#race sex age whatever i don't judge people for any of it

[diamondspiral]

Hello~

I'm Diamond, Di, Monty, or simply Sir or Ma'am; call me whichever of these you prefer. They/Them. I'm 30, nonbinary and pansexual.

This is a mind control/hypnokink/general kink blog, so obviously NSFW!

I'm here mainly to socialize, reblog nice hypno art and animations to collect them in some nice organised tags, and possibly show off my own art and writing, if inspiration strikes.

I am taken and not currently looking to start anything serious with anyone else, although my partner and I are polyamorous, so I'm not ruling out some casual play here and there.

I Will Block You Without Warning If:

-You post harshly flashing images without tagging them as #flashing gif, #epilepsy warning, or something else that people can use to filter out these posts. They give me a fucking headache (and though personally I don't have photosensitive epilepsy, I think we all have a responsibility to make this a safe place for any kinkster to play in, don't you?). -You're a minor. My page is a 18+ only space. -You post bigoted shit. Transphobic, homophobic, biphobic, exorsexist, racist, antisemitic... whatever. I just want to relax and have kinky fun, not worry about whether the people I'm playing with would sell me or my friends out for a quick buck. Have a little humanity. -You've overstepped a boundary of mine. This one should go without saying, I think.

I Enjoy:

-Transformation -Intoxication -Monsterfucking -Praise kink -Dumbification -Pheromones/Sex pollen -Furry stuff -Probably some other stuff that I'll think of and add later...

My Hard Limits Are:

-Detrans -Unhygenic/scat/golden showers etc -Race play -Age play/DDLG -Feet Not judging anyone who indulge in any of these, they just make ME very uncomfortable.

If I have violated your DNI I promise with my whole heart that it was accidental; I will have reblogged a post of yours from my dashboard or seen your blog appear on my 'blogs you might like' ticker intending to take a closer look later. You have my deepest apologies, please just DM me and I'll remove the reblog (keeping in mind I live in a UTC +11 time zone) no questions asked.

If you find yourself on my page, I hope you enjoy yourself~

[roses-edge]

could you please explain what is so weird and bad about gay people & same sex exclusive bisexuals being non-monogamous/polyamorous? i'm a lesbian radfem, and i am not getting what the issue is.

I think it's emotionally immature, basically. I don't think it's possible to truly have a deep connection with/love more than one person at a time. Assuming both parties consent (which I'm sure they do), I still think it's such a shallow thing. Just cum and go. No difference between that person and a full silicone flesh doll (saying this is how poly people treat others). Poly people might say otherwise, but I don't believe them. The way they treat others vs. what they say says otherwise.

Obviously, these relations won't have the power dynamics het ones do (disregarding age/race/etc.). I just really judge poly people regardless. I won't be outwardly rude, but I will definitely not be their friends. Acquaintances at most.

You can do whatever you want, I WILL be extremely judgemental (ngl). But I won't treat you any different. I think its just people who wanna sleep around while keeping a main fuck budy.

[peachyteabuck]

For the book asks :D

A book that didn’t live up to your expectations

A book that was most out of your comfort zone

What was the most unexpected book you read this year?

What was the book you were most excited about before you started reading it?

A book you already want to reread

The book with the prettiest cover

Five books you absolutely want to read next year?

Do you have any reading goals for next year?

And a bonus question I thought of, a book that you'll never read no matter how popular it is whether its massive following or recommendations etc

A book that didn’t live up to your expectations

Any of Rina Kent's books. They get recommended a lot, but I just....do NOT like them. I understand romance novels can be formulaic, and not every romance novel needs to be subversive. But she commits the greatest crime a romance novelist can commit: She's boring. Her characters are boring.

A book that was most out of your comfort zone

This is a GOOOD question. I read a lot of different types of books, but White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Isenberg was definitely out of my comfort zone both in length and it's corresponding depth. I'm like...rarely surprised, when it comes to books about the horrors of history (especially class and race relations) but her book was an ENTIRELY new perspective on class. Like, I fully thought the origin of "cracker" was the crack of a slave owner's whip. NOPE. My best friend recommended this to me years ago and I finally read it this year and it was rough. The book is also VERY dense, so it took me awhile to get through.

What was the most unexpected book you read this year?

Hmmmmmmm. Maybe Cows by Matthew Stokoe? I..uh...was very much not aware of the book's subject matter before I started and almost vomited reading it.

What was the book you were most excited about before you started reading it?

Base Nation: How U.S. Military Bases Abroad Harm America and the World by David Vine. A lot of people in my field have read the book and raved about it, so I was super excited to Get It. I was not let down. This is one of my "must-reads" when people ask me for book recommendations.

A book you already want to reread

The Feral Princess series by Ann Denton. Those books were soo surprisingly good and gritty and fucking hot. Idk how to mark re-reads in Storygraph but damn those books are good.

The book with the prettiest cover

Can I use Ace by Angela Chen? I just love the subtle purples.

Five books you absolutely want to read next year?

This reminds me, I need to update my to-read list on Storygraph with my TBR shelf. Anyway, I want to read: 1. The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander 2. Preventing Palestine: Political History from Camp David to Oslo by Seth Anziska 3. Regretting Motherhood by Orna Donath 4. Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire by Eric Berkowitaza 5. Imbeciles: The Supreme Court, American Eugenics, and the Sterilization of Carrie Buck by Adam Cohen

Do you have any reading goals for next year?

I feel like I sound like a crazy person given how busy I'll be in 2023 but I want to read 100 books again. I love to read, and reading so much this year exposed me to a ton of new ideas and worlds despite how shitty life got. Even when I was reading romance novels more than anything else, I loved a lot of those romance novels.

And a bonus question I thought of, a book that you'll never read no matter how popular it is whether its massive following or recommendations etc

I want to say Harry Potter but that sounds like a copout so: ACOSTR or whatever it's called. I already was against it because straight white women on booktok can't be trusted (see: RE: Tessa Bailey and Katee Roberts) but you just can't fucking make me read that book. I don't even know what it's about, and I already have a bias against fantasy books because they're not really my thing. Finding out she used the death of a Breonna Taylor to promote it is also like, truly disgusting in a way I cannot fathom.

[bluerosesburnblue]

Bless that post. I love the aro/ace headcanon, but I also love all mc/charlie shippers. Basically, I'm very very Pro-Ship and like... I've seen the people who headcanon aro/ace charlie get really hostile and weirdly aggressive over it. I'm pretty sure one person even deactivated their account because they dared to call out the harrasment and were in turn harrassed themselves. Fandom is supposed to be fun and shipping should never be about activism like some ppl are trying to do and it boggles me

Thank you. Given the extremes people go to on this site, it’s nice to see someone else who agrees with me about keeping these things measured and respectful

Honestly, my breaking point the other night was that I happened to see an anon on one of the really popular blogs in the fandom. All they said was that they were a fan of the ace headcanon, but they saw a lot of the negativity in the tag in regards to the Charlie/MC ship and were worried that if they started posting their stuff regarding it that they’d get backlash or get seen as insensitive. The whole thing looked like someone who was very anxious asking someone they respected if they thought it would be appropriate. They probably trusted that blog to be mature and give them some reassurance

The response they got was basically (I’m paraphrasing here) “The ace ‘headcanon’ is undeniably canon, you can still post your thing but just know that it’s not canon and nobody has to like the fact that you posted it. I don’t know what hate you’re seeing, but I haven’t seen it and I don’t think it exists.” Which is, like… denying that anon’s experience and brushing off their fears is just a shitty thing to do to someone who was obviously nervous and looking for reassurance. And also completely wrong. Just because you can read that interpretation into a canon line doesn’t mean that your interpretation is completely canonical. Dating and romantic or sexual attraction are not the same thing. And it’s bad enough that that response is getting a good amount of notes

But what really pissed me off was a response I saw from someone else on that post. This person immediately accused that anon of intentionally overreacting and fishing for sympathy, crossing the line by asking someone they respected about their opinion of the discourse, and trying to deny asexual people representation. And they had the nerve to go on about how “people you thought were nice are turning out to be shitty people.” And then told that anon to grow up

That is absolutely disgusting behavior. Even if Charlie was canonically aro/ace, it would be going too far. Nobody knows anything about that anon, because they’re a goddamned anon. For all anybody knows, that anon could’ve been a kid or young teen who legitimately wanted to be respectful to the ace/aro community and thought it best to ask someone they respected what their opinion was. This is exactly what I was afraid was going to start up. That the second somebody showed that they didn’t agree with the popular interpretation or, god forbid, admitted that they don’t know enough and wanted another opinion, that they’d get slammed and harassed, with accusations made about their character. A character that we can’t even truly know because this is the internet and it’s easy to read whatever you want into these things. You’re not “educating” anyone, you’re just making them not want to learn

And then that original blog had the gall to tell that anon that they didn’t see any reason why they’d be afraid of harassment. When that aggressive, uncalled for response was a response on their post

The best part? Not only did that anon directly cite a post that had bothered them in a later ask, but they admitted that they were ace and questioning aro and just didn’t see why that line made the interpretation canon

And the person who slammed them? Not aro/ace.

As far as I can tell, that anon never got an apology. The sidequest isn’t even out yet and the fandom has already devolved into people making assumptions and yelling over actual ace people over their own representation and refusing to see a problem with it. In fact, they think they’re in the right because quite a few popular blogs agree with them. That anon could’ve been a kid. Are we really going to scream at people who might be kids over a headcanon?

Not a single, goddamned person made any effort to say that that person was out of line. Not a single person saw a problem with that response. I’d say it was just that one person in the wrong, but I’ve seen equally harsh and aggressive responses by other people out there, too. This isn’t a situation of one person being an asshole (if it was I might’ve just called them out, specifically), they just happened to be the one to tip me over the edge

That’s what’s pissing me off about this situation. If someone is legitimately so scared to post something completely harmless that goes against the popular interpretation, then there is a problem. There is a problem, that shouldn’t be ignored just because you might disagree with that anon’s opinion. People don’t get that scared for no reason. It’s awful and immature to ignore the problem. To pretend it doesn’t exist, or to support the response they got and double down just to make yourself look right

People are really getting this awful over a side character in a mobile game. Just back up and really look at that. A side character. In a mobile game.

Some people need to grow up, and it sure ain’t that anon. And I hope that if that anon ever sees this, they know that they’ve got my support and I’m so sorry that some people think asserting that their headcanon is canon is more important than an actual, living person

As for the “it’s canon do we really have to spell it out for you?” argument, uhhh… YEAH. Not them, specifically, but the source material does. Otherwise it’s not CANON. Canon is reserved for things irrefutably stated in the text not “all possible (or your favorite) ways you could interpret lines in the text.” When it’s widely accepted, that’s fanon. Canon: Charlie states that he doesn’t have time for dating because he’s busy studying dragons. Fanon: Charlie is ace/aro. We also need to destroy this false equivalency that dating and romantic attraction are the same thing. It doesn’t help anybody on either side

And no joke, I read a novel one time and the main character was so obviously ace to me. The whole thing was written from his point of view, and he was always questioning why people found romance to be so important. He wasn’t into any of the girls that flirted with him, he kissed his male best friend and said he didn’t feel any sparks, he avoided romance of all kinds even while questioning his sexuality. Well, come the end of the book, he realizes that he was gay and in denial and VERY in love with his best friend. It was adorable when they got together

But at the same time, there was way more evidence to suggest that that character was ace than there is for Charlie, and yet canonically he was gay despite that. Sexuality is something very complex and personal and the discovery of it no less so, so yes, absolutely, I think it needs to be stated in some way to be canon. Things can’t just be implied to be considered canon. Your assumptions may very easily be wrong, or not what the author intended. And even things that the author intended can be considered non-canon. Death of the Author is a real thing, after all. If it’s not stated in the text, it’s not canonical

If Charlie had said “I’m not interested in romance and don’t know if I ever will be” or something similar, then yes I’d say they had a basis for their argument. But that’s not what he said. Charlie says… basically what I would have if someone had flirted with me in high school. My suspicion is that something in JC’s contract meant that they weren’t allowed to make Bill, Tonks, or Charlie romance options, so they just reworded JK’s old interview when writing his dialogue to be more relevant to the quest material

And people using that interview as “proof” is especially funny to me since she only said that after denying the possibility that he could be gay because Dumbledore already was. You’re all really expecting this woman whose reaction to being asked if a character being homosexual was a possible interpretation was “Uh, no, we already have one of those,” to go around and confirm him to belong to an even less represented group? And do it tastefully? And then have half of these people who take that as canon also state that they don’t generally consider things that JK reveals outside of the source to matter?

Christ, people, learn the difference between canon, fanon, and Word of God. And then stop ignoring or harassing people for rightly calling out that you’re misusing the terms

[dearartdirector]

How do you cope with feeling like you don't belong in the (fantasy)illustration industry? Do you think an illustrator has to be a certain kind of person to do well in this career? For context - I was the only Native American student in my graduating school, the only one at my in-house studio job, and I've never met another Native illustrator at the many conventions I've attended. I feel like I'm passed up for opportunities in both my studio/freelance career despite being at the level of my peers

Ok, this is a big question…that’s really 2 questions, and I want to address them separately, because they’re both really important: 1) What do you do when you were sure you wanted something, get some or all of the way there, and then don’t think you want it/can make it/are going to be comfortable there? And then 2) How do you know if you’re getting passed over for opportunities because of prejudice or because of your work?

1) First off, take a moment to congratulate yourself. You were one of the many thousands of kids that graduated art school with a goal — and one of the few who made it. I’m sure at some point in your life working at a studio in one of the fantasy art fields was a giant dream of yours. But it’s a lot of people’s dream and not a lot of people make it. I’m being serious, here! You are a full-time working artist! That’s a major accomplishment that most of the folks that read this blog are desperately trying to achieve. Well done. Don’t forget to appreciate how far you’ve come.

So you’re there…but it’s not the dream you thought it would be. Your question implies you’re struggling with issues regarding discrimination, and I’ll get to that next, but in general, getting to the goal doesn’t always look the way we thought it would. Sometimes what we thought of as our goal…is just a bend in the road and you take that turn you think is into the finish line but suddenly you see a whole new road ahead of you. Maybe the fantasy art world is not your ultimate destination. Maybe it’s just the furthest goal you could imagine when you were a less mature artist. Now that you know more, it might be time for new goals. Some illustrators move on to a fine art career. Some move out of studios into full time freelance. Some stay and become Art Directors and Project Leads. Every few years or so you need to assess and make new goals. Course correct. That’s not just an art thing, that’s a life thing. It can be a little depressing to realize that you’re never going to feel “done” or “set” or like you “made it” — but take some comfort in the understanding that it’s exactly that feeling of dissatisfaction that you share with the most successful artists (and people ) in the world. That’s what’s going to keep moving you forward to new heights, rather than settling.

It’s not a comfortable feeling, unfortunately, but you can learn to balance appreciation for where you are with the urge to move on to ever better goals. 

Just make sure you are choosing to move on rather than being forced out. Which brings us to question #2:

2) Sometimes it’s blatantly obvious that we’re being treated unfairly because of our race, sex, age, etc. And that is awful, and happens all the time. If you’re in a blatantly racist or sexist workplace, there might not be anything you can do but leave to further your career. But it doesn’t feel like that’s what you’re asking.  You’re not sure. You feel like you might be passed over for opportunities because of your race, but it doesn’t sound like something concrete you can put your finger on. So what do we do about the weird gray area when we know we’re not getting the same opportunities as others are but we can’t quite quantify it and we don’t know if it is our race, or sex, or something else? Could it be our work? Could it be our personality? Are other people just making better connections? Are other people handing in better work? It’s maddening to not know! I don’t want to out my secret identity by saying my gender or race or age, but I can tell you I’ve been in the same place. I was definitely passed over for opportunities and promotions…but was it my work? Or was it me as a person? And if it was me, was it something I could control, or not?

From the outside of this situation & not knowing anything about you or your work, there’s no way I can tell which it is. There’s been more than a few times I have talked to artists convinced they aren’t getting work because of a whole lot of reasons, but when I look at their portfolio I can tell immediately they’re not judging their own work clearly — they’re not at the level they think they are. To those folks I say, honestly, you have to get better at self-judgement. Until you do, ask your peers and better artists for honest and very specific feedback on everything until you can see exactly what they see.

But there are also a lot of artists I see who’s work is so good that I wonder why they haven’t gotten further in their career yet. Some of it is luck and timing but some of it is absolutely prejudice and/or misogyny. I recommend to those folks to do everything they can to get their ducks (and portfolio) in a row and start networking their way out of whatever studio they’re in and into one that has a better reputation for diversity and fair treatment. The good news is, you’re a working professional. It’s way easier to find a job when you already have one in the field. Try to reach out to peers for connections, keep your eye on job boards, get to professional events, seminars, and conventions, and get the hell out of there as soon as the opportunity comes.

You ask what kind of person you need to be to do well? In any kind of creative work, you need to be Good At What You Do, Easy to Work With, and On Time/Reliable. If you are those three things then you should excel. If you are those three things and you are not excelling, then it’s not you, it’s them. You may need to move, but I promise you not all studios in illustration/fantasy illustration are rotten. As I said above, choosing to revise your dreams is one thing — but you should never get chased away from your dreams. Get your networking in gear and find more welcoming ground, and your career will take off.

—Agent KillFee

[simonjadis]

I've always felt divided on shaming others for shipping "problematic ships." Don't get me wrong. I get the icky implications of Reylo but at the same time, well, I don't want to be that "No Fun Allowed" guy to teens and young adults who are just chilling. Sure, plenty of those shippers can be problematic (see how Finn is villainized unlike Kylo) but they don't speak for everyone.

That is super fair!

To be honest, I don’t really see Reylo as falling under the major “problematic” umbrellas. Imo, most Reylo shippers are thirsting after one or both parties, which is fine. My Star Wars OTP is Sheev/Vader. I don’t ship Reylo but it’s not a NOTP for me by any means. (I find Kylo and Snek disappointing as characters and as the only Dark Side representation in the series, but Kylo has nice hair and nicer tatas)

I remember seeing arguments after TFA came out where people equated Kylo’s (attempted!) mind-reading to sexual assault or to abuse. While it’s very fair to not want to ship someone with their abuser, I think that an enemy from the opposing faction is a very different concept, and that fantasy violence between enemies should not be misconstrued (remember the hubub about Mystique vs Apocalypse in 2016? That kind of sentiment is what made female superheroes relegated to having long-range energy powers and then passing out for decades. Let’s not go back to that).

I absolutely agree that it’s horrifying to see Finn, who has literally done nothing wrong, be villainized. It’s always a mistake to pretend that a rival ship is awful so that you can feel more secure about your own, but it’s extra bad when it’s the series’ first leading black character. That said, from my perception, I don’t think that those condemning Finn represent the majority of Reylos.

More generally, I think that what someone ships, in their imagination, only rarely reflects who they are as a person or their real-life values. It’s pretend.

While we’re right to judge books, films, shows, and games on things like representation, those pieces of media are not the same as fanfic, let alone smutfic. Fanworks are distinct in multiple ways.

Gonna get into this: cw for a reference to incest

For example, when Supernatural first launched, I watched the pilot live in 2005 (I am 1000 years old) and immediately shipped the only two actual characters, who both happened to be hot guys: Sam and Dean.

(Note: I don’t actually ship them anymore, but tbh I haven’t watched the show since Season 8 and even before that, I had grown to despise them both – one of the perils of writing a very long-running show with lots of personal drama is that characters do things that cannot be forgiven by some viewers. But that’s irrelevant.)

Only later would I learn that they were largely inspired and even named after Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty, two bisexual main characters from On The Road who were lovers, and who were based upon real men who were also lovers. (Which goes into part of why Supernatural is fucked up – notably, Castiel was also inspired by Constantine; another case of a straight character based upon a bi character, and that’s without getting into the issues with race, gender, and worldbuilding)

At that point, fandom culture (in my experience at the time) only treated incest as a squick – something that some people personally disliked, as one might be turned off by mpreg or watersports, etc.

Why wasn’t it a squick for me? Who knows tbh. I have zero brothers and I’m gay, so I never had to develop a feeling of aversion like that.That’s my best guess. I didn’t exactly fetishize those ships, but if there were only two hot dudes in a story, I didn’t think anything of it.

(Note: I think that incest ships may be specifically appealing to some fans because the bond between the characters is already secure? A similar appeal to the “found family” trope but the opposite thing. That’s just a theory)

However, upon coming to Tumblr, once I got over my culture shock of seeing people treat imaginary pairings as not squicks but moral indictments, I did come to understand where a lot of people are coming from with this!

For some people, it’s not just a personal squick, it’s an extra-strong aversion because they’re leery of incest being fetishized (for example, most real-life twins do not find twincest jokes funny!). More often, it’s people who were abused in real-world incest and cannot fathom why it would be someone’s kink or even factor into someone’s ship.

The solution to any sort of ship that’s going to remind someone of the worst moments of their lives is to do what I did in bold, above: use a content warning. If your fic contains sex abuse or incest or whatever, please tag your work. The same is true with fanart. If you want to share your other media with friends or the fandom at large but worry that your kinks may be off-putting, literally just make a second art/writing account or a separate blog to share those.

Don’t deliberately take people bag to the worst moments of their lives.

HOWEVER

We’ve seen a lot of people write about how they don’t want to see fandom treated like Catholicism (or, alternatively, as Protestantism; the word that they’re looking for is orthodoxy).

People have every right to ship whatever vile things they like. That goes for things that personally horrify or squick me. All that they need to do is be respectful in public spaces and to upload their work/commentary in the appropriate places with the appropriate tags, warnings, and readmores.

I think that people who don’t feel especially powerful or in control in life are the ones who get the biggest kick out of things like gatekeeping, exclusionist rhetoric, and being fandom police. Others are simply well-intentioned but became carried away. Not all antis are bad people, but it’s not a healthy thing about which to frame your personality and your online brand.

Your personal dislike of something doesn’t make you a morally superior person. As someone who hates mushrooms, I know that it’s tempting to believe otherwise, but it’s true.

And wielding social justice language as a cudgel, especially one that just happens to validate your opinions on a piece of fiction, is disingenuous and harmful in so many ways.

Ships (or kinks, etc) don’t equate to someone’s real-life values.

(Side note: anyone else notice that people who wouldn’t bat an eye at someone writing Age-Appropriate Wolf fanfic, when the characters are highschoolers but played by adults, are quick to condemn people who ship cartoon teens together, even though those teens are literally ink on paper and are absolutely voiced by and drawn like adults? I’m not sure what that’s all about, but it needs to stop. It’s literally just pretend!)

(Other side note: I understand that a lot of people are uncomfortable with shipping real people, even though said shipping has been a part of culture for millennia. My thoughts on that is: literally just act like an adult about it! Don’t tweet them fic or fanart, and don’t show it to them at conventions or whatever. The same thing goes for actors who play fictional characters. Talk show hosts should also maybe stop showing fanart for shock value but that’s a whole other conversation)

If you’ve gotten carried away with fandom-policing or something else, hey, that’s part of being a person. I’ve done it too! What matters is to be a better person. Making mistakes and becoming a better person are part of what it means to exist.