#play to the strengths of your own medium rather than trying and failing to look like a completely different one

[juney-blues]

can we stop putting motion blur in video games forever please

it never looks good, and all it ever really accomplishes is needlessly obfuscating the game state.

like who the fuck says "oh gee this game is great, but i wish every time i moved the camera it would become 10 times fucking harder to tell what the hell is even going on"

[boycottyashahime]

Hello! Anti-Sessrin person here. You said if this couple becomes canon it will ruin Sesshomaru's character development. I would love it If you could elaborate on that because you're always so eloquent and smart. It's ok if you don't feel like it, though. Have a nice day!

I've actually been looking for an excuse to sit down and write out a cohesive post on my thoughts about this. Contrary to what the shippers want to believe, my interpretation of Sesshoumaru and Rin's relationship doesn't have anything to do with my moral objections to child grooming. I happen to think there's plenty of evidence for a filial interpretation in the text.

First, I'd like to preface my little essay here by saying I'm going off the manga alone. I haven't seen the anime in a long time, because I dropped it when I got a little tired of trying to reconcile the inconsistencies between the two mediums. So, if you read this and have an impulse to say, "hey, what about that thing in episode such-and-such...", keep in mind that I probably just don't remember what you're thinking of.

So, let's go back, alllll the way back, to Sesshoumaru's first appearance. Here's a guy who tears off a dude's head for no other reason than to get the attention of his subordinates to demand a boat. Here's a guy who's spent a long time looking just about EVERYWHERE for his father's remains, not to pay respects, but to plunder them. Here's a guy who feels ENTITLED to rob his dad's grave for treasure he deserves simply for being his father's son.

Sesshoumaru begins his journey as a selfish, spoiled, entitled brat. He doesn't fit the usual profile of a kid throwing a tantrum on the street because he wants the expensive toy sitting in the window; he's very posh and very reserved, but fundamentally, his motivation comes down to the simple fact that he wants Tessaiga. It doesn't even really have anything to do with respect and admiration of his father, otherwise he wouldn't have been so eager to rifle through dear old dad's bones to get at a sword when he had another heirloom right there at his hip. Only Tessaiga was representative of the sheer destructive force he wanted to wield, so he ignored the fact that his dad didn't seem to want him to have it.

This is important, because at first, Sesshoumaru doesn't seem to think of his father in terms of the guy's intentions or the steps he takes for the sake of his sons. Like most rich spoiled kids, Sesshoumaru views the Inu no Taishou in terms of his prestige and how that priviledge can be appropriated for selfish ends. Sesshoumaru wants Tessaiga not because he needs it, but because it's a birthright, and reinforces his legitimacy. When it's clear that Tessaiga seals Inuyasha's youkai blood, keeps him from going berserk, Sesshoumaru loses interest in Tessaiga - it's just a crutch for Inuyasha, and there's no prestige in taking it from him or using it for himself.

Sesshoumaru doesn't start to REALLY consider his father's intentions for the swords until later in the manga, when it comes out that Tenseiga was originally part of Tessaiga, and Inuyasha was meant to get the Meidou Zangetsuha attack eventually as well. It's at this point that Sesshoumaru starts to question if daddy actually HATED him, to give him a rather neat power disguised in a lame shell, but only to develop it so Inuyasha can have it instead, even after Inuyasha already got Tessaiga in the first place. It kind of looks to Sesshoumaru that Inuyasha gets all the powerful cool shit their father left behind, and that there might have been some favoritism coming down HARD on Inuyasha's side.

Above, you can see Sesshoumaru has two interlinked but distinct issues that are addressed throughout the story - his lack of compassion and empathy, and how tied his identity is to his father's favor and prestige. These two are somewhat separated in the narrative; there's a kind of pause in Sesshoumaru's development while a bulk of the middle of the story deals more with other characters and their development, but there is a little bit of a thematic connection between the two halves.

We'll start with the development of Sesshoumaru's compassion since, well, that's where the story begins working on his character. Right before Rin shows up, Toutousai let's Inuyasha's group in on the sword Sesshoumaru carries around and what it does, indicating that Tenseiga requires a compassionate heart to function. A bit ham-handed, but RT isn't very subtle most of the time, so we'll allow it. This sets up the next few scenes in which Sesshoumaru is unable to move and must play captive audience to a little girl doing the literal opposite of what he's used to. Sesshoumaru's habit is to show up and kill things, with no thought to the years of history, relationships, thoughts, emotions, etc that he's snuffing out. But while he's reclined injured in the woods, Rin demonstrates actual LIFE and the preservation of it, that part Sesshoumaru never gets to see. It's made all the starker by how BAD Rin is at caring for herself, let alone the strange monster she found in the woods. She does exactly nothing to help Sesshoumaru, despite how hard she tries, and is even injured by others in her attempts. She is the very picture of vulnerability, the opposite of the strong and capable Sesshoumaru.

This is a stark contrast, because anything less wouldn't be enough to create the necessary awareness of Rin's struggles that Sesshoumaru needs in order to use Tenseiga on here. And I know I've said this before, but I really cannot stress enough how obvious I think the symbolism is when Sesshoumaru uses Tenseiga for the first time; a phallic object gives life to a child, and the object's owner looks after that life throughout the rest of the story. He's not very good at looking after it, and it's clear that he's not sure about taking responsibility for Rin at first, because she pleaded for him to come back for her when he and Jaken left her behind to requisition a sword from Gaijinbou. To me, it's reminiscent of a teenager who knocked someone up, and ended up having to learn to give a crap about the result.

But, even if you don't accept that symbolism as particularly significant, Rin being a child, and human, and weak, unable to survive on her own, are important characteristics to how Sesshoumaru's compassion develops. Sesshoumaru is one of the strongest characters in the series, and he rarely has to worry about his own safety. And since he's in the habit of just murdering everyone he comes across if they're in his way, he's never had to worry about the safety of anyone else, either. When Rin comes into the picture, though, Sesshoumaru is faced with the uncomfortable reality of vulnerability in general. Through her earnest and incompetent attempts to foster survival in a world that can and does crush her, she's opened his eyes to how the disadvantaged, those without a powerful youkai lineage to rely on, have to struggle.

Rin herself has nothing to offer Sesshoumaru within this context of supreme vulnerability. She's not a friend, because she can't offer mutual support or use a skill to their benefit as a team. She's not a lover, because, well, she's a child and sexual/romantic attraction are conditions that wouldn't allow Sesshoumaru to extend his compassion beyond just her. As a mostly helpless kid, Rin has to rely upon Sesshoumaru and his power to survive, and Sesshoumaru employs his strength to keep her alive, getting nothing but a sweet smile out of it all. She gets all the benefits, he has all the obligations. This is PURE compassion - using one's advantages to another's benefit because you care about them, and not because you derive something from it as well.

This is why making Rin into Sesshoumaru's lover is a REALLY thoughtless take. It puts conditions on the compassion and muddies the message.

Moving onto Sesshoumaru's continued character development in the latter part of the story, the sword drama starts back up with slow, when Toutousai shows up and offers to reforge Tenseiga into a weapon. Sesshoumaru discovers that because he got angry enough to break his primary weapon in defense of Kagura's honor, he's triggered the next evolution of Tenseiga into something that can murder. Which is what he wanted at the beginning, yay! I want to point out here that Toutousai says Tenseiga noticed a change in Sesshoumaru's heart - anger for the first time for the sake of another. This implies that what Jaken said about Sesshoumaru getting tangled up in the fight against Naraku because Naraku kidnapping and using Rin to manipulate Sesshoumaru hurt Sesshoumaru's pride is actually accurate; he just really hated the thought of Naraku trying to use him, even if it was a failed attempt.

After going through HELL to develop the Meidou into a full circle (literally), Sesshoumaru then learns that the Meidou belongs to Tessaiga and Inuyasha, and that it's supposed to be handed over. Now, part of Sesshoumaru's angst over this idea, I think, is not just "did daddy love Inuyasha more?", but also the assumption that Inuyasha would have to KILL him in order to retake the Meidou Zangetsuha into Tessaiga. Thinking that your father meant for your little brother to kill you at some point to take your stuff is a pretty disturbing thought, to be entirely fair to him. This is why, when Sesshoumaru jumps into the meidou to take back control of the Naraku-possessed Tenseiga and breaks it deliberately, he spends the rest of the time in there moodily resigned to disappear. He genuinely believes that his father meant for him to die at this point, and even after they get out of there, he seems genuinely depressed.

This is Sesshoumaru's lowest point as a character. He's lost something he thought his father had meant for him, at his father's own wish, and he can't help but question why his dad would give him something just to take it away and give it to Inuyasha. It looks for all the world like favoritism, and since the Inu no Taishou is dead, there's no asking him what the hell the meaning of all this is.

This is all leading to one of the most infuriatingly ridiculous scenes I have ever seen in a manga - when Magatsuhi has crushed Sesshoumaru and everyone thinks he's been killed/absorbed, Magatsuhi is blown apart and rendered unable to reform by the shiny new sword clutched in Sesshoumaru's newly regrown arm. I could talk your ear off about how having Sesshoumaru stop being an amputee is erasure of consequences for his actions, or how being given back an arm is kind of a slap in the face for actual amputees, and where the mother f*ck did that sword come from anyway, but that's not what this essay is about, so I'll just keep all that to myself. The point of this is articulated by Toutousai when he says that Sesshoumaru had to let go of Tessaiga and his father's heirloom to stand on his own as a daiyoukai.

We've already gone over how Sesshoumaru is one of the most powerful characters in the series, who rarely has to worry about his well-being. He's just really strong without having to try. Sesshoumaru had already learned that he didn't need Tessaiga ages ago - he knew this when he learned that Inuyasha needed Tessaiga to keep from tearing himself apart eventually. But when he thought he had been passed down something from his father that was truly meant to be his, only to put all this work into it so that Inuyasha could have it, that embittered him again. It's not that he wanted the sword necessarily, but the thoughts and consideration of his father, who seemed to be putting everything he had into Inuyasha.

But his previous experiences protecting and considering someone (in some cases, multiple someones) weaker than him should have tipped him off. During the very battle in which he got his new arm and sword, he was actively helping those around him avoid Magatsuhi and keeping them close because he had a plan and the strength to carry it out. He was willing to take the extra step to protect Inuyasha and friends before trying to take care of Magatsuhi though, and that was the point. He put everyone else's needs ahead of his own, even Inuyasha's, and he did it without even thinking.

Toutousai just articulated what Sesshoumaru should have already intuitively known by that point. He never needed his father's heirlooms, the swords, his dad's power. They were unnecessary for him from the start. Inuyasha needed a leg up, because his own BODY could kill him after a while. But Sesshoumaru always had the capability of being great on his own. He just needed to finally separate his ego from who his father was and become his own person; stand on his own as a great youkai. While I don't agree with the execution, I can get behind the big lesson - don't rely on your daddy's wealth and influence to prop you up, and do the work to build a personality and identity of your own.

Which is ANOTHER reason why making Rin into a lover would be a thoughtless take. It would walk back Sesshoumaru's final lesson about being his own person apart from his father.

So, there you go. A comprehensive post regarding my take on Sesshoumaru's character development. I could add in a bit about Sesshoumaru coming to understand his father's consideration and the lengths he went to for the sake of protecting Inuyasha by having to give similar consideration to Rin, but I think this post is long enough, and that one statement on that aspect pretty much sums it up. Let me know if you would like me to elaborate on any of this, or if you would like to argue any of the points, I'm up for it. Might take me a minute to respond, mind you, but hopefully it won't take as long as it did to draft this behemoth.

Take care.

[emhowling]

e m m a   l o u i s e   v a n i t y

basics:

name: emma louise vanity. pronunciation: eh·muh loo·ease va·nuh·tee. meaning: emma- whole & universal. louise- famous warrior. birthday: august 13th. age: twenty-two. pronouns: she & her & they. sexuality: bisexual. siblings: heather, trey, & sage vanity. the pack. parents: darrell & darlene vanity. rosalyn & fenrir greyback. other family: the greyback pack. languages: english. romani. grunts. current residence: trailer in the greyback caravan. hometown: warwickshire.

wizard fun:

hogwarts house: slytherin. year of graduation: 1977. occupation: tattoo artist & piercer at markus scarr’s. pet: beta fish named nicole. blood status: muggleborn. species: werewolf. patronus: leopardess. leopards are graceful hunters. they symbolize elegance in spite of adversity and looming danger. they are great representations of warriors and hunters. it also symbolizes stealth and strength. both traits are good to have if you’re hunting or seeking something. sensuality and passion are usually attributed to them. additionally, they are considered symbols of privacy and secrets.  boggart: emma is very, very claustrophobic. she is always terrified of being locked into a small confined space or being chain up. amortentia:   blackberries. emma doesn’t necessarily love blackberries, but she does love anything that is blackberry flavored. blackberry pies, blackberry cobblers, blackberry jams, jellies, lollipops, and even blackberry wine is her favorite thing to have. they used to grow at the treeline of the playground behind the trailer where she was born. wildflowers. no matter where or what time if emma sees wildflowers growing, she’ll stop to enjoy them. they’ve always been a secret love of hers and frankly, she finds them far more beautiful than any curated flowers. they’re never the same thing twice, but they make everywhere smell infinitely better. whiskey. it isn’t even her drink of choice. if asked, emma would much rather be let loose with tequila. there is just something about the smell of high brow whiskey that reminds her of something happy. wand type: 9 1/3″, black walnut wood wand with a dragon heartstring core, stubborn and bouncy. less common than the standard walnut wand, that of black walnut seeks a master of good instincts and powerful insight. black walnut is a very handsome wood, but not the easiest to master. it has one pronounced quirk, which is that it is abnormally attuned to inner conflict, and loses power dramatically if its possessor practices any form of self-deception. if the witch or wizard is unable or unwilling to be honest with themselves or others, the wand often fails to perform adequately and must be matched with a new owner if it is to regain its former prowess. paired with a sincere, self-aware owner, however, it becomes one of the most loyal and impressive wands of all, with a particular flair in all kinds of charmwork. as a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. while they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner. the dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the dark arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental. affiliation: de affiliated, loyalty only to the greybacks.

appearance:

height: 5′. hair color: brown. eye color: brown. typical hair style: tied up into a bun on top of her hand with a scarf wrapped around it or braided in intricate patterns. fashion style: emma wears a little bit of this and a little bit of that. a lot of her clothes are acquired by just being near her and wearable. she goes through a lot of clothes given how tough she is on the fabric. there is a lot of layering, but there’s nothing emma hates more than being too hot so she had the tendency to shed them until she’d comfortable. [ fashion ] distinguishing features: emma has a lot of scars over her body, some full moon related and other not. she has a few small tattoos. her weight fluctuates somewhat wildly based on the lunar cycle, and sometimes she does look markedly pallid. notably when she smiles, she has deep set dimples.

personality:

positive traits: innovative. nimble. artistic. negative traits: combative. disorganized. tactless. theme song: hungry like the wolf by duran duran.

headcanons:

emma has been drawing for as long as she can remember. if there’s a pencil or pen or quill in sight, emma will pick it up and set to drawing something. her favorite medium is definitely charcoal since it’s the easiest to come by and use quickly.

fuck shoes. if given a choice, emma would literally go barefoot all of the time. she kicks off her shoes at any given opportunity, and especially likes to go running when she is barefooted.

emma is a small girl and perhaps an even smaller wolf. it’s easy to spot her on a full moon as she is particularly small and irritatingly fast on her feet. she’s been lovingly referred to as the runt of the litter more often than not.

biography:

Darrell and Darlene Vanity never intended to be absent parents. Truly they didn’t, but they were young, and they were poor. Four children weren’t cheap. It took a lot of extra shifts, saving, and scraping by to just afford the power and water in their little trailer at the very edge of the park where the fence didn’t quite meet ends. More often than not, they were all four left to fend for themselves. More often than not, there just wasn’t enough room in the confined little trailer. The parents slept in the large bed crammed in the small side room with the eldest two kids, but the youngest two had a kitchen table that converted down so a mattress could slide on top. Needless to say, Emma Vanity always felt a bit trapped in such mundane circumstances.

There was a big hole in the fence around the back that the kids could crawl through while no one was looking. Emma couldn’t remember the first time she snuck through that old rusted metal to the playground on the other side. If asked, she would tell you that it was the first day she learned how to toddle out the front door of the trailer. She would spend hours on the swings, the seesaw, the merry go round, and the slides. Most of the fixtures barely worked, but it was a good escape for the Vanity kids. It was where Emma made her first drawing. It was where she broke her arm for the first time. It was where she first met the Greybacks. 

Only eight years old at the time, and already far too keen to escape her surroundings. Emma skipped school more often than not, it felt like the trailer in too many ways. Small-minded and confined by the walls of a big prison where the adults yelled at you for needing to piss or drawing on your tests or running at full speed down the hall. It just wasn’t a place for someone like her, and she didn’t need to be any older to see it. There was more to her than the other snotty little kids around her. Even if no one else could see it from the trailer trash. She had been busy that day trying to repair the rusted chain of the old swing set with the little bit of that unexplained extra she possessed, which later Emma learned was the beginning of her magic slipping through, when she got caught.

From the treeline, a woman stepped forward. She was perhaps the most beautiful person that Emma had ever seen. The first thing she did was tell Emma that she was special. Well they could definitely agree on that. The woman offered her more. More than a trailer and more than a rusted playground and distant school. More than parents who forgot her and siblings who didn’t notice her. Emma took her hand and never looked back. Frankly, she never even knew if her parents put up missing posters or not. It was probably a relief to have one less mouth to feed. 

Fenrir wasted no time biting her. That first transition was the hardest thing that she had ever had to go through. The pain of shedding her skin will be seared into the very core of her memory for the rest of her life. Yet, there was never any hesitation because she was a child or even any thought that she could not keep up with the rest of the pack. It was just expected that she would, and Emma lived for that independence. The Greybacks held to every promise made to her. They were far more parents to her than the Vanity’s had ever been. They raised her.

It was harder than she wanted to admit to leave them for Hogwarts, but ‘kids go to school’. So Emma went. It was confining at first. There was too much she wasn’t allowed to do again. It wasn’t easy to keep things under wraps, Emma had never been a very good secret keeper. Her first year, she certainly spent more time in detention than she ever did in class. She would spend hours drawing the intricate architecture of the castle and her classmates in various states of distress or joy. That is when she discovered Quidditch. She was hooked. The only reason she started to do her coursework was so that her marks would be good enough to play. A proper chaser in all regards. She even managed captain in her later years. It was likely the only reason she didn’t drop out in her fifth year like her parents had. That and a handful of good friends she wasn’t quite ready to lose. Besides, apparently the accommodations for werewolves had really improved in recent years. It wasn’t unbearable to tolerate the time. 

After graduation, Emma returned to her pack. Fenrir had made a deal with the devil, and that was just fine by her. It wasn’t as if she was particularly keen on a war, but it was always fun to have something to do. It kept her close enough to her school friends too. She trusted him with her life. That included what said life entailed. If he thought it was the right call, Emma would believe him. However, there’s been a building tension about just how right that call might be. In her spare time, she picked up a relatively flexible job at the local tattoo parlor as an artist and piercer, but there is a part of her that is screaming- what’s next?

[griimreaping]

A study in Headcannons: Jean Masters edition

This is a compendium of all the headcannons I could find that I’ve posted on my blog and a few that I hadn’t managed to write out yet. Gives some finer details on Jean and overall adds to her story.

There is a small weathered brown leather sketchbook in the front left breast pocket of her work jacket that has a hand-carved wooden pencil bound to the side. Inside the yellowing pages, you can find increasingly detailed sketches of the targets that she’s been given to kill. This book started when she had turned 18 and the first entry is of a stoic and serious-looking man, this would be her father. It’s not particularly well-drawn, though there’s one part of his face that she’s seemed to have spent the most time getting correct and it’s the piercing stare the man wears. A few of the drawings have color put in key places like lips, eyes, or facial tattoos though most are in regular pencil. Maxamillion’s sketch has a small note scratched onto the back that isn’t in Jean’s handwriting and it reads “Studying your target gets you one step closer to killing them.”

   Jean had quite a few tattoos and one iron brand that had gotten taken off when she lost her arm. These tattoos are the major identifying features of her along with a nasty healed bullet wound scar just below her navel.

   Jean was actually entirely homeschooled by her father, and while she’s not a superstar at math she’s pretty intelligent in the street smarts sort of way. Max thought that practical skills were much more important than anything they were dishing out in school so he made a point to teach both his children the arts of protecting yourself, smooth talking, and hitting a target from a click away the basic stuff. So sure, she’s a smart gal but calculus is a mystery.

   While her occupation and previous trauma have steeled her emotionally Jean is actually a soft person underneath all the walls and locks. Some part of her aches for a person to just hold her and tell her things will be okay. She internalizes a lot of emotions and guilt from her past and when it’s dark and quiet those thoughts and monsters crawl up out of the woodwork.

   Night terrors and insomnia are common plagues of the woman keeping her from getting sleep a majority of the time. The few times that she’s had restful sleep is when she’s in the arms of someone else.  And I’m not talking like a one night stand or anything like that, I mean that she trusts this person enough to just melt into their arms and fall asleep. Her work takes a lot out of her and she’s just tired.

Jean has two boats. One is currently dry docked in Morrocco while the other is a 67-meter superyacht by the name of the Sea Widow which is the base for most of Trinity’s mobile operations.

Jean is technically a multi-millionaire. With about 250 million in offshore accounts and floating among various proxy accounts so dirty money can’t be traced. For the most part, she lives rather lavishly.

Jean has been married twice. First one lasting for a few years before the toll of her lifestyle took too much out of the man and he divorced her and left the country. Jean abides by his wishes and does not keep tabs on him.

Her second husband had been a double agent and had her kidnapped and tortured for two weeks which ultimately ended in her losing her arm and her killing him after she’d escaped.

Jean has spinal compression from various hard falls and the connective tissue in her knees is pretty beat up. There are occasional phantom pains from her missing arm and the tissue around where the metal connects to her body gets irritated when not taken care of properly. Partial hearing loss in her left ear from an explosion. There are patches on her body where she has little feeling due to previous injuries, this is most prevalent on her back and left side.

For a minute she had a dependency on painkillers, though after some tough self-discipline Jean got herself away from them and now prefers not to take them if at all possible. She’s tried to stop smoking on several occasions but found that it just made her temper terrible and her hands shake with the withdrawals so she’s gotten down to half a pack a day.

If you were to look around Jean’s home you would notice that there’s a lot of spackled over patches here and there. This is because she forgets the strength of her metal arm from time to time and has put holes in the walls. One of the largest holes that had happened was when she had been trying to hang a painting and she put the entire hammer through the wall.

Weapon of choice is a Remington CSR, collapsible and powerful it’s great for both long and medium range. While the short range stuff is kept to super 625 .45 revolver ( just in case her target decided to hide behind a tank ) or a trusty KBAR knife that’s been lovingly sharpened and oiled.

Multilingual Jean can speak four languages fluently and a handful of others to a conversational level. English, Spanish, Russian, and Arabic are her main languages simply for business sake with those being the biggest contenders.

In the Monster Hunter verse, Jean is unable to fully die. She will sustain harsh enough injuries and enter a state of in between. Due to a pact that she’d made with the grim reaper in her younger years, though when her time finally comes and she fulfills her mission Jean is given just enough time to spend a few moments with her family then simply fade from existence.

Jean can play two instruments, guitar, and piano. She was taught how to play the guitar by her brother Stephan when she was younger, it kept her mind from other things and gave Stephan and her something to do together to avoid their father. The piano she had taught herself after she’d lost her arm in an attempt to gain finer finger dexterity back after the accident. The piano helped her combat the phantom pains that she experienced frequently in the beginning and it also allowed her to become used to the new appendage.

Not a day goes by that Jean doesn’t think about her brother. Stephan had been her support and guardian from her father’s rage and beatings for most of her childhood after their mother died. When he ran away after he turned 18 leaving the then 14 year old Jean alone with the husk of a man that was their father Jean never quite forgave him. It’s this acidic hole in her chest that burns her up inside. There are so many questions that she wants to ask him most of them starting with why. Why did he leave her without saying anything? Why didn’t he take her with him? Where did he go? Where did you go? Jean runs this old film reel over and over in her head at night

Jean wanted kids. She really wanted to be a better person for them and grasped for that white picket fence life for so long that when she had gotten shot in the stomach and had her internals so badly damaged that it ripped that away from her, the woman didn’t really ever recover. There are times where the assassin absently traces that scar on her stomach thinking about everything that could have been.

Dreams are less of night terrors and more like glimpses into a different life. Sometimes it’s hazy memories of picnics with the whole family when her mother was still alive. Sometimes its visions of taking her kids to go see uncle Stephan who lives somewhere in the mountains. Though waking up is always the same, leaving this harsh ache in her entire body when she realizes that all of those dreams are just dreams.

There had been moments when Jean wished she failed in killing her father. Knowing that the consequences would have been her own demise she silently wonders what would have happened. If there was such thing as an afterlife could she have watched the man that had once been a rock for their family fall apart under the knowledge that he’d killed his only daughter and drove his son out of the home? Jean has always wondered.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Kayn the Shadow Reaper build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Hey remember when I said I wouldn’t just make League of Legends builds? Well getting back into LoL I rediscovered my love for Kayn the Shadow Reaper. Kayn’s an edgy little anime boy who doesn’t wear a shirt and he has daddy issues as well as a scythe daddy who sasses him and only slightly wants to take over his body to destroy all of humanity.

I should mention that this build is built much more for blue Kayn (the Shadow Assassin) than Raast. I might make a Raast build at some point but for now my focus is much more on replicating Kayn’s mobility and high damage output than Raast’s sustained damage. Blue Kayn is much more similar to regular Kayn than Raast as well. Just be sure to focus down ranged opponents with this build, and if you kill too many melee enemies ask your DM if you can change your race to a Tiefling.

GOALS

I am the weapon, you are a tool - Fun fact; Raast is sentient, and that’s rather necessary for this build. I think most people know where this is going but there’s a nice bonus utility in the subclass we’ll be picking.

Stealthy ganks from the dark - With a dash, a long-ranged lunge, and the ability to walk through walls you’ll be able to keep up with your enemies with ease. Believe it or not getting a spell to walk through walls in 5e is rather difficult, but still quite possible.

Kill the body - As a Shadow Assassin you’re meant to quickly burst down anyone you run into, so high damage output will be key.

RACE

Kayn was always a very skilled individual but he’s still only human. Luckily Variant Humans can still hold their own in a fight. Bump your Charisma and Wisdom with your two free points and take the Acrobatics skill as you are naturally nimble on your feet. For your Feat take Mobile to further increase your mobility and dodge enemy auto-attacks. And for Language... honestly it doesn’t matter just pick whatever language you think will be useful. Spoiler alert: this build is going to end up getting a lot of languages.

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - You’re a pretty anime boy who learnt how to be a scary shadow man from the scariest shadow man around. Also I think anyone who knows a thing or two about 5e knows the real reason for this high Charisma score.

14; DEXTERITY - You are naturally dexterous and while in a real world I’d love for this to be a 20 unfortunately there’s no finesse Scythe weapon in 5e so we’ll have to have that high Charisma score instead. Even so DEX leads to AC and 2 is more than enough for the armor we’ll be wearing. (NOTE: If you’re rolling for stats your Dexterity doesn’t need to be higher than a 14.)

13; WISDOM - Wisdom is tied to a variety of vision skills which you’ll need to be an assassin. Knowing to read your opponent’s moves is key in Zed’s Shadow Order, and being able to bandage yourself never hurt anyone. It’s also a requirement to multiclass so...

12; CONSTITUTION - Your recommended build includes Black Cleaver which provides a nice boost to your health. That, and you don’t want to be squishy as a melee fighter.

10; STRENGTH - Strength isn’t that necessary for this build as Raast does all the heavy lifting, but dumping it isn’t as in-character as dumping...

8; INTELLIGENCE - Noxus isn’t known for its education system, and you were put into the army when you were just a child which certainly didn’t help you learn math.

BACKGROUND

For your background choose the Faction Agent from the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide. You are a member of the Shadow Order and while that isn’t a faction on the Sword Coast it most certainly is a faction. You gain Insight proficiency as well as an Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma ability of your choice - choose Intimidation as shadow assassins tend to be a pretty spooky lot. You also get the Safe Haven feature which lets you communicate with members of Zed’s order to gain access to a hidden safe house, free room and board, or assistance in finding information. If they ask why they should help tell them you’re Zed’s protege. Or just kill them for their defiance - that would be in character too.

(Artwork by AquaLeonhart on DeviantArt)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - RANGER 1

SURPRISE! This isn’t a pure Hexblade build! Quite surprisingly this build doesn’t even go that deep into Hexblade! Anyways we’re starting with Ranger over Hexblade because the skills and saving throws that a Ranger gets are far more useful to us. With that in mind take proficencies in Athletics, Stealth, and Survival to survive the jungle, gank your opponents, and survive a 1v1.

You also get Favored Enemy and the most in-flavor enemy to choose would be Fiends (as that’s what Raast would be classified as) but feel free to metagame a bit and ask your DM what types of enemies you’ll be facing - one of the key features of Kayn is the ability to adapt your play-style to whatever the enemy team picked. Enemy team got a Teemo? Take Halflings as a preferred enemy and chop down that little pest. You also get a language that’s supposed to be tied to your favored enemy, and for the sake of roleplay I’d suggest taking Infernal. Raast is an old Darkin and chances are he won’t be nice enough to talk to you in Common.

You also get Natural Explorer and again there’s no option here that’s too necessary for roleplay so I’d suggest asking your DM on what setting will be the most useful. Technically Forest is the closest similarity to the jungle but the key to playing Ranger is knowing ahead of time where the campaign will take place.

On Revised Ranger / Class Feature Variants Ranger: This build doesn’t require too much from your favored enemy and terrain but it’s well-known that the Revised Ranger UA and Class Feature Variants UA help Ranger out a lot. This build uses one of the subclasses from Xanathar’s Guide to Everything which work perfectly fine without the UA features. Even so the UA features help a lot so if your DM allows them absolutely take the opportunity to use them. Favored Enemy from the Revised Ranger PDF provides a big boost to your utility, and Deft Explorer is far more useful to you than Natural Explorer. If you plan on taking the Canny feature the skills I suggest to boost are Athletics, Medicine, Stealth, or Survival. Favored Foe from the class feature variants UA is fine but I’d honestly prefer the Revised Ranger’s favored enemy instead.

LEVEL 2 - WARLOCK 1

And now we get the key portion of this build. We’re going into Warlock and I think most people have identified what we’ve came for: Hexblade! The Hexblade patron lets you find a living scythe in the underbelly of Noxus which will give you immense power with the slight caveat that it may try to take over your body in order to destroy the world. Regardless you gain Hex Warrior which lets you attack using your Charisma modifier instead of Strength or Dexterity, which is good because a scythe usually requires a lot of upper body strength but now we can just use our dashing good looks instead. I should mention now that probably the closest you’ll get to a scythe in 5e is a War Pick, but the War Pick can’t be wielded in two-hands and Kayn doesn’t use a shield so ask your DM if you can reflavor a Battleaxe as a scythe, since you can use it in two hands thanks to the versatile property. (Don’t worry though; we’ll get a more scythe-like weapon soon.)

You also gain Hexblade’s Curse which lets you cast Chilling Smite (the summoner spell; not the Paladin ability) on an opponent to do extra damage to them and heal when they die. You can only target one creature with this and gain it back on a short or long rest so save it for the enemy ADC to pop them quick or place it on a tank to shred through them like Raast asked you too.

You also gain access to Pact Magic - You get 2 cantrips of your choice and you may notice that we’re not taking the weapon attack boosting cantrips: there’s a very specific reason for this. Anyways this is probably going to be one of the few times that I honestly suggest Sword Burst as a viable spell as it lets you spin around with Reaping Slash to deal damage to any enemy beside you that fails a DEX save. And none of these spells are really in-character for an AD champion so screw it you may as well take Eldritch Blast in case you need a ranged attack.

For your spells Armor of Agathys lets you shield yourself in cold shadows which provide a bit of extra temporary hitpoints and also cause your enemies to take damage if they hit you. Wrathful Smite from the Hexblade list lets you use Blade's Reach from inside a wall to do extra psychic damage to an enemy and they have to make a Wisdom saving throw or else become Frightened of the fact that you’re ganking them - should’ve warded bro!

LEVEL 3 - WARLOCK 2

With 2 levels in Warlock you gain access to Eldritch Invocations and while there is literally an invocation called “Armor of Shadows” we won’t be taking it. I haven’t mentioned it yet but while Kayn doesn’t wear a shirt in League you can’t have a 20 in DEX like he does unless you get really lucky with your dice rolls, so feel free to wear some Medium armor since in 5e armor doesn’t affect your movement speed. I recommend getting your hands on a Breastplate as early as possible as it will give you good AC while still allowing you to be stealthy by not imposing disadvantage on stealth rolls. (Which you can remedy with a Feat but Medium Armor Master is bad.)

Anyways we’re going to start with Devil’s Sight for those who can not see in the dark, which as a human you currently are. For now you can leave your other invocation empty since we need Warlock 3 to get the next invocation we want. Likewise we’re also going to wait until next level to choose our spell.

LEVEL 4 - WARLOCK 3

And now we gain access to our Pact Boon, and to the surprise to no one we’ll be picking Pact of the Blade which is the pact of choice for any melee Warlock. Pact of the Blade lets you summon any melee weapon into your hands to use as you wish. What’s more is that as a Hexblade this also works with your Hex Warrior feature so you can now use a Heavy weapon with your Charisma. Again while there’s no scythe weapon in 5e a glaive is like a scythe with a smaller blade. It does a d10 slashing damage and has the reach property which will allow you to attack at a 10 foot range, keeping you safe from opportunity attacks. Does this make Mobile’s ability to negate opportunity attacks largely redundant? Yes!

You can also now take the Improved Pact Weapon invocation which lets you wield a two-handed weapon and still cast your Warlock spells. The weapon also gains +1 to attack and damage rolls, and you can also summon a shortbow, longbow, light crossbow, or heavy crossbow as your pact weapon instead of just a melee weapon. While Raast might get bitter that you borrowed Varus’ bow don’t feel limited in your weapon choice.

You also gain access to second level spells and we’ll grab both Blur and Branding Smite from the Hexblade list. Blur lets you up your jukes to give creatures disadvantage when they attack you unless they’re scripting and have blindsense, and Branding Smite lets you do Radiant damage to the target and make sure that they don’t use stealth to get away. You’re sort of midway decent against Evelynn but this will help you get the upper hand on her.

LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 4

4th level Warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement - bump your Charisma for better attack rolls and damage rolls.

You also gain access to another spell and Hold Person will let Raast knock up a target so you and your allies can hit them. (Note: Hold Person will not strike an enemy up into the air it’ll just paralyze them, which is still very useful!)

In addition you get another cantrip and like I said before none of these are really in-flavor for an AD champion so just grab Prestigitation or Minor Illusion to do some funky Shadow Order trickery.

Also I might suggest replacing your Smite spells with other spells that don’t take your Bonus Action soon? This is just an advanced step if your DM is really stingy on the rules - there aren’t many spells that I’d want at this level but you’re still welcome to pick and choose instead of having Wrahtful Smite and Branding Smite.

LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 5

5th level Warlocks gain access to another Invocation which will be Sign of Ill Omen, which lets you Bestow (a) Curse of a floating scythe above your opponent’s head which will allow you to do an extra d8 Necrotic damage per hit, give them disadvantage on an ability check of your choosing, disadvantage on attacks against you (because you’re inside of them technically), and the target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or else be unable to do anything. This is the closest we’ll get to mechanically when it comes to replicating Umbral Trespass but in essence you can treat this like a more beefy Hexblade’s Curse which requires concentration and only comes back after a Long Rest.

You also gain access to third level spells which means that finally we can put a level into Shadow Step. Blink lets you roll a d20 and on an 11 or higher you go to the Ethereal Plane where yes: you can walk through walls. At the start of each of your turns you reappear in the open and have to roll another d20 to disappear again. This spell is somewhat unreliable but it is a way to walk through walls as well as avoid damage and get the jump on your enemies.

Also if you took my advice from the last level I’d probably suggest replacing one of your Smites will a spell like Gaseous Form or something? GF lets you travel through walls as long as there are cracks in them and while it doesn’t increase your speed it is more reliable than Blink for getting around. If your DM is nice I’d also suggest taking another third level spell - not quite sure which one but there are a lot of great options at this level.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 2

Now that we got Shadow Step it’s time to get access to our passive. But firstly level 2 Rangers get to pick a Fighting Style - unfortunately Great Weapon Fighting isn’t an option so your best bet will be the Defense style for +1 to your AC. (Yeah we’re still wearing armor.)

You also gain access to Spellcasting and... bleh giving spells to an AD character is always weird. I’d recommend Hunter’s Mark to get value out of your passive and Ensnaring Strike to cast Chilling Smite (again: the LoL summoner spell) on a fleeing opponent.

On Class Feature Variants Ranger: Hunter’s Mark is built into Favored Foe if you use it instead of Favored Enemy, which is why I suggest using the Revised Ranger Favored Enemy if your DM will allow a mix-and-match between the two UAs.

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 3

Now here’s the real shocker of the build: your Ranger subclass. Take the Horizon Walker for some unique shadow dimension shenanigans! At early levels you get access to Detect Portal which isn’t really in flavor for Kayn but to be honest chances are you won’t use this ability much. You will however gain access to Planar Warrior which lets you add a d8 of force damage to a single weapon attack as a bonus action. Force really isn’t resisted much and a d8 of it every turn can greatly increase your damage output. You also gain access to some class-specific spells and Protection from Evil and Good lets you share some of your anime determination powers to stop Darkin (as well as aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, and undead) from hurting your allies as easily.

You also gain access to Primeval Awareness which is... it is... it certainly is! Truthfully while I’ve been avoiding talking about the Class Feature Variants UA I think Primal Awareness’ spell list is far more useful and in-character for this build. Speaking of spells you get another spell known: take Longstrider to use Shadow Step’s movement speed to close in on your foes. Along with Mobile you’ll be walking at 50 movement speed, which is practically dashing speed!

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement: bump your Charisma for maximum damage and accuracy with your weapon as well as maximum anime speeches about how you’ll become galactic emperor of the universe.

LEVEL 10 - RANGER 5

5th level Rangers get an Extra Attack, allowing you to increase your damage output and burst your enemy down more quickly.

You also gain access to second level spells such as Silence which lets you stop any pesky caster from bursting you down... wait you’re caster now too shit. Make sure to stop concentrating on Silence before trying to use Blink to Shadow Step.

And speaking of second level spells you also get access to Flash-I mean Misty Step to quickly teleport out of danger if needed, but honestly with Mobile you can avoid most sources of damage by disabling the enemy’s ability to opportunity attack. Especially considering that you’re using a huge “scythe” with reach getting hit by opportunity attacks really shouldn’t be an issue.

LEVEL 11 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers get Favored Enemy and Natural Explorer improvements and you know what that means? More languages! :D Again feel free to metagame and ask your DM what to pick since none of these are too in-character. ...Or just use UA?

LEVEL 12 - RANGER 7

7th level Horizon Walkers gain access to Ethereal Step and let’s be honest this was the main reason to pick Horizon Walker. This will let you cast the Etherealness spell which is a far more reliable Shadow Step than Blink will ever be. You can move in any direction though moving up or down will cost double movement. The spell only lasts for 1 turn but with 40 movement speed from Mobile you should be able to get wherever you’re going. This ability comes back after a short rest: Shadow Step has a long cool-down so don’t waste it!

You also get another second level spell and ehhhhhh? None of these are overly impressive or in character so I dunno... Find Traps? I just want to remind everyone that you don’t have to follow this build word-for-word, and even if you’re an anime edgelord some extra healing never hurt anyone. 

LEVEL 13 - RANGER 8

Level 8 Rangers get another Ability Score improvement but with a maxed out Charisma modifier you can prove worthy of some Feats.

Alert - A Shadow Assassin doesn’t get surprised, and this feat will guarantee that you always go first.

Charger - Charger lets you capitalize on your massive mobility and chase someone before managing to strike them with Raast. If you manage to pair it with Blink you can Shadow Step through walls before coming behind the enemy ADC.

Prodigy - Kayn in lore is a Prodigy, and this can help you cover up some of the skills your party might not have. Also more languages! If you’re looking for the most in-character skills to have Expertise in go for Acrobatics, Athletics, Intimidation, or Stealth.

Savage Attacker - Channel your inner Raast to get more damage out.

Lucky - Luck is a tool, just like any other.

You also get access to Land’s Stride which lets you move through non-magical difficult terrain without spending extra movement, further decreasing the usefulness of Mobile. You can also Shadowstep through plants that would otherwise harm you, and have advantage on saving throws against magical plants that might impeed your movement. Build the body.

LEVEL 14 - RANGER 9

9th level Rangers get access to 3rd level spells: take whatever you think is good honestly because you’re going to use all your 3rd level slots on Haste from the Horizon Walker list anyways. Go on; shoot faster! Wait woups sorry wrong Champion.

LEVEL 15 - RANGER 10

10th level Rangers get another terrain for Natural Explorer. Again discuss with your DM on what to take, or use the UA rules.

You also get Hide in Plain Sight which lets you prepare for an ambush at the Noxtoraa. You can spend 1 minute to hide in the shadows for a +10 bonus to stealth as long as you remain still... or you could just take the Pass Without a Trace spell?

LEVEL 16 - RANGER 11

11th level Horizon Walkers get access to Distant Strike. When you make an attack you can bounce between shadows to teleport 10 feet before you attack. In addition if you attack two different creatures you can attack a third with an extra attack.

The damage of Planar Warrior increases to 2d8 at this level for more damage with The Darkin Scythe, and you get another spell so take what you want: probably a 1st level spell since you’ll be spending all your 2nd level spells on Misty Step and 3rd level spells on Haste.

(Artwork by McDobo on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 17 - RANGER 12

12th level Rangers get another Ability Score improvement. Refer to level 8 Ranger for Feat options.

LEVEL 18 - RANGER 13

13th level Rangers get access to 4th level spells: Locate Creature will allow you to find your mark no matter where they might go.

You also get Banishment from the Horizon Walker list which is really useful if any of Raast’s friends come for a visit.  "Rhaast..? Why are you trembling?" "It's nothing Kayn. Nothing at all."

LEVEL 19 - RANGER 14

14th level Rangers get another Favored Enemy! Aaah! How many times do I have to say it: ask your DM on what you’ll be facing in the campaign, even though by this point it really doesn’t matter.

You also get the Vanish trait which allows you to Hide as a bonus action to use that stealth score of yours, and makes it impossible to track you unless your enemies are using magic or you’re leading them into an ambush.

LEVEL 20 - RANGER 15

Our capstone is the 15th level of Horizon Walker which gives you access to the Spectral Defense feature. When you take damage you can use your reaction to gain Resistance to it, halving the damage. Remember that you only have one Reaction but this is still a very useful ability to have in case you bite off more than you can chew as you’re known to do.

You also get another spell and again: pick your poison by this point it really doesn’t matter.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

'Cause either way we're dead, oh - With up to 3 attacks every turn, Planar Warrior damage, Hexblade’s Curse, Hunter’s Mark, Haste, and Bestow Curse you can output some extreme damage at close range. You even have Eldritch Blast and the ability to turn Raast into a bow for ranged combat.

Free the body - You have an immense amount of mobility tools between Mobile’s movement increase, Misty Step, Blink, Haste, Ethereal Step, and even Longstrider. I believe we accomplished the goal of walking through walls and then some.

A craftsman never blames his tools - You have a surprising amount of utility under your belt with a lot of proficiencies, an ungodly amount known languages, and a lot of Ranger spells and skills giving you tools to start a fight.

CONS

Death finds fools quickly. - Despite being a melee fighter you aren’t very bulky, with a relatively low AC and a lower Constitution you’re just a few hits away from being in Power Word Kill range. Feel free to invest in some Ruby Crystals, or more particularly an Amulet of Health.

Talk, talk, talk. All you ever do is talk! - You’ve got an immense amount of Concentration spells and not a lot of Constitution to concentrate with. With a mere +1 to CON saves and no Warcaster or other such feat you’ll end up losing Concentration often. Hm maybe that’s why Kayn drops Shadowstep if he gets hit?

Shadows touch all - Excluding Charisma you have almost no investment in your stats, and while your class makes up for your low Strength and Dexterity saves you can easily be hit by any Intelligence or Wisdom saving throw.

But that only matters if you get hit: keep to the shadows, strike your enemies when they least expect it and then meld back into the darkness for your next kill. And be sure to focus the ranged enemies unless you want to swap characters mid-campaign.

(Artwork by amatey on DeviantArt)

On Raast

As I said previously this build is built much more around Shadow Assassin Kayn than Raast. I may make a Raast build at some point but it would require a far different level progression, including the fact that you’d be playing a Tiefling instead of a Human. Chances are if I ever make an Aatrox build that would be a far better analogy to Raast.

If you’re planning on potentially turning into Raast at some point discuss it with your DM. You’d essentially be changing characters completely at that point.

[theresnoturningback]

Gone Fishin’ [PART THREE]

A/N: I am so lucky to be able to do this, I am enjoying every minute of it. Thanks for making it possible. I am a blessed woman. My heart is full. I don’t know what else to say. I love that you love this little fanfiction work, even though is almost all fluff. Almost. Ugh, and no matter how I want to write it, Aasim will always find a way to be in whatever it is that I write. I hope enjoy part III. Comments and reblogs are always greatly appreciated Word Count: 5798

‘Hey Brody, wait up’

The girl turned around to see Louis running and waving at her

‘You can’t take it back, Lou. You promised you’d help me’ She protested, used to this kind of behavior on his behalf.

‘I won’t, I’ll be there...it’s just that…’ Brody raised an eyebrow and folded her arms, intrigued.

‘Would it be OK if I informed Clem about these last minute changes instead?’

‘I have no problem with you doing that. In fact, you’d be doing me a big favor’ She smiled.

‘Well, that’s what I’m here for; being helpful...You should go have some rest, get better soon, bye!’ He turned on his heels and ran back to the courtyard to look for Clementine, but she wasn’t there. There was a high chance she was still asleep.

As he walked, he wondered why he was so happy, if the girl he liked clearly didn’t like him back. A myriad of questions invaded his head

Why didn’t she show up yesterday? Why did she looked so hurt and conflicted last night at dinner?

She definitely didn’t like him the same way and judging by her behavior during dinner, she was looking for a way to reject him. At least that was his conclusion.

He shook his head as he quickened his steps. Whatever the scenario was, he needed to know.

He arrived at Clem and AJ’s room and announced himself, so the little boy wouldn’t get startled.

‘Hey, what’s happening in here?’ He exclaimed in his usual energetic tone.

Clementine and AJ both turned around to see him standing next to the boy and putting his hands on his hips

‘Hi Louis! Clem said I have to practice my reading’ AJ said with an annoyed smirk

‘Without having breakfast first?’ His eyes widened and turned to the girl ‘Are you crazy?’

‘It’s just a couple of sentences’ She defended herself, unamused

‘Come on, little dude, go eat something. I hereby release thee of this punishment’ Louis exaggerated his movements as he picked up the textbook he was reading, closed it and tossed it over the bed.

AJ chuckled, but still looked at Clementine for approval. She rolled her eyes and smiled at him.

‘Go…’ She conceded.

‘Thank you, see ya, Louis!’ AJ high-fived him.

‘See ya later, bud’

‘Be sure to thank Aasim for your new book’ Clementine yelled at the open door, hoping AJ heard.

Once alone, the atmosphere changed abruptly.

‘Well, look at you being a concerned mother’ He joked, resting his body weight on the back of the chair.

‘Say what you want, but he’s getting better’ Clementine stood up and started putting the books, pencils and papers away. Louis followed her with his eyes.

‘Well, I’m not surprised. He has a great teacher’ He commented in a mellow tone.

She pretended she didn’t notice his flirtatious mood, but she still couldn’t do anything about the reddening on her cheeks.

‘So’ She said sticking AJ’s latest doodles on the wall ‘What brings you here today?’

‘I have big news’ He straddled the chair so he could face her ‘We are going fishing today’

Clementine looked at him, confused.

‘We as in…?’

‘As in...you and me’ He confirmed with a big grin.

She grew silent, worried about Brody while Louis’ smile faded slowly at the thought that maybe he had been too eager in his announcement.

‘What happened to Brody, is she okay?’

‘Well, that’s the thing’ He shrugged ‘She says she is in a lot of pain and that she can’t eat, so she doesn’t have the physical strength to fish. That’s why she asked me to step up’

‘I understand’ She nodded. She noticed his chill attitude had dropped for some reason and decided to lighten up the mood ‘Is that why you came here all happy?’

‘I just like to fish, is all’ He shrugged nonchalantly. She knew he was lying, and laughed under her breath.

‘I’ll see you at the gates in 10 minutes, then’ Louis stood up and made his way out ‘Bring your knife, hopefully we’ll get to kill some walkers’.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Just as agreed, Clementine found Louis waiting for her, resting the big chair leg he used as a weapon on his shoulders.

‘Ready to go?’ She showed him her knife in response.

‘Ready’

‘Let’s go then…’

Most of the walk towards the cabin was silent.

The both of them wanted to start a conversation, but none of them knew how to do that without bringing up the events of the past two days.

‘I used to fish a lot with my family’ Louis finally mumbled, walking a couple of steps behind her, covering her back ‘‘before the world went to shit...and spearfishing is different to what I used to do, so don’t laugh too hard when I fail the first ten times’

‘I will try not to…’ She responded after snickering, but didn’t add anything to the conversation. Her thoughts  were loud enough to keep her silent the rest of the way.

The curiosity was eating him up inside. He had to know exactly how she felt about him.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never maintain a cool act for too long when he was alone with her.

‘So um...did you, by any chance, get anything that might have resembled a letter?’ He stuttered nervously.

Clementine understood immediately where his question was leading up to, but she didn’t know if she had it in her to know what his thoughts were about her written reply right then.

‘Yeah, I did’ she muttered more to herself than to him, looking at her feet as she walked steadily

‘Well, now you know Lou…’ He thought to himself, lips pressed tight in disappointment.

He was coming to terms with the fact that Clementine didn’t like him at all, at least not as he would like, when they arrived to the cabin.

Clementine took out a couple of spears and nodded at his friend to get a medium size bucket that was on the floor near him.

As she gave him one of the spears, she enquired timidly

‘Did you...read something that could have resembled a response to your letter? Maybe this morning...while playing the piano?’

His eyes darted around while he tilted his head to the side in confusion.

‘Louis…you...didn’t...?’

He looked at her, opened his mouth but words wouldn’t come out. He was honestly too shocked to realize she had taken the time to write a response.

‘Louis! I left you a letter on the piano last night!’ She confessed, raising her voice in frustration.

‘Im sorry! I didn’t have the chance to even look at the piano today! Marlon and Brody dragged me to Marlon’s office early and I….Oh’ His jaw dropped ‘Your letter is still there, isn’t it?’

‘Shit, Louis...I swear to God...’ She groaned, shaking her head in embarrassment and getting her spear.

‘Please don’t point that thing at me’ He yelped with genuine fear as she walked past him.

The next thirty minutes were slow and dreadfully silent. Both Clementine and Louis were too immersed in their own minds to talk to each other. They managed to catch a couple of fish each while thinking about what had just happened.

After a while, the river looked empty. All the fish had stopped swimming to their deaths and the two teenagers decided to wait for them to come back, getting away from the unrelenting sun and its heat. They sat under a tree and next to each other.

‘So…’ Louis finally broke the silence ‘What did your letter say?’

Clementine hugged her knees and shrugged, embarrassed

‘I wrote it so fast that I don’t remember anymore…’

‘It must have been a terrible letter’ They both shared a laugh.

‘It was, actually’ She glanced at him for a second ‘That’s why I’m burning the hell out of it as soon as we get back’

‘Not if I win that race and read it first’ He nudged her with a playful smile.

‘Bring it on’ She returned the gesture in a more reserved way.

The continuous murmuring of the stream filled their silences, make them at least bearable this time.

‘About your letter…’ Clementine smiled to herself, recalling that night she read his words for the first time ‘I can’t believe you’re actually glad I crashed my car’

Louis just looked at her, brows drawing together. He wanted to say how sorry he was for phrasing his feelings so badly, but he then saw in her eyes she wasn’t serious

‘Tell you what, I’ll let you burn what you wrote if you give me back that hideous paper’

‘Never!’ She chuckled ‘I’m holding it for future blackmail’

Clementine would cherish Louis’ words as long as she lived.

‘Then it’s only fair that at least I get a chance to read what you wrote me’ He insisted.

‘Fine..’ She surrendered to his bright eyes narrowing with glee.

They didn’t look away from each other for some seconds. It didn’t feel wrong just to silently admire each other, so there wasn’t really a reason to look away.

Louis looked away and sighed heavily. With the last bit of hope he had, he spoke again

‘What I really meant to say is…’ He fidgeted, trying to find courage to be completely honest with her and himself ‘I’m glad I met you...and I’m glad that you and AJ got to stay with us. Everything looks so different with you around’

Clementine felt her cheeks go warm, not allowing her to respond.

Seeing he’d get no other answer than her long silence, he stood up and resumed his task.

The girl was furious at herself. Why couldn’t she just tell her she liked him more than he could imagine? It was simple, in theory, but the more she thought about it, the less prepared she felt to open her mouth and say the words he so desperately wanted to hear.

She stood up, picked up her spear and fished in a separate section.

Not many fish came back their way, but she needed to be alone with her thoughts for a moment.

She looked at him from a distance. He had just pierced through a rather big fish in one swift move. She walked closer to his side as he put the dead animal inside the bucket. Both looked at the stream, prepared to catch the next one.

‘I wanted to apologize to you for not joining you’ She spoke softly, concentrated of the quick movement of the water.

A fish escaped Louis’ strike, making him frown and sigh. He couldn’t be angry at her for what she felt. It wasn’t fair.

‘Marlon told me that Brody told him that AJ told her that you were sick, or something’ He shook his head, worriedly ‘She shouldn’t have sent you here if you’re not feeling well, just as she is not here right now’

‘I’m OK, Louis’ Clementine walked away from the rocks while talking ‘That was a lie that AJ told Brody to cover me...I overslept’

‘You teach your kid to lie for you?’ He scoffed, faking disgust ‘The nerve…’

‘Hey!’ Clementine raised her voice and stomped back at him ‘You have no idea what I’ve gone through to keep him alive!’

‘I’m joking Clem, of course I’m joking’ He walked back, almost falling in the river ‘I wouldn’t even think that of you’ She crossed her arms, maintaining her defensive stance ‘I actually believe he’s got the best person to raise him right’

She gave up. There was no use to get mad at him about it. She knew he didn’t mean any harm. She turned around, put her spear down and sighed tiredly.

‘You overslept’ He continued, as he got no answer ‘That’s not a sin. We all do it from time to time’

She sat on the ground

‘Usually, I don’t. That’s why AJ probably thought I was sick’

He walked next to her and rested his body on the tree.

‘What kept you up all night, then?’ His steady eye contact made her heart skip a beat and look away.

‘Stupid stuff’ She shrugged.

‘You weren’t thinking about me...were you?’ He questioned hopefully.

She shook her head, smiling faintly with her eyes closed. She knew that if she looked at him know he’d know for sure.

‘You wish...’ Her eyes opened and fixated on the river, trying to think of anything else that wasn’t him. She finally decided to go and check on the traps.

He just looked at her walk away, in awe that such a shrewd-looking young woman could actually so secretive and charming at the same time.

If this was really a case of unrequited love, he knew he was screwed.

‘Help me out’ Clementine called, waking him from his daydream ‘Brody said there were a set of traps lined up over there’ She pointed away

‘I’m on it!’

Louis took a hair tie out of his pocket and put his dreadlocks up in a bun. Right after, he took off his jacket, so that he could be free from the unforgiving heat for a couple of minutes.

He noticed he had caught Clementine’s attention while he neatly folded his jacket and put it on the ground. He raised a brow

‘What? I’m hot! And I refuse to walk back to the school cooking myself in my own sweat’

He turned around and walked away.

She remained silent, judging his form as he marched away from her. She realized she never had the chance to see him like that. He looked like a whole new person. This look actually was much more fitting to his gregarious personality.

She looked away, trying to focus on picking up the few fish that got trapped. While putting the fish down in the bucket, she looked around. Louis was still working hard under the sun.

During the past few weeks, she had studied in secrecy every detail of his face, every freckle and the way that his eyes narrowed when he smiled, among other things. The more she watched him now, though,  the better he looked. With an intent gaze, she discovered another whole set of characteristics she clearly hadn’t seen before; They way he distributed his weight while standing, how his shoulders squared when he was trying hard to concentrate and the way his becoming features blended so harmoniously with the landscape as if he was music himself. It was almost troublesome now that she realized how handsome he really was.

‘Are you OK, Clem?’ The girl didn’t notice had already walked back with three small fish in his hands. Her absent-minded expression amused him greatly.

‘I was thinking I had never seen you without your jacket before…’ She squinted while looking up to meet his eyes

He put the fish down and put his hands on his hips.

‘And? What do you think?’ He asked, full of himself.

‘I think you need to mend the holes of your shirt’ She pointed at him ‘That’s unusable’

‘First of all, ouch….’ He put a hand on his chest ‘Now I have no other choice but to hide in my coat forever’

‘Or, maybe, I could sew it up for you sometime...if you want’ This made Louis extremely happy, but he tried to play it cool.

‘I like that idea, but here’s a counter-offer: What if you teach me how to do it, and then I can patch up my own stuff. I like to think I’m self sufficient, you know?’

He already knew how to sew, but he’d take every chance to share a moment with her.

‘That’s fine by me’ Her eyes smiled for a moment before looking at the bucket and

sighing ‘There’s barely food for all of us tonight…’ She said, disappointed.

‘Do you think that maybe if we fished with our bare hands, we’d catch more fish?’

She moved her gaze back to the boy. His eyes were lost in thought, as if he was honestly considering it ‘You know...like bears?’ He continued despite her silent judgment

‘I get it, Louis’ She sentenced with an exasperated sigh.

‘So…?’

‘So this is a serious matter!’

‘I am serious too!’ He defended himself ‘Well, most of the time…’

‘I hope the hunting party had better luck today’ She threw her head back and closed her eyes, looking for peace.

He let her had a moment of silence. Unfortunately for her, it didn’t last long enough.

‘Well, those fish aren’t coming back anytime soon’ He exclaimed looking at the river while untying one of his boots. She knitted her brows

‘What are you doing?’ she asked cautiously.

‘This heat is killing me, so I’m going to put my feet in the water for a while, maybe test my theory about the bears...have some fun’ He took his other boot off and put it away next to him ‘You’re more than welcome to join me’

‘Do we really have time for that??’ Clementine questioned ‘You know they expect us to bring back some food, right?’

‘And we already took care of that’ He nodded at the bucket full of fish. ‘It’s ready to go and I think we’ve earned the chance to unwind for a moment. Don’t you?’

‘I don’t know…’

‘Besides, you owe me from the other day…’

‘I don’t owe you anything!’ She protested, standing up before him ‘I never really accepted your offer in the first place’

‘Well’ He smiled charmingly down at her ‘You did tell me you wanted to apologize for not showing up…that means you had the intention to see me...am I in the wrong here?’

‘Ok, smartass, let’s relax’ She blurted, taking off her worned out hat, her jacket and untying her boots as Louis walked away triumphantly towards the river.

The water was cold to the touch, refreshing. He immediately decided to walk a little further, until the water covered his knees over his pants.

‘You’re getting all wet!’ Clementine commented, sitting down a rock, dangling her legs to damp her feet up to her ankles as she watched him look around himself.

‘Uh, I think that’s exactly the point of being in water’ He shouted back, walking five steps towards her ‘It’s hot as hell, I’ll dry out in an instant and I could really need some freshening up’ The girl shook her head, her curls hanging loose ‘And so could you’

‘Excuse me?’ She scoffed, offended

‘Hey, I’m an honest guy…’

‘That was rude, not honest...’

‘Seriously, though,when was the last time you washed your face?’ He waded towards where she was sitting and offered her his hand accompanied by a confident smile. She knew he was right, so she preferred not to argue back.

Clementine was hesitant at first, but she finally decided to get down from the rocks and settle herself in the water. The sensation of her clothes sticking to her skin wasn’t fun, but the warmth of her hand in his tight grip made her forget all about it.

He led her in the river with caution, not taking his eyes off her wary stance. She looked like a cat about to take a bath, but much more adorable.

She freed herself from his hand and washed her face meticulously. Louis fell speechless when in front of him there stood at renewed Clementine. Her skin looked soft and young, her many little scars adorned her face and neck in a way he hadn’t seen ever before.

He was truly captivated by her, while she didn’t know how to respond to his love-struck expression. This was all new, unexplored territory.

A splash of water to his face made him gasp for air. When he opened his eyes, he saw Clementine laughing wholeheartedly.

‘Oh, you’ll pay for that!’ He laughed with her, splashing back. These actions resulted in a good twenty minutes of horseplay in and out the water.

They were children once again, enjoying each other’s company, chasing and wrestling one another in the stirring waters that drenched them from the hips down. For a moment, they forgot all about the apocalypse, about Ericson and about everyone else.

Who cares how they got there?

Who cares about their past, their scars and their tragic memories?

They were there and that’s all that mattered.

Louis finally caught up to Clementine and lifted her in a hug. He lost balance over a slippery rock and they fell over.

She panicked for half the second her head was underwater. The last time she was completely submerged a body of water wasn’t exactly fun.

‘You OK?’ Louis helped her sit up, with worry in his face. She met his eyes and she suddenly didn’t care she was soaking wet and let out a nervous laugh

‘I’m okay, Louis...but I think that’s enough fun for today’ She stood up and managed to wade back to the riverside. The boy followed her.

They dried their feet with a piece of cloth they took from the cabin, put on their socks and boots and sat down near the high grass, hoping the sun was kind enough to dry their outfits before they had to head back to the school.

Clementine put her head on Louis shoulder absentmindedly. Only when she could feel Louis’ heartbeat quickening , she realized what she had done.

She didn’t regret it, though. Instead, she took the opportunity as a chance to prove she was brave enough to be honest about her feelings.

‘That night’ she began, hesitantly ‘I couldn’t stop thinking about your stupid face...and the words you wrote’ Louis looked down at her with raised eyebrows as she continued with a self-accusing tone ‘I must have read that letter at least five times before even thinking of going to sleep’ He did not answer. She looked up at him and kept on talking to avoid any more awkward silences ‘I’m also glad I could stay here… AJ needs a family like Ericson and I...I don’t think I could go back on the road after meeting you’

Louis tried to find the correct words to respond to her beautiful declaration of crush.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Clementine shivered and began trembling, despite the heat.

‘We shouldn’t have stayed so long in the water’ He said instead while standing up to get his coat ‘You’re gonna catch a cold’ He continued as he put it on her. She shook her head, smiling.

‘I had fun. It’s just that the cold and I don’t get along’ She confessed while adjusting the sleeves to her own arms length.

Louis lifted the short hair strands at the back of Clementine’s neck, so the coat would fit her better. His hands stopped moving as she looked up at him. He was paralyzed by her timid stare.

Slowly, he moved his right hand from the back of her neck to her cold cheek. Just as his thumb brushed against her jaw and the corner of her mouth, she felt her stomach flutter making her gasp lightly. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his, feeling unusually fragile at the touch of his fingers.

He simply could not close his eyes. His attention was fixed on her mouth and her shivering breaths, still in disbelief that she was so close to him. He wanted to kiss her so badly. His thoughts were racing and crashing inside his mind, but none of his muscles would react accordingly.

Noticing this, she pushed all her fears aside and put her right hand on his chest. She had no clue as to what she was doing. She only knew that every second was painfully long. She couldn’t take it anymore and leaned in to press her lips against his for a couple of seconds.

It was the first time both of them had kissed anyone with this amount of innocence.

Louis leaned back thinking that was it, but Clementine’s lips lingered on and followed his mouth almost instinctively. With eyes still closed, his name escaped her mouth in a breathy whisper, as if she was asking him to never leave her.

His eyes opened in response, her voice woke an unknown craving for her, he wanted her as close as possible at all times. He put his hand against hers on his chest, letting her know with the sole beating of his heart what she provoked in him.

His mouth met hers with parting lips, almost not touching. She didn’t like being teased like that. He soon discovered he secretly loved toying with her impatience. He tilted his head to the side and she put her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to her.

She would have stayed that way forever, until an urgent gasp reminded her that she also needed air to live and as if she had just woken up from an vivid dream, she opened her eyes abruptly only to notice that Louis was just was short of breath as she.

‘I’m sorry’ she apologized multiple times, quickly pulling away from him, embarrassedly surprised by her newfound intensity. She stood up and began walking back to the school with arms around herself.

Once he finally realized what had just happened, Louis grabbed Chairles and ran behind her.

‘Hey, whoa, whoa! Don’t you think we need to address this issue before getting back?’ He said standing between her and the rest of the way.

‘Don’t you get the feeling we shouldn’t have done that?’ She answered, not stopping for one second.

‘I’m afraid the feeling I got was just the opposite’ He made her stop with both of his hands on her shoulders ‘In case you didn’t know, it’s the end of the world out here, and I stopped giving a shit a long time before that. I just want to live for today and enjoy whatever time I have left. I have absolutely nothing to lose’

Clementine’s eyes saddened at his blunt words.

She realized that if she lost him right after how he made her feel minutes ago, she wouldn’t be able to stand it.

She felt powerless.

‘Please, Louis...don’t say things like that’ She begged on the verge of tears. She pushed his arms away and kept walking firmly.

‘Just tell me you didn’t feel the same way I felt back there’ He insisted ‘Tell me you’d never do it again and I’ll leave you alone forever’

Forever is a long, long time. They both thought in a fraction of a second as the river sang its constant murmur. The sky was turning orange and the breeze started blowing a little colder. Clementine hugged herself, avoiding Louis’ interrogative eyes.

‘Whatever just happened...I can’t say I didn’t like it, and I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again’ She confessed, feeling warm only at her cheeks

‘All this time I thought you didn’t like me, but now it turns out you do... but now you don’t want us to be a thing...I’m super confused, I just don’t get what the problem is, Clem’ He blurted out impatiently.

‘I really like you, but-’ A rather loud hungry groan interrupted her.

She looked around to locate the threat, took the knife from her pocket, walked firmly past Louis and pushed it angrily against the skull of a legless walker.

They hadn’t noticed it crawling behind him all this time.

‘...But look at this mess…’ She pointed at the lifeless body with her knife. ‘We cannot live in our own bubble, away from the disaster that is the world today’ She shook her head, trying to convince herself, too ‘We just can’t’

‘Look, I’m just as lost as you are in here, but hear me out’ Clementine spotted another walker approaching quickly. She kicked its knee, making it lose balance and making it easier for Louis to finish it off with Chairles. He moved his stare from the grossly decayed corpse to her young, lively eyes ‘You can’t deny we make an amazing team’

‘Yeah, when we are focused...but when you’re too close to me, I lose track of time and reality and it’s...dangerous...I feel weak’ She wrapped her arms around herself

‘That’s how I feel, too...and I have no idea how it happened, all I know is that I like you, Clem, and I like you even more now that I’ve seen this side of you, I don’t care if it turns dangerous in the long term, this is what I care about right now...more than anything’

‘Louis-’

He wouldn’t let her keep protesting.

‘I want to keep discovering you, every side of you, and I want you to know me, too...like nobody does’

His words were almost unbearable for Clementine. She wanted to believe him, kiss him again, and forget all that drama. Instead, she put her knife away and turned around with the intention of walking towards the school gates.

Before she could take her first step, he took her hand and turned her back around to face him. He was soft with his touch, but his words were firm and decisive.

‘Sometimes you’re really hard to read’ He told her in a serious tone ‘Are you going to tell me why are you so scared of us?’

‘I’ve seen it too many times’ Her voice cracked when she looked at him in the eyes ‘People losing that one person they cared about the most...they end up broken beyond repair’

Her thoughts went to the memories of Kenny losing Duck, Katjaa and then Sarita. She recalled that fateful day when Christa lost Omid and then their child. She could have gone on and on about other people she’s seen lose part of themselves in childish stand-offs and misunderstandings, but her eyes shut close and with them all of her mind went black and red. She battled against her tears, but it was a losing fight in the end

‘If you ever…’ She dared to look at him again, with painful tears streaming down her cheeks

Louis dropped Chairles to the ground and pulled her close for a tight hug to hush her grim thoughts.

‘I already live with the constant fear of losing AJ forever, and now, the thought of losing you, too…’ she cried with her voiced muffled against his chest between helpless sobs.

He was shocked. Just the previous night he had gone to bed thinking this girl was indifferent to him, now he’s holding her as she cries mournful tears at the thought of him dying.

He caressed her hair as he shushed her tenderly.

‘It won’t be like that. It won’t be like any of those times’ He promised her, shutting his eyes closed as she tightened her grip around his waist, sniffling ‘We’re stronger together. Stronger than any other team you’ve ever seen. You’ll see...’

They remained close to each other in silence until Clementine finally got a hold of herself. She pulled away from him with a long sigh, her eyes and cheeks were drenched in her own tears, but looked away when she talked

‘I just can’t afford to lose you like I’ve lost everyone else’

He gave him a reassuring smile as he dried her remaining tears with his thumb

‘I’m honestly amazed that you think you can get rid of me so easily’

She tried to laugh, but couldn’t play along.

She buried her face in his chest once again and apologized several times, more to herself than to him. It was unlike her to act like this around others, she’d usually just keep her raw feelings to herself, but this time she couldn’t avoid them and that frustrated her to the point of tears. She had heard him say that he wanted to know her as she really was, but she hated this side of her and the fact that he got to see it.

‘It’s okay, Clem’ He comforted her softly ‘I won’t insist, I promise...we can take it as slow as you want, or just don’t take it at all...whatever you decide’ He didn’t know why he added the latter, but sadly enough,that option was now available for her.

‘Thank you’ She muttered, not being able to face him.

She turned around and he let her go just as fast as he held her close minutes before.

They kept a distance from each other, the atmosphere had turned awkward once again.

Their pace was tired and slow.

The sun was setting just as they ran into Marlon, Violet, Aasim and AJ.

The little boy shouted Clementine’s name and ran to embrace her, only to pull away almost immediately after not recognizing her usual scent.

‘Is that Louis’ jacket? He looked up at her  ‘Where is your hat?’

The three teenagers were still standing there, confused as they’d ever be

‘What happened out there?’ Marlon asked first, then turned to Louis ‘Where’s Chairles?’

Before Louis could even realize he went back unarmed, Aasim stepped up to continue the interrogation

‘Where’s the fish?’ His tone was more apprehensive than concerned. Violet tried to be more careful in her questioning.

‘Were you guys attacked?’ She said, hoping for a negative answer.

Clementine and Louis shared a look and nodded.

‘Five of them’ Louis started

‘They caught us with our guard down while we were f-fishing’ Clementine continued, discreetly eyeing his party mate.

‘Yep, that’s why we’re like this’ The boy concluded, hoping their friends wouldn’t keep questioning them.

‘You know we need the food’ Aasim continued, a line forming between his brows

‘And I need my bat, Sherlock’ Louis argued back, crossing his arms in front of him ‘I’m going back for all of it’

‘I am’ Clem stepped up ‘You’re not going anywhere unarmed. I’ll make a run for it. I’ve done it before’

‘I will go, too’ AJ proposed

‘No, it’s getting dark and I don’t want to be there more than necessary

’

‘But, Clem-’

‘I said no, Alvin Junior, that is final!’ She sentenced with a harsh tone she rarely used on the kid. She wasn’t proud of her emotions ruling her mind and she didn’t want to feel her friends’ judging stares any minute longer, so she turned around and ran back into the woods.

Violet and Marlon shared a look.

Aasim looked at Louis and then at AJ, both of them had a hurt expression in their eyes.

‘Don’t worry’ He said to the kid, taking out his bow ‘I’ll watch over her’ he looked back at Louis and nodded.before running off behind the girl.

[daedalcs]

A study in Headcannons: Jean Masters edition

This is a compendium of all the headcannons I could find that I’ve posted on my blog and a few that I hadn’t managed to write out yet. Gives some finer details on Jean and overall adds to her story.

 There is a small weathered brown leather sketchbook in the front left breast pocket of her work jacket that has a hand carved wooden pencil bound to the side. Inside the yellowing pages, you can find increasingly detailed sketches of the targets that she’s been given to kill. This book started when she had turned 18 and the first entry is of a stoic and serious looking man, this would be her father. It’s not particularly well drawn, though there’s one part of his face that she’s seemed to have spent the most time getting correct and it’s the piercing stare the man wears. A few of the drawings have color put in key places like lips, eyes, or facial tattoos though most are in regular pencil. Maxamillion’s sketch has a small note scratched onto the back that isn’t in Jean’s handwriting and it reads “Studying your target gets you one step closer to killing them.”

    Jean had quite a few tattoos and one iron brand that had gotten taken off when she lost her arm. There is a dragon winding up the side of her thigh and across her ribs, along with an all-seeing eye on her right shoulder that is the mark of her company Trinity. These tattoos are the major identifying features of her along with a nasty healed bullet wound scar just below her navel.

    Jean was actually entirely homeschooled by her father, and while she’s not a superstar at math she’s pretty intelligent in the street smarts sort of way. Max thought that practical skills were much more important than anything they were dishing out in school so he made a point to teach both his children the arts of protecting yourself, smooth talking, and hitting a target from a click away the basic stuff. So sure, she’s a smart gal but calculus is a mystery.

    While her occupation and previous trauma have steeled her emotionally Jean is actually a soft person underneath all the walls and locks. Some part of her aches for a person to just hold her and tell her things will be okay. She internalizes a lot of emotions and guilt from her past and when it’s dark and quiet those thoughts and monsters crawl up out of the woodwork.

    Night terrors and insomnia are common plagues of the woman keeping her from getting sleep a majority of the time. The few times that she’s had restful sleep is when she’s in the arms of someone else.  And I’m not talking like a one night stand or anything like that, I mean that she trusts this person enough to just melt into their arms and fall asleep. Her work takes a lot out of her and she’s just tired.

Jean has two boats. One is currently dry docked in Morrocco while the other is a 67-meter superyacht by the name of the Sea Widow which is the base for most of Trinity’s mobile operations.

Jean is technically a multi-millionaire. With about 250 million in offshore accounts and floating among various proxy accounts so dirty money can’t be traced. For the most part, she lives rather lavishly.

Jean has been married twice. First one lasting for a few years before the toll of her lifestyle took too much out of the man and he divorced her and left the country. Jean abides by his wishes and does not keep tabs on him.

Her second husband had been a double agent and had her kidnapped and tortured for two weeks which ultimately ended in her losing her arm and her killing him after she’d escaped.

Jean has spinal compression from various hard falls and the connective tissue in her knees is pretty beat up. There are occasional phantom pains from her missing arm and the tissue around where the metal connects to her body gets irritated when not taken care of properly. Partial hearing loss in her left ear from an explosion. There are patches on her body where she has little feeling due to previous injuries, this is most prevalent on her back and left side.

For a minute she had a dependency on painkillers, though after some tough self-discipline Jean got herself away from them and now prefers not to take them if at all possible. She’s tried to stop smoking on several occasions but found that it just made her temper terrible and her hands shake with the withdrawals so she’s gotten down to half a pack a day.

If you were to look around Jean’s home you would notice that there’s a lot of spackled over patches here and there. This is because she forgets the strength of her metal arm from time to time and has put holes in the walls. One of the largest holes that had happened was when she had been trying to hang a painting and she put the entire hammer through the wall.

Weapon of choice is a Remington CSR, collapsible and powerful it’s great for both long and medium range. While the short range stuff is kept to super 625 .45 revolver ( just in case her target decided to hide behind a tank ) or a trusty KBAR knife that’s been lovingly sharpened and oiled.

Multilingual Jean can speak four languages fluently and a handful of others to a conversational level. English, Spanish, Russian, and Arabic are her main languages simply for business sake with those being the biggest contenders.

In the Monster Hunter verse, Jean is unable to fully die. She will sustain harsh enough injuries and enter a state of in between. Due to a pact that she’d made with the grim reaper in her younger years, though when her time finally comes and she fulfills her mission Jean is given just enough time to spend a few moments with her family then simply fade from existence.

Jean can play two instruments, guitar, and piano. She was taught how to play the guitar by her brother Stephan when she was younger, it kept her mind from other things and gave Stephan and her something to do together to avoid their father. The piano she had taught herself after she’d lost her arm in an attempt to gain finer finger dexterity back after the accident. The piano helped her combat the phantom pains that she experienced frequently in the beginning and it also allowed her to become used to the new appendage.

Not a day goes by that Jean doesn’t think about her brother. Stephan had been her support and guardian from her father’s rage and beatings for most of her childhood after their mother died. When he ran away after he turned 18 leaving the then 14 year old Jean alone with the husk of a man that was their father Jean never quite forgave him. It’s this acidic hole in her chest that burns her up inside. There are so many questions that she wants to ask him most of them starting with why. Why did he leave her without saying anything? Why didn’t he take her with him? Where did he go? Where did you go? Jean runs this old film reel over and over in her head at night

Jean wanted kids. She really wanted to be a better person for them and grasped for that white picket fence life for so long that when she had gotten shot in the stomach and had her internals so badly damaged that it ripped that away from her, the woman didn’t really ever recover. There are times where the assassin absently traces that scar on her stomach thinking about everything that could have been.

Dreams are less of night terrors and more like glimpses into a different life. Sometimes it’s hazy memories of picknicks with the whole family when her mother was still alive. Sometimes its visions of taking her kids to go see uncle Stephan who lives somewhere in the mountains. Though waking up is always the same, leaving this harsh ache in her entire body when she realizes that all of those dreams are just dreams.

There had been moments when Jean wished she failed in killing her father. Knowing that the consequences would have been her own demise she silently wonders what would have happened. If there was such thing as an afterlife could she have watched the man that had once been a rock for their family fall apart under the knowledge that he’d killed his only daughter and drove his son out of the home? Jean has always wondered. 

[anflowcrat]

Mechanics Enhancing Narrative (Long-ass essay about video games)

[Spoilers for the ending of Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core]

I’ve long maintained the idea that video games as a medium has done a very poor job of utilizing what makes it unique in order to make more compelling and impactful narratives. Instead, the industry as a whole has relied on inserting more cutscenes or stripping the mechanics away (whether it be a walking simulator or a telltale-esque experience) in order to tell a more impactful story. I, by no means, intend to limit what a video game could be. I’m not advocating that a video game must be driven by a certain amount of interactive moments in order for it to be a video game. I am saying, however, that we have not been taking full advantage of the strengths of the medium.

Certain genres are ahead in this department. Horror games certainly have a leg up as the mere act of playing through a scary situation rather than watching or reading about a scary situation is scarier by default. This is also a genre famous for intentionally crippling the user’s controls in order to derive more fear. The same goes for thrillers. Open World games would be another example of a genre ahead in this department as it is the only medium in the world where the setting is the story. We can put non-open world games that effectively utilize environmental storytelling in this category as well. 

But let’s talk about drama. For my money, there’s been very few games that have been able to effectively enhance the dramatic points in their narrative through the use of mechanics. And no, merely giving the player a choice between multiple dramatic moments does not mean you are taking advantage of the medium. Surely you can make an audience member choose between the two endings of Life is Strange just as effectively with a Choose Your Own Adventure book or an interactive DVD. And just because you arrived at a dramatic point during a sidequest, again, does not mean the medium is being taken advantage of because you could just as easily release a short story telling that sidequest alongside a movie or a novel. And fuck you, if you give me an example of a party member dying in an RPG and tell me that’s more dramatic because you’re losing an asset in a fight, fuck you. It’s technically true but it’s easy. 

I’m talking about using gameplay mechanics that the player will be using for the majority of the game in order to make a dramatic moment more impactful. I’m talking about your buttons. Not your options or your lack of options. That dumb X button on your controller could and should enhance your experience.

And I’m not talking about QTE’s goddammit.Those enhance your experience in the same way that a jump scare enhances your horror experience, only in the most basic and superficial way possible.

Fuck it, whatever. You saw the spoiler warning. Let’s talk about Zack’s death in Crisis Core.

For those of you who have never played the game, here’s all you really need to know: Crisis Core stars Zack and is a prequel to Final Fantasy VII which stars Cloud. A bunch of shit happens and in the end Zack fights one last fight in order to save Cloud and then dies.

You might watch this video and think “so what? It’s a final stand. I’ve seen that before only this time it’s coupled with bad voice acting.” If you thought that, well, good. My whole point is that the gameplay systems in Crisis Core has transformed this moment from a movie to a video game. In which case, you can’t experience the full impact of this scene without playing it yourself.  How does the game achieve this? Four points.

The transition to gameplay mid-cutscene is vitally important. We could have watched an epic movie of Zack mowing down all the soldiers, but we could do better. We could use the mechanics in order to derive something more from the scene. I would imagine that the feeling of hopelessness, nobility, honor, and admiration would retain for the audience were this to be a movie, however, it would lose one key element: the naive hope. Seriously, look at the comments, one of the top ones is about how they tried their hardest because they thought that if they played it better, they could live. That’s important, because that feeling no-doubt also existed within Zack. It’s a naive feeling that goes against all logic, but goddammit, you’re going to try your best to live anyway. Ultimately, this makes the loss all the more miserable, because now you can add failure as the cherry on top of that tragedy cake.

There’s also the “DMW’ system which stands for Digital Mind Wave. I’m not going to explain the system in its entirety, just know that it’s tied to Zack’s relationship with the other characters. And we see that the faces all eventually become white silhouettes except for Aeris’s. Obviously, at the surface we can take that to mean that Aeris is the most important person in Zack’s life at that point and that she was constantly on his mind during those final moments. Though maybe you’ll argue that you could achieve the same effect in a movie by flashing her face on screen intermittently, which is fair enough and while I would argue that the game utilizing both options makes it even more poignant, that’s not all the DMW system does for this scene. You see when the pictures land on Aeris, the ability it triggers is a full heal and it grants Zack temporary invincibility. So through the mechanics of the game, you can feel how important Aeris is to Zack. At the end of it, she was literally the only thing keeping Zack alive. 

And when the DMW system fails, and there’s only a few soldiers left, you can feel the sluggishness in the controls. The feeling of you limping against three enemies, the type of which you’ve been destroying all game, is harrowing. Moreso than if you were just watching it, because you can feel how weak Zack’s become. You can feel death approaching.

And finally, Zack lies in a pool of his own blood while Cloud slowly crawls over to him. Zack grabs Cloud’s head and says “you are my legacy.” You might wonder how Crisis Core being a video game enhances this scene, after all, you’re not pressing buttons here. Well, you’re not pressing buttons yet. Remember, Crisis Core is a prequel to Final Fantasy VII. This is important because this can change the emotion the audience feels at this moment. At least, it did with me. Because instead of feeling “yeah, Cloud will do you proud, Zack.” I felt “I’ll fucking do you proud Zack. I’ll play Final Fantasy VII, I’ll take control of Cloud, and I’m gonna do right by you cause you’re my fucking boy. I’m gonna press some fucking buttons and make you proud.”

Obviously Crisis Core isn’t the only video game that’s been able to effectively use their gameplay systems in order to enhance a dramatic point in their narrative, I can think of a few already just off the top of my head, and maybe I’ll talk about those things if I ever feel like revisiting this topic. But I do feel that the examples are few amongst a sea of wasted potential. And that’s my point. I like movies. But I’d like a lot more video games. Use Crisis Core as an example. 

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Intuitive Astrology: February Full Moon 2020

Intuitive Astrology: February Full Moon 2020

By Tanaaz

There are many layers to this Full Moon so I encourage you to vibe with what you feel. My interpretations are only here as fuel to inspire your own sacred connection with the energy of the Moon.

The February Full Moon falls on the 8th or 9th of the month, depending on your time zone. It rests in the sign of Leo, and its energy comes to tend to the fire that lives within our hearts. 

It comes to clear away all that dims our light and separates us from feeling connected to our journey.

Leo is ruled by the Sun, so whenever we have a Full Moon in the sign of the Sun, it’s extra special.

When Leo holds space for the Full Moon, its like a ray of light shining down on all that feels dark and heavy in our lives.

Leo is a fire sign that reminds us to connect with all that lights us up. It reminds us to connect with our inner fire, with our inner Sun, and to remember that life is for experiencing rather than controlling.

What sets your soul on fire? What fans your inner flame? What brings you a sense of purpose as you move through the experiences of life?

These are some of the questions the February Full Moon poses for us. It wants us to connect with these questions so we can work on clearing away all separates us from feeling present and at peace with our lives.

There is something strengthening, motivating, and restorative about this Full Moon too, not just because it falls in the sign of Leo the lion, but also because it forms a harmonious alignment with the planet of motivation, Mars.

Mars will be like a motivational speaker at our side, championing us along as we take on any challenges or projects during this time.

Mars’ energy will help inspire us to push past any fears that are holding us back or keeping our inner light small. 

If there are fears you have been holding onto, if there are things you would rather not look at, or pains that have felt just too heavy to carry, allow a little space for this Full Moon energy to hold you. 

Allow a little space for this Full Moon to start moving and shifting things out of your body, out of your mind, out of your heart, and out of your life.

Full Moons are always portals for releasing, so if we tune in and allow the Full Moon’s energy to infuse with our own, we will find ourselves supported to let go of all that no longer serves.

February’s Full Moon is also linked back to August of 2019. Every August brings the Lionsgate Portal which falls when the Sun is in Leo.

Now that we have the Full Moon in Leo, we may find ourselves revisiting themes that were happening for us during Lionsgate of last year. 

We may even find ourselves harvesting whatever seeds we had planted during this time.

We tend to forget that Full Moons are also harvest or culmination points where we can reap the benefits of all we have sown over the last six months.

If there is something you have wanted to do, something you have wanted to try, something you have wanted to say, this Full Moon will give you the dose of self-belief and self-confidence that you need. 

Its energy is there for us to use, but it’s only real if we act on it, if we let it in, if we allow it to guide us.

While I always post a Full Moon Ritual, this is definitely one of those Full Moons where you want to set an intention to push past a fear or barrier in order to breakthrough to the other side.

As long as we are moving from the heart, we should allow ourselves the freedom to try, fail, learn, and everything in between.

Put yourself on the line, even if it makes you feel vulnerable, even if it’s scary, because that’s how you grow, that’s how you learn, that’s how you keep leveling up on your journey.

There is another interesting energy at play at this Full Moon that deserves a whole article of its own, and this is the meeting of Venus and Black Moon Lilith.

I will go into more detail about this in another article, but this alignment will also support finding our strength and confidence and breaking away from any chains or restraints that have held us back.

Overall, the February Full Moon is a time to stand in our power. It is a time to connect to our higher selves, and to walk in alignment with our highest calling. It is a time to connect to our own inner Sun, the core of who we are.

There is a Sanskrit mantra that recently came into my awareness which I feel supports this Full Moon energy perfectly- “Aham Brahmasmi”which according to Deepak Chopra, translates to- “the core of my being is the ultimate reality.”

Feel into those words for a moment. Allow yourself to meditate on them. In astrology, the core of who we are is represented by the Sun, and with the Full Moon in the ruler of the Sun, we can all dive deep and feel into the truth of whatever our reality is.

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Has Come To An End!

  Welcome back to the final edition of THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH. I'm your host this week, Daniel Dockery, and after 200+ of episodes of high stakes ninja battles, low stakes ninja filler, and medium stakes ninja fart jokes, we've come to the end of Naruto. Every week since the beginning of the year, we've watched seven episodes of the show and every week, we've come together to discuss our feelings on them. Whether we were basking in the wonderful glow of Rock Lee or begging to be done with another filler escort mission, we did it together. We're like a family that gathers on a weekly holiday to complain about Sasuke. That's truly a family that we should all aspire to have.

    But it is now over, which means that it's time for reflection. It's time to look at the series as a whole and see what we liked most, what we got out of the whole experience, and what we want in the future. If this was a movie, "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)" by Green Day would be playing as the school year ends. We'd all give each other hugs and cry a little bit and then Joe Luster (played by Miles Teller, probably) would say something like "Same time next week?" and we'd chuckle, because it's only kind of a joke. We'll be starting a few new series soon before we jump into Shippuden, and you'll just have to wait to find out what they are.

We're gonna START this week with the HIGHS and LOWS from the last few episodes:

Joseph: The high point for me was seeing this series of corny battles wrap up and finally, FINALLY send us packing toward Shippuden. The low point was... I just can't believe this filler story was the finale.

  Kara: The high was the very end... seeing how far Naruto and everyone else have come both in their own skills and their estimations of each other. I think I mentioned before, but it's wild to realize we've gone from "tie Naruto to a post and make him skip lunch because he failed that hard" to his peers talking completely unsarcastically about trying to measure up to him. Low point was the fact that I couldn't focus when I realized this series was going out on a story where Naruto tries to teach Japanese Merlin the power of friendship or whatever.

  Kevin: High - I actually kind of liked the last scene or two, where everyone realizes that Naruto's about to leave with Jiraiya, and Naruto stops for a ramen lunch with Iruka before heading out. It's a nice bit of counterpoint to the beginning of the series, showing how Naruto's succeeded in getting people to recognize and accept him.

Low - Gaara's basically out of chakra to the point that the enemy doesn't think he can even fight. Clearly that means he has just enough power left for three major attacks, the likes of which we've either never seen or would almost certainly exhaust him if he were at full strength. I guess this arc really is taking ideas from Shippuden, because willpower is apparently more of a factor in battle than actual physical limitations.

Dishonorable mention - Admittedly, I don't think anyone ever explicitly stated how Gaara's sand works, but I was always under the impression that Shukaku was in control, or at least powering it, rather that Gaara using his own chakra. Also, when I heard that the armor absorbed chakra, my first thought was that Lee was a great match, because Taijutsu doesn't use chakra. I guess I was wrong. Either that, or the people writing this last arc were making some assumptions about how Naruto works.

  Carolyn: I would have to agree; watching everyone actually care about Naruto leaving was very sweet. He's spent so much time caring for his friends and feeling like an outcast and now he's found a family. That's a definite high point. My low point would be the fact that the final episodes weren't really about Naruto at all. They were about Gaara. Which, while I like Gaara, seems like a weird choice.

  Jared: That last bit with Naruto leaving was real good. Seeing how everyone was reacting to him heading off with Jiraiya, although it's kind of funny that Jiraiya gives him the whole spiel about training and it takes him 80+ episodes for him to actually do it. There was also a small scene where I liked how Neji was basically trying to wingman for Hinata by having them stop training so she could see Naruto off. Low point would be just how bland the final villains were for this last arc.

    Noelle: I'm with everyone else, Naruto leaving was definitely my high point. After all, this is his home, and he's leaving all he's familiar with in a bet to possibly get stronger. It isn't just hollow either, because he has people who will miss him and come see him off. It's very touching, especially considering how Naruto has always been framed as being alone. Low point... this last arc felt so dull? Surprising, considering I adore Gaara but I really wasn't feeling it.

  Paul: My high point is the realization that Sakura's Medical Ninja training consists of using her Chakra to revive progressively larger and more expensive fish. My low point is related: Sakura and Ino have now both been relegated into roles as healers. I think Kara previously brought this up many, many episodes ago: that sort of power, while crucial, is a fundamentally reactive power rather than a pro-active power. I worry that going into Shippuden, the girls will still be playing second fiddle to the boys.

  Danni: The high point for me was the final few scenes. Seeing Naruto say his goodbyes to the Leaf Village while everyone else vows to get stronger as well got me real excited for the impending timeskip. I really can't wait to see how much they've grown when Shippuden begins. The low point for me was how underwhelming the villains turned out to be. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish this arc had been longer so there could be more time to flesh out the Artisan Village and the Four Celestials. The inexplicably magical Voltron armor gets an honorary mention.

  David: My low point is similar to last week: despite liking everyone involved in this arc, all the best parts mostly felt like the show nudging my shoulder and asking if I remember this cool stuff from forever ago. High point seems to be echoing most everyone else: finally saying goodbye before we come back to see how everyone has changed.

Welp, that's it, y'all. How are you feeling? Relieved that it's over? Ready for a break? Eager for Shippuden? Frantically writing Sasuke fan fiction?

Joseph: I'm somewhere in the middle. I'd say I'm eager for a little bit of a break, but I also desperately want to wash this taste out of my mouth with some sweet, sweet, main storyline action in Shippuden. I wanna watch Naruto get good again!

  Kara: It's about the same for me. As excited as I am about Shippuden, that was a lot of filler and I need a few minutes.

  Kevin: Honestly, I'm ready to go to start Shippuden. Throughout this rewatch, I kept remembering just how much changes between the two series. Naruto starts with actual ninja techniques and ends up with Naruto being accepted by the other genin and a selection of higher ups. Shippuden starts with Naruto trying to save a world leader, and (without spoiling too much) ends with fights to save the planet and a war that takes over 200 episodes.

  Carolyn: I'm very happy to have a break in between Naruto episodes.

    Jared: It's going to be real weird not having Naruto in my weekly schedule, but I think a break is going to be good. I'm pretty excited to get back to non-filler writing though.

  Noelle: I have been in filler jail for so long, I'll take that break.

Paul: I'm ready to move on to Shippuden, and I've even added it to my queue. When I was in college, among my social circle, Naruto was held in low regard. People treated it as a series for babies, and being a Naruto fan was synonymous with having questionable (or at least very "basic") taste. I never thought I'd pick it up so many years later, or that I'd enjoy it as much as I have.

Danni: I'm not gonna lie, as soon as I finished episode 220, I considered secretly starting Shippuden right away anyway. It's been the light at the end of the filler tunnel for me for so long that I'm actually bummed I can't dive right into it just yet. I just bought my first Naruto t-shirt from the Crunchyroll Store, and now I have to wait to break it in until [redacted].

David: Despite the last few months of disappointing filler, the actual show up until the retrieval arc turned out to be some of the most fun I've had watching anime every week, so count me in with those who kind of wish we were just going straight into Shippuden.

  What is one character that you desperately wish had been given more to do?

Joseph: I would have liked more Kakashi in these filler storylines. The fact that it was a shocker when he occasionally showed up speaks volumes. Instead it felt like we were getting the same or very similar teams on each mission.

  Kara: Hinata. She got to do some awesome stuff, granted, but I'm so tired of her one line being "Naruto-kun..." I mean I know how they end up, and it's kind of a gateway spoiler for even knowing what Boruto is about. But considering her capabilities, it's a little annoying to see her constantly fall into the role of Girl Who Likes Naruto instead of that being, you know, just one of her things. Because it's okay to have a crush on a boy. It's okay to have an embarrassing crush on a boy. It happens. But I'd love that to be an aspect instead of a good chunk of her identity.

  Kevin: Tenten, absolutely. She's a bit of an obvious choice, since most people know the joke about how little screen time she gets, but her abilities are legitimately interesting and could be extremely versatile, she's just not given any time to show off her prowess.

  Carolyn: S A K U R A

  Jared: Basically any of the girls. I don't know if the last bit with Ino was an actual tie-in to what happens in Shippuden, but to have her just do the same thing as Sakura really feels like a "hey we have no clue what to do with you" type moment.

    Noelle: We all know that Kishimoto is really not good at writing women, but it just stands out so, so much with Sakura. She has a couple of moments and that's it, versus Naruto and Sasuke who are consistent all throughout. Give her something to do, it's not that hard. Please.

Paul: My first instinct is to say Kakashi, but I'll echo the others and say Sakura, and I'll add a little Hinata into the mix. I'd like to see them given a chance to shine, too. Sakura and Hinata have had a few iconic moments, but not to the same degree as Neji, Choji, and Kiba, who not only got dramatic death scenes but also got to survive their heroic sacrifices by pure plot fiat.

Danni: As much as I missed Kakashi in all this filler, I'm gonna have to go with Sakura as well. Despite being one of the three main characters, she's done next to nothing at all. Her main roles have been victim and healer, which are some really disappointing tropes to fall into when writing a female character.

David: It feels weird to say this since everyone including me loves him, but Rock Lee actually? After his big moment he gets relegated to a hospital bed with no discernible improvements made until suddenly he's ok now, I guess. I wish that were handled a little more gracefully.

Have any favorite moments from the series? Favorite fight scenes? Favorite quotes? What sticks out to you as the curtain (momentarily) closes on Naruto and His Amazing Friends?

Joseph: I miss the tournament arcs during exams. Those were really fun, and it was always exciting to see who would emerge victorious and how the animators would handle it. For sheer animated splendor, though, I have to go with the battles during the whole attack on Konohagakure village.

  Kara: As messed up as their individual stories can be (especially Jiraiya), I really love the older generation. I like the feeling - not just the feeling, the fact - that the story didn't just magically begin with Naruto, and that there are several levels of information we're still unpacking. My favorite moments tended to touch on those multigenerational elements in some way.

  Kevin: If I had to pick a single high point in the series, something that would be an exemplar of how good Naruto can be when it isn't bogged down by endless filler, I would probably go with Naruto's Rasengan training into the Kabuto fight. It shows off Naruto's dedication, ingenuity, and willingness to put himself in harm's way in a fight to save those he cares about, and also opens up the world more by revealing some of the history of the Leaf. It's not quite as emotional as some of the character deaths, like Zabuza and Haku or the Third Hokage, but it showcases some of the best aspects of the show in quick succession.

  Carolyn: I think I'll always be partial to Rock Lee training outside the hospital. He's such a good boy.

  Jared: I came into this knowing relatively little about the series and leave knowing that Rock Lee is the best boy. That fight against Gaara is just something else, even if that was one of things things I actually knew coming in. When this show is good, it's amazing, which is kinda hard to remember when you're locked in filler jail.

  Noelle: I think overall, my impressions stayed fairly consistent from when I first watched it to now. I think I definitely enjoyed the Chunin arc more, since I thought it dragged when I was young, and I really appreciate Rock Lee. I can't believe I used to think Rock Lee was annoying, this kid rules.

  Paul: My favorite moment is still the scene where, while training with Sakura and Sasuke under Kakashi, Naruto gets caught in a rope trap, escapes from it, then immediately gets caught in another rope trap. Another scene that really stuck with me was when Naruto and Sasuke teamed up against Zabuza and together they hide Naruto (disguised as a shuriken) in the shadow of another shuriken. Finally, a phrase that stuck with me is: "A ninja is one who endures." That phrase is the thesis statement for what defines heroes and villains in the world of Naruto.

      Danni: The battle between Naruto and Sasuke in the Final Valley, for sure. Their relationship is the backbone of the entire show in my opinion, and that fight was an incredible turning point and moment of understanding between them. It also just looked really freaking cool.

  David: The scene where Sakura tries one last time to stop Sasuke from leaving. It's sort of understated but there is a lot of emotional complexity going on there, down to her 'confession' hail mary that is completely ineffective. The show isn't usually great at writing women, or even emotions in general that aren't loud and clear, but that's definitely a place it got things right and sticks out to me even now.

I want you to sum up your experience with Naruto in three words.

Joseph: Always Craving Ramen.

  Kara: My Queen Tsunade.

  Kevin: Ninja wizard president.

  Carolyn: I like Naruto?

  Jared: So much ramen.

  Noelle: Power of friendship.

Paul: Not Kid's Stuff.

Danni: Only just beginning.

David: Please less filler.

    What advice would you give to someone that hasn't watched Naruto but plans to try?

    Joseph: Don't be stubborn. Listen to what longtime fans say about the filler and don't bother with it. Don't feel the need to absorb every bad episode and just follow the main story through both this and Shippuden. Failing that, read the manga.

  Kara: I know the main advice is "seriously, skip the filler," but my friend circles are made up of a lot of completionists and telling them to skip it would just make them watch it harder. So whatever. Honestly, even without the filler, Naruto has highs and lows. So I guess I'd say don't expect all 220 episodes to be fried gold, but enjoy it as a chill watch and just appreciate when those really solid stories come along.

  Kevin: If they already want to start, my advice would be to binge the first season to get to the Zabuza arc. The earliest stuff is important, but not necessarily the most interesting. If I need to show them something to convince them to watch, then I'd probably recommend the Chunin Exams. Some of the details might be confusing, but it's some of the best self-contained storytelling in the show.

My general advice is honestly to go back and keep pace with the Rewatch if you want to watch the entire show. There are over 200 episodes, around half being filler, so you're not going to watch the entire show over a weekend. The Rewatch keeps a brisk pace that gets through all of the less interesting bits without going so quickly that you accidentally skip the emotional resonance of the better arcs. If they just want to watch those better arcs and skip the likes of Filler Jail, then watch from around the Genin Exam or Land of Waves arc to episode 130 or so (it'll be obvious when the filler starts).

  Carolyn: Yeah, skip the filler. Watch until Sasuke leaves and call it a day.

  Jared: You don't have to watch all of the filler. There's certainly a few arcs that if you wanted to check out as a buffer for Shippuden that would be fine, but going through it all isn't necessary. Although if you're liking things and get to the filler and want to keep going, who am I to stop you? I'm not your dad.

  Noelle: It's a lot less compact compared to more modern shonen, but it's still got plenty of substance. Naruto, at the end of the day, is a good kid that's worth rooting for. Also, skip the filler, you won't miss anything.

  Paul: When you're going through Filler Hell, keep going. A ninja is one who endures.

  Danni: Just skip the filler. I'm saying this as someone who endured all of Dragon Ball without giving in to everyone telling me to skip certain batches of episodes. Skip the filler.

  David: Don't watch too much at once! This show doesn't exactly have a reputation for solid emotional or thematic setpieces but I think that's because there is so much content people lose the details, so watch a little at a time and let it sit with you.

    And before we depart from our journey, we have a question from a reader:

  "What were some of your favorite Opening and Ending Theme Songs (or intros and outros, respectively)? Are there any bands/groups/artists you are now a fan of, but weren't previously, because their work was featured in Naruto?"

Kara: "GO!!!" by FLOW is absolutely my favorite opening. I envy everyone who gets to see them live at Crunchyroll Expo this year!  As for endings, "Yellow Moon" by Akeboshi really hits me. I also liked "Wind," but this is the one that sent me looking for more music by him. "Parade" by CHABA is a close second, but that's mostly because it sounds like it's by The Killers.

  Joe: I'm gonna go classic with Far Away as my favorite OP, and Wind as my favorite ED.

  Noelle: Far Away is probably my top fave op because of how absolutely rad it is, but I'll be lying if GO!!! isn't the first thing I think of when I think of Naruto openings (fighting dreamers!). I'm also feeling Wind for my favorite ed, because it's very touching, but it's also so radically different compared to the rest of the endings? A top fave.

  Jared: "GO!!!" and "Wind" are definitely top tier when it comes to openings and endings. I also actually went and purchased "Far Away" and "Pinocchio" so those would be up there too.

  Kevin: Interesting that someone asked this actually. Since we're nearing Shippuden, I've been occasionally listening to all of the Shippuden themes together, and it is quite an experience to go through 500 episodes of content in a half an hour via song.

  To the actual question, for openings my favorites are probable Far Away and GO!!!. Between the two, I'd probably have to go with Far Away as my favorite, because while I didn't know the artist when I first heard the song as a kid, it technically introduced me to Asian Kung-Fu Generation, and I don't think I've heard a song of theirs yet that I don't like.

  For endings, to be honest I had to go back and relisten to literally all of the Naruto endings, because I seriously don't remember any of them. As a result, I guess the first ending, Wind, wins by default since it is the only one that I've actively sought out and listened to outside of the show. That being said, I actually found that I liked Mountain-A-Go Go-Two and Speed much more than I thought I would.

  David: I really couldn't believe how good Wind is as it had somehow left my mind but now it's my favorite ED in original Naruto by far. GO!! is unsurprisingly my choice for OP both because it is very good and how much it represents the feeling of watching Naruto in general.

  COUNTERS:

Week Ramen: 2 bowls Hokage: 0 Clones: 0

Total Ramen: 210 bowls, 20 cups Hokage: 62 Clones: 940

And that's all for the GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH. Once again, thank you for joining us and we hope you'll accompany our merry team on our next adventure!

CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH!

Episodes 211-217: Nearing The Finish Line

Episodes 204-210: Escort Mission Time

Episodes 197-203: Solving a Mystery

Episodes 190-196: Matchmaking Gone Wrong

Episodes 183-189: No Laughter Allowed!

Episodes 176-182: Reach for the Stars!

Episodes 169-175: Anko’s Backstory At Sea

Episodes 162-168: The Tale of the Phantom Samurai

Episodes 155-161: Quickfire Curry

Episodes 148-154: The Forest is Abuzz With Ninjas

Episodes 141-147: Mizuki Strikes Back!

Episodes 134-140: The Climactic Clash

Episodes 127-133: Naruto vs Sasuke

Episodes 120-126: The Sand Siblings Return

Episodes 113-119: Operation Rescue Sasuke

Episodes 106-112: Sasuke Goes Rogue

Episodes 99-105: Trouble in the Land of Tea

Episodes 92-98: Clash of the Sannin

Episodes 85-91: A Life-Changing Decision

Episodes 78-84: The Fall of a Legend

Episodes 71-77: Sands of Sorrow

Episodes 64-70: Crashing the Chunin Exam

Episodes 57-63: Family Feud

Episodes 50-56: Rock Lee Rally

Episodes 43-49: The Gate

Episodes 36-42: Through the Woods

Episodes 29-35: Sakura Unleashed

Episodes 22-28: Chunin Exams Kickoff

Episodes 15-21: Leaving the Land of Waves

Episodes 8-14: Beginners' Battle

Episodes 1-7: I'm Gonna Be the Hokage!

Have anything to say about our thoughts on Episodes 218-220? Let us know in the comments! 

------------------------

Daniel Dockery is a writer and editor for Crunchyroll. You should follow him on Twitter!

    Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[fapangel]

So then, I was thinking. I know you are skeptical of the Norks being able to aim their nuked armed missiles at us. But what if their goal isn't to just Nuke a major city or two, but pop a couple of EMP bursts across the majority of the U.S. and wreck our power grid? It would take months, if not years to restore the power, and the computers systems that would be fried would take years more to replace. That alone would result in FAR more dead and chaos than just wiping a city or two away.

“OH TEH NOEZ EEE EM PEE” is one of those intricately complex issues of national infrastructure, nuclear/electromagnetic physics, weapon design and international game theory that requires a real thorough, in-depth approach by people who know what the hell they’re talking about to untangle. Naturally this means there’s infinite space for the fear-mongering media and moronic reporters racing a deadline to pick and choose their narrative. The people downplaying the hype (the Daily Mail and Popular Mechanics, if you can believe it,) and the ones pushing the panic are only telling parts of the truth, so sadly you’re stuck with me to explain what the hell’s going on. 

There’s Two Kinds of EMP

EMP produced by a nuclear blast takes two very different forms, with each one wreaking a very different kind of havoc. To understand them we need to understand how a nuclear bomb produces an EMP. 

When a nuke goes off, it generates a ton of gamma rays. When these hit the atmosphere, they strip electrons from atoms in air molecules (the “Compton Effect”) which generates the electro-magnetic pulse. The initial gamma-ray burst from a nuclear weapon happens fast - one microsecond, or so - which means that the resulting EMP pulse also happens fast - and it is very energetic. This powerful and brief magnetic field induces current in conductors as it propagates outward, introducing power surges in electronics far faster than most circuitry’s clamping or surge protection devices can respond. Worse, it induces the current directly in the conductors (wires) rather than entering through a single point, like an incoming power line (which is where most surge protection is focused, for obvious reasons.) This is the EMP we usually think about - the “zap, you’re fried” kind.

But this isn’t the end of the pulse - not by a long shot: 

EMP pulses are divided into three discrete phases by the scientific literature - E1, E2, and E3. Note the exponents on the “Time” axis - the initial gamma-ray pumped EMP burst takes a microsecond or so, but the E3 phase can last hundreds of seconds - possibly as long as five minutes. This is because it’s an entirely different beast.

Unlike the “E1″ EM pulse, which is triggered by the gamma rays released by the bomb, it’s the actual blast/fireball effects of the bomb going off that cause the second, much longer effects. The detonation of the bomb displaces a huge chunk of the Earth’s (now-ionized) atmosphere. When that air comes crashing back in, it creates a magetohydrodynamic effect. Magneto-hydrodynamics are infamously complex shit, but it boils down to the movement and interaction of fluid mediums having electromagnetic effects. In this case, the atmosphere is the fluid. The exact mechanisms of the effects are pretty gnarly (here’s the paper if you want to read it yourself) but the upshot is, an exo-atmospheric (high-altitude) nuclear bomb blast produces effects quite like when a Coronal Mass Ejection sends a big gob of the Sun’s atmosphere crashing into the Earth’s atmosphere - in other words, a “geomagnetic storm.” This creates an electromagnetic field of its own, but unlike the fast, violently powerful pulse of the E1, it generates radiation of much longer wavelengths, which induce current in much longer conductors - i.e. power lines. We were hit with a really powerful geomagnetic storm in 1859, which induced so much current in telegraph lines that operators unhooked their batteries to lower the current to acceptable levels. 

These effects matter because they propagate quite differently, and because different bombs produce these effects in wildly different quantities. The E1 effects, the nigh-instant “pulse,” is deflected sideways when it hits the Earth’s own magnetic field - causing it to spread laterally across the Earth’s surface, and covering a lot more area than it would if it just expanded outwards as a sphere from the bomb’s detonation point. Worse, the EMP effect is generated mostly by the gamma ray output of a bomb - but most of the blast effects of a bomb come from the x-rays (which are readily absorbed by the atmosphere and produce the heat-blast shockwave that does all the damage,) so bombs are typically optimized to produce lots of x-rays. In other words, the kiloton yield of a bomb has little to do with the possible EMP effect it can have, and even a small bomb, like the 10-20 kiloton boosted fission devices the North Koreans are presumed to have, can produce a sizable EMP effect. So with just a small-yield device, the North Koreans can indeed hit a sizable part of the Continental United States (CONUS) with an E1 EMP effect caused by a high-altitude burst. 

The E3 “geomagnetic storm” works - and propagates - much differently. Since it’s caused by the stirring about of the Earth’s atmosphere by a blast, the yield of a bomb is directly proportional to the strength of the E3 EMP effects. The bigger the fireball, the bigger the effect - and moreover, the lower the altitude, the bigger the effect, as it’s displacing more air... or something like that. 

The consequences here are that the North Koreans cannot induce a very strong E3 effect across the entire country, as their bombs are far too low-yield to do so. 

Now I’d prefer to get more in-depth and explore which kind of attack produces higher destructive field energies given a set input (i.e. a probable 20kt yield boosted fission device of the type the North Koreans likely have,) and out to what ranges, given a low-altitude versus high-altitude burst, but I don’t understand the science at play here nearly well enough to make calls on that. Furthermore, the energy threshold that determines “destructive” varies widely depending on whatever device is being affected, so making comparisons in that fashion is challenging to begin with.

The best approach, then, is to analyze what kind of damage the E1-optimized attack the North Koreans can pull off will do, as opposed to the E3-optimized attack that they cannot. 

So what do they do? 

Simply put, the E1 phase of an EMP tends to blow out computers and microelectronic, while the E3 phase tends to destroy the national power grid. The latter is far, far worse.  

For the actual effects I’ll be relying on my two primary sources for this post; two excellent studies commissioned by the government from the clever lads at Oak Ridge Laboratories. This one concerns the E1 effects, and this one concerns the E3 effects. They used the results of actual EMP and/or power surge tests on various hardware and electronics, so we’ve some actual empirical data to work with, too. 

The E1 pulse is high-powered and high-frequency, which means it affects small devices the most - the small wavelength means it can induce current effectively in relatively short conductors. The antenna in your cell phone is more than long enough, for instance. Worse, long cables (like Ethernet lines) also make these devices vulnerable, because while the high-frequency burst won’t induce current as effectively in longer conductors, the pulse is generating tens of thousands of volts - and it’s hitting computer circuits designed for a few volts. Thus Ethernet lines et al can expose any given computer to a lot more induced current than it might’ve picked up from its own internal conductors; it increases the “attack surface,” so to speak. This applies in a wider sense - small devices like wristwatches are unlikely to be affected at all, whereas a big office building’s entire computer network is likely in deep shit. As the report notes, it’s nigh impossible to model how any one electronic device - an IC, a smartphone, whatever - will fail, because they’re such complex pieces of engineering with so many tiny sub-component chips and connections in them. Empirical testing is mandatory to get even a crude idea of the vulnerability, but that requires actually generating an EMP field to try frying things with - meaning there’s no good way to actually test big devices, much less entire building-sized computer networks! This naturally makes estimating the damage from any one EMP almost impossible - and this is before we consider the possible consequences of system upsets, i.e. a temporary error introduced by scrambled 1s and 0s induced by a power surge that doesn’t actually do damage. Corrupted data on tape drives, a system that hiccups for a moment, etc. In some industrial equipment such a bug could cause actual physical damage, and in other places you might just have to reboot your computer and go on your merry way. 

I’ll go off on my own, then, and point out that while all the above looks pretty grim for your average smartphone or desktop PC, that’s far from a universal truth. The E1 EMP would have to propagate just like any other field, which means the location - and even the orientation relative to the blast’s source - of the EMP would drastically effect how hard any given system or network is hit. Your average wage-slave workstation will fare poorly, but my gaming rig - built into a hulking metal Cooler Master case with enough fans that it can damn near hover - might fare better. Unless said workstation is inside a massive skyscraper office building, with tons of structural steel, piping, and power cabling helping to form a faraday cage around the entire interior space, as well as high-quality, fast-acting anti-surge protection in the basement. In fact, the city that building is in can affect the currents generated as well, either diminishing or intensifying them. 

What won’t be badly affected by the E1 pulse is the nation’s electrical grid - or the nation’s cars. Cars are basically rolling faraday cages, and there’s been actual empirical testing of relatively modern cars with high reliance on internal computer micro-controllers (in 2008) that showed most of them weathered high-power EMP fairly well. There are real risks to the computer controls of our power grid, and the study is up-front about them - but the important thing is that the actual heavy-duty switching equipment tends to be far more robust, and despite ongoing modernization, a lot of it’s still very rugged electro-mechanical “dumb” systems. An E1 pulse could definitely cause serious blackouts, with results much like what we saw during the great East Coast Blackout - rioting, looting, etc. - but a concerted effort could have the damage being repaired, and power flowing again, relatively quickly. 

Lots of computers will fry, but the power grid will survive, and so will our cars. The data and productivity loss (from non-operable gas stations, etc.,) will hit our economy hard, but the crucial point is that the damage to our crucial infrastructure will be limited to the most delicate parts of the control systems - in other words, highly centralized. This will make it much, much easier to repair. The potential data loss will probably be more devastating to the national economy with its impact on business, because that’s more irreparable and more permanent, depending on the scale and strength of the attack. However, some companies will come through much better than others (GO TO THE NUCLEAR CLOUD LOL TAPE BACKUPS IN THE BASEMENT 4 EVAH), the economy would rebalance and in the end, it’d be something we could weather and recover from. And remember, this is the worst-case scenario, and even the experts have spoken to how impossible it is to really quantify the potential damage from this kind of EMP. The essential point is our cars would keep rolling, our power would stay on, and the essential backbone of our civilization’s infrastructure would stay intact. No doom, no gloom, no “90% of the country dying of famine and disease,” no leather-and-metal clad post-apocalyptic biker gangs. 

The E3 effects are much, much worse, however, because the lower-frequency EM radiation is much harder to shield against, and induces current quite well in our national web of high-tension power lines. Worse, it induces Direct Current, in a system that’s designed for Alternating Current. Since our national power grid is a much more limited and quantifiable system than “every computer thing in the US,” the Oak Ridge Lab was able to do a rather more comprehensive analysis of the potential damage. The long and short of it is, the induced DC currents in the power lines don’t damage control systems - they damage the transformers and switching equipment, the heavy, expensive, elaborate guts of the power network itself. As the study says, this damage could take YEARS to repair. If an attack utilizing multiple higher-yield bombs - targeted to detonate over the most crucial parts of the US power network - were to be made, it could stand a very good chance of plunging the United States into a literal and figurative dark age. Then you can talk about societal collapse and Mad Max scenarios. 

In Conclusion 

It’s very, very hard to impossible to properly quantify the effects of EMP bursts - even moreso because a great deal of the related research is extremely highly classified and locked away in government archives for obvious reasons. But what we can infer pretty directly is that the truly devastating kind of EMP is the E3 effects that require fairly large-yield bombs to induce to any great degree, exactly the kind of bombs the North Koreans do not have. There’s been some baseless bullshitting about the North Koreans getting their hands on “super-EMP” bomb designs, but even if they somehow got their hands on some of the Soviet Union’s most closely-kept theoretical weapons research, you have to crawl before you can run - and they’re currently laboring on perfecting simple boosted-fission devices. 

However, as people have been saying for years now, all of this is only a matter of time. The North Koreans are rumored to already be working in hydrogen bombs - and those would give them the high-yield weapons needed for the truly devastating kind of EMP attack detailed above. 

Currently, the only defense the CONUS has is the Ground-Based Interceptors, previously known as Ground-Based Midcourse Intercept - an ABM program funded and championed by Bush, and later cut down and hamstrung by Obama. It’s because of Bush’s foresight years ago that we have even that scant defense. We are out of time - we need to decide, now, if we’re going to invest untold billions into an expanded missile defense system that might be enough to hold off North Korea’s future attack capabilities, EMPs included - or if we need to take our last chance to end these crazy bastards now, before they end us. 

[schoolandgames]

Reflective Design - Week 4

During this week, we took a look at story in video games and games as art. The exploration of story in video games was really interesting. Some of the exploration of story in video games focused on some basic story structures including the “three-act” structure and Joseph Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey” which consists of five distinct parts. I really enjoyed going over this in this class. Although I was already familiar with both of these structures, I really liked that we explored some basic fiction writing subjects.

We also explored the different types of stories in games such as linear stories, branching stories, thematic setups, etc. From the ones covered in the textbook, I think that I probably prefer linear stories the best. Maybe that is just because that is what I am more comfortable with since movies and most books play out in a similar way. I just feel like I have never played a game with a branching story that was both well written and made me feel like my choices were actually meaningful. However, I have played some (not many) games that were really well written and were able to carry strong themes and character arcs along with the story because the story was linear. Branching stories often muddle up any themes the story is trying to traffic since it’s difficult to deliver strong themes when you have to worry about all the different paths the story could take. Having said that, it is also pretty easy to mess up linear storytelling in video games. Games that tell their story exclusively through cutscenes tend to be pretty boring. Also, games that try to be too much like movies tend to not deliver very good stories (because writing in video games tends to not be very good) and completely fail as video games by delivering subpar or repetitive gameplay for the service of a bad story (looking at you David Cage). 

There were many other things that we explored concerning story in video games, but I think the most important thing we covered was to consider game mechanics in storytelling. Video games are an interactive medium, so using game mechanics for storytelling is something that only games can do. So, instead of trying to be like movies, game writers should really take advantage of this whole other dimension to tell their stories. In a similar way, film uses its unique attribute of visuals (when compared to books) to tell a story and deliver literary elements to an audience. Personally, I believe the best movies are not necessarily the one with the best stories (although a good script is obviously very important) but rather the ones that take advantage of what makes film a special medium and use cinematography, framing, visuals, and soundtrack to tell their story effectively. The best video games (or the best video game stories) are those that take advantage of the interactivity of video games, although to be honest I have not played many games like these myself. Which is why I feel that I cannot write this post without mentioning Red Dead Redemption 2.

I am sorry, but this game has been in my head for the last 4 months and I simply cannot stop myself from writing about it here. First of all, the game is brilliantly written. The story, the themes, the characters and the world itself completely succeed on account of the game’s amazing writing. The strength of the characters and the bond you form with them was something very similar to what one might experience while reading a book. However, the game shines because of the fact that you can interact with these characters. Going to camp and speaking to everyone and watching everyone go about their daily life completely immerses the player and makes the player feel invested on the story and the world at all times since you are always interacting with it. Although this mechanic of being able to speak to every NPC is very basic, coupled with the amazing writing, it creates a really strong storytelling experience. Furthermore, the game also has many other mechanics that help the player feel immersed and makes the whole experience feel uniquely personal. The horse-bonding mechanic for example is brilliant. Although it is only a mechanic that allows the player to gain additional perks and abilities when riding on a horse, you still literally bond with your horse. You start taking care of it, not because you have to but because you actually care. This transforms your horse into an actual companion in your adventures rather than just a means of transportation. Being able to personalize your weapons, and having to take care of them also creates a personal bond with everything on you arsenal. The game’s health mechanic is used brilliantly at a certain point in the game. Finally, the whole camp contribution mechanic is really good too. You don’t really get anything in return for contributing to the camp, since most upgrades are cosmetic and not contributing money or food does not actually have any repercussions. However, you still contribute because you don’t want your family to go hungry. All of these mechanics help create a really personal, story-driven experience (this is my home, this is my horse, these are my guns, this is my family). These mechanics also help set the game’s tone. I have never played a game with such a mature tone to it. I don’t mean “mature” because of anything to do with the subject matter, but rather with the pacing and mood of the game. I would compare it to something like “There Will Be Blood” or “No Country for Old Men” in regards to its pace and mood. This is very rare for any game to do, and it was also specially surprising coming from Rockstar Games. I could keep writing about this game forever, but I’ll stop here to keep this post to a reasonable length.

We also slightly covered game as an art form. I would definitely consider a lot of games to be art, but not all. Similarly, I would not consider all movies to be art either.I think games and movies are in a pretty special place where they are a combination of business and art. Consequently, some games and movies are closer to being products than actual art. However, in both instances there are obvious examples of artistic endeavors and of projects that lean more toward the artistic side rather than to the business side. The whole idea of video games not being art, seems kind of silly to me. I can understand the argument coming from someone with no personal experience with video games. However, being able to interact with something is not at all the same as fundamentally changing something to the point of changing the artist’s intent and removing authorship. We also touched on games with an agenda and art games. I can completely understand why some people might be bothered by certain subjects being portrayed in video games. I have to admit that Super Columbine Massacre actually rubbed me the wrong way, even as a gamer. I think it’s because portraying these topics in video games seems like the subjects are not being treated seriously.  However, this feeling really showcases the general attitude towards video games as not being art.  If there are movies and books that deal with difficult topics, then games should also be able to explore these topics in an artistic way.  This takes me to this week’s assignment: reviewing a serious game. 

For this assignment, I decided to play and write a review on “Syrian Journey: choose your own escape route”. This assignment was really fun, and I really enjoyed playing this game and writing a review for it. The game is about the Syrian refugee crisis affecting Europe and the Middle East and I thought it was a great tool to make players understand the struggle refugees go through abandoning their homes and escaping to Europe. I will include my review here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AsOoJ6wMWZstsVhiWYJwp_nSzoy31WeR/view?usp=sharing where I go more in depth about the game. 

That was pretty much everything for the week. I am having a lot of fun with this course and I am really looking forward to what else it has to offer. Here are my notes for this week’s meeting: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wpNDoA8bnQyJTtyD0olx4bPVacmL1lTJ/view?usp=sharing

[alexteltevskiy]

Vintage camera mini review - Argus C3 w/ 50mm f/3.5

There's something special about using old film cameras from days long gone. Maybe it's the thought that the camera being used has real history behind it, having taken untold legions of exposures in the decades since it was assembled, passing hands of maybe two, three generations of users. Or maybe it's the easily traceable evolution of human engineering thought and craft, where each successive decade of camera technology brought with it new tricks, affecting the way it looks, feels, functions as well as the the style, the character, the soul of the camera...

I have owned a number of film cameras from different time periods, always on the lookout for something new to eat through rolls of photosensitive polyester. Araki once said that in order to change your photos, you need to change cameras. I'm a firm believer in this, and lucky for me and other like-minded photographers, there's around a century's worth of different cameras to saddle up and try to tame.

The story

At a friend's party I spied a couple of old cameras, tucked away in the far corners of a dusty bookshelf. One was a collapsible Kodak Tourist 6x9 which, unfortunately, had a few parts missing and couldn't be reanimated, and the other was a little brick-shaped art-deco-inspired 35mm camera - the Argus C3. Covered with thick layers of dust, it responded well to basic operation and had nothing missing. The camera would stick at all shutter speeds as well as require Hulk-like strength to change focus and aperture. The back wouldn't even stay shut. But the doctor had high hopes for the patient.

Having borrowed the Argus, I began the immersion process, surrounding myself with wikis and manuals. Made from 1939 till 1966 by Argus in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The camera was surprisingly entry level, designed in the late 30's. Saw use by photojournalists during WWII, even managed to snap some iconic shots from the front lines. In the later years it saw widespread use in many American homes, its affordability, ruggedness and repairability fueling its popularity. Even Jimmy Carter had one. But with the flood of inexpensive Japanese SLRs in the 60's, the archaic rangefinder design of the C3 phased it out into obscurity.

The Brick (as it was affectionately known) had a coupled rangefinder mechanism with a separate viewfinder. Focusing had to be done in one window, framing in another. Both finder windows were some of the smallest I've encountered - even smaller than in my Olympus Stylus Epic - which didn't lend to usability. The leaf shutter speeds went from 1/300 to 1/10 and included provisions for cable release and bulb. Winding the film was manual and separate from winding the shutter. The lens is, surprisingly, interchangeable, but required tools and minutes to change and an external finder for any other focal length than 50. The bare essentials were there, but literally nothing else.

This skeleton crew of camera functions was a contributing factor to its simplicity and ruggedness. The camera proved incredibly easy to disassemble and work on. The original lubrication had half-evaporated and half-turned-to-stone, but that was quickly remedied with a fresh coating. Play had developed over time in the gears, knobs and dials giving that bucket-full-of-bolts effect - but everything was tightened to spec with simple garden variety screwdrivers and wrenches. Very easy to see why the camera continues to work well even 61 years after it rolled off the production line - inside was a date stamped indicating a 1955 production year.

After everything was put together, the kid-on-Christmas-Eve syndrome took over and the decision was made to test the camera next day. Weather conditions were highly unfavorable for testing out an all-metal, f/3.5, all-manual camera from 1955. Nearly sub-zero (that's in Fahrenheit, folks) temps, hours of traffic and inches of snow separated us from our intended destination of Downtown Chicago. Mercury was dropping faster than the sun on the horizon as I hoped I could still feel the unfamiliar controls of the C3 through my thick winter gloves. Film of choice was Ilford Delta 3200, rated at 1600 to keep the grain from consuming the image. Original choice was Kodak Tri-X 400 to keep the entire package in the same era, but the mailman failed to deliver forcing the switch, which actually allowed me to shoot for much longer because the light got sucked out pretty quick with all the extra snow in the air.

The destination was chosen simply because there is no better fit to the form and function of this photographic relic and its place in history than Chicago's own iconic architecture, with its arcane pillars of weathered steel and iron, chiseled art-deco-esque bastions of concrete and slabs of modernist lines receding into infinity. Chicago's facade went through many styles and movements, fueled by advances in construction technology and architectural sciences. But its roots are still bare for the eye to see with the future layered over it. Much of the same applies to the C3.

I was joined on this trip by lovely fellow 43S-member Kris (wo)manning the A and B cams for our video review of the trip. Dodging snowflakes, she kept the video rolling while I was busy keeping a mental checklist of the 10+ steps I had to do before taking a single shot on the Argus. Plan was to try to score shots that would reveal the gritty limestone-laden angles of a city that originally inspired Batman's mobster-mastertown of Gotham. Segue through to Ohio Street to Michigan Avenue, make our way down to the Riverwalk and continue clicking all along Wacker Drive. Sneak peaks of the Water Tower, John Hancock, NBC and Tribune towers, as well as the transformers building (35 E. Wacker Dr.) and Merchandise Mart - all were on the snowed-over map that was increasingly harder to follow.

One of the reasons I like using medium format cameras is because you have less frames to worry about, allowing you to focus more on quality, than quantity. All of a sudden having 36 shots to work with sometimes feels like a burden on short, one-day trips. I actually found that fact comforting the first time using a new old camera, resurrected from the dead. Which leads me to mention some of the things I disliked while using it - first of which is ergonomics. Or rather lack of them. It takes very little time to figure out that this camera is not going to be comfortable to hold. Ironically it takes much longer to figure out how to hold the darn little brick in such a way as to not cover up any viewports or get the shutter finger jammed in the way of the shutter cock/release lever. When the shutter button is actuated, the cocking lever springs back, and if the finger is in the way, you get a very, very long exposure (if you know what I mean). At least some shots fell prey to this malice. The other biggest gripe I had with this camera is that everything is manual and separate, including the frame advance winder. Accustomed to using mainly 60s Japanese SLRs and up, where the shutter cock and frame advance are all in one lever - here it's actually three(!) separate mechanisms. One for the shutter cock, one for the frame wind, and one safety latch to allow the frame winder to wind. While probably the stuff of pink fluffy dreams for fans of multiple exposure photography, I was actually quite enfuriated at having to remember to do so much to accomplish something so simple - leading to multiple shots being overlayed one atop another. Did I also mention that I wasn't a fan of the brick-like shape and ergos? I did? Good, I'll mention it again, because it really is not made for human hands. Maybe for robot hands...

But it wouldn't be a proper camera review without mentioning some of the positives of this fully mechanical monster. And there are quite a few. Surprisingly they have more to do more with its flaws than anything else. The main reason I picked it up is because I really wanted to create some imagery that looked like it came from another time period. Anachronism is the name of the game for me when I use vintage gear and the included 50mm lens delivers in spades giving you that vintage "look". Supposedly coated, the effect is thankfully nowhere to be seen, with images full of silky-smooth, flat-as-LOG gradations of gray almost completely devoid of contrast. Due to a short focal flange distance the lens is surprisingly sharp in the center with minimal distortion, while its antiquated optical formula contributes copius amounts of vignetting that's present even when stopped down. All combined, makes shots look like newsreel footage from the past. Second positive is that just like any film camera, this one slows you down and lets you think more about the content. But where other film cameras are more of a moderately mindful experience, this one is hands-down almost ritualistic in the way it forces you to adhere to the craft. Almost nothing short of actually picking up an old 8x10 - complete with bellows, dark slide, curtain, ground glass and all - can compare. And third is, of course, the conversation starter effect. Just that day alone, three people approached me interested to find out more about the camera. Just not that many crazies like us out there any more, I guess...

All in all it was a wonderful experience, will be a sad day when I have to return the camera back to my friend. The Argus C3 is a great camera for very niche and very vintage-looking photos. Just treat the cons as pros and embrace the craft. Already looking forward to my next vintage camera to try out - have an old 4x5 from the 30's which I still have yet to fix...

PS: ending the review with a little poster I designed commemorating the trip ;)

[sattamatkalives]

What is satta Matka and how to get Satta Matka Result

Comparison between traditional brokers versus satta matka sites

Choosing the medium -- online or matka representative

Golden guidelines until you play

Chances Of Becoming A Kalyan Matka King -- Plenty Or None?

If you bet intelligently, you can acquire a fantastic amount, but find a fantastic number of sites for your sport. Read on the internet and discuss with the bookies for more information. In the conclusion, enjoy the sport!

Several websites have opened nowadays, each comprising an internet matka game. Finding a strictly reliable and honest agent is futile because it's almost like looking a needle in a haystack. Rather, choosing a website after due concerns provide more reliability. Factors included in, the type of gambling it offers to perform, the rewards and bonuses associated with the gaming amount, depositing methods, etc.. When confirmed about these factors, the road for playing wtih the satta matka fix jodi becomes apparent.

Then, there came an age of computers and internet, where the sport was revived and it has popularity in the online gambling world. Several websites featuring sattamatka game has established and bettors have located a great medium to enjoy. Though, gaming of any form is prohibited in India, this online game was in play for quite a while. People have gained variously by playing with this sport to the best of the own strengths.

Too accurate to survive, but extremely helpful -- Betting can bring some greed at the bundle, but don't succumb to this. When you do that, you may lose all of it. Greed in gambling is harmful.

[11:16, 08/06/2021] Shubham Bachane: What will be the simple basic notions about satta matka? You may even try an unbeatable tip that was SECRET until today. Follow these measures which I have explained in detail, understand it in-depth and then play Satta Matka Live . With this secret trick you will never-ever fail in the erratic Satta Matka game.

A brand new player should research the sites for pertinent information in addition to draw some hints from the website. In this game, a few tips are definitely helpful in devising a strategy to win.

Noting a slow gain in the players of Kalyan Matka, the speculations are rife about the chances of becoming the Matka king. While most are of the opinion that the sport, which is based on fortune varies from one individual to another, the others believe the game can be won and odds of winning huge are aplenty. However, we could surely this debate would take ages to have solved. However, there are just a few kalyan matka tips which play a significant role.

There are several aspects that differentiate the reliability between conventional brokers and satta matka sites.

Satta Matka is a sort of gambling game, which was set up by Ratan Khatri in the 70s and holds popularity till today. With technology coming over, this game got a facelift in the form of online betting. Obviously, the game's popularity took up, not just in Mumbai in which it had been set up, but also the whole of India. Individuals who betted got a good chunk of the amount earned from gambling and finally, it became widely famous. On the other hand, the bookies do counsel the bettors to not make it a habit, especially as it's a game of fortune and vulnerable to incur losses.

Don't gamble the entire -- Even top betting expert winners will inform you that don't invest the whole amount you have, rather go for a limited amount, probably half of what you're able to risk. This way you can enjoy another day, even in the event that you lose.

Ut, a cautious player can make most success out of this Satta Matka game if plays in a wise way with patience. Below are a few of the greatest tips which may assist the bettors or players.

Customer service -- A excellent customer support is always beneficial to the players. Since the websites put the matka results live, the need of seeing a matka agent personally is not in any way required. Moreover, there are agents that supply 24-hrs aid the playing customers for a satta draw or some match. The possibilities of winning become more positive than any relying on a conventional agent.

Playing Sattamatka -- The Game Of Digits & Luck

Can you believe that your fortune is too good or too bad? Or you have not attempted it at all? Well, for some folks, it functioned and for a few, it failed. Founded during the 60-70s, the game of Satta matka was popular amongst businessmen, who grew fond of gaming in this way and having a time to bring in money. But it suffered a downside when the law enforcement agencies attracted the bookies to justice, especially the gambling houses in which it was for drama.

These days are gone when the Matka representatives were hired to win a game. Online gambling offers a convenient way and free from fraud matka brokers. Earlier, one would request the matka representative for assistance and they would charge a hefty commission out of the wins. Some parts of India may be running offline matka games, but individuals have adapted the wise procedures to play with the game.

Winning it one way -- Using a 1 way strategy in the Sattamatka sport will help you win more often. Place minimal amount for bets and then in the event that you win, wager progressively by putting just a calculated portion of this winning amount at risk.

A participant is what a player does - Do not resort to the gambling way to bring in money, especially when you need it. As it's a game of chance, you should bet only when you are prepared to lose an amount. Refrain from participating when you need money.

Think winner and play pleasure -- Believe yourself as a winner and perform with a fun-filled attitude. Since these gambling games can wind up at anything, do not play aggressive when losing. Bear in mind that go to acquire a profit and not lose your own life within it.

Prepare a goal, reach it, exit -- In the match of Satta Matka, prepare a particular criteria, follow it, but if you achieve it at the sessions, depart after it. Do not push yourself winning every bout.

Privacy and safety -- Earlier, there were chances when fraud agents would exploit the advice of a participant for their own advantages, particularly in an illegal way, mostly causing identity thefts and frauds. However, with the matka result going online, the brokers don't stand a chance of manipulating information because the players need to register with the web site. They'll be given with password and username, which simplifies the content of this player without flouting any guidelines.

Read: Know all about What is satta matka and how to win satta matka

[drink-n-watch]

  Genre : Supernatural thriller, suspense, action, drama

Movie: 50 minutes

Studio: Ufotable

  This is a story of a lonely girl and a determined doll. It is not a very happy story but sometimes stories just go that way. It is a story about how pain and yearning can make monsters out if us before we can notice it at all. How simple wishes can curse those around you. It’s also a story about finding a way to fill the emptiness within us all. Sometimes you succeed for a little while a soar, sometimes you fail and do your best not to drown. At times this is a sad story but there’s also hope hiding in the shadows. What you get out of this story, will depend on you.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to describe a 50 minute movie without giving too much away. The problem here is slightly different. The Garden of Sinners: Thanatos plays out mostly in subtext so a plain description of events won’t give you much of an idea. I tried my best though.

well I tried…

First let’s get the logistics out of the way. You can watch Garden of Sinners on Crunchyroll, where it is presented as a 10 episode series. They are in fact 10 movies of varying lengths which is why I included the runtime in this review. So far I have only watched Thanatos (the first movie made) so I can’t tell you how closely related they are and if they are better watched all in a row. Binge watching 10 movies (some over 2h) is a bit much for me. I’ll get into it more later but the atmosphere and narrative style of this first movie also doesn’t seem suited for rapid successive consumption. I’m working on my vocabulary. Please let me know if I’m using words wrong as I’m going about it pretty randomly.

Visually Thanatos is interesting although a bit unpolished. It uses this technique that makes the edges look like very wet ink wash. I’m not sure how to explain it and unfortunately it doesn’t show much in the stills. It’s a bit as id the lines waver.

just take my word for it…

The action comes in bursts, and everything is quite still the rest of the time. Shiki’s (the main character) small movements, like walking or sitting down, look jittery but I’m sure it’s a choice.  On the other hand, action scenes are fluid and we’ll choreographed. Voice acting is wide ranging and varies from character to character with some pretty intense delivery choices but it fits with the writing…

Are you bored yet by this plain list of technical features? It’s quite dull isn’t it? There’s a reason for that. I’m trying to bury the lead here. I’ve always been quite bad at not immediately blurting out everything that’s on my mind.

I usually discuss the non narrative aspects of anime separately as a way of structuring my reviews. But here, it’s completely impractical. By far the most impressive element of The Garden of Sinners is the masterfully integrated visual storytelling. Maybe I’m reading too much into is, but from what I could overanalyze, every design, visual, animation and even sound choice made in the movie, contributed to the narrative.

don’t get me started on the light and shadows!

The story itself is a rather straightforward thriller with some supernatural elements. A string of sudden suicides rocks a small community and we catch up with a woman named Shiki that seems to want to stop the deaths. She believes there is something unearthly going on and she herself is more than meets the eye.

It’s presented in a very purposefully mysterious way. For instance, characters aren’t introduced. We don’t even know their names until we’ve seen them a few times. Their backgrounds and relationships to one another are never really established and you’re left to infer everything from conversations. It can be a touch destabilizing, but it was done well enough for me to follow along the course of events even though it left a lot open to interpretation.

Because of this, the characters could be considered underdeveloped. However, they are written in a way where the lack of information seems deliberate rather than bad writing. The same can be said for most of the events. There’s an ambiguity and a lack of context. At times I was reminded of Serial Experiments Lain, although The Garden of Sinners obviously doesn’t have the time to delve in too deep in its own mythology. Future movies may solve that.  

what’s with the eyes? I dunno…

It won’t be for everyone. The wrap up can feel unsatisfying since it really didn’t teach us all that much. If you’re not a fan of vague narratives, you may find this movie annoying. On top of that, the actual plot is not that special, for the little we know about it. I would describe it as Suicide Circle condensed in a single hour and devoid of both it’s extravagance and wry humour.

But visual integration in the storytelling made it all worth while for me. Let me give you an example. The story tackles deep themes of existential questioning, emptiness and suicide. The idea that a person just sort of floats along life until they find themselves confronted to circumstances where they must choose to either fly or fall. Those moments that make you confront your very sense of being. The plot is simply an allegory of the idea. Both the protagonist and antagonist spend the movie facing this question in their own way.

Beyond that though, everything else reinforces the structure of long dead stillness punctuated by explosion of violent existence. Like I touched on above, movement is extremely subdued for the most part, except in those pivotal scenes where it becomes frantic. Characters are often silent and a lot of scenes have no dialogue but the few conversations that happen are tense and deeply meaningful.

it must be such a pain finding the right remote

Visually, there are repeated cluster motifs. And empty sky with a flock of birds. A bare wall with half a dozen clocks arranged together. A cluttered room where the feature is a wall filled with tv sets for no obvious reason. Shiki’s apartment is almost completely bare, her fridge empty, but she visits Touko in a cluttered, almost hoarder like office. Streets are either almost completely empty or heavily crowded. It’s a repeated all or nothing notion that goes hand in hand with the larger themes.

Another, more immediate element is the outlines. For the most part, they’re those thick and wavy watered-down lines. It makes everything seem slightly unsubstantial and ill-defined. Once again, there’s this element of unbearable lightness. Like nothing is really quite there, like it could just flitter away at any moment. But whenever the action or tension ramps up, those lines sharpen into fine well-defined clear edges. Everything comes into sudden focus. It subconsciously grabs your attentions and tells you this is an important moment. It also has the practical side effect of making action a lot clearer and easier to follow.

something’s about to happen

The color palette is subtly but completely redefined just about every other scene and more direct color cues are thrown in. Shiki wears the same blue kimono every day, but she puts on a red jacket over it once she decides to settle the score.

No one has pupils. This isn’t mentioned at all and could be dismissed as a quirky design choice to make things more *dark*. But I believe it’s an illustration of the general idea that people are empty shells and it takes personal strength and courage to find something to fill them with. That one is responsible for creating their own soul, lest they find their sense of self float away.

For me, this movie shined through its insistence of using every possible tool of the anime medium to add to its narrative, even though the narrative itself was not that stellar. And for this alone, I am more than happy to see what the other movies have to offer. It won’t be for everyone, but if it’s for you, it has a unique appeal.

if you do, could you tell us?

Favorite character: Touko

What this anime taught me: Thanatos is a minor figure in Greek mythology and a personification of death. I guess Shinigami… However, I think the title refers to Freud’s theory that humans have a “death drive”. Basically, an odd instinct towards risk and self-destruction that fights with our survival instincts. He called this drive Thanatos.

If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a bar

Suggested drink: Floating Goddess

Every time we get a close up of anyone’s eyes – take a sip

Every time the color palette switches – take a sip

Every time we see a body – shiver

Every time we see a ghost – liquid courage

Every time Tuko smokes – take a deep breath

Every time we see a doll or doll parts – take a sip

Every time anyone says “flying” – take a sip

Every time we see the news – pay attention

Every time anyone says “suicide” – take a sip

Every time we see Shiki’s apartment – get some ice cream

the little sketch at the beginning was funny!

I’m disappointed by how much is lost in the screen caps. The actual anime is more impressive.

    The Garden of Sinners: Thanatos -The First Bloom   Genre : Supernatural thriller, suspense, action, drama Movie: 50 minutes Studio: Ufotable   This is a story of a lonely girl and a determined doll.

[rebeccahpedersen]

The Friday Rant: Has The World Lost Its Mind?

TorontoRealtyBlog

Folks, it’s been a while.

Maybe I’m mellowing as I get closer to obtaining true “middle-aged” status.

Or maybe I simply reached a point where nothing in the world of real estate fazes me anymore.

But here’s something new: there are buyers in the market that didn’t know the price of real estate could fluctuate, and now they’re upset.

This is the p-e-r-f-e-c-t time for me to revive a classic TRB feature, The Friday Rant…

I don’t understand the world today.

And while I know that sounds like something an old man says, I just really, truly seem to have lost touch with the world around me.

The Prime Minister of Canada.  Wow.  This guy!

Interrupts a young speaker at a town hall meeting, who had the audacity to say “mankind,” to tell her that “we,” whoever we are, prefer to use the term “people-kind,” since it’s more inclusive.

The pendulum has swung so far one way, that it’s about to break through the other side of the universe on the way back.

Sorry, but I don’t like Mr. Trudeau.  I think he’s of below-average intelligence, his low self-esteem, ego, and desire to be admired is at the forefront of every decision he makes on behalf of 33,000,000 people, and he has no experience, or ability, to lead.

This is a microcosm of where we’ve gone as a society, and while some think this is steering us in a better direction for peoplekind, I think it’s making us feeble, weak, and eventually we’ll all be incapable of self-care.

The public school systems have done away with “enriched” programs, such as the enriched English programs I took throughout high school that helped make me the writer I am today, so that “everybody can get an equal opportunity.”  So in the race to the bottom that has become public education, we’d now rather have a so-called “level playing field,” than ever see an advanced child flourish.

We don’t keep score in children’s sports games anymore.  Somebody might get upset to learn that in sports, as in life, there are winners and losers.

Cue the “December Seasonal Concert.”

Change the lyrics to “O Canada,” because it’s one of the worst things plaguing our country today.

Have we ever become softer as a society?

Many of you are already disagreeing, so I won’t go on, with countless more examples, and perhaps better ones, of where our municipal, provincial, and federal leaders have taken us.

But I fear it’s this “guidance” that has brought us to a point where most people in society today refuse to take any responsibility of their actions, especially when those actions are misguided, uninformed, or have consequence of any sort.

As it pertains to real estate, I’m seeing this more and more.

And how could it not transpire, with what we have inflicted upon ourselves?

Recall the story of the “Museum FLTS” condominium project in Toronto, which was cancelled back in November.

The newspapers picked up the story, and made martyrs of these poor souls who entered into legally-binding contracts with a developer who then exercised his right to terminate the project.  I wrote about it on my blog, and I was extra nice:

Another Pre-Construction Condo, Cancelled. Who Is To Blame?

And despite being told by many that I was too nice, I still received hate mail from people who bought into the project – many of them who were obviously well-versed enough in contract law to not spend the $3,000 on a lawyer that might have educated them on the pros and cons of the stack of paper that was thrust upon them by a salesperson, representing the developer.

Oh, the heat I took!  Wow!

I try to take the high road folks, I do.  And it took every ounce of strength I had not to share with you the self-pitying, naive, wishful-thinking emails I received from buyers into the project, who read my blog, and took issue.

You wouldn’t believe it, if you tried.

But as bad as that example of “not taking responsibility for your actions” truly was, I think we reached a new low point.

Some of you pointed this out last week, so I know I already have your ear.

“What did the neighbours pay? Whitby homebuyers just found out the answer: a lot less”

This story first appeared on the CBC website on January 24th, and to attempt to read it without shaking your head at least once is a fool’s errand.

The very first paragraph tells you all you need to know:

Planned homes in a new Whitby subdivision are on sale for up to $90,000 less than similar homes in the same development were a year ago.

Right.

Sooooo……….what’s the story?

A person who can tell time, tie their shoe, and breathe in-and-out, could probably ascertain that the price of real estate, believe it or not, can fluctuate.

Prices go up, prices go down.

Like the stock market, or spot gold.  Bonds, or treasury bills.  Corn futures, or Bitcoin…

But the story here, folks, is that some of the buyers who purchased real estate last year, and who saw the value decrease, are, well, upset.

“It’s painful,” Astrid Poei said in an interview. (from the article)

That’s fair.  Nobody is expecting this person not feel the sting of an on-paper loss, for a property not built, which in effect, doesn’t really mean anything.

“There are no building materials on site, there is no foundation poured, so I don’t understand how we are paying more than someone who bought a couple of weeks ago.” (from the article)

Here’s where things go off the rails a little bit.

The idea of there being “no building materials on site,” and “no foundation poured,” simply goes back to inexperience, and naivety.  It’s pre-construction; delays are automatic.  I’m not going to belabour this point.

But then somehow attaching the fact that the project hasn’t started building yet to the idea that “we’re paying more than somebody who bought a couple of weeks ago,” doesn’t make sense to me.

What’s the issue here?

That somebody who bought a couple of weeks ago paid less?

God help us, folks.

This is what we’ve done to ourselves, as a society.

By removing scores from children’s soccer games, automatically passing high school students who receive failing grades, and electing left-wing governments that promise everything to everyone, we’ve allowed people to believe that they can’t fail.

Failure is a reality in life.

And when you buy real estate, you should know that the price can go up, or down.

Again, from the article: “To come back a year later and see the same house that we bought is now $90,000 cheaper, that’s not cool,” Thompson, 52, said in an interview.

Not cool.

Is that an economic or legal phrase?

Imagine that, folks.  The audacity of a developer to sell properties for prices, as they see fit.

The irony is, if the properties were selling for more money, these people wouldn’t be complaining.

But then what about the second-phase of buyers?  Could they complain?

What if somebody said, “To come back a year later, and see the same house that this guy bought only 12 months ago is now $90,000 more, that’s not cool.”  Would we accept that?

And now, the kicker:

“…Poei and Thompson, who are not looking forward to meeting their Phase 2 neighbours, knowing they paid tens of thousands of dollars less for the same homes.”

Ain’t it the truth, folks?

I remember once when my best-friend of 22 years bought a set of Callaway irons for $750, for which I had paid $1,000 the previous year.  So I did what any normal person would do under those circumstances: I kicked his dog, and then never talked to that motherf*cker again…

I know, I know, I’ve said too much.

But guess what?

I’m far from finished…

The Toronto Star also picked up this story, for some odd reason, since I really don’t think it qualifies as news.

“Price drop crushes pre-construction home buyers’ dreams”

Important point here – I’m not faulting the writer.  I think she’s awesome, I’ve done a ton of stories with her, and as I’ve learned over the years – sometimes, the story picks you.

But it’s the quotes in here that really get me.

And even worse than the CBC article – this one shows not only the absolute disillusionment of the buyer, but also the complete and utter lack of qualification!

Mariam Boni was among the buyers caught up in Toronto’s scorching property market last January. She says she got an email from Mattamy when the first phase of the development was released. On the appointed date, she waited three hours in line to get a ticket to return to the sales centre the following day.

When she went back, there were only two lots still available and Boni ended up spending $899,000, plus additional money for upgrades, exceeding her target price of $500,000 to $600,000.

Although she owns a home already, she said Queen’s Common would be a better place to raise her son.

Wow.

A lot going on here…

So first, we have a woman that stood in line to get a ticket to buy a home.  Can you say, “mania?”  I hear Bitcoin came down from $20,000, btw…

Second, she spent $900,000, with a budget of $500,000 – $600,000.

And last but not least, she already owns a home.  This was a second property, and while she was probably going to sell the first one, it doesn’t remove the speculative nature of the adventure.

The woman added:

“I have a 3-year-old. I’m thinking about his future, I’m thinking this is a good investment. It’s going to go up in price, I’m going to do something nice for my child.”

Exactly!

You thought it was a good investment.  You thought it would go up in price.

You thought.

That’s it.

That’s all you need to know.

There’s no guarantee, nor should there be.  If the prices went up, as you thought, would the developer come back to you and cry foul?  Would Mattamy Homes go to the Toronto Star to describe the hurt and anguish they feel about selling properties that went up in price, when all the while, they could have held them and made more money?

The developer offered this explanation, which is like explaining to a child how boys and girls are different:

“When (the market) is moving upwards, we obviously raise our prices and when it’s moving downwards, in order to continue to sell and to build and complete the communities, we have to lower our prices to a price point the market will bear.”

Yes, when the market goes up, prices go up.  When the market goes down, prices go down.  What’s that, Marigold?  It’s half-past four?

I honestly can’t believe these stories went to print.

Our imaginations could run wild with the analogies.  In fact, some of last week’s readers already beat me to it.

So tell me I’m wrong, folks.

Tell me that these stories were newsworthy.

Tell me that the buyers in these articles have a legitimate beef.

Tell me that peoplekind should be able to buy real estate with absolutely no fear of the price dropping, but with the full expectation that the price will rise.

But do so in the comments below, because I have to leave; I need to go find something sweet.  This blog has left me really goddam salty…

The post The Friday Rant: Has The World Lost Its Mind? appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

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