#posts that have me saying butter dog to the dogs I'm looking after

[mrpldiddles]

puppy. | j.drysdale

a/n: so i actually started this this morning before the trade was announced😀 but here’s a quick(ish) little ig edit since i haven’t posted anything in awhile while i work on the tbosas fic that will be coming soon!!

rip trevjamie tho man idk how i’m gonna recover this is like barzy and beau all over again

anaheimducks posted:

anaheimducks: we have a four-legged announcement on #NationalPuppyDay! everyone say hi to Daisy!

comments:

user1: can we talk about jamie with daisy🥺

user2: trevor and jamie look like they need a dog

-> yourusername: don’t encourage them🤧

trevorzegras: @yourusername 🥺🥺🥺

-> jamie.drysdale: @yourusername please🥺🥺🥺

-> yourusername: are you gonna take care of it🥺🥺

-> trevorzegras: YEAH

-> yourusername: LIES you don’t even clean up after yourself

-> trevorzegras: HEY

-> jamie.drysdale: she has a point z…

-> trevorzegras: DON’T TAKE HER SIDE JIMMY

-> user3: this is so entertaining

jackhughes: @yourusername just let them have a puppy

-> trevorzegras: PUPPY! PUPPY! PUPPY!

-> yourusername: you live across the country jack you don’t get a say in this

-> jamie.drysdale: PUPPY! PUPPY! PUPPY!

-> colecaufield: but look how excited they are🥺

-> yourusername: cole you’re not even in the country

-> masonmctavish23: puppy???

-> yourusername: oh god not you too

-> trevorzegras: i promise to put it in direct sunlight and water it everyday🫡

-> yourusername: oh my god

-> jamie.drysdale: he’s joking! (i think…)

-> yourusername: you two are gonna be the death of me

-> trevorzegras: so PUPPY????

yourusername posted:

yourusername: @trevorzegras @jamie.drysdale puppy.

comments:

trevorzegras: PUPPY!!!

jamie.drysdale: PUPPY!!!

masonmctavish23: PUPPY!!!

colecaufield: PUPPY!!!

jackhughes: PUPPY!!!

_quinnhughes: you’re weak

-> yourusername: i know😞

yourbffsusername: how much did they pay you

-> yourusername: a year’s worth of cleaning the bathroom for trevor and a year’s worth of back rubs from jamie🥰

-> trevorzegras: i still think the difference in payment is unfair

-> yourusername: you may be my boyfriend’s boyfriend but you’re not mine

-> trevorzegras: 😞

anaheimducks: a new friend for daisy!!

-> yourusername: that’s what sold me on little miss maisie☺️

-> trevorzegras: for the record i wanted to name her nutter butter

-> colecaufield: NUTTER BUTTER🥜🧈

-> _quinnhughes: are you trying to ruin the poor dog’s life

-> jackhughes: i call for a re-vote between maisie and nutter butter

-> jamie.drysdale: y/n says no

-> yourusername: i’m not naming my child nutter butter.

jamie.drysdale posted:

jamie.drysdale: everybody say thank you @yourusername :)))))))

comments:

trevorzegras: thank you y/n!!!!!

colecaufield: thank you y/nnnnnn

jackhughes: thanks best friend y/n

-> yourusername: i think that title actually belongs to quinn

-> jackhughes: ouch

-> _quinnhughes: thank you best friend y/n

-> yourusername: you're welcome quinny

masonmctavish23: thank you y/n for making me an uncle

-> yourusername: ofc ofc

-> user2: aw mason’s her uncle🥺🤧

yourusername: you're lucky you're cute

-> jamie.drysdale: don't i know it

-> trevorzegras: and what about me???🥺🥺

-> yourusername: you're lucky your boyfriend's cute

-> trevorzegras: i'll take it!!!

yourusername: our maisie girl🥰

-> jamie.drysdale: my two girls😘

-> trevorzegras: our nutter butter😊

-> yourusername: your godfather privileges are so close to being revoked zegras

-> masonmctavish23: the dogfather

-> yourusername: you're next in line don't worry mac

-> trevorzegras: after that joke??!!!??

-> masonmctavish23: i'm committed what can i say

trevorzegras posted:

trevorzegras: welcome to the family nutter butter!!

comments:

yourusername: that is NOT my daughter's name

-> trevorzegras: OUR daughter

-> jamie.drysdale: something i wanna know??

-> yourusername: jamie please tell your boyfriend that our daughter is not named after a cookie

->user1: their family tree is so confusing

jackhughes: NUTTER BUTTER!!!

-> _quinnhughes: and you wonder why you weren't named godfather

-> jackhughes: y/n is this true😭

-> yourusername: thanks for breaking the news for me quinn

-> jackhughes: wow🤧

-> yourusername: so sorry😐

colecaufield: is it still too late for a name re-vote?

-> yourusername: yes.

-> trevorzegras: still up for debate

-> masonmctavish23: is it too late to claim my godfather title?

-> yourusername: please do i can’t take them anymore🤧

-> trevorzegras: you can pry my title out of my dead hands😤

-> yourusername: promise😍

-> jamie.drysdale: don’t tempt her z

anaheimducks: daisy and maisie duck!!

[mialikeshockey]

Flour Battle - Trevor Zegras

(credit to gif maker)

One of Trevor and I's favorite thing for a date night is, baking. Even though Trevor isn't very good at it, he still tries to help which is very cute, sometimes annoying. He loves to mess around, he either eats the raw ingredients or just dances around the kitchen listening to Taylor Swift and not letting me bake. So sometimes I have no other choice but to send him off to watch tv while I finish. Which leads us to, tonight. Another date, bake night.

I start getting the oven preheated while Trevor starts getting out everything we need to make sugar cookies. It's a simple recipe but it's one of our favorites, being the first cookies we made together on our first hang out. I walk over to Trevor, who's sitting on the counter reading the back of the flour.

"Scared I'm trying to poison you or something? I question him, he looks up and smiles. "No, I'm just reading this while you start so I can help." He giggles while saying his last couple words. "Yeah yeah." I start putting the correct amount of flour in the bowl and then I have Trevor melt some butter and get the eggs cracked. While he does that, I put sugar in the bowl.

I start finishing putting everything together and Trevor gets really quiet, nervous that he's messing with things and making a mess i turn around to see him holding his hand up to his mouth facing me.

"What do you have in your hand..?" I question him, confused. He just giggles, I look around to see what's around him that he got into. I see the flour open again. "Trevor Zegras, you better not." Trevor just laughs and blows the flour all over you.

"If this is in my hair, I swear I'm gonna hit you with a hockey stick." I grab the bag of flour and throw some at Trevor. He laughs and gets more, we continue to run around the kitchen trying to get each other back until the oven goes off.

"You're lucky i already had the dough ready or I wouldn't have been able to make the cookies you goober." Trevor starts cleaning up the flour, after you put the cookies in the oven, you do the same. "This is gonna be a fun mess to clean up." Trevor states staring around the kitchen with flour everywhere. "You started it, so I think you should clean it up. Since you know, I made the cookies."

Trevor shakes his head no, "Nope, you fought back. You're helping." I sigh and grab a towel to help clean up the floor and counters.

By the time we are done cleaning, the oven goes off. The smell of fresh baked cookies fills the air. "Cant wait to get my hands on some of those." Trevor wiggles his fingers while jokingly putting them in my face. "I will actually hit you with this hot pan." I joke back.

While we let the cookies cool, we both took turns taking a shower and checking on the cookies. We got changed into fresh clothes and then got some cookies on a plate.

We sit down on the couch and turn on Mighty Ducks, we eat our cookies and watch the movie. Trevor falls asleep mid movie like he normally does, I slowly push him off of me so I can go clean up from the cookies. I put the rest of the cookies in a container and put them up and then wash the dishes that we used.

I tap Trevor until he wakes up, "Come on sleepyhead, let's get you to bed." Trevor just sighs and gets up. I turn the tv off and follow him to the room.

He lays in bed and covers up and goes right back to sleep. I turn over and sit up and start drawing away in my book. I wonder what our next baking adventure will be.

——————————————————————————

I wrote this last night but I needed to post something because I’m so mad my fat dog ate my AirPods 😭

my friend kinda requested this so yeah

@hrts4edwards

[kangals]

way back in 2014, probably a few weeks or months after you posted that picture of boone with the stick on his head, i checked your blog out and so dearly enjoyed all the dogposting that i followed. i think you were the first dogblr blog i actually followed at the time, but it's been ages and my memory is bad, so i'm not fully sure. it wasn't long before then--2012 i think?--that i had gotten a new dog of my own, a border collie. iirc he and boone were just about the same age.

in 2018 i lost that blog i'd followed you with, and a lot of connections with it. i didn't return until 2021, and when i did, i didn't refollow most of the old blogs; i don't think i even really went looking for them. it took me a while to get back into the swing of using tumblr.

last september, my border collie had a sharp health decline, and i had to say goodbye. it's not the first time i've had to put a pet down, but i think it was the hardest. i'm still not over it. even just typing this now, i feel raw.

then in march or so, i made a new fandom friend who knows you, and i enthusiastically recalled following you before and how much i enjoyed it. i didn't even know about stellina, and now there's kep too! but... i also didn't know you'd lost boone. i followed because i still really enjoy your blog, and i love your collies too. and butters!!! so glad she's still here!

idk what made me look tonight... maybe because i talked about my old border collie with someone today. i went looking for the posts immediately around when you lost boone, because i guess some part of me wanted to know what happened. i spent the better part of an hour (maybe longer?) reading posts from the weeks before the decline, and then the loss, and then the deluge of old boone pictures after, and i've been crying pretty much the whole time just reading your posts and tags about him.

and this is a long and windy way to get to saying thank you. i'm glad you shared your grief, though that seems like a weird thing to say. there's something cathartic about crying over someone else's dog when you still hurt about your own, and knowing you're not alone in that kind of sorrow. boone was such a beautiful boy. i'll never forget that silly post that made me check your blog out in the first place, or the years of posts i stuck around for after. i wish i'd remembered to follow sooner, but the archive is still there, and it's so fun looking through all those old posts about him and his quirks and antics. he was amazing.

sorry for the length of this, i just... really wanted you to know that he touched yet another life, i guess. and i've been so deeply enjoying your posts about stellina and kep. i know it'll be a year soon... i hope there's some peace in how things have gone since he passed, and i hope the anniversary isn't too hard on you. thank you for sharing him with us.

i've been on tumblr for 14 years and this is, genuinely, the nicest ask i think i've ever been sent.

thank you - sincerely. there's been a lot of times over the course of this blog that i've felt like i was oversharing, or talking about pointless things only i cared about. i still so frequently start typing out a post only to stop mid-sentence and delete it because i can't help but think "no one cares about this." possibly it's why i like to talk about my pets so much - they're not me, but i'm the one who knows them best, so i get to say "hey look at this" and ramble and have people say "i'm looking" back. when boone passed, i lost that filter and i poured my grief out into this blog because it was the closest outlet i had. and to have hundreds of people not only acknowledge this but to commiserate, to reassure, to share their own stories - that helped healed me more than i can put into words. it's exactly as you said: there's a catharsis in grieving together.

i am sorry you also had to say goodbye. i wish i could say it gets easier, but i think that would be defeating the point of grief. your grief is your love and damn it if there isn't any act more loving in the world than choosing to say goodbye to an old, loyal dog. you think of how dogs were domesticated tens of thousands of years ago, of how human society and dogs have developed intertwined, of how we have records of ancient greeks and romans carving loving epitaths on their dog's graves, of how a prehistoric dog's skull was found with a bone placed in it's mouth after death, and you wonder if grieving a dog isn't one of the most consistent experiences in the whole of human history that there is.

i'm glad to know that this could bring you some comfort, in some way. it's incredibly touching to know that you kept me and boone in your thoughts for all this time. i am doing ok - i've been reflecting a lot as we approach the one-year mark. i'm not sure if i'll be able to condense those thoughts down into coherent words, but i'll do my best. i hope that my silly little pets continue to bring you some happiness, and that you've found peace with your own grief.

thank you, again - this is extremely touching and means a hell of a lot to me.

[foodsies4me]

March Malec fic rec!

A very big thank you to @just-add-butter for this month's suggestion: Animal transformations! As usual, I'm keeping it to one fic per author, bust several of these authors have multiple fics that apply and even more fics that are wonderful. And, if you want to add you own recs in the replies, tags or reblogs please feel free to do so! (Also if someone has a theme for April please tell me so I can get that list out a bit sooner than at the very end of the month, lol)

I have tagged the authors whose Tumblr account I know, but if you'd prefer I not tag you, please tell me so! I don't want these to be annoying for the authors.

One-shots:

Hop into my arms by @malecfan09: Magnus gets turned into a bunny and it's adorable, what more do you want me to say? This is just fluff, fluff and more fluff.

Summary

Magnus has been magically turned into a bunny by a rogue warlock and Alec looks after him until the spell wears off. *** Flufftober 2023: Day 18 - protecting and Day 20- reading together

Shake Your Fetters Loose by Dreadwyrms: Alec gets turned into a dog and Magnus is NOT a dog person. Post canon with married Malec and again lots of fluff.

Summary:

An investigation into a rogue warlock goes very, very wrong, and Magnus learns he’ll never ever really be a dog person. AKA the one in which Alec accidentally gets turned into a dog.

Everybody (does not) want to be a cat by Falazure: One of the many, many Magnus or Alec get turned into a cat fics on this list.

Summary:

Magnus has suffered worse things in his long life, but being turned into a cat was still up-there on the list of rather annoying inconveniences.

Deepest desires (give in) by @myulalie: Another kitty Magnus fic based on a drawing by @misawkward.

Summary:

Were-cats are good luck by shadowhunters' standards, so when a black, jewelry covered cat appears at the Institute, Alec pays him his respects. He needs it, considering the messes Clary and Jace keep dragging him in. Alec certainly doesn't expect the were-cat to take a liking to him, and even less to start flirting with him...

the catastrophe of success by @alexanderlightweight: A personal favourite Magnus cat fic of mine!

Summary:

Magnus Bane was the most eligible bachelor in the Downworld, sought after by everyone from mundanes to Seelie Princes but a man tired after centuries of heartbreak. In an attempt to gain a respite from his admirers, Magnus proposed a deal. A key to his loft and a path through his wards guarded by his cat, if anyone managed to take the key, Magnus would grant them a date.

Multi-chapter fics or series:

The dragon!Alec series by @to-the-stars-writing, who is perhaps the queen of the dragon Alec fics. I have read and reread every single one of them.

Summary of Building a Clan (aka part one in this series)

Keeping secrets was never easy. Alec should know – he was keeping quite a few. Sometimes it was hard to remember who knew what secrets. The chance of slipping up, the damage that could cause, was unthinkable. There were too many things about himself that he couldn’t let just anyone know. Too many things that marked him as wrong or different, even if he didn’t understand why sometimes. His family were the only ones to know his biggest secret, one that could get him killed if he wasn’t careful. Bad enough that his parents had once been a part of the Circle and extremely close to Valentine himself. If any Shadowhunters – or, Angel forbid, the Clave – ever found out that Maryse had allowed Valentine to inject her with something, mixing what she’d been told was more Angel blood with her unborn child, the ramifications could be catastrophic for their family. More so if they ever found out it wasn’t Angel blood that he’d injected the fetus with. It was dragon blood.

The Warlock's Cat by @dreaming-marchling, which I already put on my end-of-the-year rec list, but it deserves to be here again because So Good. Kitty Alec fic!

Summary

Pain raced up his arm. It was a sharp throb that radiated out. More than a broken bone. When Alec went to flex his hand to see how bad it was he couldn’t. His eyes snapped to his own hand and there was no hand. There was no him. By the Angel… Alec scrambled up on uncoordinated legs – too many legs! – that trembled underneath him. He panted and looked down at himself as best he could. Dark fur. Two paws, one still scorching with pain. The ground not even a foot below him even though he was standing as tall as he could. Reality was screaming at him and Alec couldn’t accept it. His brain couldn’t wrap itself around what was in front of him. That bastard had turned him into a cat.

Shoelaces and Precious Metals by @violet-renegade: Another dragon!Alec fic that is angsty and sweet and just a very nice read.

Summary

Magnus loves Alexander, his proud dragon Shadowhunter, and he knows that Shadowhunters don't display their relationships with collars the way Downworlders do. Magnus always thought he understood what that meant for him and Alec. As it turns out, Magnus didn't understand at all In the early months of their relationship, Alec had let himself wonder about what kind of collar Magnus might offer him. Sometimes, he'd even indulge in the thought that Magnus would coordinate Alec’s collars with his own outfit, marking it clear who Alec belonged to every time they went out. And then Magnus doesn't ask. And doesn't ask. And doesn't ask.

Hearth and Home by @molly_jae: And another Dragon!Alec fic. Yes there are a lot of dragon fics!

Summary of Ichor and Cuddles which is the first part in this two-part series:

“Alexander, I love you,” Magnus sighs, throwing his head back with a thud against the hardwood floor. “But unlike your lovely scales, ichor does not just slide off my limited edition Marc Jacobs jacket, or these pants you love to see my ass in.”

The Warlock's Familiar by @harkasun: Another cat!Alec fic!

Summary:

For over five years, Alec Lightwood has been denied his birth right: that of a familiar to be claimed by a warlock. When he finally finds that warlock, having talked him down from the ledge of Brooklyn Bridge, he despairs to find that the man wants nothing to do with him. With rising pressures from his family, and his warlock’s steadfast determination to shut him out, Alec must talk his way into Magnus’s home and heart. The only question is: how far will he go to claim his fate?

[wileycap]

Alright, my algorithm content is filling up with crazy people whom I've been dutifully blocking (don't judge me sometimes I want tumblr to feed me pictures of cats like I'm a small baby bird) which, you know, we all know why it's happening in an American election year.

So I'd like to caution you against one of the more insidious types of posts they have.

The Reasonable Post.

I'm going to be using the words Cats and Dogs to describe any (false) dichotomy that these people want to push. Why? Because this shit is as depressing as a single lost candy in a tin of sewing supplies. Obviously most people can see what the following examples are patterned after, but this sort of thing happens with any number of groups. Creating dichotomies and conflating different groups of Others (i.e. harnessing existing hate towards Group A by suggesting that they are all also members of Group B, with Group B being the real target) is the bread and butter of information warfare.

Imagine the following post:

"Not all Dogs are bad and we shouldn't prejudge every single Dog."

That is a Reasonable Post. Everyone can agree with it and usually they should. There is nothing wrong with that post, it really is just a very uncontroversial statement that the vast majority of people should be able to agree with. It is deliberately ignorant of any social context or the framework in which these discourses happen, but it's not wrong.

But let's consider the framing. The post exists as part of a blog, which, by unfortunate happenstance, also has other posts in it.

So, We Can't Classify Every Dog As Evil (good post, 3000 notes) exists within the same space as classics like...

Cats complain, Dogs do.

The purpose of a Cat is to stay indoors and protect the house from pests. This is one of the hardest jobs out there, and Cats should be praised!

A Dog has to HUNT. Cats will never understand this. (A/N: if you google "are cats predators" this will become a Very Funny hypothetical post from a nonexistent blog discussing a nonexistent dichotomy.)

Dogs: "Alright, human, today I've helped you with hunting, tracking and herding sheep! If there's anything else you need me to do, I've still got energy!" Cats: "Today I laid around doing nothing. Where's my food? Also my bed is bad so I stole the Dog's."

Oh, look, 5 Cats who committed Cat Crimes. I wonder if they'll receive a fair and proportionate punishment...

Et cetera, et cetera. The posts will continue to escalate, from seemingly harmless to outright hateful. They will attack existing social structures to frame them as favoring the Other. The Reasonable Post acts like the funnel theory in sales, reaching a large audience and sucking as many of them in as possible until only a few "sales" happen - but it also serves as a shorthand for likeminded people (a dogwhistle, if you will) via its framing and content that this is a blog that promotes the ideology they want to see.

*I've also noticed that a lot of these blogs have "traditional" or "vintage" pinup art. This could just be a matter of personal preference (after all, I like old timey boobs as much as the next girlie), or it could be another funnel, where people who would like to see More Boobs click on the blogs and find some boobs, but also the other stuff. Not that this has ever happened to me.

After the blog establishes some sort of following, they're usually free to engage in more extreme discourse. The Reasonable Post can then be used as a shield: "I was only saying what I've been saying all along: you shouldn't judge all Dogs. I'm sorry if that offends you."

There is also a highly desireable side effect for the Reasonable Post - it can drive people to disagree with what really is an uncontroversial, widely accepted opinion. Of course, the people disagreeing are usually (a) crazy themselves, (b) fourteen, (c) directing their interactions at the wider framework of their post, not the uncontroversial statement itself or (d) a combination. They might even be sock puppets. But these interactions are extremely valuable to these kinds of blogs. All of a sudden, they have an Enemy - an unreasonable person who probably wants to kill all of the Dogs!!! This is what we're fighting against! Rally!

And then the screenshots of those interactions can be fed into Facebook for easy outrage, or a "meme account", or any number of places where they can gain traction. They are used to reinforce existing ingroup loyalties and to bolster hate against outgroups. They are used to muddle the waters, to make extremist ideas seem like reasonable discourse and to provide plausible deniability. They are used to discredit "the opposition". Remember: fascism always requires an enemy that is both strong and weak.

Many fascist and extremist movements in the age of social media use these same tools to recruit and to advertise, and this post - while long - barely scratches the surface.

However, there is a very good way to limit the damage. Think critically about posts you see, this one included. (I should state that I'm, like, a huge leftist, and all that that implies) Familiarize yourself with common dogwhistles. Vet the blogs you see - a quick glance is usually all it takes. Block the user and don't interact with the post. Don't give it visibility.

And remember: you are not immune to propaganda.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hello~~ I really enjoy your work and wanted to let you know that!!💖💕

I saw your open requests for lookism and wanted to request something so would it be alright for me to request some HCs or a little fic of Johans time in Big Deal (though I think he was only there for a very short time 😔)

(I’m a huge Johan x Lua shipper but I’m not sure whether you feel comfortable with the ship so without romantic interactions between them would be fine too🥹 tho if there were some romantic interactions that would be even better hskwkqj )

Once again tysm for posting all these fics! They always bring a big smile onto my face 😭💕

Awww thank you so much you're so sweet! Really this means a lot to me 🥰 You really know how to butter someone up before asking for something eh? Thanks for the ask :) here's a little Johan x Lua!

Johan Seong (x Lua Im): Making new friends

From Johan's perspective. You meet a strange girl

You sit there pitifully with Eden for company after being rejected from Big Deal.

Yes you might have been give some money and advice to steal shoes, but a life of petty crime isn't what you hoped for. Joining Big Deal was supposed to be your lifeline. How long is the cash going to last until you really had to start beating people up for their shoes?

As you continue to wallow and think about what to do next, a girl steps into your line of sight.

You ignore her but she remains unmoving and instead waits patiently for your acknowledgement.

Ugh isn't she going to go away?

You scrub at your tear-stained face, annoyed at this disturbance and stranger interrupting your thoughts. "What do you want?"

"Can I stroke him?" she points in your direction, bouncing on her toes excitedly.

"No!" Who knew what sort of weirdos this street attracted, you couldn't let just anyone touch your best friend. You hug Eden possessively to your chest.

The girl starts to laugh, "I meant you. Your hair looks kinda funny."

You frown at her as your hands reach up to tug at your hair. Your mother had cut it. With her struggling sight, you knew that she didn't do a good job, but she always tried. It was a thing she always did for you and it made her happy. You didn't ask for this stupid girl's opinion.

"Go away!" You turn from her and give her a rude gesture instead.

"Jeez, I wasn't trying to be rude."

At your lack of response, she continues "I just meant that it's fluffy... like your dog's tail," she bends down for a closer inspection, "it's pretty cute actually."

"Oh..." Before you could even respond to that, she suddenly straightens back up.

"Hey! Wanna share some ricecakes? My granny said they're really good here!"

Ricecakes do sound good, your stomach growls at the thought. But nothing in life comes for free.

"...Really? What do you want?"

She points directly at Eden this time, "Can I stroke him?"

You think about it for a moment, you didn't have anything to lose. "Fine. You're definitely going to pay right?"

"Of course!" she tuts at you, irritated that you even needed to ask. Nonetheless, she crouches down to fuss Eden, giving him some belly rubs which he eagerly accepts. You watch them both fondly, maybe she can't be all that bad if Eden likes her.

After what feels like an eternity, she finally dusts herself off and wipes the excess fur on her jeans before reaching out to drag you along.

"My granny says I'm always collecting strays and troublemakers," she flashes a grin at you, "So what's both your names?"

"Erm, this is Eden and I'm... Johan."

"I'm Lua! Thanks for letting me play with Eden," she gives you another smile and this time you feel yourself blush.

[mygainyear2024]

Day 18 Delayed

After not one, but two pastel de natas before my dance class at the gym, and a homemade sardine tosta I walked 5+ kms to my third language lesson via Clarice, in Alvor, for a proper latte ☕️

I tried to video the garbage collection system near my apartment but failed in my timing. The collectors were also looking at me strangely as I held my phone up to film!

I did get a better shot of the cute dog that looks out over the neighbourhood with interest. I had a brief chat with the owner to confirm he's only two. Noticeably, there are lots of dogs, as well as learner drivers and pastelarias.

After the fun language lesson, practising conversation starters and replies, I had an interesting conversation with a retired fireman, Gary from Ireland 😉 I noticed Gary at the first lesson. He seemed broodish, but I think he may be an introvert, if that's possible for an Irish man? Although my depth of experience with Irish men is limited to one!!! (Yes kids, I know he had a problem with alcohol and you thought he was gay, BUT he did make great duck fat baked potatoes!) Today Gary came with his lesson notes neatly stored in plastic sleeves in a folder, but he said "que interessante" with as much enthusiasm as a wet fish. Rebecca asked him to be a bit more animated. I think his interest must have peaked in me when he heard me saying, in terrible portuguese "sou impragada do estado" which translates to "I am imprisoned by the State". I'll need to check this with Rebecca at the next lesson, I'm sure there's a better way to say "public servant". I'm also "dona de casa" which means investment property owner, but it also means housewife!

Gary wanted to give me lots of advice about superannuation. I’m sure he was well intentioned but I feel quite informed 😂 Sadly the teacher is taking a break next week so I’ll miss Gary, but I’ll ask around, apparently he is a member of a walking group and I need to do some more walking 😜

I’m now getting ready to have dinner with Rosie at Restaurante F in Praia da Rocha. She’s messaged me this afternoon to invite me to a book launch tomorrow night at Irish Rovers, que interessante!! She also said “We will also go tonight to listen to the band after dinner” Stay tuned….

So dinner at Restaurante F was pleasant. I had high expectations (from the number of Facebook comments after I posted the request, “recommendations for best restaurant with ocean views and I don't care for steak!) and also when I saw the selection of breads being wheeled around on a trolley and a separate aperitif menu. The bread (cornbread, pumpkin bread and plain) and two butters were delicious, the shared prawns ok and my first cataplana of octopus, clams and sweet potato (Algarve stew cooked in copper or stainless steel pot) tasty, rounded out with the shared crème brûlée and bottle of rosé, not cheap comparatively at €50 each. But, the company was definitely worth it. Rosie regaled me with fabulous stories about her relationships and the number of suitors she has at the moment. And as a supplier of gummies to some of her cruise tour members (it’s legal in Canada)😂 She certainly lives an exciting semi retired solo life.

We then went to Irish Rovers, and yes that same bartender made a beeline for Rosie and started his lines on me. I reminded him that he'd already made me a cosmo last week and I'd heard his BS! Later I did give him a hard time about how long he'd been using those lines on women at this pub (six years!) and had it ever worked (no) and I suggested it might be time to come up with a new strategy. The band were pretty dreadful, actually it was mostly the lead singer that did have Rosie and I in stitches. His voice was not loud enough to be heard over the instruments (probably for the best), and I couldn't work out if he was Irish, Portuguese or another nationality. Rosie said he looked 100! Are white singlets on tattooed older lead covers' singers still a thing? And he was drinking red wine. It was too many contradictions for me to manage, given I don't go out to these kind of venues at all. I did say to Rosie twice that a strong female lead would fix this situation. Rosie knows the owners, Martin and Jenny. They weren't pub owners in Ireland, but have owned Irish Rovers for 10 years and according to Rosie it's the most successful pub in the Algarve. Martin was in the band on keyboard (and I thought he could actually sing) and Jenny was behind the bar. At one point she quickly came over with three shot glasses of some creamy beverage and said a hurried hello, downed the shot, and went back to the bar. Apparently the book launch is for a Portuguese poet that Jenny doesn't know, but she wanted to be supportive, stay tuned...

Rosie did tell me about a fantastic Thai massage she had, so I've tracked down the salon and the therapist and booked myself in for this afternoon.

[pardonmydelays]

GET TO KNOW ME

i was tagged by @poptart-cat-78 to answer some questions (thank you thank you) 🩷 there were two parts, but i decided to start a new post and combine them into one (cause i'm a mastermind).

PART ONE

are you named after anyone?: no, i don't think so. i have a cousin who is named after me tho.

when was the last time you cried?: yesterday? i cry every day so probably.

do you have kids?: nope and i don't think i will ever have them tbh.

do you use sarcasm a lot?: sometimes i think i use it too often. chandler bing is my spirit animal.

what's the first thing you notice about people?: i think it's their smile. or hair color. idk idk.

what's your eye color?: blue.

scary movies or happy endings?: ok look... i'm not saying i don't like happy endings, i love them, i really do. BUT. they make me forget about the movie/show/game too fast. i think sad/bittersweet endings are my thing. i want to be traumatized and think about it for the rest of my fucking life. scary movies are fine. i am choosing the secret third thing tho.

any special talents?: no, absolutely not. i am not talented in any way.

where were you born?: 🇵🇱.

what are your hobbies?: consuming any kind of media (music, tv shows, movies, video games etc etc) to find new obsessions, i also play ukulele a little and i like being annoying, i love collecting gifs in my phone.

have any pets?: no, but i would love to have cats and dogs (yes, plural).

what sports do you play/have played?: bold of you to assume i'm a sport person.

how tall are you?: 5'4 (not tall).

favourite subject in school?: english, cause i was pretty good at it (sometimes you have to learn foreign language in order to understand your favorite songs).

dream job?: no job at all. i just want to be in bed.

PART TWO

first ship: i think i already mentioned that in some other tag game, maddie and zack from the suite life of zack and cody (at least the first one i remember).

three ships: pb&j (pam and jim from the office because that's what i'm currently watching), i'm pretty sure claire and charlie from lost were also named peanut butter & jelly (because of reasons) so let's put them here because i suddenly miss lost, and let's say monica and chandler from friends because i would fucking die for them.

last (current) song: gracie abrams - right now.

last movie: star wars: episode III - revenge of the sith 💔

currently reading: posts on tumblr.

currently watching: the office/star wars/jimmy fallon (yes, i am watching all of this at once every day because it's a good distraction and i need to be distracted all the time).

currently consuming: i am drinking water at the moment (stay hydrated babes).

currently craving: a cheeseburger.

this was long but also fun. np tags: @meetmeatthemidnight, @tisthedamnseasns, @era-zona, @selcouthangel, @midnights-ts, @happinessforevermore. have fun guys 🩵🩵🩵

[legendaryprofessorwisteria]

Hey Professor!

I'm a Galarian trainer, and I've come across one type of those odd Paldean pokémon.. well, two but I'll get to the second one eventually. You're gonna need some context

First is the purple Cyclizar-esque lizard. It kind of crashed into my balcony window and I found it in my apartment after getting home from work. (Quick background for me is that I specialize in dragon-type pokemon rehabilitation (from injuries, etc.), and specialize in pseudo-legendary/legendary pokémon, so I had a general idea of what to do.) It wasn't hostile to me— most likely since my partner Dragapult was watching it, but the poor guy was startled and hungry.

Long story short, I managed to catch it after befriending the big guy with sandwhiches. (Perhaps they're food motivated?) They're currently in an ultra ball sitting on my bed as I'm typing this.

Now for the question—

Were you aware of an orange variant? It has white feathers, a throat sac that inflates to resemble a wheel and is around the same size as the purple one? It looks like Cyclizar, but almost dinosaur/fossil pokemon-esque. Similar to the odd Jiggilypuff in a way.

It is also in an ultra ball, it was.. surprisingly very friendly, almost like a dog pokémon. I have a set of clothes in the wash that were covered in drool. No idea how it got in, but there it is.

The purple one will be named 'Jelly', and I've decided to call the orange one 'Peanut Butter' in order not to freak anyone out if I ever mention these two.

Sorry for the long ask, I believe these two occurances should be made known to you.

— Aster

Anon, you may be the luckiest person alive, and it sounds like you were precisely the right person for these two to run into. Thank you so much for telling me about this! What an experience you've had there. I'll respond more - because long post and spoilers - under a cut. I will say now though, we do know about the orange variant!

The two Pokemon you met are formally called Koraidon (the orange one), a Fighting/Dragon type, and Miraidon (the purple one), an Electric/Dragon type. For reference, this is what they look like:

They may look slightly different from the ones you encountered, but that is because these Pokemon are able to take on different forms - much like Cyclizar can stand up on two legs to battle or go on all fours and move quickly, these Pokemon can assume these forms for battle or move around quickly in their other forms. For reference on those forms, I've been sent these wonderful photos from Paldea, where a couple Trainers actually managed to catch both a while back, but their existence was kept between a select few people until these Paradox Pokemon started running rampant (that's how we know so much about them).

Side tangent real quick...aren't they adorable? By Arceus if these things end up being legal to own I might have to put my present plans on hold.

Ahem, that aside, these two are remarkably calmer and more tractable than the other Paradox Pokemon, which was probably why they were receptive to being calmed down by you. They have a confirmed genetic resemblance to Cyclizar, which may have something to do with it - a running theory is that Koraidon is from the past and Miraidon from the future, and because Cyclizar is so remarkably tame and intertwined with human history, the human-friendliness of Cyclizar is also true of its past and future forms! And yes, it does seem that all three are very food-driven.

However...they are also by far the strongest of the Paradox Pokemon, and evidence suggests they command some form of innate authority over others from their time period, akin to a lot of Legendary Pokemon. The lab is actually getting a pair of them and several other Paradox Pokemon that got caught/taken down shipped in soon to test the theory - and because I have a tamed Iron Moth, I'll get to be part of it! Very exciting. So you're very lucky your encounter with these two went so well.

I'd still recommend calling it in to your local professor/s or people who work with Legendaries if you can - we need all the help and info we can get!

[evilwolf2000]

ok i had a good day today, really good

there was a yard sale put on by me and a lot of pals it was pretty fun and good i think i made like $70 but i also spent some too. there was a cute dog that looked like mcduff and my best baef gave me this vegan chorizo breakfast sandwich. oh, i'm vegetarian now btw. only because i think i figured out that it's any meat that hurts my stomach sooo bad. kind of sad because i've been trying make MAD GAINZ 💪 but i haven't been able to because everything was making me sick. i posted on reddit ftm fitness with a pic asking if it seemed like i could have abs by summer and they all were like fucking no, eat more. i'm glad i figured out it was meat so i can not eat it and not get sick but idk what to compensate with for protein. i don't like fish or peanuts and i hate the taste and texture of protein powder

highlight buys are this t shirt and these weird pants. i also got a cool t shirt that says coed naked weight lifting

me and bestie got indian food after and i finally bought a zip. it's in the crockpot infusing butter right now i'll post later

(spring playlist)

there was a girl there i kind of like i went on a date with several months ago after getting her number at a party but then she got a boyf but now they are broken up. i started flirting with her on auto pilot but i was kind of hesitant because i just don't know if it would work out for me rn. she seemed into it though

[afniel]

I posted 1,406 times in 2022

That's 645 more posts than 2021!

96 posts created (7%)

1,310 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@catgirlwheels

@vaspider

@zypiris

@woolen-feathers

@hockpock

I tagged 295 of my posts in 2022

#faepunk - 21 posts

#food - 8 posts

#chronic pain - 8 posts

#chronic fatigue - 7 posts

#fibro - 5 posts

#disability - 5 posts

#game dev - 4 posts

#medical - 4 posts

#fibromyalgia - 4 posts

#minecraft - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#he went on to tell me that i'm not allowed to work on sprites or anything today because i'm running myself into the ground mentally over it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I just dreamed the newest Tumblr meme was posting pictures of baroque art with your estimation of how long it would take you to destroy said piece of art, frequently along with very aggressive assertions that your guess was exactly right down to the second...what the fuck, sleeping me?

29 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

#4

Psst. Do you like white mochas? Do you not want to give Starbucks money right now because they're a bunch of union busting assholes? 'Cause I got something special just for you.

I have reverse engineered the ingredient list I remember off their white mocha bottles from when I worked there, and made it about ten times better, and it is mad easy to make at home.

YOU'RE GONNA WANT:

A bar of good quality white chocolate; Ghirardelli's baking bars are fantastic for this. Look for something that's mostly cocoa butter.

About 3-4 tablespoons of sweetened condensed milk

About a tablespoon of heavy cream

About a tablespoon of boiling water

A dash of salt

Break the white chocolate up and put it into a small microwave-safe container. Microwave it on high for 30 second intervals, stirring between each one, until it's good and melted.

Drop 3 or 4 tablespoons of sweetened condensed milk in there. It's not an exact measurement because let's be honest, that stuff's hard to measure.

Start mixing.

It will immediately seize into a solid mass and you'll think I'm fucking with you after all. This is normal. Chocolate is an incredibly weird emulsion and this is just how the chocolate do when it sees a water molecule! Stir until it's at least a uniform solid mass, and then add a tablespoon of boiling water. The hotter the better.

After a little bit it'll unseize and abruptly turn smooth again. If it doesn't, hit it with another teaspoon of boiling water and it will.

Add that tablespoon of heavy cream and mix in. You can even make it two tablespoons if you want. I'm not the boss of you.

Add a dash of salt to taste. I'm a two-dash kinda person myself, because it counters how much sugar is in it. Which is a lot.

And boom. That's it. You now have white mocha sauce comparable to any coffee chain's brand except actually it's way better. Store it covered in the fridge, it'll keep a while but it's probably best to use it within the week since it's got fresh dairy ingredients.

Can it be made vegan? Probably but you'd have to find white chocolate with no dairy additives to start with, and then sweetened condensed non-dairy milk if that exists, and probably use coconut cream, and I dunno I haven't tried at all so you're on your own for that if you want to experiment.

Anyway, enjoy your white mocha sauce, fuck Starbucks, union strong. ✊🏻

65 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

#3

Annual petition to put thorn and eth back in the alphabet. Icelandic gets ðem, why can't we have nice þings too.

92 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#2

Feminist spaces are currently pretty hostile to men, particularly those who want to talk about what they face under patriarchy, and who want to participate without being pressured to self-flagellate or allow themselves to be a target for other people's unrelated frustrations.

Oh, there it is. There's why I hate it so much when someone's like "all men are dogs" or whatever right to my face, and even more angry when they say, "shut up and don't argue with me because you should know I don't mean you, but you're being part of the problem now."

If they so obviously don't mean to include me, are they saying then that I'm not a man? I'll fucking fight. And it is NEVER, EVER "part of the problem" for a trans person to deny someone the ability to talk shit about them on the basis of their gender.

It's not my job to be a punching bag for shit I didn't do. There's certainly things I'll accept that I've been complicit in, even if it was through ignorance. That, however, is not one of them.

(Emphasis mine, text from a post by nothorses that I didn't want to hijack just to make a personal point on.)

97 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

516 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[startanewdream]

i saw your prompts post and came running: lily and james finding out they are pregnant again -not planned- (maybe third time of your jily au lives?) while everyone is hanging out at their house 😛

Can I write something very silly and short on these lines for April's Fool?

(A sort of missing scene from Mia's chapter in Shotgun Wedding).

*-*-*-*-*

James' eyes are still sparkling with tears as he moves around the kitchen, unable to stay still.

"Why do you want for breakfast?" He asks, opening the fridge and staring at it critically. "We will need to buy more fruits, maybe some vitamins, get rid of all these —"

"Easy, James," Lily says, beaming at him. "We already had breakfast, remember?"

"You need a better one." He kneels in front of her, holding her hands. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"It's always nice to hear it," Lily muses, lowering her head to brush her lips against his and then, of course, they are deepening the kiss and his hands—

"Hey, hey, come on! So early in the morning?"

Lily shares an amused grin with James before turning around; sure enough, Sirius is there, dropping himself on a chair by the table, and searching for any leftover of their breakfast without any shame.

"Good morning to you too, Padfoot," James says, sitting next to Lily, his hand protectively on her back. "Manners, you know?"

"I'm starving, stayed out all night, covering your son's shift—"

"Your godson's shift, you mean?"

"And anyway, you two look like you've already had a great morning. You are glowing, Lils."

"I might be," she admits unashamedly, exchanging another look with James. Sirius rolls his eyes.

"You would think that after twenty years of marriage you two would be over the honeymoon phase—come on, how good the morning sex has to be to let you two in such a good mood?"

Lily laughs. "Morning sex?"

"Yeah, why else would you be smiling so much?"

She looks at James again. They hadn't really discussed this, but she supposes she had assumed they would talk to Harry first... but Harry's travelling and they don't want to mess with his plans, so Sirius might as well hear it first — for the second time.

"We are expecting," she admits. Sirius just keeps spreading butter over his toast.

"Expecting what?"

"A baby, usually," James pops in, his happiness all over his face.

Sirius blinks. And another time. Ten seconds of silence, then his gaze shifts to the calendar on the wall and he laughs.

"HA! You nearly got me there, Prongs."

Lily looks at James, but he just shrugs. "I'm serious."

"No, I'm. Come on, Prongs, you are usually smarter than this."

"Well, it was an unplanned pregnancy," Lily notes, but Sirius ignores her.

"You needed to have laid out hints weeks ago. Lily should mention she is sick—"

"I am sick!"

"She would have said she is gaining weight—"

"I'm not even two months pregnant yet!"

"And you shouldn't have just said like that, so early in the morning, and especially not if a calendar is close by." Sirius shakes his head. "You are getting old, James, you can't plan perfect pranks anymore."

"This is not a prank, Sirius, why—"

"Lily," James calls her quietly, looking at the calendar. "It's April 1st today."

"So?"

"April's Fool." James snorts. "Old Padfoot here thinks we are pranking him."

"The old dog here cannot be fooled. Truly." He stands up. "Wait until I tell Moony about this."

"Oh, please tell him," James says sweetly. "He is to be the godfather."

"See? That's how I know you can't be serious. HA!"

Sirius winks at them, grabs a toast, and turns on the stop, disappearing. Lily turns to James. "How long until he realizes we are speaking the truth?"

"Oh, let's wait. He can be the last one to find out now." He kisses her lips softly before standing up. "Now, how about a fruit salad for your second breakfast? Brunch then? Elevenses?"

[invisibleraven]

"I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified" Reggie x Carrie?? Bonus points if it's Carrie saying it haha

Carrie Wilson is used to people claiming they love her.

Her mother, right before she walked out of their lives, never even sending Carrie a card or a lousy Christmas gift.

Her father before he goes off on tour, or some meditation retreat, or spends two weeks straight in the studio, missing her latest performance.

Nick, in that performative way while parading her around the hallways, power couple of Los Feliz High.

The fans, screaming it from behind their barricades, tossing toys and treats at the stage, only for a flash of her smile.

But none of it's real.

Sure, Carrie had fallen for a few people, but she learned her lesson quickly. Those people who wanted to date her name, her image. But never her. So she swore off guys, off love. She can get by on her own.

She always has.

Then Reggie comes along on her tour; replacing Nick on bass after their disastrous break up that headlined every tabloid from here to New York. Reggie who has a smile that melts like butter, eyes that remind Carrie of springtime, and a sunny personality to match.

Reggie who jokes with the band, but brings her water before she has to find it herself. Who insists she eat, even if it's just a salad while he wolfs down a meatball sub. Who insists that she has to watch the new season of Bridgerton with him, because none of his friends are fans.

Reggie, who finds her in tears after her dad flakes on yet another meet up. Offers her a handkerchief, and sits with her until she's ready to vent, silent and supportive. Then distracts her with stories of his friends back in LA, his MeeMaw and her ranch back in Georgia, and the dogs he wants so badly to adopt just waiting for him. Carrie giggles at that, showing him pictures of her childhood pet, a wrinkled ball of fur that had seen her right up until high school.

Reggie can commiserate with her about parents, though he doesn't say much about his own. "Not playing shitty parent Olympics with you doll, you'll lose." He rubs he hand over his neck, and Carrie can't ignore the small burn mark there, and decides he's probably right. Instead they debate over shitty sci-fi and the newest trends in country music.

But Carrie finds that for every post show chat session, every night she stays up too late writing or rehearsing with Reggie right there keeping her company, her heart starts to flutter. His crooked grin makes her flush and when he winks at her, like the giant flirt he is, she stammers and stumbles.

Fuck

She tries avoiding him, but it seems like he has some sense of where she is, always finding her, with a cookie, or a terrible joke, something to make her light up like the fourth of July. She powerless to turn him away though, so she takes the cookie with a smile, breaking it in half to share. Reggie shoves it into his mouth with a grin, and Carrie knows it's hopeless not to fall for him.

That's why, after her final show, when Reggie greets her with a bouquet of hot pink roses, Carrie bursts into tears. "Oh crap," he swears, "Do you not like roses?"

"I love roses! That's half the problem!" she cries.

"...I'm lost," Reggie admits.

"I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified!" Carrie shouts. "Everyone who I love betrays me, or even worse, they leave me! I couldn't bear it if you..."

"Carrie..." Reggie draws her into his arms, holding her tight. "Look, I care about you...so damn much. I love you in fact. But I know that's no guarantee of anything. Just know, that I have no plans to betray you, and I won't go unless you tell me to. I know that's scary, but maybe... maybe we can be scared together, and let love conquer our fear."

Carrie let out a sniffle, gazing up into his earnest eyes. "I... I think I'm less scared with every moment that you hold me." She wrapped her arms around him tightly, grinning as she buried her face into his chest.

"Then I'm never letting go," Reggie vowed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and swaying them together, neither one unlatching until security had to all but chase them from the venue. But even then, Reggie held her hand in his, standing on the street, a million choices before them.

"Time to be brave?" he asked.

Carrie squeezed his hand in hers, and started pulling him towards her car. "Let's get a late dinner, and see how brave we feel after that."

"With you doll, I don't feel afraid of anything," he replied, letting her lead him onward towards a potentially terrifying, but hopefully loving, future.

[newtonsheffield]

Hello, I'm new around here and I've been reading almost everything you post, I love your AU but my favorite parts are always Benedict and Sophie, they are very cute to me, If it is not too much trouble do you have something on Sophie baking for Benedict?

Ahhhh Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.

Honestly every time this blog gets another follower I wonder what you saw that made you want more. Like 650 of you have seen a post about Michael getting Francesca a dog with a beard because he can't grown one and gone "Yes, this is the content for me." Power to you tbh. Very glad to have you all of course.

I'm actually a little surprised that no one has ever asked for this before!

So here we go, Sophie Beckett + baking for her Boyf

The first time Sophie had done it, she hadn't really thought much of it. She'd been on the dessert station at work, and the head chef had been taking the time to show her a new technique for meringue, when they'd finished the little tutorial Sophie had hesitated, with her little lemon meringue tarts hovering over the bin before the chef had tutted, rolling her eyes and said Take them home to the cute little boy who follows you around everywhere. And Sophie had flushed scarlet, but tucked them away anyway. Ben had picked her up from work later that night, his smile bright when he opened her car door for her, his lips warm as they brushed hers and she'd smiled as she settled against the seat of his car holding out the tart for him, proudly I made you something today. And Ben had stilled, her eyes shining oddly at her for a second before he choked out I love it. Thank you Soph. And something about the look of complete awe on his face had made her want to cook for him all the time.

Sophie loved learning little facts about Benedict. His wants and needs, his likes and dislikes. He liked apple cider and hated pear, he liked walnuts in muffins and banana bread but not by themselves, and he firmly believed that sultanas should never ever be used in baking. She filed all these little facts about him away, desperately holding on to each piece of information, waiting for the opportunity to use it. Surprising him with something each time a new preference was revealed to her. Banana and walnut loaf, cherry pie, raspberry soufflé, littering the counter tops in his kitchen and every time she did it Ben would say You don't have to feed me Sophie. But his eyes would shine and she desperately loved, not only cooking but cooking for him. A tiny little sign of her love left on the counter before she left for the day. I'm putting on so much weight Sophie Ben whined one day when he eyed a peanut butter cookie with such longing that Sophie couldn't help but chuckle. Like I care.

Sophie loved baking for Benedict, any time, any place. But her favourite thing to cook for him, was a birthday cake. She'd never celebrated her birthday until she'd been with Ben, and so maybe it was stupid or childish but she loved them. They were special in her eyes, a day filled with happiness and love and admiration. And so the first year they were together, she spent weeks planning his cake. A seven tier chocolate ganache cake decorated with the characters from his favourite book Little Women as tiny little statues. When she'd finally revealed it at the small gathering they had for his family at his house the room had gone silent. Stunned. And Sophie had panicked, Had she gotten something wrong? Was someone allergic to something? Jesus had his mother bought a cake- Her wild train of thought was cut off by Violet Bridgerton leading a round of applause, when Sophie dared look at him Ben had a tear in his eye, his arms wrapping tightly around her the next minute his voice urgent in his ear. I love you so much, Soph. It's beautiful and Sophie had had to swallow several times to dislodge the lump in her throat as she cut the cake. Oh my God, Sophie Beckett, I'm in love with you. Marry me. Colin Bridgerton said dramatically, his mouth full of cake. Sophie rolled her eyes And what do you think Penelope will have to say about our elopement? She said dryly, Penelope's voice ringing out clearly from across the room seconds later Honestly, Sophie after trying this cake, I don't even mind. And even through the laughter Sophie couldn't help but feel pride burn in her chest when Ben nudged his brother lightly and said Sorry Col, she's taken.

[spicycreativity]

Intertwined - Chapter 4

Chapter: 4/8

Additional Notes: My AO3, WizardGlick, is 3 chapters ahead on this. Critical thinking exercise: Read the following Twin Peaks quote and consider how it related to Intertwined and to post-PoF as a whole:

WINDOM EARLE: What do you fear most in the world?

MAJOR BRIGGS: The possibility that love is not enough.

Chapter Content Warnings: Again, it's a hanahaki fic.

Excerpt: "Here's what I want you to do," Janus said, and his voice was surprisingly tender given the hard look on his face. "Cook for yourself. Don't make something you can take to the others later. Don't make something to share with me. I'm giving you a free pass to be selfish."

Yesterday, Patton supposed, could have gone worse. He had haunted the kitchen after his departure from Janus, begging the mindscape for some sort of hint. Like the answer to all their troubles was lurking in Thomas’ subconscious, just out of reach.

When morning came, he returned to Roman and Logan's rooms, was again rebuffed, and so floated back to the kitchen, made himself some coffee, and sat down at the counter. Again, he reached out with his mind for some kind of reassurance. He had to fix this. There had to be something he could do.

A 5,000 piece puzzle appeared in front of Patton. The image on the box was that of dogs playing poker, captioned A Friend in Need. The subconscious was funny sometimes, in a way that made Patton feel kind of sick and hollow. He opened the box and shook the puzzle pieces put onto the counter. It was a way to pass the time, at least.

A few hours crawled by. Patton’s hands began to shake from the caffeine, and he knew he should eat something, but… It almost didn’t seem worth the effort. He was happy to cook for his fam-ILY, but, when it was just him, what was the point? He put down another edge piece and flinched at the sudden appearance of Virgil in front of the coffee pot. Virgil had made himself scarce after yesterday’s meeting, only reappearing to turn down Patton’s offer of dinner. Patton couldn’t even blame him. How terrible, to wake up after a bad day and find your friends inconsolable and enemies at your door.

“Hi,” Patton said. Finding faux-happiness out of reach, he settled for ‘not completely miserable’ instead.

“Did you eat?” Virgil asked, pouring coffee into a purple mug decorated with this logo.

Patton saw no reason to lie, not about this. “Not yet. I got a little distracted.”

“Mm-hm,” said Virgil.

“Listen,” Patton said, already getting up to make toast. “Are you okay?”

Virgil shrugged and opened up another cabinet. “Want some orange juice?”

"Um, sure." Patton got out the bread and popped a few slices into the toaster. "Thank you."

"No prob." Virgil stood on his toes and got down two glasses, pivoted to the fridge for the orange juice.

"It's just," Patton said, "You don’t seem very upset?" It wasn't that Virgil was necessarily acting upbeat , but… Well, Patton had been expecting something more intense than Virgil's baseline levels of casualty.

"I am," Virgil said. "But I also want orange juice."

"Oh." Patton fell silent. His own feelings were so big and loud in his head they didn't really leave room for anything else. In the light of everything that had happened, Virgil's response felt cold. Patton had half a mind to tell him so, except that… Well, he had no room to talk about 'proper' emotional responses to things. If this was how Virgil wanted to navigate the situation, that was his right. "Did you talk to Roman yesterday?"

"Sorta." Virgil put the orange juice back, scooted a glass to Patton, and took a seat on the counter. "He said he wasn't ready to talk, but might be soon."

"To you?"

"Yeah." Virgil's expression was cloudy. "To me."

"That's a lot," Patton said, treading cautiously. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Virgil's knuckles went white around his glass, so much that Patton was worried he might break it. "Oh, there's plenty I want to say," he said darkly. "To you and to-- to him."

"Janus," Patton said, feeling it important, somehow, to say his name.

"Yeah. To Janus."

"You can," Patton said. "To me. I won't get mad."

"I just don't understand!" Virgil said, the words exploding from his chest. "What did he say to you to make you trust him? After everything he did to Roman, to you, to Thomas! What did he say?" It was almost a plea, "What did he say?"

"I already told you, kiddo," Patton said, poking at the water droplets collecting on the side of his glass, unable to remember that they were called. Logan would know. "I made a choice to trust him."

"But why ?"

"I don't know, I just-- I felt something. I don't know if I can explain it in a way you can understand. I just got it. I understood what it was all for. "

"So, what, he just gets a free pass for treating us all like crap? Just gets to talk his way out of consequences?"

"Well, no." Patton kicked the toes of his loafers against the molding under the counter. "But I don't know that it would do any good to… punish him? Be cold, be mean, yell at him. What's done is done. I'm not asking you to forgive him."

"Good, 'cause I don't."

"But I also need you to understand that I made my choice and I'm committing to it. I…" Patton smiled sadly, gazing at the countertop without really seeing it. "I gave my word, in a way."

"Fine," Virgil growled. "But if he hurts you, if he does what he did to Roman and Logan, I swear, I swear--" Patton covered his ears briefly and Virgil seemed to get the message. "Well. I'll avenge you."

"Thanks, Virgil." Patton smiled again, happier this time, and looked Virgil in the face. It really wasn't all that long ago that he had thought of Virgil as an enemy. And now look at them. "I'm proud of you, you know."

"You are?"

"Of course I am! You've been a really good friend to, to all of us. And I'm so happy--"

"Stop," Virgil said, pulling up his hood. "Stop, stop, stop."

"Aw, did I make you blush?" Patton teased.

"Yeah," Virgil said, his voice breaking on that one syllable. He cleared his throat. "Let's not-- I'm gonna--"

"Is something wrong?" Patton asked, already reaching out for a hug. Virgil couldn't see him with his face buried in his hood, so Patton stopped short and let his arms fall to his sides.

"I just, uh." Virgil took a deep breath and let it out in a huff, swept his hood back with a jerky motion. "Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve all this."

"Oh, kiddo, of course you do!" Patton said, again holding out his arms for a hug. Virgil instead held out his hand, and Patton took it in his own, determined to communicate all the love and devotion he could through that simple contact. He smiled at the matching weave of their friendship bracelets, smiled at the memory of sitting side-by-side with Virgil as they both struggled with five-strand braids.

Virgil nodded, and his breathing was still shaky and spastic when he said, "I'm gonna go-- I'm not going off to cry all by myself, if, uh, if you're worried about that. I just need… Uh. Yeah."

Patton nodded, hurriedly snatching the half-cooked toast from the toaster and imagining it smeared with Crofter’s and butter, arranged neatly on a plate. "Okay!" He said with false cheer, passing the plate to Virgil. "Come get me if you need anything! Maybe we can watch Ghost Adventures tonight."

"Sounds good," Virgil said, slightly muffled around his hand, as he was chewing at his thumbnail. "Later." He sank out.

Patton sighed and stared at their untouched orange juice glasses. Even when he was trying to fix things, he made people upset.

A drop of water slid down the side of Virgil's glass, pooled on the countertop. Patton stared at it as another followed.

What did it truly mean to deserve something, anyway? It was something Janus would probably have an opinion on. He seemed to have opinions on most things. Maybe Patton could ask him in a bit.

“Did you need me for something?

Oh, okay, or Patton could ask him now. He turned, unsmiling to Janus. It wasn’t that he wasn’t cheered by Janus’ presence, but that he had no reason to lie. Janus had made it abundantly clear that he wasn't depending on Patton for anything. “Sorry,” he said, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to steal you.”

“No harm, no foul,” Janus said, and sighed so heavily his breath displaced a few puzzle pieces. “As you can see, I was hard at work.” Despite this claim, he wore a hard, annoyed expression and Patton remembered with a sinking feeling in his stomach that he was dealing with a liar. "Did you need help with your puzzle?" Janus asked.

Just like that, Patton's heart leapt. "You'll stay?"

Janus shrugged. "I suppose I can clear a space in my schedule."

Patton stood to get him some coffee. The pot was empty, but it was simple enough to imagine it full again. Ordinarily, he disliked the laziness of misusing Thomas' imagination, but he couldn't deny that it was convenient sometimes. He could tell he was on the brink of annoying Janus (somehow) and didn't want to risk pushing him over the edge. "Have you eaten?"

"Have you?" Janus asked, side-eyeing the remaining slices of toast sitting in the toaster. Patton had forgotten all about them.

"I guess it slipped my mind," Patton turned around and set a coffee mug on the counter in front of Janus, then rounded it to sit down again. He tried not to notice that Janus had scooted his chair away from Patton's, that he leaned on his elbow so they were even farther apart.

"Hm," said Janus, making a face. He didn't push it, and Patton was grateful for that. "Oh, and thank you."

"Of course," Patton said.

He watched Janus for a moment. He handled the puzzle pieces with difficulty, his gloves impeding his ability to pick them up. When he realized he was staring, he turned away and started fitting more edge pieces into place.

He couldn't decide if the quiet was pleasant or awkward. It was kind of nice, kind of domestic, sitting here with Janus, but he couldn't help but feel a kind of tension in the air.

Then Janus turned away and started coughing. Patton reached out to put a hand on his back, caught himself, pulled away. The deep, jagged sound made him cringe. He was no stranger to coughing fits, none of them were, brought on by Thomas' cat allergy. But this had come out of nowhere.

"You okay?" Patton asked when Janus resurfaced. Maybe he was just projecting, but he thought Janus looked a little pale on his human side.

"It's warmer today, isn't it?" Janus said, not looking at Patton.

"Huh?"

"It's not as cold. Roman seems to have gotten ahold of himself somewhat."

"Um, yeah, I guess." Patton furrowed his brow, trying to get a good look at Janus. "But Janus, are you okay?"

"Fine," said Janus. "Just inhaled some coffee, that's all."

But his hands shook as he slid a blue puzzle piece down the counter, and Patton was already halfway out of his seat before he even realized what he was doing. "You know, I think I will make breakfast."

"A little late now," Janus said. "By the way, did you really call me all the way down here just to work on a puzzle?"

"So brunch, then," Patton said. "And to be honest, no."

"Oh, do be honest," Janus said, leaning against the counter and resting his chin in his palm.

But Patton's priorities had shifted beyond philosophical debate. He had to take care of Janus now, get him comfortable, get him honest. He had to. "It's not important anymore."

"Hm," said Janus. He cleared his throat quietly, winced. "Well, now I'm not curious at all."

"It's okay," Patton said, trying for a reassuring smile. "We can talk about it later." He spun around, trying to decide what to make. Toast sounded wholly unappealing now, and he should choose something that would be easy on Janus' throat--

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing, by the way," Janus said.

"Making brunch?" Patton said with faux-innocence.

"Mm-hm. And what did you have in mind?"

"Soup."

"Patton," Janus said in a chastising tone. "I don't need you to take care of me. I need you to take care of you."

"That cough sounded like it hurt," Patton said, defeated.

Janus sat back and spread his arms out as though to show himself to Patton. "It did. It went away on its own. I'm fine."

Patton wasn't sure what to say to that. He scratched at his friendship bracelets, embarrassed. "Oh."

"Here's what I want you to do," Janus said, and his voice was surprisingly tender given the hard look on his face. "Cook for yourself. Don't make something you can take to the others later. Don't make something to share with me. I'm giving you a free pass to be selfish."

"But that's wrong!" Patton said reflexively. He regretted it as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but it wasn't like he could take them back. "Not for you," he hastened to explain. "That's your job. But me?"

"I can't very well be selfish for you," Janus said. He seemed annoyed, digging his fingers into both sides of his midriff in a way that looked decidedly painful. "Just try it. It won't be the end of the world."

And Patton wanted to. He didn't want to let Janus down, but… Where did it end? Where did it stop?

"Patton," Janus said. "I can see you catastrophizing."

"Sorry," said Patton, feeling close to tears. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. I just… I don't know who I am or what I want or if I'm even allowed to want."

"Breakfast, Patton. That's all. One little thing."

"Okay," Patton took a deep breath. Calm down. Make food. He could do that.

"There's nothing else," Janus said. "Just us, right now. Just this room. No consequences."

"Okay," Patton said. Cinnamon rolls. He wanted mini cinnamon rolls.

"Good," said Janus. "You're okay." He cleared his throat again, coughed a little behind closed lips. Patton forced himself not to notice, knowing that it would make Janus annoyed if he pointed it out or tried to help.

"I hope so," Patton muttered, half to himself, as he got his ingredients together. A phrase popped into his head and he shouted it out impulsively, "Mise en place!"

"Bless you?" Janus said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, no." Patton smiled. "Getting all your ingredients together. Mise en place."

"Ah," said Janus. He smiled too, his human eye crinkling at the corner. Patton almost sighed at the sight. Janus seemed to hold himself above human standards sometimes. He presented himself as something cold and pure, unbreakable and untouchable and utterly perfect. There was something so beautiful about seeing him step down from the pedestal. Janus seemed to notice Patton staring and turned away, surprisingly demure. "How about some music?"

A turntable appeared on the counter, spinning something inoffensive and charmingly lo-fi. "That's nice," Patton said. He didn't recognize the artist, but it didn't really matter. The music seemed to slide into the cracks of their conversation, filling out the empty spaces and projecting calm throughout the kitchen.

So Patton made cinnamon rolls and Janus worked on the puzzle while he sipped his coffee, and they both pretended not to notice the ragged coughs that Janus couldn't bury under the music no matter how hard he tried.

[hookedonapirate]

Trick or Treat

A/N: It feels so great to post again. I've been in a writing slump for several weeks now, so I wanted to write something short and sweet to get the writing juices flowing. Thank you @hollyethecurious for your ideas for the premise and @darkcolinodonorgasm for Killian’s costume!

Rated: Teen and up for mature language

“Well, that’s disturbing.” Emma grimaces at the zombie gnome with gnarly teeth, reaching out with dirt and blood covered hands like he's coming out of the ground to get them. Even though it's not real, the graphics are enough to give a kid nightmares.

 “That’s so cool, Mommy!”

 Well, any kid who’s not her seven-year-old son that is. Henry runs down the sidewalk, his oversized hat falling off his head. He’s a ball of energy most days, but tonight, he’s extra energetic, and he hasn’t even had any candy yet.

 “Kid, your hat!” She follows after him, picking up his hat from the winding walkway which is lined with jack-o'-lanterns on each side. But as she passes each one, she’s surprised when she realizes these aren’t just typical jack-o'-lanterns with a mouth, nose and eyes carved into them. No, these are intricately crafted jack-o'-lanterns. One is carved into a haunted house, one is a graveyard full of ghosts, another looks like a skull from afar, but up close, it appears to be carved into long stem mushrooms and grass. Her favorite is the pumpkin carving that mimics a scene from the Nightmare Before Christmas. 

 Like seriously, who has time to carve out all these pumpkins? And why weren’t the Jack-o'-lanterns on display as she had seen at the Night of 1,000 Jack-o'-lanterns at the Chicago Botanic Garden? Whoever carved these has some ridiculous artistic talent. They are also way too into Halloween, because their yard is all decked out. There are games set up on tables in the yard, skeletons and ghosts hanging from the trees and tombstone yard signs all over. 

 As she walks up the steps to the house, fake fog sweeps around her feet, the porch is covered in fake cobwebs with large spiders and the porch railing is lined with decorated jars, “potions”, skulls and other Halloween themed knickknacks. She laughs at the potion bottle labeled, “love potion.” When she reaches the door, which is wide open, a group of kids in cute costumes gathered around waiting for treats, she’s expecting the three looney witches from Hocus Pocus to emerge from the house. 

 When a man in a black top hat, tailcoat and a cane appears through the door with a bowl full of candy, she realizes how wrong she is. 

 Boy, is she wrong.

 Holy shit, he’s gorgeous. His skin looks ghostly white from the makeup on his face and he's wearing a brown curly mustache, but those vivid blue eyes are so very blue, even in the dark and under the hat he’s wearing. She’s afraid those eyes will set her on fire when he looks at her.

 “Trick or treat!” the children chorus. 

 Emma can’t take her eyes off the man as he excitedly hands out candy.

 “I love your costume, lassie,” he compliments a little girl who's wearing an Elsa costume.

 He has an accent? Holy hell.

 The little girl frowns, clearly not understanding what he meant by lassie. “I’m not a dog, I’m Elsa.”

 He chuckles, dropping a candy bar into her pumpkin bucket. “My apologies, Elsa. Please don’t blast me with ice.”

 “Thank you, mister,” she says cheerfully before scurrying down the steps to meet her parents at the end of the walkway. 

 “Trick or treat!”

 The man looks toward the small voice, seeing Henry approaching him. He grins big and wide, which makes him look much creepier than he already looks in his costume. Creepy, but sexy. “Well, hi there. Captain Hook, I presume?”

 Henry nods his head and opens his Halloween sack, using his plastic hook to hold one of the straps.

 “Very nice costume, lad. My favorite one so far.”

 “Thank you. I made it,” Emma boasts with a smile as she steps behind her son, placing the hat on his head. She’s not normally one to brag, but then again bragging doesn’t normally afford her the opportunity to talk to ridiculously handsome strangers.

 The man looks up, and when his eyes finally connect with hers, he completely steals her breath. She was wrong. His smoldering blue eyes don’t set her on fire, but they do make her melt.

 And his heavy stare makes her skin tingle.

 “You made this lovely costume?”

 She waves her hand nonchalantly. “It was easy. Just took a red, long-sleeved shirt, some ribbon and slapped some red felt and white feathers on a straw hat and voila.”

 “Very impressive, lass.” He glances at her shirt briefly before returning his eyes to hers. “Did you also make your costume?” he asks, his eyes dancing with mirth. He must have been referring to her red leather jacket and white t-shirt that reads, “This IS my Halloween costume.”

 Emma laughs. “No, I bought it on Amazon.” 

 “Wow, Mom, check this out! Full-size candy bars!” Henry shouts excitedly when the stranger deposits the candy bar into his sack.

 Emma tears her eyes from this man’s mesmerizing blue ones to see the full-size Snickers bar Henry’s holding out to show her. “Huh, people actually do give out full-size candy bars.” She looks up at the man. “I’m impressed. Let me guess, you also carved those pumpkins, too?” she asks, pointing to the pumpkins in his yard.

 He nods with a small smile. “I did. You’d be amazed by what I can do with these hands,” he says smugly.

 Emma wants to roll her eyes, but she can’t deny she very much wishes to find out exactly what he can do with those hands. Instead, she flashes a sarcastic smirk. “So who are you supposed to be, Jack the Ripper?” 

 He chuckles. “Not quite. I’m a gentleman from the Victorian Era. A devilishly handsome gentleman, may I add.”

 She cocks a brow, laughter bubbling in her throat. “If by a  devilishly handsome gentleman, you mean creepy.”

 He sets down the candy bowl and surprises her when he takes her hand in his and lowers his head, murmuring softly as he looks up at her. “The name’s Killian Jones. And it just so happens, I’m always a gentleman. Not just on Halloween.” His touch sears her skin, then he presses his lips to the back of her hand and it feels like electrical currents are surging through her. Her breath catches, and she’s worried he will notice. Judging by the smirk spreading across her skin, he definitely noticed.

 Emma turns her head, looking for her son, whom she spots in the yard playing games with the other kids, their parents supervising them. “I should get back to my son.”

 This man actually pouts as he releases her hand. And it’s freaking adorable. “I told you my name and yet you haven't told me yours?”

 She bites her bottom lip, contemplating whether she should or not. But then again, what’s the harm? It is a small town, so they’ll probably end up running into each other again at some point. “It’s Emma.”

 He grins, making her heart melt. “Nice to meet you, Emma.”

 “Likewise.” 

 He scratches behind his ear, which makes him look less creepy and even more adorable. “I’ve never seen you before. Are you new in town?”

 “I’m from Chicago.”

 “Well, love, welcome to Storybrooke.”

  Oh. Now he’s calling her love? Can this man get any sexier? Jesus Christ. “Thank you.” She gives him a shy smile and turns to head down the steps.

 “Wait. Before you go, I have a treat for you, too.” 

 She spins around, arching her brow. “Oh, that’s okay. Henry will share some of his candy with me.”

 He chuckles and shakes his head. “This treat is not for kids.”

 Emma gulps. “What kind of treat did you have in mind?” Something salty? Her mind definitely did not go into the gutter there. Okay, it totally did. 

 He heads inside, then returns not a moment later with a caramel apple. 

 “A caramel apple?” She almost sounds disappointed. But she’s definitely not.

 “Aye, but not just any caramel apple. It’s an adult caramel apple. So make sure you don’t share this with your lad.”

 She eyes it suspiciously. “It’s not laced with love potion, is it?”

 He chuckles and leans closer, whispering in her ear. “No. But it is laced with cannabis-infused butter.”

 Emma smirks as she takes the caramel apple. “Wow, you really go all out on Halloween, don’t you?”

 He shrugs. “You should come back around Christmas.”

 “Oh God, you’re not one of those people who goes completely crazy with the Christmas lights and the decorations and Santa and his reindeer on the roof, are you?”

 He shrugs again, donning a smirk. “Guess you’ll have to wait and find out.”

 “Is that an invitation?” Because she's definitely not thinking about inviting him to get high and engage in hot, sweaty sex with her. Not at all.  

 “Perhaps. Do you and your son enjoy hot cocoa and watching Christmas movies in front of a cozy fireplace?”

 She eyes the caramel apple and then glances up at him. “Does Santa enjoy adult cookies with his milk?”

 His grin widens, making her heartbeat skyrocket out of her chest. “Aye, then it’s a date.”

 Emma rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. “Not a date.” She doesn’t like the idea of waiting until Christmas to see him again, though.

 His face clouds with guilt. Sorry, love, I just didn't see a wedding ring on your finger so I assumed-”

 “I'm not married,” she clarifies, her cheeks flushing because of the fact that he was curious enough to check her hand for a ring. “Nor do I have a boyfriend. I'm single.” Very single. She's never been so glad to be single before.

 He sighs in relief, which gives her the courage to say what's on her mind and to thankfully change the subject.

 “You know, adult cookies aren’t just for Christmas...”

 He cocks his brow, and good Lord, she really needs him to stop doing that, because it’s doing things to her breathing and her heart. “No? What other special occasions are they for?”

 She shrugs. “Like a Saturday night, say next week when my parents are taking Henry for the weekend.”

 His eyes flash with something she can only describe as excitement. Or anticipation, maybe? “But still not a date, right?”

 She shakes her head. “Nope, just two adults enjoying their adult cookies.” 

 He laughs. “Okay, I’ll bring the apple cider.”

 “Sounds like a date,” she says accidentally when she had meant to say Sounds like a plan. But she doesn't even bother correcting herself as her cheeks warm with blush. She backs away and manages to rip her eyes from him to turn around and head down the steps. She finds Henry playing a game with the kids and takes his hand, telling him it’s getting late. He leaves with a groan but doesn't make a fuss. 

 As they leave the yard, Emma turns around, getting one last glimpse of the devilishly handsome Victorian gentleman. He winks and smiles at her, making her heart stutter, and she blushes and walks away as she leaves with her son.

  She had doubts when she moved to this small town to start over, but the warm feeling in her chest is telling her perhaps coming to Storybrooke wasn't a bad idea after all.

Tagging a few people who might be interested in reading:

@kmomof4 @teamhook @ilovemesomekillianjones @onceuponaprincessworld @artistic-writer @nikkiemms @snowbellewells @donteattheappleshook @itsfabianadocarmo​ @searchingwardrobes​ @melly326​