#i mean the only person helping me is also struggling with the same shit

[jade-curtiss]

Wow I can't believe I woke up in time so I can have the delightful experience of going waste my time with service canada. It will be great.

[chisatowo]

Y'know bandori talks a lot about Moca and Ran's ~deep bond~ and stuff which like they do have but one thing I find interesting is that despite them being described as being able to easily read eachother like a book, Tomoe seems to be a lot better at reading Moca than Ran is. Obviously we see this to a cartoonish degree in the most recent aglow event, but like even before Tomoe just seems to have a surprisingly good sense for Moca's thoughts and feelings. Idk, I just think it's neat that Tomoe and Moca can have that kind of bond without it being as romantic as with Moca and Ran. The idea that romantic partners get eachother better than anyone else has always bugged me, so while it's small and idk how intentional it even is I love Tomoe and Moca's friendship a lot because of it. And also because they're very silly and goofy.

[diremoone]

“make me (yours).” | r. sukuna

w — [ minors do not interact ] modern! AU, hints of sugar daddy vibes ;), older man/younger woman, age gap, everyone is above 20+ and legal age, male masturbation, Sukuna imagining seggs positions and shit like that, Sukuna is around 36 & Reader is around 22/23, tbh sukuna being a comfort character rn. jjk after 235? it’s non-canon lmao

a/n: this is the most I’ve ever written that’s sinful I’m not used to this (it’s been so damn long since i have written anything remotely sinful omfg) and it’s not even that much I’m so embarrassed y’all HELP— also part two depends on you guys and any ideas you want to send in through my ask box :3

part one | part two

[ first divider by @/benkeibear, the second by @/cafekitsune ]

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who meets you through his younger brother, who’s a few years older than you. You’ve been in Japan for a few years now, that much he knows, attending the same school his little brother got into. And now he’s determined to find out everything about you.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who’s so fucking glad you can speak Japanese. He knows English, yes, but he prefers it when you speak his native tongue, because he fucking loves your accent and gets off on it. It’s exotic — you’re exotic — and he can’t help the temptation of wanting you and more.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who knows to keep his smug smirk into himself when his little brother finally mans up and finally introduces you to him one day when he comes home to work on a project that you’re helping him with. And he knows that Yuuji knows about the look on his face. Because he knows his history with women. Yuuji knows he’s made a mistake introducing you to each other.

Or so he thinks.

Sukuna is thoroughly amused by you, although there are times where he becomes frustrated. You’re not an easy case to crack, and not easy to tease and rile up. Perhaps that’s the part of you that’s from accelerated maturity.

You’re smarter than the average person, even the people slightly above average. You’re intellectually and psychologically challenging and he very much likes it. It’s been a long time since he’s had the kind of stimulation you’ve brought him. Since his and Yuuji’s father passed away.

He watches from a distance as you and his brother go over notes and work and crack jokes that put a pretty smile on your face. He can’t hear your laughter from where he stands, but he’s positive it’s as lovely as your smile.

As for you, you know you’re being watched. You look to the tall man out of your peripheral vision and halt rolling your eyes.

“Your brother is never subtle, is he?”

Yuuji sighs heavily. “Never.”

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who hates the fact he can’t see you more often. So he digs and digs and then finds out about some old family debts and a couple things for medical expenses he can easily pay off to hold over your head, to use as a means to be something akin to a sugar daddy so he can order you around and see you whenever he wants to.

And it comes as no surprise to him when he mentions it the next time his brother brings you over for schoolwork that you’re startled by him finding out. He only mentions it after Yuuji has fallen asleep on the couch. You give him the wide-eyed expression of shock, probably wondering how he found out about it.

But unlike his expectations, you don’t ask how he knows. you don’t get embarrassed and try to hush it away with the option of using yourself as his favor. You shrug, going a little more into depth and detail about the financial struggle that’s been kept under wraps for several good years.

Sukuna himself is surprised in return, by both you and the way he sits down for you — to listen to you.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna, who finds out that even though you see him as super attractive, you’re not as swayed by his flirting and all of his advances like many women and young women your age are. Yes, you know he’s super fucking stupidly hot, and yes you’ve more than likely thought about certain things while in bed under the sheets, but you’ve got more important things to prioritize than hot men. Which he applauds you for just as much as he despises it. It makes him frustrated, because he’s attracted to you and wants you in his bed so bad; because it should be so fucking easy like it has been with other women. But you’re not the same, and while his lust is as prominent as ever in his older age, he also has the desire for something more than just a fling.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who manages to get ahold of your schedule through his baby brother (who’s prepping for your broken heart) and asks you out, setting up a date for when he knows you’re free. He much enjoys the look on your face when he brings up the date he’s set, knowing you’re wondering about how he managed to nail the exact day you’re free for the day he’s set for the outing. He enjoys it even further when you quickly deduce how he knows about it.

Goddamn, he loves a sharp woman.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna, who orders you a dress to be made that’s a mix of beautiful deep crimson and black, one that shines but doesn’t shine too much to glare at people eyes. He drums his fingers against his desk in his home office as he sees the notification pop up on his phone that the item has been delivered.

But as usual, you surprise him. You don’t end up wearing the dress he’s made, but something completely different. You arrive to the restaurant he’s bought out for the night in a deep silver-gray tux, hair styled in a simple manner with minimal makeup that he knows you don’t need because he’s already seen and fallen for your natural looks anyway.

Sukuna hates you. He doesn’t, but he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with the feelings he has. You’re so much younger than him, but holy fuck has it been so long since he’s been given any sort of challenge or stimuli, especially from a woman. He both hates and is glad you’re not easy. And it only fuels his drive to get you to give yourself to him.

You drive him up a damn wall.

He’s been in the shower for at least forty minutes, alternating between hot and cold every five minutes. Forty minutes and the painful hard on he’s had all morning still hasn’t gone away.

Sukuna leans his head forward against the wall and cusses at himself. His hand isn’t enough, but there’s some relief as he starts leisurely pumping his shaft. He cusses and swears worse than a sailor as he starts off slow, imagination running wild (at what could be).

He wants you so fucking bad. He wants you on your knees in front of him; on the soft carpet because no way is he going to let his pretty woman have sore knees while taking his monstrous dick down her throat.

He wants to bury his face between your legs and make you cum so much and so hard you see fucking galaxies, then let you catch your breath just barely enough before he uses your juices as lubricant and permanently molds your pussy to the shape of his fat cock.

He wants your legs over his shoulders as you throw your head back and moan as he fucks your better than anyone ever has and ever will. He wants to see a white ring around his cock as he pumps himself in and out of you like he’s a starved man. And that he is. For you, anyway.

Sukuna just knows your pussy is so fucking warm. He’ll bet his dick that you’ll have the tightest pussy he’s ever going to have. The best he’s ever going to have.

His hand pumps his shaft faster and faster, gripping it harder as he nears climax. His massive cock aches painfully, desperate to cum. Fucking hell… He wants you so bad, underneath him, or on your knees, calling him by whatever pet name or name from whatever kink you might have.

Forbid everything if you call him ‘Daddy’ or ‘Master’. Game fucking over.

He doesn’t even care if you have those kinds kinks or not. He just wants the pretty girl that’s done more than caught his attention under him as he makes her feel pleasure that only he can provide.

But the selfish part of him can’t help but hear you call out those names in his head. And that’s what does it.

Sukuna’s thighs and back muscles flex almost painfully as his balls draw up and cums. He tosses his head back, the feeling of his load spurting from the tip making him groan in pleasure. He cums so hard he feels like he’s about to keel over.

“Fuck yeah…” he pants, oxygen finally catching up to his lungs’ need.

But now he’s disappointed and just a little pissed off. Because the cum on the wall shouldn’t be there. It should be on or in you. And he doesn’t like that.

And as he rewashes himself, his jaw clenches, can’t help but thinking determinedly he’s going to change things between the two of you.

Come hell or high fucking water.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who’s finally shifted the relationship to being something else. Although you can’t tell what it is. The first date he takes you on is to break the ice, getting to know you better as a person. It’s also to see if you’d fuck him, but he knows you’ve got stronger convictions than the women he’s used to.

He takes you on a second date, this time in more casual clothes on a drive to a house he’s set up to have dinner and stargaze at.

He gets to tell you he’s paid off your family’s old debts now, relieved them of the medical bills and taxes that haven’t been paid yet. But it backfires, and now he’s left to make you understand that it wasn’t to make you feel beholden to him in any manner, like owing debt to the mafia.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna needs you to understand that despite how much he wants to fuck you, it’s more than just because he finds you attractive and wants to satisfy his dick. He wants you to know you’re not temporary; he doesn’t see you as a quick fix to his primal needs.

Not at all.

You’re the long term fix to his primal needs. And perhaps the only one he’s going to need ever again. And once the expression of understanding crosses your face, he goes to cradle the back of your head and hungrily slots his lips on yours. He may not get to take all your clothes off right now, but he’s happy with his results tonight.

Besides, he knows he’ll get you into his bed with a shiny diamond ring on your left hand eventually.

wheeeew im gonna go take a cold bath

@vagabond-umlaut here’s ur man babe pls enjoy.

& everyone pls feel free to send in more ideas for this series if you want im having fun with this lmao

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: provocative dancing, slight Sam x Reader, jealous Dean

Chapter Word Count: 4211

—-MDNI—-

A/N: aaaaahhhhhhhh sorry this one took ages. I suddenly had a bunch of personal things going on so I struggled to find the time. Also this chapter is wild, I��m so sorry for the complete train wreck that it is. I just keep writing without questioning it too much. But yeah same as always pls let me know of any errors as I am the only one who proof reads this shit.

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Please read the below first:

Prologue Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6 Chapter 7

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 8 - Part 1

Morning soon rolled around; my alarm waking me from my deep dreamless sleep, eyes wearily blinking open as I stared blankly at the old ceiling. Turning off the repetitive beeping, I flung back the covers and climbed out of bed, pacing to the bathroom to freshen up before heading down to breakfast. I was in desperate need of a laundry day as I was down to my last couple of clean items: a cropped black tank top that said ‘Singers Salvage Yard’ across the front in old cracked and over washed lettering, paired with a short denim skirt with frayed edges. It was an a-line fit a long time ago, but as I got older and my figure changed it just got tighter and shorter. I don’t even know why I still have the thing. Paired with my boots and some comfy socks poking over the top of them, I looked like I should be getting paid to wash cars. I grimaced, knowing full well that Dean was going to make a comment.

Dean.

My mind raced back to last night with his parted lips and black lustful eyes - I couldn’t tell if he wanted to push me against a wall or be at my mercy, it was hard to say. Both sounded spectacular.

I strode into the central study room where the boys did all their research, looking for my flannel when I noticed a figure out of the corner of my eye. Instinct took over and I grabbed the nearest item to me - a lamp from the middle of the table - and held it up like a bat, ready to swing. The man flinched but held up his hands, an apologetic expression on his ruggedly handsome face.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” his voice was monotone despite his peaceful words.

“Who the fuck are you?!”

“CAS!” Suddenly Deans voice rang through the open room and we both spun to see him standing where I had just walked in, Sam following behind.

“Dean I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle her, I wasn’t expecting you to have visitors,” this Cas guy spoke, his tone forever unchanging.

“This is (Y/n), Bobby’s niece. She’s staying with us for a while to help with research,” he explained, before turning to me and giving me a stern look, holding his hand out.

“(Y/n) give me the lamp.”

I did as he asked, placing the cool metal into his palm as he returned it to the table. We shared a look for a second and I was unsure of the meaning behind it - was he mad about me almost bludgeoning his friend? Was it because I was going to use a lamp of all things? Or was it about last night, and the fact I left him hanging? Who knows, but I’m sure I’ll hear about it later. Dean was about to turn away when the monotone voice of Cas spoke up.

“I’m sorry (Y/n), please forgive me for startling you. Although…” he paused, looking me up and down and then almost knowingly between myself and Dean, “I have personally been caught off guard here as well - I was unaware that Dean was involved with someone.”

“Excuse me?” I blinked up at Cas, getting ready to snatch that lamp back. I saw Dean pinch the bridge of his nose and mutter an ‘oh boy’ under his breath.

“You’re sexual endeavours with Dean,” Cas looked at me like I was the one missing something here. Clearly I am. Cas continued, “you’ve been intimate, have you not? This means that you are a couple from what I’ve learned.” Suddenly his eyes went wide and he looked straight at Dean.

“Or is this a pizza man situation?”

“CAS STOP TALKING,” Dean bellowed, embarrassment creeping across his face. I’m assuming he’s not used to that emotion as he was getting very frustrated. I couldn’t help but stand there in disbelief.

“How the actual FUCK do you know about me and Dean after saying that you weren’t aware of me even being here before you arrived?”

“He can smell it,” Dean said quietly, arms now crossed over his chest.

“What?”

“He can smell… me… on you,” as the words left his lips, his eyes locked with mine for a split second sending a jolt down my spine and hair prickling on my skin. I tore my eyes away from him and looked back at Cas.

“So wait, this weirdo can smell that I slept in one of Deans T-shirts last night?”

“You slept in one of his shirts?” Sam asked, piping up for the first time since this conversation started. Dean grinned like the cat that got the cream, embarrassment dissipating for a second.

“Yeah, she did.”

“Hmmm,” Cas mumbled, “No it’s not just that… It’s stronger, like there is part of Dean in her somehow. Or at least there was; not so much anymore.”

My eyes went as wide as the moon and my cheeks felt like they’d been set on fire.

“OH MY GOD,” I hid my face in my hands, wanting the ground to swallow me up. Whilst I tried to hide my entire existence, Dean cackled, leaving Sam confused.

“I don’t get it, what’s going on?” He asked, looking between all three of us. I couldn’t say a word through the white hot embarrassment, which left Dean to explain. He turned and looked Sam dead in the eye.

“You know how much I love pie, Sam,” he paused to see if Sam was catching on, which he wasn’t so Dean continued. “All sorts of pie. Like, uh, apple pie, cherry pie… cream pie…” Sam’s eyes shot open as wide as they could and he almost went as red as me.

“Nope!” He declared, promptly spinning on his heel and leaving. Cas looked confused.

“I smell no pie here.”

“Never mind, Cas,” Dean patted him on the shoulder before urging him to catch up with Sam who I’m assuming is in the kitchen by now. When it was just Dean and I left I peered at him through my fingers, my face still burning up.

“Dean what the fuck just happened?!”

He tried to suppress his laughter, explaining that Cas was in fact ‘Castiel’ and an Angel of the Lord, which explained his rigid behaviour and a weirdly strong set of senses.

“Why didn’t you butt in and explain who he was before everything got so embarrassing!”

“To be honest it was all pretty hilarious.”

“No it wasn’t! That was NOT an enjoyable moment!”

“Ok I’m sorry,” Dean paused, looking down at me with softer eyes, a slight smile still on his lips. He stepped closer and I pushed on his chest.

“You better be! You owe me big time for that one Winchester.”

He grinned as the furious redness on my face simmered down, just leaving a pink glow on my cheeks.

“Ok ok! Look let's just go and get some breakfast and put this behind us,” he put his hand on the small of my back, urging me towards the kitchen. I hummed, walking with him. There were a few moments of silence as we made our way down before he suddenly spoke up again.

“Did you know that he once smelt a bladder infection on a dead guy?”

*

Breakfast was uneventful. I was unable to make eye contact with Castiel, and it seemed that Sam was unable to make eye contact with me. Dean however was completely unphased. Once we were all finished and I’d cleared everything away I made my way to my room, grabbed my dirty clothes and then headed to the laundry room - today was going to be a practical one as I officially had nothing else to wear. Upon arriving I couldn’t help but grimace; a mountain of mens clothes covered in mud, blood and black goop sat in the middle of the floor by the washers.

“Gross…” I winced, the smell of dirt and iron filling my nose as I got closer and poked the pile with a pipe I found off to the side. I half expected the mass of clothes to sprout legs and walk off. The boys could probably find lore on the thing with how long its been sitting here. I huffed, scooping my hair into a high ponytail before shoving a bunch of my washing in a machine and turning it on before returning for face the Winchesters laundry. I can’t leave it here, that goes against everything clean and hygienic that I stand for. I could burn it? They would definitely complain about having to replace all the plaid shirts. Should I sort it or just hope for the best? Do I check the pockets? Knowing all the crap they carry around, I should definitely check the pockets before a load of bullets or a hex bag goes through one of the machines. I set to work, sorting out colours, blacks and whites - unable to differentiate between lights and darks at times - and search every pocket as I go. The amount of women’s phone numbers I find on napkins and receipts is ridiculous. I can’t help but feel a little deflated, knowing I’m probably just a name on Deans list. I put them to the side in a pile, keeping them separate from the numbers from Sam’s pockets. I load up another machine and turn it on, picking up the stacks of numbers and leaving the room.

I find the boys sitting in their usual places at the tables, surrounded by piles of books and files. Castiel was nowhere to be seen. I walk up to them and slide the collection of phone numbers over to them.

“I thought you might want to keep these,” I said, not understanding the tone in my own voice. They both took a few seconds to realise what it was that I was handing them and they both responded in an abashed manner, shooting each other a knowing look before staring at the accumulation of digits, not once making eye contact with me. Sam nodded a quick ‘thank you’ before I turned to leave, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him crumple them up and throw them away in a carrier bag on the floor next to him. At the same time, I caught Dean shoving his collection into his jacket pocket, which was hung on the back of his chair. I hastened my actions and turned away quicker, not wanting to have the knowledge that he was keeping them. A pang of something shot through my chest, and I couldn’t tell if it was jealousy, sadness, rage or self pity. Whatever it was, I needed to get the fuck away from Dean.

*

A few hours passed and I was still sorting laundry. My clothes were officially clean and dry and away in my room, however the task at hand was now the clothes belonging to the Winchester boys. I was a few minutes away from the final load of washing being dry, and I’d managed to arrange the clothing into piles of ‘definitely Sam’ and ‘definitely Dean’, with a ‘really not sure’ pile in the middle. The jeans were easy enough to tell apart and due to Deans T-shirt I wore to bed last night, I now knew that he wore a slightly larger shirt size than his younger brother. I guess he had bigger shoulders, despite Sam being taller. My train of thought snapped as I suddenly heard a door slam upstairs and a female voice call out. I recognised the voice immediately. I stopped everything I was doing and headed upstairs, my feet carrying me with purpose as I reached the study room; Sam and Dean also emerging from another corridor.

“Charlie!” Dean beamed at her, going to give her a hug before I caught up to them and shoved him out the way.

“Don’t you EVER abandon me again like that,” I said, embracing her tight. “I’m fucking annoyed at you…. But I’m glad you’re here. These guys are like wild animals.” She patted my hair softly before I stepped back and she had an apologetic look on her face.

“I knooowwww I’m sorry! But you were in such a slump I really had to do something. Plus these guys really needed whipping into shape,” she spoke the second half of her sentence quieter and we both peered at the boys, fully aware that they could hear every word we were saying.

“Anyway!” She exclaimed, moving away and plopping her backpack onto the nearest table, “I think I have a case for you guys…” her voice was excited but the way her expression changed when she looked from the boys to me was slightly concerning. Sam seemed to pick up on this too.

“That’s great, but what’s the catch?” He asked. Charlie bit her lip and looked between the boys and me again.

“It’s in a strip club and we will need (Y/n) as bait.”

“What?!” Both me and Sam spoke up at the same time, and all that Dean could muster was a huge grin.

“I’m gonna need more details than that Charlie,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Right, yes, I probably should have started with the other details. Anyway, I’m pretty sure this club is run by a bunch of vamps, using girls as bait to lure in unsuspecting men to feed on in the private rooms.” The brothers nodded, like they’d seen this sort of thing before. “Anyway,” she continued, “I’ve had a hunch about this place for a while and did some digging, and it turns out that just last night they advertised a new position available and they want someone that looks just like (Y/n). This is a perfect way to take them down from the inside.” Charlie finished speaking and scanned our faces for any sort of response. I shrugged.

“Sure I’m in.”

“No way, we aren’t putting you in the line of fire like that,” Sam turned to me, a look of worry already smothering his features.

“I agree with Sam, this will be more dangerous than the last case. We’ll find another way to take them down,” Dean said, before he added in an almost snide tone “plus I bet you can’t even lap dance. How would you ever fit in?”

I scoffed.

“Fuck you, I can lap dance just fine.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.”

“I don’t need to prove shit to you.”

“Guys,” Sam held his hands up, “not right now.”

I turned back to Charlie.

“Look I’m in, can you make sure that no one else gets hired?” She grins, opening her backpack and pulling out her tablet.

“Absolutely!”

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Up Next:

Chapter 8 part 2

[stuckinapril]

u don’t have to answer this if u don’t want to or u feel u don’t have anything to say on it (obvi) but how do u deal with jealousy and comparison?

i genuinely just like my shit. i love how i look like, i love my stuff, i love where i come from, i love my family and friends, and i appreciate all the circumstances (good and bad) that have led me to be the person i am today. i've done a lot of esteemable things that have bolstered my confidence growing up, like getting an extremely hard degree and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone more than ever before. i treat other people w kindness and respect. i make sure to be a source of support rather than needless negativity. what people think of me (or have) doesn't get under my skin anymore, bc i've already proven my worth to myself. the fact of the matter is, i'll always hold my own opinion of myself higher than i do other people's opinions of me. i'm at a place where i just don't care that much. i've lost the need to correct people on their takes of me a long time ago.

my own happiness is king--everything else is secondary. if i like it, that's enough for me.

i find it pointless to compare myself to somebody else, simply because no two people have been dealt the exact same cards. i wouldn't compare a rose to a lily, so why should i be comparing myself to people who're--no matter who they are, no matter where they're from--never gonna be me? i'm me. the only person i should be comparing myself to is my past self. i am only in competition w myself. that is all.

as for jealousy, viewing people who have things i want as proof of concept has really helped. if another person gets a higher score on a test, i don't get jealous that they outdid me. i just view them as proof that i can get that score if i studied more efficiently. someone else's success isn't a lack of your own--it's just proof you can reach that success, even if the route doesn't look exactly the same, even if it might take longer.

contentment is entirely subjective. i've known wealthy people who're incredibly miserable. i've known people who struggle financially but could not be happier. other people's advantages don't rattle me, bc i don't care about them, bc i'm so eternally grateful for what i already have. i've also never really been that materialistic to begin with, so i've always understood that a person's worth lies in who they are rather than what they own (whether it be things, money, opportunities...). i can say w my whole chest that i wouldn't swap places w the most famous, most rich celebrity there is. i legitimately don't want to. i know that even if i have to work harder for things, i'll have more to say by the end of it all, and that in and of itself is so profound. not to mention the satisfaction from having challenged myself to get there--and i love a good challenge.

i've unleared the idea that i should view other women as competition. life is hard, we all struggle, we'll be living in a man's world for a long time, and it's just not worth the energy. yeah i'm ambitious, but not at the expense of other people. there's enough room for everyone. another woman's achievement doesn't mean less space for mine. we'll all be fine.

w all that said!! there are bad days. no human is just confident all the time, doesn't feel jealous all the time, doesn't compare themself all the time, doesn't let people's opinions get under their skin all the time. don't feel bad for doing it every now and then. it's natural and normal and just part of the human experience. nobody is perfect. just focus on you, view other people as inspiration rather than competition, and compare your progress to nobody else's but your own. it's been a game changer for me :)

[detshin]

uhm, how exactly will gosho develop the cousin thing in the manga.

I mean, I wouldn't know, honestly. What goes on in the mind of that man only he knows (and sometimes I doubt even that).

My opinion under the read more...

Personally, I've already stated many times that it's a trope I've liked and headcanoned for a long while now, and it's not like it's COMPLETELY out of the blue. The whole "they look the same" is a big factor, there have been references to them having some sort of "ancestor" in common, the Toichi and Yusaku tease was already there in the childhood case of Shinichi (where Toichi appeared and called Shinichi big bro btw 👀) and there was a time long ago that Gosho said something about it in an interview and that it was going to be talked about.

Anyway, point is, I could see this going in different ways. I would LOVE to see this being explored and dealt with nicely and seriously, but my hopes for that are low. He'll either just have it mentioned and never more explored or talked about (like with akemi and akai), or maybe in the mk manga now to talk about Toichi, I don't know?

Because honestly, I feel like people are getting hung up on the cousins thing and are forgetting about the confirmation of what we all have been fearing and it's that Toichi is indeed alive and both of Kaito's parents suck ass. And what scares me is the possibility of it being comedic or Kaito being okay with it or something when he deserves to have that be explored. He became a criminal because of it! And his parents know and aren't doing ANYTHING!

I've said this before, MK is not as shits and giggles as it seems. Story is pretty darn dark if you think about it. Kaito is one of if not THE most solitary (lonely) character of the dcmk universe. He is not as the fandom tends to represent him sometimes. That's not Kaito. The over the top, flirty, pompous one is Kid. It's a mask. A facade. Kaito is not like that, he is just a teen who is struggling to make real connections with people and who is terrified of being found out as a criminal and cannot for the life of him let people IN because they'll see right through him and whose "dead" dad taught him NOT TO SHOW HIS EMOTIONS.

Kaito NEEDS some support. Jii alone is not enough. His own parents have lied to him his entire life and he's constantly alone, grieving for something that is not real. He has Aoko, but he CAN'T let her in completely for obvious reasons. Hakuba's there, but same thing. And I'm sorry but Akako I don't really think counts either, he actively seems not to really even like her or whatever...

MY POINT IS. If Kaito can get some new family members that could support him... Why refuse it, no? I'm not talking about Yusaku because he's also been keeping him in the dark and all and hasn't really seemed to do anything about it. But Yukiko (yes I'm choosing to believe she's also oblivious to Kaito being put in that situation) and Shinichi? Oh, those two could do wonders for someone like Kaito, in my opinion. Because Yukiko is Yukiko (she was born to be the cool aunt), and Shinichi is... Well... Shinichi. He could understand Kaito and actively show him support and help. They COULD be amazing as family.

Now it's all just a matter of... Does Gosho WANT to go that deep into this? Or is he going to continue to disregard Kaito's suffering and not give him anyone to lean on?

Anyway, cousins Kaito and Shinichi rule!

[brunnerasposts]

The List

S.H. x Female Reader

Summary: Steve is struggling to comprehend how he feels, so Dustin and Lucas help him make a list

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: angst, meanie headed boys, takes place between S3-S4, crushes to ???, minimal use of Y/N

Additional Note: this is the same idea as The One With the List episode from Friends, but with Stranger Things characters

"I don't know what I'm gonna do." Steve panted as he continued to pace back and forth in his living room. "I mean, what am I gonna do?" He turned to Dustin and Lucas, who were trying to watch TV.

"I'm attracted to both Nancy and Y/N and I think they might feel the same. Now, I don't know what to do. This is so frustrating!" Steve groaned, gripping his hair.

"I mean, you have Nancy, who I've been in love with for three years now, and then there's Y/N who entered the picture once we started dealing with the upside down shit. And I..." He leaned against the wall, looking to both boys. "Is it possible to be in love after knowing someone for such a short period of time?"

"Yes." Both boys said, glancing at each other before their attention was drawn back to the movie. Steve nodded a little, remembering that they both had girlfriends. Lucas and Max always had trouble and Dustin had his girlfriend, Suzie, who was recently proven real through musical means.

"She's so different from Nancy, and yet I just want to be with her constantly. But then Nancy has also been there for me through my whole change of King Steve..." He trailed off, knowing he could keep going.

"This is terrible. I'm a terrible person." He groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

"I mean, I know Nancy and I have had our issues, but recently she... I don't know. She's been very flirty now that Jonathan is in California." He sighed, scratching his head.

"But then there's her." He smiled, remembering when you first entered the picture.

It was the middle of the school year, right after the Snow Ball. Steve was just becoming a new version of himself and trying to prove to his fellow students that he was capable of change. So, he was looking through the halls and that's when he saw you.

You were digging through your locker, reaching for something in the back which caused all of your things to fall and spread out on the floor.

Steve instantly went over to help, and you had been friends ever since. How you got involved in the upside down stuff was a different story. But when you found out about all of it, you didn't run and hide. You wanted to help. You wanted to protect Hawkins as well as everyone else in the group. You wanted to protect Steve.

"She was the first person to treat me differently."

"What's going on?" Lucas asked, only half paying attention as his eyes fixated on the cartoons he was watching.

Steve, realizing that he's been talking to a wall, glared at them both. "I'm talking about Y/N and Nancy."

"Oh no! Two women are attracted to Steve Harrington! Shocking." Dustin rolled his eyes, Lucas shaking his head.

Steve stared at them before grabbing the remote. He turned the television off, causing a commotion from both teenage boys. "What am I gonna do?" He asked, now having their full attention.

Lucas sat up.

"Here's an idea. Why don't you make a..uh, uh, a list! Yeah, a list of things you like and don't like about both of them." He suggested, tossing a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

"What like a pros and cons list?" Steve asked, his hands on his hips as he continued his pacing. "Yeah, yeah!" Dustin chimed in.

"Should we be doing this?" Steve asked, moving to go sit on the couch. He wasn't sure why, but something didn't sit right in his stomach with the idea of writing down things he didn't like about both girls. Especially when all he could focus on was the good.

"It might help." Lucas shrugged.

"Y/N versus Nancy: Pros and Cons." He said as Dustin stood, going to find some paper.

"Let's start with the cons!" The teen came barreling back into the room with pieces of paper and a pen. "Those are more fun." He grinned.

Steve rolled his eyes, leaning back into the couch. "Am I writing these down?"

"Nope, let me. Let's start with Y/N." Dustin said as he sat on the floor, using the coffee table as a desk. He looked to his older friend, ready to start writing some cons down.

Steve sighed, eyes moving around the room as he searched for one. "I don't know. She's amazing." He reached for some popcorn. "She's in love with you, so there must be something wrong with her." Lucas teased, ducking as popcorn was thrown at him.

A glare was sent Lucas' way before Steve resettled into the couch. "Well," His mind wandered, "I guess she can be a little ditzy." He chuckled nervously, fidgeting with the strings on his ripped jeans. This felt wrong, but he was desperate to try anything.

"Ditzy. That's good!" Dustin said, scribbling it down. "What else?"

"Um," Steve swallowed, rubbing his palms on his pants. "I guess she can be a little spoiled. But that's also because of me." He smiled, starting to feel better as he continued listing them.

Dustin wrote it down just as Lucas chimed in. "Don't you complain sometimes about how long she takes to get ready?" He asked. Steve thought about it and slowly began to nod. "I mean, I guess. She likes leaving a good impression with people, so she focuses a lot on making sure she looks nice." He shrugged.

"Too into her looks," Dustin spoke slowly as he wrote down each word. Steve winced, sucking air through his teeth. "I don't know if I'd word it like that, Henderson. Maybe like," He thought for a moment, "just say, 'takes a long time getting ready' or something."

Steve watched as Dustin drew a line through the previous bullet point and wrote the new phrase next to it. Dustin then set aside the other papers so he had more room for the one they were working on.

"Oh, her ankles are a little chubby!" He said, receiving a glare from both Lucas and Steve. "What? I thought we were all chiming in." The young teenager frowned but wrote it down anyway, his hat being knocked off his head by Steve. Dustin stared at him with annoyance before going back to the task at hand.

"Give me one more so we can have five total."

Thinking, Steve began to stand up. "I'm not sure. Let me grab a soda really quick. You guys want one?" He asked, both boys nodding.

Steve stood, going over to the kitchen. He looked around, hoping something would give him an idea as he grabbed a can of soda for each of them. He looked to the dining room, china cabinet, and his pool outside.

He never struggled with anything other than having a good relationship with his parents. They were a wealthy household, and it helped Steve turn into an asshole for a while. That is until he got involved with the group of nerds and their older siblings... and you.

"Well, Nancy and I both grew up comfortably, so we have that in common." He said as he reentered the living room. "But Y/N didn't. I mean, she has to work as a waitress to support her family." He frowned, knowing how much you hated your job but always did what you had to for your family. It was something he admired.

"Okay...and done! Now, what about Nancy? What's wrong with her?" Lucas asked. The question sent hundreds of different things he could say, but they all added up to the same point.

"She's not Y/N." He realized. As soon as he said that, everything just clicked. His feelings for Nancy were nowhere near the same as his feelings for you.

His eyes darted to the house phone. Steve then ran over to the phone, startling Dustin, who was in the middle of writing. "Dude, come on! Now it's not even her name!" He groaned but left it be.

"What are you doing?" Lucas asked as Steve dialed the phone number to the Wheeler's. The plan was forming slowly as he held the phone to his ear, letting it ring. "I'm telling Nancy the truth." He took a deep breath. God, he hoped now that she knew how to shoot a gun that she wouldn't use it on him.

"Wheeler's residence, this is Nancy Wheeler."

"Nancy!"

"Steve? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah! Well, for the most part."

"What? Do I need to come over?"

"No! No, uh, I just wanted to talk later."

"Okay... where?"

"Is it cool if I come over?"

"Oh...oh! Sure! Yeah, definitely. Uh, does ten work?"

"Sounds perfect. See you then."

He hung up the phone, looking to both Lucas and Dustin. "Are you actually going to tell her that you guys are done?" Dustin asked. "I mean, we've been done for a while. But the whole flirting thing that's been going on is going to come to an end tonight." Steve felt confident in this and he prayed Nancy would be understanding.

The doorbell rang, and Steve was not paying it much attention as he was precelebrating. Dustin joined in on Steve's celebratory dance, both unaware that Lucas went to answer the door.

Everything felt right in that moment. Steve was going to close up an old passing fling and open doors to someone he was committed to. You.

"Steve?"

Steve's head snapped up as he heard a voice from the doorway. Speak of the devil.

"Sweetheart?" He was met with you staring at him, almost frozen where you stood. Memories of your kiss from last night flooded back in his mind.

The memory was met with butterfly feelings in his stomach. Or was it a gut feeling? He didn't know, and he didn't care. All he cared about was the fact that you were right here in front of him.

"Hi." He spoke breathlessly.

"Hi." You grinned, cheeks rosy as you awkwardly showcased the cookie tin in your hands. "I brought these for your parents." She told him, walking up to him.

"Oh," Steve's smile grew as he saw how delicately the tin was wrapped in a pink ribbon, "Thank you. I'll go put these in the kitchen. Um," He looked around, "Did you want to stay for a little? I wanted to talk to you about something." He fidgeted with the corner of the cookie tin, hoping she'd agree.

"Talk? Am I in trouble?" You joked.

Steve chuckled. "No, no. I just wanted to talk to you about Nancy. I just called her." He grinned.

Your smile faltered, and Steve quickly realized his mistake. "No, no, I plan on talking to her to tell her how I feel."

A groan escaped Dustin, hiding his face in his hands from pure second-hand embarrassment.

You glanced to Dustin, eyes switching between the three of you now as your eyebrows furrowed. "Tell her...?" Your voice quivered as you trailed off.

Steve was too excited to say. He turned into a fumbling mess as he tried to explain himself. But the more he failed to explain, the clearer it was that you were getting the wrong idea.

"He's gonna tell her he's not interested!" Lucas exclaimed impatiently.

Steve sighed in relief, silently thanking Lucas for saving him. Your concerned expression turned into one that held surprise. "Really?" You asked, slightly breathless.

Steve moved to stand in front of you, tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. "It's always been you, sweetheart." He promised, making you gush as you both hugged each other tightly.

"Aww," Dustin and Lucas spoke in unison, giving each other a side hug as they watched the happy pair.

A small creak noise was made as Steve accidentally touched the cookie tin to your back. "Damn it, sorry, let me go put these away." He smiled widely, placing a quick kiss on your cheek before walking into the kitchen.

Steve was on top of the world. Nancy was going to be out of his hair, you'd be at his side, and nothing else could possibly be better.

Especially with a break from all things Upside Down related, Steve could enjoy what it was like to have a real and serious relationship. He'd have his person. His other half. Maybe even his future.

As he set the cookie tin down, he began to hear a commotion from the living room.

"What's that?"

Hearing those words sent Steve's stomach churning. He knew exactly what had been found.

The List.

He scrambled out of the kitchen to see Dustin and Lucas holding the list as you chased them around the coffee table to grab it from them.

"I saw my name! What are you keeping from me?" You ask, getting slightly frustrated.

"Hey, what's going on?" Steve asked nervously, placing his hand on your back so everyone would stop chasing each other. You turn to Jim. "Those two have my name on a piece of paper, and they won't let me see." You said as you looked to him.

From behind you, Dustin and Lucas began pointing at the list in their hands, Steve gulping. "They won't. They won't?" He changed his tone, "Isn't that the...the story you were writing?"

"Yes, yes it is! It's a story... I needed to write for class!" Lucas suddenly exclaims, taking the list from Dustin before sticking it in his pocket.

That made you stop. "A story? Well, let me read it."

"No!" All three boys shout at once, making you look between them with bewilderment.

"Hey, why don't you read it to her?" Dustin asked, Lucas slowly turning to face his friend. Oh, if looks could kill...

Lucas cleared his throat, keeping away from you as he opened the paper. "Uh..it's kinda short." He said as you were led to the couch by Dustin and Steve.

You looked between both guys, Steve giving you an awkward smile before turning to Lucas. The boy shakily opened the paper, staring at the few words on it.

"It was summer..." He started, Steve unsure of how much Lucas was going to be able to come up with at the top of his head. "and it was hot." He glanced at everyone before looking to you. "Y/N was there," both Dustin and Steve nudged you, hoping you believed what was going on.

"A lonely gray couch," His voice hitched, getting higher as the lie continued. "And that's all I have. The End." He smiled widely, holding the paper behind himself.

"That's it?" Dustin spoke a little loudly. "That's all you wrote?" Steve chimed in. "You're the worst writer in the whole world!" He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Alright, alright. This isn't funny anymore. There is something about me on that paper, and I want to see it." You said as you stood and snatched the paper. Steve took it from you, who had the paper taken from him by Dustin.

"No, you don't." Lucas promised.

Steve's attention turned to you, seeing a plan form in your eyes. "You know what, you guys? I don't have time for this behavior. Alright? If you want to be children about it, that's fine." You said as you began to walk past them.

"We're all mature here." You moved away from the couch. "And I do not need... to see it!" You suddenly exclaim as you snatch the piece of paper from Dustin, all three boys yelling out in surprise and chasing you around the house.

You eventually make your way back into the living room as Lucas and Dustin dive for you on the couch, landing on each other. Steve stopped at the arm of the couch, out of breath from the jog.

Now the successor, you smirked and moved to stand several feet away before unfolding the wrinkled page.

Absolute silence.

Steve could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he saw your frustration turn to surprise and then a sudden sadness at what you were reading.

"What is this?" You whisper.

All three boys stood, pushing themselves away from each other.

Steve rubbed his sweaty palms against his jeans, watching as you analyzed the paper in your hands. Lucas and Dustin both fumbled over their words, trying to help cover up for Steve what they could.

"Oh, that's—"

"My mom needed groceries so—"

"No, no, no—"

"It was a—"

"Steve, what is this?" You ask again, angrier this time. That was the cue for both Lucas and Dustin to leave the room and head upstairs. They pat Steve on the back as a sign of good luck before their feet pattered up the flight of stairs.

Steve waited until they were gone before trying to approach you.

"Sweetheart, just... just please remember how crazy I am about you—"

"Ditzy? Spoiled?" You read, hands gripping the paper so tightly. Your voice shook with each word. You gasped softly, looking to him with watery eyes. "Too into her looks?" You ask.

"No, no, that's not true." Steve promised. "That's why it's crossed out." He chuckled nervously, following you as you paced. As you reached the next bulletpoint, you stopped in your tracks and turned to him.

"J-Just a waitress?"

Steve hesitated, unsure of what to say at this point. "Now that was..uh—" He watched as you walked past him, eyes still glued to the paper in your hands. "You know, as opposed to the uh... you know." He cleared his throat, panic setting in fully now. "Is this over now?"

A gasp escaped your lips, making you turn to Steve in full rage. "I do not have chubby ankles!" You growl before storming out of the house.

Shit.

"No, no, sweetheart, wait!" Steve begged as he chased you out of the house. He grabbed your arm gently, turning you to face him. "Look at the other side. Look at Nancy's column!" You flipped the paper, looking at it in confusion. "She's not yum?" She asked in bewilderment.

Steve gulped. "What? No, no, it says—"

"Is that some fancy phrase I don't understand because I'm just a waitress?" You ask, crumbling the paper up in your hands before shoving it right against his chest as hard as you could.

"No, sweetheart, please!" Steve called out as you walked off.

"Maybe we should go." Dustin said as he appeared next to him.

"No, you guys stay. I'm leaving." You promise as you continue walking. Steve couldn't believe how everything flipped so fast since you arrived. One second, he was excited to tell you that he wanted to be with you, and next, he's begging for you to hear him out.

Once you reached your car, Steve knew he had to attempt one last time.

He ran over, shoving his hand against your car door just as you began to open it, so it closed again. "Come on, sweetheart, I know how you feel—"

"No, you don't, Steve!" You snap, startling him. Realizing you had, you took a breath. "Imagine the worst things you think about yourself." You started, lip trembling. "Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you?"

Steve shook his head, reaching out to hold your hands. "No, no, but see, I want to be with you in spite of those things." He promised.

You scoff, removing his hands from yours. Steve flinched, knowing he screwed up. "Oh, well, that's mighty big of you, Steve." You spoke sarcastically before looking over his shoulder.

"I said don't go!" You snap, making Steve turn to see Dustin and Lucas picking up their bikes. They instantly dropped them, awkwardly standing by the garage.

Steve looked back to you, unable to believe this was the argument you were having. Everyone has flaws. He had them, too. Not only that, but he felt like this argument was hypocritical. "You know what?" His voice hitched as it raised.

"You know what? If...If things were the other way around, there was nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you."

"I guess that's the difference between us." You whispered as you moved past him, getting in your car.

You turned the key in the ignition, the car engine roaring to life. "See, I wouldn't have made a list." A tear rolled down your cheek, making you wipe it away.

"Sweetheart, please." Steve whispered, eyebrows furrowing as he held himself in the open part of the door. His eyes watered, his fingers digging into the sleeves of his sweater.

You then shut the car door and began to reverse out of Steve's driveway, driving back home.

Steve let out a deep and aggravated sigh. What was he going to do now? That conversation was heavy, even for him, and he knew they all felt in the wrong for making the list.

How could something go wrong so quickly?

More importantly, you were probably never going to speak to Steve again. Of course, the universe decides the day he's mature enough to figure out his feelings that he has to go ahead and mess it all up.

What was Steve going to do now?

The End.

[trutrustories]

STUDY IN LOKI ROMANCE Part 1: Ouroboros

Since we're only a few days away from the last episode, I decided to COUNT DOWN everything we´ve got so far ( that can be interpreted very easily as romantic ) and discuss what the actual fuck is going on with second season. Because even though I shipped lokius practically from S1E2, I absolutely did NOT expect this kind of development. (Not that I´m complaining) Warning: This is gonna be LONG post, lots of screenshots, lots of SPOILERS, lot of "oh-my-god-they-so-cute" language, and little bit of meta. I originally thought that this post would be everything at once, but since I have just too many screenshots this time around, I´ll have to split it. so every post will be one episode. Color coding means:

IIIIIIIIII = anything, that coud potentialy be just acting choice.

IIIIIIIIII = everything else (tzn.: whatever was written, and/or carefully prepared by filmmakers. )

side note: I already wrote, about how amazing it is, that Mobius is unable to fight but fights anyway and how beautifuly, and ridiculously brave he is HERE. But this is about Loki/Mobius interactions, so I´ll try my best not to talk about THAT. (Even when I´m really happy, that s2 continues with this formula and Mobius is still his completely defenseless while aggressively brave self. I love him, btw.)

Soooo EPISODE 1, le´t go: 1)"Mobius It´s me!" few second in and we have slowmo chasing scene with detail on Loki, and Mobius and then THIS Loki´s heartbreaking look on his face here.

2) "Tell me, you recognize me!" (Loki trying to desperetly find Mobius, and then running towards him) Also If this Time slipping didn´t triggered anything external, but It´s just his own, unlocked power - I honestly don´t know, how they will explain that - does that mean, that he unknowingly unlocked this power, because he was send by Silvie into the past, and then he was simply desperete and Mobius couldn´t recognized him so his body reacted by time slipping to place and time, where Mobius would know who he is???

3) this very unexpected exhibition of touches (meaning Mobius practicaly glueing himself to Loki for this entire section)

I´m sorry, but my man here is like "no, I´m not about to let you have a personal space. NOT. AN. OPTION. let me hold you some more" xD

4) This scene in in an elevator first of all, that was a second time, he slipped and was RIGHT back with Mobius, the very next second. secondly: Mobius being scared for Loki and insisting he needs immediate help thirdly: Loki reassuring Mobius, It´s not that bad.

also this "we just had sex in a cabin" shot:

and lastly...

Big thanks to the film crew for this shot to give us an idea just HOW MUCH OF AN UNUSED SPACE was in the elevator! 👌

5) Mobius and Loki talking to OB. being perfectly coordinated team and smoothly working together, while standing on a same spot, but in a completely different time.

poetry... just poetry!

6) Distressed God and his Happy Face just so we know: how long is it, since their reunion? Because I would swear that not even five minutes ago Loki was in state of complete panic, and look at him now:

Look at him smiling, enjoying view at struggling mobius 💚

few minutes with this man, and HE forgets all about his trauma and just vibing.

me too, Loki. Me too 🥲

btw, this thing over here?!!!!

7) bickering, like married couple, part 1

8) "Mobius if I don´t make it back" and "You´ll make it back". What was it, what where you about to say Loki? It sounded important! next time TALK FASTER!

9) Mobius risking his life SKIN for loki and refusing to give up on him.

10) Loki saves Mobius in an epic fashion and they end up in a hug: also they roll around the floor together

I mean... this whole scene was absolute TOP! So yeah. That was a first episode. before the premiere I was litteraly hoping, that I will see our Loki and our Mobius together at least ONCE, before first end credits. I actually couldn´t believe my own eyes, holy shit!

[elisacaleisa]

I wrote this in my discord server and then posted on twitter. Time to annoy here as well, HEEHOO!

Jax's Personality Swap AU!

DAMN PIPELINE: Kody > Huxley > Gavin > Damien > Lasko > Kody

NOTE: Since this is a personality swap, these characters are gonna be out of character, but Huxley will still remained as a supporting character, while Kody is still not (only personality change, not roles)! Typing this just to avoid confusion!

Damien > Lasko:

Tired Air Elemental:

- he is tired

- looks older than he actually is, its the wrinkles and white hair

- bro doesnt sleep

- not really mean, he just sounds really monotone and had the same expression

- "you all are idiots, why do i hang out with you"

- "you have 99/100. you can do it next time"

- he has trust issues and has hard time opening up

- he means well when you get to know him

- "i try to push you to your limits, because i believe you can surpass them... i'm sorry, i didnt mean to break your boundaries"

- still a dnd nerd but more of a dungeon master with ton of research for his homebrew campaign

——————

Gavin > Damien:

Daring Fire Elemental:

- more of a risk taker in a rebellious bad boy way? Outside of the academy

- night walks

- "are you lost, precious?"

- smiles all the time in a warm way

- "well, look at you, what a snack. are you cold? i can warm you up."

- very smart but doubts himself

- awkward with physical contact

- tries to be seen as overly attractive and an attention seeker to hide his emotional vulnerability

- he and his mom kinda argue so he left,,, whoops

- "arent you a doll, freelancer. heh... alright, we will hug. maybe even kiss?"

——————

Kody > Huxley:

Distant Earth Elemental:

- is not very friendly in the beginning

- trust issues! My favorite /j

- he can be a meanie :(

- "why do we keep bumping into each other?"

- freelancer does not give up

- "i can take care of myself, i am not that stupid" he sounded hurt...

- he misses his moms,,,

- he wants to fit in, but since people think he is stupid because he is an earth elemental, he decided to do the opposite and be alone by himself

- the only friend he had was Lasko but they fought they last time they saw each other

- "you actually like me, didnt you? what am i doing, why do i wanna hurt you so bad? im supposed to be your friend" - spinel from steven universe the movie

——————

Huxley > Gavin:

Oblivious Incubus:

- he is so lonely

- his only friend was Caelum, who is kinda a spoiled brat but nice only to Gav (slowly to FL)

- FL comes up

- "youre so pretty..."

- shit he said that out loud

- PANIC

- "ISAIDWELCOMEMYNAMEISGAVIN-"

- very friendly

- poor orientation skills. he has to walk with freelancer to get them to the academy

- loves physical touch

- gives fl a keychain for free!

- the keychain says big gulp. FL giggles

- "huh? Whats so funny?" ... "oh... Ohhh haha! Haha, i didnt even realize! Youre so smart"

——————

Lasko > Kody

Bashful Water Elemental:

- he is so innocent!

- he is trying to be helpful

- "a-are you okay?"

- freelancer says its okay

- "i struggle with my powers, i-im so sorry"

- kody is following them.... ok?

- kody, personal space pls

- he is trying to also help freelancer, since he knows the struggle of being useless

- kody is being very pushy...

- "well, in this book, it says that we should bridge if we want to maximize our potential in our elemental. w-what do you say?"

- kody is a creep again GOD DAMMIT!

[izzyspussy]

Rating Ted Lasso Characters Based On If They'd Respect My Pronouns (Correctly)

Roy "We Stayed At GAY Til 3AM And Then We Had Crepes With Some Drag Queens" Kent: 11/10 no fucking shit. He would defend me from misgendering also, even if we weren't friends. He's the very embodiment of that guy who fought the trans guy and then fought the authority figure who scolded him for hitting a girl.

Nate "Genius (Code for Autistic)" Shelley: 11/10 are you kidding. If only quarantine had happened in his universe he'd have pronouns too. Also his girlfriend obviously already does.

Jamie "Prettyboy" Tartt: 11/10 duh. No, he doesn't know off the top of his head what part of speech a pronoun is, but only because nothing in the universe could matter less. And much like Roy, if he saw someone else being contrarian for the purposes of being a prick for absolutely no earthly reason, he would be eager to do something about it.

Keeley "Just The Tip" Jones: 11/10 did you see her. Never have I personally received more solidarity than from (butches and) full tilt Barbie Girl femmes like Keeley. She may be cis and she wears "women's" clothes, but she's still doing drag every day. She gets it.

Colin "Right by This Pink Triangle?" Hughes: 11/10 obviously. He would be so good at not making a big deal out of doing it correctly himself or correcting others, because he knows what it's like to just want to live your authentic life without being a spectacle.

Coach "You Should See Him In Drag" Beard: 11/10 which you should've guessed. Look at him. Look at him with your heart. You know he has pronouns you've never even heard of that he takes out for special occasions.

Ted "We Don't Not Care" Lasso: 11/10 why is this even a question. Practically the entirety of Ted's goals in life are to be respectful and kind and help others do the same. Sometimes that's hard and he fucks it up, but this is easy. C'mon.

Sam "Social Justice Warrior" Obisanya: 11/10 like. Obviously. I have nothing else to say, like. Obviously. Obviously.

Bumber-"Impending Class War"-catch: 11/10. If anything, given the opportunity, he would encourage me to have more pronouns.

Dani "Joy" Rojas: 11/10. These are getting very simple now, and require less and less explanation. He promotes joy. What else do you want.

Rebecca "Ask Your Daughter What It Means" Welton: 11/10. She's a cutthroat and a genuine feminist. She doesn't care if a bunch of freaks are scared of strangers' genitals, and she's certainly not going to let something so petty get in her own way.

Jan "I've Run Out of Fun Epithets For Everyone And He Wouldn't Mind This Unfun One That's Blunt About That Fact" Maas: 11/10 of course. There's no logical, moral, or social reason not to, and there is a wealth of evidence supporting gender affirming behavior.

Isaac McAdoo: 11/10. And he would (unnecessarily) instruct all the other lads to do it too. He might struggle with it at first if we had known each other previous to my transition, but not out of malice or negligence, and once he got on track he'd stay there for life.

Leslie Higgins: 11/10. He's a jazz musician with ten thousand gen Z children. He knows at least as many trans people already as any natural member of the queer community.

The Rest of The Lads: 11/10. We all know this to be true. Next.

Georgie Tartt: 11/10. Have you seen her son. She's prepared for this.

Sharon Fieldstone: 11/10. Have you seen her do her job. She's good at it.

Dottie Lasso: 9/10. Her heart's in the right place and that matters! She is inescapably Midwestern in both the good ways and the bad ways, though.

Jake: 8/10. Have you seen him do his job. He's bad at it.

Rupert Mannion: 6/10. He's a trans inclusive misogynist lmao. He also will treat correct pronoun usage as a privilege if he gets butthurt enough.

James Tartt: 3/10. He'd respect a trans man who performed masculinity to his standards, but he is definitely afraid of girlymen and women who are better than him (most women).

[fan-a-tink]

Wille & his family

If you think about it, Young royals is a story of many journeys, but one of the most central ones has been Wille’s journal away from his family. 

He starts the series with his family deciding that he will change schools. He tells them he doesn’t want to but is ignored. When Erik dies he spends what feels like two days with his family, trying to grieve together, but his mother immediately tries to get him involved in his role as crown prince. After all the shit with the video been leaked, his mother makes Wille apologize for it (still think this is one of the most fucked up things to happen in this show) and forces him to make a statement denying (himself) that it was him in the video, thereby betraying Simon, hiding his queerness and ruining his relationship. But Wille does this because this is his family and he has trusted them his whole life, and he doesn’t dare to take the leap and rely on Simon whom he’s only known for a few weeks/months at this point. And then he is betrayed by his family, when he finds out that Kristina knew it was August and didn’t tell him and is also still actively protecting August by deciding not to prosecute him. This is a key moment, because Wille learns that the foundations of his life, his family, was ultimately completely fine with betraying him and forcing him to do the speech. 

In season 2, we see the fallout of that betrayal, the aftermath. With Wille shutting out his mother, refusing to talk with anyone from the court etc. They try to take him from the school, to regain some control over his actions, but he manages to make a fragile peace with his mother by agreeing to see a therapist. His mother seriously believes that she doesn’t need to address her son’s struggles personally in any way, as a mother, and instead just makes Wille someone else’s responsibility. This is another important step, because the queen’s plan backfires and Boris is actually helping Wille realise that he doesn’t have to be defined by his family’s rules and it is possible for him to go after what he wants. At the end of season 2, when he makes that speech, he takes his first definite step away from his family, signaling to them that he will try to live his life on his own terms. 

And in season 3, we learn that this lead to the Queen having a breakdown. I know she always says it’s all about Erik, but she was dealing with that before and the only thing that has changed is that Wille has started standing up for himself. Now throughout season 3 Wille and his family are in a tricky situation: Wille collaborates with the royal court for his work as a prince and for his and Simon's safety, but he is completely on his own in his family. He receives help and support from Farima, not his parents. The Queen’s illness puts pressure on him to be ready for the crown, and at the same time no one in his family wants to really speak about it and when he meets his mother she pretends that everything is fine. Then even his belief in Erik is shattered, and he has to question the only thing he really held on to with his family: his brother and the ideal he represented, the responsibility he felt to continue Erik's legacy. All of this leads to the confrontation in episode 5, where he rightfully calls out his family for never supporting him throughout any of it. He literally yells at his father „I am your only son now. Can you see me?“ and tells Kristina that she is doing a shit job of both being a mother and the Queen. And they prove him absolutely right by just refusing to engage with him, and just leaving the room because they can’t handle the situation. 

So at the point we’re at now, Wille is the furthest away from his family he has ever been. He starts out sitting in between them when he gives his first speech after the fight at the club in episode 1. And he has become completely isolated from all of them by the end of episode 5 of season 3. Does that mean he will go one step further and turn down the responsibility of being crown prince and abdicate? I don’t know. But his journey throughout three seasons has definitely been going in that direction. He becomes more and more estranged from his family and has realised more and more that he can’t rely on them for emotional support, or rely on them to even just consider him in the decisions they make that affect his life. A part of me wants him to just get away from them and make his own way in the world. But another part also wants Kristina and Ludvig to step up and become the parents that Wille deserves and needs. 

[her-power]

Last Chance to Dance (Rockstar! e.m. x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Summary: Modern Eddie + reader are early 30s. Eddie is the famous lead singer/guitarist of Corroded Coffin, who has gotten himself into legal trouble due to his antics and drug use. Eddie broke your heart many years ago and he receives a letter from you asking to meet to talk about what happened between you two so long ago. Secrets are talked about, mental walls are built and broken down. Most of this series will be in Eddie's POV. (I will also be putting song inspirations on each part 🤍)

Word Count: 5k

A/N: There will be a LOT of mentions of heavy drug use in this series. This series DOES NOT glorify the use of drugs. It is not cool, it is not fun, it is something that destroys people and everyone around them. I have loved and lost people I know to drug and alcohol use, a lot of what you read here is my own personal experience from what I have seen with my own eyes. I hope this series will spread awareness and will give anyone and everyone who reads this hope. If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, please know you are not alone, there is help out there.

The silence is almost deafening as I sit there in my dimly lit office, tapping my finger against the arm of the chair; the metal of my ring clinking as I stare at my therapist, Dr. Catherine Ryan, in front of me. She had a kind smile, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk today. 

“What’s bothering you?” She asks gently. 

I gaze at her, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. A stupid habit I formed when I stopped using six months ago. 

Let’s see, I’m tired of the noise inside my head that is constantly reminding me what a piece of shit I am. I’m lucky that my bandmates don’t hate my guts for the shit I put them through on tour when I was needle deep in a heroin fog and couldn’t remember the lyrics to a fucking song I wrote. My music career is only surviving because the world thinks we’re on a hiatus to write our next album when I actually did a stint in rehab and have court ordered mandatory therapy once a week. The only way I can have therapy is if she comes to my escape cabin in upstate New York and escorted in and out by a security guard. 

Oh, I also can’t stop thinking of you, the one whose heart I broke fifteen years ago back in Hawkins, Indiana because I was too scared to love or be loved. The same you who mailed me a letter that I received at my P.O. Box in Boston three days ago, that I haven’t opened yet and sits in my back pocket folded up, because I’m too much of a pussy to see what you have to say.  

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I tell her, taking a cigarette out of my pocket. I let the smoke fill my lungs and exhale the smoke away from her. 

“What do you want to talk about?” She asks, crossing her legs. I stare at her long legs, and my eyes scan up her body. She was curvy and thick, with a perfect set of tits and stunning green eyes. I almost laugh, if a beautiful woman like her was in my house six months ago, it wouldn’t take long before I’d have her bent over the back of my couch, fucking her until she couldn’t take it anymore. But I couldn’t do that anymore. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, or whatever the fuck the saying is. 

“Eddie, this is mandatory therapy. I can’t help you if you’re not willing to talk. We’ve had four sessions so far, and the only thing we have talked about is your drug habit.” She seemed annoyed, and I couldn’t blame her.

“I’m only here because of my drug habit.” 

“Is that all?” 

She was testing me, and I smile at her, leaning my elbows against my knees. “You know, I bet you are really good at helping people and are able to get your patients to sit here and cry about their shitty lives or whatever it is people tell you. But I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, you’re not gonna get it from me.” 

“You keep up a guard. Defense mechanism, it’s common in people who have been hurt before.” She says, scribbling a note down. 

I narrow my eyes. “I sense judgment in your tone, and I’m not sure I care for it.” 

“It’s not judgement, Eddie. It’s an observation. I’m observing you.” 

I sit back against my chair and scoff, lighting up another cigarette with the ember of the one I just had. I inhale deeply. “I think our session should be cut early today.” 

She closes her notebook and gives you a kind smile. “If that’s what you want.” 

“I do.” I tell her. 

I get up from my seat as she stands, walking her to the door where the security guard waited outside. I may be an asshole, but I know how to be a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead when your name is Eddie Munson. She nods at me as she leaves, handing me her card for the time of the next session for next week and I close the door behind her. I stub out the cigarette in the ashtray and let out a deep sigh. I plop myself on the couch, hearing the crinkle of the letter in my back pocket and I lift my hips to pull it out. I look at the neat print on the front; seeing your handwriting brought back so many memories that I had forgotten about. 

Why would you send me a letter? Is it just to tell me how happy you’ve been these last fifteen years since I’ve been gone, that you’re married with children, thriving in your thirties? 

“Well, the only way to know is if you open the letter, dipshit.” I mutter to myself. I groan, shaking my head as I rip the letter open and unfold it. It was only two pages, but you had written a lot. 

 Hey, You’re a tough guy to find, being famous and all. I didn’t think this P.O. Box was real at first, but I ended up tracking down Gareth and he told me it was real. I can’t believe he still has the phone number he’s had since high school.  I don’t know why I’m writing you a letter, I guess I could’ve just texted you, he did give me your number, but I wanted this to feel more personal. Like when I’d write you those stupid folded notes in class.  I know it’s been a long time, and you’re probably thinking I’m absolutely insane, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately. There are so many things that I wanna say to you. There are so many things that were left unsaid, and I guess lately it’s been bothering me. You’re probably not even going to get this, so I don’t even know why I’m continuing to write.  I don’t want you to think that I hated you or have hated you this whole time. It would be easier to hate you, believe me, I’ve tried but I physically cannot have that kind of power over me. I’m proud of you, Eddie. You worked so hard to get to where you are, and you made your dreams come true. I knew you could.  I want to tell you I’m proud of you in person; to let you know that what happened in the past stays there and we can both move forward in a way. I mean, I just told you now. I know you’re really busy and I feel stupid now. But I will be in Boston in December, the week of the 18th while my aunt is down in Florida for the week, house sitting. Gareth had mentioned you and the band were taking a hiatus to focus on the writing and doing some self reflecting. I would love to see you, especially with the holiday season. 

It’s not every day you get to see the boy you’ve known since diapers be on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, selling out stadiums. 

Please don’t feel obligated, though. 

I suddenly forgot how to swallow, and I almost choke on my own saliva. You had written your phone number on the bottom of the last page. I swing my legs onto the floor, taking my phone off the coffee table. I scroll to my contact list, and add your name, along with your phone number. 

I pause, my hands begin to shake, and I inhale deeply. 

“No no no, not now, not now.” Grimacing, I sit back on couch, closing my eyes as my stomach turns to knots and my chest feels like it was going to explode. I can feel the sweat bead at the back of my neck as the panic attack feels like it’s choking me out and I groan. I go into the drawer of the coffee table, pulling out the lorazepam pill bottle, taking a minute to open the cap because my hands were so sweaty. I throw the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry and breathe in through my nose. 

This happens more often now, especially since being off dope, I had to learn how to deal with them like a normal thirty-four-year-old man. It took a lot of convincing for my doctors to give me the lorazepam, but apparently threatening to go and take a hot shot of heroin to kill myself was convincing enough for them to give me the lowest dose of the stupid pill. 

I close my eyes. Thinking back to how I got here; how I could’ve lost everything because of my own stupidity, because of my inability to slow down, because I took sex, drugs, rock and roll too literally. All because I refuse to let love into my soul and hold on tight. 

One year earlier

The dressing room walls echo with the moans of myself and...I don’t even remember her name. Sarah? Shelly? It doesn’t even matter. I only see the back of her head anyway; she was very blonde. I hold onto her hips tightly, slamming my cock in and out of her. She was screaming like a porn star, and I’m pretty sure she was putting on a show. 

“Oooooh, just like that baby. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Oh goddd, you’re so fucking good.” She moans and I roll my eyes, slamming into her harder just to get her to shut up. I reach over to the coffee table to grab my tiny vile of cocaine, I pop open the cap, and pull out of her for a moment. She was still rolling her hips as I sprinkle the drugs onto her ass.

“Stop fucking moving.” I tell her, grabbing the plastic straw and snorting back the drugs into my airways. She moans again when she hears me snort another line off her, and I slam myself back into her. My head falls back in pleasure, the effects of the cocaine causing every single part of my body to pulsate, and I can feel my orgasm approaching. 

“Fuuuuck.” I moan, my rhythm getting sloppy, and she groans. 

“Cum inside me baby, cum inside me.” She moans and I immediately feel myself go soft. Fuck this. I stop moving and slide myself out of her, she turns to look at me, her mouth opened in a gasp. “Why did you stop?”

I take a cigarette out of my pack and light it. “Get out.” 

“What?” She snaps. 

“Get your shit and get the fuck out of my dressing room. Telling me to cum inside you, I know what you’re doing.” I take her dress off the floor and throw it at her. Her eyes narrow and she gets up from the couch, throwing the dress over her head. 

“You weren’t even that good, fucking junkie!” She yells at me, and I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lungs. She looked like a cartoon character. Her eyes wild, her hair a wild mess, her fake tits bouncing as she storms out of the room. I lean back on the couch, a little mad that I didn’t cum, but whatever, that’s what my hand is for. I don’t know why I invite these women back to my dressing room after every show. Most of the time, these women don’t even know the words to our songs, they just want to be able to tell their friends they fucked a rockstar.  I sigh, opening the vile and do another bump. I’m one hundred percent in love with heroin, but I’m an addict. Cocaine just takes the edge off when I need it to. I tie my hair back in a low bun, blowing my bangs out of my face. I stand, catching a glimpse of myself in the fluorescent lit vanity mirror. The lighting made me look terrible; I was thinner than normal. The ram skull tattoo across my abdomen looked discolored, but I know it was just the way the light was hitting it. I was losing muscle mass in both of my arms, but since tattoo sleeves covered both my arms, no one could notice. No one knew how bad it was getting with the dope; I honestly preferred to suffer in silence about it, but I knew they noticed. I would feel Gareth’s eyes burn into the back of my skull whenever I would escape to go into a bathroom, or immediately go into my hotel room to get started on my new supply. I felt terrible keeping it from him, he was my brother, my bandmate, but he didn’t need to worry. I was fine, at least that’s what I told myself. 

We had awhile before we hit the next city of the tour. The tour bus felt too crowded, too stuffy. We all decided it would make sense to hide out in a hotel for a few days before we got to Atlanta.  I requested my own room of course, the supply I just bought felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket. Isn’t that what they say about money? 

Money meant nothing to me; if I lost it all tomorrow, I wouldn’t care. That’s the beauty of this drug, you don’t have a care in the world once that shot courses through your veins. 

I lock the door to my room after saying goodnight and head into the bathroom. I pull my shirt over my head and undo the belt from my jeans. I set everything up on the table: fresh needle, the drugs, and water bottle cap.  It doesn’t take long for me to pull the dope into the syringe, at this point it’s like riding a bike for me. I sit on the floor against the bathtub, I wrap the belt around my left arm, pulling it tight with my teeth and clench my fist. I see the most perfect vein pop up in the bend of my arm; I have to be careful though, I can’t go to the same spot twice or else I’ll blow up my veins and then more people will notice.  I’ve always hated needles, isn’t that ironic? I’m thinking that as the tip of it pinches my skin and my thumb is on the trigger, slowly pushing it down.

“A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down…” I sing softly, feeling the sweet burn of the heroin flow like a tsunami in my veins. My eyes flutter close as the most beautiful feeling overcomes me; my head lulls back against the porcelain and I feel a smile grace my lips. 

A loud knock at my door startles me out of my high, and I’m pissed. 

“Hang on a second.” I mutter and awkwardly pull myself up, undoing the belt from my arm. I place the cap on the needle and toss it behind the doors under the sink. 

Knock knock knock knock knock

I toss my sweatshirt over my head, putting a cigarette to my lips. “Yeah, I hear you! Fuck, I’m coming.” 

I open the door to find Gareth standing there with his arms crossed, I light the cigarette and wave my hand, tilting my head at him. “Yeah?” 

“What are you doing?” He asks me. 

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m not doing anything.” I inhale on the cigarette, and he continues to stare at me. If there was a God, I thank him for giving me brown eyes, because at least he wouldn’t be able to see how my pupils look like pinholes. “Do you wanna come in?” 

I move to the side, and he walks by me, I shut the door, locking it. 

“Do you want a beer or anything?” I ask him, going into the mini fridge, pulling out two, I could feel myself about to nod, but I quickly stand up, clearing my throat so I can at least look like I’m not fucked up. 

“No, I’m fine.” His eyes scan every inch of my room, the floor where my clothes were, Sweetheart laying on the foot of my bed. My necklace I always wore with the red guitar pick laid on the nightstand by the bed. I always take it off before I shoot up, I don’t know why, I think something is going to happen to it if I don’t, it means a lot to me. His eyes fix on my belt on the bathroom floor, he doesn’t say anything, but I know what he’s thinking. 

“Gareth, if you got something to say, man, just say it.” I tell him, leaning against the small table, I ash my cigarette into a coca cola can. 

He turns to me; he was still blessed with a baby face that I remember from school. “How bad is it getting?” He almost whispers.

“How bad is what getting?” 

“The drugs, man. Come on dude, I know you’re not stupid.” He sits across from me on the foot of the bed, gently moving Sweetheart over. 

I sigh. “Gareth, I’m fine. It’s not getting bad.”

He puts his head down, shaking his head. “Don’t fucking bull shit me, Eddie. I’ve known you for almost two decades. Have you even looked at yourself lately?”

I close my eyes, feeling a wave of anxiety hit my lower gut, and I force it to go away by not caring. “Don’t worry about me, man. I’m serious.”

“Of course, I’m gonna fucking worry!” He stands up, his face full of rage. “If you fuck up this tour, our entire music career is in the gutter! How many times have I had to bail you out when you’ve been coming down from a cocaine binge and are late to rehearsal? How many goddamn times have I had to convince cops not to arrest you when you’re inebriated beyond belief. It’s getting fucking old, man.” He towers over my 6-foot frame and again, I start laughing. 

His eyes widen. “Are you seriously laughing right now? 

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “I am, because it’s funny how you think I’m gonna be the one who’s gonna fuck up this tour. I built this band from the ground up, nothing and no one is gonna fuck that up.”

“Oh fuck you, dude!” He yells at me. “You built this? What happened to you saying this entire band was built on friendship, loyalty and fucking friends who play nerdy games? What happened to that Eddie?” 

“Dead.” I give him a sideways smile. “Dead dead dead.” 

He looks at me incredulous. “Wow. You’re an actual nightmare.” 

“You’re the one who decided to knock on my door.” I place the cigarette in the can, hearing it sizzle out. I cross my arms over my chest, already itching for another shot. “Anything else?” 

He scoffs, walking towards the door and stepping out. “No. Have a good night, Eddie.” 

“Yeah, you too!” I scream at his back as I shut the door, locking all the locks and kicking the bottom of it. Suddenly, the chair near the table gets a boot from me, followed by the lamp, the paintings on the walls. I smash the beer bottles against the windows, and when I’m finally spent, I collapse on the bathroom floor, digging out the needle. I’ll leave the hotel a couple hundred dollars to pay for whatever I damaged; I’ll hopefully remember to clean up tomorrow.

I’m pretty sure I put too much in it this time, because I’m riding something wild right now. My eyes are half lidded, my breathing is slow but it’s such a peaceful feeling.

“Makes the medicine go down…medicine go down…”

The beginning of that year was when shit started going downhill fast for me. Once I had gotten my panic attack under control, and I felt calmer, I sent you a text message, realizing that tomorrow was the 18th. I typed up, deleted, typed up, deleted, about six different times before finally sending you: Hey stranger, it’s Eddie. Pretty wild to hear from you. I’m currently up in my cabin in upstate NY, but if you are gonna be in Boston. I can make the trip. It would actually be awesome to see you. Hope you are well. 

I forgot how nervous you made me, even back then. You were such a kind, beautiful soul, who loved me and took care of me when I didn’t deserve it. I was so nervous all the time because I really loved you too, but I couldn’t…wouldn’t let myself feel it. You were the only woman in my life that knew me, and actually saw me. You were my best friend, always my partner in group activities in elementary school. It was us against the world the minute I kissed you for the first time when we were eighteen, and then it ended with me, burying my head in the sand, because I’m a fucking idiot. 

My phone dings and I see your name pop up.  Hey!!! Wow, your own cabin huh? Are you a mountain man or something this winter season? I’m sorry if my letter was all over the place, I really should’ve just texted you but, whatever. Here we are now. Yes! Let’s meet, I can give you a spot to meet for coffee? Unless you just want my aunt’s address, I don’t know how Boston is when it comes to famous people. 

I type up a message: Boston is one of those cities that is wild to play on stage in front of, but the people don’t give a fuck if you’re famous. Which is why I bought a condo there, I can live out some downtime in peace. Coffee sounds great. Just let me know a time when you are settled. 

You quickly respond: Ha! Boston is pretty rad. I’m already here, I got here a day early. I know you got a pretty long drive so we can meet the day after tomorrow if you’d like? Say around 10?

I type up that that time and date worked for me and begin packing a small suitcase to take with me on the trip. 

I honestly felt like I was dreaming all this; I get sober, you, a woman that was literally the one that got away because of my own fucking deep-rooted issues, comes back into my life and wants to see me? I feel like I’m living the Notebook. Except, the rated R version where Ryan Gosling is an ex-junkie, who doesn’t build houses, or used to blow cocaine off a woman’s asshole. 

I groan, I already know I’m gonna fuck this up again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The coffee shop you chose was a place I’ve never been before, it seemed newer, and no one batted an eye when I walked in. I take off my sunglasses and scan the place. It was quaint, quiet, with rustic undertones but mostly modern. 

“Eddie?”

My eyes immediately fix on you, sitting in the back booth by a small window, and I feel my heart flutter down to my stomach. God, you were stunning. Your eyes still shone that sparkle in them, your smile was just as adorable as I remembered, especially the dimples in your cheeks. I whisper your name and find myself quickly walking towards you. You wrap your arms around my shoulders, and I let out a deep sigh, almost lifting you off your feet, as I hug the curves of your waist, burying my face into your shoulder. We stay like that for a while, you giggle into my chest, telling me you couldn’t believe it was me and that I was here. I didn’t want to let go, but I knew I had to. We pull away and you are still smiling, looking into my eyes, you lift your hand to gently curl your fingers into my hair and I smile at you. 

“I love that you still kept this hair.” You say, shaking your head, looking like you’re still trying to process that I’m standing in front of you. 

I gently cup your face, swallowing hard, studying you. You turn your cheek into my hand, and I slowly remove it. You nod for me to sit, and I scoot over into the booth, peeling off my leather jacket. I still stare at your face; I couldn’t believe you were real. The server comes over to take our coffee order, I get mine hot with triple espresso and a shot of caramel, and you get an iced coffee with a shot of vanilla and almond milk. I smile, you’ve kept the same order since you started drinking coffee. 

Your eyes fix on mine, and I smile at you, sipping my coffee. “You haven’t changed.” I tell you softly. 

“My back will have to disagree with you.” You laugh, spinning the straw with your finger. “You haven’t either, aside from more tattoos.” 

I smile; remembering that you were there for most of my smaller ones. I had convinced you back then to get a large tattoo that started from under your breast, all the way down to the top of your hip; that was always my favorite part of you to taste. I cross my legs, feeling a tingle in my lower belly. Fucking pervert. 

I notice a few finger tattoos on your right hand, and I nod to them. 

“I told you they were addicting.” I laugh. “How many do you have now?” 

You laugh, a sound so beautiful to my ears, I want to cry. “Sixteen? Seventeen?”

My eyes widen and I laugh. “No way! Let me see.” 

You meet my eyes, your face turning crimson. Of course, there were hidden ones, I immediately feel like I overstepped and go to apologize when you speak. “It’s a lot of random ones, all over. I added some stuff to the rib piece.” That one you show me, you lift up your sweater, and I feel my dick twitch. 

Pervert. Dirty pervert. It’s been fifteen years, put your dick away. 

The cluster of wildflowers that started from your ribs to your hip had added roses to different spots they ended up entwining into a beautiful ivy vine, before falling off towards your back. I notice the bottom of a small piece on your sternum, and you pull your sweater back down. 

“That’s beautiful.” I tell her, smiling. “What have you been doing these last fifteen years?” 

“Well, I moved out of Hawkins.” I smile at that, she always wanted to leave that place. “I moved to Maine, I bought myself my own little cabin in the woods. I’m a nurse at the local hospital there.” 

My heart practically bursts with pride, and I laugh. “See? You don’t have to be famous to have your own cabin. That’s wonderful, I know that was always a dream of yours, becoming a nurse.”

“Yeah, it’s fulfilling. Heartbreaking 99% of the time but fulfilling.” Your eyes fix on mine again, and we just share comfortable silence as we stare at one another. 

“Your eyes are sad.” You say suddenly. 

“What?” I snap myself back down to my reality; it was easy to get lost in your eyes. 

“You look like you’ve been through hell and back again. Sorry for being blunt, I’m just sorry for whatever is bothering you.” Your eyes show me that same familiar kindness, and I smile awkwardly at you.  

“I’m okay.” I tell you, only half lying. 

You place your hand over my ringed fingers, gently entwining them. I stare at our hands, and gaze back into your eyes. “What am I doing here?” I whisper to you. I can feel my heart do another back flip, and my brain screams at me to get up and run because I can still feel your love. 

Your fingers gently move over the bumps on my rings, and your eyes dart to mine. You spot the small silver chain around my neck, half tucked in my shirt, and you lift your hand to gently pull out the red guitar pick. You finger the plastic and smile. “Wow. You kept this all these years.” 

“Of course, I did. I never take it off.” Except when I used to shoot dope, but that’s beside the point. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Sweetheart, why am I here?” 

You sigh, giving me a sad smile. “Would it be weird if I said that I really fucking miss you? And for the last fifteen years, I haven’tstopped thinking about you.” 

Heart exploding. 

My breath hitches and my eyes widen slightly. “But…I hurt you…and I left—"

“I know, I know you did, but” you take my hand again. “Eddie, we were best friends. Since before we could even say those words. You were so important to me. You’re still important to me. How could we throw that away?” 

I stare at you, reading your face, gazing at the shape of your mouth, the way your hair falls in waves, the curves of your breasts. I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling my hand away from yours. “You wouldn’t think that anymore once you know what I’ve done, who I’ve become.” 

“Then tell me.” You say softly, your eyes dart from my lips, to my eyes. I stare at your lips, remembering how perfectly they fit against mine, how soft they were. How eager you would be when your tongue would slip into my mouth, deepening the kiss, your soft moans vibrating against my mouth as I carefully push myself inside you. 

I meet your eyes; you’re waiting for me to say something. I shake my head, running my hands over my hair. I sigh. “How long you got?” 

You look at your wrist at a fake watch. “About a week.” I laugh and lean back in my seat, sipping my coffee. 

Yeah, I missed you too. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Special shout out to: @trixyvixx @originalstar1 @iggyizalien @themorticians-world

& so many of you who supported my last series.

I wouldn’t continue writing if it weren’t for you guys giving me the motivation to do it. Love you all!

[sarucane]

Why didn't Ed always protect Stede?

I'm a bit late to the party and only really got into OFMD with S2, so I've started watching S1 really thoroughly only recently. And I've noticed that there's this narrative in the fandom that Ed and Stede are super protective of each other, particularly Ed--but as I've gone through S1 (number redacted) times, it's been driving me nuts how much Ed doesn't protect Stede.

Sure, there's the meme we all love when Ed stands in front of the firing squad--but for most of the scene before that, he's been standing and watching Stede beg for his life. He's upset, but he doesn't intervene until it's nearly do late. And before that, Ed doesn't say or do a thing about Calico Jack treating Stede like shit--sure it's believable that he just doesn't notice the passive aggression, but not even catching the "Steve" thing? That's something that isn't even intervening, Jack could be making an honest mistake. But the thing no-protection moment that's really driven me nuts is this moment

In the scene before this, Ed and Stede have just had an incredibly emotionally intimate conversation. Ed is clearly at least half in love with Stede at this point. This is a relationship that means something important to him, this is a person he cares for deeply. And…and Izzy almost murdered Stede in front of him, because of him, and he just looked away.

But at the same time, Ed does love Stede, he does intervene to protect him from the English--at great personal risk and cost. By the end of S2 Ed's much better about this kind of thing (though I'd argue he's never as super-protective as I've seen suggested).

So what was going on here? Ed's a total softie inside, especially with Stede, so why was he like this?

And I've got a theory! Here goes:

Mr. "greatest pirate who ever lived" is, in fact, an overachieving rule-follower (cough teacher's pet cough).

Ed doesn't intervene to help Stede because Ed conforms himself to the rules set by whoever has the strongest personality in a room, or whatever "code" is being pushed on him/is easiest to follow.

I think this is part of why Ed often struggles to identify what he wants, or hold onto a firm sense of his self-identity. And I think it's a lot of why he's so attracted to Stede, and why that relationship is so important to his development: Ed is much less likely to follow the rules when he's one-on-one with someone, and spending a lot of time alone with Stede gives him much more mental space to understand what he wants.

And just like Stede is most successful when he doesn't try to follow the traditional rules of pirating, Ed is most successful--in his relationship with Stede and outside it--when he doesn't obsess over bending to the rules, and instead picks and chooses which ones to follow and which ones to discard.

I have a partly-written super-long version of this where I go episode by episode looking at how the rules theme works with Ed's character mechanics, but I'm just going to focus on the topic question here (I might get around to posting the long version, but I also might be distracted by something shiny;) )

So let's start with The Art of Fuckery and the thing that was driving me crazy.

Ed's core conflict in this episode was whether he'd going to send Stede to "doggy heaven." Why would he follow Stede to doggy heaven? Because according to Izzy, Stede is categorized as a pet, and Ed has "a policy regarding pets aboard your vessel." It's a rule. Ed has to follow it.

And Ed fully intends to follow it, right up until the kraken turns up and the rules go out the window. And then he's in a safe space with Stede, drowning in memory of the good rules he broke (don't kill people you love). But Stede rejects the idea that Ed breaking that rule makes him a bad person. He appeals, instead, to friendship. And offers his own rule: that they could pretend the murder thing never happened.

Because that's the amazing thing about Stede: he lives at the intersection of aristocratic and pirate rules (which isn't supposed to exist, and which drew Ed to him), and he makes up his own rules.

When Ed's with Stede, he can follow different rules, unlike anything he'd imagined. Can even sometimes make up his own rules. Can actually pay attention to himself, think about what he wants, what he likes and fears.

But when Ed's in a crowd, or alone with someone trying to impose something on him, he conforms. So when Izzy invokes Pirate Rules and steamrolls Ed ("no you're not doing this,") Ed lets him.

It's a character flaw, and it's a serious one...but it's also one Ed works on when he stops complaining about the treasure hunt business. And when he and Stede discuss the idea of co-captains, and arrangement that would break the rule that "a ship has only one captain."

Which Ed is able to do because he's in a safe space. Calico Jack disrupts that, and introduces a succession of games with clearly defined rules, which Ed follows one after another. And Ed has so little self-awareness, is so easily swamped by Jack's personality, that he doesn't notice how Jack's treating Stede, let alone defend him, and he bows to every hint of pressure.

And all that culminates in Ed having to make a decision: follow pirate rules, where everyone's just at "various stages of screwing each other over," or do what he wants. Go help his friend, the guy he loves.

Which just ends up with him being absorbed right back into the pirate system of rules. He tries to use this at first, faking a confession on the grounds that he's a "life is cheap sort of guy." But Izzy's outsmarted him, and Izzy invokes pirate rules again: that Ed told him the rule for a first mate was "above all loyalty to your captain."

Ed doesn't call out for the Act of Grace until the last minute. He could have done it at the trial--he didn't. This is a hard thing for him to do, because he's surrounded by rule-following pressure, from Izzy and from Chauncy. The last time he was in a situation like this, Ed just looked away and let Stede die (he thought).

But the thing about Ed is that he's "half insane." For years, he used the combo of being considered "mad" and also having Izzy around to have his cake and eat it too with rules, to be the world's greatest pirate and also hang onto his own authentic self.

As a result, Ed got good at finding loopholes. Places where you can follow the rules and break them, at the same time. Getting run through, but in a place that missed "all the important bits." Being sentenced to death, but asking for an Act of Grace.

It's a big deal when Ed steps in front of Stede like that. He's acting against pirate rules, risking being absorbed by the rules set by the English.

He does it for Stede--and that starts to set him free. After that, Ed's never just following the rules again. He actually can't, even when he tries: his going kraken at the end of S1 and start of S2 is doomed from the start and full of contradictions, starting with the fact that he's on Stede's ship, the ship with hidden passages where rule-breaking can be hidden until it's needed.

Ed struggles a lot to figure out which rules to follow ("I will abide by the guidelines"), which rules to set aside ("Can we take it slow?"), when to make up his own rules ("So we're innkeepers now."). And Stede helps him, telling him things like "This can be whatever we want it to be," and "you're not a dick, life's a dick."

I don't really have a clever conclusion to this particular meta. It's a messy thing, and individual figuring out how to their life does and does not intersect with society. This theme doesn't resolve neatly, it just stops at the end of the season, like the tension between Ed/kraken/Blackbeard.

But there's a lot of hope here, I think. When Ed acts to protect Stede, and to fight alongside him, he's not just being a protective partner. It's a learned action, the physical manifestation of a decision Ed's made about who he wants to be in the world. Rules be damned.

[kanmom51]

JM ‘FACE’ Music Show Promotions Sketch 

cr./to the creators of the media used in this post.

So yeah, yesterday just 4 days before JK's single Seven is about to land, after JK's concept photos and clip were released showing us a clear bias and after the BTS book pages about Jikook's Tokyo trip surfaced, surprisingly (or not so much) this BTB was released.

Cannot help but wonder if this was a scheduled release or one of those pieces of content they had waiting in the vault to release at some point, not necessarily yesterday.

Not that I am complaining that we get more JM content, not at all, it's just the timing that feels a little sus to me is all. You know, with the heavy on Yoonmin and little Jihope we got there.

And again, let me make myself clear here. I'm not complaining us getting the content. Both members did visit JM on set to support him and it's great to see this in the content. It's the timing, the editing and on top of that, what we didn't get in past BTB that has me a little on edge.

So, Suga, as we know, came to visit JM on set.

To support him on his first show.

But this.

What did Yoongi mean by this?

"And to build up a good reputation of us".

It's not about JM's performance, it comes straight after he says the reason he came was it was JM's first performance. This is another reason he came - build up good reputation...?

To show they are supporting each other?

Was this said seriously or jokingly?

I'm still not understanding it.

I do have thoughts as to what he meant by it, and I wouldn't put it by him to mean that too, but still hoping it's not that.

Someone else also knows that, I can assure you. Same someone that found his way, with or without the company's approval (let's be honest here, it's without their approval and his way of kicking back) of supporting and promoting JM as publicly and as loudly as he could.

Same person that made a point to comment and let us know on JM's live after his last performance that he did want to come and see JM while recording.

And then we have this:

Yes, this is me bitching. I decided to get all of the shit out of the way before I get to the positive.

"Suga who knows Jimin better than anyone when it comes to performing"? Really? Pushing the Yoonmin a little much aren't we?

He knows him better than Hobi when it comes to performing?

Actual dance leader.

He knows him better than JK when it comes to performing?

The man that literally said this:

But seriously, this is the person that spent hours on end practicing with JM. The person that seeks him out on stage. The person that knows his every move, knows when he's in pain, knows when he is struggling.

Yeah, no matter which what way you spin it, Yoongi is not the one "who knows Jimin better than anyone when it comes to performing".

Wait, be patient with me. I have one more little thing I have to vent about before moving on.

This:

I can only imagine the talk down his bf gave him at home after this. "We're all grown ups, what are you doing?..."

Just like here:

Start at 0:49 seconds. JK talking about JM's live, not listening to Unholy.

I'm with you on this JK.

The need to apologize or pre-warn fans about a little touchy choreography with a woman, god forbid (oh, and btw, in the Korean side of this choreo the men were not touching JM, cause that's way worse, right?).

This is something I would love JM to get over, grow out of, but to tell you the truth, not holding my breath.

Ok, now that all my complaining is done with, let's move on to the fun part.

Now is the time to appreciate the 2 hyungs who came to support him. Yoongi for his first recording and Hobi for the last show.

Hobi's letter. That man is the sweetest man ever. I love him so much and miss him terribly. Can't even imagine how much JM and JK are missing him (I'm gonna add Tae here too, their bond is really underestimated).

And JM's reaction to it all. Priceless. Man cannot allow himself to get emotional on camera. The level of deflecting going on, lol.

We don't see too much of the work process but it's clear that JM pushes himself, most likely too hard (time to mention once again the time restraints that had him over exerting himself). And by the end of it you can see that his chronic pain is playing up, with the visible taping on his arm and shoulder.

I actually think it was way worse. He was REALLY suffering.

Do you notice what he's doing there with his left arm?

😭😭

The level of dedication and work ethic...

Man is absolutely stunning.

And an angel to top it off.

I truly love this young man.

Whoever gets to be with him has won the lottery.

Oh wait, we already have a lottery winner.

[turnstechgodhead]

ok to the anon thats talkin w me about mental eelness and bro and the "knight of time" line:

id post your entire ask but its Very Long and im struggling to answer all of it in a way that isnt fucking with my head and anxiety so im going to answer with only the character analysis stuff HERE on this post my apologies

for the record i dont even remotely know how to begin tagging this mess down here and i really think itd be better suited for my nsfw blog but yall aint asking about this on that blog which is fair take care of yourselves

JSYK it's stuff about brocal/intrusive thoughts about inc st and c s a SO kids please avert your eyes for my comfort thank YOU

i dont personally have ocd afaik but as someone who Has intrusive thoughts (actual horrifying ones that dirk, gabe and i have to beat back with a stick, not the ones kids think are intrusive thoughts today)

i definitely think that's how bro approaches raising dave; overcompensating for the accusations from his mind and cal[iborn] leading to total icing him out

okay same anon who was asking abt the “i was raising the knight of time” line. you saying “caliborn made [bro] believe that platonic affection is in fact not platonic at all and is instead sexual[the implications when bro is constantly carrying around cal with his arms around his neck btw. insane.]” is fascinating. is this based off the fact that caliborn thinks even hugging or a kiss on the cheek is “filthy?” it makes me think about ocd/bipolar disorder/misc mental illnesses and intrusive thoughts. i have bipolar and im a huge softie for kids but my intrusive thoughts sometimes try to convince me that my affection is somehow sinister.

YES very much

i need to describe to you my thoughts on brocal really quick bc i think that'll help put it in perspective and idk how else to talk about it;

heres the thing

cal is both bro's boyfriend and his fucking family okay

imagine you're a kid and you have this puppet friend that speaks to you using silly words and tells you that you should eat glass maybe :) or cut your fingers off or tear off your own head and hes the only thing thats taking care of you as a person even if hes mean

he tells you that people touching is inappropriate and vulgar and he cant believe theyre doing that in public (but its okay if we hug and cuddle you know?)

but also as you grow up this puppet starts calling you weird shit like stud or hunky or what the hell ever and maybe. youre going to kiss him

this puppet is the only thing you care about because hes the only thing that cares about you youve been with him for years and years and he talks to you and hes all that matters and now youre obsessed with him and you dont know when that happened but you have an obsessive personality anyway

youll do anything for him. (let me kill for you)

hes the only person you love because you dont love roxy this way (consuming, overwhelming, obligating to do what he wants, because he's all you have)

and well shit

if cals telling you that youre a freak for wanting to cuddle on the baby like you did that once (call it the knight it helps keep your distance) then i guess you're a fucking freak because its not even your right to treat it as family anyway; it's bigger than you. it's more than you will ever be and you need to make sure it doesn't fucking die and apparently that involves at least a little bit of affection cal please understand(what a disgusting species)