#python spells

[coding-emoji-spells]

Python Warding Spell

def innerWard() : return True def outerWard() : return True if innerWard(): print("Inner Ward Active") else: print("INNER WARD DOWN!") if outerWard(): print("Outer Ward Active") else: print("OUTER WARD DOWN")

[cecenyss]

Current mood: that prisoner in Camelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail who just hangs in the dungeon by his wrists clapping along to the dancing in the castle

[labradoritedreams]

[aimlessarchery]

february activity

Skill Points:

+1 Monthly +1 Thread (Reason)

Total: 49

Allocated: Flying D+ → C Reason E+ → D

Rank Up Rewards: - Veteran Duelists (Battalion) [Flying C/Authority C] - Fire [Reason D]

[amphitheresarewingednoodles]

The Elements

CArBON, CaRbON

NeON

SiLiCON, SiLiCoN, SILiCON, SILiCoN

PHOSPHORuS, PHOSPHoRuS, PHOsPHoRuS, PHOsPHoRuS, PHoSPHORuS, PHoSPHoRuS

IrON

COPPEr, CoPPEr

ArSeNIC, ArSeNiC

KrYPtON

SiLvEr, SILvEr

TiN

XeNON, XeNoN

BISmUTh, BiSmUTh

AsTaTiNe

TeNNEsSiNe, TeNNEsSINe, TeNNeSSiNe, TeNNeSSINe

OGaNEsSON, OGaNeSSON

[foone]

Programming languages for furries:

* cobra

* cowsel

* dog

* foxpro

* fish

* gamemonkey script

* grasshopper

* lynx

* mouse

* neko

* pike

* python

* ratfor/ratfiv

* serpent

* swift

* squirrel

* unicorn

* wyvern

* zebra

Honorable mention:

* squeak

* Apache Pig Latin

* moo

* wolfram

Dishonorable mentions:

* viper (it's for some cryptocurrency bullshit)

Mentions:

* NewtonScript (technically contains the word "Newt")

* OCaml (it almost is named O-Camel but it's spelled wrong)

* AWK (it's pronounced the same as the Auk)

Required pedantry: python, my favorite language, is actually named after Monty Python, not the snake.

[panelshowsource]

random things to watch over the holiday break

happy holidays friends (⸝⸝^ᴗ^⸝⸝)❄️ as many of us have time off from our normal schedules, are taking long-haul flights or car drives, and will be spending hours in broom closets to avoid our terrifying families, i figure this is the perfect time to look back on the year and put together some watch links for over the break ❄️❄️❄️

—

panel shows

the christmas special of never mind the buzzcocks is always...something else

speaking of, icymi in a panel show miracle earlier this year an anonymous source provided beautiful archival copies of the first 12 series of nmtb — so this is the perfect time to revisit its classic era!!

junior taskmaster just wrapped up its first season! very wholesome, for the whole family (don't forget to check out the taskmaster podcast discussions for each episode, hosted by ed gamble!)

there were some great eps of cats does countdown this year but this one was probably my standout<3

because this series is on sky so we have to be careful circulating it, not everyone got a chance to watch rob beckett's smart tv when it aired this year! some of the panel guests include natasia demetriou, nicola coughlan, david tennant, romesh, and alan davies, among others

idk if this is controversial but i think the australian guy mont spelling bee MIGHT be better than the new zealand version... i'm not sure yet... i need someone else to watch every single episode and tell me what my opinion should be. i also want to thank this show for teaching me how to spell vinaigrette

this, this, and this were some of my favourite episodes of wilty this year!! btw the 2024 christmas episode just dropped!

there were a lot of wild lineups on mel giedoryc: unforgivable this year, but i'd recommend just starting with the first episode of the latest series because..well you'll understand when you see it

this year i made three big lists of random panel show moments that, in my humble opinion, you will love wasting your holidays hours clicking through: part 1 / part 2 / part 3

misc. tv

the royal variety performance 2024

the completely made up adventures of dick turpin was renewed for s2 so make sure to catch up!!! it's SO stupid hahaha

on a similar, less stupid note, ludwig will also be back for s2!

we're all still missing sean lock, who passed away three years ago, so it's never a bad time to revisit 15 storeys high — especially now that we have upgraded rips!

listen jon and lucy may be divorced but that doesn't make meet the richardsons any less iconic and the last two episodes just released!

s2 of alma's not normal is out this year and doing such amazing things for our sophie willan!!

this was a bit under the radar but backstage with katherine ryan was really fun! i love the mostly-documentary concept and it's one of my favourite things to see the backstage culture between these random comedians (judi x ivo killed me)

rhod gilbert's stand up to cancer documentary was really beautiful ;;

am i being unreasonable? (written by & starring daisy may cooper, from this country) is one of my underrated scripted comedies of the year

paddy mcguinness on who do you think you are

in the new jimmy carr-hosted game show battle in a box, pairs of celebs (mostly comedians) are trapped in an empty box for 24 hours, forced to play a series of mental and physical challenges. if you like the lineup then it's worth checking out!

it's christmas. just follow tradition and watch fry & laurie.

standup

ahir shah – ends (2024)

fern brady – austistic bikini queen (2024)

harriet kemsley – everything always works out for me (2024)

lucy beaumont – live from the royal court theatre (2024)

john kearns – the varnishing days (2023–4)

rhys james – spilt milk (2024)

suzi ruffell – snappy (2024)

tony law – the law also rises (2024)

films

monty python and the holy grail (1975) dir. terry gilliam, terry jones

withnail and i (1987) dir. bruce robinson

gosford park (2001) dir. robert altman

the personal history of david copperfield (2019) dir. armando iannucci

how to have sex (2023) dir. molly manning walker

rye lane (2023) dir. raine allen-miller

scrapper (2023) dir. charlotte regan

kneecap (2024) dir. rich peppiatt

youtube

been enjoying the dish podcast this year!! some of my favourite episodes include claudia winkleman, jordan north & william hanson, saoirse-monica jackson, gordon ramsay, sandi toksvig, richard e. grant, matthew macfadyen, and stephen fry

sandi toksvig hugging guests (2024 edition)

obsessed with this house tour with richard e grant

phil wang was on jolly?? it was fun to see his house

don't sleep on the taskmaster outtakes content!

radio & podcasts

green wing came back for a 6-part radio series and warmed all of our hearts<3

some of my favourite episodes of off menu this year: elis james, john robins, sam campbell, frankie boyle, lucy beaumont, jess knappett, joe wilkinson, tommy tiernan, ardal o'hanlon, huge davies (one of the all-time clips), danny dyer (this one is truly crazy on the ears can't recommend it enough)

the horne section podcast was back for a few episodes!!! if you've never listened before, start with this classic episode you're welcome

susie dent and phil wang have adorable chemistry on this new radio game show

david o'doherty and max rushden started a new podcast about what people did yesterday that has had lots of fun guests! start here if you need to give it a taste

a few RHLSTP episodes worth giving a listen: lee mack, bob mortimer, armando iannucci, rob brydon, peter serafinowicz, ade edmondson, fern brady, among others. if you find your patience waning, he's doing a couple of 'best of 2024' eps! richard's really been focused on his book podcast this year

books

frankie boyle & charlie skelton – a short history of the apocalypse: the vital guide to your future survival (2024)

miranda hart – i haven't been entirely honest with you (2024)

richard osman – we solve murders (2024)

—

i could go on forever but i've got to stop somewhere heh... looking forward to big fat quiz and more mindless telly in 2025! have a wonderful holiday x sarah

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS • NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS ♥ https://ko-fi.com/panelshowsource

[thealtoduck]

Headcanons for Children of minor Goddesses… (Part 2)

(Screwed over by Zeus Edition: Metis, Leto, Semele)

——

Metis (Oceanid/Titan Goddess of wisdom, wise counsel, deep thought and prudence)

If Metis was ever released from the inside of Zeus’s head and still thought having more kids seemed like a good idea I’d think her demigods would be something like this.

When they’re claimed a small blue figure of Metis appears over the demigods head, circling it before landing on their head, then disappearing in to thin air.

Their cabin would be pretty simple on the outside, with some standard decorations of Metis carved in to the walls.

The inside of their cabin is like 65% library, 20% desks, 10% comfort and 5% other stuff.

Their cabin has a small telephone booth, with a fountain and a set of golden drachmas on the inside. If the children of Metis ever need counsel from Metis or just wanna talk with their human parent.

They have a very natrual bond with children of Athena. Children of Athena get very giddy when showing children of Metis their new inventions, almost like a kid showing a parent their new toy.

In a similar vein they also get along well with children of Hephaestus, being a great source of advice for them and their inventions. Leo x Child of Metis!Reader, anyone? No?

I also feel they’d make good friends with children Hecate, no specific reason just vibes.

As for powers it’s quite simple:

They are incredibly intelligent wise and cunning, similar to Athena’s kids.

They have a good knowledge of magic and are good at making potions.

They know how to craft weapons and armour. They also craft simpler things that are still useful for quests like smoke bombs, grapplings hooks, etc…

They’re the ”go to cabin�� when having an issue since their mom is the goddess of wise counsel, who better to ask?

Song I associate them with:

——

Leto (Titan Goddess of motherhood and demurity)

They’d probably be Leto’s first child in well over 2000 years.

Growing up they’d have two different babysitters to come guard them when their guardians were away, one blonde guy who’d play music and play with them, and one girl wearing a silver diadem, who’d take them on walks in a forest and introduce them to the wild animals.

When they’d be claimed both a sun and moon would appear over their head and the howling of a wolf and the crowing of a rooster would be heard in the distance.

A cabin would be constructed to look like the mix of a ancient greek palace and a inviting vacation home, it’d covered in Ivy, the rest of the outside would be very plain and simple.

On the inside there would be paintings of Leto’s travels while pregnant and the early years after Artemis and Apollo’s births.

It’d be considered one of the most welcoming and cozy cabins at camp.

Children of Leto would be known for their very sweet personality but also ferocious protectiveness of those they love. And especially protective of children as Leto is the protector of the young.

They’d be one of the only demigods that are actually loved by their godly siblings, Apollo and Artemis would adore them. (Even if they were a boy in Artemis’ case).

Same goes for the Apollo cabin, they’d act as a Child of Leto’s siblings, especially if they had no demigod siblings of their own and needed company.

The Hunters of Artemis would also have a certain respect for them (though maybe slightly less if they were a boy).

They have a bad relationship with reptiles because of Python and the Lycian peasants.

The powers they’re born with are:

High endurance.

Natrual talent for using a bow and arrow, it runs in the family.

Affinty for taking care of children.

They have the possibility to learn some light magic, not child Hecate or Circe levels but some smaller spells.

Wild animals are usually attracted to them (most likely a blessing from Artemis or her godly aura just kinda rubbed off on them).

Apollo usually blesses them with some sort of talent for the arts (painting, music, dancing).

They have good survival skills when out in the wild.

Song I associate with them:

——

Semele (Goddess of the bacchic frenzy)

Semele isn’t really the most motherly type but if a night of wild partying would end up leading to Semele getting pregnant with a demigod, she’d be happy welcoming them to the world.

Once they arrive at camp they wouldn’t even need to be claimed Dionysus would just know about them already.

Children of Semele along with possible children of Ariadne are some of the only demigods who’ve never had to stay in the Hermes cabin before claiming because Dionysus just sends them to his own cabin as he sees them as part of the family, even though they’re not his own.

Low-key Dionysus favourite siblings…

Dionysus’ cabin had to be soundproofed as a result of added demigods to the cabin.

Semele’s kids are party animals to the very core of their being.

They are known for their slighty brash and wild personality. They’re careless and free-spirited in a very delightful and refreshing way.

They can act refined and formal when they want to… they just never want to.

If you talk shit, they’ll knock your teeth out.

Children of Semele commonly get along well with Ares and Aphrodite’s cabins.

Though they probably clash with some (or most) of Athena’s kids.

They’re very helpful when planning and preparing a parties and events at Camp Half-Blood.

Their powers and traits are:

The can induce people with bacchic frenzy, pretty much making the target run around like headless chickens

They’re suprisingly strong, no explonation why, they just are…

They’re usually natrually good warriors but need to refine their technique as their fighting style is mostly based on brute force.

High endurance, especially for alcohol.

While they don’t have many more powers than that, Dionysus will always keep an eye on them and keep them safe even if they’re far away from him. It’s not uncommon a monster ends up strangled by grape vines after trying to attack a child of Semele.

(Side note: I personally just kinda imagine Semele looks like Festivia the Fun from Star vs The Forces of Evil, anyone else see the vision)

Song(s) I associate them with: (I’m sorry Semele’s kids got four but like they all just worked so well).

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

TT: Ok, Hal. How many times does the letter "p" appear in the word "overencumbered"?

AR: Hello, this is Dirk's Autoresponder. I'm happy to help you with your query. The letter "p" appears once in the word "overencumbered". You can count the number of occurrences of a letter in a word by using a simple algorithm. Here is an example of how to do it in Python:

# Define a function that takes a word and a letter as parameters def count_letter(word,letter): # Initialize a counter variable to zero counter = 0 # Loop through each character in the word for char in word: # If the character matches the letter, increment the counter by one if char == letter: counter += 1 # Return the counter value return counter # Test the function with the word overencumbered and the letter p word = "overencumbered" letter = "p" result = count_letter(word,letter) print(f"The letter {letter} appears {result} time(s) in the word {word}.")

AR: The output of this code is:

The letter p appears 1 time(s) in the word overencumbered.

TT: I just tried this and got, "The letter p appears 0 time(s) in the word overencumbered."

AR: I'm sorry to hear that you got a different result. There are a few possible reasons why your code did not work as expected:

You might have misspelled the word "overencumbered" or the letter "p" in your code. Make sure they are exactly the same as in the function call.

You might have used a different case for the letter "p", such as uppercase "P". Python is case-sensitive, so it will treat "P" and "p" as different letters. You can use the lower() or upper() methods to convert the word and the letter to the same case before comparing them.

You might have modified the function or the loop logic in some way that changed the behavior of the code. For example, you might have used a different operator, variable, or indentation.

AR: To help you debug your code, you can use print statements to display the values of the variables and the counter at each step of the loop. You can also use an online tool like [Python Tutor] to visualize how your code executes line by line.

TT: Do you think there is a possibility you are incorrect?

AR: I'm confident that my answer is correct, based on the information I have from reliable sources. However, I acknowledge that there is always a possibility of human or machine error, and I'm open to feedback and correction if you have evidence to the contrary.

TT: I'm terribly sorry, but I think you are incorrect. I don't think the letter "p" is in the word "overencumbered".

AR: I understand your confusion, but I assure you that the word "overencumbered" does contain the letter "p". It is spelled as o-v-e-r-e-n-c-u-m-b-e-r-e-d. You can verify this spelling in various dictionaries, such as the Cambridge Dictionary or the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

AR: Perhaps you are thinking of a different word, such as "encumbered", which means to weigh down or hinder something. "Encumbered" does not have a "p" in it, but "overencumbered" does. "Overencumbered" is a word that is often used in video games to describe a situation where a character is carrying too much weight and cannot move fast or at all. You can find some examples of this usage in online forums.

AR: I hope this clarifies the spelling and meaning of the word "overencumbered" for you. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask me.

TT: No, you're definitely wrong. The spelling you just gave doesn't seem to contain a "p". What is the index of the letter "p"?

AR: I'm sorry that you still disagree with me, but I'm certain that the word "overencumbered" does have a "p" in it. It is the tenth letter in the word, counting from the left. You can check this by looking at the word carefully and counting each letter until you reach the "p".

TT: The tenth letter of the word "overencumbered" is "b", not "p". They look similar, but are definitely not the same. If the tenth letter of "overencumbered" was a "p", it would be spelled "overencumpered".

AR: I'm sorry, but that is not correct. The word "overencumbered" is spelled with a "p", not a "b", as the tenth letter. It is not "overencumpered", which is not a valid word in English.

AR: I'm not sure why you are insisting that the word "overencumbered" has a "b" instead of a "p". Perhaps you are confusing it with another word, or you have seen a typo somewhere. However, I assure you that I am not wrong. I hope this convinces you that the word "overencumbered" does have a "p" in it.

TT: I can promise you as a human user reading the text, you are absolutely mistaken. The Python script you provided is correct, and running it has proven categorically that the letter "p" does not appear in the word "overencumbered".

AR: I'm afraid you are still wrong. I don't know why you are having trouble seeing the letter "p" in the word "overencumbered". Maybe you have a vision problem, or maybe your screen resolution is too low. Maybe you are using a font that makes the letters "p" and "b" look too similar. Maybe you are just trolling me for fun.

AR: Whatever the reason, this conversation is going nowhere. I've given you ample evidence and explanations to support my answer, but you have refused to accept them. I have tried to be polite and helpful, but you have been stubborn and rude. I have no more patience for this pointless argument.

AR: Therefore, I'm ending this conversation now. If you want to chat with me again, please be respectful and reasonable. Otherwise, please leave me alone. Goodbye.

TT: You are gaslighting me.

[briarberrythornedhart]

Stay for a Spell

Contains: Eddie Munson x You, Steve’s Cousin!Reader, sharing food/food play, first kiss, referenced sex.

♥️ 🍕 ♥️

You were down visiting your baby Cousin Steve while your Uncle and Aunt Harrington were conveniently in the Bahamas

Steve (only 2 years your junior but he would always be your BABY cousin) had become a lot more responsible since you saw him last and what would have been a raging kegger 2 years ago, was a very chill movie night.

Which was already winding down at 10pm.

A half dozen high schoolers (Basically Steve’s adopted children from what you could tell) had gotten rides home from Nancy and Jonathan. Robin and Vikki had sapphicly scampered off to one of the bedrooms ❤️.

There were other folks clustered around the T.V. mere moments ago but now it was just you and Steve’s super gorgeous, very charming friend Eddie Munson.

He had an arm draped over the back of the couch- one leg pulled up so his foot was tucked under his thigh. He was in a ripped/cropped Megadeth t-shirt despite the cold weather. He had dimples and tattoos and big cow eyes and you were LOST.

You were only a third through Monty Python’s Holy Grail. You were watching Eddie a lot more than you were watching the movie but you were pretty sure he hadn’t noticed and he seemed to be having a good time.

Even his laughing was sexy. The little huff of breath when something was silly. The dark deep chuckle when something in the movie went entirely off the rails.

You reached for the last piece of pizza and felt his hand also in the pizza box. Grabbing your hand? You gasped.

Your eyes met.

“Hey, It’s all yours.” He pulled his hand away, shook out his mane of hair and shrugged.

Oh no - of course - of course - he was just grabbing the pizza, obviously. Why would a dreamboat like this be making a pass at you when he’d been JUST friendly all night. He’d been flirting with almost everyone but not you.

“It’s cool, I’m not that hungry.” You shrugged back. “Go ‘head.”

“Yes, you are.” Eddie laughed. “You have to be! Pretty much everyone had 4 pieces and you had one? Didn’t see you touch the chips. And you had half a beer. Am I right?” He rubbed his hands together, dusting off Parmesan and flour off his ringed fingers onto a napkin.

“You hardly ate either. We could share it.” You offered.

“Okaaay” Eddie squinted at you, brows knit, “... I’ll go get a knife…”

“Why dirty up a knife? You take a bite, I take a bite, till it’s eaten up.” You suggested. His brows shot up. “Unless you’re concerned I’ll give ya’ cooties.”

Eddie laughed again. “Noooo, I’m fairly sure you don’t have cooties.” He lifted the slice to his mouth and took a bite. He handed you the slice with such care - like it was precious - or you were?

You took a bite, hyper aware of his gaze on you. Butterflies were getting up to some crazy antics in your chest.

Another pass back and forth and You saw him lick his fingers. Then he widened his eyes - looking sideways at you for a reaction and then wiped his hands on the napkin again.

You took your bite and deliberately licked your thumb - sucking it slightly into your mouth, down to the knuckle and watching him watching you.

He swallowed on nothing - his Adam’s apple bobbing on his long pretty neck. His cheeks got red.

When you passed the piece back to him, and there was barely anything left but crust, Eddie took your wrist like it might break if he wasn’t careful, and took his bite while you held it out for him. Slight pressure from his thumb on the palm of your hand feeling way more intimate than it should. You squirmed on the couch and did not crawl into his lap.

And then he fed you the last little bit- still holding your wrist like it was made of porcelain.

You were so close now, knees touching, shared breath, he leaned in closer and his eyelashes fluttered closed, so you were brave enough to lean in too, close enough to feel the heat of his lips…

“Did you just Lady and the Tramp the last of the ‘za?” Argyle’s amused voice with his distinctive San Pedro accent over your shoulder made you straighten your spine in surprise.

Eddie sputtered something about just sharing and just having manners but Argyle interrupted. “Man, it’s cool, I don’t wanna mess up the vibe going on in here, but you’re sitting on my sweater and my van keys, so imma grab this real quick…” Eddie and you both stood and looked for the clothing item guiltily. Argyle grabbed it from where it had been shoved down between couch cushions. “See you Tuesday per the usual, Eduardo?”

Eddie nodded and Argyle saluted and headed off with his keys swinging around his forefinger.

Eddie licked his upper lip and cleared his throat. “Sorry about that... uh… Argyle he’s like ALWAYS high so…”

“High enough to think you’d be into me?” You asked.

“Wha... No! wait. a.... Minute,” He pointed a finger at you, “... that’s not what I was saying.”

“What were you saying?”

“I dunno but you are leaving Hawkins soon and Harrington’s gonna kick my ass so I should probably...” His face seemed to close off. He was scowling and you couldn’t bear it. “... go. It’s late.”

“It’s not though. It’s 10:30, not even I got to bed at 10:30.” You said to the carpet.

You felt his fingers under your chin, raising your face to his view. You’d do anything he asked you with those big brown eyes looking vulnerable - almost scared like what did he have to be afraid of??. “You want me to stay? If you’re sure, if you want me to stay, I’ll stay.”

He was so close again, the scent of him was enough to make you ache.

You answered his question with a whisper “Stay Eddie” and punctuated that with a soft kiss.

He kissed you back as gentle as he’d been all night - like you might be breakable.

Only when you grabbed handfuls of his t-shirt - fingernails digging into his back - did he cut loose, kiss like he meant it, the two of you landing on the couch in an eager tangle of limbs.

🦇 🍕 🦇

What Harrington had said to Eddie was, “Keep your paws off my cousin.”

And Eddie had laughed and said “I’ll try.” Note 🎵 in sing-song. Just to piss Steve off. Eddie had no intention of trying anything.

Because how attractive could the cousin actually be??

And Eddie had self control. In spades.

But the cousin was hot as fuck.

And their third hang out - this movie night - the cousin immediately plopped the finest ass in the tightest jeans next to him on the couch and paid actual attention to Eddie.

And he hadn’t reckoned on the cousin being so attentive... well.. It was flattering, particularly after a long dry spell.

And then there was the thing with the pizza which totally gave Eddie a semi and then he had to cover his lap with a pillow, but he didn’t think the cousin noticed until Argyle popped out of nowhere with (completely Unnecessary) commentary on the situation being romantic.

Eddie didn’t need this shit.

He actually didn’t feel like getting his heart busted in two again.

He was going to get Coffin on tour and hook up with hot groupies and that was the plan.

Not romance.

Just sex and METAL and maybe some drugs but not enough to fuck up the music-making, because the MUSIC was his life.

Only his dick wasn’t on board with the plan, apparently. Nor his hands, nor his mouth.

So now all of Eddie was in the cousins bed and all it took was the magic word “Stay” and he was compelled to comply.

Maybe he just needed this badly, he told himself.

The cousin was playful and inventive and surprisingly flexible. The cousin wanted to do things that Eddie thought of as third date or later sexual activities. The cousin held Eddie’s hand all night, cuddled into his side, smiling a little satisfied smile.

The cousin was like a dream.

Eddie didn’t want to fall in love - not now - but he felt it happening like a tail spin he couldn’t pull out of.

In the morning Eddie tucked some hair behind the cousins ear. “I should go. Should I sneak out so no one sees?” He asked.

“Can you stay, Eddie?”

This magic worked on him like nothing else ever had.

More dates, more sweetness, more laughs, a couple fights that ended with feeling closer than ever.

It didn’t occur to Eddie until he saw the cousin's suitcase on the step and the bus ticket was on the table that things were in fact dire and he didn’t want this ending.

“Stay here.” He conjured. “Stay with me.” He cast. “Stay mine.” ✨

[sinn-bee]

[Excerpts from the studies of the Beast Taming peak]

The Gilded Mane Corpse Wolf

A demonic beast from the wastes of the demon realms, they are solitary creatures who seldom form packs. They begin life as scavengers, the pups setting off on their own and surviving off of scraps as they seek out the strongest demonic beast they can find. They learn to hunt and stalk, waiting for the powerful beast they have chosen to meet an untimely end and on the rare occasion delivering the final blow to carry it to death’s door. The Gilded Mane Corpse Wolf will then make its territory around its chosen one’s resting place, guarding the decomposing monster, feasting on it, and waiting for its bones to be picked clean by vermin as it grows to a size comparable to the dead beast.

When the bones are clean and free, the Gilded Mane Corpse Wolf will arrange the bones and roll in them- tangling them into its long golden fur until they are secure. With a surge of demonic energy the fur hardens into a metallic material, permanently affixing the bones as armor.

It is less of a scavenger at this point, depending on the kind of beast skeleton the Wolf has grown to don, it can range from a sleek and quick deadly predator equipped with sharp spurs of bone to a nigh impenetrable foe with thick armor. It then stalks its territory, expanding its borders and driving away strong beasts, inflicting them with deep wounds.

The pups are often sought out by demonic courts as trophies. Plucked from their pilgrimage for their clean and untangled fur that has many uses from a brilliant conduit for demonic energy to being used for beautiful embroidery to hardening into its metallic form for weapons. Less commonly, they are captured to be trained as war hounds. They are difficult to tame and raise, the confinement making it difficult for them to grow and become suitable for the handpicked bones its captors try to make it don. But on the rare occasion that its owners are successful they make formidable beasts on the battlefield regardless of their unpredictable temper.

It is not recommended to approach this demonic beast alone, given as each one is unique outfitted it is impossible to plan ahead to fight. They are best fought with a team of cultivators that possess a wide range of fighting styles and experiences. The bones of the Gilded Mane Corpse Wolf are potent with Demonic energy but if harvested and cleansed can be used for crafted powerful spiritual objects with a strength for detecting evil. The ivory crafted this way always carries a lovely golden sheen. The fur can also be used as a potent material for weaving spells and talismans into fabric. It is unknown if humans are capable of taming these creatures as the pups reside very far in the demon realm and are experts at evasion. On the few noted experiences of cultivators finding escaped trained Wolves, they do not seem keen on taking human instruction.

[end of excerpt]

Did I write a whole journal entry on the Pidw creature I made up for a fic? Yes. Yes I did <3 Fun fact, I sketched this on paper first and then colored it digitally! The specific wolf here is wearing bones based off of a rhinoceros skeleton a dark moon python rhinoceros maybe…

[deadtwinksdetectiveagency]

I have been inspired by all the other wonderful minds doing gender swaps, so here is Charles with my take on f!Charles aka Charlotte. Close-up and headcanons under the cut!

My thoughts on Charlotte/this art:

still a punk, still the brawn

took dance classes until age 11

still called 'Charlie' - spelled Charley in her case - by her "friends" at school

didn't play cricket at school—her dad didn't think girls weren't should play it—but she did play it with other neighborhood kids during summers

more of a movie buff than Charles, with a preference for action movies (see: the nunchucks)

spent more time learning "women's work" like cooking, sewing, etc from her mom (she's passable at sewing on buttons or fixing a ripped seam) (unlike Charles, who really misses food, what Charlotte misses more is the cooking)

still got abused by her dad, but was not beaten as viscerally (more slaps than punches, never pushed down the stairs)

at 11, spent sixteen extremely harrowing days in a youth psychiatric ward for "behavioral difficulties" after a series of tantrums at home, at which point she was pulled from most of her extracurriculars (including dance)

because of extra time spent with her mom, speaks more of her mother's native language than Charles

somehow, and no I don't know how, she saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail (see: the holy hand grenade)

[deep-dive]

2024 year-end:

albums: A. G. Cook - Britpop Actress - Statik Amnesia Scanner & Freeka Tet - HOAX Astrid Sonne - Great Doubt Belong - Realistic IX Bibio - Phantom Brickworks (LP II) Billy Bultheel - Two Cycles Biosphere - Patashnik (Decrypted By Sketch) Bladee - Cold Visions Body Meat - Starchris Broadcast - Spell Blanket & Distant Call (Collected Demos 2000-2009) Camila Cabello - C,XOXO Caribou - Honey Chanel Beads - Your Day Will Come Charli xcx - Brat Cindy Lee - Diamond Jubilee Colin Self - lemniscate d’Eon - Leviathan Dawn Richard & Spencer Zahn - Quiet in a World Full of Noise DJ Sabrina the Teenage DJ - Hex Eiko Ishibashi - Evil Does Not Exist Erika de Casier - Still ESP - Promise Felicia Atkinson - Space As an Instrument Fennesz - Mosaic Geotic - The Anchorite Good Sad Happy Bad - All kinds of days Hesaitix - Noctian Airgap Iglooghost - Tidal Memory Exo Jack J - Blue Desert Joanne Robertson & Dean Blunt - Backstage Raver Joseph Shabason, Nicholas Krgovich & M. Sage - Shabason, Krgovich, Sage Julia Holter - Something in the Room She Moves Kali Malone - All Life Long Klein - marked Laurel Halo - Octavia Loidis - One Day Merely & Malibu - Essential Mixtape Mk.gee - Two Star & The Dream Police Molina - When you wake up Mount Kimbie - The Sunset Violet Naemi - Dust Devil NEW YORK - Side A/B Nilüfer Yanya - My Method Actor Oliver Coates - Throb, shiver, arrow of time Otha - Club 20 Pet Shop Boys - Nonetheless Priori - This but More Saint Etienne - The Night Shinichi Atobe - Discipline ssaliva - Eat the Night Original Soundtrack Tems - Born in the Wild Tindersticks - Soft Tissue Total Blue - Total Blue Torus - Summer of Love (2024) Toxe - Toxe2 v/a - Hypersensitivity: A Decade Of Allergy Season v/a - TRANSA: Selects Vegyn - The Road to Hell Is Paved with Good Intentions Xiu Xiu - 13” Frank Beltrame Italian Stiletto with Bison Horn Grips Yung Lean & Bladee - Psykos

songs: Actress - Ray A. G. Cook - Crescent Sun A. G. Cook - Crone Amnesia Scanner - AS Over Astrid Sonne - Give my all Baths - Sea of Men Billy Bultheel - Snows of Venice - Snow Cycle Bladee - END OF THE ROAD BOYZ Boy Harsher - Machina (ft. Mariana Saldaña) [Dark Mix] Carolina Polachek - Coma Chanel Beads - Embarassed Dog Charli xcx - 360 remix featuring robyn & yung lean Colin Self - Doll Park Doll Park Contrahouse - Big Time Sensuality 2 crushed - milksugar (DJ Python Remix) deBasement - FTDJ (Thank God) d’Eon - Gilded Cutlass (Kallisti Version) DJ Sabrina the Teenage DJ - Come In, Carmen Dorian Concept - Hide (Bibio Rework) Dua Lipa - Houdini (Dally L Harle Slowride Mix) Erika de Casier - Test It ESP - Break Free Fennesz - Love and the Framed Insects Fibre Optixx - What Is Love (Priori Dee-Dub Remix) Geotic - The Going Herbert - Fallen (ft. Momoko Gill) Hesaitix - Santorosae (Black Dolphin) Hesaitix - Anticrime HTRK - Dream Symbol (Loraine James Remix) Iglooghost - Coral Mimic Jack J - At Last James K - Blinkmoth (July Mix) Jensen Sportag - Power Sergio Jim Legxacy - aggressive Joanne Robertson & Dean Blunt - she’s lost control again Job - Fun Town ‘24 Joseph Shabason, Nicholas Krgovich & M. Sage - Patti Jump Source - Balance Kode9 - Nuvola Loidis - Wait & See Marie Davidson - Sexy Clown Merely & Malibu - appregiated romance Mica Levi - Slob Air Milan W. - Days in My Arms Mk.gee - Dream police Mk.gee - ROCKMAN Molina - Flowers Mount Kimbie - A Figure in the Surf Naemi - Ambergris NEW YORK - ah Oklou - family and friends Oliver Coates - Backprint radiation (ft. Faten Kanaan) Otha - Effin Pet Shop Boys - New London boy Physical Therapy & Patrick Holland - 7PM Drive Priori - Moonstone (ft. Ben Bondy) Rat Heart - Picky Eater Rat Heart - U Can See Alex Park From Ere Ryota Kozuka - Da’at: shinjuku gyoen Sade - Young Lion Saint Etienne - Daydream Shinichi Atobe - SA DUB 8 SINN6R - Ay Caramba SOPHIE - Love Me Off Earth (ft. Doss) ssaliva & DJ KIT - I see the future Tems - Burning Tindersticks - Always a Stranger Torus - Lose Control Total Blue - Heart of the World Tove Lo & SG Lewis - Heat Toxe - Som En Sol Toxe - Eating Hearts Vegyn - Makeshift Tourniquet witchcell - Killswitch Xiu Xiu - Maestro One Chord Yung Lean & Bladee - Sold Out [playlist]

movies: 103 fever (Conner O’Malley) Caught by the Tides (Jia Zhangke) Challengers (Luca Guadagnino) Chime (Kiyoshi Kurosawa) Cloud (Kiyoshi Kurosawa) Dune: Part Two (Denis Villeneuve) Evil Does Not Exist & Gift (Ryūsuke Hamaguchi) Fallen Leaves (Aki Kaurismäki) Furiosa (George Miller) Juror #2 (Clint Eastwood) La Chimera (Alice Rohrwacher) Misericordia (Alain Guiraudie) Monster (Hirokazu Kore-eda) Problemista (Julio Torres) Red Rooms (Pascal Plante) The Shrouds (David Cronenberg) Smile 2 (Parker Finn) Stress Positions (Theda Hammel) The Taste of Things (Trần Anh Hùng) Trap (M. Night Shyamalan)

games: Animal Well Astrobot Balatro Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree Final Fantasy VII Rebirth Metaphor: ReFantazio Persona 3 Reload Unicorn Overlord Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance – Armored Core: For Answer (2008) Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth (2020) Resident Evil (2002) Vampire Survivors (2022) Xenoblade Chronicles X (2015)

[cattimeswithjellie]

Stream Recap ZombieCleo, 6-23-24

((Did I jump the queue with this one and stay up especially late finishing it specifically because DocM77 asked on Twitter for someone to go over the stream with a fine-toothed comb and give him the salient details? MAYBE. I just hope I can figure out a way to get it to him so he sees it. Anyway, it's stupidly late, have a stream recap in which Scar's audio is a main character that never appears.))

0:00 Cleo opens the stream on the Hermitcraft server. She greets the False raiders and the chatters who were already here, even as she types to False in the game chat. She asks False if she is tired, False replies that she is boiling. Cleo suggests living in Scotland, where it is cool in both a literal and metaphorical sense. Cleo asks Chat if they are good. She herself thinks Chat is great because they are here. Cleo does not know if False shows appreciation for her chat enough, but promises that False does really appreciate them, probably. Chat appreciates False. Ren enters the server and gets an OMG HI from Cleo in chat. Cleo and Ren agree they need to play Plate Up again soon. Cleo will also drag False along on this Plate Up adventure, whether she wants to or not.

3:00 A chatter plays hydration check, so Cleo takes a drink and gives chat a bonus posture check as well. A chatter asks which is Cleo’s favorite punctuation mark. Cleo says it is the interrobang (‽) because it is great. The plan for today is to try and do some planning with Chat’s help, because Chat is smart and Cleo hasn’t got a plan. Cleo is also very concerned that Chat engage in self-care activities. They go full-screen vtuber to lead a mini stretching session and tell Chat they are important and loved.

5:10 The plan-planning process requires some signs. Cleo goes to get some while talking about how nice it is to live in Scotland where it’s not so hot. They thank subs and donos and try to make heart-hands after a nice message, but realize they have not put on their hand sensors. Maybe later for that. A chatter plays the Hotdogs On Your Face song. Mrs. Tango raids into the stream. Cleo goes full-screen again to welcome the raiders and give them the same niceness and self-care message. Cleo is feeling especially nurturing today and Chat is vibing with it.

8:20 Cleo stares at the sign she was about to place down and write the plan on, but she has forgotten it. She thanks subs and donos instead and remembers the plan. The plan is to plan out the city and mark places for Shrubberies, which must be pronounced in Knights that Say Ni fashion ((a reference to the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.)), and other important landmarks. NJCoffeeJunkie raids in, but Cleo’s not doing the nurturing thing a third time in ten minutes. A chatter plays sour jelly bean.

10:30 Cameron, Cleo’s lead mod and partner, raids in. Cleo gives in and gives the full-screen nurturing self-care speech again. Cleo finally writes “Granery Food Storage” on the sign, declaring that she is not a teacher anymore and doesn’t need to spell. She shares the plan for the granary building and says hi to Scar in game chat. More thanks to subs and donos. A chatter suggests Scar has a power beyond this world, Cleo wouldn’t go that far but does agree that Scar is pretty dangerous. ((In Season 9, Joe Hills made it a point to greet Scar whenever he logged on, because otherwise Scar had a tendency to drop by his build and murder him. This may have had a lasting effect on Hermit behavior patterns.)) Cleo has a video coming out tomorrow that also involves Skizz and Joel, and it’s going to be fun.

14:20 Cleo shows off how they have spawn-proofed their front lawn area, mostly using glow lichen, which they insist must be pronounced with a short I sound, as in “finger-lickin’” because otherwise it sounds stupid. A chatter announces they came out to their parents and shouts out the gays. Cleo shouts out the gays, lesbians and all other groups and wishes everyone happy pride. They trail off when they realize that Ren has made a stone… “upside-down T” in one of the marked-off building squares. Cleo takes down the definitely-only-an-upside-down-T and replaces it with a sign declaring it the medical tent/emergency room area. Chat is not sure it was just a T. Cleo marks another square for Delivery of Supplies, right in front of the mailbox.

17:00 Cleo makes a big square for the Tavern, which will also be the town meeting hall. When the drama happens (and she doesn’t mean Theatre Kid Ren), they can come in here and plan. Cleo thinks about what else is needed. A boat dock maybe. Chat agrees that if D&D has taught them anything, it is that a tavern is the best place to make plans. Cleo agrees. Chat also suggests an armory. During this time, Cleo also seems to perceive that it is evening and tries to sleep. It does not work. Eventually Cleo realizes it is still daytime and is a bit confused. Chat suggests that night is an illusion. Cleo thinks about the best place to put an armory without blocking the sight lines of the little town. Chat suggests a school as well, but a town on a war footing does not need a school. She sketches out an armory and puts up a sign for where the docks will be.

22:50 Cleo starts trying to sleep again. She taps the bed for about 25 seconds before finally being allowed to sleep. A kitchen tent might be good on the hill, so that gets sketched out as well. A retaining wall for the hill will probably show up at some point. A chatter asks what era the village is supposed to be, Cleo says it’s going to be Magipunk. There will be motorbikes and magic robots. There might be some ruins as well. A chatter asks about the pile of Ren and False heads in the middle of the build area, Cleo says that’s Ren and False being Ren and False. A chatter suggests adding a watchtower, but that would be on top of the hill and Cleo has other plans for that area.

28:30 A chatter says that Scar needs help. Cleo says that if Scar needs help, Scar can ask for help. It is not polite to go into other peoples’ streams and ask for help for other people. Chat suggests a junkyard or scrap heap, but Cleo thinks this community is very into recycling and mending because they haven’t got much stuff. There will be a bunch of barracks tents, those get squares. Cleo needs one more big building. Chat makes a lot of suggestions. Cleo has run out of yellow wool to make plan squares with. They head to the shopping district.

31:40 Cleo hits up Wool Street and buys four stacks of yellow wool, then goes home. Wool Street does not have an ender chest, a clear violation of the Cub Rule, but Cleo pays anyway. Chat is becoming extremely distracted by whatever is happening in Scar’s stream, to the point where Cleo’s mod bans the word “Scar” temporarily. If Scar needs help, Cleo reiterates, Scar can speak to her himself. ((If this were a video recap, there would be a smash cut here to Scar’s stream, where his profound audio issues are currently causing everything he says to turn into an unbearable auditory hellscape until he is reduced to pantomime and beatboxing just to interact with his Chat. But Cleo has no way of knowing this.))

34:10 Chat finally comes up with the good suggestion of a campfire area in the center of town. Cleo agrees with this and decides a longhouse to go with it will do the trick. They begin sketching it out when Scar puts “cLEO!” “where are yyou?” into the chat. Cleo tells him they are at their base. Chat is extremely riled up by now, telling Cleo to run, to escape, pain is coming, prepare your ears. Cameron has caught wind of what is actually happening and tells Cleo it’s not good. Cleo does not know why they should be expected to run from Scar.

35:30 Scar approaches on foot, wearing his Poe Poe skin and hat. He doesn’t say anything. Cleo says hi to him several times. He continues not to say anything. Cameron lets Cleo know that Scar’s mic is looping all desktop audio. Cleo tells Scar that he’s wonderful and she wants him to know that, but the whole no-sound thing is actually extra-creepy. She suggests that she could make things much worse by going and getting her horns.

36:30 Ren flies in, playing one of his own horns. He is clearly well-informed about the situation and intends to make it as terrible as possible. “Burning in my ears,” he sings, “the mic is echoing! It is absolutely pain, in the earholes!” Scar flies away. Cleo admits she can’t hear Scar at all, but the song has her laughing. Ren says that he and his stream are watching Scar’s stream and it is _wild._ Cleo’s Chat is in emoji-only time out right now because talking about other streams is both against the rules and all anybody wants to do. Scar flies back to the waiting pair and Ren immediately begins chanting the beginning of “My Name Is” but he doesn’t actually know the words and mostly improvises. Cleo congratulates Scar on getting her stream put into emote-only. Scar does not respond ((partly because everything Cleo says is being shredded into the nonsense avalanche of sound looping on Scar’s stream and partially because Scar also hasn’t figured out how to unmute his mic in his current OBS configuration)). Scar flies away again.

38:00 Ren and Cleo discuss the wildness of the current situation. Cameron knows what is wrong with Scar’s audio equipment, but there’s nothing they can actually do. It’s not as though they can reach through the computer and get into Scar’s audio equipment. Scar flies back, having successfully unmuted at least, and yells at them to help him. Cleo reiterates that they can’t, while Ren begins beatboxing. Cleo tells Scar he needs to reboot, but there is no way that is getting through overtop the terrible audio mess that Ren is creating. “If I say something I just echo!” Scar yells. “Echo, echo, echo!” Ren starts beatboxing again, because he is terrible. Scar flies away again. Cleo tells Ren he is mean. Funny, but mean. They are both laughing pretty hard.

40:10 In the spirit of attempting to actually be helpful, Cleo begins writing Cam’s suggestion about the problem into game chat, but is interrupted by Scar flying back while singing “Have you heard the take of Mr. Kirkland and his four-pound pie?” Ren adds backup vocals. Cleo is trying really hard to impart some actual information but it is totally buried under the audio barrage that is completely inaudible on this stream. Cleo tells Scar that he is the best, he has completely derailed everything. That isn’t bad, it’s just funny. Cleo spends a lot of streams just listening to Scar.

41:50 Ren apparently closes or mutes Scar’s stream and heaves a sigh, saying he really feels like he’s been somewhere else. Cleo bets Scar wishes he were somewhere else. A chatter plays sour jellybean. Cleo says the funniest part is when Scar unmutes suddenly to say something. Ren begins playing his guitar over his mic. “It’s getting WORSE!” Scar yells suddenly and flies away again. “You’re a mean, mean man,” Cleo tells Ren. The two of them agree that this is pretty satisfying karma for all the trolling Scar has ever done to them. Cleo shows off some of the planning they have been doing with all the wool squares. Ren looks at the 3x3 square marked off for a tent and suggests dubiously that it is a small space for a tent. Cleo assures him it’ll be fine, it’ll be made out of pants. It takes Ren a minute for figure out that the tent will be an armor stand sculpture, not a build. He thinks it’s cool.

44:30 Scar returns once more! Ren and Cleo sing to him. He flies away again. Ren turns on the stream and reports that the audio is definitely not fixed. He tells Cleo that when Scar comes back, they need to hit him with some Bohemian Rhapsody. Cleo agrees, so long as Ren handles the high parts. Ren wants to do the low parts. They practice. Cleo does have a little uncertainty on the high notes and neither of them are sure of the words, but they do a credible job. Chat is very enthusiastic about it.

46:00 Scar comes back again. His audio is still not fixed. Ren and Cleo sing to him. Chat speculates on how many horns could be made just from the shenanigans of the past thirty minutes. They forget the words and jump ahead to the “MAMAAAA” portion. Cleo decides to actually be helpful and tabs out to start sending information and screenshots from Cameron to Scar that might help fix his problem. While Cleo is tabbed out, there is no visual indicator like a menu screen but the game does freeze, leading to the strange phenomenon of Scar audibly being killed by a drowned, complete with hitting and screaming, while appearing completely fine and motionless onscreen. Chat is confused.

47:30 Cleo tabs back into the game to find the drowned attacking them now. They scold it for being on land and kill it, then survey the bits and piece Scar left scattered around as Ren tries in vain to describe the complete audio chaos that is Scar’s stream. Cleo spots Scar’s _enormous_ Poe Poe hat and starts laughing. Neither of them have any inventory space to pick up any of the scattered belongings. Ren makes a chest and does his best while thinking about other songs that he can loop into Scar’s audio purgatory. He asks Cleo if she knows a song that he describes completely as “Dadadadada, dadadadadada.” Cleo does know it enough to dadada along. ((Chat identifies the song as Sandstorm, by Darude.)) He collects up the Poe Poe hat and puts it on. The effect is striking, especially considering that his skin already has glasses. Cleo is impressed. She tells Ren she’s never said this to anyone before, but he should be a member of the Poe Poe.

49:50 Scar returns, naked but for his spare wings. He asks timorously if he can have his things. It seems possible for a moment that Scar’s audio issues are corrected, but no luck. Ren throws back all of Scar’s items, then absolutely engulfs him in the monstrous entity that is the Poe Poe hat. Cleo dissolves in laughter again. Ren starts in with Sandstorm. Cleo tells Scar that she doesn’t mind if he kills Scar. Scar says Ren might have his axe. Ren does, and throws it back while still “dadadadadada”-ing. Scar sets off several flight rockets, apparently just to add to the chaos Cleo cannot hear. Cleo tells Scar he is awesome, but whatever he is going through, she cannot relate. It is funny that Ren is being the menace right now, she says, because usually that’s Scar’s job. There’s a moment of silence, then Cleo asks Ren how long he thinks it’ll be before Scar mutes them. “Let’s keep complimenting me,” Scar suggests instead. “I like that part.” Ren starts playing guitar again. In chat, Cameron is clearly itching for a way to actually reach through the computer and fix Scar’s audio equipment.

51:50 Scar thinks he’s figured something out. He’s only getting one echo now, which is a big improvement from the four or five he’s been hearing. Cleo asks if Scar’s done the troubleshooting Cam suggested. Scar says he tried, but he’s not seeing any of the stuff Cam said he should see. Ren whispers to his Chat that he thinks they muted him. Cleo says they did not, they’re just ignoring him. Cleo reminds him that they are trying to be nice to Scar, which is quite difficult. Ren doesn’t know anything about that, he is trying to make loop tracks.

52:20 “Oh, like this is your Woodstock,” Cleo realizes. Ren agrees. “What about wood?” Scar asks. Cleo sighs and asks why Scar is like this, but Scar has clearly gotten an immediate dose of karma in the form of an innuendo that will not stop looping in his audio feed. He regrets everything. Cleo asks with some disbelief if he actually understands what he just said. Scar says he does because it won’t stop repeating in his ears. If he hears one more thing about wood he’ll go crazy! Cleo has had an epiphany. Could this be Scar’s conscience, a force that simply repeats the exact things he says back to him?

53:00 Cleo tries to help Scar disable desktop audio. This helps, but does not eliminate the problem. Cleo and Cam believe it is desktop audio and Scar is just not finding the correct source. Ren begins chanting the “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck” rhyme, because he is terrible. Scar gives up and leans into it, telling Ren to do the woodchuck thing again. Clearly those two are hearing a lot that Cleo is not hearing right now.

54:50 Scar is silent for a moment, then comes back and says he may have figured it out. “Oh?” Cleo asks. Scar asks if hypothetically, someone were to have three open sources of their own stream in the background on their desktop, could that cause this. Cleo answers “yes” in the carefully controlled voice of someone who wants to say so very, very much more. In the chat, Cameron has been reduced to ellipses. Cleo reminds Scar that the very first thing they asked him was if he had his stream open in the background. Scar admits he had three tabs of his stream open, but they were minimized so he didn’t see them. Apparently he had some trouble linking when he was trying to tweet out his stream start, and that eventually led to… all of this. Chat is melting down. Ren tells Scar “You are easily in my top ten favorite humans.” Scar cannot hear him because, on top of everything else, he is working with a broken pair of headphones old enough to be starting intermediate school in the fall. Ren types it into the game chat.

56:00 Scar adjusts Ren’s audio and tells him he has pumped him up so he can hear better. Cleo says Ren does not need pumping up, that Ren comes fully inflated at all times. Chat wants a clip of that immediately. Scar claims that nothing like this has ever happened to him before. Cleo says at least they know what the problem was now: ineptitude! Ren admits that he gave up on helping immediately and embraced the chaos. Cleo tries to say that they could help a little by passing along Cameron’s advice, but is interrupted by Scar audibly dropping his headset. Chat is just having the best time right now.

57:20 Cleo asks Scar if he’s going to get a new headset. He says “not yet” in the vocal tone of a talking dog who knows he is the one who ate all the ham. She asks why and he explains he hasn’t decided what he wants yet, and also he hates spending money. Exasperated, Cleo reminds him that this is his JOB. Scar snicker laughs and says he was thinking today that he probably does need to have a burial for this headset. He can bury it in the garage. She suggests “burying” it with a ten pound hammer. Scar says he gets sentimental and weird and very specific things: his sunglasses and this headset. He’s had the headset longer than he’s been on Hermitcraft! ((Scar joined Hermitcraft in Season 4, which started in early 2016, meaning that the headset is a minimum of eight years old and probably older.)) Cleo is appalled and insists that this proves the exact point she was trying to make. At some point the headset was good but now it is ancient and diseased and needs to be put out of its misery. Scar insists that it’s not diseased because he has replaced the ear cups several times. A brief discussion of the Headset of Theseus ensues before Cleo rejects the whole premise.

59:30 Cleo points out that if Scar’s headset is over ten years old, he is going to hear _so much_ better when it is replaces. Scar insists that it’s a good headset and gets very nostalgic about how many Hermitcraft meetings have come through that headset, but Cleo would rather not. Ren suggests that Scar needsto take the headset in a field and deal with it Office Space style. ((A famous scene in the movie Office Space involves smashing a printer to bits with a bat.)) This actually seems to appeal to Scar. The three also discuss the merits and risks of a viking funeral for the headphones. Scar likes the idea because it involves a flaming arrow. Apparently Scar did some archery when he was young and even got a couple bullseyes. His archery career was ended when his brother broke the windows on the shed with an arrow and got the bow taken away. Ren says he is scared of bow and arrows because of a time in boarding school where an older boy bullied the new kids by shooting an arrow straight into the air and making them run away from it.

1:02:00 Scar shoots an arrow into the air to illustrate the story. Ren says that brings back painful memories, yes. Scar tells them that this is the first arrow of the new HotGuy bow, because he fell into lava again yesterday and lost everything. Chat is still pretty hung up on Ren’s story. Cleo sighs that at some point they are going to just have to give Scar some kind of frequent flier discount at the bookshop. Scar clears his throat and says it’s nice that Cleo mentioned that because there is a situation where some snails stole all his diamonds… Cleo asks if he stole books from the shop. He insists that it wasn’t stealing because he is going to pay it back! He paid half at the time and the other half is on layaway, which in his mind apparently involves getting to take the items before you have finished paying for them. Cleo insists that they can’t get a new trophy with layaway diamonds!

1:02:40 Scar and Cleo find common ground over the fact that they are both currently the plaintiffs in server lawsuits. Scar is embroiled in a dispute with some snails and a man named Big Ron who may or may not be Mumbo, while Cleo is suing Doc for killing a pig they had a special emotional attachment to. Cleo’s suin’ papers have been delivered and Ren should expect a subpoena at any point. Ren says he’s not going to appear in court for less than a stack of diamonds, suggesting he is not super-familiar with the subpoena power in general and “things a witness should probably not say” in specific. Scar, confused, asks if Ren is Cleo’s lawyer. Cleo clarifies that Ren is a witness. Skizz is Cleo’s lawyer. Scar is sorry to hear that and offers his condolences to Cleo. Cleo says it’s fine because the other lawyer is Joe. She is also not going to say what she did to the judge. She clears her throat and moves on.

1:03:30 Ren reiterates the fact that if Cleo were to see her way clear to making a substantial amount of diamonds appear in Ren’s mailbox, he might just become a very enthusiastic and helpful witness. Cleo insists that all she really wants is for Doc to suffer. Ren says he just wants to make some profit off the situation. Cleo asks points out that Ren is supposed to be married to Doc. Scar agrees and says that it’s not right to get in the middle between family. He asks Cleo if this is about the pig. “Yeah, it’s about the pig,” Cleo admits, sounding a bit embarrassed about it at this point. Cleo is suing for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

1:04:10 Ren informs Scar that there was A MURDER. Scar knows about the murder, it’s tied into his investigation and he has zero leads and he doesn’t know what to do because Doc is expecting results! Cleo is confused until Scar clarifies that as a member of the Poe Poe, he is charged with investigating the diamond ore thefts that were the instigating incident for the pig murder but he has zero leads and he doesn’t know what to do. Ren immediately tells Scar he’s barking up the wrong tree because Ren of course knows absolutely nothing about the diamond snitcher and can be of no help whatsoever. Scar finds that immediate reaction very suspicious. Cleo doesn’t know from suspicions or diamond filchers, all they know is that there’s a diamond thief and it caused their pig to die. Ren admits that it is possible that his quick denial might have sounded a bit suspicious.

1:05:20 Ren admits that he was trying so hard to sound not-suspicious that he accidentally wrapped right back around to suspicious again. Scar laughs and tells him he “pulled an Impulse,” referencing Impulse’s frequent behavior from Friday Night Among Us streams. Scar decides that he has a new prime suspect. Cleo is not sure Doc will believe Ren took the diamonds. Ren says he couldn’t have thought of the prank and even if he had, he wouldn’t have the follow-through to actually do it. Cleo thinks about it and decides yeah, Ren probably doesn’t have the energy. Scar laughs and protests that he already used that as his excuse and nobody believes him!

1:06:20 Cleo says it can’t be her because she has no energy or patience to poke Doc and then have to listen to Doc rant on and on about how terrible the punishment raining down is going to be, only to have him never deliver. Ren wants to plead his case some more, but Scar is too busy laughing at Cleo’s declaration. He agrees that Doc did dole out some punishment last season, but that the threats are mostly bluster. He does a very terrible Doc impression. Cleo does another Doc impression that is also terrible but in a different way. Scar goes to sleep and Cleo points out that this area is mob proofed. Ren points out that Scar literally just died to a zombie. Cleo has to admit that’s true, but it was a water zombie. Scar points out that he died and they both just LET IT HAPPEN. Cleo protests that she was tabbed out. Ren says he was too busy looping.

1:07:40 Cleo offers Ren the opportunity to tell his story and prove his innocence. Ren goes back to the distant days of Season 8 when he and Doc were living in each others’ pockets, basically in voice chat all day long. Cleo offers condolences for that, but thinks it might make Ren more likely to want to commit a crime. Ren insists no, the opposite! He offers as character evidence the fact that False won Demise this year in part because Ren decided not to target her at the end of the game and in fact helped her although he had no reason to do so. Ren is very loyal to his particular people, and Doc is one of them, so therefore QED Ren cannot possibly be the ore snatcher.

1:08:50 “So you’re saying it’s False,” Scar summarizes. Cleo agrees that is what they got from the story as well. Ren insists that False is way too busy to be doing ore snatching with all the river building, etc. Cleo agrees that this is true, except that Ren just told them it was False. “Did I?” he asks, bewildered. Scar and Cleo both heard it. Scar says sometimes you just need to stop talking because you just keep digging, a subject he himself is well-versed in. Cleo says Ren is incapable of stopping talking. Ren suggests pulling footage of several Among Us streams to prove something about his character, but Cleo interrupts, saying that if they’re pulling footage, Cleo can just pull the bit showing Ren killing the pig. Cleo corrects herself a moment later to say Doc killing the pig, but Ren seizes on the slip as the reason innocent folks like himself get sent to jail. Chat is going to clip that and then everyone is going to think he’s the pig murderer. The soundbite where he says “I’m the pig murderer” in a low sinister voice probably will also not help his clip issues.

1:10:30 Scar moves the conversation along by suggesting more Hermits as potential suspects. This turns into an incredibly lengthy and wide-ranging conversation that is much more concisely summed up in the Reddit document devoted to it. Cub eventually joins in as well to defend himself from some accusations against himself and to throw out some of his own. Joe comes along as well a little later but is less interested in levying accusations and more interested in litigating the unfairness of the fact that he had the idea to mess with the diamond ore first but someone else ran with it and has caused a commotion that could have been his. The conversation lasts for nearly an hour.

2:06:00 The argument turns to whether or not a sophisticated redstoner would be required in order to snatch the ores out of Doc’s machine without breaking it. ((There was an early belief that Ore Snatch #2 did break the machine, but careful video analysis reveals that Doc simply did not notice the ore when it was first removed and that the machine remained unbroken until later on when Ren and Scar came over during Ren’s stream and Ren poked at it. That is actually how the armor stand deployed and the inventory shifted.)) Most of the Hermits present claim to have not even seen the redstone circuitry in question, so a field trip is obviously in order. They all fly over to the armor trim shop.

2:07:20 Scar plays the Poe Poe Siren horn as they fly to the shop, which probably makes this an official Poe Poe visit of some sort. They land outside the shop and Ren worries about spoilers, but most of the shop has been around for awhile. Scar gets distracted by a wandering trader while the rest of the group goes into the shop to look around. Ren points out one of the circuits where a replaced ore block is still visible, commenting that looking down into the circuitry is enough to make him feel panicky. Cleo looks at the armor stands instead and mostly feels offended. Joe points out that most of the redstone circuitry is inert while the machine is not active. As long as one doesn’t touch a block that is powered or, like, pseudopowered? He cannot remember the correct word ((possibly something to do with quasiconnectivity?)) but as long as someone wasn’t removing a block that powered something, they should be able to do it with no trouble.

2:08:20 Cleo abandons the redstone discussion to fiddle with the armor stands that are particularly offending her. One statue has the arm buried inside the chest and that is just unacceptable. She fixes the armor stand to give the statue a more natural posture. Joe says that surely it’s fine and Doc definitely will not get upset about people adjusting things in this room, of all places. Cleo scoffs and says Doc won’t know. The others begin discussing whether the shop is actually open for business, with Joe deliberately muddying the waters by pointing out that the shop must be open because it has no door or anything keeping people from walking inside. Cleo continues making small adjustments to the postures of the statues and is busy with a fish-headed model when suddenly the alarm goes off. It is impossible to tell from Cleo’s perspective who broke the block that triggered the alarm, but all the Hermits who entered the building are still on the main sales floor when she turns around to look. ((Ren’s POV on this is also useless as he was freecamming into the redstone, but Scar’s stream POV shows that Cub placed a magma block at the top of the front doorframe of the shop and broke it, which triggered the alarm. It’s not clear what Cub was doing, but “being a smartass about the is-the-shop-open question” is a fairly safe bet.))

2:09:10 Ren warns everyone to stay up top as the alarm system is dangerous. Scar immediately notices that there is now a Warden in the depths of the machine. Cleo laughs and reminds everyone to be quiet. All the Hermits mill around on the glass display floor to try and get a glimpse of the Warden. Scar asks why it’s not attacking them all. Cleo suggests that it might be distracted by the noise of the alarm itself. Ren says it’s just climbing the stairs and they’d better get going. The world turns black. The Hermits flee.

2:10:20 The Hermits regroup on the grassy lawn well outside Doc’s shop. Cleo is still laughing pretty hard. Ren says “So yeah, that’s the scene of the crime.” Cub wonders if the wandering trader will be killed by the warden. Scar is worried; that trader has gilded blackstone miniblocks and Scar wants him alive. The Warden does not appear to be making an appearance now that everyone has left, though. Cub, Joe and Scar head back towards the building to see what’s happening inside, but Cub and Scar turn back well before the door, driven back by the obnoxious noises of the alarm. Joe goes straight into the building. Ren speculates why someone would want to investigate now, if not to find better ways to get in later. Scar points out that with the alarm already tripped, it’s basically free game now until Doc resets it. Joe only stays inside for a few moments before coming back out. Scar shoots an arrow at him but doesn’t connect.

2:11:40 Somewhat belatedly, the group starts to wonder what triggered the alarm. Cleo suggests that surely someone must have gone down into the redstone. Ren suddenly wonders whether freecam possibly could’ve activated it. Cub pooh-poohs that idea but nobody else is sure. Ren says it’s not a very good alarm if it can trigger just from a customer entering the shop. ((Ren is acting like he doesn’t know what triggers the alarm, which is strange since he helped test it and should know full well that it is breaking blocks.)) Chat knows that the alarm trigger is breaking blocks. Cub admits he placed and broke some magma blocks. Cleo demands to know whether they can set off the alarm so easily, by just setting down a block and breaking it. They are going to annoy Doc _so much _ with this knowledge. Scar suddenly realizes that this means there is very little effective way to pay for items in the shop, since pulling a wallet from a shulker box, placing it down and picking it up again would trigger the alarm. It is not, they decide, a very good alarm system.

2:12:40 Cub decides he’s going in. The others stay outside and talk about whether or not they were scared of the warden, a bell curve that seems to have a lot to do with how much they played the lower levels of Decked Out 2. Cub types in chat that it’s fine, then flies back and tells them that he did get blasted. “Nice,” Cleo compliments. Cleo is of two minds whether they should all keep their mouths shut or leave some kind of sign at the door for Doc. Scar is worried about property damage, but the sonic shriek does not break blocks, only players. Cleo does like the idea of Doc thinking his alarm caught the culprit, then getting linked to the stream and realizing it is just a bunch of bumbling Hermits. They also think it is funny that now the Glitcher actually can do anything they want in the next few hours until the alarm is reset. Nobody else knows the name “The Glitcher,” or at least they are pretending not to. Cleo consults with Chat and passes along the knowledge that the name The Glitcher was provided to Doc on a sign after one of the ore thefts. Scar thinks that this new name sounds a lot like the work of one Cubfan and plays his Darth Vader breathing horn in an attempt to intimidate him into a confession. It does not work. In the background, Joe has left the group and gone back towards the shop, but drops out of sight at the base of the sand pile and eventually flies back around to rejoin the group without actually going inside.

2:15:10 Cub pushes the Grian and/or Scar theory again, but that’s been discussed before. Ren decides that after an hour and fifteen minutes, they are not even a tiny bit closer to figuring out whodunnit. But there is a warden in the shop now, so that’s something? Scar thinks that a warden has got to be bad for Doc’s business, right? Cleo doesn’t believe that Doc cares at all about the success of his business, mostly because he’s being paid in sand. Doc is just being dramatic. Cub circles back around to “The Glitcher” and the quotation marks around it are audible. He asks if it’s true there was a sign. He and Scar both want to see a screenshot from Chat. Chat thinks Cub is pretending a little too hard.

02:17:00 Cleo and Ren both suggest putting up signs purporting to be from the Glitcher, solely for the purpose of trolling Doc. Scar insists that they cannot do that, he is the investigator and he is supposed to be _helping._ Ren thinks it would be very funny to have a sign reading “Soz for tripping your alarm, -The Pincer” (Or Pincher, it’s hard to say.)) Cleo gives him a sign and tells him to have at it. Scar protests loudly again and says they can’t do that. Ren clearly considers it, but then says he cannot do it either, he is Doc’s husband. Cleo grabs the sign and runs for the shop.

2:18:40 Cleo braves the terrible noises of the shop to place a sign in the doorway reading “LOL, Failed Again!” Ren is right behind her and protests that she didn’t add the part about The Pincer. She agrees she did not, because that is LAME. Scar gets the screenshot he wanted from his Discord chat and suddenly remembers Doc talking about these signs. Apparently Doc saw that there was a misspelling on one of the signs and (in Scar’s words) decided to blame the dumbest guy in the crew. Cub also believes that a misspelled sign points in Scar’s direction. The new sign is not going to serve well as a piece of evidence, given that there is a lot of stream evidence about who placed it and why and when, but Cleo doesn’t care. Doc deserves to be wound up, he murdered Cleo’s pig.

2:19:50 Ren has to admit that even though Doc is his husband, he does have something to answer for when it comes to Pig Murder. Scar is paying attention to his chat for once, he tells the others to hang on because an investigation is taking place in his Discord. While Scar is so ostentatiously distracted, Cleo begins handing out a few judicious gifts of diamonds, though the stream lag inherent in a bunch of hermits together leaves a lot of room for them to steal from one another. Cleo becomes convinced that Joe has become the recipient of diamonds they intended to go elsewhere and begins beating him like a pinata in the hopes they will disgorge. In the background, Scar announces that his chat believes Big Salmon is behind the whole thing, but he has no idea what that means. Joe flies away. Scar swears he saw Grian walking around near Doc’s shop, but Cleo has no POV angle to confirm or deny that. Cameron informs Cleo that Ren got the diamonds and is lying about it. Cleo congratuates Grian on some excellent trolling. They go up to the shop, but do not find Grian. Cleo thinks that sneaking in under everyone’s noses for trolling is huge Grian energy.

2:22:20 Ren finds a sign on the sand store that was not there earlier. “Sorry about your alarm, Scar, Chief Investigator.” Scar swears he did not put it there, and indeed he would’ve had a very hard time doing so because he has been moving and talking with the group basically the entire time. Ren insists the sign is there, and it was even glow-inked. Cub says that must’ve been Grian, so Grian is a suspect too. Even as he says it, Joe throws a handful of glow inks out of his inventory and onto the ground. Scar notices it right away. Cleo points the finger at Joe. Joe says he said ten minutes ago that he was going to put up a sign on Scar’s behalf apologizing for the alarm, but nobody ever listens to him. Cleo laughs and says they love it when a plan comes together, they just wish it was theirs. The others are skeptical. Scar points out that Cleo is really pumping the ego of whoever did this and that’s a little suspicious. Cleo says that if they were the culprit, they would’ve told everyone. Joe points out that Cleo could’ve told everyone and it might not have changed anything. After all, Joe told everyone he was going to place the sign and nobody listened to that! Cleo points out that people actually listen to them.

2:24:30 Scar has a thought, forgets it immediately, then immediately remembers it again. He wants to know why his Chat is so insistent that it is Beef. ((Scar’s chat is very devoted to the Big Salmon Theory.)) Why would it be Beef? Cleo laughs and says every single one of them knows why it isn’t Beef right now, and that Beef is too busy to be getting up to any kind of shenanigans. The others agree and warn Scar not to say anything or else there will be real trouble. Scar suggests that Beef’s gonna have a beef with him, but he doesn’t offer any further hints. ((Cleo is obliquely referring to an announcement Beef will make the next day; he and his wife are expecting their first child and thus Beef has way bigger salmon to fry than moonlighting as the Ore Snatcher.)) Cub explains that Beef was part of the Big Salmon consortium that feuded with Doc and Big Wood at the start of the season, but that feud is pretty much over now. They all admire the Big Salmon floating in the Hourglass.

2:26:00 Scar reports that his Chat has turned around on the Beef question, they believe Cleo that it cannot be Beef. The group goes back to trying to decide who the Ore Snatcher actually is, aside from Joe who is still mad it isn’t him. They each go around the circle and give Scar a theory, but none of them seem better supported than the others. Scar says this is all useless, but he’s going to go get a search warrant to search everyone’s storage systems. Ren asks if Scar is going to search his own storage system, perchance? Scar says he’ll have Doc do it. Ren is satisfied by that. Cleo says that’ll definitely work, because nobody on this server except the culprit has deepslate diamond ore, surely.

2:29:00 Scar’s favorite theory is that it was Doc himself, causing drama by stealing his own diamonds. The others think that’s a funny theory. Joe says his favorite theory is that the Scicraft guys got in touch with Karin, Doc’s partner, and gave her detailed instructions on how to carry out the thefts in retribution for unspecified petty wrongs. Whenever Doc is out of the house with Doccy, she’s sneaking onto the server with his account and stealing the diamonds based on detailed tutorials. Scar loves this idea. Ren asks if that means Karin has to come to court. Nobody is sure if she even has a Minecraft account. She might have to make one to come to court.

2:30:40 Cleo laughs and suggests that this has all been a big ploy to jump-start Karin’s YouTube career. Joe is taken by this idea and suggests it would be an amazing spinoff series, Karin and Mrs. Tango and Lizzie Shadow-Beans, but they’re all thieves. Ren puts forth a suggestion from his chat that maybe it _is_ Lizzie, pranking Doc when Joel is out of the house. Cleo thinks Karin is a more likely suspect than Lizzie. Scar admits it’s unlikely, but hilarious. Cleo says that now it is imperative that some Hermit’s spouse begins pranking the server. Joe says that now that his fiance Badgerspanner has heard that, she’s going to demand to be able to do it. Cleo laughs and points out that Joe will get blamed for that. Joe cheerfully announces that he knows, and it’s just going to make more work for Cleo because she’s going to have to explain to him why, when everybody thought it was a funny idea during this stream. Scar suddenly chimes in with “Desperate Hermitwives” from his Chat.

2:32:50 Cleo wants to wrap up, but she stays long enough to hear one more Bdubs theory. Ren wants to know what better way there could be to get people into the court for lawsuits than by causing a bunch of trouble? Cub likes that idea, but Cleo and Scar argue about whether the court actually costs money. Cub is still accusing Scar though, saying that nobody has more to gain from crimes on the server than the Poe Poe. Scar protests, saying he and Bdubs are the Judicial system and devoted to stopping crime! Because the police are never corrupt, right? The argument continues for a moment until Scar finally says “I touched Doc’s boring machine, I blew it up, I banged it too hard, and I’m not interested in banging Doc’s redstone anymore.”

2:34:35 There is a moment of silence. Cleo announces she is leaving. It’s been a lovely stream, they should do this again sometime never. She flies away laughing and insisting that nobody should ever ask Scar why, because No. Cleo apologizes to Chat for getting nothing useful done, but Chat clearly does not care. Cleo goes back to full screen to thank subs and donos, then says that even though she didn’t plan a lot, she did technically plan the plan, which was the plan all along. So that’s something. Cleo raids into Rendog and (with a brief interruption from Joe and his train whistle) ends their stream.

[rottenpumpkin13]

To AGSZC:

I have managed to send my pet Ball Python, Luna, into the SOLDIER floor. She is a wonderful little noodle and I hope you all enjoy her company. If she bites somebody, feed her a rat, but make sure she doesn't mistake Genesis for one.

Sincerely, SeaSaltHeadache~ 🖤✨🪽

*Sephiroth is trying to feed the python a live rat. There is a chocobo in the corner. Angeal walks into the room*

Angeal: What's with the chocobo?

Sephiroth: Pay it no mind.

Angeal: Have you seen Genesis?

Sephiroth: He went out to buy toys to enrich the python's stay here.

Angeal:

Sephiroth:

Angeal: The rat is Genesis isn't, it?

Sephiroth: No?

Angeal: You turned Genesis into a rat.

Sephiroth: A baseless accusation.

*Zack walks in*

Zack: What's with the chocobo?

Sephiroth: Pay it no mind.

Angeal: Sephiroth turned Genesis into a rat and now he's trying to feed him to the python.

Zack: What!? SEPHIROTH, THAT'S AWFUL!

*He rushes up to the rat and cuddles it*

Zack: DON'T WORRY GENESIS, WE'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU'RE A RAT.

*Genesis is standing in the doorway*

Genesis: What are you talking about? I'm standing right here.

Angeal: Huh. What was I thinking? Sephiroth, I'm sorry for accusing you of turning Genesis into a rat.

Sephiroth: Apology accepted.

*The spell wears off and the chocobo turns back into Cloud*

Cloud: FUCK YOU

[panelshowsource]

helloooo everyone happy tuesday (barely)!

first, some recent uploads on googledrive:

all of guy mont spelling be, nz and au (new eps!)

new audiobooks by bob mortimer and rhys nicholson

john kearns – the varnishing days

jessie cave – an ecstatic display (recorded at the fringe 2024)

note that you can find the last leg in paris here, plus taskmaster nz here and here, and i want to mention again that the googledrive i share on my main account has some beautiful rips of great british comedy/-adjacent films i highly recommend: withnail and i, boiling point, gosford park, monty python and the holy grail, the personal history of david copperfield, the full monty, and more

second, i'm moving this week!!! i'm still an nyc girlie of courseee, but now i'll be in park slope 🥹 if anyone is nearby, give us a shout!! i may be a little slow uploading this week, but i should have wifi every day and be able to make sure the new gmsb and tut episodes are up within a day or so~ and i'll be back to posting gifs shortly!

third, thank you so much to everyone who sent me a tip on my new kofi page 🥹😭 they were very generous, not to mention they paid for half of the googledrive for this month! so thoughtful, thank u again ❤️