#post-trk

[mooniism]

i think about this everyday btw

[bigtittygothgirlandrew]

Nora: please don’t ask me when book 3 will come out

Us: BOOK 3?

[elodiesmoreau]

'average collegiate athlete has 2 traumatic incidents per year' factoid actually just statistical error. neil josten who is the son of a yakuza hitman and endures 10000 traumatic events per year is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[mini-minish]

🦊 Andrew Minyard Animatic. an andrewmatic if u will. heed warnings yo

Characters from the All for the game series by @korakos 🦊

[joanofexys]

Thinking about the Minyard twins and how for each other they'd do it all over again. That Andrew would always rather someone's hands be on him than ever touch Aaron. That Aaron, covered in blood that wasn't his, risking his whole future, would bring down that racquet a thousand more times because it was for Andrew. Aaron who wants to help people and Andrew who wants to help Aaron. They're brothers, they're strangers, there are things they'll never be able to understand about each other, and things only the two of them can comprehend. Andrew would get in that car every time even if it meant he died. Aaron would always reach out to Andrew when he found out about him, even knowing how much it would hurt. The amount of times Andrew saved Aaron's life so Aaron has a chance to save lives. They spend so long clinging onto hollow promises and feelings of betrayal. Unsure how to say “you’re my brother, of course I love you” through anything other than “I’d do it again”. They’re two of the people who never gave up on each other even when everyone else had, even when they’ve still been strangers longer than they’ve been siblings.

[ugly-punkling]

and what if i reminded you that little ten year old gansey didnt want to go back to the party after being stung because he didnt want to ruin the party for anyone coming back covered in wasps? what if i reminded you he fucking accepted his fate at ten and he knew it was happening. what if i reminded you that he had flashbacks regularly for years and years and years and still gets minor reminders of that death? what if i reminded you of noah blowing on his ear and saying "nothing there" when noah is the one that died with him but stayed dead? what if i reminded you-

[leroiestmortvivelareine]

masterlist of aftg essays

mostly so I can find them - but you may as well have this too

Other Masterlists

Why aftg is well written by @feelingthedisaster

(the OG - symbolism, structure, and other examples of Nora's brilliance)

Numbers in aftg

(includes timelines for aftg events)

Plot insights

Parallels / exy positions by @atticusfinchismydog - also in the masterlist above but deserves special mention

Andrew’s protection was not physical by @awildtei

Andrew agreeing to go to the Hemmicks by @afurtivecake

The effect of cults by @cultpastorkevin

Why steal Wymack's painkillers by @i-did

Why Kevin needed to keep his distance by @cowbilover

What was Mary's plan by @your-local-mixed-race-bisexual

Fun lists

Jean’s awesome descriptions of everyone by @swampthingking

Unsung heroes of aftg by @problemduetest4life

Character insights *

(* many more are in the Masterlists at the top, this is for posts that don't fit otherwise)

Nathaniel / Neil - flip a coin by @neilljcsten

Neil as an uncanny creature by @sncwbaz

Andrew wanting to be known by @foxholecore

Andrew really nailed by @afurtivecake

Andrew and Kevin by @afurtivecake

Andrew and Roland by @afurtivecake

Andrew cursing Nicky by @afurtivecake (technically a fic but too perfect not to include)

Andrew and losing control by @palmettoshenanigans

Andrew and breaking the cycle by @palmettoshenanigans

Andrew's promise to Kevin by @coldsaturn

Kevin as the sun by @adaysgrace

Kevin as a bitch by @thatsnotevenmyname

Kevin as a temptation but never a connection by @jeanmoreaue and @afurtivecake

Kevin and Wymack by @fairvstairs

Kevin learning to live in the light by @odetojupiter

Understanding Aaron by @minyard-05

Aaron's need to feel normal by @interstellar-productions

Aaron and Andrew by @figuringthengsout

more Aaron and Andrew by @allforthegaymes

Neil through Aaron's eyes by @bloodfiresandabram

Dan as captain by @minyard-05

Riko hmm I wrote an essay on Riko

Nora's ec

The extra content (master link provided by @peggyrose19)

The ec link

on tumblr

Nora's now-deleted kandreil scenes (fyi scene breaks show as ".....")

How the fandom started and grew - by @coldsaturn

For writers generally

(because we all are, aren't we)

not aftg, but a list of most interesting essays

what emotion do you create from (quiz). I can send you the text of all 15 answers, if you're like me and want to see it all

Feel free to share others that you know of.

I'll keep a running list of anything else i think of in the reblog.

---

Update - Part 2

[you-know-i-get-itt]

is there a raven equivalent of the vixens? if yes, are they like the ravens 2.0? do they chant ominously alongside the drummers as part of raven fight song?

[friendofcars]

in an ideal tv adaptation of trc there is an absurd number of shots framed like pertinent tarot cards. calla upside down on the aerial silks hanged man pose. adam gets a meticulously framed but ultimately subtle magician card moment at fox way of course. and adam two/eight of swords with the blindfold. the gray man sleeping in tdt chapter 11 with the right number of vertically oriented objects behind him simulating knives in his back for the ten of swords. multiple iterations of the lovers. blue as the page of cups with her apple juice or yogurt cup. put gansey on a horse (metaphorical or otherwise) for death. idk!!!

[i-think-too-loud]

can you imagine falling so hard for a brunette guy with gorgeous blue eyes who actually respects your boundaries, and then you come back from rehab and realize he’s fucking ginger? and super jumpy and distrusting now but he’s fucking GINGER

[little2nerdy]

saw this post by @moonsnqil and had to write something, disclaimer:  i wrote this while sitting through a sexology lecture so take the quality with a grain of salt.

----

Neil was exhausted. 

He had been tired before. On the run with his mother, during his 16-hour days at Evermore, when he was recovering from his stint in Baltimore, after a game, during finals season. Being tired wasn’t new. But this was different.

The exhaustion. The heaviness in his limbs and the fog in his brain. For someone who had the requirement of constant awareness beat into him, he had been increasingly unable to keep himself tuned into what was going on, and the motivation to care about his surroundings was lacking. 

After months of throwing himself into practices, developing new drills with Kevin at night practices, co-captain responsibilities, runs every morning, and socializing with the upperclassmen, he was becoming keenly aware of how tired even the little things were making him. He was slowing down.

His usually easy homework took days instead of hours, he was bumping into people in hallways, leaving movie nights with the team to go to bed early, the walks from the math building to Fox Tower took ten minutes longer than they ever had.

At first he thought he was getting sick. He’d gone to Abby and told her she'd listened to him list his symptoms, her lips turning down in the corners, as she looked at him with not unfamiliar concern for his well-being. But she’d taken his temperature and asked him the standard questions and sent him to the student health center for a round of uncomfortable swabs to test for common campus plagues. But he was fine, medically, so he kept going. For a while, at least.

Except those little things turned into bigger things. He was missing drills and tripping over his own feet at practice, he was sleeping through his alarms, nodding off in crowded classrooms, not having the energy for runs in the morning, wishing they didn't have a game on a Friday night. Which turned into skipping his morning class. Skipping lift. Then skipping his afternoon classes. Skipping practice. And night practice.

The fatigue was consuming, eating him from the inside out, scooping out everything he’d ever known and filling it with concrete, weighing down his limbs, locking words and actions out of his reach. And for the first time in his life, he didn’t know how to get through to tomorrow. There was nothing to run from or run to, there was only him right now and cavernous freedom that he stood at the edge of, and fleetingly he thought that was the most frightening thing he had ever faced. 

----

Andrew had seen it coming. He saw the shift in Neil after the deal with the Moriayama’s had been made. Neil had been on the run his entire life. He’d been expecting to die. To have the possibility of a long, relatively safe, life laid out in front of him was something he’d never even contemplated. He had watched as Neil threw himself into anything and everything after the season ended.

He noticed the multiple runs a day, the calls with Dan about how they wanted to do things in the fall, the increase in obnoxious drill development talks between him and Kevin. He saw the effort he put in with the new recruits and the too much thought he put into his schedule. But he also saw the bags under Neil’s blue eyes, the napping without meaning to, the lack of quick reactions and spatial awareness on the court. 

“It's not uncommon,” Bee had said after he’d inadvertently spent the first fifteen minutes of his session giving her the lowdown on Neil’s declining state and his…concern… that a crash was imminent when she’d asked how the week had been. “Neil has been in a constant state of stress his entire life. But he was permitted to make a life for himself here among your team and as Neil Josten the person, not just a throwaway identity. His body can sense that shift. It’s trying to play catch up for years of trauma that he’s never had the time or space to deal with. Both mentally and physically.”

So when Neil didn’t move from bed Monday morning when his alarm went off, Andrew knew it was all coming to a head. He watched from his spot in the window as Neil lay in his bunk, unmoving, quiet except for hitching breaths that interrupted the shallow expansion of his lungs every few minutes. He watched as an hour passed. And then two. He stood to pull a hoodie and Neil’s favorite annoyingly orange sweats from their dresser, stacking them on the counter in the bathroom before he made his way to stand at the edge of Neil’s bed. 

“Neil.” He got no response except for a slight stilling of the sheets as Neil’s breath settled. “Get up. Go to the bathroom.” He watched as Neil very slowly rolled over, eyes squinted against the brightness of the window but made no further move to get up. Blue eyes tracked Andrew as he squatted so they were eye level. He reached a hand out and hovered it over Neil’s unruly curls. A scared hand appeared from under the blanket and brought Andrew’s fingers to his hair.

A few minutes of just breathing passed between them, Andrew’s fingers slowly untangling the rat’s nest that had formed on Neil’s head. “Neil.” He tugged at the strands in his fingers. Neil took a deep breath and pushed himself to sitting. Andrew held out both his hands and Neil took them so he could be pulled up. They stood mirroring each other, Neil leaning against the frame of the bunks, fatigue blanketing his frame.

“Go to the bathroom. Take a shower.” Neil nodded, moving towards the bathroom. As soon as the door closed and the shower turned on, Andrew stripped the bed and remade it. He went to the kitchen, he grabbed one of the stupid protein bars that Kevin had gotten Neil hooked on and filled Neil’s water bottle. He sat at the edge of the bed, waiting.

When Neil reappeared he somehow looked even more exhausted than he had before. Eyes empty of their usual spark, wet curls dampening the hood he’d pulled up like a protective barrier. Andrew pushed the opened bar into his hands and watched as Neil mechanically chewed his way through it, reaching for his water bottle when he was done.

Satisfied with the modicum of care he’d been allowed to push on Neil, he let him curl up under the sheets once more. Neil grabbed Andrew’s sleeve as he went to move away and tugged lightly. His eyes, on the verge of closing, flicked to the end of the bed.

Andrew nodded and Neil released his sleeve, letting Andrew slide onto the foot of the bed after grabbing his book, settling a hand on Neil’s ankle through the plush blanket Matt had gifted him. He watched as Neil’s breathing settled once more and he fell back into a stillness that Andrew had never seen from him, even in sleep. 

Hours later, when Kevin returned to the dorm, he stood in the doorway, staring for a few seconds before he opened his mouth to speak. 

“No.” Andrew’s voice was quiet but sharp. He stood from his spot at the end of the bed slowly, he knew the sleep that Neil was currently getting was the kind that shouldn’t be disturbed. He forced Kevin out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, pulling the door shut behind him. 

“He needs to come to practice. The season is starting to pick up and he can’t afford to sit out. He’s co-captain for Christ’s sake.”

“He needs this. Talk to Wymack and Winfield. They will agree with me.” Kevin glared at him before pulling out his phone and walking away. A few minutes later he came back, scowl firmly in place. 

“So?” The glare Kevin sent him was pathetic. 

“Abby says he should sit out for as long as he needs.” Andrew nodded, turning back to the bedroom, leaving a grumbling Kevin in his wake.

----

The dorm felt like a crypt, dark and eerily silent. Coaxing Neil out of bed for anything was a process, getting him to eat was harder. Neil hadn’t spoken a word, sleeping almost constantly, or just curled up staring unseeing at the wall. Despite the upperclassmen still being wary of Andrew, they all came to him to ask how they could help.

As much as Andrew was loath to admit, they all cared for Neil and he knew that he couldn’t deal with this completely alone. Abby and Wymack dealt with Neil's professors, Bee offered Andrew an outlet for his concerns and offered to speak with Neil when he finally made it through this stage, though that seemed unlikely to occur.

The upperclassmen, along with Andrew's group, worked out their schedules and took on Neil in shifts, appearing at the door when Andrew had class or an appointment with Bee or just needed a break. Neil was never alone. It settled something in Andrew that he didn't realize had been restless since Neil fell into this state of limbo. 

They all just sat sentinel keeping watch when he was asleep but when he was awake they all filled the heavy silence in their own unique ways. Allison came with stacks of fashion magazines from her merchandising class, circling things she would want to see Neil in and looking up tips for how to fix dye damage and take care of curls, a mission that she and Dan had been co-conspirators in since Neil let Allison cut his hair at the end of the season.

Matt came and sat silently with Neil, and besides Andrew was the most successful at getting him to take care of himself. Dan kept him updated on the team despite Neil's lack of response or input, and Kevin was a verbal flood of anything exy whenever he appeared in the dorms.

Renee kept the fridge stocked with fresh fruit and other foods she knew Neil liked. Even Aaron brought Neil’s notes from their shared science class. Nicky fell quickly into his parent mode that he'd been in when he'd first taken in Aaron and Andrew. Doing laundry and cleaning, but also making sure that even if Neil wouldn't respond, the silence was filled at least for a little bit. 

A week of rotating shifts passed as Neil's body tried to catch up on almost twenty years of missed sleep and repair his relationship with the concept of living past the age of 19. Thankfully, they were on a bye this week, no game, no travel. On Saturday evening, Andrew sat with his back against the wall working through another shitty mystery novel when Neil spoke for the first time.

He had been curled up around Andrew, hands grasping the hem of his pullover. Neil’s voice was rough from disuse and the tears that everyone had seen Neil shedding periodically but never addressed. It was so quiet that if Andrew hadn’t been painfully aware of Neil’s every move this week he would’ve missed it. 

“Thank you.”

[mooniism]

can we talk about this please

[bigtittygothgirlandrew]

I hope someone finds out like this

[tigtree]

She looked as uncertain as she did agonized, as if she wasn’t sure of her reception. She needn’t have worried because Aaron nearly pushed Nicky out of his way when he saw her.

As soon as he started for her, Katelyn ran down the hall to meet him and pulled him close. Aaron held onto her like she was the only thing keeping him upright and let her pull his face into her shoulder. Neil heard her voice, but not what she was saying. It was muffled where she’d pressed her face into Aaron’s neck and shirt. Aaron didn’t answer, but Katelyn didn’t let go.

can you tell i love these two or do i need to become even more insane about them (i’m going to become even more insane about them either way)

[thefoxholecast]

Recording the rest of Ch 4 tonight!

Hello and sorry for the late notice but we're going to try to record our episode about the second half of chapter 4 in a few hours!

Please send us all your thoughts about Neil finding Andrew and Kevin at the Foxhole Court at night and about Wymack's explanation of the Moriyamas' crime empire.

We are especially interested in hearing from Japanese and Japanese American fans about how Japanese characters are portrayed in these books.

[solisitude]

rip andrew minyard you would have loved post-war drarry and you would have hated jkr