#re: and how does that make you feel? smad?

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so idk about you, but i say all the time "this panel has been living in my mind rent free" and the other night i got the idea to make a compilation of all the panels that have been doing that this month and see what picture that paints, but then also to do that for the next few months and see which panels stick around/what changes.

anyways, nobody asked for this and it may only be interesting to me but when i realized i had more than 30 images and that i'd have to stitch them together if i wanted it all in one post i def noticed some themes and that was super neat!!

might reblog later with commentary but for now i'm just going to share the panels/compilations and a brief summary. all source issues are listed left to right ;)

batman: urban legends # 5, legends of the dark knight #100

robin 80th anniversary 100-page super spectacular #1, batman and robin (2011) #14

batman: gotham knights #26, batgirl (2000) #34

batman: urban legends #18, batman: gotham knights #2

detective comics #572, from the dc vault: death in the family: robin lives! #1, justice league (2011) #19

nightwing (1996) #106, batman: urban legends #10, young justice (1998) #7

robin (1993) #10, nightwing (1996) #69, nightwing (1996) #25, azrael: agent of the bat #56, robin (1993) #133, detective comics #723, nightwing (1996) #96, teen titans (2003) #24

batman #455 (twice), robin (1993) #102, red robin #7, robin (1993) #132, adventure comics (2009) #3

titans/young justice: graduation day #2, robin (1993) #46, knight terrors: robin #2, batman (2016) #147 (yes i meant to put it three times), the boy wonder #4, batman (2016) #130

some stats:

34 total panels (timmy hands only counted once), 65% (22) post crisis, 6% (2) n52, 29% (10) rebirth onward.

22 separate titles (might be off by one or two but i think that's right), with robin (1993) getting the most rep, 5 panels. nightwing (1996) came in second with 4 panels, and then, batman: urban legends in third with 3.

i've also only read/re-read i think 6 of these recently? obvs robin lives and boy wonder, and then robin #132-133, adventure comics #3, and batman #455.

at a glance observations- shocker, there is so much tim lmao. i think about jason more than i think i do, kind of? like obviously ik i'm thinking about him a lot but it feels like more all laid out lol. lot of focus on grief/loss, not at all surprising. i think that damn "i fell from the moon" panel is never going to leave, bc ik for a fact that bad boy has been squatting since november of last year lmao. lil sprinkle of timkon. damian feels underrepresented *squints*, but this is also strictly panels i'm thinking of and not just like character thoughts. no dick and damian panels, that is interesting to me, bc i do think about them. the dick & tim, dick & jason, jason & tim focus, in that order too, makes a lot of sense.

seeing all of these put together feels like i reached into the junk drawer of my brain and organized it, very wild lmao

[knightofameris]

sudden changes — tony stark

✎ setting. my MCU-AU, taking place after Endgame but my version (summer 2018, no timeskip) ✎ contains. angst, fluff, family problems tony being a dad, OCs ✎ wc. 1.5k

✎ prompt. “You can be mad at someone and still miss them.” for @afterglowparker‘s 1k follower celebration & challenge! I’ve had this written for a while but I wanted to wait to post it.

✎ ameris’ notes. I tried making this story make as much sense as possible since Kay’s (my OC) story had developed a lot into Endgame along with the other OCs that partake in the overall MCU-AU. || I re-read through this and phew i used to be proud of this piece but not anymore. i did a lot of revisions and fixed some grammatical mistakes. now i likee it a bit better. tbh im tempted to rewrite this whole thing in a newer updated version but eehhhhh

Enjoy! [repost from old account, @knightofmarvel]

❝ i miss him but i’m so angry ❞

The pebbles rolled on the ground. They had no control over where they were going, where they would be placed. A stick that prodded them around had control over their journey and destination. 

And like the pebbles, the young girl squatting on the ground pushing them around was just another one of the pebbles in this life. 

At least it felt like that to her.

The frown on her face was seemingly permanently etched on her face. Her swollen and reddened eyes matched her cheeks and nose. In her sweatshirt pocket there were stuffed tissues that she wouldn’t dare touch anymore.

Her nose scrunched up as she felt tears making their way to her eyes again. Her lips turned downward. She choked on a sob, bringing the back of her hand to her mouth to try to muffle every noise. 

The Vietnamese girl fell back to sit and brought her knees up to her face, hugging it. The moonlight shone on her, causing her dark hair to glisten and the stars began to twinkle. 

But as the universe brought it, she could no longer feel the comfort the moon and stars tried to bring to her in that moment. Without her powers, there was no more communication with the stars.

With it, she lost a part of herself. Some could even argue all of herself.

The pebbles crunched around her, signaling the presence of someone else. But she paid them no mind, believing it to be Irene or Kai. Maybe Steve or Rhodey.

“You good, kid?”

She didn’t respond, tucking her knees closer in. She pursed her lips when she felt Tony sit down next to her, knowing that their relationship had changed since the battles. Calling him dad, saving his ass, him saving hers, saving the universe,

“Is this about your family, Kay?” Tony asked. Kay nodded her head. She finally stretched her legs out and set her hands on her lap. Her gaze faced down. Tony scanned her face to gauge a reaction. He scrunched his nose and sniffed, looking off towards the distance out from the Avengers Headquarters.

Tony would usually be back at his cabin, staying with Pepper as she got through her pregnancy. But Pepper shooed him away. Said he was being overbearing and that he should check in with his other kids, too. He scoffed at that, of course.

Kay grunted, scooting closer to him and then leaning her head against his shoulder.

“I’m smad, Tony,” she murmured just loud enough for him to hear.

Tony raised a brow, moving his head to get a better look at her. “Back to Tony? I’m hurt kid, after all we been through I thought—”

Kay groaned, burying her face into his shoulder. Blood rushed to her face as she tried to hide it. He chuckled. He moved his arm to wrap around her shoulder, pulling her closer when the night summer breeze passed by.

“You’ve been coming out here more, haven’t you? What’re you ‘smad’ about?”

Kay sighed. It was true, she was coming out on the rooftop more often. She only came out when she was in a bad mood, after all.

“If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine—”

“Everything sucks and I just want to die. I mean,” she began talking faster, “not actually die, just not… exist… for a while.” Tony frowned, knowing that feeling all too well.

“I can’t—I can’t be a hero anymore,” Kay sniffled. “I can’t do the only thing I’m good at and my parents disowned me. At least, it feels like it. Says I’m worse than my sister. And god only knows how they’re going to react to her girlfriend and then to my brother’s situation in the future. They threaten to not pay for my tuition for college and I don’t even know if I want to do physics. And it feels like the brother I looked up to for so long just betrayed me and it makes me so mad because it feels like he’s gaslighting me and himself.

“Then I feel guilty because maybe I’m in the wrong and—and if I had my powers still I’d have better intuition about everything but I don’t.

“And I don’t know what to do. I’m just so angry and so sad and I hate Luke but I miss him so much and I miss when he was there for me but he just says I should stay home and that I shouldn’t be doing this shit. That I should leave it to the adults. 

“No one even knows that I made the universe go back to normal after bringing all of them back. And I’m so mad because they expect me to act like an adult but then treat me like a child and-and-and—Dad, I don’t know what to do and I hate that you’ve been more of a dad to me than my actual father and that says a lot. Then I keep thinking about Luke and I just—I want him back, I miss the Luke I looked up to but I’m so angry. I’m angry at what he’s become.”

By the end of the long-winded rant, Kay began sobbing, curling up into Tony for comfort. Her eyes shut and her mouth twisted into a frown as she cried.

The night breeze hit the two of them once more, her face feeling a spike of cold because of the tears. Her nose sniffled more since the cold always made her nose run a bit. Tony’s thumb rubbed against her arm in a comforting motion.

“That’s on him, you know. He’s the one acting weird and he’s seriously missing out on how much you’ve grown. Your parents too.” Tony paused, then sighed in frustration at Kay’s family. “I think it does say a lot that you thought of me like a dad. I’m a mess.” He chuckled and Kay laughed at him too, saying something along the lines that he was still a good mess.

Tony shook his head. “You know, you can be mad at someone and still miss them. It’s only natural of course. And hey, how about this. You’re still staying at your parents, aren’t you?” Kay nodded. “Move out, you’re still 17, I’ll take you in. You can stay at my cabin with me and Pep. I’ll pay for your tuition and everything too.”

“Tony,” Kay pulled away, looking up at him, “that’s too much to ask I don’t think-I don’t think I can ask—”

“’Dad,’” Tony interrupted. “Come on, you’ve already called me dad a few times. It’s fine.” He scrunched his nose. “And since I’m your dad, I’ll take care of you.”

“Would I,” Kay murmured, her gaze back down at her hands, “would I be Kay Stark then?”

There was a beat.

“Yeah,” Tony said. “Kay Stark. Rolls off the tongue pretty nicely too.” He looked back down at her, a small smile making its way onto her face for what seemed to be the first time in a long time.

“Uhm,” Kay stuttered. “For my freshman orientation, there’s a parent portion. You don’t have to go ‘cause it’s not necessary bu—”

“I’ll go.”

Kay glanced up, narrowing her eyes and was about to say something to him.

“No, I’ll go. It’s fine. Pepper can’t go to California because she’s taking maternity leave so I can check up on the company for her. Your college isn’t too far from LA anyways.”

“Thanks, dad.”

Tony smirked, pulling her back into him and rubbing her shoulder with his hand.

“Of course, kid.” There was a small pause. “Now, I can build you a suit. Get you back into superhero-ing. Could be Iron Knight or something.”

Tony continued to ramble, trying to get Kay’s mind off of everything and anything. She felt safe again, whole. The thought of being a new hero made her feel better. Because in the end, it wasn’t her powers that made her. She was a hero because of who she already was. 

It took her a while to realize that, and It’ll take longer for her to drill that in her mind but Kay knew that as long as she had the support of her family, her “found family”, everything would turn out okay.

For the first time in a long time, Kay felt the need to shut her eyes. Even if she couldn’t communicate with the stars and moon in the night sky anymore, she knew that their presence was all that she needed. And she slowly drifted as Tony talked.

“Wow, you really fell asleep on your old man, huh,” Tony chuckled as her body slowly slumped down to rest her head on his lap. He looked down at her, a smile on his face. He moved her hair out of her face and he finally saw the bags and dark circles under her eyes. Ones that were too familiar to him. His smile grew sad and he shuffled underneath her to pick her up and bring her down to her room.

Tony continued staring at her worn out eyes. He’d need to talk to her about her sleeping patterns and possible nightmares or panic or anxiety attacks.

He made it down to the living floor and walked down the dark hallway to her room. Tony slightly kicked it open, setting her down on her bed. He had to make room for her with the large Captain America tsumtsum and the extra large Iron Man tsumtsum. The young girl automatically turned to hug both of the tsumtsums and Tony shook his head.

Tony bent down to kiss the top of her head and moved to leave the room. He gave her one last glance and then closed the door quietly, leaving her to sleep.

✎ ameris’ notes. tbh, i was hesitant on posting this cus 1) it’s an oc story 2) if i am to post about the entire AU i created, this is a huge spoiler regarding Kay’s powers. but at least no one knows how she no longer has it i guess lol. 3) none of this makes sense because of everything i have written/outlined for this AU and on who the characters are and their development and everything.

i’d personally love to share more information about this mcu-au but, eh. 

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dc is releasing a sequel to the alternate ending where jason lives and it comes out in july nobody talk to me nobody touch me i’m going to be sick SICK I TELL YOU look at this preview i’m not okay

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"his comics either go so hard or they're absolute ass, why is there no in between. istg, i can't figure out why writers struggle with him so much?? well. i mean, i do have theories. but you didn't ask for those!" 👀🍿 ?

these have legit been sitting in my inbox for over a year, forgive me, arana and @sparkleofstardust, i love these ask sm truly. for awhile, it was going to be a Dissertation on Jason Todd, but uh. that is not what was asked for lmao before i elaborate, i want to be clear that these are just my personal opinions based off of my own personal interpretations of the comics i've read. i am well read on Jason's comics, i have read basically every single one, many of them more than once, and i'm also fairly well read for the bats in general. which i say not to be like "so i'm clearly correct, don't you dare disagree", bc it's perfectly valid to disagree with me, but rather in an attempt to give context for where my perspective is coming from. i'm not a Jason stan above all else. i'm a comics lover with a current focus on the bats. so why do i think writers struggle with Jason? i think it boils down to two main issues- not understanding and/or caring about his character and what i feel like is editorial's fear of ruining a cash cow. with the first one, i do not believe that utrh alone is sufficient for understanding Jason's character. (that is, if you're literally going to be writing him in comics canon. this does not apply to fic writers. when it comes to fic i don't think you need to have read a single comic to characterize any of them well. and i say that as someone who loves their comics and would love for more people to read them lmao. but that's also a different post, i just wanted to be clear.) besides the fact that utrh does not have any interior monologue for Jason, it is not his origin story. it's just where he debuts as Red Hood. trying to understand Jason through Red Hood first/primarily is like trying to get to know an actor on a personal level purely through their most successful film.

now, i'm not one to prescribe a list of comics as a cure for characterization woes bc i think trying to use comics to force a specific view of a character is...disingenuous at best. i want people to read and decide things for themselves. that being said, if you're literally getting paid to write Jason Todd in main continuity comics, i think the bare minimum is aditf, lost days, and utrh. you need to understand that Jason was Robin. you need to understand what his relationship with Bruce was like before he died- yes, aditf starts off with them fighting but they resolve things before Jason died. you need to understand why it was so devastating to see the newspaper clippings Talia curated for Jason. you need to understand why Jason could truthfully say, "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."

like, did you know that that is part of why Winick's pitch was successful? he wasn't the first person to pitch bringing Jason back. and while i'm sure part of the appeal was that subversion of expectations, that subversion works because it's believable.

understandng the person Jason was before he died is crucial imo. which is why new robin!Jason comics that rewrite him as reveling in being Robin because it satisfies his lust for violence irritate me to no end. Jason did not become Robin so he could be violent. but anyways, Jason characterization is going to be very flat in comics if your main approach to him "guy who wants the Joker dead/hates Batman because he didn't kill the Joker." boriiiiiiing. bet you anything there's at least a hundred random Gothamites who fit that description. how can you hope to tell a compelling Jason story when that's all you see in Jason?

also, if you're going to write Jason well, you need to understand that he is Such an Unreliable Narrator. writing unreliable narrators well is hard af. i can understand why some writers would shy away from that challenge. but i don't think any comics writer who has has written Jason well.

and ofc, if the writer doesn't care to understand Jason and they just want an antagonist, i mean. sure. make Jason a supervillain. why not. at that point, you're writing an oc in a Jason cosplay which is...a choice. now, Jason hasn't really been a Villain since post-crisis, and he wasn't even always a villain in post-crisis. dc very firmly made Jason an anti-hero when they did they reboot, and overall i think as time has gone on they've put more and more emphasis on the hero part of that anti-hero label. however. if you've been reading Jason's current comics, really anything since Task Force Z, you're probably aware that most of it has Jason in a very one-dimensional rut.

now, part of this is the fact that it's hard for any of the characters without solos/consistent lead roles to develop bc they just...aren't getting page time.

that being said, i think Jason would be in a rut anyways because there's not really anyway for editorial to develop him without picking a path for Jason. which is something i don't think they want to do because there's no way to do that without upsetting a lot of his fans. people who like Jason more anti won't be happy with him being a hero and vice versa. so i think that even if the writer does understand Jason well, their hands are tied by editorial. there's only so much that they can do to progress his character in any direction when none of that matters the second they're not the one writing his character, yk?

i think which path Jason ends up on is such a point of contention for his fans because the preferences hinge on how that individual defines healing, what that looks like to them. for some people, Jason getting space and autonomy from the Bats is healing. for others, reconcilation is healing. depending on how you interpret Jason's character, writing in either direction could feel like he's being done a disservice.

this doesn't mean editorial can never pick a path for Jason. it just means that editorial needs to have a clear vision for Jason's character that they are willing to commit to. something that they will give the page time it needs to play out. and they're not going to do that unless they think it will sell. which is part of why h2sh...intrigues me. but yeah! these are the basics of why i think comic writer's struggle with Jason. was it worth waiting a year for? probably not LMAO. tysm for your asks, i appreciate both your curiosity and your patience!! <3

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the thing about bruce and jason's philosophies that gets to me is how similar they are. they're both very simple, child-like views on how evil should be dealt with. but they differ on killing and it sets them so far apart.

i remember being 9 years old watching a:tla with my family and being so frustrated that aang was unwilling to kill firelord ozai. like, yeah, taking life is a big deal, but if anyone had earned it ozai had earned it. i wanted aang to get over himself and see the bigger picture and do the right thing.

and the thing is, i do think he ultimately did the right thing. not that killing ozai would've been wrong- it would have been the wrong decision for aang, but my point is that there was more than one "right" decision to dealing with ozai.

life isn't neatly black and white, with only one correct choice at every step. but bruce and jason, typically, do not think that way. sometimes they can be respectful of differing viewpoints but by and large, they are so set and defensive of their ways that they struggle to connect even though there is so much room for them to have common ground. because they think that if they concede to any of the other's views they're contradicting themselves and that would make them wrong and they cannot be wrong. and it's unfortunate because it holds them back from growing.

they're never going to have the exact same viewpoint. and that's okay. but that doesn't mean that one of them is always right/good and the other is wrong/bad.

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I'm interested in the one called 'omg is this just captain Marvel 2? because that's a very funny title lol

Hope you're having a nice day!

it's such a silly title, i agree lol

so yk how in captain marvel 2, the three of them get linked and like swap locations? so basically the concept for this is like that, except it's jason getting linked to au versions of himself and they get tossed between universes. initially it was more of a timeline swap of red hood!jason flipping with robin!jason but the more i thought about it, the more i thought, wouldn't it be so fun if like i had three jasons, each from a diff universe, because, hear me out:

Universe 1: red hood!jason, roughly comics canon, post alfred's death but other than that i haven't thought out/may not think out exact time, so like not enemies of the Bats but still yk, things are a lil rocky/fragile/uneasy

Universe 2: robin!jason. kid has no clue what the future holds. i'm not 100% sure, but i'm thinking this will be after the Felipe Garzonas incident but before he finds out about his birth mom's existence, bc i want there to be some fractures present bc...you'll see.

Universe 3: bluejay!jason. he never died as robin, same age as red hood!jason, solid relationship with the Bats, maybe seems like a "happier" universe.

the first swap would shuffle them all forward one + it's a mind swap not a body swap so like physically they'd all look the same on the outside, so it would go red hood in robin!universe, robin in bluejay!universe, bluejay in red hood!universe which would be so fun, bc i think red hood would initially think he's just gone back in time, robin would be thinking he's gone to the future and sees that he does turn out "good", and bluejay would be the only one to know he's in an au and furthermore, that his family is treating him...differently.

this is one of those that i like so much it twists into, 'literally only you are interested in this concept, cue, nobody wants this', BUT i really, really like it so. target audience? me, myself, and i lmao

tysm for the ask babbles, hope you're having a great day!!

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it would be so funny if they killed jason off again because no one stays dead so he would inevitably come back and just be like HA none of you bitches can say you’ve died TWICE