#please avoid throwing tomatoes

[yokumirumerafan]

MHA boys x y/n (if y/n accidentally sent a nude to them)

AHAHHAHAHAH I wanna throw my eyes out in the garbage after this T^T

💥 Katsuki Bakugo

🔴 Reaction: His phone nearly combusts in his hands when he opens the message, his entire face turning redder than his explosions. He was just chilling when—BAM—your completely nude picture pops up on his screen.

You immediately send, “OMG WRONG PIC I’M SO SORRY”

But this is Bakugo, and instead of responding normally, you get:

"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WRONG PIC?!?? WHO WAS IT FOR THEN, HAH?!???"

💥 Aftermath: He refuses to delete the pic immediately, not because he’s a perv (or so he claims), but because, "It’s my fuckin’ right as your boyfriend to have it now." He still won’t look you in the eyes for a solid 48 hours, though.

🧊 Shoto Todoroki

🔵 Reaction: Blinks once. Blinks twice. The gears in his brain are grinding to a halt. He was in the middle of drinking tea, and now he’s frozen in place like a statue. The steam from his tea is the only thing moving in the room.

You: "OMG SHOTO I’M SO SORRY I MEANT TO SEND A MEME WTF"

Him: "…This is not a meme."

He just stares at his screen for a full minute before finally typing: "I see. Do you want me to delete it, or would you like to discuss this in person?" 😳

🔵 Aftermath: Later, when you’re hiding your face in embarrassment, he just sips his tea and says: "I wouldn’t mind receiving more by accident."

🐙 Eijiro Kirishima

🔴 Reaction: This man CHOKES ON AIR. Like, literally starts coughing and nearly dies. His hands are shaking, his phone almost falls out of his grip.

You: "KIRI I’M SO SORRY WRONG PIC WRONG PIC"

Him: "BABE. BABE I’M AT THE GYM."

He’s literally bench pressing, and when he sees your pic, he drops the weights in shock. Every dude in the gym turns to look at him, and he just nervously laughs while turning into a tomato.

🐙 Aftermath: He eventually recovers, but the next time you see him, he’s so flustered. "I mean, if you ever wanna, uh, send the right one… y’know, for me…" 😳

💚 Izuku Midoriya

🟢 Reaction: OH GOD HELP HIM. He was just taking hero notes when he got your message, and now? HIS SOUL LEFT HIS BODY. He gasps so loud that his mom knocks on his door like “Izuku?? Are you okay??”

You: "OMG WRONG PICTURE DEKU I’M GONNA JUMP OFF A CLIFF"

Him: "WAIT DON’T JUMP I’M ALSO GONNA DIE FROM THIS HELP—"

HE IS PANICKING. His brain is a 404 ERROR. His freckles are brighter than ever. He’s stuttering, sweating, AND shaking.

🟢 Aftermath: He avoids eye contact for a week. When you finally corner him, he just whispers: "I saved it before I realized… should I delete it? Do you—do you want me to keep it?" 😳

🔥 Dabi

🔵 Reaction: He opens it, stares for two seconds, then smirks like the smug bastard he is. "Oh? Well, well, well. Looks like Christmas came early for me."

You: "DABI. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT."

Him: "Uh-huh. Sure. Who was it meant for then?" 😏

If you tell him it was meant for nobody, he just laughs and texts back: "Wanna make it not an accident? I’m free tonight."

🔥 Aftermath: He will never let you live this down. You will be reminded every day about it. You’ll walk into the room, and he’ll just casually say, “Ah, my personal model has arrived.” 😏

💜 Shigaraki Tomura

🔴 Reaction: He drops his phone. It just thuds onto the floor while he stares into space, reconsidering life itself.

You: "OMG I’M SO SORRY WRONG PICTURE."

Him: "…The fuck am I supposed to do with this information."

He sits there, looking at his phone like it personally offended him. His hands are hovering over the screen like he’s too scared to touch it.

💜 Aftermath: "You’re gonna corrupt me." That’s what he tells you, and then later, out of nowhere, he just goes, "So… you got any more accidents in you?" 😏

💚 Tamaki Amajiki

🔵 Reaction: IMMEDIATELY THROWS HIS PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM LIKE IT BURNED HIM. Tamaki.exe has stopped working.

You: "TAMA I’M SO SORRY WRONG PIC OMG PLEASE RESPOND"

Him: "I—I CAN NEVER FACE YOU AGAIN."

He’s literally curled up in a ball, shaking and overheating like a broken laptop. His face is so red it might explode.

🔵 Aftermath: The next time he sees you, he just stares at the ground and mumbles, "I-it was a nice picture… I mean—NO, I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT, I’M GONNA PASS OUT." 😵

🟡 Mirio Togata

🟡 Reaction: INSTANT GRIN. "Aw, babe, that’s not the cat picture you meant to send, huh?" 😆

You: "MIRIO PLEASE DELETE IT"

Him: "Delete it? But I think it's a work of art." 😏

He does not stop smiling. And not in a pervy way—he just thinks it's hilarious. This man is SO confident that instead of freaking out, he’s teasing you instantly.

🟡 Aftermath: Later, he walks up to you, gives you a kiss, and whispers, "If you ever wanna send another one… maybe on purpose this time?" 😏

🦋 Hawks (Keigo Takami)

🔴 Reaction: Whistles. "Damn, angel, wasn’t expecting that so early in the day." 😏

You: "HAWKS I DIDN’T MEAN TO—"

Him: "No need to explain, babe. Happy accidents exist for a reason." 😌

He’s WAY too smooth about it, texting you back instantly with, "You look gorgeous, by the way." No shame. No embarrassment. Just pure, raw Keigo energy.

🦋 Aftermath: You’re hiding your face in embarrassment, but he’s just living his best life. "Just letting you know, if you ever wanna send another one, I wouldn’t complain. Just saying." 😏

🦾 All Might (Toshinori Yagi - Small Form)

🔵 Reaction: NEARLY DIES. His soul leaves his body. You just killed the Number One Hero.

You: "I’M SO SORRY WRONG PIC!!!"

Him: "OH MY GOODNESS, MY DEAR Y/N, I—I MUST ERASE THIS FROM MY MEMORY AT ONCE." 😱

He’s sweating bullets, looking around like the police are about to break down his door.

🦾 Aftermath: HE NEVER MENTIONS IT AGAIN. Ever. You traumatized him. The man nearly coughed up a lung. 😭

💀 Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)

🔵 Reaction: Opens the message. Stares at it. Blinks once. Exhales. Closes his phone.

You: "SHOUTA I’M SO SORRY WRONG PICTURE"

Him: "Hnn. Sure." 😐

Literally does not react for a solid five minutes. You are panicking, but he’s just sitting there like it’s a normal Tuesday.

💀 Aftermath: That night, he just casually mutters, "Next time, don’t send it by accident." And then he goes to sleep like he didn’t just end your entire existence. 😭

👁️ Shinsou Hitoshi

🟣 Reaction: Raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"

You: "HITOSHI WRONG PIC OMG"

Him: "Damn. You sure? I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t a mistake." 😏

HE’S SO CALM ABOUT IT. He texts you back way too smoothly, and now you’re just screaming into your pillow.

🟣 Aftermath: The next time you see him, he just leans in and whispers, "No take-backs, kitten." 😏

🐙 Hanta Sero

⚫ Reaction: SPITS OUT HIS DRINK.

You: "OMG SERO IGNORE THAT PLS."

Him: "HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO IGNORE IT WHEN MY EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED???" 😳

He physically collapses onto his bed, kicking his feet, blushing, and screaming into a pillow. This man is LOSING IT.

⚫ Aftermath: He teases you about it for the next three years. "Hey babe, remember that time you—" "SERO. SHUT UP." 😭

⚡ Denki Kaminari

🟡 Reaction: "OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GODDDDDD." Brain fried. Man is straight-up malfunctioning.

You: "DENKI I SWEAR WRONG PICTURE"

Him: "DO IT AGAIN THO???" 😳

He is so flustered but also so down bad. He’s grinning like an idiot, kicking his feet, and combusting all at once.

⚡ Aftermath: You will never hear the end of it. "Babe, you got any more accidents planned?" 😏

👓 Iida Tenya

🔵 Reaction: PHONE SLIPS OUT OF HIS HANDS. SCREEN GOES BLACK. He is HORRIFIED.

You: "IIDA I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO—"

Him: "Y/N. THIS IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE. HOWEVER—" he clears his throat "I appreciate the trust you have placed in me." 😳

👓 Aftermath: Later, he adjusts his glasses nervously and mumbles, "I-I did not delete it yet… Should I? Or… do you want me to… keep it…?" 😳

🐦 Tokoyami Fumikage

⚫ Reaction: IMMEDIATE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS. "…" closes phone. "…" takes deep breath.

You: "TOKO I’M SO SORRY—"

Him: "…" whispers to Dark Shadow "…What do I do?" 😨

Dark Shadow: "ASK FOR MORE, DUMBASS." 😈

⚫ Aftermath: He avoids you for days until Dark Shadow starts teasing him about it in front of you. "Toko, tell Y/N what you thought about the picture!" 😈 "DARK SHADOW, I SWEAR TO THE GODS—" 😳

🧊 Neito Monoma

🔵 Reaction: "Ah-ha! So even you make mistakes! How utterly humiliating for you!" 😏

You: "MONOMA I’M GONNA KILL YOU—"

Him: "Oh, don’t be mad. If anything, I’d say your form was… quite exquisite." 😌

🧊 Aftermath: HE HOLDS IT OVER YOUR HEAD FOREVER. "Remember that one time you tried to seduce me by accident? Ah, classic Y/N. Simply tragic." 😭

🕶️ Yuga Aoyama

💛 Reaction: "Ohoho~! My, my, mon amour, how scandalous!"

You: "DELETE IT, SPARKLE BOY."

Him: "But Y/N! Such beauty deserves to be appreciated!"

💛 Aftermath: He strikes a dramatic pose and says, "Next time, let me prepare a photoshoot for you~!" 😌

🌪️ Inasa Yoarashi

🟥 Reaction: "OOOOOH MY GOOOOOD—" PROCEEDS TO YELL SO LOUDLY THE WHOLE CITY HEARS IT.

You: "INASA STOP SCREAMING OMG."

Him: "I’M TRYING BUT MY BRAIN CAN’T HANDLE THIS KIND OF SURPRISE, Y/N!!!!" 😳

🌪️ Aftermath: He is SO dramatic. He acts like he was personally attacked by your beauty. "I WASN’T READY FOR SUCH PERFECTION, Y/N, HAVE MERCY ON ME." 😭

🟢 Sir Nighteye

🟢 Reaction: Looks at phone. Adjusts glasses. Takes a deep breath.

You: "SIR NIGHTEYE IT WAS A MISTAKE—"

Him: "Hmm. A rare mistake from you. How fascinating."

🟢 Aftermath: He literally does not react. But later, he smirks and says, "If I foresaw that happening again, I wouldn’t try to stop it." 😏

🟥 Shiketsu High’s Meatball Man: Seiji Shishikura

🔴 Reaction: Goes absolutely STILL. Stares at his phone like it just committed a crime.

You: "OMG SEIJI DELETE IT—"

Him: "…Distasteful. Utterly improper. Completely indecent." 😐

You: "I KNOW, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT—"

Him: "However…" clears throat "Your form is quite… refined." 😳

🔴 Aftermath: This man acts like he’s above it all, but his ears are bright red for WEEKS. Every time he looks at you, he just adjusts his tie unnecessarily and avoids eye contact. 😩

And if someone even jokes about it, he immediately snaps, "WE SHALL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN." 😤

[jar0fhoney]

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 (NSFW) / PART 4 /

PART FIVE (NSFW) - PART 6 - PART 7 (NSFW) - PART 8 (NSFW)

Warning: Mentions of Pregnancy and virginity. piv.

You started Sunday the same way you always did. Wake up before dawn, start breakfast for you and Ma, stare out the window and think about the list of chores you could never keep up with.

“It’s a beautiful morning!” Your mother shuffled past your open door towards the kitchen, “Are you sure I can’t just handle all the work in the field today? Won’t you want to relax before your friend arrives?”

“Mother, please do not blow this out of proportion.” You scolded her light-heartedly, “I’m just going to do my work as usual, and when he stops by I’ll take a break-”

“My baby is getting courted by a big strong orc~” She sang out to you. You followed her to the kitchen. “How did you know he’s courting me?”

“So he is courting you.” She swayed back and forth in front of the hearth, throwing bits of kindling onto the fire.

“Well- I-”

“Y/n, don’t you remember. When I told you about the family that lived in the neighboring plot. The wife told me so much about how strange orc courting was, especially with her being human, and-”

“You didn’t tell me it was a half-orc family…” 

She turned to you with a devious smirk, “Wouldn’t you like to know about a half-orc family.” “MA!” You grabbed an apple from the table (a bright red one that matched the color of your face) and ran out the door. You weren’t really mad at her, but this entire situation was so out of your comfort zone. The only experience you ever really had with being pursued was desperately avoiding Milo for the past two years.

You glanced at the sundial in the garden. Three hours. You had three hours to try and get some work done in the field and shake off the nerves.

-

The tomatoes were a mess. No wonder, this was a corner of the field that had been sorely neglected this season. The sun was climbing higher, and the heat of its rays were beginning to lick the back of your neck. What time was it anyways?

“SO NICE TO MEET YOU- OH YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE!”

Your mothers voice was loud enough to carry all the way to your little corner in the tomato patch. You shot to your feet, craning your neck to see her enthusiastically fawning over a slightly nervous Khargaad. You could hear him nervously chuckling as the two exchanged words.

Well, might as well go save him. You looked down at your work clothes covered in grass stains and mud. Hair was sticking to the back of your sweaty neck. Gross. Probably didn’t smell pretty either.

Your mother caught you out of the corner of her eye and pointed excitedly, “THERE SHE IS!”

You cringed. Gods she was making all this fuss and you looked like you just crawled out of a ditch.

“Hello! I see you met Ma.” You were trying to casually wipe the mix of dirt and sweat from your face, wading over to them through the field. He felt his heart skip a bit when you got closer. You smelled so earthy. And the musk of your sweat was… it could drive him feral.

He started imagining all the ways he could steal you away and worship you. Fill you. Taste you.

“Um… Khargaad?”

He jolted out of his sinful haze, “I couldn’t show up empty handed.” He thrust a basket into your arms. It was laden with fancy imported fruits. “This- This is too much. This must have cost-”

“Hush now,” his voice was like warm honey, “I hunt big game, I can afford it.” He had a cocky little smirk on his face. You thanked him, motioning to follow you into the cottage.

He looked back at your mom one more time, “It was so nice to meet you, Ma’am.”

-

Your first lessons together went just as well as predicted. By the end he was properly frustrated, arms crossed and everything.

“The letters. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s all… mixed up.”

“Let’s just end it here for today.”

He was so cute like this. All flustered. 

He stood up from his seat, being careful to crouch as he easily exceeded the height of the ceiling. “Alrighty, let’s get to work.” He crossed the room in one long stride, pulling his shirt over his head. He looked strong, but not in the way statues are with their lean bodies and taught chiseled muscles. He looked like a man who ate well and worked hard. Your eyes wandered to the slight love handles that peaked over the waistband of his trousers. Gods you were no better than a man, thinking about how bad you wanted to feel him in your hands.

He glanced behind his shoulder, “Where first?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Khargaad.”

“Do you think I’m going to just leave with all this work to be done?”

-

He followed you like an excited puppy to the tomato patch you had been working on. You had tried to tell him that he didn’t need to waste the rest of his day helping with this. But he knew he didn’t need to. He wanted to. And who was going to stop him? Certainly not you.

He started on one end, and you the other, working slowly until you met in the middle. By the end, your hands were red and scratched up from pulling the thistle weeds. Of course, Kharghaad’s were so calloused that it was like he had a pair of gloves on. He gave a little gasp when he saw your sore fingers. “Why didn’t you say anything…” He scooped your small hands into his, as delicate as you would pick up a fresh baby bird.

Every time he touched you it was like this great release. Your mother, as loving as she was, never quite developed a touchy-feely nature. You were so used to it fleeting as soon as it was there. Quick handshakes, brushing against someone in the market. You craved physical touch.

So when Khargaad didn’t let go of your hands. When he held them so carefully and tenderly. So deliberately. You found yourself trying to memorize every little second of the moment.

“I’ll have to buy you gloves.” He muttered, picking out the little needles with surprising dexterity. He took his canteen and went to rinse off the skin. “I can wash my own hands, Khargaad.” You chuckled.

“But I want to,” He blurted out with immediate embarrassment, “Sorry, I guess you could say it’s an orc thing? It’s sorta like… we’re very communal. There’s no reason to do much of anything alone, if you think about it…” He sort of trailed off like he was getting ahead of himself. He paused.

“I hope I'm not smothering you. Maybe humans aren’t like that-” He went to let go of your hands, and a part of you cried out inside. You were tired of trying to play this stoic lone wolf character. It wasn’t who you were. It’s not who any of us are. We all need each other.

“Please, don’t stop…” You whispered to him, thrusting your hands back into his. You uttered the magic words. The words he had been waiting for. He pulled you into his chest. It didn’t matter how gross, hot, and sweaty the two of you were. Or that your mother was most definitely watching joyfully from the kitchen window. Nothing mattered. “Can we go somewhere?” His voice was muffled as he whispered into the top of your head. He was taking long deep sighs, taking in your scent.

“Please…” The need in your voice was palpable. He didn’t waste another moment, leading you to the forest behind your property. “Khargaad… the road is that way.” You motioned behind yourself. “I know a quicker way.” He glanced back at you with that sweet little smirk on his face.

Once past the treeline, the soft light of dusk struggled to breach the overhead foliage. You walked together for some time, before the sound of running water bubbled ahead. He had led you to a little clearing, where in the middle stood a circular style tent. A creek babbled away off to the side. The moon was full and provided plenty of light for you to take it all in. “Do you live here?” 

He nodded, looking down at you expectantly for approval. You grinned, “It’s lovely.”

He snaked a strong arm around your waste, pulling you in. His other hand cupped the back of your head, tilting your face up to his. For a moment he hovered over you, as if waiting for your permission. You reached up to cup his face, thumbing over one of the tusks jutting out of his mouth.

His lips met yours. It started slow, like sipping on a glass of fine wine. Then it was hungry. Like you had both been starved. You were getting drunk off of the needy little grunts he was making, pulling you in flush with his body. You could feel him through his trousers, and it startled you out of your stupor a bit. You hadn’t been with anyone before, and it was bound to happen sooner or later, but this was a bit more than you ever imagined.

It was almost like he sensed your tension, pulling away to look into your eyes, “Let’s get clean.” He had brought his thumb up to caress over your cheek, planting a small peck before jogging to his tent. Watching him disappear under the flap, your mind raced. What if you weren’t ready? What if he’s not patient?

He bounded out towards the stream, beckoning you over. He started to frown as you got closer, like he could smell the apprehension coming off of you, “Do you need to go slower? Do you want to go home? Nothing has to happen. Nothing at all. You are in charge.”

He started unlacing the ties of his trousers. You instinctually looked away, giving him privacy he clearly didn’t need. With the sound of water sloshing you looked back at him submerged up to his sternum. You approached the water’s edge, looking down into the little bubbles churning in the current. “Hey… what’s wrong?” He waded over to the edge, leaning onto the grassy bank. There wasn’t any aire of seduction in his voice, just one of genuine tenderness.

You sucked it up and opened your mouth, “I’ve never done this before…”

“With an orc?”

“No like… I’ve never done this before… ever.” You winced as the words came out. You were a grown adult, this conversation shouldn’t feel embarrassing. But it did nonetheless.

“And so you don’t want to do this?” He didn’t seem fazed at all by the information. “No!” You yelped out a little too enthusiastically, “No- I mean, yes. Yes I do want to. I want you.”

You started to pull at the ties of your shirt, face so flushed it was probably glowing red. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You ripped the shirt off your head like pulling off a bandaid, exposing your chest to the warm summer air. You went to fiddle with the strings of your work pants. He still didn’t look away, and you didn’t ask him to.

And there you were, clothed only in moonlight. Khargaad thought, maybe the moon had come out just for you tonight, to see your beauty for itself.

You stepped down into the water. “Are you sure you’re human? Not a beautiful fairy playing tricks on me?” Khargaad was completely entranced by you, eyes roaming over the curve of your shoulders to the curves of your breasts.

You felt some of the tension ease, snorting at him “I don’t think a fairy would smell this bad.” He gasped a bit as if he had just remembered, grabbing a bar of soap he had retrieved from the tent. “May I?” He asked, lathering up the bar in his hands.

You nodded, letting him wade closer to you. You felt the palms of his massive hands begin to work themselves into your hair, massaging his fingers into your scalp. “Oh-” You exclaimed a rather embarrassing moan, but it felt so good. He finished and went to clean his own hair. “Hey, it’s my turn now!” You scolded him. He was more than happy to let you clean him. As he said previously, it’s a part of orc culture to do things with other people. That includes bathing.

And oh how he loved to see you doing orc things. Like wearing that yellow dress dyed with orc spices, and making those pickled eggs for him. It made him think about how great it would be to bring you home with him, to meet all of his family. For you to find a place in his tribe. He missed home a lot, and now you were a part of that picture. You finished running your fingers through the curls of his clean hair.

He heard the sloshing of water, turning around to see you drying yourself off. He joined you. You cast a quick glimpse below his waist, blushing furiously at his partially hard cock.

You walked together to the flap of the tent. The inside surprised you. It was so… cozy. “Ah-” He had leaned down to nuzzle into your neck, you loved the feeling of his tusks against your skin. He pulled you to what could best be described as a nest. A nest of pillows and blankets. He very carefully leaned you onto your back, “Is this okay?”

You giggled at him, “Yes Khargaad. I will tell you if I need to stop, okay?”

“Promise?” He leaned back on his knees, his olive green skin looking lovely in the warm glow of the lantern lighting the tent. His member was on full display, completely unashamed. The way it twitched in anticipation made your stomach flutter. “Yes.”

He lied down next to you, peppering little kisses in the crook of your neck. His hands began to roam your body, starting with your shoulders and slowly moving down to your tits. His calloused palm grazed over the sensitive peaks, causing you to let out a breathy sigh. He took your left breast into his hand, thumbing over your hardened nipple. He palmed your chest for a few moments more, like he was savoring each and every new part of you he explored. You felt his cock hard against your leg. You shifted your thigh, giving him just the lightest sensation of friction. The groan he mumbled into your skin made you feel hot between your legs. You clenched your thighs together, trying to get some relief.

His hand traveled down to your stomach, caressing the curves and grabbing a soft handful of skin. “Good…” He whispered. You shivered as his hand glided over your hips, so close to your entrance. He reached for the inside of your thigh, pulling it over into his cock. He let out another breathy sigh that left you completely slick with desire. His hand hovered over the mess of hair covering your mound. You opened your legs, giving him permission.

He started by slowly palming you, just beginning to give you the attention your pussy was desperate for. You felt a finger slip past your folds, getting drenched in the slickness. Khargaad shifted you up a bit so he could have better access to your chest. He dipped down, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucked playfully. “Oh f-fuck-” You were stuttering at the pleasure of it all. He grinned into your chest, “Keep making those noises sweetheart.” The pet name made your heart flutter.

He kept gently probing a finger up and down your slit, until he dipped one down just at the beginning of your entrance. His fingers were bigger than your own, but this wasn't so much of a stretch. He slowly sheathed the finger in you, “Tight.” He grunted. He made a come hither motion into that sensitive spot of your inner walls. You yelped out a completely sinful moan as he prodded you a few more times. His finger exited your hole, pulling the wetness of your cunt onto your swollen and sensitive clit.

“Khargaad-” Your hips bucked up into him as he swirled long languid circles around that little bundle of nerves. He pulled off, and sat back on his knees, “Can I taste you?”

It was the way he asked more than anything. Like he was close to begging for it. You nodded, spreading your legs for him. He settled down in front of you, using both of his thumbs to spread your lips apart. You felt the tip of his fat tongue probe your needy pussy. He reached up to play with your nipples, while he moved up to your throbbing clit. He started with light kitten-licks, making you whine and buck up into his mouth. That wonderful tongue of his made swirls and then quick flickering motions over the sensitive spot. At this point you were almost completely lost in pleasure, and reached down to thread your fingers through his soft brown curls. 

You were already sensitive when he started, so you were very close to finishing. You actually yelled when he inserted a finger into you. Prodding that sensitive spot while attacking your sensitive clit; it was making the most obscene wet noises. “Close.” That was all you could manage as he devoured you. There it was, feeling crushed over you like a ton of bricks. You coated this hand, legs spasming. He dipped down to lap up the remnants of your release. Your taste, your smell, the feeling of his hair clenched in your fist. He was addicted.

He leaned back, taking in his work. You had a hand on your forehead and a hand on your chest, calming down from what you just experienced. You glanced down at him, both hands on his thighs. His cock was completely erect, tip glistening with pre-cum. It was so heavy it bowed down under its own weight. “Y/n…” He was trying to figure out what to say next. His cock needed to be buried in your pretty little cunt. He needed to bottom out into you. He wanted to hear the sound of his heavy balls slapping against your skin with every thrust. But he couldn’t say that, though. He didn’t want to push you if you weren’t ready.

So when you propped yourself up on your elbows, legs spread for him, he almost felt like crying. His human mate was so strong. So ready for him.

He crawled over you, pinning your legs over his shoulders. He took the base of his cock into his fist, guiding it slowly over your folds. You were so warm for him. He pushed his pulsating tip past your lips, wincing from the sensitivity. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, but you were completely entranced watching his cock slide into you. His tip found your hole, sliding in but not going any further. He was absolutely strangeling the pillow he was resting his hand on, trying to maintain control. Khargaad was watching you, every little subtle expression. He kept sinking himself into you, stopping when you made the first wince of pain. He was big, and you were so tight. 

“Y/n?” You looked up at him through those pretty lashes. He nearly lost it all right there, just from the eye-contact. You got off of your elbows, leaning down completely. You gave a little nod, still making direct eye contact. Slowly and gently, he worked his way in until his hips were flush with yours. He leaned back, still buried in you, letting you adjust to the stretch.

He wouldn’t last long at all, seeing you like this. Your little face with knotted brows, arms thrown overhead. Khargaad brought his hand to your stomach, rubbing little circles into the soft skin with his thumb. You were perfect. Perfect to take his seed. Perfect for growing a little half-orc.

He wouldn’t yet, of course. Not until you were ready. For you, he would wait as long as needed. But his strange orc hormones and instincts craved it beyond explanation.

He began rocking out and back into you, keeping a slow languid pace. You reached out for him, and in an instant his head was nuzzled in your neck again. His pace started to ramp up a bit, earning little mewls from your lips. Oh he definitely wouldn't last much longer. “W-where…” His breath hitched in your ear. “Huh?” You were too flustered to try to understand what he was asking.

“Going to-” He was hissing and groaning, barely able to work out a sentence, “On your body- ah- or o-on the bed?” His motions were getting jerky. “Fuck- sorry- oh fuck.”

He pulled out just barely in time to empty himself onto your stomach. He fucked his rough fist through the climax, sighing at the sight of his seed coating your tummy. It felt a lot warmer than you expected, and much more… volume. He finally let go of his cock, reaching for a linen cloth and dunking it in a bowl of water he had set nearby. “I made a mess…”

He sounded so guilty, and you giggled at him teasingly. One of his hands cupped your face, while the other softly wiped the length of your cunt, messy from your own slickness. He wiped the cum that was coated across your stomach, being careful not to spill any on the bed.

“You did so good.” He started cooing sweet nothings to you while running his thumbs across your cheekbone, “Wore me out…” He chuckled, throwing the rag across the room. He yawned and stretched his arms above him.

“Do you want me to go home now?” You were all too familiar with the stories women told about men finishing and ordering them to leave. You didn’t quite have the confidence yet, to advocate for yourself. To tell him you wanted to spend the night wrapped up in his arms.

For Khargaad, this question felt like an arrow to the heart. Had he not done enough? To make it clear how badly he needed you with him? He laid down next to you, pulling you close, “I would kill the person who would try to take you from me right now.”

Here is Part 5 for you lovelies <3 <3 <3 btw Khargaad is living in a yurt, that's what I was trying to describe lol.

I attached a playlist I put together. These are the songs I've been listening to while writing this, if anyone wants to hear the vibes :3

Tagged List <3

@reads-stuff-quietly @loo-looland @sluttygirl123 @beaniebaneenie @blushycadaver @sunndust @whyiamadegenerate @the-attic-of-porcelain @freakyotaku059-blog @youknowits-derea @thoughts-of-bear-undercovers @allthecraftandthings @gruffle1 @kennedyabraxas123 @queenies1x1 @jellyslimesofficial @jasminedragoon @rangoismyname @the-queen-of-sorrows @the-dumber-scaramouche @heddaloddafun @swimmingrascalbatdragon @hellodollstuff @wingedghostpepper @pistachioinfernal @honeybaegle @sammehshark @dij-ology @forgemotherkestrel @wafflefries786

[heartfullofleeches]

Loser Reader and Melan, my Girlfailer Jester Gal Yan. Loser Reader could give less of a damn about Melan's clumsiness or the bodies that pile up as a result of her blunders and doing what she must to keep her biggest fan around. Their brain kinda short circuits seeing this tall ass jester monster girl and as the established monster fucker in my stories, Loser Reader will let Melan do whatever she pleases as long as she answers the age old question for them.

-

"I-I'm really really sorry about your friend! I was just doing knife practice again and I saw you both walk by and I started to panic and the blade just slipped from my hands and-"

As the freakishly tall woman rambles on, your eyes briefly flicker from the bells dangling from her collar down to the lifeless body of your coworker. Blood drains from hole in his back roughly the length and width of a small throwing dagger seeping the lining of your sneakers. It has to be the saddest part of this ordeal - you really needed those shoes for work tomorrow.

You're more worried about this odd woman than him. It's his own fault for spending the gas money you gave him on cigarettes again. If she keeps on apologizing without paying to take a breath, you'll have two dead bodies to deal with. Does she even need to breathe? She doesn't exactly look all that human now that you've gotten a better look at her.... Some type of clown....or jester. It's probably nothing, but her appearance coupled with her height leads you to believe otherwise. Did you genuinely happen to stumble across a jester girl throwing daggers at a wall past midnight? Your thoughts begin to wander away as you stand there. A process some unfamiliar with your way of being might find troubling if they happen to catch ear of what your mind spews out.

"Do they....honk?..."

In the midst of tripping over her own words, the sudden slip of your tongue nearly sends the woman tumbling over oversized ends of her sleeves. She stands upright, balancing her weight on trembling legs as she mutters a meek. "Does..what honk?"

Crap, did you say that outloud? "Hm? Oh, nothing... I was just thinking of some thing I heard about clowns. I can see you're more of a jester, but that falls under the same number right?"

The woman stares down at her shoes. You think so, anyway - it's hard to tell where she's looking with her hat blocking fourty percent of her face. "I...I guess? If you're talking about my nose then uh it does... sometimes"

"I was talking about your chest."

You could've sworn she popped a blood vessel from how her pale face turned tomato red.

"You.... HUH?"

You raise your hands in defense, however your guilt ends there. "Sorry! My brain has a mind of its own. If it makes you feel better, I say dumb shit all the time. If it clears up my mistake entirely, you were pretty sharp with that knife throwing."

The blush of her face dims. Less fiery and more...warm. "You .. you really think so?"

"Yeah. You could probably even avoid casualties if you lift that hat off your eyes.... Listen, I really don't want to be around when people find this guy and I'm not a snitch either so you don't have to worry about me ratting on you. He's your problem now. See y'all!"

Squeezing past the jester, you sprint off into the direction of your apartment - meticulously dodging the glow of street lifes to keep your bloody shoe prints unnoticed till dawn. Alone in the alleyway, Melan reflects on the events that just occurred. She... just killed someone. That alone should terrified her, but every thought in her mind cycles back to you. You're strange. A bit perverse, but you spoke your mind about her.. Was everything you said to her true too?

Dragging the body behind a dumpster, Melan wishes that just maybe you'd become another one of her problems.

One that would follow her through her improvement as a performer.

[jcollinswrites]

I just can't stop smiling at Narmer's manner. When he was extremely direct about whether we were interested in him or not, my poor male MC was about to throw himself in the water XD

I just love the fact that Narmer is straightforward about things, it makes my shy MC's life so much easier. Sure, he turns red like a tomato but it makes it easier to avoid paranoia.

I've lost count of how many times I've been frustrated with a RO because he just wasn't direct about his feelings. Like, man, it's not that hard. Just tell me if you're interested or not. Luckily with Narmer I don't run that risk

And I also don't intend to judge his relationship with his wife or anything like that. I just don't like to judge a person based only on part of a conversation I heard and I don't even know the whole context. So suffering on my route? I'll be dodging as much as I can Imao.

Also, from what I understand, he is not officially married to his supposed wife, or is he? Considering that apparently no one knows about this woman except those closest to him or maybe Ahmose if he talks about his mother. I confess that I was a little confused in this part but it's probably because English isn't my first language and sometimes my mind just freezes haha. So I didn't understand if he wasn't officially married or the MC simply didn't know this information.

If that were the case, would we be able to marry him or would we be something like a concubine or something?

If he wasn't, and it was possible to marry him, what would your reaction be if the MC left a ring in your room surrounded by flowers with a little card:

Will you marry me?

( ) Absolutely

( ) Of course

( ) Yes

( ) No (Optional)

While hiding behind the door watching your reaction?

⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

Anyway, I love your IF please never stop with it 🥹💕 I've never smiled as much with a character as I am smiling right now! I can't wait for the next update. As far as I remember, this is the one where we blocked the route, right? Please Narmer, give me more kisses on the forehead and your hand in marriage 🥹🫴

(I got a little carried away and it got bigger than it should have, sorry XD)

Yes, Narmer wanted to be very straightforward in letting the MC know that he is not uninterested, but it's going to be hard to be in any sort of relationship with him for many reasons. So he (and the partner) are either all in, or no deal.

The wife business was probably confusing because I didn't write in detail yet about the king's marriage rights. This will be explained a bit more in Narmer's route, so things will get clearer later if you choose his romance.

The king is the only person in the country who can have more than one spouse. Narmer is officially married to Nefru, but being married to the king doesn't automatically make someone a queen consort. The king has to give out that title. So Nefru is a consort, but she is not the main consort, and was not given any title, nor does he go anywhere with her in public, so that's why most people don't know about her. Simply for being married to the king, her official rank is princess.

Narmer could technically marry anyone else he wishes without getting a divorce. He can also make anyone else his queen consort. It's his right. (for a male MC, Narmer will figure out another title)

It will be possible to marry him, if you manage to reach at least a neutral ending with him. In the scenario you mentioned, Narmer would smile and say, "Let's not get the word out that you were the one who asked me and not the other way around, but... yes, I've been thinking about it too."

Thanks for the sweet message 🥰 The romance lock-in choice will come in the next public update (probably in a few weeks I think), so not long to wait now :)))

[riddle-me-ri]

Kinda funny Lupin ask! The Lupin gangs reaction to walking in on the reader changing or showering getting a full view of the ahem promise lands?

a/n: aaahhhh omg anon big brain idea, absolutely love this and I hope I did it justice! Enjoy!

Content Warning: brief mentions of nudity, no mention of specific genitalia, slight suggestiveness…its Lupin and Fujiko…so yeah lol

Lupin and Gang React to Accidentally Seeing Reader Naked

Lupin the Third

- It definitely wasn't an accident-

- No matter how many times he may claim it to be, don't believe his faux innocence.

- Lupin has done all he can with the best of his espionage skills to get a glimpse of your naked form…

- Locked door? You should know he's the best locksmith in the world…

- He's always pleased with what he sees before you smack him or slam the door in his face.

- Likely to take his clothes off too to be in the same position as you are-

- I mean after all, it's not fun if just one person has their clothes off, right?

- Besides, maybe it'll take the edge off of him catching you in a vulnerable state?

- It's up to you whether you smack him again or decide to give in to his temptation.

Jigen Daisuke

- Jigen's heart just about leaped up into his throat.

- He curses out an apology before slamming the door.

- He didn't know you were in the shower! He thought you were out with Fujiko and Goemon!

- It takes a minute for the gunslinger to catch his breath…

- Jigen grows frustrated that he can’t seem to let the small glimpse of you escape his mind…

- He isn't a pervert like Lupin! He conducted himself better than that!

- Things will definitely be awkward for awhile…

- Thankfully, you two seem to mutually agree to just forget the incident ever happened.

Goemon Ishikawa XIII

commits seppuku on the spot

- But in all seriousness, he's basically just as freaked out and surprised as you are.

- Goemon will incessantly apologize as he almost darts out the room.

- He doesn't even hear you calling his name, reassuring him that it was okay and an accident!

- You were more worried about scarring him than you were about yourself being accidentally exposed to him.

- Whilst he was worried, you may perceive him as some kind of peeping tom.

- His face is flushed tomato red as he tries to shake the memory of your naked body-

- He isn't a pervert like Lupin! 2.0

- Goemon is likely to avoid you until you insist on having a heart to heart with him-that you know it was an accident and nothing intentional.

- This does put Goemon at ease, and on the bright side, he is glad it was him and not Lupin…

goemon would have to go back to his original plan to assassinate the gentleman thief.

Fujiko Mine

- Honestly, kind of on par with Lupin whether it was an actual “accident” or not.

- Fujiko is a natural tease…

- And you’re fairly certain you told her you were going to change…

- Fujiko is definitely likely to feign innocence-

- Apologies dripping in honey with a fake surprised look as she slowly tries to leave the room.

- Her eyes darted around from the ceiling, your body, the walls, your body-

- You'll likely have to playfully throw something in her direction to get her to leave you be with any actual urgency.

- Fujiko will offer to comment on what you're wearing….or at least whatever you have laid out to wear.

- No its not an ulterior motive at all. She wants her companions to always look their best~

- Of course that's assuming you stick to your plan of changing into clothes and not winding up getting Fujiko out of hers.

Inspector Koichi Zenigata

- Immediately frozen in place-

- Until your voice snaps him out of it

- And the door slams so loud, and brutally, you thought Zenigata may have slammed it off the hinges.

- Apologies loudly and profusely through the door-

- Zenigata doesn't know whether to stay and hear you respond back…

- Or just start heading for the hills, kicking himself for being rash and rude.

- He cared and respected you and didn't want this little mishap to ruin his image to you-

- Zenigata is slightly relieved when he hears you apologizing and that it was all just an accident.

- The sigh of relief the inspector let out could blow out more than a dozen lit birthday candles.

[cutielights]

AHHHHHHHH! I LOVE UR WORK!!!!!!!!c

If u see this, can you do Rottmnt boys x sister reader? And when I say she’s random, I mean RANDOM

Y/n: Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee i Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee

Donnie: WHAT!?!

Y/n: ……can I have APPY juice?

Donnie: No

Thank u

TYSM LOVLEY <3333 I CRUMPLE OVER AND DIE WHEN PEOPLE SEND IN ASKS LIKE THIS

I’m just putting this as g/n so it can be read as anything and more people are comfortable reading it bc for a while I avoided F! Readers like the plague haha gender dysphoria go brrr

Tw: mild language

Nobody panic. It’s not lol-so-random-xD core.

Rise boys + Random sibling reader (platonic! tcest dni)

Leo

Encourages it

You probably learned it from him let’s be honest

“Let’s poor soup on dads head.”

“Miso or Tomato?”

Giving Raph heart attacks with the shit you guys say

“You’re gonna do w h a t ?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“And afterwards we’re getting door-handles for April.”

“Does she need new door handles?”

“She will.”

Raph

He grew up with this

He is still panicking over the soup incident

He has you, Leo and Mikey sharing a braincell

Wishes you all had one brain cell each

Sometimes you say something that really just throws him off though

Waking him up in the middle of the night just to tell him something

“Crocs are like the Tumblr of footwear.”

“It’s literally five am, please go to sleep.”

“Like here?”

“No. In your room.”

Donnie

Spending your free time annoying him

You guys are siblings that’s basically a free pass

In your eyes at least

“Do you think you could make like a cheap jungle, bigger than like Russia?”

“A, a cheap jungle?”

“Yeah that’s what I said.”

*cue a long rant on why making a functioning jungle wouldn’t be cheap in any way due to inflation and costs and buying the land and the seeds and creating a functioning ecosystem god forbid you want to put animals in there*

“Yeah but like, could you though?”

“Did you even LISTEN?”

He then kicked you out of his room

Mikey

Matching each other’s energy

“I kinda feel like a soggy plate of broken pottery.”

“Mood.”

“With cheese on it.”

“Just like a pizza.”

“Pineapple pizza? Nah, the next step is grape pizza.”

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?”

Embodiment of dumb and dumber

Both of you probably have adhd let’s be completely honest here

Getting distracted at least ten times during five minutes

[shares-a-vest]

Part 1

"Oh my god!" Eddie exclaims, "The gas station is closed!"

"What?" Steve leans forward, squinting out through the front windshield.

"Can you not see that it is?" Eddie asks, his voice laced with sheer panic, "Jesus Christ, you need a pair of glasses," he reaches for the steering wheel, "Pull over. I'll drive."

"Get off!" Steve shrieks, elbowing him out of the way.

The car momentarily swerves to the centre line but thankfully, there are no cars about – the world's most obvious sign that the gas station is indeed, closed.

He purses his lips as he slows the car to a crawl as they move through the crossroad and past Ernie's, a cheap gas station that is the go-to place for scoring some booze without being carded and procuring condoms without judgment.

He has no idea why the gas station would be closed but, considering the universe hasn't exactly been on their side today, Steve checks his mirrors and turns the Beemer around, resigned to an afternoon of everything but sex.

"Wait!" Eddie says, slapping him on the shoulder, the chain of his leather jacket tinkling with each motion.

Steve looks over and they both nod at the same time.

"Melvad's."

– 🍌🍌🍌 –

"Steve," Eddie spits through gritted teeth.

"No."

"Stevie!"

"Dude, you go."

"Steve..." Eddie steps in front of him and raises his hand, balling up his fist with frustration – he even throws in a nose scrunch in an attempt to make his point, "After everything that has happened over the past six months, there is no way in hell I am walking up to that pharmacy counter and buying a box of condoms in full view of half of Hawkins' housewives."

Steve folds his arms, "And I'm not buying condoms right in front of Claudia Henderson!"

He glances at the woman browsing three aisles over, terrified she will soon feel her ears burning and look up from the overpriced tomatoes.

Eddie scoffs, "Oh please, everyone knows you saunter that tight ass all over town. Anyway, I'm sure she'll find it 'so responsible' you use protection."

He uses air quotations and rolls his eyes with such condescension that Steve can't help but reach forward to snatch at his boyfriend's ringless hand and squeeze.

"Come on," he says, tugging him back in the direction of the entrance – they need to get a move on before anyone sees them.

He's sure Dustin will be lurking somewhere, ready to pounce and ask questions and be a goddamn nightmare and do everything he possibly can to make their afternoon even worse.

– 🍌🍌🍌 –

"Forget it," Eddie sighs as he slams his car door shut.

Steve is about to chide him but Eddie's shoulders slump and he sucks back a sniffle.

"What's wrong?" he asks, already knowing the answer.

"Let's just..." Eddie begins, looking forlornly out at the street, "I dunno – go back to your castle and I'll suck you off, or some shit."

"Wow, such a romantic," Steve quips as he fires up the car, feeling a flush creep up his neck nonetheless.

Eddie remains silent, flitting between huffing and sighing as he peels out and heads down the street, ready to scour the town in search of a solution.

The sun is setting now. A warm afternoon perfect for ahem, fucking one's boyfriend for the first time gone – wasted!

"What if I just..." Steve begins, distracted by the large sign showcasing several stores one street over from Melvad's, "I could just ask someone to buy them for us?"

He blinks up at the green and orange Family Video sign and smiles.

"Jesus Christ," Eddie mutters, sinking in his seat.

– 🍌🍌🍌 –

"Absolutely not."

"But Rob!"

"This is why you called in sick today?"

Steve runs a hand through his hair. He knows it's no use lying, or avoiding eye contact with his best friend because Robin knows that he is finally going to do it with Eddie.

... It's just that he had failed to mention that they set a date that also ended up being a perfect summer's day.

He looks around the empty store – it's not like he is needed here, anyway.

"Why could you just – " she makes a scissors motion with her fingers, " – Cut the wrapper open?"

Steve's jaw drops.

"Oh..." he hums barely above a whisper, "I didn't... we..."

He can feel Eddie shrug next to him and murmur, "We didn't... think of that. I... I don't even think Steve owns... a pair of scissors... His... Y'know his desk is pretty... bare."

Steve slowly turns his head as Eddie rambles, catching him making some weird swish motion he supposes is supposed to represent his empty student desk.

But soon they make eye contact and –

Eddie moves first, turning on his heel at break-neck speed. Steve quickly follows, the two of them scrambling for the front glass door with such force that the bell sounds like it could knock straight off its hinges.

"Hey, at least you kiddos seemed to have paid attention in health class!"

Conclusion here

[leeknowsnot]

CHAPTER 20 — "Tomato Sauce and Unspoken Things"

The diner was warm, a little too warm for Lina’s liking.

The air buzzed faintly with old pop songs crackling from a ceiling speaker, and the clink of forks against ceramic echoed from nearby tables. But at their booth by the window, there was a kind of muted awkwardness that had nothing to do with temperature and everything to do with the unspoken tension sitting between Lina and Seungmin.

Soojin, oblivious and ever bubbly, filled the silence with a one-woman rant.

“…I’m just saying, if they’re gonna keep ditching me for their fifth couple field trip this month, then I should at least get some kind of sibling tax, right? Like emotional compensation? Like, leave me pizza money or a signed waiver that I can throw a party.”

Across the table, Soojin waved her hands dramatically. Her words bounced from topic to topic with ease, while Lina and Seungmin sat side by side, quiet. Too quiet.

Lina shifted in her seat, folding her arms on the table, then unfolding them again.

Beside her, Seungmin leaned slightly back, eyes on the menu even though he’d already ordered. The distance between their shoulders felt wider than it ever had — though in reality, it was only a few inches. But after two weeks of no teasing, no shared walks, no stolen glances and stupid bickering, it felt like the air between them had solidified. Like she couldn’t reach through it anymore.

He feels far away, Lina thought, eyes tracing the line of his jaw.

And he hadn’t even done anything. That was the worst part. He was still him, just… quieter. Normal. Civil.

Which somehow made her feel worse.

The food finally arrived, breaking the air with the clatter of dishes. A waft of spice and garlic hit her nose as her pasta was placed in front of her. She mumbled a soft “thank you” to the server and twirled her fork, avoiding everyone’s gaze.

Soojin took a sip of her soda and leaned on her elbows. “So, Seungmin,” she began, pausing dramatically. “What’ve you been up to lately? Haven’t seen you around much either.”

Seungmin glanced up mid-bite, then shrugged. “Nothing special. Usual stuff. Baseball practice, school… walking home alone.”

The word wasn’t sharp. It wasn’t bitter. It was barely even emphasized. Just dropped in casually like a pebble into water.

But it hit Lina like a boulder.

She flinched — just barely — her foot retreating slightly under the table before it snapped forward, lightly kicking his shin in retaliation.

Seungmin muffled a snicker behind his hand.

Lina gave him the side-eye of death.

“Dramatic much,” she muttered under her breath.

He gave her a little grin, clearly pleased with himself.

Then he turned to Soojin again. “What about you? What’ve you and Lina been up to these days? Haven’t seen the two of you around either.”

Lina’s eyes snapped to Soojin in warning.

The silent plea was instant: Don’t. You. Dare.

Soojin paused, fork hovering mid-air. Her gaze flicked between Seungmin and Lina, and a mischievous smile tugged at her lips. She shrugged. “Oh, you know. Just school stuff. Projects.”

Seungmin hummed thoughtfully, buying it without a blink. “Figures.”

The guilt settled deeper in Lina’s chest. She stabbed a helpless ravioli with too much force and chewed like it had wronged her in another life.

The rest of the conversation flowed more easily. Soojin and Seungmin fell into a rhythm — talking about the upcoming school baseball match, midterms, and which teacher was on the verge of a meltdown.

Lina stayed quiet. Pouting, really. Her fork moved mechanically, twirling strands of pasta she wasn’t even tasting anymore. She sat in silence like a sulking child denied candy, eyes narrowed at her plate.

But then — in the middle of Soojin recounting how the vice principal had tripped on a stray volleyball last week — Lina made a rare, biting comment.

“Honestly, I’m surprised the volleyball survived.”

It was deadpan. Dry. Perfectly timed.

Both Soojin and Seungmin paused to stare at her — not because she’d spoken, but because it had been a while since she’d joined the conversation. Soojin smiled in amusement, but her expression faltered slightly.

“Bestie,” Soojin said, voice gently teasing, “you’ve got a little, uh…”

She motioned vaguely to the corner of her own mouth, trying to signal. Lina blinked at her, confused.

“What?”

Soojin pointed more directly now, grinning. “Right there. On your face.”

Lina frowned and glanced at Seungmin for confirmation.

His gaze landed on her, and his expression… softened.

He huffed a quiet laugh, eyes crinkling.

“You’re such a handful,” he murmured.

And then, casually — as if he’d done it a thousand times — Seungmin leaned forward. His thumb swept gently against the corner of her mouth, catching the small smear of tomato sauce on her skin.

Lina froze.

Did he—?

Before she could react, he pulled back and — without a second thought — licked the sauce off his thumb.

Like it was the most natural thing in the world.

And then… just kept eating.

As if nothing had happened.

Silence fell over the table like a curtain.

Soojin’s eyes had bulged, fork frozen halfway to her mouth, her entire soul screaming internally as her mouth formed a silent “OH MY GOD.”

Lina, meanwhile, was about to combust.

She stared at her plate, blinking rapidly, the tips of her ears glowing scarlet. Her heart thundered in her chest — traitorous, mortified, loud.

She could still feel the brief brush of his thumb on her skin. Still see the flick of his tongue. Still hear the casual, fond way he’d called her a handful.

Everything around her dimmed for a moment — background noise fading into static, her thoughts short-circuiting.

Her mind could only muster one thought.

What the hell just happened?

[anti-romantico]

[too complicated] stray kids bangchan

warnings: unprotected sex (tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes), kitchen sex, oral (f recieving), cum swallowing, teasing, tension, let me know if i missed something

words: 1464

A/N: I've been trying to write for bangchan for a while now, not likig anything, but my friend recommended me this scenario and i love it! so i hope you guys also like it <3

You two were tipsy, not drunk. You knew what was happening, so did he. But god, his tongue fighting against yours, his hands not being able to control themselves. But both mentally thanked Jisung when he called you because no one in the party seemed to know where you were. He didn’t see anything, though, and at least you wished he did, because you needed someone to talk to. A best friend? Well, that was the funny part, Chris was your best friend, and he has been avoiding you since the kiss. And the best (worst) part was that you lived together, so it was really hard for you to forget what happened when the whole place smelled like him.

9 in the morning and you were done with your breakfast. It was Saturday so none of you needed to be anywhere, but you still looked at his door, ready to scold him for being late. And maybe you stared too hard because his door opened, showing a very tired Chris. He froze when he found you already looking, but he didn’t say anything, not even a good morning. He just walked around you to the kitchen counter and grabbed a bowl and his box of cereal.

— Are you seriously going to ignore me? Not even pretend? — You asked annoyed, turning your body to look at him. Or his back at least.

— Don’t know what you’re talking about. — He caressly said, walking to the fridge to grab the milk.

— Oh, suddenly you’re 15 again? — And Chris tried his best to now turn around, he just shrugged his shoulders. — You know what, fine. Enjoy your cereal.

He let you throw everything back to their place and slam your door. It was when he finally turned around and looked at your, now empty, seat. He didn’t know what to do.

You both successfully avoided each other for the rest of the day, literally waiting for the other’s door to get closed to go out and eat. It wasn’t until the next morning you met again, this time he was the one having his breakfast when you got out of your room.

You debeated yourself if you should be as childish as him and ignore him, but you were better than that. — Good morning. — You said in a robotic voice. He didn’t answer. You rolled your eyes and, shamelessly, imitated what he did yesterday. —  Did you sleep well? — You said, making your coffee. 

Chris was confused, and he even turned around, only to find your back facing him. — Uh… Kind of. — He answered, knowing what you were doing.

— Why? Hard night? — You poured the hot water on your cup and grabbed the granulated coffee.

— You can say that… Listen, I’m sorry for yesterday, I…

— What happened yesterday? I don’t remember. — He bit his tongue, hating that you interrupted him. You knew that.

— I was an asshole. — And contrary to what anyone could think, he knew when he was wrong and wasn’t scared to admit it.

— Really? Why? — You turned around and found him already standing up and walking to you.

— Please don’t do this… I know I did it, but that doesn’t mean you have to. — He kept his distance, still having flashbacks of that night.

— Don’t know what you’re talking about. — He had enough. Chris took another two steps and removed the cup from your hands, putting it away.

— I don’t know what you want me to say. “I didn’t mean to”? I did. I kissed you and I don’t regret it.

— Then why did you ignore me AND avoided me for almost a week? 

— Because I’m a coward.

— Yeah, no shit, Christopher.

You two stayed silent for a couple of minutes, the coffee and soggy cereal long forgotten. 

— Now what? — You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

— I wish I knew… — He looked away.

— Why did you have to ignore me like that, then? You’re acting as if we fucked. — And you said those words. And you hated that you knew what his silence meant. — If you’re not going to answer, I'll walk to my room and pack my things. I don’t want this to be more complicated. 

— No! — He grabbed your arms to stop you, even though you didn’t even move. He slowly let you go, afraid you would leave. — Let’s… forget it, please. 

— It’s easy for you. — You answered, disappointed.

— It’s not, but I prefer that over losing my best friend.

— It’s easier than admitting there was something there? Maybe more? — You only use that tone of voice with the guys you flirted with, and Chris knew that.

— Please don’t do this to me. — His hands weren’t obeying his thought, caressing your hair.

— Don’t know what… — You repeated, but his finger around your neck stopped you.

— Stop saying that. — His voice turned deep, making you smirk.

— Or what?

— You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this counter, don’t push your luck. 

— It’s not like Jisung is going to interrupt us again, Chris. We’re alone.

Something in Chris’ head snapped, tightening the fingers around your neck to pull you and kiss you hard, making both of you moan. It felt like a big relief to finally kiss after ignoring each other for a week.

You were sucking on his tongue when you hand traveled down and got inside his pajama pants, immediately getting contact with his cock. He slept naked, the pajamas were only to not walk naked around you.

He hissed over your mouth. — Just like that, baby. Tighten a little. — The deep voice was gone, he was at your mercy, enjoying your skillful hand. — Use your other hand, please, grab my balls. Yes, like that, stroke me faster. — His hands pulled down his pants to give you more access and just let you stroke him. His moans were loud. You were so wet by his sounds. The feeling of his wet cock from his precum making everything a mess wasn’t helping either.

He didn’t last long, cumming on your hands and spilling a little on your pajama shirt. You licked his cum from your hands while staring at his eye, sending him to his knees. He pulled down your shorts and underwear, throwing them behind him. You spread your legs a little and let him lick the life out of you. 

Not only he was tongue fucking you, his finger were teasing your butthole just to add a little more of pleasure without making you uncomfortable. But he didn’t let you cum. You whined and pulled his hair, hearing him laugh.

He stood up and kissed you, making you taste yourself. His hands carried you from your butt, sitting you on the counter. And you were about to protest that you made food on it, when he thrusted in you with just one move. The feeling was different, the whole act felt different. Wet sounds filled the whole apartment, you two were too immerse in the fucking to even moan.

He was going slow, not wanting this to finish. Your eyes were on him until you couldn’t keep them open anymore. You threw your head back when the tip of his cock touched too deep. And the moan you let out was like an invitation for Chris to move faster.

The cereal boxes were digging into your back, but you didn’t want to switch positions, the angle was sending you into oblivion. He grabbed your neck again to kiss you. You weren’t complaining, it felt so good. He finally took off your shirt and attacked your nipples without stopping his hips.

You know your landlord was going to hear about this, but you would worry about that later. You felt like you ran out of hair, pulling Chris’ hair to let him know you were cumming. And this time, he helped you, massaging your clit with his middle finger until you finally cummed. 

He pulled out and started to stroke his cock fast. You pushed him back, got on your knees and replaced his hand with your mouth. It didn’t take him too long, the warm feeling of your mouth sending him to paradise and back. You swallowed him and got up to kiss him, this time making him taste himself. 

You kissed for a while until you felt his cock twitch against your stomach. You giggled.

— Does this mean you forgive me? — Chris innocently asked. 

— How can you act so cute after I just swallowed you cum?

— Don’t talk like that. — He kissed you again. — So?

— Maybe you need to apologize again. — You joked, brushing his hair back with your fingers.

He kissed you one more time and grabbed your legs, making you round his waist and carry you. — We have plenty of surfaces to fuck on, baby.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sweet Escape 1

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Summary: A strange man crashes into your life.

Characters: Jim Hopper

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your soles crush the wet twigs as you keep your hand out for balance, slick leaves threatening to slip beneath you. You touch the rough bark of each tree as you make your way toward the loud ripple of the river. The smell of rain lingers and draws you in.

You crest the subtle rise in the forest floor and make your way down to the smooth rock that sits only a few feet away from the river's edge. You set down your basket and take out the beat-up casio and check the tape inside. You keep it at low volume as you hit play, Carole King's tone adds to the ambiance of the space, not overpowering or misplaced, but illuminating what is already there.

You near the water and peer down into the silty floor. Frogs hop in the shallows and minnows wiggle through the depths. You spread out your raincoat in the mud and sit atop it as you open your journal.

You put your head down and set to writing about a land of lost princesses and ravenous trolls. You're hoping for a half-chapter at least and expect to be up half the night typing it. One day, you'll have a full transcript... who knows if it will ever go anywhere after that.

You hum along to the speakers' buzz, the sonorous peace of the space breaking suddenly and violently. You hear the rustle from across the river, somewhere in the trees. You hover your pen above the page as you look up into the gloomy space between the leaning trunks. You never heard of any bears around here.

You cry out as the burly figure runs out and splashes into the water. You snap your book shut and drop your pen as you struggle to stand, stopping yourself only as you realise it isn't some deadly grizzly. It's a man, furiously unbuttoning his shirt and scrubbing at his chest and belly. He throws water over his face and snarls out "blech, damn bastard!"

The putrid skunky smell wafts over to you as you stare. The man grumbles, tilting his head as he searches the river's edge, "what is that noise?" He first squints at you and then the Casio. You blink at him dumbly, he must've got himself sprayed, the skunks always come out after the rains.

"Who are you?" He asks, almost as if he is the lone denizen of the woods. He sure looks like he could reside there with his scruffy facial hair unkempt tufts on his head.

"Um..." you gulp and give your name cluelessly.

"Uh," he seems to remember himself and pulls his flannel shirt shut, hiding the pudge beneath, "I, er, ran into a white-tailed bastard..." he growls and shakes his head at himself, "what am I saying, you don't give a shit. Do you give a shit?"

You look around, put off by his demeanour. You push your shoulders up and give a sheepish smile. You tuck your book under your arm and bend to grab your goat, shaking off the mud.

"I'm sorry," you go to the casio and stop the music, "try tomato juice. For the smell."

"Huh, thanks," he huffs, "didn't mean to scare ya off."

"It's... fine," you utter. You're not used to being disturbed out here, it's the very reason you make the trek.

"Just try to avoid the ravine. That little bugger was hanging out there," he calls to you as you put your things in your basket.

"Thanks, I'll keep an eye out," you mutter.

He doesn't respond, not with more than an agitated grunt and the slosh of him wading back to shore. He grumbles to himself as you set off back down the path. Maybe you could hit the library instead.

[alpineshift]

Since prompt 3 is taken could I request prompt 20 with Nico being the one who’s misunderstanding Jack?

of course! coming right up - here's some silly boys in a uni setting ✍️

20. “Why do you insist on misunderstanding me?”

For a such smart guy, Nico can be so intensely dense sometimes.

Jack tells him that, loudly and irritably, when he's finally managed to corner Nico in a study room at the university library. The scene--Nico slowly sinking against the wall, Jack positioned like he's bracing to tackle Nico should he run away--would be hilarious if Jack wasn't sick of Nico's increasingly desperate attempts to dodge him.

It's also a little hurtful to his ego, if Jack's being honest. They're buds, damn it.

"That's not very nice," Nico manages, staring wide-eyed at Jack. Jack scoffs, loudly.

"Well, maybe it's not nice for you to keep avoiding me either, 'schao. You got anything to say for yourself?"

"I'm busy," Nico says, which, yes, he is, Jack's seen his class schedule this semester, and it's a wonder Nico ever gets anything done. But Jack's also seen him blast through four midterms and two in-person presentations and morning bag skates without breaking metaphorical sweat, so.

"We live in the same house. We're bound to run into each other at some point, but we don't, because someone keeps running out. Wanna try again?"

Nico mutters something like not really, but Jack's had it. He's done his part, taken his leap of faith, spilled his guts in the most honest fashion, and all he's gotten in return is, what? Nico literally climbing out bathroom window to avoid him.

"Look, Neeks. If the answer's a no, then all you have to do is say so. All you gotta do is tell me to clear out, to leave you alone, and I will. But I can't live in this limbo, waiting for you to let me down, to see if I've ruined everything between us."

Nico is nearly gaping at him now. "What? What do you mean, let you down? What answer are you looking for?"

For crying out loud, this cannot be happening to him. Maybe Luke is right and Jack really isn't as suave as he says he is (but that's a crisis for another time.) "The answer to when I confessed to you, Nico!"

"You were drunk!" Nico protests. "You weren't being serious!"

"The fuck--I was so serious! And I wasn't drunk! Maybe a frat party wasn't the best place, but you know I don't drink once we land a spot in the tourney brackets!"

"But--you couldn't have been confessing to someone like me," Nico says, hinging on desperate. "That's not possible, you must've meant something else--"

"Why do you insist on misunderstanding me?" Jack yells, throwing his hands up. "Do I need to spell it out for you? I like you, Nico Hischier! I want to take you out! Can we please go on a date so I can hold your stupid hand and buy you dessert and kiss you at the end of the night!"

"Oh," Nico says, looking like he's about to faint. Jack lowers his hands, panting, feeling a little out of his mind. "Oh. Um. Yes?"

"Oh? Yes? Yes?"

"Uh-huh. Yes."

"To all of the above?" Jack sputters, then sputters again when Nico nods, cheeks red as a tomato. "Holy shit. You wanna go on a date with me?"

"Well, more like I want to date you," Nico admits, and Jack could yell again, but for a totally different reason. Nico likes him. Nico wants to date him back.

The door to the study room squeaks open, and they both jump when they see Nate poke his head in. "Hey, cheers to you guys, always nice to see a hot young couple get together, but could you guys keep it down? Some of us really need to pass Intro to Marketing this year."

[genjyoandgojyoandhakkai]

It's Still You - chapter 5

Somewhat recovered, Lucanis, Emmrich, and Xiqaa have their last quiet day in the Lighthouse. Dinner is served.

Tea is nice, Spite said cheerfully, using a word Emmrich had taught him to describe things he liked.

“There you are, dearest. Are you feeling all right?” Emmrich asked.

Still see two of everything. Bright lights hurt our eyes. Our body is not right.

Emmrich shot Lucanis a meaningful look. Lucanis, for his part, studiously avoided making eye contact.

“You’ll tell me if things don’t improve soon, won’t you?” Emmrich asked.

Yes.

Annoyed that Spite revealed more than he wanted, Lucanis walked faster than he should have, practically throwing himself into the cold storage cupboard.

“Cheese toast?” he asked Emmrich.

“Yes, please. Do we still have tomatoes?” Emmrich set the kettle over the fire.

“We do,” Lucanis answered. “I think I saw some pomegranate vinegar, if you would like it.”

Emmrich’s smile was audible. “I’d enjoy that. Thank you, darling.”

Lucanis exhaled, mental equilibrium restored, and set to work preparing their meal.

“Liebling, I know you’re off to Treviso tomorrow, but Johanna’s final rest can’t be postponed any longer. Would you be vexed if I went to consult with Vorgoth instead of accompanying you and Rook?”

“Of course not,” Lucanis said quickly. “I knew we would have separate matters to attend to eventually.”

Read on AO3

[zoniteillusion-pyritedreams]

How I Ended Up Working With Aphrodite (Aka My Celestial Big Sister With Killer Taste)

Okay so… I didn’t plan on vibing with the literal goddess of love, beauty, and divine chaos but she kind of just showed up and refused to leave. And honestly? Best decision I never made.

It all started when I went to a high school friend’s house (she was this gorgeous Mexican-European blend with a mom who looked like she hand-poured moonlight into her tea every morning. I genuinely miss collateral damage though when I had a friend break up.) The moment I walked in, her mom blinked twice, stared at me like I was a walking rose quartz, and said:

“You have a very soft pink aura... you’re clearly one of Aphrodite’s girls.”

Cue me standing there like, "Ma’am I just came for snacks."

But then she asked my birthday and was like “Oh baby, you’re literally ruled by Venus. You’re hers already.”

Casual.

But my first Real encounter with Aphrodite? That came later. In a dream.

Picture this: a room that looks like what would happen if a beach at golden hour made out with a 2000s Victoria's Secret store in heaven. Walls and floors like silk. Deep pinks and midnight blues. Cloudy-seashell lounges. The air smelled like soft vanilla and saltwater kisses.

Aphrodite was there, obviously gorgeous, glowing, unapologetically radiant. And Nyx was too (yes, the primordial night goddess we multitask divinity in this household). They didn’t speak so much as vibe—and it was instant.

Nyx? Protective Mom Energy.

Aphrodite? Big Sister Who’s Seen Some Shit and Will Teach You Everything You Didn’t Know You Needed.

She said, “Hey baby. I’m your big sister. You’re one of mine. You’re a lover girl like me. I got you.”

From that point on? She’s just been… there. Especially in high school, when all my friends started getting into relationships and kept pressuring me to date random guys like it was a group project. Aphrodite was the one whispering, “Girl. Be serious. He’s boring.” And I always listened. My gut? That was her.

One dude I actually gave a chance? One date. Dead vibes. Aphrodite was practically throwing tomatoes from Olympus. “Nope. Try again.”

Even with friendships, she was there. That same girl who introduced me to the idea of Aphrodite? Yeah, she turned out to be the red flag parade. Aphrodite kept lighting up the signs like it was Times Square at midnight, but I ignored it because... well, friend group politics. (Spoiler: it blew up. Drama. Blocked. Moved on.)

But she never left.

Now? I talk to her all the time. Daily convos. Random venting. Outfit checks. Love advice. I chat with Nyx weekly too very much “Mom, here’s what happened, please don’t judge.”

And yeah, some people will say “Don’t treat deities like humans.” But I say: why not? If I can treat Aphrodite like the sparkly big sister who teaches me how to flirt and avoid emotionally stunted men, and she loves it? Then I'm doing something right.

The bond? Real. Deep. Gorgeous.

The vibe? Divine chaos wrapped in pink silk and seafoam.

The lesson? Love yourself, listen to your gut, and never date a man who wears basketball shorts on a first date.

[tideswept]

THROWING TOMATOS AT YOU FOR THAT CHAPTER /positive

OK, OK, WAIT. WAIT. STOP. THOSE TOMATOES ARE GOOD FOR SAUCE! MAKE SAUCE, NOT WAR.

a-and in my defense, that chapter was going to be... really, really, REALLY different, originally. Like, completely new fic levels of different. Y'all woulda murdered me in cold blood if I'd done it...

(Some revelations are still relevant to the fic as a whole, so I'll put it under a cut to avoid spoilers.)

The original was going to be angsty, y'all. But, you know, still with a happy ending. Just. Kind of rough.

Obi-Wan and Anakin's scene was going to go into Anakin confessing that he's known they were mates since he hit puberty, and was therefore aware that he'd be an omega. But then Obi-Wan avoided him (them) and left, and he kept waiting, hoping, subconsciously pushing off his presentation until he couldn't suppress it anymore.

And still, Obi-Wan didn't give him the time of the day.

Obi-Wan is not pleased by this being dumped on him. He doesn't believe in mates, and he's definitely not freaking out that apparently Anakin has spent more than half a decade waiting for him, no sir. Absolutely not.

Which leads him to decide that the best option here is to leave. Anakin will figure out he was wrong, things will go on as they're supposed to. And he doth verily fuck off for years, doing Jedi Things anywhere but Coruscant.

Until the Force is like, "Hey. You might want to go back. Just a suggestion." in its usual cryptic way of 👏SOMETHING. 👏 IS. 👏HAPPENING 🚨🚨🚨

Which he ignores after checking with the Council that everything is good, everything's great. Anakin's even succeeded at his trials and will be knighted soon. Obi-Wan's plan to remove himself from the situation is working out great.

It's just so great. He doesn't feel miserable and cowardly at all. He's getting SO much sleep at night, you guys.

The Force: 😒 fuck it, I tried. You're on your own, Kenobi.

and what scares him the most is that suddenly everything stops. The bad dreams, the worry, the sense that something is wrong. Just a constant blaring in the back of his mind and then silence.

So he returns to Coruscant, to confirm that everything is a-ok. Only to run into Qui-Gon who is like "Oh. Well. This is... some awkward timing."

And it's awkward because, as he finds out, Anakin decided that being an omega is actually really shitty if he's just going to have a bull's eye painted on his back for the rest of his life (and hey, his mate rejected him, so like... fuck it). Having no secondary gender at all is much more practical as a Jedi Knight.

And it's not that Obi-Wan arrives in time to have mixed feelings about this and weigh whether he has the right to say anything to Anakin about this decision. Oh no; it's already done by the time he arrives back in Coruscant. Anakin's no longer an omega.

And now Obi-Wan has to deal with that.

(and THAT would have been the cliffhanger of ch4)

[looking-to-rattle-the-stars]

this one’s for me and my two karlach girlies but just god i’m glad my laptop can run this game at the medium graphics level but holy shit i wish i could play it with high graphics because the details on fucking karlach alone are so fucking incredible and my screenshots do not do her justice by any means ! but anyways yeah finally remembered to use the jump function today and recruited karlach n she seems very sweet i cannot wait to fuck shit up with her !! also astarion is here because i think he’s pretty in those two screenshots and i once again wish i could play the game in higher graphics so that his hair texture wasn’t as muddled 😔 anyways !! it feels like i’ve done nothing in my ten hours of playtime so far but i am excited to keep playing n progress the story :)

also do not let my tav’s armor fool you that man is a ranger i just wanted to increase his AC although tbh i should give that shit to gale until i get better stuff cause good lord that man’s 10 AC does not do him any favors for the shit i pull (i went to fight goblins and bro got knocked prone in grease and then instant died/failed his death saving throws after another goblin shot a flaming arrow at him) he is too squishy but i love him!! such a guy i did watch him press a magic item into his chest today though which was a little strange but hey what can you do ! i’ll let that man consume magic items so long as i think it’s useless

anyways time to eat saltines n a little bit of tomato soup at 12:30am n then play till 3am again for giggles hehe i love having nothing to do on weekends RAAAAAGHHH

(also in case it’s needed, no spoilers please!! i’ve avoided them so far and i plan to keep it that way at least in regards to major plot events ya know)

[jamradio]

Sorry to be a stranger asking you this out of the blue, but I saw your post about having food difficulties after gallbladder removal and I’ve been having a lot of digestive problems myself after getting mine out, so I was wondering if you’d be willing to share what your problems were like and if you were able to do anything to help with them. Feel free to ignore this message if you’d rather not, and have a good day!

Happy to answer this! I had my gallbladder removed in 2014, and despite what the doctors said, I have not been able to return to my normal diet. I eat very little red meat now, only very lean cuts and very little of them balanced out by lots of carbs. I substitute skim milk and lower fat butter substitutes when I cook. I avoid things like nuts and avocados that are high in fat and things like tomatoes that are high in acidity. If I want to eat something high in fat or acidity, I try to "offset" it by eating lots of carbs beforehand. Mainly though I just eat a lot of carbs like rice, noodles, and bread; and lean proteins like fish and chicken. It's very different from my pre-gallbladder removal diet, when my favorite meal was steak and macaroni and cheese.

I've also found that taking a probiotic and fiber supplements can help with my digestion. However, I don't take fiber supplements anymore because I found that it reduced the efficacy of my antidepressants.

CW: gross digestive-related stuff below here

If I don't do those things, then I either throw up what I ate, have bad diarrhea, bile buildup/reflux, or some combination of those three. It's not a fun time. I typically also get brain fog, and can be dizzy/disoriented and extra depressed when I eat something bad for me. I have also experienced pain where my gallbladder once lived, which I'm not sure if it's phantom pain or my body trying to get my lack of gallbladder to take in bile.

TL;Dr local coffee shops please serve skim milk. Almond milk and oat milk are not good substitutes, they're just as fatty as regular milk. This is why I go to Starbucks.