#phobia factor :D

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tti episode 6

“Last time on Total Takes Island, the campers had their survival skills put to the test in an overnight camping trip- and oh boy, did some of those campers trip hard! Ultimately, Kitty disappeared and the Inane Anons secured another victory, keeping the Fujoshis on their sharp losing streak. Ouch! Will the Flying Fujoshis finally win an episode? Will Julia finally snap and kill Max, or vice versa? Find out now on Total! Takes! Island!”

“Goooood morning, campers! Up bright and early, I hope!”

Bonnie looks up from where they were lying face-down on their pillow, their hair a matted mess. They sit up, stretch, and check the time on the tablet they’d snuck in- 5:03 AM. 

“After that terrible camping trip, the least he could do is let us sleep!” Courtney sighs, hopping off of the top bunk. Ass rolls over in their bed and covers their ears. “Has anyone seen-?”

Mal pops into the cabin, holding a plate of actual food- sunny-side up eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee. Bonnie and Courtney stare at it like wild animals as Mal carries the tray over to Ass’ bunk. “Hey, got you some breakfast,”

Ass slightly pulls up their sleeping mask, looking over their shoulder- and then pulls it back down and turns to face the wall. Mal sighs and scrapes the food off in the garbage bin, much to Bonnie and Courtney’s dismay. 

---

BONNIE: “I don’t know, nor do I care, what’s happening between those two, but wasting real food? I don’t care how sad you are, that’s a war crime,”

---

COURTNEY: “Mal seems… actually upset. I’m starting to wonder if maybe she has changed.”

---

Ass stands on one side of Bonnie as the team gathers outside the mess hall after breakfast, glaring sharply at Mal, who’s beginning to look a little nervous. 

She turns to Sha-Mod and Caesar. “Hey, if it came down to it, I could count on your guys’ votes, right?” 

Caesar raises an eyebrow and Sha-Mod’s Lightning picture flaps a little in the breeze. “What makes you ask?”

“Sigh… nothing… Just rumors…” She says as she walks off. 

---

CAESAR: “Okay, first of all, she said “sigh” out loud. Second of all, if there’s a rumor abound that I didn’t start, I have to know what it is! If I had to guess, I’m gonna say Mal and her “friend” Ass had some kind of falling out. I’ll confirm with Bonnie later.”

---

The Anons seem to be a little less conflicted today as they lull around outside their cabin in relative silence. Michael leans against the splintery wooden railing of the stairs, watching Scary scamper under the porch with a rat in their teeth.

Max opens the screen door to the boys side and takes a seat on the step next to Michael. "H-"

"Gooood morning, bestie!" Julia grins, forcing herself between the two to give Michael a hug.

"Jesus, hi!" Michael laughs back. Julia looks over her shoulder to glare at Max.

---

JULIA: "So, right now, my only goal is keeping Michael on my side- which means not letting that little weasel get to her first. I'm already at a disadvantage, considering that they basically spent the entire camping challenge alone in the woods together doing God knows what, so I have to dedicate all my time today to keeping Michael close," she grins. "The devil works hard, but Julia works harder."

---

“Alright, campers. Today’s challenge is a fan favorite, and the contestant's worst nightmare!” Chris grins, holding out his arms for emphasis. “Your next challenge is the one, the only- Phobia Factor!”

Scruffy breathes in the gum they’d been chewing and coughs for a few moments. “What?! But we didn’t even talk about our fears last night?" They look around at the other campers. "Unless I didn’t get invited!”

“Silly, silly campers. Don’t you remember the online “"personality test”” you had to fill out in your audition form?” he laughs. “We have all of your worst fears on file! Except…”

Chris points up and then dramatically lowers his finger in Max’s direction. “Max left his blank. Probably a smart move, considering what we’re about to do to you,”

Everyone on the Anon’s team looks at Max, who shrugs. “I’m not afraid of anything,”

“Nothing?” Michael asks. 

He shakes his head. “Nothing,”

“But, say, if there were a large bird of prey circling overhead right now…”

“Thank you, Scary,” he sighs. “But I’m not afraid of anything.”

“Don’t worry, Anons, we’ll get to Max eventually- but for our first victims: Scary, Caesar, Kelly, and Austin- you’ll be meeting Chef in makeup and hair,” he chuckles. “The rest of you, follow me!”

“Nervous?” Scruffy asks, looking at Michael and O beside them. 

O nods rapidly, biting his nails. Michael rolls her eyes. 

Caesar gives Bonnie a nervous look, to which they pat his back before he leaves. Austin and Kelly hold hands, and Scary slinks out undetected. The rest of the campers stand, following Chris to the mess hall. Michael, last of her team, is suddenly stopped by Chris, appearing out of nowhere. “Not so fast. You’ve been working real hard, haven’t you, Mikey?” 

“Don’t call me that,”

“Chef has been especially impressed, so he made you this!” Chris pulls a tall glass containing a pink smoothie from behind his back. 

Michael stares. “Is this a part of the challenge? I’ll pass,” 

“How about this then: you drink it or you immediately lose the point!”

She sighs, taking the glass from Chris and inspecting it for a few moments before taking a hesitant sip. Nothing happens- no crushed up maggots, no sewer water, no shards of glass. “Hey, this isn’t half-”

Chris grabs the glass just in time for Michael to pass out on the ground. He chuckles and steps over her unconscious body to join the other campers outside as a few interns hurry over. 

The rest of the contestants are standing outside the mess hall around a baby blue tent, waiting in vague confusion as Chris approaches. 

“Bonnie, if you will,” Chris smiles, opening the blue tent flap. The contestant walks in, and sees nothing but a simple dentist’s chair. Bonnie smirks, and takes a seat. “The dentist’s? Really? How cliche,”

“Oh, no. That isn’t for dental care,” Chris smiles as metal fixtures clamp around Bonnie’s wrists and ankles, cuffing them to the chair. “This is our virtual reality tent. And this,” he holds up a headset, goggles and all. “Is the Dramathon 2000, where you’ll be exposed to the most popular and bland Total Drama fan opinions.”

Bonnie’s face pales. “What? No! You can’t do this!”

Chris puts the set over their face and grins. “Don’t worry, every few minutes you’ll get jumpscared with something new. To keep it fresh, you know? But if you wanna chicken out- just press that red button on your arm rest and lose a point for your team. Your five hours start now!”

The rest of the campers watch nervously as an intern presses a button on a remote and some cheery music begins playing. It’s all quiet for a moment, before a robotic voice says “Leshawna was robbed”. Bonnie screams. 

Chris turns. “Alright- oh, and it looks like our made-over campers have returned!” The crowd turns and grimaces at the sight. Austin is dressed in a plain dark gray and white business suit, hair straightened and slicked back- Scary is in a tousled ombre blonde wig, high-rise jeans and a white crop top- Kelly’s tan has been removed and their hair dyed black- and Caesar looks practically gutted in a musty brown mullet wig. 

“Austin, Kelly, your regular-Joe cubicles await you just beyond the mess hall. You have a lot of paperwork to get to, dudes. Scary, you can go ahead and start Instagramming now,” Chris chuckles, tossing them a phone. “And Caesar… man, that hair is terrible!”

Caesar whimpers and sulks into the virtual reality tent, closing the flap behind him and sitting in the corner while Bonnie screams. 

“Alright then! Let’s see, who’s next…? Julia, care to test your wits?”

Julia smiles and shrugs. “Bring it on, McLean,”

“Loving the attitude! Now, on your personality test, you wrote “not slaying” in the fear category,” she smirks in response. “Well, we made a few calls back home, and your folks had a different story to tell! Chef?”

Chef walks over and hands Julia a wooden sword. She scoffs. “Ha-ha. Taking things a little literally, huh?”

“Not really,” he chuckles as Chef leads her around the corner to a large pen. “Your goal is to defend yourself from these lovely geese for as long as you can.”

Julia’s eyes widen and she looks around before trying to turn and run. Chef grabs her and tosses her in the corral, surrounded by a dozen full-grown geese. She whimpers and trembles, clutching the sword to her chest. Max rolls his eyes as Chris pulls out his megaphone. 

“You’ll notice that there’s an exit across the pen. Make it out, and you’ll score your team a point!”

Julia shakes her head violently. 

“Come on, Julia!” the team shouts. “You can do this!”

“IT’S JUST A BUNCH OF DUCKS!” Max yells, cupping his face. 

"Geese!" Julia corrects him.

She then frowns, takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, holding the sword out blindly in front of her as she stands and runs through the paddock. Not a single goose even looks at her as she screams the entire way through, slamming into the gate and collapsing before getting up and crawling out. 

“That’s one point for the Anons!” 

The team cheers as Julia is lifted up by Chef and taken to the medical tent. “Alright, who’s next… Ass, come up here, please!”

Ass sighs and steps forward. They don’t exactly look terrified, but they’re certainly not happy, either. A handsome gentleman in a finely pressed suit walks out of the mess hall and stands beside them. 

“Ass, this is your fiance, Kevin,”

Ass sulks and rolls their eyes. 

---

ASS: “For as long as I can remember, I’ve had the same recurring nightmare. In it, I’m an adult, and I’m engaged to this perfect dream guy- he’s everything I want in a partner: tall, funny, and sweet. But then this mystery femme fatale who I have drama with for whatever reason swoops in and kisses him to get back at me for… something. I’ve had this dream so many times, it really isn’t even scary anymore, it’s just absurd. I mean, how would that even happen in real life?”

---

Ass pretends to look nervous and takes a phony deep breath. Mal starts to approach to say something, but McLovin barrels through and stands beside them instead, offering support. Courtney gives a nod of approval as Ass gives McLovin an odd- then somewhat grateful glance. 

An attractive young woman in a pink wig comes out of the mess hall next with an angry glare. “I hate you!” she yells at Ass before swooping in and kissing Kevin. Ass watches apathetically. 

“And that’s one point for the Fujoshis!” Chris grins. “Let’s break for lunch, shall we?”

---

“So, who do we have left?” Max asks, once again refusing to touch his meal (today it’s brown goo). 

“Frollo just left, but O hasn’t gone yet,” Julia says weakly. There’s a large bandage around her torso. “Neither has Scruffy, Staci, or Michael.”

“Hm. Where is Michael?”

---

A bird of prey cries overhead as Michael sits up on a patch of grass, groaning. Her face is a sickly shade of green as she adjusts to her surroundings, and she notices a little gray box adorned with a red button at her feet, a sticky note attached to it. 

“Dear Michael. Feel free to chicken out with the callback button any time. Love, Chris,” she reads before she suddenly turns pale and runs over to a cliff edge to throw up. As she looks up, she notices she’s still on the Island- but with no one in sight. 

“Hello?”

No response. 

“Very funny, Chris, guys- where are you hiding?”

She peers in the mess hall, the cabins, even the confessional- no one. A look of panic begins to cross Michael’s face. “Oh, God. They left me here. I’m stuck on the island,”

---

A sudden, loud siren sounds over the intercom system and everyone jumps. A loud voice spoken over a megaphone follows:

“Reuban Fogell, you are under arrest. We have you surrounded!”

Courtney raises an eyebrow. “Who the hell is Reuban Fogell?”

Everyone in the mess hall turns to McLovin as he suddenly rises, standing on the bench with a look of cold determination on his face. 

“Resisting is pointless! Come out with your hands up!”

McLovin takes off his usual glasses and puts on a pair of prescription sunglasses before he slowly walks to the door of the mess hall, stepping outside with his hands held high in the air. The rest of the campers crowd around the window, watching as Chef (dressed as a prison warden) handcuffs him and drags him away as he nods. 

Chris steps into view, holding a megaphone. “Impressive. Didn’t even throw up or anything. That’s two points for the Fujoshis!”

---

MCLOVIN: “Yeah, I lied on my personality test. I’m not scared of pigs. Why? Cause I’m gangsta, suckas!” he flips his sunglasses back on and attempts to lean back before falling into the confessional toilet. 

---

“I cannot believe this,” Julia mutters. 

The Fujoshis looks at each other before cheering and high-fiving. Chris steps inside a moment later, holding a large black box which he drops on the floor with a thump. 

“Sha-Mod, care to join the winning members of your team?” 

The Fujoshis part like the Red Sea and reveal a slightly-trembling Sha-Mod, clutching onto his Lightning picture. The box is a paper shredder. 

---

SHA-MOD: “I’ll be Sha-Real with you all back home for a second. I’m not on the island for money, or to make friends, or to have a fun time. I’m here because I accidentally entered a contest at the White Oaks Mall in London, Ontario. I thought the prize was a lifetime of free soft pretzels. Turns out the prize was an audition-free entry to this show, which I never even Sha-Heard of until I realized I signed a contract for it! I watched one season, the toxic one.”

---

“Ready to show the world the real you, buddy?” Chris chuckles. Sha-Mod violently shakes his head. 

“It’s just a picture,” Ass says, rolling their eyes. 

"You can do it, Sha-Mod!" Courtney smiles encouragingly.

“Nuh-uh. This thing is not going sha-anywhere,”

“You sure about that?” Chris smiles. 

“Sha-sure- I mean, yes,”

Chris shrugs, and a few interns run in and hoist away the paper shredder. The Fujoshis groan. 

---

SHA-MOD: “I may have lost the point but I kept something more important: my Sha-Anonymity.”

---

Austin walks into the mess hall, wearing his regular uncoordinated clothes again, his hair wet. Chris chuckles. “Failed, I presume?”

Austin sulks. “I jumped in the lake, baby. I couldn’t do it- I couldn’t be a square,”

Max smacks his forehead and Julia sighs. 

“Well, anyway- Scruffy- Bonnie’s time is about up, which means you’re set for your turn in the Dramathon 2000! And Staci- or should I say Alex- you’re going to meet Chef in the kitchen for a fun little talk.” 

Scruffy swallows a lump in their throat and walks outside the mess hall as a nervous Staci heads in the opposite direction. 

“Mal, Courtney- I’ll see you two and the rest of your team in the cabin area,” Chris grins. “We have a special surprise for you.”

---

The sun beats down over the empty island as Michael digs through the kitchen pantry, finding it completely empty aside from an old can of tuna. She sighs and rubs her eyes, and then walks back outside the mess hall. 

She walks over to the cabins, which look as if a tornado had gone through them, and pulls a plank of wood off the stairs, carrying it over to the beach where a loosely constructed raft is half-way done. 

---

MICHAEL: “I didn’t come to this show to win. I don’t even want to win, honestly. I joined because I was hoping I’d get to meet more people who’d see me as something more than just “one of the guys”. This has to be some kind of divine punishment- I was unhappy with my current friends, so everyone left.”

----

Chef presses the red button on the Dramathon chair and releases Bonnie from their restraints, to which they immediately tear off the virtual reality machine and toss it across the tent, their eyes red and pupils extremely dilated. 

(three points for the Fujoshis)

“Chris wants everyone out by the cabins,” Chef says. Caesar stands from his corner and helps Bonnie out of the chair and outside the tent, shielding their eyes from the sun.

“Caesar- is that you?” they mutter, shaking slightly as their pupils dart around. 

“I’m here, doll. Can you see?”

“No- my eyes are fried,”

“Oh, thank God,” Caesar breathes a sigh of relief. “This haircut is terrible.” 

Scruffy watches the two in terror, and steps inside. Though they look terribly nervous, they take a seat without complaint anyway, allowing Chef to set up the Dramathon 2000. 

“Did… Chris say what this was going to be?” they ask in a quiet voice. 

“Just a history lecture,”

Scruffy sighs and relaxes a little. 

“An American history lecture,”

“Wh-what?” Scruffy asks. “No- you can’t make me! I can’t listen to the preamble again! NOOOOOO!”

“Yeah, whatever,” Chef shakes his head, muttering “Americans” to himself before throwing on a cardigan and a pair of reading glasses. “Sit tight, I gotta session to get to.”

---

Staci lies on a couch set up in the kitchen, jittery and nervous. Chef takes a seat in a plush chair across from them, clearing his throat as he pulls out a notepad and flips through it. 

They stare in terror as he slowly flips through the pages, adjusts and readjusts his glasses, and licks his lips. “So-”

“NOOOOOOOO!” Staci screams, jumping up and dashing out. 

---

MICHAEL: “Is it a problem that I need to be surrounded with people all the time?! Maybe! Maybe! But this is different! They left me here to die! I can’t die here! I can’t die on this [censored] island! Just when people were starting to like me!”

---

“O, my dude, your services are needed out here!” Chris shouts into his megaphone with a voice that clearly reads as him holding back laughter. 

O, shaking like a leaf, stands from the mess hall table. Julia, Max, Staci, and Austin give each other glances as he leaves, and then upon hearing a shrill, terrified shriek, stand from their seats and hurry outside. 

Chris is holding back tears as O rocks back and forth on the ground, eyes wide and terrified. The team looks around, but no one sees anything. “What’s the dealio, baby?”

“Ok, ok, you dudes gotta see this- watch,” Chris squeaks, tears running down his face. He pulls a thin paper mask out from behind his back and holds it up. It’s no monster, no ghost, no tattered, bloody decapitated head- it’s actually a blond with a cowboy hat. 

“Oh. My. God,” Max stifles a laugh. 

“Is that… Geoff?” Staci asks hesitantly. 

Austin looks between the two as they giggle. “What? Who?”

Chris holds the mask over his face and O screams in terror, earning another round of laughter from the group. 

“It’s not funny!” O insists, glaring at them before Chris puts the mask in front of his face again. O shrieks. 

---

O: “Yes, okay, I admit it! I only came onto this show for exposure therapy purposes because of my irrational “phobia” of- of… G-E-O-F-F.”

---

“Alright, alright,” Chris chuckles. “Anyone wanna take over? I have a boxing match to get to.”

Julia raises her hand, and Chris tosses her the mask. “Oh, and once Scary is done being normal in fifteen minutes, let her have a turn, too!”

---

A massive boxing ring has been set up between the two cabins, and a confused crowd of campers surrounds it. 

“Who’s afraid of a little scuff, baby?” Austin asks, looking around. Kelly stands beside him, reapplying fake tan after having completed her challenge while Scary chases around O in the Geoff mask behind them. (three points for the Anons)

“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” Caesar asks, attempting to mousse up his normal hair again, finished with his torture, too (four points for the Fujoshis). Bonnie blinks one eye, then the other, and then collapses on the ground. 

“This is dumb,” Ass sighs. “Let’s get this thing started already, McLean! I’m hungry!”

Chris steps out onto the ring, dressed in a tux and holding a microphone. “Welcome, campers, to a personal favorite of mine: fear-themed boxing! In one corner, we have the lovely, half-metal Courtney! And in the other, we have the possibly lovely, blog-obsessed Mal! Or should I say Lucy?” He chuckles. 

The campers murmur amongst themselves as Mal’s eyes widen. 

“Now, both of these campers had a lot to say when answering our personality test questions, so I’m sure they won’t mind sharing that with you while they settle their differences like men!” Chris shouts into the mic. “Chef, if you please?”

Chef steps out in a sparkling blue dress, holding two separate diaries. 

The crowd murmurs, deeply unsettled. A few interns walk in, pushing a wheelbarrow as the campers talk amongst themselves, and they dump Michael on the ground. Julia helps her up. 

“How’d it go?” 

“Not well. I was halfway between deciding whether I wanted to try to get off the island or kill myself when I remembered I could just quit,”

Max shrugs. “Well, glad you didn't kill yourself. We might actually have a shot at winning this thing,”

Michael looks at him, then to the ring as the match begins. Courtney and Mal glare at each other, throwing a few punches as Chef reads. 

“Dear Diary, today, Lucy-slash-Mal threw the dodgeball challenge by using our weakest players to her scummy advantage,” Chef reads in a cold, monotone voice. Caesar raises an eyebrow, and McLovin and Sha-Mod look at each other. “I have a feeling she’s trying to get us to lose so she can weaken the team and vote me out.”

Chef switches to the other diary. “Hey gurlz. I’m back from the dead again. Laughing GIF. Clapping GIF. Today I managed to convince the idiots on my team to vote out Patrick instead of me. I have pompadour and paper bag face on my side, and Noah 2 is totally wrapped around my finger. LOL! Smirking GIF.”

Max crosses his arms, rubbing his chin with a thoughtful expression and Julia gives the Fujoshis a perplexed look.

The Fujoshis, on the other hand, look outright furious. Sha-Mod, Ass, and Caesar all glance at each other. Mal throws another punch, narrowly missing Courtney. 

“FINE! I admit it! I’ve been playing the game just like everyone loves to see it played!” She yells, dodging Courtney’s glove. “So, I’m a new Heather! Sue me! You all need me, anyway! This show is nothing without me!”

Chris smiles, standing alongside Chef as the display unravels. 

“Who’s going to help you? THEM?” Mal shouts, hitting Courtney in the gut. They wheeze and fall over. “Courtney barely has a thousand followers on their shitty blog, let alone 10k! I have 22 thousand watchers on Deviantart! My fics make AO3!” she swings again. “Courtney is “nice” but at least!” she throws a punch once more. “I’m!” Courtney ducks and rolls. “POPULAR!”

Courtney body slams Mal, sending her to the ground with a dull thud. Chef counts down the seconds and then blows on his ref whistle, declaring her OUT!

The Fujoshis cheer, surrounding Courtney and hoisting her in the air. 

“Yeah, that’s great and all, but only Mal spoke her truth, so… you’re only getting one point for that,” Chris chuckles. The Fujoshis stare in silence, unanimously shrug, and then go back to cheering.

(five points for the Fujoshis)

Scruffy walks up, looking much less disturbed than Bonnie. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Boxing match. How’d it go with you?” Staci asks. 

“Eh, I fell asleep,” Scruffy looks over their shoulder and watches O crawling on all fours to avoid Scary with a grimace. "I see we're not doing too well."

"That's five points for you Anons," Chris says, popping up out of nowhere.

Max counts on his fingers silently. “We’re tied,”

“Very observant!” Chris smiles. “Your tiebreaker lies on the only member of your team who hasn’t faced their fear yet.”

Max nods knowingly. “Frollo,” 

“Nah, he did just fine,”

---

Frollo leans against the glitter-covered bar in a gay club, lights flashing and streamers flying as he flips through his Bible. 

---

“I was talking about you, kid,” Chris smiles. “You may have left our application blank, but your college admission essay says a lot about you.”

Max turns white and freezes. 

“Wait, college essay?” Julia asks, turning to him with her hands on her hips. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen in August,” Chris answers, matter-of-factly. "Probably shouldn't have chosen child psychology as a topic for your essay, bud."

“God, I would’ve guessed, like, twelve or something,”

Max shakes his head, ignoring Julia’s quip as Chris grins wickedly. 

“Hey, man, it’s easy. Probably the least painful challenge today,” the host says. “We just need you to walk from this end of the cabins to the other holding Chef’s hand,” Chef approaches, wearing a dress and a brown wig. “...While he’s dressed as your mother.”

A brief silence falls over the Anons, followed by a round of barely-restrained laughter. Max turns red. “IT’S NOT FUNNY!”

---

Max stares into the confessional camera for a moment with an aggravated look. He keeps perfectly still for a few moments before pointing and shouting. 

MAX: “I DO NOT HAVE ISSUES WITH MY MOTHER!”

---

The Anons watch on in silence as Max inches forward, his feet scraping against the grass as he drags each shoe in front of the other. Chef grins and holds out a hand, to which Max stares at for a few moments. 

Julia smirks, crossing her arms over her chest. Michael looks between the two with a nervous expression on her face. 

---

MICHAEL: “It's not that I wanted to help him, I just remember feeling really bad. I guess I’d just been abandoned on a replica of the island for hours and I was pretty emotionally raw, but… I know what it’s like to feel alone like that.”

---

“Wait!” Michael says, stepping out in front of a very disgruntled Julia. “I’ll go too!”

“You know it’s only one point per challenge, right?” Chris asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“I know,” she circles around to Chef’s free hand and takes it, attempting to give Max a reassuring smile.

He sighs in defeat and holds the other hand. “For the record, I’m not doing this because you’re helping me. I don't need help. This is for the game,”

“What makes you think I’m doing it for you?”

Max shrugs and Chef rolls his eyes before starting off, practically dragging the two behind him as he speed-walks over to the other side of the cabins. 

---

CHEF: “What? I had a long day!”

---

As soon as they reach the other side, Max wheezes and collapses on the ground. 

(six points)

“And that’s your winning point, Anons! Safe for another day,” Chris grins, tossing away the microphone and tearing off his suit to reveal his usual clothes underneath. He walks over to where Max is huddled on the ground. “You might wanna take some alone time to wash that shame off, bud.”

---

JULIA: "Well, that went poorly. But in my defense, those geese really threw me off!"

---

“Fujoshis- you lived, you laughed, you loved, and you even lost! But only one of you is going home tonight. 

McLovin- Bonnie- Caesar- and Ass- you’re all safe. Courtney- you saved your dignity, but you failed to own up to your truth and cost your team a point. Mal- you scored, but you also showed your true colors and turned everyone against you- and Sha-Mod- you just plain failed, dude,” Chris chuckles. The three give each other nervous glances (even the Lightning picture quivers a bit in the breeze) as Chris continues. 

“Courtney… you’re safe,”

Courtney breathes a sigh of relief and catches her marshmallow. 

“And, finally…

The remaining marshmallow…

Goes to…

Our remaining camper…”

“JUST GET ON WITH IT!” Ass snaps. 

“Yeesh, dude. Just trying to create some suspense. Sha-Mod! You’re safe,”

Mal stands, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth. She marches over to Ass, shoving McLovin out of the way when he tries to stand between the two, and lunges. Chef grabs her just in time and hoists her over his shoulder. 

“YOU THINK THIS IS IT?! THIS ISN’T IT! THIS ISN’T OVER! I’M GONNA…” her voice fades as they go further and further down the docks. The Fujoshis stare at each other. 

“Did anyone get that?” Courtney asks. McLovin and Ass shrug. 

“Who will scream indistinctly next time? And who will stay to play another day? Find out next time, on Total! Takes! Island!”

---

ASS: "I guess I should've seen it coming. You know me- can't have one normal friend without something ridiculous happening. I still have some hope that I'll find someone on the island who isn't a total psychopath. But, hey... maybe I already have.

---

[fawnaflytrap]

Spoilers for season 2, episode 12 under the cut

I really want to thank the Total Drama creators for this challenge (though I wish they’d done it earlier… it would make writing the phobia factor challenge so much easier for me)

But I almost got Wayne’s fear right previously! :D

[taldigi]

why dont you like futaba/gen?

A lot of the persona 5 characters, while colorful and anime-archetype-y- do have a grounded-ness to them- they all have very real issues and very real skillsets... and While characters like Yuuske and Makoto (even Ren, depending on how you play him) could be considered prodigies and/or excel in their fields, Futaba stands out and further forward in terms of that. An infinately brilliant hacker that can basically pull miracles out of their computer? Just as brilliant as Makoto in terms of reasoning and problemsolving? She's mean and "Sassy" which really steps on Mona and Ryuji's area and is later pulled as empathetic like Ann.

I'm only a few steps into Palace 5 and already she annoys me from a character implementation standpoint. Instead of her worrying, it should be Ann. Instead of her figuring out what happened, it should have been Makoto or Yuuske.

Her persona is wild in the sense that it feels really... reductive comparative to the others. the "Wow! a persona as a vehicle!" factor from Makoto is absolutely trashed and outshone by Futaba's giant UFO persona. IDK it feels wrong.

Even her character design doesn't match the others. All of them have a.. tangibility. They all look like stylish thieves- even Ann, who does vary... is based off Catwoman! Yet Futaba doesn't mach any of them! Giant goggles, giant shoes. OK astro boy.

She doesn't fit in that brand of "Silly" that P5 has cultivated for me so far. In a game where there is a bobbleheaded cat that fights demons in clown castles, She feels like a cartoon character. Hell, I'd even say that she feels less like a character and more like a... tool. a plot device.

Persona also suffers from severe anime brainrot- and thats bad when she's so little sister coded, which would be fine if you squint... if she wasn't also a romancible character with unavoidable scenes. I KNOW she's the same age/ish as the others but she's also insanely immature, framed as childish, and is literally described as frail. She needs vitamin D and iron supplements stat.

...and for the most part I have been able to grit my teeth through that anime brainrot because it's been offering a really great story with really amazing characters. When Ren looses some of his personality to "Stoic Anime Protag brainrot" or they do something fuckin' weird with the girls as eyecandy. It's fine, it's whatever. But Futaba... she's.. something else. UGH wish I could put it in WORDS.

She's becoming more tolerable the further in I go to the next palace' storyline, but thats because she's not as relevant anymore to make way for the new girl (who I havent met yet but I like her a lot already) so I know it's not.. my ML-induced phobia of character bloat.

...and please don't try and explain her actions cause of her backstory, im talking from a character design and implementation angle. I think.. I think I'd like her more if she was an exterior member of the thieves, an actual child, and slightly less prodigy-ish.

tl:dr: she feels like a fanfiction character and is weirdly out of place.

She was also mean to Yuuske and Morgana for no fucking reason when she should have been mean to Ryuji instead. I want to push her down the stairs. I also want her to stop touching Ren please. I know ppl think it's okay or funny if it's a guy but it's not.

[far-side-skies]

Hope you don't mind, but I got a few more requests for the beloved bastard

What kind of music does he listen to?

Does he get nightmares often(if not, at all)?

Do you see him as neurodivergent?

I don't mind at all, these questions are great :D

Music I just answered this question like ten minutes ago lol, so here's the answer to that.

Nightmares Nightmares are a very common occurrence for him, unfortunately. He's been involved in the war between Cyclonia and the Free Atmos since he was 14, and it's been a part of his life since before he was even born. The nightmares often take the form of memories of the things he's been through: battles, interrotations turned into torture sessions, all the deaths he witnessed as a teenager. The worst ones come from the time he was captured behind Cyclonian lines, back when he was still a Storm Hawk.

Neurodivergent Maybe? That depends on if PTSD falls into the category of neurodivergence, and I haven't found a clear explanation on if it does. I see him as having PTSD and the issues that come with that, but surprisingly enough I accidentally gave him quite a good support system in the form of friends (including @ashe-alter's character Austry who I absolutely adore and I'm so glad I've been allowed to include him in my writing. Please check out Austry and the rest of Grimm's stuff, I cannot recommend them enough).

So I can't give a definite yes or no to that last question, but he's definitely got a lot of trauma (I have piled on. So much trauma) and it manifests as a lot of stress and anxiety for him. Depression is a factor as well, but he pushes himself through all of it for the sake of Cyclonia (this is not healthy). Towards the beginning of the show he also developed a phobia of mannequins due to an... incident.

[kiruamon]

Teacher-AU Part 2!

We are slowly approaching the core of the AU!

Yay!:D

First, some more general facts again:

As a teacher Oz usually wears a tattered cloak, tidy pants, a simple shirt and mostly sturdy shoes, but sometimes sandals, too

As one of his students suggests that he should dress more modernly, he orders a few new things from his current paycheck

For orders Oz mostly uses the school computers and has the packages delivered to the school grounds

His first order includes a yellow sleeveless vest, white shirts and, for old times' sake, a yellow cardigan that matches his former size so he doesn't wear the cardigan in front of his students

Oz tends to hide his face with the hood of his cloak when he gets embarrassed

At the beginning of each school year, he keeps his phobias hidden from the new classes

They help him to keep an eye on the class when his back is turned or when he otherwise faces away from the class

This way it is hardly possible to cheat or make trouble without being caught by him

He doesn't mind if someone sleeps during his lessons as long as it doesn't disturb anyone

Once his phobias become known, he shows them more directly and lets them help him in class. The little guys regularly hold up miniature classroom materials or re-enact events being described by Oz.

After spending several years teaching school classes, the inevitable day arrives that Oz - with a pounding heart and mixed emotions - had longed for all this time. A new school year begins. A school year that would feel different from all previous ones. Oz is torn between the desire to look for his old friends and to fall around their necks or to hide from them. Of course, he knows they won't recognize him. To them, he would just be a weird stranger. Despite the years of preparation, he is terribly nervous on this first day of school as he stands at the front of the classroom blackboard waiting for it to fill with the students of the new year. And with faces all too familiar to him. Oz decides to stick to his role as teacher for now and try to decide what to do later.

During his lesson, Oz announces to the new students that he has no problem with them sleeping, eating or drinking in his classroom as long as they don't disturb anyone else with it. After a small introduction round, he uses the rest of the hour for a first history lesson.

"Since there are certainly some of you who are already thinking about not coming to my class next time in order to pursue other activities... let's use the favor of the hour while you are all still present to teach you something!" Instead of choosing one of the dry topics that bores every high school student to death, he had already decided some time ago to start with the great war of the houses, which had taken place 5000 years ago, in the new era. Thankfully, his former acting skills from the theater club were not too rusty yet, so that he could use them to perform at the highest level of narration. Instead of a boring lecture, it was much more like an exciting story, which Oz gave to his students. He inserted important and above all interesting quotations and connected facts with easy-to-remember incidents by describing them in an exciting and pictorial way. Oz kept his explanations simple without leaving out deeper background factors for those students who might want to go into more detail. Just then, he reached the climax of his lecture. The upcoming final duel of the two remaining generals, who faced each other with their blades in the all-important battle, when he fell silent and the ringing of the school bell sounded. "Oh, it looks like you've made it for today. Well then, please don't forget to start your break on time!" With a wide and slightly cheeky grin, which was reflected in his eyes under his hood, Oz grabbed his teaching materials and left the room first in line. Only to find as quickly as possible a quiet place where he could calm his nerves a little. They were there. They were there! Tightly squeezed between two shelves in the storage room, he held his hands in front of his mouthless face. Vicky sitting there excitedly anticipating the upcoming lesson, Liam typing away on his cell phone, sure to send some snarky post, and Miranda with her serfs taking notes for her from class. Oz felt like he was being overwhelmed by his own emotions. Joy, sadness, despair, relief, frustration, happiness, helplessness, pain. It was pure chaos. He had hardly dared to look at them directly. It seemed like a miracle to him that he - probably thanks to his routine of several years - had somehow managed to hold his lesson as usual. But now he felt drained and so, so confused. And yet, one particular thought kept popping into Oz's head louder than any other. They were alive. They were alive and well. Tears of relief streamed down his face. He could truly see them again. Hear their voices. Talk to them.

As the week progresses, Oz sees more and more familiar faces in his lessons, in the hallways and on the school campus. Every time he sees them, he is torn between disbelief that his long-awaited wish has come true, but also the crushing feeling that he can't just simply entrust himself to one of his old friends. He doesn't want to scare them off or to be seen as crazy. So he holds back, as difficult as it is for him, sticking to his current role as a teacher and hoping that maybe by doing so he can first build up trust before trying to tell anyone about what he has been through.

Little fun fact along the way.

Oz gets along quite well with Coach, even if he doesn't always approve of his somewhat over-committed and dangerous training methods. But he's glad to have the open-hearted gym teacher around, with whom he can at least chat about trivial things. Sometimes Coach invites him for a training session, which Oz doesn't always accept, yet sometimes he does. After all, a little variety in his limited daily routine can't hurt that much, right? (Oz regularly regrets this decision after the joint training session.)

So, this time it was a bit shorter, but don't worry there are still a lot of details I want to share about this AU!:D

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update

friends, I have no time for bullshit. this is gonna be a long one, I have a tremendous TBR pile waiting for me, and we need to just jump right in. remember how last month I said I was going to get back into comics in a big way? I've made good on my threat.

without further ado, here's what I've been reading:

Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (Sabrina Strings, 2019) - maybe one of my favorite nonfiction books I've read so far this year. shockingly comprehensive despite the sheer breadth of time it tackles; it's genuinely a bit dizzying to see antiblackness and fatphobia traced so succinctly across centuries and straight into the 21st century. prepare to spit nails learning about all the ways that the English have invented the most heinous bullshit you've ever heard to justify why they're just naturally biologically better than Black people, Asians, Natives, Italians, Eastern Europeans, Jews, and the Irish. tremendous breakdown of race-making and how deeply, truly insidious so many ideas about bodies are.

Dead Collections (Isaac Fellman, 2022) - a quirky little oddball of a novel about a trans vampire working in an archive and a recently widowed fanfic writer who have a totally typical meet cute - obviously the best way to get back out there is to hook up with the archivist handling your dead wife's screenplays and letters, right? Dead Collections follows Our Protagonist, the aforementioned vampire Sol, as he struggles with pretty much everything; if you're a fan of the Guy Having An Elaborate Internal Monologue While Having A Pretty Bad Time genre, this one may be for you. I was a little underwhelmed by Dead Collections, but it's got a sharp and interesting take on vampires + a queer sexy little romance that's worth the while.

Siren Queen (Nghi Vo, 2022) - listen: I am a Nghi Vo stan first and a person second. she can do no wrong. Siren Queen was, to my understanding, actually the first novel Vo wrote even though it's hardly the first book she's published, and while I think it shows a bit of first novel overambition, Siren Queen is still dazzling in its atmosphere and creepy factor. Vo brilliantly blends fey mythos with the early days of Hollywood - changelings roam the movie lots, actors' true names are bartered and sold, and studio heads are inhuman monsters who treat their stars like playthings. one of my favorite details was an older actor being described as having the color actually bleached out of them, turning them literally black and white, from back in the day when cameras were hungrier. spooky! and a brilliant concept, which Vo plays with in all kinds of thrilling ways as her protagonist, Chinese-American lesbian Luli, fights to make a name for herself without having to compromise any part of who she is.

Real Hero Shit (Kendra Wells, 2022) - a real fun D&D-esque comic about a ditzy and horny tiefling prince running off with a party of hardened adventurers. absolutely worth the twelve bucks I spent to scoop it up at Pride! my only complaint is that we got to see some lovingly drawn tits but absolutely zero purple cock and/or balls, which just feels wildly unfair. it's about equality, Kendra.

The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, 1915, trans. William Aaltonen) - hey gang, at risk of sounding like a dumbass, I did not know what actually happens in The Metamorphosis. my knowledge began and ended with Gregor Samsa waking up as a bug and going "ah heck how am I gonna get to work?" and I was like cool commentary on capitalism bro, I get it. but did I? because I had no idea that Gregor then proceeds to spend the rest of his life scuttling pathetically around his room while his family feeds him garbage and ignores him. I assumed he would put on a bug tie and go to work or something and the commentary would be about the absurdism of being expected to sit at your desk doing paperwork despite being a fucking giant insect. but instead it's about, like, taking on a form that's alien and inconvenient to your family and becoming an isolated and reviled burden through absolutely no fault of your own because something about your body has become disruptive to the familial peace. and then he just fucking DIES because he gives up on life and the family's RELIEVED and get on with their business thinking about how great it is that they can move now and how lucky they are to still have a daughter with a beautiful normal body. frankly really chilling stuff, Franz.

Batman and Robin Eternal, Vol. 1 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder) - first off in the name of proper credit, I'm extremely aware that Tynion and Snyder are NOT the only people who worked on this by a country mile. unfortunately, there are so many issues jammed into this trade paperback that I'd be here all day if I were to list every individual writer and artist; for my sanity, I'm defaulting credit to the names listed on the front cover even though I know that's technically wrong. anyway, having said that: I remember liking Batman and Robin Eternal pretty well when I started it a few years ago, but sweet lord it has not held up for me very well at all. the story is fine, it's your standard global espionage Bat-shenanigans and every sidekick from Dick to Duke puts in at least a cameo, but god. christ. it's just... it's so New 52. according to my own math, the Batfamily timeline proposed by this book seems to suggest that Bruce has inducted a new Robin every 18 months for YEARS, and Dick somehow can't be any older than 24 at most. it's messy out here, kids. on the plus side: if you like Harper Row and you're gonna get a lot of Harper Row, and she and Cass are definitely dating.

100 Boyfriends (Brontez Purnell) - god, WHAT a collection of stories. Purnell has put together a roller coaster of messy gay experiences - drugs, sex work, infidelity, sex addiction, cruising, etc - and tied them up in poignancy and humor. there's a man having sex with his co-worker's husband, an actor who's washed up after his days starring in a campy gay sitcom, a musician touring Europe in a whirlwind of hookups and drugs and cancelled plans. each story is whip sharp and crazy fast, hardly ever lingering more than a few pages, but they leave unforgettable impressions.

The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes (Neil Gaiman, 1988) - so my mom is moving and consequently shipping me boxes full of my shit that she doesn't want to be responsible for anymore, including all the Sandman trade paperbacks that I almost bankrupted myself buying the first summer that I had a job. for me The Sandman very much falls under "things that everyone says are good and are, frustratingly, actually good" - and yes, that extends to Preludes & Nocturnes even though we all know it's the weakest part of the series! I know it's absolutely going to get better from here once Neilman starts abandoning the larger DC universe doing his own thing, and I'm looking forward to that, but for now it is kind of charming to watch him bend over backwards to get characters Martian Manhunter and the Scarecrow involved.

The Vegetarian (Han Kang, 2016, trans. Deborah Smith) - I checked this book out at the same time as The Metamorphosis because 1.) it was also short and 2.) the jacket described it as "Kafka-esque," and I can be persuaded to do almost anything by a sufficiently amount of serendipity. it's certainly also EXTREMELY UNSETTLING! the tl;dr is that a Korean woman decides to give up eating meat after having some sort of fucked up dream, only for her husband and family to lose their fucking minds. to her husband she's an embarrassment; to her brother-in-law, an object of sexual obsession; to her sister, an inconvenient obligation. I can definitely see thematic parallels to the Metamorphosis in terms of that looming question of whether your family will still love and care for you if you become someone they no longer recognize, but there's a major difference in the fact that all the narration comes from other perspectives. we have no idea what's happening in the titular vegetarian's head as she seems to grow more and more distant and passive, nor what she feels about the ways she's being (mis)treated. great book, hurt my head.

Batman: Year One (Frank Miller and David Mazzicchello, 1986) - straight up? excellent. delicious. NO notes. Gotham (the tv show) desperately wants what Year One has but is too cowardly to actually let Gordon run Flass off the road, beat him senseless, and leave him handcuffed butt naked in the woods in the middle of winter. grow up!!

Batman and Robin Eternal Volume 2 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder, 2016) - pretty much the same as Volume 1 but dumber and more chaotic; a story about the Batkids teaming up to take down a human trafficking ring that even Batman couldn't bust turns into just. a whole convoluted take over the world scheme that we can't call the Justice League for help with, For Some Reason. and yet. and yet. I am not immune to the scene in which Damian chews out his brothers for thinking they're failures for not being Batman clones and reminds them all that Bruce not only knows they aren't like him, but it proud of and grateful for it. or the reveal that Bruce has spent years trying to do right by Harper to give her as much control as possible over her own life. or the ending when he takes Cassandra on after getting his memory back (Bruce was an amnesiac for this entire story, I don't know why or care. comics are like that). I have feelings about daddy!Bats your honor.

Batman: King Tut's Tomb (Nunzio DeFillippis, Christina Weir, José Luis García-López, and Kevin Nowlan, 2009) - gamers, I'm not gonna lie: this is probably one of my favorite things I'm going to read this year. King Tut's Tomb collects issues #26-28 of Batman Confidential and employs possibly my favorite kind of Batman storyline: there's some weird-ass murders happening in Gotham again, and now Batman has to do something about it. in this case he teams up with the Riddler, because the insane white man doing brownface and calling himself King Tut while he kills people is also spewing riddles during his homicides, which is thematically a bit confusing and also pisses the Riddler right off. after Batman declines his first offer to help Eddie shimmies himself right out of Arkham anyway and proceeds to spend a full day cheerfully calling Bruce "partner," being rude to cops (based), and being right about pretty much everything. I really enjoy the way DeFillippis and Weir write the Riddler, employing sort of a "used car salesman" energy that really straddles the line between charming and insufferable, and Bruce makes a phenomenal straight man for him to play off. I would have read another 20 issues of this happily, but I respect a story that doesn't overstay its welcome.

[jewbeloved]

Back with the questions if you don't mind. :)

And wow I never knew that people can have so many phobias. :0 But no worries I think you will fight them all in the future! I used to be afraid of hospitals, doctors, and needles(Damn, I even kicked a nurse in the stomach when I was younger, she really scared me with a needle. ^^; ) But now it's over with that. And no worries with the dolls they tho are very creepy at night. The darkness is my enemy, I'm way too afraid of it. T-T

I don't think you overreacting! I think you have every right to be angry at that and those things that happen.

I don't think it's creepy I think that it is nice to have something that gives you ideas, motivation, and energy to do something. :]

What makes you laugh the most? (For me it's Steve Harvey, I be laughing hard at his reaction to the answers of people, x factor-the one where a woman is singing with a chihuahua XD, and some funny animal videos.)

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? (This is a very hard question, I have so many favorite dishes that I can't choose T^T)

What's your favorite and least favorite zoo animal? (Mine is lions with tigers, maybe even horses, and my least favorite are those monkeys with red butts)

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? (I could say a week, I think I had insomnia and I still have problems with waking up and can't fall asleep :') )

 What is/was your favorite subject in school? (I used to like my national language subject now I hate it with all my heart, but right now it is English, chemistry, and biology)

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? (For me it is hearing and smell.)

How many languages do you speak? (That is my national language, Russian, English, and a little bit of Poland, Ukraine, and Japanese)

Okay, I think that's enough questions for today. ;D

Here's Kyle!

PLEASE, THESE IMAGES ARE HYPING ME UP FOR THE KYLE PLUSHIE THAT I AM GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS 😍😍🤩🤩

This may seem weird, but whenever I am playing super smash bros I always find it funny whenever the characters fall off the screen and do their screams or something. It makes me laugh hysterically for some reason 😅🤣

Oreos....I can live with eating sweets I swear! >:C

My favorite zoo animal would probably be the pandas, they are literally so cute! My least favorite are elephants and rhinos tbh..-

Ehm...I don't remember how long I went without sleeping, I think my longest streak is about 3 days.

My favorite subject is chemistry! I hate history, social studies, and English though. I struggle with those subjects ;-;

My strongest sense is hearing, even though my ears are tiny from what my parents told me.

I speak English and Japanese. but I can only speak Japanese a little, I am still learning about it. English is my first language though!

Don't tell Kyle that I store a bunch of bananas in his closet, I heard he hated bananas-

[ama2024]

https://www.advancemarketanalytics.com/reports/9783-global-panic-disorders-market

Panic Disorders Market Future Prospects 2025

Advance Market Analytics released a new market study on Global Panic Disorders Market Research report which presents a complete assessment of the Market and contains a future trend, current growth factors, attentive opinions, facts, and industry validated market data. The research study provides estimates for Global Panic Disorders Forecast till 2029*.

Panic disorder is an intensive surge of worry and anxiety. It’s continual, disabling, and characterized by its unexpectedness and debilitating immobilization intensity. Symptoms embody trembling, nausea, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, numbness, and others. Panic disorders could last for 5-10 minutes; however, it will linger for hours. If it is left untreated, panic disorders reach phobia.

Key Players included in the Research Coverage of Panic Disorders Market are:

Teva Pharmaceutical Inc. (United States), Sun Pharmaceuticals (India), Mylan (United States), Astrazeneca (United Kingdom), Abbott Laboratories (United States), Noven Pharmaceuticals, Inc. (United States), Recordati Rare Diseases (United States), F. Hoffmann-La Roche (Switzerland), Eli Lilly and Company (United States), Bristol-Myers Squibb (United States)

What's Trending in Market: Development of New Product and R&D Activities

Challenges: Poor Diagnosis Rate Due To Lack of Proper Diagnostic Test

Opportunities: R&D to Develop a Safe and Effective Treatment for Panic Disorders

Market Growth Drivers: Rising Prevalence of Panic Disorders

The Global Panic Disorders Market segments and Market Data Break Down by Type (Anxiety Disorders, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder), Application (Hospitals, Specialty Clinics, Home Care, Others), Drug Type (Anti-Depressants, Benzodiazepines), Sales Channel (Hospital Pharmacy, Retail Pharmacy, Online Pharmacy)

Get inside Scoop of the report, request for free sample @: https://www.advancemarketanalytics.com/sample-report/9783-global-panic-disorders-market

To comprehend Global Panic Disorders market dynamics in the world mainly, the worldwide Panic Disorders market is analyzed across major global regions. AMA also provides customized specific regional and country-level reports for the following areas.

• North America: United States, Canada, and Mexico.

• South & Central America: Argentina, Chile, Colombia and Brazil.

• Middle East & Africa: Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Israel, Turkey, Egypt and South Africa.

• Europe: United Kingdom, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Belgium, Netherlands and Russia.

• Asia-Pacific: India, China, Japan, South Korea, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, and Australia.

[disabledunitypunk]

Mod Stars here.

Hey, I know I don't usually do this, but I wanted to provide a life update, including current health status, on this blog. I'm hoping it'll remind those that have been unkind recently that we are people, and also let the many very kind and supportive people who have followed or even interacted in passing with this blog know why activity is sporadic.

CW for details about bodily functions, some of which may be gross or may trigger emeto/copro/uro-phobia, as well as mentions of medical neglect, parental abuse, and disordered eating, very brief mentions of sexual trauma and suicidal ideation (not mine)

So, first of all, currently I am watching my grandmother with dementia overnight four nights a week. I already generally have a pretty fucked sleep schedule, so I was basically the most "convenient" family member to do so. I'm glad to be able to help, but also beyond exhausted, even just on a purely physical level. Emotionally, I'm not that affected for complicated reasons (low empathy is a factor, but also specifically my relationship with my family because of my mom's abuse and their support of her). Having to be fully present and aware of myself and my surroundings for almost 50 hours a week though is taking all my energy and then some.

Because of this and medical trauma from continued medical neglect, I have been struggling to actually address my health. I mean to switch doctors again, after my doctor literally (flippantly, not sympathetically) told me "western medicine isn't really any good at helping with chronic conditions" and keeps dismissing any condition as a possibility if my symptoms would fall under even mildly atypical presentation. For example - she dismissed the possibility of pancreatitis because I'm not vomiting and "don't have severe pain" - except I do have severe, debilitating pain in exactly the area typical of pancreatitis. I just don't show it because I live my life constantly at a middling to high level of pain.

(It may not be pancreatitis! That's okay! But a refusal to do so much as an entirely risk free simple blood test or stool sample is unacceptable.)

I also have not been able to address my vitamin D and B12 deficiencies and they have fallen to severely critical levels again, along with my folate. My ferritin levels, on the other hand, are high. I've also lost nearly 35 pounds in the past eight weeks, which my doctor is convinced is due to "dietary and exercise changes". The only problem is, other than finding and cutting out one of my big allergy triggers, I haven't significantly changed my diet in well over a year!

I also am continuing to get stonewalled by incompetent and/or lazy allergists on receiving a mast cell disorder diagnosis (most likely MCAS) and getting treatment for it, as my list of safe foods gets smaller and smaller. I recently tried quercetin and DAO enzyme, which initially helped but now doesn't seem to be anymore (and I'm concerned one of the inactive ingredients in the supplements may in fact be a trigger itself). It's a very simple series of noninvasive tests and at this point I've been to both of the practices within hundreds of miles of me that take my insurance. I don't know how else to get them to listen to me. About once every two months, I end up in the ER needing prednisone, but can't even follow up with an oral course because I react to most common binding ingredients and insurance won't cover a compounding pharmacy without a mast cell disorder diagnosis. I'm hoping next time they'll be willing to prescribe intramuscular route, but I doubt it.

I have been having abdominal/back pain in conjunction with like, hazard-vest-orange diarrhea with fat or mucus discharge. My last ultrasounds not quite a year ago were clear, but idk how because they could barely get the images because the light pressure from the wand was so intensely painful.

My POTS is currently untreated as well due to lack of access to meds that I don't react to, so my tachycardia and dysautonomia are running rampant. I can no longer go further than my mailbox down the hall without a wheelchair most days.

My chronic pain (likely fibromyalgia, but also very possibly a connective tissue disorder - no hypermobility however) gets triggered whenever any other conditions flare-up. The lowest I am on the helpful pain scale charts like the one below is a 6. Average is 7-8, with frequent spikes to 9-10. I don't go to the emergency room at a 10 because they literally can't do anything for me, and sometimes make it worse. Last time I went in for anaphylaxis, for example, the folic acid in the fluids they gave me caused an obvious visible allergic reaction, which went down when they stopped the fluids and resumed when they restarted them. They just shrugged and let the fluids run their course.

[Image ID: A pain scale chart that reads as follows - 0-10 SCALE OF PAIN SEVERITY. Severity - 10 Unable to Move - I am in bed and can't move due to my pain. I need someone to take me to the emergency room to get help for my pain. 9 - Severe - My pain is all that I can think about. I can barely talk or move because of the pain. 8 - Intense - My pain is so severe that it is hard to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult. 7 - Unmanageable - I am in pain all the time. It keeps me from doing most activities. 6 - Distressing - I think about my pain all of the time. I give up many activities because of my pain. 5 - Distracting - I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain. 4 - Moderate - I am constantly aware of my pain but I can continue most activities. 3 - Uncomfortable - My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time. 2 - Mild - I have a low level of pain. I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it. 1 - Minimal - My pain is hardly noticeable. 0 - No Pain - I have no pain. /end ID]

I'm sorry if the ID is not great, btw. The only way I can do image IDs is by using google lens to copy the text and then formatting it. If anyone wants to do a better ID, we'll happily reblog it.

I will say, this isn't something new, but I also often just can't eat anymore, because I'm just too reactive and I feel worse when I eat than when I don't. I'm struggling with disordered eating urges that started back when my mom was forcing me onto fad diets, though I've mostly managed to combat them with strict rules about when I'm allowed to not eat (I have to be severely flaring and cannot fast for more than two days at a time - which, tbf, is actually effective at bringing the flare down because it allows my degranulating mast cells to be replaced.

My sleep apnea is worsened significantly every time I'm flaring and causing sleep deprivation, and I'm also struggling to keep up with both cleaning and ordering replacement parts when they are due. I also had just started actually sleeping at night thanks to a sun lamp and feeling so much better, and feel worse again now being awake nights. I also am dealing with throat irritation and severe sinus inflammation/rhinitis whenever I flare, as well as hives/eczema. The skin stuff at least is annoying at worst, but still.

I also am not certain this is related, but it seems it may be: I have frequent urinary urges, whether I have to go a little or a lot, that I can't sleep through. I used to rely on adult diapers but can't currently afford them, so I have a makeshift "chamber pot" that my partner sets up for me next to our bed every night to minimize the sleep loss from this. It's unclear if it's urinary cystitis or just a side effect of MCAS, but if it's the former, I cannot currently do the recommended physical therapy for it due to sexual trauma

That's I think a fair bit of the physical stuff, though I'm sure I'm forgetting some. I spend all the time not watching my grandma sleeping or sick in bed. I often am sick while watching her too, but since it's mostly just being there to make sure she doesn't leave the house, I'm able to just lay there on the couch or the cot they have and be sick with my duties that involve interacting with her specifically limited to necessities at the request of my grandpa.

Then of course there's the mental health stuff. I'm struggling with some depression surrounding food, but actually, my anxiety and depression are at the best they've ever been. I am however struggling a lot with processing said sexual trauma (I basically haven't been able to, especially over telehealth). For reference, it's of the type that happened at a certain age (that this site will delete blogs for talking about).

Trauma from medical abuse and neglect, besides making me struggle to actually pursue care, is also causing difficulties.

As is trauma from past abuse as well as my father's extreme dismissiveness and outright bigotry regarding both my disabilities and queerness (such lovely things as "well, if you want to rely on the government for money, it's a bit extreme to want to force them to let you get married" and "I don't see how disabled people having added vulnerability to financial abuse is any different than anyone else" and "the government will never actually restrict adults' right to transition other than by dropping insurance coverage for it, just pay for it yourself, the bill that would make it illegal for providers to prescribe HRT is as ludicrous and unlikely to pass as the bill introduced to bomb Mexico". For reference, he is a first generation Mexican immigrant, so that's not also a racist white guy statement).

My parents are also anti-vaxx yet somehow not covid deniers??? But they've bought into a lot of bullshit "medicine" that they keep trying to convince me to try. I use my MCAS as an almost convenient excuse as to why I can't take any of their bullshit "remedies".

I have to keep reminding myself to not let myself care for them and that I excised all feelings for them for a reason, for my own emotional safety.

Poverty as well is causing it's own trauma, which I won't get into, other than to say that food insecurity is terrible and our landlords are fucking evil slumlords.

And of course there's online trauma from past experiences with dogpiling and harassment which has been triggered recently. I am incredibly grateful to Mod Cloud for fielding the recent situation for us.

As for other mental health diagnoses: the cluster B diagnoses I'm actually managing fairly well right now. The DID I am struggling a LOT with. Communication is at an all time low since realizing our plurality and amnesia and dissociation are pretty close to an all-time high. Some of the dissociation is lower during our shifts with my grandma - I'm more present in the body and more aware of it and our surroundings - but dissociation between headmates is bad, and I am much MORE dissociated on my days off now.

OCD is doing okay. I struggle a bit with guilt over the feelings I have about my grandparents, but quite honestly I feel less bad about feeling that I wish they would pass sooner rather than later when I know it would be a mercy and a kindness to both of them at this point.

ADHD is awful. My executive dysfunction is utterly unmanageable without meds, which I both react to and which worsen my tachycardia, even when on a beta blocker but especially when not. I am more functionally disabled by this than quite literally any other of my disabilities, except perhaps my negative schizophrenia symptoms. I'm managing my psychosis well for that, btw, and the psychosis has always been the easiest part anyway.

My brain fog is awful, my cognitive functioning feels like it's at zero most of the time, and I literally can't even address most of this because the physical symptoms are so much more demanding and immediate, if that makes any sense. But I can't address the physical symptoms primarily due to trauma and executive dysfunction, so it's a vicious cycle. I need a carer myself, and can't get one right now.

I also am extremely scared that something will happen to me - not so much for my sake, because while I desperately WANT to live, I am not afraid of death - but for my partner's. We need to make an updated safety plan for her because she and I are both worried about if she could even survive if I died. Both on a physical level if she doesn't have SSI yet, because she at this point CAN'T work, and on an emotional one, because we know she'd be very suicidal at that point. But also, even if she'd be okay, having to live up to 50 years without your person, with all the color taken out of life... the thought is utterly horrifying to me, as someone who is stable enough to probably survive it. I don't want her to have to go through that.

So I'm pushing myself through the triggers and outsourcing my executive functioning as much as possible to make sure I can stay here for her.

I am incredibly exhausted. I haven't even talked about how any other headmates feel because I have so little communication right now - in part because many headmates are unable to even come near front if the body is in a significant amount of pain or otherwise sick.

Just typing this right now, my lungs are on fire and I have a rattling cough (non-pathogenic, this is a common allergy/asthma symptom), my skin is hypersensitive and hurts to touch, my entire body from my head to my toes is at what for me is a low level of background burning pain, my back and abdomen hurt especially, I can't maintain my temperature at all, I can't sleep despite this being around when I'd normally sleep since my schedule got thrown off, my bladder is lightly aching, and I haven't eaten because I'm not feeling well enough to make anything and my partner is sleeping and I also can't handle any GI triggers at ALL right now. I'm also itchy, my sinuses are moderately inflamed, and I have neck edema.

Oh, and our water is coming out of our tap brown due to a temporary shut off that either hasn't been flushed or has not yet actually been turned back on, that none of the affected residential buildings in the area were informed of beforehand. I'm badly dehydrated and have no access to water.

At this point, this is just our life right now. There's not much that can be done. I'm not going to say no to helping with my grandparents - both because actually very much still care about them and because, selfishly, it sets me up to possibly eventually be able to move into their house and potentially stay there permanently. That would give us a level of stability that would do wonders for our general health and quality of life.

It's not all bad - my dad will be providing a car for me to facilitate my night shifts, that I'll be able to use outside of that context (I mean, I'll have to be judicious, since I struggle badly with ADHD and dissociation affecting my ability to drive, but I've been talking with my therapist to find effective coping mechanisms and don't really intend to use it beyond short grocery and doctor trips. I will also set aside what money I can to Uber instead if I really can't drive safely. Public transportation is not an option in my area for this.)

Also, since getting the POTS diagnosis, I've been so much calmer, because I no longer associate the tachycardia and dysautonomia with "anxiety". When my heart is racing or I'm suddenly flushed and overheated and short of breath, etc, I'm just like "ope POTS lol". Sometimes I wonder if I ever had anxiety or was just gaslit into thinking I did - at least since getting out of high school, since the diagnosis probably did actually apply then. (Though, tbf, high school -_-).

Anyway, I don't fully even understand why I want to say all this, other than to show you what I'm struggling with and remind you that I'm a real disabled system behind the blog profile pic, as is Mod Cloud. I hope that even if you disagree with me or Mod Cloud on subjects of ableism, you can treat us with basic decency and respect (in the sense of treating us as people, not as an authority).

I'll take this time to once again state we are all strongly anti-harassment, as well. I'm not just referring to some of the ableist harassment recently sent to our ask box, but also to remind any followers or supporters of ours that harassing even people who are extremely cruel or bigoted to us, let alone who just disagrees with us, is unacceptable behavior. It will merit a block to anyone we find doing so, and we strongly encourage any affected blogs to report it as well (Tumblr, fucking let us report harassment when not the affected party like every other site on the internet. Twitter is literally better than you in that regard, come the fuck on.)

Also, if you disagree with us and are harassing others who agree with you to make us look bad, really? You're not even just not a good person, you're an ableist bully who was looking for any excuse to harass multiple disabled people on opposite sides of an argument. An ask sent about harassment they wrongfully assumed we condoned or had anything to do with literally said "this is the opposite of unity" and they were right on that count, at least. Go suck fed dick somewhere else.

Anyway, we don't necessarily need advice or even for anyone to express sympathy, right now. We just needed to get off our chest all that we're dealing with, like we said, in part to remind people that we are people and in part to let people know why we are only sporadically active.

Thank you for your patience, and no matter what your feelings on discourse, for those who have been good to us. Even if you disagreed so strongly with us that you had to immediately block us and rant on your blogs about us, you did us the kindness of walking away and not lashing out at us, and we really do appreciate it.

And to all those that see this: May your good days be many and your bad days be mild.

[appboxersblog]

Exploring the Realm of VR App Development: Building Immersive Virtual Experiences

Introduction:

Virtual Reality (VR) technology has been making significant strides in recent years, revolutionizing the way we interact with digital content. VR applications have the potential to transport users to new realms, offering immersive experiences that blur the lines between the physical and virtual worlds. This article delves into the exciting realm of VR app development, discussing its potential, challenges, and key considerations for building immersive virtual experiences.

Understanding VR App Development:

Virtual Reality app development involves creating software applications that enable users to experience virtual environments through a VR headset or other immersive devices. These applications leverage a combination of 3D graphics, audio, and interactive elements to create a sense of presence and engagement.

Key Components of VR App Development:

a. VR Hardware: VR apps require compatible hardware, such as VR headsets, motion controllers, and sensors, to provide users with an immersive experience. Developers need to consider the target platform and optimize their applications accordingly.

b. VR Software Development Kit (SDK): VR app development relies on specialized SDKs that provide tools, libraries, and APIs to streamline the development process. Popular SDKs include Unity3D, Unreal Engine, and Oculus SDK.

c. User Interface (UI) and Interaction: Designing intuitive and user-friendly interfaces is crucial in VR app development. Developers must create interaction mechanics that work seamlessly with VR hardware, such as hand gestures, head movements, or motion controllers, to enhance the user experience.

d. Immersive Content Creation: VR experiences thrive on immersive content. This includes creating 3D models, environments, textures, audio, and animations. Developers need to optimize assets for performance and ensure a balance between visual fidelity and smooth performance.

Challenges in VR App Development:

a. Performance Optimization: VR applications demand high-performance rendering to maintain a smooth and responsive experience. Optimizing resource usage, reducing latency, and achieving a consistent frame rate are critical for avoiding motion sickness and providing an immersive experience.

b. Motion Sickness: VR-induced motion sickness is a common challenge that developers must address. Designing comfortable locomotion mechanics, minimizing latency, and optimizing visual cues are key factors in reducing motion sickness.

c. User Comfort: VR experiences can be physically demanding and may cause discomfort, especially during extended usage. Developers should prioritize user comfort by providing options for customization, reducing eye strain, and implementing breaks or ergonomic considerations.

Industries Embracing VR App Development:

VR app development has gained traction across various industries, including:

a. Gaming and Entertainment: VR gaming experiences offer immersive and interactive gameplay, transporting players into virtual worlds.

b. Education and Training: VR provides a powerful tool for immersive education and training experiences, enabling learners to explore virtual environments and practice real-life scenarios.

c. Architecture and Real Estate: VR can showcase architectural designs and virtual walkthroughs, allowing clients to visualize spaces before they are built.

d. Healthcare and Therapy: VR has shown promise in areas such as pain management, mental health treatment, and phobia exposure therapy, providing a safe and controlled environment for patients.

Conclusion:

Virtual Reality app development opens up a world of possibilities for creating immersive and engaging experiences across various industries. Developers need to master the technical aspects of VR, optimize performance, address user comfort, and leverage the potential of immersive content creation. With continuous advancements in hardware and software, VR app development is set to shape the future of how we interact with digital content, offering transformative experiences that were once only imaginable.

[desi-play]

Why do people watch shows about cooking?

Today, food culture is prevalent in almost every form of entertainment, especially cookery shows that seem to hypnotize viewers. Cooking shows frequently inspire viewers to improve their culinary abilities. They can then sample the appetizing cuisine that the host or guest has prepared. It turns out that there is a scientific justification for why watching Indian cooking shows is enjoyable for all of us as viewers. Here are some of the reasons why people love to watch cooking shows: 

A- Influences your eating habits 

Cooking shows leave a major impact on our eating habits.  The majority of cooking shows help the viewers by demonstrating simple dishes they can prepare when they have visitors at their place. Depending on the cooking shows you are watching, this is a good thing. The majority of Indian cooking tutorial videos will demonstrate simple dishes you can prepare when you have visitors and need to feed them well. You will be motivated to get healthy if you watch the videos of healthier food recipes. Making healthy food recipes doesn't need you to give up flavor. You may find the enticing dish employing healthy components in the cooking shows. 

 B- Great ideas for meal plans 

The cooking shows provide tons of inspiration, creativity, and enjoyment for those occasions when you feel like making something a little more unique in the kitchen. Once you've overcome your kitchen phobias and are comfortable preparing simple meals, you'll inevitably feel the urge to whip up something a little more original that has more of a wow factor—both on the plate and in your mouth.  These shows also quickly get you moving in the right direction by providing you with creative inspiration.  

C- Inspiration to improve your kitchen 

Sometimes while working on different recipes and meal plans, the chefs make use of a lot of new equipment and kitchen tools. By watching cooking shows you might want to update your outdated kitchen. This is a fantastic idea for giving your kitchen a fresh look.

D- New food content every day 

There are circumstances when you stand in the kitchen wondering for hours what to cook. If this question bothers you every day then cooking shows are the best option that helps overcome such situations. You just need to be ready with a diary and a pen to note down some scrumptious recipes by none other than the chefs themselves. With every new episode, comes a new recipe which keeps your meal plans sorted for weeks or even months sometimes.  

E- Learn new techniques

The cooking methods that you might have been following so far are just the basic ones. By watching cooking shows you will learn some fresh methods. Even the slightest change will result in chopping the lemon before use. To watch Indian TV shows on Desi Play TV click here: https://www.desiplaytv.com/

[beautyreviewqueen]

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[agdistis-sanctified]

You ever see that old cartoon with the squirrel who's trying to eat a coconut? Chuck Jones, I think... this retarded squirrel finds a coconut and thinks that he's hit the giant acorn mother load- only, he can't crack the nut. It's too hard. So he gets a jack hammer, he throws it down stairs, runs it over with a truck... nothing. Finally, he pushes this monster up a gazillion stairs all the way to the top of the empire state building and heaves it. Crack. Slowly, the shell peels back... and you know what's inside? Another coconut shell. That squirrel is in cartoon Hell. That squirrel is me. Every time I get a shot at saving the world, or doing right or waving the truth and justice flag instead of gutting a guy, I do it... and every time, I get the shaft for my trouble. Every time, there's another coconut shell I gotta crack. But just like that retarded squirrel... in another month or so, the cartoon reruns, and I try again. You did mess up my head by showing me what a dirtbag I've been in my lifetime... but that doesn't change the fact that I still try to be better. I'm giving it a shot. At the end of the day... I'm winning, and I wouldn't have things any different.

Deadpool

[nabesthetics]

Vulgora - what is your MC’s temper like? Valdemar - how brave is your MC? do they get scared easily? (Marty or Alastor!)

The temper one answered here, but, ah, to elaborate on what I mean by "severely hurting the LI makes Alastor go feral":

Angery.

Valdemar - how brave is your MC? do they get scared easily?

Alastor is mainly afraid of disapproval and leaving a bad impression in general, really. As for traditional definition of bravery, I suppose he is. Alastor is definitely not wary of risks, and if there's one thing he's confident in, it's his skills in spellcasting, which does give him a significant advantage in dangerous situations. Recklessness is also a factor though.

But there is some irony in this prompt, because Alastor is absolutely terrified of Valdemar. It's this deep, near-paralyzing instinctive fear that he just cannot explain until he realises what Valdemar is. He's more scared of Valdy than the Devil, because he somewhat understands the latter. But hey it adds some power to the dungeon scene in Lucio's route, eh?? :D

Marty is… uh. He's afraid of heights. Asphyxiation. Failure. Open water. Internally freaks out through the whole route, really. He considers himself a coward. But here's the thing, though: he can push through those fears most of the time, which can also be considered bravery. And he does work through some of the phobias with some support, so, despite what he thinks, I don't think he's a coward after all.

…and yes, he doesn't admit the "fear of open water" part to Julian until they're about 3-4 days into their journey to Nevivon. Because he's, indeed, the fool.

[oculus-de-malus]

URL CHALLENGE: You have to answer each question that spells out and corresponds to your blog’s url.

O - Oldest film that you enjoy?

C - Country you want to visit?

U - Unusual Phobia you have?

L - Lazy Day or a Busy Day?

U - Underwater or On Sands?

S - Scariest movie you like?

D - Deepest Wish written in ⭐️

E - Earth, Fire, Water or Air? Why?

M - Memory that brings you happiness?

A - Age you learned something difficult?

L - Loneliest moment of your life?

U - Unique talent(s)?

S - Song you can’t get enough of?

O - The oldest film that I enjoy is actually one of the oldest films, period. Georges Méliès Le Voyage dans la lune, which was made in 1902. It's an enchanting visual feast, with Méliès himelf being a true pioneer of cinema... his work was extensive, and he produced a multitude of films, a lot of which were centred around astronomy or religion, notably the devil. YouTube should have a lot of his work if anyone is inclined to seek it out on the back of this reply, and I really do urge you to do so...

C - Whilst I have travelled a fair bit, there is still so much that I still want to see... I've never been to Australia, or Canada, or Russia... I've never visited South America in its entirety either... I'd love to visit the Amazon rainforest... I've worked with charities that have helped protect and preserve it, and even though the heat and humidity would no doubt disagree with me, I would love to visit it one day...

U - Believe it or not, but I don't have any phobias! At least none that spring to mind... I used to be scared of the dark as a very young child, but quickly learned to embrace it as the beautiful, natural thing that it is, to the extent I now prefer it to the light...

L - It completely depends on the circumstances and the company... mood, the weather, how tired I am... all these factors play a part! If I'm with the right person and we're in the right mood, busy days are a great way to spend the time, exploring, and enjoying various activities... however, lounging out in bed with the right person all day and ordering takeaway can be so great too...

U - Being underwater is such a relaxing experience... I used to scuba dive quite a bit, and had some fantastic times exploring various parts of the Mediterranean coasts... however it's not generally something you can do for a long duration, so after a long dive, it's nice to lay out and relax for a bit on the sand... but that said, I'm not a sunbather... I tan, but if I'm on a beach, you'll likely find me walking, paddling, swimming in the sea, exploring rock pools, or being buried in the sand, rather than laying out on it...

S - Scariest movie I like is a tough one... films have never scared me as such, and I have always enjoyed horror as a genre, whether it be supernatural, psychological, slasher, monster or anything and everything inbetween... I do recall a film that affected me a bit when I was young though... Threads (1984)... it's a devastating portrayal of what would happen in the event of a nuclear bomb hitting a small UK town, told in a very matter-of-fact documentary style way... I've watched it since, and the impact it had on that first viewing is not negated much with repeat viewings... definitely not something to watch if feeling depressed...

D - When I was six, I wished hard to be an astronaut so that I could see the stars, haha...

E - In terms of astrology? Or as 'elements'? I don't put much stock in astrology... but I have an open mind and find the subject and its history interesting... a friend of mine was kind enough to do my astrological chart for me over Lockdown... more for her interest/noseyness than mine, but it was very interesting... both me and my girlfriend are fire signs in this regard, so I guess I'd better choose that... as elements, I love anything earth and water, as I love nature and often feel at peace near and in water, despite it essentially 'extinguishing' who I am, astrologically speaking...

M - A memory that brings me happiness... there are a few, so not easy to choose just one... one of more recent ones is last weekend, when I spent a special day with my girlfriend, ahead of her birthday...

A - I guess it depends what you mean by difficult! I learned to play the piano from a young age... it gave me the great ability to be able to read music, something you never forget... I also learned to ski when I was about 14... I also used to race dirt bikes in my late teens and took a rally driving course too... but I still probably cite piano as more difficult than these... probably because I was so young!

L - Wow, this one hits hard to talk about... it was earlier this year, when I'd come out of a very stressful, intense, all consuming relationship... on both sides... something that was no longer what it had been, despite us both still loving and having feelings for one another... once I had taken the decision to finally, and sadly, end it, I'd never felt so alone... I wasn't in a good place... luckily I had some people around me to support me and distract me enough to get through it... I honestly don't think I'd be here typing this now, if I hadn't...

U - Well, everyone is unique, but I doubt I have a talent that is! I can juggle, but that isn't really very unique... I'm a good multi-tasker, but that's also probably because I am an overthinker too... haha... I've unfortunately(?) been someone who has always been good at everything (academics, sports, hobbies) but has never excelled in anything... I was never a stand out performer in anything in particular, really...

S - At the moment I can't stop listening to :Wumpscut: - Hard to Bear... it got lodged in my brain when I was driving the other day, so I am forced by my brain to repeat it until it's been adequately satiated...

[codgod-moved]

OH MY BAD uhh ll!grian then srry again

JHVSJG it’s okay ^-^

a (realistic): he doesn’t have wings in last life!! it messes him up a lot because he’s so used to wings growing in after a few days in a new world so for a little while he kept jumping off things and hurting himself because he forgot he wouldn’t just glide down. he also gets like a phantom weight on his back which doesn’t help

b (funny): he squawks like a parrot when he’s scared, and sometimes when he’s angry. it brings his intimidation factor down to like, zero

c (sad): i remember i saw a post abt how he’s so violent on red and seems to have very little remorse for killing ppl because he remembers the pain of being the last person alive and wants to save his friends from that and.. yea

d (unrealistic): he developed a phobia of cactuses because he was surrounded by them when he killed scar for the last time