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lucyandthepen · 11 months

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last eden - i . | lmh

part i, ii, iii

only one thing has ever mattered to you, in this lifetime, and in all others : mark lee — even if he doesn't know yet, and even if he may never remember.

pairing: mark x reader verse: canon/idol!verse, soulmates trope rating: T warnings: none, possibly some mild language, like... one very tame mention of making love ig word count: 4.3k

A/N: yeah i have a lot of these fics that i'm repurposing that i desperately want to post so i can continue them so please look the other way at my random over enthusiasm i beg !! my only long-standing mark fic is actually gorgeous, and while we do love a good raunchy piece, i love mark way too much to keep it to just that. this was my first ever fic on my old blog, and i'm quite attached to the idea despite the fact that it's actually very difficult for me to write. i changed the name because i actually love this song by maktub (anything he puts out is gold to me), which i think generally fits the vibe of the story, so give it a listen if you're interested! so i hope you all enjoy this idol!verse soulmates fic! (help a gal out by reblogging, liking, and leaving a few kind words if you're so inclined!)

“This isn’t really your best idea.”

You know this. You’re fully aware of the possible and endless risks as well as the minimal benefits. But you have to go. The thing that Heehyeon, your roommate, doesn’t fully understand is that this could be your one and only shot, and it could mean life or death. And you know that sounds pretty dramatic, but it really is. you don’t really have all the details (when, where, how, the important stuff) but that doesn’t matter to you right now.

What really matters is that today is NCT’s comeback stage at M! Countdown, and you have to be there.

Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those things you have to go to because your a die-hard fan and you just have to support the group and do all those fan chants and lie to your mom about going to the library when you’re really staying over outside a company building for hours just to wave those silly, expensive light sticks that look like they came out of the factory a bit funny. Sure, NCT’s music was nice (enough), but that isn’t really the reason why you told your mom not to come over this weekend because you would be out on a company team building retreat (as if they actually do that). More than anything, you knew you had to take this chance to see him.

When you don’t respond, Heehyeon presses on with a firmer tone, as if she’s determined to convince you even though you both know nothing is really going to stop you at this point.

“Listen to me, _____________. You are going to a tightly-packed music show with at least a hundred other fans, and you are going to stand in the middle of that dense crowd and — and what? Stare up at him. That’s it. He’s not going to see you; that stage is so high up he’ll probably only catch a look at your forehead, and that’s if you make it up front. And since we both know you’re neither the tallest nor the luckiest person in the world, you know the odds are against you. You’re probably going to get pushed to the back, or stampeded, and it’s going to be messy, and you’re going to push, and they’re going to push you back, and your make-up is going to fall apart, or whatever. Is this really worth it?”

“I told you,” you try to sound patient, but the idea of being buffeted away from the stage by a large wave of sweaty bodies causes more discomfort than you had originally anticipated thanks to her colorful and supremely unhelpful description. “If being near the stage doesn’t work out, I’ll wait out back, near the exit, and —“

“Oh yeah, and ambush him. Because you’ll be the only one there, and because that’s totally safe.” She drops the slightly (well, pretty) judgmental tone when she sees your bottom lip quiver. “I’m not… I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to reach out to him. But this doesn’t sound like the best way, _____________. Security is so tight there, and NCT’s security is even more wary. Even if you do manage to get close, what in the world are you going to say?”

“I— I’ll figure it out once I’m there.” You purse your lips; surely I love you; we’re meant to be together wouldn’t be that hard on your end, but the more important question is: did it sound sane? You didn’t express this doubt, though. Doing so would give your roommate more ammunition to turn back at you; you’d play it by ear when you actually got around to making eye contact with him (if that ever happened at all). And — well, maybe you wouldn’t have to say anything. Maybe, just maybe, this time, he’d remember you.

At that thought, you feel an initial wave of laughter, closely followed by a second, much more painful wave of nausea. Of all the absurd things you could think of, that was probably the most ridiculous.

“This isn’t a good idea,” she recapitulates, shaking her head. “You know what they do to people who stalk idols and say they’re really going to get married to them, or whatever. You know what they’d call you.”

“But I’m not crazy like that,” you argue.

“I know that, but they don’t know anything about you! You’d be labeled a sasaeng. They’ll probably think you’re one of those girls that sneak into their dorms and sniff their underwear before selling them on the dark side of Taobao through a weird Chinese proxy or something.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” You ball your fists at your side, feeling a little betrayed. Heehyeon, of all people, should be able to understand why you had to do this, even if it was ludicrous. She had remembered you, reached out to you before you could even place her. She’d heard your story, understood that you had been waiting years for this moment, even stopped you on other occasions when you were about to do the same thing you were planning now, saying it wasn’t the right time. “I don’t have any other way of contacting him. I don’t even know if this is going to work, but you know I have to try, and I feel like this is the right time. I have to see him. I have to — I have to be with him. I don’t need your blessing to go, you know.”

There’s a palpable tension hanging over you now, and Heehyeon’s expression has gone mostly unreadable, save for that twinge of worry still present in her gaze. The soft sound of regular, heavy exhales punctuate every few seconds that pass, and you realize a little later that it’s your breathing, which has turned a bit heavy from the energy spent sort-of yelling at your roommate.

“I know that,” she finally sighs. “I know that, _____________. I just wish you used a different way. Like, a safer, less crazy one.”

“I would use one if there were one.” You frown. “I’m not going to do anything stupid, like attack him. I would never do that.”

She doesn’t say much anymore, opting to watch you instead as you stuff a few more essential things in your bag. A hat. A fan. a bottle of water. Heehyeon had tried to coerce you to buy one of those cheering kits with those slogans, but you didn’t want to waste your money on it, and, truthfully, you didn’t want his name hanging on your walls like some sick reminder in case he rejected you.

“What did you tell your manager?” She asks in a clear attempt to lighten the mood.

“I told her I was sick. You know she never really asks as long as I find someone to substitute for me,” you sling your bag over your shoulder, standing straighter. “How do I look?”

“Pretty damn healthy,” she notes. “But also kind of crazy.”

“I’ll see you tonight, Heehyeon,” you roll your eyes as you make your way out of the room. Before you close the door, she makes one last quick remark.

“Not if I see you on the evening news first!”

You have to take two buses to get to Sangamsan-ro. Even though the traffic is generally mild, the buses make too many stops and wait too long for old ladies with their fruit baskets and newspapers to get on. The wait is making you anxious, and you think about getting an orange to abate your growing hunger, but you’re also so nervous that you’re sure you’re going to spew it all out onto the bus floor anyway. So, you content yourself with listening to music and fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

All you have in your phone is NCT’s music. The files were so large that you’d had to delete everything else you used to listen to and a handful of pictures too (mostly selfies that would have never seen the light of day, anyway) just to get them to fit. You used to only listen to the Korean versions, but you’d found all these little nuances in how Mark raps his lines depending on the language, so you’d started listening to the English and Japanese releases too, even though you can’t understand a lick of anything but ‘baby.’ Most of the time, you skip over to the relevant (see: Mark-filled) parts, already having memorized their timestamps to a kind of sick degree.

It was kind of dumb, and sort of selfish, but you had never really identified yourself as an NCT fan anyway. If you had been an active part of the groups following, people would have probably called you an akgae. You were really only concerned with one member, and it was that member’s voice that filled your ears when you’d plugged your earbuds in and put the volume up.

The first time you’d seen him was in your last year of college. One of your college friends had asked you to accompany them to a Nature Republic outlet downtown. Despite your general lack of interest in make-up at that point in time, you’d gone because she’d promised to buy you a corndog. What you’d gotten instead was a large standee of a handsome guy smiling at you and holding out a pot of aloe vera gel.

You knew his eyes. Even though his features changed a million times in your memory, you could never mistake his eyes for anyone else’s — soft, warm, brown eyes that you’d stared into for truly an eternity. His were eyes you could never forget, were never allowed to forget. You could remember the millions of times they’d smiled up at you in those past lives you were haunted with, twinkled with mischief and laughter in your presence, borne deep into yours on hot summer nights as you made love. Of all the uncertain things in all of the lives you remembered living, these eyes acted as your anchor.

You’d almost forgotten you were there with a friend until she’d called out to you, telling you to step inside the shop. Trying to sound disinterested despite the fact that your heart was pounding, you asked who the guy in the standee was. Mark, she’d called him. Mark of NCT. He was an idol, a rapper in one of those up and coming groups that was starting to gain a lot of attention within the general public because of their ‘cool, chic concepts.’ At that information, your heart had fallen into a pool of acid in your stomach.

Other times were hard, but not this hard. Most of the factors that had kept you or torn you apart were much larger in scale — war, famine, other natural disasters. This, out of all the other times, seemed to be the most difficult; he wasn’t an ordinary man anymore, but a god among men — a god you couldn’t be allowed to approach. You had ditched your friend the moment she’d gotten her change back at the counter, citing a sudden time of the month as the root cause, and dashed out and back to school, sparing only one last glance at the standee.

You’d been waiting for him for years, carefully looking for any sign of him in the people around you, but you had grown tired and had come to believe that maybe, in this life, you had been set free — that he didn’t exist, and the curse would be over. However, as you pored over each and every teaser, music video, advertisement, and blurry, noise-heavy radio interview you could find even a sliver of his face in, you realized that the curse had come back, and in a much larger force than you could ever imagine.

You’d stared at your desk for the longest time that day; the sun had dipped out of sight already when you’d sighed yourself out of your trance. It had never been this difficult. Having the Memory was mostly the worst thing ever, but its usual perk was that you could pick him out a little easier, and he was never too far away — nobody you ever knew in your first life ever was. They just kept coming up again and again, running around in little circles throughout time and space, and you recognized them in a way you’ve come to grow familiar with. It’s a tug, sort of like a tickle in your stomach, and you knew then that he was close by. The signal only stopped when you found him, and it usually wasn’t that hard. From there, you were responsible for weaving the same kind of story — one in which you would fall in love, be happy for a period of time, and then… well.

Heehyeon has the Memory, too. She’d remembered you from a previous life, too, and picked you out of a packed line at a coffee shop, striking up one of the most awkward conversations you’d ever had the displeasure of being a part of because she hadn’t been sure if you remembered her. It was only when she mentioned that you seemed like someone she could be good friends with and that you also seemed like you just happened to like your coffee black with two sugars did you realize that her sudden onslaught of friendliness was a sign she might be like you: unable to forget. She’d actually once asked you if you’d tried just letting him go, and you’d responded with a resolute no. At this point, it was too hard to call him a lost cause, even if he really seemed it. How could you stop loving someone you know you’ve loved for millennia?

He’s extremely handsome in this life, you’ve noted. Girls were falling all over him, which only made things ten times harder. A couple of years back, some rumors of him dating a labelmate had come up. Heehyeon had talked you through that long night of you clutching tissues in a fist and sobbing about how you didn’t want this anymore, how it was never fair, how every single time you had to find him was just growing more and more difficult until it seemed to reach an impossible arc. But, mostly, you’d cried because you hated the possibility — probably the confirmation — that he didn’t remember you at all.

You didn’t really expect him to, but you always hoped. Every life, you would approach him, and he would be a clean slate. It was a tiring process, one you wished you weren’t constantly responsible for. Some days, you resented him; how could he live his life carefree, without even the notion that you two were meant to be together? Most days, though, you just longed for him. Him, and a happy ending.

You let out a sigh as the track changes. His voice greets you again; over time, you’ve noticed it sounding even cooler, more impactful. He’s doing well for himself. And here you are, attempting to make yourself stand out in a pool of fans he probably can’t even see clearly. Nice.

You get to listen to about half of the newly released album before you realize you’re nearing your stop. Sidestepping a couple of baskets of oranges, you make it to the door and dash out. Heehyeon had drawn you a crude map to CJ E&M, and you’d been skeptical of it at first, but you realize now you would have gotten lost and missed the stage long before you got there if you had gone in blind. You’d make sure to thank her when you got back. If you did actually come back in one piece.

Heehyeon also hadn’t been joking; the line outside looks like it would fill a whole section of Jamsil. You’d heard of the dedication of some of these fans, but you’d never seen it like this, nor had you ever actually been a part of it. Kids were really up at three in the morning in support of NCT. Many of them are probably here specifically in support of Mark, you think. Sure enough, the people you line up behind are holding holographic slogans with the print “Mark-yah!” You swallow hard, trying not to regret your decision not to partake in that.

It feels like hours before you get even close to the door of the building. The chatter has died down a little, but not by much; even with less people ahead of you, the noise pollution increases in tandem with the excitement in the atmosphere. You’re not excited, though. You’re sick to your stomach, wishing you hadn’t come alone and wondering if you were going to regret this. Probably. Luckily, a couple of teenagers behind you strike up a casual conversation starting with “ah, it’s getting more humid now,” and you take turns complaining about what the weather would probably be like later on in the day before you start talking about NCT. They’re both Jaehyun fans, and you think about whether or not you remember meeting him in a past life. Nothing really rings a bell.

When you tell them you’re here for Mark, they giggle.

“We know,” they chime. “You’re wearing blue.”

“It’s his favorite color,” you say, a little defensively.

“Everyone knows that. Everyone here wearing that ocean blue is a Mark fan. Didn’t he say so once?” They dissolve into laughter again, but you say nothing. Maybe he had said that recently. Then again, his favorite color has always been blue — the color of the sky and the sea he seems to love so much.

The line grows shorter and shorter, and your ankles feel like they’re starting to swell. You’ve been standing for a good two hours now, and you regret not having bought one of those NCT membership cards that get you up to the front of the line. It’s really no surprise that you, the two Jaehyun fans, and the others in the line behind you are all squished in the back, just like Heehyeon had said you would be. It takes a good twenty minutes before the lights dim down and the stage lights start up, and you hear the buzz that increases in volume right before it becomes a collective deafening shriek from the crowd. The light sticks go up, and you’re momentarily blinded by the large stars that blink NCT in some weird logo form before you get your bearings again. By that time, the members have begun trooping onto the stage in a single file, and you forget your swollen ankles as you tiptoe and crane your head for a better view.

He’s there, your mind screams. He’s right there. You’ve got a whole crowd in front of you, but he’s right there.

The Jaehyun fans are losing their mind too; he’s talking, asking them how they found the album and encouraging them to keep supporting it. Typical idol stuff, you assume, but the fans go wild in an attempt to reassure him that they will. They all speak in a line, and you note Mark will be last. When the mic is handed over to him, the fans start screaming again. You feel like you want to yell as well, except you’re not sure if you’ll say something actually coherent that other people will hear. Instead, you tiptoe a little higher, fixing your pretty bad eyesight on his face and perking your ears up.

“You’re all here so early,” he starts. “How long have you been waiting for us?”

A flurry of numbers fly across the room. He smiles in this genuinely affectionate way even though his eyes can’t focus on a single person in the dark, and your heart stutters at the sight.

“Do your mothers know you’re here?” He’s teasing now. “You can’t tell them that NCT is the reason you’re not sleeping well, you know. Everyone, make sure that you eat breakfast and rest well before school today, okay?”

While the crowd screams in response, you let out a little whimper. It’s a weak, pathetic sound, but it essentially sums up how you feel, seeing him like this from so far away.

The pre-recording starts, but you barely catch anything. You’re too small for this kind of life, and you get so tired of tiptoeing that you actually do try to push your way through the crowd. Of course, this is fruitless, and you end up squatting by the back wall of the room, sipping on your water conservatively and listening to the Jaehyun fans do the chant religiously.

NCT performs the song two more times before they’re saying their goodbyes. You muster up the energy to stand again and make a beeline for the exit before everyone else can smash their way through. The sun is almost up now; beads of sweat form on the nape of your neck as you round the building, trying to find the indicated spot that Heehyeon had marked as the back exit of CJ E&M. You worry about how you’re in the wrong place for about ten minutes until you see the two Jaehyun fans turning the corner quickly, obviously with the same goal as you: to catch NCT as they leave the building.

In no time, the fans have gathered at the spot again, and it seems like they’ve multiplied tenfold; the chants are louder and there are girls with gigantic cameras trying to shove you away from the spot. Security from the company camps out in front of you, their gazes shifting from the door to the crowd and back again.

People around you roar the moment the doorknob turns. Nine of them file out, now in regular clothing, surrounded by their own security. You feel a surge of force behind you, trying to push forward, and someone’s camera lens hits you hard in the side of the face. You barely have time to cry out in surprise, caught in what would have been a scream of pain, when you see him.

In the growing light, Mark looks like a king. No — like a god, actually. Everything on his face shines even when minimal sunlight strikes it; his teeth help, too, brightening his face as his mouth hangs open in an easy laugh. He’s talking to Doyoung and has to face him, his sharp jawline being the first thing anyone can see from that perspective, and it’s that angle that creates all these alarms in your head.

For some reason, you’ve blocked out the noise around you. Even the pain from the camera lens attack isn’t bothering you as much anymore; you feel like you’re in an aquarium, and all the screams are on the other side of the glass. Your vision tunnels; all you can see is him.

You’d promised Heehyeon you wouldn’t do anything stupid. Again and again, she’d asked you and drilled you and reminded you that you weren’t supposed to do anything that would get you into trouble. Even with those promises you’d made, she’d still doubted you. Later, when you’d tell her this story, she’d roll her eyes and yell I told you so!, because, well, she did tell you. And, when you’d look at it in retrospect, you’d see that you should have listened.

Right now, though, you’re walking. Somehow, the camera lens that had attacked you had turned its gaze onto much more important targets; the guard stationed in front of you grunted in pain and reflexively retracted his hand after the lens made contact with it. It wasn’t a long movement, but it was enough for you to be pushed forward by the crowd. Enough to get your feet moving.

Other fans had stopped trying to break through; though many were still hysterical, most were trying to take pictures of the members as they climbed into the van. One by one, they were disappearing before your eyes. No, you thought to yourself. Your chest tightened. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you think that the noise behind you has gotten much louder. Not now. He hasn’t seen me yet. Not yet, please.

You don’t realize that your feet have picked up the pace, and you’ve broken into a short sprint before the building security could catch you. It’s too late; he can’t leave his post, and he only has to hope that NCT’s staff are well-equipped to fend off a running girl. They are, but they’re too busy helping the members that they’re caught unaware — just long enough for you to be within an arm’s reach of them.

Mark is almost in the van; he’s caught off-guard, too, and he doesn’t realize that something’s not right until you’re already there. Security grabs his arm and tries to tug him out of your reach and into the van at the same time that a strong hand grapples at the back of your shirt. Doyoung, who had been by Mark’s side, tries to use his arms to shield you from his friend when he realizes who you are targeting, yelling out something you can’t really understand.

It’s a ten-second long struggle of limbs in which you hear your own “Let go of me!” harmonize perfectly with Mark’s frantic “What the —?” Somehow, though, you’re able to fight through Doyoung’s arms and grip Mark’s wrist with a sweaty palm. The contact causes him to turn back reflexively, eyes wide in shock.

His eyes. God, please, won’t he recognize me? Your fingers close around his wrist a little more tightly. Your mouth is dry, and your throat is on fire. You’re wasting precious time. You only manage out a weak, “Please, Mark, it’s me,” before he’s twisting his wrist away. The arm that gripped your shirt moves to lock around your waist, and you’re hauled, empty-handed, away from the van. Awareness you’d lost slowly trickles back into you. The crowd isn’t screaming at the members now; they’re screaming at you. They’re angry. As you’re dragged away, you vaguely note that the Jaehyun fans you were with are fuming behind the security guards still keeping them in place.

The security guard that carried you off like a rag doll plants you in front of him, and he lets go of your waist but still keeps his grip tight around both your forearms, which have been twisted behind you. You have no choice but to watch from afar as the members drag Mark into the van, looks of concern etched across their faces. They ask him if he’s hurt, and he shakes his head. Right before the door closes, he quickly glances back at you. Your heart sinks for the second time today as you see something in his eyes you’d never seen before.

Fear. Mark is afraid of you.

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kadextra · 1 month

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so on a whim I started reading omniscient reader’s viewpoint manhwa

..and got hooked on the story so hard that I easily blasted through all available eps in less than a week. istg they put dr*gs in this thing it’s so good???? 😭

[SPOILER WARNING! big ramble ahead. if you’ve never read it, leave this post. consider checking it out you won’t be able to put it down]

lets get this out of the way first.

RAHHHHHH KIM DOKJA….. KIM DOKJA I LOVE YOU

GUYSSSSS 🥺 LISTEN. HE’S SUCH A GOOD PROTAGONIST. MY TRAUMA BOY. MY DUDE WITH THE POWER TO INFODUMP PEOPLE TO DEATH. YOU SELF-SACRIFICING IDIOT. his cunning intelligence makes him super attractive what can I say, I LOVE smart mcs with ambiguous morality and self sacrificial nature

here’s a big ✨shut your mouth✨ to every character who’s said he’s ugly- get your eyes checked, get a job get away from him (I know it’s because of the fourth wall’s filter it’s not their fault I’m just being silly)

the fourth wall is such a cool power to have. the complexity of how it acts based on his perception of fiction vs reality as the reader …. that’s very interesting and well thought out!!! how it lowkey has a consciousness too and it’s so tied into his mental state makes me want to psychoanalyze this guy even more. probably one of the most unique powers I’ve seen created and explored in a story tbh

I think the entire system of how the world works is really well done in general. constellations watching the apocalyptic bloodbath via livestream and sending donos to their favorite little guys shouldn’t work as well as it does and cracks me up so much 😭 (uriel is the best). I enjoy learning about all the irl different fables, history & mythologies too. plus doing my own research is fun! I did a deep dive through the web to learn about dokkaebi folklore lol I’m having a good time

I also related hard to how dokja read TWSA throughout his life, the story was a companion for him. got choked up bc I reflected on how much my own favorite companion stories for years mean to me. there’s been situations I’ve thought “what would (character) do?” dokja saying stuff like “what would joonghyuk do?” felt like I got called out <3 I’d probably be the same as him if my favorite characters suddenly came to life

anyways yeah I caught up with the manhwa looked online and discovered it comes from an already completed novel with over 500 chapters and the manhwa is barely a third into adapting it though it’s been releasing every week for 4 years. and that it’ll take like 10 more years to finish. I then planted my face in my hands and screamed with despair

I’ll shrivel up waiting to see what happens……………heyyy woahhhh.. whats this light of salvation ? the novel file just completed download on my phone ? that’s crazyy wow I opened it ? im scrolling it right now ? omg I’m telling myself in the mirror “pace yourself, try to space your reading out do NOT read too fast” ?

jokes aside im excited, first I’ll take some time to read back through the earlier chapters for extra context of scenes! >:D after I finish doing that…. pls pray for my self-control to try stretching this for as long as possible. I’m pumped to see what happens next with this demon king part so maybe I’ll read along with the manhwa unless I get too impatient heh

to conclude- I had no idea the fandom of orv was so passionate. while closing my eyes to spoilers, I was looking at beautiful fanart and animatics (watched this one and ascended that’s one of my fav rin songs). I can tell how much you guys love the story, there’s always going to be people like me who get interested so keep it up :D if the fandom does end up reading this, ummm *knocks on the door* hi im new

I will likely talk about it more in the future!! tagging under “#kade reads orv” ! might draw fanart on my art blog too bc brainworms <3 happy reading everyone

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kade reads

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writing-for-life · 9 days

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Tags, Glorious Tags

Some encouragement to follow and check them more consistently…

So I did a little experiment: Tags with under 1k followers don’t get their numbers shown on Tumblr. I put the Sandman characters through the search, and while there were no big surprises (if we think about the main fandom demographic), the numbers were still staggering.

I tried all sorts of different iterations, too, and included the higher/most frequently used ones:

Note to self: “Lucienne the librarian” is not a popular tag. Welp, I shall tag differently in the future.

Two outliers because people will also follow these for the Lucifer/Hellblazer series/comics, not The Sandman:

That’s it. All other characters have under 1,000 followers. I’ve also added the shipping tags to the bottom of this post. Read them and weep/laugh/whatever feels right.

Even if we take into consideration that the characters who already made an appearance in the series will get higher numbers than the ones that non-comic readers haven’t met yet (because let’s be honest: This is currently largely a TV-, not a comics fandom):

Where is Desire (I find that really surprising considering I constantly read how much people love Mason)?

Where is Despair?

Where is Calliope (she has a tag, but that’s in no way Sandman related. All Sandman ones are under 1k)?

Where is Johanna Constantine (also extremely surprising to me)?

Where is Rose Walker, who had a whole arc?

Where are Fiddler’s Green, Unity (both too old presenting, I get it, but it’s just driving the point home that it’s not about narrative importance but having the hots 🤣), Gault, Nada, to just name a few?

This has nothing to do with screen time allocated to characters, as should also be obvious. Even Matthew is more popular than other (mostly female) characters who drive the story, or are at least a big part of it.

It would be easy to say, “Well, these are just the favourites, nothing we can do about that.” And while that’s true, it’s also not quite as simple…

Fandom favourites vs checking the tags

As someone who runs a Sandman blog that tries to cover all characters (and of course I cover some more than others, so it’s definitely not about that) and isn’t too interested in shipping, I can see how the reblogs stack—they come through people’s mutuals, not through tags (bar the popular two or three).

But if we really love a character, we need to check and follow their tags consistently, and I can tell that’s often not the case but for said popular two or three. Posts for those tend to get default engagement because even people who don’t follow me check these tags, and they reblog straight from there (i.e. not through a third person). Other characters though? Only if someone with a relatively popular blog reblogs (and that hardly ever happens, and if it does, it’s usually for Death, Delirium and maybe Lucienne). It never happens straight through the tags.

Which also makes it somewhat worth thinking about that we, on the one hand, bemoan that no one cares about certain characters while at the same time heavily relying (maybe not even consciously) on mutuals who do check tags to feed that stuff into our dash (and we probably often don’t scroll down very far either). I see those little fandom bubbles very clearly because my blog is pretty broad (as in not ship-centric) and I notice, on the regular, who kicks off the chain for those underappreciated characters no one but them goes into the tags for (you’re doing the Lord’s work 🫂).

This is not about saying some characters should be more popular or others shouldn’t, because people like what they like, and that’s okay. Morpheus is and always will be my favourite, and apparently, I’m in good company 😉

But I also love other characters of narrative importance, and if we want to see their art, their fics, their metas, we need to follow and, above all, check their tags. Regularly. Because that stuff is there. Maybe not quite as plentiful, but the problem is also: If no one interacts with it, people just give up.

But we need to actively look for it ourselves, not just through our mutuals. We also need to think about reblogging more. Liking is great but doesn’t quite cut it for the characters we want to see more of. It’s not how Tumblr works.

And if you create, it’s also good to keep in mind that some people will occasionally say they like or even love those characters, but they factually don’t love them enough to follow their tags. There’s nothing wrong with that per se, but the pipeline maintains itself fairly effortlessly while left field stuff is definitely more and harder individual work. And I get that it can feel tiring at times (ask me how I know).

But long story short: Please don’t let it discourage you so it turns into a vicious cycle. Keep on checking the tags, because there are people who create for them. Don’t just like but also reblog. Keep on tagging your stuff so people who love other characters than the main two or three, and those who ship rare pairs, can find you. (Remember that only the first five tags show up in tracked tags and only the first 20 will show up in searches, and that reblogs show up in neither.) It’s hard to cut through the popular tags, but it becomes even harder if fewer and fewer people are trying.

Plus: If you check the character tags outright, you don’t have to wade through everything else. The Sandman doesn’t just consist of its main tag.

And because it’s actually quite funny, I’ll just let the shipping tags speak for themselves (I just picked a few of the most “popular” ones in their different iterations, because if the stats for more popular ships already look like this, we don’t even need to think about rare pairs):

Corintheus: <1k

Morphienne: <1k

Morphanna/ConstantDream: <1k

Dreamuse: <1k

DreamingStar: <1K

Hellmuse: <1k

Gaultienne: <1k

Dreamling:

Even compared to individual character tags, the only one outshining Dreamling is the good old Dream Lord himself. Plus the main Sandman tag (but only #the sandman, because #sandman comes in at a comparably paltry 9.9k). Any questions left as to why most people are here? 😉But again: There are others. Follow and check the tags.

#the sandman #sandman #dream of the endless #death of the endless #lucienne #rose walker #the corinthian #matthew the raven #lucienne the librarian #desire of the endless #johanna constantine #calliope sandman #Unity Kinkaid #fiddlers green #fandom thoughts #fandom meta #fandom stats #queue

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oraclekleo · 3 months

Text

Wanted: Brainstorming Buddies

Hello, my dear followers and occasional visitors to this blog.

Recently I have realised I would like to communicate more directly with people. My intention is to enlarge the little group of friends I talk to on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. I’m not a super sociable person but my interactions fall onto the shoulders of a few close friends and they kinda carry all the weight of my hectic brain functions. I love them and that’s why I would like to enlarge the list of my regular social contacts in order to spread the burden more evenly.

And naturally I thought of you guys, who are my support and sunshine for months and years here. So my first appeal is to be posted here. This is my plan A. I do have plans B, C, D, E, F, G and H but if it works out, I might not need to use them.

I have created a Discord group chat, which I would love to use to communicate directly with a larger group of friends. It’s not only tarot and astrology focused, I have many interests and I would like to share them all.

You can join the Discord by contacting me directly through DMs or my email [email protected].

Before you do, you should read the list below.

Why you SHOULDN’T join this group chat:

I’m an INTP MBTI type and it comes with some challenging characteristics. You can check the YouTube video 8 Weird Habits Of An INTP Personality Type for reference. I’m not always the worst case scenario of these but it gives a pretty good sum up.

I question EVERYTHING! Systems, rules, customs, traditions, beliefs… I’m not a religious person myself and if you present me with a problem with some rule, I will question the existence of the rule in the first place, I will probably bend it or find a loophole. I respect all beliefs but if you tell me that you have a problem with certain aspects of your belief, I will question why you stick to it. 😂 You can always tell me to move on and forget about the topic, though. I question my own opinions, rules and habits just the same so it’s not like I’m being unfair.

I’m not a shoulder to cry on or a hugging type, not even virtual hugs type. I’m a problem solver. If you share your worry or struggle or issue with me, you also have to add what reaction you want from me. If you don’t provide this information, I automatically switch to solving mode. You can tell me you just want to rant without me suggesting anything. You can tell me you want me to take your mind off the topic and cheer you up or entertain you or whatever. Just make sure you let me know what you want me to do with your issue because otherwise I will present you with one or more solutions. 😜

My mind is constantly open and I have a great respect towards diversity and freedom but I really don’t tolerate hate in any form. If you want to go for hateful rants or serious nasty complaints about people, this might not be the chat for you.

I like to keep the conversation flowing. If you are the type of person who prefers to only listen in and you are happy this way, not wanting to step outside the comfort zone, this is probably not the chat for you. If you are usually quiet but would like to start using your voice more, feel free to join, though. Effort counts with me.

I love dark sense of humour and sarcasm is my first language and I’m so fluent in it. If you are a very sensitive person, you might have a hard time with me. I’m not deliberately rude to anyone but I will test the waters and make brutal jokes now and then to observe the reactions.

I’m an adult person and I do include adult topics and language. If that’s something you feel uncomfortable about, you should avoid joining the chat.

I’m not a big fan of drama and overreacting. I can deal with occasional emotional load from my friends but if you are the type of person who truly goes nuts when it comes to emotions, you might find me cold and unfriendly.

I love to discuss a vast variety of topics and link them with each other and find patterns. It’s how my brain works. It can be confusing sometimes so you might need to bare with me.

Why you SHOULD join this group chat:

Because of me - there are not many people like me and you might actually discover some of my more intimate sides I don’t show on the blog

Because of yourself - you might want to start socialising a tiny bit more but you don’t have just one interest, you want to talk about anything and everything

Because of the fun - I have many negative sides to me but I’m not a dull or boring person and I will do my best to keep the chat alive and entertaining.

Because of the brainstorming - Are you a creative person yourself? You might need brainstorming buddies! I surely do need some. And when you brainstorm with me, I’m more than happy to return the favour and brainstorm with you.

Because by exploring and communicating our minds, hearts, souls and spirits grow and become more vibrant. This is your opportunity to take one small step towards personal growth.

Because you can leave anytime - if the chat isn’t your cup of tea, you can leave. My feelings won’t be harmed, I respect that each person is different and I don’t have many feelings to be hurt in the first place. 😜

If you have reached here with the reading, you might as well want to join the group chat. Feel free to contact me through DMs or email [email protected].

You surely understand that I don’t want to share the invitation link publicly as I would like to avoid trolls and spammers joining your little soul family.

I’m looking forward to your reactions and I’m gonna be delighted by your interest if there is any.

P.S. Brainstorming helps me to stay motivated so once I have my little circle of buddies, I’ll feel more eager to return to tarot readings and other fun activities for you. Just saying. No pressure! (Only I might feel motivated enough to open free readings and I mean all the readings, including fun tarot spreads like the Path of the Dragon and others 😉)

Thank you for reading this far.

Kleo 🦄

#oracle kleo #writer kleo #tarot #writing #adulting #intp female #group chat

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perfectlyvalid49 · 9 months

Text

Sometimes I feel like this blog is more Judaism focused than I really want it to be. Like, I am Jewish, but that’s only one aspect of my personality. I’m also interested in politics and linguistics and nerdy pop culture stuff and a whole bunch of other things. And I want this blog to have space for all of that.

So when I spent a ton of time late last week fighting with an antisemite, I told myself that when I was done with him (or as it turns out, when he was done with me), I’d take a break from posting about Jewish issues for a bit. Just like, a week where I’m just reblogging stuff that makes me laugh or an interesting language fact or something like that. Y’know, happy stuff.

He blocked me Friday, and on Saturday, Hamas attacked. And I’ve got a big mouth, so I can’t not say anything. Maybe when this is all resolved I can post happy stuff, but for right now, I need a place to talk, even though I’m struggling with what to say.

I guess the first thing I should say is that I feel terrible about what’s happening. Because what’s happened so far is bad, and what will happen next is even worse. Israel will take its vengeance; innocent Palestinians will die. The friends and families of the victims on both sides will be radicalized and the violence will continue. I hate it and it’s stupid and I wish there was an easy way to stop it and I know that there isn’t.

And I want to say that I support the Palestinian people. The way that Israel treats the Palestinians in Gaza is inhumane – it shouldn’t be allowed! But Israel treats them that way because before they did, you couldn’t get on a bus in Israel without worrying about being blown up. That shouldn’t be allowed either! Everything is complicated. Both sides are full of people who just want to live in peace who are being screwed over by a minority who won’t be happy until the other side is gone. Both sides have valid points, both sides have done terrible things. Anyone who is telling you that it isn’t complicated is either woefully uneducated about the history of the conflict, thinks one side does not deserve fundamental human rights, or both.

And after saying all that, I guess that I should make it clear that I’m still a Zionist – I believe that the Jewish people have the right to a self-determined state, and I think that Israel is probably the best place for it (I did not say a good place, I just don’t think there’s a better one. The best of a bunch of bad options is still the best). Having said that I’m a Zionist, I still hate what Israel’s government is doing and has been doing. Netanyahu is a monster. You can disagree with a country’s government and still think it has a right to exisit.

If you think that all Zionists are evil (and you’re still reading this), then tell me a better solution. Where should Jews go to be safe from governmental persecution? Or should they be denied that? If so, why?

And that’s the other thing I want to talk about. Every Jew I know is watching this with feelings of grief and horror, and the response from the left seems to be some variation on, “Israeli civilians deserved this,” “go back to where you came from,” or “terrorism is OK, actually, as long as it’s against a colonizer state (but not the one I live in).” And it’s soul-crushing. It is possible to be anti-Zionist without being antisemitic, but it seems like right now people aren’t even trying. The only good Jew is a dead Jew, and now that there are a bunch of dead Jews, everyone is celebrating.

I keep thinking about this video that I watched at school when I was a kid about the conflict. It was probably the mid 90s and the video showed Arab and Israeli kids playing together with a voice over from an interview with one of their moms. And I remember her saying that the kids playing together was good because then they would be friends, and when they got older they wouldn’t want to fight each other because they would remember that they were friends. I know now that it was probably a propaganda video, but that’s still what I want. I want leadership for Gaza that isn’t a terrorist organization, I want leadership for Israel that isn’t a far right authoritarian nightmare, I want Palestinians to not be locked behind a wall, I want Israelis who don’t have drills for when the rockets come. I want everyone – EVERYONE – to be able to live a life in peace and I want two little boys with different backgrounds and religions that both include a history in Israel to be able to play in a field by a river and be friends.

And if you don’t want that? Fuck you.

#israel #antisemitism #long post #i'm having feelings #thanks for letting me ramble #probably a lot more reblogs on this topic are incoming

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mifithemuffin · 10 months

Text

◆Satsuten 8th Anniversary Post Translation◆

Happy Satsuten 8th Anniversary!!

Sanada Makoto made a public post on her fanbox acc with a drawing of characters she doesn't draw together that often. This month it's Rachel and Eddie!

Below is my translation of their possible dialogue in a make-believe interaction scenario. It's mostly gags.

You can find the full blog post here

◆Rachel & Eddie Conversation: Start!◆

Eddie: Wow! A drawing of Rachel and me, what a nice surprise!

Say, Rachel, when was the last time we’ve talked to each other anyway?

Rachel: Probably during Episode.NG?

Eddie: Yeah, I think so too. Man, Episode.NG was such a disaster.

Didn’t you step on me and feed me some extremely spicy pizza back then?

Rachel: Oh, it wasn’t... intentional.

Eddie: Was it now?..

Rachel: I should apologize, shouldn’t I?..

Eddie: Ah! N-no, you don’t really have to!..

I’m actually alright despite all of that! Look, my arms are fine at least, my arms...

Rachel: If you say so.

Eddie: Uhm… Y-yeah…

Rachel: …

Eddie: …

...B-but you know, it’s so rare to have a chance to talk to you like that, I’m really happy!

Because even back when you first came to my floor we didn’t have a lot of time to chat.

Q1: What was your first impression of each other?

Rachel: Nothing outside of “a person who can kill me and lay my body to the ground” I suppose.

Eddie: What?! Is this really it?

Even though I did my best to properly confess my feelings to you!

Rachel: It was... a confession?..

Eddie: Of course! I was interested in you from the very beginning.

It’s not like we have a lot of girls my age coming to the building, you know!

Rachel: I see.

...Even so, why did you decide to confess to me? We haven’t met each other even once.

Eddie: Well, I’ve got plenty of reasons!

First of all, when I saw you burying that little bird on Zack’s floor, I couldn’t help but think: “We’d definitely get along!”

And then I heard your beautiful voice...

Rachel: A little bird… Don’t tell me you’ve been watching me?

Eddie: Yeah! One of the next floors was mine, so of course I had access to security cameras!

Rachel: ...For some reason it doesn’t sit right with me.

Eddie: Huh, why? Urm, s-sorry I guess?..

I don’t think it’s that strange of a behavior for a floor master though…

Q2: Did this impression change after?

Rachel: Yeah, to “green”.

Eddie: Green… Is it because of what I looked like during the trial?

Rachel, don’t you have anything else to say about me?

Rachel: ….

Eddie: ….Okay, nevermind. Just please stop giving me this blank stare.

As for me, I thought you were a little bit selfish.

You're also stubborn, don’t listen to what others tell you and only ever care about making things yours.

But in all honesty, I do get it. You and I are more alike than you think. To the point of maybe someday digging graves together, you know!

Rachel: Not that I wish to dig graves like you, though.

Eddie: Wait, what??

Rachel: So all of this time you thought I’m as passionate about grave digging as you are?..

Eddie: Because you tried your hardest to make a nice grave for the little birdie, I...

Rachel: Eddie… you’re terribly assumptious.

Eddie: But doesn't it make the two of us?! Say, doesn't it?

Rachel: ….

Eddie: Did you frown just now?.. It means this time I'm definitely right!

Rachel: ….

Eddie: Hey, no, don’t ignore me!

Say “yes” already!

Fin!

Sanada-sensei also said she's planning to draw Zack and Danny next month, so if you're interested in more unhinged interactions please consider subscribing to her fanbox!

#satsuriku no tenshi #angels of death #rachel gardner #edward mason #rpg horror #angels of slaughter #my translations #apologies for any spelling mistakes i'm running on 4 hours of sleep #feel free to point stuff out tho

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nobodysdaydreams · 2 months

Note

Hey! I just wanted to say I appreciate you Reblogging/posting more Christian content. I’m a Protestant, but I’ve never really seen Tumblr as a place where I can/should talk about faith and engage with other Christians. It’s been really nice, though, to see your Christian posts on my dash, and I might start doing some of my own.

Curio, this ask means the absolute world to me, and please know I would love any Christian posts you made! 🥰

As for seeing tumblr as a place where you "can" or “should/should not” talk about your faith, I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable and makes you happy.

The whole reason I got a tumblr was because I didn’t have a place in my life where I could talk about my hyper fixations and interests, so I do that here. The neurotypicals in my life found it hard to listen to my ramblings, and even when they did indulge me, they never really appreciated or understood why it made me so happy. It’s nice to have people who understand and appreciate what I'm talking about (and I’m so grateful to all of you for that).

The reason I started talking about Christianity on my blog is kinda similar: I'm not in a place where I can talk about it irl, which leaves a whole aspect of my life I can't discuss (or even mention) with people. I don’t want to get into the details just in case this post somehow reaches anyone who knows me irl (I doubt any of them would have a tumblr, but I could be wrong), but to make a long story short, I’ve had people who are my peers and higher ups in places I work imply (well not imply, they straight up said it in a public talk) that religious people should not be allowed to have certain jobs or wouldn’t be good at certain jobs, including my job (no they don’t know I’m religious and actually think I’m one of the best at my job, ironically) and in other professional situations I have been harassed in… for the sake of avoiding a trigger warning, “very inappropriate” ways specifically due to the fact that I’m religious. The saying I shouldn’t be allowed to have my job thing was completely unprompted since they didn’t know I was religious at the time. The other thing was because I wrote a cross necklace one time and offhandedly mentioned going to Church when asked on a Monday what I did the day before (which I regret telling them and will not be doing irl again). I have other examples, but I think you get the idea.

So yeah, in both cases it’s been a bummer to have something that’s a part of me, but I just have to go through life pretending it doesn’t exist. Not even in a “yeah I go to Church, I might mention it sometimes, but I’m not trying to force it on you or anything.” Or “there’s this show I really like and I write fan fiction about it. I know you probably think it’s cringe, but it makes me happy and a lot of people really love it” way. In the real world, I don’t talk about going to Church ever even when it’s relevant and most people just assume I don’t have hobbies because I know if I told them I wrote a 300k fanfic they’d find it a cringey waste of time. I don’t want to make either of those my whole personality or force anyone to listen to me talk extensively about an aspect of my life that they personally don’t like, but it is also weird when I have to be like “sorry, gotta run, I have a meeting at 5 today” and people are like “oh what meeting?” And I’m like “uhhhhh… not Bible study?” (Because I’m smooth like that) or when people are like “what do you do for fun?” And I’m like “writing” and they’re like “oh what writing?” And I’m like “well whatever I write, it’s certainly not 300k words of fanfic haha…”

All this to say, if I can’t talk about my hobbies and religion on tumblr, then where exactly am I supposed to do it? Like I said in my original post, I want to be sensitive to people’s traumas, I’ve known people (both religious and nonreligious) who have religious trauma, and I understand people don’t always have the positive relationship Christianity that I do, but that’s what tag blocking is for and there is no reason my followers who don’t like religion shouldn’t still be able to enjoy my fandom related content. Plus so far the worst harassment I’ve gotten online for posting Christian content doesn’t even begin to compare to the stuff I’ve dealt with irl (and I hope we never get there. Obviously, this is the internet, but I’m comforted by the fact the bar for harassment I’ve had to deal with is pretty high. I certainly hope no one is foolish or terrible enough to consider that as a challenge). Additionally, as I said in that post, just because some of my fics have religious themes in them or ideas about redemption, forgiveness, and love that have been directly inspired by my faith doesn’t mean my secular and non-Christian followers don’t, haven’t or can’t enjoy them. And so far, the vast majority of my followers (Catholic, Protestants, atheists, agnostic, those of other faiths, etc.) have been extremely nice about it in my asks and DM’s, saying that they either like the Christian content I’m reblogging or appreciate the tag blocking system so they can continue to enjoy my fandom content.

So post what you want and what you feel comfortable with. It’s your blog, your space, and you should be able to do what you want with it. Best of luck my friend! 💒✝️💕

#Bods Answers #christianity #catholicism #catholic

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i-am-still-bb · 8 months

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Treat for 22/10:

One of them is a modern witch and an owner of a famous potions recipe blog. The other one is a bit of a fanboy / just trying not to get his eyebrows synged off…

A/N: Originally conceived as an AU of The World Next Door. That had me stuck though. So we have this. But it still has similar elements, age gap, instructor/student dynamic, etc.

—

Fili drummed his fingers on the walnut conference table. One. Finger. At. A. Time. Focusing on how there were pits in the wood and some scratches in the varnish beneath his fingertips.

“Do you have any ideas?”

The silence following the question stretched on a beat too long and Fili knew he was supposed to answer. “Can you rephrase the question?”

“Enrollment numbers are dropping.”

“I’d noticed.”

“We need better student engagement and retention. Do you have any ideas? You are the most junior member of staff.” That last part was a thinly veiled dig and threat.

Fili shrugged, brushing off the words, “We could try putting some stuff on social media, teasers, sneak peeks, behind the scenes stuff. Stories about how potions and other magic sometimes go awry.”

Frowns appeared on the tenured track professors’ faces as soon as the words “social media” had left his mouth. This is why he rarely spoke up during these things. He kept his head down, did his research, lectured, and quickly attended conferences and published.

Alice, the other young faculty member, specializing in potions that assisted in the growing of plants, clapped her hands. “My students would love something like that,” she grinned. “And I think it would do them good to see us as human, to see that we also make mistakes and singe our eyebrows and armchairs off.”

The department head looked skeptical. “It is an ‘interesting’ idea,” Fili could hear the air quotes around the word. “I think one of you younger people should be in charge. And as Ms. Yu is already assisting the Archives in their project then it should be you, if you don’t mind.

Fili did mind. Very much in fact.

“It shouldn’t take that much time, maybe an hour a week,” the Head continued.

And that was how a decade later Fili found himself spending more time on social media (Instagram, TikTok, and the like) promoting the university more broadly and the potions department specifically.

He had asked for an assistant and was denied.

It was fun.

Sometimes.

But other times he was just answering basic questions, or telling people “NO! ABSOLUTELY DO NOT MIX THOSE THINGS TOGETHER!” and then hoping that they actually listened.

Most of the time he was typing up replies, proofreading, posting, recording response videos, without paying much attention to the usernames that came across his screen. Sometimes there was one that would strike him as particularly ridiculous or clever; he would screenshot it, crop it, and save it to a special folder on his computer. He did the same with responses that made him give up home for humanity.

But then there was one user, K.O.A.K., who asked questions that often made Fili pause and wonder and sometimes his only response was “I don’t know” even after he did some research and some serious thinking.

They had a video chain going back at least six months at this point.

Fili’s videos were well-lit against a carefully chosen background from a tripod; all courtesy of a performing arts student who interned for him for a semester. Really, she had bullied him into letting her do an unpaid internship. She was a double major and she said that the content of his videos were fantastic, but everything else was tragic.

So now part of Fili’s large office / workspace was permanently set up for filming videos.

K.O.A.K.’s videos were probably worse that Fili’s had started out as. He always held his phone which sometimes made Fili nauseous while the user tossed ingredients into a travel sized cauldron that sat on a stove that had a single burner and plugged into a wall outlet. The wooden table it sat on was scarred from mishaps and frequently littered with ingredients, snacks, dust, and the occasional iced coffee cup of varying fullness.

K.O.A.K. never showed his face.

His hands featured in nearly every video. Sometimes his bare feet (which Fili had scolded him for, “What if you spill [insert potion here]? Or it boils over?” K.O.A.K.’s only response had been laughter, and to show off a fairly impressive old scar on his shin from just that thing happening) appeared.

Fili shared tricks for making a potion that temporarily improved hand dexterity. “Roast the willow root before cutting it into thin 1 inch strips.”

K.O.A.K. responded with a video demonstrating the differences between his original potion, one following Fili’s tip, and then one where he had added some olive oil to the foil packet before roasting, and then had roughly minced the root.

Fili amended his notes.

He toyed with the idea of sharing his phone number as they starting talking about more than just tips and tricks for potions. But decided against it. This account operated in an official capacity. And it was probably bad enough that he was carrying on personal conversations through it.

But he did notice that the twinge of excitement he got when he saw a notification form K.O.A.K. was the same as the one he would get early on in a new relationship. He had more than a little bit of a crush. It was merely academic, or so he told himself. He did not often get to talk about potions with anyone else.

—

Direct Messages between You (Prof.Durin) and K.O.A.K.

You: Why don’t you have a degree in this? You’re better than some of my grad students.

IDK.

You: You should apply to Erebor’s program.

I don’t think they’d take me. I never took those ridiculous tests.

You: I’ll get them waived.

… I may not have finished secondary school

You: I’ll see what I can do.

—

Fili dismissed the class early. The first day of a new semester was always short. Most of his students were out of their seats and out the door before Fili had finished wiping down the whiteboard. Except for one. He was standing by the lectern, backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Did you have a question?”

The student shook his head. “I just wanted to introduce myself.”

Fili consulted his attendance sheet for a moment, “It’s Killian Oaks, right? If you would prefer something else, I can certainly do that. I just don’t have a note from the college about anything like that for you.”

“It is. But that’s not how you’d know me.”

Fili frowned in thought, one hand splayed over his papers on the desk. There was the niggle in the back of his brain that told him he was missing something.”

“You’d know me as . . .”

Taglist: Everything: @silvermoon-scrolls Fili/Kili: @dubhlachen

#bb writes #fili/kili #fiki

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entityupdates · 4 months

Text

March 2024 General Status Update…

…but it’s string of consciousness because if I save it to edit and format later I will forget to post it.

I don’t think I’ve talked about my irl life on this blog but I am a full-time student with two part time jobs and two internships so I am a busy boy. One of the jobs is new, started this month, so that’s eating into my free time that I wasn’t using to write fanfic anyway so not writing fanfic feels different even though it isn’t. The new job is writing related though and so are my internships, so I am writing, just not fanfic.

I decided to take a short break from fanfic while doing that but my Spring break is coming up at the end of the month so I plan on doing fanfic-related stuff there.

Destructive Interference will probably be finished by the end of the month. I need to edit chapter 14 then chapter 15 should be the last one, unless I spill over into another chapter. I simultaneously don’t want it to end and very much do want it to end.

I have a lot of Masking stuff I want to write but it probably won’t be posted for awhile. I don’t like posting wips and I think DI suffered in quality because I posted it too soon. I might post some stuff here on tumblr about what I have planned though just to see if there’s interest.

When I first posted Masking, I had an unrelated but thematically similar fic that I planned on posting immediately after but I didn’t like the ending so I just kind of ignored it for about 9 months. I recently figured out how to fix it and there are now at least 120 planned chapters.

And not even in a “oh no, my plans got away from me, this is too ambitious” way. 120 chapters in a “this is well planned in a way that will not make me lose interest and also has breaks for me to not get burnt out” way. So I’m going to be working on that. Won’t be posted super soon but we’ll see. It’s super cool and I know you guys will like it.

Roughly I’m planning to post the new fic when I’m done with the first 60 chapters. Very different style than the submas stuff I’ve written do far though so it shouldn’t take as long.

I also don’t really want to go back to the summer job I had last year and I’m trying to find something else but right now a lot of my fanfic plans are I’ll do that in the summer.

Next month my class schedule changes. I have rough plans for what that means for fanfic stuff but no hard plans so I’ll try to remember to do my monthly update next month.

And as usual sometimes oneshots I don’t plan for just magically happen on their own. I’ve got a few ideas rattling around.

#zhingo posting #self update

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plussizeed · 29 days

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ABOUT ME POST:

basics: my names megan. she/her pronouns! and im twenty one. im a christian (more about this later in post). i don’t know what else to say under basics…

account related info?: this will be a blog to document my progress with weight loss. it is not typical weight loss and all i will say is do not interact if you are sensitive to or in recovery from disordered eating. while i am not in recovery i do hope others can. you are strong and i believe in you! if you are not in recovery and are just as mentally ill as myself feel free to interact!

i’ve been in this community off and on throughout the years. i think i joined it around 13 though i never had interest in interacting with people consistently. i’m just very shy but i digress. to be honest with myself i have let myself go in more ways than one but this is to focus on loosing weight as i can’t even look at pictures of myself without crying. i’ve been kinda keeping to myself for a few months while i lose weight but i really wanted to join the community again for motivation.

i will not yet disclose my weight in this post since i would like to keep this up for awhile and regardless of if i lose or gain weight i don’t want to have to repost this or edit it. all i will say at the time of making this post (unironically and not being dramatic) clinically fat lol. i’ll be documenting my food like pictures of it and posting if i do work outs and stuff (don’t count on it for awhile. i truly hate working out because i find it to be so boring). and talking about struggles, things i find easy, and most definitely asking for advice lol. i’ll also probably repost things but i will will not be reposting advice unless it safer ways to do thing. i will only post “spo” when it’s something i deeply enjoy but feel free to check out my like posts to see what else i’m enjoying.

other things i have interest in: i really enjoy reading and music as i think most people do? my favorite books are a little life and go ask alice (emo i know…). music i really enjoy is the smiths, the cure, but i enjoy all genres of music anywhere from phonk to rap to country. i also play a few video games though they are the only ones i play… im not much of a gamer tbh but i play genshin impact, hsr, and wuwa. and here’s some shows i enjoy: bridgerton, the walking dead, shameless, and stranger things.

something i find i should add in interests is religion. i’m a christian myself but not only am i very respectful of others but i also love learning about them. i find religion in general to be a beautiful thing and creates wonderful communities for people. so not to worry if you follow another religion or not religious at all… i will not be mean or question you at all because that’s just rude and also not why i’m here. i just know some people are uncomfortable with christian’s due to the way certain sects of my religion act.

dni: 1) people who are in recovery or are sensitive to the subject of this account. this account is not meant to upset anyone… it is simply for me to document my experience and connect with other who are like me. 2) basic dni. i shouldn’t have to expand on this but if you need a list i can add one in the comments. 3) people who are mean for no reason. i’m a very shy person and i don’t do well with people who act like being rude is a personality trait. you just need to take a nap.

anyways thank you for reading. i hope i can connect in this community and find some support in my decision to do this again (not that it’s really up to me?). i thank you all for being understanding. and once again please i am begging you do not interact if you are in recovery or sensitive to this type of content.

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quelsentiment · 6 months

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🌳 2023 writing year in review 🌳

Thanks @feeisamarshmallow for tagging me!!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 10

2. Word count posted for the year: 172,831

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Video blogging RPF (Dream Team) and One Direction

4. Pairings:

dteam: every combination of dnn (both romantically and platonically) but with a preference for snf; dream & callahan

1d: zayn/louis

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Wild Card (641)

Bookmarks: Wild Card (345)

Comment threads: Wild Card (77)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

It's probably a tie between Wild Card and In Bloom. The first one because I managed to go past my insecurities and write whatever the hell I wanted to write even if it meant that the characters weren't always likeable, and the second one because I think it contains some of my favourite writing, especially in the first chapter, and I think it's one of my most memorable and personal stories

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Maybe my Zouis fic because it's a band AU and I would have wanted it to be longer and more intricate, but at that point I had lost most of my interest in the fandom so I just did what I could then called it a day :/ I don't really know if I'll ever write for 1d again, although Zayn will always be close to my heart and I suspect I might still get a Zouis brainrot at some point, so who knows

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I was so lucky to get a lot of lovely comments this year, and have people connect with my stories even though I'm new to the dteam fandom. Some of them were really meaningful and honestly made my day. On the lighter side of things, one of my favourite things that happened was someone bookmarking my fic In Bloom with the note 'trees', and also people losing their shit in the comments after I posted chapter 5 of Wild Card

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

... over the past few weeks. tbh I haven't even tried writing because I've been too busy dealing with chronic illness and anxiety + the holidays. Hoping that it gets better progressively and I'm able to get back to it.

Otherwise I wrote pretty consistently and productively throughout 2023, with a break in August when I spent time with family.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

In general, writing Wild Card was a kind of epiphany because it was my first time writing from Sapnap's POV and it made me realize how fun it was for me. I guess he's really impulsive and proud while also being loving and kind of shy, and I just love that combination.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From In Bloom:

“But you loved him?”

George turns to look at him but Sapnap is still staring at the view, acting like he didn’t just ask that incredibly personal question. George guesses they’re past that anyway. There’s something about today that just doesn’t make sense, like their meeting is an anomaly that shouldn’t have even happened, and this is probably what makes it easier to share some things that George usually keeps close to his chest. That, plus the fact that Sapnap will disappear tomorrow along with the last remnants of winter.

“I did love him,” George says quietly as he sits down on the floor, soon followed by Sapnap. “I loved him the way someone loves their first boyfriend or girlfriend, you know? Thinking it’ll last forever and all that, even when all signs pointed to the fact that it wouldn’t. But he made me feel grown-up, like I had my life together or something, which is pretty dumb because we were only nineteen when we got together. It’s weird, though, because I feel much more like a kid now than I did back then.”

He lights up another cigarette and offers Sapnap the first puff, a cheap excuse to feel the cold tip of his fingers again.

“So from what I’m understanding, you’re regressing,” Sapnap says. The smoke surrounds him like a halo before the wind makes it fade into the city below.

“Yeah, exactly. God, I need a job or something. Like, an actual job. Maybe then I’ll feel like an adult.”

He extends his hand, wanting the cigarette back, but Sapnap holds onto it. Maybe he is addicted already.

“But what about trees, though?” Sapnap says, taking another puff. “You can’t give up on trees.”

“No, you’re right, I can’t,” George sighs dramatically. “That’s the tragedy.”

Sapnap finally gives him the cig back and they fall into silence for a while, just enjoying the distant rumbling of the streets below, and the quiet sound of their breathing.

For the first time since they locked eyes in Kensington Gardens, Sapnap suddenly removes his cap so he can run a hand through his hair. The hat is back on before George can even process it, and he curses himself for not having been able to take a mental photograph of how Sapnap looked without that shield of his.

He offers the cigarette again. This time, Sapnap’s fingers linger on his for half a second longer.

“I’ve been in love for a long time, and it’s never made me feel like I was an adult,” Sapnap says, breaking the silence. “More like the opposite, actually. Sometimes I feel like a little kid who won’t take no for an answer, who clings on to the idea that maybe if I ask in the right way just once, he’ll change his mind.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think one of my goals last year was to explore darker themes, and I think I kind of did that by having morally grey characters who sometimes act like assholes and act in questionable ways, particularly in Wild Card, Light The Fuse, Fade Away and an anon fic. Also I'm still on my way to getting more and more comfortable with writing (semi-)explicit scenes, and it's been fun to work on that again this year.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I don't really know. Things have been pretty hard lately so all I want is to be able to go back to writing and have fun with it.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

In terms of other writers, definitely Selvish (I'm too awkward to tag him lol). I think we kind of have similar writing styles which is very comforting for me, and I just love how much thought he puts into the characters and their actions, and writes about stuff that's quite unique in the fandom, without shying away from darker themes

Other sources of inspiration were nature, especially trees, music as always (a lot of Susanne Sundfør and Paramore), films (Before Sunrise, Past Lives, That Summer Feeling) and tv (BBC Merlin and Bridgerton), plus probably other stuff that I'm forgetting about

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes!! As I said In Bloom is very personal, and a lot of the thoughts George has regarding his degree and his uncertainty about where his life is going were directly inspired by what I felt (also the fact that he goes on exchange in America). On top of that, some of the chapters of this fic are named after some of my favourite trees I encountered in the Pacific Northwest, and the first sentence about walking home from the library came to me as I walked home from the library

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Something that I already knew but was definitely reinforced this year was that it's impossible and useless to try and predict how 'popular' your fic is going to be in terms of stats. Like Wild Card kind of blew up (in my standards lol) and I genuinely didn't expect it to because I thought that pairing was pretty unpopular. And then I thought a fic like Fade Away would get much more engagement because of the exes to lovers trope, but it didn't happen. So in the end, even though stats didn't influence me that much to begin with, now I'm just like 'whatever, I'll write what I'll write and see what happens'

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I have one snf wip that I'm hoping to get back to soon. Otherwise we'll see where the year takes me

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

If you see this and want to do it please do!

#tag #overall a very good writing year for me - definitely better than 2022 so that's a win

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