#peak was 10 min ago

[lordgolden]

Ok I just finished watching the eclipse (my first one!!!!!!!) and something I wasn’t prepared for was how disconcerting the lighting was!!!! It was still light out, but like the saturation and brightness were turned down and shadows were more pronounced and cast in odd ways. It felt very alternate dimension-like

[ineffable-suffering]

Re: "You go too fast for me, Crowley", because I think I finally figured out the real meaning behind that line

Naturally, this line of all lines, the most line of them all, is constantly circling around my rotten brain like a moth around a flame.

In addition, though, there's always been another Good Omen's line/exchange that has kept bothering me again lately. And literally until just about five minutes ago, I had never thought of relating them back to each other.

Now, five minutes later, I have and I think I just ... figured it out.

In case you were wondering: The second line that wouldn't leave my head is what Aziraphale says to Crowley during their clandestine meeting at St. James' Park in 1862 when Crowley asks him for Holy Water:

A: "I'm not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley!"

And here's what bugs me about this: Why did Aziraphale, without a breath of hesitation, immediately assume Crowley wanted the Holy Water to commit suicide if things ever went wrong?

That's ... such a dark assumption to make. Especially because that is absolutely not what Crowley wanted it for, as he literally says himself:

C: "That's not what I want it for, just insurance."

And what does Aziraphale reply?

A: "I'm not an idiot, Crowley!"

Because he firmly, firmly believes that Crowley is asking him to bring him the Holy Water as a foolproof method of taking his own life in case Heaven and Hell ever find out about them.

To this day, that conversation gives me chills whenever I think about it. We so rarely get see what genuine emotions and thoughts for and about Crowley Aziraphale keeps neatly tucked away behind that tightly buttoned waistcoat of his. This moment in 1862 is one of the very rare ones where his façade slips a little – and the peak we get isn't a fun one. It's a very dark, scared and vulnerable one.

What am I on about and how does this all relate to the infamous "You go too fast for me, Crowley"-line? Let's look at it under the cut.

(Word count: 2560 | Reading time: ~10 min. | TW: mentions of suicide)

Like I mentioned up above, it always struck me to my core that Aziraphale very clearly immediately assumes Crowley wants the Holy Water for possible suicide. Not only is that a very dark and upsetting thought, it also poses the question: Why? Why is that the first place Aziraphale's mind goes to?

Crowley says at the very beginning of their conversation:

C: "We have a lot in common, you and me."

He's definitely referring to their (very mutual) relationship Arrangement and the fact that they both find themselves kept apart and watched by their respective head offices, not allowing them to ever misstep and give themselves away.

After bickering around a little like they do, Crowley asks his favour – and he makes it very clear in a quiet and serious voice that:

C: "This is something else. [...] For if it all goes wrong."

He's not just talking about Heaven or Hell finding out about some silly frivolous miracles, no. He's talking about them finding out about their Arrangement, their relationship. The worst of all worst case scenarios.

So bad, in fact, that he doesn't even ask his favour out loud but instead decided to write it down.

Aziraphale's reaction is ... severe.

We immediately see his face drop as, he too, realizes that this is all of a sudden a very serious conversation indeed. And he immediately and vigorously denies Crowley's request because he thinks it to be one for a suicide pill.

To understand how he could arrive at that lightning-quick (and also wrong) conclusion, we have to try and understand how Aziraphale sees Crowley and the threat that the angel himself as well as their relationship poses to Crowley.

Crowley can, at times, be a very self-deprecating and cynical character. He's without a doubt carrying a lot of trauma and unspoken fears and emotions with him at all times. Aziraphale at this point in their relationship probably has a good notion of what those are – but he doesn't know the whole depth of it because they've never been able to speak freely enough and Crowley has seemingly decided to keep many-a things to himself, still. They both tread the waters of plausible deniability very well.

So, to jump to the conclusion of Crowley entertaining suicidal thoughts in the face of unavoidable danger is ... quite a violent jump. And remember: "[...] underneath it all, Crowley was an optimist. If there was one rock-hard certainty that had sustained him through the bad times then it was utter surety that the universe would look after him."

So, what is it that Aziraphale does know that would drive him to such a drastic conclusion when, in reality, secret optimist Crowley only ever wanted the Holy Water to protect himself against Hell to come out safe on the other end of things?

2500 BC, Land of Uz: A: "That [going along with Heaven/Hell as far as you can] sounds, um ..." C: "Lonely? Yeah." A: "But you said it wasn‘t." C: "I‘m a demon. I lied."

After Crowley helps Aziraphale out in Edinburgh in 1827, Crowley is immediately sucked back down to Hell We don't know what exactly happened after that or just how long Crowley was gone. We also don't know if Crowley ever told Aziraphale what happened, once he returned. What we and Aziraphale do know, is that Crowley ends up asking him for Holy Water, out of the blue, only a couple of decades later.

1601, The Globe: A: "But if Hell finds out [about the Arrangement], they won't just be angry. They'll destroy you." (additionally, later in time, C: "My lot does not send rude notes.")

Ergo: It's very clear that Aziraphale seems to have put two and two together with his own angel math by what he has a) witnessed himself and b) what Crowley has said himself which equals: In going against Hell, Crowley has felt incredibly lonely before he had Aziraphale by his side and if Heaven and Hell were to ever find out about them, Hell's punishment would be a whole lot worse than Heaven's.

He thinks Hell would destroy Crowley.

So when Crowley, who so rarely says how he really feels and one of the few times he did, told Aziraphale he was lonely, says he wants the Holy Water, the immediate conclusion Aziraphale comes to is: He wants it as an emergency exit. In case things go pear-shaped. He wants it to escape whatever dreadful punishment Hell would have in stock for such a lonely traitor. He wants it as a suicide pill.

For Aziraphale to not even entertain the thought or believe that Crowley does indeed only want the Holy Water as a means of self-defense is, again, absolutely heartbreaking. Because it tells us a thing or two just how scared and desperate Aziraphale thinks Crowley to be. Something along the lines of: "If I myself am already so immensely terrified of Hell's punishment for Crowley, how terrified must Crowley be."

I think a whole lot of this is also very, very strong projection and shows us how Aziraphale himself feels about all of it. How scared he is for himself and Crowley. Of what would be done to them.

A: „Out of the question! Do you know what trouble I'd be in if they knew I‘d been ... fraternizing?“

He knows they would both suffer immense consequences and that Crowley‘s still would be worse. If anything, in a dark and twisted way, it shows that Aziraphale himself has definitely entertained the idea of suicide as a concept, at least. Maybe not for himself or Crowley, yet, but remember, he‘s awfully fond of Shakespeare‘s Hamlet.

A: „To be or not to be? Buck up, Hamlet!“

Yeah, buck up indeed. (By the way, there's a great meta by @greenthena on why Aziraphale likes Hamlet so much that kind of plays into my point a little. You can read it here).

And again, who knows what Aziraphale might have actually witnessed of Hell's cruel ways already in the past (Edinburgh of 1827, or at other times) that made him arrive at the conclusion that, ultimately, suicide would be the less painful choice for Crowley when faced with Hell's consequence for their relationship.

I told you this was gonna take a bit of a darker turn. So, here we are. At the turn. It doesn't get much lighter from here on out, I'm afraid.

Because all of this gives "You go too fast for me, Crowley" a whole new devastating meaning.

Personally, I always found it a teensy bit difficult to relate that line back to Aziraphale implying that Crowley was trying to push their relationship a little too fast for him.

Deducing that as the meaning of "You goo to fast for me" after we were shown in the montage of S1E3 that Aziraphale, from circa 1941 on, was undoubtedly fully aware of just how madly in love he was with Crowley, has always felt odd to me. And it continued to feel even odder after we got the whole story of 1941 in S2.

Because if that minisode showed us anything, it's that if you let Aziraphale take over the metaphorical wheel for about five minutes, "too fast" doesn't even match the astronomical speed with which he crashes head first into 15th base. Forget the hand holding and kissing, let's go straight to you shooting me on the first date I planned for us!

And they say romance is dead.

Now look, of course, Aziraphale is still keeping most of his romantic feelings and longing bottled up out of fear that Heaven and Hell could find out about them and have Crowley destroyed. We've established that this very big fear of his is the driving factor behind him never trying to overstep that invisible line.

But still, those feelings? They're there. Oh, Hell, they are t-h-e-r-e.

Our angel is a master of self-delusion but not even he is holy enough to deny the fact that, if he could, he'd want nothing more than to lock that demon down and elope together into their happily-ever-after.

So, when Aziraphale finally budges and hands over the Holy Water to Crowley in 1967, I've always had a hard time believing that that line coming from Mr. "I guess there's something to be said for shades of grey" himself actually meant: "I'm not ready yet, you want to go faster than I do."

Because really, apart from trying to convince Aziraphale of the Arrangement and rescuing him from every silly, coincidental predicament the angel has gotten himself into over the millennia, what exactly is it that Crowley did here to "go too fast"? Hell, he's been at it at the pace of a snail ever since, very well knowing that Aziraphale would take a lot of gentle nudging and lunch temptations invitations to agree with the Arrangement.

All Crowley does in that moment in the car is offer Aziraphale a lift, anywhere he wants to go. And yes, that is code their little dance, that is how he shows his love for Aziraphale. But Aziraphale has never before deemed that an issue or seen it as a too-fast progression of their relationship. He even suggests another date himself two seconds later, saying:

A: "Perhaps we could go for a picknick one day. Dine at the Ritz."

So, what, one sentence later he suddenly wants to hit the breaks again? After he literally looked like this the last time Crowley drove (literally way too fast) through burning London?

Nah, I'm not buying it.

Instead, here's what I think Aziraphale really means with this line that changed us all (and I'm sorry, but I'm about to one-up the sadness of the 1862 meeting):

I think Aziraphale is referring to what he thinks is the reason Crowley wants the Holy Water for.

Suicide.

And boy-fucking-howdy, does that change the game.

Because if we assume that Aziraphale, all throughout the one-century-long Holy Water standoff, thought Crowley wanted it as a quick, ahem, Escape From Everything, what I think Aziraphale really means with "You go too fast for me" is this:

To him, Crowley is asking the most cruel deed of him to bring him the one thing that could take Crowley away from Aziraphale for good. For ever. In case things go pear shaped. In case Hell finds out about them and comes after Crowley.

To Aziraphale, Crowley is asking him to load the bullet into his gun for the time it won't be a trick. So he can escape before Hell gets to him.

More devestatingly, I think Aziraphale even understands where that notion comes from. Aziraphale knows how dangerous their relationship is. And Hell does not send rude notes. So, I think after pondering on it for a good millennia, part of him has come to understand why Crowley would want an emergency exit.

Which is absolutely fucking heartbreaking.

Especially because that's not even what Crowley was thinking when he made his request. He truly only wanted it as a defense. But Aziraphale doesn't believe or fully realize that. Aziraphale believes the Holy Water is a suicide pill and to some extent even understands why Crowley might want that.

And yet, despite (wrongly, but well) understanding Crowley's intentions, Aziraphale is still deeply upset and terrified at the thought of Crowley taking his own life should they ever get caught. Which explains his extreme reaction all the way back at their clandestine meeting at St. James' Park.

Aziraphale assuming Crowley's way out of the most pear-shaped situation of them all would be suicide also means that Aziraphale would be the one who'd be ... well, left behind.

He recognises that choosing death over possible eternal punishment is maybe somewhat of an understandable choice. And yet, it's a choice that, to him, Crowley has made without him. Seemingly way before their first talk about it.

Aziraphale thinks Crowley seems to have made up his mind about his escape plan without him in it.

He thinks that if they were caught, Crowley would want some Holy Water around to quickly chug before he would be at Hell's mercy and that would be it.

Crowley would, for the first time ever, really leave. Not just for Alpha Centauri. But actually leave. Escape and run away to a point of no return. For good. Without Aziraphale. To a place where Aziraphale couldn't follow him, no matter how fast he tried to run himself.

It goes a little something like:

"If they found out about us, you would choose to go where I couldn't follow. And you're asking me to pave the road for you to walk there. Without me ever being able to get a say in walking alongside you. You want to go to places where I could never join you. You'd run away without me and I understand why but you didn't even give me a chance to catch up. You go too fast for me, Crowley."

F*ck, man. I think I need to lie down.

Y'know what else that gives new meaning to?

Alright, that's it, I'm out. Enough sad meta-ing for the day. See you all around once I've stopped slipping further into the void, folks. :')

[starry-stan-blog]

shang qinghua and shen qingqiu at a peak lord meeting and shen qingqiu is sitting there, butt CLENCHED which shang qinghua looks at him with this shit-eating grin because not 10 mins ago binghe was under the table sucking sqq off and now he has a boner and no way to cure it for the next two hours

what makes it worse is that sqh keeps making innuendoes

"this problem is far too HARD to resolve... it's been going on for a LONG time, too."

"yes, that MEMBER of STAFF might need a BEATING to get it into their MEATY HEAD."

"oh, the COCK escaped its pen? what a shame. who'll take responsibility for that LARGE loss, huh?"

and sqq is just there like

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For no longer wanting to continue a mutual hobby, started with a friend?

Hello! Long time lurker first time asker. Sorry if the title is a bit confusing!

Long story short I (27 ftm) recently started rock climbing as a hobby and a fun to exercise. For context I'm a heavier person, so I wanted to do a physical hobby that I could do at my own pace. I started with a 101 top-rope course and invited a long time friend of mine to attend with me (they suggest taking the class in pairs). After that I took a bouldering 101 course by myself (my aforementioned friend said they weren't interested, totally understandable).

I've since started to take climbing more seriously and ramped up to going 2-3 times a week (I live a 10 min walk away from the climbing gym). Also going earlier in the day to avoid the peak hours as i'm immunocompromised so the less people the better. This month will be my 4th month doing so.

We originally started climbing together however after a few weeks of meeting up once a week, they kept bailing with little to no notice (or telling me 11:30 pm the night before). Also when we'd met up the last time she brought her boyfriend along. Even though I said i'd prefer to meet him for the first time in a more relaxed environment (not me dripping with sweat and out of breath). He's a nice enough guy but I just don't want to spend time with him in this specific setting lol.

I have a very erratic work schedule vs my friend who a has pretty stable work schedule. So I find I often have to take initiative to message them (the week before) asking what days work for them. That way I can reference what days I have off. They often ignore the message for a few days or answer the morning of.

They've called out every week for the two months+. Either saying they're too tired, don't feel like it, forgot their gym clothes and or have other plans. I'm totally fine with this! Life happens and sometimes you don't have the energy for these activities. However what cheeses me off is I feel like I always have to comfort them, so they don't feel bad they bailed again and they give me little to no notice.

About 2-3 weeks ago I asked them about dates to hang out (I also specified we didn't have to climbing, even just to go hang out for coffee or something lol) and they haven’t responded, but I see them posting online with their other group of friends. Again I’m not mad about them not wanting to go, or hanging out with their other friend-group but I’d appreciate some sort response.

The thing is I also have ANOTHER friend who is interested in coming with me to try it out. Both of these friends of mine don't get along anymore. At one point all three of us where pretty close mutual friends. Nothing crazy dramatic happened but they had a falling out and they no longer interact with each other at all.

I however am still friends with both of them. They also both know I am still friends with the other friend (if that makes sense).

For possible added context I have ASD, so this sometimes causes issues when reading peoples intentions or possible passive aggression. I also get very anxious when my planned schedule/routine gets thrown off and often can derail my entire day.

So to sum it up, AITA for wanting to climb by myself, or other people besides the friend originally started the hobby with? Even if these two people aren't really friends anymore? Am I being just too hard on them? Am I just not picking up on something? Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

[ghostlee]

OMG OK IM ACTUALLY SO STUPID LOL

So @shadowpon-3 and I were supposed to fic trade a bit ago and I was like 100000% sure that I posted my half of the trade. However I found it today in my notes and I had a moment of thought where I was like. “Wait I never actually saw the reaction on this from Shadow..?” And so I got on my tumblr to check and after scrolling for like 10 mins and looking I was like “HOLY SHIT I NEVER SENT MY HALF 😭😭😭 “

IM SO SORRY OMG I FINISHED THIS AWHILE AGO AND WAS JUST POSITIVE THAT I HAD POSTED IT.

ANYWAHAHAYS HERES THE FIC

So sorry again pls forgive me and my completely unobservant ass 😭

————

Well well well. What do we have here?

Word Count: 2,458

Lee!OddJayAlter

Ler!Stephen

——

This is from DanPlan (pretend Daniel is still part of their group and they are all together still.)

————

“Ughh where did that little rascal go?” Jay asked to himself quietly as he was searching around the house for the new kitten that they just adopted.

Stephen, Hosuh and Daniel were all downstairs making lunch and sent Jay upstairs on his turn to go find Milo.. their new cat.

Jay had no issue going to look for Milo but the hunt for this kitten was starting to get on his nerves as he continued making the “pspsps” sound and crouching down to look in and around furniture.

Just as Jay was about to leave the guest bedroom he heard a small meow coming from the corner of the room as he quickly paused and slowly turned his head back towards the bed in the corner.

He got back down onto his hands and knees as he lowered himself belly down onto the ground to look under the bed.

Sure enough in the back, pressed right up against the wall was a small fluffy orange tabby. “Milo!” Jay whisper shouted as he tried to reach his hand out under the bed to get Milo to come over to him.

He waited a few seconds with his open palm not feeling anything before he got impatient and tried to reach further to no avail.

Sighing, Jay tried peak his head under to determine if it was a gap he could squeeze his body under to grab Milo and he decided for it.

Putting his hands flat on the floor he slowly but surely krept under the bed and managed to get the upper half of his chest under. Jay reached back out and took hold of Milo and started trying to scoot himself back out.

And that’s when he realized. He wasn’t going anywhere.

He was stuck under the bed.

“No no this can’t be happening.” Jay tried to tell himself and he struggled more to get out, Milo wiggled in his hand as the kitten meowed and managed to escape before running off likely into another room.

Jay let out a loud exasperated sigh and tried once again to wiggle out from under the bed. He refuse to call for help, he was better than that. Not to mention they would all likely make fun of him for getting stuck.

Maybe besides Housuh who would actually help him out and not make fun of him.

Jay tried again and again as he started becoming more frantic and it set in further that he was infact stuck.

He tried to reach his arms out to his sides to get his phone but realized he left it downstairs on the kitchen counter. Silently Jay bit back his pride and called out loud, “HEY!! CAN ANY OF YOU COME UPSTAIRS.”

There was a moment of silence as Jay prayed one of them heard it, since as much as he dreaded the idea of them finding him like this, he hated the idea of being stuck under here for awhile much more.

Suddenly a voice called up from the bottom of the steps. “What’s up Jay? Everything okay?”

Stephen.

He was bound to make fun of Jay but the blond had no other choice. “N-No.. I uh. I’m stuck!”

There was another pause as Jay started to let his mind wander over how embarrassing this was.

“You’re…. What?” Stephen yelled back up the stairs.

“IM STUCK.” Jay called out annoyed as he tried again to wriggle free as a last ditch attempt.

Suddenly he heard footsteps coming up the stairs and they padded into the doorway of the room he was in before they abruptly stopped.

He heard a small snicker and a “tsk tsk tsk” from Stephen as the boy started to giggle.

“How’d they even happen?” Stephen asked with a pique of curiosity in his tone.

“I was trying to get Milo out from under the bed.. and well.” Jay sheepishly answered back.

“Just get me out of here..” He snapped as he started to try and wiggle free again.

Stephen rolled his eyes at the impatience but then nodded before walking over to the edge of the bed and trying to see what the best approach was to get Jay out.

“Alright why don’t you try and push with your hands and I’ll try to pull.” Stephen said as he crouched down to get a good grip on Jay.

Jay in his head assumed that meant Stephen would be grabbing onto his ankles to pull so when ten fingers suddenly latched onto both of his sides and squeezed, Jay jolted and let out a strangled bark of a laugh.

Stephen quickly let go and jumped back away from Jay afraid he accidentally hurt him. “W-What was that???” Stephen asked with urgency in his voice.

“I-it was n-nothing. Don’t do th-“

Suddenly he was grabbed again in the same spot as Stephen tried to figure out what happened.

Again that same bark of laughter ripped itself out of Jays throat as he tried to reach his hands down to grab at Stephen, but this time when some giggles lingered in the air, everything became incredibly clear to Stephen.

There was silence between the two boys before he heard Stephen start laughing quietly to himself.

“Well well well…. Look what we have here.”

Stephen taunts Jay with a grin laced in his voice. “Looks like Mr.Just Get Me Out Of Here, is ticklish..”

Jay feels a pit start forming in his stomach as if he was a little kid that was just caught in a lie.

He knew he couldn’t get himself out of this one so he sighed, “yes… I’m ticklish.. please just help me get out.”

Stephen’s heart just about exploded, he wasn’t one for cutesy wholesome moments but he was a tickle monster through and through and learning that his best friend Jay was a perfect candidate for the tickle monsters appetite was just what he needed today.

“You remember that time that you replaced all of my shampoo with pink dye?” Stephen asked, letting the question loom over the blond for a moment.

“What does that have to do with- Stephen come on that was forever ago. Thats not fai-“ Jay tried to argue but got cut off.

“4 weeks Jay. That my hair was pink.” Stephen lowered his tone as he fought a grin creeping its way onto his face.

“Y-You could’ve dyed it again after!” Jay protested as he started to get more and more nervous that being tickled was getting set in stone.

“I think this is a good chance for some payback if you ask me..” Stephen laughed with a darker tinge in his voice.

“W-Waiahahahait!! Noahahahahhaha!” Jay cried out as Stephens fingers started to scribble quickly against his sides.

Jays body shook involuntarily as he laughed and laughed away, his sides felt like they had 100 butterflies all flapping their wings right against his bare skin as Stephen pushed up Jays shirt some to tease at his sensitive skin.

Jay kicked his feet uselessly behind Stephen, his feet hitting the purple haired mans back every few seconds when Stephen took a seat firmly on Jays hips.

Jay desperately tried to grab onto Stephen’s hands to stop the onslaught but not being able to see where Stephen would attack next made it far more difficult for Jay to properly grasp his hands.

Stephen switched where he was tickling every few second so Jay couldn’t grab onto him, and every time he switched spots, Jays body would jump with shock at the new attack on a different area.

“PLEHAHAHSHSSE NOAHAHAHAHAT MY SIDEHEHEHES!!!” Jay screamed with laughter while Stephen wiggled his fingers into the blonds sides before raising his hands up to scribble between each rib.

Jay tried again and again to push himself up as he somewhat pushed Stephen off his hips for a moment.

He finally managed to wiggle out a bit further in the struggle, in the fight the bed lifted up some however and he managed to flip onto his back. Once again finding himself stuck but in even more of a comprising position as Stephen took his place back on Jays hips who was now on his back.

Stephen’s eyes lit up at Jays new misfortune as he pushed up the front of Jays shirt up to his ribs to get a nice flat tickleable area in front of him.

Stephen watched as Jay greedily took in breathes as his stomach rose and fell. One thing that Stephen noticed almost immediately was a little button right in the center of Jays belly.

Specifically an outie belly button.

“You have an outie belly button??” Stephen giggled as he gazed at the small mark on Jay.

“Y-Yeahahhaah.. *deep breath* whahahat about it??” Jay asked feeling somewhat out of breathe.

“Aren’t they like. More ticklish then innies or something?” Stephen grinned knowing full well that he pulled that information from nothing.

“N-No I don’t know..” Jay sighed as he once again tried to wiggle free. “Can you just help me get out now..” he asked.

Stephen thought for a moment. He smiled to himself and slowly dragged the tip of his index fingers around Jays bare stomach making sure to avoid his belly button.

The feeling didn’t bring Jay to full laughter again but it did make him squirm some as his sides tried to get away from the sensation.

“If you let me tickle you for… 60 seconds. I’ll help you out.” Stephen said as he felt imaginary devil horns pop up over his head at the deal he was attempting to make.

“No way! What’re you gonna do? Not help me?” Jay said as he tried once again to get free to no avail.

“No, but I’d go get Daniel to “help us” and I’ll add in that you’re ticklish into the plea for help.” Stephen grinned ear to ear as he watched Jay carefully knowing the man was now at a cross road.

“30 seconds.” Jay says hoping that Stephen would take it.

“50.” Stephen called back.

“Fuck you drive a hard bargain.” Jay sighed.

“Fine… 50 seconds. But you HAVE to help me as soon as the 50 seconds is up.” Jay said as he choked back his dignity.

“And you’re not aloud to try and stop me either!” Stephen added.

“What!? That wasn’t part of the deal!” Jay whined as he gave Stephen the bird from under the bed.

“You wanna get out or not?” Stephen said to him as he drummed his fingers on Jays sides again.

Jays body squirmed uncomfortably as he took a second to process the terms of their deal.

“Fine.” Jay snapped.

“Fine what?” Stephen giggled knowing he was definitely pushing the blondes buttons now.”

“Oh my god just get it over with!!” Jay cried as he stomped his foot on the ground.

“Hahaha ok you asked for it!” Stephen said as he started to circle Jay outie belly button with his finger.

Jay felt his stomach start shaking as his body became aware of the impending tickles.

“Whahahait n-hahahao legehets re-negoti- AAGAHHhah!” Jay screeched when Stephen glided his finger over the small button.

He then started to poke at Jays navel and every time he did Jay would let out a squeal. “Hahaha it’s like a giggle button. All I need to do is press righttttt hereeee and you laugh!” Stephen said knowing full well it was driving Jay crazy.

“YouHahahHah Havahahhahave thirhahahirty seheheheconds!!” Jay managed to say through his laughter as he squirmed around under the bed.

“Ahh right right, good point. Thanks for the tip.” Stephen smiled as he dragged his fingers down to Jays hips to start softly kneading into the ticklish skin.

Stephen heard Jay start banging on the bottom of the bed with his fists as his laughter got more hysterical.

“Twehehehenty sehehehconds!” Jay yells as he fights to turn his stomach back out of Stephen’s hands. “Ah ah ah where do you think you’re going?” Stephen tsked as he follows Jays movements and scritches his fingers right on the small of Jays back.

“You’re all mine for another… 10 seconds.” Stephen grins as he watches Jay arch his back up and away from the back tickles only for Stephen to scitter his fingers over Jays stomach.

“THAHAHAATS EHEHEHVEIL STOHAHAHAHAP!!” Jay screamed as he tried to pull his legs up to protect his stomach but was blocked by Stephen.

Stephen gave Jays sides a final few pokes and squeezes watching the man break down into soft quiet giggles, something he’d not seen Jay do often which honestly did warm his heart some.

“Annndddd that’s 50 seconds..” Stephen said, sticking true to his tickly word.

Jay took in large breathes of air as he laughed away the last few giggles and let out a sigh.

“Ughh remind me not to make deals with the devil again, that was torture!” Jay whines as he waits for Stephen to help him.

“Your secret is safe with me.. for now.” Stephen says as he gets up and gets a grip on the bottom of the bed frame and lifts it up giving Jay a chance to wriggle himself out from under it.

Jay sat up and brushed himself off before glaring at Stephen who had a shit eating grin on his face.

“Not a word.” Jay said as he pushed himself up and turned away from Stephen to go back downstairs.

“I’ll find Milo later when he comes looking for food.” Jay laughs as he walks back down the steps.

“I’ll be sure to help you out again the next time you get stuck-“ Stephen says with a quick gentle poke to Jays side as the blond jumps with an offended look and bats Stephen finger away.

“Like hell you will.” Jay scoffed as he made his way back into the kitchen.

“What took you two so long? Did you find Milo?” Daniel asked the two.

With the confidence of a madmad Jay looked with his classic eyes closed smile at Daniel and said “yeah Milo ran back off, Stephen and I were just hanging out sorry we took awhile.”

Jay nudged Stephen and turned slightly to shoot a glare towards him.

“Yeah.” Stephen said as he walked over to the kitchen table. “What he said.”

Hosuh had a look of confusion on his face at first but he shrugged it off and continued assembling their sandwich’s they’d be having for lunch.

“Well whatever you two were doing I’m glad you’re back since lunch is just about ready.” Daniel said as he grabbed two of the plates and handed them to Jay and Stephen.

The two nodded and took the plates before sitting down at the table with Hosuh and Daniel.

———

End

———

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AAAH Sorry again lmao <3 😭

[ovaruling]

ok a bit emotional but you should be used to my long personal posts by now—i was finally able to deadlift 115 for todays WOD! which is not a lot for most ppls DLs but considering i only started in May and also have the ridiculous physiological history that i do and also considering that my most recent surgery included a full abdominoplasty only a couple yrs ago (evil) and considering that i’m struggling w medication and withdrawals rn……

AND considering the WOD was a pyramid of 1-10 and ladder descent back down to 1 of burpee & deadlift from crossfit games ‘22 with a 10 min cap—this is a notable functional body milestone for me! i was able to ascend the first 10 rounds by the end of the cap, after a rly rigorous warmup that kicked my ass, too

i may have broken my body a million times over but i am building and rebuilding. i was once a horrifying 80lbs at 5’9/5’10 and hospitalized for air bubbles in my heart from purging so violently and was growing sicker still from my BBL infection. it’s so weird to think of that girl now—she seems like a total stranger compared to who i am today.

i have so many of the inspiring women here to thank for being able to reach this point in my Life Comeback. i joined radblr almost a year ago and since then i have seen the changes to my well-being accelerate tenfold, and i attribute so much of that to having found strength here in the words and the fiery arguments of women who are AWAKE. there has been a real life effect for me ricocheting from the women who post here—and i want that known! for all that it can be messy, online activism is not necessarily automatically a net zero. it does affect many of us in our daily lives in a positive way. it has the ability to feed and organize so many of us who started with no hope, no minds of our own. do not underestimate your voices here—they are not zero. i am proof of it, even if i’m only one woman.

and if i do nothing else w my life i want to be a small proof of the resilience of women disabled by both lifetimes of eating disorders and the evil cosmetic industry. if i can do this—if EYE, me, just some woman—can do this……..then we CAN still grow and repair. also our 20s are not the end of us nor are they a peak of anything. we are not finished. we can and will regenerate…. salamander women rise up……

[idontknowreallywhy]

For the fic writers ask game!!

14 how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

40 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

56 What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

p.s. you are definitely a proper writer and a wonderful one!

Rediscovered The Inbox (which tends to hide on the mobile app) -better late than never on a reply??

I did answer 14 already ages ago I think so have been pondering the other two…

40 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I actually just commissioned some art on one particular scene which I am beyond excited about and may well get addicted to that process (note to self, check whether hubby is cool with second mortgage purely for multiple art commissions…) so that is kind of a dream come true (I’m getting WIP sketches etc and doing a lot of happy screaming!) but aside from that one…

There are scenes I feel like I’ve described quite well which could be artable but for others the actual picture stayed mostly in my head because I felt the detail would clog the narrative and I think I describe sound and smell better than visual anyway I think? There definitely one I’d love to see but not sure I’ve ever adequately described Estera for anyone to draw her (tho they’d be welcome to try!) but… if I could magically crystallise any image I’ve written it would be the photo she’s looking at here:

Her gaze shifted to the new photo, framed in blue, that she had recently added to her gallery. Yes, and in the last few months… everything had suddenly changed again. But this time in an indisputably good way. Because the imaginary hero had somehow shed the imaginary bit and become her friend. The two of them grinned manically out of the hasty selfie - hair dishevelled, flushed with adrenaline and drenched in seawater but vividly, irrepressibly alive.

Which was taken just after this scene. And yes, Scooter has destroyed another expensive suit 😏

56 What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I’m going to try to flip something I often worry is a failing in my stories because the reason I haven’t “fixed” it is because it is actually the bit I feel I’m best at and certainly is the stuff that comes out when I get excited with a sudden NEED to write immediately. So… even though I suspect it makes my fic slooow and the plot languishes in the background…

A thing I love doing and I think I’m getting better at is exploration of the thoughts and feelings of a character in a specific moment/scene. Usually through an inner monologue, sometimes interspersed with dialogue, but I just love picking apart a character’s mind spiral to show where they are mentally on a matter, where they came from and maybe edging them towards some progress. Scott and Virgil are the usual victims of this but I often do it to an OC as well, with the intent of showing one of the main characters’ development through external eyes.

Again, it doesn’t make for exciting, action-filled fic and I sometimes feel guilty for posting 3 chapters covering about 10 mins of events but… actually I enjoy reading that kind of thing from other people so clearly I believe it’s legit story telling when they do it so I’m trying to give myself permission to believe it is when the writer is me :)

Thanks for the ask and the encouragement (which, coming from one of my fave writers, is extra encouraging!)

[waltwolfman]

Over a year ago I made my first ever game with Unity. WAYSTATION is a fan-game made to explore the liminal place where the world of "Kentucky Route Zero" meets "Twin Peaks: The Return."

Inspired by Chocobox prompts from @laughingpinecone and babe_without_the_arms. I'd never done anything like this before so we're talking a lot of tutorials and trial and error.

Playtime: Approx 10 mins.

[revengemode]

Finished 9 and 10:

TCR peaked at episode 8 for me. Which is unfortunate because I really was looking forward to the courtroom scenes.

Things I liked:

- Stan’s opening argument. Christopher Abbott was shining in these last episodes.

- He is an asshole, and that’s an understatement, but they nailed Marlin. They not only managed to show him as someone who could be caring to Candy and someone who slickly twists the truth to make himself look good.

- The prosecution using Annabelle to paint Danny as someone with a violent past instead of someone who finally stood up to his bully.

- The prosecution using Jerome’s testimony to diminish the relationship he had with Ariana. She even put doubts in Jerome’s mind. Well done.

- The prosecution painting Rya as an opportunist. More importantly the fact that this was the first time Danny heard about it. Planting the seed in his mind that she was just another person using him instead of an ally. Rya breaking down after her testimony was also great. However I hate how they transition from that to her talking to Candy. It felt like too big of a jump (I understand time is of the essence).

- Rya and Candy in the dinner is one of the highlights of the show to me.

- I absolutely love that Candy didn’t come through for Danny. The opposite would have made me raise an eyebrow tbh.

- Tom’s performance on the stand was amazing!!!!

- I liked the conversation with Rya, the where is Ariana made me laugh.

- Same with his conversation with Candy. Her being vulnerable about struggling with coming to the realization that she “let” two monsters in their lives was great. Glad he’s keeping her at bay because there’s real damage there.

Things I didn’t like:

- The elevator scene between Candy and Marlin was a bit on the nose.

- The aftermath of Danny’s s****** attempt was underwhelming. I understand why his attempt was important in the show as in his mind everyone, including the one that gave him hope (Rya then his mom) failed him. I think Ariana coming in was great…However, going from that to Jack on the hospital bed kinda fell flat to me. Idk.

- I WISHED TCR WOULD LET TOM’S PERFORMANCE DISPLAY WHICH ALTER WE ARE LOOKING AT AND WHAT IS GOING ON IN HIS MIND WITHOUT ALWAYS CUTTING TO THE BARN AND THE SPECTACLE OF IT ALL. I didn’t need to see Danny in a cage. I didn’t need to see Danny trying to reach out to Adam under water. From what I saw, Tom had it and didn’t need the heavy lifting. It even made it look a bit ridiculous to me at times. No offense abeg.

- The prosecutor on the verge of tears after seeing Jack/Adam/Danny’s scene on the stand when 5 mins ago she was convinced Danny was pretending. I don’t buy that 180.

- Was this enough to find him not guilty? I don’t think so though I’m glad they did?

- A lot of questions left unanswered. Feels like it needed 2 more episodes at least.

My grades:

- TCR: 7.5/10

- Tom Holland (the actor only): 9/10

- The executive producers incl Tom: 6/10

- The writers: 4/10

- Amanda: 7/10 (the writers screwed her)

- Sasha Lane: 9.5/10 (loved her in this)

My opinion only. Not facts, so rest.

[andoqin]

List of dramas that I am watching or want to watch, just for personal record reasons:

Cdramas:

The ingenious one (36/36): this drama has blown me away so far with its incredibly nuanced and sharp writing, its love stories between all the major couples and the absolutely magnificent cinematography. FINISHED verdict: HIGHLIGHT drama of the year for me so far. Smart, engaging, complicated, peak romance of all sorts, just what the doctor ordered tbh (overly long review can be found in my tags). 9.5

Chang Feng Du (40/40): I did not realise how close to the end I was. This drama is very pleasant and I adore our mains, but sadly except for a few highlights (the early beating gjs put on himself, the destruction of the gu family and the aftermath, the battle for wangdu) the writing hasn’t been able to keep the narrative tension up which is sad. FINSHED verdict: Very pretty and engaging in the beginning kinda loses me in the second half and then fizzles out emotionally, doesn't crash and burn but doesn't exactly stick the landing either 6.5

Gone with the rain (10/30): adore the gremlin4gremlin couple and from the spoilers I’ve seen not gonna adore much else

An ancient love song (1/16): incredible first episode and with only 30 min per ep and 16 eps in total this is gonna be a short fun ride I hope ( with lots of angst and tears naturally).

Here we meet again (18/32): started this for Wu Qian playing to type and Zhang BinBin being pretty but oh boy I’m struggling I just don’t care about the conflicts and in s surprising twist, I like the flashbacks to high school much much more, which is very funny if you think about the fact that the reason I started liking wu qian in the first place was because of her show stealing performance in the flashbacks of My Sunshine. I’ve been promised kisses in the near future so I’m gonna hold out till then but this might end up another drop.

Hidden Love (5/25): this one promises to be v sweet and kinda short but oh my god I have so many dramas on my plate rn so this might end up the first drop.

Till the end of the moon (22/40): I think I watched ep 1 when it started but then I got busy and now I am just staring at gifsets and crying, it’s definitely on the list to watch tho.

Heroes (6?/38): I started this a while ago, was really into it and then got busy… dammit. I might just rewatch the beginning so I can remember most of the set up for sure but man the visuals on this were so good, aaaa liu yuning.

Blood of youth (0/40): the last 12 months really have spoiled us with interesting looking wuxia dramas and this one is definitely on the list, I have been gifbaited once again.

Ray of light (0/30): usually hs dramas are something I avoid, but because I will not be watching the longest promise, for reasons, and bc @storge is a gifmaking temptress, this has made it on the list.

The legend of anle (0/39): Lmao trust YOUKU to screw up the release with bad subs only 1 ep even for vips and no released schedule… but at least I can put this on the backburner for now. Lmao should have known not to trust a youku dilreba drama, the tl has soundingly spoken and I'm gonna avoid this.

Ancient Detective (0/24): I was recced this by a friend when I mentioned my love for wuxia dramas, and since it’s almost shockingly short for a cdrama it’s on the list. EDIT: this got @purplehanfus seal of approval so it is def going up the list and since it's complete I'll probably at least watch it before the ongoing ones.

Butterflied love (0/22): see I barely made this post and already forgot about the screencap that got me started on writing it, the screencapa look great, but the drama is on mango, so who knows when I’ll truly be able to watch this

When I fly towards you (0/24): Well, I wasn't interested bc modern youth drama, but then I heard it described as "updated It Started with a Kiss" and... I'm weak? ISWAK was pretty much my crack gateway into asian dramas and while IDK if i could rewatch it today, something in me will always love this kind of story. Maybe it's like a quick palate cleanser in between since apparently eps are only about 30 mins.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook(0/40): CHENG YIIIII, in a possibly bromantic role? Or maybe het romance, I'll take it all. Plus I've already seen he's bleeding copious amounts as per his contract, so that's most of the checklist done.

Lost You Forever (0/??): because nature abhors a vacuum I apparently must have?? A minimum to watch pile and this actually and genuinely looks good??? A Yang Zi drama in 2023??? The mind boggles. Anyway I've been reading the recaps with delight, and am def going to watch this when part two airs in a couple of months but until then I have a thankful reprieve...

Kdramas:

See you in my 19th life (4/12): since kdramas release so slowly this is on the backburner but it does have some great gifsets that keep enticing meee

King the land (2/16): I am watching this for junho but it is kinda hard bc I have so much else on my plate and while I don’t mind a classic romcom type story I feel I need a bit more of an emotional hook

Story of the nine-tailed 1938 (0/16): so so many gorgeous and hilarious gifsets so little time. I loved season one so so much and the fact that this focuses on the brotherly relationship?? Extremely smart writing decisions were made!

The red sleeve (0/16): I blame @dangermousie for this she keeps reblogging angsts junho on my dash and I am but god’s weakest warrior.

Love tractor (0/8): gay himbo farmboy falls in love?? You bet this is on the list

Lady durian (0/?): ok this is only on the list for crack reasons but, daughter in law is in love with mother in law and both women are like 40+ truly kdramas have entered a new era and I kinda wanna be here for that

EDIT: Revenant (0/12): Kim Tae Ri in a spooky drama? POSSIBLY POSSESSED KIM TAE RI??? how could i forget to put her on this list, plus it was written by the Kingdom writer and I adore that drama plus it's only 12 eps which is smart in this case so... let's hope i get to it at some point D:

My dearest (2/20): I checked this out because it's got pretty much everything going for it from a production standpoint and boy did the first two eps deliver. This has got 2 seasons though so I'll probably wait until the second season is airing, since it won't be too long till season 2 or so the internet tells me.

My lovely liar (0/16): minhyun learned to act and I wanna see it happen!!

Jdramas:

Our dining table (2/10): ok this category is gonna be a bit shorter bc I haven’t watched too much drama recently but omg the gifs for this I am just crying thinking about it they look so cute??

Jack o‘frost (0/6): people have recced it and it’s short so here it is.

Utsukushii kare s2 (0/4): Season 1 was an unexpected delight so I hope s2 works just as well.

She loves to cook and she loves to eat (0/10): the manga for this is amazing (and hungry making) so I hope this adaptation holds up.

Ok this list is in no way exhaustive (well except for me being exhausted just trying toward this down) and probably subject to change ( I haven’t even looked at thaidramas or twdramas I gotta stop for now) but hopefully this will keep me on the ball and maybe I can add to it whenever a new tempting gifset crosses my dash…

[zingaplanet]

lmao please imagine growing disillusioned with the sport you chose to make your life at age 22? 23? only for a Spanish teenager with a grin like the sun to come along and knock you on your ass so hard you fall in love with the thing that means the most to you all over again, maybe more so than ever before… And to make matters worse he’s not gonna disappear after a slam or 2, he will stay with you for the rest of your long, wonderful career that never stops being entwined with his, to the very last fucking second, and you’ll be so glad to have him next to you you’ll never stop being grateful for who he is and what he’s done… feeling Normal feeling Fine by the way !!!!!!!! coolcoolcoolcoolcool

ANONNN 🥲🥲🥲 THIS IS SUCH AN ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF ROGI'S LIFE IT'S ALMOST IRONIC LOL

Honestly, Roger taking 5 years to come to terms with the fact that Rafa was there to stay, THEN taking another 10 years to realise he might actually, ehem, kinda really really like him, ehem THEN another 10 to realise that he very much would, ehem, really really like him to STAY and maybe RETIRE WITH HIM is just peak hilarity.

All the while Rafa on the sideline be like "rogelio i can tell u this 10 yrs ago if u listen n stop laughing at me for 5 mins ok"

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Petty Fandom Rant :3

So I've been watching youtube for a lengthy period of time now, and I love general nerd and geek stuff. I love fandom stuff as well, and I like seeing content made with all of that stuff in mind, from people that also love the same mediums.

This is mostly a stupid rant but it's something that irks me about people in fandoms in general. So most of you have heard of Death Battle. Recently they did a 3rd installment to the Goku v Superman. Which originated about 10 years ago.

In the first video Goku had the ability to go Super Saiyan 3. In the second one I believe that Super Saiyan God came out. And as of now, We have Super Saiyan Blue, and Ultra Instinct (Not a skill unique to Saiyans but among the Z fighters unique to Goku).

One of my biggest gripes with this whole thing was that it capitalized on two very large fandoms and pitted them against one another. Which for Superman fans and Dragon Ball Z fans was not uncommon at the time, but this kind of made it worse. The original video also spawned 100's if not 1000's of videos talking about how it was bias.

Funny enough the guys from Death Battle came out and said that YES they were bias for Superman as they were both fans of his. Which is perfectly fine. But that could have been stated towards the beginning of the video. However, the videos went as such.

The first one actually nerfed Goku due to an error in the math used to calculate Goku's power. It also did something else that annoyed the shit out of me.

Goku has ONE canon. Superman has dozens of them. If we were going to do a fair fight of Goku v Superman, several things would have to be at play.

Both would have to believe that they had to finish off the other, and there was no other choice.

Both would have to be at peak fighting shape.

They would have to be fighting in an arena that gave neither an disproportionate advantage. Examples -Superman's more or less "ability" to be immortal because of sh*t writing and angry fans not willing to see him die *insert healing coma here* -The Sun being able to literally keep superman healing indefinitely -The Sun being able to keep Superman FIGHTING indefinitely As such the only solution would be an arena with no sunlight. Either the Time Chamber, or the similar space created by Whis' Staff in Dragon Ball Super.

Superman would have to be limited to 1 canon for each fight.

Basically that leads me to the biggest issue I had with the Original and subsequent fight (Part two). When they did the Death Battle, the combined all of the post crisis powers of Superman together into one version of him. And while it was not an exact replica of Pre Crisis Superman, it very much was comparable. Save the example of "The power to create any power on the fly".

I never liked that they pretty much weaponized 2 VERY prominent fandoms against one another. If I'm going to be frank about this. However, I think it would have been fun to actually take Goku v Superman, and turn it into a mini series, where they compared the varying canon's to one another. So maybe Goku *as is current in canon*, and Superman from the original TV show. Vs the Superman from the original cartoon. Vs the New 52's Superman. So on and so forth.

Me personally. I liked Superman growing up, but over time I started to find him very boring because it felt like he never had an obstacles. Any time he faced any "issue" you knew he would not die and he would not lose. And it wasn't because, "He's the main character". It was because he was just TOO powerful. And even though there are stakes in DC, often times when it involves Superman, they are mitigated to next to nothing. Because Superman can just fly into the sun. Wait 5 min, then come back and decimate the enemy.

Honestly it feels like lazy writing.

However more to my point. I think had they done 1 on 1 between Goku and varying versions of Superman, both fandoms would have been more tame about how they felt. What it ended up feeling like however was a one sided sh*t show with DBZ fans on the receiving end. And the second video was EVEN WORSE. Given that it has Superman Prime in it, on top of every power of every other Superman Post Crisis, and had it more or less be a no contest against A Saiyan God. It felt really heavy handed. And much like a middle finger.

As for the 3rd video? I refuse to actually watch it. Because I know that it is using Ultra Instinct Goku and probably like before, EVERY SINGLE GOOD trait of Superman. Which not even Saitama from One Punch could beat. And Saitama is a parody character that is more or less indestructible. And Superman would find a way. Because yeah. EVERY SINGLE perfected power and ability post crisis.

It's honestly just stupid.

ANYWAYS, this has been my stupid rant about fandom.

[hotelsinkanataluttarakhand]

TRIP TO KANATAL A PERFECT WEEKEND GATEWAY

ABOUT KANATAL

Hotel Kanatal Crown, a nature resort that is a precious jewel in the crown of Uttarakhand gives you a remarkable, alluring and bracing holiday experience. Set amidst majestic forests of pine, deodar trees, magnificent rhododendrons, fruit-bearing apple trees, terrace farms intricately carved along hillsides, Water Fall chirping birds all around and the fresh, invigorating mountain air, the impeccable lodging, travel, Wellness, adventure, conference, dining, and entertainment facilities at Hotel Kanatal Crown blend beautifully with nature's bounty.

Hotel Kanatal Crown is framed in a five acre plot with a view of snow-clad Himalayan peaks. Hotel Chakrata Homes offers 10 rooms and a suite with the excellent facilities which have been designed with careful thought to the most minute details and painstaking efforts, all aimed at enhancing the comfort and well being of our esteemed guests.

Hotel Kanatal Crown is one of Delhi’s nearest snow destination, occupying prime location on the Mussoorie Chamba highway, the high point of the year at Dhanaulti occurs between December and February, when over 50 inches of powder snow carpets its areas, creating a spectacular Cottonwood Canyon and transforms the landscape into a ravishing white wonderland. It’s a paradise where you can put your feet up, pamper your frayed nerves and take in deep breaths of the Frangipani-scented breeze that wafts across the resort. Best Resort In Kanatal,  Hotels in Kanatal Crown

SURKHANDA DEVI TEMPLE

Surkanda Devi is a Hindu temple near Kanatal, Uttarakhand, India. It is at an altitude of about 2756 metres lies close to nearby hill stations of Dhanaulti and Chamba walking distance of approx 3 kilometres [1.9 mi] from Kaddukhal, the place where vehicles are parked.

TEHRI LAKE WATER SPORTS

JET SKKI

SPEED BOAT 

PARASALING 

BANANA RIDE

HOUSE BOAT

MOTAR BOAT

ADVENTURE ACTIVITES

ADVENTURE ACTIVITES IN KANATAL

ZIP LINE

ROPE CYCLING

REVERSE BUNGE JUMPING

ROCK CLIMBING

SKY WALK

ROCK CLIMBING & REPLLING

JUNGLE SAFARI

Kaudia Forest is a very nice picnic spot and popular for hiking in Kanatal. A level walk of 6 kms will show dense forests opening into a vast expanse of undulating hills and valleys. Tiny, gurgling natural springs are along the way. The track can be used by the jeeps. One could easily spot a few wild animals as well., The trek begins with a narrow dirt track and unfolds into a plateau that then leads to dense forests, undulating hills, spectacular views of the valley below and natural springs.

ECO PARK DHANAULTI

Spread over an area of 13 hectares covered in deodar and oak trees, Eco Park is one of the most visited attractions of Dhanaulti. It was developed by the DFO and the citizens of Dhanaulti to create employment opportunities for the poor people taken as a measure to reduce poverty. Located at the height of 7800 m above the sea level, this place has enjoyable weather throughout the year.

KEMPTY WATER FALL MUSSOORIE

Gigantic Fall with somersault of the streams before hitting the bottom, Kempty Falls is the most popular and one of the oldest tourist spot in Mussoorie. Developed before more than 150 years ago by a British man, Kempty Falls is the most fascinating picnic spot or a perfect day out place nearby Mussoorie at a distance of 15 km.

LocationMussoorieOn Yamunotri RoadDist./ Travel Time14.5 kms / 34 mins

[chamaleonsoul]

i was about to make a post joking about how schewpid is that some things that please me the most -like coffee and cigarettes- come with side effects to my body (nausea and tachycardia and anxiety yk the drill) that make me feel guilty for treating it "badly", and how funny that is bc the whole deal is so fucking catholic. and then like 10 mins ago i saw a text post about confession being peak shame/praise kink. and about 40 mins ago i was thinking of going to sit at a church one of these days, not to pray or anything because i haven't been religious for like 13+ years, but like, i'm just having this random impulse. And it might be the fact that i had caffeine today by accident and my braincells are the doing synapsys or idk, but guys i think i might have more religious trauma than i thought🧍🏼

[thespoondrawer]

So...I did a thing.

A long thing, a wet thing.

Did I enjoy every minute? nope. Did I enjoy most of it? nope.

But, did I finish it? yes. Did I run every step? yes. Did I finish in 3h59m and 26 seconds? hell yeah!

THANK YOU to EVERY single one of you who donated and made it worth doing the thing. I won't do it again so don't worry...you will stop hearing about this very soon.

It was the hardest thing I've done physically, and almost as wet as the last horrid (virtual) London Marathon I did in 4h2m in 2020.

I AM happy, honest....but I think I'll only realise that in a day or two more. I'm aching but it's a nice ache and only going DOWN stairs hurts and I ain't picking anything of the floor any time soon.

BUT...without seeming arrogant, and I know Nicola Hunt gets it (thank you so much for saying exactly what's in my head), but I did think I could possibly hit 3h40m...looking at my 22 mile training run to Bedworth and back which I did in 3:00 including a fall at 19 miles only a few weeks ago...so 4 hours was a surprise. BUT as I'd written off that target by mile 20 when I was overtaken by the 3:55 pacers (obviously not MY pacers in the end) it was a pleasant one.

Why did it take me 20+ minutes more than I thought? why was every single step after Tower Bridge awful? I put it down to 'sensory overload'. From Saturday AM getting to London on shitty trains, getting to the Expo to pick up my number in 5 mins then getting back to the AirBnb (surely making this mandatory to do in person is all about trying to sell me more running tech I don't need), meeting Shiv and the girls who arrived later, trying to eat well, get some sleep, then getting up in Tower Hamlets and trying to eat something when the stomach said NO...finding out the Underground line to Lewisham was out of action, having to get 3 tubes to get to Blackheath (waiting for 4 trains before one has 3cm of space for me to fit in), walking up to the heath not even being able to see any of London on the horizon, queuing for the toilet I didn't even need because I'd been told I should, hanging around in the cold and wet for 90 mins then ALL that 'I don't know what is going on' in my head.

Once we had started it felt...ok....I did have a little space and quickly I started chatting to the lovely Amber who entertained and motivated me all the way to Tower Bridge....but then I 'let her go' to smash it in 3h42m. What I did know but didn't prepare for, I don't know how you could, was the noise, the cheering, the banging choons, the puddles, the desolate drab arse end of London for the first 13 miles (except a tiny bit of Cutty Sark) then another 10 of drab 'could be any city in the world' before the final ouchy 3 miles where you CAN see London but you just want to see a foil blanket.

4 hours of simultaneously trying to ignore the other 44,000 runners and having to be uber-aware where they are about to slow/stop inches in front of you, elbow past you or find a tiny gap to slip between them in a rare burst of speed. Exhausting and VERY different to a happy 13 miles to Kenilworth and back taking in the sights and smells of HS2.

Then the cheering was lovely, and I WISH I had put my name on my shirt...every 30 seconds...bloody 'GO AMBER YOU'RE SMASHING IT' whilst an older grumpier looking bloke got no love. I really WANTED to high five all the kids but by halfway I just didn't have anything to give them...

Then to nail my coffin, seeing so many obviously keen runners (in vests!) pulling up with cramp, lying on the street covered in coats and holding their loved one's hands over the barrier...thinking all the time 'my calves are going to cramp soon, that will be me' all the way to the line.

So...I've done it and that's a closed chapter I think. I know people say 'you'll change your mind' but I don't think I will. Those 34 seconds I think mean I don't feel I need to prove anything. I don't get my running mojo from races, medals or speed. Parkrun maybe...but I might have also reached my peak there with 22:03...

Back to solo running, early sunny mornings, podcasts on and my stats on Strava and fewer wobbly bits to motivate me.

BUT THANK YOU ALL for support, cash and love. xx

Especially Siobhán Harrison and my amazing girls who had a shit time in shit busy wet tiring London too.

Look at the face. That says it all