#physical media continues to be my beloved

[yepthatsacowalright]

"If you are not forced to be on the screen, then the real agency you have is to ask the question, what is the purpose of this reading? If the purpose is to experience the beauty of an author, if you are doing it on the screen, I assure you, even with your most disciplined habits, you're going to miss - you're going to skim no matter what because that's what we do. We're so accustomed to skimming. So if the purpose is beauty, forget the screen. If the purpose is a contract or something legal that you really need to ponder and pore over, or in my case, often reviewing an article. If I've decided I have to do this article as a review that's careful, I print it out because print does not hasten us. Print goes according to our own pace.

For my email, I assure you, Andrew, I never deep-read, and therefore I skip a lot of things and make mistakes, even. But I do not deep-read many things that all I need is the gist. And when you only need the gist, you can just, you know, use whatever medium you want. But if you want to really go back to your reading habits before the screen, before you became almost a skim reader, then I ask you to really think hard about your choices." - Maryanne Wolf on the Life Kit episode How to practice 'deep reading'

[bookshelfdreams]

ofmd wasn't "profitable" enough but I didn't even get the feeling hbo wanted to make money off of it. They didn't promote it when s1 dropped, and the promo for s2 was erratic at best. They don't sell merch. Or physical copies. There's no bts documentaries other than what actors (shoutout to Samba ilu) make themselves in their spare time.

It took more than a full year for me to be able to watch s1 legally! I still can't access s2 legally anywhere! It's not that ofmd is unprofitable, it's that hbo refuses to profit off of it, because - well, because profiting off of it would mean investing work and money into it.

And like. Of course, when you compare it to the juggernauts hbo holds rights to, like GoT, ofmd is small fishes. But.

How on earth do these clowns think cult classics happen?

A Game of Thrones was first published in 1996 and didn't make it on the NYT beststeller list until 2011. The first edition of the first Harry Potter book was 500 pieces. And yeah, TV shows are different, but if you look at today's media landscape, would things like Star Trek, or Buffy, or Doctor Who stand the slightest chance? These things take time, is my point. A piece of media doesn't become a massively profitable, beloved classic over night. It takes time and effort to build that kind of franchise.

And the thing is! Nobody who makes these decisions even likes stories. I'm convinced that whoever is in charge at hbo, at amazon prime, even at disney, thinks storytelling is dumb and for idiots. They think it's enough to just slap the name of something people love on whatever garbage they spit out, for it to be profitable. They think it's the brand that sells: Look this has "Lord of the Rings" on it! Look, this one has "Game of Thrones", you like Game of Thrones don't you? Watch my show, boy.

But this isn't how this works. It's not the name that sells (unless, I suppose, you're the MCU, and even there one gets the impression the trick is finally stopping to work), especially not when the product is bad. People aren't idiots.

But it's not about making something good. It's not about making a meaningful piece of art, or telling an engaging story. ofmd served its purpose; it drew in all the subscribers it ever would, so there's no point in letting it go on. Even in the s2 that we did get, this is evident: the penny pinching is palpable, it's clear that the studio didn't want to spend any more money than absolutely necessary on it, and then cut the budget by 40%.

It's not about art. It never has been.

And it's not even about profit, because to be profitable eventually, stories have to be allowed to thrive first. You tell a good story first, and success happens later, often much, much later.

And ofmd was incredibly, astonishingly successful. It was the most in-demand series for weeks after the s1 finale. But even that wasn't enough, it's never enough, ofmd could have made record-setting profits and it still would have been cancelled, because -

Well, I don't know. Because we live in a bad time for art. Because Orwell was right, and stories have become commodities, like shoelaces. Because. Well. It's not about telling a story, is it?

What's the point of a story? What's the point of making something for the joy of making it? What's the point of a piece of art, existing, if it cannot be transferred into numbers for the stockholders?

idk how to end this. I hope David Jenkins finishes the story he wanted to tell, even if just for himself. I hope, against all odds, that weird, fun, heartfelt, beautiful little stories like ofmd continue to happen.

But goddammit.

[michanvalentine]

Vincent's slumber

I don't know if anyone has already talked about it, I'm relatively new to social media (and I have the same skill as Vincent in using it). In any case, I share this thought that I have always had, but which with the release of Rebirth came back to my mind stronger than ever. I'm talking about Vincent's sleep. Nothing that comprehends how long it lasted, whether he woke up from time to time to do who knows what or whether he instead remained locked in the coffin for the entire time until Cloud arrived. Maybe I'll talk about this in the future, who knows. Instead, I would like to focus on why Vincent needs so much sleep. In the OG it would seem that he slept for 30 years straight, later with the expansion of the FF VII compilation we learned that there were moments of wakefulness. Even in FF Rebirth, Vincent's crypt seems way more comfortable than a plain one and Vincent's own statements suggest that he has experienced something in the meantime. In any case, we can safely say that Vincent Valentine is a sleepyhead, who spends much of his time sleeping (or napping around, poor Cait Sith). In DoC we saw him dozing under the Nibelheim tree (I hope in one of his moments of pause as a bodyguard, lol), where he and Lucrecia had their picnic. So our hero loves to sleep. Subsequently, after being used for Hojo and Lucrecia's experiments, in DoC Vincent remained in suspended animation in the tube for an unspecified period. Basically asleep. We currently don't know when he woke up, where he got his amazing cloak, and how he ended up lying in a coffin. Always sleeping. Surely after everything that happened to him, poor guy, being depressed, hiding from the world, self-punishing, etc, is quite understandable. And this would explain why he continues to sleep. Until a certain degree. For starters, I've always thought that the reason why, once Chaos and Protomateria were implanted, Vincent didn't wake up immediately was because his body needed time to adapt. To recover. We know that Hojo gave him a virtually indestructible body, but even so the burden of Chaos and the other demons/monsters is physically too much to bear. So both Hojo and Lucrecia thought they had failed in their experiment, precisely because Vincent didn't wake up. Even after regaining consciousness, Vincent continued to sleep in his beloved coffin, because he was unable to come to terms with what happened and what he has become, certainly, but also because physically it was still too much for him. He still has to recover, adapt, struggle for every little thing. And we don't even know how much he needs to hold back to control his four roommates. And we are talking about powerful and dangerous creatures. Chief among these is Chaos, a primordial god of destruction. All this must have a weight, which certainly weighs on the body as well as the soul. In Rebirth this thing seems even more evident to me, starting from the phrase: "Being outside is exhausting, I hate it." Ok, it makes me smile too, if you think about how introverted, antisocial, etc, he is. Plus he's trying to understand and adjust to all the changes that have occurred during the thirty years he's lost, but perhaps the myriad stimuli in the outside world are also exhausting him physically. Because he is not alone, there are five of him inside him, and we don't know exactly how Vincent Valentine perceives the world and on which and how many levels. Certainly, as Rebirth points out, he is very sensitive to everything dark and supernatural.

The Rebirth also gives us the opportunity to better observe the transformation into the Galian Beast. Vincent grabs his head, writhes, screams and the beast takes his place. It is a painful process, which requires physical effort. Not only that, but by the end of the fight, Vincent is completely exhausted. He barely manages to get back on his feet, his arms dangling, his head too, and the steps that separate him from the crypt are difficult and very heavy to take. A painful sight to even watch (at least until he rolls over in the doorway, lol). And no, it doesn't depend on the attacks of Cloud and company, you just need to look at Reno's face after the clash in which sector 7 collapsed to realize it.

Vincent is not injured, his body is indestructible, he doesn't have a scratch, he doesn't limp, he doesn't hold his side or arm where he was hit. No. He is simply emptied, drained, exhausted in every cell of the body by the transformation. What he does is go back to sleep, he needs it, to recover from the effort. Only then will he join Cloud and the others on the Tiny Bronco. This also happens in DoC, during the first meeting/fight with Rosso the Crimson in the city of Edge. When Vincent regains control of himself, after Chaos' intervention, he collapses directly onto the streets of Edge. As long as Shalua gives him the opportunity and time to recover in the tube, at the WRO headquarters. The same thing will happen later after the battle with Azul the Cerulean. Vincent loses consciousness and later wakes up on the floor of the Shinra building. So to conclude, I always thought that yes, he loved to snooze when he was younger. Now he's dozing because he's a grandpa, and maybe he had nothing better to do in the basement of the Shinra Mansion, but he often really, really needs to rest. Physiologically speaking, as far as Valentine's physiology is known. Because being him, Vincent freaking Valentine, is quite a burden.

All the images do not belong to me, I thank those who shared them on the web!

[acewitch-writes]

Hello! I recently found your account, and I went on scrolling down and down...and now I hope you know how grateful I am. Thank u- Merci. About 90% of the content you share here has made me feel so much better. I realllyy hope wonderful things happen for you. I've been a fan of hp since 2001, but I'm not really a social media person so I haven't been active in the fandom. I had no idea what was happening here until recently..two months ago to be exact (other details are not important) and omg.. I ended up in a discussion with some I think, new fans. tbh I thought, "Great! I'm good at this, I read all the books more than once Let's talk :)"  and omg their very first question was "What do you think about Regulus?"

I was like, "Who?" *dying from secondhand embarrassment bc It turns out I'm not that good at this

but as the discussion continued, I became more and more baffled bc "Why was everyone talking about Barty, Evan, and Regulus? who is daddy Remu? and what do you mean people ship James Potter with R.A.B.? What?"

I swear for a moment I thought "Did the writer publish a new book? Did I miss something? " tbh, I respect everyone's opinion it's none of my business but I'm still shocked. The only thing that bothers me is everything that happened with this new Wolfsar

omg, for most fans around my age (or at least people I know), Sirius was the complete portrayal of a bad boy- a rebel, with boots, tattoos, a leather jacket, and a fucking motorcycle. so this new Sirius is like a stranger to me, and that's okay. Mein issue is kinda with this new Remus T T my beloved .

They (the fans I was talking with) told me Remus is "tall, so handsome, SO strong, and hot-headed person because,  yk he's a werewolf." I was like "hot headed? excuse me?" I tried to explain to them that Remus being a werewolf is a metaphor for illnesses like HIV, it's not some superpowery gift.  they didn't believe me, but then they literally looked me in the face and said, "Then why would Sirius like someone like him? He's poor, short, and ugly." I swear I wanted to cry right then and there.

What is this mindset that makes some people think that a person should be, Idk, hot and flawless to deserve to be loved? Yes I don't think Remus is tall and super hot and perfect and isn't it fine? and I am 100% sure he's so beautiful. not like Sirius ofc but he has this "warm, cozy, and soft" sort of beauty. and I don't think he was a coward (ok maybe he was a liitle) but I guess it's easier for us, humans, to take the worst or weakest moment of a character and amplify it until it defines them entirely. and omg I'm so sorry for my rant and my bad english. but once again thank you for your beautiful soul <3 thank you

Hi anon! I, too, am baffled by the recent obsession with Regulus in this fandom. I think Jegulus is fine as a crack ship, but it has become so mainstream that many fans have just gone ahead and canonized it to the point that you'll be vilified for not accepting it as canon. I underestimated how popular the "best friend's brother" trope was, apparently. I also think it appeals to many fans as a Marauders Era version of one of the most popular ships of all time, Drarry.

This new version of Wolfstar is my biggest complaint with today's fandom, too! I get that the Marauders have very limited canon information and therefore we have more creative freedom to flesh them out, but I really believe that it has gone way too far. Sirius and Remus in today's fandom don't bear any resemblance to the characters they're based on. Remus is just a generic alpha werewolf OC and Sirius is his generic himbo femboy love interest OC. They don't even share a physical description with their Canon counterparts, and their personalities and character traits are so far removed that I can't even fathom how we reached this point as a fandom. How can you claim to like these characters if you have to change everything the source material says about them?

You're English is great, by the way! I completely agree that Remus has a cozy-and-warm sort of beauty. He made a point to distance himself from the stigma surrounding Lycanthropy because it was the focal point of his shame and self-loathing. And I just adore Wolfstar's dynamic from this lens, with the intimidatingly beautiful, confident, headstrong Sirius Black, who could have his pick of anyone he wants, choosing this ordinary guy because he's cozy and soft and it's exactly what Sirius wants after surviving the harsh ideals and abuse of House Black.

[skaithis]

| Live for me | Cliso oneshot | VALORANT

🦋 pairing / ship : Clove x Iso 🦋 word count : 3,5k 🦋 tw : suicide attempt, suicide mention, death mention, terminal illness, primary character death 🦋 note : it's my first oneshot in the entire life. Not really sure if it's good enough, since english is my not first language, but I've tried my best. Let me know what you think!

“You should stop doing that, Clove.”

“Why? I don't understand why you don't believe in me, you saw it wasn't a coincidence, I've proven it more than once!”

“You’re not a superhero. Please stop, this is going too far. You don't even know how fleeting life is.”

“...duh. Shut yer gob.”

His words to them were like a cold bucket of water on a body warmed with enthusiasm and excitement. He didn't believe in them? Clove's been trying it a few times... and all because of this bizarre and still unexplained media incident.

That attack near the gym they went to… were they lucky or not? Clove didn't remember much, except the flash of the knife, the vague words echoing down the cramped, stuffy alley in which they were attacked. The man probably wanted money, or their belongings… the only memory that could awaken in Clove was a strange, sudden prick, when they saw again, with the eyes of imagination, a knife thrust into their body, the heat dissipated by an enormous amount of adrenaline... they felt not too much pain, just overwhelming fatigue. Or was there so much pain that the mind wanted to forget it, erase the traumatic struggle for life?

It was just a memory now. It's been a year and a half. No one could explain so many stab wounds that didn't hit any vital organ. None. Luck? Magic power? Destiny? Everyone says it differently. Clove didn't believe it until another accident happened over three months ago, with a lot of fatalities, and they came out with a few scratches and a broken arm. It was supposed to be a simple trip to another country; no one thought what would happen near the end of the trip...

These memories were horrible, painful; howling sirens, glaring lights, screaming echoing, ringing in their little aching head... every time they thought it was the end, they would never see Zhao Yu again, they would never go back to university, they would never laugh at bubble tea with friends, exchanging stories and gossip. And every time they were wrong, leaving the hospital building sooner or later.

It was no different now.

Maybe that's why Iso was so mad at them? Clove's mind didn't get much of his concern for them as they breathed in a bubble of abstract fantasy about their powers. More and more, with each passing day, they believed that it couldn't be a coincidence, that everything that happened to them couldn't have been random luck. And more and more insistently, Clove wanted to prove to him that it was worth believing.

A deep inhale and exhale escaped from their mouths as they gathered thoughts on how to respond to their beloved. But before they opened their mouths, Iso continued.

“Clove, one day your luck will run out. I don't want to lose you because you want to prove something to the world or to yourself. Or me. You know I won't be able to be with you all your life.”

“Eh, fuck up, okay? I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear anything about it, not now,” Clove interrupted him immediately, feeling their heart trembling with fear, filled with thoughts that Zhao Yu is not destined to live as long as they are. ”...I wanted to have a good day, ya know.”

There was a clear definition of distress in his purple, flowery eyes; he felt as if he were slowly losing his beloved, and he could not grasp them, unable to follow them into the inevitable darkness that the Clove had chosen as their path. He was afraid; it was harder and harder for him to look into that charming, unpredictable head on which he kissed tenderly every day. Physical pain often took control over him, occupying his thoughts, robbing him of the happiness he had been striving for with Clove. Which made him think of the darkest questions and scenarios that forced him to reflect.

Will he ever be able to look into their minds again? Understand them, like he used to?

Will Clove want to be understood?

Zhao Yu grabbed their hands, gently drawing circles on their soft skin with his thumb; he always did so when he thought intensely, holding his beloved hand. It was the unconditional reflex that Clove had always seen, trying to guess his thoughts, to understand what was going on. But now it was quite different, Clove could not guess what was in the boy's mind; or rather, they were afraid to guess, so they chose to say nothing, think nothing. For their own good.

The journey home passed in a complete, dense silence, which irritated the nostrils, hurting their throats; it could be said that the lovers were suffocating in the atmosphere they had caused, which in time took on colors of sadness, sorrow. They were both asking themselves the same question.

Why can't my beloved see all of this the way I do?

Silence accompanied them, grabbing their throats until Iso pulled out the keys to the dorm room. Clove dared to speak, looking sadly at Iso, who with a stone face opened the door for them, waiting for them to enter first.

“But... you still love me the same, don’t you?”

A childish question evoked a cheerful smile on Zhao Yu’s face, which he hid, stealthily turning his head towards the room, following Clove inside. He disliked such questions; they were definitely a waste of time and thought. It wasn't worth worrying about, since the answer was always the same. But he also understood that Clove didn't quite know how to start a conversation.

He closed the door behind them, slowly making his way to the kitchen to boil water for tea for both of them. Their little ritual every time they walked into the house together. Only when everything was ready he turned around, hearing the quiet footsteps of his beloved behind him. His hand wandered to their cheek, stroking it; he said nothing, staring at those charming freckles, feeling the remnants of the anger he felt, running away from his body and mind into oblivion, and his muscles relaxed, trying to be as gentle as possible towards Clove.

“Tiánxīn, I will never stop loving you. Even as your life decisions are increasingly worrying me. I know you don't want to talk about this, but we have to do this.”

“Ya promise me that never really means never? Like… never-never ye?”  Clove asked quietly, hugging the beloved, leaning their cheek against his soft sweatshirt, listening to his heartbeat. It was restless. Iso was nervous about starting this conversation, but they had to go through this together. They both needed it. Without anger, without convincing oneself by force, and without running away from the subject. It took too long. They had to understand each other. For their sake.

“…It really means that,”  Iso replied without hesitation, hugging them in his iron embrace, allowing them to endure that sweet moment, and the silence around them was warm and safe.

“But say it, please?” they whimpered with puppy eyes, wanting to hear exactly what they said a moment ago, but from their beloved.

“...fine. Never-never,” sometimes Iso didn't see the point in trying to get the conversation back on track right away. The little mocking and little words they used were their love language, and he loved to tease Clove, pretending to forget about them.

There was a pile of papers on the table, perfectly arranged; Iso apparently put them there before picking up Clove from the hospital. It was hard for him to begin this conversation, but he calmed down, looking into the innocent, silver eyes of his beloved, wanting them to understand his point of view.

“Clove,” he started, putting the tea aside, grabbing one medical file after another, slowly leafing through them, page by page. “I know what happened a year and a half ago was a miracle. I never meant to call it like that but... from the beginning, I believed you were extraordinary. Every time you’ve had an accident, I became more and more sure of what I thought. But look,” he continued, carefully rolling up the sleeve of their shirt to show Clove the scar on their own freckled skin.” This was from three months ago, a bus accident on the highway. It wasn't your fault, of course... but it left you a scar for life. And now? Clove, you fell off the fucking balcony. I’ve read your hospital documents today, and I can't believe it was an accident, the way you so brilliantly described it to the doctors, so smart. I didn't want to start this in front of the hospital building, but it was called a miracle again. It's a miracle you're alive. And how many scars do you have from that? How many painful memories do you write on your skin this way? Every time I look at this, I feel like I'm losing you.”

Tears gathered in his eyes, Clove felt his hands were shaking. Iso was right. How many times have they pushed themselves into the embrace of death, which casted an icy glance at them, only to turn away at the last moment? Why would they think only of themselves to prove it to the world? Why didn't they think about the emotions of those close to her? Zhao Yu, their friends... they were everything to them. So why did they act like they had nothing to lose?

Was the answer his cruel illness, slowly taking his life? Clove did not want to be left alone, yet that future was inevitable for them, waiting for their journey together, one day they would end alone. 

It's only a matter of time.

Tears flowed down their cheeks, the world became blurred. They cried loudly, looking at the hospital papers piled up on the table in front of them. Could they have died that many times? This madness... it seemed like an unreal dream, as if all the visits and the pain and the fear were already dusty fiction that they read a few years ago without believing a word of it.

And yet all these thoughts were obscured by an icy fact that screamed all the time in the chaos of thoughts whirling around.

Iso is slowly dying.

“ ... You promised me we’d finish college together and adopt a cat! Adopt our little stupid Simba, ae?! Where is my behavior all of sudden selfish when you will just… just walk away to the other plane of existence or something whatever they have up there and leave me forever? Why is testing my gift an act of selfishness for you when you're gonna die?”

Clove didn't quite know how to collect the chaotic thoughts scattered all over their lost head. They felt like a lost child, waiting for a clue, a path to take. When they looked into Iso’s eyes, everything suddenly seemed terrifying. 

Zhao Yu knew that words should not be spoken now; silence and their tears were the most precious when he again held them tightly in his arms, wanting to remain with them forever, to protect them from the world, from their lost mind wandering for too long. Even if words could explain or justify anything, he had no idea what he could convey to them.

“I know you don’t want to lose me, my butterfly, but... you have to be aware that it will happen someday. My illness is progressing, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but... we can't avoid this subject anymore. Every day I'm happy to have the chance to wake up with you, to live with you... you don't know how I feel when I think I can lose that.”

Sorrowful, lavender eyes looked deep into Clove's soul, wanting to ease their pain; though this not something material, he felt he could get into their soul with a very tender gesture, word, healing its bleeding wounds slowly, bringing comfort. Clove nodded as an answer, unable to say even the smallest word for a long time.

“Me too... I don’t want to wake up without you... and yet it will happen. When? When, ya numpty? So selfish…” they muttered, but their beloved did not know the answer. The trembling hands clamped on the soft sweatshirt of his.

“I don’t know, tiánxīn.”

His words echoed through the dorm, and the only answer was silence. Iso grabbed their face, giving them one, tender kiss. They looked each other in the eyes again, resigned, tired of the actual fight. It was too much.

“Let’s live. For both of us” Iso smiled tenderly, and Clove had no choice but to nod. They were helpless children who were exposed to a cruel reality, left to fend for themselves. They couldn't waste those moments, those crumbs of life they had left.

Their lives went on; they went to university together in peace, they met with friends. The wounds healed with every morning, a warm smile full of happiness, raindrops streaming down the glass on cloudy days... a sip of sweet white tea, a gentle gesture of hands... every crumb of their life together was another step to the future they might have before them, which they timidly built. Month after month, Iso's health got worse, but Clove's support helped him continue his normal student life.

This last semester, the hospital was inevitable.

Clove had to survive their first day alone in the dorm, the whole world became gray and just blant. No melody… no view was the same. Everything seemed dead, withered. This is how they lived now, going to the hospital to visit Iso was harder with each passing day. This little bit of light that these visits gave them was a still smoldering hope that things would get better.

They promised each other they'd live. Right..?

Another month passed, and loneliness became one of Clove's parts. They went to classes, talked to people, and the pain had become… some kind of a habit.

The last class went by very quickly. As the Clove left the university building, only the moon and a few stars illuminated the world around them, and the sound of the wind dancing through the treetops broke the silence. The Clove did not want to be left alone with their thoughts, slowly accepting that they must leave the past behind. It was hard, but with small steps, and with the help of their beloved, they knew they could do it. Step by step they walked towards the dormitory, feeling that this incredibly short journey was going far too long. More and more people passed by until Clove realized there were far too many of them.

They looked around; there were a lot of people standing in front of the dorm building, looking up, pointing at something, taking pictures, recording. When they raised their head like the rest of the crowd, their heart stopped.

The girl standing in the window on the fifth floor. The wind blew away her hair, and she stood barefoot on the window sill, looking down. Clove took off their headphones, suddenly hearing the noise of screams and chaos around her.

“Do you think she’ll jump?”

“Someone call the police! Don’t stare at her, you idiots!”

“Help her!”

Has time slowed down? All the memories Clove had in their head suddenly went quiet. They entered the building without hesitation, rushing up the stairs, not feeling the slightest bit of fatigue, the breath was even, but the heart was beating like crazy. No thought barged in their mind, not even a shadow of doubt, when they saw the door, which must have led to the girl's room. 

They tugged the doorknob; closed. Despite their small body, Clove managed to kick the right spot to break the door and get inside. They themselves did not know they had so much strength; adrenaline allows for inexplicable things.

Immediately they felt a strong draft; an open balcony, whose doors opened and closed in turn, slamming the dancing white curtains.

The girl did not see Clove, and apparently because of stress and fear she did not pay attention to the noise; she leaned over, letting go of the balcony rails. 

Time was non-existent at this short moment, nothingless was around; Clove jumped on the balcony, grabbing the girl’s clothes with all their might, holding her tightly. Their tiny body couldn’t cope with the girl’s larger weight, so Clove stood leaning over the balcony, looking into the eyes of a frightened girl who seemed to snap out of her trance, realizing what was going on.

“Take my hand! Fuck, I beg ya!“

Clove's voice was filled with despair as they looked at the girl with tears in their eyes, and their strength slowly subsided, hands shook with effort, and their fingertips became whiter and whiter. The strength returned once more when the girl made a gesture to show that she still wanted to fight, she still wanted to live. She grabbed their hand tightly; now they both were hanging in a dangerous position, but Clove shrieked with the remnants of their forces, throwing the girl in, and… losing their balance.

Those moments were like a slideshow happening right in front of their eyes. They didn't even remember the girl's face, except for those frightened, gray eyes that begged for help.

Maybe that's why it happened? Would the Clove have come to their senses, valuing their lives over hers, if it weren't for this silent plea for rescue? Now it was too late to guess and wonder. The last sight they saw was a cloudless sky and pale stars before dark.They closed their eyes to see their loved one's smile in their memories for the last time. 

Everything will be okay.

“It’s not the first time they’ve been lucky. There were already a lot of incidents in their files, the media talked about it.”

“It was no longer luck in my opinion. It was stupidity and nothing more”

“But they are hero after all.”

The vague words reached Clove's head before they opened their eyes. They learned the quiet rhythm of the hospital apparatus, which they had heard many times before. They were alive. They did it again.

They couldn't even whisper a word or move. The white coats in front of them suggested the voices belonged to the doctors. As soon as they saw Clove awake, they immediately came closer to talk and ask some questions.

“Hello Clove, please tell me how you can hear us,” said the oldest of the doctors, measuring their pulse and examining their body reactions. “You're very lucky to be alive. The surgery went well and it looks like you're doing okay for now. Keep it up and maybe you'll get out of the hospital as quickly as before.“

“What... surgery...” Clove could barely whisper the words that frightened them. Trying to get up, they felt a huge pain in their chest. Doctors immediately stopped them from even trying to get up.

“You had multiple organ failure caused by a massive fall. It's a good thing you didn't fall directly on your skull, or we wouldn't have been able to save you.“

The silence that followed these words was overwhelming, breathtaking, mercilessly catching the throat and forcing tears. They survived. They miraculously survived. But someone gave their life for it.

“Whose... whose organs do I have?” they whispered, looking blankly into space until they saw a letter on a small table next to their bed. They stretched out their hand in silence, and tears flowed uncontrollably down their pale cheeks, as the first letters allowed them to see who the handwriting belonged to.

“Clove,

For a long time, I felt my time was coming. When they brought you to the hospital, I felt like this was the time to say goodbye. I've always feared I'd lose you, and I would never stand one second of my life knowing you were gone before me. My last act to leave with dignity and peace was to agree that you could carry my heart and live.

So live for the two of us. Finish college together, adopt the cat we've always dreamed of. Make our favorite tea every day and laugh, smile, because I've always loved to look at you when you were happy.

Just live for me.

Li Zhao Yu.“

***

That day was exceptionally sunny. White tea, freshly brewed, slowly cooled on the window sill, from which there was a magnificent view of the endless sea. Clove watched the waves crashing into the sandy shore, thoughtfully. The scars were barely visible; besides, they often dressed so that those memories could be seen; then they felt as if Zhao Yu was still with them. The meow of the cat, which demanded attention, awakened them from their thoughts

“Yeh, come on, Simba, give me five minutes and we’re going for a walk as I promised aye? Just… let me finish my tea. It’s my sacred ritual ya know that.“ 

They smiled at their pet, which ignored the owner’s words and continued to make a noise. Clove rolled their eyes, looking back at the setting sun, smiling.

“So… what are our next dreams, Iso?”

Thank you for reading!~

[peytons-depression-land]

With BlackBerry, Matt Johnson continues to show no other director has a better understanding of our modern, media-molded minds

For those unfamiliar, Matt Johnson is a 37-year-old Canadian indie filmmaker, whose new film BlackBerry, which he co-wrote, directed, and co-stars in, was released this past week. BlackBerry charts the rise and fall of the Canadian creators and company behind the once ubiquitous “BlackBerry” smart phone, a device that’s now a relic to the pre-iphone aughts. The film chronicles the triumphs and tribulations of the phone’s creators, underdog nerds Mike Lazaridis and Dough Fregin, and cutthroat businessman and Blackberry co-CEO Jim Balsillie, who both launched the phone to its successes and helped destroy all they created. Johnson’s previous features are The Dirties, a found footage dark comedy/drama about the lives of two film obsessed high schoolers leading up to a school shooting, and Operation Avalanche, a period thriller about low level CIA agents faking the moon landing – a film in which said agents con their way into NASA, which Johnson and his crew actually did in real life when making the low budget indie film. However, Johnson’s most iconic work, and most beloved by many, is his mockumentary comedy series, which started as a web series and was later adapted to TV, Nirvanna the Band the Show. The series details the misadventures and schemes of a fictionalized version of Johnson and his friend, musician Jay McCarrol, as they try to get their band – Nirvanna the Band – a show at the Toronto restaurant and music venue “The Rivoli.” You might know this series from the now famous "Update Day" clip in which the duo sing along to the Wii shop music. In 2021, Johnson and McCarrol even made a three-episode animated children’s spin off of Nirvanna the Band, titled Matt and Bird Break Loose. A unifying aspect of much of Johnson's work is his narrative documentary style of filmmaking, often employing real people in Sacha Baron Cohen-style moments.

Something about me: I'm kind of a Matt Johnson obsessive. Any time I meet someone from Canada under the age of 40, I ask them if they've heard of Matt Johnson or Nirvanna the Band the Show. I have multiple back-up hard drives with the complete web series and TV seasons of Nirvanna the Band because it's impossible to get/find now in the US. Anytime I'm in a large media store that sells 2nd hand movies (like Amoeba Records), I religiously spend time searching to see if, by some small chance, they have one of the physical copies of The Dirties (the ones with the variant covers that look like Criterion Collection covers) - it's kinda my physical media holy grail. My DVD of Operation Avalanche is one of my most prized possessions. Hell, I’ve even tried my hand at replicating Johnson’s style numerous times, a short film I made while at film school abroad in France being the main example. So, suffice to say: I was very excited for Blackberry.

With BlackBerry Johnson is making significant stylistic and scale leaps from his previous works, “making it to the big leagues” as someone more confident than me with sports metaphors might say. It’s a bigger movie than he’s made before, getting a limited national release here in the US, by a major indie distributor (IFC), starring two sizeable, well-known actors (It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia’s Glenn Howerton and comedy mainstay Jay Baruchel). All this far from the rag-tag, small scale, underground nature of his previous works, where the cast was the filmmakers and the biggest names involved were Vice (and its since defunct TV network) and Kevin Smith whose company distributed The Dirties. Stylistically, BlackBerry makes the jump from Johnson’s previous found footage/mockumentary movie (both terms sounding far more derisive to the idiosyncratic style of Johnson’s films than I’d like) to a fully “traditional” narrative feature. With both The Dirties and Operation Avalanche, as well as NTBTS, the characters are involved in the actual act of filmmaking, for one reason or another, and aware of the camera filming them, the cameramen being acknowledged entities. The footage you’re watching is filmed, edited, and staring the characters on screen. But, with BlackBerry, besides a fun visual gag from Glenn Howerton at the beginning of the film, the cameras exist as they would in any normal movie – invisible watchers of the events.

What makes BlackBerry and Johnson’s filmmaking so great though is that he doesn’t just abandon all semblance of his style and aesthetic, becoming some bland gun for hire, like so many indie directors plucked from festival success to helm the next cinematic toy line for Marvel. Instead, he finds ways to work his style into this more traditional film in compelling ways. While the camera is no longer literally in the story, it still hovers around the characters, with longtime Johnson DP Jared Raab often shooting through the obstruction of windows, from far away, and with the back of heads in the foreground. The camera zooms and focuses in and out of different characters and things in the moment, cinema verité style, Johnson describing in a Q&A for the film having been influenced by documentaries like Pennebaker and Hegedus’ The War Room. The looming, documentary-like camera works perfectly for this constantly manic story of slap dash, neurotic tech wizzes and on edge CEO sociopaths, the camera matching the characters nature. For this story of greed, corporate malignancy, and the loss of ideals, the camera’s living style also feels like what you’re watching is covert, hacked CCTV footage. It makes the viewer feel like they’re seeing what actually happened: secret footage from inside the office, fly on the wall stuff, intimate to these people and these conflicts.

True to the overarching motif in Johnson’s work of media’s permanent place in our cultural language and experience, Blackberry is filled visual references to other movies: from a non-diegetic montage of famous sci-fi technology over the opening credits, to scenes of the lovable band of “Research in Motion” nerds enjoying movie nights of Raiders of the Lost Ark and They Live, to movie posters lining the walls of the RIM offices and featured on Doug’s t-shirts. Johnson perfectly described how necessary referencing other media was to his film when he explained “Pop culture that we think of as just nerdy ephemera, I believe sincerely, winds up dictating what technologists create that will become the future.” Well timed needle drops help ground the work in its specific world of a nerds 1996, 2003, and 2007, and frequent Johnson collaborator (and aforementioned co-star of Nirvanna the Band) Jay McCarrol brings a pumping synth score, not too dissimilar to Trent Reznor’s work in The Social Network, but with a uniquely quirkier, lo-fi essence that fits perfectly with the indie feel of both the film itself and its subject matter.

Thankfully we’re not entirely deprived of Johnson’s charismatic, comedic screen presence in BlackBerry. While not the Orson Wells-style leading man both in front of and behind the camera he was in his previous works, he still features in Blackberry as the third of our main 3 characters, Doug Fregin, co-engineer/creator of the famous phone, who acts in a way as the film’s audience surrogate. Despite Doug being a “goof” as Balsillie describes him, he’s the heart of the main three characters, the moral center to which we compare Balsillie’s shrewd cunning, lies, and manipulations, and Lazaridis’s tragic moral downfall from tech idealist to bottom-line businessman. Doug is undoubtedly a character in the typical “Johnsonian mold” - a movie quoting, John Carpenter t-shirt and sweatband wearing, ninja turtle loving hyperactive who uses Star Wars references in business meetings. In fact, the character seems molded in the film more on Johnson than the real man, given that, as Johnson explained, he’s a “true cipher… has never done a taped interview,” leaving Johnson with room for interpretation.

However, while Johnson delivers a more lighthearted, comedy performance, as a director he pulls some impressive dramatic performances from Howerton and Baruchel. It’s true that the movie is, at its core, a dark comedy, so there’s some great comedy in the lead performances, Howerton delivering that trademark snark and unhinged rage his Always Sunny character has become known for and Baruchel with his awkward nerdiness. I have no doubt Howerton’s scene in which he, in a rage, screams “I’m from Waterloooooo! Where the vampires hang out!” - in a moment that must be seen to be believed - will become a quoted classic before long. But the characters aren’t just farce Social Network parodies, they have depth and drama to them, a credit to Johnson’s directing and Howerton and Baruchel’s acting. You feel Balsillie’s underlying insecurity and attraction to power that drives him. You hurt seeing Lazaridis slowly turning into what he once stood against and the tragedy of him reaching his ethical “point of no return” when he agrees to the BlackBerry touchscreen phone being manufactured overseas, in order to meet budget and deadline. We also get some delightful supporting performances from the likes of Saul Rubinek, Rich Sommer, Cary Elwes, and Michael Ironside as an imposing, rotund, bolo tie wearing, hard ass COO.

BlackBerry is a tragic tale of ambition and passion succumbing to ego and greed, and in so it’s not only a movie about the tech sector, but also about the struggle of making art. Lazaridis struggles, and ultimately fails, to maintain integrity while creating a technology he loves and believes in against a world run by people like Balsillie who only seek profit and status, quality be damned as long as it sells. Anyone who makes art, especially films, is up against the same problem. There will always be Mike Lazaridis and Matt Johnson’s, there will always be Jim Balsillie’s and David Zaslav’s, and there will always be a struggle between the two: art and commerce. The tragedy comes when the creator, like Lazaridis, loses their principles, and begins creating not for the love of it, but out of obligation and out of profit. The triumphs come when the creator finds a way to take what they love, what they’re good at, and what is meaningful to them, - their vision - and deliver it to the masses with the heart intact, as Johnson has done throughout his career, now with BlackBerry more than ever. It’s up to the creator to stand fast and endure to create their meaningful works, as oftentimes the sharks will get along either way, as we see in the end credits with Balsillie, who avoided any jail time for his stock fraud committed while co-CEO of BlackBerry.

While I don’t think they're for everybody, Matt Johnson's works capture the modern media deluged culture that we all exist in better than any other modern artist or filmmaker. His movies are always about movies, whether they narratively are or not, just as our lives have become subsumed by media consumption, regurgitation, and reinterpretation. We now live in a world where almost every movie and TV show is at our fingertips 24/7 - a religion, the upgrade to dreaming, the codex we classify our existence on - and his film-making style and characters reflect that. The characters, especially the characters Johnson portray, speak in a lingua franca of movies quotes. His camera is alive and involved in the action, often literally, just as our cameras and screens are every day. His editing blends the real world with the movie world, blurring the lines. His movies are not documentaries, but they’re certainly not just fiction, something in between, a dreamlike blend for our media-soaked minds. I’ve never been one good at the rigid definitions of “modernism” and “post modernism” in art, but I have to believe Johnson is the cutting edge of whatever “post-post-post…Modern” stage we’re at currently. The Dirties is about media’s role in the lives of a youth more connected but also alienated than ever before. Operation Avalanche takes the uniquely western art form of film and uses it to represent how governments often use media to manufacture their own fictions to control the public narrative. Nirvanna the Band the Show shows how media influences our everyday lives, friendships, personalities, and dreams. And now BlackBerry serves as a cautionary tale for the fate an artist can fall to if they let their work become a product instead of a passion and art. As we drift further into the oblivion of inevitable ecological, political, social collapse, media becoming the God of our reality, Matt Johnson is our guru, beaming our media-soaked psyche back on to the screen, creating innovative, funny, compelling stories of life through the lens of a movie-fed world.

[zartophski]

Lmao I love how the monstrosity of a list they gave us on how to watch pokeani is already outdated. I've been watching xy with my partner on Hulu, went to continue the other day only to find that sun and moon is there now. No clue where xy went or if it's just lost to the void. Luckily we've got other methods of watching but my god

I had a dream last night that I found the motherlode of pokeani DVDs at a used media store, devastated it was only a dream. I've been slowly collecting physical media and have most of the movies and some of DP, Alola, and Journeys at this point. Physical media beloved <3

[nekoannie-chan]

Old pets

Title: “Old pets”

Ship: Anna Marie D’Ancanto & James Howlett (Friendship).

Word count: 549 words.

Rating: Teen.

Square: N2 “Pets”.

Summary: Rogue and Logan talked about their pets.

Warnings/Tags: Pets, little sad maybe.

A/N: This is my entry to @marvelrarepairbingo  @marvelrarepairs MarvelRarePair Bingo Round 2 2023. Annie MRP-066.

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou​  @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad​ @navybrat817​ @angrythingstarlight​ @shield-agent78​ @charmed-asylum​ @caplanbuckybarnes​  @sapphire-rogers @nana1000night @talia-rumlow​ @writingshae​ @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare​ @endlesstwanted​  @chemtrails-club​ @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​ @here4thefanfics​ @theestorm​ @patzammit @kmc1989

Logan and Rogue got together to reminisce about the good times they had spent with their pets on the day off they had had after a long time. Logan began by telling about his first dog, a black-haired Labrador named Brutus who was a faithful companion for many years in his childhood, whenever he was sick, the dog would lie at his feet. There were other pets at home as well, such as cats, rabbits and even some exotic birds.

Logan had had a long list of pets throughout his life. He also couldn't forget the cat named Patches, nor the white angora rabbit named Ollie. As a child, Logan used to spend hours with them in the backyard throwing them food and playing with them while waiting for his father to return.

“My first dog, Brutus, was just amazing. He was always by my side when I was sick or sad. His loyalty was unwavering," Logan said.

When Logan finished his story, Rogue took her turn to share her memories.

Then Rogue began to talk about her little canary named Max that she had and her turtle that she sometimes took for walks in the park, she didn't have many pets as a child, and after her powers came along, she was afraid to harm them even if she didn't do it on purpose.

Amid nostalgia, Logan and Rogue smiled as they reminisced about the good times they had spent with their beloved pets. Although they felt a certain sadness in remembering them, they knew that their memories would always be with them. knowing that even though their pets were not physically present, the love they felt for them would never disappear. Together, they continued to recall more anecdotes and laugh as the afternoon wore on.

Logan and Rogue continued to reminisce about their pets, laughing and sharing stories. It was a much-needed break from their busy lives and they both felt grateful for the time they had spent together. As the day came to an end, Logan and Rogue said their goodbyes and promised to do it again soon. They both knew that their pets had brought them together and that the memories they shared would always hold a special place in their hearts.

“It was a good time, weren't they, Rogue? "

“Yes, Logan, it was... it was. "

“And that's not the best part. You see, all those pets, extraordinary as they were, were just the beginning of my lifelong journey with animals. There's so much more to tell, but, that's a story for another time," Logan said with a mysterious smile.

Rogue's eyes widened. She wanted to know more, to dive into Logan's fascinating world of pets and wonder. The day may have come to an end, but the story had left her wanting more.

“I can't wait to hear more, Logan. Let's plan another day to meet and continue sharing our pet stories," Rogue smiled after speaking.

“Of course, Rogue. I have many more stories to tell. Until then, take care and treasure your pet memories," Logan replied as he nodded.

And they said goodbye, knowing that their love for animals would always bind them together. Rogue left feeling inspired and excited for the next time they would meet to share more stories.

[thecherokeediaries]

Thank You, Karrine Steffans

Before we had Instagram, influencers, and Instagram baddies, we had video vixens that ruled the late ‘90s and early 2000s with their beautiful faces, alluring charm and natural sex appeal. These women generally had a bad reputation for being ‘undeserving’ of these social circles and for supposedly ‘sleeping their way to the top.’ They even struggled to have their peers take them seriously, so they struggled even more to earn their bosses’ respect in the workplace. Slut-shaming was inevitable as a video vixen at the time, but no one expected them to speak out against those claims the way Karrine Steffans did. Karrine Steffans is not only the most iconic video vixen, but she’s someone who’s influence runs deep over the current influencers we see to this day.

Karrine Steffans, also known as Superhead, is an American author, actress, and former hip-hop music video vixen. She gained significant attention and notoriety in the early 2000s for her memoir, "Confessions of a Video Vixen," which detailed her experiences as a video girl in the music industry.

Born on August 24, 1978, in Saint Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands, Steffans moved to the United States as a child and grew up in Florida. She entered the entertainment industry in the late 1990s and quickly became one of the most recognizable video vixens, appearing in numerous music videos for popular artists such as Jay-Z, R. Kelly, and Mystikal.

In 2005, Steffans released her memoir, "Confessions of a Video Vixen," which became a New York Times bestseller. The book provided an insider's perspective on the entertainment industry, shedding light on the exploitation and mistreatment of women in the field. It also revealed her past relationships with several high-profile celebrities.

Confessions of a Video Vixen is Karrine Steffans’ memoir detailing the first 25 years of her life. She had a troubled upbringing in poverty and suffering physical abuse, drug abuse, sexual assault. She lived as a teenage runaway and turned to sex work and hip hop modeling to support herself and her son. The book wasn’t a simple autobiography, but she also divulged the juicy details of her sexual relationships. Some of the men she talked about had kids, girlfriends and wives; they were beloved in their respective industries. Karrine was just a video vixen.

Based on my adult analysis of the situation, I conclude Karrine Steffans was not wrong. I accept the hurt of the women whose partners were mentioned in Karrine's book; however, I disagree with the fact that the men were allowed to get away with their acts. It is not surprising that Karrine takes most of the blame. The men with whom she was involved knew they had girlfriends, wives and families at home, but they still found a way to be with Karrine, who was single. As a result, one of the men she mentioned later gave her a demeaning nickname that is still often used today. The nickname “Superhead” was what she was referred to for the rest of her career, not only was it demeaning but it was dehumanizing if she wasn’t already laughed at from the public this name alone was enough for people to laugh and her as less than.

Following the success of her memoir, Steffans continued to write and release more books, including "The Vixen Diaries" and "SatisFaction: Erotic Fantasies for the Advanced & Adventurous Couple." These books explored her personal experiences, relationships, and sexual encounters.

Aside from her writing career, Steffans has also made appearances on television shows, including "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "The Tyra Banks Show," and "The Wendy Williams Show." She has been involved in controversies and public feuds with other celebrities over the years, further fueling her media presence.

Karrine will always have a place among the most influential women for many reason, but mainly because she is the first woman I saw who refused to let powerful men dictate how her story unfolded. She wrote her book, recounted her own story, told it from her perspective, and didn't allow anyone else to rewrite its story. Previously, the men around Karrine Steffans controlled her narrative and passed it off as truth because people weren't prepared to understand her. Karrine was not seen as a person by those men, so she was expected to keep quiet as they humiliated and belittled her. The culture of slut-shaming has changed greatly over the past few decades, especially for video vixens, and Karrine is a key contributor to the shift.

And to that I say…

Thank You, Karrine Steffans

[martyrbat]

Hi! Um, I thought I would offer you these panels from utrh of Dick with a knee brace, as per your last few posts about disabled representation in comics. Also indirectly answering that other anon who said that representation in comics isn't exciting and can't work with them being superheroes...

And I mean, you can totally write intriguing and interesting stories about a character coming to terms with their disability and figuring out that while it makes them different from who they were before, they're still a fucking hero. (Like Babs becoming Oracle after losing the use of her legs. Making her walk again and be Batgirl again... Idk how you can call that anything other than ableism?? She's seriously cool as Oracle, that def didn't need any retcons.)

Anyway, I think the problem is that many people associate being disabled with ableist prejudices of helplessness, without even being fully aware of it. Which is exactly why more rep in any type of media would help!

my friend! your post is as wonderful and insightful as always and thank you so much for the panels, i forgot which comic they were from! this it was exactly what i was referring to and imagining when talking about his knee brace, thank you again!! i love how its something that allows him to continue being a hero and that it just exists instead of being a big plot point. just casual and normalized use of mobility aids my beloved <33

and absolutely agree in it creating interesting stories of them adapting and handling the changes they need to make because of their disability and how it doesn't make them weaker! i think to this panel from the batman chronicles specifically:

[ID: Barbara Gordon smiling at white birds as she's in her wheelchair. Behind her un-detailed people are walking as they go about their lives. Her hair flows slightly in the wind and her internal narration boxes read, "A little over a year has passed since my old life ended, since I died and was reborn. The shadows remain, but only to give contrast to the light. I am no longer a distaff impersonation of someone else. I'm me - more me than I have ever been. My life is my own. I embrace it, and the light, with a deep, continuing joy." END ID]

the entire issue is so well done in her voicing her discomfort and fear and anger at her sudden disability and the change. because of course its frustrating to have that sudden change. of course she feels lost when she based her purpose on being batgirl, something that depended on her being physically abled. and seeing that voice and feelings being represented alongside of it highlighting and showing that she still has purpose and is just as powerful and capable of doing what she loves is so <3 she found her identity, not as an extension of anyone else but just as herself, as a disabled woman. and how happy she is!

i think abled people tend to be so uncomfortable with the idea of disabled people (especially physically disabled people) being happy or still being powerful. they hate the idea of disabled people not being weaker to them while also hating the anger and frustration that can come with being disabled. they hate seeing us successful and just as capable and hate seeing us as human rather than a "poor victim" to put up on a pedestal for inspiration porn that makes them feel better about themselves.

we're allowed to "motivation" to them as they simultaneously think its unnatural for us to be happy or successful on our own. we're either looked down at or held to standards that abled people arent - never to be equal. im allowed to be just as pissed off as someone that can walk and move around freely. i should be allowed to be as messy or rude as someone thats neurotypical without being viewed as a child to pity or as someone that should be better than them in my behaviour. i should be allowed to be smart and sexy and funny and complex as anyone else. my disabilities doesn't make me more or less of a person. it just makes me a person thats disabled.

disability is such a broad spectrum. from paralyzed, needing canes or wheelchairs or any mobility device, needing hearing aids or anything that's physically noticeable. to chronic pain and neurodevelopment disorders and other invisible disabilities. and everyone's experience is different with each one and its so vast. the opportunities it allows and how fascinating and empowering it'll be to see this range and how these characters handle it is unbelievable and such wasted potential. from dealing with the sudden frustrations and limitations to it just being part of them.

it can literally be one panel in a random comic that says nightwing needs a knee brace because of worn cartilage and have it be part of his character casually and consistently. have an ongoing arc and theme of random brain injury side effects because of the head trauma hes taken and have a moving moment in being reassured and how he struggles with it. have something.

theres so much they can do and just refuse not to. the only reason disabilities isnt represented is pure ableism, there is no excuse.

[lapiscasuali]

There's this boy

I was poking around an old (non-tumblr) blog of mine, long abandonded, login forgotten. I guess my computer remembered the login for me because in my haphazard clicking I ended up falling into the backend, a list of posts before me. Including drafts. Posts never posted, that I barely if at all remember writing. Snapshots of a younger me, seperated from now by just over a decade. So focused, so idealistic.

I thought I'd finally let some of those words see the light of day. I've changed somewhat, I've definitely lost the surety of gender, but I like to believe that I have retained some of that idealism, and that the sentiment of last sentence remains true.

"There's this boy" 24th Feb 2013

Labels: Futurism, Sleep deprivation

There's this boy, and all he wants in life is to live in the future. Not so much to get older quicker, more to experience the far future. So he devours sci-fi and spec-fic media. Books like Neuromancer, and The Diamond Age, where humans blend seamlessly with the technology around them. Games like Mass Effect that demonstrate a relatively newly space-faring humanity, veritable virgins in the galactic landscape. Settings like Revelation Space, where humanity, wiser but still possessing it's myriad flaws, is verging on transhumanism, moving beyond regular evolution, to Eclipse Phase, where transhumanity is all there is. Consciousness can be uploaded and downloaded, tinkered with and altered as easily as one might get a tattoo.

Science is another passion. Physics in particular. He doesn't remember which came first, his love for the future, or his love for science, but it doesn't seem to matter. Each lead directly to the other, and he studies hard, or at least as hard as a boy will when surrounded by his beloved tech, so he can be part of as much of the future as his human life will allow. And he hopes beyond hope, that that limit keeps moving further and further away as science and technology continue to make breakthroughs in longevity.

I think about this boy and I think, all he really wants is what any, or at least many of us want deep down. He is working under the same mental drive that forces people to believe in a supernatural afterlife, or reincarnation. He wants immortality. He fears death, yes, though he will not readily admit it to himself, but it is not this that drives him. You see he loves science and he loves the future because he loves humanity, as one loves and worries about a dear friend. He wants to see humanity's potential realised, to witness them reach out into space and explore and learn. To beat disease, and eventually death. To inevitably become greater than humanity itself, and be born into something wholly new.

He fears death, but more often he fears that this will remain in the realm of sci fi and spec fic. He wants to live long and learn, and for humanity to learn with him, for he knows that we live in a finite universe, and learning is all there is. There is no greater goal, no greater reason to live than to learn and experience and love, and there is so much of it to do, so much that his heart screams out in joy and terror at the shear magnitude of it all, and he cannot do it alone. So he studies his physics and follows his technology, and he hopes. He loves humanity and he hopes.

[punster-2319]

HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY ALADDIN

Disney’s 31st animated film was released on this day in 1992 and has since become one of the studio’s classics and my personal favorite. Directed by John Musker and Ron Clements (fresh off the success of their previous hit The Little Mermaid) and a phenomenal soundtrack by composer Alan Menken and song lyrics Howard Ashman (his final film) and Tim Rice. Just like with their previous musical films The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin was was a box office hit, surpassing both previous films by grossing over $200 million domestically which was a record for animated films at the time and wouldn’t be surpassed until 2 years when their next film The Lion King grossed over $300 million domestically.

I love this movie. As stated above, not only is it my favorite Disney movie, but it’s my favorite movie period. Running at 90 minutes, Aladdin has the perfect length for a movie (personal preference I know, but something about it being approximately an hour and half just has that right balance of not feeling too long or short). The story is simple but REALLY fun and just flows at a natural pace, again thanks to the movie’s length. This movie more than any other Disney animated feature really takes advantage of its medium and pushes it to the limit. I’ve always been a fan of slapstick cartoons like classic Looney Tunes/Tom and Jerry, Animaniacs, etc so Aladdin fits into that mold perfectly for me. This is also Disney’s best comedy and there’s only two other Disney films I can think of that match this film’s comedic energy (one of them also being directed by Musker and Clements).

I honestly don’t know what else I can say about Genie that hasn’t been said already. He’s the best comic relief/sidekick character, the late great Robin Williams set the bar really high with his iconic performance and paved the way for more pop culture based humor in animated films later down the line (for better and for worse). Even without the Genie, there’s still plenty of funny moments throughout the movie like this moment:

On that note, Jafar is also a great Disney villain. He has that perfect balance of stoic and campiness along with a great character design that contrasts from the other characters but still fits in the world.

Lastly, the songs are great. Aladdin was the last of the Menken/Ashman trilogy before the latter’s death during production of this and their previous film Beauty and the Beast. 3 of Ashman’s songs appear in the final film (Arabian Nights, Friend Like Me, and Prince Ali) and they’re all catchy as hell. Tim Rice took over where Ashman left off and wrote 2 new songs and 2 reprises (One Jump Ahead and it’s reprise, A Whole New World, and Prince Ali reprise) which are also great, especially A Whole New World which won an Oscar for Best Song and was the only Disney song to reach #1 on the Billboard Top 100 for nearly 30 years until We Don’t Talk About Bruno from Encanto accomplished that earlier this year.

There’s so much more I want to say about this movie, but this post is getting too long. Aladdin was a childhood favorite of mine that I watched several times on VHS and later on DVD for the behind-the-scenes bonus features (this is why physical media should never be taken for granted). It’s a part of that era in the 90s when Disney dominated with great animated musicals that also included The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and The Lion King, and continue to be beloved classics to this day 30 years later.

What are some of your favorite moments, characters, and songs from Aladdin?

[cielsosinfel]

here are my thoughts on all BG3 companions up through the end of Act 1 and very beginning of Act 2:

Astarion: light of my life, I am actually spoiled for probably 95% of his story, he is such a disgusting and rancid poor little meow meow and I want to see him grievously mutilated and tortured and then gently put back together again (repeat). As a faggy bi man he is the best #representation I have seen yet from mainstream media lmao. If i speak too much about him this whole post will be about him, sorry. Guro noncon yandere kink fanfic material out the wazoo, tho (Also of course I have many many thoughts on his character's narrative around trauma and healing or the lack thereof, but, too many words)

Shadowheart: I LOOOOVE HER I love her. I kind of wish they'd kept her as initially hostile and cruel as in EA after viewing video of it, but I also enjoy how she seems low-key and almost normal, though an asshole, and then BAM suddenly she's waxing poetic about committing terrifying emotional and physical torture in the name of her beloved mommy goddess. She is such an asshole and I feel like she gets soft on the PC weirdly fast, but I also do enjoy how playing Dark Urge informs the relationship dynamic as her backstory and personality unfolds, how the fact she becomes Best Friends with them despite the whole blackout-frenzied-murder and urges to eat corpses plays into her own issues and desire for understanding and connection (the memory loss and disconnect from her previous life and sense of self, the god devotion, wanting to make herself an even worse person in the name of her god, how completely committed she is in the art of torture and causing suffering, how she's simultaneously disgusted by and intrigued by Dark Urge's whole murder cannibalism urges.) Anyway yes she's great, I love her turmoil about not living up to her potential as a Shar-loving religious zealot and expert torturer.

Wyll: Wylllllllllll I feel like he was done so dirty by the writers between Early Release and Release. They should have continued to let him be an asshole warring with living up to heroic ideals, who just made a deal with a demon out of desperation for respect and appreciation. But he's fun in release too, just too low-key for me? With Dark Urge it's interesting because he is truly the most morally Good-Aligned party-member, probably, and I think about how he must grapple his morals with aiding and growing close to a murderous gore-loving freak. He's constantly having to compromise his own deeply-held ideals in the name of getting the tadpole out of his head, and I wonder about that constantly. At the same time, he's so focused on doing good and the cause of justice but is REALLY REALLY DOWN FOR GOBLIN MASS-MURDER... Like OK Wyll!! They kept that from Early Access at least lmao. His relationship with Mizora and the angst and regret he feels at signing a contract with her, for making this one major ill-thought decision while in a high-stress "do or die" situation, gets me, the way he's like, so resigned to it... How he's so resigned to being transformed into the very thing he'd dedicated his life to culling existence of (demons.) (The constant metaphors to being a pampered pet on a leash get to me.) Though you know, it still gets me he's lamenting how ugly he looks with horns, claws and fangs, in the middle of a party full of Tiefling who just faced a lot of life-threatening discrimination for looking like demons... lmao... especially when he's venting these things to a Tiefling Durge lmao... oh wyll...... Anyway I think he's sweet, and I have even more thoughts on him and Astarion being foils who need to fuck. I want to learn more about his daddy issues so I can give him a proper daddy kink. Wow, how is this the longest part of this post.

OK THIS GOT TOO LONG AND ITS ONLY THREE CHARACTERS!!!! I am going to an indie comics and arts festival today, I will come back to do the rest of the characters later.

[ceebit]

okay let me do my new year post now bc i will most definitely be dragged out to party and then promptly pass out 😭

2022 has been a rough year for me, emotionally and physically. i went through a lot this year, academically, personally, mentally—by far one of the worst years i’ve ever pocketed. without getting into details, i hit my lowest point. and not to sound like that, but through kpop i found hope again. like a temporary crutch of sorts.

i joined kpopblr four months ago on september 19th! this blog hit its 4 month mark on the 19th this month, and while i didn’t openly celebrate that milestone on here, i took the time to sit back and really look on how my life has changed since then.

i’ve made so many good memories. and with those memories, i’ve met so many good people here. people that deserve more than the world for being friendly faces (despite not seeing y’all lmao) during my up and coming days. so i gotta shout y’all out because i wouldn’t be as comfortable in this space without u all.

@wonwooridul @seungkwan-s : the first official friends i made here. none of this would have been possible without u two !!! i love u both so so much please. 🤍🤍🤍

@hansolz : for giving me an invite to the caratblr server ): we don’t talk as much but never got to express how grateful i was (and still am) for opening that door for me. i really can’t thank u enough <3

@ the caratblr server : ik im the worst at being active in there but i’m so so happy to be there. being exposed to so many talented creators from writers to giffers and all those in between—it’s been so much fun getting to know u all (from the times i remember discord exists, at least 😭)

@minghao-s : rose my kpop lighthouse………. u are literally the reason behind everything here. i think fondly on that two hour boy group introduction a lot. thank u for taking the time to guide me through all of that. and for taking ur time with me ??? my memory is NOT the best and i do be forgetting things, but thank u for pulling and knocking sense into me ^_^ and ultimately being 1/2 mutuals who like to actively plot my k-demise…..

@wuahae : cat beloved </3 i had to mention the reason why there’s a significant sunwoo shaped crater in my skull. u are at fault for my recent lack of sleep and lack of appropriate decorum during the waking hours. (affectionate) jokes aside thank u for tbz infodumping at odd hours of the night and indulging in my relentless questions <333 hope u get ur vampire media one day 🫶🏽

and to rest my beloveds : @txtkids @caratonce/@silvmoonsky @haylo4ever/@dokyeomblr @haylo4ever @huiranghaes @naptimed @otlwoozi @theloserphenomenon @aceofvernons @woosanhui @98linerz @strawberri-uyu (and if you’re not here i’m so sorry 😭) thank you for filling my dash and literally making tumblr worthwhile each time i long on. my experience woukdnt be the same without y’all. love u all to the moon and back <3

to my readers : you are the reason i create!! the reason i find inspiration to continue to write. thank you for the endless tags and asks and reblogs and comments and everything. if i could hug all 800+ of u, i would. squeezing u all with so so so much love thru this screen. <333

and to my anons : thank you for some of the funniest moments i’ve ever seen in my life. you all r the reason the ask function was made. even if you haven’t come off anon, just know that i cherish each and every single ask you’ve sent to me—responded or not. (terribly sorry if i haven’t, tho… sometimes my brain tricks me into thinking i already have 🥲) hopefully some of you gain the courage to reveal yourselves so we can be friends :)

okay let me wrap this up before i start crying. tmrw starts a whole new year of kpop for me and all of you. here’s to more writings, creations, laughter, and good memories to come.

with love, from (hopefully) your favorite joshua-changbin-sunwoo juyeon-and-now-hongjoong enthusiast,

cece <3

[purposelynana]

What Did I Watch: #37

This week, I was a bit weird. I'm having so many emotion and doesn't know where to categorize it.

Visual media and writing are different forms of art. And should be graded differently and separately. To watch something that cannot be separated by its original source, felt like the whole point just a form of betrayal towards what it meant to be a visual media. To stand up to its own story. That's exactly why we have Long Halloween and The Dark Knight. Two different forms of art, in which good on its own despite telling the same plot point.

Luckily, I've already read the novel. That's why I don't feel so much confusion, but still it would be wonderful if all the greatness in the novel could be fleshed out in the series also.

Well, regardless of that weird ending (goddamn it P'Tee, the only thing that can fix this is season 2, which is impossible), I Feel You Linger in The Air is perhaps the best thing I've watched so far, in my 5 years of watching Thai BL, except ITSAY. The technical in this needs to be studied religiously. The choice of lenses, frames, and colors. I want them to making art book based on this. I want figurines, like the ones they did for The Untamed. I want the physical book of the English translation. I want a freaking season 2. Like come on the possibility is endless.

Goddammit, I want season 2 so bad. Anything that could provide closure. To me this closer to being left by your beloved lover without any explanation. Been there, not a great experience.

(fyi, the special episode is most likely a spin-off rather than continuation)

So yeah, SS2 is a way to go.

That fucking mustache needs to go too.

The worst part from all of these, isn't about the existence of SS2, which you know at this point it's very vague idea. It could happen, could not. Nobody have any slightest clue.

To me, the waiting part is bearable. But when the waiting was stopped, that's when I'm truly scared. Good for you if you find a show that almost immediately occupied your mind. Me? I felt like I'm in limbo. I need to get off social media, that's for sure.

[bekkachaos]

*screams about heartstopper*

like literally i dont think any one piece of media has ever made me so joyful! It just just so beautiful. Visually its so pretty, thematically it toes (tows?) the line of realistic and comforting really well (at least for me), the acting is incredible - especially considering the age of the actors, and the constant unapolagetic queerness that is so obvoiusly written by queer people is so refreshing and just .. nice to see. Nick saying 'im bi, actually' so many times was heartwarming and - as someone who is bi themself - it was so nice to see that the only time the usual bi stereotypes were presented was through nicks anxiety (and also ben). I am so scared to see where they take nick's self worth in regards to his 'similarities' to ben bc i don't want to see him sad. I had already read the comics so it was so cool to see how effective this adaptation is continuing to be. the final few scenes of episode 6 have altered me as a human being and are like a visual form of pure nostalgia and comfort. the taylor song in there is so gorgeous. and speaking of songs the entire soundtrack was perfect (like they understand the vibe and the target audience) and had me doing the leo dicaprio pointing meme constantly. I also watched both seasons several times in the last few weeks and probably will rewatch for the rest of my life tbh. I cannot wait for the next season. anyway yea

I 100% agree I just watch this show or read the comics and I am smiling uncontrollably and just feel so warm and comforted and happy it's insane!! It's so beautiful to see something that feels so genuine and it's awkward but sweet and even seeing the changes and growth of all the characters from season 1 to season 2 feels so realistic!

Nick Nelson saying "I'm bi, actually" about seven times in S2 is literally so accurate and I felt so validated by that because it's so real (also as a fellow bisexual) to have to continually justify your sexuality depending on who you're in a relationship with. The queer rep is just wonderful and can I just say that Isaac's journey this season was one of my favourites and the way I screamed when he went back into the library and claimed the ace book at the end 🤌

Anyone who hurts Nick Nelson or makes him feel sad must endure my wrath! I want to put him in my pocket and protect him from all the sad in the world he is so sweet and caring and kind to Charlie, I hate seeing him compare himself to Ben but I love the way they showed that yes the situation was similar but he was so different because he cared about how his coming out made Charlie feel too and they literally talked and communicated, it was fucking beautiful.

And the whole hickey shenanigans from Charlie noticing it (or lbh from when Buck gave it to him) was so funny and realistic and just that episode was perfection (I'm saying this like all episodes weren't 😅)

The Taylor song scene literally did things to my heart, I felt that scene physically, and you are so right the whole soundtrack is perfect! I mean, Taylor aside you have girl in red, Conan Gray, Gabrielle Aplin, wolf Alice, Holly humberstone, Miya folick like so many more I am obsessed with the soundtrack! And have you listened to the "to Nick from Charlie" playlist based on the mixed tape from vol 1? It's literally also a vibe and has Hayley kiyoko (my beloved) and Troye Sivan (I was JUST SAYING that his blue neighbourhood album is so heartstopper coded and wild is one of the tracks 😭)

My life currently consists of:

Drive to work with heartstopper playlist

Return from work and watch reels from the show / rewatch episodes

Read more comic (trying to spread it out so I get more but I am failing)

Constantly think about all of them until I fall asleep

Repeat

I'm just obsessed and it makes me so happy like I can't even explain it, I love it so much 💕🩷💕