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sakkiichi · 1 year

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HERE COMES THE SUN.

They comfort you while you’re having a difficult time.

ft. Childe, Lyney, Albedo, Shikanoin Heizou x gn! reader.

cw/genre: hurt/comfort.

for my dear @https-furina I know you’ve been going through trying times lately, so I hope this can comfort you a little <3 I also struggled a lot with Heizou’s part, so I apologize if it’s no good at all…

if you enjoy this, reblogs and comments help more than likes !

✧ CHILDE

Linen sheets feel like ropes on raw skin against the morning chill.

Its warm cream color, ashen, nothing like the mirror sunrises you were used to witnessing right after you opened your eyes.

What’s the point in opening them anymore? You wonder.

You bury your face against the pillows. In any other occasion, you would have been grateful for the coolness of its silk.

Now it’s just an iceberg. Like a missing shard of your shallow beating heart.

“Someone’s sleepy today.” A familiarly perky voice greets, the mattress dipping slightly with new weight.

You rolling in the other direction is all the greeting that meets him.

“Hey, love! It’s time to wake up!” Childe chuckles, his hand gently shaking your body.

Yet something already tells him this is not right; you usually would have already shoved him away by now.

But today you’re just… unresponsive…

The dull oceans of his stare rise in dangerous waves at your state.

Hesitant, he calls your name, his tone more like a question.

And this time, he does get an answer.

Familiar arms he adores wrapped around him loop around his middle, your face burying against his chest.

You’re warm, yet you feel so… faraway… as if the pain of past memories was seeping out your light.

Ajax is no stranger to the despair palpable in your strong grip around him, he’s endured it himself, through years robbed of him by an abyss that turned him into a master of all weapons.

So because he’s known the cold of endless nights where all he had was a tattered red scarf to remember the warmth of a distant home, he now holds you.

And for someone whose hands were tainted in the filth and bloodshed of a lifetime of slaughter, Ajax is undeniably gentle.

His fingertips ghost over your skin, easing the burning anguish of bed covers that felt too rough, too suffocating, too wrong.

When your lover’s hands get lost in your hair, combing it, you swear sun rays filter through the deep sea you’re falling through.

And then, suddenly, the choice to swim upwards presents before you, scarred sun-kissed hands extended towards you.

You take them.

When you open your eyes, russet sunsets and constellations over your beloved’s skin greet you.

His lips find yours, a bit chapped but gentle; not his usual playfulness, but soothing aquamarine waves.

You swear Childe’s kiss tastes salty. And that’s when you realize the dry tear-tracks down your cheeks.

He made them dry, sunlight evaporating puddles after grey days.

You break the surface, the waters now turquoise beneath Ajax’s light.

He won’t let you sink again.

✧ LYNEY

A whole audience’s cheers fill the Opera Epiclese. Lights shine upon every smiling face, every vigourous clap of hands after the magician’s grand finale echoing through the theater.

However, the illusionist’s gaze of amethyst is focused on the sole grim expression amongst millions of joyous others.

Yours.

Your hands move, clapping together, as if automated; your eyes stare at everything, seeing nothing; your mouth is a taut line, your lips devoid of their usual vibrant tint.

Lyney doesn’t like that being his last memory before the curtain closes.

When you step out of the Opera House, an infinity of starfields is abloom across the crepuscular skies.

What a mockery; a cruel jinx on display, for you to see the unfulfilled sparks dimming inside your heart.

A sigh escapes your dry lips, a small cloud forming when it meets the late night chill.

“You’ll catch a cold there, mon coeur,” Someone you know, tricks and all, utters behind you.

Welcome warmth tinted in lavender envelops you the instant your eyes meet the magician’s starry ones.

A small smile tugs at your lips, the curse of melancholy still clinging to you through it.

“Lyney…” You start. The twilit breeze picks up around you, your arms instinctively wrapping around yourself for some semblance of a warmth you haven’t felt in days.

“That won’t do, ma chérie.” Your lover chuckles.

Then, with a wave of his hand, a piece of the night sky itself seems to become tangible in his grasp.

“Here,” he offers, draping it over your shoulders.

Upon closer inspection, you realize it’s a shawl; the cloth feels delicate to the touch, quite fine too, and yet, you feel the warmth of a thousand suns. If you had to describe its color you would come up empty. Silver glitter seems to be embedded in the fabric, but at the same time, it looks like multiple tiny lights had been stitched to the material. You suppose you’d call the hue, dark; a myriad of indigoes merge into violets, threaded together with navies and cobalts. And yet, when you move it, the colors seem to shift, almost like the clouds drifting across this midnight.

“I take it you liked it.” Lyney smiles, softer than his usual cheshire-like grins, when he observes your wonderstruck features.

“Very…” You muse, awestruck at the magical silk.

“It’s a châle de ciel,” your beloved explains, “It will change depending on the state of the sky at each time of day.” He pauses, eyes, the color of lumidouce bells and rainbow rose petals merged, glinting as he admires how the garment fits you. “But I can guarantee,” your illusionist steps closer to you, plucking something out of your hair. ��That it will always keep you comfortable… warm or cool, whatever you need.” He finishes, handing you a pluie lotus.

You take a few seconds to appreciate the second gift of the night. The flower’s petals are the same color as Lyney’s eyes, yet not as vivacious.

“Shall we go, mon amour?” Your boyfriend inquires, already offering your arm to him.

Together, you leave the opera house behind.

You hope for light blues on your new cape tomorrow morning. And somehow, you know that’s what you’ll find.

You squeeze Lyney’s arm gently. The sun will rise soon.

✧ ALBEDO

When he sets foot on his camp in Dragonspine, Albedo finds the heater already on.

Strange.

The sun hasn’t even quite awoken yet, the snowy peaks outlined against skies still clinging to dreamless cloudy nights; shards of ice, embedded in the softness of dawn clouds. An accurate representation of the region of freedom’s snowy mountains: menacingly beautiful, brimming with lethal charm, for one step in the wrong direction, and the cold might as well consume you for good.

At this hour, no one was ever already working at his lab, making of these moments calm sunrise-tinted memories in the alchemist’s mind, before the day’s hustle and bustle began.

However, today, the running heater is not the only out of the ordinary salutation to greet the chalk prince.

The acute sounds of clicking vials, books being rearranged and crunching snow are confirmation enough that he is, indeed, not alone.

With silent steps, Albedo advances, keeping one hand hovering over his trusty sword. Then, he finally lays eyes upon the cause for the commotion, and despite the lack of danger, the sight doesn’t calm him any better.

“My dearest?” He calls. The instant your gaze meets his, your condition scares him more than any bandits ransacking his research material. Your hair is messy, falling on your face; dark circles are etched beneath your lower lashline, darkness clinging to you like remnants of turbulent nights; and you’re shivering, whether from the cold or because you’re distempered he can’t quite discern, although it’s most likely due to both.

“Hello, ‘Bedo…” You mutter, the flesh of your lips bitten, flecks of Dragonspine’s freeze coating them, the cold lacing with your bones, chilling you to the core. Your eyes widen when you notice your lover’s teal gaze scrutinizing you. You quickly busy yourself with classifying some potions, by color and texture, whatever takes the longest for him not to worry about your less than ideal condition.

However, perhaps you underestimated his attention to detail; for he has a skilled artist, after all.

“My love, are you feeling alright?” He questions, gloved hands gently taking the crystal vial-filled wooden box you were carrying off your trembling hold.

And in that instant, you don’t know if it’s the warmth of your prince’s hands on yours; or the comfort of his voice, like honey on bitter tea, but you find yourself taking a deep breath, the fresh air of a midwinter’s sunrise filling your lungs.

And then you talk. You spill every worry and bad dream, your shadows opening up to the gilded starlight of him.

And through it all, the alchemist’s hands warm yours, fingers interlocked, very much in the way your souls are undeniably so too.

Because no matter how daunting the river seemed when you faced it alone, when you were with Albedo, its typhoons calmed down, stone bridges and his outstretched hand painting safety and comfort in hues of gold before your eyes.

While the kreideprinz grounds you, the sun reaches its peak, a canvas of aureate and cornflower blue grazing the mountaintops.

You would be okay.

✧ SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

Emerald eyes read through you as if you were made of clear glass.

The way you worry your lower lip between your teeth; your fingers almost going white at the knuckles as you clutch a pencil, its wood creaking in your grip; and the general absentminded state you’re in, papers scattered over your desk, several case files stacked in disarray.

Something is clearly weighting on your mind.

“I think a break’s in order, wouldn't you agree, sweetheart?” Heizou suggests, standing up, those striking eyes of his fixed on you.

The detective’s voice is enough to stop the quickening clock ticking in your mind, regrets and dark spirals momentarily coming to a halt.

When you rise your furrowed brow, shades of maroon and viridian flood your sight, vivid as summer and warming your up just as much.

Nodding, you stand up too, limbs feeling heavy despite the comfort of your lover beside you.

The brown shades of your office turn into blue skies and soft pink sakuras not long after, the scented tree branches swaying above you, like fragments of dreams someone had given up on, waiting to be picked up by another soul who dared to imagine.

Your back rests against your lover’s lean but strong torso, the sweet smelling breeze combing through your hair, as Heizou’s chin rests on your shoulder.

“So will you tell me what’s wrong, darling?” Are the words of his that break the birdsong-filled calm.

A pang settles on your chest, you didn’t want to take away that cheeky grin that most of the time decorated his quick-witted lips.

“I…” You hesitate. “Well, it’s- it’s complicated, Heizou…” Your lids flutter closed, a shaky breath raking through you, as you turn around in his embrace, your hands bracing on his shoulders. “I don’t want to bring the mood down, you know…”

The detective places a thumb on your lower lip, smoothing over the bite marks you left there earlier.

“You never, ever, bring the mood down, dear. Never.” He leans in, brushing a soft kiss over your forehead. “My intuition told me right away there was something up.” He takes a stray cherry blossom petal from your hair. “So, why don’t we take the rest of the day off, love?” Your partner proposes, as he takes your chin in between his fingers, mischief flashing in his features.

And perhaps your lover’s smile was more infectious than you had ever given it credit for; and maybe the way he flashes his green eyes at you has your heart trembling in ways that have nothing to do with the fear and guilt you’ve been festering, but you find yourself retorting back, with a grin of your own:

“Don’t you have cases to solve, detective Shikanoin?”

This time, he takes a full sakura flower, delicately placing it behind your ear.

“I have something more important to solve right here…” He smirks, cheekily, as he admires your now flustered expression.

When you lean the side of your head against his chest, he cradles it with one of his hands, the other playing with the ends of your hair.

It would be unfair, if gloom were to take your soul captive when spring seems to linger through Inazuma’s breeze.

With a last look at you, the detective’s maroon lashes flutter closed too. He hopes, at least for today, he managed to protect precious you from the crimes of cruel sorrow.

He leans his head on top of yours.

The case is solved.

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stamp-it-to-me · 2 months

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a 1977 Kenyan stamp from a series on minerals

[ID: a postage stamp with a highly realistic illustration of three samples of aquamarine, a pale blue crystal. the sample on the left is in a tall multifaceted shape. there are a few golden spots here and there around the edges, possibly imperfections in the stone. the middle sample is the largest and features aquamarine in its raw state. the right sample has been cut into a multifaceted teardrop. the minerals have been labelled "aquamarine". the face value of this stamp is 3 Kenyan shilling. end ID]

#snail mail #stamps #postal #postage #kenya #minerals #crystals #aquamarine #mod fave

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alwaysbelieveinmiraclesuk · 2 years

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6th January 2023 🌕🐺♋️✨

Our first full moon to 2023 is the Wolf Moon, named after howling wolves after Yule in the Anglo-Saxon tradition.

This Full moon will make every sign in the zodiac want to listen to their emotional needs, instead of neglecting them. Pay attention to what is happening around you. Stay aligned, centred and please remember we are still in Mercury Retrograde until 18th January, so no rush decisions! January is a time to take stock, reflect of the last year and reevaluate. I always feel the new year starts on 1st February!

Wolf moon is a time for clearing, cleansing and letting go of 2022 and any old patterns or things that is still around you. A good time for journaling and taking note of your dreams and goals.

Cleanse your crystals. Leave your crystals out in the moon, if you wish or you can place them on a window seal in selenite bowl. If you do put them outside, make sure you give them some good time to clear all the negativity of the last year.

Use this wolf moon to release the old patterns and start a new direction.

You have the next 360 days to make 2023 a year to remember 💪💛✨

You got this! 🫶💫

Crystals to use this Wolf Full moon in Cancer ♋️

Aquamarine – cleanse and release 2022. Releasing anything that restrains you from being you.

Rhodochrosite – New Year resolutions – Send love and forgiveness 🌸

Amber – Problem solving, use this full moon energy to help with creating the way out 💛

Emerald – Sympathetic and listening with your heart 💚

Rainbow Moonstone – Use for reflection and new beginnings.

#fullmoon #wolfmoon #6thjanuary #fullmoonrelease #fullmoon🌕 #fridaynight #wolf #wolfmoon #yule #tradition #newyear #reflection #timeout #mercuryretrograde #newyear2023 #newgoals #releaseoldpatterns #bringinthenewyear #light #love #happiness #crystalshop #crystalshopping #align #purpose #calling #higherself #letsdothis #2023

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inkykeiji · 6 months

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⋆₊˚⊹♡ vox + cum

character: vox warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, snowballing (cum eating), cum play, a hint of implied blood, fem!reader words: 735

when vox cums, he cums in thick dollops of teal cream.

when vox cums, he cums so much that it oozes out of your hole—past the tight seal of his shaft, cock still buried deep inside of you, to trickle down your thighs and ass in the prettiest streaks of shimmering streams, staining your skin in strokes of him.

when vox cums, he forces you to stay fucking put while he watches, eyes glowing with a bright voracity, as it dries to a hard glaze, large hands wrapped around your thighs so tightly his claws pierce your flesh—cute little pricks that weep thin ribbons of scarlet—legs folded to your chest and knees nudging your chin, muscles gone stiff and achy from being held in one position for so long.

when vox cums, you beg him to feed it to you; sweet stringy whines that drip in a steady stream of drool from your raw lips, precious pleads that have him wedging his large head between your thighs and impelling them to spread wider, your muscles trembling beneath the strain. his long tongue unfurls from his mouth, slow and steady, drizzling buzzing webs of glimmering saliva across the intimate flesh at the apex of your legs.

he appreciates the calculated mess for a breath before he finally shoves his tongue inside your cunt, massive muscle extending to brush against your cervix with a sweet kitten lick, eliciting a squeal mangled by a giggle, hips squirming beneath his grasp. a growl vibrates against your hole—a wordless warning to hold still, to be good—tongue held motionless for a moment, tip pressed snugly to the sensitive mound of tissue as he waits for you to obey (which, you do, instantly, because of course you do).

he takes his time with it, meticulous as he is with all things in his life, his tongue diligent and careful as it delves into your cunt, hooked and hungry. it wiggles, rubs, scours and then curls, skillfully scooping the substance from your body, cum cupped in his tongue like it’s fucking precious.

then he’s giving you what you want, tongue busting past your lips and into your mouth, dragging along your own and depositing his cum in thick strokes. he takes a moment to admire it on your tongue—vibrant cyan, glowing gently against slick pink—before he allows you to swallow it, gaze heavy as your throat bobs with the dense gulp.

when vox cums, he kisses you with such ferocious vigour that his screen bruises your nose, glass pressed hard against your face, fingers hooked behind the hinges of your jaw keeping you still, keeping you trapped, his tongue popping with tiny glints of electricity as it stuffs your throat full, spilling growls and grunts and airy little moans into your mouth.

when vox cums, his spit cracks and fizzles with sparks of energy, little jolts that seep into those tangles of thin vessels beneath your tongue and zip through your veins, leaving your blood frothing and humming for more, your eager mouth siphoning more of the viscous saliva onto your tongue as it twines around his own and sucks it clean. a responding chuckle flows into your mouth, vox mumbling out an affectionate so greedy against your lips, his tongue still tied up in your own.

when vox cums, he cums fucking hard, bolts juddering through his body as his hips slow to an uneven stutter and then finally still. electric aftershocks ripple his skin as his moans hitch viciously in his chest, stammering in time with the blocky distortions glitching on his face, fragment pixels clashing against one another, splintering into different colours.

when vox cums, it looks so fucking pretty splattered across his navy skin—art created by your conjoined pleasure, crystal aquamarine smattering smooth planes of sleek muscle gliding gently beneath his skin with each of his ragged breaths, with every tense of his stomach as another silky rope stains his flesh, a perfect contrast. and he can’t help but laugh when you ask, oh-so-obediently, if you can lick it up, gazing at him with twinkling eyes, the melody soft and tender on his tongue as his thumb skims across your cheek—along the curve then tracing the edge of your jaw, glowing eyes dimmed and leaden with love as they follow the trajectory of his touch, murmuring out a syrupy of course you can, sweetheart.

#vox x reader #vox smut #vox x you #vox x y/n #vox headcanons #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x reader #inky.vox #inky.hazbin

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themodernwitchsguide · 2 months

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altars for nordic gods

keep in mind that altars like these have very little historical backing, and this information is mostly for the use of the modern pagan. also pretty much every god can be honored with offerings of meat, mead, wine, and your own blood.

ODIN

Colors: grey/silver for justice; deep blue, black for magic; red for war

Offerings: nine sacred herbs (chamomile, nettle, fennel, crab apple, mugwort, plantain, watercress, chervil, betony), runes, food for ravens, poetry

Crystals: sodalite, lapis lazuli, amethyst, lepidolite, obsidian, labradorite

Animals: his ravens (Huginn and Muninn), his wolves (Geri and Freki)

THOR

Colors: yellow, white, grey for thunderstorms; red for war; blue for the sky

Offerings: rainwater, hawthorn, oak, garlic, onion, hearty meals

Crystals: fulgarite, blue quartz/calcite, yellow jasper, sodalite, obsidian, hematite

Animals: goats

LOKI

Colors: black, green for mischief; yellow/gold for wealth; red, orange when he is combined with Logi

Offerings: yellow rattle, birch, mistletoe, snake shed, cinnamon, dandelion, coins/money

Crystals: labradorite, jade, malachite, pyrite, citrine, bloodstone, gemstones, serpentine

Animals: birds, horses, snakes, foxes

TYR

Colors: dark blue, silver/grey for justice; red for war

Offerings: holly, mustard seed, bread, oak, ash, good deeds are especially emphasized with Tyr

Crystals: lapis lazuli, sapphire, red jasper, bloodstone, obsidian, hematite

Animals: wolf, dog, bear, eagle

BALDR

Colors: gold/yellow, white for opulence; sky blue, pink for beauty

Offerings: chamomile, daisies, white blossoms, honey, juniper berries, laurel leaves, sunflower

Crystals: sunstone, celestite, selenite, pearl, rose quartz, pyrite, milky quartz

Animals: foal

FRIGG

Colors: blue, silver/grey, white for the moon; yellow/gold for opulence

Offerings: cardamom, allspice, sweet wines, milk, handspun fiber, feathers, moss

Crystals: moonstone, selenite, celestite, pyrite, milky quartz, rose quartz, agates

Animals: falcons, hawks, geese

HELA

Colors: red, orange, black for the underworld; white, grey for the dead

Offerings: white flowers, apples, willow, dark chocolate, coffee beans, mushrooms, clove--leave food until rotten

Crystals: bloodstone, jet, onyx, obsidian, black tourmaline, volcanic stone, red jasper, hematite

Animals: owl, raven, dog, wolf

FREYJA

Colors: red, pink, white for love; green, brown for nature; gold/yellow for her cape; purple, dark blue for magic

Offerings: jasmine, rose, verbena, collecting cat whiskers, honeycomb, fruit, fresh flowers, chocolate

Crystals: amber, petrified wood, agates, garnet/ruby, pyrite, lapis lazuli, rose quartz, emerald, jade, tiger's eye, cat's eye, amethyst

Animals: cats, pigs, horses, falcons

FREYR

Colors: green, brown for nature; yellow/gold for sunshine

Offerings: grain, apples, bread, nuts/seeds, venison, anything phallic, antlers, birch, hawthorn, coins/money

Crystals: green aventurine, agates, petrified wood, jaspers, jade, citrine, zoisite, pyrite

Animals: deer/stag, boar, horse, bee

NJORD

Colors: white, blues for the sea

Offerings: fish, sea salt, shells, beads, tobacco, fishing gear

Crystals: aquamarine, larimar, gemstones, pearls, malachite, sodalite, azurite, iolite

Animals: seabirds, sea mammals

SKADI

Colors: white, light blue for winter; brown for the hunt

Offerings: raw meat, berries, nuts, clear liquors, pelts, antlers

Crystals: milky quartz, bloodstone, blue calcite, chalcedony, jaspers

Animals: arctic fox

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theaquamarinearchives · 5 months

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[ the frontlines ― gepard ] "if only you saw things the way i see things, perhaps this situation would be different." cw. fluff, slightly hurt/comfort, childhood friends to lovers, gepard being naive and not noticing reader's crush, use of y/n, includes an argument // 2.6k words

aquamarine's findings. this was the first time i ever wrote for gepard !! this is a repost from my old blog since i'm moving all my works over onto this blog !!

the snow is less than comforting for the captain of the silvermane guards. GEPARD is no stranger to it though. he is undeniably used to the raw chill of the eternal freeze, his nose flushed a subtle hue of red to match his cheeks. snowflakes catch on his eyelashes and despite his attempts, his teeth still chatter when none of his subordinates are looking.

after all, it'd be awkward for them to see their captain struggling so nonchalantly with the cold, wouldn't it? as a landau, he couldn't bear to even consider the thought of being humiliated like that. he could handle the cold just fine, as long as he kept telling himself that then it'd be the only truth jarilo-vi would know.

except it wouldn't be the only truth. gepard knows that very well when his eyes meet yours over a cup of coffee at the goethe hotel in the administrative district. he's here on behalf of the supreme guardian doubling security for an event but he can't pass up a chance to see his childhood friend, no way.

you're not dumb - you most certainly have never been in his eyes - and you're one of his longest friends, hailing from another noble family in belobog. gepard faintly remembers you tinkering with mechanisms with his older sister as a young child and even more so the secret adventures you'd take lynx on while she was still a toddler - ones you thought nobody knew about. you were fairly convinced you'd been sneaky enough but at that age, lynx couldn't keep a secret to save her life.

you've drank in the way he reacts to the cold so much over the past years, it almost humours you that he's never truly adapted to it. you were born during this eternal freeze and it's all you've ever known but even underneath all his armour and layers, gepard hates it. he spends almost every waking second of his day in the cold, watching snowflakes dance through the air in an alluring dance that mesmerises him when he gets a five minute break from his duties.

"maybe i should buy you a scarf," you chide as you raise the steaming hot mug to your lips, sipping at the liquid that warms your body. gepard notes that your lips have always been soft despite the harsh cold, you've always taken care of them well, "there's enough skin showing on your neck to please a vampire."

gepard scoffs at your words, rolling his eyes as he leans back in the chair nonchalantly. his upper arms rest on the arms of the chair, one of his legs stretched out under the table as he finally relaxes a little; even if it's just for a moment. your presence has always had that effect on him. he's not the captain of the silvermane guards when he's with you - he's just gepard, that's all he'll ever be.

"vampires, really y/n?" the blond's lips pull into a tight line and you can't help but snicker at how serious the middle child of the landau family could be, "i don't need a scarf."

"sure thing, you wouldn't know until christmas..." the look that gepard is glaring in your direction makes your voice trail off, a light giggle escaping your lips as you raise your hands in a surrender, shaking your head. gepard sometimes wonders how the two of you bonded as children. you were much closer to his two sisters; serval would always steal you to show you what she'd been fiddling with when the two of you were tucked away, children's books seated on your laps and woven scarves wrapped around your necks - the very ones you'd been hinting at just now.

even as lynx grew older, you were commonly found red-handed trying to sneak out of belobog together. the two of you would grumble as serval and gepard pinched your ears, tugging you back to the landau family's manor as they scolded you - specifically you though, they were all too familiar with the concept that you was the mastermind behind the adventures.

gepard sometimes wishes he knew what pulled the two of you together like an invisible thread, some kind of magnetic reaction that neither of you could stop. despite the differences and lack of idea why the two of you were friends, you were inseparable; that was until gepard became the captain of the silvermane guards. now it seems that he's more devoted to the supreme guardian than he is to his own family's name.

you knew though. you knew the pull you felt as children was a dumb, silly crush that you never shook off. the sweet young blond toddler who would sit with you at school lunch, clasping his lunchbox with a toothy grin and who noticed you despite the things people whispered, that's exactly who you fell for. except you were almost a hundred percent certain you'd grow out of it.

you didn't.

in fact, it got worse.

and to make matters worse, no matter how much you'd tried to subtly hint to gepard that someone liked him, fawned over him even, he didn't take the hint at all. it was like talking to a brick wall, your words seemingly going into one ear and coming out the other as if his mind was hollow when it came to anything romantic - you were starting to think it was.

what you didn't realise was the seemingly naïve blond harboured feelings, ones he just didn't understand. he'd become a work devoted man - his every waking breath taken in honour of the supreme guardian, his every word uttered in the name of the landau family. gepard didn't have the time of day to ponder on emotions, at least not ones that would create obstacles in his pursuit of safety and peace within belobog's walls.

he was not only a brick wall for you but for himself and he didn't even notice it. you raise the hot mug to your lips again, your eyes trailing out of the nearby window to take in the way snowflakes waltz, their patterns unique and never once the same as the other. sometimes that's how it feels when you look at the souls of belobog. gepard's icy blue eyes follow your gaze even though he's tired of seeing the snow.

"when are you settling down, geppie?" your voice rings out into the awkward silence, harmonic and a gentle melody that gepard wishes would lull him to sleep when he's restless, his lithe body aching from the days spent in his armour like a statue in the harsh cold. he'll toss and turn, unable to rest when his mind tortures him with the thoughts of the guards under his command that he's lost in the past.

the silence is a killer, tearing you apart as you reconsider your sudden question. you was being nosey, you admit and you sounded a lot like a rich aunt wanting to know when he's having kids - this wasn't your intentions but you wanted to know where you stood with your childhood crush. it'd be better to know now rather than later, at least in your eyes.

"settling down isn't necessary y/n," he comments suddenly in response, clearing his throat awkwardly despite the hot flush in his cheeks that he blames on the geomarrow heating system inside the hotel, "i have work to focus on."

a sad smile crosses your face for a mere few seconds and it doesn't go unnoticed by gepard. he doesn't push it but he takes a moment to consider what could possibly have made you ask that question. while he ponders with no clear answer in sight, there's a realisation that hits like a freight train - gepard isn't ever going to give you even a prospect of a chance with him. it's harsh and sudden, clinging to your heart and tearing it apart. you cover up the pain with a sip of your drink, the very one going cold.

there couldn't be a way in the cosmos that gepard hadn't an idea about your crush; not after all these years that you'd be pining for him. the gifts you'd wrapped so neatly, tied with a ribbon bow - effort that you'd never put in for anyone else's gifts - that would end up in his gloved hands every christmas, birthday and numerous other special occasions; special occasions such as his promotion to captain of the silvermane guards.

you'd wrote a letter confession once in your neatest handwriting, presenting it to the maids of the landau family as they giggled unanimously at the shy front of you they'd finally witnessed. unfortunately for you, that time was a dud since in the hurry of the morning you'd wrote aforementioned letter, you'd failed to even sign it off with your name. gepard, in all of his blind sightedness, didn't even recognise your handwriting let alone mention the letter to you.

with a grimace - one that you're unsure if it came from the bitter, cold drink in your mug or the situation at hand, - you realise it's probably best to move on. it feels as if your heart is shattering, crumbling in your very hands as gepard raises his lukewarm mug to his lips, a faint grimace also crossing his face at the temperatures of your drinks now. you could still support gepard the way you are now, as the two kids that used to read children's books together. you'd just never be able to settle for more than that.

the air is thick as the two of you take the distaste for your drinks as a sign to leave, that the brief catch-up was over and the awkward air could fade out. yet gepard can't just leave you on the front steps of the goethe hotel, of course not. to make your breaking heart worse, he's determined to walk you back to your family home - which isn't far, mind you but you still spite him for being so hopeless with feelings.

"i'm being sent back to the frontlines soon," he mentions calmly as his eyelashes catch snowflakes and you're reminded of when you'd stick your tongues out to catch them as kids. you tear your gaze away from him but your brows furrow in concern, "the supreme guardian wants high defences around the fragmentum while it eases away."

"you shouldn't go," you mumble before you can even think about the repercussions of your words. gepard's eyes widen and he looks at you in confusion, "i mean - i'm just scared for you, geppie. it's dangerous out there. why can't you just stay inside the city walls?"

"it's my duty, y/n!" gepard exclaims, his brows knitted together as he pauses walking to turn to you. you'd never argued back against his work before, why did you suddenly care so much? "it's my duty... to abide to the supreme guardian, it always has been - you wouldn't understand-"

"no, maybe i don't but i love you and you don't seem to understand that either!" you blurt out angrily, your fists clenched as tears prick at your eyes. you could cover it as the cold but your emotions are written heavily on your face and gepard pauses, his chapped lips parted in shock as he takes a moment.

you go quiet, short breaths of air gasping from your lips as you try to calm down following the ordeal. you're hurt, torn by gepard's lack of ability to read that after all these years, you'd been the most loyal person to him while he'd been running off being that exact person to the supreme guardian. all you wanted was for him to notice that.

it's almost as if gepard's body and mind have to restart, blinking slowly as he stares at the way your eyes are glittering in the brief glimpse of sunlight peeking from behind dull clouds. his pulse is racing to the point where he can hear his heart beating in his ears, drowning out the idle chatter of people around them that don't seem to quite notice the situation between the children of the two noble families in belobog. gepard's stomach twists and turns and for a moment, he considers whether these are the butterflies that serval and lynx always spoke about with none other than you.

the blond can't bear to see the way tears are threatening to spill down your cheeks a moment longer yet he also can't appear to form the words needed to even remotely convey his feelings or comfort you. so instead, he follows his heart for once. his white gloved hands reach up, cupping your cold cheeks delicately before he presses his lips to yours, pulling you closer without a second thought.

the day that gepard returns to the frontlines arrives sooner than you'd expected. to cope with the absence of your now boyfriend - a term that still makes you giggle like a school kid when you utter it to anybody, - you'd taken to helping out at belobog's very own history and culture museum. you enjoyed it more than you could probably put into words, especially teaching the children small history lessons like you were doing currently.

the hall is bustling but the kids' faces light up with every detail you go over, wide grins on their faces. out of the corner of your eyes, during the middle of a sentence, you caught sight of a familiar head of blond hair approaching from across the hall. your heart speeds up, a hopeless smile on your face as you quickly return to what you was saying to the children.

a small smile etches onto gepard's face as he leans against a nearby wall, listening to your history lesson intently. you're fantastic with kids, always so expressive to help fuel their curiosities and growing excitement and he can't help but remember just how well you would handle lynx when she was just a small child. he folds his arms across his chest, admiring the way your eyes glitter in the warm lamps that light the museum up - a much better sight than the way your eyes glittered a few days ago.

your lesson is soon over, the kids hurriedly following pela as she takes over your next job the moment she catches sight of gepard so casually leaning in the museum with a hopelessly in love smile on his face - one he can't exactly hide anymore whenever he looks at you. you approach with a confused smile, a stack of information papers in your hands.

"aren't you supposed to be at the frontlines right now?" you ask softly, tilting your head as you stand before the tall blond man. gepard shrugs lightly, the most carefree you'd seen him for a long time. that grin on his face grows and it begins to rub off on you too.

"the frontlines can wait, lady bronya heard my reasoning and granted me permission to stay within belobog for a while longer," he muses, blue eyes sparkling with a mischievous look you'd lacked to see from him since you were children, "why? not happy to see me?"

you consider asking what the reasoning was that he'd presented to the supreme guardian, although you knew that bronya was a soft soul underneath that tough guise she settles in for the role of the supreme guardian. you shake the thought of questioning him from your mind, leaning forward to press your lips to his softly. the stack of papers in your hand reaches up to hide your faces during your intimate moment and gepard grins, wrapping his arms around your waist as if he couldn't survive without pulling you closer.

he may have been a few (many) years late but there wasn't a chance in the cosmos that he was going to let you go now - the frontlines could indeed wait.

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