#please ask us more crab questions

[crabmuseum]

why are horseshoe crabs still considered crabs even though they look nothing like a crab, have no pincers of any kind and they have a literal tail. Also are horseshoe crabs more related to a different crustacean than they are to crabs

Brilliant Question! Horseshoe crabs were originally believed to have been crabs until the 1950s, when it was discovered they were more related to spiders.

They do indeed have pincers, called chelicera, but they're the kind of pincers that spiders have just in front of their mouth rather than the claws of a true crab.

Crabs do also technically have tails! They're just very short and hidden under their abdomen. In female crabs this keeps their eggs safe. Their chests also happens to be where they poo from!

As a result of these sort-of similarities (and general human laziness to change things), they still have the common name 'Horseshoe Crab'. However, they aren't considered true crabs anymore, so they are technically frauds...

[describe-things]

This post is made with speech to text because my hand hurts from typing so much today. Please forgive any typos or speech to text swapping similar sounding words.

If you would like to start writing your own image descriptions, feel free to ask any questions.

The main things to keep in mind is that they should begin with some variation of image description start or ID, and end with some variation of image description and, and ID or something like that. This distinguish the image description from the caption or anything else.

Image descriptions should not be written in italics, bold, all caps, or any colors. If text in the image is in all caps, write it in regular case, and simply note before or after it that it's in all caps.

Image descriptions should describe all images in the post, without skipping any. This includes images that are nothing but text.

Plain text image descriptions in the body of the post are more accessible than alt text alone, because many people who need image descriptions cannot use alt text, and Tumblr is known for its glitches, so the accessibility of the alt text all by itself varies widely over time.

It is more accessible to have the image descriptions indented than not, because this helps to visually separate the image description from the caption. Having brackets or parentheses at the end is also helpful for this. This allows people to easily distinguish between the caption and the image description if they need to.

If you are an artist, writing image descriptions for your art will give you full control over the image description, and will allow you to correctly identify details that others might miss. This gives you the opportunity to show which parts of your art hold meaning to you and are important to notice.

If you are describing real people who are unknown to you, unless it is specified within the post or you are already aware, please do not assign any gendered terms to them, or any " male presenting or female presenting" terms like that. This is completely unnecessary and leads to misgendering. It is best to simply describe visible facts about the people. Hair color, length, clothes and style, pose, expression, the light or darkness of their skin, things like that. Do not assume that someone is white simply because they have light skin.

Do not use image descriptions to lie to the audience in any way and do not use image descriptions to make jokes where the audience reading the image description is the butt of the joke.

As an example, if there is a very clearly fake screenshot, do not say that it is simply a screenshot, or if a photo is very blatantly photoshopped, do not say that it is simply a photo. Say an edited photo, a badly edited photo, a screenshot with editing, something like that to indicate the changes have been made and then what you are going to be describing is not the natural version.

As an example, you would say a crab photoshopped to be driving a car. Rather than a photo of a crab driving a car.

Unless you are transcribing a text within the image, do not use meme speak within image descriptions. Do not refer to dogs as doggos for example, unless it is to specify that the dog in the image is, within the image, labeled as a doggo. Do not describe someone walking downstairs as breasted bubbly downstairs, even if it is an actor humorously walking down the stairs to imitate that sentence. Describe the facts of the movements, and then you can make the comparison for clarity.

If someone adds an image description to your post whether this be an original post or a reblog that you have added an image to, it doesn't matter how many notes to post already has, please copy and paste that image description into the original post or your original reblog. If it is a new post that has only a few notes from friends, after you update the original, you can just ask your friends to delete the reblogs of the inaccessible version and reblog the new one. Most people who are good people and care about disabled people will happily do so.

Keep in mind that image descriptions are accessibility tools. Treat them as such.

Anyone can write image descriptions. You do not need any special qualifications or training. As long as you are willing to take constructive criticism if you make a mistake, an image description written by someone who's new to it and honestly doing their best with good intentions is better than no image description at all.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some things, so please feel free to add on more tips and advice.

[flowersandbigteeth]

Meeting your Alpha in the King's Dungeon

A/N: This was someone's request, but I lost the request, so I'm sorry but here it is!

(Alpha) Riordan x GN Omega Reader

General Summary: You've been summoned to a magical world to soothe beast they call Alpha.

Word count: 6.5K

TW: cozy alpha/omega dynamic, kidnapping to another world, gentle alpha, mention of war and a small bit of violence, alpha/omega smut, nesting, knotting, and biting

You woke, your back cold. This wasn't you bed. You smelled something burning, maybe sage or thyme. It smelled herbal. 

“Open your eyes, pretty, I know you're awake,” a nasally voice said. 

Your eyes blinked open, and you squinted at the light. Sitting up, you found yourself in a well-lit room. It looked like a sort of lab with glass vessels filled with brightly colored liquids. Sunlight poured in the large windows. The glass was thick and uneven, making the world outside blurry. It had to be old and crudely cast to look like that. 

“Welcome to my world, little omega,” the voice said. 

You turned to see an old man in a purple robe, looking at you expectantly. He was rather short but had oddly long fingers. His face was gnarled with wrinkles, and his teeth were jagged and yellow as if they'd been broken. 

“Omega?” you murmured, trying to make sense of the place. 

You'd gone to bed as you did every night, yet you woke up here. Where was here? 

“Where am I?” You asked. 

“I'm sure you have many questions,” he chuckled, “but I don't care to answer them. You may not live long enough for it to matter, and I'm short on time.”

“What?” You gasped, instinctively hopping up, but your body was not yours. 

The old man waved a gnarled claw, and you rose off the stone slab where he’d laid you and drifted behind him through a heavy wooden door. 

“Hey, where the fuck am I? Who are you?” You snapped at him, wriggling, desperate to escape. 

It was no use; whatever…magic he'd used on you kept you bobbing aloft just behind him. As he descended steep stone steps, he mumbled to himself. 

“I'm sure I've gotten the signature right this time,’ he muttered. “The last specimen’s pheromones were muddled. Theirs is much more pure. It has to work.” 

He stopped at a heavy iron door with a guard beside it holding a pike. 

“Help me! This guy is kidnapping me!” you shouted to him.

The guard's eyes slid to you for a moment, and you detected the slightest bit of pity. 

“Open the damn door!” The old man snarled. “The king will have all our heads if this doesn't work!” 

The guard gave you another somber glance before finding a ring of keys on his waist and unlocking the door. 

You did not want to go into the dark, smelly place he was taking you, but you floated like a feather on the wind right after him. 

Around you, large shadows loomed behind thick bars. Red eyes peered at you from the gloom. It was quiet at first but then…whatever they were started beating at their cages, howling like beasts. You could only see flashes of sharp teeth and claws. Fear silenced you and you only let out a miserable whimper. 

“Ah, here we are,” he said, stopping at one cell. 

The creature inside roared his outrage at the sound of the old man’s voice. 

There was the sickening snap of wood, and what must have been a bunk came flying at the bars. 

“Now, now, Riordan,” he clucked. “I have a new toy for you to play with. Don't rip this one to bits this time, hmm? If this works, you'll see sunlight soon.” 

The old man, swifter than he looked, opened the gate and tossed you inside. You landed in a pile on the floor and heard the ominous click of the metal lock behind you. 

You crab-walked back towards the gate, terrified of what creature he’d trapped you with. Were you to be food? He'd stolen you from your bed just to feed this…thing?

In the dark, you could only see red eyes, glaring at you, set in a massive form. It must have been eight feet tall and two times the width of a linebacker. 

“Please, please,” you whimpered. “Don't eat me.” 

The creature parted its lips and you could make out massive, sharp teeth. Instead of pouncing on you, it lifted its nose, sniffing the air. 

Staring at it, petrified with fear and confusion, you watched its red eyes dim to a soft glowing green…like sunlight filtering through leaves in spring. They were…pretty. 

The creature took a heavy step forward, his wide feet emitting a deep thud. He seemed interested in you. 

“H-hey,” you stammered. “That's a good…whatever you are…I'm a friend, not food.” 

His eyes narrowed on you, and a large hand emerged from the shadows. You held your breath, ready to be torn apart, but he only patted your head, as if you were a kitten. 

“Fascinating!” The old man said. 

At his voice, the creature growled, then let out a loud roar that sounded more desperate than angry. You shrieked and jumped out of his way as he rushed the door, throwing his shoulder against the bars. A blue light flashed in front of you, and the creature flew back into the far wall, collapsing into a pile with a heavy thunk. 

“I think it's worked!” The old man muttered. “He hasn't torn the arms off of the specimen. Further observations are necessary, but I must report this to the King!” 

“Hey!” You shouted as he scurried away, careful not to touch the bars. “You can't leave me here!”

The old man ignored you, and with a slam, the heavy metal door swung shut behind him. 

Around you, other creatures growled in the darkness, pacing the length of their enclosures. Unsure what to do, you tiptoed towards the shadowy figure slumped against the far wall. 

“You okay, big guy?” You asked. “He didn't kill you, did he?” 

Even though the creature was terrifying, you felt for him. No wonder he was in a bad mood being locked up in a dark, smelly cage.  

He let out a low groan, and you extended a hand, brushing his hair. As your eyes adjusted to the dark, you could see he looked more human than monster. His teeth were far too large to be truly human, and the features of his face were too rugged, with harsh lines and a pronounced brow. Still, he wasn't ugly. He had an attractive cut to his jaw, and his hair, though it needed a brushing, was soft and maybe blond. It was hard to tell in the dark. 

A heavy hand grabbed your wrist, and you screamed, trying to yank your arm back. It was no use; he was too strong. Was this when he ripped your arm off? You braced for pain, but he only lifted his head and sniffed the inside of your wrist. 

“You…smell…amazing,” he said. 

His voice was low and rough, as if he hadn't used it in a long time. His eyes opened, and he looked up at you. They still glowed, but the red hadn't returned. 

“Y-you can talk?” You gasped. 

He let out a chuff devoid of humor. 

“I was human…once,” he said. “I can remember now. I used to talk a lot.” 

“If you're not human, what are you?” You asked. 

“An experiment,” he growled, squeezing your wrist. 

You whimpered, and he looked up at your hand, suddenly letting it go. He looked slightly ashamed. 

“I'm sorry, I,” he muttered. “I'm nothing but a monster now.” 

“Did that old man do this to you?” You asked. “Who is he?” 

He tipped his head back against the stone wall behind him. 

“The King's chief sorcerer,” he said. “He took us all from the army, injected us with Goddess know what, and we became like this.” 

He clutched his head. 

“I don't know how long it's been,” he moaned. “For so long, I could only see red, and then you came along.” 

His eyes focused on you. 

“I'm just a normal person,” you said. “I’m not sure what I could have done.” 

He leaned forward, burying his face in your chest. 

“Oh!” You squeaked. 

“Your scent,” he murmured. “the world becomes clear when I’m near you. You chase the red away.” 

His big arms circled you, and he pulled you into his lap, tucking his nose behind your ear. You felt the heat of his breath grazing your skin and shivered in his arms.  

“I like you here,” he murmured. “Well, not here…but with me.” 

“O-Oh,” you stammered. “Well, just your luck then, huh? Seems I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.” 

He let out another dry chuff. It was as if he'd forgotten how to laugh, but he was trying to remember. 

“Where are we?” You asked. “I went to bed somewhere else.” 

He hummed, thinking as he ran a heavy mitt over your head. 

“We must be in the South, near the Capital,” he said. 

“But where?” You asked. “I'm from Earth…(Y/C)? Heard of it?” 

He shook his head. 

“No, this is Swarin,” he said. “I've never heard of Earth or…(Y/C). Is it across the sea? Only pirates go that far.” 

“I don't think so,” you said. “The old asshole called me Omega. Do you know what that means?” 

At that, he nodded. 

“I don't really understand all the alchemy behind it,” he said in a low grumble. “But I'm an Alpha. A monster. And you…are soft and delicate, an Omega. We…are compatible…I think.” 

“Compatible?” you hummed. 

“The sorcerer has been looking for Omegas. There aren't any in Swarin. He's brought down samples…but they never did…what you do.” 

“What happened to them all? The samples?” You whispered. 

He let out a low groan. 

“I don't know, but I can guess,” he said. “I only remember screams…and blood.” 

His deep voice cracked. 

“What I did…” he sniffled. “What have I become? Why won't they destroy me?” 

He pressed you to him like a teddy bear, and you felt moisture on your neck where he'd tucked his head. 

Your heart raced, but you reached up and rubbed his cheek. 

“It's….it's okay,” you said. “That wasn't you. The old man, the sorcerer, did this…you have no control. When I first saw you, you were out of your mind.” 

“I would have killed you,” he sobbed. 

You patted his head. 

“But you didn't,” you said. “I think …I hope it's okay now.” 

You both looked up as you heard the rusty squeak of the metal door open. 

“This way, your Radiance,” you heard the sorcerer say. 

“This better be good, Elias,” another voice grumbled. “God, this place smells like rotting meat.” 

“Don't mind that it's the beasts. They tear apart rats for fun. Come, come. This way,” he replied. 

A man with a crown appeared next to the sorcerer in front of the cell. He wasn't quite so old but had a white beard and a regal countenance. 

“Look, your Radiance,” he said. “See how the beast is soothed? He clutches the specimen like a pet.” 

The king looked at the two of you with interest. 

“And you have a source for these…Omegas?” He asked. 

“Yes, your Radiance!” He said, clicking his long nails together with delight. “I've found a world through the ether filled with Omegas. This is only the first. I can bring many here. Once we pair the Alphas, they will become useful.” 

“They’d better be,” the King snarled, obviously annoyed. “This whole project has been a mess from the start. You promised me super soldiers, and what I’ve gotten is uncontrollable monsters. Can the thing speak?” 

You frowned at his description of Riordan as a “thing." He was monstrous, yes, but he had been human once- he still had a soul. 

“Riordan,” the sorcerer snapped. “Greet your king!” 

Riordan let out a low growl that made the hairs on the back of your neck rise. 

The King looked unimpressed. 

“If you don’t cooperate, I will take your new pet from you,” Elias hissed. “You want to keep them, don’t you? If you are good, you will not be separated. You’ll have good food and sunlight. You’ll leave this dungeon, but you must speak like a man, not a beast.” 

Riordan bared his teeth, but you patted his hand. 

“Speak to him, Riordan,” you whispered. “It’s a step forward. You’re not alone now. We’ll figure this out together.” 

His jade eyes flicked to you and then back up to the King. 

“Your- Your Highness…apologies,” he ground out. 

The King smiled and patted Elias on the back. 

“Excellent work,” he said. “Secure the beast and bring him to our war camp for a demonstration in the morning.” 

He looked a little sickly. 

“I can’t spend another moment in this filth,” he grumbled, turning on his heels and marching out of the door.

The sorcerer looked at the two of you hungrily. 

“You heard the King,” he said. “Time to return to the surface. Guards! Bring the collars!” 

A handful of guards appeared holding two metal collars. One big and one small. 

“Go in there and apply them!” He told them, and they all looked horrified at one another. No one moved. 

“Go in now,” he snapped, clapping. “you're going to comply, aren't you, Riordan? Because you want to keep the Omega?” 

Riordan narrowed his eyes, but you squeezed his hand. 

“It’ll be okay,” you said. “Maybe they'll give us some real food.” 

You tried to sound positive. Riordan looked at you, then lowered his head. 

“I will comply,” he said. 

The guards slowly entered the cell, the one holding the collars first. 

“Don't mind the collars,” the sorcerer told you. “They are a good thing. They keep you tied together with an invisible tether so your enemies can't separate you on the battle field.” 

“What else do they do?” You asked, not believing the sorcerer for a moment. 

“They also have the same energy as the bars,” he said. “If either of you misbehave, you can be punished.” 

You looked warily at the soldier holding your collar, but you reasoned that the collar may be easier to escape than the dungeon, so you remained still as he snapped it around your neck. The cold metal was uncomfortable but could be tolerated. 

The soldiers were eager to get out of Riordan's way as he rose, stepping heavily towards the gate with you in his arms. 

The sorcerer looked pleased. 

“Now to the baths,” he said. “You can't perform for the King stinking like you do.” 

Riordan gave you an uncertain look, and you nodded just slightly. 

“It's okay,” you whispered. “Won't a bath be nice?” 

You watched his jaw twitch, but he followed silently behind Elias as he led you past the thick iron door. The baths were across the building you were in. Outside of the dungeon, it was quite nice, with potted plants and paintings of flowering meadows decorating the stone walls. Sun filtered in through leaded glass windows, giving you a glimpse at the land you’d been summoned to. From what you could see, there were more stone buildings with people going about their days. 

“You have thirty minutes,” a guard barked sharply, drawing your attention back to the task at hand. 

He opened a door, and steam scented like lavender drifted out. The room was tiled with a blue and white motif, with a large blue pool in the center. Riordan set you down, attempting to lift your shirt from your back.

“Hey! I can do that!” you snapped. 

His eyes flashed, but not red, a rich gold, and he looked contrite.

“I can’t help it, Omega. My instincts tell me to tend to you.” 

You huffed. You weren’t sure what to make of this dynamic, but Riordan seemed bent on caring for you. If it kept the red away, you figured you ought to allow it. 

“Fine! Go on, but ask next time.” 

You eyed him carefully. 

“I’m not used to your size.” 

A smirk grew on his lips, and a deep noise rumbled in his chest. It sounded like…a happy cat, but deeper. More of a rumble, like thunder from far away. 

“Are you purring?” you ventured. 

“I think it is natural to calm my Omega…the wizard told me many things I didn’t understand until now.”

He tugged your shirt from you, then your pants, and paused, his fingers skimming the underwear you wore. Though you weren’t used to being naked in front of a stranger, you couldn’t bathe in your underwear. You leveled him with a stern stare.  

“Continue, but don’t get any bright ideas.” 

He nodded, slipping the small garments off of you. When you were ready, he dipped you in the hot water, following close behind when he’d removed his own clothes. The second he got settled in the water, he scooped you into his lap and started to scrub you. 

“What are you doing now?” you rasped. 

Underneath you, you could feel all of his power; the massive muscles, hard planes against your soft skin, and something…large poking you in the back. 

“You smell…like strange things. I will wash you, then I will scent you.”

You figured that if he had a better-than-average sense of smell, he would probably be able to smell the cheap soap you used, which was filled with chemicals. 

“What does ‘scent you’ mean?” you asked as he lifted your arm. 

As the smell of rot from the dungeon washed away, you were suddenly aware of a sweet cinnamony smell coming from Riordan. 

“I need to mark my Omega, so others know you’re mine,” he said, seeming proud that he could recall such facts. “It will not hurt.” 

“Oh…Okay…” 

He was very methodical, making sure every inch of skin was cleaned. When he was satisfied you were spotless, his nose dipped to the crook of your neck, and he purred. 

“You smell so good, Omega,” he breathed into your skin. 

The thick shaft pressed against your body thickened and hardened, drawing breath from your lungs. 

“We need to clean you,” you stammered, swirling around to straddle him. 

His cock patted your most sensitive spot, and it took some effort on your part not to look down. He watched you with wide eyes as you carefully scrubbed his hair with the lavender-smelling soap sitting on the rim of the tub. When you rinsed it away, you found he had pretty wheat-colored hair. Scraping it back with your fingers, he looked a bit more tidy, though he needed a trim. He didn’t wait even a minute after you were done helping him scrub the years of dungeon nastiness away, snuggling into your neck, running the spot just under his ear down your arms. 

You yelped, surprised at his sudden enthusiasm. 

“Riordan!” you squealed, and he looked up, his cheeks ruddy. 

“I have to rub my scent glands on you,” he informed you matter-of-factly before diving back in.

You tried to ignore the heat that pooled in your stomach as his cinnamon scent filled your lungs. Your breath drew short, and every sensitive spot on your body perked up under his touch. You weren’t sure if you were compatible with the giant, but your body certainly believed you were. As he rubbed himself against you, his cock gingerly brushed your stomach. Closing your eyes, you desperately tried to think about anything but sex. 

Riordan’s head rose suddenly, cocked to the side. 

“The guard is back,” he muttered. 

A moment later said guard appeared in the door, grimacing. 

“Don’t tell me you’re going at it in the bath, fucking beasts.” 

“W-we weren’t-” you started to say, but your words were cut off by a growl. 

“Don’t shout at my mate,” Riordan grumbled as he scooped you out of the water. Standing at his full height, looking down on the guard you saw the annoying intruder’s eyes widen, and he took an instinctive step back. Clearing his throat, he waved the pile of clothes he held at him. 

“Come on,” he tried to assert, his voice cracking. “The King is waiting.” 

You quickly dressed in the light cotton pants and loose shirt he’d provided, having to pause for a moment so Riordan could refresh his scent on the new items. 

Though you could walk, you found your legs swinging in the air as your Alpha tucked you in the crook of his arm. 

“Where are we going?” you whispered to him as the guard led you out of the building. 

“We are at war…or we were. To a war camp, I assume.” 

Around you, a pleasant, medieval village buzzed with activity. As you passed, people gaped at Riordan’s size. He was at least a foot and a half taller than the tallest among them. Your eyes danced around the archaic scene with wonder. Where had this wizard spirited you off to? 

Ahead of you, a shrill grinding noise drew your attention. With five guards on each size manning lever handles the massive gate of the city opened to a sprawling wilderness. An overgrown cobblestone road cut through the forested hills, flowers blooming through the cracks in the stones. Dappled sunlight spotted the forest floor, lighting falling leaves like sparkling emeralds. In Riordan’s arms you felt him suck in a heavy breath. 

“Nice to breathe fresh air, huh?” you asked and he smiled. 

Despite the collars, this was far preferable to the stinking dungeon. Your body shook with the pleased purr emanate from his chest. Hours passed, marching along the winding trail. You could only assume it was early spring by the crisp, cool air and the early blooming daffodils growing from every spot of sun. 

As you turned a corner Riordan grunted and you glanced up to see him frowning. 

“What is it?” you whispered. 

“I can smell the camp from here. It’s much closer than it used to be…not a good sign.” 

You blinked at him. 

“Do you think the war has been going on for all the years you’ve been captive?” 

He nodded, jaw ticking, as he held you close.  

“I smell blood and rotting flesh.” 

You swallowed hard, sniffing the air. Your scene of smell was not any better than it had been and all that you caught was Riordan’s cinnomin and cardamom musk. The Omega emerging inside of you had you cuddling your head into his chest. It was hard to believe you were some magical creature, designed to compliment this massive beast, but your body and instincts were already caught up. 

His purr soothed your anxiety and you wanted to roll around in his scent. You wouldn’t have liked them under any circumstances, but the longer you bonded with Riordan the more bloodthirsty thoughts about his captors filled your mind. 

Freedom, your Omega crooned, Freedom to mate, to nest, to rear his pups. 

Before you could catch yourself, you were fisting his shirt, the urge to rearrange it to your liking driving your fingers. 

“Soon, Omega,” he purred. “Soon you can make your nest.” 

The impatient, emerging Omega huffed at him. He chuckled, allowing himself a moment of amusement before his attention returned to the road ahead. The sounds of metal clanging and shouting soldiers signalled your arrival. 

The camp was an ugly, dirty place. Smokey bonfires smothered your breaths and soldiers, some clearly injured, covered in blood scuttled around. Your guard guided the two of you through the hastily erected tents. Some were merely a bit of leather stretched between some odd poles. The one you stopped at was the finest of them all, made with lengths of canvas and gold and silver threads. 

“Gold threads at a war camp? A waste,” Riordan scoffed quietly, following your eyes. “Money would be better spent on bandages and rations. The enemy doesn’t care for such indulgences.” 

You blinked up at him. 

“You know a lot about war?” 

His eyes narrowed as he thought. 

“I believe I ranked captain when I was taken.” 

“Wait here,” the guard ordered before he entered the tent. A moment later the king emerged surrounded by his entourage. 

He smiled up at the both of you, not a friendly smile. It was calculating and cool. 

“Enjoy the walk, creature?” he asked, his lips carrying a smirk. “Nice to be out in the sun again, isn’t it?” 

You felt the growl building in your Alpha’s chest and patted him to calm him. He glanced down at you and you flicked your head just slightly to tell him not to fight this. Instead, he gave the King a half bow, careful not to jostle you. 

Pleased, the King smacked his hands together. 

“Now is the time to work for your supper,” he announced. “You’ll be accompanying a regiment to flank the enemy in the hills. If you make it back and do as your told, there will be food for your return.” 

“We will not be fed now?” you asked. “He will need energy to fight your enemy.” 

The King scowled at you and one of his guards slammed his spear into the dirt.

“Learn to show your king proper respect,” he snarled. 

You felt Riordan’s arm tighten around you, but he gritted out an apology. 

“Please excuse my Omega. They are not used to our ways.” 

He set you down, patting your head. 

“Stay here where it’s safe. I’ll be back soon.” 

The King laughed outloud. 

“Oh no, your little Omega will be going with you. I’ll have no mishaps if you go rogue.” 

At that Riordan growled. 

“It’s too dangerous. They are not a soldier!” 

This time the guard rubbed a strange crystal he had around his neck and Riordan spasmed as his collar shocked him. 

“Silence creature, you’ll do as your King wills!” 

You tugged on his shirt, asking to be picked back up. King’s edict or no, you didn’t want to leave Riordan’s side. He gave you a wary glance before he scooped you back up, panting from the shock. 

“Aye, your majesty,” he finally said on a heavy breath. 

The King gave Riordan a haughty look, high on the idea that this creature served him, only. 

“Escort them to the battlefield!” he announced before returning to the comfort of his tent. 

The soldiers around you looked wary, be it from Riordan’s great size or what lay ahead, you couldn’t tell. However, this time you smelled your destination long before you arrived. The scent of death was on the wind. 

As you drew closer, the scent wound around the sound of screaming and metal clanging. In either realm, you’d never seen a battle before and it was nothing like the movies. All of the parts were there, dead bodies, swords, shields, sweating soldiers, but it was all so much more. At the back, some captain shouted orders, but nothing about this seemed orderly. The soldiers had long broken whatever formation they had been in and it was clear the enemy had them pressed. 

“This is no good. The King will be overtaken by nightfall,” Riordan whispered to you. 

The captain seemed acutely aware of this fact, a bit of hope in his expression when Riordan appeared. 

“Into the fray beast!” he shouted. “Drive them back or we’ll all be skewered!” 

Needing his hands, Riordan reluctantly put you down. 

“Stay close, Omega,” he murmured, his large jaw setting. 

Your heart pattered in your chest, holding on the the back of his shirt as he waded into the bloody mess. Enemies flew at him swords raised, but he threw them back with little more than a wave of his arm. You tried to stifle your screams, lest he be distracted, shuffling behind him. The enemy was thick, bearing down on the two of you from seeming every direction. 

You jerked a dagger loose from one of the bodies you past, swinging it at a soldier who’d gotten too close. 

The enemy’s face was hidden by silver armor carrying a massive sword. A desperate scream emerged from your chest as he bore down on you with the sharp end of the blade. Riordan turned to come to your rescue, but it was too late. The sword made contact with the collar around your neck, knocking you sideways. Riordan roared, grabbing the soldier and ripping his sword arm off. You gasped in the bloody mud of the battlefield, prepared to meet you maker. Only, you didn’t die…in fact, you weren’t hurt at all. The collar around your neck slipped off you, sliced clean in half. 

Free, you sat up, eyes wide with confusion. Riordan, however, was quick and sharp, prying the sword from the disembodied arm’s grasp. 

“Elven metal,” he gasped, green eyes glowing. 

Before you could question him, you’d been tossed over his shoulder and he made a B-line to the forest’s edge. In the chaos, your guards hadn’t even noticed, busy fighting back the enemy the best they good. As soon as you were safely past the treeline, he turned the sword, which looked like little more than a cooking knife in his hand, to his own neck. The collar popped off with little trouble and Riordan massaged the sore skin where he’d been burned. 

“What now?” you gasped, still eyeing the battle behind you with concern. 

“Now we run,” he announced. 

Before you could respond, he picked you back up and sprinted into the forest. 

“Where are we going?” you asked as trees flew by. 

“The mountains, it ought to be safe there.” 

There was little you could do but hold on tight and peek over his shoulder to be sure you weren’t followed. You must have dozed off, because you woke in a strange place…on a bed. The sheets were itchy wool, but warm enough. In fact, you were quite warm. Blinking you looked around. A cheery fire roared in a stone fireplace and the scent of the stew boiling in a pot filled your lungs. You found yourself in a little cabin. There was only one room, but it came furnished with the bed you were on, a rocking chair, and a small table with a log bench. 

“Riordan?” you called, though you were the only person in the room. 

A few moments later the door opened. You could see it was snowing outside and a puff of icy air hit your face. 

Your alpha brushed snow off his shoulders before he smiled at you. 

“You slept a long time Omega,” he chuckled, handing you a pile of what looked like linens. 

“What’s this?” you asked. “Where are we?” 

“In the mountains.” 

You looked down at the pile he’d set on your lap. 

“What are these?’ 

“Some blankets for your nest. They’re not very nice, but I’ll get you better ones soon.” 

“Where did they come from?” 

“The orc village next door. After I dropped you off here, I went looking for food and stumbled on some very surprised orcs.

They have no great love of humans, so when I explained our situation, they asked if I would join their patrol in exchange for some supplies to get us started. With my size, they see me as one of their own, I suspect.” 

“They don’t mind we’re staying in this cabin?” 

He shook his head. 

“It’s a patrol cabin, we’d be staying in it anyway. We can stay as long as we like, or move into the village if we want.” 

He grinned, pleased he could provide for you. Your Omega side purred in your head and without thinking you started organizing the furs and blankets to form a proper nest. It came instinctively to you, where everything ought to go for maximum comfort. While you were busy with that, Riordan shuffled about the cabin, straightening things and finally spooning two bowls of stew for you. 

“C’mon Omega,” he said, setting your soup on the table. “You can fuss more with your nest after dinner.” 

"Your eyes are still green? I thought you'd go red without me."

His eyebrows jumped as he considered that thought.

"I think with your scent all over me, it held it off. Perhaps it will work even better when I've given you my bite."

Your cheeks warmed at the prospect of his teeth on your neck.

You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the warm food filled your stomach. After all you’d been through, you felt safe. The cabin was already filled with Riordan’s comforting scent. Belly full and your nest on it’s way to a proper state, your Omega mind turned it’s attention to other matters. Your eyes drifted over Riordan’s strong shoulders, down to his thick hands. You’d always liked hands and his long strong fingers, lined with stiff veins sent heat pooling in your core. 

He looked up from his soup suddenly, sniffing the air and giving you a wicked smile. 

“Are you ready for me, Omega?” he asked and you didn’t have to wonder what he meant. 

Your body already knew. Purring, he abandoned his meal and gently set you in your nest, examining your features closely. Your cheeks burned under his careful inspection and some feral part of you wanted to tear off his clothes. 

His green eyes flashed gold and a smug smirk spread across his lips. 

“Present yourself to me, Omega,” he purred. “Invite me into your nest.” 

Those words in his grumbly bass, flicked a switch inside you. Your logical self slipped into a fog of lust, your instincts telling you to undress. With trembling hands you tugged your shirt over your head, then slipped off your pants, finally your damp underwear went. As nature told you, you scooted to the back of your nest to make room for his big body, then tipped your head to expose your neck to him. 

He thundered his approval with a deep growl. 

“Sweet little Omega,” he hummed, crawling across the sheets to you like a hungry panther. Your first kiss was soft and sweet, but was soon followed by his greedy mouth, eating you up. Your tongues and teeth clashed. He seemed desperate to taste you, pushing you onto your back to pin you to the bed. 

“Let me out,” he growled, his husky demands making your spine arch. 

Your most secret place wept for him, smearing your desire across the blankets you’d arranged. You carefully unfastened his pants, his cock bobbing to greet you. Precum dribbled down the length of it and you gave it a curious stroke. It was so big, hot, and ready for you. Under your touch, he hissed in pleasure, egging you on. It seemed impossible that that would fit inside of you, but you wanted to try. You wanted to please him, seduce him, so he’d give you his bite. 

The concept echoed in the haze enveloping your mind. 

His bite? He’s going to bite me. 

You weren’t afraid. You knew in some primordial corner of your consciousness that his bite was good. It was exclusive. With his bite you were his and he was yours. 

When your gentle teasing became too much, he flipped you on your stomach, big hand fisting your hair. 

“You were made for me, omega, but I won’t force you,” he informed you. “Tell me now. Do you want my bite?” 

“Uh-huh,” you murmured, eyelashes fluttering at the pressure on your scalp. 

“Be a good Omega and say the words,” he chided. 

“Yes, Alpha…I want your bite,” you whispered. 

“When we are like this, you will always call me Alpha.” 

“Yes, Alpha,” you moaned, body lighting up as you did what was natural to you and submitted. 

He let out a possessive chuff and you felt him nudge your legs further apart to accommodate his width. You were already plenty wet, but Riordan needed his scent in your most secret place, spreading his precum on your clenched channel.

His sticky fingers drifted over your body, covering you in his essence. You were his and he needed you to know it. 

“All of this is mine,” he hummed in somewhat of a trance, stuffing his fingers into your mouth so you could taste him. 

Unable to speak, you whimpered and sucked, the flavor of his spice on your tongue. While the fingers of one hand pushed into your mouth, the other tested your slick tunnel. Your muscles clenched at his intrusion, pleasure and need forcing you to push your hips back to seek your pleasure. 

“Good omega,” he purred, pushing another finger inside, “You’re going to take me just fine.” 

After thrusting and scissoring until your arms collapsed under you, your face pressed into the pillow and you ass sticking up, you felt the round head of his cock pushing against your core. 

“Relax. You can take it.” 

Tears slid down your cheeks as he entered you. He was large, extremely large, but your body performed some kind of Omega magic, stretching to accommodate him. He let out a gutteral grunt as he bottomed out inside. 

“So tight and hot.” 

He gave you one small thrust, to test you. 

“Do you like that?” 

“Yes, alpha!” you wailed into the pillow. 

You’d had sex before, but it was nothing like the sense of sheer domination you felt with his massive cock moving in you. Your pleasure was his, your body was his, your mind was his. 

“Show me your neck.” 

You tipped your head to bare your skin to him. He settled a hand on the spot where your throat and shoulder came together, holding you open for him as he slowly revved up his thrusts. With every ragged drive your mind unwraveled. 

Your alpha was fucking you. Your body gave him pleasure. Your cheeks burned with a sense of Omega accomplishment. You’d lived your whole life not knowing that this was what you were made for. Your heady mewls filled the little cabin as he rutted you. He curled his hands around your body, playing with your sex with his fingers. His touch drove you deeper and deeper into madness and you whimpered for more, pleading and begging into the pillow. 

He pushed you higher and higher until you were ready to implode. Seeing the time was right, Riordan bared his teeth, sinking them into your neck. It was impossible to tell if he timed it just right to bite as you came or if the bite caused you to cum, but it really didn’t matter. Suddenly you were in the stars, a sensation beyond an orgasm rolling through you along with the heat of your Alpha’s cum spilling into you. 

It felt good, and right, and explosive. You let out a yelp as colors sparkled in your vision and pressure built in your channel. 

“Wh-what?” you could only stammer. 

“Shhh, shhh, Omega, all is well. You’ve taken my knot.” 

He rocked the engorged rock into you as he stroked the most pleasurable spot with your fingers. The pressure turned into bliss and you melted into him as he licked the bite on your neck. 

“You did so good, taking my bite and my knot,” he purred, calming you. “You are a perfect Omega…so perfect.” 

He rolled on his side, smoothly taking you with him so as not to disturb the shaft linking the two of you. 

“I’m yours now?” you squeaked, thoughts still scattered. 

It was the only thing you could put together. 

“Yes, sweet one. You’re mine.” 

You let your body relax, his scent perfuming your nest. You were safe, marked, and all was as it should be. 

Bluesky -- Carrd -- Commissions -- Instagram -- Threads -- Subscribestar -- Art

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

I was re reading your pool fic bc it’s one of my favourite and I wanted to ask ab how Vil would go over giving you a make over when he finds out you’re a girl or how Vil, Rook and Epel would be involved?

Would Epel finally be happy to not be the only one being tortured by Vil with his 20084 step skin care routine?

Would Vil take you shopping and go full MUA?

Would Rook stalk you so Vil can find our about your current beauty regimen?

Also I love your writing so much

Aforementioned Makeover | Yandere Pomefiore

The thing about the pool party is that everyone knew you were a girl 

You had told them straight up

But they either written it off or the time you casually mentioned it or it just wasn’t a priority

Rook most definitely already knew 

More than willing to share one of his extensive photo albums on you when Vil finally decides you are indeed in need  of a makeover

Whether it’s through Rook or forcefully making Epel ask or just interrogating you himself

He’ll go full steam ahead once he has an idea on your situation

But it gets tricky when he realizes Rook’s has a loooonggg list of things he notices and actively updates about your health and routine

It kind of makes him jealous

So he steps up his game a little and demands your presence in Pomefiore immediately

He might wait for exam season where everyone’s on edge 

And far too anxious to debate whatever craziness he’s imposing on the Ramshackle Prefect

“This is just for the time being, no need to lose your head. Focus on your exams and I’ll focus on you. Got that?”

He’s reworking your entire life routine to fit around and with him in the center

Because Rook get’s to openly patrol and monitor you he’s not upset

He also expected it’d turn out this way but that’s a discussion for another time+

Epel though is at first willing to excuse himself

Leaving you to the proverbial wolves until he realizes what this means

“After the fitting, we’ll polish their elegance training, and then after that we’ll have to do a hearty meal otherwise they’d whine all day–” “I agree!”

“But they told me that tomorrow we’d go to the racing derby together…”

“Hm, well we’ll have to cancel that then. (Y/n)’s incredibly short energy and requirements for tomorrow can’t have them waking up too early to go to that. We only have time for what we’ve planned.”

“Yup sorry, monsieur crab-apple! Now please continue Roi du Poison!” 

“...”

If he doesn’t actively include himself or remind Vil of his obsession with training him

He’s going to be left out

Lose more time to get close to you

Less chances for him to win you over

Not to mention the bonding and learning he gets from just aiding his upperclassmen in their endeavors

“Now this Epel is the perfect time to ask questions. In this condition their mental state is still intact, so any questions you ask isn’t immediately going to be met with mindless and incoherent blubbering.”

“But why would I want to ask questions? What good is talking to this piece’a crap gonna do?”

“Tsk Tsk pauvre malheureux you have so much to learn! Consider this prey the beginning of a larger scheme…a member of a conspiracy against notre chéri!” 

“I see…”

Unbeknownst to him he’s prepared to use it all against them when the perfect time strikes

But it’s not wise to underestimate your teachers 

Where do you think that urge came from?

“We at Pomefiore value beauty above most, consider it a privilege we want to highlight yours.” 

“Though the urge to lock it away is palpable; for my Roi du Poison I’ll stiffle my urges just a tad longer!”

“Don’t expect to get too far from me I’m mo’ than set onya heart.”

“Epel!”

“I know I know, geez.”

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere Characters Were on Tumblr...

Sure, we blog about Cosmere characters. But what if they were here, blogging for themselves? Here is what I think it might be like...

1. Dalinar: Never changes the default icon

He gets blocked a lot.

Dalinar: How odd. No matter how many blogs I follow, my “dashboard” remains empty.

Renarin: I think they all blocked you because they think you’re a bot.

Dalinar: A bot? But I took your advice and chose a unique blog name: Big_D9762.

Renarin: ...

Dalinar: What?

2. Jasnah: Acts like Neil Gaiman

She comes on tumblr as a break from doing research and ruling, answers a few questions, and leaves again.

Anonymous asked: I love your work breaking down gender barriers in Alethkar by being queen and stuff! Do you plan to further erode unnecessary gender distinctions, like by letting women eat spicy food and show both hands?

Jasnah-Kholin: Wait and See.

3. Vin: Reblogs a thousand things in a mad fury and then disappears for days

She does not use the queue function.

Vin: Yeah...I don’t fuck with the the queue function. If you see me, you see me.

Elend: Hey Vin, did you reblog the crab rave like 15 times in a row?

Vin: I was feeling it.

4. Elend: Has a carefully curated queue

His “queue” tag is “Vin is a queue-T.”

Elend: The only exception I make are donation posts and political ones, since those need to be reblogged immediately.

Elend: But otherwise, the queue function is great for lovely, regular content!

5. Adolin: Runs a fashion blog

He has ALL of the Rosharan runways.

Adolin: It’s easy to let Alethi fashion dominate, but a REAL fashion blogger makes sure to have a wide variety of nations and fashions.

6. Shallan: Posts her art

And she tries not to be frustrated when her quick Kaladin sketch gets tons more notes than her very detailed sketch of the chasmfiend.

Shallan: It’s like, I get it--Kaladin fan art is ALWAYS popular.

Shallan: But that chasmfiend was very detailed!

Adolin: Maybe you should draw Kaladin riding it.

Adolin: Shirtless.

Shallan: ...

Shallan: I’ll take my three notes, thank you very much.

7. Tien: Always reblogs no-note art posts

And he always leaves a nice comment too!

Tien: The colors in this are so lovely!!

8. Navani: Considers herself a tumblr patron

She’s one of those bloggers who, if she reblogs your post, you know you’re about to make it big.

Navani: I don’t really make original posts, of course. I’m not a real blogger.

Navani: I just find other people’s clever posts and help promote them!

Navani (typing): "This...has...10,000...notes...to...me...”

Navani: You know they’re happy when they just respond “PLEASE NO”

9. Kelsier: Stirs up his followers with so. much. discourse.

Especially about Hoid.

Kelsier: Friendly reminder that Hoid (1) will let a planet burn to get what he wants; (2) beat up an innocent ghost (me) once; (3) is dating someone WAY younger than he is; (4) insults women.

Hoid: I insulted men too. I was the King’s Wit.

Kelsier: I’m adding you to my DNI.

10. Szeth: Very popular for his “shit posts”

Szeth, of course, is 100% sincere the entire time.

Szeth: It is odd.

Szeth: The vent post I made that simply said “my talking sword is a bad conversationalist” has like a million notes.

Szeth: ...

Szeth: Tumblr is a strange place.  

[vynanaa]

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE.

Dazai x GENDER NEUTRAL Reader.

TW/CW: Dazai (typical suicide mentions), bottom Dazai, dom!reader, gender neutral reader, oral, strap usage (if you're AFAB), hardcore top reader, little to no plot, profanity, mature themes, (Y/N) usage, mentions of alcohol, he calls you master here.

Note: I do not own any characters in this fictional work. Everything is fake and all by imagination. Thank you. Viewer discretion is advised.

DAZAI IS A man full of mysteries. The only way to figure him out is by reaching his vulnerable points. Though, even it'd be that level of trust, he'd still be hard to figure out. Through his years of living, it was never really easy to get along with him without feeling uneasy, to you, at least.

In despite of his unsettling demeanor, it was still obvious that this man was easy to control in more... intimate, ways.

"Happy Birthday, Osamu!" You greeted with a warm grin as he arrived at your shared apartment, holding up a tray of his favorite dish; crab. He looked worn out, but at your appearance, he smiled. A warm, genuine smile that made the past falter.

"Thank you, belladonna.." The man in question cooed in response, eliciting a soft chuckle from you. You wanted to ask how was work, but you were too far gone to even remember that. He looked very pleased to see you, and maybe eventually, he'd tell you how things had gone in the agency.

Since it was his birthday, you've obviously prepared the apartment clean, and had cooked food for him; which he was very grateful for. The lousy set of alcohol was put aside as to keep him sober, and the it looked rather warm than cold and depressive when it always used to be.

"You did this all for me? That's adorable, my (Y/N)..." Dazai lightly teased as he looked around, munching on the crab with eyes that shine in awe. He looked handsome; you couldn't believe you were just realizing. "Of course, Osamu." You replied with a sweet, yet cunning smile. Though it wasn't obvious, he felt cautious, and a bit challenged, by your look.

"I sense that you're planning something, hm?"

And oh, his senses were so right. You sometimes forget that this man may seem so easy-going, and yet he can read through pages so easily.

"Oh well, that's true..." You teasingly voiced out in a whisper just by his ear, and he seemed to tense up at this. It's not so often he's reactive to these types of stuff, and you were loving it. "Tell me," Dazai started, "tell me what's on your mind, belladonna..."

His voice is hypnotizing, almost bribing your throat to spill your vicious plan; but of course, you stayed tough.

"C'mon now, I want it to be a surprise." You cooed, your fingertips touching the tip of his bandages that were plastered around his wrists. His eyes slightly widened at the action, and he smirked with anticipation of what comes next. "Then, I'm required to eat so I'd not starve, hm?" He hummed in delight, his tiresome demeanor slowly faded away; good. You thought; he ought to remain in the mood in order for him to receive his birthday gift.

Minutes, an hour, a few seconds... The time passed as the two of you were last in a nicely shared dinner before alcohol even came place. You'd best say it's junk, but it's his birthday after all.

"You aren't drunk, still?" You inquired in disbelief that his alcohol tolerance was that high, well, considering it was five glasses, and you rarely drink, it's a bit surprising to you. "Oh, no I'm not. I won't be anytime sooner, trust me."

"Oh, right... you reek of alcohol every night you come home, so I'll not question any longer." You smiled at Dazai, making him finish another shot. This time, he seemed to stop pouring himself a glass. You've only took two shots due to wanting to be sober.

He knew.

"Actually, I'd rather drink something else..." Dazai teasingly cooed, leaning closer, and playing with the cloth of your top's collar. "Oh? What is it? Pray tell me.." You teased back, a light smirk showed your confidence in the given moment. It was obvious he was flushed at this, and he stood up, knowingly, even.

Heading to the room, you toyed with his coat, taking it off and hanging it on the closet handle, while he on the other hand, started to unbutton his vest.

"You're eager," You started, "are you that excited, hm?"

"Just give me my gift.." He replied with a cunning smile. As that came to event, you slowly leaned in to kiss him, and he returned the kiss with neediness full of passion, that of which you originally didn't expect from him.

Making out eventually led to sensual touches, but the man was impatient. He unbuttoned your shirt, trying to touch you all over, but unfortunately for him... you wouldn't allow him without a little begging.

"Nuh uh. No touching." You whispered into his ear, receiving a light whimper of dissatisfaction from Dazai. "But-" You cut him off, "No, you stay put. Or do you want me to punish you, hm?" Cunningly, you smirked and leaned back, fully removing your shirt and your first layers off. His eyes wandered all over your figure, and the desire was vivid.

"Does my boy like what he sees?" You teased and straddled him, making him lie down on his back. Helplessly, he gave in and gave you a needy little expression. How pathetic, you thought. He's such a needy bastard, though he'd never admit that out loud. Maybe he would...

"Please, just give me my gift," He whimpered, "Please... please master?" Dazai bucked his hips upward, allowing you to feel the bulge underneath his clothing. He was getting desperate, and really aroused. "I wanna hear more, now." You teased.

"Fuck me, please, fuck me." He sternly begged, his breath was airy and squeaky, enough to indicate his desperation and submission towards you.

"Hmm.." You pretended to hum in thought, "But you've been really naughty.."

"I promise, I'll be good now! I-I'm.. I'm a good boy, master.." His voice slowly quieted down, as if he's embarrassed to admit this. He was that vulnerable in this matter. "Fine, but I do things my way here. Got it?" You asserted yourself, though giving in.

As he nodded in approval, your hand traveled to his waist, while the other rubbed on his crotch, supposedly feeling down on his hard, clothed dick.

He let out a desperate gasp, his voice hitched and he threw his head back. "I want to hear more. Tell me more, tell me what you need." You teased, enunciating your words as you whispered right into his ear, your breath hitting his plush skin.

He was so obsequious.

"Please, please, please... Please, master (Y/N)," His pleads were rolled out of his tongue, so clearly and so dirty. Hearing him beg was like listening to a classic, it stroke right through your head, your heart. "Fuck me." He finished.

"You're so needy." You commented, though you weren't completely unfazed by his present needy demeanor. His words got to you, the tone of his voice pierced right through your essence. You had to remind yourself that this man was manipulative, and he was in this to get what he wants— what he needs.

It was almost as if his manipulation was getting to you, but... you wouldn't let that happen now, no you won't.

"Alright, but you take what I give you, and what I give you only." You whispered with boldness painting your voice. Dazai nodded in agreement and desperation, permitting you to do as you please to him. He was a mess under you, he always is.

His messy brown hair seemed messier as he's lied down on the soft cushions of your bed, strands almost covering his beautiful hazel eyes. His fingers wrapped around the blanket, looking for some comfort for himself under you.

Seeing this, your hand slipped down to his waist, reaching the bands of his underwear. As you unbuckled his belt, your wrist pressed down his crotch, and though you've felt it just minutes ago, it seems like he's harder than that moment you were toying on his clothed dick.

This provoked you to slide his pants down, making his dick spring up to his stomach lightly, greeting you with a subtle twitch. You've seen it before, but this moment, you can't help but admire its details.

All in a darker shade of beige from his pale skin, the way one vine from another has its own specific size, the length, and how it isn't too girthy... enticing, you told yourself.

Your hand wrapped around his dick, making the precum drip down your hand and around the area it slid through.

"H-hnng-.." Dazai whimpered, closing his mouth and biting his inner lips to conceal his little noises, and tightened his grip on the sheets like he was trying to keep himself calm.

The man was a bit too out of it, his eyes closed tightly— and probably even nibbling on the insides of his lips. So, you gave his dick a sudden rough stroke down. You were eyeing his every reaction, and listening carefully to whatever noise he'll release.

"A-aah-aah..!" He moaned in complete bliss, his naturally noisy and talkative behavior dimmed down by his present obsequiousness. It was just another time he's submitting to you. "Oh, that was barely something.. you're quite sensitive now, hm?"

"S-sh- shut up..! Ah-!" He gasped, before he completed his complaint about your teasing, his dick is damped by your warm and plump lips. Your hand was wrapped around his base, and slowly but surely, you take in his length and girth inside your mouth with pleasure.

"A-ah- ah more, please, more.." Uncharacteristically, the man continued to writhe and beg for more. The mood he lets out was different from his usual outer facade. "P-please- aah!"

He gasped as your tongue reached his base, taking him fully in your mouth. He let out a shaky whine, almost convincing you to do more for him. Your fingers were toying on his skin, right on his stomach; caressing and tracing on his slightly toned body, scarry and textured.

Your eyes met his as you sucked, hard, on his long dick. He seemed close to tearing up, his pupils dilated right in the middle of his hazelnut irises. "More, more please!" He begged and pleaded, while his slender fingers gripped tightly into the soft sheets.

"Mm.. mmnnh..." You hummed softy as you continued to please him, your head ployed up and down his dick, your lips hugged tightly onto his skin. Your hum sent vibrations from his dick to his very soles, his fingertips tingled and weakened from your motions.

His leg twitched slightly, one of his feet slightly moved upward in pure ecstasy. He couldn't control the noises coming out of his mouth any longer, and his face contorted in pleasure. You knew he was about to finish.

"D-don't stop, don't stop, don't sto- aah!" You cut him off by going a slight bit harder tham you already were.

He threw back his head once more, his eyes rolled to the back of his skull uncontrollably. This provoked you to give him a little more than he wants. You went a little faster, your tongue swirling around his veiny shaft as your hands now gripped tightly onto his curved waist.

"H-haah! G-ghh-!" The man's needy whimpers slowly turned high-pitched minute by minute, indicating that he's getting just where you want him to be. So suddenly, his hand's near your scalp, gripping onto your hair softly and pushing you down on his dick.

You eyed him from below; if you weren't right there, you would've been smirking slyly at his desperate reactions to climax.

After a few more movements, he moaned with a light growl, releasing his seed right into your throat. "Mmppf-" You slightly struggled, though consuming all of the fluid he shooted through your throat.

You pulled back to watch him breathe heavily, his chest rising up and falling back down briskly, his voice shaky, to the point he sounded like he was whimpering.

"You're spent, and just because of a blowjob?" You chuckled softly and teasingly, the man who was laid down on the bed immensely embarrassed. "No, I'm not.." He spoke in a breathless whisper, gasping as his chest heaves.

"Alright, keep up your act." You smirked, and made your way to the closets. You fully removed your bottoms, your member springing up to your stomach softly with a light tap noise. "On your hands and knees now, pretty. I'll give you what you want,"

"It's your birthday after all..."

Dazai immediately obeyed, on all fours like a good boy. You decided that you'd give him what he deserves, after a long week of work without much rest to both of you. He was exhausted, and surely needed something to get him off on his free days.

"Good boy, now tell me what you want."

He replied with a whimper and lightly squirmed on the plush sheets. He whispered something you couldn't make out at first, and so, it provoked you to give him a light smack on his rear, now sensitive, rear. "Louder." You commanded with a dominating tone.

"Ah! Please fuck me!" He begged— more so, yelled. He was getting desperate, and it was so easy for you to control him. "Good boy," you cooed into the man's ear and entered him, the tip of your shaft embraced by his needy little hole.

Dazai gasped as he gripped the sheets, his slender fingers making their way to the pillows, just to grip on them for extra friction, or to console himself from losing his mind.

You moved slowly, halfway into his asshole.

"H-hnngh- a-aah!" The man softly whimpered below you, his thighs were mildly shaking from the friction left from his previous ejaculation, and the current stimulation from your thick member stretching his asshole out once more.

"Take it, take it baby..." You— almost comfortingly— whispered into his ear, nibbling on it softly as you held his shoulders for a better grip, to push him further down on your shaft.

"H-h-haah!" His breath hitches as you did this, making you let out a satisfied smile towards him. He didn't dare look at you— he didn't want to. He was too embarrassed to admit he loved it.

With your dick fully sheathed into his warm, tight hole, you let out a soft hum in contentment. A few seconds after, you almost completely pulled out, his little hole pulsed around nothing, waiting to have something to grip onto, to squeeze.

"Good boy, take it for me. Enjoy your birthday gift."

And with that, you gave a harsh thrust into him, leaving him almost jolting up the bed, gripping onto the pillow sheets, and slightly arching his back in pleasure. Your tip kissed his very deepest, which elicited a beautiful whimper from Dazai.

You took your time; slowly and gently pulling out, then suddenly thrusting up against him.

He loved it, every second of it. He couldn't help but whine and writhe under you, resting his face onto the pillow, almost shoving himself down to arch his back and let you do your thing.

"H-hnng-! M-mmnnh..!" Little by little, he whimpered. How adorable, you thought as your thrusts eventually roughen and quicken. He seemed to have shut up from the friction your two bodies made. If this was all it took to shut him up, you'd do this everytime if he was by you, you thought to yourself. A part of you wants to absolutely claim him, and make him cry.

But you're too nice, you even rewarded him for sitting pretty and doing nothing to help you.

You were lost in your thoughts, partly, in the pleasure. All of these thoughts were cut off by the man underneath your skin, by a loud and high-pitched moan that seemed to beg, "more!" You groaned yourself, immensely pleased by the sight unfolding in front of you.

"My good boy wants more, hm?" You cooed into his ear as your hands travelled down to his waist to get yourself deeper and deeper into him. In response, he whined, loudly even. You observed as his hands gripped the pillow tighter while his legs shook in pleasure.

"P-please, please..." He breathlessly begged and ground himself backwards against your shaft. His tip dripped with pre-cum, though it looked a bit intense on the sheets below you both.

You gave in to his desires, going faster, harder. In went on and on again, his response always being a series of whines, whimpers, and moans. Some breathy pleads here and there.

His reactions were amazing, and you took note of every single jolt, and even noise. You'd maybe use your techniques another time.

"Cu-cumming- cumming, please, please let me-"

"Do it. Cum for me, Osamu." You cut him off, fingers laced around a part of his neck, making him face up the wall to the ceiling to get a better quality of sounds from him. You loved it, surely, he did too.

As if hypnotized by your words, the man tightened all around your member, his cum dripping uncontrollably onto the sheets. They'd stain for sure, but you didn't care, and neither did he.

"Ghh- a-ahaaah..!" Dazai moaned as he lied down properly, chest flat against a pillow underneath him, hugging it closely to calm down from the remnants of his ejaculation. You came after pulling out, "ngh.." You groaned, messing on his back and his ass. He didn't quite mind, or he was out of his head to even complain yet.

"Feel good?" You quietly queried as you lied beside him, pulling him into a hug and brushing your fingers onto his brown locks to get a better view of his fucked out face. "...That was amazing," he chuckled, cuddling up to you better, now that he's out of the daze you out him into.

"I love you, baby. Happy Birthday..." You kissed his cheek softly, earning a lovingly teasing kiss on the lips from him.

The two of you then slept well, cuddled up together with the sheets over your bodies, not bothered to clean up the mess, since the two of you were miserably exhausted. Anyhow, the night was warm, and so were your hearts.

[gettinshiggywithit]

Hello! I'm new on this requesting stuff on Tumblr, so please don't mind it if i make a mistake/explain my request badly! (Also English isn't my first language.) Can you do a Kenji x gn reader fluff? reader is the same age with Kenji, and readers ability is like demon, idk how to explain it but the reader has the same abilities with nezuko from kny. if you don't want to write it, that's okay! Thanks if you do it <3 Have a nice day/night!

「ᴋᴇɴᴊɪ x ɴᴇᴢᴜᴋᴏ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ」

Scenario:- what’s it like dating the ray of sunshine of the ADA? Oh and also you happen to have a radass ability!

Pairing :- Kenji x gn!nezuko!reader

Genre:- fluff

Type:- headcannons

W/c:- 494

A/N:- I FINALLY GOT THE MOTIVATION TO DO A REQUEST YAYY🥳🥳🥳🥳 also heads up because incase it wasnt clear,reader is 14! I hope u enjoy this nonny!

First of all he finds your ability so fascinating! The fact that you can grow and shrink and use your blood as a weapon?????

“You city folk really are amazing”

Also loves that u have super strength just like him!

Would definitely teach you any little games he made up to play using his ability.

Also i think he’d definitely think its cool and a little funny that both the other kids in the agency that are his age have a ‘demon’ related ability!

Would take you out to all his favorite places in yokohama if ur new and would introduce you to all of his friends around the city

When you have the (reasonable) fears or doubts about some of his ‘friends’ he just laughs and says that theyre harmless!!

When you ask atsushi about it he tells you about that one time he was assigned to work with kenji and how he absolutely REKT those gange members

You never question kenji about his friends after that,okay maybe not never but you do it significantly less.

He knows your ability is hella strong so he doesn’t really worry about you keeping yourself safe much.

And after you get a bit of training from the agency members he’s even more sure of you!

But if by chance you get captured or are in actual active danger,he loses his cool.

He wants to protect the people he cares about but he also knows he needs a clear head.

So after Kunikida gives the team a plan of action,kenji leads the charge.

If you’re in mortal danger he may not even wait for the agency to give him a plan of action.

Kunikida knows he cant stop him so he just sends atsushi and dazai with him.

For dates, other than the aforementioned restaurant trips i think he’d love taking you to parks or places close to nature.

He’d teach you everything he knows and would tell you all about his family and farm

Loved telling you about his cows tbh.

He also gives really tight hugs!

Like the kid will pick you up and spin you around! I mean he can, so why would he not!

The rest of the agency think y’all are cute af

Kyouka loves that there’s someone else her age too!

The three of yall have best friend outings and chill together!

Just three of yokohama’s youngest and deadliest ability users~ no biggie!

When u joined the agency,yosano and dazai made a bet on how long it’d be till yall got together.

Yosano lost and owed dazai a loveless crab dinner btw~

Overall he really does love you and actually thinks you might be the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with!

He’s adorable like that 🥺

Tagging:- @kemis-world @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit . Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours.

[crabonfire]

could you do mercs reacting to their s/o infodumping about their hyperfixations? :]

I was working on another request when I saw this pop in and oh my gosh. Yes.

Mercs reacting to s/o who infodumps about their hyperfixations!!!

I also have a touch of the tism :)

characters: all mercs

warnings: none

note: ps as a ref I decided the s/o would have a hyperfixation on crabs because...I love crab

♡Scout♡

• aw

• honestly thinks it adorable...and tbh? I feel like Scout also has hyperfixations. He doesn't really realise it or even know what it is but he loves to nerd about things he's real into.

• he finds it cute your so passionate about this stuff!! Like yeah babe go off!! Talk to him about your silly little hyperfixations!!

• if you ever apologise for talking about it he will shut you up, telling you to continue about your ramble!!

"Ah...I'm talking too much-sorry you probably don't wanna hear about certain crab species."

"No no! It's interestin babe, go on. I wanna hear about Christmas crabs and what they do at Christmas Island."

"...oh....okay!"

I use crabs because that's what I'm fixated on...I love crabs...:)

♡Pyro♡

• please don't ever stop talking

• finds it absolutely charming how into it you are, like the way you sometimes get outta breath from pacing around your room and talking 24/7 about it makes him happy to see you so happy

• like omg!!! ur so cute!!!

• even if your hyperfixation is about murder, or something simple like bugs, he still loves to hear you talk about it.

• if you ever apologise for talking about it, he will assure you it's okay and encourage you to talk more about it. He loves jt.

♡Soldier♡

• finds it interesting!

• if you ever just spit out fun facts or explain stuff about your hyperfixations, he will shut the fuck up and listen, even asking questions about it.

• "Crabs are actually a quite aggressive species! Even the friendly type of crabs have their own limit to how friendly they can be. Did you also know that crabs are escape artists?"

"WOAH! I DID NOT KNOW THAT! CRABS ARE ESCAPE ARTISTS?!"

"Yeah! That's why, any type of crab you have, make sure the tanks sealed properly. Even the tiniest nook they will somehow escape."

"I SEE! CRABS ARE QUITE INTERESTING."

"Yeah!!"

• if you ever apologise for it he will get mad. like why r u sorry he loves hearing u talk...especially about something your passionate about. Keep talking, he loves it.

♡Demoman♡

• he will have a hand on his cheek, his eye half lidded with a dumb goofy smile on his face the entire time he listens to you ramble on.

• he loves it when you get so happy over your little silly hyperfixations.

• when u stim over new stuff for your hyperfixation he finds it adorable

(Ps baby girl don't be embarrassed abt ur stimming!! I've seen ppl say that they r and my little tootsie roll pancake it's normal and it's adorable!!)

• if u apologise he will be dramatic,

" gasp WHAT ARE YE SAYIN? do ye really think that I could ever hate yer knowledgable rambling?!"

But he will insist that it's okay, and that he finds it cute.

♡Heavy♡

• it is very cute. please continue.

• "I love pom pom crabs...they are so cute. They are also known as boxer crabs or cheerleader crabs, that is due to the sea anemones they hold in their claws. Why do they do that you ask? Their claws are too small to catch food, so they instead ramble ramble crab nerd stuff "

"Mhm :)"

He will actually get into what your into, he wants to know how he can fuel your hyperfixations since they make you so happy. Like bugs? He got you your favorite! Want to know more about certain crime cases? Yo he found...a clue from the crime scene? How...what? Huh?

• he's super supportive, so don't even think about apologising. because he actually loves when you talk about whatever your into.

♡Engie♡

• he will listen to you in his workshop while he works, it's like an audio book.

• he loves when you get so happy and talkative when you infodump, he wants to kiss your dumb face whenever you just ramble on about it all.

• just like Heavy, tries to fuel it. Like,,,yas babe!! Get into your little hyperfixations WOOO

• he'd definitely ask a lot of questions to get you going, he loves the expression on your face from the happiness you get from answering them.

• "The longest living crabs I've seen from multiple crab owners I've done research on is...they mostly live only until 8 years depending on the species....that's so sad...not even a decade :("

"I want to kiss you so bad."

"what? engie what did you say?"

"Nothing, uh, that's terrible...I'm sorry honey."

• DONF EVEN APPLOGIZZE BRO THIS MAN MAKES U FEEL OSO COMFORTABLE U DONT GOTTA APOLGOIZE

♡Medic♡

• he definitely has a touch of the tism too,, bro is hyperfixated on his work lol

• definitely infodumps about his to you too, and he loves to hear about yours.

• he will do intense research about your hyperfixation to impress you and relate to you, it's quite nice.

• cute ass mf

• likes to write down notes about specific things you've said to him about your interests, likes to read them when he's sad and smiles when he remembers the fire in your eyes when you talk about it.

♡Sniper♡

• he desperately wants to kiss you because of this

• he thinks it's charming that your so into all this...whatever it is, he will listen.

• also takes time to get into it!!!!

• loves it when you absolutely infodump outta nowhere, especially when yall are doing something else,,,its so cute :)))!!!

• " ramble ramble ramble "

"God, your so damn cute."

"...huh?"

"HUH? WHAT? Continue."

It just slips sometimes, he can't help it your just so so cute.

• apologise and he will give you a quick forehead kiss, telling you that he loves you a lot, especially when your being a little nerd about what you like.

♡Spy♡

• he will never ever ever admit it but he finds it charming.

• he won't really talk much about it, pretending like he doesn't care, but if you ever apologise for talking he will automatically shut you up, talking about how interesting it is and telling you that as long as your happy so is he.

• buys you stuff that's related to your hyperfixation, out of nowhere too, it's always so sweet when he does it.

• it's like his white noise, infodump all day baby!!!

• he likes the way you smile more when you talk about your hyperfixations, even if he won't understand some, he will still try to, and definitely loves you just a little more for it.

There u go!!! Sorry its 11 and I'm on the verge of falling asleep,,,so there might be some errors...I hope u enjoyed tho :)

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': Pabu

So, maybe it's because the Razorbacks are currently up over the Tigers, which makes Doug's LSU loving self extra fired up this evening, but I have made the mistake of asking him again about his opinion on the episode after 'The Outpost', which was 'Pabu'.

He called this both 'HR Goes to Daytona' and 'Did I miss an episode?'.

Doug: Make sure you put one of my Baton Rouge boys on the internet too right now. GEAUX TIGERS.

CW: Doug insults everyone, everything, and is generally a cantankerous old jerk in this one. His wife should have unplugged his internet. Lots of adult everything, ranging from language to...well, if you're under 18, please be warned.

Prepare thyself, especially if you're a TechxPhee fan. The amount of angry emojis I got in the text messages were pretty wild.

----

'Pabu' aka 'HR Goes to Daytona'

Oh it’s Church Lady and it’s Sunday service. Why is little orphan blondie in the bar with her? Daddy Rambo has his knife but you know the man was plowing vodka out of sight here. He’s tired.

I thought he hated Church Lady? Did I miss an episode?

Ah, now Ryan-from-Accounting is playing solitaire. Atta boy, get your mind off the bitch wife Laura. If he makes out with that garbage robot I’ll throw up. 

Time to skee-daddle. Woah! Church Lady just grabbed Ryan-from-Accounting. That man looks terrified, probably because he found a Youtube video of her taking down muggers behind Manning's after a Pelicans game. Bitch wife Laura gonna blow a gasket.

But such is the way of the Church Lady, I have known many in my day. “I groped the hot new usher in Jesus’s house, but it’s okay, The Lord forgives”.

(praise the Lord and pass the Tabasco)

No, seriously, did I miss an episode? I feel like I did.  

Houma-BBQ bitch is bitching, as is her wont. I wonder what sauce her tail would taste best with. Carolina Gold? I’d cook her brisket style. Oh, wait, back to the show. 

And now they’re on paradise! Daytona Beach! Who is this guy, he looks like he used to play hoops now he plays how much dessert he can eat at Golden Corral. Props to him, that lava cake is gold. Hope Rex and Toaster Strudel are there.

Where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

No, really, where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

I’m getting real mad here, where are Rex and Toaster Strudel. 

CHURCH LADY, GET BACK IN YOUR SPACE UBER AND GO FIND REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL. I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR MUSEUM OF SHIT YOU FOUND IN PEOPLE’S BACKYARDS AND THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE KEY LARGO PUBLIX, GO GET REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL.

SHOVE RYAN-FROM-ACCOUNTING BACK INTO THE DRIVER’S SEAT, PAY FOR HIS GAS, AND GO GET REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL. 

“You have some competition”. From what, there’s gonna be a hot dog eating contest or something? Why does Ryan-from-Accounting look so upset? 

(“I think they’re trying to set him and Phee up, Doug.” “What, when did that happen? Did I miss an episode?”)

Ryan-from-Accounting looks either sad or excited and I’m so confused. Maybe it’s because I’ve been married since before the dinosaurs but why is he either frowning and freaked out by Church Lady or smiling at Church Lady? Is he having a breakdown like my nephew did after he lost his job? Does Bitch Wife Laura know about this? Does he like Church Lady or is he planning on pepper spraying her? Did I miss an episode? Is this how the children flirt on the Ticky-Tack? No wonder y’all aren’t getting married any more. 

(“Doug, you did not miss an episode. And it is called Tik-Tok.” “I MISSED AN EPISODE. I KNOW I DID, AND IT IS CALLED THE TICKY-TACK!!!”) 

Ya know who would solve these questions? REX AND MOTHER LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL, WHO AIN’T HERE. THEY NEED TO BE HERE. WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THEM CHURCH LADY. 

Oh lovely, Hoops forgot to make a reservation at BoneFish, so they’re having his gas station sushi. Not one shrimp or crab on that table? Y’all Hoops is failing so hard right now, as a boy from Louisiana I’m just offended. His momma raised that man WRONG. 

You know who would love sushi on the beach while watching the sun set? REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL, and Daddy Warcrimes and Sassy Park Ranger too. 

I MISS SASSY PARK RANGER ALREADY!!!!!!

But no, Rex and Toaster Strudel are busy at work saving the galaxy while Julio and the gang throw back cocktails and stare at the sun like they dropped cheap acid they bought in a sketchier part of Biloxi. Which is all of Biloxi, I guess. 

Oh, and Ryan-from-Accounting is awkward around Church Lady and stares at his phone lest that Bitch Wife Laura of his get a snap of them sitting together and Little Orphan Blondie pets a monkey. I hope they all get food poisoning. I’m so mad.

They need Toaster Strudel the way I need FSU to lose this weekend, I have money on that game too. WHY IS ARKANSAS STILL UP IN THE SECOND QUARTER.

Ah, Little Orphan Blondie’s on a boat with her new buddy, that’s nice. If she doesn’t find Rex and Toaster Strudel out in the ocean with James Cameron I hope–oh, shoot, I was in the navy. I know what that water means. Oh boy.

Well bless Ryan-from-Accounting, he watches Big Tuna and knows how to do a rescue. Church Lady looks happy. He finally touched her, it only took a natural disaster and a whole lot of nagging on her part. Oh, poor Church Lady, you need a guy who actually likes you back. 

Seriously, why does that man look like the subject of them shitty videos HR makes us watch once a year so we don’t get sued? I don’t know, but I’m starting to understand why his Bitch Wife Laura is the way she is. I can’t believe the episode they filmed in Daytona makes me feel for her, but it do. 

(“Doug, you’re making up Bitch Wife Laura in your head. She’s not in the show.” “Well, it’s clear that I missed some episodes, so maybe I missed the Bitch Wife Laura ones.” “No, you didn’t miss any, I promise.” “Are you SURE?!”)

Man, the tsunami got people running like it’s Black Friday Wal-Mart in Tampa. But they rescued an old guy and Daddy Rambo got the stolen work truck working to rescue the kids. Hooray, I guess. 

You know who would have done a better job? Of all of this?

REX AND MOTHER-LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL. But they ain’t here!

(Doug's love for them runs hard and it runs deep, for which I can empathize)

You know who should have been on a beach horking down Mai Tais and getting into Church Lady and her handsy hands?

POOR POOR SASSY PARK RANGER. BUT HE DIED BACK IN WYOMING.  I bet he’d love a back massage from Church Lady too! He’d sass her, she’d sass him back, and they’d make out on the beach while Daddy Warcrimes played the saxophone behind them or something. I support that. I’d like that. He’s got brown eyes.*

Make it work, Star Wars, damn it. 

(Doug has unlocked a new rarepair, I guess: Mayday and Phee? WTF?)

Well they’re hanging out here in Daytona for the time being, I guess. Julio passed out under a tree like a drunk uncle at a cookout. Everyone's smiling.

I’d be smiling too, knowing that REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL ARE ACTUALLY SAVING PEOPLE WHILE YOU CLOWNS STOMP AROUND FLORIDA. 

Stop smiling at Church Lady, Ryan-from-Accounting! Is it because you finally filed HR complaint paperwork or because you filed for divorce papers from Bitch Wife Laura? Why are you smiling?! Church Lady belongs to Sassy Park Ranger! 

(“Doug…Sassy Park Ranger’s dead. He and Church Lady never met. You need to stop.” “IF THEY CAN BRING PALPATINE BACK, THEY CAN BRING SASSY PARK RANGER BACK TOO!”) 

*=I NEED FAN ART OF THIS NOW, please @amalthiaph! Help me out!

[owlight]

Hello :D you are a lovely writer I was wondering if I could request Zoro Sanji and Law reacting to their gn s/o asking if they would still love them as a worm thank you:)

UR a Lovely anon !!!

Thank u for requesting this 😔🫶 an honor to have this request finely arriving on my doorsteps

Warnings: Wormy business

Zoro ,Sanji ,Law reacting to Thier gn S/o asking them " would you still love me if I was a worm?"

Zoro

You were sitting next to him ,both relaxing as the ship sail ,it was a sweet moment for you two ,Zoro was falling asleep slowly and you were thinking of something that's been bothering you since a while "hey Zoro? " You poke his side to gain his attention,Zoro open his eye to look at you " what?" He asks as he yawn "can I ask you a question?" You ask him as you fidget with your fingers a bit nervously,you have a sheepish smile on your face " eh..yeah sure , what's wrong?" You smile at him

" would you still love me if I was a worm?" You ask him with all seriousness in your voice and eyes

....

" what ?" He sits up as he isn't sure if he even heard you right " would you still love me if I was a worm?" You ask again more serious than he ever seen you before ,Zoro looks at you up and down as he put a finger on his chin "...a talking worm? Like a full sized you as a worm? Still as strong as you are now? Your same personality? if that's the case then yes" he answer you honestly,you smile " aw but I meant like a normal worm Zoro!"

" probably not, would use you as a fish bait if we needed it"

" HEY "

You did catch him off guard but for sure he would still love you if you were a worm-human creature ,but if you were a normal worm,he would keep you as fishing bait

Doesn't understand why are you mad about him using you as fish bait ,Like You would be a worm ,u still gotta be useful for the crew 😔

Let's say he didn't get any more cuddles for the rest of that day

Sanji

" would you still love me if I was a-" Sanji cuts you off fast with a fast " yes 100% my love " you huff as you mumble" I didn't even finish Sanji! " Sanji hold your hand with great gentleness as he start talking , there's sparkles all around him as he speak " I see no point of continuing,I would love you no matter what Sugar! I would lay my life for you, I would love you if you were a beast ,a frog ,a beetle, you're my sweetheart,my treasure,my everytime,please never doubt my love for you,I would love you no matter what my Beauty,my Lovely (y/n) " he tells you with full confident and love in his eyes and voice as he continues to praise you and say how much he will love you no matter what shape or form you might take ,You only sighs,you should known better he will make it into a speech

He fr would love you as a worm and would tell you he would put you in the perfect soil and give you good vegetables and Worship your wormy self

Would make you never question his love for you even though you never did,you just wanted to mess with him

Let's hope you are ready for a whole week of him telling you he would still love you as a fish ,crab,cat a zombie...you had it coming

Law

" Hey law-" you get cuts off quickly by law giving you a fast "No I won't unless I am a worm too then yes " he tells you flatly,you stare at him and he doesn't even glance as you as he read the book in his hands " you didn't even let me finish" you pout as you cross your arms " you asked everyone on the submarine if they would still be your friend and love you if you were a worm,I Assume you were going to ask me now , I'm right yo?" He give you a glance as he tells you that ,you huff loudly " fuck You " you stumble out the room in frustration,Law only sighs,you really need to get to the mainland,your new questions are making him question his taste for sure

He would love you if he was a worm too but it's unclear if he would love you if he wasn't a worm ,ngl relationship red flag you should dump him

Penguin literally said he would love you if you were a worm and He would give you good soil ,Law have new standards to meet

He later will tell you that he will love you as a worm only because Bepo told him he caught you planning his downfall by adding bread to his dinner ,He is in your good side...for Now

[bumblekastclips]

KYLE CROUSE: Next, Murdercide626 has a question. "How would you go about adapting Naugus into the games? What changes might you make to the character? Classic or Modern? And what kinds of interactions would he have with Eggman, if any?"

IAN FLYNN: Okay, hear me out, 'cause this is... I'm alone on this hill for this idea, okay? I freely admit that this is- this is the bonkers take, but hear me out: completely remake him as a Zeti. Okay? KYLE: Uh... y'know... y'know... IAN: He's already some weird monster man, it wouldn't take a whole lot to adjust him to still be familiar but be more Zeti-like. And instead of him being able to use his EM powers to control machines, he uses it to mess with the bio-electrical signals in your brain, so he has the mind control angle. KYLE: Hmm... okay, so he would be a modern character then, huh? IAN: Yeah. And all you gotta do is turn that 'N' sideways, and he's Zaugus. KYLE: [laughing] Zaugus! Well, I think you've done it, Ian. You have done it. Good old Zixis Zaugus. [chuckles] What kind of interactions would he have with Eggman, then? Would he manage to mind control Eggman? IAN: Yeah, like maybe Eggman's comin' in to invade and he's, y'know, EM-shielded all of his robots and gloatin' over the fact that the Deadly Six can't take control of them. Zaugus saunters on up, and is like [Ixis Naugus voice] "I may not control them, but I can control you!" Zoop! Mind-grab. KYLE: Boy, that-- IAN: [Mentok from Harvey Birdman voice] "That's taking the mind, Kyle!" KYLE: [laughing] That is horrifying! That's like... that is very- that is scary! Like, I think he might actually take over Eggman in terms of villainy in the series at that point. Hm. IAN: Like, maybe limit it to, like, it's gotta be within eye contact, it's gotta be point-to-point... maybe he can only really control one person at a time. But if you've got the keys to Eggman's Empire, or if you're using Sonic as your personal RC combatant, you can do some damage. I don't know, I think it could work. I think it could be neat. I- I also know it's a big ask of the SatAM crowd, but I don't know. I like it. KYLE: I- Someone- you could make it work! It could work. Someone's going to draw this, Ian. You know they will. IAN: Oh, go for it. KYLE: Let's see it! IAN: Even- you can keep, like, the mutant crab claw on the side as like, just extra weirdness. KYLE: Sure, sure. IAN: Give him back his old tail from SatAM that got forgotten in the Archie books. KYLE: [chuckles] Nice.

--- TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Please remember that nothing that is said on BumbleKast is canon! It's just some guys and their opinions occasionally spitballing ideas. If you don't like an answer, you don't have to take it as Word of God or anything like that. It's all just for fun! ----- This question was requested by @nintendoni-art! Do you want a specific question transcribed and posted? Send the question and the episode date to my ask box! Or if you just want questions about a certain character, send me their name and I will see what I can do!

[isatswap]

(isat spoilers, full game just in case) tell me about typos because oops

Sussed out

TTOS version of Kinda Sus dialogue from ISAT

Bonnie: ...

Loop: "..."

Bonnie: ...Oh, do you want me to start? Bonnie: We did it, Loop! Our journey is over now. Bonnie: ...meh. Bonnie: Looking back, this part was kinda...short, compared to our whole journey.

(...Only short for your party. You don't even remember how long you've been trapped.)

Bonnie: But we saved Vaugarde, Loop! That's something to brag about, right? Bonnie: I bet my sister will be impressed when I finally go back home. Bonnie: It was fun travelling with you, but i still need to take care after her. Or at least make sure she is OK. She is probably VERY confused right now, haha! Bonnie: Although, I might need to continue my travels after this...

Loop: (Oh, you know why, teehee~)

"To find a birthday gift for her?"

"To find the rarest Vaugardian recipe?"

Bonnie: Oh, you managed to figure it out! Congratulations! Probably makes sense because we are a family of chefs... Bonnie: Don't tell the others. I like seeing Mira trying to guess, it's so cute. Bonnie: What's it gonna be next? A silverware set? A golden spatula?

Loop: (You wanna see them laugh again...) "Well, she isn't cooking with these gueses"

(Bonnie makes a pained expresion, but after a second lets out a long "pfffft")

Bonnie: Hahaha! Fine, you win. Bonnie: I'll miss you, Loop. Including your jokes. Bonnie: Even though I never knew too much about you, I know you are a good person. And that is what matters, right? But you shouldn't hide from us this much, okay? We'd love to listen to your problems! Bonnie: You can also visit me at Bambouche! You'll get to see my kick-crab sister!

(Bonnie smiles at you joyfully.)

(You fake a smile with your eyes.)

Bonnie: ...That isn't fooling anyone. What's-

Odile: HEY! WHY IS THERE A LEAF IN MY BOOK???

Isa: W-WHAT?

Bonnie: ...oops, that was me. Forgot to tell her I've used her book for herb drying, hehe. Bonnie: But really, you don't look...happy. Is everything good? Need a snack?

Loop: "...What do you mean? I'm fine, teehee..."

Bonnie: That "teehee" was even more fake than your smile. Bonnie: And I don't just mean now! You've felt off since yesterday! You've stopped being mysterious and sassy and cool like usual! Now it's just kinda...sad. Bonnie: What's wrong, Loop?

Loop: "Nothing!"

(Augh, you said it too quick! Now they will ask more questions...)

Bonnie: ....fine. You could've just said you don't want to talk about it. Bonnie: But don't pretend it isn't there. I notice it because I care.

Loop: *mumbling* "...what would you notice, anyway...."

(...Bonnie...closes their eyes and sighs.)

Bonnie: Oh, I notice a lot of things, Loop.

(...?! Did you say it too loudly?!)

Bonnie: ...I could brush off the fact that you don't pay attention to traps... Or the way you find keys like you already knew about them, especially that Crying Key...

Loop: (!!!) "Boniface, wai-"

Bonnie: You're the person who is supposed to do those things, after all. But I draw the line at the books you've read.

(!!!!!)

Bonnie: See... I might not be as smart as Isa or Dile... But I am the oldest in the group. I feel like I need to look after you all very carefully. Bonnie: ... Bonnie: I am also a chef.

(...?)

Bonnie: Even now I can feel it... This sickly sweet scent around you. You read a book about it here, right?

Loop: (OH NO) "Bonnie, please..."

(You feel your pupils shaking.)

Bonnie: ...That was when I started to connect the dots, as Dile would say. Your sudden change of attitude, the books, the smell... Bonnie: Now that I say it, it also explains why you were unfazed by the spikes in the Death Corridor.

(YOU NEED TO STOP THIS. YOU CAN'T LET THEM FIND OUT!!!)

Loop: "B-but how would I know?!" Loop: "It the first time I'm here, so there is no way I could've known, right? I'm just trying to be cool, haha!"

(Your small laughs are getting pathetic.)

Bonnie: Oh, there is one way. You should know by now, with all your "research".

(!!!)

Bonnie: I wanted you to say it yourself, but it seems like I have to. Bonnie: You have been here before. Just not on your travels. You have been repeating this part of our journey. I guess more than once, even. Bonnie: Did something happen? Did you wish to loop back, just to cancel-

Loop: "NO!"

Odile, Mirabelle, Isa: !

Loop: "SOMETHING DID HAPPEN! BUT I DIDNT WISH FOR IT!"

(Tears start running down your cloaked face.)

Loop: "And I don't even know what happened! We have won! We should have won many days ago!"

Bonnie: Loop, please-

Loop: "And you can't figure it out more than me! Because you can't remember! And I never have the courage to share it!"

(The taste of the sugar...)

(You drop to your knees.)

Mirabelle: Loop, why are you yelling?

Odile: What is going on?

(They all can feel it. You can see it on their faces. Especially Bonnie's.)

Loop: "BECAUSE I THINK LIKE IT'S ALL MY FAULT! AND IT IS, ISN'T IT! I AM THE ONE THAT CAUSED ALL OF THIS SOMEHOW!"

Bonnie: No, wait-

Loop: "And if you remembered all the things I tried to get out, you would abandon me! You would hate me! And, and-"

<Loopback.>

Bonnie: ....fine. You could've just said you don't want to talk about it. Bonnie: But don't pretend it isn't there. I notice it because I care.

(You barely manage not to continue yelling.)

Loop: ...Thank you, Bonnie. But I don't want to talk about it, yes.

(Bonnie smiles.)

Bonnie: See, that was easy! But do get a snack later, you look... pale.

(...yeah, it was easy...)

<Memory of Scent>

"Boniface cares about you. [Increases the effectiveness of healing skills of the wearer]"

[forest-of-a-rising-tide]

► Viewer discretion advised for this comic: Murder, death, potential gore, cultish groups, and whatever else the game spurs on in my head. ◄

"Crab has left his home with a kitten named Nettle in his jaws. The forest they enter is abundant with life and death alike, and Nettle is much too inquisitive for Crab’s liking."

hi! i've wanted to make a clangen comic for a long while now, so i finally settled on a 'challenge' for myself, though im mostly focusing on the story that i've been given by the game and what i come up with to work with flavor text.

this challenge takes place in an unnamed group (as i don't like the current clan name and want smth more solid for lore), and starts with two cats: Crabback, the de-facto leader, and Nettlekit. i'm simply going to develop a story for these two, and draw every major event and moon that occurs in their lives as a simple comic. there will be lore that i add that was not provided by clangen, and just my own added backstory/ideas! any viewers are allowed to ask questions to the currently living and available cats (maybe even dead ones), as i've always been a fan of in-character qnas! just be specific about who you're asking the question to, please.

in regards to tags, all posts will be tagged like so: asks → #rtask updates → #rtmoon out of character/mod posts → #rtooc lore that isnt related to an update → #rtlore character refs → #rtref fanart → #rtfanart if you want to make fanart, you can mention me or use the fanart tag!

◄ COVER ► NEXT ▬ CURRENT

[sasusakucoded]

Smol Announcement: From now on, sasusakucoded's Sunday is sasusaku au day. Yay!

Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to write more AUs and fanfics. 🙇‍♀️

---

Sakura can't believe how she ended up in this situation— marrying a stranger just because of family ties. In the village, her family is renowned. The Harunos lead the food and fashion industries and Sakura's father is considered as an influential person close to the Hokage.

Her soon-to-be-husband-in-a-few-hours is from the Uchiha clan. They are a humble clan that resides in the remote part of the village.

It's her first time seeing the guy. He looks handsome and quiet but the idea that she has to marry him because of a silly deal between her and his great great grandfathers irks her. Their great great grandfathers were comrades in the last shinobi war. They promised each other to marry off their children to merge their families. The problem is both of them had only one child and both are males. This repeated for several generations until a female was born in the Haruno side.

"You may now kiss the bride."

And just like that, Sakura and Sasuke are married.

---

As soon as they reach their new home, Sakura takes out a two-pager from her bag and gives it to Sasuke. "This is our contract."

Sasuke is confused. He thinks it is their marriage contract from the church. He starts reading it and realizes it's a totally different one.

"Let me get this straight. Only my grandfather wants us to get married. My father just agreed because of the stupid pact. As soon as Grandpa is gone, we'll get a divorce."

This shocks Sasuke. Even if he doesn't like the idea of marrying someone he just met, he has made up his mind that this woman is his wife and he has to take care of her.

Sakura is waiting for his reply. It seems that he can't process her plans. She reiterates, "so we just have to wait."

He nods and reads the contract again. The last line says, "do not fall in love with me."

"If you agree, please sign both pages and keep one as your copy."

He signs it immediately and gives the paper back to her.

"Great." She points at the door, "that will be our bedroom. We should still stay in one room in case they visit us. And oh, the contract is between the two of us only. Don't tell anyone."

"Got it," Sasuke says while following her to the room.

---

The following days are tiring. They have to attend family functions that Sakura's grandfather and Sasuke's parents have prepared.

Sasuke is shy around the Haruno's acquaintances. He stays in one corner and watches them from there. Sakura is quick to find him, reminding him that it's part of their duties as a couple to mingle with others. She takes his hand and introduces him to their friends. Slowly, Sasuke gets the hang of it and enjoys learning new things about Sakura through conversations.

In the Uchiha's abode, things are different. They have a more intimate event. All of Sasuke's favorites have been prepared. Sakura is hesitant to eat crabs and lobsters and Sasuke notices. Apparently, she doesn't know how to open them so Sasuke gladly takes a few and cracks them for her. This makes Sakura happy because she feels special and she appreciates the food more because he helps her.

---

Weeks have passed and Sasuke starts to get more fond of his wife. He learns that she likes designing clothes but her passion is to paint. He likes it when she tells him about the painting techniques she use. He's interested of whatever topic she wants to talk about.

Sakura, on the other hand, finds Sasuke nice and kind. She specially likes it when he prepapres food for her or when he does small things even if she doesn't ask him to do them. He's still too quiet for her though. He only talks when she asks him questions.

They call each other "love" to make their marriage more believable in the eyes of others.

Sakura taps Sasuke's shoulder and gives him a new phone. "Use that. Your current one's cracked screen is an eyesore."

"Thanks, but I can't accept—"

"Just take it," she turns her back and leaves. "I'll be at the gallery until later. Bye!"

---

Sakura is preparing for her art exhibit so she spends more time at her gallery. Sasuke decides to drop by and bring her dinner.

He goes in and sees Sakura talking to someone. It is her father.

"—but really? You're going to give me the most basic man and think that I won't file for a divorce sooner or later?! It's so stupid, Dad! I thought you'll agree with me on this!"

"Hey Sasuke, why are you here? Let's go inside!" says Ino, Sakura's bestfriend.

Sakura and her father look at the door simultaneously and see them.

"I– I just dropped by to bring you food." He puts it on the table while looking down. He greets his father-in-law and nods at Sakura before leaving.

"Hey, you're leaving already?" Ino asked.

He just nods and walks towards the train station.

When he thought they're getting closer, it hits him that everything is part of a ploy. They have a contract to follow and he must not misunderstand things.

"Go home now and say sorry to him," Kizashi says in his stern voice.

"Why would I? What I said.. That's the truth.."

Sakura's father leaves knowing that he can't do anything with her daughter's ego. Ino doesn't dare ask questions. She just tells her that she needs to go too.

Sakura continues her painting, constantly making errors here and there. "Did he hear everything? What does he think of me now? Is he hurt? He must be.. Most basic man.. Why did I even say that? Where did I get that term? He's definitely not basic. He's simple, sure, but far from basic. So why did I say that? Well.. Who cares. This marriage is just a phase.. We'll part ways soon enough.. I couldn't care less of what he feels."

She opens the food bag and sees the note.

Don't forget to eat, Picassokura!

She smiles at how silly it is. She also realizes that she hasn't eaten since afternoon. She opens the bento box and sees that it has some of her favorites. She wants to eat it so bad but her guilt is preventing her.

With no progress, she decides to get food from the vending machine instead. "This is what I deserve," she says while taking her first bite.

She enters the house and sees Sasuke in the kitchen. He greets her and immediately sees the food bag.

"Sakura, I'll take care of that," he says while taking the bag from her.

She's hesitant. The least thing she wants to happen is for him to think that she didn't like the food that he prepared. "No, it's fine!"

Too late. He has the bag and is aware that it's still full. He nods and goes back to the kitchen.

She goes to their bedroom and takes a shower. "You're so stupid, Sakura!! That will hurt him further!!"

She's waiting for him to come into their bedroom but he's still in the kitchen. It's been hours since Sakura arrived, so she goes there to talk to him.

"Hey.. I'm sorry," she starts. "I– I said those words because I was really pissed. I told Dad about the contract and hedidn't agree with me at first.. That's why.."

"It's okay.. What you said is true.. A basic man like me doesn't deserve someone like you.."

"No– I didn't mean–"

"It's okay. It's good that you were upfront."

"But I offended you.. I swear I didn't mean to say those words.."

"Maybe I was offended.. But it's no big deal. That's the truth, I can't do anything about it."

"I want to make it up to you. Tell me anything you want!"

"Paint me," he laughs.

His laughter makes her a little relieved. She agrees to paint him and both of them go to bed.

---

Because of that incident, Sasuke starts to distance himself from Sakura. After all, there's no reason for them to be closer with each other now.

Sakura's days are per usual— she goes to her gallery and paints the promised portrait. It's a surprise to her that she can actually paint him without a reference. She thinks of his face when they eat together, or when he sleeps, or when he's doing some chores.

She calls Ino to look at the painting. "It's done, finally!"

"Wow! Sasuke must be really pleased! Looks like he's from one of those period dramas.. What's the title?"

"I don't have a title yet, to be honest. Do you think he'll like it?"

"I'm sure he will!"

For some reason, Sakura keeps on looking at the door and checking her phone, as if anticipating someone's arrival or message. Ino has noticed this and asks her, "expecting someone?"

"No.. Why?"

"You keep on glancing at the door.. Also, I haven't seen Sasuke these days. Did you tell him not to go here?"

"No, I didn't." It occurs to her just now that Sasuke doesn't visit her anymore. Not even once since she started painting his portrait.

This thought remains in her mind for the rest of the day. Now, she can only think of the things he stopped doing ever since that incident at the gallery happened.

"What do you mean he stopped doing things?"

Aside from her dad, only Ino knows about their situation and plans. She's open with her and trusts her very much.

"He doesn't text me anymore. Before, he sends me multiple texts a day, asking if I've eaten. He doesn't eat dinner with me too. He still prepares the food but it's either he eats later than me or he doesn't eat at all. He also stopped calling me 'love' when we're alone. He only calls me that when we're outside."

"What's the problem? Isn't that what you want?"

"Yeah.. But abrupt change is confusing.."

"Your contract is rather confusing! You say you don't care about him and he shouldn't care about you.. But you keep on doing things for him."

"Ino–"

"You had his parents' distillery up and running. You bought new equipment for his football club. You paid for his clan's mortgage–"

"It's not like I paid much money for that–"

"That's not the point, Sakura. You're doing all these wifey things for him in secret and you're telling yourself that he deserves them because he's nice."

"But.. He's really nice–"

"Yeah! Your driver is also nice. Would you do the same thing?"

"Ino, that's different!"

"And now you're bothered because he stopped doing the little husband things he's been doing."

"I'm not bothered! I'm just.. Confused.."

"Sakura, it's not like your contract is something concrete. You can always terminate your self-made contract, you know. I don't know if you're aware but you talk about him almost 24/7."

"I don't! I just talk about him because he's my current subject!"

"Yeah right! 'Sasuke's football skills is top-tier! Sasuke's hair should be the standard for men's hairstyle! Sasuke did this, Sasuke did that!' Sakura, please. Don't kid yourself."

"But.."

"I haven't seen you paint so passionately before. So, there's really something different. Think about it."

Sakura overthinks about it indeed. She never cared about any guy before. This feeling is new to her, so she's not sure if she just misses his presence or if she's really in love with him. Regardless, she's excited to go home to tell him about the painting.

She's about to close the gallery when she sees a familiar car outside. It's her grandfather. It also seems that he's with her dad.

"Dad? Grandpa? What are you doing here?"

"I am sorry. You shouldn't be burdened by the pact, Sakura," her grandfather says as he enters the gallery.

"What do you mean?" she asks, looking back and forth between her grandfather and dad.

Her grandfather sees the painting. "For someone who doesn't care about someone, you sure did put effort on painting this.. Well, Sakura. You don't need to anymore. You don't need to pretend."

"Grandpa?"

"Sasuke paid a visit this afternoon. He told me everything. You can cancel that contract or whatever deal you have with him. You can file for a divorce freely."

"He went and told you?"

Her grandfather inspects the painting closer. "He said you don't deserve to be punished like this. He'll take the blame if people will ask. He said you shouldn't be trapped because of a deal that happened way before your birth. He's right. I'm sorry, it's my fault. I really just wanted to fulfill my grandfather's wish."

Sakura doesn't know how to react. She wants to say many things but words are not coming out of her mouth.

"Starting tonight, that contract is void. You can live in peace. I'll make sure of that."

"Grandpa.. So.. Does he hate me? He didn't say anything to me.." she asks, almost sobbing.

"No, not at all. He said he loves you, so he knows he has to let you go."

"He said he loves me? He never told me!"

"Because it's part of the contract right? It's funny because it seems that he has memorized every line of those rules–"

"Wait, is he at home?"

"Yes, he said he'll pack his things asap so it's easier for you–"

"I must go. Dad, please close the gallery for me!" She gives him the keys and runs towards her car.

"Hey, don't drive fast!!" Kizashi reminds her.

---

She's panting when she arrives. He's there, ready to leave. He's waiting for her to say goodbye properly.

"Sakura–"

"So, that's it? That's the reason you're not calling me 'love' anymore? That's the reason you stopped doing things you used to do for me? You want to rescind the contract–" She can't continue her statement and starts crying while holding onto him.

"Sakura.. This is what you've always wanted, right?"

"Is it true? You love me?"

"It doesn't matter.."

"Is it true?!" Sakura repeats her question louder.

"It's true! I love you! It hurts that you'll never love me back but it hurts me more to see you miserable with me! I'd rather let you go than see you hating your life because of that stupid pact."

"Who said I was miserable? Because of that one incident? Sasuke, you don't understand. I've never been this happy before.."

"You were happy.. with me?"

"I was in denial because it would hurt my ego. I made that contract.. I made the rules.. Then I'll be the one to break them? I kept on telling myself you're just nice.. You're kind and cool.. That's why I like you. But it's deeper than that, Sasuke. I love you. I know it took me so long to realize.. But I can't see myself living here or anywhere else without you by my side."

Sasuke can't believe what he's hearing. This can't be real. He can't process that the woman who despises the idea of getting married to him is now in love with him.

"Sakura. Are you sure? It's your chance to be free again."

"Did you know, I've finished your portrait today. I was so happy. I was pleased with the result.. Before I left the gallery, I put the title on it thinking I'll surprise and show you tomorrow." Sakura takes his hand. "You know what, come! Let's go there now."

Sakura calls her dad to go back and open the gallery for her. He complies and even her grandfather is intrigued.

When Sasuke and Sakura arrive, it's already open. It's obvious that Sakura cried on their way and her father can't help but worry.

"This.. This is beautiful, Sakura. Thank you.." Sasuke says while looking at its entirety.

"There's the title," Sakura points at a small card at the bottom of the painting.

"Love of the Artist's Life.. Sakura?"

"If that's still not enough for you to believe that I love you–"

Sasuke pulls her for a hug. "I'm sorry. I should've told you. You don't have to prove anything, Sakura. Just tell me I'm allowed to love you and I will. With all my heart."

Sakura takes the contract from her bag and torns it into pieces. "Null and void! Sasuke, please love me with all your heart and I promise you that my heart is yours and yours alone."

"I think we can leave now, Kizashi. So, nothing changes right? You guys are still married. Our ancestors are pleased with the fulfilled pact.. Everybody happy. Good." Sakura's grandfather laughs. "Sasuke, you take care of her. That's my only wish."

"I will, sir. That's a promise."

Kizashi leaves with his father. "Dad said everything I wanted to say. Take care, Sakura, Sasuke. We're leaving."

Sasuke is still staring at the painting. "It's really detailed, love.."

"You don't know how much I missed you calling me that."

Sasuke kisses her and says, "let's go home. I have to unpack and organize everything again."

They shared a laugh. "Don't worry, your wife is going to help you."

"You mean the love of my life."

"Hey, that's my title for you! Pick another one!"

[darkwood-sleddog]

I was wondering: do your dogs harnesses ever slip to one side when they're pulling? If so, how much of a problem is it? If it doesn't slip, then how is it prevented? I assume that it has something to do with the shape of the harness?

I was also wondering if sleddogs tend to end up being stronger on one side then the other?

Just to explain my logic behind the second question (and please do correct me if my thought process is wrong!): since the line is only attached to one point at the back of the harness and because the dogs are on one side of the line, I would think that it would cause there to be more resistance on one side than the other, right? So, does this cause the dogs to be slightly stronger on one side then the other? Do the dogs end up becoming 'left/right handed' depending on the side of the line they are on? Or do dogs just naturally have a preference and the side you put them on is based on what they like better?

A properly fitting and properly pulled into sledding harness should not slip to one side. If a harness is slipping around on the dog there are serious problems to consider. An ill-fitting harness can cause discomfort and muscle strain. A dog that is not pulling into harness properly could have an injury, not be mentally suited for the team position they are in, not having a good time or be driven enough to do what is being asked of them, etc.

What's more likely than slipping with an x-back or typical sledding harness is bunching when the line isn't being pulled into properly. Since sled harnesses are one peice and non adjustable, they sit quite loose on the dog when not being pulled into and a proper fit can only be assessed when the harness is being pulled tight. Regardless, the harness should fit quite snug through the chest and around the neck.

To answer your second question, most sled dogs have a side preference and mushers are typically very aware of this. We will try to run dogs on varying sides as much as we can. It's best for dogs to be versatile in the positions they can run in because this allows you to experiment with team formations and find the best combination for the whole team. This doesn't mean that they don't have a side preference though. Sigurd, for example, shows a strong preference for the right hand side and will try to cross the gangline to get there when put on the left, often causing unnecessary tangles. Since he runs very straight when put in his preferred location I usually run him there. With the other two dogs, especially when they are running in lead, I will switch their side depending on the area we are mushing in since each dog has different strengths. Zombie is great at driving the team forward, but gets distracted easily. Putting Slash between her and distractions I know are coming up is a great way to get past them since he is an excellent listener and will often pull her away from distracting areas.

And lastly, a dog running in the same position is not going to develop a physically stronger side if they are running with proper form (pulling straight out from the line, not straining on the neck line away from the gang line, keeping a relaxed and efficient body movement). What does become a problem are dogs that "crab", meaning they pull out from the tug line at an angle. This can cause strength in a particular side and muscle strain so it is usually unwanted and is often an indication the dog is uncomfortable or experiencing fatigue in some way. Structurally, it may also indicates there is a lack of correct balance in the dog in question that needs accommodation (The blog Breeding Better Dogs has a good article on why this movement may occur structurally).

In the short term, it's not the worst, but a dog that does this constantly is not moving correctly, comfortably, or efficiently. A solution you often see to this problem is the use of a different kind of harness, either a half harness like the Howling Dog Alaska Distance Harness (which has a tug that can slide side to side to accommodate different dog movement and ensure there is no harness twisting) or freight harnesses (such as the Non-Stop Nansen Stick Harness) which have a stick on the end which releases the pressure of the line off the hips of the dog. You may also see people using stick gang lines to help straighten dogs. But again, a lot of this is coming down to: Does the harness fit the dog in question correctly? Is the dog moving in a happy/relaxed and efficient way?

THIS is a great article about how the many, many different mushing harnesses should fit and their purposes. As you can see by the wide variety available, there's a lot of considerations be made when best choosing a harness and there is not one harness that will fit all dogs regardless of build. When you have a dog whose harness fit or movement you are evaluating, you will often go through a lot of options trying to find the best combination (a good example of this is that Sigurd used to crab since it took so long for him to grow into his body (years in fact). I tried a stick harness with him and it actually made him crab more. He no longer crabs in a regular harness and runs straight so it was not an issue for long, but i often have to consider his size, length, etc. when buying equipment).

[robertdowneyjjr]

In recent years, Tony has taken using the Robert Pattinson interview technique ie: lying about answers because he’s bored. Fav movie? Footloose. Fav food? Spaghetti. Fav band? Steely Dan

Again, non of these are true and he changes the answer so often people catch on he’s lying, which wasn’t a problem until he got a new set of friends that want to get him a birthday present and if they google anything about him the get…conflicting info. And asking him about what he wants makes him go all awwww no need i don’t need presents. Which is unhelpful

Unfortunately Steve is still too new to the future to catch the issue and give Tony some very thoughtful gifts based off his recent answers and Tony smiles and says he loves them and oops he’s committed

(Also please picture Steve planning a first date with Tony with them watching Footloose and eating spaghetti while listening to Steely Dan. And Tony did not hate any of them but they weren’t his actual fav but now they might be???)

And Steve does find out the problem on his own but makes Tony continue to pretend he enjoys his fake favs until he confesses lol

LMAO oh my god yes absolutely all of this.

to be fair, tony had never really given the press real answers whenever he was asked things that were too personal, even back in his younger days. he was already in the spotlight enough, he didn’t need the whole world to know every single thing about him. but he always had the same scripted answers just for consistency’s sake, and he always had some bullshit reason to explain it all. favorite food? new york pizza (because new york will always be home). favorite movie? the godfather part ii (because it reminds him of his mother’s stories about immigrating to america, and he doesn’t get to visit his grandparents nearly enough). favorite band? abba (who doesn’t like dancing queen?)

but after he comes back from afghanistan, after the ultimate wake up call, he just can’t be bothered with keeping the press happy anymore. he still doesn’t much care for letting people know too much about him, but he also doesn’t put too much effort into appeasing the press because he has other things to worry about. so the next time he gives an interview and the reporter asks him one of these inane questions, he tells her his favorite band is steely dan. then twitter goes wild. his ultra fans pull up the receipts from his past decade of interviews and calls him out on it. “i thought it was abba??” someone tweets, and it gets thousands of retweets. tony replies simply with, people change ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

from then on he makes it a point to give a different answer every single time he gets asked something personal. in 2008 his favorite band was steely dan. he was paramore’s biggest fan in 2009. in 2010 he became the world’s first and most famous directioner. 2011 rolled around and he told some random reporter on a red carpet that he only ever listened to duran duran. then in 2012 he wore a black sabbath t-shirt and everyone figured out that was his “favorite” of the year.

then he meets steve. sweet, wonderful, thoughtful steve, who has finally built up the courage after four years of friendship and asked tony out. steve, who wants nothing more than to impress tony and show him that he pays attention and wants to make this work. although tony had told steve early on that he should never trust what he reads on the internet, steve is adamant about planning the perfect first date. he wants a second date. and a third. and a fourth. you get the point. he needs tony to know he’s serious about building a relationship together.

so he googles. he bypasses all the opinion pieces and the articles that are clearly from gossip rags or less-than-credible news sources. but he figures official interviews that tony gives should be fair game, right? and man, does steve find out a lot about tony and the things he likes. he figures out quickly what he should cook for dinner: singaporean chilli crab (people magazine circa 2009). he sets the table with the loveliest carnations he could find (reddit ama circa 2014). he queues up footloose to play on the tv while they eat a homemade chocolate soufflé (vanity fair circa 2011 and tonight show circa 2015). steve’s done the research. he knows tony will be happy he’s put so much effort into this night.

and tony, well. he doesn’t hate all of those things but they were never really his favorites. his real favorites? his mama’s carbonara. ac/dc. back to the future. sunflowers. but he doesn’t want to burst steve’s bubble. none of that matters, anyway, when he gets to spend time with his ultimate favorite person.

(steve finally figures it out when rhodey comes to visit one day with a box of tiramisu from the hole-in-the-wall he and tony used to go to in boston and tony lights up in a way that he’s never done when eating steve’s chocolate soufflé. he still keeps making the soufflé though, just to see if tony would ever confess)