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mourning-again-in-america · 2 years

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it's hard for me not to feel broken

feels like everyone else is out there, doing stuff, building a life, making works

whereas i'm struggling to get through each day, not knowing if i'll get pulled into a whirlwind of emotions that i can't break through

what could i do? i could code, but what? for what? why? i don't have any personal projects anymore

i could write, but about what? anything i could say would be either offensive or anodyne, either something that shouldn't be said or is too obvious to say. there's non-fiction, but i'd need to research because what if i get things wrong? there's so much i know i don't know, and even more out there that i don't know that i don't know.

and greater still, who would even care? apparently some people appreciated my poorly-crafted post back during the incelscourse but that feeling still feels drowned out by the thousands of calls for grisly murder. apparently some people appreciated my al-nashiri post, but the only reblog i got on it was from an italian islamic extremist roleplay account, so why would it be worth doing so much research on a similar topic if it matters so little?

#whining #posts that i regret writing #social media is at it s worst when it feels like every follower you gain is another threat you have to manage #i want followers i just don't want followers who think that i should kill myself for being mildly in favor of the political culture of the #pre civil war democrats (minus the slave thing which yes i recognize is a huge thing to just say 'minus') but COMPARED TO THE WHIGS #even on this account i sometimes think 'is someone going to count the races of the pretty people i reblog? if i cared about that i could #probably affirmatively defend myself if i made sure that the underlying racial distribution of the people i reblog was more favorable to #minorities than is currently represented by the demographics of america but that probably wouldn't actually satisfy anyone with #an axe to grind on that topic so i shouldn't do that'#but man! it's a helluva thign to feel like i need to justify what i reblog like that!#reminds me of back when i'd put myself on trial in my head for liking 'problematic' media like rush's 2112 #and not being sufficiently favorable towards toni morrison

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agblend13 · 2 years

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Did you go to school to learn painting and color techniques? asking because your so amazing with drawing along with a vibrant color palette and i truly admire your work.

Thank you! Yes I did go to university for a while but they don't get any credit for my development, I learned most of my basic skills beforehand. My mom is a classically trained artist and it was with her that I learned life drawing. An influential moment in color theory came from a portfolio prep class I took when I was in high school -- the teacher stacked up a random pile of cardboard boxes in the middle of the room and had us each reach into a bag and blindly choose two colored pencils. We then had to assign one color for highlights and the other for shadows and sketch the boxes. I don't remember what colors I had but the point of the exercise, for example having to use a dark blue and dark green to create contrast and depth, was really interesting and fun.

Painting is something I've done all my life in a casual way, and I consider my current skill level to be self-taught as it has grown from making a decision as an adult to focus on painting, and basically start churning out pieces one after another. I don't think I'd be where I am as quickly though without those lessons in life drawing, and if anyone were to ask my advice on how to make their art on the page look like what's in their imagination I'd say first learn how to draw, on paper, with graphite, from a physical still life. Many self taught artists who want to create exciting fantastical works may want to skip this step because it's quite tedious (to me at least) and having an experienced teacher is pretty important, but the point of these lessons is very specifically to train your eyes, brain, and hand to communicate with one another in the process of translating a three dimensional object into a two dimensional illusion. The technical aspects of acrylic painting can be picked up by watching youtube videos and reading some tips while just painting and painting until you figure out the steps to get the effect you like. But I can't count the number of times I've been grateful for those drawing lessons, especially for painting in a lowbrow pop-surreal style.

Lastly, to get back to the color part I can't say I've memorized many technical facts about color theory, I largely feel my way through a painting. After a while you tend to remember which color combinations are pleasing to your own art style, and one thing I love about acrylics is how easy it is to repaint an area if you decide you don't like a color combination. Anyone who wants to see more of my art inspiration, color palettes, and painting references should check out my Pinterest!

pinterest.com/agblend13

✿ Anka ☻

#the punchline to learning all the drawing before college #was thst i didnt realize i didnt need to. tjey would have taught me in college...#my mom grew up in soviet russia. university was free but it was merit based: you had to prove you were already good at art to get in.#fast forward to my own artistic aspirations in america and she started me on my portfolio prep to prove to admissions i was good at art.#and of course i did it because i wanted to get into art school! i remember being legitimately surprised #that i had classmates who could barely draw. and i sont say that to be mean at all and i was NOT the best artist by far #its just that i was convinced you had to prove artistic merit to get into art school #when in the usa its more like you need to prove you have artistic ENTHUSIASM.#i swear the puzzle pieces didnt fit until i was in my mid 20s and realized... oh my god...#my moms education made us think it would be the same here... and no one ever told me othwrwise #... and actually people probably assumed i just Wanted to be good at art #rather than thinking there was no way id get in without technical skill.#inbox #ask #anonymous #art life #art tips #behind the scenes

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desperatepleasures · 2 years

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me trying to figure out when to consider wolfram an Adult for archive warning purposes

#kkm tag #ok so he's 82 #which is like 16 or so in human years #16 is considered an adult in shinmakoku BUT as a human from america i consider 18 age of adulthood #but to make matters worse. when wolfram was 16 (and legally declared an adult) he was.... developmentally a 10yo kid #so we really cant use the shinma coming of age ceremony as a marker for adulthood either way #SO. if a fic takes place when yuuri is 18 #wolfram would be like...85 #which would put him no older than 17 developmentally #now if we take into account variation in aging rates for mazoku #then it all becomes Worse #bc my inbred bby has a very Pure bloodline. and that tends to slow down aging a little more #now is there something to be said for the maturity that comes from being a teenager for decades instead of years? perhaps #like when you compare him to yuuri. wolf's got his shit figured out WAY more than yuuri does #and his age is probably part of that #BUT then is the age gap weird the other way around #like is it weird for a actually-82 sixteen to to date an actual 16yo?#they're physically the same age #and you KNOW my boy wolf still got some frontal lobe development left #so i wouldnt compare wolf to an Actual Adult like for example gwendal #anyway this is my train stop so ill see yall later!

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bootleg-nessie · 7 months

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Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are

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