#remind me to never feel interested or get invested in wanting to know anyone. that's always where the problem starts. every fucking time.😐

[throwawayhero]

hi!! could you do a kirishima bf headcanons? i feel like nobody ever writes for my boy, thank you! 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Of course omg??? He doesn’t get the amount of love he deserves ong. One of the best characters imo, kill me if I'm wrong!! He’s been my favourite for YEARSSS and I will never get tired of him. Some of these are a bit random but I hope you enjoy!! ❤️

Eijirou!Kirishima who always walks to school and/or class with you. He’ll wait for as long as you need him to with little to no complaints (most of the time..)! He’ll just hang around in your dorm trying to look unsuspecting as he looks at your stuff while you rush to get ready. He especially loves to snoop through your trinkets.

“.. Hey, I didn’t know you still had this!”

“Neither did I..”

“Oh—“

Eijirou!Kirishima who actually takes care of his physical appearance/personal hygiene. He doesn't have a sociopathic 30 step skin care routine but don't be surprised when his bathroom drawer is full of hit or miss products that he's tried out. Will give tips about finding good products if asked about it. He always smells SO good. He also has hair products he uses to get the red dye to last longer.

"Hey, can I borrow this?"

"That made my skin super irritated, try this one."

Eijirou!Kirishima who always supports you and your hobbies, even if they only last a week. He's always up for being a test subject of sorts. Painting/drawing? He's ordering you top quality paints and pencils. Reading? Tell him about the characters, the drama, the romance, the plot twists, he's invested. Crochet/knitting? He's wearing the sweater you made him, even if it is a little bit itchy. Yoga? He bought matching yoga mats! He's ALWAYS supportive, now matter how extreme.

"Any other hobbies peaked your interest?"

"Rock climbing."

"..Sounds like fun!"

Eijirou!Kirishima who NEVER forgets to text you good morning/night. He forgot once and showed up to your dorm to apologise (You hadn't even woken up yet). Sometimes he sends little GIFs too.

'Good morning beautiful!! 💗💗💗'

Eijirou!Kirishima who has a highlight on instagram dedicated to pictures of you and things that remind him of you. He doesn't really post on social media, but when he does, 80% of the time it's about you. He also sends you a bunch of those lovey-dovey quotes from Facebook. His captions on photos are always so sweet.

'Spent the day Go-Karting with my beautiful girlfriend! Can't believe how lucky I am! #gokart #love #girlfriend'

Eijirou!Kirishima who is the KING of PDA, to an extent of course. He will kiss you anywhere, in front of anyone. Oh my GOD does this man know how to give good hugs. He's always holding your hand/wrist/finger no matter what you're doing. You could be on a walk, in a line, grocery shopping, or just sitting down together. He's always by your side :)

"..Can you let go of my hand so I can scan the groceries?"

"No but I'll help you!"

Eijirou!Kirishima who GUSHES about you to his friends. This man is head over heels and everyone knows it. He doesn't necessarily believe in soulmates but he does believe that you were the one he was meant to find. He gets this horribly happy look on his face when he thinks about a future with you that everyone can't help but laugh at. He talks about said future all the time.

"When do you want to get married?"

"..What?"

"I wanna know when to start editing my vows."

"..Editing??"

Eijirou!Kirishima who is a bit of a restless sleeper. And when I say restless, I truly mean it. This man will roll on top of you and just lay there, sprawling out and snoring happily. You have been and will continue to be kicked. One time you had woken up to him rolling off the bed.

"You slapped me in your sleep last night."

"Oops. You should've slapped me back!"

"I did."

Eijirou!Kirishima who goes all out on dates. He'll take you to a fancy restaurant and wear a suit and tie with his hair done nicely. He'll ask you to wear something pretty beforehand so that you know not to underdress. He arrives at your house/dorm with flowers and the biggest smile you'll ever see (besides your wedding day). He'll treat you like the princess you deserve!

"You're stunning, hun.. where would I be without you?"

[bogleech]

Ok but I have seen you talk about this so many times, even referencing it in your old cartoons, so I gotta ask - when and how did you fall in love with neopets, like that?

Wait, is it that obscure now? I didn't know a single person from its inception to roughly 2010 who didn't have a neopets account. It was the single biggest gaming-esque name on the internet for years. Celebrities casually mentioned playing it, it got mainstream marketing tie-ins, it had plush toys people waited in line to buy up and a TCG made by the same company as Magic the Gathering. It's not that I especially "fell in love with neopets" like it's a niche thing but that there was a time it was almost outselling Pokemon, so it's just another huge cultural phenomenon that was a big part of everyone's lives during my teens to twenties, and hits my special interest in creature design since it has THOUSANDS (beyond the pets alone) ranging in quality from extremely creative to just plain heinous. I personally only got invested in it when they introduced the mutant pets, though, because it started out having almost like a "rule" against making any pets that were "ugly." They'd joke about it as a prank for instance, and originally only featured the mutants as part of a storyline they never intended players to actually adopt. They even had a fake alternate version of the site with fake "adoptions coming soon" and somehow didn't anticipate the userbase genuinely wanting the slime creatures.

The Chia and Aisha were my favorites but mainly the chia because that kind of "scuzzy" creature was already my own design aesthetic, polar opposite of the site's established style and reminded me of if Jeff Goldblum got fused with a tardigrade instead of a fly:

Is that just me? I feel like the tardigrade similarity jumps right out but I think it was an accident and they were possibly actually thinking of the rotting giant from Nausicaa:

The fact that they intended its design to be unlovably ugly and were surprised anyone wanted it only made it more sympathetic. Eventually they made mutants available and I got fully invested into playing, at the time having to spend hours a day on their little flash games until I could afford a mutant after months of labor. But then a couple of years later they just abruptly decided they really didn't feel like having its design around anymore and "updated" it, which back then was automatic for all pets owned by all players with no going back:

It had unfortunately been fairly common that they'd just completely, totally redo a pet like this with no warning and no user poll to make sure it's what anyone wanted. You just had to pray they never did it to your favorites.

All the other mutants in that earlier image would also get completely changed or never released at all. They still kept some of the other "gross" mutants and would make even grosser, so that wasn't even part of the reasoning. Just the random whims of mad gods I guess. I think what killed the game for a lot of people was actually when they did this to basically everyone at once, standardizing almost all the pet artwork so they could wear clothes in their new dressup system. It wasn't as drastic as replacing a sludge guy with some kind of hairy leaf guy but it did eliminate hundreds of technically unique designs from the site, and I found someone else's examples they put together so I thankfully don't have to do it myself:

If anyone's not familiar enough with neopets or didn't figure that out from the last paragraph, the ones on the right are just recolors of the same exact art as all members of their species with added accessories (now wearable items) Players used to work hard to get pets they wanted based on their unique poses and personality, but you could only keep the original art for a small number of these. The customization feature kind of attracted a different new fandom, from what people say, but it never approached a fraction the site's peak, which is probably how the brand wound up getting sold to some NFT bros who aren't even involved in the site itself and supposedly never even spoken to its remaining staff outside some business emails? This is unrelated to the brief period it was bought by scientologists and the siterunners had to fight back against their propaganda leaking into it. I really didn't expect to turn this response into a mini article, I should really just make a thing on bogleech.com about it sometime. Some of my tumblr mutuals to this day are people I met through the neopets fandom and probably have equally lengthy memories/complaints.

[faetthorn]

Probably my only contribution to the Pathologic fandom

Some important words below, if you're a patho fan take the time to read them

TW: pedophilia, SA, grooming, racism, colonialism

So I got into pathologic in july and almost instantly got hit with a post about the allegations from back in 2021 against Nikolay Dybowski, game creator and founder of Ice Pick Lodge. He’s groomed several girls ages 15-18 and inclusively has used his position as a member of HSE University in Moscow to do so. 3 years on and people have all forgotten this and are happily cheering for the bachelor route like nothing ever happened 

Yes I know you all wanna forget abt the uncomfortable situations, after all "what can we do" right? I wish I could just pull a switch in my brain and forget too, but I'm a victim of SA and child grooming, and I can't play this game without remembering what its creator did. The worst part is that the characters mean a lot to me. I got into pathologic while suffering from ptsd related nightmares and Daniil, Artemy and Clara brought me a lot of joy and comfort. Even now they and some elements of patho’s story mean the world to me. It hurts to be constantly reminded that everyone is against you, no matter how much you appreciate their work, no matter how much time and money you put into doing it.

I'd properly join the fandom and start calling for a boycott and for these allegations to be discussed and reminded of again but I just know it'll never happen. I'd be ignored or get a thousand replies "oh but the employees, they have nothing to do with it!!" "it's just a game!" "it'll get you nowhere!" “age of consent is x y or z in this country!” "stop being a vindictive little bitch!" "*insert rape threat here*" I expect to receive 0 support on this post and I'll block anyone I need to. Just wanted to let this out of my chest even if nothing will change: Petitions don't work, they never did and they never will. Passivity and politeness never got ME shit, at least.

DOXA, the rus student newspaper investigating these allegations was raided by police (1, 2) and recently considered an undesirable organization by the government. The courts and police would never do anything about this and they’re clearly more invested in persecuting student groups that have even the most basic feminist goals. HSE University didn’t get involved in any libel suits so as far as we know Dybowski wasn’t even fired. Not only is he the creator and chief writer of the games but he's also the head of the studio. Spreading awareness and boycotting is the only way justice can be made (at least in a way non-russians can participate). If you’re considering playing pathologic i cannot recommend it and i don’t want to be the reason someone gives more money to Dybowski. You don’t need more harmful shit when you have 2 games, a dlc and wonderful fandom content the game would never make canon. Hell, PIRATE all the games if you really need to. When the bachelor route comes out the IPL employees will have already been paid for it. Also, let’s not forget that WE DON’T KNOW where the profits we give will go. They might go to CP, they might go to the rus army attacking Ukraine and occupying former USSR territory and Syria.  

I wonder why it's so easy for you all to rightfully call to boycott anything related to zionism without making excuses but then when it's a pedophile with countless cases of grooming and very probably rape you all stay quiet and do nothing just because it's your precious little interests. It's almost like it's all performative

In the same vein, there needs to be a discussion about how violently racist this game is because this art came from anger and sadness. I’m not indigenous but i’ve followed native activism for years and i wouldn’t have the beliefs i have today without the opinions of indigenous people. I know feeling betrayed by the art you use to cope with how horrible reality is is tough. Not only does this game have extremely racist stereotypes and portrays natives as a monolith, but it’s also unsurprisingly misogynistic in an extremely colonial way (need i remind you of Willow, the way the herb brides are dressed or the fixation with portraying steppe people as woman-sacrificing brutes). Not to mention the extreme cruelty of patho 2’s endings. Which is way more insulting when it’s directly tied via the in-game use of Buryat language and inspirations to the native peoples of Siberia who Russia colonized and whose culture is still actively repressed, at a time when the weight of colonization (environmental catastrophe, poverty, sexual violence and more) makes indigenous people commit suicide at a way higher rate than any other ethnicity in many countries, and this includes the native people of Siberia who this game “pays homage” to (1). This fandom in general needs to start being way more critical and checking their own racism too. And to any native patho fans i’m obviously not here to tell you how to feel abt patho’s racism

Well, there it is. I have no hope left to ask anyone to boycott the bachelor route or the other projects Dybowski's created but if this makes you think about the things you throw money at it’ll be something

Edit: I apparently need to clarify something since certain people have been pestering me about it. I'll keep standing behind the part where I say the profits (not the money used to pay the employees, the PROFITS) might go to CP and the rus army and I'll expand on why. The CP part is more than obvious, after all we're talking about a guy who has been sexually abusing underage girls since allegedly at least 2012 with full impunity. The army part might seem like a stretch but if it does to you there's things you need to understand. It should already be common knowledge that misogyny and sexual violence play a HUGE part in colonialism and in russian colonialism it's no different. Dybowski is a misogynistic, violent abuser (because YES csa is violence, always), with racist, pro-colonial views as seen in pathologic. It's a REAL RISK. No pro-Palestine person would ever buy something from an israeli with Dybowski's track record who has given absolutely no statements on the invasion on Palestine while said invasion is ongoing, so the same should apply to Russia. And let me repeat once again: we are not responsible for the IPL employees' well-being and payment. Dybowski is.

[starsreminisce]

The bonus chapters do provide context and throwbacks to the main books, and it's frustrating to think they wouldn't impact the overall story. After all, the ACOMAF bonus chapter cemented Nessian's relationship and added depth to their story. SJM excels at weaving these elements seamlessly. Therefore, it feels like a step backward to argue that Elain will face a choice when the bonus chapter clearly shows Azriel's feelings for her and his developing friendship with Gwyn.

Elain demonstrably showed interest in Azriel, but he rejected her. Rhys reminded Azriel that Elain and Lucien still have a bond, and Lucien has the right to defend it. Elain returned his necklace, which Azriel then gave to Gwyn.

Both ACOSF bonus chapters establish context. Azriel's chapter clarifies his sullen behavior at the solstice, and Gwyn starts calling him "Shadowsinger" after he reveals the title. Feyre's chapter explains their choice of the name Nyx for their son.

Therefore, it's confusing why SJM would regress Elain and Azriel's interactions. The bonus chapter clearly showed Azriel hurting Elain to the point of returning his gift. Additionally, it focused on his growing investment in Gwyn. Elain's book likely won't start with a love triangle involving Lucien and Azriel. The bonus chapter suggests Elain has already made her choice.

Ideally, Elain's book will explore her reasons for accepting Azriel's rejection and delve into her feelings for her true mate. Most importantly, we should see Elain stand up for herself against Azriel. This is the third time he's acted without considering her, similar to how Tomas motivated Nesta to overcome her fear.

ACOMAF Bonus Chapter:

He didn’t care. Didn’t give a shit as she rose up on her toes, her mouth nearing his— Pain exploded between his legs, knocking the breath from his chest as that gods- damned knee of hers indeed found its mark. Cassian staggered back, swearing viciously. She snorted, looking down at him as he fell on his ass into an armchair, clutching his stomach, trying to reorder his brain— “You’re all the same,” she said, imperious as the night and cold as the dawn. “Perhaps being an immortal makes you predictable.”

In ACOMAF:

I’d had one break from Cassian’s brutal training—just one morning, when he’d flown to the human realm to see if my sisters had heard from the queens and deliver another letter from Rhys to be sent to them. I assumed seeing Nesta went about as poorly as could be imagined, because my lesson the following morning was longer and harder than it’d been in previous days. I’d asked what, exactly, Nesta had said to him to get under his skin so easily. But Cassian had only snarled and told me to mind my own business, and that my family was full of bossy, know-it-all females.

In ACOSAF:

He didn’t know why the hell he cared. Why he’d bothered. Even from the start. Even after she’d kneed him in the balls that one afternoon at her father’s house.

ACOMAF Bonus Chapter:

No, she had not been with any male, Fae or human. Tomas had wanted to, and she . . . some part of her had known no future lay with him. Knew about his hateful father, and that he did nothing to prevent the man from beating his mother. She had barely let Tomas kiss her, and that day when she had ended it, he’d . . . She swallowed, shutting out the memory of what he’d said and done. The sound of her tearing dress. No—it hadn’t gone that far, but . . . The blind terror in those moments he’d tried, before she’d screamed and clawed her way free. And never told anyone. Something must have shown on her face, in her scent. Because his annoyance vanished—no, it shifted. Into something else, something . . . Rage. That’s what stilled Cassian’s face. Pure, burning rage.

In ACOSF:

Three days afterward, Nesta broke it off with Tomas. Enraged, he’d launched himself at her, pinning her against the enormous woodpile stacked along the barn wall. Spiteful whore, he’d growled. You think you’re better than me? Acting like a queen when you haven’t got shit. She’d never forget the sound of her dress tearing, the greed in his eyes as his hands pawed at her skirts, trying to raise them as he fumbled with the buckle on his belt.

[pluto-supremacy]

Hobie Brown headcanons: dating a gn!autistic!reader

➼These headcanons are based off some struggles I deal with myself as an autistic person, what my friends with autism face, and what i have seen and researched online. Autism is a spectrum and remember that everyone has different needs and levels of support, I just tried to include what i know in this post!

➼ Inspired by @hobie-enthusiast's fic QUIET AND EASE ! If you haven't read it you totally should! His writing is amazing and he has some of the best Hobie fics on here!

➼ No beta we die like uncle Aaron

➼No warnings here! Contains fluff

GIF doesn't belong to me! All credits to the original owner

Hobie is in tune with your needs, spidey-sense and all. He's pretty good at being able to predict when you're going to have a meltdown and will throw anyone out of the room to give you some space to calm down and work through it

Has ear defenders or headphones on him at all times and spare sets around his flat just for you

If you let him/want him to he will totally paint them for you, whatever you want

New safe food? He's stocked up like he's preparing for a blizzard

Never pressures you to try new foods or to 'get out of your comfort zone', but will encourage you if that is what you want

Safe food turned against you? He's boycotting it with you

"Luv I ain't ev'n like [food]"

Has invested in several weighted blankets of various weights

If you have sensory issues with clothing (tags, hate the feel of certain material, etc) but still want to steal his clothes, he will happily modify your favorite pieces of his so you can wear it. Hell, his whole closet even

Despite hating consistancy, he knows how important routine is to you and will throw that belief away in a heartbeat (just for you though)

Helps you with transitions, like giving ten minute warnings before you two go out, getting you a nice fluffy robe to make getting out of the shower easier, or writing out what you're doing for the day and when so you can mentally prepare yourelf

Will listen for hours about your special interest, even if you think he wouldn't care or like it. Hello Kitty? He's listening. Enbalming methods from the 1800's? Doesn't matter, you have his full attention and loves learning about whatever you love

If you're non-verbal, selectivly mute, or low-verbal, he finds other ways to help you communicate. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable and heard. 'Yes/No' buttons? You've got them. Flash cards with your needs? Got it on a clip and all so you can carry it around easier, and he helps you decorate them. Signing? Hobie's learning BSL now so he can understand you (and honestly loves signing with you)

Hobie has a huge fidget toy collection that you're welcome to take from at any time, no questions asked

New hyperfixation? He'll get you what you need to do it. Embroidary? He's already got needles and thread, you can practice on his clothes. Same with sewing, he'll teach you if you want. A new video game? He borrows the console needed just for you

He knows that he can get a little loud, especially when going out as spiderpunk. Hobie's mindful to keep his voice down around you and will remind anyone else if they're getting too loud

A/N: Might end up adding more to this in the future! Just wanted to finally post something and it's 4 am-

[the-monkeies-girl]

I have a few impossible questions for you! 😉

Who’s your favorite character from the POTA franchise?

And who’s your favorite for each movie?

Who’s your favorite to write for?

Which character comes the easiest to write for you? Which is the hardest?

Hope you’re having a great day!!

Screams into the void Only doing the reboot franchise rn, I'm working on watching the old ones lol.

Who’s your favorite character from the POTA franchise? Don't come @ me for this okay, I swear I have the most logical sound reasoning and anyone who thinks I'm going to say Noa owes me one penny. Blue Eyes. HEAR ME OUT. I know his screen time was remarkably short, and he really deserved more but he leaves me wanting to think about his characterization. About what he'd have been able to accomplish had he lived and taken the metaphorical throne from Caesar. I don't think it was unintentional, the fact that he looks more like Cornelia, where as Cornelius looks more like Caesar. Blue Eyes was Cornelia's son and Cornelius was Ceasar's, okay okay. It's apparent he's deeply thoughtful ( albeit a bit easy to swing to one radical side like he did with Koba, but I personally think he'd have overcome that once he got older and was more secure in his reasoning and thoughts ), he's kind to others, funny, understanding, he reserved intense judgement on humans until he was face to face with one ( and got pulled into the hatred by Koba. ) He has FLAWS. Like, turning his back against his Father's way by going with Koba to war, and then having to cope and deal with the consequences, and coming to the realization himself that his Father was right all along, and that Koba was wrong. Another good Flaw? He's oblivious in a lot of retrospectives. Lake's feeling for him? BAH, he has no IDEA. Even in War when Cornelia gets his attention to look at Lake? He's devoted to his FAMILY BABY. Another?! He's naïve because of his age, which brings me to my next point here:

HE REMINDS ME OF YOUNG CAESAR. Caesar wanted to know his place, never quite belonging even though he had a Human family unit, and he ultimately got the chance to do that with Rise. Blue Eyes was still so young, and had the chance to find his place, to know where he stood when he was on his own two feet and just... The limitless things he could have done really get me invested in his character when I start to think about it because would he have ruled like his Father, or would he have ruled with more juxtpositions from his Mother.

I mean, what could he have become? He had such great potential to rule with power and promised stability like Caesar wanted, but he also had the capability of being more introspective and in-tune with his emotions, more emotional in a lot of regards compared to Caesar himself. He was deeply loyal to his father, mother and brother. *Screams into a pillow* I feel like i just rambled and none of it made SENSE.

And who’s your favorite for each movie? Rise - Caesar. Dawn - Tie between Koba and Blue Eyes. War - Bad Ape. ( all jokes aside, I love him ) KIDDING, IT'S CAESAR baby. Kingdom - Noa ( Self explanatory, JUST LOOK AT HIM. Also, don't get me started because I will go into straight character analysis mode and I have not done that in SUCH A LONG TIME. Unless you guys wanted me to, I mean I could lol. Just ask. )

Who’s your favorite to write for?

I started in this fandom with Noa. He is my baby boy, I love him to the ends of the EARTH.

My favorite to write for though?

Heavy tie between Caesar and Noa in general.

Caesar's interesting in the aspects that I see a lot of my own self-reflection / ability to see the good in things in him.

Noa's interesting because I see a lot of my own self-loathing/deprecation in him, especially when he tears himself down with ideas that he is not as great as his father, nor will he ever be ( Something he ultimately comes to terms with before overCOMING ).

Which character comes the easiest to write for you? Which is the hardest?

Easiest - Definitely Caesar. Uhm, hello? I just really like to dally in details regarding him, and I feel like since he is genuinely an Ape of few words at times, it's so much fun to speckle in the detailing in his fics and headcanons to make up for loss of dialog.

Hardest - Uhmmmmm It's gotta be Koba right now. ( notice lack of fics for him lol. ) I want to get his characterization just right, I am a big stickler for them not being OOC because I know how that takes away from reading. I've been watching the movies, and reading the books though to get more of a sturdy basis for him so I can feel more confident in writing his character. <3 <3

[xfgpng]

𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 —

— : [nsfw ] pet names, edging, unprotected sex, face slapping + degrading

— : wc : 1.3k

it’s his fault. he only has himself to blame but no matter how many times he complains, he knows he’ll still give in to your every whim. you’re spoiled, a little bratty when you don’t get your way but he made you this way.

before you, gojo was single and had far too much money to blow. he was smart, he worked hard and invested a lot of it but he still had a black card that was unlimited and nothing to do. he already had everything he wanted and even that became boring.

and then he met you, a sweet young thing, just about 21 with a smile to die for. he would probably kill to keep that smile on your face, even with your pouty lips and wide eyes. you manipulated his feelings without even realising it.

or maybe you did and used that to your advantage. he knows you love him, you can have anyone you want, he knows he’s not the only man with money but he’s certainly the most dangerous.

“stop pouting, i’ll give you something to whine about” satoru warns. his hand that isn’t gripping the steering wheel is placed firmly on your upper thigh. he squeezes it for good measure but you know it’s mainly to ground him than to actually reprimand you.

he definitely had other, more effective ways to remind you who you really belonged to. not that he ever treated you like some kind of asset or his property. to him, you were worth more than all the money he had.

“i don’t understand why you’re so upset” you roll your eyes, “he’s just a friend and he was having a small little get together”

“i don’t care if you have friends or what their genders are” he clenches his jaw. he would never try to control you like that. he respected you far more than he cared about his ego. “i see the way that fucker looks at you y/n”

you scoff, crossing your arms and staring out the tinted window. deep down, you knew he was right but you wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. he ignores you for now but his hand remains in place and you don’t want to remove it anyway.

satoru doesn’t say anything when you arrive him but he opens the door for you. he takes your purse and helps you out your uncomfortable stilettos. he makes no comments like he usually does, teasing you about wanting to wear them despite always complaining and it’s slightly jarring but you don’t want to break the silence.

he walks into the large kitchen, getting a glass for his whiskey and a glass of wine for you. he looks up at you and you sigh, walking over to the island to sit down. you can tell he’s still upset and as ridiculous as you think it is, you know he’s right.

“satoru, i’m sorry” you frown, way too needy for his attention to keep up your bad attitude.

“i’m sure you are baby” he says dryly but at least he’s turned his body towards you. he’s got his laptop open with work he still needs to finish and you don’t like to disturb him when he’s busy.

“i’m going to shower” you say, finishing your wine before placing a gentle kiss on his hand. his lip twitches like he wants to smile but he doesn’t acknowledge you.

he could be just as stubborn as you were and it’s why you were a made for each other. the thought has you laughing to yourself as you slide off your pretty dress and head into the on suite bathroom.

you enjoyed relaxing in the bath but you were more interested in finally getting to spend time with your pouty boyfriend.

“y/n?” he calls once he’s finished off whatever he had been reading through. you’ve already changed into your nightgown, a soft and silky short little cream nightie that he gifted you for your 1 year anniversary. it was your favourite piece and he knew you would wear it on purpose.

“are you done?” you ask, standing up from your vanity as he steps behind you to wrap his strong arms around your body. he smells like his favourite whiskey and his signature cologne you’re so obsessed with.

“hm” he nods, kissing your bare shoulder.

“still ignoring me?” you ask

you feel him smile against your shoulder, lips trailing soft kisses towards your jaw. you know this is all a facade and he had plans to ruin you like he always did.

“come” he says gently, taking your hand in his and leading you to the large floor to ceiling windows. he’s drawn the curtains in your bedroom so you get a perfect view of the city lights. tokyo really was so beautiful.

“it’s always so beautiful” you say in awe, starring down at the twinkling lights but he’s only focused on you and how breathtaking you look.

he can barely keep his hands off you, leaning his body against you as he wraps his arms around your waist again.

“fuck baby” satoru groans, “you smell so good”

you can’t help the smile, biting your lip as he bites down along your neck. he can’t help but indulge himself, as much as he wants to take his time, he has all the time in the world any other day and today wasn’t about taking it slow.

he pushes your face against the window, grinning when he realises you’ve already removed your makeup.

“don’t be so mean” you say, trying to tease him as you purposely sway your hips for him. you always knew how to rile him up.

he slaps your ass hard, grabbing onto your skin. he grinds against your clothed pussy and he enjoys the way you gasp, biting your lip hard.

you wanted him but you knew better than to beg, he was in control and you were going to take everything he had to give you.

he doesn’t give you a warning or any time to adjust, thrusting his cock into you hard and fast. the initial stretch always shocks you

“that’s it baby, fuck” he grunts, “this is what you wanted, isn’t it whore?”

you moan louder, hands placed flat against the glass window. the thought of people across the building seeing you like this made you clench harder around him.

“yeah you did” he scoffs, slapping your cheek before grabbing your jaw, “filthy slut”

“for you” you moan, squeezing your eyes shut tightly

“better be” he grins, grip on your hips tightening as he fucks into you harder. your cheek stings from the slap but you knew your safe word and you still felt perfectly fine to continue.

“i’m close” you whine, “please”

“yeah?” he stops moving, bringing his hand up to wrap around your neck, “wanna cum?”

“satoru!” you gasp, eyes widening when he won’t let you move on your own. your orgasm ripped away from you almost as fast as it was coming.

“that’s my name baby” he smirks, “what’s wrong?”

he likes watching you pout, eyes tearing up from frustration. you’re so pretty, even like this and he can’t get enough of you even if he wanted to.

“please” you whine, pushing your hips back as much as you can with his tight grip and he slaps your ass hard.

“please what?” he raises a brow, “you can do better than that can’t you?”

“please toru, i wanna cum” you moan, “please, need you”

he grins and begins grinding his hips, his cock pressing right up against your sweet spot but he doesn’t move any faster than that. he was going to take his time until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“we’re gonna restart” he tells you, “slowly, don’t rush”

“we’ve got all night” he kisses your temple

[donnerpartyofone]

I don't know if I can completely articulate this so I'm kind of just piecing this together as I go, but it feels like a major component of right-leaning social attitudes is just contrarianism. I notice this whenever a popular musician becomes controversial for whatever reason--bigotry, stupidity, or maybe they just turned out to be a dick--and suddenly that artist enjoys a fresh burst of interest within the kinda rationalist, Nietzschean, libertarian-flavored neighborhoods of tumblr. I have an old friend (and actual old person) who really enjoys the performance of being a right wing asshole, even though if you get to know him he's really pretty liberal in most ways; he was an old time New Yorker and never had a nice thought about Trump, actually he was mortified when Trump became the republican candidate, but once he realized how much Trump pissed everyone off then suddenly that was his guy. He also tried to convince me that Halliburton was secretly this super responsible environmental protector, I couldn't possibly repeat what his justification was--and he really had no personal investment in environmentalism or the war in Iraq or anything, he just wanted me to feel like Halliburton was the victim of pinko lefty ignorance and that anyone who doesn't like Dick Cheney is just being a pretentious stick in the mud. I was reminded of this exchange during my brief experiment with following a bunch of tumblr people from the opposite side of the sociopolitical tracks, which more or less ended with a guy asserting that plastic pollution doesn't do any real environmental or biological damage and all the concern about it is just a typical liberal scam. And it's both true that the effects of e.g. microplastics aren't that well understood AND that recent studies have linked them to liver stress, cardiac events, and a bunch of other bad stuff...but setting that aside, I don't think it makes you a stupid hippie if you feel concerned about a relatively new phenomenon involving a continuous buildup of inorganic and essentially permanent material inside your organs. Even if you don't understand what the risks are now, I don't think it's dumb to wonder about them.

I don't know how I want to summarize this, I guess it's like a combination of a) the pleasure of pissing people off in general and b) being averse to any line of thinking that involves ethical cautions and self-control. And I mean, some amount of tire-kicking is good. It's good to have to check yourself, to notice if you're making a reasoned judgment or if you're just having a habitual emotional reaction. I think contrarians can serve a real social purpose in that dimension. But there also seems to be this urge to contradict just the basic idea that you should ever have to exercise some discipline or forego your own pleasure in the service of something more important. I think that's the fundamental thing a lot of these guys are responding to. I hear them make this diagnosis sometimes that boils down to "Don't listen to the lefties, they just want life to be hard for no reason," and that just sounds really desperate to me.

[miru667]

How do you manage to stay in a fandom for so long? I'm always mario jumping from fandom to fandom every 3-6 months

Oh, so many reasons. I think I've answered this before but in a much more concise way so idk what happened here when I tried to answer again from scratch but uhhh I wrote a lot lol?? Long ramble time. 😂

I found this fandom at a point in my life when I really emotionally needed it, so I got really attached to it. I stayed because of the friends I've made in it and because of the OCs I got invested in, both mine and other people's, and every so often something invigorated my interest like a new roleplay I got to join or new concept art that got discovered.

I'm also just a really dedicated person (for better or worse) and I still have ideas that I want to get out there creatively. I don't get a lot of free time, and I rarely have energy for hobbies after work so my time passes slowly in the sense that I may still be in the middle of appreciating a thing, meanwhile everyone else has already sped through and processed it and moved on.

So I've gotta be really careful about choosing what to spend my limited time and energy on. It sometimes takes me a whole month to draw a piece of art that I'm proud of. It would be a huge waste of my time to spend so much energy on a fandom that after 3 months I think I might not care about anymore.

And like, if it's going to take me a month to draw 1 thing, what am I going to choose? Fanart of a character from a show that I just finished that I might possibly move on from in 3 months? Or art of my darling Audrey OC that I've been developing for years and whom I know will always bring me joy for the rest of my life? It's not a hard choice! Like I'm sure it's obvious by now but I really love my oc. It's gotten to the point that I look for her in every media I consume. I like characters because they remind me of her, and I like plots because they remind me of her. When I watch a movie and end up loving it, I'm not going to be drawing fanart for that movie, I'm more likely going to be drawing Audrey Grace in some way that's consciously or subconsciously inspired by that movie. I'm sure other people with beloved ocs can relate to that, too.

Back to media consumption: I'm constantly watching new things, shows, movies, letsplays, and I'm able to love them just fine, but I never participate in their fandoms (unless you count reblogging fanart as participation. I personally don't). I just don't feel motivated to and I feel like it's unnecessary. I shouldn't need to prove anything. You can appreciate media without engaging in fandom. In fact, I encourage it, because a lot of what I see in fandoms these days is just stressful, at least to me. And I don't want that stress. I'm much happier as a person when I don't have to read other people's opinions, discourse and drama over some show's themes or ships or whatever. I can just quietly revel in my own enjoyment of the show without being tainted by anything else, and my love for it is not any less valid than the person who's livetweeting their loud emotions while watching the same show and putting out fanart 1 hour after every episode. Bless them, though.

And I guess that's mostly what I do these days with the Onceler fandom, too. Appreciating it more quietly these days, I mean. It's just that...I have a fandom related oc so I draw her. And I have friends here so we do stuff together and we reference fandom inside jokes no matter what activity we're doing. If I encounter art that deeply moves me personally, I reblog it, just like I reblog art for other media on my sideblog. When anyone has a fandom history related question, I'm eager to answer because I don't want the past to be misrepresented or misunderstood. And also, since it's been over a decade, this fandom has long ago become my daily normal. I can do whatever I like but I can't really "leave" this fandom unless I delete all my social media and cut off all my online friends. And delete my memories of the past 12 years of my life as well. Just become a completely different person.

So I guess I can reverse the sentiment: I can't relate to people who hop fandoms every 3 to 6 months. 😭 All the power to you, but that's just not the way I happen to live my life, nor the way I engage with the media I consume! The Once-ler fandom was the one exception. It was special.

But who knows, anything can happen in the future. I'm not so proud that I'm purposely blocking myself from looking at other fandoms or anything. I just go with the flow! Right now I'm slowly making my way through jjba, an omori playthrough, a Plague Tale playthrough, and urusei yatsura season 2 (the new anime). Probably nothing will come out of any it except for a bunch of Audrey inspos, but again, who knows. XD I'm also going to an idkhow concert soon, and I've bought merch from their store already. Does that count as participating in a fandom? Maybe not. But now that I think of it, even if I "join" another fandom, it doesn't necessarily mean I'd leave the onceler fandom either, so maybe it wouldn't matter haha.

Thank you for the ask and thank you to anyone who's read my entire answer!

[slickchickchocolatier]

Hey! Its my first time sending an ask hehe~ I just wanted to say that you’re such an amazing writer and your series are just sooooo good!!! 😍😍😍 I started getting into your account when I came across the smau for MRE and HHP and I gotta say, you got me hooked so bad onto Heethan that I end up loving all your Hee-leads so far! I’m so invested in HHP, SE7EN, DT and now TO! I’m honestly so excited to read a new chapter everytime you post hahaha! 🤭🤭

The main reason I wanted to send you this is cuz I’ve been having super stressful and bad days these past few days and its mainly cuz its my final year in college, final semester and final week actually 😅 and there’s just like sooo many final preparations needed to be done for my big final year project (having my big presentation today! soooo nervous) and its just been too much and too overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother anyone with my anxiousness so I’ve been keeping it all to myself and having slight panic attacks and just started having random breakdowns as I complete my assignments. Reading your series, whether its new chapters or just rereading older ones have given me comfort, like I really felt alone but its like Heethan, Heelel and the Heebros have become my comfort characters. It’s just been so overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother my family with it, I only have one other friend that I trust with my whole life but rarely see her, we’re all busy and I just felt like I’m falling behind in everything. Even though the Hee-leads might be like crazy obsessed with the reader, its like I really needed them in my life just to have someone to drop everything just to hold and comfort me anytime life becomes too much for me. I’m actually crying while writing this to you hahaha… it just feels like everyone around me is moving so fast and I’m stuck at the back picking myself up just because I feel so overwhelmed and anxious easily. Turning 20 this year is another thing that has me feeling afraid of adulthood, my mum is pressuring me into getting a job immediately once I graduate but I just feel like I’m not ready, or I’m just not ready to give up my teenage freedom and socialise professionally. Being such an introvert and shy and always thinking I’m just dumb and cant do work without help has been holding me back from wanting to grow and enjoy this new chapter in life.

So sorry for this long ass rant but i just really needed to let you know how much your stories, your Hee-leads have been keeping me going. Excited for the next chapters of your series! Hope you’re having a great day❣️

Omg so....I LOVE THIS.....this is so heartwarming and thank you for sharing it with me. Also, thank you for discovering my blog so you can write this to me, bc as you may have figured, receiving asks are just....its so nice. its a nice and wonderful surprise to hear from readers interesting in my work, wanting to know more about the characters and so forth. I am just beyond touched that heethan, heelel, and heebrows have made their way into your heart and to provide you comfort. in fact, reading your message had reminded me of a piece that i had started to draft (it was originally supposed to be a part of one of the HHP chapters but i never went through with it) but i still had it in my folders so after i finished reading your message, I decided to go back and actually finish it and format it specifically for you as y/n. I hope you like it. <3

Heeseung's Message.....

MDNI18+ content below the line.

Warnings: mentions of losing loved ones, fears and worries about the future, smut, car smut, unprotected smut, some....just some sadness....its a very heartwarming and touching piece.

"What's wrong baby?"

Noting how silent you were in the car, right after he picked you up, Heeseung rubbed your thigh, gently shifting your skirt upwards as he softly slid his hand up and down, enveloping you with warmth and comfort. "Something on your mind pretty baby?"

Placing your hand on his, you grabbed hold semi-tightly, keeping your gaze out at the window. You were hesitant at first, noting that Heeseung had a busy schedule of his own, was on his way of finishing his last year in college, aiding his professors, and of course, there was you....picking you up from classes, dropping you off every morning, taking you wherever you needed to go. You appreciated it but the man had completely devoted his time to everything else, you felt it selfish to bring any matters up to him....feeling that whatever time he did have left within the evening, he should at least have it for himself.

"It's nothing." You sighed out.

Glancing over to you, he furrowed his brows and quickly shifted the wheel, stirring the car over to a nearby parking lot on one of the campus buildings.

"What are you....?" raising up in your seat, you looked around before turning your gaze over to Heeseung, who steered the wheel with one hand and in a smooth motion, parked the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt, his gaze meets with yours before he reaches up and places his hand behind your head, softly grabbing onto your hair as he leans in and rests his forehead against yours.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I wanna know. Tell me, y/n."

His eyes were wide and his expression was fierce with rage, however, before he further ventured off into a spiraling path of unhinged presumptions, you reached up and latched your fingers onto his collar, placing a dainty kiss on his lips. "Its not that....I promise nothing like that happened."

Raising his brows and tilting his head, he releases the gentle grip he had on your hair, and replaced it with a soft, petting motion. "Then why are you being so quiet? You seem upset, what is it?"

Looking down at the console for just a second, you raise your sights once more to meet his and began talking.

".....Are you ever scared about the future, Heeseung?"

His face was taken slightly aback as he raised both brows and looked at you with an intent look.

"Is that what this is about? Are you feeling overwhelmed about moving?"

Shaking your head, you looked down once more as you shyly clarified. "Nooo.....its not just that....its more..."

"Like what baby?"

"Like....after the moving.....finishing college, being in an unfamiliar country, not knowing anybody, making new friends, meeting your family, being apart from mine, learning a new language, finding a job after college, and what if I have to do more college? Or ...." pausing, you caught yourself drifting in verbal thought.

"Or....?" He draws out as he bids you to finish your statement.

"Or........what if....what if something happens and we........you know.....what if we just...."

Squinting his eyes slightly, his expression looked a little irked as he rolled his tongue in his mouth. "That's never going to happen y/n. You know that."

"Yeah but....."

"But what?" Slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes for a second, tilted his chin down, and lifted his lids to expose a rather stern and rather angry look. Yet the moment he saw that your eyes began to glisten, shining like diamonds as the tears started to build up, you looked down once more, unable to look him square in the eye as you felt the first tear break free and drip down on the leather padding of the console.

Watching as you faintly sobbed, he nearly felt his heart break into two. He gasped out a faint breath as he reached over with his other hand and cupped your face, no longer expressing a look of annoyance.

"Hey......why? What's making you think that way? Am I not showing you enough love? You know whatever it is you want, all you have to do is tell me and I'll make it happen."

"Its not that i just........there's just some things we can't predict about the future Heeseung......what if some day......what if you stop loving me......or worse.....what if something happens and I no longer have you? What if....just.......you never know.....is it wrong for me to hope for the best, but expect the worse? Because...you know that life can be so unfair some times....and I....I....I'm scared because....I dont even know....what I'm scared of sometimes. I wake up every single morning not even knowing how to live life because there's so many things that I think about....so many things that are thrown at me all at once and I just.....I feel like sometimes......I might fail......I feel like sometimes.....I will let you down.......I feel like its not the world, its me.........its me that's broken, not you or anyone else."

You gasped out tears and soft cries as you spoke straight from the heart. For the first time, Heeseung had sincerely considered if going to Korea was the best option, at least just for a second before he reminded himself of the future that he had waiting for him.....a future that would allow him to continue to keep you....safe....and with him.

Shifting his sights around on the floor bed of the car, his thumbs stroke your cheeks, wiping away the continuous flow of tears that were now coming down harder than before. Gulping down a hard swallow, he turns back to face you.

"Baby.........look at me....please look at me."

Looking up into his gaze, your eyes red, swollen, with eyelashes drenched and your face stained with wet trails of all your fears leaving their mark. With a soft smile, he calmly speaks.

"You're right.....that is tough. There's a lot that we can't control in the future....its precarious, and we're literally just pawns on the board of this silly game called life, where God and the universe are taking turns making each move. It can be cruel, unfair, and tormenting. Its something that we can either overcome with great strife and hard work."

"But what happens if we work so hard and it.....it just doesnt work out? What if everything just falls apart Heeseung?"

"We wont know unless it happens y/n......the thing about the future, as much as we want it here in the present, so we can see and view what it has in store for us, thats....just not the way it works. That's not the way we work....we're not designed to know those things. We didn't become strong because we cheated, we became strong and survived because we, as humans, learned....the hard way."

Looking into his eyes, your vision started to become blurry all over as the next set of tears built up. Smiling as he continued to wipe your tears away, he continues.

"Y/n....for thousands of years, people have fallen, lost, and suffered at the creativity of the universe. Yet we never gave up......people had an urge to survive. Which is why at times, even when the entire world was on fire, times where a soldier never comes home, a woman loses her child, or when a doctor just doesnt have a cure.....we keep moving....we get back up and learn how to walk again. I can't sit here and tell you that I know that everything is going to be great.....I dont know. But what I do know.....is this...."

Shifting his hands down to your waist, he lifts you with his core strength as his abdominal muscles flexed under his shirt. Bringing you over onto his lap, he sat you down in a princess style as he cradled you against his chest.

"No matter what happens....I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there and I'm going to help you, just like you're going to help me. I'll never let anything happen to you....and.....you never have to worry about me not loving you .....noooooooo pretty baby......that's never going to happen, not loving you would be the worst offense against Heaven and humanity. As far as if anything were to happen to me...."

The moment Heeseung touched on that part of the subject, you sobbed uncontrollably against his neck.

"Heeeeeey, come on now. Nothing's even happen, why are you acting like that's a for sure thing?" he chuckles out as he kisses your forehead. "Listen..." Taking your hand in his, he continues.

"I'm not going anywhere......I'm not. I know this because I know what is living for me......you. I will never abandon you. Even if something did happen, you know i'm always going to be with you. You know how?"

Shaking your head, he brushes your hair away from your face.

"Moments like this baby. Every time we talk, touch, feel each other, love, eat, sleep, kiss, and when I fuck your brains out...." gripping onto your waist tightly, he presses his forehead against your own once more. "All the things we do, they never leave. So.......if there is ever a time where I am not physically here......you're always going to remember how i feel..." gliding his hand from your waist, he reaches down and gently trails it upwards under your skirt, his fingers reaching into your panties.

"You're going to remember my touch..." kissing your neck, he latches his mouth onto your soft spot under your ear, and rings the tip of his tongue around in slow circular motions.

"You're going to remember my scent...." with his free hand, he reaches behind your head and gently pushes your face inward, causing your nose to become burrowed in his thatch of dark long, shaggy hair, inhaling the scent of his cool-mint cologne and his shampoo.

"You'll also remember what I taste like...." placing a soft peck on the spot he was sucking on, he tilts his head up slightly and brings your head down to kiss him.

"And best of all......pretty baby.......you're going to remember what it feels like when I fuck you......when I love you." Shifting your body to face forward, your back completely spooned by his chest and groin as you both remained seated in the drivers side, he spreads your legs open by pushing our inner thighs apart. You were so caught up with the sensual four play, you hadn't realized that he tore off your panties. Unbuttoning your blouse, exposing your breasts, he shifts you up as he levels his length to align with your slit, before proceeding to enter inside you. Feeling full of his flesh, you moaned out as the overwhelming sense of pleasure hits you........taking you away from the abysmal depths of your fears and worries.

Steadying you in a reverse cowgirl position, filing you, his cock melts inside you as he begins thrusting slow and steady, picking up the pace as your walls become more moist.

"You feel me pretty baby?"

"Y-yes!"

"Yeah? You gonna remember me forever?"

"Y-yes...yes! He-Heeseung!"

"You gonna remember what this feels like?"

"Yes!"

"What does it feel like baby? Tell me."

"F-f......fe-feels......ssss......goood......soo....soo.goood....ugh!"

"Harder or faster baby?"

"ugh! both! please both!"

Thrusting repeatedly, your body falls limp as he holds you upright, with one arm wrapped around your waist, and his other hand shifting a grip between your neck and your exposed breast, he muffles your moans and screams with his mouth as he swallows every single bit of your precious tones.

"Gonna cum for me?"

"Y-ye.....yes!...yes.......ugh! He-Heeseung!"

"Yeah? You gonna cum because you're a good girl?"

"Mmm!mmmmmm....mmmhmmm!....ugh!"

"You my good girl?"

"Y....yes!!"

"Yeah you are.......now fucking cum on me. Let me feel it."

Adding more depth to each thrust, you gasped out your screams of pleasure as he rams his cock deep inside, separating new found walls and extracting the moisture out of your body. Reaching orgasm and releasing all over his member, your thighs shake relentlessly.

"Good girl.....my turn."

Cupping your lower tummy, he pushes in and feels his thick length as it slides in and out, he found it amusing how your sensitive body could take him like this, especially feeling it inside you as he was doing right now. Jacking his member deep inside you at a rapid and hard momentum, he finally reaches his moment and with one last punctured thrust, he bucks his hips upward as he shoves you down, mashing your bodies together as he releases inside and fills your body up.

Pulling your head back as he latches his mouth on your neck yet again, suckling as your body bounces rigorously from the tenacity of his performance.

Feeling the pleasure of his tainted love, you somehow were to understand his message clearly, all due to Heeseung extracting you from your fears......which he had done before, back when Samuel sent you his email......back when you and Heeseung came together for the first time.....the start of your guys story. Just as he did back then, he helped you to understand, that the reality of what life gives, is never necessarily the ending to your story. The more he kept pumping into you, the more you were reminded of that clarity. Yea sure, you still felt scared, but knowing that if at first you dont succeed....reach happiness.....or if things just dont work out, you can and should always, try-try again. A lesson you were always reminded of, all thanks to Heethan.

Authors note: Lol, sooooooo...yeah this original draft did have some smut....and i was going to take it out but it was too crucial for me to do so. I hope you dont mind that. But, this chapter was originally drafted, back a few months ago. I had this thought in my head, since I have only taken a few college courses, and am about to start back up on it, I was feeling so dreadful and felt too nervous about doing well. I want to succeed in reaching my educational goals....but what also kind of bugged me was....will i still find time to write? I love writing, truly do. Mainly because it brings other people joy and brings out their most inner feelings. I had so much on my mind that time that i had began drafting this, but as i was writing it, i left it unfinished bc honestly, when i drafted heethan's message.....literally its like his voice was telling me what to write....i felt better. like it was a nice little reminder....realistic...very rational....and honest...but still positive and holds truth. there's a lot of things we can't control, but we should never give up. Its okay to be scared and to worry, that's natural, and that is exactly why people such as myself are here, writing these chapters and stories for you all because i know that there is such a thing called 'life' and sometimes....we just need a break from it to refresh ourselves. I know you have alot on your plate, but dont worry because everything will be more than fine. We have to pace ourselves, work hard, but also rest, and play from time to time. Eat and drink well, and finish strong. finish college, work with your mother and teach her to work with you, if you dont get the job you really want, no big deal. no matter what job you get, if its one you dont want, nothing lasts forever. just think that whatever you do now, it is only making you more marketable for the dream goal you have. I hope you continue strong because while you do have alot on your plate, you've been slaying....you've been killing it! and that's a major accomplishment in itself, last of year of college? woohoo! finish strong!

So now i should apologize for responding with the longest post ever lol. but i really hope this makes you feel better. Reading your message had reminded me of this piece and i am so glad you sent it to me because....looking at it now...and actually finishing it......this was something that was meant to be published and shared. bc it holds an important message for all of us. <3

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[remy2fang]

The A.K.I. & F.A.N.G Thing in Street Fighter 6

Some people call it a ship. To me, I honestly don’t know what it is up to this day, so I just call it a dynamic. To me, ships have to be a two-way street, which A.K.I. and F.A.N.G’s relationship doesn’t have. A.K.I.’s infatuation for F.A.N.G is one-sided.

F.A.N.G is the father figure and A.K.I. is the adopted daughter. It is also the relationship between Master and Apprentice.

How did the most bizarre Street Fighter relationship started? I’ll explain based on what happened in Toxicity (which I read many times) and in AKI’s World Tour memory in SF6 (which I’ve played many times). I’ll try to keep this summary short and simple.

A.K.I. was a child living in the countryside and her parents work in the city. Her parents entrusted their relatives to take care of their child. A.K.I. didn’t get along with her relatives, so she ran away from them and head towards the city to find her parents. She eventually found them, but her parents didn’t make her feel at home. Eventually, A.K.I. became a street child and it is implied that the parents neglected her. This of course, would affected her psych. A.K.I. and other impoverished street children did all they can to survive, including stealing, mugging, and pickpocketing. And then A.K.I. and an older boy schemed a plan to blackmail child predators for money. First, let me get this out of the way. A.K.I. was never a child prostitute, nor was she ever trafficked. She only pretended to be one in order to have her accomplice record enough footage to blackmail her potential victims, frame them as pedophiles, report them to authorities, and scam money out of them. She didn’t have to do any physical contact with anyone. Nevertheless, she and her partner did this scheme because they need to survive their poverty stricken state. The plan failed when they tried it on F.A.N.G because the country’s database does not have his identity file. Plus, he’s not a creep and is not interested in that stuff. Nevertheless, he thought the plan was clever from both children.

Right after the scam didn’t work, A.K.I. actually became obsessed with F.A.N.G, at least that’s what she said from her World Tour memories for in-game SF6. What she saw was a man shrouded in darkness and she wanted to learn everything about him. So that means her infatuation started before she was raised by FANG. Later on, she saw him more as a father figure (Japanese dialogue made it more obvious), but FANG forbade her from calling him as such because their line of work might have them fight to the death (this was also based from FANG’s own tragic past). So AKI opted to call him “teacher” in Chinese, which also could mean “husband.” Basically, AKI reverted back to her crush phase but also weirdly acknowledging FANG as an adopted father.

Despite her strong feelings towards FANG, AKI is highly intelligent and is aware that FANG will not love her back in that manner, and she accepts that. Just FANG praising her would make her happy, and it doesn’t have to go any further than that. FYI, FANG may seem uncaring, but the first time he met kid AKI, he was actually reminded of himself when he had to deal with poverty, but his childhood was far more violent. He took her in because he saw that she has a strength that’s potentially greater than his and she would become his successor.

Thats the sum of it.

It’s never officially explained how A.K.I. manages to see F.A.N.G both as father and “husband.” But with fan speculation, there’s a belief that AKI suffers from abandonment and neglect due to past experiences with her family, so she puts all of her love into FANG. She knew there’s a possibility that he would abandon her if she’s not deemed useful, which I find it ironic because FANG already invested years of his life training and teaching AKI to be his next successor. Also she hates everyone, except FANG. Although not officially stated, this could be due to FANG’s principles being passed down to AKI. Life as an assassin, it’s a liability to have emotional attachment towards anyone, including towards FANG, which he himself learned the hard way. AKI seems to take this to heart, except she still loves her Master. Not really sure why she broke that rule for him, but maybe because she already formed attachments for him before the training started. Also, FANG has done so much for AKI after all, considering she had nothing when living on the streets. It’s really no wonder she loves him despite being discouraged to. And…there were signs that even FANG broke his principles for AKI, even though he may be unaware of it. There’s another reason why AKI hates everyone , but this is probably more of a stretch. Her life on the streets had her learn that everyone must fend for themselves and that the world is uncaring. And perhaps even her partner in crime on the streets was also just as uncaring and selfish as everyone else. Again, that’s probably a stretch.

How do I feel about the FANG and AKI dynamic? Admittedly, it’s still a complicated thing for me, even though I love it very much. On one hand, I always want them to have a wholesome adoptive father and daughter relationship, and that was long before the SF6 roster leak from June 2022. On the other hand, AKI’s crush mirrors my feelings for FANG, as it does for those who feel the same way about him. I think AKI is cute and funny for that. Which is ironic, because from 2022 and before I swore to myself that I would block any content that would put FANG and AKI in a creepy old man preying on a young girl relationship. But one of my circle of friends pointed out that FANG and AKI are not blood related, so there’s no incest involved. I didn’t know how to respond to that because all of us weren’t sure how the AKI/FANG was going to be like canonically when the game wasn’t even out yet. But also, I was a Fujoshi and still am because I’d rather have FANG be shipped with Bison or some other male character lol. But the more I learn about the dynamic with a few hints here and there before AKI’s dlc release, I became somewhat more open minded about it. A lot of it has to do with AKI pursuing FANG rather than the other way around. Again, I truly relate to how AKI feels about FANG. And there were early cute official art where FANG wanted to run away from her, so he doesn’t reciprocate his feelings towards her. Even up to this day, Capcom keeps on pumping cute art of AKI fangirling over FANG. So at this point, I’m totally fine with this kind of gag relationship because it works. In fact, I actually one my favorite things. It’s super entertaining, funny, and oddly endearing. A.K.I.’s intense love is problematic, but F.A.N.G rejects her advances so the awkward situations would not go any further. More reason to love F.A.N.G. He may be one of the most vile and evil villains of Street Fighter, but the man is not a creep and he has standards. But also, this dynamic works because both F.A.N.G and A.K.I. are villains. They are allowed to have this weird relationship because they’re not a beacon of purity. It would be a totally different story if they’re good guys. It would be really icky if they’re good guys. At least in AKI and FANG’s case, no actual intimacy is involved, even though they’re villains. It’s all only in AKI’s head lol. As long as F.A.N.G does not reciprocate, then I’m fine with that. Also, A.K.I. understands boundaries when she’s in the presence of her master, so she has to behave lol.

Most of the fanart I’ve seen of AKI & FANG depicted them in a canonical sense with an extra dose of cutesy, so I’m glad most fans understand the funny one-sided love dynamic from A.K.I. Yes, there are people who love this relationship between these two characters because they think it’s cute and funny. Very seldom do I see creepy art of the two. Thankfully it wasn’t a lot. A reciprocating FANG? Im not gonna judge those who like it, but I’ll be honest that I am not into that lol. But of course, the best fanarts are just simple parent and child, which was something I actually hoped for years before AKI’s reveal. I love cute and wholesome things the most. Testasase is my favorite artist as she perfectly depicts this dynamic. Her art truly speaks to me: https://x.com/testasase?s=21&t=iEGeYIIN_aP028wRnoVcUQ

It’s understandable that people don’t like this dynamic, or just A.K.I.’s part in it, because it goes against their moral code. Just to be clear, even though the canonical AKI and FANG dynamic is my current most favorite thing now, that does NOT mean I’m OK with the incest or adoptive family having romantic/sexual relationships with each other, even if they’re fictional. I still convulse whenever I see these kinds of subject matter. I skipped scenes from “House of the Dragon” (good show btw) because they disturbed me. AKI & FANG works for me because of the reasons I mentioned above. Otherwise, that kind of stuff gives me negative reactions.

But I will admit, my love for the AKI and FANG dynamic stems from the thought that FANG will not be forgotten. I have been a F.A.N.G girl for years. I love him very much, but it really hurts every time I try to find good content of him online because I always have to see slander about him. It’s always “FANG is the worst. FANG will never come back. FANG will be forgotten. I’m glad the new waifu is gonna replace him.” If AKI is indeed a FANG replacement, then I don’t want her to stop obsessing over him. Her always talking about him and admiring him was what keeps FANG in everyone’s memories. If AKI were to lose that, at least bring FANG back as a playable character. I’d like to see both F.A.N.G and A.K.I. playable in the same game. But if AKI were to forget about him and F.A.N.G doesn’t come back playable, then Street Fighter will be over for me. SF6 AKI will be her best rendition for me if future iterations make her stop talking about him. I’m fine with AKI being romantically involved with someone else like Rashid, Juri, Chun-Li, or whoever as long as she still highly admires and loves FANG as a father figure (no romantic feelings towards him). I want her to keep on talking about him in a respectable manner. It’s funny for me that I say this, because FANG is in SF6 in World Tour mode and has been receiving steady updates with his story. And he’ll surely have more coming right up based on the unused audio files. But not everyone plays World Tour mode. Most people play Fighting Ground and Online Ranked, so of course there’s a lot of people who still think FANG is not in the game, nor do they understand his importance to the story in SF6. And that is why I’m happy AKI still talks about him even when she fights online. I can’t speak for other fans of this dynamic, but that’s how I feel about it.

I dare say, AKI represents how I feel. She is a character that is made for me (not intentionally). I love her design, I love her personality, I love her play style, I love her backstory, I love her quirks, I love her umbrella hair, and I love her obsession about FANG. Not everyone can say the last bit, but that’s why A.K.I. is indeed a character made for me and those who too embrace that aspect of her. Atgrbread, whose AKI art was selected for the New Challengers screen for SF6, really really love the AKI and FANG dynamic. She is truly a mega A.K.I. fan and her winning spot in the game is well deserved. But back to A.K.I.’s character: I didn’t think an in-game character would love FANG so much like how I and other fans irl would. I never wished for such a character like AKI to exist because I was just fine with the BisonFANG fanon ship in the past. But Capcom went on and created AKI that way. And she clicked with me perfectly. To me, it’s beautiful that I see a character that genuinely loves FANG in canon. I don’t want that aspect of AKI to be taken away. I didn’t know I needed it until AKI was released. This is perhaps the only canon dynamic that I like more than the fanon. It’s usually the other way around for me!

Seeing how A.K.I. is right now, her obsession for F.A.N.G isn’t going away anytime soon. What we see now based on her World Tour Story, Arcade Mode, fighting voice lines, and win quotes, this will be her character for the entirety of SF6 lifespan. I’ll enjoy whatever time I have with this. But as I said many times, I’d be fine with AKI only loving FANG as a father figure. That’s what I always wanted. She doesn’t need to have an infatuation for him. As long as A.K.I. loves F.A.N.G in a pure and wholesome sense, she will always be perfect.

If you read this far, thanks for sticking around.

For more info on Toxicity, you can read my other post here:

https://www.tumblr.com/remy2fang/752286862919581696/toxicity-was-a-future-sneak-peak-of-the-sf6-story

Also, earlier I didn’t mention about how AKI was interested in FANG’s poison dagger in Toxicity. In this story, which is written from FANG’s point of view, had kid AKI wanting to go with FANG because she believed the dagger holds the power to change her life for the better. Oddly enough during AKI’s World Tour story, she made no mention about the dagger. From her point of view, she describes the time when she first met FANG, and she was only very interested in learning everything about FANG. But nothing about the dagger, even though it was made to be a big deal in Toxicity. I’m not sure why Capcom changed that plot, but I have a feeling they’re saving the dagger for a future story update. And I believe only F.A.N.G can talk about it. Though, that’s just my conjecture…but many of my conjectures often come true…

[askoverlordvox]

VOX give your opinion about AAAAALLLLLLL seraphs

we need it now

Oh, that pathetic lot? Fuck, yeah, let's bruise some egos!

Let's start at the figurative bottom. @ask-emily-em-emmy is kinda tied for the bottom of the seraphim hierarchy. She has a position, yeah, but it's one of service, beneath all the Winners, at their whims and mercy. Except, she's smart and charming and she's got the people of Heaven on her side in a way they'd never be on Sera's. I respect that she's aware of the power she wields, even if it takes a lot of pushing to get her to that point. She's kinda like Rosie and Cere, in an Overlord sense; she'll find a way to get what she wants, and everyone's gonna be willing to bend over backwards for her! 9/10, probably the best of the lot, if she ever decides to throw her weight around.

Now, the literal bottom, that's @seraphim-sarai. Stuck as an apprentice. Real shame, too; they're probably the most cutthroat in a way none of the others are. They're willing to hurt the ones they love to achieve their goals; that sort of blind Pride and ambition is something I saw a lot in... well, Val. Difference being: Sarai feels guilt. Probably the one thing that'll keep them from turning out like Val, too. Sometimes, it just takes a crumb of self-awareness. 8.5/10. Not gonna lie, though, I've been watching back some of their tapes. Bitch is living a telenovela and I am invested. Kinda rooting for Milan; I'm a sucker for the messy bitches.

There's a ton of seraphs, but which ones are interesting... ah! @seraphim-grace! Here's a bitch I wouldn't mind killing myself. While Sarai reminds me of the side of Val that made him a good Overlord, Grace reminds me of... everything else. Frankly, how anyone can find Heaven appealing knowing that she's there? Beyond fuckin' me! I will admit she's given me some interesting ideas for some horror and torture flicks we've got in production, so at least I'll profit off her. It'll pay for the therapy I'll need seeing what a chick Val is like. 2/10, how the fuck has she not been stripped down for parts?

And since the rotten apple doesn't fall far from the poisoned tree... @seraphim-adina. Honestly? I like this one. She's a lot like me: calculated, cruel, excellent at her chosen tasks... and a hopeless sap. Lucky for her, she didn't fall for a red radio bastard or get entranced by a... well... Lee was probably on the road to becoming something like Val, but steered onto a different course. 5/10. She's got a way to go before she can wield any true amount of power but she at least isn't afraid of what little power she does have.

Fuck, there's too many of these self important angels... wait, isn't there another little one... @seraphim-perach! Right, kinda peek in on her every now and again. Not much catches my eye; I think we've yet to see the juicy stuff from this one. But, for the scheming and excellent acting, I give her a solid 7/10. I see big things ahead for this one.

I'm capping it here with the top of the heap- the heap of shit. @ask-sera is the ringleader of this circus and the other seraphim's shortcomings are a direct reflect of her that she's too blind to see. Something I can admire about Charlie is that she doesn't, for a moment, misunderstand where the fuck she is. Sera's head is shoved so far up her own ass, I'm surprised she hasn't collapsed into a singularity. For someone so obsessed with purity and holiness, she's awfully blind to the dark filth surrounding her. But that's what Pride, Sloth, Wrath, and Greed can do to a person, when they refuse to acknowledge the Sin in their own heart. -10/10. If she was half the seraphim she thinks she is, she wouldn't be running a palace that harbors abusers.

Yeah, I'm a fucking Overlord in literal Hell, but even I have standards!

[flowering-thought]

Hey! I recently discovered your ocs and I love them very much <3 You're pretty good on making them feel like actual people! I know you have a lot on your plate right now so feel free to ignore this if want!! How would the brothers react to a darling who, when they confessed, wrote it off as a (cruel) joke because there's no way a handsome guy such as themselves likes them?

Hope you take care! I'm super invested on your children so I may or may not make some fanart of them 👉👈 hope it's okay?

Omg hi!! Oo I quite like your idea cause ngl I've done that too babe <3

A reminder that you're beautiful though <3

I'll give all the aggressive love ya need on those insecure days and so will the Kawahara's-

As for fanart feel free!! Ngl I love hearing people's ideas and if someone makes fanart I just melt jrksksnwkw

I hope you're having a good start to the new year!! So let's get with this-

Not double read so there might be spelling errors 🫠

Takeo then Daisuke then Makoto <3

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Takeo after some months of getting to know you in person, finally confessed. He decided to do it while you two were meeting for coffee.

He always wanted to make it more elaborate, maybe ask you out with some fancy sign or with an elaborate gift, or maybe even a treasure hunt! But somehow the sunlight hit you just right and as he sat across from you he couldn't help but feel like he'd burst if he didn't tell you how pretty you were.

"I really like you!" Was what he blurted out, a small blush reaching the tips of his ears. He felt the urge to smack his head on the table but decided it was now or never. His fingers fiddled with each other anxiously as he looked up to your slightly shocked expression.

"I really like you and would you maybe go on a date with me?" He asked. But you only sat there confused before a small chuckle left your lips, "Oh come on that's not even a funny joke Kawahara! You're way too handsome for someone like me!" You say, the slight twinge in your chest hurts but you really didn't take him seriously.

And Takeo felt his heart nearly explode. He wasn't expecting this kind of reaction. "I'm serious." He said, his tone becoming neutral as he stared right at you.

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever met both inside and out and I don't care what anyone says you're the only one I want. So I'm serious when I say that I like you and want to go out with you." He claimed. He felt so serious that you had completely froze.

Takeo reached one of his hands across the table to take one of yours and give it a squeeze, "Please give it some thought. I seriously want to be something more with you. This isn't a onetime thing and ever since I saw you I knew I wanted to ask you out.".

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Daisuke had many worries swirling through his head. He had gotten to know you for a bit before he was absolutely sure he couldn't live without you.

His head was filled with thoughts of dates and seeing new reactions and complimenting you. He couldn't wait to just hold you in his arms on a rainy day and read peacefully. He envisioned doing so many thing with you that would only prove you to be his.

So here you were, hanging at the bar, petting Mikan on your lap with a big smile on your face as you talked with Daisuke. Honestly Daisuke is east to talk to. He loves listening and when you ask him about a novel he's interested in for the week he goes on about something new he learned and how the plot is going and his eyes light up in a way you adore.

And he loved that. The way you listened to him with genuine interest, your hand holding your head and the soft gleam in your eye as you listened to him ramble. It wasn't till he went silent that you waved your hand in front of his face with a soft smile.

"Kawahara? You alright?" You ask, tilting your head out of habit as you question him.

"Would you be mine?" He asked, that moment of transparency in his emotions slipping out without thought. You reeled back a bit, unsure of what you heard. "What?"

Daisukes' eyes widened when he realized what he said and his hand went to grab the cloth he used to dry off the counter and hold it tight, "Well! Um! Would you maybe go out with me?" He asked, a little unsure as he repeated what he really meant.

You smiled awkwardly before fumbling with your hands, "Very funny, I don't think many would make a joke like that though.." You mumbled. Daisuke felt his grip on the towel tighten at your words.

A joke?? How could he ever joke about his feelings for you? He nearly felt himself cry before he hardened his resolve and looked you straight in the eye.

"I'm serious! I haven't felt like this for anyone before. You're the only one I've ever felt this way about. Please don't turn me down without thinking about it!"

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Makoto had been going to your bakery quite often. He loved the smell of sweets and warm fresh baked goods. The warmth of your bakery felt so lovely on a cold morning before work.

Sometimes he came after work just to get to see you a bit more. He always told himself that he was going to do more than make conversation with you.

But when he'd make his order and covers with you he'd get so lost in conversation that his mind couldn't think about anything else other than you're voice and the calm and lovely way you'd talk to him and make the effort to make him feel comfortable.

And he noticed that you didn't treat other customers the same. You talked with him more, laughed with him more, you actually seemed happy each time he came in.

And he thrived on that smile you gave him each and every time.

And one morning, when there was no one around and he saw your pretty lips curve into a smile, he knew it had to be then.

So he walked right up and as you asked him how his morning was and that you had made a new batch of his favorite sweets ready for him he stared right at you with the most serious expression and blurted out, "Would you go on a date with me?".

A minute od silence passed till he noticed your anxious look. The way your body nearly caved in on itself and how you almost looked lost for words. "Is this maybe a prank? Maybe one of your coworkers put you up to this?" You asked, almost looking like you'd tear up as you stood there.

Makoto nearly felt his heart break at your expression and frowned. He knew you had to like him? So did you really think that he would play such a horrible prank? That he disregarded your feelings to the point he'd do something so horrendous?

He almost wondered if your reaction was due to experence and nearly felt his blood boil till he realized he needed to come up with a reply.

So he calmed his heart best and shook his head.

"It's not. I really find you adorable and I was really hoping you'd give me a chance. I don't mind waiting for your answer and I come in every day so don't feel pressured to give me one until you're ready! But I'm serious when I say I want to get to know you better. If you give me a chance I promise I'll make it worth your time."

[cuppa-ale]

I really wish that I was more interested in things. More invested and curious w/o someone needing to show it to me directly. Right now, I feel like it's really difficult because no matter what I do, I feel empty and lonely and it feels like a self-perpetuating cycle.

I want to be enthusiastic and into things, but I feel like I'm going to be abandoned or shrugged off and I can't shake that lonely feeling that makes me feel sick. And yet I also know that I can't be part of anything or get other people interested if I'm not interested, but I feel so sick because of the loneliness that I don't even want to try for fear of hurting myself more, and it loops all around. I don't want to think this way. Sometimes I don't, but it always comes back.

I feel like I desperately want to ask for validation and attention, yet I feel dumb because of that- yet I would never begrudge anyone else for wanting the same. I actually wish that people were more upfront like that, because it's normal to want those things, and no one can know if you don't speak up. Sometimes people just don't know or are socially awkward, speaking from experience. And I'm often left wondering and guessing about what I can or can't do, so somebody being upfront would be so, so massively helpful.

And yet I also know why I try to keep most people at arms' length too- I feel so afraid that I can't trust them to not hurt or abandon me or someone else for liking a character or a ship or whatever that they don't. And that may sound dumb as hell (because it is) but that also makes it extremely hard to find community or camaraderie in fan or hobby circles in general. There is always, always a hint of doubt in my mind and I hate it. I don't want to go through that again. God, I don't want to go through that again.

And I worry that I don't have much to offer another person bc of how sincerely exhausted and hermited I am.

I feel overworked and overwhelmed in my daily life. Even if I could get past this anxiety, I barely have time for anything outside of manual labor, housekeeping, caretaking, and yet I still feel like a disappointment and that I could be doing more if my brain wasn't so fucked up.

I am so tired. And I feel like I really don't have an escape or outlet. I feel so mediocre and selfish because I want so badly for someone to hold me and pay attention to me and help me and remind me that I'm not a lost cause piece of trash. But I'm also very aware of the fact that nobody can fix me or make my problems go away. I feel like I'm not happy no matter what and that scares me.

I feel like it also doesn't even matter what I do or don't do because no one is paying attention. That's probably really stupid too, but that's the mindset I get sometimes. I don't like thinking that way either.

I don't want to do things for the sake of attention or validation because that's not the reason why I do them, and I never ever want that to be the reason why. And yet I know that's what I crave, and it always rears its ugly head.

I believe that this is part of why I like Crayzar and Tyetaynus so much- Tyetaynus has been implied to be obsessed with Crayzar for years, hunting him down and "making him pay" for leaving him- but meanwhile, Crayzar just seems to not give a shit about his brother, and I think there's so much angst and drama and shit you can pull from that it's nuts. And so I really really want to make art that explores that bc I find Tyetaynus to be a super cathartic character and I want to express that "grief of what never came to be", "all i wanted was you", "I'm going to make you hurt like you made me hurt", and anger and all of those emotions and I hope it comes through, but I may as well talk about it here bc it actually makes me feel sane.

So I try to redirect those feelings into art and characters and stories in general, because idk what else to do with them. But it worries me bc again, it makes it so, so difficult to just be chill and relax and feel like I can indulge or be curious about something bc I have this horrible, paranoid, looming feeling at all times that something is very wrong and that the something wrong is me and that everyone thinks it. (even if that's not the case. I fully believe that I suffer from paranoid delusions bc I've been affected by them so, so bad, only to find that it's unfounded or I'm just being dumb. I just want someone to tell me unequivocally at all times that everything is okay and I'm okay, and sometimes that's all I can think about.)

All I want to do is make stuff at the end of the day. The one thing I want to do above all else is make stuff, even if I have to find the time from being overworked and exhausted and sick. Even if I have to make myself sick while doing so, that is the very 1 one thing I want to do in this world before I leave it.

I want to work on the doll commission I started work on recently. I want to continue working on my OCs and preparations for my first original comic. I want to tell their stories. I want to draw weird and mushy and complicated ship art. I want to draw my brain wife. I want to draw silly self-inserts and whatever other trivial thing I can think of. I want to make gifts for my friends.

I want to keep going and I want to keep doing that no matter what. That's all I want to do. I have no choice. I want to make stuff and I want to share it and I want to keep doing that until I die, or until I no longer can.

[mejomonster]

Okay so while I am like. Weilan as a ship? In my top 3 epic romances of all time (that I've seen in a show personally). Which is Xena/Gabrielle, Spirk, and Weilan.

But also like when I watched the show my fondness for chu shuzhi and Guo changcheng came unexpectedly and intensely and I'd almost say I was more invested in a way. Just in the sense that like, their dynamic intrigued me a little bit more. Weilan are intense and epic and everything I expect Of a grand romance for the ages. And also mature and relatable and well acted (and very xena/gabrielle category). But chuguo? It's the "I'm a cannibal don't love me" "I'm a double agent why am I babysitting a human especially a cowardly weak one" "this coward I looked down on is the bravest kindest person alive I know" "this man has nothing no talent no achievement and he's so strong to still want to do this, to be this dedicated" "I haven't let myself feel since my brother died and now I have a person I'm just as afraid to lose" (which honestly the chu shuzhi and his brother and Xiao Guo parallels to shen wei and ye zun and Zhao yunlan are IMMENSE, and it's fascinating to look at weilan as similar to Lao chu and Xiao guo... how Zhao yunlan gets shen wei to connect and open up the way Xiao Guo gets Lao chu to, i could go on). It's the way chu shuzhi in some ways was the "ye zun" brother, he was the criminal, the one shen wei pardoned and made his employee (and in some ways no doubt saw it as what he wished he could've done with ye zun but Dixing was never letting ye zun out), he was the one who didn't even like his own people and Certainly didnt like humans. He was the one who only served one thing, driven by his brother (revenge, living because his brother would want it, following shen wei as he reminded chu shuzhi of his brother etc). And here he is, completely cut off (in a way shen wei isn't because shen wei does make a home on earth with humans at least at a distance as a teacher). And chu shuzhi gets close to Xiao Guo. Who brings him to his FAMILY, who sees him as family, who grabs hold of chu shuzhi and doesn't get scared and let go (could you imagine if anyone did that for ye zun how different things may have gone? See my fanfic what makes monsters stop devouring lol). Just like... the ENTIRE dynamic of chuguo interests me so much

So like. I'm reading the novel and just waiting to fall into the deep end of getting so into chuguo again I neglect the leads lol ToT

[bluesey-182]

this review for the ballad of songbirds and snakes is going to be critical so if you loved this book and don't want to see that critique then you are welcome to skip this post. im willing to have civil conversation and im also very willing to hear other points of views bc i love discussing books (and who knows! maybe someone could change my mind) BUT if you're at all going to be nasty and/or take it personally, then you will likely be blocked.

im gonna be so honest... the ballad of songbirds and snakes was a decent book. but. i don't think it actually added anything to the overall story. it added some perspective, maybe, to how snow became snow but it also felt... pointless? i think if I'm going to get a villain origin story, i want it to make me feel conflicted, or at least somewhat understanding to how the villain turned out that way. i want it to show me the gray area. but this book just... didn't do it for me. none of it was surprising. and also, from the beginning, i didn't overall care that much to know what made him this way, because the end result was still the same, and nothing happened to change that feeling for me. bc the only way snow was interesting was how he was as the villain. there was nothing beyond that to interest me, and i think that's what this book was trying to use as the draw. and moreover, to expand on my opinion that it didn't add to the series: i think it relied solely on easter eggs from the original trilogy to make you think it was adding anything. like "see, look at this reference i made! doesn't it remind you of the original books?" idk. like i said, it's a DECENT book on it's own. the writing is good, the story itself isn't bad--it just also gives you no reason to invest in the main character, and i think to some degree that's something that's supposed to draw you into a book. and like i mentioned, nothing surprised me. i saw all of it coming. i predicted every twist before it happened. which isn't always a bad thing! but i was also mostly underwhelmed when the twists DID happen. i was hesitant to read this book in the first place, hence why im only reading it now after the movie release bc my partner wants to see it, and honestly? im not feeling like i gained anything from the experience. i had fun reading it bc, again, it's written fairly well, but at the end of it, im just feeling.... meh.

(spoilers ahead in this paragraph only) i at first thought the only thing it added was why snow dislikes the mockingjays but the more i consider it, it didn't really even add that much either. he was just creeped out by them??? hmm.... (unless, and this might be reaching, he hated the mockingjays bc they showed him his true feelings about lucy??? there's a line about how he was getting tired of her music and maybe the fact that the mockingjays repeated music instead of voice, like the jabberjays (which he had no problem with) was like... his true feelings coming through? I'll have to sit with that and see what i think)

i will say, the parallels between characters in this book and the original trilogy are interesting and i will enjoy seeing those analyses but, again, i don't really feel like it added anything. i still think snow would have done the exact same things without them. because he never ACTUALLY cared about anyone at all, except for how he could use them. how they made him look.

if anyone is interested in a star rating, i gave it 3/5 bc the reading experience was relatively enjoyable, and the writing itself was good imo, and as a stand alone story it was not bad but also not excellent. it was all "just okay". and im trying to rate this as it's own story, not as part of of the whole. however, it being part of that whole is what makes me feel so let down