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#rather that than having ppl pissed at me
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ever since i was a small child the adults around me have treated any boundaries i set as me being a selfish bitch and i think that definitely did something to me
#vent#like when i first developed my lovely ocd (i was 11ish) everyone was very pissed at me because since i needed things in life#to be a specific way and i had no choice but to live with people and when they did things that directly interfered with how i needed#things to be i'd get upset and every once in a while ppl will keep complaining like oh we have to do everything you want you're so#selfish and rude and we're just expected to do what you want and why should we well fuck y'all if you want to stop working with me#on this then i'm literally going to make your life hell because i expect the BARE MINIMUM respect to not directly mess with my boundaries#which have lessened over time like literally i've been getting better i know it's been a long time coming but i am not nearly as distressed#by some things anymore but to these fuckers they just thing i'm being controlling and rude and i make their lives miserable because i#need them to not touch my stuff and i need to be driven places and i can only eat certain foods that i make myself and i cannot#help with some chores without freaking out and to them that just means that i'm a parasite that is being controlling and bitchy when they#decide that actually they shouldn't help me when i can't do something or that no they shouldn't respect my boundaries or whatever#like idk i know i'm not a super nice person but i'm not trying to ruin everyone's life just to stay sane and like. i didn't ask to be born#i didn't ask to be born into this family i didn't ask to be fucked in the head i didn't ask for any of this but my mother? she decided to#have kids and it's not my fault she wasn't prepared for them all to be fucked up and it's not my fault that she doesn't believe in mental#illnesses and she just thinks that being depressed or having adhd means you're just lazy or having ocd means you're just being controlling#and that you can stop anytime or that having autism (which there is a chance that a couple of us do) means that you're just acting#out for no reason and don't want to behave like i know she thinks i'm a selfish bitch (she was very vocal abt that today) but i think it's#also pretty selfish to help fuck up your own kids and expect them to turn out all right and when they don't you just get mad at them for no#being perfect. like she just wants us to be normal i know she does that's why she doesn't like mental illnesses/disorders and shit that's#why she's transphobic i get it she wants us to be normal but guess fucking what we aren't and her attitude doesn't help like i know she has#done a lot for me but even when she's helping she likes to threaten to take it all away she used to threatened to stop driving me to#school when i just got in college at 15 or so and threatened to send me away bc she thought i was faking my ocd and it fucked me up y'know?#like i don't like that her helping me is conditional on whether she likes me at the moment because a lot of the times she doesn't like me i#when i was very mentally ill or depressed/suicidal/dying from a fucking eating disorder like i know she's helped me i know she's done a#lot for me that she says she went farther out of her way for than she should've and i know i'm fucking difficult but still i don't like#being called a fucking selfish bitch for asking for the people i can't fucking get away from to respect what i need so i don't break down#like sorry if that's too much for you but i;m also not a fucking pushover and have never been and i know that pisses her off but whatever#and like i know i'm not totally in the right i know i'm not nice and i can be a bitch and i'm unhelpful and nasty sometimes but i'd rather#be blamed for being unpleasant than only caring about myself because i want to feel safe and yeah i can admit that often i do only#care about myself but that's because i genuinely hate some of these ppl sometimes and why should i care? they suck idk vent over
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finalhaunts · 5 months
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Lesbian flag discourse set us back like 20 years for real
#.txt#its especially heinous to me bc like. the ppl who were against the old les flag won#and we got a new flag that actually has meanings and shit#but then everyone uses the design w less stripes that was /specifically made for merch/#bc ppl whined that too many stripes would make it more difficult for merch or whatever#so emily gwen made the vers w less stripes#THAT WASNT A FUCKING INVITE FOR EVERYONE TO JUST USE THAT ALL THE TIME THOUGH.#the stripes literally have meanings if you just yse the one w less stripes jts like completely stripping it of its symbolism#and even THEN people are STILL rallying to create yet ANOTHER 'official' flag bc emily gwen is a shithead or whatever#brother i dont think we are ever gonna have a flag creator that is completely and 100% a good person#you'd never hear an outcry like this with other flags--#(except maybe the blue gay man flag but even that relates back to lesbian discourse)#continuouslt making new 'official' flags because the older ones were problematic is a fucking futile endeavor#the only reason i use emily gwen's flag rather than the old one is because i dont wanna get harassed#I HATE FLAG DISCOURSE RAAAHHHHH it started with lesbians and it always ends with lesbians i hate it so much#just fucking leave queer women alone#i literally lived througj the les flag discourse myself and it pisses me off so much#update: i realize i got really heated and what i said abt the 5-stripe orangepink flag may be misinterpreted#there's nothing wrong with people using that variant its just kind of a personal peeve#because the 7 stripe flag had meanings added to every stripe#and hthe fact that the variant w some of those stripes Gone is more popular is well. it just annoys me
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swagyna · 8 months
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like. ok ik friends aren't gonna be perfect, we're gonna fight and disagree.
but im just so scared because i don't know if the one person i call my best friend rn is actually a good friend?
i've never had kind friends my entire life. they've always pushed my boundaries after i set them. it just wasn't until the last few years i made it a Point to cut them off when they do that.
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dramarants · 2 years
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going through the 20th century girl tag to move on and appreciate all the great moments only to find out ppl would rather yijin died than not end up with heedo
#20th century girl#twenty five twenty one#20th century girl spoilers#spoilers#maybe I'm in a weird mood but I can't scroll any more asldkfj#I get why ppl say the movie did it better: pacing + showing aftermath + believable#even though the sadder ending was a surprise they set us up for it and have proper closure to the characters#and while I still have some gripes (what happened to the brother how did woonho diedoes the squad not stay in touch where are they all now)#overall it was solid#but idk if 25 21 pulled a 'he died' I'd be so pissed - it's lazy and thoughtless and not marrying your first love is realistic#their final scenes together were soooo good it's just the reason for parting was unbelievable & present day scenes left us with more qs#but to be like 'yijin and heedo were soulmates and their breakup is unthinkable so...#'instead of growing and moving ahead after all his struggles to establish himself and support his family he should just DIE'#like this 20th c girl ending is so much more heartbreaking imo sldkfjasdlldgfkj#watching him smile at sunrise all hopeful for a future with you he'll never have 22 years later is SO MUCH WORSE#idk I'm glad bora is shown smiling and cherishing what they had rather than mourning (tho she has every right too) but it still doesn't...#...feel like closure to me. but there really is no good parting when it comes to death huh#show me people can treasure their youth and still find happiness and fulfillment in unexpected ways down the line!!#there's a beautiful piece of 90s nostalgia media still waiting in the wings for us I just know it#just don't know how much I can take my heart being ripped to shreds in the meantime 😅#ranting
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235uranium · 6 months
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every time the female character discourse happens i just sigh. the ppl critiquing fandom misogyny don't even like that interesting of women
#☢️.txt#if the women you like dont consist of 2 unethical mad scientists 1 war criminal/terrorist and 1 murdergirl dont even talk to me#about how much you love female characters lol#also im gonna be honest id rather people just ignore the women in fiction than go back to ye old fandom misogyny!#like damn with the men i like i have to spend hours getting mad about bad interpretations by their own fans!#with women i at least sleep soundly knowing the other liv ock fans agree shes unrepentantly evil and great for it <3#i had to watch the woobification of mukuro ikusaba with my own eyes once she finally got screentime and im STILL mad about it!#SHES A WAR CRIMINAL..... like not as a joke shes a canonical war criminal. shes a fucking school shooter. yeah she got horrifically abused#but ffs shes not. shes not nice????? thats the whole damn point??????? of IF??????#she didnt even CONSIDER challenging junko until she realized that junko WOULD kill her!#+ her remorse was solely about. helping junko? nothing to do with the whole#'literally a mercenary' thing. god.#dont get me started on kirigiri. the dangan ronpa fandom was NOT ready for her. yes ik shes in game one but they werent fucking ready!!!!!!#shes not ~reserved but nice~ she straight up tried to kill naegi.#she LITERALLY pulled the classic dangan ronpa murderboy move but noooo togamis the murderboy.#togamis not a fucking murderboy hes just a capitalist.#while kirigiri certainly isnt fucking with things to the extent of komaeda and ouma#she DOES set shit up and position herself as the person with actual answers#wheres the thing where kodaka says kirigiri is the actual hero of dr1 and naegi is the heroine#it also pisses me off bc ppl act like maki is the first time the dr main girl is somewhat hostile and. oh my god you all only care about#chiaki and the fantasy kirigiri who totally wanted to help naegi and wasnt just using him prior to trial 5#kirigiri isnt 'hostile' but she intentionally separates herself from the main group#also maki is a great character and you are all just mad#also reagan ridley ilu. you have absolutely nothing together and make the worst choices#brett hand is the Only reason reagan hasnt like. nuked something or started a zombie apocalyptic
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snoopyisbisexual · 1 year
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NGL my only friend at college is a rly bad friend and also has some unbearable flaws that I can't even address w her. but she is funny sometimes + I have nobody else
#she is a poli sci major who's obviously been told her whole life that she's smarter than everyone else around her#but she's a poli sci major + has literally defended public christmas only lights with ''ppl of other religions celebrate christmas''#she is literally a very ignorant white person but bc she's a hair less ignorant than everyone else where she's from#she thinks she's exempt despite saying mad classist + weird ass shit unprompted#she also never asks me about anything + only talks about herself + assumes random shit about me + treats me like I'm a baby#bc im not hooking up w ppl all the time. like just bc I'm not as out there as her doesn't mean I'm clueless#it genuinely doesn't feel like she's at all interested in me + just wants someone to talk to without engagement#and I'm kind of tired of it tbqh#me + the femme r on hiatus which is kind of hard bc she's one of like the few ppl in my life rn who i feel like actually enjoys +#understands who i am + is invested in me personally but im not abt to be like. can we resume the relationship you're not prepared for so i#can feel wanted by someone like that's literally insane#also super selfish#but im hanging out w heaven tomorrow+ forgot to take my meds so it's probably fine#but also whenever my meds lapse i get kind of pissed off about this friend so idk#part of my problem is that im not talkative that much bc im autistic so im either super verbal or just thinkin'#but tbh I'd rather have silence than to feel like my voice is only 5% of the conversation does that make sense#but maybe im being unreasonable idk#also she actively prevents me from hanging out w her other friends + im kind of tired of being ostracized on behalf of ppl#who otherwise like me ?? like im acquaintances w her friends but she like. will not hang out w me + them#like i feel like thats wild behavior esp bc she knows i want to ? like i want to party but she's always like#''oh i just thought you wouldn't lke it'' which likr. why tf did you decide for me ??#she always does this + never asks me like. ''lh i thought it would be weird to bring you'' but you brought your roommate who literally met#thrm last month + I've known them since last year + we literally had classes together ?????#smth fishy af going on
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tariah23 · 9 months
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I can’t wait to start estie school wha
#I’ll have to learn how to do all sorts of shit but working alongside them while I was at the spa made me super interested#the only thing is that the estheticians weren’t getting booked as much as the nail techs and massage therapists (only busy on the weekends)#while they’d come in for one client or 2 on other days and would be pissed off because the client wanted like a brow wax instead of a#facial (waxes are like nothing on a check)#while the nail techs and therapists (especially the lmt’s) were making way more because of course#most ppl would rather get a massage or their nails done or whatever over a facial depending#I also learned that a lot of ppl tend to get facials early in the morning because they didn’t want to wash their face after waking up🗿……#(white clients) and of course they’re dirty as hell as always#what’s the point…#well anyway#I feel like I’d make more money working at a place that specializes in things specially estie centric#because otherwise I’d be waiting around for a client without getting booked at at a spa that does everything#I was just doing maintenance by my checks were always way more than the esties 🗿… they shit would be like $500 and I’d feel so bad#but at the spa the work was commissioned based so they literally would come in and sit around for hours for one client and not be getting#paid#this was for the therapists and nail techs as well but they could get some hourly pay by working with my department/ helping out when they’d#have downtime#but tbh#that was so shitty like you have to do Manuel hard labor shit just to get a couple of extra bucks on your check because of the managers#being unprofessional and changing the books around because of favoritism and shit#so annoying#well anyway I still want to get my#esthetician license and prob get certified in a couple of other things as well like tattoo removal and other stuff#I’d have to learn how to wax and so on (I don’t care to do makeup I don’t even do my own)#rambling#the only ppl who were making hourly were the concierges and my department and it wasn’t even that much but I liked my job anyway only be of#my coworkers. the managers and annoying entitled clients always kind of ruined the atmosphere though and everyone would always be so#stressed out and pissed off despite us all working in a spa like this is a place for relaxation but I guess that never applied to the#workers being treated like trash#just as long as we catered to the annoying white ppl coming in and spending a couple of racks
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moomeecore · 2 years
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Lol why do you defend bpd Seek help fr
bpd?? like. like borderline personality disorder? like, the mental disorder? that people have??? "defend bpd"???? DEFEND it?? from what??? abelism??? misinformation?? this ask is kinda mind boggling dude. like wow.
just so u know i am getting help for my multiple mental disorders :) that i have. ik that's not what u meant by "seeking help" but what does that rlly reflect other than ur lack of knowledge on mental health issues? wow i definetly trust you to be super educated on mental disorders considering you used "seek help" as an insult. ur rlly winning me over here.
here's a genuine question for you: have you tried seeking... i don't know... a reputable source on bpd? information on what it actually is, what it actually means to have bpd? or is ur only source of information that's led you to this conclusion.. reddit posts, listsicles abt "how to spot a borderline/narcissist/sociopath uwu" & ur own personal conclusions made from meeting one person w bpd one time ever.
#god i hate ppl like this#and the nerve to swnd an ask abt it. thats so PATHETIC LMAO#u care that much??? u r THAT dedicated to actively hating ppl w a certain mental disorder??#..and u think IM the one who should 'seek help'??#pls try reflecting a little bit. what got u to the point where u#(and ik u did this bc i dont think ive ever said anything else abt bpd)#u saw my comment sympathising w someone w bpd who got a rlly horrible disrespectful ask talking abt how 'evil' ppl w bpd are#CLICKED on my profile. and sent me this ask#ur short sentences and use of lol dont fool me. you are WAY TOO invested and u need to find something else to do w ur life#smthn that dosent hurt ppl! that dossnt spread misinfo or make ppl feel bad or encourage stigma!! maybe try doing a little reaserch paper#on bpd where u make sure to check the credibility of ur sources rather than looking at listicles like 'top 10 signs u know a NARCISSIST!!!#or if that sounds like too much work 4 you ..u could try minding ur FUCKING buisness . log off tumblr & try like#knitting or smthn. idk man. pick up a hobby please. for ur own saks#and for the sake of all the ppl w bpd out there who ur mercilessly treating like shit in order to put urself on a moral pedestal#bc ud rather pick & choose to beleive the 'easy' perception of life where ppl can be diagnosed with Bad Person and u get to feel better#than them .... than educate urself on the real world & accept the reality that things r more nuanced & complexed than that#(this ask didnt actually piss me off as much as it may seem. its p tame. i just have been complaning abt this sort of thing latley#and jumped at the bit to ruthlessly tear apart someone w these sort of beleifs. like u came to me dude lol. thanks for the free invite to#go feral lmaoo)#text
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stargarland · 1 year
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had no time to worry abt new people not liking me bc the second practice of today was so intense i was more concerned with the fact i was busy seeing god 😌🤞
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543634 · 2 years
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my mom came in my room and started talking about mostly random stuff, but then she mentioned trans ppl and how there is this one person that got gender affirming surgery in england and how theyre now suing the medical system because they regret getting that surgery and my mom then said how you should be atleast 27 to be able to get those surgeries and then she talked about a trans woman who is the daughter of a friend of my grandma (also she is probably the only trans person who is out my mom ever had contact with) and misgendered her the whole damn time, she said ‘he lives as a woman now’ and damn that whole convo really hurt. made me feel like shit 👍
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saturnsuv · 1 year
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im going to commit a violence
#my mom has covid and she’s had covid for like a week now and i just texted her asking how she was doing and she said she still doesnt feel#well and her chest has been hurting. she said she tried to go to her doctor but when she said she had chest pain her doctor told her to go#to the hospital. naturally she’s not doing that and said she’s just going to ‘wait until it goes away’#and then she said she would see me saturday for my brother’s birthday dinner which we were planning to have in a public restaurant. so if#my mom is planning on showing up to a public restaurant still sick with covid then i am not going to fucking be there like sorry to my#brother but we can hang out another time. anyway i am just so fucking pissed off that ppl treat covid like this#last weekend my mom considered bringing my sister with multiple health issues home from her group home for the weekend like normal. except#she fucking has covid. and she was still thinking of doing this#like why would you fucking do that what if my sister got covid what if she brought it back to the entire group home of individuals with#health complications#she didnt actually bring her home but its the same principle going into a public space. what about the people there will health issues or#who have relatives and friends with health issues#im going to call my brother and tell him im not going if our mom is and i told our sister about it too so im sure my mom will get pissy at#me about it but i’d rather deal with her being irritating than having covid so#sam speaks
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dukeofthomas · 9 days
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Why Jason Todd doesn't believe in Batman's idea of ''justice'', or his way of doing things.
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Hey just a note to ppl who feel like following me since there’s been an uptick, but if you have legit Nothing reblogged on your account and no description saying “this is an alt!” or “I don’t reblog!” I am Blocking You
This is not me being mean. I’m trying to keep bots away from me and my account and I honestly don’t like ghost accounts following me. It feels weird and I you will be yote from my follow list unless we are mutuals or you disclose to me/the public who you are.
If you wanna appeal a block you can ask on your behalf from another account since I leave my DMs open, but understand that sort of thing makes me wildly uncomfortable and I may just ask you not to interact with me or my posts here.
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bixiaoshi · 2 years
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"you seem sad" hm i wonder why is that
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auckie · 1 month
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I think the things that offend me most nowadays in like, smaller interpersonal interactions rather than grand, sweeping trends in culture, are when people chose to not partake in a wide set of things. Like musical close mindedness, or refusal to try different foods from different cultures. Not watching an entire subset of films bc they’re ‘french’. Avoiding reading bc you say you have adhd and it’s too hard. Like dude I get it, I’m busy. I can be picky. Everyone can. But the willful ignorance of closing yourself off to those VAST portions of the human experience, and not having curiosity and a lust to learn and explore art that was made by someone worlds apart from you either in terms of their culture, era, whatever. I dunno man it just pisses me off so bad. I think it’s arrogant. Like oh you’re comfortable in your safe little bubble huh? And you’re enforcing its barriers with the excuse that you’re autistic and have sensory issues. With music made by black people?? lol okay. It is pretty presumptuous for me to assume malicious intent but I think those prejudices are borne from either the comfort of being someone who’s wealthy and probably white not feeling the need to learn past what they think is enough, or it’s a reflection of a society that’s taught you to prioritize what it shills— popular, current (white, depending where you live ig) artists who are making streamlined, easy to digest content. Often when I meet people with these issues they’ll have one particular ‘niche’, and it tends to be like. 70s music. Victorian literature. Anime and Japanese games. But they’re still not really investing beyond the media presented. Like there’s so much more to Japanese culture than liking some cartoons put out between 2010-2020. You don’t gotta become some sorta Einstein who learns the background of every little freak in FGO yeah. But don’t you wanna aim higher? Aren’t you interested in any of the historical figures? And nothings wrong with hopping onto a trend. You read Dracula bc of that Dracula daily thing. Cool! Read more. Some people will say they’re chronically ill or disabled and can’t get outside. That’s okay. The internet is full of things you can read other than fanfiction, YouTube has a shit ton of free music. There’s Wikipedia and free articles online if you have questions about things. Yeah nobody is spending four hours a day looking at the national archives website and studying art history but it’s imbued in the things around you, and youll absorb it ambiently as you go along. you dont have to be a jack of all trades and cover every major genre of every major medium, but it never hurts to try! I really love seeing ppl ask too. Bc it can be kind of humiliating to admit to what seems like some jackass hipster that you’ve never delved into, idk, Serbian films (lol not that one). And hopefully if whoever you’re asking will give you honest good recommendations and not berate you. I’m kind of berate a straw man rn I guess. The hostile tone def doesn’t lend to an atmosphere of sharing but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve rbed anything involving specifically jazz only to see someone rb and add the stupidest comment on the post, or in the tags, or go into my inbox to be like waaah I don’t like jazz bc it’s boring and old and for pretentious hypocrites who hate neurodivergent people! Like what are you TALKING about. Fine if you don’t like it but don’t try and rationalize that as a moral standing you shit lark. And just as they’re allowed to dislike jazz I’m allowed to not really enjoy people who don’t like jazz. Or country. Nautical knots. Knit wear. Watching urbex YouTubers get their shit rocked by squatters. Korean food. Pachuco fashion and stupid ugly low riders. Bollywood films. and they don’t want to try any of those things either yknow? The next thing I’m getting into is circuit bending.
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portraitofadyke · 2 months
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what's been bugging me is how some people, especially steddyhands shippers, seem to ignore Stede's complete blind spot that is Ed. I've been rereading some post s1 fix-its, and it's amazing how almost every one of their reunions had Stede blaming Ed for marooning the crew and attempting to kill Lucius (same with ppl's expectation that there would be some sort of physical fight). And then he just. Doesn't.
Stede obviously cares for the crew. A lot. But the moment Ed's well being is in the picture, he becomes hyperfocused on Ed and Ed only. Obviously the crew told him about being marooned, but we don't see him mention that once in his letters. They reunite with Lucius, and yet all Stede talks about is Ed (and his poor portrayal on his wanted posters)- Lucius confesses about Ed throwing him overboard, and all Stede does is question 'why?', because he knows Ed wouldn't just randomly attempt to murder Lucius. The moment Lucius tells him Stede broke Ed, Stede is back to blaming himself, never Ed. He clearly cares about Lucius, because later in the ep, he tries to reconcile with him by giving him 'dating advice' and trying to save him from what happened to him and Ed, but Ed comes first.
We actually see it in s1 too, if only briefly, in s7 when Stede desperately tries to keep Ed abroad and becomes oblivious to the crew's concerns and problems and we get the iconic line "Eat and apple, for God's sake!" Stede cares, but Ed is at the front of his mind and it's hard for him to understand what could be more important.
In s02e03, he gets his ship and the rest of his crew back, but Ed is nowhere. Izzy is literally missing a leg and Stede just tells him to piss off.
And I've seen people questioning why Stede never questioned that, why he never bothered to ask about Izzy's missing toe or back scars or why he didn't care about the leg more. Izzy clearly lies again and tells Stede Ed shot it off because he told Ed he loves him, and yet stede just. Doesn't care.
And i mean, that question is valid. Because people see Stede as someone who's much more caring, more hero-coded. But Stede is far more a romantic hero to Ed than he is your general hero to the rest of the characters. Stede is selfish. Stede is blind-sided. Stede is willing to abandon his morals when it comes to Ed.
I think there are two reasons Stede doesn't question Izzy's Ed-inflicted-injuries, or any other, for that matter. First one is, Stede's blind spot for Ed. Yeah, Izzy got his leg shot off by Ed (not entirely true, but I digress), but there must have been a reason why. Yeah, Izzy got his toes cut off and hand-fed, but Ed had a reason. Stede knows Ed is not violent by default, so he knows something must have prompted him to do that. Is it completely justified? That's a differenr convo about people trying to portray Izzy as a victim rather than someone who kept pushing Ed over the edge until they were both too far.
The second is... Yeah, Stede just doesn't care. Especially about Izzy. Lie it's been pointed out, Stede just thinks izzy is a dick. He misnames him. He's rightuflly mad at him for selling them out to the english. He literally dreams about killing Izzy for that. Stede blames himself for abandoning Ed and everything that happened after (and yes, Ed's actions are Ed's actions, but that's how Stede sees it), but he clearly also blames Izzy for setting them up.
So, Stede sees Izzy's missing leg? Probably deserved that. Back scars, missing toe? Eh, probably deserved that, too, Ed would look absolutely lovely in a braid. Is that morally correct? No, but Stede isn't written to be a moral character. That's what makes him so real, and that's why so many other actors than Rhys would struggle making Stede sympathetic and likeable to the audiences.
That's not to say Stede doesn't see Ed's wrongs. He absolutely does. He just. Doesn't care that much in the end, because his love for all of Ed is that bright, to the point of being absolutely, utterly selfish. DJenkins said it from the beginning; this show is about Ed and Stede's relationship. Stede doesn't question Izzy's injuries bc in the end, it just doesn't matter to him when Ed is in the picture
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