#please teach me Augustine

[majorgammage]

I’M SORRY, were we just gonna GLOSS OVER the fact Ianthe knows SO MUCH MORE than she ever lets on in htn and ntn?? My brain completely glossed over this part and holy—

[m0chisenpai]

Can you write a fic about Jake sully x reader where she has a terrible father and she completely shut him out of her life and one day he comes back for reader and Jake is just super protective over her? <3

father!jake sully x daughter!reader

You often forget you were once human along with your adoptive father. Then moments would ground you, and remind you of that little star in the sky you’d once call home. And the primal look in your fathers eye right now looked far from human.

You’d never heard your father hiss like that before and you hoped you never did again. Usually, when you did he would playfully bare his fangs at you and you would copy him with a fit of giggles. But his teeth now bared in a show of dominance against the man who held your arm in his. 

“Let her go�� Jake spat out and the man immediately tightened his grip. You felt like the world would end right then and there, the new life you’d knit together came unraveling in front of you.

Your father made a name for himself as soon as he caught wind of Pandora. When you were younger you were naive to it. All you knew was that daddy would spoil you with a pretty little dress, and a bigger dollhouse cause he got special rocks from this planet in the sky. 

Then you got older and you heard things, whispers from the cracked doors of that study. How he was investing his money toward some foreign element with an old college buddy, Parker Selfridge. You were still a child, just well into entering those double digits, but all you knew was from that day on every gift your father gave burned your hands.

You would have given anything to get away from your father. Perhaps you were only there to carry the name, but you ran from that gilded cage long ago. You convinced Grace Augustine you were some young prodigy in the making and the woman was more than welcome to teach you about the plant life on the planet and about the Na’vi people. 

Life was beautiful again. Following the war, you found this as a gift from Eywa herself, the chance to love and be loved by a real family. Neytiri spent her days on the hunt even while pregnant and you trained by her side, learning the ways of the hunter and the future Tsahik. She loved you fiercely and saw you as hers despite not sharing blood. 

None of you expected a search party to be placed, yet here you stood in the grasp of the man who once called you father. Jake saw red when he heard your cries and found you in the arms of the man. His heart thudded in his ears, the world around him a blur as you had his entire focus. 

His eyes calculated every nervous shift the man whom you once called father stepped back with you held tight. “Y/N tell that thing you are not one of them.”

This only elicited another primal hiss and fangs bared at him and your father finally released you and took a slow step back. “Ok, ok.” He finally released you from his hold and you quickly ran to Jake who kept his eyes trained onto the human but reached a hand back to press into your stomach. 

“Y/N, baby I know things went so badly wrong. But please. Come home baby, we miss you. We’ll do what we can to fix you back and mama is home ready and waiting. Please baby.” And you felt tears fall, because it was all a lie. Your father used that very tone when you ran up to him in a fit of tears begging to know if your friends were true, that Santa wasn’t real. And he rubbed his hand down your back and cooed at you with syrupy words that the man was indeed real.

Those sticky sweet words make your stomach burn as you tightened the grip on Jake’s hand, no your father’s hand. “I wanna go home, please.”

“I know baby, we’re going home. Let me fix this baby.” he whispered back, lacing his fingers with your own and squeezing what strength he had into you. 

The human cooed your name again, and you balled up your fist hissing weakly at him.

“This is home” you retaliated, “not back there. Not where I was a shadow, a guest in the place that was supposed to be home. Mama didn’t want me and you knew it just as much as she did. You abandoned me once you can do it again.” Your nails dug into Jake’s palm as your voice raised and your eyes screwed shut as you pressed your forehead to his back, taking in gasps full of air. 

“Y/N.” He took a step forward, arms reached out and Jake lowered himself over you more, tail swishing in agitation as he prepared himself. “Baby, I don’t want to cause a muck on this planet, you don’t want to bring unnecessary harm. Just come home and we can leave the natives alone. No unnecessary bloodshed.” His hand once again reached out, the dark glint of metal shined in Jake’s eye. 

He knew what that was slung over his shoulder.  He was no match against it, and who was to say he wasn’t surrounded now? That their wasn’t an army waiting for him, ready to attack if he came back empty handed.

Yet just as he went to take another step forward arm reaching to his weapon, an arrow shot from the trees above and lodged itself in front of where your fathers hand would have been had he not moved back fast enough.

Your eyes flickered into the trees above where your mother stood, arrow drawn with another bow. She gracefully leapt down, her stance unwavering as she took a spot beside her mate. Eyes never once leave the human man whose face was painted in fear. “Another word, and I shoot again.”

Silence fell. All you could hear and see was your father whose arms fell in defeat finally turning his back to you, arms raised. When he was far enough your fathers arms gathered you into his chest where he pressed you so tight you feared you would pop. 

“You’re fine baby, let it out” his words washed over you as you let your cries out, gripping onto him tightly. His words and Neytiri’s hands stroking your back brought you peace. You were safe, you were home.

[star-girl69]

Keep Me Ablaze

Jake Sully x Neytiri x Fem!Reader

—-

a/n: i hope you all enjoy!!

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of blood, crying, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Six- Just For You

—-

“But stupid! Ignorant like a child,” the woman hisses, eyes shifting dangerously between the two of you. You can’t blame her. You are two unknown people on her land, near her home. You are lucky she saved you in the first place- which is exactly why you should find somewhere safe to hide, go back to your human bodies, then come out and find the Avatars the next day.

The Na’vi woman gives the two of you one more scalding look- braids swinging in the air- before abruptly turning.

You let out a sigh, wrap your hand around Jake’s wrist. You tug, hear him let out a scoff, but when he looks over his shoulder- he’s smiling.

“Jake.” You say, tugging harder, trying to pull him back, but he simply stands rooted in place.

“C’mon,” he mutters, switching his hand so now he is the one pulling on you. “Well, if we’re like children, then…”

“Jake!” you screech, and he barely acknowledges you besides for a squeeze of your wrist. He just forces you along, too fast, making it so you have to focus on the ground instead of him.

“Look, maybe you should teach us.”

“Sky People cannot learn. You do not See.”

The phrase strikes something in your heart, memories of Neytiri saying it to you, but you push it down, focus your energy on trying to get out of Jake’s grasp.

“Well then- teach me to see!” he shouts, just as the two of you come to a natural pathway over a chasm, some sort of large tree trunk or branch acting like a bridge.

“Seeing-” you say, almost stumbling, “is not something you can learn, idiot.”

The woman shoots a look at the two of you over her shoulder, slowly down for just a moment. She’s probably surprised you even know what the notion is- but she only nods to herself, like confirming a suspicion. She probably thinks you’re a scientist. And while you’ve always been a little bit of everything, that’s the term you tell people.

“Look!” Jake shouts, finally thinking of you, hand on your bicep as he helps you step over a branch.

“Let go!” you hiss, and he only jumps over behind you.

“Come on, can’t we talk? Say, where’s you learn to speak English? Dr. Augustine’s school?”

Finally, the two of you are a mere foot away, when Jake looses his footing and starts to- but the woman grabs him. Easily, like it is nothing. Like she could do more if she wants to. If she has to.

She keeps her hand on him, while his fingers dig tightly into your wrist, trying to ground himself. Once he steadies, she hisses once more.

“You’re like a baby.” she mutters something in Na’vi, but this night has been too much, and you barely catch it. Something about Jake needing to listen?

“Please, Jake,” you mumble, feeling like a child, pulling in his wrists like you once pulled at your aunt’s shorts. “Let’s go,” you urge, but him and the woman are at a standstill, a contest, neither leaning in.

“We need your help,” Jake says, voice nothing short of a plea. You cannot see his face- but his muscles are tense in his back and shoulders, and his hand slips down to slide his fingers in between yours.

“You should not be here,” she hisses, flicking her hand out.

“Okay, take us with you,” he replies, not missing a beat. Not listening to her. How can he expect to See if he cannot even listen?

“No! Go back.” She turns, and he follows, and you let yourself be dragged. Your legs still ache from running, and you’re too tired to form thoughts.

“No.” He replies, simple. Like there is no other choice.

She turns and sneers a curse in Na’vi, before pressing against his chest and pushing him back, “Go back,” she repeats, but Jake only seems to size her up- before her ears pull back and she looks up.

You follow her gaze, and at first you only see the bioluminescence of the trees above and the faint night sky. Vines hanging all around, little dots of white.

Until you adjust, until you realize.

Like a jellyfish in the air, moving down from someone greater, the small wisp starts to circle around you and Jake- until his hand falls from yours in awe and you back up, let them circle around him and him only.

He bats one away, and both you and the woman shout and grab at him. Her eyes meet yours for a split second- you both know what these are. You do not pretend to understand, but you simply know that there is something there.

The woman breathes heavily, holds his arm so he cannot attack any more. Another one comes close- and the arm closest to you tries to bat this one away.

“No!” the Na’vi woman shouts again, but this time it’s you who grabs his arm.

The woman hisses at him, says something in Na’vi, before the small wisps start to circle him and his arm goes limp, so you let it fall. Slowly, they start to take up his torso and arms and face, covering him, swallowing him up.

“Atokirina,” the woman sighs, fondly, and the memory of these spirits comes back to you.

“Seeds of the Great Tree?” you say, eyes meeting the woman’s as she steps back, and you copy her.

“Yes…” she breathes, too focused on the sight in front of her.

Slowly, Jake let’s his hands come up, palms flat toward the treetops, letting one sink into the palm of his hand. And then like a rain shower, they all come, one by one and find their place across him.

“Very pure spirits,” the woman adds, and you watch as she bends and shifts to the side, trying to get the best view. She looks at him with such intensity, such rapture. She smiles brightly and it’s so familiar, she’s so familiar, you find yourself smiling too.

You would love nothing more than for it to be her- but why even get your hopes up?

Then, they all float away, and Jake stares in shock at the retreating wisps. But you can only stare at him. No matter that he’s not a scientist, right now, in this moment- he’s beautiful.

Hair messy and stuck to his face, shirt ripped and covered in blood.

The woman mutters something in Na’vi you don’t catch, before her eyes go go to the two of you.

“Come,” she beckons, holding her hand out. Now, Jake chooses to hesitate. “Come!” she insists, grabbing him and forcing you to run along behind them.

—-

“Where are we going?” Jake asks after you’re a little deeper into the woods, stopping to touch each plant that lights up with his touch. Bioluminescence, you want to tell him, but instead you just walk past him, smiling at him.

Neytiri speeds up, and you jump where she jumps, the plants under her lighting up.

“What’s your name?” Jake shouts, voice coming closer as he speeds up.

You shoot a look over your shoulder, to see how far behind he really is, but as soon as you do something flys out across your vision, arcing through, and Jake falls, slamming into the path you’re walking on. He slides down the steep slope, as you and the Na’vi woman turn with a gasp.

She hisses another curse under her breath, before jumping forward quick and grabbing your bicep. Standing close, so that whatever will try to hit you will also hit her- but you have a feeling The People won’t risk that. You don’t know this woman- but the way she carries herself- she’s important. But she stands so close and it’s overwhelming, her burning burning touch that stokes a fire in your stomach you thought was long since burned out.

The woman hesitates for a second, meets your eyes accusingly, as if she can feel the fire you also feel.

War cries rent the air, the plant life spurting forth to reveal a large party of Na’vi warriors, some on foot, some on pal’i. But they all carry bows.

The point them all at Jake, his hands up, not daring to risk them at you, not with the woman’s shoulder bumping yours.

He chuckles nervously as the woman brings you into the center of the circle, grunting as she turns in a slow circle.

“Calm people, calm,” she says in Na’vi, but she is far from soothing.

One man steps off of his pal’i, heading towards the two of you with a dangerous look, tense and drawn up.

“What are you doing, Tsu’tey?” she hisses, pushing you behind her and in front of Jake.

“These demons are forbidden here.”

“There has been a sign,” she retorts, and he tilts his chin up, studying you, studying Jake. “This is a matter for the Tsahìk.”

His eyes flick to Jake, to the woman’s hand still burning on you.

“Bring them,” he hisses.

—-

Hometree is just as magnificent as you remembered it, and your blood sings with the hope of meeting Neytiri again- but who knows if she is even alive? The RDA killed her sister, countless others, why would they not kill her too?

You focus on walking forward, ignoring the tight grip on your braid, the confused and questioning looks from The People.

You’re led to the center, where the man behind you delivers one final tug to your braid, making your eyes ring- so you miss what the woman says. You can only assume they’ve brought you to Eytukan, the clan leader. You only have faint memories of him and his mate, Mo’at, but at one point- they had liked Grace, and liked you by extension. Besides, Neytiri had always been adamant that you weren’t like the other humans.

He steps forward, eyes fixed on you and Jake. You sink underneath his gaze, but then his eyes move to Jake, who nods as the Olo’eykan passes him.

“These creatures.:.” he starts, “why do you bring them here?”

“I was going to kill them… but there was a sign from Eywa.” You frown.

Kill us?

“I have said- no dreamwalker will come here.”

“What’s he saying?” Jake asks, to you, to everyone.

“The alien smell fills my nose.”

The tree fills with the sound of laughter, and you flinch, but have no choice but to take it.

“Hey, what’s he saying?”

“He is deciding whether to kill you,” Neytiri finally hisses, and while you simply say a prayer, Jake straightens and blinks.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir-” he starts, stepping forward with his hand held out to shake him, but the entire clan erupts in outrage and hissing, and he’s pulled back immediately.

“Just stop,” you mumble, knowing he is digging a deeper hole for the two of you. No one recognizes you in your Avatar body- and even if you told them, you doubt they would believe you.

“Step back!” someone shouts, hands out as she climbs down the spiral steps. “I will look at these aliens.”

Mo’at circles the two of you, eyes staying on you a little longer, like she can see straight into the fire inside of you. Like you knows who you are. Not your name, or your family, but who you are.

She touches Jake’s braid, then your own, and you shiver at the feel of it. She turns her attention to Jake.

“What are you called?”

“Jake Sully.”

She takes a large needle from the Tsahìk clothes she wears, before sharply sticking it to his chest.

“Ow,” he grunts, and the entire clan watched as she tastes his blood, as her eyes light up.

“Why did you come to us?” she keeps her voice clear in loud, to show the power she holds, so everyone in the clan can hear it.

“I came to learn.”

You frown. No, he came because the two of you were chased off from the rest of the group.

“We have tried to teach other Sky People.”

You watch as the woman who saved you shakes her head, like she’s trying to shake out a memory.

“It is hard to fill a cup which is already full.”

Silence, for a few moments, the two of them standing feet apart and so close you’re sure they can see their reflection in the other’s eyes. It’s a standoff, a tiny battle of the great war.

“Well, my cup is empty. Trust me. Just ask Dr. Augustine. I’m no scientist,” he laughs.

“What are you?” she spits, not missing a beat.

Jake swallows. “I was a Marine. A… A warrior of the Jarhead clan.”

“A warrior!” the man from before, Tsu’tey, exclaims. “I could kill him easily,” he starts, but Eytukan holds him back. The clan erupts with more war cries, encouragement from The People.

You bring your hand up to your necklace, holding it tight in your hands and trying to wish this all away. You just want to find a place where your Avatar will be safe, then go back to Hell’s Gate, where Grace will make it all better.

“This-” Eytukan starts, catching the clan’s attention. “Is the first warrior dreamwalker… we have seen. We need to learn more about him.”

Mo’at paces, but she stops in front of you.

“And you?” she asks, eyes narrowed, and you feel like you’re burning alive, smoke filling your lungs.

“Uh,” you stutter, foolishly not prepared. You let your hands fall from your neck, straighten your spine and tilt your chin up. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me-”

The woman stalks forward, eyes narrowed and expression burning. You falter, and Mo’at barely gets the chance to turn before the woman is flying past her, grabbing you by your necklace and pulling you forward.

You gasp, choke wildly on fear, on the force of her pull, on the cord pulling into the back of your neck.

“Where did you get this?” she says, but she’s frantic, and her hands are shaky, and her lip quivers for just a moment.

“Y/N!” Jake shouts, reaching for you, but you don’t know if he ever makes it to you, because your attention is pulled to the woman in front of you.

Her ears pull back, and her eyes widen. She drops you, raises her hand to her face.

“I’m sorry,” you gasp, even though you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for. This necklace is just the one from Grace- until it’s not. The weight of it is different from hers.

She lets out a half sob, before wrapping her arms around you like you’re sand in a fire. Like she’s burning too bright, too hot, and you’ll pull her out.

“Oh,” you mumble. Your eyes meet Mo’at’s from over the woman’s shoulder- but her gaze is softer now.

“You have returned,” she breathes, and that is when is clicked.

“Neytiri?” you say, stupidly, and it’s the first time you’ve said her name aloud in years. “Neytiri?”

She squeezes tighter around your waist, her hand coming up to cup the back of your head.

“Neytiri,” you gasp, whispering low, just for her, and trying to fold yourself into her. You didn’t think they would believe you. You didn’t even realize you were wearing her necklace. You’re stupid, you think to yourself, but with a smile.

Who cares about what brought you here as long as you’re with her?

Your arms wrap around her like she’s fire and you’re freezing, and she really is the only thing that keeps you alive.

It takes a moment for her breathing to slow down again, for the rest of the world fades away.

“It’s you,” she whispers into your ear, just for you, “my human. My human.”

—-

taglist:

@kitkat1690 @tiajk @reallysparklychaos @behindthearcane @neteyamforlife @aeslenya @ghoulbli @luvvsnae @personapersonally @bubble-blu @ameriesworld @itsyoboysparkel @ok-boke @arschbohrer @ambria @ssc7514 @w3ird11 @vane28282 @littlexscarletxwitch @erenjaegerwifee @myheartfollower @simp-erformarvelwomen @maevirago @n7cje @aerangi @minkyungseokie @disaster-in-waiting @httpsplanetmarsdotcom

[anangelwhodidntfall]

A Whole New World: P.II

A Whole New World Masterlist 

word count: 3.7k

description: Set a few days after the events in part one, your ankle is now healed and Tsu’tey has found himself wanting to know you more and make your stay with the clan more enjoyable and finds your curiosity about his world amazing. He also helps encourage you to ask Eytukan about becoming a teacher in the village at Dr. Augustine's old school, and promises to teach you everything that you would like to know about the Na’vi culture.

taglist: @moonchildxoxx @inutheangel @ivysunset9966 @headsincloud9​

if you liked this, please let me know. if you didn’t like this, let me know as well. and a big kiss and heartfelt thank you for those of you who always reblog, comment and like my writing. that keeps me going, my besties 💕

Previous Part, Next Part 

It was a few days later and even though you had been put essentially on bed rest, you still found yourself enjoying your time here in the village. Both Jake and Tsu'tey had both come to check in on you making sure you were doing okay and you even met Neytiri who was the sweetest person ever, you could definitely see yourself becoming friends with her. Right now you were working on some of your notes when a knock came to your door.

"You can come in." You said.

A few moments later, Tsu'tey walks in and you both exchange greetings before you noticed that he was carrying blankets in his arms.

"It's supposed to get to get cold tonight so I wanted to bring you some blankets." He said handing them.

"Thank you. This material is so soft and beautiful. Can I ask what it is made out of?" You asked him.

"This is made from the fur of an Ikran, which is really soft and has the most beautiful smell." He said to you with a smile.

"Ikrans have fur? I don't believe any of the books I've read mention that." You said as wrote down what he said in your journal.

"Oh yes, ikran has beautiful, thick fur. And it is very useful for us Na'vi. It makes for very good blankets. But we also use it to make clothes and other things. We use pretty much everything that's on our planet."

He looks at her again, seeming to think about something. "And the Ikran fur blankets also give off a wonderful smell when you sleep on them. It makes for a perfect, peaceful sleep."

"That's so interesting, I'll have to add that to my notes." You said with a smile as you wrote down what he said.

He then grins at her, seeming to be happy that she is interested in the Na'vi way of life.

"Good that you're writing notes. Knowledge is something you need to preserve for future generations, so they can benefit from it."

"Would you like me to tell you more about our planet and our culture? Or anything else you want to know about our people and way of life?" He asked, taking a seat in one of the chairs.

"Yes, I would." You said

He seems genuinely happy to talk about his planet with her. It is important to him that youunderstands what they as Na'vi believe, how they live and why they are protecting this planet with everything they have.

"So just to understand you guys’ hunt ikrans but also tame them? Does that mean like you hunt viperwolves but could potentially tame them?" Youasks

He nods with a smile. "Correct. We do not just hunt ikran, we also have some as pets. They're very intelligent and loyal creatures, so the bond between them and a Na'va or Na'vi can become very strong."

He looks at her and smiles proudly. "In my opinion, there are no more beautiful creatures on this planet than the ikran. They are so majestic and fast, when they fly. They're really awesome animals and a big pride for our people."

"Wow that's interesting." Yousaid.

"I agree with you about them being beautiful creatures. They were one of my favorite animals to study." You said to him.

He nods. "I think so, too. They are a gift from Eywa herself. No other animal moves like them. And they look so graceful and beautiful, especially when they fly in large swarms. It's truly a sight to behold."

He seems impressed when he thinks about the ikran and their flight skills. "Oh, and did I mention how fast they can fly? At full speed, they can reach a speed of 140 miles per hour (225 km per hour). Can you imagine that? That is pretty cool, isn't it?"

"Wow." You said completely speechless and realizing that you should've talked to the Navi instead of reading the books.

He sees the impressed expression on her face and smiles. "Yeah, pretty impressive right? And they are also extremely agile, even at that speed. So, they do not even look like they are going so fast. They turn, swerve, and climb like they were dancing in the air. And most of them can also stay in the air for several hours before they have to land for a short break. I'm always amazed at this."

He then grins at her. "I could tell you more facts about the ikran if you're interested. I also know some interesting things about the other animals, here on Pandora.".

"Please tell me more about ikrans or the other animals here." You said with a smile.

Tsu'tey grins broadly at her curiosity. "I'm happy you're interested. Let us start with a little bit more about the ikran.”

He thinks about her request for a moment, before he starts to speak. "Have you ever wondered how the ikran are able to fly so well, even when they're carrying another Na'vi? It is actually pretty simple: they have two very powerful heart muscles, each about 20 times larger than our own muscles. These muscles are the reason they are so strong and fast. They are true speed demons of the sky."

"Two hearts? Fascinating." You said scribbled everything he said in your journal.

He nods with a grin. "That's right. The two heart muscles have always fascinated me. It is incredible that they can even carry a Na'vi with their strength. But the ikran have been our loyal companions and guardians for generations. They're a precious gift from our mother, Eywa."

He smiles and says to her: "What would you like to know next?"

"They remind me of what we call dragons back on Earth. Do you think that once I am better I could see one up close?" You asked him

He raises an eyebrow in curiosity. "You have something in your home world, that's like the ikran? What did you call them again?"

Tsu'tey looks at her questioningly, interested in knowing more about these dragons of her home planet. Also, the idea of seeing an ikran up close seems to excite him.

"I could actually take you to the ikran, when you're better. You can try to ride one, too?" he asks her.

"Dragons. Let me see, I might have a picture of one." Yousays shuffles through her bag looking for her phone.

"They are a little bigger than an ikran but just as powerful. They existed long ago in our world, but I always dreamed of seeing one up close." You said showing him a picture of a dragon from back on earth.

"Really? I could ride one?" You asked excitedly

He looks at the picture and is very impressed. "That's pretty huge. And yes, the ikran looks very similar. So, the ikran are indeed like the dragons. If I see that correctly, the dragons from your home also have two big heart muscles. Just like the ikran. I'm pretty sure the ikran flies the same way: With a lot of speed and agility. But they're most likely different in other aspects"

He grins at the fact that she's so excited about riding a ikran. "Yeah, you could. I could tell an ikran to carry you"

"Yeah they probably are, it was the closest thing I could relate to an ikran." You said.

"That would be amazing." You said with a smile.

"It's actually a perfect comparison. Even though the ikran are not as big as the dragons of your world, they are still huge, powerful and majestic animals. And as you know, they also play an important role for us Na'vi and I can't imagine our planet without them"

He smiles back at her. "So you really want to ride an ikran, right? You can write that in your notes, too. I can make it happen when you are healed. It's not that complicated for us Na'vi"

"I can imagine. I always think about what it would be like if we still had dragons in our world." You said sadly.

"Trust me I am. I have a whole list of things I wanna do while I'm here." You said with a laugh.

"Oh really? So what else is on your list?" He asks her curiously, his face lighting up. He was surprised by her words.

"I did not think that a scientist like you would have fun riding the ikran and doing all this 'primitive' stuff. But it is pretty cool that you want to do it. So what else would you like to do?"

"I mean technically I'm not a scientist, I'm a teacher." You said to him.

"I wanna learn to hunt and train like a warrior, I wanna learn your culture firsthand." you said reading off her list

He nods. "That's even more impressive then. Being a teacher means you are probably very patient and you must like learning and teaching other people. And that's exactly what we Na'vi do and live for"

"Thank you. I like to think I am, I hope that the clann might consider letting me teach her to help out." You said

He nods. "I think that's a wonderful idea. We Na'vi have an important tradition of transferring knowledge to our young ones. Our teachers and wise teachers are highly respected and honored because they are responsible for passing on our knowledge and culture to the future Na'vie. So I think they would be very happy if you taught the young ones too. I'm sure you'd be a great teacher for them"

"I would love to be able to do that. Do you know who I would need to talk to about that?" You ask him

He thinks for a moment. "I think you should speak to Eytukan, our clan leader. I can introduce you to him later if you want. He is the one responsible for deciding these things. I'm sure he will be delighted that someone wants to pass on their knowledge and share their passion for teaching" He asked.

"I would love that actually. Wait isn't he Neytiris dad? I remember Jake telling me some stuff about him?" You asked him.

He nods. "Yes, he is indeed her father. He was the great Na'vi warrior who fought and defeated Quaritch. He is our current leader and a very good and wise guy. I am sure he will be happy to hear that you want to teach our children. We Na'vi share the responsibility for taking care of them, so someone who likes to work with kids is always welcome"

He smiles at you. "Are you actually serious about this? It would make me very happy. It means you would get more involved with our people and our culture, and that would make you more one of us"

"I really am, when Jake invited me here I wasn't too sure what I could do since most kids well human ones can't travel in space but it would really mean a lot to me if I could teach." You said with a soft smile on your face

He smiles at her. "So what do you say? Shall we ask him? I would be very happy if you get more involved with our culture and our people"

"Yes, let's go ask him." You said with a smile

He smiles back at her. "Great, let's do it then. I'll introduce you to Eytukan and we'll see what he says about this"

They then walk towards the central circle of the village, where all the clan leaders are usually located. They soon arrive there and you guys run into Neytiri asking if she knew where her father was and she told you the last place she saw him.

"Hey, he's right there. Let us go" Tsu’tey said pointing in the direction of where the clan leader was.

He then starts to lead the way to Eytukan. You followed behind him trying to keep her nerves at bay worried about how this was going to go.

The clan leader is currently talking with some of the Na'vi. The discussion is quite serious, but you can also hear them laugh and jest with each other a little. They all know each other well and have much mutual respect.

After a few more minutes they soon arrive at the spot where Eytukan and his clan are standing. Eytukan seems to be very busy, but he still manages to quickly catch your eye and gives a friendly smile. Tsu'tey then quickly introduces them to each other.

"Oel ngati kameie Eytukan." Yousays to him

The clan leader seems a little surprised, a bit impressed. He smiles warmly, clearly appreciating that you take the time to learn their traditional greeting. It is a small gesture, but it is very respectful and shows that she is interested in their culture. It makes her seem more like one of them and he appreciates that.

His smile gets a little bigger and he seems pleased that you seem to know about their culture. It also seems like he is impressed b you.

He then nods and asks: "So, what can I do for you two?"

You now get the feeling that he wants to get right to the point and not waste any time. He must be very busy as their leader and chief.  You are not sure why exactly he is so busy, but you appreciate that he takes the time to talk to you and to really listen.

"Eytukan, I wanted to ask you about the possibility of teaching the children of the clan and allowing me to put my teaching skills to use for the clan?" You asked playing with her fingers something you did when you were nervous.

He smiles at you and slowly nods, while he seems to think about her proposition. He gives her a warm smile and then says: "I think it's a fantastic idea. I would be honored if you would teach the children of our clan. We Na'vi are very thankful for our teachers, and we value their knowledge and the role they have in transferring it to the young ones. So, I would love it if you would teach the children. And that would for sure be something that our clan would truly benefit from."

You were in shock that he said yes the stories you had heard about him and Tsu'tey were clearly wrong.

"Thank you so much Eytukan. This means a lot to me, i won't let you down." You said with a smile.

He smiles and nods. "You're welcome. I am sure you will be a fantastic teacher. I am not worried about you letting us down and you have nothing to fear there. You seem like you have a real passion for teaching and a special talent for it. I am certain the young ones will love you. You are a very kind, peaceful, and caring person."

He is happy to have been able to help her. He likes the idea of her teaching the children of the Na'vi and believes that they will love and appreciate her. So, it's a win-win for everyone involved. You couldn't believe it, her schooling and time on earth did not go to complete waste when you got here.

It did not go to waste. The Na'vi appreciate your knowledge and talent. Your knowledge is a valuable contribution to them and her passion for teaching will help the children develop their knowledge of and respect for Pandora. The clan is very happy to have you here and it's something that you should definitely be proud of. You definitely found her place here on Pandora.

You then ask Eytukan: "Thank you again, it really means a lot to me. So, what else do I need to do to be able to start teaching? Do I need any specific things for that or must be an official teacher?"

You then look at Eytukan with anticipation and excitement. You cannot wait to start teaching the children of Pandora. It would really fulfill her and her passion for it would show them how great you are. You looked over at Tsu'tey in anticipation who nodded his head telling you everything was going well so far.

Eytukan thinks for a moment before saying: "Of course, to be an official teacher and to teach a class you would probably need to learn a little bit more about our language and traditions. So, you would have to finish the teaching program before you can officially be a teacher. But until then, you are more than welcome to help out and support the existing teachers and teach with them. They will make sure that you learn our traditions and the ways of the Na'vi so that you can properly teach our children one day. What do you say?" He asked you.

"Yes, I would love to!" You said excitedly to him

He smiles and nods. "Great. Then it is settled. We are gonna see that they train you to become a great teacher. Our children will be very lucky to have you as a teacher. I am sure you will make great progress and I am really looking forward to it. Thanks for asking and for being so excited about it. It really does mean a lot." He said before leaving you two.

"Did you hear that?" You asked Tsu'tey excitedly.

"I did. See you were nervous for no reason, I knew he would accept you just as everyone else pretty much has." He said with a smile.

"Thank you so much!" You said hugging him without a thought until you felt him go stiff.

Tsu'tey was caught off guard feeling you wrap your arms around him, he wasn't used to having people hug him, but he could help but like the feeling of your arms around him.

"Oh, I'm sorry for overstepping. Hugs were a thing back on earth that we used to show thanks." You said slightly embarrassed.

"It's alright, and no need to thank me I am happy to help you. Let's go find Jake and Neytiri." He said to you.

"Hey y/n, Tsu'tey. How did it go with talking with my father?" Neytriri asked.

"It went well. In fact, Eytukan agreed to let me start training to become an official teacher here as long as I keep my studying of the culture and the people up." You said to them.

"See I told you that you would have a teaching job here." Jake said making you roll your eyes at him.

"Fine, you were right Jake." You said with a smile.

"Truly y/n, that is amazing to here. You will make a wonderful teacher, we will all be here to help you with your journey." Neytiri said.

"Jake and Tsu'tey we need you down by the border there been a few Thanthors spotted." One of the warriors said.

"Excuse us, I will be back to check on you later." Tsu'tey said giving you a soft smile before he and Jake left you there with Neytiri which didn't go unnoticed by Neytiri.

"Come my y/n, I will show you the school and get you introduced to everyone." She said taking your hand.

You two made your way to the school where you saw a memorial inside with Dr. Augstine's picture and a few other things. Neytiri told you about how the school was shot up and destroyed by the RDA and how her sister who was also Tsu'tey's mate was killed which started to make even more sense about his behavior.

"I'm sorry about that. Your parents must value the school a lot to have it rebuilt after what happened." You said to her.

"They do. We believe that education is one of the most important things there is and we put a lot of respect into our teachers." She said.

You two continued touring the school where you got to meet everyone you would be working with and the kids. The kids were obsessed with you and we're excited that you would be joining their class tomorrow as an assistant teacher.

Are you leaving Ms. Y/n?" One of the students Akätxo asked you.

"Yes but I will be back tomorrow, but maybe I'll see you at dinner tonight." You said with a smile.

"Okay! I will look for you at dinner!" He said hugging you before going back to your class.

"You are a natural y/n. I can tell how much you love them from that interaction." She said as you guys left the school.

"Teaching is a passion of mine, but back on Earth they don't treat teachers the same way that they do here, and after a while it became unfun." You said sadly.

"That's unfortunate to hear, but just know here that things will be different for you." She said squeezing your hand.

You were sitting with Neytiri and some of her friends getting to know them when you heard your name being called making you look at and see Akätxo running towards you.

"This is for you ms y/n." He said handing you a flower as you smiled and saw who presumed was his dad finally catching up to him.

"Sorry about that, he hasn't stopped talking about you and finding you at dinner since I picked him up." His dad said making you smile.

"It's alright. Thank you so much for the flower Akätxo." You said with a smile.

"Alright! See you tomorrow ms. y/n." He said grabbing his dad's hand who said bye to you and left you to eat dinner.

"Seems like you have already made quite the impression on that boy, he normally doesn't warm up to people like that." Neytiri said making you smile.

You and Neytiri were talking when Jake and Tsu'tey returned and took a seat next to you guys and you saw Tsu'tey staring at the flower in your hair.

"Ma Jake you missed it, y/n has made quite the impression on Akätxo, he hasn't even known her an hour and already brought her flower." Neytriri said as Tsu'tey let a quiet sigh of relief.

"See I told you that kids would love her, back on earth they would always flock to her." Jake said with a smile.

"That's amazing that children especially Akätxo have warmed up to you, do you like it so far?" Tsu'tey asked you.

"I do. While you guys were gone me and Neytiri toured the school and got introduced to the kids and I get to start assisting them tomorrow." You said with a smile.

"That's good to hear, I'm glad you are liking it here." He said with a smile.

"How was the Thanthor situation?" You asked him as Jake and Neytiri watched with knowing smiles on their faces at you two interacting.

"It was good, we chased them off. When they gather like that close to the village it could present a problem." He said as you nodded your head.

You two sat there talking and then he walked you home where you two continued talking. You were about to head inside for the evening when he stopped you.

"Would like to join us for morning prayer tomorrow morning?" He asked you.

"I would love to. Um is there anything specific I need to do?" You asked him.

"No there isn't. Just bring yourself willingly to learn and that camera of yours to take pictures and I'll come get you in the morning if you would like." He said to you.

"I would love that, thank you Tsu'tey." You said to him.

"You're welcome. Goodnight y/n." He said taking you by surprise and hugging you.

"Goodnight Tsu'tey." You said with a smile as you pulled apart and walked into your home.

[ymmpily]

“You won’t betray me too, will you?”

Warnings: Spoilers, mentioning death, major character death, kidnapping, violence, swearing.

Italic means they are speaking in Na’vi.

Word count: 2,584

This work is 35 paragraphs long, if I have spelled anything wrong, used anything in the wrong way please let me know. I did proof read this ten times and had someone else do it about three but you never know. Thank you. | Part one of Betrayal

Miles and me never really got along, but ever since Jake betrayed him he seems to see something in me now. He’s always keeping a close eye on me. I think he thinks I am going to betray him like Jake. Which I won’t, not yet, I have no reason too. I like studying and figuring out how Na’vi people work. One day of course I would love to be one. I envy Jake. While I am sitting here, he is out there enjoying life, being free. Whilst I am in here taking orders from the man that killed my colleague, Grace Augustine.

Grace and I were never really close but we definitely had things in common. We both loved teaching, though I didn't get to do much of it after I left Earth. She had this school here on Pandora. I remember her talking about it with Jake once, I only ever listened and I never engaged. Graces school taught young Na'vi about American education and language.

I never went to Graces school as I thought to fill my mind with other knowledgeable things. She always enjoyed her life while I sat around learning what she already knew. She also wanted to protect the Na'vi people as much as Jake, while I sat around doing nothing to help. Me and her differed in that part. I watched the RDA do so much damage to Pandora's life. I even watched as Neytiri, Jake's new found love, killed Miles Quaritch. I wished he had stayed dead.

The sound of a door slamming is what awoke me from my thoughts. Miles Quaritch, I groaned, rolling my eyes and getting up from the comfort of my chair. I stretched as Quaritch made his way over to my desk, "How is it? You know, being something you hate." I chuckled trying to start up a conversation. If I didn't he would stand over there and stare at me. He was silent from the question I asked, the air in the lab was tense.

If anything Quaritch scared me, the man could kill me for all I cared. Plus, he was now a 9 foot tall savage, as he liked calling it. I sighed and sat back down within the comfort of my chair. I wouldn't let my thoughts consume me whilst Miles was here, he might think that I am trying to think of ways out of this place. So instead I started typing away on my computer logging in the rest of the data I was supposed to log in hours ago, before I got lost in thought.

I was still typing away after an hour when I heard Quaritch clear out his throat shuffling his way over to the front of my desk. He announced, “You won’t betray me like Jake, will ya cupcake?” I looked at him curiously, as you to ask why he would bring up the topic of betrayal “Don’t fret kid, just a question. I want to make sure you are in a good headspace.” I nodded and simply answered with “No, I won’t betray you Quaritch. Now what is it you have to offer?”

The offer was not one I was expecting, we were headed to the old shack where Miles was killed. I was to take samples of the things around, retrieve anything of value. We dropped down from the Scorpion Gunship or ‘Helicopter’ for a simple name. I made sure to stay close to the Recoms. My plan wasn’t to die unless necessary. Quaritch looked around, fascinated almost by Pandora's woodlands. The other Recoms did the same.

“Stay close Spencer, don’t want your blood on our hands.” Zdinarsk smartly said. We also call her Z-Dog, which matches her personality. As we traveled farther into the forest we were met by four Viperwolfs, I watched as Quaritch and the others raised their weapons. Then the Viperwolves ran off, far away from us. “A nantang.”

Pandora's creatures are terrifying, Grace had spoken once about them. I snapped out of my thoughts once I heard Z-Dog speak, “No shit.” I started walking once more, this trip was going to be the death of me. Now the Recoms were on alert. We were close to the shack, we had to be. They made sure to keep their weapons raised, we really did not need to have casualties. Once I came into view with the shack I could see that it was covered with leaves and vines, Pandora’s life was making this beautiful.

I separated from the group once I heard that it was safe, I was to collect as many samples as possible. Miles made his way to his old suit, I felt sad for him. Though I didn’t need to. Miles is a bad person, he will always be. I saw some cool plants that I had yet to have samples of. I made sure to collect as much as possible. I was getting a little far from the Recoms but it was okay. I’d find my way back.

“Spencer, see if you can pull some data off that dashcam.” I heard Quaritch say from the distance, I groaned. Why did he have to interrupt my peacefulness? I made my way back over to the old shack, I saw them all surrounding Miles old suit, arrows pointing out of something. I assumed it was Quaritches decomposing skeleton. I swallowed hard going over and working to retrieve the data that should be left on this thing.

“Thing is deader than shit, Colonel.” Lyle said unsure if we could pull anything off of it. “Will you shut it?” I said quickly back to him, I was trying to concentrate, didn’t help that he was right. Maybe if the thing wasn’t deader than shit then I would be able to pull something from it. Quaritch chuckled lightly, “So were we.”

I shook my head lightly, chuckling. God they may be bad people but at least they have humor. Clicking on buttons, groaning when something didn’t go my way. Lyle kept watching as I worked. It was really pissing me off. “Can you stop breathing down my neck, Wainfleet.” I shook my head again, attitude radiating off of me. “No can do kid, gotta make sure you aren’t messing anything up.” I jumped slightly, I thought it was Lyle behind me, turns out it was Quaritch.

I really wanted to die, in that moment embarrassment consumed me. I continued to work pretending it was only me there and not everyone else. Looking around once I heard commotion, “Stay here. With me.” I knew something had to be up. Quaritch ran off with Lyle in the distance. I could see the other Recoms struggling, yelling. They were angry.

I swallowed hard, looking back at the old suit, continuing to work but I kept my ears open. I was definitely going to eavesdrop. I didn’t dare look over to where the Recoms were, I did not want Quaritch to call me over if he saw me being curious. I did not need to cause trouble today. I heard hissing and people speaking Na’vi quickly, I sighed knowing today was not going to end with me going back to the lab peacefully.

I clicked a few more buttons on the suit, finally I got the data that he wanted. I let out a long breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding. Slowly I got up brushing off the dirt on my trousers. These were my favorite pants, I didn’t want them to get too dirty. When I looked up from the ground Quaritch and the others were coming back over but with children. One was human.

I refused to acknowledge them, looking up at the Colonel. “Sir, I got what you asked for. I couldn’t retrieve much, Lyle was right that thing is deader than shit.” I glanced back at the Na’vi children, they looked familiar. Miles cleared his throat making me look back at him, “Get me some audio on this.” I nodded, pressing a few buttons as the audio echoed around. He looked disgusted.

“It’s Sully’s woman.” my lips formed into a line, this was awkward. Now I realize why those children look so familiar, they’re the Sully’s. Tonight someone was going to die, or maybe everyone. If we have Jake and Neytiri’s kids this won’t be good. This was going to be a rollercoaster that I did not want to ride. I felt my gut twist in knots, god did I feel sick. I did not consent to kidnapping children.

The kids kept struggling in the background, I could still hear the audio. I wanted to go back to my lab. I hated this, Quaritch and everything else. Everything was so loud all of a sudden, I was going to be sick. The sun was going down, it was going to be an eclipse soon. The audio from the tablet was making me sick, soon I heard Quaritch groan loudly, I looked and stared at my feet. I couldn’t listen anymore.

Lyle grabbed the tablet and handed it to me, “There is nothing after that, sir.” I sighed, I felt so sick. Quaritch reached over into his old suit, he then pulled out the human skull, crushing it into pieces. I gagged quietly hoping no one heard.

Now it was dark, big droplets from the sky fell onto my skin, soaking my clothing. Some of the Recoms kept their guns raised while the others kept hold of the children. I kept close to Quaritch like he told me too. “Three minutes.” I let out a breath of relief, finally going home. The forest was so quiet except for the occasional crunch from one of us moving around.

Quaritch told Sean to “Watch our 6”. God whatever that meant, I wanted to leave. I watched as the children looked around, Neytiri must be here. Now I was really starting to feel sick, oh I'm definitely going to die. Soon gunfire rang around echoing throughout the woodlands, I ran for cover seeing Sean had gotten shot with Neytiri’s arrow, straight through his head. I dry heaved, nothing coming up from my stomach.

“Lo’ak!” I heard faintly in between gunfire. It was so loud. I kept hidden behind a big tree, hoping that I would be safe. The rain kept coming down, hard and heavy. It reminded me of Earth. I used to love running and jumping in puddles with my big brother Jayce. Jayce could be so mean one second but then nice the next, me and him had a falling out once I told him I was going to work for the RDA.

God he knew this was a terrible idea, going to a different planet, killing native people, stealing from their land. It was Earth all over again. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I was so scared, I didn’t want to die. The RDA wasn’t finished with making my Avatar, not that I knew of anyway. If I died tonight I was going to stay dead.

Gunfire did not cease, neither did the yelling. I saw as the children ran off. Maybe they would have a chance. I jumped as a noise came close to me, Quaritch. God he pulled down Sean's body, I didn’t want that thing near me. I gagged again this time something came up. I couldn’t puke in my mask, so I swallowed it.

“Kid, I’m gonna need you to run when I tell you too.” I nodded at Mile’s words, everything was so loud still. I wanted to curl up and cry. I was so scared. Jayce was so right. Quaritch looked over at Sean’s body noticing Neytiri’s arrow, he looked terrified. PTSD maybe? I would hope so, something needs to scare that man.

The colonel reloaded his weapon, the sound was crisp. It was quiet all of a sudden, maybe everyone was dead besides me and him. Quaritch spoke with a smirk plastered on his face “Is that you, Mrs. Sully?” it was silent for a moment, I wished it would be forever, my headached. Throbbed even. “I recognize your calling card.” I really wanted to punch him, was he trying to die again?

A few of the Recoms started moving around, I looked to see what he wanted me to do. “Not yet.” I nodded wanting to disobey him and move. I knew he was right though, I needed to stay close, having no weapons on me was not a good thing. “Why don’t you come on out, Mrs. Sully.” Quaritch said calmly but loud, he grabbed his weapon. I knew he was going to shoot at her.

“The two of us have some unfinished business.” he cocked his gun, Jesus he was really risking lives here. Quaritch then looked at me, nodding, I knew the signal I was going to have to start running as fast as my feet could carry. “Demon! I will kill you as many times as I have to.” Neytiri spoke asserting dominance was lacing her voice.

“You and the Corporal have been pretty busy, haven’t you?” I hid behind another tree, this time farther away from Quaritch I knew that if I didn’t want to die I would have to be a little smart. “Got yourself a whole litter of half-breeds.” I looked down, why would he say that. When I see him again I am going to punch that smirk right off his face.

“Na’vi!” someone yelled, gunfire rang once more. This was not a war I wanted to be a part of. I started running, I needed to get out. Words shouted from everywhere, I ran faster and faster. Suddenly a sharp pain ran throughout my body, I looked down. Blood, I was hit. Suddenly I was thrown over someone's shoulder. I cried out in pain.

I heard muffled words, barely making anything out. “Fall back!” I heard someone shout to my right, I was finally going home. Soon all I felt was calm, it felt like I was floating. “Spencer?” I looked around quickly trying to find the source of the voice, my mom. “Mom?” I croaked out, oh how I missed her. Everything she was saying was muffled. I couldn't understand her.

“Mom?” I said again, maybe this time she would talk louder, more understandable. She didn’t, everything was going black. I felt cold. It was finally quiet, so quiet. Memories floated my mind, the time me and Jayce broke mothers favorite cup, she never got mad at us though. The time dad came home from his military training, oh how I loved that day. He was so tired yet still played with me.

Before what felt like forever peace, there was this light. Bright, my head hurt once more. My mother started disappearing, I tried grabbing her. It didn’t work. Soon my eyes opened once more. I groaned out looking around, “It is so bright in here.” I managed to croak out. Then I saw doctors, no scientists surrounding me. I jolted up, how was I alive.

“Calm down, calm down.” I knew that voice anywhere, Miles. He told the scientists to leave, give me space. I finally noticed that I was blue, I was in my Avatar. I laughed “This is real right?” Z-Dog laughed in the corner, “Hell yeah.” I smiled and laughed once more. Finally my plan was set. I knew what I was going to do. Jake might be getting that call.

[protectionsquad24601]

So we know Isadora & Duncan Quagmire are named after the dancer Isadoda Duncan because she died tragically; but she also had a pretty unfortunate life. Let me just summarize some of her story for you:

- her father, Joseph Charles Duncan, embezzling funds, leading to

- divorce of her parents, (well, also the fact that Joseph wasn't faithful) which lead to

- the family being in poverty (side point, there were three siblings, like the three siblings in most of the VFD families)

- Joseph and his third wife (sketchy) and his daughter with said wife DYING IN A BOAT ACCIDENT WHEN IT CRASHED INTO ROCKS UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES (???!!!!) and is considered the "greatest disaster in the history of the Atlantic Transport Line to date". Oh and here's a picture of the MASS GRAVE

Wow okay anyway

- this isn't exactly "unfortunate" but she dropped out of school at 10

- she worked with Augustin Daly's theater but didn't enjoy it due to her free-spirited nature, and was thoroughly unhappy in America

- she moved to London (which is an unfortunate event alone) and was quite successful (girl's getting a break) but she didn't like touring or contracts because of the commercialism

- therefore she opens a school in Germany to teach dance, adopts six girls (good for her ig) and calls them the "Isadorables" (WHAT) and also they're her protégés; cute but then she tries opening a school but it closes due to WORLD WAR I

- moves to the United States but she plans to leave, narrowly avoids dying at sea like her dad (ok I'm not kidding; she was going to go on the RMS Lusitania, which was TORPEDOED BY THE GERMANS AND HELPED LEAD AMERICA INTO THE WAR, this is all very ironic because she considered the sea inspiration for her dancing)

- she ended up moving to SOVIET RUSSIA which was not smart bc they didn't support her work like they promised. She had established a school so she left it to one of her daughters/protégés/Isadorables

- oh, somewhere during all this, she has three biological children to three different husbands - THE FIRST TWO PROCEEDED TO DROWN (drown???? Oh my gosh this is a pattern) because their nanny accidentally (?) drove her car into the RIVER SEINE.

-with the first two children dead, Isadora is so desperate for another that she BEGS A STRANGER to get her pregnant. This baby also DIES shortly after birth

- marries a poet, then divorces him soon after (this poet btw, Sergei Yesenin, had a bunch of affairs, got arrested a bunch of times, was accused of anti-semetism, and then committed suicide-by-hanging in a hotel room. Wild.)

- okay so at this point Isadora's going through serious depression. Her three biological children are dead and she feels like she's lost some of the Isadorables to old men, and so her performances are getting more scarce.

- her reputation is tarnished by being drunk in public, her financial struggles, and her now-scandalous love life. She spends the years working on her autobiography (which only gets published posthumously) supported by her few remaining friends and family

- here's the part you've all been waiting for: Isadora Duncan dies on September 14, 1927 at the age of 50. Her silk scarf gets caught in the wheel of the automobile she was riding in, right in front of the person who had given the scarf to her as a gift. Apparently, she was flung out out of the window and died on brutal impact with the ground, almost decapitated by the scarf.

On that note, thanks for reading so far!! Please note that all of this is sourced from her Wikipedia page as well as a few other Wikipedia pages. Here's a picture of her:

Rb if you read to the end ig

[11cleyvaart]

Maybe Quimbget shopping interests please?💗

(I’m so sorry I keep asking! Let me know if I ask too much I love your headcanons so much)

This one was kind of hard but I'll do my best. Also addiction warning I suppose.

Augustin

Augustin likes to buy cough syrup, he has a shameful addiction to it. He began taking it when he got a cough, and continued to take it well afterwards. Gaining a small high from the medicine. He also likes to have cough drops as well, Quimby only found out when he passed by his desk and saw the many wrappers in the garbage can. But once he became Gadget, he soon lost his drive for the high. Yet still gets withdrawal symptoms at times, only slowly losing it after a while. 

He's just a straightforward kind of man. He'll shop when he needs to. Need groceries, he'll get them for the week. Needs clothes, he'll buy them. But he won't actively go shopping for fun. He's a man on a mission. 

But as Gadget, he becomes less focused on his needs to buy things that he begins to just go to places for fun with Penny. He'll still buy groceries for her and food for Brain but will often forget something and need to go back for items. 

Augustin never really liked to buy clothes but did when his clothes eventually wear out, thanks to his mother's teaching of hemming for repair. He didn't like to spend too much money on himself when he took in Penny, mainly spending it on her and putting her first. He'd be sure to give her the best birthday he could, he didn't mind eating less to make her happy.

Quimby

This is a man with no impulse control. He didn't have much as a child so he will spend more as an adult. 

He buys a lot of fast food as stated before. Nearly a meal from his favourite place three times a week. He also buys more junk food than healthy foods. 

He also spends a lot on tobacco products, mostly his pipe tobacco. He uses the same wooden pipe for a while before getting a new one. 

Quimby also likes to purchase ‘those’ magazines, but he'll get those from the adult store so no one sees him. 

He doesn't have any kids to feed, and since his wife left he spends most of his money eating like said before. He won't spend the money to buy a new office chair no matter how much duct tape he puts in the rips he won't buy a new one. 

He also looks at others who can afford some things as better than him. He has that mentally burnt into him from his parents. So he tries to spend his cash but never has enough later to save. 

[apenitentialprayer]

Sermon on Racism

given by John Ireland, Bishop of Minneapolis, preached at Saint Augustine's Church, Washington D.C., on May 5th, 1890.

It makes me ashamed as a man, as a citizen, as a Christian, to see the prejudice that is acted against the coloured citizens of America because of his colour. As to the substance, the coloured man is equal to the white man; he has a like intellect, the same blood courses in their veins; they are both equally the children of a common Father, who is in heaven. A man shows a narrowness of mind and becomes unworthy of his humanity by refusing any privilege to his fellow man because he is coloured. Every prejudice entertained, every breach of justice and charity against a fellow-citizen because of colour is a stain flung upon the banner of our liberty that floats over us. No church is a fit temple of God where a man, because of his colour, is excluded or made to occupy a corner. Religion teaches that we cannot be pleasing to God unless we look upon mankind as children of our Father in heaven. And they who order and compel a man because he is coloured to betake himself to a corner marked off for his race, practically contradict the principles of justice and of equal rights established by the God of Mercy, who lives on the altar. Let Christians act out their religion, and there is no more race problem. Equality for the coloured man is coming. The coloured people are showing themselves worthy of it. Let the coloured be industrious, purchase homes, respect law and order, educate themselves and their children, and keep insisting on their rights. The colour line must go; the line will be drawn at personal merit.

[call-me-doll-face]

These Ties That Bind

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

Warnings for chapter: slight angst

A/N: Sorry guys, this is a rewrite of the story i posted the other day! I didn't feel like I'd done the chapter justice. This is just getting to know the characters and setting the feel for the story! It's my firs time writing for avatar so please be patient! Any feedback or constructive criticism are welcome! Let me know what you think, if you like it I'll keep updating! @jakesullyfatjuicypeen thank you for giving me the confidence to try this! ❤️

“Hey, I’m Jake.”

“Rory. Nice to meet you.”

“Right back at ya, doc.”

Jake Sully had been right about one thing, the most dangerous thing about pandora IS that you may grow to love her too much... and love her I did.

I had been filled with a sense of wonder when I'd first arrived to be grace Augustine’s assistant. I thrived on the need to learn, the need to devour the information put in front of me. Grace really enjoyed that, i dare say she even respected it.

I was there when jake Sully arrived. I was witness to all his chaos, fell victim to his cocky tendencies a time or two. We struck up an unlikely friendship (that was very involuntary on my part) and that was the end of it.

Or the beginning... depends how you look at it.

“Will you stop following me? I have work to do jake.”

“You work too much, doc. Spend some time with your favorite cripple.”

“Jake!”

I was with jake every step of the way.

When he'd gotten separated on that fateful outing with grace and they couldn't recover him before nightfall, id sat beside his link unit for hours. I'd refused to leave, even though I had been completely and utterly exhausted.

“Where is jake?” I ask as grace and the others return from their outing, eyes searching for the obnoxious man and not finding him.

“What happened, what did you do?” I instantly start accusing, fear coursing through me. Grace gently grabs my shoulders, forcing my brown eyes to meet her own before speaking to me.

“Rory, he’s going to be fine. There was an incident and he got separated. He will pick him up tomorrow morning.” My hands shove her away from me. How dare she, how dare she downplay the seriousness of the situation.

“Why did you leave him out there! How could you! Rules be damned, they can go to hell!”

I'd been the first one he'd seen when he finally woke from the link, gasping wildly, filled with excitement, and instantly telling me about where he was, who he was with. Honestly, he talked so fast I could hardly keep up.

“Jake, open your eyes. Jake, look at me, come on you stubborn ass.” I say, tapping his stubbled cheek in attempts to get him to wake from the link. My breath leaves me in a harsh exhale when his pretty blue eyes slowly blink open. “Yeah, there you are… there you go.”

Gripping the back of his neck I help him sit up, eyes moving over him with worry. He just gives me a blinding smile, laughing as his hands grip my arms.

“You’ll never believe where I am doc!”

There were nights when we’d just sit laughing as he’d tell me about the wonders of the land. He’d teach me the language as he learned it, both of us giggling as he’d imitate how Neytiri would call him names.

“The stars are so different here… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.” We lay side by side, shoulders touching as we look up at the Pandoran sky.

“Nah, they’re the same stars. Just different perspective.” Scoffing over at him, all I can do is roll my eyes before looking back to the sky.

We lay there in silence for a little while. Every now and then his finger will lightly run over mine, seeking the warmth and comfort from the physical contact.

“Do you know which one is earth?” My voice is soft as I ask him the question, not willing to disturb the peacefulness of the moment. When the silence stretches on for another couple minutes, I start to think maybe he won’t answer.

“Yeah, its right-” Leaning up on an elbow, his big body leans over me slightly, pointing to a bright light in the sky. “-There.”

“It’s beautiful.” I whisper softly.

“Yeah… They are.” He murmurs, eyes that look like molten gold studying my face.

I got to watch how his affection and admiration of the Na’vi woman grew.

“I just… She makes me feel so alive doc!” Jake motions excitedly as he follows me, trying to get in front of me so that he could have my full attention. Needy man. “I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s fierce, proud, always keeps me on my toes!” When he once again gets in my way and interrupts my work, I glare up at him in aggravation.

“She sounds wonderful, jake. Now please, every time I try to work you make it impossible. Go. Away.”

The good also came with the bad though… I was on his side every step of the way when things went to shit. I stayed in that little trailer in the hallelujah mountains, hiding from Miles Quaritch.

Jake somehow got the clan to accept grace and I, though they were very wary of us. What had happened with the school grace and ran had a lasting affect on them… who could blame them right? Humans always have a way of destroying everything they touch.

Seeing that I was always the one to tell jake how it is, the two of us always butting heads, it was only natural I was the one to yell at his over mating with Neytiri. I love her, but she was promised to tsu’tey, they both had their responsibilities to the clan and pig headed jake had gone and fucked it up.

I’d gotten over it quickly of course, knowing how much he loved her.

Then the attack on the home tree happened. Then grace.

“JAKE! JAKE, WHERE ARE YOU?” I shout out as I stumble through the destruction. My skin in hot to the touch, some spots burnt. Soot and ash cling to my skin and hair and my throat burns due to the heavy smoak surrounding us.

The Na’vi people scream and cry around me. Some stumble around, shouting much like I am in search of their families… others sit on the ground, sobbing as they hold someone to their chest…

I refuse to let my eyes settle on the bodies... I know that if I see them, if the reality that these people had been massacred in front of me sinks in before I can find jake… God I might just lose it.

“I’m here! Doc!” I hear him before I see him, his big blue body emerging through the smoke and barreling towards me.

“Oh god, oh thank god!” a sob is torn from my burning throat at the sight of my best friend, very much alive and moving towards me with desperation in his eyes.

We reach each other at the same time. He couches down, gathering me in his arms before standing to his full height, lifting me easily off the ground. Usually, I would complin when jake uses his strength to treat me like a rag doll but right now all I want is for him to pull me closer.

“Are you hurt? Doc, focus, are you hurt?” He cups my face, hand covering the entire side of it, fingertips pressing into my hair and onto the back of my head. Those pretty eyes of his search my dirty face. Hand shakes my head slightly to get my attention on him, prevent me from spiraling out of control.

“I-I’m okay… Neytiri?”

“She’s okay. She’s safe.” Pulling me back into his chest he presses my ear to his chest, letting me listen to his heart as his body heaves under me. He’s sweaty, dirty much like I am but I just cling to him as he shushes me gently, chin resting on my head.

Devastation had consumed my very being… I felt like I was dying inside as I took in the destruction around me. Everyone had lost so much, and all for greed.

When Jake had become Toruk Makto and united all the clans in order to fight the sky people, I’d been so proud. However, when the day came, I couldn’t stop the tears from pouring down my face.

Jake had seen this, his face dropping, and confidence quickly replaced with worry.

His big hands gently gripped my arm, knowing how easily he could hurt me in his avatar body, and pulled me aside. “Hey, hey, hey. What’s with the tears, little bird?”

I can’t help but laugh at the nickname. He’d given It to me the first time he’d taken me for a ride on his ikran, Bob. He’d laughed at how happy I’d been in the sky, flying with the wind in my hair. Had said with a fond yet teasing voice that if I weren’t born a human, I would have been a bird. Probably had been, in a previous life.

The nickname had obviously stuck.

“I can’t lose you too Jake.” My voice comes out small, so unlike my normal loud self. I’d be ashamed of the way I’m acting if I weren’t so afraid I’d never see him again.

“Oh, come on. You know damn well that I’m too stubborn to die.” He laughs light heartedly, trying to cheer me up as he kneels so he can be level with me.

Even with me standing, my face is level with his while he kneels. Any other time the size difference would make me laugh… now I just can’t bring myself to find it funny.

When I don’t give him a response and continue to stare at the ground, he lets out a heavy sigh. “Come on kid, I don’t want to leave here knowing you’re upset… just in case...” He doesn’t have to finish. The words go unspoken but we both hear them clear as day.

In case I don’t come back.

His hand engulfs the entire back of my head as he pulls me forward, pressing his forehead against mine in a rare display of affection between us. I don’t fight him for once, just lean into the embrace and breathe him in.

Neither of us notice Neytiri approach, but I jump when I feel her hand on my shoulder. “I’ll take care of him, human.” she says gently.

Neytiri hated me at first, telling jake that I needed to be with my own kind. Over time, seeing how much jake cared for me had softened her. After that it didn’t take long for me to grow on her as well.

“Take care of yourself too.” I demand as I hug her tightly. Well, it probably didn’t feel very tight to her, but you know.

After that I watched them fly away.

“Come on tiri, you got this! Come on, just one more push!” Her screams fill the mauri as she tries to push the baby out. Jake and I are flanking her on either side, letting her grip our hands as the pain wracks through her.

She whimpers, head rolling to the side so her tired eyes can meet mine. I can tell she wants to give up, the labor being complicated and long, taking everything out of her. Jake is panicking, worried to death something is going wrong and that something will happen to her or the baby. Right now, I have to be her strength, so I stroke her hair out of her face and give her a stern look.

“One more. Give me one more.” Sweat rolling down her face, tears filling her eyes, she nods her head to me. Gripping my hand tightly once more I watch in amazement as she gathers her strength and once more lets out of loud scream as she pushes.

My eyes widen and my head whips to the side as a cry, strong and mighty, is heard.

I’d never seen anything so beautiful, watches as the little blue baby is cleaned and wrapped in a blanket. “You have a son… You did so good, tiri. He’s beautiful.”

“Thank you, little human.” Neytiri is wrecked, absolutely exhausted but she still reaches a hand out to stroke my cheek in thanks.

“Come here little bird, come meet your nephew.” Jake says, and my heart has never felt so full.

“Oh, I’m going to get you, you little rat!” I threaten, lunging after Lo’ak as he squeals in mock fright.

I chase him in circles around his mom and dad, both laughing at our antics.

“Oh no! neteyam, save me!” He shrieks diving to the side.

I gasp loudly as the older boy (who is damn near the same size as me) jumps onto my back, sending us both to the ground in a pile of giggles.

“Dog pile!” Jake shouts and I quickly send him a glare before all of the kids jump onto me, laughing and screaming.

“No, no! mmph!” I gasp as I try to wiggle out from under the little brats that are my nieces and nephews. “Help!... Can’t… breathe!” I wheeze out, greatly exaggerating that fact.

Of course, stupid jake makes absolutely no move to help me.

‘I hate you.’ I mouth to him, and he just sends me a cocky grin.

‘I hate you more.’ He mouths back, playfully flashing his fangs.

“What is it, sweet boy?” I ask as lo’ak walks to me, dropping his head onto my shoulder while I chop fruit. I’d grown a soft spot for the younger boy, so much like jake when I’d first met him that my heart grows with joy.

“Nothing.” Instantly I can tell he’s lying to me. Dropping the knife, I turn to him, sitting so we face each other, knees touching.

“You have never been able to lie to me. What is it?”

“Nobody sees me. All I am is a disappointment to the family. They all want me to be like Neteyam, the perfect son, But I never will be.” He refuses to look at me, but I can still see the water that gathers on his lash line. His ears fold back, tail winding around himself and giving away just how badly he feels.

Reaching out, I run a soothing hand over his ear. “I see you, sweet boy. I am so proud of you.” Scooting closer to him, I gather him in my arms, which is comical given how much bigger he already is than me.  “I promise your father is also proud of you, lo’ak. He just doesn’t know how to show it.”

---

“DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU’RE MAKING THEM FEEL, JAKE? HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO THEM THE WAY YOU DO!” I shout at him, hands shoving at him as he flashes his fangs in anger at me. We are standing in the middle of their mauri, all the kids kneeling on the floor while me and their father fight. Neytiri stands to the side, ears folded against her head and watching us with sad eyes, but not stepping in.

“I AM THEIR FATHER, ITS MY JOB!” he shouts back, stepping into my space threateningly as his chest heaves with rage. His hands tremble at his sides, tail whipping behind him.

“THEN ACT LIKE IT! THEY ARE YOUR SONS, NOT SOME RANDOM SQUAD! EVEN NEYTIRI HAS TRIED TO TALK TO YOU AND YOU JUST BRUSH HER OFF!” The argument is getting more and more heated, tension levels rising to an almost catastrophic level.

“Tsmuke… it’s fine, really.” Lo’ak says in a quiet voice, not wanting his dad and I to fight because of him, feeling like he’s already caused enough trouble.

“Yeah guys, please don’t fight.” Neteyam agrees, trying to play mediator.

“No boys. No.” it takes everything in me to not snap at them, take my anger out of them. Instead, my words are just stern, firm. I watch as they duck their heads and nod in compliance before turning back to jake. “Fix. This.” I hiss, before turning and storming out of their home.

---

“I got nothing. I got no plan. But I can protect this family. That I can do.” My heart breaks at his words, not looking at them as they share a moment of intimacy. “Little bird.” Jake says to get my attention and finally I look up at them.

I let him take my hand, let him gently tug me into the circle of their arms. “Wherever we go, this family is our fortress.” His words are full of conviction, and my heart breaks further as I gently pull away from them. They both watch me with confusion, not understanding why I all the sudden need space from them.

“Jake, Neytiri…I...” my voice breaks off as I try to remain strong. How do I tell two of the most important people in my life that I can’t go with them? That as much as I’m dying inside, I NEED to stay here…

Thankfully (and selfishly) I don’t have to. Much like he always does, jake picks up on the words I’m not saying. I watch as his big body stiffens. My golden eyes narrow on me harshly, ears pressing back and baring his fangs as his tail whips in anger.

“No. No, you ARE coming.” He snarls, and I raise my chin defiantly. I know he doesn’t mean to be harsh, I know he’s just scared and doesn’t want to lose me.

Neytiri senses the tension rising and presses a gentle hand to Jakes chest to calm him before looking to me, ears folded back as well. “Why, Yawne?”

My heart breaks further as the softness of the voice, the pain lacing it.

“I’ve been teaching the children here… making a difference... they need me...” I see jake open his mouth to retaliate, already knowing what he’s going to say, I need you, but Neytiri senses there’s more and sends him a silencing look. “I’m not Na’vi jake… I won’t be accepted into another clan after everything that’s happened… I can’t go... this is my place.”

Nobody says anything after my confession, a heavy silence filling the marui and suffocating us. I can see that jake is having a hard time accepting it, every bone in his body wanting to fight it, but finally his shoulders fall in defeat.

Letting out a shaky breath he pulls me against his hard chest, cradling me there. “What will I do without you, little bird?” He asks, and all I can do is hug him tightly as I squeeze my eyes shut.

----

Shortly after that, with a heavy heart, I watch as them and the children leave the clan.

Jake doesn’t look at me as he walks past, knowing if he does, he won’t have the strength to do what needs to be done.

Neytiri just sobs loudly, gripping my forearm before forcing herself to move on.

Kiri and tuktuk wrap me in tight hugs, whispering how much they’ll miss me and wish that I’d come with them.

Lo’ak is quick to pull me in, pressing his forehead to mine. “Nga yawne lu ere (I love you)” he says quietly, and I murmur it back to him before letting him go.

Neteyam is last, and he just gives me a sad smile. Taking my hand, he presses a beaded bracelet into my hand, and upon further inspection I see it’s not a bracelet at all. My eyes widen as I look up at the boy, gripping the song cord. “For when we meet again, tsmuke. (aunt)” and then he’s gone.

They’re gone…

But that’s just the beginning of the story.

[jwnchstr]

waiting for superman | m.s47

title: waiting for superman part 2

characters: you/reader/catherine, mick schumacher

summary: when your father (a former ferrari mechanic) was diagnosed with alzheimer's, your world turns upside down. you had to give up your city life, get back to your village to take care of your father.  but what hurts the most is being so close to him and seeing him not remember you (catherine) as well as every precious moment in his life with you. you start to questions about everything until mick schumacher (your childhood best friend) comes back into your life and teaches you life lessons that you're sure will remember forever.

other f1 fics | masterlist | my wattpad

waiting for superman part 1 | 3 | 4 | 5

*

ii.

you didn't want to bring your father to the schumacher's. but not because you're ashamed with your father's illness, or that he'll complicate things. no. it's because that you fear that he will misbehave at mick's house like how he did in his own house. in front of sebastian. in front of mick's family even though you know mick's family might understand. but even so, you know they already have enough in their hands and you cannot let them worry more about you or your father.

    but on friday (a day before sebastian's visit), mick calls your house phone. he calls to remind you that tomorrow (saturday) sebastian is coming and though he's by himself, he wants you and your father there. he even said that you can bring annie if you're too worried about him at other people's home.

    "we'll see." you sigh.

    arguing with him is pointless because he's been in the same situation as you before so you could not say "you don't understand". because he does understand your frustration, your anxiety. you want to spend time with your father with other people but those bad thoughts they stop you.

    "come on, annie. come with me," you beg when you discuss with your father's caretaker about this.

    "i can't, catherine. the schumachers is your friends not mine."

    you're not sure why annie would feel that way because since annie has lived with you and your father for months, you never felt annie a stranger. she's a part of the family now. which means the schumachers is her friends too.

    "now, don't fret. i'm sure you and your father will have a great time with them. and say hi to gina for me, please." the early-40 woman smiles at you.

    by the time you and your father arrive at the schumacher's, you see a familiar car is already parked on the driveway. there is a faded baby on board tag hanging at the back window, which reminds you that you haven't seen his kids for a while now. the smallest one must be tall now since the last you saw him. the eldest must get smarter. a smile immediately found on your face. an image of sebastian vettel in a thin worn out t-shirt with shorts comes into your mind.

    you cannot wait to mee him. joke around with him. talk to him just about anything. because it's easier to open up to him sometimes. but you're nervous at the same time. you're nervous to introduce your father to him because both of you haven't seen each other for years. sebastian doesn't know the change in your father, does he? what if once he saw your father, decided he cannot stand karl erberhardt, he ignored him for the rest of the afternoon?

    you pull your car behind sebastian's car and turn to your father. he was looking out the window, watching augustine and roger playing near the garden. his eyes travel to the familiar-yet-not-so-familiar big house in front of them. his forehead creased.

    "we're here, dad," you tell your father.

    "where?"

    "the schumacher's."

    "who is the schumcher's?"

    that question makes your heart breaks. but what hurts the most is how he had forgotten his best friend. because your father and mick's father were so close. they were inseperable like you and mick when both of you were little kids. they worked together. they took their kids to the same karting club. they'd hang out while their kids play in the horse barn. they took care of each other's kids like theirs. there's no way that there wwere no bond between them. but if michael saw his best friend's current state now, will he be disappointed? or mad? will he want to be his best friend anymore?

    your dad doesn't say anything. he doesn't do anything but watch the dogs and the house. he sits still at the passenger's seat as if waiting for further instructions from you.

    you help your father take off his seat belt, look around for you belongings after. a shadow creeps towards your car. you look up and instantly beaming when you see another beaming person waving at you and your father from the other side of the window. sebastian---he is always too excited to meet your father. it's like he's turned back to his little self whenever he's around karl. he opens the car door without permission (not like he needs it though) and greets your father.

    "karl erberhardt." his accent is still thick though with the constant traveling and speaking different languages. "guten morgen! it's a very long time since i last saw you. i've missed you! hello, catherine!"

    you smile at sebastian's enthusiasm and encourages your father when he takes a nervous glance at you like asking if he could trust the man who is shaking his hand and speaking too excitedly and too loudly in his ears. you hop out of the car just in time augustine jumps to hug you. not prepared with the sudden attack, you fall flat on the driveway. soon, you have two dogs mobbing you and nudging their noses towards you and licking your face.

    "ew, no! no licking!"

    but you still laugh.

    "es tut mir leid," you hear your father say after shooing augustine and roger. mick had join your father and sebastian some time while you were attacked by the dogs. "wer bist du?"

    you're not sure if mick told sebastian about your father but when you see his face falls, you can hear his shattering. you can feel his adrenaline rush. and you can see his face turning red and his eyes getting wet. sebastian blinks before glancing at you. he gulps. something is playing in sebastian's mind but the words got caught in his throat. maybe mick or gina or corinna told him about karl but maybe he didn't expect your father would not remember him. sebastian is your father's old friend and one of his closest.

    sebastian tries to smile again as he answers your father's innocent question. "ich bin sebastian. sebastian vettel. dein freund."

    "oh."

    sebastian clears his throat. "let's get inside. corinna is making your favourite soup."

    "who is she?"

    when sebastian explains about corinna (not the first time someone has to do it for him though), he sounds more confident. he sounds like sebastian vettel that you knew. and that makes your heart calms. and everything that you were worried about dissipated. and the tension on your shoulders lifted. you see your father smiling as sebastian laughs at something. god, you feel like crying. cry in happiness.

    beside mick at the driveway, you watch as sebastian leads your father inside the house. their voices slowly turn into muffles to your ears. and you watch until the door clicks opens and shuts. and you sigh. long and heavy.

    "see. i told you everything's going to be okay," mick says beside you.

    "sebastian was crying," you notes.

    "well... who wouldn't."

    a short silence fell between you and mick and you realise that you're left alone with him. as if on cue, your heart rate speeds up in your chest. when you take a glance at mick, you notice how close he is beside you. like you can feel the warmth radiating from his body. he looks so comfortable in an old hoodie that you're sure you worn it back then at least once. or maybe it's not the old hoodie but his face when you look up to greet him. something is different on his face. maybe it's the hair. or maybe it's the way his blue eyes greying under the sunlight. or maybe it's just him being himself anf being the person you loved---still love---still in love with that makes you blush when his eyes found you.

    "hi." you blush.

    mick smiles at you. "i'm glad you brought your father."

    "he needs some friends. how are you? you look... troubled."

    "it's just... getting a little crazy in the kitchen."

    you laugh. an image of corinna ordering mick what to do but tell him off a second after that while gina trying hard not to laugh at mick crosses your mind. people would think mick is the child in the family, bossying around because he's the youngest, spoilt and always aggressive with his older sister because he is a boy. when the truth is, he is the total opposite of those. and gina is the aggressive one in the siblings. and mean and mischievous. she would be the one with prank ideas, causing mick into trouble.

    "hmm. i can smell the chicken from the outside." your mouth water. "did you tell sebastian about my dad?"

    "i did."

    "how did he take it?"

    "confused. sad. he didn't really know how to take it. and then he said that it doesn't matter. both of you are his friends and will always be his friends. and now i think you guys are one of the reasons why he's retiring."

    "he retires because of his family, mick."

    "yeah but you guys are the new and another reason. yeah, i'm sure you understand."

    you smile at mick. his voice is so soft that you could get drown in it.

    "c'mon. let's meet the rest of them."

    the schumachers house is actually merrier inside and you don't know why you're surprised with it. the calm yellow lights instantly makes you feel like home as soon as you step foot into the house. the chatters of two men. an older woman ordering this and that. the chaos in the kitchen can be heard even from the front door. you hear gina making fun of their mum, laughing back when corinna scolds her. you smile to hear their voices but your smile halts when you catcha third woman's voice complaining about her nails. your heart drops.

    but your heart warms again as you catch sebastian and your father laughing.

    yes, you realise that now that sebastian is probably the right person to tell stories to your father. the stories told by sebastian must feel closer to karl because they weren't mere about walking down the paddock, or staying up late after races, or complaining about how hot it was in the garage, but it's about the cars, the engines, the mechanism, the strategies, the designs. even though they're quite foreign to your father now, but you're that there must be... must be one thing that your father remembers.

    then, sebastian pulls a photo album from underneath the schumacher's coffee table like it's there on purpose. when he opens the photo album, you can see imaginary scenes floating in neon lights like the one in sci-fi movies and replaying on top of the page. sebastian doesn't know some of the stories behind some of the pictures but there is one...

    sebastan points at something. a chuckle quickly escapes his throat. because the picture that he's pointing at is a picture of little you, mick, gina and your neighbour's kids drenched in mud from head to toe. the only two spots that weren't covered in mud were the eyes. sebastian was not there when it happened but he tells the story like it's his own.

    "the rain just stopped," he says. "you the adults were inside the house, talking and drinking and laughing when they snuck out of your neighbour's house and play with the mud near the horse barn. if michael didn't notice the house being too quiet, they were probably still playing with mud until now."

    and both of the old men laugh.

    "sebastian surely has some embarrassing stories about us, isn't he?"

    you chuckle lightly. "yeah."

    it's actually quite amazing how sebastian could keep himself collected all the times he is spending with karl. how nothing your father says or does gets under sebastian's skin even though when he accidentaly spills a water onto the carpet (even though that's mick's concern not sebastian's). just one of the things that you adore the four-times world champion.

    just when you thought your day couldn't get any better, your ears catch the same, familiar, cringing third woman's voice from the kitchen. though you initally wanted to greet corinna when you enters the kitchen, but the sight of the third woman makes your heart leaps out in a bad way and makes your eyes bulge.

    "justine?"

    you were actually asking mick but before the young man beside you can say anything, the mentioned person herself turns around.

    "catherine!" justine shrieks. while she's making her way towards you, you can't help yourself but to observe her from top to toe. the long, smooth and healthy hair. the expensive but plain long-sleeved crop top. the grey sweatpants. the latest edition pair of nike. everything on justine screams money---one that you once had more than enough.

    justine smiles at you. her perfect white teeth on display. when she slightly turns her face to the side to give you a friendly kiss, it's not only her jaw that you're envious about but her clean and smooth skin. no bumps. no acenes. no spots. no nothing.

    "how are you, sweetie?" justine asks. her choice of nickname for you makes her sound like a grandma.

    "i'm... good. i'm... fine."

   you glance at gina and sees her giving you an apologetic look before they turn evil when her eyes directed to mick.

    you frown. why the hell mick invited justine in this gathering? you thought it's only you and sebastian? why didn't he tell you on the phone call yesterday?

    justine is pretty. she is smart. her family is rich. she is rich. she's young but already has a fortune in her bank account. she dresses nicely every time she goes out even though only to family mart. she has a stable family---mom, dad, other beautiful and smart and funny siblings---a polar opposite to your current life. you don't hate her but there's one thing that makes you uncomfortable being under the same roof with her.

    mick and justine used date back in high school. they were together throughout sophomore and senior years. you knew something was going on between them since freshman because justine was the only thing mick talked about. but instead of telling him how you feel about him, you encouraged him to ask justine out. and that's the first heart break you've ever experience. ever.

    when they started dating, mick would ditch you to go out and spend time with justine. you were always left alone with gina and her horses. and it hurts when your father's friends ask about mick to you like "where is mick?" "why aren't you with him?" "are not friends with mick anymore?". mick was so in love with justine and appreciated justine in so many ways. they had a lot of fun together. you thought their relationship was going to last. though both of them parted ways because justine can't keep coming to the paddock and miss schools and, apparently, she could not stand a long-distant relationship. so they stay friends instead.

    but you, however, do not like them to stay friends especially now knowing that justine is free to come to mick's house, spend the time with mick's family like her second family while you're struggling to take care of your own that you barely have time for yourself. you thought maybe you had the second chance with mick. maybe you're wrong.

    "you want to help us with the cake? here."

    you blink out of confusion as justine shoves a bowl of a mixture of flour, eggs and butter for you to stir to make the dough.

    "oh."

    you glance at mick who has guilt written all over his face before entering the kitchen deeper and start to stir the mixture. the repeated movement takes you in the zone immediately as mick stands at the kitchen door, scratches the back of his head, doesn't know what to do in the situation. you curse under your breath, speaking nonsense to yourself, made a mental note to make him apologise for inviting his ex-girlfriend to the gathering. you don't care if he thinks you're being dramatic but as a friend and this long, he should know that you're uncomfortable with justine.

    soon, luckily for you, corinna notices your awkwardness. the way you're not smiling and talking with her. the way you didn't even laugh at gina's stupid jokes. the way you cringe when justine makes a remark on sebastian or mick or life at the paddock. in short, you're not being yourself. out of the blue, corinna steals back the bowl from your hands and passes them back to justine.

    "here. you can help me bake the cake." corinna is fierce but when she turns to you, her face and voice softens. "you go now, catherine. go sit at the porch with mick. or talk to your father and sebastian."

    "are you sure you don't want---"

    "no. go." corinna pushes you towards mick. "i'll let you know when lunch is ready."

    though corinna pushes you towards mick, saving you from your horror, but she was glaring at mick most. and mick knows what that glare meant. "why did you invite justine? why didn't you rescue catherine yourself? you're a big boy now. surely you don't need me to save you about everything?"

    mick shrugs at his mum though he quickly leads you out of the kitchen. you stop behind mick when you read the living room because you thought that's where you're going to spend the time until corinna finishes with the lunch, but when mick continues walking, you frown.

    "wait, we're not sitting here?"

    mick stops and turns around. "you want to sit here?"

    "where are you taking me?"

    "oh. i was thinking about taking you to the bookstore while gina and mum are cooking."

    "the bookstore?" you frown.

    of course he knows that you're a big nerd. you've always been books lover when you were a kid. your father allowed you to read, buy more books either you've finished with the previous one or not. you must have thousands of books in your house by now (though you've donated and resell some). but funny how some of your books were lost every time mick borrowed them. and though that happens every time, you didn't seem to get tired of his carelessness that you kept letting mick borrows your books more.

    "i don't think they're going to take long, mick. let's just sit at the porch."

    this time, you lead mick out of the house. and not knowing what else to do, he follows you to the porch. there is a small round table on the left side of the porch with two seats. there is an old book on top of the table---one that looks familiar. you take the one near the door. mick rounds the table, walks pass you and with a sigh that only he understands, mick lowers his bums onto the seat opposite you.

    "mick, is this book... mine?"

    there is a strangled sound coming from the young man's throat as he stares at the book in your hand. his eyes scream "busted!"

    "seriously? you stole my books and put them in your library? my books?"

    you wonder why mick particularly only read books that you read, but you didn't ask. shaking your head, you drop that topic and put the book back down. at least, you know now where your favourite books are. at least, they're not in the drain, or in the trash, or just anywhere in the world. at least, they're with mick---one of the people you trusted the most.

    you peek at your father through the window behind mick.

    "he's fine," mick says.

    there is a smirk at the end of mick's lips when he sees you rolling your eyes at him.

    "you invited justine?"

    "i told her that sebastian is coming today."

    you laugh at yourself mentally. because of course he did. how can you forget. justine also knows sebastian (and sebastian with justine) because she had always been there with mick through his career, almost as long as you do. almost. so how can mick not tell justine that sebastian is coming? if he didn't or told justine not come, sebastian will wonder and what will mick reason? that you doesn't like justine? that you cannot stand with justine? that you're jealous with justine? how childish could it be?

    you try to distract your mind off that particular woman.

    "anyway... how's your team?"

    can't help but to ask that question as you sit on a chair at the porch. it's not that you forgot what his answer was. you remember everything about mick, but there's something inside you wishes that he answers the question diffrerently every time. you hate hearing that unmotivated, robot voice in mick. because whenever he feels sad, you're sad for him.

    "great. never been better."

    a little different than last week. still cold. no emotion. but better than last time. at least he didn't sound like a robot though he didn't sound excited to talk about work with you either. but you get it. no one likes to talk about work especially when your boss treats you like you're worthless.

    "you're going to stick with them until next season?"

    you're concern about his career because you know how hard it was for him to reach this far. using different aliases/surnames to avoid attention. his father fell ill. his mother had to divide attention and to focus on his father more. and maybe he's still getting used to driving an f1 car because we all know f3 and f2 cars have different styles and set-ups. but at the same time, you're confident that he can be like his father if he's given the opportunity and better training and coaching.

    "my contract with haas ends end of this year."

    "and you're not looking forward to it?"

    "i am but... not at the same time." mick keeps his eyes to the frontyard, afraid he'd be lost in the ocean of your eyes. "i love to be a part of the f1 team but i know i deserve a better team and car. and it seems like almost every team has decided their drivers for 2023 so..."

    "you're going back to f2 then?"

    "if they'd like to have me back," mick answers. "what about you? do you have any plans about your father?"

    "honestly? i don't." you pause. "annie and i tried everything. but the meds stopped working a long time ago. and he's started not to remember me and other stuffs we did together."

    "have you tried showing him pictures and tell stories like what seb did?"

    "trust me when i said we did everything."

    mick smiles sadly.

    "but the thing is, dementia isn't like mild amnesia where you can get back your memory. when a person is diagnosed with alzheimer's, their memory loss is permanent. and he may remember memories from three decades ago but not today."

    mick remembers last week when he visited you, your dad and annie at your house. his mind recalls the time your father running around the house, looking for something that he didn't know what he was looking for. he didn't answer when you ask. it's like you didn't exist at all. instead he called for his mum. and he knows that your father's mum died ages ago. before you were even born. it must be when he was only a teenager or at least, early 20s. yes. it's like three decades ago.

    "i'm sorry you have to go through this. i know it's hard and there's not many people who understand it. that's what i feel with my dad when he didn't recognise me."

    "at least, it gets better with your dad. mine just gets worse. only time will tell when he stops functioning all together. and when he reaches that stage, we all know what is going to happen to him."

    the air seems heavy as neither you nor mick knew what to say to make each other feel better. maybe this is a bad topic to talk about on a family gathering when it should be an uplifting topic to make you feel motivated.

    "it's... it's bizarre, isn't it? how we had our lives perfect one second, then turn upside down the next because we didn't see it. if only we were aware of the things that might be taken away from us when we were at the highest of high, none of this happen."

    "hey, look at me," mick says to get your attention when he notices you're staring into distant.

    you turn to look at mick.

    "if there's anything that i can advice you right now is not to dwell on your mistakes and accept what happened. trust me, life gets easier when you accept things. and you might think that it's a bad omen after everything... but look at us now."

    mick's blue eyes stares into your dark browns. you feel like the world around you stops. you feel like the world is yours and there's no one else on it except you and the f1 driver that you're in love with for so long. this is what you've always wanted---mick for you and you only. nothing else matters when it's you and him.

    then someone opens the door behind you.

    "lunch is ready!" justine announces cheerfully, keeping her eyes on mick.

    it took you a few seconds you register what justine was saying because you're lost into mick's ocean blue eyes. when mick leads you back inside the house for lunch, he only has his eyes on you, ignoring justine at the door.

*

after lunch, being polite, you help corinna to clean up the kitchen. and with the house being calm and quiet (because gina and justine are gone out for shopping), it's been a while since you have a proper conversation with the older woman. it's nice to catch some things with her. and it seems like she knows what to say when you're feeling bad about yourself and your dad. it always feels as if your burden has been lifted from your shoulders after talking to corinna.

    then, sebastian approaches you while you're drying the silverwares with clean cloth before putting them into the silverwares drawer. by the creased on his forehead, you know something is bothering his mind and that something is big. you wonder if sebastian is intimidated or afraid of you until you hear it from his mouth.

    "yes, sebastian?"

    sebastian's face crunch uncomfortably as if he smelt something rotten in the kitchen.

    "i was wondering if i can take karl for a drive," he hesitantly says.

    "oh." you stop your activity. "i don't know, seb. i never left him with someone else before. well, except with annie."

    "i promise it won't be long. one hour, max. i just wanted to show him the garage where he used to work."

    you now it isn't going to be there only.

    "sebastian, i took him there and he---"

    "come on, catherine, it's only me."

    how can you deny that pleading look in sebastian's eyes?

    you finally sigh in defeat. "okay. you can take him. but promise me you won't be long."

    "i promise it won't be long," sebastian repeats.

    "one hour, maximum."

    sebastian knows it's not going to be only for one hour, but he doesn't want to worry you. "i promise."

    okay, you thought. maybe it's time for you to trust other people other than annie with your father. maybe this is a start of something... good? because what if annie isn't around some day? what if there is nobody else around and all you can ask for help is from sebastian?

    "be careful, okay? call me and let me know if anything happens," you say before sebastian leaves.

    after finishing helping corinna, mick tries once again by asking you if you're still up to go to the bookstore. you wonder if mick is using the bookstore as a reason for him to take you out but either way, you didn't let yourself overthinking anything. you said it yourself that you wanted to try be close with mick so when there is a chance, you know you cannot blow it.

    reaching for you car keys from your hands, mick slips into the driver's seat. and for the first time ever, after two years since you brought your car home, you're sitting at the pessanger's seat. it feels wrong but right at the same time. it feels as if you're betraying your car for letting someone else driving it, but you can't turn it down when mick wants to be a gentleman with you.

    when the car ride get a litle boring, mick opens his mouth to have a conversation with you. and out of other questions that he could've asked you, he decided to ask if you're seeing anyone right now.

    "with my current situation, mick, i doubt anyone wants to even be my friend."

    "don't look down on yourself."

    "why not because it's true? i'm working double hours. barely home. barely out too. barely making any friends. my life in the city sounds like a fairytale now."

    "so you're not seeing anyone right now? no customers flirting with you? no regular customers asking you out? none?" mick tries to hide his nervousness by laughing.

    no, wait. actually, there is one person you know that kept coming to the coffee shop you're working. his name is sean. he is a clerk. you know because he told you that himself when he first came. and even from the first time, he made sure that you know he is interested in you. and he gets bolder after many times that he asked you out. of course, you rejected him but sean just thought you're playing hard-to-get when you genuinely doesn't want to go out with him.

    "i don't know what's wrong with you, cath," emma once said, "guy like him, you don't reject. he's very rare nowadays."

    maybe emma was right but you can't just seem to go out with anyone else and not thinking about mick.

    "no."

    mick's heart skips a beat in a good way because he thought you don't want to answer him because that's how you are now.

    the smell of books enters your nose before you even entered the bookstore. excited, you walk faster. a smile reaches your lips when you finally set foot onto the bookstore and as if you've lived there before, your body turns towards a direction where you knew there will be your favourite genre without looking at the signboards. there's something in the way your eyes shine when you look at the books makes mick's heart race.

    "calm down, catherine. not like the bookstore is going to move by itself."

    you smile sheepishly at mick. "i know but the books makes me excited."

    mick understood just like how you understood him when he gets excited over limited edition nike or jordan.

    "are you looking for anything particular?"

    you look at mick funnily. "i thought you wanted to buy something here."

    "me? no. i just know that you love books... hey, look at this." mick quickly grabs a book, pretending to get excited over a paranormal book. he doesn't read books that you haven't read but to just avoid the awkwardness, mick reads the synopsis at the back of the book.

    really. he's reading it.

    "scary," mick say once he is finished with the synopsis.

    distracted by mick, you ask "what is it about?"

    "i think it's about a human poltergeist disturbing his family for revenge. it says here that laura needs to discover the truth behind the house's strange behaviour but we all know it's not a ghost. someone is living behind the walls and making nuisance. sounds like the boy."

    "you watched that movie?"

    "a few years ago, yeah. with the boys."

    of course he's watching with his friends. you don't think mick was brave enough to watch scary movies by himself either.

    sci-fi section is an interesting section. you could see cars flying in between the shelves. you could see people shooting laser beams instead of bullets. you could see people floating in neon colours, effect from the hologram technologies. you could see people calling their friends with their hands instead of a mobile device.

    once upon a time, you love reading sci-fi books. because it allows you to imagine things even though it sounded so far out of reach. and with your passion with technologies, science fiction always gave you hope that one day, you'd make these fictional technologies come to life. though now it probably won't ever happen.

    "oh. wow! i like this book,"  you hear mick says three bays away.

    "what is it about?" you ask.

    "a dystopian world about a human... falling in love with robots."

    you can hear the disappointment in mick's voice. you don't know what mick expected.

    "aw, isn't that beautiful."

    "really? love between a robot and a human is beautiful?"

    mick doesn't have a problem with the story in his defense. but there's something about a human falling in love with a robot doesn't sit him right.

    "robots do not have feelings. they're created to follow our instructions."

    there's someone else with them hanging around nearby. and you caught that person snickering and nodding his head as if agreeing at what mick just said. rolling his eyes at the other person, you return to mick as if nothing else happened.

    "so if you're given a chance to write that kind of novel," you start, "what would you write about them?"

    "well, if it was me," mick pauses for a few seconds, putting a lot of thoughts on this imaginary book he is writing. "there would be two humans.both of them have a robot each. the human fall in love with each other. the robots help them build their dream house."

    "that's it? two people fall in love. and their robots build them a beautiful house?" you raise an eyebrow. "c'mon. they must have a conflict. things that keep them apart at first but together at the end. or maybe a plot twist."

    mick nods his head understood. for once, he didn't feel awkward to talk about his imaginations. "no. no plot twist. but maybe the guy has a father who is still not able to talk after his tragic accident and they're trying to find a formula to help his brain works again. and while doing that, they found a chip that help the girl's dad getting back his memores again."

    you stare wide-eyed at mick as soon as you realise the story that mick was referring to. you know it's about and him. and even though you're happy mick would want to include you in his writing but you didn't expect to be that detailed. something in you freaks out.

    "you must be kidding, right?"

    "what? it's my book. i can write anything i want."

    you let it drop. when you turn to face the opposite way, you didn't to think mick is attracted to you too. the feeling's mutual to him. it could only be that. she's his best friend. even though it's heard to gulp it down (that he might only be thinking you as his best friend) but he's more than that to you.

    you put back the sci-fi book in your hand that absent-mindedly grabbed while mick was planning his story, and move to the next section. based on the cringey titles and bright and colourful and cheerful covers, mick instantly knows that both of you are at the romance section. a section that makes mick's stomach catches butterflies.

    you grab one book that caught your attention.

    "you've reached sam," mick reads the title from behind your shoulder. his hot breath fanning your ears. "what is it about?"

    you turn over the book and reads the summary together but in silent.

    "wow. i can't imagine losing someone i love."

    you quickly put the book back on the shelf as soon as the thought of your father dying crosses your mind. and that time when mick ignored you for justine. yes, you didn't like when you know mick is still freinds with justine. but even if you tell mick that, what difference would it make? yes, maybe you want a relationship with mick but how could you do that to mick when your life is a mess?

    you remember a song with a line that goes with "and how can i give you all of me when i'm only hlaf a man?" that's how you feel towards mick.

    not wanting to overthink again, you move on to another shelf with the same genre, skimming through the books and lazily read the sypnosis knowing that they would always end up the same way. and you weren't sure when did mick leave but when he comes back, there is a thick book in his hand.

    "hey, hey. look what i found."

    your fingers grazed with mick's when you grab the book from mick's hand. and while you take your time to read the synopsis at the back of the book, mick stands close beside you, keeping your eyes on you as if waiting for your reaction.

    "beautiful." you hand back the book sto mick, feeling a bile in your throat.

    it's a story about a girl who just lost a family member and since then, she always feels like she doesn't belong to the world despite having all the family's assets she legally inherited. the hundreds and thousands of amounts of money she has in her bank account doesn't make her happy when the only person she cared and loved the most is dead.

    as the lead character struggles to find herself back and to accept that her family is gone, a guy comes into her life and is willing to do just anything for her. he could be in london today and new york tomorrow, but he will pick up the girl's call. he could be in asia today and be at the front step of the girl's house tomorrow.

    you already can imagine how it ends.

    "isn't it." mick reclaims the book from your hand. "kind of reminds me of us."

    blood rushes to your and head. you never thought mick would reciprocate your feelings. even if he would, you always thought it will be too late. so when mick has giving you these hints today, you almost didn't believe them. so ignored them. but what about now?

    "how?"

    "you know." mick shrugs, tyring to make it a casual. "your dad having alzheimer's and you have to give up your life in the city centre. you come back here and i'm... in the picture."

    "as for what?" you found yourself asking.

    "as someone more than just your best friend."

    as you stare into mick's eyes, your eyes get wet.

    "i want to go home."

    you turn around and leave.

    "catherine. catherine, hey!" mick grabs your hand.

    "take me home. could you please, mick," you say without looking up at him. mick expected you to slap his hands away, but relieved when you didn't.

    on the way home, mick couldn't feel anything else except feeling stupid at himself. why not? he knows there's a lot of things going in your minds right now. you're still accepting what's happening to your father. you're still accepting your own life. like you said, life you had in the city centre feels like a fairy tale now and he should be the one supporting you. but instead he's freaking you out with his confession.

    but how can he not though? it's been so long since he last saw you. years. many years. he wrong for not realising it any sooner but then the paddock gets lonely when you're not around. sure, it's fun taking justine around the paddock, introducing her new things and people. but life with you is much more adventurous and exciting. how could he miss that? and it was never a problem when he has to fly because you'd understand.

*

once you arrived at the schumacher's, you didn't wait anymore second. you hop out of your car and look for your dad.

    "dad! dad, it's getting late. we need get home."

    "catherine, i'm sorry." mick chases after you. "i didn't know you would freak out."

    "who says i freaked out?" you said without looking at mick. "dad! no, stop it, mick! dad! where are you? c'mon. let's--"

    "you certainly did. i just wanted to give you a hint but i just can't keep a secret from you. i'm sorry it's not the right time. catherine, i need you to tell me you feel the same way. that's all."

    "it's late, mick. i need to get my father home."

    "catherine, please." mick doesn't want to give up. he doesn't care that the sky is getting dark and that you have to get home but he can't let you leave without answering him. "i need you to understand that i love you. okay? i'm in love with you. i'm sorry it's all so sudden but i can't lose you again. and it's okay if you don't want a relationship. just tell you feel the same way."

    "yes, mick. yes. i feel the same way about you," you finally say it though your voice was shaky and your mind is too distracted in between two things that it looked as if your being sarcastic towards mick rather than being serious.

    "catherine---"

    "what else do you want to hear? that i've been in love with you since we were younger? that i was still in love with you when you had that relationship with justine? you're the first person to ever broke my heart, mick. but what can i do now, huh?"

    "i'm sorry. i'm sorry i didn't realise it sooner. you're everything i want now. give me a chance to mend your broken heart."

    "but why me?" you shout. you didn't care if the neighbours hear you. you just want to express. "why not back to justine? why not woman on the grid? they have better life than me! they're prettier. they have more money. they can be there for you and support you from the vvip room. i don't have anything, mick. i'm poor---"

    "you have everything i wanted. everytime i look at you, i remember what we had when we were kids. and---and paddock life isn't as great as it used to be when you stopped visiting."

    "that's bullshit, mick!"

    mick stands there agape. he heard you cursing a lot of times but never at him.

    "you were just driven by the old memories, mick. who i am now is not who i used to be." you sound sad. "i don't have anything that you want. i don't have the look. i don't have the money. i'm constantly stressed with my life."

    "no, don't say that." mick's voice is soft now as he approaches you. he cups your face with his palm, wiping the tears on your cheeks with his thumbs. "you know i will always be there for you."

    "no. you won't, mick!" you raise you voice once again and push mick. "you won't always be there for me and we both know it. you have enough water in your cup. you don't need me to overflow."

    "no, catherine. nothing is overflowing. if anything, you're making my world perfect. we can work this out together, okay? as long as you give us a chance."

    your mind is haywire but you know mick. you know when mick is serious. you know that mick will do anything and everything for you. you know you can trust mick but can you trust yourself?

    when you calm down, you let mick hug you. you let yourself melt in mick's embrace just like how mick let you hear his racing heartbeat. but just as when both of you are cooled down, another hurricane came.

    "catherine, it's about karl."

*

part 3

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

9th July >> Mass Readings (USA)

Tuesday, Fourteenth Week in Ordinary Time 

or

Saint Augustine Zhao Rong and his Companions, Martyrs.

Tuesday, Fourteenth Week in Ordinary Time 

(Liturgical Colour: Green. Year: B(II))

First Reading Hosea 8:4-7, 11-13 When they sow the wind, they shall reap the whirlwind.

Thus says the LORD:

They made kings in Israel, but not by my authority; they established princes, but without my approval. With their silver and gold they made idols for themselves, to their own destruction. Cast away your calf, O Samaria! my wrath is kindled against them; How long will they be unable to attain innocence in Israel? The work of an artisan, no god at all, Destined for the flames – such is the calf of Samaria!

When they sow the wind, they shall reap the whirlwind; The stalk of grain that forms no ear can yield no flour; Even if it could, strangers would swallow it.

When Ephraim made many altars to expiate sin, his altars became occasions of sin. Though I write for him my many ordinances, they are considered as a stranger’s. Though they offer sacrifice, immolate flesh and eat it, the LORD is not pleased with them. He shall still remember their guilt and punish their sins; they shall return to Egypt.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 115:3-4, 5-6, 7ab-8, 9-10

R/ The house of Israel trusts in the Lord. or R/ Alleluia.

Our God is in heaven; whatever he wills, he does. Their idols are silver and gold, the handiwork of men.

R/ The house of Israel trusts in the Lord. or R/ Alleluia.

They have mouths but speak not; they have eyes but see not; They have ears but hear not; they have noses but smell not.

R/ The house of Israel trusts in the Lord. or R/ Alleluia.

They have hands but feel not; they have feet but walk not. Their makers shall be like them, everyone that trusts in them.

R/ The house of Israel trusts in the Lord. or R/ Alleluia.

Gospel Acclamation John 10:14

Alleluia, alleluia. I am the good shepherd, says the Lord; I know my sheep, and mine know me. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel Matthew 9:32-38 The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few.

A demoniac who could not speak was brought to Jesus, and when the demon was driven out the mute man spoke. The crowds were amazed and said, “Nothing like this has ever been seen in Israel.” But the Pharisees said, “He drives out demons by the prince of demons.” Jesus went around to all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the Gospel of the Kingdom, and curing every disease and illness. At the sight of the crowds, his heart was moved with pity for them because they were troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest.”

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

------------------------------

Saint Augustine Zhao Rong and his Companions, Martyrs   

(Liturgical Colour: Red. Year: B(II))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Tuesday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading 1 John 5:1-5 The victory that conquers the world is our faith.

Beloved: Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is begotten by God, and everyone who loves the Father loves also the one begotten by him. In this way we know that we love the children of God when we love God and obey his commandments. For the love of God is this, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whoever is begotten by God conquers the world. And the victory that conquers the world is our faith. Who indeed is the victor over the world but the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 126:1bc-2ab, 2cd-3, 4-5, 6

R/ Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.

When the LORD brought back the captives of Zion, we were like men dreaming. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with rejoicing.

R/ Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.

Then they said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad indeed.

R/ Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.

Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like the torrents in the southern desert. Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.

R/ Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.

Although they go forth weeping, carrying the seed to be sown, They shall come back rejoicing, carrying their sheaves.

R/ Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.

Gospel Acclamation Matthew 5:10

Alleluia, alleluia. Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: John 17:19

Alleluia, alleluia. I consecrate myself for them, so that they also may be consecrated in the truth. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: 2 Corinthians 1:3b-4a

Alleluia, alleluia. Blessed be the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: James 1:12

Alleluia, alleluia. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: 1 Peter 4:14

Alleluia, alleluia. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of God rests upon you. Alleluia, alleluia.

Or: see Te Deum

Alleluia, alleluia. We praise you, O God, we acclaim you as Lord; the white-robed army of martyrs praise you. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel John 12:24-26 If a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it produces much fruit.

Jesus said to his disciples: “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves me.”

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[liesmyth]

Now i want to read/write domestic mithraeum fics where they all still have those nightmares of interpersonal relationship but they need to do chores. And the possessed corpse and doomsday in the near future. The idea of harrow stealing g1deons oatmeal is so funny to me thank you for that.

AU where Mercy's reluctant mentorship of Harrow includes teaching her how to do laundry, because she's never washed clothes that aren't BLACK and she totally ruined the first five loads she did (on the Mithraeum's ancient washer)

You know when Augustine tells Mercy not to get blood on his shirt because it's the only one he pressed? YOU KNOW Augustine irons everything. His sleep pyjamas, his collared shirts (absolute fucking nightmare) his pillowcases, his underwear.

Harrow doesn't have time to linger in the kitchen or she'll get killed. It's only natural she steals her enemy's sustenance (overnight oaths)

(please write the fic)

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

*chinhands* Mercymorn plsssss

Why I like them: she's insufferable and ridiculously intelligent and hates everything and has spent ten thousand years despising herself while simultaneously being better than everyone else and she KILLED GOD???

Why I don’t: genuinely I don't think there's anything I dislike about her. everything she did was correct and justified and I'm so sad about her all the time

Favorite episode (scene if movie): every scene she's in is my favorite. acid jail. knocking out all of Augustine's teeth but respecting his request that she not make him bleed on his white dress shirt. pity-killing Harrow. every time she uses an exclamation point.

Favorite line: why would you make me CHOOSE. no but here's where I started crying and then didn't stop until the book ended like forty pages later: "You never loved him as much as I did. This is the moment. This is the chance for unlovable Mercymorn--critical Mercymorn--to show she is most capable of her name [...] Watch me, Augustine. I am the second saint to serve the King Undying. I will teach you a lesson in forgiveness."

Favorite outfit: the Leyendecker thirst trap outfit is simply incomparable.

OTP: ahaha you already know. Augustine. I just think the horrible old people with millennia of baggage should stab each other and kiss about it, what of it

Brotp: it seems like she and Cytherea probably had a nice friendship :(

Headcanon: prior to the resurrection she wore reading glasses. absolutely no reasoning behind this except it makes me smile imagining her furiously scrubbing at the lenses with the hem of her shirt and getting those funny dents in the bridge of her nose

Unpopular opinion: idk what's popular/unpopular bc I avoid the fandom writ large like the plague. uhhh. I think she's a lot more complicated than some people portray her. like yes she has some great comic relief moments but her entire identity is built on this kind of bone-breaking grief that she can't even really address ten thousand years later... I imagine the explosive anger and high-strung attitude is at least partially a result of the thousands of years of emotional repression in that regard.

A wish: Mercymorn the First pleeeease come back and kill God again and then marry me I mean what. who said that

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I trust the author not to do this but the "babies ever after" ending would literally be both my nightmare and hers. at least she's dead so that can't happen probably yayyyy

5 words to best describe them: laser-deadly, tightly-wound spring.

[softmick]

2023 joy list

thank you for tagging me @mybrainismelted and @lingy910y! lets get into it.

please do this if you haven't and you see this. and tag me. for real for real.

traveling! there's little i love more than being in new places. my faves last year:

bonaire - one of the most chill, relaxing trips i’ve ever taken and one of the most beautiful places i’ve ever been. pink salt flats, the bluest water, flamingos. great food. better company. fun sex. the Best snorkeling! i saw octopi, eels, turtles, cow fish, sea slugs, etc. 🤿

okefenokee - my second trip to one of my favorite places in the US!! 30ish miles of kayaking. the satisfaction of physical exertion. almost getting attacked by an alligator.🐊 fun camping on platforms over the water! certified dark skies. fingers crossed i get to go again this year.

ohio/michigan - a road trip with my bestie to meet her friends in ohio and then a last minute addition to explore the upper peninsula of michigan. we kayaked in a crystal clear river, saw painted rocks, drove a dune buggy, saw a pretty water fall, did several cold plunges, saw some dambo trolls. got really high. cheap weed, no buying limits>>. camped. spent a night in a hot tub. lovely.

japan - finally got to go after like 4-5 years of wanting to! it was fun and beautiful. i don't have much to say besides i will go back. two weeks wasn't enough!

yoga!

did another training. got great feedback. met some really, really lovely people. feel more confident about teaching.

i can finally do kapalabhati correctly and it turns out i enjoy it.

miscellaneous

lots of good entertainment this year! faves: succession, shameless, the bear, bottoms. i finally finished outlast and i played jedi survivor.

this fandom <3

i wrote stuff last year? and enjoyed it?

my cats stayed healthy.

my dad moved closer.

my therapist affirmed that it's my choice about taking my psych meds. it's a little thing, but every summer i want to come off of them and i sometimes do, in secret, usually feel guilty and dumb about it... it was just really nice that when i finally brought it up to her she didn't immediately shut down the possibility.

i saw wild monkeys in silver springs and got robbed by raccoons in st. augustine.

i fucking made it through another one!

[catenaaurea]

wrt my previous anon: the church is focusing her efforts on saving the souls of those who need it, instead of those who can be presumed to already be in christs bosom. the modern church has wisely realised that these petty disputes do more harm to the christian world than good. what you said in your reply is tantamount imo to accusing the pope (the current and former pope both famously engaging in much ecumenical and interfaith dialogue) of 'grievious sin' and is basically one step away from the sedevacantism rampant in trad spheres. Saint Josaphat Kuntsevych was probably the worst example you could use, because that is exactly what i was talking about (eastern/western church being synonymous with political affiliation back then). on science, heres some augustine: "It is a disgraceful and dangerous thing for an infidel to hear a Christian, presumably giving the meaning of Holy Scripture, talking nonsense on these [scientific] topics; and we should take all means to prevent such an embarrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and laugh it to scorn." honestly, your non-catechism posts always come off as very arrogant, and you seem to think as long as you stick to the letter of the law wrt church teaching that makes it acceptable, its a shame. you dont need to post this if you dont want, but please think on it.

wrt my previous anon: the church is focusing her efforts on saving the souls of those who need it, instead of those who can be presumed to already be in christs bosom

Presumption is a grave sin. You cannot presume the salvation of anyone, especially not those outside of the visible bounds of the Church. Again, everyone that isn't formally in communion with the Apostolic See really does "need it."

the modern church has wisely realised that these petty disputes do more harm to the christian world than good.

They only do more harm than good when they're carried out without charity like many, unfortunately, in the tradosphere do online.

what you said in your reply is tantamount imo to accusing the pope (the current and former pope both famously engaging in much ecumenical and interfaith dialogue) of 'grievious sin' and is basically one step away from the sedevacantism rampant in trad spheres.

Actually, I was very careful not to do that and not to impose any intent on the part of any specific member of the clergy. Interfaith dialogue is good, but I can critique the glaring flaws in certain methods. My best friend is Antiochian Orthodox and I've spent a lot of time talking to Orthodox Christians and hearing critiques from Orthodox apologists online. It is very evident that the main sticking point is liturgical abuse. Again, this doesn't mean we shouldn't be engaging in interfaith dialogue, but it makes little sense to do that and then simultaneously do something else that drives a wedge.

You don't know me and I'd greatly appreciate you not hurling accusations of schism and heresy at me when I spend the majority of my time trying to help others come into communion with Rome. I'm not "one step away" from anything, I'm firm and confident in my positions and in my faith.

Saint Josaphat Kuntsevych was probably the worst example you could use, because that is exactly what i was talking about (eastern/western church being synonymous with political affiliation back then).

Maybe instead of skimming some articles after googling his name you should read the books.

on science, heres some augustine: "It is a disgraceful and dangerous thing for an infidel to hear a Christian, presumably giving the meaning of Holy Scripture, talking nonsense on these [scientific] topics; and we should take all means to prevent such an embarrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and laugh it to scorn."

There are a few things here. First, Augustine would have laughed you out of the room for your ideas of presumption, religious indifferentism, and probably whatever modern scientific notions you hold to. Second, I don't disagree with this quote at all, it's almost like you didn't read my response in the first ask. I said the thing holding most atheists back from at least sincerely investigating Christianity is the moral law, not "rejection of science." They can prop it up like it's about science with their reddit memes or whatever but it always always always comes back to slavery to their passions. Again, this is evident if you actually speak to people. I also specifically said it was fine to talk about theistic evolution, we should just be talking about both acceptable views on creation so as to broaden our range of evangelization.

honestly, your non-catechism posts always come off as very arrogant, and you seem to think as long as you stick to the letter of the law wrt church teaching that makes it acceptable, its a shame. you dont need to post this if you dont want, but please think on it.

I'm sorry if I come off that way, I really don't think I do. I've had that issue in the past and I've tried to work on it. It's the reason I only have this blog now and I try to limit my personal posting. I think you should maybe reflect on your own self before criticizing me, though, since you came into my ask box very smarmy and then followed it up with more snarky and rude behavior. "Oh and here's some Augustine." give me a break. I have a rule about going back and forth with anons so if you actually want to talk about this more you can message me but I won't be responding to your asks anymore.

[saint-ambroses-bees]

@argument-side-blog cause I can’t reblog your post for whatever reason

"You’re missing the entire point of my argument. I am not saying that catholicism is right."

No, in that case, it is actually YOU who is missing the point of MY argument. Because if you cannot respond to the multiple different places where I've challenged the false teachings, evil deeds and inherent corruption of the Catholic Church, whatever else you might have to say is basically pointless.

That’s not what we’re discussing. This evidence is irrelevant in the context of the question of whether Augustine is catholic or not. This evidence is redundant because you’ve sent it to me before. I am getting to it, but this post is about Saint Augustine. Please start a new one if you’d like to discuss something on an entirely different topic

It's like saying "Yeah sure, we allied with the nazis, raped kids and lied about the origin of our authority to do these things, but my guy Augustine over here said it's cool!"

why is this relevant

We can talk about the evils that come from the people in the church, but why are we talking about it on a post about what saint augustine believes

Send me an ask or something to start another thread about a different topic if you want to talk about a different topic

So even setting aside the fact that your argument is factually wrong and you have de facto already surrendered the debate by agreeing that the overwhelming majority of what I've said is true,

How the hell is my argument factually wrong? I presented things that Augustine has said that contradict what you said. I did say some stuff about Tradition, but that’s irrelevant in the context of the question of whether Augustine is catholic or not. What did I agree with that you take as a surrendering of debate?

even if we say your supposed defense of Augustine is valid, why would I even care?

You’re literally a Christian my guy you’re supposed to look for the truth

In that case Augustine should just spend eternity in a dark place with the rest of the Catholics.

You’re literally a Christian my guy you’re supposed to love your enemy

"You also argued that Augustine believed in sola scriptura so i responded with citations of primary texts in which he says that Tradition is actually good, which as far as i know is a no-no with sola scriptura, so i did respond to your argument"

You quoted a few things he said, giving no context to when, where or to whom he said them, and then you mic dropped as if that proved your argument. You provided no sources and only minimal rhetorical support for your claim.

Did you read my post

I linked the primary texts

I gave instructions on where to look

But sure, here you go:

"For if the lineal succession of bishops is to be taken into account, with how much more certainty and benefit to the Church do we reckon back till we reach Peter himself, to whom, as bearing in a figure the whole Church, the Lord said: Upon this rock will I build my Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it! Matthew 16:18 The successor of Peter was Linus, and his successors in unbroken continuity were these:— Clement, Anacletus, Evaristus, Alexander, Sixtus, Telesphorus, Iginus, Anicetus, Pius, Soter, Eleutherius, Victor, Zephirinus, Calixtus, Urbanus, Pontianus, Antherus, Fabianus, Cornelius, Lucius, Stephanus, Xystus, Dionysius, Felix, Eutychianus, Gaius, Marcellinus, Marcellus, Eusebius, Miltiades, Sylvester, Marcus, Julius, Liberius, Damasus, and Siricius, whose successor is the present Bishop Anastasius."

This quote is given in the context of Augustine writing to a friend who received a letter from a donatist. This specific Donatist apparently rejected the See because of corruption (donatists believed that ministers had to be sinless for sacraments to work or something) and Augustine spoke about the succession in the donatist’s city and then in Rome. He calls back to Apostolic succession in this quote.

Translated by J.G. Cunningham. From Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, First Series, Vol. 1. Edited by Philip Schaff. (Buffalo, NY: Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1887.) Revised and edited for New Advent by Kevin Knight. <http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/1102053.htm>.

"For already have two councils on this question been sent to the Apostolic see; and rescripts also have come from thence. The question has been brought to an issue; would that their error may sometime be brought to an issue too!"

This quote is from a sermon on which Saint Augustine speaks on the line ‘unless you eat the flesh’; at the end (that which is quoted) he says that the Apostolic See gets the final say, and that we should listen to the end which Rome comes to.

Translated by R.G. MacMullen. From Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, First Series, Vol. 6. Edited by Philip Schaff. (Buffalo, NY: Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1888.) Revised and edited for New Advent by Kevin Knight. <http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/160381.htm>.

"As to those other things which we hold on the authority, not of Scripture, but of tradition, and which are observed throughout the whole world, it may be understood that they are held as approved and instituted either by the apostles themselves, or by plenary Councils, whose authority in the Church is most useful, e.g. the annual commemoration, by special solemnities, of the Lord's passion, resurrection, and ascension, and of the descent of the Holy Spirit from heaven, and whatever else is in like manner observed by the whole Church wherever it has been established."

This quote is from a letter to a friend who is wondering why different dioceses have different traditions (little t traditions, not Sacred Tradition). Augustine states at the beginning that certain things are permanent because of Scripture and Tradition, and that things like fasting on certain days are not necessarily bound by either.

Translated by J.G. Cunningham. From Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, First Series, Vol. 1. Edited by Philip Schaff. (Buffalo, NY: Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1887.) Revised and edited for New Advent by Kevin Knight. <http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/1102054.htm>.

I could quote and explain the other ones, but the important part is that they mention Tradition as a source of authority. Continuing

In my original post, I quoted Augustine (keeping in mind that you have not disputed the quote itself),

Yes i did

Multiple times

I explicitly said that the paragraph you quoted actually says the opposite of what you say it says twice now

gave contextual explanation of why I felt the quote supported my view of the situation,

it doesn’t

then cited several additional sources which also presented the same thesis with additional supporting facts.

Here's the thing, not only did you misunderstand the quote by not reading the entire passage, but Augustine clearly elsewhere relies on Tradition as a source of authority. All he says in this passage, which btw, I have said like eight times now, is that we should be skeptical of anything new that we read. He also says that we can use the opinions of others that we know to be true because of divine help to see whether something is right or not. You quoted something that actively argues against your own point.

Sorry, but I'm going to say that my original argument still stands, even aside from the fact that your rebuttal was irrelevant.

You didn’t read my rebuttal

"I’ve hit at least two links that lead to a page that says there’s nothing to be found"

Then you are either lying or there is a technical problem on your end, because as I said, I double checked every single link I provided and they all worked. Either way, not my fault.

Technical problem I think. I can no longer see your blog. Sometimes tumblr lets me see your posts and sometimes it says they don’t exist

"These are massive questions..."

It isn't a question. There are no questions here. I haven't asked you a question.

Did you read the sentence before that one??? I said it in reference to the article which you sent me? It contains many questions about what tradition is. I imagine if you sent me the article that you wanted me to be concerned with its substance?

I gave you evidence that the Catholic Church is evil and that it has lied about it's pedigree. You can agree that I'm right, or you can explain how I'm wrong.

Fantastic. How does this coincide with Augustine’s being catholic. Because this is what this post is about, isn’t it?

And as you did in this latest response, you have mostly agreed that the majority of my argument is factually accurate.

What does that prove? Majority is not entirety.

You have only "disagreed" to a limited extent by either quoting Augustine or by making some vague philosophical objections.

It’s not vague, it’s broad. Ask narrower questions and I’ll give narrower answers.

If this debate were being judged by an outside party, I think it is safe to say they wouldn't be voting for you at this point.

It’s a good thing truth isn’t democratic isn’t it

"We literally agree with this"

See what I mean?

Because we do?

"Tradition is only Tradition if it agrees with scripture If it doesn’t, it’s not Tradition"

That isn't actually what the Catholic Church teaches or says.

Yes it does CCC 80 they must flow out of the same stream, they must be in agreement

According to the Catholic Church, it's clerics, priests, popes, etc, can write new rules and traditions at any time and those writings are given equal weight as scripture.

nope

If the new traditions and other church doctrines appear to conflict with scripture, rather than answering those contradictions, Catholics merely say things like "we wrote the bible so we know what it means" or "only the church has authority to interpret scripture."

No we don’t

Catholics never explain or defend their interpretation of scripture beyond invoking their exclusive authority, which is the circular reasoning which I cited earlier.

Yes we do

The Catholic Church also plays shell games with the supposed "infallibility" of the Pope, as I have previously pointed out.

The pope is not the same entity as the church, you realize this right? The pope has free will and can be a sinner if he so chooses. This is why there’s this specific regulation in place.

And I do not see how Augustine, having explicitly said that laypersons had every right to question so-called church authorities, would support such blatant abuse of power. Not that I care what Augustine thinks either way, but I remain unconvinced that he would support the obvious heresy and hypocrisy which is the modern day Roman Catholic Church.

How about the passage i quoted where he says that rome gets the final say and that we should listen to rome

"You assume that I don't have a life... Be patient."

I don't make assumptions about you, other than that you are Catholic and that you seem unable to explain where my arguments are wrong. And considering both of those assumptions are supported by the available facts, I believe they are justified assumptions.

It’s very difficult to read anything you send from a practical standpoint because every link leads to eighteen other links which in turn lead to even more and so on and so on and so on

So yes, i am not unable to explain that your arguments are wrong, i am unable to read a huge collection of arguments in a short time period. It takes me hours to get through a single article from the summa. There is a difference.

I have a life too. And Reformation Day is over. I've got other stuff to do this week, including preparing for Pope Night as my next Catholic bashing holiday of choice.

Glad you’re keeping up with your hobbies

And since this is my post and my blog, I'm going to invoke home rule

You invited me to this particular post, I say be hospitable (and rational).

and say you need to play by my rules and my timetable. If you haven't got a response because you need to go "research" more, so be it.

I know you’d like me to say stupid shit so you can go oh look stupid catholics but actually no i’m not gonna do that

What possible reason would you have to restrict someone to a specific timetable in an internet debate? If we were talking in person and I sat down for four days, sure. But we aren’t. So why?