#please go check out cooking companions it’s life changing I swear

[oribu-the-loser]

Some older digital art I made from may this year 👍

I still like how these look 🫶

Cooking companions deserves way more attention, if you like horror & visual novels please go check it out :)

[writingfromkitchenator]

If Things Were Different

A Dragon Age fanfic

Cullen x Fem!Inquisitor

Words: 1,852

Warnings: None really. Fluff/Angst

She was laughing again.

If there was one thing that could drag Cullen away from whatever he was doing, it that sound.  No one was really sure whether he'd actually noticed himself, but others certainly had, especially when he was in the middle of  conversation with them.

Today, he was dragged away from his desk, following the sound out onto the ramparts and leaning against it with a small affectionate smile on his lips as he looked down to find her still laughing with Blackwall and The Iron Bull.  They each had weapons in hand, meaning they'd been training, but clearly one of them had said something.

Blackwall made another comment and the Inquisitor laughed harder, even from here, Cullen could tell that she had tears in her eyes.

Gratitude filled Cullen at this, glad that his companions were taking the time to make sure she laughed, to let her know that it wasn't serious all the time.  He never said anything, but he knew that it weighed on her heavily, the tasks that they had before them, and had things been different…

Cullen averted his gaze for a moment, scalding himself for letting his mind wander again.  This was not the time.

A scream got his attention then, but the rush of panic was quickly quelled as her laughter rang out again, and another smile and even a small chuckle leaves him as he sees her thrown over Bull's shoulder, struggling to try and get down, Blackwall roaring with laughter.

“You should know better by now than to tempt me boss.” He heard Bull say a rueful grin on his face.  “I might just dunk you in a mud pile next.”

“You wouldn't dare!” She squealed through laughter as he started to walk. “Put me down!”

Luckily, she was saved by Josephine, who looked more than a little worried and confused at the situation, Blackwall falling almost instantly silent.

Cullen does laugh at this, both at Blackwall's reaction and at seeing the Inquistor, now very flushed, awkwardly put down by Bull.  He couldn't help but note the slight drop in her shoulders as Josephine raised something that needed her immediate attention, and his heart ached a little, wanting to stop Josephine, but remaining silent as he observed.

“Uh…sir?”

Cullen jumped, having not realised that someone was beside him, and he felt heat creep into his cheeks.  “What is it?”  He hadn't meant to snap a little, but clearly the soldier was expecting it.

“Nightingale has some more reports for you,” He said quickly.  “She said that they were rather urgent sir and needed your attention right away.”

“Oh,” Cullen looks away for a moment, but finds himself disappointed when he sees that the Inquisitor had already been whisked away inside by Josephine, Bull and Blackwall continuing their training below.  “Alright, give them here, I'll get to them as soon as I can.”

Cullen sat heavily in in his chair with a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose.  Was it really too much to ask for just a moments rest?  Was it really too much to want for her to be happy in a life she deserved.  If things had been different…

Straightening up, realizing his train of thoughts, he pulls the new papers in front of him and starts to go through, throwing himself back into his work so he didn’t let his mind onto things that could be, he needed to focus on what was.

It was many hours later before Cullen moved again, stretching uncomfortably, realizing that he hadn’t moved I a while.  With a heavy sigh, he stretches and then yawns widely, finally glancing outside and seeing that it was well and truly dark.

His stomach grumbled and for a moment, he was caught between trying to finish more work and getting up and going to find something to eat.  An ache settled over him, deep in his bones, and with a groan, he knew that he had to move.

Cullen got to his feet, tidying his papers quickly before he made his way out.  He drew in a deep breath of the cold air, a small wave of relief washing over him as it woke him up a little, keeping his mind off of sleep for the moment.

The kitchens stilled smelled of the evening meals made for the guests of Skyhold, making Cullen realise just how hungry he was and for a moment he couldn’t actually remember when he’d last eaten.  Luckily, one of the cooks was still there and she happily put a dish together for him, scalding him for not having eaten anything since breakfast.

He liked the cook, she was always a cheerful woman, if not a little stern, but she knew how to manage the staff and keep everything moving in the constant changing state of Skyhold, something that both Cullen, Josephine and Leliana were grateful for as it meant a little less for them to worry about.

“I suppose I shouldn’t scald you too much Commander,” The cook said cheerfully, but there was concern in her features.  “It seems that the Inquisitor enjoys skipping meals too.  With all she’s doing I wish she wouldn’t, poor thing.  She needs to look after herself in all this too.”

Cullen found himself a little frozen at this, this being the first time that he’d heard anything like this before. “Did she not come down for dinner?”

The cook shakes her head.  “No, she was with Lady Josephine all evening, said she’d come back later for a meal but she never did, which is most unlike her.”

He frowns.  “Was a meal sent up to her?”

She shoots him a look.  “It was left in the same spot as always Commander, however when one of the cleaners went to check later, it had been placed outside her door, untouched.  She wouldn’t answer her door, so we didn’t know whether anything was wrong with it or whether she was even there.”

Cullen processed this slowly, he knew she hadn’t left otherwise he would’ve been informed, and he hadn’t heard anything unusual coming from the inn, and it usually got louder when she was there, so why would she not have had a meal?

He brings himself back round at the cooks look at him, making him clear his throat.  “If you make me something for her as well, I can take it up to her.”

There was no missing the slight smile from the cook, who nods and gets back to her cheerful conversation, even as Cullen feels himself flush slightly.

Cullen had never been relieved to be out of the kitchens before, but he hurried out with food in hand, not wanting to give the cook any more to talk about with the other staff, the rumours from the soldiers enough to make him more than uncomfortable, and while no one had directly asked him about, he still maintained that this was not the time for such things.

Then he found himself outside the Inquisitors door.  For the first time since he offered to her some food, he considered exactly what he was doing and how to possibly approach this.

You’re just bringing her some food.  He thought to himself.  The cook mentioned it and…

Cullen scalded himself, he talked to her every day, he was being ridiculous.

With a small, awkward knock on the door, he waited for a response, purposefully ignoring anyone further back in the room, including a certain dwarf who was sending a grin his way.

There was no response but Cullen could swear that he could hear a noise from her room, so, against what he would normally do, he opened the door and make his way upstairs.

As he made his way quietly up, he slowly realised what the noise was.

It was crying.

This gave him pause, worry trickling into his stomach, and for a small moment he wondered whether he should disturb her.  That was when the crying turned to a heartbreaking sob and Cullen let his feet carry him forward.

The Inquisitor was at her desk, her elbows on her desk, her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she weeps openly.

Cullen’s heart breaks and he pauses. “Kela?”

Her head starts up, her eyes red and shining, and for a moment he thought that she would shake it off, but it seemed to just crumble her further.

“Cullen,” Her voice was hoarse, it almost sounding like a hiccup.  “I…I’m sorry you have to see me like this…”

He stepped closer, quickly putting the food on her desk, his voice quiet.  “Don’t apologise, are you alright?”

Tears welled up again and another sob breaks free from her before she can answer, shaking her head and hanging it so he can’t see her.

“Hey,” Cullen joins her by her side, kneeling next to her and gently touching her arm.  “It’s okay.”  He hesitates. “I can go if you want me to?”

The words had barely left him before Kela shakes her head and then turns and practically collapses into his arms, Cullen just managing to hold himself up and onto her, his heart racing until he realizes that she is shaking.

“Just stay with me,” She mumbles against him, her hands clutching onto him tightly.  “Please.”

Cullen lets out a steadying breath and shifts so that he can sit, his back leaning against the wall and holding her close.  “I’m here.”

Kela buries into his chest, her legs resting over the top of his, and Cullen wraps his arms around her, holding her close, his heart breaking more and more at each sob that breaks through her.

“I’m sorry,” She gasps through tears. “I…I shouldn’t….I should…”

“Easy,” Cullen’s voice was soft, gentle, soothing, his hand gently rubbing her arm.  “I’m here Kela, I’m not going anywhere.”

A deep shudder goes through her, but it seems to be enough to know that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he was staying, that she was safe and secure in his arms.  It took a little while, but Kela slowly settled, until only shuddering breathes broke the silence between them.

Cullen was worried, having never seen her like this before, having never seen her breakdown like this, sobbing and trembling, and before he could stop himself, his fingers brush gently through her hair.  “Kela?”

Kela draws in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, but she remains securely in his arms still holding onto him. “It’s…just so much…”

She falls silent but it was enough for Cullen to understand, to know what had caused this outburst and his heart broke a little more, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it, that they were all feeling the pressure, but none more than her, the weight on her shoulders to get things fixed.

A small sniff breaks him from his thoughts, but Kela shifts only a little, getting more comfortable.  “If things were different…”

His mind whirled and he was taken back for a moment before a small affectionate smile comes to him.  “Yes, if things were different.”

[journal-of-an-outlaw]

Price to be Paid - Chapter 10

The Rise of Mrs. Sadie Adler

Words: 4,156

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

AO3 Link

It had taken you and Arthur longer than you had hoped to arrive at camp, but you had to admit everything he said was true. The location was easily defendable on the lake, and the water was blue and sparkling in the evening sun. It was beautiful. 

“Ah, Mr. Morgan! Ms. Moore! How did you two get on with those loans?” Dutch wandered over as you hitched your horse in the new area. Eclipse nibbled at the grass and made content noises as you took her heavy saddle off in the heat. 

“Well enough, I suppose. Last one didn’t have the money but we got everything else. Here, for the camp,” Arthur handed the older man the cash. “Damn, Dutch. This humidity is awful.”

He laughed but agreed, and motioned you over to Grimshaw. In a softer tone Dutch asked Arthur how things went with you.

“Fine. She’s good on a horse and held her own. Soft spirit, but nearly took a man’s head of by swinging a gun at him. I’d say we start taking her out more and givin’ her responsibilities. She can hunt and fight just fine.” Dutch was happy to hear this and clapped Arthur’s shoulder.

“Mr. Morgan! Your tent, per usual, is near the ammunition and over on the right there. Next to Herr Strauss. Don’t make that face, I know how you feel about the man but space is limited. Miss Moore, you’re by that tree and the lake. We moved your stuff over but don’t know how you like it, so that bit is up to you.” You smiled back at Grimshaw, “Thank you, I appreciate it. I’ll go get all set up then.” 

The three nodded and began a new conversation without you, so with your saddle in hand you walked to your new tent.

Lenny, Mary-Beth, and Abigail all called out hellos from across the camp at your return and you filled with happiness inside. 

Grimshaw was right about your tent. Situated maybe twenty feet from the water, a cool breeze filtered through the open flaps and felt heavenly. Your few possessions were on your bed and you took your time decorating your new home to your liking before you had to get dinner. 

Watching the water reminded you of the times your mother would take you down to Flat Iron Lake as a child. She taught you to swim and would take you for ice cream as a treat after an afternoon in the glowing sun. 

She had been crossing your mind more and more lately and you didn’t know why. Cassandra Milton. The only woman to love that bastard father of yours. 

The small heart shaped locket she had given you was in the pile on your bed and it opened to her photo. Smiling, you clasped the chain around your neck and tucked it behind your clean white shirt before leaving the tent. It always made you feel close to her when you squeezed it tightly in your hand. 

Boxes were scattered around the uncompleted camp acting as chairs and you couldn’t complain as you took a seat and watched the sun finally slip down below the waterline for the day. 

The stew Pearson made had some of what you had helped Charles hunt and to you it tasted divine. Of course, it wasn’t canned corn or poorly shot rabbit, so anything at this point was better than what you had eaten recently. Or maybe it was just your recent burst of happiness that flavored the meal to your liking. 

Charles joined you after finishing up with Pearson to get his cooking area established. 

“How did you and Arthur get on, YN?” He looked tired and ready to relax as he passed you a bottle of beer, and you clinked yours with his lightly. 

“Good, feeling better about being here. More established. I really do want to help out, need to go hunting again anytime soon?” 

Charles laughed and took a long drink. “No. Too soon from last time, but I’ll let you know. We don’t want to over hunt and have the animals go to waste. Have you seen the town nearby? Rhodes? I’m not familiar with it.” 

You hadn’t. Most of your life was spent in Blackwater with few trips outside, although you had heard of many of the cities out east. 

“No. Saw the sign on the way in. We ran into some Laymone Raiders last night though, hope they ain’t too common around here.” Out of habit you scanned the wooded area, but nothing was lurking. All your demons were tucked away quietly for the time being. 

“Should be perfectly safe here, like I thought. Good land, clean water right there. I have no worries about this place. Feels good to not worry about folks here for a little while.” 

You sighed heavily, tearing the label off your beer bottle. “Well Charles, I guess worryin’ is the price you have to pay when you have folks around that you care for.” 

He raised his bottle again to yours, and you watched the lake move peacefully back and forth in a calming rhythm that would soon help you fall asleep at night.

 Not a week into being at Clemens Point and Sadie Adler broke.

You were helping Abigail feed the chickens, carrying the bags back and forth to spread the food around their area. The morning had been soft so far with a fog rolling in from the lake. Warm rays of the sun were ready to burn it away as it had every morning previously, the heat already creeping across your shoulders and down your back.

“Say whatever you damn well please but I tell you, if I don’t get outta here soon, I’m gonna kill somebody.” 

Abigail froze and you watched Arthur approach the widow as she pointed a sharp knife in Pearson’s direction. You can’t imagine the past five months have been easy on Sadie Adler, but she had hardly started living her life again. Coming to some meals, dressing, and putting in minimal help was all she was good for at Horseshoe Overlook. Of course, none of you blamed her. After the trip to Clemens Point her view seemed to change to be more future oriented and finally emerging out of her shell. 

Pearson slammed the pot he was holding down on his wooden table and turned to face Mrs. Adler. “If you don’t stop hissing at me, I’m gonna kill you!” He was brandishing a knife sharpener to counter her weapon but it was doing little good. 

“You come near me, sailor...and I will slice you up!” 

“You put that knife down or you’re going to be missing a hand, lady.”

Arthur stood back a ways letting the two get things out of their system, but finally stepped in as the two got closer and closer. “What is wrong with you two?”

Sadie slammed the tip of the knife into the table with enough force to make it stand on its own, and replied, “I ain’t chopping vegetables for a living.” She stood with her hands on her hips and her shoulders moved with each breath she took. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, madam,” Arthur sauntered over. “Are there not sufficient feathers in your pillow?”

Abigail clucked beside you at Arthur. She obviously sided with Sadie and watched the two go back and forth. 

“Look, I ain’t lazy Mr. Morgan. I’ll work but not this. My husband and I, we shared the work. All of it. I was out in the fields, I can hunt, carry a knife or use a gun. But I tell you,” you and Abigail scooted closer to eavesdrop as Sadie’s voice lowered. The two of you didn’t even look like you were trying to do chores at this point. “You keep me here, I’ll skin this fat old coot and serve him for dinner!” 

“Watch your damn mouth, you crazy goddamn fishwife!”  

With a scream, Sadie threw herself at Pearson. Arthur was standing between the two but she struggled to get away and lay her hands on the camp cook. Pearson walked backwards with his hands up but had no fear of her catching him. Arthur threw Sadie back and put his hands between them. 

“Enough! Both of you. Well, come with me then. You wanna head out there? Run with the men? So be it. But we do more than just hunting we’re hunted. And them things hunting us they got guns of their own.”

Sadie replied with a simple but resounding remark. “I ain’t afraid of dying.” 

Her eyes showed this was absolutely true. Just because she was happy to be living didn’t mean a change in that plan would upset her by any means. 

“Mrs. Marston! Ms. Moore! You two look...well, you look guilty of something. What in the hell are you doing with that chicken feed? It’s everywhere!” 

You and Abigail had wandered over to the commotion and not even checked the feed in many minutes. The chickens were well outside their area, but well fed if nothing else on their new path through camp. 

“Sorry, Arthur. We wanted to see what all the yelling was about,” Abigail spoke up. “You going into town? I need a few things, can you all grab it for me?” 

“You don’t wanna come?” 

She shrugged back. “Nah, I’ve got too much around here to do. But YN will go! She won’t say it but she’s antsier than anything to get out of camp for awhile.” She lightly shoved you in Arthur’s direction and took off back towards her tent with the two empty feed bags. When no one else was looking she winked over her shoulder at you. 

Arthur checked with Pearson if he needed anything from town but all he had was a letter to be sent and a short grocery list. Both were tucked away into Arthur’s satchel and he directed you two over to the wagon to head out of camp, giving a hand up as the jump was too high in your long skirts. As Sadie was the reason you were leaving camp you let her sit in the front with Arthur, and you took the back with your knees tucked up under your chin. The autumn breeze was heavenly and you closed your eyes as the wagon rolled out. 

Sadie and Arthur threw witty quips back and forth, testing the limits of their new bond. She was a smart woman who, now that she actually spoke, was someone you could learn a lot from. The few years Sadie had on you showed instantly. Swearing and shooting were not unfamiliar to her from her old life. 

“Dear Aunt Cathy.” 

The words pulled you out of your head and back to the preset. You had been admiring some clouds on the horizon, but turned and put your arms over the wood separating you and your companions at Sadie’s voice. 

“That what I think it is?” you asked. Arthur looked in your direction and rolled his eyes, knowing he had lost. “Leave that poor fool alone then.”

“No,” you giggled. “Continue on, Mrs. Adler.” 

Sadie cleared her throat and made a face that resembled Pearson. “I haven’t heard from you in some time, so I prayed to the Lord above that your health has not deteriorated further…blah, blah, blah, that’s boring. Oh! Listen to this. Since we last corresponded I have traveled widely, making no small name for myself. Before you ask, I am still yet to take a wife but I can assure you it’s not for the lack of suitors!” 

The three of you laughed so hard Arthur careened the wagon off the path and narrowly avoided hitting a rock. Wiping tears from her eyes, Sadie flipped the letter over. 

“What’s this? Return to Tacitus Kilgore.” Arthur went on to explain how Dutch wanted all of the gang’s mail to be sent to one fake name so they would never lose anything even if they traveled from town to town. 

Thinking back on your home of Blackwater, you remembered dust. It was stuck between every brick in the road and then some. Rhodes was an entirely new level. 

Before the wagon was even parked the dust permeated you. It was in your hair and on your skin and you hadn’t even moved yet. The beating sun only made it worse, and the lack of rain was obvious from the low levels of water in the buckets situated around town. Arthur parked near the entrance of the town and in the shade of the general store. 

“So, what’s the plan, I shoot the shopkeeper while you -”

“No!” Arthur lunged at Sadie and swatted the gun out of her hands. It swung wildly for a moment and you dove down below the sight level in the back of the wagon. “You insane?”

“I thought we was outlaws!” 

“Outlaws, not idiots. We rob fools that rob other people. These people, they’re just tryin’ get by.” 

Sadie marched off to the grocer clearly disappointed she wasn’t going to be shooting anyone on their adventure. Arthur held his arms up and helped you down, his strong hands grabbing your waist and setting you gently on the ground. 

“Jesus, that woman is something else.” he chuckled and guided you to the main street and off to the post office. 

A train was arriving full of visitors who ogled the small town through their clean glass windows. All they saw was a main road with shops, trees, and lots and lots of dust. You could have complained about that damn dust all day long, but you had to keep your mouth shut otherwise half of it would end up in your stomach. 

Arthur held the peeling green door to the station open for you to pass first. He wanted to go up to the teller alone so you wouldn't be seen, so you mosied around and admired the paintings up on the walls. Most were amateur and just of green landscapes, but one of the ocean caught your attention and your fingers traced the crashing waves on the small canvas. Seeing the ocean in person had always been a dream of yours. The lake was wonderful, sure, but to see the ocean? In person? You had always imagined how the blue water would stretch as far as you could see, and even further in every direction. 

As soon as the letter was posted, Arthur walked over to join you. “You ready?” You nodded and followed him back outside, admiring the small garden of grass that surrounded a bell with a plaque laid down. You wondered what it commemorated but didn’t have time to stop, so you mentally added it to the list of things you wanted to see again. 

No one was by the wagon so you continued down through the street. A butchers shop, a gunsmith, a saloon, and a few various other shops and buildings made up the whole area. 

“Makes you feel like civilization ain’t out here yet. Blackwater was hell, but at least they knew how to pave a road.” The disdain in your voice was obvious and Arthur turned mockingly towards you. 

“Why, Ms. Moore! You are a true city slicker. Talking about civilization and roads, makes it sound like you was born in an ivory tower with servants and butlers.” 

A laugh burst from your chest at his sarcasm. “An ivory tower! That’s what you think of me. All I wish for was a little but less dust…” as you spoke you shook out your green skirt and a wave of that wretched stuff came off. 

“Oh. I thought that was blue.” You didn’t answer him but stared daggers instead, making sure he got the message. 

“Nah, I know you ain’t some uppity princess. Just takes awhile to learn how to fit in anywhere like we do, I guess. It’s been, what, five? Six months now? You’re doing just fine, Ms. Moore. I’ve been running with these fools for nearly twenty years, so I figure I can teach you a few things. Just takes time is all.” He smiled down at you, and your heart warmed in your chest. 

He may be an outlaw, but something about Arthur Morgan had captured your attention over the past few months. There were rough edges to him, but that wasn’t it. More often than not his blue eyes were crinkling into some sort of a smile,whether sarcastic or serious, and he had a deep, rumbling laugh that was infectious to those in camp. You had seen him turn on a dime into someone ruthless and wild and be completely different if he needed to, but it was never aimed at anyone he cared about. And he was always writing in that journal of his which you would have given just about anything to peek into. The writer had attracted the reader, how poetic. 

Someone was barking orders by the wagon and Arthur was suddenly on edge. The two of you neared, and saw Sadie berating the poor delivery boy as he loaded the crates into the back.  

“Jesus, kid! My grandma has more strength than you! Lift up them crates.”

A new woman stood before you. Now in a bright yellow top, dark brown pants, suspenders, and a leather gun belt topped with a wide brim hat, Sadie had come into her own. The few minutes you left her alone had allowed her to blossom. And she looked damn fine. 

Arthur whistled and walked around as Sadie showed off her new threads. “Damn, Sadie! Who woulda thought.”

“Here, YN. I grabbed you a few things as well.” She handed you a package and you stowed it on the wagon. The heat was enough now that you twisted your long hair up into a bun and used your hand to fan yourself. 

“Any chance there’s a new hat in there, Mrs. Adler? I’m dying in this heat.” 

Sadie nodded and motioned back towards the wagon. Arthur was impatiently already seated in the front and you climbed in the back again, eagerly ripping into your present. 

The first item was blue, your blue. The shade that you wore all the time and loved, and it turned out to be a beautiful long skirt. Luckily the material was light so you could wear it often in the heat. Next Sadie had gotten you a few practical shirts, a bandanna, and at the bottom was your hat. It was more fashion oriented than hers with a rounded dome versus her flat one, but you could have cared less. It was a blessed relief to not have the sun on your face and Sadie flashed a full smile as you put it on and modeled for her. 

Mrs. Adler drove the wagon home. It wasn’t as rushed as when Arthur drove for she constantly got distracted by things on the side of the road. She pointed out interesting people and funny buildings to you while Arthur lounged in his seat with his feet up. 

They chatted easily, and it was the first time Mrs. Adler had really opened up. She actually joked about what happened in Colter with the O’Driscolls, and Arthur apologized and offered to find her a new harmonica to replace one she had lost years ago. It was clear you both had the same idea of what you wanted in this gang; to be equal. There was certainly differences between you and how you approached it, but it didn’t mean that people should take either of you any less seriously. 

As the wagon rolled on, you laid your head on crossed arms and watched the scenery go by. Wild flowers were sprinkled across the fields clouds dotted the bright blue sky. It couldn’t have been a more beautiful country day if it tried. 

A man rode up right next to you and hollered, startling all three of you. “Hey there! What are you folks up to?” He eyed the groceries in the back of the wagon, and gave you a one over that made your insides curl. Arthur sat at attention and you were suddenly aware that your guns were all back at camp. 

Sadie called back, “Just heading home. Day in town leaves folks real tired.” She casually moved her inside hand to her hip where her new holster sat. 

“You’re in Lemoyne Raider country. You need to pay a toll to pass through here.” The horses kept pace with the wagon and your heart started to beat faster. 

Arthur called back lazily, ‘’No. I don’t think so. We ain’t pulling over for nobody.” 

Sadie reached across to address the main Lemoyne Raider with the business end of her gun. “Hey! How’s about this?” And fired right into his belly. 

Arthur reached back and shoved you down as he fired his pistol at the other rider, narrowly missing him as he leaned forward and galloped his horse. The wagon plowed forward across railroad tracks and Sadie grabbed the reins again, yelling at the horses to keep moving as fast as they could. 

More riders approached from all sides. “Give me a gun!” Panic laced your voice, and Arthur began to protest but Sadie had no hesitation as she tossed you her rifle. The wagon was gaining speed again and rocking more but you steadied yourself against the boxes and took aim. 

“There must be at least four back here!” 

After one round, you knew where to aim. The gun felt heavy in your hands but it was a fight or flight response, and damn did you want to fight. Three riders fell as you shot them down, trying not to think too much about it, and you missed as the fourth finally raised his shotgun at you. His shot landed close, but struck the wall of the wagon. 

You laughed maniacally and Sadie whooped in encouragement. Arthur had eliminated the riders ahead and swung himself into the back of the wagon to assist you. 

“Where’d they all go?” He whipped around confused after hearing you yell. 

“Only a few left. Got the other ones with Sadie’s rifle.” He looked over at you impressed, pride showing on his features. Then aimed and the last two riders were dead before they even hit the ground. 

After a good few minutes of riding on, Sadie felt safe enough to pull the wagon over to the side of the road. 

You put your hands on your knees to catch your breath while Sadie checked the supplies to see if anything had fallen off. 

“Told you I could shoot a gun, Arthur.” He stood above you, eyes scanning the horizon to make sure you weren’t followed. 

He chuckled lightly. “I don’t remember asking you to prove it, Ms. Moore. You alright there?” 

“‘Course. Just the heat and all that excitement. This new hat is wonderful Sadie!” She waved back as you hollered over to her at the wagon. 

“You’ve, uh, you’ve got something…” you reached up to Arthur’s face as you noticed the dirt on his cheek, gently wiping it away with the pad of your thumb. He didn’t flinch at the contact this time and it almost seemed like he leaned into your touch. You smiled up at him and let your hand fall back. 

“You two ready or what?” Sadie was already at the reins, ready to leave. You pulled yourself up to the back of the wagon as Arthur climbed to the bench and directed the way back to Clemens Point. 

“That’s a lot of mess to make near camp. Hope it don’t bring anyone sniffing around.” Arthur shifted in his seat, and the lake finally came into view. 

You could see Charles on guard duty and decided to keep him company, so the pair let you jump off and you waved as they rode the rest of the way into camp. 

“Don’t go ribbing Pearson about that letter, Sadie.”

“How dare you? I wouldn't dream of it. ‘I have traveled widely making no small name of myself…’” Arthur and Sadie rolled out of view as you approached Charles. 

 A wide smile and a handful of candies met you. You took the one happily, throwing the mint flavored snack into your mouth. 

“Rhodes is just as awful as we feared, Charles. No hope of salvation anywhere!” He stared at your dramatics while you fanned yourself with the new hat from Sadie. 

“How is Mrs. Adler?” He asked kindly. 

“Better. I think. She seems to be moving in a new direction that’s good for her. Nearly killed us all, but saved our skins as well. I think she’s a complicated woman.” 

Charles laughed at this. “Aren’t you all? Complicated, that is?” 

You leaned back against a tree and answered, “Only in you don’t speak the language, Charles. Only if you don’t bother to try.”

[blue---rose]

White Widow - Chapter 2

Fanfiction.net | AO3

Title: White Widow Chapter: Two Author: Blue Rose Rating: M (Hard R) Pairing: Sasuke/Sakura Summary: "Running away was easy; not knowing what to do next was the hard part." - Sakura needed to stop fantasizing about running away to some other life, and start figuring out the one she had. [Sasu/Saku, Modern AU]

Warnings: Adult Content Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I damn sure don't make a single red cent for this either. So please, don't sue the Blue

Author Notes: If you like please don't forget to review/comment/like. A very special thank you to my amazing beta: MySoberThoughts

･ﾟ* : *ﾟ･

He looked down between them and decided… it was one of the most foolish things he ever did in his entire life. The air rushed past his lips and his whole body strained for some measure of control, but watching himself as he took her was stripping any discipline he possessed. He wanted to savor this conquest, as barbaric as it sounded. It truly was the only word his muddled brain could come up with, to describe how it felt… to be able to get this close to someone like her, to have been deemed worthy enough to allow him into her bed, inside of her…

The groan he released did not cover the sound of them joining, his hips pulling away and... Gods... he could see how she covered him. The neighboring apartments and full moon cast the room in shadows, but through the dim light, he sees everything.

Her essence on his length as he began to move quicker…

The beautiful arch of her back…

The thick, wild mane that almost glowed peach against the sheets…

It became easier as they went along, moving together so fluently they could have been mistaken for long-time lovers; companions that had spent countless nights together, getting to know every dip and curve… every hidden crevice.

His patience in the beginning with her … taking his sweet time… allowing her to adjust and succumb to the pleasure that raced down to her toes, was paying off. She moaned beneath him, her body moving with a hypnotic, feline grace as she followed his lead. She yielded to him, offering herself…

…if he promised to keep taking care of her, like his sinful eyes had sworn to her that they would… she would give him anything he wanted at all… all night, for as long as he demanded it. The unspoken way his body communicated with her, all the ways he could make her feel… and all the things he could do, if only she would let him.

He was trying to fulfill that promise now. Shifting his hold, he moved at a faster pace, eager to show her all the ways he could make her sing for him. She was mistaken if she thought the little mews coming from her full lips would placate him for long.

Hands grasping, slipping across soft skin as she all but purred, green eyes finally meeting his own over her shoulder… looking at him in a way that had him aching… straining… just for her, and his lips pulled back, mouth opening to tell her just how fucking good she was being to him right now and he-

･ﾟ* : *ﾟ･

He awoke as his throat closed, cutting off the groan that was rising from his heaving chest. Sweat cooled on his forehead and pecs, the tank top sticking to his skin as he kicked the blankets off with a huff. His pulsing erection throbbed against his lower belly and he shut his eyes once more. He didn't have to check the time to know it was still very early. It was still dark out, but in a few minutes the predawn, morning sky would give way to streaks of blues and greys. His heart was still beating fast, as his mind scrambled to retain the images from the dream.

' Not just a dream though… was it? ', he thought.

Sasuke frowned, not liking the interruption from sleep the dream had caused… especially regarding that. Fuck, he was way too old for this shit… hardly an adolescent. He supposed it made sense though. It's not like these thoughts were just randomly populating. She was back, it seemed. And seeing her, standing there… no matter how fleeting, was bound to stir up memories of their last encounter together before she disappeared.

Damn, she looked good... really good. Standing there, tall boots hugging the edge of her thighs … looking so beautiful… with those legs that went on for days, and every inch of exposed skin sent heat racing through his veins. He sighed, running his hand across his face before running blunt nails across his scalp in frustration.

' Doesn't mean I have to like it. '

Accepting that he would not be going back to sleep anytime soon; he sat up, swinging his legs so his feet touched the floor… running a hand through his midnight locks again, body still humming. His only options were to either go for a run… or take a cold shower. His eyes flickered down, taking stock of his calming length, beneath his sleepwear and decided… some air would do him good.

By the time he rounded the corner at the end of his block, the playlist he selected on his phone was two songs in… and he had faith that, the repetitive pounding of his feet on the pavement would drive out any lingering thoughts of a girl that made it clear she did not want to be thought of, or chased.

At least for now…

There would be some time, coming soon he was sure… that would allow them to settle up, and actually, talk. And this time, she wouldn't go running off to some random airport gate to board a plane, before then… he'd make sure of it.

He was not someone to be ignored, as she'd soon come to know… even if she learned that lesson the hard way.

Sakura Haruno now had his full attention.

:✧･ ﾟ･*･ﾟ･✧ B R✧･ﾟ･*･ﾟ ･✧:

"Oh, I wish you'd visited the Manila Ocean Park while you were there. I'm telling you, it is absolutely amazing. Your father took me there a few years back." Mebuki said as all three ladies made their way outside. They had just all but gorged themselves on French Toast and mimosas, chatting half the morning away in the little café.

The older Haruno fussed over her daughter constantly, not missing a moment to inquire about her health… as well as her dating life. Only her mother could squeeze in talks about home cooked meals and husbands randomly, despite the topic of conversation. She tried to brush her off like normal, insisting that her job left little to no time for finding dates lately… or whipping together three-course meals every night.

"It's not like I'm going on a girl's trip. I don't go there to visit museums and beaches. I'm working."

"I know, I know. That doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself. Your health is important, you know that. I swear, if I didn't know for a fact you can cook more than microwavable meals, you'd put me in an early grave. I worry about you Sakura." She cupped her daughter's soft cheek, frowning in concern.

She really was proud of the work her daughter was doing with a small humanitarian group, the small organization was a branch of Doctors Without Borders. That did not take away the uneasiness she felt whenever her only child went abroad; sometimes to war-torn nations to lend aid, spreading health awareness and overall helping and doing good. Her concerns were only put to rest when, and ONLY when she heard her daughter's voice over the phone during a scheduled check-in, or… more importantly; when she was back in her home town… close enough to touch and hug and smoother with affection.

Sakura smiled, reaching up to cradle the warm hand still pressed against her face.

"Momma…" She gave her hand a squeeze before lowering both of them. "I'm fine… really. I eat, and not just junk food and grease. I promise."

"She has been eating salads and lots of lean protein since she's been home this time, Scouts Honor." Ino pipped up from behind them, slipping her sunglasses over her eyes. Sakura turned back to her mother.

"See?"

"Neither of you were girl scouts. We couldn't even get you two to join the Brownies because of the uniform color, remember? It wasn't 'in season' at the time." She deadpanned. Ino just cracked a smile at the memory.

Mebuki turned and swept Sakura up in a hug, squeezing just a bit too tight… but it warmed her heart, because it reminded her of the giant hugs her Dad still gave out, and she returned the tenderness eagerly. "I miss you so much. You really need to come home more often." She pulled back, catching her eyes before she could look away.

"And not just to your apartment, in the city… but home. You need to make more of an effort Sakura. Thanksgiving was the last time you set foot there, wasn't it? Such a long time ago. I know it's been difficult, and I completely understand-"

"Momma-"

"I mean it." There was a sharpness that entered her voice and had her back straightening. Her mother was not one to repeat herself, and when she did… you'd had better shut up and listen. That all, too familiar tone was hard wired in her brain, and even adulthood could not erase it. It was the language between a parent and child, and Sakura buttoned up immediately. "I know your father will be away for a while on business, but I'm still there. Your home, is still there, and you'd best make your way there to come see us… and sometime soon."

Green eyes were intently focused on her, and Sakura just knew; if they'd been somewhere more secluded, then standing on the sidewalk in DuPont Circle… they would indeed be having whatever discussion Mebuki felt was long overdue. Thank goodness for old school parents, who thought heavy conversations were best done privately.

Cracking a smile, and in an attempt to reset the mood; Mebuki changed the subject to Sakura's dating life.

"Hmmm, maybe you could bring that Managing Director home next time, for dinner. What was his name?" They walked her to her car, but Sakura stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, a muscle in her jaw twitched.

"…Dr. Dan? My boss?" She could not be serious.

"What a nice young man he is." Mebuki sang as she fished out her car keys.

"…He's my boss." Sakura deadpanned.

"You two could be discrete. Is such a thing, against company policy or guidelines?"

"Ew." Ino muttered, deciding to sit this one out. Sakura needed to fight her own battles.

"He's my mentor's fiancé, Momma", Sakura shook her head. Mebuki unlocked her car doors when they arrived to her parking spot, chuckling while pulling both girls close.

"It was just a thought. Anyways…I'll see you girls soon. I have a few stops to make in Georgetown before heading back. Sakura, you make sure to call me tonight, hmm? Love you girls!" One last departing kiss on the cheek and she was off, the little two-door coupe pulled away into traffic, leaving the duo standing there, a slight breeze brushing past them.

Ino turned to Sakura while pushing a few golden strains behind her ear. "Want to grab a drink?" Sakura's eyes widened, checking the time on her phone… confirming her suspicions.

"It's not even noon yet." She conveniently left out the fact that they just downed a few glasses of orange juice and champagne not too long ago.

"Ugh, whatever. Coffee then." She relinquished, leading her across the street to cut through the park, to grab a cup. She wasn't ready to part ways and wanted to spend as much time as she could with her best friend. "So… anything new? Other than 'Sexy Dan the Man', are there… any other guys I should know about?"

"You are horrible at being subtle; you do know that… right?"

"Then don't make me continue on with this charade and finally give me the 'deets I've been dying to get, for well over four months. And please, don't spare the horrid details. Because you owe me Hurano!" Did she even take a moment to breathe during all of that?

They took a seat in the outdoor patio area, enjoying the slightly warmer, spring weather the weekend ushered in. It was pretty nice out, with the sun making an appearance here and there despite the overcast. That didn't stop her expression from closing up, not quite sure how she wanted to approach the subject. It was at that moment she realized, she never really allowed herself to think about it. As crazy as it sounded, she was successful with her intentions of distraction over the last few months, and had not dwelled on the unknowns she'd left behind.

"There's not much to say. It was just a hook-up. Nothing special."

"Nothing special?" Ino echoed, after giving their coffee orders to the petite waitress.

"It was either So-God-Awful that you needed to run away, almost halfway across the world to escape the disappointment, OR-"

Her eyes lit up, gleaming with realization.

"It was good. Really good. And maybe… that scared you? I know you… and I have a funny feeling this was something loooooooong in the making you sneaky, sneaky girl. So what happened? You tried to ignore-", her hand waved in the air in Sakura's general direction, "-whatever has been building for a while… then… what? It all came to a head one crazy night of hormones?"

"And morning." She had no idea she spoke out loud until Ino gasped, recognition dawning across her pretty features.

"You whore!"

Aaaaaaaaand thank goodness that; despite it being a wonderful Saturday morning, the coffee shop was not packed, and no one was sitting close enough to clearly hear the outburst. Sakura still sunk down further in her seat and wished she was wearing one of the fitted caps hanging in her closet; she could at least, have pulled it low over her head and pretend to disappear for a while.

Two steaming cups were placed in front of them both, and the waitress tried unsuccessfully to hide her smile. She heard enough, to not meet Sakura's eyes, and said to let her know if they needed anything else. "Yes… please, be louder. I don't think they quite heard you in the back." She scolded when they were left alone. Ino waved her hand dismissively, blowing the hot liquid in her cup. Manicured nails tapped the porcelain rhythmically.

"Why had I not seen it? I got zero vibes from either of you, even leading up to it. I saw you over Thanksgiving break and you didn't say a word. I can't believe you tried to keep this from me." Ah, there it was… the bit of hurt finally peeking through. Sakura's gaze softened.

"This wasn't an ongoing thing, it only happened on New Years. I mean, I always thought he was kind of hot, but I never thought to act on anything. I mean, sure we've all been around each other but that was it, really. He was just one of Kiba's 'work friends'. You know that." There was no secret love affair that carried on for months, right under everyone's noses. It was much simpler than that.

"It wasn't…planned." She continued, her hand reaching up to graze the industrial piercing in her ear, a nervous habit. "I was just confused, after. I was still trying to figure some stuff out, and didn't want to make a bigger deal out of what happened, than it already was. Last year, everytime I saw him… I don't know. I just began to pay a little more attention to him then I should have. I don't think he knew, though. At least, I don't think he did. I just kept teasing myself with the thought, but never acted until…"

A sharp gleam entered her ocean colored eyes. "He didn't blow you off, did he? After… I mean."

"No! No… nothing like that. I promise." The killing intent bled away from the blonde's aura, but Sakura tried to put her completely at ease. "I'm serious. I mean, he had to leave after… and it was kind of awkward…-"

"Awkward enough for you; to hop on a plane, twenty-four hours later? To the Philippines?"

"That's not fair. That trip was planned and booked, even before I came home the first time, on Thanksgiving. We made it to France before turning around because of the delay. I figured I'd come home for a bit, while waiting. It's the only reason why I was in the city at all, remember? It just so happen we got word the very next day, after… you know…" She cupped her hands around the hot mug, the warmth seeping into her chilled digits. "When the embassy cleared us, we had to go."

Trailing a fingernail around the rim of her expresso, Ino bit her lip. She sighed, before leaning in.

"He asked about you."

"W-…What?"

Another sigh… before-

"I guess this was a few days after? He came with Kiba to a party. I don't know him that well, but I knew something was up. He never asked about you before then… so why start now? You dodging my texts and calls all but confirmed it for me. I knew something was up." Ino smiled. "I let it slip to Kiba, but he was utterly clueless."

Sakura rested her chin on her fist, elbow propped on the table in a way that would have Mebuki scolding her for lack of manners.

"Tall, rude bastard wouldn't squeal, either. 'Mind your business, Yamanaka', he said. Hah! As if! He should have minded his business... kept his ankle-spanker in his pants, and away from my poor, little, naïve friend." She huffed. The look on Sakura's face was priceless. She wasn't sure what she was about to say, but Ino cut her off. "So you iced him out after, huh? Is that it? That's what happened?"

Sakura shifted in her seat, lashes fluttering as she blinked, picking at the crisp white table cloth.

"He did try to call… sent texts too. I just…" She nibbled on her bottom lip. "It's just that… this was the first time I'd been with anyone since…you know… 'him'. And not just making out, but like… all the way."

Her eyes glinted briefly.

"I don't know… I just let it all get to my head, you know? Making a big deal out of nothing… over thinking everything… getting worked up and-"

She was going to give herself a headache if she kept this up. The more she said out loud, the crazier she thought she sounded. Especially now, when she was forced to face the hidden, deeper issues… things she'd dropped and left in her past.

"Look… we're friends. I love you… so much, you know that. You can tell me anything, and even though it might come off that way… I'm not judging, ok?" A brief pause had her meeting her gaze. "I just don't want you to get in the habit of running, every time something happens. Sometimes, you have to stay and deal with it. And I also don't want you to keep things in."

Sakura winced, immediately on the defensive.

"…That's not fair."

"No… maybe it's not. But it doesn't make it any less true."

"One has nothing to do with the other." She knew where this was going, and she didn't like it. Not one bit.

"You rarely go home…" Ah, and there it was.

"And that makes me a bad person?" Sakura countered, heart rate starting to elevate.

"No-"

"You know why…"

"I know-".

"You fucking know why." She whispered. The unshed tears began to burn, and she blinked rapidly. She tried to take a breath, the air getting caught in her throat and she tried to calm down.

She was quite surprised to find herself so upset… so quickly.

Gods, does that make her such a bad person? Does that make her such a bad person because she didn't want to go home that often… only to be reminded of-

"Can I get you ladies anything else?" The waitress returned, refreshing their water glasses.

"The check please, thanks." Ino replied, reaching under the table to grasp Sakura's knee. The pinkette grabbed her napkin, discreetly wiping the corner of her eyes. When they were left alone once again, Ino gave her a small smile. "I didn't mean to upset you. You know I want to see you happy. That's all… I promise. It just worries me sometimes that you keep a lot bottled in. I don't ever want you to think that you can't come to me."

Gathering her composure, she nodded. She knew Ino was coming from a good place, knew what type of person she was, and where her intentions lie. She returned her smile, letting her know that all was forgiven, even if they agreed to disagree for now.

"So…" The corners of her mouth turned up, the lopsided grin giving her away before she could continue.

"How was it? I hope he knew what he was doing with that thing, and wasn't just mindlessly shoving away."

Sakura almost choked on the still heated coffee, glaring at her around a cough, her throat unconstricting. "Should I even ask how you would know something like that?"

Ino just rolled her eyes.

"Grey sweatpants; last October. You know I don't miss a thing." She winked, as if that explained anything. "Now, back on topic. Was it good? It must have been good for him, to have come to me, asking about you. That's my girl. Been off the pony for a while, but saddled up like a pro!"

Maybe… just maybe, getting up and leaving the table was the best option. It would surely spare any more embarrassment than she already felt.

The waitress returned with Sakura's credit card and receipt, while Ino excused herself to take a trip to the ladies room. Sakura's phone vibrated, and she swiped right to unlock and answer the device without looking, signing her name on the slip of paper in front of her.

"Hello?"

"…Hello?" Sakura tried again, only hearing a faint melody in the background, before the call ended. Looking at the screen, she didn't have long to dwell on the call before Ino made her return to stand next to the table, one hip poked out to the side as she tapped away on her own phone.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?"

Sakura stood as well, the call from the unlisted number quickly fading from memory. Her eyes lowered in thought. "Not sure… I don't think I had anything planned. Why?"

"Ten-Ten is in town this weekend. We are so going out tonight." She was already leading the way down the street, to where they parked. Even in sneakers, Sakura was hard pressed to keep up… increasing her pace, calling out for her to wait up.

"I'm going to call Chino; see if she can fit us in for blowouts, right now."

:✧･ ﾟ･*･ﾟ･✧ B R✧･ﾟ･*･ﾟ ･✧:

His body felt strangely cold; despite the fact heat was drifting across him, from the fireplace. There was this persistent, ringing in his ear and he couldn't tell if the noise really was loud… or it was just something he was focused acutely on, instead of the pain.

' Fuck. '

It really hurt to breathe. It felt more like a chore, than a life necessity. A thump could be heard somewhere in the home, but he didn't trust himself to accurately locate where it was coming from. He could gauge that he was tired as hell, and wondered just how long his eyes were previously closed before he opened them (barely)… just a few moments ago. His phone flickered to life, making him squint at the cracked screen. Bloody fingers reached out across the wooden floor, moving slowly… barely able to manage a grip on the device to pull it closer.

Message:

"Dear Valued Customer, it has come to our attention-"

His eyes blurred again, and he blinked hard, twice.

Message:

"-ause of this, we have reversed the following transaction-"

Dark eyes skimmed the text. His thumb pressing a box on the screen.

Message:

"Confirm Transaction Reversal?"

A new payee was chosen; one from recent history near the top of the list, and the selection was quickly made. He accepted the changes, his breath beginning to rattle in his lungs. His fingers scrolled across the screen, trying to press the correct characters. The emoji options came into view; an array of colorful option to choose from. They weren't needed however, and his fumbling fingers tried to get the device to switch back to the qwerty keyboard layout.

He was unsuccessful, and finally choose one as his eyes began to feel heavy.

Message:

"-re about to transfer all available funds. Are you sure?"

The green button was pressed.

Message:

"Transaction Complete"

His fingers begin to cramp, trying to hold his hand steady before he gave in. He let the device go, landing face down on the cracked screen just as he heard muffled footsteps approaching. His chest tightened as he let out a wet cough; his eyes closing for what he thought would only be a moment. He just needed to rest, just for a minute, and he would feel better… he was sure. The room stopped spinning just before darkness claimed him again.

END CHAPTER

Next: Chapter Three

[tangerinesmoke]

Day 2: Passion

@sannamiweek 2019

The Proposal

Same AU with this one but has a totally different scenario and the dark past is only briefly mentioned. Hope you enjoy. ^^

Note: A small part of this fic is very slightly NSFW.

--

The wedding ring box weighed heavily in his pocket. It has always been with him since he bought it some weeks ago, already a constant companion whenever he got stressed over proposing to Nami. It became a habit of his to take it with him to work for safekeeping, and touch the box whenever the thought of proposing came to him. Although he’s sure that Nami loves him, there was a nagging feeling that something might come up, considering everything they went through together. So he kept delaying it. He would wait for the perfect timing, he told himself.

And Sanji decided to stop making excuses and just go on with it on their second anniversary as a couple. Tonight, he prepared dinner for two, a bed of roses, the numerous gifts that he wrapped by himself, and his proclamation of love. Nami messaged him that she would get home earlier than usual because she asked for an early leave for their celebration.

She came home together with the news.

Nami was practically chirping when she arrived.

"Sanji-kun!" She ran toward Sanji and gave him a back hug as he was cooking. He flinched at the contact. This is it.

"Whoa, careful. Apron’s’a bit messy. I don’t want you getting your hands dirty.” He turned the stove off and removed the apron to hug his beloved properly.

“Happy second anniversary, Nami-san!" Sanji tried to make his voice as cheery as possible but it's already betraying him. He was nervous as heck. If Nami noticed, she didn't comment on it.

"Mhmm. Happy second anniversary, Sanji-kun! I am so grateful to Conis for the early leave. This is the best day ever." Nami put her bag on the couch and turned to Sanji to kiss him full on the lips.

He kissed her back. This is a good sign, the cook thought. She is totally in a good mood, and that made him ease up a little bit. "You're that excited? My heart is full! I'm happy, Nami-san." His hearty eyes were starting to appear.

"I swear I could smell the aroma from the door!" She peeked over Sanji's shoulder and saw a bouquet of pink and red roses, wine, and some of the dishes he prepared. "And that's not just what we're celebrating for. I have something to tell you and I'm sure you will like it."

His heart thumped. Good news? Could it be... a proposal from Nami-san?! Wait, what if she’s pregnant? Is that why she had to leave the library early? To have her checked by the doctor? Is he going to be a dad? His thoughts already drowning him in the daydream realm.

"Do you remember the university I applied for? I got accepted as a scholar! I can finally fulfill my dreams! I thought my application went straight to their waste bin, I mean, I've been waiting for five months...But today, a letter came at Conis' Library. Let me show you, Sanji-kun." Nami took her bag and excitedly looked for the letter.

He didn't expect this news. Nami has always been passionate in becoming a climatologist. Going to university means the marriage is going to be put aside. He placed a hand into his pocket and held the box. Sorry, you'll have to stay there for the meantime.

"Sanji-kun? Sanji-kun?"

"Ah! Sorry, Nami-san. You were saying?"

"Nothing, really...I was showing you the letter. Are you okay?"

Sanji nodded, "Yes, I'm okay."

Nami slowly withdrew the letter and gave him a sad expression. "You don't seem too happy about it..."

Sanji waved his hands frantically. "No, no. I'm happy for you Nami-san! This is good news! It's just that..." Quick, find an alibi! "It might be... too far and you'll have to move out."

Nami giggled, seemingly pleased with his response. "Silly, it's just six stations away from here. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. And if I ever did, I’ll drag you wherever with me."

Nami’s words slightly relieved him as he kissed her forehead. "I’m happy that you’re happy. That’s all I want.” Except that maybe, he wanted Nami to include him in her future dreams too as her husband.

"Thank you, Sanji-kun. Oh, my forehead is kind of sweaty." Nami clapped her hands together and went her way to the bathroom. "Shower first! Will be over in a jiffy. Join me?" Nami winked slyly.

Sanji gulped. "As much as I want to, Nami-san, we'll make the food wait for too long."

"Fair enough. If you change your mind though, I won't leave the door locked." She winked at him again.

The cooked laughed heartily. His girlfriend was indeed in a good mood. As Nami closed the door, Sanji took the letter and read it. Nami only finished high school, and couldn't get into uni anymore ever since her big sister Nojiko and the orphans got involved in the affairs of yakuza. She went through the ordeal for two years until they met and he and their friends helped her with it. It's only now that she started pulling her life together. Maybe marriage is too soon, but then again...maybe- he needs to continue preparing the dishes and light the candles a little later.

--

Throughout dinner, Nami happily recalled the application process, and she said the referral letter from Conis’ father greatly helped as he was a retired professor from the said university. She was already dreaming about getting an internship at the weather bureau. He happily obliged listening to Nami’s bright voice and he also gave praises from time to time, but the box in his pocket still lingered. The only time she didn’t talk about her acceptance into university was when it was her turn to give Sanji her anniversary gift: a simple anklet that he could wear around his foot, even while he’s cooking at Baratie. She knew that he could not wear any visible jewelry while he’s on the job. Sanji was truly grateful for the thoughtful gesture.

Then the dessert came as soon as they went to bed. Nami was all over him, proving that her good mood didn’t just stop by the dinner table.

“Let’s take this off.” Nami pulled Sanji’s shirt up and tossed it wherever. She kissed and licked his neck, the soft noises working like a switch on Sanji.

“This too, off you go~” Nami lowered his pants; she can already see him turned on. The redhead peppered kisses on his stomach, down his navel to lick it and--

“Your hand has been in here the entire time, you think I didn’t notice?” Nami, like the smooth thief she once was, her hand already making its way to the pocket of Sanji’s pants. “What’s in here?” Nami was about to rummage but Sanji was also quick to hold her hand to stop it. 

“Wait, don’t!”

Thankfully, she did stop.

“You’ve been acting really weird, Sanji-kun.”

“Nami-sa-”

“I caught you smoking three cigarettes at once while waiting for me to finish bath.”

“Nami-sa-”

“You were kind of mentally absent at dinner.”

“...I’m sorry.”

“Strange...”

“Please, Nami-san...” Sanji’s voice was almost pained.

.“Please, what?” Nami smirked and stroked it.

“Ah...” The pleasure was there, but also the stress.

Well, the cook already decided that it would be today, so he would do it today. But for now, he would--

"Sanji-kun?" He didn’t answer, but his forearm covering his eyes already answered it for Nami. “Why are you crying?”

He hiccuped from tears. 

"D-did it hurt you this time? I'm sorry, Sanji-kun! I'll be gentle next time!"

Sanji almost wanted to laugh at Nami's words but his tears overpowered it.

"It should be enough that you're by my side. Sorry that I'm so greedy, Nn-nami-san."

Nami got off him for the meantime and urged him to remove the arm covering his eyes. "I'm worried. Tell me what's going on." 

He hugged her all of a sudden and buried his head on the crook of her neck.

"I love you so much, Nami-san.”

Nami put her arms around him. “I love you too, Sanji-kun.”

“I want you to reach your dreams and be the greatest climate scientist in the country. But I also want you to be my wife. Does that make any sense?"

Nami’s eyes widened.“Eh? Are you...”

"It might be too early for you, but I promise I won’t hinder your dreams. If you let me take care of you for the rest of my life, I will be the happiest man alive.” He took the box from his pocket and gave it to Nami.

“But...I will respect your decision, whatever it may be...”

Nami opened the box and it revealed a beautiful ring, its gold band and the heart set in silver stone shimmered in the dim light. Nami’s features softened and it was her turn to tear up. "Yes, I'll marry you, Sanji-kun."

Sanji brightened up.“Really?!”

Nami nodded eagerly.

Tears welled up from the cook’s eyes. “Thank you, Nami-san.”

“I know you won’t stop me from my dreams. I’m sorry you thought that way. The degree means so much to me. But you mean the world to me, too...”

They hugged each other for a long while, crying together.

“I hope I didn’t ruin the night.” Sanji finally spoke.

Nami sniffed. "No, but I admit the sudden crying was a bit anticlimactic...I was about to get to the good part. " Nami pouted. “So it was not a sex toy in that pocket after all, huh?”

“Eh?! Eh?!” Sanji blushed profusely.

The redhead shrugged. “Can you blame me? It’s our sexy night and you’ve been nervous the whole time!”

“N-Nami san! So fierce!” Sanji’s hearty eyes eventually showed. He is back.

"Can we start all over again?"

"Of course, my love." Sanji pulled his future wife close to him.

-end-

[purkinje-effect]

The Anatomy of Melancholy, 28

Table of Contents. Go to previous. Go to next.

A knock at the front door frame roused ‘Choly from where he slept on his couch. He sat up to find Sturges backlit by the moonlight. Rubbing at his eyes with a yawn, he motioned for him to come in.

“You’re the only one of us I don’t think’s eaten yet today. You want a can of pork n’ beans?” Sturges sat in the armchair and offered him a can and a fork. “I’ve got a can opener.”

“Food does not agree with me. Not now, and not for a long time.”

“Sorry to hear that. That’s only one of the things I came over here to talk to you about, at any rate.” Sturges held the can and utensil in his lap. Once ‘Choly put on his glasses, the handyman continued. “Preston says you lived here before. That right?”

“It… it wasn’t just my house. I had a roommate. And of course Angel. I’m so grateful Angel’s still here.”

“I didn’t mean to get you on a sorry topic,” Sturges apologized. “Came by to check on you, and to scout out what kinds of repairs I might be able to offer. I tinker and repair and improve constantly, even in my sleep. Helps me knock out faster, to deconstruct and reconstruct stuff in my head. I’m pretty handy when I put myself to it. And seeing as this was… is… literally your house, I figured you might like to see a few of the walls back up.” He winked at the chemist.

‘Choly did his best to ignore that the Med-X had worn off, and give his attention to his guest. His leg was definitely wrecked from the fighting earlier.

“For how much of an outburst I had over keeping possession of the house, I’m struggling to make peace with actually living here,” he admitted. “Nothing against you, but… everything is so different. Sometimes, things don’t get any better, and that’s okay. It’s not like they can ever go back to the way they used to be.”

“Things can and will get better,” Sturges objected with a stern, pleasant wagging of his finger. “I had my suspicions you were prewar, from how you talk about things, but Preston did everything in his power to skirt that description when he was apologizing about how you got mad at the Longs before. Everything’s gonna even out, once we establish ourselves here. Promise. I’m optimistic about this place. Surely we can do something about all the ghosts and cobwebs for you. Make it someplace the lot of us can call home. Including you.”

As Sturges got lost in thought, ‘Choly couldn’t tell if the warm distant smile fell on his face or just past him. Sturges realized he was staring and stopped.

“It’s certainly better here than Concord,” ‘Choly admitted. “You really want me around after the way I acted earlier? After knowing that I helped those raiders be as formidable as they were?”

“They had you fooled into thinking you were getting something good from the arrangement. None of us wholly faults you. Besides, you helped us get rid of them. And what kind of neighbors would we be, if we didn’t help you get your house back in order at the same time we settle in ourselves?” Sturges leaned in, steadying himself with a hand on his own knee. “Can I ask you a stupid question?”

“I’ve been asking most of the questions today,” ‘Choly allowed, stunned to have verbal confirmation that yet another of the group accepted him in some way. “It’s only fair.”

“Alan… It’s really Elaine, isn’t it? Rather, it used to be.”

The chemist bit his lip and sank back on the couch, stiffening.

“Close enough. I’ve been Alan since I stepped foot on the continent. I’m from Russia. What of it?”

Sturges mirrored him and sat back to defuse the stress a bit.

“Psh, it’s nothing. If you’re Alan, you’re Alan. Really, it’s a lot like how I’m Sturges.”

‘Choly squinted at him, and sat back up slowly.

“I really hadn’t met anybody else like me. Like this. Not in the motherland, not before the war, and certainly not here now. Really?”

“It’s more normal than you were led to think. People… change names in the Commonwealth all the time. And no matter the reason, that’s your business. Am I right?”

“Quite right.” ‘Choly didn’t remember the last time he really genuinely smiled. “To be honest, I don’t even feel like an ‘Alan’ anymore. I’ve been going by ‘Melancholy’ since I really started establishing myself again. I’m starting to think I might have gotten as lucky meeting you all, as you did meeting me.”

“Maybe so. I just wanted to make sure you heard it from my mouth, that we’ve got a gob of respect for ya, and not to sweat the little stuff. Listen, I know you said you weren’t hungry, but I’m gonna leave this in case you get peckish.” The can went to the floor beside the couch. “Keep your strength up. Get some rest. I’ll look the house over better in the daylight tomorrow. And we’ll discuss getting this place in order once everybody’s had a chance to recover from the Museum. Sound good?”

“Sounds amazing. Goodnight, Sturges.”

“Goodnight, ah. Melancholy.”

‘Choly resumed getting comfortable on the couch as Sturges left, only for Angel to come in a few minutes later.

“Ah, Sir. You’re awake! I was just tending to the others so that they might bed down for the night. Do tell me if you need anything of me?”

“I… really should eat something,” he resigned, sitting back up with a pained grunt. “Could I… have a Melancholia, please?”

“Certainly, though mind we’ve only got the six left.” It almost tacked on a since you gave the one to Mister Jared, but it knew better, and simply handed over the cherry-sweet refreshment without another word.

As ‘Choly nursed at the drink, he got focused on his leg, and distant on everything else.

“My chem lab survived mostly in tact, and I’ve got plenty of Melancholy’s salt left over. We’ll talk about replenishing my stock in the morning. Right now, I think I underestimated how badly I was injured earlier. Could I have a Stimpak as well, Angel? To the back of my left leg?”

As it administered the requested medication to the gestured-to body part, Angel halted in awareness.

“The Melancholia contains cyclomorphine, Sir?”

“–Just morphine. I swear it.” ‘Choly took another swig off the meal replacement to hide his sweating. He did his best to keep the leg straight while the Stimpak worked its magic on the torn musculature. “I’ve always meant it when I’ve said it’s the only way I got through Deenwood. Meal substitute… and nepenthe.”

Angel was quiet for some time, wringing its tendril-appendages together.

“I haven’t offered it before now, because I haven’t thought it my place to, but Sir… You do have three ampuoles of Addictol in my stores. I am remiss, to have let your penchants get this far out of hand… Did you really mean it, that it’s the only sustenance your constitution’s allowed since you returned from the vault? Or was that the addiction talking?”

“Your cooking is exceptional,” he replied, falling drowsy already. “It’s no knock against your cuisine. You’re handier than any Handy in the kitchen. I’ve done well to keep any food down, fresh or otherwise. The only thing that hasn’t given me trouble is what I have in my hand right now.”

“I understand. And I can’t persuade you to make future batches of Melancholia without its… key ingredient?”

“For you, I would give it a shot… but I can’t promise I’ll continue leaving it out.” This was too heavy a conversation for him, but he couldn’t very well just tell his closest companion to simply shut up. Not when it was expressing a very real concern for his sustained health. “We can take it one day at a time.”

“…If I help you make more Melancholia, can you promise me that you’ll make it the only chem you touch from now on?”

‘Choly swallowed hard on the last bit of the lead-heavy sweet drink, and barely managed to hand the bottle back to the damaged Handy without dropping it.

“I… I owe you that much, after everything that’s happened. I can agree with you that the constant sampling has had… long term adverse effects.”

“You were struggling, but I did not know the extent. I know now to voice my concerns as I encounter them, and that you respect me enough not to dismiss me. I just… I want nothing more than to see you alive and thriving again, Mister Carey. It gives me meaning to have you back in my life again. And I want you here for as long as time allows it.”

“I wouldn’t have lasted a day out here without you. You’re… my guardian angel.”

He would have sworn he saw a sweet smile cross the Handy’s chrome front as he closed his eyes and laid back on the couch.

“Keeping watch over you as you get your beauty sleep, Sir. Rest well.”

He awoke the next morning to find Angel had set out an inhaler on the arm of the couch beside his glasses. Once he had his eyes on again, he looked it over, though he knew what it was without reading it. The Addictol. He realized that while he slept, Angel had covered him up with a hospital blanket and tucked a pillow under his head, and he smiled to himself. He pocketed the inhaler and folded up the blanket into a tidy pile with the pillow, and turned to find Angel come back into the living room.

“Good morning, Sir! I’ve got a fresh pot of coffee brewed for you, and you’ll find a bottle of your Melancholia at the kitchen table as well.”

“Good morning, Angel.” He smiled tiredly, rubbing at his bed head as he shuffled over to the now-rickety aluminum chair. He sat at the peeling linoleum table, and Angel rushed over to open the bottle for him. “Thank you.”

The Handy poured him a cup of coffee and brought it also.

“Do tell me you slept well.”

“Besides the nightmares, I can’t complain.” He alternated between caffeine and morphine, somehow comfortable despite it all. Jokingly, he looked to his Pip-Boy. “Did the Sunday paper come yet?”

“Late as always, Sir.”

“Two hundred years late,” he laughed, nearly crying out of nowhere.

“Oh, dear. Sprung a leak, and I’ve only got a… shop rag to offer you?” It handed him the wadded-up, rust-colored, low thread count square of cloth apologetically. “Was it something I said?”

“No, no.” He sniffed. “I thought I could make light of my situation, but it’s still too soon.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve spent the morning cooking breakfast for the others. Even in the short time we’ve known this group, I’ve grown quite attached. They’ll make fine neighbors, if I do say so.”

“Take care of them all you like. They deserve a little of your brand of affection, after all they’ve been through. And I know it’s a comfort for you to look after them as well. It’s always been your nature.” All the while, ‘Choly ignored that he clutched the Addictol in his pocket. He knew it was an elephant in the room, and he cleared his throat and took another sip of coffee. “No, I haven’t taken it yet. I’m… not ready yet.”

“Not ready?” Angel looked on in confusion. “Addictol isn’t painful, Mister Carey.”

“Not ready… to be addiction-free,” he sighed, setting down both the beverages and the inhaler on the table. “I’m sure you haven’t been able to process why I haven’t taken Addictol before now. I can’t handle just being me again. The withdrawals have been a part of how I see myself for so long, that I don’t know if I’m going to like what I see. It’s been long enough that I’ve forgotten how much of my condition is the withdrawals, and how much of it’s whatever happened to me from the cryogenics. I deserve to be as sick as possible, don’t I? There has to be a cost to me functioning normally. I can’t blame it on the chems, after I take the Addictol. I can’t blame it on something fixable, if I’m still sick. But… I’m done being scared of myself. Of how bad off I am.” He picked up the inhaler again and stared at it in his hands.

“You know I’m still here with you, every step. Even if dispatching your addictions doesn’t solve every health issue that ails you, I promise you that we will find something that will help you. We might even find something that cures you. There has to be something out there that can make it better, easier, for you, Sir. There must be.”

“Just having you here with me is a start,” he smiled. “The fact that despite everything I’ve done, you continue to have confidence that I can do better… You’ve been my everything, Angel. I mean that.”

“You can do it. I know you can.”

‘Choly exhaled his full breath, and, pinching his nose shut with one hand, he held the inhaler to his lips with the other. Depressing the ampuole into the actuator, he took its entire contents in one breath, and he set down the inhaler so he could clamp that hand over his mouth, to hold the aerosol medication in his lungs. He counted to ten, then another five for good measure, since it had so much damage to undo at once. When he finally exhaled, his head swam, and the humidity of the salty substance fogged up his glasses. After a minute, he looked at his hands, and then burst into laughter.

“Just what I was afraid of. I’m still me. Damn it!”

Angel unfroze once it realized he was kidding.

“–Oh, Sir. Thank you. This is the first step on you truly taking care of yourself. I’m so glad you have your humor about you. It’s a sign of good things. I could cry of happiness right now, had I the hardware for it.”

“Once I’ve finished my breakfast, and gotten myself presentable for the day, we should scout the immediate area for hubflower, now that I know what use it is. I’m certain with how many grew in the outskirts of Lexington, that there’s surely some around here. I’ll make a batch of fresh Melancholia this afternoon. I told you I’d make the first batch without it, and I will. But the flowers are just so beautiful. It wasn’t the chems talking, what made me gravitate toward them and start growing them. ”

“Just imagine. I know how you loved your gardening before the war, and I know how absolutely enthralled you were with the hubflowers. They are quite fetching a perennial, I must say. Imagine that we could get the garden thriving here again. Your flowerbeds! You could hedge the yard in hubflower, if you so desired it! And if you do see fit to continue including it in the ingredients of your meal replacement, you wouldn’t have to stray at all to collect it! And… you’d be surrounded by something you consider beautiful.”

“I gardened at the pharmacy because of how badly I missed it here,” ‘Choly admitted, starry-eyed. “Bozhemoy, Angel– I could have that here. We could. I know you loved the garden as much as I did. Between you and Sturges and the others, we just might have a real shot at making Sanctuary habitable again.”

“Most importantly, you haven’t mentioned yet.” It hovered nearer, its ocular lenses clustering near his face. “How are you feeling? Now that you’ve taken your medicine?”

He grinned, heavy-lidded, and caressed two of its three lenses as though to cradle its face in his hands.

“Like the lot of us can achieve just about anything.”

Go to Next »»»

[thirstygirlclub]

Sweet Girl - 3

Chapter 3 – I'm going to f***** scream.

The relief I had felt when I saw that there was a small block of showers on the ferry was only mildly orgasmic. I used Clay's credit card to buy a bottle of 2 in 1 shampoo so I could wash my hair. When I dragged myself under the water I started to feel human again. I washed out all the bits of brain and skull out of the rats nest that I called my hair. I tried not to look at the drain where it was all being collected. I used every last drop of the shampoo to clean myself and as soon as the water ran clear, instead of being a murky brown colour, I stepped out to use the useless hair dryer.

"I thought you had washed down the drain," Jax said when I came out to meet him on the deck of the boat.

I laughed lightly as I threw away the t-shirt and bits of my friends' killer in a bin.

I was feeling slightly better by now. I tried to push the last 24 hours out of my memory but as hard as I did, I couldn't get her face out of my brain. Before I had found the showers, Jax and I had gone to the small clothing store looking for something for me to wear. I went for all black to blend in with my travelling companions, I had told him but I wore a lot of black anyway. He had convinced me to get a leather jacket too, an item that I had never owned in my life.

"No way," I argued with a laugh, "I'll look like such a try hard."

"Just buy the damn thing; you'll look badass. The rest of the girls wear them anyway. You're gonna fit right in."

I purposefully chose clothes that I never would have worn in England. I'm not going to be a business bitch in California, why try to dress like one? I'll have to admit, wearing flat shoes felt nice; I knew I could probably walk for hours in these boots. I was just in a plain black cropped tank top and high-waisted jeans. I was more comfortable in these clothes than in the pencil skirts and high heels but I don't think I looked as good.

"Best get back to Clay, he's tried ringing me about a million times."

Jax showed me his phone and saw that there were 3 missed calls.

When we approached the other men, Chibs let out a low whistle and pushed his sunglasses up onto his head. I twirled around and posed dramatically. Clay held out his hand for the credit card.

I shook my head and took the card out of my pocket to put in his hands but then snatched it away. It was childish, admittedly, but did I regret it? Not at all.

"Come on gents," I said, "Does anyone fancy lunch?"

"Vivania," Clay warned in a low, warning voice.

"Are you seriously trying to parent me right now?"

He was getting angry but I was beginning to think that perhaps stealing his credit card wasn't the best idea but the humour in my cousins eyes told me to carry on.

"I'm not a child," I said, even though I knew full well I was acting like a spoilt teenager, "I bet they're hungry. I know I am."

"It's the least you could do Clay," Jax laughed, "you kind of owe her. Besides, my stomach has been growling all morning."

Clay sighed then walked towards me with a mildly defeated expression.

The cheerful and good humoured atmosphere didn't last long though. Mid way through our lunch, paid for by Clay before he snatched the credit card back, a news report came on.

"Police are still looking for Emilia D'Arcy after yesterday's shooting at the St. Trents School; a private school on the southern English coast," a news reader states as a photograph of me at my college graduation is shown on the screen, "all that is known about the incident is that it involved the Warrens; a notorious and violent American street gang based in California USA. There has been no official ransom notice or photographs. None of Miss D'Arcy's family have come forward as of yet… The weather in the north-"

I shrunk down in my seat as some people turned to eye us suspiciously.

"I think we should get back to the van, Jacky Boy." Chibs said quietly.

Jax nodded and tapped my shoulder before we stood up. I took one last gulp of my tea and followed them out.

"Who are the Warrens?" I asked Jax once we got back to the vehicle.

"A family, rival club. We did them a dirty deal and they took it… personally."

"And I come into it how? How did they find out who I was?"

"They're a family. Your stepdad is called Michael Warren, right?"

Fuck, was my first thought, fucking shit, was my second.

"He's from England. It's a coincidence, surely?"

I started putting things together in my head. It was like some sort weird montage.

All of those men coming into the house when I was a child in their leather vests; the angry phone calls he would make and then throw the phone.

"He is the leader?" I asked Clay.

"No, a brother; sent to run the British charter; Christopher Warren is the pres. of the mother club."

I looked at him just baffled with the whole situation. How had it turned so crazy so fast? The other day I was working towards my degree, my friend was still alive and I was in no known danger.

"I just-" I shrugged in disbelief.

"I'll explain it all when we get home Vivania," Clay said carefully, "but right now we need to stay under the radar. No leaving this van unless you need to piss, got it? Chibs, you and Hap are going with Viv if she needs to leave."

"Babysitters? Really? Are you kidding? I can look after myself."

"Aye," Chibs said and showed me his forearms, "you're scrappy alright."

"Shit," I gasped and gently touched the scratches I had evidently made when they pulled me out of my dorm.

"Scrappy ain't gonna save your life though."

"I am so sorry."

I looked back up to him with wide eyes. I didn't even know I had done it, I didn't know who was pulling me out of that dorm. He had been so kind to me; I felt bad.

"Don't worry about it, I've had worse."

I looked over the scars on his cheeks and frowned. I guess they had been through a lot more than what I had seen. I wondered suddenly how many people they had killed, or had seen die. How much blood had they spilled in the name of the Sons of Anarchy? I shuddered at the thought. I realised I was still staring at him and looked away with a flush on my cheeks. I was sat in a van with, what are essentially, 4 mass murderers. I shrunk back in my seat and stayed mostly quiet for the rest of the journey.

After what felt like weeks, we were back on solid ground and driving through Charming. I couldn't help but smile when I saw the old sign that hadn't changed since I left. To be honest, nothing had changed much. It was more built up than I remembered it being but my memories were so fuzzy it was like it happened to someone else.

"Welcome home, Pumpkin." Clay said with a smile as he pulled into the TM Motors lot.

Stepping out of the van into the hot California sun and onto the forecourt of the garage felt like a dream. My shoes scuffed against the rough ground as I looked around. The only things that had changed were the men walking around in the uniforms and the sign above the work area. Bikes lined the road leading into it and I couldn't help but be mesmerised by how they all shone in the sun. There were girls sitting on them talking to men that did that manly nod to Jax and Clay as we passed them.

"Is that her?!" I heard a voice shout over and whipped my head around to see a tall man with a beard and beanie on, despite the weather.

"Harry?!" I shouted, a look of delight lit up his face and he started walking towards me.

I jogged to him; as soon as we met he laughed and grabbed me into a bear hug, lifting me off my feet with ease. I hugged him back tightly as he spun me around.

"You were just a skinny kid," I said when he put me back on the floor, "what the fuck happened?"

"Same to you," he said and looked me up and down, not like he was checking me out, just like he couldn't believe that I was grown up, "I missed you, kid."

I nodded and held back tears as the others had caught up. There were lots of 'bro hugs' going on and I watched the exchanges with interest. I felt like such an outsider; something I hadn't felt since I started school before I got a name for myself with my… antics. More people were starting to gather around I was introduced to them all, the entire time I was looking for my aunt Gemma. I met with Mr. Winston, although he said to please call him Piney, and hugged him tenderly.

"I swear to god," I said quietly to Chibs after being introduced to Bobby Elvis, "if I hear one more ridiculous name, I'm going to fucking scream."

He chuckled beside me as a man with a Mohawk approached my nervously. He was so sweet looking that I could barely see him as a killer. He smiled at me and scratched the back of his head.

"Hey," he said, "I'm Juice."

"Oh my god." I sighed and heard Chibs laugh beside me.

"What?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, "it's nice to meet you."

Later on that evening I still hadn't seen Aunt Gemma and I was getting tense. I had been promised that I would see her at the "family dinner" which wasn't just Gemma, Clay, Jax and I; it was the whole club. I had met most of them already except for a few that were out on a "run". I said bye and see you later to the guys and Clay drove me to his and Gemma's place. It was the first time we had been alone since the school. I was nervous and tired but mostly hungry.

The smell of cooking hit me as soon as I walked in and my stomach growled.

"Vee!?"

I recognised the voice as soon as I heard it. When she came to the hallway where I was stood with my arms folded nervously. I had missed her so much.

"C'mere Baby," she said and I ran into her open arms.

She hadn't changed at all, not really. I hugged her so tightly that she had to tell me to loosen my grip. I apologised but didn't let go.

Back when I was a child, Aunt Gemma was one of the only sources of stability in my young life. She always had me over to her house to sleep if my mother was going particularly crazy; there was always a bed for me there. That's where I had been when I was taken away.

"It's ok, darlin'," she whispered into my hair, "you're safe here."

I nodded and pulled away. She cupped my face with her hands and kissed my forehead gently before taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen where I saw a couple of other women chopping up vegetables and working over pots. She introduced me to Luanne and Lila.

"Do you need me to help?" I asked after I had greeted them.

"Can you make any desserts?" Luanne asked, "I don't think I'm gonna have time."

"Yeah sure. What have you got?"

I spent the latter part of the afternoon helping the other ladies in the kitchen talking about my school life and the mischief I had got up to with Anya. They laughed when I told them about the different guys I had slept with and why I had broken up with them.

"He legitimately thought he was a werewolf!" I told them as they laughed, "He used to howl when he came and it was the funniest thing! I could never keep a straight face."

"Private school isn't quite all it looks on the TV, huh?" Aunt Gemma said before tasting my cake batter, "that's delicious, by the way."

I grinned, happy that I had impressed her.

Once everything was finished the others had started to arrive and my stomach started turning in knots when I heard their voices.

"Go and get cleaned up, hon; we'll see you in a minute." Gemma said.

After I had washed my hands I followed the cacophony of noise coming from where I guessed the dining room was. There was a huge table, lined with people. It was amazing. Jax had come over immediately with his son in his arms and his girlfriend by his side.

"Hi," she said with a welcoming smile, "I'm Tara. Jax has told me all about you; what he didn't Gemma did."

I laughed but wasn't embarrassed; they were some funny stories.

Gemma was at one end of the table while Clay was at the other end. Jax and Tara sat up near Clay with Opie and Chibs. There was only a couple of people I hadn't met, one of them was a handsome guy with amazing blue eyes and dark hair. He walked over to me, picked up my hand and kissed it. I laughed but felt myself blushing slightly.

"Hello beautiful lady," he said, "I'm Alexander Trager, but you can call me Tig."

"I'm Emi- I'm Vivania." using my real name will take some getting used too, "It's nice to meet you Tig."

"Down boy!" Chibs shouted over and threw a bread roll at the back of Tig's head.

The latter whipped around and went to throw it back but Gemma had barked at them to grow up. Immediately, they stopped and behaved themselves. I looked at her with an amused expression; impressed that she could get the big, bad biker guys to shut up and sit down. Gemma winked at me and patted the space next to her so I could sit down.

Dinner went by quite well, I chatted and was charismatic although I felt so nervous I thought I was going to faint. It came back to the realisation I had in the van. I was sat at a table full of killers but watching them interact and listening to them talking to each other made it hard to believe. Soon though, conversation had turned to the Warrens. I was listening really intently.

"So," Chibs said as he took a third slice of my chocolate cake, "what are we gonna do about those fuc- um… pricks?"

"We can't just go in guns blazing," Clay said with a casual sip of beer, "there'll be all sorts of complications with their allies. We've got to be careful."

"So undercut their business," I said and looked between them and all the other people around the table looked at me, "they supply guns too right?"

They nodded.

I said ,"okay, then take away their business. If they bought the guns from SOA to then sell onto other people then they could offer to cut out the middle man, sell them the product for cheaper therefore making the Warrens part of the deal obsolete. They could get the contacts from the Warrens system, which wouldn't be hard to do, if my stepdad's lack of computer knowledge was anything to go by, and contact them directly."

"Ok…" Clay nodded slowly, mulling over my idea, "and how do we get them to bite? They are gonna go to the Warrens if they are close enough."

"No offence," I said with a smile, "they're all criminals, just like you. If you guys were offered a new price, which your enemies weren't going to get, would you tell people about it? Unlikely. Getting them to take the offer is the hard part, find out what they like. Drugs, guns, girls? Whatever it is, deliver it to them, for free as a thank you, with some of your best men as guard dogs. You need to make it seem like you care about them; make them think you value their business.

"Once you've got them and their other clientele, the Warrens go out of business; they leave to find someone else to sell your guns too. You take their business, you take their land and you can expand not only the SOA but Teller-Morrow motors. You can raise your prices slowly until they are paying the same amount that they were paying the Warrens and your guys are rolling in the dough."

They were looking impressed with my idea and a warm feeling of pride was spreading through me.

"Baking and criminally minded," Tig said with a sly smile, "how are you still single?"

"Just lucky I guess," I shrugged, winking at him.

A discussion ensued about the new plan. I felt a warm hand on my arm and looked over to Gemma who was looking at me with a proud smile and nodding. They were talking about the Warren's buyers, who they were and what they liked. Clay tapped his beer bottle on the table silencing everybody.

"Ok, I know we're all excited, but let's talk about this more tomorrow in Church. Before we do anything, I want to run it by my daughter," he pointed at me with his bottle, "she'll be the brains behind the operation."

By then it was far too late, everyone that had brought their children had gone home along with some others. The only people left around the table were myself, Clay, Chibs, Jax and Tig just drinking and talking. It felt nice, honestly, normal. I felt almost at home. I could hear Gemma clattering around in the kitchen as she cleaned up and conversation had turned back to my time at the school. I poured myself some more wine as I answered their questions.

"So," Jax asked, "how many languages do you actually speak?"

"Like 4 fluently, not including English. I speak, Spanish, Russian, French and Italian. Oh and Latin but nobody knows what that actually sounds like so I don't really count it."

"Clever girl," Chibs said with a slight slur in his voice.

I shrugged again and drained the rest of the bottle of wine into my glass although I was feeling extremely drowsy. I wasn't even sure if I would be able to find the room that had been set up for me. I stood up, with my wine in hand, and announced that I was going to bed. I leant down and kissed Jax on the cheek before going to leave but I heard Tig go, 'Um, what about us?' so I turned and kissed the others to, saying goodnight as I went round the table.

"Good to have you back, Kid." Clay said seriously after I stood up back up from him.

I nodded silently and moved over to Chibs, placing my arm around his shoulders to pull him closer before planting a gentle kiss on his scarred cheek.

"Goodnight Chibs, thanks for coming to get me," I said to him as I stood back up.

"Don't worry about it," he said quietly, looking almost shy.

When I got to Tig I laughed; he had stood up with his arms open wide. I stepped close to him and hugged him, careful not to spill my wine. He kissed me hard on the lips.

"Goodnight Tigger." I laughed and stepped away.

I had stumbled up the stairs with my head spinning and vision blurry. I did find the bedroom eventually, thanks to Gemma coming out of her bedroom and pointed me in the right direction. I collapsed fully clothed on the bed and fell asleep straight away.

Sorry!: that was a bit more cheerful, wasn't it? Sorry for the late update, I was meaning for this to be up yesterday but it turned out to be a bit hectic for me on a personal level but hopefully you'll forgive me? I made this one at least 1000 words longer than my previous chapters. I just couldn't stop writing! I probably rambled a lot but I have set up the subplot that I'm hoping to carry on with during this story.

Thanks for all the lovely comments guys! I have really needed something positive to look at these past couple of days and I just kept rereading them. I know it sounds sad but this is the first ever thing I have ever put of mine anywhere for people to see and all your nice words mean a lot to me.

Enough rambling!

Thanks again,

Love, Doe xx

[face-turn]

Sang About Tomorrow

Pairing: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose (The Shield)  Words: 2.5k Rating: E A/N: this is kind of a part one, but i’m not titling it a part one because as you likely know, I’m bad at delivering on promises. this has been sitting for A While, is all i’m saying Tags: let me know if you want to be tagged  @sleeplessandcynical @breadclubrising @kidvoodoo​ @nogooddeanambrose 

“Dean, I swear on my life that this place is haunted.” Seth looks like a pissy little cat, hair dripping wet into his face and towel clutched around his hips.

“S’not haunted,” Dean sighs, flipping through another channel on the television. Survivorman? Fuck yeah. “Got it checked out when I bought it ‘cos I really wanted to live in a haunted house. Did my best, man.”

Seth makes a yowling sort of noise and stomps back to the bathroom, yelling for Roman to quit fucking with the door, then. He doesn’t slam the door, but Dean’s almost completely sure that’s just ingrained suburban mom manners stopping him. If Seth had been thinking, he definitely would have slammed it.

Roman pokes his head into the living room from the kitchen, wiping his hands off on a dishtowel. Dean has not a damn clue what he’s cooking, but it smells fucking incredible. Roman always cooks up a storm when he visits Dean’s barely-used kitchen; he thinks it’s a big waste for Dean’s kitchen to be as well-equipped and rarely-touched as it it. Dean’s pretty sure the kitchen will get over it. It has Roman Reigns as a booty call.

“What’s Seth yelling at me about?” Roman wanders over to drop the dishtowel over Dean’s head. Dean shrugs eloquently, tipping his face up so Roman would feel compelled to kiss him. Roman obliges, because he’s a big sucker for Dean’s wiles.

“I’unno. Said you should stop fuckin’ with the door handle while he’s showering or whatever. I gotta be totally honest about my listening skills here, man-- he was wet and mad, I’m just--” Dean makes a ‘pshhhh’ noise, waving one hand illustratively through the air. Roman nods sagely. They’ve both been there.

“Hate to see him leave,” Roman begins, and Dean finishes the second part with him, “love to watch him go.”

Roman laughs and returns to the kitchen, whisking the towel off of Dean’s head as he goes. It ruffles Dean’s hair into his eyes, briefly blocking his view of knock-off Bear Grylls carrying around a bundle of lit.. grasses? Shit? It doesn’t matter. Either way, watching the man huff into it is enough to keep Dean entertained while listening to Roman clattering around and Seth companionably bitching about how fucking cold his hallway is, shit, Dean, his nipples can cut glass.

“It’s hot as fuck in here,” Roman protests when Seth starts making motions to turn up the thermostat. “Oven’s on, babe, just leave it. Let Dean warm you up.”

“Yeah, babe,” Dean waggles his eyebrows at the T.V. even though Seth can’t see it. He’s sure it comes through in his tone. “Let me warm you up with my big, masculine arms. You know what they say about the desert at night.”

The couch bounces as Seth throws himself onto it, squirming into Dean’s lap and nearly knocking over his lukewarm beer.

“Do they say that it’s empty and you have to eat your friends to survive it?”

Dean tsks, bending double to smack a kiss to Seth’s wet hair. “No, you shitbird, it’s cold-- so you gotta cuddle for warmth, you know?”

Seth makes a deeply dubious face and steals Dean’s beer. Drinking it laying down doesn’t go so hot, but it’s the gesture. “S’fine, it’s warm out here. Hallway just had the weirdest draft.”

“Not enough to make you put a shirt on, though,” Dean hums, tweaking Seth’s nipple and laughing at his disgruntled yelp. “Fuckin’ exhibitionist.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t love it,” Seth sneers, doing a crunch so he can take a long swallow of Dean’s beer. Condensation drips onto his belly and Dean just about chokes on his tongue.

“I mean-- yeah.” Dean says, and pets Seth’s hair as he relaxes, sleek and self-satisfied. Seth’s always had a streak of vanity a mile wide, but now it’s undercut by a gulch of out-of-place insecurity. It’s easy as fuck to get him preening like a peacock, but since they broke up (and fuck, is it weird to think about that in the past tense; it shakes Dean up a little to think about how they were broken up and now they aren’t), a word the wrong way can get Seth looking upset and flinchy. S’weird. Everything with Seth is just this side of weird, now.

They play-act at normalcy, and maybe that’s why it’s so weird; they’ve never been normal, the three of them. Their jagged edges all fit together just right, and it’s weird having Seth try and round himself out to fit up against Dean. As if Dean hasn’t seen all the broken shit in him and thought ‘fuck yeah’. Seth had been the one who left, after all. Roman and Dean had been left alone to grind their sharp edges against each other until they went to diamond.

Roman interrupts Dean’s train of thought by coming out of the kitchen, carrying the steamer like a proud parent with his hair a little frazzled and face a touch pink around the edges. He presents them with layers of gleaming-- buns? Dumplings? Bun..plings?-- that are both delicious and hot as fuck. Dean burns his mouth repeatedly while they all watch probably-not-Bear-Grylls set up a tent out of a parachute.

After a while, Seth starts letting Roman feed him bites, snapping them from between his fingers with bared teeth and soft tongue. It’s strangely sexy, even with Survivorman on in the background. Seth laying across his and Roman’s laps licking shreds of bread and pork from between Roman’s fingers is-- kind of doing it for Dean, frankly.

“Yeah?” Roman says pointedly, raising his eyebrows at Dean. Dean has to tear his eyes away from Seth, who’s looking blissed out and kind of-- like, listen, the food is good, but it’s not orgasm good.

“Uh-huh,” Dean says, and lets that lay between them. He tears a bite off of his bun-dumpling (it’s keke pua’a, uce, I make them with my hands and this is what I get?) and offers it to Seth, who looks at him from under lowered lashes and takes it with just his tongue, soft bread sticking. And, well. That about does it for Dean; stick under the broiler to finish, this motherfucker’s done.

“That’s pretty good,” Roman says hoarsely, speaking for both of them. Seth blinks slowly at them, surprised by not alarmed by them both suddenly vibrating underneath him. He’s flush with the pleasure of good food and a compliment, and Dean wants to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him.

“No pressure,” Dean starts, shifting Seth’s head a little so it’s a touch further away from his dick. “But you’re pretty as fuck and I wanna nail you through the couch.”

Seth smiles one of quicksilver smiles, arching and wriggling a little in a way that puts his hips a little more firmly up against Roman’s thigh.

“Yeah?” He says, tipping his face up to look at Dean.

“Yeah, uce,” Roman says, and leans down to kiss the silly smile off of Seth’s face. The couch is too small for this, but it hasn’t complained yet and neither will Dean. He tags in when Roman disengages, Seth panting between hot kisses that barely let him get enough air.

Seth’s by far the least dressed of the three of them, which suits them fine; peel him out of Roman’s overlarge sweatpants (he’s always been a fucking clothes thief, the little shit) and he’s naked, sandwiched between them and vulnerable. He’s pretty clearly pleasantly overwhelmed, sighing noises into Dean’s mouth as Roman maps out his vulnerable ribcage with callused fingertips.

“Gonna get in this,” Dean mumbles, palming Seth’s ass and mouthing kisses down his neck. “Gonna bang you like a screen door in a hurricane.”

Roman snorts, pinching Dean’s side through his shirt. He’s always thought Dean’s version of dirty talk is hysterical, and apparently changing the outlet has not changed the humor.

Dean bites Seth harder than he maybe means to, and instead of yelping or whining like he might have once, Seth moans and claws into a kiss. Oh, yeah? Roman’s eyebrows say over Seth’s shoulder, and Dean is too busy sucking Seth’s tongue to respond but his own reaction is pretty emphatic, too.

“I’m gonna finger you open, babe,” Roman says, plastering himself all along Seth’s back and dragging sharp teeth across the top knob of his spine. “S’okay?”

Seth’s nodding before Roman even finishes, ‘cause-- shit, yeah. Dean relates. Roman saying anything with that tone is pretty much irresistible. Sometimes Roman pulls it out when he wants Dean to pick up fuckin’-- onions, or whatever. It’s pretty effective.

Roman makes a rough, pleased noise and swings away, presumably to find the bottle of lube that he knows Dean has squirreled away in the kitchen. What? It’s not like he uses it for anything else.

Dean occupies himself by giving Seth a truly terrible looking hickey, the kind that he’s gonna have to keep his shirt on to cover up. By the time it occurs to him that Seth maybe doesn’t want a hickey that makes him look like he’s gone ten rounds with a vacuum, it’s way too late. Well. Better to ask forgiveness than permission.

Seth catches Dean’s mouth in a kiss, undulating in his lap in a way that makes Dean, for the first time in his entire life, fervently thank God for Crossfit.

“Missed this ass,” Dean mumbles into Seth’s mouth, grabbing at it to really illustrate his point.

“It missed you.” Seth says distractedly, rubbing his dick against Dean’s stomach and grabbing at his shoulders.

“Aw,” Dean gets out, and then Roman is back and things are slip-sliding into sexy, sexy flashes. Roman’s fingers slippery against the crease of Seth’s ass, dripping lube on Dean’s jeans. One finger, two fingers, Seth begging, now now now, Dean’s dick pressing hard against the fly of his jeans.

Dean feels like he’s having a fucking stroke, he wants to fuck Seth so bad. Roman’s already there, doing the Lord’s work, pressing into Seth with a slow, steady slide that shoves Seth all up against Dean’s chest.

“Baby,” Dean rasps, touching Seth’s shivering ribs and his hipbones and the place where Roman has him stretched wide. It ekes a whine out of Seth, sends him rocking back on Roman and scrabbling for purchase against Dean’s chest. “Damn, baby.”

“Less talking,” Seth grits out, sharply biting Dean’s jaw and then shuddering all over when Roman shoves into him. It’s fucking hot, plastered together and sweating all over each other. There is hair fucking everywhere. It’s the best thing Dean’s ever felt, and his dick is still in an exclusive relationship with the zip of his jeans.

“Ask him for the moon while you’re at it,” Roman laughs low, looping one of his arms around Seth’s belly to shift the angle a little. “Dean’s never shut up in his life.”

Dean thinks about arguing, but, well-- he is who he is. “You don’t tell da Vinci to stop painting,” he says with an affected sniff, restlessly petting Seth’s jawline. “Likewise, you do not tell Dean Ambrose to--”

“Dean,” Seth begs, tilting his face up. He’s jolting forward every time Roman thrusts into him, making sweet little noises, and suddenly Dean doesn’t feel like continuing the bit.

“Baby,” Dean tips forward so he can lick the moans out of Seth’s mouth. He struggles with his fly one-handed, because he suddenly really really needs out of his pants. “Oh, baby, Rome’s getting you so good, huh?”

Roman grinds his hips in a dirty little circle and Seth’s voice cracks high on a moan, ‘cause Roman is deep deep deep and probably it hurts a little, but Seth’s dick is dripping on the couch so maybe he’s into that.

“Dean, you should fuck his mouth,” Roman says in that dark sort of tone. “Look at him, he needs it. Don’t you, Seth?”

“Overestimating your own-- ff-ucking, ah-- importance, in me getting off,” Seth bitches, but basically falls face-first onto Dean’s dick anyway.

“Yeah, babe, keep faking like you got off just as hard without us,” Roman says, low and dirty and hot. “No one can get you there like we do. You’re too fuckin’ desperate to go it alone.”

Seth makes a strangled, furious sort of noise and comes into Roman’s hand, shoving his hips back and clawing at Dean’s hipbones. Dean starts laughing, which only makes Seth madder, and Dean pulls out before he gets his dick bitten off. Roman is still shoving into Seth, now chasing his own orgasm with a single minded intensity that makes Dean’s stomach twist in sympathy.

Seth mouths weakly at the tip of Dean’s dick, shuddering forward every time Roman thrusts. It’s not even sexy, he’s just breathing, but Dean’s suddenly fucking desperate to come. He tangles one hand in Seth’s hair and thumbs his mouth open, pressing in to the rhythm that Roman’s set.

Seth’s honestly too out of it to suck, more just letting Dean choke him over and over with his dick. His eyelashes are long fluttering against his cheeks, and he’s tearing up a little from Dean’s dick in his throat, and oh fuck.

Roman shoves in hard and then goes shiveringly still, one of his hands grabbing for Dean’s shoulder. It hurts, pressing hard into bone, and that’s what tumbles Dean off the edge. Seth takes it like a champ, swallowing hard because if there’s anything he hates more than getting jizz in his hair, it’s getting jizz on a leather couch.

“Fuuuck.” Roman says, patting weakly at Seth’s ass like he’s congratulating it on a good game. Seth snarls and kicks weakly, but he’s too fucked up to do much more.

Dean lazily stretches out an arm for a fist bump, because yeah. Nice job everyone, asspats all around. Seth bit him on the hip last time he offered, but prior failures have never deterred Dean.

“Fuck off of me,” Seth mumbles, flopping off of the couch. “Jesus, I want to go to bed.”

“Jizz sheets,” Dean sing-songs, rolling off the couch to pull a couple of paper towels off the roll.

“I don’t give a fuck, I’ll sleep out here,” Seth says, tipping his hips up so Dean can do a cursory clean-up job. “Your couch has seen worse than my dick.”

“Nothing’s worse than your dick,” Roman says, tugging Seth into his lap and tucking him up underneath his chin. They make a pretty-as-shit picture, all snuggled together, and if Dean were technologically inclined, he’d take a picture.

As it is, he throws the used paper towels on the hardwood and curls close. If he’s stealthy enough, Seth will probably let him doze on him while Survivorman plays through.

[entergamingxp]

Ian’s top ten best PSVR games of 2019 • Eurogamer.net

Welcome one and all to this year’s exciting instalment of the Ian’s VR Corner Top Ten list where I’ll be going over my ten favourite PSVR games of 2019. As per usual, the following list is completely my opinion and it only features games that I myself have played, so if I’ve missed out one of your favourites, chances are it’s either because I thought it was a bit bobbins, or that I just didn’t have time to give it a go. Either way, please do share the love for your favourite PSVR games of 2019 in the comments below and hopefully, together, we can inspire others to try them out too.

You can check out the video version of this list just below these words where you can watch footage of each game featured or, if reading is more your thing, you’ll find my entire top ten list just under that.

10 – Ghost Giant

Anyone who has watched the Ghost Giant episode of Ian’s VR Corner will know that I had a fair few issues with the game’s motion controls, or more specifically, the fiddliness of picking things up that were just a little too far out of reach. Thankfully, there’s a lot more to Ghost Giant than just its control scheme and I was able to push past those faults and appreciate the emotionally charged story at its core.

In terms of production values, Ghost Giant is way up there and it actually shares a lot of similarities with Moss, one of my favourite games of 2018. The level of detail in Ghost Giant is incredible and the paper-craft dioramas that make up the levels look stunning in VR. It almost feels like you’re sat, centre stage in your very own Tim Burton movie, able to reach in and touch and interact with every inch of the world.

I didn’t just enjoy playing around and exploring these ultra detailed, model villages though, I was also enthralled by the life and personality of the characters that were expertly animated and voice acted. If you can look past the unwieldy interactions caused by the less than accurate Move controllers you’ll find a beating heart which is full of sweetness and sadness and there lies a story that will stick with you for a long, long time.

9 – Everybody’s Golf VR

Someone famous once said that golf is a good walk spoiled, so it’s probably a good job then that Everybody’s Golf VR is a completely stationary experience. By cutting out all those boring strolls it means the game and its players can concentrate on pure, unadulterated virtual golfing across three gorgeous, 18 hole courses.

As the name would suggest, Everybody’s Golf is indeed for everybody. That means seasoned golfers will instantly be able to enjoy batting their balls around while newcomers can make use of an incredibly intuitive in-game interface to practice swings and judge the power and angle of each shot before going all in for a hole in one. The tracking of the Move controller is pretty much spot on with Everybody’s Golf VR and I didn’t notice any kind of drift or inaccuracy at all. Holding a single Move controller with two hands like you would the grip on a club feels just like you’re holding the real thing and this adds a lovely sense of immersion to the already relaxed vibe of the game.

While Everybody’s Golf VR is slightly watered down compared to other games from the series, especially when it comes to the lack of multiplayer, it does feel like a perfect fit for PSVR and it’s an ideal starting point for any golf enthusiasts out there who may be nervous about trying VR for the first time.

8 – Falcon Age

It’s hard not to fall in love with Falcon Age after mere minutes of playing it and a lot of that has to do with your cute as hell companion, whom I decided to name, Pudding. Pudding is a falcon that you raise from a squeaking ball of feathers into a fully grown, mech murdering bird of prey and it’s pretty safe to say that caring for Pudding is probably the closest I’ve probably come to treating a VR animal as if it were a real-life living being.

Falcon Age is a rather compact open-world affair in which you stick it to awful robotic industrialists one act of sabotage and rebellion at a time. You head out into this world with a neat whip-baton thing in one hand and Pudding on your other, and you can send pudding to attack things, collect things, yank things about and then hold them up while you give them a good shoeing.

Just having Pudding there on your fist makes you think about it on a very emotional level. Seeing Pudding get hungry was enough to make me want to learn the rudiments of the cooking system, but pulling spikes out of her after a fight genuinely made me furious in a way a dog owner might be if someone mistreated their beloved pooch while they were out on a walk. This is a game about nurturing, about trust, about friendship and loyalty and about having an awesome Falcon friend who’ll do your bidding and smash evil robots for you. I love you, Pudding.

7 – Sairento VR

You know that bit in The Matrix when Keanu Reeves goes, “I know Kung Fu!”? Well I had a few moments of realisation just like that during my first hands-on session with the PSVR port of Sairento VR. Don’t go into Sairento VR expecting to be a badass from the off though. There’s an incredibly steep learning curve here and there’s a lot of things you’ll need to learn in order to feel comfortable when navigating the levels.

In fact, this game should definitely be thought of as being on the extreme end of the comfort scale because it expects you to do double jumps, bounce off or run along walls and scale great heights. All whilst swinging swords, shooting guns and triggering super cool slow mo super powers. The first couple of levels really ease you into things, but by the third, the action is relentless and enemies come at you rapidly, shooting and hitting you from all angles.

This onslaught can be terribly frustrating at first but it forces you to learn quickly and it won’t be long before you’re chaining leaps and bounds together with slow-motion headshots and slick slide kills where you split opponents in two with your blade. When everything does start to click, the combat becomes so absorbing that it’s easy to forget about the normal world that exists outside of your headset. That’s why it’s well worth putting in the hours to practice your skills because when everything is going your way and you’re flowing through the levels, Sairento VR is one hell of an experience.

6 – Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion HD Renovation

Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion HD Renovation is the first game in the world to have ever made me swear at a piece of toast and for that it instantly gets a thumbs up from me.

This VR remake of the cult classic PC horror game sees you trapped inside an ever changing maze comprised of 1000 different rooms, each one potentially home to a jump scare or two. Despite the budget look to the graphics and a rather slow start, I was surprised by just how scary Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion could be. Being stalked through the rooms by some of the games more unsettling specimens would honestly be bad enough in the flat version of the game, but in VR it’s panic inducing as you can almost feel their physical presence gaining on you as you try to escape.

That feeling of being chased never gets old either, as the rooms, locations and your pursuers keep changing in unexpected and unpredictable ways. Basically it’s like dropping acid and going to a Halloween Horror Fright Night even at Thorpe Park, except you won’t need to drop acid and there won’t be a massive queue to get in. Now hurry up and release this in the EU please, Albino Moose Games!

5 – Trover Saves the Universe

If you didn’t already know, Trover Saves the Universe is made by Squanch Games, a development studio run by Justin Roiland of Rick and Morty fame. So, if that kind of wacky, sweary, tasteless and self-referential sci-fi humour is your bag, Trover Saves the Universe will have you covered. In spit and poop, mainly…

Playing a bit like an Astrobot for adults, Trover Saves the Universe sees you galavanting around the galaxy, intruding on the often disgusting inhabitants of Alien worlds, all whilst trying to rescue your two pet dogs from the eye sockets of the evil Glorkon who is hell bent on destroying life as we know it.

There’s a fairly big game here and it basically includes everything you’d expect from a standard 3D platformer like combat, jumping, bounce pads, puzzles and item collecting. Everything in Trover has this dark and disgusting Roiland twist to it though and this leaves you constantly surprised and occasionally sickened by the events that occur. The bonkers scenarios and the imaginative characters that live within them are often either comically creepy or absurdly annoying and as such, fans of Rick and Morty are bound to be in VR heaven with Trover. For some, this constant barrage of weird humour may be a little too overwhelming and that’s totally understandable, but I played it through twice because I’m also super weird.

4 – Borderlands 2 VR

Technically Borderlands 2 VR came out in 2018, but it appeared on the Playstation store so late in December that my Top Ten list for that year had already been published. In fact, I didn’t even feature it on Ian’s VR Corner until January when I came back from my Christmas holidays so its inclusion on this list totally counts. Totally.

Far from being a short spin-off experience, Borderlands 2 VR is a complete conversion of the flat game, featuring the full 25+ hour campaign. Plus, after the release of the free Bad Ass MegaFun DLC pack in September of this year, it also includes the four add on story missions and a bunch of upgrade packs too. That’s a lotta bang for your buck indeed!

I had a lot of fun when Borderlands 2 VR first came out, but when Aim controller support was added in another update, the game just got better. Being able to hold, admire and shoot any of the bazillion guns that are available to you in VR while holding the aim controller just adds to the immersion and it makes shooting all those Bullymongs and bandits feel super satisfying. Borderlands 2 VR is an incredibly well produced title that looks beautiful in 3D so it’s well worth revisiting if you’ve played the game before in flat version. If this is your first trip to Pandora however, this is a must buy that’ll keep you busy for ages. WUB, WUB, WUB!

3 – Ace Combat 7

I’m absolutely terrified of flying in real life but flying in VR? Well that is a completely different story, especially when it comes to Ace Combat 7’s VR levels. There may only be three unique missions available in the VR portion of the game but when they’re this gorgeous, this exhilarating and this immersive, you’ll find plenty of excuses to replay them. I mean, I certainly did!

There’s just so much to love here, from the ultra detailed, interactive inheritors of the cockpits and the adrenaline pumping intensity of the VR dog-fights, through to the way that water droplets roll across your aircraft’s canopy as you leave thick cloud cover and burst out into the sunlight and thunder your way towards yours foes.

The sense of speed, power and of just ‘being there in the moment’ is truly exceptional here, so it’s a damn shame that Ace Combat 7’s biggest fault is that only a small portion of the game is playable in VR. Please, Bandai Namco, give us a full VR campaign and I promise you, I’ll buy it twice! Ace Combat 7 may have come out right at the start of 2019 but I still think about its VR missions regularly and I pull out my HOTAS and strap myself into my jumpseat whenever I get the chance.

2 – No Man’s Sky Beyond

No Man’s Sky Beyond is almost the perfect VR game. It’s infinite, it’s incredibly immersive and if it wasn’t for the low resolution of the visuals, I could quite easily spend a large portion of my life just pootling around the galaxy digging through planets for valuable minerals like some kind of space age mole man.

The experience of exploring the universe in No Man’s Sky in VR is every bit as jaw dropping and massive as you could have hoped for but the ever present blur does kill the magnificence a bit. All those stunning vistas and the mysterious alien flora and fauna that you may remember from the flat version now look like indistinct smudges on the horizon and this works towards dampening that awesome sense of discovery that made the exploration so compelling.

Get past that though as you’ll find that the rest of the game is an absolute joy to play. The sense of scale in VR is amazing and the ability to fly around from planet to planet and galaxy to galaxy while being encased in the game is incomparable to anything else I’ve played in VR. This is a straight up, never-ending VR adventure and depending on your patience for the survival genre, you could easily end up spending countless hours exploring brand new world after brand new world. No Man’s Sky Beyond is an amazing achievement and I’d recommend it to anyone with a VR headset, if only to get a taste of what VR adventures could be like in the future, if the platform continues to grow and expand.

1 – Blood and Truth

Right now, at the point of writing this feature, everyone in the world is getting excited about a brand new James Bond trailer. Everyone that is except me, because this year, thanks to Blood and Truth, I was James Bond.

The beauty of Blood and Truth though is that I wasn’t just James Bond, I was actually loads of things. I was a soldier in a warzone, a cockney gangster literally riding shotgun in a sports car and I was even some kind of parkour hitman, dodging machine gun fire from a helicopter as I legged it across the floors of a barely built block of flats before throwing myself through some plate glass windows as I shot enemies in the face during some glorious scenes of slow-motion gun-fu.

In Blood and Truth you are the star of your very own action movie, no more passively watching the action unfold on a flat screen, oh no. Here you’re right there in the thick of it, catching and throwing back live grenades, dual wielding pistols and generally living out all of those action movie fantasies that you never thought would come true. There’s an excellent supporting cast who’re brought to life by some top notch voice acting and motion capture and this serves to give you a real connection to the characters in some of the slower paced scenes, while each action set piece is just varied enough to make you constantly gasp out loud with the thrill of it all.

The gunplay is excellent too and while the on rails nature of the gameplay could be seen as a turn off for some, it keeps the pace rattling along and allows the developers to do some really clever and unexpected things with VR. If you own a PSVR you need this game and that’s the bloody truth of it.

And that, my lovely friends, is that! Hopefully you enjoyed this look back at my favourite PSVR games of 2019 but if I did miss any of your favourites out, do remember to tell us about them in the comments! Before I wander off to snaffle some pre-Christmas mince pies, I’d just like to say a big thank you to each and everyone of you for the continued support you’ve been giving my VR coverage. Can you believe Ian’s VR Corner has been going for over a year and a half now? Crazy!

Here’s hoping things get even more exciting for VR in 2020, whether that’s for PSVR or for the wider range of headsets, because if 2019 has proven anything at all, it’s that VR just keeps getting bigger and better and it’s definitely not going to go away any time soon! If this list is the first you’ve seen of my VR coverage by the way, Ian’s VR Corner happens every Sunday on this channel so do pop on over and subscribe for more VR videos whenever they’re uploaded. Oh and of course, do have a lovely Christmas and a wonderful new year!

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2019/12/ians-top-ten-best-psvr-games-of-2019-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ians-top-ten-best-psvr-games-of-2019-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net