#rest in piece izzy hands

[magnusthepuppet]

i could spit out some rant about this fandom having the media literacy of a single-celled organism.

however, i think that we have enough negativity in this community regarding this season as it is. so instead, i’d like to say a few words regarding why this season was perfect to me.

queer people are told they’re nothing their entire lives. we are killed, harassed, and treated like pests. ofmd tells us that even if you’ve fucked up. even if you’ve been a bad person. even if you’re “broken”. you still deserve to be loved. ofmd fucking proves them wrong.

maybe everyone didn’t get the happy little ending y’all hoped for. maybe there was heartbreak. but goddamn you if everyone in this show wasn’t loved.

[springybreak]

I AM CRYING MORE THAN I HAVE EVERY CRIED IN MY LIKE LIKE JUST KILL ME TAKE ME INSTEAD I WORULD LITTERALLY RATEHR CHOSKE MYSELF THAN SEE THAT AGAIN IZZY WAS NY ONLY LOVE HES BOT GONE HES NOT DEAD IM SCREAMING HARDER THAN EVER HE WAS REALL TO ME HE WAS THE BEST PERSON ON THE ENTIRE SHWO AND I WAS HOPING FOR A HAPPY ENEDING WITH HIM AND SOMEINE HE LOVED BUT HE COULD NEVER LOVED ANYONE EVEN THO HE HAD SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE HE WAS NEVER APPRECIATED THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS VERR HAPPENED TO ME I FEEL SICK ID RATHER EVERYON EIN THE SHOW DIE AND HE STAY ED DODNT EVEN FUCKING APOLIGISE NOTHING HAPPEND STED GOT STABED TEICE AND NITGJNG HAPPENED BUT IZZY GETS SHOT GETS HIS LEG CUT OFF AND DIES AFTER ALL THAT IM GOING TI VOMIT BLOOD IM GOING TO SCREAM IM GONNA TO END MINE AND EVERYONES LIVES IM GOING TO MAKE SURE IZZY COMES BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STABS ED AND STEDE WHERE THEY SLEEP THERES NO WAY THEY GET A HAPPY ENDING AND HES IN THE GROUND NO ONE WAS EVEN SAD EXCEPT ME ME IM TGE SOBBING SCREAMING ONE IZZY I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO HIS AMAZING SONG WITHOUT CRYING HIM AND WEE JOHN TOGETRHR THEYLL NEVER GET TO DO THAT AGAIN NEVER AND IM SAT HERE NEVER TO EATCH THAT SHOW EVER IM SCREAMING AND CRYING PHLLING MY LIMBS OUT AND TEARING MY EYEBALLS INTO OBLIVION I WOLL NEVER FORGIVE YOU I WILL NEVER

[augustvandyne]

not a request necessarily i just love talking about addison

imagine if youre really unwell during a shift and addison finds out and goes to see you. when she gets there her heart aches. you’re her best fellow and also…

smaller little imagine

i’m here

Addison hadn’t seen you for a few hours. Ever since your surgery a while ago, she hasn’t seen you roaming the halls. She imagined you were just tired, as the two of you didn’t get much sleep last night after another surgery, which took all night.

And truth be told, after any surgery you usually crash for an hour or two - even just after a routine procedure. But she was getting worried now because it’s nearing five hours and you still haven’t reappeared.

Not to mention you missed breakfast with her, and from the people she’s spoken with, you haven’t left the on-call room you entered earlier.

Izzie offered to show her to the on-call room she spotted you entering earlier today. She stops in front of the door, “She should be in there.”

“Thank you, Dr. Stevens. I owe you,” Addison presses her lips together in a tight and anxious smile.

“It’s no problem, really,” Izzie nods vigorously. “I am just as worried about her as you are.”

Addison takes a deep breath and tries to reassure herself that nothing is wrong with you, but is unable to calm her nerves. The only person who is able to do that these days is you.

She furrows her eyes and prays you’re just sleeping as she opens the door with a creak. On the other side of the door is you laying in a fetal position on the bed. She tilts her head trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, and it comes to her when you let out a strangled cough.

Addison moves to sit on the end of the bed, her gentle hand coming to soothingly rub your shoulder.

“Mm,” You roll over towards her, your face coming to smoosh itself into her side. “I’m tired, Addie.”

“I see,” Addison nodded and ran her hand through your hair. It was damp with sweat and her suspicions came true when she turned her hand over to put on your forehead. “I think you’re sick, darling.”

“No,” You shake your head. “I can’t be. We have surgeries to get to. What time is it?”

“Uh..” Addison looks at her phone, seeing it’s about ten in the morning. “Five hours?”

“What?!” You try to sit up, but you begin to get dizzy so you have to lay back down.

“It’s okay, I promise,” Addison’s hands make their way back to your scalp.

“Just give me a few minutes,” One of your hands makes it to Addison’s thigh, and her other hand comes down to hold yours.

“No, you need to rest,” She squeezes your hand reassuringly.

You groan.

“Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling good?” Addison frowns down at you. “I would have let you sit a surgery out.”

“Because I felt much better earlier,” You promised. “My throat was a little sore, but now I feel like death. I don’t know if I can stand without passing out.”

“Well it’s a great thing you’re surrounded by doctors, now, isn’t it?” Addison moves a piece of your hair and tucks it behind your ear. “How about you just rest for a few more hours and we’ll reevaluate after.”

Addison moves to get up, but you attempt to pull her back, and she looks at you with her eyebrows raised.

“Please stay,” You cry softly. “Your skin is cold and I’m hot.”

“Okay,” Addison gives in, sliding under the covers beside you. “I’ll cancel my surgeries for the next few hours, okay? We’ll push them back.”

You lay your head on Addison’s chest so you can feel her heart beating - there’s a weird comfort to it - and her arms wrap around your shoulders to hold you against her.

“Wait we have that big surgery later—“ You try to sit up again, but Addison pulls you back to her chest.

“I don’t care,” Addison says. “If you need me here, I’m here.”

“Okay,” Your hand finds a sliver of skin that is exposed from her scrub top lifting, and it rests there.

Addison swallows nervously, trying to ignore how good your hand feels on hers as she pulls her phone out to text Callie to let her know to cancel all her surgeries.

Because her heart ached for you, and if you wanted or needed her, she would be there in a heartbeat.

[he-goes-down]

I'm gonna give it to you straight, i want smut. I want Izzy's face SAT ON by the reader.

That's it, thank you

You’re literally my twin omg - sorry if its dookie

Masterlist

Too Funky

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x reader

Warnings: oralF! Recieving

Second Person POV:

Izzy laid on the bed on his back, as you were by the closet searching for clothes the wear. The bed was quiet close to the closet so you would take an occasional seat on the edge laying your clothes next to each other and throwing the best ones in one pile and the second best back into the closet. Izzy continued to rest in his back, his head close the edge resting next to your thigh, looking up at you from an upside down point of view. He watched everything you did quietly and intently. He was normally like that before doing something mischievous, but you didn’t pay much attention to his actions before he did something. You stood up again, putting a few hangers back and then getting new ones out, before sitting back down again.

You gasped as felt Izzy’s nose brush against the fabric that clothed your heat. You immediately tried to stand up straight so that you wouldn’t suffocate him. But he had his hands firmly placed on your thighs holding you down. You had thought nearly sitting in his face was an accident, seemed like he planned this. “Izzy!” You shrieked, trying to hover over his face and not plant your self on him with your whole weight. The feelings of his nose so close to your heat made your area start to pool with wetness. You had finally gotten out of his grasped, turned on your heel and looked at him, he was still lying down with a pleading look on his face. His eyes desperate and filled with lust. You looked back at him with the same lust and desire, telling him that he could continue his plans. He took a hold of your thighs again from the back and dragged you closer to his face again. He maintained eye contact as he squeezed your thighs and soon you could only see his neck as his mouth and nose were hovering so close to your wet core. “Sit.” He spoke, the words hitting of your clothed pussy and sending shivering through you. A small whine escaped you in response to the feeling. You had never actually really sat on his face before, you had hovered and had him devour you in different positions, but you were scared of putting your whole weight on him. “Izzy! Fuck… please, what if I hurt you.” You spoke in concern but still having that teasing feeling of him underneath you. “ I don’t fucking care.” He said. God he was so fucking crazy for you, especially when he got close enough to taste you, all his morals and self control were out the window.

Izzy began to press his face up into you, and start kissing the fabric of your pants, making you whine and moan at the amazing feeling. But shit it wasn’t enough for him. He got out from under you and started to quickly rip off your pants and start to kiss your clit through laced panties. It still wasn’t enough, he wanted you to suffocate him, he didn’t care, he wanted to be gasping for air but only taste you in return. He went to lie on the bed properly in the middle and beckoned you over. You kissed eachother passionately while Izzy’s hands trailed to your hips and began to take off your panties. “Please…” he spoke between kisses. You stopped the kiss in order to know what he wanted so bad. “Please, baby, just fucking sit on my face.” He said it straight to the point, all the while his hand was about to explore your pussy. You whined at the feeling of him touching you as he begged to give you pleasure. “What if I hurt you?” You said with worry. “ I don’t fucking care.” He begged. If he was on death row you would be his last meal. You breathed a shaky exhale and agreed to try.

Every piece of clothing was off, your legs next to his head, hovering over his face. Feeling his hot breath on you made you shiver, making you even wetter. “Sit.” He commanded. You lowered your self on his face, your core muscles working as you didn’t put you full weight on him. His nose pressed against your clit, his mouth parted and he licked in between your folds. His tongue teased your soaking cunt. You felt his breath hard on you, in frustration. Then inhaling before taking your hips roughly and pulled you down, having you fully use his face like a chair. It set something off in him and he began to ravish you. Sucking, kissing, biting,licking. Getting more and more aggressive and desperate at eating you as you moaned his name loudly. “Izzy…” you moaned, trying to get a bit further from his face as he hadn’t taken a breath in ages. But he pulled you back down with even more force. “I said sit.” You heard him growl under you. The vibrations sending to your clit making your hips buck and grind on his face. He groaned as you grind on him, his whole heart and soul quivered with list hearing and feeling you as he pleased you, to him that was the only thing that mattered.

“Izzy… Fuck…” you moaned, your hips bucked as Izzy’s skillful tongue explored you inside, licking up all your wetness. Your clit grinding on his gorgeous nose. You clenched around his tongue as you got close, he groaned again, knowing he was the reason you were feeling bliss. “I’m- Izzy… I’m gonna cum… fuck.” You moaned louder. Shaking under Izzy’s strong hands and on his perfect face. You moved away from his face again as you shook, feeling your climax about to burst. He brought you back to him face, wanting you to cum on his mouth, he wanted to drown in your sweet taste. He continued to eat you out like it was his last meal on earth. You gripped his hair, riding out your orgasm on his face. “Izzy!” You moaned in ecstasy as you came all over his mouth and face. “Fuck…” you sighed as your body shook softly. Trying to get off his face as you finished, but only to be brought back to sit on him for another time and he licked and lapped your cum and slick, licking you clean.

You soon did get the chance to get off from his face, him gasping for air as a string of spit and wet connected his mouth to your cunt. Him looking up at you with eyes of a man that just saw heaven. Licking his lips as he sat up and you moved to sit on his lap.

“Fuck, I love you so much… you taste so fucking good.” He said as he held you to his chest and combed his fingers through your hair. Your heartbeat slowly as you drifted to a sleepy state.

[mistydeyes]

𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽!

click me for asks + requests :)

2k celebration! submit an au/prompt from the list now until halloween :)

requests: open! i am in uni tho so it takes me about 1-2 weeks to answer!

pairings status: closed atm!

rules for requests - i love when you send things 💌

note - message me or comment on any one of my works if you want to be added to a tag list :)

I usually post on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays

izzie's fic recommendations - updated daily!

some things about me :)

the basics: 21, she/her, from the us :)

i'm a second year pharmacy student! also minoring in justice, law, and society

along with writing, i also intern at a perfume company and work at as a pharmacy intern

so naturally my pharmacist series is my absolute favorite to write and research!

𝓶𝔀𝓲𝓲 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 - the full masterlist

don't know where to start? here's a few readers' favorites :) ❤️ - izzie’s favorites

💌 if you want to peek at all of my writings

S E R I E S

"your prescription is ready for pick-up" - 141 x pharmacist!reader

all of my works and our pharmacist reader

a panacea❤️ - 141 meets the cure to all their ailments

sick day visit - you prided yourself on never getting sick but the day has finally come. as you’re resting in your quarters, a certain group pays you a visit :)

fake hypochondriac ghost x reader (sequel to “a panacea”) - ghost goes to extreme lengths to see his favorite pharmacist

pain-killer fueled thoughts price x reader (sequel to “a panacea”) - price landed himself in the medic tent and his pain killers are making him tell the pharmacist his feelings.

keep your weapons hot and bodies hotter (18+) - stripper!141 x fem!reader (codename: Phoenix)❤️

hunk-o-mania 141 edition - feast your eyes on Delilah's Den's newest male dancers

playboy bunny phoenix edition - an unforeseen guest complicates the mission, now you have to get ready to act as the distraction on stage

the joys of civilian life - 141 x civilian!fem!reader

opposite occupations - while on leave, the boys each meet a civilian that makes their time deployed and defending their country worth it

family moments - 141 x fem!reader

little moments and little voices - precious moments you spend in your home with your husband and children :)

oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up - your husband leaves this world too early and now you have to pick up the pieces with your children

secrets and pointed fingers (requested!)❤️ - simon "ghost" riley

behind locked doors - when the 141 thinks you're the mole, they make sure to extract the information in whatever way possible

empty apologies and avoiding glances - when you return back to base, everything is far from normal

half empty glasses and unchanging perspectives - you try to run away from the trauma at the pub but with a glass in hand, simon finds you

O N E - S H O T S

odd hobbies - 141 x reader everyone has their own hobbies, yours are just unique to 141’s perspective

butterfly effect - 141 x fem!reader they say "a butterfly flaps its wings in the amazonian jungle, and subsequently a storm ravages half of europe." what once was a silly quote now has implications as one action leads to your death.

opposite of a meet cute❤️ - 141 x civilian!reader most people have a cute story as to how they met their significant other but yours is a little more eccentric

V I S U A L S + R A N D O M

random things in pockets and bags❤️ SERIES - what does the 141 carry on them when they’re on leave?

pt i- kyle “gaz” garrick

pt ii - simon "ghost" riley

pt iii - johnny "soap" mactavish

pt iv - john price

E X P L A I N S my series of explaining the various timeline's of the games and characters

simon "ghost" riley's backstory

which modern warfare game should i play first?

some writings from the inbox

medication mixup - the medic unknowingly prescribing you a penicillin has disastrous results due to your allergy

141’s dossier - see what the dossiers laswell gets at the end of mw 2019 looks like! + template

ghost’s doppelgänger - how does the 141 and los vaqueros react to you joining the team? their reactions are even better when you share an uncanny resemblance with ghost

running mascara - 141 x fem!reader harsh words are said and you try your best to run away from the cause. however, everyone needs to face the issue eventually and now the 141 is left to pick up the pieces. initially part of my 1k celebration but i added a sequel as it was highly requested! PART I and PART II

mw2 x reader - my ongoing series of pairing y'all up and writing a short lil blurb about how you met and your relationship

izzie’s 1K celebration! - closed now :) but feel free to look and see some of the prompts + how i answered them

𝓪𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓴𝓼

[heartfullofleeches]

Cinnamon Cream

Yan Couple [F+M] + G.N Reader

A.N: The winning pair from a poll I ran to satisfy my craving for edible partners. The duo are heavily implied to made out of the foods they represent as a heads up

-

"Care for another roll, Hun? Can't send you home on an empty stomach."

This woman was trying to kill you. The tinge of cinnamon fresh on your tongue, you couldn't fathom the consequence of taking on another pastry when you've only sampled the first. Your stomach being empty was the last of your concerns with how big it was. Your free hand lie flat on the table and even it was off by a few inches. She claimed to have made this batch smaller so you could finish the full dozen before you left which you found quite impossible. Prying the fork from your teeth, you let the woman down as best you could - praying to be let off with the rest to take home.

"No thank you, Mrs. Cinnabar - I haven't finished the first."

Her jovial demeanor is not lost as she takes the utensil off your hands. "You can drop the formalities, Love. We're all friends here. You'll have to forgive me for everything else. Izzy worked so hard on his part and I would hate for it to melt before you become addicted to us both."

The smell hits you before you take the bite she offers. No matter the date in time, she always smelled like a bakery. Mrs. Cinnabar has been your neighbor for about a year now following the disappearance of the last tenant not even a week before she and her partner moved in. A friendly face to all, she had taken a special liking to you when your paths finally crossed. Being next door neighbors was one reason, but she also told you she took an immediate interest to you similar to the instant attraction she felt towards her husband. He wasn't in the picture often, and so your company patched up the hole his absence left. With the combination of her loneliness and the rewards of free meals - who were you to say no when she asked for you to visit? Today's dessert was meant to be special and now you knew why.

Cheeks stuffed with pastry, the sweet bread takes up a new texture as you manage to scarf it all down. Rich, velvety cream with just a hint of vanilla; the cold, ceremonious blend to an otherwise warm and sticky treat. As the taste settles on your tongue, you could piece together traces of the ice cream mixed directly into the icing of the cinnamon roll - the delicate flavor you had trouble putting your finger on before. It certainly lived up to the hype set for it by the woman at your side. The scent of cinnamon is almost overpowering as Cinnabar sweeps her thumb up the corner of your sugar crusted lips; smile as sweet as the roll on your plate.

"Well, don't keep me waiting. You like it - don't you, Hun?"

"I-it's great... Wish I could give my compliments to your spouse."

Cinnabar peaks up in her seat; a chill running down your spine at the extend of her grin. For a brief moment she looks behind you. "Who said you couldn't?"

Leaning back in your seat, you come to find that the source of your chattering teeth is not her smile, but the hands of the man gripping the back of your chair. His glare is as icy as the frost radiating off him, your breath visible as you exhale in surprise. Stoic as a brick wall, his eyes show signs of satisfaction drifting over the missing forkful of the now frozen dessert. Ever so slow, he cleans the remaining crumbs off your face before joining his wife's side of the table. Perching an arm over her shoulder, he slides a metal ring into her breast pocket as she takes his hand.

"Y/n, Izzy. Izzy..." Cinnabar rests her head on his wrist. "knows all about you already. Nosy thing has listened in on all of our conversations before now and I'd say he adores your company as much I as I."

"but... I thought you said he was gone most of the day?"

"Oh, he is, Hun. Up in his study. Not too good at speaking with other humans. Specially cuties like yourself, isn't that right, Dear."

Izzy nods his head with a grunt - pale face just shy of a flush under the kitchen lighting.

"We both care about you so much, Hun. Watching you has opened so many doors for us so it's only fair we open ours to you. We've thought hard about how to introduce you to life with us, but the best start was showing you have well we work together. How good all of us could be for each other. I'll keep you warm in the winter, Izzy can cool you down in the summer. You...can just be you. We know this is a lot to take in now, but soon you'll see things our way."

Cinnabar retrieves a set of keys from her pocket, twirling the familiar ring round her finger. "We can talk more about this after you finish your dessert."

[maximwtf]

readder takes a bullet for izzy. need this fic asap. omfg. did u want finale yet???

Izzy x Reader

words: 1700

google docs pages: 3

warnings: ! S2E8 Spoilers (Kinda?) ! Gunshot wound, mentions of smoking and drinking, blood, death

opening: Ricky turns to fire his pistol and run, but you saw it coming and push Izzy out of the way. 

AN// Reader can be any gender! I can’t even lie, my angst loving heart was highkey excited for this one XD Thank you for the request, I love writing stuff like this !! This shall also heal my soul after watching ep8, I’m still a mess from it waaa

 “I’ll wait for you”

The long ferns dragged along the freshly stolen British navy coat as you made your way towards the shore with the rest of the crew. Your palm was around the handle of your sword, still convinced that this was a clear suicide mission. There seemed to be absolutely no chance for the whole crew to make it alive all the way to the ship and to make an escape. The Republic of Pirates was swarming with British soldiers, every corner being watched and checked actively. Though, you weren’t going to try and stay here either. You’d rather die as a pirate than get captured and be hung by the British. 

Izzy marched a little ahead of you with Ricky. You weren’t sure why he had been put in charge of the man, but there was no use in asking for him to hand over the job to you. He was still the first mate, and as loyal as he was he continued on with his duties. You weren’t scared for his sake, he was most certainly a more skilled fighter and a sailor than you were. But there was always the what if, at the back of your mind. As far as you knew, the whole area was surrounded by British soldiers. Each and every time you’d peeked to take a fast look, at least three men stood near with their guns. So the odds of one of them spotting the group and shooting weren’t nonexistent. 

Blackbeard and Izzy had a long history together, but so did you and him. From what you’d talked with Izzy, you’d joined the crew only a short time after him. The man wasn’t even the first mate just yet, which was one of the reasons why you’d dared to start chatting with him in the first place. By God, you wouldn’t have started hitting up someone in a much higher position in the crew just after joining. But there had started your decades long, complicated relationship. He’d always been a little snappish, and that had only amplified once he was given the position as first mate. But every time you’d been with him at the sidelines where he usually spent his time, he was just slightly different. He was the same man, but like there was less of a wall he had to keep up. So because he was seemingly comfortable with you around, you sometimes spent time with him. Share cigarettes, watched him carve figures out of small pieces of wood, whatever he was doing. Sometimes there were no words, just silent companionship. At times the air felt tense, and at some point that wasn’t just an itch you had sometimes. There was real tension, but neither of you addressed it. All the way up until you’d sat down to drink a bottle or two of rum with him. There were not many memories of said night, just one of the tension breaking kiss you’d shared with him. And of course the morning after, and the days that followed. The silence that suggested the both of you being at loss of what to do next. 

Your eyes focused on the soldiers in front of you, listening to Ricky speak to them as he’d been told to before. So far the plan was going as intended, but that wouldn’t last for much longer. The prince swung around, alerted the soldiers that the group he was with were pirates and pulled out his pistol. Your eyes widened and without more than a second to think you pushed the man next to you. There wasn’t time to check if he'd landed okay, since that hadn’t been a part of your plan, only to get him out of the bullet’s way. You heard the thud as he fell over, and soon after followed one of the most agonizing pain you could have imagined. The bullet must have hit you instead. There was no time to properly locate where it had hit, but you didn’t have to just yet. As long as you could somewhat walk, that was enough, since after you’d made it to the ship you could take a look at the damage. 

The rest of the unit had heard the gunshot and were hurrying to the scene. You reached out and offered a hand for Izzy, the other hand holding the spot you could see blood seeping through. He took a hold of your hand, noticing that something was clearly wrong. You could see his mouth open slightly, but before he was able to question you, you let go of his hand and pushed him forward by his back. “Fuck off, go!” You growled, eyes scanning the area for the easiest way out. 

The walk to the shore was a blur. You could tell you were stumbling, even the smallest of rocks getting in your way. Izzy was walking in front of you, but you could tell he was stalling more than a person running for their life would. “Did I not tell you to go?” You snarled a little at the stinging pain, now more obvious that it was coming from somewhere deep near your side. You wished he would have just followed the others, gotten away faster. But this brand new version of him wouldn’t do that to you, to anyone from the crew for that matter. You’d been proud of him through his change, but this was not the time for him to care about you. “Come on, I’m not leaving you here.” He paused enough to get you closer to him, and hoisted you up a little by your arm. “Fuck you.” You cursed, trying to walk a little faster now that he was helping you. 

The boat ride felt like forever, and as each of the waves hit the boat the stings of pain just felt worse and worse. You felt light headed and even without noticing you leaned on Izzy just a little more for support. He stiffened up, but kept you in place so you wouldn’t accidentally lean over the edge. You could have sworn you felt his thumb repetitively go over your forearm, as if to keep some sense in the moment .

Izzy got out of the boats first, and with the help of the others he got your form on the main deck. The first mate tore off his coat, laying it flat on the wooden deck before leaning your head over his lap. You could feel cold sweat creep onto your forehead and back, breaths shallow and quick. It was only now setting in what had happened, but you tried to bite back the feelings of panic. You felt Izzy tap your cheek, making your eyes land on his face. Some dirt had stuck to his face from the fall he’d taken because of you, you thought to yourself. “Come on, stay awake.” Izzy said, his voice a little shaken, but the same old commanding tone somewhere in there. “Oh, you’ll be fine, you carouser.” A groan left your throat, making you close your eyes for a moment. You didn’t feel like opening them after, but you did. You did when Izzy’s hand made contact with your cheek again. 

Before this you’d thought of the crew members watching. You’d noticed they were around Izzy, some of them hurrying to get anything to help. Though, you knew this was the day you’d feed the fish. Izzy’s expression looked tight. Like he wanted to cry, but tried not to for your sake. He was hunched over your form as his eyes watered. “Aye, now. Don’t hang the jib. You’ll be fine.” You tried to reassure him. He’d changed so much, gotten to see how much the crew actually cared about him. He’d be just fine even if you weren’t there with him to stand at the sidelines. Only if he could see that as well. “You don’t do this now, ye fucking hear me?” He said, brows furrowed. You looked at him, his eyes. He looked oddly blurry, your head was spinning from the lost blood. Though, you didn’t mention it to him. “I’m not going anywhere.” You grit your teeth, finding breathing a lot harder than it had been before. You wanted to go, if that meant the struggle would finally end. “But even if I did, I’d be leaving you with the…best possible people.”

Your gaze stayed on Izzy, trying to follow his lips in case you missed something he said. But he was silent, like he was holding back something. The first mate swallowed uncomfortably, leaning over carefully, just to hide his words from anyone else. “You need to tell me if you-” He started, but that was enough. A faint smile appeared on your face. “Of course I fucking love you.” You said, for his sake silently, but you didn’t find it in you to speak any louder anymore. Izzy froze for a moment, some tension leaving his shoulders as he nodded. It was subtle, but as long as you’d known him you’d learned to find even the most minimalistic emotions from his face. His jaw trembled, but his mouth opened and he silently replied; “I love you.” Which was enough for you, more than so. But at that moment, you hoped those words would have been said earlier. Then maybe, just maybe everything could have been different. “I’ll wait for you.” You said, the struggle starting to feel better, like it was coming to an end. Izzy’s face blurred into a soft darkness, which slowly became the only thing still holding you. 

AN// Requests for Izzy are open, I love writing for him ahhh >:(

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

05/02/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew Sightings; Taika Waititi; Claudia O'Doherty; Dominic Burgess; Eliza Cossio; Erroll Shand; Watch Party Reminders; Fan Spotlight: Cast Cards; OFMD Colouring Pages; Stede & Ed (Calvin & Hobbes); MerMay Prompts/submissions; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika;

= Cast & Crew Sightings =

= Taika Waititi =

Taika is in NYC with Rita for more TypeBea launches! Additionally, the Met Gala happens to be on May 6th, will they be showing up again this year?

Img Src: Rita Ora's IG Storys

Img Srcs: DailyMail

= Claudia O'Doherty =

Our dear Mary, Claudia O'Doherty has peeked her head out again! This time with cooking suggestions and a podcast! Check her out on the latest episode of @douboyspodcast. Listen here

= Erroll Shand =

Just Erroll in a priests outfit with the song "Reflections" by Diana Ross & The Supremes.

Img Src: Erroll's IG Story

= Dominic Burgess =

Dominic got to slay on Palm Royale this week! Check out that suit! Bonus --Once again, I am a sucker for cat content, any cast member that shows their pets I'm posting it. Check out these adorable babies of our dear Jeffrey Fetterling.

Img Src: Dominic Burgess' Twitter

== Eliza Cossio ==

One of our dear writers, Eliza Cossio just so happens to have co-written a spin off of Felicity called "Felicity In Space". It's available on her Instagram here: tinyurl.com/FELICITYINSPACE

Img Src: Eliza's IG

== Watch Party Reminders ==

Palm Royale picks back up May 9 via @LCWebsXOXO with the lovely @/dominicburgess approx. 4pm EDT/9pm BST/1pm PST!

= Wrecked =

Last 2 episodes of Season 1 is on the docket for tomorrow! Don't have access? Reach out to me on @gentlebeardsbarngrill on tumblr, or @aspirantabby42 on twitter.

Days: Apr 29 - May 3

Times: 3:30 pm PT / 6:30 pm ET / 11:30 pm BST

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Tonight is non other than Josie Whittlesey, aka Hellkat Maggie, and the reason we have OFMD in the first place! Thank you so much @melvisik for spotlighting her!

Img Src: @melvisik's Twitter

= OFMD Colouring Pages =

More colouring pages by @patchworkpiratebear! And it fits with the MerMay Theme! I would love to print out a whole books worth of these once they're done!

Img Src: @patchworkpiratebear's Tumblr

= Stede & Ed (Calvin & Hobbes) =

A new fan spotlight tonight features our very own darling @blakbonnet! She's been making these awesome Calvin/Hobbes redraws with Stede and Ed for a while now, and she was kind enough to let me share them with you in the recaps! If you haven't seen them already, please check them out on her blog! Theres's so many to catch up on so we'll be seeing more each day for a bit!

Src: @blakbonnet's Tumblr

== Mer May Prompts ==

There's prompts going on every day from the @saveofmdcrewmates and @bizarrelittlemew's MerMay Bingo and it's taking me a bit to get permission to share, but I'll share when if/when I can! A few of our crewmates are going strong with the themes!

= Spanish Jackiez =

Our talented @erostheartist had this submission for Mermay Day 1. I love the idea of The Swede as a merman <3 Visit them on their blog for more artwork!

= Plunder =

Today's SaveOFMD MerMay Day 2 prompt was "Plunder" -- and as always, @blueberreads never ceases to amaze with the awesome pixel art they make! The very important plant booty even makes an appearance-- and that tailcoat swoosh! I love it! For more pixel art awesomeness, please follow them on their blog!

In addition, @erostheartist had some gorgeous ideas on Plunder with Izzy Hands and jewelry, check out their post here to learn more about this piece.

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies! It's finally Friday tomorrow! I hope you all are finally going to get some rest and relaxation this weekend. We could all use some! I'm gonna go into a bit of a heavier topic tonight, so if you don't have the spoons please don't worry about reading it right now (or ever). I've noticed a big rift going on in the fandom. Whether its on twitter, or tumblr, there's definitely a lot of contention between various groups of fans. I'm sorry if that's stressing you out-- I know it can be really hard to see that kind of thing, especially when we put the time and effort into putting ourselves out there and trying to find a safe space ship we can belong to. Obviously I can't speak to the entire fandom, but the way I've been trying to process what's going on is I think we're running into some Post Cancellation-Fatigue/Aggression. When we were getting regular content from the show, or we were fighting to get the show back more, even if there were some differences between parts of the fandom, it still felt at least somewhat cohesive with some random outliers. That mutual fight for the show isn't as strong now, and the only content we get is BTS from Samba or some of the other lovely crewmembers, and I think it's starting to weigh pretty heavily on people. Sure, there's always been some contention, but a lot of folks have expressed that it's felt a lot stronger the last few days and I have to agree. Have you ever seen those cat videos where there are three cats -- two are focused on one another, and then another cat sneaks up from behind and scares one of them, and then the startled cat starts fighting the other one that wasn't involved? That's what your behavioural specialists would call "misplaced aggression". Same with if your two cats are fighting, and then you try to interrupt, and they scratch you--it's not caused by you but that aggression gets directed at you. That's kinda how it's feeling right now. There's something bugging all of us on some level (and its not all the same thing) and that's translating into frustration, and being modern times we can express those frustrations online-- and maybe not worded in the best way, and suddenly we've got this huge blow up of contention between groups. Now, I may be misreading it, but I've seen this happen in a few other fandoms post cancellations, and it feels similar.

How do we navigate that kind of change? Well, it's not easy. Fandoms are supposed to be fun. They're supposed to be a relief from stress and help us escape the crazy shit going on in this world.

You're allowed to want to just relax and have fun. You're allowed to love your blorbos, and your pairings, whether they follow canon or not ( just like anything in life, don't force them on others if they don't want them). You're allowed to have fun and learn new things and enjoy all of the wonderful things that happen in the show, as well as how many positive things have happened from it's existence.

That being said, you don't owe anyone your energy and mental health-- so if you're not feeling great about a particular group, or chat, or server, or whatever you're in, remember to be kind to yourself and prioritise your happiness. There's a reason there are block buttons on most social media-- not everyone gets along, and you shouldn't have to sacrifice your peace for the sake of other people's frustrations.

There are going to be groups that feel extremely strong one way or the other, and they're going to want you to pick a side. If you find that you identify more with one side, and you feel comfortable and accepted with them, then by all means, find your new safe space ship! If you don't want to pick a side, if you just want to love your blorbos and listen to all the different fun meta going on-- that's okay too! Look for people who share that same ideal-- and aren't as worried about one way or the other.

Hell, if you're enjoying the hell out of all the crazyness going on-- then that's fine too you bringer of chaos, you do you <3. I will repeat this lovelies-- this is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be an escape, not an added stressor.

Do you need a few days away from the internet? Go nuts! Go outside, lay in the grass, drink your favorite drink and eat your favorite snack. The internet will be here when you get back. This show that brought us all together is about love, kindness, acceptance, learning, growing, making mistakes, forgiveness, support from our friends and family, redemption, and breaking the paradigms that society wants so badly to hold us down with. Those are the things we need to remember and cherish. This show taught us that there are very few situations that are irredeemable with effort, if people are willing to try. It taught us that where we are now doesn't have to be where are in a day, or a month, or a year, or 10 years and nothing is set in stone. We can change our own circumstances if we need to. It's perfectly reasonable to be upset that our safe space ship is having some troubles right now, and I feel it just like everyone else, so I get it. But-- just like the show tells us, nothing stays the same forever, and things can get better. Things can mend. Fandoms can mend, friendships can mend, relationships can mend. Or they can be severed and allow for those involved to move on. Whatever YOU need to do for your peace is okay and valid (we just ask that its not purposefully causing harm to others). You're allowed to prioritise yourself and your happiness.

If you need to talk, or vent, reach out to like-minded crewmates (you're welcome to message me but I may be slow due to work stuff, but I'm happy to listen and talk when I can!)

No matter where you are, no matter how you're feeling, you are loved.

You are doing your best, and you will get through these harder times. Remember to be kind if you can, and give yourself grace too.

Sleep well lovelies, I hope tomorrow is easier for you <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's theme is "silly", because we all need a little sillyness in our lives.

Gifs courtesy of the stupendous @ofmd-ann and marvelous @darkinerry <3

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

xavier x addams reader where she does witchy things and xavier is totally whipped for her

Ahh I miss writing for this fandom! Wednesday is one of my favorite fandom to write for (especially addams!reader) <3 Where is everyone?

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

‘’Hand me the crow skull.’’

Xavier scanned across the table for the skull and handed it to you. There was a small — and overpriced — witchcraft store in Jericho, but he had a feeling you had gotten it yourself from a dead crow. The thought sent shivers down his back and impressed him at the same time.

‘’What is it that you’re doing exactly?’’ he asked, his spiritualism and witchcraft practice knowledge not as advanced as yours. 

Before you, a pentacle had been drawn with some lit candles around it, turning an old table into your altar. In the middle of the pentacle, you had superpositioned some bones along with a piece of fabric, turning the Nightshades library into your personal sanctuary.

If Principal Weems ever found out, she would shut down all activities and confiscate all of your material. Although Nevermore was a school for outcasts of all kinds, witchcraft practice outside classes was strictly forbidden. 

‘’Spying on my enemies,’’ you replied as you placed the small crow skull on top of the stacked bones. ‘’I suspect Bianca is planning to sabotage the Black Cats’ boat for tomorrow's Poe Cup.’’

‘’She sabotages everyone's boats every year. This is nothing new,’’ Xavier said, already feeling defeated although the competition was tomorrow. 

Somehow, only Bianca's boat make it back across the lake every year. Everyone else end up in the lake. It's too strange to be a coincidence or a fair win.

‘’Her little plans won’t be going accordingly this year. Wednesday made me swear on our great aunt Calpurnia’s grave that I would make sure Bianca wouldn’t sabotage her team’s boat. Unfortunately, a protection spell on their boat would be too obvious, but I can figure out her plans with a little crow's eye.’’ 

Xavier drew his eyebrows. ‘’A crow’s eye?’’ 

You hummed, then grabbed a handful of white grains and asked Xavier to move. ‘’Step back, mon amour, I wouldn’t want to injure you. It’s gonna blow up.’’ 

Getting the message, Xavier took a few steps back and watched from a safe distance. 

‘’Wings of Titania,’’ you began, sprinkling white grains around the bones,’’bear mine eyes aloft as I bid thee.’’ You dropped the rest of the white grains and all that was inside the pentagram blew up, your eyes turning white as your head tilted back the same way your sister would when getting a vision. 

—

Wednesday taglist: @bellblake121890 @vesperazhier @kaldurahms-lover @beeebo234 @nephilimsss @mayuphoenix @sweetheartlizzie07 @watermelon-18 @snixx2088 @555stargirl555 @robinscardigan @chumchum19 @lilttblog @aphex2winn @heizenka @mystargirl-interlude @hwrtsiren @babygirljay20 @wildflowerlyss @strangersomeone @openfandoms @charlottelaffin @iheartmaddyperez @starless-starkov @ali-r3n  @poppet05  @ell0ra-br3kk3r

 @rhaenyraswife  @teaganthemorningstar  @aphex2winn @moompie  @ifevilwhyhot @oliviah-25 @spenglerslime @wetwilliam02 @yellowcupcakes @haileyismoo @theyslayallday @wrldofsage @manofworm @rhydianissuperior @supersanelyromantic @nicangel13 @toylewestinnyc @meme-queen-1999 @rottenstyx @mxxny-lupin @idli-dosa @silenzju @ar40s @sweeterheartxamerica @renaissancewhxre @jordierama @lilppsblog @harrystylesfp  @katsuki420 @ravenssh1t @izzy-laufeyson @iluvwomenblog @kenzi-woycehoski @arunaposeidondottie @liidiaaag  @lilaconner @katsukis1wife @momoewn  @amithesimpoffandoms @chaotic-fangirl-blog @hawkegfs  @lyxrix @mommyruuetrue  @acornacreacure

@lucassinclairsgf @youdontneedtoknowthisinformation @aabananaa @starrrslove @marissapearle @sshesang @scarxvodka  @xoxo-zainab @illf4iry  @yourfavdummy @leoluvsur-pappy @kcskye123 @wenvierismycomfort @pedrosprincess @luvvtxinityy @targaryenmoony @icarly23 @HB8301 @red1culous @kattybug @sI33pyh0110w04  @luci1fer @bloodyhw @slytherinambitious  @wilmalovegood @t-candy @tommysaxes @adaydreamaway08  @aqshua @lynbubble  @straberryshortcake143

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully  @aerangi  @hallecarey1  @bxbyyyjocelyn @mikeyspinkcup

[collinrobinsonsglasses]

Hello there!!

Really adore your "Too Soft to be a Pirate" work!! It's beyond incredible! I can't thank you for such a lovely piece!

Saw your requests are open, so here's my silly little thought:

Izzy Hands x Reader. Mutual pining. Fluff.

Besides being a certified badass, Reader is also a skilled artist. Stede, ever the enjoyer of art, buys the necessary supplies. Here come the portraits, landscapes and so on.

During some moment of quiet on the ship, Izzy is looking for the Reader and finds them in one of the somewhat secluded rooms of the Revenge, making a portrait of Mr. Hands himself.

They talk their pining through as a crew. Maybe even kiss about it lol.

Thank you for you works once again <3

Thank you for all the kind words @imchloefuckingprice-blog <3 I wrote the first part of this in Lucius's point of view, because he's the best when two people don't know how to express their feelings. I hope this was what you were looking for.

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

Masterlist

A Brush of Fate

Lucius prided himself on his keen observational skills. After all, he had recognized Stede and Ed’s feelings for each other long before they did. Now, his perceptive gaze focused on the unmistakable connection between you and Izzy. One night, while Lucius sketched and you painted, you opened up to him about your feelings for Izzy. Despite Lucius reassurances, you remained unsure about Izzy reciprocating your emotions. You insisted to Lucius that Izzy was still caught up in his feelings for Blackbeard. However, Lucius saw Izzy’s lingering gaze directed toward you from across the deck, noting his subtle attentiveness as he went out of his way to help you with tasks around the ship.

The more Lucius thought about the relationship between you and Izzy, the more it seemed to fall into place. Your undeniable skill with a sword and adept sailing skills meant you never pissed Izzy off like the other members of Bonnet’s crew. You were a certified badass and your artistic talents formed a quick bond between you and Lucius. You were Lucius’s favorite person on board, second only to Black Pete. Lucius believed Izzy would have to be an idiot not to have feelings for you. However, in Lucius’s opinion, Izzy frequently displayed behaviors that bordered on idiocy. 

“What are you working on today, babes?” Lucius inquired with a smirk as he entered the former ballroom, closing the door behind him. Lucius already knew the answer, observing a subtle shade of red flash across your face. 

In response, you turned the easel to face him and the doorway. Lucius gazed upon the beautiful portrait of Izzy hands before him, experiencing a pang of pity for its painter. 

As a thought crossed Lucius’s mind, he burst into laughter. “I can’t imagine what Stede would say if he knew you were using the paint supplies he bought you to create that. I feel like he would have a conniption.” 

After laying eyes on one of your small paintings, Stede had purchased supplies for you, hoping you would help replace the artworks lost on The Revenge during the era of the kraken. He confided in both you and Lucius, expressing his desire to make the ship feel like home once again. He wanted things to get back to normal and to help Edward feel comfortable. 

“I made those for Stede,” you remarked, and Lucius followed your finger to two paintings leaning against the ship wall to dry. One depicted The Revenge, and Lucius couldn’t help but marvel at the delicate details of the ship, rolling his eyes at your undeniable talent. The other showcased Ed, dressing in his exquisite purple attire from the night of the fancy party. You even included the tiny purple bows adorning his beard. 

“He’ll actually love those,” Lucius huffed, surprised to find no sarcastic comment to direct at the paintings. Playfully, he rested his chin on your shoulder from behind as you both admired the portrait of Izzy. “Now, who will this portrait go to?” Lucius teased. 

“No one. I’ll probably paint over it once I’m done.” 

“Why are you painting it then?” Lucius asked, disappointment evident in his tone. The portrait was beautiful, and he hoped you would give it to Izzy, finally admitting your true feelings. 

“I thought that if I painted Izzy, his face would get out of my head,” you replied quietly, and Lucius couldn’t help but hear the vulnerability in your voice. 

Lucius empathized with that line of thinking, but in a slightly different way. He recalled how he had sketched Blackbeard’s face for weeks, only to be snapped out of it by Black Pete. “I get that,” Lucius replied, pursing his lips and scrunching his face, before lifting his sketchbook to reveal one of the many drawings of Blackbeard. 

He observed the relief that washed over your face at being understood, forming a smile at the drawings. “Flower Blackbeard was my favorite,” you chuckled.

“Maybe…” Lucius lingered, playfully bumping his hip into yours. “You should give Izzy the painting, and that’ll get him out of your head” he suggested with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

You responded with a sarcastic laugh, accompanied by a roll of your eyes. Lucius dropped his playful expression, reciprocating with a roll of his eyes. Deep down, he just wanted you to be happy. Over the past few weeks, Izzy had grown on him, and while he may not have thought Izzy deserved you, it was clear that he was always occupying your thoughts. 

“I’ll leave you to moping and painting then,” Lucius said, patting your shoulder before heading out of the ballroom with a clear objective in mind. 

He found Izzy in the hallway leading to the captain’s quarters, gazing at one of your new paintings Stede had just hung up. This sight caused Lucius to smirk; he knew he was right about how Izzy felt about you. Determined to push you two together, he decided he would do everything he could to make it happen. Lucius was tired of seeing you unhappy when all that seemed necessary was to talk it through. 

“Pretty good, right?” Lucius slid into the spot next to Izzy, crossing his arms and directing his gaze at the painting. The painting depicted a simple sunset over the water, yet it radiated a quiet beauty. 

Izzy only replied with a grunt, clearly annoyed that Lucius had caught him staring at your painting. 

“I didn’t know you were such a lover of art, Iggy,” Lucius continued, attempting to poke at him further. “You and Stede must have so much to discuss.” 

“What the fuck do you want, twatty?” Izzy snapped in response. 

“There’s a leak in the ballroom,” Despite his usual quick-witted nature, he knew this lie lacked conviction. 

“Why the fuck is that my problem?” Izzy grumbled. 

“Blackbeard told me to tell you, so you could fix it.” Lucius’s arms involuntarily squeezed more tightly across his chest as he lied, but he tried to relax once he noticed. 

“Well… you told me, so fuck off.” 

“Oh, absolutely,” Lucius quickly retreated from the conversation, hoping his lie was convincing enough to get Izzy to go where he needed him. Lucius perched himself on one of the mast tops, carefully watching the direction Izzy departed. When he noticed Izzy heading toward the ballroom, Lucius bit his lip with anticipation. 

⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓

Izzy slowly wandered down the hallway, heading towards the ballroom, frustrated at being the one who always had to fix the ship’s problems. He was even more annoyed by Lucius teasing him about you. He couldn’t help but stare at your painting. It was beautiful, just like you. If it was so obvious to Lucius how Izzy felt about you, then you must be aware of it too. Perhaps it was some inside joke between the two of you. Izzy had held feelings for you for quite some time now, witnessing how you found beauty in the small details that most people would overlook. Your ability to turn the mundane into lovely paintings had captivated him, and with each stroke of your brush, his admiration for you grew. 

Feeling discouraged, Izzy had almost decided to give up on his feelings for you when he opened the door to the ballroom and found you immersed in painting. He was taken aback for a moment, not realizing that this was where you created your art, and then confused about why Lucius had sent him here. There were no visible leaks in sight. That’s when he saw a portrait of himself staring back at him. His jaw dropped as he tried to understand the meaning behind the painting. 

“Fuck off, Lucius,” he heard you say as you continued to paint, not turning towards the sound of the door opening. Izzy contemplated whether he should leave, feeling like he had interrupted a private moment. However, in his moment of indecision, you turned around to face him. Izzy observed your eyes widen in surprise, followed by your cheeks blushing a deep shade of scarlet. “You’re not Lucius,” you whispered quietly, regaining your composure. 

Izzy tried to rack his brain, attempting to find a reason why you would be painting him, but he couldn’t come up with a single explanation. A moment of silence stretched between you both as you stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Izzy glanced over at the two other paintings in the room. “Are these for Bonnet?” he questioned, gesturing towards all the paintings. 

“Those two are. This one is just something I’m doing for fun,” you replied, and Izzy sensed the nervousness in your demeanor as you spoke. 

“Why?” Izzy inquired. 

“I feel like you have a face that’s worth being painted,” you whispered. 

Izzy didn’t know how to respond to your words; they seemed sincere, but this whole scenario didn’t make sense to him. Why did Lucius send him here? Taking a moment to examine you, he noticed you were in an old, oversized shirt covered in paint. As he gazed at your face, he observed a bit of paint smeared across your nose. He wasn’t sure what information he was trying to glean, but he also enjoyed just looking at you. 

Realizing he had been staring at you for too long without a response, Izzy quickly found his words. “Lucius told me there was a leak in this room.” 

Izzy watched your face contort from one of nervousness to annoyance. 

“Of course he did,” you snapped. Izzy observed as you dropped the paintbrush onto a nearby stoll where your paint sat, glancing towards the door as if you were going to find Lucius yourself to teach him a lesson. “There’s no leak, Izzy.” 

Finally, the pieces snapped together in Izzy’s mind. Lucius’s teasing remark and him sending Izzy to find you painting a picture of him–it was all part of a big joke, and he realized he was the butt of it. Izzy felt anger rising within him. He never expected you to treat him like this, and the revelation left him feeling both hurt and surprised. 

“Oh, I see. You and Mr. Spriggs are joking around and wasting my time,” Izzy spat as he began to turn towards the door to leave. 

“Wait, Iz.” Izzy felt your light grip on his arm, pausing at your touch. “Lucius knows how I feel about you, so I think this was his way of forcing me to tell you. I’m not trying to waste your time or play a joke on you.” 

“How do you feel about me?” Izzy whispered quickly. He felt his demeanor instantly soften and turned back towards you. 

“I like you, Israel Hands,” you said steadily, your big eyes gazing into his, seeming to search for any sort of reaction. 

When he gave none, you grabbed Izzy’s hand, leading him towards the painting, gesturing to your work as you spoke. “On the outside, ruggedly handsome, worn by the sea, tough but your eyes… There’s a gentleness you can see in your eyes. The way they soften when you talk about something you love, the subtle warmth they hold when you smile. I like you because I see a complexity in you, Izzy– a blend of strength and tenderness that intrigues me.” 

Izzy turned towards you, prompting you to face him. His fingers reached up to gently trace the paint on your nose. You closed your eyes at his touch, opening them to meet his gaze once his hand fell from your face. “Paint?” you asked in a soft whisper. 

“I like how you look… even with paint on your face. Especially with paint on your face.” Izzy confessed, his tone tender. “I like you.” 

Izzy gazed down, captivated, as a sweet smile stretched across your face. His eyes lingered on your lips, attempting to memorize their shape and color. A silent anticipation filled the space between you, Izzy pondering the sensation of your lips against his, the curiosity and desire swirling within him. You closed the gap between you, your lips meeting his in a tender kiss. The connection was soft and sweet. Time seemed to stand still as your lips gently explored the contours of Izzy’s. 

“I fucking knew it,” Lucius’s voice rang out from the hallway in delight. 

Izzy immediately let go of you, worried about your reaction to Lucius seeing you with him. You only replied with a giggle, shutting the door quickly. “Fuck off, Lucius,” you sang playfully. 

As your arms warped around Izzy, pulling him in for another kiss, he heard Lucius’s annoyed voice through the door. “I feel like I deserve a thank you, at least.” 

For the first time, Izzy was thankful to Mr. Spriggs for sticking his nose into everyone’s business. Thanks to him, he was getting to hold you in his arms, instead of just having to admire you from afar. You had told Izzy he had a face worth painting, but in Izzy’s mind, you yourself were a work of art.

[brascu]

ok I can't believe Imma write a piece of OFMD meta without even getting to the end of the season.

I NEED to talk about Lucius and Izzy. like, a lot.

But before we get to the spoilers and stuff, I need to go back to first season. Be mindfull that I won't tell you again this is going to have spoilers from season 2, up to the 5ft episode.

It's safe to say that Izzy is Ed's right hand and Lucius is Stede's right hand. Or better saying, Lucius is the left hand.

Not only because Lucius is, indeed, left handed, but because the left side is associated with feelings.

Lucius is the one character to be wearing red from the begining of first season. He is feelings, he is the one who records Stede's thoughts and feelings. He is not "useful" in a practical way, he is simply the person who observes and helps people figure things out.

He is literally the first one to see that Ed and Stede are falling in love.

I mean, there is a second guy who notices, but can't understand what is happening. Izzy.

Izzy is Ed's right hand. He is the one who taught Ed what he knows, he is the one who kills people for Ed, he is the one who guarantees things are going acording to plans. He is practical. He doesn't have time for feelings and romance.

Izzy wears black clothes all the way. He is in no way in contact with his feelings.

And from start he thinks he is better than Lucius, but yet we see Lucius owning him in first season. We see Izzy showing his queerness in a very uncomfortable way to him in his "ohh, daddy" scene. (god, I love that moment)

Izzy sees Ed falling in love with Stede, but only sees a problem. A rock on the way of their sucess. Feelings are useless.

Lucius sees them falling in love and gets the role of a wingman or something. He helps them out.

And Lucius is protective of Stede in regards to Ed, we see it on Calico Jack's episode and more recently when he seats down with Stede in Zheng Yi Sao's boat and tells him to be mindfull of the cruel shit his boo has been doing. He is somewhat afraid Blackbeard will hurt his friend.

Just like Izzy was afraid Stede was going to ruin his Blackbeard.

In season one, Izzy simply wants to separate them. He wants Ed all to himself. He hates Stede.

In season one, Lucius was a bit afraid of Ed at the beginning, but learned how to deal with him and appreciate him. When Ed looses Stede, Lucius is there to help him.

There is a reason he calls for Lucius while at the blanket fort. Lucius is emotion, is feelings. Lucius is able to help him in a way Izzy would never be able.

Ed gets out of his cacoon, fully in red, and sings his feelings out.

Izzy freaks out an threatens Ed. Izzy gets Ed scared. Scared Ed gets rid of his feelings for Bonnet, he gets rid of Lucius, the feelings.

And the Kraken spiraling he gets into hurts both right and left hand.

At first, Izzy thinks he got what he wanted. At first, Lucius thinks he is dead.

And both get ruined.

Ed, without his feelings being heard by himself, proceeds to destroy himself. Which, of course, includes destroying his right hand.

He hates himself and he needs the others to hate himself. He tortures and hurt Izzy too many times. To the point where Izzy, the one "without feelings" is whining on Fang's lap, scared like a little puppy. Dirty, scared, powerless.

We understand from what's been shown that the rest of the crew supported him, and that's probably where he started thinking about going against Ed's madness. Not for himself, but for the crew. Izzy learned to care.

Lucius, on the other hand, was alone. He went through hell without a friend. He had to tough it up to survive and he is fucking damaged.

He lost hope and trust and he is bitter as fuck, just like Izzy used to be.

Lucius starts this season hating on Stede and Ed. He blames them for the things he went through, and he has right to do so.

He thinks, just like Izzy used to think, that Stede caused Ed's madness.

For Izzy, Stede made Ed weak. For Lucius, Stede made Ed unhinged.

And while in season one we have Izzy getting mad that Stede and Ed are hanging out, Lucius this time is outraged. How could my bestfriend replace me with some sissy? How can my captain wellcome back this guy who almost killed us all?

Both Lucius and Izzy dress a bit diferently this season.

The red is gone. Lucius wears basic clothes, not colorfull at all, as if he doesn't want to get attention. He wants to blend in to the back.

Izzy has gold now, on his unicorn gold leg.

Both almost died from infections "caused" by Ed.

Lucius is bitten by Buttons after Ed scared them with his theatre, the one he was showing to entertain Stede. Izzy gets shot by the Kraken after he dared to mention Stede's name.

Lucius loses his finger, which makes it a bit more dificult for him to write, for him to keep doing what he was doing.

Izzy loses his leg, which makes it a lot more difficult for him to fight with a sword.

And although they still can do those things, they're not that needed anymore.

Lucius doesn't write Stede's diary anymore. We've seen Stede writing by himself, which lead me to think he doesn't need Lucius that much with understanding his own feelings as well.

Izzy is not Ed's right hand anymore. He is still somewhat of a first mate, he helps the captain, but in a different way. He teaches Stede things, but he still haven gotten to actually doing things for him on screem. We had someone trying to hurt Stede twice and Stede saved himself before Izzy even got his sword out.

Izzy is learning to admire Stede's way. He felt what Stede's absence did to his friend, to the crew and to himself. He is learnng to talk it through.

Lucius is still bitter. Lucius is obsessed with Ed, but he has help from someone that was hurt in a similar way.

Izzy, the practical, is helping Lucius, the emotional, to deal with his trauma.

They are getting closer, just like their captains, in a new way.

The scene with the little shark absolutely broke me. Izzy made him an artpiece. This is the first time we see him doing something artistic, and he gives it to Lucius. He gives emotion back to Lucius.

I can't wait to see where they go.

[dragon-kazansky]

Spirit of the sea

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

You were a member of Blackbeard's crew long ago. Then you became a ghost story. Izzy Hands only sees you in his dreams these days, until he sees you for real when investigating Stede Bonnet. This sets him on a rollercoaster of emotions between you and what his captain is doing.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Warnings: Calico Jack. Sad Izzy. Sad you.

Chapter Seven - Blind Man's Cove

♡♡♡

Izzy sits in Spanish Jackie's bar. He had just made a deal with the British Navy to hand over Stede Bonnet. When the Navy left, Izzy was left to sit on his own at the back of the bar. He had his head in his hand, his hair messed up from where he had ran his fingers through it. In his other hand was the ring he wore around his neck. It felt heavy in his palm.

"Be safe," he whispers.

He stared at the little piece of jewellery and then closed his fingers around it, closing his eyes for a moment. God, he wishes you had come with him. He wanted to mend the damage done from 6 years apart. He wanted to be able to look at you and feel normal again.

Stupid fucking Stede Bonnet.

And yet, it was because of Bonnet they found you again. Still, he needed to get rid of the man. He needed his Blackbeard back.

He just hoped you would find it in your heart to forgive him what he had done.

♡♡♡

It was late at night. You had fallen asleep in Izzy's old bed once again. Lucius had been earlier to check on you as he done every night so far.

You had only just drifted off to sleep when you heard voices. One of them was definitely Edward. He sounded excited.

Sighing, you sat up. "What is he doing?"

You get up out of bed and make your way up onto the deck. What you see was not what you were expecting. No fucking way was Calico Jack onboard the Revenge.

"Fuck off."

At the sound of your voice both Jack and Edward turn around. Ed looks beyond excited.

"Look who found us! Jack, Calico Jack!" Ed grins.

Jack grins too, but his is more of a smirk than a smile. "Long time no see. Last I heard, you were a spirit haunting the waters."

"Yeah, that... that's just a story," you say. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Came to see ya both, didn't I?" Jack drapes an arm around your shoulders and guides you back toward Edward. "Three pals back together again! Just like old times."

♡♡♡

Stede wakes up to the sound of cannon fire. He comes up deck to find you leaning back against the railing as Edward and Jack have their fun. The rest of the crew are present too.

"What's going on? Who are we attacking?"

"Hey! Shit, did we wake you?" Ed asks. Jack and himself had been drinking for a couple hours by this point. "Shot, sorry, we were a bit too loud."

"I mean... cannons are loud," you mutter, taking a swig of your own drink.

"We were blowing stuff up. I just got laid a visit by my old ship mate, Calico Jack."

"OK... um... Old mate? Well, if he's a friend of yours, hello." Stede greets.

"Who's the big gal?" Jack asks.

"Would you fuckin' stop?" Ed playfully shoves him. They both laugh. "He's joking. He's fuckin' joking. You're not a girl."

You take another swig from your bottle as you watch the exchange.

"Jack, Stede Bonnet. Stede Bonnet, Jack."

"Good to meet you." Stede shakes Jack's hand. "So, er, what are we blowing up?"

Edward goes on to explain they had found and old chest of drawers. Stede comments that it was an old family heirloom, but he shakes it off as if he wanted to blow it up anyway.

He promptly invites Edward to breakfast, where Jack tags along. Stede doesn't look too pleased, but rolls with it.

You decide to take your bottle of rum over to the nearest steps and sit down. Lucius spots you and makes his way over, pulling a face.

"Rough night?"

"Didn't sleep much." You tell him, lowering the rum bottle from your lips. Lucius reaches out and takes it from you. You hadn't drank as much as the other two had, but Lucius wanted to stop you from drinking any more anyway.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"What's left to talk about? I miss him, okay..."

"What's the deal with Jack?" He asks.

"He's Ed's mate."

"Go on," Lucius urges.

"He's a bit of a wild card. Crazy shit will happen while he's here, for the record. He brings out some of the crazy in Blackbeard."

"Okay. Anything else?"

You sigh and look at him. "He was a drunken fling. That what you wanna hear? It happened once, never again."

Lucius grins. "Feels good to get out in the open though, right?"

"I don't know how that information makes amy difference to anything," you say, burrowing your brows in confusion.

"It doesn't, I just wanted to hear you open up. See, you're learning it ways. You're one of us."

You laugh softly.

♡♡♡

Lucius spent a good portion of the morning with you, Pete joining you both at some point. You were enjoying your time with them chatting and sharing stories. Pete shared of his made up stories about his time on Blackbeard's crew. You found amusement in them and Pete seemed proud you liked them.

When Edward and Jack returned to deck, Jack had his whip at the ready. Edward at up some bottles along the railing of the ship.

"What are they doing?" Pete asked, watching the two men.

"Whippies."

Calico Jack was a master of the whip. The crew cheered as he broke each bottle without missing a beat. You can't deny his skill, no matter what you may think of the man.

Stede looks rather horrified.

"Whippies! Whippies! Whippies!" Everyone starts cheering.

Jack whips the cards from Swede's hand.

"The guy's an absolute legend with a whip." Ed laughs.

"How long's he staying, do you think?" Stede asks Ed.

"Ah, fuck, I don't know. I mean, you know, we're keeping it open-ended. You can't put a fuckin' time limit on fun, mate! Jack! Whip my balls!" Ed urges, laughing.

Jack whips his balls.

Of course it fucking hurts.

You sigh, having seen enough. You get up and walk across deck.

"Hey! Where ya going?" You hear Jack call.

♡♡♡

You lay on Izzy's bed and look up at the ceiling. You were glad to see Blackbeard had perked up a bit, but you were also a bit sad to see Stede not looking so comfortable. You knew Jack could be a handful.

However, Jack is not so much on your mind as Izzy is. You find yourself thinking about him a lot these days. His absence is really settling in.

You would give anything to see his face again.

"Come back, Izzy... please..."

The cabin is terribly quiet. It feels lonely. God, you miss that man.

♡♡♡

"There was the time he saved my life."

Ed and Jack were sharing stories with the crew. You were up there doing some chores on the ship as the others had stopped to listen.

"I don't like to bring it up. It's a bit immodest." Jack brushes Ed's words off.

"Come on!" "Tell us!" The crew plead.

"It was actually not too far from here, uh, matter of fact, on old Blind Man's Cove."

"Well, you know what. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be alive today," Edward says.

"I love this dopey bastard right here." Jack laughs. "That's a real pirate! Not like one of these store-bought types."

You glance at Stede when Jack says that.

"Jack, I hate to ask, but... where's your ship and your crew?" Stede asks. "You'd think a real pirate would have those."

"Well, I'm kind of, uh, between things at the moment." Jack replies. "Look, fellas, I know it looks like I'm killin' it, but, uh... I'm really not."

There's a pause of silence.

"My crew mutinued." Jack cries. "Third time it's happened this year."

Edward comforts him. Everyone looks at Stede, disappointed.

"You made him cry." Pete says.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Well, it was a pretty bitchy question." Lucius frowns.

Ed takes Stede off to the side to talk to him. The crew move in to comfort Jack.

"It's okay, CJ. I'm sure it wasn't personal." Roach tries to comfort him.

"Yeah, well, when they tie an anchor around your leg and throw you overboard, it feels pretty personal."

"We were gonna mutiny on Stede," Pete tells Jack.

"Yeah, probably again someday." Swede adds in.

Jack smiles at them. "Thanks, fellas. Real nice of you to say."

"Calico!" Stede returns. "I was thinking would it cheer you up if we went for s little trip? Perhaps somewhere fun?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Don't make a bother for me."

"Where you wanna go?" Ed asks.

"Well, I haven't been to Blind Man's Cove in years."

"Well, Blind Man's Cove it is." Stede smiles.

♡♡♡

"Yardies! Who's up for yardies?" Jack yells.

You sit on deck, the ship just off the coast of Blind Man's Cove. It's definitely a pretty island, but the cove is quite closed in.

However, the crew have their fun.

Roach attempts a game of yardies, but doesn't clear the deck. He's alive, but man would that have hurt. You felt it yourself as he hit the side of the ship.

Later you all find yourselves on the beach. They attach a knife to a turtle and try to get it to fight a crab. The funniest part about this was watching each of the crew take sides. Turtle or crab.

Stede was standing beside you looking horrified. "This is fun?" He asks softly.

"To some."

"But not to you?"

"Oh no, not to me. Nor you by the looks of it."

Stede sighs softly.

At one point Stede goes off into the trees to pee. You'd all been drinking rum like there was no tomorrow. Jack also disappeared from the beach and you had a speaking suspicion he went after Stede.

You watch Blackbeard. He seems chipper. A lot like his old self before Stede Bonnet. Just how you remembered him. He turns and sees you, smiling.

"Isn't this fun?" He asks.

"Yeah. Fun."

Ed swings his arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side. "Come on, smile! Just like the old days."

"Sure."

"What is it?" He asks.

"Nothing..."

"Oh... Is this about Izzy?"

You fall quiet.

"He's gone. He made his choice."

"I know. I don't need to be reminded. You can still miss someone, ya know?"

"I know."

Stede returns from beyond the trees and marches down the beach. Ed spots him and follows him. "Where you going? We're about to have a coconut war."

Turns out Stede isn't having much fun. When you hear he was heading back to the ship, you felt like doing the same. Though you knew Lucius would probably come scold you for sulking later.

Jack throws a coconut at Ed. Stede heads back to the dingy. You catch up to him.

"Can I go back with you?"

"Not having fun either?" He asks softly.

"Not really."

Stede smiles and nods. "Come on then, let's go back to the ship."

♡♡♡

When you both get back to the ship, Stede invites you into his cabin for some tea. You decide to take him up on his offer. The ship is quiet with just two of you, but it's kind of nice.

Stede pours you both some tea and some cake he had Roach prepare earlier. You both sit down and enjoy.

"I don't like who Ed is when he's with Jack," Stede says, sipping his tea.

"I know it's very different from what you've seen of him, but he really was like that all the time before."

"Yes, so I've heard." Stede sighs. "Still, the Ed I know was so different."

"Yeah. You... softened him up a bit."

Stede looks at you softly. "Is that bad?"

"Not necessarily. Just different. I don't hate it." You take a bite of your cake. "I've been getting a bit used to being on this ship."

Stede smiles. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like."

"Thank you."

While the crew pass time on the beach, you and Stede hang out. He takes you through some of his books, tells you where some of his furniture is from, and you tell him a few stories of your own sailing days.

"You talk about Izzy a lot," he points out.

"Do I?"

"Yes. You sound quite close."

"I thought we were. Turns out I was wrong."

"How so?" Stede furrows his brow at you. The pout of his lips in confusion was, dare you say, somewhat adorable?

"He left. Didn't hesitate. I must be pretty easy to leave."

"Why didn't you go with him?"

"He did ask me to, but... I don't know."

Stede reaches out and gives your hand a friendly pat. "Well, I for one am glad you stayed."

♡♡♡

As night draws in, Stede retires to bed. You decide to do the same, curling up in Izzy's old cabin again. You still refer to it as his even though he's not here any more.

The crew had returned and they had clearly being drinking none stop. The sound of smashing is keeping you awake.

You decide to at least see what's going on. When you get up to deck, Buttons is yelling at them for being so loud. He was trying to moonbathe.

"Sorry, Buttons. Maybe he's right, guys. Should we pack it in?" Ed said, clearly drunk. "It's been a day."

The crew begin to agree, and you're about ready to help some of them get to bed, but Jack refuses and grabs his whip.

"King Coconut says, we go," he whips a sack nearby, "another," he whips the deck, " round!"

Lastly he whips wildly and everyone gasps in horror as Jack whips Buttons' seagull, Karl. You stare wide eyed as Buttons picks up his little bird friend.

"He's deid." Button says, his accent heavy. "You... killed him."

Buttons hands Karl over to Roach and starts talking in tongues. "I hex upon ye, I hex upon ye, I hex upon yeee...!"

You watch in mild confusion and fascination.

"Well, thay was some weird shit."

You walk over to Jack. "You should go."

"Oh, come on. It was an accident." He grins.

"Get off my ship!" Stede calls from behind you. You move away and let him come closer. "Like they said, you should go."

"Fine. I don't give a shit. Party sucked anyway. I'm out. Who's with me?" Jack asks. He looks at you, but you remain standing beside Stede. "Oh, come on. You don't wanna stick around with this fop, do ya?"

No one moves.

Jack turns to Ed. "Blackie? I saved your life man."

"Yeah."

Stede's expression falls. "Wait. You're leaving? With him?"

You frown. First Izzy, now Blackbeard?

"This is who I am, Stede." Ed speaks quietly. He glances at you, but you don't move. "You were always gonna realise what I am."

Edward walks over to the side of the ship and then looks back over his shoulder. "Take care, mate."

You take a deep breath before walking off.

♡♡♡

Lucius was on his way to go see Stede, but decided it best to stop off by your room first. As expected you were curled up on the bed. He doesn't have to say anything for you to know he was there.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" He asks.

"With pity."

Lucius steps into the room. "I wasn't. I did want to make sure you were okay though. First Izzy, now Blackbeard."

You look at him unimpressed.

"I'm gonna go check on the captain. You coming?"

You sigh softly and get up. "Yeah."

Turns out Stede was worse off than you. He was sat by the window with his telescope, watching Ed on the beach. Oluwande had spent the night in here, so he hadn't slept all that well either.

"Has this been going on all night?" Lucius asks.

"All night. No breaks."

Lucius goes over to his captain to try and talk to him. You sigh and watch from beside where Olu is seated.

"Morning, Captain. Do you mind putting the scope down for a sec?"

Stede doesn't budge.

"Okay, I will just take this..."

"No..."

"One, two..."

"No!"

"...three."

Lucius takes the scope from Stede. He hands it over to you and you tuck it away somewhere safe.

"Long night?" Lucius asks.

"I don't know," Stede replies softly.

"OK. And do we think this more of a spat or a rupture with Blackbeard?"

Stede rests his head back with a think against the window panel behind him. "I think it's done."

Lucius sighs.

"Well, lucky for you... I'm fantastic at break-ups. I helped them with Izzy, so I can help you too."

"Izzy and I didn't break up," you say.

"Yes you did."

"We weren't together to begin with."

"Eh," Lucius shrugs. He walks past you swiftly and Stede returns to sulking.

♡♡♡

"I just wanted to let you all know, we'll be holding a buriel at sea for Karl." Stede talks to his crew.

Buttons sobs in the background.

"Understandably, Buttons is..." Buttons cries again. "...rather audibly upset. And on a related note, Blackbeard will no longer be sailing with us."

You sigh and look down at the deck. Maybe this was payback for leaving them 6 years ago. They've all left you.

"It's a big one, I know. It was a mutual decision, which I initiated first."

"So this mean we're back to being captained by just... you?" Pete asks.

"Look, technically, you've always been captained by me, and only me, so there's no change there." Stede replies to him.

"Right, but what if some of us saw ourselves more as Blackbeard's employee?"

You roll your eyes.

"I can still stay right?" You ask, turning to him.

"Course. I'd be sad to see you leave too..."

You give Stede a comforting smile and pat his later lightly.

"Look, these things happen. Sometimes captains drift apart. I know its tough, but chin up. OK? Neither of us will like you less or more than we did before."

"Bad news, Stede." You say, looking out to see.

"It is. It's terrible news," Stede replies, sighing.

"Not that. That!" You point out to sea.

An English Navy fleet have arrived. Three big ships trapping the Revenge into the cove.

"That's a lot of ship."

"Yeah, and we're trapped," you tell him.

A cannon is fired and it hits the unicorn as the front of the ship, completely beheading it.

"Warning shot," you tell Stede. "The next one's into the hull."

"Right, we should probably fire back at them, um... Prepare the cannons!"

"Wait!"

You all turn around to see Ed climbing back onboard.

"Hoist the white flag!"

"Ed!" Stede smiles. You smile too. He came back.

"Better alive than dead."

You and Ed nod at each other.

♡♡♡

Izzy watches the Revenge from the English Navy ship. He's gripping the ring around his neck as he keeps his eyes on the other ship.

"I'm here," he whispers.

The white flag is raised on the Revenge and Izzy holds his head up higher. He gets into one of the boats with the English and they row toward the Revenge, toward you.

Izzy was coming back.

♡♡♡

@grippleback-galaxy - @askmarinaandothers - @godlikegallagher - @for-fuck-sake-im-alive - @whiskeyswriting - @lxsm2 - @bloody-bunni666 - @the-chocoholic-writer - @bugbugboy - @callmemana -

[larphis]

My overtly dramatic but realistic prediction for the OFMD S2 pearl necklace:

After Stede and Ed make up, their freshly reestablished bond is (understandbly so) very fragile because Ed still carries a lot of the hurt from that night on the beach with him.

Stede, seeing how horribly he hurt the man that he loves, decides to come up with a plan and tells Ed that the crew and him will do some “lame robbery” to earn some money back and that Ed should just stay in the cabin because it wouldn’t excite him anyways and he should better use that time to rest and to get some energy back.

In reality Stede drags the crew into a fancy jewlery store and asks them for help to pick out something fancy because of Ed’s love for fine things.

The crew being absolutely done (because let’s be real “picking out apology jewlery for your captain’s boyfriend who left you out to die” really wasn’t part of the job description) just points at all kinds of stuff in hopes of going back to the ship as soon as possible.

However, Stede - being the extra person he is - feels like nothing is good enough for his beloved until he sees the pearl necklace and his eyes light up.

The crew looks very sceptical and asks their captain if he is sure that that is really something that Edward, Blackbeard, would like; but Stede is 100% convinced (“It’s perfect”).

So they steal the necklace (“I am sorry gentlemen, I wish I could pay you for your services but I’m doing this in the name of love!”) and head back to the ship.

When Stede arrives, Edward is already standing on deck and skeptically but curiously comes up to see what they gathered from the “lame robbery” - Izzy is right by his side and looks as pissed as ever.

While the crew already prepares to be thrown of the ship a second time, Stede hides the necklace behind his back and starts with a speech that probably goes something like:

“Ed, I know how much I’ve hurt you but I wanted you to know that I am so thankful to have been given a second chance by you and that I really don’t take any of this for granted.

And to honor that, I, with the help of the crew, picked out this fine piece of jewlery to remind you of the fact that you are worthy of beautiful things and how much I really meant it when I told you that I loved you”

Edward very slowly takes the pearl necklace out of Stede’s hands and looks at it with an unreadable expression - which in turn makes Izzy grin with pride:

“You are such a miserable creature, Bonnet. Did you really think that you could make someone like Blackbeard, the most cruel pirate to have ever lived, forgive you by gifting him a woman’s necklace?!”

“I love it”

“Exactly! He- WHAT?!”

Ed’s eyes are watery and still focused on the necklace as he quietly repeats himself:

“I love it”, he says, hesitates, but then walks up to Stede and kisses him on the cheek, “thank you” he adds and starts blushing.

(“Most cruel pirate to have ever lived” repeats Black Pete meanwhile under his breath with an obvious eyeroll, which earns him an elbow from Lucius)

Stede finally feels the tension leave his body and manages to shyly reply “no, thank you” with a smile that mirrors Ed’s.

Izzy only manages to hiss “I’m too old for this shit” as he turns on his heel and walks off.

But Ed honored the symbol of their renewed love and never went anywhere without the necklace again.

[sanaxo-o]

Be the one (Eric Sohn)

To @deobienthusiast K, from Sana: Hihi K :) I know that we don’t talk much (which is a shame because I think your company would be a great addition to my lonely life) but I really had so much fun writing this for you. Despite not being able to write for Sangyeon and Juyeon (I was thinking about making three different fics but *sigh* time is a bitch). I hope we get closer in the future and that you enjoy this small silly fic I wrote for one and only, Eric Sohn hehe.

Warnings: kissing, drinking, cheating, in a scene Juyeon jokingly implies that readers a bad person, um mentions of balls (don’t ask, just read), reader and Eric act stupid (way to much), mentions of peeing and all (plz don’t judge me yall 😭), PG 13 jokes (yes), reader jokingly says that she is in a relationship with a old man, mentions of doing excessive amount of drinking and drugs, few scenes inspired by TV show Gilmore Girls and a classic movie 10 Things I hate about you, some of it is inspired by Sabrina Carpenters song Santa doesn’t know you like I do.

Genre/trope: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn, hurt/comfort

Taglist: @cloverdaisies @kimsohn @mosviqu @from-izzy @mars101 @stealanity @deoboyznet

Sana: this actually took everything in me to write 😭. Like I have never in my life ever written slow burn so this was definitely a challenge! A big thanks to @mosviqu @from-izzy (especially izzy for giving me all those correct punctuations and all 😭) and @o-onikix for beta reading this huge ass thing of mine 😭 (also to my irl friend for reading bits and pieces and giving me the confidence)

Word count: 13,785

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

“Are you coming to the Christmas party?” You hear Soyeon ask you. Stopping in your tracks in the middle of the hallway, you turn around to face her again as you give out a small sigh at her repetitive question. The answer was going to be the same either way so you don’t understand why she is so persistent on getting you to come to the Christmas party.

“No, I don’t think I am coming to the Christmas party thanks for asking tho.” You say as you give out a small annoyed smile before you continued walking to your next class with Soyeon tailing behind you.

“But why? It’s the last party you will get!” She says once she catches up with you.

“There’s…there’s prom?” You say with your lips pressed in a straight line. Dropping by your locker you pick up a few extra books you needed for the next class.

“Which you will never attend! Come on, it’s gonna be so fun at the party.” She says with a pout resting upon her lips as she shakes your arms back and forth trying to convince you.

“Parties are not my thing. You know it and it’s like any other typical party I have attended in the past. There would be loud music, then of course, alcohol which was sneaked in by others and in every other corner would be people making out. On top of that, no one has asked me out yet.” You tell her before you push her away gently and close your locker with a thud.

“No one is asking you because they’re scared you will reject them like every time.” You hear Soyeon mumble with the small pout still resting upon her lips as she played with her sleeves trying to gain your sympathy which she was miserably failing at.

“Even if I do come I won’t enjoy it.” You point out as a matter of fact.

“What about Eric? He can ask you out!” She suggests totally ignoring the fact that you just said that you won’t enjoy the party either way. But you let out a snort when you register the fact that she just said that Eric could ask you out. At this point it was a normal thing for her, in every other conversation she would always manage to bring up Eric.

She thinks Eric is the perfect boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and from her point of view she says that Eric is totally smitten for you which is most definitely not true because after all you both are just really close friends.

Despite the sweet names he calls you by, holding your hand when it’s cold to warm you up, buying food for you as his treat, the occasional sleepovers at his place on every Friday as you both cuddled together on the same bed and of course the way he’s always looking after you no matter what.

You still remember the day when you had fallen sick and Eric by all means tried his best to manage everything on his own. From taking care of you to helping you complete your notes despite being from different majors.

“Eric? He’s just a friend, nothing more, nothing less.” Saying that you start walking away.

“I beg to differ, every other person thinks that you and Eric are dating!” Soyeon says with a whisper.

“I don’t care what every other person thinks and that’s not even true, I mean yeah I used to have a thing for Eric in the past but I am over it. He already likes someone else I guess…” you say, your voice coming out small.

Giving you a look Soyeon looks at you with a knowing look “Are you sure about that?” She says before stifling a laugh when she sees the glare you throw her way.

“Yes I am sure about that and as I said before Eric already likes some else..” you say with a slight groan at the end.

“What are you talking about? Eric and Yuna broke up months ago and not to say you’re still single. It’s a perfect opportunity!!” Soyeon says with an excited smile now playing upon her lips.

“Nah, Eric and me are better off as friends I’d say.” Saying that you walk away from Soyeon and enter your class.

Taking a seat at the very end of the class, you place your bag and books on the table before you get your headphones out.

Looking out the window you looked at the calm stretched morning, it was like any other day you would have. The professor was blabbing away about something you did not care enough to pay attention to.

You would catch up on it later on anyways but the morning was ruined when the door slammed open and one of your peers, Sunwoo walked in with rage.

Standing right in front of you he leaned down to speak with you, “How could you leave me yesterday night? After the amazing night we had you just storm out in the morning just like that with no other thought in mind?? How could you Y/N!?” Sunwoo screamed loudly as he continued, “I thought we were heading som-” Another uninvited yell cut him off. getting cut off Sunwoo was interrupted with another yell.

“What the hell man? How could you just barge in like that? I told you, Y/N is with me now.” You see Eric say as he approaches you and Sunwoo.

“You stay out of this Eric!” Sunwoo yells at him.

“Why? Just because you cannot have her why blame it on me?”

“You asked for it you little shit!” Sunwoo yells at Eric as he pounces on top of him.

Looking around the room you see everyone whisper things while watching the fight unfold in front of them, and if that was not enough in came Juyeon with a security guard outfit on as he blew the whistle to stop the two of them from fighting.

“All right that’s enough you two!” Juyeon yells as he goes over to both of them and picks them up by their collar before he turns around and looks at you while still having a hold of them. “Y/N you should be ashamed of yourself for toying with boys like this! They used to have pride, they used to have dignity and most of all they used to have balls!” Juyeon yells as he starts dragging both of them to the door before stopping midway “Damn it Y/N, give them back their balls!” Saying the last line all three of them exited the class before laughter began to erupt everywhere.

Looking around you slide down against the chair trying to hide yourself. You knew being friends with them meant having some crazy experiences but never did you ever think that they would do something like this.

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Sitting in the cafeteria with Soyeon, you listened to her babble about something that happened in her class before she stopped talking when Eric approached your table with Sunwoo and Juyeon by his side.

You just observed him take a seat beside you before he grabbed a French fry from your plate. Sighing you just pushed the bowl towards him, suddenly having no appetite.

“I hated the stunt you pulled in the class today. Like no I do not have your balls. Just because you’re the son of a rich man does not mean you do this.” You say with a solemn voice as you drink your cup of coffee.

“Seriously Y/N? Having coffee at lunchtime?” Eric asked with a deadpan expression as he looked at you with confusion totally ignoring about the fact that you were mad at him.

“No, don’t change the subject. I am still talking. I mean who in the right mind would do something like this? It's so humi-” Before you could finish your whole sentence your mouth was stuffed with a bunch of fries in your mouth. Chewing onto them you glared at Eric before you looked away from him.

“Okay, I am sorry I did that. How about I make up for pulling this stunt which was in your language very much absurd and humiliating?” You hear Eric ask you. Stopping yourself from taking any more sips of your now almost empty cup of coffee you gave him a look of suspicion, not believing him yet.

“And how will you do that?” You say with suspicion evident in your voice, you did not even try to hide it.

“I know about a carnival which is happening in my area. How about I take you there? Good enough?” Eric asks with his hand out for a handshake.

“You pay for everything and buy me a soft toy?” You ask with hesitation before you grab his hand and shake it to seal the deal.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. So I’ll meet you at your place at 4?” He asks before standing up from the bench. Nodding your head you give him a small smile as you wave him goodbye.

“Looks like a date,” you hear Soyeon say once Eric leaves the cafeteria with Sunwoo and Juyeon. Throwing a glare at her you stand and gather your things getting ready to leave for your next class.

“It’s not a date, he’s just making up to me for the stunt he pulled on me today in my class which was by the-”

“Very humiliating and embarrassing. Gee, you said that already Y/N. Say whatever you want but I totally see you two dating in the near future.” She says with an irritatingly knowing voice as she blows a kiss towards your way before she watches your figure walking away.

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Standing outside your house you look at your watch in impatience, it was 4:02 and there was still no sight of Eric. Rather than being mad at him for being late you were rather more concerned about him, what if something happened to him on the way here? Is he alright or what if he had hurt himself really bad leading to him being late?

Your train of thoughts came to a stop when you saw Eric’s car pull up at your driveway. Heaving out a sigh of relief you walk towards his car and take a seat in the passenger seat.

“Why are you so late?” You ask him once you put on your seatbelt and sit comfortably on the seat.

“Only two minutes sweetheart, why so worked up?” Eric says with a chuckle as he gives your head a soft pat with a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“I was worried about you. What if something would have happened to you while coming here? How would I know? You did not even give me a call. Why were you even late?” You ask him again with a frown evident on your lips and your eyebrows raised up in a tense manner.

“Aww, you were worried about me, sweetheart?” He says in a sing-song voice as he starts the car.

“No, I was not. I was worried about the fact that you got in an accident before you took me to the carnival.” You lied to him trying to cover up for yourself, you did not want him to get cocky about this again.

It did not take long for both of you before you reached the carnival. Stopping the car in the parking lot Eric parked the car safely without bumping into anything (which you were surprised at because a normal person would have gotten distracted by your constant yapping unlike Eric who paid attention to every single word you said yet managed to park the car safely).

Getting out of the car and locking it, Eric came and stood by your side as he subtly took a hold of your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours as he started walking towards the entrance without looking at your now red blushing face.

“Where do you want to go first, sweetheart?” You heard Eric ask which snapped you out of your train of thoughts. Looking around the carnival you saw the area for the prize stuffed animals.

Without any thoughts, you started dragging Eric towards the area ignoring his shoutings which were telling you to slow down.

Stopping at the game you looked at Eric before looking back at the stuffed animals, raising your hand you pointed at the animal you wanted “Can you win the penguin stuffed animal for me?” You ask him.

“Um…yeah sure, why not if that’s what you want sweetheart,” Eric says as he takes the arrows given by the worker and looks at the balloons intently.

He had five arrows and five chances to win the toy. To get it he would have to pop three balloons. Observing the balloons, Eric moved his hair out of his eyes as he threw the first dart.

—x—

“Eric, this is your third time. You really don’t have to go to this extent to get me the toy you know? Why don’t we just go to the Ferris wheel hmm?” You ask him tiredly as you shake his arms.

“Shhh I am trying to concentrate here. You know, as they say, third time’s a charm. If I don’t succeed this time, I will leave it okay?” He says as he starts to throw darts again.

And he did it. He did win you the penguin.

“Here, I told you I would get you this so I did. Do you like it sweetheart?” Eric says as he pats your head gently and softly grips your hand again before he starts walking towards a different area.

Nodding your head you stare at the stuffed toy in your hand lovingly and bring it close to your chest giddily as you hug it close to your body tightly “I love it so much! Thank you for winning this for me. I will always keep it close to me.” You exclaim happily.

“I am glad you like it,” Eric says with a sheepish smile spread across his face, glad that you were happy with the prize he won.

“You wanna try that?” You hear Eric’s voice beam with excitement. Looking up you follow his gaze and see the paintballs area. Giving Eric a knowing smile, both of you run towards the place with your hands still intertwined together tightly.

—x—

Looking around the place cautiously you look down at your bag of colour balloons again. Counting the remaining balloons you take a deep breath in when you realise you still have 10 left. That should do for now then.

Your train of thoughts were interrupted when you felt a cold balloon hit your neck. Snapping your head back you notice Eric standing behind you, a white jumper on which now had a bunch of different colours splashed onto it.

His hair was now messy as he held the dirty, balloon-filled bag in his one hand while his other hand had a balloon.

Looking around frantically you hide behind a huge pipe as you grab a balloon and wait for Eric to show up. Taking a peak you immediately throw the balloon in his direction which in return hits him on his stomach.

You saw Eric running towards your direction, picking your pace up,you started running away only to be caught by him in no time.

“Thought you could get away from me sweetheart?” Eric says as he splashes the balloon on top of your head which makes the paint fly everywhere.

“Okay okay, I am done. I don’t have any more left.” You declare with a defeated sigh. Once Eric lets you go, you take a peek at him only to see him look around the place. Taking that as a chance you grab the last balloon you had and hit it on his head which makes his hair dye the colour of the balloon.

Taking his shock manner as a chance you run away from the scene with laughter blaring through your throat and a content smile spread across your face.

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Sitting on the table placed by the food truck, you stabbed your fork into the pasta that Eric had bought for you. Having a big bite you looked around the place, admiring the lively atmosphere, the little happy giggles coming from the kids who were happily spending time with their families.

You later saw Eric walking towards your direction with a box of donuts in one hand while his other held a large iced cup of cold drink.

Reaching your table he placed both of the stuff on the table as he himself took a seat in front of you in exhaustion.

“Here, have some donuts and cold drinks. The line was so long like who the fuck drinks so much liquid at a carnival?” Eric says in annoyance

You look down at the big cup in your hand and then back at Eric as you slowly keep it back on the table “Well…us.” You tell him awkwardly before you grab the cup again and take a sip from it.

Eric stares at you for a moment before he looks at the cup filled with iced coke, “I mean, other than us, why would anyone want to drink liquid? What if they have to pee after drinking so much coke?” He pointed out as he raised his hand to point at a guy behind you who was peeing by the trees.

Looking away immediately, you glare at Eric in disgust and trauma.

“I did not need to see that thank you very much.” You say sarcastically as you take a bite from the donut which was in front of you. “But why would they pee after drinking coke?”

“Why won’t they? It’s liquid sweetheart. Everyone needs to pee after drinking liquids, be it water, alcohol or cold drinks.” He says as he grabs your donut and takes a bite out of it.

“Hey that’s mine! Grab another one.” You say with a scowl on your face as you throw a nasty glare towards Eric.

“But I bought it!” Eric argues back only to sigh in defeat once he realised that he cannot win against you. “Fine fine, you have it.” He says with a roll of his eyes jokingly before he speaks up again. “So do you have any plans for the Christmas break?” He asks before taking a sip of the cold drink.

“Oh, I am gonna be spending some time with my boyfriend!” You beam with happiness, a cheeky smile resting upon your cheeks.

“What…boyfriend?” He asks with confusion all over his face. I mean from what he can remember you had never mentioned anything to him about you finding a partner, so this was a sudden news for him.

“He’s a bit older, has grey hair and a beard, but rest assured he’s like super hot.” You tell him, a smile still playing upon your lips

“Are you serious right now or…?” Eric asks in concern as he places his hands on top of yours, stopping you from eating “Sweetheart please don’t tell me your boyfriends an old creep. Where is he even from?”

“He’s from a city which is colder than it’s here. He came here for his break to spend some time with me. Cute right?” You give Eric a small smile as you grab a donut and take a bite out of it ignoring the concerned glance Eric was throwing your way.

“Are you actually serious about this or you’re just joking with me and pulling my leg again? If you're, I am telling you, this is not a funny sweetheart.” Eric rambled on as his hold on your hands tightened in worry.

“Of course, I am not serious, but do you know who else is old and hot?” You ask him with peak interest as you lean closer to him trying to build up some suspense for him which you were clearly failing at when you saw Eric looking at you with confusion before he muttered out a small ‘what?’

“Santa.” you say with a straight face. You noticed Eric’s lips twitching upwards as he tried to stop himself from letting out a small smile at your silly response.

“Well thank god you were just joking about that old guy thing.” Eric says with relief washed all over his face as he leaned back on the chair with ease.

“But you have to agree, Santa is really hot and sexy. Like have you seen that beard and that thick figure he has? Like damn daddy, have some mercy on me please.” You say to Eric with a straight face, enjoying the reaction he was giving you.

Eric licked his dry lips as he stayed quiet. Not knowing what to say with your ridiculous statement and the unwanted information he just received about what you think about Santa.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, sweetheart.” Eric says as a small smile lingers on his lips. Man, was he smitten for you?

Yes, yes he was.

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Laying down on your bed you spent the night watching shows. Soyeon lays beside you as she used her phone paying no mind to the ridiculous comments you kept passing to her whenever a character did something insanely stupid or idiotic.

“Oh wait, you never told me how your date went with Eric?” Pausing the show you stared at Soyeon when she beamed at you with such a ridiculous question, a silly smile falling upon her face as she stared at you expectantly waiting for your response.

“What date?” You ask with boredom present in your voice as you stare at the wall, not having the courage to look at Soyeon in the eyes.

“You know! The date with Eric! The carnival!” She says now shaking your arm aggressively as she let out a small whine at your uncooperative ass.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about..” you say in a sing-song voice before you push her away as she dramatically falls off the bed onto the floor.

You heard a gasp leaving her lips, “My butt!” She exclaims.

From the corner of your eyes, you see Soyeon stand up before she grabs your laptop and closes it shut before you can even reply. Grabbing it, she placed it aside on the side table before she slammed her body down on you with force.

“Tell me about your date or else I am not getting up.” She says, her voice coming out muffled since her face was placed onto your shoulder.

“I did not go on a date with Eric first of all! He is just a friend and get off of me! You’re fucking heavy!” You cry out in pain, your voice coming out a bit heavy because of the force Soyeon was putting onto your body, tho half of it was acting she does not have to know about that now, does she?

“Okay okay, whatever you say! Just tell me how your night went with Eric!” Soyeon screams in frustration as she stands up from the floor and looks up at you.

“What do you mean by my night? That sounds so wrong…you make it sound like Eric and I banged together…” you say with a pout as you play with your sleeves acting as if you were shy.

“Well…did you?” She says with suspicion evident on her face and her tone as she squinted her eyes at you while leaning down with her hands on her hips.

“No!” You scream at her as you throw the nearest pillow you caught at her. Throwing a glare in her direction you stay quiet. “Now I don’t feel like telling you about my friendly date with Eric.” You tell her as you show her your tongue and look away from her, sulking.

Hearing you say that, Soyeon groans in frustration as she sits down beside you on the bed again. “Don’t be like this. Tell me please,” she pleads while batting her eyelashes to you, a way to gain your sympathy back.

Groaning at her behaviour you close your eyes with the palms of your hands as a way to protect yourself from the sight in front of you. “Fine! Just stop whatever the fuck that is. It’s making me nauseous geez.” You say with a whine.

Hearing you say that Soyeon immediately stops batting her eyelashes as she sits straight while clearing her throat, “Go on.”

“Well nothing much happened, he won a soft toy for me, played a few games-”

“What kind of games?” Soyeon interrupts you in excitement.

“Paint balls…”

“Aww you guys had a date which was in 10 things I hate about you! So cute!” Soyeon squeals. Looking at her in disbelief and disgust you sigh as you continue what you were saying.

“We then ate, chatted a bit and he dropped me of. That’s it.” You tell her what happened.

“That’s it? No kissing? No nothing?” She says with disappointment in her tone of voice.

“Why would that happen? Come on grow up. Mine and Eric’s love life is way different, and his and my type are also very much different. He likes girls who are much…how do I say it…calm?” You say with a question mark evident on your features.

Soyeon shakes her head in disappointment as she lays down on her back on the bed “When will you both understand about the feelings you guys hold for each other?” Soyeon says mostly to herself but you catch on to it but decide to say nothing on it.

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Sitting at the back of the class you sketch in your notebook as you don’t pay attention to what your classmates are talking about.

Sighing, you look up for a bit and notice Sangyeon entering the classroom, dropping down your pencil on the notebook you wait for Sangyeon to approach you.

Picking up your bag, you keep it aside and wait for Sangyeon to take a seat beside you.

“Hey, what are you doing?” You hear Sangyeon ask you once he reaches your place. Giving him a small smile you look down at your sketchbook and then back up at him

“Nothing, was just sketching. What are you doing here though?” You ask with expectant eyes.

It was not that common for Sangyeon to be in your classes. He was in a different major so it was very uncommon for both of you to cross each other’s paths unless you both met at a party or just in the cafeteria where your other friends would be.

“Are you free this Saturday? Some of us are going out after our afternoon classes. Maybe you could join us?” Sangyeon suggests as he looks into your eyes with expectation

“I don’t know…do we have to bring someone along with us?”

“It’s not necessary, if you want to you can. Eric is bringing this…Yuna girl with him to tag along. You can bring someone if you want. Maybe Soyeon?” Sangyeon gives you a suggestion.

You just stare at him blankly when you hear him say about Eric bringing Yuna with him. You thought they had broken up…but maybe not? It was all just a rumour then, huh?

But what about the time you both spent together that day at the carnival? Was it not a date? Wait of course not, you guys are just friends. That’s it, right? Right?

“He got back together with Yuna?” You question Sangyeon, your voice wavering a bit at the end.

You don’t know why you’re even upset when you hear Sangyeon say this. You should be happy right? Happy for Eric getting back in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend? Happy for his love life at least going somewhere? But you were not happy. Not even a bit.

It’s as if someone had punched you hard in the gut which caused you to stop breathing and you felt like you were gonna faint any moment.

“I…I don’t know. He just said something about him inviting Yuna. I was not paying that much attention. I am sorry but is there something wrong? You don’t look so well right now.” Sangyeon said with concern laced in his voice.

“I am fine, yeah I just…I just need some alone time. I should get going. See you around!” You tell him as you tuck your hair behind your ear and start packing up your stuff.

“Wait! Are you going to come with us on Saturday? You can decline if you don’t want to. It’s alright-” Before Sangyeon could finish his sentence you stopped in your tracks as you turned back around and took a deep breath in before speaking again.

“I will come on Saturday. Don’t worry!” Saying that you rushed out of the classroom to your dorm.

You needed to vent this feeling to someone and there was no other person who could help you other than Soyeon.

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Entering the dorm you looked around the living room for any signs of Soyeon. Calling out her name you heard her voice in the kitchen.

Running towards the kitchen you just stood in front of Soyeon with tear-filled eyes, “I think you were right, So” You say softly as you looked up at the ceiling trying your best not to let your tears flow.

“What are you talking about Y/N? What was I right about? I mean I am always right..” she said in a joking manner but stopped immediately when she saw your tear-stained cheeks.

“I think I do have feelings for my best friend after all…” you say your voice barely above a whisper but Soyeon heard it crystal clear.

“I would have said told you so but looking at your condition, I think I can postpone it.” She says as she walks towards you and holds you in her arms. “Now would you tell me why you’re crying over the fact that you actually do have feelings for Eric? Shouldn’t you be thinking about how to confess to him or something?” She says to you while rubbing your arms to create some kind of warmth and comfort.

“He is…he i…back with Yuna I guess…” you tell her softly as you bury your face in her neck trying to control your uncontrollable sobbing.

“What?? But didn’t he break up with her?” Soyeon asks in shock as she stops rubbing your arms and pulls away from you to take a look at your now red eyes and tear-stained face.

“Well I thought so too but Sangyeon said that he invited Yuna over to the place they’re going on Saturday and I don’t know what to do. What if I lose him? I don’t want that!” You say with panic filling your voice.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let that happen. You and Eric are destined to be together and I know that Yuna is not permanent...I guess. I mean I hope so.” She said as she chuckled nervously while scratching her nape.

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Entering the barbecue place, you immediately noticed your group of friends sitting by a table in a circle. Soyeon decided to tag along with you as she had nothing better to do, I mean better for you.

Reaching the table you noticed that Eric was sitting beside Yuna as they both chatted without even sharing anyone else a glance.

“Oh Y/N! Great, you're here!” You heard Sangyeon beam making you divert your attention to him as you gave him a small smile and took a seat beside him as Soyeon sat beside Sunwoo.

“Yeah me and Soyeon had nothing else to do so thought why not just join you guys.” You say with a small chuckle.

“I am glad. Would you like a drink?” Sangyeon asks as he leans forward to grab a bottle of beer only to be stopped by you.

“No no, it’s okay. I don’t really drink much.” You tell him as you grab his hand so that he doesn’t get the bottle of beer.

“Well if you say so,” Sangyeon says as he pulls back and gets more comfortable beside you.

—x—

The night was still young. Most of the guys were drunk as they sang some songs the whole time while eating.

The whole time you tried your best to not steal glances at Eric but whenever you did, you always saw him chatting with Yuna, and every time you saw that you felt your heart ache in pain. You desired to be there instead of her but that’s not gonna happen, you both are just friends after all.

Looking around the restaurant you started to have trouble breathing. As if you were getting suffocated in there. The place was getting too stuffed for you.

Standing up you excuse yourself from the group as you walk away once you grab your bag and phone.

In the rush of getting yourself out of the place, you failed to notice the pair of eyes which followed your every moment, till he himself stood up and decided to follow you out.

—x—

Sitting down on the footpath with your heels in your hands you stared down at the ground with no thoughts in your mind.

Placing your heels down on the ground, you bring your arms up to cover and warm yourself up by the cold. You were already heartbroken, you wouldn’t want to catch a cold on top of that too knowing he wouldn’t be there to look after you since he is now a taken man.

“Hey,” you hear a voice say behind you. Already knowing that it is none other than Eric you don’t bother enough to look back up at him as you just continue staring ahead of you with no particular thought in mind.

You noticed him take a seat beside you on the footpath by your peripheral vision, you did not even bother enough to say anything back.

“Why are you out here alone? You might catch a cold sweetheart..” Eric says softly before he removes his jacket and places it on top of your shoulders.

Shrugging the jacket off you give it back to him without looking him in the eye. “You don’t have to do this anymore. People might get a wrong idea or something since you’re now back together with Yuna.” You mutter under your breath as you place the jacket on his lap.

“Why are you acting so cold towards me out of nowhere sweetheart?” Eric whispers softly as he tries to hold onto your cold hand only to get pushed away by you.

“Do you not get it? Eric…you’re now back together with Yuna! You cannot act like this with me now. People will think you’re cheating on her or something and I don’t want to be the other woman in a relationship.” You tell him what you had in mind as you take in a deep breath trying not to lash out at him and say something you don’t want to.

“Sweetheart, what me and Yuna have is totally temporary. I like our relationship, I like the fact that you’re my best friend.” You close your eyes in pain when you hear him say that you’re just his best friend. Exactly, nothing more nothing less. Those were also the words you said to Soyeon so why do you loathe these words now? It’s not like the meaning has changed or anything but your feelings surely did.

“That’s the thing Eric, I…” you inhale a deep breath in as you stop yourself from saying what you have been meaning to say. Yes, you liked Eric but ruining your friendship with him just for that is not worth it. Because even if you do get into a relationship with him, which is nearly impossible, what if you both break up? Your friendship and your relationship would be ruined forever.

“Sweetheart, please tell me. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up.” Eric says as he leans forward towards you and brings your body closer to his warmer one as he held your shoulders in a tight grip while giving your forehead light kisses to calm you down.

Just being in his arms at that moment made you break down in front of him. Your eyes immediately turned red, your nose turning a shade of pink as your cheeks started to get stained with your tears.

You saw Eric raising his other hand as he gently wiped your tears away, “Just tell me when you’re ready. I am always here for you.” Eric says softly

Taking a deep breath in you collect yourself together as you lean away from his warm embrace, you immediately feel the cold envelop you making your hands shake from the cold.

“Eric I…I like you. I never thought that I would ever have feelings for you in this way but the more time we spend together, the more my feelings grew. I always denied this feeling whenever Soyeon said anything but when I heard Sangyeon tell me that you’re back together with Yuna…I just felt my stomach drop. I felt hurt all over, I could not breathe properly because that was the time I realised that…that maybe I like you more than a friend. Now I know that we would never get together because of our differences but I just feel like you needed to know about this since well you’re my best friend and I tell you everything. I totally understand if you need some time away from me since this might have been a shock for you but please, don’t break up our friendship.” You say everything you ever wanted to let Eric know. You knew that this was probably a bad decision but you just had to let him know. “I should go now…see you around?”

You were about to get up when you felt a hand grip your wrist stopping you from getting up. Looking down at your wrist you noticed Eric holding onto it.

“Do you really like me?” He says as he leans closer towards you, his hand still gripping your wrist. Nodding a bit, you notice him lean even more closer as he leaves your hand and grabs a hold of your cheeks.

Both of his hands cradles your cheeks as he holds them delicately, staring deep into your eyes his gaze moves down towards your lips before he looks back up at you.

Placing your hand on his chest, you stop him before he manages to kiss you, “You cannot do this. You’re in a relationship with Yuna, it’s…it’s wrong.”

Groaning at your answer Eric goes back to his original place not having the energy to argue at what you said because no matter what, he was not a man who would cheat on a woman to be with another.

He was gonna kiss you because he was not in the right state of mind, right? Not because he might also be having feelings for you? No, he wouldn’t, if he did he would not have been in a relationship with Yuna.

“Oh Y/N! Great, you're here…with Eric?” You hear a voice say behind you. Looking back you notice Sangyeon coming out with a drunk Soyeon leaning on his shoulders.

Giving him a small wave you stand up from the footpath and walk towards him before getting a hold of Soyeon. “Yeah. I was just about to leave, I can take Soyeon back home. You can go back in and enjoy.” You tell him as you give him a soft smile.

“No, let me drop you off. Soyeon is already drunk so I will just drive you back to your dorm. I have my car with me.” Sangyeon says before he starts walking away with Soyeon still in his hold only to stop midway and turn back around to look at Eric. “You might want to go in and check up on your girlfriend Eric. She’s drunk and trying to kiss Sunwoo…” Sangyeon tells Eric with slight disappointment laced in his tone.

Giving Sangyeon a small nod, Eric looks at you with a longing gaze as he watches you walk away with Sangyeon and Soyeon.

Heading back towards the restaurant he opens the door and sighs tiredly when he sees Yuna babbling some incoherent words because of how drunk she is.

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Sitting by the kitchen counter you stare at Soyeon as she drinks the coffee you made for her.

“I am having such a bad headache…” she mumbles as she takes the last sip of the coffee and places the cup down on the table before she diverts her attention to you.

“So…are you gonna tell me about what happened yesterday or?” You breathe out a sigh as you place your head on your palms in agony.

“I confessed to Eric…” you tell her the truth. You could hear her let out a small gasp in surprise as she stood up from her seat and sat down beside you.

“What did he say?” She asks with her hands on your shoulder before she forcefully makes you face her.

“Nothing…but I think he was gonna kiss me if I had not stopped him..” you say with a frown resting upon your lips before you shrug off her hands and gaze at the floor.

“He what??!” Soyeon screams in shock, “You know what Y/N? I cannot look at you being heartbroken like this anymore. Why don’t you go on a date? Maybe that would make you feel better.” Soyeon says as a suggestions

“But I don’t think it would be fair for the other person knowing I still have feelings for someone else…” you tell her.

“It’s just one date. If you don’t like him you don’t have to go again and it’s not a big deal. He’s a friend of my friend so it won’t affect anyone. What do you say?” She asks as she stands up from her place and grabs her phone to make a few quick phone calls.

“If you say so…”

“Well, it’s done then! I will inform my friend to let her friend know about this.” Soyeon tells you with a smile resting on her lips. Returning the smile you look away from her and stare out the window with thoughts flooding your mind.

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Sitting alone in the bar you looked around in discomfort. Maybe coming to a bar alone with a man you just met today really was a bad idea? I mean...you did not know him personally except for the fact that Soyeon was a friend of his friend.

Agreeing to come to this date really made you fall back into this slump you were in. Because your love life was so bad that you had to go to this extent, meet up with a guy you barely knew, only for him to turn out to be this crazy person.

I mean, no one would want to be cramped in a car with 5 men they never met only to smell all the weed and cigarettes they were smoking on your face as they leaned onto you with no care in the world. This would barely even be considered as a date. Because who in their right mind does this on their first date? Does this person even know that this was a date?

Being lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice the now-approaching man, the man Soyeon thought would be good enough for now. I mean you cannot blame her completely because she did not know how he was.

Her friend told her that he was a good guy so Soyeon thought it was a perfect opportunity to match you up with him. Oh boy, Soyeon was gonna have it from you once you reach back home.

“We’re planning on going to the pool which is nearby. Come on, let’s go.” You felt startled when you heard him say that. Because no way in hell would you want to go to some random pool with a bunch of strangers who were high and drunk. You were sooo dreading this night you were in.

“I think I will pass on that. I will just leave now but thanks for the offer, Jonah.” You say with a slight smile as you start gathering your stuff, which is not much considering you only had your sling bag and phone with you.

“Oh let me drop you off…” he did not get to finish his sentence as he trailed off once his attention went back to his group of friends who did not seem to have a sense of reality whatsoever.

“It’s okay. It looks like your friends need you more than me. I will be fine.” You reassure him as you watch him walk out of the bar with his friends without looking back.

Sighing you open your wallet to pay for the beverage you bought for yourself.

“Fuck…,” Standing up from your seat you approach the nearest waitress you say, “Hi, could you tell me where the nearest ATM is?” You ask nervously.

“Oh, it’s a few blocks down, but I wouldn’t recommend walking there alone at night in this area. Many crazy stories about this place you know?” She says that as she walks away with a tray of drinks in her hand.

Sighing deeply, you slump down on your seat again as you stare at the contacts on your phone.

You most definitely did not want to call him knowing he was with his dear, bitchy girlfriend. But you had no option. It’s not like you want to risk your life going out in search of an ATM to take out some money. You had enough adventure today as it was.

You hated yourself for only thinking about him the whole time, the fact that he was the first person to come to your mind when you got yourself in this situation.

Biting on your nails, you nervously clicked on his contact name before putting your phone close to your ear, waiting for him to pick up as you looked around the bar once more.

“Hi, Eric. It's me…are you free right now?” You ask nervously. You tried paying attention to his background noises. So far, you could not hear a sound. The good thing was that you did not hear his annoying girlfriend's voice which made you feel somewhat better.

“Yes, yes I am. Are you in trouble or something?” He replied as you heard some shuffling noises coming from the background as if he was in a hurry.

“Yes, I am stuck in this bar and I have no cash with me and these people don’t accept credit cards and you were the first person who came in my mind to contact. I am so sorry if I am disturbing you.” You kept on rambling on as you felt as if you were a burden to him. I mean…you should be able to take care of yourself, but instead, you were asking your best friend to come pick you up from this unknown place you were stuck in.

And knowing what you two almost did yesterday made this situation all the more awkward for you.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Just send me your location, I am already in the car.” You heard Eric say. Ending the call you send him your location as you look around the bar while hugging your body.

—x—

“Eric!” You call out his name once you see him enter the bar.

“Hey, oh god thank god you’re okay. So what happened? What are you doing here?” He asks as he sits down in front of you.

“I feel so stupid, so Soyeon had this friend who knew this guy I was on a somewhat date with. From what Soyeon said the guy was in diapers or something.”

“The boy was in diapers?” Eric asks questionably as he looks at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“No, Soyeon said her friend knew him when he was in diapers but that’s not the point. I thought this date might go well, I might get myself a potential boyfriend, but no! The boy turned out to be a maniac. He was drinking, and smoking and god I hope he did not do drugs and that’s when I realised, that these are the last people I want to spend my last moments on Earth with. Like no what if I die in a car crash with them? I don’t want that and did I tell you how stupid I felt? Because I thought it was going to be a nice date but it turns out he had brought his friends with him and then oh god…” you sigh in frustration as you lay your head on your arms, tired from the events. “And I did not even eat anything since breakfast and I am starving but I have no money. How pathetic can I be?” You say to yourself while you stomp your foot on the ground in agony.

“Uh, I have money. I can pay for the meal, what do you want?” Eric asks softly as he asks for the menu to the waitress passing by.

“Do you want this to go on the tab?” She asks while handing out the menu to Eric. Looking at her in confusion, Eric stares back at you thinking you would know what she was talking about. “Oh, the card is still open. You can still order.” She says with a smile.

Giving Eric a look you look down at the menu. “Put your wallet away. Would you like to start with starters??” You ask Eric as you already start pointing out the dishes you want to have.

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“Whoa, I am full after having all of that.” You announce once both of you are seated in the car. Putting on your seatbelt you stare out the window.

“So um should I drop you off at your dorm?” Eric asks once he starts the car.

Looking back at him, you give him a nod. You knew he wanted to talk about that day again but you also knew about the fact that if he does bring it up, there is a huge possibility that you would have a breakdown.

The whole car ride there was silence. Both of you did not speak a single word to each other. To make the situation less awkward Eric did play the songs on the radio on low volume.

Reaching your dorm, you undo your seatbelt as you stare ahead of you not knowing what to say anymore.

“So um see you around I guess?” You hear Eric says as he breaks the awkward silence. Looking at him, you nod your head as you put your hand on the car door to unlock it only to get stopped in the middle.

“Wait, Y/N! I need to let you know something…” Eric speaks up before you could even leave the car.

You could feel him grab onto your hand as he made you sit back down on the seat.

“I hope you know that I do like you. I know that I said I only look at you as my best friend but…but maybe I feel something more than that? I am still trying to understand my feelings for you completely but please don’t shut me out like this. I don’t think I can ever go on with my life without you.” Eric says as he leans forward towards you and gently places his hand on your cheeks before he looks into your eyes.

“Please don’t leave me like this, sweetheart.” Eric whispers softly. Your gaze unknowingly travels to his lips as you bring your lips closer to his.

Softly placing your lips onto his you start moving them in sync with each other, his chapped lips on your soft ones felt like a perfect pair to you.

Bringing your hands up to his chest you deepen the kiss more, moving your lips in sync you could feel his hands roaming all over your body.

Entangling your hands with his hair you pull on them a bit making Eric open his mouth which gave you an access to enter your tongue in.

You could feel both of your tongue’s fighting each other when you suddenly snapped out of it and pushed Eric away from you.

From the corner of your eyes, you could feel Eric look at you with a hurt gaze but before he could even speak up you had already opened the car door and stepped out of it, “See you around!” You say that in a hurry as you close the door with a small thud and walk away from there to your dorm.

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Closing the main door you slide down with your back against it. Bringing your hand up to your chest you hold it as you take in a few deep breaths.

“Y/N! Are you home?” You heard Soyeon shout from the living room. Not giving her an answer back you just stay on the floor not knowing what to do anymore.

You did not know why you did whatever you did back there. I mean kissing a taken man? That’s not good. Then making out with him? That’s worse.

“Oh god! Y/N! What happened??” You hear Soyeon shout in distress as runs towards you before sitting herself down on the floor with you.

“Did something happen at the date? Oh god, I am so sorry. I should have asked my friend more about that guy before setting you up. Did he turn out to be a total creep and a jerk?” Soyeon rambles off before she helps you take off your coat while you were still on the floor.

“I kissed him..” you tell her with your eyes staring at the wall which was in front of you, “I kissed him Soyeon and he’s…he’s taken. I am horrible…” you say with your voice wavering at the end.

You could feel the tears sliding down your cheeks which you did not bother enough to wipe.

“You kissed Jonah? Why?” Soyeon says in confusion as she takes a seat beside you before bringing her legs close to her chest as she rests her head on her knees and stares at you.

Slowly bringing her hand up she pulls your head towards her as she gently places it on her shoulder.

“I kissed Eric…” you say softly.

“What…but isn’t he?” Soyeon did not bother enough to complete her sentence.

“Exactly! I am so horrible. I cannot believe I let my feelings get the best of me. He practically cheated on Yuna with me…” you say with a crack in your voice. Sniffling, you look at Soyeon with sadness feeling your eyes. “Please don’t leave me just for this. I promise I am not a horrible person.” You cry out before your sobs grew harsher with each second.

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Sitting in the cafeteria alone you kept on playing with your food. It had been days since your last encounter with Eric.

He had not been coming to school ever since you guys kissed in his car, some part of you was glad that he did not attend the school because then that meant you wouldn’t have to face him but the other part of you was rather more worried about him.

All those what if’s returning to your mind, is he hurt, is he sick, did he wrap himself up in some kind of trouble? But your questions were left unanswered.

Sighing, you grab your bag as you start walking away from the cafeteria to the place where Eric’s best friend would most certainly be at.

You had to know if Eric was alright, all you needed to hear from them was that ‘Yes Y/N, Eric is alright. You don’t have to worry too much.’ That would at least make you worry less and not stress over anything.

Reaching the back of the school you see Juyeon and Sunwoo talking with each other as they played some video games on their phone.

Walking towards them, you stand in front of them grabbing their attention “Oh hey Y/N, what makes you come here?” Juyeon asks with his eyes still glued to the screen.

“Nothing, I just wanted to know something. That’s all. Could you stop playing for a moment and pay attention?” You ask both of them, now getting annoyed at their behaviour and lack of attention.

Pausing the game Juyeon and Sunwoo look up at you with a confused face, “What’s up?” Sunwoo says awkwardly. Not knowing how to react to your sudden appearance

“Do you know where Eric is?” You ask them the question straight away. Not having the energy to beat around the bush anymore.

“Ah, did you not call him?” Juyeon says as if it was a normal thing for you. I mean normally it was, but not after you kissed your best friend and then walked away when you got back to your senses knowing that he is taken.

“If I would have called him I wouldn’t have been here now, would I Juyeon?” You say sarcastically as you flick his forehead in irritation and also because of how stupid his question was.

“Ow sorry and to answer your question Eric caught a…a cold a few days back so he was taking a break?” Juyeon says to you. From the way he was talking, it felt as if he himself did not know what he just said.

Looking back at Sunwoo you throw a glare in his direction when you notice him laughing at Juyeon. Seeing you look at him like that he immediately stopped laughing as he looked down at the ground too scared to look you in the eyes.

“Fine then, if that’s what you say so.” Saying that to them you walk away from the place with numerous thoughts floating in your mind.

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The next day when you entered the school hallway with Soyeon by your side, your eyes moved all over the place in search of Eric.

Walking towards your locker with Soyeon you noticed Eric standing by the class door with Juyeon, talking with him.

Handing all your books to Soyeon, you took big steps towards Eric, “Eric! Wait!” You shouted out his name only to get no response in return.

What you did not expect was for him to walk right past you without sparing you a glance. Stopping dead in your tracks you move your body around and stare at Eric’s figure walking away.

You noticed Juyeon turning his head back and looking at you with sympathy as he mouthed out a ‘sorry’ on behalf of Eric you suppose.

Giving him a small nod and a wave, you go towards Soyeon again as you take your books back from her hands, “Let’s go?” You say quietly as you start walking away from the place without letting her speak anything any further.

“I am sorry…” Soyeon says to you softly as he interlocks her hands with yours as she starts walking with you.

Giving her a smile you look down at the ground not knowing what to do anymore.

You knew you messed up when you initiated the kiss first. But did Eric really have to ignore you like that?

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It had been a few days since you last saw Eric again, he has been really irregular at school so confronting him face-to-face was not an option.

You tried everything, you called him, texted him, hell you even went over to his house but there was no answer.

The more time passes, the more worried you’re getting. Is he avoiding you on purpose? Is all of this happening just because of you? All you wanted to do at this point was make everything right but you could not do that. Not with the way Eric was treating you.

Is he now avoiding you on purpose? There were so many thoughts in your mind, so many questions but they remained unanswered.

Groaning in frustration you grab your coat and storm out of the house to go over at Juyeon’s. You were gonna get answers from him today, if he does not give you a proper answer you won’t let him off the hook and that’s for sure.

—x—

Stopping your car in front of his house, you stare at his front door with hesitation filling your body. Should you really be doing this? What if you’re crossing the boundary by doing this? Is this too much? Probably not right? I mean Eric did not break off your friendship with him just yet.

Stepping out of the car you lock it as you take slow, hesitant steps towards Juyeon’s house.

Ringing the doorbell, you wait for him to open the door. Okay, there’s still some time. You can just turn around and leave the place right now. That way you won’t have to confront him about Eric again.

Getting ready to turn around you were stopped by a voice calling out your name, “Y/N! Surprised to see you here…what brings you here tho?” You hear Juyeon ask with surprise laced in his tone of voice.

Looking at him with an awkward smile plastered on your face, you lick your lips thinking of the right words to say to him.

“May I come in first?” You say nervously as you shift your weight from one foot to another.

“Yeah sure, you’re always welcome. Come in…” Juyeon says as he steps aside for you to enter his house.

Removing your coat, Juyeon takes it from your hand and hangs it on the coat hanger as he leads you towards the living room.

“Want some hot chocolate? I was making some for myself…” Juyeon says as he walks towards the kitchen with you tailing behind him.

Taking a seat by the counter you shake your head as a no as you clear your throat, “I am here to speak with you about something that has been bugging me…” you tell him before you stare at his back.

You notice how he stopped pouring the hot chocolate into his cup before he turned around to give you his full attention, “Is this about Eric?” Juyeon asks slowly before he takes a seat in front of you.

Nodding your head you suck in a deep breath, “You see, I have been trying to reach him for days but he isn’t responding to any of my texts or calls. I even went over to his house but there was no answer. I know he is your closest friend and the fact that he shares everything with you so I probably know that you must be having an idea on why he is doing this. Please just tell me…” you say on the verge of tears.

“Y/N I don’t know if I have the right to tell you about what’s happening with Eric right now. Look, I know what you’re going through is really tough but…” juyeon stops talking when he sees the tears coming out of your eyes. “Y/N no…” Juyeon sighs softly as he stands up from his seat and pulls out a chair to sit down beside you.

“We’ve always shared everything, you know? And him just shutting me out like this suddenly pains me. I know I was at fault for kissing him but I regret it immensely right now because I certainly know that I might have ruined his relationship with Yuna. Look, all I want to do right now is just make things right with him. Just tell me where he is and I promise I won’t trouble you again.” You beg to him, sniffing you look at Juyeon with your red eyes and nose.

“If you say so. Eric’s at the hospital, his dad's been severely ill for the past few weeks which has led to him missing out on school and everything. Now I know that I told you this but don’t tell Eric. He did not want you to worry too much about him.” Juyeon says as he stands up and brings you a glass of water.

Getting a hold of the glass you take a few sips as you place the glass down on the counter again. “Thank you so much.” You say as you stand up from your chair, “Are you guys gonna plan something for his birthday tomorrow?” You ask him right before leaving.

Thinking for a bit Juyeon shakes his head as a no “He did not want us to do anything this time. He said he would be too busy tomorrow to even think about that.”

Nodding to his words you grab onto the door handle only to get stopped when Juyeon spoke again “Hey Y/N…”

Turning around you look at Juyeon with a slight frown on your face, “Yeah?”

“Please take care of yourself…” he says softly before giving your back a gentle pat.

Nodding to his words with a small smile on your face you open the door and walk towards your car, now somewhat feeling relieved.

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Standing in front of the hospital you look down at the cake which you had bought just for Eric. You knew that he would be busy looking after his father so the least you could do for now is buy him a cake so he can at least celebrate his birthday today.

Entering the hospital you go to the receptionist. “Hi, I am looking for Eric Sohn, his father was admitted recently.” You tell the woman sitting at the front.

You see her slide down her glasses as she stares at you for a minute or so before she starts flipping through the pages in front of her with no questions asked.

“Mr.Sohn is on the first floor, room number 111 and here’s your visiting ID. Do not lose it.” She says sternly before she goes back to doing her work.

Nodding at her words, you immediately scurry away from there.

Entering the elevator you press on the first floor button as you wait in silence. You did not know what to say to Eric once you met him.

You guys were never this awkward. Even when the first time you both met, the conversation with you both just flowed right.

Never did you ever think you would be in such an awkward position when it came to Eric and this just made you feel worse than you already were.

—x—

Reaching the floor you start walking towards the room Eric’s dad was in.

Standing in front of the door you stare at the scene in front of you through the glass window.

There stood Eric holding his dad's hand in his own hands as he spoke to himself. You could see that he was shaking, probably because of the cold or the fact that he was in fact crying.

Knocking on the door you wait for Eric to look up at you, once he did divert his attention in your direction you could feel yourself forgetting how to breathe when you saw his face.

He looked pale, probably a bit thinner than he used to. He most certainly lost a bit of weight which made you feel like you just hit rock bottom because why were you not with him when he needed someone by his side the most?

Taking a step back, you wait for Eric to collect himself together because obviously, this was a shock for him seeing you here in the flesh after not responding or talking with you for days.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Eric asks you once he comes out of the room after trying to make himself look presentable enough.

“It’s your birthday, so I brought you a cake.” You say with a smile playing upon your face as raise your hand up to show him the bag which had his favourite cake in it.

“Who told you about me being here?” Eric asks, his voice sounding serious yet it still held that gentleness in him that he always has when talking with you.

“That does not matter. What matters is that I am here for you right now. Please just…just celebrate your birthday with me?” You ask him softly as you walk backwards and sit on the seats which were placed outside. “Look I know you’re in a rough spot right now, but all I ask from you today is for you to spare a few minutes max to max and just celebrate your birthday. I promise I won’t ever trouble you again.” You say the last line with difficulty.

Sighing Eric walks towards you as he sits down beside you. Closing his eyes he makes a wish as he blows out the candles which you had lit for him.

Opening them up, Eric cuts the cake as he feeds you a piece of it.

—x—

Taking a stroll on the rooftop of the hospital, both of you talked with each other about what you have been missing out on.

You kept Eric updated on all the things that have been happening in school since he has been missing out a lot. You told him how Soyeon almost choked Sunwoo because of how annoying he was. In her defence, Sunwoo had no reason to keep on troubling her and in the end, Sunwoo did get what he deserved.

You also promised to keep him updated on all the classes he has been missing out on despite being from different majors, which Eric was immensely grateful for.

Stopping by the railings, you and Eric stared at the night sky, the moon which was now shining brightly as you looked for stars that were covered by the clouds.

“Y/N, I have been meaning to tell you this…” you hear Eric say with a serious voice. Turning your gaze to him you notice him looking at you with no expressions on his face.

“Look, I…I like you sweetheart. I really do. The time we spent apart these past few days, I understood my feelings towards you. But at the moment, I really don’t have the time to commit to a proper relationship yet. I don’t think I have it in me to be in a committed relationship and with everything going on, I don’t know if I can truly give you the proper attention you deserve. I know you like me, I like you too but…now’s not the right time. I don’t even know when my dad will be all better. Hell, I don’t even know if I can still come to school regularly. I am so sorry.” Eric says as a tear rolls down his pale cheek.

Wiping the lone teardrop, you give him a small broken smile as you immediately take a step back, too afraid you would do something you would regret later on.

“Well, at least you told me about this.” You say as you sniffle. Looking up at the dark sky you try to keep your tears in which Eric immediately took a notice of.

“No, no please don’t cry because of me, sweetheart..” Eric says softly as he immediately engulfs your smaller figure in his own warm one as he tries his best to comfort you by keeping your body close to his and hugging you tightly.

Pushing him away gently you take another step back before you give him a shake of your head. “I think it’s best if I leave now…” you say, your voice wavering a bit at the end “Happy Birthday though…” you say with a small smile.

Saying that you immediately walk away from there, not having enough courage or the energy to look Eric in the eye after what he just said.

You knew you should not have kissed him. This is all because of you, and now because of this small mistake, you lost a friendship that you used to value and love so deeply.

Meanwhile all Eric did was watch you walk away from him with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Kneeling down on the ground he brought his knees closer to his chest as he started sobbing, his body shaking violently with each sob leaving his mouth.

All he wanted at that moment was for your arms to be around his body, hug him closely but that was not possible since you were not there with him anymore. He had lost you, forever.

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Entering the dorm, you don’t care enough to inform Soyeon about your arrival. Entering your room you slump down on your bed with a tired sigh leaving your mouth.

You could feel your body giving up, you don't even know what you’re going to do anymore at this point. You did everything you could to make things right but nothing worked.

What if you would have not went over to Juyeon’s house, would things right now be different, maybe even better? Or maybe if you would not have gone over to Eric today, to celebrate his birthday this would not have even happened.

Biting onto your pillow you stop yourself from letting out the sobs you were dying to let out. You knew Soyeon was sleeping right now, you did not want to be a burden to her anymore.

“Y/N? Are you okay babe?” You heard Soyeon’s soft voice speaking through the doorway as she slowly opened the door to your room and let herself in.

“No Y/N…” Soyeon says mostly to herself as she immediately joins you on your bed. Lying down beside you, she hugged your body closer to hers from the back as she patted your head whispering sweet things in your ear, hoping that would calm you down.

“I am so pathetic, So…I just…I wish I could just die right now. I cannot believe I just ruined my friendship with Eric. I…” you could not even get yourself to finish the sentence as you let out harsh sobs, not being able to control them anymore “I ruined everything…” you say as a hiccup leaves your mouth.

“Shh, Y/N if anything Eric is also with you in this. It’s not like the kiss was one-sided. He kissed you back…” Soyeon says as she continues to pat your head.

The entire night, all you could remember was crying your eyes out as you spoke incoherent words to Soyeon. You knew you were gonna have a puffy face and a bad headache tomorrow morning.

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It was the 31st today, the day everyone would be rejoicing since in less than 24 hours it would be the start of a new year, a new chapter of everyone’s life, a new beginning to something beautiful for some people, sour reality for some of them since they were dreading this time of the year since their whole lives.

For you it was no different, you were not in the mood to celebrate with your friends, and you did not have the energy to even leave the comforts of your bed after everything that has been happening in your life.

It was just you, your bed, your laptop with your favourite TV show on loop and the cup of hot coffee that was with you since day one.

“Are you sure you’re just going to be okay to stay here all alone on the new year?” Soyeon asks you as soon as she enters your room. Giving her a nod you wave her goodbye.

—x—

Checking your phone, you frowned in confusion when you saw 20 missed calls by Eric. 20 missed calls? At this time of the day? By Eric? Why would he even call you?

Immediately dialling his number, you wait for him to pick up the call only to get sent off to voicemail.

Getting worried you get out of your bed in a hurry as you grab your car and house keys and head towards the door.

Opening the door you jump back in surprise when you see Eric standing in front of you with his hands placed on his knees as he took deep breaths in while trying to catch his breath.

“Why…why the hell were you…not picking up your calls!?” Eric shouts at you while still trying to catch his breath.

Standing up properly, he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand before he looked you in your eyes, “Are you free?” Eric asks once he his breathing had gone back to normal.

Looking down at the attire you were wearing, you stare back up at Eric with an awkward smile. “Well looking at the fact that I am in my pyjamas I think I am free yeah.” You notice Eric roll his eyes playfully as he enters your house and grabs your coat which was hanging on the coat hanger.

“Wear this. It’s cold outside…” Eric whispers in your ears as he helps you wear the coat.

“Where are we going though?” You ask Eric, noticing the impatience.

“Just start walking will ya?” Eric says as he grabs your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours unknowingly.

—x—

You both had been walking on the twinkling footpath since the last few minutes. The silence had engulfed you both but this time it felt more comfortable rather than awkward.

You looked around the busy streets of the road as everyone was out there celebrating the last day of the year with their loved ones.

Reaching a calmer and quieter street you looked around the place when you noticed that there was no one around and it was just the two of you there.

“Okay sweetheart, what I am about to tell you, just please listen to me before you say anything okay?” You hear Eric say. Turning around to face him you notice Eric taking a seat on the grass as he stares ahead at the scenery which is in front of him. “Come sit.” He says as he pats the place beside him.

Sitting down beside him you screech in surprise when Eric pulls you closer to his body while grabbing onto your waist. “That’s better,” Eric whispered softly before he took a deep breath in.

“I missed you…” he says softly as he straightens out the strands of your hair which were flying around everywhere.

Looking him in the eye you softly respond to him “I missed you too. All I did was think about you since our last encounter and I…I am sorry.” You whisper that, afraid your voice would break if you speak any louder.

“I wanted to tell you something, I just couldn’t get myself to say it out loud because I was afraid something would happen.” You give him a look of encouragement, a sign for him to continue speaking which he caught on immediately.

“I love you Y/N, I knew that when we were away from each other and I was sure of my feelings for you when we had that talk on the rooftop of the hospital. I was just so caught up in the fact that my dad was on the verge of dying I unknowingly pushed you away. I knew I left you in the dark after just disappearing after we had kissed that day in my car and that was no way in hell right but…I was just so much in denial about the fact that I love you more than a friend. I was freaking out over the fact that I might lose you if our relationship does not go well, I was afraid that I would mess it all up when we got together but when we had a talk on my birthday, I realised that you’re the only person I will ever love this much, I just love the way you smile when I make a stupid joke even though it was not funny. I was afraid that if I confessed my feelings we would not be able to spend Christmas together, which we did not because of my stupidity. I missed the time when we would bake the cookies on Christmas Eve, I missed the time when we would wrap the gifts we bought for our friends for the Christmas even though they were utterly ridiculous but most of all, I missed spending time with you sweetheart. I missed hearing your sweet voice, I missed the fact that you were not the first person who wished me a Merry Christmas. I love you Y/N. I truly do and this time, I am ready to commit. Commit for us and for this relationship we would have in the future. Would you take the honours and be my girlfriend?” Eric says as breaks down in tears at the end of the sentence.

Grabbing his cheeks, you make him look up as you lean closer and place your lips on top of his, you could taste the saltiness of his tears but the sweet taste of the lip balm he was wearing.

Smiling in the kiss, you move closer to him as you move your hands towards his neck as you pull him closer towards you. You could feel the slight smile that appeared on his lips.

Being lost in the kiss, you both failed to notice the snow that had started to fall, that was until you saw the small snow that rested on Eric’s nose which made you let out a small giggle.

“What’s so funny sweetheart?” Eric says between the kiss as he kisses you deeper, not even letting you answer the question he had just asked.

Pulling away, you look at Eric with a wide smile resting on your cheeks, your smile reaching your eyes, his favourite kind of smile of yours truly.

“Is that a yes then?” Eric asks as a giggle escapes his lips. Giving him a small nod you peck his red nose as you let out a small laugh.

“See, I can be the one for you sweetheart.” Eric says with a silly smile on his face before he starts peppering your face with kisses making you fall down on the grass as laughter blares through the quiet place.

“I never said you couldn’t…” you say with laughter. “I love you, Eric Sohn…” you whisper softly as you look up at him while lying down on the ground, as Eric stared down at you while being above you.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Eric whispers the last words as he kisses you deeply.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

[he-goes-down]

Our Last Summer

- irl friend req

Masterlist

Pairing:

Duff Mckagan x reader x Slash

Warnings: threesome, sex in the pool, unprotected p in v, anal, smut with plot

Second Person POV:

It was the middle of the day, the guys had invited you over for a swim, a thing they do now regularly as it’s summer and they had a pool installed in the backyard. You rocked up to their place, wearing a light purple and blue bikini under a white crocheted shawl that you used as a skirt. Opening the already unlocked door, stepping inside with two plastic bags, one with extra clothes and the other with booze. You put the booze on the kitchen counter and tossed your clothes bag in Izzy’s room as you were normally in there, being best friends after all. You got to the threshold of the door to the backyard and Izzy spotted you. Laying on one of the lounge chairs, under an umbrella, he’s such a vampire sometimes. He got up from the chair and walked towards you, and you got closer as well. “You’re wearing the bikini I picked out!” He said in awe. His eyes under his sunglasses scanning you up and down. “Mhm..” You responded with a smile as you began to untie your shawl. “Ah! You’re here!” You heard Axl from the end of the pool, ready to jump in, he was already wet so it seemed like a canon-ball competition, one he always looses. The rest of the guys heard Axl’s call and turned to your direction to look at you. All them happy to see you and all of them eyeing you up and down as they could fully see your body in the bikini. You went to the edge of the pool and asked Izzy to put sunscreen on your back as you finished lathering the placing you could reach. His hands massaging your skin, which felt quite nice. Slash and Duff we’re watching this scene, their emotions unknown but definitely not in a positive light

You got into the pool and swam around with Steven, doing laps underwater and you won every time, except once when Axl took you by your leg and pulled you back. Izzy did get in the pool at a stage, he just wanted to finish a cig before he did so. You on the other hand didn’t know he was getting in the pool, you were laughing and splashing with Slash and Duff until you felt someone come from under you and hoister you on their shoulders. Izzy was the culprit of course. You continued to fight the two others, now fighting in teams of two. But in the end Slash and Duff both gave each other a knowing nod and pushed Izzy over taking you with him. These chicken fights happened a few times as Steven and Axl joined, switching around the teams each round and for obvious reasons anyone on Duff’s shoulders were sure to win.

Although when evening started to fall you went back inside for a meal and a few drinks. Still all in your costumes as you ate and drank. It was now night, the food had all digested and sank, although the alcohol still stayed up in your head. Axl and Slash went outside again for a night swim, they were drunk enough to do something stupid but not enough to drown and sink to the bottom of the pool. You heard some yelling but then a big splash after so thinking nothing of it. Until the rest of you were called. You were last to exit the house as you put away the dishes. Everyone was back in the pool, but something was different. You saw the scattered swimming trunks in the side of the pool. ‘Jesus christ’ you thought in a laugh. “Come in doll, the water’s really nice.” Izzy cooed, calling you over. You went to the edge of the pool about to step in, but you thought ‘fuck it.’, taking a step back, taking off your bikini pieces. All of them now fully sober and paying attention to you as you got in the pool.

Now fully submerged in the water, not trying to get too close to any of them. But Izzy came up behind you, holding your waist. You blushed hard, you didn’t know what to feel. You just giggled it off as the two of you began chatting, you trying your hardest not to look at him but him trying hard to show you that he wasn’t looking but his eyes were very focused on your body. Duff and Slash noticed Izzys wandering eyes on you body as you now stood in-front of him. Both Duff and Slash swam over, talking a bit before asking Izzy to go get more drinks. Now you in between Duff and Slash all of your laid with your arms crossed at the edge of the pool. Now you were really trying not to look down at them, you had never seen them in anyway naked. You had seen Izzys once when he was off his rocket drunk and you had to change him into other clothes. Your eyes did have a quick peak at both their bodies, and something more specific. You were thankful you were in a body of water so they couldn’t notice how wet you were.

“Hey where’s Axl?” Slash asked, scanning the dark pool, the only light was the far away blue pool light and the lights of the house. “And Steven.” You added. But soon enough you heard drunken giggles from inside the house. It was now just the three of you left and the three swimming costumes on the other edge if the pool. “And where’s Izzy with the drinks anyway?” You asked. Duff shrugged but gave a secret look to Slash which he reciprocated. Again hearing another voice from inside the house, not a voice, a noise. Snoring. Whenever Izzy is drunk he will sometimes collapse into a catnap but wake everyone else up with his loud snoring. All three of you laughed as you realised the noise

After more chatting, the tension from your naked bodies close to each-other sparked dirty conversations. About experience, would you rathers, casual flirts. The pools water was now getting replaced with a pool of lust.

“Have you ever…” Duff thought of a question. “Had sex in a pool?” He finished. You answered quickly, “Not a pool but in the ocean.” Both of them looked at you quizzically. “Never again, too much sand.” You added. “What have you ever Duffles?” You nicknamed. “Twice.” “Slash?” You asked after Duffs answer. “Yep, a few times, mostly in hot tubs though.” He told you. After a few more questions on details. “Would you ever?” Slash asked. “Ever what?” Your brow lifted. “Have pool sex.” He informed. “Wouldn’t mind.”

You knew exactly where this was going. If you weren’t holding yourself up by your arms, your legs would have been so weak that you would sink. Your mind was wondering, and so with that your eyes did too. Going from the tiles of the pool, to Duff’s newly golden tanned body, to under the water your gaze fixed a bit to long on one particular position. “My eye’s aren’t under the water are they now…?” Duff said, catching you off guard and making you blush hard, if it was any harder the water around you would start to boil. “There’s no shame in it honey.” He said, now moving closer to you, turning around so his back was on the wall of the pool. “I haven’t been paying attention either.” He told you. “None of us have…” Slash began, now also moving closer, but a bit away from the pools edge, nearly behind you. You looked at Slash, silent but your nervous breathes showed your lust. Adding on as your eyes immediately went to look below the waterline, but quickly scanning up, meeting Slash’s face as a shit eating grin began to plaster it. Duff moved to be in front of you now as your nervousness made you let go if the pools edge. Duff’s back laid in the pools edge, his hands under the water feeling your waist to your hips. You subconsciously wrapped your legs around his waist. Slash in the other hand moved to be behind you, his hands in your waist as his chest pressed against your bare back. You wanted them. More than anything, you wanted them. They wanted you too, finally getting that security of being able to love you, always in competition with Izzy, but now it was final that you were theirs. In short whispers you agreeing to this.

Slash kissed your neck as his dick pressed against your ass. Duff kissed your tits as his dick was against your folds. Both of the men sucking on your skin leaving hickeys. “Please…” You pleaded for them to enter you. Your head falling into Duff’s shoulder as Slash’s thick cock lined up to your ass. “Take him baby.” Duff told you, releasing his mouth from your breasts. Slash held your cheeks apart as his dick slowly started to enter your tighter hole. “Good girl… you can do it.” Slash mumbled as his hard thick cock began to stretch out the hole. “Fuck…” his head falling back at the tightness. Your body burned uncomfortably at the harsh gritting feeling, but it soon eased as he went slowly and gently into you and stopped to rest every inch that his cock had to offer. His head laid on your shoulder and neck as he sighed bottoming out. You moaned and whined still even whilst he wasn’t moving. But you were louder as Duff began to push into your cunt. His longer dick getting pushed and pressed to the back of your pussy as he tired to get his whole length into you. Your head flung back in ecstasy feeling the two men inside you and one of then had their fingers starting to please your clit. “Fuck baby… you’re so fucking hot. Taking us both like a good girl.” Duff told you as felt your hips repeatedly press into his as Slash slowly fucked his way in and out if your ass. “Mmm, fuck so tight. So fucking perfect.” Slash moaned under his heavy sighs. As both of the men fucked your holes your orgasm was much closer and fiercer than normal.

“Mmm… gonna cum… fuck!” You whined. “Oh god baby- me too-…” and with Slash’s heavy sighs and uneven thrusts he came inside your ass. You very quickly after came abruptly over Duffs dick, cursing out and whimpering as you came down from it. Duff was very soon to finish as well, as when you orgasmed your pussy clenched around his dick tighter than anything and squeezed out his cum for him, shooting inside your begging pussy. All three of you were sighing heavily. Hot sweat dripping down into the cool as your body’s were still attached to each other. Duff kissed you as you got off his dick and Slash did too once he pulled out your ass and picked you from the water, holding you in a bridal position.

“Shit, we have to drain this pool after that.”

A/n: sorry that the end was rushed its late and I want to get to other requests and make space for newer ones

And yes I know that you have to have a silicone lubricant for water sex but I was too lazy to try add it

[suffersinfandom]

A Summary of The OFMD Meta

Sooooo... this is part one of an incomplete summary of A Meta-Discussion Of The Subtext by meratrishoslee (Mera) on AO3 (linked to, as the author requests). I hope it’s helpful to the folks who’ve been curious about it -- heyooo @fahbee and @pushbuttonkitty -- but maybe not quite 90K-words curious! I’m not going to comment on anything; this is meant to be an impartial -as-possible summary.

It's massively long, so this is just the first eight chapters.  

“There’s every possibility you are still in your feelings as you read this, even weeks after the finale. You are in your autonomous knee-jerk reaction, adrenaline-spike, slapped across the face, feeling-so-betrayed-right-now moment. You’re valid. That’s absolutely what’s happened… on the surface. But as you take a deep breath and begin to examine logically what’s in the show and engage with the material both in its text and subtext, you will see a new concept begin to take shape.” (Mera)

Chapter 1: Overview

Some background: Mera was involved with The Johnlock Conspiracy and believes that TJLCers weren’t wrong. (If you want a fun watch, I recommend Sarah Z’s YouTube video.) Essentially, TJLCers believe that Sherlock and Watson of BBC’s Sherlock were supposed to be endgame, and this can be proved with careful analysis. This is often paired with the idea that there is a missing fourth episode to the show’s fourth season that will eventually air and confirm all theories.

Mera defines ‘text’ and ‘subtext.’ Text is “dialogue lines / Shot choices and directions / Visible actions, describable as stage directions.” Subtext is “every single other thing, as well as what is suggested by or can be inferred from the text above.”

“Whenever something doesn’t make sense in the text, it is a BEACON (or maybe even a LIGHTHOUSE) to look at the subtext. Your subconscious mind recognizes subtext long before your conscious mind parses it -- assuming it ever does.”

The rest of the chapter is devoted to short descriptions of Mera’s key assertions with links to relevant chapters and their convention experiences. They cite talking to Con O’Neill at Florida Supercon 2023 as one of their reasons for believing so strongly that Izzy Hands is alive:

I asked him for advice in a specific time of trouble, and he gave me something real that had worked for him. I asked for a hug and he gave that also. 

As I was pulling away I said "I’m glad that I gleaned one absolutely true thing from your portrayal of Izzy." 

“What’s that?” 

I said: "The character (in my original work) that Izzy inspired – when he’s out of pain at last, it’s impossible not to love him." 

That seemed to hit him on an emotional level; he couldn’t hold my gaze after that.  He said “That’s what I’ll be taking with me today.” 

This was July 1st 2023, after completion of the filming of Season 2.  I've thought about it often as the season went on, and how it must have affected him. 

We have to love Izzy so that he'll live.

Mera spoke to Con again at NYCC:

The last thing I managed to get to say to him was: "They gave Izzy Hands a Passion Play." 

"They did?" he asked. 

"Yes, they did!" I replied. 

And I watched that brilliantly swift mind again at work, because he considered it for the briefest beat -- and said in a tone of joy: "They did; yeah, you're right!" 

I remember for the minutes and hours after I was amazed: did he not know, somehow? Did the writers not tell him (and he didn't realize at any time since) that in first quarter of the series they'd given him Gethsemane, a betrayal, a crucifixion (okay, getting shot in the leg and head, but don't get stuck on the details), a burial, and then a full on canonical resurrection?

Con then said another very important thing:

"But I got over it." 

[...]

If Izzy's dead (for real and forever dead) and he knew it, then what he said to me was on a level of cruelty that I could never countenance from him. If Izzy lives, then those words are yet another piece of proof to me that Con was clever enough to be right both for someone who'd only seen five episodes, and someone who would eventually see all eight. 

Chapter 2: The Cup and Ball Trick

The chapter is an extended “game” of cup and ball (where a ball is hidden under a cup and the guesser needs to determine which cup it’s under) interspersed with pictures from OFMD at various points in season two. It ends on a shot of Izzy’s grave where his body definitely isn’t.

The important takeaway: Izzy returns from the dead once to shoot Ed during Ed’s final suicide attempt. Ed returns from the dead after the near-fatal mutiny. Why would you think Izzy’s actually dead and in his grave at the end of the show?

“I didn't cry at the finale -- I was too filled with joy and excitement. I was Mary Magdalene at the grave; I was one of the first to know the truth of the resurrection, whether or not anyone believed me!” 

Chapter 3: OUR LOVE MEANT DEATH

"..because if [Izzy] doesn't [live], with what I know now, his death is a cruelty struck at every queer individual alive or dead since 1981.”

Mera observes that almost no one touches Izzy’s bare skin and Izzy bleeds more than any other recurring character.

There are two times someone touches Izzy’s bare skin: first when his screams are being muffled when he yells at Jim and Archie to kill him, second when Ed puts the gun in Izzy’s ungloved hand during his first go at suicide.

Conclusion: "Izzy is coded with AIDS.”

Ed holding his bloody hand up to the rest of the crew away when Izzy is dying is a “warding-off gesture.” 

Izzy is pale and sickly-looking as he’s dying. “My gorge rises. In the year of our Lord Shiva 2023 -- THEY GAVE THE MOST QUEER CODED CHARACTER ON THE SHOW A FUCKING AIDS DEATH.”

Izzy touches someone else’s bare skin twice in the show, and both instances are Ed. The first is in S1E10 “where he puts his left Death-marked hand on Edward's wrist as he's choking him.” The second is in S2E8 as he’s dying “in his ex-lover’s arms” (notably, this is the same hand with the spade tattoo).

“If Izzy's well and truly dead, for real and stays dead... He is in media both the first historically and the most recent chronologically to receive a full on AIDS death.”

“Until they prove to me and all of us that only Izzy's grief and the specter of AIDS remains in the grave -- and the rest of our beloved boy, our new unicorn (oh hey do you know what Problematic Modern Culture says about unicorn blood?), our pure-hearted risen being, our self-sacrificing queer man, will get his chance to be touched, held, kissed, and LOVED in Season 3.”

Chapter 4: “The Third Was For Death”

“Season 1 was Pinocchio: a wooden puppet wants to become a real boy -- and does!  Hip hip hooray; that was pretty easy.  Wow, the cute tall young guy of the crew lost a finger and the mean nasty short grouch that some people hate and some people like (because they understand him on a visceral, subconscious, subtextual level) lost a toe -- but if that's the worst that happens, we came out okay!”

Season two is “The Monkey’s Paw.” Mera tells the story with pictures from OFMD to emphasize the connections. Importantly, there’s an instance of a couple’s son coming back wrong after a wish (Lucius). The final wish returns the son to his previously-dead state and Mera ends on a picture of Izzy’s grave.

The cast’s and crews’ interviews might not support the real narrative because they’re not allowed to say what they want to (“Ever had to develop code language to hide your queerness from your parents, your teachers, the state?”) They’re all “in distress” and trying to tell us without telling us. 

“Why does the new (old broken down) house smell like death? Why does everything we wished for that we got feel bad? Why does everything we're supposed to be happy about feel sad? How long would it take YOU to spot someone blinking out the word T-O-R-T-U-R-E?”

Mera hopes that the next season won’t tell us certain a new story: George Orwell’s 1984.

Chapter 5: Where Were We? Oh Yes, In The Pit Of Despair

This chapter is about The Princess Bride as it relates to Izzy’s story in seasons two and three of OFMD. It’s a comparison based mostly on costumes and lines; there are no one-for-one character comparisons. Vitally, the plot of TPB is used to predict the next season of OFMD. 

Season two of OFMD ends at the part of TPB when Westley is thought to be dead (Izzy in his grave). Westley is revived, soooo…

“At what point does a preponderance of evidence flip over into fact? At what point does a handful of chance coincidences become planning and architecture? At what point do you go beyond a reasonable doubt into conviction?”

Chapter 6: Birdman and Blackbeard: Or, How To Watch Media

This chapter is about analyzing media. Once you learn how, you stop being a passive watcher.

“Instead you read its rhymes and rhythms like a sonnet. You go to the media in return – you meet it halfway, like a lover. You engage with it. You find themes embedded in the subtext that, once unearthed and examined, continue to inform and expand your experience of the text.”

“The people that like things nice and easy are the ones that watched the finale of Season 2, got angry and upset and – instead of examining those feelings and sitting with them and figuring out why everything felt weird and fucky – wrote it off as bad writing and cruel showrunners, and are already onto the next piece of media to pour into their open eyes and ears.”

And that’s fine! But if you like to think, you interrogate the media and see what else it’s saying.

Mera summarizes The Hero’s Journey through the lens of Orpheus’ story.

Season two mirrors season one almost too well. “...Why are they recreating their first season almost beat by beat? Why is this “second verse, same as the first – only a little bit louder and (in many cases) worse? Then Episode 8 hit… and I realized. They wanted to make sure that, in every conceivable way, the fans had a subtextual map of the meaning of Episode 8. So the mirrors between seasons had to line up almost exactly.”

Now we go into the three-act structure and how the hero’s journey maps onto it. Mera then uses Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance) and to show how they personally analyze meta, but I don’t care nearly enough about what they’ve gleaned from Birdman to go into it here. You’ll have to go read it yourself if you want their methods.

“Remember: Everything on screen in the finished and published movie is a choice. If something doesn’t make sense on a textual level, it is often a signpost (or LIGHTHOUSE) to look at it on a subtextual level.”

Mera points to an article about three-act structure and notes that “fun and games” is both part of that author’s second act and the title of an OFMD episode. 

“Are we being fucked with? Or are we being instructed?”

Chapter 7: If You Strip Away The Myth From The Man

It’s the Jesus Christ Superstar chapter and it’s massive. I’m only including the most substantial comparisons and points.

Mera starts by linking to a gifset of Con talking about Taika saying that Izzy and Blackbeard are comparable to Judas and Jesus (and then Taika and Con sang songs from JCS while getting their makeup done). Notably, Con didn’t specify which character was which.

Blackbeard is a myth created by (of) two men, Ed and Izzy. “there's always two male bodies involved: Jesus and Judas, and both sacrifice themselves to the cause.”

It’s easy to say that Izzy is Judas, but wait -- there’s a better and deeper interpretation! Look at this picture from S1 that resembles the Last Supper and frames Izzy as Jesus! “Now I finally understood. Sure: Izzy is Judas-coded. That's plain for anyone to see. But Izzy is also Jesus-coded… from the under/reverse side.”

Izzy is Jesus-coded for all of season one (even more than Ed), and the comparison is solidified by the end of S2E3: “Izzy Hands is almost fully and directly Jesus-coded, and after Ed's own resurrection (not as an agape-love self-sacrifice for the saving of others, but through selfish personal/eros love alone) Edward is now obviously the betrayer of the whole crew who is permitted to stay aboard only on terms of sackcloth clothing and uneasy tolerance.”

Judas died by hanging himself according to the Gospel of Matthew. The only characters we see hanging are Ed and Stede, which clearly aligns them with Judas. 

Izzy is a good person. He cares about the crew; Ed never does. When Izzy’s wrong, he fesses up to it and apologies; Ed does not (or when he does, the apologies are bad). “Does he lie?  Yes, ostensibly to protect his captain and crew. Is he fairly mean to the Revenge crew until they [...] become his crew? Pretty much, although I could argue otherwise in places -- especially the fact that while Ed throws Lucius violently and bodily off the ship without any warning, Izzy carefully puts the crew on a safe island with a minor fuckery of his own to keep them calm and happy until he leaves. (It's obviously not Edward's idea, although he does permit Izzy to put himself between the deadly Kraken and the Revenge's crew in order to accomplish it.) Is he selfish? Yes, and who of us aren’t sometimes selfish about the people we love?”

Jesus and Judas have massive amounts of sexual tension (yeah, can confirm). Izzy is Jesus-coded because, while he doesn’t initiate contact like Jesus does in JCS, he’s always looking directly at Ed. Ed is Judas-coded because he has a hard time looking at Izzy and finds it difficult to touch him.

“...If Izzy Hands is a queer man who is Jesus-coded, who we see go through not one but TWO passion plays during Season 2... [near-death after having his leg removed, end-of-season death] he is conquering the death of HIV/AIDS and queer grief. He has to die so that he can vanquish that very real death, and arise again triumphant over it.”

“One direct correspondence with Jesus is that Izzy is convinced of one right way to be (whether or not it actually is), and everything outside of that offends him viscerally at this point in the series.” Izzy is convinced that there’s one right way to be a pirate, and Stede’s fucking that up.

And back to AIDS/reverse-Jesus Izzy: “Now among the lepers we're back to the reversal: no one touches Izzy. He’s desperate for it yet can never allow it. Jesus’s touch, kiss, love cures – and everyone seeks it and craves it. They demand it, they swamp and overwhelm him. Jesus's naked touch/kiss/love cures disease -- Izzy's carries and spreads it.”

“Judas/Edward makes his deal with the priesthood/King George to betray Jesus/Izzy – his price is 30 pieces of silver/Stede’s life.” That is, Ed is the one doing the betraying in season one. 

But the real betrayal happens when he cuts off Izzy’s toe and feeds it to him while he’s vulnerable. Important note for the AIDS stuff: “...Edward puts on leather gauntlets immediately prior to this assault -- he ‘gloves up.’ He doesn't have direct naked contact with Izzy's blood or flesh during this scene.” The toe-feeding scene is absolutely framed as sexual assault.

And the toe thing continues into season two. “Sit with that also for a moment: the faux consent of making Izzy remove his own clothing to bare his body parts for this violation. Is it too far a stretch to think that Ed also made him eat each one, in their own private, gristly sacrament? He did threaten to ‘feed him the rest’ after all.”

Here is the outline of Izzy’s first “passion play”:

Izzy's Last Supper: all the toes eaten before as well as the one threatened now. 

Izzy's Gethsemane, wherein he begs his God for the cup to be removed: he tries to bargain his and the crew's way out with his conversation with Blackbeard, to find an alternative to the self-destructive violence. 

Izzy is betrayed by his Judas (again): shot in the leg for the 'crime' of mentioning Stede Bonnet's name, or Blackbeard's affection toward him. 

Izzy descends into the grave: lays in a secret tunnel in what we can believe is the lowest part of the ship, while rotting enough to be smelled throughout.

 Izzy dies: he shoots himself in the head and both we and Blackbeard believe him to be dead.

Izzy is risen: he hauls himself up out of his own grave without assistance from anyone else, crawls to the main deck, reloads his pistol somewhere along the way -- and shows himself to his followers crew at last, in order to bring about their salvation.

Con himself said that this is a passion play, and it takes up a massive chunk of the first part of the season. You don’t throw something massive like that into a show unless you’ve got something bigger coming.

But Judas dies before OFMD ends (mapping OFMD onto JCS), so now who is Ed? He’s Pontius Pilate. There’s the whipping of Jesus (Izzy’s back scars), then Pilate kneels down to hold the bleeding Jesus in his arms. It’s this specific Pieta statue.

“Izzy has to die to conquer his own living death, to end the curse that has kept him untouchable and unable to be loved as he so desperately desires.” There’s the crucifixion for you. Izzy dies and is buried, and we’re still waiting on the resurrection. 

The last shot in JCS is of the empty cross; the last shot of OFMD S2 is Izzy’s grave. “If the cross in the last and arguably the most significant shot of JCS symbolizes the triumph of resurrection and rebirth... the one in OFMD S2 must also.”

Alex Sherman liked one of Mera’s Izzy Lives tweets that he was tagged in. 

Chapter 8: The Dual Substance Of Christ

Now we’re looking at The Last Temptation of Christ. This is another long and involved one, so I’m cutting a lot of minor things that don’t serve the overall meta. (I also know fuck-all about this movie, oops.)

“An argument can be made (and I will attempt it) that Judas in this instance is not only the show creators/writers room of OFMD who had to put their much beloved boy Izzy Hands through all this agony... but also we the Unseen Crew who adore him, who have suffered alongside him through all he's endured, and who want nothing more than to have him back and whole in resurrected triumph.”

TLTC presents another reason to identify Lucius with Mary Magdalene (and notably, Jesus can’t touch Mary -- because Izzy is AIDS-coded). Once again, there’s an immense amount of sexual tension between Jesus and Judas.

This Jesus is angry and this God is fearsome. Judas does a lot of slamming-Jesus-into-walls, much like Ed and Izzy in S1E10. 

Jesus confirms that he is a heart and he loves, which solidifies Izzy’s position as the heart of Blackbeard. 

In his final trial in the desert, Jesus’ final tempter appears as flames. Izzy and Ed both play with flames when they lie.

“Izzy is pretty much Jesus-coded as I explained in the JCS meta… but here also due to the timing and content of this scene, Izzy’s also Lazarus-coded.He dies, he goes into the pit of the grave, he smells of rot, then he is raised from the dead.” Lazarus and Izzy both have a rough time of being alive again and drink about it. 

Jesus says “I have to die on the cross, and I have to die willingly.” This parallels Izzy saying that he wants to go when he’s dying. Judas doesn’t want Jesus to die, which puts him more in line with Jenkins and company than any characters.

“But Izzy has to die, in order to conquer death. He’s lived with the specter of HIV/AIDS that has separated him from loving touch and the sharing of physical intimacy. He has to go into the grave to leave his disease and his queer grief behind, and to be reborn to love.”

On the cross, Jesus says, “Father, stay with me. Don’t leave me.” As he’s dying, Izzy tells Ed, “Sit with me, Eddie.” 

“I feel sick, and I think I’m supposed to. It’s supposed to hurt. Both Izzy's death and Jesus's crucifixion are supposed to be two of the realest and most awful and most beautiful things I’ve ever seen on television.”

In TLTJ, there’s an extended part of the movie where Jesus is in a kind of gravy basket. The events are all kind of odd. They involve Jesus sleeping with Mary (the reborn unicorn, free of AIDS and safe to touch). Jesus returns to his body, suffers, and dies.

TLTJ doesn’t cover Jesus’ resurrection. “We have to trust what we know of the story: that Jesus is risen, and only death itself remains in his grave.”

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On to the next!