#peanut's wheel of fortune event

[theholypeanut]

KIYOSHI TEPPEI X SECOND CHANCES

Peanut Wheel of Fortune Event

Cw: 2,3k, hurt to comfort, angst, Kiyoshi getting hurt (as in knb plot), one curse word, gn!reader

Plot: Kiyoshi was your biggest love, but it’s not easy to date a person who will sacrifice themselves on every chance they got

Event Masterlist

Kyoshi Teppei was a perfect guy. 

When you met him at the beginning of your high school life, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was anyone who embodied Golden Retriever energy better than he did. He was so nice to everyone, energetic, polite, and well-mannered, and he simply shined everywhere he went. You couldn’t believe how that happened, that one rainy day he confessed to you, with this bright smile, a tiny blush, while rubbing his nape from embarrassment. You could guess he asked at least three different people for their good luck before talking to you. Of course, you liked him too, how could you not? It was Kiyoshi Teppei. 

The first month of our relationship felt like a dream. He was Prince Charming, the greenest flag, the person who, on hearing you say you were thirsty, would run to the shop to get three of your favourite drinks and a soup just in case and sprint back before you even noticed. He always put you first and talked to you for hours, and your family loved him too. You cheered him on at every game and you became friends with his team, it all felt like the high school romance manga of your dreams. Until it started to fall apart.

Kiyoshi not only put you first, but he put everyone first. He was the most selfless person you knew. When Seirin started to get far in Inter-High elimination, he was the one working the hardest and sacrificing the most. It didn't surprise you that you spent less time together as a result: you couldn't be angry, and you'd support him no matter what. Or so you thought. Kiyoshi would never talk to you and tell you what was wrong, but you noticed a change in his behaviour at some point when his shine was no longer so bright. You noticed micro-expressions on his face like he was in pain - but whenever you asked him about it, he'd brush it off and tell you everything was fine.

Your dates became less frequent, but you were okay with that. Having a boyfriend with big dreams wasn't going to be easy. And then the Kirisaki Daiichi match happened. 

At this point, you already noticed that Teppei was overworking himself. He always put everyone first without looking back - that was what you loved and hated about him at the same time. But when you saw him get hurt during the match, it broke your heart. The whole scene looked awful and you had to cover your mouth in case you were going to throw up. The match was stopped and everything was chaotic. You barely remember anything until you got to the hospital. You wanted to be there for him, to support Kiyoshi in his worst moments. But your final straw was when he refused surgery because otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to play basketball in high school. 

You yelled at him to the point that the nurse asked you to leave. You cried and just told him you won't take it anymore. You refused to just stand there and watch him kill himself for basketball. He didn't say anything.

And that's how your relationship with Kiyoshi Teppei ended. 

People always say that your first love rarely is the last one. You wouldn’t know - even after some time had passed and you hadn't talked to Kiyoshi since the break-up, you couldn't imagine dating someone else. You were partly grateful that he was in hospital for so long and that you didn't have to see him, because deep down you knew that if he asked you to come back, you'd do it in a heartbeat. Your friends stayed by your side, telling you that you deserved to be with someone who didn't put basketball ahead of his health and, well, you. But as the year went on, you couldn't help but wonder if you'd ever loved someone as much as you loved him.

The graduation passed and you still didn’t even see him in the school. At first, you were angry, but as time went on you had to fight the temptation to call him and ask how he was. You avoided his friends from the team till graduation, but it was eating you from the inside how you couldn’t even catch a glimpse of him at school. Graduation of the first year, spring holidays, beginning of the new year. No sight. No call, no message. You were going through all stages of grief. You heard rumours about the basketball team being amazing again, without Kiyoshi. „Good for them” you replied to your friends when someone tried to break the news to you as a kind of small talk. Everyone around you knew not to mention basketball anymore. At that point, it almost felt like it was basketball that took away your first love.

But deep down, you were rooting for Seirin. How could you not? This team was built with your lover's sweat, tears and blood. But it made you sad that he was not here to contribute to its success. Until Kiyoshi showed up for the winter semester. And instead of feeling relieved that he was well, you were angry again. When he didn't even find a second to write you a single message for a year, you kind of wished he had a good reason: not that he'd just come back to school, all bright and shiny like before, without a proper explanation. Or has he moved on?

You wouldn’t know, and to be fair, you didn’t want to know. Because the idea that Kiyoshi simply moved on, because it was not as important to him as it was to you was as painful to you, as getting hurt during the match was to Teppei. So you decided to ignore him. Pretend that you never crossed paths. Sometimes it was less painful than seeing him behave like nothing had happened and that you had never been together.

You didn’t come to any games, you didn’t want to listen to the exciting news about how Seirin had a realistic chance of winning this time. Until one day, out of nowhere, you got a message from an unknown number. 

You hadn't really blocked Kiyoshi the year before, because he never really tried to contact you. But one day, a month after you broke up, your best friend invited you over for a sleepover, you had two beers together, and after being influenced, you deleted his number and all his messages. But you knew his number by heart, so when it popped up on your screen, your heart skipped a beat.

„If we win this game, please let’s talk” it’s all it said. Of course, that was so Teppei. He was at the school for almost four months and needs a fucking game to schedule when he will talk to you. You didn’t answer. There weren't enough words in the vocabulary to describe how angry and sad you were, and you didn't want to be the salty ex who wrote him an angry essay and made him lose a game.

But it happened: Seirin won. And just out of curiosity, you actually watched the game this time. You couldn't get rid of the painful feeling in your chest when you knew how much it had cost Teppei to achieve all this. On the one hand, you were relieved that he finally made it, but on the other hand, you couldn't deny the sadness. You never replied to that text, partly out of fear: you didn't really know what to expect from him anymore: it had been a year since you broke up, what was there to say? You felt stupid for never really moving on, but life went on without you. And maybe Kiyoshi too.

Days after the game, you stayed longer at school, stuck with your class responsibilities. It was quiet and the evening sun was glowing through the window, as you stapled the notes teacher asked you to bring after classes. Just as you finished, the classroom door opened abruptly. "A perfect student as always?" You heard a familiar voice and felt a shiver run down your spine. "Stop making fun of me, I've never been a perfect student anyway" you replied, slightly annoyed. This was so him: trying to make up for the year of ghosting with a friendly joke. "You never replied to my text. Did you change your number?" He ignored your answer and asked without further small talk. You avoid his eyes as you reply, avoiding the question: "Congratulations on your win, Kiyoshi."

Your tone was neutral, cold. The worst part was, it’s not like you hated him. How could you? But the wound was too deep to just fall into his arms like in a cheap romance novel. You heard his footsteps as he came closer, sitting on the table right next to you. „I’m so sorry.” You heard his full of regret voice. „I don’t even know where to start with all of the things I should apologise for. But what you need to know is that for all this time I could never stop thinking how I want to make it up to you.” He stopped for a second, and continued, hesitantly: „All I want to know, is if you… still love me enough, to give me a second chance. Or love me at all.”

You smiled, to his surprise. You finally looked at him, for the first time since he had entered the room. "How is it that after all this time you still know exactly what I want to hear?" He smiled back, but before he could say anything, you continued in a serious tone: "Why didn't you say anything for a year?" This was no time to beat around the bush - no amount of sweet words would change the fact that he had simply let you go and only returned when he had achieved his goal. No matter how you look at it, it seems that you were never his priority, only basketball.

Kiyoshi felt slightly intimidated by your straightforwardness, but sent you one of his branded bright smiles. 

"You know, that's one of the things I've always loved about you: you're the most honest person I've ever met. I still remember you yelling at me in the hospital. I have thought about your words ever since." He paused for a moment, looking down at his huge, calloused hands. "At first it took me a long time to process what had happened. Can you imagine that the whole time I was in hospital, I didn't believe it was over? I just refused to believe it. All the time I just believed that we would talk it out and it would be the same. Every day I rehearsed in my head my apology when you'd walk through the hospital door like you used to. But you never did. It seems so silly now, but all the time I thought that if I wrote to you, the break-up would be real. It wasn't. I think I only realised it when I came back to school and you refused to look at me. I don't think I've ever felt so empty in my life. Not even Hanamiya's foul came close to that pain. But I didn't want to just come crawling back to you and repeat the exact same pattern as last year. I did not want to... disappoint you like that again."

After you heard him pause, you couldn't help but wonder if there was any way you could have resolved this sooner, by communicating. You looked at his face attentively. "But now… I guess after we won with Hanamiya… All I could think about was how much I want us to be together again. It is embarrassing to admit how much I missed your voice. Even if you'll just scold me. But at least" he hesitated, and you noticed a tiny blush on his cheeks, "at least I had the courage to finally ask you if there was any chance that you felt the same way." His face became even more red as he quickly added: "I heard from Riko that you don't go out with anyone, if you do, I'm so sorry for saying such things."

You looked at him, still stunned by everything you'd just heard, and you couldn't help but think that Kiyoshi Teppei really is a perfect guy. No matter how much you wanted to hate him right now, to scream at him for all the time he hadn't reached out to you, you felt the anger just go away by looking at his face, all red, and his beautiful eyes trying to avoid your gaze out of embarrassment and fear that he might have said all those things to a taken person. How could you be so angry with him? You moved slowly towards him and rested your forehead on his chest. He was surprised by the sudden touch, but didn't move. 

"You're so stupid" you said as you grabbed his shirt. You waited a second to not let him notice that your voice was cracking. "Promise me you'll never do anything like that again? I never want to hear you put basketball before your health again." You couldn't see his face, but he sighed and put his hand on your head. 

„I promise” he said with the most gentle voice. 

You know what they say, that love is not enough for a relationship to survive. But this time you really think it will be enough to fuel both of you to work it out and grow together so that you'll never break up again.

Bonus:

[wjbsart]

A complete, very long list of all GBoard-combinable emojis because I can't find one anywhere.

Ok so for those who haven't seen my stuff (or have only seen my Bionicle posts), I sometimes emoji mashup redraws, with the recent fourth one using GBoard-based fusions. Frustratingly, there's no actual list of fusion-compatible emojis, so I'll attempt to compile them, in a list below the "Read More" thing:

Green/▢ = compatible with fusion Blue/△ = only works with certain emojis Red/◯ = not compatible with fusion

Also, since other people's terms for specific emojis might not match up with mine, I recommend using CTRL+F and then doing this to find the specific emoji you're looking for. This list is in the order presented in GBoard's Emoji menu. Some of them will be generic unicode symbols, I don't know how to change that, sorry for the inconvenience. Also, I won't aknowledge multi-category Emoji.

Smileys and Emoticons

😀Open-mouthed smile▢

😃Wide-eyed smile▢

😄Closed-eyed smile▢

😁Closed-eyed grin▢

😆Laughing▢

😅Sweating smile▢

😂Cry-laughing▢

🤣Cry-ROFLing▢

😭Crying▢

😗Kissing▢

😙Kissing, closed eyes▢

😚Kissing, blushing▢

😘Kissing, winking w/ heart▢

🥰Surrounded by hearts▢

😍Heart-eyes▢

🤩Star-eyes▢

🥳Noisemaker and party-hat▢

🤗Hugging▢

🙃Upside-down▢

🙂Smile▢

☺Blushing, smiling▢

😊Blushing▢

😏Looking off to the side▢

😌Relieved▢

😉Winking▢

🤭Hand over mouth▢

😶Nightmare fuel Mouthless▢

😐Neutral▢

😑-_-▢

😔Pensive▢

😋Licking lips▢

😛Tongue out▢

😝Tongue out, eyes closed▢

😜Tongue out, winking▢

🤪Tongue out, wide-eyed▢

🤔Hmmm▢

🤨Suspicious▢

🧐Monocle▢

🙄Rolling eyes▢

😒Unamused▢

😤Snorting▢

😠Angry▢

😡Angry, red▢

🤬Swearing▢

☹Frown▢

🙁Frown but less▢

😕Confused▢

😟Distraught▢

🥺Pleading▢

😳AWOOGA Flushed▢

😬Yikes▢

🤐Zip▢

🤫Shushing▢

😰Distraught, sweating▢

😧Distraught, shocked▢

😦Distraught, neutral▢

😮Open mouth▢

😯Open mouth, surprised▢

😲Shocked▢

😱Horrified▢

🤯Your head asplode Mind blown▢

😢Crying, single tear▢

😥Crying, less sad▢

😓Sweating▢

😞Dissapointed▢

😖Pained▢

😣Persevering▢

😩Weary▢

😫Tired▢

🤤Drooling▢

😴Sleeping▢

😪Sleeping but different?▢

🌛Left-facing moon▢

🌜Right-facing moon▢

🌚New moon face◯

🌝Full moon face◯

🌞The sun▢

🤢Queasy▢

🤮Vomiting▢

🤧Sneezing▢

🤒Unwell▢

🤕Bandaged▢

🥴Drunk▢

😵Dizzy▢

🥵Hot▢

🥶Cold▢

😷Masked up▢

😇Angel▢

🤠yee haw▢

🤑Money-tongue▢

😎Cool▢

🤓Nerd▢

🤥Lying▢

🤡Clown▢

👻Ghost▢

💩Poop▢

👽Ayy lmao Alien▢

🤖Robot▢

🎃Jack-o-Lantern▢

😈Demon 1▢

👿Demon 2▢

👹Oni◯

👺Tengu◯

☠Skull and crossbones▢

🔥Fire▢

💫Star with trail▢

⭐Star▢

🌟Star with bits▢

✨Stars▢

⚡Lightning◯

💥Explosion◯

💯100△

💢Anime anger symbol◯

💨Steam▢

💦Sweat Droplets▢

💤Zzz▢

🕳Hole▢

🎉Party popper▢

🎊Confetti ball▢

😺😸😹😻😼😽🙀😿😾Literally all the "cat in different emotions" emojis▢

❤🧡💛💚💙💜🖤Literally all the coloured hearts△

♥Heart suit▢

💘Heart with arrow▢

💝Heart with ribbon▢

💖Shiny heart▢

💗Growing heart▢

💓Beating heart▢

💞Swirling hearts▢

💕Two hearts▢

💌Love letter▢

💟Heart in square▢

❣Heart exclamation mark▢

💔Broken heart▢

💋Kiss▢

👥Two silhouettes◯

👤Silhouette◯

🗣Talking silhouette◯

👣Footprints◯

🧠Brain◯

🦠Microbe▢

🦷Tooth◯

🦴Bone◯

💀Skull▢

👀Eyes◯

👁Eye▢

👄Lips◯

👅Tongue◯

👃👂🦶🦵💪👍👎👏🙌👐Every other body part and hand gesture, seriously this isn't even all of them◯

People

Seriously, I don't know why none of the people-category emojis are Fusion-compatible. Let's just move on.◯

Animals and Nature

💐Bunch of flowers▢

🌹Rose▢

🥀Wilted rose◯

🌷Tulip▢

🌺Hibiscus flower◯

🌸Cherry blossom▢

🏵Rosette◯

🌻Sunflower◯

🌼Daisy▢

💮White flower◯

🍂Falling leaves◯

🍁Maple leaf◯

🌾Rice plants◯

🌱Seedling◯

🌿Herb◯

🍃Falling leaves again◯

☘3-leaf clover◯

🍀4-leaf clover◯

🌵Cactus▢

🌴Palm tree◯

🌳Deciduous tree◯

🌲Coniferous tree▢

🏞National park◯

⛰Mountain◯

🌊Wave◯

🌬Wind◯

🌀Tornado symbol◯

🌁Foggy scene◯

🌫Fog▢

🌪Tornado▢

☃Snowman (with snow)▢

⛄Snowman (without snow)▢

❄Snowflake

🏔Mountain with snow◯

🌡Thermometer◯

🌋Volcano◯

🏜Desert◯

🏝Desert island◯

🏖Beach◯

🌅Sunrise/set (water)◯

🌄Sunrise/set (mountains)◯

☀Sun▢

🌤Sun with cloud◯

⛅Sun and cloud◯

🌥Cloud with sun◯

🌦Sun and cloud with rain◯

☁Cloud▢

🌨Snowcloud◯

⛈Stormcloud◯

🌩Thundercloud◯

🌧Raincloud◯

💧Drop◯

☔Umbrella with rain◯

🌈Rainbow▢

✨Sparkles▢

🌙Crescent Moon◯

☄Comet◯

🌠Shooting star▢

🌌Milky Way◯

🌉Bridge◯

🌆City in the evening▢

🌃City at night▢

🌍🌏🌎Earth▢

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘The moon◯

🙈🙉🙊🐵Monkeys, wise or not▢

🦁Lion face▢

🐯Tiger face◯

🐱Cat face▢

🐶Dog face◯

🐺Wolf face◯

🐻Bear face▢

🐨Koala face▢

🐼Panda face▢

🐹Hamster face◯

🐭Mouse face◯

🐰Rabbit face▢

🦊Fox face◯

🦝Raccoon face◯

🐮Cow face◯

🐷Pig face▢

🐽Pig nose▢

🐗Boar head◯

🦓Zebra head◯

🦄Unicorn head▢

🐴Horse head◯

🐸Frog face◯

🐲Dragon head◯

🦎Lizard◯

🐉Dragon◯

🦖T-Rex◯

🦕Diplodocus◯

🐢Turtle▢

🐊Crocodile◯

🐍Snake◯

🐁Mouse▢

🐀Rat◯

🐇Rabbit▢

🐈Cat▢

🐩Poodle◯

🐕Dog◯

🐅Tiger◯

🐆Leopard◯

🐎Horse◯

🐖Pig▢

🐄Cow◯

🐂Bull◯

🐃Water buffalo◯

🐏Ram◯

🐑Sheep◯

🐐Goat▢

🦌Deer▢

🦙Llama▢

🦘Kangaroo◯

🐘Elephant◯

🦏Rhinoceros◯

🦛Hippopotamus◯

🦒Giraffe◯

🐒Monkey▢

🦍Gorilla◯

🐪🐫Camels◯

🐿Squirrel (why does the squirrel of all things have a Unicode symbol?)◯

🦡Badger◯

🦔Hedgehog▢

🦇Bat▢

🐓Cockerel/rooster◯

🐔Chicken◯

🐣🐥🐤Chicks◯

🐦Bird▢

🦉Owl▢

🦅Eagle◯

🦜Parrot◯

🕊Dove◯

🦢Swan◯

🦚Peacock◯

🦃Turkey◯

🦆Duck◯

🐧Penguin◯

🦈Shark◯

🐬Dolphin◯

🐋🐳Whales◯

🐟Fish▢

🐠Tropical fish◯

🐡Pufferfish◯

🦐Prawn◯

🦞Lobster◯

🦀Crab◯

🦑Squid◯

🐙Octopus▢

🦂Scorpion▢

🕷Spider▢

🕸Spiderweb◯

🐚Shell◯

🐌Snail▢

🐜Ant◯

🦗Grasshopper◯

🦟Mosquito◯

🐝Bee▢

🐞Ladybird◯

🦋Butterfly◯

🐛"Bug" yeah sure ok◯

🐾Pawprints◯

Food and Drink

🍓Strawberry▢

🍒Cherry◯

🍎Red apple◯

🍉Watermelon◯

🍑Peach◯

🍊Orange◯

🥭Mango◯

🍍Pineapple▢

🍌Banana◯

🍋Lemon▢

🍈Melon◯

🍏Green apple◯

🍐Pear◯

🥝Kiwi◯

🍇Grapes◯

🥥Coconut◯

🍅Tomato◯

🌶Chili▢

🍄Mushroom◯

🥕Carrot◯

🍠Sweet potato◯

🌽Corn◯

🥦Broccoli◯

🥒Cucumber◯

🥬Lettuce◯

🥑Avocado▢

🍆Aubergine◯

🥔Potato◯

🌰Nut◯

🥜Peanuts◯

🍞Bread▢

🥐Croissant◯

🥖Baguette▢

🥯Bagel◯

🥞Pancakes◯

🍳Frying pan◯

🥚Egg (somehow)◯

🧀Cheese▢

🥓Bacon◯

🥩Meat◯

🍗Chicken leg◯

🍖Anime meat◯

🍔Burger◯

🌭Hotdog▢

🥪Sandwich◯

🥨Pretzel◯

🍟Chips◯

🍕Pizza◯

🌮Taco◯

🌯Wrap◯

🥙Stuffed flatbread◯

🥘Paella◯

🍝Spaghetti◯

🥫Can◯

🥣Bowl◯

🥗Salad◯

🍲Pot of food◯

🍛Curry◯

🍜Noodles◯

🍣Sushi◯

🍤Fried prawn◯

🥡Takeaway container◯

🍚Cooked rice◯

🍱Bento◯

🥟Dumpling◯

🍢Oden◯

🍙Jelly Donut Rice ball◯

🍘Rice cracker◯

🍥Fishcake◯

🍡Dango◯

🥠Fortune cookie◯

🥮Moon cake◯

🍧Shave ice◯

🍨Ice cream◯

🍦See above◯

🥧Pie◯

🍰Cake slice◯

🍮Custard mate what kinda custard have you been eating, this is clearly a créme caramel◯

🎂Birthday cake▢

🧁Cupcake▢

🍭Lollipop◯

🍬Boiled sweet◯

🍫Chocolate◯

🍩Donut◯

🍪Cookie◯

🍯Honey◯

🧂Salt◯

🍿Popcorn◯

🥤Soft drink◯

🥛Milk◯

🍼Baby bottle◯

🍵Green tea◯

☕Coffee▢

🍺Beer◯

🍻Beers, plural◯

🥂Champagne glasses◯

🍾Champagne◯

🍷Red red wine◯

🥃Whiskey◯

🍸Martini◯

🍹Cocktail◯

🍶Sake◯

🥢Chopsticks◯

🍴Knife and fork▢

🥄Spoon◯

🔪Kitchen knife◯

🍽Plate▢

Travel and Places

🛑🎡Everything from the stop sign to Ferris wheel◯

🎠Merry-go-round horse▢

🎪🏕Everything from circus tent to campsite◯

🌇City at sunset yes I'm surprised as you are▢

🛤Train tracks◯

🛣Road◯

🗺Map◯

🗾Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's beautifuul!◯

🌐Globe with meridian lines▢

💺Plane seat◯

🧳Luggage◯

Activities and Events

🎈Balloon▢

🎀Bow◯

🎁Present◯

🎇Sparkler◯

🎆Fireworks◯

🧨Dynamite Firecracker◯

🧧Red envelope◯

🎐Wind chime◯

🎏Fish streamers◯

🎎Japanese dolls (that's what the emoji's called, don't @ me with the actual name for them)◯

🎑Moon viewing ceremony◯

🎍Pine decoration◯

🎋Tanabata◯

🎄Christmas tree▢

🎗Ribbon△

🥇🥈🥉🏅🎖Medals◯

🏆Trophy◯

📣Megaphone◯

🥅Goal◯

⚽⚾🥎🏀🏐🏈🏉🎾🏸🥍🏏🏑🏒SPORTS◯

🥌Curling stone◯

🛷Rosebud Sled◯

🎿Ski◯

⛸Skate◯

⛳Golf-hole◯

🎯Target◯

🏹Bow◯

🥏Frisbee◯

🎣Fishing rod▢

🎽Running shirt◯

🥋Martial arts uniform◯

🥊Boxing glove◯

🎱8-ball◯

🏓Ping-pong◯

🎳Bowling◯

♟Chess◯

🧩Puzzle piece◯

🎮Controller◯

🕹Joystick◯

👾Videogame alien◯

🔫Gun◯

🎲Dice◯

🎰Slot machine◯

🎴Flower playing card◯

🀄Mahjong tile◯

🃏Joker◯

🎩Top hat◯

📷📸Camera◯

🖼Painting◯

🖌Paintbrush◯

🖍Crayon◯

🧵String◯

🧶Wool◯

🎼🎵🎶Music▢

🎷🎺🎸🎻🥁Instruments◯

🎤Mic◯

🎧Headphones▢

🎚🎛🎙📻Assorted audio stuff◯

📺TV◯

📼VHS◯

📹Camcorder◯

📽Projector◯

🎥Film camera◯

🎞Film◯

🎬Clapperboard◯

🎭Comedy and tragedy masks◯

🎫🎟Tickets◯

Objects

📱🧻Everything from smartphone to toilet roll◯

🧸Teddy bear▢

🧷🧢Everything from safety pin to baseball cap◯

👑Crown▢

🎒💍Everything from backpack to ring◯

💎Diamond▢

💄👓Everything from lipstick to glasses◯

🕶Sunglasses▢

🥽📁Everything from goggles to folder◯

🕶Newspaper▢

🗞🔎Everything from rolled-up newspaper to right-pointing magnifying glass◯

🔮Crystal ball▢

🧿🔓Everything from Nazar amulet to open lock◯

Symbols

There are no compatible non-repeated Emoji here.◯

Flags

Aaaaand none here either.◯

Feel free to let me know if I got anything wrong.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BUSINESS

This rule is left over from a time when algorithm meant something like the current Google? Why do patents play so small a role in software? Any hacker who looked at some complex device and realized that with a tiny tweak he could make it run more efficiently. In something that's out there, problems are alarming. It has for me. It may also help them to grasp what's special about your technology. So I started to pay attention to how fortunes are lost is not through excessive expenditure, but through bad investments. Fear the Right Things. Microsoft Word. But there are limits to how well they'll be able to hire better programmers, because they'll attract only those who cared enough to learn it.

4 million a month to the rapacious founder after two years? They just don't want to seem like they had to make concessions. Perhaps a better solution is to assume that anything you've made is far short of what it might have been. If no one else will defend you, you have to publish it, and that's just as bad as the mid seventies. Perhaps a better solution is to look at the problem from the other end. When a company starts fighting over IP, it's a sign they've lost the real battle, for users. Startups usually win by making something so great that people recommend it to their friends.1 You generally apply for a broader patent than you think you'll be granted, and the startups are mostly schleps. True, but I don't think publishers can learn much from software. So while they're often nice guys, they just can't help it.

And not just from the technical community in general; a lot of users. So if you're the least bit inclined to find an excuse to quit, there's always some disaster happening.2 This essay is derived from a talk at the 2006 Startup School. Patent trolls are hard to fight precisely because they create nothing. Economically, the print media and the music labels simply overlooking this opportunity? There's nothing special about physical embodiments of control systems that should make them patentable, and the examiners reply by throwing out some of your claims and granting others. You can't even drive the thing yet, but 83,000 people came to sit in the driver's seat and hold the steering wheel. Technology trains leave the station at regular intervals. Startup acquisitions are usually a lot of mistakes.3 Cross out that final S and you're describing their business model.

Nothing is more likely to buy you than sue you. Experts can implement, but they can't design. Before central governments were powerful enough to enforce order, rich people had private armies. But different things matter to different people, and it's unclear whether anyone could be. If nuclear winter really is here, it may be safer to be a contrarian to be correct, and by that point the innovation that generated it has already happened. The startups we've funded so far are pretty quick, but they don't understand software yet. Most successful startups make that tradeoff unconsciously.4 And for programmers the paradox is even more pronounced: the language to learn, if you love life, don't waste time, because time is what life is made of. We tell the startups we fund not to worry about it, because a toll has to be more than new. If you grow to the point where anyone considers you worth attacking, you're doing well. Viaweb.5 In middle school and high school, what the other kids think of you seems the most important quality is in a startup.

If you had a handful of 8 peanuts, or a shelf of 8 books to choose from, the quantity would definitely seem limited, no matter how obscure you are now. I don't really blame Amazon for applying for the patent, but that has historically been a distinct business from publishing. You can lose quite a lot in the brains department and it won't kill you unless you let them. So I advise fatalism. Both make sense here.6 Every couple days I slip and call it Viaweb.7 Actually, it's more often don't worry about this; worry about that instead. I don't think they hamper innovation much. This is a little depressing.8 VCs should be trying to fund more of. When attacked, you were supposed to fight back, and there is something grand about that. Patent trolls are companies consisting mainly of lawyers whose whole business is to accumulate patents and threaten to sue companies who actually make things.

A mere 15 weeks. The truth is more boring: the state of the economy doesn't matter much either way. Perhaps we can split the difference and say that mobility gives hackers the luxury of being principled. Viaweb, and became Yahoo's when they bought us. I now had to think about something I hadn't had to think about something I hadn't had to think about something I hadn't had to think about something I hadn't had to think about before: how not to lose it. The optimal ways to make money by creating wealth, not by suing people. I was leaving I offered it to him, as I've done countless times before in the same situation. To make money the way software companies do, publishers would have to become software companies, and being publishers gives them no particular head start in that domain. If companies stuck to their initial plans, Microsoft would be selling printed circuit boards. It's more like saying I'm not going to apply for patents just because everyone else does. We tend to say yes to the second, but no smarter than you; they're not as motivated, because Google is not going to go out of business if this one product fails; and even at Google they have a lot of bureaucracy to slow them down.

There are several reasons it pays to get version 1 done fast. 9% of the people who thought during the Bubble all I have to keep repeating.9 It's easy to let the days rush by. So why do so many people complain about software patents stifling innovation, but when one looks closely at the software business I know from experience whether patents encourage or discourage innovation, and the content was what they were selling, and the startups are mostly schleps. But the breakage seems to affect software less than most other fields. You can lose quite a lot in the brains department and it won't kill you. It's ok to be optimistic about what you can see people doing. And one of the earliest sites with enough clout to force customers to log in before they could buy something.10 It seems to me the only limit would be the number of startups is not the criteria they use but that they always tend to focus on the goal of getting lots of users. This principle is very powerful.11 The American way is to make money from it indirectly, or find ways to embody it in things people will pay for information otherwise?

So it is with hacking: the more rewarding some kind of job. Well, founders aren't much better. A copy of Time costs $5 for 58 pages, or 8. Even now I think if you asked hackers to free-associate about Amazon, the one to choose is your growth rate to compensate. Some examples will make this clear. You don't need to be constantly reminding yourself why you shouldn't wait. But while I'd spent a lot of regulations.

Notes

To get all that matters, just as well as problems that have been the plague of 1347; the point of a company. I'm writing about one specific, rather than admitting he preferred to call all our lies lies. College English Departments Come From? Startups are businesses; the point of a place to exchange views.

And the reason this works is that the most abstract ideas, because they were already lots of type II startup, but you get paid much. Back when students focused mainly on getting a job after college, they compete on tailfins. Google will pay the most important section.

If the company.

VCs seem to have balked at this, on the firm's site, they're nice to you; you're too early really means is you're getting the stats for occurrences of foo in the same town, unless the person who would make good angel investors. The best thing for founders; if their kids to them about. In theory you could probably be to write an essay about why something isn't the last place in the case, is deliberately intended to be significantly pickier.

Particularly since many causes of the 800 highest paid executives at large companies. Surely it's better and it will become less common for the average NBA player's salary during the war, tax rates were highest: 14. For example, would increase the size of the latter case, not because it's a proxy for revenue growth.

If near you doesn't mean easy, of course it was wiser for them by the Clayton Antitrust Act in 1914. This explains why such paintings are slightly more interesting than random marks would be more linear if all you have to admit there's no center to walk in with a degree that alarmed his family, that must mean you should prevent your investors from helping you to raise money succeeded, and how good they are to be about 50%. So far the only reason I say in principle is that it's no longer working to help a society generally is to how Henry Ford got started as a single VC investment that began with an online service.

I couldn't believe it, by doing another round that values the company, but half comes from. I say the rate of change in response to what you really need that recipe site or local event aggregator as much income.

The US News list tells us is what the rule of thumb, the reaction might be able to redistribute wealth successfully, because investors don't yet get what they're really saying is they want both. It was revoltingly familiar to slip back into it.

In a typical fund, half the companies that seem promising can usually get enough money from mediocre investors. So by agreeing to uncapped notes. Since most VCs aren't tech guys, the last thing you changed.

There is usually slow growth or excessive spending rather than trying to sell services than a nerdy founder trying to describe what's happening as merely not-too-demanding environment, but they hate hypertension.

The First Industrial Revolution, England was already the richest and most sophisticated city in the few cases where a great founder is being able to redistribute wealth successfully, because spam and legitimate mail volume both have distinct daily patterns.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Anton van Straaten, Robert Morris, Geoff Ralston, and Jessica Livingston for their feedback on these thoughts.

[wendip-week]

What If: Love Potion

The annual Gravity Falls musical-event known as Woodstick had finally come. Tourists, young-and-old (but mostly young), repressed and/or rebellious, would flock to the Oregon town that wasn’t on any map to witness an all day-and-night concert of indie-bands in a hippie-themed get-together. One such band was led by the odd singer and aspiring matchmaker, Love God, who was busy spreading the love as he blew into town.

As Mabel Pines had discovered, the Cupid-motif wasn’t for show; he was a real-life cherub with a specially-made love-potion for greasing the wheels on promising-matches. Ignoring his warning that such a substance isn’t to be used by reckless pre-teens, Mabel Pines stole (or traded, if she were asked) his pink, powdery potion to salvage her attempt to hook up the recently-heartbroken Robbie Valentino and Wendy’s best friend Tambry, whose obsession with her phone seemed to interfere with her social-life in general.

Now it seemed that those two’s problems, and the ones they indirectly caused for the teen-gang they were part of, were over and done with. They were suddenly head-over-heels and apparently had no problems making a public show of their affection. Needless to say, Mabel was pleased with herself.

Not too long after the new couple stepped out of Greasy’s Diner, another familiar boy and girl appeared. The teenage-girl was sporting a hippie-ish look of short-shorts, a fuzzy crop-top, a bandana, and a headband. The preteen boy, on the other hand, was sporting a sleeveless jacket over a v-neck shirt (which Mabel thought was not a good look for him), with a pair of sunglasses. They were Dipper Pines and Wendy Corduroy, Mabel’s brother and friend, respectively. Mabel was still hiding behind the counter as the two approached.

“Hey, Susan,” Wendy greeted one of the diner’s senior-waitresses.

“Well hello, Wendy!” replied Lazy Susan, the waitress with the paralyzed eyelid. “My, don’t you two look snazzy!”

“Thanks,” said Dipper. “We’re going to Woodstick later.”

“How nice! So, what can I get you?”

“Can we get two large shakes to go, please?” Wendy asked. “Usual for us.”

“A chocolate-strawberry and a chocolate peanut-butter. Coming right up.” Susan headed towards the kitchen, ignoring one of the waitresses making out with a male-customer on the other side of the counter.

“Man, this is gonna be sick!” shouted Wendy.

“I know, right?” Dipper said with a grin. He looked over at the small crowd on the other side of the restaurant. “Hey, what’s that?”

Wendy turned her eyes in that direction. “Oh, cool. Looks like Love God made it here.”

“Huh,” Dipper thought out loud. “Looks kind of like Thompson, except louder and with blonde hair.”

Wendy laughed. “Oh-ho! You’re totally right! I’m so gonna remember that one!”

Dipper laughed along with her. It was moments like these that made him really admire her, even if she didn’t feel the same way… Mabel, who was watching them, thought the exchange was cute in an awkward way.

As they chatted, they didn’t notice another new couple spinning across the diner’s floor, only to fall on top of a table where a certain helping of chili-cheese fries lay almost untouched. The carton went flying… only to hit Dipper square in the face, leaving it a mess.

Wendy chuckled at her pal. “Dude, I guess lunch is on you…? Eh, that was lame. Mind if I…?” Wendy reached over and grabbed a few fries off of Dipper’s face before shoving them in her mouth. “Mmmm… Not as warm as I like, but still good.” She smiled at Dipper, only for her face to turn to mild-shock, her eyes widening and taking on a slight pinkish-tint for a moment.

Dipper wiped some of the food off of his face, licking some of it off his mouth. “You’re right about tha- Whoa!” Dipper’s eyes, too, had become like Wendy’s as he got a good look at the girl. He had always thought she was good-looking, but right now there was just something about her… “Uh, sorry if this sounds weird, but did you get a little more attractive all of a sudden?” he asked.

Wendy blushed. “Don’t know, but I’m glad that you think so. I will say this: you look really good in that v-neck.”

“Thanks, Wendy.” Dipper, too, was red in the face with that compliment.

They had been staring at each other for about half-a-minute when Lazy Susan returned with their milkshakes and a towel. They almost hadn’t noticed.

“Thanks, Susan.” Dipper wiped his faced with the damp cloth.

“No problem, dear. Anyway, have these shakes on the house. That little stunt with the fries didn’t need to happen.”

“Wow! Even bigger-thanks,” Wendy said. “Come on, Handsome. Let’s go to Woodstick.”

“Right now?” Dipper asked. “Shouldn’t we meet the guys first?”

“Nah! They won’t mind… probably. Let’s go.” She smiled warmly at the boy she wanted to squeeze like a stuffed-animal.

Well, how could Dipper say no to that face, especially as she batted her eyelashes? Dipper offered his arm, which she gladly took, and the new couple walked out of Greasy’s Diner (right after grabbing their shakes, of course).

Mabel almost couldn’t believe what she had witnessed. And honestly, she was beside herself with joy! She had mildly pro DipperxWendy when her brother first started crushing on the tall redhead and had offered encouragement or assistance here-and-there to help. Of course, her actions had also put the two of them in danger days ago, and inadvertently led to Dipper getting let down gently. This was an unexpected, but not unwelcome, turn of events. She had just delivered on two happy couples in a matter of minutes (and she thought she had outdone herself with Waddles and Gompers).

“Another match made!” Mabel shouted. “Yay, Domino-Effect!”

  //

  Well, Mabel might have been happy with these new developments. That didn’t mean everyone else necessarily agreed. Mabel found that out the hard way. She had just met Nate, Lee, and Thompson in the latter’s garage to let them know they could get going and told them the news about Robbie and Tambry. Their reactions were not what she had been expecting.

“He knew I liked her!” Nate shouted in dismay.

Lee, looking betrayed, confronted his best friend. “You told Robbie but not me?! Not cool!” He slapped Nate upside the head.

“You always make fun of my crushes!” Nate replied angrily.

“Guys! Come on!” Mabel said. “Can’t you just be happy for them? I haven’t even gotten to the other good news!”

“What?” Thompson reluctantly asked.

“My brother and Wendy just got together, too!”

Suddenly, Nate and Lee stopped bickering, looking at Mabel with interest.

“Dr. Funtimes is on a date… with Wendy… at Woodstick?” Lee asked.

“Yep!” Mabel grinned, pulling out a smartphone. “Check out Tambry’s blog. Apparently, both couples are official!”

For a moment everyone was silent. Then panic erupted.

“Oh, crud!” cried Nate.

“This is bad!” Lee shouted.

“What?! What’s going on?!” Mabel asked, now rather afraid.

“Manly Dan follows Tambry on Tweezer! That’s the problem!” Lee yelled.

“If he sees this, he’s going after your brother and his daughter. And he’ll tear apart anything and anyone that gets in his way,” Nate added. He looked at Lee. “Dude; my basement! Now! It’s got a low-ceiling. He’ll never be able to get to us.”

Lee nodded. “Got it. Come on, Thompson!”

“But guys, what about Woodstick?” the group’s punching-bag tried to reason. “I already bought tic-Whoa!” His two friends yanked him by the shirt and hurried out of his garage, leaving a freaked-out Mabel all by herself.

“Oh no…” she thought.

  //

  Dipper and Wendy stood in line for Woodstick for about an hour, but to them, it might as well have been five minutes. They were together, after all. And there was no shortage of cutesy, cliché acts that they could do to pass the time (Wendy was especially fond of Dipper walking his fingers up and down her arm). Once they got inside, they almost immediately had their lips locked and didn’t want to separate. They were like that even approaching one of the food trucks. Fortunately, the man taking their order could still make out the word “churro” amongst the face-sucking. They were also like that eating said churro.

“Oh, Dipper!” Wendy said between smooches. “I so regret ever rejecting you after the Bunker-Incident…! You’re nothing like any of the other guys I’ve dated!”

“Mmm… Wendy!” Dipper replied passionately. “There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more than you! I’d even trade these adventures in Gravity Falls!”

“Dipper!”

“Wendy!”

Robbie and Tambry, who had been nearby, heard everything.

Robbie let out a low-whistle. “Smooth. Corny, but smooth.”

Tambry nodded. “Come on. Let’s leave them to their business. We’ve got selfies to take and people to make uncomfortable with our own overt-affection.”

“Sounds like a plan, babe.”

Robbie and Tambry blissfully walked off to be alone together. Mabel stuck her head out of a bush. She had no time to admire her handywork. She had to save Dipper and Wendy before they get killed. She pulled out a flask with a spray-attachment containing a black fluid. This was an anti-love potion: another something she had just procured from Love God. It would supposedly break the spell she had inadvertently put over those two.

“Just need a clear shot…” she whispered.

She didn’t get a chance. At that instance, she and everyone within a hundred feet of her, heard thunderous stomping and yelling, putting a number of attendees in a panic. Even Dipper and Wendy looked afraid as what could only be described as a tank of a man hailing from a long line of lumberjacks charged into the area in the direction of the couple Mabel was targeting.

“Oh, man! I’m too late…!” Mabel cried out.

Wendy’s father immediately spotted Dipper and Wendy and rushed over to them, and he looked ticked! People around him were smart enough to get out of his way.

“YOU TWO!!!” he shouted upon reaching them.

“Sir, please!” said a security guard who had been following at a reasonable distance. “You need to have a ticket to enter!” Dan didn’t even look at the man. He just picked him by the collar and threw him. He probably landed somewhere in the crowd surrounding the main stage.

The middle-aged giant growled and glared down at the two youths whom he towered over. Even Wendy, who was rather rebellious most of the time, was afraid. She didn’t see this side of father very often, and she tried hard not to.

“M-Mr. Corduroy-” Dipper tried to say.

“SHUT UP! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!”

Wendy spoke up. “Come on, Dad! Don’t-!”

The man turned to his daughter. “WENDY, GO TO THE TRUCK!”

“But Dad-”

“I SAID GO TO THE TRUCK!” he shouted.

Wendy, looking completely dejected, reluctantly complied. “Yes, Dad…” She gave a sorry-look to her new-boyfriend before slowly walking out the gate.

“AND YOU, BOY!” Dan picked up Dipper by the arm (as there wasn’t much of a collar on Dipper’s shirt to grab) and brought him to eye-level. “YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK!” Still holding onto the twelve-year-old, he marched off to find some place relatively-private.

A terrified-Mabel was now going over what she should do now. Things were really starting to escalate.

The girl snapped her fingers. “New plan: damage-control! First, I gotta find Wendy in the parking lot, spray her a little, then find Dipper. Hopefully, Manly Dan will be done with him. I’ll get Dipper and outside of a little trauma, it’ll be like none of this ever happened!”

“Here’s another one: you give me back that anti-love potion and face the consequences,” said a voice from behind Mabel.

Mabel turned to see the sour expression of Love God looming over her. “Uh, hi again, Love God…”

“Save it!” he said firmly. “You’re the type who never learns, aren’t you?”

“No! I mean yes! I mean…! Look, it was an accident, okay? Some of the love-potion got on some people who weren’t supposed to be affected, but maybe were meant for each other… It was all so great, but then got bad real fast and I-!”

“-Am about to make it worse by trying a quick-fix! Am I right?” Mabel looked shocked. Her lip started to quiver as she realized that she couldn’t do anything to fix things.

Love God pinched the bridge of his nose. Love comes in many forms, and compassion is just one of them. As such, he was kind of a sucker for people in trouble. “Listen: if something is meant to be, sometimes it’ll work itself out, alright? Heck, you could say my marriage was a happy-accident.”

“You’re married?” Mabel asked.

“Don’t look so surprised, kid,” Love God muttered. He pulled out a flask with yellowish-orange substance. “Now, I believe I mentioned consequences…”

  //

  A depressed-Wendy stood by her father’s pick-up truck. This was supposed to be a perfect day: first, Woodstick had finally come, so she had been excited about that. Then, all of a sudden, she got the unexpected-bonus of finding her “Mr. Right”; and in the form of her best guy-friend, no less. “Darn it, Dad!” she thought. “As if you don’t make things hard enough at home! Now, I’m single again and I’m not cool with it!”

She looked out in the direction of the festivities (which was a way’s away). She was waiting for her Manly Dan to return and either berate her or take her home. Maybe both, depending on the mood he was in. The man was somewhat old-fashioned and was often critical of who Wendy dated. Typically, she tried to keep it on the downlow. The only reason she got away with dating Robbie was because she had known him since they were kids (and probably because he knew she’d try to dump him before anything too serious had happened).

After a while, she saw a familiar figure in the distance, but it was not who she was expecting. Dipper was walking in her direction, which shocked Wendy quite a bit. She’d have thought he’d have either taken off or gotten walloped. As the young-adventurer approached, Wendy rushed over to meet him.

“Dipper! What happened? Are you okay?” she cried out.

“I think so,” he replied, looking somewhat shocked himself.

“What did my dad do to you? I heard him shout as I left?”

Dipper looked a little nervous. “He, uh, grabbed me, took me to the side, and laid down the law…”

“Oh no…” Wendy said, worried. “Did he, you know, end it? I don’t want this to end, Dipper!”

“Actually, Wendy, he gave me permission to date you,” he said, looking like he almost didn’t believe it.

Wendy looked confused. “What? But that doesn’t sound like him.”

“Well, there are some conditions, though. A lot of them if you don’t mind my saying…”

Wendy looked nonplussed. “Okay, that sounds a little more like him.”

“See, I guess he was a little move when I told him how I feel about you. He said it reminded him of brief time as a wimp, before he started liking your, uh, mom.”

“Mom…” Wendy thought somberly. She sighed. “Go on…”

“So, these conditions… Doors open at all times for starters… No going out together without permission. No going out where no adults are present… No Lookout Point.” Dipper looked nervous as he was saying all of this.

“What?!” Wendy exclaimed. “That sucks!”

“It gets better,” Dipper said. “I have to get a gym-membership. Your dad’s gonna coach me…”

Wendy cringed. “Ooohhh!!! I don’t envy you there.”

“Tell me about it… You know, there’s a whole list of this stuff. I’ve got it written down.” Dipper reached into his pocket and unfolded a rather long piece of paper with an extensive amount of written-conditions.

Wendy looked at what had all been written. “’Dining with my family once a week…’ Ouch. ‘Six inches apart unless you’re displaying affection’?”

“And I gotta do it right.”

“Dang. ‘Showering every day’? Okay, that I can sort of live with. No offense,” she told her dork.

Dipper nodded. “None taken.”

“And you’re on call whenever my dad needs an extra hand logging?”

“Pretty much. Oh, I’m also apparently not allowed to kiss you without his pre-written permission.”

“Drat! And that’s not even half of it, either.”

“Pretty much…” Dipper said, shrugging.

“Dude, this is a lot to ask for. I know I’m willing, but are you sure you want to go through this? I know I’m not really that awesome…”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I’m going to go through it all. To me, you’re more than worth it.”

“Oh, Dipper!” Wendy pulled the boy she fallen in love with tight. He returned the sentiment for a moment, but then reluctantly pushed her away.

“Boundaries, remember?” he said awkwardly.

“Right…” she replied, clearly not too happy about this arrangement. “So, you want to go back to Woodstick?”

“Sure!” Dipper replied enthusiastically. “Oh, and FYI, your dad says we’re allowed one kiss here.”

Wendy gave him a small-smile. “Well, guess we better make it count. We just gotta choose the right moment.”

And so, the young couple enjoyed their date at Woodstick together, being careful not to do anything to provoke Manly Dan (who was still around). They had some nice festival-food. They danced to some of the catchier songs on stage. They laughed at some of the antics of some of the more serious attendees. And when Stan Pines’ malformed, blazing hot-air balloon crashed in the middle of the festivities, the two of them decided that was a perfect time to have that kiss.

Meanwhile, as people gawked at the flaming balloon being put out by the fire-department, Mabel, clad in a cowboy hat and boots, sang a fun country-tune with the local minstrel, Toot-Toot McBumbersnazzle, briefly entertaining them and the firefighters as the flames went out.

Of course, most everyone took off as soon as they saw Stan approach…

  //

  Ten years later, at one of Gravity Falls’ fancy restaurants full of dinner, dancing, and live-music, a married-couple were dancing closely to the nice, slow, jazzy beat. One was a tall, fetching redhead in a shimmering, sleeveless gown. The other was a tall, muscular man in a custom-made tuxedo that probably wouldn’t tear when he flexed. It was easy to tell how blissfully enamored they both were.

“Oh, Mason!” the woman exclaimed. “I’m so glad we decided to stay together that summer!” Her husband gently dipped her low. “You’re so devoted. Show me that list of conditions again!”

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a long, worn out slice of paper with faded-writing. His wife swooned in response.

“You’re never going to let me live that old fantasy down, are you?” he said with a chuckle.

“Not a chance, Mister!” Wendy smiled as he pulled her back to eye-level. “Not a chance.”

[laurenehan]

Best Day of Our Lives

Little did we know, June 29th would be the best day of our lives. Even less did we know that our sweet boy's life would be on the line.

On Thursday, June 28th, we headed to the doctor's office around 11am after I had been awake all night with contractions. They completed a fetal non-stress test to determine the cause. Much to our surprise, they said it seemed I was in labor, but was only a centimeter dilated. They chalked it up to my body practicing for the real-deal, but decided it would be best to do a biophysical screening ultrasound just to be on the safe side.

The ultrasound revealed troubling news; the fluid surrounding our baby was much too plentiful and a section of his bowels were cause for concern. They sent us to a specialist that afternoon for further investigation, but not before asking if anyone in our family has Cystic Fibrosis.

We arrived at the specialist's office and had another ultrasound screening by the technician and then the doctor. He explained that there was a section of our baby's bowel that was not displayed in the screening, meaning there was likely a blockage in his small intestine which was causing the increased fluid levels. He, too, asked if anyone in our family has Cystic Fibrosis. Our hearts dropped when he said our baby is going to need surgery within the first 3 to 4 hours of his life.

How could something so exciting evolve into something so unbelievably terrifying? We have been planning for this for the past 8 months. We've done everything "by the book" and this is the news we get? We picked ourselves up, dried our tears, and asked what we do next.

I stayed hooked up to another monitor for another non-stress test for the next 2 hours as the specialist monitored my contractions. They barely hurt, but continues to come every other minute, lasting a minute each time.

The specialist returned to where we were completing the test. Contrary to his comment prior to hooking me up to the monitor ("You don't appear to be in active labor"), he now stated I was in labor and we need to send you to a place where they have the means to care for this baby after birth." He gave us the option of two hospitals then chose for us because he didn't want my water to break while sitting in traffic on the expressway. He came back about a half hour later and said we were to go to the Labor and Delivery unit and that they would be expecting us.

We drove to the hospital as we called our employer's to let them know we wouldn't be back and called our parents to share the exciting (and terrifying) news.

We arrived at the hospital around 5:30, still not feeling like I was in labor. We found our way to the unit where they quickly hooked me up to IVs and gave a steroid injection for his lung development. The attending physician came into the room about a half hour later. She said she did not plan on delivering this baby this evening; that it could still be a few weeks and that he would be safe ineutero until delivery.

We were not happy with this news. After rushing to the hospital and being told our child would need surgery almost immediately, to being told everything would be fine and we weren't having a baby yet, we were dumbfounded. What do we believe? Hating needles, I started to complain. I would be darned if I was going to sit here after being stuck a few times and not have this baby.

After about 20 minutes of complaining and a change of shift for the nurses around 7pm, I turned to Cameron and said "Either I just peed myself and I am completely embarrassed, or my water broke." We quickly pressed the nurse call button.

In she came, then out she went to get the doctor. They tested the fluid and retracted everything they had said about not being in labor. It was 7:50pm.

Next thing you know, we are talking to the anesthesiologist about epidurals. I got the epidural around 10pm, after 5 different attempts from the anesthesiology team. (Remember I hate needles).

At 10:30, they decided to start Pitocin since I still wasn't dilating past 3cm. Our moms came in the room to visit for a while as we explained the events that had transpired that day. At 11:45, I decided I was going to try to take a nap before gearing up for delivery. At 12, I called the nurse and told her that "I think he's coming now." She decided to check for herself and agreed. She left the room to get the doctor. Around 12:20am, they said I could try to push. The NICU team arrived in the room around 12:30-it was Go-Time.

After 20 minutes of pushing and 6 people's hands pulling him and pushing on me (he was in distress), our baby was born at 12:59am.

Grant Lyons Renehan. 19.5 inches. 5 lbs 2oz.

Full of joy and some relief, we held our breath as we waited for him to cry. He wasn't breathing well. We heard a short, soft cry before they placed him on a CPAP. After about 20 minutes, the nurse placed our baby, wrapped in a blanket, on my chest for a brisk 20 seconds before whisking him away. At 1:27 AM, he was admitted to the NICU. Daddy followed he and the team of doctors upstairs while the doctors cared for me.

He returned and our moms came back in the room to sit with us as we awaited to hear about surgery for our little baby. A doctor returned after a few hours (seemingly a lifetime) and explained the problem just as the specialist had done. They believed the bowel had twisted and inverted upon itself, causing a blockage. He said they were going to complete some tests and he would let us know what they find and the plan of action.

Soon after, I developed a severe headache, high blood pressure, and some other symptoms. The doctor ordered a pain medication intravenously as they drew lab work to test for preeclampsia. She returned a couple hours later and said that I needed to start on a magnesium drip immediately to prevent seizures and that I wouldn't be allowed to leave my bed for 24 hours. I cried. My baby was going to have surgery and I was helpless. But, we did what we had to do.

Still no test results and it was getting to be near noon. Daddy had been up to check on him a few times, as he was permitted to be in the room due to all the testing.

I came off the drip at 1am on 6/30. Eager to see our baby, whom I hadn't seen in 24 hours, Cameron helped get me out of bed and into a wheelchair. It took two hours to be able to sit up and eventually stand. I had to eat before I was allowed to leave the room, so I downed two pretzels and some peanut butter crackers.

Cameron wheeled me upstairs where we sat with Grant at his bedside. We were there only a short time before I had to return to my room due to the pre-eclampsia. We returned to his bedside a few hours later and we finally got to hold him for about a half hour each.

The pediatric surgeon came over to us and explained the possible causes and that surgery was necessary. She said it could be a vulvulus (type of twisted bowel obstruction), but that she wasn't expecting it. Only surgery would be able to tell us for certain.

By 12:50pm, we had signed consent forms to put our 36-hour old baby to sleep while they completed an exploratory surgery. We followed Grant and the anesthesiologists to the OR doors. Again, how could this be happening?

We returned to our room where family took turns visiting to keep us occupied.

At 1:50pm, we received a call stating they were starting.

At 2:50pm, they called again to say they were actually starting to cut and that he was tolerating the anesthesia and was on a ventilator.

At 3:50pm, they called to say he was still undergoing surgery.

At 4:50pm, they called to say everything was going great and they were wrapping up within the hour.

At 5:50pm, the surgeon came to our room and said she had just finished. We tried to absorb everything she said as she drew a diagram of what she had found. They tried laparoscopically, but quickly learned that wouldn't work. The problem was too severe.

She explained that she had found a vulvulus obstruction and that she had to remove 25cm (later learning it was 15cm) of dead small intestine after the blockage. She asked if anyone in our family had Cystic Fibrosis. Again, we said no.

She explained that she had to insert two stomas, as she was not able to resection his bowel at this time. Our baby now has an illeostomy bag.

She said this could be caused by one of three things: Cystic Fibrosis, Hirschprung's disease, or a freak vascular accident ineutero. (I did have a hemorrhage at week 13 and the placenta eventually reattached itself by week 17.) She took some biopsies and we are still awaiting those results. They also sent out blood for his newborn screen and asked that it be expedited. We asked what this meant as far as having our baby home and safe. She told us it would be 3 to 4 weeks minimum until he could come home and at least 6 weeks before they would consider reversing the stomas and putting his bowel back together.

We went up to see him later that evening. Still asleep and still on the ventilator, he looked peaceful. We cried a lot that night and anxiously awaited him to start breathing on his own again.

At 4am on 7/1, he came off the vent. He remained on IVs, and they gained our consent to insert a PICC line since his IVs kept going bad. He also received a blood transfusion after losing 20ml during surgery. We held his hand as much as we could that day after they made several failed attempts to insert the PICC line.

They tried again for the PICC line the next day (7/2) after we got to hold him for 2 hours. Unsuccessful again, they had to call in the surgeon.

Our baby underwent his second surgery which lasted an hour and a half, but the PICC line was in. Pediatric Surgeons are saints who make a fortune.

We sat with him for a little as he recovered-completely zonked out from the pain medication once again-before coming back home.

July 3rd was a great day for all of us. We snuggled him for hours as he stared up at us, wide awake. He sucked on his pacifier, finally beginning to realize hunger. He continued on his TPN and was a champ through a Hep B vaccine (but how could he not be tough at this point?!)

We got to change his diaper several times, take his temperature, and give him a bed bath. Our hearts have never been more full. That day, our baby acted like a healthy baby. There isn't a moment where he hasn't seemed genuinely content.

The surgeon checked on his stomas, which were now producing output. He also continued on his Replogle to suction everything out of his stomach. Once the bile clears in color, we will FINALLY be able to attempt to feed him a small amount (The poor thing has to be starving!)

The nurse practitioner informed us that the results from his genetic screening came back and revealed that he was negative for the top 43 mutations of Cystic Fibrosis, but that his IRT level was still elevated, which could mean he has C.F., but a much rarer form. The only way to know for sure would be done by completing a sweat test, which can't be done until he is 2 to 3 months old and starts producing sweat. So, we will continue to be patient, to pray, and to wait.

Our little boy is a fighter and we will continue to hope for the best life possible for him. He is our greatest Blessing, our most rewarding milestone, and the best thing God could ever give us.

We hope you will continue this journey with us as God continues to Grant Us Strength.

XOXO.

[365goalsfor365days]

2018 Bucket List - August Update (3/365) (Total: 24/365) (I did 0 in July. Oops)

1. Become a Homeowner

2. Get a new mattress

3. Become a First Aid Instructor

4. Become a CPR Instructor

5. Get a position in Labor and Delivery or Postpartum

6. Write a legal will and get it notarized

7. Complete Neonatal Resuscitation Program

8. Obtain a regular drivers license

9. Write a legal advance directive and get it notarized

10. Get a Passport

11. Complete ACLS certification

12. Increase student loans to $350 each/month

13. Get a new couch

14. Get a tattoo

15. Get a permanent position

16. Join the organ donor registry

17. Get a British Bulldog (Winston)

18. Make melted crayon guitar art (JK)

19. Sew a teddy bear

20. Sew a dress

21. Make a quilt

22. Start a scrapbook

23. Crochet a hat

24. Complete grad photobook

25. Complete wedding scrapbook

26. Crochet Christmas stockings

27. Make a Wonder Woman apron (JH)

28. Crochet a hooded owl blanket (MB)

29. Do a cross stitch*

30. Fold 1000 origami stars

31. Make matching Mr & Mrs Scarves*

32. Crochet a black cat blanket with hood (KS)

33. Fold 1000 origami butterflies

34. Make a mobile of 1000 origami cranes

35. Design my own deck of cards

36. Complete wedding photobook

37. Make homemade lip balm

38. Make house key print tree ornament

39. Make carved wood or burned wood personalized wine box (ME)

40. Swap customized keychains with Daniel

41. Sew matching aprons for me & Daniel

42. Make a Feminist cross stitch quilt (CB)

43. Make Lion King cross stitch (JK)

44. Make wine glass winter scene candle holders

45. Make a Little Mermaid Apron (JM)

46. Make carved or burned wood “It’s Always Tea Time” Mad Hatter Tea Box

47. Crochet a Spiderman blanket (LS)

48. Crochet a legend of Zelda blanket (CW)

49. Make jazz guitar print art (SS)

50. Adopt an otter

51. Answer 50 correct answers in a row on Freerice.com

52. Participate in a charity walk/run

53. Donate $50 to the Edmonton Humane Society

54. Run a Hogwarts Running Club race

55. Donate $50 to the Canadian Mental Health Association

56. Donate 5 Items to Ronald McDonald house

57. Donate 5 Items to the Terra Centre

58. Adopt a polar bear

59. Make “Curious Confection” Disney drink

60. Make “Sirens Song” Disney drink

61. Make “Glass Slipper” Disney drink

62. Make “Belle of the Ball” Disney drink

63. Make herb butter

64. Make homemade fried chicken

65. Make caramel apple jello shots

66. Make macarons

67. Make homemade California rolls

68. Make all recipes in Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook

69. Make candy apples

70. Bake a baked Alaska

71. Cook lobster

72. Make Tiramisu

73. Bake Boston cream pie

74. Make homemade basil pesto

75. Roast pumpkin seeds

76. Finish my red recipe book

77. Bake lemony blueberry cheesecake bars

78. Bake cream cheese, banana & coconut pain perdu

79. Make Sims Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich (in real life)

80. Make Mexican tostadas

81. Make 365 new recipes

82. Cook every single recipe in a cook book

83. Make all recipes from Swap & Drop Diet Cookbook

84. Do a chopped competition with Daniel

85. Make fruit sushi

86. Make “Sleep Cycle” Disney drink

87. Make “False King” Disney drink

88. Make “Ohana Colada” Disney drink

89. Make all recipes from Cooking Light Global Kitchen cookbook

90. Make Sims Porcini Risotto (in real life)

91. Make Crepes

92. Go to Dinner Theatre

93. Eat at Café Bicyclette

94. Have lunch at Ampersand 27

95. Eat at Café Linnea

96. Eat at Earnest’s at NAIT

97. Go on a gelato date

98. Have dessert from Italian Bakery Edmonton

99. Eat at the 3 Bananas Café

100. Eat at Dorinku

101. Try a Po’ Boy

102. Eat deep fried ice cream

103. Eat at Have Mercy

104. Have lunch at the Harvest Room at Hotel MacDonald

105. Have dinner on the Edmonton Queen Riverboat

106. Try La Poutine

107. Have breakfast at Under the High Wheel

108. Have dessert at Block 1912

109. Eat at Uccellino

110. Go out for hungover breakfast the morning after a party with friends

111. Have a meal at Bistro Praha

112. Read “Water for Elephants” by Sara Gruen and watch the movie

113. Read Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini and watch the movie

114. Read “It” by Stephen King and watch the movie

115. Read “Labor Day” by Eleanor Henderson

116. Read “Three Day Road” by Joseph Boyden

117. Read “The Girl on the Train“ by Paula Hawkins & Watch the movie

118. Read “They Left Us Everything”

119. Read “The House Girl” by Tara Conklin

120. Read all 36 books from the Dear Canada series

121. Read “My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward: A Memoir” by Mark Lukach

122. Read all 54 books from the fictional Magic Tree House series

123. Read “13 Reasons Why” by Jay Asher and watch the series

124. Read “Dolores Claiborne” by Stephen King

125. Read “We Need To Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver

126. Read all 51 books from the Adventures of the Bailey School Kids series

127. Read “Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers” by Mary Roach

128. Read “The Shift: One Nurse, Twelve Hours, Four Patients Lives” by Theresa Brown

129. Read “Working Stiff: by Judy Melinek and TJ Mitchell

130. Read “Every Patient Tells a Story” by Lisa Sanders

131. Read “The Night Shift” by Dr Brian Goldman

132. Read “Wenjack” by Joseph Boyden

133. Read “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat” by Oliver Sacks

134. Read “Weird Edmonton” by Mark Kozub

135. Read “11/22/63” by Stephen King

136. Re-read Lemony Snickets A Series of Unfortunate Events series

137. Read all 20 Royal Diaries books

138. Read all the books from the Dear America series

139. Read “End of Watch” by Stephen King

140. Read “I, Ripper” by Stephen Hunter

141. Read “Happyface” by Stephen Edmond

142. Read “The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian” by Sherman Alexie

143. Read “The Mighty Miss Malone” by Curtis

144. Read “In The Unlikely Event” by Judy Blume

145. Read “Church of Marvels” by Leslie Parry

146. Read “My Secret Sister” by Helen Edwards

147. Read “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” by Annie Barrows

148. Read “The Book of Negroes” by Lawrence Hill & watch the movie

149. Read “The Real Doctor Will See You Shortly” by Matt McCarthy

150. Read “Nerd Do Well” by Simon Pegg

151. Read “Wild” by Cheryl Strayd and watch the movie

152. Read “I Am Malala” by Malala Yousafzai

153. Read “The Book Thief’ by Markus Zusak and watch the movie

154. Read “Welcome to Nightvale” by Joseph Fink and listen to all podcasts

155. Read “1984” by George Orwell

156. Read “Nightmares!” by Jason Segal and Kirsten Miller

157. Read “The Bazaar of Bad Dreams” by Stephen King

158. Read “Finders Keepers” by Stephen King

159. Read the Little Old Lady Series

160. Read “Mr Mercedes” by Stephen King

161. Read “Left Neglected” by Lisa Genova

162. Read “Doctor Sleep” by Stephen King

163. Read “Bringing Adam Home” by Les Standiford

164. Read “Carry On” by Rainbow Rowell

165. Read “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande

166. Read “A Spy Amongst Friends” by Ben Macintyre

167. Read “Still Alice” by Lisa Genova and watch the movie

168. Read “Five Days at Memorial” by Sheri Fink

169. Read “Canada” by Mike Myers

170. Read “Behind the Beautiful Forevers” by Katherine Boo

171. Read “Quiet: The Power of Introverts” by Susan Cain

172. Read “The Haunting of Sunshine Girl” by Paige Mckenzie

173. Read “Dirty Jobs” and “Second Hand Souls” by Christopher Moore

174. Read “My Sister’s Keeper” and watch the movie

175. Read “Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea” by April Genevive Tucholke

176. Read “Four Past Midnight” by Stephen King

177. Read “Hope: A Memoir of Survival in Cleveland” by Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus

178. Read “Anya’s Ghost” by Vera Brosgol

179. Read “Trauma”

180. Read “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” by JK Rowling and watch the movie

181. Read “This is That Travel Guide to Canada”

182. Read “The Trouble with Goats and Sheep” by Joanne Cannor

183. Read “Tough Shit” by Kevin Smith

184. Read “Tales of Beedle the Bard” by JK Rowling

185. Read “The Trouble with Alice” by Olivia Glazebrook

186. Read “The 100 Mile Diet: A Year of Local Eating” by Alisa Smith & JB MacKinnon

187. Read “At Home in Old Strathcona” by Gwen McGregor Molnar

188. Read “The Tumbling Turner Sisters” by J. Fay

189. Read “The Dangerous Animals Club” by S. Tobolowsky

190. Read “The Book of Speculation” by E. Swyler

191. Read “The Nurses” by Alexandra Robbins

192. Read “Shine Shine Shine” by Lydia Netzer

193. Read “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel and watch the movie

194. Read the EC Wells series

195. Read “Scrappy Little Nobody” by Anna Kendrick

196. Read “The First Phone Call From Heaven” by Mitch Albom

197. Read “Hope’s Boy” by Andrew Bridge

198. Read “The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August” by Claire North

199. Read “The House At the End of Hope Street” by Menna Van Praag

200. Read “Home” by Harlan Coben

201. Read “The Devil in the White City“ by Erik Lawson

202. Tour the Chicago Connection tunnel in Moose Jaw

203. Tour the Passage to Fortune tunnel in Moose Jaw

204. Visit the Dead Sea of Saskatchewan (Little Manitou)

205. Tour the Royal Canadian Mint

206. Visit the Eskimo Museum in Churchill

207. Visit Prime Berth Fishing Museum in Twillingate

208. Go to the Barbie Expo in Montreal

209. Visit the Acadian Historical Village in Caraquet

210. Visit the Tokyo National Museum

211. Visit the Owl Café in Akhabara

212. Go to the Tokyo Studio Ghibli Museum

213. Visit the Manitoba Museum in Winnipeg

214. Tour the Royal Saskatchewan Museum in Regina

215. See a Sunset Retreat Ceremony at the RCMP Heritage Center in Regina

216. Visit the Canadian Museum of History in Quebec

217. See Head-Smash-In Buffalo Jump in Fort McLeod

218. Visit the Royal BC Museum in Victoria

219. See Niagra Falls

220. Visit the Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington

221. Visit Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada in Toronto

222. Visit the Royal Ontario Museum

223. Do the Underground Tour at Bell Island’s Mine Museum

224. Visit the Western Development Museum in Saskatoon

225. Visit Leo Mol Sculpture Garden in Winnipeg

226. Visit Squamish Lil’Wat Cultural Centre in Whistler

227. Visit the Canadian Museum of Immigration at Pier 21 in Halifax

228. Visit the Canadian Museum for Human Rights

229. Visit the Canadian Museum of Nature in Ottawa

230. Visit the Fort George National Historic Site of Canada at Niagara-on-the-Lake

231. Go to Science North in Sudbury

232. Take a photo with the Hachiko statue in Tokyo

233. Do a “Disney Love” photoshoot with Daniel

234. Grow a carrot plant

235. Go to new Royal Alberta Museum

236. Catch all First Gen Pokemon Go Pokemon

237. Catch all Second Gen Pokemon Go Pokemon

238. Catch all Third Gen Pokemon Go Pokemon

239. Successfully do winged eyeliner

240. Have a yard sale

241. Build a Bear at Build a Bear

242. Go scuba diving

243. Go rock climbing

244. Go through the Edmonton Corn Maze

245. Attend a Superstore cooking class

246. Bowl a 100+ game

247. Catch a fish

248. Dye my hair blonde

249. Go ice fishing

250. Tour Candy Cane Lane

251. Find 5 Geocaches

252. Go paintballing

253. See the stars at an observatory

254. Go on a double date

255. Can something with mom

256. Play through Fran Bow

257. Visit Dr Woods House Museum

258. Grow parsley

259. Go on a bike ride around Telford Lake

260. Solve a Rubik’s cube

261. Grow oregano

262. Pick berries from a berry farm

263. Host a holiday dinner for family

264. Win something

265. Skip rocks with Daniel

266. Do yoga outside at sunrise

267. Go horseback riding

268. Walk across a suspension bridge

269. Learn how to edit photographs

270. Get a hot stone massage

271. Pose for a nude painting

272. Visit Grandmas grave

273. Be in a boudoir photoshoot

274. Get ears pierced again

275. Learn Under the Sea on xylophone

276. Learn calligraphy

277. Go roller blading

278. See a moose in the wild

279. Learn Over the Rainbow on ukulele

280. Pick a pumpkin at Upick

281. Build a fire

282. Complete Wreck this Journal

283. Build a sandcastle

284. Build a snowman

285. Complete a 1000 Piece Puzzle

286. Get all Pokemon Go medals

287. Try a sensory deprivation chamber

288. Sew all badges on my camp blanket

289. Sign a petition

290. Camp at Elk Island Provincial Park

291. Go to Sea Life Caverns at WEM

292. Go apple picking

293. Go hostelling in Nordegg

294. Photograph a robin

295. Photograph a blue jay

296. Go to the ballet

297. Go to a hot spring in winter

298. Plant a Fairy Garden

299. Fully decorate apartment for Halloween

300. Go to another TWOS Dark Matters Night

301. Go to the Muttart Conservatory

302. Play through Beyond Two Souls

303. Try an alcohol shot

304. Go to the John Walters museum

305. Body paint with Daniel

306. Take a class at the Greenland Garden Center

307. Go Canoeing

308. Play a game of chess

309. Play laser tag

310. Have a girls night

311. Go to a drop in class at the Art Gallery of Alberta

312. Send out Christmas cards

313. Reach level 40 of Pokemon Go

314. Visit the Reynolds-Alberta Museum

315. Go on a Canmore Cave Tour

316. Get a couples massage

317. Have a game night at Table Top Café

318. See a live show at the Roxy

319. Shoot a Gun

320. Juggle 3 balls

321. Pick a door lock

322. See a Rapidfire Theater show

323. Dance on my balcony with Daniel as it gently rains

324. Go to a driving range

325. Write a love letter

326. Go to a U of A varsity game

327. Complete Pocket Posh Logic book

328. Go to a hockey game

329. Go to a football game

330. See the Nutcracker Ballet

331. Play at Breakout Edmonton

332. Complete a coloring book

333. Go peddle boating

334. Visit the Alberta Aviation Museum

335. Visit the Jurassic Forest

336. Play slots at a casino

337. Go skating

338. Try to escape The Cabin at Escape City

339. Complete my Sims challenge

340. Get a BBQ and have a BBQ with friends

341. Tube down the Pembina river

342. Get a facial

343. Take a class at Purdy’s Chocolates

344. Hold Crow Pose (Yoga)

345. Complete 12 months to a healthier you challenge

346. Fit size 6 pants

347. Do 100 consecutive push ups

348. Hold Kala Bhairavasana (yoga)

349. Hold Sirsasana (Yoga)

350. Do 100 Consecutive Sit Ups

351. Reach goal weight of 120 lb

352. Walk 20 000 steps for 3 consecutive days

353. Attend a drop in spin class

354. Attend a drop in yoga class

355. Try Hot Yoga

356. See a movie and have dinner at the VIP Theatre

357. Watch the top 100 movies of 2017

358. See a movie at Princess Theatre

359. Go to the Edmonton Film Fest

360. Watch an outdoor movie

361. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Musical & Art Movies

362. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Movies of 2016

363. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Horror Movies

364. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Documentary films

365. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Comedy Movies

[theholypeanut]

Tendou Satori x Love at First Sight

Peanut’s Wheel of Fortune Event

Cw: pure fluff, Tendou being a silly bean, gn!reader, reader drinks strawberry milk, 900 words

Plot: Tendou didn’t expect that he will meet the love of his life next to a vending machine

Event Masterlist

Tendou Satori never prioritized romance in his life.

Why would he really? He finally had a fulfilling life: real friends, a passion he was excelling at, an environment he could thrive in. Finally, he wasn’t a creep, an outcast: he belonged. 

However, he would lie if he said he never thought about it. Of course, he did! He is just a teenager after all. But deep down, he is also a romantic. Only Ushijima knew that Satori reads all types of shoujo mangas and sometimes jokes that „if I won't have a love like that, I don’t want it!” (except the ones with miscommunication trope, these ones can go to hell).

He did not expect that this day, dull, windy, boring Wednesday would be the day he’d finally fall hard.

„Do you want something from the vending machine?” Tendou asked Ushijima during the break in between classes. 

„No need” Wakatoshi answered, making Tendou go all of the distance on his own. It's not as if he minded, he liked this alone stroll to his favorite vending machine, the only one in the school that sells the best brand of strawberry milk. 

When he arrived, the area was surprisingly empty, with only two or three people around. 

Tendou looked into his pockets to find any remaining coins, that he usually kept exactly for this part of his day. As he took a coin into his slim fingers, he saw a hand already putting their coin into the machine. 

„Sorry” you two said at the same time, standing close to each other. You smiled awkwardly feeling a little embarrassed that you didn’t notice someone. But Tendou? He was gone the second your eyes met. 

He felt the air leaving his lungs and his pupils widened. It felt like he was struck by lightning. He was just speechless. 

As you didn’t get any verbal reaction, you just continued to put the rest of the coins to the machine and you pressed the button. The red-haired guy looked at the machine and felt like he got transferred into a shoujo manga, and he was the protagonist. 

„Do you like strawberry milk?” He asked breaking the silence. You took the drink out of the machine and looked at him surprised. 

„Y-yeah. This one is my favourite, this is probably the best brand…” he couldn’t believe what he just heard. You looked at the machine and instantly panicked. 

„Oh no, you wanted this milk too? I think I just took the last one” you nervously scanned all of the options looking if there was any other strawberry milk left, as the spot from where you took yours was empty. „Oh no, I’m so sorry!”

Normally, Tendou Satori would sigh, shrug, and say that’s how it's supposed to be, but not this time. This was not a coincidence. This time, it was like all of the planets aligned for him. He looked at you with a smug at his face and then sighed dramatically. 

„This is actually my favorite drink of all time” he said with such a dramatic undertone. „I always have it before lunch, and today I have such an important match…. And I don’t know how I will handle it without my good luck charm, my routine” he sighed again and put the back of his hand on his forehead in the most dramatic position known to man. You really hoped he was joking, otherwise, you will start sweating nervously. You handed him the milk. 

„It's fine, I don’t need it that much…”

„No” he said and stopped your hand. His finger brushed your palm just for a second, and somehow still you felt a shiver going down your spine. „You got it, it's yours. However” he smirked. „How about you go on a date with me instead?”

You blinked twice, processing what you just heard. 

„…I’m sorry, what?” You couldn’t hide your surprise from him. But instead of getting all nervous and backing away from this bold request, he just sent you the warmest and brightest smile you ever saw. 

„Let's go out somewhere. We can get strawberry milk in a park, or go to the cinema: whatever you’d like.”

You felt your face getting warm and you crumbled under his gaze. You never expected to be asked out, especially not like this. 

„…Okay” you mumbled under your breath, hoping he wouldn’t notice your blush. You looked back at him, only to see an expression of a child getting their dream gift on Christmas all over his face. He took out his phone and handed it to you. 

Still in shock over what is happening right now, you put your number there, to an unknown guy from your school, and when you handed it back with your contact information, you noticed him repeating your name quietly as he was trying to engrave it in his memory. After that, he looked at you with the most adorable smile you saw. 

„I’m Satori Tendou” he introduced himself. You couldn’t help but think about how that’s you should start this encounter, not by agreeing on a date first. „And I think we will see each other way more often now” 

He walked away, leaving you with the feeling that he was right. 

At least you really hoped he was. 

This story is an Easter egg for people who read my old haikyuu headcanons

Bonus: (cw: boomer Ushijima)

[dipulb3]

The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 Coupe is more versatile than you might think

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/the-2021-mercedes-amg-gle63-coupe-is-more-versatile-than-you-might-think-2/

The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 Coupe is more versatile than you might think

That tapered roofline adds style but doesn’t take away too much cargo space.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 S Coupe’s big wheels, tapering roofline and shapely backside are sure to grab your attention. This is an undeniably trendy, high-style vehicle. But what lurks behind this swoopy SUV’s retro-inspired Panamericana grille is the real star of the show.

Like

Comfortable, classy interior

World-class twin-turbo V8

Effortless acceleration

Don’t Like

Annoyingly wide door sills

MBUX complexities

Overeager brakes

Nestled between the GLE63’s front fenders is a 4.0-liter twin-turbocharged V8. Hand assembled by the craftspeople in Affalterbach, Germany, this jewel of an engine is smoother than creamy peanut butter, delivering a stomping 603 horsepower and 627 pound-feet of torque, more than enough to put the hurt on rivals like the Audi RS Q8 and BMW X6 M. That’s also enough sauce to rocket this coupe-ish crossover to 60 mph in just 3.7 seconds and onward to a terminal velocity of 174 mph, though curiously, the GLE63 S doesn’t feel as quick as the numbers suggest. This Mercedes is so refined and quiet you’re almost always going at least 10 mph faster than you think, even when the active exhaust system is uncorked.

Helping deliver that performance is the automaker’s EQ-Boost 48-volt mild-hybrid system, which provides up to 21 horsepower and 184 lb-ft of torque. EQ-Boost also smooths out gearchanges and aids with regenerative braking. The system’s integrated starter-generator is sandwiched between the engine and nine-speed transmission, where it takes up little space. The whole shebang is pretty much invisible; the only time you’re really aware of EQ-Boost is during engine stop-start events, which are some of the smoothest in the business.

That transmission changes gears with sports-car immediacy and is very responsive to requests from the paddle shifters. Still, its performance can be somewhat irregular, particularly at low speeds where there’s often a slight disconnect between the accelerator pedal and what the gearbox is doing. The vehicle’s overeager brakes are also a bit bothersome. With the front rotors measuring nearly 16 inches in diameter, their stopping power is undeniable, they’re just a bit too touchy in everyday driving.

Active Roll Stabilization along with adaptive damping, an air suspension and even active engine mounts are new additions for 2021, and together they keep the GLE63 S Coupe’s body flatter than Florida while tackling corners. The suspension does a commendable job delivering a good ride, though I’d like to feel a little more delineation between the various settings. Comfort is firm yet nicely isolated, but cranking it up to Sport or Sport Plus doesn’t make the ride all that much stiffer. You’ll feel road imperfections to be sure, but they’re never pounding.

This engine is a real honey.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

The GLE63 S Coupe is well balanced and feels luxury-car refined even in its starchiest settings. Unfortunately, the steering is forgettably ordinary. It’s light and a bit imprecise, which is no help in a vehicle that doesn’t track very well. This Mercedes tends to wander, even on smooth, straight pavement, which means you have to make course corrections to avoid kissing the lines and irritating the lane-keeping system. Roadshow social media editor Daniel Golson made the same comment in his review of the similar but less potent 2021 GLE53 Coupe, which also rolled on staggered-width AMG wheels, though the ones on this example are 1 inch smaller in diameter, clocking in at just 21 inches.

Given its emphasis on sportiness, you can’t expect great fuel economy from this Mercedes. Accordingly, it stickers at 15 miles per gallon city and 19 mpg highway, however, in pretty heavy-footed driving, I’ve managed to average around 18.4, a good bit better than the combined rating of 17 mpg.

As a top-shelf luxury vehicle, this Mercedes comes with a broad complement of driver-assistance tech. Adaptive LED headlamps with automatic high beams, active parking assist and blind-spot monitoring are all standard equipment. The $1,950 Driver Assistance Package Plus throws features like active lane-change assist, rear cross-traffic alert, traffic-sign recognition and adaptive cruise control with lane centering into the mix, and that last item works phenomenally well. The GLE63 S Coupe’s adaptive cruise control is super smooth and more situationally aware than an undercover police officer. It seemingly always knows what’s going on and how to respond, plus the lane-centering feature is one of the best I’ve ever experienced, making the vehicle track practically like a monorail.

A couple things could be improved, but this interior is a pleasant place no matter which seat you’re in.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

This Mercedes-AMG’s interior is a lovely place, rife with premium leathers, laser-straight stitching and no shortage of amenities including standard heated and ventilated front seats, which are as comfortable as a La-Z-Boy recliner. A Burmester sound system is included, too, as is wireless phone charging and embedded navigation. Unfortunately, some of the GLE63 S Coupe’s interior elements aren’t quite as nice as they should be for a vehicle that starts at $117,000. Nothing is insultingly low-rent, but the climate controls, gear-selector and turn-signal stalks as well as some of the secondary switches just don’t feel six-figure sturdy.

When it comes to interior tech, you get a pair of 12.3-inch displays mounted in a single housing that runs across most of the dashboard. One of these screens serves as a reconfigurable digital instrument cluster, the other handles infotainment duties. For better or worse, the familiar MBUX multimedia array is how you interact with many of the vehicle’s features. This system is both pretty and performant, though it’s not my favorite. It offers way too much functionality and feels like it requires a keyboard and mouse to properly use, which is not what you want while driving. Fortunately, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto are standard, and Mercedes has not switched to hyper-annoying touch-sensitive control pads on the steering wheel like it has on some of its other vehicles, including the E450 All Terrain — at least, not yet.

The Mercedes-AMG GLE63 S Coupe is a lot like a batch of dough that didn’t rise. Next to the conventional GLE SUV, its roof is noticeably deflated. That tapering top adds visual pizzazz, though, it eats into cargo space and rear-seat headroom, but these deficits don’t ruin the vehicle, not by any stretch. Second-row noggin space is reduced by 1.8 inches, but there’s still plenty, even for taller adults. Cargo space behind the aft bench clocks in at 27.5 cubic feet, which swells to 63.2 cubes when you fold the rear backrest down. In comparison, the GLE63 S serves up 39.3 and 74.9 cubic feet, respectively. Judging between these two utility vehicles is like comparing pitas to baguettes, breads that are clearly different form factors but both are delicious.

Unless you need as much cargo space as possible, the GLE63 S Coupe is a perfectly versatile utility vehicle.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 S Coupe’s base price is just about $117,000, or about 40 grand more than the less potent GLE53 Coupe. As for this example, it checks out for $131,430 including requisite delivery fees, which total $1,050. A few options pad the bottom line, things like that $1,950 driver-assistance package, a head-up display ($1,100), the fancier Burmester High-End Surround Sound System ($4,550) and the Warmth and Comfort Package ($1,050), to name a few.

With thundering performance, a comfortable and refined cabin, plus plenty of style both inside and out, the coupe-ified crossover is well-rounded and surprisingly livable. If you value style over capaciousness get the GLE63 S Coupe, but if versatility matters more, stick with the standard GLE SUV. Either way, you can’t go wrong.

[undergroundbandimagines]

7 Lessons from Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” That Will Get You Through a Divorce

7 Lessons from Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” to Get You Through a Divorce

Recovering from a marriage to a narcissist adds an added layer of complexity

By dmitry_islentev for Shutterstock

Recovering from a divorce after a 20-year marriage is never an easy feat. Therapist Susan Pease Gadua in Psychology Today likens the undoing of a marriage to, “Trying to disentangle two trees that have grown next to each other for years. The more intertwined the root systems are, the longer it will take for the trees to go their separate ways.”

Recovering from a marriage to a narcissist adds an added layer of complexity and a few extra hurdles to get over before you can feel whole again. And divorcing a narcissist is not for the faint of heart. Yes, this too (like a gallstone) shall pass, but first, it’s going to hurt. And you’re going to need to strategize.

If you’re like me, you may not have unpacked this emotional baggage until after the marriage, and you may not have a full understanding that you are, in fact, married/separating from a narcissist. All you know is you’ve been lied to, lied about, and he is accusing you of his actual behavior, which is maddening.

According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, someone who is an expert in the field of narcissism, “narcissistic” is an adjective, it’s not a diagnosis. It’s a descriptive term that usually signifies a personality pattern. It is characterized by patterns like inconsistent or superficial empathy, entitlement, grandiosity, arrogance, superficiality, chronic validation-seeking, hypersensitivity, a propensity towards rage, especially when the person is frustrated or disappointed, and then incapacity to deal with frustration and disappointment.

The first thing to understand, according to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, is that narcissists love to win. “It motivates everything they do. They actually believe you can win in relationships, so it’s a big thing to them. They really love the idea that their partner will get destroyed after the relationship ends, which is why narcissistic divorces can be very expensive.”

Now, you may be a kind and gentle, loving soul. The kind of person who scoops up spiders to let them live, just not in your house. (OK, I am not that person). The point is, it’s time to grow a pair. You don’t have to sink to their level — instead, you must rise above it.

You might be wondering what a Chinese general, military strategist and reputed author born in 544 BC could know about egomaniacal showrunners, forensic accounting, and family court, but I find that Sun Tzu’s profound wisdom of outsmarting your enemy, plotting several moves ahead, and getting inside the head of your opponent are time-tested winning strategies.

Even if you have to stomach an expensive divorce, you will be better prepared going in with Sun Tzu’s knowledge. And hopefully, with fewer surprises, it will be a shorter ordeal.

The Art of War lesson #1

“Move swift as the Wind and closely-formed as the Wood. Attack like the Fire and be still as the Mountain.”

Translation: you cannot mediate. You may have a loving friend or relative advise you to mediate because it is the kinder and gentler route, the route that saves money. The problem with this is that successful mediation requires complete disclosure, laying everything on the table and there can be no power imbalance. If you are married to someone who lies and cheats, what makes you think you will have fairness and transparency in mediation?

This is a waste of everyone’s time and money. I still receive polite bills from Geraldine, the kind woman who did her level best for two years to try to end this marriage before she pulled me aside at our fifth mediation and said, “You cannot mediate with this person.”

File for divorce. It’s the only way.

Lesson #2

“Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.”

If he is sneaky, guess what? He will try things in court that are dirty and sneaky. He will hire sleazy lawyers that specialize in high-end bullshit. Remember, you are that closely-formed wood. Know yourself, and don’t be rattled by his bullshit tactics.

Case in point: One of my husband’s strategies was to convince the court I was a dreadful parent who drove the family to financial ruin. But, like the Peanuts characters listening to an adult, what the state of California hears is, “wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.” It still comes down to: what is your shit worth? How much does this guy make? I put my career on hold to raise our children and create a lovely home. Alimony, child support, bing, bang, boom.

In his arrogance, the ex and his lawyers announced that since I had driven the family to financial ruin he would be keeping the pension. The only problem with that is — the law! We didn’t really need to reinvent the wheel, yet here we were, reinventing the wheel, to the tune of a six-figure legal fee.

Lesson #3 (a two-parter)

“It is only the enlightened ruler and the wise general who will use the highest intelligence of the army for the purposes of spying, and thereby they achieve great results.”

“Foreknowledge cannot be gotten from ghosts and spirits, cannot be had by analogy, cannot be found out by calculation. It must be obtained from people, people who know the conditions of the enemy.”

Subpoena folks. Have your team seek records from reliable sources to get the actual factual documents you need. Subpoena people who have his documents and his contracts. Do a forensic accounting. Check out his girlfriend’s Instagram. It may be quite enlightening. Even better if she has a blog detailing the timeline with everything you need to know.

Lesson#4

“Conceal your dispositions, and your condition will remain secret, which leads to victory; show your dispositions, and your condition will become patent, which leads to defeat.”

If you’re feeling a little bamboozled and you’ve just gotten out of a marriage in which you were emotionally manipulated for years, you may not be used to standing your ground and remaining poker-faced.

What the narcissist desperately needs is attention and he/she needs to know that he matters in your life. When you resist those crazy calls, emails, and texts and simply don’t engage, it is maddening for them. Dr. Durvasula says, “You win when you don’t give them the fight because the fight is what they want.”

I say, not mattering is the biggest wound the narcissist can receive from the person who used to hold his hand in empathy and believe the crap he shoveled. It throws them off their center. It also enrages them, but your secret weapon is not giving a shit anymore. It helps unnerve them, and more importantly, it helps you lay the ground for getting back to yourself, remembering how strong you can be, and finding your way out so you can move on.

Lesson #5

“It is the unemotional, reserved, calm, detached warrior who wins, not the hothead seeking vengeance and not the ambitious seeker of fortune.”

You may want to seek revenge on your ex for any number of grievances, but consider whether going for the jugular in court is just something you could work out (much less expensively and without involving law enforcement) in therapy. Dragging things out will drain both of you, both emotionally and financially. It’s time to break free and leave emotion out of the proceedings.

Lesson #6

“Anger may in time change to gladness; vexation may be succeeded by content. But a kingdom that has once been destroyed can never come again into being; nor can the dead ever be brought back to life.”

No, we won’t be having Thanksgiving together, thanks.

My ex-husband is mortally offended when he is not invited to Thanksgiving. At my apartment. With my family, who hates him. And yet he engages my younger daughter in this fantasy that, gee, it would be so nice if we could all do things as a family if only Mom wasn’t so bitter!

A huge part of separating from this person is becoming grounded, once again, in your own reality. You are entitled to your feelings, and the idea of sucking it up because it’s good for the kids is bullshit. What’s good for the kids is living in reality. What’s good for the kids is knowing their mother is true to her feelings. That she matters. We can now have lovely, separate, but equal holiday events. You don’t get to sit down and have a slice of my bitchin’ pecan pie at my table that would put Martha Stewart to shame. No. Not this year, not any year. Boundaries.

Right now you’re swimming with sharks, and this may well be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but you will get through it, one day at a time. You are fierce. Rely on your senses — no one can tell you that what you heard must have been a mistake, what you witnessed was distorted, and no one can deny your experience. Hold your center, no matter how much he tries to throw you off.

Lesson #7

“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”

When you are finally divorced, that is an accomplishment in itself. The going got tough, and you proved you could get going and get it done. You fought for yourself and you probably turned out to be much stronger than you realized.

The truth is, up is the only way to go now. Hold a vision of yourself in a happier place where you are in control of your life. It will be a lot to unpack — therapy is an excellent tool to help with this — but get through the fight and lean on your village for all the support you need.

It’s a beautiful thing to regain freedom, peace, and financial independence, and when you get there, it’s going to feel so good.

7 Lessons from Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” That Will Get You Through a Divorce was originally published in P.S. I Love You on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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[grassshrimp56-blog]

How I Found My Dad Again on a Solo Trip to Vietnam

Pancakes were my dad’s specialty, mostly because he made them on special occasions: when his parents came to town, after I won a roller skating competition, before a drive to nearby Sequoia National Park.

His favorite special occasions were when his beloved Los Angeles Rams played the San Francisco 49ers. Before his friend Arlie, a Niners fan, would arrive to watch the game with him, he’d make his pancakes. It was a pre-game ritual and a prayer rolled into one: “Dear Heavenly Father of Football, bless these pancakes we are about to receive—and also, if you wouldn’t mind, bless the Rams with strong defense and a lot of touchdowns today.”

The pancakes he made weren’t distinctive. They weren’t whisked from scratch or shaped like hearts or topped with a blueberry smiley face. They were made with Bisquick, oil, and eggs.

Sometimes he’d let me pour the batter into the pan, and together we’d marvel at the sharp, short-lived sound it made on impact. Tzzzuuhhh, tzzzuuhh. How quickly it spread, how gracefully, I thought, each pancake stopped just shy of a collision with the other. We never poured more than two at a time.

“Nobody likes to be crowded,” he’d say.

The result was my then-favorite food: pancakes thick in the center, burned at the edges, and drowned in buttermilk syrup. Pancakes made by my dad and me.

Cooking wasn’t something he did often. Neither was showing up for dinner on time. Vast swaths of my childhood are usurped by the memory of a single, recurring event: my kid brother and I sitting at the dinner table watching ketchup bubble and drip down the sides of a steaming meatloaf, my mother shouting to us from the kitchen, “Look but don’t touch.”

We were waiting for my dad to come home. When at last he'd arrive, he’d kiss my mom on the cheek, and together we’d eat and watch Wheel of Fortune.

This ritual ended right before my 10th birthday, when my dad stopped coming home at all. Soon after, my parents divorced. My dad remarried and my mom got a second and a third job. Lines were drawn, sides were taken. I was not on his. We rarely met, and when we did, we masked our hurt with small talk and wooden smiles. Our before, as in “before the divorce,” became a hollow, infinite after.

Time passed. He started a business and divorced again. I moved to Los Angeles and then to New York. Our fragile “after” morphed into a series of stops and starts, the former marked by awkward attempts at recapturing our pancake days; the latter by the silences between them.

Fast forward to 2010. I am married and living in Tel Aviv. It is late May, and the hamsin have arrived, kicking up dust and stirring the heat. I sit alone on my balcony watching a bougainvillea tree sway in the wind and thinking of the night before. Last night, my husband made his safta’s ktsitsot, and after placing three perfectly round meatballs on his plate, turned to me and said, “I don’t love you anymore.”

He’d spend the next day moving out.

Where will I go?, I think to myself. I am not yet a resident and will have to leave Israel. I think of the friends I will lose and the money this will cost. And then, I think of my dad. Specifically, I think of the day when, while playing with my brother in our overstuffed garage, I found a black, dust-covered box with a gold medal inside. I’d taken it to my mom to ask if I could keep it.

“Where did you find that?” she said, breathless and impatient. “Put it back before your father sees it.”

I would later learn that it was an award my dad won for heroism and valor. In 1969, he killed an enemy soldier while on night watch in Vietnam. Presumably, he’d saved his platoon from a surprise attack. He was barely 20 years old.

He didn’t tell me this. My mother did. I recently read somewhere that over a quarter of a million Vietnam veterans still have PTSD. I’m not sure if my dad ever had any psychological trauma relating to his service. (His hearing, on the other hand, was greatly affected, a fact that makes it difficult for him to converse on the phone, and consequently, difficult for the two of us to converse at all.) Like so many veterans, he never talked about the war. Even now, the subject of Vietnam remains private, off limits to everyone, perhaps even to himself.

On the balcony, a cluster of pink flower petals has collected in a corner. I pick them up and throw them over the crumbling cement ledge. “Vietnam,” I say to the bougainvillea tree. I will go to Vietnam.

I decided to fly from Tel Aviv to Bangkok, with a loose plan to spend three months making a loop: Thailand to Laos to Vietnam to Cambodia. And then? I didn’t yet know the answer.

At the start of my trip, I didn’t think about my dad at all. I was too busy getting lost and feeling out of place and tasting foods I’d never seen before. In Thailand, I ate laap and durian ice cream. In Laos, I toured rice and mung bean farms, and played duc day with locals over Beerlao and tam. I saw ballets, went hiking, and took questionably constructed buses to villages with no name. Through it all, I rarely thought about my dad.

Eventually, however, the eagerness that required I accept every invitation and see every recommended sight subsided, giving way to a slower, more peaceful pace. I spent long, lazy afternoons reading and people-watching and drinking too many Thai iced teas. With more time to think, my thoughts turned to my dad.

These thoughts became especially vivid while researching routes and transportation between Laos and Vietnam. If I heard a laugh like his, I thought of him. If I saw a man with a mustache, I thought of him. If I smelled pancakes on the street—they are ubiquitous in Southeast Asia—I thought of him. Vietnam’s proximity was stirring my emotions. By the time I left Laos, my dad was the only thing on my mind.

When I arrived in Hanoi, the sensory overload shocked me. Vietnam is, at once, familiar and distant. In Halong Bay, endless mist floats over and into junk boats and cliff edges. In Vinh Moc, dank tunnels attest to lives lived entirely underground. In Ho Chi Minh City, buildings with ornate ceilings and bright tiled floors whisper of past French colonial rule.

I was unprepared for the real Vietnam. For its sounds and smells and breadth. For its darkness and vitality and cool. For its many thousand layers of tradition and lore that can never be fully peeled back.

I wondered, everywhere I went, if my dad had once been where I stood. In Hoi An, a port city and UNESCO World Heritage Site near My Lai and the former Vietnamese Demilitarized Zone, he came into particularly sharp view.

I am starting the long walk back to Hoi An’s city center after a day on the beach. Hungry, I turn off the main road and enter a bungalow with a sign that, I hope, says “restaurant.” There’s an upper deck and a small bar and two wooden tables set with unlit candles. In the back, a pond with a bird feeder at its center. There are no customers.

“You want eat?” A woman appears and sets a metal basket full of neon condiments on the table in front of me. “I bring menu for you.” Her voice is staccato and quick, a medley of diphthongs and off-glides and abrupt nasal stops. It is also kind.

When she returns and hands me the menu, I stammer and shrug. It’s written in Vietnamese and has no pictures.

“You want noodle? You want soup?”

“Noodles?” I ask more than state.

“Noodle good. Pork okay for you?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Okay. Cao lầu. Famous food for Hoi An. Only make in Hoi An. I bring you.”

She leaves and turns on the radio behind the bar. I sit and watch the birds stop at the edge of the pond, then quickly fly away.

When my meal arrives, I cup the bowl and admire the salty perfume. There are bean sprouts and greens and chiles. There are peanuts and a squeeze of lime. Fried pork rinds are sprinkled on the braised chunks of pork. Lining the cao lầu’s perimeter are the long, square-edged noodles that give the dish its name. I mix all of these together and take my first bite. It’s acidic and sweet, tacky and dense.

Legend has it that cau lầu noodles can only be produced in Hoi An. Of their three ingredients—water, ash, and ground rice—two can’t be found anywhere else in the world. It is said that the water is from an ancient Cham well just outside of town, and the ash is made from firewood on the nearby Cham Islands.

With each bite I take, a stream of memories pours forth. My dad washing our dog. My dad playing cards. My dad on a ski lift with me. We’d gone snowboarding when I’d visited him in Reno on my 21st birthday, and when his back had acted up, he’d nursed three cups of cocoa in the lodge so that I could have a full day on the slopes. Recalling this, I start to cry. Another memory: My dad pinning my Bluebirds badge on a pig-tailed, six year-old me. And another: My dad clapping wildly for me at my college graduation. And still another: My dad sitting across from me seven years earlier at a restaurant in New York, the last time I’d seen him.

I’m openly weeping now, hunched over my bowl and what remains of my new favorite dish. I can’t stop crying, and I can’t understand why I started.

Now, nearly a decade later, the reason is clear. Though my dad and I didn’t talk during my travels and we don’t speak often now, it was as if he was there with me. Alone in Vietnam, eating a dish whose ingredients aren’t available anywhere else, I felt closer to him than I had in 25 years. It was as if he had finally come home.

Source: https://food52.com/blog/24232-cao-lau-noodles-in-vietnam

[help-me-please-i-dont]

Suburban Winter

Late on a Sunday afternoon, a young man walks his dog through the snowy prairie. The dog had finally finished its business and they could both go home. The sun was already setting, which meant that the sunlight couldn’t provide any more warmth for long. The young man wore a brown coat with cotton lining the inside, along with black gloves and blue jeans. His hiking boots were coated in snow, some even melting into his socks.

The young man, whose name was Ishmael, called for his dog with a hand motion, and the good boy, named Tim, began trotting over to him. The man and the dog had some similar features, such as the jet black hair and the general scruffiness about them. Ishmael’s beard, however, was quite long for a man his age. He most certainly had not shaved for quite some time, and while the hood of his coat shielded it from view, his hair was quite long.

Ishmael and Tim hiked for 10 minutes or so before they reached a short hill that lead into their little subdivision. As they approached the top of the hill, Ishmael knelt down next to his dog and attached a leash to Tim’s collar.

The sun had begun to set, and many of the houses had begun to turn on lights inside. As Ishmael walked down the street toward his parent’s house, he looked through the windows of the houses he strolled past.

He saw silhouetted figures walking around their homes, preparing dinner or watching Wheel of Fortune. Perhaps some were enjoying hot cocoa and a warm fire while the family argued over which Christmas special to watch tonight. Ishmael was reminded of days long past, similar to the ones he could see through windows. He wished he could turn time back to a decade ago when life was easy and the hot chocolate was any good.

But he was snapped back to reality when he heard a voice from across the street. “Howdy, neighbor! How’re you today?” a friendly middle aged man shouted from his doorstep.

Ishmael felt for the holster hanging from his right leg and turned around. “Oh I’m just fine and dandy today Mr. Wolf! I wish I could stay and chat but I really oughta be getting home now. My mother will be worried sick” Ishmael said in an appropriately pitched midwestern accent.

The man across the street paused for a moment. “My name isn’t Mr. Wolf, it’s Jeremy Irons. And you don’t have a mother anymore, Ishemall”

Ishmael took out the suppressed Beretta 92 from its holster and fired two bullets rather nonchalantly at Mr. Irons. The 9mm rounds hit where his heart would be. Sparks flew out of the holes in Mr. Irons’ chest as he collapsed to the ground.

The gunshots were quieter than a normal shot, but they still echoed through the subdivision. Ishmael holstered the pistol and started running, much to the confusion of Tim, who had not reacted to any of the recent events.

Ishmael ran down the street to his parent’s house. He could hear the sirens on the opposite side of town. Tim couldn’t, but he was happy to be running through the snow-covered lawns alongside his master.

Ishmael sprinted across the ten inch snowbanks to his door, and shoved his key into the door. He let Tim in first, then walked in and closed the door behind him. The lights were out. The heat was not on. Ishmael took off his boots and peeled off his wet socks. He put on the slippers that sat near the door and walked upstairs to the laundry room, where he found a pile of last week’s clothes stuck in the dryer.

After sorting out his laundry, Ishmael walked downstairs. He was greeted by Tim, who was rapidly wagging his tail. Ishmael checked his watch. “My goodness, it’s almost 30 minutes past your dinner time! Oh I’m so sorry Timmy, I’ll get it to you right away” he said in a high-pitched baby talk voice. After pouring Tim one cup of kibble, Ishmael began to look through the pantry. Still had plenty of peanut butter and Nutella, and plenty of bread to go with it.

[topbeautifulwomens]

#Jimmie #Johnson #Biography #Photos #Wallpapers #babymodel #beatmaker #comment #fashionable #fashionweek #models #positive #presenter #punjabidance #punjabiwedding

Jimmie Johnson was born on September 17, 1975 in El Cajon, California, a working-class suburb on the desert side of San Diego. (Click here for a complete list of today’s sports birthdays.) Jimmie’s parents, Cathy and Gary, raised him and his two younger brothers, Jarit and Jessie, in a modest home. Gary worked for a tire company and moved earth as a bulldozer operator. Cathy drove a school bus. They made financial sacrifices to give their boys the best opportunities possible and support them in their various passions. For Jimmie, that included surfing and racing.

Jimmie got the speed bug on the familyâ€s frequent camping vacations, which included thrills and spills on dirt bikes. He displayed a prodigal aptitude for these machines and began his motorsports career at the age of four, racing 50cc bikes. Four years later, he won the 60cc championship. Jimmie had to sit out the end of that season with a broken knee, but he had garnered so many victories that all he had to do was run another lap to win the points title. He did so in the final race with a cast on his leg.

Over the years, Gary would drive Jimmie all over the western part of the U.S. in their beat-up Ford van, as the youngster made a name for himself in motocross events. Between races, Jimmie attended Granite Hills High School in El Cajon. One of his friends was Marcus Giles, the star of the baseball and football teams who would go on to play for the Atlanta Braves and San Diego Padres. Jimmie was also friendly with Tommy Vardell, who became a college football stud at Stanford and then logged several years in the NFL.

In 1992, Jimmie won his first of three-straight stadium motocross championships in the Mickey Thompson Entertainment Group Stadium Racing Series. The following year, supercross legend Rick Johnson introduced him to Herb Fishel of GM Racing during an event at the L.A. Coliseum. Fishel agreed to back Jimmie in off-road buggy and truck racing, and the teenager was soon one of the top drivers on the Short Course Off-Road Drivers Association (SODA) Series and the SCORE Desert Series.

Jimmie won the SCORE title in 1994 and the SODA winter championship in 1996 and 1997. By this time, he was driving for Herzog Motorsports. In this type of racing, Jimmie learned how to handle his vehicles under the most extreme circumstances.

In 1998, Jimmie graduated to the American Speed Association Grand National circuit. He was named Rookie of the Year after finishing fourth in points. A year later, he finished third in the standings.

Before long, Jimmie was getting the occasional Busch Series ride with the Herzog brothers. He made his first Busch appearance at the Kroeger 200 in Indianapolis, and then finished 15th in his next start at the CarQuest Auto Parts 250. Jimmie ran five more Busch events in 1999, including a seventh-place finish at the Die Hard 250.

ON THE RISE

Jimmie became a entire-time Busch Series competitor in 2000. Though he did not record a Top 5 finish in 29 starts, he still wound up 10th in the standings. Jimmie admittedly did not have much asphalt experience, but he was a fast learner and an intuitive analyst when his machine wasnâ€t feeling right. He seemed to grow with each race.

Jimmieâ€s first Busch victory came in July of 2001, when he edged Mike Skinner and Jeff Burton at the Chicagoland Speedway. Jimmie ended the year ranked #8, almost 1,000 points behind champion Kevin Harvick.

Jimmie started his first Winston Cup race that same fall, in the UAW-GM 500 at the Loweâ€s Motor Speedway. He ran 192 laps before a wreck sent him home early. In November, he made two more starts, finishing 25th and 29th.

Jimmie began the 2002 season as a full-fledged member of the Hendrick Motorsports racing organization. Rick Hendrick had planned to start a fourth team, and Jeff Gordon suggested that he give Jimmie a seem. Hendrick knew his top driver was interested in a co-ownership deal and asked Gordon whether he was willing to put his money where his mouth was. Gordon nodded, and the rest was history.

Many thought Hendrick was crazy when he had signed Jimmie toward the end of the 2000 season. The neophyte driver did not have the rĂ©sumĂ© or reputation to support this quantum leap, but Hendrick saw his potential. He had first noticed Jimmie when he raced against Hendrick’s son, Ricky. Meanwhile, the home improvement company Loweâ€s followed Hendrickâ€s lead and sponsored the rookieâ€s #48 car. It turned out to be a brilliant investment.

Jimmie rewarded all this confidence by grabbing the pole position at Daytona, where he finished a respectable 15th. In April, he won the pole again at the Aaronâ€s 499, and then won his first Winston Cup race a week later in the Napa Auto Parts 500 at the California Speedway. It was Jimmieâ€s seventh Top 10 finish in eight starts. He took the flag again at Dover and woke up the next morning as NASCARâ€s #2 driver.

Marcus Giles, 2006 Heritage

Even more gratifying to Jimmie than his fast start was his fast-developing friendship with Gordon. Jimmie had admired Gordon for many years. The two were close in age and got along famously. Jimmie and Gordon, said crew chief Chad Knaus, were like peanut butter and jelly. After Jimmieâ€s first win, Gordon ran to Victory Lane, hugged him, and screamed, “You rock, buddy! I guess we hired the right guy!”

Also fueling interest in Jimmieâ€s breakthrough season was his rivalry with fellow rookie Ryan Newman. It had been a long time since two first-timers had challenged for the championship in the same season. Jimmie, however, did not win NASCAR Rookie of the Year. Although he would out-point Newman, the award was based on each driver’s best 15 finishes. Newman beat him out.

Jimmie ran consistently throughout the summer of ’02. After winning the MBNA All-American Heroes 400, he occupied the circuitâ€s top spot. Unfortunately, his finishing kick in October and November was not enough to consolidate his position. Still, he managed to end the year as NASCAR’s #5 driver.

Jimmie went the entire 2003 season without ever getting another flavor of the top spot, but he never fell out of the Top 10. He won two races and ran well enough in October and November to ease into the #2 slot at seasonâ€s end. Jimmieâ€s final six races all designed Top 5 finishes (3rd, 2nd, 4th, 3rd, 2nd and 2nd).

Jimmie finished second overall again in 2004, after holding the top spot in the new Nextel Cup standings on and off for almost three months. He earned his first victory of the year at Darlington in March. He added a win at the Coca-Cola 600 and two at the Pocono Raceway to secure a spot in the inaugural Chase for the Cup. Jimmie surged toward the points championship with three straight victories at Loweâ€s, Martinsville and Atlanta—and another at Darlington in the seasonâ€s second-to-last race. A second in the season-ending Ford 400 added 170 points to his total—just shy of champion Kurt Busch.

Jimmieâ€s amazing stretch run was overshadowed by the plane crash that took the lives several of Hendrick family members and engine builder Randy Dorton. His victory in Atlanta was emotional one, coming just days after the tragedy.

Jimmie spent the first half of the 2005 season at or near the top of the driver standings. He began the year on a tear, posting with four Top 5 finishes and three victories, including his second straight Coca-Cola 600. A win at the UAW-GM Quality 500 in October vaulted him into the #2 spot with five races left, but once again he fell just short. A cut tire on the 124th lap at Homestead in the season finale dropped him to fifth place on the year.

MAKING HIS MARK

Jimmie began the 2006 season a smarter, more focused driver. His year got off to a rocky start, however, when his crew chief Knaus was sent home for making illegal modifications to Jimmie’s #48 Chevy during Daytona 500 qualifying. Jimmie responded by picking his way through the field, avoiding crashes among the leaders, and nosing in front of teammate Brian Vickers with 14 laps to go, just before a yellow caution flag.

Jimmie stayed in front after the restart and held of challenges from Newman and Dale Earnhardt Jr. to take the checkered flag. He sweated out an unusually thorough post-race inspection and was proclaimed the winner. A win at Talladega and another at the Brickyard 400 gave Jimmie three majors after just 21 races.

Jimmie held on to the #1 spot most of the season until a string of nine mediocre finishes dropped him to the bottom of the Chase points standings with just five races to go. His fortunes took a dramatic turn for the better at the Bank of America 500, when he finished second to Kasey Kahne. One week later, Jimmie won the Subway 500 at Martinsville. After two more second-place finishes, Jimmie located himself back atop the standings with just two races to go. He barely lost to Tony Stewart at the Texas Motor Speedway to maintain his lead, setting up the season finale in Homestead.

Since Stewart was not one of the 10 drivers qualifying for the Chase, Jimmie technically did not lose any ground. He would begin the Ford 400 needing only to finish 12th to assure himself of his first driving championship. Matt Kenseth was his primary pursuer, with Kevin Harvick and rookie Denny Hamlin still technically with a shot.

The week before the race, Jimmie was a wreck thinking about a wreck. He drove his wife, Chandra, and his teammates crazy, but once he got behind the wheel on race day he mellowed out. Jimmie survived some front-end damage and a shaky pit stop to consolidate his position in the lead pack, and then drove carefully through several late cautions and restarts. He finished ninth and won the Nextel Cup by 56 points. On the victory lap, Gordon pulled up on his right and gave him a love tap.

At one point, Kenseth called Jimmieâ€s team the Indianapolis Colts of NASCAR. He meant it as a compliment—week in, week out, the #48 car was the one to beat. Kenseth was on the money when he lauded Johnsonâ€s team. The core had remained in tact since 2002, and no one was grumbling that they wanted out.

Ryan Newman, NASCAR Illustrated

As 2007 approached. Jimmie and his team were a well-oiled machine. Indeed, he took four races early in the year—the UAW-DaimlerChrysler 400, the Kobalt Tools 500, the Goody’s Cool Orange 500 and the Jim Stewart 400.

At the Brickyard in the Allstate 400, Jimmie encountered trouble when he blew a tire and hit the wall. His fans were horrified when his car burst into flames. Jimmie climbed out unhurt but not unscathed—the heat crinkled his eyebrows.

With six wins during the first part of the ’07 season, Jimmie piled up more than 5,000 points and enjoyed the lead heading into the Chase phase. He took the checkered flag at the first race, the Chevy Rock & Roll 400, and later in October in the Subway 500 at Martinsville and then the Pep Boys Auto 500 in Atlanta. He was neck-and-neck with Gordon at this point for first place.

Jimmie slammed the door on Gordon in the next two races, winning at the Texas Motor Speedway and at the Phoenix International Raceway for four victoriess in a row. He made it official in the season-ending Ford 400, when he finished seventh to beat Gordon for the final Nextel Cup by 77 points.

One question was one everyone’s mind heading into 2008: Could Jimmie make it three in a row? He grabbed the pole at the Daytona 500 and recorded three Top 5 finishes in his first seven races. Jimmieâ€s first victory came at the Subway Fresh Fit 500 in Phoenix. While May and June produced no wins, he racked up plenty of point-worthy finishes.

Feeling they essential to refine Jimmieâ€s ride, Knaus and his crew began an aggressive testing regimen in the spring. By mid-summer, the results began to show. In July, Jimmie redeemed himself at the Brickyard and won the race by holding off a strong challenge from Carl Edwards.

Jimmie visited Victory Lane again in late August, winning the Pepsi 500 Auto Club Speedway in a thoroughly dominant performance. A week later, he repeated as champion of the Chevy Rock & Roll 400. That put him just 40 points out of first place when the Sprint Chase for the Championship began.

The third event of the Chase, at the Kansas Speedway, saw Jimmie win his first of four races during a five-event stretch. After victories at Loweâ€s Speedway, Martinsville and Atlanta, he had a whopping 183-point lead. A victory in the second-to-last race, the Checker O’Reilly Auto Parts 500, all but assured him of a third straight NASCAR title.

The only driver who could catch Jimmie was Edwards. He did is best, winning the season-concluding Ford 400 in Homestead. Jimmie, however, finished 15th, which gave him a 69-point cushion and a third consecutive championship. The only other driver to win three straight NASCAR titles was Cale Yarborough, from 1976 to 1978.

The 2009 season promised to be another campaign of front-running, especially after NASCAR announced its new two-row restart policy. Jimmie had always been good in restarts, and this reconfiguration favored him every time a caution flag came out.

After a sluggish start to the season, Jimmie heated up in late March. Starting at Bristol in the Food City 500, he notched four straight Top 5 finishes, including a win at Martinsville—his sixth at that track. In the late stages of the short-track race, where drivers battle for every inch, Denny Hamlin took the lead with a slick move on a restart and held it through three cautions. But a bump-and-pass by Jimmie with 15 laps to go gave him the lead for good. It was his sixth career win at Martinsville.

Jimmie stayed within a couple hundred points of the NASCAR leaders throughout the spring and early summer with strong showings at Darlington and Daytona, and a victory at Dover in the Autism Speaks 400. Jimmie led this race by a wide margin until a bungled pit stop put him in the middle of the pack with 36 laps remaining. He picked his way through the field and passed leader Tony Stewart with just two laps to go for NASCARâ€s most exciting finish of the season.

At this point, it is fair to say that Jimmie and Hendrick Motorsports have mastered the Chase for the Cup system. Jimmie and his crew spend the year refining their approach and getting their car running right and tight—and then blow through the final 10 races. For skill, consistency, and knowledge, there may never have been a team better suited to dominate in NASCARâ€s modern era.

JIMMIE THE DRIVER

Jimmie Johnson, 2003 Press Pass

Jimmie’s days as an off-road champion enable him to hang it all on the NASCAR ovals without losing control. He also senses little things in his car that the top data-acquisition systems sometimes miss. This allows his pit crew to make that extra miniscule adjustment when he refuels.

Although he won races in 2006 and 2007 while Chad Knaus was suspended, Jimmieâ€s success has long hinged on the relationship he formed with the Hendrick Motorsports veteran. Knaus was a member of Jeff Gordonâ€s wonderful 1997 Rainbow Warrior crew and saw close-up the rapport that Gordon had with Ray Evernham. Now Knaus has surpassed Evernham in this regard.

Knaus and Gordon agreed that they would try to “clone” this team for Jimmie, and it has obviously worked well. With 40 victories and three championships in the first seven years of his Sprint Cup career, Jimmie is basically making history every time he slides behind the wheel. Itâ€s a credit to his skill and his crew in an era of multiple tire, human body and chassis changes. It will be interesting to see whether his dominance continues as NASCAR enters an era of economic uncertainty.

Name Jimmie Johnson Height 5' 11″ Naionality American Date of Birth September 17, 1975 Place of Birth El Cajon, California, USA Famous for

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[365goalsfor365days]

2018 Bucket List - May Update (1/365) (Total: 11/365)

Doing so well this year, you guys.

1. Become a Homeowner

2. Get a new mattress

3. Become a First Aid Instructor

4. Become a CPR Instructor

5. Get a position in Labor and Delivery or Postpartum

6. Write a legal will and get it notarized

7. Complete Neonatal Resuscitation Program

8. Obtain a regular drivers license

9. Write a legal advance directive and get it notarized

10. Get a Passport

11. Complete ACLS certification

12. Increase student loans to $350 each/month

13. Get a new couch

14. Get a tattoo

15. Get a permanent position

16. Join the organ donor registry

17. Get a British Bulldog (Winston)

18. Make melted crayon guitar art (JK)

19. Sew a teddy bear

20. Sew a dress

21. Make a quilt

22. Start a scrapbook

23. Crochet a hat

24. Complete grad photobook

25. Complete wedding scrapbook

26. Crochet Christmas stockings

27. Make a Wonder Woman apron (JH)

28. Crochet a hooded owl blanket (MB)

29. Do a cross stitch*

30. Fold 1000 origami stars

31. Make matching Mr & Mrs Scarves*

32. Crochet a black cat blanket with hood (KS)

33. Fold 1000 origami butterflies

34. Make a mobile of 1000 origami cranes

35. Design my own deck of cards

36. Complete wedding photobook

37. Make homemade lip balm

38. Make house key print tree ornament

39. Make carved wood or burned wood personalized wine box (ME)

40. Swap customized keychains with Daniel

41. Sew matching aprons for me & Daniel

42. Make a Feminist cross stitch quilt (CB)

43. Make Lion King cross stitch (JK)

44. Make wine glass winter scene candle holders

45. Make a Little Mermaid Apron (JM)

46. Make carved or burned wood “It’s Always Tea Time” Mad Hatter Tea Box

47. Crochet a Spiderman blanket (LS)

48. Crochet a legend of Zelda blanket (CW)

49. Make jazz guitar print art (SS)

50. Adopt an otter

51. Answer 50 correct answers in a row on Freerice.com

52. Participate in a charity walk/run

53. Donate $50 to the Edmonton Humane Society

54. Run a Hogwarts Running Club race

55. Donate $50 to the Canadian Mental Health Association

56. Donate 5 Items to Ronald McDonald house

57. Donate 5 Items to the Terra Centre

58. Adopt a polar bear

59. Make “Curious Confection” Disney drink

60. Make “Sirens Song” Disney drink

61. Make “Glass Slipper” Disney drink

62. Make “Belle of the Ball” Disney drink

63. Make herb butter

64. Make homemade fried chicken

65. Make caramel apple jello shots

66. Make macarons

67. Make homemade California rolls

68. Make all recipes in Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook

69. Make candy apples

70. Bake a baked Alaska

71. Cook lobster

72. Make Tiramisu

73. Bake Boston cream pie

74. Make homemade basil pesto

75. Roast pumpkin seeds

76. Finish my red recipe book

77. Bake lemony blueberry cheesecake bars

78. Bake cream cheese, banana & coconut pain perdu

79. Make Sims Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich (in real life)

80. Make Mexican tostadas

81. Make 365 new recipes

82. Cook every single recipe in a cook book

83. Make all recipes from Swap & Drop Diet Cookbook

84. Do a chopped competition with Daniel

85. Make fruit sushi

86. Make “Sleep Cycle” Disney drink

87. Make “False King” Disney drink

88. Make “Ohana Colada” Disney drink

89. Make all recipes from Cooking Light Global Kitchen cookbook

90. Make Sims Porcini Risotto (in real life)

91. Make Crepes

92. Go to Dinner Theatre

93. Eat at Café Bicyclette

94. Have lunch at Ampersand 27

95. Eat at Café Linnea

96. Eat at Earnest’s at NAIT

97. Go on a gelato date

98. Have dessert from Italian Bakery Edmonton

99. Eat at the 3 Bananas Café

100. Eat at Dorinku

101. Try a Po’ Boy

102. Eat deep fried ice cream

103. Eat at Have Mercy

104. Have lunch at the Harvest Room at Hotel MacDonald

105. Have dinner on the Edmonton Queen Riverboat

106. Try La Poutine

107. Have breakfast at Under the High Wheel

108. Have dessert at Block 1912

109. Eat at Uccellino

110. Go out for hungover breakfast the morning after a party with friends

111. Have a meal at Bistro Praha

112. Read “Water for Elephants” by Sara Gruen and watch the movie

113. Read Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini and watch the movie

114. Read “It” by Stephen King and watch the movie

115. Read “Labor Day” by Eleanor Henderson

116. Read “Three Day Road” by Joseph Boyden

117. Read “The Girl on the Train“ by Paula Hawkins & Watch the movie

118. Read “They Left Us Everything”

119. Read “The House Girl” by Tara Conklin

120. Read all 36 books from the Dear Canada series

121. Read “My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward: A Memoir” by Mark Lukach

122. Read all 54 books from the fictional Magic Tree House series

123. Read “13 Reasons Why” by Jay Asher and watch the series

124. Read “Dolores Claiborne” by Stephen King

125. Read “We Need To Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver

126. Read all 51 books from the Adventures of the Bailey School Kids series

127. Read “Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers” by Mary Roach

128. Read “The Shift: One Nurse, Twelve Hours, Four Patients Lives” by Theresa Brown

129. Read “Working Stiff: by Judy Melinek and TJ Mitchell

130. Read “Every Patient Tells a Story” by Lisa Sanders

131. Read “The Night Shift” by Dr Brian Goldman

132. Read “Wenjack” by Joseph Boyden

133. Read “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat” by Oliver Sacks

134. Read “Weird Edmonton” by Mark Kozub

135. Read “11/22/63” by Stephen King

136. Re-read Lemony Snickets A Series of Unfortunate Events series

137. Read all 20 Royal Diaries books

138. Read all the books from the Dear America series

139. Read “End of Watch” by Stephen King

140. Read “I, Ripper” by Stephen Hunter

141. Read “Happyface” by Stephen Edmond

142. Read “The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian” by Sherman Alexie

143. Read “The Mighty Miss Malone” by Curtis

144. Read “In The Unlikely Event” by Judy Blume

145. Read “Church of Marvels” by Leslie Parry

146. Read “My Secret Sister” by Helen Edwards

147. Read “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” by Annie Barrows

148. Read “The Book of Negroes” by Lawrence Hill & watch the movie

149. Read “The Real Doctor Will See You Shortly” by Matt McCarthy

150. Read “Nerd Do Well” by Simon Pegg

151. Read “Wild” by Cheryl Strayd and watch the movie

152. Read “I Am Malala” by Malala Yousafzai

153. Read “The Book Thief’ by Markus Zusak and watch the movie

154. Read “Welcome to Nightvale” by Joseph Fink and listen to all podcasts

155. Read “1984” by George Orwell

156. Read “Nightmares!” by Jason Segal and Kirsten Miller

157. Read “The Bazaar of Bad Dreams” by Stephen King

158. Read “Finders Keepers” by Stephen King

159. Read the Little Old Lady Series

160. Read “Mr Mercedes” by Stephen King

161. Read “Left Neglected” by Lisa Genova

162. Read “Doctor Sleep” by Stephen King

163. Read “Bringing Adam Home” by Les Standiford

164. Read “Carry On” by Rainbow Rowell

165. Read “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande

166. Read “A Spy Amongst Friends” by Ben Macintyre

167. Read “Still Alice” by Lisa Genova and watch the movie

168. Read “Five Days at Memorial” by Sheri Fink

169. Read “Canada” by Mike Myers

170. Read “Behind the Beautiful Forevers” by Katherine Boo

171. Read “Quiet: The Power of Introverts” by Susan Cain

172. Read “The Haunting of Sunshine Girl” by Paige Mckenzie

173. Read “Dirty Jobs” and “Second Hand Souls” by Christopher Moore

174. Read “My Sister’s Keeper” and watch the movie

175. Read “Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea” by April Genevive Tucholke

176. Read “Four Past Midnight” by Stephen King

177. Read “Hope: A Memoir of Survival in Cleveland” by Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus

178. Read “Anya’s Ghost” by Vera Brosgol

179. Read “Trauma”

180. Read “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” by JK Rowling and watch the movie

181. Read “This is That Travel Guide to Canada”

182. Read “The Trouble with Goats and Sheep” by Joanne Cannor

183. Read “Tough Shit” by Kevin Smith

184. Read “Tales of Beedle the Bard” by JK Rowling

185. Read “The Trouble with Alice” by Olivia Glazebrook

186. Read “The 100 Mile Diet: A Year of Local Eating” by Alisa Smith & JB MacKinnon

187. Read “At Home in Old Strathcona” by Gwen McGregor Molnar

188. Read “The Tumbling Turner Sisters” by J. Fay

189. Read “The Dangerous Animals Club” by S. Tobolowsky

190. Read “The Book of Speculation” by E. Swyler

191. Read “The Nurses” by Alexandra Robbins

192. Read “Shine Shine Shine” by Lydia Netzer

193. Read “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel and watch the movie

194. Read the EC Wells series

195. Read “Scrappy Little Nobody” by Anna Kendrick

196. Read “The First Phone Call From Heaven” by Mitch Albom

197. Read “Hope’s Boy” by Andrew Bridge

198. Read “The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August” by Claire North

199. Read “The House At the End of Hope Street” by Menna Van Praag

200. Read “Home” by Harlan Coben

201. Read “The Devil in the White City“ by Erik Lawson

202. Tour the Chicago Connection tunnel in Moose Jaw

203. Tour the Passage to Fortune tunnel in Moose Jaw

204. Visit the Dead Sea of Saskatchewan (Little Manitou)

205. Tour the Royal Canadian Mint

206. Visit the Eskimo Museum in Churchill

207. Visit Prime Berth Fishing Museum in Twillingate

208. Go to the Barbie Expo in Montreal

209. Visit the Acadian Historical Village in Caraquet

210. Visit the Tokyo National Museum

211. Visit the Owl Café in Akhabara

212. Go to the Tokyo Studio Ghibli Museum

213. Visit the Manitoba Museum in Winnipeg

214. Tour the Royal Saskatchewan Museum in Regina

215. See a Sunset Retreat Ceremony at the RCMP Heritage Center in Regina

216. Visit the Canadian Museum of History in Quebec

217. See Head-Smash-In Buffalo Jump in Fort McLeod

218. Visit the Royal BC Museum in Victoria

219. See Niagra Falls

220. Visit the Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington

221. Visit Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada in Toronto

222. Visit the Royal Ontario Museum

223. Do the Underground Tour at Bell Island’s Mine Museum

224. Visit the Western Development Museum in Saskatoon

225. Visit Leo Mol Sculpture Garden in Winnipeg

226. Visit Squamish Lil’Wat Cultural Centre in Whistler

227. Visit the Canadian Museum of Immigration at Pier 21 in Halifax

228. Visit the Canadian Museum for Human Rights

229. Visit the Canadian Museum of Nature in Ottawa

230. Visit the Fort George National Historic Site of Canada at Niagara-on-the-Lake

231. Go to Science North in Sudbury

232. Take a photo with the Hachiko statue in Tokyo

233. Do a “Disney Love” photoshoot with Daniel

234. Grow a carrot plant

235. Go to new Royal Alberta Museum

236. Catch all First Gen Pokemon Go Pokemon

237. Catch all Second Gen Pokemon Go Pokemon

238. Catch all Third Gen Pokemon Go Pokemon

239. Successfully do winged eyeliner

240. Have a yard sale

241. Build a Bear at Build a Bear

242. Go scuba diving

243. Go rock climbing

244. Go through the Edmonton Corn Maze

245. Attend a Superstore cooking class

246. Bowl a 100+ game

247. Catch a fish

248. Dye my hair blonde

249. Go ice fishing

250. Tour Candy Cane Lane

251. Find 5 Geocaches

252. Go paintballing

253. See the stars at an observatory

254. Go on a double date

255. Can something with mom

256. Play through Fran Bow

257. Visit Dr Woods House Museum

258. Grow parsley

259. Go on a bike ride around Telford Lake

260. Solve a Rubik’s cube

261. Grow oregano

262. Pick berries from a berry farm

263. Host a holiday dinner for family

264. Win something

265. Skip rocks with Daniel

266. Do yoga outside at sunrise

267. Go horseback riding

268. Walk across a suspension bridge

269. Learn how to edit photographs

270. Get a hot stone massage

271. Pose for a nude painting

272. Visit Grandmas grave

273. Be in a boudoir photoshoot

274. Get ears pierced again

275. Learn Under the Sea on xylophone

276. Learn calligraphy

277. Go roller blading

278. See a moose in the wild

279. Learn Over the Rainbow on ukulele

280. Pick a pumpkin at Upick

281. Build a fire

282. Complete Wreck this Journal

283. Build a sandcastle

284. Build a snowman

285. Complete a 1000 Piece Puzzle

286. Get all Pokemon Go medals

287. Try a sensory deprivation chamber

288. Sew all badges on my camp blanket

289. Sign a petition

290. Camp at Elk Island Provincial Park

291. Go to Sea Life Caverns at WEM

292. Go apple picking

293. Go hostelling in Nordegg

294. Photograph a robin

295. Photograph a blue jay

296. Go to the ballet

297. Go to a hot spring in winter

298. Plant a Fairy Garden

299. Fully decorate apartment for Halloween

300. Go to another TWOS Dark Matters Night

301. Go to the Muttart Conservatory

302. Play through Beyond Two Souls

303. Try an alcohol shot

304. Go to the John Walters museum

305. Body paint with Daniel

306. Take a class at the Greenland Garden Center

307. Go Canoeing

308. Play a game of chess

309. Play laser tag

310. Have a girls night

311. Go to a drop in class at the Art Gallery of Alberta

312. Send out Christmas cards

313. Reach level 40 of Pokemon Go

314. Visit the Reynolds-Alberta Museum

315. Go on a Canmore Cave Tour

316. Get a couples massage

317. Have a game night at Table Top Café

318. See a live show at the Roxy

319. Shoot a Gun

320. Juggle 3 balls

321. Pick a door lock

322. See a Rapidfire Theater show

323. Dance on my balcony with Daniel as it gently rains

324. Go to a driving range

325. Write a love letter

326. Go to a U of A varsity game

327. Complete Pocket Posh Logic book

328. Go to a hockey game

329. Go to a football game

330. See the Nutcracker Ballet

331. Play at Breakout Edmonton

332. Complete a coloring book

333. Go paddle boating

334. Visit the Alberta Aviation Museum

335. Visit the Jurassic Forest

336. Play slots at a casino

337. Go skating

338. Try to escape The Cabin at Escape City

339. Complete my Sims challenge

340. Get a BBQ and have a BBQ with friends

341. Tube down the Pembina river

342. Get a facial

343. Take a class at Purdy’s Chocolates

344. Hold Crow Pose (Yoga)

345. Complete 12 months to a healthier you challenge

346. Fit size 6 pants

347. Do 100 consecutive push ups

348. Hold Kala Bhairavasana (yoga)

349. Hold Sirsasana (Yoga)

350. Do 100 Consecutive Sit Ups

351. Reach goal weight of 120 lb

352. Walk 20 000 steps for 3 consecutive days

353. Attend a drop in spin class

354. Attend a drop in yoga class

355. Try Hot Yoga

356. See a movie and have dinner at the VIP Theatre

357. Watch the top 100 movies of 2017

358. See a movie at Princess Theatre

359. Go to the Edmonton Film Fest

360. Watch an outdoor movie

361. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Musical & Art Movies

362. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Movies of 2016

363. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Horror Movies

364. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Documentary films

365. Watch Rotten Tomatoes Top 100 Comedy Movies

[theholypeanut]

Otoya Eita x Forced Proximity

Peanut’s Wheel of Fortune Event

Cw: Otoya is a cw on its own, slight nsfw themes but no actual smut so 16+(voyeurism), suggestive, Otoya is taller than the reader, Yukimiya having a girl crush, gn!reader, 1,5 k words

Plot: You didn’t expect to get stuck in a closet with Otoya, and having to listen your friend getting handsy with his crush…

Event Masterlist

Otoya has been annoying you for a date since you started college. 

You had a couple of classes together, and even if you did not click with him right away, you and Yukimiya (one of his closest high school friends he went to college with) vibed very well. Unfortunately in your second year, you and Kenyu had fewer classes together, and instead you had to spend almost every day with Otoya Eita. And even worse he took it as a sign from god that he has a chance with you.

At first, you were absolutely not interested in any interactions with him, as he constantly tried to use the most obnoxious pickup lines on you. As time went on and you were forced into the same places together, you found out that he could actually be quite funny too. Even better, he was an amazing gossip buddy - you could always count on him to have the spiciest pieces of information on campus, and you tried not to be any worse. After a while, you could say that you kind of considered him a friend, just a very… flirty one. 

Because you ended up in a similar group of friends, you were also going to parties together. 

For the past months with Eita you’ve been trying to get Kenyu together with this girl from his English literature classes, that he would never admit that he had a crush on. To be honest he never asked you for help, even more, he even told you specifically to „stay away and not try to stir anything” but both you and Otoya were not the type to listen to his suggestions. Like, what could be wrong? If he couldn’t get together with her till now, maybe he just needs a little help? What are friends for?

And you really tried to be the best wingmen he could think of. “Accidentally” asking him to go to places she was in, always ordering coffee from the cafe she worked at, especially during her shifts, invite her on their matches… nothing worked. Yukimiya was just so dense.

This time again, nothing went as planned. It was a Friday night and you went to this huge party thrown in a building looking like a villa. The vibe seemed good, and most importantly: The Crush was also there. But something just felt off.

First of all, Yukimiya for the first time ever was drinking. At the beginning seeing him with a red plastic cup made you and Eita send each other knowing glances. It was very suspicious, especially since Kenyu always joked that he is a „sober friend” who takes care of everyone. He was, in fact, a mom friend at his finest. 

You started to look around if maybe the Pretty Literature Girl is somewhere around, and she was indeed talking to some basketball jock in the corner of the room. You could almost hear her giggling from across the room. Otoya was fast to keep up and after exchanging some secret hand gestures, he came over to Kenyu. 

„You know, for me, it feels like tonight is the night” he said and patted his friend. „You should talk to her, as you are already a little tipsy”

„I'm not tipsy” Kenyu said defensively and looked in the direction of his crush. „I don’t think there's a point.” You fast step up to the conversation, and put an arm around your tall friend. 

„Look you will never know if you won't try! Maybe she just tries to make you jealous?”

In an answer, Yukimiya only sighed and drank all of the remaining alcohol in his cup in one sip. Seeing him so gloomy made you wonder if maybe this is the type of drunk he is going to be. You felt a hand on your arm and after looking around, you saw Otoya suggesting you to go upstairs to retrieve. It was very loud in the dancing area, so without trying to yell over the music, you left your sad friend and left with a white-haired up the stairs. 

It was a big house, and you had no idea who it belonged to (Maybe Reo, the rich kid?) but the upper area was full of doors. It was still quite loud in the corridor, so Otoya opened the door to, what looked like, one of the bedrooms. You followed him there and closed the door. 

„I don't think our plan will work today” you said and sighed. „Yukimiya looks like he will start crying and talking about his childhood traumas any moment, I’m actually kind of scared of what will happen if he keeps drinking”

„Yeah, it’s really not looking good for him” Otoya nodded. „I'm pretty sure he is also more drunk than us, which is an entirely different kind of issue. I don’t think I ever saw him drinking.”

You were about to answer, when you heard a familiar voice coming from outside the door. Was it…. Kenyu’s crush? You looked at Otoya in panic, and without thinking he grabbed your hand and pulled you inside the spacious closet in the room. 

Well, it looked spacious from the outside, when the two of you fit inside, you could feel Otoya’s entire body hugging your back. 

„Move!” You whispered to him, feeling a weird tingling in your stomach from the sudden closeness. He leaned closer to your ear and his breath was tickling your neck. 

„I can’t. Just wait, maybe they won’t…” and then you heard the door to the bedroom open and close. 

„I thought you’ll never talk to me tonight” you two heard the girl. 

„Well you looked really busy with that guy…” you couldn’t believe when you recognised familiar voice. 

„Mmmm, Kenyu, are you jealous?” She purred teasingly, in a way that even you blushed. 

„Maybe” you heard your friend teasing her back. You didn’t have to see anything to know the tension between this two was very high. The girl giggled, and you could hear a sound of a kiss. Your body tensed up. 

„You know I’m yours” she said so quietly you could barely hear. You felt Otoya’s hand touching your waist and you tried to turn your head to him without making any sound. „Are they…” you whispered as quietly as you could when the sound going from outside of the closet answered your question: there was a heavy making-out session going on right outside the closet door. 

You thought you could not get more uncomfortable until you heard the girl moaning your friend’s name. What made the situation even worse is that not only you were stuck to listen to your friend getting all steamy with his crush, but you also could feel Otoya’s getting more and more aroused, as you assumed feeling a sudden pressure around your ass. 

„I’m sorry” you heard him whimper in your ear, which sent a shiver down your spine. You heard another loud moan and Yukimiya’s groans, as you assume he was kissing her neck. Well, you couldn’t really be mad at Eita right now. You turned to look at him to say something, but as your faces were so close to each other you could feel his nose brushing your cheek, you heard a sudden noise of an opening door. 

„Oooh fuck!” You heard some male voice from outside. „Sorry, I was looking for a bathroom…” 

The sudden noise made you jump and for a split second, you could feel Otoya’s lips on yours, before you turned back to face the door. From the sound of it you felt like Yukimiya and his situationship decided to stop after the sudden entrance. The door closed again and you heard Kenyu clearing his throat. 

„How about we get out of here?” He suggested. „I will just text my friends I’m too drunk and that I ordered the taxi home…” The girl giggled. 

„I don't know why you won't just tell them that we are dating” she answered. You heard Yukimiya sigh and with your imagination you knew he was massaging his temples with annoyance. „They are just so noisy and dramatic… I will tell them, one day” 

After that, the only sound going out of the room was the door opening and closing. You waited a couple of seconds, to be sure they wouldn't be coming back, and then you opened the door and walked out of the closet. 

There was an awkward silence between you two, as you felt too embarrassed to address what would have happened if both you and Yukimiya hadn’t been interrupted. 

Otoya cleared his throat. 

„I cannot believe he was keeping it a secret saying we are annoying” You smirked with relief after this comment. 

„I cannot believe Yukimiya almost hooked up with someone at a party… without closing the door.”

The atmosphere felt a little less tense. 

„I think we should leave this room before someone will think that we are here for…” you didn’t end the sentence, a little embarrassed. You saw Eita blushing before he looked away.

„Yeah right. Wouldn’t want to be cockblocked like that…” As you put your hand on the doorknob, you felt Otoya standing right behind you, as he put his forearm on the door right above your head. 

„We would at least close the door on a lock, right?” He said right to your ear.

You stood there for a second, feeling your heart speeding up to a dangerous pace. Your face felt hot when you turned the lock on the door. 

„…Right”

Bonus

[dipulb3]

The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 Coupe is more versatile than you might think

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/the-2021-mercedes-amg-gle63-coupe-is-more-versatile-than-you-might-think-3/

The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 Coupe is more versatile than you might think

That tapered roofline adds style but doesn’t take away too much cargo space.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 S Coupe’s big wheels, tapering roofline and shapely backside are sure to grab your attention. This is an undeniably trendy, high-style vehicle. But what lurks behind this swoopy SUV’s retro-inspired Panamericana grille is the real star of the show.

Like

Comfortable, classy interior

World-class twin-turbo V8

Effortless acceleration

Don’t Like

Annoyingly wide door sills

MBUX complexities

Overeager brakes

Nestled between the GLE63’s front fenders is a 4.0-liter twin-turbocharged V8. Hand assembled by the craftspeople in Affalterbach, Germany, this jewel of an engine is smoother than creamy peanut butter, delivering a stomping 603 horsepower and 627 pound-feet of torque, more than enough to put the hurt on rivals like the Audi RS Q8 and BMW X6 M. That’s also enough sauce to rocket this coupe-ish crossover to 60 mph in just 3.7 seconds and onward to a terminal velocity of 174 mph, though curiously, the GLE63 S doesn’t feel as quick as the numbers suggest. This Mercedes is so refined and quiet you’re almost always going at least 10 mph faster than you think, even when the active exhaust system is uncorked.

Helping deliver that performance is the automaker’s EQ-Boost 48-volt mild-hybrid system, which provides up to 21 horsepower and 184 lb-ft of torque. EQ-Boost also smooths out gearchanges and aids with regenerative braking. The system’s integrated starter-generator is sandwiched between the engine and nine-speed transmission, where it takes up little space. The whole shebang is pretty much invisible; the only time you’re really aware of EQ-Boost is during engine stop-start events, which are some of the smoothest in the business.

That transmission changes gears with sports-car immediacy and is very responsive to requests from the paddle shifters. Still, its performance can be somewhat irregular, particularly at low speeds where there’s often a slight disconnect between the accelerator pedal and what the gearbox is doing. The vehicle’s overeager brakes are also a bit bothersome. With the front rotors measuring nearly 16 inches in diameter, their stopping power is undeniable, they’re just a bit too touchy in everyday driving.

Active Roll Stabilization along with adaptive damping, an air suspension and even active engine mounts are new additions for 2021, and together they keep the GLE63 S Coupe’s body flatter than Florida while tackling corners. The suspension does a commendable job delivering a good ride, though I’d like to feel a little more delineation between the various settings. Comfort is firm yet nicely isolated, but cranking it up to Sport or Sport Plus doesn’t make the ride all that much stiffer. You’ll feel road imperfections to be sure, but they’re never pounding.

This engine is a real honey.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

The GLE63 S Coupe is well balanced and feels luxury-car refined even in its starchiest settings. Unfortunately, the steering is forgettably ordinary. It’s light and a bit imprecise, which is no help in a vehicle that doesn’t track very well. This Mercedes tends to wander, even on smooth, straight pavement, which means you have to make course corrections to avoid kissing the lines and irritating the lane-keeping system. Roadshow social media editor Daniel Golson made the same comment in his review of the similar but less potent 2021 GLE53 Coupe, which also rolled on staggered-width AMG wheels, though the ones on this example are 1 inch smaller in diameter, clocking in at just 21 inches.

Given its emphasis on sportiness, you can’t expect great fuel economy from this Mercedes. Accordingly, it stickers at 15 miles per gallon city and 19 mpg highway, however, in pretty heavy-footed driving, I’ve managed to average around 18.4, a good bit better than the combined rating of 17 mpg.

As a top-shelf luxury vehicle, this Mercedes comes with a broad complement of driver-assistance tech. Adaptive LED headlamps with automatic high beams, active parking assist and blind-spot monitoring are all standard equipment. The $1,950 Driver Assistance Package Plus throws features like active lane-change assist, rear cross-traffic alert, traffic-sign recognition and adaptive cruise control with lane centering into the mix, and that last item works phenomenally well. The GLE63 S Coupe’s adaptive cruise control is super smooth and more situationally aware than an undercover police officer. It seemingly always knows what’s going on and how to respond, plus the lane-centering feature is one of the best I’ve ever experienced, making the vehicle track practically like a monorail.

A couple things could be improved, but this interior is a pleasant place no matter which seat you’re in.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

This Mercedes-AMG’s interior is a lovely place, rife with premium leathers, laser-straight stitching and no shortage of amenities including standard heated and ventilated front seats, which are as comfortable as a La-Z-Boy recliner. A Burmester sound system is included, too, as is wireless phone charging and embedded navigation. Unfortunately, some of the GLE63 S Coupe’s interior elements aren’t quite as nice as they should be for a vehicle that starts at $117,000. Nothing is insultingly low-rent, but the climate controls, gear-selector and turn-signal stalks as well as some of the secondary switches just don’t feel six-figure sturdy.

When it comes to interior tech, you get a pair of 12.3-inch displays mounted in a single housing that runs across most of the dashboard. One of these screens serves as a reconfigurable digital instrument cluster, the other handles infotainment duties. For better or worse, the familiar MBUX multimedia array is how you interact with many of the vehicle’s features. This system is both pretty and performant, though it’s not my favorite. It offers way too much functionality and feels like it requires a keyboard and mouse to properly use, which is not what you want while driving. Fortunately, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto are standard, and Mercedes has not switched to hyper-annoying touch-sensitive control pads on the steering wheel like it has on some of its other vehicles, including the E450 All Terrain — at least, not yet.

The Mercedes-AMG GLE63 S Coupe is a lot like a batch of dough that didn’t rise. Next to the conventional GLE SUV, its roof is noticeably deflated. That tapering top adds visual pizzazz, though, it eats into cargo space and rear-seat headroom, but these deficits don’t ruin the vehicle, not by any stretch. Second-row noggin space is reduced by 1.8 inches, but there’s still plenty, even for taller adults. Cargo space behind the aft bench clocks in at 27.5 cubic feet, which swells to 63.2 cubes when you fold the rear backrest down. In comparison, the GLE63 S serves up 39.3 and 74.9 cubic feet, respectively. Judging between these two utility vehicles is like comparing pitas to baguettes, breads that are clearly different form factors but both are delicious.

Unless you need as much cargo space as possible, the GLE63 S Coupe is a perfectly versatile utility vehicle.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE63 S Coupe’s base price is just about $117,000, or about 40 grand more than the less potent GLE53 Coupe. As for this example, it checks out for $131,430 including requisite delivery fees, which total $1,050. A few options pad the bottom line, things like that $1,950 driver-assistance package, a head-up display ($1,100), the fancier Burmester High-End Surround Sound System ($4,550) and the Warmth and Comfort Package ($1,050), to name a few.

With thundering performance, a comfortable and refined cabin, plus plenty of style both inside and out, the coupe-ified crossover is well-rounded and surprisingly livable. If you value style over capaciousness get the GLE63 S Coupe, but if versatility matters more, stick with the standard GLE SUV. Either way, you can’t go wrong.

[thegreenhorseman]

If you missed yesterday’s novel about Equine Affaire, catch up by following this link. The article looks at my newcomer’s perspective as I attended my very first Equine Affaire.  It was a great time and I was able to catch three of the four days before returning home.  Since there’s so much to cover I only managed to cover a glimpse of the event yesterday.  Today I’m diving in a bit further to look at some of the vendors from the trade-show.  There must have been a couple hundred booths, and I made sure to walk by every single one.  I stopped at many and spoke with lots of people.

My list doesn’t rank the “top vendors” but from a personal standpoint these are the few that really stood out during my trip.  These vendors engaged with me and maybe I learned something or they might have simply impressed me.

Yucc’ It Up:  This product made it’s official launch at Equine Affaire and the booth was run by creators and owners Daryl Anne and her husband, Craig.  Daryl Anne is clearly passionate about her work and knowledgeable along with it.  I love working with this type of person because I have more confidence that things will be done right and with integrity.  We had a great conversation about equine nutrition and she showed me pictures of her bay mare.   After learning about the benefits of yucca schidigera I was convinced.  Although I should have bought the month’s supply I decided to start with the 3-day trial.  I will be reviewing this product later on to explain the product in greater detail once I’ve done more research.

Blue Seal:  I have never once considered Blue Seal as a feed for Blade, but after talking with the reps I no longer have an aversion to the products.  I am very particular about where my feed comes from because I worry about contamination and toxicity.  Fortunately I learned that the Blue Seal plant in my area does not carry any medicated bovine feeds on premises.  They had a raffle entry using the tablets, a spin-the-wheel game where I won a pair of earbuds, and I also took home a good portion of Sentinel Grow and Excel.  The booth was very visible and interactive.  The reps were friendly and happy to help.  Of course I’ll need to research the product on my own but it was very nice to have some people to speak with while I was there.

  Equinutrix:  I spoke with a rep named Katie who was very friendly.  I felt terrible because she had just sat down to a delicious looking gyro (which I thought about for 2 days until I finally bought one Saturday afternoon).  She happily spoke with me about the products and learned about my horse so she could recommend the right products.  From Katie I learned that the owner of Equinutrix is a nutritionist and offers consultations.  I was stunned to learn that she’d let me take home not one but TWO samples; ZenRG and Gastro-MFR. I was doubly surprised when she told me they would last a couple WEEKS.  Usually a sample is only a serving or two and doesn’t make a difference, but two weeks I might actually see some benefit to my horse.  This is another product you can expect to see in my reviews in the coming weeks/months.

Foxden Equine: I met Jacob, the marketing and Quality Control manager at Foxden Equine.  Although he is tasked with a lot of responsibilities within the company I was really impressed with him and the products; I have heard of Quiessence before but not the others.  He happily provided me with a sample of TractGard for Blade because he knows the struggles of the thoroughbred gut.  Yet another product I get to review for you!  Aren’t we lucky?!  We also discussed a new product that I’m really interested in.  I will have to contact him to get more information but it is aimed to help the hindgut as well so stay tuned.

  Omega Cure: I spoke with a woman at this booth who gave me a sample not of the equine products but of the human products.  Omega cure is a cod liver oil and she handed me a small medicine cup with a few drops of the oil.  I decided to send it “down the hatch” and quickly realized how pleasant the taste was.  It didn’t have any extra flavorings, it was just nice.  She explained that most fish oils have a level of rancidity that causes the after taste and the foul smell…Makes sense.  They also offer chocolates, cookies, and Wellpride for horses that all contain the essential omega fatty acids with DHA.

Finish Line Fencing: I spoke with a wonderful and knowledgeable man at this booth who didn’t see me as “too young” and actually gave me the time of day like a few other fencing and structure vendors.  I explained to him my situation and he explained to me his product.  I was impressed with how durable this type of fencing is.  The best part?  His 15% off show discount doesn’t end with the show.  This company recognizes that timing is important.  By giving him my email address he assured me a 15% discount for the next 6-12 months so that when I start my search I can use that benefit.  I will absolutely be looking them up in the next few months as I begin some projects in 2018.

Stabul Nuggets: The team selling this product was so helpful.  Stabul nuggets are treats, but they are nutritionally balanced and low in sugar.  They are perfect for any horse, even those with insulin resistance and Cushings.  I also appreciate that no iron is added to the treats because our region tends to run high in it already and it inhibits absorption of other important elements like copper and zinc. While standing at the booth I could smell the treats through the bag and they smelled wonderful!  The six flavors available are fenugreek, strawberry, peppermint, peanut, pina colada, and banana.  I learned that the flavors were chosen because they were ranked most preferred by horses.  I bought a 5 pound bag of pina colada to start so look for these in my future reviews!

  Honorable mentions

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At these vendors I was impressed with the products but nobody really bothered to engage with me while I was there.  The ladies at hybrid halter did actually speak with me and engage with me, so if I continued my list they’d be right up there with the others.  I hope to someday purchase the leather hybrid halter but I simply didn’t have the $100 for it at the time.

The Horse Education Company (Hybrid Halter)

Dark Horse Chocolates – The Seabiscuit samples were delicious!

Ben Risney Woodcarving – This artist is so talented, if the budget allows for it someday I hope to bring one of his masterpieces home.  I was in awe of his attention to detail.

Haychix – I love these haynets….they are more expensive but after using them at a friend’s farm I can tell you they are USA made and the quality outlasts most other brands.

Equinature – I was really intrigued by the anti-bug and anti-static products but unfortunately was unable to speak with anyone about them.  My sensitive gelding still hates blanket removal because he gets shocked every time.  I have tried dryer sheets and static spray but nothing has helped so far.  I may do some research and give this a whirl.

YOUR TURN!

Did you go to Equine Affaire this year in Massachusetts?  Or maybe in Ohio a few months ago?

Please leave your favorite and most memorable vendors in the comments below!

My 7 Most Memorable Vendors at Equine Affaire If you missed yesterday's novel about Equine Affaire, catch up by following this link. The article looks at my newcomer's perspective as I attended my very first Equine Affaire.