#promiiia

[0cal-sweetener-queen]

My Bingeing Urge Check List

just wanna stim -> pick something else

actually hungry -> fill up on fiber pills, sparkling water & low calorie foods

anxious about procrastination -> compensate with another task, a show, or just do the thing, get help from accountability buddy

forgot to take my meds -> take them

sensory discomfort -> reset (hydrate, shower, brush teeth, change clothes, painkillers if in pain, heat pads, bury in blankets, some stretching, open a window)

emotionally hurt / vulnerable -> let emotions out differently (exercise, talk to someone,…)

overstimulated -> go to my room, stim sesh, headphones…

upset about exceeding calorie limit / feeling full -> IT DOESNT GET BETTER FROM EATING MORE, remember how terrible purging feels

craving a food / sense of satisfaction -> YOU LITERALLY KNOW YOU WON‘T FEEL SATISFIED FROM EATING THAT, stop lying to yourself

[dead-girl-dying]

Almost 10 hours of ED, Body Image, and Similar Songs:

A Blood Red Bracelet - Corinna Fugate

All The Things She Said - Tatu

Ana and Mia - The Trews

Ana's Song (Open Fire) - Silverchair

Angels of Porn II - Nicole Dollanganger

Annie's Anorexic - Huntingtons

Beauty From Pain - Superchick

Beauty In the Darkness - ElysianSoul

Big Isn't Beautiful - King Adora

Bleed Like Me - Garbage

Bloody Nose - Jack Conte

Body - Mother Mother

Body of Years - Mother Mother

BONES - Oliver Koletzki ft. HVOB

Brand New City - Mitski

Breath Me - Sia

Bubblegum Bitch - Marina and the Diamonds

Buried Myself Alive - The Used

Cake - Melanie Martinez

Camisado - Panic! At The Disco

Carmen - Lana Del Rey

Cause and Effect - Maria Mena

Chained to the Rhythm - Katy Perry

Coffee - Jack Stauber

Coffee and Cigarettes - Augustana

Cold - ElysianSoul

Come and Get It - Problem Child

Control - Alexisonfire

Cool For The Summer - Demi Lovato

Courage - Superchick

Creep - Radiohead

Dance of the Dead - SECRETS

Dark Descent - ElysianSoul

Dark Thoughts - ElysianSoul

Deadly Beauty - Faces Without Names

Dear Diary - MikelWJ

Decadence and Disorder - ElysianSoul

Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez

Donatella - Lady Gaga

Dressed In Decay - CKY

Dying To Be Thin - No Frills Twins

Dysmorphia - ElysianSoul

Empty - Boyinaband ft Jaiden

Eyesore - Maria Mena

Fat Kids - Mother Mother

Feeding the Wolves - ElysianSoul

Feeling Small - Marianas Trench

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia

Fix Me - Marianas Trench

Genevieve - Outcast Youth

Girl Within the Ghost - ElysianSoul

Girls Your Age - Transviolet

Gods and Monsters - Lana Del Rey

Goner - Twenty One Pilots

Happy Little Pill - Troye Sivan

Happy Pills - Weathers

Hollywood Forever - K Flay

Hospital For Souls - Bring Me The Horizon

Hurts Like Hell - Fleurie

I Go Hungry - Mother Mother

I Hate The Way - Polly Scattergood

I Like Giants - Kimya Dawson

I Will Show You - Ailee

Immune - ElysianSoul

In Front of the Mirror - GLAM

In This Shirt - The Irrepressables

Invisible - Skylar Grey

Just A Little Bit - Maria Mena

Live Happy, Live With Anorexia - Stage

Lovestoned - Justin Timberlake

Loving Curse - ElysianSoul

Lucy at the Gym - Jill Sobule

Mary Jane - Alanis Morissette

Me and Mia - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists

Medicine - Daughter

Meds - Placebo

Midnight Run - ElysianSoul

Mrs Potato Head - Melanie Martinez

My Silent Undoing - Queen Adreena

Never Good Enough - Rachel Ferguson

No Matter the Season - Sara Kays

Numbers - Pompeii

Oh Ana - Mother Mother

On My Mind - ElysianSoul

Orange Juice - Melanie Martinez

Paper Bag - Fiona Apple

Please Eat - Nicole Dollanganger

Pretty Hurts - Beyonce

Prom Queen - Beach Bunny

Pull Me Under - ElysianSoul

Recovery - James Arthur

Rock Star Skinny - The Real Zebos

Scars To Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy - Maria Mena

Shadow Dancer - ElysianSoul

She's Falling Apart - Lisa Loeb

Sippy Cup - Melanie Martinez

Six Feet Under - Billie Eilish

Skin and Bones - Marianas Trench

Skin and Bones - Motion City Soundtrack

Skin and Bones - Picture Me Broken

Skinny - Edith Backlund

Skinny - Filter

Skinny Love - Birdy

Smaller Than This - Sara Kays

Smokestacks - LAYLA

Snail - Cavetown

So Low - ElysianSoul

Someone I Once Knew - Dead Celebrity Status

Sophie - Eleanor McEvoy

STARSTRUKK - 3oh!3

Starving For Attention - Geri Karlstrom

Stick and Stones and Bones - ElysianSoul

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

Sugar & Ice - ElysianSoul

Sweet Disaster - The Dreamers

Sweet Sound of Ignorance - Soko

Sweet Ophelia - Zella Day

Take Me Or Leave Me - Rent

Teen Idle - Marina And The Diamonds

That's My Girl - Fifth Harmony

The Animal Inside - ElysianSoul

The Darkest Star - ElysianSoul

The Fear - Lily Allen

The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future - Los Campesinos!

The Smile Underneath - ElysianSoul

Therapy - All Time Low

Touch Up - Mother Mother

Tunic (Song for Karen) - Sonic Youth

Two - The Antlers

Ugly - 2NE1

Ugly - Nicole Dollanganger

Unsteady - X Ambassadors

Urge to Purge - Charly Bliss

Waiting to Be Weightless - ElysianSoul

Waltz Moore - From First to Last

Water - Jack Garratt

We Need To Eat - Kent

Weightless - Mi

West Coast - The Neighbourhood

Who You Are - Jessie J

Who You Are - Kurt Hugo Schneider

If I've missed any or you have more reccomendations let me know!

[strv-b-strv-blog]

Anxiety

Having this disease on top of having severe anxiety is awful. I don’t eat because I want to lose weight. Then my brain tells me I’m gonna pass out if I don’t eat, then I eat. And I get upset that I eat, so I fast or restrict heavily again. It’s an endless cycle and it’s drowning me. Please tell me I’m not the only one.

[meandmia-annandana-blog]

some affirmations in case you might need them as much as i do sometimes 🌷💕

my emotions do not control me.

i am the one in charge of myself.

i choose what i feel.

it is up to me to choose how i react.

others don't owe me anything, which is not bad or something to be bitter about.

i do not owe them anything, which is not bad or something to be bitter about.

i do not need to stand above a cliché, expectation, prejudice, or seemingly "bad" characteristic to be worth acceptance and love.

i don't have to be the best at everything.

it is better, easier and more sustainable to find a comfortable balance rather than switch between extremes of doing more than i am able to and doing nothing at all.

if somebody is bothered by my behaviour, they can tell me that they are not fond of it, choose to remove me from their lives and/or choose not to support my behaviour any longer.

it is not my responsibility to take care of others' emotions and reactions to me or my actions, which is not mean, selfish, bad or something to be bitter about.

however, i should try to be empathetic and do my best to take criticism as long as it doesn't hurt me.

i do not control others.

others cannot make assumptions about me or the impact i have on people, for everything about this is very subjective.

i shouldn't strive to control others because it will only make them and me suffer more.

their issues are theirs and mine are mine.

they can choose not to feel attacked by my issues just as i can choose not to feel attacked by theirs.

i am not only what i do.

i can and do change.

i can make myself happy without help, but i can accept it if i feel like that's better, easier or more comfortable to me (or to others, if i feel like i am able to consider that).

i should be responsible towards myself and learn, know and respect my own boundaries.

it is irresponsible to ignore the consequences of my actions, but i am nevertheless allowed to make mistakes.

it is very important that i learn from my mistakes and become more responsible, even if it takes time.

i don't need to beat myself up for mistakes or taking it slow, as this will only make it worse and i do not deserve that.

i should instead be grateful if others forgive and support me, be honest, ask for support if i need it, try my best to do what i can in return and take my time to get better; that is what responsibility means.

i am in control of my behaviour.

i am in control of my emotions.

i am in control only and solely of myself.

i am in control.

[chiapetofficial]

to all of my hurting followers

To everyone who followed me before I changed my blog

PLEASE do not unfollow

I know what it feels like. I know it hurts. And I know for a FACT that you need some light and happiness and positivity in your life. Gentle encouragement from someone clamoring to the other side. I am HERE. For YOU. All of you. 

Believe me when I say I know all the bullshit. In and out. Up and down. Its awful.

I’ve lived years of my life asking for permission to eat certain things or be a certain way. Need that permission from someone? ask me. 

Need encouragement? Follow, DM, ask me. Leave an anon. 

Need someone who will take the gentle recovery humor? Someone who gets it? I am here. I am here. I am here. 

This life is not sustainable. You know that. 

Let’s walk together, baby steps. Please.

[fat-girl-to-fab-girl-blog]

Tomorrow is a new day!

05.17.19 (11:29 P.M.)

I'm officially done with my old lifestyle... I'm tired of mindlessly eating, gaining weight every time I weigh myself, being ashamed of myself and being scared of my scale... Tomorrow will be the start of my new, healthy lifestyle! I will start doing the following:

- Waking up by 7:00-9:00 A.M. every morning.

- Stop binge eating!

- Weigh myself bi-weekly.

- Keep a good/exercise log/diary.

- Start eating healthier foods.

- Get at least 30 minutes of exercise each day.

- Stop saying "I'll start over tomorrow."

- Start saving money for my own apartment.

[katebear28-blog]

Goodnight💋

Photo cred: Google

[computerizing-blog]

Just Started My Fast

I’m about an hour into my next fast and it is 7:14pm Eastern Standard Time. If you wanna join in lemme know. I have a kik if you wanna message me and just talk. I’m just gonna see how long I can keep this going :)

[champagnetaint]

[0cal-sweetener-queen]

Tiny waist edition

[sunlightbees]

I wanna kill myself. I spend all my left money on Japanese food and now I'm depressed bc I don't have any money AT ALL and I'll never be skinny

I hate myself so much I just wanna hirt myself and made me bleed until I don't feel guilty anymore

how I expect to be thin if I keep eating like that

[strv-b-strv-blog]

Having an ED And anxiety is one of the worst combinations. I want to starve, but when I do, I get anxious and it makes me think I am going to pass out and die, so I eat. And when I eat, I get anxious as well because I know that the number on the scale will go up and I am just going to get fat. It sucks. And this probably doesn't make sense to anyone else. If you have any suggestions to help me get over this, please DM I need help😣💕

[meandmia-annandana-blog]

this needs to stop right now

i hereby pledge to never ever go back to my sw

[tinybutterfly-bones-blog]

My mom just made me eat at 9:30 and broke my fasting period.

[computerizing-blog]

Goals for the rest of 2k18

I really wanted to make a list of goals just so I tangibly have a list of them somewhere. These are kind of personal goals, you don't need to have the same one.

I want to lose 25lbs by the end of December 🛍

Lose 8lbs by the end of October 👻💀

Eat less than 1000 calories every day 🐽

Except on weekends, 1300 calories

Do good on my Taco Bell Interview 🌮🌯

Take a shower at least 5 times a week 💦

Take my multivitamin everyday 💊

Keep my nails painted 💅

These are my goals... they're a little all over the place, but I really hope to stick with them until New Years 😁

[dead-girl-dying]

You're obsessed with pictures of girls who fast for days and throw up after they eat. Girls who stop exercising just long enough to stand on a scale. Girls whose only hobbies are measuring their waists and counting calories. Girls who hate themselves more than they hate hunger pains. Girls who say they'll stop when all their bones are showing, but they keep going. And you are just like them.