#please forgive me for this long ass rant it probably makes no sense but i hope it lays out some of my thoughts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crazyworldofemmamarie · 1 year

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do you like any other older horror movies? That's a very dumb question but I'm unashamed about such things. I've rewatched some of the movies that really scared me when I was younger, and if anything they're even more scary now. I only watched 3 or 4 of the Saw films, but your blog is making me feel like looking again.

I love the entire genre, please yell at me if I mess up a reblog, or if my extensive experience in the field can help with your endeavors. I'm a John Carpenter fan from Way back; sometimes I don't know who directed what has become my favorite movie of the week and it turns out to be his...some of em aren't horror, like Starman, but it's heavy sci fi, and 80's Jeff Bridges is such a great actor...rambling with the lunatics. I like your blog! Don't fall for any of those HP Lovecraft movies; there's no sex in the books or stories so that Reanimator fool can go...sex was the selling point in the 80's though, guess it couldn't be avoided. I've read a ton; it's gotta be good for something. The way folks are saying manifest; that's made it back around after 24, 25 years. I'm tryna track something, for the good of everyone, but I'm no psychic medium, not even a small. If you think I made even a little bit of sense, I thank you for your time.

Okay! what's One movie you Won't watch, or Can't? I couldn't watch more than probably 10 minutes of High Tension, probably because I have kids, but I think that's the only one that keeps me from looking at it. Tobyn Bell should get a fun, dancing man role huh? He's pleasant to see if you ask me;) my kid's a huge Leatherface fan but they remember his name and everything. I "got" to see all the Faces of Death tapes as a teenager, we're fine, we're fine(just smile and nod)...I'm not sure how much longer I have on this earth, so I'm making it weird, and keeping it positive and spooky is challenging! But this Halloween will be my first single Halloween since lots of years ago and I am not going to let it slip past another year. My parent's were wed on Halloween, they forgot the 31st was already special, and I've always liked that memory of them making out on the couch between the trick or treat visits...anyway, have a great day, forgive me for going off on Every tangent, still looking for my pack y'know? Idk if covens advertise openings and I'm still learning to behave lmao...if intent is truly key, I am so good. My intentions are good. I'm never surprised that we get to know the "bad guys", monsters in the movies and stories that I personally can't really hate, or judge, but those are the fictional ones. Unfortunately the bad guys out here are really bad, and boringly bad. Yell at me any time, but y'know I won't hear it, lmao

Holy Moly, I am so sorry, my dumb ass basically took forever to figure out how to reply but hey I got it now, haha!

And no, don't worry about rambling I totally enjoy your stories and thoughts and I find it amazingly sweet that you even took the time to write to me, really and I am always open to chat! (And in all honesty, I am still learning to behave as it, but there's nothing wrong with having a little fun, wink wink.)

I do wanna ay I think it's super cool you're parents got married on Halloween, that's totally badass! Halloween is my favourite holiday, my Mom was super big on it because she never got to celebrate it when she was young cause she grew up super religious and it was to make up for lost time.

If I ever got married and I could convince my partner on a date, I probably pick October 1st, but in all honesty, as long as I can get married in Autumn I am totally happy. Though that's a rant for another time, haha.

Now to answer both of your questions:

I really like a lot of horror and I usually go from 1920s German Expressionism horror to present day. Though I am not gonna lie to you, I get really stuck with that late 60s/70s horror, especially that Art house horror like The Last House on the Left or I Spit On Your Grave cause I really enjoy realistic, could really happen horror, plus as a film manic, the 60s/70s had a lot of freedom with things like art and film and I just feel we get more out of that and I'm just like you where it's dirty, raw and full of sex, haha.

Though the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 1974 is my all time favourite horror film of all time, but I do really enjoy Last House, Spit on Your Grave, Black Christmas, The Wicker Man and all that.

80s is a hit miss for me, I'm really not a big fan of those popular slashers like Elm Street, or Child's Play or Friday the 13th, but love those somewhat terrible b movies like Sleepaway Camp or Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2.

B Movies are another big thing for me, anything from Puppet Master to Basket Case to Evil Dead.

Now to you second question, the one film I can't watch and it's one of the very few films I've seen once and it's Cannibal Holocaust. I don't know what it was, I love cannibalistic films like The Hills Have Eyes or Cannibal! The Musical; but for some reason, this film didn't sit right with me, I can't tell you if it was cause it was too realistic, too bloody or the fact that they killed real animals on camera or that in reality you don't really know who the villain's really are (that's another rant for another time, I gotta whole essay on that, yeah, I'm a loser haha). In all honesty, I think it was all of the above for me, either way I can't do it, I look away if I see even clips of it or something, though I am trying to hyper myself up and try to watch again in the future as a future film study since I believe it's on both Tubi and/or Shudder.

Either way, I thank you very much for message and posting ask! Don't be afraid to send more, I am always willing to chat, (now that I figured out how to reply) and I hope you don't mind that i post this if ya do, just shoot a me a message, but either way, thank you so much for your time!

#ask me anything

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andypantsx3 · 3 years

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Hii can I request a deleted scene for "if I could keep cool" that tells chapter 2 from Shouto's POV? I would absolutely love to c what was going through Shouto's head when he figured out that Y/N was just a cleaning lady and what was the moment that made him want to ask her out when he saw her at his house afterwards! Thank u!!

I accidentally got carried away, so this bad boy is 1.9k!! My apologies lol. I hope you like it!!

It wasn’t every day that someone told Shouto Todoroki to go fuck himself.

Particularly not quirkless civilians, and never those he’d rescued.

There was usually a lot more breathless gratitude, some bowing and scraping, and—mystifyingly—a lot of phone numbers, handkerchiefs, and very unsubtle attempts to get a hand or two around his biceps. Shouto didn’t really know what his biceps had to do with it, but he’d seen the same thing happen to Midoriya and Kirishima as well—and Bakugou once, before he’d nearly gnawed the woman’s hands off—so he assumed it was just another social cue he’d never understand.

As little as he cared for social cues, however, he was certain that there was usually a lot more thank you and a little less go fuck yourself involved in the whole rescuing process.

But then, he’d also never told off a civilian for having been kidnapped before.

A civilian who, he’d come to realize almost immediately afterward, hadn’t deserved it.

When he’d asked his mother her advice over the phone, she’d told him the best thing to do was to be honest and try to start fresh. “White flowers mean forgiveness—tulips new beginnings,” she’d advised him.

So Shouto had ducked into the nearest florist and brought back an apology in hopes that you would accept it.

He might have known, however, that you’d manage to turn even a simple apology completely on its head.

The clatter of cleaning supplies in his kitchen on Thursday afternoon told Shouto you’d let yourself in for your usual shift. He followed the sound, only for it to halt at his approach, the kitchen seemingly empty as he drew nearer.

He stopped short, fighting down a surprised swell of amusement when he realized you’d ducked down, hiding yourself behind his counters as if anyone, especially a pro hero, might be fooled by that.

“I know you’re there,” he said, keeping his tone even.

He heard a muttered swear word, and then you were rising slowly to your feet, wearing a sheepish expression, and clutching a bottle of windex like a weapon.

You looked just as you had the day of your rescue, though obviously a little less harrowed by a kidnapping. You were dressed casually in jeans and a simple shirt, no indicator that you were an employee of a cleaning service—Shouto felt at least a little justified in his mistake from last week.

You were clearly a college student, the backpack dumped at his kitchen island was evidence of that much, overflowing with textbooks and notes as it was, and you looked just slightly disheveled, like you might have come straight from class.

It was part of some nebulous, unassuming appeal to you, now that he had occasion to notice. He’d remembered your features twisted up in disdain, but they were open in surprise now, your eyes wide, fixed on him. His own eyes were drawn to the scrunch of your nose, a little curl of embarrassment that he suddenly found himself unable to tear his gaze away from.

“I, uh, thought you weren’t supposed to be here,” you admitted to him with a visible cringe.

Shouto almost laughed. He didn’t know much about you, but it was clear to him now that you weren’t anything like a crazy fan. You looked like you’d rather be anywhere but here at the moment. In fact, you looked rather like you might bolt any second.

A strange feeling shifted in his chest, and Shouto cut right to the chase.

“I owe you an apology,” he said simply.

You startled so violently that you dropped the windex. “W-what?”

Shouto sighed, admitting, “My manager schedules the cleaning days. I didn’t realize that you were—that is to say, I thought you were a fan who had broken in and managed to get kidnapped while you were at it.”

You gaped, another confused little expression that Shouto found himself fixating on with an intensity that surprised him. The weird feeling in his chest shifted, burning a little hotter.

He wondered absently what other expressions he could get you to make.

“Oh, I, um...nope. Not a fan,” you said, and the feeling grew more insistent.

He paused over the phrasing—not a fan.

It had never bothered him before, when someone was a bigger fan of a classmate than they were of him, or weren’t really a hero fan at all. Shouto honestly did not quite understand why hero work was so tied up in fandom in the first place, and only attended fan events because his manager’s temper was not a thing to be trifled with.

He wanted to be a hero who put people at ease, but ease was the last thing he felt with people clamoring all over him. Fighting villains was infinitely more preferable.

So why did your admission that you weren’t a fan of his niggle at his brain, like a particularly insistent parasite?

Who were you a fan of, if not him?

“...Well, glad that’s cleared up now. I’ll just, uh, go then,” you said, grabbing an armful of the cleaning supplies and shoving it back under the sink hastily.

Shouto had moved before he knew what he was doing, getting himself in between you and the door out to the hallway.

“Wait,” he said, feeling uncomfortable. “I want to make up for what I said to you. You...didn’t deserve that, especially not right after you’d been kidnapped by a villain.”

He watched you eye the space between his hip and the counter, like you were considering making a break for it. As he watched your face, he felt some strange hope that you might try it, a certainty he would catch you.

...Why did he want to catch you?

You waved a hand. “It’s fine. You saved me, we can call it even.”

Shouto’s mouth turned down minutely. He’d behaved badly, but surely you’d credit him better manners than that. “It’s my fault you were taken in the first place. I’d like to apologize properly.”

Your face did something weird, then, another distracting little curl of the nose. “You don’t actually have to go fuck yourself,” you blurted.

Shouto stared at you, caught off guard.

“Uh, I mean. You saved my life,” you babbled suddenly. “And yeah what you said to me was super rude, but what I said to you was also super rude. So, um, I’m sorry too. And I really would just like to call it even and forget about it because it’s super embarrassing for both of us and I could literally die thinking about it.”

You stopped suddenly, looking self-conscious like you’d realized you’d been rambling. Shouto almost wished you hadn’t.

“I hadn’t really planned on it,” he said quickly.

“Hadn’t planned on what?”

“Fucking myself,” he clarified. You choked on a shocked laugh, and he let a small smile tug at his mouth—there.

Finally.

Finally you looked a little more comfortable with him.

Shouto tried hard not to look too pleased with himself.

“Oh, well that’s good, then," you said. Then you puffed up a little, adding, "That’s probably a job for your actual secret lover.”

Good lord. “Not you, too.”

You threw him a smile, and Shouto’s heartbeat tripped over itself. “But I have evidence. I saw that homemade soup in your fridge once with the love note attached.”

It took him a moment to focus on what you were saying, but Shouto recalled the soup in question. It had been quite good, even if Bakugou had spent almost a half an hour ranting about what a weak ass little bitch he was for catching a cold. It had almost been worth it, the soup was that delicious. “Ah yes. That secret lover.”

“Cute pet name, too,” you said.

Shouto let out a low laugh, recalling the note. “You fucking fuck, was it?”

You laughed too, tension easing from your shoulders. Shouto’s eyes hungrily traced even that small movement.

A dawning sense of what was happening finally settled over him as he pronounced, “As it happens, however, I did already plan more of an apology.”

You looked up at him, your brow furrowing. “You planned...more of an apology?”

He gestured to a tall vase of white tulips on the kitchen counter. Your eyes went a little rounder as you observed them. You looked like you weren’t sure if they were for you, as if there were another previously kidnapped cleaning girl lurking about, who might be in need of an apology.

What a fascinating thing you were.

“I’ve been told that they mean forgiveness and new beginnings. I had hoped that we might...start over,” Shouto explained. He couldn’t help but feel self-conscious.

“I didn’t bring you any flowers,” you blurted.

He covered up a surprised laugh with a cough, the feeling in his stomach burning hotter. “I hadn’t expected them.”

He watched you turn back thoughtfully to the bouquet, certain now.

Over the phone, his mother had also said white flowers carried connotations of honor and purity. Two notions, Shouto realized with a growing sense of curiosity, that may be entirely inapplicable to his feelings about you.

He didn’t know much about you, but he knew for certain that he’d like to know more. And as he watched you reach out to pluck at a petal, wearing a shy little smile, he thought that yes, honor and purity had very little to do with his intentions at the moment.

You thanked him for the flowers, and Shouto made it clear to you that he hadn’t meant what he’d said about you being unwelcome here. He wanted—no, desired your return now.

“That’s good to hear, thank you,” you said. Then your smile went a little mischievous. “As you can see, though, it didn’t really deter me.”

Shouto let himself smirk. “If I hadn’t seen the cleaning supplies already on the counter, I would be concerned that you’d come back for revenge.”

“There’s still time,” you joked. “Maybe I was going to play the long game and fill all the bottles with Sprite.”

The mulish statement surprised him into another laugh. “I hope the flowers are enough of a deterrent.”

You looked over the flowers again, then smiled up at him. His eyes caught on your mouth.

“The bribe has been accepted. Your countertops are safe from me.” You paused, then added, “For now.”

The hot feeling was everywhere now, simmering just underneath Shouto’s skin. He left himself lean towards you, relishing in the way your breath caught in a tiny hitch. “Be warned that I will do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of my countertops.”

You complained that he hardly used them, but complied nevertheless. Then you bullied him out of the kitchen, that tiny little scrunch back on your nose.

Shouto let you have your way, making his way over to the couch and settling on it with a book he had absolutely no intention of reading. Instead, as he watched you clean, he considered things.

He had always been straightforward about his goals. Once he’d chosen heroism as his dream, he’d let nothing stand in his way, working diligently all through UA, shooting nonstop through the ranks before breaking into the top five this year, one of the youngest to have ever done it.

He was deliberate about what he wanted. He worked hard for what he wanted.

And as he wandered back towards the kitchen, questions ready in his mouth, he knew what else he wanted.

He wanted to know more about you.

He wanted to spend more time with you.

He wanted…

Well, he rather thought he wanted you.

I was going to edit this but every time I went to touch it, I made it worse. I hope you liked it anyway!

Garbage Fest masterlist & schedule.

#garbage fest 2021 #garbage fest questions

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winter-came · 3 years

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"It surely is one sided relationship. But to be honest, it’s one sided with all of his siblings" please please rant about this. P.S I've been loving all your unpopular opinions

First, I apologize for how long it took me to answer you. Second of all, thank you. ❤️

Originally I wanted to list actual examples of how their relationship is one sided. But I won’t. To sum it up, Five would do anything in the world for them and they couldn’t even meet him on time in the alley. There is no matched level of care, of concern, of interest, of protection, of love from their side for Five.

You can’t even blame it on Reggie’s shitty parenting skills because look at Allison and Klaus. How they interact. Even Diego and Luther have this dumbass caring interaction. Vanya and Diego? Klaus and Diego is amazing example as well. Yes, they are dysfunctional siblings but they do act as siblings. Five however is separated from them to the level I don’t think they recognize him as their brother. I mean on a rational level for sure, but not on an emotional level.

Someone on this site [I don’t know who it was now, forgive me] said that for them Five was just another tragedy they had to work through, while they were his entire motivation for survival. Very uncomparable situations. And it surely shows. And that's the precise reason why it's a one sided relationship. On one hand, sure, we can’t blame them. They moved on, lost contact with him, probably made peace with the fact he is forever gone...and then he came back. After 17 years. That is a long ass time. But on another hand, it takes A VERY LITTLE OF EFFORT to shake off the shock and try to embrace your brother back. Dialogue in S1 between Five and Luther is a good example. I get it...they don’t know who Five is now and he is not the most open person. But if they took their heads off their asses for a hot second, they would see at least half of the things he has done for them. And that he does it for them, not for the world. [if Diego actually used his brain and put together events of S1 and then what he learnt at Commission in S2...we would get somewhere.]

I genuinely don’t know if this makes any sense. I am dead af after five 12 hours shifts in work.

Five’s love for them was tainted by the horrifying loss of them. Their love for him faded into oblivion and soothing of time. Because life goes on. And so did they. Can that gap be breached? We will see in S3.

#i don't think i got my point across clearly enough #it's just there is this general aura of them not giving shit #they don't treat him as a brother #but as a colleague or a leader or a friend if i feel bold #just....idk i can't explain it better #i am sorry #vanya hargreeves ask #vanya hargreeves #tua vanya #umbrella academy vanya #number five #five hargreeves #tua five #umbrella academy five

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solomonish · 4 years

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How To Keep Your Demon Entertained At A Walmart

Congratulations! You've earned yourself a few demon date days up in the human world! But what's this? You have errands to run? Well, we all know these demons can't function without you for more than five minutes....but an entity that's thousands of years old gets a little bored and restless in the hyper-market wasteland of a Walmart...

Nowdateables: coming soon!

Lucifer

if you don't want him getting passive-aggressive about how you should've done this before he got here (yeesh Lucifer some of us have jobs or responsibilities that we can't shove onto our siblings for a day to see our precious mc) then you better be ready to make conversation

definitely not the type to allow you to even think about sending him off so you can get stuff done. he's not even that bothersome, so he'll get offended if you even think about it, but also wouldn't you rather keep him around to reach the top shelves?

basically if you don’t want to keep Lucifer entertained, you have to be the one he needs to keep entertained

do that thing where you roll around on the cart like a skateboard and he’ll be trying to put a stop to it immediately

put random things in your cart that he knows you don’t need and let him take it out and put it back where it belongs

stare him in the eyes as you put that party size brownie mix in your cart then speed walk away. he will come up from an aisle in front of you and silently pluck the box out and take it back. he will come back to see seven boxes of corn dogs and momentarily considers breaking up with you

does not need a treat as a bribe, but will definitely forgive your antics if you bought something from the bakery to snack on as you go home (especially if you did it without him noticing, considering the eagle eye he’s had to have on your cart the whole time)

just don’t have the nerve to complain about the crumbs in your car after that

Mammon

I would say to ask him to scan the area looking for dropped coins on the floor but he'd probably knock down shelves trying to look beneath them so....maybe don't?

also please keep an eye on him or he WILL be shoplifting. human jail is (probably?) a step up from demon jail but like. let's aim for no jail, ok mammon?

instead, give him a pre-portioned off list and tell him it's like a scavenger hunt. he'll scamper off to explore the walmart and his duty to keeping you happy has like a 70% chance of preventing him from stealing anything too important

make sure the stuff you put on the list is kind of hard to find but not too hard. you wanna keep him occupied without risking him freaking out because he can't find this super specific spice you want

either that or only make a really vague list like. tell him you need bread and he'll stand in the bread aisle trying to remember if you like white bread or whole wheat bread until you come to retrieve him

bring money for a treat. if it's near st patrick's day go in the seasonal aisle and hope they have chocolate gold coins

he's not too hard to deal with, but figuring out what's sneaky enough to put on the list is a chore of its own so going by yourself is less work anyway

Leviathan

taking him to walmart was your final fatal mistake

seriously? he has to go in? you could have just left him in the car!!

you take him intending to have him pick out some normie snacks (since you don't have any limited edition whatever-the-fucks in your house right now) but he looks so uncomfortable you make a detour towards the games

just leave him to play on the trial device and go pick out a few things for him to choose from when you circle back to him

arguable the least stressful trip for you until you have to wade through the pool of kids surrounding him and watching him play when it's time to pay and leave

you won't have to buy him anything but you will have to wait for him to finish the level he's on before he lets you drag him away. and he'll probably complain a little bit in the car about how terrible it was to go in in the first place, which a treat would help minimize.

so i guess just pick your battles with this one?

Satan

satan is a refined individual with startling amounts of self control. he does not need pointed in the direction of the books. he can entertain himself on a grocery run.

point him in the direction of the books anyway

their selection is always small (because it’s a walmart not a bookstore) and half of it is children’s anyway so he’ll probably wander off real quick

satan doesn’t need to be entertained, no, he’s past that. he needs to be kept on a leash

you have no way of knowing where he’ll end up. sometimes he’ll be somewhere that makes sense like in the stationary but sometimes you’ll find him staring at the paint samples like it’s a masterpiece in a museum or over by the fishing hooks reading up about local fish populations and how to get a fishing license and you’re just like “???? i’ve been looking for you for twenty minutes???? don’t give me facts about salmon???”

will ask you why you need to buy tires in the same place you get your food. isn’t that suspicious? what do they specialize in?

answer him only with the word “bargains” and he’ll stop asking once he understands or gets annoyed

you don’t need to buy him a treat unless he finds a book he wants. then come on mc, you dragged him out here and you’re NOT gonna let him get this one thing??

Asmodeus

he's fine with making an errand run with you actually!

he's up on the human world for you baby, just make sure to hold his hand so he feels appreciated

asmo is far too entertained with the concept of a walmart for his own good. don't go with him if you want it to be a quick trip because he'll want to go around the whole store

thinks at first that it's kind of nifty that humans just dump all the things they need in one store but is quickly turned off from the novelty when he realizes how short the distance is between the clothes and the nearest package of raw chicken

even if the selection is small, he will want to spend time in the makeup department. probably goes on rants about how he can’t imagine this quality of product is good for your skin

will still buy nail polish though if you let him

overall? not terrible to have around, but make sure you don’t have anywhere to be in the next hour when you take him

Beelzebub

pack a gallon bag of cheerios like he's a toddler and get ready to fucking book it in and out of there

you know how you should never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? what were you thinking bringing Beel around??

another brother who’s good for reaching tall shelves if you need it

Beel also has this talent where he can just list off the ingredients you need if you happen to forget your list

if you want, you can distract him momentarily by just throwing out random dishes and he’ll get the ingredients right every time (even though they’re human dishes!!) but you’ll end up giving him like five different cravings by the time you leave

only take him if you want to speedrun grocery shopping, because he will start eating food you haven’t paid for if you take too long

bring extra money for that too, just in case he gets caught :(

Belphegor

bringing belphie to walmart isn't a matter of keeping him entertained moreso than keeping him awake

which you will inevitably fail to do

so even if you only need like three things, get him a cart and let him fall into the basket

he’ll try to stay awake (and he’ll give very self-satisfied grins to the people who stare at him ((and especially the ones who say “wow i wanna do that”))) but he can only fight off his sin for so long

stop by the blankets so he can stuff a few soft things in (bc he’s gotta be uncomfortable cramped in the little basket) and he’ll make himself a tiny nest

the good news is you can put anything on top of him and he won’t complain. just don’t drop any gallons of milk on him or anything that’ll wake him up

go to a self check-out so the employees don’t yell at you

after you put your groceries in your car, just dump his ass on the pavement. he’ll forgive you if you bought him the blankets.

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anarmorofwords · 3 years

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Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

#the last hours #tlh #alastair carstairs #shadowhunters #the shadowhunter chronicles #anti charles fairchild #is this anti anna?#kamala joshi #ariadne bridgestock #chain of iron #chain of gold #spilling the tea

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cuddlesslut · 4 years

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Part Six: Promises

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x fem reader, Hinata x fem reader

A/N: Soooo at long last the reunion! So many emotions! I’m so stuck on who to root for!

Warnings: Angst, some fluff, slightly suggestive content

Part Five: Friends

Part Seven: Regrets

You eyes opened to the sun peering through the curtain shining straight right into your face. You moved your hands to block the sun easeing the strain it caused on your eyes. You were groggy, and you back felt stiff. This definitely wasn’t your bed. You surveyed the area finally remembering, that’s right I’m at Suna’s house. You let out a yawn wiping the sleep from your eyes. That when you felt him move next to you. Yesterday the boys had come back from their loss at nationals. While they made the trip back you spent the whole day getting everything ready for your boyfriend’s return. You wanted to make him feel better so you went to the market that morning and spent your day making homemade sashimi with Fatty Tuna and some Onigiri with the left overs for you ,Tsumu and his twin. Although when he finally arrived home and saw you sitting on his door step he wasn’t very receptive.

“Hey there baby,” you gave him a quiet smile, you know he can’t be feeling to hot right now. You ignored the hurt you felt when he rolled his eyes at you.

“What are you doing here YN?” He sighed there was a slight annoyance to his tone. Again you brushed it to the side.

“I wanted to come be here for you, oh and I brought some food for you and Samu,” you presented the bag containing all of the goodies you had made for them.

Osamu’s eyes lit up at the word food quickly grabbing the bag out your hands “ohhh hell yeah I’m starving, mmmh thanks YN,” he said trying to stuff an Onigiri in his mouth before entering the Miya household. You laughed at his antics before turning your attention back to your boyfriend.

Atsumu stood there in front of you with a look of exhaustion etched on his face. “I was thinking maybe we could spend the evening together, maybe watch a movie, or just cuddle or really whatever you want,” you explained not sure what would be the best in this situation you weren’t used to having to comfort him after a loss.

He frowned “what I want is to be left alone I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now.”

You scoffed “ deal with me!” You questioned back suprised by his attitude.

“Yeah YN I really dont feel like putting up with your clinginess right now it’s annoying,” he huffed.

Your jaw dropped he had never spoke to you that way before. “Wow Okay Atsumu, I knew you were gunna be upset but that doesn’t mean you get to be a dick to me! Enjoy the food I’m going to leave it’s obvious I’m not wanted here,” you stated not standing to be talked like that.

You didn’t stick around to hear his response, you both needed to calm down at this point. You made your way down the street still fuming and ranting in your head “how dare he!” You thought! Ughhh you needed to calm down. You already knew the destination you were heading for. You had planned to save some of the snacks you had made and bring some home to Suna on your way home tonight. But now all the food was with Atsumu. You could feel your stomach growl. You let out a frustrated sigh stuspid Tsumu that was you meal too. You decide to stop at convenience store loading up on all of yours and the middle blockers favorite snacks.

And that’s how you ended up where you are now. Laying down on his couch covered in his comforter with your best friends face snuggled up into your stomach. You giggled he looked adorable. Part of you really wanted snap a photo for proof. Suna was never the most affectionate when it came to anyone really, so to see him holding your waist close was so sweet. He looked so peaceful. You were so thankful for him. When you showed up at his door yesterday you were supposed to cheer him up but it seems it was more likely the other way around. Lost in thought you start running your fingers through his hair as he laid sleeping on your abdomen. He was always there for you and always put your feeling into account with anything you did together. He paid attention to the little details ,like how he had remembered yesterday that milk bread was your favorite, but he did that all the time always so analytical with everything. So you don’t think to much of it. It’s hard to stop yourself and if anyone EVER asked you , you would lie. But for a moment you imagined what it would be like if you were dating the withdrawn boy. You were quick to dismiss that idea though. It was wrong you love Atsumu you knew that and plus he was you best friend. Hell he was one of your boyfriends closest friends. Your smile dropped a little thinking about the setter. That’s right your boyfriend, that is if that what he still was. You weren’t mad anymore a little hurt yes but all the anger had disapatted. You understood he wasn’t in the best place and you weren’t going to let one fight break you up. But you couldn’t speak for him. Were you really that clingy? Did you annoy him that much? Did he still want to be with you? These intrusive thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of your phone. Huh speak of the devil.

Tsumu 💕 : hey babe.

Tsumu 💕: I know ur probably pissed u should be.

Tsumu 💕 : I’m so so sorry for being an ass yesterday. I was just so mad at myself for not doing enough at the match, but that doesn’t matter it was no excuse for how I treated you. I get it if you don’t want to deal with me anymore but I just want you to know you're not annoying I didn’t mean any of the shit I said I was just angry and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I promise it’ll never happen again please give me another chance I love you YN 🥺💕

You let out a sigh of relief. Looking back down at the boy laying next to you. He really was quite handsome, and so caring. He's going to make someone so happy one day.

You’re not sure what brought that memory into your head at this moment but you push it to the side as Suna approached you. He looked like a man on a mission weaving threw the bar patrons. It was like if he didn’t reach you in time you’d disappear. You found your heart beating faster as we neared you. Soon enough he was standing in front of you with a look of disbelief etched on his normally stoic face.

You were nervous what should you say. What if he’s angry with you. You didn’t get much time to worry because as soon as the middle blocker confirmed you weren't a figment of his imagination he pulled you into his chest. His arms wrapping around you securely. You quickly melt into his embrace a sense of familiarity swarming over you.

“Where the hell have you been dumbass,” he choked out before quickly pulling his emotions back in. You laughed into his chest at his nickname for you.

“Sorry Suna I just had to leave I couldn’t be around him anymore,” you choked out. You removed yourself from his grasp moving back to your seat at the bar. You motioned for him to join you. You took a large gulp needing to calm your nerves.

“Look don’t apologize, you were going through a lot , hell I don’t know how I would react if I found out the person I loved was cheating on me for two years, I might committed murder,” he lets out a nervous laugh. Your brain freezes two years.... two years your mind just keeps repeating like it just can’t possibly process that information. You face drops, you turn to the bartender “ another shot of tequila please, uh make that a double,” lord knows you need it.

Suna looks at you eyes wide you had never been much of a drinker before ,at least not hard liquor, the most you ever drank were a glass or two of wine. So to see you finish off your mixed drink then proceed to down a double shot of tequila was a sight.

Your mind was swimming. As you paid out the bartender leaving a nice tip for the speedy service your mind ran in circles around the new information. You knew he had cheated on you for the eight months with Yuki and part of you figured it wasn’t the first time but TWO DAMN YEARS! You want to scream and break something like he couldn’t betray you anymore then Suna has to go tell you it was for hell of a lot longer than you had figured. You froze you brain caught on to one detail. Suna knew it was for two years and you didn’t. Did he know the whole damn time! Your brain couldn’t think rationally. You need to get out of here. It was to much the music was too loud, the place was to crowded, you felt like you couldn’t breath. You gave him a look of disgust before turning and walking away ready to leave this place.

Suna was shocked all of the sudden you looked at him your face full of pain. Before he could realize what was happening you were slipping through the crowd. Oh no he panics he just found you he couldn't let you slip away that easy. He wanted to know why you dropped him. He needed to know if he meant that little to you. So he started running after you calling your name. Luck was on his side tonight. Although you had been able to make it out the club and partially down the block he was able to catch you.

“YN wait , where are you going,” he asked desperately reaching for your wrist to stop you. You snatched your arm away from him angry.

“I’m going home Suna leave me alone,” you shout over you shoulder heading towards your apartment luckily it wasn’t too far. Although you could feel the alcohol start to settle in you knew you could still navigate your way home.

“ stop YN talk to me,” you ignored him and kept walking he let out a groan of frustration and started following you. It not like he had just downed two shots but he had plenty of drinks before he had found you. He was not expecting to have to go for a walk.

You look over your shoulder noticing he was following you. “Ughh leave me alone Suna,” you yell back to him, “stop following me!”

“Too bad I am walking with you till get home, I just watched you put back a lot of alcohol I know you can’t be sober so there is no way I’m letting you go by yourself! I’m walking with you I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.” You sighed knowing there was no changing his mind. You looked forward continuing your trek home.

After that last outburst the rest of the walk was silent. Your mind was clouded. You wanted to cry so badly how could Suna act like he cared about you if he helped hide Atsumus betrayal from you. Maybe you were right maybe the friendship was a lie, maybe the connection was one sided. You could feel a swell of emotions in your chest. You denied it for long but you missed Suna. You missed your late night calls, you missed getting coffee , you missed forcing him to watch the newest episode of whatever anime you were watching, you missed hearing all about his games and being one of his number one fans, you missed sending memes, but most of all you missed how much he always seemed to be there when you needed him. But what if that was all just an act. What if ir was just a distraction from all the lies in your life. Before you knew it you were standing at you front door. You could feel his presence behind you unmoving.

“Goodbye Suna,” you huffed opening your door.

“STOP! YN please!” His voice broke. “Please don’t shut me out again! Talk to me!” You refused look back but if you did you’d see tears welling in his eyes holding on with all might trying not to spill over his heated cheeks. You looked at the entrance of your home every fiber in your body screaming at you to comfort him to reach out and hold him close, but you were so scared. So afraid to learn the truth.

“If our friendship ever meant anything to you please talk to me.” He voice so quiet like he was terrified of your response. You moved forward opening the door and stepping through the threshold. You could hear his sharp intake of air you could feel the pain radiating from him. You turned to him seeing Suna broken in a way you had never seen before. Not when he lost nationals, not when he lost his pet, not with any of his break ups. Your heart shattered at the sight. You looked into his eyes before opening you door wider for him to enter. You could see the relief rack through his body. Slowly as though he was unsure you’d change your mind at the last minute he stepped into your apartment. He tentatively took off his shoes before looking around your home studying every detail. You walk past him taking a seat on your couch you look down at the ground in front of you. You can feel the couch seat next to you shift under his weight his long legs entering your vision as you kept from looking up. You both sat in an uncomfortable silence both unsure were to start.

“So this is we’re you been all this time,” he let out a small laugh at the irony, “all that time I spent looking for you and here you were less then ten minutes away from me.”

Your face scrunched “ why would you look for me,” you asked letting your insecurities get the best of you.

He looked at you like you had just asked him if the sky was blue because to him that had to be stupidest question he had ever heard. You shifted uncomfortably under his stare you body now facing him. You head throbbing from the cluster of emotions and from the alcohol coursing throughout your body. You were sorta thankful for your inebriated state. You doubted you’d have the small amount of courage you have now with out it. Your attention turned back to the male sitting beside you.

“Because I care about you dumbass.”

“Oh really! Yeah it sure seemed like that! Two years he cheated on me for TWO YEARS!,” you started to feel heated the walls you had built around your emotions bursting at the seems. “ that’s news to me although at this point I’m not all that surprised, but still I was only aware that he had been cheating on me for eight months! So I just find it strange that you know it was for two years! Tell me Suna did you know the whole time and just let me sit there ignorant to his betrayal! I know you are his friend and that you’ve known him longer but still I thought our friendship meant something!” You aren’t sure when it started but tears were spilling down your cheeks. You looked into his eyes and saw pain. He was hurt that you thought he’d ever choose anyone over you.

He takes a deep breath steadying himself “I’m going to explain everything and I need you to please just listen to me,” he sighs looking to you for your response. You gave a small nod . He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He rubs his hands over his face trying his best to calm his nerves.

“It was two weeks after your birthday,” he begins. “You weren’t answering your phone, it was so unusual for you to ignore me for that long no matter how busy you were you’d always call me and check up, so when I got no response I got scared you were angry with me ,so when I was meeting up with Osamu and he said he hadn’t heard from you either and that Atsumu wasn’t answering his phone neither we decided to stop by.” His face twitched with aggravation. “You can imagine our surprise to find the place a mess and Atsumu just sitting there in self pity. It became apparent that you weren’t there. When he said you left him Samu and I were shocked there was no way you’d just leave so we both knew something had to happen.” You could see Suna’s jaw clench and fist ball up grabbing at his pants. “When he finally broke and told us he cheated on you and you had caught him he came clean about the two years. I couldn’t hear anymore of his bullshit so I punched him and left.” Your eyes went wide. He punched him. “Osamu had to come outside and calm me down, I was so worried no one knew where you were and that ass was just sitting there feeling bad for himself!” He seethed. You placed your hand on his arm trying to calm him. It must have done the trick. He took a deep breath before looking straight into your eyes. “I honestly thought you knew how long, I didn’t know I promise you that,” he picked up your free hand holding it in his. “You should know I’d never choose him or anyone for that matter over you.”

Your heart felt like it stopped in that moment. “Why would you say that,” you asked breathless.

He let out a chuckle he brought his hand up to caress your face. You couldn’t stop yourself from pressing your cheek firmly into his palm. You heart started to quicken. There was a look in the middle blockers eyes that you had never noticed before although it looked so familiar like this was how he always looked at you and you were just to blind to notice. “I thought it would have been obvious by now,” you didn’t notice how close you had both become. His face was merely an inch or two away from yours. His eyes glanced down to your lips, you copy the motion. You can feel your cheeks heat. “ I’m in love with you,” he states his breath hiting you face. Before you knew it his lips were connected to yours.

You didn’t pull back enjoying the feeling of his lips. He snaked his hand behind your head holding the back of your neck securely. The kiss was slow but so full of passion. You felt a light lick of his tongue as he requested to deepen the kiss. You gladly obliged opening your mouth to his exploration. You snaked your hands into his hair adjusting your body to his. Slowly he leaned you back on the couch capturing you underneath him. He slid he’s free hand down grabbing ahold of your hip as your tongue danced together sensually. He gave a light squeez to your hip. Your lips disconnected as your head fell back while you let out a soft moan. He seized this opportunity to place delicate kisses under your jaw and down your neck before latching on to your neck. You legs spread allowing him closer access to you. The hand at you hip gently crept up your shirt before giving a tender clutch to your breast.

“Suna!” You mewled.

He gave a soft nip at your neck “say my name love,” he requested his voice heavy with want. He tweaked your nipple through the fabric of your bra.

“Ahh Rintarou,” you moaned. Your fingers gripping at the black strands of his hair your back arching up into his touch.

You could feel him smile into your neck. “You don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of hearing that,” he recapture your lips into a searing kiss as he rolled his hips into yours bringing another whimper forth. You were lost in the feeling of his presence. It was so calming and warm. You felt so comfortable in his arms like this was something you had done a thousand times. Your want for oxygen is sacrificed for the feeling of him pressed into your body. This was different than anything else. It was like he was trying to pour all of his love into this moment. Everything moving slowly as though he wanted to take his time with you. Nothing was hurried or fueled by lust. It was so unlike anything you experienced with Atsumu, or with .....

“Stop,” you breathed disconnecting your lips sitting up trying to create some distance between your bodies. He moved back worried. Cautious of his next move not wanting to scare you away.

“I’m sorry did I hurt you? did I move to fast? I’m sorry YN,” he stammered out.

“Shh Rin, it’s okay you didn’t do anything wrong it’s me,” he gave a small smile loving hearing you call him by his given name. That smile was quickly replaced with a questioning look.

You calmed yourself trying to figure out how to explain your situation. “Rin I can’t do this right now it’s not okay.... there’s someone,” his face dropped.

“Your dating someone,” you could see the fear on his face.

“Well no we’re not dating... it complicated.”

He could start to figure out what you were referring to, he’s not naive. But still he wanted to allow you to explain it.

“Ah this is kind of embarrassing ugh,” you hid your face in your hands.

“It’s okay YN you can tell me anything,” he looked at you reassuring, he needed to know the truth about the situation. He could only hope it wasn’t to serious.

“Well ,” you took a deep breath “ there’s this guy, he’s my friend,” you add “ he and I are uhh well we sleep together, it’s been going on for two months now,” you search his face for any judgment yet you find none. You continue “ I just don’t feel right continuing with what we were doing.”

He shook his head while he searched for his next words. “So you aren’t dating but you don’t feel right being with someone else,” he questions.

“I won’t lie to Rin it’s complicated, I’m fairly certain I was falling for him, but there’s just so much going on and now this with you it’s a lot.” You give him a small smile. “I’m not sure we’re my head is at. I don’t want to make any mistakes that could ruin everything with you and how we move forward, I also have a lot to think about.”

“I understand that but I hope you understand why I’m hesitant, I’m afraid you’ll drop me again and you’ll be gone from me again,” he looked up at you. “I need to know YN, please tell me why did you cut me out of your life?”

You sighed grabbing his hands holding then tightly in your own. “Rin it was so hard, when he betrayed me it felt as though I’d lost the place I called home, like everything I knew was a lie, it terrified me at the idea that everything was a lie, even us, I don’t think I’d survived if I found out that what we have was nothing. So it was easier to push you and everyone else away, I was scared. I also couldn’t stand the idea of Atsumu being in any part of my life, and I still don’t that’s why I’m still so nervous letting you back in, I’m still not ready to face him.”

“I would cut him completely out of my life for you YN, anything you ask and I do it! You could ask for the moon and I’d find a way.” A soft giggle left your lips at his proclamation.

“I could never ask that of you, that’d include Osamu and he’s your closest friend, I couldn’t do that. And I’m not asking you to cut anyone out.... I just need some time,please understand that. These feeling I have for you are so strong but I want to sort them out before we move forward.” You looked him directly in the eyes. “I promise you Rin I will not drop you again, I don’t want you out of my life.” He nodded.

“Okay, I understand and I’ll give you time, but you have to give me your new number,” he smiled at you. You laughed smiling up at him. God how he missed that smile. You traded numbers, before you walked him to the door.

“Goodnight Rin,” you smiled.

“Goodnight love,” he replied leaning down stealing one more kiss. You looked up at him surprised. “What I promised I’d give you time, I never said I wasn’t going to prove to you in that time just how much I love you,” he grinned that sly smile before slipping out your door. Just like earlier that day you slid down your door sitting on the floor letiting out a sigh, except now you had a multitude of new problems. But right now all you could think of was sleep. You were exhausted.

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kelluinox · 3 years

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Well, I read snk 139. And regret it.

1) Soooo right off the bat we have Armin and his condescending patronizing. Why am I not surprised. Sure, let's blame Eren for being fucking idiots and demand that he apologize to a girl who molested his corpse. Eren should've kicked Armin more.

2) FINALLY Armin gets it. FINALLY. Intelligent character you say? Judging by how long it took him to realize what Eren was doing - I think not.

3) God I don't like this narrative of keeping your humanity. I really don't. Season 1 conveyed a completely different idea.

4) ........ Well there goes any respect I had for Isayama. Ymir was in love with Karl Fritz?!? Stockholm syndrome much?!? That is not a pure emotion!! What the fuck?!? There are so many things wrong with this, I can't even—

5) Wait does this confirm that Eren didn't know about that disgusting kiss?!? Now I feel even more sick. And seriously, seeing Mikasa force herself on a disembodied head convinced Ymir to abandon Fritz and cured her of her Stockholm Syndrome??? How???

6) So Eren did send Dina after his mom to put himself on a certain path to save Paradis? Damn, that's brutal and heartbreaking at the same time. Imagine having to sacrifice your own mother in order to save your people. My heart...

7) Okay, I will seriously fight Armin now. MIKASA ISN'T OWED SHIT AND NEITHER ARE YOU AFTER THE WAY YOU'VE TREATED EREN FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THIS MANGA. And just because Mikasa risked her life to save Eren's (although he never asked her to) he is under no obligation to return her feelings so fuck off. I swear to God Armin has to be one of the most hypocritical and unlikeable characters in SNK by now.

8) ......... Please tell me I'm hallucinating. Isayama don't do this to me. Don't ruin Eren this way, I'm begging you. Making him a lovesick possessive idiot?! Are you serious?!

9) IT'S FUCKING GRISHA! I KNEW IT! But I also can't feel happy because I'm hating this conversation so much. So thanks.

10) Finally Eren gets some fucking gratitude. But Armin will let this conversation go to waste. That much has already been shown.

11) Well, 138 was fucking pointless. Thanks for nothing, Isayama.

12) This is so cheesy and stupid I just can't help but laugh, oh my god. Who wrote these dialogues?? Everybody fucking crying and praising Eren? "What a man you are" PFFFFFT. This is so stupid it has become comedic.

13) And the promotion of unhealthy relationships continues as Annie embraces the man who abused her her entire life.

14) And here we have the survivors talking to the dead in a happy ending. Can this get any more cliche? Someone please kill me now. End my suffering.

15) Fuck Karina. She doesn't get to apologize or demand Reiner to stay with her. I know several abusive mothers and they all deserved to have their asses abandoned by their children. All of them. I've supported several friends with mother issues, I know what I'm talking about.

16) Can Mikasa stop touching Eren's head? If anyone has to carry him, let it be Armin. Stalker kasa is giving me the heebie-jeebies. I feel like I need to wash my hands every time I see her, I feel so dirty and disgusted.

17) And Marley are pointing their guns again. Siiigh. Why did the Alliance save these guys again?

18) What does it fucking matter?!?! Wasn't the entire point of your speech before the Alliance arrived that you were all equal?!?! Why the hell are you asking whether they're humans or titans, thus showcasing your continued racism?!?!

19) Like hell you did Armin. Although I suppose it does make sense that he would protect his psychotic friend by claiming her 'achievement' of killing Eren as his own. God knows, her mental health is bad already. If she gets attention for killing Eren she just might go on a beheading spree, kissing everyone she kills on the way.

20) Okay, Historia and her child are so cute. Gaaaah. Even though I so far hate everything about this, I'm saving this panel of Historia holding her little girl. I'm not made of stone. But also thanks for officially making Historia irrelevant after setting up so much.

21) Great. The Rumbling is pointless. Eldia is forming a military now. The survivors of the world probably will too. Nobody learned their fucking lesson and this endless fighting will continue. Just peachy.

22) My god everyone is a parody of themselves now. Tell me this entire chapter is a late April Fools' joke. Reiner lusting after Historia... Sure, he did that in Season 1, but it wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now.

23) Historia putting people who betrayed her country under protection... Wow. That's definitely what a good leader does. I guess if my country ever gets betrayed during a war, it should definitely forgive and protect the traitors that could've brought about its destruction. Totally.

24) Can Mikasa please get some medication already? Her psychosis is getting worse.

25) Eren is now a bird? Or at least controlling it from 'beyond the grave'? Symbolism has always flown over my head, I'll admit. And yes, I realize that this is also a callback to his promise after Hannes' death. But I guess this is confirmation that Mikasa will now live with that scarf around her neck, dreaming about Eren to the end of her days and never truly moving on. What a great character arc that is.

Maybe I'll rant about this chapter more later on, but these are my thoughts so far. I didn't expect anything good, but I'm somehow disappointed anyway, so I guess Isayama can consider that an achievement on his part.

#I'm sad now #thanks for nothing #snk 139 #anti mikasa #anti armin #snk spoilers

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koutone-moved · 4 years

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Saeran/Ray After Ending: My Thoughts

Hey everyone! I’m not one to really go in-depth about stuff in here, but I really felt the urge to talk about this since Saeran is a character that is really dear to me and this After Ending was something that I and many, many other people had been looking forward to for a long time.

I’ll be talking spoilers about the entire AE below the cut, so please beware!

I wanted to start off with the things I really did enjoy.

Cheritz trying new things with the AEs for both V and Saeran was really great, in my opinion. They could have stuck with the previous format of just giving us sneak peeks into the respective couple’s life after getting together but instead decided to turn them into complete story expansions that felt more like Secret Endings. The effort and care everyone at Cheritz has put into these storylines is incredible and they deserve all the kudos and praise.

The chatroom format was a really cool idea and having the player influence the outcome was something I greatly enjoyed. Having the story be a romance/thriller combination was super fun and immersive, too. The prologue was a great hook in my opinion--it had my heart beating fast with anxiety from the very start lolol.

ALL THE SAERAN FLUFF AND CALLS, LORD ALMIGHTY. I ADORED EVERY SECOND OF IT! I totally picture Saeran being a really cheesy and adoring boyfriend, especially since MC is so precious to him. I think they hit the nail right in the head with this.

The CGs were BEAUTIFUL. I was shocked at how many we got for a 4-day story, and they all really brought the story to life. Huge props to Cheritz for the immense effort they put into them.

The first two days of the AE (though extremely anxiety-inducing and emotionally painful for most of their duration, lol) were super entertaining and how I had always envisioned the story going down. I think having the PM and the agency unite forces as the main antagonistic force was awesome, and I really wish the story had solely focused on them.

Now, the things I didn’t like.

The Rika drama. I totally understand why addressing and breaking down Rika’s terrible actions is important for Saeran’s story. But... why, why did we need to revisit the “actually Rika has always been a good person that did some bad things” plot point when it was already done to death in V’s AE and route? I’m sorry, but this makes my blood boil.

Rika abused Saeran so badly to the point that he had to split his personality into two different people to survive, drugged him into hating his own brother, constantly told him and made him believe he was worthless if he didn’t work his ass off 24/7, killed his fucking mother, etc. The list goes on. Not to mention: she broke and drugged the minds of many other people! Not just Saeran!

I understand that the story gives us options to call Rika and V out on this bs and it encourages us to do it, but... just the fact that we have to entertain the possibility of forgiving her and letting her get off scot-free truly, truly fucking floors me.

What really bothered me about this is that this subplot took an entire day out of the 4-day story. A whole ass day that could have been spent developing the PM-agency storyline (which, again, I truly wish they had focused on). It really sucked that we had to spend a day exclusively talking to Rika and V about the same thing over, over, and over again.

V. What in the hell did Cheritz do to his character, lmao? I don’t like V at all and the actions he’s chosen to take in regards to Rika and Saeran have always truly infuriated and baffled me. But, I’ve never thought of him as someone who would willingly hurt the RFA.

I was SHOCKED to see how selfish and twisted he was in this story, especially in Day 3. He said he would never try to change Rika again and hoped she would flourish as a result and become a better person. But. My good man, how in the hell did he ever think that kidnapping two grown ass adults and forcing them to be their children was a sane decision?

I was truly convinced until the very last moment that V returning to Rika was a red herring and that he had a plan all along to keep her in check and protect the RFA. But nope.

I may not be a V stan, but even I know that V would never act so selfishly.

The GE/NE resolution. It felt so rushed and is the main reason why I think Day 3 should have been handled differently. The truly bullshit thing that stood out to me about it was how a short confrontation with the illegitimate son he gives no shits about is enough for the PM to have a change of heart. LOL. The corrupt, greedy prime minister that has his entire life and career hanging on a line is suddenly enlightened on his evil ways and turns himself in. Am I too cynical for thinking this resolution is stupid and makes no sense? I know at this point it was basically impossible for him to not get arrested, but I really didn’t buy this and it felt like cop-out from Cheritz’s part, writing-wise.

How Saeran’s trauma was handled. I know I already expressed loving how Saeran was towards MC in this AE, but that does not include this part specifically, lol.

I understand a big part of Saeran’s story is learning to forgive and understand to find true happiness and freedom. And I love that, it truly is a beautiful direction for his character.

I know Cheritz is not great at writing realistic trauma recovery for his characters--that was already apparent in Saeran’s route. But, I never found it so unrealistic to the point of breaking immersion for me until this AE. It just felt so silly at some points that I couldn’t even convince myself that maybe it was possible.

It’s been two weeks since he escaped Mint Eye, and... he is completely fine with talking casually to Rika, trying to understand her, and being in the same room as her? He is fine with confronting the PM and telling him he forgives him because ‘he must have a tragic past’? Really?

Maybe he is just a better person than I am lol, but this was too much. I completely understand how someone could reach this level of inner peace and choose to forgive their abusers in order to heal. But. Two weeks. Although the circumstances were different, I think the Secret Ending handled Saeran’s recovery a lot better in this sense.

In Summary: LOVED Day 1 and 2, hated Day 3 and 4

I’m sorry if I got a bit too rant-y on the reasons why I disliked the AE LOL. I just had many feelings about it and couldn’t stop myself. If anyone wants to send me or comment their own thoughts, please feel free to do so!! I would love to read some different perspectives.

I don’t hate the AE as whole, but it really let me down in some big ways. I’ll probably try to replay it in the future and see if I change my mind about some aspects about it, though. It’s sad to say this, but V’s AE left me feeling more fulfilled in some regards than this lol. I really wish Saeyoung would have had more involvement in the story, too.

I did love the very final epilogue for both the GE and NE, which was the main thing I was hoping for--so there’s that, I guess.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading!

#mystic messenger #saeran choi #saeran after ending #ray after ending

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sir-phineas-lost · 3 years

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Follow-up post

So I got a reply to my comment about the ableism in Ironwood’s character arc by @swapauanon and then they immediately blocked me. Since I am sometimes a petty bastard I decided to make a separate response anyway.

The first thing I would like to point out is that this person does not actually address my points in any way throughout this lengthy rant. My comment was all about the behind-the-scenes comments from the creators and they only responded with in-text examples and their interpretations of them. Those are important sure, and I will talk about those, but they don’t exactly come off as arguing in good-faith right from the get-go.

Okay, so I don’t TYPICALLY acknowledge RWDE’s beyond blocking them, but I think it’s important to separate how Ironwood views himself versus how the writers view him.

Because Ironwood’s entire downfall is his misunderstanding of how humanity works. He denies his own humanity, and sees maiming his vulnerable flesh and replacing it with unfeeling machinery as ridding himself of his own human weaknesses.

Except at the end of the day, he can’t cast off his VERY human soul, and his refusal to acknowledge that he can’t and SHOULDN’T do that are ultimately what leads to his downfall.

I have seen this “Actually it is just Ironwood himself that is ableist” argument before, and I don’t think it holds any water. While it is true that he begins to see compassion as a weakness, he never expresses the views you say he does about his own machine parts. And if you want to talk about how Ironwood sees himself vs how the writers see him you really can’t do so without talking about framing and subtext. When we get scenes that emphazize Ironwood’s machine parts to make him look intimidating or use his passive superpower (described as “hyper-focus” by the creators themselves) to shut off his empathy, that is the writers telling us that these physical aspects of Ironwood makes him less human.

Meanwhile, what V8C12 was TRYING to convey (even if it was horrible in its execution), was that it’s one’s SOUL that defines them, not the body that houses it.

Literally NO OTHER CHARACTER with mechanical parts added to their body views themselves as less human.

[...]

Penny doesn’t angst over not being human, she angsts over being treated like a soulless tool. (Which is why I don’t like that they turned her human. Had they set up that she’d wanted to be human back in Volume 2, it would’ve been one thing, but they don’t establish that Penny wanted to be human until AFTER her mechanical body has been discarded.)

So here they outright contradict themselves. They start off saying that no other character views themselves this way, and then go on to say that Penny does (but only after she has been turned human). And like, points for admitting that scene was bad, but they seem unwilling to consider that maybe the fact that the writers did include that scene tells us something about the way the show at large views disability. They seem to think they can just write it off and move on like this instance of Penny absolutely seeing herself as inhuman can just be ignored. it also disregards that this isn’t just Penny expressing how she feels about herself. When Penny gets her human body she expresses surprise that hugging someone makes her feel “warm inside” even though she has hugged people countless times before. This is not a villain saying that having machine parts makes you less human and being proven wrong, this is a hero saying outright that “wow, my mechaniocal body made me unable to appreciate this simple human interaction, but now that I have a flesh-body I can”. Things like this is why I do not buy the argument that it is only Ironwood who thinks being part machine makes you less human.

Mercury doesn’t angst over the loss of his legs, he angsts over the piece of his soul his father tore out.

[...]

While Yang DOES lose her arm and angst over it, she doesn’t view herself as less human because of her prosthetic.

The closest we get to a LITERAL “cybernetics eats your soul” story is with Cinder, and she doesn’t have ANY cybernetics, just a parasitic leash that’s slowly consuming her flesh and threatens to eventually consume her mind if she doesn’t get rid of it. And if/when she does, I imagine she’ll replace that with a mechanical arm.

(I moved a few parts of their post around here because it made more sense to me to talk about these quotes together)

I feel like this highlights how much this person completely ignores the core argument of what makes the themes in RWBY ableist. They focus way too much on the literal and whether the characters “angst” over their humanity. But like I have said before, thie main issue here is theme and subtext.

Mercury doesn’t “angst” over his legs, but that doesn’t erase the subtext inherent in the fact that he still lost his legs (and presumanbly the piece of his soul) at the same time as he joins team evil.

Yang is probably the best take on a disabled person with a prosthetic in the show. I will give it that. I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with how it has handled this storyline, but I do think it sets a certain expectation for how it thinks a “good” person should handle their disability. Because Yang basically deals with her lost arm by seeing her prosthetic as an “extra”. She creates a distance between herself and it instead of seeing her mechanical arm as actually part of herself. Again, nothing inherently wrong with that but combined with the Penny-nonsense it creates a pattern of seeing machine parts as inherently inhuman and “lesser”.

The point about Cinder is where the argument relies too much on technicality. Sure, Cinder’s new arm isn’t cybernetic, bhut it is still a prosthetic and it is unambiguously presented as evil and corrupting.

So, no, it’s not the fact that Ironwood has prosthetics that makes him less human, they’re simply a symptom of his view of “soft” traits (kindness, empathy, forgiveness, and flesh), as weaknesses to be sacrificed for the “greater good”. Basically, while I know this term gets misused a lot, Ironwood embodies toxic masculinity. The idea that showing any emotion other than rage and pride is “shameful” and “unmanly”. The idea that brute strength matters more than strategy. That taking unnecessary risks to achieve your goal is “brave” and “daring” and not “stupid beyond belief”. Plus, I want to point out that WINTER HERSELF said that Penny (as a robot) was more “human” than her.

Again, this completely ignores how Ironwood and his prosthetics are framed by the narrative. The idea that all of his flaws are based in toxic masculinity and have nothing to do with his disability is just not very supported by the text or by word of God (again, it was the creators themselves who said that losing his arm was “symbolic of losing his humanity).

And Winter’s words to Penny aren’t very positive either. The point being made there is that Penny was always human “underneeth” her robotics, which sounds good until you realize that this still frames her mechanical differences as negative. They are treated as a prison for the “real” Penny and the narrative explicitly tells us that they have made her unable to feel certain emotions.

It’s just that searing off that flesh after breaking his own Aura serves as a good visual metaphor for Ironwood giving up his “softer” traits to accomplish his goals, even if there was a better solution staring him right in the face (i.e. the rings were EXPOSED and he could’ve just nudged them out of alignment to get to Watts).

This feels like a really big reach on their parts to justify their idea of Ironwood as stupid on top of everything else. It relies on assuming things about fictional technology that was never explained in the show itself. I mean, if the rings are so easy to nudge then what is even holding them in place?

Either way it doesn’t really matter because the message of the scene is the same. If the point is to signal that ironwood is willing to give up his softer traits because he is also willing to give up his soft bady, then that also tells the viewer that being able-bodied and being capable of compassion/kindness/etc are synonymous.

It has nothing to do with the metal, and everything to do with the “Mettle”.

I have no idea why they would bring up the fantasy neurodivergence the writers added in through word-of-God as if it somehow makes the show less ableist. “Mettle” as it is described by the writers, is not a character flaw. It is a chronic condition.

Edit: Seriously, I hope you realize that the hatedom makes it VERY hard for any criticism of the show to be taken seriously when the very VALID cricisms are downed out by “Adam should’ve been an anti-hero!” and “Fascism is good, actually!” leading to those of us with ACTUAL constructive criticism getting lumped in with you lot!

I am curious what they think “constructive criticism” looks like since apparently “Hey, constantly equating robot parts with inhuman behavior is shitty and ableist, please stop” doesn’t cut it.

Anyways, fuck this guy. If they want to be taken seriously maybe they should think about why they had to make such a long-ass rant to dismiss criticism of very basic ableist tropes.

#rwby #rwby meta #meta #rwby critical #rwde

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bre-meister · 4 years

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I need some pre married/family angst

this is early relationship so pre-family and pre-married Cleon. I hope it’s angsty enough I kind of got distracted while writing to fight a huge ass hornet in my room ( I was super terrified ngl). This was such a journey for me to write that I don’t even have an official title for it like I normally try to do lol. This has also taught me that I need to work on angst that is not “person A and Person B fight”. Sorry for the rant here's the actual work:

Claire was mad. No, Claire was beyond mad. Claire Redfield was absolutely furious. Her rage was so blinding that she couldn’t even be bothered to apologize to the nice looking doorman as she barreled through the lobby of the apartment building of the object of said anger. She was sorry - felt the apology in her bones as soon as the smaller man began to cringe and cower slightly in her presence - but again, her anger prevented it from passing her lips.

Secretly, she did take a little pride in the fact that, as she entered the elevator, a young-looking couple decided to “wait for the next one” instead of sharing with her. It gave her a little more time to stew in her anger - pulling from the depths of her soul, every time that she had said it was okay even when it wasn’t - before she came face to face with him.

“What the hell Leon!”

The door to his apartment opened with such force that if circumstances had been different, she would have been worried about possibly putting a hole in the wall. Alas, her attention was not on the wall, but instead on the man lying on the couch in front of her. Leon was clearly either drunk or hungover. Although considering what she’d heard from both her brother - half the reason she was here in the first place - there was a distinct possibility it could be both. Claire wasn’t sure that could actually happen, but if anyone could make it a thing it would most definitely be Leon S. Kennedy.

All that came out of his mouth was unintelligible garble mixed in with a few pained groans. Claire took pleasure in that for a moment and allowed it to further stoke the flames inside of her. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was about to do. She’d kind of just gone on autopilot after getting. Chris’s concerned texts. Apparently, Leon had been ghosting everyone over the last week. So, there she stood, upset and silent until Leon made the mistake of finally speaking real words.

“Red,”

Claire didn’t let him finish. She exploded,

“No! You don’t get to do that, you hear me? You don’t!”

Claire moved towards the couch and yanked off the blanket covering Leon with more force than was probably necessary. The blanket had apparently been completely wrapped around him and, in his current state, that was enough to cause him to tumble to the floor. He let out another grunt of pain as he landed but Claire didn’t care.

“Get your ass up.” Her voice had calmed, steadied to an even tone. Her anger no longer manifested itself in yelling, but instead as a low growl behind her words.

When he didn’t make any effort to move, she said it again,

“I’m not asking Leon. Get up.”

He finally did as told. Standing he slowly moved to the small kitchen behind the couch. There he found a glass that looked somewhat cleaned and began to fill it with water.

This wasn’t the first time that Claire had been there to pick up the pieces whenever Leon fell apart. Safe to say, those instances had never quite played out like this one and Leon was a little jarred and, admittedly, a little afraid of what the red-headed woman might do.

They stared at each other as Claire gave Leon a moment to swallow the little bit of water that was left in his glass. When he sat it in the sink and she remained silent he let his impaired brain convince him that meant he should speak.

“What’s your problem? Chris piss in your Wheaties this morning?”

The look on her face caused concern. The laugh that followed chilled him to the core. Leon S. Kennedy had faced down and won so many B.O.Ws that he had lost count but at that moment as he looked across the room at a laughing Claire Redfield, he knew that he had quite possibly signed his death warrant. He also knew that if this truly were how he died, several people would help her cover it up, and frankly, he couldn’t blame them.

“My problem?” she continued to laugh, “What’s my problem?”

Leon was getting a little nervous. In yet another mistake, he even let out a few nerve filled chuckles himself.

“No, you don’t get to laugh! This isn’t funny,” and yet she was still laughing.

Leon was not.

“Do you know why this isn’t funny? Because I don’t think you do.”

He couldn’t have answered even if he wanted to - Claire cut him off as soon as he opened his mouth to fumble through some bullshit excuse.

“You don’t. I know you don’t because if you did you would have had your ass at the restaurant last week, Leon!”

Leon felt his stomach drop. Oh no. He really had fucked up this time.

“Sherry’s birthday.” He felt more than heard the mumbled words slip past his lips.

“Ya, Sherry’s birthday,” Claire turned around to finally close the door and Leon took the opportunity to sit down in one of the few chairs at his tiny kitchen table.

“You know, I was okay with this when it was only me you were fucking over. I know I shouldn’t have been, but I was. I told myself over and over that it was fine, you needed this time, you needed me and I was more than happy to give it to you - everything. I give you everything! But it was okay because you were always there for me too. Most of the time at least. And I get it, Leon, hell I get it more than probably anyone else. What we went through was hell, no one should have to go through that once let alone as many times as you do. But I was there too, I have to deal with that shit too. Sherry has to deal with that shit. She was Twelve Leon.”

“I know -”

“Then where the fuck were you? This was all she wanted! All she asked for for her birthday was for all three of us to be there, together and you couldn’t even get your shit together enough to give that to her. No call, no text, not even a half-assed excuse just nothing. The hurt and disappointment on her face - I’ll never forget that Leon. And to top it off, I had to cover for you and as much as I love you,” she saw that way his whole body seized up at her words, “I’m tired. I refuse to do that anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Claire.”

Claire pulled at her hair which, for once, wasn’t in its usual ponytail.

“Stop! It’s always sorry with you. For once could you just stop!”

“Stop what? Tell me what I have to do to fix this.” He was desperate. He didn’t want to lose her or Sherry. The idea of that - of finally being completely and utterly alone - was almost too much to bear.

“For starters stop making promises if you know you can’t keep them. Stop overcommitting yourself. Stop overworking yourself because that’s always how you get this way in the first place. And stop looking like that.”

“Like what?” he was a little puzzled. He may have also been on the verge of tears but, if anyone asked later he would deny it vehemently.

“Like...like I just killed your puppy or - or like I’m taking away everything from you - it’s making it really hard to stay mad!”

In any other situation, he might have laughed at that but he had sobered up enough between when Claire had burst through his door and now. Now, he really did feel that Claire leaving here like this, Sherry being disappointed with him - that truly was as if everything were being taken away from him.

“I’m sorry. I - I don’t know how to make you believe that I am, but I truly am sorry. I would never hurt you, Claire. I would never hurt Sherry.” He was pleading at his point. He didn’t know what else to do.

“But you did. You hurt us Leon, and I’m not saying that I won’t forgive you, but it’s going to take some time. You fucked up and your usual ‘sorry’ isn’t going to fix it when we always end up in the same cycle again.” She sighed and as the air left her body she could feel all of her anger leaving as well only to be replaced with immense sadness and disappointment.

Claire turned and walked towards the door. A small clang echoed through the silent room and, although Leon couldn’t see from his spot in the kitchen, he knew that Claire had dropped her spare key on the table next to the door.

“Wait! Claire, please, don’t.”

“Don’t what Leon?” She didn’t turn around, she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave if she did. So, head down she gathered her strength and continued,

“Don’t leave? Give me a reason to stay then.”

“ I love you.” It came out in a soft whisper.

Those three simple words - the first time he had ever said them to her in a non-platonic way. They made her heart soar and ache, both at the same time. She’d imagined this moment a lot but never like this. Never at the end of a fight that had been building for a long time. Never with her back to him, preparing to leave. Never with him sitting in his kitchen, a mess, crying in a way she’d never seen from him. Never like this. And, as much as she wanted to stay…

“ I love you too Leon. But that’s not what this is about. Call Sherry, she deserves to hear from you why you couldn’t do this one thing for her.”

With that, she left. With her, Leon felt a part of him leave as well.

The tears turned to outright sobs as he collapsed on his kitchen floor - dirty. The floor was dirty. He was dirty. He hadn’t cleaned or showered in a while but it was kind of fitting. His apartment was dirty, his clothes were dirty, his body was dirty but he was dirty in a way that was deeper than just the physical sense.

He’d let them down. The only two people in this world that he still gave a damn about. The only two people he would try for.

Then why hadn’t he? Why hadn’t he pushed himself harder? In the same sense, why hadn’t he taken a break when he had pushed too hard. Why hadn’t he tried harder to stop her? Why hadn’t he?

There were too many questions. If he left himself to ponder them for too long he’d never get up from this dirty kitchen floor and he couldn’t afford to stay here forever. He had business to attend to, phone calls to make.

First, to his job. Claire was right, he needed to stop overworking himself and he’s acquired more than enough hours to take some time off. Then, to Sherry, because he owed her an apology in more than just words. He only hoped she would allow him to make it up to her.

He wanted to call Claire - show her he was trying, that she was right and he would do better. However, he knew that would probably only make things worse. She always gave him the time he needed, now it was time for him to do the same.

But before anything, he had to get up off the floor. The floor was dirty. He was dirty. Leon was tired of the blood and grime that seemed to fill almost all of his waking hours as D.S.O Agent Kennedy. He decided he wouldn’t let it follow him home anymore. So, Leon got up.

On his way to the bathroom he passed by the bowl he kept on his front table by the door. It was a housewarming gift from Claire who knew he was always misplacing his keys and yet never making an effort to get more organized. Always looking out for him, his Claire.

Leon wouldn’t even let himself question if there even was a ‘his Claire’. Not that he owned her, no one could ever own Claire Redfield. But, looking at the two keys laying together in the bowl, Leon couldn’t help but think they were the same - a matching set. One complementing the other in a way that, while they were separate, they were still part of the same.

Yes, Leon Kennedy got up and as he looked at his dirty face in the mirror, he turned the faucet on because he was tired of being dirty. He was ready to get clean.

#Cleon #Cleon fic #Leon Kennedy #Claire Redfield #claire x leon #Claire/Leon #angst #resident evil #i wanna make my angst better so please hang with me until i do #sry for the long wait #sry again for the long ass rant at the beginning im super tired and it's kinda late but I wanted to post anyway #lol i'm doing it again

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thesolotomyhan · 4 years

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Narcos México: Dating them would include: (7/7)

ok, i was too lazy to fully edit so please forgive me if this is actually trash :((

Tags: @fandomnerd16 , @visintaes , @sheeshgivemeabreak

Warnings: NSFW!

Güerito is the softest out of everyone, a KING, you two are just so damn cute together

The most loving and affectionate relationship, im crying

Your relationship is the most talked about among everyone, the it couple from sinaloa,,,

he’s so hopelessly in love with you,,, his heart would just melt when you simply tell him you love him-

like, there is never a moment where you two are mad at each other, you’re always seen smiling and giving each other the biggest heart eyes anyone has ever witnessed- i cant,

Wherever Hector needs to make an appearance, like at a party, he’s arriving with you because there’s no Güero Palma without you-

his forehead kisses are the best

would give you them before he has to go talk business with a socio at a party and leave you with chapo or cochi

It makes him comfortable to leave you with them because he knows they’ll protect you with their lives if they have to-

“Ahorita regreso, mi cielo, si ocupas algo, avisale a Chapo, eh? No me tardo”

I cant, the way he softly speaks to you is everything,,,

he also probably looks over every 5 minutes to make sure you’re doing alright without him,,,

He’s always holding your hand - im crying

He’ll intertwine your hands and bring them to his lips to kiss your hand-

Or he’ll bring your intertwined hands to his chest, over his heart and caress your face with the other hand,,,

“este corazon es solo de ti, mi amor” i-

ok I keep thinking about the way Güerito would look at you at all times, everyday,,

The lovesick puppy look is everything,-

He could also talk about you for hours because holy shit do you have him tied down-

, nothing makes him smile brighter than seeing you get along with Chapo and Cochi, even though they tend to endlessly tease the both of you-

“Bueno, cuando piensan ustedes hacer chiquito güeritos y güeritas, pues? Pinche, Chapito ya quiere ser un padrino”-

The little look Güero throws at you when you blush and smile up at him after Cochi said that-

Honestly, Cochi and Chapo would probably be so escandalosos the day you announce your pregnancy, i-

The sinaloa family grows :))

I just know, Hector has a framed photo of you two on his desk🥺,,,

He’ll just stare at your face when he’s beginning to stress out and remind himself that he’s doing it for you,, so he can keep you happy-

My heart--, Hector gives me hardcore old school vibes, like even though you’re married, he’s always giving you the biggest bouquet of roses he can find before every. single. date.

The tiny little smile he has as he stands there when he sees your eyes light up-

“Para ti mi amor, te los escogí yo mismo” fuck

, When he takes you out to eat, he’s holding your hand from across the table, running his thumb over your knuckles-

, this man is giving you his undivided attention when you talk and giving you the most adoring smile, im dying-

ok Güero would totally be the one to take you to a “mini” date after your date

Like, he’ll take you to the neveria or even buy you 6 different antojitos for you to share with him -im sobbing

I cant even imagine how his heart would literally break whenever he sees you upset, automatically thinking what he did wrong to make you sad :(

“Mi cielo, que paso? No llores, dime, que hice” I- :(((

just the way he holds you and lets you cry into him-

ohh,, if someone hurted you, he would personally shoot up all of sinaloa if he has to in order to make you feel safe again-

He would go through hell and back just to make it up to you and see you smile,,,,

He also definitely tries his best to shield you from the business, but he can’t help but rant to you about everything that goes on

, I feel like he’ll rant to you about the time Chapo suggested his tunnel idea and hector is just over here rambling about how tf he’s going to find another way through tijuana

Its not until you speak up about maybe considering chapo’s idea, like you mention something about “por lo que me dices, no se van dar cuenta los de tijuana, mucho menos porque nadie piensa buscar abajo de tierra, hector”

Güero just pauses and looks at you, because??? You just said it so nonchalantly and made the idea make sense to him? all while making champurrado like the queen you are-

“Intelligente, mi preciosa, verdad?” as he comes up to you and tilts your face to kiss you,,

ooh the two of you making food together has my heart dying,-

domestic-hector can have my whole fucking soul,,

SoftCuddles in the morning and before bed, he would pull you on top of him and give you so many kisses on your face, your happy laughter just makes him so weak, I-

NSFW:

alright right off the bat, this man loves receiving blowjobs from you, like not only because it lowers his stress levels, but also just the way you look,, makes him hard,

when your on your knees for him, your mouth filled with his cock, and the sounds that fill up the room,,i - he has that view ingrained into his memory,,

cada vez que se encabrone, your already unbuckling his pants to help him relax in his chair at his office-

he’ll stare as you go down on him, letting out a deep low groans,-

“Un pinche angel que dios me mando, verdad mi cielo?”

as he holds the side of your face, slowly thrusting into your mouth-ok

this is going to lead into office sex, im sorry im not making the rules here

it just excites him having you lay on his workspace, gripping the desk and biting your lips to keep quiet as he pounds into you,

“no hagas ruido mi amor, yo se que puedes aguantar”

the one thing he hates about office sex tho is having to be quick because he doesn’t want to risk someone finding you naked on his desk with his cock inside of you-

and yet, you two are so good at hiding any noises that could lead to suspicion he’s banging you in his office,,

but he’s literally so shit at hiding the evidence, like, his hair and outfit are so out of place, there’s a fresh hickey on his neck and your panties were left on the floor,,

“Güero, no chingues, son las nueve de la mañana, cabron, no te podrías esperar?”

Cochi and Chapo would give him so much shit, pero le vale

ok at home though, i feel like Güero is a mix of desperate and slow, like he’ll desperately smother you in kisses, wanting to get you out of your clothes as soon as possible,,

But once he has you laid out on the bed, he’s slowing down, taking his time, worshiping you

He needs to make you feel good before he can even think about himself,, you can fight me if you don’t think this man loves going down on you

es apasionado el cabron, he’s looking up at you while he’s in between your thighs, probably has his hands wandering up your body as you cry out for him, letting you move your hips on his face -dammit

the way he’ll kiss your inner thighs when he’s done, i-

ok my soft bby needs to see your face when you have sex, he admires the way you respond to his thrusts-

i know hector would lay his forehead on yours, cooing how good youre being for him as he gently holds your face and do those slow but rough thrusts-

or he’ll plant one of his hands on your stomach, pounding into you, thinking about how beautiful you would look swole this his kid, im sorry

dont look at me, that is one of his many goals ok, quiere una familia, he goes rock hard just thinking about knocking you up-

alright, can you imagine surprising him when he comes home after a long day to see you wearing lingerie, his mind just goes blank when he sees you walk up to him

“no estoy muerto, verdad?”

his hands are automatically holding your waist as you laugh up to him, pulling him along to your bedroom,,

“no, nomas queria recordarte cuanto te amo” ,- ohh

ok-i laugh at this scenario,, but, Cochi probably teases güero non stop when he’s mad and yells at his workers

like, he’ll wander up to güero who’s fuming, a death glare in his eyes and cochi just smugly saying,

“Quieres que llamo tu mujer para que te pueda chupar a la verga?”

Güero just throws him an annoyed look, like are you being fr right now? “Callate, pendejo”

but the next day he arrives with like 15 orders of tacos for everyone with a smile and Chapo would probably be the next to call him out,,

“Que Güero, tuvistes una buena noche? Le dices a tu mujer que gracias de parte de todos aqui” ,,,

guero wouldnt even be mad at that point, probably gives them a little smile because el si tiene mujer que lo cuida-

god, riding güero, sign me tf up

this is where he’ll help you tear your clothes off on top of him and give you deep kisses that leave you breathless, helping you grind on him

he’ll wrap his arms around you and deeply thrust into you with no warning, making you throw your head back

kissing your neck as he feels you try to vigorously bounce on him, while you run your hands through his hair,,

His hands would be everywhere, one minute their grasping your ass the next he has them running all over back,,

fuck, when he grips your hips to hold you still on top of him as he roughly thrusts into you,,i-

GraBbinG his necklace, like tangling it in between your hands to tightly grasp something when he makes you shout his name- wow

#narcos mexico imagine #narcos mexico imagines #narcos imagine #hector palma salazar #el guero #hector palma x reader #narcos mexico #narcos: mexico #narcos #also im big sad theres no gifs para mi guero #is he underrated? yes :(

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r6s-imagines · 5 years

Note

Your writing is so good but the Spetznaz KIA ones have me in so much pain ;w; Can I request another set but with close calls instead?

thank you so much! i was honestly debating making it all a close call but i needed the a n g s t in my life so i couldn’t resist! i hope this satisfies you!!

spetsnaz preference >> close calls

•••

requested: yes! thank you for being the first request!

warnings: cursing, mild gore

•••

summary: how do the members of spetsnaz react to your near-death experience?

•••

kapkan

his initial first date idea was to go hunting with him

you’d been around too many gadgets and people, he’d say. you two needed some time alone not just discussing trapped entryways and peeking corners

“maxim!” you called. “i’ve got tracks, it looks big!”

he was proud of you, for learning under his guidance, he trusted you with his life and vice versa

the winter air whipped at his face, yet he never faltered

he knew the land, the struggles, the weather. he knew to act slow.

you didn’t.

you knew better than to assume things from being in the field of work you were in

but you happened to assume a flurry of thunderous steps were maxim’s

you turned around, gun holstered and ready to lead the russian

a frothing, wild pack of wolves presented themselves, poised and ready to strike

you remained still

unable to call out

the alpha lurched forward, snapping its grand jaws to your face

you shielded your neck as it took hold of your arm instead

biting to the bone, you screamed

another wolf snagged your leg, attempting to drag you to their hideout

BANG!

the pain remaining but the pressure gone, you opened one eye

maxim was panting, staring at you with a grand concern

helicopters wouldn’t be able to land here, he thought. she’ll bleed out waiting.

he apologized profusely and swooped you around his shoulders, carrying you as a soldier would to your open-aired base camp

he packed just enough material to apply pressure and prevent immediate infection

you found immediate treatment and spent the next days in a hospital bed, maxim not once leaving your side

he’d joke about how cool he was during the ordeal

“you’re lucky i found you when i did, i don’t know how you got caught like that.”

“maxim, you looked like you passed away that moment you found me.”

he won’t admit it, but he has dreams of you dying from that event and wakes up in cold sweats

fuze

you ever have one of those moments where your dad yells at you for having the flashlight positioned wrong while he fixes a car?

that’s shuhrat

“the flathead, please. no, that’s the torx.”

he was determined to upgrade his cluster charges

“if i pinpoint the solution, these things will stick to any detection of life.”

you’d pester him with questions, inquiring about each part and function

“if you could please let me focus, y/n. you’re being no use to me right now.”

dick.

your pettiness caused you to retrieve the wrong tool again, setting off fuze’s frustration

he slammed his tools down, giving you a look

“if you’d just lis—“ he slammed the table with his fist

he hadn’t meant to threaten you

but there was no time to apologize

his fragile creation bursted to life, setting off a barrage of explosive chips

he was close enough for the launch to not affect him

but you bailed out of fear

and you ended up right in the line of fire

in miliseconds, you were on the ground, your right leg bent in ways neither of you have seen

you foot was pretty much absent

luckily for you, this mishap occurred on site

fuze immediately called for medical attention, sending everyone in a flurry

you were wheeled off to the medical offices

your leg was beyond saving

but you’d live

shuhrat refuses to forgive himself for nearly killing you

as he’s setting off his new charges during work, he can’t help but flash to the sight of you bleeding on his own workshop floor

twitch creates a multifunction prosthetic exclusively for you

shuhrat helps you through every physical therapy session

no amount of assistance could ever make him forgive himself, though.

tachanka

you can’t tell me his lmg isn’t a serious hazard to everyone around him

imagine the number of crossfire casualties if missions were treated the way they are in a casual match

you were a newer recruit, scoping out an already familiar objective point

you peeked a corner after pinging an attacker

unfortunately, so did alex

his few bullets penetrated your flesh, sending you to the ground

“what the FUCK, man!”

if you weren’t about to bleed out he’d probably make a joke about cockblocking or the like.

“hey, hey, look at me,” he’d say, dragging you by the waist to an unbreachable corner. “i’ve got you.”

he helped you up, and you immediately fell back down

so much for your first day going well

doc did what he could, applying bandaging and providing a long-lasting adrenaline boost

you refused to look the old man in the eye after that point

“what kind of loud, obnoxious russian shoots his coworker on her first day?”

just as you’re ranting to doc as he redressed your shoulder, a knock on his office door takes your attention

alex is standing there, stiff and uncomfortable, much to doctor kateb’s surprise

“is there something you need, senaviev?”

he’d uncomfortably gesture to you

doc nodded and left you two alone for a moment once securing the wound

“so much for a first impression, no?” he laughed awkwardly. you returned with a frustrated glare

“i must have been caught off guard by your beauty. i hope you can forgive me.”

huh?

“you say this to every woman?” you asked, unamused.

“only the ones i shoot.”

you two spend the next few days joking and bonding in your room

he tells stories and jokes to distract you from the pain

which causes you pain from laughing too hard

maybe he’s not so careless after all?

glaz

his signature weapon has some severe kick only a professional can handle

well, maybe not a professional

timur is the only one to really know the behavior of his sniper

so when he offers for you to try it in your spare time, he’s hesitant despite being the one to initiate the idea

he noticed how marveled you were at his patience and steadiness, you almost doubted it was his actual skill and just the gun instead

the two of you were in a shooting range with target about 90m away

“aim high, the bullet drops no matter what distance,” he’d explain, reaching around you and under your arm to tilt his gun up with a finger.

you rolled your shoulders and closed one eye

“and don’t forget that—“

BANG!

he wasn’t kidding when he said the recoil will knock anyone on their ass

because you were on your ass

with a very broken nose

and a bleeding head

you managed to launch yourself so far back, the back of your head cracked against a shelf

if timur didn’t step slightly to the side, you’d have a clean head

but he initially wanted to watch you misfire and jump back from the kick

but he couldn’t have predicted for it to send you that far

he helped you up and you were set on a chair, head leaning back

glaz didn’t know which spot to handle first, the severe nose pain or heavily bleeding skull

his hands moved frantically to check for additional issues

“keep your head forward,” he mumbled, knowing the impact gave you delicate senses

you followed his suggestion, watching the blood soak onto your lap

he produced a rag from his pocket, holding the back of your head with one hand and your nose with his other

you looked up at him, still facing downward, and smiled, blood staining your teeth

“i’m okay,” you said

you weren’t

once the bleeding scabbed over slightly, you were relocated to the medical wing

you had a severe concussion and needed an entire bag of blood

boy, does timur feel like a dumbass

his personal game could’ve taken your life

whenever you look in the mirror, you smiled at your crooked nose

“timur, remember when—“

“yes.”

he doesn’t want to talk about it

he gets embarrassed

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cooloddball · 5 years

Text

DESTIEL AND COCKLES RANT

THIS IS A RANT ON ALL THINGS DESTIEL AND COCKLES

PS. I do not know how to make gifs and or use photos yet so feel free to add yours

I have said this before and I will say it again. I have been in this fandom for a month and I ship Destiel and Cockles anyone who has a problem with this then move along and/or if you are an anti and read this, keep your hateful comments to yourself.

That being said, I have read about almost all ships in the fandom but mostly Destiel, Cockles, Wincest, and J2. Through all the reading and discovery, I still have to say I ship Cockles and Destiel more than ever before. However, I have seen some things from the antis that did not sit well with me.

This is going to be a long post so brace yourself and it is mostly about the hate the antis (anti-cockles, anti-wives , and anti-Destiel Shippers spread). Also this is a rant so don’t mind me,

ON DESTIEL

The hate on Destiel is massive. Mostly this is from Bronlies who hate Cas like he is the anti-Christ, and the Wincest shippers.

Now I am not trying to rain on anyone’s parade but come on. Cas is Dean’s best friend. Whether you ship them romantically or not, it is canon that Cas Dean’s best friend. We have seen time and again how miserable Dean is every time Cas dies. Dea has also expressly stated that Cas is his best friend and even said they are better together; all three of them including Sam. He has called him his family. So why the hate? Chuck himself has said that he has rebuilt Cas more times than anyone.

Now, people who believe that it is better to ship Sam and Dean who are literally blood brother but it is not okay to ship Dean and Cas what is wrong with you? Is it okay for someone to fuck their brother and/or be in love with them? I mean come on.

Before I was even a shipper, I always looked forward to episodes that Cas was in. He brought a different dynamic to the show in a positive way. Yes, I love the brothers but Cas is just deifferent and all the sass he brings makes the show, at least to me 10 times better. Sue me.

People saying that JA would never be comfortable with Destine because he is a Christian. I mean, he can call Chuck a dick, call angels dicks, make deals with demons and all other unchristian things but kissing another man is where he draws the line? If he was such a Christian, why does he let another man straddle him on stage or want to kill God?

Someone once said that JA supports wincest. I saw the video and I get what he said is that whatever floats your boat or something like that. So why is it so hard for him when it comes to Destiel? I don’t understand this man. He is a paradox.

ON COCKLES

I have seen antis, mostly those who ship J2 throw shade at MC saying that JA doesn’t like him, he just tolerates him and everything they do is for PR. I have not once seen anyone say that JP doesn’t like MC. You know why? I believe they view MC as a threat to their J2 ship.

So I stumbledupon this antis blog who had a whole analysis (much like am doing here) on why JA cannot be a couple. Here are some that I remember from the top of my head:

1. That JA said that he thinks Matt Bomer is attractive.

2. That JA moved to Austin to be live next to JP.

3. That JA and MC have nothing in common being that JA plays golf and sings etc and that MC does woodwork, writes poetry and bicycle touring.

4. That JA is with JP hence no. 2.

5. That JA does not curse on stage but MC does.

6. That MC does not take acting seriously but JA does.

Now now now. This beats logic. All the above things I beg to differ with not because I am cockles shipper but it is just common sense.

Being with someone or rather being in love with someone does not mean any of the above things have to be true. Hear me out.

1. On finding Matt Bomer attractive. I have many celebrity crushes, there are also ordinary people that I find attractive. But then again, I have a boyfriend, who I am in love with; I have been with for six years. But he looks nothing like my celebrity crushes or the ordinary people I find attractive. Does that mean I am not in love with him? No. It means I have eyes and I can appreciate beauty and have a few fantasies but I chose to be with him because I love him. He also has other people he finds attractive that look nothing like me, does that mean he does not love me? I mean come on.

Oh the most hilarious thing is that the anti said you cannot compare Matt to MC since Matt is way attractive. I mean come on; they may not look alike but they both have dark hair, blue eyes. Seriously people! And MC is so handsome and adorable at the same time. Sometimes I feel like he looks better than JA and JP. Sue me.

2. On JA moving to Austin. Lol. This means that he went to live next to his best friend. I mean come on. I have moved to live next to my best friend (bff) who is married. Does that mean I am in love with her? Hell no! But I feel safer knowing that she is there for me.

Also people need to understand, MC and JA could be involved romantically or not (pick your poison) but you don’t need to be next to your lover to love them or be in a relationship with them. Lond distance relationships anyone? They have families and kids and other priorities. Just because you are in a relationship with someone does not necessarily mean you live together or evn in the same area. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and also they are where they are now because of other priorities in their lives. So, living together or in the same town doesn’t make you more or less in love.

3. On the issue of common interests. This made me laugh so hard. I mean comeon, People who are together do not need to share any interests. The diversity of their interests is probably what attracted them to each other. Also how can you say a poet and a singer have nothing in common? They are artists. MC can write poems that JA can sing. Oh also remember that video MC’s friend DM posted on Twitter where they did the whole bicycle touring in Germany? Uh huh? JA seemed to be interested in that a lot. So..

4. I could say a lot about JA being with Jp. This J2 being married and their wives being beards is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Seriously, J2 tinhats have gone ahead to hate of D’s posts and call her names. Telling her to stop pretending that she is JA. It is laughable and not in a nice way, really. Can they just stop? Before I became a cockles shipper I watched J2 videos where they interact be it cons, red carpet moments or even gag reels. It is just different. All I see are two bros; one that is really playful like a little puppy and the other one trying to be the big brother. As for JA and MC, it is different, there are things that JA is comfortable when Mc does that he is not comfortable when JP does them. Neck kisses for a start.

Also most of the J2 tinhats evidence about J2 being real is rarely backed up by visual evidence and if there is any, it is usually from years ago. I am not hating on antis, just stating facts.

5. I mean, cursing on stage really? I curse all the time my bf doesn’t. Does that mean he doesn’t like me or love me? Hell to the Fucking No! Suck it!

6. On Mc not taking acting seriously. Yeah I can guess why he doesn’t. It is not his only priority unlike JA who has chosen it as a career path. From what I have seen, MC’s priorities include making the world a better place through charities, politics, and oh, he is also a writer. Oh so forgive him if he is not obsessed with acting. Besides JA says that he likes how he acts as Cas because it is not like anything he has seen from other guest stars that have come on the show. I mean not being serious about something does not mean that you are not good at it. Would he have lasted 11 seasons if he was not good at what he does?

There was also hate that JA is only around MC for PR and he actually hates him. There were some photos and gifs so the apparent hate. So, if he cannot stand him, why is there so much evidence of JA going to MC to give some love, Neck kisses, intimate IG posts, face caresses, ass smacks, calling him his baby dadfy, heart eyes, even when they don’t know that they are being filmed?

Also why is it during the Vegascon 2020 all JA did was bring up MC unnecessarily even when no one, absolutely nobody asked him to. Come on! stop the bs and admit that Cockles is the realest ship in the history of ships!!

ON THE WIVES

I swear bitches be crazy. How can you just hat someone for literally nothing? This is mostly from J2 tinhats at other J2 stans who do not ship J2 together romantically. I mean…comeon. You do not need to be a stan for the wives just because they are married to J2 but please stop with the madness.

I recently saw someone comment on various JA posts on IG asking why he is lying to the fans that he is with D when he is with JP. So many rude things have been said about the wives especially D that it breaks my heart.

Seiously? People have gone ahead even to say that she is with JA’s friend SC and that the twins are not JA’s they are SC’s since D and SC are ‘always’ hanging out together. My question is, so D is not supposed to hang out with their friends? And for Chuck’s sake, everyone can see that the twins especially the boy (idk their names, sorry) looks like JA’s twin. I mean come on people.

I believe that they hate D because she says how much she loves MC and that Cas is her favorite character and that they are also bitter that JA chose her and not them. Just my opinion, but what do I know. On JP and G. I don’t know much about them mostly because I do not follow either of them of IG or elsewhere but I have seen hate on G as well.

The antis have gone ahead to say that when JA said that he was hanging out with SC writing songs, that he was lying and that nothing was happening he was just trying to dampen the rumours. I wonder how they felt when the album by JA and Sc came out last year. Jokes on you haters. Bitches be crazy fr.

Oh, the antis also say that the same way JA looks at his wife is the same way he looks at MC. With contempt. I mean talk about hanging yourself with your own rope. What they are saying is, JA feels about his wife the same way he feels abouts MC. Aww! That is true love bitches.

If JA actually cannot stand MC, shouldn’t he have gotten him fired from the show or at least make sure he gets less screen time and that they don’t have any panels together being that JA is the star of the show and all. I mean Mark left and he was a major character to the plot so...

Also why would JA give and buy MC clothes if he hates him? Give him a ring, a bracelet? Huh? Explain it to me.

Oh, some anti also said that before every Cockles panel at JIBCON JA cries and has to be forced on stage by Daniella and JP has to give him a hug and that’s why he drinks a lot of apple juice. LOL. WTF? What do you say to such people. I cannot even..My question is, are we talking about the same Cockles panels that I have seen? Then JA deserves all the Oscars and Tony Awards for his impeccable acting skills when he is around MC. Must really hate him. *wink*

MY TWO CENTS ON COCKLES

I know JA gives off mixed actions about MC. But I think it is to confuse people like us, shippers. He does’t want to too out there so he tries so hard to be mean with his words. But his actions tell a different story. I mean, who gets a boner when their friend straddles them on stage and then goes ahead to post that chest to chest selfie on IG. That is the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Sharing clothes? I mean friends do share clothes but if it is like a daily thing. More than 20 articles of clothing exchanged between each other on various occasions even when they are apart does not make sense to me. And to make matters worse, JA does not deny it. One even had a tag on it. Lol. We are not children, we can see what is going on.

The 2014 DallasCon – Rob’s Birthday Party. WTF? Was all that between JA and MC? Why did he he swallow and react like that when he saw MC’s bare abdomen? Who does that? Also the looks when MC was leaving the stage. Come on.

Also what was up with the” I love you from the bottom of my heart” at the MTV top 10 in 2010.

The wife is my rock but I am glad to have some pebbles in my life.

Truth is, JA could post a video of him balls deep in MC and the antis could say that somehow MC manipulated JA to post it for PR.

People need to leave MC alone, he ie a human being who has made mistakes, JA and JP have too and I don’t see the antis hating on them. The double Standard s FOH.

I could write about this forever but the truth is JA loves MC, and D and V know that they love each other. All their friends know including JP and other castmates. I believe they know it is more than just friends and the antis can’t stand it because they also know it to be true.

JA LOVES MC. JP LOVES MC. J2M LOVE EACH OTHER. J2 LOVE THEIR WIVES. STOP THE HATE!!

I am not done but I am done for now. I could be here forever writing about this if I do not stop.

#destiel #cockles #cockles is real #cockles csi #stop the hate #antis are mean

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gothamstreetcat · 4 years

Note

okay, now im curious, you can go off here, i dont mind! (if you want to, of course)

VLAD! oh my gosh, okay.

*tw if you totally like barbara. please don’t read this. contains mild mentions of child abuse*

i’m not sure i know the best way to begin this semi-long rant. first off, i never really liked barbara (which is kind of a rant for another time) and this falls into one of the reasons why:

(this is taking me so long to even start this because i’m not sure exactly what i’m trying to say, I’m so sorry...)

in many ways barbara clearly makes selina uncomfortable during this scene. in addition she comes off as rude, out of line, and little inappropriate and even manipulative if i’m being totally honest. to me, selina clearly seems off-put by barbara’s drinking habits (in what seems to be the start off the day) while she’s expressing wanting to leave. and while i don’t completely think the two things are connected, it is interesting to have them both in the same scene as such. this being linked to barbara (in-current) going through a hard time and dabbling a little back into past addictions--something i do not think selina is unfamiliar with (i’d get into it but it involves a lot of talk on my own brain/thoughts and feeling but doesn't necessarily go with the show).

the second issue i have here is the way barbara spoke to selina. i’m sure barbara said what she said with a decent heart but i almost feel like she has no business telling selina “she’s growing into quite the young women.” she shouldn’t really be saying that to someone she just met and yes, perhaps i am going off the rails just slightly but the things she proceeded to say following that makes me feel uncomfortable. think (if you would) if it were a grown man to tell selina that? or clyde? because he really came off to me like a child predator or someone that had pictures of young kids stashed away in a drawer somewhere--but hi, i’m getting off topic.

when she told selina “removed the dirt, that old hood, those ratty clothes... i bet we find a princess underneath..” it truly burns me to my core because on one hand, you’re telling selina she’s a pretty face but then picking apart everything she is. almost as if barbara could only see the same street girl that other people saw and maybe see some bit of potential in her yet it felt like barbara only saw the potential of a pretty face. telling her, her appearance could be a weapon that ‘no man could refuse” that is something pimps say.

perhaps, it would be something different if it was barabra speaking to her own child however, selina is not her child. selina is someone she just met. selina is a homeless girl who spent many years learning to survive on the streets. and selina is a pretty girl who has probably be told so by many kinds of people... so please forgive me when i say barbara’s world make me uncomfortable. because i start to remember this scene and i remember a grown woman who was down on her luck and trying to manipulate these young kids into something she wishes she could be. trying to make them what she missed out on, or maybe she lacked, perhaps trying to teach them a “skill” but going about it the entire wrong way--because at the end of it all barabra was the adult in the situation and selina and ivy were just young kids. and there were so many cases in this show where the adults failed the children, and yes, selina is not perfect yet she was a child who was lost and confused and forced to grow up too quick and the adults who knew better used that as a way to benefit them.

(now, lucky for me selina told barbara to take her sequence dress and shove it)

in addition to this, barbara twice reached out and touched selina without permission. first, she reached out to touch selina’s hair which is a little creepy but you could also see how uncomfortable selina was by it (**which is why your grey-ish gifs of this moment hit me hard). and this may just be me but when i see that bit i can’t help but feel there is a deeper meaning behind it. secondly, she removes her hood in front of the mirror and is telling her all this stuff (and to keep it on the light side i want to crack a joke here, if that’s cool with you and say that looks can’t actually kill, but a knife or gun definitely can--but okay barbara)

i mean, not to be a bitch but ivy could have been a nice girl sailing with other nice girls but she really had to take advice from this one...

now, i’m not trying to be biased but i do want to point out the difference’s between how bruce see’s selina vs how barbara see’s selina. i’ve already talked how barbara clearly see’s selina but let’s remember bruce’s reaction when seeing selina for the first time.

first, he was clearly taken by her (love a first sight, if you will). he even looked at her from her head to her toes and you could tell he thought she was the most beautiful girl he ever saw--dirt and all. he then proceeded to put out his hand for her to take if she wanted to. something no one had probably done before that day, and not only that but bruce was interested in knowing who she was following that initial encounter (i made a little post about it here i wasn’t sure if i should share because the gifs are ugly but i love seeing bruce play with his fingers when he’s nervous)(he was so dead-ass excited when he was asking her questions about herself like living on the street because it was for science and not because he was totally in love with her or anything, he swears). i also want to point out the many times selina asked for his consent before she kissed him--something i was not initially in favor of however, i think it is so important that it be said for both bruce and selina; as i believe that knowledge in selina potentially comes from someplace and i think it is just as important for males to give content as much as females.

lastly, bruce could always see selina’s protential and he always made that clear. he saw her potential to be a good person and a better version of herself and it’s one of the things i love about him because he believes so deeply in this other human being when no one else would, or they just saw her as a pretty face. bruce didn’t point out her ratty clothes, he merely pointed out how she didn’t come with much and if she wanted he’d be happy to help her get more. he mentioned it was ‘strange’ her comment about his academics which (again, i could be going off the rails) tells me he sees her potential and finds it odd that she wouldn’t want to develop it--if that makes sense?

*full disclaimer that it is not my intentions to take away from anyones gifs by saying all these things. i think you all are amazing and i love your gifs and i will totally reblog them. his is just how i feel and sometimes it’s hard because i think i shouldn’t speak the way i feel and i have to hold my hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming. i feel like i’m holding onto this dark secret that i just cant tell anyone but this is honestly something that has been weighing on me for a very long time. i don’t feel as though i’m wrong in the things i said and i believe there is more to unpack.

regardless, thank you for letting me share.

p.s i think i got lost in talking about bruce. the wheels are still running but the train is down. i am so sorry. love you

#link to the video i kept referencing is in the source #let it be known i think that blue in your gif set is on fire #and no one better hurry to put it out #she gorgeous #also. i'm super sorry if this is messy #i have a hard time speaking about intense topics #thanks for coming to my ted-talk #i don't think i need to add this but just in case for when i feel guilty about it later #this is not a criticism At All over your gifset #i think it is gorgeous and i will never shut up over that blue #i wish i was that gorgeous #this is honestly kinda hard for me to talk about it's crazy #and do know i'm really glad you made that set #asks #asks: vlad #shout-out to all the asks i've gotten lately. i love you all and i'll see you soon

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spadesinglasses · 4 years

Text

Agents of SHIELD (Series)

I finally finally finished the series. Figured a reaction post would be nice to air out all my sentimentality about the show.

Disclaimer btw, throughout this post, I would be writing shit that I hate. It might include character hate from specific situations to seasons. If you don’t want to read people hating on your fave characters, click away. If you want to change my mind about my hate, please just move on, we’ll just be wasting each other’s time.

Years ago I stopped watching AoS around season 5 episode 3.

Just this week I decided to pick it up again from the start. It was a roller coaster of emotion. From having to go through Season 1 again and how different they all are, dealing with Grant and the other arcs.

I’ve rewritten this post so many times now. One time I would be writing so much, even doing it per season only to delete it all and do it per arc, only to again delete it all and start over again.

I don’t know anymore how to write this down. But ya know what, I’ve never been that serious or technical with my reactions. So i might as well just whine about it lol.

So here ya go, a rant.

In my blog I gifed a total of 3 scenes for AoS.

The Spy’s Goodbye.

Hive and Lincoln’s death.

and Enoch’s death.

A lot of scenes made me sob like a fatherfucker but these three was too much.

The Spy’s goodbye scene was a bittersweet good bye. Not seeing Bobbi and Lance anymore was such a devastating reality, but it’s good to know that at least they do not die or sth tragic like what they did to Triplett.

Hive and Lincoln’s death was devastating in a way I wasn’t expecting. Daisy’s acting during that scene was fucking too much. THAT SHIT HURT. Lincoln’s sacrifice was something of an expected scene but god does it not have to be like that.

ALSO Hive just taking it all in, letting his death be is the most unexpected thing there. To him just saying that he just wanted connection, to make the world better was fucking sad. I understand what he said, Lincoln did too.

Enoch’s death was fucking unappreciated.

His death was silent, he died without his best friend by his side, without Jemma, without even Deke. No, he was left with Daisy and Coulson who if I remember correctly, didn’t even have that much scene with him.

And how he just accepted it and understand that It was a necessary sacrifice was soo fucking bad.

HIS LINE ABOUT ANY OF THEM SACRIFICING THEIR LIFE FOR HIM? AND HIM JUST WAS SO SURE ABOUT IT? IT HURT BECAUSE ITS A LIE.

Y’all can tell me how the crew can do that sacrifice for Enoch, but it won’t change my mind. None of them barely even tried to understand Enoch in more ways than what was just presented in front of them.

Maybe its the curse of being a minor/side character, but that shit was sad. I wonder if that sentence was more for himself, to comfort himself in his death than him being confident about it.

Again, y’all can fight me about it, tell me off how wrong I am but nope nope nope.

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warning : Mackenzie Daisy Hate

Now I can’t exactly remember what season or arc it was anymore. If it was during the lighthouse with the kree arc, or after or before, but damn Mackenzie really pissed me off.

His hypocritical holier than thou attitude pissed me so much. He’s a conflicting mess that adjusts his morality based on what’s in front of him. Everyone going against Elena was a fucking hard pill to take because she really was in a different sphere compare to where the others are.

I see her as doing her best to fit in with the group but unfortunately she didn’t just have that same experience with the others to be on the same wavelength as them.

Coulson agreeing with her was a small comfort. But Daisy and Mack and May? Dang that shit hurt.

There was a season where Daisy and Mackenzie annoyed the fuck out of me. I couldn’t stand a scene with them on it. I just can’t remember it much. I think it was after the framework scene.

Now that I finished the entire series, looking back to it, it’s not exactly OOC of them to act that way. But it sure was hell annoying and just ugh.

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warning : Fitz Hate

This portion would be ranting about how sucky Fitz became after his trauma. I’m not even technically talking about what Fitz did to Daisy with her limiter and his whole “Oh Dark Fitz is doing all this bad shit, oh no wait its me all along” schtick.

I’m talking about how he responded to Deke throughout the series.

He was shitty to him. I’m not sure if its because of his immature ass, his fucking issues with Nazi Fitz, or whatever. He was shitty.

Deke did his best to connect with Fitz in anyway possible, DEKE IS STUCK IN A GODDAMN WORLD HE DOESN’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT, A SIMPLE SOFT WORLD EVEN COMPARE TO HIS OWN WORLD, and for Fitz do be that shitty to him?

I don’t even think there was one scene where Deke and Fitz even did not butt heads off.

YES them bantering, sniping at one another can be funny but damn was it draining after Deke chose to stay behind.

Deke did his best, but let’s face it, only Jemma truly accepted him in the group.

Not fucking Coulson, not fucking Mackenzie or May, not even Daisy and Elena. SPECIALLY not fucking Fitz. I hate what he did to Deke, and I hate all of them for not reaching out more.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Fitz ever anymore.

I truly enjoyed his character but after framework, or it was just too much.

Yes, he was traumatized by his own actions in the framework, all of them are but goddamn.

I don’t even want to drag Sousa in this but we can all agree that they all embraced Sousa quicker, and much warmer than how they all did with Deke.

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I think the arc I hated the most was the Lighthouse/Kree arc. The crew acted so fucking ignorant despite seeing what the circumstance is. They acted in ways that could’ve endangered the lives of the people who live in the Lighthouse, and yes sure if they solved the problem none of that would’ve happen in the first place but fucking hell they were all so ignorant.

Mackenzie’s shit with the guy with the baby was fucking unnecessary. I hated that scene so much.

Let’s talk about Season 7 which was fucking great.

After the seasons I felt meh about because of reasons written above, special mention to season 5 and it’s shitty ass, let’s finally talk about good stuff.

Let’s talk about young Malick first. Freddy opening that door was a fucking revelation. At this time I didn’t know he’s a big baddie, but goddamn was the actor so fineeeee. Like literally I was on my phone when the scene came up, and when I looked up, my jaw dropped.

ALSO LET’S TALK ABOUT THE COMICAL SEXISM AND RACISM IN THE SEASON.

Time travel to the past has always been an iffy plot for me. Because I don’t really wanna deal with people being sexist and racist out in public, (pfft as if the 21st century was any better about it)

But they deal with it with a comical spin. Daisy and Mack threatening shitheads back was fucking awesome. THE SCENE WITH THE WHITE DEFENSE GENERAL WAS MAGNIFICENT EVEN. DEKE WAS SO FUCKING DONE WITH HIM. HAHAHA.

In season 7 the editors really had fun changing the title sequence to accomdate each time period. It was really great!

Let’s talk about Daniel Sousa, our cinnamon bun of a man who is the only one that will now hold the title “Man out of Time” now that Steve Rogers time traveled his ass back for some fake ass moving on shit.

UGH I THINK WE ALL FELL IN LOVE WITH DANIEL SOUSA IN THIS SEASON. His go to attitude and just so ready to be with Daisy was fucking great. I love Daisy and him together. After all the shit that Daisy went through, FUCKING FINALLY SHE FINALLY GETS THE HAPPY ENDING SHE DESERVESSSSS.

I want a Daniel Sousa myself. He seems to be like a traditional man who isn’t sexist and racist and homophobic ya know. (side eyeing some traditional male actors who I thought would not be shitty only to be proved wrong by them)

Anywho their kiss was fucking satisfying. And I hope that they will fucking have a great long life with Kora.

OH I WANT TO MENTION AGENT PIPER AND AGENT DAVIS BEFORE I END THIS REACTION.

THIS TWO DUMBOS ARE FUCKING GREAT. Still not sure about reviving Agent Davis as an LMD but at least they didn’t keep it a secret that he isn’t a real person anymore.

OH SPEAKING OF AGENT DAVIS.

I shipped him one with Agent LT Koenig. I know Davis is already married and probably has a child based on his interaction with Elena but daaang.

ALSO ALSO I WANNA SAY THAT THE ENDING WHERE ELENA IS WITH DAVIS AND PIPER? THAT WAS FUCKING GOOD SHIT.

Earlier I wrote something about Elena trying to penetrate the Coulson group but not exactly being able to?

Honestly, it makes sense to me that Elena is closer to Piper and Davis than she is with any of the core 6. And I truly love the fact that Davis and Piper is Elena’s new squad. I wish they interacted more honestly.

Also I miss Agent Fox, he was a fucking cutie. Agent Keller was also damn hot lol.

I think I’m done. I can’t think of anything more to say. Oh wait maybe the bit where the guy who acted as young Garrett was actually the son of the actor of old Garrett. Lol I was shooked when I watched them have the same smile. It was eerie without knowing they are father and son lol.

Okay im done, I’m happy that I finally finished AoS. I miss the scenes where they still reference the MCU movies but it seemed like after the gravitonium arc, they didn’t do any of it anymore. Sad truly.

#agents of shield #glass thoughts

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