#im gonna take a break okay
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Oh yeah vent under the cut time again tldr: I'm gonna take a break from Tumblr for a bit!! I hope to see yall soon <3
I'm gonna vomit everyone is mad at me why can't I do anything right I just want to watch wendigoon and make kandi why do I have to be so bad at everything why am I like this I can't do anything right why why why am I like this I need to leave I need to leave leave leave
#vent#vent tw#tw vent#please dont comment trying to help or tell me itll be okay or ask if im okay#i just need time off of social media for a while#im gonna take a break okay#i need to focus on real life stuff because its only getting worse right now#the clown! it speaks!#sorry for stupid long post#im okay i promise im just very mad at myself
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I need people to realize how horrible 'stalking/constant surveillance/breaking into each other's homes is how the Batfamily show love' is. Like i really need someone to just acknowledge how horrific saying this bullshit is.
Like even fics where they're shown as happy and healthy and with good ties, you've always got this thing where none of them have privacy or any boundaries with each other. Which is directly antithetical to actually having good relationships. And this invasion via hacking and stalking and breaking into homes is portrayed as a positive, good thing; it's just how they show love and care to each other, after all. But for some reason I just personally don't find stalking, lack of privacy or boundaries, and emotional manipulation funny, endearing, or healthy, and just end up disgusted at the attempt to sweep it all under the rug.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#batfamily#jason todd#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#listen i can only take so much of it before i just breakdown okay#apparently controversial opinion but a family where its normal to vreak into each others homes and manipulate each other and stalk and#invade boundaries and autonomy and privacy can NOT be healthy#no matter how much you try to dress it up all cute w 'this is just how they are' 'its how they show their love' its never not gonna be#unhealthy and bad and toxic#like yeah they do do that. they are like that. either acknowledge it or stop trying to justify it#god this actually irks me so much#i try to idk. suspend my disblief but theres only so much i can actuallt fucking take before just#its just. im trying to read happy fluffy fics. but i cant be comforted by a family that normalizes breaking boundaries n invading privacy#and its specifically that the author aleays disregards it. instead of fixing it or making it better they opt to keep it and come up w excuse#s for it#and thats what actually triggers me#'i broke into ur house cus if i asked if i could come over ud say no' is actuallt fucking horrifying stop trying to make it seem loving???#im writing this while having a panic attack dont mind me 👍#but its like. if you can write the batfam w/o bruce hitting his kids or any other horrific thing that they do#then why must you keep the boundary&privacy breaking? why cant anyone even seemingly try to write a batfam#where theyve worked their issues abt this out best they can n have healthy established boundaries w each other??#like if u can write them all hanging out together 24/7 n bruce being s good dad why is this one simple thing the One Thing#nobody even tries to address properly???#'aw dick broke into jason's saehouse bc he wanted to hangout but jason would say no if he asked' aw. maybe dick should learn 'no means no'
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Hey do you remember all those videos of Fernando smelling flowers? Haha yeah....
#posting this both while im asleep and after whatever bee event ends up happening#so who knows what will happen! will we get nothing? will we get eye contact? will we possibly get an interaction? its a surprise!!#anyways this is basically me hearing about seb's bee event and he said the drivers will be there#me deep in my vettonso brainrot: OH MY GOD THEY'RE GONNA BE IN THE SAME VICINITY#will be so funny for me if when i wake up i find out fernando didnt even go 😭#but we remain hopeful 🙏#also this is just very funny to me bcs like both seb and fernando have very specifc quirks#and what are two of their specific quirks? seb and his bee thing. fernando and his flower thing from this season#so this fanart is perfect y'know 🥰🥰🥰#also screeching over how this is the first canon au drawing ive ever drawn. ive literally never drawn non-au until now 💀💀💀#okay and now some horrible jokes thay happened during the process of this:#thesis of this drawing: whats Fernando gonna do? Pollinate him? 😏#C. why did you have to make me think of bees that produce sex pollen 😭😭 this is gonna haunt me forever. but also vettonso post-japan fic-#and then also the barry benson thing. im like what do humanized bees look like and then realized 'oh no....oh no.'#fernando to seb at the bee event: 'ya like samurais...?' SORRY 😭#also having to pick the colors from one of my historical au drawings was haunting. just the sheer difference btwn them yknow......#anyways please take my old men yaoi. took a break from historical yaoi to draw this 😭😭😭😭#this is my peak vettonso fanart cannot improve from here. also a fever dream#vettonso#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#*not gonna edit the tags bcs i like the time capsule of it all but like. yeah. we were fed.#*catie from 2 hours prior(atm its 3 am) would be so pleased right now i think
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I’ve been reading a very very very dark Skybound Fic all night and I feel slightly ill but I’m so so obsessed with literally every “how Jay’s lightning works” headcanon
#IM FINE LMAO I OVERESTIMATED HOW DARK THIS WOULD GET BUT IM ALL GOOD#I’m waiting until tomorrow to finish it cuz like Dear first master#it’s#6 in the morning#but I stay silly :3#my mom’s gonna be like are you okay when I’m a zombie tomorrow and imma be like#NO#CUZ JAY IS STILL ON THAT FUUUCKING SHIP#LIKE GOD HOW MUCH MORE CAN HE TAKE#WE’RE SIX CHAPTERS IN AND THERES STILL SIX TO GO WHAT ELSE CAN THEY DO TO THIS MAN#in case you’re wondering it’s bending but never breaking#DO NOT#READ IT#IF YOU ARE A MINOR#AND HEED THE TAGS BECAUSE THEYRE ALL ACCURATE#but holy fuck it’s FASCINATING#ALSO KUDOS TO THE AUTHOR FOR JAY CONTINUING TO BE SNARKY THROUGH ALL THAT HOLY SHIT????#ESEPCAILYL CHAPTER 6 LIKE LITERALLY ITS SO LONG AND SO FUCKED UP#BUT LIKE THE IDEA THAT JAY CAN KNIT HIS WOUNDS BACK TOGETHER WITH LIGHTNING AND SHIT THATS SO COOL ALSO THE BODY HORROR FROM NADAKHAN IS SO#SICK NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE ACTUALLY MAKE HIM MONSTROUS (physically he’s obviously a monster) BUT LIKE#MAN#I JUST CANT GET OVER JAYS LIGHTNING THO#I’m gonna find the post where#cuz I found the fic from a post#cuz the post talked about it#the lightning stuff so imma reblog that probably#that was a long winded ramble uhhhhh#anyways I literally reached my tag limit so rip i rambled here huh#spinjitsu screams#I’m not tagging ninjago over my unhinged rambling in the tags at the crack ass of dawn I’ll be normal tomorrow maybe
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I support Nons wrongs
#dff#dead friend forever#non#dff ep 8 spoiler#dff ep 8#dff spoilers#kinda disappointed he didn't do more damage#hes getting revenge in the future its okay its fine#barcode stop breaking my heart every episode#if dff ends with anything but non finally happy and safe i'll riot#im so excited to see phee and tan infiltrate the friend group#also we saw perth this ep :)#def think hes prob gonna play some part in taking down the mafia#and now im leaning towards white could be nons brother and playing up the scared act#honestly no clue who tan would be if hes not nons brother tho#i think its tan at the end of the episode#im sure someones gonna clip it and slow it down to get a better look but im too lazy to do that rn
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why can i literally not function at school like i swear i'm trying i just can't focus????
#luc posts#like i take notes but then i get bored and the doodle on the side of my page thst was meant to take 5 seconds took 10 minutes :(#and then im lost and bc im lost i get all fidgety and i keep doodling and then jts just a cycle#if i work for 20 minutes i feel like ive ran a marathon and i have to take a 40 minutes drawing/staring into the distance break#and im gonna fail maths but theres literally nothing i can do no matter what i do I can't focus for over 20 minutes at a time#and then its the end of class and i feel guilty bc oh i didnt do any work :( like i feel bad and i want to fix it but idk whats wrong so ho#can i fix it if i dont know whats wrong with meeeee#ugh#it literally makes me want to cry am i just lazy is that what it is am i literally useless why cant i work#like i was so ahead kf the average grades and i never learnt to study and now ugh i dont know how to function so i just dont#and it doesn't help that my friends are all geniuses#like they complain about their one mark away from full marks and im just like OH MY GOD if i could just focus then i coukd do so well#likr ok i guess i wont mention tjst i failed that test bc yall sre complaining about getting one mark off fukl makrs#likr fuckkkk okay i have so mucb potential why di i waste jt :(((((#i hate school so mucb#i genuinely consider dropping out sometimes like I CANT DO THIS hiw do these peiole di ut how hiw how someone tell me how to function#like these peiole getting top marks withiut eben truijgn and i tyr and i cant fishcis so i fail snd then ufh i want to die#bc its so embarassing i eas like top 10% of the class a few years ago and now i just cant function like how do these peiple do itso#someone explain ot me how oieolem focus and dony get distracted and ginish things kike ugh
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they're coming , your honor .
#to be deleted.#okay im taking a break from carrd stuff to do some inbox things i think !#do not follow those urls rn i s2g y'all. they're all on sideblogs still rn & not set up#LKGJSDGJKL#paimons gonna be heavily inspired by ars goetia lore and have actually followed & fell with lucifer / the sins#cue evil laughter .#* ── out of character. : r.
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i fucking forgortttttttt
#im bad at posting i have to yell at myself to post#plus things irl have kinda been? terrible?#ngl im ready to tap out from a lot of fandom stuff but this is me. telling myself. taking a break is okay.#even if that break is for ten million years#i DO love it here its just gonna take me a minute to feel inspired by mbav stuff again
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Fanbase: we love Astarion soooo much! It was automatic as soon as we saw him!
Me, hanging out with Minthara too much: who’s we.
#[ 🕷️ ] —— [ crack ] —— it was a beautiful webbing.#[ for legal reasons this is a joke it’s the second nature bullying that raises its head ]#[ okay my dress!!! is finished !!! im gonna take a writing break now and do my drafts ]
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Hey I forgot not everyone follows my spam blog but uh I'm on a little break from tumblr again that's why I haven't been around much
#im gonna be taking a complete full break from the internet innnn abiut a month too so yeah#like literally no mkre activity from me for a WHILE so#but thats not now so its okay <3/silly#polkka posts
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hi toniiswrld nation i am having the worst fucking day but how are you guys 😇‼️
im gonna rant in the tags so feel free to ignore😁
#ok so basically my manager asked me to come in two hours early and i said yes bc a check is a check 💁🏽 so she leaves for a few hours#she said she would be back at 2:30 and i could go on my break then but she doesn’t get back till 3:15 which is alright ig#so i still have some things to finish up and its like 3:55 and im like okay im gonna take my break now#so im about to leave for my break and shes like hey just be mindful that 4-6 are peak hours so dont take your break around this time#and im like ???? because… i wouldn’t be taking my break this late if it wasn’t for you coming in late. i would’ve been back by 4-#-if you were back on time. and i usually take my break around 2 so what are you mad ab??#also she was complaining that i was cleaning quote unquote TOO much.. HOW DO YOU CLEAN TOO MUCH???#like dont ask me to do something… if you don’t want it done properly because now ur gonna complain that its still dirty 😐#anyways 😁 i only have three more hours left till im off
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Don't know who needs to hear this, but being scared of healing is normal. It's okay. Sometimes you don't know how to exist without being messed up. You and your pain are not invalid for taking time to heal and even not wanting to.
#that's it that's the post#its a vicious cycle and scary and hard to break#im not gonna tell you to go and get it together because sometimes. sometimes you have to be sad. sometimes you have to hurt.#mental health#negativity#<3#take your time#take your meds and pet a dog and look at a rainbow#sometimes to heal you have to not know you're healing#but please at least live. its a life worth living in at least some way.#be happy even if youre messed up while doing it#its okay#hugs
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Boy King Seb :D
#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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#just wanted to post that ask abt pauls mom so not more ppl send it in thinking no one else did <33 hehe#but just wanted to say that im gonna be taking a little break from here#just a few days maybe a week or a lil more#going through some really exhausting things irl and everything is just making me overly sensitive rn#so im just trying to not go crazy heh and tumblr always has a way of making me spiral even more#though it's kinda hard bcs reading everyone's messages and asks always gives me so much energy#so i might come in just to read asks and then disappear again ahah#so thankful for you all <333 i'll be back soon !!!#going to be thinking a lot about pepe to not go crazy#especially 🎀 anons latest ask#nearly made me cry istg#okay im really going now#bye for now!#(deleting this when i come back)(or earlier idk)
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i have not listened to hamilton in like a week why is he STILL HERE
read the tags if you want to see me talk about musicals for a little TOO long
#this is no hate to you mr leslie odom jr#but i have most certainly listened to other musicians/bands more#anyways i'd say the rest is accurate#my bff and i have been doing a musical binge#started with wicked -> ride the cyclone -> shrek -> legally blonde -> falsettos#i cried twice at falsettos btw it's so fucked up (i loved it sm)#i've listened to wicked before but haven't actually *seen* it so that was nice#i've also heard a couple songs from ride the cyclone & falsettos b4 so i already knew they'd be good#and i've seen shrek the musical like 3 times bc i unironically love it#overall opinions: ride the cyclone might have my favorite cast of characters and i think falsettos might be my favorite musical now#fav songs (for funsies):#ride the cyclone: noel's lament / the ballad of jane doe / jawbreaker / space age bachelor man (insane song btw)#wicked: no good deed / popular#shrek: i know it's today / don't let me go / i think i got you beat / this is our story / what's up duloc?#falsettos: this had better come to a stop / i'm breaking down / four jews in a room bitching / a tight-knit family/love is blind#falsettos cont.: everyone hates his parents / falsettoland/about time#legally blonde: blood in the water / positive / ireland / chip on my shoulder / so much better / whipped into shape / take it like a man#legally blonde cont.: bend and snap / there! right there! / legally blonde / legally blonde - remix / find my way/finale#SORRY I OPENED A PANDORA'S BOX WHEN I STARTED TALKING ABOUT MUSICALS#i really should've posted this on my other acc oh well#okay i'm gonna shut up now im so sorry LMAO#falsettos#legally blonde musical#legally blonde the musical#shrek the musical#shrek musical#wicked#wicked musical#ride the cyclone
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hiiiii i have returned from the depths of the underworld (self imposed hiatus) (3 week break that felt like 3 years)
#posting this then going 2 bed so i actually have incentive to start posting again i’ve been meaning to for like. two days now LOL#i’ve just been genuinely stressed LMAO but i started reading a new book n getting into new media so things mightttt be okay.#u know its been a wild time if smth convinced me to take a break from tumblr for like a month#n it was lmao. first it was the fatigue then it was the health issues which the fatigue stemmed from#then it was doing work n then it was literally nobody cares am i alive yes am i doing well sure(?)#am i gonna be active WE'LL SEE#genuinely missed my mutuals which is why i was bad at this i still checked in from time 2 time just did not post#im like 5 days off of this being an actual month long break but i was like waittt lemme post smth before#the month ends i dont wanna skip february so yeah#tldr most chronically online person ever thinks that like 3 weeks away from her blog is like 3 years. iam right#my text#🍅🍅🍅 this was a long rant boooooo get off the stage#i probs sound like a hectic mess bc i am anyway goodnight happy bhm happy valentines happy february hope it has been kind
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