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bcdrawsandwrites · 2 months

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[ID: A Team Fortress 2 fanfic banner in the style of the game's achievement icons. On the right, Spy's hand is shown holding a lit lighter, while on the left, Pyro's hand reaches for it. Everything is in slightly warm grayscale, except for the lighter's flame, which is orange. On the bottom left is the chapter's title in yellow-white, reading "CHAPTER SEVEN: PILOT LIGHT" /end ID]

Flickering

Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Rating: K+ Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship Characters: Spy, Pyro, Engineer, Medic, Heavy Warnings: General references to trauma, panic attacks, self-harm Fic Description: After the events of the comics, the mercs try to go back to how things were, but it’s never that easy.

Spy can see his teammates going through their own struggles… but something seems to be very, very wrong with Pyro in particular.

And since no one else seems to be doing anything about this, Spy makes it his mission to get to the bottom of what is troubling Pyro. For no particular reason. Beta Readers: @mechmolar, @gonturan0, @junuve NOTE: One of the books mentioned in this chapter is real book! Sandvich goes to whoever guesses what book it is.

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Chapter 7: Pilot Light Summary: In which Pyro goes on a shopping trip with Spy.

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Spy lost sight of Pyro soon after they left the lab. That was fine by him—if it didn't want his help right now, then he was going to take a break from this nonsense.

Thus he found himself in his smoking room, settling into his armchair and lighting a cigarette. He took a few moments just to let himself rest, focusing on blowing smoke rings up at the ceiling. This is what he should have been doing all along—what he would have been doing today had it not been for this stupid self-appointed mission.

Well, this, and reading more of his current book, which he was unable to do given the Pyro had tossed it into the fire. The memory made him shudder, but of course, he knew now what the Pyro had been trying to do. It had been trying to show him the colors—or lack thereof—that it saw.

What a strange mind this creature had.

Ah, but there he was again, with his mind on his mission when he should be resting. Sighing, Spy grabbed a nearby magazine and began flipping through it. He's already perused the articles that had interested him, so he settled for reading through the ones he'd overlooked. He read for several minutes, near dozing as he flipped to the next page, only to jump at the sight of fabric, dark red against bright red, and his heart pounded as the scent of blood filled his nostrils. His arms felt as though a heavy weight had been placed within them.

He shook his head—no, it was merely a photo of a woman's dress, its colors hideous and tacky. With a snort he tossed the magazine aside.

This was stupid. It was a day off, and he was going to the bookstore to acquire another copy of his book. But just as he rose from his chair—

Knock, knock.

Groaning, Spy approached the door and opened it. "What is it, I—oh."

The Pyro stared at him.

"If it's nothing urgent, it will have to wait," Spy said, squeezing past Pyro and shutting the door behind himself. "I'm heading into town for a quick errand."

At that, Pyro perked up, and held up its hands in the universal gesture for "wait." It then hurried off, and Spy raised an eyebrow as he heard it clomping up the stairs. A moment later it returned with a pink handbag over its shoulder.

"You wish to join me?" Spy guessed, and the Pyro nodded. He wanted to protest—it didn't even know where he was going, and could it even read to begin with?—but stopped himself. This creature lived in the base, so perhaps getting away from this place for a while would do it some good. "Very well. So long as you do not set fire to anything."

The Pyro gave him a hard stare, but made no protest.

"Come with me, then."

Spy led the Pyro out to where his car was parked, and unlocked the door so it could enter. Once it was in the passenger seat, Spy pulled away from the base, taking the long desert road out into town.

Of course, they wouldn't be stopping at Teufort. While it was the nearest town, it lacked a bookstore (and the intelligence required to be able to run one). Instead he drove them through it toward the next town over—a longer drive, but a necessary one.

Pyro merely stared out the window, making no attempts at communication. Not a surprise, Spy supposed. They had yet to figure the cause of its muteness outside of general shellshock, and while a change of scenery might help, he doubted it would magically cure it.

Before them stretched the vast desert, its warm red earth zipping past the bright red sports car. Spy hummed in thought before proceeding to break the silence: "All of this is gray for you as well?" He sensed Pyro give a start, and out of the corner of his eye saw it nod. "I suppose it's not much to look at to begin with."

He turned to steal a quick glance at it—it had gone back to staring out the window again, though its head was slightly lowered. "Perhaps we will find something at the bookstore that will inspire some color for you." Pyro finally turned away from the window to look at him, and Spy realized he hadn't told it where they were going. "I'm replacing the book you destroyed," he said, a growl edging into his voice.

When he glanced at the creature again, it showed no signs of remorse, or signs of any response at all, save its continued gaze on him.

Spy frowned, keeping his gaze on the road. Normally trips like this were a good time for him to think, but the silence from his passenger was not a comforting one, and certainly not one conducive to meditation. It would be better even to listen to what had once been Pyro's meaningless babble.

He opened his mouth, only to close it when he spotted the sign for the town. He would discuss things later—or attempt to, anyway.

Once they had pulled into the parking lot and stopped, Pyro eagerly leaped out of the car, looking up at the bookstore. Spy hoped it wasn't imagining the place going up in flames, and decided to stick close to it just in case. Once he was done finding what he came for, perhaps he could let it look at picture books for a while or something.

Stepping inside, Spy was unsurprised to see and hear the customers and staff immediately staring at Pyro and murmuring to each other; the populations outside of Teufort were less used to the eccentricities of the RED team. But, to his surprise, they did not seem to be afraid of the Pyro's appearance, but rather, were remarking that it was strikingly similar to some "famous CEO." Interesting.

Still, Spy had not come here to gather intel, and waved Pyro over to the new books section, where he sought the replacement for the book Pyro had destroyed. It took only a few moments to locate, but as he grabbed it, another book caught his eye. It was a new release by another author he enjoyed, and he found himself flipping through it. He may as well grab a few more books while he was out.

As he was looking over a third book, he abruptly realized that Pyro was no longer standing beside him. With a few choice French and Spanish curses, he whipped around in search of the missing mercenary. First he looked toward the children's section, but did not immediately spot it there. He began to sweat as the thought of the creature causing property damage here crossed his mind.

A search through the children's section came up empty, and he nearly swore again before spotting a familiar black and red figure by the fantasy shelves. Sighing, he hurried up to it to find it had picked out a book and was looking it over.

"Find something you like?" he muttered, and the Pyro lifted its head and nodded at him. "I hope you don't expect me to pay for this." Frankly, it should be paying for his books.

Pyro stared at him for a long moment before giving a quiet huff and turning back to its book.

Well, that was more of a response than he'd expected. Making note of where the Pyro was, Spy went back to look through more books himself. He occasionally looked up to make sure it wasn't causing trouble, but at most it created a mild inconvenience for other customers, who carefully squeezed around it.

Once he had gathered a small armful of books, Spy approached Pyro again. "We're leaving," he announced, and the Pyro stepped away from the bookshelf, still carrying the book it had selected. Spy barely kept himself from grimacing at the sight—he hoped he wouldn't have to fight with the creature when it realized it had to pay for the book.

The cashier quirked an eyebrow at Spy's mask, but otherwise said nothing as she rang up his books and he wrote out a check to cover the payment. Behind him, the Pyro seemed to be rifling through its handbag.

Once Spy had completed his purchase, he stepped back to watch the Pyro. His eyebrows raised when he saw that not only had it retrieved money from its bag—it had already counted out exact change. The cashier smiled upon checking it herself, and handed Pyro a receipt and a bookmark with its new book. Pyro accepted these and turned back toward Spy expectantly.

Spy realized he'd been staring, and gave a shrug before heading back out to the car. As the two settled themselves inside, he couldn't help but glance curiously at the cover of the book Pyro had purchased. Once he spotted a plump unicorn running across a stylized forest at sunset, he couldn't help but remember the plush unicorns he'd spotted in Pyro's bedroom, and rolled his eyes. Of course that would be the book it would be drawn to.

They continued their drive back to the base in silence, at least for the time being. Rather than looking out the window, Pyro was absorbed in reading its new book. While Spy knew better than to take his eyes fully off the road, he did cast a few glances at the pages and was surprised to find no illustrations. "I must admit," he found himself saying, "I did not know you were literate."

The Pyro slowly looked up at him. Though he could read no expression on its mask, he got the distinct impression that it was glaring at him.

He shrugged. "Not all of our team is. It's a fair assumption."

Recalling something he'd wanted to bring up earlier, he gave a thoughtful hum. "Why do you keep silent?"

Pyro froze, its head facing forward, staring blankly at the road ahead.

This could potentially end badly, but Spy pressed on. "The Medic did say there's nothing physically wrong with you, as far as he could tell. So what is it that keeps you from making noise?"

Pyro shook its head.

"You do not wish to tell me? Or you do not recall?"

It nodded.

Heaving a sigh, Spy continued to stare out at the desert road, considering his words. "Whether you wish to tell me or not, it would not be possible for you to do so under the present circumstances, regardless, so I can force nothing out of you."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Pyro tip its head slightly.

"Something is holding you back," he went on, keeping his tone calm. "You may not recall exactly what happened in the depths of Gray Mann's base, but perhaps you can identify the feeling or thought that prevents you from speaking."

The Pyro lowered its head—avoidant or pensive, Spy wasn't sure.

"Is it a memory of pain that keeps you silent? Fear, perhaps?"

Pyro crossed its arms. Spy wondered if it was offense, a confirmation, or both.

"If it is fear," he continued, "consider that no one here would harm you."

At that, Pyro did look at him, and grabbed its right arm.

It took Spy a moment to connect the dots. "That—that was not the same thing!" he sputtered. "I thought you were trying to attack me!"

Pyro stared for a moment, tipped its head, and looked away.

Sighing, Spy shook his head. "It was... a misjudgment on my part. But you—!" He bit his tongue, then gritted his teeth. "I'm..." The word lodged in his throat, and he fought to regurgitate it like a poorly-cooked dinner. "...sorry."

The Pyro looked back at him, and gave a slow nod.

Spy went quiet, letting the moment settle (and his pride attempt to recover), and considering his next words. "With... that out of the way... I assume you trust me, no?" Goodness knew why, when so few people did, but he wasn't going to question it right now.

But when Pyro neither shook nor nodded its head, Spy snorted out a laugh.

"Well, I do not blame you there. It is, after all, in my nature—and job description—to be dishonest, as it is in your nature and job description to burn people alive." He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "I suppose there is little reason for you to trust what I say. Though you did seek my help." For a second he looked it in the lenses before turning back to the road. "And if you still seek that help, then you must trust me when I say that I, nor any of the others, will seek to harm you if you speak."

He waited to see the movement of its head out of the corner of his eye—whether nodding, shaking, or turning away entirely. When nothing happened, he glanced over curiously to find the Pyro facing forward, staring blankly at the desert road ahead.

Frowning, Spy faced the road again. Perhaps this was too heavy of a question to ask at this—

"Hm."

Spy nodded, initially only recognizing it as a sound of confirmation, when realization hit him like the strike of a bat to the back of his head.

At the same time, Pyro's breathing became shallow and hurried, its hands rising toward its throat.

Swearing under his breath, Spy fought to recall what Heavy had done earlier that day—the calming words he had spoken, the actions he had taken. He cursed again when he remembered how Heavy had actually taken both of Pyro's hands in his own—an action Spy could not perform in their current situation. His mind raced, flitting back and forth over different concepts while his passenger's panic grew. He couldn't threaten to crush any invisible enemies like Heavy had. Pyro liked fire, but that wasn't a reasonable thing to have in his car at the moment, and it could only see it in shades of gray anyway, so would that really do anything? Merde, he needed a smoke—

His eyes widened, and with one hand still on the wheel, he reached into his coat pocket. Quickly he found what he was looking for, and flicked the lighter open and on, holding it out to Pyro.

The Pyro, who had begun clawing at its throat again, gave a strangled gasp at the offering. It stared at it, still fighting for breath.

"Take it," Spy said, waving the lighter impatiently.

With a shaky hand, Pyro reached out and took the lighter, holding it gingerly between its gloved fingers. Its other hand was still on its throat.

Grimacing, Spy glanced over at the Pyro and knocked the book out of its lap and onto the floor—should it drop that lighter on anything other than its suit, it would set the car ablaze. The action startled Pyro enough for it to move its free hand away, and Spy took the hand in his own, drawing it down and further away from its throat.

He did not give any promises of protection, or threats toward any enemies; he would not have trusted such words from a spy himself. Instead he stayed quiet, keeping a hold on Pyro's hand as it continued to stare at the lighter held in its other. All the while, he kept his other hand on the wheel and his eyes on the road, willing this moment to end.

It did, eventually, after an awkward silence on the remainder of the empty stretch and an unnerving drive through Teufort (which was holding a 5k, in the heat of the day, on a road it had oh-so-helpfully not blocked off). As they pulled back up to the RED base, Spy noticed that Pyro's breathing had returned to normal, and it was still staring at the lighter.

Sighing, Spy slipped his hand away from Pyro's grip and removed his key from the ignition. "You see, then?" he said, and the Pyro looked at him. "You're home now, safe and unharmed." When it continued to stare, he went on, "In spite of breaking your sudden vow of silence, no harm has come to you."

It continued to stare for a moment before looking down at the lighter in its hand again. It drew in a breath, heaved a long sigh, and snapped the lighter shut.

"I hope this trip was helpful for you, friend," Spy said, unbuckling himself and reaching back to grab his books. He stepped out of the car, and the Pyro did the same, grabbing its own purchase from the floor of the car. It said nothing this time, but nodded, and Spy hoped he wasn't imagining the slightly more relaxed air around it.

The two made their way back into the base before parting ways, Pyro heading back up to its own room and Spy heading for his smoking room to put his books away. One book was set upon the arm of his chair while the others were placed on the bookshelf.

A more productive day than he'd anticipated, he mused as he settled into his armchair and retrieved a cigarette. Perhaps now they would make some progress with this—

He reached into his inner pocket again, and fumed.

The Pyro still had his stupid lighter.

#tf2 pyro #tf2 spy #team fortress 2 #my art #my writing #fanfic #flickering fanfic #I'M STILL HERE #also this fic is completely finished #I just need to ... actually post it

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