#rambly ramblings

[purrpickle]

It wasn't that Mon said no.

It was that Mon made it clear she only saw Sam as an Honorable Lady.

Sam, several times in the series, has professed that her status isn't anything important, and has made overtures to get people to stop treating her differently - like telling Aon he could treat her as a normal person over the phone in Ep 3; telling Mon that her rank was only one step above being a commoner when Mon questioned that she didn't eat only Royal Thai food in Ep 2; and more recently, when she tried to get Pohn and Aon to sit back up on the couch when she sat on the floor to pet Singha, Ep 9.

As much as Sam benefits from her status (and definitely leans into it sometimes!), for the majority of her life, being an Honorable Lady has been a suffocating shackle keeping her tied down to her grandmother and her grandmother's expectations of her, up to and including requiring Sam to get married, have children, and give her company to Kirk to become a stay-at-home mother, etc. You see these expectations in her teenage flashbacks, all the way up through Neung and Song's flashbacks as well, and then more and more during the present shown in the show.

So, not only has Sam lived with her Honorable Lady title creating trauma and repression for her her whole life, but she's also seen her sisters suffer from the title as well, when who they were conflicted with the expectations of their rank.

...

So what does this all mean?

It means that, growing up the way she did, it's clear that under everything, Sam wanted someone to see her. Not her title, not her family, but just... her.

Kirk didn't see her as just Sam. Her grandmother certainly didn't, as well as her employees. She was a celebrity with interviews that she lied in, so fans never would, and her friends came close, but it wasn't the same with them; Sam still felt that they laughed at her, and she never truly bared her soul or confided private things to them.

But then along came Mon!

Mon, who dared to treat Sam like she hadn't been treated before. Who stood up to her, and wasn't afraid to speak or act plainly around her, in a different way than her friends did. It was this defiance and familiarity that initially made Mon stand out, which led to her being hired as the admin for Diversity Pop. And it was this defiance and familiarity that continued to keep Sam drawn to her, far past solely existing as employer and employee.

Because to Sam's joy (and sometimes frustration, let's be real), Mon didn't stop treating her any differently! For example, she dared to tickle Sam back in Ep 3, didn't immediately drop to the floor when Sam went down on her knees to become ChamCham in Ep 6, and then actually wanted to be her girlfriend in Ep 7! Aside from her predominant use of Lady Sam (which, expected), and random comments here and there that seemed to ease after Sam stated they'd get to slowly know each other in Ep 4, Sam was pretty well convinced that she knew where she and Mon stood.

That they were lovers. That Mon loved her just like Sam loved her back. That Mon saw their relationship the same as Sam saw it.

That, finally, Sam could be herself with someone who had seen past her title to simply love her for who she really was. (Helped her become better too, yes, but still, for who she really was.)

But then Mon looked at her after rejecting her marriage proposal, and answered her "Why?" with, "I'm not good enough for you, Lady Sam. You are the Honorable Lady. I'm just a commoner."

And that's when Sam went silent.

Because Sam realized that her belief in how Mon saw their relationship, her belief in how Mon thought there was any future in their relationship, and her belief in how Mon saw her was wrong.

And it all came crashing down.

Why Mon was so resistant to Sam breaking up with Kirk so she and Sam could date publicly.

Why Mon didn't want her to repeal her One Rule at work (and presumably date openly) because it would make people look badly at Sam.

Why Mon was suddenly hesitant to hold her hand in public.

Why Mon was always so quick to say she didn't have any good points or she wasn't worth it whenever Sam broached something about their relationship.

All of this wasn't just because they were two women, but because Mon, aside from suddenly being concerned that they were two women, thought that she and Sam were two women who couldn't be seen together for a different reason than just homophobia.

Because all Mon was ultimately concerned with...

Was Sam's rank.

Her title.

Her privileged place in society.

And how Mon was different than her.

Was less than.

Would never be good enough for her.

That, in her eyes, not just in the eyes of others, Mon would never be able to see her or love her as an equal.

Because Mon was a commoner...

And Sam was an Honorable Lady.

...

So no. It wasn't Mon saying no.

It was, even if Mon meant it or not, Mon telling Sam that their relationship was built on a lie that Sam had ever been seen or loved for who she really was.

And that fucking sucks.

[bokkerijder]

pro-AI in the sense of "they taught a bread scanning computer to recognize cancer cells" etc etc

against AI in the sense of "we stole artwork from hundreds to thousands of artists, didn't credit them and didn't financially compensate them"

[dreamlit-wanderer]

the ability to say "i dont have a tiktok" in social situations makes me feel so powerful. like the general reaction is "shock, confusion, then this weird 'thats probably a good thing' response" its so fun

[princeshilo]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[jellybeanium124]

the idea of public restrooms as "women's spaces" continues to confound me. you know who I hope is in a public bathroom when I go in?? no one. I would prefer no one else be in the bathroom. and if someone else is in the bathroom I am going to ignore them as much as possible. I did not go into the bathroom to connect with other women. I went into the bathroom to piss and/or shit. it's a toilet's space, not a women's space. shut the fuck up and let trans people piss and shit in peace. let's all continue to avoid eye contact with each other and any and all interaction in the toilet's space.

[yume-fanfare]

SILENCE

the princess

is :3ing

[scorndotexe]

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

[bonesandthebees]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

[fleshdyke]

i actually dont give a shit if hamas did everything and worse that israel accuses them of it still doesn't justify killing 30000 random civilians

[hollowboobtheory]

everything should cost one dollar, ten dollars, or one hundred dollars. a drinky drink is one dollar. a t shirt is ten dollars. rent is one hundred. i might be convinced to allow one thousand dollars for some very big purchases like a house. i get it, you're running a business. i'm not unreasonable.

[caruliaa]

you dont know how blasphemous shed find the og post. but shes cutie pie .

[purrpickle]

Pardon the terrible quality, but this, right here, when Sam says, "I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you.", it is so, so, so chilling. It makes absolutely clear without being descriptive how terrible Sam's grandmother is, and how much she dominated and mistreated Sam her whole life.

We see that with her estranged sister, one of the first things Sam says to Neung (who she hasn't seen or talked to in years!) is an accusation filled with all her old hurt and anger that Neung abandoned her and Song with their grandmother, who got worse after she left.

Which is terrible because we already know that the Honorable Grandmother got even worse than that again after Song died!

The trauma her grandmother has been responsible for in Sam's life has always been palpable, but it was made especially so in this episode, in this scene, and in this line.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you."

From the moment Mon tells her, "Today Lady Grandmother came to your place," Sam immediately knows what happened. We see her heart break, but we also see her fight back her devastation so she can pull Mon closer to her and comfort her. We see how angry she is at herself and horrified that she let Mon face the Honorable Grandmother alone, and we see that as soon as Sam can speak, all she can say is, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Because Sam is sorry; sorry that she allowed her grandmother to inflict violence and trauma on Mon, because that is what her grandmother does.

...

Sam is very, very clear.

The Honorable Grandmother needs to be protected from.

Like Sam never was after her sisters were gone.

[tariah23]

Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess

[temporalteardrop]

bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time

[hiroshotreplica]

idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that

[littlebeetlebro]

me: *sobbing in the woods*

The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.

me: *turns around* oh shit fr?