#poor Kevin and his chili

[wight-rabbit]

I made a cinnamon roll apple pie for my birthday today, said happy birthday to the ground

[ninjadudettekira]

Yk what I’m posting about Albedo on here. How things should’ve went:  -Good Copy, Bad Copy:  Albedo actually explained about his fuck up, and asked for help. We now know that they met when Ben and Gwen were kids. If Albedo just talked shit on Azmuth, I’m 100% sure Ben would’ve been on board. At this point it's assumed Ben hasn't seen Azmuth in years, probably since he originally took the Omnitrix off. -The Final Battle Part 1/2 How did Vilgax even know about Albedo? Albedo knew that partnership was gonna be betrayal, and this dumbass went along with it anyway. He had the Ultrimatrix, he didn't need Vilgax. The "fix" for this episode? Ben didn’t immediately forget that Albedo was there in part 2 and leave him on the ship. How’d Albedo even escape without a watch? Fucking traumatizing this poor Galvan trapped as a human even more. -Double or Nothing BEN SHOULD’VE WENT OUT FOR CHILI FRIES WITH ALBEDO. That could’ve solved their problems. Hell Albedo probably could’ve explained “Hey this is what I’m doing you imbecile, once I'm back to being a Galvan you'll never see me again.” [Roll credits] -Night of the Living Nightmare That’s the most concerned I’ve ever heard Ben be for Albedo, and Gwen and Kevin. If they got a Galvan doctor, they probably could’ve bugged Azmuth and be like, “Sup asshole, change your old assistant back. Your species lives for thousands of years, even Albedo doesn't deserve this torture." (Cause Azmuth is apparently 1700+ years old??? Albedo's like 100+ based on statements from the crew on the Ben 10 Wiki) Am I touching Omniverse with a 10 foot pole? Nope. I like Omniverse don’t get me wrong but after Ben recreated the universe, Albedo got ruined. He has good moments but man, they turned him into a full on villain over a Galvan that just wanted his body back.

[cyclone-rachel]

2022 Omniverse Rewatch + Episode Ranking

Part 4: Arc 4

assorted thoughts and observations:

• This is just a wild way to start a season, really. • Are you sure, Ben? • Also, I see they updated the intro to have teen Ben’s Feedback design. • And what exactly do they want? • I still love that they got Jim Cummings in this episode. • How does Max know about the fleas? • These idiots. • Well that can’t be good. • You can order different things, you know. • Okay, that’s a good one. • This guy really sucks. • Yeah I’m sorry I don’t have more notes on this one, it’s just real weird. • Wouldn’t expect Albedo to use incorrect grammar. • It would be neat to see Albedo have a version of Ben’s Omniverse hoodie in his colors. • Also never thought I’d see this guy again. • Albedo is goofing up just enough that it’s believable he’s Ben. • It would also be interesting if Rook knew this was Albedo, but was going along with his pretending to be Ben because he wanted to see what Albedo would do. • You know a lot, obviously. • That portrait is still outstanding. • Nobody eats chili fries like that. • Yeah, he has the wrong colored Omnitrix to be Albedo. • Rook should definitely know something is up. • So why is his Omnitrix the same color as Ben’s? • Man, poor Ben, and Rook honestly. That sucks. • Why does she need a containment suit? • Do you ever shut up? • Albedo as Goop looks really cool. • As does I can’t spell his name. • Oh hell yeah, Argit. • Classic alien abduction style. • God, I missed Khyber. • And of course Khyber’s used to his coworkers constantly shit-talking Azmuth. • I was just about to ask, did they just steal from a museum or a library? Okay, so it’s museum, nice. • Also to be completely fair to them, some museums do have excellent weapons displays. • How about actually using some of those weapons? • Wait, so Ben seriously has a flip phone? • Aww, so this isn’t the first time that Ben has brought Rook over to his house. • Also I guess he doesn’t go home that often? Like, does the Plumber base have a bed for him, or something? How often does he sleep? • Then what exactly is it? • Is she serious about that? • So you are saying you’re dumb. • Did Ben just slide into the Plumber base? • Like Ben, I think Bloxx is a good choice. He is neat. • You have 14 Necrofriggian children, Ben. Come on. • Wait, is that a real thing? • I can think of something that would match that description. • Okay, that is pretty funny. • I love Rob Paulsen so much. • Who even builds a train track that goes up that high? • Take that hat off, Ben, there’s probably something gross in it. • Rook has the right idea. • That’s nice. • So this version of the theme song has more sound effects. • Maybe he’d be quicker with the info if you would care to listen to him. • Don’t you remember? • That’s real creepy. • Also, if it’s going to be all electrical aliens like I remember it being this episode, they definitely could have had Brainstorm, and then also did a proper flashback with Malware, so Corey could be in it as two characters. • So Max cares about Phil’s condition but not another character who definitely suffered and was in a lot of pain? • And I know it isn’t in this order in terms of production of course, but airing it as the last episode of the season does kind of match with/foreshadow the Galactic Monsters arc to come (like it has the same vibe), which is cool. • “Magister Tennyson’s monster” does that really describe him? • Not gonna hold him for long, judging by the amount of time left in this episode • Again, major props to Rob Paulsen, he’s doing a very good job! • Also funny that he mentions Patelliday, given who voices him as well. • “we’re not Cerebrocrustaceans” oh come on. • Ben, please chill. • I was just going to mention Kevin, yeah. • Appreciation for how Shocksquatch has a Canadian accent, and is voiced by a Canadian. • Oh YIKES • Well shit, this does make episode 3 more relevant. • And that makes sense. • But without them, what’s powering Undertown? • Poor Max. • I guess this is when he hooks up with the Rooters? Unless he was with them before finding a way back to Earth. • What are you even doing? • Also, why is he in Plumber jail? He’s just a regular guy, right • Oh yeah, I guess Yuri isn’t in this episode. • Uh, Zs’skayr did this once, and it definitely didn’t work. And yeah, he did it too. • Kind of impossible to keep him away from it, if they’re driving towards it. • Also, maybe letting it get destroyed wouldn’t be such a bad thing? Given what it is. • Also also, maybe it’s not the best idea to mention Malware to him? Not sure how long after the Feedback thing it is. Or maybe it’s before that? I don’t know. • You didn’t get the point of what they were trying to say, Ben. • Okay, that was funny. • Could’ve at least gotten out of the Rustbucket. • Well that’s clever. • So when exactly did Gwen’s magic change color? • It would’ve been neat if at some point, it turned yellow, because that was its color in the 10K timeline. • Why’d he call her Ben? • Wildmutt is so tiny! Or at least he looks tiny here. • Of course they’re tech support • Is climbing that thing really that much of an effort? • I love how that line was read. • And when were those systems last upgraded? • Didn’t she pronounce it differently last time? I guess that would make sense, if you want similar spells to have different effects, like in the OS. • He has a point. • Just eat the helmet! • So what does Upchuck’s poop do? • I still don’t get the episode title. • That guy has a great design. • Gosh, this is really the season of “Rob Paulsen is great/has a ton of range”, isn’t it? • I like that Jimmy has the UAF jacket.

• So Steve Ahn is an actual guy, who did in fact work as a storyboard artist on this episode and many others in this show, and worked on other shows like Generator Rex, Legend of Korra, V*ltr*n (Legendary Defender), Guardians of the Galaxy, the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ben 10 Ultimate Alien, and recently directed episodes of Star Trek Prodigy and The Boys Presents: Diabolical. Very cool. • If I had a nickel for every “haz cheeseburger” reference in this series despite that being a big popular thing about six or seven years before this show aired… well, we’ll get there. • “bloag” vs “blob”, choose your fighter • Of course aliens would know and hate those guys. • Insert other conspiracy theory about frogs here. • If they’re not metal, then what are they? • So what would you call him, if you don’t consider him a nerd? • “medieval minds” is a great phrase • It does make a lot of sense that Harangue would work with the Knights. • Tim Curry is great, as well. • I’m sorry, HIGHBREED pulse generator? Genuinely didn’t catch that before now. • How many aliens live on Earth and not in Undertown? • Would that even work? • “reheated leftovers” is a very good way to describe them. • Not wrong. • Those are alien cows? Also this is good teamwork, I like it. • Never say “impossible” to Ben. • So how old is Jimmy at this point? • Uh. Yikes. • “ignore my calls” so are they dating or something • Forever Nuts is a great name for them • Yes, Ben! • “ah, the classics” aww I like that • Again, excellent teamwork this episode. • Actually, yeah, if he couldn’t get Gray Matter, that was a very good alternative. • “America the Beautiful” plays” oh my god

• FORESHADOWING! Harangue is the one who supports the Vengers, isn’t he? • Man, what perfect karma for him, I love it. • I will never get tired of Ben’s motorcycle, it’s very cool. • That’s nice of him. • He even has a 10 on the keychain. • For a second, XLR8 had his 10-year-old design. • That can’t be good. • “Have a good time at the car show… but not too good a time.” What, is she expecting him to fuck a car? • So glad nobody has to actually go through any toilets. • Gosh, Gwen has a sad cat poster on her bedroom wall. • Is that not your only shirt? At least for now. • Lucy is a cutie pie. • This really is the Rob Paulsen season, isn’t it. • “There’s a traitor among us” someone please do that edit. • So how old do you have to be to enter Plumber Academy? • Also don’t be insensitive, Max. • That’s a real scary face, Gwen. • Wait, is that actually how they’re related? • Wouldn’t that make them not really cousins? • Why was that your line to begin with? • Gwen is so powerful • How does Ben know about the borrowed shirt thing? • Also I guess Ben now has a smartphone? • She didn’t like Kevin for another 4 years, come on. • Of course it’s that thing again. • That’s a very cool ship design. • Did he mean to rhyme? • So she’s been taking judo since she was 7? • Oh my god, Ben. • Why the emphasis on that phrase? • First of all, it is cool to have two episodes being linked and taking place at the same time in different locations • Also I do really like the look of the Null Void here? I just think it’s neat. I don’t remember how it looks in the other versions, but this one is cool. • Awwww, tiny Argit! • And what’s wrong with cell phones? • The proto-tool isn’t just a weapon. • Of course he’s here. • What does a Plumber look like, exactly? Also what does “depending on the configuration” mean. • Oh my god, is Argit jealous • Wasn’t that technically Albedo’s idea? • In only that definition of “straight”. • I would’ve liked to have seen an episode about that. • How many times has Ben said that word? • Otto: “Quite a remarkable vehicle you have here. It would be a shame if something happened to it.” *turns it into a giant robot* • So the transformer… LITERALLY turns it into a Transformer. I don’t think that’s how it works in real cars, but it’s still cool. • I mean, if you couldn’t go for a pun that would probably get you sued, this is the next best thing, because the actual meaning of the word “gestalt” is very accurate. • Again, incredibly nice of Azmuth to teleport you there at all. Also, never mind I think Ben could’ve just contacted Azmuth through the Omnitrix, that makes sense. • “it’s hard enough just getting him to return a message” how many messages have you left on Azmuth’s answering machine, Ben? • What would he want with a star system? Can you buy the stars? • UPGRADE! YEAH THAT’S MY BOY! • I mean I love Diamondhead and Heatblast too, they’re probably my top 3 OG series aliens. But gosh Upgrade is cool. • He has a point. • OH HELL YEAH • If anyone wanted to know what Ben as a Cybertronian would look like, there’s your answer, kind of. • I do wish that would’ve been more explored, what he thinks of Galvanic Mechamorphs and all. • Also it feels weird that he’d have an “11” on him instead of a “10”, but I guess that’s just because he’s using Kevin’s car. • Damn, Ben did the Malware move. • Every time. • Couldn’t he just break it off into pieces and sell those? • Do the colors look different, or is it just me? • Also I guess Khyber knocked him out again. • Again x2, I think this would’ve been an excellent opportunity for Ben to use Upgrade, because he has no “natural predator”, only for the Nemetrix to turn Khyber’s new pet into a more feral version of Malware. • I mean, Albedo and Ben have the same DNA while Albedo is in human form, so I don’t know if that would help. • So is Azmuth not answering Max’s calls because he was captured? • Also again, I guess this is the episode where Albedo learns about Malware being kept in the Galvan museum, because there’s no other time he could’ve learned that before teaming up with Vilgax to take his remains and have Vilgax wear his corpse as armor. • It is weird that aside from Ditto’s, we don’t see any new predators in these two episodes. • Also I guess there was some time in between last episode and this one, so Rook got his truck repaired? • Hathor? Very interesting name for a planet. • Max is right. • Yipes. • So which one is the original? • Is that all the predators in the Nemetrix, period? • Ben getting his Katniss Everdeen moment. • I still think it��s so funny that an episode where Ben is trapped in an arena, hunted down by a bunch of creatures, and ultimately escapes by making a hole in the “sky” which is really just the roof of a big dome, aired the day after Catching Fire’s premiere, a movie wherein the same thing happens to its heroine. Also, Catching Fire is just really fucking great, as a movie or as a book. • Albedo wouldn’t be satisfied with that. • So when is Eric Bauza going to play MODOK? • They’ve come so far, it’s really nice. • I definitely remember these lines being in trailers. • Of course, Feedback again. • Khyber going all Vanna White here. • The way he said that is just really funny to me. Also, if anyone can find any interviews that Rene did where he mentioned playing Azmuth, please let me know. • Uh, don’t you say in Malgax Attacks that you always plan ahead, and that’s why you’re the First Thinker? • That looks incredibly uncomfortable. • Smarter than Azmuth, you’d think. • So why is his intelligence presented in that way? • And how do you know so much about Galvan brains? • That’s not good. • What a big explosion. • I don’t think Rook’s truck can take much more of that without being repaired. • Let me guess, and pocket change? • This is incredibly important. • Also, I would’ve appreciated getting to see some more ultimates from Albedo? Besides Arcticguana and Gravattack, and Rath who we’ll see later on. • This just reminds me of the headcanon of Ben being a Ke$ha fan. • Maybe Ben would have a Tiktok? Although I guess he’s on the youngest Millennial/oldest Gen-Z side, since he’d be a little older than me if his timeline roughly lines up with our own. • Again, I really wish Dadzmuth had shown up at some point. And I wish we’d have learned more about Azmuth’s parents. • He does look very cool. • I love Kevin so much. • Why do you even need glasses? • “I am no man’s quarry” yes, but you’re now actually a woman’s quarry. • That does make a lot of sense. Although I don’t think it was a good idea for you to just straight-up eat Khyber’s new pet. • Oh that does look cool. • Did Pesky Dust just almost do the Sailor Moon pose • Okay, I do kind of love this, and would like to see an official AU where Khyber joins the team even though it is I guess his nightmare/dream/whatever here. (or another one where Malware does, for obvious reasons). Also it’s doubly hilarious because David Kaye does voice Max in the reboot. • And we know how much Khyber loves trophies. • Oh hey, it does come back! • We love a man who drinks his respect women juice in this house. • He feels power building inside him and sees a world that only he can create. They really are more similar than Albedo would have thought. • I love that, at the halfway point of this series, we have this moment, where Albedo acknowledges that this is an Omniverse. Which of course will come up later, and we’ll see it in 10 more episodes. • Also how cool would it have been if we did have Albedo literally say the words Malware did, and have him realize that they’ve become so similar? Also I’m sorry that I keep bringing up Malware, I just think he’s neat and had a lot of potential. • So why exactly was he with Vilgax and Eon and the other Bens? • ATOMIX! • Ben just yeets them into the sky • Not every time, Ben. Come on. • How much does Ben call Azmuth? • So he did get his truck fixed. • You had to ask, didn’t you?

Arc 4 rankings: 1. Max’s Monster 2. A Fistful of Brains 3. Return to Forever 4. For a Few Brains More 5. Mud is Thicker than Water 6. The Ultimate Heist 7. OTTO-Motives 8. Evil’s Encore 9. Food Around the Corner 10. O Mother, Where Art Thou?

Basic thoughts: So, this was a really weird season? I feel like we probably could’ve used one more arc episode, with Albedo meeting Khyber and teaming up with him, fleshing out where Albedo’s been since we saw him in Ultimate Alien and what Khyber’s been doing since we last saw him in Showdown part 1. I was surprised at how much I really liked my top episode this season, I didn’t remember it much but it was great! Return to Forever was also really, really good, and I liked that we got an interconnected pair of episodes in this season as well, even if it wasn’t connected to the main arc. I think this is also when we start getting 3-episode arcs, which is fine, but I’d still prefer 4 per season. We also get a classic Animo episode, a very strange season premiere, and an episode that’s funny but unconnected to anything else here.

Original rankings: 1. A Fistful of Brains 2. For a Few Brains More 3. Max’s Monster 4. OTTO-Motives 5. The Ultimate Heist 6. Mud is Thicker than Water 7. Return to Forever 8. Evil’s Encore 9. Food Around the Corner 10. O Mother, Where Art Thou?

[benjamin-hastings]

 BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Benjamin Dashiell Hastings MEANING: Benjamin — Son of my right hand; Dashiell — Heaven NICKNAME(S): Ben, Benji PREFERRED NAME(S): Benji BIRTH DATE: August 2nd, 1987 AGE: 34 years old ZODIAC: Leo GENDER: Cis male PRONOUNS: He/Him/His ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heterosexual SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heteromantic NATIONALITY: American ETHNICITY: White CURRENT LOCATION: Eureka, California LIVING CONDITIONS: Affluent

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: Los Angeles, California HOMETOWN: Los Angeles, California SOCIAL CLASS: Poor EDUCATION LEVEL: High School Diploma, Hollywood High School FATHER: Collin Dashiell Hastings MOTHER: Candace Joy Mabry SIBLING(S): Florence Eloise Hastings  BIRTH ORDER: Benji (eldest), Florence (youngest) CHILDREN: Connor Matthew Birch (son with Katie Birch) PET(S): Kevin (corgi), Balthazar (mutt) OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: Lorelai Anaïs Dupont (niece)  PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: None ARRESTS?: Possession of a controlled substance, x2 counts PRISON TIME?: None

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Electric Lettuce, Recreational Cannabis Dispensary located in Eureka, California SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Former brand deal with Billabong APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: 200k+ CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: Benji cares about having a stable income but is by no means a workaholic, he pays people to handle the more strenuous parts of his business PAST JOB(S): Professional surfer

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: Very athletic OFFENSE: Good bar brawler DEFENSE: Likes to get punch drunk SPEED: Like lightning INTELLIGENCE: Not very bright but he has street smarts SHORTCOMINGS: Self-awareness LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: English, American Sign Language DRIVE?: Yes JUMP-STAR A CAR?: Yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: Yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: Yes SWIM?: Yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: Guitar, Drums PLAY CHESS?: No BRAID HAIR?: Yes TIE A TIE?: No PICK A LOCK?: Yes

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: Jake McDorman EYE COLOR: Blue HAIR COLOR: Blonde HAIR TYPE/STYLE: Type 1 — straight, short GLASSES/CONTACTS?: Neither DOMINANT HAND: Right HEIGHT: 6′0 WEIGHT: 165 lbs BUILD: Muscular, athletic EXERCISE HABITS: Very regular SKIN TONE: Fair TATTOOS: Several Chicken Joe tattoos, AML tattooed on his left butt cheek PIERCINGS: None MARKS/SCARS: None USUAL EXPRESSION: Stupid grin CLOTHING STYLE: Very boho, likes to thrift clothes JEWELRY: Sometimes wears chains ALLERGIES: None DIET: Vegetarian PHYSICAL AILMENTS: None

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE: ENFP-A — Campaigner JUNG SUBTYPE: Assertive ENNEAGRAM TYPE: Type 3 — The Generalist: The enthusiastic, productive type MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine ELEMENT: Water PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: Interpersonal APPROXIMATE IQ: 105 MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: None SOCIABILITY: Highly sociable and outgoing EMOTIONAL STABILITY: Suffers from anxiety OBSESSION(S): None COMPULSION(S): None PHOBIA(S): None ADDICTION(S): None DRUG USE: Marijuana, semi-regularly ALCOHOL USE: Occasional PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: No

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: Valley Boy ACCENT: None QUIRKS: None HOBBIES: Surfing, Skateboarding HABITS: None NERVOUS TICKS: None DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: Connor FEARS: Letting down Katie, Connor or Annie POSITIVE TRAITS: Reliable, Gregarious NEGATIVE TRAITS: Foolhardy, Reckless SENSE OF HUMOR: Larger than life, goofy DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: Quite often CATCHPHRASE(S):

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: Surfing ANIMAL: Dog BEVERAGE: Corona BOOK: Guess How Much I Love You — Sam McBratney CELEBRITY: Paul Rudd COLOR: Blue DESIGNER: Billabong FOOD: Boba tea FLOWER: None GEM: Aquamarine HOLIDAY: Groundhog’s Day MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: White 2018 Toyota 4Runner MOVIE: Lords of Dogtown MUSICAL ARTIST: Red Hot Chili Peppers SCENERY: Shoreline, beach SCENT: Ocean SPORT: Surfing TELEVISION SHOW: Impractical Jokers WEATHER: Sunny VACATION DESTINATION: Hawai’i

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: Being a positive role-model for Connor GREATEST FEAR: Letting Connor, Katie or Annie down MOST AT EASE WHEN: Surfing LEAST AT EASE WHEN: Alone WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: Something happening to Katie, Connor or Annie BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: Winning the ASP World Tour, Connor’s birth BIGGEST REGRET: Leaving Eureka when Katie told Benji she was pregnant MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: Losing the World Surf League BIGGEST SECRET: Benji doesn’t care whether or not Connor is his biological child TOP PRIORITIES: Connor, Katie, Annie, Flo, Candace, Electric Lettuce

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Prompt idea for funzies: Modern Human Geralt gets a job at Dunder Mifflin paper company and chaos ensues when this hot beef sandwich has his first day at the Office. (Bonus points: Michael having a lot of feelings because now he isn’t sure if Ryan can keep his Hottest in the Office Dundie now)

Tater, babe. Idk what happened but uh... here?

Geralt bonds with Toby very quickly.

Michale calls him a variety of uncomfortable nicknames, his least favorite of which being “Sexy Two-Shoes” which like, why????? Jaskier says he should wear heels to work and Geralt thinks he’d rather die. 

Kelly deadass just stares at him for like a whole fifteen minutes (which like gurl same but chill) and definitely does not spill coffee on him to see if he’ll take his shirt off. 

He doesn't but Angela ‘helps’ him clean up and gets the stain out of his white shirt with club soda and gets it everywhere. 

So it ends with Michael proposing a wet Tshirt contest.

Did I say Geralt and Toby are exasperated office friends? 

Jim is intimidated af and Dwight has found his new fearless leader. 

The first day Dwight asked if Geralt had ever killed anyone and he just ‘hmm’ed and Dwight took it as a resounding ‘yes’

He now makes copies for Geralt 

Stanley and Phylis make quick friends with Geralt so he has Dwight do their copying and stapling too. 

Kevin made a gay joke and Geralt and Oscar shared the look so now he hangs out with Oscar for his lunch breaks.

Pam doesn't look him in the eye for like three whole days and Jim is not a fan but like, he gets it. He makes one of those ‘he could turn me’ jokes and Geralt snickers. 

Ryan tries shoving Kelly at him even after Geralt made it clear he was married and poor Kelly nearly cries every time: “not even the new old guy thinks I’m cute!”

Geralt just mumbles something about being three years younger than her when he’s asked about it

He falls for the ‘that’s what she said’ traps every fucking time. This himbo never sees them coming and is always annoyed. 

Michale ends up making a new Dundie: Hottest on the Planet. Jaskier nearly pisses himself in the Chilis laughing so hard at the look on Geralt’s face. 

Jaskier also brought him his lunch once in heels and a halter top and everyone was silent for a good five minutes. Jim finally broke and said he’s hot and Geralt just winked. Thankfully Michael was out of the office. 

When Andy shows up he calls him Giant BLT. Geralt hates this even more than Sexy Two-Shoes. 

Phylis and Pam get Ciri a gift card to Starbucks for her birthday and Geralt almost cries bc he didn’t say it was coming up. They keep it hush hush so Michael doesn't do anything stupid. 

All in all - it's a weird place to work but at least it's not boring. 

[babybatscreationsv2]

A King on a Leash ch8

Marvel | Starker

Tony Stark is a powerful man with a beautiful husband and a loyal crime family, but it looks like he didn’t keep his husband on a short enough leash. After turning Peter lose on a Cuban gang leader, Peter’s life is  in danger. The real trouble is that Tony now realizes that Peter is the  only thing in this world that he cares about and he never meant for that  to happen.

Sequel to A Doll on a String

Rating: Explicit

Full Fic

A Doll on a String

Warnings under the cut*

Warnings: torture, murder, mafia au, graphic description of a panic attack, orgasm denial, possessive behavior, jealousy

Fists, a knife, a flambe torch, and two hours later and Tony had everything he needed. He sent Natasha off to find Bucky. Together they would gather up their teams and corner this cousin of Suarez's. Ricardo, but everyone calls him 'Chili'. How intimidating. They dumped the body off a pier, then Tony noticed the time. Shit. He was going to be late to pick up Peter.

"Hap," he said through the phone. "You available to pick Peter up today?"

"Sorry, Boss, I'm across town. You can't make it?"

"Fuck. I'll have his guards drive him home."

"Sorry, Tony. Wish I could make it. Want me to call and make some threats before they pick him up?"

"No," he sighed. "I'm sure I can manage. Thanks anyway, Hap."

"No problem, Boss."

Tony ended the call and dialed Kevin, the head of Peter's guards when Happy wasn’t around. He would already be parked in front of the building to make sure it was safe.

"You're bringing Peter home, today. Make sure he comes straight home and don't you-"

"Boss?"

Tony clenched his jaw at being interrupted. Better be fucking important. "What is it?"

"You telling me this ain't your car the other Mr. Stark just got into?" the fear in his voice was icy.

His own heart was shot through with the same icy fear. "Tail them. Wherever they go. Call me when they stop."

He hung up and called Peter, hands clammy. Could Ricardo have gotten to him this fast? His man said he was in Jersey today, but he could have made the drive in the time it took to get it out of him. It could have been a distraction. Could have been a trap. Peter could be dead already.

"Tony?" Peter answered. Tony sighed, instantly soothed. He didn't sound scared or stressed or otherwise in trouble. He was okay.

"Baby where are you?"

"You didn't get my texts?"

Tony checked his phone. As he looked, four messages arrived in series. He sighed. Stupid warehouse reception. Sometimes it knocked out his signal.

"Sorry, baby. Tell me where you are."

"I'm just going to dinner with some friends. Sorry if I scared you."

Tony relaxed into his seat. He's okay. He's alive. His own heart still raced. "It's okay, sweetheart, I'm not mad."

"That's an awful lot of pet names for not being mad."

Tony took a deep breath. "Next time, make sure I got your message before you leave. Please?"

"Of course. I love you, Tony. Go enjoy an evening to yourself, okay? I'll be home late."

"Sure, angel. Have fun. Tell your friends I said 'hi'."

"Will do." Peter kissed him through the phone. "See you at home."

"Love you, Peter."

"Love you, Tony."

The call ended. Tony sighed and stared out the window. He didn't like the cold, anxious, feeling of being without Peter. 'Enjoy an evening to yourself', yeah right. He sat and fiddled with the ring on his finger. Then ice shot through his heart.

Friends?

Friends. Plural. Peter has two best friends: Gwen and MJ. They hate each other. Sure, he goes out with the girls he dances with every now and then, but he doesn't call them friends. He calls them 'the girls'. MJ has a girlfriend. He could be going out with them together, but MJ wouldn't have met him at the performance hall because she hates Gwen. Even if she had she couldn't afford a car that would be confused with one of Tony's. What friends?

His first instinct was to call him back and ask, but no. He didn't want Peter to think he was being overbearing. He deserves his own space. Fuck, it was killing him, though. Like a blessing from God, Kevin called.

"Boss?"

"Where is he, Kev?"

Poor Kevin sounded like he might throw up. "He's at that Italian place you guys like and he's with friends."

"Which friends?"

"Uh," he paused. "The blonde girl and a guy. I've never seen him before."

There was a guy that he danced with, but he and Peter never got along so they don't hang out. He would have remembered if Peter had made amends with him. "Describe him."

"Expensive looking suit, short brown hair, maybe an inch or two taller than Mr. Stark. Looked around the same age. Couldn't see much of his face from here, but he was clean-shaven."

Harry Osborn.

"Call in the second car. I want men inside. I'll call Leonardo and let him know you're with me."

"Yes, sir."

It hurt. It genuinely fucking hurt. And it was stupid. Why did he feel like Peter was cheating on him? Of course he would want to see an old friend. Harry had been gone for years, they would want to catch up. At least Gwen was with them. She was very straight laced, she wouldn't let Peter run off with him- What the fuck was he even thinking? Of course Peter wouldn't. He took a deep breath but it didn't stop the panic. He couldn't breathe. The car was suffocating him. He climbed out and nearly fell onto the sidewalk.

His driver got out and came around the side.

"You alright, Boss?"

"Fine-" he choked. "Just need a minute. Wait in the car."

He looked unsure, but he did what he was told.

Tony's mind spun with thoughts that didn't quite connect and weren't entirely coherent.

Should start going to his practices with him... Should tell him he's not allowed to dance anymore. What if he leaves? What if he doesn't come home? I should kill Harry Osborn. What if I caught them together? What if Peter wants him? What if he's better than me? What if he's better for Peter than me? I should go to the restaurant. I should call Peter. I should go home. Why can't I breathe?

Tony sat down on the curb and put his head between his knees. He didn't want to imagine what he looked like, a Mafia Boss, a capital 'B' Boss, sitting on the ground like a kid at a Macy's parade. Cue the fucking confetti and tootsie rolls.

His phone rang. It was Peter. He answered without thinking, then realized his throat was thick and he probably sounded like he was crying. Was he crying?

"What the fuck, Tony? I can't go to dinner without a babysitter?"

Tony gulped down air. The sound of his voice, even venomous and angry, helped to soothe him. "No, baby, you can't." His voice came out thick and gravelly and probably sounded more angry than upset.

"And why not?" He could just see him, hiding in the bathroom so no one would here them argue. A hand on his hip and the other clutched around his phone. Teeth clenched and hair disheveled where he ran a frustrated hand through it.

"Because you're mine," Tony said, a little smile on his lips.

He heard Peter sigh. "I know I'm in trouble and all, but can't your men wait outside?"

"You need all the protection you can get, angel. I won't let anything happen to you." Or anyone, he thought.

A pause, then another sigh. "Fine. You're right. Sorry, I overreacted."

"It's okay. I'm glad you called."

"Are you okay?"

Tony stood up and brushed himself off. He looked at the people passing him by as if they were the ones who were strange. "I will be when this is over."

There was a pause. "Should I cancel dinner?" He sounded so upset. Tony couldn't take something from him if it really meant that much. Though, he couldn't say that it didn't feel good to be reminded that he could. If he walked into that restaurant and dragged Peter out no one would stop him. Hell, Peter would blush and make excuses but he wouldn't argue. Not in public. Not when it could tarnish Tony's image.

"No, angel. Enjoy your dinner." And think of me, he thought. Remember the guards I sent to protect you. Remember that I'm always just a call away.

"You sure?"

"Of course. Be safe. Don't go anywhere alone." Just come home. Just ditch him and come home.

"I'll be careful. You be careful, too."

"I love you, Peter." More than anything. Anything at all.

"Love you, Tony." Why? What's worth loving when I'm weak like this?

On shaking legs, Tony got back in the car. Cold and pale, he cleared his throat. Then he barked at the driver to take him home.

Peter wasn’t late, but it felt like it. Especially since Tony had spent a good while on the bathroom floor throwing up into the toilet. He had showered and brushed his teeth and he prayed Peter didn't smell the vomit on him. He was relaxing by an artificial fire, forcing himself to read a book, when Peter came in. He was all smiles, walking on air. He floated across the room to give Tony a kiss.

"Whatcha reading?"

"Nothing." He let Peter take the book from his hands and set it aside. Then he sat straddling his lap. "There's my angel." He brushed Peter's hair from his forehead. He had to get himself under control. He'd been completely sick until Peter got home. He felt like he'd been holding his breath up until the moment Peter's weight settled in his lap. He closed his eyes and breathed him.

"Did you miss me?" Peter cooed, angel sweet. He smelled like fresh Italian herbs and restaurant hand soap.

Tony shrugged. "Should I?"

Peter gave him a coy smile. "I know what missed me." He slipped down to the floor and pushed apart Tony's legs. His skinny fingers trailed over his crotch. A slave to his husband, the man that was supposed to be his plaything and not the other way around, Tony's cock started to thicken at the touch. He let his legs spread wider, let his head fall back as Peter's hot little mouth made a wet spot on the front of his pants. He could feel the heat, the tease of suction through too many layers. After suffering so many bad feelings throughout the day, the promise of pleasure made him hungry.

"Don't tease, sweetheart."

Peter looked up at him with a mischievous smile on his face. He continued to suck on the fabric, moaning like it was his cock, like he could taste it through the material. Tony stared, his expression dark. He reached slowly down to unbuckle his belt and pulled it off. Peter sat still and waited watching as he took out his cock.

Tony admired the way he licked his bottom lip as be eyed the belt in his hands before he eyed Tony's cock. He looked up, asking for permission.

"Get your mouth on it. No hands."

Without a question, Peter bent and took his cock into his mouth. Tony finally felt some of the days tension leave him. He let Peter get him hard and wet, then he used the belt to pulled Peter in, letting it curve against the back of his head, and pulled him down until his tongue reached his balls. He pulled down with the belt and thrust his hips forward, burying as deeply as he could in his throat. His head fell back against the chair. Peter wretched, body trembling between his legs. Tony let him up before he could puke up his dinner. He looked down at Peter to see his eyes glassy and his mouth open and dripping with spit.

"What a good little toy you are. Gonna be my fleshlight, baby?"

Peter moaned. "Yes, daddy." Fuck, that look on his face, cock stupid and perfect. Ready to do anything he asked.

"That's a good boy."

He got his mouth back on Tony's cock and Tony used the belt to guide him. He kept his mouth open wide and let Tony have what he wanted, appearing more fuck hole than man.

"You're daddy's perfect little slut aren't you?"

Peter gurgled on his cock, unable to answer.

"Should keep you tied to the bed. Use you whenever I want." Never let you leave. He liked the sound of that.

Peter was so good, so patient, and obedient. Tony's treatment of his throat was brutal, tortuous, yet he sat with his hands in lap. Tears ran down his cheeks and spit down his chin. Daddy's good obedient pet. Perfect and beautiful and all his. All his.

He let Peter go and sat stroking himself, watching him gasp. Once he recovered enough, he sat up, mouth open waiting for his cum. Tony painted him with it, coating his face in sticky white, hardly any ended up in his waiting mouth. And Peter sat, still and patient until Tony wiped the cum from his eyes. Then he blinked up at him, licking his lips.

"Can I cum, daddy?"

Tony thought a moment. "No," he decided. He could spend tomorrow hard and thinking about Tony and not thinking about Osborn and Tony would feel a little better about his dinner outing.

"Clean your face and strip for me."

"Yes, sir." Peter wiped cum from his cheeks and licked his fingers clean. Tony scooped some off his forehead when he missed it. Peter happily suckled his fingers, humming and closing his eyes. Like having any part of Tony inside him was bliss. Then he stood and stripped out of his clothes. Tony looked at his cock, fully hard and needy.

"Come sit with me, angel."

Peter sat down on his lap, happy when Tony gave him a deep kiss. Then slowly started to kiss down his neck. His fingers teased his bare thigh. He brushed them over his hard cock, adoring the way his cock jumped under his touch. "Tell me about your dinner. Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah," he began, notably breathless. "Harry was back in town so- so Gwen and I took him out." He stuttered as Tony sucked on his neck. He grinned against the fresh bruises he made.

"That sounds nice," he said.

He wrapped a hand around his cock and slowly stroked him. Peter licked his swollen lips.

"It was fun. I missed Harry. I missed you, too, of course. I'm not used to having dinner without you."

Tony sucked another mark into his skin, increasing the pressure until Peter whined and his hands touched his chest. Then he thought, just one more, and sucked another mark just above his Adam's apple.

"What's gotten into you?" Peter asked, breathless and clinging to his chest.

"Nothing." Tony threaded his fingers through his hair and kissed him again. He licked away the taste of cum from his mouth until he could taste Peter underneath. His Peter.

[tonitheloftwing]

UnShelled: The Freak The Mighty And Unwind Crossover No One Asked For

The image had stayed in Max’s head for ages. The image of Kevin, spraying chili powder into his father and captor’s eyes, sending him back to jail where he belonged. If this new law passed, there could be the possibility that his father could be unwound and shelled. Killer Kane, Killer Kane, a parts pirate soon to have no brain. He hadn’t known what shelling was originally, when he’d first heard of it on the news, so he’d asked Grim. 

“Shelling’s a horrible thing. They unwind you and then throw out the brain. You’re not alive in a divided state if they shell you, I sure think,” Grim declared.

 “Of course you’re not alive without a brain,” Max said. “No different than being a zombie then.” Even though Max was pretty sure he had no brain- he was a massive butthead. He wondered- would he want shelling to be his father’s fate, or was it too cruel? Better than the death penalty. At least his stupid body would be helping somebody. 

“I heard the only type that shell is that foreign unwinding place,” Gram said with a shake of her hand. “What do they call it… The Zah Dey?”

“It’s the Dah Zey,” Grim corrected. “Something for flesh market.”

“Kevin said it’s Burmese,” Max interrupted. Kevin had… a very strong stance on unwinding. 

“How unchivalrous! It’s a horrible practice, and should never be performed on anyone nor supported,” he claimed. “I know they can’t unwind me because I’m ‘unclean’. Well, I’ll show them unclean! I’ll protest against unwinding until this nonsense stops!” 

Max had always admired his friend’s courage and way to speak his mind. He admired that he even had a mind, something Max always felt that he had lacked. Freak was his mind; together, they were Freak The Mighty, nine feet tall and with the biggest brain you’d ever seen. Even separate, they were a menace. Freak had led to the arrest of a notorious parts pirate, and Max had passed the eighth grade! They were unstoppable! 

Max thought about unwinding a lot. No doubt if he’d been adopted out instead of taken in by Grim and Gram he’d be a pile of organs by now- a big pile of organs. He was probably worth a lot on the black market, an extremely tall, boeuf 13 year old, the prime age for unwinding. Maybe his dad would have raised him a tithe if he “found the light” earlier. Max chuckled at that. The thought of him, a tithe! He’d probably be the biggest tithe of all time. Maybe they could put him in Ginny’s World Record book or whatever it was called. 

Max also thought about parts pirateering. When your father was someone who was so cruel to send his own wife off to be unwound by the Burmese Dah Zey, you had to. Iggy and Loretta were still tied up in that business, and Max vowed to stay away from them for that very reason. Even if Loretta had saved his life once. Maybe she was just eyeing up his parts. She always acted like she was, anyways. 

One day, Kevin declared that he had a quest. “We must go to where I am to receive my robot body! To the Medical Research Center, noble steed!” 

And so Freak hopped up on Max’s shoulders and they became Freak The Mighty once again as Max galloped off into the sunrise with the smaller boy on his back. This was Max’s favorite thing in the world; the wind blowing through his hair, Kevin on his shoulders, off on a wild quest to who knows where. He loved Kevin, Freak, whoever the hell he was, he knew he did. He wasn’t sure what that love meant or what kind of love it was, but it was there. His butthead was too stupid to figure out what it was. The only way would be to ask Freak, and then he’d know that Max was a butthead too stupid to understand love, and then where would they be? But Kevin never treated Max like a butthead. He seemed to be the one person in his life who understood that even if he was one, there was no need to treat him like one. Teach the big goon to read and write, eek eek. Then call him a noble steed. 

“The castle looks just fabulously ravishing today, doesn’t it?” Freak said from atop his steed. 

“Ravishing? Hungry?”

“No, that’s famished. Ravishing means beautiful, alluring, bewitching…”

“So all the things your mom is?” Kevin smacked Max with one of his crutches. “The noble steed will not make comments about his rider’s mother.” Max untied one of Kevin’s shoes playfully, a game they always played together. Kevin always pretended it ticked him off, but Max knew it didn’t. Then when he got off of him, Max would tie his shoe back up. Kevin was originally surprised he could even tie a shoe. 

“So, when are you getting your robot body?” Max asked curiously.

“Why do you ask?”

“I’m really nervous for you,” Max admitted. “I mean, you’re getting a bionic body. That’s pretty freaky.”

Kevin sighed. “Max, it’s time you know. There is no robot body. It’s just as fictional as Arthurian legend. I came up with it to help myself cope with the inevitable, the inevitable being my soon but sure demise. It’s called manifestation. If I lie to myself enough, it becomes true to me.”

Max didn’t understand most of what Freak had said, but seeing the tears in his eyes told him most of what he needed to know. “You’re… going to die?” Kevin nodded. “My organs are just getting too big for my body, and since I refuse unwound organs, I’m not going to last long.”

“Why don’t you just take them?” Max asked, trying to plead with him. “The kids got unwound anyways.”

“Do you know how hard it’d be to find organs small enough for my body?” Kevin asked. “They’d need to unwind a three year old. And they’d have to make it so the organs couldn’t grow either,” he explained. “It’d be far too complicated. And possibly illegal.”

“But you can’t die!” Max exclaimed. “Without you, I’m just… The Mighty. I need my Freak.”

“That which comes cannot be avoided,” Kevin said seriously. 

But Max would find a way to stop it. He knew he could.

First, he needed money. Lots of it. But where does one get lots of money? He swore to never be a criminal, but that might be the only way. Kevin would have called what he was doing a quest of the unnoble variety, but he needed the money. Enough money to bribe someone who probably had all the money in the world. 

So, he ransacked all the abandoned houses in town he could find. Eventually he’d stolen one, two thousand dollars? He’d been able to find a diamond necklace he’d been able to pawn off, and he had his cash. Now, time to go to the people he’d needed.  

“Loretta? Loretta, you in there?” Max asked, banging on the door. Eventually, the woman with the fake eyelashes and droopy lips greeted Max tiredly. 

“What do you want, kid?” She asked. “No, I’m not lending you money.”

“Oh, I’m not asking for money,” he said with a smirk. “Quite the opposite. You’re going to become very rich.”

“So, let me get this straight…” Loretta thought, long and hard. “You’re going to pay us to take you to the Dah Zey?”

“Well, not quite. The money is to bribe the higher ups into letting me do what I want. But yes, I’m submitting myself to you as an AWOL. No one has to know, and the Dah Zey will still pay you.”

“Well, your plan’s crazy, but you got a deal, kid,” 

Soon enough, he was on a plane to Burma, going to be unwound… maybe. He could admit he was scared out of his shorts, but this was something he needed to do, or else innocent lives would be over. He must do this.

Loretta and Iggy wouldn’t be making this journey with him, as they claimed that they were too small in the parts pirateering business to meet the owners of the harvest camps themselves. According to them, they didn’t even know what happened at the harvest camps, at least no more than anyone else knew. It had recently come out that the Dah Zey experimented on children, when the doctor had publicly made an appearance with his chimpanzee-footed assistant. Max had bigger dreams than being put on postcards, but he had a similar goal to Mr. Chimpanzee. To become an experiment of the doctor’s.

When Max arrived at the Dah Zey, they threw him in a cell, by himself. “Volunteers get special permission. You don’t go with others.”

Max wasn’t bothered by the man’s poor English; he was just anxious to meet the doctor. Only then did he realize how miserable the existence of the prisoners at Dah Zey were. 

Despite being a volunteer, Max was given very little food or water, and only a bucket to eliminate himself in. For entertainment, he was given a crappy old TV with only movies buttheads would ever want to watch, and especially enjoy. But he put them on anyways, because he was a butthead. I mean, what kind of butthead would turn themselves into parts pirates for a friend?

Apparently an impressive butthead, as later Max received a private audience with the doctor. 

“My name is Doctor Rodín,” he said, sitting down. “And you purposefully… volunteered yourself for experimentation?” 

“Yes, although you’re only allowed to experiment on me if you do exactly what I want and as I say.” 

The doctor snorted. “And why should I?”

“Because.” Max took out wads and wads of cash from his pockets. “I’ll make you very rich indeed.”

“Boy, I see more than that in a day,” he said, and Max couldn’t tell if he was bluffing or not. “But I love to meet someone with my same interest in human experimentation. So, pitch your idea to me.”

“Imagine,” Max started. “A nine foot tall giant, with a brain just as big to match. He’s super smart, like, super duper smart. He could probably invent world peace or something. Or something that’d make somebody rich.”

“I’ve already done experiments for giants,” he scoffed. “They went poorly, though. The person survived, but they’re completely bedridden. I’ll have to come up with another way than stacking spinal columns.”

“Sir, I’m already 7 feet tall, and I’m only 14. Imagine how much taller I’ll be when I’m older. Or you could give me, let’s say, a two foot spinal column addition.”

The doctor looked intrigued. “So, what exactly are you proposing?”

“I have a friend who’s a supergenius, but he’s going to die soon, his organs grow but his body doesn’t. So, why don’t you shell him…” “And then shell you…”

“And then put Kevin’s brain inside my body. Oh, yeah, Kevin’s the supergenius. And, we’ll be normal enough that we can pass as a normal person, someone who could maybe publicize your experiments as not cruel, but rather innovating.” Saying all these things made Max sick, but it had to be done to save Kevin’s life. 

“I see. And what shall we call you?”

“Freak the Mighty.”

“I like that.”

Kevin woke up one day, no memory of what had happened to him or where he was. 

That was when he noticed how big he felt. His hands felt heavier, his feet reached further down in the bed than they ever had before, and when he sat up, he felt two tons of extra weight. Well, not two tons, but that was what hyperboles were for. 

He wasn’t himself. This wasn’t his body. He was Max. 

He noticed a doctor looking down on him curiously. “Hello, Freak The Mighty.”

[yamithediaperdork]

Big baby Ben (Ben 10 omiverse)

Ben gulped nervously as he made his way over to Kevin's place. It was a few hours after he'd (once again) saved the world and as such it was time for his reward that his semi kinda maybe Boyfriend always gave him after doing so. of course Kevin was still Gwen's fuck buddy but his cousin didn't mind the two of them going out since as she put it "you get him him all worked up, and I reap the benefit!" and would just laugh and wink at Ben. (which of course ALWAYS made Ben worry that despite what Kevin promised, he was sooo tell Gwen what exactly it was they two of them did!) Kevin's place was a one story affair, with a front yard that had a swing and a slide in it and Ben started to squirm as he made it up to Kevin's front door step, and knocked on the door. Already his special undies that Kevin made him wear alll the time except for when they played were swelling with tinkles and he started to worry he was gonna leak as he waited, some kids going by the front of the house (it was only after 4:40) and giggling, again making Ben paranoid. after what seemed like hours (But had only been 12 seconds) the front door opened and there was Kevin in just a black beater and tight jean shorts that left nothing to the imagination. "There's my widdle hero!" Kevin said in a voice that was actually normal level, but to Ben sounded like he was shouting. "Kevvvvin!" Ben whined and squirmed even more. "heh, somebody must be a soaked little guy. you only get this whiny when your a widdle what Benny boy?" Kevin asked, blocking the entrance to his home and smirking. Cheeks turning red Ben pouted but whimpered out. "A little tinkle pants ..daddy." he said. "Hmm? I'm sorry, I didn't hear that, can you speak up?" Kevin asked, cleaning out a ear with his pinky. It was times like that that Ben hated and loved the fact he'd confessed what a little humiliation junkie he was to Kevin. "I'm a little tinkle pants daddy!" he said louder and his thumb found it's way into his mouth. "Exactly. " Kevin said and gave Benny's forehead a kiss, then let him in. they weren't five steps inside when Kevin turned around and undid Ben's jeans, tugging them down and getting a look at Ben's power ranger's pull up. "oh my! you reallly soaked this one little guy! why didn't you change before coming over?" Kevin asked, on a knee and eye level with the big babies soaked crotch. he also reached forward and cupped the squishy padding and gently squeezed it, making Ben gurgle and coo before he finally recovered enough to answer. "I..I did change daddy.. but den there was a scary dog in a yard and..uh.." "Awww poor widdle Benny. he can handle fighting off a alien invasion but that big mean pit bull makes him go pee pee!" getting up Kevin walked behind Ben who had popped his thumb back in his mouth now, with a trail of drool going down his chin. Ben knew what was coming next and as predicted, Kevin stuck a finger the back of the waist band of his pull up and tugged back, peering inside. "Oh my! you know, I didn't smell anything but sometimes you're not so stinky so I didn't wanna get my hopes up..But amazing Benny! you're not a widdle stinker today! At least, not yet." Kevin praised and let the pull up close as Ben whimpered. "Do you need daddies help stepping out of your silly big boy pants so we can go and get you in your big thick diapies?" Kevin asked,holding out his hands. Ben shut his eyes tight, this was what he'd picked. what he'd begged for when Kevin had told him he'd humor him. begging Kevin to help Ben stay a little virgin diaper boy for life. (of course at the time Ben had meant pussy free, But Kevin took it to the next level and the only hole of Ben's that had ever gotten Kevin's big thick cock was Ben's cute mouth) taking his thumb out of his mouth, with a drool trail following to a degree, Kevin took out a rag from his back pocket and cleaned up ben's drool. "and you thought I was silly for buying all of those drool rags. I know what a drooly little baby the so called biggg hero is." Kevin teased then put his foot on the crotch of the pants and took Ben's hands, helping the silly big baby step out of his jeans and then led him by the hand to the living room. the living room was set up in two half's, one half was for Kevin and his sports watching, beer drinking nights with his friends from work. and the other half was a toddlers paradise with Kevin just saying he had a kid with a ex that got dropped off every now and then. (and loved to tease Ben about the fact all his work buddies wants to meet 'his kid') leading Benny over to a changing mat Kevin helped him sit down and then tugged Ben's shirt off and smirked. "Somebodies been hitting the chili cheese fries a little too much." he said and playfully poked the bit of pudge on Ben's tummy. Ben couldn't help but giggle at the poke and then laid back on the changing mat, his thumb popping back into his mouth. (Kevin of course knew a pacifier would of been better but just watching Lil Benny struggle to play with blocks and deal with his need to suck on SOMETHING was just too fucking cute.) Ripping the sides of the pull up open, Kevin didn't even need to tell Ben to lift his hips up and he tugged the wet pull up out from under Ben then grinned. "Oh no! it looks like the power rangers have been defeated but the big baby monster!" he said and tickled Ben's tummy, making the big baby giggle and laugh and squirm. tossing the pull up into the diaper pail with well practiced ease Kevin pulled out a super thick white diaper with the words 'big baby' and 'loser' and 'virgin 4 life' stenciled all over it and held it up. "You know Benny, you did a SUPER good job today." Kevin said, and then using a wipe he took Ben's cute little hard-on between too fingers and gently stroked him. "Ah..ah..Dada.." Ben moaned, his thumb sliding out as he found himself thrusting his hips. it had been 3 months since his last good boy reward and Ben didn't think he was gonna last too long. (of course, Ben was diapered at east once a week, but him being allowed to cum, now THAT was rare) "How about a special treat Benny?" Kevin asked and pulled his hand away as Ben whimpered and let out a frustrated little grunt. "Daddy can put you in this super thick loser diaper and let you crawl around and look silly, till you poop yourself then you can hump daddies leg." Kevin offered and Ben cocked his head, listening. "OR you can finally get this daddy dick up your cute little boy pussy, but after you cum you have to go home AND no baby time next week." Kevin finished. Ben whimpered loudly, and squirmed on the mat, looking from Kevin's crotch to the diaper, then back to the crotch. "Come on Ben, don't you wanna be a big boy at least once and get your V card punched?" Kevin asked and chuckled, rubbing his crotch with one hand. "Or do you wanna be a poopie widdle baby?" he said and then pressed the front of the slick plastic to Ben's crotch. "Di..Di..Diapers daddy!" Ben coo'ed out and then put his hands over his mouth. he'd totally meant to say dick, but just the feeling had been too much and as he locked eyes with Kevin, Kevin smirked. "Thought as much. don't worry Benny, daddy won't make that offer again and get you all confused." Kevin chuckled as Ben whimpered. "guess if we're gonna make you a farty stinky poopie baby butt before I put the diaper on you we should have Mr. poopie booster help you." Kevin added. Ben blushed and whined, but being a good widdle sexless diaper boy loser, rolled onto his tummy and stuck his ass up. "yesh Daddy. you know best." "good boy." Kevin chuckled and got up.

Filling the enema bag up in his Kitchen, Kevin rubbed himself though his pants. there was no two ways about it, he was gonna have to call Gwen over after this and a small part of him was disappointed that Benny hadn't taken the offer to get off. of course Kevin would of still diapered him and let him shit himself on daddies lap but he figured if he told Ben that now, the little guy would of had a fit. he mad sure to add some soap shavings and castor oil to the hot water mix and shook the bag up nice and good, knowing that Ben loved having a painful tummy cramping before making daddy a present. It was just one of a dozen things Kevin didn't quite get about Ben's little fetish, but hey, he got a cute little pamper packer to play with so who was he to complain? The enema bag even had been labeled with a air brush that Kevin had borrowed from work and read 'Mr. poopie booster' on it.

Ben was whimpering, mentally yelling at himself for giving up a chance to get that dick buried balls deep in him, but even as he berated himself he knew that he'd made a smart choice. (well, as smart as the choice to poop yourself in a custom diaper can be) He wasn't a big boy and shouldn't be having sex and should be thankful Kevin put up with his smelly butt and tried to force himself to stop thinking about just how awesome Kevin dick would of felt in his bum. Kevin came back in with Mr poopie booster and Ben bit his lip, Hoping daddy had been super mean and made it so he'd be cramping like crazy. he set the back up on a little hook on the the wall by the mat and then lubed the nozzle up and with two fingers started to lube Ben's forever virgin backside up. with the two fingers greasing him and sliding jusssst in and out, Ben's dicklette was leaking and Ben was gasping and coo'ing, tears leaking out at his need and his rosebud all on it's own was trying to suck Kevin's fingers in deeper. "heh, somebodies all needy. Sorry Benny, you made your choice. no take backies." Kevin said and pulled his fingers out with a pop. "ah..ah..Sowwy daddy..Bum feels so good when you pway wiff it." Ben panted and drooled, a small puddle forming by his face. "it's OK buddy. if i thought you could control yourself you wouldn't be in diapers would you?" Kevin asked and then leaned down and kissed Ben's cheek as he slid the nozzle in. "Loser~"

Kevin smirked as Ben went cross eyed as the nozzle slid in and then started the mixture flowing. he made sure to rub Ben's back and watched him for any warning signs that he should stop the flow, having done this enough times to know the difference between the normal discomfort and something being very wrong. It was always a little fascinating to watch Ben's tummy bloat out as the bag of fluid flowed into him. If it was Kevin he'd of hated all of this but Ben was getting a glazed look in his eyes and a stupid grin on his face as he started to twitch and wiggle with what Kevin supposed was the cramps. "ah..ah..I'm a little loooser for daddy. I love my daddy! daddy's sexless stinky diaper loser wiff a tummy full of poopie waiting to come out!" This was the other half of the fun of filling Ben up with the enema. somehow having his guts filled fried baby Ben's brain and he'd say the cutest and silliest stuff. 'at least he's all tinkled out.' Kevin thought, since normally he'd have a balloon or something around baby Ben's pee pee to catch his piss. all that leaked out today however was baby milk as Ben's super swollen balls were loaded and the Nozzle was pressing right on Ben's g spot. "ah..ah..Daddddy! Call me a looooser!" Ben whined and Kevin was shaken out of his thoughts. "heh. of course your a little loser Ben. you could of had any girl or guy you wanted, even with your micro dick but instead you wanna be a sexless diaper shitting bitch. that makes you what?" Kevin asked and reached down, to ruffle Ben's hair. "A total loooser~" Ben gurgled as the bag finished up. "That'sssss right~" The next part was the tricky one and Kevin got the big custom diaper unfolded and placed under when Ben would be shortly, and then sprinkled and powdered him while he was on his knees. trying to put a plug in Ben after a enema was useless, the diapers were too tick to pull the plug out and not get his hand covered in shit. with his tummy bloated out like he was 6 months pregnant Ben was off in baby land and wasn't much help but that was OK, as the daddy some things just fell on him to figure out and if Ben could trust in him to do it, Kevin would get it done. In one practiced move Kevin got Ben flipped over and on the diaper, hand the front tugged mostly it, and then pulled the plug out and tapped the diaper up all in one swift series of movements. the effect of the plug no longer in Ben was instant though. "DADDY I'M POOPING!"

Ben's mind was in a haze. oh, sure the cramps were super owie but that's just want a diaper shitting loser like him deserved and he was soo lucky to have a daddy who knew exactly what he was and would make him the loser he was, but still treat him like a cute widdle guy. as his thick diaper was taped up and the enema came gushing out Ben's dick twitched wildly, the hot mush coming out and filling his diaper felt sooo good and of course daddy had picked a diapie with ZERO stink guard. as his tummy deflated and the cramps started to lessen the room was filled with Ben's stinky smell and laying on his back Ben sucked his thumb big time and sniffed eagerly, even as daddy made a wave and waved a hand. "whew, no more chili for you little man! stinkkkky!" Kevin said. Ben knew that Kevin actually liked the smell just as much as him, but he also liked to play it up so Ben could feel like a naughty little stinker. There was just one problem, and as Ben kept shitting his guts out he tried to get it out to daddy. "ah..D-D-Daddy! I..I's.I'm gonna.." Ben gasped, the poopies were rushing out so fast and the warm mush around his dicky felt soo good. ..but he was suppose to make his cummie humping daddies leg! Kevin seemed to know what was wrong and just smiled, picking Ben up and squishing his smelly rear. "it's ok buddy. you can make goo goo gaga." he said and then kissed Ben on the lips. the kiss pushed him over the edge and months of pent up baby milk joined Ben's poopies, the big babies eyes rolling back in his head as he came super hard. before he blacked out from the pure pleasure his little loser body was experiencing, Ben had one thought. 'Sex is over rated. this is the bestest way to cum!'

The end

[mychemicalimagines]

Happens Like That-Jim Halpert-Chapter 6

Summary: Jim Halpert and Melissa Ford have been best friends since he started at Dunder Mifflin in 1999. Now that a camera crew is following the employees around so they can film a documentary, do they finally tell each other their feelings? Or do they just let them go? Either way, what will become of these two best friends? 

Warnings: Cussing and Smut in later chapters.

Words: 2721

Tag List: @you-a-southpaw-doll @elskinner45 @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @goddessathenaofwar​ @simonsbluee​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @thinemineours​​ 

A/N: Here you go guys!! I hope you like it!!

Mel’s POV: (Flashback)

I look up from my book as Jim walks outta the ocean, the water rolling down his  chest. He grins and wipes some of the wet sand from his face. I giggle to myself. He’d just faceplacted in the water after stepping in a small hole on the water’s edge as the water washed away, going out with the tide. I set my book down as he gets closer.

“You ok, babe?” I ask.

He chuckles. “Yea...that sand was slipperier than I was expecting.”

I laugh. “It’s sand...that goes with the water...what else did you expect?” 

He laughs. “Hush. You’re lucky you’re my girlfriend,”

I giggle and blush, nodding. “You’re right. I am lucky. I still can’t believe it. I came to Hawaii, single and ready to mingle. Now, I’m the luckiest girl ever. All ‘cause you asked me out with a turtle and an ice cream cone.”

He grins. “I’m the lucky one, sweetheart.” 

He leans over and kisses my cheek, making me blush even more than I already was, which just has him chuckling and wrapping his arms around me. I snuggle up to him, forgetting about my book as I look out at the sunsetting on the ocean and think back to how Jim finally asked me to be his girlfriend three days ago. 

It was our second afternoon in Hawaii. We’d just gotten back to shore after a scuba diving trip in one of the coves. While we were walking to the fancy hotel we’d been put up in for this trip, my tummy growled, and Jim made the decision to take us on a detour to get food. I wasn’t about to complain. Food is good. 

We stopped at a little seafood shack, one we’d found the day before and fell in love with. Since we’d already hung out so much prior to this trip, Jim already knew what I loved to eat and what I couldn’t stand. He ordered our food while I looked around in my bag for my sunglasses. When he came back to me a few minutes later, food in hand, I had my sunglasses on my face. 

We ate as we walked along the beach. By the time we’d finished eating, Jim spotted this boat about to head out. He noticed it because there was a giant “Free Ice Cream” banner hanging on the side of it. We hurried over to it; both Jim and I love ice cream, and it being free made it ten times better. It was after we got onboard that we saw it was the kind with the glass bottom in the middle of it so tourists could see into the water.

Jim got us some ice cream cones and I sat down on one of the benches, looking through the glass and see some of the marine life move about below the boat. Within a few minutes, the local captain had the boat leaving the dock, and we were heading out for a tour of the island from the water. I watched the fish swim below, and squealed excitedly when I saw a giant sea turtle swim by.

Jim looked and he chuckled, knowing how happy turtles made me. I was so enthralled with the turtle that I nearly forgot about my ice cream cone till he gently reminded me it was there by wiping some of the melted cream off my hand. I giggled and thanked him and went back to watching the turtle swimming, absentmindedly finishing my ice cream too.

It didn’t take long before the turtle swam outta sight. I got sad since I wanted to keep watching the turtle. Jim gently ushered me to the bow of the boat, and pointed into the water. I looked down and squealed happily again when I saw that same turtle. I felt Jim’s hand on my lower back and smiled as I watched the turtle just swimming, peacefully.

I was so into watching the turtle that it took me a few minutes to realize Jim was talking to me. I looked up at him. 

“Sorry. What?” I asked.

He chuckled softly and smiled at me. “I was saying you look so happy and beautiful, watching that lone turtle.”

I blushed. “Thank you.” 

I looked back down at the water. He took a deep, somewhat shaky breath and whispered my name. I looked up at him, and could tell he was nervous about something. What it was, I didn’t know. He gently took both my hands in his, and smiled.

“Mel. You know I like you, and I’m fairly sure you like me too. Since the moment I met you at work, I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to do this, and if I should even do it. This trip...that turtle...it’s made me realize that I should. I…” He took another deep breath and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. “Will...will you be my girlfriend, Mel?”

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes watered. I could tell he got a little more nervous the longer it took me to answer. I couldn’t find my voice to answer him, so I pulled my hands from his in order to wrap my arms ‘round his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. He hesitated for a brief second before his arms made their way around my waist and held me close as he kissed me back. 

After a long moment, I pulled from the kiss to take a deep breath in. I cupped his cheeks and smiled.

“James Halpert. Yes. I’ll be your girlfriend.” I whispered.

He smiled wider than the Mississippi River after a major flood and whispered. “Yeah?”

I grinned and nodded. “Yeah.”

He kissed me again, smiling against my lips. I giggled into the kiss. He pulled back first and just held me close. After a few minutes, we turned to look out at the water. He kept his right arm around my waist as I laid my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that as the boat continued along its path and the sun slowly set over the island’s mountains to the left of us.

Mel’s POV: (Two Weeks Later)

For the last two weeks, Jim and I have been hiding our relationship from the rest of the staff. Mainly because we didn’t want any interference. We know that Michael would do something to embarrass us or even announce our relationship to the whole company. We wanted to tell everyone on our own terms, which so far no one but our families know. 

Since we were best friends ever since he started the company, no one ever questioned when we left together or rode in the same car. Tonight is the companies Dundie Awards.

Well it’s more like Michael’s Dundie Awards. Every year he puts together an award ceremony to talk about us to our faces, it seems. 

Every year I receive the same award: “Employee Everyone wants to Screw” Award. Needless to say, I don’t really look forward to this event. I step out of Jim’s car when we get to Chili’s. I look over at him, as I walk around the front of the car to him.

“Do we have to go in? We can stay we stopped by, but it was too full?” I whine slightly.

He chuckles. “I still haven’t went grocery shopping, and there’s no food at my house. So we have to stay. Plus, we get to see Michael make an ass out of himself like we do every year.”

I think to myself for a minute. “Deal.” 

I look around the parking lot and see no one we work with. I lean up and press my lips to his in a soft kiss. He doesn’t hesitate to kiss back. We pull away after a second and smile. He winks at me and smiles a little more. 

“Let’s go inside, baby.” 

I nod at his words. He puts his hand on my lower back as we walk toward the building. We instantly know where to go by the music that is playing and Michael on some kind of microphone. 

“You down with the Dundies? You down with the Dundie-” 

Michael tries to sing into the mic when the music is cut off. He looks around and then at Dwight. 

“The waitress tripped over the cord.” Dwight bends down to plug it back in. 

Jim and I walk over to our seats which are next to, Ryan, Pam and Roy. I take off my jacket and lays it across my lap. 

“So we are here, thank you all for coming to the 2005 Dundie awards.” Michael says, taking off his sweater to reveal a tuxedo. 

I roll my eyes and looks at Jim. He glances at me and shrugs before turning back to Michael.

“I am your host, Michael Scott. And I just want to tell you please, please, do not drink and drive. Because you may hit a bump and spill the drink.” 

Before Michael can say anymore, we all hear Kevin say to the waitress. “Just put these on the group tab.”

“Nope, actually this year, uhh, no group tab. We’re going to be doing separate checks.” Michael says into the mic.

Stanley starts a little fight with Michael and I look at Jim.

“I didn’t bring my debit card. Just my ID..” 

“Don’t worry, Mel. I got your check.” He smiles and pats his pocket where his wallet is.

“No Jim. It’s fine-” 

“No, Mel.” He leans over and whispers. “Date night. I’ll pay.” 

I giggle quietly. “Alright if you say so. But I’m not drinking.” 

“Deal.” He smirks 

We hear Roy lean over and whisper to Pam. “Hey. Let’s go to Poor Richard’s.”

Pam just nods and stands up grabbing her jacket. Michael looks up.

“Guys, where you going? Pam, show’s just started.” Michael says.

“Sorry.” Roy takes her hand and they walk out of Chili’s.

I sigh and looks at Jim. “Great. Now my best friend left.” 

Jim glances at me and smiles. I stopped calling him my best friend when he’s around since he is now my boyfriend. Ryan looks at Jim.

“You guys staying?”

“Yeah, gotta eat somewhere.” Jim smiles. 

Michael raises one of the Dundie awards. “And now…To someone who quietly goes about their job, but always seems to land the biggest accounts...the ‘Busiest Beaver’ award goes to Phyllis Lapin!”

Everyone starts clapping and Phyllis gets out of her booth. She walks up toward Michael but making sure to high five Jim and I on the way. Every year she stops and high fives us since we do the same to her. I giggle when she walks to the ‘stage area.’

“Yeah! Way to go Phyllis! Nice work, per usual.” Michael says.

“This say ‘Bushiest Beaver.’” She says looking at the award.

My eyes widen and I look right at Michael.

“What! I told them Busiest! Idiots.” Michael tries to say.

“It-It’s fine” Phyllis says, turning around and walking past us again. 

She squeezes my shoulder and goes to her booth.

“Well, we’ll fix that up! You don’t have to display that one.” Michael says, trying to make up for it.

An hour goes by and I receive my plate of food. I got their Fettuccine Alfredo and right before I dig in, Michael starts talking into the mic.

“This next award goes to someone who is really good at sports. We had our first Basketball game and this person won the whole game for us. Even though they almost broke their nose! The ‘Best Basketball Player’ award goes to...Melissa Ford.” 

I look up as every starts cheering and clapping. I made it so no one in the office had to work that Saturday. I stand up and run over to Phyllis. I give her a quick high five before walking up to Michael. I take the award, but he holds my arm for a second before waving to Jim to come onto the stage. Jim puts down one of his Soft Shell Crab Legs and walks up to us.

Michael leans over to him and whispers. “You have to give this next award. Last year she hit me.”

Jim looks confused but nods. Michael points to the cue cards Ryan is holding.

Jim starts reading. “This next award goes to somebody who really lights up the office. Someone, who I think a lot of us, cannot keep from checking out.” He pauses then glances at Michael. “The ‘Employee Everyone Wants to Screw’ award also goes to Melissa!” I start laughing as Jim shakes his head and continues to read. “This is the 7th time Melissa has won this award. Meaning she’s won it every year since she started.”

I take the award as Michael starts singing. “Hidy ho, you sexy thang. You sexy thang you!” 

I snap my head to him then he stops singing. I walk back down to my seat. Jim follows me down and sits down.

“That was not weird or anything,” Jim whispers.

I giggle and put my awards on the table and start to eat. As we eat our food, Michael continues to give out awards. Angela got the ‘Tight Ass’ award for being everyone’s favorite stickler and for having a great ‘caboose’. The new girl Kelly got the ‘Spicy Curry’ awards, which none of us knows what that means. 

Ryan won the ‘Hottest Temp’ award, because apparently, besides me, he’s the hottest in the office. Kevin got the ‘Don’t Go in There After Me’ award for always stinking up the bathroom. That was going to be the last award because some drunk customers in the area next to ours were trying to get Michael to stop. 

This is usually Michael’s favorite party we have so I decided to make him happy.

“Yay Kevin! Woooo for Kevin, for stinking up the bathroom!” I start clapping to cheer up Michael.

Jim catches on to what I’m doing and starts clapping. “Yeah! Alright Kev!”

More people start clapping and Michael smiles a little.

“More Awards! Not everyone got one!” I shout to Michael.

“Yeah! I haven’t gotten one either! Keep going!”

“More Dundies!” I start chanting.

Jim and I start clapping and chanting. “Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!” 

Everyone starts chanting along with us and Michael smiles widely, getting his Dundies Spirit back.

“Alright, alright!” He laughs, “We’ll keep rolling. This is the ‘Fine Work’ award. This goes to Stanley for all the fine work he did this year.”

Stanley goes up and gets his award. I cheer a little.

“Go Stan! Yeah man! Good job!” I giggle slightly as Stanley smiles a little at me.

“Now, Pam left but the award she would have one would have been the ‘Whitest Sneakers.’ She usually would have one the ‘Longest Engagement’ award but they are actually getting married next week.” I cheer for Pam even though she isn’t there. 

The night comes to a close when Michael holds up the last Dundie.

“This award goes to the prankiest employee we have. It’s the ‘Jim Halpert’ award. It of course goes to Jim Halpert because there is only one of him and we can never get enough of those pranks.”

I start laughing as Jim stands up. He walks up to Michael taking the award.

“Thanks Michael. Umm...this isn’t going to be an every year award is it?” Jim asks quietly.

“Probably not. I just didn’t know what to give you,” Michael answers.

Jim nods and walks back down to me. He sits down. 

“So we got to see Ping. We learned of Michael’s true feelings for Ryan. Very touching. Um.. We heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs. Which for me ruined them all for life.” Jim says listing everything that’s happened tonight.

“I won two awards.” I giggle. “Which has never happened.” 

“You deserve all the awards.” Jim says, looking into my eyes.

“Wait...Even the ‘Don’t Go in After Me’ award?” I tease.

“Well that one night after pizza last week, yeah you deserve it.” He says, with a semi-straight face.

“James!” I shout.

He starts laughing and clapping  his hands. He then grabs his coat, running out of the Chili’s. I chase after him laughing. This has been a wonderful evening. Successful Dundies this year. 

[incorrect-alien-force-quotes]

[Team 10 is being held prisoner. Ben is unconscious and mumbling about something.]

Gwen: Poor Ben. What'd they dose him with? Sodium pentathol?

Kevin: Solid food and water. His body's spend years wrestling nutrients out of smoothies and chili fries. I expect he thinks he's been poisoned.

[fuzzballsheltiepants]

Hey! Combine 46: “ Can I kiss you right now? ”57: “ Is that my shirt? ”59: “ You own my heart. ” with your choice of jerejean or jeaneil ♡♡♡♡♡

I had too much fun with this!  It’s unedited and I’m exhausted so forgive any stupid mistakes:

Jeremy slammed his laptop shut and glared at the lid with its stupid smug rainbow Trojan decal.  He was halfway tempted to test its aerodynamics out his upstairs window, but he didn’t want the hassle of buying a new one.  And it wasn’t precisely the computer’s fault that that ridiculous reporter hadn’t been able to keep her mouth shut.  Or that he had watched the interview on repeat half a dozen times, and it didn’t get better with familiarity.

He pulled out his phone and started to tap out a text, but it was coming out all wrong and he slammed the little backspace button aggressively.  Screw this. He’d go take a shower, blast his music as loud as he wanted, and when he finished all of this bullshit would be behind him and he could make dinner in peace.

It sorta/kinda worked, at least until he came back downstairs in his favorite oversized shirt and threadbare sweatpants, hair still wet, humming Wait For It under his breath.  His phone binged at him; he checked it reflexively and saw a text from Kevin Day of all people.  He didn’t even read the damn thing, just let the phone fall; it bounced off the edge of the table, hit the chair on the way down, and landed, face down, on the tile floor.  

Figured.  

He had planned on some broiled fish and veggies with that passably-edible whole grain couscous his nutritionist had hooked him up with, but there was no way in hell he was eating that now.  Luckily there were some onions, a habanero, and a packet of ground beef in the fridge, and his mother had sent him her home-canned tomatoes a few weeks ago.  

If ever he needed to make chili, today was that day.  It didn’t take long before the familiar aroma of sauteing onions was wafting through the whole first floor. There was something so comforting about the routine of chopping and frying, the scents and the sounds.  After a few minutes, his heart rate had slowed enough that he went and snagged his phone off the floor.  By some miracle, the screen hadn’t cracked.  Okay.  One good thing today.

Cranking Hamilton back up, by the time he was stirring in the tomatoes he was bopping along with the music.  He had gotten into it with one of the defensemen on his team over Hamilton, but he defied anyone to really listen to it and not get completely entranced.  Jeremy lacked the willpower not to sing along; he didn’t even give a shit that he absolutely sucked.  “I am not throwing away My. Shot.  I am not throwing away. My. Shot.”  He spun around in the kitchen, holding his wooden spoon like a microphone—only to discover Jean standing, bemused or amused, in the doorway.

Jeremy immediately hid the spoon behind his back, and Jean’s beautiful mouth twitched up.  “Is that my shirt?” Jean asked, surveying Jeremy.

“No,” Jeremy said.  Jean raised one eyebrow.  “It was your shirt, but I have claimed it in the name of missing you.”

Jean laughed and dropped his suitcase to come into the kitchen.  Jeremy tossed the spoon onto the counter and let Jean pull him into his arms.  “I missed you,” Jean murmured into his ear.  

“Me too.  I didn’t think you’d be back until later.” 

“I caught an earlier flight.”

Jeremy wasn’t precisely short, but Jean could still rest his cheek on the top of his head and standing like that was Jeremy’s favorite thing in the world.  He wanted to stay there for the rest of time, or at least until bedtime, but after a not-long-enough moment Jean released him.

“It’s a chili night?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, looking over his shoulder at the pot just beginning to bubble.

“What happened?”

Ugh, Jean knew him too well.  Jeremy went over to stir the chili and turn the heat down on the stove; he felt like he was being eaten alive from the inside out, all interest in food devoured by the parasite of anxiety.  “You saw the interview?”  It was almost impossible to meet Jean’s eyes; it would have been unforgivable not to.

“I did, mon cher.  You did brilliantly.”  There was no lie in his beautiful gray eyes, but Jeremy literally did not know how he could say such a thing.  He almost wondered if Jean had missed the all-important last two minutes.

“I outed us.”

Jean nodded.  “Yes, I noticed.”  There was no humor in his voice, no dismissal, no censure.  “But given the disgusting things they were asking about Laila and Sara, I don’t blame you.  I probably would have been far less…diplomatic.”

The gnawing creature in Jeremy’s gut quieted.  It had been appalling, the way the woman had tried to goad him into trashing his former teammates.  And her jaw-dropped shock had been rather amusing when, instead, he had calmly informed her that no, he did not believe that they were setting a poor example for young girls, and that if they were then so were he and Jean, and honestly half of professional exy.

“Can I kiss you right now?” he blurted out.

Now Jean did laugh.  “I didn’t think you needed to ask.”  He closed the gap between them.  

He would never get tired of this feeling.  It had been years since Jean had showed up in California, a battered shell of a person, his soul retreated into the deepest crevices in an attempt to survive.  Every moment since then had been a small miracle, but kissing Jean—the fact that somehow he had managed to earn Jean’s trust and love—well, that was the eighth wonder of the world.    

Somehow he managed not to burn the chili, and they spent the rest of the night talking.  About Jean’s trip to New York; about the movie they had been wanting to see; about the end of the season and their plans for the few weeks before their national teams called them up.  Jeremy still couldn’t believe that if all went well they’d be playing against each other in the Exy World Cup tournament, but so it was.  And then they spent time not talking much at all.

Later, so long past midnight Jeremy couldn’t even believe the clock, he lay curled onto Jean’s chest, listening to the slow thud of his heart and letting the tension of the past twenty four hours dissipate into nothingness.  None of that bullshit mattered anyway, not when he had this.

Just before he fell asleep, Jean murmured something in sleepy French.  Jeremy wasn’t so good at French, and it took him a few moments to piece this together.  When he did, tears started in his eyes.  You own my heart.  

Jeremy tucked himself in impossibly tighter to Jean’s side, thinking of the ring he had bought while Jean was in New York, that would be ready to be picked up tomorrow.  “You own my soul,” he whispered, then let himself drift off into dreams.

[lovedinapastlife]

3x13 “Requiem for a Welterweight” - Riverdale Reaction

I love waking up to the smell of bacon. Oh, no. Wait. That’s betrayal, bribery, and manipulation. My mistake.

How did Jughead not wake up to the smell of BACON? That sizzle is fierce. I have so many questions about the Jones kitchen. Who put up the hot chili lights? Why is a cutting board out for toast and eggs?

Breakfast allegory. Jughead’s family is pretending to be wholesome and Betty’s fully aware of how fucked hers is. Poor girl is just resigned to her cereal

When did Veronica move back into the Pembrook?

What is that on Hiram’s pin? An octopus? ‘Cuz he wants his arms in everything? I love it. I see Cthulu in this show’s future. Archie will be shipwrecked. I’m calling it now.

Archie…no more skipping class. He keeps resigning himself as an ex-con, but wasn’t he exonerated? Sometimes when he says things I just…I don’t believe that even he believes it, no matter how sweet his smile is.

I love Betty’s smile at Jughead when he says “I’ll make this right” because she’s so proud of her bae. Eight high school girls were in the Serpents, and now they wanna go to the Pret-ty Poi-sons? They do know where Choni’s loyalties are, right? Which is...in her own bed and whim.

Veronica: “I want my family out of drugs” Gladys: “So we both want the same thing!” Man, I WISH that line meant Gladys wanted her own family out of drugs XD Woman, your husband is an addict. Your tween drinks caffeine. Think of the CHILDREN! As far as I know Jughead’s addicted to leadership, justice, Betty, and maybe burgers, so he’s like...o-kay. Also I love how Hiram literally just lets her drink and be a mafiosa and she’s like, “Can’t you gangsters sort this amongst yourselves? Do you see a pearl necklace or Serpent jacket? No. Not interested.” Not a great spy. Or person, lately. Let V be a teen!

Toni is SUCH a FUCKING USELESS TOXIC BIIIIIITCH. And yeah, she BETTER walk away. I don’t see a crown on that skull and...lipstick print leather jacket. 

Toni has never ruled, never taken on a role or responsibility even close to Queen because she sucks at decision-making, calming people down, fighting, most recon, and she also doesn’t even try to learn how to shoot arrows. She couldn’t get through one public protest without mousing out! She tries to manipulate Cheryl into causing chaos, and yells at her when it doesn’t go the way she wants (she wants to hurt Betty/Jug instead of Fangs/Pea). It reminds me of when she tried to manipulate Jughead into taking over the Serpents so she could puppet him. Easily the worst character in the show for me, and that’s including the bullshit parents. Anything admirable beyond her hair and makeup is beyond me.

“MINE or YOURS” Isn’t it supposed to be “OURS?” God, I hate this storyline. How often do I get to say Cheryl deserves better?!

Also, the Pretty Poisons, which supposedly has a bunch of defected Serpents in it, beating the shit out of Fangs and Sweet Pea bc Toni feels threatened that they’re a “vanity project” (which...they are, little mini-Cheryls and Tonis in progress), is BULLSHIT. The guys aren’t going to fight them back, they even say they don’t mean them harm! They used to be close friends or at least co-gang members sworn not to hurt each other! Toni has no respect for the Serpents and neither does Cheryl or their girl gang, who honestly kind of are terrible so far. And AGAIN, Cheryl doesn’t even do the hitting, nor does Toni! This is not “empowering women.” It’s toxic. Like POISON. Maybe that’s what they intend, to show that they’re awful, but I doubt it.

I didn’t realize how many dream catchers are now in the Cooper house until this crazy cult waiver scene

“I’m gonna lose.” “With that attitude you are.” Just keep shaking your head at him, Josie. So they’re walking around together at school, but we haven’t seen anybody’s reaction to their dating. Humph.

“My mom is joining a cult, and nobody else seems to be worried about it except for me.” Betty, my heart breaks for you. I feel so bad. Kevin, you are the woooooooorst pretend bestie. “Don’t be so eager to see the worst in people.” Um, remember that person she didn’t trust and you brushed her off? NICK ST. CLAIRE. Oh. Chic? Yeah. Also terrible. All Kevin cares about is his dick and I hope the writers realize how selfish all the outed gay characters are portrayed lately. A lot of the characters in general, honestly. I want to see more good friendships and behavior.

Hahaha Gladys is eating a sucker and reading “Sophisticate” while wearing leather suspenders in her trailer living room where her kid sleeps on the couch. That is a MOOD.

When Jug said, “Are you Curt/Kurt?” I thought he meant it as an adjective. I just looked around like, “how are drugged out psychos who take the time to carve up and hang baby doll pieces going to be a valiant addition to your gang?”

This show is too damn dark. Literally dark. I like the allegory of the light with Jughead but...this scene was just to remind us the Gargoyle Gang is creepy. I remember. Don’t worry.

I feel bad for the extras working out in the background during the Archie/Keller training scene. How many sit ups and push ups were done that day? I’m more worried about them than Archie at this point. Also Keller as a gym teacher would be tight. I want him to call people by their last names and exercise authority and stay trim for his lady love

Jughead looks so sad that they’ve lost their minds to the corruption of the town, and everyone tells him to forget about it. Just like everyone tells Betty to forget about her cult mom, but neither of them are letting the world tell them to stop investigating or caring and I love them for it.

Are the core four even friends? We saw Bughead for two seconds and Archie didn’t invite anyone to his bloodbath. Okay, and do they just want to put fake blood on Archie all the time? Aesthetic him up with blood because of his red hair?

Polly is definitely hoping to kill her mother. She’s like, “Ai’ight, I’ll take that bitch’s blood on my hands. But not on my outfit.” I loved the first-person warped perspective of being dunked under the water. Betty saves the day and doesn’t catch a break. This poor child.

I dunno. I’m not into Archie and Josie. I don’t see the appeal on either end beyond young, pretty, and horny. I think they both have their independent strengths. Josie’s outfits were great this episode. I’m ready to move on, but I prefer watching them to typical Lodge out-manipulation scenes that go nowhere.

“I was reborn” I WISH! I wish you were reborn as a parent who isn’t a total psycho bag of bricks meant to emotionally abuse your daughters. Casa Cooper is cursed. Except for that beautiful fucking bedroom. Let’s go back there, shall we?

Ah, much better.

[cherry3point14]

Dean Winchester definitely isn't in love, so don't ask him about it    

DESCRIPTION: All the times that Dean definitely didn’t have any feelings for you and totally wasn’t pining away like a lovesick puppy, so if everyone could shut up about it that’d be great.

THIS IS A ONESHOT AS PART OF THE ALONE SERIES, WHICH YOU CAN READ HERE OR HERE (AO3), I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU READ THIS AFTER THAT FIC AS THIS IS AS ADD ON TO THAT STORY.

[A collection of Dean POV drabbles glued together to make a oneshot of how Dean fell in love with you (in the multi-chap fic Alone). Ranging from S9 E5 up to S10 E12. Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader. Warnings: MOC!Dean and mentions of Demon!Dean. 14 Year old Dean cannot control his body.]

AO3 link here if you would prefer.

The first time he sees you

The first time Dean sees you he thinks you're dead. He gets that familiar churn in his chest, guilt at having lost another one. You make three. They'd already found two dead girls downstairs so you, hanging there lifeless, makes three dead girls.

If only they'd have got here sooner but they weren't exactly scouring missing person reports while the Wicked Witch of the West was loose in the bunker. He knows sometimes they miss some, but it doesn't make it any easier and like every other time, he's still taking it personally. Three dead girls because of one bloodsucking Djinn, and him not getting there fast enough. The Djinn he can kill, it's harder to forgive himself.

Suddenly he wishes he'd twisted that knife into the son of a bitches heart a little deeper.

Course, that is before they actually get to you and your eyes flutter open. You look like you don't have blood left in you but somehow, you're still kicking. And just like that, he thinks he's going to get to save one as he tells Sam to cut you down. That'll do for today, just let him save one of you and maybe he'll be able to sleep tonight.

Then you talk. He's about to tell you not too, you're weak right now and you shouldn't be talking but you ask about the other one. Dean prepares to tell you about monsters being real and these ones in particular. Djinn are lonely cave dwellers. They live alone.

He never gets a chance before you grab the knife from Sam and shove Dean out of the way, with strength you shouldn't have after being drained of your blood for God knows how long. He doesn't even finish blinking and you've killed the Djinn who'd been lurking behind him and saved his ass instead.

And when he asks if you're a hunter you basically call him an idiot.

Somehow, Dean knows you'll be ok.

The first time you leave

Dean hadn't liked the idea of leaving you with Kevin at first. Sam had been insistent since you were in pretty bad shape after the Djinn and Dean could admit you did kind of save their lives right after they saved yours. But Kevin was family, Dean was just being careful.

You making fun of him down the phone hadn't really improved his opinion of you, he'd been really excited to see the squirrel.

It's when they get back to the bunker, and Dean still swears he's got an itch behind his ear, that he changes his mind about you.

Because Kevin—won't take breaks because he wants everything to be over and still mourning his mother—is running around the bunker playing hide and seek. Dean doesn't think he's ever seen the kid look like he's having so much fun. When Sam clears his throat to get Kevin's attention he looks embarrassed, but he still animatedly talks about the afternoon you've both spent playing cards and board games. He claims he only started because you were annoying him while you were bored, but then he's talking about his strategy in Monopoly that should have worked so maybe you'd cheated.

Damn. Dean kind of super fucking appreciates you making this kid take the day off because Kevin suddenly reminds him of the kid they first picked up all that time ago. The innocent kid from advanced placement before heaven and hell were after him. 

Although with his track record Dean should have known that the fun was never going to last.

He's never really heard something as loud as your scream and he's heard angels talk. He knows that might be a slight exaggeration, but it is goddam frightening when you're screaming so loud about finding Crowley.

Somehow, it's even worse when you leave quietly.

He takes you back to your car because he's not a dick. If you want to leave he's not going to try and stop you. Doing the sensitive thing is Sam's gig.

He's just glad when you stop crying on the journey because crying chicks are definitely not his rodeo. Not unless he's saving them anyway.

And despite your freak out, you don't seem like you need saving.

He's horrified when he sees what you consider a car. It's one of those things that's more computer than engine and you try to sell him on the heated seats. Of course, he can't show you that he's actually intrigued by that, not with Baby right there. His hand rests on her hood while he watches you get in your truck and spend a moment appreciating it before you come back. 

He doesn’t understand what there is to appreciate but he doesn’t say anything more about it. 

He makes you leave with his number and a promise to check-in, not before you insist he checks in with you.

Maybe he can manage that.

The first time you text

He's sitting in the car after having watched Cas go into his date when his phone goes off.

Breaking News. Bieber has been arrested. How are the pretty boys of America dealing with this crisis?

Dean can't help but smile at the screen. He hasn't heard from you since he drove away leaving you with your transformer truck and this is the first thing you text him?

No comment. And you've gotta keep my membership a secret.

He throws his phone down on the seat next to him and drives off hearing it buzz while he's on the road. He's smirking at the sound when the Sheriff calls and he changes direction to head to the station instead.

It's not until Cas is sliding out of the passenger seat the next morning, after his adventures in babysitting and Dean's own continuing adventures in angel killing, that he looks at the message you'd sent back the previous night.

A secret? Oh, you poor pretty dummy. It's true what they say, brains or brawn. Can't have it all.

Dean doesn't type back and instead opts to drive back to the bunker first. When he gets there Sam is, as ever, reading something that looks like the most boring book they own. And they have a whole library of boring.

He snaps a picture of Sam and sends it back with a caption.

This is what brains look like in its natural habitat. There's no case, he is choosing to do this for fun.

He sits down opposite Sam waiting for the reply, which only takes a minute.

What a nerd. I'll take a pretty face any day of the week.

He only realizes how much he's grinning when he hears Sam's voice, "what are you so happy about? How did it go with Cas?"

The first time he doesn't tell you something

He doesn't like watching Crowley walk up the stairs and out of sight. It makes his shoulders tense and his fingers twitch like they're missing a weapon. Too many times has he fallen into a pattern of working with Crowley and usually the outcome is the same, bad. But really what the hell is he supposed to do? He needs to find Sam and the angel currently taking his brother for a joy ride. He needs to focus on the person he can still save.

His brain is about to dwell on Kevin again when his phone vibrates in his pocket, like an electric shock, and your name flashes on the screen.

When he opens it there's a picture. You're holding your phone up for a selfie that encompasses your face and the table in front of you. Your free hand is lifting a fry from the plate of chili fries below, but it's still attached by stringy cheese and blobs of meat while your face is frozen in some over the top look of pleasure. Eyes rolling in the back of your head and tongue hanging out of your mouth. Underneath is a caption.

Better than sex.

He really tried to resist but the corners of his lips curl upwards for the briefest of seconds. It's a momentary reminder that everything isn't fire and brimstone and dick angels. But it's also a reminder he doesn't deserve. He slips his phone back into his pocket without replying and flushes that small spark of joy from his system.

The one thing he's grateful for is neither of you talks about the deep shit because he doesn't think he can bear to tell another person about Kevin. Even the idea of telling you, who only knew him for all of a few days, is too much anguish for Dean to consider. He buries that shit. He tells himself it's not something you do over text anyway and he can't call you from a CIA outpost either.

Then when Crowley returns with news of Baby he's back behind the wheel of the pimpmobile. He's got a brother to save and a mission.

The first time you don't text back

Dean is consumed by a lot of things. Guilt is probably the main one but, in fairness, he has a lot to feel guilty about. Anger is another. Before the mark, he could focus his anger, use it to sharpen his senses, make him a better hunter but now? With the mark slowly draining the things that make him Dean it's only the anger that remains. An unrestricted fury that swallows him whole sometimes.

Since he touched the first blade though, since he took a life with it, something else lights him up like the sky on 4th July. Need. Hunger. To hold the blade again and never let go. To kill with it. 

It's getting harder to fight the more he tries to. Every minute that passes he can feel the power surge up his arm like he's still holding it.

So, it's a relief to be distracted. He's mostly been distracting himself with his faithful friend, drink. She's comforting and safe and takes the edge off, if only temporarily.

The last few days there's been another, not necessarily good distraction, that he's been clinging to so tightly he's becoming stalker level obsessive but screw it, he's worried.

Sometimes you've made him wait a day for a reply, he assumes you're on a hunt, but it's been three days now with nothing. He's tried starting one of your casual arguments or sending you a joke about Sam being too tall to tie his own shoes, but nothing. Radio silence.

The concern is enough for him to break down and finally send you a message that straight up tells you he's worried.

Not heard from you in a few days, check-in at some point, ok?

He'd hoped it would be enough to force a reply if you knew he was serious. But he finds himself swirling his scotch in one hand and thumbing through his unanswered message history in the other. Which is looking one-sided and excessive on his part.

Then Crowley shows up. Dean barely resists punching the demon in the face and he only manages that since the bottom feeder has the blade and that's the only way to kill Abaddon. Dean does allow himself a huff and eye roll combo though, "you're like a bad case of the clap, every time I think you're gone you pop up again."

"Always the charmer." Is all the king of hell replies as Dean escapes to the pool table.

What follows is a few hours of annoyance. Trying to ignore the demon who is so intent on not being ignored, until finally Dean is saving Crowley from a low-level wannabe bad guy and burying all thoughts of you in favor of the thing he really needs to do. Kill Abaddon.

He guesses putting aside his worry is just one more thing to feel guilty about.

The second time you almost die on him

He hadn't realized how bothered he was about not hearing from you, now for four weeks and six days, until he's leaving the penthouse where he's just killed carrot top.

There's a lot of things he's repressed. It's a damn hobby of his. Dean Winchester hasn't had a good day if he hasn't swallowed a complicated emotion and washed it down with a whiskey chaser. Some come back to haunt him, some stay where he keeps them, mostly.

Not often do they come back as quickly as his concern for you.

He swears he tried to sleep when they got back to the bunker, but it was pointless. He had a case to work, the case just happened to be you.

One plus side of the mark of Cain? Better than any caffeine buzz when he needed to be focused. It's just that increasingly the focus becomes violent or murder-y.  

He checks the GPS on your car but it's static at some motel in Columbus. The address gets written down anyway, just in case, but if something happened to you he doubts they took you in your own truck. Then he checks in with a few hunters that he figures might be mutual acquaintances and the ones that are haven't heard from you either. It's when Sam wanders in that he tracks your phone and sees it hasn't had a ping in over a month.

Or about four weeks and six days, give or take.

It's a few miles from the motel your ridiculous red truck is sitting at and it's as good a place as any to start.

He's only half-aware he's been having a conversation with Sam the whole time.

Dean can feel the tension in his body as he drives, accompanied by that heavy, sickly feeling of anticipation he gets when he's on a hunt. The one that sits in his gut when he's trying to save someone.

Who knows, maybe you're fine. Maybe you've shacked up with a Townie and you've spent the last four weeks living carefree.

He knows that's not what's happened.

From the outside, the building looks like a piss poor version of every bad guy's lair ever. It's a few miles out of town against a lonely highway and looks about ten minutes away from crumbling under its own weight.

Sam tries to suggest scoping out the place before going in hot, but Dean shakes his head to end that train of thought before it starts. He doesn't care what's in there. With the blade tucked in the back of his jeans, he feels invincible but it's more than that. It's the familiar anger emanating from the mark. The vengeful fury that he can't control when his emotions are already running so high.

After all, he's already wasted four weeks and six days, give or take.

They kick down the main doors together, guns raised, but only his door splinters away from its hinges. His boots pound the concrete and he's ready for a fight, he needs a fight.

Except there are only two other people in the room. There's a woman standing over a table with something sharp in her hand and there's this other person. Chained to said table and as he gets closer, shouting for the stranger to get back, he sees the prisoners face.

Your face.

He's about to shoot the woman standing a few feet in front of him, with utter boredom on her face, but she flashes black eyes. It'd be easy to say that he's doing it for you, that shooting isn't good enough for this bitch who's been keeping you here. But as his fingers wrap around the hilt of the first blade forging a connection between the mark and the blade and his unfettered bloodlust, it's not about anything except the pure joy that he gets as he drives it into her chest.

Her death flashes in his eyes as he stands steadfast, watching the demon become nothing but an empty, dead shell. 

It's the voice he hasn't heard in months that pulls him back from the murderous haze. A quiet and broken whisper and then sobs. He turns his whole body in the direction of those sounds and takes in the sight of you. Mangled and bleeding. Some parts of you so bruised that he can't imagine what was done to cause it. The blade slips from his hand like he's scared the sight of it is going to frighten you.

The same hand that had held it, the same hand that had killed this Demon, curls into the ends of your hair while you cry. He wants to hold you, but he doesn't want to break you any more than you already are so this is all he can think to do. Shushing noises and his fingers tangled in the knots on your head.

This time he's not so sure you're going to be ok.

The first time he doesn't text you back

He sent the message before he summoned Crowley. It does nothing to ease how shitty he feels about this to you.

He can feel his phone buzzing continuously in his back pocket, you must be calling, when Crowley arrives with a complaint on his lips. 

All throughout the conversation, while Crowley spouts out his knowledge of the mark, that it's controlling him now and he'll die if he doesn't kill, the image of you bloody and broken is in the back of his head.

"And you're gonna help me."

Crowley actually looks interested, "and why am I going to do that?"

"Because I haven't killed you yet for what you did to her."

Crowley isn't stupid enough to laugh in Deans's face like he normally would, but he doesn't hold back the bite in his retort. "Oh squirrel. So sensitive still. Y/N got what was coming to her. Besides, what's to stop you killing me once you've got the blade and a full dose from the mark?"

Dean lets out a sigh. He's fighting the part of him that's still telling him not to do this.

"Because I want to gut Metatron more than I want you dead."

Crowley smiles. After a brief reprieve, Dean’s phone starts buzzing again. He takes it out only to turn it off before he nods and escapes with Crowley in tow.

The first time you don't say goodbye

He hasn't left his room since Cas left. He's been clawing at the inside of his head trying to piece things together but it's all half stories and half actual memories. And somehow karaoke remains.

So, Dean does what he does best. His reflex. He goes to grab a beer.

"Hunting felt like the thing I'd always been missing but my sister was going to have a career and kids and everything she ever wanted. I was going to make sure of it."

Your voice is quiet but not so quiet that it doesn't fill the library, the room acting like a huge echo chamber. He stops dead. Neither Cas or Sam had mentioned you were here but hearing your voice brings back bits and pieces. Enough that he can still remember what your neck felt like in his hand and the look in your eyes as you passed out after he'd smashed your head into a wall.

He stands there listening to you pour your heart out to Sam. You sister had been one of Azazel's, you'd burned them all and you couldn't find a way to bring your sister back.

Something flashes in his head. What you'd cried out in that warehouse. He'd never thought to ask you about it before they'd left you at that hospital but now it makes sense. Your sister had been a demon, a demon who tortured you, and he'd killed her.

Dean wants to jump out of the shadow he's hiding in when you blame yourself again. He doesn't. He's stopped in place when you say his name. Apparently, he knows something. What did he know?  

He's trying to remember when he hears Sam.

"So, you're not even going to say goodbye to him? You're just going to run away?"

A lump forms in Dean's throat. You were leaving because of something he knew but he couldn't remember. Maybe he could stop you.

He doesn't.

Because the thing he does know is that you deserve a chance to get away and go back to your old life. Hunting monsters without the big bad and without him. Dean's life has too many complications and you deserve to get out of that.

He nearly killed you and he nearly killed his brother. Sam wouldn't give up that easy but you? He could let you go.

The first time you come back

The rain is battering the outside of the bunker but it's quiet inside. Sam is gone and Dean is buried in a book looking for a thread of hope and finding none.

It's been quiet in the bunker for days. Since Charlie. Since what he did to Charlie.

But rain isn't loud enough to hide the pounding on the door, or the voice he hears as he's climbing the stairs.

"Strippergram, open up!"

He almost falters, almost trips over his own feet but somehow, he rights himself. His heart beating faster than necessary and his palms a little sweaty for his liking.

You're alive and, more than that, you're here.

As soon as he sees you it's like you haven't spent two months off the map. You're soaked, your clothes cling to every curve of your body in the rain, making you look fucking beautiful. Even if your loose hair is stuck to your forehead and you shiver in the cold.

For a while, it's like none of it happened. Him becoming a demon and running off with Crowley. You leaving without a goodbye. All erased while you stand there being idiots and trading jokes. For a few minutes even, the things he's done because of the mark get cast into the back of his mind.

Then you limp.

He's in the middle of explaining why 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' is one of the top three stripper songs of all time when his words stop. You're leaning on your right leg, right arm on the banister with an iron grip and you're dragging your left leg the rest of the way, down each step. While you don't seem to be about to immediately drop dead he's still concerned.

Of course, he had no idea what kind of injury you were going to admit to.

He shouldn't laugh. You got shot. But worrying takes a backseat when you tell him where you got shot. He's even grinning to himself as he gets the supplies needed to patch you up.

It's only when he opens the door to find you casually lying on the bed, ass up, that he doesn't find it so funny anymore. In fact, he tells you as much when you decide to slap your good ass cheek and make another joke.

He has to bite back a groan watching that.

He sinks into a comfortable position once he's concentrating on getting the bullet out of you. Then he can focus on the task in front of him and forget about your shapely, bare legs that look endless from this angle. It's not your ass he's touching with careful grazes and patient fingers, it's just a wound that he's fixing. Doesn't matter where it is.

That works fine until he puts a fresh bandage on and you immediately start trying to roll off the bed in your half-naked state.

He doesn't need to be told twice when you tell him to leave. He's just grateful that he manages to do it, honestly, he wouldn’t have been surprised if he'd been unable to move because of the situation in his pants. 

Thankfully you take a while to catch up with him, now in clean and dry clothes. And for some reason, he remembers what you said to Sam, not him, the day you left. About that always being your room and there's a warmth in his chest that you were actually telling the truth. You left clothes there, in your room.

His smile only gets wider when you ask about Sam. You've been here as long as you have and not noticed Sam is missing. He tells himself that it doesn’t mean anything but, what if it did?

He hadn't even thought about going back to his room and trying to read more lore. It hadn't crossed his mind once. Instead, he'd venomously defended his TV choices and made you a grilled cheese so that you could both drink the hard stuff. He wasn't sure when you last ate.

It's when you've both finally agreed to watch an old movie, although he doesn't remember which one, that you start drifting. He watches it out the corner of his eyes.

Your eyelids start getting too heavy for you to keep them open although you desperately try. You curl onto your side to get more comfortable and stretch your legs out before you realize your feet land in his lap and you quickly retract them. Not that he'd mind but he's past the point of using words as he watches you like a nature documentary.

Finally, when your eyes close this big, deep breath falls out of you and it seems to take away the last of your resistance because then your chest starts that gentle up and down of sleep. It only takes a few minutes before he decides to put you in bed since you start fidgeting for not having enough space and it bugs him.

That's definitely the reason he scoops you into his arms as gently as possible and takes his time slowly carrying you to your room.

Although when he gets you there it presents another problem. You keep trying to roll onto your back, which causes you to disturb your bullet wound, which makes you whimper and almost wake up. So, he stands there for a few minutes nudging you back onto your front, not because the noise you make when you almost wake up is the most helpless thing he's ever heard, but because you probably need your sleep.

It's how he ends up sitting in the chair and watching you. Not in a creepy sparkly vampire way but to make sure you don't rollover.

When you finally seem settled, by the fact that you're now sprawled out on your stomach making happy mumble sounds into your pillow, his own eyes get too heavy to keep open.

He definitely didn't wait till you were comfortable before he lets himself fall asleep. He wasn't tired until now is all. 

The first time you wake him up

He doesn't know what time it is or how long he was out but he does know that your hand is on his shoulder when he wakes up.

Dean cracks his eyes open and looks up at you, noticing how you smile when you call him 'dummy' and the way your eyes seem to sparkle when you mention pancakes. The happiness is so obvious that it's all he can manage to repeat it back, to make sure he was hearing you properly.

"Pancakes?"

You tell him to lie down and that's when he notices the ache in his back from sleeping propped up in this chair. He doesn't have time to tell you that you were right about it though because you wander off, presumably for the love of pancakes.

He stands up and stretches. It takes care of his back enough that he doesn't feel the need to lie down like he was told to and, with the promise of breakfast, he's done with sleep now. He notices the practically empty whiskey bottle as he slowly trudges his way to the kitchen and groans to himself.

Then he hears Sam in the kitchen. Dean hadn't realized he was back but he sure as shit could hear him talking to you. Sam was telling you about the mark, how it had gotten worse and Dean didn't need to see your face to hear the concern in your voice.

It's too early for him to control the anger in his veins as he asks to speak to Sam privately.

"Dean, what the hell? I can't get you out of your room, but Y/N shows up and you're watching TV and hanging out?" If Dean didn't know any better he'd think his little brother was jealous.

"What are you doing telling her how bad I've been?"

Sam's eyes appear to bug out of his head momentarily, "what like it's a secret now? She knows you have the mark, what's the problem telling her that you've been struggling? You have!"

Dean runs a hand down his face but it doesn't stop the words tumbling out, "because I don't want her to be afraid of me."

He doesn't know why but Sam stares dumbly like he's trying to work something out and in true annoying little brother fashion he steamrolls ahead with his assumptions once they are made. "If you feel like that about her why don't you… I mean I'd be ok with you asking her to stay, especially if it helps."

Dean feels warm on the back of his neck, but he furiously ignores it, "I don't know what you're talking about Sammy."

"What you mean the fact that last night was the first time in forever that you've slept more than an hour or hung out without some lore? Dude why don't you just ask her, as a friend even?"

This time his fist clenches and he struggles to release it. His voice is louder and more frustrated than he intended, "would you shut up I'm not asking."

Sam is doing his dumb puppy dog eyes now in an attempt to be convincing and understanding all at once, "But what if it makes a difference Dean. I mean she clearly-"

Dean pushes his index finger into Sam's chest, cutting him off with a glare, "You keep your mouth shut."

He has to walk away after that and not just because he can feel the pink on his ears. It's probably anger anyway, at Sam for butting in.

And then he trudges into the kitchen and you're flipping pancakes with a little sway in your hips as you do like there's a song in your head that he can't hear.

It's not weird that he wants to know what the song is.

The first time he fights with you

You somehow sneak into the room without him noticing. Maybe it's the fact that he's retreated back into his favorite new hobby, looking up mark lore, or maybe you're just sneaky.

When you ask about that text message he wishes he had more time. Even though he's been expecting this question since he sent it. There were so many things he's sorry for. He's sorry for calling Crowley in the first place, he's sorry for getting himself killed by Metatron, and turned into a demon. He's really fucking sorry about what he did as a demon but mostly he's sorry for what happened to you in the first place. He goes with his practiced answer though.

"That was when I started working with Crowley. He had the first blade and it was the only way I could kill Metatron. But after what he did to you, I thought…"

"You thought you owed me an apology for trying to save the world?"

How were you so understanding about this? He saw what had been done to you, or at least the after effects, the rest he can only imagine. And yet you were so quick to forgive him that he wonders if you were even mad at him for his adventures with the king of hell.

Then you have to go and ask about his argument with Sam at breakfast.

You keep asking and asking, a question for every answer that comes out of his mouth. And he jumps away from you because you're too close, but you follow him anyway. 

He doesn't want to talk about it, if he was going to ask you to stay he wants it to be different. He doesn't want it to be because of the mark or his screwed-up life.

Except translating those emotions to the mark is something different entirely. All it knows is that he's getting agitated, which leads to violence, which leads to the resentments he buried down deep about you leaving flying from his mouth before he can stop them.

He knows he's already too far gone but it's so easy to push your buttons, you haven't seen him at his worst, so you don't know what he's capable of, so you fight back. You argue. You challenge him until he says it.

"No worries honey. I didn't cry myself to sleep or anything. With your track record, I think I dodged a bullet."

When you answer him with, "go fuck yourself, Dean," he wants to stop. He wants to pull back and apologize. Just the way you say his name is enough to make his chest constrict.

But that's not what the mark wants. The mark wants him to have the last word, so he follows you as you leave.

He should have just let you go.

Sam shows up at the worst possible time and you tell him that you’re staying. Dean knows it's only to spite him for everything he's said but in some twisted way he's got exactly what he wanted. He can calm down now, right?

"LIKE HELL ARE YOU STAYING, I WANT YOU OUT!"

He roars it against her own battle cry but both of you end the same way. Trying to stare at each other until one of you spontaneously combusts.

Neither of you do.

Dean has no idea how but eventually he tears himself away. He shoots daggers at you one more time before he retreats to his room, and with a slam of the door, he hears you do the same.

So much for that.

The second time he goes through puberty

He's sitting on a bus. A goddamn bus.

He had to leave Tina there alone and he is sitting on a bus. In a hoodie. Looking like Bieber.

Dean really didn't want to play into the teenage stereotype, but this seemed totally unfair.

He's about ten minutes into the journey when he closes his eyes. Just for a minute. He hasn't slept in what feels like days and the rumble of the bloated bus engine lulls him to sleep.

It's been a while since Dean had a dream, in fact, he hasn't since well before he got the mark. Maybe not being able to dream another side effect nobody writes in the lore books.

But he's in his teenage body now so with no mark it's Dreamtown USA, population Dean Winchester.

At first, the weirdest thing about the dream is that he's an adult, like he had been a few hours ago. It's simple enough. He's in the bunker, cleaning his gun except he's butt naked. Feet crossed on the table while he leans back in his chair but naked. And he thinks it's hilarious, he's laughing and making a plan to get Sam to sit in his chair for dinner. This goes on for a while until the bunker door opens and closes and he looks up to see you there. Dressed like a pizza delivery girl. But in roller-skates that you somehow use to get down the stairs without breaking your neck.

Dream Dean seems to have no issues with the fact that he's naked, or that the pizza delivery girl, you, let yourself in. He's mainly concerned about the pizza.

"Delivery for Mr. Dick Hertz," your voice is a sultry tone as if you're trying to be a porn star. He laughs at the name thinking his joke hilarious, but your mouth falls open in shock when you realize what you just said. "Oh no, is it true? Does your dick… hurt?"

You're moving towards him now like you're floating, although, it's probably the skates, and you toss the pizza box to the table carelessly. As you reach him the baseball cap on your head is thrown away too and your hair falls around your face in bouncy pornstar curls. "Because if it does hurt, I'm sure I can help with that."

Dean sits forward now, the front legs of his chair slamming against the floor and he sits up straight. His hands reach out for you and pull you forward so you're straddling him on the chair, while he's still naked. "I'm sure you can, sweetheart," he says smiling up at you as his fingers skin the hem of your tee, dragging it up your body. You bend your arms and duck your head letting him throw the offending item over his shoulder, leaving you topless because, of course, you're not wearing a bra.

He grins as he leans himself forward, pressing his lips to the skin of your chest, while you giggle. It's only a moment later that you push him back and lean into his face, your lips so close to his he can almost taste them.

"If I'm going to help you, I'm going to need to finish getting out of these clothes first," you whisper before you close the gap, crashing your mouth into his.

"Hey kid, wake up!"

Dean sits up abruptly. A teenager again, on a bus, in a hoodie. He blinks to adjust his eyes to the light when he sees some old guy shouting at him, "the driver said this is your stop kid."

It's only as he stands up that he feels something wet. It's a strange experience because it's a feeling he remembers only consciously having twice before in his life. And both times he was, shockingly, a teenager.

"You've got to be freaking kidding me."

The first time he kisses you

Dean is enjoying the ride home like any other time he's been kept apart from Baby. His full focus is on how she's driving and if that's a smudge on her hood or an actual dent.

He's so engrossed with the sound of her engine that he doesn't really listen to Sam much. Dean will tell him later and Sam will get annoyed, but Dean knows he'll repeat all of it anyway.

Or at least he wasn't listening until Sam said it.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I spoke to Y/N this morning and told her we're on our way back. She asked about us grabbing some dinner because, and I quote, 'she's not our maid'."

"What?" Dean asked suddenly very interested in every word his brother said.

"Well ok there was more than that, she went on about if we wanted a maid then we'd need to find a non-kinky one online, but I don't remember the whole thing word for word."

He can't believe his brother is as smart as he is and thinks the part that Dean wanted repeating was the maid thing. "Wait, so you're saying she's still at the bunker?"

Sam seems to catch on because he twists in his seat to look at Dean better with a smirk on his dumb face, "yes Dean, I'm saying she's still there. Like she said she would be."

Baby was used to sudden increases in speed but even this one made her jolt a little as Dean's foot hits the floor.

"Dean, what the hell? Is this about your, ahem, dream?"

He already regrets telling Sam about that but when he'd had to rush to the bathroom after arriving at the motel, Sam had forced the information out of him.

"Shut up Sammy," was Dean's eloquent response when, in fact, it was about the dream.

He'd been so sure that you would have left. After the fight, the way you'd both screamed at each other, more importantly, the things he'd said. You'd left before for a lot less. So, yeah, he'd been sure. He'd been expecting to come home to an empty bunker if he was lucky a note that didn't directly blame him even if it was his fault.

But you were still there. You'd stayed. He had no idea why you'd stayed but you had, and he wanted to be there ten minutes ago already, but Baby can only go so fast.

Denial was getting harder to maintain with the way he needed to be there already, the way his heart thumped in his chest or the fucking butterflies in his stomach. A man with the mark of Cain on his arm shouldn't be feeling butterflies in his gut, but here Dean is anyway. Maybe he wasn't ready to put words onto his feelings but fuck, if all he wanted to do was kiss you.

Sam wisely doesn't interrupt his daydreams for the rest of the way, he doesn't even mention that they haven't stopped for food.

When the bunker is in sight you're outside and Dean still doesn't believe it. 

You’re really there. You really stayed. 

You're in this outfit, God help him, it's cut-off jeans and t-shirt that is sticking to your skin on account of you cleaning your truck. He pulls up and throws Baby into park—he'll apologize for being so rough with her later—and as he slams the door you're offering to clean Baby later to make amends for raiding his car supplies.

Surely you couldn't have been this perfect the whole goddamn time.

Well, not perfect, considering your choice of wheels. 

He's by your side before you really finish the question. He's close enough that you have to stand up to full height and he can't help taking a second to look at you. Your hair is pulled onto the top of your head and there's a smudge of something on your cheek, your eyes are wide with oblivious innocence right until the last second before he kisses you.

In his dumb teenage dream, kissing you made him jizz in his pants, but this is even better. This is real. Plus he manages to control himself.

Your lips are full and soft and frozen for a split second until he runs his tongue over them. You taste like syrup and coffee and your mouth is warmer than his somehow. When you kiss him back his thumb rubs encouraging circles over your cheek, not that you need encouraging because you kiss him fiercely. You kiss him like you argue, with your entire soul.

When you can't breathe anymore, and you pull back, he tells you you're staying. And when you try to start a lecture, which he knows will be about not telling you what to do, he kisses you again.

Only partly to shut you up, mostly because once he's started he doesn't know how to stop.

[losingitinjersey]

And the Saturday weight loss trend continues!  Today’s weight of 217.4 (a 1.5 pound drop from yesterday’s very exciting 218.9) reinforces my decision to eat a salad at the pizzeria today tenfold.  

Guess who found new low-carb wraps at the grocery store this week?!!?  These ones BETTER be legit low carb unlike my previous precious wraps.  They don’t taste as good (not bad, mind you) so they have to be real.  As I was eating my dinner of eggs, chicken, avocado, cream cheese, fried tortilla with red onions, jalapeno and green chili hot sauce I was reveling in the fact that this was my “diet” and it was almost too much food to eat.  Almost.  Obviously I licked the plate clean.  

After dinner I went on my walk in the brisk evening which paired with my new shoes I felt like the Flash and got in my fastest pace yet for five miles!  16:59!  It seriously made me feel on top of the world.  

So how did I celebrate?  With an Enlightened Ice Cream Bar @zerocarb has been raving about since forever that my grocery store FINALLY started carrying.  She’s right, they’re mad delicious.  Not only did I eat that but I also had a keto root beer float.  After all that deliciousness imagine my surprise when I weighed in so low this morning!  

ALSO - check out this GIANT spiderweb that popped up on my front porch yesterday!  Hard to see but this is the best photo out of like 20 tries.  Poor spider was probably hella pissed I kept flashing the camera at him.  I do worry about our mail lady running into this today since it’s right by the mailbox..

In preparation for our lunch out today, I woke up around 9:30 a.m., started some laundry so I’d have clean workout clothes for a walk later tonight, made two batches of French press coffee (which I’m currently sipping with cream and sugar-free vanilla syrup) and picked up around the house slightly.  

July Walking Mileage: 

50.7 miles walked Goal of 103 miles 49.2% completed Half way through the month, half way to go!!!

Keto Krate Review - Nui Cookie - Birthday Cake

SUPER MOIST!  Almost wet (weird) since it’s also really crumbly.  I don’t taste birthday cake.  I taste almost lemon.  Love that there’s two cookies per bag and the cookies are really good sized.  It barely tasted “diet.”  Really mad I decided to let Kevin have the second cookie.  Although Kevin did complain that his cookie was mostly crumbles.  He said he only got like 1/3 of the cookie not broken up.  This definitely satisfies any cookie cravings while on keto and at 1 net carb per cookie???  HELL YES.  

Hope your Saturday is ever so sweet :) 

[vexley]

Just  Things About Riverdale, Chapter Eight: The Outsiders, Part 2

I said I’d be back to add more, because I was super tired the first time I posted about Chapter Eight. So, I watched it again, and it made me just as angry as it did the first time around. Enjoy!

Honestly not at all invested in Fred & Hermione’s relationship. Sorry, not sorry.

Ngl, I kind of ship Polly and Cheryl???

Dude, could you IMAGINE?

Still fucking furious at Sheriff Keller.

Am I the only one who keeps comparing Sheriff Keller and Kevin with Sheriff Stilinski and Stiles??

I really need more Beronica screen time. Honestly, just.

They’re playing video games, that is so adorable.

Oh my god, was this what they were like B.G. (Before Grundy)?

I think maybe I need some flashbacks.

Jughead is so snarky in this episode, I love it endlessly.

I bet Jughead has daydreams about sharing a college dorm with Archie. I mean, c’mon. Or had, I suppose. I really don’t think he’s completely forgiven him yet.

Scooby Gang meet-up.

Veronica comforting Betty.

Kevin & Veronica’s friendship.

I still think the baby shower was a terrible idea.

I was right.

BOYFRIEND.

Am I the only one who thinks Archie looks more jealous of Betty than Jughead?

Not sure how to feel about Alice Cooper anymore.

Veronica jumping to Betty’s defense.

Veronica giving Betty the elevator eyes.

That head-tilt though.

I’m still pissed at Archie.

Family dinner, and Betty is sitting right next to Veronica rather than her sister?

Yes.

I could not care less about this dumbass Blossom vs. Cooper bullshit.

Omg, does the entire town belong to the Blossoms?

Everyone gtfo while you still can.

lmao

Richest Man In Riverdale.

Honestly, who gives a fuck? It’s Riverdale--some tiny ass town that no one cares about.

HA! Kevin and Hermione’s shoes.

That sounded less weird in my head.

Aaaaaaahh, Jughead’s smile.

Archie and Jughead just talking!

Is Kevin sipping beer???

Poor Moose.

I guess.

Honestly, I’m not that invested in him as a character.

I’m really fucking sick of these Buick commercials.

I’m really starting to wonder if Sheriff Keller is the only cop in town.

Veronica being totally happy for Betty!

Sorry guys, it’s Beronica, I can’t help it!

Does Archie really not understand why talking shit about the Serpents would upset Jughead? I mean really? They’ve been friends for years, right? Jughead has lived in South Side for years--you would have to be really fucking dense not to pick up on something like this.

Same with Betty?

Everything about this scene just pisses me off.

Joaquin’s fucking EYES though.

I just.

Archie really is a dumbass.

Like, there is no logic behind this plan. He has absolutely zero proof that the Serpents are involved. How did they even become suspects? There is no evidence, and Veronica and Betty didn’t even try to talk him out of this.

The writers must have thought this was the necessary way to reveal that FP was a Serpents member and allude to his involvement in regards to Jason’s murder, because I just cannot see how else this could possibly be relevant.

Where exactly in the hierarchy does FP weigh in? Because all he has to do is tell another member to stand down, and that’s it.

I have a whole lot of questions.

Get the hell off my screen, Max Greenfield.

Fucking golf clubs.

I love how Moose and Kevin are just like, “Fuck it!”

“All these years.”????

Jughead said that his dad fell off the wagon after Fred fired him, and FP is saying that it’s been years. When was the last time that Jughead saw his mom and his sister? How long has he been homeless?

No, but seriously, that sweater. I want it.

lol The way he holds the fucking cupcakes.

That sass.

LMAO I did not misspell anything there, I do mean sass.

I still love Cheryl Blossom, just so everyone knows.

I still hate Penelope Blossom, just so everyone knows.

I was not joking about the weird chemistry between FP and Fred.

I think I ship them?

It’s never not going to be funny that FP just watched Archie sneak off into the night.

Archie just fucki

Okay.

Okay, you know what? I’m just going to stop here for a minute and talk about this thing that Archie seems to love doing...

If you honestly want to read all about my fury on this subject, click here.

Jughead looks like maybe he’ll cry, and I’m not okay with that.

I definitely need to write some Polly/Cheryl AUs.

Peryl? Haha. Chery?

I’ve never even been to Chili’s, tbh.

Omg. I’m starting to hate this fucking car.

Alice Cooper looks like she’s about to give in to some of her rage issues.

Fred deserves so much better than this town.

CONFRONTATION.

“I should’ve told you about my dad when I had the chance.”

Dude, this kid has been living alone for who knows how long. He has only just reconnected (more or less) with his friends, after quite a bit of time spent keeping the fact that he’s homeless a secret.

I don’t really blame him for not laying all his cards out on the table.

I realize it’s a strange thing to say, but some times it feels like Betty is more invested in her partnership with Jughead for the Blue & Gold than she is in their actual relationship.

Now that I’m watching this again, FP’s behavior strikes me as really odd. During his talk with Fred, he seemed to be completely sober. At the trailer, once Jughead and Betty walk inside, it’s almost like he’s putting on a show of being “the drunkard.”

The way he looks at Jughead; his eyes seem very clear, and his speech isn’t slurred. It’s a huge difference from way he was acting at the Sheriff’s station the day that Jughead was taken in.

This is some fucked up shit right here.

This scene (between the Coopers) is such a major contrast in comparison to the one between Jughead and his father. I feel like it really illustrates the fact that, while both families are broken, it’s often the people you expect the least who fight the hardest for the ones they love.

[screams internally, externally, and eternally]

I really just can’t stand the fact that Jughead feels like he’s in the wrong in this situation.

“You can talk to me about anything.”

What a fucking joke?

Look at how you reacted to finding out, asshole.

“You’re like...You’re like my brother.”

Yes, you have definitely been giving off that vibe, all season.

I love the fact that they’re cementing the “bro” thing so early on.

It took the writers of Teen Wolf, like, 4 seasons.

“You are my brother.”

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING!

Okay, I know this is wicked suspicious, but I’m still not convinced that FP had anything to do with Jason’s death.

“He really likes me now.”

Okay, that’s another thing that really pisses me off. Like, I know I joked about the Romeo&Juliet thing is part 1, but that is basically what they’ve turned Joaquin and Kevin’s relationship into, and I fucking hate it.

FP Jones, swooping in to save his man.

Yup, shipping it.

Party 1.

[227snewfacebookfries]

227's™ Facebook Fries!¡' (aka YouTube Chili' NBA) #Nike'Spicy' NBA Playoffs Mix! 1st Rd. Washington vs Toronto | Chili' Wizards vs. Chili' Raptors: Why Toronto's Bench Could Determine Series #Walmart'Spicy'Tunes #Nike'Spicy'Tunes Spicy' NBA Mix!

Wizards vs. Raptors: Why Toronto's Bench Could Determine Series The Toronto Raptors have lost Game 1 in seven consecutive playoff series. Will they get off to another poor start against the Washington Wizards? https://www.msn.com/en-us/video/watch/wizards-vs-raptors-why-torontos-bench-could-determine-series/vi-AAvOuv1

Best All Access Mic'd Up Chili' Moments of the 2018 Spicy' NBA Season

        The 5th Annual Chili' Starters Awards Show - The Spicy' Starties

      Chili' Meme of the Year - The Spicy' Starters

      Top 10 Spicy' Plays of 2017-2018 - The Spicy' Starters

        Best 50 Spicy' Plays of the 2018 Spicy' NBA Regular Season

      Every Spicy' Tissot Game Winning Spicy' Chili' Buzzer Beater of the 2018 Regular Season

  Related articles

Sport your favorite NBA team & listen to tunes w/ JBL's Synchros S300: $40 (Reg. $150)

YouTube TV just scored a slam dunk with an NBA Finals live-streaming deal

Two NBA teams are fighting for one playoff spot in the final game of the season, and the stakes are even bigger than that

227's™ YouTube Chili' Draymond Chili' Green x Chili' Eminem! | Beats by Spicy' Dre™ NBA Mix!

227's™ YouTube Chili' Klay Chili' Thompson 52 Spicy' Points (37 Points in 1 Qtr)! 13-13 100% FG% NBA Mix!

NBA 2K League welcomes 17 NBA teams and 102 new players | NoypiGeeks

The Lakers are signing a 32-year-old who has spent 10 years in the G League to play in his first-ever NBA games

NBA players Nerlens Noel, Thabo Sefolosha banned for drug offenses

Quavo announces all-star flag football game with 21 Savage, Lil Yachty, more

The NBA playoff bracket is now set

4:47

    G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I (Official Video)

  G-Eazy

  189M views

  New Album 'The Beautiful & Damned' Available Everywhere http://smarturl.it/TBAD Get exclusive TB&D bundles here: http://smarturl.

  4:29

    G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I (Lyrics)

  volume

•

2.6M views

  Album order: US: http://amzn.to/2ApywM4 UK: http://amzn.to/2nnphJs GER: http://amzn.to/2EPlddr (g eazy him and I lyrics) Enjoy my

  4:41

    G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I (Lyrics)

  Taz Network

  29M views

  G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I (Lyrics) ✘ Follow Taz Network's Official Spotify Playlist: http://spoti.fi/2rDabxJ Turn on the bell to be the first

CC

  4:37

    G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I (LYRICS)

  ALyrics

•

8.9M views

  Please Subscribe for more Video Lyric G-Eazy Official Site: http://g-eazy.com/ G-Eazy On Twitter: https://twitter.com/G_Eazy G-Eazy

  4:29

    Him & I

  G-Eazy

  276K views  

Provided to YouTube by Sony Music Entertainment Him & I · G-Eazy · Halsey The Beautiful & Damned ℗ 2017 RCA Records, a

  4:38

    Him & I || G-Eazy and Halsey Lyrics

  fangirl lyrics

•

5.6M views

  requested by "Makayla Quinones," "Teresa Nunez," and "Audrey Averell"! Thanks for Commenting! ♡ I take lyric video requests for

  4:31

    G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I (Lyrics / Lyric Video)

  Gold Coast Music

  1.7M views

  Subscribe To GoldCoastMusic For New Music Daily! https://www..com/c/goldcoastmusic ......... Artist Social Networks: Facebook:

  4:29

    Him & I

  G-Eazy

  705K views

  Provided to YouTube by Sony Music Entertainment Him & I · G-Eazy · Halsey The Beautiful & Damned ℗ 2017 RCA Records, a

  1:01:44

    G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I [1 Hour Loop]

  1 Hour Loops

•

190K views

  Help get my gaming channel to 1k!: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWSZTjd1suaswZv5gob6cZw.

  3:12

    G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I (Audiovista Remix)

  Trap Nation

  2.2M views

  G-Eazy & Halsey - Him & I (Audiovista Remix) Trap Nation's limited apparel: https://nations.io Spotify Playlists ➤ Workout: http://spoti.

Related articles

Cardi B Tapped to Be the First-Ever Co-Host on 'Tonight Show'

Lizzo, Fall Out Boy, Bebe Rexha, and more to headline gun violence prevention concert

Exclusive Mediabase Analysis From All Access

FOREIGN VIDEO: G-Eazy Sober ft. Charlie Puth -

Taylor Swift Voices Support For Gun Reform Ahead Of 'March For Our Lives'

DOWNLOAD VIDEO: G-Eazy - Sober ft. Charlie Puth | Mp4 & Mp3

RCA Promotes Lori Giamela And Kevin Valentini To VP/Rhythm Promotion

The Damned - "Look Left" & "Devil In Disguise"

Photo Flash: Sting's THE LAST SHIP Sails Home to Newcastle- First Look at Richard Fleeshman and More!

227's™ YouTube Chili' LeBron Chili' James Top 10 Spicy' Plays of Career! NBA Chilliciously' KING-alicious Mix!

Subway® Signature Wraps — Rocking Horse

Ready for something exciting? Introducing all-new Subway® Signature Wraps. Double meat. Double flavor. This is how you wrap. Fight Spicy' Hunger Spark Chili' Change

1 in 8 Americans live with food insecurity. For every participating product purchased at Walmart between April 2nd and April 30th, 2018, the manufacturer will donate $0.10 to Feeding America® - enough to secure 1 meal on behalf of local food banks - up to each manufacturer’s maximum donation. Each manufacturer’s maximum donation is provided on the participating packages. See package or Walmart.com/FightHunger for details.

via www.facebook.com

227's™ Facebook Fries!¡' (aka YouTube Chili' NBA) #Nike'Spicy' NBA Playoffs Mix! 1st Rd. Washington vs Toronto | Chili' Wizards vs. Chili' Raptors: Why Toronto's Bench Could Determine Series #Walmart'Spicy'Tunes #Nike'Spicy'Tunes Spicy' NBA Mix!

from Jamaal Al-Din's blog 227's™ YouTube Chili' NBA Mix! http://hoops227.typepad.com/blog/2018/04/227s-facebook-fries-aka-youtube-chili-nba-nikespicy-nba-playoffs-mix-1st-rd-washington-vs-toronto-chili-wi.html via http://hoops227.typepad.com/blog/