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[feyhunter78]

Among the Sun Ch 16

Description: Miguel and you attempt to become friends, so he introduces you to his daughter. Ch 16

Miguel breathes in the scent of your hair, buries his nose in it, basks in the feel of your form against his. He has missed you, missed your touch, your gaze, your voice directed towards him. He feels raw, cracked open and exposed, his flesh and secrets bare for you to pick through. But you treat him with such care, stitch up his wounds with a tender touch, your voice soothing as you do so.

Friends, you will attempt to speak to each other as friends once more. He is a man, half monster, ruler of the strongest empire, and yet he feels giddy at the prospect. It is shameful, but he cares not, he will do all you ask if it ensures you will no longer turn away from him.

“Miguel, are your eggs not to your liking?” You ask, your fork full of the very same food.

He shakes his head, leaving his thoughts and returning to his place across from you. “No, they are good, I was merely lost in thought.”

“Dare I ask what about?” You smile at him, gods he has missed your smile.

He answers your question with one of his own. “Do you wish to meet my daughter?”

You freeze, and he fears he has misspoken, perhaps it is too early.

“I do not wish to disappoint her.” You say quietly, laying your fork down.

“How could you disappoint her? My horizon, you are incapable of disappointing any living being.” The truth, his truth, rolls off his tongue easily, as easily as her newest title of adoration does.

My horizon, that is truly what you are. The one in which he finds rest, the one he seeks out each and every day, the one who his every actions begin and end with.

“You do not know that.” You say, a ravishingly beautiful look of bashfulness comes across your face.

“I do, she will adore you as I do.” Though, he will have to be sure to tell Gabi that she must not yet call you mother, for fear it will send you fleeing.

“If you are certain…” You say, twisting your cloth napkin in your hands.

“I am, we shall visit her after we have finished eating.”

He bids you to wait outside, explains he must prepare her for visitors, remind her to speak in the common tongue, so you are able to understand her.

Gabi lights up when he enters, tiny hands reaching out for him. “Papá! Papá! Is it time to play? Can we go see the horses?”

He scoops her into his arms, wiping a small bit of jam from her cheek. “Perhaps later, mija, first there is someone you must meet.”

“The princess?” Gabi asks, squirming in his arms, attempting to get down and dash to the door.

“Wait, wait, mija, we must speak.” He says gently.

She pouts at him but stops squirming.

“The princess is not like you and I; she scares more easily, so you must be gentle with her, she does not know she is your mamá yet, but she will soon.”

Gabi’s eyes water, and it is as if he has been stabbed, the knife plunged deep, twisted then pulled out slowly. “She does not want to be my mamá?”

“No, no, mija, she does, she simply does not remember.”

Gabi’s brows furrow, but her tears dry up. “Why?”

“Magic.”

“What kind?”

“I do not know.”

“You know all things, Papá.”

Miguel chuckles and brushes a kiss to her forehead. “I do not know this, but I swear to you, I will try to find an answer for you.”

She nods, and wraps her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of it. “Can I see her?”

“Yes, if you would like.” He rests his hand on her upper back, walking towards the door.

“Yes, please.” Gabi says, raising her head slightly, her tiny horns bumping against his chin.

Miguel bites back a wince and opens the door, beckoning you forward. “Y/N, meet my daughter, Princess Gabrielle of Nueva York.”

You smile softly, coming to stand on one side of Miguel, putting yourself in Gabi’s eyeline. “Good morning, princess.”

“Good morning.” Gabi mumbles, hiding her face in Miguel’s neck once more.

He laughs, rubbing her back reassuringly. “Why do you hide? I believed you wished to meet Princess Y/N.”

You make a cooing sound, and his heart flutters at the soft expression on your face.

“She is shy, forgive her.” Miguel says.

You shake your head, smiling. “No need, it can be quite frightening meeting new faces.”

“Gabi, do you wish to show y/n the gifts I brought you?” He asks, urging her to engage with you.

She perks up at the mention of her gifts and nods.

He lets her down, and she grabs your hand, leading you over to a large chest.

“Papá, open please.” Gabi says, waiting for him to open her toy chest.

Miguel does as she asks, then steps back and lets her present each and every toy to you, detailing its name, origin, and importance to her.

You listen patiently, asking questions that cause giggles to burst forth from his daughter, and soon you have Gabi in your arms, her eyes closed as she sleeps soundly on your shoulder.

“She is quite lovely, an intelligent girl.” You say, your voice soft as you sway back and forth with Gabi.

“Bright for her age, I have spared no expense in her education, she will be empress, after you.”

You smile and move towards Gabi’s bed, gently setting her down.

Once she has settled, you both exit her room, Miguel closing the door gently behind him.

“Do tell me if I have pushed too far.” He says, worry creeping in. Perhaps he has rushed this.

You shake your head, resting on hand on his bicep. “No, you have not. I enjoyed my time with her, and you.”

The tension in his body begins to slowly dissipate. “I am glad.”

You clasp your hands in front of you. “I have been meaning to ask you, regarding memories of mine that I have been attempting to piece together…”

“Please, ask, and I will attempt to answer to the best of my abilities.” He offers you his arm and leads you back towards your chambers. New chambers he has gifted you, proper ones, ones with no tunnels, most importantly.

“You said it was your mother who cursed you, but I do not remember ever hearing you speak of such things when we were younger.”

Miguel casts his eyes about the hall. “I did not wish to scare you, or perhaps lead you to believe that the curse could be broken.”

“The rumor was that the previous empress cursed you?”

“She attempted to, but my mother’s deal took precedence.”

You nod, and fall silent, continuing to walk alongside him.

“There is no cure, no reversal of the curse, a deal was struck while I was still in my mother’s womb, she wished to see her blood on the throne.”

You shiver. “To seek out such foul beings, to curse your child, I cannot imagine.”

“Neither can I.” He says, voice quiet, a hollow feeling in his chest.

“Where is your mother now?”

“Dead, the price of the curse.” He remembers the rasp of her breathing, the blackened skin, the poison coursing through her veins, it had haunted his dreams, the very image burned into his eyelids until you finally returned.

You stop short, turning on your heel, your eyes soft, brimming with sorrow. “Oh, Miguel, I am so sorry.”

He shakes his head, his hand coming up to cradle your cheek. “Do not be, she was a selfish woman, there was none to blame for her death but her.”

You mimic his movements, your palm cool against his cheek. “Still, grief is a specter that haunts all who live and love.”

He leans into your touch, eyes fluttering closed, his tail wrapping around your ankle, an unintentional action, but one you do not shun. “I do not fear specters, not while you are beside me.”

Your words are quiet, he nearly misses them, too absorbed in the feel of your skin against his. “Nor do I.”

TL: @not-aya, @belos-simp69, @deputy-videogamer, @sxnasbitch, @minimari415, @syndrlla97, @gejo333, @lady-necromancer, @zeyzeys-stuff, @tayleighuh, @loser-alert, @envyjmoney, @allysunny, @princessloveweird, @freehentai, @xlittlebubx-blog, @berry-potchy, @drefear, @jkthinkstoomuch, @ihateuguys, @yuuotosaka3, @queenofroses22, @ray-rook, @lollipopin, @faexsins, @drefear, @scorpihoooe

[socksoinabox]

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[dokifluffs]

Switched | Suna Rintarou

Pairing: Suna X Reader (gender neutral) 

Genre: fox! cuteeee flufff tehe 

Author’s Note: @utskushiwaarudo​ once said “what if READER is the baby fox and inarizaki (or only one to two of them) is being domestic and taking care of them and they’re like omg y/n careful not to spill the food *napkin wipe*” so here I am months later ah ha ha 

Gif from @rivaillerose​ 💛

Dark storm clouds gathered all over the sky, not letting a single ray of sunlight in on what could’ve been what of the most beautiful days of the year

Suna laid on his stomach, his back slowly rising and falling, arms curled beneath the pillow his face was nuzzled into

He woke from his deep slumber when a loud boom sounded through the sky, making the ground vibrate

The blanket slid down his body, sliding off to reveal his toned bare back as he rose from the deep slumber he was immersed in

Your own mind began to pick up in activity as you felt the bed ship as Suna woke

Then it occurred to you how last night was the full moon

Today would be the day Suna would be in his little fox form, and it was honestly one of your favorite days of the month since he was especially cuddly

The way he would nuzzle into your lap as he slept all day

“Huh? How am I still-“ Suna looked at his very human hands, his brown hair disheveled from sleep until he saw you move as you woke

“Oh god…” Suna’s eyes went wide as he stared at you

Your body was as small as a newborn baby as you stretched sleepily, your bushy tail lazily wagging side to side, which he assumed you didn’t notice since you looked up to him with a fondness he normally woke up to

“Y/N… Don’t freak out..” His voice was low but you were more confused, especially how he scooped you into your arms, bringing you to the bathroom

Bright sunlight shined in through the skylight as he held you in his arms, standing the two of you in front of the mirror

You looked up to him numerous times as his eyes stayed on you through the mirror

Your pointed ears, dark brown fur that matched Suna’s hair, a bushy tail dangling over his elbow

You couldn’t believe your eyes as you panicked, swarming rapidly in his arms

You couldn’t even look at yourself in disbelief

“No, no, no, why- how?” You thought as you whined as you moved frantically in his arms, he was losing control

“Y/N, wait, you’re gonna- fall…” He winced hearing your loud cry as your body fell from his arms onto the cold tiled ground, scratches littering his bare arms and torso

A sore, aching pain waved through your body as your heart pounded rapidly in your, now little, chest

You had never been a fox before, and he still couldn’t wrap his head around as to why this happened, but you were uncoordinated with your body

Suna recalled the numerous stories and memories of his childhood when he first changed

His legs wobbled

He didn’t know what to do with his tail

He didn’t know how to do anything and all he could do was watch as his being was in a fox’s body and it was after a year

And now this was happening to you

But you were so shaken up, Suna’s heart dropped seeing the fear in your eyes

“Y/N, calm- Stop you’re going to hurt yourself,” He raised his voice higher as you whined, your feet slipping over the tiled floor as you tried to run away as if running could bring your body back to normal

“Don’t move, I got you, alright?” He knelt down, the sun shining from behind his body through the window, he seemed so ethereal through your eyes as he inched his way closer to you

You were shaking, back arched, tail curled in between your legs, claws sliding over the tiled floor as Suna spoke to you

It was so weird since you could understand him yet he couldn’t understand you

“I’m going to pick you up okay?”

You took deep breaths as your heart pounded in your chest

He carefully lifted you into his arms as a puppy, your nails just digging into his arms slightly out of fear but it wasn’t a pain he couldn’t handle

You whimpered as he brought you back to bed, sitting you carefully in his lap as he sat with his legs crossed

“You’ve been the one taking care of me for years whenever I had to change, so now it’s my turn. You’re going to be okay, alright? I won’t let anything happen to you,” he promised as you looked up to him

The way you looked at him pulled at his heart

You were too adorable in this form

Your ears back, eyes wide and glistening and watering

“Don’t cry, Y/N,” he cracked a rare smile as he pat your head, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had formed in your eyes

“You’ll be alright,” he leaned down, mumbling to your warm, fuzzy head, a rare gesture from Suna since he had always been one to internalize his thoughts and emotions

Rarely one to be the one to show his affection first, only sometimes in private, yet he did it right now as easy as breathing

“I got you,” Suna mumbled

Your heart melted at his words as you whimpered his love

You couldn’t tell if it was now that you were in this new fox form or what but you couldn’t help but let your heart melt at Suna

He sat you on the corner of the bed where you could still see him as he brushed his teeth and washed his face, finally putting a shirt on afterward

You felt so stiff as you sat there, not wanting to move, not wanting to rip the sheets or to fall or anything

You didn’t want to do anything except switch back to normal

After getting dressed and ready for the day, Suna lifted you into his arms like a child as he stroked his hand down your back side

“Is this what it feels like?” You thought to yourself as you let out a sigh, relaxing against his arms and touch, your muscles following his touch as you melted 

“it feels so... good, no wonder he falls asleep so fast when I do it,” you yawned, your tongue automatically licking your own nose after you did so, something you’ve always seen other animals, and Suna, do and now that it was your turn, it felt so strangely natural 

He carried you down the stairs in his arms as the rain bounced off the glass of the skylight that illuminated the stairwell just enough for the stairs to be visible 

You could sort of feel suna’s skin but all you could really feel was a thin constant layer of warmth, and warmer areas where his body was pressed to you 

“I’ll make breakfast,” he said as he stood in the entrance to the kitchen, humming to himself in thought 

“where can I put them...” Suna stood there for almost a whole minute as you just stayed still in his arms, not knowing what to do since you couldn’t really do anything anyways 

even moving around in his grasp was nerve wracking 

you did not need to fall or break anything or hurt yourself 

And suna knew this too as he thought

you were more than capable of being by yourself since you could handle yourself but he also wanted to keep an eye on you while he was in the kitchen but leaving you on the floor would be dirty and cold 

but leaving you on a chair would be scary if you were to fall and hurt yourself 

“Y/N, I’m going to leave you on the couch and then I’ll bring it over when it’s all ready, alright?”

He turned back, headed toward the living room toward the couches 

He leaned over, reaching his arms to put you down 

“It’s okay, you won’t hurt yourself at this height,” he smiled as your paws wrapped around his forearms, tail curling around as well. “I got you.” 

You slowly let go, trusting Suna as he set you down onto the plush cushion 

“You’re gonna be alright,” he patted your head as you sat on the couch 

It felt so weird 

like, you had control over your legs and arms like normal but sitting and standing and walking, it all felt so strange yet natural at the same time 

And this was what Suna and the other inariaki team went through once a month 

Suna stood in the kitchen, thinking about what he could possibly make with his skills 

but now that he actually thought about it, it was always you who really fed him aside from Osamu 

All he could think of to do was the standard cereal with milk 

Suna wasn’t as skilled as you to do fancy things like make eggs and pancakes and such 

He carried over two bowls of cereal with milm over to the living room, setting one on the coffee table that was just tall enough to be the same level as the couch cushion you were on 

He sat besides you as he ate a big of his cereal before setting his bowl down and watched you 

“How am I supposed to eat this?” You pondered as you stared at the cereal before you 

You licked up the milk like a cat but you wanted the actual cereal before it got too soggy 

You obviously couldn’t use your spoon

you ended up sticking your.. snout.. into the bowl, the cold milk stinging your nose but you were able to eat the cereal 

it was good and even your tail wagged but it wasn;t the cleanest 

“careful, Y/N,” Suna laughed as he plucked a few tissues, wiping your chin as well as the spilt milk around the bowl 

Suna did as he said he would and watched you for the rest of the day, taking care of you

although he did have to call osamu on how to make some things but aside from that, it was fine 

it was a very new experience for the both of you 

but it showed you such a new side of Suna he never really expressed before  

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

Tags (let me know if you wanna be tagged or removed for all my haikyuu posts): @makeusfreefromthisfandom @yams046 @sunboikyo00  @kara-grayson04  @fortheloveofbakugo @tsumtsumsemi @1-800-wholesome @yamagucci @realityisoftendisapointing @plantisnotplant @pink-panda-pancakes @differentballooncollection @osamusamusamu@therainroguefanfiction @euphorihan @turquoiselace @macaronnv  @oxmaddy @mrkoala4prsdnt @curiouslilbeast @plantisnotplant@therestless101 @abcdaichi @oyasenpai @kaaidalupita @lovinnoya @wisepandaslimeland @killuaking @kattykurr @bbymilkbread @tsumtsumland @suunikimchi @woah-there-cowboy-or-cowgirl @amandahh626 @nabisonyeo94 @wntrmn @dai-tsukki-desu @peteunderoos @ohyoumakemelive @aka-a-shii @shinhiromi @wompwomphq @lollypop-lam @isentsworld @blue-melody @u-wakatoshii @moondriplets @lovinnoya @yuueisteria @humanitysbiggestsimp @cjphoenix135 @inarizaki-captain @closetfurrytsukishima @chibichab @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @kuroosbixh @lavearchives @sweet-sour-devil-ish @daichis-kitty @creepyproxies @itsmarziapei @skyh20 @yehetstudies @that-chick212 @proherotheflamehashira @celestair @katiea03 @manga-only @chesirekittycat @ilovecheese08 @amy-yurima @realityisabitch-blr @suga-tofu @ushislittlewife @nabisonyeo94  @aaprilshowers @emotional-ayato @to-move-on-means-to-grow @kellesvt @haikyuu-galaxy @8-eight-8 @xiaoqiji @japanesevenom @cemeiia @pantherhappy @sassyglassesbunny @devilgirlcrybabiey  @ushijimacentral​ @manjiroarchiviste​ @clydesterminal  asd

[stopeatingwhales]

the 1995 brits (pt. 2) x damon albarn & liam gallagher

ok this has nothing to do with the brits bc now its about glastonbury 1995 i just didn't know whether i should rename it lmaoo okay enjoy x

Pairing: 1995 damon albarn & liam gallagher x reader

Warnings: none at all

Word count: 2.495

part one

༉‧₊˚✧

The Glastonbury festival was always one of the best gatherings for music every year. All the best acts in the music would all be invited to perform, and it was amazing. It formed a unity, a connection between the fans and the artists, the creators and the consumers, morphing an atmosphere which only gentrified the solidarity and wholeness the nation felt when they all held adoration to the same album, same songs, singing the choruses from their hearts, with their whole being. It was a spiritual connection with the audience; you weren’t singing to them, you were singing with them. Nothing got as good as Glastonbury - a concert size any larger you would begin to feel detached with the audience - and boy was it a good feeling to be invited this year. Our band had blown up massively, and to be able to perform on the main stage, celebrating the summer and the true joys that music is able to provide and attain, is more than just doing your part. It’s a humbling experience; the lyrics that may have seemingly been written down as a daft thought on the back of a napkin whilst you were sitting having a coffee, relaxing in the tedious cycle that is life, being chanted back to you, shows the true connection those can have with simple melodies and lyrics. Once it’s released in any format, the music, the lyrics, the melodies, they aren’t yours; just as a book, once released, is not the authors’ anymore. It possesses the ownership of the public, that who purchases it, wears it out, listens to the songs back to back to memorise every single lyric and adlib. The songs become the nation's songs, they become the mere link to a dozen memories of each and every person, which they would take to their grave, remembering the good times, and potentially the bad. The true power of music is that it forms a connection - not just with the artist, but with yourself. You can relate to whatever has been said, you can understand yourself just that bit more which allows you to grow as a person, and mature and better into the person that you were set out to be.

I was standing backstage, currently watching the performance lead by Blur, trying to hide from any form of authority who would know that I wasn’t supposed to be back here yet. My band was on in a few hours, so I wasn’t permitted backstage, the only people allowed being the group that was on next. As I admired the performance being put on by Damon and the rest of the band, mumbling lyrics every now and again of songs that I had known from their albums, I felt an arm snake its way around my waist, the grip of the person’s palm squeezing my hip slightly. “Now how come I haven’t seen your pretty face in a while?” said Liam, who was grinning at me widely.

Since the Brit awards, I forced myself to stop partying as much as I used to, due to the addiction that had been stemming from my consistent use of drugs and alcohol. It began to take its toll on me entirely, and I hated the lifestyle that I had started to inhabit. Sex, booze, drugs... they all seem so wonderful, and seem to be fundamental elements that could provide an enjoyable time, don't they? But with repetitive use of such recreational activities, it would not only initiate the worst hangovers, but would also form a pit of longing in the body, endured with your attempt to fill it up with all the illegal pharmaceuticals to make you feel whole again, but of course, the happiness only lasts for a short while before you’re passed out on a couch, waking up at 5 in the afternoon with a raging headache and the only access to pain medication being a five minute walk to the nearest corner shop because you had finished it all. And to your surprise, the pit only got more deep and paining. It was ironic; the drugs designed for jubilation, euphoria, fulfillment, started to make me feel worse than I had already done previously. “I’ve just been caught up with working on the new album, so I’ve been too focused on that to be going out like I used to,” I replied, a grin masked over my lips. It was far from a lie; my band were currently working on our third album, and it had been quite an interesting experience as we were reinventing our sound, though wasn’t the main reason I had avoided all clubs in sight. “You miss me?”

“Course I do, you’re the only girl I know that’ll go as hard as the rest of the lads,” a frown painted over his face as he looked down on me. “It’s hot, y’know.”

I scoffed, my smile still evident on my face. “Oh Liam, you’re going to make me blush!” I joked, placing my arm around his waist. We both carried on watching the performance being led by Damon, who currently had the crowd screaming over the top of their heads at Girls and Boys. Oasis were on after - even these concerts were chipping in on the mess of their feud. “You nervous?”

“Me? Nervous? Never.” Liam replied, snarling at my question.

“Really?” I asked, diverting my stare to look up at Liam, my eyebrows raised in a sarcastic manner. Even though it wasn’t evident from his facial expression, everybody would be nervous. Especially if you were performing on the main stage in a few minutes.

“Okay, maybe a little bit.” He mumbled, staring at Damon with a look of disgust on his face.

“Knew it,” I grinned, allowing my hand to run up and down his back as a form of comfort to soothe his nerves. The tight grip he kept consistent on my waist proved that he felt tense. “You’ll be amazing, you always are.”

“You hitting on me?” he quickly fired back, cocking his head to the side as he admired me, his gaze flicking to my lips every now and again.

“Of course I am.” I sarcastically replied, rolling my eyes at Liam’s child-like characteristics. By now Blur had finished their set, leaving the crowd screaming and waving things in the air as a form of goodbye. Me and Liam stayed put in our place as the four boys waltzed off the stage, me congratulating them as they walked off one by one. Damon was the last to walk off, and as he began strolling off the stage proudly, our eyes connected, causing me to dart my stare away from his robust glare that had reflected off of his orbs. Knowing of his distaste in Liam, I brushed it off immediately, remembering the pettiness of their argument the last time we had all been together at the Brits. I heard Liam utter some profanity under his breath after Damon walked past us, but I chose not to question him on it, full-well knowing it was either wanker or cunt.

When the rest of the band turned up and Oasis were on cue to go on, Liam quickly detached himself from our embrace, pressing his lips to my cheek, grinning at me widely. “Don’t miss me too much!” he shouted as he walked onto the stage, causing the crowd to erupt into a fit from the mere sight of the band getting themselves ready - Liam just standing there cooly, picking up the tambourine left on the floor for him. I marvelled at the band as they began their set, instantly grinning as soon as Liam began singing the lyrics to Rock n Roll star. Let’s hope he’s not walking off stage this time.

I continued to concentrate on their performance, oftentimes laughing as the crowd progressively got more and more rowdy, screaming the lyrics as Liam sang them, as if Noel’s backing vocals weren’t enough to keep the song going to its full potential. “I wonder when you’re going to realise that you like me.” I heard a voice mutter from behind, causing me to abruptly turn my head, even though I knew exactly who it was. My eyes were greeted with the sight of Damon, a small smirk illustrated on his lips as he glued his eyes on mine - just like he had done before when he walked past me and Liam.

“I’m sorry?” I scoffed, raising my eyebrows at his clearly egotistical assumption, though I couldn’t help but resist a smile to contract on my cheeks as I gazed at him. Much like me and Liam, we also hadn’t spoken since the Brit awards, and it would’ve been a lie if I hadn’t wanted to talk to him again. Despite the fact that there was a certain tension between us that, from each meeting, seemed to intensify, and was something we were both clearly aware of, I ignored it entirely - even if my bandmates had teased me religiously every time they saw me have an encounter with him. Go out with him already! You two are constantly flirting!

Moving away from where I was standing, I made my way over to him to be able to talk over the loud music seeping out of the speakers, instead of shouting at one another. We then exited the backstage area together, welcoming us to the view of a plain grassland where a couple trailers had been parked, both of our bands included. Eventually, we walked to one of the random trailers, assuming it was his one, and stood against the shiny metal impediment as we shared a cigarette.

“Don’t act like it’s not true,” he replied casually, him reciprocating my grin as we began to walk further into the backstage space. “I saw the way you were eyeing me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I replied, attempting to act oblivious towards his statement. I could feel him gawking, focused on me as I admired the blooming sunlight that casted out towards us, the light so bright that it caused my eyes to tear up slightly. The music was still very much audible, and the screams of the many thousands jammed together in the mosh pit were still extremely loud.

“Oh, but you do.” he mumbled, causing me to shift my view to look at him. He had now fixated his stare onto the sun, the cigarette softly placed between his lips as he inhaled quickly before taking it out and allowing the built-up smoke from his lungs to escape into the atmosphere. Dropping the tobacco roll onto the ground, he placed his foot over it in order to burn it out, then turning his head to fixate his gaze onto mine. A brief moment of silence passed as we admired one another, the atmosphere carrying an element of apprehension as to what was about to occur between us. Through my peripheral I saw moving his body slightly to come closer to mine as he lifted his back off the metal surface and stood in front of me, my gaze not daring to leave him. Our eyes maintained strong eye contact as I felt my cheeks began to heat up furiously, followed by my attempt on telling myself that it was simply due to the sun’s radiance that my face held such warmth, almost as if to doubt the feelings, the tensions that had constantly piled up every time we had seen one another.

Our noses touched as our faces then became inches apart, my eyes focused on Damon, who kept darting his eyes to my lips every few seconds. Tilting his head slightly, he leaned his body forward, softly pressing his lips onto mine. We stood there for a few seconds, to allow the moment to truly sink in. His hands were gently placed on my waist as I placed them on his arms, like a form of support to allow myself to stay upright. After a while, I snaked my hands around his neck in order to deepen the kiss, the warmth of his lips colliding against mine sending shocks all around my body - the moment didn’t feel real at all. It was as if this entire time of me knowing of him, interacting with him, being in his presence, I had attempted to avoid myself catching feelings, not getting myself engraved in a situation with another musician, but due to my mind forcing such a hindrance, it became an inevitability - I caught feelings for Damon Albarn.

As we pulled away to catch our breaths, Damon leaned back, sneaking his arms around my waist as he looked down on me. “You liked that.”

“Shut up.”

“Can’t wait for Liam to find out about this.” he grinned, playing with strands of my hair as I glared at him. I knew he was aware of the glare I was giving him, because he seemingly began to grin even wider.

“He won’t, because you’re not going to tell him.” I replied bluntly, placing my hands on his chest as I began to draw little circles over his shirt. It felt so surreal, yet so normal - there was a certain amenity shared between us proving that what was felt in the past was indeed real, and indeed reciprocated.

“Always knew you’d give in one day.” he mumbled, a devilish grin painted on his lips.

“Really?” I scoffed. “Even when the tabloids were convinced me and Gallagher were an item?” I asked, staring straight into his eyes. I noticed him frown slightly after the question left my mouth, my lips attempting to form into a smile as I broke off his smug persona.

“Well it looks like you’ve left Liam to be with me.” he grinned, our eyes connecting once again. I took his hand away from my hair to interlace it with mine, holding it close to my chest for Damon to be able to feel my heartbeat. Even though anybody could have opened their trailer door and witnessed us in such an affectionate state, none of that seemingly mattered to either one of us. Everything that had occurred between me and Damon felt so perfect, to the point that I would want somebody to come and witness the true beauty of this moment. There was a strong feeling in my chest that I wanted him to feel, to understand, that what was occurring between us truly meant something, and wasn’t just a silly little play to mess with my feelings.

“Liam’s not that bad you know.”

“I’m just joking, love, don’t worry.” he mumbled, bringing our interlaced hands to his face to allow him to kiss the back of my hand. “You wanna go get something to eat before you head on?”

“Sure, I’d love to.” I said, forcing us to detach our bodies from our embrace and walk over to one of the food stalls, hand in hand.

[leetotters]

i'm feeling sad today:( can you write something with peter anything idc what it is just need it to be fluffy ilysm💕

note: aw bae i hope it gets better, sending you all my love! i hope this is fluffy enough for you anon<3

warnings: none ig

peter parker x stark!reader

summary: star wars marathon with your boyfriend peter parker and star wars themed treats odered by reader's father, tony stark.

The theater room was pitch black, the light illuminating from the opening credits of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back being the only form of light in the room, the aroma of butter popcorn deliciously smelt as it popped in the popcorn machine built in by the snack area in the corner of the room.

You snuggled your head further into Peter's warm lap while his fingers gently combed through your hair, both your eyes focused on the big screen displaying the movie. "Hey Pete" You quietly spoke, raising your head from the comfortable spot.

Peter hummed, tearing his gaze away from the screen, and resting his hand on your thigh when you sat up. "Something wrong love" He asked, his chocolate eyes looking into your own awaiting for your reply.

"No, I told dad that we were watching Star Wars and he well" You cleared your throat, "He made Happy order some titbits" You checked your phone when the notification bell went off. "And it looks like they're here" You smiled up at him, slipping the fluffy blanket off your lap. "I'll be right back"

Peter only nodded his head, slightly confused with the idea of Mr. Stark buying treats for a simple movie marathon, even though the theater room already had a built in snack area. But he obviously wouldn't question his mentor. Instead, he paused the movie, refilling his popcorn cup with buttery popcorn waiting for you to come back.

You kicked the door wide open, your arms full with containers of all sort of bites and foods which your dad ordered. "Petey need some help" You called out, making your boyfriend look your way, his movements were quick seeing your struggle with the boxes.

"What the hell" Peter uttered, resting the containers on a near beanbag. "He went a little overboard" Peter joked, opening one of the boxes.

"Wait those are cool" You pointed at the fruit lightsaber stick Peter held up. You tore the other box open, revealing Chewbacca and princess Leia cookies. "Check these out"

Peter bit into the cookie, a satisfied moan of appeal slipping his lips. "Did you just moan" You laughed out loud, slapping your hand against your mouth when Peter's eye bulged realizing what sound he just made.

"Save it for the bedroom Pete" You quipped, returning to opening the other three boxes, one consisted of colored pretzel lightsabers while the other had Yoda matcha croissants. "These look delicious" You grabbed the croissant biting the green delicacy. You shook your head, feeding Peter a small piece.

"That's fucking bomb" His words muffled because of his full mouth. "One more" He pulled the last box on the reclining chair, curiously looking at the label before opening the box. "These are by far the coolest" He gasped, picking up the BB-8 cake balls.

"Dad really outdid himself huh" You smiled, draping the cover over your lap, and stealthily stealing the cake ball from Peter's hand earning a grumble from the brown headed boy.

"Oh hush Pete, play the movie" You grinned, laying your head on his shoulder, pecking the space in between his neck and earlobe. Smiling softly when he kissed your forehead resuming the movie. "Oh my gosh Luke" You playfully awed knowing how it annoyed the boy beside you.

"Oh please Stark, he's not that good looking" Peter rolled his eyes, munching aggressively on the Leia cookie.

"Sure Pete" You tapped his tummy, dusting your hands on a napkin before returning your head on your previous spot from earlier, Peter's lap. "Luke's got nothing on my spider boyfriend" You teased, shifting when Peter lightly pinched you, a chuckle leaving his lips.

"Damn right" He replied, brushing his hands through your hair again, nibbling on a Yoda croissant.

[yakultberry]

✪ summary: it's no surprise that doyoung spoils you on your birthday, but somehow, he still takes your breath away. ✪ pairing: law student!doyoung x reader ✪ genre(s): fluff, college au ✪ word count: 1.5k words

✪ a/n: another birthday fic i wrote, this time for my queen @secndlife !! love you, karol 💖 or should i say horanghae ADJFLAJSDLJF anyway, this is just a little snippet of a college au that we sometimes indulge ourselves with hehehe enjoy!

“You have something on your lips, baby.”

You look across the small cafe table at your boyfriend, a small smile spreading on your icing-covered lips. “Well, maybe you should help me clean it up. It’s my birthday after all.”

Doyoung, used to your antics, just rolls his eyes as he grabs a napkin and reaches over to wipe at your mouth. “Ah, so you’re doing this on purpose,” he says with a raised eyebrow, his tone stern. But you don’t miss the subtle way his lips curl up at the corners or the way his eyes instantly soften when they meet yours.

“Maybe,” you hum playfully. Not quite satisfied with his reaction, you press on. “I thought you might have kissed it off, though. It’s more romantic, you know.”

He lets out a huff, scrunching his nose at you. “Oh, so now you’re teasing me!” Even after dating for over a year, Doyoung still can’t help feeling flustered whenever you bat your lashes at him (though he definitely exaggerates his reactions just to see you giggle like you are now). Again, he fails to hide the small smile on his own face. “Just eat the rest of your cake, we have to go soon!”

“Fine, I guess the kisses can wait until later,” you say through your laughter, only to double down when Doyoung lets out another exasperated sound. To everyone else, Doyoung is a put-together, intelligent pre-law student, expertly juggling his studies, vice president duties at the fraternity, and his personal life (that’s you). Those who know Doyoung less, might call him uptight, maybe even overbearing-- it is a common misconception of pre-law majors after all.

To you though, you know that underneath his cool, type A exterior, there is a soft, nurturing side to your boyfriend. As hard as he tried to keep up his facade, the boy never really stood a chance against you; and now, all his love simply flows out through each of his actions, constantly enveloping you in a warmth you’ve never felt before. Still, you can’t help but poke fun at him at times, loving the blush that would creep on his cheeks whenever he tried too hard to hide his affection for you.

“Should I let them know that we’re on our way back now?” you ask as Doyoung finishes up paying the bill.

“Wait no, don’t!”

Just as you pick up your phone, Doyoung places a hand over yours, his eyes wide. Your own narrow at him slowly. “...Why not?” When your dear boyfriend tries to only respond with a smile that more resembles a grimace, it is suddenly your turn to be stern. “Baby.”

“Well, I might have told Johnny and Lily that this was going to be a surprise party. Yuta and Daisy, too.”

You blink. “Doyoung, you do know that to throw a surprise party, the person has to be, you know, surprised. Also, you know I hate surprises!”

“Well yes, that’s why I told you that we’re having a party,” Doyoung explains. He takes your hand in his as you exit the cafe, simply walking up the street to get to your apartment. “I just thought it would be funny to tell Johnny and Lily that they had to go to the apartment early to decorate it before you arrive or something.”

“Oh my god.” The both of you meet eyes with mutual shit-eating grins. For the past summer, the two of you had been persistently trying to set up your two friends to confess their (very obvious) feelings for each other. As the months go on, one of your forms of entertainment has been creating situations where they could be alone. “How long have they been there for?”

“Maybe two hours?”

“Nooo, that’s probably the longest yet!” you cackle heartily, squeezing his hand in yours out of habit. “Oh god, this is why I love you.”

“I know, I know, I’m a genius,” Doyoung sing-songs, chuckling beside you.

“Wait, but if we walk in and find them making out on the couch, I will lowkey fight you,” you deadpan, only half joking. As much as you wanted the two to finally get together, you did not want to see them sucking face in your home. Where you live.

“You promise?”

“Shut up!” Your laughter echoes against the tall buildings lining the street.

The late afternoon sun streams between the gaps of the skyscrapers and washes the apples of your smiling cheeks in a warm summer glow. Although the fall semester has yet to begin, there are many young people bustling about, and your shoulder brushes against Doyoung’s as you leisurely stroll up the sidewalk. It’s moments like these that make him stop and remember how lucky he is to have someone as radiant as you.

He lifts your clasped hands to press a soft kiss to your knuckles. “I love you too, by the way.”

“Hmm, you better.”

It doesn’t take much longer for you to reach your apartment, the both of you excitedly talking about your plans for the evening up until you get on the elevator.

“I texted them we’re on the way up, but Yuta said they’re not ready,” Doyoung laughs.

“It’s fine, I already know anyway!” you say, impatient to start the night’s festivities already. According to Doyoung, he had even bought a table at one of the swankiest clubs in the city, and you did not plan on walking in even slightly sober.

“No but,” Doyoung whispers as you approach the door of your apartment. “You still have to act surprised when we go in, okay? They’ll kill me if they find out.”

“Ugh, fine!”

You can faintly hear frantic whispers and a small commotion behind your apartment door when you reach it, even making out a ‘Johnny, you can’t fit there!’ before everything seems to go still. Doyoung opens the door for you after a moment, and there is a short moment of silence before the lights flash on and streamers are popped.

“SURPRISE!” your friends cheer in unison. You place a hand over your chest in your best attempt to look shocked, though a genuine smile does spread on your face when you see them all there to celebrate with you

“Haha, say hi to the camera!” Johnny, a tall guy with a knack for photography, yells, capturing the exact moment you walk in.

Before you can say anything, your best friends, Lily and Daisy, pull you further into the apartment, which is elaborately decorated with balloons and streamers. There is even a shiny inflated ‘26’ hung on the wall. You can’t help but look at your friends with a pout. “You guys did all of this?”

“Of course we did, bestie!” Lily beams at you, clinging onto your arm. “But thank god you’re here, I was alone with Johnny for so long because Yuta and Daisy got here late.” You laugh at the dirty look she shoots over at Daisy, who simply shrugs.

“We were picking up the drinks and got a little distracted when we were on the way over!”

“Oh right, distracted--”

“Anyway, we brought tequila!” Daisy chirps, flashing the unopened bottle to you. You grin back. Your friends really know you. “Let’s get this party started!”

The pre-game starts off strong with everyone taking shots at your insistence. About three shots later, everyone is in a good mood to start getting ready to leave for the club (except Lily, who seems to already be there from the way she is dancing). Johnny attempts to copy her moves, causing Yuta and Daisy to fall over each other as they laugh loudly. You’re about to join the impromptu dance floor when you feel a hand slip into yours.

You barely have time to smile at Doyoung before he twirls you around, leaving you giggling and breathless. Then, without a word, he guides you out onto the balcony, where he pulls you into his arms. There is something sobering about the soft night air, which isn’t quite the vibe you’re going for. Your laugh cuts through the stillness of the atmosphere. “Doyoung, what are you--”

The way he is looking at you with so much affection makes your heart do a somersault in your chest. “Happy birthday, baby,” he whispers in that delicate, melodic voice of his. Suddenly, he pulls away so that you see that he is holding a large, flat case. He hands it to you, eyes sparkling excitedly. Your eyes, on the other hand, suddenly prick with several tears.

“Wh-what is this?”

“A surprise. Open it!”

With shaky hands, you open the case to reveal a beautiful, gold necklace with a simple diamond-encrusted pendant. You gasp. “Doyoung, you--” your voice gets caught in your throat. “You got this for me? It’s gorgeous, but you really sh-shouldn’t have. I--”

“Yes, I should have,” he laughs, seeing how emotional you’ve gotten. Doyoung pulls you into his embrace and presses a soft kiss to your temple before looking down to meet your eyes. “Do you like it?”

“I love it,” you whisper hoarsely, leaning up to peck him on the lips. You let out a sniffle. “You spoil me.”

“Of course I do, you’re my baby,” he says matter-of-factly. You giggle through your tears and hug him tighter.

And as beautiful as the necklace is, you can’t help but feel that being loved by Kim Doyoung is the best surprise present that life has given you.

[obiwanobi]

I was asked to write angst with a happy ending for the Sith Senator Kenobi AU where Obi-Wan believes Anakin has been killed during a mission, so here’s 2.6k of sadness featuring Obi-Wan and Ahsoka before I finish the happy ending part: 

Ahsoka can only remember a few details from the funeral of her master.

In her mind, the memory has the fuzziness of an unpleasant dream, and not the sharpness of an event that happened only yesterday. 

Surprisingly, it was Master Windu who led the ceremony with a gentle voice.  Master Yoda gave a speech, but she can't recall a word of it.  She remembers Senator Amidala trying to blink away her tears.  She remembers Master Jinn's heavy hand on her shoulder when the heat of the flames started to warm her face. She remembers Rex, still as a statue from beginning to end. She remembers Senator Kenobi being the first to leave without a word. 

It took four hours for the pyre to burn to ashes. 

___________________________________

"Oh. Hello, young one." 

Senator Kenobi's tone is surprised, but his face is as impassive as ever.

It reminds her of that one time her master said that he would have made an excellent Jedi, and Kenobi immediately proved him wrong, dramatically grimacing at the thought and making Anakin burst into laughter. 

There's no grimace on Kenobi's face right now. His hair and beard are perfectly combed and trimmed, and there isn't one wrinkle on his pristine clothes.  

It makes the deep shadows under his eyes stand out even more. 

"Senator," Ahsoka greets him with a polite bow. "Would you mind if I come in?" 

Kenobi blinks twice before taking a step back. "Please."

She walks into his apartment a bit rigidly, hands clutched around the box she brought, and seats on the couch he points at her. 

If he knew she was here, Master Jinn would disapprove. Her grandmaster has never liked the senator, partially due to his charming public persona which only echoes in a bizarre void in the Force —"some plants are easier to detect that him", she once heard Master Jinn say,— and partially because of his close relationship with her master. 

Ahsoka herself has never known what to make of Senator Kenobi.

Stuck between pretending to ignore the looks he used to share with her master and making sarcastic remarks about it to fluster them both, it now leaves her in an awkward relationship she can't define without mourning for the missing link between them.

Anxiety starts nagging at her as she looks at the box in her hands. Maybe she should have waited. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

"Caf? Tea?" Kenobi asks from the kitchen. 

"Whatever you're having is fine, thanks." 

She hears the cabinet doors opening and closing, water boiling for a few seconds, and then the senator comes back with a teapot and cups on a tray. "I hope you like black tea, then. I never drink caf." 

Ahsoka isn't sure if she's more surprised by a senator not having any personal employee to assist him, or the fact that she can clearly see what looks like a very expansive caf machine on the kitchen counter. 

"How did you know where to find me?" 

"I commed your office first," she admits, refocusing her attention on him. "Your assistant said you were working from home lately, and gave me your address."

Kenobi raises his eyebrows. "She did? Well, that's a surprise. She usually bites people who try to see me without an appointment or a life-or-death crisis. Preferably one with multiple dead people already." 

"Hum, yes, she— She almost brushed me off, but then I told her that I needed to give you something. From my master." 

To his credit, Kenobi, teapot in hand, freezes for only half a second. Then, pointedly not looking at her, starts pouring tea again. 

On the comm, Kenobi's assistant also paused when Ahsoka told her that, before grumbling 'it can't make it worse anyway' and then giving strict instructions about when was the best time to come see him. 

"I see."

She puts the box next to her steaming cup, and stops her hand just before opening it. "There were some... important chips and datapads from previous and ongoing missions that he had in his room, and I was the one who looked for it. So I cleaned a few drawers."

Letting someone else disturbs Anakin's bedroom has felt wrong. Even if she knows that it was only selfishness that pushed her to volunteer to look through his room, she's still glad she did.

No one needs to know how long she spent seating in the middle of Anakin's bedroom, trying to wrap his lingering Force signature around her. Or that it took three hours before she could touch anything in it without feeling like she was breaking one last invisible connection to her master. 

"And I found this box." she taps on it lightly. "This is... I think— I think you should have it." 

"What’s in the box, Padawan Tano?" Kenobi asks behind his cup. 

The proof of my master's complete disregard for the Jedi Code, she wants to say. Ahsoka bites her lip.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter anymore. 

"Mostly datachips with holos on it, a few old tickets for a race, a password-protected datapad and some personal belongings."

"And what that has to do with me?" 

Ahsoka frowns. 

Kenobi doesn't sound like the conversation interests him. His hand moves, and for a second Ahsoka thinks he's going for the box, but instead, he takes the recipient filled with honey and put a small spoon of it in his cup before leaning back on the couch. 

His indifferent expression is starting to grate on her nerves. 

"I took a look at the holos. My master is on it, but you're also there. With him sometimes. Most of them are holoimages, but there are a few longer recordings with sound." Ahsoka has only watched one, but it's still hard to reconcile the man fondly rolling his eyes and telling Anakin behind the holocamera to please, dear, don't waste it on me, with the impassive man with the blank stare in front of her. "I didn't watch all of them, but I think it's safe to say that he wouldn't have wanted anyone else to find them."

"I see," Kenobi says distractingly, stirring his tea. 

Ahsoka's hand is starting to turn into a fist in her lap.

"Do you? Do you really? Do you know about the Jedi Code, Senator Kenobi?" She asks, suddenly opening the box herself and getting one of the datachips and a small holoprojector out.  

"I know enough." 

"Because this," she continues, pushing the chip in it and opening the first holos, "this isn't really approved by the Code. Do you know what the Code recommends, regarding attachment, Senator? To material things? To people?"

Did you love him? she wants to ask, as a holo of Anakin, dressed in light civilian clothes, smiles and makes a rapid 'come one' hand gesture to the person behind the camera. Did you love him as much as he did?  

She presses the next button rapidly, going through a few holos of sunbathed landscapes and olive trees, and then Anakin is holding a glass of wine in one, tasting it in a second, and making a ridiculous face in the third. There's a lot of Kenobi after that, also dressed in lighter clothes than usual, with shades on. Him trying to read a sign in a foreign language but clearly failing, him looking at some old and decrepit ruins in wonder, him with a face covered in sunscreen, sending an unamused look above his glasses at the camera.

Ahsoka's irritation makes her forget to be embarrassed when she goes through some of the holos where they're pressed against each other in such an intimate way that it feels like she's holding their honeymoon holoalbum, but it doesn't stop her from wanting to cry when she catches the tenderness in Anakin's eyes in every holo where he's looking at Kenobi.

It's only when she reaches the one taken at a weird angle where Anakin is lying in the shades of a tree, asleep, his face nuzzled against a red beard, that a hand stops her before she can keep pressing next.

She turns her head toward Kenobi, ready to push him again to get a reaction, but he’s not looking at her. His gaze is fixed on the holo and his face is making a bizarre expression she doesn't recognise. Then, he says, softly, "I told him not to keep any of it."

And then she gasps for air. 

The Force... the Force feels like a void.

Not a blank space, or the faint static she's used to next to Kenobi, but a true void. She chokes a bit on the emptiness of it all, almost sick to her stomach by the vertigo effect. It feels like she's standing near the edge of a hungry precipice, just like what she felt when Master Jinn told her that her master was dead, after she's stopped saying that it wasn't possible and he was wrong wrong wrong. She felt like falling then, endlessly falling and never hitting the ground, and she feels like falling now. Headfirst into the void. A long, endless fall through nothingness.

The void feels like it could swallow her whole and leaves nothing behind. No memory or emotion or connection. 

The void is lonely, and aching, and lonely.

And lonely.

And lonely. 

Then the sound of shattered porcelain resonates in a disturbing echo in her ears and everything stops. 

Ahsoka gasps again —did she stop breathing at one point?— and pants heavily, hands shaking on her thighs.

She violently throws herself against the couch, as if the void is still here at her feet, ready to devour her.  

"That's quite enough of that for now."

Disoriented, it takes a moment before she remembers where she is. Kenobi has already turned off the holoprojector and put it back in the box when she feels capable of forming coherent sentences again. A cup of tea is pushed under her nose, and she automatically takes it. It burns her tongue a bit. She's so glad to feel something so simple and physical that she keeps drinking it anyway. 

Kenobi is standing up now, napkins in hand but not moving. He's looking down at something, stuck still in an aborted move, and Ahsoka realises that there is an ugly stain on his tunic, right on his chest, and that fragments of porcelain are lying all over the floor around him.

She didn't see how Kenobi broke the teapot, but it must have been quite a fall to scatter all these hundreds of tiny little pieces around him. On the white rug at his feet, a large brown stain is expanding slowly but surely through the intricate design of the textile. 

He couldn't have made a bigger mess on purpose. 

"You shouldn't stay here," he tells her, but his eyes stay locked on the liquid still dripping from the edge of the table. "You could hurt yourself." 

"I— yes. Sorry." 

She doesn't know what she's apologising for. She's tense, unsettled, and doesn't dare reach through the Force to find any kind of balance. She doesn't understand what the kriff just happened, but she's not in the mood to look for answers right now.

She just wants to be home. She just wants her master. She just wants to sleep.  

Box under her arm, she takes a breath and stands up, careful not to walk on any fragments of broken porcelain.

"I should go anyway."

"Would you mind letting me see one last thing before you leave?" 

She blinks, surprised. "From... the box?" 

"Yes." 

She hesitates a second, still not sure if this was a mistake or not. But who else could she share it with?  

Kenobi seems like he's giving up on cleaning for now, and dries his hands with a napkin as he watches her put the box on the counter. He takes a moment to look inside this time, before grabbing the datapad and turning it on.

"It's password-protected," she says, just to break the tense silence. "I've tried a few things to bypass it but nothing works." 

"Why do you think it's about me, then?" 

"If you try enough wrong words, a message will pop up to give you a hint." Kenobi sends her a questioning look, but she just shrugs. "Try something. Anything."

"Oh," he says, voice suddenly soft, after putting Anakin's name and surname. "It says it's for my birthday." 

"Yep." 

"'Something that could make a politician cry'?", he reads out loud, intrigued. "What is he talking about? I told him enough times that politicians don't have souls, or—"

His mouth opens in a silent 'oh'. He turns to look at her pensively, and right when she's about to ask him if he's thinking of something, starts tapping on the keyboard. 

The pad beeps happily. 

"Of course," he whispers. "Of course." 

Ahsoka can see his fingers swiping on the pad a few times but she's not at the right angle to see what he's actually looking at.

It would have bothered earlier. Now, her head feels heavy and her mind clouded, and she just wants to go home. The only reason she's not leaving right now is the glint of something in Kenobi's eyes. 

Maybe it's just the reflection of the blue light on the screen. Maybe he's trying not to laugh in front of her at whatever her master had planned for his birthday. 

Maybe he's trying not to cry. 

He turns off the datapad suddenly, straightening up and offering a polite smile that doesn't reach his eyes. The glint is gone. 

"If this is alright with you, Padawan Tano, I would like to keep that box." 

You don’t deserve it, a voice in her mind says. 

But she knows that the box isn't for her. She's a Jedi, and these are just material possessions. Holoimages and a few useless trinkets.

Her master isn't in that box. Her master is in the Force, with her, always. 

She's not certain she should trust Kenobi, but her master did. So she chooses to believe. 

"Okay," she murmurs. "Just... just keep it safe." 

"I will." 

There is no way to know if he means it, but she's definitely not in the mood to reach through the Force and check right now.

"I should go." She turns towards the door, ready to go home and sleep for fourteen hours.  

"Ahsoka."

The surprise of hearing her name in his mouth for the first time stops her hand on the door handle. She's so tired that she barely turns her head sideways, waiting for whatever insipid parting words he will offer her.  

"Anakin was very proud of you. He couldn't stop talking about how great you were going to be as a knight."

Her heart misses a beat. Or three. 

Don't say his name, she wants to say, we managed to ignore it the entire time, why did you have to say his name? But her throat only seems to be able to produce an uncontrollable choked up sound. She can't blink fast enough to see through her tears.

After so long looking for a hint of human feelings in Kenobi, she almost wishes his voice wasn't so gentle right now.

"Please make sure to do all you can to make it true."

She only allows herself to cry once the door slams shut behind her. 

[babytaes]

All Night Long

➳ 𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: “you forgot about your daughter’s school project until the last minute, what happens when you join her partner’s father on a 11 PM Walmart run

❥  𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐:  seungcheol x female reader

❥  𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎:  fluff

❥  𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 3K

❥   𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:  just a cute seungcheol, we need more father content.

↪  𝚊/𝚗: It has beeeenn a while since I posted something like this. I wanted to finish at least 3 members before I post this whole series.... but I can’t keep stalling. The first of many series from here on out... Enjoy and much love- BT

➳  part of the song series

↳  Does it ever drive you crazy.

Just how fast the night changes?

Your daughter leaped across the parking lot, humming a melody in her head. You grinned as you squeezed her hand and walked up to the car door. Walking over to the side door you opened it, allowing her to get into her car seat.

You tossed your things in the front seat and climbed in the car while she fixed herself in her seat and buckled up for the journey. It was ice cream Thursday for both of you, so it was a special day.

“Mommy... Mommy, are we still getting ice cream today?” she inquired, her feet swung wildly in anticipation. You looked at her radiant face and gazed deep into her delicate soul, admiring both the good and the bad in her.

As you gazed at her, time seemed to stand still for a moment; your life with your daughter had been remarkable, and she was your pride and joy. Your life would be pointless without her. It was difficult for both of you to navigate this life without a strong father figure beside you, but she has been a trooper the entire time.

You looked up at the love of your life as he held her in his arms and asked, "Isn't she beautiful?" As he clutched her delicate fingers, a tear welled up in his eyes.

“I can't believe we made this little booger; I can't wait to see you grow up, my little girl,” you turned to the nurse, laughing at the sight in front of you.

“Is it okay if he stays in here with me for a while?” the nurse nodded her head as she walked out of the bed, dimming the lights. He then gently climbed onto the bed, holding both of his loves in his arms.

“You and our little creation, I love you.”

You paused and swept a tear that had escaped your dry eyes. You quickly turned around and composed yourself before answering your daughter's question.

Even though your daughter was only 5 years old she had the intuition of some wise old mentor, which came in hand occasionally. She extended her neck to the side and looked over to see what was going on.

Within minutes she was on your lap wiping your tears as you hugged her tightly. She gleaned at you and brushed your stray hairs forming around your forehead.

“Are you okay, mommy? We don't have to get ice cream if you don't feel well.” You chuckled as she leaned in close and poked your necklace, a habit she enjoys.

You took her hands in yours and kissed them as you straightened her clothes, trying to relax. You haven't had a panic attack in a long time, due to your busy schedules, and life hasn't given you a break.

“I'm fine, sweetie; I'm just a little tired, but we'll certainly get some ice cream. Okay,” As she looked at you, you peered into her eyes for a reaction. She lifted an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side.

“You know lying is bad, mommy.” She got up from your lap and returned to her car seat, where she strapped herself in and grabbed her toy while humming away, oblivious to your presence.

You started the car thinking about how much she resembles you. Justtt a little too much.

“It's up to you whether you want to go home first or go get our ice cream.” You raised your head and checked the rearview mirror.

“Let's go home and get ready, then we'll go get some ice cream,” 

You laughed as you pulled out from the parking lot on your way home.

(On the other side of the parking lot happening at the same time)

“How was school, buddy? Suengcheol took his son's hand in his as he opened the car door and helped Youngsoon into his car seat. He jumped into the driver's seat and started the car to warm it up. He then turned around and awaited his reply.

“Do you mind if we try something different today? You know my friend Hyejin, she and her mother go out for ice cream every Thursday,” Youngsoon said as he put his toys down. I really want to do something similar. “Do you think we can?”

He glanced at his watch and noted the time, nodded, and turned around to proceed to put the car in drive.

“How about we go get milkshakes like we used to when mom-.” He gulped as he remembered what he had said before restating it, “Yeah bud, we should go get milkshakes like we used to.”

As he pulled out of the parking lot and drove to their favorite restaurant, Youngsoon grinned and went back to playing with his toys.

“Sweetie, are you nearly ready? We've got to get going. It's a school night, so we can't stay out late.” For the third time today, she skipped down the stairs, reached for your hand, and walked with you toward the car.

As you both yelled the lyrics of your favorite song together on the way to the ice cream store, it became exciting and enjoyable. When you and Hyejin went out on the town, it was always a blast. Whatever the case might be, it was certain to be entertaining.

You pulled into the parking lot, parked your car, and unlocked the door, remembering to lock it again when Hyejin exited.

“Would you like your stroller or would you like to walk today?” As she figured out what she wanted, she looked around and pondered. She shook her head and crossed her arms, expressing surprise.

“Now that I'm a big girl, I think I'll be fine.” You smiled as you walked into the store. While we walked past the bright shops and tourist attractions, you saw her eyes widen.

You don't get much time with your daughter, so you want to make the most of it when you do. It was difficult at times to support her because you missed the other half of the support needed to truly make the best life possible for her. But you did your best to make her happy about what you had.

You were working two jobs at the time and rent was increasing as the days passed on.

“Are we going out for ice cream today, Mommy?” She raised her eyes to you as you rubbed your neck to relieve the cramp. As you squeezed her back, you shed a tear.

“Not this week, love; next week, perhaps.” Ms. Tzuyu is approaching the driveway, so mommy has to go to work. Make sure you behave and finish your work; can you do that for me?”

She gave you a slight smile as you embraced her and kissed her on the cheek as you hurried out the door, greeting Tzuyu as you pulled off and drove to work.

You wiped a tear thinking about how not even next week, you could get that ice cream for her. Bills were piling up and you had to prioritize. That is what you had to do not for yourself, but for her.

“So, do you want your usual flavor or would you like to try something new?” She peered through the window and investigated each flavor. For her, it was more of a new experience to see how many different flavors she could try.

Such an adventurous spirit.

“Mommy, I'd like to try a different flavor. “There's one named Rocky Road,” She grinned as she gazed up at you with her lovely almond-shaped eyes. You smiled and ordered her a small cone and an ice tea for you. On the way out of the shop, you grabbed some napkins.

You looked up as her hand swung in the air, admiring the bright buildings flecked with various artwork and taking in the fresh air as the cool breeze rushed through the city. It was fun, and you were thankfu-

“Oh no, I am so sorry let me help you.” You hadn't known it, but you'd unintentionally stumbled into a grown man and spilled your drink on him.

Your daughter laughed as she approached the stranger to embrace him, but you pulled her back and held her behind you before she could reach him. You felt her hand on your side, but you dismissed it because you wanted to see who it was.

“Please accept my sincere apologies; my daughter is extremely extroverted. I'm sorry, but do I know you.” As he spoke, a small voice leaped out from behind the figure and began giggling at your daughter.

“Hello, Ms., my name is Youngsoon, and Hyejin is my class. And this is my daddy.” He pointed up to the good-looking man if I say so myself. You drew Hyejin from behind you while covering your mouth with your hand.

When the man saw the kids hugging and talking about their days, he laughed and reached out his hand.

“Hello, my name is Seungcheol, and I believe we are meeting for the first time. It's wonderful to finally meet the girl my son keeps bringing up.”

While you sat down to meet with his son, you shook his hand and gave him a napkin to clean himself up. You stood up and held your daughter's hand while you waited to see what would happen.

Your daughter squeezed your hand and begged you to pay attention to her. She whispered in your ear as you bent forward and smiled at her appeal.

Youngsoon had the same facial expression as your daughter. You exchanged a smile and cocked your heads at Seungcheol.

“Would it be okay if we hung out with them today?” You grinned when you looked at her pouty face and saw Youngsoon doing the same to Seungcheol.

“If it's fine with you guys, I don't mind at all. We were on our way to the park.” Both of the kids let out a scream as they marched forward side by side, giggling and laughing as children do.

“Forgive me, but I'm so embarrassed that I have no idea who you guys are. My daughter is always talking about your son. I find it amusing that we are meeting up after such a long time.” He laughs as you both settled on a park bench, still in view of your children.

“It's the same here; with Hyejin, there's something different every day. Did you guys get ice cream today as well? He told me that you guys do this thing every Thursday.” As you took in his features, you peered into his eyes.

As his curly locks swept over his warm-toned skin, his plump lips accentuated his wide almond-shaped eyes. As you thought about him, a smirk emerged on your lips, and you lost focus in his eyes.

He is a father, his wife must be lucky.

As you and Seungcheol spoke about life and how it was impacting both of you, time flew by as you heard the laughter and cries of the numerous children in the park.

You'd discovered that he doesn't have a wife anymore. She died when youngsoon was just two years old due to a variety of health issues. You're not sure whether it was destiny or just a random ice cream day, but it seemed like you and he was communicating on a deeper level that only single parents could comprehend as the conversations progressed.

However, as time passed, the sun began to set earlier than usual, and the shops began to close. Your heart ached as it yearned for this, someone with whom you could communicate with.

“Daddy, my feet are hurting and I'm getting tired.” You laughed at his answer because Hyejin was in the same boat as him, dozing off by your side. You gently picked her up and held her in your arms while reaching out to Youngsoon with your free arm.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Youngsoon, as well as your father.” You extended your hand to him, and he firmly shook it. Seungcheol then walked over to where their cars were parked, holding his son in his arms.

You couldn't see it as you both walked over in silence, but you could sense the tension in the air, and something had to be said.

“Why don-“

“We shoul-“

As you slid your sleepy kids into the car seat, you exchanged glances and chuckled. As soon as you've finished, you move over to the driver seat overlooking the door waiting for him to turn around. 

What can I say, we weren't exactly friends, but we weren't strangers either. Is it appropriate for me to invite him over for a play date? Is that something that kids still have? Why are you so anxious?

He cocked his head and chuckled at your strange head motions, and a laugh escaped his lips as he waved his hand in front of you.

As you swore internally, a wave of humiliation rushed over your face.

“Before I say something stupid, it was wonderful to meet you, as well as your son, who has had a huge influence on my daughter's life. I'm glad she's kept a smile on her face the whole time. It's difficult when, well, you know. I'd like to hang out with you again... I mean with our kids if you're not busy."

Great job Y/N

He smirked and reached for his phone, which he unlocked and handed to you, motioning you to enter your number.

You checked the time as you exchanged numbers and quickly made a mental note that it was way past Hyejin's bedtime. As you hopped into your car, mentally cursing, you waved a short wave.

Why does it feel like I’m a teenager again?

  You struggled to get all of your belongings into the house whilst looking for the light switch. A light turned on as you yelled at the intruder who did it. A tall figure emerged from the darkness, her brows scrunched as she took some items from your hands.

“You scared me, girl. “What are you doing here?” You noticed Hyejin's droopy neck as she slept through the loud introduction, a trait she inherited from you. Tzuyu smirked and slid Hyejin out of your arms as she put her drink down.

“I hope you didn't forget, Hyejin's project is due tomorrow, and you were supposed to get the materials for it.” A hand flew across your face as you gasped and rushed to the calendar, where you saw her project.

“I thought it was next week, and Hyejin would have told me?” When you realized the time, a sigh escaped your lips; all you wanted to do was take a nice bath and soak away all your worries.

Such a great mom move Y/N.

Tzuyu lightly checked to see if Hyejin was awake, her eyes fluttered as she stretched and rubbed her eyes. Her gaze darted around the room, searching for you. Her eyes fell on your worried expression.

“Are you going to tuck me into bed, Mommy?” You walked up the stairs with Tzuyu, pinching her cheek and telling her to brush her teeth and use the bathroom while you helped her get ready for bed.

A text message came through your phone as you waited for her on the bed; stunned, you quickly opened and read the message.

“I'm not sure whether you're awake or not. However, sleepy Youngsoon just told me that he has a project due tomorrow and that he needs some supplies. Unfortunately, all of the good supplies have run out at my house. Do you want to join me on this late-night trip to Walmart if you're up for it?”

As you answered quickly, a cheerful chuckle rang through your throat.

“So it wasn't just me; my lovely babysitter had just told me that I needed to pick up some supplies. Having a companion would make the journey seem shorter. I'll be leaving in ten minutes to meet you there.”

A more vivacious girl jumped into bed and rushed to your side, hugging your arm and waiting for you to move. It was a family tradition to have a kiss on the forehead and tuck covers, as well as a bedtime story if you were lucky. You had never failed to do that one job for her, no matter what the circumstances were. Not only did it make her happy, but it also brought you closer together.

“I don't want to hurry, but mommy needs to run to the store for a few supplies for your project. That is why Ms. Tzuyu is staying with you until I return. Okay, could you please be a good girl tonight and not cause her any problems?” She kissed your lips with a giggle before returning to her side of the bed and nestling into Tzuyu's embrace.

“I love you, mommy, and goodnight.” You returned the kiss and said a soft "I love you" as I closed the door behind you, you dimmed the lights as you rushed to your car.

When you both died of laughter, it felt like the world was spinning. You nabbed a cart and headed down the school aisle, debating on whether a hot dog counts as a sandwich.

Seungcheol grabbed some glue from the shelf and tossed it into the cart, laughing as he whizzed down the aisle.

“A hot dog is a sandwich because it has bread and meat.” As you walked down the aisle, collecting materials as you went, you shook your head as you reached the next aisle, searching for construction paper.

“You are aware that a sandwich is made up of three parts: two sides of bread and the filling. There can't be just one side of bread. It's just basic math.” He turned around and waved his hand in displeasure as he shook his head.

As you observed his behavior, you were reminded of the days when you and your husband would go out on spontaneous dates once you were done with work. You yearned for him and the memories he brought with him.

“I'll get the drinks while you go get the popcorn on the next aisle down. Shall we go with tipsy or chill?” As you contemplated what you wanted, he leaned over the shopping cart.

When you looked at his face, a grin crept across your lips. “Why don't we do both? We haven't had much time for ourselves in a while.” “I'm cool with it.”

He took your hand in his and yelled at the top of his lungs as he moved the cart to the next aisle.

“Tipsy it Itsssssss.”

Seungcheol approached you and tapped your shoulder, curious about what had happened.

“Hey, are you good? You've been zoning out for a while.” As you looked down the empty aisle, he cocked his head and waited for your answer.

As you regained awareness, he shook your arms as you rubbed the back of your neck. As he observed your movements, he gave you a thumbs up. A light smile formed on your mouth as you followed him in silence to the checkout line.

As you took out your card and began putting your things on the belt aimlessly, you were already calculating how much it would cost. He shifted his hand around you before you could pay. As you scoffed at him, he grinned and swiped his card.

“Why di-”

“Before you protest, consider it a gift for joining me on this late-night adventure. Don't be worried.” You slapped his arm with a playful slap as you gathered the rest of the bags and loaded them into the carts as you both walked slowly toward your cars.

As you both loaded your bags into the vehicle, the walk to the car was excruciating. You didn't want the night to end, and you didn't know how to keep it going.

You’re acting like a child Y/N, you’re a grown-ass woman!

“So-”

“Do-”

You were the one who spoke first, as you laughed.

“We need to stop doing that, also I'm not sure if you'll be available next week.” But, if you want to invite Youngsoon over for a play date or something similar. I could call my babysitter?”

You fiddled with your hands as you leaned on your foot to relieve some tension, as he nodded his head with a grin on his face.

“I would love that, you know, some single-parent quality time together. Text me the details, and we should definitely do something without the kids!” 

“Definitely that's a must.” You were reminded of what your daughter said a long time ago as you stood there watching him.

“I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Mommy.”

Something inside of you began to open up as if the grooves had restocked with enough oil to run again. As you both walked back to your car door, something blossomed in your chest.

You'd be happy to spend the rest of your life with him.

You chuckled as you waved goodbye to him for the second time today, thinking of all the possibilities of this unexpected run-in.

What a great way to finish the day.

➳ Navigate to the Maze

[lovecinnatwist]

How would you go about writing omega Jason with Alpha Dick?

Man oh man- Omega!Jason with Alpha!Dick is always such a bop.

It depends really! I see so many fics with insecure Jason thinking Dick is too good for him which is nice and definitely in character- but sometimes it makes me crave the other end of the spectrum?

Like a confident, sexy Jason who teases Dick with his scent and body until the alpha wants to implode? I also like the idea of Jason being raised by an Omeganist!Alfred and Omega!Talia to be badass, sassy and sensual. Bras? Suppressants? Painful heats?

Not for Jason Todd!

He embraces his Omega-ninity and it wreaks havoc on Dick's hormones. Dick being a more conservative alpha would definitely find himself overwhelmed but enamored!

Here's something playful with a clumsy Alpha!Dick and confident pack Omega!Jason!

Tiddies Out - JayDick

Tags: Omegaverse, AlphaDick, OmegaJason, Pining, Crack treated Seriously, Lactating, Heat Cycles, Omega Tim, Alpha Bruce, Pup Damian- Just Dick being an obvious pining idiot and Jason enjoying his reactions-

Jason doesn’t mind being an omega. How could he when it’s one of the superior options? While Alpha’s often lost themselves to aggression during rutting season and beta’s scrambled to placate them- Omega’s got to sit back and watch the show.

Being the object of an alpha’s fascination has many perks. First off? The gifts. Lavish offerings make their way to him with little to no effort. Weaponry from Talia, Expensive silks and poisons from Ras, The latest tech from Tim and Bruce. It's an endless parade really. One of the few things that make this more bearable to put up with.

He’s a heavy milker. Always has been.

Maybe it’s from growing up in an abusive household. Perhaps it's in response to being closer to the pack’s pups or hell, maybe his body is just gearing up for the imaginary children it wants to have. Regardless of the reason Jason’s tits are aching.

They seem extra tender tonight. The cold dingy air does little to ease the tension under his armor. He shifts and the way his pads squish under bullet proof chest plates is a pain. He curses and tries to ignore it. Something that’s getting harder as the cotton under his clothing reaches its limit. Tsk- 4 hours his ass. It’s barely been 2 and he’s about to make a mess of his gear.

As annoying as it is. He reluctantly reaches into his kit to get two fresh napkins to change. Other omega’s might be shy to do this in public but Jason has always been more practical about it. Breasts are breasts, no reason to get all crazy about it.

Though it probably didn’t hurt that Jason himself had a nice rack. He knows what the other heroes say about him behind his back. His figure has never been more appreciated than now in his prime. The dip in the pit did wonders at helping him bulk up. Thighs thick, emphasising his trim waist. In the throws of season his ample chest gives him an illusion of an hourglass figure. While some people would say omega’s should be small and dainty, he has yet to meet an alpha or beta who can resist him.

Not to be vain but he is nothing else if not attractive.

He’s got his top half way off when the sound of a near violent thud echoes out in the darkness. The hiss of pain gives away the alpha before his scent can. Jason doesn’t even turn in his direction. Instead he keeps his attention on the sopping pads under the compression shirt. He hisses as the gentle adhesive pulls from his throbbing mamories.

“ You alright over there goldie? “

He gets a groan for an answer. A nicer person would have maybe let the other man know about his current state of undress. Too bad that Jason isn’t exactly known for being ‘nice’. He carefully wraps up one cotton cloth. Once he’s clean and dry, he applies another. It’s quick and easy work. The slight chill does wonders against his flush skin.

The worn form of Nightwing crawls from the side of the building. There’s a pretty good bruise on his cheek Jason is 90% sure that the acrobat had a less than graceful landing. He’s always been weird about nudity. Even back when they mostly had the same parts. He rolls his eyes as the man pointedly tries not to look at him. He can’t help scoffing at the false modesty.

“ Hood. You shouldn’t do this out in the open like this. Anyone could see you. “

Everyone knows Jason is an omega, by extension that means Red Hood. It’s one of the reasons why his territory is so well protected. No one wants to cross an omega. While the fangs in their mouths were now more for scruffing kits, no one had forgotten the days when they were for hunting prey and tearing out throats.

He would flash his at Dick but he’s wearing his helmet and would probably just looks stupid. He manages to get the other pad off. It’s absolutely drenched. His left teet is definitely working harder than the right. The sheer weight of the cotton makes a loud squelch as it hits the little plastic bag at his feet.

He snorts. “ And you know what they’d say N? Best tits in Gotham. “

The alpha’s face is anything but amused. The furrow of his brow and spike in his scent is territorial and aggressive. It’s laughable really considering the fact that between the two of them, Jason is actually the one in charge of protecting the pack. It’s all a part of being the lead omega.

Whether Bruce or Dick want to accept it or not.

“ Stop objectifying yourself like that. “

Jason enjoys the feeling of being clean and dry as he gets the other cotton adhesive on. It’s a welcome sensation. Especially when he straightens his armor and it’s a little less chafing and tight.

“ It’s only objectication if I say I’m only a nice pair of tits Wing. Luckily I’ve got a nice set of thighs too.“

He pays Dick no mind as he stands and packs away his used pads to be thrown away later. He might have to call it an early night at the rate. With the way fall is quickly approaching his heat is just dying to make an appearance. Perhaps he could get away with offering himself to the foster system. With the amount of milk he’s making now it would be better for the pups who need it to benefit instead of it all going to the trash.

“ Hood! “ The sound is a scandalized growl. It’s funny enough that Jason throws his head back and laughs free and clear. With the voice modulator it’s mean and menacing. Amusement bubbles in his chest. He can’t help taking off his helmet so that Dick can take in just how wide his smile is.

“ Sorry Wing. I’m a pretty girl. What can I say? “

Talia is nothing but progressive. While many omega’s in the west suffer from low self esteem. Jason learned his worth quickly. Confidence is beauty. The more one loves themselves, adores them selves and takes time to know themselves the more they blossom. It’s a deep healing that not everyone gets to understand. A privilege for a few chosen omegas. He cocks his head and smiles and see’s the exact moment Dick starts losing his footing in the conversation.

The alpha is tongue tied.

“ That’s not what I mean and you know it Hood. “

Jason shrugs. Once he’s got his stuff away he’s ready to run roofs and actually get some work done.

“ Sorry Goldie. It’s 2021 and haven’t you heard? Red Hood says free the tiddies. “

He doesn’t wait for a response as he makes a running start towards the edge of the building. It’s always such a thrill. He tucks a bit to clear the gap. The moment his legs touch the concrete the sound is silent despite the bulk of his frame. Dick calls after him but he loses the words in the wind. Laughter bubbles up in his throat. He wouldn’t be a prude just because his family wanted to be sexually repressed more than they wanted to be happy.

Dick doesn’t try to catch up with him and Jason finishes the night patrolling with Tim and Stephanie.

He manages to get an entire three hours out of the next set of pads. Instead of changing out in the open he accepts Alfred’s invitation back at the manor for a warm bath and cookies. Tim stares at his chest while Jason gets himself decent.

Tim is a gorgeous omega, with a slender petite frame and porcelain doll-like features. He always seems to get shy in the presence of Jason’s more unconventional curves.

Jason knows what low self esteem looks like. The younger omega wears it no matter how much bravo he tries to exude. Jason brushes against him briefly and lightly. His usual fragrance is marshmellowy from the sweetness of milk that clings to it.

There’s an immediate blush as Tim ducks away. Clearly he’s embarrassed from being caught. Though in reality where is the shame in a little boob appreciation amongst omegas?

“ You know Timmy, you gotta stop wearing bras. Maybe if you show a glimpse of those pretty pink nips Kon would take the hint. “

Tim goes red from his ears to his chest. Jason can practically see the steam coming from his ears. He slaps his hands over his petite breast quick enough to hurt. Jason wants to let him scamper off but instead he presses into his space even more. Long gone is the perfume of pup, now that Tim has come fully into his omega hood. Every day his scent leans more and more towards caramel and sugar.

“ Uhg you’re such a jerk. “

Tim tries to dodge out of his hold but Jason gets him anyway. The omega yelps and Jason ducks him right between each swollen peck. They are red and tender from patrol. He hasn’t put on new pads yet so some milk beads at his nipples. The little shriek Tim lets out is hilarious.

“ You’re going to get milk in my hair! Jason stop- God you suck- “

The omega fights and Jason lets him go before the two actually get into it. It’s light and playful. Well for the most part. Tim gets some milk on his face and the teen honest to God looks terrified. He curses all the way to the shower stall to take another quick bath all while Jason cackles at his misfortune.

“ I swear to God, when I start milking I'm going to get you back Ten fold! “

Jason rolls his eyes. As if.The last thing Jason’s afraid of is milk. It’s a natural thing. God everyone in this pack is repressed.

“ We’ll see about that Timberella! “

The omega hisses and Jason has to hold back a laugh as he leaves the shower. He’s so light and high from the interaction that he completely for gos a shirt. Not that he really wants to wear one. Not with how milk heavy and tender his chest is. Alfred’s always been pretty cool about it too. Being from the 60’s and all that jazz.

Jason maybe gets half way through the cave before the sound of metal crashing draws his attention. Dick walks cleanly into one of the metal tables in the middle of the lab space, knocking over tools and gadgets.

Bruce is thoroughly unimpressed from where he’s helping Damian stretch before bed. He’s in half of his costume, suppressors and scent blockers gone. The sheer disappointment in Damian’s gaze is astonishing.

“ Richard, please control yourself. “

The alpha looks like a deer caught in headlights, his mortification absolutely palpable in the air.

Jason does catch his eyes on his chest though. He smirks and sees the moment horror grows in those bright blue eyes. Instead of heading towards the stairs he decides to circle back towards the group.

Bruce chuffs from his position on the floor. He doesn’t stop what he’s doing but does tilt towards him in reverence. It’s been the biggest change in their dynamic. Bruce finally learning to respect Jason as not only a pack mate, but the pack omega. He greets him with a scenting.

Unlike Dick the alpha seems to pay little attention to his milking.

Damian’s puppy nose twitches as he leans towards him. It makes his heart flutter really. While Damian would never ask, Jason has thought of offering his breast many times. While Technically too old for it, they’ve all done their fair share of growing up too quickly. Something that Jason Laments as well as appreciates.

He scents Damian more thoroughly than Bruce, making him bristle. The boy tries to move out of his hold, hands swatting him away.

“ Todd cease your pestering immediately! If I smell of milk my peers will assume I still breastfeed. “

Jason snorts and pulls back from the prickly pup. Bruce gets a stupid fond look on his face and for a brief moment he feels it echoing on his lips.

“ And what’s wrong with that? If your pack omega is milking of course as a pup you’re welcome to it. “

Damian’s green eyes widen a fraction. His mouth opens in disbelief. Clearly, Damian in fact did not know that. Bruce stares as well, his scent turning into a sweet blend of ‘love-admiration-awe’. It draws a shiver up Jason’s spine. The tender mix of affection from his pack blankets over him like a net of spun sugar.

Jason doesn’t know why he feels drawn to look at Dick. The alpha hasn’t said anything in the past minute. He cuts his gaze to the stone still alpha and his heart flutters in excitement. The looks of jealousy and want is so strong that his intentions sparkle clear like aquamarine in shallow ocean waters.

The alpha is so much more honest when he thinks Jason isn’t looking.

He grins at Dick.

The alpha immediately shrinks in shame and embarrassment.

“ And of course any alpha spending my heat with me. “

[mehbzz]

Home

I had the sudden urge to try and write some hurt/comfort TLC with our A/B/O chocobros.  An impulsive bit of writing that probably needs some editing but it fulfilled my itch! SFW, maybe 2 lines of mild suggestiveness. Just some snuggles and love. 

You had dreamt about home. You had woken with an odd mix of guilt and sadness that had eventually dissipated and left you feeling muted and distant. You were aware you were bringing up the idea of getting home less often, and thinking about it even less so and whether by design or by accident your pack were also rather quiet on the subject. The fact that you had started internally thinking of them as your pack added another burst of guilt to your already fraught emotions. You knew the sadness was there, but you couldn’t feel it, couldn’t feel much of anything that morning except a hazy cloud of brooding disinterest. Of course the boys had noticed immediately, the lack of privacy for your own feelings souring your mood further and after your fifth snapped response to their pestering they had quietly backed off. The day had passed in a majority of uncomfortable silence, you being dragged along with one alpha or another as they finished up whatever business they had in town.  

You were all now sat in the diner around the corner from the hotel. You were staring blankly out the window at nothing, fiddling absentmindedly with your napkin. Gladio had ordered for you, after you had shaken your head silently at the waitress.  Not really caring what he had asked for but the plate that was put in front of you had been a pleasant surprise. You weren’t aware Gladio paid that much attention to your eating habits but seeing your favourite food in front of you sent a small wave of grateful happiness through your low mood. “Thank you” your words are quiet and you offered him a small smile when he locked eyes with you. “You need to eat it all” his words are gruff and if you didn’t know better you’d think there was a light pink tinge to his cheeks. Before you can muster up the energy to tease him Prompto is pushing into your side. “You gotta try this” Holding up what looks like a fry dipped in his milkshake you eye it warily. “No thanks?” “Come on! Trust me it’s -”, a cough from Ignis has him lowering his offering in disappointment. “Aw man, you don’t know what you’re missing out on” He remains close to your side as you go back to your own food. You don’t feel particularly hungry but you can feel Gladio and Ignis watching you and you don’t have the energy to argue. You must have zoned out again as Ignis soft call of your name startles you. “Noctis is having trouble with his back this evening”, he repeats, “We were discussing delaying our trip for a day” You glance at Noct and you know immediately that’s it’s a lie but you don’t care enough to point it out or to wonder what they are up to this time. You shrug. “Ok” “A day off will do us all good” Ignis continues, watching you intently as he speaks but you just nod and give another quiet ok in response.

“It’ll be fun!” Prompto swivels back to you “I can show you some of the cool shots I got yesterday, there’s a couple of really funny ones of Noct when he – “ Noctis cuts him off with a low warning growl and you can’t help but smile at the playful threat. Prompto raises his hands in mock surrender before turning back to you. “First photos I’ll show you” he whispers before he continues his plan for the day. “Just chillin with some trashy TV and a pile of junk food,” he pauses and glances at Ignis, “uh, right Iggy?” Ignis stares at him before sighing “I will pick something up on the way back to the hotel” “Great!” Prompto’s enthusiasm is infectious and you find yourself nodding along as he continues his ideas for the day. Leaving Ignis to sort out the bill the rest of you start a slow walk back to the hotel. With Prompto and Noctis walking in front of you still arguing over whatever embarrassing pictures he had on his camera, you feel a little happier than you did before your meal but you still feel tense and oddly exposed, even with Gladio walking next to you. He steps closer, wrapping an arm round your waist to bring you tight into his side. He doesn’t say anything, which you are incredibly grateful for, just leans down to press a lingering kiss to your temple. Smothered into his side makes all your senses scream ‘safe’ and relaxing into his hold you are back at your hotel room before you know it. With another kiss he pushes you through the door with a sharp smack to your backside. He laughs at your reaction and lets his hand linger on your ass as he guides you in to the middle of the room. “Shoes off” The way he kneels down in front of you sends a mild buzz of arousal through you, which he notices, because of course he does, and he winks at you as you place your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. “I think you like me down here” With your shoes off his hands glide up your legs to the button of your jeans and you roll your eyes in mock annoyance. “I can take my own jeans off” he ignores your comment and instead places a quick kiss to your stomach as he yanks the fabric down your legs.

Your protest turns into a yelp as Gladio hoists you up over his shoulder to deposit you unceremoniously on his bed. “Get comfy” your disappointment as you watch him walk into the bathroom is short lived as Noctis and Prompto instantly try to snuggle you down into the mattress with them. Your hiss of annoyance is half-hearted and they both ignore it. Noct slipping straight into his favourite position at your side, head resting against your chest while Prompto grabs the remote to the TV before laying his head in your lap. Noct’s usual technique at comforting you was an unusual method of ‘bothering you until you pet him’ rather than outright affection but the way he was purring softly as you ran your fingers through his hair was actually calming, you had to admit. And the knowledge of the little huff he would have afterwards when he noticed the state of his hair added a small boost of amusement to your mood. Although the way he noses at your nipple through your shirt has you groaning in slight annoyance. “Not now Noct.” You can practically hear the whine building up in his throat but he doesn’t push you further, just shifts until his head is resting comfortably on your chest.

The sound of the TV and Noct’s gentle purring lulls you in to a drowsy peaceful state. Prompto quiet murmur of your name has your attention drawn back to him. He wants to say something or ask you something, you can tell from the sudden flux of nervousness in his scent and you brace yourself.  Instead he presses a quick kiss to your thigh that surprises a giggle out of you so he does it again. “I’m glad you’re here” his words are quiet, whispered against your skin in-between his kisses but the sincerity in them is obvious and you bite your lip to stop yourself from crying. “You are too, right?” His question hurts, and your thoughts from the morning come rushing back to you. You were glad, but the guilt at feeling like that was overpowering at times.  You hum noncommittally in response, not trusting yourself to answer. Noct obviously notices your distress and his hand squeezes your hip briefly before reaching down to smack Prompt lightly on the head “noisy” he grumbles “I’m trying to watch this” Gladio’s emergence from the bathroom and rumbled demand of ‘move’ distracts Prompto from making whatever snappy reply he had, and instead he moves with a pout, clambering over you to sit behind Noct. As you move from under Noctis’ weight, Gladio is not even completely down before you are curling up into his side. “Where’s Ignis?” you can’t stop your hand from trailing over his bare chest, tracing over the edge of his tattoo lightly. “Probably talking to the hotel clerk, he'll be here soon.” Gladio’s hand slips up under your t-shirt to rest on your ribs and you shiver, trying to push yourself closer. His fingers tracing small circles into your skin “Relax baby, daddy’s got you” the word is new, and you do your best to ignore the way it makes your stomach flutter. He doesn’t complain as you hook your leg over his, content to let you wriggle and shift until you are comfortable, half lying on top of him. “Better?” You nod against his chest and he raises his hand to start stroking through your hair, mimicking your earlier position with Noct. “You’re allowed be happy“ Gladio’s words whispered into your hair take you by surprise  and you bury your face further into his chest to try and hide your sudden rush of tears. He says nothing further and the quiet as he continues to stroke your hair is surprisingly soothing, the only noise over your quiet sniffles is the slight creak of the bed as Noctis and Prompto try to subtly move closer to you, offering you comfort and warmth against your back without saying a word. You must have dozed off after a while as the next thing you are aware of is the soft press of Ignis lips against your forehead. He sits on the edge of the bed next to Gladio’s quietly snoring form and the concern in his expression makes tears prick at your eyes again. He moves slightly, his hand brushing away a stray tear from your cheek. "Talk to me?" he asks softly. You’re silent for a few long seconds, not sure if you can explain your mess of thoughts and emotions well enough for him to understand

"I don’t…” your breath hitches and you try to swallow around the lump in your throat, “I don’t think about it much anymore” Its vague, and you don’t say any more, don’t clarify what you mean but Ignis seems to understand you. “Whether you do or don’t, it’s Ok, we still love you“ He brushes away another tear. He cups your face gently, and you turn into his touch with a shaky sigh. The outright acceptance of your jumbled emotions that you receive from the four of them is unsettling in the best way. You feel loved, and the tears begin anew at the realisation. In your own world, with your own family, you had never felt this level of belonging and acceptance. The guilt that maybe you didn’t actually want to return there was still prevalent, but felt less sharp than it had done.   The look of alarm across Ignis face at your fresh tears makes you smile in faint amusement. “I’m ok” he looks doubtful at your claim and you fight back the mild hysterical urge to laugh  “I am, Ignis, truly I am”. You swallow, wrestling your emotions back under some semblance of control and kiss his palm. “It’s just,” you hesitate “a lot. I’m not used to,” you gesture loosely between you “this” you give him a genuine smile this time, “but it’s getting easier” ‘This’ was a poor descriptor for describing the bond you felt as part of the pack. But Ignis seemed to know what you meant. He stills looks a little concerned but he leans down to kiss you, “You’re our omega” he reminds you. The possessive lilt to his words sends a happy shiver through you and you hum into his kiss in agreement.

Feeling vulnerable but a lot more stable, the adrenaline from the whiplash of emotions over the day has left you feeling restless and fills you with the sudden childish desire to annoy the man sleeping beneath you. You flick your finger sharply across Gladio’s nipple, snickering quietly at his sleepy annoyed grunt and at Ignis’ look of bemusement. He stands with an almost audible roll of his eyes just as you are considering biting down on the nipple closest to you. “I won’t protect you from the consequences of whatever foolish action you are thinking of taking” He watches as you bite your lip in thought before he turns away with a small huff of amusement “Those two are a bad influence on you”

“Hey,” as if summoned by the promise of trouble Prompto stirs behind you, poking you in your side. You twist in Gladio’s tight hold to try and look at him. “Noct is asleep” he gives you a mischievous grin and you respond automatically with a smile of your own even though you don’t know what he’s planning “wanna see those photos now?”

[reidamancy]

ghost of you || spencer reid

summary: You helplessly witness Spencer cope with a loss on the anniversary of the event, unable to help him. (spencer reid x fem bau!reader)

category: angst

warnings: death

word count: 2.8k

a/n: wow apparently i only know how to write angst lmao i���m sorry in advance

MASTERLIST

It’s been a year since the incident. You knew the anniversary would be especially hard for Spencer, so you wanted to be with him today. 

You slipped onto your side of the bed and watched his chest rise and fall as he lightly snored. You studied his face and noticed how peaceful he looked. That’s all you wished for him. To be at peace. But you knew that once he was conscious, his emotions would take over his mind like a violent storm.

You reached out and brushed your hand through his curls. He stirred, shocking you. You sat back as you watched his eyes flutter open. His eyes were glossy as they stared at you. No words were exchanged, but it felt as if the two of you deeply connected in that moment.

You reached out to hold his cheek, but he stayed still. You bit your lip, wanting to say something but you knew it wouldn’t make a difference. You rubbed your thumb along his cheekbone as you cradled his face in your palm. The two of you stayed there for a while. You, silently comforting him, and him staring back at you emptily. 

This was not what wanted, but there was nothing you could do to change it. 

After a while, he slowly got out of bed and started getting ready for the day. You stayed in bed, hands folded across your stomach as you stared at the ceiling. You wished things were different. You wished you could go back in time, just to relive that moment. But, knowing what you did now, you wouldn’t have changed the outcome. 

Before you could recount the events that happened one year ago today, Spencer emerged from the shower. You turned around as he was getting dressed. Once he was done, he quickly grabbed his keys and left his apartment, with you trailing right behind him. 

He called Hotch to ask him for the day off. It was an unusual request from Reid, but one look at the calendar and Hotch understood. He knew the significance of today, so he let Reid off the hook and wished him well.

Spencer left a space next to him when he walked. You eagerly filled it, remembering what it was like before the incident. You smiled as your arms occasionally bumped during the walk, but Spencer didn’t feel it. With his head down and hands in his pockets, he was deep in thought. And you wanted nothing more than to pull him away from his swirling mind.

Before you knew it, you were in front of the library the two of you frequented. You let out a sigh and placed a hand on his shoulder. He shivered as he walked in. 

You aimlessly followed him for the next hour. He roamed around the library, picking up random books, flicking through the pages, then returning them to their shelves. It wasn’t until you saw the titles that you realized his choices were anything but random. He had chosen your favorite books; they were your favorites because they were his recommendations that you read for the first time in this very library. 

There were copies of all these books at home, with your handwriting adorning the margins. You had left little notes to yourself and Spencer if either of you decided to reread them. Spencer had reread these books multiple times just to see your comments and reactions to the plot, how you circled words you didn’t know and highlighted your favorite parts. His eidetic memory had seared these books into his mind, but the notes you left felt new every time he read them.

After placing the last book back on the bookshelf, he stared at one of the library tables. You followed his gaze and realized it was your table. The table the two of you would sit at every time you came here. You smiled at all the memories that occurred there. You walked over and took your usual seat, knowing he’d follow. 

When he sat down, he took a deep breath. You could hear the sadness in his exhale and you fought the urge to reach out and hold his hands. But your hands stayed glued to your lap. 

He looked everywhere but you. His eyes scanned the room as if he was memorizing this moment, but you knew his mind was somewhere else. 

“Y/N,” he croaked. It was barely audible, and it was the first time you heard his voice today. 

“I’m here, Spence.” You shot him a smile. 

He lowered his eyes and sniffled. 

You knew you had to get him out of here, this place was too painful. “Let’s get some coffee,” you urged. Spencer stayed in his seat.

You stared at the young doctor as he played with his hands. Spencer sat there for a while. You could only assume he was soaking in this library and all the memories associated with it. When his first tear fell, he knew he had to leave. He swiped away the tear as quick as it came and hurriedly left the library, with you following him to his next destination.

His feet must have had a mind of their own because he looked bewildered when he saw the front door of the coffee shop the two of you would go to every morning. This shop was on your way to work, and Spencer needed his daily caffeine fix so it only made sense. The bell on top of the door dinged as he entered. The comforting smell of coffee surrounded Spencer as he got up to the counter and ordered his usual. He took a seat by the window, and you sat down across from him. As he was waiting for his order he heard the barista call out, “One caramel macchiato!”

You smiled at each other. That was your order. But the two of you stayed in your seats with sad smiles as you watched a woman pick up her macchiato and leave the shop. You turned back towards Spencer and saw he was staring at something. You followed his eyes to the sugar table. In that moment you knew what he was thinking and you smiled, remembering the same thing.

“Spencer!” You gaped at your boyfriend, staring at your drink that was now splattered across the floor. You had dropped it just as soon as you got it after colliding into Spencer.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N!” He laughed. He dropped down to the floor and started wiping up the mess with napkins. 

As he got back on his feet, you lightly smacked his shoulder. “It’s not funny!” You looked at your watch. “We need to be at work in 10 minutes.”

“Here, you can have mine.”

You eyed him carefully. “You’re giving up your caffeine?” You asked, eyebrows raised.

He laughed again. “I think you need it more than me.”

You took his cup into your hands and took a sip. You grimaced as the bitter liquid hit your tongue. “Jesus Christ, how can you drink this?!”

You emptied sugar packet after sugar packet into Spencer’s black coffee, never completely satisfied with the taste. 

“Y/N, we have to go!”

“Well we wouldn’t be late if someone didn’t make me drop my coffee.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Come on, there’s got to be a three-inch layer of sugar in that cup by now.”

You looked him directly in the eyes as you emptied another packet into the cup.

“Y/N!” He giggled.

You couldn’t help but laugh as well. “Okay, okay let’s go!”

“Hotch is going to kill us.” Spencer laughed as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pressed a quick kiss on your cheek. 

You smiled at the memory, remembering it as if it were yesterday. Then you looked over to Spencer and saw his lip quivering. You sighed and placed your hand on his. He didn’t feel it.

His order was called and he quickly went up to get it. He gave the barista a quick thank you and made his way out of the shop. Across from the coffee shop was a florist. Spencer almost smiled at the convenience. He took one look at the sign and decided it was time. You followed him as Spencer crossed the road and made his way into the flower shop.

He took his time and slowly passed by all the flowers, basking in their scent. You trailed behind him, occasionally reaching out to the flowers that caught your eye. By the time he reached the cashier, he decided to buy a bouquet of carnations. White for innocence, red for love, and pink for remembrance.

After leaving the flower shop, each step Spencer took felt heavy. He decided against using the subway because he needed more time. He was stalling and he knew it. He wasn’t sure if he was ready, and he needed to gather his thoughts and emotions. So he took the long way, walking the entire distance. You walked next to Spencer, watching his face, trying to read his thoughts. But he was unreadable. So you walked in silence as you got closer and closer to your destination. 

The two of you entered the cemetery and you took a deep breath. Spencer’s lip was caught in between his teeth. You held his hand in attempt to comfort him but that didn’t calm his nerves. He wandered around the cemetery, unsure of where to go, until he found the grave he was looking for. 

Y/N Y/L/N

He took a deep breath and sat down in front of your headstone. You smiled as you welcomed him for the first time.

He gently placed the flowers against your grave and cleared his throat. “Hi Y/N.” His voice was weak and barely above a whisper.

You leaned on the stone and smiled. “Hi Spence.”

Tears began to steadily fall down his cheeks. You frowned as you got up to wipe them away. “No, please don’t cry.” You said as you crouched in front of him and held his face in your hands. You swiped your thumb across his cheeks, but your finger made no difference as the tears continued their descent down his face. It was an aching reminder of your phantom form. You sighed as you sat back against your headstone and watched your lover, unable to hold him despite your deepest desires.

He looked at the ground. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You shook your head. “Don’t be.”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t at your funeral. I couldn’t bring myself to come.” Spencer choked on a sob. “It was just too painful.”

You smiled and nodded. “I know, baby. It’s okay.”

“I... I hope it wasn’t disrespectful. I love, loved, you more than anything, Y/N. But I wasn’t ready. I’m still not. You were gone too soon.”

You felt your own eyes fill with tears. 

“And I’m sorry I haven’t said goodbye... I haven’t even acknowledged your death because,” Spencer trailed off. He blinked the tears out of his eyes and bit his lip. “Because sometimes I feel like you’re still with me.” 

You reached out and grabbed his hand, but he couldn’t feel it. “I am. I always will be.” You said through tears.

“I haven’t touched anything. Our room is still the same. I leave a space for you on your side of the bed. Your side of the bathroom is still the same.” Spencer let out a sad laugh. “That can’t be healthy considering it’s been so long, but I just can’t explain it Y/N.”

He took a deep breath and continued. “I’ve never loved anyone as much as I loved you and I can’t believe you’re gone.” His voice cracked and tears were now streaming down your cheeks. 

“I love you too, Spencer. So much.”

“You know, its common in many belief systems that spirits cannot move on from our realm until all its goodbyes are made. I hope I’m not keeping you here.”

You smiled and laughed. “It’s okay, I like watching over you.”

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to do this. I just didn’t want it to be real. But it’s been long enough, and I need to face reality.” Spencer hung his head and sighed. “It’s selfish of me. I’m still trying to hold on to you, but you deserve to move on. Wherever you are, I hope you are at peace. That’s all I want for you.”

You scoffed. “You first.”

Spencer cleared his throat. “I know it looks bad... For someone who’s claimed to love you I haven’t really shown it since you died... But you have to know how much I love you. You had to know while you were still alive, and that’s what matters.” He was choking on his sobs as you silently cried.

“I know, I know Spencer. God, I wish I could tell you how much I love you.”

“Y/N, I couldn’t deal with your death for so long because I needed a future with you. I made plans, right after that case. I was so sure, Y/N.” Spencer reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. You gasped as you covered your mouth to stop the sobs from escaping you, not that he would have heard them.

He opened the box to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring. He sniffled and said, “I got this before we went on that case. I held onto it the entire time, just in case. I was going to take you out once we got back. But you never came back with me.” Spencer sobbed freely now and you joined him. The fact that he had the ring with him in your final moments broke your heart.

“Oh my God, Spencer...” You cried into your hand, heart aching at the future you could have had with the love of your life.

“I’ve been carrying it around with me ever since. I know, it’s not healthy, I mean, it’s been a year. But it’s a constant reminder of you, Y/N. You’re always on my mind. Or at least, in my pocket.”

You let out a small chuckle between your tears. You couldn’t believe it. You moved towards Spencer and straddled his lap. You sobbed as you held his face in your hands. Spencer made no movement as he stared at your headstone. Unbeknownst to him, you were littering his face with kisses as you hugged him tightly. “I love you so much, Spencer Reid.”

Spencer stared at the ring and sighed. "It should have been me.” He cried.

You shook your head. “No, Spencer I’d take a bullet for you any day. You deserve the happiest life,” You rested your forehead against his. “And the world needs you, genius.” You smiled to yourself as you imagined how his skin would feel against yours in this moment.

He wiped the tears off his cheeks and stood up. You got up with him and stood next to him. He was staring at your headstone. You wrapped your arms around one of his and leaned your head on his shoulder. You sighed, wishing you could breathe in his scent and feel his warmth right now. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say goodbye, Y/N. I miss you. More than you’ll ever know.”

He crouched down and pulled some of the grass out of the way. He used his hands to dig up some dirt and placed the closed box into the shallow hole he made. He buried your encased ring and patted down the dirt. “Goodbye... my wife.”

You let out a whimper. You let your mind imagine flashes of a life where you marry Spencer, which only intensified your cries. Then, you looked down at your grave and saw a bright light emitting from it. The ground shifted as a portal-like door appeared in front of you. You looked to Spencer in confusion, but he seemed unfazed as he continued to stare at your grave. You were the only one who could see it. Realization hit that this must be the other side. Your last tie to the mortal world had just been severed and it was time to move on.

You looked back at Spencer and felt tears fall down your face. “Spence. I know you can’t hear me but I need you to listen. Please. Catch all the unsubs for me. Find a pretty girl. Start a family. Do everything we would have done and live your life. We’ll meet again... my husband.” You kissed him right on the lips, sobbing at the empty feeling you got once your lips made contact. He looked straight ahead, unaware of your affection. 

You turned and faced the door, now glowing with immense brightness. You stepped closer to it, anxious to meet what was waiting for you on the other side. You turned around, looking at Spencer’s face one last time, then stepped into the brightness.

[kythed]

just my cuppa

yamaguchi tadashi x reader

synopsis: a soaking wet, stressed out (y/n) stumbles into cafe-owner!yamaguchi’s coffee shop. 

word count: 1,944

--

The coffee shop is comfortably warm and smells of cinnamon and ginger, a sharp contrast to the heavy autumn rain pelting the pavement outside. Yamaguchi watches water torrent down the windows outside as he meticulously wipes each table, thankful he’s clean and dry rather than braving the storm outside. It’s 9:25pm on a Friday night, approaching closing time. Usually he’d wait until the last minute to start closing up, but there haven’t been any customers since around 8. He hasn’t even seen any passersby since then, just the occasional car splashing through flooded streets, headlights muffled by the deluge.  

So, understandably, he’s surprised to see you stumble in through the door, soaking wet and clutching a sorry looking umbrella. The bell hung on the doorframe jingles cheerfully, and Yamaguchi stares as you exhale heavily and apologetically wring your hands. 

“Uh… hi?” you offer hesitantly, looking rather abashed. “I’m sorry… I was trying to make my way home, but my umbrella snapped and I noticed your cafe was open…” 

Yamaguchi stares at the wet clothes clinging to your frame and the way your shoulders are trembling. “Oh my God. Please, come sit down, let me make you a hot drink or something. It’s gotta be freezing out there; you aren’t even wearing a coat. Come, come.”

“Oh, no, I really shouldn’t track puddles on the floor--”

Yamaguchi ushers you onto a seat at the counter despite your protests and takes your umbrella, setting it to the side. He flies into action, snatching various colored packets and jars of sweet smelling spices. As he sets a kettle of water to boil, you sneeze violently and his eyes widen. “I think I have a towel in the back, I’m gonna go grab it so you can dry off a little.” 

You open your mouth to object but he’s already sprinted into the storage room. In less than a minute he reemerges, cradling a folded towel and a sweater. “Go dry off in the bathroom and change into this sweater. I’m afraid I don’t have any spare pants, but by the time you’ve finished I’ll have that drink ready. Oh, and please, don’t worry about paying-- it’s on me.”

He flashes you a quick smile and you stare, struggling to form words… then you burst into tears. 

Yamaguchi rushes to your side, hesitantly hovering his hands over your shoulders, not sure if he should hug you, comfort you, or what. When he came into work this morning, he did not expect to have a drenched, emotional wreck of a girl stagger into his cafe late at night and start sobbing and dripping on his counter... He settles on patting your shoulder in as motherly a manner as he can muster. “Oh, um, it’s okay, there, there.”

“I’m-- hic-- I’m so sorry,” you sniffle, wiping your eyes with the edge of the towel. “It’s just, I’ve been having such a hard-- hic-- week, and this is the first nice thing someone’s done for me in a while.” 

“Oh.” Yamaguchi’s heart just melts and he impulsively wraps you up in a warm hug, despite not even knowing your name. This is so improper, he thinks, a little too late. Curse my empathy for crying women. You bury your face in his chest and cry a little more, the exhaustion of the day expelling itself in the form of sobs that rack your body in waves. He rubs your back lightly, something he used to do when his younger sister would cry as a child. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Everything is going to be fine, just dry yourself off and sip a little tea, yeah? Does that sound alright?”

You nod, untangling yourself from his embrace and smiling tearfully. “I’ll go change now. I’m sorry, again, for… everything. I’m pretty sure I got snot on your collar.”

“Stop apologizing,” Yamaguchi scolds, giving you a light push towards the restroom. “It’s not a problem at all.” 

You nod, face hot and eyes puffy, and head into the bathroom, dampening a paper napkin with warm water to dab your face with. You gaze at the girl in the mirror with swollen, tear stained cheeks. How embarrassing to be caught at such a bad time by this kind, attractive stranger… thinking about his gracious smile again sends you into another fit of tears that you quickly brush away.

After you’ve stripped your shirt and dried off as best you can, you slip the sweater over your head. It’s far too large, but the inside is soft fleece and smells of men’s cologne. You inhale deeply, comforted by the spicy, woody scent, and head back into the cafe, where Yamaguchi’s finished up the drink. He slides the steaming mug in front of you, along with a saucer of tiny cookies. 

“It’s Earl Grey,” he says, taking one of the cookies for himself. “You looked like a tea drinker to me. It’s got a bit of milk and sugar, too, so I hope that’s alright.” 

“That’s perfect; thank you so much,” you say, lifting the mug to your lips for a sip. It’s hot and sweet and seems to wash away the acrid taste of the day’s tribulations. “I’m (L/N), by the way. If I’m going to impose on your hospitality a little longer, you might as well know my name.”

“I’m Yamaguchi,” he says, pushing the cookies closer to you. “And I already told you, you’re not imposing. It’s not like I have anything else to do anyways! I was getting bored without anyone coming in-- I haven’t had a customer for hours.” 

“Yeah, it’s no wonder,” you say, eyes wide and nodding vigorously. “It’s practically a hurricane out there. I thought I could make it from work to that bus stop on the corner without getting too wet. I was wrong, obviously.” 

“Oh, where do you work? It’s gotta be pretty close for you to even entertain the idea of stepping out in a storm like this,” says Yamaguchi with a laugh. He takes a hairband from his wrist and begins to absentmindedly tie his long, dark locks into a loose knot, out of which a few strands fall to charmingly frame his face. 

You smile, finally deciding to nibble on one of the cookies. It’s chewy, has a distinctly spiced apple flavor, and immediately boosts your mood. “It’s close enough. I work at the little florist’s shop on Mayweather Ave. You know, near the supermarket.”  

Yamaguchi perks up. “Arrangements by Aiko? The one that always has a few big bundles of bouquets out in front?” 

“Yeah, that’s the one. You’ve been there before?” you ask, swirling the remnants of your tea around the bottom of the cup. 

“No, no, but I drive by every day on the way here. You guys always have the nicest looking flowers.” Yamaguchi refills your drink from the still-steaming kettle without being asked as you murmur a quiet thanks. “How come you’ve never been ‘round here, then? It’s hardly a two minute walk if you hurry. I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered if you ever came in for a coffee.” 

You laugh softly. “There’s a Starbucks up the street from us.”

“Pssh,” Yamaguchi scoffs, crinkling his nose. He’s had a personal vendetta against Starbucks for years. Stupid chain, thinking they’re all that just ‘cause they have a trademark and a logo. “That Starbucks has gotta be at least ten minutes from the flower shop. Plus, I happen to know my vanilla bean frapp is a hundred times better than theirs. They don’t even use real vanilla! Can you believe that? This cafe is obviously superior.” 

“Oh, my,” you gasp, dramatically holding a hand to your chest. “I’m not really a frappuccino person, but that is quite the scandal indeed. Maybe I should stop giving them my valuable business and start coming here instead.”

Yamaguchi nods solemnly, eyebrows raised. “Yeah, I think so. Plus, I heard that they don’t give out a discount for pretty girls like we do, something you’d surely benefit from.” 

He smiles shyly, a little surprised at his own boldness, as a splotchy blush rises to your cheeks. You briefly bury your face in your hands, embarrassed, before popping back up with a huge smile. Unable to compose yourself, your next sentence is punctuated by giggles. “Is that so? Well, I guess that seals the deal then.” 

“Mhm,” Yamaguchi agrees happily, immensely pleased with himself. 

You and Yamaguchi pass the next half an hour enjoyably, pleasantly chatting about your jobs, friends, family, and world news until the clock strikes ten and you give a start, remembering you have work early in the morning. “Ah, I should really get going. But again, thank you so, so much for everything and I’m so--”

“Don’t you dare say it,” he interrupts, leaning over the counter to grab a to-go cup and a plastic baggie of cookies. “It’s been my pleasure, seriously. Do me a favor and take these. Then I’ll dial up a cab and we’ll have you home in no time.” 

“At least let me pay for the cab,” you say, exasperated, as he tucks the baggie into your sweater pocket and shoves the cup in your hand. You slowly extract yourself from the cradle of the tall counter chair, muscles stiff. 

“Not a chance,” he says with a sweet smile. “I thought you’d know me better than that by now.”

When the car arrives, Yamaguchi walks you out to the door. A biting cold nips at your noses, but the rain has subsided, at least for the time being. All that remains are the puddles and the slow drip, drip, drip of water rolling off the rooftops. You sigh, breath curling into the crisp air. You bury your hands in the pockets of the sweater Yamaguchi lent you earlier. “I’ll return this to you.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, opening the car door for you. “It looks better on you than it does on me, anyways. You should definitely pop in for another drink soon, though.” 

You climb in, careful not to crush the pouch of cookies. “Absolutely I will. Maybe I’ll even try that vanilla bean frapp you were bragging about.”

“You really should,” he says, beginning to close the car door but suddenly freezing in his tracks. “Oh, wait right here for a second.”

He sprints back into the cafe and rushes out again in a lightning fast thirty seconds, clutching a paper napkin. After folding it into a little square, he hands it to you proudly. “Here. I wrote down the code for the discount. Come back with that, and you’ll get two dollars off your next purchase!” 

“Thanks, Yamaguchi,” you laugh, gingerly taking the napkin and sliding it into your pocket, right next to the cookies. Then you close the door, roll down the window, and wave cheerily as the car pulls away from the curb. “I’ll see you later!”

“See you!” Yamaguchi waves until your cab turns a corner, leaving just the faint scent of exhaust. He pumps a fist in the air before spinning on his heel, heading back into the embrace of the warm cafe with a bounce in his step. 

It’s not until you arrive home twenty minutes later, shower, and sit at your kitchen table with a pack of instant ramen on the stove that you remember the little napkin. Unfolding it, you discover that it's not quite a discount code like Yamaguchi claimed. Instead, it’s a phone number accompanied by a poorly drawn teacup with steam rising from its rim. 

You’re a hot-tea! - Yamaguchi Tadashi (part time comedian)

P.S. I lied. Sorry. Not a discount code. But maybe we can arrange some way to get you those two dollars off if you go on a date with me? Let me know.

Shaking your head with a grin, you pull out your phone and punch in the number.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Don't touch...

(L/n) (Y/n).

Quirk? Unknown to him until the days of today...

Your company after all these years had been quite... enjoyable for him to not say the least. Most of the time you wore a mask, gloves and clothes that covered most of your skin, yet you always opted to be more free, feel the sun and the wind on your skin... he never get it why though.

Without the clothes you would remember a bit of him, flinch away from the touch even before it could touch you... yet when it was on your clothing you just reacted calmly and dare he say even sweetly.

He came to know you as kids, just barely when he entered the yakusa Pops showed to him you.. a kind soul that asked him if he wanted to play despite the look of distrust and hatred he gave to you just when you looked at him.

He never complained about you not wanting to be touched, he didn't liked it either. But he could tell you had... different reasons. As the years went by, he notice the dreadfull and even the remorse behind those (E/c) eyes of denying someone touch, a pat on the head, a hand shake... a hug.

It was... strange.

It's funny how reverse psychology worked... thats at least what he deduced from his own analysis. He didn't felt comfortable, heck actually he felt sick to the stomach if everyone else got too close to him or forbid God to ever lay a finger on him... but with you? The more you would get away from him, the more he wanted you to stay by his side... you were one of the few whose he felt comfortable enough.

He had gone through one of the most painfull feeling right on his childhood. Parental neglect and abuse, not even mentioning the pain he had to atture of controling his own quirk, testing on both victims and himself. Seriously, what could be worse than that?

Simple. When he found out that he was actually catching feelings for you, and your neglect of touch was even from him.

He didn't know what was so special that left his skin itching to just brush against yours...he just.. needed to test the waters. Yeah, it was only that.

The Hassaikai for a very long time had a plan for touching you. Since you werent as deadly and scary as Kai, and had kinda of a good partnership for all of them, he just could watch the shit go downs.

But soon stopped being a joke one day where Mimic went from behind you and tried to grab your wrist as you listened to his other plan to tell Pops later. He didn't even could tell you before your reflexes acted and you kicked Mimic square in the face.

"Dont. Touch me. This is not a joke anymore." You muttered in anger before bowing to Kai and leaving the room, his golden eyes widening at the drops of tears you let it slip from your eyes.

Mimic never once thought that the young sucessor of the Hassaikai could be even more enraged and such a monster when dealing with you. Rappa could only laugh since this time he wasn't the one having his ass beaten and overhauled. Haha poor him I torture him sometimes here

He couldn't understand... until the day where you were crying your eyes out. He couldn't understand until you just threw three blankets at him and hugged him for all your might.

His breath suddenly dissapeared...he didn't know what to say or even do at that point, and just when he was about to lower his arms you pulled away from and took the three massive blankets away from.

"Sorry, Chisaki.." you sniffled as he blinked, stoic gaze still present at your depressed state. "Really, forgive me I-"

"You never once told me about your "despise" for touch." He interrupted you, letting you lift your head for him to speak again "We both know my reason, but you're far away from a clean freak person or a mysophobic... explain it."

His eyes never widened at the point where it even hurted his whole life.

Your illness. Your quirk. That was why you couldn't touch anyone neither let anyone touch you. Your quirk allowed you to give resistance to others with only one glance and gave you amazing reflexes... but the consequences were way too big....

Hearing this made his skin form into hives, anger at despicable things rising even more.

From that way beyond, he promised himself that he would create a cure. It didn't even matter, he just needed a cure for this. A cure for you to stop suffering.

More years went by... he saw your worry at Pops condition, he saw your worry towards him for both being charged with the chore of taking care of the girl and both for him to get the tittle as the big boss.

Yet he couldn't stop. When he discovered Eri's quirk he saw a hint of light on the end of the tunnel. You wouldn't ever need to use thick clothes to protect yourself from vanishing from existence.

The bullets were only experimental. He selled most of them to be used as... experiments. He would use the first serum on you, and this way you could stop this nightmare where many nights you confessed to him... as he confesses his own sins.

You wouldn't like to know about Eri, so he simply erased the idea of telling you that. He never answered your questions on what he was working. His mind fooling him that he wasn't exactly lying to you if he hadn't said anything.

He could only be relieved to graze your skin under only using his gloves... at first he thought it would be enough, but no.

Love is like a damn drug. The more you get, the more you want. And he couldn't help but want more.

The bullets were a success... but he knew heroes were coming towards him. That blonde and green haired kid surely were behind this...

So the least he could do was give you a night to remember if anything went wrong on those next few days.

"A festival?" You asked with wide eyes before gasping at him putting the box on the desk. "Huh?"

"You always talk about them." He answered nonchantly, montioning with his eyes at the box as hs stuffed his hands on his pockets.

You snickered and opened the box carefully before widening your eyes, picking the golden and with traces of shiny green yukata on your hands... you were out of words until you gasped at Chisaki leaving and standing on the door way, giving you only one side eye glance as he spoke before he closed the door.

"I expect you to be ready by 8."

You blinked in shock before softening your gaze, holding the yukata over your body as you could only smile...

You were tired of living this way... if it meant you could spend a night with the man you love normally... so be it.

.

.

.

The sky had a bunch of lanterns and it shined with the lights of it along with the stars. You bounced and walked happily ahead of Chisaki with a basket.

He was always wary of anyone who ever dared to step closer... the yukata covered your legs, chest and arms. But you noisy self insisted on going without gloves and he was actually worried that the material of the yukata he brought wasn't as thick to protect your skin.

Yet he had to only breath in and out, the air making it hotter around the area where his mask was... he had one of the serums in here. With him. Soon he will inject, and gave to you your freedom.

"Ne Kai! Look at that booth over there!" You tugged on the material of his own yukata as his golden nonchantly gaze looked at the mans throing balls and hitting the aims of the booth, winning prices for their kids and partners.

He let out a "tch" before noticing how your eyes shined and how your lips quivered up at seing the stuffed animals the man was giving.

Blinking, he sighed, muttering how he this was a waste of time before he dropped a bunch of coins to the man and grabbed three balls.

You clapped your hands in glee as he threw the three balls and with the most perfection he hit the three aims right on the middle of it.

"Choose." He said nonchantly while grabbing a napkin and wiping his GLOVED hands as you pointed at a cute yet fluffy and chubby penguin. Without the man grabbing the stick, he lifted his hand up and yanked the stuffed animal and hand it to you as you squealed, nuzzling your face on it with glee... making him smile at how innocent and sad this scene was.

Everytime you would look at a treat or just a snack he would buy... you even wondered with wide eyes and mouth full how much he brought to this festival as he only growled for you to not speak with a mouth full.

You were hugging the price Chisaki won to you for warm as he looked at you and stopped, it was on a fair and quite isolated area of the festival so he found the perfect time to give you the medice. Your cure.

"Cold?"

"A bit." You giggled before you saw him taking a box and overhauling it, showing a little red capsule "What's this?"

"... (Y/n).. I despise touch. I really do.. but I can't lie that I wasn't expecting at least to feel a real contact between us, skin to skin... you know how much you affect me? To have me, Chisaki Kai, wanting to at least feel what your skin feels like? Feel how soft those lips are instead of just receiving a quick kiss on my mask..." you blinked, raising a eyebrow with a sad smile.

"I wish I could do this way sooner-" you stopped talking as soon as you heard laughter and voices of childs running and playing around.

"Brats..." chisaki sighed at the sign, a quadruple of two girls and two boys chasing them, the two young girls greeting both of you as the one of the boys screamed after them.

It all happened so fucking fast... the last boy tripped and it was about to fall with his head on a rock... it if it wasn't for your good reflexes the boy would had fall.

"Thank you miss!" The boy mumbled with a smile as you, with both hands on his arms helped him.

His and your eyes were so wide... you looked at him and his gaze was filled with horror.

Your hand started to fade, a bunch of (E/c) butterflies started to form and fly away instead of the hand that was suppose to be there.

He couldn't even fucking move as you looked at him... he expected everything but the huge smile and the sob of happines you let out before jumping on him and hugging him with tears in your eyes.

"Finally I can touch you..!" You sighed with a sob, not feeling your legs anymore.

"(Y/n)-!" He dropped the bullet on the ground and clenched onto your back as his eyes started to burn before you locked his lips so softly, your eyes closed as your image faded away and his eyes wide open...

The last thing he saw was your smile as your body was replaced with lifes and butterflies... his knees gave out when he could only tigger at the yukata he bought for you...

The whole festival was all happy and cheerfully until they heard the shouts of pain of a man inside the peacefull and full of butterflies forest.

A/n: eeyyy dont even need to coment the damn visible reference right? :D

[fiction-fun]

Loving in Color

That's right! It's time! This probably will have 3 parts so keep an eye out for the second part!

Fandom: Power Rangers (Dino Thunder)

Pairings: Tommy/Jason, Conner/Ethan, Kira/Hunter, Trent/Oc

Words: 12068

Warnings: fighting, light swearing(as with most of my stories) and homophobia (trust me it makes me iffy about even posting this but the scene is breif)

She blinked at her reflection in the mirror and glared at it. With a huff she reached over and grabbed her favorite bandanna, the green looking nice when tied into her hair. She carefully rolled the article and tied it around her hair brushing her hair back into place.

“Kaley! Come on, or you won’t have time for breakfast!” Kaley heard the shout and looked towards her door.

“I’m coming Poppa!” she called as she grabbed her leather jacket and her backpack heading to the door.

She walked downstairs and gave her Poppa a hug before slipping past him and into the kitchen, beelining right for the coffee maker.

“Not you too, look if you have coffee you have to eat real food too!” Her Poppa said walking over to her and reaching up for a plate.

She nodded and offered him a smile.

“Dad only come up from his lab long enough to get a shower and a cuppa?” Kaley asked looking at him.

Her Poppa nodded and handed her the plate he had made her. Moving back to the table where his own plate sat.

“I don’t understand how he can work all night and then teach during the day.” Her Poppa said.

Kaley smiled and laughed as she sipped her coffee.

“Wasn’t it you and Uncle Billy who told me Dads a determined caffeinated workaholic?” Kaley questioned lightly as she started eating the pancakes.

Her Poppa nodded and sat back.

“Yes, but I was hoping, SOMEONE, would lighten up on the work over the years, clearly not.” He said as he drank his juice.

Kaley laughed as she heard a thump.

“Someone call me?” her Dad asked as he came up the stairs wiping his hands on a washcloth pressing a kiss to her head and her Poppas cheek.

“I was more speaking in general, dear, but you two both have to get going, or you’re both going to be late.” Poppa said.

Kaley stood and put her empty plate in the sink, reaching over and grabbing a napkin and a pancake she carefully placed a couple stripes of bacon and a few pieces of eggs inside before drizzling the syrup on top and rolling it up in the pancake and the napkin around it.

“Here, dad eat. But I do have to go. Love you Dad! Love you Poppa!” She called as she handed her dad the breakfast wrap and kissed both parents on the cheek.

“Kaley! Training after school?” her Poppa asked.

Kaley tuned and put her hands on her hips.

“If you’re home, I’ll meet you in the park.” She said and he winced slightly.

Her Poppa walked over to her.

“I know I’ve been working a lot, but I’m trying to make it so I can be home more.” He said hugging her.

She nodded and sighed as she hugged him back.

“I know, doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She said softly.

Her Dad came over and hugged them both before looking at the clock.

“Jason, we have to go if we want to be on time, Kaley I’ll drive you today or you won’t make it.” Her Dad said smiling at them.

Her Poppa laughed.

“With you driving, Tommy, neither of you will make it on time!” Her Poppa said laughing lightly.

“Hey! I’ve gotten better about that!” Her Dad replied.

Her Poppa just smiled and shook his head nudging them both towards the door.

“You both have a chronic problem with not being on time. Now go, I love you both.” Her Poppa called out smiling and waving.

Kaley and her Dad waved back calling responses as they climbed into Tommy’s Jeep.

“All buckled?” Her Dad asked her.

“Yeah! Let’s go Dad!” She said with a nod and smile.

Tommy nodded and put the Jeep in gear bringing it around to face the dirt road leading to their house, he ate the last of the wrap and passed her a green travel cup of coffee his black one already in the cup holder, and hit the gas. The normally forty-minute ride to the school was done in twenty and Kaley leaned over and hugged her Dad as they parked.

“I’ll see you later Dad, I love you.” She said smiling.

“I love you too.” Her Dad said hugging her back.

She opened the door and grabbed her cup and bag, heading straight for the office.

*Two months later*

“He’s your best friend and you haven’t even seen?” Kira asked looking at her.

Kaley choked on her drink, coughing lightly.

“Kira, seriously not here.” She said looking around to see if the person was around.

Kira rolled her eyes.

“He’s not here today. Remember? It’s what you were complaining about all last period.

Kaley felt like she could slap herself.

“Yeah, right. And no, I haven’t, I just enjoy spending time with him. Besides he hasn’t either.” She said sitting back.

Kira sighed.

“Girl, you’re insane! You have too!” she said with a huff.

Kaley shook her head rapidly and waved her hands in front of her face.

“No, no I don’t! I don’t want my Dad’s to kill him!” she said lowering her voice a bit.

Kira sighed again and stood.

“Kay, all I’m saying is don’t let him go, before you know. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play some music.” She said grabbing her guitar and heading towards the doors.

Kaley stood up quickly tossing her trash.

“I’m coming with you.” She said as she grabbed her bag.

Kira nodded and slung an arm over her shoulder with a big smile.

“That’s my girl!” she said with smile directed at her.

Kaley laughed and nodded, going to pull her jacket from her bag she paused.

“Crap, I must have left it in Winslow’s, I’ll just be a minute you go get started.” Kaley told her friend as she turned and ran back to the school.

Kira laughed as she walked to a picnic table and sat down to start playing, Kaley shook her head at her friend’s laughter but kept running. Getting into the school and turning down the history and science department halls she slid to a stop outside her History teachers’ class and knocked.

“Come in!” was called.

“Hey Mr. Winslow, I was wondering if you saw my jacket? I can’t find it.” She asked ducking into the classroom.

Mr. Winslow paused and then nodded.

“Yes, its still at your seat I believe.” He said offering her a smile.

She sighed in relief and ran over to her chair, grabbing her jacket from where it had gotten stuck in the little basket.

“Thanks Mr. Winslow! I’ll see you tomorrow!” Kaley called as she ran out of the room and back towards the yard.

She had almost made it when Three kids surrounded her.

“What do you want, Benson?” she asked looking towards the obvious leader of the group with a sigh.

He huffed and looked at the other two.

“Look at that guys, she thinks she can talk to me like that!” He said with a cackle.

Kaley sighed and waited, watching them as they laughed. Benson got up into her face.

“What freak? Not entertaining enough for you?” He asked snidely.

Kaley rolled her eyes and placing a hand on the center of his chest and shoved him and his foul breath away from her.

“No, I’m just waiting for you to get bored so I can go back to what I need to do.” She said her voice soft and bored sounding.

That was clearly the wrong thing to say as Benson, in classic bad guy movie fashion, snapped his fingers and the other two jumped grabbing her arms as he punched her in the face. Kaley rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Is that it? Because, that was rather weak.” She said even as blood dripped from her nose and split lip.

Bensons goons tightened their hold on her, and he came up and punched her a few more times, once in the eye, once on the cheek and once in her stomach, she huffed a bit but didn’t do anything else.

“What freak? Not going to yell out?” Benson cackled.

“No, why would I when none of that hurt?” She returned the question, as she felt her face and stomach throb.

Benson huffed and walked back a few steps back turned to her, before he spun and locked eyes with his buddies and her.

“You just don’t want to worry your freaky fag dad.” He said.

And that was one thing to many. In the blink of an eye, the two holding her where on the ground in various forms of pain. Kaley herself was sat on Benson beating the ever-loving daylights out of him.

“Don’t. You. Ever. Call. My. Dad. That. Again!” she screamed each word punctuated with a punch.

Benson couldn’t even respond, he just kept trying to block the hits, but blood was spraying everywhere, and he looked more like raw-meat then human. Just as she was about to punch him again a pair of hands wrapped around her and pulled her off him. She turned her glare onto the one who had stopped her only to freeze when she came face to face with her Dad, Principle Randall behind him with Kira and two others.

“I think it goes without saying that she has at least a weeks’ worth of detention.” Randall said looking at her Dad.

He nodded a pinched look on his face.

“Kaley, go straight to my room.” He said setting her down on the floor.

“Dad…I...” She tried but her Dad gave her a soft glare.

“Go. Now.” He said firmly.

Kaley nodded and with a mumbled “Yes sir.” She turned and headed back down the hallway, stopping at her Dads room she opened the door and closed it softly, moving to sit at one of the tables, she huffed sitting down. She looked down at the floor, feeling both tired now that the adrenaline was leaving her, and upset that she had upset her Dad by doing what she did. She looked up for a second before dropping her eyes again when she heard the door open. Her Dad pulled a stool from another table and sat in front of her.

“I managed to talk Randall out of suspending you. But you do have Detention starting today for the next two weeks.” He said softly.

Kaley nodded not trusting her voice as she sniffled wincing at the pain in her face. Her Dad sighed and lifted her head, carefully wiping the blood and tears from her face.

“You never fight like that, especially when you don’t know if the other person has had any training. What caused it?” He asked her.

Kaley sniffled thickly.

“He insulted you, and I got angry.” She said softly.

Her Dad smiled gently at her, hugging her tightly.

“Oh sweetheart.” He said softly.

She wrapped her arms around him trying not to stain his jacket.

“I’m sorry Dad, I just…I got so mad. He doesn’t know you! He can’t say that!” She said crying softly.

Tommy rubbed her back and kissed her head.

“I know Sweetheart. I know. But you can’t do that at school, or anywhere. Fighting is never the answer. What’s our rules with training?” Tommy asked her gently.

Kaley sniffled and sighed.

“Martial arts are only for defense never to attack, never escalate a fight.” Kaley said softly.

Tommy nodded.

“Exactly. Although it looks like you tried not to escalate things.” He said softly.

Kaley nodded.

“No, he punched me four times and insulted me a bunch before I even reacted. Not that I really could at first with his buddies holding my arms.” She said agreeing with his statement.

Her dad sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You know we have to tell your Poppa.” He said gently.

Kaley nodded.

“I know. I really am sorry I got into a fight.” She said just as softly.

He nodded and hugged her again, before pulling her to her feet.

“I know you are.” He said gently.

*a few hours later*

“And here are your delinquents, your personal one included.” Randall said as the group of four walked into the room, and took seats.

“Really, I wanted to go to the museum.” Her Dad said looking at her.

“Good, take them with you educational and boring perfect.” She said walking quickly from the room.

Tommy groaned before turning to face them.

“Alright guys, let’s head out.” He said grabbing his suitcase as the kids grabbed their bags.

Kaley grabbed her bag and walked towards the door. Looking back at the others with a sigh she headed towards the parking lot.

“What’s her problem?” she heard the jock ask, glancing back she saw the one with the computer always present shrug.

“She got into a fist fight, got hurt and got in trouble. Why don’t you be nicer.” Kira said with a huff as she picked up her pace to catch up to Kaley.

“Hey, just let them go. They don’t know me its fine.” Kaley said softly as she threw her bag into the front seat of her Dad’s Jeep.

Kira tossed her bag in the back seat before looking at her.

“Still its not right that they’re talking about you, you’ve got enough stuff going on.” Kira said looking at her.

Kaley shrugged and climbed into the jeep.

“Wait, why does she get the front?” the jock asked again.

Kaley shot him a glare.

“It is my Dad’s Jeep.” She said with no room for argument.

“One fights enough for today isn’t it?” Her dad asked as he climbed in.

She nodded and turned back to the front as the other all got in the back. With that Tommy started the Jeep and took off headed towards the museum. Most of the time spent in silence and when they arrived her dad let out a long sigh.

“Looks like its closed.” He said looking around.

“Oh, well looks like that’s it, detentions over and we should really be getting back.” Kira said turning back towards the Jeep.

Tommy turned and looked at her with that smile on his face that meant he had a plan. Kaley sighed and rolled her sleeves up a bit knowing where this was going to go.

“Alright, how about you guys look around, try to find anything even remotely historic and I’ll cancel detention for the next week. While I try and figure out why the museum is closed.” Tommy said muttering the last bit to himself.

The others groaned even as they took off towards the side of the museum, Kaley hanging back for a second.

“Just don’t break in, I don’t think Poppa wants another call about one of us in trouble today.” She said with a small smile as she moved to follow the others.

Her Dad turned and gave her a smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m just going to look for any information.” He said.

She nodded and turned to the path. After a while of listening to the boy’s bicker, she huffed and walked passed them.

“Hey what’s your rush, sweetheart.” The jock called.

Kaley froze at his words and spun around; in three quick steps she was standing in front of him. She raised a hand and poked his chest backing him up with each poke.

“Listen here, I don’t care who the fuck you are. But my name is Kaley. Get it fucking right or I’ll make what I did to Benson look like child’s play.” She hissed softly.

He put his hands up and nodded. She sighed and turned back around. They kept walking for a few minutes before Ethan the one with the computer spoke up louder than before.

“Fine but don’t look at me when you fall into a sink hole or something.” He called out as Conner the jock walked on ahead.

Conner shook his head when there was a rumble and the ground collapsed out from under them. They landed in a heap at the bottom, except for Kaley who as soon as the ground dropped, she tucked and hit with a roll. She stood up and looked at the others.

“Are you all ok?” she asked them, as they started to stand up.

They nodded and started looking around. After a few seconds Conner looked at them all.

“I’ll climb up the wall, go get Dr. Oliver and be back soon.” He said looking up at the wall.

Kaley snorted as Ethan gave him a look.

“Why are you going?” he asked.

“I’m the most athletic.” Conner said puffing his chest out with pride.

“Alright Mr. Tough guy. You go ahead and climb the wall and when you fall, I’ll tell you why you failed.” Kaley said with a soft snort and a laugh.

Conner shot her a glare as they backed up and he started climbing up the wall. Very quickly he fell back down landing hard on his back. Kaley moved to stand over him.

“One, its old rock. Two, its old sandstone making it weaker than other stones from time and erosion. Three, you’re not the most athletic, you’re just the one who plays sports on a school team. Now can you stand, or did you break yourself?” she asked looking down at the boy still on the ground.

Conner groaned but rolled to his feet standing up.

“Good, now let’s try and find another way out.” She said turning towards the tunnel at the far side of the cave.

“What did you mean, I’m not the most athletic?” Conner asked a little bit later, after gaining Kira’s wrath by calling her babe.

Kaley shot him a look and rolled her shoulders.

“I’ve been doing Martial Arts since I was five. Could I have even made it out of the hole? Maybe. But most probably not. The stone was to old and the ground to wet. But that’s not important. The fact is I am much more athletic then you I just don’t believe in the institution that is school sports.” Kaley said as she slipped her hands into her jacket pockets.

“Oh.” Conner said trailing off.

They walked in silence for a while longer before coming to a cave or a control room. Everyone looked around.

“This must be like the mothership for you dude.” Conner said looking at Ethan.

“Normally id be insulted. But when your right your right and right now, your right.” Ethan said dazedly.

Kaley was to busy looking at the consoles to pay much attention and she huffed out a sigh, she’d know these monitors anywhere.

“Guys look!” Kira called.

That drew everyone’s attention to a central raised pillar, where four stones sat. the four of them walked down to it and looked at the stones that were there.

“What do you think they are?” Kaley asked looking at the to her grey stones.

The others shrugged and Conner reached out to grab one by him, Ethen tossed his hand out.

“Dude what are you doing?” He asked looking at Conner.

Conner shrugged and looked at the other three.

“Look I’ve been in enough Science classes to know those things are major prehistoric.” He said.

Kira bit her lip.

“I hate to agree with him, trust me I do. But I’ve already missed one practice so.” She said reaching forward.

Kaley took a deep breath and reached out too.

“I’ve got another week beyond you guys anyways, but I can’t miss study sessions with Trent and training with Poppa because you’re nervous, Ethan.” Kaley said softly.

With all three of them against him Ethan nodded and together they took the four gems that sat there.

“What are they?” Conner asked voicing the question again after the gems glowed slightly.

Ethan shrugged looking at his gem.

“I don’t know, I can get on the computer later and look them up?” He suggested.

Conner faked a gasp.

“You, on the computer? Let me put on my surprised face!” He said voice heavy with sarcasm.

Kira turned and walked away.

“Hey where are you going?” Kaley called looking at her.

She turned back and raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to see what kind of freak lives in a place like this.” She said as she turned back to walking.

The boys nodded and headed after her. Kaley taking an extra second listening in the silence. Above her she could hear footsteps and soft talking. She shook her head.

“Hey you coming?” Ethan called as he stuck his head back around the corner.

She nodded and moved to follow them.

“Yeah, just wanted to make sure we didn’t trigger alarms or anything.” She said as they walked down the path.

They figured a way out and started back through the forest when they started to be followed by weird creatures. With a nod they all took off running through the forest, Kaley and Conner leading the pack with Ethan next followed by Kira, who fell in a ditch. The others doubled back and helped her up. As they where running Kira fell again and they were to far away to do anything. Kaley turned and jumped up kicking off a tree to try and get closer, but Kira let out a loud piercing screech. Kaley landed in a crouch near her and covered her ears. They all decided to ask questions later and got Kira back up as they ran back through the forest. Kaley turned and got separated from the others.

“Not good.” She said as she went into a guarding stance seeing creatures all around her.

Without a thought as the monsters came at her she jumped and dodged their hits, skidding across the ground she flipped seeing the monsters close in on her she threw her hands up. Two large tornado strength winds flew from her hands and knocked them back away from her, she jumped up and looked at her hands for a second before looking around smiling and shaking her head.

“Time to play.” She said throwing her hands out again, this time lighting shot from one hand and the other caused branches and things to slam down into the enemies.

“That was so cool!” Kaley cried out with a grin as she took off running to try and find the others.

She cleared the forest and found Conner.

“Oh, goodie it’s you, any idea where the others are at?” she asked.

Conner shook his head.

“No, they must still be in there.” Conner said.

Kaley looked back at the forest.

“With those things.” Kaley said nodding at the monsters on the ground.

With that they ran back into the forest finding Kira and Ethan unharmed and just finding each other.

“That was.” Ethan said looking down at his arms.

“Incredible?” Kaley suggested.

“Freaky?” Kira said.

“Cool.” Conner said with a nod.

Ethan nodded.

“All of the above.” He said in amazement.

Kaley laughed and shook her head as the group started back towards the road.

“We don’t tell anyone. Right?” Conner said looking at the rest of them.

They all nodded just as they found the road.

“Hey guys, any luck?” Tommy asked looking at them.

They all glanced at each other, shaking their heads.

“No, no luck.” Conner said speaking for all of them.

“What about you Dad?” Kaley asked looking at him.

He shook his head.

“No, come on. We should get back.” He said and they all headed back to the car.

After a while they were back in town and dropping the others off.

“Dad wait! Please? He wasn’t in school today.” Kaley said pointing to Trent.

Her Dad nodded and parked the car.

“Make it quick, ok?” He said looking at her.

She nodded and unbuckled her belt as she ran from the Jeep.

“Trent!” Kaley called running towards him.

He turned and looked at her, with a smile. Kaley wrapped her arms around him.

“Are you ok? Where were you? Why weren’t you in school?” She asked pulling back slightly.

Trent laughed and shook his head.

“I’m ok. I was home. I woke up and wasn’t feeling great you know how my allergies are.” Trent said looking just passed her.

Kaley’s mind flashed back to what Kira had said earlier, and she looked down at the ground.

“I probably won’t be able to make our study sessions for the next little while.” She said softly.

Trent shot her a look.

“What? Why not?” He asked her.

She shrugged and looked up giving him the first proper look at her face with the bruised cheek, busted lip and slightly swollen eye and nose.

“I got into a little fight today at school.” She said looking passed him.

Trent reached up and ran a hand gently across her cheek.

“Little fight?” He asked.

“You should see Benson.” She said with a dry humorless laugh.

Trent sucked in a breath and pulled her in close.

“You ok?” He asked.

She shook her head.

“Nah, I hurt. I have detention for two weeks, Dads disappointed and I’m sure Poppa is too. Just been a long day.” She said softly.

Trent nodded and looked passed her.

“Hey, looks like your Dad wants to go.” He said.

She turned and waved to her Dad before turning back and nodding.

[whump-town]

In His Eyes

Warning: abuse, mental health, lots of talk about food and starvation, hospital, suicide attempt, suicidal ideations, cutting, and self-harm, cursing, and it’s just very dark

Listen, this might be a little much. The themes are dark and it’s far from a happy story

Main Characters Are Aaron Hotchner, Jessica Brooks, and Haley Hotchner

Probably OOC but I don’t care

His pulse is slow against her fingers but there. She calls 911, sobbing. Choking around the weight of his name on her tongue. Will they let her back this time? To hold his hand? He gets nightmares. He won’t like being alone. “He’s--He’s twenty-two,” she rasps, brushing his hair from his eyes. “This is his first year of law school.” And he’s so fucking smart. She needs them to know that. He’s kind. Always remembers her favorite foods and makes her laugh. He’s just a kid. They’re just kids and he’s the only person she’s ever loved. So, they have to help. Please, God, just help.

Final warning for themes of abuse, mental health, food, starvation, hospitals, suicide attempts, suicidal ideations, cutting, and self-harm

Word count: 9,137

For as long as Jessica Brookes has known her brother, he’s had the thin scars marring the pale, milky flesh of his arms. The first time she’d seen them, she was sixteen too old to play stupid but too afraid to call them what they were. At the time, he hadn’t been her brother. In fact, to the world, he had been no one at all. A ghost that walked the halls of their high school with his pained, sluggish movements and seemingly unseeing eyes. Sweaters dripping down his skinny frame and jeans that were made to fit someone nearly double his size. But, for what little credit it’s worth, no one had ever said a thing about him. He was no one. Nothing.

Haley had seen past all of that. Of course, she had. Haley had never loved anything whole. She drank from cracked plastic straws for fear of what would happen should she leave them behind. Thrown out, that’s what. The world has no use for a straw that can not do it’s one feasible job. Not to Haley, though. Their father used to call her Saint Haley, the patron saint of the discarded. And naturally, Haley clung to the idea of Saint Jude. Another lost soul, seemingly just like her, out there to collect others. A reminder that even the lost aren’t alone and that they may not be as lost as they think. And so how could any of them be surprised when Haley, who hung the moon and stairs, brought home her own lost being? Stumbling in clothes too large for his lithe frame and stinking of booze and cigarettes.

Aaron Hotchner has no place in their home. Jessica had been unwavering in this. Look at him. A semester ago, he’d been kicked off the track team for pot. He can’t even go out and get drunk with everyone else. He smokes cheap cigarettes out behind the Miller’s barn and, thought no one could prove it, they all blamed him for the dead birds and cat half-buried in the woods by the school. How could it not be him? With those large, trembling hands and his inability to stay away from trouble. How many fights had he been in this year? How many times had Jessica come from one of her classes to find the student body surrounding his bowed back as he sat over the hips of another boy, mercilessly beating him? So, how could that dirty boy be worth her sister? If she’d asked him, he’d answer her with the same thought Jessica knew better than to speak around Haley. He doesn’t.

So, how could any of this add up? Aaron Hotchner like a straw bent with damage has good in him too. Jessica had never seen the other boys. The way they pick and preen at him. Smacking his head and kicking at his ankles. Calling names at his back. The teachers never do a damn thing and why should they? He’s not the smartest kid in their classes. He sits in the back. Turns in mediocre work. He doesn’t get encouragement. “I know you’re capable of more than this, Aaron.” No, he gets sighs and shaking heads. So, when he takes action. Thrown to the end of his line, he is the bad guy. Because Aaron Hotchner is just the kid no one likes. His father’s name is the only thing keeping him from getting expelled. No one ever cares to see how he flinches from his father’s touch or the pain in his eyes when new bruises form across his body. Because they don’t care. But Haley. Haley cared and her love had been her one and only rebellion.

Jessica had been the sort to fall for the beauty of rebellion, not Haley. Her first boyfriend had been a biker, a senior who would break her heart. Rolling with anger at her father’s words, that she might be too young to know anything about love, had fallen head over heels for a girl in her biology class. And while she hadn’t given a thing to her senior ex-boyfriend of three months, she gave everything to that girl. Sarah Halls with her bright brown eyes and soft blonde hair. Which had effectively taken much of the heat off of Haley and Aaron. While that had not been the intended outcome, Jessica hadn’t minded taking it for his little sister. She’d found it entirely worth it when Sarah broke up with her a year and a half later. Which, to a heartbroken sixteen-year-old, had been everything. Years and years to which she could never get back. So she did what broken people do and spiraled into every self-destructive tendency she could think, that she could buy.

And Aaron had found her. Sweet Aaron with those thoughtless brown eyes and haggard discoloration over his exhausted face. She had slapped him when he first attempted to collect her. Sloppy drunk, high, and convinced that the world should just end right here. This misery she felt unmoving and forever. Despite what could be assumed about his body beneath those oversized sweaters, old and worn year-round, he is strong. While she kicked, crying, and distraught, he had lifted her into his arms and taken her. One arm under her legs and the other braced against her back. Not so much as a blink, not a frown, or scowl of pain. He had simply looked to Haley, waiting for her to direct him. Slowly, shocked by both of them, Haley had opened the car door and allowed Aaron to place Jessica in.

She’d never forget that night. The way he’d crouched on the floor in front of her bed and wiped her make-up away while Haley held her. His eyes, she discovered, were not unseeing. Darkened with his focus, she could see every thought cross through his mind. The kind, gentle strokes of the rag in his hand over her nose and across her lips. Loving.

“Aaron?”

He had startled as if expecting her to be past the point of cohesiveness. She knew, later, he hadn’t even known that she knew his name. What had she called him in the months since Haley brought him home? Had she ever really looked at him? Allowed herself to even think about learning to love him with even a fraction of the devotion Haley has? Now, those eyes darting between hers, he hums. As he often does.

Gently, slowly (with the same apprehension she’d watched Haley show each time she reached for him) Jessica places her clammy palm to his cheek. He stiffens beneath her fingertips but doesn’t avert his gaze or move to pull away. “Thank you,” she whispers, dragging her fingers against his cheeks. Here, she can see more than she needs to. The deep scar on his cheek and another that runs with his jaw. How each movement of the rag moves the sleeves on his shirt just enough to allow her a hint of what lies beneath. The skin of his wrist raised. Scarred.

She looks back at his face. Haley and Aaron may only be slightly younger than her but they seem like babies here. Now. “I’ll still kill you if you hurt my baby sister,” she whispers, closing her eyes with a smile. She hears his soft puffing laughter as if a hand in his chest squeezes his lungs tightly to stop any real noise. And she realizes she’s never heard him laugh. Real, deep, unhinged. Haley squeezes her stomach and she’s pulled back to them.

When Haley is sixteen and Aaron seventeen (Jessica nineteen and struggling through the second and last year of college), his father dies. Mopping up her tears with a coffee-stained napkin, Jessica’s attention had quickly been turned upside down. How could she waste her worries on Sociology when all she can see is Aaron's skinny little wrists and the scars on his face. The bruises up and down his back. Skeletal, sweet Aaron. She returns home as quickly as she can. Though she out-right refuses it the first time, her best friend gives her money for the bus fare. Her father could not spare her the money. She’s only in college because of a scholarship, they just have the money to spare. No matter how many times Haley called, voice thick with tears, and promising things were okay there at home could Jessica stand to believe her. So she took the money.

She arrived back to their silent quaint town on Tuesday to find Aaron had been in the hospital since Saturday. Refusing to eat or move. Restrained like an animal. She might have thrown a fit. Maybe she should have. The nurses stand at the doors of the intensive care unit and inform her that the floor has strict rules. That Haley can not come back. They don’t allow minors onto the floor but had they not broken that very rule allowing Aaron in? So, why not let the rules slip one more time? For Haley, for Aaron, unless they really want to watch that boy die. Is that what they want? And still, they declined her. Sensing the end of the nurse’s patience Jessica had pulled herself together and succumbed. Fine, yes, she’ll go back. Just her.

And there he is. Sweet Aaron. With those eyes and the bruises. The hospital gown leaves nothing to the imagination. She’s nineteen and he’s seventeen. Children. Too young for the pain of life and the coil of death. It isn’t until this moment that she realizes she loves him. There had been a time when she thought it was even crazy that she might love Haley. So, she’d been startled and hesitant with the idea of being inclined to love Haley’s future spouse. And it would not matter if Haley and Aaron broke-up today, she would still love him. As she suspects Haley would too. Because Aaron is a fighter and there’s something about him that just draws you in. Perhaps it’s the surprise he exhibits when you’re kind to him. Taken aback by gentleness and love. Never understanding how you might have come to love his thoughtfulness. Him.

“What are you doing?” The room is silent. There is no need for a heart monitor, just the IV fluids snaking into the back of his hand. Her father had told her about the doctor’s threatening an NG tube which, at seventeen, he doesn’t have the legal authority to deny. So, if this tirade of his goes on he’ll have to suffer through the procedure. But she knows not to waste her time on a speech about his actions and their consequences. Aaron isn’t stupid.

The moons of distress under his dark eyes look daunting on his handsome face. He’d grown into his body while she was away and it had made her proud to see. Her mother’s apple pies had done wonders for him. Having a steady place to come home to, even if it’s the couch in their living room, had transformed him. Now, he takes a moment to understand her. All the weight he’d put on melted right back off. “I’m tired,” he answers. It requires a breath that pulls his shoulders to his ears. His thin, pale lips parting.

She wants to scream at him. Of course, you’re tired! When was the last time you ate? The last night you slept through? But she looks back at those eyes, little mirrors filled with tears, and she leans down and kisses his forehead. It requires no thought, no hesitation to pull him to her. To wrap her arms around him. He pushes his head against her chest, face pressed into her sweater. “I’m sorry,” he whispers thickly. And with her eyes closed, she apologies too. For not coming back sooner. For not being here when they needed her.

“I know,” she answers, running her fingers through the back of his hair. He sleeps and she stays right there. He wakes a few times. Mouth too dry to speak but those dark eyes are always seeing. Always taking in every bit of information he can. She doesn’t leave. Sometimes she’s reading from textbooks. Stalking around the end of his bed with a phone in her hand, angrily speaking to whoever it is on the other end of the line. He looks up and finds her sleeping a lot. Her long legs pulled onto the chair with her and he wished he could move. Find the strength to wake her and move her to the bed.

His mother never comes. Sean calls but it’s bitter and Jessica can see how upset Aaron is getting so she hastens it’s end. Those calls stop coming when Jessica can properly defend that they only make him worse. Proof that getting better isn’t linear even though she wishes for it to be. She just wants Monday when he eats a snack and laughs at her silly joke for Wednesday to come and him still to be light. Not wrapped like a tight coil, arms around his stomach and crying in pain. But health isn’t linear and Aaron has never done anything the easy way.

Three months. For three months after his father’s death, Aaron sits in that hospital. He spends a month in the ICU and two more in general. Seeing Haley both helps and impedes. Jessica finds herself parenting the both of them. Leading Haley to show her when Aaron needs them to step in versus when it’s just best to leave him to his own devices. Because it looks cruel but he needs the silence. Slowly, he finds his feet once again but he’s fallen behind in school and if he wants to graduate on time he’ll have to spend all summer making it up.

But that wasn’t the problem with Virginia summer’s.

“Aren’t you hot?”

Wearing his signature long sleeve, Aaron goes without comment to help Roy dig the ponds up. He hasn’t spoken since being released but he didn’t speak too much before. It’s hardly noticeable to anyone but Jessica and Haley but they both have their own problems to attend to. Jessica is once again taking their heat with her larger news: she’s dropping out of college. So, Aaron’s silence has taken the back burner.

Looking down at his clothed arms, Aaron shakes his head. Continues digging.

Jessica looks up from the porch, waiting for the moment she needs to step in. Legs outstretched on the wooden swing, Jessica looks at the words on her book but takes nothing in. She’s pretending to read. Her father pushes Aaron some more. Offering a tank top or even just a white t-shirt.

“It’s too hot for all that nonsense,” Roy comments, motioning to Aaron’s worn sweater.

Before Aaron can even start doing his rapid, panicked blinking Jessica clears her throat from the porch. “Stop patronizing him, dad.”

Roy huffs but lays off.

For that exact moment, she’s the hero but she’s just a coward. Too afraid to allow the conversation on. Perhaps she should have let her father push him a little more. Make Aaron realize what he’s doing to himself. What he’s doing to all of them. Things aren’t what they used to be. He’s not alone. Can’t he see that?

No. He can’t see that. What he sees is a family he’s not a part of. Painfully reminded around every twist and turn just how alone he is. On Christmas the traditions of theirs that he stumbles over. He’s never decorated a Christmas tree or baked an apple pie. Haley does it without blinking, smiling to encourage him along but he just doesn’t know.

They change. He graduates on time and a year later she does too. With Jessica right there, always encouraging, and positive they both go to college. Haley falls for the science of psychology and Aaron falls head over heels for political science.  

For four years its as if that boy never existed. He gets a second wind. A new chance.

But the damage is there and habits are so hard to beat.

Haley comes home early from class. Tuesdays usually mean her days don’t end until nearly seven at night. She’s got study hall and a sophomore that she tutors in Chemistry. Today, the kid had canceled their appointment, and the snow forced her home. Coming in, she’d been excited to find his coat already on the rack. Eagerly she’d torn through their tiny apartment to find him. He wasn’t in the kitchen, despite that being his favorite room in the house. He seems to always be making something, perpetually hungry. The living room had his things, briefcase open, and papers a mess. He can’t seem to think in clean rooms, always has to dirty them up. Their room was barren, not even his half of the bed disturbed. Leaving the bathroom.

Knocking against the solid door, she eases the doorknob open when he doesn’t call out. “Aaron?” Something deep had ached in her chest when she saw the living room. The papers wrong or maybe his shoes discarded almost looking tripped over? Desperate. The apartment felt desolate, cold. Stepping in her breath catches in a gasp, “Aaron!” Sinking to her knees beside the tub, she pulls him up. Moving his face from where he’s so dangerously allowed it to sink into the warmth of the water. Clutched in his hand, submerged beneath the water, a single bottle of Advil.

He’d bought it only two weeks ago. She’d been there, right beside him. Budgeting has been hard and she could see the apprehension in his face when they’d stopped near the aisle. She had mistaken it for fear that they didn’t have the money to waste on something like Advil and now she can’t help but wonder if he’d wondered something else. Would Advil be painless? How fast would it be? But she’d taken his hand and squeezed it, reassuring him a bottle of Advil would be okay. He was getting headaches, bad ones. She assumed he was just too worried to admit he needed them. She hadn’t thought he was suicidal but when has she ever been able to hear the thoughts racing through his mind?

“Aaron,” she runs her knuckles across his sternum. No. No, she hadn’t thought he was suicidal but had she ever really thought he was okay? Don’t be stupid, she’d think, as she sat in the library late at night. Reading books, consuming every bit of knowledge she could obtain without ever admitting to herself that maybe, just maybe the man she’s loved since she was fifteen might be suicidal. Not Aaron who lights up rooms and loves picnics and, on more than one occasion, has woken up to climb onto the roof and watch the sunrise. But maybe he’s not in love with life enough to want to stay here. “Aaron,” she calls, her clothes as soaked as his. “Wake up, baby.”

His pulse is slow against her fingers but there. She calls 911, sobbing. Choking around the weight of his name on her tongue. Will they let her back this time? To hold his hand? He gets nightmares. He won’t like being alone. “He’s--He’s twenty-two,” she rasps, brushing his hair from his eyes. “This is his first year of law school.” And he’s so fucking smart. She needs them to know that. He’s kind. Always remembers her favorite foods and makes her laugh. He’s just a kid. They’re just kids and he’s the only person she’s ever loved. So, they have to help. Please, God, just help.

At the hospital, they give him so much medicine that she can’t even think straight. The whites of his eyes all she can see as a nurse guides Haley through what they’re doing. “It’s a seizure,” the nurse says, unwavering as she watches Aaron’s body jerk and shake. Everyone works around him but no one touches him. Simply moves things away from where he might hit them. “Tell me about him.” She puts herself between Haley and Aaron, averting Haley’s gaze so she doesn’t have to watch the staff move him. Hurt him.

Haley struggles to come up with a thing. “When we were seventeen he--he stopped eating,” Haley manages. Maybe, that will help? “He was hospitalized. He almost died.” Suddenly, all Haley wants is Jessica. Her sister to pull them out of this mess like she always does. Protecting them.

The nurse shakes her head. “No,” she clarifies. “No, tell me about him.”

About Aaron. “He loves blueberry pancakes,” she chokes, an inappropriate laugh forcing its way up. “Really loves them.” She smiles and the nurse nods, smiling too. It’s easier to think of him like this. The boy who used to climb up a tree outside her dorm to wave at her from her window. “He will make himself sick eating them.” His childhood had been so bleak, so bland. He’d known only oatmeal as a breakfast food. The first time her mother made them, he’d eaten so many he had been sick and she’d sat right by his side rubbing his back. “Still,” she adds with a shake of her head. “To this day, twenty years old and he still makes himself sick eating blueberry pancakes. Like--” she starts to cry. “Like he’s afraid you’ll take them away.”

Standing in that emergency room, Haley wonders how much of what she knows about Aaron is true.

“Has he tried to do this before?”

He wants to be a lawyer. A better man than his father putting away the bad guys and fixing the system. He’ll never graduate. No one wants a suicidal lawyer. She’s torn between morals. He’s spent the last few years fighting for this and this one silly mistake could unravel it all. Just a silly mistake. “No,” she chokes. “No, he’s not-- he’s not suicidal. He gets migraines.” She looks up from the tiled floor. “He had a migraine. That’s all. He forgot how many he took and I wasn’t there. I should have been there. He was just confused. I told him to take a bath. Really, he was just confused. That’s all.” Haley had never been good at lying.

They leave her, after that, perhaps having realized they won’t get anything from her. The truth will not come from her, not today. She ignores the tired look they give her when she asks for a note to give Aaron’s professors. So that she can get his work or maybe just make sure he’s not being too penalized. And again, as the doctor signs, he asks if Aaron’s ever done anything like this. “This--this accident.” And she knows exactly what he’s doing. Trying to guide her to the right answer. Her answer is solid. No. Never. And she leaves him to go sit with Aaron.

The nurses come in and out. Looking but never saying. They move over his body and he lets them so long as she is there. Within reach and she always is. She finds magazines and books and spends too much of her time convincing herself that if he’d meant it, she would have noticed. That everyone else is wrong. If the signs are there then it’s not that hard to notice! Fuck this cognitivie dissonance. She’s smart. She would see.

Right?

He’s just smoking more because he’s stressed out.

Normal college students struggle to balance a sleep schedule.

Aaron is always withdrawn.

He’s moody because he’s not sleeping.

These signs aren’t meant for him. They mean nothing. And she repeats it again and again until she starts to believe it. The signs don’t mean anything.

Now, she stands with her back to Aaron. Her arms crossed on her chest, finding the courage to dare them to question her. What lie will she conjure for the fresh cuts on his arm? Not even healed. Probably done last night in the bathroom with the kit he taped to the bottom of the sink. With the razors she pretends not to see wrapped in toilet paper. But she’s afraid to say something. They’ve been together for half a decade and he’s only just now started sleeping without a shirt. Only just allowed her to see his body. The cuts and the scars both from his own hand and his father’s.

But they don’t say anything. Perhaps it’s too taboo but no one says anything.

The signs mean nothing. He smokes because he always has. He’s withdrawn because he always has been. Aaron is and always has been these signs. So, he’s fine.

He’s fine.

They get married at the end of the next semester. He’s had months to recover but the body isn’t so quick to forgive. His voice is rough from where they had to intubate him for so long but the therapist all assure them that with time his voice will lose its rasp and he’ll sound like himself again. His classmates poke at him for his “time-off” and he’d prefer they think him a spoiled brat off partying than what he really is. A disaster. One misstep away from trying again.

He never voices this. He doesn’t tell the therapists or Haley.

“I want to apply to the academy.”

Marriage is not even marginally the hardest thing he’s been forced to understand. He knows what he’s doing when he makes Haley his sole beneficiary-- asides from his textbooks which he wants to go to Jessica because she’s still bitter he “wasted” himself with the bitterness of law. But marriage is easy. Giving himself is second nature. He never thinks about the little things she clings to. How he always remembers to put the seat down and cooks dinner or washes the dishes. He’s not normal.

But this sudden change of pace takes her by surprise. “The-- The academy?” At first, she thinks of films and actors and actresses. That sort of academy but bitterly, sickly she remembers how close they are to Quantico. About David Rossi & Jason Gideon, who he met two weeks ago and hasn’t stopped talking about since. There’s a flush to his face, excitement she hasn’t seen in the longest time. And she wants to say yes but she can’t be certain this isn’t some new method he’s found to hurt himself.

He nods, shoveling corn and green beans into his mouth. Happy, she realizes. He’s happy.

“It’ll be in the fall so I’d have a few more months left with the District Attorney.”

No. She wants to say no so badly. The last thing they need is a gun. As if she doesn’t already check the knives over, counting and recounting the razors he uses to shave. Convinced he’ll try again. But she can’t say no because she doesn’t have a good reason. They’re financially stable. She’s working at a school only down the street and joining the academy won’t be taxing. It’ll be a bit of a money cut but he’s not making bank with the DA anyhow. He’s too smart to fail the courses but, as twisted as she knows it is, she thinks he’ll get hung up. He’ll need a physical and have to pass psych evaluations. There’s no way they let him through. 

“Okay,” she decides, returning back to dinner. It kills her to see him smirk and celebrate while she sits certain that they won’t allow him in. There she plans what she will do to protect him of the recoil. Of what will, undoubtedly, occur. A safety net that he can fall into.

But the call comes and the cake she’d been making-- vanilla with rainbow sprinkles and blueberry pancakes cooling by it’s side-- to console him turns into a celebratory one. He’s done it. Training and evals, passed. Made records won awards. She’s got herself one hell of a federal agent.

Jessica comes down, smiling and with a bag in hand. She hates this development nearly as much as Haley but is much better at hiding it. “Look at you,” Jessica mumbles in amazement. She turns him over, fingers finding his hardened muscles through the sleeves of his sweater. Looking for something, anything to clue her in one what’s happening behind his dark eyes but all she sees is happiness and she can’t help but wonder how long that will last. “You were nothing but a scrawny kid and they’ve turned you into a man and a half.”

There it is, that half-strangled puff of laughter. He smiles, dimples, and chin, and whole face. A man, she is reminded, not that fifteen-year-old prone to drinking in the woods and getting knocked down in the halls. He quit smoking that month and Haley did too. For once, he started taking care of himself. Not as if he never had before but suddenly there were just things he did that he had never before.

He stopped cutting. Which had been harder than losing the cigarettes. She only noticed in passing and could never really pride him on the achievement. Never draw attention to it. But she’d see the scabs healing when he wrapped an arm around her bare hips. Eventually, there were no scabs. Only scars.

“I love you,” she reminds him because she’s not sure if this will last.

And his eyes always twinkle just a little when she says it. Pleasantly surprised each time. “I love you too.”

He gets posted in Seattle and as they’re preparing for the move she watches him closely. As it turns out, she’s the one afraid not him. The world seems to open up, right then, for him and selfishly she thinks about everything she’s just left behind. No, she realizes. It’s not selfish. She worries about him, he worries about her. She’s worried about herself and he worries about himself. It’s a balance and no good things come without a little give.

Seattles is okay.

She tutors a young boy with epilepsy that has fallen behind do to a spout of recent hospitalization. He reminds her so feverishly of Aaron that she naturally takes to him. His name is Sam and his hair is blonde and his eyes the same soft brown as Aaron’s. He’s smart and funny one day and sad and silent the next. The last decade she’s spent living at Aaron’s side has made her ambidextrous to this behaviour and she doesn’t blink.

Aaron spends his days folded into case files, not all that different from when they were in Virginia but he’s lighter. They both are. He doesn’t seem even bothered by the rain. Smiling each time he comes in soaked to the bone to chase her around, shaking the rain from his hair onto her.

One night, she rolls over and attaches herself to his back. She’s antsy and he’s an insomniac so she’s not too surprised when he tangles his fingers with hers over his stomach and hums to answer the question she hasn’t asked yet.  Breath ghosting over the back of his neck, she asks, “Do you still want to have kids?”

He chuckles, turning slightly so she can see the silhouette of his nose and lips as he answers her. “Mmm, ten.” Slowly, moving her legs and twisting, he faces her. So that his forehead is against hers and kisses her. “Wanna make one?” he asks teasingly, fingers skimming the skin peaking out from under her shirt. “I hear it’s pretty easy.”

She hits him but deepens the kiss, allowing her hand to slide over his hips and squeeze his butt. It makes her laugh and he just shakes his head. “I want to talk about kids,” she reminds him, breathlessly as his hand snakes up underneath her shirt to cup her bare breast. “Not ten,” she whispers, pulling his head closer as he kisses her neck. “One or two. At least one boy.” He hums and she doesn’t even need to consider if he’s listening or not because he always is. “We could adopt.”

He smiles, placing a hand on both sides of her head, completely overtop her now. She whines a little as he sits up, extracting his body from the tangle of hers. “We could foster even more,” he offers, because he’s thought about it. “Have a few, adopt a few, and be one of those sweet old couples that fosters every kid they can find.”

She squints her eyes at him reaching up and bopping his nose. “You have a savior complex,” she whispers. Which they both know isn’t true. He’s a helper, a watcher. What else would you have him do? He’s never been one to sit by. But she thinks about it. Long after that night and later that night. When she rolled over and he’d fallen asleep in a massive tangle like he always does. This man doesn’t know how to exist without creating a mess. His desk is never neat and he can’t sleep without one half of his body stuck in the sheets.

She considers having a child exactly like him. With his exact brown eyes and those dimples. Adopting one that slowly becomes a part of them. Learning there little habits. A child with hair to dark to be Aarons but too light to be hers that like dancing around the kitchen with her and has that soft, strong way of speaking that Aaron does. Kids. With him.

They aren’t compatible.

She knows she shouldn’t have pushed when the scabs come back. It’s not bad, well… The cuts are small and low in number but she knows they’re there long before she sees them. He starts to sleep in long sleeves again. She sees them when he’s in the shower. Three or four on each arm and he’s been wearing the shirts for a month so it’s not that bad. He’s certain done worse. He’s just got a lot of pressure on him at the moment.

She lets it go.

“I haven’t had my period in a while,” she says over dinner. She told herself to wait for those cuts to heal but they never do.

He chokes on his food. He hasn’t been eating a lot and she thinks he might be smoking again. Which she would point out but she might just be paranoid. Sam got sick last week, had a seizure that she had seen, and she’s a little ashamed to admit she picked it back up to soothe herself. Unsure and unable to tell Aaron about it. How could she? It had nearly scared her from the topic of children, what would it do to him.

“How--” his voice cuts off. He doesn’t mean “how”. He knows exactly how. They talked about children and have been careless. Two scared people hoping that if they pretend to not want this with every burning fiber of their beings they might get it. He can’t remember the last time he used a condom and her birthcontrol has suddenly disappeared from the bathroom sink.

“How long?”

She puts her fork down. “Three months.” They’ve been trying twice that long. “I have a test,” she tells him, trying to hide her excitement. His eyes meet hers and she reads him like her favorite book. “I could take it.” Their lonely kitchen is filled with the sound of scraping chair the two of them fumbling to move.

“Oh.”

It’s negative.

Aaron’s mouth is dry, he doesn’t know why he’s so disappointed.

“We can keep trying,” she soothes, trying not to shake or cry. Even though she wants to throw that stupid test against the wall. Tears fall down her cheek and she looks up to see his own gather.

He shakes his head.

Jessica comes down the next week and pretends not to notice the return of the long sleeves. Aaron greets her with a smile and kisses her cheek. Telling her about everything but that test. The hope so swiftly taken from them. She takes Haley to a clinic. They count her eggs and smile, assuring her that she’s young, healthy, and her eggs are in fantastic shape. She should consider herself lucky, it should be easy for her to have children.

Easy.

Clearly, they have never met her husband.

His sperm count is low. Enough that the doctor’s face falls a little as he explains their options. It’s still possible to do this on their own but they shouldn’t be ashamed if things need a little help.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

But he is ashamed and he counts out each offense on his skin.

Sam, the boy she tutored, dies shortly after they learn all of this. His little body just couldn’t take all the stress.

Haley feels selfish but she’s glad she was no where near him when it happened.

A week later, Aaron comes home, hangs his coat on the rack and sits down on the edge of the couch. “I saw David Rossi today.” His eyes are haunted by the dark circles under them. She notices them but the people in his office never seem to. They comment his quick work and sharp mind which is why Dave had been so quick to accept him. Aaron’s curiosity has always been the brightest burning part of him. “He wants me to move back to Virginia. Take some profiling courses. Join his team.”

Aaron has read everything about the Behavioral Science Unit he can get his hands on. So, by extension, she also knows a lot about them. Every time he finds something worth excitement he finds her to recount each detail. He wants this, she knows.

She’s making muffins, trying to keep her mind off of Sam. When he tells her this, what David Rossi wants from her husband she’s furious. Fuck that man. What do they care about him? They have a life here. But… they really don’t. The lease on their apartment is ending and she keeps trying to decide if she really wants to renew it. Sam is dead. Aaron has a job opportunity.

“Do you want to move back to Virginia?” she turns, to him. Pressing her hips across the oven and watching him.

He looks down at the floor. Does he? He hadn’t really considered that. Does he want to work with David Rossi? Yes, very much so. So, he nods. “I want this,” he says.

She brushes the wet dough on her hands off on the apron on her chest and moves across the kitchen to him. Placing a hand on both sides of his face, she kisses him. “Okay,” she whispers. “Then lets go.”

David immediately loves him.

I work too slowly. 

I get too attached. 

I’m only good with victims. 

I am not a good profiler.

But David sees that spark. The yearning for more, fire hissing and popping and Dave is eager to throw gasoline on him. To see him rise and consume them all. “You’re a bright kid,” Dave commends, one afternoon. They’re having dinner on the way home. Dave has no girlfriend or wife to call so he’s very content to get a little tipsy and let Aaron drive him home. Aaron is wondering what Haley’s doing, Dave thinks this is adorable. 

“Um,” Aaron can feel a deflection on his tongue but Dave covers his hand with his own.

With far too much seriousness for a tipsy man he says, “alright. You’re next lesson is acceptance, alright? I give you a compliment and you say--” Aaron just stares back at him. “You say thank you, Dave.”

He nods his head. 

Dave blinks. This goddamn kid, he swears. But he’s so enchanting, charming in his youth. Bashful but always looking, watching. Dave wants nothing more than to see him smile even more. To see him grow steady and assured in his abilities. And that it almost taken from him. A sniper in some case that feels more like a movie, something that happens to someone you’re only lightly attached to. That you gasp at but forget about in a day or two. The blood that just sprays, thick and heavy and hot. Dave’s never lost an agent. 

He’s lost men but that was war. This isn’t war. It’s just profiling. His people aren’t supposed to die and the kid-- fucking Aaron, his Aaron, almost died. 

“You must be David.”

Dave is sleeping in the room when she comes. A thin little thing with straw blonde hair and a very scorned looking face. Aaron has gone on and on about her. She’s beautiful and he can see, immediately, why Aaron’s so drawn to her. As stupid as it is, he smiles when he sees her. So tiny and yet drawn up like she’s ready for a fight. 

“That must make you Haley.”

She hums, a habit he finds cute. Humming fits Aaron well. He’s a silent man but not Haley. Aaron had told him they had been together since they were kids, high school sweet hearts. It must be a bit of Aaron’s spite she has drawn up as she walks through the room to stand at her husband’s side. Stoic. 

The worst is yet to come. 

The shot had been surprisingly clean. Aaron would need a sling and to keep his arm delicately strapped to his chest to allow his shattered clavicle to repair. He wakes two hours later, to the soft hum of Haley and Dave whispering over him. He’s not coherent and he’s in pain and falls right back to sleep the moment Haley takes his hand. A softly sighed “oh” on his lips as his eyes shut and he’s gone again. 

Dave doesn’t say anything about the scars. He knows about them. (Do you really think they’d let anybody into the FBI without making notes in files, annotations for men like David Rossi to read and re-read a dozen times as they consider allowing men like Aaron Hotchner onto their teams?) 

“Haley?” The second time he’s distraught. Panicking. He remembers the warmth of his bath, the Advil bottle in his palm. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, just as he had when he woke the first time, all those years ago. “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.” He remembers thinking how uncomfortable he was in the tub. How he wished he had a pillow or was shorter so at least his knees could sink in. That he could see his clothes plastered to his skin. 

He mistakes her momentary confusion as disbelief and he grows agitated. Gasping in pain but twisting and pleading. “I-- I--,” his sentence is cut off by his strangled cry. He moves his hips the wrong way and his shoulder is pressed down into the mattress.

It breaks her heart just as much this time as it had last time. To see his face pinched in pain and confusion. But she is shocked in place. 

Dave stands, grabbing Aaron’s unrestrained hand. His hand wrapping completely around until his finger rest against the inside of Aaron’s wrist. His hand engulfing Aaron’s. The scars moving under his touch. “You’re okay,” Dave assures him softly. He smiles, priding Aaron when he manages to whisper Dave’s name in soft shock. He pats Aaron’s cheek, “there he is. My bright boy. How are you? You okay?”

His sense come back to him. The memories slipping into place. “Hurts,” he rasps. Gradually, his body calms and he stops kicking out against nothing. “My arm hurts,” he whispers, his eyes full of tears as he looks between them. Trusting one of them will stop it. One of them will help. 

Haley leans down and presses a kiss to his temple, brushing her fingers through his hair. “You’re okay sweetheart.” 

Sweetheart. He hums, turning into her touch. She never calls him sweetheart. 

She wipes his tears away and Dave says nothing. At that moment, she doesn’t know him to well but eventually, she’ll learn that his silence in that moment was new. Dave never shuts up. She’ll crave that silence in his company. But he’d been thinking, watching and she’d been preoccupied. He was taking in what he was seeing to stored for a later date. Though he had thought for theory not practice. How wrong he, in fact, was. 

He retires a year later. Aaron and Haley are just getting the courage to try again for a kid. 

When he returns he’s thoroughly surprised to find things haven’t entirely changed. The bits that have changed are encouraging. 

“How much do you know?” Morgan asks him one night, a little too tipsy to be having this conversation. But he’s been sitting on it for months and he’s got to know. It’s his job to protect the team and while he and Aaron always seem to butt heads, he won’t leave him out of that equation. “About… About Hotch.”

Not Aaron, anymore. He’s a whole new person. The Unit Chief, strong stoic and up until that moment Dave had even thought hidden. His little secret tucked beneath those multi-layered suits. Evidently not if Morgan knows. “Should we be discussing this?” he asks. It’s an answer within itself. If he knows they shouldn’t be discussing it then he knows about it. 

Morgan understand this. He pops a handful of nuts in his mouth, chewing them thoughtfully. “He’s important to us,” Morgan says after a long while. 

Dave nods. “He’s important to me too.”

Neither fully explains where they stand. How much any given member of the team knows. 

Spencer Reid isn’t stupid and even if he were, he’s not oblivious. He’s never seen the scars on the inside of his superior’s wrist. Never seen any of the scars for that matter. There’s still something about Hotch, nameless and without a good proper name, that Spencer cues in on. Self-destructive with control issues. They never talk about it. It’s safer that way. 

It hurts Penelope to think about for too long. She’s seen the scars but she’d known what to look for and she’d looked. Even though she knew what she would find and knew it would hurt. Though she was never made to be the silent observing type, she doesn’t mention them. But sometimes she places little goodies in his go bag so that when he finds them he’s forced to be reminded that he’s loved. 

JJ knows the signs now. She was too slow the first time. Now she wears that burden around her neck each day. There’s something so raw about Aaron Hotchner but she doesn’t think he’s suicidal, not anymore at least. Maybe in another life, at a different time. Today, tomorrow, yesterday… he’s okay. But she’ll keep vigil. She watches. 

Though Emily hates his guts when she first arrived, she’s found herself close to his side over the course of the last few months. Enough to know more about him than the others. Maybe not because he tells her but because she’s simply there and it’s hard to hide things once you allow someone else that close. 

The divorce doesn’t come by too big of a surprise. 

Neither does Haley’s reaction.

“I need to ask you to do something for me,” Haley whispers. 

JJ is rocking Henry when Will comes in with the phone and she’s honestly surprised it’s taken Haley this long to get around to her. “Haley,” she responds, wondering if Haley is out there someplace rocking Jack. “You know you don’t have to ask.” JJ and Haley had gotten along great when JJ first joined. JJ was the only girl on the team and Haley knows how Hotch can be. 

“He doesn’t mean it, honest.” Haley had defended. Referencing Hotch’s more elusive if not silent nature. 

JJ had brushed it off, “oh no. He’s a sweetheart.” And was and still is. He very well was probably the only person who didn’t give her a hard time. 

“I know Aaron isn’t taking… all of this well.” That is an understatement. He’s not doing anything drastic but starving away in his office running on caffeine and random sandwiches one of them forces him to eat isn’t thriving. “Can you just look after him? I would-- you know I would but we can’t do this--this balance if I am always there to catch him. That doesn’t change anything.”

JJ closes her eyes, leaning her face down to Henry. Allowing the soft scent of baby and lotion to soothe the anger and pain she feels swelling up. “You know I will,” she promises. “He’ll be okay, Haley. We’ll get him through this.” The call ends shortly after that. Haley asks about Henry and JJ about Jack. And the two part. It’s better that way. 

The divorce is the easy part. 

Foyet attacks and nine new scars find their way on his body and suddenly they all know that those aren’t the ones they need to worry about. 

“Emily, Em--Emily.” She’s sleeping in his guest room, curled under the warm sheets. A cat, he thinks dizzily, as she stretches and hums sleepy at him. Arching her back and stretching her back and arms out like he’s seen plenty of street cats do. The kind that aren’t bothered when you come marching through their alley. 

She winces at the light but finds him. The apprehension on his pained face and the dark, wet rag he’s holding with his left hand over his right. 

“I-- There was-- It was an accident,” he stumbles.

The wet rag she realizes is soaked in his blood. Crimson. She wakes quickly, suddenly cold. Throwing the blankets off her legs. He just stands in the doorway, leaning heavily to the side. “What did you do?” she demands, afraid to look and see. Afraid to see. She covers his hand with hers, pressing against the wound. Her mind turns this over slowly. His blood dropping in fat drops by their feet. “You have to go to the hospital.”

His eyes flash with something but she knows it’s not remorse for what he’s done. “It was on accident,” he rasps. “I’m sorry.”

She knows. “To the hospital,” she instructs, guiding him through the dark hall. He’s dazed, clearly confused. It takes her a moment to wrap his coat around his shoulder. “Hold it,” she mumbles, wrapping his fingers back around his wrist. Then she’s shoving her own feet into shoes not thinking twice about the fact that they’re both in pajamas and she in shorts. “Aaron,” she stands back up and he’s loosened his hold. The way she says his name shocks him. “Put fucking pressure on it.” 

She steers him to the car, guiding him by his hips. By the time she moves to the driver’s seat he’s pressed his head to the door’s cold window, turned a nasty grey color. “Aaron,” she shakes him roughly. Paying no mind to the wounds on his chest that haven’t healed. “Stay awake.” She’s not going to loose him like this. She hits him several more times, it’s one jarring him back to life. She knows she’s hit a few bruises and not healed places on his body but he’s slipping and he’s not going to die in her passenger seat. 

“You’re a goddamn idiot.” she seethes. They’re outside the emergency room. She’s pulling his thin grasshopper like legs out of the car, grunting when the rest of him comes with them. His head finds her shoulder and she stops, holding him there for just a second as they both collect themselves. “Are you okay?” she asks softly. The first truly kind thing she’s had to say all night. He nods. “Okay,” she pats his back. “Come on, jackass, we’ve got plenty more fighting to do.” 

They won’t let her back with him which she almost hopes causes a scene. But Hotch goes listlessly into the wheelchair and silently allows them to take him away. He doesn’t fight. Which is worse than if he’d begged them to let her come. But he goes, his bloody rag in his lap. Head tilted resting against his chest. 

She calls Morgan first. He tells her not to call anyone else. It’s two in the morning and they need the sleep. He’ll be there in twenty minutes. He’s there in ten and when he sees her sitting there he doesn’t say a word, just wraps his coat around her bare arms. They sit, shoulder-to-shoulder, neither saying anything for a long time. 

Eventually, he can’t stand the silence. “Did he do it on purpose?” Morgan asks. 

She shrugs. She doesn’t know. “He said he was sorry.” The raspy quality of her own voice surprises her. Looking down at her hands, she scratches at her nails. Frowning at the blood she pulls up. They all do things they shouldn’t. He just… It wasn’t on purpose. It wouldn’t… He wouldn’t…

“Emily Prentiss?”

She looks up, surprised to find a nurse standing there. How long have they been sitting here? Not saying a thing. Just thinking. Assuming the worst. “Yes?” She stands, suddenly too aware of how silly she must look. Her night shirt covered in blood and in shorts that show all of her legs and-- only after looking down-- does she realize she’s wearing a pair of Hotch’s shoes. 

“Mr. Hotchner is very dehydrated. We’re going to keep him here for the night. You can come back, if you’d like. He asked for you.” 

She glances back at Morgan and then at the nurse. “I want to but,” she motions to Morgan, “can we both go?” She can see the hesitation wash over the nurse. “You can ask Hotch-- Agent Hotchner. His name is Derek, Hotch won’t mind.” 

The nurse caves with a nod and motions for them to follow her. 

He’s in a section marked off by curtain. Asleep with his heavily bandaged hand curled on his chest and the other by his side. They’ve bandaged both, the left with a few bandages versus the heavy gauze of the right. He sleeps but it’s not deep no more than the shallow naps he’s been getting lately.

Emily moves to his left side and waits for the nightmare she know will grip him. 

“He didn’t… He wasn’t trying to, was he?”

Emily rubs her thumb his knuckles. “Morgan?” If he was, would he have come to get her? Would he have covered the wound himself, first? Trying to stop the blood on his own? Morgan looks up. “You can’t talk about it. Promise me, you won’t ask him about it.” That would kill him. 

Morgan stands in the corner, arms crossed on his chest. “Will you talk to him about it?”

She doesn’t want to. “Yes.” But someone has to. 

“If he does it again--”

Emily cuts him off with a scowl. “He won’t.”

Morgan breaks a little, sadden by how vehemently she believes this. “Okay,” he caves. “Okay.” 

He does. 

[vannahfanfics]

Before you read, here’s the previous chapter. New? Start from the beginning!

Cherry-Orange Blossoms

Ao3

Katsuki released a small, satisfied sigh after popping the noodle bowl away from his mouth, tongue swiping the last dregs of broth still clinging to his lips. He’d gotten much better at suppressing the disgusted shiver that gripped his body every time he forced himself to eat. As nausea roiled in his belly with an angry yowl, he physically suppressed it with a few thick swallows. Though the cough, fatigue, and sore throat were annoying, he’d have to say that the variation in his appetite was the worst symptom. At least it was the easiest to hide. 

He set the bowl down on the lunch tray with a small exhale. As he moved, the nausea forced its way back up, making him clamp his hand over his mouth in a pitiful effort to combat the strong urge to retch. No! Stop bein’ a weak little bitch! You have to keep this fucking food down, he yelled at his rebelling body. His stomach flopped a few more times for obediently settling back down, though with a few more indignant grumbles. He scrunched up his face as he sucked in a few tentative breaths, praying the beast would stay quiet this time. 

I’m not fucking kicking the bucket until this whole country knows my name, he thought lividly. Basketball was the only thing he had to live for now; he’d be damned if this fungus growing in his lungs was gonna take that away from him, too. For better or for worse, he was going to make the best of his final basketball season. 

Just as he had finally settled down and was debating forcing himself to grab seconds, Ochako’s cheery voice calling his name floated above the cacophony of conversation clouding the air around him. He lurched into the table as his lungs spasmed, the flowers inside his tissue blooming in reverence of her siren call. The noodle bowl jumped as he slammed his fists down and his glass overturned, spilling water all over the red tray and the table. He frantically righted it and grabbed the few napkins he had to try and mop up the puddle of clear liquid as the brunette came trotting up. 

“Katsuki, Katsuki, listen to this— Oh, no! Here, let me help you!” Ochako cried as she spotted him using the sopping-wet napkins to try and wipe up the remainder of the liquid. She snatched some napkins from a nearby container and scurried over, squeezing into the space next to him to furiously dab at the spreading water. As her arm brushed against his, Katsuki locked up and began to shake so hard he wondered if he was having a fucking seizure. Before Ochako could notice, he pinched his leg hard to make his mind stop spiraling into insanity. 

His throat still burned as he swallowed repeatedly to force the rising petals back down, and a thin sheet of sweat bloomed on his skin from the tremor that so suddenly gripped him. Ochako turned her pretty brown eyes on him in a look of inquiry. He appeased her unspoken question by languidly reclining in the booth and running his fingers through his hair, though he cringed as the salty perspiration slicked his fingertips. 

“What’re you lookin’ at me like that for, Cheeks? I just knocked a glass of water over.” 

Ochako’s eyes fluttered a few times as she processed his nonchalant excuse. She seemed to believe it, smiling brightly with a slight nod. 

“Right, right! Of course, haha,” she hummed as she dropped the wet napkins onto his tray. No seconds for me, I guess, he thought with a frown as he regarded the menagerie of soaked brown paper slips that littered the plastic plate. “What was I going to say?” Ochako frowned, pressing the pad of her index finger to her lips as she straightened. Again, her arm gently brushed his, and Katsuki felt electric fire sing through his nerves. He clenched his fists under the table, silently suffering as Ochako stood oblivious next to him. 

“Oh, right!” she exclaimed after a second, clapping her hands together to turn on him with that brilliant smile that he lived for yet killed him slowly. “Katsuki! I made an A on the math quiz! Look, look!” 

Katsuki jerked when she thrust a piece of paper into his face. He edged back a little so he could appreciate the series of red marks inked over the neatly written numbers and equations. Like Ochako had said, there were few incorrect answers. After a second, she pulled back the page to give him a smile that was brighter than before. 

“It’s all thanks to you, Katsuki.” 

“Nah,” the blond muttered, rubbing the back of his neck while a pink hue rose to his cheeks. “That’s all you, Cheeks. I mighta helped a little, but you didn’t do anythin’ you weren’t capable of.” 

Ochako’s eyes grew owlish, making him flinch uncomfortably. Then, like a flip had switched inside of her, she started blubbering. 

“ Kahhhsukiiii !” she wailed in between hiccuping sobs, clutching the quiz to her chest so hard that it crumpled under her grip. The blond’s face grew a shade darker at the strange (and adorable) reaction, prompting him to hide his face with a hand. 

“The hell you cryin’ for?” he chastised half-heartedly. Ochako moaned woefully and tried to stifle her tears, but they continued to pour in thick globs down those round cheeks of hers, which were beginning to turn a ruddy red. Katsuki snorted and stood up, leaning over the lunch table. “Jeez, what am I going to do with you?” he sighed with a tiny smile as he scrubbed at her cheeks with the ends of his sleeves. Ochako let out little squeaks with each swipe of the fabric across her skin, the paper crinkling as her fingers twitched. 

“Always such a crybaby,” he said affectionately when he finally pulled away, the ends of his sleeves damp with Ochako’s tears. “Less cryin’ and more eatin’, Cheeks. I don’t wanna hear you complaining that you’re hungry later!” To emphasize his point, he turned her around by the shoulders and gave her a gentle shove. She gasped as she stumbled forward, then turned around to flash him a giddy smile. Katsuki couldn’t help the way he looked at her then, the way his expression softened and his heart fluttered. 

He was thankful she turned around to leave right as his lungs spasmed again. He hunched over while slapping a hand to his mouth, trembling at the disgusting feeling of the soft, silky petals crawling up his throat. He could see her form retreating through the tears flooding his eyes, the skip in her step as she rejoined the other girls at the lunch table. His chest burned with the strain to suppress the coughs, like a fire had started in his lungs hell-bent on burning him up to ash from the inside out. 

Why did he do this to himself, he wondered as the tears faded and his vision cleared. His answer was immediate, illuminating the room in the form of Ochako’s happy smile. He’d rather live out the rest of his days in total misery than deprive himself of that pure, innocent light of an angel come to earth. 

Idiot, he thought with a slight wheeze through his fingers. This is why you’re dying . 

Katsuki’s vermillion eyes were stinging and still slightly bloodshot when he finally eased himself back into his chair. He looked down at the lunch tray, which was covered with damp napkins, and then pushed it away with a huff. As he plopped his chin down on his crossed arms, Hanta and Denki leaned over each of his shoulders with matching grins that just spelled “annoying.” 

“Yanno, you’re awfully chummy with Ochako lately,” Denki hummed with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 

“Yeah,” Hanta chimed in agreement, “ awful chummy, way too chummy to be with someone else’s girlfriend. You wouldn’t want Izuku getting any ideas about your intentions, now would you?” As Katsuki shot the ravenet an irritated glare, he popped a corndog into his mouth with raised eyebrows. 

“You think I give a fuck about Deku’s ideas ?” he snorted derisively. He shifted to press his cheek into his hand, glowering at Hanta. “What, I can’t be friends with her because she’s dating that shitstain? Get off my case,” he grumbled. 

“Hey, hey, no need to get offended,” Denki said in a sing-song voice. Katsuki looked at him to see him biting down on the tip of his tongue mischievously. “We’re just making an observation.” 

“Yeah, an observation!” 

“Observe this , assholes,” Katsuki retorted and flipped them both off. Before they could annoy him further, he pushed himself up from the table. He slid his hands in his pockets, ignoring the two pleading for him to come back in between laughter. As he sauntered around the table, he found himself glancing in the direction of the girls— and noted the absence of bouncy brown hair and rosy round cheeks. 

He barely had time to wonder where she went before the nausea roiled in his belly again. His hands flew out of his pockets to clutch his belly, and then one slapped to his mouth as he was overtaken with the strong urge to retch. He shouldered through the double doors of the lunch room to stagger down the hall; through his blurry vision, he could spy the bathroom sign hovering against the wall. However, Katsuki’s pride burned inside of him; he was going to try his damnedest to resist. He slumped against the wall and slowly slid down into a squat, then pried his hand away from his mouth to begin gulping down air. 

For a few seconds, the deep breaths only heightened his urge to vomit; gradually, however, his writhing stomach slowly settled. He slowly leveled out his breathing until he was just sitting against the brick, exhausted by the effort. He ran his shaking fingers through his hair, and when he pulled it back, he found his fingertips glistening with sweat. 

“ Fuck ,” he cursed quietly and leaned forward to cradle his head in his hands. It had barely been a month since those damn petals had blossomed in his lungs; how was he supposed to cope with the later stages of his disease, when he was so damn miserable? Tears of frustration sprung to the corners of his eyes and he gripped his hair between his fingers, tugging at the spiky strands. “Why are you doing this to yourself, Katsuki?” he whispered hoarsely. 

He knew why. He knew damn well why, and yet he wouldn’t— couldn’t — do a damn thing about it. 

He jumped when he heard a bang echo in the wall behind him. Startled at the idea of being found like that, he scrambled to his feet and turned around. It took a moment for his disoriented mind to recognize the sign for the women’s bathroom above his head. He looked down at the entrance when another bang sounded in the depths of the bathroom, followed by the unmistakable sound of miserable retching. Someone’s sick…? He thought in confusion.

He was even more confused when Ochako came toddling out, looking a little green in the face and wiping at the corner of her mouth with a palm. When she spotted Katsuki, she froze like a deer in headlights, eyes growing enormous. They just stared at each other for a few seconds, stunned by this strange reaction, until Katsuki sputtered the first thing that came to mind. 

“Cheeks, you aren’t pregnant , are ya?” 

“ What ?!” she shrieked, turning a bright shade of crimson. “N-n-n-n-no! Oh my God, Katsuki, no !” She buried her face in her hands, but Katsuki could still almost see the air sizzling around her head from the heat rolling off her face. “I-It’s some medications I’m on!” she explained through the gaps in her fingers. “I-i-it’s really heavy-duty stuff, with nausea and vomiting as the number-one side effect… Pr-pr-pregnant ? Why on Earth— D-Deku and I don’t— w-we don’t do— oh my gosh!” 

As she turned so red Katsuki began to worry her head might actually explode, he jumped forward and waved his hands placatingly. 

“All right, Cheeks, all right! I’m sorry I asked; that was pretty fucking stupid of me, okay! Calm down!” 

Ochako was close to the point of hyperventilating with shock. Smiling wanly, he gently peeled her hands away from her face to find it bright red and shining with nervous sweat. Her eyes were glued to her shoes, watering with tears of embarrassment. Her teeth worried into her bottom lip to shred the fine skin. “Hey,” he laughed, admittedly charmed by her cute overreaction, and cupped her cheek. “Cheeks, look at me. I’m sorry, okay? That was dumb of me.” 

Hesitantly, she looked up at him. Tears clung like dewdrops to her lashes, which fluttered nervously as soon as she met his gaze. 

“I can’t believe you asked me that,” she pouted. He had to chuckle at the adorable way she jutted out her bottom lip; then, the flowers in his lungs began to stir again. He hurriedly stepped back from her, his palm missing the warmth of her soft cheek as soon as it vanished. He stuffed his hands back in his pockets and looked off to the side, but unable to keep his eyes from sliding back to look at her out of his peripheral vision. 

“Tch. I said I was sorry, okay? I mean, what was I supposed to think, with you hurling in the middle of the day? You’ve already had Hanahaki and it’s impossible to relapse when you’re dating Deku.” 

Something flickered over her face, lightning-fast, but Katsuki still caught it. He raised an eyebrow at the strange emotion that passed over her features; he couldn’t name it, but it was nonetheless strange. Ochako hummed thoughtfully and turned, her gaze growing cloudy as she walked to the vending machine across the hall. Katsuki’s body turned of its own volition to keep her in his line of sight. 

“You’re right,” she said quietly, surveying the selection of drinks. “It just took me by surprise, that’s all…” Robotically, she removed a yen bill from her wallet and slid it into the machine, then pressed the buttons to select a bottle of water. The robotic arm within the vending machine jerkily retrieved it and deposited it into the slot. Before Ochako could bend down to get it, though, Katsuki had already closed the distance between them and plucked it from the machine. 

“Cheeks,” he said and poked her in the side of the head with the end of the bottle. She blinked as he pushed the cold plastic into her temple, not sure what to make of the sudden action. Katsuki’s face was pensive, trying to riddle out just what had caused Ochako’s mood to shift so suddenly. But he could glean nothing from that sweet round face and warm brown eyes; whatever it was, Ochako had buried it deep inside. 

I guess we all have our secrets. 

“Cheeks,” he repeated, his lips curling up into a smile. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

Idiot, he thought once more when a smile slowly bloomed on her face, making his heart flutter like a baby bird preparing for its first unsteady flight. He loved that smile so damn much it hurt; it filled his soul to the brim with joy, that illuminating flash of her teeth and bulge of her cheeks and the scrunch of her eyes. Idiot, he thought again as his lungs spasmed in his chest, the fungi digging deep into his cells to bloom cherry blossoms in the dark. This is why you’re dying. 

Yet it felt like he was dying without her, in the moments alone when the nights closed in and he wheezed in his dark room and sweaty bed sheets that were tangled around his legs from fitful, painful sleep. He was dying all the time, so he might as well die within the reach of the light of his life, rather than alone in the dark. 

A flower alone in a patch of light with the shadows closing in, clinging to every last sunbeam it can before the darkness finally washes over it and causes it to wither slowly, painfully, tortuously… Yet for every second he would rage, rage against the dying of the light, until he drew his last ragged breath. 

Because in the light, Ochako bloomed.

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