#realism scary sometimes i guess lol

[ashendalia]

I understand the people who get upset that F/Os and selfships who's sources aren't cartoon or anime or similar vein based get less less attention

[colemckenzies]

hi do you think older sitcoms are essential viewing? if so which do you recommend? i tried taking your quiz but i'm ashamed of not knowing any of the older ones hahaha

depends on what ur goal is!!! (i assume this is about the US version rather than britcoms just bc statistically that's more likely lol)

personally i like older sitcoms bc a) i just think they're neat :) and b) sitcom history IS tv history IS media history IS modern history. in the us and uk specifically sitcoms are so integral to the dna of the country, theyve been there since the beginning, they're the POPULAR television they're what everyone watched. even when they aren't 'good' they're just so omnipresent and influential that they affect literally everything else.

i also think it's cool as a litmus test for where the country is on social issues. invariably sitcoms were the first things to talk about stuff like race and sexuality (and not in the bland woke points way of modern shows lmao) because they were ALLOWED to because it was a safe environment bc 1. it's Funny so when the topic makes people uncomfortable they get to do Nervous Laughter and it's not too serious and 2. everything in a sitcom goes back to the status quo at the end of the episode so there's no Threat from these Scary New Concepts because it will be gone by the end. and yeah it means there was a lot of offensive shit sometimes lol but in the context of the time there is surprisingly little 'punching down' humour it's more just ~poltically incorrect~ which is better than pretending things just don't exist in the 70s imo. and again because it's SUCH a bland and popular genre it made a huge difference to Normalising things like shows like will&grace and the cosby show weren't perfect but just having them on as this safe middle class (bc yeah if they were going ~~socially progressive they were almost always middle class to make it palatable lol) concept made the middle class white cishets go wow 😌 guess they aren't evil freaks 😌 and joe biden even credited w&g for paving the way to gay marriage LOL which yeah obviously none of this is ideal but i think it's cool and has its place in social history!!

it's also just a cool little time capsule especially in domesticoms to see what people were concerned about at the time. this is especially true for britcoms bc of the whole kitchen sink realism thing but applies to us shows too!! like the episode of the golden girls where the children are afraid they'll die in a nuclear war before theyre adults (ah.. the 80s<3) or in rising damp (uk show from the 70s!!!) where there's a joke about not using aerosols bc of the ozone layer which are like Oh This Has Been A Thing For This Long

ANYWAY that's enough rambling. are old sitcoms essential viewing. if u want to fully understand the modern tv landscape then i think yes (especially shows like community and bojack that are very much About television and its legacy, or shows that are satirical subversions like iasip). but like not trying to be a snob u don't HAVE to lol. if u want to understand more about America As A Country then yes. if u want to find some shows that are genuinely enjoyable if in a different way to modern television then yes. yes <3

idk how old you consider 'older' sitcoms to be but some Academic highlights:

beulah (1950) - so a lot of EARLY early sitcoms were radio shows that moved into the new medium, and two of these shows were beulah and amos n andy, both of which were minstrel shows by white men. but when they moved to tv, they actually cast black actors/actresses for the most part, which i just find.. very interesting?? amos n andy did still use some blackface tho whereas iirc beulah never did. anyway this show was a HIT and was the first sitcom to star an african american woman, and also didn't have a laugh track which was rare in those days. obviously very outdated now but a piece of history!!

i love lucy (1951) - famous for a reason, the definition of tv history, literally INVENTED the flat lighting style that every multicam sitcom uses so they can shoot from multiple angles at once without shadows, genuinely funny physical comedy and vaudeville, lucille ball is the reason star trek got made so we love her <3

the adventures of ozzie and harriet (1952) - there's over 400 episodes of this and ive not watched most of them bc im not Super into it but it's definitely worth checking out as a Historical Artefact. technically a sitcom but also kind of invented reality tv since it's about a real life family playing themselves, specifically the nelson family. as in ricky nelson. ricky nelson the singer. he grew up on this show.

the honeymooners (1955) - this was filmed on a literal stage in a literal theatre and it feels like it. iconic and referenced a lot but i don't really like it :( wham boom straight to the moon

for Full History probably check out either leave it to beaver or father knows best for the middle class white picket fence domesticom but neither are Particularly notable

the dick van dyke show (1961) - one of my favs!!!! notable for blending the domesticom with the workplace sitcom since you see rob at home and at work (he's a tv writer so there's a canon reason for everyone speaking in quips). this show said women's rights for a) making rob genuinely love his wife b) making one of rob's two co-workers a woman and c) mary tyler moore, a new mother irl, saying I Am Not Going To Do The Vacuuming In Heels And A Hoop Skirt Are You Insane and wearing pants <3. v warm and funny show!!!

the addams family (1964) - ok so this show wasn't actually as revolutionary as everyone on this website likes to pretend it was, pretty much the only 'i hate my wife' show at this point was the honeymooners, there had been loving families, there had been non-middle-class-normative families, the munsters launched the same year and was almost identical. HOWEVER still makes the list bc there were a LOT of fantasy sitcoms in the 60s so they need representing at it was genuinely one of the best (but shout out to i dream of jeannie since that's the fantasy sitcom that sitcom textbooks love to use)

all in the family (1971) - ok so norman lear was a bit of a sitcom legend so one of his had to be included and this was really his first. ol norman loved a britcom so this show is actually based on till death us do part but im not convinced they actually got royalties. anyway one of the first SPECIFICALLY political sitcoms, framed as like young progressive generation vs old conservative generation, also one of the first ever tv shows to suffer from Asshole Main Character Is Erroneously Idolised syndrome. also compare w the honeymooners how all early sitcoms abt working class families tended to revolve around arguments :(

m*a*s*h (1972) - having a bit of a Moment on tumblr rn which is what she deserves. there were a LOT of war-based sitcoms in the early days but this one is significant because even though it was about the korean war it was obviously About vietnam politically. also klinger <333 did so much for queer ppl the Types of jokes surrounding his cross-dressing are very important. also the finale is the most-watched broadcast in america in history outside of recent superbowls, the apollo 11 launch, and nixon's resignation, so that's pretty iconic.

sanford and son (1972) - another norman lear sitcom this time based on britcom steptoe and son, with the major difference being the uk ver had white characters whereas this was one of the first (possibly the first??) all-black sitcom since the 50s. which is a lot of pressure. but it was a success and meant there were then a fair few in the rest of the 70s so that 'black sitcom' became its whole own genre, although they were less likely to have ~universal appeal~ and cross over to white audiences

soap (1977) - SOAP MY BELOVED!! cult classic, soap opera parody, historically significant for having the one of the first main openly gay characters and the earliest one that people still care about (because soap operas are another genre that love to tackle Big Social Issues so of COURSE a soap opera sitcom is gonna have one). by all accounts Bad Gay Rep™ but i love him so much <3

cheers (1982) - cheers isn't even the best sitcom in the cheers universe (frasier <3) but it is one of the most watched tv shows of all time so whatever. nothing That notable about it outside of its popularity, though sam/diane was one of the first big central will-they-won't-they plots.

idk if the 90s still count as older sitcoms?? i won't go into depth bc this post is way too long already but most academically notable 90s shows r seinfeld and will & grace, and ig friends (ew)

BUT if u don't care about sitcom history hfjshd here are some more of my fav pre-90s Vintage Sitcoms that i just watch for fun :) (warning i do NOT have good taste i genuinely like schmaltzy trash):

family affair

bewitched

my mother the car

the brady bunch

wkrp in cincinnati

full house

the golden girls

happy days

[tendermiasma]

i’m not even into overwatch anymore but i just wanted to say I ADORE your art style and hope to develop my own into a similar semi-realism leaning...have you made a post about your art journey? I’m assuming I just need to buckle down and do anatomy studies but any tips are very welcome!! Ty for your time <3

Oh man thank you! I’ve never made a comprehensive post about how I got to *gestures* whatever this point in my art this is, and I definitely sat here wondering what “art journey” means for me since I always feel like I’m stumbling around so I’ll answer as completely as I can. But a great way to develop a realism-minded eye is to draw from photos and life. Everyone in the world has said it over and over but it really gets it done, it’s not any more complicated than that. It’s how I started when I was little and it’s not something I planned, but the Legolas posters were right there so how could I not? Your own non-realism “stylistic” touch will bubble up whether you want it to or not and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s not something you need to look for because it happens on its own, whether it’s you seeing something another artist is doing that you like and assimilating it into your work, or it’s your own unique way that you absorb information from the world and use it to solve problems in the drawing in front of you. Some new artists also still have the idea that using references is cheating-- I’m not blaming them, sometimes this weird thing is circulated by more established people as well-- but this is a very small minority. Please use references. I’d be lost without them. The Castlevania team has a giant collection of references for faces of every character from every angle, props, etc. and I always have a second screen up with 10 different sheets of whoever I’m drawing. Feeding yourself info is essential to getting better. Look at how other artists handle something you’re having a problem with too. If they’re doing a similar pose or something, study their drawing and ask yourself what specifically, extremely technically about that drawing is convincing-- what marks are where, and what is the quality or direction of the strokes? Try it out on your own drawing. If you’re stuck, become aware of if you’re holding on too tightly to what you think something should look like. I have to remind myself this as well. Really try to let go of the idea you have in your head about how something works and simply try instead to draw what you see, even if it feels weird. The results are often pleasantly surprising. 

I have a funny relationship with studies. You seem to be looking at them like a chore and I feel the same way. It’s impossible for me to sit down and just draw something over and over, disconnected from emotion or a larger narrative. I think a wonderful way to “study” is to incorporate those studies into a project that you wanted to do anyway. I’ve used my minicomics to get better at background painting or specific figure poses that I needed for the story but wasn’t sure how to do. I’m a very “oops I need it now better learn TODAY” kind of artist, if that suits you better than buckling down and doing anatomy studies for hours. Both are great ways to improve, but you have options for how to get there. 

In terms of how much time I spend drawing.. well lol it’s a lot. I almost typed “but I don’t do it every day” but yes, my jobs have made sure that I do (I tend to separate personal drawing and job drawing). But the truth is, to get better, a lot of very focused drawing time is important; how much of it is up to you and your schedule. You can sit down for 6 hours and doodle or you can sit down for 3 with an extremely critical eye. It’s about the volume of time as well as focus and I don’t have a clear answer for it, but I can point to one specific year in my life where I made artistic progress like I’ve never seen from myself since. I drew a comic with regular updates during that time and, looking back, the art was not good. But the point was, I was drawing for 7 hours a day after work, at least 5 days a week, and actively looking to draw things that I hadn’t done before or knew that I wasn’t good at, and the result was that every single update was almost like it was drawn by a different person-- readers noticed and commented on the progress as well. It was very much an art bootcamp and I wouldn’t have the skills I do at this point if I hadn’t done it. It’s important that you’re loving what you do if you do it for yourself! That’s how you get through big projects and continue to be excited with where you are. Love is one of the most important motivators and discipline-keepers in art, in my experience. Draw what sets your brain on fire and attack it wholeheartedly even if it’s really weird or niche, not what you think you should be drawing, and you’ll improve a million times faster.

Art journey in terms of what I’ve done with my life (if this is what you meant from the beginning I’M SORRY I’m just trying everything you might have meant) uhhh I haven’t been to art school. I have no idea what my relationship with art would be like now if I’d had any formal training and I don’t really dwell on it. I could either be a testament to being able to get by without it or an example of someone who has no idea what she’s doing at all and lacks many basic foundational art skills. I have an architecture degree. I love architecture, I love the language of space we build for ourselves, and I’m truly, deeply glad for that eye-opening and often grueling experience, but I think my current field is a much better fit. Before animation I worked as a graphic designer mainly drawing storyboards for commercials and internal-industry stuff-- lots and lots of quick colored sketches (one of our main clients was a big glass company and my god I never thought I’d draw so much glass in my life). I was able to do that job due to the skills I developed through personal work. Maybe I’d be a hundred times more powerful if I went to art school! Maybe I’d be completely burned out and bitter and not drawing anymore at all! I just don’t know. I have friends who have had both experiences. Whether you choose art school or not it’s best to keep tabs on if the art you’re currently making brings you joy. Joy and struggle aren’t mutually exclusive. Oftentimes I’m drawing something I care deeply about but it’s VERY FUCKING HARD and I’m frustrated but it’s worth it.

I also do everything while being very scared of the thing. I have a lot of deep-seated anxiety that I’m constantly trying to root out and my brain compulsively twists things around into why I can’t do something, why people secretly know I’m below-par and are just too nice to tell me, how I’m “tricking” people into thinking I’m better than I am, etc. It’s so bad that my first thought when I was initially offered the art test for my current job was to say no; not because I didn’t want it so badly it hurt, but because I thought I’d be too much of a disappointment.  After completing the test I spent an hour figuring out the most gracious way to apologize for not being enough. It’s common, but not something to accept and we’re all working on it. I just thought it was important to mention because art is also a mental journey and forces you to do all this navel-gazey shit in order to advance, and feeling like you are Not Enough is rife in the creative community. The work feels entangled with my value as a person because art is a massive part of my life. Something I’m learning is that I don’t have to be confident or sure of myself all the time. This ensures that the process is usually painful and frightening. Often there’s no way to make it less painful or frightening, and I just have to hold my breath and do it. An oddly comforting thing to me the past couple years is to remind myself that the scary thing I’m about to do won’t be the scariest thing I’ll ever do. I implies both that this isn’t the pinnacle of my progress and also that I will inevitably get over it. If you continue with art you’re going to run into things like this and I guess if it was me it would’ve been helpful to know I’m not alone in it.

I hope that maybe answered some of your questions, maybe? If you have some specific questions feel free and I’ll try my best. Hope you have a good day/night!

[varsitycult]

Reading List 2020

One of my resolutions for 2020 was to read a book per month to incentivize myself to actually finish books. I’m geeked I succeeded and ended up reading 14 books plus+++. Sometimes you just start to feel genuinely fucking dumb; then you know it’s time to create new habits and engage in new hobbies : )

I was able to find a lot of books for free--I’ve included links below.

January --

“The Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay C. Gibson PhD truly fucked me up. Lots of highlighted passages. Being almost a year removed from the revelations that this book helped me have around my own family dynamic, I’m really thankful with the amount of actual peace and contentment I am able to feel now.

February --

“Beyond Mindfulness in Plain English” by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana is the follow-up to “Mindfulness in Plain English”. Very helpful for more advanced meditative techniques, particularly around the Jhannas. Also highlighted the fuck out of this book. Not much to say about the book itself, it is more about the advances in meditative technique that can be gained from using the advice in this book....uh is there a difference idk 8 ) let us chat abt it

March --

“Fever Dream”/”Rescue Distance” by Samanta Schweblin. It was aight! Read it in one sitting one night under the impression it was a genuinely scary horror short novel, but wasn’t really impressed as a horror nerd, though I do appreciate Schweblin’s stylistic choices.

April --

“Perfume” by Patrick Suskind is a banger and I look forward to the end of quarantine when we will all engage in an end-of-Perfume-level orgy together : )

May --

“Chi no Wadachi” by Oshimi Shuuzou is genuinely the best manga I’ve read in a long time. It is an exceptionally well-executed psychological horror manga about an abusive mother and her son written by the same guy who made “Aku no Hana” (which I also read in May lol).

“Black Hole” by Charles Burns was both good and irritating! Really enjoy his artistic style. Could do without a huge percentage of his dialogue tho eheh.

June -- 

“How Nonviolence Protects the State” by Peter Gelderloss created a lot of space in my brain, which I think is the most valuable thing a book can give you--space from prior immediate cognitions. I started reading it because we live a few blocks away from where George Floyd was murdered; the way in which American (white) liberals choose to intellectualize violence and decide what an “appropriate” response is, when a vast majority of them never experience violence directly, esp at the hands of the state, is really telling of our collective psychological development as a country. ie our collective American ideology is always in support of the state. Let’s conceive of violence differently.

July --

“Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl” by Andrea Lawlor was rad. Just read it.

August --

“Audition” by Ryu Murakami -- this was a long time coming, I guess. I watched Audition when I was maybe 13 or 14? It is a genuinely good Japanese horror film and so I bought a copy before I lived in Japan hoping to read it there (uh i didn’t lel). It was a very fast read; the pacing was odd, and there was a lot of weird theorizing about trauma, and also lots of misogyny (I mean you’d think so). I honestly didn’t feel much once the book was over. The movie reigns supreme here.

“Capitalist Realism” by Mark Fisher was also a long time coming, glad I finally read it. rip Mark ;-; you would hate this timeline.

and 2 shorts, “Lone Shadow” by Mia Nie and “Lady of the Shard” by GiGi D.G. BOTh really gOOOD!!!1

September --

“Kindred” by Octavia Butler was a ride.

“Chainsaw Man“ by Tatsuki Fujimoto (up to September) is just fucking so good, get Viz it’s only 2 or 3 bucks a month.

October --

“The End of Policing” by Alex Vitale is essential reading.

November --

“From Here to Eternity” by Caitlin Doughty was an overall poppy (to be expected) but very interesting exploration of different cultures’ relationships to death. It is hard to imagine growing up in Indonesia, participating in Torajan mummification practices, keeping your deceased loved one dressed and housed indefinitely after death. This book made me want to read more anthropological and religious stuff again.

December --

“Consciousness: A Very Short Introduction” by Susan Blackmore is what it is! At times her writing style is overly wishy-washy and concluding segments often feel abrupt and not succinctly explained but it was short and an adequate primer.

Books I Read A Lorge % Of:

“On Violence” by Hannah Arendt

“What Terrorists Want” by Louise Richardson

“The Origins of Political Order” by Francis Fukuyama

“Imperialism: Past and Present” by Emanuele Saccarelli and Latha Varadarajan”

“Neuromancer” by William Gibson

*Hoping to finish all of these in 2021.

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 4 - The Intervention of Fate (Ch 15-18) + Overall Review

Seeing the destruction of Sector 7 alongside the sunset was really beautifully saddening. It’s devastating for Tifa and Barret to have to look over it all knowing that their actions caused this. Even if Shinra framed them for it, even if Shinra were the bad guys who killed all these people and everyone’s homes, there’s no doubt that what Tifa and Barret did ended up pushing them into doing this, and it’s hard to have to carry such a burden. On another note, I never thought I would complain about this because I loved the shipping fanservice in the beginning, but can we please calm down with the amount of times Cloud has to hold and save Tifa in some way?! Yes, I like Tifa too, but I’m not sure if there was a battle or scene where Cloud did not save Tifa/Aerith or hold their hand or something. Like yes it’s nice to see, but it’s honestly too much, I’m dying. I feel like a lot of the time it’s pushing the romance more than anything and it kills me because the original prioritised telling the story. And honestly, if you think about it, it’s kinda weird, they make it seem like Tifa and Cloud are really close friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time, but in reality they’re practically strangers in a sense because when they were children, Tifa never really thought much of him, the only time something about Cloud resonated with her was when he told her he was leaving to go become a SOLDIER and probably when he came to her rescue (fulfilling their promise) when Sephiroth slashed her. And it was only after she received letters from Cloud after he joined Shinra that she began to notice him more, so honestly, if we’re to be picky, this was supposed to be a more awkward period between Cloud and Tifa because Tifa liked and cared about him, but she didn’t know how to show it properly since Cloud always liked her but she never really cared. Whereas for Cloud, his memories are jumbled, so he’s awkward with her for a different reason lol. Anyway, I think I would have just liked more tension between their relationship? Because right now, it just feels like everyone loves Cloud because he’s cold but soft on the inside, so he’s a great cinnamon roll or whatever, but it really doesn’t show the depth to their characters and their relationships. I’m starting to think this remake is really just fanservice for old FFVII fans rather than a proper retelling. I mean, I’ll still like it, but it’s just a bit sad.

Well, Shinra Company is fancy. Tifa jumping on the lights to get the Shinra keycard was interesting but honestly tedious, I think I’ve had enough of these tbh lol. Anyway, I was going to run up the stairs in this remake, but then I realised the camera was making me feel sick so I just went back to what I did in the original; bust in the front door and go on the elevator lol. Although I have to say, I honestly enjoyed the original more where it had more of the feel where we’re busting in from the front door haha. That memorial museum was pretty, but honestly boring lol. Like, whyyyy is there so much maintenance going on?! I seriously thought they did a full on museum tour and I was like, that’s pretty cool, but no, I learnt basically nothing, sigh. Maybe that VR movie was cool to see, especially since it kinda explains that Ancients were the ones who discovered Mako energy and helped create materia, and I guess the graphics were pretty. But I think it felt like such a spoiler to show Sephiroth walking in the Shinra building, it just doesn’t really build any tension. I really only wanted to see the blood trail lol. Anyway, Hart is someone I don’t remember at all so I assume he’s a new character? Or is he that guy who you had to decipher those codes to or something? Haha. But anyway, I guess if he’s been changing the security camera feeds then does that mean Cloud and them won’t get locked up in a cell? Okay, the Shinra building was so… uneventful and boring lol. Like, I wasn’t exactly looking for a replica but I honestly thought it would be more…fun? It was legit so boring and so not memorable compared to the original. No code deciphering, no plate moving, no special treasure chests, no running past guards secretly, nothing! Literally just that Shinra training facility and other useless things like the museum and archives that don’t even have books to read! I think the most enjoyable thing was going around trashing the chairs everywhere because I didn’t even mean to move them, but Cloud running around just naturally destroys them lol. Yes, totally infiltrating “quietly”. But seriously, Shinra building is definitely a letdown right now. Scarlet’s ruthlessness was just...whatever too lol.

Sigh, I kinda really wanted to see the gym and the napping room lolll. I guess it was nice that we got to see them go through the air duct in the bathroom to spy on the President’s meeting, but stilllll. I mean, they didn’t even let me explore the women’s bathroom! C'mon! I don’t need this kind of realism in my game! I want to explore!! Maybe I’m just getting ahead of myself and it’ll be better.. Anyway, Hojo looks as creepy as the person that he is lmaoo, and being Reeve is suffering, considering he’s the only one that seems to care about the people. The idea of Hojo having all these monsters in his research lab is disturbing lol.  I found the explanation and existence of the Whisperers…unnecessary, they’re basically things that are there to stop the party from changing the predetermined fate of this world. Like, I kinda knew already with considering where they always appeared etc but ugh. Oh well, whatever. Red XIII is pretty hot. He looks older than I thought though, he looks more like what I would expect his father to look like tbh lol, I mean Bugenhagen always said Red XIII was practically a kid in terms of his species lifespan!! 

I’m sad that the Turks Theme doesn’t have that clicky sound to it that made it sound cool anymore, sigh. I’m also kindaaa disappointed that they seem to be pushing with the Turks the idea that they’re quite..nice? Like, maybe it’s just me, but despite how “cool and nice” the Turks were in the original, what I loved about them the most was their work ethic and how it’s a lot of dirty work, but it’s their job and they have a sense of pride to it.  Whereas sometimes in this remake, I kinda feel like, they question their job too much when they know what it entails? Like, I really wanted to see Rude catch us in the elevator LOL. Anyway, Sephiroth appearing near Jenova and slashing the bridge they were standing on in retaliation of Cloud attacking him was interesting…not too sure what to think about it right now because it felt rather random tbh lol. I guess we are definitely not getting the jail cell time, which is more disappointing than the boring Shinra building tbh. Not only did the cell time really give you time to bond with everyone in their cells, it also really highlighted how sudden and scary it was to see a trail of blood, and all these Shinra company men’s bodies as you slowly climb the stairs to realise what happened.

Btw, lmao at Red XIII pushing down handles, it looks so awkward because it seemed like he was struggling so bad hahahah. The Drum was an annoying place, I hated changing materia around between the two parties. Like whyyy can’t I just change the whole line of weapon and armour materia (like in the original) instead of slowly doing it one by one?! Aside from that, this was a boring place too lol. I guess the only nice thing was seeing Tifa and Aerith get along so well lol. Anyway, Jenova’s blood trail was much more pretty and fascinating than ominous tbh lol, it really gives a completely different feel to the actual blood trail in the original. It’s cool in its own regards though I guess. Okayyy, wow, I’m starting to think that this is becoming pretty ridiculous. Like it was obvious Barret won’t die because you know, these Whispers know that it’s not his fate to die here, so of course they’ll somehow save him, but now it’s just silly? Like, sure it’s not his fate to die here but was Barret such a crucial person to the “fate” that can’t be changed? Anyway, so basically everything that happened in the original is probably the “fate” that must be followed, but at the same time they’re just changing up things to make it as convenient as they want to for the story. Honestly, that segment with Barret and President Shinra was so cliche, I wanted to bang my head watching it because it was so unnecessary. I think he should have just died like in the original. Like all the mental agony of saving him or not, and then President Shinra showing how much of a crap he is was just so ugh, like was that really important? What did we expect him to be like? Did we really need to see this? Even seeing the sword pierce them was so whatever at that point because I’m starting to think the story is realllyyyyyy getting “basic”. Also, showing Wedge being here but not being able to change or do anything because “he’s not a part of fate” was just ridiculous. Like seriously, we get it, don’t these Whispers have anything better to do? I mean, I really wouldn’t say that the original timeline is the best timeline to follow for this world but okay, whatever they want.

Anyway, I’m sad that Rufus doesn’t have orange hair!! Hahaha, but that’s fine, since he still looks pretty hot. I love how he still has his dog!! Rufus was so annoying though, like seriously, I’ve had enough of bosses that just counterattack you, and you have to find the exact moment for an opening to deal damage zzzz. Otherwise, it was really cool to fight Rufus, this was starting to become the only thing I was looking forward to lol. Kinda sad you don’t actually fight Arsenal(?) that robot in the elevator anymore though. The fight took so long because I didn’t realise what I was supposed to be doing lolll. Cloud is taking lessons from Roche in getting crazy with the motorbike haha, seriously though, the motorbike and the blue car is so nostalgic. I did enjoy how alike the original, if you bothered looking (well it was more obvious in the remake) you actually see the motorbike and the car in the building haha. Not sure about Cloud throwing his sword scaring off the Shinra soldiers though, like dude, your sword could have fallen out of the building! Anyway, I knew it was coming, but I honestly hoped it didn’t, and that is…the second round of the motorbike game!!! Yes, the thing I sucked at the most in the original and in this remake as well, and what do you know, they just upped the difficulty with a boss! Not gonna lie, I legit died a few times because I had no idea how I was supposed to kill him, and when I realised how to do it, my skills were lacking, so yes, it took me a while. I was pretty frustrated lol, I mean, snowboarding is my worst enemy too but I never had to do it more than once! This game is just bullying people like me who suck at this mini game, sigh T_T It is pretty cool though. HOWEVER, it would have made life much easier if Red XIII threw a potion at me whenever I was dying and not just in between the battles, sighhh~

Anyway, this whole going into another dimension that Aerith says will change the course of events where we’ll now forge our own destiny or whatever by killing the Whispers who are trying to convene fate to be as it should flow like in the original story is…weird to say the least of it. Sephiroth wasn’t too difficult to beat, but I found the whole fight in this place weird and cliche, with all the “memories” of the original timeline coming to Cloud and them, and for them to destroy all that to change their fate. Okay, Zack is alive? Like, I was kinda thinking it would be interesting and funny if Zack were to survive but hmmm, not sure what to think of it. Well, the different dog probably indicates it’s a different timeline/world but that doesn’t really stop the writers from creating a story where he can jump to their world or whatever. Biggs is alive? Is everyone alive lol? Like, I guess Cloud and everyone are planning to alter fate so ensuring everyone survives is what they want, but at the same time, I’m just baffled at this ending. I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. It really doesn’t help that the dialogue is so… bland? Useless? It’s so flowery with no substance imo. Maybe in the next part we’ll get to see Zack’s new world line from his perspective and then their worlds can connect or something lol. Anyway! I’ll say, I don’t like or dislike the ending because honestly, with all the changes that happened with the Shinra company, I already lowered my expectations to the max lol, it also helped the ending was kinda spoiled to me before I even played the game, so I knew it wouldn’t be a faithful remake, but is instead more of a FFVII-2 kinda deal. But I still find the way things played out really disjointed and cliche. The whole chapter 18 suffered the most in dialogue and story tbh, because honestly, I’m not sure if people who haven’t played the original would really get it, and would they really get the importance of Zack lol. It’s just annoying that they decided to throw all this at the end when everything else was Shinra and Shinra. And yeah, I see why they made the Aerith and Cloud “romance” so subtle you couldn’t feel anything about it, it’s probably because they want to make it more of a Aerith and Zack thing for this remake, which is understandable, but kinda saddening because that changes a lot of things in terms of how you’ll feel about it all.

Overall Review Overall, let me attempt to put together how I feel about the whole thing. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about how to write down my feelings for days or weeks but I still don’t know what to say of this disappointment LOL. Tbh, I think the thing I would have appreciated the most would be Square Enix telling me that this wouldn’t be a faithful adaptation of the original with HD graphics and extended story/scenes. Because if I didn’t have that expectation, I wouldn’t have felt as mixed about the ending as I am now. People seem to hate on people for being disappointed at expecting that it would be a faithful adaptation, but really, what did you want a lot of the old fans to expect? The game itself is riding on a nostalgia train yet it’s our fault for thinking it would be faithful? Even the Japanese commercial rode on the nostalgia train with a guy happily talking about the iconic scenes in the original and being excited that he’ll be able to experience the remake with people who don’t know it. They clearly wanted old fans to join the hype and then sucker punched them to the gut with the ending. Thankfully, I knew what was coming so I survived but honestly, aside from hopefully still getting to see other iconic scenes, I’m not really interested in how the story will play out. I hate stories involving stuff like time travel and branching timelines etc most of the time, especially when time travel is not the main focus of the story. This isn’t something like Chrono Trigger. I think my biggest problem though was that considering how much of a slow burn 80% of the game was, the fact that once we got to the Shinra building, everything just lacked detail and felt so rushed into that...ending. My biggest problem isn’t the ending itself, but how everything led to that ending, because it was really dissatisfying to watch. Like, honestly, on paper, it’s not a bad idea, it would be interesting to see how things could play out with the unknown etc, but really, the way they did it with the obnoxious Whispers throughout the story, alongside the out of nowhere ending really killed the experience.

I’m probably being whiny at this point but really, the main gripe I have with the ending is that it makes me think that the writers thought it would be “boring” to just redo the original with extended stories because “everyone knows the story already” kinda thing, and it also kinda implies as if the original was “perfect as it is”, which I honestly have to disagree with. I love the original FFVII but honestly, a lot of things could have been told better without feeling as disjointed as some things were, like it was nice to uncover bits and pieces etc, but a lot of things also relied on you yourself to find it, so it’s easy to miss things. For example, without a walkthrough, I honestly didn’t realise there was that scene in the Shinra mansion where you could actually see Zack die. I also feel like integrating Yuffie and Vincent in the story more would have been something good to focus on in the original because Wutai is important, the Lucrecia, Hojo and Vincent story is important, but because they were optional, it wasn’t always something people found. I just feel like for the story FFVII is, it was really unnecessary to make it more convoluted than it is, because now it’s just detracting from what made this game good. Like, maybe it might be interesting with this time travel stuff, but at the same time, this isn’t really FFVII anymore, all it has is iconic scenes in HD as fanservice. Which kinda makes me mad, because they so blatantly shove in your face FFVII fanservice for like 90% of the game and then they just show this ending, like okay. I’m not even sure the Weapons are that important anymore because who needs them to come out to protect the planet if the Whispers (like really, are they even dead?) are around? It’s just the stakes for everything have become so high where it’s involving fate and time travel etc. what is the point of the stuff that are limited to being inside this planet that is being controlled by the Whispers of fate? Well, whatever, I could complain all day here and I would still feel dissatisfied.

Anyway, nevertheless, I still enjoyed most of the game. I had my gripes here and there with the changes, but most of it was done really well, and I still liked it a lot. I mean, Wall Market is so beautiful and went beyond my expectations! The detail they put into the graphics and stuff really blew me away and I couldn’t stop taking screenshots. I also liked how they made Avalanche a bit more personal to Cloud. Although I really enjoyed seeing Aerith, Tifa and Cloud fanservice though, sometimes I felt like the scenes were just that, like just fanservice and it kinda got tedious. The side quests throughout the game were also quite boring imo. Like, I don’t expect anything groundbreaking from them, but they were really boring story wise and gameplay wise. The “puzzles” such as climbing across on those hand bars were so tedious and slow, I was annoyed lol, it’s so clunky to do! I’ll take the stupid crane any day. And the battle AI kills me. I know you’re supposed to swap between characters to build up ATB but man would I appreciate if the ATB charged up faster or if the AI wasn’t so useless. Barret not doing his job shooting sentry turrets and Tifa guarding against enemies not attacking her from ten miles away made me want to strangle someone. Like, it’s not terrible, but it definitely wasn’t enjoyable enough for me to care about playing hard mode. Lol, I’m back to complaining, but honestly, if I played the remake without knowing the original, aside from the graphics, I’m not sure if I was really into the story at all. Not saying it’s bad, but Midgar was always kinda like the beginning of the beginning so it’s really not that interesting in itself, and the bland story telling didn’t help imo, I guess the good thing was that it solidified everyone’s relationships? Anyway, I’ll still play the other parts because it’s FFVII but I think if it becomes something like Lightning Returns etc, I really just might drop it. For now, I’ll just go along with the ride, right now, things are just a 7/10~

P.S I think what I’m most sad about right now is that I won’t have the same feelings I had when I bought the remake. Since I live in Australia, the copies were sold before April 10th, so really, I cancelled my pre-order and went to the store and bought it myself after work. I was really excited to have it and get to play it because even though a lot of the things weren’t the same, it felt really nice to relive that experience of joining Cloud and them on their journey again. I really liked it and thought the reinterpretation to fit the more serious mood and everything was nice, but I’m honestly disappointed that I won’t be as excited to continue the journey in the next part. It’s the first time in a long time since I felt so excited for a game to come out, so it’s saddening, but I guess this is what it is.

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs “terminator: dark fate”, part 3

Sarah Connor knows how to make an entrance.

(parts one and two)

This is in the trailer, and it's just as epic here. The focus on her boots. Then rising up to her face--complete with bulletproof vest, shades, and GIANT GUN as she opens fire. YASSSS, MY QUEEN.

The human-looking part of the Rev-9 runs for Dani but Sarah shoots him off the bridge before he can get her, then drops the gun, switches to AN EVEN BIGGER GUN and fires at the skeleton who is doing that same inhuman back arch to lurch to its feet, and he goes flying in an explosion and lies still. Then she tosses THAT gun away, and goes to peer over the edge for the first half, where the Rev-9 is impaled and twitching and already regenerating. Then she tosses the grenade over the edge, says "I'll be back," in a badass monotone and walks away as Grace registers wtf just happened and pulls Dani away from the explosion, shielding her with her body.

Sarah pulls out YET ANOTHER GUN as the grenade explodes, and keeps on walking without breaking stride. FUCK YEAH.

"Who the fuck is that?" Dani rightly asks.

"I don't know," says Grace, who is hyperventilating and red in the face, and quite deservedly tired. "But we have to move!" And she runs to pick up Sarah's discarded gun and steals her SUV. I’M HOWLING.

Dani is like, "maybe we shouldn't steal this scary woman's car," and Grace is like, "gtfo or die," and they drive away. Sarah is about to dispatch the REV-9, but sees them driving and stalks off in a huff as the REV-9 re-congeals out of the fire.

(I honestly wonder what would have happened if Sarah had taken the time to dispatch the REV-9 ‘properly’ but then this movie would be very, very short, so I’ll give it a pass.)

Grace is dehydrated. Dani's have a breakdown. Grace breaks the news that her father is dead. "It needs physical contact to copy people and they don't survive." Is that an inherent part of the process?? I don't think so, because the T-1000 copied Sarah and she was fine, it's just because they usually KILL THEM AFTERWARDS, it's not a REQUIREMENT or anything. But I give Grace a pass for not going into the details because Dani is already traumatized enough. 

The skeleton stalks down the highway past a dude who looks SO CONFUSED while EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE and the fleshy-looking part starts walking in front of the skeleton and then they MERGE holy SHIT THAT'S CREEPY and there's STILL NO EXPRESSION on his face OH MY GOD.

Grace starts crashing (physically), which is bad because she's driving, so they almost crash for real. Grace faints, so Dani has to drive, oh, wait she can't, yep that ended badly. Dani stalks off to go to the police, while Grace is SO RED and can barely walk, until Grace explains that’s such a bad idea, and all the cops will die. She ends up putting Grace in the back seat and says she'll figure out the driving bit, FUCK YEAH. did I mention I love her?

Grace robs a pharmacy for her meds, much to Dani's surprise and chagrin. Grace collapses, so Dani has to grab the gun before anybody else can and finish the job to get them out. PLEASE NOTE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME DANI HAS HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW REAL AGENCY*, AND SHE MAKES THE CHOICE TO SIDE WITH GRACE INSTEAD OF LETTING THE AUTHORITIES TAKE HER AWAY. The assistant helps her haul Grace out, and Dani makes a split second decision to trust him which turns out to be justified, because he doesn't try to hurt them.

[[*ok, technically, she showed agency before when she made the decision not to go to the cops, but there’s a big difference between that scene and pulling a fucking gun on innocent people during a robbery. And she only has like a second to decide if she’s gonna do it or not, vs. the conscious deliberation in the previous scene. This is the moment where Dani’s all-in, the moment where there’s no going back.]]

Sarah Connor is waiting for them outside. FUCK YEAH. and she is PISSED. She takes Dani's gun -- "give me that before you hurt yourself," as Dani just fucking STARES.LEGEND.

Cut to them driving through town with Grace sprawled in the backseat with her head in Dani's lap as Sarah drives, and her sunglasses are reflected in the rearview mirror. Dani claims she's just Dani... a nobody, and Sarah says she's got to be somebody for them to send whatever Grace is to protect her. Then she asks for Dani's phone and tosses it out the window.I cannot believe Dani didn’t see that one coming, but she’s had a long day.

Cut to a hotel room, dropping ice cubes on Grace, like you do. "We should have done this in the bathtub," Dani complains. "Have you SEEN the bathtub?" Sarah retorts. Also: a fuck-ton of Lay's potato chips.

"I keep my cell phone in a chip bag. The foil blocks the GPS so they can't track me." CHIP BAG. THE PUN HERE.

"I'm wanted in a couple states," Sarah admits. "Fifty, actually." (she means US, I assume, I doubt she's a wanted felon in Mexico, but...).  

"Why ten bags?"

"Because I really like potato chips." I'M HOWLING.

(are there costcos in Mexico? Just saying.)

Dani grieves over how her father and brother will die unmourned and unburied and you can see the blankness on Sarah's face, how that's so far removed from anything she's ever known for decades. "Funerals don't help them and goodbyes don't help you. You just have to learn to live with it."

Which is a) the truest advice Sarah knows, and b) SO FUCKING SAD THAT IT'S COME TO THIS OH MY GOODDDDDDD.

Sarah pumping Grace with meds and just figuring it will all work out is so in character, and also a nice contrast to her first introduction to battlefield medicine under the bridge in T1. How far she’s come...

Time for a flashback from the future while Grace is unconscious and dreaming!!

God the future war scenes are so bleak and awful and barren and boring to me I can't believe people want a whole film like this, especially when we already know that humans win and the Commander can’t die, so there’s not a lot to milk for suspense.

The Rev-7 bursting out of another Rev-7 is so fucking CREEPY I can't even--

Hey, Grace is rescued and I love the medic (a black lady!) and Grace volunteers to be an augment! I legit thought she was going to say "tribute," lol.

...I don't understand how augmentation works, though. How can they have surgery so good and so clean when everything else is rubble? Are they literally cutting apart Terminators and wiring them into Grace? WHERE DO THEY GET THE PARTS?? I WANT TO KNOW and I don't think this movie's going to explain.

Sarah wakes up Grace by pointing a gun at her and gets disarmed, having locked Dani out of the room, but Grace lets her back in. Sarah's look is withering: "Sometimes, mommies and daddies have to have grown-up discussions." I'M HOWLING. EVERYTHING LINDA HAMILTON SAYS IN THIS MOVIE IS GOLD. Also, I like how neither Dani nor Grace denies this. Maybe they’re just too stunned? I know I would be. 

(also notice how Sarah’s not smoking?? I guess potato chips are the new cigarettes)

Sarah explains some things. Her expression when Grace says she's never heard of Skynet--"Good."--is PRICELESS.

"Where's your son now?" OW OW OW OW OH MY HEART

"I hunt Terminators." RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINNNNNNNNNE AAHHHHH "And I drink til I black out."

Oh, Sarah. I'm so sorry. so so so sorry.

I'll have more things to say about the digital trail later, so this is just a placeholder for now.

That moment where Sarah puts her shades on. Hot damn. Interview and openness OVER indeed.

Grace threatens Sarah, who is unimpressed. "Great! I drive." DRIVING AS A METAPHOR, Y'ALL.

"Legion...an AI built for cyber warfare."

I've seen people pissed that Skynet was erased and replaced by a similar-but-different AI and maybe it's because I love parallel universes and AUs so much, or maybe it's because the Terminator movies represent our relationship with and fears of technology, but I think this was a valid choice and I approve. Because, as Sarah points out, "Those assholes never learn." No. No, we don't.

Sarah pulls off her shades to admit she gets texts from someone she doesn't know, WHICH IS FURTHER PROOF THAT THE SUNGLASSES REPRESENT SHIELDING FROM EMOTIONS/VULNERABILITY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Grace hacking Sarah's phone -- "future shit"-- is hilarious, thank you very much, and I love that the PHONE CONTINUES TO BE A TRACKING DEVICE THROUGH ALL THREE FILMS BUT FOR ENTIRELY DIFFERENT REASONS. But won't the gov't/terminator/somebody find her through it now that it's out of the chip bag??? How is she getting texts if her phone is always in a chip bag? When is it safe for her to take it out??

Grace has tattoos on her body - "in case I can't remember shit" AHHAHAHHAHAHA, that's hilarious.

Sarah was on America's Most Wanted?? I bet she was. She should add that to her resume, lol.

Ohhh, that's clever that the same plot device gets them to both Carl and Sarah. I like it.

crossing the border is not this easy, but I don't think American audiences can handle that level of realism, and this isn't that kind of film, so... *shrugs*

The Rev-9 is in the data center and it's so creepy. All he has to do is plunge his hands into the cables, and... facial recognition software does the rest. (I don’t think it’s ever stated directly, but I headcanon that LEGION IS A ROGUE AI MEANT TO CONTROL PEOPLE BASED ON FACIAL RECOGNITION SOFTWARE, so it's totally in keeping with its nature.)

On the train, Sarah is eating potato chips. LOVE IT. I don't even like potato chips, per se, but it's a fun character detail and more culturally acceptable than smoking in films these days (the irony!)

flashback to bby!Grace seeing the plane crash and I'm all like I'VE SEEN THE TRAILER, I KNOW THAT'S CHEKHOV'S FLIGHT 3000 TO FORESHADOWING, more plane crashes are definitely coming.

Because the Terminator films reflect our own fears back on us, it's interesting to see how those fears have changed. Now the end of the world is more complex - technology suddenly going dead, then launching nukes and EMPs, THEN world war - fighting over food with humans WHILE being hunted by Legion. It's the same in outline and yet different from Skynet's quick and dirty nuclear war.

Sarah interjects to guess the leader of the Resistance is Dani's son, which is a) a reasonable guess under the circumstances and given the history of this franchise, and b) political commentary about what many Americans fear, namely non-white "Mexican" (as a catch-all term for anybody brown) immigrants and their children coming into their country. It also makes the inevitable subversion--that DANI is the leader, not some man--so much more pointed when it comes, as the franchise critiques ITSELF. still, I kinda wish they dealt with that here, instead of later, though. 

Sarah also makes the "Mother Mary" comparison, which is so funny given the obvious overtones to her own son (his initials are J.C.!) and lampshading the fact this is the first time in-universe that anyone has mentioned the parallels.

Now they're off the train and in a truck, with Dani's head in Grace's lap, yay parallels. Poor Sarah is probably wishing Kyle had been augmented, then maybe he could be there too (why is Michael Biehn not in this movie?? sob).

I'm not sure how the REV-9 just up and assumes they're going to Laredo just because that's where the train goes, especially since they then jump off the train for this... side-quest? What's up with that?? Does the train not go to the border?  

Oh, okay, this is where her uncle lives. Dani tries telling him the truth. It goes poorly. Grace slices a fly in half. Wow.

It's nice to see a black guy and an Asian dude on the border, but my relief lasts for ten seconds because they get sliced up by the Rev-9 posing as a woman of color, oi...

still creepy when he merges with the machine, and how does he know what he's looking for on the panopticon? can drones see faces at that distance? Can he?? I'm so confused.

Of course he tells the Border Patrol that Grace, Dani, and Sarah are members of a drug cartel and sets the authorities after them...

Of course there's a door underneath the wall. of course there is. Random dude goes first, which means he is dead meat. Oh, there was an ambush, but Dani makes the decision they're going to surrender, so I guess no one's dying here?

Sarah is lying to the authorities about being related to Grace, because of her medical condition. Good for her.

Grace senses the drone about to kill Dani and moves to save her! I guess it's going to take the Rev-9 a while to figure out she's not dead?

Dani is in detention and sounds like a crazy person trying to explain the truth. By the way, SETTING THIS SCENE AT THE BORDER CROSSING IS HELL OF A POLITICAL STATEMENT, FYI.

Grace is getting medical care, and they find her drugs. "Nice body search, fellas." Of course, they figure out she's an augment...is this going to influence the future in the same way that Cyberdyne’s discovery of the T1′s head and arm influenced Skynet??

Sarah and the other dude who got picked up with them have a plan. Good.  Let the ass-kicking begin.

[chungledown-bimothy]

Trust Me: Chapter 6

I’m so sorry it too so long- for some reason, I just couldn’t get into Virgil’s head for this one. Thank you so much for your patience <3 

Chapter 1 Chapter 5 AO3 Chapter 7

Warnings: swearing, mention of death/funerals, brief mention of homophobia (it’s as fluffy as this one’s gonna get, y’all)

Word Count: 2023

Tag List: @ccecode​ @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn​ @ren-allen​ @ilovemygaydad​ @bloodropsblog​ @funsizedgremlin​ @raygelkitty​ @roxiefox23​ @thomasthesandersengine​ @spookyingarbageisland​ @band-be-boss-blog​

Thursday

Virgil stared at the empty conversation for what felt the millionth time, trying to find the right words. Fuck it. I need to just do this. Like a bandaid. I can do this.

[To:Patton]- Hey Patton, this is Virgil.

[To:Patton]- From your coffee shop the other day.

Fuck, that was bad. Well, there's nothing I can do about it now. He opened the case files he brought home to review, trying to distract himself, but gave up after about 10 minutes and started watching The Office for the fifteenth time. He was three episodes in when his phone went off.

[Patton]- Hi!! I hope this doesn't come across as pushy or anything, but do you wanna go out sometime? I'm really bad at communicating through text, and I think you're really cute

[Virgil<3]- it totally doesn't. Yeah, I'd love to meet up. What are you up to on Saturday?

[Patton]- Going to the de Young with you, hopefully? I have a membership

[Virgil<3]- That would be amazing!! I've been dying to go see the Monet exhibition.

[Patton]- Me too! I'll pick you up at noon on Saturday, then?

[Virgil<3]- Sounds great!

[Patton]- I can't wait! I guess I don't need to ask where you live lol

[Virgil<3]- haha yeah I guess not. I'll see you then :)

Virgil put his phone down and took a deep breath. Holy SHIT am I really doing this?? Patton's so cute, but I'm a mess. But it's Monet at the de Young, and Patton seems so… good. Like, too good for me. God, I'm really good fuck this up, aren't I?

[Patton]- Take a deep breath; it's gonna be great. There's absolutely no need to worry :)

… Holy fuck I'm so gay. Patton had attached a selfie with a huge smile and a thumbs-up.

-

Saturday

Taking a deep breath, Virgil looked in the mirror and adjusted his tie. He didn't even wear ties to work, but a date to see Monet's works in person deserved better than his everyday work attire, let alone his usual weekend outfit of a t-shirt, an old hoodie with purple plaid patches, and black jeans. He tried not to think about the last time he wore the black tie, but he couldn't shut the train of thought off fast enough.

-

It's raining. Of course it is. He loved the rain so much; it's only fitting it's raining when we have to say goodbye.

"He'd hate that we're all here being sad, you know. He'd say we were being lame and that he deserves something more fabulous. He'd also be pissed that I'm talking to you, not him, at an event about him, even if it is his funeral. So, Remy, you dramatic, self-absorbed ass, I'm standing in front of all of these people, and I'm gonna talk to just you.

First of all, I'm more sorry than I can say. You told me he would be willing to break his rules, and I didn't trust you. You were always right, and I hated that. If you were here, you'd tell me to shut the fuck up and say that I know I love you. I absolutely and completely love you. And that's why it kills me that I couldn't protect you. You weren't just my partner, you were my best friend, and I failed at the absolute minimum. God, Remy, you deserved so much better. I'm sorry I couldn't be better.

But fuck this melancholy shit. You told me once that you wanted to put the 'fun' in funeral. So, everybody," Virgil continued, addressing the crowd again, "as Remy said so often, 'let's cut the shit and drink'. Scandals downtown is ready and waiting for us to fuck shit up in his memory."

-

Coming back to the present, Virgil wiped the tear from his cheek and rolled up the sleeves of his purple dress shirt. Patton's gonna be here any minute; I need to finish getting ready.

Before he knew it, there was a knock at the door. He took a deep breath and was glad he did when he opened the door and briefly forgot how to breathe, because standing there on his doorstep was 5 feet and 7 inches of the most beauty Virgil had ever seen in one person. Patton wasn't the most conventionally attractive- whereas society as a whole prized hard lines and defined muscles, Patton was soft lines and the kindest eyes imaginable. Virgil couldn't explain why, but Patton exuded kindness and trustworthiness. He didn't realize he'd been staring until the sound of a throat clearing startled him.

"Oh, um, I was staring, huh?" Virgil asked, embarrassed.

Patton nodded, blushing. "Yeah, but I was too. You look really good."

"Thanks, you do too, but I guess you already knew that I feel that way." In his efforts to avoid eye contact, Virgil noticed the pin on Patton's shirt- simply reading 'they/them'. "Are those your pronouns?"

"Yeah, they are." Patton's posture immediately shifted- standing straighter and narrowing their eyes. "Is that a problem?"

"Not in the slightest." He smiled when Patton visibly relaxed, their megawatt smile returning in full force.

"Wonderful! Now, let's go see some art almost as beautiful as you. I'll drive." Patton winked and started walking. It took Virgil a second to remember how to breathe, let alone move, but he quickly caught up once he did. He stopped short again when he saw their car- a classic black VW Beetle in perfect condition.

"Holy shit, Patton. Your car is gorgeous."

"Oh my goodness thank you! She was my dad's."

"Like I said, it's- she's beautiful. Maintenance must be a nightmare, though. What year is she?"

"1955. Maintenance isn't that bad- my dad taught me how to keep her in shape after I came out in high school. He thought getting my hands dirty would turn me into 'a real man'."

"Shit, I'm sorry, Pat." They shrugged.

"It's no big deal. Joke's on him- I'm still queer as hell, but now I can keep this beauty in good shape. Get in! She's old, but she won't bite!" Laughing, Virgil got in the car, and they left for the museum.

-

"Monet was a founder of Impressionism as a counterpoint to Realism, which had been popular for about ten years before Impressionism started developing and twenty-four years before the term Impressionism was first used.

Realism grew in popularity with the rise of photography; artists wanted their works to look objectively real, and strove to remove emotion. They largely focused on the working class and depicted life as it was, without any sentimentality or heroism.

Monet never really bought into that. His early works works, though chronologically in the Realism era, were always painted with intense emotion, and he rarely painted people. He began playing with the concept that what we understand of reality is just our perception, and he was far from alone in those thoughts. Marx held that belief as well, going further and saying that all we have in our minds are ideologies, not facts or truths, and they act as filters, shaping everything we experience.

Rousseau died two centuries before the rise of Impressionism, but he summed up the philosophy well when he said 'I feel before I think'. Monet's paintings, while indistinct and 'messy' up close, evoke strong emotion only when one looks at the piece as a whole. We feel it before we get close enough to see and think about what it's really made of." Strictly speaking, Virgil didn't need to be speaking softly into Patton's ear with his hand on their waist, standing so closely behind them that he could feel the movement of their chest with each breath. Neither of them, however, would ever dream of complaining.

Patton reluctantly stepped out of Virgil's embrace and turned to look at him in awe. "That's incredible, Virgil. How do you know all that?"

"Oh, um, thanks. I really like art philosophy, and Monet is my favorite artist. I dunno, something about making order out of chaos is really calming."

"I feel the same way! Life is sorta like a puzzle, or Monet's brush strokes. Each one, taken individually, doesn't make much sense. We all feel and experience things like that, things that are confusing or sometimes even scary. But as we keep going, we find more and more pieces, and things make more and more sense. Feeling like a half-missing puzzle set is okay, as long as we remember the big picture. If any of that makes sense." Patton chuckled nervously, scratching behind his ear.

"No, it made perfect sense. What would you say the big picture is?"

"Well, I'd say it's doing as much good as possible. Whether it's big things, like being a doctor, firefighter, or teacher, like my brother, or small things, like putting a smile on someone's face with a pun or a good cup of coffee. It's our duty as people to make the world around us a better place, however we can."

"That's a really beautiful way of looking at things, Patton." Virgil gave them a small smile. He started to say more, but he was interrupted by the growling of his stomach. "Oh, shit. I was so nervous this morning, I forgot to eat. Wanna go to the cafe and get lunch? My treat, since you still haven't let me pay you back for the coffee."

"I told you, it was a gift! And don't think for a second that I didn't notice that you tipped almost triple what you would have paid if I had charged you." Their smirk was only slightly lessened by the fact that they had to tilt their head back slightly to make eye contact.

"You got me there, but I'm still buying. No, stop that- no amount of puppy dog eyes can change my mind."

"Well, you can't blame a guy for trying." Patton shrugged. "Alright, let's go get some food. You're already almost alarmingly skinny- if we don't get some food in you, you might disappear altogether." Patton started walking backwards towards the cafe, not breaking eye contact.

"Hey! I'm a perfectly normal weight for my height." Virgil started walking too, shaking his head.

"Which is what, 6'3? You need to eat more than the average person, not less. Skipping meals isn't good for you, kiddo."

"I know that. You're just really cute, and I got nervous," he admitted, blushing.

"Flattery will get you everywhere. Now come on, let's eat." They winked before turning around and skipping away. Virgil followed, completely smitten.

------------------------------

"Mr. Dean, a minute?" Logan called after his least favorite student. It was almost 7 pm- students on campus at this hour outside of football season was unheard of, and the last game of the season was weeks ago.

"Greetings and salutations, Mr. Reed. It's JD, though. Mr. Dean is my father." He sauntered to Logan, disdain clear on his face. Logan couldn't be sure if it was towards himself, Mr. Dean, or both.

"Yes, erm, JD, what are you doing on campus so late? Your attendance record in my class alone indicates a disinclination towards being here during school hours, let alone so late."

"That's just the thing, Mr. Reed. No one wants me to be here now."

"Ah, I see. A contrarian. It's not safe to be out here alone, however. The sun set hours ago, and there's a killer on the loose, if the news is to be believed. Come with me, I'll drive you home."

"Thanks, sir, but I'm fine. I'm a fighter, you see. Let the bastard come after me- it'll be the last mistake he ever makes."

"Save the bravado for your peers. I will not take no for an answer- if anything happened to you, it would be on my conscience. My car is in the parking lot. Go." Logan commanded.

"If you insist." He gave a mocking bow before turning away from Logan and walking to the car. If he turned back around, he would have seen a cold, malicious smile spread across his teacher's face. He didn't turn around.

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #143

So in keeping with the recent trend of bringing back older characters, Watamote goes for a throwback and puts the OG trio into the spotlight. With Kii-chan, we got to experience how Tomoko managed to rekindle a previously strained relationship (somewhat). Will the Tomoko-Yuu-Komiyama team finally become a true circle? Or is it destined to exist as an awkwardly shaped, but cohesive oval? 

Chapter 143: Because I’m Not Popular, The Three Of Us Will Study Together

As always, Komi’s looking damn fine with her patented punk/goth style. Those open-shouldered skull shirt, slick choker, asymmetrical skirt, and striped leggings all come together to make her look like a total rockstar. It’s delightfully contrasted by the fact that’s she’s a pervert with a baseball obsession, but being fashion-conscious does help to round out her..unsavory side.

But, Yuu, sweetheart, as much as a skater dress looks good on you, you could do without the spikes. Granted, I’m hardly an authority on fashion, and in some circles, I’m sure it looks great. But it’s doesn’t seem as...flashy as she usually presents herself. Perhaps it’s because she’s with Tomoko and Komiyama that she doesn’t feel the pressure to be overtly stylish, and is more comfortable with something more subdued.

Man, the throwbacks just keep on comin’. What’s next, are they going to find Tomoko’s Yandere Boys Verbal Abuse CD hiding in her room?   

Friendly reminder that Tomoko is, was, and will always be a piece of shit.

That said, Tomoko isn’t the type to be mean just for the heck of it. Her usual targets like Komiyama and Yoshida are only targeted because it’s been made apparent that they can handle it. With Komi-something, Tomoko knows that she’s not utterly irredeemable, which is why she takes any opportunity she can to milk Komi’s indecency. Because otherwise, she’ll be the bitch, and that’s a line even Tomoko won’t cross.

This chapter should be titled, “-the four of us will study.”

Speaking of which, Yuu and Komiyama have never seen Tomoko’s big plushie before, right? They probably think that it’s evident of Tomoko’s hidden cute side but if they ever found out about all the questionable things Tomoko does to the poor thing, that idea is sure to be shattered.

I suppose I should address the elephant in the room and ask what the hell is it with Yuu and her incessant sweating? Not even down her face or anything, but it flies off her body. Could this be her unique way of expressing hidden anxiety? That’s a scary possibility, to be sure.

No, there’s supposed to be beer cans everywhere with inebriated kids playing footsie under the table that quickly escalated into necking and–oh, wait, this is reality. My bad.

Ah, so these are the friends that Yuu-chan often brings up but we’ve never really seen before. They certainly look like a lively bunch, though that’s really all one can say from a single panel. Granted, if Yuu's school does have relatively inferior academics, then I imagine there’s a bit more goofing off going on here than actual studying.

Same here. That’s the reason yours truly goes off to work at the local cafe rather work at home. Too many distractions and external stimuli at your abode, and no one to hold you accountable for slacking off.

Not entirely sure if this is a joke lost in translation, but apparently Komiyama is humming a ditty about the Chiba Lotte Marines, namely infielder Nakamura Shougo. That’s actually kinda cute.

Got nothin’ to say. Itou just looks adorable here. 

This, however, is decidedly NOT cute.

As the series’ resident purevert, Komiyama’s crush on Tomoki has always fluctuated between two extremes: innocent, schoolgirl affection and disturbingly fetishistic lust, and this line about, um...licking Tomoki’s eye circles falls way into the latter. For the record, I’m generally nonjudgmental about one’s unharmful sexual preferences–to each their own, you know–but given Komiyama’s history, I’m genuinely concerned for Tomoki’s wellbeing should the girl ever get her paws on him. 

Itou is canonically the strongest character in the whole series. Those powers of perception were gained through unfathomable amounts of mental destruction. 

Self-awareness? What self-awareness?

Is this going to be running gag now–Yuu innocently “complimenting” Komiyama with a between-the-lines insult?

I dig it.

Some may call it slacking, I call it strategic half-assery.

Ah, so Tomoko is officially aiming for a liberal arts school. For a girl who used to have zero prospects after high school, it’s uplifting to see Tomoko with an actual long-term goal in mind. It really is the only thing she’s reasonably passionate about, and the “starving artist” lifestyle actually fits pretty well with Tomoko’s approach to the world, so good for her.

Poor Yuu is never going to make it in the “real world”, is she?

Checking out the play-by-play when you’re supposed to be studying? Sometimes I forget that Komiyama actually has a cute side.

You know, given all the times when Tomoko and Komiyama are shitting at each other, these little bits of politeness between them are much more poignant. Sure, they’re being conscientious about it since Yuu’s there, but I can see this happening even if she wasn’t. See, Tomoko and Komiyama tend to mirror each other–insults are reciprocated with insults, and friendliness is reciprocated with friendliness. Even when they swing far on one side, something always pulls them back into equilibrium.

This would’ve been a good spot to put a gag here, with Komi expecting a strikeout only to explode with joy in front of her friends when the Lotte’s make an unexpected comeback. Instead, Nico Tanigawa goes for realism, validating the more pessimistic side of Komiyama. As for why they chose this route, I actually believe its to set up a little arc for Komi. As of now, baseball and Tomoko are her saving graces, and neither is looking good right now. Ultimately, this could lead to Komi facing the reality that dreams don’t always come true, and learning to accept that.

Yuu was definitely fishing for an answer to Nemo and Katou, and the fact that Tomoko doesn’t tell her right away is actually a good sign. Back in the old days, Tomoko would jump at the chance to “brag” about Yuu, her then-only friend because she was so insecure about their friendship falling apart. Since then, she’s made a number of meaningful friends, so that need to brag is long gone. 

I love seeing characters describe other characters they’ve barely interacted with. Komi does see Nemo as a girl in the “sorta-in-crowd” so it makes sense that she would see her as “flashy”.

Says the girl who also dresses super fashionably.

Shocked, but not resentful. It’s uplighting to see Komiyama take Tomoko’s relative popularity in stride, and it’s a feeling that’s been there since the Kyoto Field Trip Arc. Despite having very few friends herself, she’s never thought poorly of Tomoko when the girl gained more friendships. If anything, it made Komiyama see her in a slightly better light now that she knows Tomoko isn’t completely irredeemable. 

I could almost swear that Komi is doing that on purpose.

Cuties.

Everybody’s Golf is that PS4 game, correct? Good taste, this girl.

Shit, Tomoko, at least take her out to dinner first.

But it actually makes sense for why Tomoko brings it up like that. She knows that she’s at that stage in her relationship with Yuu that she just can’t casually molest her anymore (not that she should have been doing that in the first place, but still). Tomoko, the perv that she is, still has those shitty desires, but she’s more tactical about it. Like a politician. 

Lol! Tomoko is such a jokester!

...right?

This harks back to those times when Tomoko fantasized about being an arms dealer/mercenary. Naturally, that’s a far cry from wanting to be a golfer, which is much more grounded in reality. Even Tomoko’s reasons about the payload and being a woman carries merit. Sure, it’s ultimately a fleeting interest, but at least her dreams aren’t so...how should I say, destructive anymore.

Even deeper into the realm of reality is her interest in being an esports streamer. Being a millennial, it’s a perfectly understandable desire that fits into Tomoko’s work ethic and personality. Sure, her last experience as a streamer was an utter failure, but now she’s got a good grasp on what it really takes to be one. My guess about Komiyama doubts stem from her thinking that female streamers become popular largely on their sex appeal, which Tomoko evidently does not have by most accounts. 

Tomokitis (noun) – a rare disease characterized by an irrational lust for little brothers with baggy eyes named Tomoki. Prolonged exposure to Tomoki will worsen the lust to the point where mere proximity will trigger it. Those afflicted are forever hopeless.

As freaky as Komiyama is, I’m more impressed that her thirst for Tomoki overrides any disgust she may have at the possibility of being related to Tomoko. Well, Tomoki is basically a drug for her at this point, and junkies have accepted far worse to gain their fix.

Sploosh.

In the rare possibility that the universe decides to hook up Tomoki and Komiyama, Tomoko is going to make one hell of a cockblocker. 

Shoot, even the cat gets a return appearance. Nico Tanigawa are really putting out all the stops lately with the nostalgia, ain’t they? 

If memory serves, there isn’t a scene in the manga that shows Yuu being particularly interested in cats, so this was actually pulled straight from the anime. You know, that scene in the last episode where Yuu chases down a mentally broken Tomoko only to suddenly stop and pet a kitty? If they're willing to reference anime-original moments like that, then Nico Tanigawa must have fond memories of their anime adaptation.  

Is Yuu taking about the dog or Yoshida? :p 

Okay, so the dog. Wonder how she’d take to being compared to a pig?

First Pineapple-chan, and now Yuu-chan. It seems pretty mandatory that anybody outside of the loop would think that Yoshida was bullying Tomoko. Of course, once you realize that Tomoko has done things that would get her on the front page of a #MeeToo article, all bets are off.

Has Tomoko ever been this upfront about how she harasses Yuu? It was always my assumption that this was an unspoken reoccurrence between the two of them. At least the physical stuff anyway, as Tomoko is known for making “jokes” about getting Yuu knocked up. The poor girl really is too sweet for her own good.

While Yuu may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, that doesn’t mean she’s clueless about the sexual world (she supposedly lost her virginity after all). I’m sure she’s aware that most people wouldn’t tolerate Tomoko “accidental” groping, hence why she questions how someone could not bully her for that. 

It’s pretty ironic how even though Yoshida is probably the most transparent character in the series, Tomoko still can’t figure out if she’s friends with her. That might be Tomoko’s fault somewhat as she’s the type who needs things spelled out to her, and given that Yoshida is more of an “actions speak louder than words” girl, you can see the barrier there. At some point, one of them’s going to have to take that first step and say it to the other’s face if this friendship is going to go places.  

Poor Yuu. The first friend of the series is the last friend to see Tomoko’s growth.

This has been a headcanon of mine since the very beginning of the series, but I’ve always felt that Yuu Naruse had this inner sadness to her. That underneath her beautiful looks and kind personality was a girl who suffers more than she lets on. Remember, Yuu’s personality is fundamentally the same as it was in middle school, despite all the outwardly changes she made in high school. What Tomoko once called a “debut” could have actually been a survival tactic. Yuu never likes to be a bother, and her way of hiding her emotions isn’t always healthy, whether it’s holding back tears about a terrible beach, or making her friends sing for an hour at karaoke. And heaven forbid her breakup with her ex-boyfriend was uglier than she let on. Worse yet, Yuu knows her weaknesses, which only makes her self-deprecating moments hurt even more.

Perhaps I’m talking out of my ass, but hey, Yuu deserves an overcomplicated character analysis just like all the others.  

And as always, Yuu, the angel she is, always puts Tomoko before herself...

I find it admirable that Komiyama is so secure about her social life. Her tiny circle of friends and lack of some Tomoki lovin’ have never truly brought her down, and she can even make fun of herself for it. It’s much different from Tomoko’s rampant self-consciousness of the earlier days, Some may argue it’s a lack of shame as opposed to self-confidence, but Komi is clearly making the best out of it.

Hikari, eh? Other than reminding me of a certain Pokêmon character, I wonder if that’s a joke about how Itou “lights up” when she unleashes her powers of observation.

...

...

...

So, um...fujoshi anyone?

The prices one pays to be a friend to Kotomi Komiyama. 

All in all, this was a fairly easygoing chapter, as most chapters with the OG trio are. With the emotional rollercoaster that Golden Week had provided us, it’s nice to wind down a bit and reflect on the past. That’s not to say that this is a “recap” chapter by any means. Simply that this self-reflection exists to guide our heroines into the next stage of their young lives. It may be as simple as making a new friend over a perverted Skype call, but if there’s only one thing this series has taught us, it’s that the simple things are just the start of something greater.

[mannatea]

incoherent ranting below

so i’ve been in this constant ‘i hate men’ mood for like, weeks, probably because a coworker of mine works nights at the bar sometimes and men are unsurprisingly disgusting and hateful creatures who prey on women who dare to exist in any space, especially if that space is one that demands she serve him in any capacity, no matter how professional

and i realized something i hate about shows that are dark & gritty and claim to be (by the fans or creators) “realistic for the time” which of course everyone wants to claim = superior writing

first of all NO it’s not better just because it’s “realistic” and LOL at “life just blew chunks back then that’S JUST HOW IT WAS” like??? can we stop pretending that everyone was miserable always that’s your shitty modern air conditioning loving ass talking through your overlarge facehole. 

secondly history is written by the winners, which we know, so we mostly have rich white men who obviously still don’t have a fuCKING CLUE what goes on in their OWN GODDAMN HOMES let alone what goes on around them like are we really going to believe that what they say was real was not only real for them but like, commonplace???? lol

but even if a show managed to be 100% historically accurate, there’s no need to adhere to history because (and CHECK THIS OUT, it’s WILD) this is

a

fictional

fucking

story!!!!!!!!

anyway what i hate about gritty grimdark “”””realistic”””” pieces of media is this: 

i’m tired of them!!!!!!!!!!

and hey, maybe because they all subscribe to the same newsletter, which has some kind of nutty philosophy: to be dark and gritty we gotta deal with Controversial Awful Topics preferably in ways that feel like they cOULD be historically accurate just to acCENTUATE how terrible life can be

like man i love realism as much as the next guy, but when it’s piled on too thick it’s just a drag to stick with, you know???

i watch a mediocre tv show that wants very badly to be a wholesome family western drama. it’s called when calls the heart and it lacks diversity. it lacks good writers. it lacks a good budget. it has its good moments of course. there are some amazing characters, some lovely moving scenes... but it’s not The Family Western Drama, and so a number of fans put it down because they think it ought to be more like The Family Western Drama of the 90s: dr. quinn medicine woman. 

which was one helluva brave show for its time!! don’t get me wrong here. it dealt with scary topics for the 90s: homophobia, racism, domestic violence, and the most controversial topic they dealt with (according to lashback from viewers): hitting children is abuse.

but the characters in dr. quinn are downright HATEFUL when you look away from the main cast and their bffs. the townsfolk are all extremely racist, bigoted, sexist, violent, women-hating pigs who want to shoot literally everyone for any possible reason they can come up with. they don’t change. all they do is hate, have an episode arc of learning something or maybe some backstory that makes you feel something for them, and they go right back to being hateful again. 

and look, i do wish wcth had more courage. i do. i rEALLY do. the structure is sound. it could be so good if it tried and it had the budget. but it doesn’t, and it isn’t, and honestly? i’m okay with that.

sometimes it’s nice to have a piece of media where the men aren’t all irredeemable fuckwads!!! where i can pretend the town is made up of open minded loving people who usually mean well and aren’t hateful!

it’s soothing to watch a show where i don’t have to see men treating women with blatant disrespect, where i don’t have to look at them being viewed by the characters as property. where the saloon in the show DOESN’T HAVE whores at all, let alone whores that are OWNED BY THE OWNER and regularly treated like shit throughout the series. 

like look i get it, yall like dr. quinn cause it’s “”””realistic”””” but it’s hard to enjoy a show that’s just more of the same irl stuff i deal with AND it never gets better AND the characters all remain civil and friendly AND it’s just accepted that that’s how those characters are AND--

i mean, i get having to be civil to your neighbors because you’re the town doctor and this is now your home and you have kids to take care of!! but how can you love a town where nearly everyone in it wants your cheyanne friends dead and would shoot them themselves if given half a chance? like, i can’t love that town. and i want to love a town a tv show centers around.

gilmore girls featured stars hollow and it was a nice town. not everyone was wholesome and good but there were people to like. the town means something to the characters = it should mean something to me by proxy. who didn’t fall in love with avonlea in anne of green gables, right? hope valley is likable. colorado springs in dr. quinn is not. it’s hateful.

anyway i just wanted to vent. dr. quinn is a decent show. sometimes it’s really good. but most of the time i just sit there and prefer mediocrity. i want to like the town! i want to like the featured male characters! i want to like the world these characters come from, even if it’s not always kind to them. but in dr. quinn it’s like??? i can’t. i hate the town. it’s shit.

as a writer i want flaws. i like seeing characters change and evolve. but in dr. quinn it’s like they don’t ever change. they’re still nasty and evil and willing to turn on one another at the drop of a hat. the fans say it’s good, realistic writing. i say it’s trash writing on a good budget. again, “””dark””” material doesn’t make the writing good. if i’m gonna watch mediocrity i’d rather it be something that gives me characters and a town i enjoy seeing on the screen, even if it’s “not realistic” or “fake.”

and like, i’ve dissed when calls the heart for trying too hard to be “feminist” and accidentally going in the other direction, but at least they made an effort? at least they tRIEd to give us strong characters? sure they failed and disappointed me but i can tell there was an effort. and their failure generally didn’t ruin the characters for me, either.

it’s painful watching dr. mike forgive the evils of her fellow townspeople every single episode only for them to be fine letting her or her kids or her beau or the cheyanne or the immigrants die because of one (1) minor thing happening

(and hey i know shit like typhus was a big deal but maybe actually write the fear in there and make a real episode about it? it stops meaning something when your characters fly off the handle about lITERALLY everything. like at this point neal and i start a new episode with: who’s gonna be irredeemably evil today? hank, jake, or loren?)

dEEP BREATH

maybe i’m being a little unfair. it’s interesting to have a town of characters where some are just completely terrible people and that’s just how it is because they’re There and It’s Their Town Too and so on.

but that doesn’t mean i want to watch it. and i don’t think it necessarily means it’s a better written show, either. it’s just exhausting to me. i don’t need to see more anger. i’m tired of it. it’s everywhere.

okay okay at its core this was a rant about the bullshit fake ass “realistic media” = better media thing but also...

why would i want to subject myself to 30104012 hours of nonstop violence against women, when it’s been a part of my everyday life from the moment i stepped out of the womb?

no thanks. i hate men as a general rule but i like to indulge in the fantasy that there could be a town made up of mostly good ones!! so sue me if it means i like a shittier piece of media!! i don’t care!! I DO NOT CARE!!! i just want to think ‘hey this is a nice place these people live in and everyone has their faults but they’re not waving guns around beating up people.’

i literally don’t care how “unrealistic” that makes the show. do not care. i give...no fucks about that. let me indulge.

and also, you know what? other shows were brave in the 90s, too, but i don’t see people talking about touched by an angel even though it handled all the same topics that dr. quinn medicine woman did AND MORE

lol but i guess it’s embarrassing to admit you got something out of tbaa huh

again, don’t get me wrong. there are things i enjoy a LOT about dqmw. but boy does it piss me off to see wcth compared to it as if dqmw is this paragon of good writing that all other period dramas must aspire to, and if you don’t do literally all of these grimdark things that dqmw did, you’re not good enough...is just so exhausting. there’s nothing wrong with a show choosing to skirt the horrible things for a lighter fare. sometimes that’s just what the audience needs.

and like lmao none of this is real it’s ALL MADE UP!!!!! so who cares if abigail’s a female mayor in 1915 like

that’s the magic of fiction, babe!!!!

[hollyhark]

Hey there :) I love your writing so much and your taste in fics recs. I guess amazing writers recognize equally talented work. While I love reading fanfic, I've been trying to get into reading books lately but am unsure of where to start. I was wondering if you have any book recs (really any genre is fine I trust your taste, but if you have anything with magical realism or an unnerving eerie horror vibe I'd love you to the moon and back)? thank you so much

Hey! Sorry to takeso long to respond, I love this ask and I’m flattered that you wantmy recs!!

As for an unnervingeerie/horror vibe, I think Universal Harvester by John Darniellewould be something you might love, especially as a kind of starter book because it’s a very quick and absorbing read– one caveat is that if you like a mystery whereeverything is neatly explained at the end it will frustrate you, buteven as someone who felt kinda ‘huh’ at the end, I enjoyedreading it a lot and would recommend. There are two skin-crawling moments in this book I will never forget, it’s so effective. I need to read more horror butI’m very squeamish about both gore and psychological horror so it’shard for me to find stuff like this that’s effective and scarywithout disturbing me too much.

I wish I had moremagic realism recs (I wanted to like Kelly Link, jfc I really tried;___;) but the only thing that’s coming to mind is One HundredYears of Solitude, which is one of my favorite books and one I shouldreread since it’s been a while.

OH OKAY this is asomewhat corny book but if you have tolerance for romance (and if youlike my stuff you probably do lol), I love More Than You Know by BethGutcheon– the ghost story is so fucking creepy! It has majorcharacter death but even though you can see it coming a mile away itdidn’t feel cheap to me; it’s more about the MC’s memories thanthe romance itself. And I love this so much, from the opening: “Somebody said ‘true love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.’ I’ve seen both and I don’t know how to tell you which is worse.”

I have a lot offeelings about George Saunders these days but I lovedddd Pastoralia when I was first getting into contemporary shortfiction and I still reread his older stuff sometimes. There’s somegood surreal & creepy stuff in that collection.

My favorite book ofall time ever is The Green Knight by Iris Murdoch and it’s surrealand creepy as fuck in places, but really in a more comic way thananything else, ultimately. If you read it and like it, I recommend everything by Murdoch, she’s my favorite writer.

I recommend LikeYou’d Understand, Anyway by Jim Shepard to everyone because it’smy favorite short story collection. If you’re juststarting to get into reading short fiction I might start with mysecond favorite though, Birds of America by Lorrie Moore.

I read A Manual forCleaning Women by Lucia Berlin last year and now it’s on myfavorite books of all time list, it’s emotionally brutal though (but in such a satisfying way, if you’re up for that!)

Earlier this year Iread Signs and Wonders by Alix Ohlin and it really impressed me. (I’m reading her older collection now and one of her stories has inspired a new Kylux idea in me lol…)

Now I’ll wanderpast my bookshelves to see if there’s anything else I need tomention….

OH: ObservatoryMansions!! by Edward Carey. omg now I want to reread this. It’s super surreal andcreepy in what I think is a unique way, at least in my relativelylimited experience of contemporary fiction, and I still think of itoften and feel attached to the main character. This is one of thosebooks that probably had a lot of subconscious influence on my ownstuff now that I think about it, I really need to reread it….

Gob’s Grief by Chris Adrian isfrustrating as fuck but it’s another surreal and creepy novel thatI sometimes consider rereading because a lot of it stayed with me andbecause the short story that got me interested in it (which became a chapter in this novel), Every Night fora Thousand Years, is one of my favorites.

Also The MiracleLife of Edgar Mint by Brady Udall is one of my favorite books andLetting Loose the Hounds is a good short story collection by the sameauthor (the story about the moose. I’ll never forget it).

I also alwaysrecommend Passion by Alice Munro to anyone who likes romance. It’sone of if not my absolute favorite short stories, I rereadit a lot.

I’ll stop there–thanks again for asking, and I hope you’ll enjoy some of these!