#prolly gonna write a fic about it or something here soon

[gayhoediaz]

i'm so invested in you writing something darker!! 911 if you feel like it but i'm such a fan of your writing that the fandom prolly wouldn't matter

cannibalism and necrophilia and the inherent eroticism of taking someone's life i'm. yeah. this is a judgement free zone, right?

i love this ask so much and it’s always incredibly flattering to hear that people are so invested that they would be willing to cross fandoms it’s the highest compliment ever ♡ i still am absolutely planning on writing cnc for buddie, but i’ve had that plan for over a year so when that will be, i can’t tell you!

in the mean time, i would suggest taking a look at the lamb, because a lot of this dark stuff will be in there, and i’m very much still working on it, weewoo season is just taking up a lot of my time atm! as soon as we’re on hiatus again, that fic is gonna be my main priority.

here, have the first paragraph of the next chapter:

Years later - decades later - after bloodbath after bloodbath, after nights spent on the bathroom floor cradling each other, after nights spent in bed clinging to each other as if they’re jumping out of an airplane without a parachute; after horrific tales told to him about a childhood long gone; after exchanged wedding rings, after branding his own initials into scars from childhood abuse in an attempt to take away some of the pain - after Ignacio Varga and Eduardo Salamanca are officially, legally deceased - Martin Cavallo will get nauseous at the admission, but the truth is that Nacho didn’t truly start falling in love with Lalo - until Lalo started falling apart.

[lcs-library]

Short fluffy fic for @ashipiko about her sillies<33333 It’s pre-relationship and has a sort of “fell first, fell harder” dynamic, so I hope you enjoy hehe they were so fun to write!!!

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! Please? Because I’m the coolest and you love me so much?” Ashi pleaded, clasping her hands together and giving Azami the biggest puppy dog eyes she could muster. Even still, she couldn’t disregard the slight blush dotting his cheeks at the l-word.

“…Fine.” Azami accepted after some hesitation, having to turn away to protect himself from getting ten times more flustered than he already was at her antics.

“Yay!” She cheered, dropping the cute act to throw her hands in the air with glee. “We’re gonna have loads of fun, prommy!” She said with a wink.

As it had turned out, her cousins had managed to get a couple of tickets to a new museum in Veludo through some connections. Apparently, it was meant to combine both art and general history, but she decided it wouldn’t be much fun on her own, so who better to take than Azamin? He mentioned liking history one time, right? And Ashi could look at the art! Win-win!

When they arrived(with Azami having to practically spring after Ashi), they were met with a grand exterior, showcasing the large “grand opening” banner. The two gawked for but a moment before Ashi dragged her friend inside by the wrist eagerly, grinning like a madman.

It may have been a good thing that she didn’t see the wreck Azami had become at the simple affection. Not even that, but the fact that she was so casual about it? He could barely comprehend how she didn’t think anything of it.

Once their tickets were accepted and they entered the lobby, Ashi turned to Azami.

“So, where to first? You’ve prolly got better taste in this stuff than I do, Azamin!” She exclaimed, squeezing his hand slightly, only deepening the hues on Azami’s cheeks.

“They’ve got dinosaur bones, so, uh, let’s see those.” Azami replied quietly, avoiding eye contact.

“Dinos, huh? Okay! Sounds super hypesies!” Ashi beamed, throwing up a peace sign before dragging Azami across the museum to find the exhibit.

Azami really wished he could let go. This was completely, utterly, totally improper, even if they were just friends. That didn’t change the fact that it was gross! And in public? What would other people think?

And yet, it felt…nice? To age someone who genuinely wanted to spend time with him was something new. To be connected to someone both physically and emotionally was something he had to admit he missed, even just a little.

Then, all of a sudden, someone who wants it just as much as he does shows up and thing actually start to feel alright? Not only that, but she had a similar mentality about age and how they were treated because of it? It all clicked together a little too perfectly, like they were made for each other.

Wait, why was his heart beating faster at the thought?

“Azamin?” Ashi’s voice interrupted his thoughts. Oh, no, now it was hard to look at her. Shit. He put on a brave face and responded as best as he could.

“What’s up?” A voice crack. Why, God?

“We’re here!”

So they were. Azami gazed around the room, taking everything in.

He almost looked like a little kid in the way his eyes shined, Ashi thought. It was cute, something rare for him.

Soon, she found herself skipping after Azami as he prattled on and on about every single creature, giving her an endless supply of facts as she supported him.

“Where’d you learn all of these, Azamin? They’re, like, super cool!”

“I just liked ‘em as a kid…” he muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he realized how he was acting.

God, he was so adorable, Ashi couldn’t stand it. She let out a hearty chuckle as he tried not to let her feelings show, lest Azami kill her for seeing him like this.

“You done here?” She asked cheerfully.

“Yeah. Let’s go see the paintings you wanted.”

“Okie! Race you there!” She dashed off.

“Wh- hey! You shouldn’t do that here!” Azami cried, rushing after her.

[chuuyrr]

I absolutely LOVE your Scarlet Witch series! It's so cute, especially the Tokyo Rev Crossovers omg q(≧▽≦q) Speaking of that, that's actually my request! A scenario where reader and the firsts years save Toman from a grade 1 cursed spirit? If possible, taking place in the Mikey x Reader fic you've previously created? Then after they're saved it's like a little wholesome greeting? Thank you and hope you have a good day/night/afternoon ~(=^‥^)ノ

scarlet witch! fushiguro! reader saves toman together with megumi, yuuji, and nobara

jujutsu kaisen x reader x tokyo revengers

masterlist of the series

warning(s): possible spoilers for jjk and tokyo revengers, mentions of violence, injury & blood

i'm glad you love the series! thank you so much for requesting and the feedback, tbh jjk x tokyo revengers requests are a favorite of mine to write (prolly bc i simp for mikey 😭) enjoy reading this prompt <3

before you read: as mentioned in the request above, this written work is a jjk x tokyo revengers crossover and it takes place in the same universe wherein scarlet fushiguro reader is a teenager and is dating mikey.

mikey and the rest of toman already knew about the existence of cursed spirits thanks to you, from how they are created and how they can cause harm to jujutsu sorcerers and non-jujutsu sorcerers alike. it was something that toman had learned to be careful of asides from unnecessary gang fights but never have they thought they would ever encounter one and it just had to be a high leveled curse too.

you were supposed to meet up your boyfriend, mikey, after toman's fight with another gang this afternoon when your phone chimed, indicating a call.

you immediately picked up your phone, thinking it was mikey. "hey, mikey. how did the fight go? are you guys alri—but instead of hearing your boyfriend's voice, you were cut off by gojo's voice.

"kikufuku? it's dad."

"hey, dad! sorry, i thought you were mikey." you smiled sheepishly. "what's up?"

"[name] this is urgent, i'm gonna need you and the first years take on a mission right now asap. i'll send you the location, go meet up with your brother and his friends there." gojo's orders alarmed you. it's been a long while since you've gotten yourself a mission. if it's one thing, you knew they only tag you along when it's a curse they can't easily exorcise or when there are a number of victims involved that only your power can solve.

"on it, dad! i'll be there in second."

"be careful, alright?"

"i will dad, love you."

"love you too, kikufuku."

with that, you ended your call with your father and checked the location that he sent you through text. the feeling of dread washed over you when you saw where it was—it was the place where toman was supposed to fight. panic rising your throat, you searched for mikey's number and dialed as you utilized your chaos magic to teleport you to the said place.

"come on, mikey. pick up, pick up. please." you muttered to yourself.

looking around as soon as you arrived at the abandoned parking lot and to your surprise, you could feel multiple presences that weren't visible to the naked eye. mikey and the rest of his comrades were here, but not quite. and it wasn't just their presence, you feel an immense cursed energy radiating from the area which could only mean one thing—they were trapped in a curse's domain.

the number you have dialed cannot be reached, please try again later. the phone stated.

"fuck." you cursed audibly, "mikey's not answering."

"[name]-chan!" "[name]!"

turning around, you saw megumi, yuji and nobara hop off the black vehicle and make their way towards you. running up to them, you shoveled your phone back in your pocket. "guys, bad news. the curse took mikey and toman. i can feel their presence along with the curse."

"all of toman?" megumi inquired, which you nodded your head at. "all one hundred fifty of them."

"that's a lot of people." yuji's eyes widened at your answer.

"mikey told me they were fighting a gang today, so everyone's here." you shook your head, involuntarily biting your lip from worry. "we need to get to them fast, they're probably injured from the gang fight and knowing them—they must have attempted to fight the curse."

"we'll save them, it will be okay. we're with you [name]-chan." nobara ruffled your hair comfortingly, reassuring you with a determined smile.

once a veil had been set to cover the entire abandoned parking lot, you put your chaos magic into play. with red glowing eyes and hands, you and the first years were able to find and enter the innate domain. megumi, yuji and nobara were reminded of their past mission that was very similar to this current one. the domain was big with lots of corridors and overlapping foundations.

"this presence—it's a special grade curse. it's no longer a grade 1." you informed the first years as they trailed after you, running.

after for what seemed like hours of running without any lead, you began to break through the walls of the domain with projectiles of red psionics. the domain turned out to be too big for you to be able to locate mikey and the others properly despite your high sensitivity to energies. wall after wall, you finally found the place where they have been trapped.

"there they are!" nobara pointed at toman members from a distance.

before the four of you could come close and reach them, a pure cursed energy was unleashed at your way. you generated a force field out of your psionics right on cue, shielding you, megumi, yuji and nobara. once the smoke from the collision of the cursed energy and your chaos magic dispersed, you broke down the force field and came face-to-face with the curse who dared to hurt your boyfriend and his gang.

looking past the curse standing in your way, your eyes met mikey's. your stomach churned at the sight of him battered and bloody. in fact, all of them were in casualties, even draken and the captains. just as you had anticipated, they most likely tried fighting the curse, but was rendered powerless. they didn't have jujutsu or chaos magic like you to hurt the curse.

caught off guard, you flung backwards from an attack sent at your way in a blink of an eye. yuji immediately reacted, running to you on time and caught you before you could hit your head as megumi and nobara readied putting themselves in front of you two as the curse proceeded to attack.

yuji's eyes widened as they darted towards the bleeding, open wound the curse gashed across your torso. "[name]!" he yelled in a worry.

wincing in pain, you twitched your fingers and used your chaos magic to stitch yourself up as you got off from salmon pink haired boy's arms. "i'm fine, thank you yuji-nii."

once you had patched yourself enough to maneuver again, you lunged towards the curse together with yuji. using your chaos magic, you made the curse's attacks towards megumi and nobara miss right before it almost got them. with your aid, you paved the three an opening. yuji used black flash and severed the curse's arm. megumi made his divine dog bite the curse's leg as nobara made use of jujutsu imbued nails, launching them towards the curse's torso.

a barely conscious mikey and gang members watched in awe at the scene before them. although your boyfriend has met your brother and his friends before, he had never seen them in action. even you—this is was the first time he and everyone saw you fought off a cursed spirit. you saving mikey and fighting against those delinquents was nothing compared to what you were doing right now. you were agile and seasoned in fighting; synchronized with the other three jujutsu sorcerers.

before the special grade curse could do anymore damage, you delivered the final blow—you sent a large blast of red psionics imbued with black streaks. the entire place trembled at the intensity of your power. once the curse was reduced to nothing, you landed back on your feet after attacking the curse from mid-air, slightly panting from exhaustion.

the toman members were not just in awe, they were petrified—well, just a bit. they just never thought their leader's significant other could be this terrifyingly strong. you were always seen smiling, laughing and being kind to others. this side you were displaying constrasted that.

once the innate domain had broke down and with the mission accomplished, you reunited with mikey. megumi, nobara and yuji watched and smiled at the sight of you embracing. you proceeded to tend to their casualties afterwards, helping severely injured members' bleeding stop. as you diverted your attention towards them, you caught the captains, along with mikey, draken, takemichi and the other members, talking to megumi, nobara and yuji.

monetarily glancing at them, you watched as they conversed with one another. exchanging warm greetings, thanks and compliments. you couldn't help but smile to yourself, recalling how they reacted when they first found out how you were dating a gang leader.

you could tell how megumi, yuji and nobara's impression on these delinquents changed as soon as they got to meet and talk to them more casually at this moment. they realized how these young boys saw each other as family and how they fought to protect each other. it made your heart incredibly happy to see them warm up to toman and not just mikey.

you continued to watch toman and the first years interact with one another as you tended the last member with your chaos magic, smiling as you listened to their wholesome conversations. you listened to mikey, draken and mitsuya introduce everyone to megumi, yuji and nobara; chifuyu, takemichi and angry commented how cool and strong jujutsu sorcerers were; baji and pah-chin wanting to fight just like them; other members thanking them endlessly and then there was nobara and yuji who suddenly wanted to join the gang after hearing toman's stories and seeing how genuinely nice they were despite being delinquents.

"[name]! help me out here, kugisaki and itadori wants to be gangsters!" megumi hollered at you, prompting to you laugh at their antics.

[aruuq]

this is gonna be a long post. TOKREV SPOILERS 237

WHY DOES HE LOOK SO HANDSOME HERE. I mean. I know he’s handsome, BUT THIS PANEL. JAIL. ILLEGAL.

NEXT ONE. SCUZE ME. HE HITS MY HEART JUST LIKE PEH TWO CHAPTERS BEFORE. IM NOT FEELING GOOD.

SO PRECIOUS.. ADORABLE. SWEET. LEMME SQUISH SQUISH THESE CHEEKS OF HIM. HE’S AMAZING. AND LOVELY. oh, and here’s Chifuyu too...

NO, BUT HONESTLY. BOTH OF THEM ARE SOOOOO AMAZINGLY CUTE HERE. CHIFUYU LOOKS LIKE A KITTY AND I LIVE FOR THIS

big flashbacks to times where the whole gang dissed mikey about the whole “tokyo manjiro” gang name

he’s still trembling so much plssssss stop baby

the definition of my last three braincells istg

OKAY. WHOAH WHOAH SIR. PLEASE. CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN. WE STILL HAVE A WHOLE ASS SHOW TO CONDUCT. 

SERIOUSLY IF I COULD I WOULD WRITE A WHOLE ASS ESSEY ABOUT THIS BITCH OVER HERE. HE LOOKS SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. IM SCREAMING SHAKING THROWING UP. LIKE. HE’S MY FAVORITE FOR A REASON DUH, BUT THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO THROW IT AT ME LIKE THIS. (wait for me writing sumn fics with him, bcs, uhhh, i think i will...)

ALSO. HIS GLOVES. DELICIOUS. BUT THE FUCKING ZIPPER????? WHY ISN’T IT FULLY ZIPPED??? YOU WHORE??? YOUR CHEST’S SHOWING. LOOKS COLD. LEMME. LEMME GIVE YOU A HELPING HAND. HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

I wanna chomp him

yeahhhh tell ‘em

and this my dears is why this man is the most handsome out of the whole tokrev cast. you cannot tell me, YOU CANNOT tell me that this boy, these features, this smile, that he isn’t the hottest person in the whole cast. ig it’s in genes, ‘cause his sister was pretty hot too, ehe... ehehehehe... too soon to joke like this? 

it reminds me of this tiktok trend where people been punching random people’s door to the rhythm of this one song, and these girls who were doing it totally out of it. it’s koko. he prolly just banged without any consideration 

he looks like a puppy

THIS WHOLE FUCKING PAGE. I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT

Inupi must really like Takemichi, these seats are for sure not black and micchy’s covered in blood. and inupi just threw him like this without any blanket or anything. ahh, what a great friend inupi is

cat kitty cat cat kitty cat cat

OKAY BUT AFTER KOKO TOLD IT’S SANO MANJIRO’S ERA INUPI LOOKS SO ANNOYED AND ITS FUNNY

I want to write a fanfic between these two, but I don’t post here character x character content so me think it’s a time for making an ao3 account ehe

there’s something about this bitch’s character that i really love. he’s sooo well-written. i wanna have an ability to create characters like koko or izana or literally anyone from tokrev. but this one. it shows koko’s character soooooo welll. i love it

and this is it my bitches/bros/non-binary pals. this is it. i’m done. this chapter unalived my soul. koko’s smile. a genuine smile. i don’t want to sob but i want to

PLEASEEEEEE

IM SCREAMINGGGGG

here it is, my perfect boy

In conclusion, so far it’s my fav chapter. is it because there was mostly Inupi content and I love him? maybe. but who cares

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired Epilogue

chapter 12

It’s been fifteen years to the day since Cyrus disappeared without a trace. He and Arella had long since graduated from RAD alongside his brothers. They had gotten married and have three children together now. Mammon remembers back to when they told Cyrus he would be a big brother- how excited he had been to not be the only child in a house full of adults. Now his son would never have that experience and it was all Mammon’s fault so it’s here in the room he and Arella had saved for Cyrus that he sits.

Surrounded by everything that reminds him of the child he’d lost, the Avatar of Greed flips through a photo album that Levi had made in honor of the little one, eyes wet with fresh tears. This room stays locked for the entire year except for today. The twins know they’re not allowed in here, even if they don’t exactly know why and his youngest is too young to even care about the door that’s always locked. They never told their children about their older brother- it was far too painful for both him and Arella, neither of them having accepted that their son was really gone forever.

In the aftermath of losing his heir, Mammon had become extremely over-protective of the twins and Mahlon. He would never allow this to happen again- he might actually die from a broken heart if he were to lose another child due to his carelessness.

“I wish I knew where ya were...” his voice catches in his throat. “I know you’re alive- that you’re out there... somewhere... I can feel it.”

And that was the sad truth of it all. As the years went on, he’d watched carefully over his only daughter, Azalea. If Cyrus was truly gone, it would be her that would inherit his title and throne. But she never developed all the abilities necessary to be Mammon’s successor. With every year that passed without the development of those powers, the demon only became more certain that his oldest was still alive.

For as overjoyed as he would be for Cyrus to return, he knew it would only cause friction in their little family. Azalea had gone her entire life thinking she was meant to be her father’s successor. She always took pride in it and Mammon now feared that the revelation that she was never meant to be would destroy his daughter’s world. Another thing that was his fault. She had assumed all this because he and Arella couldn’t find a way to break it to her.

Things were already tense between them after the birth of her youngest brother. She had pulled away from them in fear that she was being replaced and they didn’t want to lose her completely now. Azalea was considered a trouble maker to anyone who didn’t know the real her, often getting herself into more fights than anyone could count. If they told their daughter the truth now, she would think they were taking the position away from her and giving it to one of her brothers as punishment. Mammon and Arella were still trying to convince her that she wasn’t being replaced- that they still loved her regardless of all the trouble she gets into on a regular basis but it hadn’t been working.

And it was now, Mammon realized all the mistakes he’d made in not biting the bullet in talking about Cyrus. The white-haired demon resolves to tell them today when they come home for dinner as they did every Friday night since they’d moved into the House of Lamentation after they had gone off to RAD. He wondered how they would take the news. Would it be shock? Anger? It had to be now or never.

As the front door opened, Mammon perked up. He could hear the twins whispering amongst themselves, neither wanting to risk waking their little brother and then there was a soft gasp from the both of them.

“Zay, the door to that room’s open,” it’s Aurelius’ voice that sounds first.

“Mum and Dad don’t want us seein’ what’s in there so we should prolly jus’ avoid it. There’s a reason it’s always locked...”

He was about to call them into the room when his D.D.D. rang. It was a call from Lucifer so he answered.

“You need to come to the House of Lamentation as soon as you can.” and then the call cut off- not even a good bye which only served to worry the Avatar of Greed.

Mammon’s first fear was that something had happened to his wife on her return trip from the mortal world. He hoped it wasn’t that. As he got up, he left the door to Cyrus’ room open.

“Hey, I have to go to the House of Lamentation really quick, can ya stay with your brother, please?” The demon knows he should have waited for a response from the teenagers but this was an emergency in his mind. He needed to be quick.

Azalea and Aurelius only exchanged a confused look before Azalea called after their father. “Wait, I wanna go too!” And off she ran after him.

------------------------------------------------------

“Damn, at least slow down, Old Man!” She shouts although she doubted he could actually hear her with the wind in his ears. Azalea was having a hell of a time keeping up with Mammon as she hopped from roof top to roof top, having to transform into her demon form to even have a chance at keeping up with her father. She really wishes she was born with wings as like her twin.

As the pair reached the doors of the House of Lamentation, Azalea tries to catch her breath and as Mammon pushes open the doors open, their breaths catch in the throats at the sight before them. There, sitting on the floor having Arella using healing magic to tend to the nasty cut on his cheek, was Cyrus.

The Avatar of Greed rushes forward quickly, a million thoughts racing through his mind as he embraced his son in a tight hug. He doesn’t even know where to start with his words, he was so relieved to see Cyrus safe and mostly unharmed as he pulled back to inspect him.

He’s mostly unchanged but his white hair had grown out a considerable length, tipped with black indicating that it had been dyed at some point and as expected he had grown- nearly as tall as his father now.

“What happened to you?” Mammon’s voice is soft, “Do ya know how worried we were? Where did you go?”

Cyrus couldn’t answer. Instead, he just wrapped his parents in a tight hug as he cried and cried. He just buried his face in their shoulders as they rubbed his back.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, Baby.” Arella said as she held back tears. “It’s okay. You’re home now. You’re safe now.”

Azalea just stood in the doorway as she watched her parents. She didn’t know what to think. It felt like her whole world was crashing down around her. Who was this person her parents were fussing over? When it finally clicked in her mind that she had an older brother- that she wasn’t her father’s heir- she sank to her knees. Great, she thought, yet another person to compete against for Mum and Dad’s love.

“Azalea?” Lucifer's voice called as he knelt next to her. “Are you alright?” He can tell something’s not right with the girl.

“I....” she turns her head, “I.... I don’t know. I... Why didn’t they tell us about him?”

“When you lose someone you love, sometimes it can be very hard to talk about them. Especially when you can’t accept that they were lost.” The Avatar of Pride stands his niece up, letting her hold onto him for support- for grounding. “Your parents have wanted to tell you for some time, but they just couldn’t bring themselves to. They didn’t mean to deceive you.”

Even with her uncle’s words, Azalea was still unsure. She just wants to escape right now, feeling like she was suffocating. “I... I think I’m gonna hang out in my room right now. I need some space.” With that she dashes up the stairs, an action not unnoticed by her parents.

------------------------------------------------------

“Azalea, can we talk?” Arella opens the door to her daughter’s room- the one that had once been her husband’s.

“Yeah,” The girl says softly as she thumbs through a book absentmindedly.

Arella takes a seat next to her daughter as she opens her arms for her, a little relieved when the half-demon takes the invitation, the book discarded to the side as she buried her face in her mother’s chest.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me that I wasn’t....”

“We weren’t sure how- at least with you, my little flower.” She runs her hands through her daughter’s hair. “We didn’t want you to think we were punishing you in the worst way possible...”

“So what happens next for me? What’s my purpose now?”

“I’m afraid that’s something you have to discover on your own. You’ll find it one day, but you’re free now from the weight that your father’s title brings. You can be whatever you want.”

“Do you and Dad still love me? Am I good enough...?”

“Of course we do. We will always love you, princess. You are enough for us so don’t worry, okay?” She presses a kiss to the top of Azalea’s head. “We’re heading home now, okay? It's time for dinner and we can’t leave your brothers waiting.”

Azalea nods as she rises from the couch and they head out to meet Mammon and Cyrus. As the four of them walk home, everything feels right once more. With Cyrus back, their family finally feels complete.

------------------------------------------------------

And so the story has a happy ending. I could possibly do another fic all bout how Azalea copes with not being Mammon’s successor anymore but I haven’t decided yet. I’m going to write a tumblr exclusive fic for Aurelius first instead of a comic before I do any of that though.

find more on my masterlist

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[bl--ankhaeji]

Lucky One (Donghyuck)

Pairing ~ Donghyuck x Reader 

Genre ~ Fluffyyyy

Warning ~ I really dont have anything to warn about. Except for that I wrote this one in an hour again so there may be misspelled anything(literally just had to correct misspelled words while writing this part) 

A/N ~ Another one of my bursts of inspiration again. I was laying in bed and reading something where the reader rubbed lotion on Jaehyun and this came to mind. Also hyuckie baby has been working really hard lately and I’ve been worried about him so I felt he deserved this.

W.Count ~ i’ve been neglecting word count on my past fics and honestly i’m prolly boutta do it on this one...sorry

The steam from the tub rose, creating a thin layer of fog to cover the room. Feeling the condensation start to clump on your face the heat causing you to let out a sigh. The bag of lavender scented bath salt sat on the side of the tub still slightly open from when you poured some over into the water. You had also emptied a packet of powdered bath milk into the steaming element making it turn a thin almost see through white. 

 The door to the apartment opens and then closes with a soft slam. “Babe, I’m home.” the tired lifeless words fall from Hyuck’s beautiful heart shaped lips. 

“In the bathroom!” You yell, taking a step back admiring your work. Rushing to the bedroom you two sleep in you see the weary boy laying face down on the bed, his bag half haphazardly thrown across the room. You crawl next to him laying down in the process facing each other. 

“Hey baby. How was your day at the store?” he questioned you.

You owned a music store, selling vinyls and used guitars and other things, but those two are how you met Hyuck. He accompanied Jaehyun one day to buy vinyls to which you later learned was because he promised to buy a meal for the boy and then another time he came with Jeno and Mark looking for guitars that’s when he asked you out and that’s how you two started. 

“My day was fine, a little slow though. How was yours beloved?” you smiled at the man across from you, just looking at him brought a smile to your face. 

“My day was tiring as usual lately. We have two music shows to prepare for and a weekly idol episode to film for 127. I know this is the life I asked for and I love it. I truly do, it's just sometimes it gets so draining and with both 127 and dream having comebacks back to back I’ve been running around a lot lately.” Seeing the exhaustion in his eyes and hearing the fatigue in his voice you knew that you planned perfectly. You love Donghyuck or as the rest of the world knows him, Haechan, and you love that he is happy doing what he loves, but even you know that this lifestyle can get really tiring that’s why you try to make things as relaxing as possible when he has time.

“Well it looks like you’re just in luck boy. You can thank me now for being the best girlfriend ever. I accept gifts only in the form of 100s thank you.” You say getting up off of the bed, softly slapping his back proceeding to drag him up. “Come on now, get up and look at what I’ve prepared for you baby.”

A giggle leaves his lips as he starts to follow you to the bathroom. Upon entering he is hit with the warm scent of apples. “What is all of this?” He asks with a smile noticeably creeping onto his face. 

“This” you start motioning to the still steaming water filled tub and yourself, “Is your personal relaxation spa for tonight. I know you’ve been very busy lately with everything you have going on and I just wanted to make a night where I can cater to you and help you unwind from everything.”

The look he gives you is filled with an insurmountable amount of love. It’s like he can feel himself falling the more he looks at the giddy grin on your face. Walking over to you he cradles your face in his hands and looks you in the eyes before planting a kiss so sweet you can feel your blood sugar rising. 

Breaking the kiss he starts to strip, nothing but the sound of his clothes and hitched breath from you is heard. His honey skin glows in the soft lighting of the room, no matter how many times you see him naked it will always surprise you just how beautiful he is. 

The sound of the water moving and a low hiss takes you out of your trance. Donghyuck can already feel the tension in his muscles loosening up, washing him in a serene calm. He hears you move behind him, to which he opens his eyes he didn’t even know were closed. 

“Tilt your head back for me beloved. I’m about to wash your hair.” And Hyuck’ll be damned if he didn’t immediately let you lather the shampoo on his scalp. He loved whenever you washed his hair, the feeling of you leisurely scratching his scalp whilst also managing to massage it always made his body as limp as a noodle. 

Grabbing a bowl you fill it with water and rinse out the shampoo. “Ok I’m-” “Nonono.” Hyuck whines grabbing your wrist preventing you from leaving his head. A laugh leaves your lips and you start back massaging his scalp. “At least wash yourself while I’m doing this, or we’ll be here all night unless you want me to do that too.” 

At your off the wet male looks up at you with a cheeky smirk and a face that basically screamed ‘Aye if you want I’m not gonna stop you’ “I would hit you right now, you better be glad this is supposed to be about you.” 

Releasing a boisterous laugh he starts to wash his body. 

~

Donghyuck stayed in the bath until the water got cold. You both were just sitting there laughing and talking about random things. Watching him dry off you head to the bedroom where you tell him to follow you after he put on his boxers. 

Pulling out the body oils you bought earlier that day you lay them on the bedside table. “What do you have planned now?” He questions looking at you sitting on the bed, waiting for him. 

“I told you I’m your personal spa. How can you have a spa day without a massage?”  

“My baby just went all out for me didn’t you?” He coos pinching your cheeks moving to lay on the bed. “I feel sorta bad I’m supposed to take care of you like this-” 

“Na-ah don’t come up in here with those gender standards mister. There is no what you’re ‘supposed to do’ we take care of each other, we love each other and dammit if I wanna take care of my baby boy and reward him for working so hard then I will.” 

Sitting on his booty you feel him clench his butt cheeks causing you to move faintly. A giggle falls from your lips smacking his back telling him to stop. The oil runs from the bottle onto his skin, layering the tissue in a thin layer of the shiny gloss. You work your hands, gently yet firmly pressing into the knots littering underneath. 

Pressing into his back you hear a groan leave his lips. “Fuckkkk that hurts but feels so good.” With a pleased smirk set upon your lips you gather more oil in your hands rubbing them together and then massaging it into his upper back. Near his shoulder blade you feel a pretty big knot. 

“Damn, this one might hurt. Im sorry.” You start slowly working away the almost physical form of stress. A high pitched whine leaves his lips as you really start to dig into the knot. Feeling it give way finally clearing it up entirely, you sit back on his thighs, a relieved sigh leaving Hyuck’s moistened lips. “Thank you, I’ve actually been hurting a little in that shoulder and it feels a lot better baby.  

Putting more oil along his back you start to move lower. The dimples above his butt indenting, you spot the cute mole on his left butt cheek fighting the urge to poke it, you move your fingers smoothly across his back. 

“Do you want me to massage your legs beloved?” 

Asking you to stand up Hyuck starts to put on his shirt,“No baby that’s ok. You’ve done a lot already and I feel so much better. You really are like a persona spa.” He says wrapping his arms around your torso, dragging you to lay on the bed next to him. 

“Let me turn on a movie.” you turn on Netflix and pick a random movie because you already know you and Hyuck will be sleeping anytime soon. You feel the beautiful male lay his head on your breasts snuggling up to you as the movie starts. 

A few minutes into the movie he tilts his head up looking at you, leaning up he plants a firm passionate kiss on your lips. “I love you baby. Thank you so much for being mine, I’m so lucky to have you.” he says in a hoarse deep voice filled with pre-sleep. “I love you too baby and it’s funny you think that because I swear everyday I’m the lucky one.”             

[commanderserwin]

BAEBEEE I KISS YOU SO SO MUCH YOU ARE MAKING THIS ERWIN SIMP CRRYY CRYYY FOR MISSING YOU SO BADDDD 😭😭😭😭

Anyways this is erwin simp reporting!!! I just had a very good sleep because I dreamed of Erwin my love the light of my life. In my dream he was sick. So hange forced him to take a dayoff and they forced levi to be incharge. Im just a nobody noone dunno if im a scout cadet. It just feels like im just someone who works there. Anyways, in my dream i snucked in the commanders room. I feel so sad looking at him so haggard and tired. Even sleeping hes frowning and sweating. So i tried to sooth him by caressing his hair. Noticing its doing wonders to ease him i thought "might aswell sleep with him" like "dont ya worry self you just need not to fell asleep and if ya did i can just wake up early and snuck outta here again wink wink" so there i layed beside him. His head on my shoulders. I took his hand, hold it to my chest yupp and i had a good rest too then, still dreaming, i woke up to him awake still head on my shoulders but looking at me still holding hands. I said "well hi guess i got busted eyy lemme lemme quietly get out alright commander" 😂😂😂😂😂 he just smiled said no its alright and hold my hand tighter then I FUKIN WOKEN UP DAMNITTTTTT IT FELT LIKE WE GONNA KISS DAMN IT!!!! DAMN!!!! ANYWAYS ITS STILL A GOOD DREAM I LOVE IT AND WILL DOREVER CHEERISH IT IN MY HEART AND WILL PROLLY TELL THIS STORY TO MY GRAND CHILDREN AHHAHAHAHAHA I KISS YOU BAEBEEE I MISS YOUUUUU 😭😭😭😭

Also you might remember i said i have a surprise for you yes i do really have its just taking so long ive been redrawing shit because it doesnt look right and its nothing special just a lil sketch 😂😂😂 but soon baebee im gonna go off anon and we gonna simp together i miss you again please come back 😭😭😭

-erwin simp

OH MY BABY BABY!!!!!!!

i’m so sorry for being gone for a long time, i don’t know when i’ll be able to write again,,,, who knows but i missed u too! i missed reading your wild asks and the wonderful vibes u put on this blog 😽 i hope you are doing fine my darling erwin simp!

AND AS FOR YOUR DREAM,,,, HELLO HELLO MAY I REQUEST AND ERWIN FIC FROM YOU??????? READING THAT MADE ME MISS ERWIN SO MUCH :////////// SOMETHING ABOUT THAT OOPS I GOT CAUGHT 👁👄👁 OH BUT HE HELD MY HAND 😧 I GUESS I’LL STAY 😎🥴 U JUST MADE ME MISS HIM AND NOW i hate going on his damn page and seeing the word deceased lmao 🥲 like,,, let’s bring him back lads i don’t know how but ya know let’s do it but sigh

but anyway, i miss u. i miss u. i miss u! i promise i will be back soon, and who knows might probably post that erwin draft that’s been collecting dust since forever just to get back to things. i miss u my artist erwin simp and whatever art surprise that is,,, I WILL EAT IT ALL UP! I AM EXCITED FOR WHAT U HAVE BEEN DRAWING 😽😽😽 AND ALSO EXCITED TO SCREAM ABOUT IT!!!

[midnightluck]

minific: it’ll pass

hi i still don’t like this but i did write it so have a quick fic about idiot children with a predisposition for losing their breath when they lose their heart.

---

“Hey, you okay?”

Sabo stares at his palm and then looks up. “I’m fine,” he says, and spits to the side. “You find anything?”

“Nah,” Ace says, swinging down out of the tree and hitting the ground in a crouch. “Tracked the birds; didn’t find nothin’.”

“Anything,” he corrects absently, then squints up at the sun. “Time to head back, then?”

“Gonna hafta,” Ace says, looking that way too. “We prolly got time enough.”

“Yeah,” Sabo agrees, then takes a step forward. Then one more, and a third before Ace starts moving and Sabo leans forward and takes off even before he gets out, “Race ya!”

Ace’s howl of “Unfair!” echoes behind him as he puts his head down and runs pellmell into the forest. He doesn’t have to be fair, he has to win, and he’s already gasping for breath as he twists around the big rock that separates the town from the forest, Ace right on his heels.

Ace overtakes him at the last and it's tanned fingers that slap the door of the Party Bar. "Ha!" Ace crows, and Sabo frowns at him and tries to catch his breath. "I won!"

"Yeah, yeah," Sabo grumbles, then shoves past him to push open the door. “Luffy! Luffy, you here?”

“Sabo!” Luffy’s voice floats back. “Ace! You came!”

“Course we did,” Ace says, swaggering in. “Didn’t doubt us, didja?”

“No!” Luffy protests, throwing his arm forward. It extends long past where it should have stopped and wraps around Ace, pulling him forward.

Ace goes, laughing, and Sabo hops up onto a stool at the bar. “Thank you for watching him,” he says, and Makino smiles.

“It’s my pleasure,” She says, turning around to the stove. "Pull up a chair, boys. There’s some food left if you're hungry."

"Thanks!" Ace says, and Sabo echoes him and muffles a cough in his clenched hand.

One cough turns into two, though, and Makino sets a glass of water in front of him as Ace pats his back.

“Thanks,” Sabo says when he can breathe again, and takes a sip of the water. 

The cold liquid hits his throat and instead of soothing the tickle, it becomes razorblades that stick and poke as he coughs, and he coughs and coughs and coughs.

“You sure you’re okay?” Ace says, one hand on his shoulder. “That sounds nasty.”

Sabo hunches forward, coughing into his hands until he can breathe and then propping himself on the bar and wheezing, “Just caught a summer cold. It’ll pass.”

“It will?” Luffy asks, leaning in to peer directly into Sabo’s face. “You’ll be okay?”

Sabo takes a deep breath, cuts his eyes to Ace, and then meets Luffy’s gaze. “I’ll be fine,” he says. “I promise.”

Luffy stares a second longer and then grins widely. “Okay! If you say so!”

Sabo wipes his hands on his pants and then pats Luffy on the head. “Yeah,” he says. 

“Hey! Is there more meat!?”

Ace meets Sabo’s eyes again and huffs a laugh. “Just put it on our tab, yeah?”

Sabo pushes the glass of water forward across the bar and Makino takes it and uses a rag to wipe off the bar and glass. “Yeah,” Sabo says, and manages a crooked smile.

Luffy cheers and bounces closer to the counter, and Ace leans in to say quietly, “You sure you’re okay, right?”

“Yeah,” Sabo says, and Makino freezes behind the bar. He meets her gaze over Ace’s shoulder and there’s petals on her rag and grief in her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

~@~

“You don’t have to lie, you know,” Ace says, leaning back on his hands.

“I don’t lie,” Sabo lies, glancing sideways at him.

Ace snorts and doesn’t say anything. He just waits, and sure enough, the clouds haven’t drifted halfway across the clearing when the tickle in Sabo’s throat creeps up and fills his mouth with the burning itch of a pending cough.

He bites it back as long as he can, but he has to cough eventually, into cupped hands. Warm fingers wrap around his wrists and tug his hands down even as he looks up into Ace’s eyes.

“You don’t have to lie,” Ace repeats. “This sickness, it’s--”

Sabo catches his breath, waiting. It’s obvious, is what this sickness is, and it’s embarrassing. There’s only one possible cause, after all. It’s needy and dramatic and likely to ruin the only escape Sabo has left in this world, and it’s unnecessary, and--

“It’s not getting better,” Ace says, staring down at the limp globs of parti-colored petal goop in Sabo’s hands.

Sabo closes his eyes and doesn’t pull away. “No,” he says, and waits.

“It’s getting worse. You’re coughing longer and more often.”

“Yeah.”

Ace inspects the petals, turning one of Sabo’s hands this way and that. “These are flower petals,” he says, and Sabo stops breathing.

Ace flicks his eyes up and says, “Is it some kind of allergy?” and Sabo sighs explosively.

“No, it’s--well, yeah, I guess. Something like that.”

“So you know what it is?”

“Yeah,” Sabo admits, and curls his fists closed. “It’s okay, Ace; don’t worry about it. It’ll pass.”

“You don’t have to lie,” Ace repeats, and Sabo quirks a small, crooked grin. 

“It’ll pass soon,” he says, ignoring the growing urge to cough and collapsing back onto the grass. “Hey, where’s Luffy?”

“Sent him to find treasure,” Ace says, and a whumph from the side tells Sabo Ace is laying flat too. “He wouldn’t shut up about a telescope or something? Told him if he wanted it, he had to find one.”

Sabo hums, letting time pass, and then says, “There’s probably one in the piles.”

“Probably,” Ace agrees.

There’s an even longer break where they both wait for the other to cave to the inevitable, and it’s Sabo who gives in first. “Wanna go look for one?”

“Yeah, all right,” Ace agrees and neither move.

It’s peaceful, laying there like that and watching the clouds blow by, and Sabo doesn’t move until it’s that or cough, and then he flips over with a groan and scrambles to his feet. “Let’s go then,” he says, offering a hand to Ace.

Ace makes unhappy grumble noises as well but lets Sabo pull him upright, and they meander out towards the Terminal.

Sabo does find a telescope, in the end, but not before his father finds him. He swallows down fear and flower petals and makes his decision, and he trails his father back to town with heavy feet and a heavier heart. He doesn’t look back, not even once, because he doesn’t want that sight in his memories, not Luffy crying or Ace glaring after him--

He nearly doubles over with the force of the coughs this time. It’s sudden and violent and rips out his chest like a tide, and he hacks and spits up enough petals to choke on.

The funny thing is, Sabo thinks, is that he had thought nothing else could go wrong, but when he looks up, wiping his mouth on the back of one hand, his father’s expression tells him he’s mistaken.

“Is that what I think it is?” Outlook Senior demands, and Sabo shuts his mouth. “Did you catch feelings?”

He says it like cancer, and it may as well be, Sabo thinks, watching and keeping his mouth shut. He can survive this, he can survive anything as long as his brothers are safe--

“This may actually be the best possible path,” his father muses, and Sabo’s heart kicks up as he blinks and thinks, trying to figure out why his father’s wearing his Victorious Business Acquisition face. How could this--

“Come along, son,” Outlook Senior says, clamping one hand onto Sabo’s shoulder and steering him forward. “We’ll set up an appointment for as soon as possible and the surgery soon after. Then you’ll be over this nonsense--”

Sabo’s ears stop along with his heart even as his feet move on autopilot. He knows what this is and what it means and that it’ll kill him slowly and painfully, but it’s his and he won’t let them cut out his flowers or his lungs or his heart.

Well, that makes his decision easy, really; he needs to get out of here, and he’s on a deadline. 

He swallows down the lingering taste of chlorophyll and starts making plans.

~@~

He wakes up, gasping, breathing deeply and cleanly, and something in his mind whispers wrong.

“What--” he wheezes, and there’s a hand pushing him back down.

“Easy, kid,” says a deep voice. “You almost drowned.”

Drowned--yes, that makes sense, explains the phantom feeling of constriction around lungs working overtime.

“Did I--” he starts, then coughs. He coughs for a long time, spitting out water and gunk and salt. It’s nasty and leaves his mouth sour and faintly green, and he feels unclean when he’s done.

“Don’t push it, kid,” the voice says. “You’ll heal. You know where you are?”

He shakes his head because opening his mouth seems like too much right now, but he doesn’t know where he is. He doesn’t know why he would have drowned, he doesn’t know--

“Who,” he croaks out, and then coughs again. “Who are you? Who am I?”

There’s a long moment of silence as his pulse beats in his ears and then the stranger who rescued him sighs. “You’re gonna be fine,” the voice promises. “We’ll find your family--”

“No!”

A longer pause, and he coughs up more goo. “No,” he says when he can breathe again, “please, no, I can’t go back--”

A discussion happens over his head while he coughs up half an ocean, at least, and then dry heaves until not even bile comes up. His fate is decided somewhere over his head during this process and he doesn’t even notice.

It works out, though, and Dragon gives him a purpose, a cause, and a home. He gives Sabo a new start and an old top hat, and Sabo wears gloves these days, and always carries a handkerchief, just in case.

He still doesn’t like flowers; there’s something about the smell that paints a bright, bitter flavor across his tongue and makes him breathe shallower. It’s probably an allergy or something; he gets minor attacks sometimes.

He can’t figure out the trigger because it’s happened out at sea, staring up at the clouds, with no plants in sight. He’ll just feel the squeeze in his chest, the tickle in his throat, and the buildup behind his eyes, and the taste will flood his mouth again.

It’s manageable, though, and not dangerous, not really. It doesn’t stop him from climbing the ranks and becoming the one of the youngest officers in the Revolutionary Army.

He’s still wary, though, so he keeps a weather eye on a small potted plant on the corner of a desk, years later, while waiting on his partner. 

“Hey,” she says, stepping out of the debriefing room. “New mission.”

“Yeah?” he says, letting the chair touch down again. It seems to be a straightforward mission, a bit of stealth and stealing, and he scans the folder and lets himself grin. “This’ll be a breeze,” he says then, and Koala huffs and rolls her eyes.

“Don’t cause trouble this time, okay?”

“Never do,” he says, grinning, and she sighs.

“You don’t have to lie, Sabo,” she says, and it may be the set of her chin or the angle of her mouth or the way she says it, but for a second Sabo could swear he hears it echo.

There’s a tickle in the back of his throat and he clears it once, closing his eyes for just a second. When he opens them again, warm brown eyes blink into his from far too close and there’s strong fingers wrapped around his wrist. “You sure you’re okay?” Koala asks, and Sabo coughs.

“Yeah,” he says, and coughs again, once, lightly. “Don’t worry, it’ll pass.”

It always does.

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

Let The Flames Begin (Chapter 4)

Let me know what you guys think of this so far. I currently have 10 chapters written, this story is just coming to me right now. If there's anything you’d like to see happen, let me know. If it fits the story I might use it as inspiration. I always love it when people suggest things to help me along.

I’m posting this as I go, so it should be once a day as long as I stay ahead of my writing. All my other Daryl fics (I think I have like 6 others?) I won’t post until I’ve completed them. So shout out to my awesome beta @rhyatt-deauxtreve for currently beta reading one of them for me so I can get it finished.

Also, I’m currently dying of food poisoning.

Pray for me :’)

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The Jackpot, that's what this place was. It wasn't just a roof over their heads, it was the fucking jackpot and Daryl couldn't believe their luck. After they checked the place for threats, Merle had rummaged through the cupboards and found it stocked full of food and even bottles of water. There was enough there to last them at least a week and Daryl felt the relief flood his body at the idea of just resting for a damn minute. Daryl had asked his brother if he had any ideas about how to reinforce the place. It was a rickety old wooden cabin, the wind would make it fall over if it picked up. He was concerned a hoard of the dead would come along and take the place with them. They needed to do something if they planned on staying here a little while. Merle had promptly disappeared saying he had an idea.

Daryl plonked down on the worn armchair, his eyes casting over to Charlene as she stood in the kitchen, opening a can of peaches she had found with the can opener Merle had found in the kitchen drawer. Once she got it open, she slurped some of the syrup greedily and let out a soft moan at the sweet taste. Daryl's pants tightened and he looked away, the tips of his ears turning pink. He felt like such a fucking creeper, but damn if that noise wasn’t the sweetest thing he’d ever heard. He was broke out of his thoughts when Merle walked back in. He tossed a bundle of barbed wire on the small coffee table in front of Daryl and Daryl quirked a brow at his brother.

“Found this in the little shed out back. Could make a fence, maybe string some cans up on it so we hear if there's any visitors,” he explained as he flopped onto the couch ungracefully.

Charlene padded over then glancing at Merle before her eyes landed on Daryl. She shot him a sweet smile that made his throat constrict. Kill me now.

She sucked the juice off her fingers as she sat down and Daryl had to fight the urge to groan. Should I shoot myself or stab myself? Bullet would prolly be quicker.

“Barbed wire? They don't feel pain though do they?” she asked softly, nibbling her lower lip that was still glistening from the syrup. Maybe I could just set myself on fire...

“Nah they don’t, but it’ll tangle ‘em enough for us to go out and deal with ‘em. ‘Sides, the cans, we’ll hear if there's a hoard, we’ll know to get the fuck outta dodge,” Merle said seriously for once. The girl's eyebrows raised right off her fucking head at his brother's plan, at how good it sounded, well thought out. He knew what she was thinking, she didn't expect his brother to be able to come up with something like that. His brother was only a little high right now, just weed most likely. Nothing hard it seemed and that's when he noticed his brother was the best version of himself. When he was on the hard stuff, he would either be a fucking sexual deviant or just plain aggressive. But this right now he could work with. His brother was chilled out but his brain worked, that was all Daryl could ask for right now.

Merle and Daryl went outside to make their makeshift fence. Winding the barbed wire around the trees and making a parameter that the dead wouldn't be able to get through easily. They attached some empty cans they found in a trash bag and Daryl had to admit, his brother's plan was pretty good. It wouldn't stop them from getting in when it came down to it, but it would slow them down and give them enough warning for them to get out safely. When they were done, Daryl looked as Merle checked it over, making sure it was done right. His brother looked deep in thought and that was a rare thing, Daryl was worried about what he was thinking about. He didn't have to wait long before he looked over and spoke to him.

“I wanna ask ya somethin’ and I don't want ya to bullshit me here,” Merle said firmly, glaring at Daryl. Daryl blinked warily at him, wondering where the fuck this was going, he had a feeling he wouldn't like it, it was weird seeing his brother so serious.

“Alright,” Daryl replied hesitantly. Merle scratched the scruff on his chin, straightening himself out, looking like he was preparing himself to say something whilst his younger brother watched on carefully.

“Those marks...she deserve it?” Merle asked roughly, making Daryl's jaw clench in anger, like his brother was trying to justify the actions he didn't even understand himself and find a way out of this.

“For fuck sake Merle!” Daryl growled, narrowing his eyes at him.

“I’m serious here! Did she do somethin’? Hit me? Provoke me?” Merle asked him, sounding almost desperate, it was pathetic.

“It ain't matter what she did or didn't do! She's a tiny little thing Merle, look at ya. Fuckin’ built like a house and hopped up on whatever the fuck that was. Ya damn near snapped her neck!” Daryl yelled, he felt his anger deep into his bones. Merle shook his head with a growl as he started to pace and Daryl could see him unravelling. Merle wasn't exactly used to feeling guilt or remorse and it seemed to be eating at him.

“It weren't me alright?!” Merle shouted as he stopped pacing, pinning his brother with his gaze.

“I know it wasn't. But ya still hurt her, scared her half to death. Ya can't do this shit no more Merle! It ain't fair to any of us. Whatever that was, ya better not use it again, because if ya lay a damn hand on her again, I won't be fuckin’ responsible for what I do to ya,” Daryl threatened, his eyes turning cold as Merle just blinked at him.

They both had issues from their past and watching their father beat their mother mercilessly, that was something neither of them would forget. It was the very reason why they wouldn't ever lay a hand on a woman that way. They despised woman beaters, and now Merle was riding that thin line and he felt like his sanity was slipping away from him. When he was high, sometimes, depending on what he took, he changed into a different person completely. One without the same morals he usually had, one who seemed to have no control of that Dixon temper that had plagued him his whole life.

They didn't need words, Daryl could see it, the remorse, how it was affecting his brother. He hoped it had woken him the fuck up enough not to use whatever it was that got him that way again. He was glad his brother regretted it, showing him he hadn't lost his compassion completely, that his brother was still in there somewhere. They just watched each other for a moment, Daryl's anger ebbing away as Merle lowered his eyes. It reminded him of when they were younger, very young when their mother was still alive and she would tell him off for something he had done. He felt a pang in his chest and he pushed it down, way down into the deepest darkest parts of him, never to emerge again. He stalked off back into the cabin, needing a break, needing to see the girl and make sure she was alright. He turned back when he got to the door, seeing Merle opting to stay outside, no doubt to think about shit and clear his head.

He heaved a sigh as he walked through the door. Charlene was sat at the dining table, all the cans of food in front of her as she organised them. Seeing them on the table like that, it made him feel good seeing just how much shit they had. If they rationed it right, it could last for a little bit. He could also hunt around the area, see what he could catch. Maybe they could stay here for a while and just rest up. He knew soon enough food would run out, they would once again be on their way. He wanted to enjoy some semblance of normal before that happened. As normal as he could get stuck with his drug-addicted brother and a girl he barely knew.

“The fuck ya doin’?” he asked with a quirked brow as he sat in the chair opposite her. She gave a soft snort as she glanced to him then back to the can in her hand.

“I got bored, I decided to see what we’ve got. There's a lot. I also found some clothes. There's some shirts I’m gonna take. They look like a teenagers so they’d fit me better. The rest should fit you and Merle. Although you’d probably wanna rip the sleeves off,” she smirked wryly at him, making him lower his head feeling bashful all of a sudden as he scoffed. She had a pile of clothes on the chair next to her. Some jeans and plaid shirts.

“Probably,” he huffed, his lips tugging into a half smile.

“Why do you do that? Ripping the sleeves off?” she asked curiously, resting her chin on her hand like she was so fucking interested in the answer. He could feel the tips of his ears turning pink having her watch him so intently like that as he chewed his thumb.

“Just easier to move about with the bow I guess,” he shrugged.

“I guess that makes sense. You’ve got those broad ass shoulders and huge arms. I bet it's uncomfortable with sleeves,” she said breezily, like it was no big deal what she said.

All Daryl could do was blink at her for a minute as she went back to organising the cans. Shit, was that a compliment? He was bewildered and he glanced down to his shoulders and arms. He felt a strange feeling in his chest swell. The same kind of feeling he would get when he bagged a big buck on a hunt. Pride? Is that was it was? He didn't know but he fucking liked it. He didn't exactly know why she was organising the cans, but he didn't say a word. She was busy, and that meant she wasn't looking at him. That, in turn, meant he could look at her without her realising and calling him out on being a fucking creep.

Her long brown hair was up in a messy bun, but she still somehow looked good. Even with her mud-stained cheeks. She looked better now she had eaten and drank something, no doubt the feeling of safety from the cabin helped too. She looked less tense.

“Ya’ll never guess what I found outside!” Merle hooted as he burst in the front door, a shit eating grin on his face. Daryl and Charlene turned their eyes to him but made no move to talk.

“Well shit, don’t all ask at once,” Merle huffed a laugh, making Charlene snort a little as she toyed with the can in her hand. Daryl just looked at his brother expectantly.

“They got some sorta water system rigged up out back. Works on rainwater,” Merle grinned. The girl’s eyes lit up and Daryl couldn't tear his eyes away from her, watching a beautiful smile grace her face.

“There's running water?!” she asked looking excited.

“I’m gonna guess there is,” Merle smirked, looking so proud of himself it was ridiculous. Anyone would think he rigged the system up himself.

“Yes! I’m gonna take a shower. I presume you guys won't mind me taking first dibs,” she said casually as she grabbed one of the smaller shirts off the pile.

“The fuck does that mean?” Daryl scoffed, looking so fucking offended it made Merle bark a laugh. She stilled, eyes wide as she looked to Daryl and his offended face.

“Oh...I...Uh...I just meant that...you two don't look the type...to be concerned with showering...is all,” she stammered, looking awkward. Daryl frowned, was she saying he was dirty? She had just fucking complimented him damn near a minute ago and now she was insulting him? He didn't understand what was going on.

“She ain't wrong baby brother,” Merle laughed, walking past him and smacking him on the back brotherly, making him tense and flinch for a second.

Charlene was clutching the clean shirt to her chest, looking awkward as a light blush graced her cheeks, Daryl squinting at her.

“I didn't mean...I didn't mean it in a bad way. You're all...manly and stuff, ya know? And you guys are out there, you're used to it...the mud,” she rambled nervously, her hands fisting the material of the shirt.

“We are manly,” Merle smirked, slurping on a bottle of water.

“I didn't say you were manly, I was talking about Daryl,” she scoffed, making Merle choke on his mouthful of water. Daryl bit his lower lip and ducked his head so he didn't laugh at his brother's reaction. He still had no idea what was going on. Was she insulting him or not? Now she was saying he was manly, he didn't know which way was up right now. But watching her squirm was a little amusing.

“I’m just saying, I’m not used to this. I’m a girl and I've never been in the woods before and I-” she started rambling again and Daryl rolled his eyes.

“Just go,” he snorted giving her the out she so desperately fucking needed. She glanced at him once more before scurrying off and Daryl shook his head and huffed a laugh.

Merle flopped into a chair at the dining table with a scowl.

“I’m manly,” he huffed, sounding like a petulant child as he glared at his water bottle.

“Uh huh...whatever ya say,” Daryl smirked, grabbing a can and opening it with his knife, shovelling the canned fruit in his mouth.

“We gonna go huntin’ tomorrow? Could see what's out there, hopefully make the food last a while,” Merle asked, glancing to him. Daryl swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Might as well. Seems good here, be good if we could stretch it out a little,” he shrugged, making his brother nod, the pair of them thinking about it. Even Merle had to admit this little set up was nice. Daryl really hoped they’d bag a deer soon. They could prep the meat and ration it, make it last a while between them all. He wondered how she would react, having him catch something big like that, something to fill her belly with for a while. He felt a twinge in his stomach and tried to ignore it, grabbing more fruit and pushing it in his mouth to distract him. The girl was making him feel all kinds of shit and he wasn't really sure what to think about it. So he opted not to think about it at all. Ignorance is bliss and all that shit.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag @keeperofwonderlandus @jodiereedus22 @easnuppa @fand0m-fiend

[sweetdeathwrites]

You Are The Right One

Pairing: Gokudera Hayato/Reader

Summary: Gokudera knows what you mean to him. But what does he mean to you? 

Warnings: fluff, romance, some sexual situations/suggestiveness (i.e. Gokudera is thirsty), angst

Word Count: 6,929

(Songfic to You Are The Right One by Sports)

(re/cross?posted from my AO3 and Luna! Original A/N below)

(Hi!! I know I've been gone a long time and I'm SORRY!! I've been going through a lot of stuff (I've been in 3 productions since the last time I've posted .. i think it's only 3.. but I've been a NAMED character in 2 out of 3!! the third one doesn't count bc it was a bunch of skits and so strict plot... so i guess that means... i was a named character in BOTH of my productions?~ I just performed in Grease 2 days ago on friday as Jan, my twinkie girl!! I got to eat twinkies on stage!! It was v exciting and I had a blast! some people I know from the hawaii theatre came down to see me and one of my dad's movie friends and they loved me! one of them told my mom i'm going to broadway! haha!!! ^v^ isn't that sweet? I don't think so but that's a lovely hope, isn't it? I'd like to dedicate this fic to someone who means the world to me, the lovely GuardianAngel07! I love you so much and I know that you're going through a lot right now and I just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what, and I know that you are busy and have a lot on your mind, and I just want you to know I'm never mad if we don't talk for a while! I think you get a little worried and feel guilty when we don't talk, but that's not it at all! I care for you so much and if your mental health needs you to take a break, then TAKE that break, honey!!!1! I'm always here to support you and I want what's best for you, mentally, physically, and emotionally!! I care for you a whole lot, okay? I'm always in your corner!!! I'm sorry that this fic isn't what I originally planned to gift to you (the original was much sweeter!! and less angsty!!) but this was the one that was most finished and I figured that anything with our lovely KHR boys would help to cheer you up! I hope you like it!!,, Uhm.... I've also got a lot planned! I released a LONG hannibal fic on AO3 and it's not the best bc I started it 2 years ago.yikes... but I'm finally gonna write for it again after a year but I'm going to revamp it (at least fix the grammar!) before I release it here! It's v violent and prolly gonna get really sexual too, so there's a warning, but i'll warn again when I actually post it. to be truthful, I had this almost fully done for months. I just hated it and hated it and hated it. I've been hating my writing a lot recently which isn't good bc I want to finish a book before I graduate and I'm taking an AP english exam on the 16th, so it's awful timing. I haven't been doing the best but I'm looking forward to summer........ only 18 more days left before I'm free.... then I have summer then I'm a senior and ..yikes....;;; but I've got some summer plans! I'm going to cut and dye my hair (I just realized nothing is stopping me from getting a Guzma cut and dye... then I can dye my hair pink!! and any other color after!!!) and I'll visit a friend in alaska, then I'll get a job somewhere.......... i got no college fund........... sorry for dragging on and on!! uhhhh just expect more from me (hopefully soon..... @GuardianAngel07 i hope ur ready for more awful songfics from me.... because i've written some reeeeaaaaallll angsty and sad ones, already with u in mind!! why do you always get the worst of the bunch.......,,,) love u all! and please leave a review if u enjoyed this! I seriously would've stopped posting all together if it wasn't for some incredibly kind people (looking at you, GA07!!) and a recent review for my hannibal fic on AO3 (or rather, reviews. yes, this person left MULTIPLE. very detailed and heartfelt, and I was giddy for days after!! So if you want more, PLEASE leave a review!! it's not fun to post and feel like you're just yelling into a void!! yell back at me!)

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You were the right way I was just waiting for you to look at me Is there a wrong time? Baby, I’m guessing Just let me know He can never get a break, can he? Gokudera sighed, smoke curling past his lips into the chill autumn air. The leaves were just beginning to change color and he cursed how the light cast amber shadows over the smooth plane of your face, cursed how he couldn’t trace the honey light with his fingertips and kiss the darkness away. His tongue clicked against his teeth and he took another drag of his cigarette. Hayato tried to ignore you. He really did. But how can he, when you look as good as you do with a rose-pink blush that covers your cheeks and ears when someone cracks a joke that makes you laugh until you can barely catch your breath? How your jaw drops open in delight before you remember where you are and hide your smile with your hand– something he desperately hoped you would lose the habit of because, god, did you look pretty when you smiled– and blot away the joyful tears in your eyes? How could he not give you his complete, undivided attention when you were as sugar-sweet as you were? His jade eyes flickered back to you again, almost against his will. Your face was bright, eyes glinting in the soft light of the dying afternoon as you teased one of your friends, grinning widely as they swiped playfully at you in return. Gokudera groaned and his head slumped back against the pillar he was leaning against a little too quick, sending an unpleasant shock up his spine. “Shit,” he hissed, stomping out his cigarette on the concrete behind Namimori High and massaging the back of his skull gingerly. What a day. First, Tsuna and Yamamoto had nearly been killed on their way to school again; of course, Gokudera saved both of them, although Yamamoto he saved slightly more reluctantly. Gokudera was strong– of course he was, he wasn’t Tsuna’s right hand for nothing. He just wished he could prove to you that he was strong enough for you, too… Then, that bastard that patrolled the school like some kind of obsessive freak was on his back again. Something about being late for class. Reborn showed up and solved the matter rather quickly, but that didn’t keep Gokudera from steaming out the ears for another hour or so. But the worst part of the day? It was definitely you, without a doubt. You filled his head, turning his thoughts and coherency to cotton in his head and made his mouth as dry as summer. Summer… Gokudera remembered, during lunch period, that you had gone to the beach with him and his friends. You wore a red bathing suit. Red as the fireworks at the summer festival, where he almost told you his feelings but panicked at the last second– but that was a story for another time–and, at one point, clung to his arm to whine about how hot the sun was, and how you were definitely going to get a sunburn. When Gokudera grumbled something back to you about reapplying sunscreen you had winked at him, grinning wide and asking if he wanted to help you with that. By then, there was no doubt in his mind that his milky skin was as red as your bathing suit. From his blushing, dazed haze, you managed to squeeze a frozen lemonade and a plain vanilla ice cream out of him and his wallet. “Share?” you gently cocked your head to one side and held out the icy drink for Gokudera to taste. His mouth was incredibly dry, as it always seemed to be around you– damn you, and damn him for being so weak for you– and he hesitated. You sipped your lemonade languidly and blinked up at him, heavy eyelashes fluttering and all doe-eyed, and his chest clenched in such a way that it brought him agony and ecstasy in equal measure. “Hm?” you hummed, waiting for an answer. He opened his mouth to deny your offer when a heavy stream of melted ice cream rolled down the side of the cone and over your hand. A surprised yelp and a curse left your throat as you hurried to clean the treat off of the cone. When you switched the cone to your other hand to lick the drops of vanilla from your palm, Gokudera’s brain snapped back to being fully functional and he hurriedly agreed to sharing with you. As you complained once again about the heat and the lack of more interesting ice cream flavors at the snack bar, Gokudera thought of how silly he was being for thinking of sharing the ice cream as an indirect kiss– an indirect tongue kiss, more accurately. But more honestly, it was more like the two of you just swapped spit–but that’s not a very pleasant thing to think of, no matter how much he liked you. He wasn’t in middle school anymore; he shouldn’t be so swayed by this! He shouldn’t feel so hot and his heart shouldn’t be beating so fast. A cool ocean breeze swept your hair away from your face as you shook ice chunks in your frozen lemonade, loosening them enough to drink. Gokudera turned his gaze to the clear blue sea, his friends wading in it, and the lazy scrawl of puffy white clouds across the sky and he wondered if he could gather the courage to ask for a sip of the lemonade, too. If he was only going to get an indirect kiss, he wanted a proper one. Slowly coming out of his reverie, Gokudera realized he had been looking at you the whole time. The shade that Namimori cast over him wasn’t enough to cool his embarrassed blush and he hoped you hadn’t noticed. Gokudera nearly jumped out of his skin when something in his pocket buzzed. He fished out his phone– obviously, of course it was his phone. He must be more tired than he thought, to be startled by his own phone. [Baseball Freak] whatcha lookin at? Snapping his head up, Gokudera scanned his surroundings, looking for any sign of Yamamoto. God, how embarrassing to be caught staring at his crush by the person most likely to tease him about it… [Baseball Freak] up here Yamamoto was leaning out of one of the windows of a classroom far above Gokudera’s head, waving at him without a care in the world. It was then that Gokudera remembered why he was waiting outside at all, staring at you so wistfully– Tsuna and Takeshi had to attend an after school remedial session for their poor grades… No matter how many tutoring sessions they both received from Reborn and Hayato and a variety of other eccentric characters that always seemed to appear out of nowhere, they still couldn’t retain anything they learned… especially not math. Shaking his head angrily, the silver haired boy punched out a response to him but his phone buzzed again before he could send it. [Baseball Freak] see something over there u like? I think u do~~~ aren’t they just sooo cute?? >///7///<   Gokudera bit his tongue. How dare Yamamoto say that about you?! It was true, he had to admit, but his pride was hurt from being so easily caught, heart read with such dead-on accuracy that he responded the only way he knew how to. [Me] PISS OFF A rich laugh filled the air above him and only served to spur Gokudera on, cracking his knuckles, clenching his jaw, and wishing he could beat Takeshi into taking what he said back. [Baseball Freak] u know, if u don’t make a move, someone else will………….they’re so pretty and smart and nice!! who wouldn’t want to date them?~ Gokudera’s rage calmed, eerily still. He knew that someone would make a move on you if he didn’t soon. He didn’t miss the way that the boys in the class would offer to carry your bags and would do anything to get just a little closer to you to sling their arms around your shoulders, pretending to show you something in a book, and to breathe in your light perfume. Or the way that girls would bite their lips and giggle when you told a joke and how they would bat their eyelashes and tease you and play with your hair just a little too much for it to be considered strictly friendly. Hayato knew he wasn’t the only person looking to add you to his dating pool and he also knew he wasn’t the best candidate to win your heart. It was a subject that often haunted his brain late at night, a miasma of doubt and self-hatred that cut deep into his heart when no one was there to see him cry. He was too loud, too violent, and too crude for someone like you to fall for. Too dangerous. It didn’t help that Yamamoto was the polar opposite of him– warm, friendly, and kind enough to be anyone’s dream man. And it definitely didn’t help that Yamamoto often wrapped his arm around your shoulders and brought you into his chest when there was nothing else for him to do with his hands. That happened often and made Gokudera more broken hearted than he would ever admit. [Baseball Freak] so? r u gonna say anything to them???? Gokudera had his heart set on you but his brain told him, quite logically, that you would never like someone like him back. Whoever said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all was a damn fool. [Me] mind ur business. Up above, there was a sigh loud enough for Gokudera to hear and he knew instantly that he had made the wrong move. He looked up just in time to hear Yamamoto call your name in a sing-songy voice, to see him through weak, orange sun rays, waving cheerfully at you. Gokudera snapped his gaze to you to see your hair bounce with each cute head turn as you looked for the source of the voice. Yamamoto called your name again and Gokudera registered that not only had he used your first name but he added a “-chan” to the end of it– what a double-crossing bastard! You found him and Hayato’s lungs felt tight, but not as a result of his chain-smoking. Your face lit up–your pretty, beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous face– and you yelled back a greeting and swung your arms around wildly back at Takeshi, heels lifting off the ground in delight with your ministrations. Hayato’s gaze flickered back up to Takeshi just in time to see the brunet pointing down at him vigorously. Your sight followed Takeshi’s direction and you locked gazes with Hayato. His breath caught somewhere between his throat and chest and his heart pounded against his ribcage, furiously trying to escape this terribly humiliating situation. Just let me know As soon as you saw him, your eyes widened slightly and you gave him an embarrassed, genuine smile as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It was strange; he didn’t think that you had anything to be embarrassed about. You were deathly adorable when excited, even if it was because you were excited to see that baseball idiot. He hoped to whatever higher being that was out there– and he knew something was out there: aliens, at least– that he hadn’t imagined that sweet, pink blush that dusted your cheeks and ears and ran down your neck. He was smiling back at you, equally as shyly, before he knew it. Well, it’s been a long time Since you’ve been lonely So what will I do? You are the right one And I’m just a boy who Is looking at you “Hey, Hayato?” you called. His spine straightened, vertebra by vertebra, at the sound of your voice. You had used his first name– sure, you had been doing it for a while, but still every time you called him so endearingly, it sent hot, smoky electricity up his spine. The way the bed sheets creased under your small body and lazy afternoon sunlight dappled your visage had his head reeling. There you were, lounging and at peace with the world, in his apartment, in his bed. “What?” He didn’t mean to sound so brusque– but then again, he doesn’t mean many of the things he says with his angry disposition. Especially to you. “Why do you turn down everyone that confesses to you? Don’t you want to… well… I don’t know, fool around with someone? I mean, we’re in highschool, this is supposed to be the most reckless time of our lives, right? Why not live a little?” Your head tilted to the side, hair falling into your eyes. His fingers itched to brush it out of your face and your own fingers played with something on your phone. Probably texting, some faceless guy or girl, flirting, playing coy and– “Hayato?” He shivered, loving how his name sounded on your soft lips. “I don’t know, idiot. I’m mean, but not mean enough to do something like that to some kid stupid enough to think they like me.” He settles for brushing his own hair out of his face. You turn over on your stomach, “I guess…” Something about your tone when you say that makes Gokudera narrow his eyes in suspicion. Did something happen to you to make you upset? Why were you bringing up this topic now? Why were you bringing it up to him? “I just think it’s a waste, y’know?” you ran a hand through your hair and locked your phone, placing it to the side. Your eyes slid closed and Hayato realized how close your head was to his lap, how easily he could pet your hair and have you doze off in his embrace. You looked sleepy enough anyway– would a little nap hurt the both of you? “Hayato, don’t you know how handsome you are?” you mumbled dreamily. “You could get anyone you want, anyone, and you chose to sit here and do nothing. Why?” Hayato couldn’t think. His head was full of steel wool and his blood thrummed loudly through him. You called him handsome. You called him handsome. When his breath came back to him in a barely noticeable gasp, he couldn’t filter the words that tumbled out of his mouth. “I can’t.” “What?” your eyes slowly opened and you leaned up on an elbow, looking quizzically up at him. “I can’t get anyone I want.” “Why not?” His lungs filled shallowly and he turned his face away from you, focusing on the empty street below, through his room’s window. The sun cast golden light and deep, lavender shadows across the world and Hayato knew that if he looked at you right now, everything would go to shit. He’d see your face; all the perfections and beautiful flaws and you would see through him as if he were glass blown, see how desperate he was for you and how his insides were twisting and trembling in fear and reverence, in equal measure, of your power over him. You would recoil, disgust drawn over your lovely face in terribly sharp lines and you would see how his heart would break over and over again. “Sometimes you just can’t.” Your lips curled into a frown and his brows furrowed; he could tell that much by your silence. Unsatisfied with his answer, you huffed and threw yourself back down on the bed, the crown of your head knocking against his thigh. Your hair splayed out around your face, angelic, and Hayato was lucky that your eyes had once again shut to accept the call of the dream world, because if they hadn’t, you would’ve seen how absolutely helpless he looked, gazing at you. So what will I do? His tongue darted out to smooth over his dry lower lip and he felt the faint sting of the thin skin there– cracked. He tasted iron and swallowed thickly. Gokudera wished he was closer to you, so much closer to you than he was, but he was doubtful his heart would be able to handle that. Your breathing started to slow and Hayato found his hand smoothing over your soft hair and you jolted violently, startling the both of you. You stared up at him, eyes full of stars and planets far away, and he laughed airily. He shook his head, silently telling you, No, don’t wake up just yet, everything’s fine. You accepted this without question and closed your eyes again. This time, Hayato gently slid his hands under your head and guided you towards his lap. He arranged himself comfortably on an array of flattened pillows and stroked your hair as you lay, safe and happy in his lap. A single eye peeked at him– slyly, cat-like– before you hummed and shifted closer to him. A contented sigh slipped through Hayato’s lips and he himself started to feel drowsy. In his dreamy stupor, his hand trailed down your face, down your neck, and down, down your arm until he had your fingers gently entwined with his. Sure, it may have just been an unconscious reaction, but the way your hand squeezed his back made his dreams lovely and surreal and hallucinatory, in all the best ways. I tried the wrong way I was guessing Biding my time You are the only One I can picture By my side “Gokudera, what’s up?” Takeshi nodded at the silver-haired bomber as he approached, strangely insightful today with his clear, milk chocolate eyes. The boy in question merely grumbled vaguely, hands shoved deep in his pockets, as if he was fishing for the answer to Yamamoto’s question down there as well. “That bad, huh?” Gokudera rolled his eyes. It wasn’t rare for him and Yamamoto to arrive at Tsuna’s house before the young mafia boss could flee from it, already anxious and sweaty. Today was no different. “Hey, at least you tried, right?” Yamamoto offered a weak smile, knowing how much you meant to Gokudera. His shoulders were hiked up to his ears and Takeshi didn't miss how the hot, red ring on Gokudera’s cigarette quickly crawled down to the filter before he was tapping out another from his near-empty box and sucking on the new cigarette, lighting it with the dying butt of the used one. He tossed the old one down and ground it into the asphalt. Takeshi frowned. The baseball star shifted the bag on his shoulder uncomfortably, his bats for after school practice clinking metallically. “ … I didn't.” Gokudera kept his gaze locked on a lamp post down the block. Takeshi blinked, not expecting a response from Gokudera’s sunken frame. “What?” “I didn't try.” It took Takeshi a moment to understand what Gokudera meant before grimacing with a little more than a dash of friendly pity in his eyes. He shifted his weight from his hip, seeking to comfort Gokudera, but decided against it at the last moment. “Why?” his voice came out in a gentle rasp. Gokudera still refused to look at him, green eyes clouded and trained on a particularly colorful poster on that singular lamp post. Seconds ticked by before Hayato groaned and dragged a hand down his face, pinching his cigarette in frustration with his other hand. “I can’t! I just can’t. I know they don’t feel the same and I know I’ll break if they have to say it to my face. I can’t handle that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to handle that. God, Yamamoto, I just can’t take that chance.” Being around them is– it’s just too much and too little for me to take– I’m going crazy here, driving myself in circles and spinning out, spinning my goddamn wheels because of them. It’s fuckin’ sickening but I don’t want a cure. I feel so helpless and I hate it, I never want to feel this way again. What the hell did I do to deserve this?” Gokudera’s eyes snapped shut, face contorted in agony. “I can’t tell them. I can’t. I want them to be happy. It’s better this way anyway. I’m not good enough.” Gokudera’s voice cracked on his last word before his declaration faded into the morning’s stillness. Yamamoto was insulted– his best friend talking about himself this way? Not in a million years, if he had any say in it– but Gokudera snapped at him before he could get a word in. “And don’t say shit about me being good enough, because we both know I’m not good enough for them. I’ll never be good enough, Yamamoto, that’s not me. I wouldn’t be able to hold them as much as I should, to kiss their gorgeous fucking face– I wouldn’t be able to be fucking honest, Takeshi. They deserve more than the bullshit excuses I’d spew to cover our fucking asses when we get the crap kicked out of us on a bi-weekly basis. They don’t deserve that.” Silence weighed like velvet over the two of them and the sun was now calling out songbirds, sleepy murmurs from the neighborhood beginning to wake from the heavy slumber of the night. Yamamoto didn’t know what to say anymore and Gokudera put the cigarette back where it belonged: between his lips, funneling poison straight to his lungs. “ … I don’t think it’s like that, Hayato. You’re being too harsh on yourself. I really don’t think they feel that way about you.” Hayato said nothing and kept his eyes glued to that single poster again. Yamamoto reached out and awkwardly patted his shoulder, mustering as much comfort as he could before he knew he would overstay his welcome. Hayato needed time to clear his head. “ … I’ll go inside to check up on Tsuna. Come inside soon, alright?” The response that didn’t meet him was enough to know Gokudera wouldn’t get better as quick as that. Takeshi sighed in sorrowful compassion before slowly making his way to Tsuna’s front door, carefully piecing together his cheerful mask yet again. The door shut quietly, and voices and vague, worrisome sounds came from within. Gokudera raised his hand to scrub furiously at his misty eyes, his bracelets clinking together and rings scraping his face and leaving thin, red lines around his eyes. He leaned back against the wall around his best friend’s house and his head banged against the concrete, painful and painfully familiar to something that had happened recently, involving you. “Fuck,” he hissed into the empty street. Class was boring, as it always was. There was nothing that could entertain him that was in Namimori’s curriculum. Tsuna managed to convince Gokudera to take college classes too, so that his development wouldn’t stall (and also because Gokudera being bored meant a bit more trouble for Tsuna, but he was genuinely concerned about Gokudera’s personal growth). But even those classes were much too easy for him. Something that wasn’t easy? Seeing you every damn day and not being able to do a thing about it. Getting closer, getting further, cutting you off completely– he couldn’t bring himself to do any of those. Gokudera tapped the eraser end of his pencil against his desk and sighed, staring out the classroom window into the clear blue sky. He couldn’t wait for summer again but, boy, did he like seeing you all bundled up in wool and cashmere and simply drowning in soft fabrics and cozy patterns. You were so cute with your nose red from the cold, lips burning pink from being bitten so much– he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, no, he would take this to his grave– but what he wouldn’t give to be the one to bite your lips instead, to hear you whimper and moan, just for him, and– A small collision with the side of his head brought him out of his daydreams. Curious and annoyed, Hayato brought a hand up to his hair and picked out a crumpled wad of paper. Who the hell had the balls to throw shit at him? He was still the scariest guy in Namimori (and no, Hibari doesn’t count, either). If anything, he should be terrorizing the rest of the class. Taking a less than subtle glance around the room, he caught your eyes staring at him eagerly. Taking a moment to compose himself, he averted his gaze to your note instead. Of course it was you that threw it at him. Who else? Wanna go to a bakery after school? Kyoko-chan was talking about it earlier and I can’t get it out of my head… I’ll pay if u want!! I want cake~~~ Hayato didn’t hold back the happy grin that spread over his face, sparing a glance at you, impatiently waiting for his reply, before scribbling something in his mostly neat penmanship under your barely legible chicken scratch. No need to pay. But yeah, that sounds p cool. Meet me right after school at the front gates? The teacher still had his back turned to the class, writing something that Gokudera already knew on the blackboard, droning on and on about logs and bases and inverses and irrational numbers or something equally useless. He knocked his hand back and threw from the shoulder, the small, now neatly folded note landing in the middle of your desk. You snatched it up quickly, hiding it just in time for the teacher to turn around and call on one of your classmates to answer a question. Gokudera couldn’t see you unfold the note but your arms were moving under the desk and you grabbed a pencil off the desk too. Gokudera remembered that pencil; it was thin, cute, and pink– with a brown bear on top. The bear held a red heart and its nose was in the same cute shape. There were patterns of hearts and stars in red and yellow and white, and Gokudera knew all of this because Kyoko had helped him pick it out to give it to you for your birthday. He thought giving you a gift with so many hearts was a bit forward– tactless, even– but Kyoko gave him a stern look and told him that nothing he could do would be forward enough when it came to you and, spluttering and flushed, he tried to deny his affections for you but only ended up confessing how he felt about you to Kyoko. Smiling gently like the angel she is, Kyoko let him talk her ear off about you for nearly an hour and a half. She earned a milkshake and a slice of strawberry cake for her bravery. You spun in your chair, clutching the edge of it in your small hand, and flicked the paper back to him. The message was a little more timid, he noticed. actually, can we meet on the roof after school?.. I have something I want to talk to u about, but it shouldn’t take long… We can go straight to the bakery if u don’t want to, tho!!!!! ^v^;; Gokudera recognized how you were trying to hide something from him with your overwhelming facade of consideration. Whenever you felt insecure about something, you always spent time making sure other people felt more comfortable and happy than you were, as if that would make you feel better yourself. A frown carried over his pale face and when he looked up, you were staring at him again. This time, you seemed to have carefully examined his face and your brows were furrowed. As soon as you met his eyes, you jumped, shaking your head and waving your hands to tell him, Don’t mind me, it’s nothing. Gokudera was just about to pen down a reply when the teacher turned around again and began talking to the class, not looking like he was going to turn his back on Gokudera any time soon. Hayato caught your eyes with his green ones and nodded quickly, mouthing ‘I’ll be there.’ Lunch was as it normally was. That is, filled with shouts and explosions and general chaos. However, this lunch period was noisier than it previously had been; a fact that only would have been noticed by the people present if they paid very careful attention to their volume. Gokudera noticed. Damn right, he noticed. Sure, you usually sat next to Takeshi. Sure, you had a habit of clinging to him as you laughed and whispering in his ear. And sure, sometimes you would call him Take-chan as you fed him bits of your own bentou– a fact that pissed Gokudera off endlessly. But what was different? Today you were nestled in Yamamoto’s side, tucked neatly away under his arm which alternated from wrapping around your shoulders to hold you to him and pulling you in by your waist to bring you nearly onto his lap. It stung Gokudera something awful. Watching the two of you laugh and whisper to each other felt like you had run Hayato’s heart over shrapnel and soothed his wounds with lemon and salt. He averted his jealous, but startlingly gentle gaze from you to the sky above you, willing tears not to come and cursing himself for feeling this way about you. “Hey, Take-chan!” You tugged on his shirt, the fabric over his chest, to bring his attention back to you. “Hmm?” You stole a glance at Gokudera and whispered giddily into Yamamoto’s ear. When you’re finished, Yamamoto made a sound that can only be described as pure elation, and he tugged you in even closer, tickling you in the process. You laughed and shrieked at him to stop and he only did so when you’re nearly in tears. Tsuna is having a muted conversation with Gokudera and he is trying to pay attention– honest– Gokudera is trying so goddamn hard, but it’s next to impossible when a grass-green snake hisses low in his belly over you writhing and laughing so happily in Takeshi’s lap. Yamamoto whispered hotly back into your ear and Gokudera sees something he wished he would never see from the two of you: you, with a hot blush crawling up your neck and Takeshi with his face practically in the crook of it, grinning all pearly white and eyes staring at you with such fucking dedicated tunnel vision. Gokudera wasn’t hungry anymore. Lunch ended and you gave Yamamoto one last quick hug before cleaning up your trash and putting everything away that you wanted to keep. Gokudera was slower than normal, taking all the time in the world and then some to get ready for class again. The door to the roof clanged shut and Gokudera let out a heavy sigh, eyes closed and trying to feel everything that he could– everything except his feelings, that is. He relished the cool breath of wind that blew against his face, tossing his hair around and whistling softly to him. He took account of the ground beneath him, hard and sturdy, and the sounds of teenagers filtering back into the school, complaining about their classes and each other. The one thing he didn’t hear–not until it was too late– was you. “Hayato?” you tugged on the back of his shirt, scaring him witless. He yelped like a kicked puppy and spun around to face you, composure long lost. He tried to say something but nothing left his lips; nothing coherent, at least. The hand that grasped his shirt didn’t cease touching him. It got even closer than before as you took a step, and then another, into his personal space. The height difference between you was just too much for him to handle and Gokudera felt himself simultaneously trying to pale and flush, unsure which won over in the end. Your hand slid along his waist, his side, and up his chest lightly. The smile that took root on your face was weak and bashful, even– and you bumped your forehead on his chest before you looked back up at him, an emotion he didn’t recognize dancing in your eyes. “Don’t forget, we’re meeting here after school, Hayato. You wouldn’t want to keep me waiting, would you?” Your finger tapped his chest teasingly, adding another beat to his pulse and he felt fire crawl up the base of spine at your nail scraping through his shirt. You blinked curiously up at him and his voice whispered to you, hoarse and against his will, “No, I wouldn’t.” Satisfied with that, you made sure that he had everything he had brought up to the roof with him, promptly forced him to offer his elbow to you, and curled yourself happily over his arm before leading the both of you down the stairs to finish the rest of the day’s lessons. The roof was empty except for Gokudera. As soon as school was over, he bid Tsuna and Yamamoto goodbye, telling them not to wait up for him. Yamamoto had a big, stupid grin on his face– But when does he not? Gokudera rationalized. There was something about that smile that showed that he knew more than he let on but Gokudera was much too preoccupied with thoughts of you to care. He leaned against the rails, not trusting it to hold him, careful not to put too much weight on it. He took a steadying breath. Breathe. It’s fine. Nothing’s wrong. But no matter what he told himself to stop the rapid, staccato drumming in his chest, his anxieties were not relieved in the slightest. He was afraid– god, how he was afraid. What did you want to talk to him about? Did you not want to be friends anymore? Did you grow tired of him? Did… Did you want to tell him you were dating Takeshi? “Hayato?” oh fuck Gokudera jumped. The amount of times you scared him witless was embarrassingly high. “Hey.” You smiled slightly. “Hey.” Something about you was different. Something was… off. The way your eyes drifted from him every other second before coming back to his concerned gaze was unusual, but even more unusual was the way your hands fidgeted behind your back. “So,” Hayato tried to get the words to come out. The light breeze that tossed your hair around your face in a halo didn’t help much, but he appreciated it anyway. “What’d you wanna talk about? I’m hungry as fuck.” It slipped out– Hayato’s cursing habit hijacked his mouth, nerves making him go on autopilot. At least you took it well; your eyes glinted in amusement and some of the tension between the two of you dissipated. A pink tongue darted out to soothe your dry lips and Hayato was a little too aware of it. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while, but I just didn’t know how to tell you– it’s a bit… embarrassing, so don’t make fun of me, okay?” Your mouth was set in a firm line, eyes pleading and vulnerable. “Sure.” That wasn’t the reply you wanted but it was what it was. By my side “I…” you began, then lost the words you had planned. “You?..” Gokudera offered. He wasn’t sure he was ready for what you wanted to tell him or what it entailed, but he was sure that if it meant your happiness, he would do anything at all to keep you smiling. “It’s just that… You know, I–” you fumble over your words, frustration visible on your face. Gokudera scolded himself for thinking of you in this way when you so clearly don’t want him but he can’t help it. He’s worried over your affect on him before, but he never considered how weak he is to you or how strong your natural beauty is under the glow of a late afternoon and the crinkle of your brow with your courageous efforts… courageous efforts that you try to spell out but they fail, perched above your tongue. Your soft hands come down in frustration upon the hem of your shirt and you try again, slip again, and Gokudera is privy to the realization that this isn’t something he should take lightly any longer, no matter how much it calms his nerves or keeps him from facing the possible reality of him losing you. He leans forward to grasp your hands from distressing your shirt, to keep you from distressing yourself, with full knowledge that this moment could be the end of you allowing him to be graced with your presence. Hayato decided that your momentary comfort before unleashing hell on him was worth more than a thousand lifetimes of you by his side in the masquerade mask of lukewarm passion if you backed down from rejecting him now. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” And he touched you and nearly recoiled when your face whipped up to meet his, nearly let go of you because your skin was hot as forged iron and nearly as red. He tried to let go but you wouldn’t stand for it, as you used his hands over your shoulders as leverage to place your palms, clammy and shaking, over his smooth cheekbones and bring his face down to yours. Hayato’s eyes were wide as he met your lips, glossed and smooth and clearly prepped for this specific moment, specific kiss, specifically with him and he could have withered away in embarrassment of his rough mouth and nicotine lungs if it weren’t for how warm you were against him and how securely you held him, despite how insecure you had been seconds prior. Gokudera barely has the brains left to close his eyes on the skyline of Namimori but when he does he sees stars and he kisses you back and there’s a scrape of his teeth against your bottom lip and you shiver and he groans into you and now he’s just as red, if not redder, than you are. A slick noise of separation, then the both of you don’t know how to deal with the awkward intimacy of it, or what to do with your hands, but Hayato managed to gather enough sense– or maybe he’s running on what he’s fantasized on doing after your first kiss together and is on a daydream-guided autopilot– and he brings you into a tight hug and buried his head into your wild hair. You laugh into his chest and when he tried to bring you out to ask you why, you clung to his wrinkled white shirt even more and blindly found his hands, tangled with his bracelets and rings, then laced your fingers soundly with his. Gokudera can hardly believe the kiss happened, can believe he’s still alive even less, but he’s sure you can hear the quickened palpitations of his heart and that notion does no good for his health either. You’re an absolute dream and Gokudera is ready and happy to die right there, but you pull away from him, hands still interwoven, and smile so beautifully that he is sure that angels exist and you’re the vision of seraphim, disguised as human so barely that if you were anymore angelic he would surely fall dead where he stood, kiss-dizzy and sweetly dazed. From his dazed mouth, stupidity falls out. “So what was it that you had to tell me?” You laugh and press a kiss– more confidently this time– to his collarbone. At his affirmative, stuttered, elated hum, you press another and another, up his neck and jawline and chin until you reach his lips again and he kisses you back with adoration and love and his still evolving understanding of your feelings for him. “I’m not sure how to say it any clearer,” you said with a laugh that rang like the church bells that sounded in Gokudera’s head as clearly as he imaged they would on your wedding day, as he pressed his own kisses all over your face and held you close with the intention of treasuring you as long as he had a pulse and then some. “Hayato, I really, really like you.” And that was the day that Gokudera Hayato had come to face the reality, one that he had long accepted, that he loved you more than anything and you felt the same, but most importantly, that you were the right one for him. And that he was the right one for you.

[ursoself-satisfying]

do you think eugene is maybe scared of long boat trips? i was thinking about it the other day, maybe he plans on going on holiday with his s/o and the only way to go abroad would be on a boat right? but maybe he would get a little (a lot? im not an expert on this) ptsd while being on the boat and his s/o supporting him but not fully understanding because lets be honest, no-one apart from the soldiers fully understand this sort of stuff, and maybe there's another veteran on-board who helps him?

Before we get into it I wanna say I totally agree n that unless u actually have experienced that ur rly not gonna understand what the person is going thru n this applies to all kinds of trauma but just bc u dont understand doesnt mean u cant do ur best to or that u cant still love support n help them handle it n it doesnt mean they're not gr8tful for ur involvement even if u dont understand,, writing for post war eugene is always tricky cus I dont wanna assume ik how any of this goes or the extent of what it entails i havent done this I've barely done any research its heartbreaking tho n unfair n I just wanted to say all that before u get into this cus it's a combo of both asks but also more of a touchy subject than I feel like I've addressed here so that's just a heads up but enjoy!!

Omg eugene my bby

I def think hes still afraid of boats big time,, so when the two of u decide to go abroad for ur honeymoon it's a big decision for u two to make one w lots of beforehand discussions n considering all ur other options but in the end the push of ur families n the pull of the convenience of a boat eases u both into the decision, even tho nothing about it u kno is going to be easy,, Eugene is p nervous cus I mean the nightmares have lessened n u both have been learning how to handle his flashbacks n the like but u had never tried anything like this yet so on one hand it could be a good time to test the waters but on the other hand neither of u have any idea how itll actually go

Even just in the car on the way there he starts to get shakey n then on the dock it gets a bit worse but ur hands r on him somehow the whole time either locked in his or on his leg or arm or stuck in his pocket n that comforts him, ur touch anchors him n keeps him from drifting to worse thoughts it keeps him thinking about u instead,, its till hard tho just thinking about it being back on that boat forcing himself to remember hes going to France n it's not occupied n hes not alone n hes going to get to see the sights w his wonderful wife n thoroughly enjoy those bright French mornings n that it's going to be quiet, no more bombs or raids or alarms just u n him under thin sheets hot n sticky n just together n safe

But first,, the boat

On the boat? It was rough,, every bit of turbulence n every odd sway made him anxious n as much as u tried to entice him to enjoy more of the boats activities like a cabaret show or even just playing some chess out on the deck n tho u could get him out a few times n he did enjoy himself,, he spent most of his time in the cabin trying to ignore the fact he was on a boat at all,, the rest of his time not being coaxed out by u he spent napping in a deck chair w u often lounging beside him n watching over his sleep carefully, also making sure he didnt burn n lathering her exposed skin in sunblock as much as u could as he slept

U two kept busy in the cabin tho I mean it was ur honeymoon after all ;;;))) so he ravaged u as often as he could bc not only were u a comfort but also a distraction,, u did other things as well tho like laying n listening to ur favourite radio shows or playing guitar to him or sketching him or dancing together or once even doing a silly little fashion show where he def tripped after putting on ur heels

He did have a few attacks tho but u had prepared as best u could n even if some of ur cabin took a beating in an outburst u had always managed to talk him down n he spent a lot of time in ur arms

His breakdowns btw would come suddenly when something would trigger him like a sudden movement or a splash against ur window n then he would get angry n scared n become protective of u until his aggression bubbled over into hot tears drowned out by ur soft words of confirmation trying to tell him u were on a modest cruise liner n u were going to Europe n that the guns n the bombs n the tropical climate were all far away n u would pull him into a cold shower w u n he would often (fuck u hard first then) just cling to u n cry until he could calm down n fall asleep n if he stirred in his sleep u would repeat the process until he could sleep soundly

He was gr8tful to finally be off the boat n back on land tho n once in Paris the two of u could rly enjoy ur honeymoon beginning w breaking in ur hotel bed ;;;)))

But then the two of u got to see the Eiffel Tower n the Seine n the Louvre n Notre dame n it was all so amazing!!!! U spent half the time w ur head in ur sketchbook n he spent all his time taking photos of u w ur head in ur sketchbook lol

The photos were brilliant n sweet n excessive n there were def a few of u bare n freshly fucked (pardon my french) w the Parisian skyline out the window behind u, the morning like shining thru ur messy hair like a halo,, but there were also many of him from the perspective of u kneeling over him n many more of both of u playfully holding up the tower or picnicking in front of a cathedral w u plucking at ur guitar or him w a bottle of wine at his lips

It was all v picturesque n romantic n perfect n u thought he deserved nothing less n he thought the same for u ::""))

U spent about 4 weeks there together n he had throughly used his time to fuck u in every way possible n use every toy u brought with but then it was suddenly time to go home n u were concerned about eugene being back on the boat but he seemed less nervous when u got on n he admitted to feeling a lot better after the first trip n this time he actually went out w u n u played board games w other passengers n danced in the halls n sang w the cabaret n he still sunbathed n napped n made love to u n wrecked ur cabin n u still listened to all ur radio shows n drew n sang but ur lives felt more full somehow after this experience

Oh n u def showed off everything u had bought is Paris n as much as he loved that silk dress on u he loved peeling it off u even more ;;;)))

He rly did feel better when u were finally home to ur little cottage for the first time together as a globetrotting married couple ::"")) he felt better that he hadnt handled it nearly as bad as hed expected n urs n his trip abroad left u feeling loved n cultured n more experienced in life plus u both had taken a huge chance n now u were better for it n felt more capable n confident that he was getting better n it was an affirmation that u would take care of him n that u would always be there for him, just as u had said in ur vows ::""))

He was happy to consummate ur new marriage in ur own bed for the first time tho lol n on top of that gr8 feeling it was just gr8 that he felt less held back w u there w him especially after the boat experience

So yeah a quick note I rly do think he would be terrified of ever stepping foot on a boat again n would refuse it n be vvv adamant about not doing it again for a vvv long time but I think he could be worn down n would EVENTUALLY be ok w it but maybe not this fast n tho I dont feel like I go into much detail here he def has a hard time on the boat as well like hes just agitated the whole time n probably was prescribed some medication for it if just some motion or sea sickness meds n maybe anxiety but i would say it prolly makes him drowsy so hes kinda out of it which keeps him calm but doesnt stop certain flashbacks n maybe he lashes out n hurts someone once in a while cus it's incredibly traumatic returning to that environment but anyway yeah he would be v fidgety n not like it but in this scenario hes willing to take a chance given how well hes been recovering n how much he trusts u n how much u have helped him n the option had pull so that's why but rly I dont think irl he would have gone back on a boat anywhere near that soon but this is romantic fiction so ::))

Also I have a v specific image of who eugene is w if u cant tell lol so I'm sorry for that specificity but I'm so whipped for him n his gal I lov sm I hope u enjoy n guys I'm so motivated to finally write out the storyline I have for him I'm gonna finally get out his fic ok I promise

[arodrwho]

and like most of those questions sound totally reasonable to occur to somebody in the course of writing sickfic but i’m not sitting here like “oh cad’s stuck in bed how does he feel about being totally idle/not being able to work on little projects”, i’m sitting here like “oh man cad’s sitting there for a few minutes waiting for everyone else to finish eating, does that feel weird to him, does he feel like he should be doing something, does being idle for a few minutes too long remind him too much of being stuck back at the grove with nothing to do but tend the graves and wait for his family to get back?”

and i’m not sitting here like “what are his thoughts abt staying positive bc oh man he’s real sick & it’s real not fun,” i’m sitting here like “what are his thoughts abt staying positive bc i want to make an offhand comment abt his aunt having said it’s easier to laugh than to cry bc i want him to feel a feeling at imagining one of his sibs teasing him over being forgetful”

& i’m not sitting here like “and what are his thoughts on food wastage bc he’s too sick to finish his dinner,” i’m sitting here like “and what are his thoughts on food wastage bc he’s not particularly hungry but he’s scraping his bowl clean anyway & would he do that & why & also he’s bout to go wash dishes in the stream & the others haven’t ate every last bit of their food & does that bother him a little? is he a tiny bit judgey about that? what’s his deal there?”

so i’m just going off on barely-related tangents that don’t rly matter too much to the actual fic itself (though they could asnoted), bc they’re only occurring to me bc of tiny details that don’t matter to the fic overall

& i don’t forsee myself stopping anytime soon so uhh i’m prolly gonna end this fic w/a good deal more caduceus hc junk than i anticipated

which? is alright & neat, i don’t rly have any complaints, but i am amused at my me for thinking this might possibly be a quick n easy piece w/no real thought involved bc me? not overthink? be concise?? ne v  e   r

[cxsmicmyeon]

hi hi! it's your bestie 😉 hehe sorry i had too much screen time and needed a break 😂

oh my goodness his fried rice waffles 👁👄👁 he also called himself a culinary genius and i'm wondering how kyungsoo deals with jongin's kitchen adventures lmao or even minseok since he's such a clean freak?? baek just updated and said he's doing well in a strict routine! but for everyone to stop sending mail/email/gifts to his training centre bc it's overwhelming them 😂 so to just tell him everything using a specific hashtag and he can feel the love when he's finished. can you imagine how much they're getting??? lol

i've always used the excuse it's still that date in america soooo technically it's still my birthday 😀

OMG YES PLEASE WRITE THAT!!! that's so cute and domestic stop lol 💞 i feel like a bunny would be a lot less maintenance especially if you're out often! unless you adopt? a puppy is SO much work. ..maybe that's why mine is such a baby. he's almost 6 now but still acts like a puppy we just brought home yesterday 😂 omg that time chanyeol had toben and sehun had vivi? the chaos that was toben LMAO

i sometimes want to start a fic rec blog..but i'm so unorganised i'm not sure how to go about it. i do so much reading and there're so many good fics out there i want to share 😭

we pretty much are but there's some random clusters here and there. plus the newly returned overseas but they're quarantined in a medi hotel. yeah i've seen a lot of news from the us about people refusing to wear masks and stay home. but then turn around and complain that things aren't getting better 😶 yes please keep safe!! ❤

i think the cheaper one is a flip book album! which ofc will be mega cute, i can already imagine! i want sm to bloody release the details though. why are they so lazy when it comes to their best sellers?! is it tomorrow for you yet? 😂 DID YOU GET IT!? omfg yes lol i CAN'T WAIT for your asmr HAHA 👉👈 tbh your voice sounded so sweet i felt comfortable messaging you 😂 when you were fangirling about myeon hahaha that's exactly what i'm like when someone asks about yeol hehe

LOL THE WAY I THOUGHT HIS FRIED RICE WAFFLES WERE HASHBROWNS- ngl though it looks good though i'd eat it...😳 kyungsoo prolly had a mental breakdown when he saw jongin making the waffle LOL

OMG WAIT I CRIED WHEN I SAW BAEK'S VIDEO- HE SAID HE'S GONNA BE UPLOADING EVERY 17TH???? AND CHAN UPLOADING EVERY 27TH??? WE DO NOT DESERVE THOSE TWO AT ALL😭😭😭omg i can't imagine all the mail he's getting- i think something similar happened to junmyeon and he had to go on and say stop sending me mail cuz it's too much ahsgdj,, my popular boys🥰

I WILL WRITE IT!! i just need to get through school and finish my final paper lol!! and also finish my requests lol!! thank god school's over next tuesday for me lol! i need a BREAK omg... agh yeah i have heard puppies are a lot of work but they're SO CUTE THOUGH😭😭omg toben and vivi are both of my personalities🤣🤣they're literally the cutest things omg

lol i actually was considering a fic rec blog too! cuz my post is rly long and i feel bad for all the tags the authors get LOL but i'm lazy and i don't want to annoy the authors EVEN MORE LLMAOSODNDNJFHF i love life😃👍🏻

ugh yes i have a lot of family who is anti mask and won't get vaccinated and don't take covid seriously and it just pisses me off🙄🙄but thankfully most of them don't live in my area so i don't have to worry about seeing them a lot lol! and i have both of my shots for the vaccine and i'll be fully vaccinated after next week!

i'm not picky at all when it comes to albums lmao! like even if i don't get a jun photocard i don't complain that much bc i still got a photocard of a member!! like i have a jun, yeol and minseok photocard (and baekhyun poster and jongdae slide thing from obsession) and honestly i'm still happy to get the merch cuz it's exo and i love exo!! :D

AND AGH IM SO SAD IT SAID IT'S COMING LATE😭😭😭like it was gonna originally come on saturday but then usps said thursday (today) and i checked the tracking number and it said "coming late" )): agh but we'll see 🤞🏻 i just hope it comes soon!!

AGH i need to prepare for the filming😭😭i need to find a tri pod and clear my desk and make sure my family doesn't interrupt me AJDHJDH and AAA i hate my voice so much i was so shy when recording!!! but i turned my phone around and spoke from the heart and i felt more comfy!! i may not speak in the asmr tho i'll just let my glue on manicure do the talking LOL!! i love hearing nails tap on stuff so it'll be fun to do!!

[faemytho]

i’m tagging all my mutuals also i’m sorry i haven’t figured out how to do the ‘read more’ thing on mobile so suffer with me

1. Lust 2. Error 3. Ink 4. Razz 5. Blue 6. Sans 7. Fell 8. Geno 9. Outer 10. Dream 11. Death 12. Violet

(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) dumps (1) for (9). (1), brokenhearted, goes on one date with (11), has an unhappy breakup with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

(Lust) and (Fell) are in a happy relationship until (Fell) dumps (Lust) for (Outer). (Lust), brokenhearted, goes on one date with (Death), has an unhappy breakup with (Violet), then follows the wise advice of (Blue) and finds true love with (Ink).

*rubs hands together i’m liking this a lot just think about it for a second we got some rust that turns into fallenstar (*clutches chest) then we got some lust/death?? that’s new lmao and ooh lust/violet loving me some of that and bLUE ADVISES LUST AND WE END WITH SOME HAPPY INKLUST

If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

(Geno) oh f uc k um i don’t know any real songs the truth comes out

3 told you that they will soon be getting married to 2. What is your reaction?

(Ink and Error) uh good for y'all but im gonna nope out of here before y'all come to your senses

When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

(Blue) i think maybe a couple months? unless reading your own writing counts?

6 kidnapped you, why is this?

(Sans) uhhhh i didn’t kill anyone promise

Does anyone on your friends list consider Three hot?

(Ink) apparently Galli does

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what warning would it have?

(Lust/Sans/Violet) um i mean uh probably some suggestive content? i don’t write smut but this would prolly be as close as i would get

6 is extremely pissed off about something, why is this? And what will you do?

(Sans) um run, first of all, second, sans never gets pissed unless you kill his bro so probably that

Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

(Blue/Outer or Blue/Dream) Dreamberry i’m sorry

You and 9 get trapped in an elevator together. What happens? And who are the other random people with you two?

(Outer) ohhhhh my god i fuckin hate elevators ill be needing some cuddles also, i dunno, Stretch and Razz pff

Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

(Error/Sans) sign me tf up

8 confessed to be a part of your family.

(Geno) geNOOO???

4 and 5 are having an argument. Why is this?

(Razz and Blue) probably about whether tacos or fajitas are better tbh i love the fuck out of tacos so i’m sorry i’m siding with Blue

Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

(Lust/Geno) yes and there should be more

2 writes you a love song, plays it for you, and then kisses you on the cheek.

(Error) i’m die who are you?? where’s the real? error??

What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve kissing?

(Fell, Error/Violet) probably just walk out and not give two shits i’m absolutely in love with Error/Violet though like??? make this?? a thing??

Do you think Four is hot?

(Razz) nOoOo. (i mean i’m gay but)

7 cooked you dinner.

(Fell) im terrified

Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic?

(Fell/Violet) Different Kinds of Scars oh

9 and 1 accidentally get hooked up on a dating website and are forced to go on a date together.

(Outer/Lust) i’m actually unsure of how to feel about this

8 gets angry and starts cussing at 6 very loudly. 7 is watching it all and is interested…but why is this?

(Geno, Sans, Fell) when isn’t geno yelling at sans lmao and of course fell is interested in this he’d probably join in

Do you recall any fics about 9?

(Outer) you know what, i do not, fix this now.

You are about to do something that will make you feel very embarrassed. Will 9 comfort you?

(Outer) he’s Outer of course he will Outer is probably the best cuddler

Does anyone on your friends list read 3?

(Ink) i have no idea *cough cough whEEZE

Would anyone one of your friends list write about Two/Four/Five?

(Error/Razz/Blue) this is p out there so idk but i’m interested in this yo

You’re lying on the beach peacefully, and then you turn your head to see 1, 2, and 9, by the water wearing speedos.

(Lust, Error, Outer) ok.

It’s storming outside and 4 allowed you to stay with them at their place until it blows over. And your reaction to this kind gesture is?

(Razz) what do you want from me

Have you read a 6 / 11 fanfic before?

(Sans/Death) i have, actually, it was a ot3 fic about soulmates and of course it was about afterdeath, but since geno and sans share a soul, they’re both Death’s soulmates it was really well written and i loved it

5 wakes you up in the middle of the night.

(Blue) oh my god my baby you get all the cuddles

1 asks to talk to you privately. When you are both alone, he admits to you that he is gay.

(Lust) well i’d actually be surprised if you were straight

5 gave you a teddy bear.

(Blue) i will cherish this bear thank you my son

You and 10 go out for a picnic. Everything is peaceful until 2 crashes it by showing up and inviting you to go hang out at a cafe. Would you go with 2 or stay with 10?

(Dream, Error) well i’d prefer if i stayed with Dream because he’s Dream but Error would probably have a fit so uh

1 walked in on you while you were showering. What is your reaction?

(Lust) get out now pls ill wave an ace flag at you pls go away

What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

(Violet, Geno) at this point i’m not even surprised

You catch 10 looking at questionable material on the internet.

(Dream) we all saw this coming, he hangs out with Ink and Blue for fun

Make up a summary of a 3/10 fanfic.

(Ink/Dream) The protector of the Multiverse is flighty. He breaks his own rules, hardly does his job. He’s supposed to protect, but when it comes to damage control, he’s almost as bad as Error. And when Dream finally manages to meet him, he’s more surprised than he thought. (fuck summaries ok so plot, out!code characters are fucking hard to catch, Dream thinks Ink absolutely sucks at his “job” and Ink is happily oblivious to Dream’s ‘good feelings’ aura which doesn’t affect him because he hAS NO SOUL)

All the listed characters get into a very epic and all-out battle. Who will be the last one standing?

Death. Death wins at everything fuck you

7 is having relationship problems, 4 tries to help them out but their advice isn’t helpful. Your thoughts about this predicament?

(Fell, Razz) of course Razz has no good advice he has no game

Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven?

(Death) not enough u asses