#rapmonster imagine

[yourmanz-sodapop]

Settling in together

Namjoon x Top! Male reader

Warnings: N/A Part 2/3

“Ok, This couch is perfect” Namjoon must’ve said that about four couches already. “Didn’t you say that about the previous couch?” you asked. “Well yes, but this one feels different than all the other ones. I’m telling you baby this is the one.” he pouts. “You’re sure this is the one baby?” “Yes, this one, let’s buy it.” he says, clapping his hands. He was excited, how could he not be? You gave him complete freedom to decorate your home. So far he had chosen the dresser and nightstand set as well as the curtains for all the rooms of the house and now the couch. 

“Ok, couch set check, next up is… kitchen table.” you see him from the corner of your eye walking off towards the kitchen area, as you're talking to an employee about what you want and how fast you can get it shipped to your house. 

Walking towards the area you last saw Namjoon, you find him sitting at the head of a kitchen table, his eyes narrowing on every empty seat. “What are you doing?” “shhhhh, I’m trying to see if this would match the look I’m going for.” “What look are you going for?” “Right now I’m leaning towards a minimalist vintage look. I think it suits us both, you're an old soul” letting out an amused chuckle you lay your head on top of his, “Anything will be fine, now hurry so we can go look at the paintings you want to hang up.” Say no more Namjoon was up and looking around trying to decide. You knew it would get him to hurry up. 

You need the house finished by next week but it seemed he forgot every other second. You’d made plans to have his parents over to actually see your new home, and to show them with proof that you are serious about their son, before it was just your words and small things you did. They loved you, they loved you just for the fact that you loved their son, that was enough for them but still you wanted to show them that Namjoon would always have a home with you, and that you could provide for him regardless of the fact that he made a shit ton of money from being an idol. I mean you also made a lot of money, you owned a finance company, one that you just branched over to Europe and hopefully soon you’ll add another branch in Korea near where you lived. As you were walking around looking at the different pieces of art, one specific one caught your eye. It was the same one you had in your office back home in America. It brought back a lot of memories.

“When are you coming back to visit?” You couldn’t stand seeing the tears on his face through the screen. “I don’t know, there was a problem with the construction crew, I need to go to Europe to see why they put a hold on it. I’m going to be gone longer than I thought I was, I’m sorry my love.” you explained. You’d already been gone for three months, signing contracts, getting permits overseeing construction for the new branch. “You promised you’d be back before I left on tour. I leave in two weeks.” he sobbed. You know how much it hurt, you haven’t seen each other in three months and now you have to break your promise about sending him off on his tour. You didn't say anything, what could you say to make him feel better? “I have to go” he whispers, “Namjoon, wait-” he hung up.  It was one of the lesser bad moments in your relationship. But it was quickly fixed, you flew out that same night and postponed your meetings to spend the remaining two weeks with Namjoon. 

“Babe!” Turning your head Namjoon was looking at you worriedly. “I called your name five times, are you ok?” He was carrying 6 pieces. “I’m fine baby, is that what you’re getting?” you asked. “Yes these, did you talk to the sales clerk about buying the couches?” “Mhm” “Ok then let's go, we still need to buy kitchen utensils and groceries. I’m not ordering take-out again.” “I’ll cook.”

Getting everything you needed for your new home took longer than you expected it to. Namjoon couldn’t make up his mind on a few things like rugs so you did have to go to a few other places the next day. Thankfully Namjoon found all the things he wanted and was satisfied with the end result of your house, now all you needed to do was wait for the weekend to come.

 You were both enjoying yourselves with this new dynamic of reality, a reality where you both didn’t have to fight your schedules to see each other, nor hide the fact that you were in love. His fanbase took it better than you expected it to, of course there was some negative backlash. Mostly  girls being upset that they wouldn’t have a chance to woo him, rather than the fact that he was with a man. It was a bit of a shock at first  but you got used to seeing your face more on social media.  The boys of course were over all the time now that the place was completely furnished with everything working as it’s supposed to. Now Namjoon understands why you got a three bedroom house.

Next>

[0funsite0]

Sick day

1.4K words

- Don't come closer, ba- *cough* -baby!

Your selfless self still stepped closer to your sick husband, to pull his blanket up higher. You also set the cup of hot tea you made him on the guest room nightstand. But this time it wasn't exactly a selfless act, more like a stubborn one (according to your husband), as you weren't being mindful of the seven-month-old little baby laying inside your womb.

- I'm serious, Y/n! It's contagious... and the last thing I want is to get you sick as well. Especially now, baby. Think about Maia!

- Joon, I just brought you tea, it's not like I kissed you or anything...

- Still... I *sneeze* I even slept in the guest bedroom, so you wouldn't get sick.

You smiled to yourself. You tried to act as annoyed at him as possible, but the fact that he cared so much about you made it impossible.

- You just rest and don't worry about anything else. - with that, you kissed his forehead, which was steaming hot, and left the room only to come back with a cold, wet cloth to put on it.

Namjoon was fast asleep at this point, as he'd been most of the day. You were just grateful he rested well. You got beside him on the guest bed, which was smaller than the one you had in the master bedroom, so for your pregnant self it was difficult to find a comfortable position. Despite the difficulties, you managed to follow your husband to dreamland. :)

-

*cough*

You woke up to a raspy feeling in your throat.

Oh no...

The weight of your actions began to slowly sink in. Did you get the sickness?

Unfortunately yes, but you couldn't let Namjoon notice. Simply because you didn't want to hear his speech about how he told you to stay away and stuff... So you got up (with minor difficulties) and thanked God your husband was still asleep and could sleep through an earthquake.

You waddled down the stairs, taking each and every single step carefully, and made yourself a huge cup of tea with a lot of honey. You also took your prenatal vitamins.

- Good morning, Baby Mamma!

Namjoon's sweet morning voice startles you. You turn around and flash your best smile at him.

- Good morning! How are you feeling?

- Really good, actually! That tea you made worked wonders.

He neared you, but still didn't give you your morning kisses, just to be safe. He slipped his hand under your shirt... actually... his shirt, and placed it on your growing belly.

For a moment he removed it and took a second to look you deep in your eyes with confusion. Then he placed his hand back on the skin of your bump, feeling around a little. You felt his other hand placed on your forehead. It felt good.

His hand is so cold.

- Baby... - he sighed. -

- I'm sorry. - you looked down with regret in your posture. You put your baby in danger...

- Y/n... I warned you about this... It really is the worst time for you to have a fever.

Here he goes with the speech...

- Look, I know I fucked up, and I'm very worried too! Can you please not lecture me about it? Not now...

He pulled you in a hug. Above your hormones, your stress about getting sick made you a little moody too and he totally understood that.

- Okay, Love. - he whispered into your ear, hand still rubbing your bump. - Let's get you to bed, okay? It's my turn to take care of you.

-

- 39.4 °C - he worries. - This is too high, Y/n... I'm calling your doctor.

- O-okay.

At this point, you were feeling cold, moody, achy, exhausted, and everything bad you could list. Your mind began jumping to awful conclusions about your condition.

- I'm a terrible mom! - tears were streaming down your face. - I put our Maia in danger!

- Shhh... shhh... Please don't stress yourself, Baby. - he stroked your hair. - You're a wonderful mom! Just look at how amazing you've been taking care of our little girl. I really admire you for enduring all the hardships you've been through throughout your pregnancy. Please don't talk about yourself like that again, okay?

- But I- *cough*

- I'm calling the doctor!

-

"If her fever goes above 39.5, or it doesn't subside in the next few hours, take her to the hospital immediately. Also, give her a dose of acetaminophen every 3 hours. After the first dose update me on her condition."

- Thank you, Sir! - with that, he hung up. - I'm calling Hobi over while I'm at the pharmacy.

- I'll be okay alo...

-No! I'm calling him.

-

Hobi was an angel the whole time he was over. He took amazing care of you, jumping at every word you said, bringing you tea, cold towels, snacks, and putting on your favorite movie... Everything.

- I'm sorry I took so long, Baby! - he panted, shutting the door behind him and balancing a few shopping bags on his arms. - I ran around the whole city for that medicine, and there was only one pharmacy at the end, where I found some.

- Thank *sneeze* you, Love.

The sight of you scared him a bit. Your red and puffy eyes, your figure surrounded by tissues... You weren't getting any better. His concern grew with every second.

- How's her fever? - he asked Hobi while dropping the bag and rushing to your side.

- Still the same. And she has a runny nose too. - he stepped closer to Namjoon to whisper something in his ear. - Namjoon, I'm very worried. I read online about fever during pregnancy and it wasn't good... It can create complications for both mother and baby.

- HOSEOK! DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I'M NOT WORRIED?! I'M FUCKING SCARED, TERRIFIED, OKAY! - he shouted at his friend.

He came to his senses when he saw your distressed figure on the couch, eyes tightly shut, tiny hands covering your ears.

- I'm so, so sorry! - he whispered and kissed your temple. - You're gonna be okay!

- I know, Joon! - you chuckled and ignored the pain in your head and throat as you did so. - I think you're being a little dramatic about it.

- I can never be dramatic enough when it comes to you and Maia!

-

It was 2 days later when your fever was finally almost over. You took your medicine every 3 hours, drank tea, and kept yourself and the baby warm.

Your doctor called to check on your condition.

"Y/n, did you feel her move at least twice an hour?"

- Yes, she's been pretty active since yesterday. - you giggle, thinking of the video you shot of your bump with your little girl wiggling inside.

"I'm glad to hear that! Keep it up, Mrs. Kim! See you at your next appointment."

- Thank you! See you then!

Your husband planted a kiss on your forehead. He did this a lot in the past few days. He disguised the temperature checks he did regularly as sweet temple kisses. You knew what he was up to every time, but since you found them cute, you didn't mention anything.

You two (or three) sat outside in your backyard, enjoying the warm breeze. Your husband's hand continuously caressed your bump, gently pressing the places where he felt a kick. It was a cute little way for him to interact with your daughter.

- Y/N! Y/N, did you feel that?! - he gasped in surprise.

- Love, you do know that the baby is inside me, so she mainly kicks me. - you chuckled.

- Oh right! Sorry. - he laughed and kissed the spot where you got kicked, knowing how strong your little one has gotten.

What did I do to deserve this?

As you feel a small wiggle inside your tummy, your mind wanders deep into your thoughts. You were lucky because you were blessed with the most caring husband anyone could ask for, who gave you the biggest gift. A little baby.

My precious daughter

[owilliwawo]

RM Wildflower

[sugasmainn]

PLEASE JUNGKOOKS BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME DAY AS MY SONOGRAM 😩

[mae-gi-writes]

The Set-Up - RM/Kim Namjoon (BTS Oneshot)

Synopsis: single father Namjoon Kim has a nine-year old who believes that he needs a new mommy. And he already has a good idea as to whom he'd like: his primary school teacher

----

EXERPT:

"What do you think of Miss Xiao?"

Namjoon almost did a double-take. Turning to look at his son from the corner of his eye as he kept a good look on the eggs he was currently frying atop the stove, he asked, "Miss Xiao? As in, your grade teacher?"

Daejung blinked back at him, totally unfazed by what had just sprouted out of his mouth.

"Uhm," Namjoon racked his brains in search of something to say. Where in the world had that come from?

It wasn't something totally out of the blue. Daejung was used to finding the most random questions to throw at his father and sometimes, Namjoon wondered whether his son did that just to spite him or make him run around in circles. He was only nine, but was smarter beyond his years and seeing his lack of motivation to hang out with kids his age had proven that. Namjoon had gotten regular remarks from the teachers about Daejung's inability to adapt too well, always finding him alone with a faraway look in his eyes and entertaining himself with his own company. While Namjoon thought it wasn't a problem at all, everyone else seemed to think so, had even asked whether Daejung wanted to start seeing a counsellor as he might have some deeply buried secrets that was weighing down on his heart.

But having been treated the same way as Daejung was now, Namjoon understood that his son was definitely not problematic. No, his son was just a normal kid like any other. He was just quieter by nature, more comfortable to get lost in his thoughts. And plus, if that wasn't enough, the circumstances that life had thrown their way hadn't gone by unnoticed by the small boy either.

Daejung's mother had left them when he was five, not big enough to understand why, but old enough to feel the sense of loss that had accompanied her departure. But Daejung had never asked why she left and Namjoon had never delved into the details. He just hadn't wanted to hurt Daejung more than he had to.

So it was quite a surprise to hear Daejung's verbal inquiry on how his single father found his grade teacher, one that Namjoon didn't really know how to answer.

"Why do you ask?" Namjoon slid the eggs off the pan to place them on a plate, one for each of them, while Daejung popped the two slices of toast out of the toaster and offered one to his father.

"Just curious," Daejung shrugged in a manner that seemed dismissive, except his father knew he wasn't. It wasn't in his nature to ask about such things, much less the fact that Daejung had never probed his nose into his father's love life.

Namjoon passed him a piece of buttered toast that he nibbled on happily, poking his egg yolk open with his fork, "so what do you think of her? isn't she pretty?" he said through a mouthful.

Namjoon chuckled before flicking his forehead lightly, "what did I say about talking with your mouth full?"

"Sorry," Daejung washed it down with some orange juice, watching as his father dug into his own breakfast, "So? What do you think? She doesn't have a husband yet!"

"And how would you know that?"

"She told me, dad! Look, I can even ask her on a date for you if you want."

"I think," Namjoon swiped a bit of his egg with his toast and popped it in his mouth, "that your dad can very well find dates on his own, Daejung."

"Yeah but I don't like the ladies you go on dates with. They're stupid."

"Daejung," his father chided, although he couldn't help the chuckle from bubbling up the back of his throat. It wasn't like he'd brought many women home. They were mainly blind dates set up between his friends and other mutual acquaintances, and while the women had all been very pretty and to his liking, he found that he wasn't really interested in the dating scene as of late. It wasn't fun anymore, especially now that Daejung was all too aware of his surroundings. Namjoon didn't want his son believing that he was out and about getting into every woman's pants in the neighbourhood.

Plus, he had a job to attend to, bills to pay and a child to raise. Namjoon worked twice as hard as anyone else to get money onto the table; he was a bookstore manager by day and taught english classes online by night when the city was asleep. He didn't really have so much time left to start new relationships and find romance.

Once, Namjoon had been excited at the prospect of becoming a known prosecutor, poring over old books and memorizing endless laws so that he knew them like the back of his hand.

But that was long gone now, merely a dream which would stay as one.

"But you're going to end up like an old geezer," Daejung pouted, "and my friends keep asking why I don't have a mum."

Namjoon couldn't help but feel guilty at that, "well," he leaned forward, smiling mischievously as he gazed into Daejung's chestnut-coloured eyes, "you can tell you friends that your dad is so cool he makes up for not having a mum."

"But that's not the same, and you know it," came his son's grumble.

Namjoon tried to ignore the pang of envy in Daejung's voice as he spoke. Instead, he gathered up his son's belongings and by eight, they were out the door and making their way to the primary school just around the corner.

"You still haven't answered my question," came Daejung's poignant remark as they walked through the school corridors and narrowly avoided a pair of kids running out with their squeaky clean shoes, their laughter echoing through the hallways.

"What-- about Miss Xiao?" Namjoon's tone held a tinge of exasperation. Really, his son was just as stubborn as she was.

[READ FULL FIC BELOW] 

THE SET-UP

[bangtan-spells]

Namjoon Scenario: Too Close to Love Love You.

Request: Hello! Can you write a story where y/n is a pre school teacher who had a one night stand with namjoon but then finds out that he's actually one of her student's father? Thanks

Genre:Fluff / Romance

The start of the new course was always exciting, you loved your work and what you did, despite what most people thought being a teacher didn’t always go hand in hand with a boring life. Most of your relatives and friends had been surprised when you chose your career, but you simply loved to teach, to treat with children and fill their never ending curiosity encouraging them to learn. It was one of the most rewarding things on your life and even if you still kept a bit under the scene for your personal life, you liked to go out and have fun occasionally.

That had never backfired you until that particular morning in which you organized a meeting with your students’ parents. It was something you liked to do after the first month treating with the children so you had gotten to know them a bit and then talk with their parents about how to keep them learning at home.

Your classroom was filled with chatter and laughter and you were standing at the entrance when you saw him coming down the hallway with little Jimin, one of your students.

-Miss Y/N!- Jimin giggled and ran your way, clinging to your legs the moment he had you at reach. -Good morning!-

You laughed nervously and focused on Jimin to clear your head, the man who was coming with Jimin… it couldn’t be the same Namjoon you had met.

-Good morning sunshine, how are you today?-

-Excited!- Jimin screeched. -Daddy gave me a new backpack see?- Jimin turned around to show you his brand new Superman backpack and giggled. -And he’s here!-

You felt your stomach falling down to your feet with Jimin’s words but still tried to keep it cool.

His father took a step closer and when your eyes met his, you knew there was no way on earth that this Namjoon wasn’t the same one you had one of the greatest nights of your life with. His eyes looked as surprised as yours and then he spoke.

-Hi, I’m Kim Namjoon and you must be Miss Y/N, my son talks wonders about you-

Jimin chattered happily between both of you and you just looked at each other with clear recognition.

You remembered Namjoon to the point of perfection, those eyes, those hands, that voice and right then it dawned on you that you had a one night stand with one your students father.

Namjoon looked at you from the side, he’d very honestly lost his breath the moment he saw Jimin running to you.

In the short span of a minute he wondered if his eyes were fooling him, if maybe you were just another mother at that reunion,that maybe miss Y/N simply had the same name as you but upon looking at you, he knew you were the same woman from a week ago. Certain he had been a little pumped up with alcohol in the midst of celebration at his friend party in that noisy club, but he remembered everything and the more memorable thing of that night had been you.

-Look dad! - Jimin came running with a drawing that you had helped him do and held it up and proudly, Namjoon ruffled his hair congratulating him and then Jimin ran away again.

When Namjoon looked up, he found your eyes fixed on him but you averted your eyes immediately and focused in the children calling your name.

All of this was a little crazy, that night he didn’t really ask about your job but not in a million years he would have thought you were a preschool teacher and less that you were his son’s teacher if he only focused in the way you were looking right then, with that body hugging black dress and killer heels, you had been quite the sight.

Now you were wearing a flowy skirt and a button down shirt with your hair in a low pony and you still looked marvelous in his eyes so that attraction he’d felt at the club was still latent.

He took the chance o all the children gathering together at the center of the classroom and approached you.

He cleared his throat to gain your attention and stood by side, placing his hands inside his pockets.

-I think we should maybe talk?- he asked softly and you nodded.

-You think so?- you smiled and he couldn’t help but do the same. Maybe you were as unease as him with all this. -I really can’t believe this?-

-That you are my son's teacher? Neither do I…-

You had too much chemistry that night and he had wanted to see you again but things had evolved so good that night he didn’t have the time to ask for your phone and you had left at dawn when he was still asleep.

-I mean… of all the places and people… oh god- you laughed under your breath and played with the tip of your ponytail.

The night he met you, you wore your hair down and a little wild and wavy, he remembered running his hands through it a lot, even pulling at it.

Namjoon laughed and checked there was no other parent paying attention to your conversation, which in fact there weren’t, they were all focused in the ruckus all the children were making playing.

-There is not a hidden camera somewhere right?- he asked trying to lighten the mood and you laughed.

-Of course not, I hope so- you gave him a look and then joined your students in their game because you were feeling too many things with Namjoon there and needed to focus in something else.

You would like to say that what you had with Namjoon was only a one night thing, which in theory was, but it would be a lie to say that you didn’t think of him after that or the way he made you feel. You understood how these things worked so you hadn’t waited for him to wake up before you left without any more info about him and decided to keep Namjoon as a nic experience. But now that he was there again if was easy to think that maybe destiny wanted to bring you together again and maybe that this time, you should give him your number if you had the chance to.

You kept stealing little glances of each other until the reunion ended and all the parents started to leave. You said goodbye to all of the at the school’s gate, except for one because a certain parent was waiting patiently on the side until all of the others left.

Seeing Namjoon interacting with his son had given you a total different light on him that just added to that first attraction, this softer and caring side was just a bonus and when you noticed he was the last one staying you smiled, trying to tell yourself to calm down, maybe he was only waiting for his chance to say goodbye.

-Oh you’re the last one in here- you said as if you didn’t know that already. -is there a goodbye hug for me?-

You asked and Jimin giggled while coming your way, this was a routine for you when your classes ended so he knew.

-Did you have fun Jiminie?- he nodded and said that his daddy had fun too and you couldn't help but laugh.

-Hey! That was supposed to be a secret, where’s the loyalty here Jimin?- Namjoon scolded him playfully and Jimin laughed.

You accompanied them to Namjoon’s car and once Jimin was seated inside he turned around to look at you.

-I almost made Jimin do this for me- he said with a smile, those dimples of his showing and making you remember how you had kissed them. -but I guess I had to man up-

-What do you mean?- you bit your lower lip expectantly.

-I mean…- Namjoon took a step closer to you so he stood before you. -I won’t waste this opportunity because I want to see you again Y/N-

-You already know where to find me- you teased him.

-Yeah, I do, but it would also be nice to have your number since last time you left before I could ask for it and I don’t want that happening again-

-So you think I’ll give you my number just like that?-

-I was hoping so?- he looked at you in such a way that made your stomach feel funny. Of course you would give him your number just like that, you were more than willing to give it to him before he even asked. -Should I use Jimin to convince you?-

Both of you laughed and then you traded your numbers because if there was something real right there, was that you wanted to meet again.

[123koutfits]

friends merchandise w/ bts

requests : open

[warmau]

Hi mom! ^^ Love your writing! It was just my birthday last week and I was wondering if I might request a namjoon author/editor au? (if he was your editor or you were his etc. whichever!) Apologies if you've done something similar before;; Thank you!♥

ahh happy late birthday!! ive written author taehyung before, but namjoon fits it too so !!! here you go, something cute for him~ 

is primarily a poet, and yes im talking love poems and all that jazz, but also really emotional poems about social injustices and human pain 

and he has a way with words that makes readers overcome with tears - like there’s a reason he’s on the best selling list and was featured in over twenty literary magazines

and people probably get quotes of his tattooed on them like damn

his pic on the back of the book sleeve is black and white and he’s got his hand under his chin,,,,,,,,,he looks like a uni professor LOL

people always get teary eyed at his book signings and readings, his tour managers have to request extra Kleenex for the sobbers,,,,,

honestly namjoon just gets confused and is like,,,,im,,,s,,,sorry??? but everyone is like n o no it’s just so bEautiful 

(tbh he gets super shy when complimented, much to his fans shock,,)

interviews with him actually get a ton of views because well 1) he’s handsome but 2) he does this cute smile and hides his face when people say he’s a great poet

like sensitive boy namjoon is real and thriving

you’re his editor and even under the whole beautiful, simple, amazing writing - the poems that seems so short and quick to write - you’ve seen his struggle

breaking his back over thousands of drafts, crumpling up pages and throwing out full notebooks of poems 

and writing about heavy stuff isn’t easy on namjoon either, sometimes you find him sitting on the floor beside his desk, staring blankly at a news title of some atrocity in the world

sometimes he doesn’t eat for three days. doesn’t sleep for a week. 

he publishes his book and people swoon over his talent and good looks, but you’re the only one whose seen this side of him

the side all writers and poets hide from the world - but not from their editor

so when you meet up with him, the usual dingy coffee place that namjoon has come to love, you see something is off

he’s worse than usual

“i have no inspiration, and they want a book of poems by the end of the month.” 

his deep voice has never faltered, but it sounds dejected and tired

“well,,,,,,,let’s find you some.” you try to sound optimistic, but you’re not sure

namjoon’s first book was based off of his first love. his second, off his views on the harsh world, his third was on a recent, secret breakup. now,,,,,he was stuck and you weren’t sure if there was anything left

you try to see his face, but his eyes are stuck to the blaring laptop screen. an empty word documents stares back

“i know you can do it namjoon, is there anything that you’ve maybe been saving? or maybe haven’t explored? a secret?”

namjoon’s eyes suddenly flick to meet your gaze

the tips of his ears turn pink, you’re on to something

inching forward in your seat you go, “you do! is it a person? write about them!”

you don’t notice it, but namjoon’s eyes are taking in the details of your face. the small things that he can’t believe he’s noticed all along

you said write about something he’s never explored - a secret,,

there’s one he’s kept ever since you became his editor

suddenly, namjoon begins to type and you grin. he found it.

“ill get some more coffee for us.”

you get up to go order, making sure to take some extra money to buy namjoon a snack since you know he won’t eat while he’s writing

as you leave, namjoon bites back his lip

he mouths to himself what he’s wrote so far, “my secret sits across from me, voice like velvet, sun ray eyes spark tender flickers, why cant i tell them all i have hidden from the world is you. you, my secret sitting across from me.”

he doesn’t notice you come back, leaning over the table to see his laptop

“did you write something?” your excitement apparent and namjoon jumps a bit in his seat

quickly, he closes it and takes the cup of coffee you’ve set down in order to avoid answering

you smirk and tease, “you totally did. i can’t wait to read it!!!”

namjoon feels his heart race a little in his chest, because if anything, he had never imagined he would confess his feelings like this

in a poem, that you were sure to read and edit

he thinks to himself, i can’t wait for you to read it too. but will you still only want to be my editor after it?

you wave your hand in front of his face, laughing as namjoon snaps out of it

“you’re in a writing daze, but here i got you this so you don’t forget to eat.”

you put the bag of scones down on the table as well, smiling and namjoon takes them with a thank you

you’ve always taken care of him, he knew you were different when you picked up his first draft carefully - like it was priceless

when other people had clawed into it and thrown it around without care

“so, what’s your secret - i want to know now!!” you urge again, but namjoon shakes his head

you’re my secret, but you’ll find out soon 

[taelatte]

Perfection? Here.

[jiminsbyuns-blog]

confessions

Featuring: Kim Namjoon, You

Warnings: angsty-ish i think. i mean, i tried.

Written by: Admin V

- 1 -

In which Kim Namjoon finds a list of your confessions--months later.

My confessions:

1. When I think of you, my heart races like crazy.

2. You are the first thing I think of when I wake up.

3. An insane amount of my spare time is spent daydreaming about you.

4. Yes, I occasionally stalk you on Instagram.

5. And Facebook. (sorry.)

6. I still cry over you all the time.

7. I miss you.

8. If I saw you right now, I would slap you.

9. And then I would kiss you.

10. I know none of this is healthy, but I can’t seem to stop.

It’s dated a while back.

Months ago.

Namjoon’s fingers brush over the slip of paper. He’d been going through one of your books—an edition of The House of Hades off your shelf. You’d been bugging him to continue reading the Percy Jackson spin-off series for months, and Namjoon had finally found the time to get down to it.

You’re sleeping soundly in bed, covers up to your chin and teddy bear tucked into your arms. At this time of night, Namjoon can almost pretend like time has stopped. It’s just him. Him and his memories.

And apparently, yours.

Namjoon reads over the list again. And then, again. And then one more time.

Every time he sees it, eyes tripping over the spacing and the words, his heart beats so oddly. Uncomfortably.

It’s only been two months since the two of you had gotten back together—when he’d stupidly, but fatefully, muttered that he was still in love with you in the library. The time that you two have spent to rediscover one another as lovers has been precious, absolutely priceless. Namjoon swears he’s never been happier. Not even when he had first started dating you back in high school.

Back then, everything was so foolish. A faux maturity, as if the two of you had everything under control, could handle everything with grace and ease. The truth was, both of you barely had any sort of understanding, any sort of grasp on the world. And that’s why Namjoon had cut ties with you.

He understood that he was missing something. There was a development to come that he needed to walk through alone, to grow from. But he had always planned to return to you. He never wanted to break your heart, but somehow, Namjoon knew.

He knew that even if he broke it, he would find a way to make his place in your heart once again.

Namjoon reads the date on the slip of paper and recognizes it as junior year of university. It was the year that you had transferred into the same school as him. The same year that you had stopped dead in your tracks, shocked to see your first love after so long.

Namjoon had been shocked, too. More than shocked—he had been absolutely stunned.  

And the minute that he saw you in the hallway, bug-eyed, cheeks growing inexplicably red—that’s when Namjoon realized.

That was when he realized that he would never get over you.

Two years of focusing on studies, dating other people, none of it was enough. It wasn’t enough to erase the way that your scent lingered in his childhood home, wasn’t enough to dissipate the wisps of kisses that he could still feel over his cheeks. He would never get enough of you, and nothing would ever make him forget you. There was just—absolutely no way.

Namjoon can still remember the truce the two of you came to. After going from middle school enemies to lovers, then nothing, finally you had come full circle—friends. Namjoon recalls the way your voice tightened, eyes warm but a little cold at the very pupil. Still holding back. Still afraid of getting hurt.

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

And yet, as Namjoon fingers the sheet of paper in between his fingertips, it seems as if it was never that way for you all along. This sheet of paper, the ink a little dull, a little smudged—there are even some particularly wrinkled sections here and there.

Tears, Namjoon realizes.

You had cried over him.

At this thought, Namjoon’s heart aches. All this time he had been so preoccupied with his own suffering that he had never for a moment stopped to think about you. Yours. How much you were in denial, for sure that Namjoon was supposed to belong with you. The amount of suffering you went through, constant tears and tissues. How deeply obsessive you grew, going back, scrolling to the old texts and the pictures, the screenshots. The gifts that you hoarded as they caught dust in your closet. The jealousy that brewed whenever you saw other girls flock to him. Hating yourself whenever you would compare yourself to them—

Of course Joon would want to be with them. They’re prettier. Skinnier. Prettier. Smarter. Not dumb, ugly like you.

That’s the kind of girl he should be with. A girl that’s up to par with him. Not someone like you, so beneath their feet that you should barely even exist.

It was an inevitable suffering. As if you wanted to be sad. As if you constantly cried for him, it would keep him real. Keep him close to you—when one day you felt nothing for Namjoon, that would be the day that things were truly, really over.

Namjoon quietly places the piece of paper back into the book. His eyes trace the page. He’s not quite sure what’s going on in the story, but he does see one thing.

“I love you, Seaweed Brain.”

And his heart snaps.

Namjoon stands up out of his seat, quickly strides over to the bedroom. The lamplight illuminates your features in a warm golden glow, and Namjoon thinks about how many nights you cried yourself to sleep, wanting him. Dreaming of him.

He feels his eyes welling up and he runs a hand over your hair.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. No matter what he does, he’ll never be able to feel what you felt. The desperation. The hate.

The love.

“I’m sorry.”

some late night emo feels :/

[yourmanz-sodapop]

Moving in together

Namjoon x Top! Male reader

Warnings: N/A Part 1/3

Moving in together was something both Namjoon and yourself had been looking forward to. Even way back when you both were just starting out in your relationship, he knew you would be together for a long time. Low and behold he was right, even when the other members questioned him on how he would make it work with the long training hours and the tours, he always answered with the same phrase, “We’ll make  it work. “

Now here they were helping Namjoon pack all his things. The smile on Namjoons face tells them that this is going to be a good thing for him. 

They’ve been there for everything. Every argument, every time he would cry because he missed you, every bit of news he had about the both of you, he talked so much about you they might as well all be dating you at this point. So when he came to them two months ago saying that you had surprised him with keys to your new house they couldn’t help but be happy for him, he really did deserve it.

“Ok that’s the last of it, so the movers will be here soon Jin-hyung, Yoongi-hyung you guys got that covered right?” he questioned. They smile at his nervousness. “Mhm, go, we can all smell the desperation on you.” Yoongi answers.

“Ok thank you, bye see you later” He rushes out. The uber downstairs had been waiting for almost ten minutes. 

As he’s pulling up he can see you and your brothers unloading your moving van. Are you shirtless? Yes, yes you are, which explains the group of giggling girls across the street. You’re currently helping unload the box with your new bed frame and your brothers unloading the mattress.  Namjoon understands why those girls are fawning over you, you’re hot that’s why. Your muscles contract everytime you move the heavy box, the beads of sweat that slide down your tan skin. He didn’t even notice you walking up to him. That beautiful smile greeting him as you lean down to kiss him. “How are you doing baby?” You can feel his smile as he mumbles and ‘okay’ against your lips. Finally both your dreams were coming true. Since you couldn’t get married this is the closest to marriage you’d get. You stay like that for a minute or two until you hear your brother's voice from behind you, “Okay you two love birds we’re not done yet.” “Coming, coming. Wait inside baby.” Obediently he heads inside and looks around. It’s very beautiful. And to think this is his now too. It's a very spacious house just like what he talked about, and it has a very beautiful ceiling, tall enough to hang a nice chandelier or some hanging lights.  Now that he thinks about it, the kitchen has those soapstone countertops he really liked in that magazine, and the fireplace is just like the one on his pinterest board. He knew you were making renovations to this house, but he didn’t know you renovated the place with his wants and likes in mind. 

“You like it?” he turns around and sees you leaning against the wall. “Like it, I love it, it’s everything I wanted,... literally. How did you get the fireplace right though?” he was confused, you’d only seen it once and it was over his shoulder. “Taehyung and Jungkook shared your pinterest board.” Of course it was those two. It’s a three bedroom house with two full bathrooms and a living room, with a smaller bonus on the other side of the kitchen, the backyard has a pool and a hot tub. A two car garage  even though you only have one. Namjoon has no idea why you bought a house with three rooms but oh well. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After all the members arrived, you and your brothers started unloading the second moving truck while the guys started to unpack a few boxes. Taehyung and Jungkook were in charge of clothes going in the closet, probably a bad move, Taehyung might throw out anything he doesn’t like. Jin was in charge of the kitchen, Yoongi and Jimin were setting up the tv’s and Namjoon was unpacking bathroom necessities. All the while you and your brother set up the bed and finished unloading the trucks.

Once everything was done, and everyone had gone home, the two of you settled into bed, Namjoons head on your chest, your arms around his waist. Soaking everything up as if it could end at any moment. He loved this, he loved knowing that this was his home with you, now he didn’t have to be sad about getting to the dorms late  and not having been able to see you all day because you’ll be here when he gets home. Home, nothing all week has been able to wipe the smile of his face whenever someone says home. This day couldn’t have come fast enough, he’s been waiting for two months while you finished renovations. 

He's happy, that's all you ever wanted.

Next>

[dalamjisung]

fool me once, fool me twice ✿ kim namjoon

genre: angst

word count: 4482

pairing: reader x kim namjoon

description: your best friend tells you to go for it. but before you can, she does...

You meet her during orientation and you don’t really like her then. Her proper clothes and know-it-all comments throw you off after the scene you cause for arriving 30 minutes late to the meeting– in your defense, the campus is huge and you are new to the city. The excuse doesn’t seem to cut it for her and under her heated gaze you shrink, and for a while, you keep your distance. Until you are placed in the same seminar as her and things change, then; they get easier, almost lighter, as you two laugh about you tripping on your way to the coffee shop across the street or as she asks you questions about some social theory she didn’t quite understand. Some sort of friendship is formed there and then, and you think that this might just be what you needed.

Her name is Jisoo, and for months, you call her with admiration in your voice. Beautiful and intelligent, Jisoo is all you think you’ll never be; she is healthy, loved, and admired. You, on the other hand, can barely sleep more than five hours a night, constantly forgets to eat, and never, as they say, ‘put yourself out there.’ But for some reason, she likes you. She thinks you’re funny and adorable and she says you’re smart and pretty, and you think that this is a friendship that will last long… it has to. These are supposed to be the best years of your life, so what more could you wish for but to share it with someone else? Safe to say that back home you weren’t the most extroverted of people– staying at home always a more tempting option that going to a party, a park, a show. Staying inside was safe, back home; it was easy… but you’re not back home anymore and if you don’t make friends now, you might as well go back.

You can always come back, is what your mom says when she drops you off at the dorms. There is always a place for you back home. But going back for you, and for many others as you later discover, means defeat. It means failure. And failure is something you can’t deal with. You won’t. Not after all you did to get where you are. So you make friends instead, as hard as it is in the beginning, as hard as it continues being even after six months. It’s okay though, because Jisoo is there to buffer all awkwardness out of you, and instead of weird, people think you’re funny.

For a while, that’s enough for you; being the funny girl. Until it isn’t anymore and you think it is because he shows up. Or better yet, because Jisoo brought him along.

He introduces himself as Namjoon, but you’ve heard of him before putting a face to the name. The infamous Namjoon, you think as you smile, shaking his hand. It’s something about the way he looks at you, eyes piercing into yours, that makes you nervous and you babble away; joke after joke making him smile and laugh, but those eyes never change, never falter. They size you up and down, they watch your every move, memorize every expression, they make you squirm and sweat and everyone notices. His friends– all of them from the same city as him, all of them talking about the same things as him– laugh and joke and you don’t get it, but you feel it. You feel it as they laugh at you, as they joke about you, as they point to you.

“You’re imagining things,” Is what Jisoo tells you as you voice out your worried. “Don’t worry about it! They adore you!”

“I don’t know…” You mumble, fiddling your thumbs as she drinks from her pint. It’s Friday night, meaning the Psychology department is housing their weekly on-campus social gathering, hoping to unite students from different courses under less pressuring circumstances. “It felt odd.”

“You always thinks it feels odd,” She chuckles, arm loose around your neck as she pulls you closer. “But I promise they like you; how could they not?! You’re amazing!”

You smile and decide to drop it. Jisoo wouldn’t understand, is what you conclude, mainly because everyone loves her; but also because they love her. All of them– Namjoon and his friends. They have so much in common and most of the times you feel like an intruder. You feel like a plus one and that’s when the jokes start, one after the other, forming a shield around you that says hey, you might not like me, but at least I can make you laugh!

“Whatever you say, my love,” You giggle, arm steadying her as she starts to sway.

“Oh, hey Y/N!”

Turning around a bit too fast, Jisoo slips right out of your grasp and onto the group of chatting people, laughing as if it had all been but a funny accident. Eyes wide as they meet his, you gasp in surprise.

“H-Hi Joon,” You smile too wide, too happy, and you know he notices. “Why are you still on campus? It’s almost eig–“

“Just going home from the library,” He chuckles, nodding back to the building behind you. “Just working on dissertation stuff and all of that.”

He is talking, and you hear him, but you notice how his eyes move behind you, to the group of people having fun and laughing and hugging each other and you soften. His lips lift in a gentle smile and at that moment, seeing him like that, you have no wise joke to break the moment, no witty comment to make him laugh. At that moment, you just let him be, giving him a soft nudge with mumbled words.

“Do you want to stay for a bit?” His eyes go a bit wide with the proposition. “Just for a bit, if you’re in a hurry, I mean–“

“I’d love to,” He responds and that’s how your night gets a hell of a lot better. Dropping his bag by his feet as he leans on the wall, Namjoon looks like a model– like a brown-haired, dark-eyed model out for your heart. “How’s school treating you?”

“Ah, you know,” You shrug, chuckling. “Same as everyone– head empty, no thoughts… just social psychology theories on gender inequality and the consequential dread of, once again, knowing that humans are all rotten creatures.”

“Oh, yes, absolutely,” He laughs, brows raised. “That exactly how school is for everyone.”

“You meant to tell me that it isn’t like this for you?!” You fake gasp, hand over your heart. “You have no idea what you’re missing, then.”

“Must be missing a lot,” And his eyes glint with a mischievous, childish glee that makes you giggle like a high schooler with a crush. “Why don’t you show me how it’s truly done, one of these days?”

“I’d love to, but I’m not sure how I’d reach you,” Is this what flirting feels like? Like you are soaring and will never land? “You know, in case it’s an in-the-moment thing.”

“I could never miss a learning opportunity like that,” He says, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “So maybe you can give me your number and I’ll text you?”

“Yes, Namjoon,” You cheer, clapping as he bows down. “Give me solutions, not problems.”

“Only if you give me your number,” He winks and you blush, typing the number anyway. Jisoo sees the exchange and winks, giggling before going back to her conversation.

After that, it only goes uphill. Namjoon stays for a while longer and only when you decide to leave– something about dinner with a friend– he says goodbye to everyone. If you think back to that moment, now that you feel like you have to, you’d notice the way his eyes linger on Jisoo; the way his hand hesitates in her waist or how his smile never leaves when she’s around. But at that moment everything is so good and perfect and mind-blowing and you don’t notice all of that. You don’t notice anything besides how smiled at you or how he looked at you. It was all about you you you and honestly you think it’s a bit your fault– the signs were there and all you had to do was want to see them.

But you didn’t and that’s how you find yourself in Jisoo’s house, sitting in between her flatmate, Woosung, and Namjoon, himself. Jisoo is cutting vegetables for the dinner she insisted on hosting and no matter how much you try, she won’t let you help.

“Sit down and relax,” She chuckles, pushing you back towards the dinner table. “Talk with the guys.”

Gulping nervously, you sit back down, and it’s like you are trapped in between feral animals. Woosung, with his charming smile and sneaky hands on your legs that make you giggle since the first time you met him, months ago; and then Namjoon, with his chest puffed out, voice loud and booming through the tiny kitchen, and arm around the back of your chair. While Woosung leans forward, making himself present in the warmest of ways, Namjoon leans back, slowly observing everything unfold, controlling the situation from afar. The overwhelming tension that runs through your body is what makes you get up, chair screeching against the wooden floor as you rush outside.

The fire pit is empty, the usual light that illuminates everyone as they drink and chat is gone, and you sit in one of the beach chairs propped by the corner, folding your legs to your chest and sighing in relief as silence washed over you. Sometimes– a lot of times, actually– people overwhelmed you; in between their voices coming from left and right and them calling your name repeatedly, you need five minutes of silence to simply… be.

“It’s a lot, huh?”

You don’t have to look to see Woosung’s beaming face by the door. He chuckles when you let your head fall forward, forehead to you knees, and sits down next to you. A comforting hand finds your back, rubbing soothing circles on your back and you turn to smile to him– a friendly thank you.

“A bit too much, yeah,” You mumble, breathing deeply.

“Well, then you should prepare yourself, cause Lia just got here.”

That makes you groan in preemptive pain. Lia, also known as one of Jisoo’s best friends, absolutely hates you. And that’s a fact. She makes no point in hiding it, and you make no point in pretending not to know… she loathes you. And you have your theories as to why– well, actually, just one theory.

Jisoo.

You truly believe that Lia is jealous of you because of Jisoo. You stole her friend. You are younger, as she always makes a point of noting to everyone. Jisoo spends more time with you than with anyone else and Lia doesn’t like it. Just like how she doesn’t like you.

“Oh, Y/N is here?”

Woosung sighs before turning to look at Lia leaning by the door. He looks back at you before offering her a charming smile and pushing her back inside. Following right after, you feel like you walked into a whole different room. Jisoo and Namjoon are giggling in the corner, staring into each other’s eyes until your friend blinks and a victorious “ha! I win!” comes from the taller man. Woosung, on the other hand, is busy laughing away with Lia and for that you are actually thankful, happy that someone is keeping her busy enough to not bother you. Sitting down back at the table just feels wrong at this point, a chill going down your spine as you suddenly feel very out of place, and you know it’s time to go home.

“Jisoo,” You mumble, voice quiet in a way that makes her frown and pet your head. “I think I’m gonna go home, babe. I’m super tired and we have that big essay due in a few days.”

“Aw, so soon?” She pouts, but nods anyway. “It’s quite late already, I’m sorry we started to cook so late… will you be okay out there by yourself? You can sleep here, you know?”

“Yeah, but you know I’m all weird about sleeping in a bed that’s not mine,” You chuckle, shaking your head as you move to the living room to get your bag from where you left it in the couch.

That’s where Woosung finds you, looking at one of the wilderness pictures he turned into a poster. You know it’s his picture because at one of the many house parties they threw, he found you having some alone time in the living room and you two ended up talking the whole night. It was the only time you slept over Jisoo’s, and the next day you woke up with a weird kink on your neck from sleeping on the man’s shoulder.

“We all know that,” He says, winking. You roll your eyes with a teasing smile and hug him goodbye, basking in the forever warmth of Woosung before promising to text him when you get home. “Wait!”

“Yeah?” Your hand is one the door.

“I’ll wait with you on the bus station,” Woosung says, nodding to himself. “It’s too late for you to be outside by yourself.”

“Oh, no need, man,” Namjoon suddenly appears from the kitchen, jacket on and backpack in hands. He is looking at something on his phone before raising his head and patting Woosung on his back. “I’m leaving too, so I’ll just stay there with her.”

“Uh, you don’t have to–“

“I want to,” Namjoon smiles and oh man, that smile. That smile is enough to have you weak at the knees, dimples showing and eyes almost gone under the weight of that perfect, warm, comforting smile. “Now let’s go, it’s really getting late and I know you get crabby when you don’t sleep enough.”

“Oh, come on,” You grumble, blushing as he pushed you through the front door. “I am never crabby.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” He laughs. “Lia threw some hard comments at you there and you just laughed it off like a pro. I’ve never seen someone more… zen.”

“It’s all about smiling and waving, boys,” You joke, and even though unexpectedly, Namjoon laughs at your Madagascar reference.

“Cute,” He mumbles.

You two walk in silence; Namjoon with his bike next to him, and you pulling your jacket closer, waiting for the bus that was apparently late.

“You can go,” You tell him after a while, frowning at the empty street. “It’s getting late and cold and–"

“I’m not leaving until I see you get inside a bus,” He shakes his head, and the man’s never looked so hot before. But of course everything that goes up, has to come down, and when he opens his mouth and no sounds comes out, you wait. You wait because you know that what comes next, you won’t like. “Y/N… can I ask you something?”

“Of course!” You say, and it comes out a bit too chirpy, a bit too fake.

“Do… do you know if Jisoo is seeing someone?”

“Uh… not that I know of, no,” You smile, but it never reaches your eyes. Almost like a defensive mechanism though, your face twists until it’s set on a teasing smirk. “Why? You want to ask her out?”

“Hm,” He hums, laughing at your wiggling brows. “Maybe I will. We’ll see.”

“Well, if you want to, you should just go for it,” You don’t know why you’re telling him that, you don’t understand, but words just come out and they won’t stop. “There is no way for you to know until you ask her.”

“You think so?”

You know so.

“Absolutely.”

And then your bus come, and with a quick hug, he’s gone in his bike.

————————————————————

You actually see Namjoon again two days later, on a lazy Sunday that demanded a bit too much of your inexistent will to get things done. Your computer had broken down and you dropped it off at the repair store before heading to Jisoo’s for that god forsaken dinner.

“When I asked them to make it quick, I didn’t mean on a Sunday,” You whine, dragging your feet to the gigantic electronics store while Namjoon patted your back.

“At least now you’ll be able to continue with your dissertation,” He says absentmindedly, and that makes you whine even louder. “Oh come on, you love studying, you nerd.”

“So do you,” You elbow him in the ribs lightly, queueing up.

“Especially together,” He smiles wide, and you roll your eyes, but not at him, no– you roll your eyes at your stupid heart, doing soft badum-badums. “Okay, how about you go get your computer, and I’ll go get us coffee?”

“You don’t drink coffee,” You point out, squinting suspiciously.

“But you do,” He chuckles, voice deep and low. “Unhealthy amounts of it, if I do say so myself.”

“You do not say so yourself,” You push him away. “Can you get me a–“

“Large latte, whole milk, two sugars,” He shouts, waving with his back to you. “See you in ten.”

And if the cheesy lines didn’t get to you before, this definitely did the trick.

It doesn’t take long for you to get your computer, and true to his word, he is waiting outside for you, coffee in one hand and a bag in the other. Namjoon is quick to give you both, gently guiding through the streets you as you have your first meal of the day, and before you know it, you are sitting on a bench in the middle of a park, watching a couple play tennis in the court.

“Y/N, have you seen Jisoo this weekend?”

“Yeah,” You smile, unknowingly. “We went out yesterday for food.”

You remember the dinner with fondness. It was the first time you and Jisoo actually talked boys without the looming presence of other people around. It was the first time it was just you two, giggling with a youth that runs away the more you chase it, talking boys and calling yourselves girls. It was a night that relaxing was allowed, and none of you thought about Master’s dissertation, or jobs, or the adult life waiting to trap you into a system of working to live, and living to work. You also remember asking her is she thought Namjoon was hitting on you. Her eyes widen a bit, and tells you that yes, she did get some flirty vibes from him and that you should just see where this goes. Have fun, is what she told you, laughing with a twinkle in her eyes. It was a good night, you conclude, nodding to yourself.

“So she told you, right?"

“What?”

“She… she told you about me, right?”

“W-What about you?” You whisper, eyes wide and round, and you feel it again– the cold chill going down your spine.

“Oh.”

And it’s so awkward for a moment; it’s so weird and unnatural and unlike you two that it makes you want to cry.

“She didn’t tell you, then…” Namjoon scoffs, looking down at his hands while shaking his head. “I… I thought she’d tell you. You’re her best friend.”

“Uh… I-I’m sorry, I don’t know–“

“It’s not your fault,” Namjoon says, hand flying to pat your knee. “It’s just– I mean, I can’t help but feel frustrated.”

“What happened, Joon?”

“She made a fool out of me, I guess,” He shrugs. “We… were having a thing– or at least I thought we were! And we slept together and suddenly she is cold and distant and I like her, you know?! I really do, because she is smart, and beautiful, and funny, but… I don’t know.”

“Oh,” Is all that you manage, still trying to wrap your head around all the news.

“Yeah… remember your birthday? When you did that lunch and she was late?”

“How do you know about that?” You frown, confused.

“She was with me.”

“That was two weeks ago,” You breathe out, realization settling in. Two weeks ago, you repeat to yourself. Two weeks, so last night…

You’ve never felt like an idiot as much as you do, right now. Never felt this betrayed before; this disappointed. But then it switches, and you can’t find it within yourself to be angry at her, no… your were angry at yourself– were you that bad of a friend that Jisoo felt the need to hide that from you? Were you that self-involved that you didn’t even give her space to feel safe and talk about it?

“Yeah, I know,” Namjoon scoffs, and it’s almost like something downs on him, and he turns to you with desperation in his face, hands holding yours in plea. “You can’t tell her I told you, Y/N! If she didn’t tell you, there is probably a reason why, and I didn’t mean to spill it like this and–“

“Don’t worry about it,” You laugh humorlessly, head a bit dizzy. “This is none of my business… I’ll just stay out of it. Pinky promise.”

“Pinky promise…?” The way your heart pitter-patters at his confusion at your little finger stretched out to him is enough to have you wanting to vomit, suddenly overwhelmed with the reality of it all.

“Yeah,” You force yourself to lace your pinky with his. “That means that if I break my promise, you can cut my pinky off.”

His hearty laugh doesn’t help with the nausea.

“I would never hurt you,” He mumbles, sliding his arm behind your shoulders and hugging you to him. You can’t do anything but wait until it’s over. “Thanks for being here for me.”

“Always, Joon,” You mumble, closing your eyes.

Going home was almost like your body’s been set to automatic, one foot in front of the other into the bus, and then out of it. Your flatmate is home when you get there, baking and filling the house with a comforting smell of butter and sugar and that sets you off so quickly that you barely make it to the couch, crumbling in the hallway in tears. It’s all too much– trying to understand the reason why, how, when. She guides you to the living room, where she sits you down and simply listens. You can see the confusion settling in her the same way it did on you, and when you are done, she hugs you.

“I can’t believe she did this,” She sighs, pulling away to get you some tea. “I can’t… what was she thinking?! She knew he liked her, she knew they were doing whatever they were doing, and she was still encouraging you to go after him? What the fuck is that? An elaborate plan to–“

“Do you think he became my friend because he liked her?”

The question is the one that’s been weighting on your shoulders ever since Namjoon waved you goodbye at the bus station. It’s like he was the key to your Pandora Box, and now that everything was out in the open, things that you barely remembered before, come to the front of your mind and you can’t stop thinking about them…

…about how prettier Jisoo is.

…about how smarter Jisoo is.

…about how nicer, and funnier, and kinder Jisoo is.

It pains you to compare yourself to your friend, it really does. You loathe competition, hates the feeling that it brews inside of you, but it’s almost like suddenly you are put under a spotlight, and people will get to pick and choose what to comment on, what to tell you is wrong with you. What to point out in you and tell you how much worse it is in comparison to Jisoo.

Because people know. And that you know. Namjoon surely told Jin and Yoongi. They are his best friends. And as much as you adore them, Jin can’t keep a secret to save his life. Meaning the whole department on campus knows.

The whole department except you, technically.

The buzzing from your phone won’t stop and it’s giving you a headache, so when you grab it and see Jisoo’s name with the contact picture of you two smiling at each other, it’s an instinct to pick up. It’s an instinct to always be there for Jisoo, because that’s the kind of person you are. You’d give everything to those you love, even if they just take it and take it and never give anything in return.

“H-Hello?”

The disbelief in the face of your flatmate has you shrinking down on the couch.

“Babe!” Jisoo’s cheery voice echoes in your pouring head and you wince. “Where are you? Woosung, Lia, and I are going to a tea house and get some proper afternoon tea! Come meet us– I sent you the address already!”

“I…” Your eyes wander to your flatmate and you see her shaking her head. “I can’t.”

“What?” And you know she is pouting. “Why?! I haven’t seen you since dinner on Friday!”

“I have to… take care of the dog,” It’s the first thing that comes to mind as you see your flatmate’s dog sleeping peacefully in his bed, white fluffy fur going steadily up and down and up and down and up and down and–

“Again?”

“Yep,” You clear your throat, pithing the bridge of your nose. “She’s on a date and I need to watch him. Sorry, Jisoo, maybe next time.”

“Yeah… babe, are you okay? You sound a bit off,” She mumbles, and it hurts you even more to lie to her.

“I’m all good, just a bit tired.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely!” The fake happiness is so obvious, but you don’t have the energy to care about that. “Have fun, you guys! I got to go.”

“Alright, will I see you in the library tomorrow, then?” She asks, and you just want to hang up, hang up, goddammit. “Our usual pla–“

“I don’t think I’m coming in tomorrow,” You tell her, thumb hovering over the red button on the screen.

“Wha–“

“Oh, time to feed the wild beast,” You joke, saying goodbye and then turning off your phone completely.

Your flatmate stares at you, sympathetic smile on her face as she closes the curtains in the living room, bringing to the couch the fresh cookies, still warm, and putting on a dumb movie that you can cry about without feeling pathetic for it.

When you turn your phone on again, before going to bed, you have messages and missed calls from both Jisoo and Namjoon, and you just ignore them.

It’s better this way.

For all of you… you fooled yourself once, you’re not gonna let yourself do it again.

——————————

this has been in my desktop for a while and I decided it was finally time to finish, once I realized I could write about it in peace. I hope you enjoy it my loves! Let me know what you think! Comment, share, like– help a fren out ❤️

[cuddlybambam]

And when I kiss him right on the mouth, then what?

[sugasmainn]

Flaws And All [Jimin One Shot]

Masterlist

Word Count: 1,346 words

Summary: You and Jimin work together at a financial firm. Jimin was one of the only coworkers you tolerated, because he felt the same way about the same people you did. You got along great. After some time, you became more acquainted, and you even started to, dare you say, become attracted to him, but you pulled back your feelings. Now, sitting in this break room, you and Jimin start to get more personal then you have before.

Warning(s): Mental Health, Drugs

           Ever since he started working here, it’s been hard to focus on anything. Every day, he brings me coffee and sits with me in the lunchroom during our break. He talks about almost anything with me, and he always knows how to keep a conversation going. Park Jimin, the new tech manager and the guy who has been capturing my heart. Today went no different. Coffee, and now we are sitting in the lunchroom, discussing about how life is going for us.

           “So, you can speak Spanish?” He asked me, looking shocked.

           “You didn’t know that I’m originally from Ecuador?” I asked him, chuckling a bit.

           “Not really. I never really asked though, so I wouldn’t have guessed.”

           “Spanish was my first language, then I came to America. After college graduation, I moved over here to South Korea. I wanted to expand elsewhere and see what else is beyond my norm.” We sat there laughing and discussing further, I even threw in some Spanish here and there to help him learn. He was telling me how he always wanted to learn English and Spanish, but thought it was too hard. Him sitting there, it was hard to focus. My infatuation with him is only growing stronger, and I can’t seem to think of anything but how life would be if we did start dating. His mouth is moving, but my thoughts are drowning him out. How would we be like as a couple? Am I even enough for him? I’m so inexperienced with dating. He’s not going to want you once he knows. The voice in the back of my mind was drowning out the pleasant thoughts I had before.

           “What do you want out of life? Like beyond this place” He asked me, with kind eyes.

           Before I could stop myself, the word vomit came out, making me say, “I’d really like to be a mother someday.”

           “A mother?” He said, surprised. “I’m sure you’d make a great mom. Do you like children?”

           “I’ve always had a passion for children. If I wasn’t here, I’d probably try to become a counselor for younger kids.”

           He started smiling and laughed to himself. Was something I said funny? “I’m sorry for laughing, it’s not that what you said was funny, it’s just I think it’s sweet” He said to me.

           “Thank you, and what about you? What would you want to do?”

           “I’ve always been a dancer, so I wish I had gone forward to do something with that.”

           I still couldn’t help but feel off since I mentioned about being a mother. No one knows, because I’d be too ashamed if they found out. Since abusing drugs in my mid to late teens, it caused some fertility issues. I found out when I was 2 years sober and went to the emergency room for stomach cramping. Originally, I had thought it was period cramps, but after a day, and still saw no blood, I took myself to the hospital. They ran tests, did x-rays, and eventually found that my uterus had an infection from the over drug usage I had gotten my body used too. Now, they said my possibility of having a child is 1 in 10,000. Not impossible, but that’s sure what it feels like. Hearing this news nearly put me into a suicidal state. I was always good with kids, and I knew being a mom was something I wanted to be. After fucking up so badly by being a drug addict, I felt that, even though I screwed up myself, I can still redeem myself and be a good mother. That, I can give a life to someone I never had and feel like I have a purpose again. Just thinking about it still rushes back the feelings from that day.

           I guess Jimin noticed that I spaced out a bit, because he looked at me concerned and said, “Hey, are you okay Y/N?”

           “Yeah, I’m fine” I said trying to hold in my tears and plaster a smile on my face.

           Then, he did something I really didn’t expect, he took my hand in his and looked me straight in the eyes.  “I can tell when someone is pushing down tears” He said, now getting up to close the break room door. “There. Now tell me what’s going on.”

           I stayed silent, still stuck in position.

           Taking my hand again, he said, “We’re friends Y/N. You know you can trust me if you need too. Holding things down isn’t healthy, in fact, it’s just going to make it worse for you. And, I care about you. I’m not going to force you if you don’t want to, but I wanted to let you know that I’m here for you if you need me.”

           And just like that, I couldn’t stop the water works that were coming from my eyes. I felt like I wasn’t even in control of my own body anymore, let alone my own life. “It’s too much baggage for someone who’s not involved to take on, plus, you won’t see me the same” I said trying to wipe off the tears and pull myself together.

           “Nothing you tell me is going to make me think any less of you.”

           Well, hold onto that thought Park Jimin. I began telling him most of the story, only the important details. Being a drug addict, finding out I had an infection from the drugs that caused fertility issues, my depression from it, etc. He looked at me emotionless, and it made it hard for me to even see what he was thinking. Did he even view me differently? Or was all of it too much for him? Or did he just simply not know what to say?

           “Wow” Was all he replied with.

           “I’m sorry, maybe I should have ju-“

           “No, I’m just shocked is all. You’re stronger than I thought you were.”

           “Excuse me?” I asked, visibly shocked.

           “You’re strong” He said, now taking both of my hands. “And it’s something I’ve always loved about you Y/N.”

           I was too shocked to reply. Park Jimin, the man who was just as handsome in personality as he was in his looks and could have any girl he wants is…telling me this? And not only just because, I’m, well, me, but right after I told him something that would make any guy not look twice at me. Because, I’m too “broken”.

           “You don’t see me as broken?”

           “Of course not. You’re independent, living on your own with a good paying job in a country you had to learn the language, learn a new culture and rebuild a life for yourself. Not only that, but your personality shines through, even on days where this office is just unbearable. I’ve always admired you” He said, now looking shy. “I’ve actually always wanted to ask you out, but I was always too nervous to ask.”            “Really? You don’t care about the fertility issues?”

           “What do you mean?”

           “Any other guy I date, and bring up this issue, they tell me about how they don’t want to risk it, because they want a family. Which, I can’t blame them, or you, if it’s a problem.”

           He looked at my face, now letting go of my hands, and giving me a look of comfort, saying, “I do want a family, I always have, but there are always other options to having kids. If I fall in love, there’s no other option to the person I fall in love with, because my heart already belongs to them” He said getting closer to me. “And besides, we’re not that far into anything yet, so let’s not think about building a family for right now. Right now, I want to take you out, and on a proper date. What do you say?”

           Without hesitation, I said, “Of course, I’d love that.” He accepts me for my flaws and all, because he sees past it all for who I actually am. I can already feel, this is the start of something amazing.

[mae-gi-writes]

We’re Just Friends (RM/Namjoon x OC): Part One

Synopsis: In which Namjoon and Yehwa have been best friends since childhood, until Namjoon falls in love with one of their classmates. Cue the drama. 

Part: One | 

When I was little, my mother used to tell me that confiding everything to a single boy was a bad idea.

I couldn’t understand where her logic had come from.

But now, maybe I do.

Scratch off the maybe part, I really do understand what she means by that.

“Please Yehwa,” I can see the desperation embedded in Namjoon’s features as he begs for me to lend him a copy of my homework, just because he does not understand the simple concept of French Grammar and had totally ignored the homework given by the teacher yesterday just before the bell rang, his desire to go skate getting the best of him. And now, he’s on the brink of breaking into a sweat, either that or having a panic attack. It’s understandable, considering that the French Teacher is a real bitch and doesn’t give any second chances.

Where Namjoon’s concerned, he’s already on her blacklist.

It’s not like he’s always struggling like this in all his classes. To be fair, he gets along quite well with Maths, Physics, and all the other subjects that require logical thinking and critical perspective. But French is the one thing that I can gloat about in his face, for although he has the brain of a mastermind that can solve literally anything —and I’m not joking when I say literally everything— it seems like his ability to learn new languages is almost as weak as a red goldfish’s.

I push his restraining arm away with a roll of my eyes, “That’s what you get for not listening in class.”

“Come on, It’ll be the last time. I promise.” He cups his face with his hands as he slides his elbows onto the table and sends me that look, that look he always does when he knows he’s wrong but tries to convince me to help him anyway. “Hm?”

I sigh, and with a reluctant hand, hand him over my assignment in defeat. He’s never going to let me off the hook if I don’t show a bit of compliance. And who am I to kid anyway? He would’ve gotten someone to help him either way, even if I didn’t help him.

He grins and ruffles my hair, “You’re the best, you know that?”

I huff, “Of course I know.”

It would’ve been a normal day, like any other. The bell had rung for fifth period—French— and Namjoon managed not to get his head chopped off by the French Teacher once more, and school ended as per usual. I remember standing there, waiting for him to come out of the classroom because we always walked home together. It was an unspoken rule between us ever since we became friends — best friends— and really it had just become part of my routine.

And then I remember.

I remember that it had been raining that day.

The rain was what started it all.

I watch the droplets fall to the ground, plummeting onto the sidewalk in an echo of soothing symphonies  like pebbles rolling along a river, before fetching my umbrella from my backpack. It’s not like I dislike the rain, but when I have to walk all the way back home it gets kind of annoying to have water sloshing in your shoes and water making your hair stick to the sides of your face like you’d just taken an involuntarily bath. Now I know how dogs feel like whenever they had their shower times.

“You’re kidding me,” the familiar alto belonging to the owner I’m waiting for rings behind me, and I turn with a scowl to ask him, “Why are you so late?”

“Sorry, I got caught up talking to the guys.” he rubs the side of his head, an act that he only does when he’s slightly guilty, and my heart softens a little.

I punch his arm jokingly when he comes closer, “Please tell me you have an umbrella.”

“I do.” He makes a face at me and pulls out his own, opening it with an extravagant flourish that causes a chuckle to fall from my lips. He tilts his head at me in a silent proposal to go home, and I answer with a single nod, a small grin on my face.

The raindrops seem to pick up their pace and rhythm and the wind isn’t helping as we try to make our way out of the courtyard. I try my best to make myself as small as possible when the water splashes involuntarily up my legs, the cold wetness making me hiss, more in shock than in pain. If it’s like this when we’re still in school, then I’ll sure be drenched by the end of my walk back home.

Ain’t that great.

In my peripheral, I notice a figure running past us, their coat flying behind them as they try their best to cover their heads against the heated rainfall.

Pity swells slightly within my chest, before Namjoon suddenly voices out his thoughts, “I think I know that girl.”

“Huh?” I turn around once more to watch the said individual take refuge under a tree that isn’t doing a very good job at keeping her dry from the endless rain. I squint and wonder whether her face is a familiar one, but nothing comes to me.

I shake my head, “I don’t know her.”

“She’s in my Creative Writing class. The one I take as an activity?”

“Mhm.”

He adjusts his bag more securely onto his shoulder, “Maybe I should go help.”

“Oh, prince charming now are you?” I snigger, but before he can open his mouth to retort back his answer, I swat him away with a hand, “Just go. She needs it.”

“Stop making fun of me,” he throws me a pointed look before walking away. I pull my tongue out at him behind his back while replying, “I’m definitely going to ask about this when I’m home!”

I didn’t know then, that this one agreement would mean that I could lose him for the rest of my life.

I didn’t know that this would set off an alarm and wreck the deeply embedded roots of our friendship.

I didn’t know.

-----

I see him at school the next day and proceed to slap his back with everything that I have, a punishment for not replying to me yesterday when I asked if everything had gone alright.

But when he turns and flashes me this smile, the smile that made me realize years later that there was something underneath the waters that I didn’t know about, I knew for a fact that this boy had been a goner from before the time he requested to accompany her to a nearby bus station.

“What’s up?” I say as I casually sit down next to him like I always do. He has this sort of expression on his face, the kind that’s unidentifiable and yet, makes me twitch with a sense that there is something he’s hiding behind that face of his, behind that seemingly innocent expression.

“Nothing much.” his reply comes a little too quickly, where I can only raise a brow in question, “Oh, something’s definitely up.”

I haven’t seen Namjoon blush in a really long time, and the last time he’s confessed his affections for a certain individual had been in elementary school, sixth grade, where he almost immediately got rejected. That was before the time we actually started talking, and I remembered feeling pitiful towards the boy whose heart and soul got broken when the said girl had skipped away after telling him that he as an ugly monster and that no one would date him.

Up until now, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Namjoon trying to hit on other girls.

So might as well start now.

“Care to tell me about your walk after school yesterday?” I say, wriggling my eyes suggestively, to which he can only roll his eyes and turn away from me in an attempt to hide the growing smile on his face.

But I catch him anyway, and cross my arms in satisfaction, “Oh my god, Namjoon. It only takes a rainy day, a soaked girl and a shared umbrella for you to be so smitten?’

“It’s not like that.” he protests even though the way he avoids my gaze says otherwise.

“Come on,” I nudge him consistently so that he’d give up and start talking, if only to get rid of me being an annoying pest at his side, “just tell me what happened.”

“Nothing. I asked her if she wanted to share the umbrella. She said she was going towards the bus station, so I walked her there. We talked. And that’s it.”

Still, I know he’s not giving me the full story, and I know that he knows from the look on my face that I’m not completely satisfied with what he has to say. So he sighs in reluctance while scratching the back of his neck, a slither of a murmur leaving his lips, “And we might have exchanged numbers and texted yesterday night.”

Now that’s better. “So that’s why you haven’t been replying my messages.” I grin, “Totally makes sense. Usually, I’d scream at you, but since this is a special case, I’ll let you off this time.”

He scoffs, “You talk as if you’re actually a threat.”

“What did you say?!”

“Nothing” He singsongs, “Come on, before I get another lecture from that poor excuse of a French Teacher.”

I still didn’t know then.

A/N: First chapter is up! What do you think of it??? :) This will be your typical stereotypical bestfriend au and yes ladies and gentlemen I am not afraid to say that stereotypes are actual truth. My experience is the living proof of it so cheers to the cute predictable bestfriends turned to lover’s story!  Thanks for reading :) xx

[bangtan-spells]

Scenario with Namjoon for Christmas! Namjoon and y/n forgot a present that their daughter really wanted(like hey remembered everything execpt that special one) and its on Christmas eve! So they leave the house and the members stay with their daughter and Namjoon told them just to make sure she's still asleep and they end up waking her *cough *cough* taekook! And Namjoon and y/n end up getting the present and the end all of BTS and y/n and her daughter end up staying up and open their presents!

BTS Christmas Drabbles❄ #28: Namjoon.

Through his panic Namjoon had been very clear about what they had and had not to do. They were all enjoying a nice happy christmas together in family when suddenly you remembered, you had gotten everything in Hyejoon’s letter to santa, everything except the new barbie doll house princess edition, the thing had been on the tv for the whole month of december and your daughter was obsessed with it.

So when you remembered you had forgotten just that you both knew you had to try to fix your little mishap. Seeing Hyejoon was asleep you sneaked out of the house leaving your daughter with her uncles while you tried to make it on time.

-Quiet, don’t you know what quiet means?- Jungkook told Taehyung although he was being everything but quiet.

-she won’t hear-

-she will-

-she will hear you both- Jimin intervened.

Namjoon had left the five uncles to take care of his little girl, the most important mission was to not wake her up but judging by the youngest bickering they would fail. Jin was trying to make them quiet without succeeding,  Hoseok who had Hyejoon’s head resting on his lap was trying with all his might not to move too much, something merely impossible for him specially when it was more than obvious he wanted to join the playfight, Yoongi  frowned serving himself more whiskey, It was a wonder how she wasn’t awake already.

Taehyung and Jungkook had started reacting fight from an old video game they all played and of course weren’t quiet about it so despite Yoongi and jin shushing them back and forth, Hyejoon woke up.

Her eyes fixed on Hoseok and when he saw her he jumped, forgetting she was actually resting on his lap so Jimin rushed to catch her before she rolled down to the floor.

-I’m sorry, I’m sorry-

Hoseok helped Hyejoon up and she just giggled, they just tried to distract her with games and other things but Hyejoon was too smart and insistent, it was getting hard to distract her from the fact that it maybe wasn’t morning but it was already Christmas.

-Please uncle, please- she stared longingly at Jin and Jimin, fisting their shirts. -I want to open the gifts-

-But won’t you wait for your parents?- Hyejoon looked down debating the importance of her parents presence or not when they all heard the door.

You were coming back with Namjoon and the first thing you noticed were the rushed tiny steps coming your way with little jumps.

-Mommy mommy! it’s Christmas!-

Namjoon looked at you surprised but not amazed at the fact that his friends, were unable to keep his daughter asleep.

-It sure is, why are you awake Hyejoonie?- he lifter her in his arms and she giggled excited.

-For the gifts daddy-

You all laughed about that, her excitement was so cute and now they could breathed deeply because Hyejoon’s star gift was wrapped and ready for her, so they made a circle with for her to open the gifts surrounded by the people who cared the most for her.