#remember having time for stuff - that was great

[reiderwriter]

🔫 Oh, Captain, My Captain 🔫

Pairing: Unit Chief!Spencer Reid x Fem BAU!Reader

For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge 2024

Requested: Unit Cheif!Spencer who uses gun training as an excuse to rub up on the new member🤭

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI Gun kink, dubcon, dry humping, pictures/photos, age gap, Pervert! Spencer, unprotected sex, implied cream pie, semi-public sex, boss x employee dynamic, spanking, masturbation, slight cum play, degradation (slut, whore etc), praise kink if you squint (good girl).

A/N: This is my first entry for the CM Kink Bingo challenge 2024~! I chose a lot of the prompts based on some of the smut requests in my inbox and let my TELL you I was SO EXCITED to write Unit Chief + gun kink!!! I'm so excited for this entire challenge tbh, it reminds me of the good old days on past years' Kinktober 😂🥰

Masterlist || Bingo Board

When Spencer Reid was made the interim Unit Chief for the BAU, he agreed with the reasoning. At the time, he really couldn't argue that he was aptly experienced, responsible enough to make big decisions, and reliable. And whilst he had been through a lot in the last two decades with the FBI, he still did value his own sense of morality. 

He accepted the job and then was assigned you as an intern, and suddenly, he didn't agree with any previous assessment of him. 

Experienced, yes, but he was still stammering and rambling when discussing simple things like the weather. He certainly wasn't responsible enough to keep his eyes off you, and he probably couldn't be relied on in the field to focus instead of thinking about your pretty, plump lips and how they would feel wrapped around his cock. 

All morality had gone out of the window after a week of working with you when he closed his office blinds, popped his pants open and took his cock in hand, relieving himself while staring at your newly printed ID card. 

He had a lot of power, during the few months Emily was away, and he was trying desperately not to use it. 

Unfortunately, with great power comes a great amount of orders to give, and since you reported directly to Unit Chief Reid, you'd become his de facto shadow for the first few weeks. You bought him coffees when you got your own, asked him for quick run downs of past cases so you could take notes and remember relevant details for later, asked him for help writing reports. 

Which caused the blinds to be drawn at least once a day as he desperately tried to keep his hands off you. 

Emily had joked when leaving him behind that she'd usually give the new boss the “don't shit where you eat” speech, especially with people in your chain of command, but it really wasn't necessary with him. Of all people. 

It didn't help that you were so damn clumsy in the office. You were usually pretty calm and collected, but since starting at the BAU, the pressure was getting to you a bit. 

You made small mistakes, you double, and triple checked your work, and you were constantly in Spencer's office asking him for opinions on topics, for background information, and for, well, reassurance. 

And you dropped stuff. A lot of stuff. 

Your analytical Monday have been perfectly suited to the BAU, but somewhere between your head and your hands, all your body parts refused to function adeptly. You'd dropped things constantly, tripped on your own feet, and constantly bumped into people even while they stood still. 

Not to mention the time your dropped your (thankfully, iced) coffee all over Spencer's lap when you'd brought him his own. 

“Oh my- Oh my god, Doctor Reid, I am so so sorry,” you scrambled, immediately grabbing tissues as he jumped up from the desk. 

“Please let me help you, god, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry-” you said, patting away as his lap as he stood frozen in front of you. You dropped to your knees to mop up the traces of coffee still running down his thighs, as he stammered. 

“Y/N, please, you don't need to, I have a spare pair I can-” 

“I'll have them dry cleaned, I promise,” you begged, just as a knock sounded and the door to his office swung back open for JJ to enter through. 

“Spencer, the files for the- woah! Okay, I'm not jumping to conclusions, but I'm still backing out of this room right now.” 

She laughed her way out of the room, which was when your brain finally caught up to your hands and realized the stupid position you'd put yourself in. 

You'd practically pushed your boss up against the wall, kneeled before him, and begged to touch him. 

You'd squeaked out an apology and quickly left the office, much to Spencer's relief, because even after an ice bath and semi-public humiliation, he was hard and horny and his IQ had been knocked to roughly 7. 

How he'd wanted to keep you pinned in place, to stroke your cheek as he made sure you took each inch of him down your throat slowly, filling you up so you couldn't escape. 

How he'd wanted to keep his job as well, something he'd probably not get to do if JJ had decided to walk back in, or - god forbid - bring other witnesses to his debauchery. 

You were clumsy, and he was desperately horny, and you were both complete and total messes.

“I don't see how I can help you, Y/N,” Tara held up her hands in defeat as you begged for her help. 

“I'm competent with a gun, but it's not something I can teach you. I wouldn't know where to start.” 

“I just need someone to show me how to hold it properly. There's a trick to it, right? There has to be a trick to it?” 

“Ah yes, the old aim and shoot trick, I forgot about that one,” Rossi laughed, shaking his head at your office antics. 

You'd been interning for a few weeks, and the latest in a line of ability tests was shooting. You'd pretty much aced the physical fitness test, but you'd never even held a gun before joining the FBI, and you were struggling. 

“I've put in 10 hours at the shooting range in the last week, and the closest I've got to an accurate shot was hitting the next lane's paper. Don't ask.”

Your coworkers shared a sympathetic look as you sat down at the round table, ready to hear the next case details. 

“I'm relegated to office work until I pass this certificate, and I was not made for sitting at a desk for 7 hours.” 

“Well, why don't you ask Reid for help?” JJ said helpfully, bringing her coffee to her lips to hide the meddling smile plastered there. 

“Reid?” 

“He had some issues shooting when he was a rookie as well, but he put in some hours at the range, and now he's the best shot on the team.” 

“Easy there, blondie, I'm nothing to sniff at with a gun myself,” Rossi smiled, patting himself on the back. 

“I'm sure he'd enjoy helping you,” JJ continued. 

“Who would enjoy what?” Spencer said, finally joining the team in the meeting room and pulling out the case files as everyone opened up their tablets. 

“Y/N was just saying she's having some trouble shooting, and I suggested she ask for your help?” 

He froze momentarily and stared down at you as you looked up at him, hopefully, a shy smile on your face. 

He tried to keep his eyes on yours, but from this height, he had the perfect view down your shirt, your perfect-sized breasts pressing together as you leaned towards him, giving him a generous eyeful. 

He looked away quickly and nodded his agreement, sitting himself down and attaching his eyes to the files instead so he could get his mind off of  your body, and your lips, and the begging that surely would've come out of your mouth had he not accepted earlier. His brain was tormenting him with images of you underneath him, under his desk even, his cock in your mouth as you paid for his precious time training you. He blinked away the thoughts and, for once in his life, actually had to put effort into reading and understanding each word on a page as he ignored the raging fire of his lust. 

A few hours later, the two of you were at the shooting range. 

“My main problem is shooting. The instructors said my form isn't great either and that I looked like a child playing with toys whenever I hold a gun, so if you could help with that…?” You said, putting on the goggles and turning back to look at your boss. 

“Doctor Reid?” You asked. 

“Oh, yeah. Yes, they said something similar when I was training. First, let's see what you can do.” 

You smiled at him as he watched you bounce up to the lane and pick up the gun. You calmed your breathing and got ready to take the safety off when you felt a hard hand clamp over your own and pull the gun from your hand. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, staring down at you with wide eyes. 

“You said to show you-”

“You're not wearing a vest.” 

You cursed quickly as he pulled you back over to the side of the room. The place was practically deserted, as it was past the official closing hours of the range, but Spencer had been forced to pull some strings with his new title and had managed to keep it open (and somehow unmanned) until now. 

He quickly grabbed the first vest he saw and pulled it over your head, taking the side straps and tightening them until the vest was comfortably protecting all your major organs. His hands lingered for a second, and you stared shocked up at him, somehow enjoying the way he pushed you around. 

You were a grown woman, and you could do this all by yourself, but there was something about a man roughly a decade and a half older than you controlling your movements that were entirely too dangerous. You quickly stepped away and back to the podium, whispering a quick thanks under your breath as you tried to ignore the heat pooling between your legs. 

You stretched out your neck a little as you felt him walk back behind you again, keeping his distance as he watched you shoot your first clip at the targets. 

Out of six bullets, you'd missed the target five times and had grazed just below the targets arm once, a brilliant display of your natural lack of talent. 

“Your form is wrong. You're holding yourself too rigid, which means the recoil has a higher chance to hurt you. Loosen your arms slightly.”

His advice was actually good  and you followed his instructions closely, listening clearly as he walked you through each tip. 

“Like this?” 

“A little more… here, let me.” 

You had no chance to react before his body was pressed behind yours and his hands were wrapped around your own, moving g each finger by a fraction to improve your grip, trailing up your arms slowly, leaving a field of goosebumps wherever his fingers grazed. He repositioned your elbows before moving forward his hands down to your hips, turning them slightly as he widened your stance. 

“Try now.” 

Breathless, you could only nod as he stepped back, unaware if he'd even said anything since his hands had landed on you. 

You forced yourself to breathe again and took one shot.

"Oh my god, it hit. Spencer, it hit!” 

“Do it again and we can celebrate.” 

Another five shots later, and you'd managed a small cluster of hits around the arms and one shot. 

“You're definitely veering left, so let's try and over correct by aiming to the right.”

He pushed up against you again and held the gun, moving it to the right a fraction, taking complete control of your body. 

If your breath was scarce before, it was totally gone now as you felt his crotch press up against your ass. Considering the bulletproof vests put an extra inch around your chests, he was absolutely doing it on purpose, and you were shocked to realize you were too. 

You'd pushed your ass back into him, grinding slowly on his hardening cock as he hooked his head over your shoulder, looked down the sight with you, and fired the gun. 

Straight into the center of the target. 

“Good girl,” he whispered before pulling away.  

He moved two meters away from you, and maintained the distance for the rest of the night, and even though you were both aware of his hard cock tightening his pants, neither of you said a word. 

“Same time tomorrow,” he said and grabbed his jacket to leave. It was the first thing he'd said as your Unit Chief that even vaguely sounded like a command and not an enthusiastic suggestion, and you were suddenly very excited for the rest of the week. 

“Before we start,” he said the next day, unbuttoning his shirt sleeves and rolling them up to his elbows neatly. “Show me your posture again.” 

He gestured towards one of the dummy guns at the side of the range, the style you recognised from mission training that held small layers instead of bullets - same weight, same mechanism, no lethality. 

You'd spent the day and night worked up from the last time you'd been here with him, and a small part of you felt disappointed you were starting with the kiddy gun. Not one to miss an opportunity, though. You bent over to pick it up, making sure to bend at the waist right in front of him to show off your ass. 

Maybe you'd gone crazy, but the memory of his touch was burning you from the inside out and you needed to feel it again to make sure you weren't crazy. 

He maintained his distance, though. It was hard for him to keep his hands off you in all honesty, arms crossed to keep himself from crossing any more lines. That and he was sure that you'd be able to tell he'd spurted cum all over them in his office the night before despite him scrubbing them thoroughly multiple times, the weight of his guilt eating into him like a parasite.

“Arms up, point straight. Good.” You tried to keep still as he assessed your form, but his eyes prowled over you thoroughly, and you had to suppress a shudder. 

“You need to control your breathing, Y/N, you can't be afraid of pulling the trigger if you need to.” 

“I'm not-” 

“Shoulders back,” he said, moving to your side as he again began slightly correcting your form. 

Unlike the day before, though, this time, there were no bullets. And no bullets meant no bulletproof vest. 

That's why when his exploring hands came to your chest, he could feel your hardening nipples through the flimsy material of your dress. He could feel you pressing forward into his touch as his hands cupped your breast.

“Calm your heartbeat, Y/N. You need to stay calm so you can shoot straight, right?” 

The words sounded alien, even to him. His gaze was locked on the top of your shirt, looking down it to the slope of your chest, disappearing into your dress. He so wanted to let his hands disappear right along with them, to pull you back into his aching cock and play with your nipples until you cried out for mercy. 

He let his touch fall and played off his molestation as correction, even as your underwear grew slick with desire. 

“Grab your vest. Let's try again.” 

A week of late night training later, and you weren't sure if you were improving at all. The guns were the last thing on your mind when Spencer's hands were on you, his voice in your ear telling you how good you were for him, such a good subordinate. 

Both of you had yet to acknowledge that you were spending the majority of the session just rubbing up on each other, like teens at prom, desperate for whatever friction you could get without having to name the game you were playing. 

“Doctor Reid, if I hit the target this time, can you do something for me?” You chanced on the Friday, needing something else to tide you over for the weekend. 

“What do you need?” 

“No, no, nothing specific, just like a…a reward?"

He'd done his best to keep his hands off of you, which meant that he'd failed miserably, and he knew exactly what he'd like to treat you to as a reward. Keeping his hands of you in daytime hours had become harder and harder as the week flew by, and he felt like a randy school boy the amount of times he'd needed to excuse himself to either kill his bones or abuse his cock with his hand.

“Oh,” he said, growing quiet. You took his hesitation for rejection, and immediately began to back pedal. 

“Y-You don't have to, sir. It was really quite conceited on my part to demand a reward from y-” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“If you shoot six bullets that hit either the chest or the head, you'll get a reward.”

You smiled brightly at him, suddenly feeling very hopeful. 

“But if you miss, you'll get the opposite.” 

The words were out of his mouth before he could even think about what they meant. Just hearing the words made him want to visibly cringe and write himself up for office misconduct. But your smile didn't fade one bit. 

“Yes, sir. I won't let you down.” 

Turning away from him, you loaded your weapon again, and he watched you put yourself into the correct position. Despite his middling efforts to actually teach you, you had seemed to have improved over the last few days. 

He wasn't sure if he wanted that outcome. 

Just as you stepped up to take your first shot, he stepped closer to you, wrapped his hands around your waist, and pushed up against you. 

Your first shot veered left, completely missing the target as you gasped. Spencer had popped open the front button of your pants and was unzipping them, letting his hand wonder down to your panties. 

“Look straight. There will be distractions out in the field, you can do this, right?” 

“Y-Yes, sir.” 

“Good girl.” 

You tried to steady your breathing g and your hands again as he began rubbing slow circles into your underwear, your body alight with lust as you let him. 

Your second shot hit the paper. Your third didn't. 

“You can do better than that, Y/N.” 

You took another deep breath and picked up your gun again, shooting just as he shoved your underwear to one side and dipped his fingers into you. 

Your mouth opened in a silent moan as you quickly shot your last three bullets, not caring where they went so much as where his fingers went. 

“Y/N, I expected better,” you could hear the smile in his voice as he took the gun from your hands with his spare. “You can't even handle a weapon like this.” 

He kept his fingers pumping shallowly inside you, as he inspected the gun again. 

“Maybe you'd learn better under duress. I did, too. It's easy to learn when there's a gun pointed yo your head, right?” 

He quickly turned the gun on you  pushing it to your temple as his other hand shoved your pants down. He angled you forward with a press of his hips as his fingers returned to your cunt and slipped deeper inside. 

“S-Spencer, fuck-” 

“You missed all six bullets, so punishment it is.” His fingers gained speed as you stood, flushed and spreading your legs for him. You wanted to bury your head in your arms and scream out your moans, but the gun to your head kept you quiet and in place. 

“You may not be able to shoot a gun, Y/N, but that doesn't mean you're not enjoying them. You're so wet for me.” 

Tears sprung to your eyes as you felt your climax build and build, chasing the high you'd been searching for with every unprotected touch. 

You were letting your boss touch you, letting a man almost old enough to be your father hold a gun to your head, and you were going to squirt all over his fingers very soon. 

“Spencer, Spencer, please- please….”

“Shhh, it’s okay. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You just needed some more help learning. You can cum now, princess. It's okay, let go.” 

You tried your best to hold back, but your body had a mind of its own as your orgasm hit you, the cold metal of the gun finally moving away from your head. 

With one hand around your waist, pinning you to the side so you stayed upright, Spencer carefully placed the gun back down before dragging your pants back up your legs. 

Taking your elbow in his hand, he walked you to the door as you blinked out the daze in your eyes. 

“We're going to my office now. To talk about your recent performance.” 

You couldn't have cared less what he'd said as long as his hands were on you, stretching your head back so it rested on his chest and pushing up until your lips could connect with the bare skin at his neck. 

“Hands off. We're going to walk all the way back to my office, and you're not going to let anyone know what just happened, okay? Not with your words, or your expressions or body language, okay?” 

You nodded, but he kept a hand on your elbow, gesturing yourself forward. 

You weren't sure how you were even able to walk after what had to have been the most intense orgasm of your life, but the promise of more likely carried you all the way up the stairs until you were comfortably enclosed in Spencer's  office. 

Like he'd found himself doing multiple times a day this month, Spencer closed the blinds, pulling you down to the sofa with him as he sat. 

“When I was your age,” he started, making sure your ass was facing up as he pushed your head into the cushions gently. 

“When I was your age, I couldn't shoot well. My Unit Chief had to kick some sense into me. I think you need that as well, right, Y/N? You need someone to beat some sense into you?” 

You nodded as he stroked your hair, and he thanked you for being so open to him. 

He made quick work of your pants and underwear, and in a quick hot burst, his hand came down on your ass. 

“Fuck, more. Please more!” 

He did it again and again as you squirmed in his lap and moaned, begging him to keep brutalizing you. 

“That's it, show me how pathetic you are, show me how much you're craving my attention.” 

He pushed your legs off of his lap until you were kneeling on the floor underneath him. He pulled up your arms and pulled your shirt over your head, similarly discarding your tank top and bra until you were totally bare on the floor in front of him. 

Instead of stripping himself yet, he pulled out his phone, palming himself through his pants. 

“Show yourself off,” he said, pointing the camera at you. 

You followed his directions quickly, hands flying to your tits to fondle them while he took pictures of your fucked our face. 

With his foot he gently nudged you down onto all yours, letting you know to turn around so he could flash a picture or two of your sloppy cunt as well. 

Your hips rocked back and forth in the air, unconsciously searching for something to rub against, some relief from your frustrations. 

He kept snapping pictures. 

Deciding that you needed his attention and stat, you let your chest fall to the floor, face flat too as your hips lifted higher in the air. Your hands found your ass cheeks, and you spread them slightly, giving Spencer an even better view of how much you needed him. 

He took one last photo, and then he knelt behind you faster than you could expect. 

In a heartbeat, his pants were down, in two his cock was buried deep inside of you. 

“So…tight, shit. You're such a precious little slut, you kept this little pussy nice and fresh just for me, right?” 

It was all you could do not to cum right there, and when he started moving you were a goner. It had always been easier for you to cum a second time than it was for you to cum a first time, and considering how quick he'd made it happen earlier, you really should've been expecting it. 

Your body convulsed around his cock as you screamed into the floor, hands still spreading yourself wide for him as he rutted into you. 

“That's it, milk my cock, Y/N. Milk your bosses cock, let me blow my load inside you.” 

Your nipples rubbed painfully against the carpet, only adding to the storm of stimulation you were experiencing. 

His hips faltered as he collapsed over your body, holding tight as his muscles locked him into place with his orgasm. He came inside you with a grunt, and he felt your cunt still clenching around him, making sure to take every last drop. 

“That- was much - preferable,” you said, gasping for breath. “To shooting - any gun.” 

He rolled off of you as you laughed, body satiated now for the first time in what felt like forever. 

“You still need to work on your gun skills,” he said after you'd detangled yourself, but before either if you had worked up the courage to leave the floor and get dressed. 

“Why?” You said, turning your head to look at him  lying on the floor next to you. 

“It seems I can fire pretty accurately already,” you said, as your hand snaked down to his cock one more time. 

[radioapplerevue]

Radioapple Fic Recs

Finally got around to organizing a rec list. Going to pin this, since I see people ask for recs a lot. I expect I'll be updating this periodically, too, as I've only just started adding things to it.

These are my personal favorites. For context, I'm an almost 40 year old aroace person whose favorite fics tend to be those who take you apart and then put you back together, haha. Putting them under a read more because I expect this to get long.

The Ruination of Lucifer by @syaunei. (Explicit)

Remember what I said about taking apart and being put back together? Nothing has come close to toppling this fic for me when it comes to emotional catharsis. One of the things I love most about it is how directly it deals with Lucifer's severe depression and the consequences of it, as well as the many, many centuries of him having to deal with just being Who He Is, Where He Is. He's terribly wounded and suffering, but he's also indisputably the King of Hell, with all the power and all the knowledge and all the experience that comes with it.

This fic also stands out for being from Alastor's POV, which I love, because as much as this fic is called The Ruination of Lucifer, the subtitle could be "How Alastor Fucked Around and Found Out". Both of them are getting broken down here, and both of them are -- hopefully -- learning how to grow and move forward. It also takes into account Alastor's asexuality and his unconventional approach towards sex, and what it can (or can't) do for him.

Mind the warnings, though, because shit does get heavy in here for a while. And enjoy the gorgeous illustrations by @betti2024.

2. Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship by @keelywolfe (ratings vary by part)

This series has me in a chokehold. It's considerably softer than many Radioapple fics, but it really draws you in and makes you so invested in these two idiots and how much they care about each other but also how bad they are at understanding how much they care about each other. It's Lucifer's POV, which causes Suffering not only because he's an incredibly unreliable narrator, but because there's Something Going On with Alastor that we know nothing about except that it's Bad. And we (and Lucifer) are dyiiiing to know what it is, haha.

There is a lot of sex in this series, but there's something about it that's very compelling to me, especially from Alastor's side. The way he is written in these encounters is just so... tender. It's obvious that (most of the time) he's not getting anything really in terms of sexual gratification, but he's getting a great deal in terms of gratification of a different sort, and the fact that it's so clear that he derives as much -- or perhaps more -- pleasure from that as Lucifer does from the sex itself is so delicious.

But my favorite aspect of the whole thing is that no matter what conflicts are going on -- whether outside of themselves, or of their own making -- Lucifer has become Alastor's safe harbor. And that kills me.

3. Bedtime Rituals to Try Out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis (teen and up)

Did I mention I like soft? Because I do. And there's something so lovely about the slow, careful way their relationship progresses here, especially on Alastor's side. My issue with this fic is that it ended, haha! I was so looking forward to seeing where it went, because I got addicted to the particular tender rapport that the two of them built. But being left wanting more is hardly a knock on the fic itself, and it's absolutely a treat to get to read.

4. devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss (mature)

I think it's becoming apparent that I really enjoy fics that begin with the two of them butting heads, and sometimes stumbling into a huge blunder, only for them to slowly grow together into something much softer than either of them likely intended. This is one such fic. It also involves some fun stuff with the rest of the cast, and a masquerade. Gotta love that.

5. All changed, changed utterly by @tollingreminiscentbells (explicit)

This series is very different from the rest. It's a canon AU where Lucifer and Alastor first met when Alastor was still alive, and then proceeds to go into canon events from there, with Lucifer being the one holding Alastor's leash. There's a lot to chew on, and the author has chosen to go a very different route regarding biblical mythology than the show does. Definitely something I recommend if you want a deep dive into a really meaty series, that delves into both the dynamics of Heaven vs. Hell as well as the worth of free will, as embodied by Alastor (for better or worse).

It also includes one of my new favorite recurring things, which is Alastor's 'delusional not-sex'. (It's sex.)

6. Of Saints and Sinners by @morningstarwrites (teen and up)

This fic is probably the most lighthearted of the radioapple fics I read, haha. It's a fun romp and has definitely made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion. So if you're looking for something that preserves that antagonism-to-grudging-friendship-to-oh-no-we've-caught-feelings kind of story, but with more comedy and less angst, this is the fic for you! (I mean, I have no idea if angst is going to happen in the future, but so far.)

7. hit me where it hurts (the bruising will be worth it) by RestlessWanderings (mature)

This one can only be called radioapple if you squint, but I'm including it because a) it's by far my favorite take on the hotel battle scene, b) I love when Lucifer gets fucked up and people get scared for him and c) it's technically part of a radioapple series. I don't know if that series is still going to happen, but I do enjoy this plenty on its own!

Hold here for more! There are a bunch of fics I’m following but am unsure if they’ll ever be finished — which is fine, writers don’t owe us anything! But it will definitely determine how high up they are on my favorites, haha. And of course people are posting new ones all the time.

[wellionlybroughtthree]

spilling amaretto 'cause of previous joints - matty healy

[ok so danny writer debut, huh. literally no one asked for it but here we are. huge shoutout to @abouttofillhisshoes for dealing with my countless mental breakdowns and constant useless apologizing, also all credit for the title goes to them as this is actually called "if you like pina colada dadadada getting caught in the rain" in my head, so thank you again <3]

wc: ~5k

cw: poor use of the english language (i tried), unnecessary ramblings about cocktails, there's like a tiny bit of storytelling if you squint but it all just leads to; smut, they shared one drink but they aren't like drunk and it's all consensual ofc, excessive use of the word 'darling', knife play! but for like 15 seconds nothing too crazy, brief mentions of blood, bj, like mild face-fucking??, subby matty but then again not really as i couldn't decide on what i wanted to write, it's all over the place tbh, he begs her to fuck him tho, oh and they do anal (hides in corner) like he sticks a finger up her ass sorry, reader apologises a lot, and that's kinda it i think

here goes nothing

Red neon lights hanging from the ceiling, hardly illuminating the space. The floor is sticky from the drinks people must have spilled during the previous night. Nervous, but excited you make your way to the far back, towards the bar. Checking your phone, you realise you’re 20 minutes early. Probably explains why you can’t find Matty anywhere. Or anyone else for that matter. It’s quiet, almost too quiet and you just stand there, fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt, not knowing what to do.

The squeak of the bathroom door opening makes you still and your eyes focus on the figure coming towards you. Matty.

His steps radiate confidence, his sharp hand features illuminated by the neon red lights as he reaches you. His broad shoulders are covered by a leather jacket. You gulp. He’s even prettier than you remembered.

Probably because you were fucking hammered last time, idiot.

This is going to be hard, but you try to keep it professional and reach your hand out for him to shake. Matty just laughs and pulls you in for a hug instead. “None of that nonsense, darling. We are all just normal people here, no need for formalities. How’s your day been so far?”

The nerves in your stomach swirl as you see his intoxicating smile break out across his face. That has got to be the most captivating man you’ve ever seen. Scared of him being able to read your thoughts, you look to the ground. 

“It was great, thank you. Sorry for being so early though, traffic is a nightmare at this hour so I-” 

Matty cuts you off with a chuckle. “Punctuality is one of the key features I look for in my employees, you’re fine darling. Don’t stress.” You follow him towards the bar and behind the counter.

“I know this lighting is all cool looking and shit but you might need to shield your eyes for a second.” You stare at him with a questioning look but squint your eyes two seconds later as bright, white lighting fills the space. “House lights, magic. Can’t teach you anything if we can’t see, isn't that right?”

You nod as your eyes adjust to the new brightness. Your eyes immediately fall to the endless amount of liquor bottles under the counter. How are you going to remember all the different kinds and when they’re used? Seems impossible at first sight.

Matty catches your worried expression. “You are going to be fine, I’ll go slow and try to explain everything as simply as possible. Go sit on the counter, I’ll go over the theoretical stuff first, and then we’ll get to mixing and I’ll see if you’re any good, yeah?” He smirks as he gestures to the counter. You hop on, immediately cursing yourself for wearing a skirt. The marble counter feels cold under your thighs and you shiver, crossing your legs.

An hour goes by, as Matty shows you all the different kinds of glasses, telling you when to use each one. Then going over the ridiculous amount of liquor bottles. You have never seen this many different kinds of tequila in your life.

“So if someone just asks for a shot of vodka, for example. Unless they specify which brand they want, you just give them this.” He points to the liquor bottle on the far left. “That’s the house vodka, the cheapest one.” You nod, hoping he doesn’t catch the way you’ve been staring at his lips the entire time. God, he’s making it so hard to concentrate.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to remember everything right away. You won’t be standing here alone for your first couple of shifts anyways. Before we get to the fun part which is making cocktails and possibly getting drunk, I’m going to teach you how to pour.” Matty turns around, gets a bottle of water and replaces the cap with a weird looking one you’ve seen before but don’t know the name of. Then, he reaches behind himself and grabs a small cup that’s kind of shaped like a cone. You fiddle with your hands, not sure what he was expecting you to do, scared of messing it up. Matty notices your nervousness and puts the bottle down.

“You’re alright darling, please stop worrying too much. You’ve done a great job listening to me so far. I'm sure you’ll do great. And even if you mess up the first time, which is likely to happen considering you’ve never done this before, we have at least another 5 hours before opening, so plenty of time to mess up and try again, alright?” He gives you a comforting smile. You sigh in relief. “I just really want this job, you know? I just want to be good for you.”

Matty gives you a look you can’t quite decipher. “Oh I’m sure you’ll be perfect for me, darling.” You visibly swallow, hopping off the counter.

Matty reaches for the water bottle again and begins explaining.

“This is a jigger.” He points to the cone shaped cup. “It is used for measuring ounces of liquor. But using a jigger takes too much time and I’d rather teach you how to count your pours so you don’t have to use that thing alright?” You nod and watch intently as Matty gets another cup from behind him. He counts to four and pours the water into the cup, then sets it on the counter beside him. “Every bartender has a different count system, I suppose. But the easiest way is counting to four for one ounce, so you can count to one for a quarter of an ounce and so on.” He gets the cup and pours the water into the jigger. It hits the one ounce mark perfectly. “See? And now you do it.”

He takes a step towards you and hands you the water bottle. It’s the first time that day you properly take in his intoxicating smell. Which is mostly cigarettes to be fair, but also something uniquely Matty. Your head spins as you take the water bottle from his hands, brushing his calloused fingertips slightly.

You stand up straighter, wanting to appear more confident than you are. Closing your eyes to avoid Matty’s piercing stare, you start pouring into the cup.

1, 2, 3, 4…

“Can I just do it again? I think I overpoured I’m sorry I’ll try again-” You go on to spill the water into the sink but Matty catches your wrist quickly. Your breathing hitches and you hope he doesn’t notice so you quickly look to the ground. “For fucks sake. Stop being so-" He doesn’t finish his sentence, instead releasing your wrist from his grip, throwing his head back and running his hands through his curly hair.

Great, now he’s annoyed.

“Look, the pour looked near perfect actually. Stop doubting yourself too much, okay?” He grabs the jigger and pours the water in it. One ounce. You hit the mark perfectly. Holy shit.

You try to suppress your proud grin, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“None of that, darling. Look you smashed that, okay? Be proud of yourself.” Matty smiles and rubs your arm. “I honestly thought we would be here for half an hour at least, you should’ve seen some of my other employees on their first day. No one could get it right the first try. I guess you’re just a natural.”

Not knowing how to deal with the compliment you wave your hand awkwardly. “Oh, I’m sure it was just good luck.” Matty sighs dramatically and shoves you backwards. Stumbling backwards, your back hits the counter. You giggle and cross your arms. “Hey, what was that for? Way to treat your future employees.” Matty rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Shut up.”

Mixing cocktails is really fun, you realise. You are also having a way less hard time remembering all the different kinds of liquors than you thought. You really hope Matty thinks you’re good enough. Because you want to get the job, of course. No other reason. Not because the way he’s staring at you is making your head spin. Not because his praise is making your stomach turn. Not because staring at his hands is making you think about how they would feel on your skin. Not because staring at his lips is making you think about how they would feel against your own. You want to be good for him. Because you want to get the job.

You snap out of your thoughts as Matty asks you a question. “Do you want to take a sip of the martini? You did a good job, tastes perfect.” He takes another large sip and hands you the glass. You look at him unsure. “Are you sure? We aren’t done yet, are we?” Despite knowing this is probably not a good idea, you take the glass from his hands. Maybe this will help you loosen up and be less self conscious. Or maybe it’ll make your brain go mush and act stupid. Taken the fact that you've never had a martini before, you don’t actually know how strong it is. Tilting your head, you gulp the rest of the drink back in one hit, cringing at the fire that coats your throat from it.

Fuck, that’s strong.

You cough slightly, as you feel the warmth spreading across your body. From the alcohol, but also from Matty watching you intently. He must be thinking you’ve never had a drink in your life. This is embarrassing.

You squeeze your eyes closed, waiting for the burning in your throat to die down.

“You alright, darling?” Matty asks with a concerned expression on his face. Your face grows red in embarrassment. “Yeah, it’s fine I think. I’ve just never had something with gin before. That was stronger than I expected, sorry. ‘S all good though. I think I can continue without tripping over my feet and embarrassing myself in front of you.” You try and joke, hoping Matty will let it go and just continue talking cocktails to you.

“Alright then, let’s just continue with-” Matty’s eyes search for a specific bottle and finally reaches for a Bacardi Carta Blanca. “This one. We haven’t done white rum yet.”

“Mojito is done with white rum, isn’t it?” Mojito is your best friend’s favourite, you hope you didn’t get it confused and say something incredibly stupid but Matty’s eyes light up. Thank God. “That’s right, darling. Mojito consists of white rum, soda, mint leaves, a lime, and brown sugar. Most people use simple syrup to substitute the brown sugar because it blends into the drink more nicely, but I prefer to do it the old fashioned way. Tastes better, too.” Matty points to a big drawer behind me. “There’s our fridge, it has all the fresh ingredients, like fruits and all that. If you could just get me a lime, please?”

You nod and turn around. You silently thank the alcohol for your new found confidence, as you bend over, purposefully hiking your skirt up a little in the process. You hope he notices, judging by his coughing while you take longer than needed to search for a lime, he definitely did notice. Grabbing the lime, you turn around and shoot him an innocent smile. “This one good enough?”

Matty’s eyes narrow as you place the lime on the counter. He coughs again and then nods. “Yeah, that one will do. Let me get you a knife, hold on.” He rummages in one of the drawers and goes to stand next to you, handing you a small knife. “Cut it up into six equal parts and then put them in a glass with the mint leaves and brown sugar, go on.” He instructs. You cut the lime in half, letting out a sharp breath. You aren’t really able to concentrate with him standing so close to you. His smell occupies your nostrils and his- “Woah there, easy with the knife, darling.” Matty chuckles as you almost cut yourself, too lost in your thoughts.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” You giggle. Matty doesn’t respond right away so you turn around. The look on his face is one you can’t quite read. It’s calm, but there’s something else and it’s making your stomach turn. He raises his left eyebrow.

“Scare me?” He echoes, picking up the knife and bringing it between us. You grow nervous, not being able to grasp what’s going on. Is he mad? “Uhm, look I didn’t mean it like that, I don’t know why I said that I’m sorry, let’s just get back to-” Matty cutts you off as he reaches for your hand and places the knife into it. You know you should be scared shitless at this point, but you’re beyond excited, if anything.

“You think you can scare me? Go on, then.” Matty gives you a challenging look. You don’t respond straight away, not knowing what to do. Running away seems like the best option at this point, but you don’t trust your body at this state. Your legs feel like jelly, so realistically you’d just fall over and embarrass yourself even more. Your heart rate accelerates as Matty puts his hand on top of yours, bringing the knife up to his throat, moving the blade to press right under his jaw.

“Do I look scared yet, darling?” You gulp, now feeling like you’re definitely going to pass out any second. Holy fuck. The words are stuck in your throat, not being able to process what you’re seeing, let alone the feelings it’s eliciting in you. To think about the fact that an hour ago you couldn’t even look this man in the eyes and now you’re holding a knife to his throat and enjoying it? Talk about character development. Matty moves his face closer to yours, applying more pressure to the blade. It sends your body into a nervous shock, silently thankful he has a hold of your hand because you wouldn’t trust yourself to do something like that sober, let alone when you’ve had a drink.

“And now, do I look scared yet?” You shake your head, staring at the blade against his neck and then his eyes. “No, just a little mentally unstable and like you’re lowkey enjoying it, if I’m honest.” 

Matty lets out a small laugh. “Because I am.” He keeps the hold around your hand and starts to trace the knife down his throat, between his collar bones. “Are you?”

Are you enjoying it? You know you shouldn’t, that’s for sure. You want this job after all, and if you keep going any further, that’s going to be off the table 100%. But you can’t deny the warm rush this entire situation sends through your body. You feel like your legs are going to give out. In the best way possible. Is it the alcohol? Who knew you would enjoy holding a knife to someone’s throat. Might as well buy a straight jacket at this point.

Matty’s eyes stay trained on yours as he waits for an answer. You look down in slight embarrassment and exhale a small “yes.”

Matty’s body flinches as he sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth and cusses a “shit” under his breath. Your eyes shoot up to his neck, seeing he’s accidentally pressed the blade down too hard and cut himself. You immediately pull the knife back, panicking. “Holy shit…Matty you alright? See, I knew this wasn’t going to be a good idea. All I wanted was this job and now I’ve cut my potential future boss in the neck, holy shit. I am so sorry, I should be leaving, see? This is why you don’t drink and play with sharp objects.”

Matty looks at you with a smirk. “Please stop panicking, darling. I’m totally fine.” You look at him confused, you have just injured your potential future boss, how can he be so calm? You were expecting him to yell at you, at least. Your body freezes as he brings your hand holding the knife back to his face, moving it up to his mouth. Slipping his tongue out to slowly lick up the flat side of the now bloodied blade, he gives you a challenging look. “See? I’m just fine, darling.”

There is a devious spark in his eyes, and it makes you clench your thighs together involuntarily. You’re glad he’s fine because you sure as hell aren’t after seeing that.

You don’t trust your voice so you just stare at him, not saying anything. He takes the knife from your grip and places it on the counter behind you.

Something about the energy in the air between you feels deranged and unhinged, but in an exciting way.

Matty takes your hand, asking you if you’re okay. “We can just, you know, forget that shit happened, I get that that’s not what you signed up for, darling. Just, get back to making cocktails, alright?” You’re not sure what comes over you but you feel like a switch in your brain flips and you dip your fingers into the top of his jeans to tug him in towards you by his belt, holding the back of his neck and crashing your mouth against his.

Matty, though a bit taken aback by your sudden action, matches the heated kiss immediately. He shrugs off his leather jacket, revealing a plain white t-shirt underneath. Pinning you against the counter with his hips, his centre is rocking against you and you realise how hard he is. Holy shit.

A deep moan travels up Matty’s throat as you drag your nails down his back which makes him thrust harder. This feels so familiar, yet so foreign, like you’re embracing a sinful part of yourself you haven’t discovered up until now. Matty tears away from the kiss, searching your eyes for permission. Too far gone, you’d let him do anything to you at this point so you nod, giving him a small smile. Matty tugs you forward and spins you around so your body is bent across the counter. You suck in a sharp breath, the sudden movement and the cold marble counter against your body making your head spin.

Matty’s fingers are rough with hoisting up your skirt to your waist. “This what you wanted isn’t that right, darling? Wearing that skimpy skirt and purposefully bending over so I could almost see your underwear? Staring at my fingers the entire time when all I wanted was to explain cocktails to you. Filthy girl, playing all innocent. You wanted to be good for me? Now’s the time, darling.”

You clench your thighs involuntarily at his words. Matty pulls down your black lace underwear, tossing it somewhere behind him. Your body jolts when his hand cracks down hard against the skin of your behind. Barely giving you any time to react, he laces his fingers into your hair, pulling your head back. You moan quietly at the sharp pain on your scalp.

“Get on your knees for me, come on. Let me ruin that pretty lipstick.”

Excitement fires through your nerves, and you oblige, slowly turning around and lowering yourself down, the cold tiles hard against your knees. Once you’re settled somewhat comfortably on the ground you stare up at him with innocent eyes, waiting for his instructions. Matty goes to unbuckle his belt, his biceps flexing in the process. Your eyes can’t decide where they want to look, flicking between his face and watching his hand tug his boxers down enough to release himself, wrapping his fingers around his solid length with a sigh. He teases his tip against your lower lip.

“Open up, darling.” Considering your previous makeout session and the way half of your lipstick is already smeared on his mouth, you’re sure it’s already ruined. You part your lips, letting your tongue slip out to tease him, tasting the precome and Matty nudges his hips forward to push into your mouth. As soon as your lips envelop him his brows furrow and he tilts his head back. “Fuck, that’s right darling. You’re doing so well for me.” Squirming at the praise, you’re eager to take more of him.

He starts to slowly pull his hips back, pushing forward again and then steadily thrusting as you suction your mouth around him. Taking in the sight above you, the way his muscles tense under his tattoo covered skin with his heavy breaths, the way his face is screwed up in pleasure and his hair falling into his face when his head drops forward. His fingers tighten in the back of your hair as he picks up his rhythm.

“Pinch me if it gets too much, okay?” He grunts, pushing his fingers through his damp hair, to get it away from his forehead. You nod as best as you can, pushing forward to let him brush against the back of your throat as saliva coats his skin and drips down your chin.

He picks up a fast, more forceful pace as you try and concentrate on relaxing your throat and breathing through your nose. Feeling him push further back with each thrust until he pushes all the way forward so your nose brushes against the hair of his groin.

It makes you gag around him, and Matty snaps a loud “fucking hell, darling.” before smacking his hand against the counter behind you to hold himself up. Your throat tightens around him and he whines at the feeling, snapping his hips back as he pulls from your mouth, leaving a trail of saliva dripping down your chin. His wrist wraps tightly around his base as he twitches in his hand and his eyes clamp shut as he chants a quiet “fuck, fuck, fuck” under his breath.

You can feel the intense need exploding from him, all of his movements are manic and rushed. Matty pulls you up to stand, kissing you harder and more frantically than before, only stopping to sit down on a barstool, pulling you on top of him. He stares up at you, and lets his hand slip between you to drag his fingers through your dripping core. You squirm against his fingers, feeling that throbbing pulse between your legs along with a tight pressure in your lower half.

“Shit, I nearly came in your mouth just then. Could barely stop it.” Matty says out of breath. “But I don’t want that. Not when you’re so fucking wet, I want it wrapped around me. Want you to fuck me, feel you when you come.” He is rambling, sounding out of his mind, pulling you closer so your centre is pressed against his and he grinds you against him.

A strained whimper tumbles out of him and his demeanour completely flipped as he basically begs. “Please, darling. Fuck me, ride me- anything. I wanna feel you around me so fucking bad.” You take a second to adjust to his mood swing, but then you cup his jaw with your hands. “You want me to fuck you?” Matty nods quickly and thrusts his hips up against you. You lift yourself up and wrap your hand around him to line him up with your entrance, only sinking down onto his tip and then pause.

Matty shifts under you, whining a pathetic sound as you watch his flushed face intently, raising an eyebrow at him. “Please,” he pants, sounding borderline in pain at this point. “Fuck me, I need you so bad, darling fucking hell, please-” You interrupt his pleads by pushing yourself down, feeling him stretch and fill you as Matty curses a loud “holy shit”, throwing his head back while you moan at the feeling.

The second you’re sunk onto him completely his hand finds your behind, urging you to move. Both of your skin is slick and wet, feeling like you’re running a fever as the air is burning hot and you continue to move your hips. “Shit, you’re so fucking wet, look at you already making a mess.” he grits, looking down in disbelief between us as his chest heaves, “you feel so fucking good around me, all I could fucking think about since the moment I’ve seen you, shit.”

He isn’t lying, you can feel the dampness on the inside of your thighs, feeling how easily he slips inside you and it’s only amplifying how amazing it feels. You continue fucking him, letting your hips slam down against him and listen to the symphony of pornographic sounds leaving him, which is only riling you up more. You swear you could come just from listening to him in pleasure.

“Can I try something, darling?” He pants, both looking and sounding delirious. You let your hips circle against him, feeling him hit spots that have your back arching. “What?”

“Can I fuck you with my finger here?” He asks, giving your behind a firm squeeze. “Just one finger. I’ll be gentle. Can I do that while you ride my cock?” It doesn’t register right away what he’s asking, but then you realise and pause. “There?”

Matty captures your mouth in a kiss, then teases his tongue over your lower lip. “If you don't want to, we won't. And if you don’t like it, I’ll stop. It helps if you’re very turned on, trying it. If you like it, I promise, I’ll have your whole body shaking.” You think over the idea in your head, expecting to be grossed out or intimidated. You have known this man for 3 hours max, after all. But it’s only intriguing you.

“Okay, I wanna try.” You agree, still rocking against him, finding it hard to sit still with this unbearable pleasure in your lower stomach. Matty raises his eyebrows like he didn’t expect your answer to be so quick or casual, but then his lips form a slow smile and then presses another kiss to your lips. “That’s my filthy girl.”

He moves his hand up and your heartbeat accelerates when you watch him spit on his pointer and middle finger. He watches for your reaction as he moves his hand around and you feel his finger slip between your cheeks to your tightest entrance, spreading around his saliva that mixes with the arousal that had dripped back there from your centre. “Because you’ve gone and made such a fucking mess everywhere, that helps too.” He adds, keeping his eyes on yours and you gasp as you feel him press his ring and middle finger against your hole.

“Keep moving, darling. Come on, keep fucking me, focus on that. Can you feel how fucking rock hard I am, all because of you?” He asks, circling his finger against you but not going any further. You nod, trying to follow what he says and focus on that as you rock against him.

His other hand holds your hip, starting to guide your movements and even though it’s obvious he’s struggling to compose himself and dying to finish, he doesn’t rush.

You feel him inch his finger forward, only pushing his fingertip into your rear entrance and aside from feeling a bit strange and tight, it’s not uncomfortable. He doesn’t go further, but continues to guide your hips to start pulling yourself up and sink back down onto him, coaxing me. “Keep going, go on. I can’t fucking wait to feel you come around me.”

As your body moves, and you keep that pace, gradually his finger starts to inch in bit by bit in movement with your own body, not forcing it in at all and you let out a surprised moan when you adjust to it. His finger is sunk into the second knuckle, applying pressure to spots you didn’t even know existed. Matty’s mouth is grazing against yours, whimpering when he feels your tightness around him as you move. “How are you feeling, baby? Does that feel good, yeah?” He grunts, starting to thrust his hips up to match your movements. “You wanna keep going?”

“It’s-” You gasp and another moan rips out of you as he massages his finger inside of you, and you start to bounce faster, holding on tight to his shoulders. “It’s like- Fuck it feels really good.” You can hear the surprise in your voice and Matty smiles to himself. He removes one of your hands from his shoulders to press your fingers against your clit. His mouth goes to rest near your ear, with his voice strained “You’re being so good for me darling, look at you taking my cock and my finger. Now touch yourself, come all over me. Please, darling.”

You start to circle your fingers against your clit, feeling your body shudder from how sensitive you are. Matty helps pick up your rhythm with his hold on your ass, guiding you up and down as his finger continues to fuck into you and he thrusts his hips up faster. This almost feels too overwhelming, like your body can’t handle all these sensations at once and you fall forward, burying your face against his neck. 

You cry out as Matty snaps his hips up harder each time you sink down onto him, and when his finger inside of you hits that certain place, at the same time he thrusts into you, you move your fingers faster against your nerves and you feel that knot in your lower half explode. “Matty, I- what the- oh my fucking god, sorry” You nearly shriek, unable to control the volume of your voice and your whole body starts to tremble as you are sucker punched with bliss through every nerve. As soon as Matty feels your pulse around him, he slams you down against him with a loud whine. “Fuck- I’m fuck, fuck” Both of your bodies writhe against each other, hot and covered in sweat and Matty threads his fingers into your hair to pull your head up and connect your mouths. 

The kiss is almost pointless, both of your mouths hanging open and moaning helplessly as you ride out the tsunami type orgasms that are wrecking the both of you, Matty’s legs shake as he grunts with each release as he spills into you.

You end up slumped against him, barely able to breathe and Matty wraps his arm around your back, keeping you hugged against him. You’re honestly shocked you didn’t instantly pass out and fall asleep. Matty slips his finger from you and nudges his nose against your cheek. “You alive, darling?”

“Barely.” You mumble, feeling like you don’t even know what fucking year it is.

You feel Matty smile when his cheek rests against yours and he laughs under his breath.

“You’re hired, by the way.”

[leviackermansjewishwife]

Headcannon: Levi dealing with your self harm and eating disorders (massive trigger warning)

‼️Massive massive trigger warning, please if you can not handle these topics do not engage with this post! ‼️

I have been clean from sh for five years now, and clean from disordered eating and eating disorders for about three years now, and I remember when I was really struggling with these issues I would constantly read Levi headcannons and fics, and it would make me feel better, so now I want to write these, to see if it would make anyone else feel better! Though be aware I’m still getting used to writing headcannons so if they aren’t the best be aware. I am basing this off my own experiences, so if you don’t like how I characterize things, move on.

Self harm - cutting mostly implied

- If he catches you doing it, he slowly takes the weapon out of your hands, and kisses gently at your cheeks, especially if you’re crying.

- If he finds the scars he just stares at you, not really knowing how to handle it

- He doesn’t push you to talk about it, but if you ever want to, he is completely ready to listen.

- If you allow him too, he loves kissing among your scars.

- He removes all sharp things from your room, and he hides all the sharp things in his room, he doesn’t want to take any chances.

- If you ever have any urges, he talks you through them, or sometimes if you want to feel pain really badly, he will take out to the courtyard and train you in a fight.

- He mostly comforts you by distracting you from urges and pain, he’s not exactly great on comforting you through words but he tries his best.

- If you ever feel bad about wearing something that can show your scars, he encourages you to, and if someone has a problem with it, he’ll handle it.

- Ultimately he is the best help you could ever have in your life during this time.

Disordered eating and eating disorders:

- When he first sees that you avoid eating purposely, he’s a little confused. Not in a mean way, but growing up with so little food he’s confused on why someone would purposely avoid eating.

- If you ever get uncomfortable eating in front of other people, he eats with you in your room, or his office, which is the preferred spot to eat in.

- He starts brewing special tea for stomach cramps, and any other complications, he has a tea for that.

- If you suffer from bulimia (which is what I suffered from), he will constantly give you stuff to repair your throat, and stomach.

- If he ever catches you vomiting back up your food, he helps you get the last of it up, he holds back your hair, and he wipes off your face. But he doesn’t let you get off incredibly easy.

- He doesn’t let you binge so that you can’t vomit back up, he doesn’t let you be alone after you eat.

- He of course let’s you go to the bathroom alone, but if he hears the sound of vomiting he will rush in.

- He never presses you to talk, but he does eventually take you into his arms, and kinda begs what made you do this. He blames himself in a way, because he feels like a bad partner by not looking out for you more.

- But he doesn’t beg for your assurance, that it’s not his fault, he’s not a dick.

- When you tell him the reasoning, what ever it is, he just holds you. If someone made you feel this bad, that you had to resort to not eating or vomiting up your food, consider them dead and cold.

- On recovery, he doesn’t let you eat alone. No matter what you suffer from, he doesn’t want you to eat alone. So you don’t calorie restrict or so you don’t binge.

- He encourages you to eat better by talking about how beautiful your extra weight is, and loves leaving kisses along any parts of your body you consider “ugly”

- To help you recover he challenges you to eat certain foods, and is always there with you when you did it.

- No matter what he sticks by your side, and always reassures you you’re beautiful. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for telling my friend his past relationship was abusive? So I (20f) have this guy friend (22m), and we're strictly platonic. He comes over to my house and we hang out and I go over to his and he's always deeply respectful of my boundaries. and I am respectful of his!!! he doesnt like being touched a lot, so we do air hugs instead of actual hugs. Recently he was talking to me about one of his exes, and we was being like. really glib about it. But she would do shit like not let him have female friends, would take his phone and block the numbers of people she didnt like, was REALLY into pda even after he told her he wasnt comfortable with it. and im listening to all this and i go hey she sounds kinda Not Great im glad youre not together anymore and he gets really defensive and starts listing all the good aspects of their relationship which is. not a lot actually. like just decent 'hey she remembered my birthday!' kind of stuff. and I doubled down which in hindsight i shouldnt have done but he got really frantic and asked me to leave (i was at his house at the time) and i did were still texting regularly but neither of us have brought it up and he hasnt asked to see me in person again. Like i Know im right on this, but hes my friend and he got mistreated and hes still defending her

Am I the bad guy for saying that to him?? I dont know what I should have done instead

[hacked-by-jake]

I'm especially sad about the AI art statement.

No one ever said they can't use AI in general. Nobody said this. As long as they don't let the chats be written by AI they can use it for whatever they want.

Me personally, I'm a little fan of AI in general. ChatGPT took Googles place in many situations for me. It's super easy, super interesting and faster. I use it instead of reading millions of Google sites. (of course I don't trust everything right away, check your sources, lovelies)

But that's not what I want to say.

I saw no one complaining about the usage of AI in general. As long as its not creating the whole game and especially not what the characters say etc.

The critism was about the usage of AI ART, not AI in general, completely missing the point in my eyes.

And yes, they're right. AI became a huge part of our lives now. We find it everywhere and we won't get rid of it again. That won't happen. For me, it's okay as long as it's not used to generate money by letting it write texts and stuff.

And I'm completely fine with them using it. Of course, it's still stealing and I won't deny that, but as I said, we won't get rid of it again.

But the usage of AI generated Art is wrong and should actually be illegal. They, as a small developer studio, they should know and they do know, how it is when your work gets stolen and used by strangers.

And that's exactly what AI does. And that's not okay. It simply isn't. Every generated art is based on hundreds of real arts our there. The smallest artist who posts their work will be a victim of that. Because AI pulls it's knowledge and the ability for art out of every little art source there is. And that's wrong.

And I'm disappointed about their statement with this point.

And the second statement about AI art...

Yes, it's wonderful that you will introduce new actors to us. Great, amazing. And yes, we do remember how it was in Duskwood. And we do remember that actors were introduced after some time. Hannah joined in the last episode, and this was great.

But the huge difference is, you used stock photos. Real photography. Real designs. Created by photographers or whoever. The point here is: Real human. And real work.

I don’t think I'm the only one. But the first second I saw the profile picture of Ash, immediately I was like "Hm, that reminds me straight up of arcane"

Which is logical when you use AI generated art because the AI of course uses at first the most popular references.

Fact is: We don't support the usage of AI Art in Moonvale.

Question is: Why didn't you use stock photos just like you did before?

Everbytes answer: Yes, okay, we can change their profile pictures. (Point done)

And I mean, come on. Violet has a freaking cat as profile picture. Where was the problem with just using a real cat for that? Nothing easier than finding a good picture of cats! 😭

And if you didn't want to use stock photos. Have you seen how many incredibly talented digital artists your fandom has? Have you seen the insanely good work they created for your game?

How about contacting a few of them? How about asking them to draw the characters you wanted to have? I'm 100% sure you wouldn't even have to pay them for. Most of them would do it for free right away.

Plus: Real art created by real people

Plus two: No money spending.

Yeeey.

And if you don’t want that...., ✨STOCK PHOTOS✨

To be honest, they took a crumb of the criticism, twisted it a bit. Used the word AI, twisted a bit more, left their statement and at the end they gave us a small little victory by saying "They get new profile picture, see we're listening to you". They gave us a little "victory" so that we hopefully will be satisfied and not mention it again.

That's it for this topic. For now

[vulpixisananimal]

(Self harm and dagger(ish) below the cut)

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

(You and Isabeau were standing outside the Defenders house, it was just you two. The others where to look around Jouvente for information on mind craft and how to undo it.)

"It's probably not." (You reply.) "But it's less suspicious if it's just you and me."

"I guess so. . ."

"Chin up, Isabeau." (You turn to him, smiling.) "I got your back, break a leg!"

(He nods, more confident.) "Right! Break a leg!"

(You two walk in, you've been here before. On cue, Ramos shows up.) "Isabeau?!?"

("Just pretend you know them, that's your script.")

". . Ramos?" (Isabeau tilts his head.) "Is that you?"

(Ramos pauses for a second, before giving a big smile back and walking over) "Isa! it's been, what, almost a year??"

("You're best friends, you helped eachother out, just play along, you got this Isabeau~")

"Yeah!! Sorry I was just surprised to uh, see you!"

(Ramos goes to put a hand on Isabeaus shoulder, as you practiced, Isabeau visibly flinches, giving Ramos a pause.)

". . . You alright, Isa?" (They ask.)

"Y-yeah just," (He rubs his shoulder.) "Uh, I'll, tell you later! Oh! Right! This is Siffrin! A really good friend of mine!"

(Isabeau gestured to you, and you gave a a half bow.) "Charmed~"

(Honestly? Isa isn't as bad an actor as you first thought. Maybe it was that nervousness? Either way, it looked like it was working. Ramos gave that half bow back.)

"Good to meet you Siffrin! Let me guess, helped save the country?"

"Of course, your trusty rougish traveler Siffrin." (You wink.)

(Ramos squints.) ". . . Are you two-"

"A-anyway!!" (Isa cuts them off.) "I-I wanted to come visit while we're in town! See how my old friend is doing!"

"Oh! Oh thank you!" (Ramos is absolutly beaming.) "Hey!! Let me show you my new room here! It's awesome!"

(Okay, things were going well so far. Ramos didn't touch Isa, and it didn't look like they were going to try. Perfect. You had predicted that if Isa sticks to the script, Ramos wouldn't try and use mind craft. I mean, Isa already knew Ramos' name, and was acting like they were good friends.)

(You keep walking, Isa and Ramos chatting as you did. You were really proud of him, honestly. He was sticking to topics that might get you good information while avoiding suspicion. You learned that Ramos was genuinly getting better with defender stuff, and they were more confident. They had started experimenting with their scissors craft more, which you didn't even know about! Ramos was scissors\rock type. Ramos didn't have family in town.)

(Stars, maybe you should have payed more attention the first time you were here.)

(Finally, after many halls and a few staircases, Ramos came to a room and let you both inside. The room was a decent size, about the size of the Head Housemaidens office. There was a desk, a bookshelf, a wardrobe, a window outside, a bed, and a mat in the center of the room. It looks like it was for training.)

"Sorry! I don't have extra chairs." (Says Ramos, offering the desk chair to you two.)

"I'll be fine on the bed!" (Isa says cheerily.)

"I'll stand." (You say.)

"Suit yourself!" (Ramos collapses onto the chair and sighs.) "It's, it's really great to see you, Isa."

"Yeah. . ." (Isa replies.)

(You tilt your head, your turn.) "Is Jouvente a rough place? Looks like you got hurt."

"Huh? Oh!" (Ramos lifts up their shoulder to look at the bandage.) "Well, no, it's real safe here, not had any issues in forever, but. . ."

"But. . ?"

"W-well, I, honestly have no idea, haha." (They laugh nervously,) "I got sliced pretty bad I guess, looks kinda like a sword? Deffinatly a pierce craft thing though, at least that's what I was told."

(Huh, Mirabelle's rapier would have done that. Hmm, then there's a way Ramos could blame HER for the near kidnapping. But still. . .) "You don't remember at all?"

"Nope!" (Ramos shakes their head.) "There was a lot of yesterday that's just a blur."

(Huh!)

(Do you believe them?)

(I'm starting to.)

"I can relate." (You say.)

(Ask about wishes.)

"Say, Ramos, have you heard of Wish Craft?"

"Huh?" (They tilt their head.) "Wish Craft?"

(You nod, Ramos starts thinking, and eventually replied,) "Wish Craft, Wish Craft. . . Oh maybe!"

(OH?)

(Interesting.)

"Yeah I think I heard about it from someone I met! Make a wish and-"

(You see them visibly wince, then shake their head before continuing.) "And. . . And. . ."

(You and Isa glance at each other. Clearly, something just happened. Isa speaks up.) "Make a wish and, what?"

(Ramos blinks, then smiles.) "Sorry, what where we just talking about?"

(What.)

(Isabeau stood up.) "Are you, alright? Rams?"

"Yeah just, just a bit dizzy." (They stand up too, using their desk to support themself.) "I just, need some air-"

(They trip getting up, and before you could stop him, Isabeau rushed forward to catch them before they hit the ground, and caught their hand.)

(There was a moment before Isa realized what he just did. He gasped, let Ramos down and backed away.) "Oh, o-ohcCrab Sif, Sif I'm s-"

"It's alright!" (You walk over to Isa and put a hand on his shoulder.) "Dizzy?"

"What are you two-" (Ramos says, getting up off the floor.)

(Isa nods, you could see him squinting, he put a hand to his head. Stars, mind craft in action. You pat his shoulder.) "You'll be alright, the plan, remember?"

"R-right." (Isabeau, still holding his head, rushed to the door and left. That was the plan B, after all. If Ramos touches you, run to the others.)

(Speaking of, Ramos was looking at you in bewilderment.) ". . . What the change!?!"

"You wished to be just as strong as Isabeau" (You grip your dagger.) "You were given a gift of Mind Craft so that everyone would believe you were as strong as him. You wanted to be everyones favorite, the best. "

(They're shocked, as to be expected.) "How do you know that!"

(You smile at them.) "You told me."

(Ramos is looking at you, backing up to their dresser.) "I-"

"Truth time, Ramos~" (You say, drawing your dagger and twirling it around.) "I'll start, I can repeat today as many times as I want~ We've actually met four times already."

"But that's. . ." (They were looking at you, and around the room, before sighing.) "No, that's perfectly possible, the King froze time after all."

"Tee hee~ the King was an amature. Your turn, do have a question for me?"

(Ramos scoffed.) "If you can repeat today as many times as you want, why should I tell the truth? I wont remember anything if time gets undone, right?"

(You keep smiling.) "Because the alternative is me coming back here every time, and each time finding out a new way to hurt you~"

(Ramos is staring at you.)

"You're trying to figure out if I'd do it, of course I would. To me, everyone here is an actor, including myself~"

(You twirl your dagger, then hold it right below your eyepatch.) "Time will just get turned back after all~"

". . . You're insane."

"Quite~" (Stars, Siffrin, please forgive me. You press the blade against your skin. It stings, you can feel the blood-)

"S-stop stop!!" (Ramos waves their hands.) "I get it! Alright! Fine! I just, fine!"

"Good~" (You put the knife down, ow ow ow. . .)

(And you call me a hypocrite.)

(. . . You keep talking.) "Now, truth time, did you try and kidnap a kid named Bonnie yesterday?"

"What?!?!" (Ramos seemes offended at the idea, scowling at you.) Of course not!!"

(Same reaction. Maybe it's not them, or they don't remember.)

"Good! Now, how about-"

"Hey! My turn!" (Ramos interupts.)

"Fine, fine, ask away."

(Ramos was glaring at you, they grunted.) "Did. . . Did Isabeau really remember me? Or was all that a carbbin' act."

(Hmmm.) "A bit of yes, a bit of no. He didn't bring you up on our grand adventure, but when I woke up this morning and told him all about you, well, he seemed so genuinly worried~"

(They look away, no response.)

"My turn~ Where did you get this Mind Craft, Rammy?"

"Don't call me that." (They're staring daggers at you.) "Ever."

(Your taken aback by that.) "Oh, sorry." (What kind of nerve did you hit?)

". . ." (They huff.) "I asked for it, and I got it, that's it."

"That's it? Aren't we having truth time Ramos~?"

"Shut the crab up!" (They bite back.) "What do you care anyway! Change, you could probably just kill me and get on with your life!"

(. . .)

"Yeah, you could, you could blame it on whoever you want I bet. So why don't you! It'd be easy! Just easy to get rid of me and move on!!"

(They rip open the door of their clausit and grab a weapon, a pair of tonfas. Looking back at you, there was murder in their eyes.)

(What in the stars did you SAY.)

"If you CAN go back in time, do it." (They were about to pounce.) "'Cause otherwise I'll make you forget your whole crabbing life."

(. . . . . . .)

(You open your mouth, you tell them to never touch your memory. Ever.)

(You rush forward with blinding speed, swiping at Ramos' neck with your dagger. They block. You recoil.)

(What are you doing?!?!!)

(You ignore Loop. Ramos counters, a one, two, three hit combo to try and get you off balance. You dodge each of them, and swipe back, catching Ramos' arm. Good.)

(GOOD?!? Are you even thinking right now! They could turn into a sadness again and we'd be stuck at square one!!!)

(So what.)

(They hold out a fist and strike a pose, as if on cue you can feel your feet get sluggish. Stars. They're smart. You're smart, too. You hold a palm, [PAPER])

(SO WHAT?!? We almost lost to that sadness! )

(You almost lost to that sadness. Besides. You wont let Ramos live long enough for that.)

(WHAT?!?)

(Ramos gets blasted into their desk, but got up quickly, wiping some blood off of their mouth and diving at you. You sidestep and-)

(NO!!!)

(They dive at you, this time you deflect the blow, leaving Ramos open. Hmm, did you loop on instinct? You saw at the last second that Ramos was about to hit you with their back foot? Strange. You swipe at them with your dagger. You connect.)

"Hrrk-" (They stumble back, gripping a wound in their chest.)

(You can't kill them! We can't kill them!)

(It's that or get our memory erased.)

(We can't-)

(Ramos glares at you, grabs something on their desk and throws it at you. You swipe it out of the air, Ramos took the chance and rushed at you and-)

(You dodge the thrown item and dance out of Ramos way, swiping at them again.)

(. . . . . . .Where is everyone?)

(Who, is everyone?)

(Your opponent is panting, and looks at you with anger in their eyes. They look so different. So wild. Who are you? Who am I. No time to think, just get ready to move again. Ramos, they gripped their wound and gritted their teeth, some healing craft rushing to the gash.)

(You ready your dagger, you breathe in, and out. Time is your plaything, you will try and try again untill you win. The question is, what role will you take?)

(You dash forwards, moving like water, like sand. You swipe at what seems to be their dominant arm.)

(Another block, and another counter attack. You try and parry this one-)

(Wont work, try again.)

(You feel the weight of time upon you back, but no, you will defy it.)

(You try and dodge this time. You rush to the side, Ramos strike going over your head as you-)

(No, try again. once more, action. You rush in. Not expecting it, Ramos overshoots you. You grip your dagger, now behind them.)

(You've won. In this moment, no matter what, you can repeat your script to this victory.)

(. . . You strike them on the back of the head with the hilt of your dagger. Today, mercy.)

(Ramos collapses to the floor. Your adversary, perhaps. The antagonist? For now, that's what they are all for now. You kneel down.)

(. . . . . . . . .)

(They're not dead.)

(You hold your head as a wave of mental exhaust rushes through you. Ok. You were back. Loop time. You terrible, terrible think! Stop taking over just at any time! You barely could remember the battle! What did you DO!?!)

(. . . Not here then? Fine! You get up, you needed to search the room, quickly.)

(Nothing around the bed, the dresser is full of clothes, of many different styles- wait you recognize that stitching. A vest that Isabeau must have made. Ok, ok what else. Drawers! You look through the drawers, nothing, random magazines, and- oh you wont check that one again. Nothing.)

(The desk. Check the desk. You look through the different cabbinets in the desk, anything- maybe something taped to the underside? No. Stars, wait. . .)

(Stuffed at the very back of the bottom drawer of the desk was a photo.)

(The back was signed. "Good luck, Azzy, and write home often.")

(You heared footsteps outside. No time- wait, one last thing. You go over to Ramos, and gently undo their bandana, taking care to not touch the skin. Sure, you had gloves, but just in case. . .)

(There it is. Damn star pendant. It glowed softly. Taking a snuff, it smelled of. . . Mint? Maybe, was it mint? No, wasn't there supposed to be a sugary smell? It was a wish after all, right?)

(. . . You have more questions for next time, but someone was banging on Ramos door.)

(You look out the window- Oh of course. You were what, three? Four stories up? If you jumped out from here, you'd likely die.)

(. . . Like that wasn't an issue, tee hee~ And if you don't die, you could check with the others.)

(. . . No time to dwell on it, you back up a few steps, take a breath, and take a running leap.)

(. . .It's like your flying!)

[unnecessary-dinosaurs]

Ok! I watched Chaos Theory! I have a lot of thoughts! There were things I liked a lot and things I wasn’t a fan of. I generally liked it but came away slightly underwhelmed. If you haven’t watched it yet please go do so!!! Support the show and the wonderful crew that put it together!!!

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

WHAT I LIKED:

-MATEO!!! I literally loved him so much. A fantastic, simple character that doesn’t overstay his welcome or detract from our main characters. Great motivations and realistic backstory. Yeah. I really liked him. Yeah.

-Yasammy! Obviously they were amazing. They got to be cute and bubbly and gay but also their argument was so real and believable. Neither one of them is completely in the wrong. They are just two flawed people who’ve been through more than they can handle on their own. They need each other but not always in the way they might think. They were such a highlight this season. Can’t wait for more of them.

-This whole show just feels like a dramatic step up in visual storytelling from CC. The sets are beautiful and intricate, the lighting and textures are fantastic, and the directing is just really great. There are some really creative shots and transitions, and overall it just feels like more confident directing and storyboarding all around. (I specifically remember episode 7 being really great visually. Super fun stuff.)

-All the dinosaur action was great. Like next level shit. The way they keep finding creative ways to use these animals for action and suspense is very impressive. The raptors are genuinely scary. The Allosaurus and Pachyrhinosaurus were personal favs.

-Unlike Dominion, they actually showed what living in a world with dinosaurs is like- how people are adjusting to this new way of life, adapting to the presence of these animals, and keeping themselves safe. Totally what I wanted to see from Dominion, and Chaos Theory did it better within a single episode.

-There was some very well crafted suspense throughout this season. The mystery does a great job of constantly keeping you pulled in. Every time a question is answered, five more are asked.

-The darker tone is definitely welcome. The characters are older and they’ve experienced a terrible loss. The weight of the new world weighs on them and the audience in a very tangible way.

-This one isn’t really constructive but like. I just love Darius so much. He’s so perfect.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE:

-Unfortunately I thought the character writing was significantly weaker than any season of CC. It was genuinely impressive how they were able to make me not care much about these versions of Ben and Kenji, my absolute favorite characters in CC. Before the characters felt like real, living people. Now, they just feel like fictional characters to me. Really good characters, yes, but still just characters. Maybe I’ll go into further detail about this in a future post. But yeah, overall it felt like the characters took a backseat this time around.

-I’m so sorry but I absolutely could not stand the new VA for Kenji. I’m sure he’s trying his best but he sounded uninterested and half-assed most of the time. Brooklynn’s new actor was… fine? Didn’t care for her either but she didn’t bug me the way Kenji did. Let’s start a GoFundMe to pay for Ryan to come back.

-Ok. Yeah. Not a fan of Darius being in love with B. Like, ok. It makes sense and it fits the plot well. But it just seems unnecessary. Darius can be devastated by her loss without it. Ehhh maybe they’ll handle it well in future seasons but. No. Not for me.

-Also didn’t like Daniel Kon’s death. I liked that they brought him back, but killing him felt undeserved. Like, he was the main antagonist for the first show, but you just kill him off in a random episode six years later? I think he deserved a little more reverence rather than reintroducing him for one episode and then quickly killing him for shock value once he’s served his purpose.

-WHY DID THEY GIVE BEN A GIRLFRIEND THAT BOY IS GAY AS HELL NOOOOO

[breedtheseed]

Adam is charlie mom, oh that would be a good angst idea

For example, maybe before heaven found out, adam had a baby. For the first couple of days, adam would spend every waking meal with charlie. Like singing her to sleep

Years later at the hotel at

Adam humming a song on the outside balcony

Charlie: Hey adam

Adam: charlie what are you doing up?

Charlie: couldn't sleep

Adam: oh okay

1 hour later they both still awake

Adam thinks I haven't done this in a while, but I remember correctly . She fell asleep in minutes: Hey Charlie, you want me to do a tick for you to go to bed

Charlie: sure

Adam started to hum and sing a bit in minutes, charlie fell asleep

Adam: still works like a charm

This AU hurts my soul and I was writing it with someone in a server so some of these parts are theirs and some are mine. Also I just copied and pasted the texts so it’s gonna have some grammar mistakes on my end. (Their Twitter)

Discord idea

(Adam is Charlie’s real mother)

So running on the idea that Lucifer and Adam used to hook up a lot at the beginning of Adam joining heaven eventually they had a hard falling out when Adam found out Lilith and Lucifer were getting married and chose Lilith over him once again.

But Adam found out he was pregnant he hid the pregnancy with eating more and hiding his body.

When he had the baby he was completely alone and if Heaven found out it was Lucifer’s who knows what they’d do, especially because the baby looked just like Lucifer.

He swallowed his pride and gave his baby girl one last kiss before leaving her at Lucifer’s castle to which Lucifer adopted Charlie immediately, especially since Lilith liked the idea of kids but not the idea of having them, part of the reason her and Adam didn’t work out.

So with this AU Adam still falls in a similar way but instead he falls because of Lilith back stabbing him and stuff

And Charlie hates Adam because Adam lead the exterminations

And Adam is just in pain because his kid hates him and he can’t even talk without her looking at him like he’s a monster

When he first saw Charlie the air caught in his throat because his baby girl was all grown up, she looked just like Lucifer. Poor Adam having to deal with the idea that Charlie grew up without him and doesn’t see him as anything more than just Adam the Man in charge of the exterminations

Wondering if Lucifer knows. He couldn't NOT know, Charlie looks EXACTLY like him, and who else would be the mother? Unless Lucifer was fucking around with others too, which only depresses Adam worse.

(Me)

Poor Adam knowing deep down no one wants him but little did he know Adam realized Charlie was Adam’s but it was only after Lilith had pointed out how similar Lucifer and Charlie were despite “not being related”

Just...he had no way of bringing it up without it being awkward

And especially because Adam never acknowledged it too

Adam may have gone to that last Extermination drink off his ass just to get through it. Getting lost in the role he had to play. He wasn't actually going to kill Charlie, but he had to pretend. He's always had to pretend.

He especially had to pretend to Heaven

And when Lucifer showed up...instead of just ending it, Lucifer mocked him all over again. Fine. *FINE*. Adam wouldn't even ENTERTAIN the notion of talking it out. Just go scorched earth on this bitch, he was DONE

Just having so much pent up anger that he lets everything happen because he couldn’t man up and say something sooner

And then he was stabbed. Like 26 times, Great. Now he's dying. And no one will know the truth.

Sobbing not cuz he’s dying but because he died lying to everyone, *Sigh* 😔 I know it makes sense to kill him but imagine Lucifer saves him

Now he's alive. But practically a prisoner. Fuck, he might as well have kicked it

Being numb to everything and just accepting his fate as a loser

Even when Lucifer shows him the door opens. It's unlocked. He can come out.

He doesn’t even try just stays where he is holding his arm feeling like shit and Lucifer has to coax Adam. Only then does Adam follow Lucifer but still keeps his distance behind the king

Adam keeping his distance. Last time he got near, Lucifer beat the shit out of him and would have finished him off if not for Charlie

Imagine Lucifer was angry because Adam had the audacity to abandon Charlie and then almost kill her, not knowing Adam was drunk and at the time Charlie reminded him of Lucifer. The one who knocked him up and got away

Adam definitely not welcome at the Hotel so he's stuck at Lucifer's palace. His bedroom might be open but he's locked in when Lucifer is gone. Which gives him ample time to raid Lucifer's bar and get drunk enough to forget how every time he hits rock bottom, life keeps handing him a pickaxe

The first time Lucifer had come home to a very drunk Adam asleep on his bed he was annoyed especially because Adam smelled like too much alcohol.

however one day he had come home the usual, Adam drunk and laying on his bed. Lucifer sighed and walked to his closet only to hear Adam start sobbing and mumbling something that sounded like an apology.

It left an uneasy feeling on Lucifer not knowing if it was the alcohol talking or Adam was actually apologizing, he found out when he saw the man dead asleep with streams running down his face.

In his sleep, Adam had his arms curled like he's holding something

Whimpering and a cry woke him up, Adam’s eyes snapped towards the sound but the room was empty there was no one in his room and no traces of the cry actually being there.

The sound was unforgettable, he heard it in his nightmares or in his dreams. It was Charlie’s, he engraved it in his mind when she was born and he had to shield them in his wings as he held her close and cleaned her off. He remembers how small she was in his arms, how the girls pipes were the same as his other children.

Adam winced at the migraine he had, his skull was throbbing. He must have gotten back into Lucifer’s stash again. Though Lucifer never really seemed mad when Adam would go on his drinking sessions when he was away

Which was good. He wasn't going to stop. He just avoided Lucifer when he could, didn't mess anything up, and resigned himself to being the ghost that haunts the place halls. Because that's what he was. A ghost. Avoiding the north wing because that's where the big fuckoff portrait of Lilith and Lucifer were. He could spend hours glaring at it, remembering how Lucifer said he was marrying Lilith after all this time, and then just days later finding out he was pregnant.

Sometimes he’d debate fucking the picture up or he’d end up curled under it crying, it was best to just avoid it as much as possible.

At some point Adam found Lucifer’s Alcohol storage empty, and he panicked because without it he felt he couldn’t function. He couldn’t even be near Lucifer or even in the castle being sober. There was too much too much Charlie and too much Lucifer. How could he avoid it or even confront it without breaking down.

“Adam that’s enough,” Adam froze as he was throwing things around trying to look for something anything that could take his thoughts away from Lucifer. “Adam this is just sad, you can’t keep running away from me,” Lucifer stepped close too close and Adam found himself trying to get away from Lucifer despite being in a corner. “Adam I told Charlie about your behavior and she’d like to help you in your recovery,” Lucifer’s words weren’t registering in Adam’s head, he was only hearing bits and pieces.

He shakes his head, covering his ears with his hands. His head was pounding and he needed a hair of the dog before the migraine really kicked in. He couldn't process Lucifer, he DEFINITELY couldn't process Charlie.

Despite Adam’s protests he was dragged to see Charlie, and he was fucking sober. He hated it.

Charlie wasn’t too pleased about it either but from what her dad was telling her, maybe Adam wasn’t as bad as she originally thought. Especially after seeing him in person, he looked horrible and Charlie was sure that her dad was the one who dressed him because he did not look capable of doing so. Adam looked his age despite also looking young, he had lost weight in his face making him look like death. The guys hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks maybe even months, Charlie actually felt sorry for the guy.

Adam on the other hand was out of it, his mind choosing to disassociate and go on autopilot which didn’t last long because Lucifer kept bringing him back.

Husk immediately recognized the issue, making up a bloody mary despite Charlie's protests and giving it to Adam. "Look, I've seen the different levels of alcoholism, and if this fucker wasn't an angel, he'd be dead already. He needs to come down gradually, not cold turkey!"

Husk gives Lucifer a look of disappointment before giving Adam the drink, though Adam looks to the other two before drinking. Waiting for their approval before drinking it.

“Look Adam you can join me instead, but I ain’t going to talk about my feelings with you got it,” Husk made clear as they made their way to the bar. Charlie feeling guilty for telling her father to get rid of all the alcohol

Husk being careful to give Adam mixers, preferably with real fruit muddles or puree

As the sessions continue Adam started to associate a little more managing to make conversation with husk and angel, them both managing to find common ground despite not knowing what’s actually going on in his head.

They were both like small anchors that kept Adam from drifting off into his thoughts, eventually Angel managed to convince Adam to join a session of Charlie’s friendship exercises. It was a simple one or at least Charlie thought it was, it was to have everyone say one good thing about everyone.

Adam was doing good, even managing to compliment Alastors cooking. However when he got to Charlie suddenly Adam started to back track, he tried to skip her but her and Lucifer were the only two.

The panic sets in. He had SO many good things to say about Charlie, but every one of them sounded like poison coming from his mouth.

He wanted to tell her how proud he was how she grew into a wonderful person, but he couldn’t, he didn’t deserve to. He abandoned her his baby she deserved to hate him he didn’t deserve this.

Charlie started to panic now, this wasn’t supposed to happen like this. If it wasn’t for angel dust getting Adam to focus on him and to give him another compliment she was sure Adam would have had a full blown panic attack.

The fact that Adam would panic when it came to her or her dad made her think it had something to do with the exterminations but she scratched that when she say Adam and Vaggie talking about music together. There was something going on.

Lucifer too thought the same as Charlie, neither of them knowing the first man as well as they thought

Adam just leaves the room after that. He can't do this. He gets another drink and just sits in the corner waiting to go home

Angel dust followed behind him, husk had given angel a couple of bottles of booze. He hoped it would help.

Adam had become accustomed to going to Angels room for some comfort it helped that fat nugget was a sweetie. And despite Adam it felt nice to hold the little pig and just imagine he was back in heaven, with Charlie before he had to give her up.

“So do you wanna talk about it?” Angel asked softly as Adam sat on the floor so fat nugget could crawl into his lap.

“If I do it’s cuz I’m not sober,” Adam sighed out and Angel waved a bottle in front of him

“That can be arranged”

Lucifer and Charlie had a pit growing in their stomachs Adam had been in hell for about a year and still wasn’t on talking terms with them aside from small talk every so often.

A part of Lucifer wanted to get closer to Adam, it had started after he heard Adam apologizing in his sleep. It had reminded him of when he fell with Lilith and how for years he would mumble apologizing to her whether he was asleep or awake. It took a long time for him to get out of that mindset and if he was being honest, the visits he and Adam made really helped. Though Lucifer knew better, he knew those moments between him and the first man were only driven by lust and nothing more. Or at least he thought that, it wasn’t until he was actually married to Lilith did it all come together, him and her they were perfect. Their relationship was amazing up until Charlie arrived on their doorstep, it was like a switch for Lilith. The woman had begun taking care of the girl though it wasn’t as motherly as Lucifer hoped. Maybe because Charlie wasn’t hers, or maybe because she just like Lucifer realized who’s baby the girl really was.

Lucifer knew Charlie was Adam’s, he hadn’t slept with anyone other than Adam and Lilith. It wasn’t like Eve to just leave a baby so it had to have been Adam’s, at first Lucifer was angry with the idea. However those thoughts were starting to shift now that he was living with Adam

Angel was at a lose for words as Adam was in a drunken fit, the man was going through all the emotions

“It was the first time since I entered heaven that I actually felt happy,” Adam gave a shaky smile as he looked at the bottle of alcohol “it fucking broke me to leave her here,” Adam sobbed again, “looking at her now all I want to do is tell her how proud I am,” he bit his lip “but in reality I should be fucking dead, I am horrible I don’t even deserve to live with Lucifer,”

Angel pulled Adam into a hug and just let Adam sob for a good while until Lucifer came to get him. However angel wasn’t about to just let Adam go with the king in fact Angel felt the need to say something or at least give the dumbass a hint. Since whatever Adam was doing was definitely not working for anyone

That’s what we had and honestly idk what to add lol 😂 sorry for the sudden dump

[immediatebreakfast]

It's proposal day! It's another Lucy day!

One thing that I noticed in between the suitors, and Lucy's non explained accepted proposal is how the tone in the paragraph where she talks about the sexist ideas of women being lesser than men seems to be... dejected, and I dare to say exhausted.

I suppose that we women are such cowards that we think a man will save us from fears, and we marry him.

The language that Lucy uses, the sudden inclusion of it when she is talking about the proposals, all of it feels like a rehearsed point that has been hammered into Lucy's head many times. It reads as she is is trying to interrupt her sadness over rejecting Quincey and Jack by reminding herself that her feeling don't matter in the situation.

This is not only simple misogynist ideals that Bram Stoker included in a female character, but also there is something deeper there that alludes to Lucy restricting herself because of her education as a lady.

Mr. Seward, and Mr. Morris are the ones suffering after the proposals, not her. She, the 19 years girl who is for the first time steping into the role of victorian woman, is the cause of their suffering, so Lucy as a woman cannot feel bad for herself because her own existance isn't noble nor worthy. Lucy must center her conflicting feelings, and her tears around the two gentleman she had to reject.

This is not an opinion for Lucy, it's a fact that her entire social, and cultural environment has been telling her since she was born. However there is this little detail that makes her comments a little bit worse for her mental space.

why are men so noble when we women are so little worthy of them? Here was I almost making fun of this great-hearted, true gentleman.

Remember that this is Lucy writing to Mina, and consequently Jonathan because she gave her permission to tell him; two people that she is implied to know since chilhood, and two lovers that definitely do not follow the picture that Lucy paints. In this letter Lucy is almost baring her soul enough to Mina, who despite most likely holding the same ideals doesn't experience the actual whole weight of them as a woman.

Even if it's very clear that she is utterly smittem with Arthur, does Lucy longs for the odd for the times dynamic of Mina and Jonathan? Does she feels that as much as she loves Arthur with all of heart, all of that stuff will still resonate in every step, and action she takes in their marriage?

Oh, why must a man like that be made unhappy when there are lots of girls about who would worship the very ground he trod on? I know I would if I were free—only I don't want to be free. ... I am very, very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it.

Lucy is midly aware that her position is a cage, even if she chose the man she will marry she still views her own decision as the entrance of a cage. However, thanks to her upbringing, Lucy doesn't see this as an opportunity to try, and build a relationship with equal footing like Mina, instead Lucy tells herself that she, as a woman, doesn't deserve enough the happiness she feels.

And that is so tragic.

[s1m0nth3swag]

Gotta yap about my Dead boy boyfriends sorry chat

Like

I physically need to talk about them but my friends haven't watched the show yet (WATCH IT OTS SO GREAT AAHHHHH)

Some short imagines/ short scenario type of stuff? Idk

Not proofread (atp I don't know what that word means ngl I never proofread my studf)

It is currently 11pm for me, I am tired, this probably sucks but I do not care actually

☆ Imagine meeting the two for the first time and you genuinely cannot speak because they're both a little too gorgeous, I mean, Edwin slays his outfit and Charles has the biggest brown eyes. Pretty boys fr

★ I just think that, if you're another ghost, Edwin would like you more at first, if you're alive, Charles would (because of the whole Charles hates being dead thing and Edwin doesn't like being around the living)

☆ In this scenario, let's play with you being alive and (mostly) well. Involved in one of their cases, maybe, or you went into Jennys shop to get meat or something (if you don't eat meat pretend you're cooking a meal for a friend or something)

★ Probably immediately you kinda notice a strange aura (totally not Charles staring you down because he's never seen someone as cool and swag as you) - and let's be honest you aren't even surprised when you meet Crystal and she's looking at the corner all weird.

☆ meeting them again however, you probably just had some near death experience (maybe you wandered into a haunted house, or you somehow got involved in the whole Esther business) and you probably don't even care that ghosts exist because yeah, kinda checks out

★ Charles is probably immediately on your heel (Edwin is just the tiniest bit jealous) asking you all sorts of questions (Edwin is just the tiniest bit interested as well)

☆ getting to know them better, Edwin finds he quite likes yapping about cases with you (my autistic ghost boy needs someone that ACTUALLY listens to what he says) he will be overjoyed if he starts talking about a case and you go "Oh wasn't that the one where.." because yes!! It was that case! You remembered!! Good job!!!

★ I feel like the whole relationship would come along naturally at some point. Just you complaining how you can't sleep because your pillow is too warm and both of them offering to stay with you since ghosts are pretty cold

☆ they have the mutual agreement that they're somewhat sharing your affection since you give both of them the same. They'll just have conversations like "did you already tell them [...]" and "Oh, yeah I did could you do [...] for them?" Already being fully in the mindset of 'we can and will make this work with three people'

★ I think Charles would actually have a more difficult time when the relationship officially starts though. He just has so much affection for you and Edwin that he's almost bursting, but Edwin doesn't always like touch so he has ti be careful and look for the signs and you actually have to keep yourself up and cared for instead of being able to cuddle 24/7

☆ Just a silly boy struggling with not kissing and hugging both his partners at all times (though he has two hands, and will be the middle part whenever the three of you walk somewhere.)

☆ Edwin is more a acts of service type of guy while Charles, obviously, is big on physical touch, so whenever Charles holds you back from doing laundry or the dishes, Edwin will do it for you so you can chill out

★ doesn't mean you don't do things for the boys, though. You regularly get books for Edwin (which he's happier about that he shows) and always give Charles the chance to talk to you without any judgement (same goes for Edwin, though he doesn't use that offer as often as Charles)

☆ Imagine Charles rescuing Edwin from hell and that night the three cuddle up with each other even though Edwin and Charles don't sleep, just so you can hold both of them to make sure they're still there and well

[acroagoraphobe]

Joshua Graham hcs 🥺 his soft side that he only shows in front of the courier he has a crush on.

YESSSS!!!

This is a great Idea!

(Also some general Hcs about when Joshy has the big feel for courier.)

He's generally less harsh and speaks slightly softer around them, not even on purpose either. And he doesn't realize he's doing it. Best that the courier doesn't point it out because Joshy will definitely get defensive about it.

Reminds them to take care of themselves more than he remembers to take care of himself, Haven't drank water in an hour?! They better drink it because Joshua is gonna be on their ass about it even though he hasn't drank any in 6 hours.

Their guns? Cleaned perfectly because he can't have the courier's guns being in bad condition! (He doesn't want them to get hurt but he won't directly tell them that.)

Any time he says stuff about how he feels to them, it's always like just hints and generally pretending that he's just being nice (because he thinks the courier deserves MUCH better than him.)

He can and will adjust their shirt, sleeves, etc. Just to "make sure they look presentable." (He actually just wants an excuse to touch them without it being weird.)

He is generally more relaxed around the courier, but I don't think anyone would be able to tell really, because he always sits like he's about to get jumped, and there's only a slight difference when he's relaxed.

He's always going to sit as close to them as he can, again. Without it being weird. He just wants to make sure they're safe. And what's a better way than sitting close to them?

Constantly looking over at them to make sure they're doing all right. Thankfully they haven't noticed yet. (or so he thinks.)

When he looks at them it's much less intense than his usual gaze. His usual gaze looks like it's judging everyone in a 5 mile radius for their sins. The one around the courier just screams "Im hopelessly in love with this Wonderful person that has graced the earth."

[harukamitsuki]

Ugghh been consuming some bnha stuff and I'm reminded of why I largely prefer fanfiction over the actual story. I have so much hate and pettiness within me. Even so, I am never going to change my mind on how much I hate how bnha is just an amalgamation of wasted potention. Search the definition of wasted potential up and there's just an image of bnha.

I remember watching it as the first season was coming about because it was made by Bones and I just have to watch it in that case. I watched episode one and was so excited.

We have our mc, Midoriya Izuku, being powerless in a world full of quirks.

His childhood friend turned bully, Bakugou Katsuki, is shown to be favoured by literally everyone and this feeds into his ego.

All Might, the number one hero, is jaded and powerless for 21 hours of the day because of a fight nobody knew existed. Izuku is attacked and helpless, but saved by All Might. All Might tells him he can't become a hero. A much needed reality check because Izuku didn't work out a single bit before then and it's so incredibly hard to fight someone who has something you lack.

Then Bakugou is attacked and helpless. Bakugou, who is so much stronger and who people love, is left useless, only able to make the situation worse with his explosions creating a fire hazard. The pro-heroes can't do anything. All Might and Izuku both hate themselves for the part they played and how useless they are. Then Izuku sees how scared Bakugou is. He runs in, inspiring All Might as he mocks himself for breaking Izuku's dream yet forgetting the core of heroism.

Then, after all is said and done, All Might goes back to Izuku. And he tells him he can become a hero.

...

Then he offers him One for All. Now, when I was watching this for the first time, I was so disappointed. You set up a powerless mc in a world full of powers and you just give him the power of the strongest hero? Great. But, I kept watching.

I watched Izuku work to get his power, struggle even after getting a quirk. I watched as Izuku finally stood up for himself and win against Bakugou. I watched as the series went on and I... I started noticing more and more missed opportunities.

See, bnha is supposed to be a zero to hero story. It's supposed to be about the mc going from powerless to powerful. But it does it so quickly. Suddenly, it's not about Izuku finding his own form of strength, or realising how being quirkless may not give any advantages but it also has no disadvantages, or even any commentary on quirk discrimination or fantastic racism or anything.

It turns into a story about controlling your power. It's not what I signed up for.

That's just one missed potential. There's so many more. Horikoshi clearly tries to make some commentary on quirk discrimination and female heroes/sexism in the workplace and entertainment over peace. There's some effort put into making a comment on how heroes are glorified and people don't see them as public workers, they see them as celebreties.

But it's never delved into. We don't see how bad people with mutant or 'villainous' quirks are treated, and we don't see how people with weak quirks are treated, or how the quirkless are treated (because the only reason Izuku was treated so horribly was because of Bakugou). We don't see how female heroes need to have a bit of allure in their personas to have any sort of support.

Yuuei is literally a camp for making child soldiers, yet there's no controversy over it? There's no such things as heroes having to take lethal action and no moral dilemmas over it? There's nobody speaking out about how Midnight flirts with students?

We have literally no information about how heroes work. We don't know how their salaries are decided, how they're ranked, how undergound heroes work. if twilight heroes are a thing, how anybody but Rock Lock feels about bringing children into adult matters, (seriously, why do people hate Rock Lock for being rightfully worried about having 15 year olds in a raid against the yakuza), we don't know how villains work and how to decide if one's a criminal or a villain.

Heck, the only laws we know of are fanon, and the canon stupid idea that you can't use your quirk in self-defense.

It's just. Incredibly infuriating.

Also, analysis as a whole is so under-utilised. Both Izuku and Shigaraki are deemed creepy for their analysis, which is such a useful tool. I mean, Izuku accurately guesses Stain's quirk, which is useful because, otherwise, they wouldn't be wary about Stain licking their blood or cutting them. Shigaraki accurately guesses the time intervals between Aizawa's blinks, which helps him a shit ton.

But is it ever used outside of these situations? No. The thing is, quirks are scientific in nature, not magic. Therefore, they're not restricted like magic is. Fire doesn't always have to be fire, it can be smoke or just heat. Ice can be water or steam. Acid can melt through anything or just be used as a mario kart banana peel.

There was so much missed potential and that's exactly why there's so much fan content.

Horikoshi leaves so much out, and everything he misses tends to be the interesting parts. He willfully explains Bakugou's quirk in detail, but everyone else? Nah. Fuck them.

I mean, let's look at Ochako's quirk.

Gravity negation. Or is it? See, if it were just gravity negation, then two things, in particular, would happen. First of all, Izuku would have fucking died when she saved him from falling. Second of all, she would not have been able to get infinity in the ball throw.

Negating gravity does not negate the forces. Therefore, when she saved Izuku from falling, he would have still been affected by the force of his fall. It would have been no different from hitting the concrete. Additionally, when she threw the ball, it kept going. Air drag would have made it so that she couldn't possibly get an infinity.

More accurately, rather than force negation as some fanfics suggests, she's telekinetically accelerating whatever she touches. She telekinetically accelerates Izuku's body to stop him falling, and does the reverse for the ball, making it so that it continues to accelerate after she throws it.

See what I mean? Because Horikoshi gave Bakugou's quirk a scientific explanation with him sweating a nitroglycerin-like substance and being able to spark it, you have to look at every quirk with scientific knowledge. He could have said 'oh, yeah, I store energy from my quirk in these gauntlets' but Hori just had to be a smartass.

By the way, because of Bakugou's explanation, it's possible that his quirk is not what is named. Yes, it's possible to have two sides of a quirk, as we see in Shouto, but Bakugou's quirk isn't explained in the same way.

Rather than his quirk being creating explosions, his quirk is more like creating sparks in his palms. Why? Well, you see. Bnha never delves into actual quirk theory, but there's more than enough canon evidence that you have one main quirk and then one or more quirk mutations. For example, Ashido Mina's quirk is secreting acid that she can manipulate the acidity and viscocity of. Her appearance is not related to her quirk at all, meaning it's a quirk mutation from her parents. Same with Tokoyami Fumikage. Quirk is Dark Shadow, so there's no need for the bird head.

Why does this relate to Bakugou? Let me explain: Bakugou explains that he recieved a mutation from his parents with his mother secreting glycerin and his father sweating acid with combustive properties. In other words, Bakugou inherited nitroglycerin-like sweat from his parents, but his actual quirk is being able to create sparks.

His quirk is 'Sparks'. Not Explosions.

Why am I ranting about this? Because bnha completely misses all of this! It makes no sense which is a shame because the concept is so interesting! But then it throws away any scraps of potential left when it becomes 'My Kacchan Academia'.

Seriously, why do people and why does Horikoshi love abusive pieces of shit so much? Why did he throw away the potential to look into Shouto and his siblings' feeling about Endeavour? Why did he make Dabi's plot all about Endeavour instead of Shouto?

It's so easy to compare the ways Dabi and Shouto handle their trauma and their ways of revenge. It's so easy to look at Dabi and think about how easy it would have been for Shouto to become like him.

Shouto was transfixed on Endeavour. Everything he did related back to his hate for Endeavour. Using his quirk, fighting, grades, social interaction, everything. His only reason for becoming a hero is to spite Endeavour. It's only because Izuku reaches out to him and saves him from his own toxic mindset that he's able to move one and do things for himself.

Dabi, or Touya, on the other hand, doesn't get that. He doesn't get that person who recognises how far he's gone, how, in trying to spite Enveavour, he's living a life centred on him. How he's jealous of his little brother for being abused and tormented.

While Shouto became a hero to spite Endeavour, Dabi became a villain.

They're both full of hatred at first, but Shouto is saved from that spiral. Izuku helps him. Dabi doesn't have that. It would have been so interesting to see these two face of as parellels, but nope. It's all about Endeavour. Shouto is nothing more than an accessory.

I understand Dabi being hung up on Endeavour, but to outright replace Shouto with the abusive flaming trashbag? No.

Also, if Horikoshi wanted Dabi to be seen as sympathetic or redeemable, don't make him kill innocent people. Don't make it so that he unlocks an ice aspect to his quirk in a life-or-death situation because all that means is that Endeavour was right to hurt Touya the way he did. All that says is Endeavour should have hurt him more.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BAKUGOU.

This piece of shit bullied Izuku relentlessly for years, used his quirk on him (yes that is canon), told him to end his life, tried to assault him in Yuuei, tried to kill him, threw a tantrum at an abused kid for not being magically okay with using a quirk that reminded him of his abusive father, assaults Izuku when he tries to work together but still magically gets a pass for being carried out unconcious which Sero was failed for, and the list just keeps growing.

Oh, but my bad. He has a sad backstory. You see, he fell in a river.

[race-week]

I don't have a particularly good opinion on Senna, but I think F1 fans are being just as weird as they're accusing the drivers of being.

Like in Imola, we had Verstappen and Bottas getting flamed for not wearing the shirts. We had Lando getting flamed for wearing a McLaren rain jacket over his shirt for part of the time. We had Oscar getting flamed for seemingly not being present. We had both Ferrari drivers getting flamed for "actually taking it seriously."

Now this weekend, we have McLaren more so celebrating his accomplishments as a driver than commemorating his death, and you still have both their drivers getting flamed because the special helmets are too much, they're milking it now, etc.? But then before the special helmets were announced and it was just the special livery, half the comments were about how their OG helmet colors wouldn't go well with the special livery.

I'm honestly convinced F1 fans just like having things to complain about.

F1 fans just like having things to complain about.

Pretty much.

Thing is there’s nuance and shades of grey with everything and I think social media is definitely an echo chamber where this nuance gets lost.

Like, I struggle to say fully either way whether Senna was a good person or not, I didn’t know him, I was born after he died, growing up I was told stories about his greatness.

I also know that he had a romantic relationship with a teenager when he was considerably older which makes me incredibly uncomfortable, but likewise I also know that the charitable organisation that he set up before his death has invested over $80m into education and development for children and young people in Brazil.

Did he do bad and questionable things in his life? yes, did he also do good? yes. I don’t necessarily think you can one to detract from the other though, they both exist, humans are multi faceted.

I think it’s so easy to get caught up either side of the discussion/argument that there isn’t a perfect way to handle these sorts of things.

I just struggle to dictate (?) how I think someone should be remembered, I think it’s good to acknowledge the bad stuff, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate the good as well.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the Asshole for not helping move my best friend to her room?

(😴👻) ref tag

So last night, my best friend/roommate (26F) came home super late with her new fling and fling's friend. Luckily I had gotten home not too long before her and I was able to let them in (long story short, bestie's keys are in another state rn so we just have my house key). Bestie was druuuunk like a skunk and all three were high on K(etamine). Since I was already up and didn't feel like I could get back to sleep I hung out with them. Fling and Fling's friend seemed way more high than drunk, with Fling making me somewhat worried bc she kept racking up and taking more after saying how she was already stupid high and having "the worst k trip ever". I was not getting great vibes from Fling, she kept talking about how she couldn't go on dates without being high and how unavailable she felt. I can't remember exactly bc I was pretty buzzed and trying not to listen too hard (she was talking to her friend and not really to me) Also she didn't offer me even a bump, which in my circles its rude to not offer your host some of the drugs you're doing in their house, but whatever.

Flings friend I wasnt worried about, she just wanted to listen to tool and Deftones and gently suggested Fling not do so much K.

Bestie crashed on the couch hard not very long after getting home, and I was worried bc I haven't seen her crash out cold like that before in a long time. Fling tried waking her up a couple times to get her to move to her room but Bestie was out. She was breathing kinda weird in her sleep so I told Fling to make sure her face isn't smashed into the couch cushions so she can breath easier, and bestie sounded fine after that. Fling said again she just wanted to sleep but she wants to bring bestie with her, but bestie won't wake up. And Fling is so unavailable to deal with this. She kept bringing this up over and over, in the way people loop when they're high AF and it started to feel off to me?

I told Fling to just let Bestie sleep it off on the couch, and we'll all keep an eye on her but she and her friend are welcome to crash for the night, and Bestie wouldn't mind them taking her bed (she really wouldn't). Fling kept saying how uncomfortable Bestie must be, she just wants to get her into her room, etc etc. I told her if Bestie was that uncomfy she'd wake up and move. I was going to go to bed myself but my guts told me to stay up and keep an eye on things? I just felt weird about Fling trying to get Bestie into her room with Bestie so completely fucked up. I don't know I just didn't think I could trust Fling for some reason, maybe it was how she was talking about other things or that she seemed to have no control over her K use? Fling and her friend ended up crashing in bestie's room, I stayed up a bit longer to make sure Bestie was sleeping on her side and stuff and then went to my room.

I feel like an asshole because Bestie says I'm a meddling cockblocker for not helping/letting her fling get her to her room, but I was thinking if her fling was a guy then I'd be so worried about bestie getting assaulted/taken advantage of, and who's to say Fling wouldn't have done that? I just didn't feel like it was safe for bestie to be alone with someone she just met while so fucked up. Maybe I am a meddler tho?

[snarky-art]

Daphne coronation day fit idea

Not sure if I’m totally happy with it but it’s a start at the very least

She went through this ceremony before she died when she was 4 and started working with The Flame, but she wasn’t wearing the front headpiece with the cyan gem in it that time. She was wearing the other one with the additional flares on the outside of it and the purple gem, the one used for the heir that’s using the flame. The cyan one is simply for an heir for the royal family. She wears it this time since she is no longer the holder of The Dragon Flame.

This ceremony is done this time after Marion, Oritel, Bloom, and Daphne have a long and serious conversation after Daphne is healed and in a much better place mentally and physically about what Bloom and Daphne would like going forward for their positions. It’s decided Daphne shall remain heir and next in line for the throne and Bloom shall remain holder of The Dragon Flame and second in line, allowing her more flexibility to visit between Earth, Domino, and wherever else in The Magical Realm she’d like to go.

Ceremony details below the cut!

Before the ceremony starts she steps into a fire at the beginning of the hall to mark her feet.

She'll have her eyes painted with soot and her forehead and the center of her lip will be marked with it too during the ceremony by an elder who has worked and trained with The Flame.

She will then dip her fingers into flame and bury them into the soot at the bottom of it (Dominions have decent fire resistance don't worry, and Daphne is especially resistant, virtually immune. The reason she got burns before dying is a mix of her body struggling to function without The Flame by focusing on the most basic functions needed to survive and because that fire wasn’t regular fire. It was imbued and caused by such potent magic with a great ill intent and want for destruction)

The ceremony is then completed and she is given a staff made from The Great Tree's wood with foliage wrapped over it and a gold egg with imagery of The Great Tree (pictured in the second image in this post) and is declared the heir proper.

Soot in different places mean different things

For the eyes, the visions of The Dragon, showing It’s will

The mouth, to speak It’s will

The forehead, to give the being It’s ideas and wisdom

The hands, to enact It’s will

And the feet, to follow It and go where It wills There's other options too for people with different disabilities, but those are the basics and the ones Daphne is doing.

For the order the 3 circles symbolizing birth, life, and death, are meant to be read in that are shown in repetition throughout the imagery, they can technically be read either way, but typically the cycles of birth, life, and death are read from bottom to top

For The Tree, it shows how life begins at the roots, where The Dragon is said to be sleeping under it, then the trunk, life as it grows, and the leaves, death, since they are the thing that wither and fall

Same on the face paint. When people die, their last breath is said to return to the dragon. So for it to be on the lips, as that's where the last breath is taken, it's typical for that. Life continues so long as breath passes through the neck, and the base of the neck is where that breath is shown to start, or at least that is what older customs believed and dictated when these ceremonies first started as remembered in Dominion history, and it has stuck ever since.

And then for it to be on the top of the old Flame symbol, it starts in the tinder, lives with the body of the fire, and then death at the top where it withers and flickers faintly.

I explain more in depth some stuff and other bits of symbolism found in Dominion culture in this post about Bloom’s Mythix also if you want to check it out!:)