#people can get kinda weird about this stuff so im just trying to cut to the point

[noisytenant]

summarizing some things since there are supposedly more non-english-speaking artists joining tumblr:

"CP" stands for couple, NOT "child porn"

Shipping names often are order-specific, so block both orders (eg "narusasu" and "sasunaru" are distinct)

In JPN, 地雷 (jirai, lit. landmine) is the common term for sensitive/triggering topics, so if you see it in a bio, know what to expect. idk how this works in other languages

After you've blocked a user, you can add their username to your filters to ensure you see nothing from them

Reconsider replying with negative-valence memey things that can't be well-translated (eg. "screaming crying throwing up") since it might read as insulting

Be nice

[bmpmp3]

I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away

[maxlarens]

(idk how concepts work) would love your thoughts on Oscar trying to flirt especially when Logan/Lando/Alex/George are around

under the cut because i went ON and ON

aaooh so first of all i think oscar is a terrible flirter. or at least the typical idea of flirting. he cannot say a pick up line with any level of seriousness. he blushes too much. just can’t do the suave smooth thing at all on purpose.

i think his idea of flirting is sarcastic jokes, teasing sorry so like exactly how he talks to lando and being near you— like sitting so your arms are touching, or randomly playing with strands of ur hair, that kind of thing! and occasionally pulling out a veering-on-suggestive comment or complimenting you, but that would come after being friends i think.

anyway. i think the pressure of other people would make it soo much worse for him. he can flirt with u enough when it’s just the two of you, push boundaries and get closer and all that stuff. but when his friends are around ohmygod it would be bad.

lando and logan would be THE WORST culprits. i can see oscar trying something that just doesn’t land super well and logan snorts into his drink or lando starts giggling😭 i think they’d be paying attention to you two Always, trying to manufacture situations where oscar can shoot his shot or just keeping an eye on how it’s going. and they’re soo well meaning about it because they want oscar to be happy but it doesn’t really help because oscar is SUCHH a slow burn kinda guy. idk i just see it taking a while, lots of subtle things building up into something u eventually can’t ignore. i think he’s very happy to meet the relationship where it’s at.

lando would absolutely try to push oscars buttons by making flirty comments at u and when oscar is like BRO? lando just tells him to make a move if it bothers him so much. logan would not do that but he’d be very content to take the absolute piss out of you and oscar. publicly and privately. and he would not stifle his instinct to laugh at you two whatsoever. you spend the whole time thinking that logan’s got something wrong with him😭

and okay on george and alex. i think they’d be less ~in tune~ with the whole thing because lando and logan probably know oscar better. but im torn between whether i think george or alex would catch on immediately. mm yeah actually i think george might clock it right away— like take one look at the two of you and go oh okay they’ve got mega crushes on each other and neither of them quite know it. BUTTT i think alex would be the only one brave enough to say something to your faces. you’d be having dinner or lunch or something with them all and you and oscar would be sitting next to each other giggling, playing ur usual game of chicken 😭 and alex just point blank goes: “so are you guys dating yet or what”

and you would both go TOTALLY red and lando and logan would spend the rest of the meal laughing their heads off. and i think after that you’d have to finally acknowledge it lol.

but anyway, i kinda didn’t get into this, but i think oscar would just be a stuttering mess while trying to flirt with u when others are around. stumbling over his words, making awkward jokes that reveal a little too much, staring at u too long, weird lingering touches, LAUGHING TOO LOUD. he’d be fine if the conversation were about something entirely normal, but if it starts veering into anything about relationships in general/you/dating/etc… mm yeah poor boy would not survive.

[crushedsweets]

Who are the people that Toby likes the most?

Natalie, Jack, and Ben!

Toby has known Natalie for about 5 years, and Jack for 4, and Ben for 3. ok now im gonna do long ass headcanons for their relationships bc im just soooooooo silly . .

toby and natalie knew eachother when they were at the height of like.. using murder as a relief/power trip. it was a really sick and fucked up thing to bond over, and it wasnt something either of them took lightly or as a joke. but it was something they did talk about, moreso 'let me tell you about my night' and they'd kinda just allude to the murder part of it. eventually, natalie stopped killing as much (and stuck strictly to freak weirdo men at bars/clubs who try taking advantage of ppl). toby doesn't have the luxury to stop bc he only did it when the situation/order calls for it.

they usually just lounge around together. watch trash reality tv, natalie was ashamed of her art for a while but toby loves getting her to show him her stuff. toby taught her how to axe throw and cut down trees. he helped fix up the barn she stays in so it's actually livable. he even got brian to help with shit like insulation cuz theres no heat/ac in it. sometimes he does her hair if shes having an awful night. she never had someone to brush her hair growing up, having no mother/sister/girl friends, and finds it to be insanely fucking relaxing. lulls her to sleep so quick. it reminds toby of lyra and he cried one time after she fell asleep from it. she never found out about it.

toby was the first proxy to be nice to jack. not that tim and brian were horrible to jack (only after he was . . 'tamed' i guess). but toby was the first one to like, bring him things, talk to him, actually attempt bonding. if tobys feeling lonely and natalies not in the mood to entertain, jack was almost always welcoming. ok maybe not welcoming in the like :) hiiii toby. way. but in the. 'ok yea whatever come in i guess' way.

jack used to cook a lot before he was sacrificed. now he doesnt have the same taste buds, and while he can eat human food, its all pretty bland to him. best he can enjoy is insanely spicy stuff, and thats more sensation rather than flavor. BUT TOBY. that fucking dude can EAT. he's brought like a fat steak and veggies and rice and random shit to jacks and asked him to make him dinner. and oddly enough jack was willing to do it. toby continued to do that stuff. jack didnt know about tobys CIPA for a while and was baffled when this white boy from rural colorado could actually handle the spice anytime jack made south asian food LOL.. ("how much spice do you want" "i dont care make it as spicy as you like" "toby are you sure of this" "yeah i can take it").

of the 3, toby is the least close to ben. mostly bc ben is best fucking friends w jeff and toby doesnt like jeff very much(who does?). plus toby figured ben was like a kid and wasnt exactly crazy about being besties with a 12 yr old. But then ben played some video games with him. ben doesnt really Act like an. ipad fortnite tiktok middle shcool type of kid so toby was like Oh he's cool i guess.!

they dont have much in common at all tbh, didnt have similar childhoods and toby didnt play many video games growing up. BUT toby finds so much joy in just having a fucking boyish childish fun stupid relationship where he could play video games and talk shit and eat like crap with yk. they have a very brotherly friendship and it's kinda weird for toby being on the big sibling side of something, but he's fond of it. they get into petty arguments about stupid shit, and went a while without talking bc toby punched jeff and jeff was bitching like 'uumm dont hang out with that prick' and ben was like lmfao ok. toby didnt even realize ben wasnt talking to him tho. . ("hey sorry i was avoiding u jeff was bitching" "u were avoiding me ?????")

[bwbawa]

hello, so I'm questioning if I'm autistic so i can reach out for a diagnosis maybe, and i saw another person do this so i wanted to try it out

i wrote a list of some of the things i think that are autistic traits about me and if anyone would like to please read them and tell me if they could be autism or maybe smth else? lol, just as a big favour really. I'll give more context if any is needed, thanks so much!!

also please reblog for reach if you want to, thank you

ts bellow the cut :]

- stimming ( twirling and braiding hair, used to suck on my own hair as a kid, rocking back and forth, doing ??? weird stuff with ny mouth and fingers lol, moving legs a lot)

- echolalia; internal, repeating phrases and songs on my head, but also doing sounds with my mouth

- always feeling like an outsider. This wasn't bad for me as a kid since i was very into creepypastas and media related to being an outcast, i never related it to something bad until adolescence which im still in, and I'm more insecure now about it.

- also, very extroverted as a kid, didn't get social cues and was offensive sometimes

- couldn't and still can't control my strength very well ( sometimes things fall out of my hands or i touch someone harder than i wanted to)

- sensitive skin, to heat cold and pain

- very talkative, as a baby was LITERALLY born babbling

- not good at eye contact, either do way too much or way too little

- terrible at maths (jst not logical to me??? dk how people find them logical )

- kinda restrictive interests but no special interests

- very picky as a child, fav foods were salted noodles with ketchup or by themselves. ( still can't stand some foods and mixing some foods together )

- horrible coordination and balance: didn't learn to tie my shoes correctly, how to ride a bike or how to swim, i bought wheelies and cant use them because my balance is horrible, i run weird (like a baby kind of) and I'm always stumbling on my own feet

- again, didn't learn some stuff until grown: didn't know how to shower correctly or make my bed ( could be due to being very taken care of as a kid, aka my mom didn't let me do stuff by myself )

- terrible spacial awareness: again, stumbling with my own feet, waddling like a penguin when i walk with my friends lol

- bad perception of time

- got upset when things didn't go my way

- ran away when kids were being too loud but didn't mind big performances loud spaces

loud THUDS or sudden noises however startle me, scare me and stress me out: was and still am kind of afraid of balloons, shouting people and loud thuds. As a baby i cried when someone spoke too loudly

- lately I'm much more sensitive to stimuli than i was, could be due to heightened stress in my life: badly done beds make me want to cry, crumbs on the bed feel like hell, heat and sweating are hell, some months ago i cried because my sunglasses and headphones weren't working and there were too many sounds, my head it hurted and everything felt wrong, sent me into a kind of crisis.

- don't think I'm overly empathetic, but i have a strong sense of justice and get very upset and ill about injustices.

related to that, movies and shows that require a lot of stress i don't like, they make me feel ill and i prefer spoilers when it's like that, i get too nervous.

- socially awkward and don't know how to keep conversations going, at least small talk.

- although i used to talk a lot, nowadays i prefer to stay quiet sometimes.

- i get VERY angry and frustrated but it goes away kind of quickly?

-i used to be very loud and I still dont know how to control my tone of voice ( how loud or quiet i am) and i spoke in a very high pitched voice as a child

- i used to read a lot, went to the library in the recess instead of hanging out all the time with kids and used some complicated words that my parents didn't know i knew

- all my life i only had one close friend ( not the same, but always one)

- i think i had a specific routine of morning

- i have a hard time concentrating and being organized

- i make plans for myself in the night and get upset when OTHERS interrupt it but not when i do

- hard time knowing when to pee and when to eat

- again sensory issues, some foods make me want to puke, and wet, sticky or extremely dry hands are disgusting. Also, light touches feel like anger.

- as a kid I repeatedly watched stuff, ended up boring my family because i only wanted to watch that multiple times

- sensory seeker as a kid kind of, slept with my feet up, danced a lot (stimming?)

-i get irritated easily and can hurt people verbally

- don't know if related but i sometimes very anxious, get upset about not saying goodbye correctly to certain people, as a kid i used to cry and didnt want to go to school because of a "bad feeling" that smth bad was gonna happen, could be anxiety.

i absolutely sure there's more, but I don't wanna keep typing

just to finish, most of my circle is neurodivergent. And family wise, my sister is audhd, one cousin and uncle are autistic, my mom has adhd and two of my cousins are suspected autistic.

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

ohh holy shit ren tell me abt pearl and scar in the apocalypse au. I haven’t read through all the posts abt it just the main explanation but tell me more. Who do you think breaks first out of mumbo and grian? Who stops trying first? ohhh what the hell you can’t keep doing this to me . Please keep doing it but like ohhhhh -🤖

HI IM SO EXCITED I GET TO TALK ABOUT THIS AU AGAIN

LONG POST AHEAD UNDER THE CUT:

Pearl: I put more info about the side/background characters here but something I didn't mention about her is that she is VERY protective of Grian, and when Mumbo causes Grian pain (unintentionally) she gets very angry and almost violent with him. She's always kind of around, even though she doesn't show herself very often. Most of the time she's out pretending to be human - either hunting humans or trying to learn more about them so she can blend in even better. She just kinda does it all so much better than Grian can, lol.

Scar: little freak of a man. He and Cub walked into a wormhole and came back Weird. Mumbo thinks Scar is dead because Grian can mimic his screams and Outsiders only tend to do that with dead people (because copying someone who is still alive is... kind of pointless). Scar and Mumbo were coworkers, and Scar sees Mumbo as a friend, but Mumbo is too much of a lonely little loser to realise he has friends. Anyway, Scar's genetic information got all shuffled about in that wormhole and now he's unusual. A bit vex-y. He might have a hunger for human flesh--

Who breaks first? Ermmmm. So I talked to Ange about this and... neither of us can actually remember. BUT I believe Mumbo breaks down about The Apocalypse and also Grian attacking him that one time. And. Stuff. Which causes Grian to push himself to look and act more human - which hurts him and eventually leads him to break down too, stealing Mumbo's crying sounds because he doesn't know how else to express his sorrow.

Grian abandons Mumbo because he doesn't want to scare him anymore, and he has a big breakdown in the middle of the woods alone, letting himself get hurt by other monsters. But eventually he returns to Mumbo when Mumbo is attacked by yet another monster. Pearl is properly introduced and is So Mad About These Idiots. But sees how much Grian cares and tries to get them to make up.

They try to reconcile but Mumbo eventually leaves in search of other humans - he can't just be around a monster forever. This is where he finds Xisuma and other survivors. Grian follows him. Eventually Mumbo finds Grian again and suggests they go to the suvivor's place together, with Grian disguised as a human. (Mumbo still doesn't really comprehend how much that Hurts Grian, but Grian complies anyway). And nothing bad happens (lie).

ANYWAY. THIS AU HAS A STONE GRIP ON ME AND ANGE. IT LIVES IN OUR HEADS RENT FREE.

[thxnks4themrms]

I just realized I never properly made an intro for myself so under the cut is where you can find it :)

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Hi! Since I can't come up with a nickname for myself right now you can kinda just call me Vampy because I can't really think of anything else rn. Anyways, to make things easier I'll just write most of the basic stuff in bullet points :)

I’m Cambodian (Asian)

I use she/her and they/them pronouns

My favorite colors are pink and black

I’m an INFJ

I’m a Sagittarius

I love music - metal and rock to be specific

I like reading

I love horror movies

I enjoy things like taxidermy and bones

I’m bi and polyamorous

I’m Buddhist

I’m 13 which makes me a silly minor 😋😋

I literally have the best lovers ever <33

I love you Mikey Way

Bands / Artist I listen To The Most <3

My Chemical Romance - and their side projects

Fall Out Boy

Paramore

Pre-split Panic! At The Disco

Arctic Monkeys

The Last Shadow Puppets

Mitski

Lana Del Rey

Korn

Slipknot

Limp Bizkit

Blink - 182

Dazey And The Scouts

Weezer

Pierce The Veil

Radiohead

The Smashing Pumpkins

The Smiths

The Cure

Këkht Aräkh

The Neighborhood

TV Girl

Waterparks

Mötley Crüe

Queen

Nirvana

The Offspring

6arelyhuman

KMFDM

Okay so now that I’ve said a little about myself I plan on doing more stuff to this blog but that’ll be coming in 2024 :p but other than that here’s my dni list and when more stuff comes it’ll be here :D

Thin Ice <\3 (PLEASE DONT BE MAD IM SORRY)

Swifties

Harry Styles fans

Billie Eilish fans

Wet leg fans

DNI <\3

Homophobes

Racist

Transphobes

Ppl who fetishize homosexuality

Ppl who fetishize Asians

Rcta

Rude ppl in general

Ppl who force their religion on others

Ppl who have stuff to say about politics (this is mainly a music blog :’) plz don’t bring heavy/sensitive topics into this)

Animal haters

MANIA AND DANGER DAYS HATERS

2019 GERARD HATERS

LANA AFTER HER CHANGES HATERS

RAY TORO HATERS

People who listen / support nsbm

WAYCEST/PROSHIPPERS GET THE FUCK OUT YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED

People who are siding with Melanie Martinez and not hearing both sides of the Mel/timothy sa situation

People of any age can’t interact with me I don’t mind at all :))

WARNINGS

This blog will contain things that some people may find disturbing or uncomfortable. Things under this could include:

Blood/gore

Images of cemeteries/graveyards

Eerie/dark images in general

I do post a lot of shit sometimes that mention things about sex, substances, and a lot of other things I DONT recommend / encourage minors use - when I say stuff that mentions stuff like that im joking pls don’t take it seriously 😭😭😭

If you don’t like these things please don’t get upset! I’ll try my best to add tw for the things listed above. If you spot anything on my blog that you think might need a tw then feel free to dm me or put it in my inbox :)

Just so you know

This blog isn’t my main blog this is actually my side blog - my main is @tousyposay so don’t be kinda weirded out by that :p

My additional side blogs include:

@blxxdbxgs - a place where i simp over nurse Gerard

@urmyfavexplosion - my blog where i choose one album and post that for an entire month or some shit like that

MY SOCIALLLLSSSS

TikTok - edgelordbolos

Insta - bolosisagirlkisser

Discord - vxmpywllnvrhrtu

Airbuds - sophalbolos

Man I can’t think of any other of my blogs ☠️☠️☠️ I’ll add them when I remember

Sorry if I upset any of you guys I really hope I didn’t mean to :(

Anyways that’s all I have to say for rn but thanks so much! I’ll be adding more to this as the days go on but for now thanks :)

Have a good day/night I love you guys so much! <3

-Vampy

[cathartic-crypt]

Does Casper have any special ghoul traits? I know ferals tend to not attack ghouls but they also follow and seek out feral glowing ones!

So does he have something like that where like, ghouls maybe see him as a dead reanimated ghoul and steer clear? Or would they react like he has more/less authority?

in terms of being treated differently by other ghouls...he isnt really. most of the time hes around other ghouls when he, himself, looks like one - so he just kinda blends into the crowd. he doesnt have any sense of authority and he tries his best to not stick out too much >.> doesnt want any unnecessary attention...and doesnt want any questions about who he is and where hes from either

(heads up im using this ask as an excuse to ramble about how he functions)

now when it comes to special ghoul traits....Sorta! hes SUPER reactive to radiation. like if he stands in something heavily irradiated and gets a cut itll close up almost instantly

!warning for talks about gore/decomposition below

ok this is less a special trait and more of a Nuisance...but casper isnt always human-like. and of course to get from one state to another theres a transitional period...

fresh: this is the stage where hes the most human like :) he breathes, blinks, eats and sleeps. the only 'off' detail about him is that every old scar (the significant ones) look freshly healed. pale pink and clean. he needs frequent doses of radiation to stay like this - and has to stay away from people for 1-2 hours freshly after stocking up because he'll set off any geiger counter in the vicinity. during this state hes quite social and has the confidence to enter the strip and meet new people. pretty much trying to do as much as possible cause he knows it wont last forever (usually around a week)

rotting: now this is the interesting stage....this is the weird transitional period where hes actively decaying. skin slipping and losing muscles included. old scars begin to tear open and discolouration starts at the fingertips/toes/spine and blooms out. in the earlier stages of this state, his body can still heal itself to a degree. he stitches up any old/new wounds to keep them closed just long enough for it to start healing/find a new source of radiation. its not the most effective but it helps. of course in the later stages, when hes teetering closer to being a ghoul than human, theres no use in stitching anything together cause most of the skin is gone

during this time when hes actively decaying he distances himself from others - and leaves new vegas. usually in this time he picks up a job/assignment to scavenge for any pre-war stuff from abandoned buildings to make himself feel somewhat useful. hes also actively searching for anything radioactive to heal himself, which is why his assignments can sometimes take weeks...because hes waiting for his body to rebuild itself before coming back from the job

this stage is something hes incredibly insecure about. he hates seeing his body decay and rot, and he fights to feel human. when hes around the public hes covered in clothes from head to toe, usually through the use of facewraps and multiple layers. he doesnt want anyone to see him

necrotic: this is just the ghoul stage, when hes pretty low on radation and his body has lost all ability to fix itself. his heart stops beating and he stops breathing (his body sometimes still does the motions of breathing without actually needing to, its a force of habit). despite being a ghoul with leathery skin and tense muscle, hes not weak. hes still got his strength and has his usual eyesight, his voice is still normal. once he reaches this point he doesnt care too much about what he looks like, and dresses like normal. however he refuses to go to the strip or to new businesses - and even sometimes gives out a fake name so no one recognises him

oh and because youve read this far have some doodles :D

[kozykricket]

havent been very active on tumblr, for no reason in particular. anyways, as a risk of rain fan, i must clarify my opinions on the SOTS release

i think we can all agree on "the dlc is great content"

but anyways, its clear to me that the devs are people who care and are passionate about ROR as a series and about keeping ror2 going as well. i mean, hopoo and ghor have said as much! and their community manager seems nice i really dont blame the actual DLC team, because like. its always rude to just point fingers at the people who are just doin' darn good work. point fingers at the executive decision makers i think uh, the unification of console and pc code is... well, ill miss the old codebase, but honestly? the fact they've rewritten the games code from the ground up basically... tells me that they're in it for the long-ish haul. that they dont want to just drop ror2. they want to make their own basis that they can cleanly work on and continue this game into its second life of sorts i guess its like a soft reset of development - everythings jank like early access now. but itll get better is the current ror team the best at making decisions for the game? maybe not, but i really dont think they're malicious

its funny though, because the 2 things i was worried about was "oh gearbox is totally gonna mess up the lore with weird inconsistencies and it wont feel right, and they'll add powercreep" but honestly. imma be real, knowing some stuff ghor has said about his intentions behind the lore (shoutouts to Ghor btw, hes done so much for both the lore and the... well, the creation and foundation of risk of rain 2s codebase as a whole. the more i look into ghor, the more i realize he truly is mr ror2) anyways knowing his intentions with certain things, i can say... the Anniversary Update and SOTV actually messed up lore more than SOTS has, lol. the lores well done in SOTV. the non-lore-important logs kinda suck though, they're clearly unfinished. but i think... what they lacked was Time. Time, to complete the clean unification of code ... and for general polish. so i say we give them what randy pitchfork didnt. lets give them time, aight? im not super happy with the idea of a ror2: bedrock edition future, but... i think if the right balancing tweaks are done, then things can look pretty bright. and they do seem to want to listen to the community (though i doubt randy pitchfork wants them to. heck CEOs)

and as for powercreep? lmao we got the opposite, the items are almost too underpowered.

AS for the dlc content, i think seeker is goated. really fun character to play. chef is... undercooked tbh, jank m1. still havent gotten the third survivor, though i know who it is, and seems pretty well done minus the lack of visual and audio feedback / game-feel i think the stages are fantastic, the music is as always banger, and honestly the items are like. really CLOSE to being interesting. like noxious thorn? a green item that plays with debuffs? very cool. but why is it "on taking damage" and. i dunno, instead of adding more stacks of debuffs, i'd make it spread those debuffs to more enemies! knockback fin should be turned into a void of stun grenade if you have both DLCs on, tbh. so yeah, im. cautiously optimistic for the future. dont fall for all of the doomerisms that the youtubers are trying to spread - they're doing that to apply pressure to gearbox, mostly. which is fair, but its also fearmongering kinda. and like actual devs dont seem too concerned for the games future im just hoping that everyone who has been involved with ror2... has a good future. i dont want gearbox to just cut off the ror2 team, and i hope ghor can find whatever he needs

[yuridovewing]

Honestly it's kinda weird to me how people refuse to hold specifically Ivypool and Blossomfall to a higher standard for how they treat their sisters. I've seen recent pushback claiming it's only misogyny (or in the case of Ivypool because she isn't a 'perfect victim') and like sure, in some cases the hate is because someone is being misogynistic or mad they aren't perfect victims after their stint in the Dark Forest. But not everyone who dislikes those two is doing it in bad faith, and it kinda feels like an oversimplification to say that.

Neither Blossomfall or Ivypool face any consequences from their sisters for how they treated them- even in extreme cases like Ivypool throwing the SkyClan rescue party under the bus explicitly because Dovewing and Tigerheart volunteered together, we aren't supposed to be angry at her- Twigbranch going 'Well I guess since crossclan relationships are the worst thing you can ever do it's okay the mentor I was supposed to be able to trust prevented a formal search for my birth Clan when she knew how important it was to me because she's still beefing with her sister :)' says as much. And almost every time they argue, Dovewing usually is the one making the most effort to amend things. Blossomfall's grudge against Briarlight is never resolved- I could be forgetting but I don't think she ever even apologizes. So is it any wonder people would want Briarlight and Dovewing to cut their sisters off- or at the very least until Ivypool and Blossomfall stopped their toxic behavior? IDK man, again I'm not denying there are bad faith criticisms on the basis that they're female characters but I wish people would accept that Ivypool and Blossomfall aren't good sisters at all and rarely do anything to actually better themselves (or their relationships with their siblings) because the Erins simply don't think it's a problem to begin with.

totally agree with you on people using “it’s just misogyny” as an oversimplified defense for criticism. like, yeah, in some cases, its people being too harsh on the female characters compared to their male counterparts. i won’t deny there’s misogyny in play with some people who hate ivypool and blossomfall, i think it’s good to keep that in mind when trying to criticize the series that like… would we hold a male character accountable for what we’re criticizing the female character for? like if mousewhisker or whoever was in blossomfall’s shoes, would more people like him?

but there’s that, and then there’s just “well you just hate ivypool because you hate female characters”.

i think what really bothers me about that defense in these cases is that the fandom has a big history of putting down the female characters around ivypool or blossomfall in order to prop them up. like, the hate ivypool gets here and there is just not comparable to the sheer vitriol dovewing got. blossomfall having haters here and there is sorta weak compared to the ableism lobbed at briarlight. (and if im feeling kinda brave…. millie as well… like. she’s abusive to briarlight, and narratively she’s far worse than blossomfall ever is, but let’s not pretend people weren’t super weird about her “stealing” graystripe and the blossomfall stuff was just another excuse to rant about how millie is a useless deadweight character who deserves to be maimed for ruining the childhood ship, as opposed to actually being mad at her toxicity. like i never saw a single person until recently criticize how she treated briarlight, just that she’s a big ol’ bitch for snapping at blossomfall)

to say the only reason why anyone would be uncomfortable with these characters is misogyny or abuse apologism is just to be really surface level, because to prop these characters up, people are often shitty to the other female abuse victim characters. and i’m not saying people who love them are ableist misogynistic abuse apologists, because that’s just silly at the end of the day (i know plenty of people who love these characters because of how nuanced they can be in the right hands) hell, i don’t even necessarily think these characters are “abusive”, just toxic and poorly handled by the narrative. i just wish more people would acknowledge how these characters are treated vs. how the “other side” gets treated.

[autisticlio]

I guess while I am rambling about Promare, here is some analysis I made regarding Lio in October.

Text vers under cut

in regards to promare stuff, I was editing the wiki page for the one burnish prison and kinda thought about how lio reacts to thyma waking up like the instant meis points it out, he hurries to her side and crouches next to her

like that tells me that lio is such a caring person cause he sees this poor woman and immediately hurries to comfort her

at this point, he doesn't even know her name. it's a similar thing with the kids where the instant he sees them, he is shocked at the implications of that and stops being annoyed at the guards

lio is so kind when he wants to be. it's just he doesn't show it that much cause how much he gets beaten up in the film and doesn't fully open up to Galo until the lio de galon fightlike he gathered all these burnish and made a little hideout for them to feel safe, he gets groceries himself for them, he plays with the kids in the art book. he is such a good leader figureik the kakusei scene everyone tends to focus on, but there's a lot of little details on how he treats the burnish that is filled with such love and kindnessobvs im not saying he's a big softie. it's more that so much of the film and outside media give these little bits of humanity he has

it's so nice to see these little details when he isn't doing his cold exterior cause he trusts the burnish fully, which is what gets him betrayed by the old man

plus after the cave scene, there's a bit where lio is leaning against the window in a truck in thought

the implication there is that he is thinking about what Galo said before about just fitting him. it could be that he tried before, or at least considered it, but knows it didn't work out that or it's a case of recalling that Galo attempted to save Thyma and Lio thinking 'hm, maybe he isn't as bad as i thought'

obvs we don't know the specific thoughts, but we know that something that Galo did has him contemplating to himself

he's also shown to be upset after trying to save Thyma. the other burnish are happy, thinking she is safe, but lio is upset likely knowing it wasn't enough

it's fun to look at these details and kinda see the gears ticking in his head cause unlike Galo, he doesn't always say what he's thinking cause he keeps to himself

people think the only way lio can be interesting if he's pissed all the time. in truth though, Lio is clever, passionate, caring, and emotive (maybe even moreso than Galo in some cases)

underneath his cold facade

the thing is Lio is only now letting himself get emotional

and it's likely thanks to the cave scene cause that scene had him open up to galo, someone non burnish for once and galo actually listened

galo willingly wanted to help save thyma knowing she's burnish

lio doesn't know that he went to confront Kray from what i recall, but he began to trust Galo so much that he's willing to protect him from kray

he is devastated when he thinks Kray managed to kill galo

i think it's so weird no one points that out

cause galo opened his eyes to letting himself be him, to take pride in himself, only to see him be flung off a mech and be shocked knowing he's likely next

like we know Galo will be fine, but lio doesn't

know if his flames were enough to protect him also like. lio also heard that kray tried to kill galo multiple times and also killed his family. he was in that scene too fjfjfn

like he heard kray rambling and was like 'wow i really hate this fucker even more'

like his story is about finding acceptance in those who care about you and letting yourself be true to yourself in a world that hates you no wonder i found out i was bi and trans because of him

[clownsalot]

uhm i come bearing milgram ocs can i come play in the sandbox with you guys 👉👈

anyways here are my silly guys!!

(im kinda too lazy to come up with my own entire prisoner roster and Es, so i basically just plopped my guys straight into canon. also, im only throwing in stuff from trial 1 because i havent really thought out trial 2 yet beyond vague ideas)

details and stuff below the cut!!!

introduction

015

t1 songs of the prisoners

No, I'm too scared to—!

t1 voice trailer

Ah, my name is Takahashi Naoto. Just Naoto is fine. I'm 18, in my graduating year of highschool. Nice to meet you, Warden. I think asking me about how I feel will just sway your decision making. It's straightforward, so let's keep it simple. Just take the facts. —"—"- What the hell...what the hell? I didn't think it would...it wasn't supposed to...

016

t1 songs of the prisoners

This is...payback!

t1 voice trailer

Yo~ I'm Hashimoto Akane. I'm 15 years old, 3rd year middle school. That makes us a similar age, doesn't it? Let's get along! Well, I will admit that what I did definitely made some people very upset. You'll be deciding if I should be punished on their behalf, right? —"—"- You deserve this. You deserve this! You're the one who chose to go that far...!

interrogation questions

Q: Family?

015: Both my parents. An older brother, too. I don't talk to them often since I stopped living with them.

016: Myself, my mom and dad, and my younger sister. She's 14, I love her very much!!

Q: Who was your victim to you?

015: A schoolmate. Her name was Asuka. You could say we were friends.

016: She wasn't anyone important to me or anything, so don't get weird ideas. I only knew about her because of my sister.

Q: How is your experience in Milgram?

015: It's not all bad. I've never had this much free time before.

016: It's alright but I still kinda want to go home. I worry about how my sister is doing...

Q: What do you dislike?

015: Just in general? Well, it doesn't matter i guess. I don't like things that are bothersome.

016: People who mistreat others for no reason. They're terrible. Terrible!

Q: Are there things you regret?

015: I try not to think about them. Regrets don't erase your mistakes, so what's the point?

016: I did everything believing it was the right choice at the time. But I wish I'd done more sooner. It would have saved my sister a lot of suffering and I might not even be here if I had.

Q: Do you have apologetic feelings for your victim?

015: You're the one responsible for judging if I should, aren't you?

016: Who knows. But I don't regret what I did.

Q: Any prisoners you're close with?

015: I'm on good terms with everyone. Though, I like talking with Kayano. He's a bit like an older sibling.

016: I like taking care of Amane and always try to look after her, we're the youngest in the prison after all. But I don't know if she likes it...

Q: Which prisoner would you say is most like you?

015: Mr Mukuhara. There's just something about him, like if he looks at me too long he'll know what I did. That he'll know that I broke a promise too.

016: Not that sure actually...maybe Kotoko?No...Kajiyama? I don't know. But Kajiyama's actually kinda nice when you get down to it, isn't that surprising? He looks out for Haruka, like I try to do for Amane.

Q: Is there a verdict you hope for?

015: That would defeat the point. I want to be judged properly by an outside perspective. Whatever you decide must be correct, right?

016: I'd like to be forgiven, since I think I did the right thing. But I know what I did also hurt others, so I understand if you choose not to forgive me.

bonus notes!!

i was thinking that the trial results would go something like:

for naoto (015) it'd be t1 guilty t2 innocent, something like fuuta. because his mv and song would be super vague and the prevalent theory would paint him in a terrible light, kinda like shidou except without the pretty privilege, and like fuuta whether he feels bad or not is hard to tell, so he gets guiltied. then somehow his trial 2 would garner him a crap ton of sympathy again like fuuta and his vote would turn around

for akane (016) it'd be t1 innocent t2 guilty, kinda like a reverse of naoto. she might be like muu or kotoko where the trial 1 paints her as super sympathetic/heroic, leading you to root for her, but in trial 2 she gets painted in a more negative light so she gets guiltied then

funny side note is that in terms of character parallels by complete accident i accidentally gave naoto like a wild number of paralles to kazui?? like i reached the 'which prisoner would you say is most like you' question, looked at it and suddenly realized, hey isn't this guy just like kazui??? it's that 'i personally relate to kazui a staggering amount' swag ig

akane's parallels were a lot harder to think of because she paralleled a lot of characters in different ways, so the way i ended up writing her response was deliberate and it's great fun to me lol.

i actually couldn't decide if akane would like fuuta or hate his guts, so i didn't include a 'who do you get along with?' question here since i didn't know how to answer it

for their names i ended up going down the 100 most common japanese surnames list on wikipedia and choosing ones that i thought fit, then put them in combination with their given names. i think what i came up with is a little morbidly funny in relation to their crimes that i still think i was kinda clever for, but i didn't write anything about their actual crimes beyond the vague hints in the interro questions, and i havent included the actual characters for their names. idk is that interesting to you guys

so anyways i was wondering if it'd be better if i elaborated on the crimes and wrote them out as it happened in another post or..? idk what do you guys think? should i continue to just be super vague about them

i did also come up with these guys with a prisoner pair theme in mind and it's supposed to be something like 'how much of yourself would you give for your loved ones' but im a little afraid that might be too similar to shidou and mahiru's theme about love? even though their crimes are vastly different i think

anyways that's it, have a nice day!! if you were interested enough to read all the way to here thank you so much <3

[aroace-poly-show]

HELLO OMG im so intrigued about hw actually and you have been talking about hw ruinene in particular so can i ask about what their history is like. what is their relationship currently. how are they doing. sorry if this question is a bit vague i can always reword it if needed!

FIRSTLY. THANK YOU OH MY GOD i’ve honestly been worried i’ve been too annoying about them dlkjfhjs BUT YAYYY SOMEONE IS INTERESTED YAHOO

anyway this is got SO FUCKING LONG so ramble is gonna be under the cut:

so to answer your question, the short answer is that they’re doing bad :D!! this is a nightcord/wxs swap after all.

for context in this swap au, rui was able to join nene’s theater group when they were younger!! nene wouldn’t join unless rui was allowed to as well, so begrudgingly the members let him join despite not liking him much bc they thought nene would be a good member. rui didn’t really want to join either, cause he could tell the members didn’t like him much, but nene really wanted him to and since didn’t want to stop her from joining, he agrees to it.

rui and the troupe don’t get along too much but they’re willing to deal with him to keep nene around and rui’s pretty content being able to do shows with nene. until nene has that fuck up on stage moment like she does in her canon past, but its made worse when rui tries to stand up for her. picture the wxs main story fight. something like that.

unfortunately the member rui ends up arguing with gets all up in rui’s face and provokes him into shoving them. the guy isn’t seriously injured or anything but that doesn’t matter much because now they have fuel for rumors to spread about him, that they knew they never should have let that weirdo kid join, they always knew he would hurt someone, etc, stuff like that. but nene’s involved too now!! given that she was his friend and ends up being the only one to stick around with him, rumors spread around her as well since not only did she ruin their show, she also hangs out with “that weirdo kid,” so she’s probably just as weird and dangerous. so they’re both stuck in this together throughout middle school. how fun :)

nene’s stage fright and social anxiety after that is fucking godawful. she can’t bring herself to sing anymore despite wanting to SO fucking badly, so she turns to composing as a hobby. she sort of takes on kanade’s role as the shut-in composer. girl is completely petrified of leaving the house. rui still makes robo-nene for her, so she doesn’t have to leave the house if she’s too scared to and can use it to go run errands or something with rui as company. my girl has so much self loathing in her about what happened and berates herself a lot. thinks of herself as horribly pathetic and cowardly. also so much guilt i will get into in a minute

rui meanwhile is really discouraged from doing shows after that. discouraged feels too light for it tbh. he still loves shows dearly but (pre main story at least) he is like. so convinced he won’t ever be able to and shouldn’t even try connecting with people after that. because if all his attempts are only going to lead to him and other people getting hurt, what’s the point? he’ll always be the weirdo kid no one trusts, and he knows he can’t do shows alone, and he’s kinda accepted that he’ll just be forever be lonely and isolated, aside from having nene with him. but that’s not rlly comforting to him bc of how guilty he feels about dragging her down with him.

speaking of which: time to bring up their mutual guilt!! good fucking lord they both have so much guilt inside them and despite how deeply they care about each other neither of them have ever heard of communicating‼️ they are both fully convinced they are at fault for what happened.

nene hates herself bc she feels like she pressured rui into joining, for messing her moment, for not being able to stand up for herself, for making rui do it for her and leading to what happened, and then STILL being so much of a coward that rui has to defend her throughout middle school. she feels like a burden to him and feels so so horribly guilty about it. he made a whole goddamn robot for her because of how scared she is to leave the house anymore after the harassment and she feels she does nothing for him in return.

rui on the other hand feels horribly guilty for making a stupid decision in the heat of the moment and dragging nene’s reputation down with his. he thinks if he hadn’t been there, if nene had never been friends with him, nene would never have gotten so much harassment. he thinks he deserves it all, but nene doesn’t. he’s really protective of her and took most of the heat when the harassment was really rough. he’s fully convinced he did this to her, that it’s his fault and the very least he could do for her is try to help her as much as he can. this is nightcord wxs so of course he wants to disappear but rui doesn’t less because he thinks nene would miss him and doesn’t want to make her sad (he cares so so much about her but bro’s convinced she should resent him for doing this to her, cause he definitely feels that way about himself) and more bc in his head, it’d be fucking shameful of him to try to take the easy way out. like, how dare he leave nene like that, when he’s the one that did this to her. how dare he abandon her when this entire situation is his fault.

nene’s also been the closest one to ever actually disappearing. she berates herself a lot for being too much of a coward to actually do it, to free rui of the burden that is her. she wants to both bc of the amount of guilt and self loathing she has but also just. feels really lost and aimless. like her dream was to be an actress, but she can barely leave the house anymore, so how is she even supposed to do that? like. she’s tired of living the way she does as a shut in. but at least she has music. she finds comfort in composing.

they’ve clearly stayed friends through it all, and they both care so so much about each other, but there’s a sort of wall between them after everything. they still tease each other and hang out together since they’re neighbors, and try to pretend everything’s stayed the same between them. they get better at not being so closed off to each other!! eventually!! but god starting odd neither of them EVER open up to each other. there’s rui who struggles to identify his own feelings in the first place and nene who doesn’t want to bother rui but generally they both just have the mindset of “i can’t trouble them more than i already have.”

when nene starts composing, rui’s really really happy for her. like he sees how miserable she’s been so her finally finding something she seems interested in makes him really really happy. and later once the group is fully formed, being able to do music videos makes him happy too. it’s not quite the same as doing shows obviously, but he’s happy he’s able to tell stories one way or another.

guhh. i hope this made sense and didn’t contradict too much. i’m probably missing stuff. that’s all the coherent stuff for now though. these horribly sad clowns who have never communicated in their lives…i’m insane about them…

anyway, a few miscellaneous facts about them:

nene is fucking ruthless online, especially when it comes to people even being slightly mean to rui.

nene switched to home schooling since middle school, after rui graduated from it.

rui picked out their online aliases, tako (octopus) and kurage (jellyfish). he likes sea animals and thought it’d be funny. nene did not seem to find it funny, but she kept the one he chose for her anyway.

rui’s also gotten really good at video games since he’s played them with nene for so long.

they stay over at each others houses quite a bit, and as they learn to not be so closed off to each other, staying over happens a lot more. if one of them feels like shit, all one of them needs to do is just text the other and no matter how late it is, the other will already be prepared with some spare blankets and maybe a few snacks. they might not always talk, but it’s comforting being in the presence of the other.

they came out to each other as aroace during a sleepover back in middle school. it really just went like:

“hey, rui?” “yeah?” “i think i’m aroace.” “oh. me too actually, i think.” “oh. okay.”

nene got to know mizuki a little bit, since she stayed close to rui during middle school. he introduced them to each other, nene still keeps in touch with them.

they have a hobby of trying new cup noodle flavors and combos together. they have a tier list and everything.

they both get anxious about arguments, but nene especially gets really panicky and nervous.

judas by abuse is hw core hw rui in particular. but there’s good lines that make me think of nene in there too. feel free to ask me for that ramble it’s been living in my brain

feel free to ask more stuff i’m more than happy to ramble

[shootingthe-stars]

someone just posted a comment on the post about trans regulus and so i looked it up and im not gonna lie i dont really like it 😭 cause why did i only find mpreg, why is it just sexual stuff??? I don't mind the ftm regulus (as someone who doesn't associate with their assigned birth) actually but it kinda seems like people are just doing it for a loophole to have harry or fetish regulus more and it freaks me out.

But maybe i just didn't good stuff, Have you looked into trans regulus?? I need to know if i just found the weird side or not

i ended up rambling a lot i’m putting it under a cut my bad

i think if a character gets hced as trans it’s only a matter of time until it turns fetishy cause unfortunately people just suck. i’ve definitely seen transmasc regulus and i actually do like it as a hc, i’ll never be against gender or sexuality hcs as long as the intentions are all good.

unfortunately i also sometimes see this paired up with making him like a 5’5 skinny twink next to 6’0 bulky james and that bothers me for various reasons. im trying to tread very very carefully but there are too many times i’ve seen fanart and thought regulus was a child and that’s bad actually!

this is probably gonna be a hot take but i think race has to do with the way certain white characters are perceived like regulus and sirius vs the ones people more commonly hc as poc like james or remus. so when only the white characters are chosen for the “small and frail” role it really throws me (not that being trans makes you these things ofc). and i have seen transmasc remus before, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen the hc treated like regulus is. if i’m wrong then 🤷 (also wolfstar is not free from fetishism either, but that’s not the topic of the post)

i have seen a lot of good stuff too btw! it’s definitely not limited to just the negative aspects, and i rly like reading things when they’re both respectful and well written!

basically i’m saying that headcanons are totally cool with me, i just think people need to be careful from turning to fetish type content or contributing to stereotypes by mistake. ur far from free from criticism because you slapped a label on someone to go against jkr just so u can get them pregnant or have different sexual organs for u to draw or write about. i feel like i need 50 disclaimers for this post because having explicit content with a trans character also does not automatically mean it’s fetish content, but it’s really obvious when it is.

anyway this is too long hope u don’t mind 🫶

[the1trueanon]

I FINALLY GOT THESE DONE HERE WE GO:

ACTOR AU SAGE!!!

Fun fact! Actor AU is currently the only WH AU to have a version of Sage instead of Rosemary! :D

Her intro stuff is really long, so I'll put it under the cut (AAAA IM SO EXCITED TO SHARE HER)!!

So, for the Actor AU, Sage actually isn't an actor at all! She's a singer and songwriter who has pretty recently (like, within the past year or two before meeting the WH cast, maybe?) become very popular. Sage's personality and music draw a lot of inspiration from AURORA and MALINDA -- songs that tend to have a lot of deeper meaning behind them. She's eccentric and honestly a bit weird, but she's most known for being open and honest about herself and her music, and for being very caring and sweet. She's able to immediately connect to people and help them see different points of view, which is part of why she's gotten so popular with both puppet and human audiences.

Wally, of course, doesn't really trust it, considering how he thinks and what he believes. He assumes she's probably just another attention-hungry diva, thinking they're the shit, using the whole "lets all be best buds!" schtick to sell out. So he doesn't really pay attention to her or what she does too much, besides taking note of her rising popularity.

That is, of course, until he meets her.

Due to Sage's rising popularity, the show executives decide to have her come on the show as a sort of guest star. Wally doesn't really like this, but they're able to negotiate him to at least try it out for an episode and they'll decide what to do after that. Wally reluctantly agrees, but he's not too optimistic about it. He's really just expecting another one of those "rising star" types, y'know? (Which, fair enough, when you consider what all he's probably had to deal with in his time, plus the fact that all he's probably ever seen or heard of her is in interviews, and he puts on an act well enough for his, so.)

I have a whole actual comic planned detailing this that I'll hopefully finish and get out soon (sitting and writing comics is hard when you have near-zero focus QwQ) but essentially he's outside, before filming for the first day of this, just to get air before having to go back in and start directing things and getting ready and she approaches him and just starts talking with him. And he has no idea who the fuck this is??? (Honest to god, he'll never admit it now but he thought she was an intern or something at first XD) But slowly he goes from just answering her shortly to actually participating in the conversation?? And not just a "how's the weather" sort of thing, but like. Actual deep conversation, about what he's doing out there and talking through a little bit of the stress and stuff. And eventually he kinda like, comes to and realizes he's been talking way too much about way too deep stuff and he's like "hold up who tf are you again?" Which is about the same time her manager (who has been named Savannah and she's also a sweetheart) comes out looking for her and before Sage heads in she fully introduces herself to him, and he's just. Stunned. Absolutely blown away.

Here he was, expecting some diva he'd have to give the shake down to, but instead he's met with just. A girl. An honest, strange, caring girl.

This continues throughout that week of filming, Sage subverting every expectation Wally previously had of her. The whole time he's just more and more startled by Sage and who she is. Her whole team is super sweet and she obviously has very deep trust in them, and jokes with them like friends. She treats his staff with utmost respect (which, admittedly, makes him act on his best behavior every time she's around. He doesn't wanna look bad in comparison XD). She seems to genuinely enjoy her time there and what she's doing. Even more than that, Sage honestly has a very poor filter, so she talks a lot about everything lol, but it can be good! Because this is how Wally learns about her drive to create and how much she genuinely wants to bring people together. He finds out that really, the two of them have very similar visions, just for different audiences. Later, he and the executives and director and stuff are all discussing if they wanna keep doing stuff with her and her team and he's just immediately like "Yes. Absolutely. She has a similar vision to me. We either keep doing stuff with her or I'm personally helping fund her, capiche?" and they're all like "👀Got it" XD

And then, of course, there's her music. Which, after that first day of filming, he searches up as much of as he can and listens to it. And is again absolutely blown away lmao (there's another little comic idea I have for this too hehehe but its much shorter than the other one)

And thus begins Wally's journey of self-improvement, led by Sage's example /j XDDDD

ANYWAY HRGHRGHRGHRHGR THATS ALL THE EXPOSITION IMMA GIVE HERE CAUSE THATS A LOT AND THERE'S STILL A TON MORE STORY IN MY BRAIN BUT AUUUGGGHHH I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS AU (also Frills, I have no idea what spell you've put on me with this thing but I have never made such cinematic art before O-O don't stop XD)

As always, Welcome Home belongs to Clown (partycoffin) and Actor/Diva Wally and the Actor AU belong to the wonderful @frillsand!! 💖💖💖

[seaquestions]

i'm totally enamored with your FHL oc's! would you be willing to elaborate on the relationship chart dynamics btw emil and lucas (esp. emil's "totally oblivious to the fact that he contributed to lucas' destroyed self-esteem")? the implications are so devastating

eeheheee can i just say first of all this super made my day thank youuu im so happy u like my FHL ocs its my darling little pet project 💙💙💙 and yes yes im very willing to elaborate. bear in mind though that this isnt entirely concrete yet, i take kind of a vibes-first approach lol. tbh i like having the tension between emil and lucas stay within the realm of Devastating Implications in-canon but. you caught me. i cant resist talking abt my ocs :3

had to put a readmore cut here cos this got kinda long omg. also tw for mention of bullying & ed.

but yeah so emil and lucas… they had been playing hockey together since they were 10 basically. they’re childhood friends, besties by default, bonded over a shared love of hockey & also for being considered ‘weird’ kids yknow. but they’ve also hurt each other a lot in little ways that never went addressed cos emil is too non-confrontational to make a fuss and lucas is too proud to admit when something’s genuinely fucking with him. but for the most part, they were besties. it’s only when they both started taking hockey more seriously as a possible career option that like, the relationship started to turn sour. lucas used to be a forward actually. he was also subject to a lot of pretty awful comments about his body from his peers (and from adults in his life too lbr). and also, homophobic comments, stuff stemming from his closeness to emil. something that hurt was the fact that emil never stood up for him but, well, even then lucas was willing to overlook that cos its not like he ever really fought back himself. just brushed that shit off, laughed it off, yknow, never let them know that what they say actually hurts you. he didnt wanna like. punch anyone over the stuff they said. especially since he started to Really internalise it. mostly the fat-shaming. its not just shitty teenagers right? its everything. it’s hockey. and the homophobic stuff well… i mean did he have a crush on emil? kinda yeah. just part and parcel of the whole codependent besties thing.

and on emil’s end, he was mostly trying his best to be accepted by his peers (aka, masking 24/7 and going along with the awful shit they said to lucas. cos well, that shit’s normal right? lucas said he can take it anyway, he said it doesnt fuckin bother him so) and stand out with his skill in hockey. he was, notably, better than lucas, who at this point was still a forward. lucas didnt particularly. choose to be a goalie. at least not at first, he loves it now dw. but he loves it now in part because it isolated him a little bit. or at least just kept him in sort of, a separate category, in peoples minds. it kept him away from being compared to emil (even though really they shouldnt have. their skill sets and strengths were quite different. but yknow. they had put themselves together like that). and emil liked that too. he liked not having to compete with lucas over this, which is something lucas took more as emil not wanting to share the ice with him anymore. and it was also another example of lucas bending to external pressure with emil saying nothing against it, encouraging it even. it started to feel like emil didnt give a shit about him anymore—so lucas starts lashing out against him a little. calling him annoying and weird and loud and stupid and shit. the stuff that other ppl call emil that lucas never did. emil took That as lucas finally getting with the program. it hurt but. everybody said it. and he’s been saying the stuff everybody’s been saying about lucas too, and lucas said that shit doesnt bother him so it shouldnt bother emil either cos he has to be strong too and. this HAS to be okay. THIS HAS TO BE NORMAL.

but. yknow. it’s fine. theyre still best friends by default.

their friendship starts to really deteriorate when lucas starts forming unhealthy eating habits. or unhealthy lack of eating habits. frm my experience as a fat guy whos struggled w disordered eating ppl dont tend to notice it unless they see you actively suffer. in fact they might see it as a good thing esp if youre visibly losing weight. i imagine lucas woulda have it worse than i did bcos he also has the pressure of wanting to be a professional athlete and also way shitter peers than me. emil is already not the most perceptive guy and lucas is incredibly reticent so. yeah. kind of a wonder theyre still friends honestly but, yknow, theyve known each other this long. theyve loved each other this long. why wouldnt they still be friends, even after every little thing. this is the one that breaks it. this is the one time where emil not having his back Really fucks with lucas.

lucas’ new goalie coach is the one who lays it all out to him. he’s realising that oh, fuck, fucking fuck, he’s been such a shitty friend and so has emil. thats when he starts his recovery and part of that is also figuring out how to deal with his and emil’s failing friendship. lucas cant bring himself to blame emil at all. like its HIS lack of communication that led to this. he knows emil’s an oblivious guy, he’s always known that about him. so… fix it, right? just, communicate this time and things will be better. but lucas also just doesnt want to see him anymore. like. he just wants his life to change. he’s going to college, in a different city, he’s playing on a college hockey team while emil’s off in major junior league and like, he’s far enough away that he can just ignore emil’s calls most of the time and say he’s busy and get away with it and just let emil think the friendship is fading away organically and not bcos lucas straight up never wants to see him again because it would remind him of a time in his life he never wants to revisit. and meanwhile emil… emil just misses him. emil just misses lucas with all his heart and wonders why why why lucas doesn’t seem to like him as much anymore. i guess that’s just distance but like, EMIL doesn’t feel any less so??? is lucas making friends in college who are cooler, less annoying, better at hockey, better than emil? whatever man… by the time they get drafted by opposing teams, the bff-ship is pretty much dead but. well. emil will still text lucas congrats and happy birthday and sorry ur being sent down and hell yeah ur being sent up and. and lucas just says thanks. so yeah. that’s lucas and emil, at least at the start of the FHL storyline.

and yes….. they ARE using blake and conor respectively to replace their bestie…. :3 but its good for them actually. maybe by learning to be a good friend to this other guy they can eventually learn to be better friends with each other. emil in particular is out here walking on eggshells with conor who freaks out over every little thing and is like. umm. hey did lucas ever feel like how conor is feeling at the shit im saying to him cos. um.

anyway. who’s to say if the reconcile. certainly not me nuh-uh im just the vessel thru which these idiots speak their truth.

ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!! fun mini project to chip into every time i can catch a little break at work 👍👍👍