#plus the fact that after s2 he almost always just so happens to be in the same room as the others 🤨

[the-nefarious-vampire]

one of these days i swear i am going to make a character analysis for the cat across the whole series

[strigeist]

Heyyyyy!!! You still do Encanto? If so the can you do Camilo x male reader and like the madrigals throw a party for whatever and male reader knows how to dance so he dances with a girl/guy whatever and they accidentally kiss and male reader explains or whatever that it was an accident. (Sorry if it’s long and too detailed)

~ Yes! Since we're so close to the new year I decided to mix it up with that, I hope you don't mind. And it's no biggie, really! I prefer more specific requests anyway. Thank you for the request, it's the first one I get so I'm pretty happy about that s2. Hope you like it! ~

Camilo x Male reader

Summary: You accidentally kiss someone else while dancing. Camilo, your boyfriend, sees it. Misundertandings ensue. (You make up at the end, though, so don't worry!)

Word count: 1830.

Genre: Emotional hurt/comfort(?)

Author's notes: This might be a bit ooc, I'm not too sure, it's been a while since I've interacted with anything Encanto! Also, I used the word "parce" at some point, I've heard it's similar to "bro" in English or "mano" in Portuguese. I say it a lot so I feel it would fit in the dialogue but do let me know if it's not used like that in Colombia. And!! The dance I had in mind for this was cumbia since it's, apparently, a very popular dance there, but it's not really mentioned explicitly (and it could be wrong, since if you looked up that about Brazil Google would make you think most people dance samba at parties here when it's not really true, at least in my experience). And yes, the way the "kiss" happens isn't that realistic but who cares? Not me (though, fun fact, something very similar happened to me irl once!)

Celebrating the new year was always fun at Encanto. The whole town came over to the Madrigals' house and danced, drank, ate, and just generally partied until dawn. Now, it wasn't as wild as it sounds, but it was always a treat.

This year was particularly exciting for you since it was your first year officially attending as Camilo's boyfriend!

What did that change? Well, not much, only that you helped organize the place before the party, which you didn't mind (not when that meant you could spend the entire day goofing around with Camilo while doing so). But even though you partied together almost every year, there was just something different about dancing as a couple instead of friends.

The two of you had danced for a while after the *real* party started, however eventually decided to switch partners every few minutes as most did. It was just more fun like that, and you were still close enough for it to be considered time spent together. Plus, you were amongst friends, so it didn't feel weird.

Eventually, you ended up back together. After a few short minutes of dancing, Camilo suddenly seemed distracted, staring behind you as he stepped along to the beat of the song.

"You know, if you keep doing that you're gonna step on my foot!" You teased, then asked, "What's wrong?"

"... Oh, perdón, corazón." You cringed a little at how that rhymed. It seemed intentional by the way he giggled after saying that. "Mi mamá wants me to fix something, I think, I don't really understand what she's trying to say."

You stopped dancing and turned around to look as well, quickly finding Pepa gesturing angrily at the upstairs of the house and mouthing something to your boyfriend. After she noticed you looking, however, she stopped, smiled, and waved almost awkwardly. You and Camilo laughed.

"Want me to go with you?"

"No, no, it's fine! I want you to enjoy yourself, you already did enough by helping me with the decorations earlier. Just keep dancing or whatever." he explained, then grabbed your chin and gave you a soft kiss on the lips, grinning right after "See you in a few minutes!"

With that, he left.

'Charming bastard..." You thought as you watched him go, lips still tingling from his kiss.

[...]

You tried to wait for Camilo to come back but got bored after a few minutes. He did give you permission to dance with other people, and you were doing that before anyway, so you were sure he wouldn't mind.

The dance floor (that was actually just the main room of the house) was considerably fuller now that people started drinking, but you still had enough space to dance. Your current partner was Daniela, your sweet next-door neighbor. It was actually her mother that taught you how to dance along with some of the other kids in your street, so you were very comfortable dancing with each other.

You were facing each other to be able to talk better, one of your hands on her waist and the other on her hand. You spoke about your plans for the year, how your relationship was going, did some casual gossip because why not, when suddenly someone ran into her from behind. She fell forward, and your natural instinct was to try to hold her so she wouldn't fall. This, unfortunately for the two of you, ended up causing something quite awkward: your lips on hers.

It was very, very quick, but felt weird nonetheless. You hadn't really kissed anyone other than Camilo, but did this even count when it was on accident?

You stared at each other for a few seconds after separating. She was slowly becoming red like a tomato (and your face felt very hot as well, so Lord knows what you looked like), but both ended up laughing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't- someone ran into me-" She tried to explain, but you just shook your head and put your hand on her shoulder with a smile.

"I get it, it's fine, I noticed. Still wanna dance?"

She nodded positively and you went back to doing what you were before, not giving the event much thought.

[...]

A few more minutes passed, and still not a trace of Camilo. You weren't worried before, but now you were. Did something happen?

"Parce... I'm gonna go look for Camilo. He's been gone for a while, I'm worried." You announced and stopped dancing.

"Alright! See you later, (Y/n)! Tell him I said hi." She said.

"Will do!" You waved, then left.

You looked around the entire house and still couldn't find your boyfriend. Now you were really worried. It felt a bit irrational since it was Pepa who had left with him, so surely she would keep him safe. But what if something happened to the two of them, then?

Before your paranoid thoughts could get to you, you managed to find Dolores, who looked around as if looking for someone while holding a cup of juice.

"Hey, Dolores!" You greeted and she jumped before looking at you. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Have you seen Camilo around? I can't find him anywhere!"

"Oh, he's mad at you because you kissed Daniela." She explained, then widened her eyes and squeaked when she noticed what she just said. "I mean, no."

Your chest tightened when you heard what she said. So he thought you cheated on him?

"He saw that? But it was an accident! I don't-"

"I tried to tell him, but he didn't want to listen." She shrugged.

You didn't know how to feel about how Dolores was apparently listening to you and Daniela talk for her to have managed to catch that part, but didn't give it much thought. You were more worried about Camilo as of now.

"Where is he?"

She looked around with just her eyes, then replied.

"His bedroom. You should go, he's very upset."

You didn't wait a second before you left, quickly making your way to your boyfriend's room. Even though it wasn't really your fault, you still felt extremely guilty. This day was supposed to be one of fun and parties, not sadness! You weren't even sure he would believe you when you told him what had actually happened, but the thought of him breaking up with you because of that gave upset you too much, so you chose to think about it.

When you got to the glowing door of his bedroom, you knocked a few times, hands shaking a little from the built-up anxiety. You hoped he wasn't THAT hurt.

"Camilo, it's (Y/n)!" You said. "We need to talk!"

You couldn't hear anything behind the door for a while, but it suddenly just opened, revealing none other than Camilo. His eyes were red and puffy and he was still wearing what he wore at the party, though a little crumpled and with some small bits of dust that probably came from a blanket.

You could have cried at the sight, especially with this misunderstanding being the cause of it, but before you could say anything Camilo started talking.

"There's nothing to talk about!" he exclaimed angrily and sniffled, tears starting to fall from his eyes. "Y-you kissed her while I was gone! I trusted you! I thought..."

"No, no, mi vida! It's nothing like that!" you interrupted before he could go on, determined to avoid any further misunderstandings. "Someone pushed her on accident and she fell, I tried to catch her and, well, that's what you saw! I didn't say anything because, to us, it didn't mean anything! It was an accident! She has her boyfriend and I have you, and I would never want to kiss anyone else! I'm so, so, so sorry..."

Camilo stared at you silently as his tears came to a halt. He sniffled and dried his eyes with his hands before speaking again.

"So... You still love me?"

"Of course I do! I love you more than anything, amor!" your face got warmer after saying that. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I just didn't think it was that big of a deal, but I should have-"

Before you could keep going, Camilo hugged you so fast you didn't even see it coming. You returned the gesture and wrapped your arms gently around his figure, softly caressing his back as you did.

"... Mi hermana tried to say that to me, I think, but I didn't really listen... I'm, uh, sorry." He said. The words were a bit muffled since his face was pressed against your neck, but they were still understandable.

You let out a relaxed sigh, then giggled and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead.

"It's fine, she told me. I'm just glad you're not sad anymore... Unless you still are?" You pulled away and looked at him with a worried expression.

He pulled you back and shook his head.

"No, no! I'm glad I was wrong! I'm sorry for having jumped to conclusions so quickly-"

"But it was perfectly reasonable for you to get upset about that, I-"

"Ey, ey!" he interrupted as he pulled away, placing both hands on your shoulders. "What if, instead of infinitely apologizing to each other, we went back to having some fun?"

You laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds better. Wanna go back to the party?"

"Actually," Camilo replied with a mischievous grin "I had something else in mind." He walked a few steps back and looked at the inside of his bedroom, then at you again. "Wanna come in?"

You only raised an eyebrow and complied, following him into the room.

[...]

The idea turned out to be surprisingly mild. You were laying down comfortably on Camilo's bed, with your arms wrapped around him as you watched some telenovela his tío, Bruno, had recommended to him.

"But... Wasn't she his tía or something?" You asked, confused.

"Amor, are you even watching?" Camilo huffed in an annoyed manner but didn't bother looking up at you. "Yes, she is! But she doesn't remember that, she has amnesia! That's like, the whole point!" He said as he gestured at the screen.

"Perdón, perdón. I'm just busy looking at something else." You said, staring lovingly at him.

He turned his head towards you in curiosity, staring blankly for a few minutes before becoming almost as red as a tomato.

"Eres ridículo, (Y/n)." He laughed and gave you a quick kiss on the lips, then went back to watching the TV.

"What can I say? I love you! And you're very, very pretty."

"He, I love you too. Now pay attention to the telenovela or I swear I'll make you watch it all again!"

You both ended up falling asleep together while watching television. It wasn't exactly what you had in mind for the new year, but waking up in the morning with him still in your arms was certainly more than you could have asked for.

[sol-draws-sometimes]

Unrelated to this episode but as a twin, everytime I remember Lark had an affair with Sparrow’s wife, I’m just… in disbelief. Like, I hate when people ogle at my twin and I, and are like “WHAT’S IT LIKE BEING A TWIN!” “I WISH I WAS A TWIN!” “WOW! HAVING A TWIN IS HAVING A BUILT IN BESTFRIEND!” However, weird objectification aside, they’re not wrong. I DO have a close bond with twin that I don’t with anyone else. For most of my life (and all my childhood), we were on the same wavelength emotionally speaking. Obviously we had put diffrences, but the way we viewed the world and reacted to things emotionally was almost the same. In middle school, we both were struggling mentally, but we understood each other, she felt like the only irl person who truly understood what I was going through, because she was going through it too. To me, our relationship is taken for granted. No matter what happens, how much we fight or bicker, I have never once in my life doubted whether she loved me or not. Her love has always been, and still is, the strongest constant in my life. And even though the way we view the world and act emotionally is no longer exactly the same, she is still the one person I feel understands me the most.

And that’s why, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that Lark did that. How could he have done that. I could NEVER, see myself betray my sister like that. And yes I’m young, and ace (and on the aro spec), so you could argue it’s not the same but like, even if I were allo, I just, can not see myself having an affair WITH MY TWIN’S S.O.! (also I just hate the idea that cheating is just a thing that happens sometimes like, I’m sure there are relationships that recover from that, but come one, seriously it’s so easy to not cheat) The worst part is that I still think Lark loves Sparrow. Scratch that, I know he still loves Sparrow. I’m not good at wording it, but the best example I can think of, is Lark pretending to be Sparrow so that he could fix Sparrow’s relationship with Normal, so that Sparrow doesn’t have a bad relationship with their son. I’m thinking of that person who made a post about how Lark shows love and I wish I could remember so that can point to that, but it mentioned Lark sewing bulletproof into Normal’s suit. Anyway, Lark LOVES Sparrow, and they are each other’s world. The problem is that they’re codependent with each other, which can make them enable their worst attributes, or let them brush things off that shouldn’t be brushed off.

I can’t imagine doing what Lark did to Sparrow, to my sister. Idk how my sister could EVER forgive such a betrayal. I know some romantic couples can genuinely work together to overcome an affair, so I guess that can be applied to platonic and familial situations as well. But still, Sparrow TRUSTED Lark more than anyone else in his life, for Lark to break that that trust, it just… idk. Also, I definitely understand why Sparrow forgave Lark, they can’t lose their only family left. They are each other’s world. Especially after everything they’ve gone through. Tho I will say, I don’t think Sparrow’s just completely over it either. His wife and brother had a fucking affair together. That has to hurt. Plus, there are little lines when referring to Normal that Sparrow’s said that leads me to believe that Sparrow has some unprocessed feelings about the affair pushed deep, deep down to keep peace.

I wonder how much thought Anthony put into to that plot point. Most of the times it’s played as joke but if you think about it for 2 seconds it’s so fucked. But Anthony cares too much about the kiddads for me to believe it was just a joke, like the Hermie’s dads situation. I wonder what made him think this is a thing Lark would do.

This isn’t supposed to be an “I HATE LARK” post. I think he’s a very interesting character, the way he’s reacting and processing to everything that happened in S1 and S2 is fascinating. And just to reiterate, I know he still loves Sparrow. But still, I keep thinking about how do you betray the person who’s your whole world, who you arguably love the most. Or guess, my real question is WHY. What has going on in his head that led him to doing that. Even from a more selfish standpoint, I don’t think Sparrow currently trusts, or will ever trust Lark the way he did pre-affair. And I don’t think Lark is stupid enough to believe having an affair with Sparrow’s wife wouldn’t irrevocably change their relationship.

I wish I could be more eloquent, but I always forget and every time I remember what he did I just don’t know how to feel about it. Idk, I just keep thinking about them. I can’t help it, I’m a latino twin, they were handcrafted for me.

If you have any thoughts on this, PLEASE DO SHARE THEM WITH THEM WITH ME. (also idk if this conversation’s already been had but I haven’t engaged)

Ps: something, something Lark hates himself so much he tries to ruin his relationship with Sparrow because he feels like he doesn’t deserve love, not even from Sparrow. Yah started thinking about it outside my perspective. I can see that being his reasoning, but still…I just, I can’t image actual doing that. But yah, I think I’m satisfied with that reasoning.

[clementineofmine]

For the ask game :)

Same Weird Family (the series): 1, 4, 5, & 9

Thanks, @assaily, for the ask! I'm going to answer this based on Same Weird Family, the first in the series because I haven't gotten to talk about that one yet. It's the first fic I wrote (that you know of, lol) so while I now find parts of it a bit rough, it'll always be near and dear to me as it came about due to a visceral need to word vomit about these characters.

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I started this fic a few weeks after S2, and like many I was absolutely inspired by the absolute savagery and increasing desperation of Five in that season. From killing the board to rewinding time, Five did so much for his family that season and none of them knew about it. Plus, the season ended in a new timeline, so the "what's going to happen next?" opportunities were almost endless.

I was also deeply inspired by those who took a stab at post S2 before me, including but definitely not limited to NonLinear Theory for Dummies, The Walls Kept Tumbling Down, Creeping Towards Extinction, and Tangled in the Hanging Tree. If you haven't read these and you like my fic, you're going to love these. They are all angsty and excellent.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

I'm gonna call out Allison here, because while she didn't get a lot of focus in this fic, I think she deserves a chance to yell at her brothers more often.

“Well, if we can’t take him to the hospital-” Allison’s words returned them to the practical matters. She looked around as Diego and Luther both shook their heads at her as confirmation. Vanya looked torn but didn’t disagree. Klaus remained focused on Five. “-we’ll have to watch him. We’ll take shifts.” “Oh boy, Five’ll just love that,” Diego scoffed. “He’s unconscious. He’ll deal,” Allison pointed out, closing the discussion. She finished cleaning up Five’s injuries and straightened his clothes. “And if you guys are done with playing pissing contest,“ she gave a pointed look to both Diego and Luther, “you can help me get him upstairs to the bedroom."

5: What part was hardest to write?

Chapters 1-6 and part of 7 came at me fast and furious, but I floundered a bit trying to get through 7 and 8 to the end. I think the writing is a bit awkward and it does make me cringe a bit.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Not alternate versions so much as I did a lot of rewriting (I'm a pantser; I try to let my characters speak and sometimes they surprise me)

If you'll permit me to tag onto your ask, I'd also like to answer 3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

I spent a lot of time dissecting Five's internal emotions during this fic, trying to make sense of what drives Five - the anger and frustration and desperation that we saw on screen in S2, and beyond. I'm quite proud of some of it. Here's a snip:

“FIVE!” The shout cleaved him violently from his thoughts. Five blinked, confused, and looked up. His mind registered that his name had possibly been said more than once.  Oh, he remembered, almost absently. His siblings were pestering him.  Five sighed. All of the energy that had once fueled his rage was gone, drained away as quickly as it had spiraled up. Anger merely simmered now, rather than burned. He no longer felt dizzy, just…tired. In the clarity of hindsight, Five knew he hadn’t ever really been angry at his siblings. Annoyed, sure. Frustrated. But anger was reserved for the fact that Luther and Diego’s questions dragged things out of the little box, things that snagged and pulled at the cracks and exposed his weakness. For the memory of the light fading out of Klaus’s eyes, reaching for Five but still dead before he hit the ground. For the way that Vanya’s body crumpled like a discarded paper doll. Mostly, Five’s anger was directed at himself. For being played, and not figuring out the only possible end to the Handler’s deal until it was much too late. If he had been thinking clearly. If he only… Stop, Five. There’s no good destination down that road. “Five, we just want to help you” the soft voice said. He still didn’t care to pick out its owner. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t bear to keep listening. His siblings had died because of him. Again. And everything that happened afterwards – his survival, his thoughts, his actions – he could give them everything and still would never be enough to make it up to them. Never. 

fic ask game

[aemiron-main]

smthn interesting to me is that when will has his episodes in the upside-down in s2, we are repeatedly shown doors OPENING for him (at places like the arcade and his house when he has episodes), which is a contrast to how vecna is repeatedly shown to have closed-door imagery with his victims, not only with the boarded up doors, but even with non boarded up ones (like the creel house the night henry killed his family) trying to be opened by the victims but not budging.

but wait- where else have doors been brought to our attention in ST?

back in season 1.

“you always say we should never stop being curious. to always open any curiosity door we find. why are you keeping this curiosity door locked?”

but wait- we’ve also had them mentioned again in s3, when mr clarke is talking to Joyce.

“as I tell my students, once you open that curiosity door, anything is possible.”

but wait- where ELSE have we heard door imagery?

“keep the door open 3 inches.”

“I kept the door open 3 inches.”

where ELSE?

the door that billy bursts open in s3, that they tried to keep shut. that lucas mike and will were shown closing earlier when they saw the old dudes in the sauna, but then tried to shut billy into it later, but it burst open. this is also shown in s4 with billy behind the door again when she’s getting vecna’d.

plus all of the imagery with the DOOR of the creel house and the stained glass in s4. even during mike’s monologue, El is dying against that very creel house door, unable to open it.

I’m not sure how all those connects yet, but I am getting Suspicious. like there’s SO much imagery in s4 of people trying to open locked doors- and Nancy is the ONLY vecna’d person who succeeds, but it leads back into the tattooing room, and then she’s shown the visions by vecna.

And things like hopper’s secret knock for El on the cabin door!! And how she’s not supposed to open it unless she hears the knock!! and how El is supposed to leave the door open 3 inches specifically because of mike (mike being associated with open doors??)

AND THE FACT THAT THE SONG THAT PLAYS DURING THE LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN 3 INCHES SCENE/THE MIKE AND EL MAKEOUT SCENE STARTS WITH THE LYRICS “and just a little more time could open closing doors”.

god I haven’t quite put the pieces together yet, like I said, but there is SOMETHING here. After thinking about that “and just a little more time could open closing doors,” lyric i wonder if this door stuff ties into my time theory, considering that I’m almost certain that Will’s episode in his house and his episode in the arcade both happen at 8:15 pm (which is also the same time that will left mike’s house on the night he disappeared)- which would be when the doors open when he’s in the upside-down.

AND the promo imagery with will and the open door specifically?? But weirdly enough he’s shown OPENING it with his hand on the knob even though in the show, it opens FOR him.

[liesoverthec]

the post hasn't surfaced yet so please use this ask to talk abt the objectification of the 911 men!!

Ahh May you’re too nice but also thank you, I’m gonna 😂💛

This got. CRAZY long bc I just had a million thoughts so I’m gonna stick it under a cut.

To be honest, I think the reason they do *any* sort of objectification at all is that middle aged and older viewers are used to being able to objectify actors to a certain extent. Lord knows it happens on literally every other single piece of media, and this is a mainstream broadcast show, not an indie series or the likes, so I think they have to cater to those people as well as us, and the WAY they do it is so interesting to me bc even when they’re doing it, they use it as a way to drive home other, deeper messages.

For starters, I feel like the show OG was trying to be in the pilot and the first few episodes would have objectified the men WAY more than we see now if there hadn’t been that shift in tone - the sex addict plot could have been SO much more extended and given us a lot more opportunities to see Buck shirtless and to objectify him and his body. So I find it SO interesting that around the same time as Bobby opening up about his family and his past, we also stop w/ Buck being blatantly shirtless all the time. Narratively, it signals to me the point where the writers moved away from the the typical tv show that will treat their actors like meat, and moved more into a “female gaze” show. And then what’s really interesting to me, is that for Buck, after that, when he has sex w Taylor Kelly in s2, both times we NEVER see him undressed. The second time they don’t get very far, but he’s wearing a buttonable shirt. He absolutely could have been wearing that shirt closed, and she could have opened it, and he could have been wearing nothing underneath it, and we would have seen his chest again in a sexy scenario - but they didn’t. In fact they made the DELIBERATE choice to give him an undershirt. And of course with the first time they cut away and just left us w the understanding that sex was happening, yet again taking away an opportunity to show O.S. at least partially undressed. Which is SO different from how s1 goes about it, where we actually see Buck w his shirt open and his underwear exposed MULTIPLE times. So it’s so incredibly interesting to me that while none of the (main/regular) women’s stories are ever about sex like Buck’s is, I also think it’s REALLY interesting that the objectification of the men was, and could have been, much worse and that they didn’t have to move away from that, but they did.

But then secondly! The very last time we get into a plot that revolves around the men’s bodies specifically is in 2x01, which is SUCH an interesting plot. Surface level - it’s just about the men competing about who’s more attractive, and we get lots of muscle flexing and hot manliness to go along with it. And it is, at a surface level, incredibly shallow. But simultaneously they use it to 1. Introduce the idea that Buck wasn’t a sex addict bc he was “dealing w the stress of the job” like s1 mostly implied. It was bc he’s desperate to feel useful and wanted by someone, and at that point he really wanted that acceptance within the firehouse, rather than from other people. (Bc lbr, Abby didn’t do shit for Buck. It was Bobby, opening up and accepting the family, and specifically Buck, that gave him the connection he’d been seeking through sex.) And then 2. They also use it as an opportunity to SPECIFICALLY, IN CANON, say that it’s what you do that makes you attractive, and that makes you a hero, not how you look. Which is just!!! A crazy message!!! Especially considering they follow through on it, particularly in the areas where the women are concerned!

And in regards to 2x01, it’s soooooo fucking interesting to me that the ONLY time we really truly see Eddie shirtless, he’s actually putting clothes ON. They literally do the opposite trope of 'giving the hot male an excuse to take his shirt off'. And sure, they make it a sexy moment, but there's absolutely interesting commentary there about him actively covering himself up at the moment he is most sexualized, and it being taken as a sexy thing. Something about how you don't have to be naked to be attractive, it's about your intent in your actions, rather than your physical body. (Probably me reading too far into it, but again, they COULD have had him striping off his regular shirt, a good few seconds of him shirtless digging through a bag, and THEN the sexy slow mo pulling shirt on. At the very least, when they objectify him there, they make it MUCH shorter than they could have, which is SO DAMN INTERESTING to me).

But then finally, we still do have shirtless scenes! But the fact that it’s Chim who’s shirtless is just SO FASCINATING. Bc THE WAY THEY DO IT - they're never dunking Chim in a lake, or having something spilled on him, like other shows would do, to get his shirt clinging to him and him to whip it off in a spray of water or whatever. It's in scenes where it makes sense for him to be shirtless, and its NEVER treated like a big deal. It's just Chim, in his body, comfortably living his life. So I think the way they do it gives him more respect than other shows give their male characters, let alone their female characters 💀

And it's SO interesting to me that they use Chim (I mean, besides the fact that K.C. clearly has muscles for days and wow of course you'd use Chim). But I just think - on any other show, it would absolutely be Buck who we see casually shirtless. And that WAS almost this show, which is why we saw him shirtless at all. But failing that, it should have been Eddie. And then of course, after Eddie, it should be Bobby. I mean, plenty of other shows go for the 'sexy middle-aged white man' (cough cough LS) so Bobby would be the next logical step in the "who are we gonna make our hot man?" ladder, also - P.K. has BICEPS THAT COULD CRUSH ME so I would not blame them for making him the hot one.

But - like I said in my tags on my original post - I'm always thinking about Chim's story in 2x01 with the calendar, and feeling like he never gets to be the hero (WHICH I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW BEING THE HERO IS EQUATED THERE TO BEING THE HOT ONE, SO LIKE, CHIM BEING SHIRTLESS, SUBTLE REINFORCEMENT OF HIM BEING A HERO!) I love that for him, being the truly hot one on the team. And then you throw in his story from 2x04, and feeling like his life wasn't going anywhere and seeing him now, comfortable in his body and his life and being happy??

I wish no one had to be objectified and shirtless but I know this is broadcast tv, and honestly, the choice for it to be Chim, with his story and his background, in itself is I think a choice that makes me happy.

Of course, the show is nowhere near perfect, and I’d argue that it’s one of the areas they fall shortest in. Buck sleeping w his therapist would never have happened for a woman on this show, and it CERTAINLY wouldn’t have been brushed off again as a joke like it was in s3. And it really bothered me in 4x07 when the lady slapped Eddie’s ass, esp since he was clearly uncomfortable with it. I’d actually really enjoy seeing them write a plot for one of the men that addresses them feeling oversexualized as firefighters, and how people seem to think they have permission since the men are all public employees, bc I think the show could do it really well, and I think it’s an area that hasn’t been addressed on other shows recently (plus lbr I know I’m biased but I think OG would do it better if it has been done…)

So idk. I don’t know if I have a solid conclusion here. The show does SUCH a good job with the women, and a solidly less good job with the men - but I also see some really interesting choices at work that I really respect.

Thanks for the opportunity May, sorry if there was no coherent thread to this. 😂🤷‍♀️

[rinharu-purple]

Gavin with the Black Queen- An encounter that never happened

SPOILER ALERT!!! DUH! ^_^

One thing keeps bothering me ever since the Black Queen has ceased to exist (as of March 2021). She had various interactions with the other Lis, including Shaw, and yet she was in the same room with Gavin only for a brief moment and neither of them has truly realized the other’s presence. Why was that? Why did PG deliberately refrained from bringing those together? The answer might hide in the behind the curtain chapter.

Behind the curtain final part

Kicking off things with a memory refresh. CH5 of behind the curtain event revolves around the final moments of MC in the black cabin before making her decision and revisiting the piano concert as well as the infinite future era. There, the NW troops under the command of NW717 (Gavin from Infinite Future) enter the venue the BQ was in and cause mayhem by destroying everything in his way “I will destroy all of this!”. MC doesn’t face Gavin, but still got injured by his cutting currents of wind, unable to avoid him completely. 

This encounter happens only in the background. The BQ knows that Gavin is there, but Gavin doesn’t see her. They don’t look each other in the eye, they don’t exchange words. Just a cut on BQs cheek.

This remark at the end is crucial, because the BQ only says this after Gavin’s left the venue. Meaning from this moment on, there is only one future possible. Does that mean a different future would’ve been possible if Gavin hadn’t left? I guess we won’t ever find out.

BlackQueenxNW717 vs. MCxGavin

Another aspect to this question could also be that the only time BQ and Gavin were in the same venue was when the Black Queen already has lost her faith in humanity and Gavin has spend his youth without MC, under the shadow of his father. In a way, the two versions of them meeting at this point are their alternate personalities, which came to be because those two had never met. In my opinion, this is the strongest reason for why PG didn’t put Gavin and the BQ in the same narrative. Black Queen only exists in a world, where she never meets Gavin and Gavin only chooses to join his father after high school because he never gets to know MC’s kindness. The strong bond between them which keeps their faith was never created.

In that case, those who meet in chapter 21 were actually a lost Gavin and a lost MC in the void, because they have never met and therefore weren’t there to catch each other when one of them was falling like they always do in our original timeline.  They have both crashed and scattered into pieces, thus broken. We know for a thing that the BQ is lost because she says this in CH18

See the words she is using? Love and FAITH. Remember CH15... Name of FAITH. Exactly... MC and Gavin would be lost if they didn't have love and faith. Also during the Daybreak Era and Dream edge Gavin is without love and faith, He is in a completely different sprite and mental state then the Gavin we know, love and worship.

Papergames actually put a very subtle comparison to this phenomenon by showing in CH 22 how the dynamic of Gavin and MC works even if only one of them is their original self. In CH 22, MC meets NW717, who has never met MC during high school and yet she succeeds in bringing out the original Gavin hidden deep inside him, at least in fragments, hence preventing a greater destruction or even worse Gavin’s demise (he is utmost self-destructive in this chapter). 

Gavin and MC always manage to bring the best out of each other so if this had happened in the case of MCxNW717, then we can safely assume that this could’ve ended the same way in a GavinxBlackQueen encounter. 

Needless to say, it wouldn’t have been convenient for the plot, so the PG obviously didn’t take this route and it only exists in my head ^_^

Chapter 18: Gavin’s Route?

Taking this into consideration, let’s take a moment to imagine how would CH18 have gone, if it was Gavin accompanying MC instead of Victor in their last stance in the quarantine zone. Let’s assume Gavin didn’t know about the existence of the BQ up to this point, just like Victor, and there she was abruptly standing in front of him. Surely he would be appalled at first, but then he would show her the MC, he has always known, the MC he has always believed in and the MC she genuinely is. I don’t believe that Gavin would reject her identity as the MC like Victor did, because her eyes are different. On the contrary, I believe Gavin would say that he still knows that she is the girl he knows, because he can see it in her eyes. I think that Gavin would accept the fact that MC and the BQ were the same person and therefore would give everything in his might to save her, to save them both, without having to sacrifice any of them. There is no way on earth Gavin could’ve stabbed MC in the heart. Nothing could have ever convinced him that there wasn’t any other way. On a side note, I also don’t think killing her was really the only way and maybe not taking Gavin into consideration was Victor’s flaw in his plan. 

Did MC really had to die? What would’ve happened if after MC and BQs union, MC’s mind has prevailed and both of them stayed in the same body? Thus melting two timelines together? If Gavin was there, then I think that would’ve been the case and I also think that the BQ also knew that. Which is why she deliberately avoided Gavin because he was her weak spot. Gavin would have never killed any of them. It wouldn’t have mattered to him what words had came out of BQs mouth. For him she still would’ve been “his girl”. Plus, Gavin is a person, who has faith in the good heart in everyone. Therefore his choice of action would be to fight for the MC in BQs heart. Remember, these two young women are the one and the same person with different experiences from different timelines.

In CH 18 the BQ even goes to the lengths of using Gavin to lure MC to her side:

It is really uncanny how almost everyone constantly use Gavin and MC against each other. Even the BQ shows Gavin annihilating Perry to convince MC to merge with her. It has happened at least for 6-7 times until now that people use their relationship for their end.

Final battle

In CH 36, when MC and the Black Queen have one last battle did you realize that every single LI is present except for Gavin? Kiro/Helios is there and bravely takes her on directly, Lucien is present with MC, Victor joins the group and even turns back time to allow MC to recuperate. What does Gavin do during this you may ask? He is trying to control the situation in the city as Commander of STF. Again, Gavin and Black Queen don't meet, because Gavin has the duty of saving the world from the other end and ensure the safety of Loveland citizens.

To sum this analysis up, I think there was a purpose for PG keeping Gavin and the Black Queen separate in S1, because Gavin would be the greatest threat to her existence. We see at the end that it was MCs persuasion that has led to BlackQueen leaving voluntarily. At the end she's also decided to believe in her and in the power of love (as cliché as it sounds). So in my opinion, Gavin could've persuaded her way way earlier and we couldn't have enjoyed 37 chapters of angst, drama and romance ;) I would still love to watch them interact with each other and see how the whole thing would unfold. Who knows, maybe she makes a comeback in S2 and perhaps their ways collide this time around.

Masterlist

[lover-of-queens]

Farah Dowling is Alive Part 2

The follow up to Part 1 or as I like to call it: look mom, I told you this degree would have uses in the real world! 

If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, you can find Part 1: Here 

You know the drill, under the cut cause this is probably going to get long!

Episode 4: Some Wrecked Angel

Episode opens with our favourite trio. If you’ve read the first part then you’ll be familiar with my argument that it could be possible the writers are leaving Farah x Saul threads to pick up at a later date. I think this scene has some interesting ones. There’s a lot of effort in this scene to set Farah and Saul up as parallels - in a way that also makes them stand apart from Ben. We have them saying his name together, but also, when they discover Callum’s body, both Farah and Saul are in sync as they move into a kneeling position. 

I don’t necessarily know if this could be considered an argument for them bringing Farah back, however, in the scene with Farah, Stella and Luna, Stella brings up an interesting point about Farah’s pedagogy. We’re told that Farah chooses care and time over “solely results” when it comes to teaching. In the next episode we learn Rosalind’s own teaching style involves putting her students “through hell”. I don’t necessarily know when the change will happen but given this, I don’t see any way Rosalind can remain Headmistress, especially when they’re taking pains to show Farah as better suited for the role.

Also important in this scene is Farah and Luna’s last exchange. We know what appearances Luna has helped Farah maintain - the barrier/illusion that stops Aster Dell from being seen. So, what’s interesting is Farah’s next line:

Farah: “Yes, we’ve both done a great deal to preserve Solaria’s reputation.” 

This does not get addressed during the remaining episodes. Personally, this line and the amount of tension between Farah and Luna also strikes me as a potential thread that could be picked up later. I’m going to wager that I’m not alone in wanting to know what exactly they did to “preserve” Solaria’s rep. And my guess is, because Brian has mentioned that they’re going to expand on the winx world, we’re going to be finding out more about Solaria in S2. Theoretically, I suppose whatever event that is being referenced here could be dealt with without Farah on screen, but then we’d miss out on all the fun tension! Also, as of right now, fan response to Luna is nothing compared to Farah (at least from what I’ve seen). 

Tattoo theory, several people have already spoken on this and I don’t want to speak over them. I’m still sorting out my own thoughts on whether it’s Farah’s or Eve’s but I will say that Farah is always wearing rings so it seems to me that if they wanted it covered they could easily do it with a ring (or makeup). If the tattoo is purposely put there then I’m going to assume its for a reason that the writers may want to deal with at a later date (hint, hint: bring back Farah). 

Episode 5: Wither Into the Truth

I may do another post on this at some point if I can find enough to say to warrant it but Farah’s eye colour when she does magic. Up until now every time Farah’s done magic her eyes have glowed blue and yet in the scene where she questions Beatrix they glow light orange. Now I’d always assumed that the colour of the glow = element, which was why I didn’t know why Farah’s glowed blue to begin with; she’s a mind fairy so I would have expected the purple that Musa has. And actually the confirmation of her being a mind fairy comes from Fate’s IG page shown below, I don’t know if it’s ever explicitly stated in the show? Further, to my knowledge, Farah is the only fairy we’ve seen whose eyes glow different colours. So, a thread to pick up in season 2, perhaps? 

Also I’m very interested in the use of the word “Once”. In this instance I would almost take it to mean ‘no longer is’ but the tense is present perfect (I think?) which can suggest the continuance of an action. But now I’m being overly nitpicky and technical. Also I don’t know how ‘principle’ made it through what I’m assuming are several stages before making it onto IG, but it gave me a laugh!

“Incredibly powerful” yet loses to Rosalind without a fight? Not buying it. Additionally, the use of “other forms of magic” is interesting and I figure could be taken to mean other elements. But I wonder if there’s more to it than just that. Farah shows knowledge of archaic Fairy Magic with the Nettle Amalgam, so maybe there’s more archaic knowledge out there that she knows ... that could prove helpful. 

Now, back to the episode. When Farah and Hologram Luna are talking, the fact that there are two burned ones travelling together is cause for concern. 

Farah: “There are two of them travelling together. That hasn’t happened since … In a long time.” 

Once again we are left with a thread of something that has happened. In the same IG post as above, in the section for Saul, it mentions that he and Farah became confidants “after experiencing the Black Woods Massacre”. I wonder if that could be what Farah’s referring to here? I know the massacre has come up once or twice in conversation and correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t believe it’s ever been properly explained? To me, it looks like a great bit of backstory to get into at a later date. It may not confirm Farah being alive necessarily, but you could take it as a sign that we might see Eve again. 

Lastly, for this episode, is the scene between Farah and Bloom. Specifically this part: 

Farah: “I will help you get the answers you need. I give you my word.” 

You can probably guess what I’m going to say at this point, a thread that can be picked up in season 2! You could counterargue that Rosalind could help Bloom with answers (as she offers in the next episode) but in my humble opinion, I don’t think it would offer narrative satisfaction. First, because we’ve been shown what a terrible mentor Rosalind is. Second, they’ve spent the first season showing how Farah and Bloom’s mentor-student relationship has developed (bloomed?) so it seems a waste to go through all of that development for nothing. 

Episode 6: A Fanatic Heart

Rosalind has her little prison break. Personally, I still think there’s a lot of unanswered questions about what happened after Aster Dell, how they imprisoned Rosalind, etc. And I do hope that we get some answers in Season 2 - again these answers may not necessarily involve Farah on the screen but as every writer gets told the age old advice of “show, don’t tell”, I think there’s potential for that. 

Farah immediately tries to disprove my points about her intelligence by wandering alone in the woods at night. But she’s pretty, so I’ll allow it. 

Rosalind gives Bloom some answers but not all, so I do think that my point above about Farah helping Bloom find more answers still stands. Further, I find the Farah is Bloom’s mother theory to be unlikely for several reasons (this is not the post for them) but I do want to draw our attention to several lines of dialogue here. 

Bloom: “You hid me from Miss Dowling.” ….

Rosalind: “The guidance you needed was love. Farah couldn’t give that to you. Vanessa and Michael could.” 

There are SO many reasons why this exchange is fascinating. I’m interested in why Bloom brings up Farah to begin with - her other points could stand alone to the same affect. I’m also really interested in the direct comparison between Farah and Bloom’s adoptive parents -- if Bloom hadn’t gone to them, she would have gone to Farah? It almost seems as though the direct comparison implies that. Also, considering Bloom’s relationship with her adoptive parents, I really doubt the validity of the statement. Plus, I wouldn’t trust Rosalind’s idea of love in general. 

Also, Rosalind is just so certain that Farah couldn’t love Bloom … can’t love in general? There’s just so much of Farah and Rosalind’s relationship that hasn’t been explored that I think really needs to be. 

Now, the scene that always makes me cry! Farah and Bloom have had a difficult time this season and it’s all lead up to this moment of trust and vulnerability - on both sides. If you ask me, this season has been setting Farah up to be the mentor figure that Rosalind was not - Rosalind’s opposite. And they’ve worked hard at it, even when they were trying to convince us Farah might be the evil one which like lmao. I find it hard to believe that they would go through all of that work just to discard it by leaving Farah dead. Especially because what Farah admits to Bloom in this sequence feels like a changing moment for her - she recognizes things she wishes she would have done differently (being less of a figurehead, being more open) and I think its only fair that Fate allows her to follow through on those things. 

And onto the scene that I really don’t want to rewatch but I’m going to do it for y’all. I’ve touched on Farah x Saul moments so it’s only fair that I touch on Farah x Rosalind ones. There is tension here (looking at each other’s lips, Rosalind getting closer to Farah, Farah grabbing her), I mean the cast has joked about shipping them. But there are several different ways to read this and you are more than welcome to your pick! It doesn’t really change my point, which is … thread to pick up in season 2? Have you started taking a shot every time I’ve said that (please don’t <3). 

Farah who has shown herself to be incredibly intelligent and cautious when it comes to Rosalind turns her back on her. And we get what is probably the most important piece of evidence: the eye glow. It can mean absolutely anything, but I’d wager one of the reasons its there is to have people do exactly what I’m doing here. Theorizing about whether Farah could still be alive. I’m going to take that as a sign there’s hope (mainly because I think it would be cruel to suggest a ‘could she come back narrative’ and then … not have her come back). Also, in the Fate novel, it describes Farah’s death as “too easy”. I absolutely refuse to believe that it could be easy to kill Farah when she’s proved time and time again how powerful she is. 

That finishes my episode by episode analysis. It totals well over 2500 words. If you can believe me, I still have more to say on this topic (discussing general counterarguments and possible logistics of Eve’s filming), so stay tuned for a Part 3?

[wingsofthewibbets]

Hello I Made A Playlist

It is specifically for the vibes of the Calamity Trio! Also, I feel like contributing to fandom, so I tried to explain why I felt each song gave off the ~Vibe~. Apologies for the length of this monstrosity. It’s on Youtube and Spotify, but there is a song on Youtube I used that was unavailable on Spotify. It’s in no particular order, although maybe I’ll organize it one day.

~‘California Friends’ (The Regrettes)- Generally the fun upbeat vibe of the song, but also these specific lyrics make me think of Anne’s :

     I think I love you but then I think

     No way!

     I gotta go but I wanna stay

    Just stay!

    I guess I’ll save it for another day, well okay?

As well as:

     I get mixed up in my head, you do too

     But I don’t forget a thing you’ve said

     Well that’s true

I think the lyrics definitely give me more Anne/Marcy vibes, but the music itself makes me think of Sasha getting them into trouble. There’s some big garage band energy here, and it just makes me think of them running around and causing chaos. (also the ‘i gotta go but i wanna stay/just stay’ definitely reminds me of the end of the aquarium episode)

~’The Archer’ (Taylor Swift)- Oh man this song where do I even start?? There is so much?? (I know I’ve already talked about this one, but Imma do it again) I was listening to this song one day and the lyrics hit me so hard as reminding me of all the girls, specifically:

For Anne:

    Combat, I’m ready for combat

    I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?

    ‘Cause cruelty wins in the movies

    I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory, but this seriously makes me think of her relationship with Sasha -or the shambles of it anyway oof- and the speeches line just makes me there’s so much that she doesn’t tell her friends about what’s running through her head. 

Anne’s an emotional person to be sure, but she’s also a very impulsive one, which means a lot of times, what people get from her is the unedited, unreflected version of her thoughts, which don’t make them any less true, but that also means that she’s probably a little more reticent with the deeper ideals that don’t get unearthed through dramatic moments. She just does things a lot of the time, and when she gets stuck on something, it is kinda obvious from the outside, but she also gets uncomfortable with trying to talk about it, because there is no clear solution she can enact in the moment to resolve it.

For Sasha:

    Screaming who could ever leave me, darling?

    But who could stay?

    I see right through me, I see through me

As well as the repetition of ‘they see right through me/can you see right through me’, these lines give me huge Sasha vibes, specifically. I think of them kind of especially applicable to the Reunion episode, but also just how there were a couple scenes where she seemed to be regretting hiding from her friends the toad rebellion that was going to take place in Newtopia, and that conversation Anne and Sasha have in The Third Temple. I don’t think she ever considered regretting the rebellion at all, but I do think she worried over what it might do to her friendships. 

The end of Reunion was heartbreaking, for both Anne and Sasha, because if the Plantars had been able to pull both girls up, I think there would have been more opportunity for Sasha and Anne to have a better reconciliation. (i think this about this a lot ngl) And, also because she was willing to die for Anne??? I don’t think that gets discussed enough. That episode has big ‘who could ever leave me’ at the beginning, and then at the end ‘who could stay’ vibes. 

For Marcy:

    And all of my heroes die alone (OOF)

As well as

     All the king’s horses, all the king’s men

     Couldn’t put me together again

     ‘Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Ahahaha this is the ANGST. So. I mean, obviously the king’s horses part makes me think of the ending of True Colors, and I don’t think that Marcy considers Sasha and Anne to be her enemies by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t think that Andrias is above manipulating her to think that they think of her that way. (Also the line ‘cause all of my enemies started out friends’ line is very applicable to Anne and Sasha as well, it just happened to be part of the lines that made me think of Marcy) Plus sticking around the king and whatever the heck he has in store for her will definitely not put her back together sooo-

The ‘help me hold onto you’ and the ‘I’ve been the archer/I’ve been the prey’ just apply to all of them (for the former, think Sasha and Anne in Reunion, the way Marcy tried to mediate in The Dinner, and just True Colors in general; for the latter, it makes me think of the sword-fights between Anne and Sasha, as well as how Marcy once believed that Andrias actually cared about her). The ‘Dark side, I search for your dark side/But what if I’m alright, right, right, right here’ make me think of how Anne is going to be reevaluating her friendships with both Sasha and Marcy, as well as how all of them seemed to grow into the Amphibia communities that they landed in and what they are going to struggle with leaving behind.

I had this song on loop for way too long trying to word my feelings out about it.

~’Soldier, Poet, King’ (Oh Hellos)- This song is just so absolutely perfect for the three girls. I’d like to take the time to state that I think Sasha fits soldier, Marcy poet, and Anne king, but what are y’all’s thoughts? 

     There will come a soldier/Who carries a mighty sword

     He will tear your city down

Big Sasha vibes, fits with what’s she done so far in the show, as well as how she’s being set up for the third season to be a hero (whose intentions somewhat align with the consequences of her actions).

    There will come a poet/Whose weapon is his word

    He will slay you with his tongue

Marcy spends a lot of time journaling, and she even takes the time to learn a dead language! She seems rather skilled with more traditional weaponry, but her biggest boon is her intelligence and her quick-thinking. I also think that if she does end up getting possessed by the Night, its words being spoken by Marcy’s voice is absolutely going to SLAUGHTER Anne and Sasha.

     There will come a ruler/Whose brow is laid in thorn

     Smeared with oil like David’s boy

Apart from the fact that Anne literally has plants growing from her head in the S2 finale, she is also a charismatic leader who has made connections all over Amphibia. She genuinely cares about the people around her, and takes the time to get to know them and spend time with them. Also, a lot of times, she is underestimated and seen as the David to her opponent’s Goliath- whether that be physically or in skillset.

~’Someone To You’ (The Banners)- No specific lyrics here, but the general vibe of the song. There is a sort of desperation that seems to permeate it, as though if the narrator isn’t someone to the person they are singing to, they will be nobody at all, and I think that is very much how all of the girls view their friendship, at least at first. 

Marcy gets the music box thing going because she doesn’t want to be alone; Sasha is desperate to have Anne, and she wants so much for both Anne and Marcy to look up to her as someone who is strong and present. I think for Anne, we kinda see this song in the speech she gives to Sprig in Best Fronds when she’s trying to get him to break the rules with her, but also in how she is open to reconciling with Sasha in The Dinner and giving her a second chance. Mainly, though, what I associate with Anne for this song are the scenes where she reunites with Marcy and Sasha for the first time. The spinning hug she gives Sasha, and how tightly she hugs Marcy with tears in her eyes- she really does love and care about these girls.

They all cling to this friendship so much, in different ways, both healthy and unhealthy, and I think this song really captures that.

~’Lost Girls’ (Lindsey Stirling)- This song is mostly instrumental, so again, no specific lyrics here, but there is a very deep, melancholic feel to this song. It gets kinda fast-paced at some points, and reminds me of the ending of True Colors, with Anne and Sasha and Marcy separated. There is so much space- literal and internal- between all of them now, and I think this song does a really great job of getting Those Feels across. They aren’t just lost to each other, they are also struggling with battles inside of themselves.

But the lyrics that are in this song, (lol I just said I wouldn’t mention them whoops) ‘Lost girls find a way’, are sung, the music played after them that plays remind me that, like Matt Braly said, sometimes things have to be broken to be fixed again. They can find a way. It’s not a happy song to be sure, but there’s a quiet strength and determination in it.

~’Long Live’ (Taylor Swift)- I could cite specific lyrics here, but this song has just always given me epilogue-end-of-the-battle scenes, where we get to see everyone exhausted, but happy and most importantly together. This song is what I’m hoping the future gets to be for Marcy, Anne, and Sasha; happy about their present together, being able to heal despite the past, and accepting that even if they aren’t together forever in the future, that doesn’t mean they weren’t important to one another.

~’Torches’ (Oh Hellos)- ‘Torches’, on the complete opposite hand to ‘Long Live’, kind of represents where the girls are right now with one another. 

Despite keeping that old wheel turning, despite laying that next spoke down (yes these are direct lyric references), they are also continuing to make mistakes with one another.

    I got a venom like a snake running out of my mouth

    (Running out of my mouth, running out of my mouth)

    It’s got you burning at the stake

    Innocent or not, you’re not a bet I care to take

 And, yet, somehow, they keep being led back to one another. They are more alike than they think, and even if they get back to Earth, they will still be bound by the mutual experiences they had on Amphibia, that no one else is likely to ever understand. The ways they misunderstand one another and don’t communicate cleave them apart, but also together, in a way. 

    And Father Ignorance will make brothers of us all

   (Brothers of us all, brothers of us all)

    As he sets our torch aflame

    Chasing down the flimsy specters that we pro-create

As well as 

    Mother Fortuna, O, she makes sisters of us all

    (Sisters of us all, sisters of us all)

   When the faces in her wake

    Look more like our own than the effigies that we immolate

~’Castle On The Hill’ (Ed Sheeran)- Purely just the vibes. Nothing super deep, just makes me think of how Anne, Sasha, and Marcy are going to look back on their friendships and their time together. 

~’Trouble’ (Valerie Broussard)- Though I will forever associate this song with Six of Crows thanks to a fabulous animatic, I will say that it also makes me think of the darker tone that Season 3 might take on, and how each girl is poised to take on a different problem. I see it as a very Sasha song (especially ‘I’m your Number Two man in a fight/We are revolutionaries tonight’), but all three of them tend to lead a trail of chaos in their wake. (Also the vibes here are impeccable)

~’Time Alive’ (K.C Katalbas)- (not on Spotify, definitely recommend checking it out) This song just has that perfectly nostalgic, yet aspirational feel to it. It is hopeful, yet it it has its own sort of weight. It pairs nicely with ‘Long Live’ and ‘Castle On The Hill’, in a way, I think. It makes me think of what the future could be for the girls, once again, and how even if something is bittersweet, you are still allowed to be hopeful. Mostly, it makes me think of each girl reflecting about one another, and the time they spent together. 

    And this is your life, every plan has a right to fall

    And this is your heart, through the dark it’s the loudest call

    And this is breathing

    And seeing her go

~’Try’ (The Lightning Thief)- True Color battle against Andrias vibes! And Season 3 vibes! A lot of these lyrics are kind of specific to Annabeth, Percy, and Grover’s characters, but I also think the general feel of this song is very applicable to Anne, Sasha, and Marcy. Particularly, I am reminded of how Sasha and Anne will be feeling about Marcy.

    I may fail you

   I may fail you

    I may fail you, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t try

And

    I’m not leaving your side til we find what matters

   I’m not leaving your side til we’re back home

   I’m not leaving your side til you’re remembered

   No matter how far we have to go

As well as probably the guilt that Marcy was feeling during True Colors:

   Two thousand four hundred forty eight reasons I have to come along

   Wash my hands of past mistakes

As well as

    The weight of the world’s on my shoulders

    Like Atlas, it’s crushing me down

    We’re not brave, we’re not strong, we’re not soldiers

And how could I forget?

    L.A doesn’t seem so far away…

~’Drive It Like You Stole It’ (Sing Street)- Again, like ‘Trouble’, but a little softer. If ‘Trouble’ has Sasha vibes, this one makes me think of Anne, but it also has a similar line to ‘Time Alive’- this is your life. For the most part of Amphibia, I think the girls focussed a lot on fitting in and adapting to their surroundings, but I think Season 3 is really going to see them owning who they are and taking it upon themselves to enact change. 

It also just makes me think of them messing around and being kids, trying to figure out who they are. It’s like, if they ever make it back to Earth in one piece and stay friends, but still manage to get into shenanigans.

~’What’s Up Danger’ (Blackway, Black Caviar)- local newt king gets mauled by three newly empowered thirteen-year olds

~’How Far We’ve Come’ (Matchbox Twenty)- This one is a classic. No playlist of mine is worth its salt if it doesn’t have this song here. It has the ~vibes~ of pre-last battle energy, and also I can definitely see Sasha and the Sharps playing it at some point. 

Alternately, this also makes me think of Anne, Sasha, and Marcy finally going home together or reuniting properly after the end of True Colors. Lots of angst either way.

~’We Are Young’ (fun.)- What I picture with this: Anne, Sasha, and Marcy are not entirely reconciled with one another yet, but it’s the night before the last battle or somethin’, and they still care about one another a lot. This has that energy. They’re just kids, but they’ll be damned if they don’t go out without a fight, and without standing by one another’s sides. 

(and marcy found someone(s) to carry her home nanananananana)

Slightly more uplifting(?) than ‘How Far We’ve Come’, but similar energy, I think.

~’Pump It’ (Black Eyed Peas)- three local teenagers get pumped to cause problems on purpose; montage time. I have no justification for this song, only that it has the vibes of Sasha and Anne’s relentless energy and the confidence of Marcy swinging down on a rope she doesn’t know will actually hold her weight. 

~’Disaster Hearts’ (I Fight Dragons)- I feel like this song is the definition of Matt’s tweet about how some things have to be broken to be fixed. It has vibes of the aftermath of a battle, and opening the door to reconciliation and forgiveness. Amphibia has tied these girls together, for better or worse, and I think there is room for them to become better friends and mend their relationships.

    Disaster has a way of remaking our hearts

    Long after all the thunder and scars

    Days pass and bit by bit we begin to restart

    Our disaster hearts

~’Thus Always To Tyrants’ (Oh Hellos)- It makes me think of where Anne and Sasha are left at the end of Reunion, but also in how Anne wants to find Marcy now that she know she’s definitely out there. The sound of the song gives me huge Marcy vibes, with how it does seem to be almost cheerful? The very last line makes me think a lot about Sasha (‘Learn to love without consuming’), but I think a lot of the song is applicable to all the girls in different situations. 

[k-s-morgan]

Hi :)) don’t know if you’ve talked about this before but when you first watched Hannibal, what was the episode that made you realize that it was a love story between Will and Hannibal? when did you know Hannibal was in love with Will and vice-versa? Was there a scene or episode in particular? I love hearing people’s versions of the moments when they realized that

Hi! I’m afraid my story is boring in this regard because when I started watching the show, I already knew it was going to be a love story. I always research everything I intend to watch or read very thoroughly, and since I joined the fandom at the start of 2016, the show was already over and spoilers were everywhere. 

However, I still thought this was going to be queerbaiting. I imagined something like John and Sherlock, so every intimate moment between Will and Hannibal gave me a thrill. I felt that electricity from the scene of their breakfast because Hannibal was looking at Will in such an infatuated way, I was amazed. Every textual confirmation and the fact that the entire show is a love story became shocking and pleasing realization. I recognized that romance was actually the major plot in the middle of S2 - their mutual feelings became obvious by then, in my opinion. Will failing to shoot Hannibal in the kitchen and Hannibal planning everything around Will spoke volumes of what they are experiencing. 

You can a Reddit thread with some discussions about your question here. I also once made a post about people’s reactions when S1 was just airing. I’ll copy bits from it here if you’re interested because I agree that seeing others’ thoughts is fun!

The shipping was very varied at that time - you could easily find Hannibal/Alana and Will/Alana fans. Some were making bets on Hannibal/Bedelia since Bryan mentioned Hannibal getting a love interest in S2. Hannigram was there from the beginning, too - in fact, as it’s evident from Bryan’s pre-S1 teasing tweet, some people were hoping for some Hannigram content even before seeing a single episode. One of the promos for the show presented after the pilot entailed Hannibal sniffing Will: some people caught on onto what was happening at that point already. But no one really took it very seriously, and people’s opinions differed.

Some were swooning over Will with Alana, calling it an amazing exploration of a relationship between two mature people. Others expressed hopes that Hannibal would try to get closer to Alana to mess with Will. Some were excited to see Hannibal touching Will’s shoulder in E9 and expressing the desire to be a family with him and Abigail. A bit of discussion from those times I saved out of amusement:

Commenter 1: I thought that whole scene had a homoerotic feel to it.

Commenter 2: Gay dads. Gay dads.

Commenter 3: I thought that whole show had a homoerotic feel to it.

Commenter 4: I feel like Hannibal is sexually attracted to Will, but I might be making too many leaps here…

Commenter 5: I don’t think he is sexually attracted to Will. I get the sense that he is only sexually attracted to himself. As a pure narcissist, I don’t think he is capable of feeling attracted to another person, regardless of gender.I think his attachment to Will is based on the fact that somebody can finally understand him. I think he legitimately see’s Will as a friend.

Commenter 6: It’s great to see more of Hannibal with his own psychiatrist. The fact that he seems to genuinely want a friendship with Will seems so touching. His reaction when Will came over to his house to tell him he’d kissed Alana was priceless and almost showed a hint of jealousy (but maybe I’m reading too much into that).

Some stuff about Will and Alana:

Commenter 1:  I am so loving everything happening between Will and Alana. To have characters talk out their issues despite sexual tension, and hold off on a relationship because of them… it feels almost revolutionary in today’s television landscape.

Commenter 2: A romantic relationship would weigh down the show. They really don’t have time to get invested in that. It’s pretty obvious from an outsider’s POV that there’s a Will/Alana attraction going on, and to not acknowledge it would in some ways actually draw more attention TO it. My guess is they’re setting something up for season 2 or 3 (if we get them).

Commenter 3: At the rate he’s going, by season three Will’s going to be drooling in a mental hospital somewhere.

Commenter 4: I’m pretty glad the whole Will/Alana thing was a bust. She’s right about them being bad for each other, and I feel that if they did get into a relationship, that drama would just distract from the story. Plus Will is such a tragic character, a relationship would normalise him too much.

Mads already said he plays Hannibal as in love with Will at that point, so some took it into consideration while others ignored it. 

And here you can read discussions of all episodes as they were airing. I think the quotes I provided above are from there as well.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Missed Opportunities in 400 Days

Hey, remember when TWDG Season One ended and we were a group of emotional messes? Remember when Season Two was announced and we were gonna get a DLC to bridge S1 and S2 together and we were extra excited for everything to come? Because I do. 

To be fair, I truly did enjoy 400 Days when it first came out years ago, and it’s not like I hate it now or anything... I just can’t help but look at it and see wasted potential on every level-- the characters and their development, the stories, the impact our choices made for the future...

The concept of 400 Days-- a collection of stories that follow different protagonists and the situations they find themselves in within the zombie apocalypse that eventually connect to one another-- is a great one. I love the idea of mini-episodes that are all connected, and one choice you made in one episode affects the next episode you play... so what happened? Why does it fall flat now when we look back on it?

Well, a major reason for me is the fact that all four seasons of the main game are complete. When 400 Days came out, we didn’t have S2, so we didn’t know what our choices meant. That lead to us theorizing about what would happen if we got everyone to go with Tavia, or what would happen if no one but Bonnie went. Why was Bonnie the only one who agrees no matter what? What could that mean?

And we have those answers now, and it’s a let down... especially when it could’ve been so much better. That’s what I wanna talk about today. I wanna talk about what I think are the biggest missed opportunities in 400 Days. 

5. Giving Shel and her dumb sister actual personalities

Of all the stories you can play in 400 Days, Shel’s episode is probably the worst due to the fact that she and her dumb sister lack any memorable qualities or personalities.... which is such a shame because this story also has one of the more interesting moral dilemma’s. 

In this story, you play as Shel who is surviving in the diner/gas station with a group that consists of some of the cancer patients from S1. Remember them? They were with Vernon and helped him steal out boat? Yeah, they got away and apparently Vernon died and the group feel apart over the damn boat, but you don’t get much more than that. 

Shel has this dumb sister who I can’t be bothered to remember her name because she’s that bland. Her sister is basically Shel’s personality. Take away her sister, and you’re left with nothing. 

They’re going for the “Oh man, I don’t know what this world is doing to my dumb sister, it’s changing her, I don’t want her to have to do things like murder, I want her to have a normal childhood,” but that falls flat when they don’t give me a reason to care about them in the first place. 

Like I said, the moral dilemma for this one IS interesting-- They catch someone who tried to steal from them. The man is injured pretty bad, and he can’t speak English, so there is no way for them to communicate with him. Roman, the dude who acts as the leader of our group, says that they can’t keep him here but they can’t send him back out there... and that means killing him. 

So what do you do? Do you risk it by giving this man a second chance, give him some food and send him on his way and hope he doesn’t come back and do more harm? Or do you kill this man so that there is no risk in him coming back to do harm? 

And you as Shel are the swing vote. That’s not an easy choice to make, plus you gotta think about how that choice is gonna affect your dumb sister?

Except it doesn’t really matter.... at all. No matter what you do, Roman still cracks down and wants to murder another member of the group who tries to escape, Shel’s dumb sister is still a brat who talks big but never does anything, and Shel is still a stale piece of white bread. 

If they wanted us to care, then give Shel something other than her sister. Maybe they could’ve had her be someone who doesn’t really have a backbone, she tries to avoid conflict and is intimidated by Roman, she doesn’t speak up even when she should, and then her dumb sister could be the opposite-- Loud, take charge, wants to get more involved with protecting the group, isn’t afraid to stand up to Roman which causes him to take her under his wing and wanna turn her into a murder baby... which Shel definitely doesn’t want so what could she do to keep her dumb sister away from him? 

If they wanted to tell the story of a woman worried her sister is going to grow up cold and ruthless because of the world around her, then tell that story. Show us that story, show us what happens when you agree to kill the man and now her dumb sister genuinely believes that murder is an easy solution to their problems, so when it comes to the woman who escaped, the dumb sister volunteers to kill her and Roman lets her... and you as Shel gotta decide if you wanna fight that by running away or just let it happen. 

I dunno man, but Shel’s story is my least favorite of the bunch because I have no reason to care about either of them, and that’s a waste. 

4. Nate’s a shithead so they should’ve used him more

Well, hello again, Nate... we meet once more here on T5F. 

So yeah, I’ve talked about this crazy bastard on a previous list about characters no one likes, so you’re probably wondering why I’m saying that he should’ve been around more.

That’s the thing, I hate Nate. He’s gross, he’s brutal, and he’s uncomfortable with those crazy eyes of his... but he would’ve made for a fun antagonist in more of 400 Days, as well as in S2. 

Depending on what episode you play first, Nate can either first appear in Wyatt’s story, or Russell’s. In Wyatt’s story, Nate is chasing down him and Eddie after Eddie accidentally killed a guy who was with Nate, and Nate here is chasing them down for some revenge. He eventually finds them, and who ever is left in the car as no choice but to flee, leaving the other behind. 

Nate plays a more active part in Russell’s story, picking him off the highway and chatting with him on the way to the diner/gas station, and y’know how Shel has no personality? Well, I think I know where all the personality went because Nate’s got quite a bit of it. He’s one of the more memorable parts of 400 Days for a reason. He has a weird charisma about him, but then he starts talkin’ gross and almost gets Russell’s face eaten off by a walker and you get the idea that this man isn’t quite right, y’know?

Then we make it to the diner/gas station where they get shot at, and Nate insists on finishing this... as in, let’s go in and shoot whoever is shooting us. They sneak in, and the old man there says Nate is back to finish the job... which isn’t great. Nate acts like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but then suggests they kill the old couple using a line from the story Russell told her.... y’know, the story that’s kinda triggering for Russell. 

At this point, Russell can either tell Nate off and leave, or he can stay where Nate will kill the couple right in front of him and claim that Russell is his boy and it is not great.

We know that either way, Russell gets away from Nate. We never see him again so he could be dead, turned, or alive. All I can think about is the fact that they created the beginnings of a compelling antagonist who could’ve bled over into S2 at Howe’s or even afterward. Like if we showed up at Howe’s and were locked up, only to find Nate locked up with us. Or maybe instead of Arvo, Nate could’ve been the one who stumbled upon Clementine and Jane and was overpowered and threatened by them... only for him to stalk them and confront them about what happened. 

Either way, there was a missed opportunity to do more with Nate. 

3. Focusing on the wrong things within Bonnie’s story

Alright, everyone’s favorite: Bonnie. 

Bonnie is the only character in 400 Days who actually matters in terms of S2... and even then, her story doesn’t matter too much...which is dumb. 

For me, Bonnie’s story is such a waste... like okay, right from the start they establish that Bonnie is a recovering addict, and I’m intrigued. The idea of an addict surviving in the apocalypse while trying to kick the stuff is interesting as hell.... but the story kinda just glosses over it unless Dee is insulting Bonnie by calling her a junkie. 

No, the story we got was Bonnie breaking up a marriage. Great. 

There’s this dude Leland who has a wife, Dee, but he and Bonnie are getting awfully snug with one another... so that’s real nice. Dee eventually finds them giving each other the look and breaks it up in a passive aggressive way before revealing she found a bag of supplies. This happens to be a bag that she “found” at the diner/gas station where Shel’s group is currently staying. 

An argument breaks out between Leland and Dee with Bonnie in the middle and it’s not compelling at all. You can just sit there and do nothing and it doesn’t matter, they continue to fight until Shel’s group spots them and they gotta run. 

Bonnie ends up shot and falls behind, and we do get a cool scene where she has to make her way through this cornfield without getting caught. I do like that bit, it’s fun. 

But then she gets away, grabs a weapon, and hits someone walking up on her... that someone happened to be Dee. Whoops. Dee calls her a junkie, saying she killed her, and then dies.

Now comes the big choice: Do you tell Leland the truth or lie to cover your ass?

While this is an interesting choice on paper, it doesn’t matter. Leland isn’t with Bonnie in the end no matter what, and Bonnie will always agree to go with Tavia. 

Personally, I wanted the fact that she was a recovering addict to be more front and center. Throw Leland and Dee away, have Bonnie travelling on her own. Have her going through withdrawals, show us her struggle of still being hooked on drugs while surviving in the zombie apocalypse... have her stumble across Shel’s group and from a distance, she sees they have medical supplies. She’s so desperate that she sneaks in at night and steals as much as she can, but gets caught. 

We could still have her running away through the cornfield with the drugs, she can still get shot and everything... but maybe she’s so desperate for them that she ends up killing one of Shel’s group members, and she sees just what she’s willing to do in order to get these drugs, and you can make a choice of abandoning the drugs and quitting, or taking the drugs and running away... and it could actually affect Bonnie in the ending and into S2. 

Plus, her killing one of Shel’s group would help add to the debate in her episode, y’know?

I just... I wanted that story... not what we got. 

2. The past is more interesting than the present

This goes hand in hand with #3, but applies to almost everyone else. 

All of these characters that we get to play as have more interesting backstories that I was more compelled by than what they’re actually going through in their stories. 

The first time we meet Vince, he straight up murders a dude who is pleading for his life, saying he doesn’t even know Vince’s brother. Like... okay, what the hell happened here? What happened to Vince’s brother that made her commit murder like that? 

How about Wyatt and Eddie? They’re running from Nate after Eddie killed the guy he was with. They’re panicking, Eddie is covered in the dude’s blood, Wyatt doesn’t know if Eddie meant to shoot or not. You can tell they’re known each other a long time, too. They’re a couple of stoners who got themselves into hot water. 

Oh and Russell? His story is interesting as hell! He was in a group where the main guy kept going on about how seven if the perfect number for a group, ya can’t break seven, and this group eventually started killing so they could steal, so Russell got away and is now on his way to find his grandmother’s place. 

Once again... Bonnie is a recovering drug addict in the apocalypse. 

The only one without an interesting backstory is Shel... which I guess is fitting. The boring character doesn’t even get a fun backstory, she just exists. 

It’s not a good sign when I’m more interested in the past, y’know? Vince’s I can give a bit of a pass to because he killed that guy before the apocalypse broke out, and his dilemma takes place right at the start, and it’s done pretty well. 

Everyone else though? I already explained Bonnie’s, but what about Russell and his seven group? We could’ve gotten that story of a group that starts out good, the guys gives his philosophy on the dumber seven, Russell meets that one girl... but then things start to grow dark when the group starts to become desperate enough to murder and steal, the guy keeps going on about the number seven so they can’t invite anyone in, and they can’t let anyone go... so Russell has to sneak away or something. 

Wyatt and Eddie? Show ‘em there when Nate and his buddy show up. Give us the tension of “are these guys chill or are they planning something?” when Eddie gets into a fight with the other dude and ends up shooting him, Nate gets pissed, and they gotta flee. Wyatt doesn’t know if Eddie shot him intentionally or not, it’s a whole, thing and they can still hit the cop and do that whole thing, too. 

I just... I think problem is the stories were a bit too compact and short, not giving the characters a chance to develop or the stories enough compel to them. 

1. It doesn’t matter who goes to Howe’s or not and that’s dumb

Sigh..... so yeah, obviously this is #1. 

My biggest problem with 400 Days is that is doesn’t affect much. Even Bonnie’s story doesn’t affect what she does in S2.

As for the rest, if you only got Bonnie at Howe’s, then the rest and their fate’s are unknown. But if you do manage to get everyone to go with Tavia, they are at Howe’s... the problem is, they show up in small cameos that literally do nothing. 

Ya got Wyatt who walks past Clementine like “Dude you better hurry, Bill doesn’t like to wait” like.... what, am I just supposed to get excited and point at him like “oooohhh I know him! I know him! That Wyatt! Hehehehe!” because I didn’t do that...

Or Vince randomly showing up to catch Tavia smoking, or Shel and her dumb sister making a comment about Sarah, it’s just dumb. 

And then Howe’s falls and their fates are left unknown anyway.... so it didn’t matter. 

I’ll just say what most of us were thinking.... Why weren’t they the cabin group? No, seriously, why weren’t the 400 Day’s crew the cabin group? Because it was too hard given the fact that there are so many combos? That’s fair, but if that’s the case, then what was the point of 400 Days?

Did they just want to tell a bunch of smaller stories within this world but never actually planned on using them outside of fun cameos in S2, with the exception of Bonnie? That probably is the case... and I think my disappointment in 400 Days does stem from being in the fandom at the time and getting hyped to see what they would do with these characters, only for it to be this. 

Not only that, but then I started to think about how they could’ve done with game but with the actual cabin group from S2. Luke, Nick, Pete could’ve had their own story dealing with Nick’s mom getting bit after they took in a bite victim. 

Rebecca and Alvin could’ve had a story about their marriage kinda falling apart despite them trying hard, and this could help make her affair with Carver make more sense. 

Carlos and Sarah could have a story that explains Carlos’ over protectiveness and as well as explore Sarah as a character. 

Hell, give Mike a story. 

Give JANE a story about her and Jaime so that her appearing outta no where isn’t jarring, and develops her and the reasons she treats survival the way she does.

There was so much they could’ve done with this idea... and to be honest, if we ever get another game in this series, I would love it in this style but expanded into a season where each episode follows a different character and tells a different story, but in the end they all end up connecting. There is SO MUCH you can do with that!

But alas..... 400 Days for me is full of missed opportunities and I wish it wasn’t. 

---

Honorable Mentions

-Eddie only appeared in Wyatt’s episode and then disappeared until his death in S4.... Eddie’s great, should’ve been around more. -Would’ve been nice if the cancer group from S1 was expanded on, give more context to what the hell happened to Vernon and the boat, y’know? -a bit more development for Tavia would’ve been nice, as well... she just kinda shows up at the end and recruits who she can. 

---

So what are your thoughts on 400 Days? Do you agree with these missed opportunities, or have any to add? Lemme know, it’s always fun to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Reasons Gabe’s Pretty Great, Y’all Are Just Mean

[that-was-anticlimactic]

oh i didnt know you liked the hollow! how abt kai?

omigosh i love the hollow so much literally my comfort show

hehe okay so kai:

how i feel about this character: i love kai ! he was actually my favorite hollow character when i first started the show ! i especially like his growth in s2 how, despite being (presumably) the youngest, he began to take on the role as a leader and a constant when the group needed it--a bridge between vanessa and everyone else. i also loved the fact that he was a rich kid with family issues because, while i am not a rich kid, my parents fought a lot and got divorced so it just it was nice and also my favorite line in the show was about that !

i also loved s1 kai. adam is a pretty serious character and had trouble finding fun and kai brought that out of him. i love the banter between him and adam as well as him and mira. i especially love how he developed after discovering his powers but how he also came to terms with "i don't have some super special power like adam and mira and the other kids, but i'm smart and still contribute to the team" and didn't always rely solely on his fire. i love how we got to see kai separated from adam and mira and how he actually became a bit more serious because his friends were in danger, as well as his little run in with reeve and skeet and how he was like "i could totally take you!"

all the people i ship romantically with this character: okay. i am conflicted. originally, i was a hardcore kai x adam shipper. because the poTENTIAL for them is just *chef's kiss* and the way they both actively helped better each other and drive each other and balanced each other was amazing. plus, the fan art is really cute and the way that adam looks at kai... like... ahhhhh... also the way kai just destroyed mabel the chicken because she almost got to adam... like... bisexual,,,

but s2 came out and i do kind of like kai x vanessa... the way their friendship developed was so organic and so sweet and that's something i can really appreciate. the way he stood up for her when even reeve was upset with her made my heart so happy and how he respected her decision to tell the others / not to tell the others (plus that speech he gave in 'fire'... chills). i definitely prefer kaidam but kai x vanessa is also adorable

my non-romantic otp for this character: kai and mira !!! kai and mira !!! kai and mira !!! i love their friendship so much. like. seriously. it's so good and the way they bounce off each other is just. so much fun. i also love the parallels of them being in the middle of everything in s2: mira between reeve and adam and kai between vanessa and everyone else. and the way that kai instantly turned to mira at the end of dead end, the way that he was going to mira for help while adam and reeve were fighting, it just shows how much he trusts her and how much he needs her. and how when she starts panicking right before the credits, his last call of "mira" turns into more of a worried / concerned question and ahhhhh

i also love platonic vanessa and kai hehe. again. they are amazing. the way that they are genuinely concerned for each other and are able to own up to their unkind behavior and move past it while still acknowledging that they made mistakes... ahhh so good. and the way that they covered for each other mY HEART

my unpopular opinion about this character: oooo idk if i'll have an unpopular opinion because i haven't really interacted with fandom, so i'll just say that kai was never really obnoxious, he was just asking for attention in the only way he knew how, easing the tension in the only way he knew how since his parents obviously didn't get along or pay him much attention. he diffused arguments (even ones he was in) with jokes because he needed to feel secure or some semblance of normalcy and i love him for that (that's also what my younger sister does)

one thing i wish would happened / had happened with this character in canon: i wish we didn't have the awkward kai liking mira moments tbh. i mean, i know he's young, but those were some of my least favorite scenes in s1. they just felt awkward and made me :/// but i suppose that was the point

anyways... i have many feelings and i love this show perhaps too much hehe

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Head Case (S2, E6)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:03 - This clip of Malcolm in the car is from the pilot episode. I was so betrayed by this clip. Full disclosure - I’ve always had a thing for Malcolm’s jacket from the pilot episode. I just love it and I think Tom Payne looks cute in it. BUT - I was betrayed because Malcolm isn’t wearing my favourite jacket in the next scene (I was disappointed but not surprised). Rant about wardrobe over. 

0:20 - This is weird to me. In the clip right before this, when Malcolm was coming to Claremont (wearing the awesome jacket) - Malcolm is clearly in emotional distress. He’s not in a good mood. BUT right here, when Malcolm is chatting with Mr. David he seems like he’s in a good mood. Not one of his manic good moods - just a regular good one.

0:32 - Anyone else notice how visibly uncomfortable Jessica AND Malcolm are? This whole Ainsley situation is literally going to destroy them both. :(

0:34 - sooooo Mr. David knows by now right? He has to? ALSO when the European FBI guy shows up in a few episodes this is going to be bad for Malcolm and Jessica right? The FBI guy will probs talk to Mr. David who will be like - oh yeah, they’ve had more ‘family meetings’ in the past 6 months than in the past 20 years. 

1:22 - Sooooo this whole family honestly thinks Ainsley’s going to become a serial killer. From the tidbits of her childhood that we’ve seen, the way she treated Malcolm in Q&A, and generally how she acts when she wants to get a story - I’m not surprised. Read my thoughts on older episodes (1x7, 1x20, 2x5), I’ve always thought Ainsley was a sociopath or psychopath. The girl doesn’t show a lot of moral backbone or sympathy for anyone. 

1:33 - Wait. Does this montage of Malcolm’s erratic behaviour mean that Malcolm killed someone as a kid? And doesn’t know it? Or is this just a reference to the whole ‘girl in the box’ trauma arc from last season?

1:44 - “I wish I didn’t know that you were a killer.” Anyone else get major flashbacks to the movie Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause? “I wish I had never become Santa at all” then we get an AU for 40 mins? Just me? Cool - excuse my bad taste in Christmas movies. 

1:50 - hahaha Martin is so bitter.

2:25 - You know, as much as I love to hate Martin - he has a point. Malcolm loved his Dad (still does whether he wants to admit it or not) in 98′ - why is Malcolm chill with Ainsley killing but not Martin? Is it because with Martin, he found a poor girl tortured in a box but with Ainsley he saw her kill a man that was threatening their family? Or was it because Martin tried to kill Malcolm but Ainsley hasn’t (yet?) **honestly - that would be such an interesting episode - if Ainsley tries to kill Malcolm**

2:33 - THANK YOU. Someone finally thanks Malcolm for trying to protect Ainsley (and in extension Jessica) from the emotional trauma he’s been dealing with since the age of 10. EVEN THOUGH PROTECTING THEM IS MAKING HIS MENTAL STATE WORSE. Seriously - Malcolm is going to snap soon I honestly won’t be surprised if we get some suicidal ideation from him this season (especially if things don’t improve). Look at those big sad puppy dog eyes when Jess thanks him.

2:38 - hahahaha that side-eyed glare directed at Martin. 

2:53 - I know Jessica had good intentions here - she’s trying to protect both of her children but honestly, this whole interaction was probably super upsetting for Malcolm. Think about it - BOTH of his parents haven’t tried to have a serious discussion with him at the same time since he was at 10 years old or younger. This interaction is probably bringing up some memories for Malcolm and making him grieve for the childhood he lost all over again. 

3:06 - “You’re gross.” followed by a very regal wave at Mr. David. YES. Queen Jessica. <3

3:25 - Malcolm startling JT is pretty freaking cute. Look at how JT’s expression immediately changes from startled to concerned. I don’t blame him. Malcolm gives off major manic energy in this scene. The visit with the parents did not leave him in a good place. Also - Malcolm straight up admitted that he’s had a ‘rough morning’ this boy almost never tells the truth when he’s struggling. He’s fine. He’s always fine. 

3:30 - “Rough month.” IS THIS IT? IS THIS ALL I’M GOING TO GET? JT had a baby THREE EPISODES AGO. ‘rough month’ is a reference to the fact that he’s a new dad and he’s struggling with lack of sleep, leaving Tally alone with the baby while he’s a work, being a good husband, adjusting to dad life, ect. RIGHT?!? We’ve literally had no mention of the baby since 2x3 and I’m losing my mind. I just want someone to say, “Hey JT, how’s the baby?” that’s it. I want 5 seconds of dialogue. Just an acknowledgment that the child exists. 

3:54 - “Sooo bring me up to speed.” OMG. That smile is both extremely manic and completely adorable. Seriously - why is no one on the team more concerned about Malcolm during this episode? AND WHERE THE EFF IS EDRISA IN THIS SCENE?!? We’ve been robbed. 

4:21 - “What? I liked math class.” OMG. JT is a closet math nerd. You can’t take this headcanon away from me. 

4:24 - hahahaha look at Malcolm absorbing the new information about JT. He’s like.....yes. I will keep that information for later. Very good. Will pry further. 

5:04 - I love Dani. She’s perfect. She can see that Malcolm just checked out into his own horror of a memory. So she gently teases him to bring him back to reality. <3 This is true friendship. <3

6:00 - Was I the only one who thought it was weird that Gil asked Malcolm to help with the canvasing? Like - doesn’t Malcolm always help? Isn’t that part of what he does to build his profile?

6:12 - “KGB agent” Yes. Malcolm is still annoyed that Ainsley was so competitive about a literal murder last episode. I promise you. Ainsley’s probably still annoyed too. 

6:26 - This is why Malcolm is considering telling Ainsley the truth. He’s already losing her. May as well rip off the band-aid. She might not react as badly finding out from him as she would finding out by herself.

6:51 - “That is my vagina.” hahahahaha OMG. As a woman I must say: HOW?!?! As someone who adores JT:  hahahahahahahaha OMG. 

7:23 - “You’re getting a lot of mileage out of that tidbit”. lol. JT gently teasing Malcolm is one of my favourite things. Hands down. Especially since they’ve reached a point in their friendship where Malcolm doesn’t seem scared or offended when JT makes fun of him. They’re acting like brothers and I LOVE IT. <3

7:25 - “That’s the tip of the iceberg my man.” I have no idea why I am so amused by someone calling Malcolm “my man” but I am. 

7:36 - “The Bowery Ripper” hahaha the look that JT and Dani exchange when Malcolm starts nerding out.

8:00 - Wendell is kind of creepy. But like a weird, non-threatening creepy?

8:22 - OMG. JT let the vagina sculpture go. hahaha Look at how grossed out Dani is hahahaha she’s like, “Ugh. Men are gross.”

8:30 - This is why I love JT. He knows that that elevator is sketchy as hell. Plus it’s some (less than subtle) foreshadowing for what’s to come in this episode. 

8:41 - How did Dani find out he was at Claremont?! Does Mr. David call Gil every time Malcolm visits?!? ......this is my new headcanon. You will have to pry it from my cold dead hands. 

9:00 - This is a really cute moment between Dani and Malcolm. Regardless of whether or not you ship Brightwell - it’s really sweet to see Malcolm interacting so honestly with someone. He’s telling Dani the truth about something and she’s not making him feel bad about how messed up his family is or how weird his situation is. She just listens and teases him to make him smile. That is a good friend. IDC how you feel about Brightwell - right now - this is a GOOD FRIEND moment and Malcolm deserves more of them. 

9:10 - Annnnnnndddd this is why Brightwell shouldn’t happen (right now). Dani is still hurt that Malcolm doesn’t trust her enough to tell her everything. She still doesn’t completely trust him after what happened last season. A romantic relationship without 100% trust will fail. End of story. They’re great friends but right now they can’t be in a romantic relationship. It’ll end poorly. (Damn, I hope Brightwell is endgame though).

9:38 - hahaha Greta Swan is a perfect comedic relief for the Dani/Malcolm tension we just witnessed. This girl is a little nuts and a lot funny. 

10:00 - “Dad’s lived here his whole life” - wow. The writers really left us some big bread crumbs. We go from the scene where someone mentions a serial killer who killed someone (who was abducted from this hotel) in 1963. THEN we find a strange, gossipy woman and her grumpy father who has lived there his whole life. Coincidence? Nah. 

10:17 - SERIOUSLY?!? The Whitly home is ENORMOUS. WHY IS JESSICA LETTING AINSLEY WORK IN THE MURDER BASEMENT?!?!?! We literally just found out that Jessica has a SOLARIUM somewhere in this house. 

10:40 - “The guy definitely seems like he kills people.” Oh the irony here. 

10:55 - “Are you upset with me?” This is soft and I love it. Malcolm is being vulnerable with his little sister and it warms my heart. 

11:07 - “Insomnia sucks.” “Who knew?” Again. Irony. 

11:18 - “Anything you want to talk about?” This is precious. Malcolm loves Ainsley SO FREAKING MUCH. He has major Dad/Big brother/concerned school counsellor energy here and I’m here for it. 

11:38 - Malcolm’s soooo going to replay this conversation in his head about a million times. He’s going to blame himself for Ainsley’s murder victim of this episode. He’s going to play the “what-if” game. What if - he told her the truth here? Would she still have killed someone tonight? 

11:52 - Look at Ainsley’s face here. She seems sort of confused and comforted? Like maybe the fractions of memories that she’s admitting to having are making her believe that she killed Endicott and it scares her. Malcolm telling her otherwise is probably comforting on some level. It’s helping her convince herself that she’s done nothing wrong. 

12:25 - According to IMDB - this isn’t the episode LDP directed SO WHY IS THERE SO LITTLE GIL CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE?!?!?!

12:27 - What the hell is the puddle on the floor btw? Is it paint? Tar? Blood? I thought construction hadn’t started on the hotel yet?

14:14 - Malcolm. You. Are. A. Moron. Why go towards the creepy elevator that opened by itself? Why did you think that was a good idea?

14:29 - The Bowery Ripper is pretty strong for an old guy. I mean, Malcolm isn’t that big and he was caught off guard but still.

14:38 - I wanted this scene to be reality SO SO BADLY. I don’t even care about the Brightwell interaction in this scene. Malcolm is on a hospital bed. With an ice pack. I could’ve watched 45 minutes of “Malcolm in the hospital” content. The fact that this boy didn’t spend longer than a 30 second scene in the hospital is a CRIME. Why does Fedak hate giving us the whump aftercare?!? WHY?!?! Doesn’t he know like half the fandom LIVES FOR IT?!?

14:40 - You know how I knew this was the start of Malcolm’s AU dream? 2 reasons: 1) Dani has her hand on the ice pack on Malcolm’s head, even though he totally doesn’t need her help to hold the ice pack to his head. 2) GIL ISN”T HERE. .....although this episode did us dirty with the lack of Gil content (I miss Papa!Gil so much)

14:46 - There’s something about dream JT. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Real and dream JT are almost identical. But dream JT seems to be more open with Malcolm? IDK - he’s more relaxed around Malcolm? I can’t quite describe it. Did anyone else notice that there was just something a little bit different about dream JT? Not even in a bad way. Just different. 

15:15 - “Noooo she said it could’ve been worse. Not the same.” hahaha YES DANI. Good looking out. Call out this boy for neglecting his health. 

15:24 - This whole scene where Dani and Malcolm do a joint interrogation was awesome. They were talking pretty fast which I found a little distracting but JT said it best, “They were on FIRE”.  One thing I REALLY liked about the scene was the dynamic between Dani and Malcolm. Neither one of them was really taking a lead in the interrogation. They were equal partners and I think that says a lot about Malcolm’s romantic desires. He doesn’t want to dominate anyone. He doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. He just wants someone he can trust and respect. Someone who will trust and respect him. He wants a partner. An equal partner. I think that’s a really healthy desire for anyone in search of a relationship. 

16:12 - an affair? Did we know that Lyle and/or Katrina were married?!? If they weren’t married it would just be a relationship. Not an affair. 

17:01 - Is this honestly the first time Dani has called Malcolm by his first name? In 26 episodes? It must be right? Because I swear I was so shocked my heart skipped a beat (also my Brightwell heart melted but that’s a whole different thing). 

17:06 - .....so in Malcolm’s dream does he still work for Major Crimes? Is JT running the department? I need some more details here. 

17:12 - Soft!JT <3 <3 <3 How cute is it that in Malcolm’s AU dream, JT (and Dani) don’t actually change (in terms of personality). Their roles in his life just intensify. Dani becomes his significant other and JT becomes a much closer friend/brother. It’s precious. <3 <3 <3 

17:52 - Something about the fact that Jessica isn’t drinking liquor in the AU is hilarious and depressing to me. It’s funny because, well, it just tickles me. It’s depressing because Malcolm understands that Jessica drinks to dull the pain. In this AU, she isn’t in pain. She’s happy. Therefore, she doesn’t need alcohol. I don’t know about you but the fact that Malcolm’s subconscious wanted his mom to be happy so badly that she became (more or less) sober - is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. 

18:11 - “No one in this family is scared of a little blood right?” The irony here is THICK.

19:23 - The fact that Ainsley is a doctor just like Martin in Malcolm’s AU is terrifying and hilarious. This whole “I watched Ainsley kill a man” thing is really destabilizing Malcolm’s questionable mental health.

19:27 - “Please Ainsley is the talented one. I’m a distance second.” ....does this mean that Endicott isn’t the first person Ainsley has killed? Does this mean subconsciously Malcolm somehow thinks that Ainsley is a better serial killer than Martin?

19:56 - “No phones at dinner okay?” Something about the way Martin is looking at Malcolm at this moment and Martin’s tone of voice made me think - “Shit. Martin’s still a serial killer in Malcolm’s AU.” Especially since they Ainsley literally just announced to the room that he’s getting a from Claremont. 

20:06 - Yep. That’s a nightmare. From the back, Claremont!Gil probably looked like Martin circa mid-2010s for Malcolm. 

20:09 - Look idc who you ship on this show. But I will fight you if you don’t think that Malcolm being comforted after a nightmare by someone he loves is the sweetest thing ever. Look at how Dani gently rubs his arm and back. Ugh. This is the kind of safety Malcolm DESERVES. 

20:43 - Dani lying on Malcolm’s chest. <3 It just makes me so happy. Not even necessarily because it’s Dani (although I do ship Brightwell as end game) but because Malcolm’s subconscious is showing us his ideal relationship and we don’t see anything wild or questionable - we just see G-rated cuddling. And damn if that doesn’t say a lot about how much Malcolm just wants to be loved. 

20:53 - .......Can we have a full episode’s worth of footage where Malcolm is unconscious on the floor? I know I’m a basket case but it would make my whump heart so happy.....even happier if that footage was immediately followed by 40 mins of hospital care/comfort footage.

20:59 - I know that time has sort of slowed down for the purpose of plot in this episode but ngl - every time we saw the elevator approaching passed out Malcolm all I could think was “this is the slowest elevator in the world.”

21:26 - Malcolm is so so relaxed and comfortable in this scene. I want him to be this happy forever. 

22:07 - “You deserve all of it.” Malcolm subconsciously just wants permission to be happy. He doesn’t think he deserves to be happy (especially after Endicott). That little revelation broke my heart. Also the Brightwell kiss was adorable. Dani takes control because, Malcolm wants to feel wanted and this is how his subconscious is manifesting that desire. I will argue that Malcolm doesn’t necessarily want a relationship where his partner takes charge or dominates him. He made coffee of both of them. They’re living in his apartment. They’re having calm, mature, adult conversations. They are both equal partners in his dream relationship. 

22:45 - Dani isn’t scared of Malcolm when his hand starts shaking. She isn’t judging him. She’s just concerned. <3

22:47 - “Existential ennui”? Soooo much french in this episode. Damn. “Jamais vu”, “Quelle suprise”. Now “ennui”. 

23:35 - “I don’t fit your profile.” ....am I expected to believe that Malcolm didn’t realize this was a dream until this moment? Dani calling him “Malcolm Whitly” in the last scene wasn’t a red flag? Or the fact that Ainsley is a doctor. Or that Martin isn’t in Claremont? Or that Jessica isn’t drinking booze by the bucket? I mean, I know he has a head injury but these are big red flags. 

24:15 - Sooooo is Wendell dead irl? Because this is technically a dream. 

25:02 - “I thought we were looking for an inexperienced psychopath. A first time killer.”......this is him projecting about Ainsley right? Am I overthinking this? And now he says, “I was wrong”. Is that supposed to suggest that Malcolm thinks Ainsley has killed someone before Endicott?

25:07 - “The blows are confident. They were having fun.”.....couldn’t the same be said about how Ainsley stabbed Endicott? They were definitely confident stabs (plus a confident throat slitting). 

25:14 - “We’re looking for a serial killer.” Istg the writers are hinting that Ainsley is a serial killer (or will become one soon).

25:27 - Mr. David appears in the AU but Edrisa doesn’t. We were ROBBED.

26:07 - I’m not the only one who thinks that beard makes Gil look like a werewolf right?

26:33 - Claremont!Gil is creepy. LDP’s performance here is really really good. Also - I hate it. Because serial killer Gil is just not my Gil and it upsets me to see Gil chained to a wall. 

26:56 - Sooooo in the AU “The Surgeon” is still at large right? ....you’d think Malcolm would be trying to solve that case with Dani and JT. You know, an active prolific serial killer in New York?

27:34 - The way that Martin, Gil, and Malcolm interact in this scene is really interesting to me. In a lot of ways, this isn’t an AU. Think about it. 

In the dream: Gil is frantically trying to convince Malcolm that Martin is a serial killer. In a way, Gil is trying to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In reality: Gil just shoots Malcolm disapproving looks when he mentions seeing Martin. Gil desperately tries to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In the dream: Martin is trying to convince Malcolm that Gil is a monster. He’s trying to convince Malcolm that he’s a Good father. That he would never hurt Malcolm. That he loves Malcolm. 

In reality - Martin is the same. 

The only main difference between AU!Martin, AU!Gil, and their real counterparts is their temperaments. AU!Martin has Gil’s calm, comforting, and rational temperament while AU!Gil has Martin’s angry, manic, and controlling temperament.

What is the same between the AU characters and their real counterparts? 

Martin is still a manipulative killer.

Gil still shoots Malcolm looks of concern (27:45). 

Gil and Martin still hate each other. 

28:30 - Even dream Martin tries to gaslight Malcolm. 

28:56 - “You can always count on Dad.” ....is this how Malcolm really feels about Martin subconsciously? It kind of makes sense? Who did Malcolm turn to when Ainsley did the unthinkable? Not Gil or Jessica. Malcolm said it in 1x12 - (I’m paraphrasing) “The child in me thought he cared. Loved me even.” I think there’s still a part of Malcolm that believes that. Or at least a part of Malcolm that desperately wants to believe that. 

29:17 - “I’ve never been to a crime scene before.” That’s because you create the crime scene, Martin. In all versions of reality. 

29:20 - annnnnnd AU Martin shares regular Martin’s weird fascination with Dani. 

31:00 - JT being buddy-buddy with Martin is hands down the most horrifying part of the AU. 

31:10 - “I think he’s having a psychotic break.” ......I want this to be foreshadowing so so so badly. I think it would be so interesting to see how the team, Jessica, Ainsley, and even Martin deal with Malcolm just having a total breakdown. Maybe not a full psychotic break. Maybe a nervous breakdown? Or he succumbs to his suicidal ideation? Probably a little too dark for network TV though.

31:34 - “I’m very protective of her and her boots.” Does Malcolm see himself as the Bowery Ripper, trying to protect Ainsley as opposed to his daughter? Or is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be a metaphor for Martin protecting Ainsley? Is Malcolm going to take the fall for Ainsley and all her murders?!? 

32:45 - “Why did you kill again? After all these years.” istg this is hinting that Ainsley killed someone as a kid and Martin knows about it.

33:00 - “I can’t let my daughter know what I was.” .....is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be Ainsley? Is Ainsley killing people to try and protect Malcolm? Ugh. I’m totally overthinking this.

33:02 - Even in his dream, Malcolm can’t bring himself to kill his father. Wether that is by cutting off contact with Martin irl or letting the Bowery Ripper kill him in the AU.

33:07 - Actually though - why doesn’t Malcolm carry a gun IRL? We know he’s trained to use one. We saw him use one in the pilot on a case for the FBI. Is there some sort of NYPD rule about consultants carrying weapons? Is it a rule that Gil has imposed on Malcolm? Is it a rule that Malcolm has imposed on himself? A mixture? I want to know. 

33:38 - OMG. Is Malcolm going to try and kill Ainsley?!?! What a twist that would be. AU Malcolm just killed a killer. He doesn’t seem to feel bad about it and he agrees with Martin that “everything is okay now”. 

33:55 - This hug deeply moved me. Malcolm is fully aware that this hug isn’t real but he looks so content to be hugged by his father. Malcolm is finally getting a proper hug. <3 It honestly makes me wonder what Malcolm would do IRL for his father’s approval though. He’s clearly sooo desperate for Martin to love him. Who knows what Martin will be able to convince Malcolm to do in this season? Malcolm’s not all that mentally stable right now and he’s really vulnerable emotionally. I’m worried.

34:26 - “Not that it’s a competition.” ....yep. Ainsley wants to be better than Malcolm even in Malcolm’s own subconscious. 

35:00 - Heart. Breaking. Watching Ainsley, Martin, and Jessica tell Malcolm how good they think Dani is for him breaks my heart. Look at how happy Malcolm looks. Look at how desperately Malcolm wants this to be real. Ugh. My heart is shattered. 

35:20 - “You’re the best, big brother.” Even Malcolm’s subconsious knows that he’s an excellent big brother. Seriously, I love my younger brother but I don’t think I could ever cover up a murder for him. Never mind dispose of the body. Maybe I would? IDK the situation has never come up (thankfully).

35:25 - .....aaannnnnndd we’re back to the Girl in the Box.

35:58 - “Why would you ever want to leave?” “Because it’s all a lie.” Isn’t Malcolm living a lie IRL too? He’s pretending that Ainsley is a law-abiding citizen. He’s pretending that he isn’t an accomplice in a murder. He’s living in constant fear because of his secrets. They’re going to destroy him. This is why I think a suicide attempt is a possibility for this season. This trauma is a lot bigger (in some ways) than last season’s. Plus - Malcolm has a lot of pre-existing trauma. This could be the metaphoric straw that breaks the camel’s back.  

36:45 - “Even in my wildest dream. I’m still a detective. I need to seek the truth. No matter how painful.” That’s it. That’s Malcolm’s character in a nutshell. “Traumatized boy who intentionally puts himself through more trauma for the sake of seeking the truth.”

37:01 - “You’re right. I need to work on that.”.......if Malcolm tells Gil and/or the team about Ainsley next episode I will lose my mind. 

 37:15 - TOM PAYNE. YOU ABSOLUTE TREASURE. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PERFORMANCE. THOSE UNSHED TEARS. THAT DESPERATE ANGER. THAT HOPELESSNESS AND DESPAIR.  <3 <3 <3 <3 

38:21 - Look, I’m a mechanical engineering student (not an expert) but if that was a wooden stick like I think it is - that would’ve NEVER stopped an elevator (at least, not long enough for Malcolm to escape). But I’ll overlook it for whump. Because Malcolm has a head wound and I’m loving it. 

38:33 - I’ve rewatched this clip of Malcolm with a bloody face meeting JT and Dani about 50 times (wish I was exaggerating that number). There is something so gorgeous about this scene. I mean - the fact that Malcolm is clearly in physical and emotional pain is enough to make my whump heart sing but it’s more than that. Listen to the genuine concern in JT’s voice when he says, “You okay?”. Look at Dani’s concerned face. Listen to how soft and desperate Malcolm’s voice is when he says, “When was the last time I talked to you?” Look at how concerned and confused JT and Dani are when Malcolm says, “I know who the killer is.” They’re not scared of Malcolm. They’re scared for Malcolm. Malcolm just showed up covered in blood, he can’t walk straight, he’s clearly confused, and now he’s claiming that he’s solved the case. They’re worried about him and they have every right to be. Listen to how broken Malcolm sounds when he says, “Long story.” <3 <3 <3 I’m in love with this scene. 

39:19 - “Are you sure about this?” “I have no idea.” This. Is. Important. JT and Dani have every reason to believe that this old man isn’t a killer but Malcolm’s head injury is making him confused. BUT they choose to trust Malcolm (or at the very least, humour him). They trust him enough to take a risk on him and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s exactly what Malcolm needed after his nightmare of an AU dream. He needed to know that they care about him IRL. I hope he notices their behaviour despite the head injury. 

39:35 - Malcolm puts the skull down with his ungloved hand. I’m blaming the head injury. 

39:55 - Look this was a really moving scene. The parallel of Malcolm arresting a serial killer in front of the serial killer’s child and Martin being arrested in front of Malcolm is haunting. HOWEVER, when that old man stood up from the wheelchair my stupid brain went “THAT ASSHOLE NEVER EVEN NEEDED THE WHEELCHAIR?!?”.....even though he literally wasn’t in a wheelchair in Malcolm’s dream. 

40:40 - WE WERE ROBBED. I want to see the scene where Malcolm explains his dream to the team. I want to see GIL. WHERE THE EFF IS GIL IN THIS EPISODE?!?! FURTHERMORE - I WANT THE IRL VERSION OF “MALCOLM GOES TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A HEAD INJURY” SCENE. WTF FEDAK. GIVE ME THE AFTERCARE. 

40:47 - “That man will be buried in a turtleneck.” hahahahahaha OMG. Iconic. 

41:27 - “Goodnight Malcolm.” <3 <3 <3 She called him Malcolm IRL. Excuse me while I go and stoke my slow burn Brightwell fire. 

41:36 - “Goodnight.” This is the face of a man who just accepted the fact that he will never be happy. Malcolm honestly doesn’t think he deserves to be in a relationship. Especially with someone as beautiful, kind, and talented as Dani.

41:40 - THAT HAT. Was this really in Season 1?!?! I don’t remember it? But holy hell - I want to see Malcolm wear it. Like now. It’s going to make me laugh. I can feel it. 

41:53 - Immediately you can hear that something is wrong in Ainsley’s voice. She sounds distracted, dissociated, and scared. 

42:14 - Give. Tom. Payne. An. Emmy. Listen to his voice breaking here. He’s so close to tears and it’s genuinely beautiful. Such an astounding performance. 

42:51 - I honestly think Ainsley is shaking her head because she realizes that she made a mistake. She came to Malcolm because she thought he killed Endicott. She thought that he’d be able to understand. That he’d be able to help her because he had committed the same crime she just committed. She was wrong. He can help her - but legally, he really shouldn’t.

43:08 - Look. A new scene for Malcolm’s night terrors. 

43:15 - Yep. This is going to drive Malcolm into a mental breakdown. This is bad. 

43:20 - There’s a part of me that wants Malcolm to tattle on Ainsley. Just so he doesn’t have to keep the secret any longer. The secret is killing him. Telling won’t make the situation any better though. Gil and the team will react horribly and it’ll make Malcolm feel like garbage. Plus I can only imagine how the press would scrutinize the Whitly’s again. It won’t be good any way you slice it. 

I have a love/hate relationship with this episode. On one hand - it’s the cannon AU episode that every fanfiction lover dreams of. It’s also a really compelling episode complete with some excellent acting and great insight into Malcolm’s psyche. HOWEVER: 1) not enough Gil, 2) WHERE IS MY WHUMP AFTERCARE?, and 3) I wanted to see Malcolm at the base of that elevator for longer. The whump wasn’t prolonged enough for my sick soul. 

[bedlamsbard]

I got a couple of different asks about Luke and Ahsoka in other side AU 10, so I guess I will just make it a regular post after all so I can answer all of them at once.

@slecnaztemnot: 

Okay i just read your latest other side chapter and I wanted to ask about Ahsoka and Luke dynamics. I wonder what exactly where their heretics disagreemts about the jedi doctrine? while i can guess some of the stuff like attachements i guess i mostly see ahsoka as nonjedi and therefore someone who should not be attached to doctrine about attachements (haha) so i am wondering how you see her. i would actually love your take on how their first meetings went. continued in next ask, 1/2

1/2 continuation since most people write them as Ashoka immediately spilling the beans about the whole Vader situation to Luke and yours Ahsoka didn't. So I am curious what do you think Ahsoka feels about it. I got of course lot of it from the fic itself so i am mostly asking about how did you base your interpretation, if that makes sense and what led you to the narrative choices to portray their relationship in such way.

@comentter:

I'm most interested in what Luke and Ahsoka know about each other. Luke doesn't know much about Ahsoka obviously, but does he have any idea why she seems to hate him? He must be desperate lol. And how much does Ahsoka know about what happened on the DS2? And how much does Kanan know about these events? What was Hera able to tell him and what else did Luke and Ahsoka tell him? I always figure that everyone but Luke and a few people he told (like Leia) think the Emperor and Vader from the DS2 explosion.

I now have this image in my head of Ahsoka spending time with Rex and her laughing as Rex does something like tell a joke or a specific gesture. Then Luke walks by, does the exact same thing and Ahsoka is like "Of course, you'd do this stupid thing, you idiot!" :D

I think shortly before I started writing this sequence I had seen some cute art of Luke and Ahsoka hugging, which is a pretty common art trope and which has never sat quite right with me.  I also have the tendency to want to do the opposite of common fanon, which I can’t leave out either.  I also wanted to logic out what the hell was going on with Ahsoka’s charaterization in her Mando episode on a Watsonian level rather than a Doylist one (which I did a few weeks ago), even if other side takes place well before Mando and doesn’t intersect with it in any meaningful way.

When it came to the Luke and Ahsoka relationship (or lack thereof), it came down to three questions for me:

Who knows what?

What do they know?

When do they know it?

I made the decision early on in the chapter to leave Leia out of this relationship entirely, since the new canon seems to at this point in time (within a year of RotJ) be keeping it relatively quiet that she and Luke are siblings, and it’s not something that Hera would have a reason to know.  (Note also that this entire sequence is told from Hera’s POV, which plays into the “who knows what when” angle.)

As per Rebels S4 (not the epilogue, because Mando’s thrown that out the window), Ahsoka knows (or has good reason to believe) the following:

Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader, Sith Lord

Darth Vader was directly or indirectly responsible for the genocide of the Jedi Order and the deaths of any Jedi who survived the Purge (”you and your Inquisitors saw to that”)

Padme Amidala is dead

Obi-Wan Kenobi is dead (Obi-Wan was not dead, but she has no way to know this)

no Darksider can return to the Light side

At the end of RotJ (not taking into account anything that happened in the comics or ancillary novels, which I’m not up to date on), Luke knows (or has good reason to believe) the following:

Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker

everyone Anakin ever knew is dead, mostly because of him

Vader returned to being Anakin Skywalker at the end of his life

(Leia presumably also knows all of this, perhaps with a few more details based on things her parents might have told her, but her feelings about Darth Vader are: Bad, Do Not Want, to be glib about it.)

Now, there’s one other factor here, which is Rex.  Rex knew Anakin and knew Ahsoka and was in the Rebel Alliance -- we know that he was on Yavin IV prior to Luke’s arrival and we know that he fought in the Battle of Endor. (And turns up in a couple of scattered art panels from the comics.)  If we want to take his brief appearance in Galaxy of Adventures with Han Solo’s strike force as canon, then he may have also known Han and probably Luke -- certainly his ears would have pricked up at the name “Skywalker.”  (Okay, there’s one other factor, which is R2-D2, but Artoo never tells anyone anything despite knowing...everything. Or most things, anyway.)  Rex doesn’t seem to know that Anakin became Darth Vader (I believe there’s an interview somewhere where Dave or Pablo or someone says that a meeting between Rex and Vader would be “awkward,” but there’s no canonical reason to believe that he knew about the Anakin/Vader connection), but he probably found out at some point that the 501st was the battalion involved in the assault on the Jedi Temple.  He also, as of Rebels S3-4, assumes that Vader killed Ahsoka -- presumably Ezra would have told him as much as he could.  (And Ezra does know that Vader is Anakin, so he may have told Rex that as well.)  Rex also knows that Anakin Skywalker was having an affair with Padme Amidala, but presumably didn’t know about (a) the marriage or (b) the pregnancy, because how would he know?

Then we come to Ahsoka’s return and unfortunately the current canon gives us no time point for when it actually happened: presumably Ahsoka did not or could not return to the greater galaxy at the point she “left”, during the fight on Malachor (3 BBY), because as of Rebels S3-4 everyone still believes she’s dead.  Maybe she’s still stuck on Malachor without a way to get off, who knows; maybe after S4 Ezra grabbed her into the World Between Worlds she decided to stay on Malachor until she ~caught up with the main timeline, which...you then have to believe that Ahsoka is going to deliberately remove herself from the war, which I can get to, but is not something I’m totally comfortable with.  Or she pops out in the timeline at the same time that Ezra returns to the main timeline and is able to more or less immediately return to the main timeline narrative, plus or minus a few weeks.  (There are, after all, still a couple of Advanced TIE fighters parked in the Sith temple, even if they were potentially damaged in the temple collapse.  Ahsoka could have repaired them or used the comms systems to call for a pick-up -- this is, btw, what happens in Crown.)  We don’t know when the S2 finale scene/S4 WBW scene of Ahsoka walking back into the temple actually takes place in the timeline; it doesn’t have to be at the exact same time as the rest of the S2 finale sequence (since obvs Vader dragging himself out, Maul flying off, and the Rebels crew looking sad doesn’t all take place at the exact same time).

Other side AU is deliberately vague about when Ahsoka returns from the World Between Worlds/Malachor/to the Rebel Alliance; it’s not stated in the story, but I made the assumption that she came back shortly after the (non-epilogue) end of the Rebels finale, but was still deeply messed up from her Malachor revelations.  (Also, like, Sidious, I guess, but she was probably so messed up about Anakin/Vader that Sidious being around barely registered.)  Since she never seems to have held a formal position in the Rebel Alliance, I assumed that after she returned and let everyone know she was still alive, she then immediately took off to try and figure out what the hell happened with Anakin at the end of the Clone Wars, since she saw him like a week before he snapped and at the time he seemed fine.

The problem is that almost everyone involved is dead.

Now, at this point (shortly before Scarif and ANH), a few people are still alive who then die shortly, but whom Ahsoka may have no reason to believe were involved.  Bail Organa, for example, is still around, but aside from him being Padme’s friend Ahsoka doesn’t have a reason to know that Bail was there when Padme died -- and since they were in contact for the nineteen years preceding there’s no reason for her to assume now that he was keeping something for her.  Back in the comics (before I stopped reading them), Vader did some digging to figure out what was going on with Padme and his child; Ahsoka probably would have done the same digging (without having to torture anyone), but without necessarily knowing that Padme was pregnant.  Knowing the date of Padme’s death (same as the Republic, essentially), she may have had a previous assumption that Padme was assassinated on Palpatine’s orders, but knowing that Vader is Anakin probably moves that assumption closer to the truth, that Anakin was somehow involved in Padme’s death one way or another.  Sooner or later Ahsoka will turn up the fact that Padme was pregnant, come to the obvious conclusion that Anakin was the father, and possibly find out the same thing that Vader does in the comics -- that the child was born before Padme died.  (But also probably not that Padme was carrying twins, but even if she found that out, it wouldn’t make a difference.)

While Ahsoka is doing her digging (and there really isn’t much information out there to find), the events of Rogue One and ANH happen, and Ahsoka comes back to the Rebel Alliance to find out which of her friends are still alive.  (Maybe Rex is with her at this point, who knows.)

Everyone in the Rebel Alliance is talking about some young hotshot named Luke Skywalker.

Luke Skywalker who has a very familiar lightsaber, who claims his father was Anakin Skywalker, and who had some kind of relationship with Obi-Wan Kenobi, who turned up on the Death Star, fought Darth Vader, and died.

Ahsoka has just spent the past few months trying to figure out what happened with Anakin, and as best she can reassemble the facts it mostly comes down to “Anakin did something dumb for Padme, that something dumb was ‘turn to the Dark Side and kill literally everyone,’ and then Padme died, the Republic was overturned, and the Jedi Order was wiped out.”  Ahsoka presumably walks into a room, hears the name Luke Skywalker -- maybe sees him -- and is all at once face to face with the living evidence of just how badly Anakin fucked up.

This is just too much for Ahsoka to deal with at the moment, so she takes off again, and spends the next five years brushing in and out of the Rebel Alliance doing odd missions that can really only be done by a trained Force-user.  Rex, who seems to have a more stable position in the Alliance, is always going to side with Ahsoka over anyone else; if she tells him not to tell Luke that she knew Anakin, he won’t.  (And for that matter, he may have somewhat fraught feelings about Luke himself.)  She may have the odd interaction with Luke -- who has heard that there’s another Jedi in the Alliance and wants to be friends/get real training -- but Ahsoka just does not want any part of this. It’s irrational! She knows it’s irrational! But this is the living evidence of Anakin’s failure, Anakin who last she saw him TRIED TO KILL HER, who was at least partially responsible for the deaths of everyone she ever knew.  (And honestly, finding out that Vader topped it all off by killing Obi-Wan is not going to help.)

Ahsoka may also be feeling a certain amount of survivor’s guilt: if Ezra had not pulled her out of the Malachor temple at that exact moment, she came pretty close to bringing the temple down on both herself and Vader, and may have succeeded in killing him.  She did not do so, and who knows how many people died because of that in the years between Malachor and Yavin?  (Just because Tarkin was the one who gave the order doesn’t mean that Ahsoka may at least partially blame Alderaan’s destruction on Vader, if she knew he was on the Death Star then.) She knows he killed Obi-Wan.

The Yoda lineage is very good at going “yikes, I am going off to live alone and beat myself up over my failure for years” and Ahsoka is very much an example of that lineage.

She and Luke have a relationship of “Hi, I’m Luke Skywalker, do you want to talk?” and “I have to leave immediately,” maybe with the odd “please stop using that lightsaber grip it is physically painful for me to watch, do it like this instead, okay, bye.”  Luke probably told all of two other people about what happened with Vader on the Death Star, Leia and Han; he has no reason to tell anyone else about it because it won’t matter to them.  Why would he tell Ahsoka, whom he has no relationship with?  He doesn’t know that Ahsoka knew Anakin Skywalker and would only know if one of four people told him: Ahsoka herself (no), Rex (no), R2-D2 (maybe), or Admiral Ackbar (would never have occurred to Luke to ask, might have occurred to Ackbar to say).  (We also don’t know that Mon Mothma knew Ahsoka very well, or at all, for that matter; they never interacted in TCW.)

As for her swinging harder into overt Jedi-ness by Mando after her blatant “I am no Jedi” of Rebels, it reads to me as a response to the Anakin/Vader revelation (especially the attachment thing).  She had made certain assumptions in the TCW period (see her saving Rex in the TCW finale) and prior to Rebels; Kanan’s method of Jediness was something she could accept in the time period and in those circumstances; the Anakin/Vader revelation shattered all of that, followed immediately as it was by Kanan apparently going full Jedi self-sacrifice despite his attachments.  (Her reaction to Ezra being a trauma response about two very different circumstances.)  All of a sudden what she thought might have been mutable based on the circumstances became something that had to be adhered to in case of dangerous results, which she had just had brought home to her in extremely bad circumstances.

I made a crack somewhere about Mando’s central tension being between “being Mandalorian” and “being doing Mandalorianness”; I think in the post-OT period with Ahsoka and Luke we’re seeing something similar with “being Jedi” and “being doing Jediness.”  Even if Ahsoka isn’t actively claiming the title Jedi anymore (because what does that accomplish in most contexts?), she’s leaning far more into the tenets of the Jedi Order -- which Luke doesn’t know and doesn’t know he doesn’t know.

Thus the doctrinal dispute.

Ahsoka grew up in the Jedi Order.  That’s what she knows, that’s how she knows how to be a Jedi; for her being a Jedi is being part of the Jedi Order, whether or not the actions associated with performing Jediness are being actively practiced.  Luke doesn’t have that context.  For Luke, being a Jedi is...being doing Jediness.  (This is super awkward phrasing.)  Performing the actions of a Jedi.  Luke has a few holocrons, but I’m guessing that a lot of what is on those holocrons makes the assumption that whoever is opening with them has the context of being a part of the Jedi Order and doesn’t explain really basic stuff about the Order or what that means.  Luke’s Jedi Order is not going to be the Republic Jedi Order made anew; it’s going to be something that has a resemblance to it and is based on a similar view of the Force, even arguably its heir, but is just not going to be the same thing.  It can’t be.  Luke doesn’t know what he doesn’t know.

Kanan, of course, is coming into all of this from a similar context as Ahsoka: he grew up in the Jedi Order, it’s what he knows, it’s who he is.  Except Kanan never walked away from the Order, so while Ahsoka had been disconnected from her Jediness at the time of the Purge, he never lost his -- part of Ahsoka’s tension from TCW S7-Rebels was “I can’t be a Jedi because the Order is gone” and Kanan’s was “can I be a Jedi without the Jedi Order?”  (Ezra is a whole ‘nother thing but is somewhat outside the scope of this.)  The Jedi Order never factors in Luke’s Jediness at all.  (There’s some lineage doctrinal dispute here as well -- the Yoda lineage seems to be very closely connected to the Order as the font of Jediness, the Windu-Billaba lineage somewhat less so.  The Yoda lineage is like...the hardcore conservatives of the Jedi Order, though, and are probably not typical.)

Poor Kanan came back from the dead, after a week in another universe (which had its own problems; he’s been trying to very gently convince his counterpart that even after being an Inquisitor for months he can still be a Jedi), into Luke trying to build a new Jedi Order from scratch, Ahsoka firmly believing it couldn’t and shouldn’t be done and not wanting to be in the same room as Luke at all (not to mention that she really did not believe that they should have gone for “hey, let’s send Hera Syndulla to another universe” as even being an option), and both of them having essentially incompatible notions of being a Jedi at each other -- this is probably the most time Luke and Ahsoka ever spent in each other’s presence.  They’ve probably never articulated their problems at each other, just assumed that the other knew them.  And Kanan has his own “how to be a Jedi” approach, which is from a very different than either Ahsoka or Luke because despite originating from the same context as Ahsoka, he had a very different path to get to his present position.

As for what Kanan knows -- uh, pretty much only what Hera knew, and Hera knew very little?  She was friendly with Luke and Leia, but didn’t have much interaction with them -- she states that she had a tendency to avoid Luke because even if she would never say it to Luke’s face, she silently believes that if any Jedi should have been in the Rebel Alliance, it should have been Kanan and Ezra and not this relative newcomer.  If the Death Star 2 news about Vader and Palps was never common knowledge, then Hera wouldn’t have known it.  Kanan’s in a position of having to play catch-up, but also having a completely different priority (finding Ezra).  He sat through this meeting where after they’d finished grilling him on “you were in ANOTHER UNIVERSE and also you CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD?” they politely sniped at each other with a bunch of context he didn’t have and flat out decided that wow, he did not want to deal with this at all, whatsoever.

(This is also not stated in the story, but Luke and Ahsoka also disagreed about whether Jacen should be trained or not: Luke said, yeah, of course, when he’s a little older! and Ahsoka said nope, he’ll be fine, it will go away. Hera was just very “...I will deal with this later” about it since it wasn’t an urgent issue.)

[evakuality]

How would you rank the Skam OG seasons?

Ah, anon. How did you know I was just itching to talk about Skam again? I'm sure 100 people have 100 different ideas about this, but this is where I sit:

1. s3. It's just very self-contained, you know? Even if it didn't deal with the specific topics that are most appealing to me, I think this would be my favourite one. It is eminently watchable as its own thing, making complete sense by itself. Now, that's partly because we deal more with the boy squad and it's quite separated from the girls and so it's not really necessary to have a wider picture. Plus, Isak has isolated himself quite a lot, apart from Sana and even with her it's not actually necessary to have 'met' her before to enjoy her role in the season. Fun fact: I watched s3 first out of all of them and I fell for Sana well before I fell for any of the other characters, even Isak and Even. Bonus for this season: no William. I think it would win on that alone.

2. s1 It's a lovely introduction to the show, and I love the way we gather up our girl squad. I also like how refreshing it is that 'breaking up' is seen as a viable option in this situation. It's nice sometimes to see a 'good' ending for a character that is not hinged on finding and/or keeping 'the one' - so it's sad that they pushed back on that in s4, but eh. It still stands in this season. Plus, Eva is a great character and I love her and the way she interacts with all her new friends. William content is already too high, though.

3. It's a tie - s2 and s4. I honestly can't choose which one of these I would rank lowest. S4 had a lot of potential, but it tanked roughly around the Syng scene (I remember being super super worried after that scene and hoping I was wrong about where it was heading - spoiler, I was not wrong and it sucked). I really dislike the way William and Noora's story intruded onto the season, and in a lot of ways it felt like Sana's story was shunted sideways just so we could go over (again!!!) all of their things. I stopped watching about when Sana tried reaching out to the girl squad and they turned their backs on her and the only one who would talk to her was Chris. I know people loved the 'los losers' scene but it felt unearned and rushed to me after the rejection and I basically didn't watch any more of the season apart from the other characters' clips in the last episode (except William). On that note - keeping Yousef away at the end and stealing one of her episodes to give to other characters (when her story was not at all resolved properly) will always sit badly with me. In a lot of ways I think it had too much going on, too many plots and often some things didn't make any sense in connection with each other. Definitely too much William.

S2 on the other hand, is just all about how horrifying I find William and in particular the way he effectively gaslights Noora and we're supposed to see it as romantic. Also, the way he blames her for the crap his asshole brother pulls. I don't like the whole 'he was right all along and even if he wasn't, we have to forgive him because of some stuff in his family life' - no, no no no no no. He was an asshole and nothing we found out changed that; he didn't learn or grow and all that happened to Noora was that she regressed from a cool character and she never recovered her spark or fire. Plus it was farrrrrrr too long and many of the episodes went on for much too long. I remember opening one, seeing it was almost an hour long and losing the will to live. Waaayyyyy too much William, of course. If s4 didn't have all the problems it does, this one would 'win' the last spot hands down just by virtue of so much William.

[janiedean]

Hope this is okay to ask but I was wondering what your thoughts are on the way Tyrion is treated by some of the fandom, especially Cersei stans? I feel he is held to a different standard to other male characters and as someone with an invisible disibility irl it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I’ve seen many “Lannister stans” who either hate him or want to ignore he exists.

sure it’s okay to ask don’t worry ;)

that said: when it comes to tyrion’s fandom treatment especially on tumblr there’s like a whole bunch of like... WE’RE ABLEIST BUT MASKING IT BEHIND FAKE WOKE ARGUMENTS crap going on because not counting the fact that show!tyrion has been what he was since S5 bc dnd can’t obviously write him and stopped giving peter decent material after then and it shows, but like... show!tyrion being nowhere near as complex as the book version is a problem that 99% of the show characters had so I don’t think it’s like a valid argument:

the premise is that tyrion is outside like TUMBLR and the likes circles a clear fan favorite when it comes to the general audience if not the fan favorite - like there’s more tyrion merch than idk jon snow merch and maybe maybe he was 50/50 with dany but like... I think that if we did a general poll tyrion would come out as the most liked character, which... I mean fair tyrion is an a+ character and he’s extremely relatable on a whole shitload of levels and let me tell you if a disabled character is for once the main fan favorite I won’t complain:

problem is beyond the fact that he’s disabled he’s... about everything tumblr hates in the sense that a) man, b) (presumably) straight man who has a lot of sex to deal with his issues, c) his issues are not exactly pleasant to deal with, d) not Standard Attractive, e) basically his one trump card is outsmarting people so it’s really easy to attach the whole AH MANIPULATING SCHEMING ASSHOLE argument to him, f) an abuse victim from at least his father and cersei but we all know men can’t be abused on this website *rolleyes* plus he hates the shit out of cers/ei which like.. is apparently the cardinal sin and the key to being labeled a misogynist always, which automatically means that when it comes to tumblr asoiaf fandom nine times on ten people will ignore the fact that his disability is a reason people discriminate him and that the treatment he received because of it gave him TRAUMA and start going like AH BUT HE’S A MAN AH BUT HE’S RICH which... doesn’t mean he can’t be traumatized even if he has male and money privilege;

for what it’s worth anyway bc as stated okay being a lannister did mean that he had a better upbringing/situation economically than a commoner with dwarfism but that doesn’t make his abuse any less damaging, but people on here just... don’t seem to get it;

but yeah like the point is that male chars on tumblr are already held at different standards than female ones (again theon gets more shit than cersei ever had for doing a lot less horrid stuff) but tyrion as... the mega fan favorite especially in within the male fanbase (reddit/w-org and the likes) is held to an extra standard in the sense that if the dudebro faction likes him then he’s BAD NEWS, which means that the fact that he’s disabled and that it affects his life is thoroughly ignored because they have to cry about how he has male privilege over c. and so she can’t abuse him (which... lmao the day I read that shit in S2 I was so out, but whatever);

anyway thing is: ‘lannister stans’ in my experience is a thing that like... is weird in this fandom because actually I never met a supposed lannister stan who likes all of them or who doesn’t ignore some exist, like.. usually most lannister stans who pretend tyrion doesn’t exist are either c. stans or tywin stans or both and don’t get me started on how this fandom has a weirdass tywin worship thing going on for which they think tyrion killing him is an unforgivable crime when it was basically what that asshole deserved and the narrative is having tyrion go in the downward spiral for shae not for tywin. c. stans usually say they also stan jaime but like... they stan whichever version of jaime they think exist that is compatible for a book ending that has the murder suicide thing happening that doesn’t exist in the books and they ignore tyrion exists same as their fave, but then again here we fall back in the pit where everything c. specifically does is seen as either fight against the patriarchy or feminist rebellion or trauma justification on account of c. being a woman and if a man does it it’s horrid or if she does it to a man then it doesn’t matter, so like... it’s a lost cause;

anyway like if someone say they’re a lannister stan and ignore tyrion when whether they like it or not tyrion is the only lannister in the main five povs (which i’d like to remind everyone are jon dany tyrion arya and bran regardless of whoever is everyone’s fave) and the one that has most narrative weight then like... just say you like c. or tywin and go;

tldr: while I think that the show did tyrion a lot of dirt in order to make him more... idk cleaned up when the book character is good as it is, tumblr fandom is swimming deep in ableism and denying that men can be abused and affected by that when it comes to tyrion’s treatment, never mind in the neverending absolutely shallow argument that’s everywhere in asoiaf fandom which is that no one outside specific group of people has understood that one of the key messages of these books is ‘how you look outside doesn’t mean shit about your personality and people who aren’t standard attractive are people with needs and personality who also deserve love and have a lot to give and will meet someone who’ll give it to them’, because the race is basically shipping beautiful ppl together even if it makes sense and negating at all turns that brienne/arya/tyrion/sandor/anyone else who’s not standard attractive are like... viable romantic partners on an even level with whoever so there’s that too, but like I think that on tumblr it shows that ppl are extremely hypocritical when it comes to tyrion and that it shows that their wokeness stops at the surface bc if you read those books and miss The Fucking Point when it comes to tyrion’s disability... text comprehension where have you gone ;)

also when it comes from c. stans** I just sigh and roll my eyes but then again c. stans generally think c. is the only person in these books with justified issues and trauma reaction and downplay not only how she abuses others but also the effects on the ppl she abuses whether they’re men or women so like... they don’t even admit how she is with jaime do we think they’d admit it for tyrion? doubt that.

**before everyone else jumps on me: with c. stans I mean the vocal side of c. standom where almost everyone is like that and from whom I never saw once an acknowledgment that she actually did abuse him (or anyone kllkjkgdj), not whichever c. stan around who likes her because she’s terrible/recognizes that she’s bad etc, I mean no ill will, if you didn’t feel called out reading it it wasn’t about you, peace and love.