#rem? should have been losing my religion

[thesherrinfordfacility]

the absolute hubris to put starman on this list

[deviloutofluck]

if you’re hearing LOSING MY RELIGION by REM playing, you have to know KAYAAN DHAWAN (HE/THEY; CIS MAN) is near by! the 35 year old UNEMPLOYEED has been in denver for, like, 2 YEARS. they’re known to be quite PESSIMISTIC, but being RELIABLE seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble RAHUL KOHLI. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those WET PUPPY, TOO MANY DRINKS & NOT ENOUGH SLEEP, WILL BEEF WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the LAKERIDGE DISTRICT long enough!

TW: crime, murder, childhood abuse/neglect, law enforcement & prison

Kayaan grew up with his mom, dad and three year younger sister. His mom was a scientist and the back-bone of the family, basically doing everything around the house whilst also working fulltime. The dad had some on-and-off type of jobs, often quicker gigs, but spent the majority of his time at home "looking after the kids" - as he so often framed it.

Life was neither bad nor good up until one fateful day when Kayaan was around the age of 10, in which his mom failed to come home from work. Their mother has always been vague about the type of job she had and the projects she took on, never sharing more than she had to to keep people from asking further. By the end of the day she paid the bills and kept her children happy, which was all that mattered.

A body was never found and the police themselves showed little interest in the case, forcing the otherwise aloof father of the house to step up in his role. Or, he should have, one would think. The dad became more agitated by the day, now forcing his children to care for the house while he got busy "working his butt off". The sister often became the outlet for the dad's anger and misfortune, with Kayaan doing his best to aid his sister when possible but sometimes it only seemed to make things worse.

School became a burden and once the basics were wrapped up and done, Kayaan and his then best friend Ricky dropped out to pursue other goals. Those goals quickly turned into a life of petty crimes, with the best friend putting together a small group of goons for hire. It didn't make anyone rich, but it was enough to keep them both afloat - and in the moment, that was all that mattered.

The peace was not to be, as Kayaan suddenly found himself smitten by Ricky's current girlfriend Faye. They did their best to stay in line, not wanting to stir up any trouble, but when he found out that she she felt the same about him... what was he to do? They both began to talk about the possibility of leaving, perhaps starting over somewhere quiet and nice. A second chance. However, they got caught by Ricky before they could discuss it any further and a few days later the girlfriend was found missing.

Kayaan thought she had perhaps left without him, he wouldn't blame her, but nothing could prepare him for the truth that would unveil a few weeks later - she was murdered.

To Kayaan it was obvious who had done it, but law enforcement thought otherwise, soon arresting him on the accounts of her murder. The papers were no later to soak up the story about a temperamental, jealous man who couldn't bear the thought of seeing his crush with another man and thus took the matters into their own hands. The case was basically settled before it even began and soon enough Kayaan found himself locked up in prison for a crime they hadn't committed.

It would be close to a decade before any justice would be brought to the table and sadly in the happenings of a second murder by the hands of Ricky. Thus, he was finally allowed to walk free once more and being cleared of any and all accusations - but it didn't wash off the now years wasted behind bars or the tarnish to his name and face as many would still associate them with the criminal case.

He decided to sue the government for wrongful conviction and won big and for the past year and a half, Kayaan has been staying on his sister's couch in Denver; drifting around, dwelling on his future and what to do with it. The money is keeping them going as of now, but it's bound to run out sooner or later.

[denimbex1986]

'Rumour has it the bigwigs of karaoke were crammed into a secret meeting room last week, drowning their sorrows in alcopops and belting out misery ballads. Why? Because two of entertainment’s buzziest names threatened to pull the plug on the entire industry. “Karaoke should be banned in my opinion. I’ve never had an enjoyable experience,” said Paul Mescal in an interview to promote new film All of Us Strangers. His co-star Andrew Scott agreed: “I’m not a fan of karaoke, I’m not. There’s a kind of anxiety, which is like, ‘Is this ever gonna end?’” . Scott’s complaint – that karaoke seemingly never ends – rings true, at least when it comes to film and TV. Over the last couple of years, our big screens have been filled with characters staring at slightly smaller screens, clutching cheap microphones and singing along to trashy classics.

Ironically, Mescal himself features in one of the most gut-hollowing examples of the last couple of years, in Charlotte Wells’s “tear de force” Aftersun. At a package holiday karaoke night, Calum (Mescal) realises that his daughter Sophie has put their name down to perform. As applause echoes around the venue, Calum leaves Sophie to go up on her own and mince a performance of Losing My Religion by REM...'

[heartofspells]

Whats your favourite colour and why?

If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, which one would it be? (I am so sorry for this)

Cats or dogs? (I know now this answer, but indulge me)

Best childhood memory?

Opinion on marriage? (I'm going there)

Do you want kids?

Worst food to exist?

Best food?

Tea or coffee?

Ooooh, fun. Much more so than the er...things that encouraged this in the first place. Thanks, sweetie. 💜💜

Whats your favourite colour and why?

Um...I wobble. If you ask anyone in my life, they'd probably say black, because I can't seem to buy many clothes that aren't? But I just like black in clothing, and I like black paired with other colors. Those super deep pinks are always fun. And I love purple. Really pretty shades of blue too, like cerulean.

If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, which one would it be? (I am so sorry for this)

You should be sorry! How am I meant to answer this?? Oh god, umm...there are so many! So, if you'd asked me this a year ago, my answer probably would have been Losing My Religion by REM. I can't say why. I've just always liked it, and I never grow tired of it. The lyrics hit like a punch and I love it. But now, more recently, I've developed this thing with I'll Be the First by Longwave. There's not much to the song, but I think that's maybe one of the reasons I like it so much. It's soft, promising. It calms me down, and there's not a day that passes since I've found it that I don't listen to it at least once.

Cats or dogs? (I know now this answer, but indulge me)

Dogs. Look, cats are...fine. I'm an animal lover. I'll take them all. Come across me with anything remotely animal like and have fun keeping me back and away from it. But cats are just...not my favorite. And I still love them. I've got two. Dogs are just better to me. I'm energetic and so are they. I like their personalities better.

Best childhood memory?

You're really asking those difficult questions today, aren't you? I'll admit, I had to think about this for...a while. But when I was about seven, my family and I moved into my great-grandparents' old house, which was right next door to my grandparents' house, just down a hill. Every day, I'd stand in our driveway and watch the road for my grandmother's car, and then go racing up the hill when she'd finally get home. And I know she was exhausted from work, but she was always so happy to see me, pulling me into the house and talking to me while she settled home. I loved those moments, and I miss them so much.

Opinion on marriage? (I'm going there)

Marriage is great, if that's what you want. I don't. I've no interest. Me and my...whatever have been together for years now, and we decided a long time ago that it's not for us. In my personal experience, marriage changes things, and most times for the worse. And I understand that's not how it always is, I do. But it's not for me. I don't want to get tangled in that misery.

Do you want kids?

Yes, but that will never happen, so I've made myself fine with that aspect of life. And that's all I'm going to say on that publicly.

Worst food to exist?

Cooked. Cabbage. No other explanation.

Best food?

Gravy and biscuits 🤣

Tea or coffee?

Coffee. I'm not much of a tea drinking, especially hot. We do sweet iced tea here, which is phenomenal, though I like it less on the sweet-side than most around me do.

[threesidestoeverystory]

The Calling

I dream every night. Complex, out-of-this-world, vivid dreams. I'm convinced I'm traveling outside of not just my body, but this reality. Perhaps we all do and I'm just better at remembering it upon waking up...for at least a moment. If I don't immediately focus on the dreams upon waking before doing anything else, then they fade with a purpose. I'm left with only feelings and the occasional Deja Vu moment where the dream floods back into my waking mind at random moments in my life, which could be years later.

I have regular dreams too. They're mixed in with the crazy ones and usually occur right before waking, almost as a deterrent towards the much more interesting ones beforehand. I can dream as soon as I'm asleep too. I do not need to wait until REM sleep as they say is needed for dreaming. Or maybe I can enter REM upon closing my eyes. Either way, the dream world comes easy to me, always has. I can count on my fingers how many times I've had trouble falling asleep and I'm 32.

I've never had a nightmare either. Not one I can remember, not how everyone makes them sound. I've had dreams of an underworld type place, all sorts of types of creatures different from humans, losing people, falling, etc...but it never affects me to the level of a nightmare. It's almost as though I know I'm just observing. I have woken up crying before, but they were tears of happiness. The world as we know it had collapsed for whatever reason and people were scattered in America everywhere, left with no means of communicating via distance. I remember ending up in an underground safe point where survivors were fleeing. This had been a while after whatever doomsday prophecy was fulfilled in this reality; and I was certain I would never see anyone from my old life again. Just then I looked up and my dad walked through the entryway looking just as lost. I still can't contain the feeling of the memory of this dream when I think about it. The emotion is so powerful. The more powerful the emotion, the more I remember.

I believe something truly magical can happen when we dream if we surrender to it. I'm currently fighting that battle/lesson of surrendering to life. It's a difficult lesson to learn. My own slice of magic happened in my adulthood. On April 13, 2022, I awoke to a feeling of the highest bliss I've ever felt. Nothing could touch my mood and I radiated positivity and light. I could just feel it coming off of me. That's the best way to describe it. It lasted in strength for 3 full days and then started to fade over the rest of the week. I remembered nothing from my dreams the nigh before, but I know something mystifying happened. I should note that this was a few months after my 30th birthday (1/23) and I had been a heavy tobacco smoker for 14 years proceeding. I had tried to quit dozens of times over the years. I would get a few months in on my best attempts before caving at a social gathering or stressful moment or just because I was near it. After that morning of 4/13/22, I've never desired, touched or even thought about smoking again. Just out of thin air I no longer struggled with that part of my shadow self. Something came to me in my dreams, something of light that left its residual and removed the addiction from my mind. It's been almost 2 years and it's still going strong. I know at this point it's forever, I can feel it. I've been around people smoking, been drinking, been to social gatherings, been offered it, been stressed..all of the weak points and I'm good. I've been good. Since that day...I wish I knew what did this, but I know for certain it was some sort of divine intervention. Whether a higher dimensional being, my own higher self outside of this dimension or the Source, itself. Let religion or science explain it, but I know what I experienced. I cannot wait for the next one and for some reason, I feel like it'll be in 2025. More to come!

[alphacrone]

I think my parents should have been a lot more concerned when I started singing losing my religion by REM very very intensely a lot all the time when I was like. 13.

[olde-scratch]

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

��a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -

“oliver”

I  F O U N D   I  T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

so

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

w  h  a  t  -

W   H   A   T   -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Eighty Six

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

March 4th, 2003

Emile looked at the ring the jeweller had brought out for him to inspect. It was a little understated, just a silver band, no diamonds or other gems or even a stone put in. “Are you sure this is the one you want?” the jeweller asked. “I know you have the money, Mister Thomas, and most girls, even if they don’t say anything, prefer something they can show off to their friends...”

“It’s perfect,” Emile said, nodding at the jeweller. “Don’t worry. I know my future fiancé, he’ll love it.”

“Of course, I didn’t mean to imply...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Emile said with a kind smile. “My guy’s just that sort of special. Ring this up and we’ll be good to go.”

  May 5th, 2003

Emile was absolutely certain that if Remy weren’t so stressed, he would propose right here and now, just to try and capture the perfect smile on Remy’s face for the entire rest of the day. Remy had opened the doors of Sleep Easy that morning to find a line that was wrapping around the block and the relieved grin he had on his face as he told everyone working there to get ready was something Emile would never forget.

Toby had taken a couple pictures before Remy went back behind the counter to help out, and Emile felt at the ring box in his pocket. He wanted to ask regardless of stress, but he needed to find a quiet moment.

Emile and Toby were currently sitting in the back of the shop, at one of the tables. Emile was fiddling with his hands and glancing at Remy periodically. Toby sighed and propped his head up on one of his hands. “Okay, Emile, spill the beans. What’s got you so worked up?”

Glancing at Toby before going back to look at Remy, Emile shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he said absentmindedly.

“Either you tell me what’s up or I call Remy over here,” Toby threatened. “Because you’re looking at him like he has a bomb strapped to his chest.”

Emile tore his eyes away from Remy long enough to check if Toby was serious. And he was. “You have to promise not to tell Remy,” Emile said.

Toby gave him a look. “You don’t have a ring box, do you?” he joked.

Emile sighed and pulled out the small box from his pocket, placing it on the table. “Wait, no, I was joking!” Toby exclaimed in a hushed whisper. “Oh my god, you seriously have a ring?! Are you planning on asking him today?”

“Potentially, if there’s a quiet moment,” Emile said. “But I’m starting to suspect there won’t be.”

“Yeah, no, people just keep coming,” Toby said, eyeing the front door. “If I were you, I’d wait for a moment where Remy isn’t serving customers,” he said. “Maybe propose tonight, after the shop closes, if you do it today.”

Emile glanced over at Remy, who was talking to a woman intently over a display of cookies. “Seriously?!” Remy exclaimed, loud enough to capture both Emile’s and Toby’s attention.

The woman laughed and nodded. She passed him a card which Remy eagerly pocketed and shook the woman’s hand. Emile and Toby glanced at each other. “What was that about?” Toby asked.

“I have absolutely no idea,” Emile said.

Remy came over to the two of them, and Emile quickly hid the ring box back in his pocket. Remy, with a massive grin, slammed his hands on the table. “Do you guys know who that was?!” he exclaimed.

“No?” Toby said. “Enlighten us?”

“She’s a reporter for the local paper,” Remy said in an almost-conspiratorial whisper. “And all the commotion from today caught her eye. She said that if I can keep interest for the rest of the month, she’ll do an exposé on the shop!”

Emile blinked, before breaking into a grin. “That’s amazing, Rem! I’m so proud of you!”

Remy beamed.

“Emile took the words right out of my mouth,” Toby said. “I have no doubt that article will happen. Who knows, maybe it’ll lead to more business and happier roads ahead!”

Toby glanced at Emile and Emile instantly got the meaning: save the proposal for the interview. And Emile couldn’t agree more with that sentiment. That would be the perfect timing, if there was one.

“Oh my god, if they ask me anything about my personal life, what do I say?” Remy asked, laughing. “I mean, I don’t think I should hide that I’m gay, but like...I pay a mortgage with Emile. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that we’re together.”

“I think you should be honest, Rem,” Emile said. “I mean, anyone who’d boycott the shop because of you being gay isn’t someone I’d want in my corner anyway.”

“True,” Remy hummed. “Okay. I’ll be honest. The shop shouldn’t go under because of it, most of the people here are open-minded. It’s a college town, after all.”

“It’s a college town, you’re an amazing person, and you make a mean cuppa joe,” Toby said, sipping at his coffee with a grin. “There’s no way you could scare off all the homophobes into ruining business for you.”

Remy nodded, smiling. “Thanks for being here, both of you,” he said. “It means the world to me.”

“Nowhere we’d rather be, Rem,” Toby said, and Emile agreed.

“Remy! We need you back here!” August called.

“That’s my cue,” Remy laughed, hugging Toby and kissing Emile’s cheek. “Talk to the two of you later.”

“Later,” Emile parrotted as Remy went back to the counter. “I’m definitely proposing during the interview,” he told Toby.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Remy tried the same thing. He’s that extra,” Toby laughed.

“You know, you’re right, and I hate that you’re right,” Emile laughed. “We’ll wind up proposing at the same time, most likely.”

“He’s planning his own proposal?” Toby asked. “You guys didn’t agree that one of you would do it and leave it at that?”

“We made it a competition,” Emile laughed. “Loser has to kiss the winner.”

“How do you know who loses and who wins?” Toby asked.

Emile paused. “You know, I’m not sure we ever clarified how one of us would win when both of us are very clearly biased,” he admitted.

Toby laughed. “Oh, god. You two are both disasters. Like, I love you, of course, but you’re both disasters.”’

“Of course we are. To quote Remy, ‘If we weren’t such disasters we would have overthrown God long ago.’”

Toby cracked up. “Man, as a guy who’s still religious I’m inclined to agree with you. The two of you are unstoppable.”

“Throw in all the other gay disasters we know and it would be no contest,” Emile snickered. “God, Theo would love to overthrow a major religion like that. I’m pretty sure Clara would fret over us and make sure to bring victory snacks, Xavier would welcome our new gay overlords...it would be quite the sight.”

“Let me know when it happens, because I very much want in on the being a priest to you guys,” Toby laughed.

Emile snickered. “Oh, we’re both going to Hell.”

“No doubt,” Toby agreed.

They looked over to where Remy was working, and Emile sighed. “I do worry about him, though. He works hard, but there are days where I know he’d rather relax but can’t.”

“A tip that helped me in the old days with that: warm chocolate milk,” Toby said. “Don’t know how well it’ll work for you, but it always conked him out as a child. Now, it might not make him sleep, but it would at least be a bit of nostalgia.”

“That’s adorable,” Emile said, grinning.

“There were times where he wouldn’t even accept it from Mom or Dad because ‘Toby makes it the bestest,’” Toby said with a grin. “I love my little brother to the ends of the earth, but I suspect he loves me more.”

“He finds people who love him and he never lets them go,” Emile said with a sad smile. “I wish the reason he did that wasn’t there, but then again, without everything he went through, he wouldn’t be the man he is today.”

Toby furrowed his brows and Emile winced. “Uh, he doesn’t let go of people who love him because he’s worried that if he does they’ll just leave him when they get bored. So he works to make sure they’re never bored of him.”

“Oh,” Toby said. It was strangled, and there was so much shock and anger in that one syllable. “I would strangle our parents if I could get away with it.”

“Make sure they don’t have any more kids and we’ll call it a day,” Emile laughed awkwardly.

“God, I hope they don’t screw up as grandparents,” Toby breathed. “Like. I don’t intend on being a dad. But Vanessa...wants kids. She’s wanted kids since she was a kid. And if they ever have to stay at their grandparents’...well, I’d rather take them for a night than leave them there.”

“Frankly? I don’t blame you,” Emile said.

“You’ve met them, haven’t you?” Toby asked.

“I’ve met your mother, and frankly, I don’t even need to meet your father to understand the bulk of Remy’s trauma, and yours,” Emile said simply.

“M... my trauma?” Toby asked.

“They hurt you too, Toby,” Emile said. “That qualifies as trauma.”

“Oh,” Toby said, leaning back in his seat. “It’s different when it’s someone else. Like, yeah, Remy got really hurt by them, so I don’t blame him for using the term. But knowing that the term applies to me is...different.”

“It’s more personal,” Emile filled in. “And it’s scary. But it’s something that can definitely be worked on.”

“At least there’s hope,” Toby said with a weak smile.

“Exactly,” Emile said, pointing at Toby with a grin. “And if you ever need any recommendations for looking for a therapist, hit me up. I’ll see what I can do.”

“I might have to take you up on that,” Toby said with a shaky breath. “The holidays are a massive...what did you call it? A massive stressor. But I could probably find a use for one outside the holidays, too.”

Emile nodded. “At least you recognize it. Remy’s been really stressed lately but seems determined to stick it out on his own. I worry about him more because of that.”

Toby shrugged. “Sometimes he needs time to come around to a concept. Give him that time, and if you ever need help, drop me a line. I know how to talk to him too.”

“Do you ever use rationality on him, and does he get that grumpy almost-pout when you do it?” Emile asked with a knowing grin.

“Oh my god, yes!” Toby laughed. “And then he comes up with worst-case scenarios that both of you know wouldn’t happen, just out of stubborn spite at the fact you’re using logic?”

“And forces you to come up with a plan for what happens if you fall into a pit of invisible snakes!” Emile continued. “Oh yeah, we’ve had those talks.”

“God, I love him,” Toby said, shaking his head fondly. “Of course, to you, that scenario probably just indicates how much of an anxiety disorder he has.”

“I try not to diagnose people I know,” Emile said. “Not only because I don’t have my degree yet, but because my emotions can get in the way of a diagnosis if I get too close.”

“That’s smart,” Toby said.

“That’s therapists’ standards,” Emile said simply.

The two of them sat in companionable silence for a minute, before Toby spoke again. “I really worry about him, all jokes aside. Like, we can go for months without talking and pick up where we left off, but...those months in between when he doesn’t talk to me...they can get scary.”

“I know what you mean,” Emile sighed. “There are nights where I wake up with cold sweats from nightmares that Remy never dropped out of college and I went to his room one day to see that he’d hung himself. Fortunately, I wake up next to him to know he’s alive. I know you don’t have that luxury.”

Toby shook his head. “That’s when I usually call first thing the next morning...on the bad days. I can never get back to sleep but I wait until it’s seven before I call because I know you guys have sleep to catch up on. You don’t need to listen to my crazed, nightmare-induced ramblings.”

“I’d listen,” Emile said.

“Really?” Toby asked skeptically.

“Of course,” Emile said, turning to look at Remy, serving coffee with the biggest grin on his face as the customer complimented the store. “That’s what family does for each other.”

[searchingwardrobes]

Here’s my next previously unpublished story from What Hindered Love, all of which are from Micah’s point of view. Here have Micah playing the guitar and being a hot dad with adorable Luke. With a side of angst as he pines for Chloe.

Summary: When life seems at its lowest, Micah has learned to turn to his music for comfort. His five year old son and his childlike faith helps too. This takes place right after chapter eighteen in What Hindered Love.

As Micah pulled the door of his son’s room quietly shut, the weight of the day suddenly was too much to bear. He’d put on a brave face for his son, not wanting him to sense anything was amiss. But now, he could finally retreat and try to make sense of the ache within him. He knew just where to find solace; the same place he’d found it back when he was a confused teenager. The place of solace he had lost for a time following Rachel’s death. The place of solace that had gotten him through rehab and back to a place of healing. His music.

He went to his bedroom and pulled the case holding his acoustic out from under his bed. A Taylor he had bought after celebrating one year of being clean. He sat on the bed and rested the instrument on his knee, strumming a few times as he turned the pegs to tune it. When he finally started to play, he was surprised at the song that he began to strum: REM’s “Losing My Religion.” It had been a favorite of his as a teen – the words seemed to speak to his wandering, questioning soul. He no longer was floundering where his faith was concerned, but his heart. His heart was still lost. He had given it years ago to Chloe and didn’t he think he would ever get it back. The song talked about the distance in a lover’s eyes and the fear of saying too much. There had been distance in Chloe’s eyes, all right. The entire time at the diner today, he could feel her walls like a tangible thing, higher and more impenetrable than ever.

Micah belted out the chorus next, about a person losing their religion. This was the part of the song that the confused preacher’s kid had been able to relate to so strongly. All his life, lived under a spotlight, yet the real him deep inside slowly fading, shrinking away in a corner. Because who he really was would never be good enough.

The contradictions in the song spoke to him in this situation just as much as it ever did. He felt in some ways he had revealed too much of his heart to Chloe the last few days. Hell, the last few months. The near kiss on Christmas night replayed in his mind over and over. She seemed to want him to kiss her. Had he read things completely wrong? And now that they were in this impossible situation with Scott, the song he had sung to her as a Christmas gift seemed like an over-exposure of the depths of his soul. Surely she couldn’t misread how he felt. Then again, their past still loomed like a mountain they couldn’t scale.

He thought so many things when it came to Chloe. He thought she enjoyed his company. He thought he saw something the night they were tending to Lincoln when he was sick. She seemed ready for the next step. She said staying away from one another was the only safe way to handle Scott’s threats. But Chloe seemed to be protecting her heart again as well. Why?

He transitioned into the second verse, which was all about confessions. He knew plenty about confessing. But where Chloe was concerned, there was still so much left to confess. Namely what he had told her that fateful day, the last day he truly saw her. Family court didn’t count. Maybe he should tell her the truth about what he had said. Micah lowered his head closer to the guitar as he continued to sing, the words coming from a place deep in his soul.

What if he said too much? What if what he longed for was nothing but a fantasy? The last few words of the song where like razors dragging across his raw heart. He had vowed so long ago that he would never hurt her, but he had failed. He failed then. What if he failed her again?

“Daddy?”

Micah stopped strumming at the sound of his son’s voice, laying his palm flat against the strings to stop the sound. Luke stood in his doorway, rubbing his eyes and clutching his favorite stuffed dog to his chest.

“I’m sorry, little man, was I too loud?”

“Kinda.”

Micah had intentionally left his amp and sound effects pedals alone, but he knew he had a tendency to play even acoustic a little loud. He strummed really hard, probably because playing was so emotional for him. Kate and Hannah were always complaining that he broke strings too often in the middle of worship sets. His father had even been forced to sheepishly tell him the church could no longer pay for his strings. And Beau was constantly grumbling from the sound booth that it was impossible to get the levels right when Micah played so much louder than everyone else.

Luke shuffled across the room and climbed up on the bed. Lightning lifted her head and watched the boy, then jumped up on the bed as well. For some reason, the golden retriever thought Luke being on Micah’s bed meant she had permission as well. The dog licked Micah’s ear, but once he gave her the obligatory rub behind the ears, she curled up contentedly at the foot of the bed. Luke stared at the pattern on the quilt, tracing it with his finger. It was a gesture so like his mother, it made Micah’s chest ache.

“Why are you singing sad?”

“Am I?”

“Uh huh. You and mommy are both sad,” Luke looked up with hopeful eyes. “Maybe you wouldn’t be so sad if . . . you got married?”

Luke phrased the last part as a tentative question, as if he thought his daddy would be angry with him for asking. Micah sighed softly and set his guitar aside. “Is that why you asked Santa for all of us to be together at Christmas?”

Luke nodded, his face sad. “Mhm, and I’ve been praying for it, too. ‘Cuz when I told Grandma that I want my mommy and daddy married, she said I could ask God anything. Are you mad at me for praying?”

Micah pulled Luke onto his lap and brushed a kiss to the top of his head, “Of course I’m not mad. But I have to prepare you for something, Luke.” Micah took a deep breath. He hated what he had to tell his little boy, but he wouldn’t lie to him or give him false hope. “Your mommy and I won’t be able to spend time together anymore – at least for a while.” God, he hoped it wasn’t forever!

“But why? Is this because of the lady with the clipboard? She looked all around and asked Mommy questions.”

Micah sighed and brushed his chin against Luke’s unruly dark hair. “Yes, Luke. I’m afraid so. But that doesn’t mean we’ll be with you any less. And Mommy and I are still friends.”

“So I can keep praying?” Luke asked, looking up into father’s eyes.

Micah smiled down at the little boy he loved more than his own life. “Of course, buddy. You can always keep praying. No one can stop you from doing that. And, honestly, with what your mommy and I are going through right now, we need your prayers more than ever. ”

“Can I pray right now?”

“Sure.” Micah expected Luke to just bow his head and say his prayer, but instead, Luke stood up on the mattress next to his father and placed a hand to Micah’s head. Micah smiled wryly. Yes, grandma was definitely a strong influence.

“Jesus, please help Daddy not sing so sad. Help Mommy, too. Grandma says we can’t always understand why you do things, but can you please, please, please, help Daddy marry mommy? Amen.”

Luke dropped his hands from Micah’s head, but then quickly put them back. “Oh, and I pray that Daddy can be Lincoln’s daddy, too. That’s it, Jesus. Amen.”

Micah had to clear his throat and blink before he could start crying. How did Luke know to throw his little brother into his prayer? He also hated the unwavering faith he heard behind Luke’s prayer. How would it feel when Luke discovered his prayer was impossible? Almost as soon as the doubt came to his mind, that still small voice he had learned to listen to during rehab whispered a response. Is anything impossible for God? He chuckled a little to himself. Faith like a child, indeed.

“Okay, little man, speaking of prayer, we need to get you back to bed. We have church in the morning, and when you’re staying with me, we have to be early. Praise band warm up, remember?”

“Can I take my guitar? Just for the warm up?”

“Sure, why not?” Kate would hate him, probably, but Micah could handle his sister-in-law.

“Can I play one song with you just before bed?” Luke saw the stern look come over his father’s face, and instantly reverted to pleading. “Please? Just a bedtime song? One song, please?”

Micah groaned as he looked at the clock, then sighed. “Fine. Okay. One song.” He picked his guitar back up as Luke raced to his room for his Baby Taylor. “You want me to teach you the Boat Song? The one I sang for Mommy? You said you wanted to learn it?”

“Uh-uh. My Lighthouse.”

“Again?”

“Please?”

“Fine,” Micah relented with a shake of his head. So he had sung the song what seemed like a hundred times. For his son, he would do it a hundred more.

Micah placed Luke’s hands on the neck to demonstrate each of the chords in the song. He knew Luke would only play the first one and then revert to strumming any old sound. He was only five. Micah wanted the guitar to be fun for Luke, though, so he patiently pushed back his frustrations. Micah started with the chorus, and as he sang, he felt that his son made the perfect choice. This song was the balm his soul needed. The Lord was their lighthouse, and he would carry them through the storm.

[stvlti]

And so I leap, widowed at twenty-seven, From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven. WIDOW WIDOW WIDOW. I like this line 🍸

Pick a passage (500 words or less) from any fanfic I’ve written and I’ll give you a “DVD commentary”

rules of the ask game | my AO3

oh my god, okay. I really do appreciate you sending this in, I was hoping to get a serious one for this ask meme. but I have to be honest, I have pretty much not looked at that poem since I first wrote it back in 2015, so when I received this ask I was scratching my head asking myself what the fuck was even going on inside my head when I wrote that last line (“lest I too be shriven”) 5 years ago.  the subsequent guesswork + digging through multiple online dictionaries / articles it took for me to compile a response... *lies down*

it’s ok though, it was fun trying to piece it back together. so, without further ado: this is False-Eyed Doll, a Death Note poem.

CW: REFERENCES TO SUICIDE & CANON CHARACTER DEATHS

– also, spoilers ahead! turn back if you want to read the poem first –

So the lines you submitted are the last 2 lines of the poem, which was written as a derivative form of the Sonnet, making these 2 lines the final couplet of the Sonnet. 

Now the thing about Sonnets is, if you are following the Shakespearean format, the ‘turn’ (volta) occurs right before the final couplet, meaning this couplet is the ‘conclusion’ that follows the ‘twist’ of the poem’s narrative. 

Now He has Her slain; oh, will l remain Wilting in His wake, maddened by His maw?

Yet He by own pen dies, man who became Law. And so I leap, widowed at twenty-seven, From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven.

I wrote this poem as a ‘Misa poem’, and I meant for it to reappropriate certain canon events in Misa’s POV. So the poem’s narrative begins with the thesis of Misa being introduced to Light and his Kira world order (in stanza I), then sets up her relationship with Rem, her "guardian angel" Shinigami with differing opinions on Light (in stanza II) as the antithesis. The main thrust of the narrative concerns itself with Misa’s conflicting position between the two. However in spite of Rem’s warning, Misa chooses Light, because with the Kira crusade she has finally found a tentative foundation she could grow into and reestablish her footing in this world after her own tragedy (“in His embrace I shall rule again”). 

That was the trajectory of her life plans. So the ‘twist’, the turn, comes when not only Rem dies but Light, her new foundation, does too ("Yet He by own pen dies, man who became Law”). Of course, this is not a surprise for us the readers, since we know how the story ends in canon, but it’s a huge double whammy (heh, Wammy) to Misa. 

So then we arrive at the final couplet, which centres on Misa’s response to this ‘turn’ of events.

And so I leap

“So she leaps”, because this is the only logical conclusion she could come to after losing her “Law” and foundation. She sees no other future ahead with all her plans in ruins, so she climbs to the top of the investigation tower and chooses* death. (This line is a reference to the anime post-credits scene, where it’s implied she commits suicide.)

widowed at twenty-seven

Honestly I’m cringing a bit that the word choice, “widowed”, was what caught your eye. I’m not sure that’s my proudest detail in this poem 😬 I guess I was really leaning into the MisaxLight component there. There’s always been this underlying sense of commitment that Misa has projected onto Light in canon, from her wanting to start that kind of married, domestic life with Light during the Yotsuba arc, to her trying her hand at playing the stay-at-home housewife during the Light-as-L arc (albeit imperfectly) - there are so many aspects in her interactions with Light that simply screams marriage, at least from Misa’s POV. And on a meta level, she definitely promises her mind, body, and soul to Light’s Kira crusade, trading away her lifespan, altering herself to carry the Eyes for Light, and at the core of it, giving her heart over to Light completely. She has effectively married herself not just to Light, but to Kira, too. So to call Light’s death and the loss of everything that comes it a sort of “widowing” is simply the truth. It is Misa’s truth.

And I fought hard to keep the aged “twenty-seven” detail, because I always found it sort of fascinating that Misa qualifies for the 27 Club. She’s a star in the entertainment industry, at this point she’s amassed a successful mini empire with a career spanning modelling, fashion, cosmetics, TV acting, etc., and yet she’s gone too soon at just 27, because she chose* death to escape a tortured existence... (Just like many other legends have before her, who passed away from their own coping mechanisms in addiction and etc.) It’s definitely tragic, but there’s also a sort of dangerous romanticism that certain people associate Club 27 with, which unfortunately I think would be in line with Misa’s worldview too. 

(HUGE DISCLAIMER HERE, ok, I do not condone this sort of thinking! This poem is a persona poem! The views represented here do not represent my own. But it is in my opinion the sort of unhealthy ideas Misa would’ve believed in. )

But you know what though. Insisting to keep “widowed at twenty-seven” on this line had its consequences too, because then I had to find a word that rhymed for the last line, which brings us to...

From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven

Bro, this line gave me soooo much trouble trying to piece back together the thought process behind it. The front part is pretty self-explanatory, it’s a “made Heaven” because Kira’s empire is just made by one man claiming to be God. It’s an artificial Heaven, not a real one. But dang, “shriven”??? 

2015!me was being too clever for my own good. Forget all the wack shit I was shitposting in the fandom about, this is the thing that’s ultimately come back to bite me in the ass, isn’t it

Ok but we’re here now, and we gotta finish this ‘DVD commentary’, so let’s get into it. Obviously I was trying to keep up the whole motif of God and Heaven and religion, so I went looking for a word that would fit the theme. Except, to be completely honest, I was raised irreligious, so when I chose the word “shriven” I kinda just chose it because (1) it sounded cool; (2) it rhymes. I don’t have any emotional connection to the word and I certainly don’t have a nuanced grasp of its meaning, which, really bad form of me as a poet. I don’t do that anymore. (And it’s probably the reason why I kept this in the fandom corners and never shared it in class back then 😭 I was hoping I wouldn’t be quizzed on this lmaooo)

But what I do know, is that “shriven” means to confess and receive penance for one’s sins. And I was aiming for meta here - because there is the Catholic concept of punishment and repentance for one’s wrongdoings, but there is also the secular, judicial concept of punishment and reform for one’s crimes. And, okay, I was making some assumptions* here, i.e. even without her memories Misa could guess something happened to Light, and that something had to do with the Kira case. She’s a bottle blonde, but she’s not dumb dumb, so she could’ve reasonably made an educated guess. So then, “lest I too be shriven”: in a way, Misa is choosing* suicide in fear of being “shriven” by the criminal justice system much the same way they’ve done Light in. And even without the judicial component, she could (and logically, should) be wary of the general persecution and social stigma that comes with being involved in a high-profile criminal investigation like this. (Because it wasn’t just any other criminal, it was Kira, the world’s most wanted killer and mass-murderer, and there’s still plenty of people left in the world with a bone to pick with Kira’s ideology, methods, and many more left with a vendetta for the loved ones Kira has taken away from them.) So this line sets up a nice subtle dichotomy, one that flips the script, because now she’s not the one who passes ‘divine’ judgement, delivers punishments and ‘shrives’ the criminals by Kira’s side, now she’s ‘fallen from grace’ (so to speak) from their 'made Heaven’ and she’s the one running away from being delivered justice and penance.

Pretty cool, right? But honestly, if I had a chance to write this poem again I would not do this to myself ( T д T ) The cool rhyme scheme is not worth all this mental gymnastics just to get at the idea I was trying to communicate ( T _ T )

(*) Note: 

I kept talking about Misa “choosing” death, but the very idea itself is also a bit of an assumption on my part. Sure, at face value we have no reason to suspect it’s not an act she chose to commit of her volition. But, there’s also been talk about whether her choosing to commit suicide at 27 is simply a result of her shortened lifespan after her having traded her remaining years away twice. Like it was simply time’s up for her at 27, and she had to die one way or another. Another consideration is the fact that Ryuk has stated all users of Death Note are cursed with an unhappy life / end eventually. There’s no telling whether that’s another contributing factor to Misa’s suicide, too. But for this poem and the sake of its concentrated narrative focus, I’ve chosen to go with the interpretation that Misa chose to commit suicide of her own accord. That bit of commentary on “lest I too be shriven” also subscribes to the particular school of interpretations / headcanons that Misa possessed far more cognizance than we expect throughout the whole investigation and story of Death Note. Like I said, she’s a bottle blonde, but she’s not dumb dumb. I like the fanon that’s been gaining popularity in recent years, the idea that Misa is plenty capable and cunning for a normal civilian and young entrepreneur. She just seems dumb next to literal geniuses.

[goofygoldengirl]

A Stoic Mind And A Bleeding Heart: An Angsty Gabenath Playlist

1. Your Guardian Angel: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus  Use me as you will. Pull my strings for a thrill. And I know I’ll be ok. Though my skies are turning grey. 

2. My Manic & I: Laura Marling 

He greets me with kisses when good days deceive him.And sometimes we're scorned and sometimes I believe him.And sometimes I'm convinced, my friends think I'm crazy. Get scared and call him but he's usually hazy.

3. Black Balloon: The Goo Goo Dolls Comin' down the years turn over.And angels fall without you there.And I'll go on and I'll lead you home andI'll become what you became to me.

4. Apocalypse: Cigarettes After Sex You've been locked in here forever and you just can't say goodbye.

5. Gethsemane: Dry The River Excavating down you'd find the drowning and the drowned and then there's us, babe. You could walk to our memorial, but it's pouring and it ends how you'd expect.

6. Hide And Seek: Imogen Heap Blood and tears. They were here first. Mm, what'd you say? Mm, that you only meant well.

7. Losing My Religion: REM What if all these fantasies come flailing around? Now I've said too much.

8. Let Her Go: Passenger Well you see her when you fall asleep. But never to touch and never to keep. 'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep.

9. Run: Daughter I don't know what we're doing. I don't know what we've done. But the fire is coming. So I think we should run.

10. Love The Way You Lie (Piano): Rihanna Even angels have their wicked schemes. And you take that to new extremes. But you’ll always be my hero. Even though you’ve lost your mind.

11. Sally’s Song: Amy Lee And though I'd like to stand by him. Can't shake this feeling that I have. The worst is just around the bend.

12. Reminder: Mumford & Sons So watch the world tear us apart. A stoic mind and a bleeding heart. You never see my bleeding heart.

13. Corner Of Your Heart: Ingrid Michaelson I will pack my bags just to stay in the corner of your heart.

14. You: Keaton Henson If you must die, sweetheart. Die knowing your life was my life's best part. If you must die. Remember your life.

15. Gravity: Sara Bareilles  Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile. When I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while. And all my fragile strength is gone.

[writingpuddle]

Tag Game

I was tagged by @saltierthanbottomofapretzelbag to give 10 songs I’ve been listening to recently, thank you so much!. i am...perhaps not the best at these musical ones as i don’t actually listen to as much music as i always think i should lmao but here goes!

1. Everybody Knows - Sigrid

2. Just like. The entire Greatest Showman soundtrack on repeat

3. Drops of Jupiter - Train

4. Could Have Been Me - the Struts

5. Afraid of Heights - Billy Talent

6. Losing My Religion - REM

7. More Than This - Shane Mack

8. Better Than I Know Myself - Adam Lambert

9. Alive - Meatloaf

10. You and Me - Parachute

tagging @luci-cunt @thebashfulpoet @fuzzballsheltiepants @sig66

[dreamdaddydutch]

Van der Linde Gang - Time Travel Karaoke Headcanons

I was listening to the radio in work the other day and this idea popped into my mind. I haven’t done Karaoke in years but when I lived in Manchester I LOVED IT (Apart from at Christmas when Maria Carey – All I want for Christmas (is you) would play like 5 times in a row... Anyway, below are some thoughts on how the Van der Linde gang would react to the idea of Karaoke along with some song suggestions for what they’d sing. (I might make a part 2) 

When you first suggest going to Karaoke, the gang are mostly confused, but some of the younger members are truly excited.

Sean especially, if there’s alcohol and a party to be had, he’s there!

Micah thinks it’s one of the most ridiculous things he’s ever heard – but you bet your ass he’ll be there – all he really wants is to be included in things. But just don’t expect him to sing.

Bill also thinks it’s stupid – at least that’s what he says out loud, secretly he’s thinking about the songs he’s heard on the radio and deciding which one he wants to sing.

Javier thinks it’s kinda sweet and will be nice for the gang to do something together that doesn’t involve a ‘plan’ for once. Also he’s secretly a little excited, after-all he’s a great singer and will take his time deciding what he’s gonna sing.

Dutch suggests a duet with Molly as a way to make amends, Molly is instantly touched by this and spends the day excited that Dutch finally wants to be seen together as a couple again.

Kieran is gonna use this as an opportunity to show a special someone how he feels about them.

Strauss surprises everyone by looking forward to the event

The gang all get dressed up, overly so… It’s only when they get there that they realise it’s actually quite a casual affair and the men feel a little silly in their suites. You just find that you don’t have the heart to tell them when they’re getting ready. But promise after the event to take them shopping for next time – because of course they’ll be a next time.

Arthur kinda rolls his eyes at the suggestion, but is won-over by the charm of the evening.

When the gang first arrive at the bar they are a little over-overwhelmed by how busy it is along with all the bright and flashing lights. It’s so new to them, like a completely different world and a little over-whelming.

You and Hosea have the foresight to book several large booths in advance so that the gang can at least sit together.

As soon as the gang start drinking, Abigail is in ‘mom’ mode, making sure they have water on the table and ordering plates of nibbles. 

The gang soak up the atmosphere for at least an hour before any of them decide to give it a go. 

In the mean time, Lenny, Tilly, Mary-Beth, Sean, Karen, Swanson (to everyone’s surprise) and John enjoy a dance. 

The first to perform is Sean - He enthusiastically grabs the mic like a real front man in a band, he choses to sing ‘Drunken Lullabies’ by Flogging Molly, much to the delight and support of most of the gang who are clapping along and up on the tables.

Tilly, Karen and Mary-Beth agree to perform together – I’m thinking The Puppini Sisters style, maybe ‘Side by side’ (if you don’t know who they are, check them out, they’re INCREDIBLE)

Susan sings ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celine Dion, which the gang can’t help but feel is directed at Dutch.

Charles, who has been sat happily watching the others and tapping his fingers in time with the music on the table, gets up and sings ‘Mad World’ by Tears For Fears (probably the Gary Jules version) 

Arthur, Javier and Uncle end up singing a Mumford and Sons song - probably ‘Little Lion Man’ 

Javier would take his guitar up and sing, ‘Common People’ - By Pulp. 

Lenny will sing something peaceful like, ‘Nature Boy’ by Nat King Cole. 

Kieran, Sean, Tilly and Mary-Beth discover glow-sticks and immediately have to have as many as they can get their hands on. 

Arthur and Lenny discover snakebites (cider and beer) and this is pretty much the end of them for the night and reminds them of ‘that time’ in Valentine. 

Stauss sings, ‘Money’ - The Flying Lizards version. 

Bill walks on stage nonchalantly and sings ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ by The Clash. He drinks a lot whilst he’s singing. 

Abigail sings ‘Glitter in the Air’ by Pink and dedicates it to John.

John sings ‘Folsom Prison Blues’ by Johnny Cash - he puts real emotion into every word too. 

Swanson is embarrassed to get up on the stage at first, but Karen and Abigail reassure him and hold his hand as he walks up, he sings, ‘Losing my Religion’ by REM. 

You KNOW that Arthur, Charles, John and Javier are going to sing a rendition of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen once drunk enough.

Pearson thinks it’s hilarious to sing a Christmas song in August, he picks, ‘It Feels Like Christmas,’ from The Muppets Christmas Carol.

Arthur, once he’s knocked back enough whiskey, walks solemnly onto the stage and sings, ‘Hurt’ by Nine Inch Nails. He sings it beautifully, it brings tears to more than a few peoples eyes. 

Despite their planned duet, Molly gets up to sing, ‘Stay’ by Shakespeare’s Sister. Dutch is transfixed, unable to look anywhere else but at her and decides, resolutely that he will stay. 

Dutch & Hosea have to sing a duet, they have their arms around one another as they sing, ‘O Children’ by Nick Cave. 

Sean and Kieran leap onto the stage, interrupting the end of whoever was singing before to blare out, ‘Kickstart My Heart,’ by Motley Crue. Kieran really comes out of his shell and has one of the best nights of his life.  

Dutch and Molly sing passionately, both staring into one another’s eyes as they sing,‘Up Where We Belong,’ by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes.

Hosea will anxiously walk onto the stage but once he starts to sing he gets well and truly into it, beautifully singing, ‘What a wonderful world’ by Louis Armstrong. 

Trelawny is in his element of course! He’s likely to sing something modern like ‘Shut up and Dance with me,’ by Walk The Moon - he dances a lot and cannot resist doing a magic trick at the end. 

Uncle drunkenly stumbles onto stage to sing, ‘Girls just wanna have fun’ by Cyndi Lauper much to the delight of the ladies in the gang who join him on stage dancing. 

Virtually the whole gang would end up in a conga going round the club towards the end of the night, Micah, Strauss, Susan and Dutch are likely to sit this one out.

Afterwards they would so be up for a kebab! It’s gonna be 50/50 for who loves garlic mayo and who hates it. Arthur loves cheesy chips. Javier loves chips, cheese and gravy. Karen is all about anything in batter. 

On the way home they’re gonna burst into a rendition of ‘Can you hear the people sing?’ from Les Miserables.

[stimmyvillainarchive]

hey actually I know I’ve been joking around but I’mma. explain a few things cause I’ve been internally avoiding this topic for awhile cause I feel like I’m being an attention seeker if I go into detail about things. But uh friends are starting to notice lately I’ll explain. I’ll put it under the cut for anyone who doesn’t wanna read my icky stuff. Also y’all started sending in fun/chill asks while I was in the middle of writing this so sorry if it seems like it’s come out of left field.

(tw for religion/christianity/religious abuse and LGBT+phobia/transphobia/panphobia)

First I wanna say I’m sorry for my eratic, often non-stim related activity on this blog. I’ve mentioned being depressed but I haven’t really gone into detail. Some of y’all know the situation with my dad leaving and me having to work to pay for the bills. Good news is that shit has been for the most part resolved. my dad’s actually back and we patched up our relationship. I actually talk to him and communicate with him and him and my mom have worked things out. Which is nice cause now we’re all working and we’re all getting along better. So that’s nice.

But uh, during this time I started going to a church my mom and grandma attend. And I was kinda. a big deal there. I don’t wanna get into specifics but basically a lot of people know me now for it. And they made me feel special and good about myself. This part I know I talked about here before but uh. I wanted to be baptized on easter. And the guy who was going to do my baptism basically told me that either I break up with boo and go through what is essentially THEIR version of conversion therapy or he won’t do the baptism. that may not sound like anything to you but that. that shit fucked me up. really bad. I really trusted the people there and I opened up in a way I hadn’t before and now I just feel. like I’m disgusting when I’m openly queer or don’t conform to cis standards. Which was an issue I had worked out and now I’m going through all over again. I can talk about it some days but then others I feel like I gotta. shut up about it. It’s easier to talk about it online but irl it’s been much harder. And unfortunately the people at the church know where I work so on top of working a job I absolutely hate with a manager that DOES NOT like me, I’m constantly paranoid that someone’s going to walk in and recognize me (it’s already happened, but I’m scared to death someone like the person who was going to do my baptism will show up. I can’t tell you how fucking scary it is when the guy who would only speak to you privately and in a secluded area that you need to give up your gay in order to truly be a Christian knows where you work and where you live.) and honestly, I’m just plagued with neverending anxiety at this point. And it’s affected how I just. function. I don’t eat much anymore and I rarely get more than an average of 2-3 hours of sleep. I just realized today that for the past two days I’d eaten nothing but a hot pocket and a slim jim. Most of the time my anxiety makes me so sick to my stomach that eating feels impossible so I just. don’t. As for sleep I don’t really sleep because I’ve had constant and repeated nightmares so every time I hit rem I’m not in for long before I’m jolted awake. Last night was the first I’d actually slept for an appropriate time in months.

I’m dealing with a lot of shit rn, a lot of it is just. self loathing. So I’ve lost enjoyment in doing things that makes me happy cause I just don’t feel I deserve to be happy. Saying it out loud should make me. idk. know how to deal with it but it doesn’t. There’s been more than just the shit with the church and I’ve realized I’m kinda an idiot! and no one wants to deal with me because I’m too depressed and because I don’t act allistic. And before you throw in your “I like you!” asks 1. I’m not looking for sympathy and please don’t take this as a pity party, I’m just trying to explain things and 2. I don’t need people to lie for me or exaggerate things for me. Y’all don’t know what I’m like irl. I don’t follow social situations well, I mess up a lot, I’m too clumsy, I’m too much of a downer, I don’t wanna do anything anymore. It’s fine, I wasn’t cut out for this shit and I wouldn’t wanna deal with me either. No one owes me their time, affection, whatever. I’m not entitled to anyone’s praise. So, it’s cool. I’m just coming to grips with how much I really don’t like myself.

And uh. After that experience with the church I lost my faith. I no longer consider myself a christian and losing my belief in the one thing I felt I could always trust has further ruined me. Every christian community I’ve tried to participate in has rejected me for who I am. And I’ve just come to realize I don’t believe in the same stuff that Christianity teaches. I won’t go into super big details about my beliefs but yeah. These people would consider me a godless heathen at this point. And now I feel irrational anger or want to cry at christianity/topics about it. Which when you live in a Christian household with gospel music constantly playing and reminders about how much this god wants you to die for being a nasty faggot well, that shit is hard to deal with.

So yeah. I know right after this I’m gonna act more chill and more like my “who gives a fuck” self or. whoever the fuck he is. But people have noticed I don’t talk much anymore and that I haven’t been very active here. And I’m sorry about how inactive the blog’s been lately. Idk if this’ll forever be on a hiatus, I’d like to do more here again. But I don’t do anything anymore. The most I’ve done is draw something for elly and that’s about it. Cause now every time I try to make something I enjoy all I can think about is how stupid it is and how stupid I am for wanting to enjoy it and then I end up doing nothing all day or I go to work and then come back and do nothing. so in the meantime I’m sorry if all I do is bitch or make stupid posts, I’m trying to communicate more before I eventually lose the will to try. and I’m sorry if this post makes things awkward because I’m about to answer more positive asks and act okay right after I post this, but I’ve been avoiding being honest about this for awhile and my anxiety got so bad today that the only thing that’s alleviated it has been writing this. So, I’m sorry to the people who I made worry or that it seems I’ve ignored. I’m not trying to ignore anyone, but I honestly can’t muster the energy to just simply interact with people lately. I don’t think I’ll be abandoning this blog but idk if I’m ready to manage it properly like I used to. idk when I’ll BE ready but I’m sorry to those who’ve had to deal with my bullshit and lack of stims lately. 

TL;DR: I’m in a deep depression because the church I attended/was passionate about/was a big deal in rejected me for being queer, I’m in a constant state of anxiety and/or despair, I no longer enjoy doing anything, I hate myself, I work a job I hate, and I’m going to go back to acting like shit’s okay but people were suspecting something was wrong and they’re starting to worry so here’s my explanation.

[verytamenow]

Any or all of them, huh? All of them

That wasn’t a this or that thing but I’m bored and technically did ask for it so fine...smartass...

1. What is you middle name? Eric Lynn

2. How old are you? 27

3. When is your birthday? June 8

4. What is your zodiac sign? Gemini

5. What is your favorite color? It depends. To wear? For walls? For a car? In general, steel blue.

6. What’s your lucky number? I don’t really have one, but I’ll choose 7 or 13 if I have to pick one.

7. Do you have any pets? I’m not a pet person

8. Where are you from? Socal

9. How tall are you? 5′5.5″

10. What shoe size are you? US Mens 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Umm...shit...like....6?

12. What was your last dream about? I honestly don’t even remember.

13. What talents do you have? Bold of you to assume I could have talents

14. Are you psychic in any way? I’ve had a couple premonition like dreams, but they clue me in to anything important and I don’t wake up remembering much of them.

15. Favorite song? Losing My Religion by REM

16. Favorite movie? Alien, maybe? Or Iron Man.

17. Who would be your ideal partner? I don’t have a specific person in mind. Definitely someone patient but unwilling to tolerate any bullshit. Must understand sarcasm.

18. Do you want children? Dear gods NO!

19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’t particularly care. I don’t really want one but I’d do it if my partner wanted one. No guarantee I’d not get struck down entering the church.

20. Are you religious? Not really. I struggle with the concept of organized religion. But I do respect spirituality so long as it’s not being used to justify bigotry and have some sort of vague belief in it. 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Both for my own care and to visit family, none of which are fond memories.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I haven’t.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? No, not yet. But hopefully one day Taylor will run out of other people to meet and finally take pity on me.

24. Baths or showers? Showers! I can’t stand baths for more than 10-15 minutes but can take an hour long shower.

25. What color socks are you wearing? Light and dark blue striped socks.

26. Have you ever been famous? No.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Yes and no. I’d not say no to the potential money involved. But I’m a quiet guy and if I couldn’t find a way to protect my privacy like Taylor’s managed, I’d be done with it pretty quickly.

28. What type of music do you like? A bit of everything, but I’ve been on a pop kick recently.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No, but I’d give it a go in the right setting.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? One, unless they’re not firm enough.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually fall asleep on my side.

32. How big is your house? Few bedrooms and a couple bathrooms, 2 stories. Decent sized.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I usually don’t. But if I wake up starving, I’ll try to find some leftover chicken or something to munch on, usually cold. 

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah, fired a few different types. I’m not a great shot and I don’t handle the noise well. I struggle pulling the trigger for whatever reason.

35. Have you ever tried archery? I haven’t but I really want to!

36. Favorite clean word? Strobocopic is the first word that comes to mind and that’s 100% my dad’s fault, damn him.

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? About 48 hours? I’ll usually take a sleeping pill or pass out on my own by then.

39. Do you have any scars? Ignoring the obvious quip about mental ones, I’ve got a couple physical. Got a faint one on my knee from busting it open as a kid that you can’t really see now. Got a fair few stretch marks and some acne scars as well.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I did, they were so secret I didn’t know about them.

41. Are you a good liar? Depends on what it is and how close I am to them. I can lie alright on phone or text unless you know me well or tell a stranger a white lie. But I’ve got no poker face whatsoever so I suck at the big ones, and the closer I am to someone the worse I get at lying. 

42. Are you a good judge of character? Kinda? I haven’t trusted too many assholes but like anyone I can overlook the bad in someone I care about. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Nope.

44. Do you have a strong accent? I don’t think so.

45. What is your favorite accent? British or Australian.

46. What is your personality type? Impatient but laid back smartass with a mixed sense of self preservation. I’m a pretty go with the flow guy, but yeah patience isn’t my strong suit.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My redwing boots.

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie.

50. Left or right handed? Strongly right-handed.

51. Are you scared of spiders? I’m fucking terrified of them. It’s sad, really. Even the small ones.

52. Favorite food? Seafood in general or a good rare steak.

53. Favorite foreign food? Sushi!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m a mess tbh. I try but I can’t quite seem to keep things up.

55. Most used phrased? “Fuck” probably.

56. Most used word? See above.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? About 30 with a shower.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I’d like to say no, but I know I’ve got a bit of pride about some things.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck until they’re almost gone and then bite.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Not so much now. If I’m alone in the house for an extended period, or I’m trying to work something out or stay focused, then yeah.

61. Do you sing to yourself? I rarely sing along to music in the car, let alone casually to myself.

62. Are you a good singer? Gods no.

63. Biggest Fear? The glib answer is spiders. But in the spirit of the question lise: the actual answer is the inevitable fuck up that is the last straw that leds to people leaving.

64. Are you a gossip? Yes and no? I don’t spread serious rumours, but I’ll absolutely talk shit with those I’m closest with. Kinda a nosey little prick too, I like knowing things.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? My mind kinda went straight to titanic. The 90s jumped out.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I wear my hair short (because getting misgendered makes me want to fling myself off the nearest cliff), but would theoretically consider wearing it longer if/when my facial hair comes in. On a partner, I like either.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I wouldn’t put money on it, but if I could see a list as I named them, I’d probably manage okay.

68. Favorite school subject? History. Or mythology, though that wasn’t a dedicated subject.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert AF.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No and I don’t think I ever would. 

71. What makes you nervous? It’s the anxiety, bro.

72. Are you scared of the dark? More scared of the tricks my mind can play on me in it, especially if I’m trying to sleep.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends on how close I am and what the mistake is.

74. Are you ticklish? Very and I don’t find being tickled funny or enjoyable. I’m likely to get pretty pissed off if someone tickles me intentionally.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Never intentionally.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Not really? Not with any real power.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Tried a few things, didn’t care for the taste.78. Have you ever done drugs? I tried pot but I can’t inhale for shit so it didn’t do anything for me.

79. Who was your first real crush? The first I can recall was a boy named Corbin in the first grade. He had dark hair and eyes and was nice and I thought he was cute and fun to play with. Then there was a girl named Emily who was tall and blonde. I don’t think I really knew they were crushes though. The first time I had a crush and KNEW it was a crush was high school, on a girl in my chem class and then on my physics teacher in my junior year.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your Rs? Not anymore.

82. How fast can you type? 45-ish WPM?

83. How fast can you run? Not very fast.

84. What color is your hair? Dark blonde.

85. What color is your eyes? Blue.

86. What are you allergic to? Some laundry detergent. If it’s heavily scented I will break out in hives.

87. Do you keep a journal? No, but I’ve been told I should.

88. What do your parents do? My dad works in IT.

89. Do you like your age? Yes and no. I don’t have a problem with my age or nearing 30, but I could also fuck up my life in new and interesting ways if I could be younger knowing what I know now.

90. What makes you angry? Bigotry. Willful ignorance and unwillingness to listen. Hypocrisy. 

91. Do you like your own name? Yes, which is why I picked it.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I have zero, if not negative, desire to reproduce. But I like gender neutral names for girls - Parker, Peyton, Reagan, etc.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I don’t want either but I REALLY would not know what to do with a child who liked traditionally feminine things.

94. What are you strengths? Sheer stubbornness.

95. What are your weaknesses? Impatience.

96. How did you get your name? I wanted to keep my initials and Zach was the name that came to mind and felt right.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? If you go back far enough, you’ll usually stumble across it.

98. Do you have any scars? Wasn’t this a previous question???

99. Color of your bedspread? Blue, not that I use it.

100. Color of your room? White. Never did get around to painting it.

[happystrawberry1998]

22 questions

Ahh what an honor, thank you so much for tagging me , Meg @skamamoroma <3

Name/Nickname:  Marie.   Mariechen, Motte

Zodiac sign: Aquarius <3

Height: 170-173 cm

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Last thing I googled: are there vegan cornetti in Italy (I should have checked on Saturday lol)

Favorite Musician/ s: Definitely Green Day and Vance Joy. But I also like Dean Lewis

Last song I listened to: Lord Huron- Meet me in the woods

Song stuck in my head: Buon Viaggo of course

Followers: I usually never post anything, yesterday was an exception because of the convention in Milan, I normally just like and reblog stuff but I still managed to get 91 lovely followers so thank you lovelies

Following: 471 ( I love tumblr :D)

Amount of sleep: I have a hard time falling asleep but once I am asleep I can sleep for 10 hours straight. Normally though between 7-8

Lucky number: 11

What I am wearing: Red and white striped pj pants and my shirt from Albuquerque, New Mexico as my pj’s tonight :-)

Dream job: English teacher

Dream trip: Visit Cape Town again. To this day the most beautiful city I have ever been to. Nothing beats paragliding over the Table Mountain or seeing wild dolphins and penguins while in a kajak. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

Favorite food: Pasta and chocolate

Instruments: None, that’s so embarrasing...

Languages: German, English, the basics of Norwegian and currently learning Italian because I am moving to Rome in 10 days

Favorite songs: Riptide-Vance Joy,   Losing my Religion-REM,   Revolution-Tracy Chapman and every single song of Ultimo

Random fact: I love sitting in a subway and watching the other  train on the opposite track slowly approaching. The headlights slowly creeping closer. It’s so weird, but I love it

Aesthetic: Boys in oversized sweaters.

I tag the lovely​ @alamanyar @poisonapple83, @champagneholland and @silentccries <3 only if you want to do it of course!