#prioritizing old characters without much/any recent art

[tiktaaliker]

so i decided to update some refs for artfight and i started with fane. so here's the original sundog in all his sparkledog glory

[sallytheseamstress]

HAPPIESTPLACEHQ TASK 11 - INTRO & CONNECTIONS

sally finkelstein ~ thirty-two ~ seamstress + salesclerk ~ she/her (cis woman, bisexual)

[ bio / muse / headcanons / pinterest / spotify ]

Character Information

Raised by her controlling father and accustomed to looking after him ever since she was just a child, only recently did Sally move out of her abusive home. This sudden freedom is as exciting as it is terrifying.

Immensely creative, though used to keeping it all to herself, Sally has been trying to get out of her own head for a bit, become more sociable and to make friends. So far, and to her surprise, this has been quite successful.

Working in the sidelines and backstage for Community Theater and as part of the Events Committee means she has developed a keen ear, a knack for passing undetected, and a certain thrill in ocassionally snooping around and harmlessly breaking a few rules. Having experience with sneaking out of her home for a taste of freedom while her father was asleep probably helped too.

She is used to sacrificing her own happiness and comfort for others: whether that is allowing others to have the spotlight, or to prioritize a good friendship over anything more intimate and risky, Sally will always make the choice that puts someone else first.

Sally has had her job at Jack’s Attic Holiday Store from age twenty-two, and has been hopelessly in love with Jack King for about a decade now. Her deep-set insecurities have led her to accept she might as well never be brave enough to confess her feelings, no matter how much she yearns for him to return them.

Wanted Connections

Friends: More than happy with the friends she currently has, nevertheless Sally can be willing to let a few more kindred souls into her heart. She’s especially curious about life in big cities outside of Redwood Hollow, so out-of-towners are particularly welcome to try their hand at approaching Sally and becoming her friend.

First-Times: This is the year Sally tries to live a little and give love a chance –or so she tells herself. Maybe your character is a stranger with whom Sally hits it off surprisingly well; maybe it’s an old friend who’s willing to help her out this once; regardless, this might be the person who can finally give Sally the push to let go of her infatuation and move on.

Thespians: Working at the Community Events Committee, especially making costumes and sets, means she has a good knowledge of the Redwood Hollow performing arts scene. Whether or not Sally can help your character with their networking dreams of stardom might be harder to say –but they can try!

Therapists: To even try to seek any help at all is a big enough first step for Sally. After years of staying in denial about her difficult relationship with her emotionally abusive father, she’s slowly accepting that, in order to fully let go of the pain she’s just coming out of, she might need a shoulder to cry on.

Plot Ideas

Familiar Face: Your character just happens to absolutely adore holiday decor, because honestly, who doesn’t? They’ve been coming to the store for years and with a surprising frequency, so Sally already sees them as a regular and knows them by face, but has never really had an actual conversation with them... Until now.

Hello Neighbour: Moving out of her childhood home and into a new apartment closer to her workplace means brand new people to introduce herself to. Your character might pass by and ask for some powertool or baking supply Sally happens to have in stock, knock on her door to beg for her to keep the showtunes down a notch, or simply pass by to present themselves

Sneaking Past The Graveyard: No matter how much of an indoors creature the Small-Town Goth is, they must always spend some time every week to wander through a cemetery. Sally in particular feels at home there, chatting with the local gardener and taking flowers to the tombs of those without any families to mourn them anymore. And, of course, more than once she has watched a mourner in secret from a distance: perhaps this time she wasn’t discrete enough.

Sandbox Love Never Dies: Sally has never been particularly friendly; however, there might have been someone in her early childhood, a classmate she used to rely on, a bosom friend with whom, for some reason, they have drifted apart –and only now, with Sally participating more of the social scene of Redwood Hollow, the scars of that old falling out are out back in the open. It could have been due to anything, from a broken toy to a deep personal betrayal. Regardless, Sally must face the matter head-on, and learn a little lesson in forgiveness.

Custom Works: Who would have thought word of mouth could be so effective? Someone who has seen Sally’s Halloween costumes and her ocassional designs for her friends decides to hire her for some custom outfits. Professionalism be damned, Sally will not betray her creative vision!

Taken Connections

Friends: @sweetellafontaine​, @mxmorganmorph, @ollie-olliebaby

Enemies (?): @ozborror-highroller

Other

I would love for Jack King to make an appearance in the RP, if anything else to resolve the feelings Sally has had for so long with a definitive answer at last.

[cyndavilachase]

Marcanne happening in season 3 could be a good thing for the characters and the shows’ themes as a whole

I don’t usually post my theories here on tumblr these days as traction has died a lot, so they all end up on twitter. But since tumblr is essentially just my art archive I thought I’d give a recent one of mine a go from a couple days ago, regarding marcanne:

The entire time that I've watched Amphibia and shipped marcanne it was mostly for fun- not that I thought it impossible, but I never expected it to happen. However, with recent trailers, promos, and interviews released, I really do think marcanne is now a high possibility.

I will be using Shera as reference-- particularly Save the Cat, and Glimmer & Bows relationship development, but you don’t need to have watched Shera.

We still don't know for sure at this point if Anne and/or Sasha is going to rescue Marcy, or if Olivia & Yunan will, but either way, it’s highly likely it'll happen by or on the mid season finale- in order to give enough time for the characters to make amends and heal in season 3b.

In order to give the audience a satisfactory conclusion to the characters’ developments, Anne and Marcy need a lot of time to talk, for Anne to forgive her, and for them to go through the healing process for the rest of season 3b. When we compare Anne & Marcy to Glimmer & Bow, as well as remember the pace of Anne forgiving Hop Pop, this will take a number of episodes. We can get a glimpse of how this will play out.

Marcy fucked up. Anne is and will continue to be hurt, and it'll take a lot of time (way more time than with Hop Pop) for them to make proper repairs even if Marcy says sorry again and explains her reasoning. Things will be awkward and their dynamic will have changed entirely.

However, there is this added layer of childhood best friends, Anne being protective of Marcy, as well as Marcy being stabbed and now, possessed, like Catra was. They're gonna want to go back to the way things were, but things have changed.

At this point in Shera, even after Bow and Glimmer reconciled, things were different and despite them healing and going back to being close and touchy-feely, they obviously had to overcome this huge hurdle. They managed to do that which strengthened their relationship and made them closer than ever. After that, it became evident that they were in love with each other since they were both willing to put the work into getting through a really rough spot. 

With that in mind, it wouldn’t feel unnatural for Anne & Marcy to go through the same thing, as there has been a lot of romantic subtext a la Anne blushing at Marcy in New Wartwood, and the fact that they are the most physically affectionate out of everyone in the show. It can be read platonic, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t romantic. We don’t know that yet.

Some extra treats for y’all shippers out there:

-Some of the crew has liked a pretty decent amount of lowkey marcanne and sashanne fanart, but mostly leaning into marcanne.

-Matt and crew have explicitly avoided answering any questions about the girls’ sexualities or if their feelings will ever be romantic. When you think about it, not confirming this is odd since Matt and crew are incredibly active in fandom, taking feedback and applying that to the show. Many members of the team are also queer so it would be odd to continue letting fans feel as though they're being queerbaited (not saying Marcy and Anne are queerbait, just that it would make sense to say whether or not they are early on since it's so popular).

-Back in last year's Reddit AMA Matt stated that the show is "an ode to old friendships." Old friendships can in fact turn into something else!

-It recently came out in an interview that Disney aged the girls down to 13 years old; they were originally going to be 15. While they were “aged down” absolutely nothing about their characters, interests, and personalities have been changed from the original writing. So despite the studio saying they’re 13, they’re basically high schoolers. This means dating isn’t partially out of the question, since tween dating can be a weird topic.

-The best one: Matt said in another interview that he knows that fans are hoping for certain things to happen, and without stating what will happen, he did say “it do happen."

As for why this development would be good for the characters and the show as whole- I know a lot of people don't like the idea of romance being thrown into the show, but Amphibia is about the girls’ growth & dealing with change.

Sasha in particular has issues with feeling left out & being in control, and Marcy and Anne getting together could only boost that insecurity as now they would have a new, personal dynamic without her involved. We know she’s going to be hanging out in Wartwood for a while. She will likely be redeemed a la interactions with the Wartwoodians. If Marcy and Anne get together and she’s actually totally cool with a dramatic change like this, it would be a fantastic development for her and a great representation of that idea.

Now, I always leaned into Marcy moving away to show that she has accepted change and getting over her fear of abandonment. However, with Marcy being stabbed and now possessed, it seems rather cruel to take her away from her friends. From her personality alone, we can assume that Anne and Sasha are her only friends and she may struggle a lot with making true friends at school because she’s so high energy. By the end of the show, the three of them will have gone through way too much to be separated in my opinion. 

I really think Marcy going through her dynamic with her friends changing because of her mistake will be enough of a lesson for her. 

If she does move, her and Anne could still do long distance.

Even BETTER is the fact that the show can totally show that romantic relationships and platonic relationships are equal. Third wheels are common but they're also garbage. I couldn’t ever see Anne and Marcy prioritizing themselves over Sasha if they decide to stay friends with her. Sasha is likely going to still be important to the both of them if they decide to stay friends after her redemption. This would be really different from the usual trio of a cartoon having the main character and his girl best friend slammed together at the very end, and entirely positive. It isn’t uncommon for two in a trio of friends to start dating in real life and remain stable as long as the work is put in! I know from personal experience.

Overall, there’s many possibilities for where the writers are headed with these characters. Romance or not, I’m really excited to see what they do.

[whitehotharlots]

Dr. Seuss, cruel power, and our terrifying future

If you’ve been online in the last few days, you’ve no doubt been informed that the company that controls the work of Dr. Seuss is putting six of his lesser books out of print and pulling them from shops. Today, it was reported that they are partnering with major online retailers to prevent these platforms from selling even used copies of the books. And this was all in response to a predictably shitty academic article that counted the number of characters in Seuss books and found--gasp--that most of them were white, that the non-white characters who are present are still offensive, and also that there was secret racial coding in works such as Horton Hears a Who, which are racist in spite of not featuring any human characters. 

Now, one might wonder how a children’s illustrator could have represented racial diversity in simple line drawings without including symbols that could, when taken intentionally out of context several decades later, avoid being considered offensive. If you’re asking that question, you don’t know how these things work. Despite the patina of scientism, “scholarly” pieces such as this always start from the assumption of offensiveness. Their authors know any accusations will stick, no matter how absurd, self-contradictory, or even non-existent they may be. All you got to do is toss in some numbers to make it look real official-like, then it becomes objective proof.

This is all a con, and everyone knows it. 

John Dolan had a great observation on an episode of the War Nerd podcast over the summer, back when everyone was tearing down statues. Paraphrasing, he said that people who do stuff like this realize that they're not actually accomplishing anything. That's not the intention. The reason you deface monuments is to demonstrate to everyone that you can.

Dr. Seuss is a ripe target for today's mob because no one seriously believes that his work is harmful. There are literally thousands of children's books, old and new, that you could plausibly claim are more offensive. They're doing this because it's so unintuitive and alienating. The fact that this seems--and is--so unnecessary and absurd makes it a much more profound statement of cultural dominance. Amazon and Ebay must take social justice very seriously if they’re willing to do something so unnecessary!

But, ahh, I'm sure the pedants are itching to point out that ACTUALLY it's not censorship. No sir. It's just a corporate trust banning several works of culturally important children's literature in response to an obscure academic article and then working with retail platforms to ban the private re-sale of the book. That's totally not censorship, because, umm, the government didn't do it directly. That's a super smart point and you should pat yourself on the back for making it. Everyone is very impressed.

That this ban did not come from a formal government dictate does not obscure the fact that it’s part of a broad cultural-political project that’s embedded within the Democratic party. The internet’s army of Democrat scolds were uniform and effusive in their praise of it. Republicans were equally uniform in their denunciation. If you’re a Democrat, this is your brand. In the minds of the average voter, this is what you stand for. And, since you’re unlikely to accomplish anything else beyond this, that’s not an unfair appraisal of you and your beliefs. 

Semantics aside, the precedent here is terrifying. The petty cruelty is astounding. This is the start of a broader and significantly more dangerous phase of wokeness.

If you're reading this blog, you are no doubt aware that claims of offensiveness are arbitrary. Any person can, conceivably, take offense at any work of art. This isn't necessarily a mean or selfish reaction--sometimes something rubs you the wrong way. But a foundational tenet of liberalism was, until very recently, the realization that just because you yourself don't like something, that does not give you the right to completely dismiss it. It especially does not give you the moral clearance to deny others access to it. 

Instead of seeking to universalize personal taste, there used to exist formal and semi-formal mechanisms for adjudicating the artistic merit of potentially offensive pieces, and then establishing a consensus in regards to their worthiness and people's potential access to them. These systems were imperfect and reflected the prejudices of their times, as all systems of apperception are bound be. But instead of seeking to adjust them, replace them with systems that are more inclusive and humanistic, we've decided to junk them entirely in favor of a full and proud embrace of narcissistic standpoint valuation. 

The old systems always took into account the age, context, intention, and critical reception of older works. The new system regards these very criteria as malignant. Now, all you need is for one piece of criticism to gain traction, and that's it, there's no pushing back against it--it's not a consensus but a declaration, and you either agree with it or you're in favor of erasing identities and making vulnerable people feel unsafe. The criticized works are now evil. The handful of companies that control our access to media now face a heavy monetary and social incentive to get rid of them. 

The censorship isn't going to stop, and they're starting to prioritize banning works not according to how "harmful" they may be but by how much the act of banning them will upset and sadden people. I'm sure, by pure coincidence, works that commit the crime of fostering class consciousness will be high up on the list--Steinbeck's about to finally get his comeuppance. And, of course, the political reaction to this is going to be historic.

Covid vaccines are rolling out and stimulus is not coming. The meager checks on our everyday cruelty--eviction and foreclosure bans, debt relief, elevated unemployment insurance--are all about to get yanked away, replaced with nothing. The jobs aren't coming back, and many of those that remain will soon turn into gig work. Millions of people will be forced out of their homes. Millions will lose healthcare. And the very best our ruling party has been able to do in response is ban Dr. Seuss and get Aunt Jemima removed from the box of pancake mix. God help us all come 2024.

[baphomet-media]

Getting Psyched - A The World Ends With You Retro Review

Genre: Adventure Subgenre: JRPG Developer: Square Enix, Jupiter Publisher: Square Enix Platform(s): DS Release Date: July 27th, 2007 Hours Played: 42 hours this playthrough

You’ve almost certainly heard of this game, especially if you’re into JRPGs. When a game advertises itself as being “from the team that made Kingdom Hearts,” I was sold instantly as a kid. One look at the game’s box art confirms that Tetsuya Nomura had a hand at this game with his distinctive bold art style. But the game itself was something that nobody at the time had predicted. The game has an urban fantasy story unlike much that had been told at the time. Furthermore, the game was made to push the DS to its limits and create a battle system that could only work on the DS’s two screens. Does this cult classic live up to the hype, or is it just a janky mess? Let’s find out.

Story

TWEWY opens by introducing our protagonist, an antisocial teen named Neku Sakuraba. Neku unexpectedly awakens in the iconic scramble crossing of Shibuya, Tokyo. To his surprise, the crowds seem to walk right through him, and a strange pin appears in his hand that allows him to read the thoughts of passersby. Neku quickly learns that he has been thrust into the Reapers’ Game, a seven-day death game where the Players are the recently deceased that must partner up to fight the Noise, hostile part-animal-part-tribal-graffiti creatures that seek to erase the Players. What’s more, each day Players must complete missions given to them by the Reapers within strict time limits while avoiding the reapers themselves. If they can make it to the end of the week, they might just be able to return to life.

Along the way, Neku will meet a chaotic cast of characters including Shiki, the headstrong seamstress who is eventually able to get Neku out of his angsty shell, Beat and Rhyme, a pair of street-smart siblings with heavy 2000’s skater vibes, Joshua, an abrasive, sarcastic, literal Christ figure who’s somehow a good guy? Or maybe he’s a bad guy? Or… maybe he’s a good guy again? On top of that, the Reapers themselves vary wildly from the contrasting duo of the laid-back Kariya and the high-strung Uzuki to the lone radical Minamimoto. The game does a good job of having a full roster of characters without overloading the player. Furthermore, while most characters seem wacky at first, they all have motivations and layers behind them that become clearer as you progress through the story.

Without spoiling anything, nothing is as it seems in the Reaper’s game, and multiple parties are vying for control for different reasons, meaning the whole thing feels like one big political intrigue story on top of an urban JRPG. Even on my most recent replay after having played the game countless times over the years, I was hungry to put the pieces together. While the main storyline mostly follows Neku’s perspective and doesn’t explain a lot of the behind-the-scenes interactions and motivations of the secondary characters, the game fortunately has a Secret Reports feature, which are written by a certain character who seems to know way more than they let on. These Secret Reports are near essential to understanding the game’s true story, and reveal whole layers to the plot and world that the main story doesn’t even touch on.

Needless to say, I loved the story of TWEWY. Everything feels perfectly crafted, leaving no loose ends, while still leaving the player wanting more. If anything I wanted to see more of Neku and his friends after the game’s conclusion just hanging out in real life.

Gameplay

TWEWY is a JRPG, but in the loosest sense possible. In the overworld, the player controls Neku, guiding him around the various streets of Shibuya on the touch screen or with the face buttons. Unlike in traditional RPGs, outside of story events the player must deliberately initiate combat with the Noise. By scanning their environment they can read the surface thoughts of passersby, but also reveal noise symbols in the environment. By tapping on these symbols, the player can queue up battles with the noise, and can even chain multiple battles together for back-to-back fights that multiply your drop rate.

In battle, Neku and his partner are sent to separate Zones, with Neku on the touch screen and his partner on the top screen. Neku fights the noise by activating the abilities of pins he has equipped, called Psychs. Each psych has its own activation method, from swiping on an enemy to tapping empty space, to scratching on the screen, to shouting into the microphone, and more. It’s up to the player to equip Neku with the best pins, though pins level up as they are used, becoming more powerful and sometimes evolving into even stronger pins.

On the top screen, Neku’s partner fights the noise by using the DS’s face buttons to move through a combo map and select certain finishers. By selecting the right finishers, you can charge your Sync gauge to perform a powerful special attack. Both characters share an HP gauge, damage to each character subtracting from each side. If you’re following along, that means the game expects you to control both Neku and his partner at the same time. This can be tricky for new players, but you quickly get used to it. Additionally, you can have your partner auto-fight with a customizable delay, meaning you technically don’t have to control your partner at all. However, if you really want to deal major damage and wipe the floor with the Noise on higher difficulties, you’ll want to master battling with both characters at once. When I first played the game in 2007, I found the parner battling to be too difficult to keep up with, but now that I’m older and more experienced, I find the combat to be incredibly deep and rewarding. Additionally, the game rewards back-and-forth control of Neku and his partner with the Light Puck mechanic. Essentially, when one character performs a combo finisher, the light puck is passed to the other character, and passed back when that character does a finisher. In this way, you can build up a damage multiplier based on how quickly you rally the light puck. This creates a natural back-and-forth flow of using Neku until his psychs discharge, then getting a few hits in with his partner, and so on.

My only complaint about battles is that in later fights on higher difficulty the Noise will attack so frequently on the partner’s zone that it’s difficult to get attacks off with them at all. Your partner has a limited block/dodge, but it only does so much and there’s often tons of Noise attacking at once. It’s not insurmountable, but it can be frustrating at times.

Outside of battle, the player must constantly keep up with a few things, food, swag, and difficulty. Both Neku and his partner can eat food and wear clothing purchased from many shops around Shibuya. Food offers an up-front bonus as well as a permanent stat increase once the food is digested by completing battles. However, you can only digest so many times per real-time day, meaning you have to prioritize high-calorie foods before smaller snacks. I found the digestion limit to be a bit too limiting. It can be removed in the post-game, but it still makes food hard to deal with for someone that is effectively bingeing the game.

Swag are articles of clothing that offer flat stat increases, but also have abilities that are unlocked by showing it to the right store clerk. Each clerk can unlock the abilities of specific clothing, and you can unlock more by buying enough stuff from them to fill up their Friendship Gauge. I thought it was fun to slowly make friends with each store clerk, and I felt bad that I couldn’t hang out with them or reciprocate some of their obvious advances, though I’m sure it’s assumed that Neku cherishes his friendships with them after the game’s conclusion. However, you can’t just equip any old piece of clothing to any character. Neku can’t just pull off a dress and cargo shorts right off the bat. Each piece of clothing has a Bravery rating, with characters whose bravery is below that rating being unable to wear the clothing. Fortunately, bravery increases as you level up, and can also be increased by eating food. By the end of the game, you’ll be able to have Neku and company wearing whatever clothing you want.

Lastly there’s Difficulty. The game has four main difficulty levels, being Easy, Normal, Hard, and Ultimate. You begin the game in Normal, but once you unlock a difficulty, you can change it on the fly from the pause menu. On easier difficulty enemies have less HP and deal less damage, but you get fewer XP and worse pins. The reverse is true on higher difficulties, with some of the best pins in the game being available exclusively as drops on Ultimate difficulty. To aid you in this, you can also change your level at any time. Unlike in a standard RPG where your level is immutable to the player aside from leveling up, in TWEWY you can freely choose your level from one to the highest level you have achieved. For each level below your max that you set your level, you get a multiplier for drops. This can be combined with the battle chaining multiplier to get ultra rare drops, some of which have less than 1% and even less than 0.1% drop chances normally. This gives the player an incentive to level up aside from just stat bonuses, and rewards players who go out of their way to engage in battles. As above, battles are largely optional, but it heavily behooves the player to battle as much as they can, not only because you get drops and experience, but increasing your level gives you more wiggle room for harder fights such as bosses.

There are tons more smaller features, but these are the main ones. I thoroughly enjoyed the vast depths of the game’s mechanics and found the difficulty settings to be really engaging and a novel approach to RPG player advancement while still affording accessibility. I was enthralled for multiple hours as I struggled to get the best gear, feed my team the best food, and equip the best pins to get as strong as possible. Until the very end of the postgame, it never felt like mindless grinding, as you can just breeze through the story on Easy if you really want to, but where would be the fun in that?

Presentation

TWEWY is probably best known for its vibrant and bold incredibly urban street-art-themed style, which shows in not only the art, but the UI, music, and writing. The character art is that hard-outlined and overdressed Nomura art style that fans of Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts have come to love, and the backgrounds are all vibrant and stylized to fit. The pixel art of the character sprites and Noise are all incredibly expressive, with Neku’s idle animation as he jams out to tunes on his headphones being one of my favorites.

The game’s music is unabashedly lyrical, covering a vast array of genres including JPop, Punk, and Hip-Hop, with many different styles of each. I loved almost every song in the game, though I found one of the overworld themes to be a bit grating at times. Other than that, the music is pretty great, and what’s even better is you can buy CDs of each of the game’s songs in the game to have your own personal sound test right from the menu, even going as far as to allow you to set the background music on the menu itself.

The game even has voice acting, though it’s limited mostly to battle quips and wordless expressions for cutscenes. I actually really enjoyed the voice acting and thought they nailed each character. I was honestly surprised at the audio quality the developers were able to pack into this game. The music was a very slight bit tinny through the DS’s audio chip as is to be expected, but barring that the vocals and voice overs were super clear and the instrumentation of the songs were well mixed.

Overall, the game’s presentation is about as good as it gets on the DS, giving even home console games a huge run for their money.

Conclusion

Honestly it’s hard to say anything bad at all about TWEWY. The game was a bit hard to approach at the time, but it’s aged magnificently. These days, I wouldn’t hesitate to say that it’s the best (at least non-Pokémon) game on the DS. Honestly though some might be turned off by the game’s quirks, I think TWEWY is a masterpiece that everyone with a DS should pick up and play. I can’t wait to see how the newly-released sequel stands up, but honestly the original is a tough act to follow.

Score: 10 / 10

[chiagappy]

*shrugs* age swap// Cop Josuke and Student Rohan (when he debuted).

Imagine Josuke being a failure of a police officer, being too hot-headed and impulsive to wanting to catch criminals that he gets suspended for a few days after letting a local thief escape. This was the second time it happened and he feared that if he kept this streak going his rank might be lowered to work at a police box, not freedom, no fun just helping old ladies and folks with directions. Then his grandfather tells him he was given one more chance to work at the precinct if he finished this next job successfully: to be an undercover cop for an awards ceremony down at the opera theater. With Josuke's quick response and keen eyesight, he'll be able to spot out any trouble if it ever arises. Hopefully he'll be able to redeem himself after the latest screwup.

So Josuke takes on the job, and there he was waiting near the entrance of the opera theater nonchalantly as he pretends to be a pedestrian looking over his phone through his dark shades and casual wear with a leather jacket, his pins neatly in place as he observes the guests as they entered. He couldn't understand why anyone would cause trouble here but still he prioritize their safety and kept an eye out for the emergency exits. The evening was gone through without much disturbances, so decided to go on break early when the next officer arrived to relieve him.

He'd figure he can probably smoke a cigarette by the the stairs or something, maybe call Okuyasu about he bored he was if he wasn't working over at Tonio's, until something caught his attention not so far from him. He notices a young man being harassed by a couple thugs. Even if he was off-duty then, he knew it would have been wrong to leave after watching them so he decides intervene. Unsurprisingly the thugs were trying to extort money from him, claiming how their 'friend' owes them an amount but the younger man doesn't speak against it. Upon closer inspection, this young man looked like a student, wearing a school uniform and carrying a camera and sketchpad. There was no way this kid would have anything to do with them.

So he basically blew his cover protecting this kid, but not completely unscathed, as a dark bruised swelled up in his face and recieves minor lacerations to his arms trying to defend himself against a pocket knife one of the thugs had. Before Josuke was able to question him, he catches a glimpse of them disappearing up the stairs and into the opera house. He must have been in a hurry because Josuke notices he dropped a photograph on the ground. Josuke inspects it and sees a scene where the kid is offering a small smile away from the camera while a girl with pink hair was holding said camera, an infectious kind of smile bloomed on her face as she leaned against him. He flips the photo over and reads the words 'For Ro-chan, see I told you I can get you to smile :p." It was endearing, you can definitely tell that they had been awfully close friends for photos, yet he couldn't place his finger on it - she looked awfully familiar. He quickly brushes it off.

He'd figure he should return the photo to the kid, so he makes his way back to the opera house until he hears a horrifying scream with the cacophony of panic following shortly. He headed in immediately only to see the pink haired girl in the photo taken hostage on the stage by a lanky man threatening to blow her brains out if they didn't hand over the money from the award. The officers on duty had their guns pointed at the two, it was a stalemate as he sees the head officer overseeing this event trying to defuse the situation. In the middle of the chaos, Josuke manages to sneak closer to the stage prepared to use his gun out of his jacket to shoot the man down but someone beats him to it, and he notices the student running across the stage and struggling against the lunatic over the gun. Without thinking, Josuke quickly ran into the stage too, trying to help the student until the man's gun went off.

It all happened so fast as the cop sees the girl shielding the student, her back and dress soaked with blood while the man was sitting on the floor, shakened by the turn of events that he loses his grip on the gun. She whispers something in Rohan's ear before she died as the officers rushed to seperate them. The rest of the night becomes a blur with him arresting the criminal, investigations and evacuations proceeding, but the only thing that was on his mind was the student. He was the only lead they had on this case, yet he felt sorry for him. Apparently the winner of this award ceremony was going to a Reimi Sugimoto, age 17 for her extraordinary talent in opera singing and was going to win a check of ten grand along with a golden trophy. What was supposed to be a crowning achievement turned into a night of terror for not only the teenage girl but also for her friend who tried to save her. His name was Rohan Kishibe, a student in ---------- high school, the same age as Reimi.

Josuke hadn't seen him since the opera house, until he returned to the precinct, his grandfather asking him various questions regarding Reimi's death in one of the vacant interrogation rooms. He refused to answer them all, so Ryohei offered to give him some space before leaving the room. He asks Josuke to handle him since he'd probably relate more to someone his age ("Is 20 still being young?" "Maybe not but you sure act a brat like it sometimes so try to get him to talk. And make sure you take him something to drink!")

Confronting the teen was the last thing Josuke wanted to do, especially after what he went through (how can I relate to someone who had their friend die in their arms?) but he also knew that if he can get Rohan to talk then this will bring them one step closer to finding the other criminals who were involved. He had a hunch that the criminal hadn't planned this alone given the background check for robbery and use of illicit drugs, he seemed inexperienced to this and judging how easily he managed to slip pass the security meant he had to have accomplices. As far as suspects went, the ones involved would had been those present at the opera house that evening. It could have been anyone. He also felt there was more to this crime, especially after witnessing how Rohan's expression changed the moment Reimi whispered in his ear. Was her death predetermined? He wanted to get to the bottom of it.

He kept all this in mind, as he casually walks inside and takes the seat across to Rohan who was looking down at his hands, his anger evident yet he remained silent. Josuke asked if he wanted some water and Rohan quickly recognized that he was the officer who saved him earlier that evening. He takes the drink. He never got to thank him for it since he was in a rush to attend the award ceremony, and wouldn't plan on doing so given how the cop couldn't stop the criminal from taking Reimi away. So he was also given the silence treatment for while before Josuke returns the photo he found. That was when Rohan had spoken up about his relation to Reimi. He discovered that Rohan had in fact attended the same school as Reimi had and they were both enlisted in the same creative and performing arts program, however to attend these activities you had to have more than just talent, you needed money and connections to which they both lacked in some part. Fortunately enough, for Rohan he had his parent's support as they noticed his potential, however Reimi wasn't so fortunate. With a broken household struggling with finances, she had to juggle school and her activities with her late night job at some exclusive club downtown. She assured to him it was safe and it guaranteed large amounts of money fast- she said it was a better pay then babysitting and could help her pay for the program. So Rohan thought it was okay, but what he hadn't known was that she was fighting off a debt in addition to this that her father owed recently and had gotten involved with suspicious characters. She only ever mentioned such details vaguely but would alway carry a happy demeanor everyday not to worry her friend. Rohan never suspected of the pressure she was under and had told Rohan to "search for the black box in my school locker. You'll be able to find the one who are responsible for this," before passing away in his arms. He knew something was wrong, and he wanted to answers too.

By the time Rohan was finished telling his story, his hands were shaking with anger, mostly in lament and disappointment with himself that he couldn't protect her when she needed him, as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. Josuke reached out his hand over Rohan's reassuringly, giving it a squeeze and tells him that they will do everything in their power to bring these criminal to justice, but of course Rohan wouldn't give in that easily and joins the investigation.

(So I would like to think of teen Rohan being one cheeky bastard who seems distant and cold at first but very intelligent and will not hesitate to do or say what is on his mind in the face of danger like Josuke, but he's still quite vulnerable to losing close attachments such as Reimi. Josuke calls him a "weirdo kid" or "Ro-chan" to rile him up but he means it as a joke, while Rohan calls him "old man" or "punk officer"

As for Josuke, he's still the same caring person that jumps into action when it calls for it, really popular and truthworthy with everyone but can be playful and clever when he wants to be. He doesn't think things through sometimes and relies on sheer gut feelings and instincts when it comes down to tough choices. He would often voice out his worries over Rohan at the start trying to take the "responsible adult" approach but the more time he spends with him he realizes that he's way more mature than any teenagers he dealt with and lets him lead the investigation. He deserved the right to avenge his best friend afterall, and knew more about her than most people claimed.

And after they handle the Reimi case, Rohan was offered an internship at the police station with Josuke as his mentor. They have a rough start at first but eventually Rohan warms up to the cop and learns to trust him as they continued to solve more cases. Also Josuke is the one of the first people to push Rohan into writing Pink Dark Boy after looking through his sketchbook when it was left on Josuke's desk one day. I feel like it would be similar to Nanase in TSKR with Rohan lacking some confidence in his work and Josuke just overall praising his art skills and telling him to have a passion is a gift and gives his own story of why he became a cop. Naturally Rohan is embarrassed and defensive about at first but overall felt grateful to have met Josuke. And eventually their relationship changes into something more than just detective partners.

// This is random but think Rohan would freak out internally when he sees Josuke with five o' clock shadow, he would have pulled all nighters for several days beforehand and Rohan finds him snoozing on his desk and gets the urge to draw him with his facial hair.)

[theritualofourexistence]

Odes to Old Gods

I started this year intending to journal about things I survive. Then at the end of the year, I could look back on my challenges and think about them in a more positive way--wow, look at what I overcame! The plan was to document everything, both good and bad, so that I could think about them more as experiences and lessons learned than as... good and bad. 

Needless to say, I stopped keeping track of those things in April. 

Earlier this month, I pulled out the journal again to update the list. I ended up quitting on that too. 

I do think, though, that in a less chaotic year, thinking about my life this way would be good practice. So, here I am, sharing my list with you in the form of an end-of-year, wrap-up blog post. 

A few quick caveats: 

This year was hard for literally everyone except maybe Jeff Bezos. 

It is not healthy to compare challenges or struggles or suffering.

I am not sharing this because I am looking for sympathy... I believe that being vulnerable is a very important part of the human experience but we can all also use a reminder that we never really know all of what anyone is experiencing. We shouldn’t need that reminder to treat others with love... but the older I get, the more I think those reminders might be necessary.

Things I have survived in 2020:

- A bit of a stalking experience in January which has since been resolved.

- Losing my job, hunting for a new job, securing a new job, training for the new job.

- My first Harry Potter tattoo for my ten-year tattooiversary.

- The fires in Australia.

- An absolutely wonderful trip to NYC with my dad when I got to see both Beetlejuice and Hadestown and have an enormous strawberry cheesecake milkshake from Junior’s. 

- Losing Kobe Bryant.

- Parasite absolutely CRUSHING the Oscars.

- Having a really, really good visit with my grandparents in March before all hell broke loose. 

- Weinstein being convicted and sentenced.

[Everything after this point happened during a global pandemic.]

- Losing Grandmom. I was unable to attend her funeral and still have not had the chance to grieve this loss with my extended family. 

- Losing my health insurance.

- A Zoom party for my Grammy’s 80th birthday.

- Losing Breonna Taylor. And George Floyd. And so, so many others. This is the first year I have really committed to understanding the current race-related issues this country faces and BOY, do we have work to do.

- The stress but success of orchestrating a safe family trip so that I didn’t have to go an entire year without seeing my brother.

- Losing my shifts at my primary job due to virus-related concerns.

- Countless other family happy birthdays over Zoom.

- My 60-year-old mother returning to work face-to-face with a student population that largely ignores all virus-related guidelines despite her working tirelessly for months this spring to offer UHS providers an adequate work-from-home option. 

- Being diagnosed with hypertension.

- A nightmarish friend trip. Despite our best laid plans for a safe and healthy visit, Mother Earth decided to trap me 90 miles north of my best friends for 4 days. I eventually got to see them for about 12 hours and honestly, it was worth it. That is the only time I’ve gotten with them all year.

- Losing Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

- The selection of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court.

- Our sweet girl Clio being diagnosed with a seizure disorder and then coming down with a life-threatening upper respiratory infection. 

- Learning that my grandmother would be voting for Trump in the 2020 election.

- The actual election.

- Losing Rooster, my sweet, sweet boy.

- Learning that my uncle has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer.

- Missing Thanksgiving with my extended family.

- Getting really excellent holiday gifts for my favorite people.

- Missing Christmas with my extended family.

- Safely spending some holiday time with my immediate family.

That is FAR from everything. But I don’t have the energy? Capacity? Time? to sort through everything.

Here are the things from this year that I am still currently surviving:

- A global pandemic! And all the associated chaos. With my asthma and high blood pressure and obesity, I am considered high risk and am still not able to safely return to my primary job. 

- Hypertension! More on this later.

- Grieving Rooster. In the days after we said goodbye, I wrote a memorial that I will eventually share here. Psychology has recently analyzed data suggesting that losing a pet can be equivalent to losing a relative... I have never felt grief like this. It’s been over a month. I cry every night. 

- Managing Clio’s health. She is still adjusting to her seizure medication, which she gets twice a day, and is still on medication to help with lasting symptoms of the respiratory infection. She is fussy about food and her weight fluctuates a lot week to week. She is also a feral rescue who has only ever been handled by me, my mom, and our vet. If mom and I are ever going to vacation together again, we will need to find someone who can manage catching and pilling her twice a day... no easy feat. Fortunately, at the moment, vacations aren’t really a thing for either my mom or I and I am working hard to approach these concerns in a cross-that-bridge-when-we-come-to-it way.

----

This year has been overwhelming. The last two months alone have been overwhelming. And they would’ve been overwhelming without the added spice of a global pandemic. The number of Americans we have lost to this virus has doubled since I last posted here in mid-August. Some time this week we are likely to reach a point where we’re losing 4,000 Americans per day. PER. DAY. This year has been overwhelming.

----

There were some good things this year, of course. I am so, so thankful for all the time I got with my immediate family and the very brief but vital time I got with my friends. Fortunately I am only ever a text away from my closest friends and we are able to message pretty much every day. I am also extremely glad to have found a place in the fantasy enamel pin community. The family I’ve found in pin-land has carried me through some of my lowest points this year. I spent more time in view of the ocean than I typically do in a given year... even though much of that time was still riddled with anxiety. I did art this year. I read books this year. Some really important ones, in fact. If you read nothing else in 2021, read The New Jim Crow. I also got tattooed! I’m going to include those here because I think the significance of each reflects something interesting and important about all I have survived and am surviving this year.

----

In January, I got my first Harry Potter tattoo! My favorite quote from the entire series is delivered by Hagrid during the Triwizard tournament:

”What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.” 

I got that incorporated into a tattoo. In January. 

Also in January I got a “Prisoner of Donuts” tattoo... because life just wouldn’t be manageable at all without donuts.

In March, I got a bird of prey carrying a book to represent one of my all time favorite poems, “On Thought in Harness” by Edna St. Vincent Millay. The final lines of that poem:

“Soar, eat ether, see what has never been seen. Depart, be lost, but climb.” 

In July, I was able to safely navigate getting a tattoo that symbolizes the saga told in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. LOTR is my first and oldest fandom and the story is still so, so important to me today. The lessons I learned from Tolkien when I was a kid also carried me through some of my hardest moments this year.

Also in July I got a Plumpy tattoo. That’s right. Plumpy. From Candyland. If you haven’t played the game in a while, you may not remember Plumpy. He’s one of the first characters you meet on the game board... and one of the worst cards to see when you’re close to winning the game. You could be three damn squares from the finish line and pull the Plumpy card and back to the beginning of the board you go. Plumpy is a really great reminder that even when we have no choice but to lose ground, we can gain that ground back again. And hey, once you pull the Plumpy card from the deck, you likely won’t see him again for a good long while. 

In October, I was able to safely navigate getting my second Harry Potter tattoo. Neville has always been one of my favorite fantasy characters and I chose to carry him with me permanently. His courage, despite so, so much bullshit, inspires me every day. I also got a nautical tattoo for my mom’s ancestors who came to this country and fought in the Revolutionary War. Just as my family has a long and proud history of fighting for what matters, I too will carry that banner, even if it looks very, very different in the modern age. My third tattoo of the appointment is a cuckoo holding playing cards, a nod to one of most important stories I’ve read: Ken Kesey’s “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” This book has informed not just my personal journey with mental illness but my passion to work in the field as well. My final tattoo of my October appointment, less than a week before the 2020 election, is a weeping Lady Justice. 

----

This year has made me look critically at things I very comfortably ignored for a long time. I would hope that it has done the same for most of you. Very little if any of this year was easy for me... but the most important lessons are never easy to learn. I’ve spent this year more worried and more angry than I’ve ever been before... and all I hope to do moving forward is use that fear and that anger to make this country, this world, a better place. Miss me with your resolutions this year. Every single day we should prioritize surviving and treating others with understanding and active love. I worked hard to do that this year and I will continue to work hard to do that every day. I’m proud of the work I’ve done. And in case it wasn’t clear, I’ll be dragging as many of you as I can on this journey with me. If you really feel the need to make a resolution this year, resolve to learn. Resolve to understand. Resolve to read The New Jim Crow and then TAKE ACTION. Take action with your votes and your voices and your money. Resolve to act.

----

This year wouldn’t let me escape it without being put on blood pressure medication, despite my best efforts to lower my blood pressure without it. Although I had gotten back down into a healthy range for a few weeks, RBG’s death and the landslide of utter shit that followed that completely wrecked all the progress I had made. I’m not happy about adding a new medicine to my regimen. I’m not happy about adding a new chronic diagnosis to my already lengthy laundry list. I did not expect 30 to look like allergy pills and three daily moisturizers and foot stretches and Metamucil and acid reducers and migraine medication and iron supplements and six prunes a day and chronic pain and blood pressure medication... but here we are. I’m exhausted from working so hard to be healthy just to have all that work not be enough. I feel very much like my body is giving up on me... and that is a feeling I am struggling with a lot right now. My soul is a vibrant but powerless passenger in a car speeding towards the edge of a cliff.

I’ll keep trying though. I start my new medication tonight. Hopefully it helps. Hopefully the side effects are manageable. I don’t really feel like I can handle much more... but I guess we keep going until we can’t.   

----

I have no expectations for 2021 to be better. I don’t have much hope for it to be better either. This vaccine will saves lives and that’s really good news. But a lot of other things will be difficult, will stay difficult, will become difficult. I’m going to try to keep fighting, and I hope you do too. 

“What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.” 

[miranema]

When you are still talking about a show you are too old for..

warning: it’s loooong (TL;DR section at the bottom)

Just to be clear I have no intention to look into and review any more Winx Club related content and it’s not just because the current environment is not conducive to this kind of endeavor. After I finished paying off my debts I considered getting back to this but eventually decided against it because some of my thoughts regarding this show have changed a little and I overall no longer see the point. One of the things I wanted to accomplish when I first started was to figure out why this show never appealed to me when it first came out on the FoxBox and well, the answer was very simple if not ridiculously obvious. This show was not made for me.

I was a few months short of 13 when the show premiered in the US and had just enough experience in the genre to have expectations, and this was the problem. When western magical girl series started to show up in the early 2000s, I expected shows that improved upon the standards and cliches left by the likes of Sailor Moon and its genre contemporaries, not just in terms of visuals but writing as well. Winx Club however, seemed more in line with the type of cartoons that (since the 80s) popped up every now and then as promotional material for emerging lines of fashion dolls generally targeting younger girls, with the only difference being that it had a progressive story-line. Even if you argue that Winx Club was not so merchandise-driven in its first seasons, contemporary fashion and aesthetics had always been the selling point. By then, shows that prioritized visual appeal over writing and seemed to exists primarily as toy commercials, were starting to lose my interest. I was also getting tired of certain staples like romantic relationships being bland but senselessly overemphasized and characters (specially protagonists) being archetypes with little to no complexity.  

As an adult, I since looked back at shows of similar quality/target audience and I have surprisingly been able to find joy within them leading me to another conclusion. It’s not that I am too old and weary to appreciate animated media aimed at young girls. It’s more likely that Winx Club is a sore spot for me because it is the show that made me realize (if subconsciously) that networks in charge of delivering animated media to mainstream television were no longer invested in appealing to me. As a non-white, lower-middle class girl who was never all that into relationship-melodrama I felt that most cartoons of my day didn’t really catered to my interest and I think I saw the rise of Winx Club as a bitter indication that even the animated genres that I liked or tolerated would eventually become completely inaccessible to me.

I had some trouble finding out what the target audience bracket was for the first season. From what I eventually gathered it is either 4-8 or 5-10, although apparently concept-wise the show was intended for a slightly older age group. I give more credence to the first bracket because honestly I think this show works best as baby’s first magical girl series. The less experience you have in the genre, the less fed-up with tropes and the less expectations you have going in, the better.

Lets just make a thing clear. There is no such thing as being too old to watch cartoons. An art medium is not inherently tied to an age group. Unfortunately, everything is at the mercy of capitalism, specially art produced for entertainment. There is a lot of stupidity and outdated ideas governing how mainstream shows are made and to whom they are made for. Industries don’t like to take chances and they are reluctant to change in accordance to society unless an increased in profits can be assured to some degree…

Look, look! I swear I was just going to post a simple paragraph-long note to whoever cared, stating I was not going to continue reviewing Winx Club even though I am no longer in debt. But, I made the HUGE mistake of looking at the Wikipedia page, specifically the part where they quoted show creator Iginio Straffi defending the controversial choices made for season 8, and here I am, annoyed and rambling. To paraphrase, he claims kids around 10 years and older just don’t watch cartoons as much as they used to (sure, Jan) and they just had to retooled their show for a younger demographic and that just means it cannot be as complex as it used to be. Yes, complex is a word he ascribed to the earlier Winx Club content (level of complexity to be clear). I rolled my eyes, I died a little inside and overall I also decided, among other things, to never read another Iginio Straffi interview ever again.

In an effort to wash away this BS and exorcise some demons let me throw here some of my still lingering unwarranted Winx Club thoughts in no particular sequence before this platform collapses any further:

Winx Club is one of if not the longest running western magical girl group series and its success is likely attributed to the fact that back when it premiered in the US, it was the only accessible and visually appealing series to come out of the genre since the beginning of the millennium. It practically had a monopoly of its intended audience. In my neck of the woods, it was available without the need of a cable/satellite subscription. In contrast, Dinsey-owned W.I.T.C.H. didn’t have that same accessibility and I don’t think I even need to bring up anime in general. The one other magical girl show from around the same time that I remembered coming across in syndicated broadcast was Trollz, and well you look that up and tell me how much staying power that looked like it had.

If the show has struggled in recent years is of course NOT because older kids don’t watch cartoons nowadays. Rather I think the show runners are not quite grasping how the circumstances surrounding their target audience have changed since the early 2000s. There are a lot more options out there in terms of entertainment even if you narrow things down to only western magical girl cartoons, not to mention that Winx club no longer has an edge on accessibility. I also think we consume media faster and that along with all the new options of entertainment means we have less head space to dedicate to one single show. Putting a new coat of paint to the newer seasons is simply not enough to remain relevant.

Adding to the above, It’s been well over ten years since the show first premiered. I don’t have data to prove this, but I am willing to bet that a sizable chunk of viewers were there from the beginning or joined at the start of the Nickelodeon era. It makes little sense for changes in writing to include hacking its continuity, rewriting established lore and deleting whatever meager character development they ever had. Maybe it’s not a good idea to turn your show with progressive storytelling including aging characters, into a cash cow you intend to milk for as long as you can and beyond. Maybe they should have given the early seasons a proper conclusion and laid the groundwork for new groups of characters to lead fresh series within the same universe...or you know, a full reboot.

I am not saying that the show should suddenly conform to my tastes (though that would be nice) after all it was not made for me. I just think that people that stuck with it deserve more than what they have been getting. I saw some positive feedback with regards to World of Winx but from what little I saw I don’t think it was good enough to be the series for older fans. Tone might be slightly different but writing-wise it feels more or less the same as the current series. The attempts at humor are still not landing for me at least. Also, how old does Straffi thinks the older fans are? 10? Who knows, maybe season 8 did its job in drawing-in the next gen, and maybe the planned live action series will be all that the older fans have been asking for. I do wish them the best.

Regarding things that I changed my mind about (though only a little bit)...In more than one occasion I referred to Bloom as a mary sue and this has been digging at me. Either the term has become toxic and too often unfairly assigned to any female character in a leading position, or it was always an improper way to discuss mediocre writing. There are main characters that are created in part to serve as vehicles of indulgence for its intended audience. I don’t think these these type of characters need to be complex to be successful or serviceable but I do think relatability and/or likability are indicators of whether or not a specific indulgent protagonist is effective. I didn’t find Bloom to be effective but she seems to be popular enough with the younger range of fans and that’s what matters. All I am saying is that Bloom could have easily been better and all it would have taken was for the writers to slightly lower the pedestal they put her on. Otherwise, they should have just stuck with the Magical Bloom title so no one would have delusions that the show would ever focus on anyone else.

I stand by most of my other major criticisms of the series. Though I admit that when I was looking at each episode I would spend an unreasonable amount of time on small things or personal pet peeves.I maintain however that to whom a show is intended for should not be a determinant of quality and there are things worth discussing even if one is not within the age-range of said audience. However, it’s not hard to tell what Winx Club is mostly about; it’s romance-centered. If you are not all that invested on that sort of stuff or you don’t like what the show is offering, then there is little point in sticking around because you are just going to get more and more caught-up on the flaws. The fantasy world elements while ambitious in scope are not well developed and consistency is an issue since the beginning that only gets worse as the series goes on. Unless you can subsist solely on the aesthetics and merch-friendly elements, I wouldn’t bother beyond the first movie.

If Winx Club had been the definitive blue print shaping the future of western magical girls shows, I would probably feel justified in making this much of a fuss. However, pretty much any other show I have seen after the fact has been a deviation and an improvement. I believe that’s because more content creators that grew up with the genre (and understood the many ways it could be improved) are finding opportunities to bring their appreciation for it into the mainstream. It’s pointless for me to still complain about the older stuff. Heck, I can even find good things to say about Angel’s Friends and this is definitely a cartoon that was shaped by the success of the fairy school show. 

Winx Club is fine, it has as much right to exist as any other piece of mindless entertainment aimed at any demographic.  And that’s that.

TL;DR

I am not reviewing Winx Club stuff anymore. I just had a lot of thoughts that were brought up by an annoying Iginio Straffi quote I saw on the Wiki page while I was working on that last post. Extended rambling is what I apparently do when I am mildly upset. I barfed all this out in the hopes that I won’t think about this show again anytime soon.

 If morbid curiosity gets the better of me, I might give future Winx Club content a watch. I just won’t post about it because it seems I am incapable of finding joy in it.

No, I don’t take criticisms of the bad spelling/grammar of my ramblings. Let this mess be. This is also not a place for debate, the only discourse I welcome here is whether or not relatability is a word. Online dictionaries say it’s fine but my word processor says it is not a thing. Discuss! (JK)

Stay safe,

[bigskydreaming]

Blech. I’ve pretty much officially finished writing, editing and revising this standalone epic fantasy novel I started years and years ago and only just recently got around to finishing. Which is good, for sure, but also....blech. LOL. Because now I have no more excuses for putting off making a decision about the cover.

Like I always intended to self-pub this particular novel for personal reasons, and I can make my own covers just fine. I’ve done epic fantasy covers before for other clients that turned out well, even working with stock art and photomanipulation, its totally possible to make something that hits all the genre expectations and sells the right tone and feel to readers who come across it. BUT I’ve always loved the illustrated covers of a lot of fantasy novels I grew up with, and always kinda wanted something similar for this particular work, even though I have other fantasy projects I wouldn’t care as much about that one way or the other.

And so years ago when I first started the book and was only about a third of the way in, but still had a solid sense of the world and story and where it was all going, I happened to stumble across a fantasy artist whose work was like...exactly the right tone and aesthetic I’d always been picturing for that novel’s setting and vibe. And he was a freelancer, and open to commissions at the time, and you never know with freelancers if they’ll still be taking commissions a year or two down the line or if they’ve gone to work for like, a video game company or studio or something like that by that point, so even though the book was nowhere near done I hopped on that and commissioned an illustration from him to be used for the cover at some future point when I was ready for it. I just needed the illustration, I was fine doing typography and all that myself when the time came.

And I mean, I’ve literally been on the other side of the author/artist interaction tons of times, lol, so like, I know from my own experiences where its helpful to give an artist or a designer room to breathe and exercise their own creativity, make use of their own particular skillset and interpret the story elements you tell them are most important to see conveyed in the final cover, in like...their own way, like what feels best to them, what they’re most inspired to do with the foundational info you give them to build off of. 

Like I mean, visual design is its own skillset, and often completely separate from the kind of visualization most authors do of their own work while writing it....and with self-pubbed authors especially, as artists or designers you often run into authors who get really hung up on relatively minor details that they feel really need to be on the cover in some capacity and in really specific ways. Which is often to the detriment of the cover in the long run because like....what looks right in your head as a writer, totally familiar with your own world and story and its every minutiae and the implications and context of every single element....is not always going to come across the same way to readers who happen across your cover while browsing. Because they literally have ZERO context for what they’re looking at, and thus it really needs to stand on its own two feet and sell itself, not....loop back around to some hidden significance that will really only resonate with readers who end up buying the book and only once they reach this one scene in chapter 27 or whatever, you know?

So I really didn’t want to do that with this artist. I was only commissioning him because I loved what I’d seen of his work and the style he seemed to default to naturally was the perfect fit for what I wanted, IMO, so I was more than willing to let him take the broader strokes of the setting/themes/storyline in whatever direction inspired him most, as long as he hit within the general framework I provided him.

BUT, that said, for all that I tried to give him as much creative freedom to work with as possible, there are of course always a FEW things that as the commissioning party, are really important to see in the final product, and so yeah, I did have a couple of areas/elements that I did stress were really important to strike the right tone with, or it could make or break the whole illustration.

Specifically, I was concerned that he hit the right feel with the main character. My protag for this novel is a woman, and the one area his portfolio samples didn’t have a ton of variety with and thus had me slightly worried about what visual tropes he might default to...was female characters. He had tons of gorgeous settings, fantasy creatures, architecture, knights and sorcerers and monsters, but not a ton of women in the samples I saw. He did have some, for sure, and like there was nothing super concerning about the way he’d drawn/painted them....there were some priestesses, sorceresses, that kinda thing, and their anatomy and wardrobes weren’t like....glaringly cheesecake-y or anything like a lot of fantasy artists’ portfolios....so I knew he COULD get the character right, the way I hoped he would, I just wasn’t SURE. Like, I wasn’t concerned about specific details, beyond like....not outrageously contradicting the character description and scenes I gave him to work off of, I wasn’t worried about nitpicking minutiae. But my protag is a warrior-magic user archetype, and warrior women is like, the one female archetype he didn’t have any samples of, and I was more concerned about him defaulting to like....the old fantasy standby’s of ridiculously impossible and unnatural poses for warrior women, not to mention totally impractical armor, that sort of thing. 

Not to put too fine a point on it, but this was the ONE thing I stressed, lol. I didn’t really care about the finer details of her armor like in terms of decoration or filigree or even color schemes, I honestly could just adjust my own descriptions in the book to match what he came up with if need be. Stuff like that, so not a big deal to me. ALL I was concerned about was like....she not fall into those trope traps that ensnare so many women on fantasy covers, like....just make her look like she’s a fucking warrior who knows what the hell she’s doing, and I’ll be fine with everything else, you know? I even sent him some covers of published fantasy novels to use as comparison comps, like ‘this is the kind of feel or vibe I’d ideally like to see her capture, something like these women in these covers here’ as well as ‘this is what I really really DON”T want to see, like, I shouldn’t have a better sense of how good a contortionist she is than whether or not I believe she can swing a sword.’

Soooooo.....what happened?

Did he prioritize as I’d really really hoped he would and strongly expressed my desire for him to, and take care to at least avoid the more obvious problems, even if the end result was’t 100% what I was hoping for? Nooooooope. She might as well be mid-yoga pose. Sigh. Like, the guy has a damn near perfect grasp of anatomy and proportions on every other human figure I saw in the many samples I looked through before commissioning him, but somehow, despite this being of utmost importance to me and the ONLY thing about the entire project I stressed about and made sure to emphasize, lol, he ended up painting her in this weird bent at the waist position that throws her lower body proportions off entirely and like, her hip is angled or arched in this weird way that’s incredibly distracting and off, and like also, of course her armor is....pointless, in all the specific ways that happened to be the ONLY details about her armor I was concerned with. Y’know. Like. Its effectiveness. As armor.

And the absolutely obnoxious thing about it all, is that everything else about the illustration? Absolutely gorgeous. Everything I’d hoped for, even as I deliberately tried not to build up too specific an image in my mind ahead of time. Hell, BETTER than anything I’d have come up with on my own, and totally validating my impulse to have someone with different skillsets than my own do this instead of just making a cover out of stock art the way I usually do with my other projects. He absolutely captured the specific MOOD I was aiming for with the setting and general atmosphere, like, the very reason I’d been drawn to his style in the first place, he totally nailed that. Couldn’t have asked for a better fit to the general ambiance of the piece. The colors were just the right shade of otherworldly, a great mix of light and darkness that sold the gloom of the surrounding environs without drowning in dark palettes that make it hard to pick out individual details and differentiate between figures. So on and so on.

EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING ABOUT THE DAMN ILLUSTRATION IS PERFECT LOL.

Except for the only fucking part I was worried about in the first place, lmaaaaaaaaaao whyyyyyyy.

And I mean, because his style was a combo of illustration and painting, there was never gonna be a ton of room for revisions or tweaks to the final piece, I knew and understood that going in. He showed me what he had when he was done with the initial pencilwork, before he painted over it, but with the understanding that it could still change from that point, if he needed to shift things around because of the way the colors and lighting and shadows were all coming out once painted. And the pencil work lacked the finer details that he added into his painting in the final stages, so like, I did see a rough draft before he started painting, and could ask for tweaks or adjustments at that point...except at that point, I didn’t NEED to! LOL. In the rougher sketch, her general position was just shifted enough from what it ended up being that like, it wasn’t my ideal pose for her but nothing I’d say I actually had a problem with, like her upper body was elevated just enough and at just the right angle compared to what he ended up with that at that point, there was no unnatural hip thrust or any of that stuff, and there was only a rough sense of what would come to be the final armor. So I mean, TECHNICALLY I had an opportunity to pump the brakes and be like whoa wait dude, this isn’t what we discussed, can I get you to go back to the drawing board just in this one specific area right here and maybe even just take another look at those comps I sent you, see what I mean about what I’m trying to avoid and how that’s kinda sneaking in here anyway....except, I didn’t think I had to say anything at that point lol, because it all looked on track??

I mean, its not like I think he deliberately misled me with that initial draft or anything, nothing as dramatic as that. I’m fairly certain that like most artists and designers will tell you, in the process of like, the actual drawing/painting/designing, you have to make adjustments as you go to account for the little unforseen speedbumps where you were juuuuuust off enough in your prediction of how this would look when working in your ultimate medium, that you have to like...keep nudging your initial outline little by little as you go to account for the slight shift in direction...with gradually that adding up to a fairly significant departure in the end. Ultimately, I think we ended up with what we ended up with because he was good with focusing on my specific concerns when drafting in pencil and just mapping out a general intent, but the closer he got to finishing up his piece, the less and less focused he was on the stuff I prioritized rather than his own innate prioritizations and so he just kinda figured ‘is it really gonna be THAT big a deal?’ instead of sacrificing a direction or angle that played into what he thought was a more important design element. Stuff like that. Like, you know me, I’m def not saying that makes it A-Ok in my book, lol, I just mean to say I honestly don’t think it was...a willful, conscious effort on his part to leave me with something as far removed from what I was hoping for as what I got.

So again I say blech. Its just super frustrating and obnoxious and I’ve been trying to decide what to do with it for like, months now. Because again, EVERYTHING ELSE is perfect and gorgeous and like, yes, good, this is what I wanted, what I was hoping for. Like, I literally could not come up with a design using my own go-to mediums that would come anywhere close to capturing the general feel and tone and mood of the story and its setting better than the overall vibe of his piece.

Its just the protag, front and center, is absolutely driving me fucking nuts. And I keep going back and forth endlessly because I’m like is it really THAT bad and noticeable or am I hyper-fixating because I specifically tried to avoid this end result and ended up with at least a version of it anyway? And then I’m like psst, remember how much fucking money you spent on this, like yeah thats long gone and doesn’t change your current situation one way or another so it doesn’t really matter except oh yeah its totally gonna fucking haunt you if you don’t use this lol and all that money was spent for nothing lmfao you dumbass. And then I’m like, just to weigh my options, what would I design for this cover myself, if I ended up scrapping this and making my own from scratch, do I at least have anything in mind that’s for sure not any worse than my dissatisfaction with this? Except lol I literally can not seem to come up with ANYTHING, like, total blank, because again there’s just enough that I LIKE about the piece that its like, now that I’ve seen THOSE aspects of it, I’m not gonna be content with any cover that doesn’t contain them and I just literally have no way of replicating those effects via my own design medium.

Ugh. So its really annoying, and I keep going around and around and around in circles and making no progress on what to do about it and like...ugh. I hate being so anal about shit like this, especially when I am usually pretty good about dodging the hyper-fixation tendencies on this front specifically.....but I just got whammied but good by the way all of this unfolded and came together and now I feel stuck and lmao I’m really not fond of the fact that I’m really fucking proud of this book and how it came out in terms of the writing and story but like, covers ARE actually a pretty big deal as they’re literally a reader’s first impression, and I feel like no matter which route I go, a big part of me is gonna be doomed to be like NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT THAT WAS THE WRONG CHOICE, UGH WTF DUDE, TURN AROUND, UNDO, UNDO, U’LL REGRET THIIIIIIIS.

ANYWAY! That’s my much ado about nothing. I was kinda hoping that hashing it all out in a post and working my way through it as I wrote it all down would like....magically reveal the Right Decision to me and everything would click and be so obvious by the time I got to this point in the post, but alas.

Fix-It Machine broke. This accomplished nothing. UGH. RUDE.

[whypolar]

Character Creation Tag

Was tagged in this a few days ago by @diseonfire

(If I tag you in this and you don’t want to do it for any reason don’t worry about it. I just picked some people who sprung to mind.)

I’m going to use Maria for this.

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

Appearance. She was one of the first four IC characters I designed, before IC was actually a thing. Maria, Vikas and Ravi were all conceived as cousins, and they were all based on the same old character from when I was in highschool.

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Yes. Pretty much all the characters in IC were built with each other in mind, since it’s a story about family.

I would say that she links most closely with Tommy and Lila (since they are her most immediate family members), followed by Ravi (since they have a few very important things in common).

3. How did you choose their name?

I don’t remember exactly how I picked them, but she and her siblings all have names derived from figures in Christianity. Maria is easily the most blatant choice you can get for that lmao

Karalis is a greek surname (constructed from borrowed turkish afiak). It has a number of meanings in other languages, too, which may not have any shared etymology but are still pretty neat imho - latvian karalis and latin caralis.

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

f a m i l y

5. Is there any significance behind their hair colour?

Red Brown Looks Cool.

6. Is there any significance behind their eye colour?

Brown Eyes Are Common.

7. Is there any significance behind their height?

Heights for ic were decided collectively based on 1) structure of the family tree and 2) visual variety in character design.

She’s on the shorter side, like Lila, while Tommy and Silas are both taller like their father.

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

She’s one of the characters who I consider to be more ‘like me’, particularly in regards to self-perception and how she relates to other people (or doesn’t).

9. Are they based off of you, in some way?

I would argue most of my characters are based on me, even the ones that don’t resemble me at all by the end. I’ve only ever been myself. Maybe that’s just being pedantic though.

The very earliest incarnation of her relationship with Cindy in IC was basically a cautionary tale, directed at myself, about selfishness. Since I was writing that version while in the middle of a long-term abusive relationship, I eventually had to gut all of that content and rebuild from the ground up. The ‘moral’ from that version of the draft was pretty nonsensical and unfair, since it was driven by personal guilt and a partner with unreasonable expectations.

10. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

She’s been a lesbian since day one. Pretty sure she’s the only character under 30 who hasn’t had their canon sexuality change at least once.

11. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

A lot of what is most compelling about her is not visually apparent by design, since her storyline is themed around being closed off, flat, etc. It doesn’t especially make for interesting standalone illustrations.

12. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

Oh, not at all. IC ends where it ends, and where the characters go after that is anybody’s guess.

That’s a long way off though. Maybe I’ll change my mind eventually.

13. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

She is driven more by obligation than desire.

She habitually prioritizes other people’s needs and wants, and has a difficult time even identifying her own.

14. What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

Her general demeanour is deadpan, and it drives the more reactive characters up the wall. She can antagonize a good chunk of the cast without even trying.

15. What is something about your OC can make you cry?

That’s probably spoilers.

16. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

Hah. I have had regrets before, but I usually just… change the thing. I can’t say I won’t regret anything in the future, once I’m far enough along in the comic that they can’t be changed, but I can’t really predict that. If I could, they wouldn’t be regrets!

17. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

Bro I have so much more parental health angst material now, it’s gonna be a nightmare

18. What is your favourite fact about your OC?

In the very oldest version of her character - before any of the current plot or structure existed - I decided that she was going to ‘steal’ Ravi’s girlfriend by the end. lmao

(They both had fairly different personalities at this point. Ravi was still being written as a man. He wasn’t the protagonist yet, either! Vikas was the protagonist!!!! 

Anyway, proto-Ravi fucking sucked. The fact these early versions of the characters were not very likeable or fun for me to write is a large part of why I scrapped them.)

TAGGING... @hierophanthistorian @denzelle @machi-tobaye @plaguecraft  @slugpuppie @ladyisak @ghoultwink

and anyone else who wants to do it! don’t let your dreams be dreams!!!

[architectnews]

Le Pavillon of Romainville, Paris

Le Pavillon of Romainville, Parisian Auditorium, Show Room Building, French Architecture Photos

Le Pavillon of Romainville in Paris

19 Feb 2021

Le Pavillon of Romainville

Design: Miralles-Tagliabue EMBT and ilimelgo

Location: Romainville, Paris, France

Le Pavillon of Romainville, the green revelation for cultural heritage

• Through an organic response, Le Pavillon’s new architecture for citizenship creates green spaces connected to the forest and a place of life in the heart of Romainville. • The sensitive architecture, respectful with the memory of the place, offers a tribute to the industrial past of Romainville and becomes a citizen meeting point that facilitates access to culture. • The highly sustainable proposal dialogues and points out the value of the existing historical structure of the Polish Pavilion that belonged to the Universal Exhibition of 1937.

The transformation of Le Palais des Fêtes into Le Pavillon has been completed as the patrimonial protagonist of the city of Romainville in Paris, designed by Benedetta Tagliabue and her architecture studio Miralles-Tagliabue EMBT in collaboration with the french studio ilimelgo. The commission comes through a won competition to transform and give new functions to the small pre-existing building that needed a new life. New volumes have been added to the rehabilitated preexistence creating a complex that links the city, the new garden and the nearby forest. The cultural center is one more example of how Benedetta Tagliabue’s studio materialize its projects: an organic gesture capable of connecting with the most sustainable aspects for urban integration and the insertion of green in the city, taking care of the environment and the memory of the place.

Intertwined synergies: memory, culture and sustainability The sensitive and adaptable architecture of Le Pavillon revalues the existing historical legacy and creates heritage for the enjoyment of the public. It is a space for coexistence for all audiences, open to different artistic expressions and practices, which strengthens the cultural fabric of Romainville. The community identifies with this space for which it feels a special collective pride, now renewed with the synergies between green and culture in an open place of life, in the heart of the city.

This new cultural center joins the different interventions that Benedetta Tagliabue’s studio develops in le Grand Paris, a metropolitan project that is redefining the city of the future under the values of accessibility, respect for the environment and the improvement of quality of life. Recently Benedetta Tagliabue has been awarded with the ARVHA 2020 Prix des Femmes Architectes, ex aequo with Anna Heringer, launched by the French Association for Research on the City and Habitat. The award shows the value that the French Ministry of Culture, the Pavillon de l’Arsenal and the National Council of the Order of French Architects give to the architect’s latest projects.

Dialogues with heritage for new organic connections Taking care of what already exists, the project rehabilitates the structure of the Polish Pavilion for the Universal Exhibition of 1937, that formed the old Palais de Fêtes with a façade accessible from the street. The history of the Pavilion is thus incorporated into the new set of pieces, maintaining its leading role as the city’s cultural heritage and dialoguing with the new faceted volumes.

The sensitivity of the project strategy consists in creating new volumes organically connected with the old pieces, the new garden and the city. The value of ideas prevails over any excessive gesture. The care for the memory of the place determines the fit of the project, which is resolved with an accompaniment to the citizen: from the city to the garden and to the forest. With the designed garden, the green arrives to the city through the entrance hall that serves as a link at the street level. The street façade has been treated as a fundamental interface to allow this permeability with the urban environment. A game of opacities and transparencies in the apertures invites you to enter. The hall is both a meeting place and the articulation with the built volumes. On a larger urban scale, the new pieces that make up Le Pavillon connect with the landscape of the old quarries of the city and are located on the link between the periphery and the center of Paris.

Integration in the heart of the city, culture at street level If the project on an urban scale attends and takes care of the connections with the environment and the city of Paris, on a small scale it prioritizes the user experience. Le Pavillon program is solved with the design of different pieces that allow multiplying the scenic and activity possibilities. The spatial organization favors a continuous and simultaneous use of its spaces: entrance and connection hall, event room and modular room. In addition, the center houses La maison de la filo, a unique space in France that promotes resources for the dissemination of philosophical thought and practices.

Le Pavillon is a highly sustainable project both for the idea of reusing the pre-existing pieces in a careful way, and for its integration into the environment creating new green spaces and the use of the materials produced in it. The two new volumes built have a double skin as a façade: exposed concrete and metallic layer with green shadows that remind us the proximity of the forest. The play of colors on the façade is integrated into the garden landscape and dialogues with the pre-existing pieces. The façade responds to a sustainable choice linked to the nature of Romainville in which the industry has had a transcendent historical and social role. It is a tribute to Romainville’s industrial past.

Rehabilitation And Extension Of Romainville’s Event Hall Transformation Of The Events Hall To A Pavilion

A place steeped in history The history of this building begins in 1937 with the construction of the Polish Pavilion in the « Universal Exhibition of Arts and Techniques Applied to Modern Life” in Paris. The mayor of Romainville, Pierre Kerautret, elected in 1935, bought the structure which was being dismantled. Its metal frame, originally being part of the Halls of the Pavilion, is therefore a precious witness to the history of Romainville. The mayor wanted to turn it into a gymnasium and the new building was the first institutional building to adorn Avenue Paul Vaillant Couturier. The framework was therefore flanked by two new buildings, the main facade of which, dressed in an “art deco” style, corresponds to the canons of this period. The construction was completed after the war, and was used as a cinema, festivities hall and cultural events. Over time, the original metal structure remained hidden and the volumes were altered and modified inside to respond to transient functional demands.

Rediscover and revalue The project approach starts from the constant dialogue between the intervention and the existing parts of the building. The aim of the architectural intervention is to highlight the most important historical part (the metal structure) and to keep as much free space as possible on the plot to convert it into an accessible garden and open it to the public. An important point to be resolved was accessibility from the street, since the existing building was raised above the current level of the sidewalk.

Based on these guiding ideas, the new program is located in two new independent volumes, which perfectly meet the requirements of the program and which are in the form of two large crystals with angular shapes, different from the existing volumes and minimizing the impact. on the future garden.

Light, transparency and colours The complete reordination of the blind facade towards the street led us to create a rhythm of large openings which connect the existing space of the old performance hall to the city. The historic metallic structure is unveiled and freed from any foreign element, reborn as the protagonist of this generous space, designed between the facade open to the street and the garden connected to the Corniche des Forts.

The old village hall is transformed, on the one hand, into a new reception area for future theatres and, on the other hand, into a porch open to the street which allows the public to access the back garden during the day. The old volume becomes transparent, permeable, without losing its character, and allows the garden to be seen from the street. This space becomes diaphanous, fills with natural light through the openings of the facade and becomes a porch and an access hall to the performance halls, offices, or the association “Maison de la Philosophie” installed in the west wing. The current levels are lowered to street level, thus making it possible to connect the street, the garden and the rest of the spaces on the ground floor on the same level.

The technical and storage spaces are in a separate volume, following the existing east wing. The artists’ access is separated by an independent entrance through the garden, as well as the access to the delivery area, completely separated from the flow of spectators and the public.

Each performance hall has a different atmosphere. The event room, open to the garden, has large bay windows that bring light and a feeling of space. The volume of the room penetrates the existing building and its completely new metal roof structure interprets the historic structure in a modern way. The acoustic treatment in irregular wooden battens becomes decorative. This room can be extended to the outside, leaving the garden doors open.

The second room is modular, intended for theatrical performances and concerts, dark in colour to better meet the needs of the program. The room configuration allows its use with modulated stands or without stands. It is accessed by 2 vestibules, one on each side, which lead directly to the middle of the room, and the volume is separated from the rest of the building by a small patio which illuminates the foyer and the spaces for the artists.

The two rooms have in common the treatment of the facades, carried out with 2 independent layers – one in exposed concrete painted in colours, which corresponds to the interior layer, and the other in sheet metal with different perforations and colours that make up the exterior volume. of the room. The material of the roof is the same as that of the facades, forming the irregular and singular volumes of the rooms. The designs on concrete are inspired by human figures dancing in motion, while the design of the perforated sheet metal in different colours and transparencies is inspired by a collage made from the combination of fragments of images of the city of Romainville – with fragments of its emblematic buildings such as its telecommunications tower, its historic buildings, its factories, the shed roofs… The use of metallic materials is a direct reference to the industrial and working-class past of this small town in eastern Paris.

All the interventions of the project are visible, and the new architecture can be read perfectly in the use of materials and in the volumetric composition. The building is completely transformed, opens towards the city and offers a recomposed image of the old volume, creating a dialogue between historical memory and the intervention of the project.

The intentions of the project can be read in the final result of this rehabilitation, and the people of Romainville of all ages have already appropriated the new cultural and social centre, as well as the garden. The generous and well-lit reception and circulation areas are privileged places for new scheduled or spontaneous activities.

Le Pavillon of Romainville in Paris, France – Building Information

Design: Miralles Tagliabue EMBT Location: Romainville, Paris, France Dates: 2017–2019

Client: Romainville Town Hall Architects: Benedetta Tagliabue, chief architect Miralles Tagliabue EMBT Elena Nedelcu, project director Local architects:ilimelgo architectes Valerian Amalric Maxime Potiron

Bureau d’études TCE: EPDC Structural Engineer: IETI Economist consultant: MEBI Acoustic consultant: AVLS Scenography: Tourny Landscape consultant: Land’Act Photography: Duccio Malagamba, Marcela Grassi, Paul Lengereau

Collaborators EMBT: Ana Otelea, Marzia Faranda, Vincenzo Larocca, Alessia Apicella, Marilena Petropoulou, Gabriele Rotelli, Ana Dinca, Andrea Marchesin, Antonio Soreca, Cristina Ghigheanu, Damiano Rigoni, Diana Santana, Eliza Neagu, Iago Pérez Fernández, Manousos Kakouris, Marco Loretelli, Marco Molinari, Marion Delaporte, Máté Géhberger, Salvatore Sapienza, Sara Mucciola, Silvia Plesea, Valentina Frigeni, Verónica Donà, Yasmine Fahmy.

Collaborators ilimelgo: Félicie Botton, Paul Lengereau, Héloïse Debroissia, Morgane Hamel, Marine Amand

Area: 2.735 sqm Cost: 8.414.521,22 € Typology: Rehabilitation and extension Scope: Complete Program: Auditorium, show room, offices, foyer, artists dressing rooms, services

Le Pavillon of Romainville, Paris images / information received 190221

Location: Paris, France

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[ganymedesclock]

Voltron Character Study: Zarkon

[read more analyses like these here]

I promised you guys one of these shindigs ages ago so let’s do this, everyone’s favorite (??) scary space turtle warlord. Sphinx? Everybody talks about the galra being cats and no one accuses Zarkon of being a sphinx. What’s up with that, guys. 

I’m getting off topic.

So Zarkon’s a big old enigma to us in some regards, even after s1e11′s big revelation that he’s the prior Black Paladin. I was hesitant to really crank out a post like this, with so much of Zarkon’s significant backstory still ambiguous to us.

One thing would seem to be pretty clear, however: at some point, between his tenure as Black Paladin and becoming Emperor of the Known Universe, Zarkon survived some grievous, traumatic event.

A lot of things point to this. The scar on his face, his counterpart on Team Voltron’s side being Shiro (also defined as a survivor, also bearing physical and psychological scars from a traumatic incident), and, most damningly, Black’s recollection of the destroyed and ruined planet that both Zarkon and his former Lion called home. Also, when Zarkon speaks to Alfor in Allura’s flashback in the first episode, we see that long before he would have any reason to use quintessence to avoid aging, he has the telltale glowing violet eyes.

This would suggest that Zarkon’s initial ventures in quintessence weren’t to prolong his life against any natural factors- but rather, quite possibly to preserve him in the face of mortal injury.

This is significant, because it would seem to offer part of what Allura considers the dark history of the paladins- at some point, Zarkon was heavily injured, possibly at the same time his home planet was ravaged, and the other members of the team, for some reason, were not there for him. Haggar, seemingly, was- her presence being suggested by the fact that Zarkon was infused with quintessence when he abundantly does not know how to utilize it himself- relying on Haggar’s guidance, and her subordinate druids, to use it.

However, despite an Altean being there for him, Zarkon came away utterly despising Altea, and Alfor in particular. If Olkarion was the original planet of the Green Lion as seems to be implied, then it’s noteworthy that Olkarion was seemingly ignored by the galra for many years before a relatively recent takeover (Lubos does not seem particularly old) and, in general, that Olkarion was intact- when Zarkon obliterated not only Altea but every planet in its system. It would suggest more than the other paladins, Zarkon carried a grudge almost exclusively towards Alfor, the Yellow Paladin. Considering the domain of the Yellow Lion is support, protection, and a “caretaker” role heavily emphasized by Hunk- this would further suggest that Zarkon was heavily injured, and that regardless of the actual situation, he came away with the impression that Alfor abandoned him.

Something also caused Black to completely reject Zarkon, seemingly to the point that she experiences pain at his trying to use their connection, and that she would empathize with Shiro, who experienced his trauma as a prisoner of Zarkon’s.

Many questions remain. And there’s much of Zarkon’s early life, before becoming a paladin, that is unknown. He seems to have been close enough to Alfor that when Black arrived on his planet, Alfor was who he called for help. He was the king of the galra seemingly by birthright before he was a conqueror, and seemingly, a good king once, considering the profile of the Black Paladin. This would suggest he’s been royalty his entire life, but under what circumstances is unclear.

Remnants of a Paladin

As far as Zarkon has come from his seemingly noble past self, it’s worth noting that he has not been able to break with his history to the point that it is not very obvious where he came from.

The Black Paladin is stated as a sure and decisive leader, one who is followed without question and trusted for guidance. Simply- someone who others look to in a point of crisis, rather than someone who is followed only when named as leader. And it is worth noting that, while Zarkon can often seem horribly abrasive, this is not the relationship many of his people have with him.

To those who only engage with Zarkon at a distance, he’s viewed as an ideal. Varkon, a very duty-bound individual who prides himself in, and prioritizes his work, seems to look to Zarkon as his personal hero. Ulaz states that the galra believed, for a long time, that Zarkon would bring them peace and stability.

At a distance, Zarkon is inspiring, uplifting, a cultural and social icon to the galra. He is their beacon of hope and certainty. Very likely, this kind of force of personality, and charisma, has been a fixture of Zarkon since the very beginning.

During the forging of the Black Lion, we see Alfor as dedicated, focused on his work, but also looking up at Zarkon optimistically. He has no misgivings or doubts with the Black Lion bonding to Zarkon. Even after the fact, Allura describes the Black Paladin in glowing, admirable terms- and Zarkon, the first Black Paladin, would be the one to codify those traits.

Zarkon in the past seems to have been very much like Shiro. Born under high expectations, as royalty- quiet, noble, and trustworthy. Someone looked up to as a guiding light. And while he’s fallen, now, much of that reputation remains- in the people that view him from afar.

Trauma and control

During the astral plane fight, Shiro states that Zarkon is no paladin any more, and specifically accuses him in lacking trust. This statement rings pretty dang true if we look at the pattern of how and when Zarkon attacks people, or marks them for immediate removal and destruction.

What has atrophied in Zarkon is his ability to trust others. An essential skill for the Black Paladin- considering the inherent vulnerability in forming the head and body of Voltron. The head and torso carry the brain and all other vital organs. However, it is incredibly difficult for the head and body to protect itself without limbs. With the most to lose, the Black Paladin is arguably the most reliant on the team. After all, someone whose primary quality is a leader is someone whose qualities only shine in a group. When isolated, one of their main strengths is completely inaccessible.

And Zarkon... can’t do that. He really can’t. As loathe as he is to micromanage- we see that he lashes out with incredible force at anyone who seems to act in a way he can’t control. Even his strong, noteworthy faith in Haggar is conditional- it’s set to the fact that in direct confrontations, Haggar will back down before she argues with Zarkon.

Zarkon only feels safe when anything he doesn’t like, anything he disagrees with, can be shot down. Facing his enemies, Zarkon is unnervingly calm, even sort of grand-paternally affable in his battle against Keith- as long as he feels like his victory is assured, and that his superior force and skills will destroy his foes. As soon as he feels that control threatened, his patience and composure go out the window. 

If this sounds familiar, it should, for good reason. Zarkon and Shiro effectively have the same trigger, in loss of control, and they both tend to respond by tensing up and getting hostile. Shiro’s response to Sendak triggering him is to flush Sendak out of the Castle.

As I have mentioned in Shiro’s analysis (under “Balance and the Black Paladin”) Shiro and Zarkon share a conflict between control and openness. While Shiro actively tends to fight his need for control, making specific statements and decisions to put the group first, even to the extent that he can be too selfless- Zarkon has spiraled so deeply into his need for control that it is almost impossible to spend time in Zarkon’s presence without setting him off.

Consider Haggar, and her comment of “...Clearly, I’ve overstepped myself.” Haggar and Zarkon appear to be very close. Lotor, Zarkon’s son, has not only many Altean traits but also closely resembling Haggar, suggesting their relationship might even be intimate enough that they’ve borne children together.

Haggar is also easily powerful enough to be Zarkon’s equal in every conceivable way. The empire may only acknowledge Zarkon as their emperor, but Haggar is the hidden empress. Without Haggar, Zarkon would die- and even with Zarkon injured, the empire is not remotely dissolving with Haggar still in power. However, in practice- Haggar remains without a title. In practice, she obsequiously observes his title, frames herself as an advisor rather than another ruler.

That Haggar has as much power as Zarkon does, if not more through her having direct power over his life, is an elephant in the room, because the only way Haggar and Zarkon can continue to comfortably coexist is that Zarkon is convinced she is firmly under his power.

Zarkon is traumatized to an extreme that he cannot tolerate an equal, and so the one equal he still has is one that has mastered the art of playing subordinate. Of carefully preserving that deferential distance- and withdrawing, remorseful, when she asserts the reality of their closeness.

The Limbless Tyrant

So Zarkon can only feel safe and comfortable if he feels in control. And it seems, leaving his trauma to fester, Zarkon has spent the last ten thousand years feeding that control to the exclusion, and detriment, of all else. Altea, the initial wound in his eyes, is ground into dust under his heel- but what of the others? After all, he once sided with Altea against a greater enemy.

Zarkon knowing Voltron’s strength, and knowing how it felt to have four other people who always had his back, his team- being a Black Paladin in his prime- after having taken down Alfor and the other three Paladins of old, Zarkon’s fear of lack of control would suddenly set in.

What if he needed them? That power he once had, not the Lions, but, those allies?

That’s unacceptable. He can’t doubt himself. If he does, if he expresses guilt- that would require coming to a point of helplessness, that he cannot bring them back from what he’s done to them. Even if he could, he could never make them trust him once again.

And yet, he also cannot let go of his own history, of what once was his. He keeps the Black Bayard. The design of his armor has changed relatively little from his pre-Paladin days, with Alfor, to his tenure as ruler of the known universe. He can’t turn back, but he can’t let go of that desire for closeness. Quite possibly, wounded and traumatized, part of him wants to confide in others and be able to let down his guard, but, irrationally, he cannot bring himself to open that vulnerability- something he considers “weakness”, and weakness is wholly unacceptable.

So Zarkon digs further and further into aggressive military buildup. He creates his empire, trains it, pushes himself against others. Rather than remaining a single specialized entity whose weaknesses are checked and accommodated by other members of his team, Zarkon overspecializes. It has been pointed out several of Zarkon’s bayard forms resemble the bayards used by the other paladins- suggesting, quite possibly, Zarkon wields the bayard forms of his own, fallen team.

As the conqueror, as the victor- he takes their weapons for his own use, insisting as he does that he doesn’t need the other people there to use those weapons.

It’s an ultimately self-destructive path, in stark contrast to the morals pushed by Voltron itself, interconnection and trust. Zarkon has stocked everything in making himself virtually unstoppable on his own, digging deeper and deeper into dangerous, risky procedures to make himself stronger. In practice, in the Astral Plane battle between him and Shiro, he utterly decimates the latter rather quickly.

However, Zarkon still loses without saving grace, even if he’s able to seize Shiro by the throat and strangle him one-handed.

Because Shiro, a proper Black Paladin- doesn’t fight alone. Because someone has Shiro’s back.

Because even as much as Haggar still cares for Zarkon, and wants to protect him- ordering the druids to limit Zarkon’s exposure and protesting against his overuse of the ritual when it clearly takes a toll on him, not wanting to give him the armor until she knows it won’t kill him- remaining by his side when he’s injured and even risking her own life on his behalf- that doesn’t matter. Zarkon is still completely alone, because putting Haggar in his blind spot and actually fighting with her would acknowledge her as an equal, and it would also acknowledge he has a blind spot in the first place.

Quite possibly, Zarkon could not tolerate such a thing because the last time someone was watching his back, they let him fall, and his staunch refusal to ever try that again has prevented him from having any meaningful counter-experience. Admitting he needs Haggar is admitting that he’d be in danger without her- that she’s in a place to potentially betray him.

The absence of the Dark Paladins

While Zarkon and Shiro are clear echoes of one another, and Haggar and Allura appear to be emerging as another set of villain-and-hero counterparts, it would seem, at a glance, very odd that a show so focused on the team dynamic of the main heroes would not put forth any other villainous counterparts.

However, season 3 promises the arrival of Lotor- a charismatic, scrawny underdog character who seems to be a total unknown in the empire. That Haggar sends for him at the end of season 2 tells us she knew exactly where he has been this entire time.

Lotor is almost certainly an echo of one of the four remaining paladins. Personally, I see him as very likely Lance’s counterpart- a “dark” Blue Paladin. And it’s quite possible other counterparts are going to come out of the woodwork as time goes on, especially if I’m right in my guess of Lotor- because the Blue and Yellow paladins are those whose focus is heavily within the team, and Lotor promises new allies for the empire. 

But I don’t think it’s a coincidence this happens while Zarkon is bedridden, and seemingly removed from decision making.

Once again- Zarkon is suffering from the loss of the other paladins. The build of the Black Paladin is vulnerable without the team, but as much as Zarkon wants to retake Voltron, it’s ultimately a futile dream even outside of if he does kill the current paladins and take the Lions.

Black can’t work for him because he can’t trust her. And he could never put up four other paladins. There almost certainly already is four worthy rivals to the paladins within the empire. But Zarkon would never choose them, and if anything, he would probably try to drive them away from him as fast as possible.

That one of them would appear to be his own son- the son Zarkon has never acknowledged onscreen- is significant to me.

In Summary

Zarkon is a powerful person, once noble and charismatic, now marked primarily by a complete lack of trust and unchecked pursuit of control at any cost. While he wants to capture Voltron and reinstate himself as Black Paladin, he seems to have actively driven away any other replacement paladins within his empire, and his underlying fear and trauma have both atrophied his relationships and left him vulnerable for his lack of ability to utilize those bonds.

[lemonadeandlanguages]

Current Projects

I was tagged by @folatefangirl, thanks! :)

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on: writing, art, gifsets, whatever.

I don’t usually talk about my (mostly writing) projects, but I’ve been wanting to, so this is great :D

The Ardeval Story

Status: Im halfway thru the planning stages

Counts: The word document say nearly 2500 words, but its a probbaly a lot more if I factor in all the loose papers Ive written ideas on in the past three years

Blurb: The underground city of Ardeval is thrown into chaos when the mayor’s daughter vanishes one night. Her best friend is accused of kidnapping and must find her to prove her innocence.

Notes: Im terrible at summarizing my stories lol Ive been working on this story since grade 11 and im not closer to actually writing it than i was back then smh

The Sleeping Beauty Story

Status: I just started this one about a month ago, so it’s still pretty green

Counts: 650 words on the planning document

Blurb: The inhabitants of an nearly-isolated city have been immortal for the past 500 years due to a curse that fell on them when their princess was put in a magical coma. But when one of the castle guards decides to visit her bedchamber and accidentally wakes her up, breaking the curse, she has to to hide to the rest of the city the fact that they are no longer immortal.

Notes: I’ve been wanting to do a Sleeping Beauty story since Grade 10 but Ive only just found a satisfactory twist on the tale, so even if the idea is waaay old, im considering it a new project :)

Other non-writing projects

- studying languages

Status: German is advancing slowly, I’m mostly working on vocabulary atm; Galician is barely advancing, but im focusing on verbs

Notes: I said I’d study over the summer, but I’ve barely done anything :’) I feel like I should prioritize German because I’m less advanced in it and I will be taking classes again in the fall and I can’t fall behind too much (the classes are already at a much higher level than Id like)

- drawing

Status: I mostly do it in my free time, but even then, I havent gotten much done

Notes: I want to focus on drawing clothes and designing outfits, but Ive also been working on sketches for my stories’ characters, and tbh im not satisfied with any of the drawings

- reading my giant book pile

Status: Out of all my recently (and not-so-recently) bought books, Ive read like four. I also read one library book, but I still have another seven piled up, and who knows how many other books that I actually own I havent read yet. My book pile is probably less than 25% read...

Notes: I keep wanting to reread old books instead of the new ones ugh

- learning how to program

Status: I started this week, so im still doing really basic things

Notes: It’s kinda boring and hard, because my brother (whos teaching me) goes thru the stuff too quickly and it exhausts me, but Im completely unable to understand the stuff without him so I cant go at my own pace

The only thing Ive learnt from doing this is that Im a horribly lazy person that doesn’t do anything T.T maybe i should go work on some of that stuff now

I tag @mynameisgoliath, @langblog, @bonbonlanguage, @essabb, @how-does-one-username, @rire-aimer and anyone else who wants to do it to talk about their projects/stuff they’re doing! :)

[askghostcrawler]

“Recently, you suggested that you have interest in exploring "RPGs with really rich combat." I was wondering which games (from present and past) really exemplify what you mean by "really rich combat." “

A lot of RPGs have what I would consider shallow combat systems. Their development teams focus a lot on world building or storytelling or even just cranking out a lot of content in terms of things to fight and stuff to loot. But the interactions you’re having during a battle aren’t always interesting.

When designers are talking about depth, we’re usually talking about there being multiple solutions to a problem. In combat that could mean anything from the mage handles the encounter in a way that’s different from the fighter, or it could mean that axes hit harder or are slower than swords, or that debuffing enemies is as useful as just nuking them.

Tuning is definitely an issue here, and single player RPGs are often just not as tuned as well as multiplayer games. Balance is super important for anything multiplayer, but if some options are strictly superior to others in a single-player game, players don’t mind as much. Think about all the games you’ve played where you thought about casting a spell or using an item, but got lazy and just kind of brute-forced by auto attacking or sword clicking through the bad guy.

One of the big challenges with more modern games is that you may not have the time or game controls to make those decisions. Old school RPGs tended to be both party-based and turned-based. So you were issuing commands to a group and had time to page through the different characters. In real time those controls just don’t exist, so you either have to be really good at RTS-level micromanagement, or the commands you issue have to be really simple, or what a lot of developers do is just take party control away from you and let you control one character and hope the party AI isn’t too stupid. 

I think there are ways to have a party-based game with real time controls. I just don’t think developers have had a ton of motivation to solve those problems so far.

I also don’t think it’s strictly true that you must have a party under your control, but that just means the decisions you’re making for your main character need to be even more interesting. Are there combos you need to execute? Are there different tactics to use depending on the type and number of enemies? Is the dual wield build really competitive with the crossbow build, or is dual wield just a noob trap?

Another thing that RPGs have moved away from, in terms of combat, is interesting combat spaces. Level design is a *science* for shooters because level design has such an impact on the experience (and battles tend to be really short without terrain in between). But a lot of RPGs use level design for setting ambiance or showing you cool art, not for creating situations where you really pay attention to the battlefield: cover, elevation, flanking, destructible environments, holes in the floor, vines to swing on, moving water, whatever.

Again, I’m not saying any game in which you can’t chop the chandelier and have it fall on bad guys is a shitty game. I’m just saying that combat has more depth when the player looks at the environment and asks herself how she can use that terrain to her advantage.

Older games like Final Fantasy 6 or Chrono Trigger do have interesting combat decisions, at least when you aren’t over-leveled, which is hard not to do once you know those games. Characters have different abilities and strengths and weaknesses. You have to pay attention to things like debuffs and vulnerabilities and not just mouse click your way through a fight. Final Fantasy Tactics is often cited as a genre-leader here, though it was almost more of a battlefield tactics game than an RPG. The Zelda games have usually done a great job of marrying precise clicking with using the right tool for the job (though they don’t often give you multiple ways to solve a problem).

What I want to make (or at least play because I’m not sure I’ll ever get around to making it), a game with the world building and storytelling aesthetic of the Witcher or Dragon Age, with the near limitless combat of something like Diablo, but with challenging combat that forces you to pay attention, the way you have to pay attention in Dark Souls or League of Legends. You’re almost always a few seconds away from death in Dark Souls, but it’s almost always your fault.

I don’t think that’s an unrealistic goal. Making an MMO is much harder. :) You just need a dev team that values combat above dialogue trees or providing a total sandbox experience or lots of cutscenes or the other things that teams tend to prioritize these days. All of those things are cool. They’re just not as cool to me personally (and I bet a lot of players) as responsive, deep, interesting fights. 

1/5/2017

[sarahburness]

8 Ways Creativity Helps Us Connect with Ourselves and Get What We Need

“A creative life is an amplified life.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

When I look back at my life, I recognize that some of the most pivotal moments revolved around creativity and self-expression.

As a kid, that meant community theater. My first solo was “Part of Your World,” from The Little Mermaid. Though I felt incredibly insecure in my green spandex pant-fins as a fairly thick twelve-year old, I was able to tune that out when I made my way center stage.

It was just me, my heart, my voice, and the spotlight. And that song felt written for me, as I felt like an outsider pretty much everywhere at that time in my life.

Around the same time I found my passion for writing—my first foray into the world of self-help, actually. To deal with bullying at school and a difficult home life, I began writing myself a series of motivational essays, little things to boost my self-esteem in a world that seemed to want to tear it down.

It was fairly mortifying when I noticed the boys huddled in the cafeteria, reading from my well-worn spiral notebook, which they had stolen from my backpack. But in retrospect, I wonder if maybe one of them secretly benefitted from something I had written. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who felt lost and insecure.

Then there was the time after college, more accurately when I should have been finishing my final semester, but instead was in a three-month residential program for people with eating disorders.

My favorite part of the program was art therapy. Though I drew myself, on day one, as a skeletal body curled up in a trash bag of vomit, I left that program with a life-size painting of my healthier self, standing tall and proud, with expansive wings. My art literally reflected my internal transformation.

I have countless stories like these—times when creativity and self-expression helped me make sense of the world, process feelings that might have otherwise festered within, and heal from pains that could easily have consumed me.

I imagine we all do, if not in recent years, then from childhood and adolescence, before the stresses and responsibilities of adulthood began consuming our thoughts and our lives.

Maybe you felt free and alive in a garage band, surrounded by a tribe of misfits, just like you, who came to feel like home. Or perhaps you made jewelry and found a meditative state of bliss that deepened with each bead strung.

You might think you’ve never been creative, perhaps because you never done anything artsy. But odds are, if you look back, you’ll find something you once brought into the world that couldn’t have been there without you—a well-constructed debate in a class that excited you, a detailed pitch for a business idea that inspired you, or even something far simpler, like a particularly clever Halloween costume.

But if you’re anything like me, you haven’t always prioritized creating and expressing yourself. These things may seem like luxuries in a world full of deadlines, debt, and ever-mounting obligations.

Or, perhaps they just don’t seem like appealing options when you could far more easily zone out with Netflix, mindless Facebook scrolling, or a six-pack that’s been calling from your fridge.

I totally get that. I can’t tell you how many nights I distracted or numbed myself because I felt far too wound up to sketch, or color, or write.

Anything creative would have required me to connect with myself, and many times I’ve preferred to escape myself. So I wouldn’t have to listen to what my inner voice was saying and then either act on it or acknowledge I was too scared.

But we need to connect with ourselves. We need to hear the faint voice that’s screaming inside, trying to get our attention and tell us what we need. Otherwise we’re not really living. We’re just dragging our bodies from one place we don’t want to be to the next, waiting for moments when we can dull the pain of our frustration and discontent.

Creativity is the gateway to self-connection, and it’s the path to giving ourselves what we really need. Here’s how it can help us do just that.

1. Creativity can help pull us into the moment.

We have to be present to connect with ourselves, but often we’re caught up in a mental web of worries, regrets, and obsessive thoughts. Creativity has a way of cutting through all that.

Psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi popularized the idea of “flow” in his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. It’s that space when we’re fully immersed in the task at hand, the rest of the world somewhat blurred around us. That’s often what creativity does for us.

I think it’s no coincidence that I first learned how to crochet afghans in that residential treatment center for eating disorders I mentioned before. We weren’t just trying to keep our weakened, fragile bodies warm, though that was a pleasant side effect. We were finding freedom from our thoughts with the meditative experience of looping yarn, row by row.

Whether you’re writing, painting, cooking, or doing something I don’t even know to reference, creativity often pulls you into the now, where you come to face to face with your truest self.

2. Creativity helps us access, process, and express feelings we may otherwise have stuffed down.

When you’re truly dialed in to your present moment experience, creating something from that space of awareness, illusions have a way of melting away. You’re not just creating something pretty or interesting; you’re connecting with a piece of your heart.

This might mean literally writing about your feelings, or it might mean giving visual form to something you couldn’t put into words—a color or scribble that represents an emotion, for example.

I suspect this is why the Wreck This Journal series has been so popular. It’s creation through destruction, and an outlet for the “negative” emotions so many us have been taught to label as bad. Those feelings don’t just go away because we resist them. They need to be somehow processed.

It’s only when we process and express our feelings that we’re able to fully understand what’s going on inside of ourselves, and create space to discover what we need—whether that pertains to our work, our relationships, or any other aspect of our lives.

3. Creativity can help us heal from the past.

I recently found a study that made a correlation between having survived a difficult childhood and being intensely creative. The researchers wondered why mental health disorders were so common in the performing arts, and they conducted this research to better understand the link.

This study was fairly limited in scope, but still, it aligns with what I’ve long suspected: When we’ve experienced neglect, abuse, or trauma, and carry intense shame or anxiety, we may feel a strong pull toward the arts, since this gives us a space to “express all that is human,” as psychologist Paula Thompson put it.

In other words, expressive arts can help us make sense of and make peace with our pain.

As a writer, I can vouch for this, as it’s incredibly cathartic to create a character who’s known a pain you’ve felt before, and not only express what it felt like for you, but also explore what it might have felt like for the person who hurt you. This was certainly my experience in writing my first screenplay.

Creating these kinds of worlds, characters, and scenes can help us empathize with people who’ve wronged us, better understand what shaped them, and ultimately, heal and move on.

4. Creativity is fueled by curiosity—and curiosity is the key to developing self-awareness.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear defines creativity as “choosing the path of curiosity instead of fear.”

When we explore something though our creative work—an idea, a feeling, a topic—that’s really what we’re doing. We’re identifying something that interests us, following our curiosity, and creating something based on what we’ve discovered.

Strengthening this muscle of following curiosity can help us develop a greater sense of self-awareness. We start to ask ourselves the right questions (as opposed to ones that never yield useful or empowering answers), like: Why do I hold this belief? Where did it come from? How does it serve me? What would serve me better?

And simply through the process of creating, we learn about ourselves. I believe we essentially recreate ourselves with everything we create.

5. Creativity is just for us, at least to start.

The world requires a lot from us. Not only do other people have expectations and needs, they also have ideas of who we are or who we should be. This can make it awfully challenging to connect with what feels true and right for us—especially since who we are is always evolving.

For a long time, I felt a pang of inner conflict whenever I thought about evolving beyond my role here on the site. I felt a deeply embedded sense of identity—I’m Lori, a self-help author—and I almost felt afraid of allowing myself to see who else I could be.

I was most scared of exploring possibilities publicly, since that would open me to other peoples’ opinions and judgments. And given that I was in a confusing, uncertain space, I felt highly susceptible to outside influence.

But creativity was just for me. When I was coloring in one of my many adult coloring books, sketching, and working on my screenplay, I could tune everyone and everything else out, and simply focus on my own experience and inner voice.

I think we all need that, especially in a culture that compels us to constantly seek external validation and third-party opinions on our every move, through social media.

We need those moments of self-reflection and self-discovery that no one else can weigh in on or judge. This is how we learn who want to be and what really need to do for our happiness and well-being.

6. Creativity helps peel away layers of stress and anxiety to reveal the peace underneath.

We often say, “I have anxiety” or “I’m so stressed,” as if those things are actually part of who we are. But the truth is we experience anxiety and stress, and underneath there is a calm clarity, like the stillness below raging waves in the sea.

Creative practices give us a positive outlet for our energy and attention. When we’re doodling or woodworking or doing anything with our hands, we’re focusing on something aside from what’s wrong in our life or what might go wrong in the future. We’re essentially giving our brain a break from reliving pain or trying to avoid it.

When we create that relief for ourselves, we’re able to connect with who we truly are, underneath all the layers of fear and conditioning. It’s only by accessing this space of calm clarity that we can make choices that feel right for us.

7. Creativity can help boost our confidence, which is essential to communicating what we need.

It’s all good and well to connect with ourselves and ascertain what we need, but we also need to be able to communicate that to other people—whether that means setting boundaries in our personal life or asking for a more challenging project at work.

When we work on creative projects—particularly when we complete them—we naturally boost our confidence. And that bleeds into other areas of our lives.

An old friend of mine changed careers a few years back and now works as a baker. She posts pictures of these amazing cakes on Facebook, and I’m always blown away to see her artistic talent. These are literally edible works of art.

For a long time she only posted pictures, but she recently started posting videos showing her process. And it seems to me that this experience of creating, being seen, and feeling proud of her work has given her the boost necessary to share even more of herself.

Sharing ourselves, sharing our thoughts, sharing our wants and needs—it all goes hand in hand.

8. Creativity reminds us we’re more than what we accomplish.

We live in a world that sends a pretty conflicting message—it’s all about the journey, but hurry up and do something important so you can prove you matter and make a name for yourself.

We understand, intellectually, that life is always a path, not simply a destination, but it’s hard to escape the nagging suspicion that we haven’t arrived at enough places. That we need to do more, accomplish more, earn more, be more. Because who we are isn’t enough.

Creativity is, by definition, about the process. Sure, it’s great to create something that sells and see that your work impacts other people. But the squeeze isn’t just about the juice.

We gain so much through the act of creating—presence, self-expression, healing, self-awareness, time to ourselves, clarity, and confidence. But perhaps most importantly, we gain the ability to meet in ourselves in a moment, with the sole intention of expressing what’s in our hearts.

There’s something immensely freeing about knowing that this alone is a worthy goal. That we truly can create for the fun of it, for the love of it, because it makes us feel passionate and alive.

And when we feel passionate and alive, we forget for a moment that there’s anywhere else to get to—because for that time, there’s nothing to escape.

Perhaps that is the ultimate goal of connecting with ourselves. We meet ourselves so we can fully meet the present moment, and all the other people who inhabit it. So we can not just get through our days but really live them, and be available to give and receive love. A life fully lived, a self fully expressed, a heart fully open—I don’t know about you, but that’s all I really need.

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She’s also the author of Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and other books and co-founder of Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and redefine yourself. An avid film lover, she recently finished writing her first feature screenplay and would appreciate advice from anyone in the industry to help get this made. You can reach her at email (at) tinybuddha.com.

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