#reveal that the dude had some form of more than platonic interest in me

[chromatic-lamina]

true history: true mystery, chapter 1085 spoilers

OH MY GAWD,

What a chapter. And cos he's my boy, told you we didn't have to worry too much about one

Trafalgar

D.

Water Law!

I'm so excited (I feel like I should go out and order the whole set of steak knives).

Anyhoo! I remember when I enjoyed reading the scans on my Friday, and they now come out very early my Thursday morning (like, super early. It's just shy of 3am). BUT this was a treat. And the reason I mostly read them is to prevent being spoiled, but also because they include really interesting translator's notes, etc. such as the ones below about Imu:

Which is difficult to see, but basically it says that Imu refers to themself as Mu and then says that Mu can refer to the void century but also to dreams. Super interesting. And so, Lili was not, unfortunately Imu (but that's okay, cos' I love this story line too), BUT she was a...

D!!!

As shown above, where King Cobra realises...

...that he won't survive his encounter with Imu (who was apparently one of the original 20), and Cobra reveals that Lili was Queen Nefertari D. Lili. GOOD STUFF. Sabo overhears. Imu has some problems with this, because, as stated by Cora

and reiterated by (without knowledge to the best of our understanding) Imu

the "D" is the moniker of the Celestials ancient enemy.

And, although sketchy, look at the perspective from that panel above! Imu is miles above them all. Another aside, while looking up Cora and Doflamingo stuff, there's also the 'heavenly' perspective on this frame with Cora and Law, but I also know Oda is fond of this type of editing/story telling:

Back to 1085: Cobra's recollection that Imu was the name of one of the original 20 does tie into the probable theory that Imu had the eternal youth operation centuries prior.

Anyhoo, this is well out of order (my posting of frames) as always! Sorry. It's not only the D's that Imu and their clan need to be scared of, but also

the scholars. Be still my LawBin shipping (platonic or romantic) heart! But, I digress. So Lili is the one responsible for the preservation and also dispersal of

the poneglyphs. Whole page there. So much information! Cobra has not revealed that Lili was a "D" at this point, or that he himself is, so he was playing with fire coming in to see the Elders, but I guess the whole lineage had known about that for a long time then (that they had the initial for some reason) and had survived. It also seems that maybe King Cobra did know more about the poneglyph in Alabasta than previously assumed. Perhaps?

Anyway, Imu above says that Lili's dispersal of the poneglyphs around the world was perhaps a deliberate action (apparently it had been passed off as a mistake, a blunder) as part of a larger plan. And with the reveal of her being a possessor of the Will of D. it seems it probably was, even if she was a catalyst, as so many D's seem to be, without having full awareness or knowledge of what ultimate role they're playing.

Full page again, cos it's so good. So Imu questions Cobra as to why they never divulged Lili's full name, only referring to her by her royal title, which is actually pretty standard practice. BUT, Imu obviously has very strong convictions that Lili is one of those rabble rousers who get this his entity-self really hot under the collar too!

And the Gorosei basically saying: You can't expose that we're some kind of oligarchy/dictatorship/absolute malignant monarchy when it's supposed to be some kind form of supposed League of Nations acting for all countries and supposed world peace. Interesting mix of Imperialism and colonialism these guys have going on. Anyway! The revery is still going on, and is now absolutely proven to be a farce:

Although King Neptune, and who's the other dude? Can't remember. Not Dalton, is it? (please let me know) King Riku Doldo are looking very skeptical at the Uncle Sam dude. (Thank you @robinchan-hananomi !)

Walpol becomes relevant in a way that it seems that Caribou will be too, and Vivi has been kidnapped by the CIA CP0 (or are they CP9)?

Walpol overhears and sees not only Imu's decimation of Cobra with figures that look a lot like Kanjurou's Kazenbo flame spirit from Wano (did the Gorosei shape-shift too, or was it all Imu sending out some kind of malevolent spirit?), but I think he also overhears Cobra's revelation to Sabo that has a nice SFX bubble over it to just tease we readers enough with hints of information about how the Poneglyphs must be protected, and will seemingly will help usher in the dawn! Ooh, so excited.

BTW. What or who is the figure behind Cobra in the bottom right panel? Sabo?

Walpol outs himself as having seen everything, so shocking is it to him:

and so the spectres are on his tail (and I think it's quite funny that first Imu doesn't know or sense Sabo, and other defenses are breached by Walpol, of all people!). SO, he's one of my least favourite villains, along with Caribou and Spandam, but I'm guessing there's something with their devil fruits that make them crucial to the plot, as well as being kind of incidental characters witnessing key points of One Piece lore.

I doubt he has any great love for Vivi, but he also probably knows where his best chance for survival lies, so, it seems he's been creeping around the castle and I'm going to align CPO with Get Smart now, cos they've got that kinda vibe. Not goofy enough to be Scooby Doo (although Jabra does a good job), but still funny and sexy enough to be the characters of Get Smart who weren't Max. (look it up if you don't know).

Anyhoo! Vivi got kidnapped, and I'm guessing it was at the urging of the gorosei who did it at the urging of Imu, or maybe if Cobra didn't spill the beans, they would've used her as a bargaining chip. Anyway, Kalifa here:

stating that Vivi will end up being a pet (?!?). Did Charloss want her? And I'm wondering if Jabra's wording is a mistranslation, although maybe not. As far as I'm aware, the expression is "play your cards closer to your chest", but maybe it's changed over time. Or there's a pun I'm not getting.

Vivi's reaction in the following frame is awesome (gonna put the whole page in again, cos it's got so much info):

First, awesome that Shirahoshi got away, and we saw that way back when with Garp accompanying the family back to Fishmen Island. Cool info dump from Jabra above. (Very chatty secret agents. Maybe that's why they don't get to wear masks). But I especially like Vivi's incredulity at Kalifa's comment, and her commitment to doing something about it. She's got a devil fruit, doesn't she? Yes! BUT

Trashing young prince to the rescue! (okay, he's a king, once disposed, newly reinstated somewhere) (but he is young. This guy's in his 20s, I think). Vivi hitches a ride with the dumpster on wheels. And from there, Big News Morgans picks them up! (not yet witnessed). Here from chapter 1074:

She's really gone up in my estimation. I never noticed how much she speaks her mind and sticks up for others before (I'm slow, don't worry). And it's not just cos she's a D. Haha. That's not an automatic "like" card, but I might be a little predisposed.

Speaking of which, this part with the ASL brothers was hilarious:

"Do want a "D" in your name, Sabo?"

"You can be Sad. Bo!"

"Why'd you put it there!?!"

Ah, lol, bless.

Also, Imu has the same kind of imperiousness as Doflamingo. Doflamingo's rougher in speech, and I'm guessing with the "thou" and so on shown in the scanlation on the first page that Imu is formal, but as entitled and condescending as fuck, just like our pink feathered friend.

One thing (or many) so interesting about Doffy, though, is:

from chapter 727, is that he's a man very sore about losing his Celestial dragon status, who wants to destroy them and the world government, and who is not afraid of the CD's. Also, it seems that he's well aware of Imu (Mary Geoise's greatest treasure?). I wonder how he was going to challenge Imu if Law had granted him eternal life. If that was his aim. So, a digression, but I think our pink bird will again be relevant soon! Fingers crossed, and I really don't want them to redeem him. Please.

Lastly, the cover was very cute:

Franky directing newly hatched turtles to the ocean, and it's true, so many head in the wrong direction, and such a small proportion actually survive, so he's a hero. Is he sitting on a turtle-hatchling eating crab?

Dunno if any of this was coherent, and I'm sure I missed a bunch, but over and out for now (ah, back to bed!).

[sleepdeprivedsloth]

Wrong Answer

[MHA - Bakugou, Kirishima]

summary: Kirishima is struggling with math and asks Bakugou to help him study for an upcoming test. Unique tutoring methods are introduced, leading to some interesting discoveries between the two friends. (platonic KiriBaku tickle fic)

potential warnings: swearing, tickling

words: 1.7 k

a/n: here’s another mha fic because i’m obsessed :D if you couldn’t already tell i freaking love bakugou lmfao i promise my next fic will be for a different fandom but anyways please enjoy!

--

“How did I allow myself to be associated with an absolute idiot?” Bakugou asked aloud, fondly shaking his head.

Kirishima gave out an awkward laugh, embarrassedly rubbing his hand against the nape of his neck. “Sorry man, I seriously thought math was supposed to be about numbers. I genuinely don’t understand where all these letters are coming from.”

The two boys were seated on top of Kirishima’s bed, facing towards one another, with their notes and homework assignments scattered across the blankets. It had been the redhead’s idea to work on their homework together, knowing that he would be needing Bakugou’s help.

“This is just a review on the Pythagorean Theorem, Shitty Hair. You should’ve learned it three weeks ago instead of waiting until two days before the test!” Bakugou exasperatedly exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air to further emphasize his half-hearted frustration.

The blonde watched as Kirishima’s sheepish expression quickly turned into a look of distress, cringing slightly as he asked, “Wait… we’re having a test on the Python Theory?”

Bakugou facepalmed, dragging his hand slowly down the length of his face. “Oh fucking well. I’ve done all I could. At this point, you’re a lost cause.”

“C’mon Bakubro, I don’t need you to make me feel any more dumb than I already am! A little crash course is all I need, just please tutor me!” Kirishima pleaded, looking desperately into his friend’s eyes.

“You know what…” Bakugou started, an almost-evil smirk growing across his face. “I do have this one study method that I’ve been meaning to try out on someone.”

Kirishima beamed, oblivious to the suspiciously eager look on Bakugou’s face. “Oh that’s perfect, bro! You get to test out your new method and I can study for our math test, a manly win-win situation! So how does the method work?”

Repressing most of his excitement as to not reveal his true intentions, Bakugou explained, “It’s pretty simple really. I just have to ask you questions and then you gotta answer them. Here’s the twist though: instead of being praised or rewarded when you get the answers right, you get a little punishment if you answer them wrong.”

“Wait wait wait, hold on a second,” Kirishima butt in. “What do you mean ‘punishment?’ Are we talking like giving me a thumbs down, o-or like torture, or-”

“I wouldn’t hurt you, Shitty Hair, no matter how much of an idiot you are,” Bakugou quickly reassured.

Kirishima let out a sigh of relief. “Whew, thank god! You had me a little worried for a second there, man.”

“Don’t stress out over this, it’s just studying,” Bakugou said with a grin that implied that the pair were going to do more than just study. “All you have to do is answer correctly. Ready, dumbass?”

Kirishima gave the blonde two thumbs up, smiling warmly. “Ready as I’ll ever be! Hit me with it!”

“Good,” Bakugou smirked. “First question: what’s the formula of the Pythagorean Theorem? You’ve got five seconds, Shitty Hair.” 

“Five seconds?! Dude that’s not enough- WOAH!” Kirishima had started to object when suddenly Bakugou lunged at him, knocking the redhead down onto his back. Before he could fully process what was happening, Kirishima was being straddled just below the waist and his hands were pinned underneath Bakugou’s knees. The brief struggle made a complete mess of their papers and pencils, some even falling down to the floor. “Uhh.. Bakubro? I mean this in the friendliest way possible, but what the actual hell, man??"

Bakugou rested his hands on Kirishima’s sides, causing his friend to stiffen slightly. “What’s the formula of the Pythagorean Theorem? If your dumbass answers incorrectly, or doesn’t answer at all within the next five goddamn seconds, you’re gonna get punished,” he repeated, giving a small squeeze to emphasize his intentions.

Kirishima’s eyes widened in realization, a shaky smile coming across his face as he attempted to backtrack. “O-oh, I was actually just thinking that we should definitely try another method? Maybe we could- AAHahaha nohohoho!!”

“Wrong answer, Kiri,” Bakugou replied bluntly, starting to lightly wiggle his fingers along Kirishima’s sides, just enough to keep him squirming and giggling. “Why try another method when this one is working so well? Answer.”

Kirishima couldn’t help but tug on his hands, writhe from side to side, squeeze his eyes shut tight, anything that could possibly alleviate the soft, tickly sensations. Unfortunately, his attempts were only in vain. “Ihihihihi dohohon’t knohohohow! Thihihihis is wh-hihi-y Ihihihi need tuhuhutoring!”

“Alright dumbass, I’ll help you out a little. Just repeat after me…” Bakugou offered, showing a small bit of mercy towards his clueless friend. It wasn’t exactly a fair fight if Kirishima had no idea how to answer the questions; that’s why Bakugou was helping him in the first place after all. Without pausing his fluttering fingers, the blonde recited, “A squared plus B squared equals C squared.”

“Ihihi cahahan’t- EEHEHEHAHA” Bakugou dug his fingers into Kirishima’s sides in warning. “OKAHAHAhay okahay! A-hahahaha squahared pluhuhus B-hehe squahahared ehequals C-hihihi squahahared!”

“Nice job, Shitty Hair,” Bakugou momentarily ceased his tickling, giving Kirishima a chance to catch his breath. “Second question: can the Pythagorean Theorem be used on all types of triangles?”

Lucky for Kirishima, he had actually paid attention to that part of the lesson in class. With small, residue giggles getting mixed in with his words, he proudly answered, “Nohope, only rihight triahangles!”

“Correct. About time you started getting some of these shitty answers right,” Bakugou mocked playfully before a predatory glint filled his eyes. “Third question: where’s your worst spot?”

Kirishima’s head shot up and he immediately locked eyes with his friend, shaking his head pleadingly. “No noho no, I cahan’t!” Anxious titters slipped out of his mouth as he tried to bargain. “I-I’ll tell yohou my second wohorst spot, it’s rihight below my behehelly button!”

Bakugou wasted no time in slipping both hands underneath Kirishima’s shirt and moving them to his lower stomach. Forming miniature claws, he started vibrating his fingers deep into the sensitive flesh. Uncontrollable laughter spilled out between Kirishima’s pointed teeth, but Bakugou wasn’t satisfied yet. “I don’t want your second worst spot. Fucking answer the damn question, or I won’t ever stop~”

His head fell back to look up at the ceiling instead of Bakugou’s piercing gaze. Kirishima put as much strength as he could into trying to buck the hands off of his torso, but the redhead quickly came to the realization that there was no way out. If he didn’t answer, there was no doubt that Bakugou would keep tickling him until he died of laughter. Blushing at the thought, Kirishima surrendered, “RIHIHIHIHIHIHIBS! IHIHIHIT’S MY RIHIHIHIBS!!”

“Perfect.” Bakugou instantly slithered his hands further up until they reached the dreaded spot. He gently massaged his thumbs into Kirishima’s ribs, not hard enough to hurt, but with just the right amount of pressure that got his friend squirming hopelessly from left to right. “Damn, these guys are pretty sensitive, aren’t they?” Bakugou teased fondly.

“YEHEHEHEHES! IHIHIHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLEHES!!” Kirishima confessed, screams of laughters flowing out of him before he could even think about resisting them. But then again, he didn’t really want to resist. Kirishima had to admit that it did feel good to let loose from the stress of school and just laugh freely. Those thoughts were immediately pushed to the back of his mind the instant Bakugou’s fingers scribbled against his second lowest ribs, a particularly weak spot on his ribcage. “NO NO NOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAKUG-AAHAHA! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!”

Bakugou’s eyes practically gleamed with excitement as he honed in on the newfound spot. “Ohoho, what is this wonderful little spot I’ve found, Shitty Hair?” 

Kirishima was hysterically howling and shrieking, losing his mind to the sensations and barely able to form complete sentences. “PLEHEHEHEHEASE NOHOHO! IHIHI CAHAHAHAHAN’T!!”

The blonde slowed his fingers down, but drummed them against the second lowest rib to keep Kirishima wiggling and giggling. “Alright Kiri, final question: who’s the best tutor in all of UA? I’ll even give you a small hint: your dumbass better say that it’s me.”

Having more control over his mouth, Kirishima bravely teased, “Wohohow, suhuhuper suhubtle, Bahakubroho.” This earned his ribs a few ticklish pinches, causing the redhead to jolt and squeal before returning to his steady stream of chuckles.

“That loudass mouth of your’s is gonna get you into some serious trouble,” Bakugou lightly taunted. “Now spit out your fucking answer already!”

Through his giggle high, Kirishima quickly responded, “Yohohohou! Ihihihit’s youhuhuhu! Yohohou’re the behehest tuhutor to ehehever exihihihist!!”

Bakugou climbed off of Kirishima and helped him sit up before crawling back to his end of the bed. “Hell yeah I am, and don’t you ever forget it!”

Kirishima rubbed his hands along his ribs to get rid of the funny, tingling feeling that was left behind from the attack. “Geheez dude, I seriously dihidn’t take you ahahas the type to initiate a tihihickle fihight like that.”

Rolling his eyes as he started to pick back up their school work that was previously disregarded on the blankets, Bakugou retorted, “Oh please, this was just payback for what you and the other idiots did to me on my birthday. Karma’s a bitch like that.”

“Oh c’mon, man, there’s no need to lie. You and I both know that you loved it!”

Bakugou’s head quickly whipped around to look at Kirishima incredulously, eyes widened slightly. “No I didn’t, you ass! It was absolute torture and you’re honoestly lucky that I don’t hate you dumbasses for doing it.”

Keeping eye contact with his friend, Kirishima effortlessly came back with, “Dude, if you seriously thought it was torture, there is no doubt that you would have found a way to make us stop. Or, at the very least, you would’ve asked us to stop.”

Realization flashed across Bakugou’s face for a brief moment, accompanied by a light blush that Kirishima easily noticed. But in the blink of an eye, Bakugou’s defenses were put back up, as if they had never gone down in the first place. “Oh yeah? Then how come you didn’t ask me to stop the whole time I was tickling you just now? Explain that, Shitty Hair.”

A challenging smile spread across Kirishima’s lips. “I never said that I didn’t like it.”

--

a/n: ngl i had some troubles starting this fic, but let me tell you that when i finally got into it, everything just started coming together and now i love it! thanks for reading everyone <3

[familyagrestefanblog]

Shadow Moth forshadowing detail + S4 Theory

I kinda just noticed something about Gabriels design concerning his Miraculous and I'm a bit mind blown right now tbh

I always thought it was odd that the character designers chose to hide the quite small butterfly brooch under a much bigger tie

Of course, as one can see in the transformation sequence, that "problem" gets solved when Nooroo activates the Miraculous. In the active Form the butterfly miraculous would indeed require a bigger hiding place such as a tie but the thing is, when the miraculous IS activated Gabriel doesn't wear the tie. So that "solution" is invalidated.

Its nothing that ever really bothered me much, I just found it ODD because they could have chosen anything for his casual wear but they stuck with something unnecessary big concidering the size of the object they want to hide with it.

But THEN I just remembered Shadow Moth from the upcoming s4 and... dude, the tie covering so much more space underneath than needed for the Butterfly miraculous was totally not a random decision.

The placements of the butterfly and peacock miraculous' actually line up perfectly with the size of the tie.

As I said the butterfly miraculous increases its size quite alot, it would probably cover almost half of the hidden area. But half also indicates that there is still space left and that remaining space is just right for the peacock miraculous

Looking at Natalies design both as her civilian self and as Mayura one can clearly see that the peacock is placed on a lower point as the butterfly.

And I just noticed how brilliantly they included the turtlenecks and "around areas" into her designs. Mayura doesn't need the same "upper space" as Hawkmoth does so she has all of that neck fluff. Whereas with Natalies normal clothing the red shirt area now looks actually "well used" and complete, where formerly it looked quite empty. Not too much to be off putting but seeing the peacock there on her civilian design feels like the missing piece of her design finally was added

But let me come back to this in a second, there is something else I wanna finish up first.

Thinking about the fact that the butterfly miraculous get alot bigger I noticed that it certainly is no coincidence either that Mayuras Miraculous stays the same size

As I showed right at the beginning the activated butterfly would take up so much space that, with taking Gabriels clothing layout into account, the peacock miraculous (as the second one added to his character) wouldn't be allowed to change in size because it wouldn't look visually appealing anymore. So both Natalies and Gabriels civilian designs were modelled from the get - go in a way that the peacock can stay the same size.

But all of this still leaves open some big implications. The way I am showcasing it implies that:

1. Gabriel is going to wear the peacock often and for long enough to justify setting up his character model with it in mind. I was always certain that Shadow Moth is not a combination we will only get to see 1 or 2 times but when I now realize that him wearing the peacock as well is apperently such a crucial aspect of his character arc that they set it up on this scale, I do have to wonder what's the plan here and how it'll correspond to

2. Unlike Gabriels civilian design, Natalies "completed" one including the peacock miraculous straight up implies that she won't be hiding it AT ALL. That's actually the most interesting aspect about this when I think about it. Sure the other miraculous from our heros aren't hidden either but one would think that Natalie would know better than to just wear a peacock pin out in broad daylight at the same spot Mayura does. Especially considering that Gabriel IS going to hide both Miraculous. There needs to be a reason why for it's okay for Natalie when it's so obviously not for Gabriel.

And I might actually have an answer for this

Ever since the Fandom very early caught onto the hints that Emilie was the former peacock miraculous holder a very specific thought came up and kinda stayed with some fans (me included) and I think we actually weren't off with that assumption at all.

The thought im talking about is of course the idea that in "the collector" Adrien didn't reacted to the peacock miraculous because for him it is simply a very dear and special jewelry of his mother. So seeing that his father is keeping it in his safe is not something that should come with much of a surprise. Hence why he didn't.

"But what does this have to do with Natalie?", you might ask and I say it actually could be quite simple at this point.

The show is making no secret out of Gabriel starting to fall in love with Natalie as well. The new york special even had him placing a PINK rose onto Emilies coffin instead of a red one, which as we know from "Weredad" symbolizes a platonic love.

Gabenath is happening (how it'll end is another question tho). With all of the set up and development to this point I actually DO would say that Gabriel will start moving on with Natalie (but will of course stay Hawkmoth and terrorize Paris because his quest has become less and less for his family and more for his own selfish and sadistic ego) which makes her suddenly wearing a peacock pin actually not suspicious at all.

In the eyes of the public and especially ADRIEN it would simply mean that Gabriel has fallen in love again and that Natalie has now reached the level of belonging in the Agreste family that she is now wearing the very special jewelry of Emilie. Bonus points if Adrien gives his blessing for her wearing it as well and ends up being the factor why she wears it from then on all the time because if we are gonna rip his heart out with the reveals, let's at least do it properly

But that still doesn't explain the paradoxical set up of Natalie wearing the miraculous permanently openly and Gabriels model being designed to wear the peacock much more often than we initially thought.

Well this is where I will go once again even deeper into theory land, if your interested in that, read further under the cut:

A possibility here is that Gabriel Miraculous jewelry collection comes into play.

It's an aspect of the show that has hardly been used til now and it would provide a solid solution for the problem. The piece of jewelry Natalie wears draws no suspicion to itself if it's seen at the same time Hawkmoth wears both the butterfly and the peacock.

I definitely don't think Natalie will wear it right from the beginning of the season, it'll most likely come through development and a special dedicated episode. My guess is on the forshadowed Sabine as "Verity Queen" and it'll be a mother's day episode.

Marinette has so much to do because of her duties as Ladybug and guardian that she can't spend the day with her mother because she has to leave constantly, leading Sabine to just want to know what her daughter is doing so important that mothers day isn't important anymore. Cue akumatization. In the same episode I see Adrien (after the Marinette& Sabine reunion scene) really welcoming Natalie as his new mother right up front to her and maybe even taking the peacock pin (his mothers "dear jewelry") out of Gabriels safe to give it to her as a symbol that she's for him his new mother figure.

Prior he would have seen Gabriel with the pin in his hand and thinking which Adrien interprets as "Father is thinking about moving on with Natalie" but as the peacock pin is not just that (and Gabriel refuses (but actually does want to) to move on properly) that interpretation is not quite all of the truth. So Adrien is the one to (ironically) give Natalie the miraculous permanently because even if his father still refuses to move on and take the opportunity to be happy again, that won't stop Adrien from having a new mother. You can have a new mother (figure) without your other parent making the official move first.

This is so sweet and heartbreaking and HORRIBLE at the same time, it’s totally something Miraculous would do! The show never hold back really using the double identities for stark contrast or set up for a brutal pay off (especially with the Agrestes which can only result in a disaster at this point).

Of course this is just one idea, not saying it'll 100% happen like this, it's just a possibility I really really like (Also for Sabine).

"Varity Queen" imo being near the middle of the season Gabriel and Natalie would afterwards definitely need the fake peacock miraculous from Gabriels jewelry line (A fake Peacock IS something said in a tweet a while ago I just can't find it anymore) as a cover up because Natalie will have to/WANT to wear the pin Adrien gave her from then on permanently. So while Gabriel brings chaos as Shadow Moth Natalie wears the fake Miraculous as civilian.

Or... You know...

Since Natalie was the one parent in the forshadow episode "Chat Blanc" who was shown to be genuinely upset and shocked that Adrien turned out to be Chat Noir (whereas Gabriel skyrocketed his cunt level to a new level) and then wasn't to be seen anymore later with Hawkmoth in the fight, maybe after finding out about Adriens identity which is forshadowed like crazy Gabriel thinks he's gonna have to take some... precautions concerning Natalie loyalty since Adrien and her are forming a strong mother/ son bond (while Gabriel himself becomes a more and more horrible father. And Him being the “loving family father who would do anything for his family” is what Natalie loves him for) and he fears Natalie will choose Adrien over him. So a fake Miraculous will definitely come in handy while he can properly hide the real one under his tie (which of course doesn't mean he'll be the one to keep the real Miraculous in the end)

It's a possibility. Something like this is VERY likely to happen in my opinien because I personally can't see how this family tragedy is supposed to end up as anything else than in flames after the reveals (including Adriens and Natalies bond) so this is the way I see their future.

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

A Misplaced Imbalance of Fear

Ao3,   MasterPost

Relationships: Romantic Dukexiety, implied/minor Moceit (platonic or romantic)

From the power of my Art and my Shitposts comes This Fanfiction!!!

Warnings: Panic Attacks, Lots of Cursing, descriptions of gore (horror movies, it gets decently explicit so beware that), mild body horror (Remus is here and he Does Things Like That), Heavy Roman angst for a hot minute in the middle, making out (continuing my theme of remus-centric fics getting more ;3). They do some makeup and drink tea, baby. Mentions of picking one’s skin as an Anxious habit, and also ticking. Also stimming!!! nd sides 4 life bb. Also, a very brief alcohol mention (it’s soup).

Word Count: 6,553

God Fucking Fuck, Virgil was going to have a self-care day even if it killed him dead. Everybody else could do whatever overdramatic fuckery they wanted when they were topside, but he was all set down there in the Mindpalace, thank you very much.

Luckily, mercifully, thankfully, the rest of the sides all seemed keen to let Virgil have his space anyway. There wasn’t a thing stopping him from relaxing.

Well, except for himself, of course.

A thrum of condensed stress and fear tugged at Virgil’s abdomen, bubbling its way over his edges. It was equally his own and the others’, probably due to whatever conversation they were caught up in in the external world. He would not relent to the worry, nor was he summoned to help with the situation, but his body refused to stop shaking. Perched on the top of the couch, frantically clicking the buttons on a fidget cube, Virgil tried to watch the gore playing on the TV in a tired effort to calm his nerves.

Horror movies… helped. They were something for his brain to chew on for a while- their over-the-top and ridiculous plots, the obnoxious characters that almost always deserve what’s coming to them, the attention-attaining action- it was all a recipe for Distraction. But they weren’t working by that point, no matter how badly Virgil wanted them to.

And then- possibly because the universe loved to spite Virgil and Virgil specifically- a walking, talking headache flung himself into the common room about as elegantly as a wolfhound with rabies.

“Heyyyy,” Remus crowed as he sprawled himself out on the couch. Anxiety curled his legs closer under his body, unresponsive- he knew full well that any reaction would just be an invitation for trouble from the obnoxious trait. He’d remember what Logan taught them: don’t engage, just brush it all off.

Unfortunately, Remus seemed to be in a stubborn mood.

“Whatcha watching?” 

“Movie,” Virgil grumbled. 

“What movie?”

He eyed the side laying out on the couch below him, narrowing his gaze as threateningly as he could manage. He spat the words through gritted teeth and made it clear he was not having this today.

“It’s called Terrifier.”

Remus perked up at that, and oh God, if he was interested then he’d never go the fuck away.

“What’s it about?”

There wasn’t much Virgil could do but answer in as clipped a tone as he could; things hadn’t gotten too bad, too uncomfortable, yet. Maybe he could redirect Remus’ attention, if he was just boring and unresponsive enough?

“Just a cliche creepy clown flick. Not much to it.”

“Is it gory?” 

Virgil made a vaguely affirmative sound in his throat, gesturing to the screen. In truth, the movie’s impeccable special effects with gore was its main appeal, as the acting and plot was kinda atrocious. Violence was the exact reason he’d chosen to watch this. But he knew saying that wouldn’t help his chances of shaking off Intrusive Thoughts.

Remus looked ready to spout off something explicit, but he went dead quiet as his eyes fell on the scene on the television. Virgil was grateful for small mercies.

It was exactly the kind of thing that the creative trait would watch, after all; a woman getting sawed in half, lengthwise, starting from the- er, the wrong end. Under circumstances of a more typical anxious flare-up, the scene really could have been one of those ‘helpful distractions’. 

These were not normal circumstances.Yeah, this was one of those ‘too passive’ cases, but Virgil didn’t exactly have the energy for anything ‘active’. So, he stubbornly glared at the TV and pretended that his solution was working, because he had no idea what else to do. Perfect plan.

Preoccupied as he was with his internal issues, he very nearly managed to forget about Remus. Until-

“Holy fuck, this is gorgeous, you watch stuff like this?!” The Duke’s eyes were bright, but not with his usual hysteria. They were wide with genuine excitement, shiny and happy. It was- uncanny, that’s probably the word Virgil was looking for. He curled closer in on himself.

“Shouldn’t be that surprising, dude. ‘Scary’ is kind of my thing.”

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen this one,” the creative side was once again completely enamored by the television screen, “Don’t blood and guts and cool things like that freak you out? They always seem to do the trick when I try to mess with you!” 

“It’s different. The violence in movies, it- it calms me down, I guess. Cause it’s like, I don’t know, detached from reality?”

There was a pause that had Virgil hoping, naively, that Remus had grown bored at his spiel. But he wasn’t moving, he was just staring, gaze switching contemplatively from the screen to Virgil a few times over.

“It doesn’t look like that. If you were any more tense, all your tendons would be snapping like badly-tuned violin strings!” 

“Yeah, no shit,” Virgil pressed his back against the wall and shut his eyes tight. He could still hear- no, feel- Patton and Roman and Thomas arguing, snapping at each other back and forth as the situation escalated.

“Is this about whatever the others are doing? Why don’t you just stop listening to their shitty arguments?”

A harsh laugh escaped Virgil at that, dragging him back down to earth so he could blink his eyes open, glaring at the facet lying beneath him. 

“I can’t just stop, that’s not how I work. I need to keep an ear on them. Who knows what could happen if I didn’t?”

“Well, why don’t you just go talk to them?”

If he wasn’t already frustrated beyond belief, that would’ve fuckin’ done it for him.

“I don’t think I’d be much help. Not right now.”

“Why not?” Remus looked halfway between genuinely curious and mischievous, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better view of Anxiety.

“Seriously? Things aren’t exactly, like- normal between all of us.”

“What is normal?” 

Virgil opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came through. As much as it sounded like an offhanded, edgy 13-year-old atheist kind of remark, it was a decent point. Virgil had thought that there was something of a status quo forming between himself and the ‘light sides’, but how long had that even lasted for? Especially compared to the rest of his life? Everything was changing all the time. Was there anything to rely on, or was it just Virgil’s own wishful thinking for what their lives could be? After all, even in ‘peaceful times’, there had been plenty of in-fighting and disagreements and horrible uncomfortable conversations and harsh words and-

“Oh, shut that brain up,” Remus’ sharp voice pulled Virgil from his thoughts, “I know what you meant ‘normal’. You meant the six months when you got to forget about us Scary Monsters, and, DUH! It was probably way simpler for all you diet-soda-no-sugar sluts back then, but that doesn’t mean it was better.”

“Yeah, you would think that things are better now, wouldn’t you?”

Remus fixed Virgil with an unsettling sort of grimace, making the other squirm. It wasn’t the first time he’d done so by any means. 

“I dunno, but what I do know is that things are getting better. They’ll be the best they could be, soon.”

Despite himself, Virgil laughed. It was a faltering, anxious sound, revealing the true fear behind the taunting gesture.

“Really? With everybody at each other’s throats all the time?”

“While that does sound fun,” Remus sat up fully, twisting around to look directly up at Virgil, “I mean after that. After we’re all accepted. It’s inevitable- Inevitable, Anxious Lil’ Barista,” Remus accompanied the referential nickname with a wink. 

Virgil stared at him like he was crazy (well- like- crazier than usual, he guessed?). Remus just threw his head back and laughed before spinning his neck one-hundred and eighty degrees to face the TV while he explained.

“Point is, it’s painfully obvious that everything will sort itself out. It has to, or else the only other option is that Thomas is gonna drive himself insane by trying to suppress parts of himself and end up clawing his own brain out. One of those two things!”

While colorfully phrased, the certainty with which Remus delivered his point had Virgil taken aback. There was no way that Remus could possibly know that, but- in a backwards way it was comforting, how sure he sounded. He didn’t lie, not ever.

Virgil had never thought that Remus would settle for anything less than going out of his way to make others’ lives a hell. But maybe that antagonism wasn’t what exactly motivated the trait’s actions. Maybe it was just an unintentional side effect, akin to what Logan had said when Remus first revealed himself.

The moment of reprieve was over as soon as it began.

“Fuck! He just cut off her tits and wore ‘em, huh?” 

Virgil looked up and, to be fair, that was exactly what had happened on screen. Like he said, this movie wasn’t exactly poetic cinema, but it certainly was something. 

He scooted along the top of the couch, moving just a few feet before dropping down to sit properly beside Remus.

“3/10 drag look at best, really,” Virgil muttered, mostly to himself. He jumped when Remus shrieked with laughter at it, looking absolutely delighted. 

“I didn’t know you made jokes like that, VeeVee!”

Virgil shrugged noncommittally, focusing on the screen and not the facet beside him. Remus’ giggling was loud and distracting, but it wasn’t… unpleasant, unlike his typical villain-cackle was. 

Once Remus had settled down (as much as somebody like him could, anyway), he, too, focused on watching. The quiet was uncomfortable, but it didn’t stretch on for long. There was always something in the movie that The Duke felt the need to comment upon extensively, elaborating and giving details on the gore. Virgil found himself listening to the rants silently, almost enjoying the disruption. It certainly gave his overactive mind something to play around with.

“-skin doesn’t slice as easy as that, trust me-”

Aaaand there it was. Virgil winced, trying very hard not to show that the words had struck a nerve. He liked horror, gore, all that, sure, but there were just some specific things- squicks, you could call them. Remus would obviously use that to his advantage, so the only option was to try very hard to zone out and not look like he was disturbed.

“But even then- Hey, why are you making that face?”

Mission failed.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Remus shifted closer- invasively closer, his gaze studying. 

“You were calming down earlier, what's with the scrunch-nose?”

Virgil stared at his hands, chipping away his black nail polish. Remus was nearly as good at reading lies as Janus, and twice as hard to get rid of.

“It's just- skin, slicing, that stuff just-” he ticked, head spasming sideways briefly at even the thought of that kind of pain.

“Oh,” Remus said plainly, not even a hint of malice or mischief in his tone as he leaned back into his own spot, “Why didn't you just say so? Well, that last exploding head kill is way more interesting anyway, did you see that?”

That was… it? No taunting, no tormenting, he just changed the topic, like that? 

Remus, continuing to be weirdly perceptive, scoffed as though he was reading Virgil’s mind.

“What? Just because I like screwing with you prudes sometimes doesn't mean I want to give you a panic attack. Where's the fun in that?”

Anxiety nodded mutely, bewildered. Remus seemed appeased by that and quickly resumed his running commentary.

And if Virgil eventually decided to take part in the discussion, well, it wasn’t a big deal anyway. Just some polite conversation about bodily mutilation.

 The television darkened as the screen was washed by credits, filling the space where the disfigured face of the main character had been mere moments prior, the result of a pretty predictable twist ending. Virgil stood, arching his back up in a stretch. His arms raised higher, one joint or another crackling at the motion. Fuck, he was sore. How long had he been sitting still?

Remus hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch. He tapped his claws along the remote, exiting to the homescreen and looking expectantly at Virgil.

“You don't wanna watch anything else?” He asked abruptly, drawing a confused glance from his companion, “This is fun- and they're still arguing up there, so it kinda makes sense to stay, it’s really the best solution if you-”

Virgil huffed a laugh at the rambling. It sounded like some shit he’d say, for crying out loud.

“Dude, chill, I was just gonna make some tea before putting on another movie,” the clear relief that ran across Remus' face- quickly replaced by a wide grin- wasn't anything shy of… sweet. Virgil was sure this day couldn't get any fucking weirder, if he was finding anything endearing about the walking talking dirty joke before him. “Uh, you want anything? Since you're gonna stick around, and all.”

Remus jumped up, following Virgil into the MindPalace’s small kitchen happily. In one smooth motion, he swung up onto the counter and slid down it, seating himself almost on top of the stove.

“No hot leaf soup for me, thanks, but I will take one of those mugs!”

Virgil raised a brow, staring the creative trait down before shrugging. He passed him one of the mugs, a generic and patternless one- so that the other sides probably wouldn't notice its absence. He busied himself by setting up the kettle, trying not to wince at the loud wet crunch that resulted when Remus took a bite of his snack.

“Hey,” Remus said around a mouthful of ceramic chunks, “I know just the movie we should watch next.”

Virgil shifted around the various tea boxes littering the cabinets, searching for something with a kick. He hazarded a glance to Remus, immediately regretting the decision when he saw the blood dribbling down his chin from the cuts marring his lips. Anxiety cringed, turning his head back and grabbing for the first brightly-colored box he saw. It took him a moment to respond.

“Okay… what is it?” 

“It's awful- I mean, really, the acting is unbearable and it’s fucking insane- but it's funny. You like making fun of stuff, right? It's like that, but there's still a ton of agonizing death, which is always a fun bonus.”

“What's it about?” Virgil was hesitantly intrigued, his gaze flicking up from the steadily heating kettle. He wasn't exactly keen on staring down the gory scene of Remus’ mouth, so he settled his focus on the trait’s eyeball brooch. 

“Uhn-uhn! No spoilers, this is one you have to see for yourself. It's funnier that way.”

Virgil made a noncommittal sound, tapping his nails against the counters.

“Nothing too bad happens- not that you can't handle, anyway. No slicing and not many jumpscares.”

He resisted the urge to snap 'how do you know what I can’t handle?' because Remus actively trying to reassure him was. Something. Something that he appreciated, maybe, a little.

“Okay, fine. I didn't have anything else in mind. A ‘So-Bad-It’s-Good’ thing sounds alright.”

The obnoxious gnawing of Remus destroying what was left of his cup suddenly ceased, replaced by a stunned silence. Virgil finally met his eyes (finding that the lacerations around Remus’ mouth were already healing themselves, as if they'd never existed).

“You’re taking my suggestion?”

Virgil cleared his throat, finding himself unable to break the intense eye-contact now that it had been established.

“It's not a big deal or anything, man. Just a movie.” 

Remus nodded enthusiastically, a grin splitting his face ear-to-ear. Very literally. The expression was so unnatural and cartoonish on a human(ish) face, that Virgil couldn't help but be startled into laughter. Remus looked even more delighted at that reaction, leaning forward over the stove. At that point, Virgil very much couldn't suppress the noises, snorts bubbling up from his throat against his will.

“You look-” another bout of chuckling, “-you look ridiculous, Remus.”

“Aw, thank you! I was going for manic, but I'll settle for that, too.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, hunching in on himself to get his breathing back to normal. 

With no warning, Remus lifted himself up onto his knees and craned his body around the vigilant trait, snatching the kettle from the stove and flipping the dial to ‘off’. Instinctively, Anxiety recoiled from the proximity. The tension fell away when he saw that the other was simply pouring the hot water into Virgil’s mug for him.

“Dude, it wasn't whistling yet?”

“I know; it was hissing like it was about to start. You're boring and don't like loud noises, especially when you’re all on edge like this, so,” he set the kettle back down, passing the warm mug to Virgil. 

Virgil stared at him, then at the drink in his hand, then back up at the Duke. He was, for what felt like the millionth time that day, unsure of how to react.

He… really hadn't thought that Remus would pick up on stuff like that. He should probably start getting used to that, maybe.

“I'm-” Virgil dragged his finger up and down the handle of his mug, “I'm not that on edge anymore, actually.”

The look that Remus sent him was indecipherable. 

“C’mon, I’ll queue up that flick I told you about.”

“Yeah,” Virgil let out a deep breath, one he hadn't even known he'd been holding, “Yeah, okay.”

 The floor was bubbling, popping, blistering with red fury. It was lava, sending bright flaming sparks in all directions. Thankfully for Remus and Virgil, sitting close together on the couch and viciously mocking cabin fever, the vicious rage was exclusive to one small circle near the staircase.

Virgil, who had been happily tearing apart the leading guy’s acting, cut himself off abruptly.

“Shit- wait- shit.”

Remus shook himself out of his raucous laughter, looking up in confusion. His eyes finally settled on the crimson patch of carpet, a look of realization crossing them. His voice turned much quieter than what fit him.

“Oh, fuck.”

It was like a volcanic eruption localized entirely within the living room, fire blazing in a tall column. From the emotional display, Roman rose up, face nearly as red as his method of transportation. 

There was that brief moment, right when a stressful situation appeared, of antithetical serenity. Virgil felt his muscles slacken in shock, his long-empty mug falling from his hands and landing on the carpet with a dull thud. A rush of calmness hollowed out his chest, lingering for just a few seconds before being replaced by panic. Tension returned to his limbs mere moments after that, like it was pulling him taut.

Roman wasn't even looking at them- in fact, he hadn't seemed to notice his brother or best friend at all. The fire fell back down, leaving a charred patch of carpet that would likely take a long time to repair itself. The passionate trait growled, a sound that bordered on a scream as he clawed his hands down his face. He stamped his boot sharply against the ground, igniting another small fire with the impact.

“Fuck!” He cried, ever oblivious to his audience. With a hasty wave, the flames flickered and disappeared. Roman glared down at the blackened spot where it had been, winding his arms tightly around himself. He took a few shaky breaths, but if anything he only looked worse off for it.

“Fuck,” this time spoken quieter, but with no less vitriol. An immaculately-manicured hand raised itself to cover his mouth, tightening around his face desperately as tears slipped from his eyes down his fingers. He turned on his heel and took the stairs two at a time.

In his wake, as the television had been paused, the only thing that Virgil could hear was buzzing in his skull.

What had happened? What was happening, currently?! Things had gone so wrong and it was all because of Virgil’s negligence- what bad things could have been prevented if he had just been there? Or- or even just listening in! When had he even stopped listening? He was supposed to protect them but he just gave up, just because he ‘couldn't handle it’, and now something was Wrong with Roman and he couldn't even focus on listening to them all now, not like this. He couldn’t hear, couldn’t hear or see anything at all.

A rough, calloused hand wrapped around his wrist. Virgil's shallow breath staggered even more at the feeling, the warbly noise of speech failing to meet his ears. His eyes were closed tight, he realized, stinging with emotion behind his eyelids.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Four seconds, four strikingly gentle presses against the vein of Virgil’s wrist. If it weren't for the slight edge of a claw, he could've confused the motion for one of Patton’s.

The four taps were followed by a brief pause, then a steady round of seven taps. Another pause, and then eight. As Virgil focused, as much as he could anyway, on the presses, the screaming of his mind very gradually abated. First, he pried his eyes open, staring down at the hand around his arm. Watching the tapping, feeling it, was grounding enough for his hearing to return in time. Virgil could hear Remus beside him, breathing deeply as a guide, and copying the exercise became that much easier. In for four, hold  for seven, out for eight. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

Remus didn't stop when Virgil did it properly one time over, when he was still shaking and teary. He didn't speak up even when the well behind Anxiety's eyes ran dry, after what had to be a dozen rounds of even breaths. It was only when Virgil finally, hesitantly slipped his wrist out of the other's grasp on his own terms that Remus made any sounds.

“Do you remember when you taught me to do makeup? Late teens, early twenties, around then?”

Talk about a topic shift. Virgil glanced up in confusion.

“I guess so? Wasn't that, like, the only time that we hung out and actually got along?” They’d never exactly been close, Virgil had made sure of that. It was, in retrospect, a regrettable decision on his part.

“Yeah. I was so bad at it, remember?”

“Hell yes, I remember,” Virgil felt a tiny smirk tug his lips at the memory, “You literally never sat still. You were and are the most impatient person I've ever met.”

“I’ve gotten a lot better, Vee.”

Virgil glanced at the bruise-like eyeshadow circling the Duke's eyes, but refrained from saying anything. Knowing him (kind of knowing him? Starting to know him better now? Whatever.) it was most definitely intentionally off-putting, and probably not a good way to judge his actual ability.

“But I’ve seen how you do it, when you really, really try; I think you're still better than me with it, ju-u-ust barely.”

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Virgil wasn't entirely sure where this was going, but he couldn't find the soft excitement in Remus’ eyes anything other than enticing. The creative side laughed, flapping his hand.

“It would be fun if you did it for me again! Just like old times, ey?”

Virgil stared at him, considering him carefully.

“You want me to do your makeup?” 

“Yes!” Remus leaned forward with his confirmation, but for once that didn't involve violating Virgil’s post-panic attack bubble, “It'll give you something to do with your hands other than peeling back all your skin, at the very least.”

Oh, right. Virgil not-so-subtly lifted his nails from his palms, wincing at the irritated red spots coloring his hands.

Truth be told, the idea wasn't… unappealing. It was an activity well between mindless and active, repetitive and artistic. Plus, he didn't exactly love being alone after attacks, and if anything Remus would be lively company. Company that he sort of, maybe, possibly was looking forward to spending the rest of the day with anyway, unfortunate events notwithstanding.

“Yeah, alright, if you're sure you want-”

“Great! Wait right there, bee-arh-bee,” before the words were even fully out of his mouth, Remus went limp and fell sideways off of the couch, falling right through the floor. 

In his absence, there was a void where his noise had been. Virgil stared at the paused movie scene, picking apart the little details of the frame just to have something to do. His mind drifted off to the state that Roman had been in when he entered. The sight of his friend so furious burned itself on the backs of Virgil’s eyelids. He knew that the anxiety wasn't all his own, either; he could feel it like waves from the other side of the MindPalace, the origin point clearly belonging to Roman.

He should check on him, shouldn't he? Or would that make it worse? Virgil certainly didn't feel like he was in any state to help. But then there was Patton to consider- something must have happened up there. Should he look for him, too?

There was a whoosh.

“I leave you alone for five seconds and you get right back to thinking!” Remus strode across the room, flopping right back onto the couch. Held in his arms was an enormous multi-pocketed bag, items clattering around within at every jostle their owner made.

“Overthinking is literally my whole job, man, this shouldn't surprise you,” Virgil shrugged, trying not to sound as relieved as he felt.

Remus simply rolled his eyes and dropped the makeup case onto Virgil's lap, sitting criss-cross parallel to him, their knees brushing slightly.

Virgil hesitated for a moment, scanning Remus' face, but all the other did was smile and blink (one eye at a time). 

Virgil zipped open the bag, rifling through and finding an overwhelming array of gaudy colors and odd products.

“Was there, like, a 'look' that you want to go for?”

Remus shrugged.

“Just go for it! I’m a blank canvas. The worse, the better.”

Virgil chuckled, picking out a few items to fit a theme he was coming up with and getting right to work.

Though it had been years since they’d last spent time together, it wasn’t awkward. In fact, it felt more comfortable than it had back then.

Remus managed to sit almost perfectly still, chattering the entire time that Virgil worked. Yet again his voice served as something like white-noise, wherein Anxiety only had to contribute whenever he chose. Remus only quieted when Virgil had to hold his face, tipping his head back to properly apply inky-black lipstick. And then, he remained silent for a moment, as they surveyed each other. 

Virgil had cleared his throat, warmth prickling at his ears, and the ceaseless rambling resumed after that.

In what felt like hours and no time at all, Virgil was finally satisfied with his work.

“Alright, you're all done,” he capped the bottle of mascara in his hand, rifling through Remus' bag for a mirror, “Wanna see?” 

Just as he felt the unmistakable cool surface of glass on his fingertips, Remus grabbed his wrist in both hands. 

“What-?”

“Not so fast! Now it's my turn,” he announced, his zealous eyes even more prominent on his face thanks to the thick wings of eyeliner around them. 

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Virgil looked from the assortment of garish colors that he'd mostly stayed away from in the makeup case, and then back up at the Duke.

“Usually: yes. But I am dead serious right now, Vee.”

Remus looked pleading, legitimately pouting. 

Virgil huffed. The side had gone out of his way to help him, when he really didn't have to, so…

“You're not going to just use this as an excuse to draw all over my face, are you?”

“I mean, no promises that I'll be able to restrain myself, but! Gimme a chance anyway, I can make you even hotter than you already are! Plus, we'll match then.”

“... Fine. Just- nothing too crazy, alright?”

“Again, no promises.”

Virgil groaned, but he still passed the bag to Remus.

 “Holy shit...”

Remus leaned over the basin of the bathroom sink, drumming his hands on the counter excitedly. He was starry-eyed as he observed the dark, dramatic colors covering his face: metallic emerald-green eyeshadow, excessively long lashes, and winged eyeliner sharp enough to cut a bitch. His lips were black as void, but shimmered like glitter. Everything about the look was dangerous, confrontational, and grim. 

“This is more out there than I’d usually wear, but. Yeah, holy shit.”

Virgil's expression, despite his best efforts, was equally awed as he peered into the mirror. The color around his eyes was mismatched; a lime to moss green gradient over his purple eye, lavender to royal violet over his green one- both colors contrasted by smudged black eyeliner under his eye. His signature Racoon Look had been maintained in that aspect, but it was even more exaggerated. In addition to that, Remus had taken to drawing various little symbols along Virgil's cheekbones, including things like upside-down crosses. Finally, there was the fuchsia lip-gloss, stark against Virgil’s paler-than-normal foundation. 

“It’s okay, I guess,” Virgil breathed reverently. 

“I love it!” Remus crowed, clambering onto the counter just to get a better look at himself. Somehow, he'd already managed to smudge the hell out of his eyeshadow, but it kinda… worked for him, if Virgil was being honest.

“Vee, we have got to do this more often!”

Virgil looked from his reflection to Remus', startled in a way he didn't entirely understand. The intrusive facet met his gaze through the mirror, the smile sliding off his face when Virgil didn’t respond to him.

“Right, Raggedy-Anx? It doesn't have to be this, specifically, if you really don't want to. We could just watch movies together, that's fine. Or we could do anything at all! Right?”

Virgil was still silent, lost in his mind. Remus fell from a kneeling position to sitting with his legs hanging off the counter, turning his back to the mirror.

“Was this a one-time thing? That's alright, too, if you just needed help calming down. I'm not as good as the others, I know, but if they're ever too busy again, you'll think of me when you need help, at least. Right?”

Finally, Virgil snapped out of his daze when he heard the panicked edge to Remus’ voice, feeling his anxiety as Virgil noticed the wild look that had completely erased his giddiness. It was a look that Virgil had seen plenty of times before, when Remus had been ignored far too long and was right about to start ripping things to shreds for some scraps of attention. Only then did Virgil fully recognize what the expression actually meant; the deep, terrified need that swirled behind the look, unsure of how to ask for what it really wanted after so many denials of that very want. 

“Shit, sorry,” Virgil moved to stand in front of him, eye-level to Remus even though he was elevated by the counter, “Hey, it's alright, Re, everything's fine.”

Remus was still trying very determinedly to smile.

“I know! Hell, I’m not the anxious one, I'm the one that makes people anxious,” his laugh sounded like it came from a throat full of broken glass, “I just- I liked this, ya know?”

“I know,” Virgil leaned forward, coaxing Remus' arms away from where he'd wrapped them around himself, “I like this, too.”

Remus let Virgil hold onto him, surprised into something like obedience.

“You? What?”

“I like this,” it wasn't as though Virgil was expecting to hug Remus, but it seemed to have happened on its own as they moved. It was leagues nicer than he could have imagined, despite the smell. “I like you…-r company.”

“That's weird,” Remus' legs curled around Virgil’s waist. Virgil rested his hands on Remus’ hips. He listened as the creative trait's breathing evened out, vaguely aware that the situation was similar to the one just an hour or so before. Except, the roles had been reversed, of course.

“I missed you. I know I never told you, but I missed you.”

Virgil felt guilt, hot and molten, dripping down his throat. He couldn't lie; he hadn't missed Remus when he left. But now he did, in a roundabout sort of way. He missed what could have been, all of the possible understanding and friendship and likely more that he could have had for so long with Remus- all of which he'd let slip by for years. Due to just writing the artist off as disgusting, or unnecessary. 

And perhaps some of that misunderstanding was Remus' fault as well, but Virgil couldn’t find it in himself to hold it against him.

“You don't have to anymore. Miss me, I mean. I'm- fuck, I'm so sorry.”

“Me too,” Remus said, pulling back to settle Virgil with a happy-yet-tearfilled gaze.

“Aw, hey,” he tightened his grip at Remus' hips, smirking, “You're gonna fuck up all my hard work on that eyeliner, Re.”

Remus laughed, loud and shrieky and him, smiling unnaturally and brilliantly wide once again. Virgil's breath caught in his throat- not for the first time that day, he found himself trapped up in that wild, energetic face.

Before Virgil was entirely aware of what he was doing, he was leaning forward, pulling Remus in by the waist. When the cackling finally stopped short, so did he, both much too far and far too close to the Duke. 

He didn't have the chance to explain himself, or apologize, or anything, because soon enough understanding flashed in Remus' eyes.

“Oh, oh yes, oh hell fucking yes.” 

Remus didn’t wait a second longer before closing the distance and smashing his lips against Virgil’s. A startled sound bubbled up in his throat, dying quickly as he acclimated to what was happening. Just as he did, he was reciprocating the kiss. 

Their teeth clashed together uncomfortably, and Virgil was hyper-aware of the threat both his own and Remus’ fangs posed if they weren’t careful, making it far from the perfect first kiss. But he wouldn’t have wanted that anyway, nor would he have expected it. It was, somehow, better. 

Remus' hand dragged down Virgil's back, his fingers fitting onto the notches of the facet’s spine. Virgil shivered, pressing himself flush against the counter (and Remus) and digging his thumbs into the trait’s hips. The motion earned him a beautiful whine from the other as the kiss deepened, growing less awkward and more heated by the second.

Virgil was unaware of how much time was passing, but when they finally parted, both were short of breath and significantly disheveled. Remus had his back pressed up against the mirror, his hair even fuzzier than its usual state, expression dazed and face flushed. From what Virgil could make out in his own reflection, he wasn't much better off. 

Just as soon as they'd separated, Remus' hand was on his face, his thumb dragging just under Anxiety's lip.

“You fucked up your lipstick,” he teased.

“So did you,” Virgil answered with a smirk, leaning into the touch. 

“I guess we'll have to fix it later.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Remus wriggled himself out of his pinned position, twisting around Virgil. He managed to situate himself and drop down from the bathroom counter, his manner suggestive, “Because all I wanna do right now is finish watching Cabin Fever with my new goth boyfriend and makeout during the boring parts.”

“Boyfriend?” Virgil ignored the jolt of warmth he felt at that, determined to stay nonchalant as he (subtly (not subtly)) slipped his hand into Remus’.

“You disagree?” 

Virgil pretended to think it over, leading them to the door and taking his time to click it open. 

“Nah, I don’t disagree,” he said finally, “I think I like the sound of that, actuall- yyyy.”

Virgil stopped short in the open doorway, voice dragging out in his shock. Behind him, he could feel Remus trying to crane around him to see what was happening, but Virgil didn’t move to accommodate him. Well, more accurately, he felt like he couldn’t really move at all, too busy parsing out the scene in front of him.

In the corner of the sectional- sharing a cushion- Janus and Patton sat, the former holding aloft a glass of wine, the latter snacking on a muffin. They sat with their legs tangled together, and had seemed to be engrossed with each other before the interruption. Both had paused mid-conversation to gawk in Virgil's direction, twin deer-in-headlights expressions on their faces. 

“What-” Virgil began, bewildered.

“The fuck?” Remus finished, pushing his way out of the bathroom.

Janus struggled to sit up into a more dignified position and take the reigns of the conversation. It didn't take him long to overcome his surprise at the interruption, his surveying gaze sweeping over the other two Dark Sides contemplatively. The look made Virgil’s skin crawl. 

“You know, we- well, we could ask you two-” he gestured at their interlocked hands, “-just the same question, couldn't we?” 

For a moment, there was silence. Virgil looked from Patton to Janus. Janus looked from Virgil to Remus. Patton looked at the wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Remus looked at everyone and broke the silence.

“You didn't see us,” he announced, sidestepping his way to the staircase and dragging Virgil along with him, “And we didn't see you.” 

Janus squinted, tipped his head, and nodded conspiratorially. 

“Deal.”

With that little grant, Virgil and Remus darted up the stairs and into the sanctuary of the dimly lit hallway as quickly as they could. Luckily for them, Roman was probably either in a deep depression sleep or far into the imagination by now, and Logan Did Not Engage with Interpersonal Drama if he could help it. 

There was a second for appreciating the absurdity of the situation (and catching their breath), before either spoke to each other.

“I’ve got a huge flat screen,” Remus piped up at last, jerking his thumb in the direction of his room. 

“Any of us can conjure literally anything we want at any time, so I'm not sure what's impressive about that.”

Remus scowled, albeit playfully.

“Hush! Come watch someone slowly be consumed by a parasite with me!”

Virgil rolled his eyes and let Remus drag him off, his complaints accompanied by absolutely no efforts to avoid the situation. 

Things were weird, there was no denying that. Maybe they'd end up being that way for a while yet, and Virgil knew he had a lot of news to catch up on, but he found that thoughts like that were way back in his mind. Whatever happened, he reasoned, he would still have this comfort. The arms of someone he was finally coming to know wrapped tight around him, playing up his back, a mouth trailing kisses on his neck as he half-watched horror films. Yes, things would be difficult with the others, but it was secondary.

There was someone on his side now. Solidly, unarguably there for him. With him. And that made it all feel a little bit easier.

[ruined-my-dramatic-entrance]

Hat’s Off to You

Platonic fluff, a bit silly or OOC but not a crackfic lol, 1659 words TW: S!Janus

“What’s going on here?” Patton asked as he popped up.

 After rolling his eyes and a moment of hesitation, Virgil replied, “Princey brought up some dumb idea about Janus having some weird secret hidden under his hat and now he and Logan are debating it.”

 “Well, what’s all hat about?” the moral side inquired further with a grin.

 Though Patton had expected Virgil to at least smirk at this, the latter instead protested, “Please, just get them to stop for now or something…”

 “Okay, kiddo. Sorry about Pat — uh, I mean that,” Patton corrected himself quickly before turning his attention to the other two.

 “I still think it’s probably something weird and evil, like some devil’s horns or — or pointed ears,” Roman insisted, gesturing to the vague areas that those body parts would be placed on himself.

 “If Janus were to be hiding something underneath his hat — which I still have very significant doubts about — then it would probably be a result of his half-snake composition, such as a lack of hair on that side of his head, covered by scales,” Logan chimed in with an even tone.

 “Well, yeah, maybe, but it still could be something… much more sinister that reveals how Thomas truly visualizes Deceit in his mind,” the prince suggested with a deep curiosity.

 “Wouldn’t that be you, Roman?” Patton asked with an innocent smile.

 “Wha—? No, I’m not a liar! I’m an actor but I am not Deceit,” Roman dismissed, clearly offended.

 “No, that’s not what I meant, and I was talking about Janus, not evil,” Patton said, subtly reminding Roman to be kinder about the side in question. “I meant that the way Thomas views Deceit as a concept would be your creativity, kiddo,” he explained.

 Roman paused for a moment. “I… suppose you’re right,” he agreed.

 “That would make sense, though it would still have the influence of how Thomas feels about the concept of Deceit in genera—” Logan tried to elaborate, but was cut off by Roman.

 “By Artemis’s beautiful bow, I think I know!” the creative side exclaimed with a wide gesture.

 “You’ve… decided on a guess?” Logan prompted, frowning slightly in curiosity and pushing his glasses backwards as he scanned Roman with his eyes.

 “Oh, brother, what is it now?” Virgil groaned, pulling his hood up over his head.

 “That’s the spirit! What do you think, Roman?” Patton encouraged excitedly.

 “Wolf ears,” Roman answered simply, as if the answer was obvious.

 “Uh… might’ve misheard you there, Kiddo,” Patton fretted, leaning in a bit closer in hopes of understanding Roman’s words better.

 “That… is an interesting guess. I suppose I could see some reasoning for this,” Logan mused, placing his knuckle against his lips in thought.

 “Please tell me you’re not actually considering this, dude,” Virgil pleaded, pulling his sleeves over his hands.

 “No, no, I’m serious!” Roman persisted, holding out his hands in a “wait” gesture. “From my best understanding of how Thomas views deception, he gets consistently stuck on the phrase ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’ and sometimes he imagines liars as having certain wolf traits,” he finally explained. “Though, he usually only does that past 3am,” he added with a slight shrug before looking towards the rest of the group for approval.

 “In addition to that, Janus does seem to... work alone, if you will, with his varying goals for Thomas — a lone wolf, perhaps,” Logan elaborated, “Wolves are also regarded for their intelligence and have very complicated social dynamics, maybe tying into Janus’s ability to use charisma to his advantage. Symbolically, wolves are also regarded as confident, which he definitely exhibits.”

 “Come on, you don’t actually think Janus would have something as… as stupid as that,” Virgil disagreed, rubbing the back of his neck. Logan narrowed his eyes at the way he stumbled over his words.

 “Virgil, I expected you to be less… concerned about this matter — furthermore, to mock him for it,” the logical side deduced, tilting his head slightly in confusion. “So… either you’re embarrassed about something similar or something is wrong here,” he declared, causing the room to fall silent for a few seconds.

 “What’s wrong with Virge, Logan? Don’t just leave it all… ominous like that! It’s scary,” Patton fretted, looking at the side in question with worry.

 At that moment, Virgil showed up, shoving aside the “Virgil” that had been there before, who was pushed into the wall and reverted back into his true form.

 “Did someone say ‘scary?’” Virgil asked nonchalantly, giving Patton a quick glance before returning to glaring at Janus.

 “Deceit!!” Logan yelled, pointing at Janus.

 “Yes, yes, we’ve noticed, Logan, no need to sound the alarm, especially not so loudly,” Janus remarked.

 “Virgil!” Patton and Roman exclaimed in unison with smiles.

 “What was he doing here? What did he say?” Virgil asked, voice serious and impatient.

 “Nothing much! Since I got here, he was just denying some of Roman and Logan’s theories about what’s under his hat,” Patton recounted.

 “Yes, padre is right; that’s all the snake has done, nothing particularly evil or sinister,” Roman confirmed with a slight nod as if his valiant watch had kept Janus in check, whereas in reality he hadn’t really noticed.

 Virgil snickered. “You mean ‘cause he’s insecure about this?” he asked with a mischievous smile as he managed to snatch Janus’s hat, revealing a pair of… dark wolf ears.

 “Hah! I knew it! I called it! That was me, I was right. Got it before Logan,” Roman announced proudly before clearing his throat awkwardly and growing quiet to listen.

 “Only because it was your interpretation of symbolism,” Logan muttered under his breath, petty.

 “Aww, you’re like a teddy bear!” Patton commented with a gasp, “Or a puppy! Why would you hide this? We wouldn’t make fun of you for something so cute and nonthreatening!” He paused suddenly, realizing that he had just spoken the exact reason. “Ohh…” He grimaced slightly in guilt.

 “Yes, well, isn’t this lovely. This is exactly what I wanted, Virgil, thank you,” Janus complained in annoyance, shooting the man in question a pointed look. “It’s obvious that this is totally a part of myself that I like and wanted to share with the group.”

 “Janus, we won’t make fun of you for it, especially if you’re so insecure about it,” Patton reassured, looking around the room for agreement and receiving nods from everyone… as well as muffled snickers from Roman and Virgil.

 “Grandma, what big ears you have,” Roman murmured quietly under his breath, unable to resist the temptation.

 “What does it matter anyway? It’s clear I’m viewed as but a beast or a — a monstrous creature. Why would words make that any different?” Janus retorted to Patton, both his eyes and his phrasing giving away his hidden sadness.

 “Well, Janus, you of all sides should understand the power that words can hold,” Logan reminded tersely.

 “Regardless, Thomas could have at least chosen something scarier rather than just… an amalgamation of different animal symbols out of confusion,” Janus griped, gesturing into the air in frustration.

 “Weird is better than scary if it’s constant. Trust me on this one,” Virgil insisted, though his expression turned to one of slight… sympathy?

 “Trust isn’t exactly my strong suit,” Deceit responded, casting an unpleasant glance across the rest of the room. “I wonder why?” he added sarcastically.

 “It’s not my department either but…” Virgil trailed off, sighing. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this to you of all people,” he muttered. “But… I know what it’s like to feel different and unnecessary and — and like you’re built to just be weird, to just be the outcast,” he admitted, avoiding looking into the half-snake’s eyes. “I know what it’s like but… it’s not like that here, not with them. Not with us,” he assured, fiddling with his sleeves.

 “I think we all owe Janus an apology,” Patton pointed out. “I’m sorry for not respecting your privacy,” he said, looking at the aforementioned man with empathy.

 “I apologize for my earlier behavior. I was curious but not considerate,” Logan chimed in concisely.

 “I… suppose I’m sorry too,” Roman agreed, though he opened his mouth to say something else and closed it a moment later.

 “I guess I shouldn’t have… done that,” Virgil mumbled, handing Janus his hat back. “But you shouldn’t have impersonated me either.”

 “Very well, very well… I’m sorry for taking your place and deceiving you,” Janus replied, “though it did take them quite a while to catch on…”

 “It is indeed odd that Janus’s impersonation of you is much more accurate than of me or Patton,” Logan commented, frowning again in contemplation.

 “And that Virgil already knew about Janus’s ears,” Roman added, looking at Virgil in confusion.

 “Well, I —” Virgil began nervously.

 “— The little brat has done this before, you see,” Janus excused as he interrupted the anxious side. “It was terribly irritating,” he recalled about the false event, examining his nails through his gloves. “And yes, I’m afraid that the emo is the simplest to mimic -- it’s dreadfully easy,” he mocked, though said emo looked up at him when he realized that Janus had just… covered for him and his past as a dark side. That was not anywhere near what Virgil had expected.

 “Ah, that would make sense,” Logan accepted with a slight nod.

 “I, for one, still can’t decide whether his fluffy little ears are scary or, uh, adorable,” Roman admitted.

 Janus scoffed and examined his nails through his glove. “If you’re disturbed by this, wait until you find out what Remus hides under his mustache,” he pointed out.

 After a beat of silence, every other side in the room turned to him in a mixture of surprise, fear, and disgust, all exclaiming some variation of “hold up,” “wait,” or “what?!” Except for Patton, who simply remarked, “Well, I suppose we must-ask him later” with a chuckle.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 5 of 26

Title: Ninth House (Alex Stern #1) (2019) 

Author: Leigh Bardugo 

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, Mystery, Horror, Third-Person, Unreliable Narrator, Female Protagonist, LGBT Protagonist (?).

Rating: 9/10

Date Began: 1/31/2021

Date Finished: 2/06/2021

Alex Stern's had the ability to see ghosts for as long as she can remember-- and it's led her life in a terrible direction. At twenty, she is the sole survivor of a gruesome multiple murder case in Los Angeles. In the hospital, she's given a chance to turn her life around. She receives a full ride scholarship to Yale, but in return has to serve as an apprentice to Lethe House, an organization tasked with monitoring the shady magical dealings of the university's secret societies. Determined to leave her past behind, Alex accepts the offer.

But things start to go wrong partway into the school year. Her mentor Darlington disappears under mysterious circumstances. Months later, a young woman named Tara Hutchins turns up dead on a ritual night. Alex suspects the secret societies of Yale are involved in the murder, but no one seems willing to believe her. Going off a hunch, Alex decides to investigate on her own. But the past she's running from threatens to return and change everything.  

“All you children playing with fire, looking surprised when the house burns down.” 

Full review, minor spoilers, and content warnings under the cut. 

Content warnings for the book: Graphic violence, gore, murder, death, etc. R*pe, p*dophilia, grooming, abuse, and associated trauma depicted/discussed. Drug use, including recreational drug use, underage drug use, addiction, overdoses, and drugging without consent. Mind control/altered mental states. Body horror. Depictions of racism, antisemitism, and misogyny.

Ninth House is not the book I expected it to be. It has a generic-sounding concept; urban fantasy murder mystery! Protag with mysterious powers! Secret societies! I really liked Bardugo's YA Six of Crows duology, so I went in knowing she's a good writer and hoping for the best. Ninth House exceeded expectations for sure. This is one of those stories that has a lot going on beneath the surface, full of interesting twists, turns, and all-too-real social issues.

While this might seem like a “dark academia” kind of story, Ninth House is actually critical of the whole concept. The story takes place around Yale, stars college students, and focuses on the real-but-fictionalized secret societies of the university. But these details often feel incidental. Alex’s (and to some extent, Darlington’s) past, the murder investigation, and her ability to see ghosts is more important to the story. The societies are groups of privileged rich kids using magic for stupid and selfish ends. For example, one society kidnaps a dude, performs involuntary surgery on him, and reads his intestines to predict stock futures. Magic is apparently dying, and the societies have built themselves on top of the few nexuses of magical power in New Haven. The fact that a bunch of asshole college kids have near-exclusive access to a limited and powerful resource sure is a big problem. They’re also ultra pretentious, using certain languages or appropriating certain mythologies just because they seem more magical.

That’s not to say true mythological symbolism is totally absent. Water is a notable part of Ninth House, along with its associated meanings -- change, death, rebirth, cleansing the past, and so on. Lethe, the titular ninth house, gets its name from the river in Greek mythology. Anyone who knows its role there will have a fun time with certain story developments. There’s also a lot of tarot imagery not directly addressed in the story. So history/mythology is significant, but it’s not spoon-fed to the reader. 

There’s a lot of social commentary in the story told through a fantasy lens. Probably the most obvious one is r*pe culture and its horrific effects. Considering the numerous scandals centered around sexual violence, especially in colleges, it all feels very timely. There’s also a more general discussion of privilege and how it affects one’s access to a school like Yale. Alex is notably a victim of racism, misogyny, and poverty to some extent. Bardugo clearly did a lot of research about Yale and the social issues in the novel, and this comes through while reading. She even cites her many sources in the acknowledgements. 

While Ninth House is written in third-person, I still consider it an unreliable narrative. At the beginning, we know two major things about the past. (1) Darlington (the deuteragonist) disappeared under mysterious circumstances a few months ago and might be dead. (2) Alex, the main protagonist, was the sole survivor of a multiple murder case, but was cleared as a suspect For Reasons. Other than that, the narrative reveals few specifics about either event until much later in the story. When this finally happens, it changes a lot of things. There is also an interesting, character-driven reason why this information is obscured for so long-- but it's a big spoiler.

Bardugo also takes advantage of perspective limitations when switching between the Alex and Darlington chapters. One character might assume something, only for another character to introduce new context about it much later. This might be a simple concept, but it’s great when executed well. In particular I remember Alex doing something in an early chapter that seems in character at the time. Then a much later Darlington chapter throws it into question with a one-off line. I really like this kind of stuff in stories! It's an interesting way to characterize and worldbuild that's just plain fun to read. 

My LGBT Protagonist tag is a little vague because, while I'm reasonably sure Alex is bisexual, there's no direct confirmation in the story. Her relationship with Hellie does NOT come off as platonic, though. And while I'm pretty sure Darlington is meant to be the romantic interest character, Alex’s interactions with Dawes certainly give me Vibes. I have some suspicions where this might be going. Future volumes will probably address this more.

While I really liked the book, it's not quite a 10 because it's really dark, even for me. There are several (intentionally) disturbing and disgusting scenes that made me uncomfortable. Sexual violence is repugnant, and I appreciate that Bardugo depicts it in such a negative, traumatic light. But unlike Six of Crows (which explores this as well), Ninth House is pretty graphic, and I had a hard time getting through several scenes. It's a personal thing but did affect my overall enjoyment of the book. I can easily see other people having problems, too: it depends on your sensitivity to such content. 

In addition, Ninth House’s pacing drags after the big mid-story reveals. There's two exciting twists in a row, then a good quarter of the book to go after that. It's nice to view the story with new context in mind, but it feels slower and less interesting than the reveals themselves. The story also takes on a predictable "we SOLVED the mystery! ... or did we?" story loop, which I feel I've seen a million times. Alex does some real dumb/out-of-character stuff near the end in order to keep this going. That being said, while I predicted some of the final ending, I think it all comes together in a satisfying way. There's lots of little hints that are fun to go back to; Ninth House is one of those books where looking stuff up as you go REALLY helps. 

Ninth House lays the groundwork for an interesting series, and the ending is obvious sequel bait. I'm interested to see where the story could go based on some of the reveals and conclusions of the ending. There's also the impossible-to-ignore social commentary of the book; I have to wonder if that will continue in future plots, and what form that will take if so. Either way, whenever the next book comes out I’ll probably read it! 

[moneypedia]

By Drew Shepherd

“You’re so judgmental!!!”

That’s the response I get when I delve a little too deep into my analytical side.

I’m somewhat of a perfectionist myself, so it’s no surprise that I hold others to my own lofty standards. And that’s one of many flaws I’m still working on.

There are certain times, however, when I’m unapologetic in my ways. And as you can see by the title of this article, this is one of those times.

The ability to screen out promiscuous women is one of the most valuable skills any man can have. It keeps you from wasting precious resources on a girl who couldn’t care less about you, and it protects you from being yet another clueless man in the dark.

A girl who sleeps around is never a good choice for your investment. And no matter what our culture tries to prove, the truth is that past sexual experience will always affect future relationships for the worse.

That’s why I created this list of 15 red flags to look for when you evaluate a potential partner.

This list is by no means exhaustive, and I’m sure there are plenty more signs you should be aware of too. But this one is intended to be a relatively quick check, and I’ve tried to limit it to signs you can notice within a few weeks at the most, or that you can easily find out with a scan of her social media.

Now I’m sure both you and I will catch some flak here for being “judgmental”, but remember, it’s not wrong to look out for your own interests. And in order to protect those interests, you need to discern the character of the people closest to you.

Being judgmental is assuming people’s character based on qualities outside their control. Discernment is deducing their character based on info they freely provide.

Only a fool would need a DNA test on an apple tree to confirm what it is…

Smart people just look at the fruit.

The 15 Red Flags Every Man Should Know

#1 She can’t stay at home. / She’s a party girl.

What it means: She needs excitement.

If she can’t enjoy a quiet night at home, walk away.

These kind of girls seem fun and interesting at first, but their lifestyle gets old fast. Plus there’s no telling how many intoxicated guys have taken their shot at her.

So find a girl who would rather read a book, watch a TV show, work out at home, cook a new meal, or talk to her friends on the phone.

“But that doesn’t sound like fun…”

No, most guys would say it doesn’t. But you know what’s more important than fun in relationships?

Stability.

A girl who runs out of her place every night has a need for excitement. And that need will find a way to bite you.

Sure, everything will be great when you’re both in a good mood, but what happens when she gets bored, or worse, when she’s unhappy?

If she needed excitement before she met you she will need it afterwards. And those thrills won’t be limited to a few drinks with the girls.

Most people are plenty fun when you get to know them anyway. So instead of worrying about that, ask yourself some more important questions:

Will she be there during a rough patch in your life?

Will she say “no” when a bigger fish comes along?

Does she avoid situations where she’ll be unnecessarily tempted?

Those are the questions you want answered (indirectly of course—actions speak louder than words).

Work on all those first. Then you can talk about fun.

#2 She has too many male friends.

What it means: She’s addicted to male attention.

Notice I said friends here and not acquaintances.

There’s nothing wrong with a woman having a conversation with a man. And if you do have a problem with that, you’re too possessive. A woman making small talk with her male coworker isn’t cause for concern.

But if she has close relationships to other guys, and she consistently talks to them about personal issues, that’s when you should be worried.

The true number of platonic male-female relationships is very small, and most of them only exist due to special circumstances.

But for the most part, men and women do not just become friends.

The truth is that the two sexes are equal, but different. And it’s tough for us to form close bonds outside of a romantic or sexual relationship.

Any girl who has tons of guy friends is bad news because almost all of them are attracted to her. And since she hasn’t made an effort to turn them down, it means she’s addicted to their attention.

If you don’t meet the requirements of such a popular girl, she’ll eagerly pick a replacement from her pool of waiting “friends”.

#3 She has tattoos or piercings on interior body parts.

What it means: She’s impulsive.

I’ve never been a fan of tattoos, so I wouldn’t look for a significant other who has any. But this red flag is more about the positioning of the ones she has.

If a girl has tattoos or piercings on any interior body parts (i.e. her upper thighs, torso, etc.), it is not a good sign. And here are only a few reasons why:

Someone had to put it there

People don’t get tattoos to cover them up

She makes long-term decisions based on short-term results

It’s just a terrible choice all around. Why would you taint the natural beauty you have with a man-made distraction?

It doesn’t make sense to me.

But in a way, I guess you should be happy when you see a girl like this. She’s made your job easy by effectively saying, “Don’t take me serious.”

#4 She’s a (moderate to heavy) drinker. / She does recreational drugs.

What it means: She allows unnecessary temptation.

Contrary to popular belief, human beings are not inherently good. And when given the choice, we will always be inclined to do what’s morally wrong.

Many times our conscious thought overrides this inclination, but whenever alcohol or drugs are involved, that inhibition goes out the window.

The point here is related to the first red flag about party girls—she allows herself to be tempted. And why would you ever trust a girl who intentionally lowers her self-control?

You are playing with fire and you know it.

Yes, crimes like theft will always be wrong, but we all have a responsibility to lock our doors.

#5 She’s a man hater. / She tests you to see if you’re man enough.

What it means: She lacks healthy relationships with the men in her life.

“All men are blah blah blah…”

“Guys only care about blah blah blah…”

“Men don’t deserve blah blah blah blah blah…”

Yeah, it’s annoying.

Man haters are the worst. I understand that some of us really are terrible, but if every guy she meets is like that, take a look at the common denominator.

Yes, I’m tough on the opposite sex sometimes, but even I know that there are fantastic women out there.

You can’t let the good ones convince you that all girls are sweet and innocent, and you can’t let the bad ones blind you to the praiseworthy women either.

The same is true about our side.

So if a girl always complains about the men in her life, she’s either still bitter about a failed relationship, or she presents herself as an object for men to lust after.

#6 She can’t put her phone down. / She’s addicted to social media.

What it means: She craves attention and drama.

The online version of too many male friends.

A smart girl knows that male attention doesn’t result from her “amazing personality”.

The number of friends and likes she gets is directly proportional to how attractive people think she is.

This stuff is honestly common sense by now but you still see the same thing all the time. A fairly attractive girl only has to post a few pictures, and boom, she’s got 50 dudes trying to hit her up.

She probably won’t give any of them the time of day—unless one of them is like, so hot—but at least she got her daily attention fix. Plus she’s found a new group of reliable “friends” to support her.

It’s ridiculous. And don’t even get me started on the drama.

If she’s more interested in her phone than she is in you, don’t try to change her mind.

#7 She’s comfortable in revealing clothes. / She’s insensitive to male touch.

What it means: She’s used to it.

Do you really think she dresses that way for you?

Do you honestly believe it’s normal for guys to hug and hold her like it’s no big deal?

She’s used to it, man. And even if she isn’t promiscuous now, it won’t take much effort for her to get that way.

But going back to her style of dress, you might believe her choice of clothes doesn’t matter anymore. You think that times have changed, and this girl is different. So different in fact that she’s above all of human nature.

Yeah, keep believing that.

The reality is that men are visual creatures. And both men and women instinctively know that the way a women dresses determines the type of attention she gets.

Our society doesn’t like to acknowledge that fact nowadays, so we try to ignore it as best as we can.

Instead, we say she has high self esteem, that she deserves to show off her body. And if you don’t like it, you’re living in the past.

But please don’t buy the “I’m-proud-of-my-body-so-I-need-to-be-half-naked” excuse.

People who are comfortable with a fit body, or great wealth, or whatever else they have don’t feel the need to show it off. They rest assured in the knowledge that it’s there.

The only people who show off are the ones who need validation. And they always need it from multiple people.

So if any girl shows too much skin, or if she’s fine with being hugged or touched any kind of way, you need to reconsider.

#8 She believes that things just happen. / She follows her heart. / She’s in love with “love” and relationships.

What it means: She lacks emotional control.

These girls are tricky for inexperienced guys, so let me explain.

It feels great at first to be the focus of a girl’s undying love. And the highs of having a beautiful woman enraptured by you is something straight outta the movies.

But guess what?

You will never be the only one.

You just happen to be her drug of the month. And all it takes is a more attractive or manipulative man to change her loyalties.

That is the dark reality of girls who “follow their heart.”

So instead of chasing a girl who’s crazy….about you, find a girl who tempers her heart with her head.

Don’t be afraid of love. Just make sure it’s the real thing first.

#9 She uses profanity.

What it means: She doesn’t value purity.

I don’t like profanity.

Sure, I went through a phase where it was cool to sprinkle in some “sentence enhancers”, but even then it still felt wrong.

Pure speech is something I value now, and it really does bother me to hear people—male or female—casually drop f-bombs. I don’t give them a stare or anything, but I know that profanity usually indicates that something is off in your life.

That’s one reason why I never use profanity on this site. Out of all the posts on HFE, I haven’t used a single curse word, and I plan to keep it that way.

But getting back to the meaning of this red flag, it just shows a lack of class.

If a girl doesn’t have the decency to control something as simple as her conversation, think about how ugly the rest of her lifestyle is.

#10 She’s friends with known promiscuous women. / She takes an interest in promiscuous celebrities.

What it means: She won’t be shamed for sleeping around, and she will probably be encouraged to do so.

Men compartmentalize their friends.

Of course not every guy is the same, but usually he’ll have his videogame pals, his college study group, his boys from work, his basketball squad, his fantasy football crew, and so on.

And what’s funny about all these friend buckets is that they usually include men from all walks of life.

You’ll have a mix of low income guys, wealthy guys, smart guys, dumb guys, you get the point. But as long as they all have that one thing in common, they don’t really care about much else.

Women are different.

Almost every girl I know has friends who are very similar to her. Everything from the way they dress, to the grades they get, to the income they earn, to the guys they like, and even their political stance—it’s almost always the same.

While men care more about the one activity they have in common, women focus more on similar lifestyles.

And now you see where I’m going.

You may not be able to tell if she sleeps around, but if you know her friends do, it’s a giant red flag.

Even if this girl is completely innocent, she knows her friends won’t look down on her if she does indulge, and that’s why she’s surrounded herself with them.

It’s even worse if she takes an interest in promiscuous celebrities. They’re just like her friends who get around but with additional influence and social status.

If [blank] can do [blank] and still be [blank], why can’t she?

#11 She uses New Age lingo. / She’s into horoscopes.

What it means: She won’t take responsibility for her actions.

If you meet a girl who always goes on about people’s “energy”, the workings of karma, or the meaning behind her horoscope, you need to run and run quickly.

I have numerous reasons why I wouldn’t get with a girl like this, but one of the more practical ones is that she won’t take responsibility for anything.

The stars are what drive her behavior, and she will be justified in spiting you because her negative-energy-sense was tingling.

It’s bad enough dealing with people who can’t control their impulses, but if she truly believes that “the universe” is causing her actions, avoid her at all costs.

#12 She has no discernible skills outside of her physical appearance.

What it means: She’s going down the wrong career path.

Everyone needs money. And if that need is not met, people will resort to all kinds of evil to meet it.

If this particular girl doesn’t have any marketable skills outside of being “hot”, she is going down the wrong road.

Eventually she will…

A. Find some way to make money off her appearance

B. Get bailed out by another man, or…

C. Be left in a financial hole when her beauty fades

Now you could argue that A wouldn’t be too bad of a scenario depending on the work involved (e.g. innocent modeling), but none of these are favorable to her developing a solid set of skills when she had the chance.

Not only has she put herself in a position where her beauty can be abused, but she’s also shown that she’s fine with being a drain on people’s resources.

That’s not good.

Everyone needs a strong work ethic, no matter who they are. And if she doesn’t have one, she’ll be pressured into compromising situations.

#13 She rushes the relationship. / She’s a little too perfect. / She tries too hard to seem like a good match.

What it means: She’s overcompensating.

Another tricky one here.

The average guy won’t deal with many girls like this, but the name of this site isn’t Hunger for Average, so you need to look out for this one.

As you start to care more about your appearance and get your life in order, you’ll notice that girls will seemingly come out of nowhere. And the ones you were invisible to before will make it obvious that they’re interested.

Sounds great right?

But the problem is that some of these girls won’t have the best intentions.

Almost every semi-attractive girl has been treated like a princess her whole life (and that’s one reason why a man who’s trained himself to be immune to beauty is so attractive to them).

But the side effect of this treatment is that many women expect partiality from every guy they meet. So now when they see you—a man who’s in good shape and has his life together—they don’t see a person, but rather, a tool who has the means to carry “her highness” through life.

This is particularly an issue with a girl in her late 20’s or early 30’s. Her internal clock is ticking and she knows she has to find a man before her beauty fades.

But you can’t let her clock dictate your life.

People get burned all the time by making hasty choices. And it’s a known manipulation tactic to rush people into big decisions.

Yes, there will be girls who genuinely like you, and they’ll be eager to start something special together. But you need to be aware of the other scenario too.

Beauty doesn’t get ignored. And if an attractive girl hasn’t locked down a man by this time in her life, it’s very possible that she used her beauty for other means when she was younger, and now she’s scrambling to find a man who doesn’t know any better.

Of course this isn’t always the case. Breakups happen and some people just have an unfortunate streak with relationships. But barring any significant change to her appearance, and without any other special cause, the former is a real possibility.

Remember that your interests are important too. And you are not obligated to take any dude’s leftovers simply because she needs a man now.

“But she’s changed! She’s not like that anymore! And she’s committed to doing better!”

That’s great. And I applaud her. But that doesn’t mean you owe her a relationship.

I’m all for acceptance and forgiveness, but I also know that forgiveness isn’t the removal of all consequences.

#14 She accuses you of being promiscuous, or worse, tries to prove you are.

What it means: She’s telling you how she would act if she was in your position (a.k.a. projection).

A girl who makes accusations like this doesn’t understand how any decent looking person could say no to their suitors. Especially since she could never hope to do the same.

You’re just a stupid boy who couldn’t possibly deny easy pleasure, and it’s her job to prove that assumption right.

It’s all so silly.

I’ve dealt with girls who tried to find faults that weren’t there and I had a real good laugh afterwards.

But while it is funny that a former acne-faced, overweight, emo guy would have to convince anyone he’s not about that life, I am very serious about guarding my integrity.

So if any girl accuses me of something like this, I know we need to part ways.

#15 Your gut tells you so.

What it means: You’re not comfortable with her.

Attraction is weird.

The first time anyone sees a person they like, comfort is nowhere to be found. There’s excitement, there’s anxiety, and there’s interest—not comfort.

But that all changes as time goes by.

The more you get to know someone, the more comfortable you feel around them.

The guy you thought was an antisocial creep just happens to be the life of the party. The girl you thought was such a snob before is actually kind and warm-hearted. And this new familiarity generally leads to more comfort.

But if time passes and you still don’t feel comfortable around this girl, it’s a bad sign. Your body is subconsciously telling you that something about her is off. And you know deep down that you can’t trust her.

“But didn’t you just make fun of girls and their ‘negative-energy-sense’? So how is it okay for guys to do the same thing?”

Because what I’m talking about here isn’t just a feeling. What I’m describing are physiological changes that happen solely because of this person.

Yes, it sounds far-fetched, but if you are fine around every person except her, something is wrong. And I’m not talking about a few butterflies in the stomach here.

If you start breaking a sweat when she shows up, if your sleep schedule suddenly changes, and if you’re always on your toes around her, your body is in alert mode. And instead of being able to work, or perfect your craft, or do anything else, you will constantly be thinking about her.

But again, don’t confuse this with some middle school crush obsession. This is about a girl who won’t give you any assurance that she is committed to you.

You will have to do everything to keep the relationship afloat, and that always leads to disaster. The minute you fall short in her eyes your worst fear will come true.

Of course you still want to be as attractive as possible to make her decision easy, but if the success of the relationship depends solely on you, find someone else.

Good leaders set an example for others and create a vision for the future…

They don’t do all the work.

Successful relationships will always take effort, but if you can’t relax at all with her, it’s a bad sign.

Weed ‘Em Out

So if you read this whole post, you’ve probably noticed a theme here.

All of these are signs that stem from a lack of one character trait:

Self-control.

This list is all about discerning if a girl has that one critical trait.

If she doesn’t have it, don’t try to change her, don’t make excuses for her, and please don’t waste time thinking about her. Just walk away.

And if you have a hard time doing that, ask yourself if you would help a man who acted the same way.

Sure, this may all seem cold-blooded, but when the stakes are this high, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. There is simply too much at risk when you choose a long term partner. And if you can’t trust someone you’ll eventually think about marrying, you need to end it as soon as possible.

No amount of beauty is worth the headache and embarrassment. If a woman’s actions show that she doesn’t respect you, move on and find a girl who does.

Just remember that nothing here is foolproof either. Some girls are crafty and they won’t show many of the signs listed here—but that’s okay.

The point isn’t to catch every girl who’s like this. The point is to save time by weeding out the easy ones. And once you do that, you’ll be closer to finding a girl who’s worth the investment.

So be smart, stay strong, and have a little fun too. It’s easy to get too serious about things like this, but keep a good attitude and you’ll be fine.

If you know what all to avoid, just imagine how much you can cherish a keeper.

-Drew

[blessuswithblogs]

Video Games are a God Damned Mess: Bad Business Practices, Unsustainability, and the Fidelity Plateau

(shoutouts to the anon rando in my inbox for telling me about the read more button you were kind of rude about it but i don’t use this website so i legit didn’t know)

The video game industry has always been a bit wild and wooly compared to its older contemporaries. The emergence of a new medium is always rife with upheaval as paradigms shift and people discover that the old rules don't necessarily apply all of the time. That said, the past three months have been filled with what I can really only describe as catastrophes for many disparate publishers and development studios.

 You may recall I talked a bit about this during my game of the year list and Fallout 76 analysis, but to recap: with Telltale shutting its doors and shafting its workers, the writing was on the wall for the same thing to happen again as the intrinsically unsustainable boom and bust cycle began the less glamorous stage. It turns out I was correct in my predictions but congratulating myself for seeing this coming is not unlike congratulating myself for accurately predicting that tomorrow will be Tuesday. Or. Whatever day it will be when I post this. fuck i dated the lp thread ruined LOOK the point is that this was really obviously going to happen and that nobody felt the need to prepare for it or try to stop it before 10% of Activision-Blizzard's workforce got canned is a major failure of the industry at large.

So let's talk a bit about what's happened since then. There's been a lot, so forgive me if I miss your favorite corporate implosion. First, at Blizzcon, Diablo Immortal was revealed to what actually might have been the most actively hostile reception of a game in history. This has less to do with the more financial aspects of the ongoing Videocon Crisis and more just kind of served as an ill omen and an example of Blizzard's worrying descent into... wherever it is they're going. If gross incompetence was a place, they would be descending into it. On paper, a Diablo mobile game is a money-printing proposition. When all is said and done Immortal will still probably make them gobs of cash. In practice, however, they fucked the landing so hard they probably lost potential sales. The kind of folks who go to Blizzcon and get omegahype for a new diablo game are not the kind of folks who play mobile games. Mobile games have a Stigma among the hardcore crowd, and also the Ethical Business Practices in Video Games crowd (which as of this writing appears to be me, Jim Sterling, and the Warframe devteam). For a lot of braindead gamerbros, mobile games are synonymous with things like Candy Crush and Peggle, which are perfectly fine games honestly but they're For Girls or some shit so mobile games are bad and for casuals. More pertinently, mobile games are also a ferocious jungle of microtransactions, pay2win mechanics, and generally shoddy design. Command and Conquer and Dungeon Keeper, beloved franchises that have been ripe for revisiting for years now, both found mobile games and they were both utterly terrible. These games make a great deal of their money by exploiting "whales", or in actual human being language, vulnerable people with disposable income and difficulties with impulse control or addictive personalities. Or kids who know their mom's creditcard number. Kids play video games. Now that we are no longer kids (theoretically, anyway) it can be easy to forget that. I'm not the pearl-clutching type, but I think that stigmatizing a genre of games that proudly touts an exploitative-of-children business model is probably okay.

So there are lots of reasons to be skeptical of Diablo Immortal right out of the gate, and quite frankly whoever thought that just pushing that out there with literally no other Diablo related news items (like any whispers of the long coveted hd remaster of diablo the second) was either transferred in from another company the day before or had some kind of unspeakable grudge against the scheduled presenters, to whom my heart goes out to. There is also some undeniable precedent that Blizzard-Activision will, in all likelihood, monetize the everloving daylights out of it. Both Hearthstone and Overwatch have more or less become nicely polished vehicles with which to deliver lootboxes to players for a nominal fee. If this hadn't been followed by a seemingly unceasing calvacade of disasters, the whole debacle would have been really funny to point and laugh at. It's still pretty funny to point and laugh at, but it also has some less amusing implications. Blizzard in particular has been up to a lot of no good lately. Let's talk a little bit about their recent one-two punch.

First up, we have the complete and sudden abandonment of competitive support for Heroes of the Storm. Heroes of the Storm was essentially Blizzard's seething regret and resentment for letting Valve snatch up the whole Defense of the Ancients thing put into code and unleashed upon an unwitting populace. It had actually been gaining some renewed interest over the past year or so due to the developers putting in some elbow grease and making the game both more accessible and just. More better. HotS has also had a modest but respectable eSports scene since the game's launch, with a variety of professional players, shoutcasters, tournament organizers and emergency bugfixers employed. Many of them were anxious about their jobs for months in advance with no word from the higher ups about who would still be employed by 2019. Sometimes, companies have to make difficult decisions and let people go to keep operating. Even my communist ass reluctantly accepts this as a reality of the system we live in. However, there is a protocol about this kind of thing. Giving notice. Giving, you know, severance pay. Stuff like that. And of course this presupposes that this sort of cut to the workforce is actually necessary in the first place. Given that AB subsequently reported record profits for the year of 2018, I have some doubts. Completely dropping support for a game out of the blue is a scummy thing to do to your playerbase. When it is also directly impacting the livelihood of hundreds of people in your employ, it goes beyond scummy and turns right into Unacceptable.

But "unacceptable" is Bobby Kotick's favorite word in the English language so while shoving hundred dollar bills from his latest corporate bonus up his butt he and his friends in the boardroom decided that the HotS esports people might get lonely, so they had better go and fire another 10% of the workforce too. Just because. Like literally just because. His company is doing fine - better than fine! They are at record levels of better than fine. But the shareholders demand more and more exponential growth, so to cut costs that really didn't need cutting, away goes 10%. Will game quality suffer because of this? Undoubtedly. More work being piled on fewer people who are also living in mortal fear of losing their jobs Just Because is not a recipe for success. People are mad about this, much like people were/are mad about Fallout 76 - players of games, industry wonks, and iconic voice actresses alike are no longer tolerating this kind of thing in Two Thousand and Nineteen, Common Era. Nor should they!

Elsewhere in the Game-o-sphere, similar developments are brewing. ArenaNet, the folks wot do Guildwars, went through another round of mass layoffs. EA's stocks have plummeted and Battlefield V "failed to meet expectations" because it only sold A Ton and not A Fuckin Shit Ton, and Anthem is not really lighting the world on fire. After Mass Effect Andromeda's... curious debut, Bioware has probably been feeling the heat and a lot of people are concerned that it too will suffer the ultimate fate of all studios acquired by Electronic Arts: joining Visceral Games in a broken heap at the bottom of the garbage chute. Bring back Dead Space you motherfuckers. Bethesda continues to, improbably, suffer through PR disaster after PR disaster with Fallout 76, a game that seemingly cannot stop fucking up. Ubisoft has received some positive attention for vowing to NOT lay off hundreds of employees for no discernible reason, which leads me to believe that our standards for praiseworthy behavior have dropped alarmingly low. Even 2K Games in all of its monolithic glory seems to be feeling a bit of a Stock Price Squeeze. Honestly by the time I get this done and posted it's entirely possible that somebody else will fuck something up. I'm still kind of waiting on the fallout from Randy Pitchford's porn thumbdrive, but I'm also a little bit pleased that Actual Money Crimes are getting more traction in the news cycle.

So, returning to the main point: the industry is in a bad situation of its own making. It's a scene that's almost always been defined by trend-chasing. For a while, that meant that we would just have to suffer through an endless glut of EXTREME SPORTS GAMES SPONSORED BY A DUDE or a barrage of samey console shooters desperately trying to be Halo every once in a while. Unfortunately, the trend-chasing now extends not only to the games themselves, but to the methods by which they are monetized. Ever since DLC became a mainstream thing, the brightest minds of the boardrooms have been working tirelessly to deduce which method of fleecing players will scientifically speaking get them the most money. Inevitably, when some enterprising little weasel develops a new and improved monetization scheme, the rest of the little weasels will immediately latch on to that scheme and that's how you end up with Battlefront 2's ridiculous lootbox grind and Shadow of War's ludicrous inclusion of randomized lootboxes in a singleplayer action-adventure game. While I'm certain that the platonic ideal of the lootbox has existed in some form or another for decades now, I think that we can squarely lay the blame for the Great Lootbox Plague of the Twenty-Tens at the feet of Valve.

Valve has been known for questionable business practices for a while now (albeit in a more lowkey way than We Fired 800 People So Bobby Kotick Could Buy a New Yacht), largely getting away with it because Steam has been more or less unchallenged as the premier digital distribution service for video games. This might be changing soon, as Epic Games is going straight for the jugular with a number of aggressive moves with its own fledgling platform, but historically, Valve has faced very few consequences for just kind of being petulantly antagonistic towards its userbase because said userbase is easily mollified by steam sales and Gaben memes. When people think lootboxes in 2019, they probably think of games like Overwatch or Battlefront 2 or basically any contemporary multiplayer game. I certainly do, but a bit of fact finding allowed me to remember that Valve has been doing this shit since Counterstrike and Team Fortress 2, and Dota 2's byzantine cosmetics market can't be overlooked either. All three of these games are or were at one point genre leaders and made Valve so much money they basically decided that they didn't really need to make games anymore. A reasonable conclusion to draw, given the fact all three of these games are inextricably linked to their history as very popular mods. Valve just outsources a great deal of its labor to dedicated, naive fans and gives them a pittance of the huge mounds of dollars they make from their hard work. It's a good racket, but it has set an alarmingly poor example to the rest of the gaming world.

Games as a service, in concept, is fine for games that lend themselves well to the idea. MMOs have been using a variation of the model for decades now and that genre is actually like, Perplexingly Healthy. Free to play games like League of Legends and Warframe have also had success with a service model. The problem comes from the AAA Game industry's pathological insistence on shoving square pegs into things that don't even have holes to begin with. Shadow of War, or Assassin's Creed, or any other major singleplayer offering, has no business whatsoever being a Live Service. They are finite experiences by design and that's completely fucking fine and normal. Appending microtransactions and lootboxes to them is a transparent attempt to just suck up a little bit more money from players in the most unsustainable way possible. Here is a small hint if some WB Games bigwig stumbles upon this: first of all, I'm building a guillotine, so you better watch your ass. Second, how dare you fucking make Shelob a sexy lady. Third, (this is the one that is probably most relevant): People are willing to pay as they go for cosmetics and timesavers for games that they like and want to support. I've dumped a lot of money into League over the years because there was a period of time where I was playing it nonstop and having a wonderful time for quite literally no cost to myself, so I felt like buying the cute Panda Annie Skin was a good compromise. Regrettably I would later learn that there are aspects of Riot Games I'm not super okay with giving money to but at the time they seemed agreeable and my friends who work there gotta get payed somehow. This whole dynamic of wanting to support a video game goes out the damn window when you are already charging a $60 entry fee, plus whatever highway robbery pricing you put on the inevitable DLC. In this case, the onus is squarely upon the publisher to provide an experience and content one would reasonably expect of the pricetag. Putting in microtransactions for cosmetics is galling. Putting in microtransactions for actual game progression, like in Battlefront 2 or Shadow of War, is outright insulting.

Many will leap to the defense of these publishers and developers, saying that these measures are necessary to make these ludicrously expensive and lavish AAA games that all look suspiciously like one another. For the time being, let's accept this as a true statement. If this is, in fact, the state of affairs in the industry, then the industry needs to change to a more sustainable business model. When playing Destiny 2, during a big space cutscene, the cute pilot lady ferrying me to The Large Molerat Man's Murderboat had beautifully rendered skin where you could see the pores and the little wispy cheek hairs that swayed to the momentum of the space plane's movements. It was very nice but then the next year or so I heard nothing but people pointing out "hey this game has no content you dipshits" or "the devteam is actually scamming people with the experience system to wring more playtime out of them". The cheek hairs affair succeeded in making me want the pilot to buy me dinner and regail me with stories of her space adventures as I batted my lashes at her in romantic admiration, but also: stop it. You do not need to do this. This is strictly unnecessary. The graphics arms race of yesteryear is over. Nobody cares anymore. Fidelity is plateauing harder and harder, to the point where games running properly on console without having to settle for 30FPS is becoming very difficult. There is an Earth B somewhere out there where Bloodborne was not a sony exclusive and got a PC release with 60FPS support and loading times for humans and on Earth B I am still playing that game for the forseeable future because it is the best game ever. We are far past the paradigm where we are making Tremendous Graphical Leaps with each successive generation. Right now, as of this writing, games look jawdroppingly good. Just ludicrously pretty and grandiose. Continuing to push the graphical envelope for Every Damn Annual Release is a waste of resources: monetary resources, labor resources, system resources. As of March, 2019, what people really want is stability and functionality. Something that runs nice and smooth at 60FPS and doesn't turn its characters randomly into nightmare inverse-Rayman beasts. I think the huge success of the Nintendo Switch, a console with relatively modest hardware but superb functionality, portability, and a surprisingly full featured library of both massive first party titles, like Breath of the Wild and Mario Odyssey (which honestly look better than a lot of games on more robust hardware because of wonderful art direction) and smaller indie games, is testament to this line of thinking.

Maybe that's too bold of a statement. Maybe there's this huge swath of the gaming public that is just clamoring for more cheek hairs. If there are I think they're fucking out of their minds but who am I to judge. As long as games like that werewolf game The Order exist, where the universal reaction is "this is so pretty!!! ...wait there's nothing in here." I think that there is a serious responsibility to push back against that because evidently it's bankrupting the game industry and forcing them to violate international gambling laws to stay afloat. Except it's fucking not, actually. Many publishers are claiming record profits, upward trends, and are in a spot to have the raw nerve to say "well this game that sold 7 million copies didn't sell 8 million copies so it failed to meet expectations". They are doing ludicrously well for themselves in terms of generating revenue from sales. Where these highly successful corporations are running into problems is satisfying the almighty Shareholders. Shareholders are sort of like. Imagine if you got a job where you had to keep a large committee of actual babies happy, except the babies don't know shit about fuck about anything and demand that you routinely break all reasonable laws of sustainability and keep bringing in exponentially higher profits or they will take their ball and go home. There is still, evidently, money enough to give newly hired executives million dollar signing bonuses, but when it comes to just making a game that doesn't fall back on exploiting people with gambling addictions, we're suddenly dealing with an outfit of noble, longsuffering churchmice just trying to make ends meet. People are rapidly getting fed up with this blatant hypocrisy and dishonesty. Sales from Hearthstone card packs alone could fund a robust HotS esports scene for eternity if properly apportioned. This money is not properly apportioned. It is thrown into a gigantic incinerator so Kotick can get high on the fumes.

You might be wondering what this girls' deal is with Blizzard. Surely there are more egregious offenders? Firstly, Blizzard is very relevant at the moment because they are one of the highest profile publishers to recently Do A Business Oopsie. Secondly, I live in Irvine, California. Blizzard HQ is a ten minute drive from where I live. It's a local company to me, and it's legitimately kind of hard to see it continue to go down this path because I've had friends and neighbors who have worked there and enthusiastically described the experience right up until the very moment they get canned for no reason. My alma mater, UC Irvine, is one of the leading schools in the nation on adopting eSports into their collegiate athlete program. I understand, to a lot of people, Electronic Sports (please support them) are a big joke silly thing, but to me and my family who work in the UC system, they're actually like a huge and pertinent part of professional life. I'm literally being consulted by my mom's co-workers for advice and insight on how to minimize the abusive and toxic behavior that has become synonymous with streaming and professional gaming because campus now has a huge eSports center with rows on rows of gaming computers for students to use. Games Are Big. They are a powerful cultural and economic force in the lives of millions of people and denying that because of "haha nerds" is the same shortsighted, utterly-lacking-in-self-awareness wanking that resulted in the stupendously destructive "its just the internet, it doesnt matter lol" attitude that has caused the world so much grief. That said Bart Simpson becoming an esports legend sponsored by Riot Games is still pretty lame don't @ me.

What it comes down to is this: the games industry has grown into a hugely influential and powerful institution that affects the lives of more and more people every day. However, the appropriate growth in regulation, oversight, and worker protection has not occurred and has honestly shrunk. People love to talk up Satoru Iwata because when the Wii U was floundering he took a massive pay cut and refused to lay off any staff, reasoning that "it will be very difficult for our teams to create software that will impress the world when they are constantly worrying about losing their jobs." It's a little incredible that The Baseline Reasonable Thing To Do has elicited such effusive praise, but that's the world we live in and Iwata-san was pretty alright so I'm okay with it. Both his conduct and reasoning are both solidly above reproach in this case: it is really hard to be creative when the Sword of Damocles is hanging over your head! That’s 500% true! This goes for game developers, community managers, eSports staff, support staff, literally every part of the process that matters, even the totally unrelated clerks and communications people who are still completely necessary for creating games. The only people who don't suffer are the dipshits on top who don't actually contribute to the creation of games in any way. They're still fine. Better than fine, really. That's why people are mad. That's why people SHOULD be mad. Don't stand for this anymore.

[kosmicdream]

Temp. FFAK Official Timeline

This is a very rough, temp timeline for FFAK. It mostly covers events that have already happened or at least have been mentioned. I dont really cover anything that is happening in the present day timeline lol. I might make edits to this in case i fucked up in places or maybe ill just do a totally new one at some point! you dont even know how messy my actual one is like my god its an ever worse horrible clusterfuck of text. (Also remember, the ffak story has no time travel so dont be worried about that sort of mindfuckery!) enjoy

Years before 1414: Whenever was 600 million years ago i dont want to do the exact math: Evil Mother is born but shes not called that at all cuz she adopts that name later in life but just know she is here and readt to party Lots of stuff happens. like idk. evolution and life. 600 mil years is a long time ok -LALALA -HUMANS AT SOME POINT COME TO BEING.and form civilization and.. all that -modern human society exist! ppl have tvs and such. -Mandragora Worms have gone ‘extinct’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooo -??????????? a ton of other stuff. isnt history cool?? kicks legs, yells -mysterious worm break outs all over dmtia. bombs fall. wars. despair!  -Grant Lumberman gets a doggy at some point and loves it but then it dies and so does his family and friends and his whole city he is relocated to the Auseklis moon colony (on Dmtia’s moon!) along w/ other Vena Cavian kiddos !!!! (in yr 1414)

YEAR 1415 [Scene From Ch. 11: Pages 3161-3196, 3400-3401] Characters: Randall Aiguille - Age 20 Mr. Rotten (Which was named “Aeschylus” at the time, created by Randall) Crosshatch Unit (sort of) Rembrandt Aiguille - Age 22 Grant Lumberman (Aka, ‘Good Leadman’) - Age 14 Octavian “Otto" Silverberg - Age 15 (I was gonna type up every referenced scene like this then i was like fuck it thats too hard! lol)

Years 1416-1425 ?????????????? (most events likely will be mostly covered in a prequel series.) YEAR 1420: Crosshatch Unit first programmed/built by Randall/Rembrandt Aiguille leadman and evil mother fall in lurv at some point

YEAR 1426 Miracle Baby Crimson is Born (From Good Leadman/Evil Mother worm fuck action yeehaw)

YEAR 1427 -Crimson’s 2 eyes are removed + Evil Mother Believes they are dead and leaves Leadman to work with Tricend -Canary is Born (From Evil Mother, and a King Worm) -Hekatons are made (From The King worm that made Canary, concept of Hekatons is from Evil Mother) -July 8th: Perkons Hatches and will not let anyone near the other 4 eggs!! stay away

YEAR 1428 - Good Leadman (Age 27) and Perkons (6 months old) Meet (Happens in Jan) (Multiple scenes in ch10, continued in Ch11) Perkons turns 1 in July. -Perkons gets a hold of 1 of Crimson’s eyes at some point, turns it into a Knife.

YEAR 1429 - Perkons turns 2 in july and is a fully matured adult. Rest of the 4 hekatons eggs hatch sometime after in that year. -Dievas assumes protective guardian role for his siblings.  -Dievas meets Aeschylus. (ch11) YEAR 1430 Perkons turns 3. The rest of the first hekatons are one. During this year they mature to an adult. YEAR 1431 Lauma meets Velns, who is imprisoned. Then shortly after, Perkons confronts Lauma, she is 2, he is 4. So It took place after July 1431. He transforms the 2nd crimson eye into a Spoon in front of her.

Years 1431-1448 (specific dates not all disclosed sry): -Velns/Lauma, Dievas/Laima begin making children. baby baby baby! YEAR 1438 - Crimson (Age 11) is eaten by a Hydragora Queen worm - loosing her human body in the process but gaining a worm one instead. -Crimson runs around in a destroyed city, holding a corpse. Meets Velns who taunts them. -Lauma and Dievas make up, and have their first nest together- a Batch of A/B hybrid eggs. -Lauma is killed by Perkons -Velns is killed by Perkons (Which was also on Dmtia’s Moon, so the moon is destroyed.) -Laima is “killed” by Perkons. (Actually survived, as part of Dievas’ plan.) -Perkons confronts Dievas with the Crosshatch Unit and mention they fight for Peace and under the “Thumb” alliance. Perkons kills Dievas. (scene in ch11) -Laima escapes with A/B Eggs, as well as other hekaton eggs. (and will later form the Ghost Kingdom, which she rules as queen.) ????? many other things happen????? these were some busy years folks

YEAR 1449 -Crimson meets a Helper, Galore the Hekaton, and a Bunny worm (who will later grow up to be agent Paper) in the forests of DMTIA (Ch9) -Galore “meets" her first parents, Lauma and Velns, in some mysterious coma dream thing from listening to crims sexy magical heartbeat (also Ch9) ??????????more events happen??????????? -Galore “Dies” by exploding. Crimson witnesses it. -Bunny wormed named Cirrus “Dies” and is buried in a grave. However, she was only injured she later climbs out only to witness Crimson and Celadon leave in Crimson’s truck and it was the saddest thing ive had to draw ok. i am crying even remembering it ??????????more secret events this was yet another busy and traumatizing year for crimson????????????? -Months later, Crimson (age 23) has a conversation with her third mandragora heart, and ends up having a period sex masterbate-y fantasy that made many readers scream in terror when they read it.(Ch11)

Years 1450-1904 god so much stuff happens during this time, lays on the ground. i mean just fucking look at how much time that is. thats over 450 years lol nbd right

YEAR 1905 -Agent Knife is sent on a remote mission (back to Planet Dmtia) to hunt down one of thumbs most wanted criminals, a man named “SIMON MCGOLD” -After months of searching/failed attempts at locating him, Knife confronts and is stung by Simon’s close personal bodyguard, a queen worm named Nail who is famous for killing over 50,000 Hekatons. (Gaining him the nickname “Hekaton Hunter.” (CH12) -?????????? more stuff happens like you dont even know????????

Years 1906-1924 ??????????? lots of stuff??????? lets laugh at some spoon stuff together tho -Spoon thinks Knife is stupid but weirdly interesting i guess -Spoon tries to pretend hes not in love w/ knife cuz thats like??? g...ay??? -Spoon realizes he’s totally hot for Knife and decides hes gonna totally seduce him -Spoon realizes flirting isnt going well with knife and is actually rly deeply hurt by rejection and so he tries to sleep around w/ other ppl  to pretend hes fine cuz w/e!! who cares -Spoon realizes hes totally in love w/ Knife and is devastated by Deeply Gay emotions -Spoon moves in w/ Knife and spoon tries to pretend he is fine w/ just being Knife’s obsessively devotedly loyal but not romantic/sexual partner. just ttly... platonic.. best dude pals..!!! who murder together -Spoon realizes he cannot handle just being friends and attempts to move out cuz he just is having a meltdown -Knifes like chill we’re already dating and Spoon is like “wtf we are?” and knife’s like “why else would i let you move in w/ me” and spoon just stares at a wall for like 12 hrs in shock -They start to officially for real date™ after spoon regains contact with reality -???????stuff??????? -Spoon dresses up as AGENT BEE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN ALL OF HISTORY HANDS DOWN MARK UR CALENDARS 

YEAR 1925 July 8th - Simon (now Agent Spoon) has been in a relationship with Knife for 20 years. He meets Celadon #1. Location is the forests on the moon THUMB HQ. who is rightfully pissed as fuck at him. kick his ass, girl (she does btw) (ch11)

YEAR 1926 -Knife Adopts a tiny perfect adorable fluffball c-type and names him Kurt. -Spoon hates it like more than anything ever -Spoon and Knife end up having to live separately, causing a huge strain in their relationship.

Years 1927-1936 -feeling neglected, Spoon starts to sleep around, including the Crosshatch unit and becomes p close friends w/ them! its actually a positive thing for once. wtf (ch11) -Kurt becomes Agent Fork and works alongside Agent Knife on missions and its adorable and great but knife’s depression is also growing bc he misses spoon

YEAR 1937 Cash Leadman is born! :D

YEAR 1938 Rome Aiguille is born! he doesnt even hate worms at this point! Years 1939-1955 more stuff. ect. 

YEAR 1956 -Locket confronts Knife. Knife is so traumatized from meeting a surprise biological child that he has a meltdown and vanishes. he is then believed to have died. -Spoon Explodes from sadness of the news, but does not die. Half of him leaves to Cash Leadman’s house, who convinces him to keep living. He becomes “Scissor”, using her former crosshatch robot body. (ch11) -The other half meets Locket and has his Spoon stolen from him. very sads. Also cant wear thongs anymore (ch11)

YEAR 1957 -At some point during this year, Spoon kills Agent Rock’s dad and also prevents Fork from being able to enter Wibbleworld (his dream). (Scene in ch8) -Fork goes back to prison (guess what, it wasnt his first time goin’ there!) 

YEAR 1958-present -the death of rock’s hot dad springs a chain reaction of all his sons trying to kill spoon and getting revenge. Spoon successfully kills them all though lmfao. dont fuck with the leg.  -fork breaks up with dollop and she starts stalking him

YEAR 1961 -Dylan and Agent Knife meet in Wibbleworld moon, on July 8th (his birthday) He reveals secrets to her. (ch11) -Dylan/Celadon and Antony believe they are successful at killing Agent Knife on this same day.

YEAR 1962 -Feb 2 - Aeschylus wakes up in LEVEL K of the Crosshatch Colony (The Aiguille Moon) and is escorted by Antony Aiguille (Age 21) and Celadon #1, #2 and #3. Dylan and Barfy show up. (Ch 11) -Dylan tries to convince Antony not to get eaten (and fails) (ch12) -March - A mysterious earthquake and worm outbreak kills 20,000 residents in the Crosshatch Colony. O_O  -July 7th - Fork meets Dylan for the first time. :3 (Another serving episode one!) -July 8th: This is where the present timeline begins! Canary wakes up on a platform. Hooray! we made it. i dont feel like typing out the events u can just read the comic i guess lol. farts! 

YEAR 1963: Hasnt actually happened yet, but the final feast is said to occur this year!!!!!!! O_O ooo  EDIT: one of the events were out of order, but this has been fixed (8/19/2017) 

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h blogging 5 because I’ve been posting on discord and I can’t remember what number I was on oct-feb???

So I'm doing another no recruit run and realizing how much planning I need Me: why do I do this to myself  Specifically its SS usuing none of the black eaglea So Byleths going to be soloing until I can recruit all the church staff... or flayn comes along... 

Lambert and the death knight have the same voice actor. Lambert=death knight. Mystery solved

Loog was only able to gain faerghus independence because the emoire was already weakened from its failed invasion of dagda

Also its part if the seiros canon that a great evil darkness came out of the north. That couldn't posaibly feed into racism

The greatest sin this game has commited was giving gilbert a redemption arc

if only the devs weren’t cowards...

Why does dorothea even have A supports with guys? Her head is filled with only girls. has she ever shown interest in a guy?? Beyond a I want to be financially secure and tolerate your presence. everyone else is bi/pan[ Except caspar Hes just an idiot 

I'm gonna post hot takes for the sexuality of each character and yall cant stop me

Edelgard: lesbian Hubert: Edelgard Ferdinand: pansexual Linhardt: grey spec pan but prefers men+ Caspar: too stupid to evaluate Bernadetta: "I want friends" Dorothea: big lesbian Petra: pansexual

Dimitri: confused and repressed Dedue: gay Felix: swords redheads Ashe: pansexual Sylvain: pansexual prefers women Mercedes: pansexual prefers women Annete: lesbian Ingrid: pansexual prefers men

Claude: Demi pansexual/romantic++ Lorenz: ~~noble obligations~~ pansexual and repressed Raphael: grey ace/aro+++ Ignatz: pansexual prefers women Lysithea: pansexual++++ Marianne: pansexual Hilda: pansexual but usually dates guys Leonie: grey ace

+Linhardt feels romantic/sexual attraction but not strongly. He feels romantic love but he doesn't get crushes. ++Claude is the type to fall in love slowly after an emotional connection has already been formed and then get a crush after they've been going steady for 10 years. +++Raphael feels romantic/sexual attraction but not strongly and usually prefers queer platonic relationships ++++more to do with the individual than gender, but girls are cute

Game crashed and I lost like 4 hours of progress TT^TT

I'm on SS (which is the only route I haven't played) and hnnnnng I miss claude its been like 3 months since I played VW. Also I need to write down a time line some time but the stuff the agarthans have been pulling feeds the world builder in me. especially hyrm

as nice as the idea of all the lords getting along and talking things out is, it wouldn’t work out in canon, Edelgard has tunnel vision. Dimitri is irrational and would rather listen to his hallucinations that evidence. And no one trust Claude enough to believe him

Hilarious really how Edelgard will call for Hubert to carry you despite her massive strength and how hubert looks like a gentle wind will blow him over

Macuil/Indech:  Shun society. Run off into the wilds. Have vaugue legends be told of you. Be a crpytid

linhardt is such an unrepentant bastard

I had a dream where I could make male units pegasus knights. And then I woke up to cruel reality

Alois is growing on me. At first I was like uuuggg another bumbling idiot. But you know what? Fuck Seteth for not giving Alois more vacation time to see his family

Cavalry units be like: crushes a watermelon with their thighs

Some of the knights were bullying Alois. Who was it. I will bring them untold pain.

Reason #??? to punch Gilbert: he saw this poor child struggling to control his strength and went this boy doesn't need to learn how to control his strength, what he needs is more strength training.  I mean absent emotionally distant and all over shitty father to annette is reason number 1. But dimitri is reason number 2.  Oh let's make this kid lift rocks and run around the moutains at night in full armor in winter. Instead of being able to pick something up without breaking it and you know be able to perform basic daily tasks.  Let's make a human shaped weapon instead of a functional person.  Gilbert single handedly ruined AM for me because he just wouldn't stop messing up everyone else's lives

Each character's recruit requirements are what they admire/respect in a person

I forgot hubert becomes unavailable in month 2. and now I'm stuck with his stupis razor

Hot take. BotW Link and part 2 Ingrid have the same haircut

I'm on my last route (SS) but i hate rhea so much...

why do you think maurice/the beast's crest was used to make aymr?

Also all the nameless backgound characters have brown hair but of the main cast, its only dorothea and claude

Annette’s handwriting: Neat and cute.  Linhardt writes in cursive because he cant be bothered to lift his pen Sylvain has nice handwriting. Ingrid's is very functional, felix's is half way to chicken scratch lots of sharp angles. Dimitri cries on the inside at the thought of picking up a pen. as a kid Dimitri has terrible handwriting and breaks a pen every 5 min. He practiced so hard. Most of what people think is his handwriting is Dedue's (neat and pretty) because dedue writes most of his letters for him

me playing azure moon: I want out. get me off this death train

Finally getting alois's support and wow he's like a human shaped puppy in the sahpe of a middle aged man.  Always falling over himself. Ridiculously happy. 100% all the time. Running and barking everywhere

Fact of the day: dorothea hates eating fish

Alright. Seteth and Flayn's descriptions of her mom are very different.  Where is the truth???  Seteth was like shes demure, quiet, pious, and honest. And Flayn's says she's like Judith

game is forcing me to flirt with Alois? Can I not please!

I keep saying it but Lorenz grows on you like a fungus. He has excellent supports

 i want to weave gold thread into claudes hair

Under rated character development: Dorothea. Every one of her lines in part 2 makes me want to cry.  "every rose has its thorns" -> "only thorns left on this rose" Her character development is that she just gets worn down by the war and I want to bundle her up in a blanket and give her a cup of warm milk.  Dorothea is so full of love. So she feels the sorrows of the war so intensely.

FE3H needs better dads. I mean even jeralt and seteth aren’t great dads. They're just not down right horrible.  Jeralt is emotionally distant with an alcohol problem that byleth had to clean up after him. But there are worse dads Alois seems decent but he needs to spend more time at home. Seteth should have given Alois more vacation time.  They aren't terrible dads. But they aren't getting medals either.  Love their kids but have flaws of their own.

ANNETTE DESERVED BETTER THAN GILBERT Burn him at the stake No wait. He’d want that

My loathing for gilbert is beyond description.  He hurts everyone around him, then doesn't listen to what they have to say, and then keeps continuing his existence as a sad sack of shit.  1. Emotionally distant, strict, and often absent father. Clearly cared about his work for than family.  2. He then straight up leaves with out a note or telling his family anything.  3 knows that annette is looking for him and avoids her.  4. Annette just wants her dad back. That's what would make her happy but he denies her that because he's a selfish bastard.  5. Then he goes on and on about his man-pain while not helping anyone. he self flagellates and blames himself a lot but he never tries to change and so he stays there, is this cycle of self pity.  "Ohhh I have sinned and can not be forgiven" .and I'm like why not do right by the people you hurt? And he's like "no no I have sinned. I cannot see them" or some other bullshit.  He also gets some bullshit redemption arc that I want to scrub clean from my memory because he doesn't deserve it.  Annette's support is all about oh i forgive you. And it puts all the emotional labor on annette and just makes me real angry. And i am going to stop thinking about that disgrace of a human now.

Seteth is controlling. Wont let flayn have friends. Boys arent qllowed to talk to her.  She can't go out. He has to know where she is 24/7. Seteth really is suffocating Flayn. Early in the game Flayn compares herself to a hot house flower, confined to a green house, doomed to die outside it. It bring up the question which is better, to live a long life in constant fear and isolation (remember flayn is very much a people person), or to live a short fulfilling life. The answer of course is that it should be flayns choice. But Seteth denies her autonomy. Flayn is not quite an adult, but even discounting the decades* that she has lived, even a teenager should have some say in the direction of their life. Time and time again Flayn expresses her will and Seteth ignores her. She is allowed little existence outside of him.  Its also hilarious how bad their cover story is.  Its true they love each other but Seteth causes Flayn a fair bit of suffering. Its played for comedy sometimes. And Flayn to some degree tolerates it because she understands that he does it for her sake, and she understands the real danger she is in. They just disagree with what is an acceptable degree of risk. Seteth tolerates no risk which at that point can't be called living. Flayn accepts the danger and believes it is worthwhile to enjoy life and help people despite it. the counselor box also reveals that seteth has been stalking her and think her talking to dudes is bad despite that having nothing to do with the danger of the agarthans.

A fun thing to think about is if Flayn was born of 2 nabeteans, she's a human halfie, or someother sothis bullshit.  I reviewed the sea nd sky paralogue recently looking for answers and there were some hints? Maybe? nothing definative. all we know for sure is that flayn’s mom died in the nemesis war.  Also I have a hypothesis that flayn was in a regenerative coma for most of the 1000 years so she's been active less than 200 years which is why Seteth treats here like a waylaid toddler.

the flayn seteth c support is great Seteth.exe crashes and then reboots right in front of our very eyes

Catherine has such big wlw energy. I didn't quite realize it until I got her supports but hooboy.  Saw a lady so pretty she forgot she almost died pfft.  And this is just with rhea.  The catherine-shamir supports themselves are gold.

Catherine: ever see a woman so beautiful you forget you almost died and decide to devote your whole life to her?

Catherine->Shamir: i get worried when you go out on missions on your own. I'm not there to protect you. I'm scared of you leaving me behind. I never want to leave you side. Between my life and your life i'd choose your life me: ! Shamir: i don't know what the future holds, but let's get married me: !!!!!!!!!!!!

Also catherine/christoph was a thing in the past. Highschool sweethearts. Before she executed him for treason

Ahahahhha this is great! And by great I mean hilarious. Dimitri dies even more offscreen in SS than in VW.  Ghost dimitri in ss made me laugh but  do we ever get an explanation for ghost dimitri or it like the cf finale? Themetically significant. Sure lets go with that

I'm really starting to see where the parts of vw and ss were smushes together

Embarr has the best night life

Recruiting sylvain into the gd feels mean. I'm taking away the only one with 2 braincells to rub together

Under all the noble bullshit, Lorenz really is a great guy

Do you think every demonic beast looks unique and its only that the devs didnt want to make more models that they dobt look different in game?

Recruiting sylvain into the gd feels mean. I'm taking away the only one with 2 braincells to rub together in the blue lions

Sylvain is warm

I wish we got to explore derdriu

PETRA DESERVES BETTER WRITERS. and give her a fluffy coat. She's gotta be cold in garreg mach

Count Varley is at the top of the hit list

Add alois onto team i'm scared of ghosts (lysithea, ashe, annette)[5:44 PM] That's it. I'm kidnapping alois from the church's clutches and taking him home. The church doesn't deserve him. And he hates his job

W h y  i s  everyone from faergus so eager to give up their personhood

Does faerghus seem really backwater to anyone else? Faergus reminds me of like 900's europe while leicester and adrestia are more like 1600's europe.  they still have that germanic warrior culture thing going. This is deep in the dark ages. I will accept the later half of the dark ages though since its post introduction of christianity. Leicester and Adrestia feel more like 1600-1700s They feel not quite french revolution, but getting there.  Yeah like the old institutions (crown and church) are still there but the cracks are showing.  Also the clothes

I thinki talked about this before. But when I say dorothea deserves the world. DOROThEA DESERVES THE WORLD. she’s been through so much

I need to go compare this with the verdant wind scene, but I was under the impression that sothis was in a regenerative coma after the war with the agarthans. But nope according to ss she was straigt up dead huh

i know I'm suppose to be fighting but I spent the last 30min exploring shambhala again

Damn it Shamir! Why'd ya have ta crit. I was trying to get dialog!January 2, 2020

gatekeeper > you < gatekeeper's identical twin brother who's on the opposite side of the war Its a sandwich

Oh wow the church really was up to some bloodborne level stuff

I turned every single one of the black eagles into a brigand (except linhardt and hubert).  Brigand gang brigand gang

The devs knew Claude and Lindhardt would just be too powerful. They had to be separated. thats why they dont have a support chain.  Sylvain and Claude has more energy but Sylvain has the conscious that Lindhardt lacks.  I mean Lindhardt singlehandedly lock picks  the holy tomb and disables rhea's magic mechs all while complaining he's sleepy.  Sylvain can be bullied into doing things and I love him for it.  Ah. I want both support chains

After Jeralts death both Claude and Edelgard both tell you that the world will continue spinning regardless of what befalls you personally but they do so in rather different ways. Edelgard phrases it like pull yourself together or the world will leave you behind. Claude phrases it like personal tragedies are such a small thing in the face of the world. You may have suffered a loss but there is so much to the world beyond that. There are still worthwhile things in the world. Both of say the world doesnt stop for you but mean different things.  And both are trying to motivate you to pull yourself together.  Whereas dimitri is like: you want vengence? You should go for vengence. I'll help you rip them apart. I'll kill for you.

Edelgard is socially awkward and blunt. She's also very practical minded so she doesn't know how to won't say something comforting when she can say something useful.  She's trying in her own way  To motivate byleth to start picking up their life.  Edelgard doesn't get people. Social interaction is a total mystery to her. She's just too stubborn to realize it.  At a couple points you can tease her and she thinks you're threatening her. She's not good at the people thing.  While she can come off a little rough because she doesn't understand how other people work. Hubert understands other people rather well and is an asshole anyways. List of characters who have threatened byleth: dimitri, hubert, sylvain, jeritza, catherine

Was sothis one of the divine dragon tribe? a lot of the other divine dragons had green hair especially the ones worshiped as gods (duma, mila, naga, tiki). But not fae or nowi.  I always got that dragon stones were like a dragon's essence sealed away so that while in human form they could stave off dragon degeneration. But what are crest stones. Were they made by the agarthans (artificial dragon stones) or are crest stones a natural part  of the nabeteans and the agarthans just harvested them. Or... ARE THERE BOTH. But the pov characters cant tell the difference.  This one group has messed with how many nations now?? SS has an interesting tidbit that's  been stuck in my head:  In the final map of SS its revealed that all high ranking church officials recieve Seiros' blood and a crest stone shard. WHERE ARE THE SHARDS COMING FROM. DAMN YOU SETETH YOU CANT JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT AND LEAVE ME. because if they are seiros crest stone shards that neans crest stones are not an Agarthan invention. But that condridicts VW where rhea says creststones are made of nabateab hearts. tldr: I'm confused. where are those fragments coming from??? Wait. This is all assuming a nabetean needs their heart inside them to live. Given how violently rhea reacts to losing even 1 crest stone I don't think she used the ones of her brethern. Which logically leaves only one weird possible answer. That rhea took her own heart/crest stone and has been giving out fragments. I mean she probably retrives the fragments when the priest dies.... this also means that nabeteans can survive with their heart outside their body... like a litch.... which I mean given sothis isn't too suprising? ??

VW and SS have such wacky endings. Let's go fight the cyberpunk mole people now!. Zombie invasion?  : check Weird bloodborne stuff and then we fight rhea?: check

Yeah VW was my first route and whew that was a wild ride. AM is so tame is comparison. but SS and VW lack the setup to pull out twists like that.  If this was like Nier: Automata where you get endings sequentially, it might have worked. But on their own the last 2 maps don't have anything at stake

hmmm  switching the final battles of verdant wind and silver snow? What would make a better story and why?  rhea kinda works because SS is all about rhea and saving her from herself as well as a revival of the church. But Nemesis also brings closure to Rhea's arc. She's been stuck for the last 1000 years to to fight the man who killed her most important person for good is like also really good thematically. VW is all about something new. Doing away with old structures and what better than to kill the pope? But facing the 10 elites also works for VW because that's the begining of the crest/nobility system you are literally killing.  I just like recruiting everyone and then killing the 10 elites with their own weapons wielded by their descendants.  its symbolic

Byleth is an excellent brigard. Went beigand and then wyvrn and their strength was higher than dimitri's

Claude: Rule? Nah. Gonna go be a scholar in an isolated mountain range. Books

Sylvain is a himbo wannabe

I should recruit annette and let her kill gilbert...  The one thing I'm worried about is that it'll hurt her more than it'll hurt him ... can I get crusher in crimson flower? If I were to recruit everyone and then get them all killed, what route would that be best in? Guess I'll be doing a death pact AM run some time in the future

Also koei tecmo and intsys are cowards for gender locking classes.  From a gameplay perspecrive too some characters are locked out of their ideal classes (war master for catherine and gremory for lindhardt). And then there's the in lore significance. Let hubert ride a pegasus.

Dorothea spent the entirety of their paralogue hitting on Ingrid. And then the RING at the end??? and they can’t support. Also Ingrid should have gotten an A support with Mercedes. They get along so well

Edelgard got the best designs in the game but Dorothea got the next best

Its canon. Edelgard thinks Claude grew up to be hot. Edelgard acknowledging that Claude is hot but but that she’s going to kill him anyways is just so good ....aaaaand one again I'm a coward who couldn't bring themself to kill Claude. But the completionist in me really wants to. The scene after sparing cluade between him and edelgard has kept me up too many nights.  What are the emotions here? My first guess was loss, grief. Someone else has interpreted it as aggtession though. And maybe we are both over thinking this but to me Claude's lines here say "I have failed"

Dorothea deserves a dragon

Caspar is actually real good for bernadetta. Its like talking to a sack of potatoes and doing so forces her to communicate better, firmly express herself, etc. Caspar has such great supports with all the ladies really

I really am just linhardt. I too disregard authority and despise being woken up...

I feel like we should all appreciate dorothea more. Death to the haters

ingrid equipping the duscar cavalry battalion is like  "I can exploit their labor so it’s alright"

I found felix was my solace in AM just because everyone else goes full death cult. despite how much i wanted to punch him when he told ingrid to go get a husband.  Also I should note I'm not sure felix whole heartesly believed what he said to Ingrid. I got the impression he said the thing he knew would upset her the most.  Not necessarily what he believed. That said he may actually believe it too.  Ingrid and felix remind be of squabbling siblings just saya the worst stuff to each other.  Unless felix has actively confronted the notion of faerhgus patriarchy he probably has internalized some of the beliefs. We all do. Thats why theyre so hard to dig out

Since we talk a lot about dads. Let's talk margrave edmund. tldr: complicated and interesting relationship with marianne.  What we know: he adopted marianne some time after her parents died, before she enrolles into the officers academy. Marianne says he's usuing her as marriage bait to marry up and increase the standing of house edmund.  This tracks with what others say about edmund: he's politically ambitious. And he's good at it enough to have gotten house edmund a seat at the round table.  In pretty much all her endings, he tutors mariannne until she's a political savant.  He forbid her from leaving the monestary in part 1.  Now let's go in between the lines. In part 1 marianne seems nervous of margrave edmund, but she also seems nervous of everything is part 1. In part 2, along with being more comfortable with herself she seems more familiar with him.  After the end of part 1 she likely returned to house edmund despite the attack being the perfect cover to disappear.  We don't get get much on edmund's personality buy he comes across as ruthlessly practical. The sort that goes "I can and will use everything to get what I want".  He likely adopted marianne not out of charity or compassion but so the house could have a crested heir and so he could use her as a bargining chip to other houses. But he sees enough potential in her to train her to be the next head of house. I think what started out as "ah another piece i can use" transitioned into a more friendly relationship as marianne began to assert herself and margrave edmund came to acknowledge her as more than how she could benefit him. I don't think he ever got over the "how can i use this" mentality but I'd like to think that after some years they came to get along. Ah yes I meant to do a hyrm thing and put it off for months. The Agarthans had long been infiltrating the empire and slowly increasing their influence on the government. In an attempt to stop this emperor ionius ix attempted to gain more power for himself to counter them by centralizing the government and taking power away from the nobles. House Hyrm attempted to defect to the leicester alliance with the help of house ordelia. In retaliation the Agarthans under the guise of the empire killed the members of house hrym and took control of hrym and ordelia. Also in response to ionius' move, the top ministers of the empire backed by the Agarthans began the insurrection of the seven where all political power was taken from the emperor. The Agarthans than experimented on ordelia and the royal family to implant crests while usuing hrym as a base of operations. After Emile killed that scrumbag baron bartels as well as the rest of the bartels family. Edelgard thought he could be useful as a piece not already controled by the Agarthans, and with their helped fabricated him a new identity as jeritza von hrym since hrym was a puppet for the Agarthans. Lord Arundel (Thales) then ensured jeritza a spot at garreg mach so he could act as an inside agent.

Anyone know the significance of rhea's mech's names (wilhelm, iris, etc.). past friends?  lol would it be messed up or what if its powered by his corpse 

Jeritza really is an acquired taste... wow

... I wonder sometimes if I like making things hard for myself... like I'll make rules like 4+ units have to attack an enemy before I kill them... or certain units can't be next to each other or just other abitrary rules. Anyways I'm just complaining because I did all this on the final map while under leveled last night (?) and am now just going "...why" at myself

Also, I wish we got the option of keep class headgear.  Some of it looks really cool and some of the classes (bishop??) look incomplete with out it.  Let me have my little hats!  Like mortal savant gets an oni mask which looks rad. And warlocks get flowery witch hats! Just finished crimson flowers again with warlock and then gremory dorothea and was like hmmmm.... she needs flowers in her hair

Also if you look up dimitri's dancer skirt you'll see he's wearing black short shorts

Team heretic: edelgard, hubert, petra, claude, leonie, linhardt in the closet: lorenz

So for those of you that keep up with my rambling... remember how i said the funal cf cutscene makes no sense? Did sothis self terminate? If she dud than why arent there records of other crest stones disintigrating? Or is it a sothis specific thing? Its possible sothis’s consciousness is stored in her creststone/heart but then how can you still s support her in CF? i've been trying to logic and reason this for several months and i cant get it to all fit. But on a symbolic level its like the coming of a new age, sothis' hold on the world (and her influence on byleth) disappears. Live on without dieties (literally in byleth's case). The new age of humanity and all so byleth becomes a normal human, no god powers yada yada. I think claude is the only one that knows byleth has no heartbeat?? (Maybe? I cant remember) since claude reads jeralt's diary. Thematic significance > narrative consistency. There's also that rhea goes beserk in SS and not VW, when the same stuff happens to her in both. Which doesn't add up for me. And Nemesis ...is he still sitting there in the other routes... Where did he get an army anyways? I assumed the agarthans just had a whole army frozen...But then why didn't they use it earlier? And can you imagine just a whole city of cryo pods underground. Just there.

Anyways I'm off to kill all the blue luons and solo with dimitri on maddening!  Can I get gilbert killed in AM or is he too plot important. I've been playing on casual like a coward so far

Ah ashen wolves shadow cinders looks edgy. I wonder why they have 4 kids in a dungeon. Theres that npc that talk about hiw garreg mach needs the abyss to survive. I wonder why they keep this system

I dont keep up with english VAs but it'd be funny if yuri was voiced by yuri lowenthal

anyone with a crest has less of a chance of  demonic beasting than someone with no crest in lore. In gameplay you can use any crest weapon as long as you have any crest. You just wont get the added benefits of that specific crest

Yuri is very pretty and I’m weak for beautiful long haired men.  But i kinda wish the nintendo would let us have BEEF

If only i could have 300 save files...

Yuri really just is Leon with amnesia. Down to the red eyeliner...

Who let balthus into a highschool

I have that insistent desire to punch the writers for putting dorothea and mercedes through all that

Manuela. Has. So. Much. Love!  And her line about how [as teachers] we cant lose the students to violence or cowardice

The head of felix plopped onto a generic brawler body will always be funny to me

Yeah... sylvain really treats you different when male.  There was a reason were many reasons I really wanted to punch sylvain when I first started playing. namely the misogyny

male Byleth just looks really good as a swordsmaster

From a gameplay perspective I think divine pulse should have been removed for maddening.  From a story perspective they did a pretty good job integrating time mechanics as god powers

I wonder if Jeralt reminded Rhea of Wilhelm

i love giving bad advice for the advice box

why is tea time is the hardest part of the game

Seriously. How does garreg mach even work? Fail school and you get sent to the dungeons for life. What.

Sylvain would totally be one of those dudes with too much money dolling out patronages

Let hilda be warmaster

Hmmm edelgard... fatalism....

Please mod gilbert out of the game Lorenz has got a good heart. But the words that come out of his mouth sometimes...

Oh yeah you know that rainbow flash dream sequence right at the begining of the game? Is it me or did I see skyscrapers in it

The inside of byleth's head is a smash tournament

Seteth can die and I'll kill him.  (Ok ok I don't actually hate the guy. But I don't like him either. He's the type I'd tolerate working with but want nothing to do with outside of the professional setting)

Caspar and linhardt really are THAT comedy duo. I need a whole book dedicated to their paired endings

Sylvain's dick is still the funniest joke on the internet

The weirdest part of part 2 felix's hair isn't even the aggresive side sweep. That can be explained by having stiff straight hair. Its the limp pony tail. If your hair is that stiff, any ponytail that length is going to stick straight out like as anime character. I have this hair type. I've succeded in replicating the side sweep, the ponytail doesnt work

give mercedes a gun cowards

Marianne with a cute bob. Marianne with short hair. very home of phobe of intsys not to make marianne like an actual werewolf or something

devs should have let Bernie learn how to beat her dad to death with her bare fists

I've returned home to my boy. I love Claude!

Mortal savant ignatz. I mean strength in swords and budding talent in reason. Youre going to ba a magic samurai ignatz!

I had forgotten how much gd plays like a mystery game. Also, whatever I said earlier I take it back. Lysithea has a crush on Leonie

I keep trying to imagine an adrestia that isn't tropical (because why else would they wear heavy coats), and failing...

I really love raphael. He's so good

Claude's this interesting mix of cynical and idealistic yeah. He has a number of strong ideals and believes in the potential of humanity to do good, to grow and learn, to come together and built. But he also struggles because at the same time he also believes humans will usually choose the easier path of ignorance and hate. People are cruel and don't care.[5:30 AM]He's really cynical about what people are actually going to do

Sylvain's just layer upon layer of unhealthy coping mechanism

I don’t really like the ingrid/claude ship. ingrid tends to fixate on one shallow quality in a person and then ship them shit about it. and that’s the support. and the writers don’t have her ever acknowledging the rest of the character’s personality or admitting her first impression might have been incorrect.  that especially doesn't pair well with Claude who hides so much of himself. Out of all the characters Claude can A support Ingrid's the only one I where I went "whyyyyyyy"[10:02 AM]It really felt like the typical C-B support. Of i cant stand you because of 1, 2, and 3. To hey maybe you aren't so bad

i can't help but think the empire and alliance are incredibly stupid for making lorenz a cavalier. He's terrible at it.

Hold the phone. Was jeralt a soldier in the leicester independwnce war? (On thw faerhgus side).  But thats 300 years ago. All we know is that hexs older than 100.  The almyra unvasion is another option. Its also possible that jeraly wasnt involved in any war

So I'm trying to get rhea killed on the last chapter of part 1 for GD and wow its really hard to lose the fight this way. Enemies will avoid her like the plague. I cant believe I'm struggling to lose a fight Rhea is unkillable. I have taken no actions for 15 turns are she is still not dead Starting to think its impossible to lose by rhea death in this battle Turn 31. Its only raphael and hilda left Yeah as long as you have 1 unit to keep enemy infanty out of the pink squares this map is inpossible to lose on hard mode  60 turns. All of Rhea’s spell and weapon uses are gone and she still wont die. I give up

I've been thinking of hilda dimitri hypothetical supports recently and i think they"d be halfway between her lorenz+ferdinand supports and her marianne supports.[1:48 AM]Hilda is the QUEEN of suckering people and dimitri is the biggest sucker in the game[1:51 AM]But like marianne's clumsiness, dimitri can't do basic tasks well so hilda hoisting her chores on him is sure to backfire hilariously. He also has that kicked puppy pitifulness that part 1 marianne has so hilda will end up feeling  sorry watching him struggle and help out[1:52 AM]But these 2 are both deeply compassionate so they could actually get along.  You know... i can see ferdinand and claude hating each other's guts. But there's such potential for personal growth...

Why is it that the agarthans have the most named npcs out of any factionJump

If gilbert is what it means to be an "exceptional knight". Then i dont want it. I dont want knights and i especially dont want execptional knights

I like playing on hard because i never have to worry about winning a fight only about how many style points I can rack up.

Why does fodland new year start on month 3.  Look i get that the japanese adopted the chinese calendar system of new year in early spring before adopting the gregorian calendar so "new years" events ended up split between month 1 (new years celebration) and month 3/4 (start of school). But that makes no sense for fodlan. In universe it doesnxt make sense. Why not have month 1 start in spring or have the new year in winter. Ok let's be real. The real reason its like this is that due to globalization and post ww2 american influence not to mention european colonialism, the gregorian calander is the one the world runs on. So its for us players benefit that month 1 is in winter and month 6 is summer. But in universe it doesn't make sense! Not unless you start making really convoluted excusrs[4:00 AM](Sorry southern hemisphere   No representation for you today) This only works for chinese new years because its 2 different calender systems being used at the same time. Which doesn't make sense in fodlan because why would rhea allow a new calander system in given her isolationist policy. Or if its a remnant of an old calender system, there's no way it lasted 1000 years

If jeralt hadn't been killed by kronya, he would have been consumed by the hivemind in SS and you would have been forced to kill him

The devs really went out of their way to give jeritza a unique class huh. He's a dark knight+swords. You can say it. He's just a dark knight. Yet they really went and slapped death knight on him[2:49 PM]Also as a pc his crit rate in underwelming

The s suport cgs are more stylized and its a little jarring

Is it only me than. Who get ways too many support points thant hey know what to do with.

We need a cats remake but its called rats and is dimitri in every role

I want a lysithea hilda a support[5:48 PM]Hilda's the only ine lysithea likes from the start[5:48 PM]They have mutual respect for each other[5:48 PM](Also side note. Wow lysithea is mean to ignatz. Poor baby)

Reminder that its Marianne who title drops vw

Did I miss something? Felix becoming the top advisor for all of fodlan seems like a bad idea. The only thing that comes close to showing he's competant is his ingrid support where it shows he's decent at tactics. Reason number 76 for why I'm worried for fodlan post AM. Along with ... ya know .. the Agarthans still running around.

One part of vw i didn't like was when the merchants went woohoo no regulations and free trade yay!Jump

I'll be honest. 7 year old me would have swindled dimitri out of his good halloween candy

[jennawynn]

Critical Hit Ch. 4-7

We’re back!

We’ve spent like 3 chapters learning about how Lacey doesn’t like drama and how her ex, Jenny, was a drama queen... but now when she says she prefers sci-fi to fantasy, she says it as “she preferred more real-person drama than made up worlds”... as if sci-fi didn’t have made up worlds.

Lucy Lawless is immune to aging and does look fabulous in everything. I never did Battlestar Galactica though. 

Ok, is ‘sparks at touching’ a real thing? Cause I don’t think it’s a real thing. Unless you’re talking about static electricity. But sparks every damn time you touch is a bit excessive, isn’t it? I mean... am I missing something? 

I don’t get flirting for fun either. Seems like a good way for someone to get their hopes up and be hurt when they find out it wasn’t serious. Maybe that’s just my anxious ass projecting though. I like everyone to know exactly where they stand so there is no miscommunication. 

Lacey’s loaded, huh? Aww and she gave Barkley a bath so he’d be clean to hang out with the dad with cancer. 

Ooh lipstick. That makes thinking about kissing her feel adult... ok. I mean, I haven’t kissed any girls who were wearing lipstick either, but I can’t imagine it would make me feel more adult. Also ew, who wears Dr. Pepper flavored chapstick?

Let me just check out my friend’s ass. Purely platonically, of course.

Kris is already diving head-first into thinking about making tofu a regular meal item because Lacey is a vegetarian.

Oh and here comes the reveal about Kris’s job.... she’s an artist for WotC. (Do they have staff artists? It isn’t just freelancers? Also just because art is done on a computer doesn’t mean it’s “manipulation”... art can be drawn and painted on a computer just like on paper.)

An interesting tidbit about the illustrations in the 5e book- they actually made a concerted effort to make more of them badass women that weren’t wearing boobplate and skimpy bikini mail. Kris makes a jab here about “unlike her counterparts, she’d skipped making enormous breasts and ridiculous armor” which could be a valid complaint about most art, but probably not so much the 5e books, if that’s what she’s referring to. There’s what looks like a Drow Wizard in the Elf section, but other than that, I don’t see a 5e illustration of an Elf Sorceress in the PHB so maybe it’s not 5e? Ok, over-analysis complete, moving on!

Looking at art makes people want to kiss. Huh. ok. allos are weird. lol

Peter shows up. Lacey’s been texting. there’s the jealousy... “But she’s a lesbian. James said so.” I mean TECHNICALLY what James said is that she was “more sapphic than he usually dates” not a lesbian, though James called her a lesbian at least twice to her face before she corrected him, but yay! love triangles. always love those (this is sarcasm)... though having a love triangle with a girl between a guy and a girl is at least *different* from two girls fighting for the same guy. 

“Hey DM who is totally “not” crushing on a player, what’s your policy of players dating players?” “You should know Lacey’s a lesbian.” “You wish. She’s bisexual.” and then arguing over whether she’s a lesbian or not. 

“Well that makes staying friends easier. Kris had dated enough bisexuals to know that, at least for her, she wanted someone planted wholly on the lesbian side. Between her father’s sickness and being behind on work, dating had already been off the table. Dating someone who might be waffling between orientations was out the door. Down the street. On another planet.” Well that makes labelling Kris biphobic much easier too. I certainly hope this is fixed by her not being a biphobic jerk anymore instead of Lacey deciding she’s a Real Lesbian(tm). 

Lacey’s character also has a toxic ex that used her and destroyed her and left her wanting to grow into herself... totally not at all like Lacey herself >.>

It is kinda funny that the ex’s name is Lodestar and Peter keeps calling her a “he” even though Lacey is saying “she”. Straight dudes. /eyeroll

Ok, so Peter is clearly just there for the dramatic tension. He’s just injecting himself into a situation where the girls would already be together if he hadn’t shown up out of the blue.

And there’s the miscommunication. Half-formed vague sentences interrupted and assumptions made that make Kris think Lacey’s into Peter while Lacey’s like ‘good she realizes I’m definitely NOT into Peter let’s kiss now please.’ I love miscommunication as a dramatic device. (This is also sarcasm.)

Art isn’t a talent. It’s a skill.

“This is why I don’t do bisexuals. How am I supposed to gauge where I stand with them?” First, stop acting like all bisexuals are the same. Second, maybe if you weren’t giving mixed signals with the standoffishness and the hoodie giving, she wouldn’t be so hesitant. Third, stop acting like all bisexuals are the same. Stop being biphobic. You wouldn’t say “all blondes” would you? Fuck. 

“Sure, kissing was nice, and maybe some heavy petting, but then they’d get bored or scared of more and run back to a heteronormative relationship, and Kris was always left horny and lonely.” skfdjsdlfj

She only owns one hoodie? What kind of hoodie lesbian only has one hoodie and gives it to a girl she’s not even dating?

That looks like foreshadowing... the girl who looks like shit because she stayed up too late, meet the girl who has to fix people.

[magicaltrapslover-blog]

Compiled Web Forums On Magical Traps (Mahou Shounen)

Greetings!

I've Googled and Binged this search term and constantly end up with scattered partial and often mislabeled references. I'm seeking any listings of boys/men who transform into Magical-Girls/Traps in Anime or Manga to compile a complete one. If anyone can direct me to such listings I'd be most grateful.

Thanks for any tips!

Location: Two Steps from Hell.

Kampfer - I'm a bit skeptical to calling this a true magical girl show but it has elements of that. It's largely a comedy.

Gonna be the Twin-Tail! - I actually haven't watched this show so I can't provide any thoughts.

There's also a show this season that is what you're looking for but I can't recall its name. . .

Ohg, there's also KoreZom (known affectionately as Korean Zombie Desk Car to fans) which is more a parody of the magical girl genre. It's not exactly a Magical-Girl/Trap thing but crossdressing (purposefully!) as one.

Location: Indianapolis, IN (formerly Mimiho Valley)

The one this season is Magical Girl Raising Project.

There's also Is This A Zombie? which may be the most infamous case since he still looks like a guy but is dressed like a magical girl.

Location: Frisco, TX

EmbraceMe wrote:

I don't know if the moderators will want us to post information/thoughts on the shows but I know of two (maybe a bit more). In the case they do want us to avoid listing, I'll edit this post later.

It's fine. It's not like we see very many requests for "recommendations, so opinionate away! Back to top  

DuskyPredator It...it's not like I post for you or anything!

Location: Brisbane, Australia

No mention yet of Cute High Earth Defense Club Love!, a parody anime which has a group of boys transform into girly magical girl like forms?

As mentioned above there was Kampfer and Gonna be the Twin Tail which had gender swapping with a transformation. Plus the big gimmick mentioned of with the main character of Kore wa Zombieturning into a magical girl with the costume to get power, but still looking like a dude.

I might count some jokes in Baka Test of a male character an magical girl transformation (plus guy who looks like a girl). I can't remember if it specifically had some, but I know that there is some crossdressing cute boy character and parodies including magical girls in Ebiten, but someone else would have to confirm it. Not sure if you would count it, but Gatchaman Crowds has some similarities to magical girls, although a bit more shounen, and Rui is a male character who almost always dresses as a girl. Chuunibyou's second season had a male character dress up as a magical girl, being noted as pretty I think. The short form Himegoto has a lot crossdressing, a male character does get dressed as a magical girl. The title male character from Hayate the Combat Butler has been made into a magical girl before.

There are a few others I am aware of that have crossdressing but not necesarilly anything that looks like a magical girl, or another that has a magical girl like transformation sequence but does not end up looking particularly feminine. Back to top  

maxlance

Thanks to you all! Your recommendations are just the leads I'm looking for to create a complete summarized list of this niche genre so don't doubt how accurate your suggestions were! You're hitting in the ballpark! Thanks all! 

Back to top

Dessa

 loathe to admit it, since it was such a horrible change from the manga, and Sensei herself hated it as well, but Sailormoon Stars.

The male pop idols the Starlights transform into female Senshi (note that their original form is female, the male human forms are the false forms). Back to top  

Newbie9

I vaguely recall one where there's a guy who's being chased by enemies of a warrior princess who he's the reincarnation of but not sure if she was magical. Back to top

Chiibi

Dessa wrote:

I'm loathe to admit it, since it was such a horrible change from the manga, and Sensei herself hated it as well, but Sailormoon Stars.

The male pop idols the Starlights transform into female Senshi (note that their original form is female, the male human forms are the false forms).

Personally, I think the Stars anime arc was WAY better than the one in the manga. Everybody had more personality and the last battle was just amazing.

What's horrible about that change? Unless you're a yuri fan. Which I'm not.

Three women tricking EVERYONE into thinking they are a boy band simply by crossdressing makes zero sense....besides, that's the opposite of what girls like. lol  

Location: China (Searching for Jusenkyo)

@OP: Since magical girl transformations are usually magical, are you interested in anime about boys that become female while they are magical girls? There are a couple manga titles (or perhaps more) fitting this description but in one of them the author never specifically reveals whether he actually becomes female or not. Back to top  

maxlance

Past wrote: @OP: Since magical girl transformations are usually magical, are you interested in anime about boys that become female while they are magical girls? There are a couple manga titles (or perhaps more) fitting this description but in one of them the author never specifically reveals whether he actually becomes female or not.

I'm avoiding from limiting the field and taking in the total concept that if the male appears to the public as a magic girl, whether via real transformation (finding surprisingly beautiful guy into magic girl henshin sequences like Twintails) or trapping it, it goes. Granted, there're more difficult plot reasons just why a guy would super-trap it though I do dimly recall reading from far back - and I'm sure the anime concerned was "Princess Knight" -- that one of its original concepts was a martial artist/swordsman boy who does Zorro trap style to evade any suspicion. (It harkens to my Eng Lit days when I learned the original Victorian-age manuscript of the "Blue Lagoon" novel had sibling main characters, not more conventionally palatable cousins...)

If there were a m-f counterpart to "1/2 Prince", that'd make one nice TG "henshin" show with more serious plots and deep characters; with VRMMO anime so hot I'm surprised this character device hasn't played out more by now like in Log Horizon. There're quite a few transgender henshin one scene gags in a few older anime that's very difficult to catch -- it'd mean literally viewing every anime made because such scenes were never "indexed" for the web. But whether via magic or VR, it'd like to see a TG henshin story played straight that would involve all kinds of personal and social complications than shy them.

Anyway thanks for the input!! Back to top

Past

Location: China (Searching for Jusenkyo) 

maxlance wrote: Anyway thanks for the input!! When you said TG it made me think of Jun from Happiness! While I don't want to say that any fanservicey or silly show about magical girls with traps represents the transgender experience in any way, Jun is without a doubt a boy who'd rather be a girl. In one episode where Jun is magically transformed into a girl it basically answers the question "What would happen if the prettiest girl in school, who is actually a boy actually became a girl?" Besides how could we not mention Jun Watarase in this thread? One of the epic traps in anime before traps became a thing. Back to top  

maxlance

Past wrote: maxlance wrote: Anyway thanks for the input!! When you said TG it made me think of Jun from Happiness! While I don't want to say that any fanservicey or silly show about magical girls with traps represents the transgender experience in any way, Jun is without a doubt a boy who'd rather be a girl. In one episode where Jun is magically transformed into a girl it basically answers the question "What would happen if the prettiest girl in school, who is actually a boy actually became a girl?" Besides how could we not mention Jun Watarase in this thread? One of the epic traps in anime before traps became a thing.

Good tip! Your lead that Jun did a magical girl gig (if only briefly in a OVA) made the list! Personally, I really believe that was really meant as a trial balloon to such a spin-off... By real-life experience I can see a trap being so insufferably cute that he becomes as popular to boys as girls. I recall a mention in Brazil where the teen trap was a mall lizard who got treated to movies and free video parlor games by schoolboys and it was (supposedly) a totally platonic date thrill thing. I think we're going to see similar here as social tolerances keep rising. Also your mention also prompts me to wish a show with a kind of "magical-girl guy" secret/clueless alter-life romance angle to stir the pot with, or even a club of magical-girl traps (secretly of ages up and down the scale) who uniquely have other things to do besides bumping another off. Back to top

Newbie9

At least one in The Magical Girl Raising Project. New. Back to top

Location: China (Searching for Jusenkyo)

Newbie9 wrote: maxlance wrote: or even a club of magical-girl traps (secretly of ages up and down the scale).

Works 4 me!! I think this is kind of what Mayo elle Otokonoko was supposed to be. A proposed anime series that never saw the light of day other than a PV that came with the opening song release. As far as I can tell it is either about a school comprised entirely of traps or has a trap club and permits male students to wear the girl's uniform but doesn't seem to have any sort of magical element.

Btw the song is totally cute and sung by the same person who sung the ending songs for other shows featuring traps such as Happiness! Otoboku and Steins;Gate.

Chuckbait wrote: At least one in The Magical Girl Raising Project. New.

Great catch! Thanks! La Pucelle about personified the ideal magical girl-guy philosophy. It's a shame La Pucelle skipped a Henshin sequence. (I'm seeking well done and tasteful guy into magic chick Henshin scenes on the side too.) I like Magical Girl Raising for bringing up the point that if the worlds inside anime/manga truly reflected their populations' sentiments and fantasies that there ought be a heck of lot more magical girl-guys than they portray. (Or maybe Kyubey doesn't know the sex switch trick like Favv does!  ) Back to top

maxlance

Past wrote: I think this is kind of what Mayo elle Otokonoko was supposed to be. A proposed anime series that never saw the light of day other than a PV that came with the opening song release. As far as I can tell it is either about a school comprised entirely of traps or has a trap club and permits male students to wear the girl's uniform but doesn't seem to have any sort of magical element.

Btw the song is totally cute and sung by the same person who sung the ending songs for other shows featuring traps such as Happiness! Otoboku and Steins;Gate.

Thanks for the really useful heads' up tip even though Mayo doesn't appear magical. It just seems peculiar to me that when yuri and yaoi and even sibsex are so pervasive in manga and anime that there's relatively so little dedicated work or even fan forums in the traps cuter than girls genre in general. Seems to me there's just as much meat for creative comedy and drama and offbeat variations there, especially when you include the VRMMO realm which kind of straddles reality and magical. (I have a gut feeling that SAO [and Log Horizon] willfully nipped any VR-trap storylines in the bud in the very first ep which I think was a mistake, as Magical Girl Raising shows can work well). An aside; I wish VR people educated people more that just attaching goggles to something optical doesn't make it "VR". There are pre-Xmas sales here in NYC of View-Masters and even binoculars being sold as VR devices.) Well, here's wishing for a anime trap convention OVA! Back to top

DuskyPredator It...it's not like I post for you or anything!

Location: Brisbane, Australia

maxlance wrote: Seems to me there's just as much meat for creative comedy and drama and offbeat variations there, especially when you include the VRMMO realm which kind of straddles reality and magical. (I have a gut feeling that SAO [and Log Horizon] willfully nipped any VR-trap storylines in the bud in the very first ep which I think was a mistake, as Magical Girl Raising shows can work well).

The second season of Log Horizon actually had something interesting with the character spoiler[Tetra]who could come as a surprise, but some like myself picked up the clues, that the characterspoiler[most like a magical girl, was originally a man]. Although the series kind of was always on the cusp of saying something. Back to top  

Newbie9 DuskyPredator wrote:

The second season of Log Horizon actually had something interesting with the character spoiler[Tetra] who could come as a surprise, but some like myself picked up the clues, that the character spoiler[most like a magical girl, was originally a man]. Although the series kind of was always on the cusp of saying something.

Yea, missed that! Luv s/he! Are VR traps like that way too flirty to really be straight? Back to top

maxlance

Greetings; I checked out DuskyPredator's Log Horizon tip and must say she-he is an interesting character, which brings up the fascinating psychology of how long and what a soul sealed up a different avatar over time will begin evolving into beyond their original personalities, maybe even becoming a new "backstory" to that character. To more directly answer Newbie, I'd guess the Log Horizon character in question was likely originally gay because I can't imagine someone else teasing and wildly flirting guys like that, though as I mentioned over time maybe that avatar and its social standing there will shape a new persona. Not really a magical girl-guy issue -- unless we have one trapped in Log Horizon to start with. VRMMO is the one "reality" way to have true magical girls and magical girl-guys. So the list goes on. Back to top

Errinundra Moderator

Joined: 14 Jun 2008 Posts: 4231 Location: Melbourne, Oz Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 4:49 pm

I've just watched this show. Birdy the Mighty has a school boy who shares his body with an alien female law enforcer. Normally he has the boy's appearance but, when necessary, transforms into the girl in order to deal with sundry villains. The show combines action and comedy. The transformations cause confusion for his family and his prospective girlfriend. They two personalities also hold internal conversations.

I haven't seen it yet, but I assume the remake - Birdy the Mighty Decode - has the same premise. Back to top    

ChibiKangaroo Birdy the Mighty is quite good. I'm not sure if it falls in this category just because i think boy + girl merging into one being or sharing a body is kind of its own thing, but it is similar.

Thanks for this head's up! Though not magic related the gender swapping aspect makes a list. Errinundra wrote: I've just watched this show. Birdy the Mighty has a school boy who shares his body with an alien female law enforcer. Normally he has the boy's appearance but, when necessary, transforms into the girl in order to deal with sundry villains. The show combines action and comedy. The transformations cause confusion for his family and his prospective girlfriend. They two personalities also hold internal conversations.

I haven't seen it yet, but I assume the remake - Birdy the Mighty Decode - has the same premise.

Thanks, a good mention, though not exactly a magical-girl theme, more like the "science girl" trap that's Twintails, but gender duality theme makes the honorable mention list. I'm kind of getting inspired to try doing a magical trap short myself, only I'm a lousy artist! Back to top

GoddessOtome I was gonna say La Pucelle from Magical Girl Raising Project.

Newbie9 GoddessOtome wrote: I was gonna say La Pucelle from Magical Girl Raising Project.

You mean Magical Girl RAZING Project!  

Happy New Year All!

I need help in an accurate translation for the titles of my listings for magical girl-guys and virtual girls/women. I'd appreciate any sage knowledge of whether the Japanese term "Mahou Shounen" actually literally translates out as either "male magical girls" or "males who transform into magical girls," and if there's a more accurate one please tip me. I found quite a few "male magical girls" are actually traps in magical girl guise which to me isn't quite the real deal though legit enough in topic.

Also for a parallel listing this topic has inspired, I'm seeking Japanese terms for "VR women who are men" and "VR trap" or "VR TG". I'm trying to discriminate in that you probably wouldn't qualify a male trapped as a female avatar in Log Horizon as actually being a trap which to me is more of a "lark adventure" situation (as originally happened in the 1st SAO ep) than a involuntary trapped "TG" situation as occurs in LH.

Thanks for any assist! Back to top

DuskyPredator It...it's not like I post for you or anything!

Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 11138 Location: Brisbane, Australia

Well "mahou shoujo" is literally "magic" and "girl", so "mahou shounen" should just be "magical boy". I think that I have seen it used to refer to a character like Chrono from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, who is really a male version of what the titular character is. I think that if a male character turned into a girl they would be a full magical girl. But I still feel tempted to call Ayumu a magical girl despite his gender not changing.

@DuskyPredator

Some things in regards to KoreZom, I don't think they referred to themselves as Magical Girls (mahou shoujo). Instead the term was "masou shoujo" and the English equivalent translation of it, from the fansubs I've seen, was Magiclad Girl. So, yes, he's not a magical girl in many senses since he just, err, wears their garments.

@maxlance

I don't know of any Japanese equivalence for the terms you're looking for but the term I've seen used in papers and such is "gender swapping*" so hopefully that will aid you in finding a Japanese equivalence of the term.

*This terms refers to playing as the opposite gender in games.

EmbraceMe wrote: @DuskyPredator

Some things in regards to KoreZom, I don't think they referred to themselves as Magical Girls (mahou shoujo). Instead the term was "masou shoujo" and the English equivalent translation of it, from the fansubs I've seen, was Magiclad Girl. So, yes, he's not a magical girl in many senses since he just, err, wears their garments.

Oh, you're just splitting hairs here.  

Ayumu *is* a magical girl in every sense of the term. He's got a bloody HENSHIN SEQUENCE. Back to top

maxlance Greetings all and thanks for the feedback!

Can those in the lingo know straighten me out on phase usage? Google Translate is almost useless in providing me what "trap" (as in crossdresser) is In Japanese, never mind the full term "Magical Trap", or "Virtual Woman Man" like a guy's fem-VR avatar in LH, unless they have to be made up which ought be fun. Maybe some another language might be plastic enough to possess such terms! My listing does distinguish between true biologically changed guys into real magical girls (like Twintails) and those becoming "magical traps." I am also coming around to accepting fully mind swapped magical girl dudes as the real deal (say a brother mind-swaps his sis's to kindle her magical bod) if the situation calls it, along with multiple personality magical girl traps as being legit as well. Another category I might consider splitting off are "techno-magical magical traps" as in Twintails, as opposed pure magic magical traps as La Purcell in Magical Girl Raising. Supposedly there's a Sailor Moon magical girl guy in the works but have to dig that out.

Thanks for your input! Back to top