#point to yourself if youre gay and homophobic

[muckyschmuck]

omg redraw of old cat . why

[ravenwatches]

gonna be honest the way veilguard is doing romances is just gay erasure and the enthusiastic response to it has gone mask off homophobic more times than I feel remotely comfortable with

[shizukahaiji]

About to say something controversial but I think some of the Blue Lock fandom is getting way too comfortable with being homophobic

[sarpazoa]

honestly thinking about trans louis is one of the worst things ever since it’s one of the most insanely in-line characterizations that makes everything that much more heartbreaking. i hope we all die

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

A lot of supportive statements use love-centered language: 

Gay love is love. 

It’s so weird to be homophobic, how can you hate people for being in love? 

Love can’t be wrong. 

Love can’t be a sin. 

The gay agenda is just loving your partner. 

If you hate someone for who they love, you are the one who needs to work on yourself.

These are just a few examples, you can probably think of some more at the top of your head. Love-centered rhetoric is omnipresent and for good reasons: it’s often the simplest approach that is the most effective. 

For people who are not part of the community, and especially those in circles where lgbt+ rights are not intuitively seen as something worth fighting for, love-centered language offers an easy connection point. Homosexuality may feel “other” but love does not. We can take this picture that feels familiar and good, and we can say “look, we can change the genders of the people in the picture but nothing else changes. It’s still a loving relationship.” 

And this isn’t some manipulative strategy, it’s just a kickstarter for connection. That’s why it can also work for people within the community! If you struggle with internalized homophobia, with shame or guilt, you too can look at that picture and remind yourself “I am not gross/sick/sinful (or whatever you struggle with), it’s just love and love can’t be wrong”. Love-centered language can be especially comforting and affirming if you feel a bit lost in the more political/technical discussions in lgbt+ spaces. It just takes you back to the basics, to “this is who I am and it’s okay and good to be who I am”. 

But with all that being said: as helpful as it can be, some people in the community just don’t feel that personal connection to love-centered language. This can be for a lot of reasons, for example because they feel like it only covers sexual orientation and not gender identity, or simply because they are not, and perhaps do not wish to ever be, in a romantic relationship. 

In this case, we can say, well, love also includes loving yourself, so we can still say that being lgbt is all about love: love who you love and love who you are! 

But for some people that’ll still feel clunky - and that’s okay. Love-centered language is a lovely tool but it’s also just that: a tool. You can use it or leave it in the toolbox. 

Maybe a joy-centered approach feels more intuitively right for you: life should feel good. Everyone has a right to strive for happiness and live the way that brings them joy. Or an authenticity-centered approach: people are at their best when they live authentically and can express themselves in the ways that feel natural to them. 

If you need that little kickstarter for connection, either to help someone else or to help yourself, that kickstarter can be love - but it doesn’t have to be. 

With all my love (and joy), 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[mariacallous]

Salman Rushdie has just published Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder. In August 2022, he was giving a talk at the Chautauqua Institution in New York. Hadi Matar, a 24-year-old from New Jersey, rushed the stage and stabbed him 15 times. It was astonishing that Salman survived. He lost the sight in one eye and sustained terrible injuries, but he’s still with us and he’s still writing, and unlike Hadi Matar, he’s still worth hearing.

We think of fanatics as stalkers with an obsessive knowledge of their targets.  Like the antisemites who compile lists of Jews in the media or the homophobes who so focus on the details of gay sex they might almost be closet cases

Most terrorists and bigots are not like that. They are like soldiers in an army who kill and hate for no other reason than tradition or men in authority have told them to kill and hate. If we were less fascinated by the pseudo-glamour of violence, we would see them for what they are: dullards and jerks.

In Knife Salman is almost as angered by the sheer lazy stupidity of his wannabee assassin as his violence.

“I do not want to use his name in this account. My Assailant, my would-be Assassin, the Asinine man who made Assumptions about me, and with whom I had a near-lethal Assignation … I have found myself thinking of him, perhaps forgivably, as an Ass.”

The ass “didn’t bother to inform himself about the man he decided to kill. By his own admission he read barely two pages of my writing and watched a couple of YouTube videos”.

That was enough, apparently, along with a little light indoctrination in the Levant.

We know from Matar’s mother that her son changed from a popular young man to a moody religious zealot after visiting her ex-husband in the Hezbollah-controlled town of Yaroun in Lebanon, a mile or so from the Israeli border.

“I was expecting him to come back motivated, to complete school, to get his degree and a job. But instead, he locked himself in the basement. He had changed a lot. He didn't say anything to me or his sisters for months.”

Salman quotes a wonderfully perceptive line from Jodi Picoult

“If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

Rushdie is openly contemptuous, as he has every right to be.

“I see you now at twenty-four,” he writes, “already disappointed by life, disappointed in your mother, your sisters, your father, your lack of boxing talent, your lack of any talent at all; disappointed in the bleak future you saw stretching ahead of you, for which you refused to blame yourself.”

This has always been the way. Readers old enough to remember 1989 when the Ayatollah Khomeini ordered Salman’s execution for writing a blasphemous satire of Islam’s origin story in the Satanic Verses,will know that Khomeini had not read it. Nor had the furious demonstrators in the streets or the regressive leftists and Tory ministers who upbraided him for the non-crime of causing offence.

Those of us who had read the book pointed out that it was a magical realist fiction which contained sympathetic accounts of the racism Muslim immigrants in the UK suffered. Indeed, the Tories of the day loathed Salman, we continued, because of his confrontations with official racism.

But after a while we fell silent. Pleading with his enemies felt demeaning. It gave them undeserved credit, as if they were reasonable people, who could be swayed by evidence rather than just, well, pillocks.

In Knife Salman attempts an imaginary conversation with his persecutor.

OK, he says, Islam, unlike Judaism and Christianity, holds that man is not made in God’s image. God has no human qualities, it says.

But isn’t language a human quality? To have language, God would have to have a mouth, a tongue, vocal cords and a voice, just like a man. The terrorist’s understanding is that God cannot be like a man, however. So, God could not have spoken to Gabriel in Arabic. Gabriel must have translated his message when he came to the prophet.

The angel made it comprehensible to Muhammed by delivering it in human speech which is not the speech of God.

Thus, the version of Islamic instruction Matar received in his basement when he switched from playing video games to listening to Imams was an interpretation of a translation.

“I’m trying to suggest to you that, even according to your own tradition, there is uncertainty. Some of your own early philosophers have suggested this. They say everything can be interpreted, even the Book. It can be interpreted according to the times in which the interpreter lives. Literalism is a mistake.”

For a while, Rushdie says he wants to meet Matar again at the trial, as if he wants to have the argument in the flesh.

He tells a story about Samuel Beckett, which could only have happened to Samuel Beckett.

Beckett was walking through Paris in 1938 when he was confronted by a pimp named Prudent, who wanted money from him. Beckett pushed Prudent away, whereupon the pimp pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the chest, narrowly missing the left lung and the heart.

Beckett was taken to the nearest hospital, bleeding heavily. He only just survived.

You will never guess who paid for his treatment. James Joyce, of course, he did.

Anyway, Beckett went to the pimp’s trial. He met Prudent in the courtroom, and asked him why he had done it. This was the pimp’s reply: “Je ne sais pas, monsieur. Je m’excuse.” (I don’t know, sir. I’m sorry.)

But the more he thought about it, the less Rushdie had to say to his enemy. The idea that you can have theological arguments with a man who wants to kill you for writing a book he hasn’t even read felt ridiculous.

Although popular culture is full of stories about murderers, and true crime podcasts top the charts, killers and fanatics are nearly always less interesting than their victims. More often than not they are just thick. Nasty and vicious, but thick first of all.

We are about to see the stupidity of fanatics deployed on a mass scale. Two thirds of Republican voters (and nearly 3 in 10 Americans) continue to believe that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, and that Joe Biden was not lawfully elected. They think it because that is what Trump told them to think.

Islamists told Matar that Salman was an apostate, and that was all he needed to know. Trump told Republicans the election was stolen and ditto.

If Republicans were consistent people, they would not vote for Trump in 2024. What would be the point? They would have every reason to fear that the deep state would rig the 2024 presidential election as it rigged the 2020 presidential election.

But they will vote for him because, once again, that is what he tells them to do.

In the end there is a limit to how much attention you can pay the vicious and the stupid.

They are not interesting enough, as Rushdie concluded with marvellous disdain as he contemplated the life sentence Matar will face.

"Here we stand: the man who failed to kill an unarmed seventy-five-year-old writer, and the now 76-year-old writer. Somewhat to my surprise, I find I have very little to say to you. Our lives touched each other for an instant and then separated. Mine has improved since that day, while yours has deteriorated. You made a bad gamble and lost. I was the one with the luck… Perhaps, in the incarcerated decades that stretch out before you, you will learn introspection, and come to understand that you did something wrong. But you know what? I don’t care. This, I think, is what I have come to this courtroom to say to you. I don’t care about you, or the ideology that you claim to represent, and which you represent so poorly. I have my life, and my work, and there are people who love me. I care about those things.”

[canichangemyblogname]

Hot take? A show with queer people in it from the beginning was never queerbaiting and— very literally and technically— never could. In the first episode, a gay man comes out to his family. And he doesn’t stop being gay after that; it’s a major plot point and part of his character going forward. You’ve had a married lesbian couple from the jump who are proud and unapologetic about their love for each other. The story has also portrayed several queer couples and stories in episodic plots, including featuring queer weddings.

Buck didn’t suddenly “become” bi. Queerness is not when straight people “turn” queer. He has been attracted to men the entire time; he has always been bi. Understanding yourself and your sexuality as a queer person is often so difficult under heteronormativity. Sometimes, it takes time.

Hell— Buck checking a guy out some time in season 3 or getting flustered by the idea he might like a guy, etc, etc, are not even examples “queerbaiting,” nevermind how the show already features queer stories.

I genuinely think some of y’all are just mad that he’s not sucking face with the man you want him to, and are being weirdly homophobic about it. “Buck kissing this man is kinda off-putting, lmao.” “Buck and his bf’s relationship is awkward. IDK, but it weirds me out.” “There’s something so cringe about Buck’s relationship—” “Who dates someone they haven’t been friends with for years first? It’s kinda creepy…” “I think their relationship is a weird mess. It’s not as meaningful as a slow burn.”

Life isn’t fanfiction and fanfiction tropes don’t make good writing. Most relationships start out with a “hey, I’m interested in you, let’s get to know each other.” You’re just transparently uncomfortable with two men expressing that interest in each other outside the arbitrary rules you’ve established to make a mlm relationship “legitimate” or “meaningful.”

[Fanfiction] tropes— from “there’s only one bed” to “we’re forced together, but fall in love anyway”— are responses to the sex-negativity and purity culture norms forced upon gender and sexual minorities. They provide a workaround for these norms but never a direct challenge. It’s like the Family Guy episode “Prick Up Your Ears,” where conservative Christian abstinence-only sex education leads to kids having ear sex. Ear sex is the workaround to the abstinence and purity rules they’d been taught, not the challenge. We still have stringent rules around who can touch whom and under what circumstances. Tropes reflect this. So, a trope like “there’s only one bed” provides the characters with a justification for their intimacy without directly challenging why it is taboo.

You’ve convinced yourself that shipping— and thus the tropes it employs— is more subversive than actual representation, and the people caught in the crossfire are actual queer people.

Also— for the love of fuck— stop comparing every mlm relationship to RW&RB.

[genderkoolaid]

the most annoying thing abt anti-kink queer people is that when you point out that gayness has always been considered a kink by homophobes, they jump in with "umm but being gay isn't a kink!! that's homophobic!!!! saying that gay people and kinky people are in the same fight means you think gay people are gross perverts!!!! homophobia!!!!!!!!!!!"

like congratulations! you are doing exactly what they want!!!! in your desperate search for social acceptability you have tried to place yourself on the same side as straight people ("people with normal, non-offensive sexualities" vs "people with dangerous, offensive, strange sexualities") not understanding that they will never actually let you have the same social acceptance they do while ALSO helping them hurt the exact people they want to hurt who should be your closest allies!!! your hubristic desire for assimilation into the heterosexual american dream will most likely end with you thrown aside as a gross fag the first chance they get while in the mean time you are becoming an arm of the exact cisheteropatriarchy you claim to be against!!! aaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!

they will ALWAYS see us as gross perverts. they will see YOU as a gross pervert, a kinky freak, a sex criminal, even if all you ever do is politely hold hands with your partner and kiss them on the cheek. instead of trying to find a grosser pervert that you can help them condemn so they release you from gross perverthood, maybe try asking this question: what's so wrong with gross perverts?

[drdemonprince]

I recently learned that bisexuals have higher rates of poverty than gay and lesbian folks -way higher, actually. Do you know of any study or essay that goes into the possible causes? I can only find sources describing the problem, none actually hypothesizing

Nobody knows why, but there are a few competing theories. I think what most of the reports on this subject fail to take into account is that bisexuals are a larger segment of the population than either lesbians or gay men -- and so we're really comparing apples to oranges here, in terms of demographic size and perhaps even variance. Bisexuals are the largest LGBT group and we may see a greater statistical diversity of outcomes within that group than in others.

The prevailing explanation that I've seen is that bisexuals are less likely to find a community "home" -- their identity is less socially legible and visible and so they may be less likely to access LGBTQ resources, forge community ties, or even to really recognize themselves as a member of the community deserving of such things. Not knowing yourself or your people while still being marginalized can be really damaging.

Bisexuals also face the dual vulnerability of both being queer and potentially being in romantic relationships with straight people who are homophobic and will retaliate against them for their queerness. The domestic violence and sexual assault vulnerabilities bisexuals face are doubtless related to their economic outcomes.

Sometimes, these dynamics get misreported as gay men and lesbians oppressing bisexuals, but that's not really the mechanism at work here. It's relationships with cishet men. I believe it was Butchanarchist who pointed out that lesbians face the same rate of domestic violence as bisexual women when they're in relationships with men. Of course, fewer lesbians on average are in relationships with men. So in reality it's the on-average greater proximity with and vulnerability to cishet people that bisexuals tend to suffer from. Gay men and lesbians are sometimes (but far from always!) able to get more distance from their oppressors than bisexuals are. But the oppressors in both cases are the same.

[gayleviticus]

I think the fine point of the appeal to 'love your neighbour as yourself' to put forward gay affirming theology is that it's not just saying that accepting gay people is loving your neighbour so checkmate - it's arguing that not being affirming is actively unloving and hurtful.

and so it's making the point that given a choice between addressing the issue of homosexuality in an affirming or non affirming way, we should err on the side of affirmation bc the alternative is to risk hating our neighbour.

I think that fine detail doesn't always get picked up on. the argument shouldn't be bare minimum 'well, being gay isn't hurting anyone so it doesn't violate the love your neighbour rule', but rather 'homophobic theology is harmful and makes you hate your neighbour'

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Revenge at the Frat House

"On your knees!" I pointed my mind control ray at the Co-Presidents of the frat. Their eyes glazed over and their legs buckled to the floor. I knew these jocks were finally mine.

The Alpha Tau Beta house was a giant mess, but it was easy to find on Frat Row. I crossed the overgrown lawn nervously, carrying my science experiment up to the front door.

This fraternity was well known for being intolerant. They'd berated me countless times at the university, but these idiots had no idea who they were beating up. Sure, I'm gay, but I was studying neuroscience, and this device was my crowning achievement. Hunter and Josh were my first test subjects.

I didn't honestly think it would work so well. The two athletes dropped quickly to their knees when I commanded. Their eyes fluttered lazily as they wobbled on the hardwood. It definitely looked like they were ready to be reprogrammed.

"What's going on..." the blonde jock groaned.

Hunter was the school's basketball star. Everybody fawned over his perfect smile. Nearly every advertisement for the school had the guy on it, wearing a sleeveless jersey that showed off his impressive wingspan.

Now, his muscular arms dangle limply at his side, twitching occasionally.

"What's going on is revenge!" I cried, "Remember me? You led your pack of fraternity goons over and had them rough me up because I had a rainbow flag on."

"Oh yeah... " he replied dumbly.

"Well things are different now," I continued, "You won't target any gay dude again!"

"I won't..." he automatically agreed.

"It was crazy that you were ever such a homophobe. After all, you're gay yourself."

"I am...?" his blank face furrowed in confusion.

"Oh yeah," I pushed the suggestion further, "You love men. You're the gayest guy on campus. Nothing makes you happier than flirting with all dudes you can."

"I'm the gayest man on campus..." the fraternity jock agreed with a cheesy smile. He seemed happy to find a new calling in life.

I know he meant it. My device was designed to embed these suggestions into his mind, body, and personality. Hunter was a full-on fruitcake, now. It wouldn't be long before he was coming onto his fraternity brothers or getting an erection with his teammates in the shower. As far as he knew, he had always loved men, and he couldn't wait to flaunt his attraction loudly.

"And you," I turned to Josh.

The second frat bro was slumped onto the floor with his jaw hanging open. He looked half asleep with the drool hanging off his chin.

"Me..." Josh slurred.

This guy was on the wrestling team, and while he wasn't the leader of the bullies like Hunter, he was almost always the first to get physical. I still remember the feeling of his beefy arms around my neck as he taught me his lesson. Now it was my turn to teach him a lesson.

"Josh, you're not gay like your buddy, but you are a wimp," I explain.

"I'm a wimp...?" he mumbles deliriously.

"Yup! Sure, you're strong and athletic, but you're a total pushover."

"I'm a pushover..." he let the words sink in.

"Literally every male you come across will intimidate you. And anyone that intimidates you can boss you around. It doesn't matter if they're older, younger, weaker, or stronger. They get to use you as they want, but you don't mind. Your body is just a tool to be used."

"I'm a tool..." Josh agreed.

"In fact, your mouth is the most useful thing about you," I added, "I mean think about all the things you can use it for. If your bro's shoes are dirty, you can lick them clean for him. Maybe he's sweaty after a work out; just offer to suck the sweat out of his pits. Heck, maybe he's too lazy to walk to the bathroom; your mouth is perfect for that too. There are so many ways to put that face hole to use."

"My mouth is a tool..." his lips fumbled the words but there was conviction in his eyes.

Josh was fully convinced of his extremely submissive personality. He was already normalizing different situations in his head where another dude would use him as they wanted, and it felt completely natural.

"Alright, I'm going to wake you two up," I decided.

Thumping them on the forehead with my mind control device, I snapped the fraternity jocks out of their subconscious state.

"Woah," Hunter winced, "What's going on?"

The basketball star caught his bearings, noticing me as I stood over him. Hunter had never looked at me with anything other than animosity, but in that moment, he licked his lips and batted his eyes. I could tell he liked what he saw.

"Well, hello handsome," the stud purred as he checked me out.

Hunter rose from the ground and sidled up to me, planting his massive palms on my waist as he stared down into my eyes. I knew he was displaying his most charming smile.

"Anything I can do for you, daddy?" he snickered mischievously.

"I'm not interested, at the moment," I said.

"Playing hard to get?" Hunter scoffed in disappointment and turned away with a sigh, "Josh, get over here!"

The burly wrestler flinched as his buddy called to him. Josh was still on the floor, trying to make his bulky frame as small as possible in the presence of real men. He'd only been able to cast nervous glances at our shoes as we stood over him, but he quickly scurried over to Hunter when he was called.

"Come on," Hunter growled at Josh, "Let me show this guy what I can do with my tongue. I'll see if he isn't interested then!"

Hunter quickly grabbed the back of his fraternity brother's head and pulled him up into a slobbery kiss. Josh barely had time to react, but he wasn't in a position to pull away. The pair of homophobic jerks made out with each other, with Hunter moaning loudly and Josh trying to keep up.

I enjoyed the scene. Hopefully, the rest of the fraternity would be back from that party soon. I wanted to see them walk in on their Co-Presidents making out in the living room.

Now that I knew my technology worked, I was planning to convert the rest of the brothers. They needed to understand Hunter and Josh's new roles in the frat house.

Soon, they would all be bullying Hunter for how gay he'd become, and they'd be using Josh in any way that amused them. I'd definitely gotten the revenge I wanted.

[melanieph321]

Dominik Szoboszlai x Black Reader - First Sight Part 1/8

The Spark

@trentione I got the gif from your page. It's what inspired me to write this story 🙌

This story is about the night reader met her boyfriend Dominik and the series of crazy events that led up to the beginning of their love story.

Enjoy!

"I don't wanna go."

"Y/N you can't say that when we're already here."

You were not antisocial, let's make that clear. But after a week of cramming for your nursing exam, the last thing you wanted to do was spend your Friday night at some random guy's apartment.

"Come on, Sami Chun and his friends are cool, we'll have a great time." Your friend, Tara, had to push you up the flight of steps up to the apartment, however, you paused mid step. "Friends? What do you mean his friends?"

She shrugged. "Well he said that he already had some people over, and that I should bring a friend too. So I brought you." She smiled.

"Great." You sighed. "It better not be all guys."

It was. Three guys joined by two naive girls. "You came!" Sami exclaimed. He welcomed you at the door, and everything about him screamed "I sell vapes to underage kids", mainly, because of the tooth pick that he wiggled between his newly bleached teeth, or the overzied white t-shirt he wore that stated that "Surf is life."

"Come in." He waved. " There's loads of beer in the fridge."

You followed him inside, clinging tightly to your purse. Tara seemed giddy with excitement whilst you were sure to be in the beginning of a movie meant to raise awareness about date rape drugs.

"Everyone, this is the girl I was talking about, Tara and her friend...."

It was a small apartment, small but surprisingly tidy for an engineering student. You turned the corner to what looked to be a bedroom turned into a living room. Your eyes swept past the two guys slouching one the sofa, instead frowning at the leather coasters beaneath the glasses of beer set on the table.

"Y/N?"

"Ouch." You groaned, as Tara's elbow stabbed you in the ribs.

"Introduced yourself." She hissed.

"What?"

Tara's eyes darted to her left, reffering to the guy's whose eyes were on you. "Introduce yourself." She repeated, through clenched teeth.

You raised a hand, waving awkwardly. "Hi, I'm Y/N and I'm an alcoholic."

Tara's head dropped to her hands, covering her face, disappointed and embarrassed by your response. However, your attention was drawn to the guys on the sofa, particularly the one with the dimples that flourished when he laughed. It lit something within you, a sudden spark that brought heat to your face. He was cute, dangerously cute. Like, let's rob a bank together cute. Or please let me sit on your pretty face cute. Except for the black tumbleweed growing out of his scalp, he was perfect.

"You guys want something to drink?" Sami offered, having to speak up as his friends laughter was contagious, causing the other guy, the one with the faded afro, to give away a thigh slapping laugh.

"Yeah, let me help you get it." Tara muttered, already regretting having brought you with her. She was clearly into Sami, wanting to impress him.

"Um, where's the bathroom?" You asked.

"Just down the hall and to the left." Sami instructed. He then disappeared into the kitchen with Tara. You nodded your head, excusing yourself as you left the guys on the sofa, effortlessly avoiding eye contact with the one whose face you'd like to sit on.

You took your time in the bathroom, snooping through cabinets as they were filled woth glamorous products that you didn't even keep at your own place. "Who is this guy?" You asked at one point, turning to read the label on the vitamin face serum, containin chemicals that guaranteed clearance of blackheads. Sami was either playing for another team, or very fond of his skin. Then again, it was more than homophobic to assume that only gay men had skincare routines.

"Fuck." You gasped as a knock on the bathroom door interrupted your snooping.

"You done in there?"

"Just a minute!"

You rushed to put everything back where you found it, only to be startled by Mr Let Me Sit On Your Face, as you went to unlock the door. He displayed a poisonous grin.  "Are you good?"

"Um..." Great, he had an accent too. One you didn't recognize where it was from. "...sure." You said.

"You sure?"

"Sure." You nodded, taking a step to the side. "The bathroom is all yours."

He chuckled. "Well, I didn't really have to go. Your friend was asking where you went and I offered to go look."

"Oh." There it was again, that spark in your chest.

"I'm assuming you were snooping through Sami's belongings."

"What? No, I wasn't."

Thank God you were born black otherwise your face would have been crimson right now.

"You sure?" He enjoyed seeing you sweat, you could tell.

"Yeah, I'm sure. You don't even have any proof."

"Well, your friend said that you probably were snooping and that's why you were gone for so long."

Fuck. He got you there. But then he leaned forward, his cologne ambushing your nostrils when he whispered, "Don't worry,  I won't tell." Again, you thank god for gifting you with your dark skin, otherwise it would have given you away. Given away how much he was turning you on.

"There you are." Tara said, seeing you trailing your steps behind Mr Let Me Sit On Your Face. The two of you entered the living room. It was now full of smoke by the way. Evaporating smoke that smelled like bubblegum cherry. Sami was passing around his vape pen, offering it arround to anyone who wanted a hit. Of course Tara wanted to smoke, blowing on Sami's pen as if he had offered to put his dick in her mouth.

"You want?" Mr Let Me Sit On Your Face said, offering you to take a hit of his own vape pen.

"I'm allergic." You replied, or more so, lied.

"Oh."

It was funny, him pulling back the pen as if its tip would burn you.

"Who's this?" You asked, leaning towards Sami's other friend who was also cute, but not as cute as Mr Let Me Sit On Your Face.

"You've never heard of Spitfire?" He asked suprised, turning up the volume to what you could only assumed to be some subculture British rapper.

"Trent only likes music that you can't dance to." Mr Let Me Sit On Your Face leaned in to whisper, his breath close to your ear, the smell of sour candy awakening the hairs on the back of your neck. Your turned to him, glaring curiously. "You dance?"

He grinned. "I'd dance with you."

"Shit. I think we're out of beer." Sami said, tossing the last can in the bin. "Someone's gonna have to make another beer run."

"I'll go." You volunteered, straightening your skirt as you stood up from having been vedged between Trent and Mr Let Me Sit On Your Face.

"Y/N?" Tara questioned, an anxious look on your face. "You're not thinking about going alone are you?"

You shrugged.  "Why not? The shop is only around the corner, no? We passed it on our way here."

"Yes, but you've been drinking."

"I'll go with her."

There was movment behind you. The spark that lit within you already told you who it was.

"See, don't worry babe. Dom will go with her."

Tara looked to blush as Sami threw a reassuring arm around her shoulders, addressing her as "babe". That was the last of Tara's worries, she practically forgot about you after that.

"Your name is Dom?" You said, turning to Mr Let Me Sit On Your Face as the two of you went to put on your shoes in the hallway. He smiled, "What did you think it was?"

"Um..." You do not want to know buddy.

"It's short for Dominik but Trent doesn't let people we know call me that since he had a bully in primary school with the same name."

"So you remind of him, Trent's bully?"

The two of you stepped out of the apartment and took the elevator down. The night was cold once you were fully exposed to it, however, your jean jacket brought you some comfort.

"Apart from the name, I don't really think so. I don't think Trent would want to live with someone who reminded him of his childhood bully."

"So the two of you are roommates?" You asked as you and Dominik turned the corner, on the pursuit to buy beer from the corner shop down the road.

"And lovers." He grinned

"Oh, like me and Tara?"

His laughter echoed in the night, not expecting to meet his match. Little did you know that after the following events of this night, you would have met yours too.

[kalamity-jayne]

Sorry for asking but I am a cis male teenager (well, I thought I was.) but lately I have realized I think I might be a trans girl? I am very scared to drop my masculinity. How did you find out you were trans if that’s okay to ask?

Of course it's ok! I am always happy to help someone who is questioning their gender. However, this is actually a pretty loaded question, because while there is a lot of talk about "when my egg cracked" in trans circles, figuring out you're trans isn't always attributable to any one singular event. Some folks might crack through and emerge from their egg in one swift motion but that is not true for everyone, it certainly wasn't true for me. Sure I could tell about the moment the first crack in my shell appeared, but a single crack in the egg is a far cry from actually breaking out. For many it's a process that can involve a series of revelations and tends to require lots of self reflection and learning how to love yourself. So, there is no quick and easy answer for this. However, I think my story will have a number of different lessons relevant to your question.

Before getting into all that though, I feel I must point out that cisgender folks rarely ask themselves these kinds of questions and when they do entertain these thoughts it's brief and comes with very little agony. The fact you have gone so far as to reach out to trans woman for advice, the fact the you are clearly worried by the prospect of being trans, is a pretty clear indicator that you probably are trans. Regardless of whether you actually are transgender or not, I want you to know that either way, it's ok. You will be ok, no matter what conclusions you come to.

Now, the story of how I figured out I was trans. Bear in mind, the first “aha moment” was 20 yrs ago and things were very different back then. I was about 17yrs old at the time and the term transgender didn't have the currency then that it does now, there wasn't the robust set of terminology that we have today, there were far fewer resources to turn to, no social media, and the overall public opinion was significantly more hostile towards anything LGBT. Anyway, more below the cut.

I didn't follow the typical trans narrative of the time in the sense that, as a child I didn't really care about my clothes so long as my favorite cartoon characters were on 'em, I liked toys typically marketed towards boys, I looked like a boy and everyone referred to me as a boy. So I thought I was a boy. However, I do have a vague memory from early childhood, somewhere between the ages of 4-6, of sneaking into my mother’s room and stealing a pair of her satin underwear and trying it on (it surely would have been too big on me but I remember liking the texture of the fabric) and hiding it under my bed. This memory has since been confirmed during my adulthood by my brother who shared a room with me at the time and had apparently found the hidden stash.

From an early age I was explicitly shunted towards masculinity. I was regularly told to “stop acting like a girl,” and “quit crying like a girl,” and even at one point to “stop walking like a girl,” by my peers and one of my brothers. By the time I was a teenager I was doing my best to be as masculine as possible going so far as joining the highschool wrestling team, a sport that is as homophobic as it is homoerotic, and I hated every minute of it because being manly didn't feel natural to me (and it definitely didn't stop the bullying). It felt like I was trying to ice skate uphill. I fit in but only imperfectly for I was merely acting.

I was also very confused about my sexuality. I thought maybe I was gay or bisexual (turns out the latter) but that didn’t really explain what I was feeling. Around 17yrs old I got curious about transsexuals, thinking maybe the answers would be found there and hoped on to the early and oh so clunky internet. Now I knew of transsexuals conceptually but I didn't know anything about them. Sadly, pornography was really the only reliable way to actually see what a trans body looked like back then. I was stunned because the women I saw did not look at all the way I expected. I was blown away by how so many of them, genitalia aside, looked indistinguishable from cisgender women. And they were all absurdly beautiful. I felt an immediate attraction but there was something else I felt too, envy. And that realization was the first crack in my eggshell.

After that I couldn't get the thought of crossdressing out of my head. So, I dug through a box of my mother's old clothes and took a few items she no longer wore, an old white tennis skirt and a very very 70s sleeveless orange blouse. I was so comfortable in those clothes and when I looked at myself in the mirror I felt good, really good. So, I continued exploring, shaved off all of of my body hair, went to department stores that were open late at night to buy girl clothes (deathly afraid someone would recognize me), I would stay up late at night to watch HBO because at midnight they would occasionally air stuff about trans people, (I remember two documentary shorts in particular and the movie Soldier’s Girl) and I scoured the internet for more information. The internet search brought me to a website called TG list (at least I think that’s what it was called, this was 20yrs ago after all) which was a directory of resources ranging from The Breast Form Store (which still exists!), a myriad of gender identity quizzes (I took nearly every single one), and Susan’s Place.

Susan’s place was one of the few reliable places to hear from actual transgender adults. Unfortunately, while Susan's Place had a lot of useful information the forums there were full of horror stories, a never-ending supply of all the things those women had suffered. So needless to say, there was little to no positivity around transness to give me hope. I was afraid to call myself trans as a result, afraid of what it meant for my life, my future, and my physical safety (you have to remember that back then Mathew Shepard wasn’t old news, his tragedy was practically current events). So I called myself a crossdresser but for reasons I didn't understand at the time I deeply resented that label. I think deep down, no matter how much I tried to deny it and bury it, a part of knew I wanted to be a girl. So when I came out to my parents as a crossdresser and explicitly told them I wasn't trans, that I didn’t have any desire to transition to female, there was that lil voice at the back of my mind calling me a liar. That voice would follow me until my late 20s.

Coming out was a real struggle for me because not only did I think my life would literally be in jeopardy, I thought everyone would think I was making it up, having not followed the stereotypical models of transsexuality. When I came out to my parents they didn't disown me or anything but they were noticeably uncomfortable around me when I was in girl mode. At a certain point I needed their help (credit card) to buy a gaff for tucking and that was when my parents, out of a misguided desire to protect me, pushed me back into the egg. Because of their rejection I spent the rest of highschool and most of my college years trying to hold the egg together with even more denial and by doubling down on masculinity. While I did have some fun during my college years, on balance I was miserable and depressed. I chafed at my male costume and I knew I was lying to myself the entire time, and I hurt myself a great deal.

During my senior year of college I started privately dabbling with crossdressing again, the desire had been nagging at me incessantly. A short time after graduating I met my wife who accepted that side of me and she introduced me to the BDSM/kink community, and the overall culture of nonjudgmental acceptance there cracked the egg for good, because is provided spaces besides my own room where I felt safe being a girl. From that point on I slowly but surely came out of the egg, first calling myself a crossdresser, then genderfluid for awhile, then GENDA passed in NY making me an explicitly protected class and for the next 2 yrs I presented as a they/them genderqueer woman 100% full time without HRT (I was still reluctant to call myself a woman).

I wrestled a long time with the choice to go on HRT. Ultimately that was always a big stumbling block for me. Therapy had gotten me pretty far but I was still afraid of so much and was unsure I would be happy with the changes because my parents had initially rejected me as their daughter in very paternalistic fashion I struggled to trust my own instincts. I still struggle with that sometimes. Eventually, I befriended a trans woman in my neighborhood who pointed out HRT works very slowly and that it takes a long time for any permanent changes to take root. So, she suggested I give it a try and if it didn't feel right I could stop.

I was also taking gender identity quizzes again. Now most of these claim to be diagnostic and those ones a generally misogynistic garbage (they ask stupid questions like, “are you good at math?” and assign a gendered value to the answer) but I happened upon one that started with the disclaimer that it wasn't diagnostic and instead only offered questions that are good to think with. Two questions in particular were very helpful. The first asked, "If you could take a pill that would allow you to wake up tomorrow as a girl, would you take it?" My answer was a hesitant yes, but that yes was bolstered by the next question, "If you could take a pill that would allow you to wake up as a man, in your current body, but without any dysphoria or desires to be feminine, would you take it?" My answer was an emphatic no because that would have felt like killing an important part of myself off. I then at the age of 33yrs old started HRT and 4yrs in I am incredibly happy. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Now, I know that was a lot of fucking text to read but I wrote all of that because I know the prospect of maybe being a trans girl feels scary to you right now but I want to assure you that as daunting as it may seem there is so much about being a trans woman that is full of beauty and joy. I love my trans womanhood and despite the hardships, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. In fact the opposite is true. Knowing what I know now, I would give up almost everything in order to be a woman. So if you feel like you want to give girlhood a try, do it! You can take small incremental steps and you can always stop if it doesn’t feel right, either way you will gain a degree of self knowledge most cisgender people lack completely and that is absolutely priceless! Plus, unlike me when I was a teen, there’s all kinds of resources and information available to you now and an entire community of people ready to help you, and unlike the women in the forums from my past, we aren’t all gloom and doom.

As for your fear of giving up masculinity, don’t let that fear lure you into the denial trap like it did me. Denial is like quicksand, once you’re in it becomes hard to get out, the more you struggle the deeper in you go and it is so very suffocating. And the thing is, you actually don’t have to give it all up. Back when I was presenting full time as woman without HRT, I felt like I had to be ultra feminine all the time, full face of make-up, dress, heels, the whole nine yards. Now that I’m 4 yrs in with HRT I don’t feel that pressure anymore and have since reclaimed certain aspects of masculinity I actually liked. I sill like presenting high femme from time to time but these days I mostly rock a soft butch aesthetic, flannel/t-shirt, jeans and the only makeup I wear daily is just a lil bit of blush. At certain point you become comfortable and realize that gender is just a sandbox to play in and experiment. Masculine and Feminine are just concepts, they aren’t real! so regardless of being cis or trans, don’t let those mere concepts box you in! Just do what feels natural and right to you!

I hope all of that was helpful to you anon, and that at the very least you walk away from this knowing you don’t have to have all of the answers about yourself right now. Now, I don't no the particulars of your situation, so I’m happy to speak with you further if you have follow up questions, just send another anon.

Best of luck to you anon, I am rooting for you!

Big hugs,

Mother Calamity

[anxietyfluffy]

I dont try to make posts like this as it sucks all the fun n life out of the tags at points but theres a person in the tags rn who is openly homophobic and I feel the need to call them out on it. The user in question is @bradwongsgffrrrr . They change their name often from what i saw, so here is the post in question, which is a ship edit of Diego and Evie. Another edit of theirs gets mentioned a lot as well, which is an edit they did of Joe Warren and Louis Leroux

Here is the discussion that happened where they said some pretty gross stuff:

The reason me as well as others assumed the Warren & Leroux edit was a ship edit was cus of the fact people reblogged n replied to it saying how they loved the ship as well as the fact the audio used was a ship audio. Anyways, just wanna warn you all as of there are plenty of queer artists in the CC fandom, so seeing this kind of stuff is always sucky. I will also say, religion is NEVER an excuse for homophobia. Even if you yourself aren't comfortable with queer people, especially in a fandom like this you need to keep it to yourself as even the game itself goes against your beliefs with having openly queer characters. What you personally believe in doesn't give you the moral highground to sit there and judge others for living their lives, especially if it isnt hurting anyone. While there are also other suspicions me as well as others have noticed with certain accounts only reblogging and liking newer/popular posts in the tag and then this person's content, them being around the same time on the exact same date and being very obviously newer accounts with all similar writing styles and images that couldve been taken from google, Pinterest or Tumblr and easily can be accounts that were made for possibly botting notes on this persons posts -

-The main issue is just the homophobia and the doubling down on said homophobia, especially in a fandom as queer as this one. And its clear this person is truly just outright homophobic, it is clear when you read through the messages shown above that they at the very least have a distain towards gay people.

Again, sorry I have to make a post like this, i always hate posting drama-related things instead of fanart or content for yall but this is important as i know so many people in this fandom, esp people who make content for it here, are queer and i dont want people having to experience this. So, I recommend blocking them.

[shaunashipman]

(I would like to acknowledge that I myself am a queer woman, and if any queer men want to tell me to shut up and delete this, please do)

This line encapsulates everything that is wrong with your pov. Men and women are both humans at the end of the day. We are not at all incapable of understanding each other or judging portrayals of relationships that might not include our own sex. For example, there are obviously women who liked the dinner scene (such as yourself) but there are also gay men who did not like it. What does that tell you? You can't just say that the gay men who didn't like it are valid and the women aren't even when they have similar reasoning. The reasoning is what should be focused on. Making it about gender is so unnecessary and just boils down to telling women to shut up because you think they're too stupid to judge a scene that was written by women to begin with.

my pov is that queer men know mlm relationships better than me, because I will never be a man in a relationship with a man. and this whole thing is about gay men—yes, not all, but a fucking lot—saying what they felt about both bucktommy AND about how woman, who outnumber them by a lot in fandom, treat mlm men and ships in general, only for bunch of women to talk over them. to reply to their posts about their feeling as a queer man in fandom by saying "fandom's not really for men". so if queer men thought I was speaking over them in this discussion, yes I want them to tell me so.

sorry, but you can't fully understand something you will never experience. I will never fully understand being a queer man, I will never fully understand being a black woman, I will never fully understand being a physically disabled person. but what I can do is listen. something that specifically the women in this fandom have been refusing to do, to the point of doubling down on dangerous homophobic rhetoric.

as for the dinner scene, the dislike of it, at least from the women? is because they were putting themselves in buck's shoes, when they are not a queer man. multiple women saying the scene was mocking women's trauma is them putting their perspective over the perspective of the characters, neither of whom are women therefore no women's trauma is being mocked. but these women can't help centering themselves.

and I don't think these women are too stupid to judge it. I think these women are too wilfully blind to judge it, as they have been with every other bucktommy scene, because in addition to superimposing their own experiences over the characters, they go into each scene already hating it, and instead of acknowledging that, they twist and outright ignore parts of the scene to fit the view they already had.

[mlmarint]

so here’s my thoughts about the “daddy issues” thing with the whole anti tommy shit

you guys are such fucking hypocrites

i would be totally on board with someone bringing that it’s not okay to sexualize someone’s trauma if that was the case. but guess whaaaaaaat???? THATS NOT THE CASE. and it’s not “terrible dialogue” either, there’s so many scenes with terrible dialogue in this show, but some of you should really stop and ask yourselfs WHY you didn’t like this one.

if eddie was the one to make a comment like that some of you’d be OVER THE MOON. i’ve NEVER seen ANYONE in this fandom talk about how a LOT of the buddie explicit fanfics have a daddy kink on it. and before any more comments, i REALLY HATE buddie fics with daddy kink because it always reminds me of christopher and do NOT want to think about christopher in that moment.

“that’s not the problem. the problem is that once again buck it’s with someone who doesn’t care about his trauma” oh grow the fuck up.

tommy LITERALLY decided to not date buck because he thought buck wasn’t ready for it, he gave buck his space, he at first didn’t want to go to maddie and chimney wedding with buck because he thought buck was acting on impulse and wanted him to take his time to be okay with who he is, and after he was sure he tried his best to be on time to his date.

and also!!!! buck is a little “freak” in bed guys, he was a literal sex addict in season 1. every now and then the show reminds us this (like the ring cutter scene), also this is the second buck’s relationship with someone who’s like older than him. i wouldn’t be surprised if buck has a canon daddy kink because GUESS WHAAAAAT some people who have daddy issues??? THEY HAVE DADDY KINKS!!!!!

but you guys wanna know what i truly think?

i think that some of you (these tommy antis) are only here for buddie. you’re not here for the show, you’re here for buck and eddie. you’re not here for all these amazing characters!!! you’re not here for the fact that buck being a bisexual man discovering that side of him in his 30s its one of the most important things that happened in this show when we’re talking about lgbt+ characters and the importance of having something like that to be on media.

you’re not here for bi buck, you’re only here if this means that eddie will be with him. you’ll won’t be here if they decide to give a eddie queer discover story non related to buck on season 8 (and i truly think we’re going that way).

you only liked buck and tommy when you could sexualize two man kissing.

if you want to talk about something that is not okay that tommy did why don’t you rewatch the older episodes he’s in? he wasn’t a nice person back then and honestly i would like for them to bring that up!!! for them to show how a person can change and grow out of their prejudice and realize that they don’t need to be an ass and be okay with who they truly are. in fact why don’t we talk about how they hinted the fact that tommy didn’t like who he was when he was working with gerard? that he doesn’t like gerard and that he was a toxic person and that tommy grow up with a racist, homophobic and sexist dad???? that’s why he wasn’t a nice person back than but he’s different now and he’s a proud gay man and that once again that’s a nice thing to have on media because it shows how it’s NEVER too late to come in terms with who you are and change the way your are for better????

tommy isn’t perfect (and no one that he hurt before seems to actually care about it cause he did truly changed), but that doesn’t mean you need to cancel the guy FOR ONE SINGLE comment!!!! part of the 911 team made fun of buck for being sexually assaulted by his therapist but no one canceled them for it, did they?

honestly i am so fucking tired with fandoms in general.

at this point i hope we don’t get buddie being canon FOR A LONG TIME cause i want you guys to suffer with tommy and buck being in a happy relationship.

just remember: eddies it’s not canonical queer yet, there’s hints of it and they probably are going on that road with the whole thing they’re saying on interviews, BUT buck IS BISEXUAL and HE IS dating TOMMY you like it or not and it’s by far the most healthy relationship he EVER had in this show, can’t you be happy for him????

you can be a buddie shipper and still enjoy bucktommy because what we should truly want more than anything it’s buck and eddie to be happy with who they are.

and I SAY ALL THIS BEING A BUDDIE SHIPPER FOR YEARS