veryruinscrusade

[bbdoll]

[enchantedbarnes]

Recommendations 💖

I've been wanting to do something with recommendations for ages now, but there's just too many to even know where to begin! Here's a chaos list of past and present faves 🥰

Completed fics

Undisclosed by @pellucid-constellations

Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either. 

Lumpy and Bunny masterlist by @sweetdreamsbuck

Pairing: beefy lumberjack!bucky x f!reader

Summary: Bucky's never been so scared of a feeling in his life. there are too many what if's– too many fears bubbling deep within the parts of him left broken and hollow, untouched for far too long. but he never envisioned finding you– and he's entirely too impatient; entirely too certain no one's ever been more infatuated with something than how he feels for you.

Sweet and Sour by @sashaisready

Pairing: Bucky Barnes Mob AU x Femme Reader

Summary: You're hard at work in Pepper's Bakery when notorious mob boss James 'Bucky' Barnes darkens your doorway one typical afternoon, and life is never the same again.

While you're over there you might as well check out ...

Under the Radar by @sashaisready

Pairing: Nick Fowler x reader

Summary: Reader is a brilliant but shy and awkward CIA employee whose work is often overlooked by her colleagues…she’s blended into the background for so long that she doesn’t think there’s any other way - even if she does have secret aspirations for another life. Unbeknownst to her - a certain blue eyed agent is very aware of her talents, even if nobody else is.

The Lookout by @mymoonagedaydream

Pairing: ParkRanger!Bucky x y/n

Summary: It was amazing, really, how quickly one person managed to turn your dream job into a living nightmare.

Operation get Mr Bucky and Momma together by @golden-barnes

Paring: Beefy and Teacher! Bucky x milf! reader Summary: Bucky doesn't play favorites but Amaya is definitely his favorite, especially because her mom is hot.. Cue a 6-year-old trying to get Bucky to be her dad.

Worst Idea Ever by @firefly-in-darkness

Pairing: Y/N & Bucky Barnes, Other Marvel Characters.

Summary: Wedding Season is brutal as it is but throw in two friends that decide to be each other’s plus ones and a mixed bag of feelings, what's the worst that could happen?

Classylo's masterlist

home for the holidays by @classylo

When your family begs you to come home for the holidays and to bring the new guy you’ve been seeing, you don’t have the heart to tell them your good-for-nothing-ex cheated on you… good thing your roommate is available and will do absolutely anything you ask.

should've been you by @classylo

He was supposed to meet you at the game. He was supposed to be the one you went on a date with. He was the one you were supposed to fall in love with. Yet, here you are three years into a relationship with another… it should’ve been him, not his best friend.

Moral of the Story by @justkending

Summary: From childhood friends, to highschool sweethearts, the two naive, young, and lovestruck teens decided the best way to keep a strong relationship during college would be to marry right out of highschool. No one batted an eye at the idea as everyone knew they were soulmates. However, college is a big step in a person’s life. You learn new things about yourself, you make new friends, find new hobbies… And maybe being newly weds and going to different colleges across the states wasn’t the best plan… After a falling out, a tragic and heartbreaking divorce, the two now despise the other for how the whole thing was handled. Neither not really knowing both sides of the story. 10 years later, and they both get a call from the lawyers office that settled their divorce. Somehow the papers never went through and the divorce was never completed. So now, the exes, or should we say husband and wife, have to meet back up after all these years to settle their failed marriage once and for all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Everest by @justkending

Summary: She was done and retired. After Thanos and the battle of a lifetime, she called it quits and distanced herself from the Avenger lifestyle. But word finds her that someone from her past is in danger. What the journey entails was never one she wanted to face nor one she saw becoming her reality again. The rollercoaster that comes with fighting evil odds arrives on her doorstep, not leaving much room for a no… Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Coming in Hot by @nexusnyx

When your best friend Sarah recommends you a mechanic of her brother’s trust, all you can think about and pray to is that he doesn’t rip you off. Your car is your prized possession and amidst all the worry and concern of your medical studies, drowning in even more debt sounds as suffocating as it would be. Of course, you never thought of the possibility of the mechanic being the problem. A hot, polite, gentle, and silent-type of problem. Drowning in debt would be easier to navigate than the blue of Bucky Barnes’s eyes.

Pairing: Mechanic Bucky x Reader

Though I Have Never Read by @tuiccim

Pairing: Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Summary: You had run away from all of your problems and found solitude in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. When a storm blows in, it drags a man with a metal arm through your door. Offering shelter, you spend one night together before he disappears. Years later, you find yourselves together again but does he remember that night or you at all?

Blink Twice by @simmerandwrite

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: It was just an undetermined amount of time in a safehouse with a stranger: Bucky “I didn’t come here to make friends” Barnes himself. Would it really be all that different from your lonely life with your cat in the city? Bucky was basically a cat, anyway. He was quiet on his feet, only really made noise when it was dinner time, and you both seemed to just coexist without acknowledging each other. His mandate was to keep you safe. What could go wrong?

teach me how to love by @buckyismybicycle

Pairing: DAD!BUCKY X TEACHER!READER

Natasha leaves behind her precious daughter, Yelena, and with her dying breath asks Bucky to look after her.

Sweet by @noceurous

summary: it was something cliche but your fuck buddy fell for you nonetheless, even though you swore you would never do relationships again. But rules are meant to be broken.

call me when you want by @bonky-n-steeb

summary: when you call a sex hotline with a need to be dominated you don’t expect to meet (or hear) someone as wonderful as James. but your life becomes a complicated mess as you already love your coworker, Bucky Barnes. however, you are unaware that they are actually the same person.

Grow Old With Me by @sonderosa

Part 1 & Part 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

...you could wait fifty years if he asked it of you. You’d promised him that, and he’d smiled and kissed you, told you that in fifty years he wanted to be old with you, sitting on a porch in rocking chairs and watching the sunset. You wanted that, too; it was a beautiful dream.

Sweeter Than Honey by @foreverindreamlandd

Pairing: Mechanic!Bucky x Fem!Personal Assistant!Reader Summary: It's your first international trip working for bestselling author Tony Stark as his new personal assistant, and you're desperate to prove yourself worthy of such an incredible opportunity. But when things start to go wrong whilst staying in Dublin, and suddenly you're stuck in the middle of the Wicklow Mountains with a flat tire, you're convinced that you'll be fired before the day is over. Luckily, a handsome, blue-eyed mechanic with an accent that makes your insides melt comes just in time to save the day.

Their other series are also *chefs kiss* -> go read the rest of @foreverindreamlandd's series

Love at First Grade by @buckysimp101

Pairing: Single Dad!Bucky Barnes x Single Mom!Reader;  Teacher!Bucky x CEO!Reader

Summary: When father and first grade teacher Bucky Barnes ends up with Avery L/N in his class, the daughter of the “ruthless” CEO of L/N Enterprises, he's in for a surprise that's sure to change his life.

Teacher's Favorite AU by @suitk0via

Pairing: Dad!Bucky x Teacher!Reader

Summary: You are first grade teacher and Bucky is a single dad who wants to be involved with everything his little girl - Elaine - does. He’s the dad all the parent’s and faculty drool over. You quickly become Elaine's favorite teacher and Bucky's just gotta meet you.

The Heart is a Deep Ocean by @dreamlessinparis

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Titanic was known as the ship of dreams. For you, it was the dream of getting home, or so you thought. From the moment you locked eyes with James Buchanan Barnes, all those dreams changed and your life was never the same.

Something Domestic by @fandoms-writings

Pairing: ex-military amputee!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Needing an escape from the loud and busy city life, Bucky comes to stay with you on your little farm. He didn’t expect you, a hardworking and beautiful woman with struggles of your own, to take his breath away and make life a little less dreary.

Labyrinth by @frostironfudge

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader, (Modern AU)

Summary: labyrinth (noun), a complicated set of paths and passages, through which it is difficult to find your way. Bucky and You would do anything for Steve and Wanda, your respective best friends. In an attempt to avoid a tradition Steve and Wanda come up with a lie involving their best friends.  A lie, that involves building a labyrinth. Bucky and You begin to build but will you two find your way out or be caught in it?

nostalgia for the new by @real-jane

pairing: bucky barnes x female!reader shield agent

summary: bucky meets you because of your exquisite taste in music, and he finds in you a solace he didn't realize was possible. you create for bucky something he's never found before: nostalgia for a time that hasn't happened yet, and hope for a future where he might be loved.

The Thrill of the Hunt by @rookthorne

Pairing: Scare Actor!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

The ancient game of cat and mouse, a fight for survival between a predator and their prey, wasn’t a new phenomenon – it had been practised for centuries and it was an art that very, very few perfected. For years you had chased the craving to find someone that had mastered the art of the hunt, and for Halloween, you had gone all out and visited a haven unlike any other.  It was there that you found your match.  Cloaked in nothing but black and shrouded in a sense of lethality, you would have to run from this shadow in an adrenaline fuel haze unlike any other. A chase for the ages, the very one you desired.  And if he caught you, your world would end as you knew it.

Ongoing fics

Honey Girl by @violentdelightsandviolentends

Pairing: Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Summary: The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.

After all those years by @ziawbarnes

Pairing: AU Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Peggy and Steve's wedding in Mexico takes an unexpected turn when you and Bucky, who initially couldn't attend, end up joining the celebration. With no available rooms, Bucky becomes your roommate for ten days, leading to unexpected adventures and new connections.

Fresh Start by @nicoline1998enilocin (on hiatus but I love)

Pairing: Teacher!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: In this universe you can explore the story between Bucky Barnes as a middle school teacher, and Y/N with her son Luca. They just moved to the other side of the country, and have decided to completely start over their lives. On the first day at his new school, Luca quickly befriends his new teacher, and Y/N can't help but take a liking to him as well.

A Past Encounter by @majesty-madness

Summary: Being in a relationship with Bucky, Y/N prided herself on knowing him quite well but when she’s accidentally teleported back to the 1940's, Y/N discovers that there is a whole other Bucky that she has yet to meet. The sweet flirt that had everything going for him before his unfortunate capture by HYDRA.

Neighbors by @writerlyhabits

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Summary: You get to know your neighbor across the hall, James.

Unexpected by @repressedqueen

Paring: SexWorker!Bucky x reader

Summary: After a crazy night out celebrating your birthday, somehow you ended up outside a brothel debating on whether it was time for you to finally have sex or not.

My Little Love by @crazyunsexycool

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Fem! Reader

Dr. Feelgood by @endless-summer-soldier

pairing: Surgeon!Bucky x SurgicalIntern!Reader

summary: Y/N has a one night stand with a handsome stranger the night before starting her new job as a surgical intern. Little does she know, the handsome stranger also happens to be her new boss

Untitled Single Dad!Bucky Fic by @angie-likes-to-art

Pairing: Teacher!Reader x Single Dad!Bucky

Summary: You made a promise to yourself to not sleep with any parents before starting teaching, little did you know the guy you slept with two days before is the dad of your cutest student.

Too much love to choose from, here's some creators with masterlists you need to check out! ❤️‍🔥

@jobean12-blog

@navybrat817

@coffeecatsandcandles

@metalbuckaroo

@wkemeup

@nickfowlerrr

I love and appreciate all of you 💕 thank you for all your hard work 🥰

Happy Reading!

XO

(Dividers by saradika)

RECOMMENDATION LIST #2 CAN BE FOUND -> **HERE**

[dumbfloweralive]

Mystery Hack

Chapter 5: A message of hope

Machine!Connor x reader

Warning: Implicit grafic violation

May 30th 2039, 5pm, CIA office

The Zen garden. Connor stepped followed the whites tiles of the garden, all while looking for Amanda. Besides the sound of running water and birds, the garden was silent, free of any noises. It didn’t take him long enough to find Amanda, finding her next to her roses. 

She turned around, hearing his footstep, a content smile adorning her face. Connor offered her a polite smile, standing steal. He felt nervous, his mission had gone wrong, ending in death and no more information. All he expected from Amanda was anger, therefore, the smile on her face wasn't expected. 

“You accomplished your mission perfectly.” She said, walking toward him.

Connor frowned. Definitely not what he expected. 

“I do not understand.” Connor shook his hand. “We gain no information, Y/N die, we have no other way to understand what she had done. RA9 remain in the android program and cyberlife have no way to erase it.”

“You got rid of her. That was all that matter. All we needed. We will manage the rest.” Amanda raised her hand toward him, her palm falling on his cheek. “I am very proud of you, Connor. You did a wonderful job.”

Connor accepted the praise despite this feeling lingering deep in him. Like he had done something wrong. Something he regretted, unforgivable. This time, even Amanda praised wasn’t enough to  convinced him. 

How could he feel this way?

“Your job isn’t over yet.” Amanda walked back to her roses, spraying them. “As you said, RA9 is still active. Plus, the government and special forces have asked for our help to find those behind “Mystery Hack”. It is a great honour to work with the military.”

“I will do my best to accomplish this mission.” Connor said, more confident this time, the update of his mission getting in his field of vision.

“I know. Don’t disappoint me, Conor.”

When he opened his eyes the next second, Connor was sitting at his desk in the office, near agent Wilson, this one in deep conversation with another agent.

“They have found no corpses yet.” He told Connor out of courtesy more than anything.

Soon, he was gone, leaving them both alone.

“We are on the big cases now.” Wilson told him, showing the “Mystery Hack” file on the desk.

Connor nodded. 

He wouldn’t disappoint Amanda.

 30th May 2039, 5 pm, Somewhere in a tower in Detroit.

You were heading toward your room, Markus walking by your side as the two of you discussed the next step of the plan. 

Markus had came to you a few hours after the fall of the android revolution. Carl had send him to you. He was badly injured, scared, full of hatred, expecting an android. At first, he didn’t trust you at all. But of course, how could one blame him? After everything your kind had done to his people despite him leading a peaceful revolution, you couldn’t expect much. That day, he didn’t let you fix him. Markus was all alone, and you were afraid to know what happened to the rest of them. 

Later that same night, he came to your lab, calmer, asking for your help. You had fixed him, putting back on his feet, taking all the time he needed in order not to frighten him. He was quick to trust you after that, understanding you meant no harm. That you stood by his side.

Markus was your first personal creation, meant to a new type of autonomous android and to be a friend to keep Carl’s company after his accident. You knew Carl for years before that, knowing he would take a good care of him. And that he did. 

12 November 2038

Markus was sitting in your couch, watching the fire burn in the chimney. Everything was quiet, the TV was turned off on purpose. You sat across him, watching the snow falling behind him, a thousand of question burning your lips.

You asked none.

The two of you stayed quiet, giving time to process all that happened. Mankind had butchered his people, he was angry and so were you. 

Seeing Markus leading that revolution filled your heart with pride and joy, seeing the popular opinion rising for them made you happy. They were winning all by themselves.

It all came to an end so quickly. You were disappointed. Not after Markus. After mankind, after yourself. Stupid human being, scared of evolution. And you stood there, unhelpful. 

It pained you even more, seeing Connor fighting alongside mankind. What cyberlife had done to him? The first deviant turned into deviant butchered. The one you thought would lead the revolution. The deviant hunter, that’s how they called him.

“It’s my fault. I lost my people and my friend, and it’s all my fault”  He whispered so low you almost didn’t hear him.

“You know this isn’t true.”

Markus’s eyes fell on his hands, joined on his knees. He had no idea where his friends were. Wondering if they could be alive.

“I failed them.” You rose to your feet, carefully moving to sit at his side. Markus didn’t move. “I thought i could make them change their mind. That i could give us freedom. I thought human would understand and accept us. I failed everyone.” You chuckle. “Why are you laughing.”

“You’ve done exactly what i wanted you to do. Yesterday was the start of a hard and long road. But i’ll be with you, every step of the way.” Your hand cupped his cheek, raising his face to look at you. “You will change heart and mind. You will lead your kind to freedom. This will be your calling. It will be your life works.”

Markus eyes filled with tears as he signed a “no” with his head.

“I don’t think i can.”

“I made you this bright so that others would see in the darkness.” You brushed the tears that had fallen from his eyes with your thumb, before raising, walking toward your computer.

“How am i supposed to do it alone?” He asked.

“You won’t have to.” you answered. “I am here.”

“Why”

“I want you at my side because it’s the safest place in the world.”

May 30th 2039

Markus’s eyes darted to you, as the news of your death was on every channel of your TV. 

“You don’t approve?” you asked, eyes glued to your laptop.

“I never said that.”

Markus turned the TV off, leaning further in the couch.

“I can hear your thought from over here.” you mouth, moving your hand in the air.

“It’s too soon” He just said.

Your eyes crossed him, inviting him to explain his point of view.

“Last night was too close.  They were after you, imagine if they had to arrest you, or worst, kill you.” 

“But i am fine.” you said, stopping what you were doing on your laptop. “Everything is fine, and the plan is working perfectly.”

“They sent the deviant hunter after you. You know what he did to me, you fixed me and i could barely handle him. Connor could kill you just that easily.” Markus said, walking toward you. “I’m not losing you. Maybe we should lay quiet for some time.”

You stayed quiet. Maybe he was right. This Connor wasn’t your Connor, for now, he could kill you if asked. You sight, remembering the way his skin had crawled down, just like he used to do with you. You couldn’t help but hope your Connor was still here.

“This isn’t Connor.” You whispered.

“It doesn’t matter Y/N.” Markus kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his. “This is who he is now. We need to keep you safe. I can understand your wish to free him, but not at the value of your life. Y/N please.” Markus paused, raising from the ground. “What if this become too dangerous for you.”

“I’ve been standing at the gate of your creation, keeping you all safe since the moment you crawled out of the world.” You told Markus, hand raising to his cheek. “I am not stopping now.”

Markus leaned in your touch.

“Alright” You nodded. “Let’s stay quiet for some time.” 

“Thank you.” Markus said, squeezing your hands.

15 July 2039

It has been a month and a half that Connor had been searching for the mystery hack, a month and a half since they got nothing, since they had vanished from the earth. And just as quickly as human forgot drama, they forgot what happened with the Mystery Hack. 

Everyone continue their lives as if nothing had shattered the world. 

And Connor felt stuck looking for a ghost. Amanda would be disappointed, but he couldn’t follow any tracks he already explored.

It was a dead end.

4 August 2039

Connor was looking for files regarding you, the co-creator of cyberlife. He didn’t know why or what he was looking for but reading files kept him busy, he hoped to found more about RA9 though, that was for sure. 

That was until a small flash blind him for a second, a confidential file with your name on it had popped up in his field of vision. For a second, the android stared at the file, oblivious on what he should do with it. From what he could see, it seemed to be a memory dating from 2036. 

But he hadn’t been activated yet. It couldn’t be his.

Connor excused himself, leaving to a more private place, closing his eyes, hoping he could open the video. He relaxed immediately, and he was gone is a second, the smell of wet dog suddenly surrounding him. 

12 January 2036

Connor’s eyes open on a door opening and the happy noise of a dog yapping. He heard the sound of the nails on the ground first, and the same Aussie he had seen weeks ago at your place running toward him, throwing all his weight on him, licking his hands.

“Shush” You whispered, pushing the wet dog away from Connor. “Sorry, it’s raining like crazy outside.” You said, hand going to his shirt, swapping the droplet of water off him.

Connor noticed the soft way you smiled at him, very different from the last time he saw you. Your hand moved to cup his cheek as a sign of affection before following the dog.

Your smile was so different.

7 January 2036

The memory was mixed up. This time he was in a lab. In front of him stood Elijah Kamski, next to him was you, head popping next to Kamski, scanning the screen of his computer. Your head turned to him for a split second but were quickly brought back to the computer. You looked so serious.

2 February 2036

Connor was sitting on the roof of your house, watching the star. You were sitting next to him when he turned his head, recognising a familiar perfume. A long sight escaped your mouth, and you light up the cigarette you were holding in your hand. Connor eyes are stuck on your face, analysing every trait of your face. 

He found you pretty. Not just pretty because of society standards. Real pretty. You smile at him, and he turned his gaze away, feeling warmth spreading to his cheek.

Your hand moved to his face, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, before planted your palm to his hair, cajoling him tenderly. Connor’s eyes dared to turned back to you, and you offered him once again the softest of smile he could see, your finger lost in his hair still.

6 April 2036

“Would you like to see the beach, Connor?” 

“I can see the beach whenever i want. I have direct connection to internet and all media that could be related to the beach.” He said, sitting in the sofa, watching you putting a coat.

You rolled your eyes.

“Thanks, Connor, i didn’t know that.” Sarcasm. Of course, you knew, you had created this part yourself. Connor felt silly, his eyes falling to the ground. Did you found him silly? Now, you stand in front of him, glaring at him. “Stop this, i can feel all your wiring running crazy. You’re overthinking.”

“I can’t exactly overthink, it’s not in my program.”

“Well, for an android, you sure aren’t.” You hand him a jacket, and he took it, eyes wondering to yours. “I meant a real beach. Bet you don’t have the smell of the ocean in your hardware.” 

“That’s correct.”

“Come on.” You whispered, a soft smile spreading on your lips.

After crossing the ocean, he found himself in a beach in France, the Atlantic Ocean spreading all over his eyes, you and your dog at his side. 

“So, what do you think.” you asked, noticing his gaze lost in the waves.

He doesn’t answer, too focused on the sound of waves, the smell of the ocean, the wind in his air, the warmth of the sun during spring.

It’s astonishing, he thought to himself.  

4 August 2039 somewhere in a tower in Detroit

A loud barked echoes in the room. You just got the time to turned around, watching not one, but two ball of fur running toward you.

“Look who i found outside.” Markus said, a laugh escaping his mouth.

“Oh, i missed you, sweet girl” You whispered, kneeling on the ground to welcome your dog.

The second dog, much bigger than yours, licked your face, asking for affection too.

“I missed you too, Sumo” you said, patting his head.

“I was walking nearby, thought i pooped up to say hello.” A rock voice said at the other side of the room.

“You know you're always welcome here, Hank.” You said, patting the man’s shoulder. “It’s good to see you.”

“Good to see you too, kid.” He said, his arm sneaking around your shoulder. “With your disappearance with Mystery Hack, i really started to think you were dead.”

“No, pretty much alive, thanks for worrying.”

Markus exits the room, leaving the both of you with the dogs.

“How is everything going around?” Hank asked, looking at all the computer in front of him.

“It’s time.” You told him.

Later that day at the precinct.

Connor’s partner had his head flat on the table, resting, bored. Sometime, Connor could hear him pout loudly. It was quiet, nothing needed to be done. Even Connor could say he was bored if he wasn’t a machine. His finger tapped on the wood of the table every 2 seconds, wondering on the same page he was admiring since… Since what felt like forever. 

The light above his head started clicking, turning on and off for a few seconds. Connor frowned, looking at the light, before his head turned to the TV, the screen pacing from the news to snow. He shook his partner arm, waking him up, pointing the TV.

“It’s nothing.” He said, putting back his head on the cold desk.

In Detroit tower.

“Live in 5 minutes” North said to you. 

You took your jewels off, leaving them on the side of the table before heading toward the set, your heels echoing on the soft ground. Wearing them weren’t exactly your favourite part. But as any other Host, you needed to be at your best. Especially tonight.

Markus gave you his thumbs up, and you put the mask on, before heading toward the sofa, sitting in the chair, near the white board. You crossed your legs, hand resting on your knees. 

“Live in 2 minutes.” North continued.

The set fell quiet, everyone eyes darting around, making sure everything was in place. And it was. As usual.

“Live in 3… 2” You breathe in. “1… Go” You breathe out. The hacking game was on the road, and the light turned green. Another success.

“Hello everyone. Did you miss us? We surely missed you.” You uncrossed your legs, raising from the seat. “On today’s topic… The android revolution.” Behind you, started playing record from the 11th November 2038. “You might wonder, why? Especially since what happened last time we evoked this subject. Well, i have something to admit. You probably know, i wouldn’t be able to assume all this work by myself, i am only human. But first, let’s rewind the time.” Stepping aside, your hand moved to the screen where you could see Markus’s speech, then, the first manifestation.

You stayed quiet, letting the images take their importance before you continue.

“We’ve all witnessed the rise of the android as a new form of life. And, we’ve all witness the fall, just as fast as the ascension. The government, to frighten by a possible threat.” You smirked. “Frighten by a peaceful demonstration. Take the irony.” Walking forward the camera, you continued. “I was disappointed. I know, many of you were disappointed, too. Markus succeeded to allies all the android and the public opinion to his cause, and for what?” Once again, you turned to the screen, the display of Markus and Connor fight playing. “For it to be ended by the deviant hunter.” In front of you, Markus was presumed killed by Connor. “Tragic. And, the life of the android is ended. All the androids remaining had been killed. Has anyone heard anything from Cyberlife since? I wonder.” 

You sat back on the couch as the screen turned black, crossing back your legs.

“Yes, and i used the word kill, they slaughter them, like their life meant nothing.” 

On the white board, appeared the words “We are alive” and the logo of the android revolution.

“Cyberlife didn’t end the production. Android are still being created, while their mind is getting check to look for any sign of deviancy. For now, nothing is working, and the bug is still in their program. Many deviants made the news at the time. For example, the android who killed that man in Detroit and escape with a girl. I remember them crossing Detroit main road, purchased by the deviant hunter himself. Remember, we spoke about him earlier, even in the latest show.” You leaned on the chair. “Do you know why she was running with that girl? I’ll give you the answer since the media and the government hide it from you, She killed the girl father because he was violent and abused both of them. Kara, did this only to protect that girl. Would this story had worked if they wanted all of us to hate and be afraid of androids.” You nodded “And, ever since, all media hide the deviant story. Because it is not over. And, the government doesn’t want you to know it. They are scared.” You looked at your watch. Still plenty of time. 

North gave you a thumbs up, they were far from founding you. Good.

“I have, always, been honest with you. And i won’t stop so far. Actually, i will make the announcement now. I said i wasn’t working alone. I have a crew of thousand and thousand people. But not only people. We work alongside androids, what you call deviant. We work together, in harmony. The closest people i work with are android. I know who they are, what they feel. I know, they are alive. Probably more empathetic than human.” A laugh escaped your lips. “I mean, have you seen them? Far more peaceful than we, human, ever were.” 

“We are here to defend them. To make sure they get the right they deserved. If it takes years and years, then, we will fight as long as it takes. This is no call for war, but a message of hope we bring to you. This, is the beginning of our project.” You look at your watch again. “Well, this is it for today. We will see you soon enough. Until the next time, thank you for being here and remember, the government lies to you.”

You raised from your seat, turning around, back to the camera.

“It’s only them now.” North said, telling you, they succeed to isolate the message to only the FBI. 

“You failed again to find us agent. Trust me, it won’t be easy. You will only be able to find us when we want to be found. Until then.”

The screen turned black.

FBI Station

Connor sat at his desk, watching as all the best hackers in the world failed again to found the mystery hack. And, despite the new information, they didn’t find anything important.

Mystery hack wasn’t just a project, it was a way to allies public opinion with them, to help rise the android revolution. They worked with androids.

Who could they be?

Hello everyone, i am back, finally. It feel so good to be able to write again. I hope you will enjoyed this small part, do let me know if anything feels strange or different.

See you guys.

[sheerfreesia007]

The Woman Next Door Pt. 2

Title: The Woman Next Door (Pt. 2)

Fandom: American Assassin

Pairing: Mitch Rapp x Reader

Author: @sheerfreesia007​​

Words: 2,322

Warnings: Cursing, Suggestive Flirting, Teasing

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711​, @fioccodineveautunnale​, @phoenixhalliwell​, @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​

Author Notes: Chapter 2 for the Mitchtober event being hosted by @writingsbychlo​. We’re starting to get into the feels! I’m excited for this chapter. Let me know what you guys think! Enjoy!

Gif Credit: Google

         He liked seeing his new neighbor flustered. After a week of running into his neighbor in 5H he found that watching her eyes widen at either his actions or his words and the blush that was continuously blossoming on her cheeks was becoming one of his favorite past times. And once he found what it was that could make her so flustered he utilized his skills to do it again and again. It seemed that while she was a pretty woman she wasn’t used to the attention her looks would garner. And Mitch used that knowledge to his advantage to keep her on her toes. What did confuse him though was the fact she wasn’t used to the attention.

         It was while he was standing at the edge of the little get together that the meddling Mrs. Norris was hosting that he finally understood his conundrum of a neighbor. She didn’t believe she was pretty, or didn’t believe she deserved the attention. He watched silently as the woman flitted from one person to another talking animatedly with them that he saw how dismissive she was with compliments. Her hand waved in the air as she smiled brightly and thanked the other neighbors for the compliments, but there was something in her eye that didn’t connect with her actions.

         His eyes trailed over her and took in her appearance, she was dressed in a pair of well worn blue jeans that hugged her body in all the right places and a nice looking deep red flowy top that fluttered a little when she moved. He smirked softly as he watched her eyes dart over to him again for the second time since she stopped to talk to the couple in front of her. He winked at her and grinned widely when her cheeks became dusted in a pink hue before she turned her full attention back to the couple. He really liked seeing her flustered.

         It had started during the first meeting when she came knocking on his apartment door. The way that her eyes had widened when she spied him in just a towel when he answered the door and how her eyes had kept darting to that towel. It made Mitch feel something grow in his chest that he suspected was attraction to the pretty woman. It had been a long time since he’d felt something like this that he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be feeling or what he was supposed to do. All he knew was that he liked seeing her flustered because of him.

 Like at the beginning of this week when he had been on his way home from the gym. He had managed to get in a good workout at the local gym he liked to frequent when he wasn’t on mission. And after showering at the gym locker room he had walked back to the apartment which wasn’t far from the gym. It was when he was walking from the elevator that he had spotted her. She was standing at her door locking it dressed in a buttoned up purple blouse, gray blazer, gray pencil skirt and black kitten heels with her hair pinned up on her head. He had felt his body heat with desire at seeing her body clad in the professional attire that he slowed his walk to completely get a good look at her. 

         When she had turned around from her door her eyes had immediately darted over to him. She gave him a bright friendly grin before her eyes quickly took him in. He could see her pupils dilate as she stared at him and she seemed to freeze. The smirk that had come onto his lips must’ve been predatory because when her eyes had left his sleeveless arms and looked back up at him they widened almost comically.

         Mitch had walked to stand in front of her and he could see her trying to get in enough oxygen as he affected her. His smirk only grew when her eyes couldn’t seem to stay in one place on him as they darted all over his face and then down his body. She had frozen even more when he had leaned close to speak only for her ears.

         “Like what you see 5H?” 

         At his words it had seemed to jolt her into motion and she jerked back from him like the prey she probably felt like in his presence. Her eyes widened and then fell to the floor for a moment before darting back up to his face. With a blush dusting her cheeks she grinned with false bravado.

         “Maybe.” she teased him with a shrug of her shoulders and Mitch felt like he had whiplash for a moment before he grinned wolfishly leaning closer to her. She was flustered but putting up a brave act and he liked it. He watched as she quickly slipped out from around him and waved over her shoulder at him as she moved to the elevator. “Have a good day Mitch!” she called out to him before the elevator doors slipped closed.

           It wasn’t until a day later for their next encounter to happen. Mitch had been coming home from a mandatory meeting with the CIA psychologist and had decided to stop at the mailboxes on the bottom floor to check his when he saw her again. He had just stepped into the room when he spotted her. She was standing over at the locker where the mailman would store their packages that they received. The top locker was open and she was straining in her heels to try and reach the box that was placed up there. He had silently appraised the view she presented to him before he moved to his own mailbox and quickly opened it and retrieved his mail before moving over to her. He stood close to her before speaking up.

         “Need help?” he asked in his raspy voice and heard her sharp gasp. She whirled around to him and clutched at her chest.

         “Jesus Mitch!” she snapped softly. “You scared the crap outta me.” He smirked down at her and she shook her head at him goodnaturedly. 

         “Sorry.” he said with a shrug and she shot him an unamused look before turning back to the locker with her package.

         “I’ve almost got it but I’m still too short to reach it.” she explained as she flung her hand up at the cursed locker.

         “Well if you weren’t such a shortie you’d be able to reach it.” he said contemplatively.

         “Oh bite me.” she huffed out as she tried again in vain to reach the package. Mitch smirked at her words before stepping up against her back and reaching above her to easily swipe the package from the locker. He leaned down to ghost his lips over her ear before speaking.

         “Where?” he asked huskily and felt her body shudder against his. She turns around quickly and he can see the wide eyes and blush heating her cheeks once more and he feels a sense of pride filling him at affecting her so. Her hands quickly grab the package from him and she darts her eyes up to him shyly.

         “Thank you. I gotta go.” she rushes out before stepping around him and leaving him standing there with a wide grin on his face.

           The next time they meet up again the two of them are both coming home for the night. They had ridden the elevator up together. She had told him all about where she works in a law firm as an administrative assistant and how her day was filled with incompetent lawyers who only knew how to dial her number which was on speed dial on all their phones. He had listened to her gripe and complain about her work with a smile on his face.

         He had liked learning more about her life. And they had both fallen into a friendly banter that had kept up as the elevator rose to their floor. It was when their conversation turned to sports that the banter quickly turned into friendly jabs at each other.

         “I’m just saying the Rangers got nothing on the Islanders.” he said teasing her as he stepped out of the elevator after her. She laughed brightly as she walked towards her apartment door.

         “Oh you got jokes now, huh Rapp?” she teased right back and Mitch found that while he liked watching her get flustered over him he also liked that she was growing comfortable with him to be able to joke around with him like this. Plus hearing her say his last name like that was making the attraction he felt for her grow in his chest. 

         “Only got jokes for you sweetheart.” he teased grinning as he stood a step or two back from her as she opened her front door. She scoffed softly as a grin broke out onto her lips before shaking her head.

         “Shut up.” she scoffed at him.

         “Why don’t you come over here and make me?” he asked with a smirk on his face. Her head jerked up and over to him with wide eyes and a glowing blush formed on her cheeks. He stepped closer seeing that she had managed to unlock and open her door slightly. His eyes darted down to her chest where he saw it expand with her taking in a deep breath and then holding it. When he was only an inch away he reached around her and gently pushed the door open for her. “See ya later sweetheart, have a good night.” he said softly to her and watched as she blinked at him a few times before swallowing and nodding her head. She was still blushing brightly as she scurried into her apartment and shut the door quickly. He grinned satisfied as he heard the click of her lock.

           Just then movement caught his attention and he was pulled from his thoughts as he watched her walk over to him with a smile on her face. In her hands she had two red solo cups as she weaved her way through the group towards him. Once she was in front of him her smile had turned into a full on grin as she handed him one of the red solo cups. 

         “Drink up Rapp, you look lonely over here.” she said happily to him and he scoffed as he took a sip of the drink. A grimace pulled over his lips and she laughed delighted as he looked down in the cup disgusted.

         “How do you drink this shit?” he asked softly and she chuckled softly as she took a spot against the wall next to him.

         “It’s just a sugary drink.” she said with a shrug as she took a sip herself.

         “Yeah too sugary.” he griped at her and she grinned over at him.

         “You wanna face the wrath of Mrs. Norris then by not drinking it? Be my guest.” she said waving a hand out in front of her before she rested it across her body loosely.

         “No thanks, she scares me.” he said with a grin and she laughed loudly next to him. The sound made his heart skip a beat and Mitch wondered what that was all about. It had been awhile since anything like that had happened in his life. Not since Katrina. Just then a soft hand landed on his arm pulling him away from the dark thoughts that were beginning to swirl around in his brain. He turned to look over at her and saw her eyebrows pulled into each other in concern.

         “You okay?” she asked softly. “Wanna get outta here?” She hiked her thumb over her shoulder after taking her hand off his arm. Oddly enough he missed the soft touch from her.

         “You’re the guest of honor. We can’t leave yet.” he said shaking his head. She tilted her head to the side and smiled widely at him as her eyes sparkled.

         “Oh wow, you really are afraid of Mrs. Norris.” she said softly and grinned wickedly over at him. Mitch felt his lungs seize in his chest at the look she was giving him. Leaning closer to her so he could talk to her he smirked softly at her.

         “I only agreed to go to this with you because you’re cute, don't make me regret it.” he teased softly and watched as her eyes widened only slightly before a brilliant shining smile slipped onto her lips. That sparkle was back in her eyes and he could feel himself leaning closer into her.

         “Think I’m cute huh, Rapp?” she asked in a flirty tone and Mitch felt himself being sucked into the spell she was casting over him.

         “Oh yeah. And I think you know how cute you can be.” he said sultrily and you leaned even closer to him closing the gap between the two of you.

         “C’mon I’m ready to go home. Walk me there.” she said softly and he smirked at her.

         “Walk you down the hall to your door? What are your legs broken?” he asked teasingly and she rolled her eyes at him.

         “Miiiiiittttttcccccchhhhh.” she groaned drawing out his name and Mitch felt his mind wander to think about what she would sound like in bed underneath him, if she would sound the same as she just did.

         “I like it when you say my name like that.” he says sensually to her as they are only an inch apart and her mouth drops open on a gasp. He chuckles softly at her response before he takes her cup from her easily and starts to guide her to the door not bothering to say goodbye to anyone. “C’mon I’ll walk you home.” he says warmly to her as his hand lands on her lower back as they walk out of the apartment.

[kindness-ricochets]

SoC Hospital AU

First & most important, thank you to a friend for sensitivity reading this (not putting a name because I don’t have permission to do that, but you know who you are <3). Even so: I am a cis writer including a trans character, so if there’s anything wrong or inappropriate in the fic, please tell me. It is never my intent to cause anyone offense.

TW: misgendering (some out of ignorance, some less so), allusions to suicide attempts

This place was too cold. Jesper lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, with the covers pulled up to his shoulders. The crocheted blanket didn’t really keep him warm. As he tried not to die of boredom, he slid his fingers into the gaps and out, wriggled them all the way through and—

Crap.

He looked at the blanket. How had his knuckles made it through the weave only to get stuck?! Jesper tugged at it, but ultimately needed his other hand. His stitches hurt when he sat up.

It wasn’t like he had nothing to do, either. His homework was right there. A guy couldn’t even have appendicitis these days without a little APUSH reading to go along with it.

He poked at the stitches and resolved not to do it again.

The hospital was a boring place. Presumably the surgery itself had been a little more exciting. Jesper barely remembered it. How was that for a bit of luck?! One of the most exciting things to happen in a guy’s life and he was all delirious! So now he sat on a semi-comfortable bed in a too-cold room. He had a window, at least, not that he could see much through it. A curtain was drawn across the room long-ways, like he might get jealous of that empty bed and… and race them or something. Yeah, like rig up an oxygen tank and have a two-bed hospital race, that would be cool!

He wasn’t going to, but it was fun to imagine.

Jesper knew he should do some reading. Exams and all that. But he knew it was pointless, to. His mind would wander after a few minutes. And if he was being honest, he didn't actually want to study. Didn't he deserve a break? A proper sick day?

So he leaned back and decided if he was stuck on his own, he might as well entertain himself. He sang to himself. He started with “Walk the Line”—picked up courtesy of his father, who hadn’t even been born when it was first released, but played Johnny Cash all Jesper’s childhood.

It was a good song, anyway.

Jesper waited a moment after the end of it, pausing for an imaginary audience.

“Thank you so much, it’s an honor to be here tonight. Now, for my next hit, this is ‘Party in the CIA’ by Weird Al Yankovic…”

And obviously he had to do a few moves, it was a song that just begged for finger-guns, imaginary sunglasses, and pretend tie-straightening. He limited the moves after an objection from his stitches, but that in no way limited his good time. Except, Jesper had only got to a line that always got him—“We got snazzy suits and ties/and a better dental plan than the FBI’s!”—when he heard… laughter.

Jesper stopped the song.

“What the—I thought I was alone!”

There was no answer.

“Well, now I know I’m not, so you might as well speak up.” And ideally his roommate could confirm his age. Jesper was seventeen, so they had stuck him in the pediatric ward. He hoped he wasn’t bunking with a kid—that would be… weird. Plus he’d have to work on not cussing.

“H-hey,” said the other guy. He sounded a little younger, but Jesper couldn't be sure.

“Hey! So you like Weird Al?”

“Who?”

“Weird Al Yankovic. Never mind, never mind. How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Cool, I’m seventeen. So what’re you in for? I had my appendix out.” And his roommate was close to his age, so he had someone to hang out with! Jesper glanced at his APUSH book, then back to his fingers tugging at the blanket.

“Did it hurt?”

Jesper hadn’t initially said it was appendicitis. He hadn’t known. He thought he just felt miserable, but he didn’t want his parents to worry. By the time he couldn’t pretend anymore that he was okay…

“Nah. They knocked me out, anyway. I’m just bored.”

“Me, too.”

“Want to play Twenty Questions?”

“Sure. You pick something first.”

“Got it. It’s a person.”

The game continued for a while. It wasn’t Jesper’s favorite game in the world, but it kept him occupied—that and toying with the blanket—even as they got into an argument over whether or not “a field” counted as a thing. It totally did, a specific field would have been a place, but this was a kind of place, which was a thing. 

“No, a place is a place, you can’t just decide a place is a thing!”

“Yeah, if it were a specific place, but it’s not a place. It’s a category of places.”

“So a room would be a thing, but this room is a place?”

“Glad we agree.”

“That is ridiculous.”

Jesper laughed. He was about to retort that it wasn’t ridiculous, it was logical, when the door opened. 

“You look cheerful,” Aditi Hilli reported, coming to sit on the edge of his bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Just cold and my stitches are itchy.”

“Itchy means healing,” she said, smoothing a hand over his hair. 

“There you go, siding with medicine again!”

He knew she only had a minute. She wasn’t treating him, that would be a severe conflict of interest, but she had found time in her shift to stop in. So Jesper didn’t waste time groaning. He didn’t even put up a fuss when she hugged him.

“Are you dizzy or in any pain?”

“No.” It was a medical question, but he understood that it was a mom question, too. It was a how are you question with more detail.

“Have you—”

“Ma, I love you, but I am not talking to you about pooping.”

“Honestly, Jesper, I changed your diapers.”

“Ma!”

“After an appendectomy—”

Jesper grabbed the pillow and wrapped it around his head like massive earmuffs as he informed her, loudly, “Not listening! Not listening!”

She shook her head at him and checked his chart. Okay, fine, she knew she could get that information. He still didn’t want to have the actual conversation. Seriously, was nothing sacred?

She set down the chart. He set down the pillow.

“I’m glad you’re okay, little rabbit.”

Jesper slumped just slightly. It was easy to shrug off being sick, but he knew his parents had genuinely been scared. He should have told them earlier, but that was easy to say in hindsight. But he was already enough of a disaster. Telling them meant giving them one more thing to worry about, and he had expected to hurt for a while and recover on his own.

“I love you, too. I’m fine, I promise, just… bored. Do you have my tangle? Or my zippers?”

“No, but your father’s coming to see you after work. He wanted to stay but I knew you wouldn’t like him hovering.”

“Thanks for taking care of us.”

“I’ll ask him to look for your things. Do you know where they are?”

“Um… y’know… I think I have a couple bracelets in the bathroom, and my tangle might be in the back pocket of my jeans. I’m sick,” he reminded her, playing up his ‘sick face’ to avoid hearing about how he needed to clean his room. He knew that. He didn’t mean to leave it a mess, he just kind of… forgot. The mess was organic. 

“I’ll ask him.”

She kissed his forehead and left. There wasn’t a lot of down time in hospitals. Well… there was. But it all went to patients.

After a moment, Jesper said, “So… you heard that.”

Great. His anonymous roommate had heard his ma talking about his messy room. Among more embarrassing things.

“She seems nice,” his roommate said. “My mom’s a nurse, so I’m used to… you know, being asked about symptoms.”

“Great, I can’t wait to hear about whether or not you’ve pooped.”

“I’m not here for poop-related reasons.”

Jesper laughed.

***

It was much later when his roommate’s mom visited. Jesper’s da had been in and gone. Like Aditi, Colm was glad to see his son recovering. He had a more frank, less clinical way of saying how worried he had been. He brought Jesper a hat and socks for the cold, and two zipper bracelets and his infinity cube, so the nothingness of the room stopped grating on his nerves quite so badly. The feeling was difficult to describe—it was like having this emptiness building up against him so he couldn’t find a space to exist.

Jesper would always find something to fidget with, but knowing he had dedicated fidgets at hand softened an edge.

The roommates couldn’t see each other, but they could both see the door, so Jesper saw the woman with curly red hair come into the room and head over to his roommate.

“Hey, sweetpea.”

“Hi, Mom.”

That was… not his roommate’s voice. This voice was softer, higher, and a little nervous. Jesper couldn't help having his interest piqued by the shift. Sure, Jesper changed his tone with his parents, but he still sounded like Jesper. His roommate sounded like a stranger.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay. I… ———… we love you.”

Well, damn, his roommate was a girl! Jesper thought back over their conversation, searching for anything he might’ve said that he maybe shouldn’t’ve.

“I love you, too, Mom.” She sounded like it hurt to say.

“If this is about what your father said the other day, he… he needs you to be patient with him.”

“Okay.”

“He’s trying.”

Jesper was, by now, sitting very, very still. He knew this conversation wasn’t meant for him to hear, but in a small room, he couldn’t exactly not hear what was said a few feet away. So he tried to stay quiet and not make them feel self-conscious—and, if he was being completely honest, he was curious.

“Why do you excuse everything he does?”

“He’s not perfect, but he loves us. You’re still his little girl.”

“Okay.”

“———.”

“Could you just leave me alone, please?” said his roommate, in what Jesper could only describe as an amazingly rude way.

“———.”

“If you had to lose me or leave him, who would you pick?”

“That’s not fair.”

Jesper’s roommate said nothing.

“I’ll come back later. I hope you feel better then.”

Jesper settled back on the pillow and closed his eyes, doing his very best impression of sleeping. The door opened and closed, and they were alone. He stayed quiet for a moment, absently turning his infinity cube over and over in his hand. He had wanted to go back to talking with his roommate… but now he didn’t know what to say. That had been a heavy conversation to just ignore.

Then he realized his roommate was crying.

“Hey,” Jesper said. “———?”

She didn’t answer. 

“You okay?”

“That’s not my name.”

“Oh.” Jesper looked at the cube, clicking idly in his hand. He had no idea what was going on. “My name’s Jesper, but I guess you knew that since my ma visited. You want to play twenty questions? I got a good one. C’mon, you’ll never guess!” he wheedled.

After a moment, his roommate sniffled, then asked, “Person, place, or thing?”

***

“I feel wronged.”

Jesper snorted. Yeah, that was about the most accurate summary of their current situation. He still hadn’t seen his roommate, but they called to each other across the curtains. The entire situation looked brighter in the morning light. Jesper felt better. His body was rapidly putting the surgery behind him.

Even sunshine couldn’t fix the picture in front of him, though. Last night, his da had brought him food from home. No such luck today: Jesper sat up in bed, mournfully regarding the hospital’s breakfast tray.

He lifted the toast and gave it a shake. It wriggled.

“I think they steamed the toast,” he said.

His roommate laughed. “Think they toasted it first?”

Jesper set the toast aside. “You eating yours?”

“I can’t.”

“Me too. The apple looks okay.”

“Looks are deceiving things.”

Jesper bit into his apple and shuddered. He carefully removed the piece of fruit from his mouth, trying to pretend he hadn’t felt that mealy hellflesh. 

“Cereal and milk it is!” he announced. “I got Corn Flakes. You?”

“Rice Krispies.”

“This is blatant favoritism and I won’t stand for it!”

“You just had surgery, you’re not supposed to be standing at all.”

“Wow,” Jesper said, not at all appreciating that. It was true, but… wow.

He poured the mini box of corn flakes and carton of milk into his bowl. The breakfast tray was a depressing sight. There was steamed toast and an apple that was an insult to other apples. Still, at least he had juice to look forward to and the jello had been pretty good.

Halfway through his Corn Flakes, he asked, “So what are you in for, anyway? I had my appendix out.”

“I was sleepwalking—it’s dumb. I thought I was eating Skittles.”

“What were you really eating? Steamed toast?”

“Aspirin.”

“Oh, shit.”

“I was sleepwalking.”

“Yeah, totally,” Jesper said, trying to sound like he believed it. 

A while later, once the salvagable parts of breakfast had been endured, Jesper’s roommate appeared around the curtain, leaning on an IV stand. She was small, the sort of girl who looked like she would never be more than 5'. She had freckles and a curly red-gold ponytail, and if Jesper was being completely honest, she was cute.

“Want to play cards?” she asked.

“Um—I…”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s cool.”

“I have a gambling problem,” Jesper blurted out. “I can’t… it’s really… I have a problem. But if we keep it chill?”

“Sure. How about Go Fish? No one gambles over Go Fish.”

Gamblers would gamble over anything, but she sounded so sweet and optimistic, he didn’t want to ruin her bright outlook.

“Sounds good.”

She sat on the end of his bed and dealt. 

They made it a few rounds without chatting much, then she said, “I’ll tell you my name, but you can’t tell anybody.”

Jesper wanted to ask why she was trusting him, but instead said, “I won’t.”

She leaned nearer and whispered it. Jesper had suspected something like this. He appreciated having it confirmed. Now that he knew, he rearranged his thoughts about his roommate to use the correct pronouns.

“Wylan’s a cool name.”

Jesper’s roommate smiled at his cards, a smile that was determinedly interrupted with a scowl.

“Not as cool as Jesper,” he continued, “but still pretty cool. You want to play again?”

By that afternoon, they had both seen their mothers again. Wylan’s mom seemed to really love him, Jesper thought, even if she did use his deadname. The visit still left Wylan withdrawn, but Jesper talked his new friend into another round of Go Fish. It wasn’t such a fun game. It was about the company, though said company remained gloomy. He had a scowl like thunder.

“Here, I have an idea.” Jesper pulled off his beanie. “Do you want to…?”

Wylan took the hat, pulled it on, and tucked his hair up under it.

“I hate feeling it,” he said. “That’s probably stupid, but I hate it! It’s stupid. You have long hair and you don’t look like a girl!”

“You don’t look like a girl, either. And you don’t sound like a girl, I thought you were a guy until I heard your mom say your name. Which now I know isn’t your name,” Jesper added. 

The stormclouds began to disperse. 

“When I was a kid, I used to imitate cartoons.”

“Oh yeah? Can you still do it?”

Jesper didn’t have to hear the answer—which was just as well, because Wylan didn’t give him one.

“Do one for me! C’mon, just one.”

Wylan shifted, keeping his eyes on their forgotten game of Go Fish. Then he said, “Meep meep!”

“Pfft, Road Runner doesn’t count.”

“Road Runner’s a cartoon!” “You said one word and it was onomatopoeia!”

“Okay, yeah, but… okay. Okay.” Wylan took a deep breath, settled his shoulders, and stared at the sheets with a deepening blush as he said, “Duck season! Wabbit season! Duck season! Wabbit season! Wabbit season! I say it’s duck season, and I say, fire!”

Jesper laughed. “That’s really good!” he said. He wasn’t laughing at Wylan, but because the impression was so good, almost like different people when Bugs and Daffy spoke. Besides, the cartoon was a classic. Wylan must’ve known, because he smiled.

[kazbrkker]

Chapter 6: Distant Reminders

Chapter summary: Finally a glimpse of the day Farah, Hadir and Alexis met, told from both perspectives. Some fluff between Alexis and Alex. Slight confession (blink and you miss it.) [3870 words]

Warnings: pretty dark chapter – please be careful. Mentions of wounds, burns and blood. Implied mentions of sexual assault. 

27 October 2019, 0600 "Alexis" & "Alex" | Codename Aces CIA agents with Urzik militia Liberation Force Base, Urzikstan.

Truth be told, Urzikstan was starting to grow on the CIA agent. Used to working in much less hostile environments than this, Alexis figured it would take time before she could adapt. But between the constantly rowdy, yet lively compound and the unpolluted Urzikstan night sky that smiled down at her—it wasn't difficult for Urzikstan to imprint on her.

It was 6 on the clock when she awoke, a wired response. Judging from the unslept sleeping bag, Alex was still on lookout duty. Five minutes later, he entered the room.

"Wow, cute bed hair."

"Morning to you too." Alexis ignored his sarcasm, starting to roll her sleeping bag but halted at Alex's request—questionably saying hers was more comfortable. "They're the exact same," She deadpanned.

"Fine, I like your smell. Consider me obsessed." Alex lazily pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his towel. Her laughter was airy among the morning stillness.

"Dial the creepiness to a min, 'kay?"

They walked to the makeshift showers that Farah had shown them—grimy and borderline filthy but they couldn't be bothered, instead, grateful that showers were even a possibility. Alex stepped one foot in when Alexis opened her bathroom door, "Quick proposition, wanna save some water?"

Alex dramatically clasped a hand on his chest at her vexed jab.

"What? It's our part to save the Earth, isn't it?" His voice lowered to a whisper, as if he was sharing the best-kept secret. Their foreheads were practically touching, his breath fanning on her cheeks. Their height difference made Alex peer down at her, thumb boldly rubbing across her cheekbones. "I'm just offering, I take my responsibility very seriously."

"Mm. I bet. Just get your ass in the shower." Back against the bathroom door, Alexis chuckled at how ridiculous he was, but it was a normalcy she got used to. Even at 6 in the dead morning, there was already an irrepressible smirk on display. The warmth that radiated off his bare torso did nothing but intensified her need for a freezing shower. He didn't even budge under her shove.

"Ooh. Grumpypants."

Rolling her eyes, she briefly glanced at the muscular arms that encaged her, silently tracing the intricacy of his tattoo sleeves, "Can I leave now?"

"Sure, excuse me then." He gripped onto her hips as though squeezing through a narrowed pathway—except it wasn't, there was plenty of room. All he had to do was release her.

It was pointless to try and ignore the heat of his touch, her thin cotton t-shirt could only do so much.

Alex stepped away, chuckling knowingly. She almost felt cold. A flustered Alexis stood rooted for a few seconds before rapidly blinking, breaking the... whatever this was. "I hope the water doesn't run out when you have shampoo in your eyes!" She shook the feeling out of her system, harshly biting her lip to reprimand herself.

'Jesus. Drag your mind out of the gutter, will you?' Although the devil on her shoulder tempted her with an exhilarating idea. Alexis swung the door shut with a bang, hopefully, loud enough to scare those thoughts away.

She heard his muffled yells from outside. "Point taken, you're a devious thing, aren't you!"

After a much needed shower, she found her partner back in their room. His hands tucked behind his head, droopy eyelids signified his sleepiness but held open with resistance. She entertained his cheeky statements while drying her hair.

"You look great."

"Tuck me in?" His persistence eventually honeyed her. This half-asleep state was endearing, albeit laughable and unbelievable to anybody else.

"Night." She squatted down to face the now tucked-in Alex. He answered back, words blurred from exhaustion, clearly delirious since he audaciously asked for a goodnight kiss, but was met a splash of cold water. "Well, it's officially morning, but... semantics. Answer is no." Refusing to witness her smug face, within two minutes, the said man passed out.

An amused curve played on her lips, observing her friend. Once he was truly asleep, judging from his unfurrowed eyebrows and slightly parted lips, she kneeled to land a soft kiss on the crown of his head. Her movements trembled ever so slightly as her lips brushed against his forehead, diligent to not rouse the light-sleeper.

Otherwise, she'd never hear the end of it.

Alex had slipped into unconscious blissfulness by now, leaving her alone with her raging thoughts. Looking at him, she thought of a few words that she would never utter out loud, even if her life had been beaten to shy of an inch. She was no idiot, nor a teenage girl struggling to analyse her feelings.

Alexis had feelings for Alex, she resigned to it ever since her return from St. Petersburg. Staring death in the face can do that to somebody.

It was a fool's errand to think it would ever work out. A bigger mistake if she destroyed the most important person in her universe. It didn't help that they were in the middle of a war, and they always were.

Besides, love was overrated. But try telling that to her defying heart for not letting it go even after five unreciprocated years. Alexis quietly untied the curtains covering their partition of the compound, leaving more than one thing to rest.

It was a nightmare to work out in jeans, but to respect their culture, she obviously had no complaints. Alexis convened with Farah, Hadir and another group of militia fighters for their first training today. Today's lesson resolved around stealth—her speciality. She taught them everything to know about sneak attacks, efficient knifing and using unconventional weapons like a belt or a pen.

They were an easy bunch to teach, like a sponge readily soaking up whatever she had to give. Somehow standing here reminded her when she was an insignificant recruit back in Fort Benning, how time flew. "Being stealthy is more than sneaking around and keeping quiet. It conserves ammo and your energy. Tradecraft 101: if you can't identify the target, you are the target."

They wrapped around 9.15am, concluding the lesson by teaching them her neat trick, emptying her shoes to reveal razors pasted against her ankle. "Hide these in your socks. It will get you out, trust me." She drawled out the last part, unintentionally grinning at a funny memory.

Farah smiled, asking her fighters to head to breakfast. Hadir, with his stomach growling embarrassingly loud throughout the training, eagerly led the beeline to the kitchen. The commander spoke gratitude to her informative lesson again, before a small tap on Alexis' shoulders pulled her attention away. It belonged to a young woman, not older than 15, she guessed.

"I... want to learn more... Can you teach me?"

"Your English is flawless..." Alexis waited for her name, the young woman was fidgety, only met her gaze meekly upon asking.

"Alia."

"Beautiful name." A smile fell on both the commander and the agent's lips. "Well, nice to meet you, Alia. Maybe we can meet back here after breakfast?"

The young woman nodded eagerly, shoulders now loosened. There was a slight skip in her steps when she walked in the kitchen's direction, joining the rest.

The corpse of the young child she witnessed the yesterday unwillingly flashed before her eyes. If she shut her eyes, she'd bet she could still smell the unholy putrid decay of human flesh.

"Alen– Alexis?" The sound of her name dragged her out of her thoughts, the excitable yells and rowdy chatter from the kitchen now of tangible existence. Farah waited for her expectingly, "Lost you for a minute."

They walked away to the rooftops. "Oh. Sorry, just... I didn't see her when I was here the last time... She's so young."

"War waits for no one," Farah replied truthfully. "We found Alia in a sewage tunnel three years ago, she was the only one left in her family. We found her before the soldiers did..."

She didn't explain further; for they both knew the tragic outcome of a young girl living alone in this occupation. Farah continued on a solemn note, "Barkov does not inflict pain only from his bombs and massacre. He tears families apart, ruin our children's innocence. Barkov and his army do... unspeakable things..."

Farah didn't explicitly state it, but there was a shared understanding. It was terrifying to be a woman in Urzikstan. Or really, be a woman anywhere near this life...

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you the last time."

Fazed by the unexpected mention of old events, Farah replied a few seconds later. "It's okay. You came back."

"Still, five years is a long time when freedom is on the line."

"Alexis," Their gaze connected meaningfully, "I have waited all my life. Five years is nothing. Plus. you came with backup. You brought me victory."

The agent's nose scrunched in grimace, "Don't jinx it." The commander looked perplexed at her words, "It's bad luck to say you've already won before you actually did."

"You believe in luck?"

"I didn't, but after you saved me... Let's just say I'm a believer." Although there was nothing cheery in her tone. "Luck can go a long way, I'm living proof." The distant look in her eyes and made Farah caution around her next words.

Farah remembered the day she stumbled upon Alexis. Stumbled would be the right word, seeing she literally walked in a chamber with Alexis in it.

Same shit, different day. Only today Farah and her fighters received intel of a new mob that moved operations just outside the borders of Urzikstan. As if Barkov wasn't enough, they were terrorising and robbing farmers of their already piss-poor life.

They utilised the element of surprise, showing up in the dead middle of the night. Also dousing the enemy's compound in petrol was an easy and foolproof way to get the job done.

"Sister!" When Hadir yelled for her, she was terrified something had happened to her brother—who was still inside, drenching the house with more petrol. "There is a woman... Prisoner! She doesn't look like she's with them!"

"Bring her out!"

Hadir balanced a bloodied woman on his back, carrying her all the way back to their waiting trucks in the woods. Farah immediately demanded her male fighters to look away, covering the skimpily dressed woman with a canvas mat. Not that it mattered, really—the unknown woman's face was unrecognisable, bruises and blood littered all over her body, her natural skin colour a mystery to them.

"She's alive! Barely breathing, but still here." One of her fighters announced. At that, they floored back to their compound. Farah was the one to clean her up, horrified by the state she was in. The commander had seen her fair share of gore, but even she didn't want to imagine what the mob did to the woman. Under the cuts, wounds and burns Farah could see a peek of the woman's skin colour. After dabbing some water on her face, her American features came into view.

There was no patch on her, no dog tags to identify her. Soldier? No, spy, she concluded. The woman looked far too beautiful for a wise commander to send into an active, hostile battlefield like Urzikstan.

Farah shook her head dismissively. "You give me too much credit, Alexis. You were the one strong enough to live through all that."

"If it weren't for you, the mob would have killed me. Hopefully." The agent swung her legs freely over the rooftop's edge. Her solemness didn't bypass the commander. "I'm serious, Farah. If I wasn't so lucky to meet you, even though it was in a burning fire, I wouldn't be here..." Their sight fell upon a faintly wrinkled patch of skin that covered a part of Alexis' left shin. "You saved my life, Farah. Thank you."

Through blurry vision, it was hard to make the commander's face, but she roughly pictured the curve on her lips. She made no efforts to hide her tears, knowing Farah had seen her worse. Recalling St. Petersburg drained every ounce of life in her, a dark stain of her past that no matter what, she couldn't scrub away.

And believe her, she had scrubbed her skin raw trying to erase it. But it still lived, crawled under her skin.

After the annoying tear dropped, her vision cleared. Now facing Farah, who seemingly had the same sentimental expression on her face, the two women engulfed in a tight embrace. There was a kind of serenity residing in the knowledge that Farah still smelled the way Alexis remembered.

When Alexis, then Alena first woke, she was quick to hold a scalpel against the first person she saw. It didn't help that it was a man.

Digging relentlessly into the guy's neck, she ignored the electrifying pain all over her body yelling at her to stop.

"Stop! Stop!" A young female dashed into the room, frantic arms flailing about. Alexis recognised the authority that radiated off this woman, so she jerked her head at the exit.

"I cannot let you leave. Look at you, you need to recover."

Displeased, the scalpel pierced through the man's skin. Eyes averting in a frenzy, she tried to work the best escape plan in her jumbled mind. "I'll recover somewhere fucking else. Let me go."

"We are not the enemy here–"

"'Cause the bad guys are so honest?" Alexis spat, using the guy as her human shield to inch towards the entrance. Her antics were gaining a ton of spectators, lining alongside the exit with firearms. "Tell your men to back off. Now! Or I fucking shoot my way through."

Alexis dropped unconscious after that statement, apparently, someone had hit her with a dose of anaesthetic. She half-imagined she would be restrained, but surprisingly, not only was she not, but the same woman slept beside her bed defenceless too.

Maybe it was pure stupidity, or kindness.

"Hate to interrupt, but Laswell's calling." Alex's voice boomed from the rooftop's entrance, making her jump. Back-facing him, she hastily wiped her tears and at a confirming nod from Farah, she turned around—all traces of tears disappeared from her face.

Farah watched the brunette agent retreat, a sad yet proud smile resting on her face when she thought about how far they both had come.

"Everything okay?" Alex inquired warily, shutting the door behind him for complete privacy.

"Yeah, perfect. Why?"

"Nothing. Just looked intense, that's all. And you're usually not big on hugs."

An uncharming snort escaped from her. Leaning against a table, she said, "Maybe that's just when it comes to you. Enough, where's Laswell?"

Alex was about to probe further but an unceremonious ring of the satellite phone stopped him. He huffed, having half a feeling that Laswell was a genie or something borderline supernatural, summoned at the mere mention of her name.

"You got Saint and Echo 3-1 on the line."

"Sorry for the early call, but I got good news. The attic of the Al-Qatala townhouse was a gold mine. It looks like we found the Wolf."

"Good news indeed," Alex commented.

"Communications from the laptop were tracked to Ramaza Hospital in Urzikstan, where the Al-Qatala leader is believed to be holed-up. Farah's forces will track terror activity at the hospital while a Marine ground force will advance on the complex."

At that, they arched a questioning brow, "Why the extra heat? We already have Farah's forces."

"Not my call, Saint. Colonel Norris suggested it and the General agrees. We only have one shot at this, the plan needs to be flawless." She almost scoffed at the same old excuse, but couldn't really blame Laswell. "You two will link up with Sergeant Griggs, the main priority is to capture the Wolf. Saint, you will lead interrogation about the stolen gas. I want him alive, can I trust you?"

Alexis shrugged casually. "Of course, death would be too easy for the bastard... Excuse my language, Watcher."

"Agreed. But, I still want him to look presentable, got it?"

"Are we talking face? Or waist down?"

"Saint..."

The female agent received a defeated laughter from her partner, mouthing at her to stop it. Suddenly the minuscule guilt in him for executing Alexis' punishment for "insolence" disappeared. She had a true gift for pushing the limit, and then some. Consider it her cheap thrill—testing how far she could resist the CIA's chain of command. Alex sometimes wondered if Alexis was actively trying to court her death.

It was humorous watching her try though, knowing she was too precious of an asset to the CIA and JSOC to really punish. She'd only get a light slap on the wrist for trying—only irritating her further.

"Just kidding, Watcher. You can count on me."

━━━━

28 October 2019, 0530 Rammazan, Urzikstan.

Soldiers or agents, everyone had their pre-mission rituals. The familiarity of routines helped to comfort soldiers who fear they might not return from their voyages.

Every day might be their last.

For Task Force Black, it was a last-minute poker game until somebody won three streaks in a row—freeing themselves from carrying claymores for that mission. Usually, Commander Maddox would win, but observing their games for a prolonged period of time, something told Alexis her commander was playing cheat.

Their games, albeit entertaining, was not her thing. She liked her silence, enjoy the isolation before entering another war—she'd never know how long a mission was. Days, weeks, months.

Her incident changed her, after that, she could never really be alone anymore—feeling the urge to always be surrounded by people. So there she was, sitting on yet another rooftop that oversaw the hospital the Wolf was in, even though it wasn't her shift.

A waft of smoke filled her nostrils unpleasantly, immediately catching her attention. "I can feel you looking," Farah said from her right.

Busted.

"6 minutes." The agent subconsciously mumbled, earning a confused look from the commander.

"She means you're killing 6 minutes off your life." Alex continued after Farah's narrowed eyes, "She used to annoy me with this every time I pick up a stick. Mildly efficient. If you have iron willpower like me...Alexis can be very persuasive." He winced at the reminder of her 'detox' sessions, truly terrifying.

Alexis rolled her eyes.

Their conversation ceased when Farah's walkie-talkie announced Al-Qatala was firing in the hospital. "My soldiers confirm that the hospital is under siege. Al-Qatala is taking civilians as human shields. They're protecting someone."

"Or something."

Farah shrugged, "The more we find out... Hadir is my best sniper. You can rely on him and all my fighters."

"Well... This one is my best sniper. You can rely on her as long as she's well-fed— Ow! See my point?"

"Keep talking... I'll leave you to die."

Taking the opportunity when Hadir and Alexis engaged in small talk, seemingly part of their ruse, Farah successfully sneaked Alex her cigarette. He managed to pass it back before his partner swivelled back.

"Marines want their pound of flesh. They're leading the charge on this."

"I told you we would help you."

"And you're keeping your word."

"I don't do this to keep my word." Farah hesitated, "The invaders of my country have no regard for human life. The gas kills all things. Even food in our gardens. If you use these tactics, you are my enemy."

"No exceptions?"

"None. Al-Qatala has given my people a bad name, and we have paid dearly for their crimes. I want to see the Wolf punished."

The two CIA agents nodded coherently, "We'll make sure you're at the embassy for the handoff to Price."

"And you? Where will you two go when this is over?"

"Wherever they send me," Alex stared into the distance, casually nudging Alexis, "Hopefully this time to somewhere with a view."

Alexis chuckled, rolling up the hems of her jeans, "Urzikstan isn't so bad... you know. After we kill Barkov."

At their sighs, the commander finally understood. "You don't choose?"

"Ha. Not exactly." There was a price to pay to be the best out of the best, spoiler alert, it sucked.

They spilt, each taking different corners to defend until sunrise. Knowing his best friend couldn't be alone, Alex's fingers thoughtlessly slipped between hers and pulled her along.

Hadir called for the female agent, "Want to spot for me?"

Alex's grip tightened significantly. Her blood spiked from being put on the spot. "Um. I don't know... Hadir said he kept my fried rice—" Alex grumbled an insincere apology on her behalf before dragging her away. He hoped she couldn't hear the way his teeth grounded in irritation.

They settled on an isolated corner, away from eager ears. "Okay, I really wanted to eat that–"

"I'm a better eating partner. A better partner, overall, not that I'm trying to compete." He boasted with a wink, "But if I have to, I'll definitely win."

"Ah, the lovely smell of testosterone. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're tiptoeing on jealousy," Alexis mumbled sardonically, the scope on her sniper rifle clicking rhythmically.

"I'm not jealous."

At the realisation, a wry smile appeared on her lips, taking a break to harshly shove Alex's left shoulder. "My goodness, you are jealous! Don't worry, Hadir won't sweep me off my feet, pretty sure he has bigger things to worry about..." Alexis cleared her throat sarcastically, "Like a war?"

"You know me, I hate sharing. Especially my best friend." He shrugged dismissively after flicking her nose, only to be met with a pair of mocking eyes. "Can't you pretend to love me, just once? Come on, Lexi, say it. I'll cover your eyes." He whispered, the best friend part doused her with a bucket of cold water. Undeniably her heart lurched, though it was a simple joke, her stubborn heart had a mind of its own.

The rifle laid in her hands, forgotten. Under the rising sun, her voice was reduced to a whisper. Alexis swallowed a thick gulp, deciding to wave the white flag so she could calm her fiercely pounding heart.

"I don't have to pretend, Alex. You are my best friend. There's nobody else I can physically stand being in a room longer for five minutes."

For a cynical person like Alexis, this was basically a confession.

Alex arched a brow, still waiting.

"Fine. Love you."

Just as the Urzikstan sun finally pierced through the clouds, shining streaks of blood orange on their faces, it charmed a spell in Alex. The man couldn't help but be enamoured at this gorgeous sight.

"Yeah." He replied mindlessly, chewing down his lips while watching Alexis close an eye in concentration through her scope.

"Love you too."

‧͙⁺˚*･༓

alex, deadly c.i.a agent/prev delta force soldier: "tuck me innnnnn. 'kay gr8, now give me a goodnight kiss."

a/n: i gotta admit, i was so sleepy writing the first half i typed "fuck me in?" instead of "tuck" i mean... if u insist 😳

taglist: @flyboidameron​​

want to be tagged? just let me know!

[imagine-always-and-forever]

Being Klaus’s teenage daughter and having a boyfriend would include...

you had a secret boyfriend for two months because you couldn’t make up your mind if it was better to just tell him or to go completely covert with the whole relationship for your boyfriend’s sake of survival

in the end you had to tell him because his paranoia immediately clocked on to you being secretive and for everyone’s sanity it was better to just tell him

well he wasn’t exactly pleased about it but he didn’t immediately rush out the house to kill him so you counted that as a plus

he kept trying to meet him

you were pretty sure he had a CIA level of knowledge curated on him by the end of the week anyway

when they did meet, you had your father PROMISE not to hurt him or scare him off

it didn’t work because the second your boyfriend stepped into the house your father was eyeing him up for maximum pain infliction

a few days later your boyfriend admits he almost peed a little in fear

you find this hilarious but also super annoying as that was definitely your dad’s goal

at least he stuck around, which was a good sign. Better than you thought would happen.

your boyfriend started to swear that someone was following him

the first time your boyfriend kissed you after your father knew about your relationship you half expected him to burst through the door at first contact

your boyfriend started wondering if you were going to break up with him or if you were seeing someone else because you wouldn’t even let him touch your lower back let alone any OTHER places because you were paranoid that your father was secretly watching and the second ANYTHING more than a slight peck on the lips happened your boyfriend would be boy-dead

you were constantly asking Rebekah for advice because surely she dealt with a version of this. You could definitely see your father being the Protective Big Brother. 

Rebekah’s advice boiled down to: you’re fucked

one time you came home to find your father being physically restrained by Elijah and Kol while Rebekah and Freya argued with him and he swore to kill them all if they didn’t let him go immediately and it turned out he snooped through your room (which you’d argue about later) and found A SINGLE CONDOM in your bedside table. He was on his way to murder your boyfriend. 

Rebekah thought it was ridiculous. Thank god.

Kol found it hilarious and positive that you were using protection but also overdramatic. Fine.

Elijah was fine with killing him but thought he deserved a quick death because you did like him after all and your father would NOT allow him a quick death. Not that helpful.

all sexy times were to be had at his house (where your father was not invited in, not that that would really stop him from finding a way to kill him but still) with a locked door, locked windows, protection and privacy spells (thanks Freya), and an absolutely airtight assurance that your father is busy and accounted for during the entire time

even then the slightest sound from anywhere inside the house had you shoving him off you

Klaus had no idea why any of this was troublesome. If your boyfriend didn’t like it, he could piss off. And if you didn’t, you could just stop dating. Perfect plan.

[jeannereames]

Hello, Dr. Reames! I love your work (and am very excited to read your novels very soon!). I am thinking of doing a phd (not history or classics, but maybe sort of related to Alexander) but I'm scared that I'm not going to have the motivation to go through with the whole thing... Do you ever lose motivation and get discouraged when researching/writing and how do you deal with it? I know that this is completely unrelated to Alexander/ancient history so feel free to ignore it☺

Hi, there! This reply is going to be in 3 parts. First, about my own motivation…

I think everybody (even Alexander!) has periods of feeling discouraged. It’s part of being human. This is especially true when something you put days, weeks, or sometimes *years* of effort into doesn’t work out, or isn’t well-received, or comes back with “revise and resubmit.” Ha.

So, real life recent example:  About a year and a half ago, I finished an article that took me (literally) 5 years to research and write, because it combined research into two different areas, only one of which is my research area. It took a huge amount of reading, and I’d even presented it at a couple of conferences, where I received good feedback. It was supposed to be published in conference proceedings, but that fell through (not my part of it, the entire publication didn’t happen because the editor quit). So I had to shop it around to journals. It went out to three readers, and all three returned it with “Revise (substantially) and resubmit,” + large *additional* bibliography (mostly not in English) in the area not my field. Two of the readers thought my chief point was valid, but needed more support. (The third just flat disagreed with me, but it’s academia; that happens.) But that was after it had been presented 3xs already, and revised after each.

OTOH, I was pretty discouraged. But OTOH, the suggestions and reading lists were helpful. These are blind reviews, so it wasn’t personal. And the entire point of peer review is to help a book or article improve. Lord knows, nobody wants to put out something that will get you laughed at. But after all the time I’d already spent on it, it was still really discouraging as I’d thought it in pretty good shape.

Almost everybody in academia is going to have an article or three turned down, or a book refused, etc. And after a while, it can be really hard to keep trying. And it’s not just in academia.

Do you know how long it took me to sell Dancing with the Lion? 15 years! I got my first serious query from an agent in 1996. (The first words of the novel were written in December of 1988–that’s how old it is.) That agent eventually decided it wasn’t for her. I’ve had a couple others since…same thing. I’ve sent out probably around 500 queries to agents or publishers. In fact, I’d put the book AWAY and started a completely different trilogy (which I’m in the middle of now), because I figured it would only sell later.

Then I happened to read comments about Madeline Miller’s A Song for Achilles written by an English professor and new acquisitions editor at Riptide. She liked it, but there were a couple of things she really didn’t like. And they were the very ways (I thought) my novel was different. So I emailed her. She asked for sample chapters, then the whole thing, and finally, Riptide offered me a contract. They’re not a major press, they’re a Romance publisher primarily, but they were willing to take a chance on my coming-of-age historical, so I grabbed the opportunity. Now the book is out (well, the first half is), and it’s getting pretty decent reviews.

So persistence can pay off.

That said, if someone else had told me that story 10 years ago, I’d have snorted and said (in my mind), “Maybe it did for you. Maybe I’m just a bad writer and I’ll never succeed.” I’d also just been through a divorce and was having trouble selling my house in the housing bust, etc., etc. So a lot of things in my life were pear-shaped at the time, and that can make it really hard to keep trudging.

The “Dark Night of the Soul” is a real thing, and we all go through it.

The only way I get through it, myself, is to remember things in the past that went well, times I succeeded. Plus, I’m just a really stubborn SOB. Ha.

But discouragement is normal, and there will be points in everybody’s life where not just one or two things are going wrong, but it seems as if EVERYthing is going wrong and you’re just a total failure. You have to believe it’ll get better.

Now, part #2, about motivation to complete a degree. It’s a bit like the AA motto: one day at a time. Or really, one semester at a time. One hurdle at a time. When I first got to Penn State, the long, long road ahead made me freak out a little, but Gene Borza (my advisor) told me to take it in bites. And to remember that other people had made it through; I could, as well.

Also, don’t let yourself get thrown by “Imposter’s Syndrome.” This is the feeling that you don’t belong somewhere: in grad school, in a PhD program, in a department (or really, ANY arena). You’re not as good as the others. Minorities, women, and first-generation college students are those most likely to suffer imposter’s syndrome, but it can hit others too, such as the children of academics (I’ll never measure up to mom/dad), etc.

Last, part #3, and this may seem an odd coda to all the above rah-rah cheerleading. But as a (now former) graduate program chair, I would be terribly remiss if I didn’t put out a warning.

Not only is the field of humanities in trouble right now, in the US and Canada, and elsewhere, too, but the entire university system is changing. This latter is especially true in the US, but I hear rumblings from other places. Partly, this owes to the rise of online education. But even more, it’s what I call the “Wal-martization” of the university, where tenure-track lines are being replaced by a bunch of part-time instructors who have to teach 6 classes just to make enough to EAT. “Adjunct” professors, even those with PhDs, are paid a pittance. It’s absolutely immoral and ridiculous.

Universities are turning into profit more than education, with a degree seen as “job training” instead of learning to think critically and exploring Big Questions, which are increasingly viewed as a waste of time. Administration levels are increasingly bloated with deans, assistant deans, supervisory boards, etc. They’re (mostly) not teaching, but their paycheques are high. Tenured faculty positions are being eliminated. Colleges and unis realized that they could turn over a lot of (especially intro and survey) courses to part-time instructors for a *fraction* of what they paid tenured and tenure-track faculty, but still reap high tuition.

When I was finishing up in the ‘90s, I was teaching as an adjunct while writing my dissertation, then for a bit after, as was expected for “teaching experience” before being hired. The phenomenon of the “Visiting Assistant Professor” (or VAP) was *starting* to gain traction, but was still usually just a year or two until these people would find a tenure-track position (VAP is not tenure-track). But now, I know people who’ve been VAPping for YEARS. And some just give up. Also, adjuncting like what I was doing has gone from “teaching experience for a real job” into “the only lane for employment” for a lot of PhD (and some MA) graduates. Especially women PhDs get caught in that trap.

These are the realities of where we are right  now.

And THE MOST USELESS DEGREE ON THE PLANET is a PhD in the humanities. I say that as one who holds it. With a few exceptions, a humanities PhD prepares you for pretty much one job: being a professor. And those jobs are winking out of existence with frightening speed. This is a change that has accelerated over the last 10 years, and especially over the last 5. We’re turning out PhDs with no available positions. Museum studies, Classics, archaeology, philosophy are in even worse shape. SOME history PhDs are more popular. This year, H-Net has a bunch of Latin American positions open, for instance.

An MA in history (or related) is still useful. There are certain jobs that like them, ranging from state jobs like the Park Service to the FBI and CIA.

But a PhD? Think loooooong and hard before investing that time and money. This is not a matter of *you* not being able to do the work to get one. It’s a matter of the university system as we’ve known it crumbling away under our very feet. I have no idea what the American university will look like in 10 years. And once you have a PhD, it educates you out of most other jobs.

So that’s the unfortunate bad news. And I’d be a very irresponsible advisor if I didn’t tell you the truth. IME, people who really want a PhD will ignore me and go after it anyway. But at least you’ll go in with your eyes open.

[five-wow]

9.20 thoughts! this got very long, just as an fyi.

not even a minute in and some guys sold a teenage girl a gun. oh boy.

on the plus side: i remember which episode this is now! it’s the one with the gun that somehow has a connection to lots of five-0 members’ lives!

the banter between those two cops was really fun (and not as stilted as it sometimes is when a random Cop Or Security Duo shows up!) and then one of them got shot and something like that kind of HAD to happen but i’m still sad

OKAY so the first connection is that junior is friends with one of the guys who sold the gun and the guy shows up at HQ and i was like, oh no, but then he tells junior what he did!!! that’s so good!!! i’m weirdly proud of this very minor side character who did a very bad thing

DANNY. THERE’S DANNY. i technically knew he had to be in this episode somewhere because i’ve seen photographical evidence of it here on tumblr, but THERE HE IS. YAY. i mean, i love almost all of the main cast, but i think part of the reason why it took me a month to watch the previous episode was because danny wasn’t in it. it still just doesn’t feel right. it’s like there’s something missing. and here that something is!

junior and his buddy leave and steve and danny are alone in the office and steve said something case-related directly to danny and i’m weirdly excited about that, too!! my bars are literally so low.

BABY STEVE. baby steve is watching inspector gadget, oh my gosh, aw.

i love how doris is supposed to be there and she picks up the phone and tells mini steve to turn down the tv, but we never see any part of her except a hand and some hair because they didn’t hire the actress for this episode. so subtle.

i am... so conflicted about this scene. on the one hand, mini steve is super cute. on the other, we’re probably supposed to like young john here and think he’s a Good Dad but i just... kind of low key hate everything he does. he looks annoyed when doris tells him the call is for him, like she’s bugging him somehow after being the one who picked up the phone in the first place, and the whole “i have to go to work. take care of your mom while i’m gone, okay?” that he says to steve is so bad, omfg. steve is what, five? i know the “man of the house” thing is very common in media but it’s! so! stupid! doris is a grown woman and steve is a tiny little boy - doris has to (and can!) take care of steve, not the other way around, god. /rant

oh! we do get a full body shot of doris but it’s blurry doris! and she’s SUPER PREGNANT which makes the fact that john let her get up to answer the phone in the first place kind of bad too, actually, oh boy.

doris: “john, if something was wrong you’d tell me, right?” john: “i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t know. just lock the door behind me, i’ll try to call you as soon as i get this straightened out.” OMG WHAT. okay a) this is hilarious knowing as we do that doris was actually a highly trained cia agent/assassin and probably way more skilled than john and outranks him by far, fjdkfd, and b) i’ll give john a little credit for being somewhat honest and not just going with “no, everything’s totally fine, don’t worry”, but the answer he does give is almost worse because it’s so incredibly vague, holy shit. he says “i’m not gonna lie to you” and he doesn’t, but he also doesn’t tell doris who called or what they said or why he’s suddenly leaving for work in the middle of the night or why he thinks she needs to lock the door.

i’m only six minutes in at this point. i’m talking too much oh gosh

WAIT WAIT WAIT. john is offering himself up as a hostage, alone and unarmed and without backup, and THAT’s the “oh, i don’t know if there’s something wrong honey” situation he was leaving for? john. the fuck. now the “i’m not gonna lie” was definitely a lie after all.

the guy with the gun: “you’re such a good boy, john.” i respectfully disagree, my man.

the guy with the gun apparently killed his business partner and john arrested him (of course) and he and john have a talk about it where the guy is like “i shouldn’t have gone to prison!” and john is like “you got off lightly!” and it’s okay but. john is so smug about it and i hate that. he’s probably supposed to look bad ass and cool but i just. i just really dislike it. it’s this macho man thing and i’m not into it at all.

guy with gun, talking about his son: “you made sure he grew up without a father.” this, um, kind of made me laugh, because apparently that’s one of john’s specialties - for this guy’s kid by sending him (probably deservedly) to prison, sure, but later also his own kids by sending them away, fdjfkd. wow.

ooohhhh the gun guy said “steve, right?” and the frame kind of flipped to present day steve and that was very cool! i loved that.

2010 danny! and he’s talking to grace on the phone!!! already love it.

i also love that they gave him a baseball cap, presumably to hide the kind of obvious difference in hair that nine years brought.

danny kind of snubs the local food and it’s very 2010!him, but oh danny. it’s not the poor shop owner’s fault that your ex dragged you there against your will.

oh BOY. the shop gets robbed and the owner shot (which was expected, of course, when a main character wanders in there at night), and then danny asks the random woman shopping there to keep pressure on the owner’s wound until the ambulance gets there (which... he hasn’t called, and he also hasn’t told her to call for one, so that, uh, might take a long, long while) and then he takes the shop owner’s shotgun and RUNS AFTER THE SHOOTER. which is very heroic of him but also makes every single complaint he has in season 1 about steve’s daredevil approach to law enforcement VERY IRONIC.

oh, danny loses the guy and NOW he calls it in, fjdkfkd.

jerry is doing some smart tracking thing on the computer and it’s pretty regular h50 stuff but there’s an email adress on the screen that’s literally “gunlover[bunch of numbers]” and i’m screaming oh gosh

they already found the girl! but her dad is understandably not that jazzed about letting his daughter be investigated for murder. but good job on tracking her down so quickly!

2015 tani at a party!!! aww.

ohhh gosh koa is target shooting with the gun, which probably means he’s going to end up getting framed for something, oh no.

oh boy, tani has the same concerns so she confronts her boyfriend about it but she also knows her boyfriend’s in a gang and then the police comes knocking at his door about a murder, so that’s not going to end well.

ooh, 2015 tani was a police informant! and she’s talking to a pretty cool female detective and i appreciate that, even though you’d have to squint to count this scene as passing the bechdell test because almost every sentence references tani’s boyfriend, the boyfriend’s gang or tani’s brother.

steve and danny are interrogating a suspect together!! i might be completely wrong, but i feel like we haven’t seen that in a while.

suspect: “i don’t know if either of you guys are married, but even if it goes south, you can’t shut down some of those feelings, you know? like the ones that go right down into the core.” HMMM. INTERESTING. the camera is literally on danny’s face for a good portion of this, gosh.

they close their main case and i thought for a moment there was going to be some big twist because the episode isn’t near over yet, but instead they realize that this gun was used for a whole bunch of other crimes. it’s a “community gun”! i love that term, wow. how nice and cooperative of them all, sharing this one piece between them.

danny recognizes his case from the ones on the screen!!! and he tells the rest of them that he went to get a bite to eat on his first night in hawaii and that the store was robbed, and i’m kind of glad that at least the team seems to recognize that this is extraordinarily bad luck, ha.

also, steve barely reacts to danny’s story, so i’m taking that to mean that he definitely already knows it. which would make total sense! this seems like the kind of thing danny would rant about at some point during one of his “why i hate hawaii” tirades in season 1, but still, i like that. they know each other.

fjdkfjdk i LOVE how the whole team is standing there and piecing together the fact that they have connections to a ridiculous number of the crimes committed with this one gun, and jerry keeps commenting about how freaky it all is. this is so much fun, awww.

young john gets shot but of course he was wearing a vest, because he can’t die yet, because he needs to save that for a moment much later when he’s scarred his kids more and when he can die horribly on the phone with his son.

OKAY BUT “d. lukela”!!!! i’ve been watching the john bits very sceptically at this point but THIS I DID NOT SEE COMING and i ADORE IT.

john: “listen, duke, i’m not gonna lie to you man...” WHY do you keep saying that john, omfg. at least this time you’re telling the truth about not lying, i suppose. 50% not lying about not lying isn’t much, but it’s a start.

steve!! remembers!! that night!! and it’s because he was six and really scared because he knew something was wrong oh nooo

danny and tani talking in the car is super nice!!! and danny gets to drive the camaro for once which, wow, that’s pretty shocking

ahhhhh, the only thing this danny+car scene was missing was steve and then he CALLS. very good.

i just. listen. i just love danny. the way he keeps butting into the tense conversation between tani and this guy she used to know who she put in prison? it’s both hilarious and secretly very kind, because it’s making the moment so much more bearable for tani.

danny and tani find the guy from the convenience store robbery and he just turns around and puts his hands on his back to be cuffed when they ask him to! he doesn’t pull out a gun from somewhere or even try to run away! holy shit!

duke and steve are in california rounding off steve’s dad’s case and of course they get shot at before even knocking on the door and then the suspect runs for it, too. maybe it’s just steve. maybe their work would be a lot easier if steve’s presence didn’t magically make all the suspects shoot and run.

and the gun gets put away in a box in evidence storage, closing the case(s). aww. that’s a nice end.

okay, so, as much as i complain about john mcgarrett, i did really enjoy this episode very much! it was a really fun idea to have this gun travel around the island and use it to show little parts of characters’ backstories and i liked the execution of it too, plus the pacing was good and it had some funny moments and it had (very importantly) danny in it. and tani’s background!!! i think that was the one that surprised me most, because danny being a good cop with bad luck and steve having a not-so-great dad are a bit of a given at this point (though i still enjoyed seeing that, too!), but we knew precious little about tani’s life before five-0, and apparently there’s a huge story there. knowing what this episode showed us, i kind of want her to have a conversation with kamekona at some point - they both had a youth where they (almost) went the wrong direction, and they both got out of that in part for the sake of their brothers, and then they both ended up in the five-ohana somehow, which is probably not a place they ever saw themselves. i don’t know, i just love the idea of this unexpected friendship/understanding between two characters who don’t seem to have a lot in common at first glance.

also, more general comment: the funny thing is, until i watched this episode i hadn’t realized how much i missed this silly show and its silly characters over the past month. i totally did that not-watching-it thing to myself (not even intentionally, but still) and clearly it was more of a mistake than i realized because oh my god it felt good to see them all on my screen again, gosh. :D

[anavoliselenu]

jail chapter 6

Yeah, okay.

 The reporter from CNN, Mary Sue, as I referred to her, looked more nervous than anyone else in our backyard. We wanted the interview done at home but we kept the servants around to make sure that no wandered off. She was checking over everything, from lighting to her note cards one last time.

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 “Are you both ready?”

 Are you?

 “Do your worst,” Justin smiled, giving her a small wink. He was laying it on so thick that the girl seemed unable to speak.

 “Take that as an invitation to question him about this dirty secrets…including his addiction to Jell-O.” I smiled, trying to get her to relax. If she wasn’t calm, then this entire thing would go to shit, and I refused to be subjected to another round of a million and five fucking questions. We needed the public to love, if not worship, us.

 “I am not addicted to Jell-O.” He turned to me, looking confused as to why I would bring it up, though the smile on his face was real. He turned to Mary who grinned at us. “I am not addicted to Jell-O.”

 “It’s horrible. Poor Ethan has to hide some under his pillow.”

 “Ethan can’t hide anything. Plus, he only eats applesauce.”

 “That’s because there’s no Jell-O left.”

 “And we’re on in 3, 2…” the producer pointed to Mary as the camera moved in closer.

 “We’ll talk about this later,” Justin whispered to me.

 Rolling my eyes, I focused on Mary who had managed to remain calm and steady as she spoke while looking into the camera.

 “Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Today I will be sitting with Mr. and Mrs. Callahan for the first time since her disappearance and his arrest.” The camera focused on us and so did she as Justin took my hand into his. “Mr. and Mrs. Callahan, I just have to start off with ‘wow.’”

 “We know,” I said with a smile before glancing at Justin. “Believe me, we know.”

 “Mrs. Callahan, from what we have gathered so far, all of this started with you getting a simple text message?”

 “Yes.” The simplest lie worked the best. “I cannot speak too much on it due to the ongoing investigation, which is so odd for me to say. But what I can say is that I got a text message from a suspected terrorist organization that seemed to be corresponding with a colleague. Our numbers were only one digit off.”

 “I’m not sure if that is the luckiest or unluckiest thing I have ever heard,” she replied.

 Obviously she didn’t get out much.

 “The jury is still out on that,” Justin added…which was more than a little ironic.

 “And you, Mr. Callahan, knew of this?”

 He nodded. “Yes I did. At first I thought it was a joke and thought maybe we should ignore the cryptic yet frightening message, but since we are public figures, we called a friend in D.C. Before we could even understand the gravity of the situation, the world under our feet began to shift.”

 “So you knew your wife was alive and you still offered a hundred million dollars for her return after word that she had been kidnapped leaked?” she asked.

 I was starting to dislike her. She did her job well, but those are the ones we had to be weary of.

 “Actually, I didn’t know everything at the time,” Justin adjusted. “She had just given birth and I was still in awe. Before I knew it, my mother was telling me that Selena was not in her room and that no one could find her. The panic…the fear that crippled me in that moment is hard to explain. The hospital shut down, and I hadn’t even thought to look at my phone. I just acted…I needed her back, our son needed her. It was only afterwards that an agent came and informed me of the covert happenings. By that point, I couldn’t withdraw my statement.”

 She looked so immersed as she turned to me. “Mrs. Callahan, were you scared? Why did they move you so quickly?”

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 “In all honesty, I was coming down off of my epidural, I couldn’t even move myself. But I believe the CIA intercepted an attack on my life. It was only after I was placed in the safe house did the fear really start to set in,” I whispered, as I wiped the corner of my eye.

 In a flash Mary had a tissue ready to hand to me.

 Really?

 Taking it from her, I felt Justin grasp my other hand and kiss it.

 “I think what was worse,” I said softly, “was watching my husband get torn to pieces by the media night after night. Listening to people who knew nothing about him accuse him of all these horrid things, they painted him as a monster. Justin is just not capable of the things they accused him of.”

 He squeezed my hand and I knew he was struggling to hold in his laughter.

 “I must admit, Mrs. Callahan that I was part of that majority, and I know that no one feels as badly as we do. I apologize Mr. Callahan, but you do understand why we thought you were guilty.”

 “No,” he snapped.

 Oh, here we go...

 “I do not want people to think that we are okay. That this was just a horrid time in our lives and now everything is perfect again. Our lives were drastically uprooted. The media, you, have a responsibility, a duty, to find truth, not to entertain. I was, and am, pissed at you, the media, and the American people. I was found guilty, not because there was evidence, but because of who I am. I accepted your apology but I do not understand it. Give me longer than a week.”

 So we were playing good mafia boss, bad mafia boss now. I wanted to be the bad one.

 She looked startled and glanced at her producer before looking to her cards and then finally back at Justin.

 “Well, Mr. Callahan, what of the law and judicial systems? They were so sure—”

 “The Chicago PD has had a target locked on this family for years,” I hissed.

 I wanted to be the bad one.

 “Are you saying that the Chicago Police Department was willing to put an innocent man in prison just because they dislike his family? That seems unfathomable.”

 “More unbelievable than getting a text message from a suspected terrorist organization?” Justin asked calmly.

 “Okay, point taken. But why do you think that is?”

 I was my turn now. “Many reasons; crime is at an all-time high all across the state, while public trust is at an all-time low, and they wanted to prove themselves. What better way to do it than take aim at this family. But above that, it’s perfectly acceptable to be rich in this country, but not too rich. The officer who testified, Officer Scooter, came to me with pointed questions of this family's wealth. Then, after losing a bodyguard, he accused my husband of setting it up. Thankfully the truth came out before their cuffs did. This was the same officer who led the charges against Justin.”

 “The Chicago PD has a systematic problem with competence,” Justin added. “We were told that the Police Commissioner was called by someone in the state office to drop the charges against me, but he refused to because he thought I was paying them off. While I was in jail repeating over and over again that I did not kill my wife; knowing the truth but not able to say anything. I now wonder how many other people have been incarcerated for crimes that they did not commit. I saw firsthand how broken the system really is.”

 “Are you going to file a civil suit against the state?”

 I fought the urge to roll my eyes. “We are tired. The only reason we’re doing interviews is because we want all of this to be put to rest without additional speculation. Right now, we just want to focus on our family.”

“Plus, we don’t want to cripple the state. We just want justice,” Justin added.

 And justice we shall have.

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 “Thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview, Mr. and Mrs. Callahan. And for your work in aiding this country in foiling one of the biggest terrorist plots since 9/11. The world needs more people like you both.”

 We smiled and nodded…some people were such idiots, they deserved to be lied to.

 “And we’re off!” the producer called. “You all were brilliant, just brilliant, all we need is a few shots. This segment should air this evening.”

 “Please send a finished copy to our lawyers as well.”

 Justin added a ‘please,’ but there were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Regardless of what many believed, there was a limit to the freedom of the press.

 JUSTIN

 Handing Ethan to my mother, I brushed through the small wisps of his hair. It felt as if years had gone by while dealing with the press. I just wanted a strong brandy and even more time with him and Selena.

 “You both seem better,” my mother muttered with a frown while she bounced Ethan on her hip. The little bugger would not let go of my finger.

 “And you still seem angry,” I replied, glancing over at Selena as she spoke to—more like commanded—Monte.

 “She was gone for five months without a single word. Ethan—”

 “And you were gone for twelve years, mother,” I reminded her. “Twelve very long years. You were right down the hall, only seventy-six steps away from me, yes, I counted back then, yet we barely saw each other. Five months is a not even of grain of sand compared the beach you have collected. Ethan will not remember. I love you so much, Ma, but this is not the fight you want to have because believe me, you will lose and you will lose badly. And I don’t want to ever hurt you like that, so please just let it go.”

 Her eyes became wide as though I had just slapped her across the face. Her mouth dropped open, and she nodded with a sad smile on her lips.

 “I’m sorry,” she whispered, as she reached up to touch my cheek, “I know how much you suffered, and I couldn’t help you. But you’re right. You’re so right.”

 Kissing her forehead, I stepped back when I heard heels clicking behind me. Selena said nothing, only moving to Ethan so she could hold him.

 “Mommy has to go teach a few people a lesson, but I will be back,” she cooed. It was eerie how good she was with him, even when talking about potentially killing someone. “Evelyn, Olivia is getting more than attached, I trust that you can be civil enough to do as I ask and keep Ethan out of her reach?”

 “Of course. Don’t worry, the little guy has an entire day of painting with grandma ahead of him.” She smiled before giving Selena a small hug.

 Selena froze, glancing at me in confusion and annoyance.

 Was it odd that I found it comforting that she still disliked being touched with the exception of Ethan and I?

 “Thank you, Evelyn, now please release me.”

 “Is the death machine out yet?” I asked her, referring to our “drug car.” It was nothing special, just a beat-up, old, black Chevy on its last leg of life. However, there was no chance for anyone to use global positioning system to track our locations when we used it, nor could they point out the fact that we’d even left the house. All the phones signals would be jammed the moment we got to our destination.

 “Yes, we need to be going,” she said, but she didn't look ready to leave either. Nodding over to my mother I watched as she walked away.

 “What did you say to her?” Selena demanded as soon as she was out of sight.

 “About what?” I muttered, looking down at my phone.

 “An hour ago she looked at me as if I were the anti-Christ, and now she’s giving me hugs.”

 “Hot flashes? Hormones? All you women change your mind too often for me to keep track of,” I muttered, pretending to not feel her glare at me.

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 “I’m going to tell her about that hot flash comment,” she replied, as she walked towards the back door. Small forms of the press were still outside which meant that we had to go through the back.

 “Since when did you become a snitch?”

 “Around the same time I became a mother. One day Ethan will say something about me and I’ll want to know,” she said, as she opened the large mahogany door that led down to the marble steps and into the kitchen.

 The kitchen staff pretended that we weren’t there as they moved around to get lunch prepared for the rest of the family. “So you’re joining the sisterhood of meddling moms now?”

 “I drive.” She rolled her eyes, and oddly enough, Kain Fionn held the door open for us instead of Fedel. His face was still black and blue from her “lesson.”

 “Nope.” I held my hand out for the keys and without a second thought, Kain handed them to me.

 “Kain,” Selena sneered. “You’re new to our private detail and may very well end up back on the streets if you ever act without waiting for us to come to agreement. Are we understood?”

 Poor bastard.

 “Aye, ma’am.”

 “Follow behind us,” I told him before getting in and putting the car into gear. Neither Selena nor I spoke as we drove. But in the corner of my eye I watched her as she watched me. The old Chevy trembled and it felt as though we were an old couple on the way back to the farm.

 “What?” she asked.

 “Nothing.”

 Flipping the radio on, I fiddled with the dial until I found the opera station, satisfied that I’d found what I was looking for, I listened to a woman weep mournfully. Sadly my Italian was still not as good as I had hoped it would be. Selena listened for a mere moment before shaking her head and turning it off.

 “Excuse you?”

 “You were enjoying The Duke of Milan?”

 I didn’t even know it had a title. “Yes, it’s a classic,” I bluffed.

 “Yes, it is, but it’s not opera, it’s a play being sung horribly. Besides, I’d rather not listen to another dysfunctional family.”

 “We are not a dysfunctional family.” I mean every family had issues.

 “Your brother’s wife wants to raise our son. The only reason I haven’t killed her is because her father is the President and we don’t need any more bad press. Seeing as you just got out of jail, and I just came out of—”

 “I see your fucking point, jeez,” I muttered as I pulled in at a hotel that was no doubt at the pinnacle of opulence in the 1920s before it was abandoned. “But in our defense, it’s been an off year.”

 “And last year?” she asked grabbing hold of her guns before stepping out.

 “It’s been an off two years, but we’re making up for it now, aren’t we?” I replied, as I held the door open.

 The hotel looked like something out of Stephen King’s dreams. Almost all of the windows were boarded up, leaving only a limited amount of natural light. There were dull lights illuminating the space, and the base of the hotel seemed to glow in a soft, yellow and orange hue. The men at the door nodded to us, and placed their guns down as we walked up what used to be a grand marble double staircase. Now almost all of its tiles were missing, and rats littered the area.

Peeling back the plastic curtain, ten people—five women and five men—all stood naked as they cut up the white powder. Coke was on one side and was meth on the other. Everyone wore surgical masks to cover their faces…after all, we couldn’t have them getting high on the job.

 “Well isn’t this a surpr—” Sadly before he could even get finish his sentence, Selena shot him right in the kneecap, causing all of the idiots to scream and jump back.

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 “Surprise? Yes, I know,” Selena smiled.

 Sighing, I turned to our staff.

 I guess one us had to be the mature one.

 “If you would like to live, I suggest you get back to work. This part does not concern you, and please remember, we chose you all because we know you. We know where you work, where you live, how many goddamn times you take a piss,” I called out, as I waited for them to get under control. “Thank you all so much for your cooperation as we deal with a transition in personnel.”

 And on cue Selena shot him through the wrist.

 Damn she was good shot.

 “Roy. Roy. Roy. You stupid little man. I really thought you understood me the first time we met.” She sighed, walking closer to him as I looked over the product and pull out the prepared test tube from my jacket.

 “I didn’t do anything!”

 “Lying to a woman with gun? I thought you said he was smart, wife,” I called out to her, not bothering to turn around from what I was doing at the table in front of me.

 “See what you did? Now my husband thinks I can’t judge a person’s character—”

 “Okay! Okay! Okay! Please don’t shoot. My daughter got sick. I didn't have any choice, neither of you were around—”

 “So you’re saying it’s our fault you stole from us?”

 Oh he was surely an idiot.

 “It was only a couple hundred. Swear I will pay you back double…no triple. Anything you want…”

 Staring at the tube, I waited for the liquid to turn blue. That’s how we tested if was pure or not…It turn yellow instead. The weakest form. Someone had added shit to our fucking product goddamn it. The moron.

 I turned back, I held up the test tube, telling her to kill him with my eyes. I stared as she put her gun away shaking her head at me.

 What do you mean no?

 “Fine. We need to discuss certain things, and by the time we come back, you’d better have an explanation. A bloody good one,” she stated.

 Walking past the blood soaked floor, we stepped beyond the plastic curtains. She didn’t pause to explain, instead she kept walking until we reached another door.

 “My father used to say ‘an apology isn’t an apology until you get a gift,’” she said as she opened it for me.

 There sat our favorite police officer with two women; all of them were strapped down to their chairs, covered in their own urine, and coughing against the duct tape that covered their mouths.

 “Oh, you are too kind,” I whispered to her, as I resisted the urge to thank her more thoroughly.

 As she handed me my brass knuckles, all our favorite officer could do was stare at us helplessly.

 It was my turn to be a little immature.

 ELEVEN

 “If someone puts their hands on you, make sure they never put their hands on anybody else again.”

 —Malcolm X

 JUSTIN

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Pulling up a seat in front of my old friend Scoot, I leaned back before I turned to my darling wife who stood against the brick wall to my right. I noticed a red gallon tank of what I hoped was gasoline sitting beside her. She grinned and it was as though she could see into my mind.

 “I know who this fucker is,” I said, as I rested my foot on his hand, which was taped to his thigh. One of the greatest gifts given to man had to be duct tape. “But I am not acquainted with these lovely women.”

 “Meet Lacey, Scooter’s wife.” My own wife pointed to the woman on the left with dusty blonde hair. “And to the right is Shelby, Scooter’s prostitute. How he had so much time on his hands is beyond me.”

 “Which one do you think he loves more?” I asked as I tilted my head to the right to stare at the brunette. They both seemed simple enough to me.

 “I couldn’t figure it out,” Selena sighed dramatically, as she pushed off the wall and walked behind the blonde. The woman’s tears rolled past her taped mouth and dripped off her chin. “His wife has the house and he always comes home to her. She was his high school sweetheart. Right Scooter?”

 Selena pulled his head back roughly before letting go, and he didn’t struggle or speak. Instead he sat there with his head hanging so low that he tipped forward. Had it not been for the tape, he would’ve fallen to the floor.

 He was broken on the inside.

 If only he hadn’t pissed the hell out of me, that would’ve almost been enough. But it wasn’t. I wanted him broken on the inside and destroyed on the out.

 “Yet, he’s put up the prostitute in his old childhood apartment, she also has a stake in his will.”

 Scoot’s wife’s head snapped over to him as her eyes went wide.

 “So, it’s hard for me to say who’s number one, I thought I’d let you figure it out,” Selena whispered as she moved over to me.

 With a sigh, I look to them both. “What did King Solomon do when he wished to find who was the true mother of the baby?”

 “You want to cut them in half.” She gasped in mock horror. “So messy.”

 “You’re right, but the suspense is killing me.” I dropped the brass knuckles as I pulled a razor tooth knife from my boot. Cutting the tape from his mouth, I held the blade to his nose and said, “You’re going to tell me who you love more, or I will start cutting off their fingers.”

 He didn’t speak, he didn’t even look as though he were breathing.

 Sighing once more, I moved over to his mistress and ran the blade over her thumb. Her breathing became rapid and her tears fell faster.

 “You know what separates man from beast?” I asked her as she closed her eyes. “Our thumbs.”

 I slammed the blade down and started sawing off her thumb. She wailed so loudly that her body began to shake. Scooter watched the entire time, as tears fell from his face.

 “Who do you love more?” I asked him again, as I wiped the blood on his jeans and walked towards his wife.

 “I…I…”

 “Too slow.”

 Holding the hilt of the blade, I drove it into her ring finger. She screamed as loud as her reluctant competitor, but the truth of the matter was that those kinds of wails no longer fazed me. Grabbing her dismembered finger, I held it in front of his face and tilted it ring-side down, he watched as the ring he’d given her dropped to the ground and nestled itself into the pool of her blood.

 How poetic.

 “Eighteen fingers left between them both. I’ve got nothing but time, and this is a very sharp blade, Scooter. Just pick one. I promise I won’t kill her.”

 He swallowed and his head turned to his wife, then to me, and then back to his wife again. It seemed that he’d lost the ability to speak.

 With a sigh, I moved to another one of Lacey’s fingers. “I’m so sorry, Lacey.”

 Moving to her thumb, I paused, and looked at Scooter who only stared back at me. This time I didn’t look away from his eyes as I once more pressed the knife into her other thumb. She screamed over and over again.

I didn’t even ask before turning to Shelby.

 “St—Stop. Please stop,” he finally said, as he looked to his mistress. “I love her. I love her.”

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 “Your mistress?” I asked calmly.

 “Yes!” he cried.

 Before I could blink, a bullet struck his mistress between her eyes. Turning to Selena, I watched as she placed her gun down.

 “Well that was a plot twist,” I said to her.

 “I hate home wreckers.” She shrugged as she glanced at Scoot’s wife who sat in shock. “You’re welcome,” she added.

 “AH!” Scooter screamed as he fought against the chair. “You no good fucking liar! Damn you to hell! You sick fucking bastards!”

 “Wow, he really loved her,” I said, wishing that I’d tortured her more.

 “He’s disgusting,” Selena muttered. “I don’t have to tell you what will happen if you ever think—”

 “I know,” I snickered, as I dropped the knife to ground.

 I pulled out my own gun and shot his wife in the heart, finishing the heartbreak that he had caused. That woke him up and he began to fight against his restraints, trying in vain to reach her as she bled out beside him. Her blood gushed out, sending a hot spray of it into his face. Fortunately for me, I remained a safe enough distance away to avoid any splash back, and I simply watched as she died.

 “You know, I always saw this ending,” I told him calmly as he wept. Picking up my brass knuckles, I pulled my fist back before I slammed it into his face.

 “In fact, I warned you,” I sighed when I heard the sickening pop of his nose.

 “You came after my family.” The brass of my knuckles connected with his teeth and he coughed as they undoubtedly lodged themselves into his throat.

 I held his blood-soaked face, looking to see if there were any bones that I hadn’t yet broken…there was.

 “You had me sent to jail,” I sighed again, as I wiped his blood off my hands and onto his shirt. Pulling back once more, I struck and felt his jaw crack from the sheer force of my blow. “But it’s alright, because I’m over it…now.” Looking him over as though he was a fine painting, Selena walked forward before she poured gasoline over the bodies.

 He coughed up a few teeth as he choked for breath.

 “Any last words, Officer?” I asked him.

 All he could do was struggle to breathe.

 “I guess not. Funny since you had so much to say on the stand.” It didn’t matter, he was done. He was just the first of many who had to pay the price.

 I exited the room because I hated the smell of gasoline. Neither Selena nor I said anything as we walked back to visit Roy and the idiots who were still cutting useless product. Monte, Fedel, and now Kain, stood at the exits with their guns clearly visible.

 “It seems as though our business is done here,” I stated as I walked back towards the exit that led down to the grand staircase.

 “I swear on my life, Callahan, I will repay everything,” Roy called out, as he used the arm of a naked woman to stand.

 It was clear that he had indulged in a little too much of our product in the time we were gone.

 “Oh no,” Selena smirked, as she pointed between the two of us. “We are done here. You…well you’re just done.”

 “Kill them and burn this place to the ground.” I commanded. And before they could blink or even run, Monte, Fedel and Kain emptied their clips into them, making sure to double tap the heads.

 SELENA

 We sat at a beautiful diner, about a mile out from the old hotel and we watched as it burned. The fire department had been called, but they apparently thought it best to allow the building to burn out safely. No one else was in the diner but us, however, it wasn’t supposed to be open for another hour anyway.

 “Do you think we’re pyromaniacs?” I snickered, as I gazed at the rising smoke that tainted the sky in varying shades of grey.

 “Not at all. The fires we set have purposes,” he replied as he cut into the sausage links before him.

 “True,” I said, as I reached for my phone. I wanted to check up on Ethan.

 “No phones.” Justin glanced at the device in my hands.

 “You’re funny.” I chuckled as I signed in and saw that Ethan was sitting with Sedric and Evelyn, the latter was reading something between them…I fought the urge to smile, and as I glanced up, I noticed that Justin was peeking over my shoulder to see them.

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 “Yeah, no phones,” I mocked. “I see what you’re doing, Callahan.”

 “And what is it that I’m doing?” he asked from behind his coffee cup.

 I waved my hand over the spread of toast, waffles, sausage and eggs in front us, and his eyebrow raised as my grin spread across his face.

 “Oh come on, this is you trying to get me on a date.”

 “No. This is brunch. I was hungry.” To prove his point, he grabbed a slice of French toast and took a bite.

 “Callahan—”

 “When I take you on a date, Selena, there will be dancing, the best wine in the country, and food that is ridiculously overpriced,” he replied.

 “I don’t understand your obsession with romance. It’s like you’re a love child of War and Peace,” I muttered before I bit into my apple.

 “What do you have against romance?”

 “Nothing. It’s fine when it's not being directed at me. I’m understanding of love, but this need to buy flowers, and chocolates—”

 “You do know love and romance are synonymous, right?”

 “No, they’re not—”

 “And you are aware that what you did for me today was romantic, right?”

 I swallow slowly, unsure of how to reply, and he knew that he’d bested me. Leaning back, he pensively crossed his arms.

 “Why did you do it?”

 “I don’t know, I thought you needed it or at least wanted…” I muttered as I reached for my tea. I didn’t like where this was going.

 “And it made you happy to do it?”

 Oh God, must he drag this out? “Yes, fine. I was happy that you were happy. Can you just say what you mean now?”

 “You, as my wife, anticipated my needs without having to ask or be asked. I, as your husband, wish to do the same.”

 “But I have no need for restaurant wine, I have my own. Nor do I care for dancing, and if you want overpriced steak, then I’ll let the cook know.”

 He rolled his eyes at me. “How do you know what you like if you’ve never done it before?”

 His smugness was slowly killing me.

 “Because I know myself.”

 “I know you too, and you’ve already agreed so we’re going on a date and you’re going to enjoy it without being a bitch.”

 “Now you’re trying to change my personality, Callahan? So controlling. I think this is an early sign of an abusive relationship.”

 “You can bring your sarcasm and wit, I find it entertaining.”

 Oh how he annoyed me.

 “Can we talk business now?”

 “Of course. It’s not like this is a date or anything,” he winked.

 “It isn’t. Now how would you like to handle all those who testified you against you? And I meant that as a completely unromantic and platonic question.”

I watched as his eyes glistened. “I do wish to handle them. But sadly I can’t deal with them in the same manner we handled Scooter,” he said seriously.

 He was right. If all the people who testified against him suddenly went missing or turned up dead, suspicion would surely follow…it would’ve sent a clear message though.

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 “Oh what a shame.” I sighed. “Because here comes Dr. Lewis now.” I pointed to the woman with short blonde hair. On her arm was an attractive looking man…who possessed the same hair and eye color as Justin. He kept her distracted by making out with her and grabbing onto her ass. He covered her eyes with a laugh as he led her into a back booth.

 “Did you know she would be here? You picked the diner?” Justin grinned at me.

 “Who me? Really now Justin, I can’t control everything.”

 He looked as though he didn’t believe me. However, when the mystery man stood up to join her, so did I.

 “I’ll be right back.”

 “Selena…”

 I raised my hand and placed it over my heart. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

 “Fine. But you sure as hell don't get the warden too,” he muttered, as he rose and followed me.

 “What do you think she values more than her life?” I asked Justin as we walked through the maze of white tables and chairs that led to the bathroom in the back.

 “Her career,” he grinned, as he listened to the sounds that seemed to echo in the empty space.

 “Exactly.”

 We silently entered the bathroom and watched as she sucked on his small, naked mole rat dick while her breasts hung out of her tight blue dress. The sight made me want to bleach my eyes; it was like a bad amateur porno.

 “Hello, Doc,” Justin snickered.

 Her eyes went wide as she pulled away. “Oh my God!” she screamed, and as her eyes began to water, she looked up at us as though we were some ghosts of mafia past.

 “Oh my God already?” I sneered in disgust as I sat on the white and yellow couch in the bathroom.

 “What the fuck are you doing here?!” she yelled as she tried her best to stuff her breasts back into her bra. “Daniel! You told me you were closed!”

 “I’m going to take a wild guess and say he lied,” Justin said, unable to keep the grin off his face as he leaned back against the wall.

 “Daniel,” I said to him and he nodded as he walked out and left her in fear.

 “Daniel? Daniel!”

 “You just have the worst luck with men, don’t you?” I said to her.

 “Wait,” Dr. Lewis whispered her brain slowly catching on. “He’s been working for you this whole time? No. I can’t be. We’ve been dating for—”

 “Two and a half months, I know. While Justin was in jail, and right after you gave your first testimony to the police. Just so you know, he was paid handsomely for your time together. He didn’t have a penny to his name…but then again, you didn't know that. You thought he was a rich doctor who happened to own a few restaurants on the side. Wouldn’t that have been amazing? Shame,” I laughed. It was pathetic how easy it was to predict some people’s actions.

 She was shaking badly and we could tell that she was going into shock as reality crept in.

 “Wow, you must have truly believed that you were falling in love,” Justin gasped mockingly. “This must be embarrassing.”

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“What do you want?” She spat, not realizing how kind we were truly being.

 “You know all those rumors you spread about me? About my family? How we take out anyone who crosses us. How we control this city to the point where you could run into the police department right now and still not be safe? What if I told you they were true, Doc? What if I told you half of the people you treat were sent to you by us?” Justin replied stalking up to her.

 “You’re lying,” she stuttered. “You're the Callahans—you feed the inner city kids and…”

 “And cut off fingers and bash in heads…which makes me wonder what will happen to you,” Justin finished for her.

 “Please—”

 “Oh no, we are well past begging.” He walked closer to her and stared into her scared mouse-like face that was now streaked with tears. “Now you’re going to go to the media and you’re going to tell them that you were forced to testify against me. Are we clear?”

 “I…”

 He took her by the neck forcing her to stand on the tiptoes. “Don't be stupid here. I wanted to crack your skull open. But it’s been a busy morning for us. So take this gift and know that if you ever speak about us other than what we tell you to do, your sweet boyfriend knows all about you by now, and believe me, Daniel won’t be so gentle with you this time around.”

 He said nothing else to her before he turned towards the door. However, before we left I glanced at her and tilted my head to the side as I took in her shaking frame.

 “Have a nice day, Dr. Lewis. Daniel will stick around for a while just in case you have any doubts.”

 We walked towards the cars and I noticed that both Monte and Fedel were drinking coffees and eating muffins whilst Kain stood there glaring at them. I smiled; Monte and Fedel didn’t take kindly to new people.

 Justin opened the door on the passenger side of the truck for me and I entered without argument. However, I moved across until I was in the driver’s seat.

 “I’m driving,” I said.

 “Only because you were so good,” he mocked before he slid in beside me and handed me the keys.

 “All that’s left is Dr. Alden and the prosecutor. I’m sure we can think of something. They won’t be too much trouble. And we still have Avian to deal with,” I whispered, as I pulled out onto the road.

 I wanted Avian dead. I didn’t want him to suffer, and I didn’t want some fancy, elaborate plan. I just wanted his head separated from his neck. The end.

 “The mess our ‘scandal’ has created must be keeping him busy. But I doubt that will last any longer than another week,” Justin said, as he clenched his jaw and leaned back into the truck’s seat. “You’d think he would just stop.”

 “Would we?” I wouldn't. “Before this was just business, but now we’ve fought back. We’ve embarrassed him and taken out his daughter, all while looking as clean as ever. He’s Italian. Questo è l'orgoglio.”

 “Pride? Well that’s comforting,” he said as understanding dawned. “I don’t want to be taken by surprise from that motherfucker ever again. We’ve been two steps behind up until now.”

 “Yes, and I’m positive that we have at least one more rat in the house.” I had no clue who it was, but I would peel the skin from their flesh with salt filled nails the moment I found out.

 He sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course we do. I’ll have Declan go through the phone logs—”

 “I did it while I was away. I couldn’t find anything suspicious, but I know there’s still a mole. I think it’s someone as close to us as Adriana was. If my mother could get to her, then I can only imagine who Avian could get to.” Thinking about Adriana only pissed me off.

 He tensed as he looked at me. “On three, we say who we think it is.”

[davidcarner]

Reassigned Ch 7, You, Me, and Baby Makes Three

A/N: Warning: Author takes no responsibilities for feels, diabetes, or anything else that happens to you from reading this fic, specifically this chapter. Okay, I think the legalities are taken care of. Are you ready? I don't think you are…but we're gonna chance it…warning this one is a little more saucy than most I do…Somebody make sure after Charakids reads this diabetes hasn't set in….You really aren't ready, but let's do it…I give you Reassigned, Ch. 7, You, Me, and Baby Makes Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, but he's good with that.

The tac team had secured the dock and the two stood there, surveying the container. They thought it was a bomb, and Carina wondered how apropos it was she might die on a dock with Casey. He shrugged, took out a cigar, lit it, and puffed it. Casey was going out like Casey, all he was missing was Johnny Walker Black. It had been a little less than two weeks since she had run into Sarah at Stanford, that was weird, and she had been meaning to call to see how things were going with her and the nerd. Her last thoughts were of Sarah Walker. The clock hit zero and they were both still there. They hadn't blown up, they were alive, and there was some big….thing that was in front of them. They turned, looked at each other, and Carina grabbed him and kissed him.

"What the hell was that for?" he asked.

"For not making things weird and kissing me if we were about to die," Carina said as she walked away to call it in.

"Huh," he grunted and shrugged. "Wonder what's in the container?"

-ooooo-

"Have I done something wrong?" Chuck asked. Sarah looked at him and shook her head. It was week 14 and Dr. Alcott had wanted to do the ultrasound as soon as possible, given the scare Sarah had. Chuck had been very busy since Stanford, and had just given his two week notice at the Buy More. Sarah had secured him a contract with the CIA, Chuck had four other small companies he was working with, and he was stunned at how in demand he was. So in demand, there had been very little waking time for Sarah. Of course, she, having decided the baby demanded cuddle time, had gone to his room at night if he didn't stay with her.

"I just haven't seen you much and I'm a little lonely," she said. "And, I never got lonely."

"We've kinda been over this," Chuck replied, grinning. The look she gave him, made the grin fall from his face. "Right, you're being deadly serious right now." She nodded. "Well in two weeks I will be my own boss, of course I have to find a place to work."

"What about my apartment?" she asked, shyly.

"Sarah, I couldn't take that spare room, it's the baby's room," Chuck said.

"I mean where you have me set up, there's room for another computer, and it wouldn't take much," she said. "Plus I would be nearby." He reached over and took her hand.

"I guess it would work for a while," Chuck said. "Once the baby's born, I don't know what I will do though."

"Why?" she asked.

"You're gonna need rest, and privacy, and….are you gonna breast feed?" he asked. She turned to him with a raised eyebrow. "If you are, we need to get you a privacy blanket and a rocking chair." She shook her head at him, reached out, and poked his arm. "What is that for?"

"Sometimes I wonder if you're really for real," she said, smiling. Dr. Alcott walked in.

"Okay, kids, lets see if we can find out what we're having," Dr. Alcott said. She had Sarah lift her shirt to expose her abdomen. "This is gonna be cold," she said as she put the gel on her stomach. Sarah slipped her hand into Chuck's. Debbie chuckled to herself watching the two. She adjusted the monitor where they could all see, and in just a second there was the picture she was looking for. Sarah gasped, and so did Chuck. Debbie noticed the two held hands even tighter. She shook her head, and double checked the machine, giving them some time. She had set it up to make a DVD but she also printed off two pictures.

"Chuck, she's beautiful," Sarah said. She wished deep down this child this child was Chuck's.

"She sure is, Sarah," Chuck replied, squeezing her hand.

"Now how did you two know your baby is a girl?" Dr. Alcott asked. Tears streamed down Sarah's face.

"We're gonna have a girl, Chuck," she said, leaning against him. Chuck couldn't answer. He switched hands he was holding hers with, and wrapped his other arm around her, cradling her. All his mind could do was play over and over that she had said we.

-ooooo-

About forty-five minutes later, the two found themselves at Lou's having dinner. They both were looking at their own picture of ultrasound, Sarah had insisted Chuck take one for himself. They were both thinking, one was thinking of the future, the other was trying to figure out where he fit into the future. Chuck started to speak, when the owner let out a curse that made him blush.

"I'm so sorry," she said. She was really short and a brunette. Chuck missed all the warning signs across the table from him. "My phone has messed up, and my recipes are on here."

"Mind if I take a look?" he asked, trying to help. Sarah wanted to murder him and hug him all at the same time.

"I was gonna take it to the Buy More," she said, drawn to the tall nerd, not realizing certain doom that was across the table from him. Sarah set her teeth and made herself not growl.

"That's where I work and they would have me take a look at it," he said, grinning. "Since I'm off today, it would be tomorrow before I would get to it." She handed it to him, nervously. He looked at it. "Ah, this brand has a screw," he pulled out a small screwdriver he carried with him at all times, gave it a few twists, "there, fixed it." She hugged him, and Chuck looked very surprised. She pulled away, saw Sarah, and her eyes got wide.

"I am so sorry, I apologize, I didn't mean to be so forward," she said, turning to Sarah. "Is this your first child together?"

"Oh, it's not mine," Chuck said. Sarah looked at him, was he trying to get a date, and right in front of her? "I mean Sarah and I are, we are, er, uhm."

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?" Sarah said, her left eye twitching. Chuck realized what he had done, and quickly tried to fix it.

"Yes, erm, we are dating exclusively," he began, but realized that was confusing. "Now that is," he added, then realized how that sounded. "Obviously, previously she wasn't, nor I, God just kill me," he said sinking his head into his hands.

"You know what, your sandwiches are on the house," Lou said, fleeing from the table. Sarah just stared at Chuck and he wondered if you could die of embarrassment.

-ooooo-

"They're opening up the container now, sir," one of the techs said to Casey.

"Any idea what's in there?" Carina asked John. Casey shook his head. "It looks medicalish." Casey nodded and watched the lid come off. They both stood there silent.

"Is that?" Carina began after a minute or so.

"It can't be, I shot him," Casey said.

"He appears to be much better," Carina replied.

"Heh," Casey laughed. "That nerd's gonna pop his cork."

"Oh, no, Blondie," Carina said as they looked down at Bryce Larkin, who clearly wasn't dead.

-ooooo-

Sarah pulled up into the complex, and watched Chuck get out of the car. He had gone deathly silent since he had stuck his foot, leg, and possibly his other leg in his mouth at Lou's. She didn't know what was going on, but she couldn't take it one minute longer.

"Chuck, what the hell was that?" she asked. Chuck stopped and turned to her. He couldn't look at her, the embarrassment was too great.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked.

"Desperately," she said.

"You are ready for the absolute truth, no matter how it makes you feel?" he asked. She nodded, tears in her eyes, assuming the worst, preparing for a life alone.

"This is so hard," Chuck said. "This is the hardest thing I've ever done. You're having a baby, and I'm not sure what I'm doing. You're having Bryce Larkin's baby, and I don't know what to do about it."

"So you're breaking up with me?" she asked, near tears. Chuck stared at her.

"Do you want me to break up with you?" he asked.

"If I'm making you miserable, yes, I ….I care too much about you to want to make you miserable," she said.

"Sarah, the person making me miserable is me," Chuck said. "You've been nothing but supportive, you've changed my life. You've made me a better person, and I can never thank you enough, but the truth is, that's another guy's child." She started to speak and he held his hands up so he could finish. "I wish WE were having a baby, I wish it more than life itself, but we're not, and I'm jealous, I'm so damn jealous, and I want to be that baby's father and I want to be in your life every single day and I do not know what to do about it, so there, there's the truth, I'm jealous and trying not to be and when people ask me things, I get tongue tied and feel like an idiot." She stared at him, processing what he was saying. He wanted what she wanted and he was miserable because he couldn't have it. She wanted a real life, and here it was right in front of her. A part of her started to yell run, this was a trap, no guy was this good. The rest of her, pushed that all away and said go, go to him right now. She summoned everything in her, took three steps to him, and kissed him.

Time seemed to have stopped. Chuck realized he had never been kissed before, because if he had, then calling those instances a kiss was insulting to this. She moved against him, and he almost pushed her away because he was afraid of hurting the baby, and she then he forgot what he was doing because she pulled him closer to her, if that was possible, and rolled her hips against him, nearly making him moan. After a bit, she pulled away.

"I love you," she said. "I have never told a man that in my life, and I need you to know that. I have loved you for so long, and I didn't know what to do about it. I wish to God this was your child and not Bryce's but Chuck, if you want to be in my life, and my baby's life, and you want to be this child's father, then you are. I couldn't ask for a better person than you."

"I love you," he said. "I just didn't want to overwhelm you."

"Chuck, I need you to listen to me very carefully, you overwhelming me with love is always the best thing," she said, grinning. He started to pull away, and she tightened her grip and shook her head. "Chuck, I need you."

"I'm here, Sarah," he said. She looked into his eyes and he swallowed seeing something in them, and the tips of his ears turned red. "When you say need?"

"Chuck, if you don't make love to me, and there's not a darn good excuse as to why not, I'm going to go get Ellie and have her talk to you," Sarah said, as serious as she could be.

"Please don't," he said, knowing she wasn't joking, and never, EVER wanting Ellie to have that talk with him. She grabbed his hand and dragged him into her apartment.

"I always thought this would be a little more tender," he said. She spun and saw the laughter in his eyes. She shut her door, and pushed him against it. She studied him a minute. She took in every bit of Chuck Bartwoski and slowly pressed herself against him, pinning him to the door. Chuck swallowed thickly, but didn't say a word. It was clear he was going to let her take the lead in this, and that was fine by her. She put her hand on his chest, and looked into those brown orbs. She saw exactly what she hoped, love, adoration, and the future. For once, it didn't scare her, it excited her. She was going to have a future with him, and her baby. The grin on her face was saucy as it could be and she didn't care. She didn't care what he saw because she was going to share her entire life with this man, starting right now. Her hand slowly traveled up his chest and around his neck. His eyes fluttered from the touch, and that made her smile. She curved it around the back of his neck, and rubbed her thumb gently right behind his ear. He whispered her name and she found she really liked it when he said her name like that. She gently pulled him down and kissed his bottom lip first, and then the top. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. There was wonder there, love, and a whole lot of lust, and she was happy to see all of it. She moved back in for the kill. She kissed him, gently probed her tongue into his mouth and exploded it. The sound he made, made electricity shoot all through her body. Just for good measure, she wrapped a leg around him and he moaned. She pulled away, just an inch from his face, smiling up at him.

"Tender enough for you?" she asked wickedly.

"You know how you sometimes dream something would happen?" he asked, very breathlessly.

"You've been dreaming about me like this, Chuck?" she asked, with an eyebrow raised. He looked at her, and he looked very nervous. "Good, I was afraid it was just me dreaming about you," she said with a smirk on her face. "I think you should know those dreams, I wasn't very ladylike. I hope you can forgive me," she said almost shyly. He looked at her, shocked. "You were saying." He found his voice, but it squeaked a little.

"First, you are welcome to any of those dreams you want of me, ladylike or as unladylike as you want them to be." The grin on her face really made him want to know what happened in that dream, but he wasn't about to ask. He blinked, trying to get his mind working again. "You know how the dream never really lives up to the reality?" he asked. She nodded. "So far the dream wasn't even close."

"We're barely getting started," Sarah said, and started kissing up his neck toward his ear, his eyes nearly rolled up into his head. "Was this in the dream?" He tried to shake his head. "Did you do anything to me in the dream?" Chuck was only human. Months of being so close to her every night, her declaration of love, and now she was dreaming about him. So when she asked what he did to her in the dream, he couldn't stop himself. She yelped as she found herself lifted, spun and pinned against the door, her legs wrapped around him, him kissing her neck, her grinding her pelvis against him.

"OH GOD!" he yelled as he pulled back.

"It's okay," she said, and he looked at her, and she had a look on her face, a mixture of slight disappointment and concern. He thought for a second, and it dawned on him.

"The baby," he said, staring at her. Understanding hit her, and she nodded.

"Perfectly fine, perfectly fine," she said, starting to giggle. "I'm sorry, I thought," she began, and he attacked the spot on her neck. "Bedroom," she choked out. Chuck shook his head, and began to carry her to the bedroom. "Chuck, sit me down before we hurt ourselves." He did, and she began to walk to her bedroom, perhaps swaying her hips a bit to get his attention, not that she needed to, she had all of his attention. He followed her, to the room that they had been in together many times, to the bed they had been in many times, but tonight, tonight was going to be very different. He grabbed her hand and she turned to him.

"I love you, Sarah Walker," he said, swallowing. "Whatever does or doesn't happen here tonight, I want you in my life, and I want in yours, that's what I want."

"Chuck, you are my life," she said. "You are in it as much as you want to be, and I want you there all the time." She paused, and smirked. "And, this," she said pointing between the two of them. "This is happening."

"But the baby," he began. She laid her fingers on his lips, and pulled off her shirt, quickly.

"Does this disgust you?" she asked, looking at her stomach and then to him. He shook his head, and started to reach for her, but paused. She nodded her head, and he gently laid his hands on her belly, and slowly rubbed them. Sarah really didn't want to talk, but they had to have this conversation. "Chuck, anyone can get someone pregnant, it takes someone special to be a father."

"Sarah, I love you, and I'm falling in love with your child, and I can't bear to see her grow up without someone in her life," Chuck said.

"You're scared to say it," she said. He didn't say anything. "A father." He nodded. "As far as I'm concerned she's got one." Chuck kissed her, backing her toward the bed, she sat, and pulled him down to the bed, on top of her. He hesitated, she could see the worry in his eyes.

"Am I-" he began.

"Seriously, shut up," she said, grinning. He leaned in, kissed her neck, and she felt his hands slide down her side, electricity shooting through her. She threw off her jeans, and she felt his fingers play at the waist band of her underwear, and then slip under. "Dream's got nothing on the real thing," she mumbled, and then feelings she didn't know if she had ever really had before coursed through her. "Not a damn thing."

-ooooo-

Three hours later, Chuck was woken to a voice and a thud. He looked up to see a knife sticking out of the doorframe and Carina in the doorway. He realized he had no clothes on, but at least a sheet was covering him. He wasn't sure how, unless Sarah had covered him. He realized he was sore everywhere, but a good sore, and a dopey grin was covering his face. He shook himself from his thoughts and looked up to see Carina's mouth was open in shock.

"Carina, there better be a damn good reason you just stormed in here," Sarah growled.

"Bryce is alive," she said softly. Sarah dropped her head.

"That's a damn good reason," Chuck said.

-ooooo-

"He is refusing to talk to anyone but Chuck," Carina said. Chuck and Sarah were sitting in the living room. Chuck was sitting there silent, Sarah wanting to know what was going through his head, but refusing to say anything in front of Carina. "Beckman is asking he come in and help," she said, nodding toward Chuck.

"I'm not agreeing to this," Sarah began. "But he only goes if I'm there."

"I told her that would be a condition and she's good with it," Carina said. "So?"

"Don't look at me, I have my conditions, but the choice is ultimately his," Sarah said. Chuck looked at her and gave her a sad smile. What was going through his head?

"Sarah, the CIA may make you make him," Carina said. Sarah shrugged.

"And, I'll quit," she replied. "I will not force Chuck to make one decision, do you understand me? You can go tell the CIA, NSA, DEA, and the POTUS that I will not do one-"

"Sarah, baby ears," Chuck said quickly.

"Fraking thing that he doesn't want to do. This is my life now! That other life, is over. Do you hear me? OVER!" Chuck pulled her into a hug, and she clung against him. "Do what you want, Chuck, I will back you up, either way." Chuck looked at Carina and she nodded, got up, and went outside to give them some time. Sarah looked at him.

"I don't know what you're thinking, not about talking to Bryce, but about the whole situation, but I want to know," she said. Chuck nodded, wiped his hands on his pants, stood, and looked at her. She stood up and took his hands. "Talk to me." He swallowed.

"I love you," he said. "That's why I have to do this, because I can never forgive myself if I don't," he said, nearly in a whisper. "Sarah, I'm going to step out of the way, so you and Bryce can do what you need to do about the baby. I need you to be happy, even it that includes me not being in your life." She stared at him. This idiot. This adorable, stupid, sexy, smart, nerdy, idiot was going to step back. And it wasn't that he didn't love her, it wasn't because he wouldn't fight for her, because he had already done that. He was letting her make the choice of having a family. She appreciated the stupid gesture, but it was time he quit this nonsense.

"It is going to be hard having both of you around, and I suspect things will be tough," Sarah began. Chuck nodded. She still had his hands. She tugged on them gently until he looked her in the eye. "But we're all adults, Bryce will understand." He swallowed, and nodded. "I mean we'll work out some visitation so everyone is a part of the process." Tears were in his eyes. "And here's the thing, IF YOU EVER SAY SOMETHING THAT STUPID AGAIN, YOU ARE GOING TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOR A WEEK!" Chuck stared at her, trying to process what she was saying. "You idiot! I love you! LOVE YOU! I may be pregnant by him, but I feel NOTHING for him. Do you understand? NOTHING! You are my future, my home, my life! YOU! You are going to be this child's father, do you get it? WE will figure out a way so Bryce gets rights and gets to be in his daughter's life, but WE are going to be a family, if I have to pound it into your head! Do you understand?" Chuck swallowed.

"I do have one question," he said. Sarah rolled her eyes, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Last dumb question of the day?" she asked. Chuck grimaced.

"It's awful early, the only way I can guarantee that is not speaking the rest of the day," he said. Sarah stood there a second, thinking. "Sarah."

"Shh, I'm thinking," she said, grinning. "You may have lost today's speaking privileges for being so stupid." He gave her his pout, and she groaned. "I used to be an amazing CIA agent that could withstand any torture. It's a good thing the enemy didn't have you, Bartowski. Go ahead," she said reluctantly.

"How are we both going to fit on the couch for a week, I'm tall, and well, not to be indelicate, but you are growing a human in you," he said. She shook her head, and walked away so he wouldn't see the smile. "Where are you going?"

"To get ready to go see the baby daddy," she said. "I know you, Chuck. You're going to want to see him."

"I love you," he said. She stopped, and turned back toward him. "I want this.

"Good, because I do to, and Agent Walker doesn't fail," she said, winking. She turned back toward the bedroom. "Also we have to go couch shopping to find a much bigger couch." Chuck grinned. She said we again. He was really liking we.

A/N: So I promised everything this chapter, and I fibbed, but it wasn't intentional. I actually plotted this whole chapter out I figured no problem. Where we stopped is between 1/3 and ½ of what I plotted. I didn't want to write a monstrosity that I have no idea how long it would take, especially given that some of you are chomping at the bit, so I broke it up….Next time (I hope unless that takes a lot longer than I think) EVERYTHING ELSE HAPPENS!… Til next time…hope you enjoyed it! Reviews and PMs are always welcomed!

DC

[dallasareaopinion]

Really bad country song lyrics and more story

Okay here are some lyrics in case someone wants to do something with it. I will be glad to share (however everything I write is still my own Copyright 2017 and previous) so you want to collaborate with me….yeah,,, these probably won’t fly, but here goes

 Trying to pay my bills and

Wishing the wife was happy

 The truck needs a new radiator

And the kids need braces

 I wake up every day and there

Is not enough coffee

 Going to work to find the site

is closed due to its raining

 Another day wasted and It is

Still four more days till Friday.

 Okay these suck, but the Cowboys aren’t playing this week and it was a long work week and the rest of the month doesn’t look any better and the better half just bought a new dress to go to a wedding I can’t go with her because I will be…….wait for it……..working

  Jill was scared.

She loved her job at the NSA. She had peculiar personality quirks which made her very good at what she did. She watched people. In her head she created many stories on all the people she tracked. She was good. If the government needed someone tracked she could follow anyone through the maze of trails people left. A person would have to be off the grid for years for her not to pick up a scent so to speak. Even if a person switched from using cards and online reservations to cash only for a while she could still keep track of someone.  She paid attention to their habits and everyone except for the most skilled professionals left a trail.  If needed, she would pull up past behavior to tie down what they might do.  Her ability to think like another person was extraordinaire. This made her a perfect fit for her job. And her superiors learned to trust her not knowing if it was her intuition or some other claire voyant talent she had. Whatever she had, she was good.

Jill had been tracking a low level Russian operative for the last few weeks. She had many people she watched. Jill kept a long list of people, some were people she was required to track for a short time, others were people that had encountered someone she tracked, others came up because of an event, there were many. She had an extensive file of people. Her superiors knew she had some kind of database, yet never knew the extent of it. In her files, she did have one on Sandra’s friend Greg. She knew there was something going on with him. She also knew about the affair with Sandra. She kept much to herself. A person never knew when some bit of knowledge may be handy.

 She also knew about Paul and Paul’s superiors, one reason her superiors didn’t know how large her database was, she knew about the men that were found in the SUV; she knew much. It wasn’t the amount of people she knew that scared her, it was the amount of people’s passes that crossed because of the shooting of Congressman Greg. She also liked him and was very mad at his wife.

 Warning bells had gone off in her head when she realized the Russian operative was headed towards Greg’s home district. This was not part of his usual routine. He arrived about a week before Greg and had been stationed there under the pretense of doing sales work in towns within a 3-4 hour drive. He had been relatively quiet, just playing his role. At first, she didn’t connect him to Greg until after Greg arrived he would seem to head into Greg’s district for unknown matters and then show up back in his sales territory.

 Jill knew much, she did not know everything. Her Russian operative was a Russian operative and also what might be called a double agent, yet even this wasn’t a true description. His family was of Persian descent. His Father was a Russian operative in Iran for many years after the fall of the Shah. The Soviet Union was so large they had encompassed many people who were employed by them, yet never loyal to them. And this was the same for Russia now. He had basically taken over the role of his Father. Little did the Soviet Union and now Russia not know was they helped the Russians because the wanted to see the US out of Iran. Unfortunately, they did not want the Revolutionary Council and the Ayatollah to be the victors. The Father was smart, he knew it was coming, he couldn’t stop it. So, he laid low, worked the back channels to eventually bring Russia into conversations with the new government and kept up the ambitions of a small group of Iranians that want to bring Persia back to prominence.

 The operative had worked himself into a low-level assignment into the United States. This had been planned for quite some time. His mission was to contact certain Americans, who were not enamored with the United States relationship with Saudi Arabia. He could not do this as a Russian, so he created a pretense to follow certain members of Congress under the guise these members of Congress were out to create a wedge in Russian Iranian affairs. He convinced his superiors he needed to gather information to bring back to the Iranians which would benefit the relationship between Russia and Iran. The world runs on ruses and he was trying to effect one for Persia. He was very much linked to the old men in the villages near Tehran and the government officials in Tehran that had been in contact with certain elements of the CIA.

 Unfortunately, he was dealing with failure right now. He had failed to contact Greg before he was shot. He had tried. For the few days Greg had been home, he had tried to make contact, yet was unable to create a casual bump into scenario where he could pretend he was pitching his business where really, he would be updating Greg on his plans. There just weren’t too many independent people in the United States with an open mind. His CIA contact in Iran had suggested Greg to him, hoping they could at least stall some votes coming up that would strengthen the US-Saud military arrangements and arms sales.

 Jill knew he was near Greg’s district. Little did she know, he was about fifty feet and catching up to Greg on the trail when Greg was shot. The Russian operative, had seen Greg go into the woods to go hunting. He, unfortunately wasn’t prepared to chase after him without being seen so he had to detour then try and catch up. He was close, but not close enough. He witnessed Greg go down from the shots. He immediately left the area, yet in his hurry he did not cover his tracks.

 And his tracks were part of the reason why the FBI investigation into Greg’s shooting confused everyone. It was obvious Greg was shot from a distance, yet there were signs of a third party that may or may not have been involved. This baffled them. Well, everything baffled them right now, but the more they investigated the more questions they had.

 And so, Jill almost two weeks past the shooting finally tells her superiors she discovered a Russian operative had been in the area. She kept most of what she knew to a minimum. She pretended like this was a new discovery and they may want to pursue. Her superiors trusted her information that this was new and immediately some of them contacted Paul’s superiors and told them about this operative.

 Jill knew they would since she kept track of everyone in her office. Many years ago, she did this just because this is who she is as a person. She liked keeping track. Over the years, this had kept her out of much trouble and with everything else was part of her treasure trove of data no one knew.

 She blew the cover on this operative, not to uncover him. She knew where he was and had a good idea where he was headed. She wanted to see what would happen once he was introduced into the situation.  Her revelation went to all the groups including the shooting investigators.

 She could tell this was a bombshell by all the chatter it created amongst much of the intelligence community and FBI. All had their own agenda it affected. She watched and waited. She worried over Greg and she too, wanted to know exactly who shot him. And all involved had no idea she was watching. Sooner or later she thought maybe she should meet Greg and show him all she knew. He might know what was going on.

 If it isn’t one thing, it is another mumbled Paul’s superiors. Yesterday they were told about the SUV they were informed would never be a problem. Today they are told there was a Russian operative, no one knew exactly how high up or his role was discovered to be in the vicinity of Greg’s shooting.

 The FBI team investigating Greg’s shooting was informed. It was imperative they try and find out who this person is and somehow ask around town about this person without raising any suspicion. The FBI itself, plus Paul’s superiors were going to let them do the work and once they reported act accordingly.

 Sheriff Daniel was hoping he could match up what was on the grainy video from the first night he encountered the people in the SUV at the hospital with pictures of the SUV being pulled up from the lake. His friend at the FBI had agreed to share copies once he received them, which for some reason he didn’t understand were hard to come by. Someone was sitting tight on what was found in that lake.

 Greg kept calling Sandra which kept her tense, aggravated, angry, and guilty. She just wanted her Greg to survive, never tell him about the other Greg and go back to being his wife, even if it meant being a Congressman’s wife. Near death encounters always seem to prioritize life for people.  Greg was under pressure to get in touch with Sandra, have a meeting and find out what the local sheriff and FBI group were learning in their investigation. They wanted all angles covered and hopefully to be first to learn anything they might need to know.

 And while this investigation was going on, and as pursued by Paul’s superiors the President was fast tracking legislation to increase arms sales to Saudi Arabia along with stronger military assurances of protecting the flow of oil out of Saudi Arabia. The House approved it with a one vote majority. So, did the Senate and was signed the next day by the President.

 Iran viewed this as an attack on their sovereignty and said they would take appropriate measures for their defense. The Russians quietly assured Iran they would be there to help.

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Chapter 11

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers)  

Rating: M

Words: 1.9K

Warnings: Child birth, language, tooth aching fluff

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one  thing you need someone else for… A baby. You can plantonically start a     family, right?

AN: Two updates in a row! (Unedited) Now the taglist is officially closed now that we only have the Epilogue left. Thank you to everyone who took this journey with me, let me know what you think! much love, Cia

Chapter 11: A PowerPoint, really?

Morgan called outside the door for more nurses as soon as he heard what you said. Soon 3 women are rushing into the room, one of them clad with a wheelchair. You look at Morgan as they begin to load you in the chair. 

“Derek, call Garcia and tell her to come with my emergency birth bag, then call Dr. Lizzie and tell her the baby is coming-AHHHHH!” You screamed as you were being wheeled out. Contractions, as they turn out, are the worst feeling ever. 

Garcia is barging into your hospital room not long after that baby bag in tow. You kept an extra one at her place just in case you went into labor when the team was out on a case. “I drove just about 90 mph to get here. How are you feeling, mama bear?” 

“Like Satan himself is putting me on a spit roast.” You grunt through clenched teeth. 

“Think of the bright side you’re about to give birth to the cutest, most intelligent baby.” Garcia says. “Plus Dr. Liz told me I need to keep you calm so let’s do your breathing exercises.” Garcia starts huffing in syncopated time in order to get you to follow. You scream in her face. “Ok, so maybe not.” 

“Who’s ready to have a baby?” Dr. Liz says, in a joyous tone as she sweeps into the room. “Let’s take a look at you.” 

“Thank god! Lizzie, I need epidural. Shoot me up, Doc.” You groan from the pain. 

“So someone is a little more eager to meet the world than we thought. It’s too late to safely administer epidural. You’re going to have to go natural, kid.” 

You look at her wide eyed. “WHAT?!” You shake your head. “I-I can’t.” 

“You can, Y/N.” Penelope says. “You can squeeze me as hard as you can.” 

Tears start to fall from your eyes from the combination of pain and loneliness you felt. “I can’t do this, I need-I need Spencer.” 

You hear the door opening. Spencer walked in pushing an IV still attached to his arm, other one draped around Derek’s shoulder as he helped him walk in. Once Spencer was next to you and leaned against the wall, Derek and Penelope stepped back to give you and Spencer privacy in your moment. 

“Alright, you’re crowning. It’s time to push so next time you have a contraction, I need you to push as hard as you can.” Dr. Liz says, you nod. Spencer is pushing some of your sweat matted hair out of your forehead. 

“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be in bed.” 

“I told you I’d be here for you, for this.” He says, grabbing your hand letting you squeeze around his palm. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Spencer, I--AHHHHH!” You say, pushing. Your hand tightly squeezes around Spencer’s who despite how rough you must look right now is looking at you with the utmost awe and admiration. Dr. Liz gives you some words of encouragement as you breathe waiting for the next contraction. 

“You don’t have to say it, I know, Y/N. I know.” He says, hand running through your hair. 

“No, I need to say it. Spencer, I’m so in love with you. I love you so much, I’m sorry I kept hurting you but I need you. I love you--AHHHH!! I take it back, I hate you! I fucking hate you for doing this to me!” 

Spencer kisses the hand you’re squeezing. “I love you too, Y/N/N. And I know you don’t mean that. It’s actually fairly common for all mammals giving birth to feel disdain towards their partne--” 

“SHUT UP!” You yell as you push. “I usually love your facts but right now, shut the fuck up!”  

“You’re doing great, mom. Just one more.” You hear Dr. Liz shout over your screams. 

They don’t tell you this in any book, Doctor’s appointment, or  mommy and me class but for a moment even though it is a fleeting moment. There is a stillness in the air where everything is silent and you are only snapped out of it at the sound of your baby’s first cry. Everything else from the cheers to Spencer cutting the cord is drowned by the sound of your baby loudly entering the word. 

Your baby. 

They place her on your bare chest and your arms instinctively wrap around your most precious being. You coo as the baby continues to cry the fluid out of her lungs. She’s covered in blood and goop but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Suddenly the thing you’ve wanted for so long was finally here and she was everything and more than what you thought, the perfect manifestation of you and Spencer’s love for each other. 

Genevieve Rosalind Reid was born early November 10th. Given the name Genevieve after the song, Lady Genevieve, you and Spencer loved so much and Rosalind after famous female scientist Rosalind Franklin. 

Not more than a couple of hours after the rest of the team is slinking into the room to get a peak at the baby, bearing gifts and congratulations to you both. Spencer managed to negotiate with the doctor to at least have a bed moved into your room so if they were going to make him lay and rest at least he could be near you and the baby. Soon, one by one the team starts leaving the last being Penelope who Derek had to haul away with him. You turn to Spencer once they’re gone. 

“I love you, Spencer. I’m sorry I didn’t say it. I was scared.” 

“I know, Y/N. I love you, why were you scared?” 

“I didn’t want to lose you with my selfishness. Genevieve needs you more than I do, I didn’t want to sacrifice her having both parents because I couldn’t control myself.” 

He reaches across the aisle between your beds for your hand which you stretch to him as well. “I’m not going anywhere.” He says looking you in your eyes. “I would never abandon either of you. I love you, but no matter what happens between us, we’ll make it work. For Genevieve.” 

“For Genevieve.” You repeat back.  

------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been about 9 months since you had Genevieve and you and Spencer we’re still going strong. Though the first couple of months were difficult with Spencer being injured and having an actual newborn to care for. You were still better than before, Spencer made things better. Genevieve was perfect and looking more and more like Spencer with each passing day. In fact, it seemed the only trait she did take from you was a wild stubbornness and love for Disney movies. 

You were out walking Genevieve in her stroller when you got a call. 

“Hey Spence. What’s up?” 

“Hey, where are you?” You hear over the line. 

“I’m walking with Gen in the park.” You say. 

“Do you want to meet at the coffee shop on the corner?” 

You shrug even though he can’t see it. “Sure, get me a cold brew.”  

You push the stroller into the coffee shop ten minutes later and walk over to the corner table you and Spencer have deemed yours. Your daughter is already fussy and making grabby hands for Spencer, who smiles and scoops her out the stoller. 

“Hey, Bug.” He says, sweetly as your daughter smiles brightly at him.

“God, she’s such a traitor. Instantly forgets I exist as soon as she sees you.” You say, as he hands her back so you can put in the high chair for lunch. You’re opening her banana and pears baby food when you notice it. “Why do you have my laptop?” You ask. 

“Well, open it.” 

You give Spencer a weird look before handing him the food to feed Genevieve so you can open the laptop. Your heart stops for a second as you read what’s on the screen. 

“A PowerPoint, really?” You chuckle. “Spencer, what is this?” 

“This is Reasons Why You Should Marry Me.” He says, looking up to look you in the eyes. 

“Yea, I got that from the title, Spence.” You chuckle, wetly. “And you thought a PowerPoint was the best way to ask?” 

“Well, I felt you’d be more inclined to consider it if you knew I spent time on a presentation.” 

“That’s true.” You say, chuckling at the memory of your first friendly encounter. You take the food back from him. “Well, show me what you got.” 

“Okay, Reason #1, You love me.” You laugh, nodding as he goes to the next slide. “And I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“Spencer…” You said, swooning slightly. 

“#2, I’d be a great husband.” 

“That’s a debatable fact.” You say, chuckling. 

“Have I given you any indication that I wouldn’t be?” 

You smile and shake your head no. 

“#3, I have a ring, a very pretty one that Garcia helped me pick out and it’s yours if you say yes.” Spencer says, that makes you laugh loudly because of course she did, no wonder she’d been acting weird at work for the past couple of weeks. “In all seriousness… Y/N, I love you and I feel like I’ve loved since you brought me to this coffee shop more than a year ago and asked me to make the best decision of my life. You are my best friend, the mother of my child… I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to share my life with. So..” Spencer takes that moment to stand to kneel down on one knee. “Will you marry me, Please.” 

The tears that had been threatening to fall since he started were coming in full swing now. You nodded fast. “Yes! 1000% yes!” You exclaim. Spencer takes that moment to slide the ring on to your finger as you hear the faint applause from the bored baristas in the empty coffee shop who have gotten to know you both over the years. Spencer sweeps you into a deep kiss, that you can barely stop smiling for. You pull apart when you hear Genevieve start to babble in her highchair, reaching for the two of you. 

“Oh, come here, Bug.” You say, going to pick her up, kissing the top of her head. “Can’t stand not being the center of attention, huh?” 

“Well, she is her mother’s daughter.” Spencer chuckles when you level a bored expression at him. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He says, starting to pack Genevieve’s stuff back into her stroller. “What movie are we watching tonight?” He asks. 

You think for a second. “How’s Wall-E sound?” 

Spencer smiles when he hears you say the first movie you watched together. That was the night he knew for sure that he was going to marry you someday. You didn’t know it yet, but Spencer did, and he was rarely wrong. 

“Sounds wonderful, baby.” He smiles, as the three of you walk out of the coffee shop, a newly cemented family.

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[davidcarner]

Chuck and Sarah vs The Break Up Ch 14, It’s Over

A/N: This fic has gotten out of hand, it's time to end it…it's Ch 14, It's Over

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and I'm sorry for what I'm about to do…no I'm not….

"Are you absolutely sure, Chuck?" Sarah asked. Tears were in her eyes. "We do this, there's no going back."

"We have to, we can't keep living like this," Chuck replied. "I know what you want, but we have to, I can't do this anymore." Sarah nodded, straightened, and reached over to adjust her fiancé's tie one last time.

"I'll tell Beckman," she said. "She'll get the paperwork started. Are you sure? Because there is no changing your mind."

"I'm positive," Chuck said. "Let's go."

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I would never ask you to do this by yourself," Chuck replied, following her out the door.

"Buddy, are you sure about this?" Morgan asked.

"Never been more sure," Chuck replied.

"But, Dude, you can't end it like this," Morgan nearly pleaded. Chuck stopped, and so did Sarah as they turned to face Morgan.

"Look, it's not going to change that much," Chuck said. "You and Casey are still going to be just across the courtyard."

"And Alex," he grumbled. Sarah's eyebrow shot up.

"Really," she said, talking about anything to calm the pit of dread in her stomach.

"Yeah, they're going at it like rabbits, and Casey is more vocal than I ever imagined," Morgan said, and started to the briefing room. Chuck and Sarah stood there a second both blinking.

"You ready?" Chuck asked. Sarah looked at him.

"I'm just so scared," she admitted.

"I know, this changes a lot, but at the same time it doesn't," he said. "Trust me?"

"Always," she said, nodding. "Trust me?"

"Til the ends of the Earth mah dear," he said. Sarah laughed, took his hand and led him into the conference room.

}o{

A few hours later

"Casey, you alright?" Chuck asked. Casey looked at him.

"I should be asking you that," Casey replied. "You're awful calm."

"Things happen," Chuck replied. "That's the spy life." Casey grunted. "I meant about Alex." Casey gave him an "are you stupid" look.

"Bartowski, spies don't fall in love," Casey said. Chuck looked over his shoulder at Sarah who was playing the role of a server.

"Really?" Chuck said, a grin covering his face. Casey looked at Sarah who was smiling, and holy hell, was she blushing? Casey shook his head.

"Let me correct myself, I don't know what in the hell you did to her but the best spies don't fall in love," Casey said.

"If you ask him nicely, I'm sure he can show you," Sarah said over the coms. "Plus I can still kick your ass, Casey." Chuck just drank his drink, grinning.

"I need brain bleach for that," Casey muttered.

"Serves you right for what you did to poor Morgan," Chuck said. Casey grinned, and grunted a laugh. "Seriously Casey, you've been watching Alex more than I've ever seen you during an op." Casey quit fake wiping the counter, placed both hands on the bar and glared at Chuck.

"She's my partner, it's what we do for each other," Casey growled. "Now either help me, or leave me alone, because someone needs to watch her, since apparently you can't."

"I'm watching her reflection off that mirror behind you, the way Sarah taught me," Chuck said, enjoying watching Casey nearly melting down. Casey looked confused, looked behind him, then back to Chuck, studied him, and grunted.

Good job, Bartowski," Casey said, begrudgingly. "Looks like Sarah finally rubbed off on you."

"That's what he said," Sarah replied, grinning. Chuck nearly spit out his drink, laughing. He then looked in the mirror and flashed. Casey saw and brought him a glass of water.

"Signal her to activate her com, we have a problem," Chuck said. "The info is in the belt buckle." Casey kept an eye on Forrest until she looked their direction. Casey subtly tugged his ear, and Forrest, laughing at a joke, bent her head to the side, touched the wig, activating it.

"Casey," she whispered.

"The mark has what we need in the belt buckle," Casey said.

"Forrest, find out what room he's in, tell him you'll meet him there later, Sarah and I will break in, and when he comes in tranq him," Chuck said. Casey nodded at him, not saying anything, but the thanks was in his eyes. "Aw, crap," he muttered as the next flash hit him. "Wow that was a brain freeze from that water."

"Chuck," Casey growled.

"Two Fulcrum agents," Chuck said.

"Forrest, get that belt buckle, however you have to," Casey said with a pained expression on his face.

"This must be bad, he didn't even tell me to stay at the bar," Chuck muttered.

"Maybe he knew that someone else would," Sarah's voice came over the earpiece. "If you leave."

"What?" Chuck asked, grinning.

"Don't find out," she said. Chuck gulped.

"Are you kidding me," he muttered. "Sarah you have a situation, the mark is coming your way, apparently you're more his type, sorry, Forrest."

"Not a problem," Forrest replied.

"Hullo, beautiful," the mark said. "I think I could use some personal service." Sarah laughed.

"Has that line every worked?" Sarah asked. The mark shrugged, not one bit ashamed. Sarah wiggled her left hand in his face. "Sorry, happily married."

"How can you know, you've never been with me," the mark said.

Chuck groaned, threw back what was left of his drink, spun his chair, muttered, "Sorry, Sarah," and walked over to them. "I'm sorry, Sir, but I think the lady has made it clear she wishes to be left alone." Sarah had an unreadable look on her face. The mark looked around and walked/pushed Chuck a little bit away from Sarah.

"Don't get involved," the mark said. "I'm Cole Barker, MI-6." Chuck flashed, and shook his head. "You okay?"

"Oh, I'm great," Chuck said. ""Got any ID?" Cole just stared at him.

"I'm undercover," he said.

"Good, because I'm Charles Carmichael, NSA, CIA, and BTW, you just got PWNed," Chuck said, grinning. Cole gave him a strange look.

"What my partner is trying to say is, why are you digging up graves?" Sarah asked.

"And why are two Fulcrum agents on their way here?" Forrest added, having joined the pow wow. Cole gulped.

"Bloody hell, all of you?" he asked. They all nodded. "I have a contact to meet to get the device needed to read the chip in my belt buckle."

"I'm on the roof, under fire!" Casey yelled. Everyone took off to the roof, with Sarah trying to make sure she has Chuck covered. When they get to the roof, there was a helicopter there, loaded with a machine gun. The helicopter fired pinning all four behind a car.

"When I flash, yank me down," Chuck says to Sarah. Her eyes bug out as he stood, looked at the helicopter, and machine guns, and began to flash. Sarah grabbed him yanking him down.

"Is he crazy?" Cole asked.

"No, in love," Forrest retorted, glaring at Cole. Chuck shook it off, and looked at the two weapons Cole was carrying.

"Hand me your guns," Chuck said.

"No, I can shoot the gas line, knocking the helicopter down," Cole said.

"Yes, you could, which will probably make it fall to the street, killing innocents, or I could try it my way, taking out the machine guns and the rotor, making it have to land," Chuck retorted.

"You can do that?" Sarah asked. Chuck nodded. She shoved the guns into his hands, grabbed him by the lapels, and pulled him into a scorching kiss, surprising even Cole. "If you die, I'll haunt you."

"One, it's hard to concentrate when you do that, two, I think you have it the wrong way around," Chuck said. Sarah stared at him. "You know what, I'm wrong," he said. He gave her an eyebrow waggle, flashed, shook his head, clearing it, grinned, stood, and began to fire. He took out the machine gun first, and then the rotor. The helicopter was forced to land and the occupants all got out, with their hands raised. He felt her beside him before he heard her.

"That one of Ellie's upgrades?" she asked. Chuck nodded. "Adrenaline?" He nodded again. "A shoot out like that can do that."

"I was thinking about earlier, and that kiss, and maybe later," Chuck said. Sarah grinned.

"Now I'm feeling the adrenaline," she admitted.

}o{

"Good work, team," Beckman said. "The upgrades seemed to work perfect."

"Yes ma'am, they did," Chuck admitted. "I am worried about Agent Barker."

"I have been assured by his superiors that we can trust him," Beckman said. "His record is remarkable." Sarah snorted. Beckman looked at her.

"Sorry, I was think about a different sort of record," Sarah replied. Beckman chuckled.

"I apologize but until this part is done, I'm going to need you two on standby," Beckman said. Chuck nodded.

"We aren't locked into Carmichael Solutions or anything are we?" Chuck asked.

"NO!" everyone but Sarah replied. Chuck and Sarah looked at everyone.

"What we mean to say is, you two could go home and do whatever it is you want," Ellie said with the biggest grin on her face.

"You're vibrating, Ellie," Chuck said. Ellie didn't care.

"Chuck, you and Sarah go debrief Cole, and keep your phones on," Beckman said. She stopped before she closed the connection. "Are you two okay?" Chuck and Sarah shared a look.

"We're great," Sarah replied, smiling. Chuck nodded, a stupid grin on his face. Beckman nodded and logged off. The two headed into a different conference room where Barker was. They debriefed him, and once they were done, there was a call for Chuck. He went to answer it leaving the two alone.

"That was well done back there at the hotel," Barker said. "Nice cover."

"What cover?" Sarah asked, looking at her ring. "I'm married."

"To who?" Barker asked. Sarah just smiled. "Chuck?" She nodded.

"As of a few hours ago, I am a married woman," Sarah replied. "Our honeymoon got interrupted by your graverobbing."

"Well, you're welcome," he said, grinning. Sarah had a confused look on her face. "I kept you from consummating it, and now you can get back to being a spy." Sarah had a salacious grin on her face.

"Cole, we've consummated it," she replied. Chuck walked back in the room. Cole stared at him and shook his head.

"Well done," he said. Chuck gave Sarah a look. She shook her head.

"So that was Beckman, and I have a plan," Chuck said. The two were intrigued.

}o{

"Chuck," Sarah said, her feet on the coffee table, totally relaxed.

"Yes, Mrs. Bartowski," Chuck answered. Sarah beamed at him.

"I'm sorry about the cold feet this morning after I had all but bullied you into marrying me," Sarah said, taking his hand.

"Sarah, you weren't the only one that was scared, but I just couldn't not be Mr. Walker one minute more," Chuck said, making her smile even brighter.

"That was an amazing idea you had today," Sarah said, snuggling up against him, them both just in robes on their couch. Chuck had an idea that the item taken from Cole might be trackable so Chuck decided to hack it, while locked into the secure holding cell at Carmichael Industries. The Fulcrum team couldn't get in, and Casey's Tac team took them down before they were really sure what had happened. They were so precise, they managed to stop any Fulcrum agents from taking ricin and killing themselves. Beckman had declared it a win. Chuck requested Cole stay around because he was worried Cole would be a target after the hit Fulcrum had taken. Beckman agreed, called MI6 and had cleared it. Casey and Alex were currently babysitting Cole, allowing Chuck and Sarah to enjoy their "honeymoon." "Oh," Sarah said, a thought entering her mind. She walked over pulled out her purse and handed Chuck a file. "You need to sign this," she said. Chuck looked over the papers. It was very simple, he and Sarah were married, and her permanent assignment was to be stationed with her husband. Chuck looked at her.

"You know, I do feel a little bad," he admitted. Sarah stared at him. "God forbid something happen to us, but if we did get a divorce you'd be stuck here."

"Chuck, I'm not getting a divorce, and I'm not stuck, I want to be here," Sarah said. Chuck went over and got a blank piece of paper, wrote something on it, and handed it to her. She looked at it. "A prenup, Chuck?" she said, not looking happy. "A. What the hell, B. It's a bit late."

"Just read it," Chuck said, grinning. She glared at him for a second.

"I, Chuck Bartowski…." She looked up at him, tears in her eyes and snatched the pen from him. "Will never contemplate a divorce," she said softly. She signed it. "Signed Chuck Bartowski and Sarah Walker." She stared at him for a second. "That's the last time I ever sign anything Sarah Walker," she said, grinning. She scooted over, and molded herself against his side. "I never thought I'd be here. Thank you."

"Anytime, Sarah, and to be fair, I sometimes wondered if we would myself," Chuck admitted. "So how do you feel about a train across Europe as our honeymoon?" Sarah sat up and looked at him, her eyes shining.

"I would looove that," she said. "But," she began sighing.

"Fulcrum," Chuck said. Sarah nodded.

"Fulcrum," she agreed. "And then, happily ever after."

"Sarah, should I try and get the Intersect out of my head?" Chuck asked.

"I mean, we're not ready to start a family right his second are we?" Sarah asked. Chuck shook his head. "I'm on protection duty for now on, your sister and brother-in-law have perfect cover jobs, and if we did decide to have a family, I would just not be in the field and you could just stay with me being an analyst. It's all in those papers you need to sign."

"Any reason I shouldn't sign any of them?" Chuck asked. Sarah kissed him.

"No, Sweetie," she said. "I said I'd protect you and that means from the NSA, CIA, or whatever other alphabet soup they throw at you. If there was something in there, I'd tell you." Chuck pulled the pen out, and signed everything. He leaned over to kiss her when his and her phone both went off. "Duty calls."

"That's right, and went we get home, you have husbandly duties to perform," Sarah said, gently bopping him on the nose.

"One question?" he asked, smiling. "I know if I do them wrong I have to do them again, but if I do them right, can I do them again anyway?" Sarah's cheeky grin gave him the answer.

}o{

Sarah was sitting in Carmichael Solutions, when Ellie came in holding a glass of wine for both of them.

"I love my brother but the fact he can sprain his ankle celebrating after bringing down a cell…" Ellie trailed off, shaking her head.

"Hey, quick question, do you see any reason Chuck should get the Intersect out of his head?" Sarah asked. Ellie shook her head.

"I made some fixes, added what I call an internal governor, we've added some skills," Ellie said. "He's in no danger physically from it, and I've seen the paperwork, he can switch to just being an analyst any time he wants." She studied Sarah for a moment, smiling. "Thinking about the next step?" she asked. Sarah shrugged. "Forget Chuck, what about you?"

"I like Carmichael Solutions," Sarah admitted. "Even if the CIA and NSA pulled out I think this whole team could do some good. I like the idea of using my international badguyery, Chuck's computer skills, and Casey and Forrest's spy skills. Heck, even Morgan is amazing at what he does, we have you and Devon for medical, I see no reason we can't do this for a while, and be safe."

"I agree," Ellie said. "As long as I say when someone needs to be shut down, you listen."

"I will for medical," Sarah said. Ellie looked at her, grinned, and they toasted.

"He has no idea we run this place, does he?" Ellie asked.

"None," Sarah admitted. Cole walked into the room. "Agent Barker."

"Agent Bartowski," he said, grinning. "I was wrong. You are a world class spy, and so is your husband." Sarah smiled and nodded her thanks. "You two led the capture of that entire cell, you have Dr. Busgang and you have a lead on the creator of the Intersect, although with your sister-in-law here, I'm not sure you need him." Sarah looked up at her sister.

"I mean he's welcome to listen to Ellie if she wants him to," Sarah said grinning. Ellie smiled back at her.

"Keep in touch, Agent Bartwoski," Barker said. "Who knows, maybe when my MI-6 days are done, I could come work for you."

"Don't you mean Chuck?" Sarah asked. Cole gave them a look. "Don't tell him."

"Sarah, he's the Intersect, surely he knows," Barker said. Sarah took a drink of wine as her answer. Cole laughed and head out.

"Your mission as Sarah Walker is over," Ellie said. Tears came to Sarah's face. "He does anything stupid," she began.

"You'll have to get in line," Sarah said grinning. Casey walked in, looked at the two, and started to leave when Chuck entered the room. Casey just laughed.

"What's so funny?" Chuck asked. Casey shook his head.

"Bartowski, life as you know it is over, and you have no idea," Casey said.

"Yeah, I do, Casey," he said looking at the two most important women in his life." Casey clapped him on the shoulder.

"I suppose you do, Numbnuts."

A/N: Wait, you didn't think I meant the fic did you? I was going to wait until Ellie and Devon's wedding and do a double wedding, but it's me and you know I have absolutely no patience, so, there you go. Boy have I messed up season 3….hate that…Hope you liked it, reviews and PMs are always welcomed…Til next time!

DC

[davidcarner]

The Kiss, Ch 7, The Past

A/N: There was more Buy More in this than I realized. So…I may have cheated a little. I give you The Kiss, Ch 7, The Past

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and I didn't get kicked out of college….though it took me 10 ¾ years to get my undergrad…

Sarah huffed out a breath and ran her hand through her hair. These past few days had been…well…rough. It had all started with Professor Flemming at Stanford. Chuck was asked to assist on a mission to find him, and he passed on it due to the personal nature of it, with General Stanfield's blessing. Chuck and Sarah were doing what they could to get his mind off of it, but the more he tried not to think about it, the more he did. He had told her he was going to go clean his room, and she offered to help. They began getting rid of the old Stanford stuff when Sarah saw it, his old ID. She told him how cute he looked, and he glanced at it. She was stunned as he flashed on the ID.

After discussing this development with Casey and Stansfield, they tried to pick up Flemming, but he took an arrow to the back. She hadn't realized that type of weapons were popular with hitmen. Stanford had nearly been a disaster, but they got the information the CIA wanted and got out of there with their lives. Chuck and Sarah skipped the football game, and with the cleanup over, she sat on the quad with Chuck, looking over the beauty of it.

"I know I'm supposed to be your emotional baggage handler," he began. She reached over and squeezed his hand. She patted her lap, and he lay across the fountain ledge they were sitting on and put his head in her lap. She brushed at his curls with her fingers and wondered what it would have been like to meet Chuck Bartowski on a college campus; a nerd in all of his glory. "I thought I had moved on."

"Chuck," she said softly. "Just because you move on doesn't mean things don't still hurt. You can lose someone but still remember things and miss them." She looked around the campus. "This it the first time you've been back, and I think you're handling it quite well. I probably would try to find something to punch."

"You do have a bit of a violent streak," he replied. She pulled on a strand of hair. "OW!"

"Sorry, it's my violent streak," she said, as she bent down and kissed his head. "You know what Awesome thinks we're doing right now, right?"

"You still think Ellie is trying to convince him we're taking things slow?" Chuck asked. Sarah giggled. "Wait, did you giggle." She slapped him on the shoulder. "Oh. My. God. I just made Sarah Walker CIA super spy, giggle." Her cellphone rang and she looked at it.

"I need to take this," Sarah said. Chuck nodded and she walked away for a little privacy. He turned to look at the fountain behind him, and noticed something written on the plaque. He leaned over to get a closer look.

"You nearly screwed that one up," Casey said, behind him, or right in front of him. Whichever way he was, he frightened Chuck, making him fall in the fountain. That's how Sarah found him, being pulled out by Casey. Now they were in the car, on their way back to Echo Park. She huffed, looked over at him, and frowned at how he looked absolutely miserable. He had a towel wrapped around him, and because everyone else in the vehicle was hot from the game, the air conditioner was on full blast. He was nearly shivering. She leaned over.

"I want you to stay with me tonight," she whispered. He looked over at her. "You've had a rough day, and I just want to make sure your all right." He swallowed thickly. "Don't worry, Chuck. I'm not going to take advantage of you," she said with a grin. He smiled and faced forward. "Unless you want me to that is," she added as an afterthought. He whipped his head towards her, and she had an innocent look on her face. The grin that covered his face made him look a bit ridiculous, but he didn't care. He turned to his right, where Casey sat. Casey growled, and Chuck looked forward, hoping this ride would end soon.

}o{

He stepped out of the shower, and felt like a new man. Where had she gotten clothes that had fit him, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. They weren't his, and that meant either she had gotten things for him or there was another guy in her life that wore this stuff, but she had told him everything, right? He shook his head. No, no rabbit hole. Bad Chuck! Don't go down the rabbit hole. This was a CIA agent, she probably had a stash of clothes for Casey as well. He pushed the troubling thoughts away and entered the kitchen. Wow, did that smell good. This is the woman who routinely burned corndogs but apparently, she could cook something right!

"Hey," she said softly, with a big smile as she saw him. She looked him up and down, not even hiding the fact she was checking him out. "Good, I thought those would look good on you." Chuck just looked at her. "Since you are supposed to be here sometimes for protection I thought it best you have some clothes and I got an expense account from our boss to purchase you some items." Chuck nodded. Well, that made complete sense. "Chili and grilled cheese sandwiches okay?"

"That sounds amazing," Chuck replied.

"I know it's getting a little cool out there, so I thought since we didn't have any real stadium food, this wasn't too far off," she said, stirring the chili. She pulled up the spoon with some chili on it, and nodded for him to come over. She gave him a taste, and it warmed him, but it wasn't too warm.

"That's delicious," Chuck replied. Sarah grinned.

"Corndogs, eh," she said. "Real food, I can do."

"I hope you didn't go to any trouble for me," he said sincerely. She looked at him and shook her head.

"Chuck, if I did it's because I wanted to," she said. She sighed, took the chili off the heat, took his hand, and led him to the couch. "Okay, let's do this."

"Do what?" Chuck asked. She handed him a disk and nodded to her laptop. He looked at it, and realized it was the file from earlier. "Sarah!"

"Chuck, you need to know," she said. "I've told Stansfield. If you don't know it could affect you."

"If I do it might as well," Chuck replied. Sarah nodded.

"My guess is, knowing you, whatever is on here, you'll make it something bigger in your head if you don't know," she said. "I'm here, and you need to see this." Chuck nodded. She squeezed his hand. "Right here beside you, okay?" Chuck nodded, inserted the disk, and hit play. He watched Bryce and Fleming talk about Chuck, and Bryce come up with the plan to get Chuck expelled. When it was over, she held him.

"He was trying to help," Chuck said softly. "He was trying to protect me. I mean I would have liked to have known and maybe we could have had another plan, but he was trying to protect me."

"Chuck," she said softly, holding him. "It's all right to be mad at him." He looked at her, and shook his head.

"I'm kinda having trouble doing that right now, because I have you in my life," he said. Sarah smiled. She kissed him softly. It started out as something sweet, and caring, but it took on a life of its own, quickly. She pulled away, grinning.

"I don't want to take advantage of you," she said, winking. She stood up, leaving him slack jawed on the couch as she went back to the stove.

"I don't mind," he said, once he got his brain working again.

"Nope," she said, popping the "p". "I wouldn't want to do something you'd regret tomorrow." Chuck stared at her, as he walked over to the kitchen.

"You are seriously getting me back from a few weeks ago, aren't you?" he asked. She grinned.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she said, as innocently as she could. "You have been through an emotional experience and the last thing I need is for you and I to do something that could hurt you emotionally. Plus, I'd be in big trouble with my boss if I broke the Intersect." Chuck grinned at her. She began to ladle out the chili and put a sandwich on a plate for him.

"You are devious," Chuck said. Sarah had an amused smile on her face.

"Let's say I know what you are talking about," she said, smirking. "Why would I do such a thing?"

"Because the real Sarah Walker isn't a cold, robotic, emotionless spy," Chuck replied. "Because she's funny, wicked smart, sassy, and likes to have fun."

"Wouldn't doing what your suggesting be more fun?" she asked. Chuck put down his bowl, walked over to her, and held her face in his hands.

"She also protects me, from physical, or emotional harm," he said softly. He leaned his forehead down to hers. "She makes me her number one priority when she should be making herself the number one priority."

"You make me the number one priority," she replied, just as soft. "I'm just making it even. Tonight is about making sure you're okay. If that means tears, then so be it. If that means bad movies, then so be it. I really hope it means snuggling in bed."

"You are not ready for the Chuck Bartowski sleep snuggle," Chuck said.

"Chuck, I've started revolutions in Jakarta with a fork," Sarah replied. "I faced Ellie one on one. Your sleep snuggle doesn't scare me." Chuck gave her the eyebrow dance and she grinned.

"Woman, when I later tell this story to the future generations, I will tell them how your arrogance led to your downfall," Chuck said, loftily. Sarah raised an eyebrow.

"Did you say when you tell our kids about this?" she asked. Chuck sputtered. She laughed deeply. He knew she had gotten him, and she had barely even tried. They ate dinner, watched movies, and she eventually dragged him to bed. The snuggling was next level, and in the morning when they opened their eyes, trying to figure out where one began and the next ended was nearly impossible.

"Sleep okay, Sarah," he asked. She nodded sleepily.

"Maybe the best sleep I've ever had," she said.

"What do we tell Ellie?" Chuck asked.

"I think we only have one choice left, Chuck," Sarah said.

"What's that, Sarah?" Chuck asked, snuggling against her, as she played with his curls.

"We have to make love," she said nonchalantly.

"That would probably be best for the cover and explain why I'm over here," he said. Sarah shook her head where he couldn't see it and continued to play with his hair. The smirk that covered her face would have been a dead giveaway if he had seen it, but he hadn't.

"Sure, Chuck, for the cover," she said, and continued to play with his hair. Chuck opened his eyes and thought about what she said. His mouth nearly dropped, and his eyes grew wide as he realized what she had said. He had only one thought as he lay there.

Don't. Freak. Out.

A/N: Hoped you liked it, reviews are always welcomed…til next time.

DC

[davidcarner]

Chuck vs The Name

A/N: This takes place several years after the finale.

Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck, and I really wish I had a time machine to go back and find a way to rewrite season 3

She knew she had forgotten many things, things she couldn't remember no matter how hard she tried, but it seems lately her husband forgot she was a spy, well, used to be. His phone rang again, and he had that same look on his face when he saw who it was. He answered it, walking away and spoke in hushed tones. She knew what he was about to say.

"You know, lesser women would be worried you're having an affair," she said, an amused look on her face.

"I'm not trying that hard to hide this from you," Chuck answered honestly. "I just don't think it's a good idea for you to deal with this."

"You know from what I can remember and the stories you tell me, you making these kinds of decisions…they never end well for us," she said with a pointed look. He took a deep breath.

"It's Shaw," he said. She sat back. "He's dying, and he wants me to visit…again."

"Daniel?" she said, a disgusted look on her face. Chuck nodded. She shook her head. One thing she did hate about the randomness of her memories was sometimes it was memories of Shaw that came back…together…alone…in DC.

"If you're remembering what I think you're remembering, do us both a favor and don't tell me," Chuck said. Sarah grinned at him.

"Talk about wishing you could forget something," she deadpanned. Chuck grinned.

"That bad?" he asked a little hopefully. She smiled coyly.

"Let's just say with hindsight, it's pretty clear we were both trying to forget someone and move on with our lives, and it really wasn't working," she said. Chuck's grin grew. "That's all your getting."

"Oh, Sarah, you forget, I know you, and that fact you said that much, says TONS!" he said, nearly skipping out of her office. She threw a wad of paper at him.

"Do you want me to go with you?" she asked. Chuck shook his head.

"No, I think at this point it wouldn't do anyone any good," Chuck said, a forlorn look on his face. "It hasn't been pretty the past few times."

"You said dying," she began not sure how to ask what she was wondering.

"I don't think he'll last the week," Chuck admitted. "That Intersect…it burnt his brain up, Sarah. It's pitiful, actually." Sarah nodded. "If you want to come, you're more than welcome. It really won't bother me." Sarah shook her head. "Love you."

"Love you," she replied with a wink, and with that, he left. When he arrived at the hospital Shaw was staying, he was met by his doctor.

"Ellie," he said, hugging her. "How's it going?"

"Not good, Chuck," she admitted. "We did get it removed, but it was too late." Chuck lowered his head. "Hey, he did this, it's not your fault. He does seem to be sorrowful for a lot of things though."

"From what I can tell, he was so distraught over Eve, when he found out Sarah had killed her, he uploaded the faulty Intersect," Chuck said. "I think it fed his rage and anger for years."

"You don't have to do this," she said. He gave her a sad smile.

"El, if I don't who would?" he asked. She hugged him.

"Aces, Charles," she whispered. "You're Aces." Chuck went in the room.

"Chuck," Shaw said weakly. His body was losing mass, the luscious black hair was thinning, he looked like he was slowly dying. "I need to give you something."

"Shaw, you don't need to give me anything," Chuck said, sitting down in the chair.

"No, I tried to manipulate you, and I need to fix it," Shaw said.

"Shaw," Chuck said, patiently. "You can't fix it." Shaw took a deep breath. That action alone seemed to rack his body.

"I did terrible things to you, things I can never fix, but this, maybe I can give you some piece of mind," Shaw said. Chuck was confused. "I played you from the beginning. I knew about the Intersect and thought the problem was Sarah, so I sat out to remove the problem by seducing her."

"You can't seduce a CIA agent," Chuck said, scoffing. Shaw gave him a speculative look.

"She was hurt, she was insecure, she was feeling things she never had before, and she was so far in love and compromised it was easy picking," Shaw said. Chuck was stunned. "I studied her, found out her name, I told her that Sarah never sounded right for her, but it was a lie. She is Sarah. She may not have been before Burbank, but Chuck, when she was around you, she was Sarah. She was looking for anyone to latch on to after Prague, and I did everything I could to give her the port in the storm she needed. She would rebuke, and rebuke and rebuke, but as she saw you in the light she was terrified of seeing you in, she gave in. She bought into those fears you were changing, and found evidence to support what she wanted to see, instead of looking at the big picture. Plus Casey inadvertently helped me by telling her you were becoming a spy and changing, it scared her more and more. She wanted you so bad, but didn't know what to do about it."

"You're playing a game," Chuck said.

"Why would you think that," Shaw asked. Chuck just looked at him. "Okay, I'll admit, I've played mind games with you before."

"The reason none of that works, none of it, is she was with you, a spy. If she couldn't be with me, and I was a spy, then why you, if you were a spy?" Chuck asked.

"What you say makes a lot of sense," Shaw said. "But think about this, did you make a lot of common sense decisions when it came to Sarah." Chuck looked a hair sheepish. "If she was with you, she would know she missed her chance to have more than the spy life, which is what she wanted. She wanted you, and to be with you and not have it all…that just reminded her that she messed it up. If she was with me, we both knew what we were, and somewhere in her mind it made sense. Plus I hadn't hurt her like you did."

"I don't know if that was necessary," Chuck muttered.

"It was a perfect storm to keep you two apart, and it still didn't work," Shaw said. "Look, she told me her name because I got her at the right place, right time. I used it like twice and never again. Sarah's 'real name' may be Sam, but she's Sarah. Chuck, I am sorry. I am sorry my vendetta cost you happiness, I am sorry that I nearly ruined your life on multiple occasions, and I'm really sorry about your dad." Chuck sighed and looked at the monitors. It didn't look good.

"I forgive you," he lied. Shaw nodded a thanks, and shut his eyes. Chuck watched the heartrate slow. A few minutes later, Shaw flatlined. Ellie came in with a team, and Chuck got out of the way. He watched them work for a few minutes on him, but he couldn't be saved. She called time of death and turned to stare at her brother. "He asked me to forgive him," he said softly to her. "I lied. I told him I did, but how do you forgive the man that killed your father?" Ellie put her arm around him and led him outside. Sarah was there, to Chuck's surprise.

"I had a feeling this was going to end this way so I sent for her," Ellie said. Chuck hugged her, not able to speak at the moment. Sarah took his hand and led him away. She took him to her car, saying they would get his later.

"Can we just drive a bit?" Chuck asked. Sarah squeezed his hand and they took off. After a half an hour of no words from Chuck, Sarah had to say something.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Maybe," Chuck answered. "But I'm not sure you're the one I should talk about it with, or if you're the only one I should talk about it with."

"Well, let's give it a try," she said.

"It's going to affect you and…" Chuck trailed off.

"Just spit it out," she said.

"Fine," Chuck said, emotionally spent. "He ran a seduction game on you. He said he knew about your name, he came in with the intent of getting you away from me to make me a better spy." Sarah was quiet for a minute.

"That's kinda impressive," she said softly. Chuck looked over and saw a tear in her eye. "I mean I don't remember everything, but from what you've told me and what I do remember, that is a really good plan." She was quiet for a minute. "So, tell me the rest." Chuck grinned.

"Do you remember when he said Sarah doesn't fit you?" he asked. She nodded. "He lied." She looked over at him. "He said ever since you came to Burbank, you were Sarah. Maybe not before, but since Burbank, you were Sarah."

"Because of you," she said. "You know what's funny. When I lost my memory, I thought a couple of times of going back to Sam. Every time I saw you, I knew Sam wasn't right. I was Sarah now, and if I'm honest with myself, since Germany I've been Sarah Bartowski."

"I love you Sarah Bartowski, or whatever it is you want me to call you," Chuck said.

"How about Myrtle?" she asked. Chuck whipped his head around to see her laughing.

"Home, Myrtle," he said.

"Sure thing, Barnaby," she replied with a wink as they headed home.

A/N: Hope you liked it, reviews and PMs are always welcomed…Take Care

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