#please avoid throwing tomatoes

[heartfullofleeches]

Loser Reader and Melan, my Girlfailer Jester Gal Yan. Loser Reader could give less of a damn about Melan's clumsiness or the bodies that pile up as a result of her blunders and doing what she must to keep her biggest fan around. Their brain kinda short circuits seeing this tall ass jester monster girl and as the established monster fucker in my stories, Loser Reader will let Melan do whatever she pleases as long as she answers the age old question for them.

-

"I-I'm really really sorry about your friend! I was just doing knife practice again and I saw you both walk by and I started to panic and the blade just slipped from my hands and-"

As the freakishly tall woman rambles on, your eyes briefly flicker from the bells dangling from her collar down to the lifeless body of your coworker. Blood drains from hole in his back roughly the length and width of a small throwing dagger seeping the lining of your sneakers. It has to be the saddest part of this ordeal - you really needed those shoes for work tomorrow.

You're more worried about this odd woman than him. It's his own fault for spending the gas money you gave him on cigarettes again. If she keeps on apologizing without paying to take a breath, you'll have two dead bodies to deal with. Does she even need to breathe? She doesn't exactly look all that human now that you've gotten a better look at her.... Some type of clown....or jester. It's probably nothing, but her appearance coupled with her height leads you to believe otherwise. Did you genuinely happen to stumble across a jester girl throwing daggers at a wall past midnight? Your thoughts begin to wander away as you stand there. A process some unfamiliar with your way of being might find troubling if they happen to catch ear of what your mind spews out.

"Do they....honk?..."

In the midst of tripping over her own words, the sudden slip of your tongue nearly sends the woman tumbling over oversized ends of her sleeves. She stands upright, balancing her weight on trembling legs as she mutters a meek. "Does..what honk?"

Crap, did you say that outloud? "Hm? Oh, nothing... I was just thinking of some thing I heard about clowns. I can see you're more of a jester, but that falls under the same number right?"

The woman stares down at her shoes. You think so, anyway - it's hard to tell where she's looking with her hat blocking fourty percent of her face. "I...I guess? If you're talking about my nose then uh it does... sometimes"

"I was talking about your chest."

You could've sworn she popped a blood vessel from how her pale face turned tomato red.

"You.... HUH?"

You raise your hands in defense, however your guilt ends there. "Sorry! My brain has a mind of its own. If it makes you feel better, I say dumb shit all the time. If it clears up my mistake entirely, you were pretty sharp with that knife throwing."

The blush of her face dims. Less fiery and more...warm. "You .. you really think so?"

"Yeah. You could probably even avoid casualties if you lift that hat off your eyes.... Listen, I really don't want to be around when people find this guy and I'm not a snitch either so you don't have to worry about me ratting on you. He's your problem now. See y'all!"

Squeezing past the jester, you sprint off into the direction of your apartment - meticulously dodging the glow of street lifes to keep your bloody shoe prints unnoticed till dawn. Alone in the alleyway, Melan reflects on the events that just occurred. She... just killed someone. That alone should terrified her, but every thought in her mind cycles back to you. You're strange. A bit perverse, but you spoke your mind about her.. Was everything you said to her true too?

Dragging the body behind a dumpster, Melan wishes that just maybe you'd become another one of her problems.

One that would follow her through her improvement as a performer.

[cutielights]

AHHHHHHHH! I LOVE UR WORK!!!!!!!!c

If u see this, can you do Rottmnt boys x sister reader? And when I say she’s random, I mean RANDOM

Y/n: Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee i Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee

Donnie: WHAT!?!

Y/n: ……can I have APPY juice?

Donnie: No

Thank u

TYSM LOVLEY <3333 I CRUMPLE OVER AND DIE WHEN PEOPLE SEND IN ASKS LIKE THIS

I’m just putting this as g/n so it can be read as anything and more people are comfortable reading it bc for a while I avoided F! Readers like the plague haha gender dysphoria go brrr

Tw: mild language

Nobody panic. It’s not lol-so-random-xD core.

Rise boys + Random sibling reader (platonic! tcest dni)

Leo

Encourages it

You probably learned it from him let’s be honest

“Let’s poor soup on dads head.”

“Miso or Tomato?”

Giving Raph heart attacks with the shit you guys say

“You’re gonna do w h a t ?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“And afterwards we’re getting door-handles for April.”

“Does she need new door handles?”

“She will.”

Raph

He grew up with this

He is still panicking over the soup incident

He has you, Leo and Mikey sharing a braincell

Wishes you all had one brain cell each

Sometimes you say something that really just throws him off though

Waking him up in the middle of the night just to tell him something

“Crocs are like the Tumblr of footwear.”

“It’s literally five am, please go to sleep.”

“Like here?”

“No. In your room.”

Donnie

Spending your free time annoying him

You guys are siblings that’s basically a free pass

In your eyes at least

“Do you think you could make like a cheap jungle, bigger than like Russia?”

“A, a cheap jungle?”

“Yeah that’s what I said.”

*cue a long rant on why making a functioning jungle wouldn’t be cheap in any way due to inflation and costs and buying the land and the seeds and creating a functioning ecosystem god forbid you want to put animals in there*

“Yeah but like, could you though?”

“Did you even LISTEN?”

He then kicked you out of his room

Mikey

Matching each other’s energy

“I kinda feel like a soggy plate of broken pottery.”

“Mood.”

“With cheese on it.”

“Just like a pizza.”

“Pineapple pizza? Nah, the next step is grape pizza.”

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?”

Embodiment of dumb and dumber

Both of you probably have adhd let’s be completely honest here

Getting distracted at least ten times during five minutes

[skribbyposts]

Another zosan post bc they invade my thoughts every waking moment !! also i'm typing on mobile so this might be weirdly formatted

anyways, hc that Sanji is the MOST TOUCHY DRUNK to ever exist and he's all over all of his crewmates all the time. in addition to this, Sanji is also a fucking horrible lightweight. like.... tipsy after two beers lightweight. Sanji also YAPS to whoever's nearest to him about everything and anything that comes to his mind. Zoro is his main victim all of the time and does not appreciate it (yes he does, hes so gay) and its so funny to the rest of the crew b/c he has to peel a rambling sanji off of him while blushing so much he looks like a really tan tomato.

Nami + Usopp appear briefly here b/c i love their friendship so much heart emoji!!! <3333

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ugh, marimo, get off of me."

Zoro sighs from his position pressed against the edge of a bench, having what is arguably the worst time ever in the corner of some random bar he's been dragged to by the rest of the crew.

"I'm not on you, cook. move your goddamn leg."

"No, you move your leg."

Zoro tries in vain to shuffle away from the lanky limb draped across his lap, narrowly avoiding spilling his beer all across said limb.

The blonde always got touchy when he was drunk, plastering his entire body on the nearest person and talking their ear off for the remainder of the night.

Somehow, it was always Zoro who ended up with a tipsy Sanji draped over him, his breath smelling strongly of cheap liquor as he rambled about god knows what.

Zoro sighs again, resigning himself to his fate as the blond proceeds to hook his heel around one of Zoro's legs and pull himself forward so that he's pressed up against the other man's side. Zoro feels Sanji's elbow poking his arm. He tells himself it's very unpleasant.

"Yknow, you're coming with me to get... uh... groceries tomorrow. Yeah. We need bread."

"You've told me that three times tonight."

"Well, I'm telling you again, you algae head." Sanji lolls his head back to look at the ceiling, using the hand not trapped between them to loosely gesture at the man next to him.

"Nice one," Zoro deadpans.

"Oh, fuck you," Sanji replies, and then rests his head on Zoro's shoulder. "you want hamburgers for lunch tomorrow?" he asks over the loud murmur of the bar.

Zoro, however, does not reply. Instead, he stares straight ahead and tries to focus on the fact that Sanji's chin is digging uncomfortably into his shoulder rather than how his face is inches away.

Sanji doesn't seem to notice, his breath fanning along Zoro's cheek as he prattles on about brioche buns.

Zoro is trying very hard to stay still, internally processing the warmth of the cook's flushed face against his own and sending a silent prayer to whatever deity is out there this will be over soon. He also pointedly does not look at Nami and Usopp snickering over their wine glasses in the corner either.

He's snapped out of his impromptu staring contest with a stain on the wall when he feels Sanji slump almost completely off of the chair, and then suffers a mini heart attack when the blond kicks his legs up on the other side of the bench and straight up puts his head in Zoro's lap.

Zoro stares down at him in surprise and Sanji stares back, both eyes visible with his bangs swept out of his face. They're half-lidded and his face is tinted red from the liquor. Neither of them says anything, for a moment. Sanji's gaze sweeps across Zoro's face, looking for something. He pauses, and Zoro has to clamp his mouth shut because every time he sees Sanji like this he suddenly gains the inexplicable urge to say I've been in love with you for three years, please make out with me, which would be very bad.

The cook's eyebrows furrow, and he parts his pretty, pink lips before mumbling softly;

"...Did you get a haircut?"

Zoro throws his head back and groans. "That's it, we're going back to the ship."

He can hear Nami and Usopp's shrieking laughter clearly, even over Sanji's slurred protests as Zoro chugs the rest of his beer, hoists the fucking idiot up on his back, and marches out of the bar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zoro did, in fact, get a haircut. Sanji should know b/c hes the one who did it lmao. Also, it takes Zoro an hour to walk the 15 minutes back to the ship, and Sanji talks about bread the entire time.

Am i making Zoro whipped for Sanji because i am whipped for Sanji? Interesting question, indeed. Will i ever stop? No.

Ty to my loyal 5 followers i gained yesterday!!! shoutout to yall.

Also i would REALLY appreciate comments about how i can improve my writing style so if you have any feedback please comment !!!!!

okay bye :p

[jar0fhoney]

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 (NSFW) / PART 4 /

PART FIVE (NSFW)

Warning: Mentions of Pregnancy and virginity. piv.

You started Sunday the same way you always did. Wake up before dawn, start breakfast for you and Ma, stare out the window and think about the list of chores you could never keep up with.

“It’s a beautiful morning!” Your mother shuffled past your open door towards the kitchen, “Are you sure I can’t just handle all the work in the field today? Won’t you want to relax before your friend arrives?”

“Mother, please do not blow this out of proportion.” You scolded her light-heartedly, “I’m just going to do my work as usual, and when he stops by I’ll take a break-”

“My baby is getting courted by a big strong orc~” She sang out to you. You followed her to the kitchen. “How did you know he’s courting me?”

“So he is courting you.” She swayed back and forth in front of the hearth, throwing bits of kindling onto the fire.

“Well- I-”

“Y/n, don’t you remember. When I told you about the family that lived in the neighboring plot. The wife told me so much about how strange orc courting was, especially with her being human, and-”

“You didn’t tell me it was a half-orc family…” 

She turned to you with a devious smirk, “Wouldn’t you like to know about a half-orc family.” “MA!” You grabbed an apple from the table (a bright red one that matched the color of your face) and ran out the door. You weren’t really mad at her, but this entire situation was so out of your comfort zone. The only experience you ever really had with being pursued was desperately avoiding Milo for the past two years.

You glanced at the sundial in the garden. Three hours. You had three hours to try and get some work done in the field and shake off the nerves.

-

The tomatoes were a mess. No wonder, this was a corner of the field that had been sorely neglected this season. The sun was climbing higher, and the heat of its rays were beginning to lick the back of your neck. What time was it anyways?

“SO NICE TO MEET YOU- OH YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE!”

Your mothers voice was loud enough to carry all the way to your little corner in the tomato patch. You shot to your feet, craning your neck to see her enthusiastically fawning over a slightly nervous Khargaad. You could hear him nervously chuckling as the two exchanged words.

Well, might as well go save him. You looked down at your work clothes covered in grass stains and mud. Hair was sticking to the back of your sweaty neck. Gross. Probably didn’t smell pretty either.

Your mother caught you out of the corner of her eye and pointed excitedly, “THERE SHE IS!”

You cringed. Gods she was making all this fuss and you looked like you just crawled out of a ditch.

“Hello! I see you met Ma.” You were trying to casually wipe the mix of dirt and sweat from your face, wading over to them through the field. He felt his heart skip a bit when you got closer. You smelled so earthy. And the musk of your sweat was… it could drive him feral.

He started imagining all the ways he could steal you away and worship you. Fill you. Taste you.

“Um… Khargaad?”

He jolted out of his sinful haze, “I couldn’t show up empty handed.” He thrust a basket into your arms. It was laden with fancy imported fruits. “This- This is too much. This must have cost-”

“Hush now,” his voice was like warm honey, “I hunt big game, I can afford it.” He had a cocky little smirk on his face. You thanked him, motioning to follow you into the cottage.

He looked back at your mom one more time, “It was so nice to meet you, Ma’am.”

-

Your first lessons together went just as well as predicted. By the end he was properly frustrated, arms crossed and everything.

“The letters. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s all… mixed up.”

“Let’s just end it here for today.”

He was so cute like this. All flustered. 

He stood up from his seat, being careful to crouch as he easily exceeded the height of the ceiling. “Alrighty, let’s get to work.” He crossed the room in one long stride, pulling his shirt over his head. He looked strong, but not in the way statues are with their lean bodies and taught chiseled muscles. He looked like a man who ate well and worked hard. Your eyes wandered to the slight love handles that peaked over the waistband of his trousers. Gods you were no better than a man, thinking about how bad you wanted to feel him in your hands.

He glanced behind his shoulder, “Where first?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Khargaad.”

“Do you think I’m going to just leave with all this work to be done?”

-

He followed you like an excited puppy to the tomato patch you had been working on. You had tried to tell him that he didn’t need to waste the rest of his day helping with this. But he knew he didn’t need to. He wanted to. And who was going to stop him? Certainly not you.

He started on one end, and you the other, working slowly until you met in the middle. By the end, your hands were red and scratched up from pulling the thistle weeds. Of course, Kharghaad’s were so calloused that it was like he had a pair of gloves on. He gave a little gasp when he saw your sore fingers. “Why didn’t you say anything…” He scooped your small hands into his, as delicate as you would pick up a fresh baby bird.

Every time he touched you it was like this great release. Your mother, as loving as she was, never quite developed a touchy-feely nature. You were so used to it fleeting as soon as it was there. Quick handshakes, brushing against someone in the market. You craved physical touch.

So when Khargaad didn’t let go of your hands. When he held them so carefully and tenderly. So deliberately. You found yourself trying to memorize every little second of the moment.

“I’ll have to buy you gloves.” He muttered, picking out the little needles with surprising dexterity. He took his canteen and went to rinse off the skin. “I can wash my own hands, Khargaad.” You chuckled.

“But I want to,” He blurted out with immediate embarrassment, “Sorry, I guess you could say it’s an orc thing? It’s sorta like… we’re very communal. There’s no reason to do much of anything alone, if you think about it…” He sort of trailed off like he was getting ahead of himself. He paused.

“I hope I'm not smothering you. Maybe humans aren’t like that-” He went to let go of your hands, and a part of you cried out inside. You were tired of trying to play this stoic lone wolf character. It wasn’t who you were. It’s not who any of us are. We all need each other.

“Please, don’t stop…” You whispered to him, thrusting your hands back into his. You uttered the magic words. The words he had been waiting for. He pulled you into his chest. It didn’t matter how gross, hot, and sweaty the two of you were. Or that your mother was most definitely watching joyfully from the kitchen window. Nothing mattered. “Can we go somewhere?” His voice was muffled as he whispered into the top of your head. He was taking long deep sighs, taking in your scent.

“Please…” The need in your voice was palpable. He didn’t waste another moment, leading you to the forest behind your property. “Khargaad… the road is that way.” You motioned behind yourself. “I know a quicker way.” He glanced back at you with that sweet little smirk on his face.

Once past the treeline, the soft light of dusk struggled to breach the overhead foliage. You walked together for some time, before the sound of running water bubbled ahead. He had led you to a little clearing, where in the middle stood a circular style tent. A creek babbled away off to the side. The moon was full and provided plenty of light for you to take it all in. “Do you live here?” 

He nodded, looking down at you expectantly for approval. You grinned, “It’s lovely.”

He snaked a strong arm around your waste, pulling you in. His other hand cupped the back of your head, tilting your face up to his. For a moment he hovered over you, as if waiting for your permission. You reached up to cup his face, thumbing over one of the tusks jutting out of his mouth.

His lips met yours. It started slow, like sipping on a glass of fine wine. Then it was hungry. Like you had both been starved. You were getting drunk off of the needy little grunts he was making, pulling you in flush with his body. You could feel him through his trousers, and it startled you out of your stupor a bit. You hadn’t been with anyone before, and it was bound to happen sooner or later, but this was a bit more than you ever imagined.

It was almost like he sensed your tension, pulling away to look into your eyes, “Let’s get clean.” He had brought his thumb up to caress over your cheek, planting a small peck before jogging to his tent. Watching him disappear under the flap, your mind raced. What if you weren’t ready? What if he’s not patient?

He bounded out towards the stream, beckoning you over. He started to frown as you got closer, like he could smell the apprehension coming off of you, “Do you need to go slower? Do you want to go home? Nothing has to happen. Nothing at all. You are in charge.”

He started unlacing the ties of his trousers. You instinctually looked away, giving him privacy he clearly didn’t need. With the sound of water sloshing you looked back at him submerged up to his sternum. You approached the water’s edge, looking down into the little bubbles churning in the current. “Hey… what’s wrong?” He waded over to the edge, leaning onto the grassy bank. There wasn’t any aire of seduction in his voice, just one of genuine tenderness.

You sucked it up and opened your mouth, “I’ve never done this before…”

“With an orc?”

“No like… I’ve never done this before… ever.” You winced as the words came out. You were a grown adult, this conversation shouldn’t feel embarrassing. But it did nonetheless.

“And so you don’t want to do this?” He didn’t seem fazed at all by the information. “No!” You yelped out a little too enthusiastically, “No- I mean, yes. Yes I do want to. I want you.”

You started to pull at the ties of your shirt, face so flushed it was probably glowing red. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You ripped the shirt off your head like pulling off a bandaid, exposing your chest to the warm summer air. You went to fiddle with the strings of your work pants. He still didn’t look away, and you didn’t ask him to.

And there you were, clothed only in moonlight. Khargaad thought, maybe the moon had come out just for you tonight, to see your beauty for itself.

You stepped down into the water. “Are you sure you’re human? Not a beautiful fairy playing tricks on me?” Khargaad was completely entranced by you, eyes roaming over the curve of your shoulders to the curves of your breasts.

You felt some of the tension ease, snorting at him “I don’t think a fairy would smell this bad.” He gasped a bit as if he had just remembered, grabbing a bar of soap he had retrieved from the tent. “May I?” He asked, lathering up the bar in his hands.

You nodded, letting him wade closer to you. You felt the palms of his massive hands begin to work themselves into your hair, massaging his fingers into your scalp. “Oh-” You exclaimed a rather embarrassing moan, but it felt so good. He finished and went to clean his own hair. “Hey, it’s my turn now!” You scolded him. He was more than happy to let you clean him. As he said previously, it’s a part of orc culture to do things with other people. That includes bathing.

And oh how he loved to see you doing orc things. Like wearing that yellow dress dyed with orc spices, and making those pickled eggs for him. It made him think about how great it would be to bring you home with him, to meet all of his family. For you to find a place in his tribe. He missed home a lot, and now you were a part of that picture. You finished running your fingers through the curls of his clean hair.

He heard the sloshing of water, turning around to see you drying yourself off. He joined you. You cast a quick glimpse below his waist, blushing furiously at his partially hard cock.

You walked together to the flap of the tent. The inside surprised you. It was so… cozy. “Ah-” He had leaned down to nuzzle into your neck, you loved the feeling of his tusks against your skin. He pulled you to what could best be described as a nest. A nest of pillows and blankets. He very carefully leaned you onto your back, “Is this okay?”

You giggled at him, “Yes Khargaad. I will tell you if I need to stop, okay?”

“Promise?” He leaned back on his knees, his olive green skin looking lovely in the warm glow of the lantern lighting the tent. His member was on full display, completely unashamed. The way it twitched in anticipation made your stomach flutter. “Yes.”

He lied down next to you, peppering little kisses in the crook of your neck. His hands began to roam your body, starting with your shoulders and slowly moving down to your tits. His calloused palm grazed over the sensitive peaks, causing you to let out a breathy sigh. He took your left breast into his hand, thumbing over your hardened nipple. He palmed your chest for a few moments more, like he was savoring each and every new part of you he explored. You felt his cock hard against your leg. You shifted your thigh, giving him just the lightest sensation of friction. The groan he mumbled into your skin made you feel hot between your legs. You clenched your thighs together, trying to get some relief.

His hand traveled down to your stomach, caressing the curves and grabbing a soft handful of skin. “Good…” He whispered. You shivered as his hand glided over your hips, so close to your entrance. He reached for the inside of your thigh, pulling it over into his cock. He let out another breathy sigh that left you completely slick with desire. His hand hovered over the mess of hair covering your mound. You opened your legs, giving him permission.

He started by slowly palming you, just beginning to give you the attention your pussy was desperate for. You felt a finger slip past your folds, getting drenched in the slickness. Khargaad shifted you up a bit so he could have better access to your chest. He dipped down, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucked playfully. “Oh f-fuck-” You were stuttering at the pleasure of it all. He grinned into your chest, “Keep making those noises sweetheart.” The pet name made your heart flutter.

He kept gently probing a finger up and down your slit, until he dipped one down just at the beginning of your entrance. His fingers were bigger than your own, but this wasn't so much of a stretch. He slowly sheathed the finger in you, “Tight.” He grunted. He made a come hither motion into that sensitive spot of your inner walls. You yelped out a completely sinful moan as he prodded you a few more times. His finger exited your hole, pulling the wetness of your cunt onto your swollen and sensitive clit.

“Khargaad-” Your hips bucked up into him as he swirled long languid circles around that little bundle of nerves. He pulled off, and sat back on his knees, “Can I taste you?”

It was the way he asked more than anything. Like he was close to begging for it. You nodded, spreading your legs for him. He settled down in front of you, using both of his thumbs to spread your lips apart. You felt the tip of his fat tongue probe your needy pussy. He reached up to play with your nipples, while he moved up to your throbbing clit. He started with light kitten-licks, making you whine and buck up into his mouth. That wonderful tongue of his made swirls and then quick flickering motions over the sensitive spot. At this point you were almost completely lost in pleasure, and reached down to thread your fingers through his soft brown curls. 

You were already sensitive when he started, so you were very close to finishing. You actually yelled when he inserted a finger into you. Prodding that sensitive spot while attacking your sensitive clit; it was making the most obscene wet noises. “Close.” That was all you could manage as he devoured you. There it was, feeling crushed over you like a ton of bricks. You coated this hand, legs spasming. He dipped down to lap up the remnants of your release. Your taste, your smell, the feeling of his hair clenched in your fist. He was addicted.

He leaned back, taking in his work. You had a hand on your forehead and a hand on your chest, calming down from what you just experienced. You glanced down at him, both hands on his thighs. His cock was completely erect, tip glistening with pre-cum. It was so heavy it bowed down under its own weight. “Y/n…” He was trying to figure out what to say next. His cock needed to be buried in your pretty little cunt. He needed to bottom out into you. He wanted to hear the sound of his heavy balls slapping against your skin with every thrust. But he couldn’t say that, though. He didn’t want to push you if you weren’t ready.

So when you propped yourself up on your elbows, legs spread for him, he almost felt like crying. His human mate was so strong. So ready for him.

He crawled over you, pinning your legs over his shoulders. He took the base of his cock into his fist, guiding it slowly over your folds. You were so warm for him. He pushed his pulsating tip past your lips, wincing from the sensitivity. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, but you were completely entranced watching his cock slide into you. His tip found your hole, sliding in but not going any further. He was absolutely strangeling the pillow he was resting his hand on, trying to maintain control. Khargaad was watching you, every little subtle expression. He kept sinking himself into you, stopping when you made the first wince of pain. He was big, and you were so tight. 

“Y/n?” You looked up at him through those pretty lashes. He nearly lost it all right there, just from the eye-contact. You got off of your elbows, leaning down completely. You gave a little nod, still making direct eye contact. Slowly and gently, he worked his way in until his hips were flush with yours. He leaned back, still buried in you, letting you adjust to the stretch.

He wouldn’t last long at all, seeing you like this. Your little face with knotted brows, arms thrown overhead. Khargaad brought his hand to your stomach, rubbing little circles into the soft skin with his thumb. You were perfect. Perfect to take his seed. Perfect for growing a little half-orc.

He wouldn’t yet, of course. Not until you were ready. For you, he would wait as long as needed. But his strange orc hormones and instincts craved it beyond explanation.

He began rocking out and back into you, keeping a slow languid pace. You reached out for him, and in an instant his head was nuzzled in your neck again. His pace started to ramp up a bit, earning little mewls from your lips. Oh he definitely wouldn't last much longer. “W-where…” His breath hitched in your ear. “Huh?” You were too flustered to try to understand what he was asking.

“Going to-” He was hissing and groaning, barely able to work out a sentence, “On your body- ah- or o-on the bed?” His motions were getting jerky. “Fuck- sorry- oh fuck.”

He pulled out just barely in time to empty himself onto your stomach. He fucked his rough fist through the climax, sighing at the sight of his seed coating your tummy. It felt a lot warmer than you expected, and much more… volume. He finally let go of his cock, reaching for a linen cloth and dunking it in a bowl of water he had set nearby. “I made a mess…”

He sounded so guilty, and you giggled at him teasingly. One of his hands cupped your face, while the other softly wiped the length of your cunt, messy from your own slickness. He wiped the cum that was coated across your stomach, being careful not to spill any on the bed.

“You did so good.” He started cooing sweet nothings to you while running his thumbs across your cheekbone, “Wore me out…” He chuckled, throwing the rag across the room. He yawned and stretched his arms above him.

“Do you want me to go home now?” You were all too familiar with the stories women told about men finishing and ordering them to leave. You didn’t quite have the confidence yet, to advocate for yourself. To tell him you wanted to spend the night wrapped up in his arms.

For Khargaad, this question felt like an arrow to the heart. Had he not done enough? To make it clear how badly he needed you with him? He laid down next to you, pulling you close, “I would kill the person who would try to take you from me right now.”

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Here is Part 5 for you lovelies <3 <3 <3 btw Khargaad is living in a yurt, that's what I was trying to describe lol.

I attached a playlist I put together. These are the songs I've been listening to while writing this, if anyone wants to hear the vibes :3

Tagged List <3

@reads-stuff-quietly @loo-looland @sluttygirl123 @beaniebaneenie @blushycadaver @sunndust @whyiamadegenerate @the-attic-of-porcelain @freakyotaku059-blog @youknowits-derea @thoughts-of-bear-undercovers @allthecraftandthings @gruffle1 @kennedyabraxas123 @queenies1x1 @jellyslimesofficial @jasminedragoon @rangoismyname @the-queen-of-sorrows @the-dumber-scaramouche @heddaloddafun @swimmingrascalbatdragon @hellodollstuff @wingedghostpepper @pistachioinfernal @honeybaegle @sammehshark @dij-ology @forgemotherkestrel @wafflefries786

[againana]

So you wanna purge- here are some foods to avoid!

⭐️ bagels, tortillas, hawaiien rolls. That shit will get stuck and you’ll make a lot of noise trying to get it all out.

⭐️ if it’s really spicy going down, it’s gonna be really spicy coming up

⭐️ tbh purging anything with tomato sauce has ruined me so badly. cant eat pizza or pasta without remembering the specific scent

⭐️ yogurt is so fucking vile to throw up but it’s not hard

⭐️ on the other hand, ice cream? so good. if you do it right after, it’s still kinda cold and it doesn’t taste like death! tbh not a bad experience

⭐️ sushi. stay away from sushi. just… take my word for it please ..

⭐️ SHREDDED WHEATS. listen- i was in high school (and cereal is a huge trigger food for me) i thought i could just throw the cereal back up. nO! it feels like bricks of sandpaper! and it’s like you never even chewed it?????? avoid at all costs.

⭐️ anything red is kinda sus bc is it blood? berries? sauce? who knows!

⭐️ if you never want to eat peanut butter the same way, avoid throwing it up. i had to avoid peanut butter for a long time.

⭐️ soda is so fucking weird to throw up. not bad just so so weird.

[shares-a-vest]

Part 1

"Oh my god!" Eddie exclaims, "The gas station is closed!"

"What?" Steve leans forward, squinting out through the front windshield.

"Can you not see that it is?" Eddie asks, his voice laced with sheer panic, "Jesus Christ, you need a pair of glasses," he reaches for the steering wheel, "Pull over. I'll drive."

"Get off!" Steve shrieks, elbowing him out of the way.

The car momentarily swerves to the centre line but thankfully, there are no cars about – the world's most obvious sign that the gas station is indeed, closed.

He purses his lips as he slows the car to a crawl as they move through the crossroad and past Ernie's, a cheap gas station that is the go-to place for scoring some booze without being carded and procuring condoms without judgment.

He has no idea why the gas station would be closed but, considering the universe hasn't exactly been on their side today, Steve checks his mirrors and turns the Beemer around, resigned to an afternoon of everything but sex.

"Wait!" Eddie says, slapping him on the shoulder, the chain of his leather jacket tinkling with each motion.

Steve looks over and they both nod at the same time.

"Melvad's."

– 🍌🍌🍌 –

"Steve," Eddie spits through gritted teeth.

"No."

"Stevie!"

"Dude, you go."

"Steve..." Eddie steps in front of him and raises his hand, balling up his fist with frustration – he even throws in a nose scrunch in an attempt to make his point, "After everything that has happened over the past six months, there is no way in hell I am walking up to that pharmacy counter and buying a box of condoms in full view of half of Hawkins' housewives."

Steve folds his arms, "And I'm not buying condoms right in front of Claudia Henderson!"

He glances at the woman browsing three aisles over, terrified she will soon feel her ears burning and look up from the overpriced tomatoes.

Eddie scoffs, "Oh please, everyone knows you saunter that tight ass all over town. Anyway, I'm sure she'll find it 'so responsible' you use protection."

He uses air quotations and rolls his eyes with such condescension that Steve can't help but reach forward to snatch at his boyfriend's ringless hand and squeeze.

"Come on," he says, tugging him back in the direction of the entrance – they need to get a move on before anyone sees them.

He's sure Dustin will be lurking somewhere, ready to pounce and ask questions and be a goddamn nightmare and do everything he possibly can to make their afternoon even worse.

– 🍌🍌🍌 –

"Forget it," Eddie sighs as he slams his car door shut.

Steve is about to chide him but Eddie's shoulders slump and he sucks back a sniffle.

"What's wrong?" he asks, already knowing the answer.

"Let's just..." Eddie begins, looking forlornly out at the street, "I dunno – go back to your castle and I'll suck you off, or some shit."

"Wow, such a romantic," Steve quips as he fires up the car, feeling a flush creep up his neck nonetheless.

Eddie remains silent, flitting between huffing and sighing as he peels out and heads down the street, ready to scour the town in search of a solution.

The sun is setting now. A warm afternoon perfect for ahem, fucking one's boyfriend for the first time gone – wasted!

"What if I just..." Steve begins, distracted by the large sign showcasing several stores one street over from Melvad's, "I could just ask someone to buy them for us?"

He blinks up at the green and orange Family Video sign and smiles.

"Jesus Christ," Eddie mutters, sinking in his seat.

– 🍌🍌🍌 –

"Absolutely not."

"But Rob!"

"This is why you called in sick today?"

Steve runs a hand through his hair. He knows it's no use lying, or avoiding eye contact with his best friend because Robin knows that he is finally going to do it with Eddie.

... It's just that he had failed to mention that they set a date that also ended up being a perfect summer's day.

He looks around the empty store – it's not like he is needed here, anyway.

"Why could you just – " she makes a scissors motion with her fingers, " – Cut the wrapper open?"

Steve's jaw drops.

"Oh..." he hums barely above a whisper, "I didn't... we..."

He can feel Eddie shrug next to him and murmur, "We didn't... think of that. I... I don't even think Steve owns... a pair of scissors... His... Y'know his desk is pretty... bare."

Steve slowly turns his head as Eddie rambles, catching him making some weird swish motion he supposes is supposed to represent his empty student desk.

But soon they make eye contact and –

Eddie moves first, turning on his heel at break-neck speed. Steve quickly follows, the two of them scrambling for the front glass door with such force that the bell sounds like it could knock straight off its hinges.

"Hey, at least you kiddos seemed to have paid attention in health class!"

Conclusion here

[j0kers-light]

His Lighthouse: Humble Beginnings (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Humble Beginnings

series summary:

Y/n is an aspiring writer living in Gotham City and struggling to find her next muse. Her recent novel is getting all the buzz, earning her far more attention than she signed up for. But when a chance encounter results in her nursing The Joker back to health, will she find the time to write another best seller or will her own story become front page of the Gotham Gazette?

chapter summary:

Joker promises Y/n a night you’ll never forget but when has J’s ideas ever went according to plan?

authors note:

Please don’t throw any tomatoes at me! I am so far behind on my story that I’ve decided to do back to back chapters! No oneshots in between 😤 I’m super excited to see the reactions to this chapter. It reads like a filler, but it’s jammed packed with vital information. Do enjoy! 🖤✨

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

Last Chapter | Next Chapter

"Do you trust me?"

You shouldn't have. Common sense begged you not to. Apparently, you had none when it came to Joker. You just nodded and did as he asked.

The sidewalk outside Tiffany's was still empty but you paid it little mind. Your focus was on the black SUV parked near the curb. Behind it, you could see the normal bustling sight of Gotham. No one dared to cross the invisible line. Just how did Joker pull off his elaborate stunts, the world may never know. It was none of your business anyway.

You blindly trusted your clown and slid into the backseat only to discover that there was no driver.

You hoped that one would join you. Joker proved in the Vineyard that he was a terrible driver.

You didn't want to relive that horrifying experience again. Yet much to your dismay, Joker came strolling down the sidewalk to open the driver's door.

He made himself comfortable and opened his mouth to speak. It took a split second for him to realize that you weren't in the passenger seat.

Joker's work mode activated instantaneously. It was only a short walk from the storefront to the car but a professional only needed thirty seconds to grab you. His mind was racing with endless possibilities to get you back.

In that moment, Joker showed you just how much he cared about you when he hit the steering wheel with a curse spewing from his lips.

He looked a nervous wreck so you decided to end his mini suffering before it truly began. "Joker, I'm right here."

You waved from the backseat and he deflated like a balloon realizing that you were okay. No one took you. You were safe and accounted for.

He was relieved to say the least but his hands were still shaking. Hopefully you didn't notice.

"Y/n.. ya almost gave me a scare! Whatcha doing in the backseat hmm?" He patted the passenger seat in earnest, "I want you riding shotgun!"

You gave Joker a scare? Now that was one for the history books.

His green eyes still had traces of panic in them and it made you feel guilty. You weren't where you were supposed to be; and it caused Joker to panic. Losing you was perhaps his only fear and it was all because you miscalculated which seat he wanted you to occupy.

All of this could have been avoided if he gave you better instructions; however you didn't want to point fingers tonight.

You said nothing as you climbed over the center console and plopped down in the passenger seat.

Joker simply blinked in surprise. "Well. Ha, that's uhh, one way to do it." He laughed and turned the SUV on.

You were trying to get comfy on the leather seats in your silk dress. It wasn't the same Mercedes that he drove in Massachusetts; you remembered the dash wasn't matte and the seats were cloth, not leather. Regardless of the changes, it was a clean ride.

"The keys are clean my boy."

Your comment made Joker eye you sideways. He chalked it up to one of your Blüdhaven phrases since you didn't translate further.

J hummed in that ambiguous tone of his. "Uh thanks? It's yours actually." He turned onto the highway while you proceeded to error 404.

It was still hard to judge if Joker was joking or being serious about things. He always left you guessing.

"Run that back?" You asked. Ah, he knew what that saying meant.

He briefly glanced over at you before his eyes returned to the road. He wasn't one for repeating himself, yet you were breaking that personal quirk. "I'm saying..... it's yours doll. I thought you might want—"

"YOU BOUGHT ME A G-WAGON?!"

You heard Joker grumble about it technically not being a legal purchase but your mind was elsewhere. Morgana was right. Joker was already spoiling you with things. That sneaky florist knew this whole time!

The devil on your shoulder was cackling for days. 'Good pussy will get you anything. Secure the bag!!'

You shook your head so you could hear Joker ramble off the key features.

"It has custom cup holders, heated/cooled seats, annnnd its bulletproof!"

Pause. Did you hear that one correctly? "J, you're making me nervous." What did he expect you to encounter on the road? The Batmobile? You hardly went anywhere to warrant owning a car. J didn't waste time a second replying.

"Good. I don't want you takin' the subway anyyy-more. If you don't li-Ke this model, I'll uhh, get whatever car ya want but it will be armored."

That was his only requirement and you were reminded of the stale air between Joker and Two Face. Things were unresolved on that front but you didn't know if the former district attorney was the person behind the Manila folder incident. If not, then you had two enemies lurking around.

Someone had The Joker cautious. It was a fact too hard to ignore.

Joker had many enemies however this one took things personal and that made them ten times more dangerous. Your safety was J's number one priority. The least you could do was comply with his wishes. That didn't mean you couldn't have a little fun beforehand.

"So, i-if I want a Prius instead?" You led on. "You'd get me one?"

Joker looked away from the road to gawk at you. The man looked positively offended. "I am noT—"

You started tapping the dashboard after looking ahead. "Brake! Brake! Brake! Brake!" Your poor heels were stomping on an imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side. Anything to avoid a head on collision since Joker seemed incapable of noticing.

Joker finally came to his senses and swerved into the merging lane, thus avoiding the sudden congestion up ahead.

The car behind Joker unfortunately collided with the stand still traffic and began a multi car pile-up. Joker thought you freaking out was the funniest thing ever; you on the other hand were too busy questioning why you let him drive. Again.

No mode of transportation was safe if Joker was behind the wheel.

You clutched your head and stared out the window, yet the passing road signs made you perk up. "Are we headed to the airport? Dear Lord, I can't stomach flying after this." You waved at the mess on the highway behind you.

Joker's hand came to a rest on your thigh, right as he passed by the exit ramp for the Archie International Airport. A part of you wanted to yell at him to keep both hands on the wheel but his hand felt nice where it was.

Joker promised you a night you'd never forget, you weren't so sure when that would start.

"Shhh Bunny. You'll see." He squeezed your fears away. "You trust me, yeah?"

He didn't see your eye roll. "That's debatable." You mumbled.

Joker scoffed but kept quiet.

Despite it being dark out, any native knew where this road led. J saw you tense up out of the corner of his eye. A mile marker made your blood run cold.

Blüdhaven 24 miles.

"Joker, t-turn the car around. I don't..." You saw the familiar but foreign Blüdhaven skyline in the distance. "I d-don't wanna be here." You whispered.

It was so close, yet so far. You never wanted to return to this living hell but Joker gave you no other choice. He kept the vehicle on its course despite you tearing up in the passenger seat.

"Take me home, J. I'm serious!"

He thought about turning around, if not for an incoming text message on the dash distracting him. Somehow you didn't see it since you were staring out the window in a panic.

He clicked his tongue and exited the highway, his mind racing to work around this set back. Immediately the SUV was met with the rough pothole-ridden streets you grew up on. There was no doubt where you were now. You were getting nauseous just thinking about it.

"Take you home? I am, silly!" Joker giggled. To your horror, he turned onto your old street and began slowing down. What part of this was supposed to be a good night?

This was a nightmare.

Joker parked on the street, in your old, designated parking spot and cut the engine. You had tunnel vision and failed to hear Joker calling your name.

"I uh, hacked your manager's office to get the address. Hope ya don't mind.. But uhhh nice place! You gonna inviTe me up, Bunny?"

You shook your head in the negative.

Joker's plans were already ruined but you just had to make matters worse by being a stick in the mud. Joker clicked his tongue again and came around the SUV to open your door. He didn't expect to see you crying when he got there.

"No. Nooooo no noo. Stop that, Bunny. Look. At. Me." He frowned when you did the opposite. He was getting irritated but he refused to let you see. All it took was a little patience when you got like this. Patience! You know, something he severely lacked.

Joker sighed and reached inside the wagon to tilt your face towards him.

"Focus on me, my Light. That's it. On me. He's not here. I am, and I wanna see your place. Uh, in an old blog post you mentioned you had a errr, nice view? Can you show me?"

He was pulling out all the strings, and still, you weren't budging.

"C'mon baby doll.." J kept his focus on you but also on the street. Blüdhaven was infamous for a reason and he didn't want you outside for too long drawing unnecessary attention. The SUV alone drew enough.

He had a team assigned to run surveillance; however, they weren't here yet due to the setback. Getting you situated inside was his first priority then he could check on their ETA.

That is, if you cooperated.

You looked ready to faint amid your panic attack.

Joker's methods were a touch cruel however he knew facing one's fears helped in the long run. He never fully understood why you avoided your hometown when it was only forty-five minutes away—at least, if you drove fast like him it was.

You had baggage that was long overdue for unpacking, and he wanted to be there with you when it happened. He wished someone had been there for him years ago but all he got was a bad rep and solitary confinement.

Bottling up your trauma wasn't healthy. This knowledge came from experience and Joker didn't want you ending up like him.

"Y/n, you still with me?"

Joker's voice was muffled by the ringing in your ears, yet you nodded your head regardless. He gave you an awkward hug— you still seated and him standing, desperately trying to get you out of the vehicle.

His actions worked. You sought out his warmth and followed the tugging motion until you were standing on the curb. He half carried, half dragged you into the apartment building in an ironic twist of events.

You were reminded of the time when you carried Joker to your apartment when the two of you first met. History was repeating itself. However, in this case the roles were reversed and there was no elevator. Joker picked you up bridal style and carried you to your old residence. Along the way, you came to and asked to be put down.

You wanted to walk on your own and you led Joker right up to the apartment door. "T-This is me. Or it used to be." You blinked and added, "I don't have the key."

Joker scoffed, "Don't neeeed one." His shoulder made quick work of the door and you glared at his illegal methods.

"J, this isn't my place anymore! What if someone else is renting?"

A lot could happen in a year. You moved out so fast that your landlord didn't have time to fine you for ditching the agreement. Technically you still had a lease here and that much was evident when you walked in. Nothing had changed. Sure it was dusty, but bigger pieces of furniture and some personal items that you left behind were still present.

You lifted a dust cover and smiled seeing your favorite end table, scuff marks and all, hidden underneath.

"Oh. Me and Nia thrifted this back in high school!" You were confused why you didn't take it with you until you tried lifting it.

"Yup still heavy." You moved on and didn't notice Joker moving it near the door for you. Anything you wanted to take back, he would.

Overtime you started to relax and Joker admired the way you shuffled around digging up old memories. And to think you were initially too scared to come up here. His Bunny was so skittish, all you needed was a little nudge of encouragement.

He noticed that most of your finds were too heavy, and it made him think out loud. "Was my Bunny in a hurry to leave?"

You set down a box of things, sighing. "Yeah. This is the first time I've been here since..."

Joker noticed you hesitate and filled in the blanks for you. No wonder you were so against coming here. Joker felt like an idiot. This was your first visit since your assault, and you continued to rub in his mistake.

"I moved back in with Mama and Dad. It took months to get back on my feet. Dad and some of my cousins moved my stuff for me since I couldn't bring myself to come back. It was essentials only and it barely fit inside the U-haul we rented. I moved to Gotham with a fraction of my life. I had to start over with absolutely nothing."

Seeing the space around him was proof of your resilience.

Joker unlocked another piece to the Y/n puzzle. Everything you had today, you earned with nothing but grit and determination. He felt stupid for thinking you were a spoiled, entitled brat.

You were stronger than people gave you credit for. You deserved the world and then more.

Joker came over but stopped short of touching you. He was uncertain if you wanted physical contact right now judging by your closed off body language. However, J thought you shouldn't be alone, so he tested the water to gauge your reaction.

For starters, he dropped his unique speech pattern and talked to you straight. A trend you noticed he did exclusively for you.

"Anything you want, I'll have my boys bring back for you." He moved his hand until his pinky bumped into yours. It made you crack a smile and intertwine your fingers with Joker's.

Such a small gesture held a bigger meaning. You silently thanked Joker for being considerate. After a while you turned to address him.

"R-Really? You can do that?"

Joker feigned offense, staring at your dainty hand looped around his rougher one. The contrast in color had him mesmerized but he heard your question loud and clear.

He let go of your hand to tilt your chin up, and his words brushed against your lips like satin. "Sweetheart. Say the word and it's yours. You really should believe me on that."

J backed you into a wall grinning wildly, until you started blinking like mad. "What's wrong?" He knew that trigger of yours all too well and backed off.

You didn't let him go far. You buried your face into Joker's suit and held on tight. "I'm sorry, just a bad memory here."

Seconds after you spoke, you were deposited on top of the kitchen counter. The surface was cool through your silk dress, but Joker's hands were warm on your hips.

He was quick to dote on you. "What's the story?"

A long one if you were being honest. You weren't up to retelling it, yet one look into Joker's curious eyes made you cave. He was earnest in his desire to know more about you and that included your horrid past.

There was no harm in sharing so with a shaky sigh, you jumped right in.

"Um l-long story short, I was accused of cheating after he saw a post I was tagged in with a fan of mine. He punched the wall, almost hitting me. I was terrified he would hurt me, but he 'apologized' with diamond earrings the next day."

Joker looked up and sure enough, he could see the indentation you spoke of. Someone had tried to patch the wall up, key word; tried. Joker saw nothing but red.

"Give me a location and I'll kill him."

You shrugged J off. The last thing you wanted was Joker killing someone in your name, even if it was your ex. You were trying to forget and move on with your life despite the process being slow.

Joker was curious as to why you hopped off the counter.

He followed your path as you hovered near the sink. You smiled at a burn mark you found there. Your emotions changed like a drop of a hat; he honestly couldn't keep up. You reminisced about your Housewarming party when the same friend Nia set down a casserole dish straight from the oven and burned the countertop.

It brought you back to happier times and you were glad to know good memories were mixed in with the bad.

The discovery lighted the mood but Joker couldn't overlook that this apartment was filled with signs of abuse, hidden in plain sight.

You didn't realize that you were surrounded by the signs until you gave Joker a tour, pointing things out left and right. It was nearing time for his surprise to begin, yet Joker couldn't bring himself to interrupt you.

The fancy dinner he planned tonight would have to wait for another day due to safety concerns. Plus he rather enjoyed following you around and hearing you share stories of your past.

It wasn't the memorable night that he had originally designed, moreover, being in your presence was more than enough.

A shame you were expecting something big to occur. He'd make something up on the fly to appease you.

You led Joker past the barren bedroom out to your balcony. It was the size of a broom closet compared to your massive square footage back at home. You really moved up in life and it showed.

"This is the view I was talking about. I used to stay out here for hours. Just me and my thoughts, planning a future I could only dream of."

Joker whistled at the grand sight of Gotham City in the distance.

It truly looked like a beacon of hope from here especially since he now knew about your old living situation back inside. You dreamed of escaping it all and starting anew, and it all originated from this balcony.

Joker's eyes strayed from the skyline down at you.

His Light bathing in the moonlight. The cool blue hue highlighted your features in ways Joker could've never imagined. You were gorgeous, even if there was a wistful expression on your face that he longed to erase.

Joker tapped your shoulder to get your attention. You turned with a soft hum, but it was cut short by J kissing you.

It was full of passion with a touch of desperation.

You weren't defined by your past. You were free to live out the dreams you created, and he wanted to provide it for you if only you would allow him to.

J shifted to deepen the kiss, but you beat him to it by pushing him away. You said something under breath before clearing your throat.

'Always running away.' Joker wryly thought. He had a split-second idea of handcuffing you to him before he shook it away.

He found you removing your heels in order to climb up the dingy fire escape. And to his surprise you were standing on the ledge, Titanic style.

"Uh... Bun?" His hands reached out to balance you. He was met with your carefree laugh floating in the breeze.

"I used to come up here dozens of times, J." You turned around to look down at him. "It's safe."

A rusty groan followed by a loud pop proved your words otherwise. You yelped when your balance gave way to the beam breaking and if not for Joker's tight grip on your waist, you would have tumbled down four stories.

Thank goodness for his fast reflexes.

"I got ya doll! Don't look down... Don'T! Look.." A dumb order to follow when your head was hanging over the edge. You elected to close your eyes until Joker pulled you back over.

The two of you collapsed back on the safe portion of the balcony in a fit of emotions. You shaking with Joker gently rocking you.

"I got you Bunny." He kissed the crown of your head, holding onto you for dear life. You were nodding along to anything he said in your state of shock. He waited for a while before speaking again.

"I had plansss for us to stay herebuT. Why don't I drop you off at your parents instead, yeah?"

This was his idea of a night you'll never forget?

You refused to believe it. Something must've come up for him to be so spontaneous with his plans. J didn't make you get all dolled up and drive you out of Gotham City for nothing. He had to have something bigger up his sleeve for later.

For now, you feigned ignorance. "W-Where are you gonna stay?"

Joker pulled back just enough to give you an, 'are you kidding me' glare.

"Right. Y-You have a hideout here in town. National threat and all. Um, if you drop me off at my parents, they'll hog me for days. I haven't visited them since I moved to Gotham."

Were you rambling? You couldn't tell. Good thing Joker loved your voice and had the patience to listen to what you had to say. He just repositioned you better on his lap and played with your gold bracelet as you filled in the silence.

He hated that you got so pretty all for nothing. Joker was getting fed up with this coward following him around and threatening your safety.

He'd get to the bottom of that situation later. As for now..

"Then stay as long as ya like." Joker chimed in. He regretted saying it the second it left his lips.

You twisted around until you saw Joker's eyes alit by the moon. He looked sincere yet you spotted his curt smile. The boy was drowning in self loathing.

You called his bluff. "I thought this trip was about us."

"It issssss. I'll uh find something to do while you visit the folks." His eerie smirk made you wince.

"Let me guess you'll commit some elaborate crime that'll attract Nightwing's attention?" Your fingers toyed with the lapels on J's suit. "Please don't stir up too much trouble, J. Blüdhaven is a lot different than—"

Joker's huff cut you off, and a shiver went down your spine hearing his voice drop an octave. "Thanks for the warning, Sugar but that's the goal. I wanT to cause a fuss. Ya see... I have some uh, loose ends, and whaddya know? I brought scissors."

You gulped and rested your head back on Joker's chest. If you ignored his ominous words, then they wouldn't affect you.

That straight up sounded like a hit list waiting to happen. You wanted no parts in Joker's line of work.

After a while, only the sound from the nearby interstate and the feeling of Joker's fingers running up your spine was relevant. Your mind was adrift with imaginary scenarios where Joker could meet your parents, but alas it was too risky.

Not only did your dad used to run the streets back in the day, he still had active connections and would recognize Joker on the spot. Plus, your mom was like the female version of Sherlock.

Joker wouldn't stand a chance. But a girl could wish. And your clown was already ten steps ahead of you plotting ways to make it happen.

He had to make up for this failure of a date somehow.

Joker let you drive the way back to your parents. Not because you were terrified of his driving, (he just giggled at your seething glare when he accidentally went down a one-way street), but the neighborhood was hard to give verbal directions to.

Little did you know, Joker knew exactly where your parents lived but that was a tidbit for another day.

He rather enjoyed watching you behind the wheel. Like a true Blüdhaven native, you drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the gear shift, riding low. You navigated past potholes with ease and your driving skills were far more impressive since Joker held your heels, allowing you to drive barefoot.

His girl was a sight to see, and he told you this at every stop light. You tried to not let J's words make you flustered but with his silver tongue that feat was virtually impossible.

You pulled the SUV a few cars down from the house and shifted into park. The street was so familiar yet foreign, it gave you Deja vu.

You used to read books at the basketball court down the corner and you busted your lip open skating into Ms. Morrison's mailbox one Saturday afternoon a few yards away. It was still bent at an odd angle if you squinted hard enough...

"Everything alright?" Joker's voice brought you back to the present.

"Y-yeah, sorry. Um can you hand me my shoes and I'll be outta your hair."

You yelped when Joker yanked you over the console by the back of your neck. His shaky breath fanned over your lips like a dragon's ire. "You.. are.. noT.. a.. burden, my Light. Never think that." J kissed you in between words, "I'm gonna help ya with your heels, mkay?"

He didn't give you a chance to argue. J was already out of his seat and walking around the back of the car to the driver's side. Joker opened the door and made grabby hands at your feet. You bent your leg so it stuck out the car and into Joker's awaiting hand. His hands were so warm against your skin and it made you shiver.

And of course, Joker noticed. All he did was snort and resume his task.

He fastened your heels back onto your feet and helped you step out of the SUV. The engine was still running but you stared up at Joker, waiting for a proper goodbye.

You and Joker were two idiots standing in the street, just staring at each other. Thankfully it was dark enough so that noisy neighbors couldn't peer out of their windows and see you embracing The Joker.

Now that would be a fun welcome home surprise. You rather not be the talk of town for a second time, thank you very much.

You didn't know what to say so you blurted out the first thing on your mind. "I'll call you I guess?"

Joker hummed. It sounded like an affirmative, yet his hands were like iron bars around your waist. You tried leaning away, his hands simply tightened further. "J... are you gonna let me go?"

An approaching car's headlights lit up the street, and it startled Joker out of his random head space.

He finally released you onto the sidewalk. It was your cue to walk to the door, even if you didn't understand Joker's odd way of saying goodbye. He was still staring as you headed up the stoop. He was acting weird, yet you chose not to dwell on it too much.

Nineteen knocks later and your mother answered the door in her bathrobe wielding a bat. The sight made you arch an eyebrow.

"Who the f—Y/n that you? MY BABY!" She dropped the bat to sweep you up into her arms. "Oh! Do you know what time it is?! Honey! Our baby is here!!!"

Your dad was already making his way down the hallway loading his handgun. Just what time was it anyway for this type of greeting?! You had no clue. The second dad saw you standing in the doorway, his entire demeanor changed, and he concealed his weapon.

It was a reunion scene straight from a hallmark movie and Joker rolled his eyes after seeing the door close with you safely inside. His eyes never strayed from the front door as he made a phone call.

"501 Dorset. Three friendlies. 24/7 watch." He hung up before driving away.

It wasn't the memorable night he planned by any means, but seeing your heartfelt smile while reuniting with your parents would have to suffice. His Light was safe enough for him to go out and get some answers.

He wanted to know more about your past, and your hometown was filled with leads. All he needed was someone who would itch his ears.

The following morning was just like any other in the Y/L/N household. Your mom cooked breakfast and the heavenly smell floated up the stairs and roused you awake. You were always the last down. Somethings just never changed.

Dad was reading the second page of the newspaper by the time you shuffled down the stairs still in your pjs and bonnet.

"Morning, sweetheart. You hungry?" Mama asked, already piling food onto your favorite plate and sliding it on the table. You thanked her after saying grace and grabbed a fork.

At least your dad waited until you had scarfed down half the plate to start his interrogation.

"How did ya get here so late? I hope you weren't out alone." He rubbed his arm where your mom hit him with her spatula. She was thinking the same thing! Why keep it hush?

He had already called in from work to spend time with his girls. It was a rare visit indeed, and he wouldn't miss it for the world. Luckily, your mom also had the next few days off from the hospital.

They had all day to get some answers.

You choked on your eggs. "Um, a... um friend d-dropped me off." You focused your eyes on the horizon in your coffee mug.

"Teh. You mean the shady lookin' friend in the all black G-Wagon?" He pestered. Your mom turned the stove off and came over to the table with her own plate piled high.

"G Wagon? Should I know what that is?" Your mom asked out loud. You smiled watching dad hold out a chair for her and then push her up to the table. Ugh, they were so cute it gave you a toothache.

He kissed her forehead before sitting back down, "It's the obvious choice with armored vehicles. That or a Rover. Are you keeping your head on the swivel?" You noticed the gleam in his eye and the hidden message behind it.

"I'm not in anything dad, I promise. It's just a friend."

He nodded; content for now until your mom spoke up, pointing her breakfast sausage at you.

"At that time of night, a friend would've walked you up dear. Or at least came in to say hello. They got any manners?"

She had a point and you winced in hindsight. Manners were a big thing to your family. You stammered an excuse. "Yes ma'am.. but.."

"Is this that same Prince Charming fellow Dick was going on about at dinner?"

Bruh, your dad was on your neck! There was no time to breathe! You never lied to your parents before and you certainly weren't about to start now. You pushed your egg whites around on the plate and caved.

"Um... yes?" You knew their reaction would be instant.

"AND HE DIDN'T COME IN 'N SAY HELLO?!" Mama cried, followed by your dad rubbing his temples. Well, this wasn't good.

How could you get out of this barrage of questions and paint Joker in a good light? Not like he'd ever meet them, but still you wanted him to have a good rapport with your family. "Mama, he's like really shy around others.."

You knew you said the wrong thing when dad smacked his paper down on the table. "What grown man is shy, Y/n? Ain't you into mature men?"

You pulled a face and glanced at your mother.

She snickered and bit into her toast. There were no secrets, and you were open about everything to them, but it was still awkward to discuss your preferences in men with your parents.

"Um yes dad... I am. B-but, in this situation, just..." you took a deep breath, "Could you please respect his boundaries?"

"Will his boundaries allow us to meet and judge if he's good enough for our Y/n/n?" Mama argued.

And that's where you drew a blank.

Realistically you knew Joker would never meet your parents, however staying quiet would only rouse their curiosity. You had to come up with some sort of answer and fast. Then you remembered the mother-daughter conversation you had with Ma back at your place. A lightbulb went off in your head.

"I'm not sure Mama. Remember I told you, it's not really a permanent relationship. If you want to meet hi—"

"Whatchu mean it ain't permanent? Is he stringing you along? Do I need to call your uncle?" Your dad asked.

You paled. "God no." That's the last thing you needed in your chaotic life.

Even your mother was on edge. "Honey, I doubt it's that serious, right Y/n? No need to get... them involved. Just you wait! Our daughter's got good taste. This mysterious man will come around." She nodded once and that was the end of that.

You exhaled in relief, but the weight of her words sank to your gut.

You didn't have good taste at all. You didn't have the heart to tell your family you were dating the most dangerous criminal in the country or the fact that you were uncertain of the outcome. Would Joker let you walk away from this relationship alive, or would you be another one of his nameless victims, lost to time? Something told you it would probably be the latter.

It was a lot to think about over breakfast. A lulling silence settled over the kitchen until your mother broke it with her cheery voice.

"Oh! Y/n! Since you're here, why don't we go out as a family?"

It was the least you could do, so you swiftly replied.

"Yeah sure Mama. I need something to wear though." You played with a loose thread on your pajama pants. After the shock of you being on their front stoop wore off, Mom and Dad ushered you inside and caught up on lost time, despite it being the dead of night.

Mama commented on your beautiful outfit and you asked to change into something more comfortable before continuing the family chitchat. You donned an old high school spirit shirt and the threadbare pants that you wore now.

The three of you talked for hours until sleep out won the excitement. Now as for going out in public, you weren't so sure you had anything suitable left in your closet upstairs.

"Well, I think I have something that could fit you, at least till we get to a store. It's nothing like your fancy designer clothes." She thought back to your pretty dress that you came in wearing. She hadn't seen you dressed up in ages!

Which reminded her. Your mom turned to your father, "Do you have any plans for today, honey?"

"Nah. I wanna tag along with my two favorite girls. All I'm askin' is to be fed. How about.. we go to Vincent's later? You remember their brown butter and sage gnocchi? Man, you love that stuff, Y/n/n." He scratched his neck, hoping he didn't ruin the moment. Even your mother held her breath at the mere suggestion.

You tensed for a second but nodded. "Omg, yes! I've been craving it actually!" You admitted. Mom reached across the table to grab your hand.

"Will you be okay going there dear? We can always order take-out.."

"I-I think I'll be okay." You caught the hesitant look your parents gave each other. "Seriously. It's cool. I can't condemn Vincent for someone else's actions. Plus, his food is too good to boycott." You squeezed her hand back. I'll be okay.

"Well that settles it. Everyone get ready and we'll hit the towns!"

A day out with your parents was just what the doctor prescribed.

Downtown Blüdhaven was just as you remembered it. Granted it was just as bad as Gotham, (if not worse) you felt a sense of comfort walking around. Perhaps because you knew the people here. You shopped at that drug store for years and knew the workers therein. You and some old school buddies accidentally broke the window at that diner on the corner.

It was nostalgia at its finest, only downside was that your success in Gotham followed you home. You were spotted walking around and by midday, your mom had to say something.

"Sweetheart! I didn't know you were so... famous." She was awestruck when a group of teenagers squealed and asked for your autograph inside the mall. You just smiled, signed their items, and even took a selfie with them—as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Yeah well.. I'm a successful author mama. It's kinda part of the job." Dad was skeptical but he enjoyed acting like your bodyguard for the day and he took his job very seriously.

The two bodyguards that Joker officially assigned over you simply rolled their eyes but didn't dare talk down to your father figure. They both shared a look and passed along a message to J as to who your father was.

To avoid any future run ins with fans, you decided to make a quick post online. Dad guided you over to a nice backdrop and you whipped out your phone.

"Hey hi everyone! I'm back home, taking a break if you will with the 'rents. My adoring mother and father," you flipped the lens to show your mom hiding behind dad. Dad gave a weak two finger salute in her stead.

Your bell like laughter was captured on camera. "I forgot; she's camera shy. But um.. Yeah! I'm in Blüdhaven for the day super casual, so please be mindful of my privacy. Love and kisses!"

You hit send and glanced up hearing your dad's soft laugh. "Look at my Y/n overcoming her anxiety and talking to people!" He was about to nuzzle your hair, but Mama swooped in to save the day. "Not on the twist out!!"

Your hair was looking bomb after she gave it some much needed blue magic moisture and love this morning. She was protecting her masterpiece with an iron fist.

Dad rolled his eyes and tossed his arms around both you and Mama's shoulder. "I think it's time I fed my girls. Who's hungry?"

Your stomach cried out the loudest and you slapped a hand over it, embarrassed. And on that note, it was time to head out.

The restaurant wasn't too far of a walk, but you could feel a change in the air. You noticed the street sign and shivered. Highland and Bicchieri. It gave you the ick.

"We can go somewhere else if you're not ready, Y/n."

It didn't matter which one of them said it, your parents were a collective unit whenever it came to your comfort. Dad kept his distance all day, but you shocked him by initiating physical contact. It made him happy knowing you were healing but he couldn't help but worry that eating here would be counterproductive.

You hugged his arm closer to you for support. "I'm alright. I'm not going to boycott Vincent's food just because of one bad apple. I'm hungry! Let's go!" With a nod to yourself, you entered the building—leaving them outside.

"I got a bad feelin' about this." Mom sighed. Your dad silently agreed.

They walked in right as you were being ushered back by the hostess. "Right this way." She nodded at your parents and guided the three of you back to a cozy area of the restaurant.

Exposed brick and antique lights were the theme throughout. The building itself was one of the founding structures in the city, dating back to the 1900's and the Bicchieri family owned it for almost all of its history. If these walls could talk...

Menus were handed out and the hostess bid the three of you a nice meal before leaving.

Everything was going smoothly until a waiter came over to start out the table and locked eyes with you. "Y/n?"

Of all people to run into, just your luck. "H-Hey Rebekah."

And of course she was eating up your discomfort. "Wow. I thought you'd never step foot in Blüdhaven again. Lemme guess. No one believed your sob story in the big city, and ya came crawling back home?" She scoffed under her breath. "What can I get ya? Disappointment with a side of attention seeking whor—"

"We'd like a different waiter that's what you can get us. I don't got an appetite for your f___king attitude." Your mother said on your behalf.

Rebekah rolled her eyes and walked off. A table across the way gasped as in disbelief at what they just heard and started mumbling amongst themselves.

Dad was trying to calm your mother down, he did not want her making a scene, and you slid further down in your seat, regretting everything.

This is exactly why you never came back home. There was no escaping the backlash.

It was like dad sensed your brewing tears. "We can leave if you want sweetheart. Mama is right, we don't have to take their s__t." He grumbled more under his breath; you didn't care. You just shook your head.

"We're on his family's turf, I should've expected this. I just want to eat and—"

The restaurant exploded into absolute chaos mid sentence.

Multiple men stormed the place demanding everyone shut up and stay seated. Your dad ordered you and Mom to stay calm despite the goons going table to table threatening everyone with guns. You were a ball of nerves already, but you listened to your father's soothing words.

He was a veteran to these sorts of things. If he told you to do something, it was for the best. His wisdom was golden in your opinion.

None of the goons made it to your table yet, which you were grateful for, however much to your horror, Joker strolled in followed by Frost protecting his rear. It was something straight out of a night terror.

You never saw Joker in his element—and it was obvious he was a completely different person in public. He carried an air of fear that made the warnings that news anchors always drowned on about, seem tame.

He is heavily armed and extremely dangerous. We ask the public to stay far away if found within the same vicinity as The Joker.

Up until today, you only seen Joker as a caring, silly roommate, and an even better lover. He was never a danger to you—at least, that you knew of, and he never caused you harm that he didn't immediately regret.

The man dressed in a signature purple suit, stalking the restaurant was unrecognizable to you. You didn't know his motive and that made you tremor in fear.

You whimpered and hid in your father's arms—narrowly avoiding being seen by Joker as he glanced in your direction. He flailed his arms at the lack of service. "Cmon... I just wanted a table." He said before demanding for the manager.

Even his voice sounded different. Had it always been so sinister? It made the hair on your arm stand on end.

A man came out and by smell alone, you knew it was Vincent Bicchieri himself. You could smell the garlic and authentic cigars from across the room.

You couldn't bear to look him in the eye. They reminded you too much of his nephew's. And they both had the same pompous attitude. "Whaddya want freak? Did ya get lost on the highway?" Vincent joked. No one laughed along.

Joker kissed his teeth and glossed over the menu that your waitress; Rebekah handed him. He skimmed over the options before he suddenly grabbed Vincent by his gold chain.

"I'm a looking for someone. Someone... veryyyyy special. You ahh, Ital-i-ans are quite family oriented, no?"

"What's it to ya, freak." Vincent spat out.

Joker took a deep, long breath and you could see his fingers twitching, a clear sign that he was agitated. You knew he hated being called names and this blatant disrespect was probably eating at him. Frost noticed the same thing and flanked his Boss, waiting on a command.

The other goons were left to their own devices moseying around the restaurant. You were too busy watching Joker to notice that one of them had finally approached your table.

Joke licked his scars while rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. "Ok-aaaaay. Let's just cut to the chase, hmm?"

You covered your mouth as Joker took out a switchblade and slit Vincent's throat. His body fell to the floor in a rapidly spreading pool of blood. Women and children were screaming and Joker's goons were ordering them to shut up again. The thug passing by your table caught sight of you despite your father trying his best to shield you and Mom.

"Pretty daughter you got there." The henchmen smirked. Your father wasn't having it and politely warned the boy. "Back off son."

"I ain't ya son."

You knew this wouldn't end well when the crazed henchman grabbed hold of you.

Your instincts were screaming at you to say something, (to cry out for J, anything) but your throat sealed shut in fear. Being quiet was your default in scary situations but you weren't alone today. In the den of chaos, you heard both your parents cry out your name.

You didn't hear Joker's footsteps; you just happened to see his green hair out the corner of your eye the moment you opened them. He must've dyed it overnight, you noted sourly.

"Is there a f__king problem?" The restaurant was promptly silenced by his ominous sentence.

And rightfully so. Joker sounded like the devil himself. You almost felt bad for the poor guy touching you. How was he supposed to know the error in his ways if you were a secret?

"Uh no, Boss? I-I'm not sure Boss."

Case in point.

"LeT. Her. Go." Joker's eyes fell to his henchmen's grip on your arm. If looks could kill.. well. Joker had a thousand plus ways to murder the fool.

His green eyes had never looked more venomous and they glowed with promises of carnage. The message was well received.

The guy let go; and you roughly fell back into your seat. Your gaze naturally landed on Joker knowing that aggression would set him off even further.

The Joker you knew would not let anyone mistreat his Light.

Unfortunately, there was nothing of the man you cared about standing next to you. Not once did he look your way. Joker didn't trust himself to. One look at you would jeopardize everything.

If he turned and saw the terror swimming in your e/c eyes, his Joker persona would crumble like the Berlin Wall. He would devote himself to calming you down.

The great Joker would fall to his knees and kiss each tear away, begging for your forgiveness and he would do it shamelessly. Right in front of your parents no less.

F__k, they were right there! All he had to do was bend down and claim your lips for all to see and the truth would be out.

Joker would expose his biggest secret and have zero regrets. The only downside was you. You would suffer the most if J went public with his Light.

He couldn't risk it. No. He couldn't look. He had to pretend you were nothing to him. This was how he protected you. You. Didn't. Exist. You were an innocent civilian caught up in the crosshairs. Joker did not know you. And that happened to be the hardest task he'd ever faced.

Frost was on guard near the door just waiting for Joker to slip up. The second Frost saw you; he knew they were f__cked. Joker was gonna ruin everything being a simp.

Something had to be done before Joker and his unpredictability acted out. This scenario called for a distraction and what better one than chaos?

Joker shot his own henchmen and drowned out the sound of your startled scream with a theatrical gasp. It all happened in the blink of an eye.

He inspected the gun as if it accidentally went off on its own. "Oops." His sinister laugh was definitely forced. Only you and Frost could tell.

Unfortunately, Joker underestimated the power you held over him. You were like a magnet, beckoning Joker to give in with your natural charm and beauty. He always said your tears would be his undoing—that turn of phrase would hold true today. Much to Frost's and Joker's own dismay, he caved.

He looked at you.

He couldn't stop himself, he had to see you. But he would never forget the sight of your e/c eyes widened in terror at him. How it tortured him inside.

For once in his life, Joker felt ashamed.

Your light was shining on him and exposing his pitch-black soul. His eyes quickly averted down to the table where your menu, now splattered with blood, lay.

He gestured at it, hoping no one noticed his hands shaking. "You should uh try the ahh, brown butter gnocchi. I hear it's to die for."

You were speechless hearing Joker stumble over his words and not in his normal calculated way.

J nodded at your parents, who were frozen at the sight of him talking to you. "Enjoy your meal."

He would never admit it to anyone, but he almost tripped on his henchman's corpse trying to get away from you. A second longer in your presence would have ended in the national headline.

The Joker Brought to His Knees by a Woman.

Joker's heart was beating out of his chest and it took him a second to compose himself back into character. God, you really were his greatest weakness.

Joker passed by a petrified family of four table and swiped the wife's drink mid stride. The soda did little to quell his nerves. He couldn't get your eyes out of his head. The image was forever seared into his brain. He never wanted to be the villain in your eyes. He failed you in so many ways tonight. He had to get out of here before anything else went belly up.

Why did he come here anyway? Great, you made him forget his main objective!

Joker picked up movement out the corner of his eye and quickly locked eyes with Frost. The brute spun his finger in a circle. 'Wrap it up.'

Everyone could hear the sirens in the distance. Too little too late, but help was on the way. Joker grumbled to himself and was making his escape when he remembered one small slight.

The staff were screaming and ducking for cover when Joker and his men burst through the kitchen area, looking for the exit. Joker had no intention of bothering them until he poked his head back inside with a polite smile.

"Pardon meeee. Which one of you is... Rebekah?" He already knew but where was the fun in that? Frost was behind him, telling him to hurry it up.

J didn't have the patience to tell him to shove it. He had a score to settle. Joker grinned watching the tall, mixed girl raise her hand in fright.

"Lovely!" Joker shot her in the head before anyone could question his intentions. He admired his work with a cheekily grin. The stunned staff didn't dare move and thus suffer the same fate.

The clown was completely insane.

The terrifying sight was broken up by someone yelling, "J, we gotta go!" Joker frowned at his fun being cut short, yet he heeded Frost's urgent cry. He kicked out the back door and escaped into the night.

Out front, the customers were being rescued by policemen arriving at the restaurant. People were terrified, but this was Blüdhaven. Things like this happened a dime a dozen with a lot more casualties.

Although no one was more traumatized as you. By the time local police officers reached your table, your knuckles hand turned white. Your grip on your seat was the only thing that kept you from launching yourself into Joker's arms.

Despite your fear, you craved his comfort. You wanted the Joker you were falling in love with to hold you—not the scary clown that just left dead bodies in his wake.

Speaking of, you tried your best not to notice the dead man lying near your feet. You couldn't find any footing with the amount of blood under your heels.

Anything else was a better sight yet your eyes landed on the bloody menu right in front of you. The majority of it was illegible now except for the suggestion Joker gave you.

You were disturbed by how he knew what you wanted. It was in that moment you noticed a table within your line of sight was empty. You staunchly remembered two men sitting there before things went haywire.

How could you be so ignorant? Of course your security detail was feeding Joker intel.

Your dad was asking if you were alright, but he sounded far far away. You honestly couldn't hear anything, your ears were ringing so loud.

"I-I think I'm gonna be sick." You mumbled before you passed out cold.

The to-go box full of gnocchi sat heavily on your lap the entire ride back home.

Your parents thought they were slick stealing glances at you; as if you wouldn't notice, yet you could sense their pity in the air. It wasn't their fault. The wonderful day out with family had ended in disaster and you had only your lover to blame.

Was it a coincidence that Joker crashed the same restaurant you were dining at? You weren't so sure after witnessing the genuine shock on Frost's face when the two of you locked eyes.

J didn't expect you to be there. But why was he there in the first place racked your brain.

You had a hunch, and if you were right, the logic behind Joker's visit made you sick to the stomach.

Your head was already throbbing from the lack of nourishment plus the blunt force it suffered when you hit your head fainting. Dad swore that he tried to catch you; Mama wasn't convinced.

No one was in a good mood after giving statements to the police, and the three of you walked to the front door like a funeral party.

The to-go box, courtesy of the remaining staff, (you suspected it was Joker's doing) was tossed onto the kitchen counter when you walked inside. All you wanted to do was wash your face, secure your hair, and crawl into bed in that exact order. You had no other interests tonight.

Mama had a different agenda.

"Y/n, do you—"

You didn't mean to be rude but the last thing you wanted to do was talk. You talked way too much to investigators at the scene. Your mom jumped when you slammed your bedroom door right in her face.

She sighed and glanced at her husband, who simply shook his head, stating he was off to take a shower. Some help he was.

She didn't want you distancing yourself, especially after such a triggering dinner, so she tried again. "Baby... can you please open the door? I can help you with your hair?"

A 'go away Mama' was weakly heard through the door. The doorknob wasn't budging either when she tried turning it. Back to old habits. You were isolating yourself and as such, she felt as if she failed as a mother.

"Alright, that's okay. We're down the hall if you.. if..." All the air in her lungs left her mid sentence. "Get some sleep, Y/n/n."

You didn't hear Mama outside your door. You were distracted by your phone lighting up with an incoming call.

The assigned name made you shiver and for once, not in a good way. Should you let it ring to voicemail? You gnawed on your bottom lip debating the consequences. In the end, your thumb hit the accept button before you could regret it.

He could hear you breathing but not much else. Silent treatment it is then. He braved the unknown and spoke first.

"You alright?"

That was his intro? You didn't know what you were expecting him to say but it wasn't that. You choked out a dry laugh and stared at the black walls of your childhood bedroom.

The full wall of pictures held so many memories, it was like viewing your life in the third person. From middle school selfies to poetry night with the club, to prom, and then graduation—everything was there in stunning clarity. Except for a noticeable gap in time. The dark paint had chipped from where you ripped photos off the wall in anger. A blimp of your life, torn from your wall stared back, taunting you.

You'll never forget the pain you experienced that day. You vowed to not let another man hurt you.

It gave you the motivation to reply. "No."

Joker hummed and you heard something metallic clicking together in the background. "I'll come get—"

"I wasn't expecting you to kill someone in front of me today." You muttered. Joker didn't seem phased by the sudden change of subject, although it took him a second longer to respond.

"If I'd known you were there..."

"Oh you what?" You sneered, "You wouldn't have killed them? Yeah right. Or or... maybe you would've waited until I was gone to unleash your madness! You really think that shielding me from your line of work masks the fact that you still do it? I know who you are. I know what you do... It's just... getting a visual reminder is..." Your voice cracked at the end with a wet sob.

"Jarring?" Joker suggested.

Mind the fact that this was your first phone call with Joker, he sounded vastly different than the murderous clown you encountered back at the restaurant.

This Joker loved you; you could tell by the lack of his unique speech pattern. He spoke softly and from the heart. His sigh however was strained, and you noted that he sounded a tad bit exhausted.

It was Joker's turn to change the subject. "You looked beautiful tonight. Sorry I couldn't tell you in person, Princess."

In any other situation that nickname would've stirred butterflies in your stomach. You found a pretty printed two-piece outfit while out at the mall to wear for the day. The jewelry and heels you came to Blüdhaven in matched the ensemble perfectly. A shame Joker splattered blood all over it.

"I know what you're doing Joker." You whispered. The walls at your parent's home weren't soundproof unlike in your penthouse, so you had to be careful. "You won't distract me from the truth."

"B-Bunny.. I don't—"

"Yes you do know. Please... I am begging you. If you claim to l.. ahem, l-love me at all, don't do this. Some things are best left in the past. Finding him will change nothing."

He just didn't understand it! Why weren't you demanding justice or better yet cold hard revenge? Victims were usually angry at their aggressor. You were apathetic. If you weren't going to express anger, Joker would on your behalf.

"He deserves to die for what he did to you. If you'll let me..."

Joker stopped talking when he heard a sniffle. The power your tears had over him should be academically studied. And that same power resonated when you responded bitterly in J's ear.

"What I want you to do is forget that anything happened! No one in this stupid city believes anything did, so... let it go, J. Please. Angering the Bicchieri's will lead to nothing but violence and dead ends. No. One. Cares! Why should you?"

Several minutes passed after your outburst. You assumed that Joker had hung up, but his voice came through the receiver, matching your energy.

"Why should I care? Why should I..." He growled under his breath, and you swore you heard glass breaking in the background.

His heavy breathing was loud in your ear. Joker was in rare form. "I can show you better than I can tell ya Y/n. Watch me."

The line disconnected before you could utter another word.

[anti-romantico]

[too complicated] stray kids bangchan

warnings: unprotected sex (tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes), kitchen sex, oral (f recieving), cum swallowing, teasing, tension, let me know if i missed something

words: 1464

A/N: I've been trying to write for bangchan for a while now, not likig anything, but my friend recommended me this scenario and i love it! so i hope you guys also like it <3

You two were tipsy, not drunk. You knew what was happening, so did he. But god, his tongue fighting against yours, his hands not being able to control themselves. But both mentally thanked Jisung when he called you because no one in the party seemed to know where you were. He didn’t see anything, though, and at least you wished he did, because you needed someone to talk to. A best friend? Well, that was the funny part, Chris was your best friend, and he has been avoiding you since the kiss. And the best (worst) part was that you lived together, so it was really hard for you to forget what happened when the whole place smelled like him.

9 in the morning and you were done with your breakfast. It was Saturday so none of you needed to be anywhere, but you still looked at his door, ready to scold him for being late. And maybe you stared too hard because his door opened, showing a very tired Chris. He froze when he found you already looking, but he didn’t say anything, not even a good morning. He just walked around you to the kitchen counter and grabbed a bowl and his box of cereal.

— Are you seriously going to ignore me? Not even pretend? — You asked annoyed, turning your body to look at him. Or his back at least.

— Don’t know what you’re talking about. — He caressly said, walking to the fridge to grab the milk.

— Oh, suddenly you’re 15 again? — And Chris tried his best to now turn around, he just shrugged his shoulders. — You know what, fine. Enjoy your cereal.

He let you throw everything back to their place and slam your door. It was when he finally turned around and looked at your, now empty, seat. He didn’t know what to do.

You both successfully avoided each other for the rest of the day, literally waiting for the other’s door to get closed to go out and eat. It wasn’t until the next morning you met again, this time he was the one having his breakfast when you got out of your room.

You debeated yourself if you should be as childish as him and ignore him, but you were better than that. — Good morning. — You said in a robotic voice. He didn’t answer. You rolled your eyes and, shamelessly, imitated what he did yesterday. —  Did you sleep well? — You said, making your coffee. 

Chris was confused, and he even turned around, only to find your back facing him. — Uh… Kind of. — He answered, knowing what you were doing.

— Why? Hard night? — You poured the hot water on your cup and grabbed the granulated coffee.

— You can say that… Listen, I’m sorry for yesterday, I…

— What happened yesterday? I don’t remember. — He bit his tongue, hating that you interrupted him. You knew that.

— I was an asshole. — And contrary to what anyone could think, he knew when he was wrong and wasn’t scared to admit it.

— Really? Why? — You turned around and found him already standing up and walking to you.

— Please don’t do this… I know I did it, but that doesn’t mean you have to. — He kept his distance, still having flashbacks of that night.

— Don’t know what you’re talking about. — He had enough. Chris took another two steps and removed the cup from your hands, putting it away.

— I don’t know what you want me to say. “I didn’t mean to”? I did. I kissed you and I don’t regret it.

— Then why did you ignore me AND avoided me for almost a week? 

— Because I’m a coward.

— Yeah, no shit, Christopher.

You two stayed silent for a couple of minutes, the coffee and soggy cereal long forgotten. 

— Now what? — You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

— I wish I knew… — He looked away.

— Why did you have to ignore me like that, then? You’re acting as if we fucked. — And you said those words. And you hated that you knew what his silence meant. — If you’re not going to answer, I'll walk to my room and pack my things. I don’t want this to be more complicated. 

— No! — He grabbed your arms to stop you, even though you didn’t even move. He slowly let you go, afraid you would leave. — Let’s… forget it, please. 

— It’s easy for you. — You answered, disappointed.

— It’s not, but I prefer that over losing my best friend.

— It’s easier than admitting there was something there? Maybe more? — You only use that tone of voice with the guys you flirted with, and Chris knew that.

— Please don’t do this to me. — His hands weren’t obeying his thought, caressing your hair.

— Don’t know what… — You repeated, but his finger around your neck stopped you.

— Stop saying that. — His voice turned deep, making you smirk.

— Or what?

— You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this counter, don’t push your luck. 

— It’s not like Jisung is going to interrupt us again, Chris. We’re alone.

Something in Chris’ head snapped, tightening the fingers around your neck to pull you and kiss you hard, making both of you moan. It felt like a big relief to finally kiss after ignoring each other for a week.

You were sucking on his tongue when you hand traveled down and got inside his pajama pants, immediately getting contact with his cock. He slept naked, the pajamas were only to not walk naked around you.

He hissed over your mouth. — Just like that, baby. Tighten a little. — The deep voice was gone, he was at your mercy, enjoying your skillful hand. — Use your other hand, please, grab my balls. Yes, like that, stroke me faster. — His hands pulled down his pants to give you more access and just let you stroke him. His moans were loud. You were so wet by his sounds. The feeling of his wet cock from his precum making everything a mess wasn’t helping either.

He didn’t last long, cumming on your hands and spilling a little on your pajama shirt. You licked his cum from your hands while staring at his eye, sending him to his knees. He pulled down your shorts and underwear, throwing them behind him. You spread your legs a little and let him lick the life out of you. 

Not only he was tongue fucking you, his finger were teasing your butthole just to add a little more of pleasure without making you uncomfortable. But he didn’t let you cum. You whined and pulled his hair, hearing him laugh.

He stood up and kissed you, making you taste yourself. His hands carried you from your butt, sitting you on the counter. And you were about to protest that you made food on it, when he thrusted in you with just one move. The feeling was different, the whole act felt different. Wet sounds filled the whole apartment, you two were too immerse in the fucking to even moan.

He was going slow, not wanting this to finish. Your eyes were on him until you couldn’t keep them open anymore. You threw your head back when the tip of his cock touched too deep. And the moan you let out was like an invitation for Chris to move faster.

The cereal boxes were digging into your back, but you didn’t want to switch positions, the angle was sending you into oblivion. He grabbed your neck again to kiss you. You weren’t complaining, it felt so good. He finally took off your shirt and attacked your nipples without stopping his hips.

You know your landlord was going to hear about this, but you would worry about that later. You felt like you ran out of hair, pulling Chris’ hair to let him know you were cumming. And this time, he helped you, massaging your clit with his middle finger until you finally cummed. 

He pulled out and started to stroke his cock fast. You pushed him back, got on your knees and replaced his hand with your mouth. It didn’t take him too long, the warm feeling of your mouth sending him to paradise and back. You swallowed him and got up to kiss him, this time making him taste himself. 

You kissed for a while until you felt his cock twitch against your stomach. You giggled.

— Does this mean you forgive me? — Chris innocently asked. 

— How can you act so cute after I just swallowed you cum?

— Don’t talk like that. — He kissed you again. — So?

— Maybe you need to apologize again. — You joked, brushing his hair back with your fingers.

He kissed you one more time and grabbed your legs, making you round his waist and carry you. — We have plenty of surfaces to fuck on, baby.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sweet Escape 1

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Summary: A strange man crashes into your life.

Characters: Jim Hopper

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your soles crush the wet twigs as you keep your hand out for balance, slick leaves threatening to slip beneath you. You touch the rough bark of each tree as you make your way toward the loud ripple of the river. The smell of rain lingers and draws you in.

You crest the subtle rise in the forest floor and make your way down to the smooth rock that sits only a few feet away from the river's edge. You set down your basket and take out the beat-up casio and check the tape inside. You keep it at low volume as you hit play, Carole King's tone adds to the ambiance of the space, not overpowering or misplaced, but illuminating what is already there.

You near the water and peer down into the silty floor. Frogs hop in the shallows and minnows wiggle through the depths. You spread out your raincoat in the mud and sit atop it as you open your journal.

You put your head down and set to writing about a land of lost princesses and ravenous trolls. You're hoping for a half-chapter at least and expect to be up half the night typing it. One day, you'll have a full transcript... who knows if it will ever go anywhere after that.

You hum along to the speakers' buzz, the sonorous peace of the space breaking suddenly and violently. You hear the rustle from across the river, somewhere in the trees. You hover your pen above the page as you look up into the gloomy space between the leaning trunks. You never heard of any bears around here.

You cry out as the burly figure runs out and splashes into the water. You snap your book shut and drop your pen as you struggle to stand, stopping yourself only as you realise it isn't some deadly grizzly. It's a man, furiously unbuttoning his shirt and scrubbing at his chest and belly. He throws water over his face and snarls out "blech, damn bastard!"

The putrid skunky smell wafts over to you as you stare. The man grumbles, tilting his head as he searches the river's edge, "what is that noise?" He first squints at you and then the Casio. You blink at him dumbly, he must've got himself sprayed, the skunks always come out after the rains.

"Who are you?" He asks, almost as if he is the lone denizen of the woods. He sure looks like he could reside there with his scruffy facial hair unkempt tufts on his head.

"Um..." you gulp and give your name cluelessly.

"Uh," he seems to remember himself and pulls his flannel shirt shut, hiding the pudge beneath, "I, er, ran into a white-tailed bastard..." he growls and shakes his head at himself, "what am I saying, you don't give a shit. Do you give a shit?"

You look around, put off by his demeanour. You push your shoulders up and give a sheepish smile. You tuck your book under your arm and bend to grab your goat, shaking off the mud.

"I'm sorry," you go to the casio and stop the music, "try tomato juice. For the smell."

"Huh, thanks," he huffs, "didn't mean to scare ya off."

"It's... fine," you utter. You're not used to being disturbed out here, it's the very reason you make the trek.

"Just try to avoid the ravine. That little bugger was hanging out there," he calls to you as you put your things in your basket.

"Thanks, I'll keep an eye out," you mutter.

He doesn't respond, not with more than an agitated grunt and the slosh of him wading back to shore. He grumbles to himself as you set off back down the path. Maybe you could hit the library instead.

[hideousvoid]

how would octavinelle trio react to accidentally hurting their s/o (physically),please?

A sea of problems

reader: gender neutral

Warnings: none

・゜゜・┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

You were trying to prank him by hiding near the door of his office, so when he was going to open it you would have throw yourself at him with a scream. It didn't end well, he was furious that day and smashed the door open. You saw it rapidly hitting your face followed by a loud "ouch!" coming out of your mouth, Azul's world feel down.

What were you doing behind the door?? Your nose started to bleed and he panicked more, using his scarf to cover your nose. The grey haired man was shaking like a leaf, he was mortified and worried that you were mad at him. A heavy sigh left his mouth when you and your face were ok, he was red for the embarrassment and shame.

"I'm so sorry my pearl, I didn't know you were behind it!"

Tears formed in his eyes as you two stayed in his office, complete silence as he was feeling more and more guilty. Are you mad at him? Do you think he is a stupid octopus? How helpless could he be to do such a thing to you? The thoughts stopped when your hand laid on his, your other on his face drying his tears with the thumb. Admitting your first intention and then saying soft words, a gentle kiss on his cheek. The dorm leader turned red as a tomato starting to stutter and avoiding eye contact, as he slowly got closer. Give him more but he won't admit it unless you force it out of his mouth, always so desperate for you.

"You forgave me right? Oh my, thank you (y/n), I'll make sure to never do it again!"

・゜゜・_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

You were helping him and Floyd with the monstro lounge, it was late and you three were cleaning the room. He slipped over a drink that was on the floor, while trying to not fall he had a worse result making both topple. He was heavy, very much and you even managed to hit your head (not too hard). Floyd laughed seeing you two doing something so "idiotic", teasing and joking while continuing to work.

Fast Jade got up pulling you with him, first he controlled that you were ok and then apologized. He cursed under his tone while you two went to the kitchen, you had an ice pack wrapped with a towel on your head, the "calm" eel near you. He kissed your hand massaging it with his fingers, if it weren't for the fact that you got hurt he would have probably laughed for the way you two fell.

"I'm mortified (y/n) I didn't imagine that such a thing was going to happen. Let's look at the right side of the coin, we are relaxing while Floyd is doing the rest~"

Jade was glad that he could pass time with you alone, without the orders of Azul or his noisy twin between you two. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders making your face rest on his chest, the heart beating fast with you so close to him. A pleased grin was present on his face, his sweet crush putting all their trust in that moment. What a good evening he was going to pass, trying to dry all your affections.

"let's enjoy this moment before someone bothers us, shall we?"

・゜゜・_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Floyd almost sent you to the nursery, he was arguing with a classmate when he opened his arms and slapped you with the back of his hand. A loud smack rumbled in the room, the eel was shocked and everyone got silent. The guy ran away faster than light, Floyd hugged you almost squeezed you to death. He started to repeat you over and over how sorry he was, it's true that he likes to squeeze you but hurting you by mistake isn't funny at all.

You had a red mark on your cheek, the mark of his hand very visible. He kissed it a few times trying to light your mood, you weren't think of being angry at him all day, were you? Look at him, he is so quiet and sorry, how can you not forgive him? Nobody could guess that you were coming for Floyd, a unlucky surprise for the twin.

"I'm sorry Koebi-chan, you don't even look good at all! Can you hear me??"

You won a free meal at the monstro lounge, cooked by Floyd of course. He has to repair what he did, and believe me, his cooking it's delicious and you won't regret it. It will start with a plate of pasta with shrimps, he is going to make jokes about it laughing like an idiot. The second a salad of octopus and potatoes, at the end some slices of cake he put all his effort in. Come on, how can you not accept his apologies now? He is literally looking at you with puppy eyes while being on his knees near you, he is practically begging you.

"How rude you are being right now (y/n)-chan, huh? No wait, I'm just kidding, don't go!"

[alpineshift]

Since prompt 3 is taken could I request prompt 20 with Nico being the one who’s misunderstanding Jack?

of course! coming right up - here's some silly boys in a uni setting ✍️

20. “Why do you insist on misunderstanding me?”

For a such smart guy, Nico can be so intensely dense sometimes.

Jack tells him that, loudly and irritably, when he's finally managed to corner Nico in a study room at the university library. The scene--Nico slowly sinking against the wall, Jack positioned like he's bracing to tackle Nico should he run away--would be hilarious if Jack wasn't sick of Nico's increasingly desperate attempts to dodge him.

It's also a little hurtful to his ego, if Jack's being honest. They're buds, damn it.

"That's not very nice," Nico manages, staring wide-eyed at Jack. Jack scoffs, loudly.

"Well, maybe it's not nice for you to keep avoiding me either, 'schao. You got anything to say for yourself?"

"I'm busy," Nico says, which, yes, he is, Jack's seen his class schedule this semester, and it's a wonder Nico ever gets anything done. But Jack's also seen him blast through four midterms and two in-person presentations and morning bag skates without breaking metaphorical sweat, so.

"We live in the same house. We're bound to run into each other at some point, but we don't, because someone keeps running out. Wanna try again?"

Nico mutters something like not really, but Jack's had it. He's done his part, taken his leap of faith, spilled his guts in the most honest fashion, and all he's gotten in return is, what? Nico literally climbing out bathroom window to avoid him.

"Look, Neeks. If the answer's a no, then all you have to do is say so. All you gotta do is tell me to clear out, to leave you alone, and I will. But I can't live in this limbo, waiting for you to let me down, to see if I've ruined everything between us."

Nico is nearly gaping at him now. "What? What do you mean, let you down? What answer are you looking for?"

For crying out loud, this cannot be happening to him. Maybe Luke is right and Jack really isn't as suave as he says he is (but that's a crisis for another time.) "The answer to when I confessed to you, Nico!"

"You were drunk!" Nico protests. "You weren't being serious!"

"The fuck--I was so serious! And I wasn't drunk! Maybe a frat party wasn't the best place, but you know I don't drink once we land a spot in the tourney brackets!"

"But--you couldn't have been confessing to someone like me," Nico says, hinging on desperate. "That's not possible, you must've meant something else--"

"Why do you insist on misunderstanding me?" Jack yells, throwing his hands up. "Do I need to spell it out for you? I like you, Nico Hischier! I want to take you out! Can we please go on a date so I can hold your stupid hand and buy you dessert and kiss you at the end of the night!"

"Oh," Nico says, looking like he's about to faint. Jack lowers his hands, panting, feeling a little out of his mind. "Oh. Um. Yes?"

"Oh? Yes? Yes?"

"Uh-huh. Yes."

"To all of the above?" Jack sputters, then sputters again when Nico nods, cheeks red as a tomato. "Holy shit. You wanna go on a date with me?"

"Well, more like I want to date you," Nico admits, and Jack could yell again, but for a totally different reason. Nico likes him. Nico wants to date him back.

The door to the study room squeaks open, and they both jump when they see Nate poke his head in. "Hey, cheers to you guys, always nice to see a hot young couple get together, but could you guys keep it down? Some of us really need to pass Intro to Marketing this year."

[sorrowfulrosebud]

What would Keiko be as an teenager? Would he still just want to be home with his family?

Damn, mama lore?? This got fucking long dude 😭

Definitely, Keiko is still very shy even as a teenager. He grows a bit of a thicker skin but he’s still very shy and dependent on his siblings. He grew a fuck ton though, and now at the ripe age of 16 he towers over his siblings.

==================================

“H-hey Akira, do you wanna go to the market with me and mama? You’d have to wear your hat to avoid your ears being seen but it’s still a trip outside the house!” Keiko’s tail wiggled in his excitement. Market day was his favourite day because it meant that he could poke around the cozy human village with his favourite people in the world; his mother and father.

Akira grimaced slightly at his brother’s excitement. “Sorry little bro, me, Aika and Kokoro were gonna explore around the well we found the other day. You’re welcome to come if you want,” he offered, already knowing the answer.

Keiko hurriedly shook his head. He was frightened of dirty places like that, so dark and scary and he doesn’t like the idea that something could be watching him. Akira sighed at his brother.

“Well the offer’s there. Have a fun time at market, and ask ma to pick me up some blankets please. My mate has been driving me crazy about scenting stuff,” he huffed slightly before giving Keiko a half-smile. He waved him goodbye as he joined his sisters outside in the snow, loud crunches sounding off under his feet. Each one of your children were wrapped up carefully, pointy ears bundled under hats and fluffy tails shoved up the back of shirts in case hunters saw them.

Keiko looked at his brothers and sisters with jealousy pooling in his tummy. He wanted to be like them so bad, but he was just easily frightened and that often made them irritated. Aika and Akira would never admit it out loud but would constantly huff at Keiko’s cowardice. Kokoro however was pretty fucking mean to him, constantly teasing and pulling on his tail to spook him.

Keiko felt an arm gently grasp at his shoulder and turned his head to see your soft smile.

“Hiya bubs, are you ready to go,” you fluffed the hair between his ears as his tail started wagging. Katsuki walked up behind you and kissed your cheek before stuffing his ears into his hat.

(He asked you to crochet them specifically for all of the pack, each with the same pattern but different colours. Katsuki’s was orange, Akita’s was red, Aika’s was a dusty pink, Kokoro’s was purple and Keiko’s was green).

Katsuki shuffled forward to his son as he helped readjust Keiko’s hat.

“Ain’t no way in hell I’m letting us get caught by those damn hunters. It’s a good thing it’s winter so people won’t question the hats but we still have to be careful,” Katsuki lectured gruffly. Keiko smiled widely at his father with pure adoration, tail going a million miles per hour at his own brand of affection.

“I know papa, I’ll be careful! I promise!” He smiled and took the basket for groceries in his arm. Katsuki let off his own crooked smile at his son’s excitement. To Katsuki, it was nice to see Keiko be so close to you and him, but it was so sad to see his siblings cast him off so easily. He would never throw him out of the pack but sometimes he wonders if Keiko would have been thrown out of his old pack. He was more human than wolf, cuddly and soft. Not like a wolf at all.

“Come on then, those groceries aren’t going to buy themselves!” You clapped your hands together and slipped your arm into Katsuki’s. Keiko stood on your other side and did the same to you before you started the trek to the next village for the market.

==================================

“Hmm, Katsuki? What do you think of these tomatoes?” You offered them to your husband for him to smell for the freshness. Katsuki complied, sharp sense of smell telling him that they were absolutely fucking disgusting.

“Ew, what the hell?! It should be illegal to buy stock so bad!” Katsuki growled at the shop keeper, effectively scaring the shit out of him and grinning at the results.

You nudge him slightly and gave him a pointed look.

“Ugh, fine. Those ones over there smell good,” he sighed noisily. Keiko giggled slightly at his father’s antics, arm still slipped into yours.

“Don’t forget that Akira wants some blankets for his mate mama! Kokoro wants some of that fancy spiced meat and Aika wants some of that soft wool you bought last market trip,” he recited from the list.

A proud smile overtook your features as you squeezed his arm gently.

“You’re such a good little brother Keiko. Is there anything you want hun?” You asked him. Keiko thought for a second before his face lit up.

“A new stuffy please!” He smiled excitedly. No matter how old he gets, he will always be your little pup.

“Alright pup, here’s a few silver pieces. Go and find the blankets, wool and stuffies whilst me and your father look at the produce,” you gently nudged him away as Katsuki started shouting at a stall keeper for his “steep shitty prices!”

Keiko looked deeply at the 20 silver pieces in his hand before clutching them tightly and wandering around the market. Hundreds of stalls surrounded him, each smelling of something new and exciting. Spiced meats, exotic herbs, fresh vegetables all bombarded Keiko’s sensitive nose before he stopped at a market stall selling cheap blankets for 10 silver pieces each.

The blanket was a gorgeous maroon colour, almost as deep as his father’s and brother’s eyes. Keiko smiled widely at the stall keeper as he eagerly thrusted 10 pieces of silver into his hand.

Akira’s mate is going to love this! He thought gleefully.

He stopped at another stall that was selling the specific meat that Kokoro was craving. It was 3 silver pieces per joint and Keiko happily handed over the money.

He bought some spools of soft wool for Aika to continue crafting with before stopping at another stall selling small trinkets.

It was like a crow’s best dream; shiny things scattered all over the purple tablecloth, such as little keys, cogs, odds and sods. What really got Keiko interested was the small music box in the middle of the table. In it, a delicate tune was tinting the air as two little figures danced gracefully. It reminded him perfectly of his mama and papa dancing together.

Keiko’s eyes shone in amazement as he looked up at the gnarled old stall owner. The store owner had clearly lived a long or very troubled life; forehead wrinkles the size of rivers ran deeply across his forehead, laughter lines and accompanying them. His thick black hair was tied up tightly in a bun, the occasional silver streak glinting in the winter sun. Tired hands whittled away at small chunks of wood before placing them carefully on the trove of treasures.

“E-excuse me sir? How much for the music box?” He asked politely. The stall keeper stared up at him for a minute before looking back down at his work.

“Isn’t it a little too dangerous for your kind to be out in public?” He muttered lowly. Keiko’s blood ran cold at the question before trying to save face.

“I-I’m sure I don’t know what you mean sir!” He exclaimed wildly. The stall keeper kept whittling away at his work.

“It’s fairly obvious, boy. I can see that damned tail of yours wagging through your cloak,” he pressed on.

Keiko felt like he was going to pass out from fear.

“Please sir, don’t say anything! My mama and papa like their lives here very much, we’ve never done anything to hurt anyone, I swear!” Keiko was borderline sobbing as he gripped the basket. The stranger stood up on his feet and clutched the whittling knife in his hand menacingly.

“And why shouldn’t I? It was your kind that got my daughter thrown out of my village! She tried eloping with one of you bastards and it damn near got her killed!” The black haired stranger shouted gruffly.

“Keiko? Keiko darling, where are you? Oh, there you are!” You clutched your skirt up as you trudged through the snow to your son. Your face immediately frowned when you saw just how badly Keiko was frightened before a clanking noise turned your head to the table.

The stranger was… crying? Onyx eyes brimmed with tears just by looking at you. He was struggling to articulate words. Keiko turned his head confusedly until he saw tears run down your face, hand pressed closely to your mouth. Your eyes were wide.

“(Y-Y/N)?” The stranger rasped. Your face crumpled in tears before you flung yourself at the stranger.

“DAD!” The stranger clung to you intensely as he buried his face into your neck.

“Hey, hey, shhhh. I’m here now, dad’s here. I’ve got you hon,” he rocked you gently in his arms and stroked your hair, letting you sob into his burly chest.

All before you were torn off him by a very. Angry. Katsuki. Katsuki was growling deeply at the stranger. The pinks of his gums could be seen, as well as the glint of his very sharp fangs. The stranger was clearly startled but stared at Katsuki with a strange look.

“Who. The. Hell. Is this fucker?” Katsuki held on to you with an iron grip in one arm and Keiko in the other. You let out a pained wince before prying yourself out of his grip.

“Baby, this is Shouta Aizawa. Or, I suppose my dad from my old village,” you let out a watery smile as you hugged Aizawa again. Katsuki let out another growl as he tried yanking you back. You tried to reassure him with a small smile before suddenly realising there were people literally staring at you.

“Let’s go home and sort this out, it’s very cold,” you offered. Aizawa’s eyes softened at you and nodded.

“I’ll pack up my stall”.

Part 2?

[sweet-villain]

Just A Birthday Taste~ J.Q

Author's Note : This is a little something in honor of Joe's birthday

Warning : Smut

Tags : : @ceriseheaven @josephquinnlover0 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @stillfalling30minslater @alyisdead @witchy-munson

My Master List is in This Area

" Good Morning, love" his morning voice filled your eyes as he smiled down at you, brushing a hair away from your eyes. " Morning, birthday boy" you smiled over at him. The sun came shining through the curtains making his eyes shine as he looked down at you lovingly. Times like these, you wished they lasted forever.

His hand falls on your cheeks as he runs his thumb, caressing. His love language was touch and you absolutely loved it when he touched you. Anywhere. You loved coming home to him where he greeted you in his arms.

" Happy Birthday Joe" you reached up kissing the tip of his nose.

His cheeks reddened as a smile spreads on his face, " Thank you, my love" he says, he hovers above you and leans down to kiss you.

"All I want to do is be with you, here. In this bed" he says kissing your forehead, " I don't care what we do. I just want you"

" Are you sure that's what you want to do? No going out?" he shakes his head.

You frowned thinking you should of set an alarm at least to make him breakfast in bed and when he noticed you were frowning, he didn't't like it.

" None of that" he taps your lips in a deep frown, " I only want to see a smile light up on your beautiful face. Yeah?" you nodded, watching a grin crosses his face.

His eyes darken as he growls, " I want to do something."

" What would that be?" you asked, searching his face as if you would find an answer. He cups your chin lifting your head up to look up at him, " I want you." His eyes are filled with lust. Your cheeks painted the color red, " To taste you." his leans his forehead against yours, " Can I? Oh love, please.."

" Don't you want me to make some breakfast for you first? It's good for you" you started to say to avoid the look on his face. " No, I want to eat you. Make you feel good" you were sure you were blushing now like a tomato, covering your face with your head as you mind blurred.

" We don't have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with" you shook your head as you put your hands on, " I want to, baby. I do. Where do you want me?" you asked, moving closer to him. His lips brushed against the side your neck, teasing you with his tongue and small pecks as they traveled to your lip and down to your ear, " I was you to take a seat on my face" his voice sounds deeper as his hand grabbed onto your thigh.

" But before that, I want to kiss you" Joe says as he continues to slide his hands up and down your thigh.

Your lips moved against his, opening your mouth letting his tongue battle against yours. The sensation of his tongue covering every inch of your mouth made a heat of pool in between your thighs. You captured his moans into yours mouth. His lips traveled down to your neck before tugging on your shirt. You sat up as he lifted your shirt over your head and throwing it somewhere in the room.

" You're so beautiful" he took one of your nipples into his mouth and softly flicked the other with his fingers, before playing with it in between his fingers. You moaned, arching your back at his touch.

Joe took his time giving each nipple attention until his hands gripped onto the top of. your pajama pants. He took in the sight of you, " how did I get so lucky?" he cooed, he laid down next to you on the bed. His finger tips traced down your body until he got to your pussy.

" Can I play?" he asks, looking up at you. Your cheeks hinted red as you nodded, " Pretty please, birthday boy," you moaned.

His hand slide in between your thighs and his fingers tapped over your cunt. He used his thumb to flick your clit as his other finger slide in between your lips.

" So wet for me" he smirked, hearing you whimper. He moved his thumb in circles as his finger slowly pumped inside of you before he added another finger. Your walls tightened around his fingers causing him to groan, licking his lips as he imagined his cock inside you.

He continued his pace as you felt the knot in your stomach build. You gripped the sheets with your hands, Joe watched you squirm as his fingers curled. His cock was hard, leaking pre cum. He watched your face closer and hearing your breath hitch before you gasped, coming on his fingers.

He pulled his fingers away causing you to pout.

" This is only the beginning. I want you to sit on my face. Please, love" he says he laid on his back.

" Um..I..-" he cut you off as he shook his head. " You won't hurt me, love. I promise" Joe said, stroking your thighs lovingly to reassure you. Crawling over to his, you couldn't help glance at him and at the sight of his hopeful eyes and wide smile on his face.

Putting one leg over his head hovering above him as you looked down, " This is how you want me?" you asked.

His hands grabbed onto your thighs pulling your core closer to his mouth. His tongue peeked out a bit before he licked up your slit and nibbled on your clit.

" Yes" he nodded. His nose nudged at your clit while his tongue had access to your cunt. His hands help you move your hips around till you were moving on your own as he used his tongue on you. You closed your eyes, moaning at the sensation of his tongue.

" You can be loud, my love" he looks up at you, pushing as he flicked your clit with his tongue. Moaning and groaning as he continued, " Let me hear you." he says gripping the back of your thighs pulling your cunt to his lips. His nose was rubbing against your clit as wave of pleasure rushed up your spine.

He slipped his tongue back to what he was doing, letting you move your hips like you liked. You moaned out his name encouraging him to keep going. His hand reached in between your thighs to play with your clit. Your thighs were shaking when he hummed, sending vibrations.

You can feel the knot building in your stomach as he flicked his tongue, " going to c-cum.." you moaned, grabbing onto his hair and tugging on it. He grabbed onto you tighter onto his face, licking at your clit with his tongue. You began to roll your hips faster and faster against his mouth. You tugged on his curls as you came hard onto his tongue.

Joe slurped and lapped at your juice with his tongue as you rode out your high, a slick sound as he helped you off his face. His beard, nose and chin was covered in your juice. You laid on the bed next to him panting as he pulled you into his arms.

" I could have you for breakfast, lunch and dinner" he cooed in your ear. Your cheeks brightened red as you giggled, " Stop."

" Did I make you feel good?" you nodded. He kissed the side of your head as he licks his lips as he looks down at you, " might have you before we go back to bed."

Your thighs clenched together as you whimpered causing him to smirk.

" Can never get enough of you" he nuzzled his nose against your cheek.

" Can never get enough of you either, birthday boy. Happy birthday, Joe"

[tideswept]

THROWING TOMATOS AT YOU FOR THAT CHAPTER /positive

OK, OK, WAIT. WAIT. STOP. THOSE TOMATOES ARE GOOD FOR SAUCE! MAKE SAUCE, NOT WAR.

a-and in my defense, that chapter was going to be... really, really, REALLY different, originally. Like, completely new fic levels of different. Y'all woulda murdered me in cold blood if I'd done it...

(Some revelations are still relevant to the fic as a whole, so I'll put it under a cut to avoid spoilers.)

The original was going to be angsty, y'all. But, you know, still with a happy ending. Just. Kind of rough.

Obi-Wan and Anakin's scene was going to go into Anakin confessing that he's known they were mates since he hit puberty, and was therefore aware that he'd be an omega. But then Obi-Wan avoided him (them) and left, and he kept waiting, hoping, subconsciously pushing off his presentation until he couldn't suppress it anymore.

And still, Obi-Wan didn't give him the time of the day.

Obi-Wan is not pleased by this being dumped on him. He doesn't believe in mates, and he's definitely not freaking out that apparently Anakin has spent more than half a decade waiting for him, no sir. Absolutely not.

Which leads him to decide that the best option here is to leave. Anakin will figure out he was wrong, things will go on as they're supposed to. And he doth verily fuck off for years, doing Jedi Things anywhere but Coruscant.

Until the Force is like, "Hey. You might want to go back. Just a suggestion." in its usual cryptic way of 👏SOMETHING. 👏 IS. 👏HAPPENING 🚨🚨🚨

Which he ignores after checking with the Council that everything is good, everything's great. Anakin's even succeeded at his trials and will be knighted soon. Obi-Wan's plan to remove himself from the situation is working out great.

It's just so great. He doesn't feel miserable and cowardly at all. He's getting SO much sleep at night, you guys.

The Force: 😒 fuck it, I tried. You're on your own, Kenobi.

and what scares him the most is that suddenly everything stops. The bad dreams, the worry, the sense that something is wrong. Just a constant blaring in the back of his mind and then silence.

So he returns to Coruscant, to confirm that everything is a-ok. Only to run into Qui-Gon who is like "Oh. Well. This is... some awkward timing."

And it's awkward because, as he finds out, Anakin decided that being an omega is actually really shitty if he's just going to have a bull's eye painted on his back for the rest of his life (and hey, his mate rejected him, so like... fuck it). Having no secondary gender at all is much more practical as a Jedi Knight.

And it's not that Obi-Wan arrives in time to have mixed feelings about this and weigh whether he has the right to say anything to Anakin about this decision. Oh no; it's already done by the time he arrives back in Coruscant. Anakin's no longer an omega.

And now Obi-Wan has to deal with that.

(and THAT would have been the cliffhanger of ch4)

[looking-to-rattle-the-stars]

this one’s for me and my two karlach girlies but just god i’m glad my laptop can run this game at the medium graphics level but holy shit i wish i could play it with high graphics because the details on fucking karlach alone are so fucking incredible and my screenshots do not do her justice by any means ! but anyways yeah finally remembered to use the jump function today and recruited karlach n she seems very sweet i cannot wait to fuck shit up with her !! also astarion is here because i think he’s pretty in those two screenshots and i once again wish i could play the game in higher graphics so that his hair texture wasn’t as muddled 😔 anyways !! it feels like i’ve done nothing in my ten hours of playtime so far but i am excited to keep playing n progress the story :)

also do not let my tav’s armor fool you that man is a ranger i just wanted to increase his AC although tbh i should give that shit to gale until i get better stuff cause good lord that man’s 10 AC does not do him any favors for the shit i pull (i went to fight goblins and bro got knocked prone in grease and then instant died/failed his death saving throws after another goblin shot a flaming arrow at him) he is too squishy but i love him!! such a guy i did watch him press a magic item into his chest today though which was a little strange but hey what can you do ! i’ll let that man consume magic items so long as i think it’s useless

anyways time to eat saltines n a little bit of tomato soup at 12:30am n then play till 3am again for giggles hehe i love having nothing to do on weekends RAAAAAGHHH

(also in case it’s needed, no spoilers please!! i’ve avoided them so far and i plan to keep it that way at least in regards to major plot events ya know)

[moodysann]

— Hakkai Shiba fucks you with his fingers under the table!

Tw: public sex, gentle partner, fingering, cute guy, "Are you okay?" feigned excitement.

He's really obsessed with it - your soft and so attractive thighs are too often looming before his eyes, as if teasing.

There are a lot of people around, and at the table, right in front of you, your friends are sitting, carried away by the conversation.

Hakkai just can't keep his hands to himself when you're seducing him with your curves right next to him.

His gaze, like a steel chain, is riveted to your legs, and playful fingers reach for the already native velvet skin.

Hakkai easily and even imperceptibly licks dry lips, throwing a sharp glance at the people around him and making sure that no one notices you - he crawls between your legs with his hand.

“Wh-what are you doing!? you ask excitedly as your beady eyes dart around.

"Hush... I'll just... Stroke," Hakkai whispers, as if half-delirious, without raising his excited gaze at you.

His cold fingers slide easily up your thigh - you imagine every curve of his dry knuckles, and the sensitivity reaches such a level of climax that you can feel the trembling that breaks through the body of your lover.

A simple touch makes you blush like the ripest tomato in autumn!

What will be next?

Regardless of the surrounding audience, Hakkai, continuing to play on your emotions, like guitar strings, begins to touch the soft fabric of your lacy underwear with his fingertips. With his index finger, he pushes back the edge of the useless, in his opinion, tissue and begins to massage your clitoris with smooth and so gentle movements.

You sigh sharply, looking at your friends, who noticed how pale your face is. It is almost impossible to restrain yourself, but you absolutely do not want Hakkai to stop these caresses.

Question from friends:

- Is everything alright? Are you feeling bad?

You briefly answer:

“More and more... How wonderful!”

As your lover's finger fucks you, moving between your shrinking velvet walls.

Hakkai moves closer to you and kisses your cheek, looking at you with completely innocent eyes, and seeing your bright embarrassment, he can't help but add a second finger to please you as soon as possible!

You close your eyes, trying right now not to scream from pleasant and just surging feelings. Damn it, this guy will suck the soul out of you!

- Honey, you really somehow quieted down ... Is everything okay? Hakkai asks playfully, probably feeling that you are already very close to the peak of your satisfaction.

Your juices flow down his wrist, and your short breath makes it difficult to focus on your thoughts in order to avoid trouble and not open up to people around you.

Hakkai began to quickly move into you with three fingers, and when he felt how you squeeze his fingers, he quickly reacts and catches your moan with a passionate kiss. Pulling out his phalanxes, he wipes them on his trousers, finally kissing you in the ear.

"Oh, are you feeling better?" Sun, I love you so much...