#primate actors

[is-the-primate-vid-cute]

You may have answered this before elsewhere, but I saw your ask about the Fablemans and as a film fan I'm genuinely curious. Why is it wrong to use a primate animal actor when other types of animal actors are used? I understand that a video on the internet is potentially exploitative. But animal actors are supposed to be handled by experts and treated humanely. There's at least supposed to be a regulatory system there. Plus, I would think it would be better to use a real practical animal for believability/interaction (and they'd probably unfortunately be treated better than CG people who aren't unionized. Though animatronics could possibly have been used.) Especially in an age where practical effects seem to be a dying art partly due to that last reason. So as long as it can be done safely and humanely for all involved, why not hire an animal actor primate rather than fake it?

Thank you in advance and love your blog!

The problem with primate animal "actors" is that there is no way for it to be done safely and humanely. Animal actors that are horses, dogs, rats, etc. are fine because domesticated species have symbiotic relationships with people that allow us to work together in a way that works for everyone involved. In fact, acting can act as enrichment for some animals. I would even say that some non-domesticated animals could serve roles in film and television provided their role was basically just existing on camera, but at this point it probably makes more sense to use CGI. This is long, so I'll break it down.

Primates in Human Situations

Primates are not, and will likely never be, domesticated. They are very intelligent and caring for them properly means replicating their lives in the wild as closely as possible and above all, prioritizing relationships with other members of their species. In all the primate welfare research I have done, one thing I have consistently heard is that the best thing for a primate is another of their species. Social bonds are critically important for them and even very traumatized primates can become much better adjusted and confident just by having a mate. Removing a primate from their family/social group, unless done for the necessary health and well being of the primate, is unethical and cruel. Primate actors are taken from their mothers as infants to be raised by trainers so that they imprint on people and exhibit "desirable" behaviours and are trainable. While they may interact with others of their species if the trainer has several, they are raised and taught to prioritize humans to an unhealthy degree.

Additionally, imprinting on humans makes it more difficult for primates to form relationships with their own kind. We have talked before about how different primate and human body language and communication is, and primate actors are very used to exhibiting certain behaviours, doing tricks, and acting in specific ways to get approval and treats. This leaves them unprepared for natural inner-species interactions and can prevent the forming of meaningful relationships. Even a very well cared for and humanely treated primate actor is essentially losing the ability to form meaningful close relationships with their own kind, including intimate partnerships, which will impact their life even long after retirement from the spotlight. It's unfair to deny a primate the ability and opportunity to bond with others for human entertainment.

Retiring Primate Actors

While some species of primates have longer careers than others, the vast majority of primate actors including all apes will have to be retired when they reach adolescence. Puberty is difficult enough for humans, but for a primate it poses risks as increased aggression, becoming territorial, and sexual development can be dangerous. Primates raised to perform will behave instinctively even when trained not to, and the added stress of becoming incompatible with the only environment they have ever known can be traumatic. Many primates raised by people as pets or in show business develop strong attachments to their owners/trainers that cause them to become aggressive to others that are close to them, and will present sexually to the owner/trainer. Of course, this is a problem for everyone involved, and being sexually rejected can lead some primates to become extremely frustrated, upset, and even self harm.

As such, most primate actors do not have careers into adulthood and have to be replaced by younger counterparts. This creates a cycle of captive breeding where infants are taken from their mothers to be raised by humans, become attached and learn human behaviours, become alienated from humans in adolescence, and are retired in young adulthood with no way to connect with their peers. Even in a best case scenario where the owner/trainer is incredibly knowledgeable and humane, the animal suffers.

For those that do not retire at adolescence, things are not much better as they have a life filled with stressful situations and unpredictable days where they cannot act on instinct. Primate trainer/owners have to keep their animals from behaving "inappropriately" around others, so add to that a life of not being able to choose when/where to defecate, not being able to masturbate or groom the pelvic area, and risking getting in trouble (even if it is only social disapproval) for exhibiting natural instinctual behaviour.

Humans on Set

So far I've focused on the primate actor, but the other actors are important too: the humans that inevitably come into contact with the primate actor on and off screen. Non-human primates are not built for on set environments-- frankly humans aren't either-- but we are able to understand what is happening and have a choice as to whether we participate in stressful and noisy filming environments. Primate actors are not given a choice and are brought into unpredictable and stressful situations without being able to understand what is happening or why. In a best case scenario the animal is brought on set for as short a period as time as possible and accommodations are made to make it calm and comfortable, the animal is put in costume, does the scene, and is given a treat and returned home. Not only does this rarely happen, but even when it does the environment is still one that has a lot of variables that are difficult to control.

Primates are easily stressed, and stress can cause aggression, which can be unsafe for the humans involved. Even in as controlled a set as possible, things can still happen. A monkey on an actors shoulder can get curious about an earring and rip it out, get tangled in a costume and lash out, get a drop of water on it and become extremely upset. We have previously discussed the Pirates of the Caribbean film franchise, in which a capuchin actor became agitated backstage and mauled a makeup artist who needed surgery to have her earlobe re-attached. It is unfair for the primate, but also unfair to everyone else working on the set to have to account for the possibility of being hurt by an animal operating on human training but wild instincts.

Regulation and Protection

While this is all written in best possible faith, the truth is that the actual treatment of animal actors varies. While there are permits required to own primates as performers and it is not legal to keep them as pets in California, there will be incidents and animals that will slip through the cracks especially when money is involved. I too do not trust studios to treat human workers humanely, and animals are even more vulnerable despite the legal measures and persons involved in ensuring they are treated well. At the end of the day, there is no reason that a primate needs to be an actor. CGI (preferably by unionized, well treated workers) should replace all primate actors so that they can live their own lives. The one exception I make is for projects such as Zoboomafoo, where the primate is unobtrusively filmed expressing natural behaviours in its own environment.

[leolaroot]

carefully slapping new key words into my content filter until im no longer seeing that mutuals special little man anymore.

[docgold13]

Heroes & Villains The DC Animated Universe - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Gorilla Grodd

The villainous Grodd heralds from Gorilla City, a secluded citadel populated by super intelligent apes.  Therein Grodd was an unscrupulous scientist who built a special helmet that enabled him to control the minds of others. The Gorilla City security force stopped him from using it in the city, but he escaped capture and eventually wound up in Central City, where he ran afoul of Green Lantern and the Flash. Following a fierce battle, Grodd was seemingly rendered harmless after The Flash ‘crossed a few wires’ in his mind control helmet and tricked him into using it, electrifying the primate’s brain and rendering him comatose. 

Upon recovering, Grodd found that he no longer needed the helmet to control minds. This facilitated his escape from confinement and he began devising a plan to take down the Justice League.  This plan entailed recruiting a group of super villains, a ‘secret society’ whose abilities matched up well against The League.  Meanwhile, he used his mental powers to subtly and progressively turn the League against one another, make them irritated by and mistrusting of one another.  This had the effect of weakening the League, causing them to not work well as a team; thus giving the villains a sizable advantage in battle. Fortunately, the League were able to overcome this deficient and Grodd’s forces were defeated.     

Next Grodd formed the Legion of Doom, a conglomerate of super villains who worked in concert together so to better match the newly expanded Justice League.  Grodd insisted on recruiting Lex Luthor into the Legion, seeing him as too significant a variable not to be folded in; a decision that would prove to be Grodd’s downfall.  

Following a botched scheme that involved Grodd’s temporarily turning the earth’s human population into apes, Luthor succeeded in a coup d'etat and took over the Legion, imprisoning Grodd.  The gorilla’s one-time paramour, Tala, freed Grood and he staged an effort to seize back control of the Legion.  Yet he failed once more and Grodd perished in his battle against Luthor.  

Actor Powers Booth provided the voice for Gorilla Grodd, with the sinister simian first appearing in the twelfth episodes of the first seasons of Justice League, “The Brave and The Bold Part I.’  

[t34-mt]

hi, i hope you don't mind this question, but what sport does nau'stikah exactly play?

surprised an anon knows he plays sports, i don't remember if i even mentioned it on my blog honestly? also no i don't mind character asks im just shy :>

organized combats in the style of southern momui'oma region, specifically Nuinuk colony, which is the biggest momui'oma colony and holds the biggest festivals of the region. Some would argue out of every coastal group that Nuinuk festivals are the best to attend to, a must even. The main sport nau'stikah practices are organized theatrical combats, usually taking place during the renowned festival month where they're presented several times a week, the schedule being quite tight sometimes for the actors.

although theatrical combats are held all year, but the most prized and memorable happens at this month which is momui'oma's new cycle celebration. Other combats will be held for small festivities of the colony and do not attract so many voyagers. Passing by people will be here sometimes because of Nuinuk being a big colony in general. other sports are mainly a hobby because he enjoys physical activity (and showing off but that's a detail he wont admit). One of them being wrestling which is a sport born in northern regions, believed to have been started in polar maanul groups. It was imported in Nuinuk via northern immigrants. the wrestling is different and incorporates things from the southern continent theater standards thus creating its own sub genre in momui'oma. It works quite close to staged wrestling we have!

organized combats are mainly staged, wearing gears that look closer to a festival costume but still have the required padding on the stomach area to endure talon kicks. While the talon kicks wont cut them, they still can get out of here with nasty blue marks if the combat was intense. The shows are over the top, and incorporate almost dance-like performances too. Since they happen during the theater play acting is part of the sport too. The combat recreates either folklore or mythology tales, or made up storyline between fighters! The combatants are seen as popular sports figures among colony but the favorites will hold an almost "unbeatable near living diety status. Which is what nau'stikah immigrated here to achieve, and he did! he did acquire his own unique title as many fan favorites do. His being "fire catcher".

talon kicking combat is a thing worldwide, with different rules and gear worn, and levels of dangerosity in it. For example talon kicking in plateau region inside the mountain range is quite violent. little to no gear worn, they're short, around a minute or less but quite damaging. They firstly originated from a plateau kyhuine courting practice, where "female" members would fight violently for the prettiest "male" (i put " " because the way their concept of gender works there isn't through assignment via birth sex like humans generally do) as a show off of their capabilities, and while that practice is still alive it also derived into a sport with rules. But the intensity of it is still very present.

babbling -> i still want to develop one that requires swinging (not throwing) an instrument. But at the same time, i have to make a diagram of arm movement and how far they can move them around. since their arms arent on a ball socket joint, they can't do a full circle rotation. they can move it up to a certain degree and rotating it backwards is very limited. I think id be enough for what i have in mind though. Their butterfly joint is limited but not bad though. Also if they ever had sports that require throwing it would be thrown like a frisbee, again using the butterfly joint instead.

people forget this often but humans are like little freaks that are extremely good at throwing things and other primates arent able to do it as well as us. a lot of our sports when you think about it revolves around running around and throwing things, which are the 2 things our bodies excell at. and i think its fun and cool, humans are cool in their own ways ok. anyways, for maanuls and kyhuines their sports generally will also revolve around running around, length jumps and talon kicking

[lint-beetle4]

Do you think Macaque would struggle with over sexualizing or objecting himself during and after the brotherhood?

The Actor's Performance (Brotherhood AU)

I mixed a few of these prompts together, but they worked out pretty well together. Enjoy!

Warning:

Allusions to sexual abuse below

The Six-Eared Macaque was a performer at heart, a dramatic soul who told stories of the past, present and future. For where there were secrets held, the celestial primate would listen away. Should those secrets be told is a story for later.

As an actor, Macaque knew what his audience craved, what they wanted to hear.

So, Macaque would transform into the character his audience demanded.

It seemed the audience craved that the celestial primate change his form, an easy feat. Oh, how they crowd him with such enthusiasm, how their smiles gleam with shining teeth and restrained hands.

The secret to such a performance was well-known to many, after all, talent can’t hide for long.

A special necklace would always be wrapped around the primate’s neck, invisible chains clattered and shook against the ground as the Six-Eared Macaque danced and told his tales like strings were fixated along his limbs. 

“Behold, the amazing actor, a warrior of many talents!” The audience cried, their cheers a harmonious chorus in the actor’s ears. “Look at how he entertains us, look at how he works so hard!”

The concrete was still as cold as ever, but the audience demanded his presence. He couldn’t turn his head against such a willing crowd.

“Warrior,” A sharp voice whispered behind him. “Change into the form I so crave.”

So he did.

“Warrior,” The voice demanded again, its hands ghosting along the actor’s dark, messy fur. “Perform your dance, let us see those talents you so claim.”

So he did, ignoring the burn of his legs and the stretch of holes all too unfamiliar to him.

“Such a drag,” The voice spat, waves of twisted pleasure within its tone. “You claim to be able to entertain, but your performance was weak.”

“I can be better.” Macaque pleaded, crawling to the audience that scorned him with insults. “I’ll be better.”

“Then prove it.”

His body hurt, everything ached. Blood splattered against the floors, sweat trailed down his face, tears had long run dry.

The voice spoke up, dull and uncaring, a task that had to be done. “You’ve done well.”

Another voice, deeper and slower, had beckoned the actor. “Warrior, show me your true form.”

So he did, snails crawled down his spine, their slime choking him with the sensation of pure wrongness, of being different.

“Warrior,” The voice was kind, sharp teeth glistened. “Come to me. Entertain me for a while.”

So he did, feeling warmth pool inside of him, dripping out of the actor like the snails that lingered in him. The voice was kind today, allowing a short performance.

“Well done, Warrior.” The voice praised. “You’ve certainly made a great show today.”

Silence followed, the floor cold, his wounds stinging. He felt dirty. He felt tired–but he did well today. The actor had proven his talents, the audience clapped for him.

“Macaque.”

Wukong.

“Hey, look at me.” 

Wukong. 

“There you are–stay still, I’ll heal you.”

The sun was bright, ginger flames softly running through the actor– a promise to finally be cared for, to be the audience for once–a protective glow being cast through the faded, cracked moon. Macaque was lifted up, feeling the sun’s flames gently run through him, allowing him to finally spark and shine like the actor craved.

His body ached, but against the warm glow of the sun, the aches softened, and Macaque felt his mind cheer.

“You did so well, Mi–Macaque. You did so well, Warrior.”

Ah, his heart ached again, but the audience was so gentle, so rewarding. They cheered in his ears, praise after praise and gentle hands stroking through his fur. The curtain finally shut as the lights stung the actor’s eyes, threatening tears to emerge once again.

Macaque woke up feeling empty, feeling used, but pride still swelled his chest.

He had been moved to his bedroom, new outfits and strange devices on a nearby table. Macaque stood on shaky legs, forcing his legs to move normally as he exited his room. He had to give it to Wukong–the stone monkey always cleaned him up well.

“Ah, Macaque.” Azure’s voice was the same, deep and uncaring. His expression hid something. “I see you are awake and as lively as ever.”

Macaque nodded briefly to Azure, his voice unwilling to come out. Peng rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he left the room to discuss something with Yellow Tusk.

“Have you found your gifts in your room? We searched for a long time to see what would fit you best.”

“Yeah,” Macaque nodded once more, his voice forcing itself to be steady in the presence of Azure. “What are those for anyways?”

“Ah, nothing special.” Azure chuckled, his smile laced with a certain bitterness that tugged at Macaque’s invisible leash. “Simply a gift to show how much we appreciate your work.”

Macaque’s face flushed slightly, a deep pit in his stomach. “Ah, well–Thanks.”

“Thank you, Macaque.” Azure set a heavy, burning hand onto Macaque’s shoulder–the actor cringed from within–with a wide, genuine smile. “I hope to see you later tonight.”

The request lingered in the air. The actor couldn’t refuse an audience.

The day went by in a blur, things to check up on, lists and plans to discuss. Macaque was more a fighter than a planner, as much as he loved a good strategy, he was more similar to Wukong in the way both of them think on their toes rather than before a fight.

Macaque had spent his time checking up on Wukong’s subjects, ensuring the safety of the children who have yet to see the battles that sometimes plagued the mountain, making sure that the elderly are comfortable and away from any threat that may linger in the shadows, and most importantly, listening to the world around them, hearing heaven’s chatter as they discuss the Brotherhood’s rise in power.

The celestials were on their toes, each of them yelling for the best strategy possible.

Macaque grinned, taking note of each plan they had to discuss.

Being in such silence was blissful, nothing but Macaque–A warrior, but not their warrior–and the sounds of the world and its inhabitants. 

It would be a while before Wukong arrived from checking in with his generals, so Macaque took the time to simply linger in the shadows, intent on staying away from the rest of his sworn brothers as much as he could. He wasn’t ready to perform yet, frankly, he wanted to stop it all, but a simple clause prevented him from doing so, a loophole that Azure and Macaque had forgotten. The dark simian hoped the clause would remain forgotten.

As night fell, Macaque felt the tugging at his collar. With a sigh, he left the mountain top that he hid in and appeared at the entrance of the brotherhood’s living quarters–some might call it home, even.

Azure and Peng glanced at Macaque patiently, merely headed upstairs–the actor sighed in relief, the concrete would be saved for later.

Macaque had made a quick change in his room, admiring the silk that now adorned his body. It looked good, Macaque thought, he looked rather pretty. The collar tugged again, the actor finished his costume quickly, taking one last glance at his body before leaving to entertain the impatient audience–waiting too long meant blood would be spilled again.

“Liu-Er,” A deep voice had called to him, almost making Macaque jump. “They asked for you again?”

“Ah,” Macaque flushed in the presence of one of his closer brothers, Demon Bull King, “Yeah, you know how it is–war preparations make them..antsy, is all.”

Demon Bull King only nodded in understanding, “Please don’t hesitate to come to me when you need.”

The two parted with a nod, and Macaque rushed to their upstairs room, donned with a mighty tree, soft lights and plush items tossed everywhere. The actor felt sick to his stomach, the tenderness of the room feeling like an overripe plum, squishy and filled with bitter juices.

“Warrior,” The actor turned to Peng who laid back in front of him. “Soothe me, I’m tired from all this work.”

So, the actor had serenaded his audience, hands guiding along the body of an intricate tale, pushing along events and scenes that set up for the eventual rising action.

Peng grunted under his breath, and Macaque–No, the Warrior, the actor, anything but him–had pushed further, his lips spilled various words, trailing and touching upon the hardening, thickening plot. The actor felt his audience urge him on-hands gripping at the sides of his head, pushing lower– and the actor had nearly choked on his words, forcing himself to continue as the audience continued to clap and move the story forward.

A duel effort, and the climax had come, the story slowing itself to end.

The actor swallowed the praises easily–bitter, disgusting on his tongue–and soon a deep voice called out to him.

“What a wonderful show, Warrior. Come here, so that we can perform together once more.”

The waltz began, the audience twirling and wrapping around Mac–the actor– with words that threatened to soothe and comfort the slightly overwhelmed performer. Yet, he continued to be surrounded, to be filled with praises and encouragement. It was hard inside of him, rods of light and metal that penetrated deeply, shaking his core with their intense vibrations.

Macaque didn’t even realize they did that, didn’t expect that the gifts would lead him to the bedroom shaking and trembling at the feet of his masters.

The actor felt himself being emptied quickly, pain and surprise overcoming his body before he was filled again with a warm stretch. The actor continued his dance, bobbing along to the beat of the music as his hips rocked and swayed with his partner. He couldn’t speak, words filled with lyrics that muffled against his lips, and his legs hurt, being gripped by the melody around them.

The duet struck at a chord, and Macaque stiffened with a yelp, feeling Azure thoroughly punishing a sensitive spot within him. Peng continued to thrust into his mouth, and Macaque felt tears pricking at his eyes with how his gag reflex was being abused and teased with such cruelty.

The duet was finally over as Macaque choked and coughed against semen that had been poured down him and dripped out of him uncomfortably. Azure’s hand pat Macaque’s head, nails briefly scratching at his scalp. Macaque’s limbs screamed out as he forced them to move, the room empty with the scent of lust and sweat. 

Macaque left silently, feeling faint disgust running through him.

[gunsandspaceships]

About Hypocrisy

You call Tony hypocrite and still blame him for weapon manufacturing and stuff. Ok, let’s talk  about your own hypocrisy.

You blame Tony for who he was before becoming Iron Man – for having a weapon manufacturing company. Yes, he was creating weapons. He actually never stopped, because after Afghanistan he shut down manufacturing and selling weaponry to US Military and any other sides, but started to make it for himself, SHIELD and the Avengers.

But let’s figure out first if we should blame him for who he was at the first place. Many of us have cars, right? But cars kill a lot of people. “Each year, 1.35 million people are killed on roadways around the world” (https://www.cdc.gov/injury/features/global-road-safety/index.html). And don’t forget how cars affect the environment, killing more millions of people, animals and plants. Do we want them? Yes, cars make our lives faster and more convenient. Do we actually need them? Not really, because we have other ways to move around. Most of the human history we didn’t have cars and we didn’t extinct because of it. When we get behind a wheel, we are well aware that we are getting behind the wheel of a weapon that can kill. But we do it anyway. Not out of necessity, but for convenience. When all these 1.35 millions die each year – who is responsible for their deaths? Car manufacturers, or we? The main law of economics - demand creates supply.

The same story with weapon manufacturing. There is a demand – we always have conflicts with each other. Long time ago we started to create first hand extensions to hunt better and to kill others better – handaxes, spears, bows and arrows. Throughout history we never put our weapons down. Many things we enjoy today were created for purpose to kill. Great Leonardo da Vinci when he was not painting, was creating weapons. Do you blame him?

Car and weapon manufacturers are the same ordinary people like we are. They live the same human lives, they serve themselves and others, by creating things we want them to create for us. So, we probably should start thinking about our own deep hypocrisy, that we all share. We don’t usually think about wellbeing of every person around/in our city/in the country/on Earth. Right? Because we can’t.

Our brains cannot comprehend the immensity. There are 8 billion people on our planet. They are all real, they are all alive, all can feel pain, all can die. But evolutionarily, we lived most of our history in small groups of primates. Usually we can’t deal with more than 20-30 people. We can keep in our mind that there are more, but we can’t understand that they are all real people. So we don’t care. We have our one life to live, and that’s what we do - we mind our own business.

And that’s what Tony did before Afghanistan – the same we all do. Do we usually have superheroes in our world? Nope, right? But we all have ourselves – car and weapon manufacturers, politicians, advertisers, fashion designers, actors and singers, useless football players, to whom we pay huge salaries to entertain us. Instead of giving this money to treat terminally ill children, for example.

So the next time you have the urge to call Tony a hypocrite, or blame him for being an ordinary person, look in the mirror.

[sketching-shark]

Hello! I know you aren't a big fan of LMK, but there's a sideblog run by @digitalagepulao named @digitaldoeslmk that is doing a rewrite of the show by following book canon, and their ideas and art is FIRE so please have a look if you have the time. Also, I remember seeing a few lines that Sun Wukong has medical training during his years of learning. Would he count as having a degree in medicine in modern terms? How is he during childbirth? Do you think he'd be able to do a human childbirth successfully? Have a great month, enjoy your food, and don't forget to sleep early regularly!

As a matter of fact @angstandhappiness I am recently familiar with @digitaldoeslmk and let me just say WEH @digitalagepulao has done an amazing job at creating one of the most fun and interesting Monkie Kid aus out there!

I'm honestly really appreciative of the though and care they've put into a version of the lego show where JTTW happened according to Wu Cheng'en's version, and particularly the way this means that A) Sun Wukong is a genuinely good mentor & that therefore there's many a lovely shifu-tudi moment between him and MK (plus SWK is his book canon size here so that's an automatic improvement over LMK canon lmao), B) Red Son gets more time in the spotlight both as a character and as a source of insights into the histories of the JTTW canon characters, and C) the stakes aren't of the constant end-of-the-universe levels & therefore MK gets a Fucking Break from the Horrors & also gets to make a lot more friends in stuff like a theater group.

tbh I was pretty delighted by this plot idea @digitalagepulao put out where MK is getting ready for a theatrical production of Havoc in Heaven where he's playing Sun Wukong but then both the actor and the understudy who played Erlang Shen got ill, & that this was resolved by MK getting SWK to play his one-time nemesis. That's a really fun idea for a number of reasons, not the least being it seems like a great scenario for the Monkey King to have actually understandable stage fright & some genuine conversations about his past & what he learned from his experiences BUT ALSO for it being a great way for Monkie Kid to give a respectful nod to past retellings of Xiyouji even while letting MK & co. shine.

In conclusion people should definitely check out @digitaldoeslmk.

As for the second part of this ask, you probably couldn't say that the Monkey King has anything like a contemporary medical degree going strictly by Xiyouji canon, but he does prove himself to be a clever primate when it comes to medicine! Honestly it could make for a kind of funny JTTW future story where SWK goes through medical school to get an MD so that he can be an officially licensed doctor in the 21st century lol. And while we never see SWK helping someone with pregnancy or childbirth in the og classic (discounting the mpreg arc lmao), his status as both an extremely old communal grandpa who's seen a lot and a protector of children seem to both suggest that he'd be pretty good at assisting in childbirth for humans, monkeys, and yaoguai alike.

Enjoy your food and sleep too!

[courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme]

Planet of the Apes (2001, Tim Burton)

31/03/2024

Planet of the Apes is a 2001 film directed by Tim Burton.

It is a remake of the 1968 film of the same name, based on the novel Planet of the Apes (La Planète des singes) di Pierre Boulle.

In the year 2029, the daring astrounat Leo Davidson works in the Oberon space base in close contact with primates trained to carry out space missions; His favorite is Pericles, a chimpanzee. Once inside, Leo loses all contact with the Oberon and ends up crash-landing in the swamp of the alien planet of Ashlar, in the year 5021.

Leo will soon discover that this planet is populated by talking, evolved anthropomorphic apes who treat humans like slaves. The astrounat, captured by the apes, is later bought by a human trader named Limbo, a greedy and inept orangutan.

Due to a series of circumstances Leo manges to escape from prison and frees other humans and slaves, including the gorilla ex-soldier Krull, whose military career was destroyed by the evil general Thade, a chimpanzee, who manages the hunt to humans since the death of his father Zaius and is assisted by the ferocious gorilla Colonel Attar. The destination of the escape is "Calima", a sacred place for the monkeys, the temple of their god Seamus: according to their religion, in that place the god gave rise to the life of the monkeys.

In the finale, Leo reaches Earth in what he believes is his time, crashing near Washington. Walking inside the Lincoln Memorial, Leo is horrified to discover that the giant statue of the president possesses the face of General Thade.

The film came to light after a very intense development hell: ideas for a remake of Planet of the Apes date back to the 1980s, when Adam Rifkin was brought to 20th Century Fox studios with the desire to make a new film about apes. His film was to be called Return to the Planet of the Apes and described apes in Greco-Roman customs and habits fighting against a society of intelligent humans, the lineage of the protagonists of the 1968 classic, inspired by films such as Spartacus.

Peter Jackson later wanted to adapt a similar project in which the ape society was modeled after Renaissance culture and Roddy McDowall, the actor who had played Cornelius and Caesar in the original films, was open to the idea of having a part in the role of a monkey with an appearance inspired by Leonardo da Vinci. Jackson, however, dedicated himself to the creation of heavenly Creatures and only decided to resume the project in 1998, only to abandon it again when McDowall's death took away his enthusiasm.

[cloud-somersault]

I really enjoy your backstory, like lmk's is still my favorite simply because the mountain breakup scene and the voice actors performance haunts my dreams, but if it didnt mean losing that i would want your backstory to be the canon one. Like macaque's punishment is oof, and the fact wukong was hoping all that time for macaque to save him- even using his gift ouch. It hurts in the best ways

WHAT this is such a nice compliment WHAT???? Also you're so valid, I love the mountain scene .. everyone talks about Macaque's lines there but Wukong's pur frustration and "everything I did was for US!" fucks me up every time.

But wow, that's really the only reason?? You mean, if I hired voice actors to do the mirror scene you'd change your mind LMAO

But seriously, thank you! I know you said you still prefer canon, but if even one person likes my au more than canon (other than myself) I'd say the fic is a success!

I mean, it already is but like. It's make me personally happy

You're not the first to say Macaque's punishment was especially brutal. I actually meant to talk about that in the podcast, but I forgot 😩 but it was really the fact that he ran away and that he's in the same strength bracket as Wukong. plus he's a celestial primate. They didn't want to take any chances (and neither Heaven nor Hell knows how celestial primates work)

Wukong using the eternal night is sad...I'm glad I was able to convey how heartbroken and scared he was. And why he's SO FURIOUS when he sees Macaque again after being trapped in a nightmare. Like you're kinda seeing how, from both sides, things went south so quickly. Wukong still did a murder but we can better understand why now.

[lunastar92]

[primate-tournament]

Round 3, match 3: small new world primates

Bearded emperor tamarin (Saguinus imperator subgrisescens)

This tiny, tiny tamarin is found in the wet forests where Brazil and Peru border each other. They eat fruit, flowers, fungus, and tree sap- but they’re apparently too lazy to dig their own holes in trees, so they wait for a different species to do it for them. And, of course, they have those magnificent moustaches.

Panamanian white-faced capuchin (Cebus imitator)

Another species which some of you may recognise! These are found in and around (no surprises here) Panama, in a variety of types of forest. They eat mostly fruit, but also insects. They are also surprisingly intelligent, utilising a variety of tools! They often use rocks to crack open fruits, snails, and crabs, and also rub plants into their fur, potentially being a case of non-human animals using herbal medicine! Historically they’ve often been trained by humans, first as organ grinder monkeys, but more recently as actors and even as assistance animals for paraplegic people.

[is-the-primate-vid-cute]

question, my friend was telling me about a tv show they watched growing up called zaboomafoo(?). one of the prominant "characters" is a lemur named zaboomafoo. i was wondering how ethical this is. it seems like many of the shots are just a stand in puppet and they filmed everything in the lemurs habitat (that involved it). most of the scenes seem to be it just jumping around on set. i was wondering if this was still not a great thing, as animal "actors" are controversial.

Zoboomafoo is actually what we bring up as sort of a golden exception to our no primate actors stance! The Kratt brothers used footage of Jovian the sifika just doing his thing at the Duke Lemur Center where he lives, and used a puppet for direct interaction scenes. Basically, the filming of this show has zero impact on the life of the titular lemur, as it is just footage of him living his life at home.

Good instincts, but Zoboomafoo gets the golden seal of cute and ethical primate approval.

Check out the Zoboomafoo tag for more info and videos!

[Edited to correct spelling of Zoboomafoo]

[halloweennut]

The Erlking and the Golden Hero Chapter 2 and Interlude: Hand in Unlovable Hand

We have a two-for-one posting gang. Mara reckons with her connection to the Power Primate, and Alchemist Lore drop besties (#AlchemistApologist lmao)

Once upon a time, a woman traveled through the world searching for treasures and found one decades in the past, but couldn’t bring it back with her. She could only bring two reminders: a ring and a prophecy child in her belly. 

She knew the Alchemist and loved him. She knew the Erlking, as he had trapped her like a bird in a cage. The woman escaped but found the horrid truth about his origin, how it pitted her two dearest treasures against one another. It was a new cage to escape from. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Antauri watched as Mara leaned over star maps and shipping schedules, coordinating the smuggling shipments and supply dispersal over the city. It kept her busy, for a time, but Antauri could sense her tension roll off her waves. She longed for the sky and a thousand things, probably one of them was to meditate so deeply she could yell at the Power Primate himself to get answers. He didn’t doubt that she could, but…everything was too raw, her mind too turbulent. She was tapping the console rhythmically, tapping each finger one right after the other. Mara was tense beyond measure, and he could hear her mind racing. She was like a struck piano string but he couldn’t hear the note. 

“Mara?” he asked. She snapped to attention, turning around. 

“Oh, Antauri! I didn’t hear you coming up behind me,” Mara said. 

“You’re troubled,” he stated, coming to stand next to her. She sighed, leaning over the console. Antauri looked everything over - it was perfect, down to the letter and timing. 

Mara didn’t reply immediately, but her shoulders slumped slightly. “I suppose. It’s…I know I’m grounded. I know I need to ease back into everything but Antauri I’m chomping at the bit, here.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to fly again soon,” he started to say. Mara shook her head. 

“It’s not just that, Antauri,” her eyes were straight ahead. “I feel it. The connection again, it feels like electricity on my fingertips and at the base of my skull. It’s like every nerve in my body is racing to do everything, everywhere, all at once. It’s like I’m being shouted at but I can’t - can’t understand it.”

“I’m not surprised,” Antauri nodded. “Your connection was restored all at once, it will take time to adjust.” 

“I know. I just wish I could do more. You know, without putting a target on my back or betraying Chiro. He asked me not to do anything crazy,” Mara sighed. “No flying, no astral - definitely not that. I’m still pissed at Aurelius.” 

She looked off to the distance. “And Chiro is too. If I spoke to him without telling Chiro…I know I’ll have to for closure at SOME point.”

Antauri hummed at that. “I can understand your frustration. Someone I cared about deeply betrayed my trust - betrayed the entire team’s trust. Sadly, the time for closure for him and I is long gone now. You may still have that chance, Power Primate willing.” 

“I’ve heard that phrase way too many times. Was his will all of this?” Mara scowled. “Can’t say I’m a fan of my son being a child soldier or prophecy child, or that his great plan included me losing a good chunk of my life to jail. Or that…”

She trailed off. There were a thousand things she could have said, a thousand lives that had been wasted and spent. 

“I have thought about this as well,” Antauri said. “Things happened as they were going to. Chiro always would have found us. Marsos would have betrayed you - maybe not then but at some point. Planets will always fall, empires and kings rise. Even if there wasn’t a plan, things will always fall into place by each actor’s own will.” 

“Guess you’re right…,” she sighed. “How much longer until I can try meditating again?”

“Not yet. I don’t want to risk another psychic attack, not until I can properly gauge your ability,” he said.

“It’s been weeks. Trust me, I can handle trying to connect,” Mara replied. “Besides, the best I can do is astral project. I can’t do what Chiro can, other than make my hands glow and crackle.”

“The floor of the medbay says otherwise.”

“Okay, well, maybe I just wasn’t trained long enough to be able to consciously summon…whatever I did, exactly,” Mara rubbed her forehead. “I still don’t really remember.”

Antauri couldn’t fill in the blanks for her either. All he, Gibson and the security tapes picked up was a flash of bright light, her scream and their shouts, along with the clattering of their medical equipment. “The only reasonable thing was it was built-up over the past 16 years, and it all rushed out once you had your conscious connection back.” 

“I can see that,” Mara said. She held up a hand, staring for a few seconds before green energy crackled up her palms to dissipate at her fingertips, jumping between the digits like electricity. “Chiro can summon this so easily.”

“He’s also had more training, but he’s naturally gifted,” he nodded. “It would make sense that you both can summon electricity, but you likely have gifts more correlated with your mind than physical.”

Mara huffed at that. “Nah, I’m just clever and occasionally lucky. That’s mine.”

“I’m not saying you aren’t,” Antauri replied. “You have telepathy amongst other abilities, you know this right? I heard you last week, after you aided Chiro.”

“No, I can just,” Mara wagged her hand in a ‘eh’ motion. “You just pick up on it.”

“....Mara.”

“That’s telepathy, isn’t it.”

“Yes.”

“Damn.” 

Antauri chuckled. “We can work on developing it.” 

“Developing what?” 

Both turned to see Chiro, fresh from scouting. Mara beamed. “There you are star sweeper. How did scouting go?”

“The usual. There’s a small formless squadron a few miles out. Sprx and the Sun Raiders are en route to take them out,” he replied. 

“To answer your question, Chiro,” Antauri said, “your mother has some telepathic abilities. We plan on developing them further.”

Chiro looked worried at that. Mara put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Hey, I promised I’d be careful. No going to limbo, no deep trances - nothing that would drag the Skeleton King out. And no more secrets.” 

“Okay,” he replied. “But still, be careful?”

“I will,” she laughed. “I’m the one who should be worrying over you, not the other way around, kid.”

“Perhaps we can let her go back out into the field? We need more pilots,” Antauri said. “We can change her call sign and use a different ship than what she was using before.”

“Defensive moves only,” Chiro acquiesced after a moment. “No engaging on the offensive.”

“Alright, star sweeper,” she promised, ruffling his hair. “Let’s just get me a ship, then we can fuss over everything else.”

“Why don’t you go train? It may help dispel that nervous energy, Mara,” Antauri said. “I can finish things here.”

“That just might help,” Mara nodded. “Come’on Chiro, why don’t you show me how you do that thunder kick?”

“Gonna try it?” Antauri heard Chiro jokingly ask as they left. 

“Nah, I can’t get more than sparks, but if I can electrocute a formless to nothing by shocking it that would be handy,” Mara replied. “Call it ‘static shock.’”

“I like that!”

They disappeared to the training room, conversation fading away. Antauri turned to the manifest Mara had completed, and with a wave of his hand, it was sent off to where it had to be. Editing her file was next, clearing her for flight and erasing her call sign and ship, replaced only with “TBD.” It felt wretched to remove ‘Destiny One’ from its spot, but ideas about destiny seemed gauche. Much like fate, Mara would determine a new call sign in time.

She approached him later, perhaps more solemn than what he was used to. “I want that training, Antauri. If I can do that telepathy or whatever, I want to control it. I’m…I’m not right, right now.”

Mara refused to elaborate further, but Antauri could sense it. Something was coiled, ready to snap and it was overwhelming. The privacy that came with his quarters allowed her to crumple. There was more than what he had sensed before - she had blocked him and even Chiro, even if she wasn’t aware of it.  None of it was tinged with the Skeleton King’s influence, at least that much he could sense. But there was too much for one person to untangle. 

Antauri gestured to the meditation garden, bidding her to sit down. “Start at the beginning.”

“It started not too long after I was cleared from medbay, after I spoke to Chiro,” Mara said, voice soft. “Last week, when I saw the horde approach…something led me to the viewing deck to see them. It’s not like it was before, where I just knew. I heard a thousand whispers shouting at me. This didn’t happen on Verron either.”

“You’re aware now, eventually it will become normal,” Antauri replied softly. “Sight beyond sight - a kind of awareness. It’s likely you’ve had this sort of intuition all your life. It’s very strong for you. Cairn’s pass, how you escaped your trap in the Dreamscape…”

“It’s more often now. I sensed Chiro approaching. I sensed the secondary attack earlier. I-”

She looked down at her hands, and Antauri could see the tremor in them. He gently grasped them. “What’s going on?”

“I…I don’t know,” Mara said. “I’m frightened. I don’t like what’s coming my way, Antauri - I don’t know what it is. I just sense it -”

“I know. The end of all of this war,” he replied. “But we can hope for the best.” 

Mara nodded. “Can we meditate for a bit? I want to be calmer the next time I leave this room. I know you said not yet but-”

“Of course,” Antauri said, sitting on the floor next to her. Once she was lulled into her meditation, he let out a facsimile of a breath, letting his mind flow into her’s. She sensed him, he knew that, but the block was down. There was still no trace of the Skeleton King there, but her connection to the Power Primate was no longer embers but a flame. He could hear what she heard, the whispers of the universe directed her way. Antauri could understand how it would be overwhelming, especially when they were nonspecific. Time would focus it, block it out except for what was needed. Time wasn’t necessarily on their side, neither were the guides he once knew on Korallodal to aid. Antauri gently left her mind and went back to his own. If he stayed longer he would be at risk of prying her mind, but at least his departure left quiet in his wake. 

“Thank you,” she murmured softly once he had, and Antauri sensed ease from her for the first time in days.  

-

Sometimes Mara’s dreams played out as her memories instead. The best were of Chiro’s childhood, running happily through the park or him running up to her after school, or of seeing the farthest reaches of space, or of lazy afternoons with her head in some random lover’s lap. The worst were being in jail, being homeless, or trapped on a slaver’s ship, or the cursed few months she hadn’t had her own body. 

And then…she had her new-old memories back, and they played every night since, as though to make them fresh and whole again. 

Mara laughed, hopping onto a workbench next to Aurelius. “You’re going to be late. You know the head priest hates that.”

“Since when were you a stickler for the time?” he looked up from his blueprints to grin at her, removing his work goggles to reveal his mismatched eyes. Oh how she adored them- so bright and brilliant. Mara reached out, brushing his hair from his face. 

“Maybe when it started having an effect on how much time I get with you afterwards - instead of having to clean, you could be with me,” she replied coyly. “And maybe, I have a new spot for us to sneak to.”

“You realize that everyone knows, we don’t have to sneak off,” Aurelius replied. He stood, brushing eraser scraps off his robe. “It is, admittedly, more fun.” 

“And you know I enjoy a bit of fun. It just took you some time to enjoy it too- oh!” Mara gasped as Aurelius picked her up. It turned to laughter as she clung to his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his gaunt cheek. “I’m glad you’re letting yourself have fun.”

“You make it remarkably easier, Mara,” he said, letting her feet drop to the floor. She didn’t let go of his shoulders, standing up on her toes. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Mara softly said, stretching up to kiss him. “But we should really, really, get going. Because if we’re both late, they won’t have us doing chores together.”

Aurelius laughed, flicking her hood up. “And if neither of us are correctly dressed-”

She wrapped her arm around his waist, leaning against him happily as they made their way through the cloisters. Mara couldn’t remember any other time she was happier-

Until she woke up and had to wipe the tears from her face. Mara hissed in anger at her mind and at the sad ache in her chest, hopelessly flopping back onto her bed. 

“Let me sleep. No memories. I’ll take a nightmare over them,” she murmured to the void. “Power Primate, you owe me that one. You should have managed to give him a vision to not do that, or something to defy fate. Or me. Defiance is my nature. You know that.” 

Mara groaned, pressing her hand to her forehead. “And I’m talking to *you* again. Ugh. I want to talk to him instead - well, he can talk. I’ll shout.”

She turned onto her side, squinting in the dim light of her room to the framed photo she had on her side table, next to the little stuffed monkey from when Chiro was a child. It was her and Chiro years ago at one of Shuggazoom’s parks, smiling and happy. She longed for those days still, and part of her mourned the life she had back then, now long gone. Mara turned onto her back and closed her eyes. She forced her mind clear once again and let sleep creep back in. 

Or would have, if she hadn’t felt the weightlessness of astral projecting. Mara couldn’t stop it - she didn’t even know how she got there to begin with. But once the process started, she couldn’t stop. 

‘I did say no memories,’ she thought bitterly as she realized how the Power Primate heeded her call, leading her where she didn’t go on her own. ‘This is going to be a nightmare.’

Mara felt her bare feet plant on the warm, rocky ground of the Dreamscape and opened her eyes. She was right next to the lake, still and far too smooth. Her reflection was how she was in the waking world, bedhead and all. She heard Aurelius before he even got close, but still didn’t turn to him once he did. 

“Mara…,” his voice was soft, shocked at her presence. Stars, hearing it lacking confidence wanted a small part of her to cry. “Are…are you really here?”

Her voice escaped her for a moment. “I am.”

He sighed in relief. “Thank the stars-”

“I’m angry, Aurelius,” she said. Mara felt the corners of her mouth tighten. “I’m so angry at you.”

She turned to him, finally. Aurelius’s face was unobscured by his hood, and he looked older, more tired than she could recall him looking before, frozen in time here. He looked remorseful. 

“I know-”

“Good! Aurelius, what were you thinking?” Mara snapped. “I told you so many times not to go over my head on things, and yet? You did! I thought you had gotten over that - you may be smart but my gods, so am I! We were- We’re married! Decisions about us should be made by BOTH of us! Do you have any idea how much…I felt this hole in my chest for almost twenty years because of what you did.”

“I did not mean for that, Mara, love-”

“Don’t call me love.”

He sighed. “I did it so it would be easier once you returned to the present. I hadn’t figured out stasis yet, and even then, I was needed by Clayton- and I didn’t want you to return to someone who had aged 70 years, if not dead.”

“It didn’t matter in the end, did it? You’re still dead,” Mara said. “Because you had to play god and mess with things.”

“Someone needed to check the barrier between here and the Dark Ones-”

Mara looked at him with regret. “It didn’t have to be you.”

“I know that now, more than ever,” Aurelius replied. “You…you kept the ring despite not remembering?”

“I just knew it was important to me,” Mara murmured, rubbing the ring on her finger with her thumb. “I think the Skeleton King kept the match, just to hurt me. And you.”

Aurelius reached for her hand, but she tugged it out of reach. He flinched back. “Mara, I wish I could take it all back. Let me do all that I can to try and fix things.”

“How?”

It was a simple question.  But he couldn’t find an answer, not for all his knowledge in the world. 

“I don’t know. I’ll find a way,” he said with a hint of absolution. “I have to. For Shuggazoom, for my mistakes, for you- our son-”

“Chiro doesn’t even want to know a thing about you, you know. He’s…he’s torn, and afraid,” Mara winced. “You can understand why.”

“I do…had I known-”

“Had you thought things through-”

“I would have never built that portal. I never…”

He pressed a tired hand to an equally tired brow. “I never wanted to bring evil into the universe, but I did, and there’s nothing I can do to fix that now. At the very least, I made the Hyperforce and brought the Robot here.”

“That was something you gave to Chiro at least, other than DNA and that thing you do with your eyebrows,” Mara said, poking the center of his forehead. “He’s a clever engineer too.” 

“I think he got the cleverness from you,” Aurelius faintly smiled, but it was a bare scant of an upturned line at the corners. “At least he has more good in him than anyone could have predicted.” 

“He’s always been a good kid, regardless of whether or not he’s a leader or a chosen one,” she replied. “Chiro probably would have fought against the Dark Ones no matter what.”

“I’m happy to know that,” he said faintly, distant. “It’s a solace.”

Mara stared at him for a moment, thinking back to all the dozens of times they had spent together on Korallodal, to the months in the Dreamlands, and not once did she feel as conflicted about him than she did now, not even when he was a proud scientist who could barely apologize for portaling her to the past. Neither had lost their pride, only time and in his case, his life. She took his hand, rasping a thumb over his knuckles before dropping it. It fell limp to his side. 

“I have to return,” she stated. “Antauri probably sensed me coming here, and I’d rather not get in trouble with him or Chiro. This conversation isn’t over, Aurelius.”

“I know it won’t be,” he replied. “When Chiro is ready…tell him-”

“Whatever it is, when he’s ready you can tell him yourself,” Mara said. “Goodbye, Aurelius.”

“Good night, Mara,” Aurelius murmured. “Rest well.” 

Mara returned with no pomp or circumstance to uneasy wakefulness. Exhaustion traced her mind, and she felt it in the rest of her as well. Fitfully, she tried to regain the comfort of sleep and won it only for morning to rise too soon. She pulled herself from bed, and began to think of any excuses she could make to explain her continued exhaustion. 

“Woof, Mars, you look like shit,” Clayton greeted her once she arrived at the main deck. Mara glared. “Rough night?”

“You could say that, gramps,” she replied. “Where’s Antauri?”

“With Chiro, running through some training program - Power Primate stuff,” Johnny Sunspot stated. “We’re monitoring for him while everyone else is on patrol, repairs, or helping the citizens.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you around,” Mara waved offhandedly, heading towards the training room. She needed to know if Antauri knew, and worse yet if Chiro knew. She wasn’t sure if the Power Primate explanation would be satisfactory to Chiro, it was barely satisfactory to her. The doors wouldn’t open, meaning it was a private training session and only an emergency would gain entry. Mara hummed at that, sinking down to the floor. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself - she didn’t have to go on patrol, she wasn’t hungry, and going for a cruise around town seemed empty. She hated feeling listless. 

‘Hey, Antauri,’ Mara thought, hoping that maybe the whole…telepathy thing would work. ‘Let me in.’

There was a faint hum in the back of her head, almost like radio static. ‘Shit, do I have to tune in my thoughts? That’s dumb-’

The doors opened with a soft whoosh and hiss, revealing Antauri. “You may have to adjust them.”

“My brain is a stereo, woo,” Mara deadpanned, standing. “I just wanted to check in on Chiro.” 

“Hey mom!” Chiro was soon to appear. “Antauri and I just finished up.”

“There’s my star sweeper,” she replied, relief sweeping over her - he didn’t know. Mara pulled him into a hug. 

“Are you okay?” he asked softly. Mara nodded against his head before pressing a kiss to his temple. 

“Yeah, just tired today. Didn’t sleep well - but don’t worry about it, just one of those nights,” she said. She felt Antauri’s eyes on her, trying to peer below the surface of her statement. ‘Later,’ she thought, and from the corner of her eye saw him nod. “I don’t know about you kid, but I could use a coffee and a patrol flight.”

Chiro pulled away with a beaming smile - the one thing about him that had never changed ever since his childhood - and nodded. Mara grinned back, throwing an arm over his shoulders to steer him to the kitchen, and tried to forget the night she had. 

-

Antauri saw through the lie immediately, but the explanation wasn’t much better. 

“It’s…not unprecedented,” he drawled. Mara slumped onto the floor from her lotus position. 

“Cool cool cool,” she replied. “How do I avoid that again?”

“Don’t leave loopholes when talking to the Power Primate,” Antauri replied honestly. She propped herself up on her elbows to stare at him. “I am being honest.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I just wasn’t ready. I wanted to talk, but I wasn’t ready. I’m still angry.”

“You’re allowed to be. The Alchemist didn’t exactly act fairly, and as a result you were hurt,” he said. “Not to mention, a risk was posed towards Chiro - and you’ve established many times that he is your priority.” 

Mara rested a hand on her abdomen, mind going back 17 years when she found out the first and second times, both with joy but one with fear for her child’s safety. “That’s why he can’t know I went. He’s still…”

Antauri picked up the trailed off sentence. “Worried and upset about the Dreamlands incident and the role of the Alchemist in everything.”

She nodded, folding her legs under her again. “I don’t want him to think I’m risking my and everyone’s safety, or breaking my promise. I just need to figure out how to bring him back…but the more I think about it, there’s no way, is there?”

“I came back from the dead,” he replied. “There’s hope.”

“You were able to bind yourself to Chiro, and there was another body waiting for you. I don’t think we have the time to make one, and he’s been dead for 60 years,” she said. “I’m not sure it would even be possible to have him bound to someone and be able to cross over from limbo.” 

Antauri knew she was right. What he and Chiro had done wasn’t something usually feasible, but with Chiro’s connection to the Power Primate being what it was, it bridged the gap between theory and reality. Mara didn’t have that kind of connection, and considering Chiro’s feelings on the matter…”That…is a fair point.” 

“I don’t like breaking promises,” Mara added softly. “I shouldn’t have made such an impossible one to begin with.��

“You have a track record of doing the impossible.”

“Sheer, dumb luck.”

Antauri huffed a laugh at her derision, deciding not to mention her own gifts from the Power Primate. “Maybe you’re just too stubborn to back down - it would explain Chiro.”

“Heh,” Mara chuckled. “Another reason why he can’t know. He’ll double down on the promise I made, especially since-”

“You cannot be blamed for not being in control,” Antauri insisted. “Regardless, it happened for a reason.”

Mara hummed at that. Destiny, fate, whatever, she didn’t want to be at its whim. “I suppose…”

As always in defiance of fate, Mara grabbed for a way to take it back. If confrontation was what was wanted, fine. But it would be her choice and her will dictating when. If she had to go, if it was where she was being led, might as well make it worthwhile. Aurelius would make good on his own promise, and she would figure out a way to let everyone down gently and with minimal damage. 

INTERLUDE - Hand in Unlovable Hand

Aurelius hadn’t always been the Alchemist. Dr. Aurelius Ethelwin had simply been that - engineer, biomedical specialist, scientist. Everything was laid out brilliantly in his mind. Perfect and finite, a straight path that would land him famously in the echelons of Shuggazoom. He had always been so confident in that plan and in himself. School, post-doctorate in robot-design, and then working for Carrington Industries Research and for Clayton on a side-pride-project. Working with Dr. Takeuchi and Dr. Maezono was too good to give up. 

But something happened along the way. Aurelius couldn’t ever put a finger or explanation on it, just that something changed within him. The robot he helped create…it was beautiful. A feat of engineering and creation, something that could only be dreamed of turned into reality. And yet, Aurelius felt hollow. This creation was only made to have one purpose, a singular finite thing when it should have been able to take advantage of everything its circuits allowed. Dr. Takeuchi was the only one who understood in a way, Dr. Maezono was more dismissive of his concerns. 

‘It’s only a stepping stone,’ he tried to rationalize, ‘and now it’s over and I’m becoming sentimental. In a few months, I’ll be back home in a research position for Clayton, and I’ll have time enough for my own experiments-’

Perhaps…he noticed that despite having all avenues open to him, he was set on one and only one path, straight and linear. The rational side of him enjoyed the finality. But everything else rebelled. Aurelius faltered slightly, and began to want more, despite everything. He was a brilliant scientist, nothing should have given into rebellion. But where the rational ended, the odd began. Dreams of a far off planet and figures in silver robes, green auras and whispers about something called ‘the Power Primate’ hounded him. It wasn't irrational, if he was allowed to be semantic. Running tests on the Super Robot's brain, he felt something spark beneath his hands, even through the thick gloves. 

Life. 

Not in the traditional sense, no, but life. The irrational overcame the rational in one swift blow. With that, he escaped the finite path he designed and jumped onto a new one, the Super Robot aiding his escape and coming with him through the stars of space. He had no clue where it would go but he was confident in his own skills and abilities. Clayton had always said he was cocky, and perhaps he was right. 

Eventually he landed on Korallodal, and suddenly the dreams - no, visions - made sense. Science and Magic could coexist! That alone was a brilliant discovery on his part, despite the Verron Mystics being distinctly aware of it for stars' know how long. They seemed even more distinctly aware of his arrival. The Seer was old, even faded despite their hooded form, but he led him from the docking bay through their Temple Complex, slowly and carefully answering his questions. 

The change in himself Aurelius sensed was finally at peace. He traded his lab coat for a dark gray robe and changed the course of his life. He couldn't contact the Power Primate, but he sensed him there, or was more finely attuned to the feeling that had been there all his life. Magic began to burn at his fingertips the longer he studied and stayed with the Mystics. Science began to merge with it under his hand, steady and sure until Alchemy finally was synthesized. His experiments got bolder after that. Once again, he had always been cocky and confident before he became the Alchemist. 

A rift between dimensions was his finest design by far. The Verron Mystics had warned of a thinning between worlds and dimensions was approaching, and the work they had done to seal away the Dark Ones was at risk of shattering. 

'Well,' he thought, 'Someone should look into this.' 

That namely being him. 

The first few attempts fizzled and sparked out before they even had a chance to do much, save cause a power outage, much to the Mystics' chagrin. The last one was going to work, he knew it. And it did, but not how he wanted. Dimensions through space were replaced with a rift in time, and a new face walked in. 

Captain Mara. She was just as cocky as him, just as confident, but far more willing to shoot him. Or throw a book at his head. Or shout, even when he was being very polite! Aurelius was trying to explain everything, and how her coming through was a stroke of fate and an advancement for alchemy! 

She scowled at him, blue eyes bright with anger. He'd be hard-pressed to admit he wasn't charmed by them, by her. Eventually her anger cooled, especially once he began to make good on his promise to return her. The portal he had made had been damaged once it closed, and he had to start from scratch. Mara lingered around him, watching over his shoulder. 

"Don't use that kind of joining. It'll snap in two seconds," was one of the first things she said to him that wasn't venom. 

"I think I know what I'm doing, Captain," he replied. "I'm a specialist engineer - I have the degree, and I'm not too certain it was on your course registry on your ship." 

His pride was much to be desired, back then. 

"Okay and? You may be smart, but I am too," she frowned, and turned to leave his workshop. "Just because I didn't get your degree doesn't mean I don't know things. Hull repairs make you learn. Use a lapping join, idiot." 

She always came back though. There weren't many places for her to go on Korallodal, and he was the only other humanoid. And she was right, she was smart, practically smart and clever. That was charming - Mara was. Aurelius supposed she had to be as a smuggler captain who flew the universe. She had seen more than he had, knew more in a way. 

He mentioned that in an offhanded way, talking about some metal he was using being from some-odd planet. Mara lit up from her seat on his desk, and began to talk about her trips there, the people she knew, and the daring flight she had to navigate once to get to the surface, steering through a meteor shower with a faulty SatNav. She came alive, emoting and gesticulating and Aurelius couldn't divide his attention from her, especially when she smiled for the first time. 

"That's the first I've seen you smile, Captain," he said. Mara stared at him. "It's nice - not the act of smiling but your smile." 

"Oh…no one's said that before. Well, genuinely," she replied, leaning back on her hands. "Thank you." 

"You're welcome."

More changed after that. There was an odd balance that happened with Mara's continued presence, a grounding that hadn't been present. The extremes of his confidence were bounded. She was confident and proud as well, but she was pragmatic in their use most of the time. Mara was a counterweight who didn't take him as seriously as he took himself or others did, quick with a smile and tease. Mostly about the state of his robes or his workshop, especially when she herself joined the Mystics. This was mostly an excuse to be around her friend, she said. 

"I get bored without you," she explained. "And maybe a little lonely. I have no idea how you managed." 

Aurelius was no longer sure either. Just another alteration on the new path he was leading, and just as wanted. Being part of a team was something he didn't know he needed, hand in hand with someone from the future in his present. It wasn't completeness, no, but something better. 

Mara was better at hiding things when they first started being more than friends. He was poor at it. But he couldn't bring himself to care. There was a balance there he wasn't familiar with, but the solid ground was firm under his feet. The only times his feet left the ground afterward was when the Seer granted them permission to marry under the oaths of the Verron Mystics, ceremonial rings included, and when Mara told him what the infirmary had told her. Throughout all this happiness, he had nearly forgotten that the portal he was making was to send her home. 

The tragedy in feeling balanced and then having to make sure balance stayed in the time stream. It plagued him, the misery of longing for something that could no longer be his, the knowledge that when she returned he'd likely be dead, that the rest of their lives would be apart. In their time together, they had made plans together, discussed them, argued even. It felt wrong going behind her back. A step backward from the new life he had, but had to be done for the both of them. If they couldn't remember, they couldn't be in pain. 

The best part of the Immemores spell was that he didn't remember it happening. A year and a half grew blurry, and things went back to how things had been. Aurelius returned to Shuggazoom soon enough, but couldn’t bring himself to work in the shining laboratories of Carrington Industries. This worked out for him and Clayton. Clayton wanted more private projects than anything else, and the Alchemist was happy to comply. Soon the monkeys came into his life, a row of joy and color that he hadn't known to miss. He continued his research and experiments with the rift, the Silver Monkey, and how the little simians under his care would grow into a team. Mandarin's aggression had always been a bit difficult, but the Alchemist was always so sure, so confident that he could keep it in check. 

Being touched by one of the Dark Ones and feeling the seeds of corruption being planted in his soul burned. He felt the sure feeling of regret and anger bubble in his chest, determined to fight whatever he would become. And if he couldn't, the monkeys and Clayton would. He felt his heart slow in his chest, and a stiffness in his body that grew faster than the decay across the rest of him. He could stave it temporarily, but…it was temporary. He felt his body dying around him, and something was growing where he himself should be. The Alchemist watched as his monkeys were sealed away, and their memories taken away. They couldn't feel the pain of loss if they couldn't remember. The Alchemist hoped that, wherever his soul went, the parts that escaped, it would remember them. 

He heard the tolling bell of his death, and sensed the Power Primate knew too. The Alchemist limped to the texts he brought from Korallodal, feeling drawn to a single illuminated page. It was ancient, from hundreds of years before screens dominated. The one prophecy foretold again and again: a Chosen One would rise to challenge a Great Evil from the Dark Ones, and Good would triumph once and for all. He hoped to prevent the rise of it. He hoped that he would be the champion of Good. 

'Never thought I'd be the evil to defeat,' he thought weakly. 'But I won't allow another horror to emerge.' 

The Alchemist erased the portal's plans from his computer, and used the last of his magic to erase it from his mind. He left one last message to the future, hoping someone smarter, someone better would finish what he started. Someone truly good. 

He didn't realize he died until he awoke in the Dreamlands. There was more of his soul than he thought he would still have, but still so much felt missing. Trapped by his remains as it was twisted into something dark, missing the Hyperforce and Clayton, and some part that had been empty since he left Korallodal. He felt regret, for all of the things he changed and for what he hadn't. But the prophecy would be fulfilled, and whoever the Chosen One was would destroy the creature he had become. 

Aurelius hadn't always been the Alchemist. He had always been foolish, but he always been hopeful.

[docgold13]

Profiles in Villainy 

Scarlemange

Heralding from the post-apocalyptic realm of the Age of Wonderbeasts, Hugo Oak was a mutated mandrill possessing pheromone-based mind-control powers. With his abilities and enhanced intellect, sat at the very top of Las Vistas's food chain ruling the land with an iron fist.  

Hugo was originally a normal primate that was mutated and raised by Lio and Song. The cruel treatment he endured under the human scientists who commissioned his mutation, and the eventual perceived desertion of his adoptive family, left Hugo with a lasting grudge against the human race. Upon acclimating to the surface world and weaponizing his coercive pheromones, he rechristened himself 'Scarlemagne' and crusaded to reunite the surface under his banner.

A despotic ruler who championed his fellow primates through intimidation and mind-control, Scarlemange was feared across the surface for the reach and scope of his power. He sought to build a golden city from which he could rule over his fellow mutes, and very nearly succeeded before Kipo and her allies were able to depose him at his own coronation, costing him his captive army in the process. Shortly afterwards, Scarlemagne was captured and imprisoned by the Timbercats.

After his reformation he joined Kipo in the fight against Emilia. In the final battle, he sacrificed himself to save his adoptive sister, Kipo.

Actor Dan Stevens provided the voice for the villain, first appearing in the sixth episode of Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, airing on January 14th, 2020.

[hotvampireadjacent]

Reading through ur top posts rn, ur one of the funniest ppl on this site. Unfortunately have to unfollow due to a genuine phobia of primates and specifically primates as actors. I hope, at least, this ask if funny. All the best to you, I hope you get that jacket ❤️

I AM S O SORRY ABOUT THE APES AND MONKEYS but i understand. i'm glad i can still make people laugh! cant tell if i got less funny over the years or I was not as funny as I thought I was as a teen at my most 'popular'

[azurianschizopolarrailroad]

Revisiting WOY Headcanons

1. Wander and Wild Card are the same species.

2. Lord Hater is the result of a botched Cold War era US space program to test the effects of zero-gravity on primates.

3. Wander's homeworld is called Appalachia.

4. If Captain Tim had a voice actor: Mike Pollock or Kelsey Grammer

thats all i got

add to it if you want