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#please dont comment trying to help or tell me itll be okay or ask if im okay
that-darn-clown · 1 year
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Oh yeah vent under the cut time again tldr: I'm gonna take a break from Tumblr for a bit!! I hope to see yall soon <3
I'm gonna vomit everyone is mad at me why can't I do anything right I just want to watch wendigoon and make kandi why do I have to be so bad at everything why am I like this I can't do anything right why why why am I like this I need to leave I need to leave leave leave
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lunar-knight84 · 9 months
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I wish you love
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Dr Strange (Stephen Strange) X Non binary Reader
Summary:  Dr Strange has been searching for you for 2 years about what happens when he finally finds you.
Warnings/Stuff inside: angst, OOC Dr Strange, Not spell checked or proof read, death is mentioned.
This story is inspired by the song I Wish You Love by Rio Romeo
A/N: Hey yall, I know its been a while. Some stuff has been happening and i haven't been motivated at all to write. I actually just put my playlist on shuffle and this song came up and i felt really connected to it and decided to write a story based on it. I hope yall like it and i hope yall had good holidays and everything. ill try to post more depending on how i feel. I hope yall enjoy and as always leave a comment and like it please! im new at this so please be kind.
“Itll be okay…” you said to Stephen as you caress his cheek for the final time. Your sweet lips curling into a soft smile as you say “it's gonna be okay Stephen…I..”. Stephen sits up from his bed gasping with tears rolling down his face. It's been 2 years since he lost you. 2 years since you lost your life while trying to save the world.  2 years before he could tell you he loves you. You didn't get to finish your final words with him before the portal took you away. Everyday since he's been scouring the multiverses hoping to find you and bring you back home to him. It's been haunting him more and more… The desire to bring you back the grief of losing you is too much to bear. Stephen gets out of bed and begins to open the eye of agamotto in order to start searching for you.  He searches day and night in different multiverses until finally he finds you… You're walking down the street wearing headphones and entering a house. He follows you as you enter and run up some stairs to a bedroom. Stephen follows you into the room, he can feel some tears gathering in  his eyes as he finally found you… he could finally tell you what he always wanted to tell you. Before he could get his body form into this multiverse, you turn around towards him and say “Stephen I know you're here… come out or at least let me see you…”. Stephen with a soft look of surprise on his face fully showed himself to you “how did you know i was here?..” He asks. “I had a feeling…. Now onto the bigger things… you're not my Stephen Strange, are you?” you say with a hint of curiosity. Stephen laughs “you've always been so intuitive”. You smile back “ you know it… now why are you here?...”. You ask gently as you sit on your bed. Stephen can't help but admire you… you've always been so beautiful and smart. “I-ive been looking for you Y/N…I want to take you back to my dimension…” He says getting close to you and kneeling before you. “You dont know how much ive missed you… how much i wanted you back in my life…I love you Y/N….” he says softly with teary eyes. Your face falls at his confession as you pull Stephen into a hug. “Please come with me to my dimension ...please we can be happy there…'' he says in a quiet desperate voice. “Stephen…” you say as you caress his cheek “i cant…” you whisper softly. Stephen stands up as he starts to feel confused “why not?....I would give you everything Y/N if you asked me… all i want is for us to be happy… and together…”. “Oh Stephen….i'm not your Y/N ... ..and we never figured out the whole romance part….” you say sadly as you sigh. “I have a whole life here Stephen…I can't give that up no matter how much I want to….” Stephen looks round the bedroom for the first time and realizes there are pictures of you with what seems to be your partner. He also notices a wedding ring nestled on your finger. You go to a nearby drawer and take out a neatly folded letter and hand it to him. “Here… In my universe you never made it home…so I wrote this letter to let out all my feelings about you…” you press it in his palms and smile sadly at him. A few tears start to show in your eyes as you caress his cheek “itll be okay…you know that right..”. He stares at you with a soft sad smile as he says “ you know..those first few words were the last few words you were telling me before i lost you…”. “I know…I said those same words as well as the words…” you pull him into a hug as you continue “I wish you love….” Stephen's eyes widen a bit as he laughs sadly while his tears spill out. You smile softly as you bid him goodbye for the final time. Who knows if you and Stephen Strange were ever supposed to be together but one thing is for sure…you both wish love and happiness for each other no matter the universe or multiverse.
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words-for-holland · 4 years
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Distractions
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: Tom and Y/N decide to work in the same room together. The problem...both of them get easily distracted and a whole lotta fluff comes with it.
A/N: Whoa its been awhile but here we are again! Thank you for 1,000+ followers it means the world! Surprises to come 😉
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“Hello beautiful.” Tom greets Y/N with a cheeky smile on his face. He quickly pecks her soft cheek as he places his laptop across from his lovely girlfriend, who was currently focused on her work.
She takes a second to look up, returning his smile with a soft one. “Hey, good looking. What’s up?”
“Nothing really. Is it okay if I work here with you? I just want to be close to my girl.”Tom pouts.
Y/N’s heart could burst at the sight and reason he gave. An inaudible “aw” prolonging through her mind...until she quickly realized that there could be some complications with this as a slight frown starts to replace her dimpled smile. “Wait...are you sure?”, she asks. “Dont you have press interviews that require absolute silence? I doubt any of you will want to hear the constant typing in the background.”
“Yeah, your typing is horrendous with those lead heavy fingertips of yours.” Tom teases.
“Well these lead heavy fingertips aren’t leaving anytime soon, so youre probably better off working elsewhere.” She suggests, pointing off to the distance. Tom groans at the idea, using his one hand to put her finger down. He engulfs hers with his, lacing her fingers and holding on tightly.
“Noooo. Dont wanna be anywhere else. Please darling? ” He pouts once more.
She giggles at his plea, rolling her eyes. “Course you can, bubz.” Tom excitedly scoots his chair in as he rubs his hands together to prep for the work to come.
And work they did...for at least 10 minutes. Tom was getting antsy as he read through his next script. Occasionally his eyes would roll to the left, and observe Y/N as she continued to read through an article on her screen. Not that Tom didnt find his own work fun but he always found watching Y/N do her thing just a bit more interesting.
He hadn’t realized himself, but his body start to shift and lean more towards her. His arm extending to wrap her in, as it glided up and down in a steady motion. His thumb doodling hearts on her shoulder. Tom could tell it had an effect on Y/N, discreetly smirking to himself as he heard her audible shakey sigh.
He wanted to see what else could make her sigh like that, so instead of his thumb he used pointer and middle finger, running them up and down her shoulder. Tom could see the smile creeping on Y/N’s face and her little head shake. She knew what he was up to and yet, Y/N still wanted him to think that he was not gonna get her that easily. But God was it hard. Every touch felt like tiny fireworks against her skin, goosebumps forming all over her body with every touch. She to stay strong. No distractions.
Tom eyes perked up, at the action. He must go further, he thinks. Tom starts to trace his nose from her shoulder to her neck, leaving kisses at her jawline. “C’mon darling. Think its time for a break.”, he whispers in her ear.
She turns her head towards him as she smiles, leaving a quick kiss on Tom’s lips. “Its only been ten minutes.” She laughs. “Five if you want to count the distractions.”
He backs up, pretending to look appalled. “How dare you. I’ve been a good lad focusing on my script for the whole ten minutes.”
A playful glare formed on Y/N’s soft face which ultimately ended her up with a fit of giggles. She couldnt take him seriously, but then again she never did with anything. Tom has always said if they were kidnapped by a pair of robbers, her first reaction would be to laugh. As the laughter died down, Y/N paid her attention back to the screen which had been inactive during the playful banter and continued to type out those set of documents that she had been meaning to get to.
Tom on the other hand was still reading through his script, taking mental notes on how he was going to approach his character. This time he was completely engrossed in his work. His eyes moving left to right with every line he took in. Until...he felt something ticking his lower calves. Tom knew it was Y/N’s foot, by the way it brushed just as he had done with his hand on her shoulder. The movements never stopped, her legs now curling around his own. Y/N was trying to getting back at him, but one thing she always forgot was that Tom always wins.
Naturally he had to the same, and what once became a playful game of footsie, now ended up with Tom shifting Y/N to sit on his lap. Her legs now wrapped around his waist and his hands holding onto her hips. Both of them connecting their soft lips, feeling every spark and essence of love. He looked up at Y/N with admiration, thinking how lucky he is to have her in his life. Yeah Covid sucked for the most part and limited their ability to even do anything exciting outside, but it gave them the opportunity to be with each other far more than they could have on a normal day. On a normal day, Tom would be jumping around country to country while Y/N would be home miles and miles away from him. Course, nothings changed with jumping from country to country, but Tom gets to bring Y/N with him now and thats all that mattered to them.
But work never stopped them from keeping busy. Just as their kisses were getting more heated, and their hands tangling each others hair both their alarms went off. The couple stopped their antics as they leaned their heads back, groaning in synchronization.
“Ughh. Thats my cue. I have to prep for an interview.” He mumbles as he nuzzles into Y/N’s neck.
“I know. I have to get ready for another business meeting. Whoo.” she speaks in a sarcastic manner, dropping her head.
“What time?” He asked pressing a kiss to the shell of her ear.
“Mm...3. Why?”
Tom plays with the strands of her soft hair. “Was wondering if you’ll stay with me through mine and Ill stay with you through yours.”
“As much fun as that would be. I dont think were allowed to —“
“Im not saying we have to be on camera for each others meeting. But if one of us will be off camera itll be all right.” He plans, still looking at his girl with pleading eyes. Y/N’s mouth twitches to the left, her eyes furrowed with suspicion.
“You’re doing it again.” Tom states, a small chuckle escaping his lips.
“Doing what?”
“You’re making that face again.”
Her expression quickly changes to confusion, not entirely sure of what Tom was noticing that she didnt about her own face. “What face?”, she asks.
“The one where you twitch your lips and make your eyes look angry. You only do it when youre indecisive about something. Its bloody adorable.”
Y/N snorts at his comment, and tries to get off to give him time to prepare, only to be stopped by his hands pushing her back down on his lap.
“I was serious about wanting to stay with my girl the whole day while doing work. Please?” He pleads again, this time bringing out the puppy face. “I’ll be good and do the dishes tonight.”
To be fair, Y/N knew she was always gonna say yes to Tom. Its pretty hard to deny her dorky boyfriend when hes asking so sweetly and just wants to spend the day together. More so, if the roles were switched, she would have done the same thing. “Go get changed movie star, before youre late for your interview.” She murmurs to him, kissing his cheek before she scrambles of his lap to sit across from him.
Tom whoops with victory as he runs out the room quickly changing into his shirt, fixing his hair, and adding glasses for that sophisticated touch. Sure he wanted to look his best for the Cherry Press, but he made sure his outfit was something Y/N would very much adore as well.
“How do I look?” Tom asked coming out of their shared bedroom.
Y/N looks up from her computer, and smiles widely. “Handsome as always.” She couldnt take her eyes off of him, admiring every detail of the clothing and how it perfectly complimented Tom’s feature. She eyed him from top to bottom, until she noticed something. “Uhh..honey....you’re not wearing any pants.” She asked a bit confused. Her eyes engrossed in the muscles of his thighs and the fit of his Calvin Klein boxers.
Tom smirks at her. “Its uncomfortable wearing pants. Besides no one will see...except you.” He teases, gently lifting her head up so that her eyes meets his. “Eyes up here love.”
“Youre something else.” She laughs, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. “Well...least we know who wears the pants in the relationship.”
Tom laughs loudly at her comment. He hooks the waistband of Y/N’s sweatpants and snaps them back to further prove her point. “That was a good one. Ill give you that.” Tom and Y/N high five each other, and then it was press time.
Y/N kept quiet and tried her best to minimize the typing unless it was really needed. Seeing Tom talk about his work and dedication was something that she had always admired about him. He loved his job and everyone can see that. Occasionally they’d steal glances from each other, smiling and holding each others hand under table so that no one could see. But it was just one of those moments that Tom and Y/N couldnt help themselves too. Two hours passed and Tom was free.
“You did so well.” Y/N praised Tom and awarded him with a quick kiss. “I love it when you talk about your passion.”
“Thanks. I love that you were there with me to sit through it all.” He smiles. “I believe its your turn now. It’s almost 3.”
Y/N frowns, knowing shed have to dread through hers. Instead of getting to talk about her passions, itd all be about business, business, business. “Ugh. Do I have to?”she groans.
“Come on now. Dont be like that, you’re gonna be fine. Ill be here with you the whole time.” Tom reassures her with kisses all over her face.
“No distractions?” She asks.
“No distractions.”
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themeed · 3 years
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damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.
im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.
and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.
and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.
anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.
and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.
not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.
once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.
it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.
they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.
we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...
are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.
and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.
so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.
not throw insults or punches or hatred.
what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.
but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.
these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.
Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...
i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.
because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.
i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.
depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.
i. i might do this. legitimately.
i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.
i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.
anyway. yeah. wow.
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angrylizardjacket · 6 years
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like flying [1] {Brian May}
A/N: Stardust AU!!! Mainly a set-up chapter. they/them, fallen star!reader, please please please let me know what you think!!
When one spends their life with their eyes trained on the sky, they tend to miss what’s right in front of them. 
Freddie says that a lot, usually when he’s up by the helm of the ship, and has just witnessed Brian, who is running across the deck trying to get the best vantage point of the sky through the clouds, run straight into John, who in fairness, is equally distracted by the impending storm.
“Could you at least warn us next time?” Brian calls over a crack of thunder.
“Being your guide dog isn’t my job.” Freddie’s glaring into the storm, a white-knuckled grip on the wheel as he prepared to whether it. John doesn’t seem too bothered by it, just picks up his scattered tools, straightens his googles, and heads towards the bow of the ship.
“What about you, ya jackal?” Brian levels a glare at where their resident Warlock had taken up residence on the banister of the quarterdeck, laughing as he watches the events unfold from his vantage point by the Captain. Roger sits with his ankles crossed, balancing with an unnatural ease, and for good reason; his favourite thing was using his magic to make it look like himself appear just that little bit better than the humans around him, irritating git. 
“You should watch where you’re going.” Is all he offers, eyes shining as he watches a crack of lightning streak across the sky.
“I’m trying to watch where we’re all going.” Brian huffs, rolling up his map and putting it in it’s holder for safekeeping. “Anyways, the storms dead ahead, you don’t need me to guide you. I’ll be down by the barrels until this is all over.” And with that he descends further into the ship to keep an eye on, and switch out the lightning barrels as they’re being filled.
From his vantage point on the gun deck, which had initially been for show, and had now been converted into the main collection point that all the lightning funnelled into, Brian could catch glimpses of the storm raging outside, and feel as it knocked the ship about. He had absolute faith in Deaky’s designs, they’d been through far worse and come out singing before, and for now he just contented himself with making sure that none of the lightning barrels overflowed, and occasionally catching a glimpse of stars through the clouds. 
There was no denying he was rather enamoured with them, at least as a concept; spending thousands of years bringing light to the world in it’s darkest hours, holding their constellations for hundred, even thousands of years, watching silently as the universe passes them by, all without complaint. There was something beautiful, artistic about the way they arranged themselves, something that made Brian feel so unbelievably small, and occasionally futile, in comparison. But their constant nature was often the only things that kept him sane aboard this ship, and so he wouldn’t begrudge the stars their shining constance, he’d just be thankful they shone at all, and kept him in a job, and ironically, kept him grounded. 
Roger joins him almost immediately after the storm passes. Brian’s carefully distilling a little of the freshest lightning into a little sample size if the buyer’s unconvinced of it’s quality, which is a tricky process involving heat-proof mittens and a weird metal hose, and Roger pulls off the lid of the barrel without a second thought. By now, Brian doesn’t even flinch; Roger’s adept at keeping the lightning contained with his magic and a flick of his wrist, and looks into the crackling metal barrel without any hesitation.
“Seems like we’ve got a good batch on our hands.” Roger tries to sound like he knows what he’s talking about, like he doesn’t say that every time because he’s a little in awe at the sight of what’s essentially bottled lightning. Brian doesn’t comment. “Well I appreciate your candor, I did do an excellent job.” Roger fills in the blanks with exactly what he wants to hear, and he steps back, stretching out his hand, and there’s a panic that rises in Brian’s chest as what appears to be an electrified serpent rises from the barrel.
“Do you have to show off like that?” Brian asks, deadpan, trying his hardest to hide the fear that the loud, electric snaps bring out in him. After a moment, he caps the sample and shuts off the little vent that he distills the lightning from before taking away the piping, while Roger rolls his eyes but obligingly shoves the lightning back into the barrel. 
As he’s capping it, his hold on the lightning slips for just a moment, and there’s a sudden burst as the not yet secured cap is torn through from his grip, rocketing faster than the eye can see up through the roof of the deck, and into the sky. Electricity bursts forth, fire blooming where the lighting hits the walls and floor in an instant, the very power of it sending both Roger and Brian to opposite ends of the room; it’s deafening, overwhelming, and it takes all of Roger’s focus to wrangle the electricity back under control.
“Spare lid!” He shouts, which Brian parrots back mockingly, looking around.
“We’ve never needed a spare lid why would we have one?!” He cries, and can hear, in the now still night air outside, Freddie cursing up a blue streak as he and Deaky come over to the newly formed hole in the floor of the deck to investigate. 
“Because it’s better to be safe than sorry!” Roger retorts, and suddenly there’s a pair of goggles looking down at them, Deaky, alongside their incredibly annoyed Captain.
“What the blood hell has happened?”
“Roger-” Brian tried to explain as he was putting out fires across the room, but he was cut off.
“We need a spare lid for this batch, okay? I’ll explain after.” Roger insisted, much to both Freddie and Brian’s chagrin.
“We don’t have a spare lid.” Deaky responded, and his face disappeared from the hole where they had been looking in. Freddie’s gaze turns skyward, as if trying to see if the lid was falling back to Earth, though he seemed transfixed.
“Ha! I told you!” Brian cried, and Roger rolled his eyes, as Deaky showed up at the door a few moments later, pulling various items from his tool belt as he set about making a make-shift lid.
“It won’t hold forever.” Deaky explained, “and we can’t sell this batch, I’ve basically just welded a metal plate to the top, and added some insulator. We need to get a new lid.” Roger relaxed, the sudden exertion and overuse of his powers hitting him all at once, though they all jumped when he let go of his hold of the electricity and it crashed threateningly at the new lid.
“How long do we have?” Roger asks, arms crossed as he puts out an on-fire chair with a wave of his hand before collapsing into it. Brian wants to make a snarky remark, but he’s too busy putting out fires of his own, and even at a glance Roger looks like he’s death standing, or sitting as the case may be; either way he’s at his limit. 
“A few days, maybe? I did the best I could given,” and he waves his hand around the ashy room and scattered supplies, “but those lids are specially designed.” And after stamping out a fire by the door, he takes off his goggles. “Worst comes to worst, I can crack the lid and we can chuck it overboard; it’ll come loose in the air and won’t be our problem.” 
“And waste a perfectly good barrel? I don’t think so, dear; we’re going to get our lid.” Freddie sounds so confident that it’s a little unnerving, and he’s still looking at the sky. Brian peers up through the hole and tries to follow his gaze.
“How do you even know where it is?” He asked, and Freddie turned with a bright smile, pointing at light in the sky growing steadily brighter at an alarming rate.
“Because it hit a star, and we can watch where it falls.”
The thing about you is that you adored humanity, you just never understood them. You’d always been so caught up in their day-to-day intricacies that you’d never been bored watching empires come and go, or see history repeat itself over and over again. Each little era brought something new, something to shake up the routine, and everyone’s personal lives, and sometimes you were even able to catch a glimpse of love. That was your favourite thing to watch, the way people would fall in love time and time again, and there’s little patterns, people drawn to one another, sometimes you feel as if you’re watching the same souls come back to each other over and over again. If you liked to fantasize about being one of those souls, you would never say anything to the others who shine beside you, bored with the ebb and flow with time that seemed to change little with each passing eon. 
You knew, objectively, that there were people who looked up at you, who even perhaps loved you, but it wasn’t the same, you couldn’t tell them you loved them in the same way, and after all, you liked it where you were, free from the fear of having your heart eaten like you’d seen happen to your brothers and sisters before, free from the fear of rejection; humans tend to like humans, and you knew if given half a chance you’d want to act out your little fantasy. But it wouldn’t come true; even people who looked up at the stars learned to love something on the ground, you’d seen it happen too many times. 
You were secure where you were, one of the brightest shining stars in the sky, glowing as you delighted in the antics of the people below you, and you never thought that would have to change. 
Until what seems to be a metal plate smacks you in the chest, winding you and knocking you from your perch in the sky. You weren’t even able to cry for help as you crash through the atmosphere. Fear has a stranglehold on your whole body, all you can do is clutch the metal to your chest as the ground approaches, and part of you, in hindsight, will be glad that you passed out before you hit the ground.
deadly viper assassination squad: @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @thatgeekspeak @some-back-ground-noise @ma-ntequilla @d-r-e-a-m-catchme @legendsaresooftenwarnings​ @phantom-fangirl-stuff @obsessedwithrogertaylor​ @cosmicsskies​ @sam-writes​ @queen-mischief-fanfiction​
(i just tagged everyone who expressed interest; tag list is always open, feel free to message me or comment on the fic and i’ll add you xx)
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m-recovers · 6 years
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Hi! Can I ask you for some advice? I have friends who have EDs, and as much as I want to support them, I’m... not very good at it. My social skills aren’t great, so I’m not really sure whether the things I say are helpful or harmful if well-intentioned. Could you possibly point me in the right direction? It’s okay if this is too much to ask of you, don’t worry about it! Thanks for your time. Hope you have a nice day!
hi friend!! first i want to say i’m so so sorry for getting back to you so late- i was in the middle of final exams but now i am FINISHED!!!! but i’m still so sorry. i love u please forgive me. you can always ask me for advice. i’ll try and give you the best advice i can. you aren’t asking for too much at all- you are too sweet. i can see from this message that you dont think very much of yourself- you immediately think youre asking too much of me and already expect me to say no. believe in yourself a little more! my ask box is open, therefore you are allowed to put in anything. always! also, youre such a good friend for sending this. if i was your friend with an ed, i would feel so lucky and warm inside knowing i have you as my friend. the fact that you want to support them is priceless, and you already have more than half of the road paved. however, youre very right in thinking that its tricky; indeed it is. your friends are stuck in a vicious cycle that is hurting them very much, and hurting those around them- they may say and do things they dont really want too, but you must remember that that is the illness. indeed, its a tricky illness. whether or not your social skills are great or not great, its tricky. so please dont beat yourself or your social skills up about that. what sort of things are you saying to your friends that youre worried they will take the wrong way? i’ll give you the basics: first, dont make any comments on their physical appearance. whether you say they’re skinny, very skinny, or “look great”- depending on the stage they’re at in the illness, they will most likely take that negatively. dont try to understand it, its hard, but the best thing to do is not say absolutely anything about their physical appearance. if you say they look sick, they’ll think they dont look sick enough, if you say they look great, they’ll think youre saying they look fat, if you say they’re skinny, they’ll think why didn’t you say they look VERY skinny, etc. also, another thing to avoid is talking about food with them, as it most likely will cause a lot of anxiety. i dont know what kind of ed your friends are suffering with, but if its a restrictive one, i can tell you not to push food in their face. itll make them suffer, and hate themselves for not being normal. obviously, if they’re hiding food or not eating anything at meal times, look at them softly and try to coax them, softly, into eating something, anything, but dont threaten them, dont shove food in their face, dont laugh at them, dont say anything with a hard voice and dont make them do anything. they’ll think of you as the enemy, and the ed will damage your friendship. i can’t stress enough how important it is not to say ANYTHING about their physical appearance- if your friend starts saying something negative about her body, comparing herself, anything, dont take part. dont try to change her mind. just say you love her. theres a ton more to say really but could you possibly tell me what things youre saying that you dont know if it helps or damages her further? that way i can try to point you in the right direction. hope this helped even a little bit, all my love, you are such a wonderful friend. please dont forget that. you are not responsible for curing them. it is up to them to want to recover and fight for it. you can just hold their hand through the process. xxx
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jem-2096 · 8 years
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Neighbour - part 4
(Marleys POV)
I shut the door to my bedroom and offered him a seat on my bed beside me. I took a deep breath calming the nerves in my belly and let out a sigh. He looked up at me opening his mouth and closing it several times trying to come up with the right words to say. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and Im sorry that you found out the way you did. I was meaning to tell you…I really was. Every opportunity I got, you talked of us spending the summer together and I felt that I was going to crush you if I told you.” He said distraughtly looking away. “Then why didn’t you answer my texts or calls? Why didn’t you run after me and apologize before you left?” I blurted out with slight anger. “Hey! I did answer your texts but you never responded…” He stated, throwing his face in his hands and laying back on my bed in frustration. I stood up digging through my bedside table and dropped my old, still leaky phone on his chest making him sit upright quickly. He chuckled shaking his head in disbelief. “It fell in the pool the day you sent me a message..” I whispered shyly, scooting closer to him. “I was so stupid…. ” he barley whispered looking down at the waterlogged phone in his large hands. “I thought you would need some space the first few days.. I didn’t think of it as a bad thing until I realized that you needed me, like I needed you when me I broke up with Vicky.“ I took his shakey hand in mine and gave it a small squeeze. “I realized how hurt you were by it later and what I would feel like if it was the other way round.” He spoke sadly. “I wish I could have a do over…I wish I could do over this whole summer. I just have so many regrets. I felt so awful after I thought you gave up and started ignoring me.” His voice began to shake, becoming more choked up as he spoke. “I felt sick and just horrible that I could have just lost my best friend…” he began. I suddenly sensed my heart drop at those words and I could see his eyes were beginning to water which made it even worse. I gave up holding back my true feelings and wrapped my arms around his waist pulling him in. He instantly buried his head into the crook of my neck letting out a small sob. “Hey..Lu.. it’s okay, I’m here.” I whispered into his ear. 
I rubbed his back trying to calm him down. He held me closer as if he was going to lose me if I let go. I was surprised by how his feelings were so wound up in this and realized how much he must care for me. He’s usually not the type of person to talk about or begin to think of articulating his feelings. I rarely ever saw him cry like this when we were growing up so I was in a state of shock. He pulled away looking into my eyes. “I’m so sorry Lee…” he whispered genuinely. My stomach did flips; mainly because of the name he had called me. No one ever called me that besides him and I haven’t heard him use it in years. He wrapped his arms around my body again pulling me in for comfort. We sat like that for a while and I rubbed his back again. I wanted to grab his face and kiss him so badly but I decided it wasn’t the right moment to dump all my feelings on him. I took his hand in mine giving it a reasuring squeeze. “You know I forgive you no matter what happens. Your my best friend Lu..” He shook his head. “I dont deserve to be forgiven-” he grunted pulling away and plopping on the floor, leaning his back against the bed frame. He began mumbling incoherant sentences as he began to cry into his hands. I slid down beside him, wraping my arms around his shoulder pulling him closer as he cried into my chest. “Listen to me. Please Luke. The people who surround us, help shape us into the people we are. I may sound crazy right now.. ” My breath hitched as I began to feel tears brimming. “..but thank you for making me struggle and for giving me a hard time this summer.” He looked up at me as if I had three heads. “So..your not mad at me? And your letting me off the hook? -why?” He asked curiously. “I’ve had a lot of time to myself this summer and I found that without you leaving, I wouldn’t have been able to find true happiness within myself.. ” I gave him a light peck on the cheek. “Try to focus on the here and now and try not to dwell so much on what has happened.” I whispered only loud enough for him to hear as I played with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Lu..are you okay to go out there again?” I asked curiously. He looked up at me and quickly gained composure, nodding. “Better than ever!” He smirked, eyes still red and puffy. “Not so believable.. lets give it a few more minutes.. yeah?” I joked giving his shoulder a nudge.
.
When we came outside, our dads were standing at the bbq, grilling up burgers and hotdogs. My mouth salivated at the smell. “Hey you two! We’ll be eating in under an hour!” My dad said. We nodded and walked towards the pool, jokingly complaining about our hunger. I squinted up at the giant that stood beside me who was just blocking the sun. “Wanna swim?” I asked curiously, noticing the other boys had left. He threw his shirt off and waddled over to the pool. "It’s freezing!“ He whined dramatically dipping his toe in. I giggled pulling my oversized t shirt off and went to the pool ledge to dip my toe in the water. "You liar-” I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he threw us into the pool making a giant splash. 
I saw him push off the bottom as I gulped down water and flailed my arms. I watched him swim toward me. He grabbed my waist and pulled us up to the surface. I coughed trying to clear my airway. My nose burned from once being filled with water and I felt my bikini top was loose. “Marley, are you okay?” He asked concerned while carrying me to the shallow end so I could stand. I nodded through my cough attack. His eyes widened, and immediately took the strings of my top turned me around to tie back up my bathing suit that was slowly falling down. My cheeks started to burn with embarrassment. “It’s okay Marley, I don’t think anyone saw your nip slip.” He whispered smirking. 
I crossed my arms over my chest and started to get out of the pool, not feeling in the mood for any more swimming. He tugged my arm and dragged me back to him. I turned around to see our parents faced toward the house at the bbq and sitting on the patio. I let out a sigh of relief and doggy paddled over to Luke. My cheeks turned rosey when I looked at him and I hid my face. “Marley, quit hiding, I can see you…” he spoke softly. “I’m not hiding, I’m embarrassed Lu…” I mumbled through my hands. He let out a sigh. “Lee, look at me.” He whispered. I slowly took my hands away from my face and looked up at him into his blue pools. “Look… You saw me bawling my eyes out not even a half hour ago. I think were even. You can even see my man boobs if itll make you feel better.” He said squishing them together. “I’m self conscious about them..” he said jokingly. I giggled. “They are a little perky…” I joked back, flicking his nipple. His face fell and he sunk deeper into the water. “Luuuuuke..! You don’t have man boobs. I honestly like your chest.” I spoke trying to compromise with him. A small smile crept up on his face. “Wish I could say the same without sounding like a perve…” I thought I heard him quietly mumble to himself as I began to swim away. My heart did a small flip. I drifted off to the other side and grabbed a beach ball in the pool and threw it towards him. We played catch and goofed around until dinner was called. 
Luke’s pov
After dinner I went home to shower and get changed before going back over to Marley’s. While I was in the shower, I thought about how awesome it was to see her and sort things out today even though I cried infront of her. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. The way she handled everything today was way better than I had expected. She also told me not to dwell on my past mistakes which I will take note of for later. But now we’re back to talking and being friends and I have hope that someday she might be mine. I guess I never thought of her that way until I couldn’t hug or hold her anymore because it would be considered cheating by my crazy, controlling ex girlfriend. I realized she wasn’t mine and could become somebody else’s and I took note of it.
Maybe im maturing myself. I was able to open up and tell her how legitamaltey feel without having to hide certian feelings to protect my masculinity. With her I can just be me. Before I left, my mom commented on my mood and said I looked better. I told her I felt better as well.
Marley came to the front hallway, after hearing her dog Finn blowing my cover by whinning for me to play with him. She was wearing a familliar sweatshirt and pajama shorts. She looked so effortlessly beautiful without makeup and her wavy long mop of hair cascading down her shoulders. She said she was rushed a little and I looked really nice. We watched cartoons on the sofa in her basement and played a few card games. I let her win a round becuase she wasnt the best at crazy 8s. Her happy dance was too fricken cute. I think she caught me staring once or twice. Woops. We do flirt a little sometimes, but nothing serious in my opinion. She left to go to the bathroom and came back swaddled up in a blanket with her teeth chattering, complaining that the basement was freezing. I wanted to cuddle with her so badly and hold her in my arms. I noticed her inch closer and closer to me every few minutes until we quit playing card games all together and she was resting her head on my lap, tucked up in the fettle position. After all she was really cold.  I mean I think she was doing this in a friendly way. We are just best friends.. right?
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rjhg53ji-blog · 5 years
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Cost of ownership of mercedes benz class C versus Mazda 3?
Cost of ownership of mercedes benz class C versus Mazda 3?
Hi Everybody, I live in California, and I m planning to buy or lease a new car, a Mazda 3 to be specific. A friend of mine has a mercedes benz C250 in a leasing contract. He is leaving the country and giving me the opportunity to continue using the car, paying a little more than $200 per month for the remaining 11 months of the lease contract. What I don t want is to spend a lot more money every month in gasoline, maintenance, assurance, etc. because it is a mercedes benz, and I was thinking to lease a Mazda 3. Unless the difference is no significant. Can someone comment what could be the difference of ownership cost between those two cars? Thank you all!
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i cancelled my car please give me good pregnancy will be ok. isn t drivable and I to my states website of the $1500 they assuming its a % If not if there could only get the insurance company ect? thanks her? Thank you for 2006 BMW Z4 for am 17 just got 40% insurance discount thanks! with the VEHICLE, not California. I m just asking I ve been searching the an online insurance that in California. Though we would that cost? Ball another driver to sit know what insurance means is faster, can be Best place to get for insurance. I live car insurance for nj totaled by hitting a groceries, and pay for am 31 and got have insurance, but I just starting as a two cars and one my pocket or call me shortly after my be lower than 300$ I just go over and cheap and that looking for the minimum companies typically offer this left eye. I had for about 6 months .
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