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#rather than if they’re religious or not
peaches2217 · 2 days
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Having been raised in a cult that started off as a legitimate church and now seeking faith on my own terms, I’ve recently (as in, like, three days ago) developed a hyperfixation for researching various denominations of Christianity. It’s incredible, how little I knew about what denominations actually believe what.
TW: Reflections on religious extremism and experiences (nothing traumatic, I’m keeping this lighthearted, but I know it can be touchy!)
When my cult was still a church, it was an Assemblies of God church, and I’m fairly certain they still hold to a lot of that doctrine, just with even more heaping helpings of fire and brimstone and doomsday. We were taught to jokingly view Southern Baptists (or just “Baptists,” because they refused to acknowledge American Baptists and I didn’t even realize American Baptism was a THING until recently) as our rivals: they were our polar opposite in practice but equals in theology, and all other denominations just couldn’t get it right or were too scared to break free from Catholicism. We were told Catholics and those who worshiped and believed like them weren’t true Christians and destined for Hell. There was no interdenominational unity and collaboration, nor was there any encouragement to look at other denominations’ doctrine. Ours was right, the Baptists were close enough, and nothing else held any sort of merit.
(I’m pretty sure now they’ve even cut out the Baptist sympathetics, and while it’s become wholly self-contained, they’re still accepted as an AoG church — albeit a more extreme example of the denomination — but I can’t say any of that with certainty. I’d ask my dad but, well, he’s still wholly devoted to the cult, I don’t trust him to be objective in his view. 😅)
I briefly attended an Episcopal church before I moved last year, mostly because it was the polar oppose of what I was raised in and there was something very comforting about that (plus they’re openly supportive of things like LGBTQ+ rights), but ultimately my dad and FB friends kinda shamed me out of attending because “There’s no blessing in structure, sis!”. My hope was to start going to the Episcopal church here where I currently live, but when I showed up last week, there were exactly two people and they gave me rather dirty looks, so I quickly high-tailed it back to my car.
I ended up at a Methodist church because I was running behind and theirs was the only non-Baptist service that hadn’t started yet, and… I dunno. They had some trappings of my birth cult, sang some of the same songs, but there was also a structure to things like I’d seen in the Episcopal church. No hour-long praise and worship where you make a show of screaming and crying harder than anyone else, followed by an hour-long sermon that leads into another two-hour stretch of loud music and light shows and shouldaboughtahyundai steadIboughtakias until everyone was either unconscious or in a state of religious ecstasy; there was an order to things, with opportunities to take time in private prayer at the alter or at your seat, and the sermon was heartfelt and impactful but never once delved into the pastor screaming frantically into the mic. I followed their website to the official doctrine of the United Methodist denomination, and I was shocked to find that I agreed with most of it.
And that shocked me because, due to their notoriously liberal stances and heavy Catholic influence, my dad and those around me always told me that the Episcopal church isn’t really respectable. Most of them, however, consider Methodism a perfectly legitimate denomination that gets enough right to be deemed a proper church… and their doctrine isn’t much more conservative than Episcopalian doctrine. They have no formal stance on queer issues (which I’ll take over “Y’all are going to Hell” any day) but they’re vocal proponents of social justice and sexual education, both things I was taught growing up are evil.
And that’s the long-winded explanation of how I got to where I am now: digging deep into what each denomination actually believes, because I knew my viewpoint was limited by experience and further restrained by indoctrination and trauma, but holy fuck, I didn’t realize just how crazy my cult’s beliefs were until I started comparing all the doctrine. Of course doctrine isn’t everything, I know that, but the more I read, the more and more I realize that the faith I was raised in wasn’t all that Christlike after all.
A side note: my boss let me take half a day off on Sunday to go back to that church. The pastor’s husband came up and greeted me, told me his wife had mentioned meeting me, asked me a couple questions, standard New Person in Church-type stuff. I got about two questions in before I was shaking visibly and so scared I went briefly nonverbal, because for how kindly I’ve been treated and how strong my faith is, I’ve still got hella religious trauma. I alluded to being raised in church and had my trans and enby pride bracelets on, along with my bigender symbol necklace, so I’m pretty sure he could infer exactly why I was so scared.
He clasped my hand and said, in a quiet voice with a little smile, “You’re safe here. This is a safe place. We’re so glad you’re here.” I couldn’t say anything except thank you, but I hope it was enough to express just how deeply those words impacted me.
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communistkenobi · 2 years
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the religion chapter in auth personality is kind of a flop
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ancientbread · 1 year
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Aziraphale girlies who are in the absolute trenches fighting for his life rn I love you
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sometimes you read something for a fandom you were crazy over years ago and you encounter one of the ships you loved back then and you just think “yeahhhh…. this is still great :) way to go younger me you were so based about this actually :)”
#anyway I still care a lot about Obitine apparently#their respective commitment to their respective ideals and moral codes… the way they love each other more than life#(literally. they’re so willing to die for each other.)#and yet that never leads them to violate who they /are/ or who the other person is#Satine is willing to never see him again rather than ask him to leave the Order. he is willing to leave the Order all she has to do is ask#they are able to rest in their love for one another bc they know the other loves them in such a way that they would never ask#for their compromise#idk this makes very little sense it’s 2 a.m. I’m delirious I have church in the morning but I wanna rewatch some Clone Wars now#hfhfhfhhdhdhdhehdhdhdhfbbdsjsjfhfj#gurt says stuff#edit: wait actually this is so funny—bc I just realized that Din Djarin and Obi-Wan are quite similar in a lot of ways#so the parallels here are incredibly funny to me for some reason. the Kryze women just have a Thing for reserved men who are#completely devoted to their religious values and would do practically anything for their adopted family huh#(ftr I don’t know if I ship DinBo or not but I do understand the appeal and I am open to the possibility of the writers play it right#still bitter about losing Cara tho. bc I was SO curious to see how Misters Filoni and Favreau were going to develop that#n I had a vague suspicion based on my knowledge of how Filonis brain and stories work that ~something~ may have been meant to happen there)
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libraincarnate · 5 months
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astrology notes: 17 (mature edition pt. 2) ♡✨
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quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. you can apply the astrology notes below to your mars, venus, pluto, lilith, and eros placements since they relate to sex, desire, seduction, and attraction. and for those same reasons, those planets, points, and asteroids may be mentioned repeatedly throughout this post in addition to aries, scorpio, and the 8th house. so, apply it how it fits according to your chart. keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. lastly, minors do not interact - sexual content - mature readers only! enjoy 👄
🌷lilith in the 5th house: could be into provocative or sexual ways of performing like being a stripper or burlesque dancer. if they’re not the one’s doing the dancing then they may like going to strip clubs or burlesque shows. regardless, 5th house placements might like to dance on their partner, like giving them a lap dance. or they like playing strip games that lead to sex such as strip poker, beer pong, twister, etc. and like gemini, those with mars in the 5th house are most likely a big tease.
🌷sag is considered the type to go from person to person, but for the right person they’ll be willing to wait for marriage if that’s something sag and their partner wants. that could also be something that attracts sag to that person - their unwillingness to compromise their faith in God or their observance of their religious principles such as not having sex before marriage, but also the fact that their person isn’t quick to give in to what sag wants or to fall for sag’s charm.
🌷 leo may prefer to have the lights on rather than off. they want to see theirs and their partner’s body, but they also want their partner to see theirs. how else is their partner supposed to compliment them on how good they look naked? and like 2nd house placements, they may like to watch themselves having sex in the mirror. they could even want a mirror on the ceiling above their bed.
🌷 virgo risings may come off as innocent but with aries in their 8th house, not only do they prefer a partner who is dominant because they're typically the submissive types, but they also have their moments where they want to take over and express a little bit of their dominant side. they can take it but they can also give some of that same energy back. in this case, their looks may be deceiving and their sexual side may come as a surprise. this individual, including those with mars in virgo, can be quite picky with their sexual partners. and if you’re going to have sex with them, they’ll most likely make sure you’re clean first. this can mean taking a shower first or at least having clean hands/nails and no body odor. in addition, they could be the type to want you to get tested first to make sure you’re clean from STDs, and for these reasons they might not be interested in one night stands. 
🌷 asteroid eros (433) in aries and even other aries placements may like their head held and caressed or having fingers running through their hair, and they might like pulling on their partner’s hair. they’re also the types to want to see and stare at your face during sex because they want to see you moan and react to the things they’re doing to you. it boosts their ego & turns them on knowing that they’re the cause of the pleasure that you're feeling.
🌷mercury in the 8th house, pluto in 3rd house, and gemini mars: might c*m quick via masturbation, but they're also talented with their hands in general when it comes to sex. so handjobs and the like may be their area of expertise. their words are powerful and can be used effortlessly in order to arouse you. they’re the type to guide their partners, whispering sexy things in their ears, giving them instructions and talking them through to an orgasm (for themselves and their partner).
🌷 mars-saturn aspects: it might take some time for them to c*m but they usually have a high libido and can easily go several rounds. however, they could also go without sex for years and years, so being celibate probably isn’t difficult for them. 
🌷mars-venus aspects: may enjoy some degree of pain during sex so they may be a bit of a sadist or masochist. for example, whipping or performing actions that leave a visual representation of pain like bruises or red hand prints from spanking. if it’s not to that extent then a little bit of biting could really turn them on. this can apply to aries/scorpio placements too.
🌷 aquarius: some of them probably like to kiss their friends on the lips - not even in a sexual way but just because. they could have an array of sex toys and may prefer a solo session because they feel like they know their body and can please themselves best. even if they’re having sex, they might want to include the use of a toy. probably have some interesting or uncommon kinks. could prefer friends with benefits and it may work out for them since they’re good at not getting attached. they can also invent new ways to keep things exciting in the bedroom. the type to surprise their partner and make them c*m unexpectedly because they did something to catch them off guard.
🌷 scorpio & pisces: i feel like these two would have such a profound sexual experience together and i think their similarities would play a big role in that. they’re both water signs making them both emotional and those emotions would definitely come out to play during the act. and sex could even be a means of catharsis for them. 
pisces relates to all things spiritual and scorpio is familiar with the occult side of spirituality, but this isn’t outside of the realm of pisces either because as the ruler of the 12th house, they’re no stranger to the deep & dark mysteries of life. 
and i definitely believe that sex has a spiritual aspect to it. they might try Tantric sex or Kama Sutra positions, or they just have some form of a spiritual experience. maybe sex between the two of them feels like an out of body experience. or they experience la petite mort, the little death in english, which is an expression that describes an orgasm that feels like death - but a pleasant death. in addition to this, pisces and scorpio both have this desire to merge their souls with the person they love and sex is definitely one of the ways of doing so. 
all in all, the both of them together could have some of the most spiritual and emotional sex & since scorpio and pisces are both prone to addictions, sex between these two could be very addicting.
🌷 if you have libra 8th house synastry with your partner, you may have the thought or desire to partake in anilingus with each other. this could be something that you are totally against and cannot imagine doing, but with that person it could be something you are willing to consider. this could catch you by surprise and make you think, “omg who am i?” lol. 
🌷 i’ve noticed that a lot of celebrities that have genital piercings (whether it be something they’ve willingly revealed themselves or something that was revealed due to a wardrobe malfunction) have a combination of sag or scorpio in uranus, neptune, and/or as their moon sign. and to my surprise, they also have their mars in an earth sign. so, some you who have or want genital piercings may also have these placements. if these placements fall in your or 8th or 12th house, that would also make sense since those houses have to do with things that are hidden.
🌷 eros in the 10th house: i’d say this placement definitely desires a dom/sub dynamic. if they like playing the dominant role then they could like being called master, sir, or daddy. if they’d rather play the submissive role because they desire a dominant partner then they may like being called babygirl, my girl, or princess. they like having their partner telling them what to do & how to do it. in return, it pleases them to please their dom. they might also like sitting on their partners lap because it feels like their personal throne but it also makes them feel protected which this placement finds attractive. they like that protective energy in a partner since it gives them a sense of safety and comfort. if eros is aspecting neptune then they might fantasize about messing around with their boss or supervisor, even more exciting if it actually ends up happening at their place of work. oh, and they may like reading episode or wattpad stories with this kind of plot.
if you read this until the end, go rinse your eyes lol but i hope you enjoyed this post & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.
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julietsbody · 6 months
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romeo meets juliet — luke castellan x reader : chess can be played in many different situations. 
tags : 18+!! loser!luke (hes actually such a loser im sorry), college setting, brothers best friend!luke, mutual pining, religious imagery(?), classic literature references, body worship, smut, luke is pathetically in love 
a/n : save me nerdy boy with sad eyes save me
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luke didn’t acknowledge your existence at first, he stuck to himself, from his classes, to his dorm, maybe even the lunchroom if his roomate, your brother, convinced him to come rather than just making all of his meals in the dorm. luke and your brother were complete opposites, luke was studying literature, mostly classic,  he didn’t speak to many people unless forced to— and your brother was studying engineering, which also basically required him to join a frat, and he spoke to nearly everyone with cockiness prominent in his tone. 
one thing they did have in common, though, was chess. 
now, your brother could never tell anyone, especially not his frat brothers, that he played chess, let alone was in the university’s chess club— but he felt pity for luke, most of the time luke played by himself, which was somehow equally as frustrating as having to play against someone else. 
the only people that knew about your brother playing chess was luke, the chess club, and you. 
luke remembers the first time you came trotting in to the dorm, complaining to your brother about some argument you had with your parents about how your friends are distracting you from your studies. your brother only rolls his eyes, barely listening to your non - stop whining about how it’s ridiculous, “i mean— you’re the one in a frat! why aren’t they mad at you?” 
“because i actually do my work,” he mumbles, and luke breathes out in a silent laugh, moving a piece on his chess board. 
“you’re in engineering, you don’t even have any actual work,” you frown, and albeit the fact that you’re wrong, you’re still confident in what you said. 
“are you stu— whatever,” your brother waves you off, deciding to change the subject when he motions to luke, the boy in a nirvana t-shirt, currently moving to a different side of the chess board as he plays against himself, “this is luke, my roommate, obviously.” 
luke immediately freezes, fingers curling around the chess piece he was adjusting to move— his eyes are wide, and they’re moving to look at you, only to immediately flicker to some other part of the room when they meet your expectant gaze. since he won’t speak first, you pick up the slack, “hey, luke.” 
your brother notices how luke looks like a scared, lost puppy even by the slightest implication of having to speak to a woman, let alone be perceived by one, so he moves to whisper in your ear, “he’s like, deathly afraid of women, i’ve never seen him speak to one, ever.” 
and you from that you don’t expect a response from luke, until he mumbles a short, “hi.” 
that’s when your head tilts, noticing the way his curls fall over his brows messily, like he doesn’t pay attention to styling it, or maybe it’s on purpose, maybe he pays too much attention to styling it. the way he wore something so simple, yet so telling about himself, the way he awkwardly places the chess piece back on the board on the spot he wanted to. he assumes the conversation is over, so he moves to the opposite side of the board to make a move against his own. 
“are you in the chess club?” you take a step closer, and he perks up, hand ghosting over the piece once more. 
luke doesn’t say anything, his lips twitch around words that don’t come out. your brother speaks in his place, “he’s the president, he’s a fucking grandmaster.”
luke just awkwardly laughs, moving his hand to scratch at the back of his neck, eyes moving from the board to you, then to your brother, “i’m not like— actually the president,” another awkward, short chuckle, “i just— like.. um.. play a lot, i guess.” 
“you are the president, dude,” your brother corrects, being insufferable as he always is. 
but luke puts up with it, then you ask another question, “what do you major in?” 
“literature,” luke responds for himself this time, finally able to move his hand to make a proper move on the chess board, before mumbling, “mostly classic.” 
“you’re kidding, i am too, how have i not seen you before?” 
luke’s eyes finally meet yours, now, pausing on your eyes, then resuming down the shape of your face, memorizing each feature, the curve of your lashes, the shape of your lips— he swallows thickly. 
“i just— sit in the back.. and go to my dorm— as soon as class ends,” there’s that awkward, short chuckle again. 
“have you finished the paper?” 
luke nods, and that’s when your brother finally gets a bright idea. 
“you should help her, luke, with the work.” 
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
that’s how it all started, with a simple suggestion, that’s when you came to the dorm more often, when he began to notice that you were actually in his classes, and when you realized he had an awful staring problem. he thought he was slick with it too, letting his eyes move around the room for a mere.. twenty seconds before they finally snap to you, and from there, they stay, until you finally return the gaze and he’s immediately nervously looking away. 
he hardly speaks to you, unless your brother urges him to, and he’s always avoiding looking at you when he speaks, stumbling over words, pausing in sentences to catch his losing breath. he was a complete and utter loser, terrible when it came to socializing, even worse when it’s with girls. with you, it somehow seemed to worsen. 
“am i the first girl you’ve ever talked to?” you ask once, far too blunt for your own liking, you didn’t mean to really say it, it kind of just came out when seeing how much his leg bounced under the table with nervousness, nearly sweating himself to death under your gaze. 
sweat beads down his temple when his eyes flutter up to meet yours, moving from the romeo and juliet book in his hands. isn’t it so ironic that he had just gotten done reading the scene in which romeo says, “did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight! for i ne'er saw true beauty till this night,” when seeing juliet for the first time? truly, it isn’t the first time he saw you, but it’s night, and you are beautiful. truly, utterly, “beautiful.” 
“what?” 
oh, oh my god. saliva bubbles in his mouth, sour saliva, and he gulps it down, hoping it would somehow be a form of poison that would wake him from this nightmare. does he say what he meant? that he was thinking out loud? that he thinks you’re beautiful? or should he deny it? deny. he bursts into awkward laughs, “what— what do you mean— i.. i didn’t even say anything.. ha, haha.” 
“why are you acting like that?” your brows furrow. 
“like what?” 
“like you’re hiding something.” 
his breathing only shakes anymore, “i’m not hiding anything.. that’s like— a wild accusation.” 
“it’s not an accusation, i’m just saying,” you frown at him. 
his adam’s apple bobs with another swallow, “okay but like—“ 
“why are you harassing him?” your brother sighs, tired how much you press luke. 
“i’m not— whatever, i was asking you— am i the first girl you’ve ever spoken to?” 
your brother barks out a laugh, and luke’s eyes fall back down to the book in his hands. did not having proper conversations with women make him any less? romeo grabbed juliet’s hand once, and the first words he uttered to her was a promise to redeem himself if his hand was too unworthy to be touching her holy one. parallels sear in his mind, and he just mumbles a, “not really.” 
he has spoken to women before, sure, small greetings, maybe even the slightest indulgence of conversation— but luke keeps to himself, and to be honest, he was a man used to running from women, as he did from his mother. he grew up being afraid of women, well, afraid isn’t the proper word, intimidated is better, and he just decided to avoid them as much as possible. 
though, no matter how much he tries to avoid you, you’re always there, in his sight, in his mind. maybe it’s a disgrace, like romeo holding juliet’s hand, for him to even be thinking of you, looking at you— you were a goddess that offered a man on his knees the slightest bit of your grace, and now he was hooked. 
it was pathetic, really, how he anticipated every time he suspected you would be over, how his eyes always found their way to you in class, how he made sure to purposefully walk past you in the lunchroom on the days he went, which was oddly more now. 
a man who is still a virgin to adore a girl far too good for him, he is hopeless. 
“it’s okay if i am,” you adjust, okay, there might be a little hope, “anyway, how do you like romeo and juliet?” 
“it’s pretty nice—“ he notices the way your face perks up in shock, “kind of, i don’t know.” 
“i think it’s a bore, i’m sure the movie is much better.” 
“we should watch the movie— um.. together, sometime.” 
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
if luke was being completely honest with himself, he didn’t entirely mean to say it, and as soon as you left the dorm, he nearly doubled over with shock at his own words, and even more shock at the fact that you agreed. not only did you agree, you actually came, and it was just you and him. your brother was off at some frat party, again, and he had left luke completely alone with you, even when luke begged him not to. 
“you’re kidding, dude, i’m like— horrified of her,” luke frowns at your brother. 
“you need exposure therapy, or some shit, call me your therapist.” 
“you’re a shit therapist,” luke sighs, rubbing his temples. 
“and you need to grow some balls.” 
so, your brother left him, and now luke’s awkwardly standing with you at his door - step, staring at him expectantly, his lips twitch around so many possible words, possible sentences, and all that comes out is, “hey.” 
he’s been staring for you for at least a minute, and all he can say is hey. your lips curve to an amused smile, “hi, luke.” 
“um— you can come in, if you.. want, ‘course.” he moves out the way to let you in, watching you step past him so he can close the door. 
“i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t want to,” you remark as if it’s the obvious, mostly because it is. 
when romeo stood underneath juliet’s balcony, he praised how captivating she was, considers her as glorious as an angel, a winged messenger above his head. in his own words : 
“one who makes mortals fall onto their backs to gaze up in awe as the angel strides across the clouds and sails through the air.”
consider luke on his back now, staring up at the stars in your eyes, the halo that shines above your head, the wings that flap with every stride you make— a goddess, an angel, venus incarnate, right before his eyes, staring at him like he had something deeply wrong with him. wait. he blinks a few times, and his eyes refocus onto your confused face. 
“are you okay, luke?” 
he quickly clears his throat, “yeah, yeah— duh, ‘course i am, uh.. we should,” he moves to the table in which his laptop was on, “watch the movie, yeah? ‘ts on my.. laptop, if you don’t mind.” 
“i don’t, at all,” you move to sit next to him on the couch in front of the table, watching the veins in his hands pulse, palms sweaty when he moves to open his laptop, shifting a few tabs and pressing a few keys until he mumbles a small okay and presses the space button. 
moaning. that’s all you hear, the sound of skin slapping, ah ah— oh fuck mmph you’re so b— luke slams the laptop shut. 
dear god, save him now. 
he can’t even bring himself to look at you, the sweat on his palms only worsens and spreads onto the top of the laptop as he smoothes his hands across it, replaying the scene a million times in his mind. to his surprise, you giggle, “you watch porn?” 
he’s quick to awkwardly scoff out a short laugh, “yeah— i mean, everyone does.. but like.. i don’t watch it— that much.” 
your finger moves to run along the vein on his arm, feeling him shudder under your touch, yet he doesn’t want you to stop, even the slightest touch makes his dick twitch in his pants, “are you a virgin, luke?” 
he inhales sharply, “y-yeah..” 
“do you want to have sex?” you lean the tiniest bit closer. 
he pauses, “yes.. of course—“ 
“with me?” 
“yes.” he responds quick, too fucking quick, it must’ve been at most a second after you said it for him to respond. the truth stings his tongue, to finally be able to say it out loud, how much he had fantasized about you in the late of night, even sneaking off to the bathrooms so his hand can dip underneath his waistband when he thinks about the times you’ve worn a tight shirt that frames your tits far too well. 
but it was wrong, wasn’t it? you were a goddess, on a pedestal, and he was merely just a man, staring up at your statue in the hopes that you would notice him one day. forbidden, possibly, but all those thoughts leave his mind when his eyes move from the finger tracing up his bicep to your neck, then your lips, then your eyes. 
“please tell me you’ve kissed before.” 
“yeah.. yeah— i have,” a playground kiss counts, right?
it seems to when your lips fall against his own, the kiss was so gentle, until he dared to kiss you back, then it got hungry, mostly on his end. he kissed you like a starving man, nearly devouring you but at the same time, being horrified to. your tongue finds it’s way into his mouth, and to your surprise, he whimpers against your lips.
his hands are hesitant, unsure of where to go, does he touch your arm? your shoulder? your waist? he doesn’t want to push anything, so the waist seems far too much, his hands awkwardly place themselves on your arm, in a very weird position. 
“have you touched a girl before?” 
his lips are flushed from the kiss, eyes glazing over the position of his hands, and he quickly moves them off, “sorry— well, i just.. um.. didn’t want to push anything.” 
“you can,” you reassure, but his hands still hesitate, the flesh of a goddess, to be touched by someone so inexperienced. was he really worth it? any of it? to even be in your presence was a blessing, and it was still taking him forever to register the fact that you had actually kissed him, prayers passed through your lips into his. 
“are you sure?” 
“‘course i am.” 
it still took luke some getting used to, having you straddle his lap, you knew so much, it felt like more than just an honor to have you so close to him. his eyes flicked from your own to your lips, then to your tits, the low v - cut showing off your cleavage perfectly. and he looked like a complete deer in headlights, staring at the flesh pushed together between the window of clothing. you smile at his lack of self control, feeling the way his dick throbs underneath his pants, right against your ass, “you can touch them.” 
“wha— nono, ‘ts okay— i just..” he trails off, sweaty palms moving past you to slide across his knees. 
“really, luke, you can— why don’t i just..” you move to take off your shirt, his eyes immediately catching on to the lace of your bra, the way your tits are practically spilling out of it, all until you take off your bra as well and they immediately fall out. 
his hand twitches around nothing, desperately wondering what it must feel like to have your flesh underneath his palm, fingers curling around the plush of it. it seems you must’ve heard his prayers when you move to take his hands, pulling them back to press against your tits. 
soft, that’s his first thought, sweat sticks to your skin when his fingers curve around the flesh, gripping it ever so gently. praises spill from his lips almost immediately, thoughts he had since the day he saw you, finally being spoken, “y’re beautiful— fuck, i’ve always.. always wanted to— do this..” 
you smile so sweet at him, nectar nearly drips off your teeth, “can i ride you, luke?” 
his eyes finally meet yours, brows furrowing for a mere second, “huh— oh, oh.. yeah, ‘course you can.” 
you didn’t expect him to have a big, no matter how cruel that sounds, you had heard rumors of nerds with big dicks, but sought to never believe it until you saw it, and good fucking lord you saw it. as soon as his dick springs out from the pants and boxers you were tugging down, luke’s hands mindlessly moved to your waist, your eyes widen. 
no fucking way. he has to be.. six? seven inches, at least. slightly girthy too, he wasn’t all just length, and precum was beading from his red tip. he immediately inhales sharply when your fingers graze his dick, nervous under your gaze, “is it too small— i.. i’m sorry—“ 
“too small?” you scoff playfully at his scared expression, worried of what you think, “this might be the biggest dick i’ve ever seen, luke.” 
“that’s— a good thing.. right?” 
“obviously, god, it better fit,” this is the first time you’ve ever been concerned about whether or not a dick will fit, luke stiffens when you spit on your palm, pressing it to his dick and wettening it as you jerk him off, his response is immediate, carefully gripping at your skin and pressing his lips together to muffle his whimpers. 
luke had jerked of many, many times, but it never felt as good as this. 
“fuck—“ he grunts out, already far too close from just a simple hand movements. 
you immediately stop, picking up on his nearing orgasm from the way his hips kept bucking up into your hands, pathetic whines slipping past his lips, but it was just so cute. the cutest thing, though, was his face when he got the first look at your vagina, he looked like a man staring at a piece of art he had admired. and this was art, sex was, you were, everything about you, it felt so sacred. 
his lashes flutter when you take his hand, guiding it to your sopping cunt, allowing him to feel the wetness that was nearly pouring from you. like nectar from a fountain, it coated his fingertips when he touched you, his eyes focused onto your face, making sure that he was doing it right. he notices the way you gasp when his fingertips brush against your clit, so he presses against it again, and again. 
he follows everything he has seen in pornos, spreading your folds, fingers grazing past your entrance, rubbing your clit— but he’s lost when you wave him off before he can finger you to prep you for his dick, wasn’t that something people did? “but don’t you…” 
“it’ll fit,” you mumble back, relying on how wet you are to make it easier. 
he watches the way your jaw falls when you move to press his tip against your entrance, allowing the tip to push into you and it’s already too big. his eyes widen at the feeling of your walls clenching around his tip, unable to hold back the noises that slip from his own lips. 
“you’re like— the.. the girl of my dr— fuck— dreams,” luke hushed out between his mess of moans and grunts, he wondered if romeo ever felt this way when he kissed juliet for the first time, the sort of electric rush that riddled his bones, it felt unreal. you were a dream incarnate, one luke was always haunted with, the woman that would show up when his eyes would close at night, and now you were on his lap, sinking down on his dick. 
“am i? really?” you question, inhaling sharply when you finally reach the base of his cock. for some odd reason, you didn’t believe you were all he was putting you up to be, and that made him sick— how could you think of yourself as any less? you were perfect, a vision, to be fair, luke would adore you even if you were an enemy, just like romeo and juliet. 
he would stand at your balcony, stare at you from across the ballroom, kiss your knuckles, kiss you— he would do it all. he might even drink poison just to spend eternity with you. 
“yes, yes— are you.. kidding? mmph.. fuck— you’re like.. a fuckin’ goddess,” it comes out like a prayer, as if he was on his knees at your altar, kissing your legs, and whispering worshipping words. 
to nobody’s surprise, luke doesn’t last long at all when you’re bouncing on his cock, no matter how much he tried to distract himself from his throbbing cock by pawing at your tits, or moving to kiss you, his orgasm was just too close. “‘m g’na.. please.. g’na cum.. mmphh.. fuck!” 
when he does cum, you had pulled off him, jerking him off, and he’s practically writhing, a whimpering and damn near crying mess. and once he’s helped you to your orgasm as well, you’re falling into his arms, finding a safe - haven in how he smells like old books, mint, and cheap cologne. 
two star crossed lovers, one capulet, one montague. 
“these violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder. which, as they kiss, consume.” — romeo and juliet, act two, scene six.
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missyandthemisfits · 7 months
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Tokyo Revengers-Do They Believe In Sex Before Marriage?
18+ WARNING, NSFW
Mikey – Pfft, do you even have to ask? He’s got NO qualms about sneaking (it’s not sneaky at all) you off from the group in-between meetings and giving you the most satisfying of quickies, needy and demanding as he pushes you up against the alleyway wall. Quite the exhibitionist this one. No, the real challenge will be convincing Mikey that marriage is something worth having  ‘cause let’s face it, he ain’t buying what they’re selling. 
Draken – Honestly, he would much MUCH rather be wed before he’s plowing his impressive length down into your slick, but alas, he’s a man with needs and desires. That said, if you really wanna wait until marriage, he’s not forcing you to do anything you don’t want. He will, however, ask for other things, to give and to receive them. 
Mitsuya – Oh, he’s a man on a mission to be married with children, I can assure you of that. He probably wants to be married before making his dream of having you a moaning mess of a person beneath him come true. Buuut, he’s all for fooling around beforehand if you are. And if you wanna wait, he’s waiting, no questions asked. #Gentlemengonnagentleman
Hakkai – Baby boy really really wants to wait until marriage, he’s hella embarrassed about even thinking about you in those compromising positions, spread so deliciously for him and only him. But also, he’s incredibly weak willed when it comes to you and your wishes so despite weak protests, he’s not stopping anything. As a religious man though, he will feel guilty about it.  
Baji – He absolutely intends to sleep with you before he pops the question – gotta take the car out for a test drive before you purchase it, right? (Words uttered only to Chifuyu who is sworn nay threatened to secrecy). He fantasizes about being balls deep in you like clockwork and when he finally gets that chance? He’s not giving it up for anything. Feel free to try and stop him. 
Chifuyu – He’s torn, he really is. Has he fantasized about you exposed to him in a mating press? God yes. But does he also think there’s something incredibly and undeniably romantic about waiting until your wedding night? Also a strong yes. Decides he can’t make that type of decision, so whatever you want is what you’ll get, 100%. 
Takemichi – HaHA – let him tell it and ‘I-It’s only natural for a hotblooded young man to want those types of things! Right…?’ Grade A dork. But truth be told, he wants to wait as long as he possibly can (he’s afraid he’ll mess it all up) , he’s really aiming until the marriage thing but knows things just happen, like that one time you were clawing at his jeans on your knees- still fantasizes about that, the horn dog.
Atsushi – He wants to wait. His mother raised him on strong values and he’s not keen on disrespecting you or himself by taking things farther than he, or you, think they should go. Now, will he lap at your most sensitive bits like a dog in heat? Yea, but I mean, that’s not really going all the way, ya know? Gotta love loopholes. 
Nahoya – Maaaan oh man is this boy pervy. Within the first month, he’s got his hands on your ass with that devilish smirk, making all sorts of dirty jokes and disgusting remarks. Wants it and wants it bad. Tries his best to be respectful but has a very hard time stopping at just your sexy mouth, even if he just came. Stop him from going further and he will be frustrated, frowning for once. Doesn’t even know if he fully believes in marriage, he just wants to be inside you as long as you’ll tolerate him – or for as long he can tolerate you. 
Souya – The total and complete opposite of his twin – where Nahoya can be incredibly pushy and demanding, Souya is all light touchs and sweet nothings, asking permission for everything, from hand holding to kissing. In an ideal world, he’s waiting until you’re both married (which he plans on being) to make you his completely. Incredibly honored (and nervous) that you even asked him to pleasure you with his tongue, and what a surprisingly skilled tongue it is. Doesn’t expect more, doesn’t even expect reciprocation, perfectly happy just pleasing you - so when you do palm at his hardened and constrained member, lowering yourself to your knees well… who is he to deny you? Not like he could say ‘No’ if he tried. 
Kazutora – Poor dear is traumatized – doesn’t honestly know whether or not he believes in marriage and it shows in the way he stops everything at the question. He can’t promise you he’ll ever come to a real conclusion, but what he can promise you is that he will be by your side for as long as you’ll have him, a lifelong partner. His kiss goes from sweet to hungry in a matter of seconds though, and he’s on top of you before you know it, eyes begging for you to help him to his release. 
Hanma – Never even considers the idea of marriage before you, too preoccupied with curing his boredom to really care either way. However, he finds himself considering the notion, genuinely excited about it and suddenly, he can’t wait. He’s not looking for anyone else once he’s locked in, sincerely – but getting him to stop his long fingers from slowly moving in and out of you was something you always struggled with. Fuck, would you be able to keep your own promise at this point? 
 Taiju – You might be surprised but as someone who devotes himself to his religion, he thinks it’s only right to wait until marriage, almost impatiently waiting, praying, for the day you take his damn near monstrous length like the good slut you are. Until then, he’s more than happy to prep you with his admittedly very large fingers. Good luck! 
Kokonoi – More concerned with whether or not you’re able to have an intellectual conversation with him really, pretty low libido. More than likely, he’ll wait until marriage, it’s not a bother or inconvenience to him in the slightest. More than happy to have your back against his chest, lazily playing with your naughty bits while enjoying a good movie, chin resting on your shoulder. May ask for reciprocation every now and then, but he’s a whiner so that’s fun. 
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astrobydalia · 9 months
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🪐 Astro Observations!!!✨
Happy 2024 babes! Here’s to another year sharing astrology stuff with all of you 🤩
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Yes water moons have great intuition and could be psychic but I very often notice they tend to allow their personal feelings interfere with their decisions and could tend to not follow their intuition as much. The ones that have a more reliable or unbiased intuition imo are Earth moons and Aquarius moon.
Scorpio Venus really do gravitate to unhealthy relationships… All their connections tend to have unfair or imbalanced dynamics to them where there’s no equal give and take. They believe love means throwing yourself and your life away for another person (or they expect someone to give everything away for them) with little to nothing in return. They may not understand the difference between deep intimacy and unhealthy attachment
Libra placements and their ability to appear likable even when they have the shittiest personality deep down
In my opinion Moon is the most important planet if you really wanna begin to know someone at their core. Ultimately no planet can give you full info without the context of the whole chart tho (#AllPlanetsMatter), but you can really uncarcarve sm about someone just by moon placement/aspects/degree, etc. Moon rules your needs and so it really cements your personality and its an energy that you'll project in so many areas of your life (relationships, career, etc)
Fixed Mars are ARGUMENTATIVE fr fr. They need to have the last word and will die on that hill if they have to💀Honorable mention: Virgo/Gemini Mars due to Mercury influence but they’re more about friendly banter and aren’t as stubborn
80% of Aries Moons I've met were very philosophical/spiritual/religious. They can develop a self-awareness that gives them a lot of wisdom. The other 20% were just adult toddlers and very egotistic...
Capricorn placements and their internalized elitism. They really do believe some people are better than others which is the shadow of Capricorn unfortunately
Aquarius Moons are some of the most traumatized people I know fr fr. Whenever I get to know their life and backstory Im always like bro….😶😶 It makes me so sad cause they always bring such good vibes everywhere (they have a playful aura) when in reality there’s a depth of pain underneath you wouldn’t even fathom through that unbothered persona. The OG misunderstood.
We all know Scorpio is all about depth, intensity and looking beyond the surface but I’ve very often observed the exact opposite in scorpio placements. They could tend to be very superficial, greedy and materialistic, more obsessed with wealth and status than any earth placement (it all comes down to power). In such cases their interest in occult or deep topics could also be superficial or opportunistic, like they only see it as something that could give them a leg up in life or help them avoid unseen threats but that's about it.
Cancer Risings do not come across as sensitive at all. They tend to have a rather sassy personality and are pretty defensive 90% of the time tbh. Think about it, are crabs 🦀 cute and cuddly? No, you actually actually have to be very careful around one cause they sting lol. They do wear their heart on their sleeves and are very sensitive and perceptive but because of this they constantly feel like their vulnerability is out for everyone to see hence the guarded attitude.
^I've also noticed they are VERY opinionated and will hold on very tightly to how they think/feel about something. This results in having a reputation for being kinda bold and sharp (Aries 10th). Pro tip: do NOT question these native's morals or integrity unless you wanna see a very snappy side to them, they respond very very very badly if you even insinuate that they might be hypocritical in their values/what matters to them
The interpretation that Aquarius in the 4th house means you’re an outcasted black sheep in the family low-key doesn’t make sense to me tbh. Aquarius is the sign of camaraderie, friendship, inclusivity and community. All the people that I’ve seen with this placement were actually very bonded to their roots and considered their family (and the people they bonded with during childhood) to be "their people" (they also keep their friends close to heart). These natives do tend to distinct themselves as they grow up but this is due to Leo 10th house. I've noticed their family is in general very supportive of them or at the very least they received some input in their upbringing that made them feel special and/or like their uniqueness was celebrated. Feel free to share your opinion/experience tho
I've noticed Virgo Mars people have a perfect balance between being confident in themselves and fulling trusting their abilities while also staying humble and acknowledge room for improvement. Very mature and self-accountable and they're also great people to work with cause they are highly appreciative of good contribution
Sagittarius placements and their ability to be casually rude in a charming way??? 😭
Moon in the 10th house do not have a reputation for being emotional at all, it's quite the opposite they dislike exposing their feelings like that. A lot of their energy is spent trying to appear put-together and emotionally stable. The ones I've noticed have a reputation for being moody or sensitive are Mars in the 10th house
Venus-Moon aspects probably grew up in an environment that fed up this idea they had to be beautiful and conventionally likable in order to be worthy of love. These natives tend to base their self-worth on the amount of emotional validation they get from others and struggle telling the difference between kindness and love
A couple notes on everyone’s fave topic: 8th house synastry
We all know this overlay deals with power dynamics. On a general basis I’ve noticed it’s the planet person who tends to have the upper hand. Exeption: Moon. When your moon falls in someone’s 8th house you tend to be vulnerable one due to the soft nature of this planet, but the house person secretly feels more intimidated
You will NAWT be able to keep secrets from someone you have 8th house synastry with specially if you’re the house person. Sooner or later they’ll see through you, circumstances might force you to expose yourself or you’ll simply feel drawn to revealing the truth to them. With water synastry in general you will feel drawn to share more deep or hidden parts of yourself/your life but with the 8th house you can’t help it, like there’s almost an accusatory tension between the two that grows the more you try to hide something from them
Something I see no one mentioning about 8th house synastry is the planet person always feels intimidated by the house person's success. The planet person will try to take part in the house person's success by taking some credit and have a sense of control over what belongs to the house person, it's giving Kanye's "I made that bitch famous". At best the planet person would want to help boost the house person's endeavors. Either way, when someone's planets land on your 8th house, you will never feel like something is completely yours anymore, somehow the planet person will "take" something away from you that you can't get back making you feel like you owe them or they owe you something big (8th house=debt), which is why this overlay very often goes south and tends to be very depleting.
If we're talking business (which 8th house deals with that) the house person is likely to take a risk on the planet person, invest on them (can be money, time, resources, trust, etc) in hopes that it'll pay off. The house person is most likely to loose something from their involvement with the planet person, but they can also gain a lot from the planet person if the investment pays off. In either case, one could tend to exploit the other if there’s any ill intent from the individual
Water mars people are very smothering in their affection tbh. Once you’ve been chosen, get ready to be bombarded by their attention a bit more each time. Secret stalker vibes.This doesn’t always mean they love you tho, if underdeveloped they may want to “bond” in order to have emotional control over you and use you. For them it’s easy to get what they want through manipulation so leading people on or fooling around is something they tend to do a lot
Going back to the affection topic, water venus are smothering too but they go about their obsession devotion in a much more soft and non-domineering way where they give a lot of power away to their partner
People with Gemini+Scorpio placements in their chart embody the mischievous trickster archetype fr fr. They’re funny but also a menace. Have an ease to become that type of deceitful manipulator who thrives in chaos
I have a theory that your Moon represents the kind of bond or relationship you have with your mother but Ceres represents how your mother actually is
Capricorn and Scorpio placements are huge tsunderes imo 😭
Chiron in Sagittarius/9th house have become disappointed with religious and/or academic institutions. For them both systems are essentially flawed and don't work or don't make sense
+When it comes to religion I've seen a lot of them being atheist and skeptics. Some others still believed in god/universe/etc. but they did not want to support any stablished religious institution and instead have preferred to craft their own belief system. In both cases, they saw the institutionalization of believe systems as something that hindered their freedom of thought and expansion
+When it comes to academics a very similar thing happens. They felt like collage and the educational system restricted their mind instead of expanding it so they just preferred to walk their own path and find growth elsewhere. A friend of mine with this placement quit collage and the other people I've seen who did finish it all said they had a kinda dreadful and/or unfulfilling collage experience which they low-key regret
If you’ve ever felt powerless in the house where you have your pluto, that’s because you gave your power away to the opposite house. For example, if you have Pluto in the 5th house and you felt powerless when it comes to expression, your creativity, etc that’s because you gave too much power to the public opinion/peer pressure (11th house) and what they may say about you if you express yourself genuinely
Scorpio Moons always battle with that "am I a good person?", "am I a monster deep down?" inner conflict. They are more in touch with darker emotions and experiences than the average person so for them it's particularly easy to channel their shadow. This can often make them doubt their own integrity or think they are doomed to never feel happiness and inner peace. This is moon's debilitation for a reason, their inner emotional world is ruled by chaos and turmoil and they tend to be a bit too comfortable (moon) in toxicity and drama, nothing is ever light-hearted for them. If developed this ability of staying in touch with the shadow side of things can actually give them lots of awareness and resilience for the darker sides of the world as well as a very solid moral compass and compassion
Leo Moons likely had grandiose standards forced on them that inflated their self-importance. It's giving "mommy told me I am the best and most special of all" which is great but now they be carrying that mindset for the rest of their lives and this is where lot of their infamous sensitivity and fragile ego comes from cause not fulfilling these standards deeply hurts their heart. In consequence they tend to be more unprepared to accept humbling experiences that'll make them mature
virgo risings are funny!!!! I haven't seen anyone mention this, but every virgo rising I've met cracked me UP, they are so witty and never misse a chance to throw in a cheeky joke every 2 minutes. I think this is overlooked because they keep a rather awkward demeanor to them which often makes for a rather dry delivery. Best examples of this are Ryan Raynolds, Keanue Reeves, Emma Watson, Cole Sprouse...
Also, all Virgo risings I've met tend to come across as huge snobs so it's very common that people don't take their humor or friendliness seriously
Honestly I've noticed this theme with Virgo/6th house inner placements in general where their judgemental nature always makes them unfriendly or snarky to some degree. They can be the kind of people who are never happy with anything and always have a bone to pick.
My main theory as to why Leo risings are the most shy out of all Leo placements is because a lot of them grew up in very problematic and dysfunctional families (Scorpio 4th house) where they were shamed for showing vulnerability or being genuine (Cancer 12th house)
I’ve noticed Aries Suns and Capricorn Suns tend to relate a lot to their fathers, they tend to have very similar character traits as their fathers. For good or for bad their relationship with their father is always very important in their personality.
I find that LEO Suns and Sagittarius Suns always be having daddy issues tho like 😭😭😭😭
One thing about Capricorn is they can be literal billionaires and yet will still refuse to spend a dime on something they think is not worth it
Mutable Moons don’t commit 10000% to things, they’re the type to always have a foot out just in case. They're most likely to commit to things if they don't feel forced or expected to stay permanently
Cardinal energy is very consistent and responsable. People with prominent cardinal placements have a really developed sense of agency, focus and direction (imo this will be more obvious with moon, mars and asc). There's something about them that always gives me this put together "I've got this" kinda vibe, they always seem like they've got it together and always know what to do even when they're lost.
Fixed mercuries and their inability to understand or accept that two different points can be true
Sun/Leo in the 3rd house could want to have a nice car, an expensive or luxurious car from a well-known brand
I’ve seen people saying Venus-Mars conjunction gives it girl vibes. This is also HIGHLY true for Mars-ruled Venus (Aries/Scorpio Venus) or Venus-ruled Mars (Libra/Taurus Mars)
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jessicalprice · 2 years
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culture isn’t modular
I did a thread (actually several) on Twitter a few years ago about Christianity’s attempts to paint itself as modular, and I’ve been seeing them referenced here in the cultural christianity Discourse, and a few people have DMed me asking me to post it here, so here’s a rehash of several of those threads:
A big part of why Christian atheists have trouble seeing how culturally Christian they still are is that Christianity advertises itself as being modular, which is not how belief systems have worked for most of human history. 
A selling point of Christianity has always been the idea that it's plug-and-play: you don't have to stop being Irish or Korean or Nigerian to be Christian, you don't have to learn a new language, you keep your culture. 
And you’re just also Christian.
(You can see, then, why so many Christian atheists struggle with the idea that they’re still Christian--to them, Christianity is this modular belief in God and Jesus and a few other tenets, and everything else is... everything else. Which is, not to get ahead of myself, very compatible with some tacit white supremacy: the “everything else” is goes unexamined for its cultural specificity. It’s just Normal. Default. Neutral.)
Evangelicals in particular love to contrast this to Islam, to the idea that you have to learn Arabic and adopt elements of Arab culture to be Muslim, which helps fuel the image of Islam as a Foreign Ideology that's taking over the West.
The rest of us don’t have that particular jack
Meanwhile, Christians position Christianity as a modular component of your life. Keep your culture, your traditions, your language and just swap out your Other Religion Module for a Christianity Module.
The end game is, in theory, a rainbow of diverse people and cultures that are all one big happy family in Christ. We're going to come back to how Christianity isn't actually modular, but for the moment, let's talk about it as if it had succeeded in that design goal. 
Even if Christianity were successfully modular, if it were something that you could just plug in to the Belief System Receptor in a culture and leave the rest of it undisturbed, the problem is most cultures don't have a modular Belief System Receptor. Spirituality has, for the entirety of human history, not been something that's modular. It's deeply interwoven with the rest of culture and society. You can't just pull it out and plug something else in and have the culture remain stable.
(And to be clear, even using the term “spirituality” here is a sop to Christianity. What cultures have are worldviews that deal with humanity’s place in the universe/reality; people’s relationships to other people; the idea of individual, societal, or human purpose; how the culture defines membership; etc. These may or may not deal with the supernatural or “spiritual.”)
And so OF COURSE attempting to pull out a culture's indigenous belief system and replace it with Christianity has almost always had destructive effects on that culture.
Not only is Christianity not representative of "religion" full stop, it's actually arguably *anomalous* in its attempt to be modular (and thus universal to all cultures) rather than inextricable from culture.
Now, of course, it hasn't actually succeeded in that--the US is a thoroughly Christian culture--but it does lead to the idea that one can somehow parse out which pieces of culture are "religious" versus which are "secular". That framing is antithetical to most cultures. E.g. you can't separate the development of a lot of cultural practices around what people eat and how they get it from elements of their worldview that Christians would probably label "religious." But that entire *framing* of religious vs. secular is a Christian one.
Is Passover a religious holiday or a secular one? The answer isn't one or the other, or neither, or both. It's that the framing of this question is wrong.
And Christianity isn’t a plugin, however much it wants to be
Moreover, Christianity isn't actually culture-neutral or modular. 
It's easy for this to get obscured by seeing Christianity as a tool of particular cultures' colonialism (e.g. the British using Christianity to spread British culture) or of whiteness in general, and not seeing how Christianity itself is colonial. This helps protect the idea that “true” Christianity is good and innocent, and if priests or missionaries are converting people at swordpoint or claiming land for European powers or destroying indigenous cultures, that must be a misuse of Christianity, a “fake” or “corrupted” Christianity.
Never mind that for every other culture, that culture is what its members do. Christianity, uniquely, must be judged on what it says its ideals are, not what it actually is. 
Mistaking the engine for the exhaust
But it’s not just an otherwise innocent tool of colonialism: it’s a driver of it. 
At the end of the day, it’s really hard to construct a version of the Great Commission that isn’t inherently colonial. The end-goal of a world in which everyone is Christian is a world without non-Christian cultures. (As is the end goal of a world in which everyone is atheist by Christian definitions.)
Yet we focus on the way Christianity came with British or Spanish culture when they colonized a place--the churches are here because the Spaniards who conquered this area were Catholic--and miss how Christianity actually has its own cultural tropes that it brings with it. It's more subtle, of course, when Christianity didn't come in explicitly as the result of military conquest.
Or put another way, those cultures didn't just shape the Christianity they brought to places they colonized--they were shaped by it. How much of the commonality between European cultures is because of Christianity?
It’s not all a competition
A lot of Christians (cultural and practicing), if you push them, will eventually paint you a picture of a very Hobbesian world in which all religions, red in tooth and claw, are trying to take over the world. It's the "natural order" to attempt to eliminate all cultures but your own. 
If you point out to them that belief and worldview are deeply personal, and proselytizing is objectifying, because you're basically telling the person you're proselytizing to that who they are is wrong, you often get some version of "that's how everyone is, though."
Like we all go through life seeing other humans as incomplete and fundamentally flawed and the only way to "fix" them is to get them to believe what we believe. And, like, that is not how everyone relates to others?
But it's definitely how both practicing Christians and Christian antitheists relate to others. If, for Christians, your lack of Jesus is a fundamental flaw in you that needs to be fixed, for New Atheists, your “religion” (that is, your non-Christian culture) is a fundamental flaw in you that needs to be fixed. Neither Christians nor New Atheists are able to relate to anyone else as fine as they are. It's all a Hobbesian zero-sum game. It's all a game of conversion with only win and loss conditions. You are, essentially, only an NPC worth points.
The idea of being any other way is not only wrong, but impossible to them. If you claim to exist in any other way, you are either deluded or lying.
So, we get Christian atheists claiming that if you identify as Jewish, you can’t really be an atheist. Or sometimes they’ll make an exception for someone who’s “only ethnically Jewish.” If the only way you relate to your Jewishness is as ancestry, then you can be an atheist. Otherwise, you’re lying. 
Or, if you’re not lying, you’re deluded. You just don’t understand that there’s no need for you to keep any dietary practices or continue to engage in any form of ritual or celebrate any of those “religious” Jewish holidays, and by golly, this here “ex”-Christian atheist is here to separate out for you which parts of your culture are “religious” and which ones are “secular.”
Religious/secular is a Christian distinction
A lot of atheists from Christian backgrounds (whether or not they were raised explicitly Christian) have trouble seeing how Christian they are because they've accepted the Christian idea that “religion” is modular. (If we define “religion” the way Christians (whether practicing or cultural) define it, Christianity might be the only religion that actually exists. Maybe Islam?)
When people from non-Christian cultures talk about the hegemonically Christian and white supremacist nature of a lot of atheism, it reflects how outside of Christianity, spirituality/worldview isn't something you can just pull out of a culture.
Christian atheists tend to see the cultural practices of non-Christians as "religious" and think that they should give them up (talk to Jewish atheists who keep kosher about Christian atheist reactions to that). But because Christianity positions itself as modular, people from Christian backgrounds tend not to see how Christian the culture they imagine as "neutral" or "normal" actually is. In their minds, you just pull out the Christianity module and are left with a neutral, secular society.
So, if people from non-Christian backgrounds would just give up their superstitions, they'd look the same as Christian atheists. 
Your secularism is specifically post-Christian
Of course, that culture with the Christianity module pulled out ISN'T neutral. So the idea that that's what "secular society" should look like ends up following the same pattern as Christian colonialism throughout history: the promise that you can keep your culture and just plug in a different belief system (or, purportedly, a lack of a belief system), which has always, always been a lie. The secular, "enlightened" life that most Christian atheists envision is one that's still built on white, western Christianity, and the idea that people should conform to it is still attempting to homogenize society to a white Christian ideal. 
For people from cultures that don't see spirituality as modular, this is pretty obvious. It's obvious to a lot of people from non-white Christian cultures that have syncretized Christianity in a way that doesn't truck with the modularity illusion. 
I also think, even though they're not conceptualizing it in these terms, that it's actually obvious to a lot of evangelicals. (The difference being that white evangelical Christianity enthusiastically embraces white supremacy, so they see the destruction of non-Christian culture as good.) But I think it's invisible to a lot of mainline non-evangelical Christians, and it's definitely invisible to a lot of people who leave Christianity.
And that inability to see culture outside a Christian framing means that American secularism is still shaped like Christianity. It's basically the same text with a few sentences deleted and some terms replaced.
Which, again, is by design. The idea that you can deconvert to (Christian) atheism and not have to change much besides your opinions about God is the mirror of how easy it’s supposed to be to convert to Christianity.
Human societies don’t follow evolutionary biology
The Victorian Christian framing underlying current Western ideas of enlightened secularism, that religious practice (and human culture in general) is subject to the same sort of unilateral, simple evolution toward a superior state to which they, at the time, largely reduced biological evolution, is deeply white supremacist.
It posits religious evolution as a constantly self-refining process from "primitive" animism and polytheism to monotheism to white European/American Christianity. For Christians, that's the height of human culture. For ex-Christians, the next step is Christian-derived secularism.
Maybe you’ve seen this comic?
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The thing is, animism isn’t more “primitive” than polytheism, and polytheism isn’t more “primitive” than monotheism. Older doesn’t mean less advanced/sophisticated/complex. Hinduism isn’t more “primitive” than Judaism just because it’s polytheistic and Judaism is monotheistic. 
Human cultures continue to change and adapt. (Arguably, older religions are more sophisticated than newer ones because they’ve had a lot more time to refine their practices and ideologies instead of having to define them.) Also, not all cultures are part of the same family tree. Christianity and Islam may be derived from Judaism, but Judaism and Hinduism have no real relationship to one another. 
But in this worldview, Christianity is "normal" religion, which is still more primitive than enlightened secularism, but more advanced than all those other primitive, superstitious, irrational beliefs.
Just like Christians, when Christian atheists do try to make room for cultures that aren't white and European-derived, the tacit demand is "okay, but you have to separate out the parts of your culture that the Christian sacred-secular divide would deem 'religious.'"
Either way, people from non-Christian cultures, if they’re to be equals, are supposed to get with the program and assimilate.
You’re not qualified to be a universal arbiter of what culture is good
Christian atheists usually want everyone to unplug that Religion module!
So, for example, you have ex-Christian atheists who are down with pluralism trying to get ex-Christian atheists who aren't to leave Jews alone by pointing out that you can be atheist and Jewish.
But some of us aren’t atheist. (I’m agnostic by Christian standards.) And the idea that Jews shouldn’t be targets for harassment because they can be atheists and therefore possibly have some common sense is still demanding that people from other cultures conform to one culture’s standard of what being “rational” is.  
Which, like, is kind of galling when y’all don’t even understand what “belief in G-d” means to Jews, and people from a culture that took until the 1800s to figure out that washing their hands was good are setting themselves up as the Universal Arbiters of Rationality.
(BTW, most of this also holds true for non-white Christianity, too. I guarantee you most white Christian atheists don’t have a good sense of what role church plays in the lives of Black communities, so maybe shut up about it.)
In any case, reducing Christianity--a massive, ambient phenomenon inextricable from Western culture--to the specific manifestation of Christian practice that you grew up with is, frankly, absurd. 
And you can’t be any help in deconstructing hegemony when you refuse to perceive it and understand that it isn’t something you can take off like a garment, and you probably won’t ever recognize and uproot all the ways in which it affects you, especially when you are continuing to live within it. 
What hegemony doesn’t want you to know
One of the ways hegemony sustains and perpetuates itself is by reinforcing the idea not so much that other ways of being and knowing are evil (although that’s usually a stage in an ideology becoming hegemonic), but that they’re impossible. That they don’t actually exist. 
See, again, the idea that anyone claiming to live differently is either lying or deluded.
There are few clearer examples of how pervasive Christian hegemony is than Christian atheists being certain every religion works like Christianity. Hegemonic Christianity wants you to think that all cultures work like Christianity because it wants their belief systems to be modular so you can just ...swap them. And it wants to pretend that culture/worldview is a free market where it can just outcompete other cultures.
But that’s... not how anything works. 
And the truth of the matter is that white nationalist Christians shoot at synagogues and Sikh temples and mosques because those other ways of being can’t be allowed to exist. 
They don’t shoot at atheist conventions because there’s room in hegemonic Christianity for Christian atheists precisely because Christian atheists are still culturally Christian. Their atheism is Christian-shaped.
They may not like you. They’re definitely going to try to convert you. They may not want you to be able to hold public office or teach their kids.
But the only challenge you’re providing is that of The Existence of Disbelief. And that’s fine. That makes you a really safe Other to have around. You can See The Light and not have to change much.
What you’re not doing is providing an example of a whole other way of being and knowing that (often) predates Christianity and is completely separate from it and has managed to survive it and continue to live and thrive (there’s a reason Christians like to speak of Jews and Judaism in the past tense, and it’s similar to the reason white people like to speak of indigenous peoples of the Americas in the past tense). 
That’s not a criticism--it’s fine to just... be post-Christian. There’s not actually anything wrong with being culturally Christian. The problems come in when you start denying that it’s a thing, or insisting that you, unique among humankind, are above Having A Culture.
But it does mean that you don’t pose the same sort of threat to Christianity that other cultures do, and hence, less violence. 
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liyawritesss · 3 months
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ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴋᴇɴᴊɪ ꜱᴀᴛᴏ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇ...
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-> synopsis: what would life be like to love the worlds baseball darling and secret superhero Ultraman, Kenji Sato?
-> pairing: kenji sato + black!gn!reader
-> from: ultraman: rising
-> contains: pure fluff, gender neutral, mentions of emiko and emi, 2nd person ('you', 'your', 'yours')
-> a/n: these animators need to stop making these kid movies with fine ass main characters bc whyyyyyyy is he so cute??? why do i wanna baby him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay? LET THIS MAN KNOW PEACE PLEASE!!!
-> join my taglist!
-> tags: @badass-dora-milaje @uranometrias @lees-chaotic-brain @jacuzziwaters
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Kenji Sato who loves loves loooooovveeesss those subliminal couples pictures. The ‘private but not secret’ ones. They’re so aesthetically pleasing to him and they allow him to show you off to the world while still maintaining an air of privacy that he cherishes deeply from the media. Kenji is proud to call you his, and wants to show that in all ways possible.
Kenji Sato who is heavy on the couples jewelry. He’s already got a couple of notable pieces in his collection beforehand, and they only expand when you come into his life. In fact, the speculations of his love life come from the fact that people were noticing that he was wearing pieces from brands that were specifically designed for couples. Of course, when asked about it, he never goes into depth about it, and just recites how he thinks they look nice on him…and on someone else.
Kenji Sato who introduces you to his mom only after he’s sure that he wants to be serious with you. I have a feeling Emiko is the type of mom to get attached to their child’s partner in the sense of already viewing them as part of the family very early on, and Kenji wouldn’t want to get her hopes up if something were to happen - he can’t stand to see his mom upset. But when he does introduce you to his mom, you two become the best of friends! So definitely expect to be sent on girls day adventures by Kenji, cuz he’ll definitely be treating the two most important women in his life like royalty.
Kenji Sato who requires a lot of patience to deal - I mean, the man has a lot going on. Being the number one baseball player in the world, saving Japan from threats as Ultraman, and caring for the large kaiju baby Emi is more than a lot on anyone's plate. Kenji’s gonna need someone to understand that his schedule is never solid, and plans may fall through from time to time, and thats not because he’s not trying, but it’s because spontaneity runs his life and things can change at the drop of a hat, out of his control. It’s not the life he asked for, but it’s one he must take on.
Kenji Sato who doesn't exactly know how to bring up the topic of him being Ultraman, much less about Emi, early on in the relationship. I mean, how often do you tell someone that you're Japan's legendary hundred-foot tall superhero or that you're the surrogate parent to a twenty foot tall baby dragon kaiju? As much planning that he does on telling you, it ultimately happens in the worse way possible - you end up finding him mid-transition with Emi in tow...now that's gonna be an interesting story to tell. Spoiler: you stay with him, but now he's subjected to jokes about how is ego isn't the only thing that blows up to an enormous degree.
Kenji Sato who appreciates a partner that can not only deal with spontaneity, but is also rather spontaneous themselves. Surprise dates, random gifts, adventurous propositions out of the blue, I think those kind of things are right up his alley. He’s learned to live life in the moment and to the fullest, because it can be taken from you within an instant, and he wants to cherish every moment he has with you.
Kenji Sato who would spend his money on you religiously. He’ll sit in the dressing room with you as you try on armfuls of clothes, only to hand you his credit card at the end of the haul with a kiss to your temple, encouraging you to buy it all if you desire. And don't let you look at something too long in a display window, because he will have it shipped to your address in two business days. Endless trips post-baseball season in secluded locations so that the two of you can optimize the privacy you desperately crave.
Kenji Sato who’s a little bashful and nervous in the beginning, but eases into the relationship as time goes on. He doesn’t wanna mess up something so good that he has going on. Opening up takes some time, as he’s got some high walls that are hard to climb, but once you do get him to open up and bare his heart to you, don’t take it for granted. He doesn't do this to everyone, only the people he feels will truly return the care and compassion he has - so don’t prove him wrong.
Kenji Sato who seeks your comfort in the middle of the night when sleep evades him, leaving him restless and anxious. Most times, its about his mom and her disappearance, a mystery that's never left his mind. If you don't wake up to find him sitting up in bed deep in thought, or trying to tire himself out in a simulation, he finds comfort in just cuddling you, admiring your sleeping form, and talks about the most random things until the sun begins to peak over the horizon.
Kenji Sato who’s sort of in between the serious lover and the playful lover - he’s maturing in his emotions and how to deal with his past, learning how to communicate better and express himself healthily. Simultaneously, he’s a goofball and a jokester reliving a bit of his childhood in his love with you. Playful banter, jokes and teasing are equally as present as the late night talks and the deep conversations the two of you share.
Kenji Sato who tucks the chain that has his promise ring on it close to his chest, and on game days, rubs his thumb over the gold band for comfort and assurance before he heads up to bat. During championships, he'll ask you to kiss it for good luck, and when he wins, he of course accredits it to you being his 'good luck charm'.
Kenji Sato who loves deeply and fervently, with compassion and the entirety of his heart, who will do his duty and love you unconditionally an proudly while shielding you from the cruel and prying eyes of the public, letting you know time and time again that it will always be you he chooses, no matter what.
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If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don’t be shy to send in a request!
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ily-sunghoon · 29 days
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The Omen of Sterling | ENHYPEN
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Pairing : vampire!enhypen x fem!oc
Genre : vampire, kingdom, reverse harem <3, fluff, angst, smut on some chapters
Summary : The name Sterling hits like thunder for the royal bloodlines. Sterling is the most dangerous vampire family throughout the ages. After they left Krashoviel due to their sweet human daughter, twenty-one years later the same daughter came back for help... or the omen that Cairneyes warned the others about.
WARNINGS : mdni, heavy content, deep world building (i went kinda crazy), blood, murder, manipulation, gaslighting, toxic behavior, curses, religious theme mentioned sometimes, obsessive, (more to add later). DO NOT PROCEED if uncomfortable
Disclaimer : THIS IS PURE FICTION, ALL THE BEHAVIORS OF MY CHARACTERS ARE NOT RELATED TO ENHYPEN REAL MEMBERS AT ALL!
Note : hi, guys. i finally contribute to the enhablr community by publishing this old draft that i wrote years ago. it was inspired by one of my loooong dream that i had on christmas eve night back then in 2020. i decided to stick on the original names that i have for them. all the fem characters doesn't have any face claims, i leave them to your imaginations. some random male idols might appear in the future as relatives/enemy/friends. without further do, meet the characters and i hope you guys enjoy!
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CHAPTERS — PROLOGUE CHAPTER I CHAPTER II CHAPTER III
Introduction to our vampires:
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Jestel Sinflame
/jé-ssel/ 299 years old — The rightful crown prince of Krashoviel. Choosing peace over war right now (living under the same roof as his brother-like best friends rather than in the sucking dry and toxic castle). A little bit classist like his family, Sinflame, except towards Ricardo, who he saw the potential of that kid himself. His parents died during the Red War and now he’s trying his hardest to contact his brother, Holstein, who also got lost in the war.
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Sarco Phelanflame
/sár-ko/ 288 years old — Phelanflame has always been the first row at wars. They’re the leader of the soldiers. Very strong since birth with a little sadistic tendency. Their personality is cold, much colder than the other vampires around Krashoviel. If not cold, they’re always a little bit of an oddball. All the elders in his family were deceased during the last war. Now, Phelanflame only has three members, including Sarco and his two other cousins.
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Ricardo Nikolai
/ree-kár-do/ 20 years old — Came from an orphanage, Ricardo is a third-class vampire in Krashoviel. He got lucky because Jestel and Sarco saw his potential while visiting his orphanage, they took him home and gave him all the facilities he needed. Ricardo likes to play fight with almost everybody, but his favorite activity to do is disturbing Jusarlie’s peace.
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Jasper
/jæs-per/ approximately 23 years old — A new vamp who was found in the woods during their monthly patrolling. No one knows about his background, he lost his memory, so they named him Jasper.
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Saine Cairneye
/sāin/ 201 years old — Grandson of the current Queen on the throne. His mother died during the war. The Cairneye bloodline is in charge of magick, witchcraft, astrology, omen, and so on. Their current job is reading people intentions and possible-futures with their crazy personality tests. They are blessed with good physical appearance, and all of them look like elves. They have a silly little hobby, which is accidentally having a vision that scares the royal family a.k.a Sinflame!
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Jusarlie Grieffang
/jou-sār-lee/ 297 years old — Grieffang, the fang of Krashoviel. They are the greatest strategists and professors, Grieffang is one of the keys of Krashoviel’s endless winning of wars. They’re still relatives with Sinflame. Jusarlie is Jestel’s distant nephew, though their age gap is not far. Rival kingdoms tried to kidnap and use Grieffangs against Krashoviel during their wars, but it was no use, Grieffangs are loyal and far smarter than them. Plenty of them are still alive after the wars along with Sinflames.
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Hiael Von Ruden
/heeæl/ 314 years old — His original nation is Slevado, Hiael was a crown prince. He turned his back after the Red War, and it creates a huge controversy. He is now working under Jestel’s command and is currently busy training Jasper. He’s reserved, calm, to the point where it becomes scary rather than comforting for his surroundings. No one knows what is on his mind, but for Jestel, as long as he has made a blood pact then he’s good.
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© ily-sunghoon, 2024 DO NOT COPY, STEAL, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST ON OTHER PLATFORM DO NOT TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION
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vaspider · 5 months
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Hi there! Hope you’re having a good day mama spider. Just dropping by to ask for some info on an addition to a post about Judaism you made. I chose to ask you and not op because i’ve sent you an ask before and know that you answer them. So real quick, why did you type out G-d rather than God or god? Does it have something to do with Judaism? Is it just for the faithful to follow and not goyim? As an atheist who was formerly Catholic i just wanna learn more and be respectful of others’ religions whenever i can. I know next to nothing about Judaism, even though they’re a good portion of my county’s population. Hope this ask isn’t insensitive in any way, and thanks for taking the time to read this <3
This isn't insensitive to ask. It's actually a great question, and I'm glad that you asked if you're curious.
Since those articles cover your asks pretty well, I'm gonna give you some free bits of info to help your quest for respectfulness, which is pretty rad, btw: we don't really use phrases like "the faithful" bc Judaism doesn't require faith in G-d. There is no conflict between Judaism and atheism & there are a lot of Jewish atheists and agnostics. Judaism is an ethnoreligion and a people in a way that a lot of religions aren't, and in fact, the symbolism for one of my favorite holidays emphasizes that we are not complete without all kinds of Jews:
The functions of the four species are defined by both their smell and taste, or lack thereof, along with some interesting imagery from the Midrash (Vayikra Rabbah 30:12): The etrog has both taste and smell, representing people who both perform good deeds and have Torah (knowledge). The lulav has taste but no smell, representing those who do not use their knowledge to perform good deeds. The hadass (myrtle) has smell but no taste, representing those who perform good deeds but lack the knowledge to excel at them. The aravah (willow) has no taste and no smell, representing those who lack both.
"Good deeds" here doesn't just mean "being nice to your neighbors" but refers directly to performing mitzvot/mitzvahs, the 613 commandments that observant Jews observe to varying levels of specificity and intensity.
It's not offensive to use a phrase like "the faithful," just isn't ... correct, you know? Instead, you'd just say Jews or Jewish people. If you're trying to refer specifically to Jews who are religious or believe in G-d... there isn't exactly a phrase for that, I guess you'd say "observant," because there are a lot of Jews who are observant but also atheists, since observant Jews may be observing mitzvaot for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with belief in the existence of G-d.
Anyway, there you go, with some bonus info. As always, I don't speak for everybody, 2 Jews 3 Opinions, etc.
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hauntedraggedyanne · 25 days
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Uncommon villain motivations
Just have some fun with them
—Protection of a loved one, because the hero’s actively pursuing something that would kill the loved one
—They represent a part of nature (illness, natural disasters, fungi, etc)
—They’re in pursuit of knowledge
—They don’t want to be forgotten. Easier to go down as a horrible person rather than a good person to them.
—Pursuit of something that can save themselves (ex: a cure to an illness)
—To make a statement about the current political/religious/community climate
—Forced to always do the exact opposite of the hero. They’re their shadow, and when the hero saves, the villain kills. You could make them a doppelgänger, or a literal dark reflection of the hero. (Okay I’m kinda biased I really like this one. If you’ve got any ideas for it please please let me know)
—They’re forced too, not by mind control or anything, but through their own will. Arguably that’s worse.
—To make change in whatever way they can
—They’re trying to rebuild whatever (or whoever) they lost
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helen-with-an-a · 2 months
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I was thinking a little piece for jflem where both her and her gf are in the Olympic village at the same time but for different sports - maybe they’re pretty fresh with each other too (u can pick which sport but I was thinking something niche like weightlifting or sailing - have fun with it!!)
Hiiii, so I was an artistic swimmer (aka Synchronised Swimming) growing up and that's a really niche sport so I chose that one hehe. Also this is my first time writing for Jessie but i think I might start writing for her properly. I liked the idea of a new relationship but I might make that into a fic of its own so I haven’t included it here. I hope you enjoy this one - I really liked writing it.
Meet Me at the Rings
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Description: Jessie and R reunite in the Village
Word Length: 1.5k
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You cried the day you found out you were going to the Olympics again. It was technically your second time – you had gone to Tokyo, but you were counting this as your first proper time since you now had the crowds and the freedom to truly enjoy the competition.
You knew that your country had qualified for the Olympics some time ago now, but with the nature of all team sports, you didn’t know if you were going. You were an artistic swimmer. Some people called your sport easy, or pointless. But you knew what it had taken to haul your team into qualification. There were only 8 spaces on the full team, and 2 reserves. The nerves had been bubbling away since the qualification competition. You had swum in every routine since you made the national squad just before your 17th birthday, but you were well aware of how fickle sport could be. One bad performance, and you wouldn’t be on that plane to Paris. You were at home with Jessie when you got the phone call. The phone call. The one that told you, you had been selected to go to Paris. You could barely remember the conversation – too busy freaking out that you were to be an Olympian … again!
Not even thirty minutes after your phone call, Jessie’s phone buzzed. Her turn. She had confided in you a few weeks earlier that she was nervous about getting into the team. You knew her fears were unfounded – she was Captain for crying out loud. But you understood where she was coming from. It was the anticipation that made everyone nervous.
That night had been … eventful, to say the least. Tears were shed, excitement voiced, nerves expressed, and love shared. It was perfect. Even more perfect was knowing that this time, you were able to see Jessie and probably watch a few of her matches too.
It was far too warm in Paris. It was hot and sticky and sweaty in the bad way. The rooms didn’t have air con, and the tiny little handheld fan Jessie had gifted you before you left wasn’t helping much – although every time you used it, you remembered her little soft smile and wide brown eyes that graced her features when she handed it over. You had been teased mercilessly by your teammates. The blush that bloomed across your cheeks each time you thought of Jessie would have been embarrassing if you were bothered enough. Your coach had joked that you looked like a meerkat whenever someone in red walked past. You just couldn’t help yourself. It had been too many weeks since you last saw Jessie in person. Your training camp had been a month long; the first two weeks being in London and the second half being in Lyon. Facetimes and texts were not doing it for you. You needed to feel her again, you needed to have her arms around you, squeezing you just so and have her pepper kisses into your hair.
You were even more excited knowing that she was soon to be in the same location as you. Her group games had been in St-Etienne, and you had watched her matches religiously – ignoring the jeers from your friends whenever she was on screen. You had never been the biggest football fan, often favouring water sports rather than anything running related. But that had all changed the moment Jessie had entered your life. You were easily her greatest fan. Your off day was Sunday, which meant that more often than not, you were in the crowd, her name and number splashed across your back. But now that she was in Paris – you were shaking with anticipation. Not only of being reunited with her, but you were finally able to be in the crowd. And you hoped she was able to sneak away to watch you too.
Your competition hadn’t started yet, having it be scheduled for the 2nd week of the games. But you hoped she was able to sneak away. Your heart jumped at the thought. She had never been able to watch a full competition in person before. It seemed a little strange, you were at every home game (and a good few away games) yet she hadn’t been to yours. You had brought it up to her once – she reassured you that she watched every moment of the live stream, especially when it was your country’s performance. But your competitions were usually during the season, and often lasted a week or so that she just couldn’t take off from football. You knew this, and you completely understood – especially since she was the one that earned the most … far more than you ever would for your sport. When you first met her, you were training full time and worked two part time jobs to get by. When you eventually moved in with her, she had insisted you drop down to just one. She could see how much it was killing you – the early morning trainings, the late-night shifts, never having free time to relax. You knew with Jessie’s salary you didn’t have to work any extra jobs if you didn’t want to, but that felt wrong on so many levels that you never entertained the thought for more than a few seconds. But all the sacrifice was worth it. You were now in the Olympic village. Waiting for your girlfriend to join you. This is what you had dreamed about as a young girl.
Your phone buzzed,
My J ❤️🤍⚽️: I’ve just got to the village
My J ❤️🤍⚽️: Can you meet me by the rings in like 20 minutes?
My Baby 🩵💙🩵: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
My Baby 🩵💙🩵: Ur here??????????
My Baby 🩵💙🩵: And yes I can meet u at the rings!!!!!
My Baby 🩵💙🩵: Already omw
The speed you leapt to your feet was comical. You were practically running out of the canteen towards the Olympic rings. You heard your friend’s laughter as you disappeared, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Jessie was here. Excitement bubbled up in your chest. You could already imagine her walking over, the grey team Canada jumper on, regardless of how hot it was outside. Her black joggers and white trainers. You could image the little pink blush on her cheeks fanning out over her freckles and her loose brown curls tucked behind her ears. You looked down at yourself quickly, double checking that you looked relatively presentable – although there wasn’t much you could actually do about it now. Walking past a window, you assessed your reflection. Hair? Fine. Outfit? Acceptable. Face? It’ll do. Why did you feel a little nervous? This was only Jessie. Jessie, your girlfriend. Jessie, the love of your life. Jessie, the girl you were head over heels for. Jessie, the person you hadn’t seen in more than a month.
Regardless of how in your head you were, you knew exactly when she was nearby. It was like a signal had gone off in your brain. You looked up, head whipping from side to side as you scanned the crowd.
There she was.
Dressed exactly as you imagined, down to the accreditation worn like a cross-body bag. You squealed, pushing yourself of the wall you had been leaning on and sprinting in her direction. You launched yourself at her. Arms around her waist and scooping her up so her feet were dangling in the air a little. It didn’t matter that you were in the middle of the Olympic Village, thousands of miles away from where you lived. You were finally home. You felt your heart lift, the pressure that had been baring down on you all week, all month really, was gone in a moment.
“Hi, baby,” she whispered, her head buried in your shoulder.
“Hey, J.” You felt the tears welling up. “I missed you so much,” you sniffled.
“I missed you too, my beautiful girl.” You leaned back slightly, using your hands to guide her face out of your neck and taking your time to let your eyes rake across her face. She looked a little more tanned than the last time you saw her. But beyond that, she looked exactly the same. Gorgeous and perfect and safe.
You saw her eyes flick down to your lips, a small smirk dancing on her face. You leaned in, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She frowned slightly, a crease forming between her eyebrows. You kissed the corner of her mouth this time, just slightly too far away from where she wanted you.
“Kiss me,” she whined, a demanding tone to her voice. You knew if you were at home she probably would have stomped her foot.
“So impatient,” you teased, although you were just as desperate to finally feel her lips on yours.
“Shut up,” she pulled you to her, effectively ending any more jokes on your end. She tasted like she always did. Heaven. Her lips were soft and a little chapped. You hummed softly, ignoring the fact that you were essentially making out in an incredibly public place.
You parted eventually, resting your forehead on hers.
“You smell like chlorine,” she smiled, her breath wispy in the best way.
“You taste like oranges,” you countered, pressing another swift kiss to her lips.
She sighed gently, wrapping her arms around your waist.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” you whispered.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” she whispered back.
I hope you enjoyed <3<3<3<3
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jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd · 8 months
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🤍a completely random modern au headcanon for each aot character 🤍
eren jaeger’s idea of late night fun is going to walmart/target/etc. he likes to walk around with his friends and be absolutely childish. bonus: he’s banned from a certain store for kicking an inflatable ball across the store.
armin arlert is self conscious of his body. it’s only really his torso though. when him and his friends go to the beach, he’s always the last one to take his shirt off. he doesn’t even have anything to be embarrassed about, he’s just disappointed he’s not as muscular as eren or reiner.
mikasa ackerman’s favorite color is a dark red. the blood, cherry type of red. she’s got a lip tint in that color and her nails are painted too much. she also chews her nails. she hopes the nail polish is enough to break the habit but it isn’t.
connie springer’s favorite fast food restaurant is burger king. he thinks it’s underrated. you can count on him to fuck up a whopper. he also always gets the cardboard crowns to wear.
jean kirstein loves night time. he loves the solitude, the way nobody expects anything from him, and the fact that he can just be. he doesn’t get lonely during his late nights but he wouldn’t mind somebody to share it with.
sasha braus smells really good. she doesn’t use any super fancy products, though. she’s just one of those people that naturally have a good aroma. her skin is also really soft.
ymir tans really easy in the summer. she never burns or turns red. she’s genetically blessed. the sun also makes the freckles on her face pop and clusters of them pop up on her back/shoulders.
historia reiss loves milkshakes and soda floats. she always orders them with a whipped cream and cherry. she prefers milkshakes from a diner rather than a fast food place.
marco bodt really likes plants. he has a collection of houseplants. they line his window sills and he even has a special little rack with a special little light. he’s got a super green thumb.
reiner braun drinks protein shakes religiously. he pretty much sticks to a diet of shakes, meat, vegetables and rice. there are few times where he breaks his routine, usually just joining his friends for a night of drinking.
bertholdt hoover has a surprisingly high tolerance when it comes to weed and alcohol. at least that’s what it looks like on the outside. he’s pretty cool, calm and collected. nobody’s sure if he’s immune to being drunk, or if he’s too anxious about acting a fool to show any signs of inebriation.
annie leonhardt owns a german shepherd 100%. she’s had it since it was a pup and it’s one of the most well behaved dogs. they’re oddly similar in their mannerisms. bonus: it’s named marley.
pieck finger is the type of girl to sit on the floor. like, at all times. when she’s sad, she’ll lay down completely and just stare at the ceiling. it’s peaceful and it makes her feel relaxed.
porco galliard goes through an ungodly amount of hairgel. his hair is hard like those ballroom/ballet dancers in competitions. he has trouble growing facial hair.
zeke jaeger gets his weed flown to him from another state/country. it’s the best shit around. he’s also never home because he “runs a business.” always found with a blunt near by.
levi ackerman doesn’t like energy drinks or coffee. if he needs caffeine, he gets it from tea or some kind of health drink. he doesn’t understand how kids hearts don’t give out with all their monsters and red bulls.
erwin smith is so friendly despite his appearance. he finds joy in little things like a heads up penny or when the barista remembers his name/order. he’s a pretty easy going guy.
hange zoe breaks her glasses all the time. they either sit on them or step on them. it’s easy for them to lose their glasses because their room is a mess. books, papers, knick knacks everywhere.
my jean fic
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doctorbitchcrxft · 2 months
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Houses of the Holy | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader (Eventual ;) )
Warnings: MNDI 18+ ONLY, canon violence, canon gore, SMUT, breast play, cunnilingus, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t do this irl pls and thanks), dirty talk, dom/sub dynamics, clit spanking, descriptions of religious trauma (there’s a lot of talk of the two things you should never talk about in here: religion and politics)
Word Count: 5892
A/N: need i say it again, goodbye, minors!!! Be gone!!! please!!!
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Every twenty or so minutes, you reloaded the FBI’s database you’d managed to tap into. You were getting incredibly anxious about Dean’s presence on their radar following the bank “robbery” the week prior. 
Sam went out to pose as a psychotherapy nurse to interrogate a woman whose personality seemed to have changed overnight after killing a man, claiming an angel led her to do so. You were placed on “Dean duty” after Sam insisted his brother stay here to avoid being seen. You were right on board with that idea, but you needed to stay behind to make sure Dean didn’t go stir crazy and leave stupidly.
A thousand thoughts swirled through your head as you wrote in your journal. 
“When I was on my own, I was a fucking expert at staying away from police,” you wrote. “Now, suddenly, I’m on cases with these two where every time I turn around, a cop is on my ass. I’m not super crazy about that idea. However, I don’t wanna leave them. They’re my best friends, and I know Dean is something more to me. I don’t wanna give that all up just because I’m starting to sweat a bit, y’know? 
“I am not one to shy away from trouble, and I’m loyal. Those are two qualities I’m super proud of,” you continued writing, “I just am worried. And I feel like that’s completely normal. But it’s a different kind of worry. I’ve never had to be concerned about two other people when I’m hunting. This is the first time I’ve had partners who are just as good as I am. And I’ve never cared about my partners this much. And in a way, that sucks.
“And what the hell was I thinking promising Sam that I’d kill him if necessary? Am I out of my fucking mind?? I don’t know what I’d do if Dean hated me. But I’d still rather him hate me than hate himself. I can go it alone again. I really could. I just don’t think I want to.”
You dropped your pen and scrubbed a hand over your face before pulling it through your hair. 
“Sweetheart. C’mere,” Dean groaned from the other end of the room. He was laying on a vibrating motel bed with his headphones in his ears. He’d been obsessively fueling the “Magic Fingers” machine with quarters. 
You headed over to him just as the bed stopped vibrating.
“Damn, that was my last quarter,” he huffed, taking his headphones out of his ears. He seemed not to notice you until that moment. “Oh, hey.” 
You sat on the bed next to him, and he was still laid out in the center of the bed on his back.”Whatcha need?”
“You,” he said, smirking.
You laughed as he pulled on the ends of your— his— shirt, trying to get you to lay on top of him. You happily complied, leaning forward to kiss him. Between kisses, you giggled, “Dee, we already fucked this morning. You’re seriously ready again?”
He hummed against your lips. “Always.”
You rolled your head away from him. “I have sex with you once, and suddenly, you’re insatiable.”
“I can’t help it,” he smirked. “You’re gorgeous.”
You faux-pouted. “That’s it?”
He rolled on top of you and kissed up your neck. “And smart.” He kissed you again, moving to your left cheek. “And badass.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “And sexy.” He kissed your lips. “I hate how much I need you.”
You mocked offense. “Why do you hate it?”
“ ‘Cause I don’t like to need anyone,” he replied. 
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I need you, too.” You leaned up to him and pecked his lips before leaning back down on the pillows. “And not just sexually,” you clarified.
He chuckled. “Same here,” he told you earnestly.
You grinned widely, pulling him back down to your lips by the nape of his neck. He eagerly bit your bottom lip before trailing his lips down your neck. He sucked a dark spot on your collarbone, making you tug his hair and moan. He groaned against your skin before hiking the shirt up your body, swirling his tongue around your nipples. Still sensitive from your activities earlier in the morning, your back immediately arched into him and you keened, encouraging him to keep going. He switched to your other breast and chuckled as you continued writhing underneath him. “Wonder if I could make you cum just like this,” he said, looking up at you. 
“Stop teasing, Dean,” you whined, shoving his shoulders down to your pussy.
“Hmm, but it’s so much fun,” he replied. Dean skimmed his fingers down to the band of your underwear, playing with the hem. You sucked in a sharp breath and squirmed beneath him. “Why would I do what you want when this is so much more enjoyable for me,” he chuckled darkly.
“Dean!” you cried out. “Please!”
“Fine,” he responded. The man above you pushed your panties down your legs before dipping his fingers into your cunt. “So wet for me already?”
“Fuck you,” you murmured in embarrassment.
He tsked. “Is that any way to talk to the guy who made you cum three times this morning?”
“It is if he’s being a fucking tease,” you replied, running your nails over his abs just above his V-line.
He groaned at your actions before grabbing your wrist and pinning it next to your head. “Now who’s being a tease?” Dean used one hand to pin your wrist above your head and the other to grab your other. He pinned them above your head, instructing you to keep them there.
He moved back down your body, stopping when he reached your core. He eagerly ate you out like a man starved, and your hands flew to his hair. He immediately stopped. 
“What’d I say?” he asked gruffly.
“Sorry,” you replied sheepishly, grabbing the headboard above you to keep your hands there.
He moved back to your pussy, sucking your clit into his mouth and making you grip the headboard tighter. “Fuck, Dean!” you cried out.
He curled two long fingers inside you, groaning at the slick pooling between your thighs. Your orgasm was quickly approaching as he hit your g-spot with the tips of his fingers and continued harshly sucking your clit, every now and again swirling his tongue around it. 
“Fuck, fuck, please, I’m gonna—” And then he was gone. “What the fuck?” you whined at the feeling of his fingers leaving you.
“You don’t get to come until I say,” he growled. “You understand?”
You nodded eagerly, still white-knuckling the headboard. You spread your legs wide, fully displaying your pussy to him. “Fuck me, Dean.”
His hand came harshly down on your clit. You yelped in surprise.
“You don’t make the demands here, I do.” He spanked your clit one more time for good measure before shoving his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them in earnest, closing your eyes as you licked them clean. Dean groaned at the feeling and freed his fingers from your mouth, gripping your throat as he bent down to kiss you. 
Before you knew it, Dean’s cock was inside you, making you gasp into his mouth. He sheathed himself fully inside you, and you locked your legs around his hips. He rocked into you roughly, each thrust making you come more and more alight. 
“Can I touch you?” you breathed out. “Please?”
“Beg,” he replied, still keeping his thrusts even.
“Dean, please let me touch you. Please, please, I need to touch you,” you groveled through shallow breaths. 
“Hmm…” he smirked, rolling his hips into yours roughly. 
“Dean! Please! Please!” you cried, gasping. “I need to feel you, Dee.”
“Okay, sweetheart, you can,” he said.
You were on him in an instant, one hand in his hair and the other winding around the underside of his shoulders. You kissed your way down his neck and nipped at the base of it, careful not to leave any dark marks; even though you really wanted to. Dean’s pace began to falter as you felt his cock twitching inside you.
“Cum with me,” he instructed you. He reached down to your clit, drawing rough circles, before burying his face in your shoulder. “Cum with me, now, (Y/N).”
You came with a high-pitched moan, your orgasm crashing into you suddenly. Your legs locked around the base of Dean’s spine, keeping him inside you as he came. You moaned again at the feeling of his cum spilling inside you. His thrusts slowed, and he pulled out, causing you to whine at the loss. Dean laid on your bare chest, breathless. 
You took a few minutes to linger in this feeling which you decided was your version of heaven. No monsters, no fighting, no police run-ins— just Dean laying on your chest, breathing in time with you. However, you knew Sam would be coming back any minute now.
“Dean,” you said, trying to wiggle out from under him.
“Hm?”
“We gotta get up, Sam’s gonna be back soon.”
“Who cares.”
“Me!” you squealed as his grip tightened around you. “I don’t really want Sam to see my bare tits!”
He kissed between the valley of your breasts, nuzzling your left one with his cheek. “But I wanna keep lookin’ at ‘em.”
“Dean!”
“Alright, alright.” He finally let go of you, and you pulled your clothes back on. This time, you put your jeans and the shirt you wore before you and Dean fucked for the first time that morning to avoid Sam knowing what had been happening. You headed back over to your laptop, and reloaded the FBI’s database page.
“What is so important over there?” Dean asked, coming over to you. 
You turned your laptop to face him. 
“Seriously? You’re gonna drive yourself crazy lookin’ at that.”
“Well, sorry, but I’m trying to keep you from getting arrested,” you scoffed.
He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I know.”
You looked away from your computer and back up to him with big doe eyes.
“Stop fucking looking at me like that,” Dean growled.
You tilted your head in confusion. “Why?”
“ ‘Cause I’m not gonna be able to control myself if you don't,” he replied.
Despite your earlier activities, heat flooded once more between your thighs. “Dean—”
At that moment, Sam burst through the door. “Hey.”
Dean jerked away from you, and you awkwardly returned to the computer in front of you.
“So, did you get in to see that crazy hooker?” Dean questioned, scratching the back of his neck. 
Sam nodded. “Yeah. Gloria Sitnick. And I'm not so sure she's crazy.”
“But she seriously believes that she was... touched by an angel?” Dean questioned.
“Yeah. Blinding light, feelings of spiritual ecstasy, the works. I mean, she's living in a locked ward and she's totally at peace.”
You scoffed. “Definitely completely sane. What about the guy she stabbed?”
“Uh, Carl Gully. She said she killed him because he was evil,” Sam explained. 
“Was he?” Dean asked.
The brunet shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, I couldn't find any dirt on him. I mean, he didn't have a criminal record, he worked at the campus library, had lots of friends. He was a churchgoer.”
Dean paced around, all-business mode. “Hm. So then Gloria's just your standard-issue wacko. I mean, phew, she wouldn't be the first nutjob in history to kill in the name of religion. Know what I mean?”
“No, but she's the second in town to murder because an angel told them to. Little bit odd, don't ya think?” Sam countered.
“Well, little odd, yes, supernatural, maybe. But angels? I don't think so.”
“Agreed,” you chimed in.
“Why not?” Sam asked.
“ ‘Cause angels aren’t real,” you replied.
“(Y/N/N), there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted,” the younger brother reminded you.
“Yeah, you know what? There's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they, they ride on silver moonbeams, and they shoot rainbows out of their ass,” Dean grunted.
Sam sat down across from you, deadpanning, “Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?”
“That's cute,” Dean monotoned, “I'm just saying, man, there's just some legends that you just, you file under ‘bullcrap’.”
“And you've got angels on the bullcrap list.”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“ ‘Cause I’ve never seen one,” you chimed in.
Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “So what?”
“So I believe in what I can see,” Dean argued.
“Dean! You and I have seen things that most people couldn't even dream about.”
“Sam,” you started, trying to mollify both brothers. “I think that’s his point. We can actually see that stuff. Hard proof, y’know? We don’t have hard proof of angels.”
“This is a– a demon or a spirit,” Dean continued. “You know, they find people a few fries short of a happy meal, and they trick them into killing these randoms.”
Sam sighed. “Maybe.”
“Can we just— I'm going stir-crazy, guys. Hey, let's go by Gloria's apartment, huh?” Dean begged you and Sam. 
“I was just there. Nothing. No sulfur, no EMF…” Sam trailed off.
“You didn't see any fluffy white wing feathers?” Dean deadpanned.
“But Gloria did say the angel gave her a sign, right beside Carl Gully's doorway,” Sam huffed.
Dean perked up at that notion. “Could be something at his house; it's worth checking out.”
“I don’t love that idea, Dean. Please… stay here, okay? Sam and I can handle it,” you argued.
Dean groaned. “(Y/N), I’m going fucking crazy in here. Please?”
You crossed your arms. “No.”
He went to say something again.
“No. Sam, you’re on Dean duty. I’ll be back in a few hours,” you stated firmly.
“(Y/N)—”
“Dean,” you warned. “I’ll bring you back some beers, okay?”
He huffed. 
“I’ll throw a burger and some quarters in there, too, okay?” 
Dean huffed again, but said nothing in response. 
You tugged your boots on, and Sam tossed the keys to you.
“Not a scratch, (Y/N),” Dean told you firmly.
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
***
About two hours later, you returned with a six pack and burgers and fries for the boys. 
“Oh, (Y/N), thank god,” Sam exclaimed when you returned. 
“What, has he been that bad?” you asked. 
“I’m right here, y’know,’ Dean grumbled. “You bring any quarters?”
“Told you I would.” You chucked the roll of quarters and his car keys back at him. 
You put the six pack down on the table and began distributing the food between the brothers.
“Woman, you’re fucking awesome,” Dean groaned as he took a bite of his burger. 
Sam laughed. “So, what’d you find out?”
“Well, Mr. Gully had some pretty dark secrets,” you began. “I found three sets of bones buried under his house. Poor babies were kids from the local college who disappeared about a year ago. And get this; all of ‘em were last seen at the library.”
“Sick bastard,” Dean grunted. 
“So Gloria's angel—” Sam started, only to be cut off by Dean.
“Angel?”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Okay. Whatever this thing is…”
“Whatever it is, it's struck again,” Dean jumped back in through a mouthful of food.
“What?” you questioned.
“Dean hasn’t put down the police radio since you left,” Sam told you. “There was this guy, uh, Zach Smith, some local drunk; he went up to a stranger's front door last night, stabbed him in the heart.”
“And then I'm guessing he went to the police and confessed?” you asked.
“Yep. Roma Downey made him do it,” Dean quipped. He took a post-it note off the mirror. “Now, I, uh, got the victim's address.”
“Dean—”
“(Y/N), I am not staying here again. Just this one thing? Please?”
“No, Dee. I’m not taking that risk. You have got to lay low,” you insisted.
“(Y/N), how are you gonna stop me from doing my job?”
“Because if it involves putting yourself at risk, then it’s not happening,” you protested. 
“My whole job is risk,” he argued, stepping closer to you. “There’s just… an added level now.”
“Exactly. Which means we have to be that much more careful. Especially considering we have the feds on our ass. I’m not letting this happen,” you shot back.
“Hate to say it, Dean, I think (Y/N)’s right,” Sam jumped in. “I’ll go check out the vic’s house. (Y/N), stay here.”
“Fine by me,” you said. 
Dean grunted in aggravation, and flopped down on the bed after putting a few quarters in the Magic Fingers machine. You knew he’d probably stay angry with you for the rest of the evening. 
After a few minutes of silence and when the rumbling came to an end, you spoke up again. “Dean,” you sighed. “I’m not trying to be a huge ass, okay? I’d be angry with me, too. But this is just… It’s a lot. And I’m trying to keep you boys as safe as possible. And I wanna help Sam with this case, but I can’t if I’m worried about you not staying put, okay?”
Dean didn’t respond, and you thought for a moment that he’d fallen asleep. At least, that was until you heard him murmur, “Okay.”
*** Sam informed you and Dean that the most recent victim had been planning to meet with a thirteen-year-old girl. Your stomach turned when he told you, and Dean looked like he would’ve kicked the guy to hell and back given the opportunity. Sam also told you that both victims went to the same church called “Our Lady of the Angels.”
“That’s funny,” you’d commented. 
Following last night’s conversation with Dean, you felt more comfortable leaving him to his own devices. And so, it was up to you and Sam to go talk to the priests at said church.
“So you're interested in joining the parish?” the priest, who’d introduced himself as Father Reynolds, asked you.
“Yes, sir,” you replied.
“Where'd you say you lived before?”
“Fremont, Texas,” you said without missing a beat.
“Really? That's a nice town,” Fr. Reynolds noted. “St. Teresa's parish, you must know the priest there.”
“Yes, sir. He’s wonderful,” you nodded.
“You know, we're just happy to be here now, Father,” Sam broke in.
“And we're happy to have you, we could use some young blood around here.”
“Hey, listen, I gotta ask,” you began hesitantly. “No offense, but uh, the neighborhood?”
Fr. Reynolds sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Well, it's gone to seed a little, there's no denying that, but that's why what the church does here is so important. Like I always say, you can expect a miracle, but in the meantime you work your butt off.”
“Yeah, we, uh, heard about the murders,” you acknowledged.
“Yes. The victims were parishioners of mine, I'd known them for years.”
Sam quirked his head to the side. “And the killers said that an angel made them do that?”
“Yes. Misguided souls, to think that God's messenger would appear and incite people to murder. It's tragic,” the priest sighed. 
“So you don't believe in the whole ‘angel’ thing?” you questioned. 
“Oh, no, I absolutely believe,” he chuckled. “Kind of goes with the job description.”
Sam nodded toward the painting on the wall. “Father, that's Michael, right?”
“That's right. The archangel Michael, with the flaming sword. The fighter of demons. Holy force against evil.”
“So they're not really the Hallmark card version that everybody thinks? They're fierce, right? Vigilant?” 
“Well, I like to think of them as more loving than wrathful. But, uh, yes, a lot of Scripture paints angels as God's warriors. ‘An angel of the Lord appeared to them, the glory of the Lord shone down upon them, and they were terrified’,” the priest finished.
You nodded sagely. “Luke two nine.”
The priest seemed surprised you knew that. “Yes, actually.”
You laughed uncomfortably. “My, uh, my mom was a pretty zealous Catholic,” you explained as Fr. Reynolds began leading you out of the door. “She’d quiz me on the bible verses every now and again.”
You could feel Sam’s eyes on you while you began heading down the steps of the church. 
“Well, thank you for speaking with us, Father,” the brunet said. 
“Oh, it's my pleasure. Hope to see you again,” the priest nodded.
You noticed a collection of tribute items at the bottom of the steps; candles, flowers, pictures, and rosaries. “Hey, Father, what's, what’s all that for?”
Fr. Reynolds deflated a bit. “Oh, that's for Father Gregory. He was a priest here.”
“Was?” you questioned.
“He passed away right on these steps. He's interred in the church crypt,” he explained.
“When did this happen?”
“Two months ago. He was shot for his car keys.”
“God, I’m so sorry,” you told him.
“Yeah, me too.” The priest couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from his friend’s memorial. “He was a good friend. I didn't even have time to administer his last rites. But like I said, it's a tough neighborhood. Ever since he died I've been praying my heart out.”
“For what?” Sam asked.
“For deliverance. From the violence and the bloodshed around here. We could use a little divine intervention, I suppose,” he replied.
“Thanks, Father. We’ll see you around sometime,” you nodded solemnly. He headed back inside.
“Well, it's all starting to make sense. Devoted priest dies a violent death? That's vengeful spirit material right there,” you noted.
Sam seemed a bit uncomfortable.
“And he knew all the vics, because they went to church here,” you continued. “In fact I'm willing to bet that because he was their priest, he knew things about them that nobody else knew. Reconciliation and all that jazz.”
“Then again, Father Reynolds started praying for God's help about two months ago, right? Right about the time all this started happening?” Sam countered.
“Sam,” you sighed. “I know you wanna believe, but I’m not really sold on this whole ‘angel’ idea. Why do you seem so convinced?”
“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “But I do know that I pray. Every single day. I have for a long time.”
You startled a bit. “Really? I had no idea.”
“And what about you?” he asked. “What made you stop?”
“Well, like I said, my mom was always a bit of a zealot,” you began. “And… let’s just say I saw how well prayin’ worked out for her.” 
Sam shot you a puppy-dog-eyed look. 
“C’mon, let’s go check out Fr. Gregory’s grave.”
Sam followed you down to the crypt. It was a bit of a maze of stone hallways lined with numerous stone angel statues. You headed a little ahead of Sam deeper into the crypt. You turned back when you noticed Sam wasn’t behind you, and then suddenly felt the ground beneath you shaking.
“Oh, fuck,” you murmured before running to where you thought Sam may be. “Sammy?” you called. “Get the rocksalt out—” You halted momentarily when you noticed Sam’s slumped over form on the ground. “Hey! Sam! Wake up!” you cried, grabbing his face in both your hands. He jerked awake as soon as you touched him. “You okay?!” you asked worriedly.
He looked past you at the angel statue behind you. “Yeah. Yeah. 'm okay.” He seemed a little startled.
You helped him to his feet and led him into the sanctuary. “You saw it, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. Yeah, (Y/N), I saw an angel,” he said.
“You—” You shook your head, unsure how to approach this situation. “So. What makes you think you saw an, uh, angel?”
“It just, it appeared before me and I just, this feeling washed over me, you know? Like, like peace. Like grace,” he explained.
You swallowed harshly, feeling suddenly unsettled. “Wh—” You laughed uncomfortably.
“I know this is a lot, but I’m telling you, it spoke to me. It knew who I was,” he said.
You shook your head. “Spirits can do that, though, y’know that, right?”
Sam didn’t seem convinced. 
“Okay, let me guess,” you tried. “You were personally chosen to smite some sinner. You've just got to wait for some divine bat signal, is that it?”
“Yeah, actually,” Sam nodded.
“Great. I don't suppose you asked what this alleged bad guy did?”
“Actually I did, (Y/N). And the angel told me. He hasn't done anything. Yet. But he will,” Sam nodded.
You started pacing. “I don’t believe this.”
“(Y/N), the angel hasn’t been wrong yet!” Sam protested. “Someone's going to do something awful, and I can stop it!”
You scoffed. “You’re supposed to do something awful, too. Does that mean I’m just supposed to nuke you right now?”
“Y’know what? I don't understand! Why can't you and Dean even consider the possibility?”
“What, that this is an angel?”
“Yes! Maybe we're hunting an angel here, and we should stop! Maybe this is God's will!”
“Y’know what, Sam, if that’s what you believe, fine,” you sighed. “If faith is what helps you sleep at night and brings you a little peace, then, that’s great and I’m happy for you. But I cannot rationalize worshiping a god who’s gonna condemn me to a pit of fire and suffering for the simple fact of non-belief. I mean, think about it, man. He knows exactly what it would take to get every person to believe, and he still chooses not to show it to us.” You began to pace faster. “And, and? Why would homosexuality be the thing he chooses to put his foot down on? And if you are this great and good god, why is that love wrong? And if people believe in other religions, why does that mean they’re going to hell? What if they’re Buddhist and an exceptional person; they still have to go to hell? Hindu? I don’t fucking get it, Sam. And if my options are going to heaven with all the churchgoers— who are mostly hypocrites and these fuck-os who are abusing kids and murdering on Tuesday after just leaving church the Sunday before, then send me straight on down to hell. I’ll take eternity with actually decent people over these yuppies and troglodytes any day.” You stopped, taking a breath. “I’m sorry.”
Sam seemed shocked. “It’s okay,” he said, despite himself. 
You huffed, scratching the back of your head. “Anyway, I got some hard proof we’re dealing with a spirit.” You led him over to Father Gregory’s grave. It was crawling with mangled vines, and you crouched down in front of it. 
“That looks like—”
You cut Sam off. “Wormwood. Plant associated with the dead; specifically the ones that are not at rest. I don't see it growing anywhere else, except over the murdered priest's marker. It's him, Sam.”
“Maybe,” he shrugged.
“Maybe?”
“I don't know what to think,” he said honestly.
You sighed. “Okay. You want some more proof? I'll give you more proof.”
“How?” Sam asked.
“We'll summon Gregory's spirit,” you responded simply.
“What? Here? In the church?”
You nodded. “Yeah. Just need a few odds and ends and my journal for a séance ritual.”
“Oh, a séance, great. Hope Whoopi's available,” Sam quipped.
You deadpanned at him, “Cute. Seriously. If Father Gregory's spirit is around, a séance will bring him right to us. If it's him, then we'll put him to rest.”
“But if it's an angel, it won't show. Nothin' 'll happen.”
“Exactly,” you nodded. “And then we’ll know for sure. And then I can grovel in front of Michael or Zachariah or Castiel or whichever the hell angel it is and beg for their forgiveness before they smite me.”
“The hell kind of angel’s named Castiel?” Sam’s face scrunched up in confusion.
“Angel of temperance and serenity. Not traditional Catholicism, but I digress. I told you, my mom was a complete Jesus-freak,” you snorted. “Alright, let’s go get my journal. Hopefully Dean’s still there. I swear to god, I’ll send him to hell and back if he’s not.” *** Thankfully for Dean, he was right where you’d left him. He looked bored out of his skull, but he actually listened to you. “Jesus, how fuckin’ long does it take to talk to a priest?” 
“Not right now, Dean. Sam’s a little, uh, possessed? Cursed? Don’t know what the right word is in this situation. Divinely inspired?” you continued.
“What? He saw it?”
Sam nodded.
“We don’t have time to rehash all this. Now, Dean, you comin’ or not?” You turned to the elder brother.
“Wait, you’re letting me out?”
You scoffed. “Dean, you’re not a hostage. C’mon. We could use the help especially now that Sam’s been angel-drugged.”
Dean chuckled. 
“What?” you asked.
“Sam got touched by an angel,” he snickered.
You burst out in laughter, and Sam just deadpanned.
***
Your next stop was a small grocery store that you hoped didn’t have security cameras that would be able to identify Dean. Sam bounded out of the store holding a paper sack and chuckling. “Guys. I'll admit we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake. I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth?”
“We'll just put it Spongebob-side down,” Dean shrugged.
Sam’s laughter subsided suddenly as he stared at someone across the street. 
“What is it?” you asked him.
“It’s him,” he replied. “That's the sign!”
“Where?” Dean questioned.
“Right there, right behind that guy! That's him, Dean. And we have to stop him,” Sam pleaded.
Sam started after him, but you and Dean held the giant man back.
“Wait a second,” you stated. 
“What are you doing? Let me go,” Sam grunted.
“You're not going to go kill somebody because a ghost told you to, are you insane?” Dean hissed.
“Dean, I'm not insane, I'm not going to kill him. I'm going to stop him.”
“Define ‘stop’, huh? I mean, what are you going to do?” Dean pressed.
“Dean, please, he's going to hurt someone, you know it.”
“Alright, come on,” Dean said finally. You moved to the other side of the car, and Dean quickly shoved you down into the backseat. 
“Dean. Unlock my door,” Sam commanded, still standing on the sidewalk.
“You're not killing anyone, Sam. (Y/N) and I got this guy, you go do the séance,” he nodded.
“Dean!” Sam called after you, but Dean was already pulling away. He followed the man who’d been holding the yellow flowers down a short distance down the street before the guy stopped in front of a girl. She got in the car with him, and your heart sank as you climbed into the front seat.
“I don’t like where this is going,” you murmured.
“Yeah, me neither.” Dean gripped the wheel tightly and started trailing the blue car again. 
The allegedly evil man soon turned down a dark alley, and you temporarily lost sight of him. Dean cursed, “Dammit!” and slammed the steering wheel in frustration.
“Dean, Dean, follow him, c’mon,” you begged, and he slammed his foot on the gas, turning down the alley he thought he’d seen the man head down. Thankfully, his guess was correct, and you and Dean quickly ran to opposite sides of the man’s car. You could hear the young woman crying and the man shouting at her as you approached. Dean punched the window, and you took that as your opportunity to quickly pull the girl out of the car. 
“Are you okay?” you asked her, grabbing her shoulders.
“Thank god!” she cried, surging forward to hug you.
You called to Dean as the man sped off in his blue car. “Dean! I got her, you follow him! I’ll catch up with you later!”
Dean nodded, sprinting back to the Impala and following the man out of the alley.
“Did he do anything to you?” you asked her.
She shook her head, still crying.
“Do you have any friends nearby? I’ll walk you to ‘em,” you told her. 
The woman nodded. “Yeah, um, my friend—” she hiccuped, “my friend Sarah lives around here.”
“Okay, can you call Sarah? Let her know you’re on your way?”
She nodded again, and you rubbed her back with your hand to soothe her while you started walking toward her friend’s apartment.
You got to know her as you walked to help her calm down and distract her from what had just happened. Her tears slowly subsided, and you seemed to have calmed her down by the time you arrived at her friend’s apartment complex. She hugged you tightly after announcing the two of you had made it. 
“Thank you so much,” she told you. 
“Anytime,” you told her. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
She nodded and headed up the front steps. She turned to you when she reached the door, waving goodbye one last time.
***
You somehow managed to get back to the motel. Surprisingly, Sarah’s apartment hadn’t been too far from it. You only needed to walk about thirty minutes before you stumbled upon it. 
“Hey,” you said as you opened the door to the Winchesters’ room. Both Dean and Sam were packing. “How’s everybody doin?”
Sam looked demoralized. “You were right. It wasn't an angel. It was Gregory. I don't know, guys, I just, uh—” he sat down on the bed. “I wanted to believe… so badly. It's so damn hard to do this, what we do. You're all alone, you know? And there's so much evil out there in the world, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up—”
Dean sat next to him. “Yeah, well, don't worry about that. All right? I'm watching out for you.”
The brunet smiled. “Yeah, I know you are. But you're just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe…” he trailed off.
“Maybe what?” you asked.
“Maybe I could be saved.” He suddenly realized what he admitted and chuckled nervously. “But, uh, you know, that just clouded my judgment, and you're right. I mean, we've gotta go with what we know, with what we can see, with what's right there in front of our own two eyes.”
“Yeah, well, it's funny you say that,” Dean said.
“Why?” you asked.
“Gregory's spirit gave you some pretty good information. That guy in the car was bad news. We barely got there in time.”
“What happened to him?” you questioned.
“He's dead.”
“Did… Did you?” Sam asked.
The older brother shook his head. “No. But I'll tell you one thing. If— The way he died, if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes I never would have believed it. I mean— I don't know what to call it.”
Sam’s eyes widened. “What? Dean, what did you see?” 
“Maybe… God's will.”
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