#r really relatable to me
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#i just hate how memed death grips is like#when some of the themes and topics in songs r sometimes like#not just surface level like#its fr so fkn irritating#like some of their songs that the lyrics r obv about mental health and mental illness#r really relatable to me#esp come up and get me#and a lot of their songs talk abt identity like the tweet says#the one that comes to mind is their song klink
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happy pride month here’s my contribution of trans nanami who didn’t transition until after he left jjtech and so when he comes back a brick shithouse it throws everyone for a loop. the group chat and i have dubbed this pre-t version of him nananiña. naniña for short
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#art#nanami kento#haibara yu#ieiri shoko#gojo and geto r there but they’re not important in this. they’re just being assholes#naniña u will always be so famous to meeee. she’s rly cutesy poop#i’m kinda obsessed i have so many comic and drawing ideas. both trans related and just daily life#nanami and haibara i need to draw them more and don’t even get me started on nanami and shoko#god u guys those two have always been rly important to me i refuse to believe they’re not really good friends.#shoko is thrilled to have another ‘girl’ around i think she drags nanami on impromptu outings just the two of them much to gojos chagrin#his fomo can’t handle it#anyway i also firmly believe shoko is the first one nanami comes out to. it would’ve been haibara but i imagine nanami never got the chance#to tell him cuz. well u know#anywho i’m yapping happy pride month everypony
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so five and lila being a thing is going right next to allison literally sexually assaulting luther in the box of things we are absolutely under no circumstances accepting as part of canon right
#tw sa mention#cw sa mention#would love if when yall reblog this you could tag with tw or cw sa mention to keep things safe!!#i actually enjoyed s4 and thought the ending was perfect to be so real#s3 really lowered my expectations lmao#tua#tua season 4#tua spoilers#the umbrella academy#s4 was fun they flubbed so many storylines but it was fun and emotional and klaus got a ton of comic book moments and there was bonding#it was fun ok#honestly in my head s3 wasn’t even canon like the timeline split#sometimes s2 isn’t even canon to me but it’s so fucking fun#it’s all fun and fucking sad and goddammit i liked it more than s3 maybe because there was less incest the bar is really low huh#unless u subscribe to the technically all the kids r biologically related thing (i do) in which case lila/diego & lila/five are also incest#but for this show ‘we may kind of be biologically related bc of magic but we don’t have the same last name & dad & childhood home’ is a win#anyway i love klaus always everyday i love them they’re everything to me#i honestly just really let myself enjoy this season bc it’s the last one and i’ve been through hell#klaus hargreeves#five hargreeves#allison hargreeves#lila pitts#luther hargreeves#reginald hargreeves#diego hargreeves#yeet my deet#yeetua
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I started reading beastars so now HE's reading beastars .wait
THEY'RE reading beastars
#nobody gets a prize for correctly guessing which character yakumo relates to most#when the anime first came out and everybody hopped on the hype train#i scratched my chin thoughtfully and wondered.... would i like this? it seems like i would like this. should i watch it?#and all my friends around me said 'nah you'll probably hate it. it's really sad'#so i trusted them and ignored beastars the whole time. until now. when i saw the entire series at my LOCAL LIBRARY!!!!#so of course the curiosity wins out and i start reading it and i REALLY LIKE IT?? WTF WERE MY FRIENDS ON ABOUT?#this is sad yes but most of the time it's FUNNY? and also ANIMALS R COOL? bruh. i can't trust my friends' opinions of me anymore#anyway. due to the nature of my current nuca fixation timing. i kept thinking of it while reading#drawing parallels that may only exist in my mind LOL#i can imagine yaku being a freak over legoshi and his quest to become strong but not falling to his instincts and etc.etc.#yakugaru having a manga reading session in either o their bedrooms... lying on the floor engrossed in beastly tales...#these two would absolutely have a debate about which chara is most similar to eiden#to yaku it is obvs haru but i feel like garu would see eiden in a less.... prey sort of way#or maybe they'd agree on the haru comparison!! but yaku might hesitate to voice the 'mr eiden... has to be protected...' thoughts#and garu would proudly proclaim how eiden and haru share traits like bravery/outgoingness/super cool and go-getter/wise and worldly???#i kept staring down louis like.... you're some mix of dante and edmond... and something else....#UGH i like all the characters... they all have their charms.... they are all such creatures#honestly yahya the entire time was just relatable content and after seeing the way he lived out the rest of his life *chef's kiss* GOALS#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival garu
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oops all rock (springtime edition)
i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…
could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)
#my art#sos awl#debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff#or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs#i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know#and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love#rock tumbling (sos)#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokumono#story of seasons#harvest moon#hm awl#harvest moon a wonderful life#bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too#there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them#but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK……#idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!!#fanart#awl rock#bokujou monogatari#hm anwl#unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry……..#also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool…#ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted#mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters#OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING#i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version#and also fun secret things related to DS#this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu….#i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)
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silly thingy
@blackkatdraws's sillies
#Bro think an “i love you” isnt enough#maybe it aint enough though#i took Black's name a lil bit too literal#i mean i've seen he kinda works that way?#the drawing made me feel a certain way that makes me sad#like everything related to blank scripts's stan#i have a ton of conflicted feelings surrounding Black's character rlly#mainly cause idk and its mostly theories#and all my theories point that he is an obviously bad person#but thats just his nature#he aint human why would he act like one#why would he have the same morals as one#you really (at least to what i've seen) dont know much about his past#you dont know how he could've developed so therefore you have no way to know how he'd turned out like this#And with Stan you kinda know#who would be in their right mind when they r stuck in a place like that#he fell in love with Black cause of his eminine features and cause he kinda knows him since he has been stuck in that place with his voice#for god knows how long#why didnt he fall in love with Mariella then?#maybe cause she aint feminine enough or maybe cause she didnt fit his standars or whatever#maybe is the time they met#i think is knowledge too#Like Mari actively chooses to be ignorant in a ton of cases#and Stanley CLEARLY sees it#like the fucking eyes drawing that i keep cominfg back to#ALSO I'LL MAKE A REBLOG TALKING BOUT IT MORE#the stanley parable#blank scripts au#tsp blank scripts au
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yknow i understand that the memes are Not That Deep and it is fun to make jokes and relating w/others about like "oh no i started another wip when i have 90000 other wips im neglecting!!! i had another idea when i should be working on the projects i already have!!!" and i get that it is a good habit to like, finish what you start and the want to see things through and such. like shore i relate 2 these too. but ☝️! i must ask. is it really so bad to have many ideas. is it really so bad to have several idea pools to bounce back and forth from when perhapeth you get stuck on the current one youre on and wanna mix it up a little. IS IT SO WRONG to not finish a wip. must everything be a completed project that is pretty and cleaned up and perfectly done?! i do know, as i said, that it is Not That Deep. but also i do worry that perhaps for some people, it Is That Deep. i would personally like to reject the concept that all ideas must be completed start to finish in a nice little order otherwise it's "not right" or whatever. sometimes you start something and it doesnt really go anywhere! that's fine. sometimes you put it away for a few days or weeks or months or years and then you come back to it later!! whats wrong w/that. who is putting deadlines on these things, if they are in fact hobbies. business is i guess another story but im not TALKING about business. i am talking about fun teehee hobby time. cutting away imaginary rules and putting false pressures and having FUN why is it so SHAMEFUL to have many ideas and working on them as you GO!!!! be free. do whatever u want FOREVER!!!!!!!
#this sounds like im making an announcement. im not announcing shit im just babbling in a big run on paragraph lol#i think sometimes you hit a point where like#u see a hashtag relatable meme so many times that it is like yknow what. maybe this ISNT relatable to me anymore actually.#also i did not even see a meme about this at all today or even recently#i was just thinking about my various crochet projects as i was working on one and daydreaming about my various fics in progress#and the new idea i had for a fic / the new pattern i looked up earlier#because i LIKE having many things to work on at once#it keeps my momentum going#who give a shit if it's not organized or efficient or whatever the point is supposed to be#no imaginary rules in my HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway. not saying the memes r a crime or anything LOL i dont really care ppl can do wahtever they want#but ya know. sometimes things start as a light joke and then they snowball Very Quickly#or maybe that is something more telling about my personality LOL#n e way. many have said i am probs undiagnosed ADHD and i do think id explode if i tried to limit myself to finishing one thing at a time#brain gets stuck on one thing and needs to fly around for a while to look at other things!! do not cage my bird.#okay bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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thinking about her for no reason at all
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#alexandrite#i have more. interesting and ep related drawings but theyre all in sketchbooks so R I P#but she really is such a. fascinating antagonist....#the way she refracts the themes of this campain is so#part of me is hoping she doesnt get killed bcus. WELL I LIKE HER SND SHES A GOOD VILLAIN#.... but truly. who is to say.#posts by me dot com
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Andy from breakfast club liked the crazy girl alternative more! We all shout in unison!!
And I don’t blame him ily crazy girls y’all rock y’all make the world a better place fr
if I were a poet I’d write “ode to crazy girls” and so would Andy Clark 😌
#allison x andrew#the breakfast club#allison the breakfast club#andrew clark#allison reynolds#andy the breakfast club#rambling#ask#to be a lil real for a second I think people like Allison who are slightly nuts and don’t hide it really are better company than the more#like��repressed/put together people#idk maybe it’s my own religious guilt n internalized shame speakin but me personally I can’t just be…myself like that a lotta the time#(and neither could Andy which was partially the point of the movie ig)#so i- and Andy too I suspect- find that when im around folks who r just overshare-y n outta pocket it’s like bein given permission to let#go of ur inhibitions. Which is pretty freeing yk? like oh she’s bein nuts so i get to relax and be myself too bc she’s not gonna judge#and it’s nice. Real nice. makes ya feel understood n all#maybe that sounds backhanded but im bein completely genuine- to me this is good lol#another variation of this dynamic is Joel and Lana in risky business but they go in a totally different direction w/ that#either way tho I think that’s why Joel and Andrew are some of the most relatable characters in the world to me#nothin like a crazy girl to get ya to loose all ur shame n fear 😎#anyway tl;dr crazy girls have my heart#and yes I did have a crush on Allison Reynolds when i was 14#(ok who am I kidding I still do)
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✧ ‧˚₊ Starry Moodboard and...
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+ Starry Overstimulated Stimboard ִ ֗ ☆ ⁎·゚
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#WHAT STARTED OFF AS ME TRYING TO MAKE A PINTEREST BOARD FOR MYSELF FOR A CERTAIN... AU...#SPIRALED INTO ME GETTING A WHOLE NEW TIME CONSUMING OBSESSIVE HOBBY GODDAMNIT- /hj#LITERALLY WHY. LITERALLY GO AWAY- /nsrs /ref /hj /lh#(these boards are both not related to the au btw-)#i will NOT be taking reqs /gen /lh ; that's crashing's thing and i'd feel bad if i took their whole thing- ( ´ ᗣ ` )՞ /gen /srs#also bc they're so much better at making them/finding the resources for them and im just doing jackshit whatever- /gen#idk i think im just gonna do whatever i want with this newfound power(?.. not really XD) for now-#i have a few ideas in mind that id like to try and make but i think i might stick to making moodboards for them instead#just bc stimboards r so fucking hard to make (props to you crashing bc idk how you do this; this was so difficult for me-)#(im not happy with the colors/formatting of it and i dont think i ever will be- it feels really disorientating rather than calming-#-esp if i stare at it for longer than a few seconds/intently; its just imbalanced and a lot of different motion at once) /gen#also why'd i have to develop this interest literally right as ap exams start lurking around the corner.. ugh... ╥﹏╥ /gen /srs#pc rpf community#starry's sona(s)#starry's moodboards#rpf#pc rpf
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1# freak about the entomologist character -> YOU KNOW THINGS ABOUT ENTOMOLOGIST. ING
YES I DO!!!! >:]c!!!
entomology is a huuuuge interest of mine and actually what im going to uni for!!! so ive worked in two different entomology labs (both being more focused on agricultural entomology) and ive met a handful of people who work in that field :D
it influences a little bit of how i see queenie HAHA so far anyone ive met who works in entomology is very strange in different ways, and i dont see her as having been an entomologist prior to entering the circus (maybe in the past at most? but some way or another she ended up working at c&a...) BUT i like to incorporate that into how i see her!!! its very fun :D
im not an entomologist myself by any means but i have a little bit of experience with that field should that insight be needed for queenie purposes!!!!
#ask#just last night i was talking to friends about the sheer horror that is sweepnetting miles of soybean fields for stink bugs#while horseflies are pestering u and also the soybeans r up to ur chest LOL#and briefly mentioned on my main that i had to use a microscope to count literal thousands of spider mites while i had a full on migraine#im going back to that lab soon :) i was very sad to leave it last fall when i left to live oncampus#the second lab had less going on all the time but thats also cus i was helping out grad students w the like repetitive stuff#so they could go work on the actually indepth parts#so it was mostly me looking at hundreds of flies to figure out if they were one of two extremely closely related species#only really differentiated by a slight size difference and that one had bigger femurs#or sifting thru stuff to collect beetles for hours and hours. or cleaning stuff#all this is a long winded way of saying YES i do!!!!#a lot of entomology is counting HAHA i had to count things a lot#my best friend clicker counters....#my supervisor once told me the way to identify a good clicker counter is if you could physically harm someone if u hit them with it#caps
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mentally still in every cutscene and conversation w samuel
#btw.#still thinking about how you can sacrifice the silver to save him . yeah its selfish but. i do not care lol#did he really think he could convince them that zizka would pay ransom or did he just say that so henry wouldn't waste time on him .#he was ready to be left there to rot and was shocked when you pick him up .#also not over how easily he and henry embrace each other as brothers . they're not even related by blood . man.#warhorse give me a dlc w sam and my life is yours#if kcd3 ever happens and sam is in it i fear i will be so annoying#that is if henry canonically saves him . um. i refuse to believe henry leaves him . there's no way right haha#kcd2#kcd2 spoilers#samuel#six speaks#u guys r lucky i try to be normal on here bc i would not shut up about this man otherwise#something about tough looking men who are impulsive and stubborn but their heart is in the right place make me unwell#actually the best character in the game you will be banished to hell if you disagree
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One of my biggest problems is my being fixted on certain Rules.
Now, it would've been bad enough if I really only held myself to those rules. Nobody cares if I only write poetry one specific way, or if I insist on reading only the most canon-compliant fics, or if I try being realistic and accurate when talking about alternate histories. Well, those things aren't exactly bad as they're all my choices, but they do close me in a very narrow box. And making myself stand up to particular high standards... well, we call that perfectionism and it's not all too good.
But the problem is, I occasionally find myself applying my Rules to other people. And that's a problem. No, this person doesn't actually have to stick to the rhyming patterns of the poem they write a continuation to, they can write it however they want. This joke is funny, it doesn't need to be edited for historical accuracy. If people are having fun and/or being creative, I have no right to criticize them because their fun and art isn't up to my Rules' standards.
I don't have to correct inconsequential perceived historical inaccuracies. As a matter of fact, I really should not to that as it's just pedantic bordering on patronizing and would most likely just serve to annoy people, especially with how inconsequential it usually is.
But it can drive me nuts sometimes. The poem is right there, it's not that hard to recognize the rhyming scheme; a joke about one person that sounded funny cannot be applied to another person with a completely different genre of writing; this alternate history couldn't occur because the key event isn't really when you thought it was. And the problem is me and my perfectionism, not people having fun without obeying these Rules. But it makes it very hard to not respond with corrections no one asked for, or write a condescending post seeking to inform about the topic but ending up heavily hinting at that one wrong thing I saw someone write.
I'm not very good at relaxing this urge. So I have a conundrum: either I say nothing and keep it all in my brain - in which case it will rise every now and then and drive me up the walls, because someone is wrong on the Internet and doesn't opperate by my Rules, or I break and write the post - only for it to heavily hint at where my frustration is directed at now, staying just shy of saying it outright and tagging the person who lit it up. And I don't think either of those is a good option. Bottling down my emotions would cause them to explode, and letting them run free will end up hurting people.
So yeah, I really would appreciate advice.
#trutharchivist#ranting#perfectionism#Rules with a capital r#this is a half-hearted Diana Wynne Jones reference#i really can't tag this with tags on which I had such experiences#because the content isn't too related#at best I can say that this gave birth to the jewish religious literature tag#but I really don't want it to have that#i declare trutharchivist as my “personal stuff” tag#it doesn't mean you can't engage#just that this is for post about me personally
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rotating the UHCs + serveur du lundi qetoiles precanon potentiality in my mind
#im watching that vod where etoiles teaches antoine to play mc#and at one point he says he’s a mercenary as opposed to an adventurer (in relation to when he used to play UHCs)….. fascinating#and he spends the whole time being like no im not gonna join the server u guys r gonna play on (antoine baghera + other tdl people) bc i#don’t play survival i’m a uhc/pvp guy….. obviously he does and we got the serveur du lundi the funniest shit in the world#but watching the vod did make me realise that woagh before that server where he did do a lot of adventuring and exploring bro was like 👎 to#survival and rly only did strictly pvp….. for apparently like 2000 hours……… this fucking guy#but yeah anw very very interesting to consider that in a qetoiles pov bc wow . up until very recently his whole life really just had been#constant pvp and all the exploring he did on qsmp was in part a new aspect of life he was discovering#much to think about . i am already sorta writing a fic about precanon qfrench stuff this just adds fuel to my fire 🔥🔥🔥#jay rambles#étoiles#qfrench.posting
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had a really incredible moment this evening. went to my campus art market where one of my friends was selling the tank top i'm wearing - another friend bought it for me and i'm so overjoyed to have it. usually a fit that leans more Traditionally Masculine feels like a costume but tonight it just felt deeply correct and honest and warm. took the opportunity to take some indulgent little pictures because i do not think i have Ever looked more like myself. so happy.
#im like. slowly gently exploring butchness & ... what it means to me & ... trying to release the idea that it requires Masculinity....#ive always felt pretty disconnected from masculinity as a whole but i'm starting to find points of entry that resonate really deeply#& along with that is like... esp when it comes 2 kink & leather & butchness - which r not intrinsically related but to me they r connected#theres this idea that like. i'm taking myself too seriously. and that nobody's gonna take me seriously. and that i'm too little too young#that im like#obviously inexperienced and a joke and failing and looking stupid .#but ... realized recently that . that's really just the trauma talking#and that i can just like. try shit out. and notice how it feels + what comes up#and then try it again if i so wish#and nothing i try has to be permanent or defining ... and that like . my desires and comforts and joys and needs Should Be Taken Seriously#soooo much of my like. impostor syndrome . has to do with worrying that im not doing it right when compared to other men#but like.... most of the kinky men / leathermen i see are 35+ and cis .#of course im not doing it like them .#so . looking to the queers i know. especially my fellow transmascs as well as lesbians . for like. reassurance and inspiration#has been very healing . & good for my heart & my soul.#:)#yeah .#i think i gotta go read butch is a noun. ... yeah#goodnight :)#speak#materialization#ok2rb
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Mira shenanigans
#She’s named after Princess Miracle Pemberton from the Five Kingdoms series#I was obsessed with it during Covid but it doesn’t have much of a fandom 😭#Srsly we’d get her own toys but the dogs keep eating them 💀#No I do not leave pencils around unless I’m watching her and she’s never eaten them#only chews on them a little and I always take it away when she starts to I promise I take care of my baby girl#I should get her catnip tho… she’d love that#I kinda have to make my own toys for her with string and sticks 😭💀#Sorry my voice sounds weird too#I’ve got the plague (Covid)#Thanks fam for bringing that back with you from Yellowstone XDXD at least it hasn’t hit me as hard as it did them#My lungs r struggling tho..im out of breath#and have a cough that just sits low in my lungs and throat#its really annoying#Just realized me telling her have a copic could sound like a rich girl pick me#I am in no way rich or a pick me please trust I’m so paranoid after someone called me a pick me as a “joke” at school once#it was just the closest thing next to me I could distract her with I practically sleep with them I cherish them so much#Mom bought those for Christmas for me#I hadn’t even asked for anything related to them considering she has my three brothers who are asking fo stuff like Xbox’s and nintendos lo#😭 I love my mom
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