#ps2 was literally my first video game

[pics-pizza-peace]

Oh wow, that's. That's a Clone. That's a clone of my comfort character...

[eldritch-spouse]

Kalymir with a Queen like Lara Croft from Tomb Raider?

I'm 99% sure you don't know who Lara or what Tomb Raider is so I'll just give you some examples of what Lara is capable of.

https://youtu.be/f_JZo2swI8Q?si=5OH6l8PtYBY6SWS7 (you only have to watch until 4:40 the rest of it is just lore)

https://youtu.be/lp8NXjqMPOQ?si=rLN8JSCpOPesYWi_

She also fought two Jaguars and killed one of them, the other retreated with it's dead kin. I couldn't find a good enough video to showcase that.

I think Kaly would be proud of her at least.

What do you mean 99% sure I don't know who Lara Croft is? As if Lara Croft Legend wasn't literally the first game I played on my mom's PS2- Quite possibly the first video game I ever touched. As if I don't own the vast majority of Tomb Raider titles what do you mean-

Moving on from that insult.

You and Kalymir are a good fit.

Maybe.

On paper.

You can probably manage your way around Wrath without too much danger, provided you have some kind of weapon at your disposal, especially your twin babies Heckler and Koch USP Match pistols.

You can handle yourself, and that's an admirable quality in Kalymir's eyes. The fact that you are so stupidly tiny and have bones more fragile than the twigs of a tree on the Land of Eternal Rage yet manage to bring down high-rankers with enough persistence, agility and strategy is what has the King pulling at his horns and drooling like an animal.

However.

You drive Kalymir stupid.

And that's awful!

He's so mesmerized by you and your abilities and quite literally never seeing you fail, that he starts seeing you as more than human. And that's horrendous, because it makes him sloppy in his self control.

No longer will Kalymir hold back most of his force when he grabs you, no longer will he make an effort to slow down preemptively when he's charging at you like a bull.

There's a good chance he loses his mind and bites down on you so hard he rips a chunk out.

Seeing you perform the feats you so effortlessly do gets him too excited and too rabid with all sorts of positive emotions that could end with you pancaked under his body weight.

He fears fighting you.

Not because Kalymir thinks you can defeat him, let's not get silly here-

But rather because he knows he'll lose his mind and come to with you gored to pieces on the ground and his cock throbbing.

[toyota-supra]

My Top 10 Favorite Games I Played In 2023

In chronological order. It's a long one.

Titanfall 2

I've been told to play this for years now, though for most of those I did not really know why, as it never seemed like my kind of game. But, ever since I started really getting into mecha sometime in 2022, I decided to finally give it a try. I'm very glad I did. Titanfall 2 is a criminally short First Person Shooter with a very fun mech/pilot dynamic, really good mechanics of movement and combat for both, and some of my favorite level design of any game I've played in a long while. The platforming is crazy good! The mechanics are tight as hell! The mech is awesome! I recommend Titanfall 2 for literally anyone reading this.

Mega Man Zero

The Zero series is the one that most called to me in the Mega Man franchise every time I looked these games over, and I was right in that judgement. While I couldn't say if I was going to appreciate most of the GBA era action platformer difficulty or not, it was clear from Zero's more agile movement and bite-sized missions with very memorization-heavy bosses that I would enjoy it. And I did enjoy it a lot! Most of the bosses kicked my ass but it was an absolute blast to finally learn their patterns enough to defeat them. The problem is, I went out of my way to not get any of the game's health upgrades or energy tanks, making the final boss so hard for me that after days and days of attempts I gave up. Not beating Mega Man Zero is probably my biggest regret of the year lmao

Fate/Stay Night

Honestly, what do I even say? You can see my Saber icon, right? Fate is a franchise I never bothered to get close to, knowing of its name only through vague images and names of more popular characters (not even from FGO, just in general), and from later on getting to know that Fate/Grand Order was the game it is I felt like it wasn't for me at all and who cares. So when I learned what the original VN was actually about I felt stupid. How could something so fitting to my tastes have gone under my radar for so long...? Despite not being much of a reader in general, F/SN is a very long game that feels like it's just as short as you need it to be. The prose flows so well, every single character is lovable in many ways, and there's so much passion written into them and the situations they're in that it's one of the most smooth-flowing VNs I've read (which granted are not many) even though it's around the high 6 digit wordcounts. I love this game dearly.

Stranger of Paradise - Final Fantasy Origin

I wanted to play this game since the first few trailers! How cruel was it that, not only did I not have a powerful enough machine at the time, but the game wasn't even on Steam until the year after release? Final Fantasy Origin is the game it presents itself to be. There's something about it that's so special to a certain kind of person (which I happen to be one of) and that falls flat for everyone else. The combat and its many Weapons, Jobs and Skills to use are just fantastic in how nice they feel, and I really do like the type of story Stranger tells. I haven't finished it yet, but I'm close to it. I like to describe Stranger of Paradise as everything good about PS2 and PS3 games in a modern title.

Pseudoregalia

An old feeling from a new friend. Pseudoregalia is everything I like in 3D Platforming, and a little bit of what I don't. If you've ever looked at a single gif or video of Super Mario 64 and thought, "this looks pretty fun to play," you should be playing Pseudoregalia. If you like goat ladies with big butts, I can't say I understand if that would sell you on a game or not, but it is a feature everyone mentions. I wrote on this game already, so please do check that out and get it. It's one of the three titles of this list that came out this year, and I have not heard enough people talk about it.

Armored Core VI - Fires of Rubicon

My favorite in this list, which is funny because I don't know what to say about it at all. Armored Core is a series I've been studying up on from the outside for a while, and the announcement for this title was my reason to finally dive in. Unfortunately, I did not get past playing the first mission of AC1 a few times and booting up AC3 once. But I will get to it eventually! Fires of Rubicon is one hell of an action game, that I adored for every single one of my (currently) 67 hours of play. Going through the campaign with builds a little too busted for the AI most of the time was my dishonorable focus of the experience, but there's a lot else to do for every kind of person. The amount of freedom you have for messing with your builds for either single or multiplayer is not to be underestimated. Though it could be better. Here's hoping there will be a game that is.

Midnight Club 3 DUB Edition Remix

I played this game as a kid so much that the main menu and its theme are scarred into my mind, yet this whole time I had no idea what the game was actually like due to the fact that most of my playtime was doing a few races and just cruising around. Once you dive into trying to finish the story, MC3 is a much different experience. One that frustrated me so much, I got actually ill from the stress. Please take breaks, gamers! Your health is more important than finishing an 18 year old game! Still, I did eventually do it. Midnight Club 3's handling model and gameplay structure are really impressive in comparison to the much more popular Need for Speed series, and I have to admit I did enjoy the game a lot. It's just a lot harder than it ever needed to be. I'll probably never forget this game, and that's not really a good or bad thing. Just, advice from me, if it gets too hard, maybe switch to sports bikes. Buy that Ducati.

Test Drive Unlimited

Another car game, but this one I have the least to say about of any on this list. I had played TDU on PS2 multiple times before and thought it was awesome. The atmosphere and immersion of this game are unrivaled by any racing game to this day. But playing the PC version with a steering wheel and pedals made everything so much more incredible. I played the Platinum mod, which adds hundreds more cars and fixes a lot of issues with the original game (but not all of them; the game was still really rough and I hate how much the resolution is a pain to change). Overall, one of my favorite experiences with a steering wheel controller so far. Otherwise, a pretty good game if you like driving.

Super Mario Sunshine

An old friend, and a new feeling. I don't play 3D platformers as much as I wish I did, because they're really not part of my main priorities looking for games lately, but every time I play a Mario game, it's like I found love again. It was not the first time I played Super Mario Sunshine, as I had collected a dozen or so Sprites years before, but playing the whole game in I think two weeks during the latter half of the year was such an incredible experience. Unless for some reason you play it on the Switch, Sunshine is a game that loves you as much as you love it. And you do love it, right? I know I do. I'd love to play this game many other times in the future. Granted, that applies to every game here, I just wanted to say it out loud for this one.

Lethal Company

A fairly recent release! Having played it with many groups of people by now, both modded and vanilla, I think Lethal Company is probably one of my favorite multiplayer experiences ever. It is scary and hilarious, but also just really really good, to a level that surprised me for my quality standards of co-op (horror) games. Lethal Company turns friends into improvised horror movie actors and it's incredible. I'm almost at 30 hours played and will likely get to 40 at minimum. It's also pretty cheap and likely runs well on all sorts of machines, so consider checking this one out too.

Honorable Mentions

Witch on the Holy Night and Story of Seasons - Friends of Mineral Town are games I am adoring and could definitely go on this list, hadn't I started them both quite late into December. Maybe next year I'll give them a shoutout!

[skysometric]

so i tried to clickbait. here's how it went

clickbait is not a regular thing for me, because i'm not somebody who wants to "grow my channel." in all honesty, i really just want the video i invested time into making to hit something like 100 views. that, to me, is what "success" looks like – i've hit it with over half of my stream highlight reels so far, and all i want to do is maintain that same momentum. (any more views and the comment section starts to become a source of anxiety.)

unsurprisingly, my "successful" videos are about games that people actually want to watch. think like Mari0 having a niche creator community, or people who look up the true final boss in the latest Kirby game. videos that aren't as successful are about over-represented games like Splatoon, or games that are too niche or out-of-date like Frogger.

typically i have the luxury of making whatever videos i want, because i'm not trying to "grow." but the latest video i put out was a bit of a special case – i knew upfront that practically nobody would want to watch it, and i most likely wouldn't hit my usual 100 views. but i was also highly confident that this video would be fun to watch, a breezy 8 minutes of good laughs and silly commentary.

so i asked myself: how do i get people to watch a video that i'm really confident in, when that video is about Eragon for the PS2?

i really hope i never have to look at this box art again.

let's be honest – no layperson would actually sit down and watch a video about Eragon: The Movie: The Game. if i put that in the title, no matter how much i dress it up with "This Is A Bad Game Lmao," it's going to be crickets.

people who watched the stream or heard me talk it up would absolutely be interested! but that's not enough by itself to reach 100 views; previous videos have proven this, and i only have so many friends. if i want more eyes on it, i have to play the algorithm game – and i am not well-versed in the youtube meta, so i'm flying blind here.

i got to thinking. it's a video i'm confident in. it's short, snappy and sassy, exactly my style. i think people would love it, if they clicked on it. how do i get people to click on it?

…why not just be honest?

i can feel my blood pressure rising just looking at this.

it's a kind of heavy-handed title, honestly. it's a little too on the nose, a little too disrespectful of the viewer's tastes. it is also – or at least i hoped it was when i wrote it – extremely earnest about its intentions, and surprisingly compelling in an anti-invitation kind of way. "come see what is so bad that i would not dare speak its name." that kind of thing.

the thumbnail is also cute, which helps take the edge off. should've made the text bigger, but Oh Well. it's not like that's the most important part here – it's the title that carries this one.

but did it work?

it's complicated.

i mean, i hit my goal of 100 views! that's worth celebrating! it worked just enough to reach my usual metric of success. but only just.

to see exactly what i'm talking about, we need to look at watch time, rather than views.

views and watch time, respectively, for the first 24 hours of the video.

here's the stats for the first 24 hours of the video, before the algorithm picked it up. on the watch time graph (bottom) you can see a very strong stair-step pattern; each step is somebody who watched the whole video, while the tiny bumps show people who watched the first few seconds and clicked away.

now, the wild thing is… my stats are so low that i can see this at all! i can literally go and count the number of people who have watched the whole video. it has the effect of making me rather neurotic about my analytics, but that's a discussion for another day…

either way, the point is that we can see 10 or 11 people actually watched the whole thing, out of 35 views in the first day. this is a really strong proportion, and it's mostly because my friends are the first to watch the videos i put out. (i'm really glad you people like my nonsense 💙)

as mentioned, though, i don't have 100 friends. that's fine, youtube will find more eyes for my video once the algorithm picks it up.

the full set of impressions and views, respectively, with a line marking the first 24 hours.

by looking at the impressions you can see youtube's algorithm slowly kick in; it was quite the slow burn this time, and i think that's because i released the video on a weekend. regardless, we can see views tick up at the same rate as impressions, more or less, gaining almost 100 more views on top of the 35 views it got in the first 24 hours.

these views were mostly driven by the home screen:

by the way, which of you weirdos have notifications enabled for my channel? i mean, thanks! but why?

this means that people went out of their way to click on it; they were interested enough by my clickbait to say, okay fine, let's see what this nonsense is about. the clickbait more or less worked…

except that it didn't translate to watch time at all.

the full set of watch time, with a line marking the first 24 hours.

after the first 24 hours, a grand total of six people have watched the whole thing, out of the 100 more views it's gotten since! that's a lower proportion than most of my other highlights videos get on average.

we can break this down even further by looking at watch time specifically from people who found the video on their home screen, because YouTube lets you look at that:

kinda scary how granular you can get with this, honestly!

unlike the stair-step pattern mentioned earlier, the big slope in the middle of this graph is made of a bunch of people who only watched bits and pieces of the video. in other words, the slope represents all the people who clicked on it, figured out what the game was, and then stopped watching. so the clickbait did work, but it translated to very little meaningful engagement.

now, this could be for any number of reasons! folks who watched the video know that i started with a hook in the first 30 seconds, kept my introductory explanation brief, and then followed that up with all the best parts of the stream. i do think that, as a highlights reel, this is one of the strongest ones i've ever put together.

crucially, though, the title does not state that it's a stream highlights reel. and highlights reels are not everyone's cup of tea! maybe they were expecting a video essay, or some other kind of scripted video – something that was more discussion rather than reaction. maybe people got mad at the clickbait, so they clicked on it just long enough to get an answer and left out of spite! or maybe somebody gave my video a fair shake and just didn't like my style. i mean, it's whatever. people can like what they like.

like i said at the beginning, i'm not trying to Grow My Channel or make an empire out of this. all i really care about is one thing: if i put some effort into something and show it off to the world, i want a few people to see it and enjoy it. that's it! so when it comes to analytics i'm not looking at raw numbers, those don't matter to me. i'm looking for evidence that people like what i spent all that time making.

so my takeaway from this experiment is that clickbait is for people who like raw numbers. it'll get you clicks, sure, but those clicks are as vapid as clicks get. views don't mean much in the long run if viewers don't actually want to watch the video in the first place.

anyway, now that the algorithm has run its course, i've switched the video back to a standard title and thumbnail.

as you can see, eragon was an early adopter of youtuber face syndrome~

i like this way better, personally… but would anyone have clicked on it? who can say for sure.

this was a worthwhile experiment, though, and it reminded me of the whole reason i make videos in the first place – not to Build An Audience, but to preserve my memories in amber! i do this to collect and archive all the good times where i got to share joy with my friends – no matter whether that joy is because of the game, or in spite of it.

i'd say this title and thumbnail do a better job preserving those memories than some clickbait does.

[knightofthegarden]

Aster Lore Collection

Over on twitter, I made a post letting people exchange likes for lore facts - and got over 30!

Twitter is no archive though, and also character limits suck, so in this post I will compile, rewrite, and reorganize all the lore that was earned. (Note: Aster "Яeverse" will get her own post, and so will be omitted from this post. You will get bonus lore instead.)

Note that this is a companion piece to a my lore video, as both help explain each other.

Quick Facts:

Full name: Aster Gardenia

Birthday: March 29th

Age: 28

Height: 5'3" (160 cm)

Representative flowers: aster, gardenia, forget-me-not, lilly of the valley, meadowsweet, bird of paradise

Representative tarot arcana: Strength

Aster is left handed (which, fun fact, makes learning the sword twice as complicated. :'D )

Aster was originally going to have a much more formal speaking style, but it quickly became limiting (both for expression and tweet character limit). My first few tweets had the weirdest vibes.. I would not have survived a stream like that.

The Garden and the Modern Era:

While Aster fell into her magical sleep "once upon a time", she awoke in @wildflowersthebunny's magical garden in September of 2014! This means Aster has lived in the 21st century for just over 9 years.

Aster's gratitude towards Wildflowers is also why she is "of the garden"; the garden protected her slumber, and Wildflowers cared for her when she awoke, so Aster now serves them in place of her former masters.

The hundreds of years of sleep also resulted in considerable muscular atrophy, and Wildflowers literally helped get her moving again. (As in, she rigged my model!) It was during this time of not being able to get up from her sleep casket, getting physical therapy from Wildflowers and hearing about the world she woke up in, that Aster also got to watch Wildflowers start her streaming career, and was inspired to do so herself.

Despite serving a magic garden and waking up from a magical sleep, Aster herself is not magical at all. She is a completely mundane human knight. She also doesn't know all that much about plants, despite being named after them. (At least she doesn't have a pollen allergy?)

Aster's weapon of choice is the hand-and-a-half sword, otherwise known as the bastard sword. She usually wields it two handed, but occasionally makes use of a buckler on her off hand. She recently joined a local HEMA group practicing German long sword, but she's lost a lot of arm strength since her long sleep. Train hard, Aster!

Aster likes retro games despite waking up in 2014 because when she was figuring out the whole technology thing, she saw the playstations and assumed you had to start at 1. She never really got to that third one. There's a lot of good PS2 games. (Nintendo 64 was very confusing.)

Aster has a degree in computer science! Why?? Well, similar to last fact - computers seemed pretty important in this time period, so she thought she had to study them to figure out living here. (It doesn't work like that.) (But swords are expensive so it all works out.)

Pierre (my lovely cat) did not come from Viatorum, he was adopted 4 years ago and has lived his entire life in the 21st century. He loves swords anyway because he has good taste.

Before the Magical Sleep:

Aster was originally from the small kingdom of Viatorum, where she served the royal family, who she refers to as her sovereign. Aster's sovereign consisted of the king, queen, queen-mother, princess, and the young prince. Aster interacted with all of them, but primarily spent time with the prince and princess (since they were similar ages), and was working towards being the prince's personal knight. Their names, and their history, were all erased when Viatorum was conquered.

Aster's sovereign were Viatorum's final ruling family, all of whom were executed when the kingdom was conquered during the war. Viatorum was merely a stepping stone on that larger, more militant kingdom's conquest, but even its name has been lost to the centuries...

There are still a few distant descendants of Viatorum who still remember its holidays, and Aster gets together to celebrate and remember with them whenever she can. The most prominent of these is January 27th, Viatorum's Founding Day.

Aster's duties as a knight mainly consisted of standing guard around the castle and accompanying the royal family - meaning she was not setting out on any grand adventures or military conquests, slaying monsters or defeating dangerous foes. Viatorum was a peaceful place before the war, and her sovereign did not allow Aster to actually fight in that war. (In other words: despite her love of swords, Aster isn't actually especially powerful, and her kill count is zero. Not edgy.)

Aster has not always been the loud, goofy, friendship-filled knight she is today. Aster had very few friends in childhood, and became a knight because she was lonely, and she figured that people would value someone who was strong, reliable, and able to be of service to them. Even among the knights, she was known as a cold, unfeeling person, and most saw her more as a drill sergeant to be wary of than a potential friend. She only knew how to market herself as an effective tool, hoping for someone to see her as "of use" to them, but despite her continuous efforts, she remained alone, because that's not how friends work.

Aster nearly joined the guard not as a knight, but as part of the military band. She plays trumpet! Joining the military band still involved doing drills, and also wouldn't let her have a sword, so she decided to work harder for the more prestigious position instead.

Aster's Sovereign:

The Young Prince: The young prince had a poor constitution, and thus disliked most martial activities, preferring the arts. He was always picking up new crafts; leather-working, sewing, puppetry, painting. He was never satisfied with his results, but Aster found them very impressive.

The young prince had periods where he was proud, brilliant, and ambitious, and others where he was timid and depressed, usually depending on his health. Aster saw his pride as his truest self, and wanted to encourage and cheer him on always. (Now, she will do that for you.)

An anecdote: Once, the young prince fell ill while he was in a different kingdom on a diplomatic trip, and Aster was so frustrated not being there to care for him that she became jealous of the nurses at the other kingdom.

The Princess: The princess was just a year older than Aster, and aimed to take on the martial activities her brother could not, practicing diligently in combat and equestrian arts. She insisted Aster practice fencing with her, and the two often went riding together or walked the gardens and talked for hours. The princess was the first peer Aster felt treated her as a true friend.

An anecdote: The princess was stronger than Aster, even before the muscular atrophy. Aster made her promise not to tell her parents how often she lost their sparring matches, fearing that her right to guard them would be called into question. Aster redoubled her training efforts so she could properly protect the princess and her family. (Now, she does so for the garden and all of her friends.)

The Queen: The queen was incredibly well spoken and well liked, and often held magnificent parties. Viatorum's long peace was often attributed to her talent at earning people's trust, and her writing was said to have built many friendships.

An anecdote: Wanting her attitude to reflect the hospitality of the house she served, Aster forced herself to to try to connect with others at the Queen's parties, even though she had in many ways given up on her ability to do so. While Aster is still not much of a party person, she was surprised to find success, and actually enjoyed getting to know the Queen's many friends. (Now she is able to put herself out on the internet and meet and encourage so many wonderful people she may have never met otherwise! People are nice, actually.)

The King: The king was a strict, sometimes angry man, but he was fair and cared deeply for his people. Aster often worried that displeasing him would cost her her position on the palace guard, but it was he who proved that she was valued for who she was, not her achievements.

The King's passion was for economics, and combined with the relationships the Queen forged with neighboring kingdoms, he was credited for making Viatorum a flourishing center of trade.

An anecdote: At first, Aster always arrived early to escort the queen-mother to tea, often making her feel the need to rush, which was dangerous for someone her age. The king scolded Aster fiercely after his mother-in-law almost slipped coming to the door one day, but was the one to explain that her mistakes didn't automatically make him dislike her. It was the first time she thought of relationships as other than a cost-benefit analysis, and it's a lesson she keeps reminding herself to this day, and hopes to teach her viewers too.

The Queen-Mother: The queen-mother was fiercely loved by the king and queen, and for good reason. Every conversation Aster had with her led to her learning something about people, life, or herself. It was no wonder the queen had such a way with people.

The queen-mother faced many challenges in her old age, but she knew life was worth enduring them, and that was her strength. She'd struggled through many hardships, and found many treasures at the other side.

An anecdote: Waking up in a foreign time period, hardly able to move, it was the queen-mother's memory that inspired Aster to search for a way forward, even before she could see it. It was there. It always is. Now, she hopes she can help others believe that too.

[skaruresonic]

Of course they had to signpost the first save point with an eerie red glow. They had to! They got rid of fixed camera angles, and we can't have players figuring things out for themselves, can we? /s

You know what was scary about the first save point? The fact that the player didn't know it was a save point. Anything, including nothing, could have been inside the well; you don't know what the game is trying to tell you until you actually look.

Following the long trek from the observation deck, the camera shifts to indicate that the player should interact with the well, and when they do, they find a piece of paper at the bottom.

You wouldn't expect such a random item to function as a save point. Hence it startles you when, following James' line about how looking at it makes him feel like someone's groping around inside his skull, the screen cuts to the bright blood-red save screen.

Unfortunately I can no longer find it for the life of me, but I once read a brilliant article about how even the act of saving reflects the games' motifs. PS2 memory saves in "blocks," symbolizing James' "blocked" memory. Every save point you encounter signifies further progress and may represent another "block" you remove from his mind.

The game employs this play on words quite literally; recall that the way to find Maria in the Labyrinth is to arrange a stone block head into the correct position. In addition, it's also reflected in a song title from the OST:

When you take this information in tandem with a comment from Lost Memories: Silent Hill Chronicle that implies the protagonists may be aware of being video game characters on some subconscious level, the "makes me feel like someone's groping around inside my skull" line becomes an unsettling reminder of the player's presence, unseen but still felt.

All this to say, regardless of meaning, the red squares are open to interpretation. They emit a menacing aura without there being a clear reason why.

Building anticipation? Trusting the audience? Misdirection? That shit's bush league. True Artistes(tm) know everything becomes 10x scarier when it glows red

[griseldabanks]

For the writer ask game, would you do 🍓, 🌵, 🥑, and 🏜️, please?

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

It all began when I was thirteen and wanted to share my favorite video game of the time, Final Fantasy X, with a long-distance friend who didn't have a PS2. So I decided I would write down the story of the entire game in novel form, so even if we couldn't play the game together, at least she would know the story and we could talk about it. By the time I finally finished the novelization, we'd drifted apart and I never did show her more than the first chapter, but I don't regret it one bit. In the course of writing the novelization, not only did I discover that what I was doing was called fanfiction, I'd also gotten involved on FFNet and begun to explore the vast world of fan creations. And even though the novelization isn't all that great by my current standards, the act of dissecting a story I loved and then putting it back together again in a slightly different form was invaluable for learning how stories work.

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

I'm assuming this would be a playlist for writing purposes? This playlist is one I use for writing battles or similarly epic scenes.

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@ceterisparibus116 because she's a lawyer. Which is probably very stupid of me, as she's a prosecutor XD

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Literally anything; I am so starved for comments right now T_T But seriously, I love every comment I get, but what makes me especially happy is anything that has more detail than just "It was great, I liked it!"

Writer's Truth or Dare Ask Game

[justsomeectoplasm]

EVERYBODY. I HAD A NIGHTMARE THAT IS ACTUALLY A GOOD PREMISE FOR A SURVIVAL HORROR GAME.

So my nightmare was about playing a horror game in the style of the old ps2 graphics that was similar to fatal frame. In this game you get kidnapped by a sadistic vampire. I found myself at some abandoned small building that was crumbling away in a sort of national park that was a huge forest. There was a woman with me who I recognize as my friend (Note: I have never met this woman irl)

There was a projector and it automatically played a video. It showed the vampire that kidnapped me and said that there are 10 tapes scattered across this park. If I find all 10 tapes, I will be set free. The tapes include multiple clues on where the next one is. However, there's bloodthirsty vampires all over park so I have to be careful not to die.

I found the first type in the building. The second tape was found in a field near a very creepy village full of suprisingly docile amish people (they were fucked up and mutant looking. I mistook them for vampires but they kinda went "Nah it's ok fam. Just don't hurt any of us and we good. You a human after all.")

However, I found out my friend went to a remote camping site that was said that there's humans all gathered to help each other out of the forest. The amish people told me that that was a lie and a hoard of vampires was there instead. I had to basically zoom towards the camping site and when I got there, my friend told me that the third tape is in the small public bathroom. But jist as she said that, an amalgamation of a bunch of mutated vampires started to rapidly approaching. I kept dying over and over again because I didn't get the third tape and I kept getting caught up by the mob. My bullets were useless. I had to run across a village but they were all joined together in such a way that they moved around like a liquid.

When I finally got the tape and escaped with my friend, it turns out the mob was all regular vampires that were waiting for their boss (the guy that kidnapped me) to come back and give them food. Apparently he didn't come back and they all turned into cannibal vampires which in turned mutated them. It was probably the saddest and most fucked up thing my brain conjured in a dream for me. I woke up literally thinking "what the fuck was that dream."

Anyway this a damn fine concept for a game. 10/10 would play it or watch a playthrough.

[dalesramblingsblog]

Brief Look at Judge Dredd Novels, Part X: Dredd vs Death by Gordon Rennie

So. We've... skipped ahead a bit. About eight years, to be precise. And there's absolutely nothing major that we need to talk about that happened in the interim which might have an impact on how we read the decaying urban hellscape of Mega-City One. I mean, yeah, I suppose I was born in that gap and am currently less than a year old at the time of the novel's publication, but why are you trying to pin all this post-apocalyptic stuff on me?

Oh alright, in the grand tradition of "science fiction released in the year 2003," let's stop playing coy and simply admit that it's tough to read Dredd vs Death, the first of Black Flame's newly launched set of Judge Dredd novels, without viewing it through the prism of 9/11 and the Iraq War.

The most obvious culprit here is undoubtedly the Church of Death's attempt to break the Dark Judges out of their imprisonment by crashing an h-wagon into the tower above said prison, but even the nature of the Church as a decentralised group of religious fundamentalists waging warfare in urban environments feels pointed.

Similarly, Rennie includes a moment in which Dredd ruminates on the vampires' undead status depriving them of the meagre rights possessed by an average citizen of Mega-City One, evoking Donald Rumsfeld's infamous categorisation of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay as the "living dead." More literally, the presence of hordes of zombies ties the novel into a post-9/11 fascination with those particular members of the undead, from 28 Days Later through to Paul W. S. Anderson's Resident Evil films and Edgar Wright's Shaun of the Dead.

All of this, however, makes Dredd vs. Death sound considerably more complex and nuanced than it actually is. I mean, that's not to say that it's completely without depth, but it is, first and foremost, concerned with serving as a novelisation of Rebellion Developments' contemporaneous PS2/Xbox/Gamecube/PC game of the same name.

Putting all my cards on the table here, I'm forced to admit that I've never actually played the game, but it's nevertheless quite apparent that Rennie has had to do some finessing of the narrative in order to better measure up to the different standards inherent to the change in medium from video game to prose. Some of these tricks work quite well, including giving Anderson a more active role than she seems to have had in the original game.

Particularly delicious is the reframing of the zombies' attack on the megamall from the point of view of a "living mannequin" caught up in the chaos, a nice way of adding tension to what was presumably just another level in the game itself. Added on to this is the cute touch of having the living mannequin's brother-in-law, referenced in his internal monologue, show up later in the novel for a similar sequence.

But ultimately, once it comes down to the climactic showdown with the four Dark Judges, it's impossible to avoid the impression that we're simply watching a progression of boss battles committed to the printed page. They're very well-translated, mind you, and the decision to distribute the boss battles between Anderson and Giant as well as Dredd is a characteristically shrewd one, but it becomes very clear that any post-9/11 depth one might care to read into it is largely incidental.

Still, the whole thing has an endearingly propulsive, runaway freight train quality that helps it avoid the fate of overstaying its welcome, so it's hard to complain too much. As far as novelisations of video games go - a genre in which I haven't dabbled too much, but that I find hard to believe contains too many gems - my intuition tells me that this is likely to be one of the stronger examples.

Current ranking:

Dreddlocked

Deathmasques

Wetworks

Silencer

The Medusa Seed

Dread Dominion

Dredd vs Death

Cursed Earth Asylum

The Hundredfold Problem

The Savage Amusement

Like what I write? Consider supporting me on Ko-fi!

[yoshihashismattebum]

I dont know if this is a weird question but how did you get into wrestling also who’s your favorite wrestler? (Mine is Kenny Omega)

Hi! Not a weird question at all!

So I'm one of those odd people who actually got into wrestling through video games! (But so did Shinsuke Nakamura, so I'm in good company!) I love a good character creator (can literally spend hours in them) and a YouTuber I watched at the time (thanks NerdCubed) was covering the WWE 2k games. Needless to say, my mind was blown. I decided I *needed* to buy it, even though I had no interest in wrestling at the time... And I loved it!

Then at about the same time (2015) some uni friends and I had started playing the old Smackdown vs. RAW games on an old PS2, and we were having so much fun that we decided we should watch some actual wrestling! Our first PPV was WWE Hell in a Cell 2015. We had such a blast that we ended up staying up until 5am for every PPV after that (oh to be 20 again – it would literally kill me if I tried to do that now). I fell *deep* into the wrestling rabbit hole after that (thanks, suspected neurodivergence) and 8 years later... here we are!

As for NJPW specifically, I started watching in 2019 because I'd quit WWE cold turkey and I needed something to fill the gap. (I'd always promised that I'd stop watching if they brought back noted racist Hulk Hogan... and then they did. So I had to follow through.) But I'd already realised through watching NXT that I preferred other styles of wrestling to the main roster WWE style, so it was the best thing that's happened to me as a wrestling fan really!

As for my favourite wrestler... it depends on when you ask me tbh! There are so many great wrestlers out there and I find it really hard to narrow it down to just one. Kenny is up there for me too, definitely. He's so damn good. But if you forced me to choose right now, I'd probably (after much complaining and indecision) have to say Zack Sabre Jr! He's on such a tear right now, and I adore his technical style. Plus his promos crack me up and I like his politics and taste in music. 

But honourable mentions to Eddie Kingston, Bryan Danielson, Tomohiro Ishii, Shingo Takagi, Willow Nightingale and Jamie Hayter (pls come back soon), and Sami Zayn who was my first favourite. Plus many more who I'm sure I've forgotten!

Sorry for the long-winded answer – I didn't have time to write a shorter one! Hope that answers your questions though!

[andrevasims]

Question Tag Thingies

I kept forgetting to do these, but now I remembered lol

There was 2 different but similar tag game things, so I’ll just do them together!

Tagged by @pikselis @twofee @mdpthatsme @polynovskaya and @thesimofmanu! Thanks so much for thinking of me ^_^

Underneath a read-more cause it got kinda long :P

Rules: Tag 9 people you would like to get to know more/catch up with

Last Song: I was listening to a mix on YouTube of 2000s hip hop at work :P

I can listen to music while I’m working, but so I don’t pull my phone out all the time I try to find hour-long DJ mixes (in hopes that fast/dance-y music will keep my energy up as I do boring work all day lol)

I use the app PlayTube instead of the official YouTube app or YouTube Music, because it has no ads (for FREE!!) and also lets the video continue playing when I lock my phone or minimize the app. Its autoplay feature is actually pretty good at finding another similar hour-long mix to play after the one I searched, so I usually don’t even notice the video changed.

Though PlayTube is probably the 3rd or 4th unofficial YouTube app I’ve had in the past few years, because after a while they either must get Cease & Desist’d or something by YouTube, or they just end up doing what I’m trying to avoid and make you pay for things and/or show ads.

Last Show: Do web shows count? I don’t really watch anything else lol - For that it would be UNHhhh :P I think they’re so funny, and their dynamic reminds me a lot of my friend & me. My friend also watches them, so we’re always joking about who acts like Trixie & who acts like Katya lol

Currently Watching: Umm idk, gameplay videos on YouTube lol

Currently Reading: Not really currently, but I reread Ghost World by Daniel Clowes after getting a physical copy of it - idk if that counts because it’s a comic lol but it’s just my favorite.... thing in general, so I’m really happy I have a physical copy of it that I can see & hold & stuff lol

Current Obsession: I guess my PS2, but now that I’ve reinstalled TS2 it’s fallen a bit to the wayside :P I’ve had it on my computer desk hooked up to my monitor for quite a while now, just no active interest in playing my PS2 games. But then I got the first 2 Katamari games, and that’s been really fun!

----------------------------------------------------

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone?

Umm well I named myself lol but it’s basically a shortening of my last name, so... I’m named after myself :P

2. When was the last time you cried?

When I got a migraine last week. It was this super intense aching pain behind my eyes & temples that lasted for hours/days, and I was woken up by the worst of it after the acetaminophen I took wore off.

Although it hurt, tbh I’m kinda used to just powering through pain, so I didn’t think much of it other than it sucks, but then I started crying as like an instinctive reaction to the pain? idk as I was crying I was like “What, this doesn’t even hurt that bad” lol it was completely automatic

3. Do you have kids?

Nope, I don’t plan on having any either - I’m getting an (elective) hysterectomy in a few weeks actually lol so if for some reason I ever change my mind despite never doing so yet, they’re not coming from me :P

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Pretty much never - I’m very literal about things, and although I can recognize when people are using it I just don’t really see like... the point in adding to it myself I guess? Like if we’re using sarcasm to “secretly” talk about not liking something, I’d rather just openly talk about not liking the thing instead of going “Ohh yeahhh this thing is sooo goood *eyeroll*” over & over lolsdfgdf

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Roller derby, kind of? I’ve never done any sports even as a kid, but back in 2017 I spent a few weeks training with my city’s roller derby team. I didn’t know how to roller skate at all before I started, but as it’d be hard to find enough people to make a team otherwise they just teach everyone roller skating from the beginning.

I never got on the team, mainly because it involved time/money I didn’t really have at that point, and idk what my results on their final skill evaluation was so I’m not sure if I’d have made it anyway lol. I wasn’t that set on playing on the team though, I just thought I’d try something new for once and I got to learn how to roller skate out of it!

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Probably how they treat others, like if they’re talking to people or in a group nearby me I end up listening to their conversations - I mean they’re right there and I have no control over my sense of attention/focus sooooo lol

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both, only having one or the other gets a little boring :P

8. Any special talents?

idk how special I’d actually call it, but a lot of my coworkers point it out as something I’m really good at (which I think is weird because it seems normal but that’s just me lol) - I guess my ability to figure out solutions to things?

Like I’m not that smart tbh but I know the steps to basic troubleshooting, trial & error, process of elimination, etc.... That just feels like common sense to me, but apparently not everyone uses it lol

9. Where were you born?

Midwest US, where everyone used to joke about how cold it was but now they don’t because climate change yaaaay -_-

10. What are your hobbies?

Whatever lets me be creative, like customizing/decorating things I have, taking photos, drawing, and video games of course!

11. Do you have any pets?

Nooo, I love cats but my apartment is really small and since I’m at work all day I’d feel bad for making a cat live here lol

12. How tall are you?

5′5″, I actually thought I was 5′4″ until like 6 months ago lol - I swear I was before, though I’m not really measuring my height regularly :P

13. Fave subject in school?

Probably history, cause it’s interesting to learn about but mainly it had the least (or the easiest) homework lol

14. Dream job?

idk, I thought it was art but now every way that could go sounds like I’d hate it at some point lol - tbh I like what I do now, because it lets me do a lot of things the way I want to without being told what to do directly, and it involves a lot of organizing/categorizing which I really enjoy doing in general.

I don’t really want to do this specific job at this specific company for my whole life, but my dream job would be really similar to it I think

15. Eye colour?

Brown ^_^

----------------------------------------------------

Since I’m late to this I’m not gonna tag anybody, but feel free to jump on if you want!

[doggirldick]

ooooouuuuugh hyperfixation brain on i am rotating dragon quest in my mind. the information.

videos games were so hard bc arcade games were designed to make you keep putting money in them and this carried over into consoles. but some real shit was going on on pcs and the first video game rpgs were appearing with shit like wizardry and ultima but these games tended to be very complicated.

in 1975, yasuhiro fukushima founded a company called eidansha boshu service centre that published real estate magazines. in 1982, the company was failing and was rebranded as a software company devoted to gaming called enix. to find new hires, they sponsored a game programming contest. 3 of the winners would be brought together here to write gaming history: yuji horii, koichi nakamura, and yukinobu chida. they won a trip to the us to applefest 1983 where they discovered these western rpgs.

horii was a freelance writer before this and had written for weekly shōnen jump, so he was known by akira toriyama, creator and artist of dragon ball.

horii, nakamura, and chida would develop a nes game published by enix called the portopia serial murder case, earning them recognition by composer koichi sugiyama (don’t celebrate his name, he was a bit of a japanese nationalist but he’s dead now).

horii decided he wanted to bring rpgs to a wider japanese audience. with nakamura and chida, and now with sugiyama on board and toriyama commissioned, the five started developing a game.

what was really significant is that horii had always been interested in video games as a medium for storytelling and in the face of all these games that were really difficult or overly complicated, horii believed in developing a game that anyone could beat. on may 27th 1986, enix published dragon quest. defining a new rpg subgenre, the jrpg as it’s known today. though the formula wasn’t yet perfected, having toriyama on art and character design made this a huge success in japan.

in january 1987, enix published dragon quest ii, contributing more jrpg staples such as multiple party members. inspired by dragon quest, hironobu sakaguchi, designer for square soft, decided to enter into the jrpg scene and in december 1987, square published final fantasy.

in february 1988, enix published dragon quest iii. this is where the genre was perfected. there are stories of people being mugged in the streets of japan for their copies of dragon quest iii (possibly just an urban legend).

today, when you enjoy a story-driven game. a lot of that stems from what yuji horii contributed with dragon quest.

sadly, enix didn’t have much of a localisation team at the time. dragon quest didn’t reach the west until 1989 as dragon warrior as the name was copyrighted to a ttrpg. people with a nes in the west were interested in mario and zelda at this point, no-one wanted to play a slow game especially one that required a lot of grinding like the nes version of dq1 did, nintendo power even did a giveaway because they literally could not sell enough. by the time dq3 and dq4 reached the us, the snes was already out. none of the snes games were localised but the snes introduced western audiences to final fantasy and its much darker, grittier vibe caused the series to take off. of course, those who were interested in a lighthearted jrpg, were then captured by pokemon fever and picked up a gameboy.

in 2000, enix published dragon quest vii for the playstation and it was localised as dragon warrior vii in 2001 but it’s easily the longest dragon quest game and western audiences were going to dedicate that time with their playstation to final fantasy vii.

in 2003, enix merged with square soft and formed square enix with yukinobu chida as a director. now dragon quest localisations were overhauled. the copyright holders to the name dragon quest were defunct by this point and dragon quest viii was released in japan for ps2 in 2004. reaching the us in 2005 and even europe and australia in 2006 (technically we did get dragon warrior monsters in europe but that’s a bit of a weird outlier, dq8 is really where we first got dragon quest).

now dq8 was a brilliant game, square enix even included a demo disc for final fantasy xii. and they really tried to hype up dragon quest ix for the ds with tv ads featuring seth green in the us and jedward here in the uk and ireland. and this did bring in many more fans, it finally caught my attention with dq9.

however, the fact of the matter is, here people don’t know the historical significance of dragon quest. they go to pokemon for a lighthearted silly jrpg. and final fantasy for a dark, gritty jrpg. dragon quest is lighthearted and a silly like pokemon but commit enough time to them and you’ll be expecting all the plot twists. but commit enough time and an unexpected plot twist will come along, revealing that they can pull dark moments.

many pokemon fans have had the dragon quest story experience already by playing pokemon mystery dungeon. mystery dungeon was created by koichi nakamura of course so it all comes full circle, yes the first mystery dungeon game was a dragon quest one and there are 4 dqmd games total though only 1 was ever localised.

oh and nakamura’s company, chunsoft, merged with spike in 2012 to form spike chunsoft. spike are known for danganronpa if that means anything. dragon quest viii and ix were developed by level-5 who are known for professor layton and ni no kuni. aaaaand yuji horii wrote most of the script for chrono trigger which also had art and character design by akira toriyama, that’s another square soft game. point is, you might not think you know dragon quest, but you know something related to dragon quest.

[flowergirlmiwa]

games I wish I had when I was a kid!

Yu-Gi-Oh The Eternal Duelist Soul

This was one of the best selling games on the GBA, but I got Dark Duel Stories on GBC instead. Eventually I got 7 Trials to Glory, a mixed bag of a game I nonetheless hold dear to my heart, but I wish I had EDS as a kid. EDS is the perfect game to be the first YGO game on GBA. The spelltraps are massive blowouts, caveman Yu-Gi-Oh is in full effect, and the cardpool is both small and nostalgic. EDS (or the original Japanese release) was the first video game that actually tried to follow the rules of the real world OCG/TCG card game and it did a pretty good job along with a clean presentation, great music and flavorful decks to grind against. Plus the packs you pull from are mostly based on real Japanese card sets! Basically I admire a lot about what this game did in 2002 and in a potential world where I got it alongside my GBA SP in 2003 I would have been set for years. Instead I got... Dark Duel Stories in late 2003 around the time I got my GBA SP, and that game is .. not as worth investing time into. Oh yeah and it has a cute calendar system with weekly matches at the duel shop and oooo it's just such a cute game!

Goldeneye 007

I didn't have a lot of N64 games as a kid, but out of all my regrets on the console, I easily missed out the most not owning Goldeneye. Now I can appreciate it as basically the Super Mario 64 of first person shooters and imagine that, even though I only owned one controller, those levels would have kept me coming back again and again obsessively for hours. I can just imagine how I would have organically find the island on Dam by myself and wondered what was out there. I never had that chance

Super Smash Bros Melee

Throughout the early 00s I had various nostalgic experiences playing the original Super Smash Bros, and eventually I craved very dearly to play it's sequel. Literally all I could tell you is that it had (Scott the Woz voice) "a freaky STORY MODE! now that's cool!" and you could play as Bowser. It looked so damn cool but I didn't have a GameCube. I would have dreams about playing this game I knew very little about. I actually can guarantee I read about the Sonic and tails in melee rumor before I had seen more than an hours worth of gameplay in my life (all through playing demos in 2002).

When did I actually get a GameCube? 2007. I actually remember visiting Nintendo World NY in 2006 right before release of the Wii and playing Melee on one of their demo kiosks (and wind waker for the first time ever, notably). I got my hands on a GameCube in summer 2007 thanks to a friend of my dad's and pretty much the first thing I did was go to the still surviving Hollywood Video in The City and rent melee. Now considering I was 12 the first time I got to extensively play melee and really enjoy it, you could say I was still a child and that's true. I wish I somehow had a GameCube around 2004 and got to play it then though. Look, things felt different in my life then, it wasn't the same kind of feeling to me. By the time I got to play it I didn't really have that childish exuberance and excitement. Plus I got a Wii that same year for Christmas so my overall excitement for the GameCube was muted lol.

The Simpsons: Hit and Run

I would have gobbled this up as a kid even if not the biggest fan of the simps, if I had gotten this at release for PS2 I could imagine I would have spent many hours playing it

Pokemon Stadium 2

As a kid I desperately wished I had this game and rented it a bunch of times. When I discovered you could emulate N64 I spent most of my time doing so playing this game. I eventually got my own real copy around 2019 but considering I would leave the first game on for days on end I would have loved to have had stadium 2 as a kid. Plus it actually has single player content and provides plenty to people without use of a transfer pak too! I was fascinated by the updates as a kid renting the game

[dotjade]

[mild spoilers for .hack//Sign lol]

im going to catalogue my .hack thoughts here i've decided

i have been going through the entire .hack franchise since last April, starting with .hack//Sign because a friend introduced me to it and reminded me of my early obsessions with "Media Where The Main Characters Go Into A Virtual Gamer World That In A Technical Sense Sucks Ass But 8 Year Old Me Wanted To Be There More Than Anything Else"

This is the Purposefully Unfinished .hack//Sign thoughts post as I'm currently leading a large amount of my friends through Sign and they haven't seen the end yet so I can't talk about the end bits but all .hack//Sign fans should know that Yes I am an immense fan of That Part

Never thought how cool the concept of someone actually being stuck in a videos game really could be until this anime. I heard plenty about SAO and other "Virtual Gamer World" media out there pulling bits like "but if u die in game u die for real" and the like and not much else so seeing an anime that is vague enough about the actual events taking place that the question of "what DOES happen when you die if you're stuck here?" ends up being kinda scary! Especially with the addition of the actual coolest thing I've seen a VGW media do literally ever which is oh idk

actually making the game part a game

especially when being sold about SAO by my brother who braved the entire first season, it seems like none of these media make an effort to make the Game Part of the world like. a real game? not that they need to limit themselves to how a game functions to tell the story but it always feels like the rules of the game come second to The Protag Who's Above This Actually

and alternatively, .hack//Sign is all about a bunch of players just playing the game! People who pay a monthly fee (god i feel that) to play an open ended game where the biggest appeal comes from playing however you see fit, when so much is possible but all within a ruleset that a game could have. And technically a ruleset a game DOES have since .hack//Sign was created to be a precursor to the events of the .hack//Infection PS2 series, so it's all full circle! Small details like a limited character creator, items used to escape the dungeons or reveal the map, or even just your avatar freezing in place because you went afk are all prevalent in the anime and it makes it feel so much like a place to care about instead of a backdrop for a Normal Boy to do Cool Moves for Free

This also doubles up as the reason why I'm so attached to the escalating nature of What's Really Going On in '.hack's "The World" as even when it gets so intense it could even be considered out of hand, it's all hidden within something that is, to the average person, a regular ass video game to pass the time with your friends online. Technology like VR and super-huge MMOs have just touched down in this franchises world and have a strong public appeal. Nobody has reason to doubt this video game, making those who are caught up in the true secrets of the game all the more relatable. It's awesome I love it

I'll say more about .hack//Sign later once my friends who can see this (hi guys) have wrapped up Sign as well. But as someone who doesn't watch a lot of anime and Sign was like, my 3rd anime ever, it blew my mind into small pieces. I love .hack

[jobamadotnet]

TOP 10 rappers ever (in my opion)

10 - 2 Pac

2pac helped pave the way for good soul kind people to enter the rap scene and made raping cool again

he also had beef wit some fat ass named. Biggie smalls lol funny name

Unfortunately 2pac passed away after losing control of his vehicle after trying to evade paparazzi with his wife princess Diana and his son mario judah 😿😿😿😿

Some people say 2 pack is alive still and is hiding somewhere in Albania so I'll have to come there someday and see if I can find him.

9- Obama

Obama is the first black rapper of Dominican decent and paved the way for Michael Jackson to make ABC song for the Jackson's 5 thanks jobama

8 - Jack Black

Jack black the first black rapper to have black in his name

He also made the peaches song which directly inspired kendrick lamars critically acclaimed masterpice section 80 which was included in the insanely successful video game django unchained by naughty dog for the ps2 which sold 3 trillion copies in 2 picoseconds

7 - Nas

Nas was the first gay rapper and paved the way for lil Nas x and was the first homosexual person since homosexuallity was invented in 1664 by two Israeli teachers who got bored while sitting by the fire.

Nas also made the only rap album ever Illmatic which was the first rap album ever made in 1873.

6 - Ye

Ye fka Kanye West Is the first rapper to be Autistic and Have ADHD. (He is literally me)

He is also the first rapper to have never read book (also me)

But unfortunately He is a Soulja Boy Meatrider and has defended Elon Musk so his public execution is on September 11th, 2001.

5- Ashnikko

I put this here just to piss some folks off but it's true. Ashnikko >>>>> Kanye (this is joke pls no kil)

Ashnikko is the first gay woman reaper and the first blue person to be better than eminem 🐱🐱🐱🐱

Eminem is not on this list because I forgot he was a rapper.

4- Grimes

Grimes is the first female rapper to sound like angels coming inside of me

She also was in the suicide squad movie wit jared leto (my mom didn't let me see that movie cause it was rated r also I heard it was just a bad film but idk it could be misunderstood af or something I gotta peep it now that I think about it)

Also she likes robots and elves and shi and kan man still talking about how much he loves hitler and shit even though let's be real he's secretly gay for that dude.

3- Andrew Tate

andere tate is the first rapper with a bhuttload money

he is also the first rapper to live in Romania

He is also the first pregnant rapper (Yes he beat Nas to the punch.)

Unfortunately he got booty raped In the Romanian gulag and now he spends the rest of his life inside of his home with mematic kill agent

2 - Lotus Juice

little juice is the first Chinese rapper being birthed before the first rapper ever (Michael Soft)

Rapping was a medium invented by teh Chinese to control public consciousness by implanting nanomachines that turn babies into elijon muskrat

Unfortunately after wrapping up production on the critically acclaimed Persona 3 Soundtrack Lotus Juice died in a fatal Warthog crash In Halo 3.

Honorable Mentions

JAY-Z

Hov, Aka Jigga is the first rapper to get laid, see anything is possible... u just gotta put the work in.

Playboi Carti

Playboi Carti is the first rapper to sound like an autistic mole rat and plays Danganronpa #BasedOrCringe???

Eminem

Eminem was the first Latinx Rapper 🥶🥶🥶 he is also the first rapper to rhyme orange with door hinge nine inch ice age

KID CUDI

Kid cudi is the first rapper to hum instead of rap changing the medium for da future generations

Pusha T was going to be on this list but has been disqualified due to his horrific crimes against salamanders

1- Tyler, The Creator

T man is the only alive clipse fan in the year 2023, and he is also the only rapper with a foot fetish therefore making him the best rapper of all time because I said so also he's literally me

Thanks for reading

My phone overheated while making this pls drop a reblog and like!!! And follows are appreciated I need friends on this app pls be my friend

[knackeredforever]

Trying to play through the metal gear series has been one of the most infuriating things I’ve ever done not because of the games themselves they’re amazing but actually being able to play them is the issue:

First metal gear solid 1 (no I have not played the 2d games maybe I’ll get round to playing them eventually) played the original ps1 game on a ps2 worked almost perfectly except for slight graphical errors weird see through clones of the models always appeared next to them like shadows as if all the models were cloned it was slightly annoying but it was such a minor issue that It didn’t bother me and I finished the game fine.

Then mgs2 on an original ps2 no issues at all and it’s my favourite of all the metal gears that I’ve played genuinely one of the greatest video game stories I’ve ever experienced with great gameplay that improves on everything the last game did.

Then we get to mgs 3 and here are where the problems begin first of all I played the game on ps2 with a disc that seemed relatively clean but while the gameplay was fine the cutscenes we’re constantly freezing making playing very annoying considering metal gear is 50% cutscenes so I had to sit through a lot of stuttering cutscenes it didn’t happen all the time but it was very annoying when it did. Now those who’ve played mgs3 will know near the end of the game there is a section that you shoot enemies on the back of the motorbike this section is both gameplay and cutscene which means it has the painful property of both having freezing issues which would not unfreeze at all and also being unskippable I gave it a few tries and tried waiting for frozen cutscenes to unfreeze but eventually I had to relent and watch the last hour of the game on YouTube. I’d already complete most of the game anyway it was still really annoying though but hey at least the game didn’t break literally halfway through and not just that but the entire console stops working wouldn’t that be funny hahahahahahahahaha…

Metal gear solid 4 uggghhhhhhhhh this one is really painful so basically I bought a ps3 of eBay like a month and a half ago cause their was one for a good deal despite me not finishing mgs3 yet I had bought it mainly for mgs4 which cannot be played “legally” on anything but a ps3 and when it arrived and I tried it ,it worked fine. So I later ordered mgs4 and it never arrived great I then had to wait 2 weeks to get my refund from eBay but no big deal I order a new copy and it arrives I start playing it works and it’s fine. Well one small issue the ps3 is having issues starting it has to be turned on and off multiple times before it can properly start and messing with the hdmi channels on my tv. Well it’s not that big of a deal so I’m now about half way through the game at the raging raven boss fight and decide to call it a night I go to sleep, I wake up the next morning and try to start the ps3 again but despite all my attempts it won’t turn on eventually I get it on but trying to run mgs4 crashes the console. I try it on a different older tv same thing happens keep trying it now I’m getting problems with green flashing lines and crackling noises NOPE eventually I can get the game working again but eventually within a few seconds it crashes. The console keeps turning itself automatically with a loud click sound so after a bit of research I find out the console is probably overheating and turning itself automatically maybe due to dirt in the fans. I would like to remind you the console worked completely fine when I first got it. So if the original copy of the game I ordered had arrived I may have been able to play through it no problem. But the story dosent end their because I decided after this happened that instead of spending money on trying to repair my ps3 or buy a new ps3 I would instead use an emulator specifically RPCS3 which is apparently the best one with mgs4 being the game that most videos discussing the Emulator showed off as one of the best games to use the emulator for. So seemed perfect right? well after downloading the emulator a rom for mgs4 (arrrrr) and the other files necessary the emulator runs the game up to when it loads and within 5 seconds it crashes and after several hours of research and testing making changes to try to fix it I can’t get it to run without crashing every 5 seconds I have a decent pc too so I know it isn’t my specs. Honestly at this point I’m thinking of just watching the rest of the game on YouTube because I really don’t want to have to buy anything else to try to get this game working plus I’ve already bought mgs5 on steam to play when I finished 4 (also I already played mgr last summer because of the MEMES DNA OF THE SOUL)

But anyway yeah I love these games but they certainly don’t love me back but at least the mgs master collections as long as they are good will make playing these game a lot easier so no one else has to go through the metal gear solid suffering that I have done these last few months

I just want to play the funny sci fi stealth game series man