#prep school blues spoiler

[lily-alphonse]

thoughts on haley x abigail?? 💛💜

Haligaillllll I have to plug maxRebo again with Things We Dont Say on AO3 it's the sequel to a fantastic SebAlex fic I loved.

We love Haligail, who wouldn't love Haligail? This is one of the least rare ones I've done so far according to AO3 . I haven't looked each one up I've done, but I was curious since punk/prep seem like they'd be popular.

Anyways how would I handle this? Spoiler alert Ive gotta make it rivals to lovers OBVIOUSLY it's just too good to pass up.

Let’s say they went to high school together and ran in different circles (obviously). Abigail looked down on Haley for being a preppy dumb blonde prioritizing boys over school.

Haley for her part was learning very quickly that girls couldn’t be trusted, with all of the shit they talked behind her back. So she definitely wasn't going to think fondly of a sullen girl like Abby, who would just glare at her for no reason.

But its years later now. Abby has returned home from college to attend remotely. She’s grown confident and developed a sense of style. It’s still dark and moody and she loves a skull motif, but she clearly takes more care in her appearance than in high school. Oh… and she’s a proud lesbian now.

She’s annoyed to be back in this bumfuck town but her dad threatened to cut her funding if she didn’t come back to help with the shop at least one semester. Haley comes into the shop and its tense. Abby hates feeling subservient to her like this, wearing the stupid fucking apron dad insists she wears while she’s helping out. It puts her in a weird headspace like she’s in high school again.

It’s nice to be back with her boys though, the regular gig practices fun. They even decide to throw a little party to perform at. It’s exhilarating and she’s in her element until she sees Haley. It’s like, somehow, the old Abby exists in Haley and she fucking hates it. She wants to purge Haley’s memories of that weird quiet girl in high school. She wants Haley to understand she is more confident than the queen bee ever was at her peak.

Everyone settles in on the floor for a drinking game and SHE is there of course, looking stupidly hot and just… generally stupid. “Who invited you?” Abby snaps as Haley sits down near her.

“Hello, Abigail,” she sips her drink innocently, “that’s how normal people start conversations anyway.”

Abby scoffs, fighting the fluster with anger. “Yeah, avoid the question that’s fine.”

Sebastian settles between them, attempting to block the electric tension between them with his body. Great deal of good that does though, since one of the very first dares sees Alex daring Haley and Abby to Seven Minutes in Heaven.

“What the fuck, Alex?!” Haley hisses. She seems embarrassed. Abby likes seeing her flustered for once.

“Aw she’s afraid to touch the lesbian! She might catch it,” Abby teases.

Haley glares at her with a fire behind her blue eyes. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Alright,” Abby smiles, “Prove it.”

And so they get sloppy in the closet and it’s hot and awesome and the seven minutes runs out too fast. Abby decides she craves this power over Haley and chases it. Being glared at with lust in her eyes is better than being looked down on.

They have a back and forth of sneaking around, while Haley comes to terms with her sexuality and they grow closer. It’s always just hatefucking until its not, because Abby discovers how actually self-conscious and lonely Haley is. And how this toxic fling is the closest thing she has to love. She’s clinging to it like a liferaft but it’s just making her sink even further. Abby recognizes the damage she’s caused and decides to cut things off.

Something brings them back together though, obv. Hmmm.

Maybe Alex ends up cornering her and telling Abby just how much she means to Haley and how maybe instead of abandoning her like everyone else, she could just be an actual partner to her and treat her like she knows she should be treated.

Which all culminates in a very sweet scene of Abby coming back to Haley and apologizing. And I want it to tie back into the party like

“I also want to apologize,” Abby says, wiping her eyes, “for leaving you hanging a few months ago. When you said hi.”

“Abby…”

“Can we go back to that? Can we roll it back? I want to say hi, it’s nice to see you.”

Haley laughs through her tears. “It's nice to see you too.” She takes Abby’s hand and squeezes.

Oh and Abby would prbly take to calling Haley Blondie or something. Starts out as kind of an insult and then just a term of endearment. Anyways,

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[klug]

So Puyo Puyo Puzzle Pop is out and I see a lot of theories going around… This is half a self-indulgent post for me and half a poorly thrown together essay reviewing Sig and Aya's and the blue soul and the crimson soul's, relationship to each other. because boy is it a bit of a complex web. @_@

Some people were talking about their relationship today in EPPC, and I'm bad at talking to people, so I decided to put my thoughts in a post + touch on some misconceptions (I guess?) around since the game just came out and it relies on knowing information presented in extra material like the audio dramas and the (sega) novels.

And of course, spoilers for the first 4 main routes of Puzzle Pop.

some quick bullet points before I start… you can skip this if youre fairly familiar with fever 2, tetris 2, and the novels

is Aya possessing Sig?!

how did Sig's power get unleashed by Meena? are they super ultra powerful??

no, Aya is clearly still imprisoned safely contained in the tome of sealing, so it probably isn't behind this. We also know in Lidelle's route that it and Klug were having some kind of argument after he ran into Sig.

Well, in the game, Lemres establishes that Meena normally is not that powerful… Rather, it's been a bit implied over the course of the games that his powers have been growing stronger, so I think that it's more that Meena broke down a dam that was already barely holding itself together… a brief timeline…

Puyo Puyo Fever 2 - Sig transfers to Primp Magic School and his hand suddenly turns red. This can presumably be linked to his proximity to the tome of sealing. Akuma attempts to prevent further resonation by using the Ito Hairito enchantment. Attempts at "curing" his hand are touched on in Puyo Puyo! 15th Anniversary

Sig's Secret happens a bit before Puyo Puyo!! 20th Anniversary, and he has the incident of his powers being awakened by Witch's potion. This is the first time we actually see the "Demon part" of him take over, and it turned both of his eyes red when this happened. (src)

Puyo Puyo Tetris 2 - Sig and Klug are protected by a certain power from being influenced by Marle when she's causing mayhem in Primp Town. The crimson spirit was potentially protecting Klug in this situation, but what about Sig? I theorize that his own demon powers, which have been growing stronger, actually protected him as well. (Lemres' substory, PPT2)

Puyo Puyo Puzzle Pop - Sig befriends Meena and offers to share some of his power. This seems to open the floodgates and allow the demon parts of him to take over.

fun fact: The words for "arm" and "hand" are the same in Japanese, so a lot of fans were actually surprised when they saw that his entire arm is red and not just his hand when his art in 20th came out.

Now, with those bullet points out of the way… the meat of this post is focusing more on Sig and Aya/Strange Klug/Possessed Klug/Crimson Spirit/Whatever name you want to call its relationship.

I think most people take the text in the games at face value, though the editing choices in translation don't really help I guess...the first instance of "red power" being translated as "evil power" will never be forgiven, but it's okay since Lemres and Schezo get it right--. I see a lot of people think that Aya is somehow influencing Sig in this story, but it has been established that Sig has the potential to tap into the full power that Aya probably wants access back to in Sig's Secret when Witch's power potion spills on him.

Back then, Sig and Amitie's friendship, and really any of his friendships, weren't very well-defined. However, she was able to bring him back by reminding him of their friendship...

Hey, Sig! …Let’s go back to café prep, alright!? I mean, Raffina’s gonna be super mad if you don’t show up! And then Klug’s gonna go all sarcastic on you again! Do you want that!? And, and, we haven’t even figured out what to put on the menu for our Special yet! If you really want me to, I’ll let you put whipped cream, for real!” I just kept screaming one thing after another as it came to me. Please, please, please… Please, let Sig hear my voice! “Please, come back to us! I promise, we all love you, so, so much! And I know, I know that deep inside, you really, really want to stay with us, too…!”

(src)

He manages to regain control of himself though clearly Amitie reminding him of everything isn't working in Puzzle Pop.

I kind of resummarized the climax of Sig's Secret because it felt important to contextualize his behavior, how its different in Puzzle Pop, and how people tend to conclude that "he must be possessed by Aya" as the first thought in Puzzle Pop. I also did this, though it was because I watched the routes out of order (lol). The behavior of this not!Sig is reckless, power-hungry, very very very gloating (just read the novel), and doesn't see any importance in friendships when it comes to Amitie and Meena (Lemres' route in Puzzle Pop). Meanwhile Aya, who has a very clear outlined goal of getting Sig back is…generally levelheaded, calm, and although angry about its situation, doesn't always charge straight for Sig whenever it's unsealed ("Amitie and Lidelle's Primp Tour", Puyo Puyo!! Quest story mode, etc.) So I think the binary the game presents of Aya being "evil" and Sig being "not evil" is not necessarily true considering how unreliable the narration of the "tome of sealing" is. I find it more accurate to say that they're power/impulse and control/logic, or you could argue they're a conscious and an unconscious.

I theorize that a piece of their original power lies dormant in Sig, and it is this power that Aya specifically wants back because it's…pretty powerless in its current form. This power, possibly the "crimson power", drives the "blue soul" in Sig a bit power hungry when its unleashed, and it has no conscious to control it because the "crimson soul" isn't in the vessel. I also think Sig and the "blue soul" are separate entities to an extent.

“Stop talking… Be quiet, just shut up! Gh… With every word you say, the voice in my head, it…GAAAAHHHH…!” “A voice, in your head? T-That’s gotta be Sig! Hey!! Sig!! If you can hear me, say something!”

(src)

The best comparison I have to this situation is Cinderpelt's reincarnation into Cinderheart in the book series Warriors. Cinderheart inherited Cinderpelt's soul after the latter's death, but because Cinderheart's grown to have her own experiences and is a separate entity while Cinderpelt lay dormant in their mind, they will separate in death. I think this "copilot"-ish situation is the case with Sig and it's why they're vying for control a second time in Puyo Puyo Puzzle Pop.

I think that's why not!Sig is so "evil" and also gives people the impression that it might be Aya -- considering I also thought this -- though it's probably not the case since this story follows a similar formula to Sig's Secret with some tweaks to reflect a lot of subtle character growth, which is the subject of the next section.

Now, people might ask…why aren't Sig's eyes red and his hair dark like they were in Sig's Secret? Well, I think this is due to texture limitations for one, but I also think this is a sign of Sig's personal identity growing stronger over the course of the games. He has relationships he wants to hold onto, his own experiences, his own life, so he wouldn't just easily give up control of his physical vessel, even if he hasn't been speaking as himself in Puzzle Pop so far… This story's already done a lot with establishing Sig as a character and the importance of his relationship with Amitie, and he hasn't even actually spoken, which I find impressive. I also just like that all this stuff is only clear if you pay attention to the steady build up of the stories from the past few years… well, they were just breadcrumbs, I guess...Listen I've been following this plotline for 7-8 years and its been in the works for like 13? So you have to forgive me for feeling happy about having all the pieces of the puzzle.

As for what this means for the role Aya/the crimson spirit will play in the story… I'm not sure. I honestly don't expect it to appear at all since all the models/animations are recycled from Puyo Puyo Chronicle with some touch ups save for Meena. It has been referenced though, and the profiles in-game go in-depth on who it was and is, but I can't say if it'll actually make a fully story appearance…Especially since Klug was relegated to a side story role. Which is fine, I don't really care despite my URL. it was a good story. I do however expect this story to shed a lot of light on the relationship between the Sig, blue soul, and the crimson soul once its complete. I haven't even touched on my personal interpretation of Amitie and her hat, so maybe I'll make another post about that in the future? I think her situation is meant to parallel Sig's, but I'll save that for another time if people are interested...

As usual some of this is my interpretation, but everything I sourced is real and true and I'd never lie to you, etc.

Misc. Fun Stuff

These were things I liked about Aya and Sig's imagery/motifs but I wasn't able to fit into the post concisely.

not!Sig uses the same pronouns as Aya, 我 (wa) and お前 (omae), though they're written in hiragana as opposed to Aya's kanji. This is actually why I thought he was possessed because I walked into a stream in the middle of Ringo's route, haha.

My theory of Aya and Sig being a conscious and an unconscious are actually inspired by one of Aya's spells anima. Now in Latin this really just means "soul" which is fine, but in Jungian psychology the anima and animus are a dualistic archetype…which is cool, though this would potentially mean the crimson spirit is the unconscious part, haha! Technically they'd align more with Freud's concept of an id and a superego as I explained them, but I always like pointing out the possible Jungian reading of Aya's spell Yes, I realize I'm grasping for straws

[ririya-translates]

Suzu Orimaki's Story

Huge apologies at how delayed this post has been. This is Suzu's concept art short story (original). It was written by Shin Towada (lead game writer) with concept art by Lownine.

I had another version posted earlier to Twitter closer to Suzu's birthday (Jan 19) but it was a difficult time for me so I wanted to post the cleaned up version @otomemories so kindly helped me out with editing. Please check out her NejiKisa doujin translations! This story takes place before the first play so spoilers are quite minimal.

A young man is brought to the gates of Univeil by an image of true radiance he once saw shining on its stage. He is guided by this brilliant aura until this moment when the theater he has so admired stands before his very eyes.

The sun’s rays beam down heavily on him, as if piercing through the bright blue sky. He leans against the railing, his body bathing in warm light. His name is Suzu Orimaki and he’s a brand new student at Univeil Drama School.

The weather is as sunny and lively as Suzu himself. He has always had an eye-catching brightness to him- one strong enough to make him stand out from his fellow Quartz classmates just by being there. His exuberant energy alone is enough to earn him a promising new future as a Jack. After a long day of grueling classes, he has finally earned himself a break.

“This place really is amazing…” Suzu mutters to no one in particular with a slight turn of his head. Towering above him is a large art fixture. At Univeil Drama School’s all-boys dormitories, every class resides in a separate dorm, each designed with a distinctly different style by various well-known artists. The unique features of each class are conveyed through architecture that overflows with imagination, and of course, the Quartz dorm is no exception. The outer glass walls can be seen filled to the brim with sunlight, and near the top of the building stands the Quartz namesake, an enormous crystal designed to look as if it were piercing the heavens. Suzu enjoys the rooftop not only because it grants him the ability to spot other people, but also for its brilliant view of the entire city that his campus resides in- Tamasaka, built halfway up the side of Mt. Oodate.

“Another busy day today…”

A winding downward path stretches from the school to the station. It’s filled with a mixture of shops and restaurants, as well as time-worn buildings shadowing the city’s days as an old post town-- relics of a bygone era. A town like this entices not only residents, but also thousands of tourists flocking to see the city's symbol, The Tamasaka Troupe. Of course, Univeil is considered a part of this as well.

Long ago, Suzu himself had made the long climb from the station up this hill to see a Univeil performance. His vision shifts from the town back to the campus’s theater.

“.....”

Suzu backs off of the railing, pushes against the ground with the tip of his left foot, and then smoothly spins around. After happily surveying the scenery, his face tightens and a powerful voice comes from his lips.

“All right!” Pushing his toes up against the ground, Suzu waves his arms high above his head. As his feet hit the floor, the momentum gives his powerful steps a burst of energy. Jumping, falling, jumping, falling… a rhythm begins to form. In the back of Suzu’s mind, he visualizes the dance moves an older student demonstrated for him. Doing his best to recreate it, Suzu continues to dance. However…

“Ahh! It’s no use!” Suzu grasps his head in his hands and arcs himself backwards. He just can’t seem to get his movements to match correctly.

“Hah… I really can’t figure this out without him. But we’re running out of time until the newcomers' performance…” Suzu leans against the railing once more, this time with his head held low.

Univeil holds five performances a year. In the first one, the Newcomer's Performance, first-year students are required to take the stage as leads. In less than two months of prep time, he would be standing on the Univeil stage- the very same stage that once enraptured him from the audience.

“I’m not gonna lose to something like this!” Suzu screams while forcibly extending his drooped body.

“Wha-!?” Someone meets his shout with a surprised gasp.

“Hmm? That voice…” He bends down over the railing, leaning down to take a look at the person gazing up towards him. Their eyes collide.

“Yonaga! I thought it was you! Hey!”

“Hey, Suzu.” It’s another one of his fellow Quartz first-years. Soshiro Yonaga’s face softens as he looks up at Suzu. He is the type of person to face anything and everything with complete seriousness; his vivid imagination allows him to delve deeply into his creativity, but he often struggles with caring too much about trivial things. To Suzu, he's a classmate and a familiar face.

“Oh, are you by yourself, Suzu?” He asks as if looking for someone.

“If you’re looking for him, he’s not here.”

“Ah, I see. He wasn’t in the practice room, so I thought maybe he’d be out here with you.” The conversation continues without either of them ever specifying the name of the person in question, but they both know that they are thinking of the same person. He’s another Quartz first year with a delicate demeanor that’s the polar opposite of Suzu’s. He has the full potential to become a Jeanne. The three of them were often together as a trio.

Yonaga is his childhood friend who always seems to be worried about him no matter how busy things get. Unfortunately, Yonaga's attempts to help often end in him being helped instead which often upsets him. Suzu, on the other hand, sees this person as a partner in crime who always encourages him when they're paired up together as Jack and Jeanne. Even the dance Suzu did just moments ago was meant to be performed with another person at his side. More than anything, it's a friendship where they can inspire each other to improve. After thinking about Yonaga’s words for a moment, Suzu remembers something.

“Oh, right! He went to the music room.”             “He did?” Yonaga asks, subtly pressing for more details.

“Yeah, for singing practice! Man, he’s incredible…no way I could hit notes that high! He’s different even from the other Jeannes!”

“Uhh, y-yeah…” Praise for his childhood friend seems to make Yonaga uncomfortable.

“How’s it going on your end? With practice and stuff?” Upon hearing the conversation be redirected towards himself, Yonaga’s head suddenly droops like a wilted flower.

“Otori… was saying a bunch of things again today.” “What? You too!?” “Huh? He talked to you as well, Suzu?” Otori is yet another young man who shares both their year and class. He is one of Quartz’s top students, but during rehearsal, he is as critical and irritable as he is handsome.

“Man, he sure is sharp…”

“The things he says are definitely accurate, but he always says them so harshly…” Yonaga seems to take Otori’s criticisms far too seriously for his own good.

“Don’t worry too much about it, man! Just think about how good it will feel to prove him wrong! You’ve got this!” Upon hearing Suzu’s encouraging words, Yonaga lifts his head.

“You’re right. I’ll go practice too.”

“Alright!” Suzu exclaims with energy as he watches Yonaga walk away with fresh determination, finally able to return to his solo practice after the change of pace. Batteries recharged and full of newfound energy, he decides to take in one last glance at the rooftop view before heading back to the dance room.

“Hmm?” Suzu narrows his eyes at another student making his way to the dorm. There’s no mistaking it-- it’s the friend that he and Yonaga were referring to earlier. But he isn't alone; standing off to the side is a tall boy donning the same uniform. It’s none other than his nemesis, Otori, who upon noticing his friend, quickly starts walking in that direction. Suzu has a bad feeling about this.

“That jerk…” With a strong push off the railing, he leaves the rooftop and flies down the stairs towards the dorm. His friend, walking while deep in thought, has yet to notice Otori, who is just a few steps away from closing the distance between them. “Heeey!” Suzu’s loud, booming voice hits his friend’s ears and snaps them back to attention. Their eyes meet.

“I was hoping we could practice together!” He quickly blurts out. The other student’s eyes go wide as he senses something is amiss.

“Sure, okay.” Without looking back, Suzu’s friend quickly runs off towards him while Otori furrows his brows with a harrumph. He was definitely planning to throw around the same heartless words he had aimed towards Suzu and Yonaga, and glares at Suzu in frustration over having his plans thwarted. Suzu only responds with a laugh as he and his friend make their way back to the roof.

“Ah, so that’s why you looked so nervous!” After hearing Suzu explain himself, his friend quickly understands the situation and thanks him.

“Having a rivalry with a classmate is one thing, but… this is more like straight-up harassment, don’t you think!? We’re all working on the same performance, so what’s the point of getting in everyone else’s way? We should all just do our best, you know? Suzu lets out a sigh as his friend nods and approaches closer. After hearing his kind voice, all the previous anger feels silly now.

”I did mean it when I said I wanted to practice, though! Do you wanna?”

“Sure, let’s do it.”  

Up on the roof, their two silhouettes begin to dance. The dance that was so unsure before begins to burst full of energy between the two of them. In the back of Suzu’s mind, he recalls the image of the Jack Ace dancing on stage with the charming Al Jeanne. 

“I knew we could do this!”

Hearing Suzu’s brimming happiness, his friend laughs and wipes the sweat off his forehead. Suzu laughs back. There's a pounding in his chest like he's never felt before.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a quiet sunday night

sunday, 11pm, September 22, 2024 ~ cider close to hand, both alcoholic and non; hozier playing in the background; evidently it's the first day of fall

reading since i skipped doing one of these last week, both of my reading picks tonight are actually from a little while ago. both were so, so compelling, but for different reasons. one an award-winning piece of twentieth-century canadian literature set in 1970s india, the other a scandalous semi-autobiographical account of drinking, dating, and divorce in roaring twenties new york.

i think that drew me into both of these first was their dialogue-- both authors are so good at writing distinctly unique, distinctly not-what-i-usually-hear character dialogue, without it sounding at all affected. i got the feeling that both authors were working from life, describing societies they knew inside and out, and had observed intimately. so much detail about the, like, material and sensory details of these two different settings-- what everyone wore out to dinner in the twenties, and what they were eating and drinking; what shopping for a chicken or going to the doctor was like in mid-seventies bombay, what school was like, how people were discussing the government... beyond that, these two feel so dissimilar that comparing them is going to do a disservice to both. though i guess both have, at different points in their histories, been the subject of some scandal. listening shout out to my 'for you' playlist last week, which was one hit after another-- but opened with this, and introduced me to rachel chinouriri! whose sound i really like. that first slow build up to the guitar bursting in? got my attention immediately. the lyrics to this one are, admittedly, wild to be singing while trying to write job apps, but it's melancholy in enough of an upbeat way that it almost feels calming?

No point in trying to prove yourself to them Why question who you are from deep within? No matter what, your youth is gonna end My god it’s sinking in There’s no point in anything

the whole album goes down so smooth, and is rewarding repeat listens. i love her voice. i love how late i am to discovering her, since she's opening for sabrina carpenter now apparently.

watching no shogun time this week, but the gang and i sat down to experience the first episode of a new series, which i cannot stop thinking about. imagine like. australian broadchurch, but only one of the main characters and all the victims are actually in a bleak crime drama, and every other character is doing like parks & rec. also it's extremely gay. and rude. and funny. favorite characters are dulcie, and sven the guy who keeps asking who he can delegate stuff to. also dulcie's wife, who i'm so worried about the world crushing somehow, she seems too optimistic to survive undamaged!

playing did i mention finishing act ii of pentiment? now that @blue--period is playing it, i realized i wanted to get further and be able to discuss. i was devastated by the end of act i, but the end of act ii feels... bleak in a way i wasn't expecting, at all. i'm already planning a second play-through using my other save file, since i failed a bunch of checks in act ii (a few i think based on the background i had chosen, aggravating since it was helpful in other ways) and no spoilers, but in other ways, i failed by succeeding. saving act iii for now, since i have a busy next couple of weeks. much love to caspar, my best boy.

making fallow week. check back soon for experiments with medieval ink making, though!! i have sourced ingredients, and parchment scraps, from kind friends and colleagues who won't ask me to pay for them, and will shortly be (i hope) benefiting from someone else's paper-making budget. stay tuned.

working on prepping for my students' quiz on thursday, and the following assignment due in early oct, by brainstorming what i want to ask them to do and then not actually writing the rubric or instructions. alternating with staring at the descriptions of various job openings and trying to pick up lots of detail about the hiring departments. wrote up a 2-page dissertation summary, which sucked. feeling more chill about the process than i thought, which is also because it doesn't feel like it's happening to me, exactly. writing sample and finalized cover letter this week?

[maddieladner1999]

Red white and royal blue thoughts

Spoilers ahead be warned

Just to note I have not finished the book yet but I will

The cake scene was so good.

Outpolling the spice girls? Queen

“Good old fashioned damage control” I’m loving the accent

The sun shines line is the best love hearing it

Alex having to pretend to be friends with Henry is such a good plot device

“You’re wearing lifts I know that too sweetheart” lol love him

The tension is literally killing me

They should’ve had some time to prep this interview it’s awkward

White blond and British lol

Food fights to explain the cake?

Omg the closet scene I can’t

Some truths coming out that’s a good start

Nicholas face acting is impeccable

Aww they cut the Star Wars thing out

“You’re expected at my New Year’s party” yes

Rip to Alex’s sister

Is this guy flirting with him?

How is the presidents son so easily able to be a student and not be followed around by everyone?

The texting has started and love the spy kids lol

Oh yes the turkey scene

Love the way there filming the texts and calls

Alex wanting to help is cute

He didn’t wear a grey tie!

Henry’s face when the girl showed up 🥹

Henry’s reaction to get low is iconic

He’s trying so hard it’s cute.

Omg the girls kissing Alex and Henry’s reaction 🥹 he fell first

The way he says did I do something wrong tho

I don’t know how he didn’t get the prince Henry being bay thing I mean he literally said the people who interest me I can’t date

Alex worrying about Henry tho

Nora is the best

Alex being totally oblivious to his crush on henry is so funny

So he’s had a past with guys it’s not fully unaware

He’s looking for Henry awe

Prince henry has arrived yay

Alex getting help to talk to henry alone is so iconic of him

They’re kissing omg yes

Your royal hardness or Big Ben I love it

The ass grab stop

Some very bad things to you omg

Immediately walks into kissing I love them

Ok we doing this?

They kept the key!

I just can’t afford for you to fall in love with me awe henry you poor thing

Ok polo match next meeting

The one last look before leaving though

The sneaking around is perfection

“Yeah I could eat” sir you just did

That’s a long name

Alex’s hair in the coffee shop omg

Henry you making me sad

Alex just wanted to comfort him

Oh we already at making love

“I went to an English boarding school trust me you’re in good hands” henry you slut

They’re chemistry is everything.

The way they look at each other is so pure

I did not expect an actual sex scene

What in the fanfic?

Nicholas has very non manly hands

Omg they slept together too

Alex loves his life and Henry hates his

I love the idea of a women being president

“Yes madam president” I love him

She liked his memo! Yay

He’s going to Texas to get his mom re-elected!

The emails montage tho

Prince Henry has arrived in New York yasss

I have a feeling Miguel will do something stupid tho

Omg this is where zahra catches them oh yes

Her reaction to it being Henry is so on point

Straight up panic attack

Aww Henry told his sista

Is Alex gonna come out to his mom?

“He happens to be Henry” the realization

I love how accepting she is

Not a sex talk too lol

They invited Henry to the vacation house cute

I’m living for prince henry in normal clothes

He’s wearing Alex’s hats and singing karaoke I love Nicholas singing

I think Alex just realized he’s in love with Henry

They’re laying on the dock together I can’t

Oh no Henry is getting scared of Alex’s feelings

Nicholas the actor you are

Omg he jumped in to avoid the conversation

Poor Henry can’t have what he wants

Not him leaving in the middle of the night noo

Awe his sister cares so much about his feelings I hate that he can’t love Alex

Alex keeps calling obviously he’s confused

Alex flew to London to see Henry he’s in love

Henrys speech tho 👏🏻👏🏻

Y’all I’m actually crying

Alex making Henry tell him to leave yes king

Where are they going?

A museum?

There gonna dance cute

This is so precious

There gonna try to be together!

He’s giving Alex his ring and Alex is giving him the key necklace I can’t

Oh no the emails have been released

“The Waterloo letters” is that a mamma Mia reference?

Miguel for sure leaked the emails

Alex can come forward with the truth and does but will Henry?

Alex’s speech on coming out 👏🏻👏🏻

Zahra calling to get Henry on the phone for Alex tho queen

The way his face lit up when he heard Alex’s voice omg

Alex came to London for him I cannot

The piano playing is so cute

His hair is a lot less blonde but I think it’s the lighting

The king wishes to see Alex and Henry?

The silence is killing me

The king is trying to protect Henry by keeping him from happiness

Henry is standing up for himself I love it

“The nation will not accept a prince who is homosexual” yet there are loads of people outside

Henry is going outside with Alex and being himself!

Henry being there for the end of the election tho

Henry’s tie stop

She won! Ellen won!

Henry’s on stage with them!!!

I’m so happy they can be public

Visiting the old house?

That’s it? No I want more

[saffronapplemanga]

Untitled Blue - アンタイトル・ブルー

DRAMA, MYSTERY

Untitled Blue by Natsume Yukiko

(2 volumes, ongoing)

JP only - English summary in this post

Links to my other manga posts here

I've started out this year strong by completely ignoring my 2023 Manga Reading Goals post, which is very on-brand for me tbh, with Momo's Medical History, Yume no Shizuku Kin no Torikago, A California Story, and probably other stuff I'm forgetting. I have my reasons so leave me be. I decided to actually consult my list this time and was debating between Untitled Blue and Tenjou Renka. Knew practically nothing about either but went with Untitled Blue after skimming the samples for each. All I DID know beforehand was it had something about art and suicide, that's it. (***Trigger warning for suicide*** because it is indeed in there.)

This one’s for you Colleen *finger guns*

Once again, since this isn't available in English, I'll summarize it like I always do for Japanese-only manga. Spoilers for volumes 1-2 will be labeled and my thoughts will be after that. Twitter reading thread here. Twitter link to this post here.

***SPOILERS FOR VOLUME ONE***

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Anyone else get labeled a “gifted/honor student” growing up? Ugh…

Ogihara Akari was called an art prodigy as a child but fizzled out when she got older. On her way home one day, she swings by the ocean to scavenge driftwood for the art prep school she works at. To her surprise, while she's there a young man emerges from the ocean in front of her eyes. Akari offers to call for help but the boy tells her not to. If she does, he'll die right here, right now. Unable to walk away, Akari brings him home where he proceeds to pass out on her couch. She tries to find an ID but instead finds an expensive watch engraved with the name of a big financial conglomerate.

It’s fine! On my second day in Japan way back when, I got in a stranger guy’s car in Ishinomaki who was fixing graves without a second thought because I got lost looking for the ferry. Sweet guy! I’m alive and didn’t get kidnapped! Don’t tell my mom... Don't do what I do guys, be safe. I speak Japanese and knew what I was doing.

The boy wakes up and wanders into a storage room in the house that's full of art supplies. When Akari realized where he went, she finds him painting and having read about her youth. While watching him paint, she sees childlike joy in him and he produces a beautiful piece of the beach where she found him. She asks him if he does Japanese painting but he says it was his first time using that kind of paint. FYI 日本画 nihonga or Japanese painting uses a specific type of paint. More info here. I met a nihonga artist who was getting ready for an exhibition at the art prep school I used to go to in Tokyo and I realized, "Wow, there's a lot about nihonga I don't know." I've seen nihonga materials at art supplies stores like Sekaido Shinjuku and PIGMENT TOKYO in Shinagawa, and I don't even know where to start tbh.

I mean, look at all this. At least there's cool stuff to look at on the long hike to the immigration office - PIGMENT TOKYO (Shinagawa)

The boy suggests that they sell his work under Akari's name because for reasons, he can't put his name out there. She insists that it won't be so simple but he goes, "You're a former prodigy. Let's just list it for like ¥800,000 or whatever."

¥800,000??? Sir??????? At first, I thought he said ¥80,000 which is like, yeah okay. But honestly? Ask for your worth artists!

Akari is envious that he was able to capture the feeling of the beach when she had drawn the same scenery over and over, but failed. Her work wasn't valued, but his painting of the beach actually sold for ¥800,000. Not only that, it was bought by Iwakura, a well-known artist in the nihonga scene. Akari thinks that the boy should come forward as the artist of the piece. Instead, he asks her how much time ¥800,000 would buy him to stay at her place and says, "Let me borrow your name and I'll give you fame and fortune." I am... screaming.

This is making me feral, both in a friendship way and a potential romance way. Porque no los dos?

While he's telling Akari that he thinks she never wanted to give up on art, her little brothers come home. She tells the kids that this stranger is... going to be living with them... Middle schooler Toma is a sweetheart who invites him to dinner, while high schooler Nagisa is also a great kid but more skeptical, pokes and prods, and is against it. We find out the boy's name is Omi and learn that Akari's parents died 8 years ago. Omi convinces Nagisa to let him stay because he'll make them ¥10,000,000. Nagisa agrees because he wants to make sure they can send Toma to college.

Later, Omi and Akari are talking and she asks him if he's somehow related to the financial conglomerate. She also expresses hesitation in letting him crash with them. This seems to hit a sore spot for Omi who feels like a burden and clearly has baggage.

Oof…

They discuss their arrangement and Omi talks about carving themselves into the world and having something to leave behind. One thing leads to another, and Akari ends up getting featured on Iwakura's TV show and a spot in an art gallery. She has a few close calls where she was at risk of getting exposed for not being the artist behind the piece. Akari's sudden success has also led to others feeling animosity toward her. However, Akari starts to show signs of coming into her own, and acknowledging her "sins." It looks like she's going to try and really get back into painting herself. Volume one ends with a “long-time fan” of Akari's coming to the gallery and confronting her, claiming that he knows she's lying.

***SPOILERS FOR VOLUME TWO***

The “fan” seems to know something is up, possibly that Omi is staying with Akari. It seems like he might be some gangster or perhaps works for the big financial group? We’re not told who he is yet.

Akari starts putting her all into art and taking it seriously. Back at the Ogihara household, Toma is showing an interest in art as well. Nagisa however, snaps at his siblings. I think it's from a place of worry for their future as well as discomfort with all the changes since Omi showed up. His outburst reminded me of parents who want their kids to pick “safe” paths that are more likely to lead to a secure future, hence why he’s so worried about sending Toma to college. They’ve all had to grow up quickly after losing their parents.

Nagisa runs off and everyone goes looking for him. During their search, Akari's mind starts spinning, feeling guilty for ever letting art come before her brothers and dropping the ball at home. Since their parents passed, she's had to step up as the eldest. She thought that as long as she could protect her family, she'd be fine, even if that meant giving up on her dreams.

While my life is not beat-for-beat like Akari’s, there are A LOT of similarities and… oh man… this hurts…

Stuck trying to balance sacrificing for the people she loves, part of Akari can't give up on her passions for her own sake. After she finds Nagisa, she tells him to watch her paint. He goes on to say that he's worried she'll get hurt again, so she tells him, "I hope you'll be there to help me so I can come out of it okay." Which, omg, yes. Allowing yourself to ask for help and not shouldering everything alone is good! All these kids are just so precious, honestly.

Meanwhile, Omi gets a letter from the Amasawa financial group which sends him into a mental spiral. We don't get to see what's in the letter exactly, but he starts to think things like, "I'm running out of time." We later find out the letter is threatening to drag the Ogihara family into things if Omi doesn't contact them.

Hello darkness my old friend~

Akari goes to check on him and takes him outside for a change of pace, where they discuss some plans to participate in an art fair. Omi seemingly out of nowhere tells Akari they should have a contest and, "If you win, I'll give you your name back." Of course, Akari is confused as to what he means and turns him down.

In the second half of chapter 7, Toma is skipping school for the first time ever. The "fan" guy, whose name is Hijiri, had run into Toma before and takes him on a ride on the back of his motorcycle. Basically, this grown-ass man is trying to build camaraderie with a literal child so he can use him to get at Omi. He manipulates Toma's insecurities and I hate it. Toma, sweetie, get away from him!!!

I’m gonna throw hands, I swear if he touches a hair on Toma's head (ง’̀-‘́)ง

It turns out Hijiri is Omi's cousin, specifically the son of Omi's younger paternal uncle. Because of this, Omi was set to be the heir of the Amasawa family, leaving Hijiri to live in his shadow. To make matters worse, Hijiri's dad was a hobby artist and started giving Omi more attention when he showed greater artistic talent than his son. To make matters even worse, Omi has everything Hijiri wants, but he doesn't want it himself. Omi tells him that if he wants to be the heir, he can have the position, then immediately threw himself off a balcony and into a lake. Good lord... Hijiri is furious that his cousin doesn't appreciate everything he's been "blessed" with, and he's going to drag him back home to get money and stop the Amasawa group from looking down on him. Get help bro, sheesh.

I'll be brief about the second half of this volume:

We get loads of emotional beats that made me absolutely lose it. So much so, I actually shot up out of my seat and pulled a muscle LOL. The ending of volume 2 just... crushed me. I'm so upset and I need to know what happens next right this instant. I won't say much more as I think it would be best to read those parts for yourself when it's available. I know I keep saying this for a lot of my reads recently, but please license this.

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***END OF SPOILERS FOR VOLUMES 1-2***

As I mentioned in my Blue Period post, I'm an art kid. It's a big passion of mine. Having a well-written, realistically portrayed struggling artist/creative is always a plus in my book. I just wanna feel seen guys... This series delivers with a side of the kind of plot that we come to shoujosei for — chef's kiss.

The Ogihara family (including honorary member Omi) are lovable, interesting characters. I adore great sibling dynamics in stories, and this has great sibling dynamics! Akari and Omi are so different, but the same — two sides of the same coin? And Akari realizes this herself. Our main duo understand each other in some respects but don't at all in others. I liked how Akari understandably asks Omi personal questions the first day they met but doesn't pry when he clearly doesn't want to share. She leaves him be for the most part, not pestering him, but not to the point of letting him wallow around too much. But when she does push, it's from a place of caring and concern, and she does it in a way that makes that clear.

"How about a change of pace?"

"... Don't wanna... sounds like a pain."

"Oh, don't be like that! We're not going anywhere far." (Then she dragged him outside lol)

I'm sure some people are thinking, "You idiot, why are you bringing home some stranger and letting him live there? You don't even know who he is." And yeah, I feel that. But when Akari met Omi the way she did, she realized he was in a bad place, he was hurting, and desperately needed a hand to reach out to him. So, she took his hand. How could she leave him there? At the same time, I think Akari needed to meet him as much as he needed to meet her. I love that for them.

And Omi never crosses any lines with her. He doesn't have ulterior motives toward her in that way. There is potential romance, but there's no anime bullshit if you know what I mean. Omi is respectful, aware of the fact he's crashing at this stranger's house, and tries to contribute in his own way, albeit awkwardly. This guy was brought into this family and it warms my heart.

Initially, I was thinking that Akari would simply continue to be the face of the art while Omi produced it. I'm delighted to see that they're actually working together to be two halves of a whole! I think Akari was afraid to put her all into art while Omi might be putting too much of himself into his art. He's escaped a suffocating environment and could be going too hard pursuing the only thing he truly wants to do with his newfound freedom.

The art in Untitled Blue is lovely and does an amazing job of conveying how characters feel and nailing the mood in a scene. I enjoy the pacing as well.

Love it when you can feel a page!

This page feels like a visual representation of a panic attack but after the overwhelming thoughts, instead of the mental clarity she reaches here, your brain goes blank for a whole day. Glad you got the mental clarity route Akari.

These pages are sick, actual chills.

Speaking of art, there are some cool things that come up in the story. There's commentary on what makes art compelling, as well as scenes about art that's more realistic/photorealistic versus more stylized art.

"If you're getting this close to the real thing, why not just take a picture?"

"Is he serious? That's better than my drawing? It looks like something that took 5 seconds to draw." Isn't this basically what people say about Picasso's stuff? There was a line in Blue Period about this too.

I'm not saying photorealistic art is bad or less than. There are various opinions regarding this topic. A lot artists learn a foundation of what things are supposed to look like (still life, figure drawing, etc.) to learn the "rules" so they can break them. Some argue that "art normies" find realistic works more appealing than those with a more decerning eye. And this does come up in the manga.

There's also lots of talk about the value of art in various senses, and where they discuss the monetary value of art that I found interesting.

Yes, art is more than just the money, but artists are professionals that deserve to get paid well for their craft.

Loving the exploration of various ideas!

I'm not sure if this series is going to have romance or not, and whether it'll be more of a sub-genre or a big part of the manga. There are some incredibly tender scenes that could be taken as romantic, but could also be vulnerability and platonic love as well imo. MAL says it's drama/mystery/romance, but Renta! just has it listed under mystery/suspense, no romance, so idk. I'm cool with things being platonic or romantic as long as it's done well. Although, I kind of want more platonic relationships.

I'm reading this on Renta! and romance series like うるわしの宵の月/In the Clear Moonlit Dusk are tagged with 恋愛/romance. Untitled Blue doesn't have the tag though.

I was looking around to see if there was a release date for volume 3, but it turns out that there hasn't been a volume released since September 2021.

Volume 1 was released June 2021, and volume 2 was released September 2021.

But the mangaka tweeted this in November 2022:

"Untitled Blue volumes 1-2 are available 🎶 Volume 3 will release in the near future, so now's a great time to catch up 🎶”

Haven't seen any release dates, but it looks like we can look forward to volume 3 soon! I enjoyed Untitled Blue WAY more than I was expecting to and I can't wait to read more!!! After the end of volume 2, I need to know what happens... It actually made me tear up. I mean, aren't the best reading experiences the ones that make you bounce off the walls and scream at the page?

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If there's any Japanese-only manga you want me to check out, let me know! No promises, I'll only read what I'm interested in, but I'll take suggestions into consideration. Preferably, shorter manga or newer manga with a few volumes out since I like to take breaks from longer series I'm reading :)

[solar-argo]

I FORGOT ABOUT THE OC-TOBER IM SO SORRY

I'm going on a road trip with my mom tomorrow tho, which means! A lot of time to draw! So i will try my bestest to do a few days LMAO

Anyway to tide yall over, have my lego monkie kid oc!! I love her with all of my heart.

I have edited her design a little, and given her a backstory!! I also finished the show. Giggles autistically. CW for below, season 3 spoilers for Lego Monkie Kid! As well as minor character death, but that's not a show spoiler

So, she has a little sister, Fēn, and she loves her little sister. Her parents are. Distant at best, so Qiu was kinda eldest daughter syndrome-ed by their parents. During the Lady Bone Demon attack, her house collapsed while her sister was at school (Qiu is in university, taking classes at night, and working part time to afford a babysitter for Fēn when their parents arent around, which is often).

Qiu wakes up in a pocket of rubble and is able to wiggle her way out, and stays at a hospital thats taking in displaced people while tracking down her sister. When she finally finds her, about a week later, she tells Fēn that she couldn't find their parents, but when people offer to try to help finding them, Qiu politely declines, and never does bother to put in effort to find them.

Considering Qiu is now the SOLE provider for her little sister, she drops out of her evening classes and searches for a full-time job that will take her despite her lack of degree. Her search takes her to Pigsy's noodles, where she's once again told that there aren't any openings. However, she is desperate for a job, and begs Pigsy to consider her. So, he hesitantly offers her a job in the kitchen; doing prep work for him, grocery runs when they run out of an ingredient, etc. She thanks him, and the next day she sends Fēn off to school, and goes to Pigsy's noodles.

Every weekday she leaves early to pick up her sister, and then comes right back, plonking her sister in a chair at the counter to do her homework. Eventually, Tang and Mei offer to do it, and trade off picking Fēn up from school. While she's at the shop, Tang and Mei usually keep her company, and, when it's not busy, so will MK.

Eventually, they find out that Qiu dropped out of school, and when they ask why, she shrugs and responds 'I couldn't afford a house, food, AND a babysitter while in school, so I had to sacrifice something.' They all feel bad, despite the fact that Qiu shrugs it off, saying that it was a part of life. So, MK, Mei, and Tang all band together and tell Qiu that they'll watch Fēn for free while she is in classes. Qiu cries, thanks them, and applies to uni again for the new school year.

Problems arise, however, during the first set of exams. Qiu needs to be at school in the morning, and everyone is busy in the morning; MK doing training, Mei training as well (I headcanon that after the arc was finished, Mei kept training to use the samadhi fire with Red Son), and Tang usually shopping with Pigsy.

So, on MK's day with Fēn, she's brought the flower fruit mountain, and gets to meet Sun Wukong. They get along... alright; Sun Wukong is a little awkward around her, considering she's a lot younger than MK, and he's not quite sure how to talk to her. They spend the day painting rocks while MK does chores around the mountain; Qiu didn't want them to work on fighting with a 6 year old right there.

On Mei's day, she takes Fēn to see Red Son, who has Mei work on her focus and control over the fire. Red Son, who has a MUCH easier time talking to her than Wukong, ends up sitting next to Fēn and playing various games with her while Mei trains.

On Tang's day, she gets dropped off with Sandy, who ends up having a several hour long tea party with her and Mo, complete with a comically small tiara for Sandy, and a pink ballgown for Mo. And of course, Fēn dresses up in her own blue gown, and doesn't ask Sandy why or how he had her favorite color ballgown. (He asked Qiu what Fēn's size was, and made a gown for her, just in case she ever came over)

And on the last day of exams, MK had training again; this time, with Macaque. Macaque was, to most people's surprise, very soft with Fēn. When MK arrived to his dojo, visibly frazzled with an excited 6 year old, he'd blinked, stared for a moment. He'd sighed, canceling training, and left the dojo, locking it behind him, before bending down to talk to Fēn, introducing himself, and asking what she wanted to do. And so, the 3 of them went to an arcade, MK and Fēn playing while Macaque kept an eye out. By the end of the day, Fēn was referring to Macaque as "uncle M"

That's all I got for now, and I did not mean for it to be so damn LONG?? Jesus christ- TLDR lbd attacks, oc becomes mom to her little sister, works at Pigsy's, goes to college, and The Gang babysits her little sister for her.

Mayhaps I should make a fic out of this. (I will never make a fic out of this, I do NOT have the motivation to write. Like, ever)

[storiesofsvu]

haapy thursday...

law and order AND criminal mind spoilers under the cut! (criminal mind at the very end and very easy to skip over)

Thank god for these recaps because I forget ninety percent of what happens on OC because I just do not care lololoolol.

Where do I know this motherfucker from? (duran) (ouat… that’s where)

Uuggggghhh we’re gonna have to deal with MORE UC Elliot?! Fuck this

LOOL she’s a CI, fucking new there was something off about her. Like yeah, she’s still a criminal but cooperating lol.

I feel like this approach to getting in is literally the worst. Why would this fuck ever trust anyone who just randomly walks up to him in a bar with a duffle of money?! Like that’s CLEARLY a fucking cop. I know there’s the pretense of “killing kevin” shit but still… I would not believe

Uggh Elliot shut the fuck up, stop taking this out on Jamie….

I don’t trust this other boss dude, not one bit… I feel like literally everyone on this show is out to get Ayanna and fuck up her life like… can she just be left in peace for ONCE pls.

And immediately after I say that Elliot goes behind her back and groups up the squad into a secret operation without her permission or even opinion on it. Like, he really doesn’t understand that she OUTRANKS him right?! Like could you IMAGINE if Velasco or muncy pulled that crap on olivia?! They’d be out of a job. Like… even with Duarte, who is *not* part of her squad, but a level below as a lieutenant, she got all attitudey “the next word out of your mouth better be followed by a ‘captain’.” Like…cmon… I get that this is meloni’s show, but like, have some fucking respect for your boss??

Whyd they make sure a big deal out of this girl and the police reveal on elliots behalf if SHE’S ALREADY A CI?? SHES ALREADY WORKING WITH THE COPS!??

LOOOOLLL the look on bell’s face when Jamie took her coffee. PLEASE. M’am’s about to smack a bitch

Kay. So… you’re telling me you’re looking for duran… and you HAVENT checked with the daughter’s house?? (or is this all a rouse?)

Is she *not* a CI? I’m so fucking confused.

Jfc the disgust face I made when she kissed him, fuck this

Yeah man, im with Jamie on this….

Okay, update from last week now that imdb is updated… elliot’s therapist IS the same actor as fin’s rope/tide guy. Fucking KNEW IT.

Mothership time..

Oooo! LOVING the blue on kate!!

Callback to the SHOES! YES! Something that Chicago pd taught me was to look for the shoes cause they can’t dump them or change them like they can a coat/hoodie. I knew he had red ones!

He’s an upper east side prep school kid and the judge REALLY went for a mere $2mill?? Jfc

Is sam going to actually get to do this one on her own for once?? Pls…

Aawweeee sam my beeebeeeee…. Let me HUG YOU PLS. im thankful for more insight into her background now

Jfc… nolan’s “excuse me?” when sam brings up the rich white kid comment? Go fuck yourself. BLESS mccoy for stepping in and defending her and agreeing, give her some damn respect fuck.

Vic had THIS many *severe* injuries and the perp only has a broken wrist/hand whatever, and we’re seriously claiming self defence? That’s going WAY overboard bestie

Okay I called being under the influence as a defence plea at the beginning… but god what a fucking dick move just because you know you’ve lost the self defence plea. Ugh.

 Okay…they bought dabs at like, 11pm? And the murder happened at like what 6am? Like obvi he could’ve been smoking all night as he wandered around and threw rocks but still.. this is fuckign bull

They’re saying he LEGALLY ingested it, yet he’s 18 & the legal age is 21, so there’s THAT and then there’s the fact that his FRIEND was the one who bought it with his weed card, NOT him.

NOLAN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU JUST WANT TO THROW SAM UNDER THE BUS CAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO TAKE THE FALL FUCK YOU.

I was LITERALLY about to say “why is every week of this show the old white lawyer and cop being fucking stupid and the poc characters having to be all ‘smarten up bruh’,” and THEN THAT HAPPENED. Fuck.

At least mccoy has her back.

Okay back to raging about Nolan… like.. this just makes it look like a personal vendetta. Change it out to the female poc lawyer leading the case, the one who you know is already having an emotional week and taking the case a little bit too hard. So if she gets emotional in the courtroom or whatever it’s because “she’s a woman” if she crosses a line its because she’s biased to the poc vic. Like FUCK this. Sam gets treated like shit and tossed into the ditch every goddamn week of this show I s2g, she deserves better.

Still mad at Nolan but overall that ep was WAY more entertaining and interesting than any other one ive seen. Doesn’t hurt that it was a very sam focussed one…

Time for SVU

Velasco coming in clutch with the cozy coat collection yet again

Bx9 has literally been around for YEARS, like we’ve seen them in so many previous seasons, and liv has been in svu the entire time, she’s worked bx9 cases before, how tf would she have not known/realized this shit earlier?

Fin getting stuck doing literal managerial work and absolutely hating it is peak comedy

Muncy going after Duarte… mood

We’re…really letting muncy out there on her own… this seems like bad news…

God this is fucking heartbreaking…

Still not sure if I trust or like Duarte…

I get this guys in the hospital but why is he not cuffed to the bed.. like..bruh is gonna RUN otherwise.

All of this “let them get settled” “tell her to come in tomorrow” “give them some peace” GURL PLS WE ALL KNOW THAT THEY’LL BE DEAD BY THEN…

THAT’S Oscar papa…. He’s a fucking twink…

Literally anyone could’ve seen that shanking coming… cmon… that’s been the theme tonight. Way too obvious foreshadowing..

Okay… so after all of that… it wasn’t actually Oscar papa?

Oh, okay, so they let this perp get dressed?? Lolololol

Im sorry… on what grounds do they have to arrest him? This is just based off what the other guy said? See… if we were going to do a three ep arc of this shit, and there’s still one left, could we not have wrapped up with some personal shit, the team out for drinks? Sonny going home to the girls?? Olivia maybe popping in to see how noah’s doing?? And then leave the arresting Oscar to the beginning of next week?

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to briefly touch on criminal minds as well because i yelled out loud and scared my roomate lololol.

last week was SO fucking good, like they fed us so well and then this week wtf was that!? the bomb going off, we knew from the promo jj would be relatively ok, but not luke. i KNOW their team is small so having one of them in the hospital would throw things off but like, at least one of them could be a little bloodied up, a little consequences once in a while would be nice and not just a jump scare (i cant think of the proper saying but you get my drift)

i never really shipped garcia & luke, so i'm not super mad about the tyler thing. do think its weird for garcia to be so hot and cold, like she refused to be in the same room as him and now she's (secretly) helping him out and giving him a place to stay and all that? i get that now he's out free cause he wasn't an unsub, and there's that sympathy over the dead sister and her being able to relate to it over her parents but it still seems super off. (and yes, i do think that it was incredibly dumb and irresponsible of the entire fbi team to be all "yeah, your sister's dead, sorry, BAI!" like, they shouldve asked if he had somewhere to go, a friend to talk to, anything...)

what I AM *very* mad about is rebecca & tara. we're introduced in the first ep to rebecca, and finally have some queer representation on the show (and played by a queer actor too!--presumably?? i dont know if its ever been legitimately confirmed?) for us to BARELY see them together, NEVER see them at home together (no matter how briefly they lived together). just to break them up?? like, don't get me wrong, i can see why what happened would cause a fight in their relationship, but even tara could go in and explain that at the time of the original case, she wouldve believed it too, that they had more evidence now and rebecca isn't at fault or some shit like that... why do we always have to kill our gays!? it's getting fucking old and im not here for it.

rest of the ep was meh? did love they got the jet back though. hoping next week is better.

[evilwickedme]

This may be WILDLY belated considering when the books were published, but what’s the Raven Cycle about/why is it good in your opinion? Always heard a lot about it in the abstract but nothing actually about the plot.

I mean yeah it's a little belated but better late than never is real and especially applies to one of my fav books of all time

Ok so what is TRC about? In a literal sense it's about a girl named Blue, who isn't psychic but who lives in a house full of women who are including her mom, who's been told her entire life that if she kisses her true love, he will die. She then gets involved with a group of boys from the local prep school, Gansey, Adam, Ronan, and Noah, who - under Gansey's leadership - are looking for a dead (possibly not actually dead) Welsh King right there in West Virginia.

But that's just the story. Listen, this thing's got intrigue and murder and soft magic systems for days, but that's not what makes TRC one of my all time favorite books of all time.

So what is TRC about? As a whole, it's about family - in all its forms. Blood relations, for better and for worse, and friendships that are closer than blood. As a whole, it's about class - the ways class shapes us and the opportunities we do or do not get because of it and what it means about our past, present, and future and how it lets us relate to one another or prevents us from understanding one another.

But on an individual level, each character undergoes such specific arcs that are somehow so universal you can't help but empathize with all of them. It's about learning that you don't hate yourself, or at least learning to stop hating yourself. It's a coming out narrative. It's about getting out of an abusive situation and the many steps it takes to recover from that mindset. It's about chasing love. It's about desire. It's about wanting to plant your feet in the ground and still reach for the stars.

It's also about cars. And trees. There are so many trees.

Like seriously. A fuckload of trees.

Why is it good? It's well written, for one. All my copies, whether digital or physical, are covered in highlights and notes and google translations of latin. I've analyzed and analyzed again and read and reread these books and I always find something new in them.

There's something that's so homey about the minds of these characters. Especially having first read them as a deeply strange teen, they capture something about being a deeply strange teen that I simply haven't seen anywhere else. And this is the example of the found family trope, for me. These deeply strange teens who found other deeply strange teens to understand and love them.

The supporting cast here is also rich and varied. There's something like thirty POVs in the final book but it doesn't feel like it, because you've been existing alongside these characters for so many pages that getting to say goodbye to all of them is all that makes sense.

Beyond that a lot of the reasons I think are good are straight up spoilers or even veer into discourse. But yeah, TRC is worth your time. Several times over.

Also, the audiobooks are like, fine, and available for free on Spotify, which fucked up my stats for 2021 and also forever and ever in general, so there you go.

(I've only read each book in the sequel series, The Dreamer Trilogy, once each, so I'm not nearly as eloquent on it as I am this one, but I will say that it's also worth reading, but it deals with entirely different subjects, is a little darker, and I don't love it as much. I'm not unhappy with the end Maggie Stiefvater gave us for this world, however.)

[zonerz]

I posted 28,723 times in 2022

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I tagged 3,196 of my posts in 2022

#khdr spoilers - 97 posts

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#yeah i took three typing classes in middle school (mandatory class rotation if not in band) and then my college prep computers class in fres

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

GOD OKAY SO. Was thinking abt how banger Tim's Armor is and MANNNNN I know past me had never designed armor before and didn't know how it worked but looking at my old design is so 💀💀💀SO! BESTIE GOT A REDESIGN !!!

Alt version under the cut without the overlay!

I've just always been such a sucker for this kind of color palette and I wanted to doodle him in it on a whim and uhhh well that whim turned into a whole 3 day project lol

149 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

#4

See the full post

182 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#3

GAMERS........... It’s never felt so good to be a Sonic Fan

Quick little scribble of the best fuckin boy between putting off important task bc I saw the new movie twice yesterday and cannot get it out of my brain. This little blue boy has once again grabbed me by the throat and Im so happy to indulge again!

The movie is SO GOOD. IT’S LIKE. SO SO GOOD. As a long-time fan it made me so happy and was so so sweet and heartwarming, I cannot recommend it enough and I’m so excited for the third one 💙💙💙

194 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#2

See the full post

220 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

HE SHAVED

624 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[prepschoolinsanity]

(Spoiler for Prep School Blues the novel)

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My heart cant take this send help

[s-aint-elmo]

i didn’t mean for these two to be a set of anything but young blood, old souls came out and gave me an opportunity (updated lilith thoughts under the cut:)

i’m so glad to have called Dumb Teen Decision-Making Blowing Things Out Of Proportion and also pleasantly surprised to discover that lilith wasn’t as selfishly-motivated as i read her to be. wild. i’m a little disappointed that their relationship wasn’t as complex as i thought it would be (balancing resentment and competition with affection and camaraderie; as you do) but i’m not complaining about what we got. cannot wait to see how lilith slots into her new role as an ally and perhaps even a roommate 👀? i’d love to see their sister dynamic the likes of sense and insensitivity again

[i-imade-a-thing]

Amphibia All In Details!

OMG THIS IS SUCH A GREAT EPISODE I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS EVERYBODY GOT THEIR TIME TO SHINE AND AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! THE HYPE IS REALLLLLLLLLLLL!!

Anyways, here some details I noticed in this ep, spoiler below!

The ep opened with the same music as Reunion flashback

The punk girl and boy from reunion and Maggie can be seen in the school scene

The lights in dance party scene is green and pink....no blue

One of the poster said "SAT prep every Thrusday @ 2:30"

Pepper Ann and other background characters from ss3a can be seen in the crowd during invasion's arrival

Bibsy plushie can be seen in one of building (they use the same scene from Sprig birthday)

Love Choice 2 from the episode Civil Wart

Mr. X speed dial on the phone include Mom, Hubby, Boss, Teri, and Micky D's (probably mcdonalds)

AFTER THE RAIN FLASHBACK HERONS

Anne got another yellow shoe, a gameboy, and teens magazine in her locker

When Anne stared at "Who am I?" Anne's theme played

Millennium Puzzle from Yugioh, Megatron from Transformer, golden compass with disney's castle, LAMENT COFIGURATION FROM HELLRAISER

After Marcy got the map and start walking, Marcy's theme played

Polly probably use the same spotlight from the beginning flashback since it use the same color

"Anne hanging out with us, monster of week stuff", literally season 1

Sprig will be devastate when Anne leaves

DARCY GAMER

The left screen said "Kinds robot" "Kills 0" and upper screen said "power overwhelming"

Andrias' newspaper company is "Newstopian", on it wrote "frog election looms" with toadstool picture and "Frogaduke" "I cant see the show"

The pin Marcy gave andrias can be seen on irl marcy's journal

Olivia having mom energy

Marcy probably reminded Andrias of Leif in a way

"Heroes chosen with the might shall be given a chance to abandon our plight"

"Who need friends when they have ever lasting power?" callback to The Core and The King

Sasha's graffiti

When Anne order Frobo to get Plantar away from herons, Anne's theme played

Anne's wearing Link's outfit (The Legend of Zelda) and Sasha's wearing Edelgard (Xenoblade)

When Anne is giving peptalk to Plantars to fight, Anne's theme played

When Plantars charge in, Anne's theme played

The bus Boonchuys are on have "suspecious island 2" poster

Ayo lighning mcqueen

PLANTARS FAMILY DANCE

CLOAK BOTS ARE BACK

Jenny's armour have the letter "J" on the shoulder pad

when andrias open his mech it use the same sound effect from Ben 10 Omniverse' upgrade lmao

When Anne pull up her "Who am I?" paper and start her speech, anne's theme played

ANNE LEARNING TO LOVE HERSELF THROUGHOUT THE SERIES AND PLANTARS HELPING HER LEARN, THIS IS THE PAYOFF

ONE-SHOE DESIGN WAS INTENTIONAL

Anne mentioning Santa Claus, a callback to Froggy Little X-mas

Anne's principal have stockup toilet papers, chicken soups, water perification tablets, and power generator

When Anne powered up, u can see see lotus flower-shaped aura

Dr. Jan, Humphrey, and Terri can be seen in the crowd watching them fight

Anne vs Andrias fight is beautiful thematically, a fight between someone who powered by heart and someone who have broken heart

When Anne got knock out, the TV screen said "All hope lost"

During second wind, Anne's first punch let out lotus flower aura

When Marcy said "This isn't real is it?" Marcy's theme played

Lotus flower, everywhere

Leif come up with the name "Plantar" by switching "L" upside-down

There's around 8 frogs in Wartwood at Leif's time

She change her name to Lily Plantar

One of Leif's grandkid have similar hat to Sprig's but red

Also Leif's husband look like HP when he's old

Andrias know that even if he has a change of heart, there's no erasing what he'd done for the pass 1000 year

I like how you can see multiple mind in the core "Hey aldrick your son is losing the will to fight!" "that weakling!"

Darcy getting powered' down use the same scream as when the core upload itself onto Marcy

"Open your heart, and follow it," Andrias proceed to open his mech suit and embrace the punch from heart gem's user

He smiled before embracing it.

Even Anne is shock by this

Molly Joe, Jess, Ally, Humphrey, Dr. Jan, and Terri can be seen cheering when Anne won

In the scene with Maggie, one of bystander is wearing Bibsy World shirt (reference to Disneyland)

Andrias' voice crack when he said "Marcy, you must save Marcy"

When Marcy woke up(when the camara showed Grime and Plantars), Marcy's theme played

When Anne said "thing's change" both Marcy and Sasha look away for a second, however Sasha smile afterward (a little faster than Marcy), also afterward Anne's theme played

When they're doing group hug, Anne's theme played

Bufo, Priscilla, Pearl, Bella, and Gertie can be seen fighting alongside the rest of Amphibian

Also for someone who the other version, there's an end credit for this episode

ANNNND THAT'S ALL IN! This episode make me cry during Andrias scene, the newt who STAB Marcy....HOW! There's also so much great moment and hype moment AAHHHH!! I LOVE THIS SHOW! The animations, musics, voice actings...everything is perfect! Man I can't wait to see the final episode next week!

[my-sherlock221b]

Wincest fic recs

A wonderful time of the year to re-read some of the best wincest fics ever.

1. Sure Got a Dirty Mouth by JustineDelarge 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/411362/chapters/682610?view_adult=true

This is NOT just a smutty story. This explains why Wincest is beautiful, loving, and right. Ever wonder how Dean started talking dirty? The genesis is in the way Sam and Dean allow their feelings for each other to become physical. Sam is nearly 17, Dean is nearly 21.This story has dirty talk, all the feels you can handle, infinite love, well-developed original characters, and a rich plot that develops into a nail-biting narrative, with the best kind of hurt/comfort. SPOILERS for seasons 1-6.

2. The King and the Lionheart by waywardelle

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421695/chapters/16857040?view_adult=true

After the disastrous but effective removal of the Mark, Sam and Dean Winchester suddenly face a life without allies or a reason to keep hunting, so they leave their old life behind them in flames. They re-emerge from the ashes as Sam and Dean Wesson, residents of Misty Luna, Maine-- a town with a personality all its own. As they settle into civilian life, they gain careers, a home, good friendships and the kind of fulfillment they never thought possible. But with nothing left to fight, the underbelly of their particular kind of love is thrown into sharp relief, especially considering the whole town thinks they’re married, anyway. After dancing around their feelings for the past twenty years, Sam and Dean find a peace they never knew existed, and through it all, they find each other again. And maybe, just maybe, forever. 

3. Fumbling in the Dark: Love Advice For the Romantically Impaired by leonidaslion

https://archiveofourown.org/works/181789/chapters/267378

Both are oblivious idiots. This fic has 101 short chapters and is just fabulous!

4.  On your guard by theproblematique

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179601/chapters/27648189

After the existence of the supernatural became common knowledge, the general public turned to hunters for answers. This group of unsung heroes, who had lived in the shadows for so long, was thrust into superstardom overnight and looked to for safety above all else. Among them, no hunter was more famous than Dean Winchester: a fan-favorite American icon who helped banish all demons from Earth. His mysterious younger brother, however, had been absent from the public eye for years.

5. Your heart on my skin by locknkey

https://locknkey.livejournal.com/119992.html

Sam goes undercover at a prep school to try and figure out the source of a number of mysterious occurrences. When events escalate, Dean enrolls as well. A slip of the tongue and now everyone thinks they are boyfriends. Deceit and magic combine in a combination that changes their relationship in ways they could never have imagined.

6. Sam by lukinha_jesus

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2628884/chapters/5865089

All he knows is that there was a blue light, and then he wasn't the same. As the brothers try to figure out what exactly happened to Sam, and who was responsible for it, they will have to deal with an interesting, albeit frustrating, new situation. Will Sam's new curves feed an affection that Dean will be unable to tame? If they cross that line, what happens to this girl who is not supposed to exist? And, most importantly, what happens to the real Sam, Dean's brother, trapped in her body, looking through her eyes...?

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S4 E17 (The Hedwig Episode) (Spoilers)

Jughead says a shocking thing at the start of this episode: At its heart, Riverdale was and is, a wicked little town.   He’s just so worn out he doesn’t even believe in Riverdale is Good anymore.  He’s also given to hyperbole:  Evils of Stonewall Prep had been vanquished.  (I mean was the whole school truly evil or just the nutty kids who want to write crime fiction?)   The fates are vicious and they’re cruel, sings Betty, but here the fates = the makers of Riverdale and this is their mission statement. 

The whole town is shown freaking out about the voyeur video tapes.  At the diner are SWEET PEA and REGGIE and FANGS and KEVIN (and also Tom Keller but I’ll allow it) and so these four hang out at Pop’s together and feel at home there.  I mean,  because I know this is Jellybean I’m finding this retroactively very funny like, this one bratty weird Jones kid is freaking out literally every single person with a name in Riverdale.  Including Hiram Lodge!

Hiram is working out too much and almost injures himself.  And Archie is not good at keeping confidences, and lets Hiram know that Veronica told her boyfriend about Hiram’s so called illness. 

Betty is in the I am Superior To Jughead And Better Than Him At School mode again, and she’s so comfortable and happy here.  She’s put in a lot of work - taken on, as though she was his parent  and he was a struggling student, the project of getting him ‘make up’ assignments that he finds clearly very tedious and borderline insulting to think about.  Do note, that Jughead is not behind in school - he’s being subjected to bureaucratic vengeance by Stonewall Prep. But Betty likes to think this about Jughead, that he’s behind when she knows she’s valedictorian, so we’re going with this.

Jughead is not only off Riverdale but he’s off school, because he’s heartbroken, and his girlfriend’s attitude to all this is Thank god that part is over, Hooray, You’re behind me in school again.   His English assignment is especially insulting - writing a book report when he had just experienced the peak of completing a novel for a series that he’d loved as a child.  Betty is annoyed at his lack of gratitude, and this is also very Alice, to just bulldoze over why Jughead might be not all that gung ho about graduating from Riverdale, ‘on time.’  

Betty’s egotism is astounding.  She thinks Jughead will be motivated  with “make sure that you graduate, with me. What is more important than that?”  The universe where Jughead is struggling to graduate so that Betty has to guide him by the hand through it, and she’s going to Yale while Jughead has no college prospects is the correct world order in the mind of Betty Cooper.  So then he stops trying to stick up for himself and they kiss and they play the pretty Bughead theme and I have the heebie jeebies. 

Veronica has just told Jughead not to do this, but Jughead needs to something more to avoid feeling hatred towards Betty, so he seeks out Charles (who has the same  Child of Alice Cooper amnesia and acts surprised to see him even though they just last week worked intensely together to solve the Dupont murders and find Grandpa Jones) and asks to do the videotape mystery investigation.  He expressly does not want Betty to know about this, because he can’t take another conversation where she joyfully treats him like a kid who’s bad at school.

The promise is I won’t bring it up to her unless she asks me directly.  But why would she.  The world is in order.

Kevin wants to do Hedwig and Mr. Honey won’t let him do it.  Kevin says Hedwig is “not a niche show.”  And Kevin suddenly bursts into a Voice of My Generation (Or A Generation) speech, and I kind of love it, because I know what’s coming.  The blue T shirts with like, priority numbers or whatever they are is cheering me up by a lot.  So 1 = Archie,  2= Betty,  3 = Veronica, (Is Kevin 4? Jughead?)  5= Cheryl, (Who the heck goes HERE??) 13= Reggie, Toni= 14,  29 = Fangs, 35 = Sweet Pea (THIRTY FIVE??).  So anyway while singing this song about random number generation, they trash the school hallway, to which Honey of course threatens to fire Kevin from the entire thing.   

Archie makes up a fake band and calls it the Archies and signs them up to perform.  Archie’s guitar string breaks, so he goes to the garage, and picks up Fred’s old guitar with the spare strings. 

So Kevin is in the Archie Andrews Sex Room (Sorry, the Music Room) all sad about not being able to do Hedwig, and tells Fangs about what’s happened with Honey.  Fangs suggests that he ‘go rogue.’ 

Betty says “you know I support you”  and also “I think you’re an amazing writer, Jug” before she tells Jughead that his book report is crap.  And of course I keep editing in what I think she means in my head - she supports him as long as he doesn’t surpass her, and the bit about his being an amazing writer is a condescension she’s willing to hand out as long as he isn’t actually a writer with a publishing contract.  Jughead feels dead inside, so he holes up inside the bunker, because he can’t stand to live with Betty right now. 

“It’s the Archies.”  Archie wants the Four to play as the Archies and brings them all coffee.  What Jughead says is very revealing - he doesn’t want to do any of this make-work (it really is just make-work) but he has to or else his girlfriend is going to punish him even more ( “my girlfriend over there is going to put me in the stocks.”)  

KEVIN IS IN THE HEDWIG OUTFIT WITH THE CLOAK AND I AM SO HAPPY. The hotpants and the fishnets and THE WIG and the lipstick.  Just the whole thing! Such a jolt of energy. And of course, Kevin is the best singer on the show.   Also also!! The Serpents Jr Division were a band? Why have we never seen them before?? Where is their practice room? What sort of music do they usually play?? What’s the band name??   Oh and Kevin plants one on Archie and everyone is very, very happy about it (me, Archie, Jughead, Cheryl, everyone).

For some reason they only show Fangs (because he’s not wearing a shirt?) but when Honey is yelling at Kevin after he yanks the speaker cords out of the wall you can see that Sweet Pea is wearing the same blueish eye make up, striped leggings and a tiger print... bathrobe or kimono or whatever that is.  The whole ensemble for this band is amazing. Why is this the only time it exists??

So there’s a sleepover at Betty’s where it’s four girls and Kevin.  And Kevin says he is sad because the variety show was taken from him.  So Jughead is hiding from Betty in the bunker at this point, right?  But that aside - this is a really charming musical number and Kevin looks beautiful in the make up and beehive wig.  In the middle of the song, they switch location to the Choni bedroom.  They do a neat shot where each girl is showing her own face with a handheld mirror to the viewer while Kevin is finishing up his second look.  Then we’re at Veronica’s having a pillow fight.   And the girls suggest something actually useful - that they’ll sing songs from Hedwig as a sign of solidarity to Kevin. That’s really sweet, actually.  

Of course, this is Cheryl, so she sings Sugar Daddy at her principal by ambushing Mr. Honey at the diner.  I love Mr Honey’s performance by the way - I’ve never said that.  He’s so great at being a repressed prig, though I do wonder what would’ve happened if he suddenly got into it.  The girls are counting on his being a prissy stick in the mud here.  Choni dance on the counter at Pop’s and they look amazing.  And also he’s not... wrong?  Hedwig is highly sexualized.  And Mr Honey knows where to hit them - If they defy him, they’ll be barred from senior prom.  For some reason they don’t play the DOOM sound effect about this announcement.  Mr. Honey saying Tootles with a Cheryl amount of stank on it is classic and unimpeachable. 

Hiram has had a fall, and Veronica texts Archie with SOS.  So Archie, who can keep zero secrets, tells Veronica about Hiram’s mishap with the workout.  And then Veronica just goes off on him and yells at him about being short sighted for not forcibly taking Hiram to the hospital, but in the middle of that she says, amazingly, “This my life. This is my father’s life.”  To her, the two are the same.  That’s not very healthy at all. 

Bughead finally have the fight they need to have. I ... I had to take a break for a bit because it’s been an excruciating experience, of watching what the show was actually presenting to me, rather than... whatever the heck I was doing the first time through.  This is what Betty says:

I am trying to make sure that we stay together, that we have a future. I’m going to New Haven in a few months, Jug.  Where are you going to be?  

Um. But.  You. Took. His. Spot. At Yale. Betty.

And then she calls him dead-end Jughead and says she’d prefer a dorm husband (Jughead’s words). But she doesn’t need him to graduate high school to do that, right?  Except I guess having a boyfriend who didn’t graduate on time is just a touch too déclassé , because Betty Cooper has standards.

The song that Jughead sings really, really fits. He’s hollowed out, outside’s a paper shroud,  and this is a song about a botched sex change operation, which put in a more transphobic way is about - castration.  And in the most retrograde way possible, this is in fact what Betty has done.  To be clear - Jughead’s Stonewall dream was a mirage hiding a death cult, and his Yale acceptance was at least 50% obtained for him to keep him strung along until he was sacrificed to the Baxter Bros Perfect Murder Cult.  The act of castration was not letting Jughead have some time to work out what he wants to do from here on out. (I will also note that Gore Vidal never went to college - he did have an acceptance to Harvard but never went - and had a spectacular writing career, so it’s not strictly speaking necessary). The act of castration was in shoving him into the ‘fell behind and needs to catch up’ category, which is factually untrue. 

Jughead starts throwing things, scream-singing.  The other three join in on the song, and I made myself laugh wondering if they were doing a Freudian thing by applying the castration song to Veronica (the daughter being the castrated version of the father).   Everyone is eventually screaming at each other.  I feel sorry for Varchie because there’s no reason for them to be hollering like this, but Bughead are due for  big fight.

Principal Honey is summoned and everyone is in the Hedwig wig. Some of the make up is utterly transformative - Fangs, Sweet Pea, and Reggie are standing side by side and right next to Kevin, on the front lines next to Cheryl and Toni, and it took me a full few seconds to see who they were.   Reggie says he will ‘weaponize these babies’ if he has to, which makes no sense, but I LOVE IT.   This sort of confirms for me that the Southside Serpent Late-Millennial / Gen Z division does not have a single straight member. In response, Honey cancels the variety show altogether. 

 The Archies’ rehearsal is accordingly cancelled, and only Betty has shown up.  Barchie have always been each other’s back up.  Archie asks when the last time they had fun was, and Betty, who could not remember the time she, Jughead and Archie played in the snow or the time she, Jughead and Archie got attacked by leeches at the swimming hole, remembers  something that she and Archie did in the first grade.   (Is this supposed to be because after she had to kill her cat, she’s been splintered? If so, who the hell is Jughead Jones in love with? Does that girl even exist?)

I think Betty and Archie are much more compatible, than Bughead, which only exists because Jughead wants it so desperately (at least, until this episode).  Barchie are violent, ruthless people.  And they’re so at ease with each other, not least because Archie is in no way an academic competitor with Betty. Betty needs to be superior to her partner, and Archie has already said that she’s just too perfect for him to consider as a peer enough to date. (Am ... I... a Barchie?)

The origin of love song is pretty, but I kind of hate this sort of concept, that the ‘right’ relationship should require no work whatsoever.  Jughead is still in the bunker, breaking things.  And what I choose to notice is that each time he’s in there he makes it prettier.  There are lots of votive candles in lots of jars, which makes for some really lovely mood lighting.  This bunker is in the middle of nowhere, so this means each time, he’s remembered to bring bottles and candles to add to the supply.  And Jughead, by himself, in a  metaphorical grave, decides to recommit to Betty, as he always does, on his own, and settles down to do his homework and graduate on time. 

And Barchie kiss.  It’s a beautiful shot. I love the fairy lights in the rehearsal garage of the Andrews house.  I think Fred set that up for Archie. I miss Fred. And I’m not upset about the Barchie kiss, per se, which is weird, because I’ve been careening through the recaps for all the eps leading up to this one because I figured I had to rip the bandage off  fast.    The reason I don’t mind is because this is within character for Betty, who is at best an anti-hero and at worst a villain.

Jughead shows up with the homework,  and Jughead does what he has to do as per the rules of Bughead engagement - he has to say sorry, and be in the wrong, and recast everything that Betty does in the best possible light while abnegating and denigrating himself.  He goes off again to finish the other assignment, and Betty starts weeping. She can’t ever tell Jughead about  the fact that Archie and she sang a  love song joyfully at each other and then kissed when she had Jughead agreed to strict monogamy,  because that would disrupt the Bughead power balance, and she can’t be in the wrong.  That’s where Betty’s suffering comes from - she needs to have the absolute dominant abuser position in Bughead and end the relationship in a way that she is not wrong, because she must always be superior to Jughead, and she’s done something that’s going to cost her that dominance.  Why is she like this? Because Jughead was her settle,  her distant second choice.  He turned out to be a gem, but he was and remains, a settle.

Veronica apologizes to Archie, as she should, because she yelled at her boyfriend and was lashing out, and she apologizes for the precise thing that she did wrong.  I think the point of the Varchie fight was twofold: One was to tell the audience that as long as Hiram is alive, Veronica and Hiram will fully identify with each other.  The other was to show the audience how a couple who got together because they wanted to, having intentionally forsaken all others, interacts after a fight.  

And Betty is revealed as having spookily been watching this entire thing, with Veronica coming in, sitting on Archie’s lap, kissing him. She looks exactly like a serial killer.  This needed the DOOM effect, at that moment, because omg, that was so scary.  Barchie serenade each other across the way, and I am sad but I feel like Betty is trying to comfort me about my experience during this retread.  

She sings:  There’s no mystical design/ No cosmic lover pre-assigned.   Right, and in any case, you don’t think Jughead was that mystical cosmic pre-assigned lover for you. Then Archie takes over:  There’s nothing you can find/ That cannot be found and this feels like the writers talking to the people who care about Riverdale a normal amount, like me.  That there’s enough in here you can find whatever you need to. 

When you’ve got no other choice/ you know you can follow my voice

And anyway, fuck you Barchies, Varchies, Bugheads and all the rareships!  We have a voice and you don’t.  

Cheryl introduces the Archies, and they perform.   So Reggie is sitting with Sweet Pea and Fangs all the time and since when has that been happening??  The Archies give their first and last performance.   Wait Kevin’s in the Archies?  He’s in the Archies.  Why does Jughead know how to play drums?  And absolutely everyone gets a call out except Kevin who has to do it himself.  Reggie as always making the absolute MOST of a nothing line and moment (the YeAh! when he gets a call out) same as Sweet Pea and Fangs.

This song is lovely and bittersweet, and I’m so into it, because all these young people are singing and being happy in possibly the most terrible town in America.  The whole town has turned out for this variety show replacement performance at Pop’s, and it’s hokey and I love how heartfelt it is.  

Then Jughead is thinking about the videotapes again, and is worried about the serial killer because he saw the snuff movie with the masks that Jellybean has graduated to.  And Jellybean, the smartest Jones, has it right. Betty killed Jughead. 

[starrybethany]

I’m Sure - Adam Boqvist Imagine Part 6

Adam Boqvist: I’m Sure Masterlist

Word Count: 3.7K

Taglist: @flowery-mess​ @musiclove-12​

I sit in the lobby of the gynecologist’s office, flipping mindlessly through a parenting magazine. These magazines are so stupid- they’re meant to make parenting look easy and flawless, like nothing could go wrong- spoiler note, they’re wrong.

Your partner could leave you at any moment.

Your child could lie to you.

You could end up unexpectedly pregnant multiple times.

Children aren’t as easy as people like to think that they are. I sigh, throwing the magazine onto the coffee table in front of me and peak at my watch. It’s a minute until the time that my appointment is actually scheduled for. I was hoping to get in earlier to get out earlier. I want to pick Holden up from school and take him to an arcade to relax, since everything has been so hectic lately.

The slow, casual opening of the sliding doors are a sharp contrast to the frazzled, out-of-breath man that runs through them. He pants, looking around frantically at all of the couples staring back at him before locating me.

“Oh good, you haven’t gone in yet,” he gasps, practically throwing himself into the chair next to me and turning his hat around on his head so it’s backwards.

“I thought you were a professional athlete, how are you so out of breath?” I point out, ignoring his comment.

“I’ve been missing my workouts to hang out with you and the boys,” he gives me a flirty smile.

I roll my eyes. “Sorry to be such an inconvenience.”

His smile fades as he looks at me. “Hey, that’s not what I-“”Y/N Y/L/N?” The nurse calls my name at the perfect time.

I jump out of the chair, different from the past couple of weeks where I’ve had to ease myself up due to my growing belly.

“How are you doing today?” The nurse asks as she leads the way down the hallway.

“I’m good, how about you?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

Adam trails behind us as we enter a small exam room. He hovers awkwardly in the doorway as the nurse brings me over to the scale, weighing me and taking down my height. I motion to one of the empty chairs beside the computer and he quickly sits down, an apologetic look on his face.

I can’t help but feel annoyed.

I know he’s new to this and uncomfortable and I should just appreciate him being here in the first place, but holy hell I can’t hold his hand through everything. If he can’t even sit down in a fucking chair by himself, how can I trust him to change a diaper? Or God forbid, if he had to be with the baby by himself?

I’m doubting the man next to me as I take the chair beside him, updating the nurse on my personal information.

“Any concerns?” The nurse asks, typing furiously on the keyboard.

“My back is hurting really bad. With my last pregnancy, I don’t remember it hurting this bad,” I confess, rubbing my lower back as the shooting pain makes its way through my back.

“I will write a note for the doctor. Alright, she’ll be in shortly,” she smiles before leaving.

I feel like I’m practically begging her with my eyes to stay. I don’t want to be left alone with Adam, I know I should get used to it because he sounds like he wants to be involved in the boys lives now, but there’s something preventing me from feeling fully comfortable around him.

“What was it like with Holden?”

His question snaps me out of my thoughts, and I turn my head towards him, making eye contact with him. I feel taken aback every time we make eye contact- it’s like I’m seeing his blue eyes for the first time all over again.

“What was what like with Holden?” You’ve missed out on a lot of moments, you’re going to have to be specific here, buddy.

“Your pregnancy,” he shifts awkwardly. “You said you have more backaches this, uh, time, than you did when you were, um-“”You can say the word pregnant, Adam.”

He clenches his jaw. “Fine. You said you have more backaches this pregnancy than when you were pregnant with Holden, so what else is different? There, are you happy I said it? Pregnant.”

“Whatever,” I cross my arms over my chest, excitement for this appointment ruined by Adam’s shitty attitude. He’s shown me time and time again that he’s still selfish, so tell me again, why am I allowing him to be here?

“Well?”

“Well what?” I question, looking at him in disbelief.

“What’s different?” He asks like I’m the stupid one.

“Oh my God, Adam, I still get nauseous at the smell of scrambled eggs, my feet hurt more when I was pregnant with Holden than with this baby, but this baby makes my back hurt more, and this baby loves to kick way, way, way fucking more than Holden did. There, are you happy I said it?” I repeat his question. “Do you feel like asking about my pregnancy with Holden makes up for you not being there?”

He’s quiet. We sit in this sharp tension for a good five minutes before the doctor arrives, neither of wanting to say anything. Or maybe it’s that we just don’t know what to say.

“Hi, how are we feeling today?” Dr. Rocht questions as she enters the room.

“Hungry,” I respond, dreaming about the local sub shop down the street from the women’s clinic.

Adam gives me a look of disbelief, like he can’t believe that I would even be thinking about food after the fight we just had. But hey, the baby’s hungry.

“Why don’t we have you climb on the exam table so we can get you an ultrasound of this growing baby, huh?” She requests.

I nod, standing up and climbing onto the table, lifting my shirt so that my small bump is in view.

I see Adam’s eyes widen at the sight of it, like he didn’t actually realize that I was pregnant, but I ignore him.

“So did you open the envelope to see what you’re having?” She makes small talk as she preps the equipment.

“It’s a boy,” I smile with the news.

“A boy,” Dr. Rocht repeats with a smile of her own, “Is your son excited to have a younger brother?”

“He is! I think he would’ve been excited either way, but I think he’s really looking forward to having a baby brother.”

She rubs the gel on my lower stomach and I’m silent as I stare anxiously at the ultrasound screen, waiting for the picture of my baby boy to show up.

There he is. With his little button nose, tiny lips, and the outline of his body, I cherish it every time I get to see him. He’s really there- he’s really inside of me. Using my body and the nutrients that I give him, he’s growing.

A wide, cheesy grin spreads across my face as I see him.

“Are you okay there, dad?” Dr. Rocht’s voice snaps me out of the moment I’m having with myself.

I turn to look at Adam, seeing him ball his hands into fists and rub at his eyes, sniffling along with the motion. “Yeah, it’s just, uh, the first time that. I’ve seen this.”

A pane of guilt hits my chest with the way I’ve been treating Adam. He’s been out of his kids’ lives for the past thirteen years, yes, but he’s trying now. And shouldn’t he get some credit for that?

The gynecologist asks me a question, turning my attention back to her. She gives me some advice about how to deal with the backaches and prints out three pictures of the ultrasound. One for me, one for Adam, and one for Holden. I tuck two of them into my purse and give the other to Adam, heading to the front desk to make my next appointment right away.

The blonde man walks past me as I talk to the receptionist, out through the front doors and into the parking lot. My emotions have been all over the place all day- I’m aware of that- but walking away from me after asking me to be involved in your sons lives and crying at the ultrasound just seems downright disrespectful and inconsiderate.

His actions clearly aren’t matching up with his words.

I walk into the parking lot, unlocking my car.

“Y/N.” I look over to see Adam waiting on a bench outside of the building, looking back at me.

“What, Adam?” I question, just wanting to get my sub, eat it, and take a nap. I feel so drained from the last couple of days. Although this may be benefiting my children, this whole process with Adam is entirely exhausting to me.

“I’m looking for an apartment. Here, in Philadelphia. For the next three months,” he informs me.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, speaking slowly. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?” I can tell by his tone that he’s instantly defensive.

That’s why, I want to respond. Because you aren’t willing to listen or understand anything other than your opinion.

“Adam, I just,” I sigh, shifting my purse strap. “Holden still hasn’t decided whether he wants a relationship with you, and I don’t know when he will make a decision. And- and there’s nothing you can do for me or this baby right now.”

“I just came to an ultrasound with you,” he points out.

“And you started an argument with me while in there.” I wave my hands around for emphasis, probably looking like a crazy person but needing to get my point across. “You stress me out. And it’s not good for my health or the baby’s health. I’m sorry, but I think you should return to Chicago. I’ll send you weekly updates.”

I get into my car, knowing that his eyes are following me, but his mouth doesn’t move. He’s finally starting to understand what I’m saying.

~

One of the good things about having a baby bump, beside it meaning that the baby is growing healthily, is that you can balance things on it. Like right now, when I have three stacks of plastic cups resting on my stomach as I carry them from the back to the front.

I set the cups on the counter, bending over to put them away.

“Okay, Y/N, Rachel, Marcella, and I have been talking, and we really like Sebastian,” Lia informs me, sliding her phone into her back pocket.

Marcella asked for the day off and Rachel had to leave early to go to a doctor’s appointment, so it’s just me and Lia this afternoon. It’s fine, it’s a slow Wednesday anyways.

“Who’s Sebastian? Is that the boy you’re kind of dating?” I question. The three girls are texting each other all of the time so they’re always caught up on each other’s lives, but I’m a little slower when it comes to that.

“No, for the second baby,” she beams, “Sebastian is the name of our favorite character from Vampires Defending the Nation. Have you seen it?”

“Nope,” I respond, knowing it’s probably some rip off of The Vampire Diaries.

“It’s so good! You have to see it,” she gushes, “So, have you thought about other names for the baby yet?”

“Not really,” I confess. “I mean, I still have another four months to think about it.”

“Hey, Y/N,” a familiar voice interrupts my conversation with Lia.

I turn around to face the customer, sighing when I see Adam standing expectantly on the other side of the counter.

“What can I get for you, Adam?” I step up to the cash register.

“I found an apartment and paid the down payment today. Just thought you should know,” he tells me.

“So, one large caramel Frappuccino,” I try to keep the annoyance out of my voice as I tap the order onto the cash register.

“And I wanted to invite you and Holden over for dinner tonight.”

“Extra whip, that’ll be an additional dollar.” My fingers jap the register harder now.

“Come on, Y/N, please. Just talk to him for me,” he pleads, pulling cash out of his wallet despite never ordering the Frappuccino.

“It is not my job to fix this for you,” I snap at him, lowering my voice once I notice other customers begin to look at us. “You got yourself into this, you can get yourself out of it. I’m sick of you fucking up and it all falling onto me, Boqvist.”

“Just tell him to respond to my texts, please.”

“It’s like you never hear a word I say,” I shake my head, exhausted from his attitude. “Your total is $5.47.”

He hands a fifty-dollar bill to me and I make sure to avoid contact with his hand, not wanting to end up in the same situation we ended up in last time we were in this café together.

“Keep the change.”

I hand him back two twenty-dollar bills, four singles, two quarters, and three pennies.

Keep the change my ass. Do you think throwing money at me will get me to change my mind?

“Coming right up,” I give him a fake smile, turning around to make his drink.

As I hand him the large cup, he leans in closer to me. I feel like I’m holding my breath, like if I release the oxygen from my lungs it’ll tangle with the oxygen from his lungs and we’ll be connected again.

“Just think about dinner, okay?” He gives me a soft smile before the front door chimes after him.

“Is that baby daddy?” Lia’s voice startles me out of my frozen state.

I nod, not trusting my voice to speak.

“Wow, he is hot,” she exclaims. When I give her a look of disapproval, she adds, “And an asshole. Total asshole.”

~

“Mom,” Holden hollers, stumbling down the steps. I pause Vampires Defending the Nation at the perfect time since Holden stops right in front of the TV.

“What’s up, bud?”

“Adam told me that he wants to buy me the new Halo game,” he states excitedly.

I keep myself from rolling my eyes. First he tries to pay me to talk to Holden for him at the café and now he’s buying Holden’s love by getting him a new video game.

Does this man think that money just fixes everything?

“That’s nice, honey,” I try to give him a smile, but it probably looks more like a grimace.

“And, uh,” he suddenly looks shy, making me wonder what Adam told him this time. I never know with Adam- I can never predict him. “And he told me that he, um, invited us over for dinner. And, uh, I would like to go, if, if you want to.”

I study him. He’s not fiddling with his fingers, he’s avoiding eye contact with me not because he’s lying, but because he’s unsure of my reaction, he’s not biting his lip. He’s not feeling pressured into doing this by Adam, it’s something that he really wants to do.

“Are you sure?” I question, giving him the chance to change his mind.

“I’m sure, mom.”

“Alright,” I pull out my phone slowly to text Adam that we’d be there in an hour, giving Holden the final chance to change his mind.

He doesn’t. And now I have to see Adam in less than an hour, something that I’m dreading, yet somehow deep inside, looking forward to.

~

Adam’s apartment is only twenty minutes away from our small townhouse, but it’s a stark difference to how we live. Whereas the brick outside of our townhouse is from the early 1900s and the paint is peeling (the landlord refuses to pay me back if I paint it myself- and I’m stubborn too, so I refuse to do it for free) while I remember Adam’s apartment building being built last year and there’s a security guard at the entrance who greets us.

I reach out to grab Holden’s hand. I’m not sure if it’s more for me or him, but I think we both need the comfort of each other.

The receptionist gets clearance from Adam to allow us up to his apartment and I hesitantly knock on the fake wood door, stepping back and waiting for it to open up.

It swings open, a beaming Adam Boqvist on the other side. “Glad you guys could make it, come on in.”

We walk into the apartment hesitantly, taking off our shoes.

“So, it has three bedrooms and two bathrooms, I figured a room for me, a room for Holden, and a room for the new baby, and uh, I made spaghetti for dinner,” the hockey player rambles, hurrying over to the stove to stir the steaming pot.

“No room for you,” Holden murmurs, teasingly, nudging my arm with his.

I roll my eyes at that, but his father clearly hears his comment, because he responds, “Oh, I was thinking she would share a room with me.”

Just as I’m about to bite back with a sassy response, he takes the pot off of the stove to dump the boiling water out. I take the time to slyly check out the apartment.

The walls are a stark white- something that he’ll regret once this baby gets into his trouble-making-toddler phase, the appliances are all brand new, and the furniture looks very modern.

Truthfully, it doesn’t look comfortable to live in. It looks like something out of a magazine.

“Dinner’s ready,” Adam announces.

We pile our plates with food, and I take a seat at the table, Holden sitting across from me and Adam sitting next to me.

“A water for you and the baby, a water for Holden,” Adam states, setting a glass down beside each of our plates before taking a seat next to me. “So, Holden, how was school today?”

I zone out as my son answers.

In the seat next to Holden, a girl a couple of years younger than him would be smiling at me. Holden would reach over to pick up the piece of garlic bread that fell in her lap, setting it on her napkin on the table. A high chair would be at the end of the table next to Adam, and in between bites of his spaghetti, he would feed the waiting, hungry baby.

That baby would be an accident. But we would laugh and joke about half of our babies being accidents, not in the way we do now, but in a joking, loving way.

A way that would show, yes, this wasn’t planned, but we’re in this together. We’re always in this together.

It’s what could have been. We could have had a nice house that we designed together, three kids that were by both of us, hell, even a dog. We could have been together. We could have done this together.

“Mom?”

I look at Holden with questioning eyes. He gives me a look of concern, nodding towards Adam. “Adam asked you a question.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, meeting Adam’s eyes. He’s always been good at telling my emotions, and that’s why he can press my buttons so easily. But now he just looks like he wants to comfort me, wrap me in his arms and never let me go.

“Sorry, what did you ask?”

“Are you alright?” He mumbles like we’re the only people in the room, ignoring my question.

“I’m fine, um, the baby’s just kicking me really hard,” I lie, hoping that even if he doesn’t believe it, he’ll accept it.

He nods slowly, a tell-tale sign that he doesn’t believe my lie, but he’ll let it slide. “I asked you who you were working with today.”

“Oh, that’s Lia,” I answer. We make small talk for the rest of dinner, but I feel concern oozing both from the man beside me and the boy across from me.

I just need to get through this dinner, then I can go home and sleep. And sleep. And sleep.

I pull the shoe onto my foot, losing my balance and beginning to tumble forward. A hand shoots out to catch me, steadying me.

“Thank you,” I murmur as I rise to my full height, planting my feet firmly on the ground.

“Gotta be careful, there,” Adam mumbles back, arm still holding onto mine. We stand there in a comfortable silence for the first time in thirteen years. I don’t want it to end, but then I remember that Holden still has homework to do, and I have to do some things before work tomorrow.

“We should get going now,” I state, moving towards the door.

“Y/N, wait,” his voice stops me. I turn around to face him. “Um, I just wanted to let you know that I’m trying. And I know I’ve been saying that for a while and I haven’t really been acting like it, but I rented this apartment, and I cooked this dinner and I’m trying to be there for Holden because I haven’t been there for him.

“And I’m trying to be there for you, too. Not just because you’re carrying my child, but because you’ve been supermom for the past thirteen years. You stepped up when I couldn’t, for the both of us, and it’s just, you just,” he takes a deep breath. “You deserve the world.” I feel something tug at my heart.

“I’m really sorry. I’m sorry for not being there then, I’m sorry for not being here now when I have been here, I’m sorry for everything. And I’m going to do everything in my power to show you how sorry I am.”

I nod, soaking in his words. He’s apologizing. He’s realizing his actions- or lack thereof. And now we just need to see if his actions will match up with this grand speech he just gave me.

“You better,” I say quietly, walking out of his new apartment.

“What took you so long?” Holden asks from his spot in front of the elevator.

“I had to talk to your dad.”

“Was it- was it a good talk?” He questions, eyes asking an unasked question.

I nod. “It was a good talk, Holden.”