#princess heather blossom

[brawny-and-friends]

The curse is over.  Thank God nothing like that is ever going to happen again.  Now Brawny needs to find one ice pack for his head and one to heal the @princessheatherblossom betrayal.

Background vector:

https://www.deviantart.com/boneswolbach

Support us:

https://www.patreon.com/swiftyuki

https://www.patreon.com/Brawny_Buck

https://www.teepublic.com/user/brawnybuck

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

Cheryl & The Blues

A lovely friend of mine pointed something out to me this morning. Namely, the "why" of the blue dress in Season 1, which had led me to the meaning of blue for Cheryl.

I had asked for his insights previously, as he is a costume designer who is far more visually inclined than I, but it wasn't until now that I got a response. (He has always been a RiverHater, but it seems he is coming around. Our flock grows. Praise Mother Gaia.) In any case, he pointed out that this dress is an attempt from Cheryl to embody Cinderella.

Here is a quick paraphrase of what he said:

She is is desperately trying to NOT be Cheryl during this dinner. At one point she even says "It's supposed to be Cinderella who ran away from the ball." Thus, the blue dress is here to help her emulate the "trad wife heterosexual Cinderella." By the end of the scene, she goes full Cheryl and snaps on Archie because her charade doesn't work and everyone still thinks she's a chaotic lesbian.

Lots to unpack here, no?

As we know, Cheryl IS red. So, seeing her in blue (and this is blue, despite the fact that it looks sort of green. A nod to envy, perhaps?) is very strange. Blue is Betty's color, and though Betty is NOT the ultimate trad wife heterosexual, she is coded that way. In fact, much of her internal character conflict is about her having to grapple with being "The Girl Next Door".

So, this dress is Cheryl's attempt to be "The Girl Next Door". It seems so simple now that I think about it, but still.

I think it's interesting that Cheryl invokes Cinderella specifically, rather than Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Snow White would certainly make sense. She's tortured by an evil mother figure and pale as snow, both things that Cheryl could relate to. There's even poison in that story and we all know how much Penelope loves poison. Sleeping Beauty wouldn't really make sense until after Cheryl's Sweet Water River incident, but still. I think it's kind of interesting how many fairytale princesses we could link to Cheryl.

She chooses Cinderella though. Why? Well, Cinderella is also tormented by an evil mother figure, but her most significant moment is being transformed. Cinderella is lifted from the ashes of her wretched life to go to the ball with the help of her fairy godmother in the hopes of winning the heart of the prince. The prince is clearly Archie and there is no Fairy Godmother. Maybe that's why it doesn't work.

In any case, Cheryl is a lot, even for herself, so it makes sense that she would try to suppress her true colors, so to speak, from time to time to satisfy a particular goal. She is aware that she is too much, at least to some degree at any given moment of the series, so yeah. She whips out the blue when she's trying to tone herself down.

(I'm probably making too much of this, but there's something about Cheryl Blossom and fairytales that just clicks in my mind. It reminds me of Blanche DuBois from Streetcar saying, "I don't want realism, I want magic!" I feel like Cheryl would agree with that. )

Also! Another time that Cheryl wears blue? Toni's bachelorette party in Season 6. This is another time that you could argue she is trying to suppress herself in the interest of being a supportive ex. (Also fascinating that Heather is wearing red! A testament to her love for Cheryl, I think. This IS right before they have their big kiss.)

She also wears blue when she comes up with the idea to kill Percival for Toni's wedding present. It's a sort of "show of support", but we all know she does not support this union and desperately wants Toni back so....

This is also likely why the Sister of Quiet Mercy uniforms are blue. They are symbols of repression for Cheryl specifically. (And Betty too, tbh. I think this 'suppression' narrative probably works for Betty too, but I would need to actually go through and check that. So, for now, let's just focus on Cher Cher.)

Now, Cheryl wears blue pretty often in season 7, but that makes sense considering the fact that she has to suppress herself quite a bit due to the nature of the times. But like, look at this:

These are all moments where Cheryl is actively suppressing her true feelings, in this case, the gay ones. However, what's different about these instances, and these costumes, is that the truth is always poking through. The suppression in the 50's is different. She's not trying to suppress herself FROM herself. Not in the long run. The red accents remind us who she truly is and that she is still Cheryl Blossom underneath that trad wife, heterosexual nonsense she's putting on.

All this to say: When Cheryl is wearing blue she is actively suppressing herself! It's consistent!

ADDENDUM:

Where does this analysis place her River Vixen uniform?

As you can see, it is predominantly blue. However, I do not think that it fits into the "suppression narrative" in the same way as her other blue outfits. The River Vixen uniform is blue, but it's also a symbol of the Town and of Cheryl's sense of belonging within her community. Though I do think the red versions of her Vixen attire that she wears in season 5 are symbolic of her truly owning her place in the town as the Coach of the Vixens and also the Blossom Heir, I don't think she's actively suppressing herself as a River Vixen.

Tune in next time for White and, one day, Green. (Also wondering about Pink.......)

Ciao!

[crossovershipstournament]

CROSSOVER SHIPS TOURNAMENT BRACKET

(Please full-screen for an easier time reading)

Finally, the bracket for the Crossover Ships Tournament is here! I'm so excited to finally get this tournament going, so I'll keep this short and get to the match-ups, with a quick reminder that will be included on the polls themselves as well:

That being said, let's get to the match-ups:

SIDE 1:

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera (Ducktales 2017)/Clover Ebi (RWBY) VS Gregor (Star Wars the Clone Wars)/Harley Quinn (DC Comics)

Dib Membrane (Invader Zim)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls) VS JD (Heathers the Musical)/Nathan Prescott (Life is Strange)

Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural)/Rose Tyler (Doctor Who) VS Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)/Toriel Dreemur (Undertale)

Ange Ushiromiya (Umineko no Naku Koro Ni)/Rin Tohsaka (Fate/Stay Night) VS Max Goof (Disney)/Yakko Warner (Animaniacs)

Dimentio (Super Paper Mario)/Jevil (Deltarune) VS Astro Tenma (Astro Boy (2009))/Wilbur Robinson (Meet The Robinsons)

Damian Wayne (DC Comics)/Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug) VS Michelangelo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)/Miles Morales (Marvel)

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)/Jim Hawkins (Treasure Planet) VS Jimmy Neutron (Jimmy Neutron)/Timmy Turner (Fairly Oddparents)

Bendy (Bendy and the Ink Machine)/Cuphead (Cuphead) VS Johnny Bravo (Johnny Bravo)/Samurai Jack (Samurai Jack)

Mogar (Xray and Vav)/David (Camp Camp) VS Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Whitley Schnee (RWBY)

Ash Williams (Evil Dead)/Crawford Tillinghast (From Beyond) VS Skales (Lego Ninjago)/Starscream (Transformers Prime)

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How To Train Your Dragon)/Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians) VS Jane Porter (Tarzan)/Captain Amelia (Treasure Planet)

Isabelle (Animal Crossing)/Wolf O’Donnell (StarFox) VS Webby Vanderquack (Ducktales 2017)/Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)

Chibiusa (Sailor Moon)/Kid Trunks Briefs (Dragon Ball Z) VS Kokichi Ouma (Danganronpa)/Venti (Genshin Impact)

Applejack (My Little Pony)/Hol Horse (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders) VS Jake Long (American Dragon: Jake Long)/Juniper Lee (The Life and Times of Juniper Lee)

Princess Peach (Super Mario)/Samus Aran (Metroid) VS Kefer (Egyxos)/Shiryu (Knights of the Zodiac)

Alex Mercer (Prototype)/Desmond Miles (Assassin’s Creed) VS Gandra Dee (Ducktales 2017)/Winter Schnee (RWBY)

SIDE 2:

Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio)/Timothy Q. Mouse (Dumbo) VS Max (Camp Camp)/Phineas Flynn (Phineas and Ferb)

Wirt (Over the Garden Wall)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls) VS Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony)/Shockwave (Transformers Prime)

Daffy Duck (Looney Toons)/Donald Duck (Disney) VS Commander Peepers (Wander Over Yonder)/Wilt Michaels (Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends)

Jigglypuff (Pokemon)/Kirby (Kirby) VS Merida (Brave)/Rapunzel (Tangled)

Leonardo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)/Yuichi Usagi (Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles) VS Megaman (Megaman)/Pit (Kid Icarus)

Floyd Leech (Twisted Wonderland)/Kanata Shinkai (Ensemble Stars) VS Adrien Agreste (Chat Noir) (Miraculous Ladybug)/Berry Shirayuki (Mew Berry) (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Ben Tennyson (Ben 10)/Rex Salazar (Generator Rex) VS Bayonetta (Bayonetta)/Palutena (Kid Icarus)

Gyro Gearloose (Ducktales 2017)/Hazel Rainart (RWBY) VS Sally “Thorn” McKnight (Scooby Doo Franchise)/Skwisgaar Skwigelf (Metalocalypse)

Blossom Utonium (Powerpuff Girls)/Dexter (Dexter’s Laboratory) VS Angus McDonald (The Adventure Zone)/Shigeo Kageyama (Mob) (Mob Psycho 100)

Selina Kyle (Catwoman) (DC Comics)/Loki (Marvel Cinematic Universe) VS Apollo (Percy Jackson)/Clark Kent (Superman) (Superman)

Aqua (Kingdom Hearts)/Cinderella (Cinderella) VS Huey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Wakko Warner (Animaniacs)

Madoka Kaname (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)/Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) VS Gaz Membrane (Invader Zim)/Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)

Sam Winchester (Supernatural)/Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) VS Phone Guy (Five Nights at Freddy’s)/Wally Franks (Bendy and the Ink Machine)

Ditzy Doo (My Little Pony)/The Doctor (Doctor Who) VS Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia)/Nepeta Leijon (Homestuck)

Bowser (Super Mario)/Dr. Eggman (Sonic) VS Beastman (Masters of the Universe)/Lifeweaver (Overwatch 2)

Luca Paguro (Luca)/Maisie Brumble (The Sea Beast) VS Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Silver the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)

The tournament will begin proper sometime over the following weekend (07/01 - 07/02). I should have a more specific day and time by tomorrow!

[pinkandbluebracket]

Introducing... The Pink and Blue Bracket!

Round One will be broken up into four parts for organization purposes. The following rounds will be split between Side A and Side B (with the exception of the finals/semifinals which will be released all at once)

As of April 29th the bracket has concluded.

The full list of competitors (and sources) can be found below the cut:

🌸Side A

-Amy and Sonic (Sonic) -Megurine Luka and Hatsune Miku (Vocaloid) -Kirby and Meta Knight (Kirby) -Princess Peach and Rosalina (Mario) -Mabel and Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls) -Susie and Lancer (Deltarune) -Jessie and James (Pokémon) -Howl Pendragon and Sophie Hatter (Howl's Moving Castle) -Hilda Valentine Goneril and Marianne Von Edmund (Fire Emblem Three Houses) -Madoka Kaname and Sayaka Miki (Puella Magi Madoka Magica) -Cure Black and Cure White (Futari Wa Precure) -Mew Ichigo and Blue Knight (Tokyo Mew Mew) -Perfuma and Mermista (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) -Nazuna Hiwatashi and Michiru Kagemori (Brand New Animal) -Charlotte and Tiana (The Princess and the Frog) -Rapunzel and Cassandra (Tangled Series) -Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto) -Saiki Kusuo and Kaidou Shun (The Disastrous Life of Saiki K) -Amitie and Sig (Puyo Puyo Fever) -Hinata and Yuta Aoi (Ensemble Stars) -Momoi Airi and Hinomori Shizuku (Project SEKAI) -Ram and Rem (Re:Zero) -Trans Flag (Pride Flags/Real Life) -Sylveon (Pokémon) -Unikitty and Puppycorn (Unikitty!) -Yin and Yang (Yin Yang Yo) -Murray and Sly Cooper (Sly Cooper) -Piglet and Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh) -Blossom and Bubbles (The Powerpuff Girls) -Webby Vanderquack and Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017) -Magenta and Blue (Blue's Clues) -Angel and Stitch (Lilo and Stitch)

💙Side B -Roxy Lalonde and Jane Crocker (Homestuck) -Max Caulfield and Chloe Price (Life is Strange) -Vi and Jinx (Arcane) -Allura and Lance (Voltron) -Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash (My Little Pony) -Princess Bubblegum and Finn the Human (Adventure Time) -Chrissy and Francine (Animal Crossing) -Satsuki Momoi and Daiki Aomine (Kuroko no Basket) -Asmodeus Alice and Iruma Suzuki (Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun!) -Cure Blossom and Cure Marine (Heartcatch Precure) -Yae Miko and Kamisato Ayato (Genshin Impact) -Yuki Rurikawa and Muku Sakisaka (A3!) -Rozaliya and Liliya Olenyeva (Honkai Impact 3rd) -Natsu Dragneel and Gray Fullbuster (Fairy Tail) -Martha Dunnstock and Veronica Sawyer (Heathers) -Sasha Waybright and Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia) -Lewis Pepper and Vivi Yukino(Mystery Skulls) -Queen of Hatred and Knight of Despair (Lobotomy Corporation) -Heartful Punch and Undine Wells (Sleepless Domain) -Pretzel and Gillion Tidestrider (Just Roll With It) -Pink and Blue Diamond (Steven Universe) -Stephanie and Sportacus (LazyTown) -Yona and Hak (Yona of the Dawn) -Ami Onuki and Yumi Yoshimura (Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi) -Anais and Gumball Watterson (The Amazing World of Gumball) -Annalise and Erika (Barbie: Princess and the Pauper) -Flora and Bloom (Winx Club) -Lala and Kiki (Sanrio) -Five Pebbles and Looks to the Moon (Rain World) -Bot and Goo (Inanimate Insanity) -Pink and Dark Blue (Animator vs Animation) -Pink and Blue Crewmate (Among Us)

[rainbowmagicfairyfight]

Rainbow Magic Fairy Fight

Round 1

Round 1: Abigail the Breeze Fairy, Addison the April Fool's Day Fairy, Adele the Singing Coach Fairy, Aisha the Astronaut Fairy, Aisha the Princess and the Pea Fairy, Alexa the Fashion Reporter Fairy, Alexandra the Royal Baby Fairy, Alice the Tennis Fairy, Alison the Art Fairy, Ally the Dolphin Fairy (August 16)

Round 2: Alyssa the Snow Queen Fairy, Amber the Orange Fairy, Amelia the Singing Fairy, Amelie the Seal Fairy, Amy the Amethyst Fairy, Angelica the Angel Fairy, Anna the Arctic Fox Fairy, Annabelle the Drawing Fairy, Annie the Detective Fairy, Anya the Cuddly Creatures Fairy (August 17)

Round 3: Aria the Synchro Fairy, Ariana the Firefighter Fairy, Ashley the Dragon Fairy, Autumn the Falling Leaves Fairy, Ava the Sunset Fairy, Bea the Buddha Day Fairy, Becky the Best Friend Fairy, Bella the Bunny Fairy, Belle the Birthday Fairy, Bethany the Ballet Fairy (August 18)

Round 4: Billie the Baby Goat Fairy, Blossom the Flower Girl Fairy, Bobbi the Bouncy Castle Fairy, Bonnie the Bike-Riding Fairy, Brianna the Bee Fairy, Brooke the Photographer Fairy, Caitlin the Ice Bear Fairy, Callie the Climbing Fairy, Camilla the Christmas Present Fairy, Cara the Camp Fairy (August 19)

Round 5: Cara the Coding Fairy, Carly the Schoolfriend Fairy, Carmen the Cheerleading Fairy, Carrie the Snow Cap Fairy, Catherine the Fashion Princess Fairy, Charles the Coronation Fairy, Charlie the Sunflower Fairy, Charlotte the Baby Princess Fairy, Chelsea the Chimpanzee Fairy, Chelsea the Congratulations Fairy (August 20)

Round 6: Cherry the Cake Fairy, Cheryl the Christmas Tree Fairy, Chloe the Topaz Fairy, Chrissie the Wish Fairy, Clare the Caring Fairy, Claudia the Accessories Fairy, Coco the Cupcake Fairy, Coral the Reef Fairy, Courtney the Clownfish Fairy, Crystal the Snow Fairy (August 21)

Round 7: Daisy the Festival Fairy, Danielle the Daisy Fairy, Danni the Drum Fairy, Darcey the Dance Diva Fairy, Debbie the Duckling Fairy, Deena the Diwali Fairy, Demi the Dressing-Up Fairy, Destiny the Pop Star Fairy, Edie the Garden Fairy, Eleanor the Snow White Fairy (August 22)

Round 8: Elisa the Adventure Fairy, Elisha the Eid Fairy, Elizabeth the Jubilee Fairy, Ella the Rose Fairy, Elle the Thumbelina Fairy, Ellen the Explorer Fairy, Ellie the Guitar Fairy, Elodie the Lamb Fairy, Elsa the Mistletoe Fairy, Elsie the Engineer Fairy (August 23)

Round 9: Emily the Emerald Fairy, Emma the Easter Fairy, Erin the Firebird Fairy, Esme the Ice Cream Fairy, Esther the Kindness Fairy, Etta the Elephant Fairy, Eva the Enchanted Ball Fairy, Evelyn the Mermicorn Fairy, Evie the Mist Fairy, Faith the Cinderella Fairy (August 24)

Round 10: Fatima the Face-Painting Fairy, Felicia the Fidget Toy Fairy, Fern the Green Fairy, Fiona the Flute Fairy, Fizz the Fireworks Fairy, Flora the Fancy Dress Fairy, Florence the Friendship Fairy, Frances the Royal Family Fairy, Francesca the Football Fairy, Frankie the Make-up Fairy (August 25)

Round 11: Frenchie the Bulldog Fairy, Freya the Friday Fairy, Gabby the Bubble Gum Fairy, Gemma the Gymnastics Fairy, Georgia the Guinea Pig Fairy, Giselle the Christmas Ballet Fairy, Goldie the Sunshine Fairy, Grace the Glitter Fairy, Greta the Earth Fairy, Gwen the Beauty and the Beast Fairy (August 26)

Round 12: Hana the Hanukkah Fairy, Hannah the Happy Ever After Fairy, Harper the Confidence Fairy, Harriet the Hamster Fairy, Hayley the Rain Fairy, Heather the Violet Fairy, Heidi the Vet Fairy, Helen the Sailing Fairy, Helena the Horseriding Fairy, Holly the Christmas Fairy (August 27)

Round 13: Honey the Sweet Fairy, Hope the Welcome Fairy, Imogen the Ice Dance Fairy, India the Moonstone Fairy, Isabella the Air Fairy, Isla the Ice Star Fairy, Ivy the Worry Fairy, Izzy the Indigo fairy, Jacinda the Peace Fairy, Jade the Disco Fairy (August 28)

Round 14: Jae the Boy Band Fairy, Jasmine the Present Fairy, Jayda the Snowboarding Fairy, Jessica the Jazz Fairy, Jessie the Lyrics Fairy, Josie the Jewellery-Making Fairy, Jude the Librarian Fairy, Julia the Sleeping Beauty Fairy, Juliet the Valentine Fairy, Kat the Jungle Fairy (August 29)

Round 15: Kate the Royal Wedding Fairy, Kathryn the PE Fairy, Katie the Kitten Fairy, Kayla the Pottery Fairy, Keiko the Diving Fairy, Keira the Film Star Fairy, Kimberley the Koala Fairy, Kimi the Bubble Tea Fairy, Kitty the Tiger Fairy, Konnie the Christmas Cracker Fairy (August 30)

Round 16: Kylie the Carnival Fairy, Lacey the Little Mermaid Fairy, Lara the Black Cat Fairy, Lauren the Puppy Fairy, Layla the Candyfloss Fairy, Layne the Surfing Fairy, Leah the Theatre Fairy, Leahann the Birthday Present Fairy, Leona the Unicorn Fairy, Lexi the Firefly Fairy (August 31)

Round 17: Li the Labrador Fairy, Libby the Story-Writing Fairy, Lila and Myla the Twins Fairies, Lily the Rainforest Fairy, Lindsay the Luck Fairy, Lisa the Jelly Bean Fairy, Lizzie the Sweet Treats Fairy, Lois the Balloon Fairy, Lola the Fashion Show Fairy, Lottie the Lollipop Fairy (September 1)

Round 18: Louise the Lily Fairy, Lucy the Diamond Fairy, Lulu the Lifeguard Fairy, Luna the Loom Band Fairy, Lydia the Reading Fairy, Maddie the Playtime Fairy, Madeleine the Cookie Fairy, Madison the Magic Show Fairy, Maisie the Moonbeam Fairy, Mara the Meerkat Fairy (September 2)

Round 19: Mariana the Goldilocks Fairy, Marissa the Science Fairy, Martha the Doctor Fairy, Mary the Sharing Fairy, Maryam the Nurse Fairy, Maya the Harp Fairy, Megan the Monday Fairy, Meghan the Wedding Sparkle Fairy, Melissa the Sports Fairy, Melodie the Music Fairy (September 3)

Round 20: Mia the Bridesmaid Fairy, Michelle the Winter Wonderland Fairy, Miley the Stylist Fairy, Milly the River Fairy, Mimi the Laughter Fairy, Molly the Goldfish Fairy, Monica the Marshmallow Fairy, Morgan the Midnight Fairy, Naomi the Netball Fairy, Natalie the Christmas Stocking Fairy (September 4)

Round 21: Niamh the Invitation Fairy, Nicki the Holiday Camp Fairy, Nina the Birthday Cake Fairy, Nur the Vlogger Fairy, Olivia the Orchid Fairy, Orla the Inventor Fairy, Padma the Pirate Fairy, Paige the Pantomime Fairy, Paloma the Dodgems Fairy, Pandora the Poodle Fairy (September 5)

Round 22: Paula the Pumpkin Fairy, Pearl the Cloud Fairy, Penelope the Foal Fairy, Penny the Pony Fairy, Perrie the Paramedic Fairy, Phoebe the Fashion Fairy, Pia the Penguin Fairy, Pippa the Poppy Fairy, Polly the Party Fun Fairy, Poppy the Piano Fairy (September 6)

Round 23: Priya the Polar Bear Fairy, Rae the Rollercoaster Fairy, Rebecca the Rock 'n' Roll Fairy, Rihanna the Seahorse Fairy, Riley the Skateboarding Fairy, Rita the Frog Princess Fairy, Rita the Rollerskating Fairy, Robyn the Christmas Party Fairy, Rochelle the Star Spotter Fairy, Rosalie the Rapunzel Fairy (September 7)

Round 24: Rosie the Honey Bear Fairy, Roxie the Baking Fairy, Ruby the Red Fairy, Ruth the Red Riding Hood Fairy, Sabrina the Sweet Dreams Fairy, Sadie the Saxophone Fairy, Samantha the Swimming Fairy, Samira the Superhero Fairy, Sara the Party Games Fairy, Sarah the Sunday Fairy (September 8)

Round 25: Sasha the Slime Fairy, Saskia the Salsa Fairy, Savannah the Zebra Fairy, Scarlett the Garnet Fairy, Selena the Sleepover Fairy, Selma the Snow Leopard Fairy, Seren the Sausage Dog Fairy, Shannon the Ocean Fairy, Shelley the Sherbet Fairy, Sianne the Butterfly Fairy (September 9)

Round 26: Sienna the Saturday Fairy, Sky the Blue Fairy, Skyler the Fireworks Fairy, Sophia the Snow Swan Fairy, Sophie the Sapphire Fairy, Soraya the Skiing Fairy, Stella the Star Fairy, Storm the Lightning Fairy, Summer the Holiday Fairy, Sunny the Yellow Fairy (September 10)

Round 27: Susie the Sister Fairy, Tallulah the Tuesday Fairy, Tamara the Tooth Fairy, Taylor the Talent Show Fairy, Teri the Trampolining Fairy, Thea the Thursday Fairy, Tia the Tulip Fairy, Tiana the Toy Fairy, Tilly the Teacher Fairy, Trixie the Halloween Fairy (September 11)

Round 28: Tyra the Dress Designer Fairy, Una the Concert Fairy, Vanessa the Dance Steps Fairy, Victoria the Violin Fairy, Violet the Painting Fairy, Whitney the Whale Fairy, Willow the Wednesday Fairy, Yasmeen the Canoeing Fairy, Yasmin the Night Owl Fairy, Zadie the Sewing Fairy (September 12)

Round 29: Zainab the Squishy Toy Fairy, Zara the Starlight Fairy, Zoe the Skating Fairy (September 13)

[winxngasks]

Winx Club Next-Gen AU: Krystal/Nereus’ Kids

Next up for the AU next-gen bios, we have the children for Krystal and Nereus! Had this in my drafts since last September, but I finally found the chance to finish them! My goal for this summer is to finish up the rest of the AU bios, so be on the lookout for those!

=============================================================

- Backstory: During a major royal event that all royalty across the Magic Dimension got a chance to attend, Krystal and Nereus met and got to talking with each other. Both bonded over being caring and trustful people, and in-time feelings blossomed between them the more they talked and spent time with each other. After a couple years of dating they got married and settled down together, having a peaceful relationship but things got a little stressful when it came time for both to take the thrones of their respective kingdoms. After giving it some thought and discussing it with each other and others, they decided to split their time between their respective kingdoms and rule over both together. It wasn’t always easy to have their attention divided between them, but they handled it all in stride, and made sure to have their children embrace both their lands and cultures.

- Their Kids:

* Heather

. Age: 19

. Magic Title: Fairy of Herbs

. Physical Description: tall with a slender but slightly curvy build, long and wavy purplish-pink hair, tan skin, green eyes, markings on her forehead similar to her father’s

. Bio: Oldest daughter and child of Krystal and Nereus, currently an upperclassman at Alfea. As her and her sisters grew up spending most of their schooling time on Linphea and their summers in the sea kingdom of Andros, Heather has always felt connected to both kingdoms, which also causes a lot of internal conflict for her. As the eldest daughter she is the presumed heir to both kingdoms, but for the longest time she felt unsure if she was fit to handle such a big role. It caused her to be quite anxious as a child, afraid to let anybody down which in-turn made it hard for her to make friends. The only person she was closest to for a while was her cousin Ford, but during the time she spent in Linphea she got to meet and become friends with Fawn. Thanks to her more out-going and fun-loving presence, Heather was able to come out of shell more and learn how to let things go and enjoy life. Now as a young adult, she has grown to be a very compassionate, kind, and diplomatic person, who still strives to do her best for others but has learned to make time for herself when she needs it. One of her favorite hobbies to destress is swimming, which she became fairly good at thanks to spending her summers on Andros and going with her cousin. Despite still feeling torn over which kingdom she feels the most connected to, lately Heather has found herself more drawn towards ruling over Linphea when the time comes for her.

* Morganite

. Age: 16

. Magic Title: Fairy of Blossoms

. Physical Description: tall with an average yet lean build, long and straight pale pink hair, tan skin, pale gold eyes, markings on her chest

. Bio: Second daughter and child of Krystal and Nereus, currently attending Alfea. As the second eldest daughter and princess, naturally she hasn’t had as many duties or expectations placed upon her as Heather, but she still feels a lot of the same conflicts that her older sister has. Since it is anticipated that one day Heather will choose one kingdom to rule over, as the second eldest Morgan has also been anticipated to rule over the other kingdom. She has her own mixed feelings on the subject, but unlike Heather she has a more relaxed attitude and feeling about the whole situation. Avery intuitive and thoughtful young lady, after takes on the role as the ‘strategist’ when on missions with her classmates, though more often than not she is assigned this role by her peers as they push the responsibility off on her. She is more soft-spoken and normally not one to start trouble, but she also knows when to call people out when it is needed. The best swimmer out of her sisters, she is the most inclined to her mermaid side and has found herself more interested in ruling over Andros’ Sea Kingdom.

* Amethyst

. Age: 13

. Magic Title: Witch of Whirlpools

. Physical Description: short with an average build that is a little on the chubbier side, chin-length and curly dark purple hair, tan skin, bright green eyes

. Bio: Third daughter and child of Krystal and Nereus. Recently discovered her witch abilities, but is currently attending a private school in Linphea before deciding to attend Cloud Tower in the next few years. A meek and kind of sensitive girl, making her an easy target for bullies who are not aware of her princess status. She is pretty awkward when interacting with others and tends to keep to herself when in unfamiliar situations or royal events, but she is trying to work on her confidence more. As she recently discovered her magic she feels pretty conflicted over her status as a witch, as she used to be teased by some nastier witches and does not want to turn out like them. Having probably the worst time growing up compared to her sisters, all she really wants is to find her own place and role in the world someday. Unlike her older sisters, she is not the best swimmer around so she prefers to spend most of her time in Linphea.

* Dahlia

. Age: 9

. Magic Title: none atm

. Physical Description: short and average build, shoulder-length and straight lavender hair, tan skin, pale blue eyes

. Bio: Youngest daughter and child of Krystal and Nereus, currently still attending homeschooled lessons before attending a normal school environment in the next couple of years. As the youngest princess she has it the easiest, and is the most well-adjusted to both sides of her heritage than her older sisters. A sweet and playful little girl, she loves making new friends and giving others a chance. She tends to trust others easily especially when they show kindness towards her, which unfortunately makes her blind to their plots of taking advantage of her and her princess status.

[raointean]

The Crowning of Elwing

(Elwing’s coronation from Arondir’s pov)

The coronation was silent. It was not the respectful silence of Dior and Nimloth’s coronation, which Arondir had attended only four years before, but the silence of death and devastation. No bird sang. The rush of the river seemed strangely muted and no wind blew through the sage and heather blossoms on its banks.

It seemed that all of the One’s creation mourned with them.

Arondir forced himself to focus on the hastily-built dais before him. In the center sat Princess Elwing in a midnight blue dress and she wore a veil over her face. On each side of her kneeled a handmaiden, and behind her stood a devotee of Nienna. Arondir found it quite fitting that their newest ruler was to be crowned by the last remaining disciple of the Vala of Grief.

The handmaidens pulled back the princess’s veil and, in the silence, the rustle of fabric could be heard throughout the crowd. Elwing’s face was confused and tearstained, but she kept her composure admirably. Behind her, Nienna’s devotee raised the Nauglamír for all to see.

Her voice rang loud and clear. “I present to you, Elwing, Queen of Dori-” she froze and her eyes closed in resignation. She took a deep breath and started again. “I present to you, Elwing, Queen of the Doriathrim. All hail the queen.”

As one, the crowd sank to its knees and as one, they replied. “We hail thee, Queen Elwing.”

Grief hit Arondir like an avalanche. Queen Elwing was not the queen of Doriath because Doriath was gone. Doriath was gone just like his family. 

Fimbrethil had died defending the princes. His father had rushed to Menegroth to aid in the battle as soon as the sounds reached them and his mother had followed to find her daughter. Arondir did not know what had become of his brothers, but he had not seen hide nor hair of them during the long months it had taken to reach the Havens of Sirion.

And what had Arondir done? He had fled like a coward. His gentle soul had quailed at the thought of blood and death so he had turned tail and run. Had he fought, perhaps his family would still be alive. Or at least he would have traveled the long road to Mandos’ halls with them.

Instead, he was alone, paying the price for his cowardice. Never again, he resolved. He had never been able to bring himself to kill anything, but he would push past that and he would learn. He would turn himself into an unstoppable killing machine and when those thrice damned Fëanorians returned, they would pay for their crimes.

[vote-mean-lesbians]

mean lesbians: a comprehensive list

Below are the ladies we have selected, both from submissions from you lovely people, and our own brains. The way this tournament will work is that 32 of these bitches will go against each other in the first round until there is one final mean lesbian standing. Then, we run the other 32 lesbians against each other until there is only one of that group, and then the winner of the first round and the winner of the second go head to head to determine who is the biggest, meaniest, lesbianest one in all the land

But! In order to do this we still need your help. We have almost enough mean lesbians (enough for the first 32) but are 1 short of having 32 for the second round. Please continue to submit more if your favorite mean lesbian is not already included below. Refer to our pinned post for mean lesbian qualifying criteria

We have enough for 32 in each group, thanks everyone for your suggestions!

Now, onto the lesbians:

1. Haruka Tenoh - Sailor Moon

2. Michiru Kaiou - Sailor Moon

3. Machi Komacine - Hunter x Hunter

4. Juri Arisugawa - Revolutionary Girl Utena

5. Shiori Takatsuki - Revolutionary Girl Utena

6. Anthy Himemiya - Revolutionary Girl Utena

7. Cheryl Blossom - Riverdale

8. Regina Mills - Once Upon a Time

9. Tenko Chabashira - Danganronpa 3

10. Himiko Yumeno - Danganronpa 3

11. Hiyoko Saionji - Danganronpa 2

12. Celestia Ludenberg - Danganronpa 1

13. Reyna Ramierz-Arellano - Heroes of Olympus

14. Thalia Grace - Percy Jackson and the Olympians

15. Olivier Armstrong - Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood 

16. Willow Rosenberg...evil - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

17. Jolyne Cujoh - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Part 6

18. Abigail Jones - The Great Pretender

19. Shinobu Kocho - Demon Slayer

20. Misa Amane - Death Note

21. Rem - Death Note

22. Mai Valentine - Yu-Gi-Oh!

23. Kou Seiya - Sailor Moon

24. Kou Taiki - Sailor Moon

25. Kou Yaten - Sailor Moon

26. Sailor Lead Crow - Sailor Moon

27. Homura Akemi - Madoka Magica

28. Kyoko Sakura - Madoka Magica

29. Ishizu Ishtar - Yu-Gi-Oh!

30. Kyoko Kirigri - Danganronpa 1

31. Rose Lalonde - Homestuck

32. Kanaya Maryam - Homestuck

33. Vriska Serket - Homestuck

34. Foo Fighters/F.F. - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Part 6

35. Ermes Costello - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Part 6

36. Blue - Blue’s Clues

37. Trixie Troublebee - Lazytown

38. Yoru/War Devil - Chainsaw Man

39. Quanxi - Chainsaw Man

40. Taylor Swift - Real Life

41. Miorine Rembran - The Witch from Mercury

42. Harrowhark Nonagesimus - The Locked Tomb

43. Gideon Nav - The Locked Tomb

44. Ianthe Tridentarius - The Locked Tomb

45. Amity Blight - The Owl House

46. Princess Bean - Disenchantment

47. Talia Winters - Babylon 5

48. Susan Ivanova - Babylon 5

49. Poison Ivy - DC Universe

50. Susie - Deltarune

51. Melanie King - The Magnus Archives

52. Daisy Tonner - The Magnus Archives

53. Kira Nerys - Star Trek

54. Santana Lopez - Glee

55. Catra - She-Ra and the Princess’ of Power

56. Azula - Avatar the Last Airbender

57. Clarisse La Rue - Percy Jackson

58. Raven - Teen Titans

59. Haley - Stardew Valley

60. Roxy - Five Night's At Freddy's Security Breach

61. Jessie "Prepare for Trouble and Make it Double!" - Pokemon

62. Regina Georgie - Mean Girls

63. Heather Chandler - Heathers

64. Villanelle - Killing Eve

[decadebattle]

Mean Girls Showdown Finalists

Cleopatra "Cleo" Smith (Clone High) VS Cleo De Nile (Monster High)

Boscha (The Owl House) VS Miranda Priestly (The Devil Wears Prada)

Tammy Larsen (Bob's Burgers) VS Mindy (Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)

Caroline Bingley (Pride and Prejuduce) VS Paulina (Danny Phantom)

Chloe Bourgeois (Miraculous Ladybug) VS Raquelle (Barbie)

Brittany Matthews (Most Popular Girls in School) VS Bitch Pudding (Robot Chicken)

Kate Sanders (Lizzie McGuire) VS Sharpay Evans (High School Musical)

Courtney Shayne (Jawbreaker) VS Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body)

Amy Wong (Futurama) VS Trixie Tang (Fairly Odd Parents)

La Cianega Boulevardez (Proud Family) VS Mandy (Totally Spies)

Lisa Silver (American Dad) VS Connie D'Amico (Family Guy)

Quinn Morgendorffer (Daria) VS Libby Chessler (Sabrina the Teenage Witch)

Cheryl Blossom (Riverdale) VS Pacifica Northwest (Gravity Falls)

Betty Rizzo (Grease) VS Amber Von Tussle (Hairspray)

Regina George (Mean Girls) VS Chris Hargersen (Carrie)

Kyouya Otori (Ouran Host Club) VS Emperor Kuzco (Emperor's New Groove)

Sunset Shimmer (Equestria Girls) VS Mertle Edmunds (Lilo and Stitch)

Bonnie Rockwaller (Kim Possible) VS Missy Meanie (Ned's Declassified)

Princess Morbucks (Powerpuff Girls) VS Angelica Pickles (Rugrats)

Whittany and Brittany Biskit VS Kirstee and Kasey (Bratz)

London Tipton (Suite Life of Zack and Cody) VS Sue Ellen Mischke (Seinfeld)

Cher Horowitz (Clueless) VS Heather (Total Drama Island)

Veronica Lodge (Archie Comics) VS Alexandra Cabot (Josie and the Pussycats)

The Heathers (Heathers) VS the Ashleys (Recess)

Butt-Head (Beavis and Butt-Head) VS Nanette Manoir (Angela Anaconda)

James (Pokemon) VS.Junko Gnoshima (Danganronpa)

[n0prom1ses]

N0PROM1SES :  independent,  semi  selective,  semi  to  low  active  multimuse  blog  that  consists  of  canon  characters  from  disney  channel  shows,  teen  wolf,  twilight,  wednesday,  films,  and  many  more.  brought  back  on  september  2023  by  lumi  (  26+,  pst/cst,  she/her  ). 

sideblog to @havntedbase

currently most active : bubbles utonium , alex russo , cat valentine , rosalinda fiore , mitchie torres , alice cullen , heather mcnamara , wednesday addams

guidelines , muses , ect.

BE KIND AND RESPECTFUL: i do not want any ooc drama at any time. this is a safe space just to write and have some fun. if there is any problem, i am always open to chat. AGE: i am 26+ years old and am only comfortable writing with muns AND muses that are 18+, so please be respectful of that. DO NOT RUSH: there are days where i just don’t have the energy to write, so please be respectful of that. and you don’t have to worry about rushing either! take your time. this is a hobby! TRIGGER WARNINGS: so since dark subjects might come up, they will be tagged accordingly! i will absolutely NOT write any of the following - eating disorders (my trigger), c*lowns (my phobia), large age gaps, incest (including step siblings/step parents), rape, any form of abuse, ect. SHIPPING: this is a multi ship blog so no ships will intersect with each other unless plotted. i also will not and do not accept force ship. this is all based off of chemistry. i also don't just ship, i welcome all platonic, familial, enemy things! sonny is also fluid. BANNED FCS: the ones who have asked not to be written, serious criminal charges, youtubers, ect. to name a few: amber heard, logan paul, lea michele, ect. if you have any questions, just let me know!

where else to find me:

@snnydcys , @snnynatural  ,  @greatcstarcher​

credit:

PSD: @ashtrqy (deviant art) - midnight city ICON TEMPLATE: me

FILM MUSES

alice  cullen  from  twilight saga   portrayed  by  lalisa  manoban

rosalie  hale  from  twilight  saga   portrayed  by  bae  joohyun

TELEVISION MUSES

blossom  utonium  from  powerpuff  girls   portrayed  by  park  sooyoung

bubbles  utonium  from  powerpuff  girls   portrayed  by  minatozaki  sana

buttercup  utonium  from  powerpuff  girls   portrayed  by  jung  hoyeon

cat  valentine  from  victorious   portrayed  by  park  chaeyoung

dani  santiago  from  glee   portrayed  by  demi  lovato   homosexual

katherine  pierce  from  the  vampire  diaries   portrayed  by  hande  erçel   exclusive  elena  @greedaeye

wednesday  addams  from  wednesday   portrayed  by  jenna  ortega asexual

MISC MUSES

beatrice  fox  from  red  white  and  royal  blue   portrayed  by  ellie  bamber

heather  mcnamara  from  heathers  the  musical   portrayed  by  kim  jennie   modernized

june  claremont  diaz  from  red  white  and  royal  blue   portrayed  by  selena  gomez

DISNEY / DISNEY CHANNEL MUSES

alexandra margarita  russo   from  wizards  of  waverly  place   portrayed  by  selena  gomez

charlote  la  bouff  from  princess  and  the  frog   portrayed  by  dove  cameron

evie  grimhilde   from  descendants  trilogy   portrayed  by  sofia  carson

macy  misa   from  jonas   portrayed  by  nicole  anderson

madison  rooney   from  liv  and  maddie   portrayed  by  dove  cameron

mal  from descendants trilogy  portrayed by dove cameron

mitchie torres  from camp rock  portrayed by demi lovato they/them/she/her

olivia  rooney   from  liv  and  maddie   portrayed  by  dove  cameron

rosalinda  maria  montoya  fiore   from  princess  protection  program   portrayed  by  demi  lovato now on @qveenr0sie

tawni  hart   from  sonny  with  a  chance   portrayed  by  sydney  sweeney

tinkerbell  from  peter  pan   portrayed  by  sabrina  carpenter   modernized

[appleved]

🍎APPLE   BLOSSOM   DOSSIER

PROFILE

BIRTH NAME: Eve Pomeroy Arsenault PLEDGE NAME: Apple Blossom ALIASES: Apple , Pomme , Her Future Lady in Red ( by Hydrangea ) , Tarte Tatin ( by Rosehip ) , Orchard Girl , Girl Arsenault ( by the Di Angelo Brothers / derogatory ) , The Priestess of Empathy . AGE: 22-24 , 200 + ( Post-War ) GENDER: Cis Female PRONOUNS: She / Her ORIENTATION: Demiromantic Asexual SPECIES: Human ( Formerly , Verse Dependent ) , Sanguis Bestia BIRTHPLACE: Acerbus, Meliora RESIDENCE(S) , VERSE DEPENDENT: Arsenault Orchards , Acerbus Cathedral , Castle Town Cathedral RELIGION: Strages MBTI: INFJ-T

FAMILY

PARENTS: Adélard (Cypress) Arsenault, Pomeroy (Heather) Arsenault. SIBLINGS: Régis (Vetiver) Arsenault / Derogatory, Émeric (Aster) Arsenault, Sévère (Saffron) Arsenault.

APPEARANCE

HAIR: Chestnut Brown EYES: Emerald Green HEIGHT: 5'6'' (5’9’’ in heels) DOMINANT HAND: right SCARS: A large burn mark across the back of her right hand often covered by purple gloves and a bite mark on her left arm closer to her shoulder (verse dependent) OTHER TRAITS: Straight hair , bangs , notably in red , white , and pink , wears purple gloves , prefers silk over lace.

PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: Hard working , Proud , Modest , Mannerly , Careful , Determined , Responsible , Honest , Loyal , Empathetic , Serious , Brave . NEGATIVE TRAITS: Moody , Holds Grudges , Sneaky , Snippy , Sarcastic , Self-Sacrificial (due to her Regalia) , Hard to Read , Blunt , Depressive , Distant , Stingy (because she says there’s always a bargain to find). LIKES: Apples (very proud of her orchard) , Art , Artifacts , Architecture , Painting, Preserving History , Roses , Rose Honey, Rose Honey Tarts , Horses , Buttercup (her horse) , Competitive Riding , Fencing , Winter , Snow , Money . DISLIKES: Vetiver , Immodesty , Vetiver , Overly Flashy People , Vetiver , People that Disrespect Religion , People that Disrespect the Church , Vetiver , People that Disrespect History , People that Disrespect the Priestesses , Vetiver , Disrespect , Art Thieves , Having a full Dance Card , Pushy men , Vetiver . FEARS: Fire (minor) , Vetiver , Losing the Castle Town Cathedral , losing what’s left of the Strages Tome . PASSIONS: Hopes to inherit the family orchard and open the import roads in Rhodomel to Sumerki Mountain to bring apples to Sumerki (unfulfilled), wants to one day visit Sumerki to see snow for the first time, finishing her time as an apprenticeship, protecting the Cathedral .

BASIC BACKGROUND

The only daughter of the Arsenaults , a Merchant family who owns the most grandiose Orchard in Meliora . A fateful tea party ends up bonding her with an unlikely band of society's misfits , she winds up assisting The Princess of Meliora to prove a certain Bestia's innocence .

A bitter truth , a familial betrayal , and an accidental fire makes her an outcast from society ; with no means of connections to her friends and having lost everything , she soon fled and sought sanctuary from the Demiurge of Destruction where she soon underwent the trials and shed her mortality . She soon claimed the Pledge name of ' Apple Blossom ' and became one of Invidia's loyal priestesses .

REGALIA / ABILITIES

SENSUS - Apple Blossom has the ability to link herself with those expressing the same emotion as her and communicate with them . When using this ability on a person , she could draw out more of the truth than they wanted . If you were upset , you could link to someone else that was upset and draw out a clear statement of anything that was asked of them , the downside is that she needs to express the same emotion as the person or creature .

CONTRACTOR - When linked in the "empathy state" , she can share or transfer pain between the person she's linked with , she can take someone else's pain for herself and at the same time , she can cause harm to herself and transfer that pain to another person .

[brawny-and-friends]

Based on a true story.

Brawny needs to get better about letting his guard down during an active confrontation.  Especially with @eliyora.  But @supergeekie and @princessheatherblossom definitely share the blame for putting her up to it.

Vectors by:

 https://www.deviantart.com/vanhorsing/favourites/60769537/van-horsing

https://www.deviantart.com/avatar-j24

https://www.deviantart.com/kishmond

Support us:

https://www.patreon.com/swiftyuki

https://www.patreon.com/Brawny_Buck

https://www.teepublic.com/user/brawnybuck

[crazydreamercycle]

A catalogue of names that are just straight up normal words

Female

Acacia

Amber

Amethyst

Amity

Anemone

Anise

April

Aria

Aspen

Aster

Aura

Aurora

Autumn

Avalon

Avril (April, French)

Azalea

Azure

Bee

Beryl

Blanche (White, French)

Blondie

Blossom

Brandy

Bunny

Burgundy

Cadence

Calanthe

Calla

Camellia

Candy

Caprice

Chalice

Charisma

Charity

Chastity

Cherish

Cherry

Clarity

Clematis

Clemency

Columbine

Comfort

Coral

Coriander

Crystal

Daffodil

Dahlia

Daisy

Dawn

Delight

Delta

Destiny

Diamond

Dot

Dove

Dream

Easter

Ebony

Eglantine

Emerald

Epiphany

Essence

Fae

Faith

Fancy

Fawn

Felicity

Fern

Flower

Gay

Genesis

Genie

Gill

Ginger

Glory

Grace

Harmony

Hazel

Heather

Heaven

Holly

Honey

Honour

Hope

Hyacinth

Iris

Ivy

Jacinth

Jasmine

Jonquil

Journey

Joy

July

June

Kay

Kitty

Lacy

Lark

Laurel

Lavender

Liberty

Lilac

Lily

Lotus

Love

Magnolia

Maple

Marigold

May

Meadow

Melody

Mercy

Merry

Minty

Miracle

Missy

Misty

Modesty

Monday

Myrtle

Nan

Nanny

Olive

Opal

Paisley

Pansy

Patience

Peace

Pearl

Pen

Penny

Peony

Petal

Petunia

Piety

Piper

Pleasance

Poppy

Porsche

Posy

Precious

Primrose

Princess

Prissy

Queen

Rainbow

Rose

Rosemary

Rosy

Royalty

Ruby

Rue

Sapphire

Scarlet

Scout

Serenity

Shell

Sherry

Sienna

Spirit

Spring

Star

Sue

Summer

Sunshine

Symphony

Tansy

Tawny

Teal

Temperance

Tempest

Tiara

Topaz

Treasure

Trinity

Unique

Unity

Velvet

Verity

Violet

Willow

Winter

Male

Ace

Archer

Art

August

Baker

Bishop

Blaze

Brand

Brock

Bud

Buddy

Buster

Case

Cash

Chance

Chip

Chuck

Clair (Light/clear, French)

Clay

Clement

Cliff

Colt

Constant

Coy

Crew

Curt

Dane

Deacon

Dean

Den

Drake

Duke

Dutch

Earl

Earnest

Fisher

Fletcher

Flint

Ford

Forest

Foster

Fox

Frank

Garland

Gene

Gore

Grant

Gray

Grey

Griffin

Gunner

Guy

Hale

Hall

Hardy

Heath

Herb

Jack

Junior

Kelvin

King

Kip

Lane

Legend

Leo

Major

Mark

Marshal

Mason

Mat

Merit

Messiah

Miles

Moss

Newt

Noble

Norm

Pace

Peers

Peregrine

Pierce

Piers

Placid

Porter

Prince

Prosper

Ray

Read

Red

Reed

Rich

Ridge

Rob

Rocky

Rod

Roman

Rusty

Satchel

Scott

Shaw

Shepherd

Sly

Smith

Sonny

Spike

Stan

Sterling

Stew

Stone

Tad

Talon

Tanner

Teddy

Tiger

Trace

Van

Walker

Ward

Webster

Will

Wilt

Wolf

Woody

Wright

Unisex

Alpha

Angel

Ash

Berry

Blessing

Briar

Brook

Carol

Cat

Cedar

Christmas

Cyan

Dell

Derby

Dusty

Flick

Fortune

Gale

Garnet

Happy

Harper

Haven

Haze

Honor

Hunter

Indigo

Jade

Jewel

Justice

Kit

Lake

Lucky

Max

Merle

Noel

Ocean

Page

Patsy

Phoenix

Praise

Prudence

Rain

Raven

Reign

River

Rowan

Royal

Sage

Sandy

September

Sequoia

Silver

Sky

Sparrow

Storm

Sunday

Sunny

Temple

Wisdom

[pinkandbluebracket]

Round One has now concluded. Here's who made it into Round Two:

Round 2, Side A Will Begin on April 2nd

🌸Side A

-Megurine Luka and Hatsune Miku (Vocaloid)

-Kirby and Meta Knight (Kirby)

-Mabel and Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

-Jesse and James (Pokémon)

-Hilda Valentine Goneril and Marianne Von Edmund (Fire Emblem Three Houses)

-Cure Black and Cure White (Futari Wa Precure)

-Perfuma and Mermista (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

-Charlotte and Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)

-Saiki Kusuo and Kaidou Shun (The Disastrous Life of Saiki K)

-Hinata and Yuta Aoi (Ensemble Stars)

-Momoi Airi and Hinomori Shizuku (Project SEKAI)

-Sylveon (Pokémon)

-Unikitty and Puppycorn (Unikitty!)

-Piglet and Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh)

-Blossom and Bubbles (The Powerpuff Girls)

-Magenta and Blue (Blue's Clues)

💙Side B

-Max Caulfield and Chloe Price (Life is Strange)

-Vi and Jinx (Arcane)

-Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash (My Little Pony)

-Satsuki Momoi and Daiki Aomine (Kuroko no Basket)

-Asmodeus Alice and Iruma Suzuki (Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun!)

-Yuki Rurikawa and Muku Sakisaka (A3!)

-Rozaliya and Liliya Olenyeva (Honkai Impact 3rd)

-Martha Dunnstock and Veronica Sawyer (Heathers)

-Lewis Pepper and Vivi Yukino(Mystery Skulls)

-Heartful Punch and Undine Wells (Sleepless Domain)

-Stephanie and Sportacus (LazyTown)

-Ami Onuki and Yumi Yoshimura (Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi)

-Annalise and Erika (Barbie: Princess and the Pauper)

-Flora and Bloom (Winx Club)

-Five Pebbles and Looks to the Moon (Rain World)

-Pink and Blue Crewmate (Among Us)

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale s6 Ep 19 (#114: Witches of Riverdale).

Friends! Romans!  This episode was unbelievable. 

I watched this on the treadmill because I’m an #overseas Riverdale fan and I get these episodes a whole month and change after the stateside folks but I had to get off the moving walkway because I was laughing too much. I haven’t experienced this much untrammeled joy from a TV show in my recent (very faulty) memory.

Some disclaimers:

I don’t know anything about Sabrina Pun-Name (I mean really, they gave a witch the last name SPELL + MAN) so if you’re someone who knows the deep lore of that show, please let me know if I’m missing the point entirely. By the way, what I got out of this episode is that Sabrina is an unethical asshole but I don’t know if having context for her life would make me feel differently. 

This recap is going to have a lot of fandom asides and performance commentary which I usually try to keep to a minimum. 

First thing!  Jughead is narrating even though he’s dead. He acknowledges that he’s dead. This is headspinningly funny because he calls himself the narrator, and he’s dead, and he’s also somehow fully aware of what’s going on while he’s technically mostly dead (in the Princess Bride way!) and telling us about it.   He’s a dead, literally unreliable narrator who is also self aware that he is both in a story and also talking to me, a Netflix subscriber.  Riverdale is genius.

The survivors of the Girls Count When It’s a Shitty Thing version of the Death of the First Born (sons) are in the lovely cemetery paying their respects to Nana Blossom. They are Heather,  Betty, Veronica, Tabitha and Cheryl.   Nana Rose gets a very beautiful pink flecked marble gravestone that looks like wounded flesh actually, so given that she died of asphyxiation following immolation, this choice is very Cheryl. 

I’m assuming that everyone else got a headstone too just gauging from where people are looking and gesturing, but the production doesn’t actually show us, I assume for budget issues.

Poor Cheryl. How come fandom never talks about Cheryl’s trauma?  She’s always been so tribal and family obsessed, but one by one all her family has died before she even reached 30. 

Percival has the gall to show up to this gathering with Uncle Fucking Frank in tow. 

Cheryl, in the throes of her grief, yells at him about killing “my Nana and my Tee-Tee.”  Cheryl grieves literally nobody else.

Veronica yells at Percival about killing Anthony because Baby Anthony was a Baby. Percival takes his leave, which makes Jughead sound suddenly energized. He tells us with palpable gusto - “I’ll let you in on a secret.”  To which I must wonder - Who does he think he’s talking to?

The funeral was a misdirect, he says, because it wasn’t a genuine funeral since no actual bodies were in the grave. They’re dead, for sure, and in the morgue freezers.  Jughead says this like somehow this is exceptional, even though it isn’t.

We cut to Dr. Curdle (no longer referred to as Junior) eating a  sandwich dead-eyed and alone in his work room (complete with apple!).  I object to this.  Dr. Curdle is a fun funky little weirdo - he’s a big fan of Josie and he’s music night date (boy?)friends with Principal Weatherbee. Why is he relegated to having a sad solo sandwich lunch in his depressing workroom? His meal is so wholesome too - milk, apple, sandwich. He is pivotal to all the Scooby plans and yet nobody thinks to invite him to lunch - he is no more or less off putting than Kevin or Jughead at their worst, so what gives?

Then we are given a glimpse of a moment that made the top of my head twist right off:

Kevin tends to a fussy Baby Anthony in his crib.  Kevin touches Baby Anthony and tucks him in. Which is more than the now-dead Fangs ever did before his demise. 

Kevin, Cheryl, Veronica, Heather Tabitha and Betty take in Alice’s newscast, which claims that it was gang warfare that resulted in so many deaths at the Toni/Fangs wedding celebration at the Whte Wyrm.   Betty switches it off, annoyed.  Tabitha speculates the reason for Percival not killing every First Born in town - that it would be harder to cover up.  Otherwise there might be thousands of deaths. How big is Riverdale again??

We come to the Sabrina (What was Her Name Again) Spellman introduction.  She’s Buffy, right?  “Cheerleader by Day, Queen of Hell by Night” sounds like Buffy Summers, who had an intentionally silly name and not as on the nose as Spell-man.  Heather is doing the exposition dump on Sabrina. 

The resurrection attempted by the necromancing witches have to be performed within 3 days. You know. Like that other guy. The guy who came back on the 3rd day.   They only have 12 hours left, is what Veronica says, but Sabrina is nowhere to be seen.  

Cheryl has decided to display, among all her other art (like the one dedicated to long-forgotten Minerva Marble), her self portrait as a Vixen/ Furry / Fox Head thing to all her friends, who presumably are too wigged out to notice or ask about it. 

Kevin wants to know how and why Baby Anthony didn’t die, even though he was a First Born.  So how exactly does the First Born business work though?? First born to either parent qualifies? (Jughead wasn’t FP’s first born but I suppose he was Glady’s).   Betty points out that Kevin is also a first born. But then again, not every single first born in Riverdale died, so what gives?

Apart and hidden from the others, Kevin tells Betty that he thinks the reason he was permitted to survive this very shoddily constructed plague was to be punished with survival.  This is bullshit.  He has no answer to what would be worse than murdered or how survival counts as punishment.  No answer, none. He just says this so he can join Moose, who has already absconded to NYC.  He makes shit up about doing this to ‘protect’ others.  Betty arbitrarily says that ‘everyone else will understand’ but actually I think Kevin is RUNNING AWAY FROM single fatherhood with Baby Anthony.  Betty understands the urge to run away from being a parent, apparently, but the facts are these:

Baby Anthony is an orphan now, and the person who would’ve been his third parent, the person who in fact began court proceedings to gain sole custody over him is completely abandoning him now that he’s alone in the world (notwithstanding the complete faith that everyone decides to have put in Sabrina).  Kevin is a POS.

Meanwhile, Reggie, who I think is also a first born, has just made a delivery to Percival of the Daggers of Megiddo (which google says is a thing invented in the Omens movie series, and are weapons intended to defeat the antichrist) all the way from Rome. 

He did what now? Reggie went to Rome and obtained “arcane objects of immense power” on his own and we don’t get to see any of it?   

Reggie is a very precise speaker. He says he did enjoy the trip to Rome, but is irked by the death of his ‘high school friends.’  Not “friends from High School days,” not “old friends,”  and definitely not “friends” in the present sense.  

While Veronica was absent from the Babylonium for all of exactly 60 hours, Percival has managed to call a board meeting, mind control everyone into both showing up and doing his bidding (I presume mind control was involved, though Veronica was not actually beloved by her own board) and got Reggie installed as CEO. 

Either Veronica doesn’t know or she doesn’t care, because she’s ensconced at Thornhill with all the surviving girls of Riverdale.   Betty bursts in on the sad group, who are just staring off into the middle distance, to say that Mary Andrews asks her what’s going on with Archie, about whom she had a ‘bad feeling.’  Betty sounds rather frantic as she asks what they will tell Mary Andrews if the resurrection plan doesn’t work. 

I’m going to do two things here : 1) snort at the idea that Mary Andrews gives enough of a shit about Archie to have any sort of long distance intuition about him whatsoever and 2) be sad at the thought that absolutely nobody, not JB, not Gladys, nobody, has any sort of need to keep in regular contact with Jughead to make the same kind of inquiry. 

Remembering she is Catholic only in moments of need (like most of us), Veronica cautiously asks where ‘the souls’ of the deceased are, so that we can get the theology download.   They’re all in the Sweet Hereafter!

We get shown what that is!!

They’re playing Fred Astaire’s Cheek to Cheek throughout for this portion. I love this song and in this rendition.  “Heaven/ I’m in Heaven/ and My Heart beats so/ that I can hardly speak” is the way the lyrics go.  In case we the audience might be confused about what this place is. (The lyrics will do the heavy lifting the scriptwriters refuse to engage with!)

Archie’s Sweethereafter are a wife and two kids in front of a heavily laden dinner table in his house that he never wants to leave. The wife is Betty.  They named their kids Polly and Fred. 

I don’t understand this culture of naming people after other people, especially not those who lived unhappy lives or died violent deaths.  My culture doesn’t do this.  Plus there’s something frightening about Betty naming her kid Polly - it’s not as awful as naming her ALICE perhaps, but Betty had a lot of intensely negative, conflicted feelings about Polly.   Same with Archie naming his son after his father.  Grandpa Fred is such a sainted presence in Dad Archie’s mind, that I am immediately worried about Little Fred.

Little Fred is great at music and sports, but performs academically poorly. How interesting! In Archie’s perfect world, he wants a son who struggles academically and is only good at the things that he himself tried to be good at. I say tried to be, because it’s not clear whether Archie ever got actual A’s in music or if his one child molestor teacher gave him those grades for obvious reasons.  This is the opposite of, say, the desires of Forrest Gump, who also struggled but wanted his son to be really good at school.  Archie’s heaven is appallingly self serving - he wants his kid to be bad at school so he can comfort his kid about bad grades.  He will concede a daughter to Betty that achieves as much as she did.  

Oh and his same dog from his childhood is an immortal freak animal that never died.   OR he did the Michael Jackson thing and insisted on owning a series of dogs that he called Vegas over and over.

Jughead’s heaven is markedly different.  He is served coffee by Pop at the thriving Diner, with an array of Mad House Glads, his comic book, laid out in front of him.  I know this is exposition but the egotism of this is so funny.  Jughead in heaven is only inspired by the evidence of his own prolific creativity.  Oh, and further, Jughead has great draftsmanship in Heaven, instead of his sad stick figure art that he had to make do with in reality. 

Toni and Fang’s joint heaven is a very weird mishmash. I suspect (because I don't like Fangs) that this is Toni’s heaven and Fangs is just along for the ride (much like Heaven Betty is in Archie’s fantasy). 

Serpents and the Ghoulies sign a peace treaty on what looks like parchment paper. They have expensive pens in a little marble and brass stand like they’re at a summit of actual political leaders.  I am surprised they don’t have tiny flags arrayed to mark the occasion. Toni’s vanity is on a scale I had not expected from her to date.   She wants to act like head of state, and for GANGS to function like sovereign nations.  Toni takes the title Serpent Queen really very literally.  (I also think she doesn’t know a whole lot about the way treaties between warring nations frequently DON’T function, but she studied social work and not history or polisci so I will have to let this go.) 

Fangs says that Riverdale will be ‘more unified’ but I’m not sure what this means. The two gangs are no longer at war, so are they diving up territory? Did they merge?? 

Anthony is all grown up and looks older than both of his parents.  And Twyla is there with her son Timmy. The two boys look at each other meaningfully.  I’m very surprised by how much Anthony is styled like Malachai, formerly of the less Disneyfied Ghoulies - cut off sleeves, curls, muscular.  And Timmy the Ghoulie Prince is Jughead coded.

Back in the real world, Kevin is hurriedly packing up.  I hate him because he takes care to pack a big framed photo of Baby Anthony in the act of abandoning Baby Anthony wholesale. There was no discussion at all whatsoever for who should be responsible for keeping this infant alive in Kevin’s absence, you know, but gosh, Kevin will take A PHOTO with him. He is met at the door by his father and Uncle Fucking Frank, who say Percival wants a word.

Meanwhile, Reggie invites his father to come over and enjoy himself at the Babylonium, dancing and swaggering alone in the CEO suite in front of his own Lodge-esque portrait.   Reggie’s main connection to anything in this world, love or hate, is about his father, but his main influence is Hiram. 

And finally!  We are introduced to Sabrina Spellman, who took her own sweet time coming over to Riverdale because there were other things happening in other “realms.”

Then follows what must be a crossover or something because I just lost my mind. 

But I have to also ask: Am I supposed to hate Sabrina Spellman after seeing her in action? Is this what she was like on her own show?  A self serving, obnoxious liar? 

The next bit is loosely organized into a list of Sabrina Spellman’s Sins Against Riverdale:

Sabrina Sin 1: Forced conversion under a situation of duress

They are down to a precious few hours to resurrect the dead, and the first thing Sabrina makes everyone do is convert to a new religion.  They have to do a bunch of things - sign a document, chant a chant, do a dance.   All while the confirmed actual witches wink and smile at each other like creeps.  By the way, the conversion ritual is done in common speech, but I will note that Sabrina also uses Latin for her spells!  The ones that count!

However, the ceremony looked like a lot of fun and the Catholic Church could take some notes.

Sabrina Sin 2: Give incomplete information

Sabrina forced desperate people to convert to her religion, then tells them only in implication that there are OTHER ways beyond the thing she wants to do first, for her own personal reasons. 

She also only explains that the dead have to WANT TO return only after they have Jughead out of the freezer and on their ceremonial table. Except, of course, this also turns out to be a bald-faced lie.

Sabrina Sin 3: Sabrina doesn’t have to pick the body of a person she finds fuckable as the test subject to bring back from the dead as the No 1. candidate.  But she picks Jughead on the basis of finding him more fuckable than Archie.  (Given that they’ve left a baby behind, shouldn’t Fangs or Toni be the first one she picks, you know, for humanitarian reasons??)

Sabrina Sin 4:  Sabrina does not need to be the one to go, at all, to persuade the almost-completely-dead to return.  She has no connection to Jughead (or anyone) but she insists on going so she can fuck her boyfriend using Jughead’s reanimated corpse.  

The truncated bits of information she delivers is passive-aggresively designed to dissuade Jughead from coming back to life, more than anything else.   This is a complete nonstarter, to say to someone who is in some version of heaven, Come Back and Fight a Terrible Battle.  

Jughead turns out to be aware he is dead and in heaven and  to have a memory of his own death which he recalls with pain. To be fair, Jughead’s death was the most terrifying - he was absolutely alone, underground and afraid and in pain. Jughead also has retained all of his memories, including the fact that Tabitha told him they are overwhelmingly likely to lose.  

Jughead also mentions as a passing point, almost, that he can hear in heaven. Which means being unable to hear had persistently been upsetting him while alive, even though he did not ever, ever complain about it, to anyone, Tabitha included.  After a childhood in which those he loved most barely ever noticed his very serious troubles and pains, he just carries this behavior of being completely silent about his misery into his adult life. He’s a very heartbreaking character, if you ever take a breath to think about it. 

Sabrina really does not try, at all, whatsoever. In some ways, she CAN’T because doesn’t KNOW any of these people, and in fact never bothered to ask key questions before she made the leap into the supernatural. She did not bother to ask Tabitha or Betty or Veronica or Cheryl (Jughead’s current VIP,  former VIP, and people who’ve known him the longest) what would be motivating factors to bring up to Jughead to get him to leave heaven.  

I can only conclude that Sabrina never intended to succeed in bringing Jughead back, and she only pretended to come up with this idea of fucking Jughead’s body at the last minute, even to Jughead.  

By the way, getting Riverdale information initially through fandom Tumblrs can be a very confusing experience. I saw the gifs about this episode weeks ago, and you know, anti-Jabithas did some bad faith editing there.  Jughead does say about Tabitha, “I do hope to see her soon,” but that’s where the gifset ended.  They left out the smirkily joking context of the rest of the scene, because Jughead immediately adds: “NOT TO SOON THOUGH.”  

While all that is going on, Kevin is being mind-invaded by Percival.  Kevin’s touchstones to sanity are - his childhood friendship with Betty and Veronica in S1 before it fell apart (this is very honest of the show), the brief moment of domestic cohesion with Toni and Fangs in S5 before that fell apart, and the one time he dressed up in a beehive wig with a full face of make-up during the Hedwig episode. He asks to be killed instead.

Anyhoo.

We are back at Thornhill where Sabrina walks out of the portal with the reanimated Jughead corpse.  Tabitha is elated to see Jughead, runs into his arms, says how much she missed him.  

The fact that Betty has absolutely nothing to say is a little shocking to me, but we’ll let that go. ( No we won’t, actually. I mean!  It seems so out of character! Does Betty now hate Jughead? But how is that possible??  It’s only when Nick says “What’s up ladies?” that Betty snarkily comments that it can’t be Jughead - why? Because he talks to women? But Jughead has never been shy or incompetent at wooing women, ever. It’s MEN’s romantic attentions he has a hard time with.  What the heck?)  

Sabrina Sin 5:  Sabrina the asshole smiles with inappropriate glee as she tells Jughead’s girlfriend and buddies that she’s inserted her own boyfriend’s soul into Jughead’s body.  Tabitha is both tearful and furious.  She says all the right things - You stole his body?? - and the suddenly super articulate Sabrina has all the answers lined up.  It’s understandable that Jughead didn’t want to leave heaven!  She “borrowed” his body “with Jughead’s consent” because we are not in a Wonder Woman movie!

Sabrina Sin 6:   Sabrina does not say she needs Nick there to do what she should have done to begin with - send in people who have an actual emotional connection with the dead to try to get them to come back.   This only proves that the entire shenanigans about shoving Nick Scratch into Jughead’s body after deciding Jughead’s corpse is cuter than Archie’s was just a way to get a warm sex toy.   

Because Sabrina has this unfair advantage of power and knowledge, none of the new witches dares to question her for wasting ALL THIS TIME in doing this bullshit with the Jughead corpse. 

I suppooooose you could say that Sabrina had to do this magic trick bit with reanimating Jughead’s corpse with her boyfriend’s soul so that she could get the buy in from the rest to temporarily die in order to visit the Sweet Hereafter to get their people back, but I still say that’s a post-facto justification and not persuasive.  These women were willing to call in a necromancer, and dance to the goddess Hecate and do all this other stuff, so she could’ve probably persuaded them without getting herself this nice bonus.   And wasting time (I cannot emphasize this enough). 

At this point though, I started to find this entire thing kind of funny.  Jughead has officially the most desirable body in Riverdale. Like, literally the most attractive and the most fuckable, even 60 hours after death, chilling in a freezer.  Not Archie of the Abs and the Square Jaw. Not Fangs, also of the Abs and Long Lashes.   It’s Jughead.

Then the two best people in Riverdale - who are a) Cheryl and b) Veronica - agree to die temporarily so that they can, respectively, retrieve an ex girlfriend who married a man and that man, and an ex boyfriend who cheated  on her with her best friend from high school after the two of them flaunted their relationship in her face so much that she had a minor nervous breakdown at someone else’s rehearsal dinner.  Oh and Cheryl will go in for Dagwood and her Nana as well. Betty can’t go because she is confirmed by Nick Scratch on sight to be the Whore of Babylon.   

Maybe you needed to be a CAOS viewer, but the degree to which Sabrina completely accepts her boyfriend’s conclusion without question struck me as very odd.

So Sabrina is going to summon Charon to do the crossing over.  Betty is the one that nudges Veronica into dying for Archie. It’s a form of full circle, I suppose - Veronica once gulped down a goblet of poison for Betty, so she might as well be a full service third wheel.(I hate this place. Please let me out.)

Percival demands that Reggie execute Kevin, in exchange for giving Kevin’s heart to Reggie’s ailing father.  Reggie’s reaction - adorably appalled - and his reason (he and Kevin go all the way back to “rugrat” days) were a balm given how much pain I was in about Veronica at this moment.

Then we get to a truly wonderful part of this episode (sincere!).   The three best girls of Riverdale (Tabitha, Cheryl and Veronica) are  lying on the floor, ready to die.  Veronica is worried about it hurting, but Cheryl, truly faithful, is “excited” to be able to say she died and came back.  Veronica lets the air out of her sails by saying, not incorrectly, that a lot of people can say that in Riverdale. 

Nick Scratch has to use an English language incantation, but so far, out of everyone who has done one of these, he gives it the due weight and seriousness of an actual magic spell.  Or maybe this is an innate Jughead ability that Nick Scratch is making the most of.  Jughead had such a good time using the formalist portentous language of the G&G game back in the day after all.   

Then Sabrina summons Charon with another English language doggerel poem.

AND CHARON APPEARS and we are in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer from the 1990s. Like TOTALLY  this is a Buffy episode!  I’m so into it now!  The red glowing eyes of Charon (no face to minimize special effects costs), the dorkily choreographed way he moves, the magic trick of collecting the coins on the girls’ eyes without touching them, the twinkly music, the very basic fog effect, and the fact that the ‘dead souls’ are expressed as glowing technicolor versions of the girls - just SO BUFFY.   It’s so FUN!!  Betty and Heather are appropriately creeped out by Charon. I LOVE that little performance detail Betty has where she just does not want to make eye contact with Charon.    

When the souls of the three brave girls leave for the beyond, Betty as The Responsible One asks what should happen next, and Sabrina puts her and Heather on guard duty.  Then Sabrina and Jughead as occupied by Nick Scratch smirk at each other about ‘going on a date’ and get a TERRIFIC nasty look from Betty.  (I love Lili Reinhart so much- she makes really fun decisions about how Betty reacts to any outlandish scenario.)

Veronica, in Archie’s heaven, lives right down the street and comes over only rarely.  Archie is living in a version of heaven where he won the war and then died.  This seems slightly different from the heaven Jughead was occupying during Sabrina’s visit.  Veronica says to a very stubborn Archie, who doesn’t want to leave his heaven, that he’ll “do the right thing,” not least because the Real Betty is still on the mortal plane, needing his help.  Dream Betty comes home. Dream Betty cooks and is able to offer to set out an extra plate at her table on a whim.  Dream Betty and Archie’s ideal Veronica are most definitely not best friends, definitely not B&V.  Dream Betty will look at a clearly rather upset Veronica, smile at her like a robot and blandly say “It’s nice to see you” before breezing off.  

I kind of hate Archie. 

In Toni and Fang’s dream world, they’ve stayed married for however old this tall muscular curly-haired Baby Anthony is supposed to be.  Very straight looking.  But!  Their son grew up gay (or bi, unclear).   The level of unnecessary ambiguity they’ve built into his coming out about who he wants to marry is annoying.  He wants to marry Twyla Twyst’s son Timmy.  When his parents act overjoyed at this announcement, No-Longer Baby Anthony says, joyfully relieved, that he wasn’t sure how they were going to take the news. 

Why? Because they are going to become in-laws with the Ghoulie leader who once cooperated with Percival to kidnap Anthony?   Or because he thinks his parents are straight married people who are uncomfortable with gayness? (But how can that be?  Toni and Fang’s generation of Serpents could barely scrape together a single straight person.)

Cheryl comes bursting into their domestic bliss with a very loud record scratch sound.  She should’ve gotten her slowmo entrance with a hair whip, but I suppose Sabrina wasted too much time up front for that.  

Cheryl is a trooper.  Or maybe she doesn’t pick up on this but in Toni and Fang’s joint heaven, Cheryl is a vile evil person, permanently left out in the cold as all the straights  and bis get straight married and leave her resentful gay ass behind.  Fangs says that in his version of heaven, Cheryl was a person who tried to sabotage her brother’s marriage to Polly, and also tried to sabotage Toni’s marriage to Fangs.  Cheryl advises Toni to search her “mother’s heart” for the truth, then leaves forthwith.

When Tabitha bursts in on Jughead’s heaven, the sound track plays the song Guardian Angel.  Yes OK, we get it.  

Jughead’s heaven has grown to include more people than when Sabrina visited earlier in the day.  He now has fawning fans, and I must say, rather adorably Jughead fawns right back at them. In particular he is given the proper fan freak out moment by a lanky kid who is obsessed with his works, sounds lonely, and says that not only did Jughead’s work get him through tough times, Jughead’s imaginary characters are really friends to him.  To this last part, Jughead says, Yeah, Me Too.

(Is this a wink wink nudge nudge commentary about the fact that Jughead is The Narrator?)

Jughead’s heaven does not have any meaningful intimate relationships, which is very interesting. Is Jughead’s heaven one where he’s asexual?  Or is it that he’s less controlling and prone to delusion as Archie - Jughead isn’t going to do anyone the injustice of inventing a false version of themselves to be his personal Barbie.  He wants to eventually spend eternity with Tabitha, but will wait for the real Tabitha instead of inventing one (unlike Archie and his Dream Betty).

Tabitha also finds Jughead’s joy in having someone give him positive feedback too adorable to interfere with, so she decides to let him enjoy himself.  Immediately after seating herself at the counter, she is greeted by the Angel Raphael from RiverVale, who wants to tell her some things.  We don’t get to hear what they are.

Meanwhile, Cheryl walks into someone’s heaven. It has Polly married to Jason, Nana Rose is still alive, and Dagwood is buddies with his father whom he’s never met in real life.  

Did Polly Cooper want to be married to Jason and be mistress of Thornhill (with the Parentdale generation of Blossoms long dead and forgotten?)?  

Is this Jason’s heaven? It can’t be, because Jason has nothing to say in this heaven either.   

Does Dagwood, as a minor, get to choose his heaven? If so, is Dagwood’s heaven one in which he is not a twin and is an only child to boot?  

And Nana Blossom - I’m not sure what Nana Blossom’s heaven would be (being courted by smarmy young men armed with red roses a la Reggie, perhaps) - but being the great grandma in this sort of setting hardly fits the Nana Rose we’ve seen to date.  

IF this is Jason’s heaven as well then he shares a weird code with Dagwood - because in this world, Cheryl does not live at Thornhill and is also an infrequent visitor, given the way Polly greets Cheryl (“Cheryl!  [big pause, then, hesitantly] We weren’t expecting you!”).  Why are all these het people so gross and refuse to appreciate Cheryl?

By the way, to the right of this cute /creepy family tableau, there is a decapitated baby doll’s head on a side table next to the blank easel in the living room.  Just FYI.

What Polly tells Cheryl makes me wonder if this isn’t somehow Cheryl’s heaven. The maple business is booming, trees are swollen with sap, and Polly is going to have a triplet of Blossoms, so now there will be 5 little Jason progeny running around.  Because Cheryl’s heaven is - now that I think of it - to get out of Thornhill but have it prosper and be allowed to visit whenever she wants.

But since Polly is the one doing all of the talking, the most reasonable conclusion is that this is Polly’s heaven. (Jason too, likely wanted to escape Thornhill, not be master of it.).  This makes me think very different thoughts about Polly than before. 

Polly the Dead invites Cheryl the Living into staying in Polly’s Heaven forever, but even though Cheryl is so pleased by this vision and what it gives her, she doesn’t fall for it.

Then we cut to Jughead the Possessed on a date with Sabrina the Asshole. I am going to assume that this is a post coitus meal. 

Sabrina confesses that her taking Jughead’s corpse specifically so she could fuck her dead boyfriend with it was absolutely a deliberate choice made out of pure opportunism, without a single care that this was wasting the time of people who counted on her to help them prevent The Apocalypse.  She even suggests that they abscond with Jughead’s corpse to live in a cabin somewhere. 

Was the intention of introducing this character supposed to result in my despising her?  Is she meant to be a villain?  But she’s not being treated like one in the text. 

Nick is an asshole just like his girlfriend so they only talk about their own interests.  She weeps about whatever situation they are in, and I have no idea what she’s talking about and I frankly don’t care because she’s a dick. I’m glad she doesn’t get what she wants. Who the fuck are you and why are you in my show?

Then Sabrina Spellman kisses Jughead Jones’ corpse on the mouth and I got my first taste of what it might be like to be a diehard Barchie or Bughead watching the other ship’s scenes. I HATE THIS! PUT IT AWAY.

Back at the casino, the Mantle men are having dinner.  Reggie gets his father’s absolute approval for the first time ever.   Then the worm turns and his father tells Reggie that he knows he’s dying.  Reggie, at this point, is completely willing to kill Kevin for his father.  

Reggie’s father says that even though he failed at business, marriage and fatherhood, he wants to die with honor. 

OK. Three things.   

One - I don’t know about the word choice of HONOR here because I just get the heebie jeebies when English language programming give Asian people any line that mentions the word HONOR.  (Nobody in contemporary Asia talks like this and in the East Asian self imagination of the past they also do not have people prattle on about HONOR. This is a white stereotype of Asian people all smooshed together and it’s always completely shit.  Yes, I am the authority on this. Accept it.)  

Two - That said, Jughead sneering at him during his early Serpent membership days that Reggie doesn’t know what “honor” is provoked Reggie into trying to punch Jughead in the face, so nice callback, I guess?

Third, Marty Mantle is selfish to the very last.  His personal desire to ‘die with honor’ is so unhelpful to Reggie, and doesn’t ameliorate any of the failures of his life or what he did to Reggie as a child.  He just wants this last vanity for himself.  I reject this redemption arc attempt for Marty Mantle.   Plus this is very gendered of me probably, but I much prefer that men stay alive and live long to do the dishes and change the diapers and wash the windows than ‘die with honor’ in some stupid glorious annihilation.  Please stay alive and scrub the toilet bowl.

 At the morgue, Sabrina and Nick say solemn farewells to each other while little birds come to watch. Sabrina sexually molests Jughead Jones’s corpse a second time before Nick Scratch eases back into the land of the dead. They play very obtrusive sad piano music over this but I’m repelled and confused.  Would it have been impossible to give us a very small short exposition dump about who the hell these people are and what is going on via Heather? 

The sourness of this scene is immediately washed away though by the very next scene.

Reggie, in his lonely big luxury bedroom that he stole from Veronica using the help of the devil (I love Riverdale) cries out, ‘What the hell am I supposed to do?’ about his father’s unknowing rejection of the plan to harvest Kevin’s heart for a transplant. He’s immediately answered by his own voice emanating from the Reggie Puppet.   Reggie’s conscience is much more intelligent than his normal self but the thing is, I am inclined to think that Reggie’s conscience refuses to cohabit with Reggie in his body.  Reggie’s conscience works via Puppet Zoom.  

Reggie’s distant relationship with his conscience is shown by his calling it “Bro.”    Riverdale is brilliant.

Reggie says that this is Percival testing him, and is advised by his own conscience that the best course of action is to skip town with the whole test - Kevin, his Dad, himself. 

Sabrina comes back to Thornhill, where again, nobody is asking about the Cheryl-with-A Fox’s-Head self portrait given absolute pride of place.  She asks, not very interested, on how they all made out with the highly dangerous mission to the Sweet Hereafter.  (The show also skimps out on telling us how they got back.  I wanted to see Charon bring them back.)   

Betty, the one who wasn’t Good (™) enough to even get to visit, is the one who loudly blares out that everyone failed.  This is very in character for Betty. She’s annoyed at everyone else’s failure.  Cheryl adds that ‘some’ of them were hostile (meaning Fangs, mostly).  

I want to punch Sabrina in her perfect pretty face for the way she smirks at Tabitha as she asks if Tabitha managed to “pull at Jughead’s heartstrings.”  Oh. My God. You bitch. I don’t know what happened to you on your show, but I’m glad your boyfriend is dead and you have Aunties who did whatever it was that made you cry. 

Tabitha says she just could not bring herself to ask Jughead to come back, to pull at those heartstrings.  Jabitha are fascinating - it’s sort of what happens when two too-good people, used to sacrifice and duty, get together.  Tabitha cannot bring herself to insist that her happy boyfriend come back to life, especially because she told him the truth about the overwhelming number of realities in which their mission fails and he dies.

Betty decides that everyone who doesn’t want to do what she needs them to do is crazy, and she’s backed up by Veronica who decides that the best thing to do in the face of resistance against what she thinks is right is to use brute force.

So, Sabrina, playing hide the ball TO THE LAST, finally reveals that Cheryl has the power of the phoenix and can summarily yank people back from the dead.  

Cheryl, going from reclining to gesticulating, is delightful. She asks what the hell the Power of the Phoenix is.  Even though Heather wasn’t allowed to give us the Sabrina-and-Nick exposition dump, she unhelpfully gives the useless definition of what a phoenix is. (Did Cheryl really not know?).  

This is coo-coo bananas. But I’m also kind of feeling it.

You said it Cheryl.

Heather finally lays out what the risks are:  Souls might return incomplete!  Infected with malignancy!  And will (she says MIGHT but actually it’s WILL)  resent you for the rest of their (un)natural lives!  (Just like Buffy did, when she revealed she’d been in heaven to her necromancer witch friend in the musical episode!)

 Betty seems to do a quick calculation of who has died, and she’s very indifferent to most of their potential resentment and further seems to trust that Archie probably won’t resent her. (Whatever Toni, Fangs, Dagwood and Jughead might feel about anything is of no interest to her whatsoever.)  Tabitha, the only one armed with real information about the potential futures, says that they really don’t have a lot of choice, because the worst is “yet to come.”

Cheryl is the best person in Riverdale. She really is. She’s told by Sabrina the Asshole that she has to burn all the corpses so that they may HOPEFULLY rise from the ashes. This thesis is untested then. AND she has to do it all alone, and given the hostile presence of people like Betty, take on all the blame if it fails.  But she steps up and says she’ll do it in the mines without hesitation.

Reggie’s escape plan does not quite work.  Reggie, Kevin and Marty are caught before they even gets to leave the building. Percival is not surprised, but is disappointed by Reginald.

Cheryl is not as good as Jughead’s corpse in reciting an incantation, but the spell works anyway.

To let the audience know that at minimum, Archie will not resent Betty and Toni will not resent Cheryl, we are briefly shown that Archie was willing to come back to “Fight the War” and Toni came to the realization that her reality in heaven was a fabrication.  Whoever constructed the Toni-Fangs heaven did a shitty job.  They didn’t bother making up any further photos for the photo album!  

As their corpses magically burn, the heaven-selves start to heat up.  Jughead is not given any chance to have a change of heart about coming back alive.  He’s going to be the only one yanked out of a perfect-for-him heaven in which he was perfectly happy to be resurrected in a reality in which he knows he is overwhelmingly likely to suffer a SECOND miserable death in his twenties.  

We get a Harry Potter fiery phoenix CGI effect to prove that the spell worked, after which we are shown Jughead, Dagwood, Nana Rose, Toni, Fangs and Archie walking out whole and hale from the blue flames.

Sabrina is walked out of Thornhill by Cheryl looking gorgeous in a red dress. What Sabrina does next puts the final nail in my I Hate Sabrina Spellman casket.   Sabrina tells Cheryl to “just be careful” which is a slap-buying offense for being fucking vaguefor something as serious as upsetting Death.  Sabrina didn’t give the warning for the potential risks for the spell caster before the spell was cast, and doesn’t give a proper explanation for what the risks are now that she’s taken the risk.  

Jughead is silent in his misery as he always is, and this time his pain is about being brought back to corporeal life on the mortal plane.  In very gentle, kind tones, Tabitha tearfully explains that he had to come back to the cold miserable reality of actual life in order to fight off the apocalypse. Then, because she’s Jughead-coded Tabitha says secondly that she wanted her boyfriend to not be dead because she loves him.   

It turns out Jughead can hear AND read thoughts. He says that this ‘cushions the blow.’  Which means it had REALLY been bothering him but he never spoke of the misery his hearing loss gave him.  

I’m worried that Jabitha are going to self-abnegate into oblivion.   And maybe this has to do with fitting into camera angles, but Tabitha is developing the same terrible hunched posture as Jughead.

At Thornhill, Heather asks  Cheryl how things really were in the Sweet Hereafter.  This suddenly made me a huge fan of Heather.  Heather understands that there is a public and private Cheryl, and also that access to the private Cheryl requires a soft touch, to be made in utmost confidence and discretion. 

Cheryl admits that she was pained to see her family happy without her, but that she took matters into her own hands.   Cheryl resurrected Polly, Jason and Dagwood!  As Heather looks very freaked out, Polly and Cheryl smile creepily at each other.   Polly came back wrong, right? Right?

Betty and Archie are cuddling, because Archie is given lead boy cushioning and went from being with Dream Betty to Actual Betty.  Betty is a smartie and laughs at the very dumb choices that Archie made in heaven to name their kids Polly and Fred.  The show is not as vicious to Archie as it is to Jughead, but it is unkind.  Archie is not very talented at music from the point of view of a teacher who doesn’t want to molest him and he didn’t have very good boxing skills from the point of view of a coach who knows the sport, and in his heaven he picked names for his dream children that his living actual girlfriend thinks are uncreative, because he’s just not smart.  

Tabitha checks in on Veronica.  Veronica is given not great news that she could be Endgame with Archie in the same percentage as Barchie being endgame.  Um.  Tabitha says as a conclusion that Veronica’s future is ‘up for grabs.’ Which could mean I dunno JERONICA endgame or VEGGIE endgame just as well but oh man.   

Why is Veronica not more upset about what has happened with the casino? 

In the vault of the casino Kevin Keller’s father has abandoned Kevin to be executed by Percival in the morning. I mean, the Mantles are in there too but wow that is COLD.  Reggie turns out to have a magic knife in his possession. He’s determined to kill Percival.

Tabitha is doing the rounds. She checks in on Toni and Fangs.  My general impression of that apartment is it being dank and dark, but with Tabitha there it’s revealed to be a bright yellow interior, with flowering hanging plants.  Is this the magic of Tabitha?  

Fangs, by the way, still has not touched Baby Anthony.  He and Toni are seated next to the crib staring at the baby, but he doesn’t touch him. At all. What gives??

Tabitha tells them that Baby Anthony is immortal.   Then she announces that she is Riverdale’s guardian angel.  She is lit like the Virgin Mary in Renaissance paintings as she says this.  

[joyce-stick]

What are some of your favorite anime series? And VNs?

Ace Attorney (most of them but the Investigations games in particular because they're both underrated)

Adachi and Shimamura (we made a video about this just the other day please look at it)

A Place Further than the Universe

Bad End Theater

Bloom Into You (manga more than anime)

Call of the Night (the anime, not yet got to the manga)

Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya

Demon Girl Next Door (manga mainly)

Doki Doki Literature Club (Plus more than the original)

Durarara (still need to finish the second series)

FLCL Pro & Alt

Fragtime (both anime and manga)

Heathers

Hidamari Sketch

Girls' Last Tour

Gunpoint

Gurren Lagann

Grim Fandango

Happy Sugar Life

Highway Blossoms

Jet Set Radio

Kaguya-sama

Kase-san and (anime OVA good, one day we'll read all of the manga)

Kindred Spirits on the Roof

Kizumonogatari

Lucky☆Star

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha

Magical Girl Site (anime not manga)

March Comes in Like a Lion

Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Milk inside a bag of milk inside a bag of milk

Milk outside a bag of milk outside a bag of milk

Monogatari

Neon Genesis Evangelion, specifically the rebuilds

Otherside Picnic (light novels, not anime, the anime is bad sorry)

Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt

Princess Principal

Promare

Psychonauts

Psychonauts 2

Puella Magi Madoka Magica (all but especially Rebellion)

Re:Creators

RWBY (yes, unironically, we're aware Rooster Teeth sucks and all but unironically no apologies for this one)

School-Live! (anime is great, need to finish the manga)

Shadows House

Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)

Sonic Adventure

Sonny Boy

Sound! Euphonium

Spider-Verse

Symphogear

Talentless Nana (mainly the manga, which we need to catch up on)

Toradora

Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi (A Monster Wants to Eat Me, we need to catch up on it)

Wonderful Everyday

Yurikuma Arashi

Yuru Camp

YuruYuri

Still going through the rest of Watamote but that's also great, someone told us to read Moonshine, we'll get to it, we've got Spark the Electric Jester, we'll get to it, a boatload of other yuri manga, we'll get to them, and other anime, like G-Witch, we'll get to it, got Omori, we'll get to it, got a lot of other stuff-

we'll get to it.