#tonal whiplash much?

[vulpixisananimal]

(Self harm and dagger(ish) below the cut)

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

(You and Isabeau were standing outside the Defenders house, it was just you two. The others where to look around Jouvente for information on mind craft and how to undo it.)

"It's probably not." (You reply.) "But it's less suspicious if it's just you and me."

"I guess so. . ."

"Chin up, Isabeau." (You turn to him, smiling.) "I got your back, break a leg!"

(He nods, more confident.) "Right! Break a leg!"

(You two walk in, you've been here before. On cue, Ramos shows up.) "Isabeau?!?"

("Just pretend you know them, that's your script.")

". . Ramos?" (Isabeau tilts his head.) "Is that you?"

(Ramos pauses for a second, before giving a big smile back and walking over) "Isa! it's been, what, almost a year??"

("You're best friends, you helped eachother out, just play along, you got this Isabeau~")

"Yeah!! Sorry I was just surprised to uh, see you!"

(Ramos goes to put a hand on Isabeaus shoulder, as you practiced, Isabeau visibly flinches, giving Ramos a pause.)

". . . You alright, Isa?" (They ask.)

"Y-yeah just," (He rubs his shoulder.) "Uh, I'll, tell you later! Oh! Right! This is Siffrin! A really good friend of mine!"

(Isabeau gestured to you, and you gave a a half bow.) "Charmed~"

(Honestly? Isa isn't as bad an actor as you first thought. Maybe it was that nervousness? Either way, it looked like it was working. Ramos gave that half bow back.)

"Good to meet you Siffrin! Let me guess, helped save the country?"

"Of course, your trusty rougish traveler Siffrin." (You wink.)

(Ramos squints.) ". . . Are you two-"

"A-anyway!!" (Isa cuts them off.) "I-I wanted to come visit while we're in town! See how my old friend is doing!"

"Oh! Oh thank you!" (Ramos is absolutly beaming.) "Hey!! Let me show you my new room here! It's awesome!"

(Okay, things were going well so far. Ramos didn't touch Isa, and it didn't look like they were going to try. Perfect. You had predicted that if Isa sticks to the script, Ramos wouldn't try and use mind craft. I mean, Isa already knew Ramos' name, and was acting like they were good friends.)

(You keep walking, Isa and Ramos chatting as you did. You were really proud of him, honestly. He was sticking to topics that might get you good information while avoiding suspicion. You learned that Ramos was genuinly getting better with defender stuff, and they were more confident. They had started experimenting with their scissors craft more, which you didn't even know about! Ramos was scissors\rock type. Ramos didn't have family in town.)

(Stars, maybe you should have payed more attention the first time you were here.)

(Finally, after many halls and a few staircases, Ramos came to a room and let you both inside. The room was a decent size, about the size of the Head Housemaidens office. There was a desk, a bookshelf, a wardrobe, a window outside, a bed, and a mat in the center of the room. It looks like it was for training.)

"Sorry! I don't have extra chairs." (Says Ramos, offering the desk chair to you two.)

"I'll be fine on the bed!" (Isa says cheerily.)

"I'll stand." (You say.)

"Suit yourself!" (Ramos collapses onto the chair and sighs.) "It's, it's really great to see you, Isa."

"Yeah. . ." (Isa replies.)

(You tilt your head, your turn.) "Is Jouvente a rough place? Looks like you got hurt."

"Huh? Oh!" (Ramos lifts up their shoulder to look at the bandage.) "Well, no, it's real safe here, not had any issues in forever, but. . ."

"But. . ?"

"W-well, I, honestly have no idea, haha." (They laugh nervously,) "I got sliced pretty bad I guess, looks kinda like a sword? Deffinatly a pierce craft thing though, at least that's what I was told."

(Huh, Mirabelle's rapier would have done that. Hmm, then there's a way Ramos could blame HER for the near kidnapping. But still. . .) "You don't remember at all?"

"Nope!" (Ramos shakes their head.) "There was a lot of yesterday that's just a blur."

(Huh!)

(Do you believe them?)

(I'm starting to.)

"I can relate." (You say.)

(Ask about wishes.)

"Say, Ramos, have you heard of Wish Craft?"

"Huh?" (They tilt their head.) "Wish Craft?"

(You nod, Ramos starts thinking, and eventually replied,) "Wish Craft, Wish Craft. . . Oh maybe!"

(OH?)

(Interesting.)

"Yeah I think I heard about it from someone I met! Make a wish and-"

(You see them visibly wince, then shake their head before continuing.) "And. . . And. . ."

(You and Isa glance at each other. Clearly, something just happened. Isa speaks up.) "Make a wish and, what?"

(Ramos blinks, then smiles.) "Sorry, what where we just talking about?"

(What.)

(Isabeau stood up.) "Are you, alright? Rams?"

"Yeah just, just a bit dizzy." (They stand up too, using their desk to support themself.) "I just, need some air-"

(They trip getting up, and before you could stop him, Isabeau rushed forward to catch them before they hit the ground, and caught their hand.)

(There was a moment before Isa realized what he just did. He gasped, let Ramos down and backed away.) "Oh, o-ohcCrab Sif, Sif I'm s-"

"It's alright!" (You walk over to Isa and put a hand on his shoulder.) "Dizzy?"

"What are you two-" (Ramos says, getting up off the floor.)

(Isa nods, you could see him squinting, he put a hand to his head. Stars, mind craft in action. You pat his shoulder.) "You'll be alright, the plan, remember?"

"R-right." (Isabeau, still holding his head, rushed to the door and left. That was the plan B, after all. If Ramos touches you, run to the others.)

(Speaking of, Ramos was looking at you in bewilderment.) ". . . What the change!?!"

"You wished to be just as strong as Isabeau" (You grip your dagger.) "You were given a gift of Mind Craft so that everyone would believe you were as strong as him. You wanted to be everyones favorite, the best. "

(They're shocked, as to be expected.) "How do you know that!"

(You smile at them.) "You told me."

(Ramos is looking at you, backing up to their dresser.) "I-"

"Truth time, Ramos~" (You say, drawing your dagger and twirling it around.) "I'll start, I can repeat today as many times as I want~ We've actually met four times already."

"But that's. . ." (They were looking at you, and around the room, before sighing.) "No, that's perfectly possible, the King froze time after all."

"Tee hee~ the King was an amature. Your turn, do have a question for me?"

(Ramos scoffed.) "If you can repeat today as many times as you want, why should I tell the truth? I wont remember anything if time gets undone, right?"

(You keep smiling.) "Because the alternative is me coming back here every time, and each time finding out a new way to hurt you~"

(Ramos is staring at you.)

"You're trying to figure out if I'd do it, of course I would. To me, everyone here is an actor, including myself~"

(You twirl your dagger, then hold it right below your eyepatch.) "Time will just get turned back after all~"

". . . You're insane."

"Quite~" (Stars, Siffrin, please forgive me. You press the blade against your skin. It stings, you can feel the blood-)

"S-stop stop!!" (Ramos waves their hands.) "I get it! Alright! Fine! I just, fine!"

"Good~" (You put the knife down, ow ow ow. . .)

(And you call me a hypocrite.)

(. . . You keep talking.) "Now, truth time, did you try and kidnap a kid named Bonnie yesterday?"

"What?!?!" (Ramos seemes offended at the idea, scowling at you.) Of course not!!"

(Same reaction. Maybe it's not them, or they don't remember.)

"Good! Now, how about-"

"Hey! My turn!" (Ramos interupts.)

"Fine, fine, ask away."

(Ramos was glaring at you, they grunted.) "Did. . . Did Isabeau really remember me? Or was all that a carbbin' act."

(Hmmm.) "A bit of yes, a bit of no. He didn't bring you up on our grand adventure, but when I woke up this morning and told him all about you, well, he seemed so genuinly worried~"

(They look away, no response.)

"My turn~ Where did you get this Mind Craft, Rammy?"

"Don't call me that." (They're staring daggers at you.) "Ever."

(Your taken aback by that.) "Oh, sorry." (What kind of nerve did you hit?)

". . ." (They huff.) "I asked for it, and I got it, that's it."

"That's it? Aren't we having truth time Ramos~?"

"Shut the crab up!" (They bite back.) "What do you care anyway! Change, you could probably just kill me and get on with your life!"

(. . .)

"Yeah, you could, you could blame it on whoever you want I bet. So why don't you! It'd be easy! Just easy to get rid of me and move on!!"

(They rip open the door of their clausit and grab a weapon, a pair of tonfas. Looking back at you, there was murder in their eyes.)

(What in the stars did you SAY.)

"If you CAN go back in time, do it." (They were about to pounce.) "'Cause otherwise I'll make you forget your whole crabbing life."

(. . . . . . .)

(You open your mouth, you tell them to never touch your memory. Ever.)

(You rush forward with blinding speed, swiping at Ramos' neck with your dagger. They block. You recoil.)

(What are you doing?!?!!)

(You ignore Loop. Ramos counters, a one, two, three hit combo to try and get you off balance. You dodge each of them, and swipe back, catching Ramos' arm. Good.)

(GOOD?!? Are you even thinking right now! They could turn into a sadness again and we'd be stuck at square one!!!)

(So what.)

(They hold out a fist and strike a pose, as if on cue you can feel your feet get sluggish. Stars. They're smart. You're smart, too. You hold a palm, [PAPER])

(SO WHAT?!? We almost lost to that sadness! )

(You almost lost to that sadness. Besides. You wont let Ramos live long enough for that.)

(WHAT?!?)

(Ramos gets blasted into their desk, but got up quickly, wiping some blood off of their mouth and diving at you. You sidestep and-)

(NO!!!)

(They dive at you, this time you deflect the blow, leaving Ramos open. Hmm, did you loop on instinct? You saw at the last second that Ramos was about to hit you with their back foot? Strange. You swipe at them with your dagger. You connect.)

"Hrrk-" (They stumble back, gripping a wound in their chest.)

(You can't kill them! We can't kill them!)

(It's that or get our memory erased.)

(We can't-)

(Ramos glares at you, grabs something on their desk and throws it at you. You swipe it out of the air, Ramos took the chance and rushed at you and-)

(You dodge the thrown item and dance out of Ramos way, swiping at them again.)

(. . . . . . .Where is everyone?)

(Who, is everyone?)

(Your opponent is panting, and looks at you with anger in their eyes. They look so different. So wild. Who are you? Who am I. No time to think, just get ready to move again. Ramos, they gripped their wound and gritted their teeth, some healing craft rushing to the gash.)

(You ready your dagger, you breathe in, and out. Time is your plaything, you will try and try again untill you win. The question is, what role will you take?)

(You dash forwards, moving like water, like sand. You swipe at what seems to be their dominant arm.)

(Another block, and another counter attack. You try and parry this one-)

(Wont work, try again.)

(You feel the weight of time upon you back, but no, you will defy it.)

(You try and dodge this time. You rush to the side, Ramos strike going over your head as you-)

(No, try again. once more, action. You rush in. Not expecting it, Ramos overshoots you. You grip your dagger, now behind them.)

(You've won. In this moment, no matter what, you can repeat your script to this victory.)

(. . . You strike them on the back of the head with the hilt of your dagger. Today, mercy.)

(Ramos collapses to the floor. Your adversary, perhaps. The antagonist? For now, that's what they are all for now. You kneel down.)

(. . . . . . . . .)

(They're not dead.)

(You hold your head as a wave of mental exhaust rushes through you. Ok. You were back. Loop time. You terrible, terrible think! Stop taking over just at any time! You barely could remember the battle! What did you DO!?!)

(. . . Not here then? Fine! You get up, you needed to search the room, quickly.)

(Nothing around the bed, the dresser is full of clothes, of many different styles- wait you recognize that stitching. A vest that Isabeau must have made. Ok, ok what else. Drawers! You look through the drawers, nothing, random magazines, and- oh you wont check that one again. Nothing.)

(The desk. Check the desk. You look through the different cabbinets in the desk, anything- maybe something taped to the underside? No. Stars, wait. . .)

(Stuffed at the very back of the bottom drawer of the desk was a photo.)

(The back was signed. "Good luck, Azzy, and write home often.")

(You heared footsteps outside. No time- wait, one last thing. You go over to Ramos, and gently undo their bandana, taking care to not touch the skin. Sure, you had gloves, but just in case. . .)

(There it is. Damn star pendant. It glowed softly. Taking a snuff, it smelled of. . . Mint? Maybe, was it mint? No, wasn't there supposed to be a sugary smell? It was a wish after all, right?)

(. . . You have more questions for next time, but someone was banging on Ramos door.)

(You look out the window- Oh of course. You were what, three? Four stories up? If you jumped out from here, you'd likely die.)

(. . . Like that wasn't an issue, tee hee~ And if you don't die, you could check with the others.)

(. . . No time to dwell on it, you back up a few steps, take a breath, and take a running leap.)

(. . .It's like your flying!)

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[killjoy-prince]

House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode

[strangersteddierthings]

The Conversation

Final Part of The Interview [Part One] [Part Two] [Ao3]

Steve finishes putting on his boots, shoves a beanie on his head, and grabs his thermos of coffee before heading outside. Robin had texted when they left Pendleton so they should be arriving soon, and he wants to make sure the dogs stay clear of the driveway, and also finish some of the chores he is being lazy about. The mountain air is cold in February, and the snow is deep, but it's still warm for a winter day in Eastern Oregon.

His childhood house had been at the edge of a little forest. His current home is tucked away in the woods, trees for miles, and the nearest neighbor farther still than that. He's lived a lot of places, been able to see the whole of America almost, and in the process, he's learned that he'll always be a small-town boy. The real revelation is how at home he feels in this two-bedroom cabin sequestered away from any town at all. Sure, he's got to drive a little over half an hour to get to the nearest grocery store, but he's learned he likes that.

He's got 1600 acres of woods all to himself and the dogs. He's owned this property for almost four years, but recent events made him finally move out here. Originally, he'd bought it to make it as another flip project, but something in his gut told him to make it a vacation home / safe haven for his family instead. Robin, mainly, as a getaway from the LA life and overwhelming spotlight she'd started to face as her music career took off. He might be turning it into his permanent home and base of operations, but everyone knows they're still welcome.

Anyway, the day might be warm for winter, but the night won't be, so Steve sets his thermos on the top of the wooden railing of the porch and heads down the steps to the woodshed. The plan in the summer is to update the cabin, which includes adding central air and a good heating system, but until then, portable heaters are in the bedrooms and the wood stove gets the rest of the cabin. There's also plans to start the construction on the guest house. It's going to be a busy summer.

He replenishes the woodpile on the porch from the woodshed and debates chopping more but decides against it. That can be a tomorrow chore. Next is cleaning up the snow paths he's made previously. Doesn't want anyone falling on their ass on the way to the house, no matter how funny that'll be to watch. As usual, Pancake makes the task difficult because she wants to play with the snow shovel. Melody cries until he throws snow into the air by the shovel full for her to play in. Chowder, old man that he is, supervises from the porch, front paws hanging just off the top step.

It's rough going but he manages to complete the few chores, even with two dogs underfoot.

Steve is on the front porch, forearms holding his weight as he leans against the railing, thermos of coffee between his hands, taking in the afternoon sun and enjoying the silence when Dustin's work truck slides into the driveway. Almost literally, given the foot and a half of snow still on the ground. The driveway is long, okay. Steve's doesn't have enough time in his day to keep up with salting it all.

It'll be strange to see Eddie after all these years. He still can't believe Robin got him to come. When he'd asked how she did it, she brushed him off with an it's not important.

Speaking of Robin, she's the first person out of the truck, sliding out of the passenger seat and then cursing when she drops right into the snow. She shoots an accusatory look towards the cabin, and therefore Steve, like he placed the snow there himself, when the fault is Dustin, who has left the driver side with plenty of room between the truck and the snowbank.

Dustin gets out of the truck and Steve faintly hears him say this side, man, less snow before pushing his door closed and turning to brace himself as Pancake and Melody rush from the porch to circle like sharks, barely restraining themselves from jumping up. Chowder follows after slowly, taking his sweet time getting to Robin, his favorite human. Steve can't even be jealous about that because Robin is his favorite human, too.

The back driver side door opens, and he watches as Eddie Munson all but falls out of the truck. It's the least graceful anyone's looked getting out of the back of the truck and that's counting Chowder and his old man hips. Seeing Eddie again is- well, it's a lot of emotions all at once, but they're are all overshadowed at the moment by how Eddie looks... well, bad. His hair is longer than Steve's ever seen it, a little longer than mid-back length, but it looks like it hasn't seen a proper hair brush in a couple of days. Even from this distance Steve can see the bags under his eyes. He looks like he hasn't slept in days.

He pushes himself off the railing and meanders down the two steps, waiting for them to notice he's waiting. Robin trudges out of the snow berm and to the front of the truck, where Chowder is waiting patiently for his pets and kisses. Dustin has managed to get Melody to stop hopping in front of him so she can get her side scratches, and Pancake has realized there is a new, third person with a set of hands currently not petting her, and is circling Eddie, waiting for him to reach down and pet her but he just stands completely still, heading tracking her in her circles.

"She's friendly, I promise," Steve calls out, which makes Eddie's head snap up to look for the source of the voice. Well, everyone looks, but Eddie looks like he's seeing a ghost, which. Fair. Steve kind of feels the same way.

"Hello, Dingus," Robin calls as she stands from her crouched position, where she's been cuddling Chowder. As soon as she stands, he starts making his way back to the porch. "I have delivered one Edward Keaton Munson. You are not allowed to ask anything of me for, at minimum, a year."

"Steve! Why didn't you tell me you knew the Eddie Munson?" Dustin shouts.

Robin is scoffing, clearly offended. "Am I not famous enough for you Henderson!?"

"Get back to me when you've run a 24-hour Dungeons and Dragons live stream for charity!" Dustin shoots back, then has to dodge Robin's half-hearted punch aimed for his arm.

Eddie stays silent, looking more pale than when he got out of the truck. Steve's a little concerned he's going to faint.

"You been living under a rock, Dustin?" Steve asks. "My knowing him is apparently the only thing on the internet currently."

Dustin puts his whole head into the eye roll. "You spend a month backpacking with your girlfriend in the southern hemisphere and you never get to hear the end of it. I told you I'd catch up on your drama after I catch up on my DnD Live Plays."

"You also missed me winning a Grammy, you know."

"I thought Steve's thing was more important?"

"You are impossible, Henderson."

"You guys going to argue in the snow all afternoon, or do you want to come inside?" Steve says then places his fingers in his mouth and whistles. Melody and Pancake dash for the front door, where Chowder is already waiting. Dustin, Robin, and a still eerily quiet Eddie fall into line to walk the trail to the porch Steve had cleared.

Steve jumps the steps, grabs his thermos, lets the dogs in, and then holds the door for everyone else. Robin and Dustin breeze past, but Eddie slows, eyes jumping around Steve's face as they just look at each other for a moment. Eddie opens, then closes, then opens, then closes his mouth.

"Hi," Steve offers up, shifting a foot to hold the door open so he can wave his fingers at Eddie.

Eddie swallows thickly, then whispers back, "hey."

"In the house, Eddie. Don't want to let too much cold in," Steve tilts his head towards the doorway.

"Oh, right, sorry," that kick starts Eddie again and he crosses the threshold, Steve close behind.

Robin and Dustin are currently occupying the bench just inside the door, taking off their shoes. Once Dustin has his boots off, he leaves the bench, heading to the kitchen. Eddie seems lost, just standing in the entryway, so Steve takes the spot Dustin just left and proceeds to undo the laces on his boots. He gets one boot done by the time Robin stands, wandering after Dustin once she's hung up her coat, scarf, and gloves. Eddie doesn't move still, so Steve pats the empty spot beside him.

"No shoes in the cabin. Dogs track in enough snow, don't need us doing it too," Steve says, then busies himself with his other boot.

He sees Eddie sit and begin to untie his- jesus, he's not even wearing boots. Just a black pair of sneakers. Eddie unties his shoes in silence, sitting rather stiffly next to Steve.

This quiet, obedient Eddie is not what he expected.

"You want something to drink?" Steve asks, once both of them are free of their shoes.

"No, thank you."

"Alright. Have a seat, then," he gestures towards the couch. The cabin door opens up directly into the living area, which Steve has set up as 3/4th a living room and 1/4th dining room, in that a small kitchen table is along the far wall. Beyond that wall is the kitchen, where Robin and Dustin are undoubtedly helping themselves to his coffee or hot chocolate.

Eddie shuffles off to sit on the edge of the couch, as close to the armrest as he can get. Now that Steve can see him closer, he can see he's added more piercing to his face than just the eyebrow ring he wore in high school. Snake bites, a septum piercing, and a second eyebrow ring next to the original. He's sure that if Eddie's hair wasn't covering his ears, he'd see more metal there. Eddie had hung up the coat he'd been wearing but under that is a hoodie he didn't take off, so Steve can only guess if he ever got those tattoos he'd been planning in high school. His entire outfit is black, which just makes him look sickly in the cabin lighting.

Steve drops himself into the chair facing the couch. It's Melody's favorite chair to curl up in, but Steve thinks she'll forgive him for taking it. There's tension in the room, so he tries to break it. "You look like you've seen a ghost, dude."

Eddie makes a weird nose, almost a whimper or a whine, but before he can say anything, Robin rounds the wall, holding a mug of hot liquid and she says, "Oh, I'm sure he feels that he has. I didn't tell me we were coming to see you."

"Robin!" Steve is shocked.

"What? You said you wouldn't mind getting some closure, so I got him here. Does it matter how?" She takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Eddie, making a show of how comfortable she is in the space by sitting cross-legged and leaning back against the couch, in comparison to Eddie who is sitting up completely straight, barely on the couch with how close to the edge he's sitting.

"Yeah, it does! If he's not here voluntarily- if Eddie doesn't want to talk to me you can't-"

"I do," Eddie says. It grabs Steve and Robin's attention and Steve sees Eddie almost wilt under their twin stares. He clears his throat before continuing, "I mean, I would have come still, if she'd told me. I do want to talk to you. Apologize for.... for everything. So much I don't even know where to begin, or how."

"Uhh, this feels like something personal," Dustin says from where he's standing with his own mug, hovering nearby. "Should I be here for this?"

Good question. Steve doesn't care if Robin and Dustin hear what they talk about, but Eddie might. "How about we just relax a bit. How was the drive?"

Eddie scrunches his face, a half confused expression on his face.

"Fine," Robin says at the same time Dustin says, "Tense as fuck."

"Those two things don't seem like they match," Steve says.

Dustin moves to plop himself on the couch in between Eddie and Robin, then quietly curses as his drink sloshes over the edge of the mug. He starts mopping at it with the sleeve of his shirt as he says, "Robin is a liar. The tension in the truck is going to linger that's how bad it was. I'll be feeling the tension every time I get in the rig. Clients will feel the tension when I pull up to their curbs!"

"It was not that bad!" Robin swats Dustin. Successfully this time, since there's no way for him to dodge unless he wants to spill his drink again.

Steve just laughs. "Robs, light of my life, mate of my soul, knowing you and your grudges, Dustin's probably going easy on the description of the tension here."

"Well, there wouldn't be tension if I was allowed to say what I want to say."

"Can we go, like, five minutes without your negativity?"

"My negativity!? I'm not negative, I'm rational and level-headed!"

"You are not sounding very level-headed right now."

Dustin chimes in, "Steve's right. Level-headed people don't have to shout that they're level-headed."

"What say you, Eds?" Steve asks, the old nickname slipping out. He doesn't have time to be embarrassed about it though.

Eddie stands quickly and flings his hands in the air, having reached an invisible limit Steve is unaware of, pacing about the living room as he basically shouts, "Why don't you hate me!? You should hate me! I hate me! I can't- why are you just sitting there, trying to have a-a decent conversation with me? You should be screaming at me! You should be mad! Why aren't you? My fuckin' song ruined your life!"

The silence in the living room is heavy following that, all eyes on Eddie. Even the dogs, who had been in various states of sleep, lift their heads and look in Eddie's direction.

He looks mortified by the out burst, and his face turns red. "I-I'm sorry. I- I'm just, I'm sorry. I need air."

They all watch silently as Eddie jams his shoes back on and goes out the front door without tying them or grabbing his coat.

Steve sighs, deep and annoyed. At Robin and himself. He looks to Robin and she looks shocked by Eddie's outburst. She was watching the door, but turns her head to meet Steve's eye, a small frown on her face.

"Well, it's not like he's going far," Dustin says. "You going after him?"

"I don't know if I should."

Dustin scoffs. "Don't be an idiot, of course you should. We drug that guy to the middle of nowhere to talk to you. He agreed to come to the middle of nowhere even though I could have been a hit man hired by Robin to off him in the woods and he didn't even complain. Didn't even question. I don't know what happened, but I think you two need talk it over."

Steve blinks at Dustin. "Since when did you get so wise?"

"I've always been wise. You just refuse to see it with your ageism. Go. Robin can fill me in on the beef, here in the toasty, cozy cabin, while you two chat in the cold, and freeze your asses off."

"I don't have ageism-"

"Wrong argument to be having, Steve!" Dustin interrupts. "And take another cup of coffee with you. Even if he doesn't drink it, dude doesn't have gloves either so y'know, warm the hands."

Steve does just that. Fills his other thermos with coffee, taking a chance by adding cream and sugar, before putting his boots, coat, and beanie back on. He throws Eddie's coat over his arm and tucks both thermos' against his body with that same arm so he can have a free hand to open the door.

Eddie isn't far. He's pacing back and forth in front of the truck, talking to himself.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Steve steps off the porch and makes his way to Eddie. "Hey."

The pacing stops and Eddie turns to look at Steve. They just look at each other as Steve approaches. Steve doesn't stop until he's close enough to reach out and touch before he shuffles the two thermos's to his other arm and extends the one with Eddie's coat on it out.

"Thank you," Eddie says, taking the coat and shoving himself into it quickly.

"Brought you coffee, too," Steve holds out one thermos and after a pause, Eddie takes it, too, then almost instantly brings his other hand up to cradle it, warming his fingers.

He looks up from the thermos and meets Steve's eye. "I am sorry, Steve. I'm sorry for how things ended between us, and for the song I wrote, and for-for not thinking about how people would be able to work out that you were the Steve from Hey Steve. You should hate me for that alone. I'm so sorry for everything that's happened because I didn't think of the consequences."

"I don't- I don't hate you man. Not... not anymore. Not for a long time."

"Well, you should!"

Steve frowns. He wants to argue because who is Eddie to tell him how he should feel? But that's not going to help anything. "When Robin called me. During her interview after the Grammy's and asked if she could tell the truth I never- I didn't know what she meant by the truth. But. Well, nothing she said was a lie, but it wasn't the full story."

Eddie stays silent, seemingly waiting for Steve to continue.

"Those first two years after our breakup were- I'm not going to lie, they were fucking awful. I think I received my first bit of hate mail the very same day Hey Steve released. It was harsh. All from the same person, but sent to my Facebook and my Twitter and Instagram. Guess they really wanted me to read it.

"And then, with each passing day, a new person, new message, just as awful. After three days I deleted Instagram and Twitter. Then I locked down Facebook but like- physical letters showed up at my house. I can't lie, it certainly felt like you'd ruined my life."

Eddie makes a wounded sound at that. "That's because I did! What I did was unforgivable and-"

"You don't get to decide for me if I forgive you or not!" Steve snaps. "I haven't actually said I did forgive you, did I? All I've said is I don't hate you."

That gets Eddie quiet again for a moment, then he says, "you ended up hospitalized because of me."

"Robin said I ended up hospitalized, and that's true, but it wasn't- It was more complicated that just being your, and your fans', fault. For people who were supposedly on 'your side' of our breakup, they used a lot of homophobic language. That's how my mom found out. The letters were easy enough to just get rid of because all the bad shit was on the inside, but someone sent a post card, and mom collected the mail that day. It's... I don't like talking about this."

"Then don't," Eddie is quick to say, "you don't have to explain anything to me, or make yourself relive these events. It's- you don't owe that to me."

"I think I need to. I wrote you a song, said I'd do it all again, and I meant that. I want you to understand why. Just. Just give me a minute."

Eddie nods and takes a sip of his coffee. He looks pleasantly surprised and takes bigger drink before his face falls into a frown as he stares down at the thermos and Steve has to look away. He turns and squeezes his eyes shut to continue. "Mom showed the postcard to my father, and he confronted me that evening. It was.... it didn't start off bad. He asked if it was true. That I was gay. I made a choice, then. I didn't have to; I could have lied. I could have told him I was straight and that I didn't understand what the postcard was saying, but I didn't.

"I knew how he felt about queer people, and I told him the truth anyway. I was bisexual. I thought it was a miracle that he didn't kick me out instantly. Instead, he calmly asked me if that meant I liked woman. I said it meant I liked more than just woman.

"Then he told me that didn't matter. That so long as I liked woman, I would be with a woman, and that we never had to speak of this again. And I told him no. He didn't get to decide that for me. He said that he would rather have a dead son than a faggot one. And I thought- I never- surely he was just meaning, like, metaphorically, right? Like, he'd disown me, kick me out or something so I scoffed and said- God, I was so stupid. I knew it wasn't safe, but I was so angry at him, I shouted 'dead or alive, I'm your faggot son so deal with it.' And he- he said 'dead it is' and he attacked me."

He hears Eddie suck in a breath, hears the crunch of snow in what could only be Eddie taking a step towards him but stopping after just one step. Steve doesn't know if he wants Eddie to close the distance and give him the hug he knows Eddie wants to do. Steve doesn't know if he'd welcome the embrace or not. He sucks in his own shaky breath, and continues, "He almost beat me to death that night. The only reason he didn't was because mom dialed 911," Steve turns around, looks at Eddie and sees the tears falling down his own face reflected on Eddie. "As far as I know, dad's still serving time for his attempted murder, so like, at least I don't have to worry about him. And mom... I don't even know what to think of that.

"She called 911, didn't want to see me die, I guess, but also couldn't have a gay son. She sold the house, and everything in it, while I was still in the hospital, and just... disappeared. Robin's family took me in. She told that story during the interview, you knoe, but I wasn't even at the house when that guy with the gun showed up. I was meeting with a lawyer.

"She-Mom was- I don't know what she was trying to do but she gave me the family business. The whole company! It felt like she was trying to buy my forgiveness, except she didn't ask for it and still hasn't contacted me. It's like... she felt guilty about what happened but hated me at the same time. Felt she needed to do something to alleviate her guilt? Or maybe she just wanted to cut herself free of the whole Harrington name; free herself from me and my father. I don't think I'll ever get closure for that one."

Steve quits talking, needs to take another moment. He'd already rambled on about more than he meant to but talking to Eddie had always done that to him. Afterall, before they dated, they'd been friends. He sips at his coffee, not knowing what else to say.

"Jesus, Stevie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know- It's no excuse but I'm just so sorry."

He doesn't think Eddie knows he called him Stevie, but it's nice to hear. "So, see, it wasn't your fault. Your song set things into motion, for sure, so it's nice to hear an apology, but like, if anyone is the bad guy in this situation, it's Richard Harrington."

"But Robin said she just had to help you move to here. That you still get hate mail, and doxxed. That's on me. I saw your list of addresses, Steve! You've had to move, like, eight times a year!"

Steve can't help the cackle that springs from him. He surprises himself with the laugh, and Eddie, too, if his wide eyes and eyebrows hidden behind his bangs are any indication. "I- yeah, I move a lot. And yes, this most recent move was because of a brick with Hey Steve scratched into it broke my living room window, but like, I've only had to move because of harassment like, four times, if I'm counting the whole mom-selling-the-house thing."

"What?"

Steve holds up a finger, adding a new one as he counts them out. "Mom sold house. Scary gun guy at Robin's. The year anniversary of your first album's release. I was still in Hawkins, figuring out what to do with all the money I'd, uhh, inherited I guess, so I was easy to find. And the most recent one. Not sure what inspired it this time. Usually, the hate mail resurges when you go on tour, but it's less and less every time. Anyway, none of those other moves are because of crazy fans."

Eddie blinks at him, a picture of confusion. "But I found a YouTube video and that guy- he showed all your old addresses. He said- I thought..."

"Well, there are a lot of addresses. But not because of your fans. I move for my job. Do you... did you even read the truck?" Steve gestures to Dustin's truck and Eddie steps around to see the printed H&H Project Flip and below that is their website.

Eddie looks back to Steve like that answers nothing. Which, fair, but it would answer a lot of questions if Eddie had looked up the website. "After that surge of anniversary hate, I knew I needed to get out of Hawkins. Robin was graduated, then, and headed to college. I decided I wanted to see more than just Hawkins. I followed Robin to college in Chicago, and uh, bought a house. A real fixer upper but that was fine. I had plenty of money to throw into it. On a whim I thought, what if I try to fix it. I had a lot of free time and if it ended up badly, I could afford to pay a professional to fix whatever I broke. I found that I loved doing that."

He's still just being looked at like he's not making sense.

Steve rolls his eyes, "I flip houses, dude. Me and Dustin. Harrington and Henderson Project Flip. I was in Chicago for three years, lots of addresses for that city. But then Robin pointed out there were a lot of states. That I should see all 50 of 'em by renovating a house in each. She'd moved in with her then-girlfriend by this time, so she said I should go. See the States at the least. So, I did. I find it easier to just live in the house I'm renovating, so I'm not paying mortgage and then rent somewhere else in the same city."

Eddie looks like he's had a rug pulled out from under him and he lets out a laugh that's a little hysterical.

"And moving so much has allowed me to meet so many amazing people, y'know? I got friends in all the states. So, like, yeah, you did ruin my life, but like, just my life from 18 to 20. So, yeah, I'd do it all again. Did you think I've been living in perpetual misery for the last ten years?"

"Robin certainly made it easy to assume that, so yeah!"

"I think she did that on purpose. To hurt you back."

"I deserve it," Eddie says. "I didn't even try to check in on you. Well, once, but when I couldn't find you on any socials I just. Gave up."

Steve shrugs. "I didn't reach out either. And if you'll remember, I broke up with you. Screamed in your face that we were over and went home."

"I don't know when, or even if, Corroded Coffin will tour again, but I swear to you, we'll never play or release Hey Steve again. And I'll release a statement, or go on camera, or something, and address this. I can't make it right, but I can make a change starting now, to do better and be better," Eddie says this while gripping his thermos to death.

"I believe you, and I forgive you."

Eddie nods grimly, then looks from Steve to the cabin, and back to Steve. "Do you think Robin will ever forgive me?"

"I don't know. You hurt her pretty badly, too. We were all best friends in school and when we broke up, you cut off Robin, too. And then, when she started to gain her own fame- I think when she first moved to LA, she thought you'd try to reach out. But you never did."

A silence falls over them, and Steve refuses to break it. He's done enough talking. They drink their coffees 'til they're empty before Eddie speaks.

"Where does this leave us?"

Steve thinks about it before answering. "You were my best friend before you were my boyfriend. You'd been in my life longer than you've been out of it. We don't have to be anything. We can have our closure and go our separate ways, if you'd prefer. But, I think I'd like another chance at being your friend."

"I can do friend," Eddie says slowly, like he's picking his words carefully. "I can. But, full transparency, I think I still love you."

It hurts to hear, after all the pain and the time, and it's a bittersweet kind of hurt. "I'll always love you, Eds. I meant it, you know, every word of the song. But I don't know if we can, or should, try again. We were so good until we weren't."

Tears spring from Eddie's eyes when Steve says he loves him, and they don't stop falling even as he's nodding along with everything Steve says. "No, I know. I know. I just, I needed you to know. Friend is, it's so fucking great. More than I ever expected, and certainly more than I dared hope."

"Come on. Let's go inside where it's warm and chat with Dustin and Robin like civilized people. I need a break from the heavy talk."

"Yeah. Me too. Thank you, Steve. For the chance."

Steve shrugs and shoots him a crooked grin. "Yeah, well, ruin this a second time and Robin will rip you to shreds on live TV, probably."

There's more to talk about. More hurts to heal and things to discuss, Steve knows. And maybe after all the talking, they'll learn they've changed too much to even be friends. But that'll be okay, because if that's how it goes, it'll be because they talked it out instead of screaming at each other in a living room.

If they've changed too much, this time, it'll end gently.

It doesn't stop Steve from letting a little bit of hope in. That this won't end, that they can find a way to be in each other's lives again.

As friends, or more.

[waitineedaname]

I just finished the fourth mdzs novel and I've gotta say this one has to be the wildest in terms of tone whiplash. You look at the book cover and it's very cute, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji hanging out in a tree with their bunnies, being sweet and flirty. You open the book and the first hundred pages are Wei Wuxian being incredibly violent and vindictive in graphic ways, and then having a grief-induced mental health crisis that results in hundreds if not thousands of people's deaths, including his own. You flip to the end of the book and he's flooding an inn because he and Lan Wangji are having sex in a bathtub. It's great.

[dilutedbeanibeans]

normal about these two

[symbologic]

Luffy vs. Zoro at Whiskey Peak

Unpopular opinion maybe, but the Luffy vs. Zoro clash in Whiskey Peak made sense for their characters. You could even argue that it was bound to happen, given their personalities.

Luffy likes the people who feed him. In the the face of their suffering, no matter who's responsible, he's too angry to concern himself with the reasons behind it. Zoro, on the other hand, prefers to handle things independently without saying much about it, especially if it means his crew gets to enjoy themselves a little longer

So it's not really surprising that Luffy would be blindsided by finding their hosts cut up by his swordsman, and that this would send him flying into a fit of rage. If he's never paused to listen to context or backstories before now, why would he start here? And of course, Zoro is not the type to back down from a challenge. He will match Luffy's energy and respond in kind

"But if Luffy were a good captain, he would have stopped to listen to Zoro's side of the story." Vivi tells him he's a bad captain two arcs later, precisely because of this kind of behavior. It clearly leaves an impression on Luffy, and we see he's grown into a better leader by the time he reaches Amazon Lily. (Almost as if Oda set all this development up on purpose with Whiskey Peak. HMM...)

"But Luffy refused to believe that Nami had killed Usopp in Arlong Park." This argument is like comparing apples to oranges. Nami did not actually do the murder that Johnny and Yosaku claim they saw, nor is she capable of killing people in cold blood. Of course Luffy isn't going to believe Nami killed Usopp based on hearsay. But in Whiskey Peak, Zoro did cut those bounty hunters. Luffy sees the evidence for himself, and he knows the carnage Zoro is capable of inflicting once he puts his mind to it. There is no denying what happened. Nothing other than Zoro saying "someone else did this" (or Nami knocking the soul out of him) was going to stop Luffy from going ballistic

"Why would Luffy fight so hard to recruit Zoro into his crew, firmly believing that he wasn't a bad person, only to later attack him because he believed Zoro was capable of harming 'innocent' people?" Because the fight was never about whether their hosts were "innocent" or not, not really. Their fight was about what Zoro did (assaulting the ones who fed them), and how those actions made Luffy feel (mad as hell, because these people FED THEM) For Luffy, context did not actually matter at that moment in time because, for him, "they fed me" unequivocally means "they're my friend", full stop This is even shown again in Mocktown! Both when Luffy unquestioningly eats an apple from Doc Q, and when Bellamy buys Luffy a drink in Mocktown. In the first case, Luffy only lived because he was lucky. And in the second case, he assumes Bellamy is a good person despite all evidence to the contrary, only to have his face brutally smashed into the bartop by Bellamy. Luffy is shockingly bad at reading people who try to feed him.

Luffy has interpersonal conflicts with all the core members from East Blue at different times. The fight with Zoro is the only one instigated by Luffy. But surprisingly, their fight highlights their similarities instead of their differences. They still fight equally and work together against BW agents who try to interfere with their fight.

I think that's what Oda wanted to showcase with this scene.

In short, Luffy's initial anger stemmed from his protectiveness towards those who have fed him, while Zoro's actions were driven by his dedication to the crew and subsequent refusal to back down from Luffy's challenge. It was a clash resulting from miscommunication and misunderstanding, something that is not typically a problem for them — until it suddenly becomes one When all is said and done, they're both quick to forgive and forget. This, too, is fitting for both their characters. From that point onward, Zoro continues to demonstrate that Luffy's trust is not misplaced. And Luffy never, ever doubts Zoro again after this

[bmpmp3]

how did i not know there was an amnesia: memories musical..... an entire decade ago...................................................

[capn-twitchery]

too tired to coherent-ify my thoughts but there's a devastating link somewhere between twitch looking for immortality and also losing the majority of their life to being a red honey hive

they can't have been Twitch for much longer than 5 years or so, but everything before that is Gone!! and it didn't really belong to Twitch either, it belonged to whoever they were before

twitch as Twitch effectively has less time than everybody else bc they started existing in the middle of someone else's life,,,so they want unlimited time to make up for it

(whether they even know they've had less time than everyone else is a different conversation entirely)

[divinesouldariax]

Dorian was back with the people he had longed to return to for months, and he had never felt so alone in his life.

(oh we are real fucked up about this one, lads)

[bedtimegiraffe]

Bless whoever adds people's crimes to the Choices wiki. It makes it such a fun read. Like if you asked these characters to tell you two things about themselves, this is what you'd get.

Aerin Trivia:

Aerin is a name considered of Hebrew origin meaning "Enlightened".

His crimes include murder and kidnapping.

Valax Trivia:

She is shown on the cover of Blades of Light and Shadow, Book 2.

Her crimes include kidnapping, conspiracy and torture.

Nyra Trivia:

Her character model resembles Sonja Dormer from Crimes of Passion, Book 1.

Her crimes include treason, murder, and attempted murder.

Seriously, I strongly encourage you to imagine you're at some festival. Nia introduces you to Aerin before someone else gets her attention and she leaves. You ask Aerin to tell you about himself. He goes, "Well, my name is derived from an old word meaning 'enlightened.' Which becomes more interesting with the additional context that my crimes include murder and kidnapping." Then he just smiles at you because everyone in MC's party is a freak and he no longer realizes that's not how people talk to each other.

[slendermankin]

(Snippet from the Yggdrasil au)

I think Tim would be a very fun guy to be around if he just... started leaning into the fact that hes haunted.

[blueberry-gills]

...I need to go to bed or something

[raceispunk]

rules — shuffle your “on repeat playlist” and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people; indirectly tagged by @lunapascal

1. The Foundations of Decay - My Chemical Romance

2. Run Boy Run - Woodkid

3. Cemetery Drive - My Chemical Romance

4. The Bug Collector - Haley Heynderickx

5. GOSSIP - Måneskin (ft. Tom Morello)

6. Arsonist's Lullaby - Hozier

7. Me and the Devil - Soap&Skin

8. Trouble - Cage the Elephant

9. Puppet Loosely Strung - The Correspondents

10. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

Tags:

@ashestoashers @limnsaber @luthanraels-bignaturals @unleashed-bat @e-the-village-cryptid @exciting-username @oatshow

[tooquirkytolose]

I have a book rec for you: I think you’d really really like Unnatural Magic. It’s a great magical fantasy with absolutely glorious world building, I think you’d really like it!

I have read it!! Its really good i super enjoyed it, really funny how magic is just complicated math and also how incredibly horny the little dandy man was for the big buff orc troll lady.

Tbh their sections in the book were extremely horny either he's staring at her big buff body or she's like omg hes so small and delicate hes gonna be a perfect malewife

[lightningbig]

spotify ai is absolutely foul for this queue lineup