#ricky FUCKING banes

[deaf-solitude]

GUYS IM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THE TWO NEW OFMD EPISODES TODAY!!!! MY BROKEN HEART WAS MENDED AND THEN BROKEN AGAIN WITHIN TWO HALF AN HOUR EPISODES SO WHAT IF I DIED TONIGHT

!! EPISODE 6-7 SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!

OHHHHHHHH MY GODDDD????? THE PARTY EPISODES JUST DONT MISS?? IZZY SINGING LA VIE EN ROSE (I LOVE THIS SONG) IN DRAG W/ WEE JOHN WAS CRAZYYYYYYY I WAS ACTUALLY ALMOST BAWLING AND KICKING MY FEET WITH MY FRIEND OH MY GODDDD

and listen im no izzy apologist, but GOD he has very quickly risen from one of my least favourite characters to one of my favs. I love him SO much. Con's singing voice? FUCKING GORGEOUS. and frenchie playing the lute again?? FUCK. you bet your ASS im writing a fanfic about that WHOLEEE episode. GOD. im so unbelievably happy about episode 6 you guys have NO idea. Last season's party episode was my fav prior to this, but THIS episode?? all time fav hands down. I hated that it was only 30 minutes though that shit deserved to be so much longer. and then the crew singing along through the credits and chanting one more song had me in tears, how dare they rob us of seeing that scene play out.

now dont even get me STARTED on episode 7. die. so what the fuck was that. I was LOVING when the episode started, saw frenchie shake some ass in the background and almost had a heart attack (i will forever be in love with Frenchie sorryyy), but then THAT. scene. WHAT THE FUCK. the lead up to ed and stede reuniting and making up was SO good and then THAT??? WHAT THE FUCK?? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOURE GONNA BE A FISHERMAN??? DIEEEEE. I wouldve COMPLETELY understood if Ed said the last night was a mistake and he had to figure things out before he could continue with Stede. thats fine. thats actually really great and really healthy and i love that, genuinely. but then the ARGUEMENT?? FUCK RIGHT OFF. MY HEART? SHATTERED. TORN TO SHREDS. PUT THROUGH THE BLENDER. BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK. EVERYTHING that this season had been leading up to and perfectly crafting all for NOTHING?? FOR THEM TO BE SEPERATED AGAIN?? no. im SORRY but i hate it. I *do* see it working out in a few select scenarios, but im still pissed. like if they dont have them meet back up in the most perfect way possible ill be so mad. like SO mad. and then the whole thing with Olu, Jim and Archie and Zheng Yi was so cute and then Stede had to RUIN it. god. i ahte when he gets drunk and starts aggroing at people, it never ends well. AND THEN THAT MOTHERFUCKER RICKYYYYYYYY. RICKY. WHEN I CATCH YOU RICKY. RICKY WHEN I CATCH YOU. THAT MF IS DEAD TO ME. HES BEEN DEAD TO ME. Zheng Yi's face when everything got blown up??? fuck RIGHT OFF KISS MY ASS RICKY. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER GOD DAMN IT.

anyway im so sorry for that outburst i HAD to get that shit off my chest. anyway ofmd continues to be my all time fav show and i love it sm <3

also working on a request rn to post!! been trying to overcome my writers block and im really liking how this one is turning out. feel free to shoot me some more requests, including season 2 stuff! :D

[loverboy1717]

Ricky is like Stede in the way that he is rich and was probably also bullied/felt like an outsider.

But that’s where it stops.

Stede got bullied cus he was soft and gentle(gay) I’d be willing to bet Ricky got bullied cus he was a spoiled little entitled tyrant.

Stede sees people being bullied and gravitates towards the victims to form communities. Ricky sees people being bullied and tries to emulate the bullies out of his own self interest to acquire status and power. He belittles the pirates in RoP the second he gets there. Trying to buddy up with Stede about how much better/smarter they are. Ricky is the kid who brings his ball to the park and shares until he starts losing so he takes his ball and goes home so nobody can play.

He didn’t try to destory piracy to be king Pirate or to prove himself. He didn’t even do it to look out for the empire or whatever. He did it because if he can’t have it nobody can.

[dannydoesnotexist]

Prince Richard Banes everybody, the only man who can out-bottom Izzy Hands

[outlanderalien]

I am writing The Most indulgent Izzy x Ricky short fic. It's hate fucking, it's one-sided pining, it's consentual S&M, it's on my mind 24/7 and when I post it, it's going to be so over.

[forpiratereasons]

i know a lot of people wanted izzy's death to be more meaningful in some way - that if he had to go, that he go out protecting ed, or even stede, or sacrificing himself for the crew. i guess i just want to throw my two cents in and say i loved it, that it wasn't like that. it was kind of stupid, kind of senseless. death is senseless. we so rarely get to see the whole fucking senselessness of it in media in a character we care about.

this one gets pretty personal so i'm gonna put it under a cut

my gran died at the end of july, super out of the blue, and it just didn't make any fucking sense. she was doing so good. the night before, she'd stayed up late, laughing and playing cards and eating blueberries with my mom. and then the next morning she dozed off after breakfast and just. never woke up again. and it was so hard that we didn't see it coming. when my mom called to tell me all i could say was what? what? what? it didn't make any sense, what she was saying. senseless. meaningless. one day there, one day gone.

i work in the legal system, and we see that senselessness a lot. a guy driving his car in the wrong place, wrong time, hit by a drunk driver, gone forever. a neighbor stepping out onto their porch while a fight is going on, someone draws a gun, gone forever. a friend steps between two strangers arguing, steps right into a knife he never saw, gone forever. a child getting a hold of dad's gun, gone forever. an addict chases a high, the dose is off or there's something else in it, gone forever. a dad getting frustrated with the baby, gone forever. a teenager thinking he could make it across the tracks before the train, gone forever. tomorrow i'm going into work to run a med mal case. the surgery went wrong. the nurses didn't notice the signs. gone forever. firearms discharge accidentally. an argument devolves into a fight. a deal goes bad. someone is stronger. faster. drunk. high. negligent. reckless. my work is a fucking parade of people who did nothing to deserve death and everything to deserve more, and yet. and yet.

they forgot to disarm ricky banes. izzy happened to be standing right behind him. gone forever.

that senselessness makes sense to me. i guess it mattered to me to see that play out on screen because that's what i see in real life. that ache is the ache i see in people's eyes when they file into court. in my mom's eyes at family dinner. sure, ofmd is just a tv show, and izzy hands is just a character, but that death reflected something to me that i see every single day in so many people.

i've seen a lot of people say izzy deserved better. so did that guy and that neighbor and that stranger and that addict and that child and that baby and that teenager and my gran.

but death is not about deserving. it doesn't care what someone deserved. it comes or it doesn't. when a creator/writer kills a character, they aren't necessarily saying that character deserved it. they're saying death comes for us all, and right now it comes for this person. that they made izzy's death kind of stupid and kind of senseless reflected reality for me and made me and the death i experience every day feel really seen. the questions it leaves in its wake that you'll never know the answers to.

why is sometimes one of those questions.

you don't have to like it. that's okay. i just wanted to say - just because it wasn't for you doesn't mean it wasn't for anyone. it meant a lot to me.

[dragon-kazansky]

Spirit of the sea

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

SEASON 2 CONTENT AHEAD!!!

Blackbeard rules the sea. Despite wanting his captain back, Izzy realises his mistake. Protecting the crew is his concern. Protecting you is his life mission. Stede's return brings hope, but there's a lot of work to be done before this crew becomes a family.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Warnings: Spoilers. The ending he deserved. WHEN I CATCH YOU RICKY.

Chapter Seventeen - The unicorn and his sparrow

♡♡♡

It was funny. In a way. This whole thing had started with you in Stede's brig and now you were locked up with his crew. So much had happened since then.

The fucking Navy. Not even just that. Richard Banes.

Zheng had intended to use the Navy, but the prince as used that against her. He had given each ship a gift, a grandfather clock, as a sign of "peace." Only they were full of explosives and he had used them to destroy her fleet.

Now the Republic of Pirates was flooded with the English.

You were sat in the cell below Jackie's bar with the rest of the crew. Izzy hadn't left your side the entire time. When the bar got flooded with Navy men, Izzy had pushed you behind him. When you were caught and being manhandled, Izzy swore more than you had ever heard before. It was a constant "get your hands off them." He did not like seeing you being pushed around.

As soon as the cell was locked behind you, Izzy gathered you in his arms and held you to his chest. You had to reassure him you were okay.

Prince Richard decided to come pay you all a visit. "Hello, friends."

You reach for Izzy's hand. He squeezes yours back.

"This is bittersweet. I mean, here we all are at the end of piracy and you'll all be hung in the next few minutes and all your stories will be lost for the ages. Which is a shame because I do love a good pirates' tale. But don't you worry. Because I will not be hanging you by the thumbs like that deranged Captain Kidd." The prince rattles on.

"That's not what he did, you twat," Izzy says from the back of the cell. His hand was still holding yours.

"Oh, my. The great Izzy Hands," the prince claps.

"And you're... Pinocchio?" Izzy asks, mocking the man. You laugh with the others.

"A new one. Bring him upstairs."

You stop laughing.

"Sir, aren't we going to hang them?" The man beside the prince asks.

"Oh, yes. But they're not going anywhere." Richard smiles. "So I have time for a drink with a legend."

As the prince walks away, Izzy is summoned closer to the gate. You squeeze his hand, silently asking him not to go. Izzy turns to you. You look at him with leading eyes, shaking your head softly.

"Don't." The word falls from your lips in a soft whisper.

"I'll be alright. I'm coming back for you," he says softly. Your expression doesn't change and it hurts Izzy's heart to see you look so worried for him.

Izzy let's go of your hand and exits the cell. He turns to you once more before going upstairs.

You sink against the ball.

"Fuck."

♡♡♡

"Can't believe I have an audience with the great Israel Hands. That's absolutely astounding." Richard is in awe.

Izzy just focuses on the candles on the table.

"I've always thought you were underrated. I mean, it's absurd, isn't it? Isn't it? That Blackbeard, he gets all this praise, when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation?"

"Ya don't know the first thing about piracy, do ya?" Izzy asks him, looking up from the candle.

"Don't I?"

"It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want. Its about belonging to something when the world bad told you you're nothin'. It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. It's about letting go of ego for something larger." You and the crew cross his mind. "The crew."

"Oh, my goodness. You've just grown so tedious." Richard chuckles dryly.

♡♡♡

Archie and Fang are trying to help pry the bars open enough for someone to slip through. You're sat on the cold ground of the cell staring at your dirty old boots.

What was this prince fuck talking about with Izzy? Why did he have to take him upstairs? Was Izzy okay?

Frenchie sits down beside you. "You doin' okay?" He asks.

"Peachy..."

"They'll bring him back. Izzy won't go down without a fight."

You sighs softly. "I know..."

"And he's not going to leave you here. Izzy cares for you more than he does for anyone. He's not gonna let you down."

You smile. "He could never do that."

Frenchie nudges your arm lightly.

"I worry about him. Like, all the time. I've sailed with Izzy Hands for years. I've known him deeper than anyone else ever has. He's let me see sides to him you would otherwise think didn't exist. I love him so damn much and now we're trapped here surrounded by the fucking Navy... And that prick has Izzy up there. I swear to god if that dick touches my Izzy, I will drive my sword through his eyes."

Frenchie grimaces. He gets the picture.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I get it," he says, smiling.

You chuckle softly.

♡♡♡

"I destroyed the Republic of Pirates and that makes me the ultimate pirate," Ricky said to Izzy.

Izzy is amused. "You're not a pirate, lad. You're a spoiled, entitled bunch of twats dressed in puffy, blue nighties."

"Shame, I was going to let you live."

"Kill me." Izzy smiles. "Kill us all. Our spirit will last throughout your entire fuckin' empire because... we're good." Izzy states, full of emotion. "And you... are a rancid, syphilitic cunt."

The sound of vast footsteps entering the bar has everyone turning their heads that way. Stede has entered with Zheng and Ed behind him.

"There's a lot of them," Stede says, looking around the room.

Within second of the Navy drawing their swords, they all keel over. Poison.

"Is that us doing that?" Stede asks.

Roach and Pete look around the room in confusion. Jackie laughs from behind them.

"What the hell was in that brandy?" Roach asks.

"Nothin' you want to fuck with." Jackie grins.

While Jackie assures the Swede he will be fine, Zheng walks over to Ricky and grabs him by the coat. "This is for Auntie."

"No!"

Zheng looks up to see Auntie there. She's fine. The rest of the crew flood into the bar. Auntie hits Ricky over the head and the crew greet their captain.

You waste no time making your way over to Izzy and checking him over. He smiles at your fussing.

"I'm fine," he assures you.

You take his face in your hands and look at him, sighing softly. "I was worried about you."

"I know," he smiles.

He brings one of your hands to his lips and kisses it gently. His eyes don't stay from yours.

Zheng and Auntie hug.

Everyone is together again.

"So we should probably make a plan here," Stede says, looking around.

"Still surrounded by English Soldiers."

"I think a royal hostage could prove valuable," Stede states.

Everyone gathers to hear the plan. It's completely diabolical. Probably the most insane plan you had ever heard. So dangerous and risky, anyone with sense would never go through with it.

"So, that is the plan." Stede says proudly. "We all live to fight another day."

"Or it's a complete suicide mission," Ed says.

The crew agree with that. You and Izzy glance at each other. Once again his hand is nestled in yours.

"It's only suicide if we die."

♡♡♡

You shrug on the blue coat, a size too big for you. You pick up one of the hats from the floor and place it on your head. The crew do the same. Stripping down the soldiers and taking their gear.

A disguise.

Izzy stares at the coat he is holding in his hand. You look at him softly. He doesn't react as you come over to him and slowly take the coat from him. He lets you take it from his hands and lets you help him put it on. You will the coat around him and smile.

"Very handsome."

"I'm not wearing the fucking hat."

You chuckle. "Course not. But I like the coat. Maybe we should get you a nice long coat."

Izzy rolls his eyes and shakes his head with a smile. "Don't be daft."

Once everyone was dressed, Ricky was trusted to you and Izzy, and everyone left the bar. Including Jackie and the Swede. Everyone was going to get off that island.

You were all going to take down as many English as you could. Groups of them were littered around the island.

The crew just needed to reach the shore.

Izzy handles Ricky. You follow him, staying close. The others follow.

"Hello," Ricky greets the group of soldiers. "The operation is over now, so we're just gonna head back to the ships, please."

It could have gone so smoothly.

You hadn't seen Ricky gesture down where he parted his legs enough for Izzy's wooden one to be seen. In a split second Ricky drew a gun and shot it.

"They're pirates!" He yells.

You hear Izzy groan, having been close enough to beside him. Your head snaps to him to see him holding his side. Blood is oozing out.

"Izzy!"

The crew fight the soldiers as you push Izzy to the side. You try to get a good look at the wound, but he refuses to move his hand.

"Izzy..."

"Come on," he grunts. He marches past you and onward. The crew follow. You hurry to catch up to him.

Izzy has been shot! That fucking prick.

The prince gets away.

The path down to the shore is clear. It's a straight run down. The crew will just have to watch behind them.

Izzy is falling behind. You refuse to go on ahead. You come over to his side and hold him where he hasn't been shot.

"Izzy?"

"Just... fuck off." He says it softly, no malice behind his words. He's hurting. When Izzy is in pain, you hurt too.

The crew are being shot at from behind. You hold onto Izzy as best as you can. Ed slows and hurries over, taking Izzy on the other side. You both get him to the boats.

Once everyone is on the ship Ed lays Izzy down. You remove the coat you're wearing to make a cushion for his head. Roach left immediately to get medical supplies.

Izzy looks up at you. There's a lot of blood and everything hurts, but still he sees you clearly. You're keeping pressure on the wound and giving out orders.

He smiles. He likes it when you're bossy.

You look down at him, tears welling up in your eyes. "Look at me, okay? Keep your eyes open. Don't you dare close them."

Izzy just smiles up at you.

"Why are you smiling?" You ask.

"Because you're beautiful," he says.

"Shut up. You're literally bleeding out," you say, but can't help but smile.

"I'm a lucky man."

You look at him, not sure what to say, but at least he was talking to you. You should keep him talking.

"Yeah?"

"Any man would kill to have a partner like you by their side. Especially in our line of work."

"You're getting sentimental..."

"I have that right, don't I? As a dying man."

"You're not going to die. I won't let you." You frown at him.

He continues to smile.

Roach returns with the stuff. You instruct him on exactly what to do. Izzy lays there and looks at you. His beautiful sparrow.

Eventually he passes out.

♡♡♡

Izzy wakes up feeling a horrid ache in his side. He inhales sharply, trying to get himself together before he opens his eyes properly. His mind is a little confused.

Something warm slips into his hand.

Izzy smiles.

His eyes open slowly and he turns his head to look at you. You're watching him closely. You lean forward when you see him wake. His smile brightens.

"Hello, love." His voice is hoarse.

You smile and let out a sigh. "You moron."

"You alright?" He asks.

"Me? I should be asking you that! Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? You passed out on me. I thought... I thought I lost you."

His smile fades as he gazes at you.

"I promised ya, didn't I? I'm never leavin' you again."

You lean over the bed and wrap your arms around him tight. You're careful of his wound. Izzy moves his arm so it wraps around you. He gives you a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry, love."

"I was so scared." You look up at him. "What would I do without you?"

He offers you a gentle smile, caressing your cheek gently with his finger. "I don't know. But I do know I'm one lucky man."

You laugh softly. "You already said that."

"I've been shot twice. Both times I've had you nurse me back to health. I'm very lucky." His gaze on you is full of fondness.

"I love you."

He pulls you closer and kisses you. It's slightly desperate, well needed.

"I love you too."

♡♡♡

Lucius and Pete just got married. Despite needing as much rest as he could get, Izzy insisted on being there to watch. It was lovely.

The crew cheer as they kiss.

You smile and look at Izzy. He smiles at you. "Maybe we should try that," he says.

"Try what?" You ask.

He shrugs lightly. "Marrying."

Your expression softens. "Is that a joke?" You ask, not entirely certain.

He shrugs again.

"You thought about it?" You ask.

"It's crossed my mind."

You smile softly. "Guess we'll see what the future holds."

His hand finds yours.

♡♡♡

Ed and Stede stood on the shore. On the horizon The Revenge sails away. The two watch their friends go, leaving them behind. Behind them was a run down building. They hoped to turn it into an inn.

The crew of The Revenge promised they'd be back someday, but they had a mission of their own.

The Revenge was under new command.

Captain Izzy Hands. His first mate, you.

There was a prince that needed hunting down. The Revenge would live up to it's name.

A calm came over the ocean. Like everything was how it should be.

Edward Teach knew deep down everything would be okay. The ship was in good hands and the crew would thrive.

Izzy Hands would thrive. He would live. He has everything to live for. He has you to live for. Just like how Ed had Stede.

Good luck to anyone who tried to mess with the unicorn and his sparrow. They were not people you should trifle with.

Izzy Hands is happy. Happy and in love

♡♡♡

@grippleback-galaxy - @askmarinaandothers - @godlikegallagher - @for-fuck-sake-im-alive - @whiskeyswriting - @lxsm2 - @bloody-bunni666 - @the-chocoholic-writer - @bugbugboy - @callmemana - @the-shenny-of-azkaban - @cool-ontherun-world - @outer-space-beech - @ahewi24 - @grace585 - @innertimemachinegirl - @dmitrytherat - @emilynissangtr - @fruitymoonbeams-blog -

[ciginatree]

This Place is Haunted - Ricky Olson x fem!reader

Summary: When a group of friends decide to perform a seance in one of the most haunted spots in eastern Pennsylvania, things take a dark, bloody turn.

Content warnings: language, gore, death, Ouija board/seance, mentions of sacrifice, murder, suicide, child death; fluff

Word Count: 5.4k

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to finish! Thank you all for being so patient, it turned out a lot longer than I expected and took a long time to edit. Shout out to my sister for being my beta tester. Enjoy!

This story is a complete work of fiction portraying a real person or persons in a fictional situation.

Ricky POV

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I say, breaking the silence in the van. At my feet is a backpack stuffed with flashlights, gloves, a first aid kit, candles, and to top it off: a Ouija board. I had dabbled in the paranormal before, I live in a haunted house for fuck’s sake, but I had never thought to take it this far. I mean, breaking and entering into the most taboo spot in this part of Pennsylvania? There’s no way in hell it can end well.

“Seriously, Rick? You’re gonna back out now? This was basically your idea,” Angelo groans.

“Yeah you literally won’t shut up about this place and how much you’ve been wanting to ‘check it out’,” Balz emphasizes with air quotes, momentarily taking his hand off the wheel.  

“I didn’t mean I wanted to actually break into the place!”  

“Whatever man it’s too late you’re not getting out of this van.”

I sigh, sinking into the seat of the car, accepting my fate. I look down at my watch: 11:13 pm. The only people out in this podunk town now are druggies and night shifters. Moving here from Seattle was a drastic change, a welcome one, but drastic nonetheless. I left my hometown to join the band a few months ago and I have to say, I got some nasty culture shock. 

“Wait, why are we going to Chris’s? I thought he wasn’t coming,” I say as we turn onto the familiar street.

“He’s not. Y/N is,” Balz remarks smugly. 

“What?!” Y/N has been helping out with some of the more local shows since before I joined the band, she’s Chris’s neighbor so we’ve gotten to know her pretty well outside the shows too. And it’s no secret to the band that I’ve developed a bit of a crush on her. I groan, dragging my hands down my face and slumping into the seat. Goddammit I really can’t back out now. Balz pulls into the driveway and honks twice. A few seconds pass before Y/N exits her house. She turns around and locks the door before bounding down the steps towards the van. She slides open the door and settles into the window seat to the left of me, giving a quick greeting. 

“Oh Y/N, that seat belt is broken, you'll have to sit in the middle seat,” Balz says looking in the rearview mirror. Bullshit. I meet his gaze in the mirror, glaring at him briefly. I know exactly what he’s doing. 

“Oh. Ok.” Y/N replies nonchalantly, sliding over into the seat next to me. I scoot over a bit so she has room to buckle. I meet her gaze, giving her a small smile before looking out the window. Balz pulls out of the driveway and starts heading down the backroads towards the abandoned house. I feel stiff. I can sense her right next to me, our knees practically touching. I try to keep my breathing steady to not give myself away. “So…what exactly is the story behind this house?”

“Why don’t you tell her Ricky? You’re the one who’s obsessed with the place,” Angelo jokes. My cheeks heat up a bit and I pull my lips into a tight line. I neutralize my expression and turn towards Y/N to respond. 

“Long story short, a bunch of culty shit happened in the 1960s. Sacrifices, mania, suicide; that sort of thing,” I mutter out quickly.

“C’mon you can do better than that. Seriously, give me the details,” Y/N looks at me, eyes full of curiosity. 

I sigh, exhaling through my nose. “The Banes family moved into the house in 1962, the house was newly built. Emily Banes, the mother, started getting into the occult and paranormal pretty soon after they moved in. She believed there was some sort of spirit in her house that she needed to please, she basically worshiped it. In ‘63 she gave birth to Henry, who was born with his limbs all twisted up. The doctors did their best to fix him, but it didn’t work too well. Emily believed that the defects were because the spirit was angry with her, but the truth is she took thalidomide during the pregnancy to help with morning sickness which caused a malformation of Henry’s skeletal structure. About a month after he was born, she ritualistically sacrificed him in the living room in an attempt to ‘please the spirit’. She buried him in the wall and claimed he died from the defects,” the car is dead silent now as I continue,.”Emily went manic, blaming her husband, Robert, for Henry’s death. She tore into the wallpaper and brick, ripping up her fingers trying to find her baby. The neighbors found her roaming the neighborhood at night muttering to herself and digging in their bushes. She ended up stabbing Robert 34 times in his sleep before tying an old curtain around her neck and jumping off the balcony that overlooks the front room. The house has been lived in a few times since then, but has been abandoned for decades. Rumor has it that if you light candles in the shape of a pentagram in the living room, close your eyes, and listen you’ll hear a baby shrieking faintly in the walls.”

The silence was thick in the car, suffocating as we drove over the gravel backroads. I bite my lip, pushing the lip ring with my tongue as I wait for someone to speak.

“Jesus,” Y/N finally breathes out. I look over and her eyes are wide with shock. “We’re seriously doing a Ouija board here in the middle of the night?” There’s more than a hint of fear in her voice. 

“Don’t worry, Rick will protect you, won’t you Ricky?”

I roll my eyes at Angelo’s jab before turning my attention back to her. “Seriously though, it’ll be fine. I’ve got a pocket knife if things get tough.” I tap my pocket, smiling.

She chuckles, “Oh boy, ghosts watch out Ricky’s got a pocket knife.”

I laugh as the van slows to a stop. The run down house looms into view of the window. Taking a breath I grab the backpack in front of me before sliding the van door open and hopping onto the gravelly, dirt filled terrain. 

***

Glass crunches under my feet as we enter the house. A curved staircase shadows the entryway, what’s left of the musty carpet hanging loosely on the wooden stairs. I follow to the right of the staircase, the grained wooden floor of the front room coming into view. It’s littered, the sharp odor of urine assaults my nose and my chest heaves. I bring the sleeve of my sweater to my face and cough into it, holding it there in a feeble attempt to mask the smell. “Oh my god, I can taste it,” I wheeze.

“Christ!” I swivel around in time to see Balz coughing and swatting frantically at a cobweb caught on his face. I laugh maniacally into my sleeve as he hacks up half his air supply. When he’s regained his composure I sweep my hand out in front of me, gesturing for him to lead the way. Shuddering, Balz smacks my arm out of his path glaring as he speed walks past me. I snicker, falling into step behind him with Y/N behind me, and Angelo bringing up the rear.   

 Dust sparkles in the rays of our flashlights, the wood protesting beneath us. I sweep my flashlight over the area, taking in the decay. Clink. I aim my flashlight down in front of me, searching for what I kicked. A slim cylinder, caught in a notch of the wooden floor. A needle. Like I said, druggies. I swipe it over to the wall with the toe of my shoe and continue into the room. 

“Woah, is that…?” Y/N’s flashlight points up, the light bending off the ancient crystals of the chandelier. The broken light casts a speckled spotlight onto the twisted iron railing lining the balcony that overlooks the living room. The mangled railing leaves a gaping hole; a mouth filled with rotting iron teeth and a gruff wooden tongue. Mutilated shards of metal angle down the overhang, beckoning us to join it in death, just as Emily had.

“Yeah.” I say simply. I try not to imagine what her body would’ve looked like swinging below the chandelier. I slip the backpack off my shoulder with a jangling thud and crouch down to remove the supplies. Y/N brushes dirt and leaves away from the gear with the side of her shoe, taking a seat across from me. Legs crossed and hands folded under her chin she watches as I set up the seance. I pull out the candles and the Ouija board, furrowing my brow I rummage through the fabric. “Shit, I forgot a lighter.”

“Here,” Angelo paces back from the chipped wall he was inspecting, plunging his hand into his pocket to remove an old lighter. I take it from him, stowing it away in my hoodie.

“Thanks. Balz get over here!” Balz whips his head away from the dusty window and trods over to us. “Ok, here’s how this is going to work. We’re gonna set up a pentagram with the candles and us, the Ouija board, and the final candle will be in the center. Do not blow out any of the candles once we have started the seance, do not taunt the spirits, and absolutely do not end the session or remove your hand from the puck without saying goodbye. Or I will kill you. Got it?” Everyone murmurs some form of acknowledgement, looking around at each other. “Good. Everyone grab a candle and start setting up.”

The candles aren’t fancy, just small unscented tea candles found at the convenience store on Main Street. My back shivers and I take a breath as Y/N sets down the last point of the star. She, Balz, and Angelo rejoin me in the center as I unfold the board, placing the planchette in the center, and the final candle at the head of the panel. “Ok. Everyone turn off your flashlights.” Clicks echo throughout the room, and we are blanketed in an inky darkness. I stand up, withdrawing the lighter from my pocket and flick the metallic gear once, twice, the third time sparking a flame to life. Warmth dances across my fingertips and illuminates a burning orange under my face. I walk the perimeter of the star, igniting the candles one by one until the only one unlit is in the center of our little group. I tilt the flame, charring the pure wick of the final candle. Extinguishing the light in my hand I return the lighter to Angelo and cross my legs, filling the final gap on the sides of the Ouija board. Y/N sits fidgeting with the hem of her shirt to my left, Angelo to my right, and Balz across from me. I bring one knee up to my chest, folding the other beneath me. I grin in the lowlight. “Alright, let’s begin.”

Each person in the group places the first two fingers of their right hand on the planchette. We drag the puck along the perimeter of the board in three stalking circles, thinning the veil between worlds with each scrape of the cardboard. The planchette comes to rest in the center of the alphabet and I hesitate. “Shit, what are we even going to ask?”

“Probably should have thought of that before we started,” Balz hissed.

“Ok, ok just-” I sigh. “Hello?” Silence. I glance around, the flames stand still as unmoving soldiers. A lighthouse to whatever could be lurking here. I feel a chill skate along my back and I repress a shudder. A thud sounds from the back of the house and we whip our heads around, holding our breath. A small creak follows, then nothing. We all wait, turning back to stare at the unmoving puck expectantly. Nothing. “Must’ve been a rat or something. Somebody else try asking something.”

Y/N inhales, biting her lip before speaking. “Um, is… are there any spirits here? God I feel stupid.”

“You’re fine, let’s just wait a minute. See if something happens,” I tell her, eyes remaining fixed on the board. We wait, silent, for thirty seconds.

“Holy fuck!” Angelo panics suddenly. The planchette twitches, dragging itself with a scraping sigh along the board. “Is anyone moving it? Rick, are you moving it?”

“No, I’m not moving it! Now shut up!” The deformed heart shaped piece advances slowly towards the left of the board before coming to a rest. B. My heart is pounding in my ears, filling the silence between us all as the planchette resumes its movement. A. Another drag, quicker this time. B. One last scrape. Y. 

“Baby?” Y/N whispers.

“Damn. Baby? Like the baby, like the one in the walls?” Angelo hisses.

“Are we talking to Emily Banes?” I ask, ignoring both Angelo and Y/N. The planchette moves swiftly across the board. My eyes widen, startled at how quickly it responded. It barely stops at each letter before jolting to the next one. D.E.A.T.H.

“It’s not even answering the damn questions!” Balz exclaims. The planchette hasn’t stopped moving as it spells out another word. D.E.C.A.Y.

The puck whips wildly as it spells, possessed by an unseen force. My fingers tingle as my arm jolts to accommodate the movements of the piece. S.H.I.F.T. 

“Ricky, I don’t like this. I- I don’t feel good,” Y/N pants out next to me. 3. I turn my head to look at her. Fuck. Her face is flushed and strained, her head bobbing slightly as her eyelashes flutter. P.D.Q.L.Q. At this point it’s spewing letters faster than we can register. W.K.H.K.R.X.V.H.

“I’m calling it. We’re done.” I say shortly.

“Dude, we’ve only been doing this for like 5 minutes,” Angelo argues.

“I don’t fucking care, we’re done!” I shout across the board. “Circle the board three times and say goodbye.” But the second we try to move the planchette it plants itself in the center of the board. “What the fuck?” I push as hard as I can with my two fingers. The flames are flickering like flags in a hurricane, and the top point blows out and another creak sounds from behind us. I smack everyone’s hand off the planchette before curling my fingers around it and ripping it from the board. I stand up, hurling it across the room with a shout. It clatters into the wall before ricocheting and skidding across the floor. Momentary silence. Perplexed breathing huffing into the empty space. 

“Now what?” Balz hesitantly asks. I look around at everyone, silently questioning. 

“What if we explore the rest of the house?” Angelo proposes. I look at Y/N, raising my eyebrow slightly. The color has returned to her face, but she looks unsettled. 

“Sure, might as well,” she shrugs her shoulders. Balz and Angelo move to blow out the rest of the candles, gathering up the Ouija board. I turn to her as they walk out of earshot.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to,” I don’t want her to feel pressured into doing this, but curiosity is sprouting steadily in me. 

“Yeah I’ll be fine,” she gives a small half smile, but her eyes look uneasy. I nod warily, walking to the backpack to pack up the rest of the supplies. We decide to leave the candles where they are to cool off.

“What if we split up?” Balz suggests, side eyeing Angelo with a glimmer in his eyes that I don’t really like. 

“Yeah, I’ll go with Balz, you two go upstairs and look around,” Angelo replies, grinning evilly. Figures. 

“Sure, works for me. Everyone meet back at the candles in 30 minutes?” Everyone agrees, and I pull two flashlights out of the backpack. Angelo and Balz click their lights on and start walking towards the back of the house, down the corridor towards the kitchen, leaving me alone with Y/N. I hand a flashlight to her and tilt my head towards the staircase. “Let’s go.”

We make our way to the musty set of stairs together, the wood damp with rot. I take the lead in case any of the stairs give out. The planks creak and moan with every step of our feet on the curled carpet. When we reach the top I look out over the banister, pointing my flashlight down into the room and I sense Y/N step beside me as she peers down past my shoulder. 

“Jesus, that’d be a nasty fall,” she mutters, “Shall we?” She sweeps her flashlight dramatically over to the end of the hallway.

My mouth twitches up in a half smile. “We shall,” I respond just as dramatically. We laugh, making our way to the last door of the hallway. I nudge it open with the end of my flashlight, coughing at the unsettled dust. It’s a bedroom. A metal framed bed sits in the left corner, opposite from a closet with sliding wooden doors. I walk over to the bed, inspecting the stained mattress that lays upon it. Crouching down, I direct my beam of light under the bed. I wrinkle my nose at the empty beer cans and stand up. 

“Hey, Rick? Can I ask you something?” I turn towards where Y/N is inspecting the dirty, steel framed window. 

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“Why’d you guys invite me?” I pause.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this kind of seems like a guy’s trip sort of thing, so why was I invited?” I bite my lip, toying with the ring as I try to think of what to say. I sigh, folding my arms and averting my eyes, a heavy knot forming in my stomach. 

“Balz and Angelo think I have this… I dunno, a thing for you or something. So I think they invited you to try and get us to spend time together,” I mumble quickly, toying with the sleeve of my hoodie.

“A ‘thing’? What, like a crush?” 

I can feel the heat rushing to my cheeks as I stammer out a response. “I guess? I dunno, it was their idea.” 

“Do you have a crush on me?” She takes a few steps towards me and I can feel the humiliation burning me alive. “Do you like me like that?”

I lift my eyes to look at her fully, expecting disgust written all over. However, she looks curious with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. I search her face before giving a small answering nod, nerves eating away at my stomach. Before I can say anything else she grasps the front of my sweater, crashing our lips together in a messy kiss. I inhale sharply before closing my eyes and leaning into her. My heart swells and beats like it’s trying to escape my chest and I bring one hand up to cup the back of her neck as the other snakes around her waist, pulling her into me. She tastes heavenly. She tilts her head, deepening the kiss as our lips move against each other softly. Finally, we break apart, gasping for air. 

“I like you too,” she whispers. I break into a smile, huffing out a breathless laugh before pulling her back into me. I kiss her passionately, groaning at the soft noises she makes against my lips. I brush my tongue against her bottom lip, pushing it into her mouth when she parts them. She gasps and threads her fingers into my hair, tugging softly. I groan, squeezing her hip as I lick into her mouth and work my tongue against her own. 

I stumble us both backwards until my calves hit the bed and I sit down, tugging her down beside me. Not caring about how filthy the mattress is, I wrap my arms around her again, dipping my head down to kiss and suck her neck. I caress just below her jaw, sucking and gnawing at the tender skin, reveling in the way she tilts her head back. I pull away, grinning, and in the moonlight streaking through the window I can see the forming mark. I rest my forehead against her own, massaging her cheek with my thumb. “Be mine? Please?” 

She pecks my lips and I can feel her smile into the kiss. “Of course,” she chuckles lightly. I smile, pressing one last kiss to her cheek and sighing before checking my watch.

“Shit, it’s been almost half an hour we should get downstairs,” I clamber off the bed, grabbing my discarded flashlight. I take Y/N’s hand and lead her out the door when we hear a bloodcurdling scream. Balz. I freeze, squeezing her hand, and peer around the corner, praying to god that this was some sick prank he was pulling. Peering out I see a man, thin and tall dragging Balz by his ankle into the living room. There’s a dark trail following beneath his body and it’s then that I register the knife. Adrenaline shocks through me and runs my blood cold. I eye the front door gauging how fast we could get there. My head snaps back down to see the man on all fours, drooling, and scrambling for the staircase, Balz groaning on the floor long forgotten as he clambers right towards us. His hand hits the bottom step and I backpedal as fast I can, yanking a terrified Y/N with me back into the bedroom, making a beeline for the closet.

I slide the wooden door closed as quietly as I can. Circling one hand around Y/N’s mouth, and the other around her waist, I back us up into the closet as far as we can go. Moonlight bleeds in through the wooden slats and spills onto the floor before us. I can feel her hyperventilating against my palm and a lone tear drips onto my wrist. Without saying a word I turn her around and pull her into my chest, stroking her hair as I shush her gently. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry you got dragged into this. Baby, I need you to calm down, or he’ll hear us,” I whisper shakily into her temple. I try to remain calm for her sake, but I’m sure she can feel my heartbeat rapidly pounding in my chest. I can feel her near silent tears staining my neck as she bites down on my hoodie to muffle her breathing. I lower us down to a crouch, minimizing our appearance. Y/N clings to me harder, shaking, eyes shut tight against my neck. I keep one hand on the back of her head for comfort and bring the other to the pocket of my jeans, drawing out my pocket knife. I flip it open slowly, looking down to adjust my stance.

My heart drops and my breathing stutters to a halt. The moonlight is gone. My gaze trails up to see a bony figure, staring through the slats of the closed door. My grip tightens on Y/N’s head and I press her further into my neck. She tenses, holding her breath with me. A croaking, throaty chuckle rises into existence.

The motherfucker is laughing on the other side of the door. Deranged. That’s the only way to describe this corpse of a man. The laughing melds into a gurgling cough, the fit ending in a deep, guttural groan. “I know you took my baby,” he sing-songs in a hoarse moan. His gaze is at the wrong angle to be looking at us. He’s talking to the goddamn door itself. “You put him in the walls.” He giggles before giving a wet sniff. He trails his wet knife across the slats like a child playing a xylophone. A drop of blood oozes off the knife and in between the slats of the wood. Balz’s blood. It drops off the grain and dribbles next to my foot with a soft patter. I jerk my leg towards my body and stare at the crimson droplet in horror. 

I snap my gaze back up in time to see the man slam his head into the doorframe, the force of it rattling the sliding doors. “I KNOW YOU TOOK MY BABY, GIVE ME BACK MY BABY,” he bellows, repeating each phrase with every bash of his head. Y/N jumps, gripping the back of my jacket so hard I think it might tear. Through the slats I can just make out the outline of a syringe sticking out from the crook in his arm. He cracks his skull against the wall once more before stumbling across the room to the window with a low groan. “Why’d you take my baby?” he sobs, before smashing his head through the glass with a shriek. 

Now that he’s away from the door I jump up, bringing Y/N with me. She’s trembling, her eyes red from tears. “Ok, on the count of three I’m going to open the door, and we’re going to run like hell to the front door, got it?” Another crash followed by an unearthly howl and glass shards tinkling to the floor. She shakes her head frantically, eyes wide.

“No, no, no, no, no. He’s right there he’ll get us-”

“Hey, it’s ok I’ve got you, I promise,” I grasp her shoulders and plant a quick kiss to her forehead, sliding my hand down to clutch hers, the other one gripping my knife in front of me. “One… two… three!” I slide open the door and hurdle out of it, Y/N right behind me. I fling my arm out to turn the corner out of the room, when I’m suddenly wrenched backwards, Y/N’s hand leaving mine as I stumble. The force of it all sends the knife flying out of my hand and into the hallway. I whip around to see Y/N on the floor, the man gripping her by her hair. She cries out, sending elbows and fists backwards as she tries to regain her footing, but the man is just out of her reach.

“Get the fuck off her!” I shout, diving at the man. He yells, letting go of her to claw at me. I punch at his face blindly, landing any hit I can. “Y/N, go find Angelo!” 

“What about you?” 

“Go!” The word ends with a wheeze as a hit to the stomach knocks the wind out of me and I slump to the floor. The man starts after Y/N again and I scramble up, tackling him to the ground just outside the door. I look over to see her reaching the staircase before I’m hoisted up roughly by my arm. Up close, the man is more rancid than I could have previously thought. There are missing patches of hair, replaced by gummy scabs; his pupils are extremely dilated, the surrounding whites cracked with streaks of red. His lips are chapped and bleeding and his sallow face has numerous cuts from the glass he smashed himself through, the blood smeared across his puckered face. 

He slams me into the wall and I gasp as my head rebounds off of it. He chuckles leaning in close to me and I can smell his putrid breath. He mumbles croaky nonsense into my face and I bring my knee up to his groin. He lets go of me with a grunt and I punch him again as he stumbles back towards the railing. I heave against him with a final shove and his foot slips, catching the empty air between the disconnected pieces of mangled iron. He tumbles backward over the edge and I feel myself lurch forward. He’s caught my wrist.

My heart falls to my stomach as my feet leave the ground. I lock eyes with the man as an iron bar catches him, sliding through his spine and out his stomach with a gurgling choke. But I don’t stop. I pass the iron bars and freefall over the banister and past the mouth that caught the man in its teeth. For a moment it’s peaceful. Until my head cracks against the floor and my entire body goes numb. My vision blurs and I can just barely see the man skewered above me, hanging like a repulsive, mounted beast. Like Emily. 

I hear Y/N scream my name through the fuzzy haze before everything fades and I’m falling once again into darkness. 

***

Beep

Beep

I slowly wake to the feel of sheets over me, a steady light beating down behind my eyelids. My head feels like it’s going to explode. I blink my eyes open, shutting them again quickly at the burning of the sterile white lights. I try again, blinking and squinting as my surroundings slowly come into focus. I could hear the steady beeping of machines, each short sound stabbing my skull like a knife. There’s a warm weight on my hand, and I anchor myself to it. I turn my head slowly, gasping sharply at the splitting pain. My whole body aches, I feel like I can’t move.

I pant from the effort it takes to turn my head, tilting my eyes down and I see her. Y/N. Her hand is wrapped around mine, her head resting on our conjoined hands. Her hair cascades down on the hospital bed, her breath fanning gently across my fingers. She doesn’t look hurt and my chest heaves a collapsing sigh in relief. I attempt to curl my fingers around her hand, but pain shoots through my arm the second I try to move it. I hiss in pain, dissolving into a coughing fit that feels like it’s going to tear me open. Y/N snaps her head up, standing to lean over me. The light blurs around her, giving an angelic effect I wish I could admire more, but the strain in my eyes prevents me. 

“Hey,” she says softly. Her voice sounds tired, trembling slightly. “How… how are you feeling?”

“I feel like shit,” I rasp. She brushes a piece of hair back from my face.

“Yeah, falling from a balcony will do that for you,” she chuckles nervously. “You’ve been in and out of consciousness for a while now. Um, they said you have a couple fractured ribs, most likely a concussion, and a hell of a lot of bruising. They gave you an IV and some pain meds,” she gestures to the needle sticking in my hand. She takes a shaky breath and her voice breaks as she talks. “Scared the fuck out of me, Ricky.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, tears starting to well in the corners of my eyes. I’m exhausted; mentally, physically, emotionally. I just want to go home. Y/N laughs shortly, sniffing wetly as she wipes the tears that fell from her own eyes, before brushing away the one that fell down my cheek.

“Don’t apologize, you saved my life.”

I gasp a stuttering breath as my eyes widen, muscles tensing. “Balz- oh my god what-”

“He’s ok. He’ll be ok.” She interrupts, placing a hand out to steady me. “He had to have surgery, so he’s recovering in a different room. Angelo’s alright too. I found him barely conscious and dazed in the kitchen before you fell. He’s a little beat up but there’s no sign of a concussion or other injury. He’s in the waiting room right now.” I slump back against the pillow, relieved once again. I take a deep breath and try not to think too hard about everything. 

“Do you… need anything?” She asks quietly. My gaze darts to her lips before resettling on her eyes.

“Kiss me. Please,” I whisper desperately. “I just-” She cuts me off by softly pressing her lips to mine. I close my eyes and melt into her. Her cheeks are still wet from her tears and I wish I could move my arms enough to wipe them away. She squeezes my hand before pulling away just a bit, her lips brushing mine as she speaks.

“You can rest now, it’s ok. We’re all ok.” She kisses my cheek and sits back down in the chair she had pulled next to my bed. I can feel my eyes drifting and dozing as she takes my hand again, kissing each finger as I drift back to sleep. I squeeze her hand the best I can, knowing she’ll be here when I wake up.

Tag list: @rumoured-whispers @thewarmisice @black-damask-1999 @skulliecadaver-blog @bloody-delusion-expert

[amuseoffyre]

I was left unsupervised and wrote an OFMD S2 and beyond version of We Didn't Start the Fire 😁

Stede dream-fighting Izzy Hands, Ed is wrecking wedding plans, The republic, Spanish Jackie, Swede is quite the snack, Roach keeps cooking, Buttons pining, Wee John warns about the stabbing, Poor old Izzy getting dizzy, Tattoo on Ed's back. Minor Prince, puzzle chest, Swede says marriage is best, Thieving planned, husband chore, treasure chest right out the door, Indigo and coins gleam, Crew's got a new queen, Zheng Yi Sao and the Red Flag, The Republic, goodbye.

[Chorus] We didn't raise the flag But we'll keep it waving For this show we're saving We didn't raise the flag But they tried to drop it We won't let them stop it

[Verse 2] Izzy shot and Blackbeard done, Frenchie gets a promotion, Wooden boy voice, blood all over, Lucius is back. Good soup, the Queen wins, Is the Revenge sinking?? Izzy shoots Ed, the crew attack. Bonnet gets on, all escape though Ed is gone, golden merman, raised from dead, come back to him, butt his head. Exiled. Magic bowl, Buttons turning to a gull, Leg kaput, make a new foot Unicorn is Izzy

[Chorus] We didn't raise the flag But we'll keep it waving For this show we're saving We didn't raise the flag But they tried to drop it We won't let them stop it

[Verse 3] Apology, cat bell, Lucius pushes Ed as well, Fang on a fishing boat, Stede's got a cursed red coat, Ed reflects, fish is his, Time for a little kiss. Hand-in-hand, going slow, Hunted down by Ned Low, Planning party, urchins, Stede's bathtub used for drinks Drag, songs and rainbows, For goddess Calypso. Low comes, torture led, Took violin to the head. Stede is shaken, grabs for Ed Fireworks as they go to bed.

[Chorus] We didn't raise the flag But we'll keep it waving For this show we're saving We didn't raise the flag But they tried to drop it We won't let them stop it

[Verse 4] Ricky Banes, Zheng's plan, Bonnet is the fucking man, Ed is leaving, The British Invasion, Leathers brought from under waves, English soldiers put in graves, Jackie, poison-trained, Pirates get away again, Crew sad, Izzy dead, Stede is in the inn with Ed Revenge crew sail away Will they see another day?

[Chorus] We didn't raise the flag But we'll keep it waving For this show we're saving We didn't raise the flag But they tried to drop it We won't let them stop it

[Verse 5] Show cancelled, Jenkins sad, Casey says numbers were bad, Press takes a look, Is Zaslav a crook? Gay twitter here to fight, BS leak on bird-site, Pirate violence is a 'shock', HBO is roundly mocked, Time Square billboard, LA plane, DJenks says they're free again, Lubewatch trend, lots of press, New network stress, S2 now on BBC, Kristian Nairn live on IG, fans are craving what's in store, I can't take it anymore

[Chorus] We didn't raise the flag But we'll keep it waving For this show we're saving We didn't raise the flag But they tried to drop it We won't let them stop it It will still wave on, and on And on, and on

[dracothelizard]

My @ofmd-reverse-bang is now complete!

Rating: Explicit (Only applies to the epilogue, sorry if I got your hopes up)

Relationships: Frenchie/Izzy, Roach/Izzy, Frenchie/Roach, Frenchie/Roach/Izzy.

Additional Tags: AU - Space, Background Ed/Stede, Background Archie/Jim/Oluwande/Zheng, Threesome, Israel Hands is Bad at Feelings, Scams, Con Artists, Comedy, Shenanigans, Space Stations, Flirting, Awkward Flirting, Disguise, Make-overs, Gambling, Author Knows Nothing About Blackjack, Ricky Banes Being Sleazy, Attempts at communication, Background Mary Read, Background Anne Bonny, Background Chauncey Badminton, Jealousy, Public Hand Jobs, Sub Prince Ricky Banes, Light Bondage, Face Slapping, Humiliation, Zheng Comes In And Steals The Whole Thing, Sharing a Bed, Switch Israel Hands, Light Dom/sub, Bottom Israel Hands, Top Frenchie, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, The Explicit Rating Only Applies To The Epilogue, Further Info On Kinks and Sex Acts in the Epilogue

Summary: Frenchie stares straight into the wild, furious eyes of a pale man dressed in black overalls. A stowaway. They’ve got a fucking stowaway. “Fuck off.” The man raises a laser gun, and Frenchie agrees.

Frenchie and Roach are on their way to Zheng Yi Sao's Red Flag Casino for a fun evening of scheming against Richard Banes when none other than Izzy Hands turns up as a stowaway in their spaceship. Charity auctions! Awkward flirting! Make-overs and disguises! Humiliating situations! But for who?

[isadenari7]

This post will be a huge flop but I'm desperate for the opinion of someone who knows something in the matter.

I'm writing a Fanfiction and

I need help

It's an ofmd Fanfiction that's set after S2 and basically Edward and Stede have their inn (and also something else I will not say). Shit happens and apparently Ricky ✨Minor Prince✨ Banes is after them once again (maybe the rest of the Revenge told the entire world that Edward and Stede were dead or something like that, I haven't decided yet).

So they hop back on the Revenge to fucking kill the twat so that they can retire in peace.

Now

Here's the thing

I had initially planned to get Edward stabbed during a fight (they should be hanged after being prisoners but they eventually escape with the power of gayness), you know for the drama, but it seems too generic to me.

Like it doesn't have importance.

So, I was thinking for Ricky ✨Minor Prince✨ Banes to want a private talk with either Edward or Stede (like he did with Izzy); they have an heated argument and Ricky stabs the other.

Now, I was thinking for it to be Stede given their first encounter at the beginning of S2, but I think that Ricky would want a private talk with the legendary Blackbeard as well.

What do you think?

Stede or Edward?

[nogoodninny]

I’m sorry but Prince “destroying all of piracy will make me the best pirate of all” Ricky Banes, what the fuckity fuck man

[adzeisval]

Bite Down on This

Jim gets some help from Izzy, and Ricky comes back into the picture. Also on AO3.

Jim woke to the sound of shouting and what they thought might be the sound of distant gunfire. They jumped out of bed and ran out on deck scanning the sea around the Revenge for any sign of trouble. 

“Fuck!” 

There was trouble heading toward them at breakneck speed; an English Naval vessel which was already firing on them. 

In the two years since Frenchie had taken over the Revenge they had managed to keep out of sight of the English for the most part. They had spent a lot of time learning and rebuilding and helping Ed and Stede with the Inn. The English had been quiet for that time after taking the Republic of Pirates and turning into a base of operations. Everyone knew they were up to something. 

“Get the cannons ready!” Frenchie shouted, “All hands on deck, we’ve got some visitors!” 

“What’s the plan Captain?” Jim asked. 

“It’s a small ship, they’ve got the wind advantage, we’ll probably have to fight,” Frenchie said. 

“Right,” Jim said. They peered out at the ship and it was a rather small one for English Navy, they could very well take the ship if things went right. Jim tightened the glove around their wrist and thought about Izzy. 

Fight like hell, protect the crew. 

“Oooh looks like we are fucked!” Archie said, bouncing up and down a bit at the sight of the ship. 

“Hopefully not,” Jim said. 

The enemy ship fired a warning shot and a single volley of musket shot that fell short of the Revenge, before a dozen men got into two dinghies and started rowing toward the Revenge with a white flag hoisted. 

“Do we kill them yet?” Roach asked. 

“This is kinda odd isn’t it?” Olu said. Jim didn’t like it at all, they thought it would be better just to kill the navy bastards and get it done and over with but they were also intrigued as to why the English would be waving around a white flag. 

“Everybody stay at the ready,” Frenchie ordered. 

Jim peered over the edge of the ship at the armed navy men, they felt twitchy and wanted to start throwing knives. 

“I need to speak to the Captain of this vessel.” 

“That would be me,” Frenchie said, “You have two minutes before we start firing on you.” 

“Ah, we’re here to invite you to come speak with our superior. I’m sure you’ve heard of him, Prince Richard Banes?” 

Jim saw red. Jim wanted to jump down into that dinghy and kill every man there and then move on to the next and the next until they got to Ricky. 

“We’ve heard of him,” Frenchie said, “And we will not be speaking to him on civil terms so you can fuck right off.” 

“It is a rather good deal…” 

“We don’t deal with men who have killed our friends!” Jim yelled. 

“Very well.” 

The men in the dinghy were all armed of course and the Revenge was hit with a volley of shots, but once they had all shot they were sitting ducks in the dinghies and Jim quite enjoyed throwing knives into the bastards. 

There was still the main ship to worry about but….

“The cowards are running!” Wee John yelled. Jim wondered if they were running because Ricky himself was on the boat. They almost wanted to get into the blood soaked body filled dinghy to go find out. 

“Jim! Jim we need help over here,” Lucius called out and Jim was aware that someone was groaning in pain. Jim looked for Roach but  ah fuck it was Roach that was hurt. Roach was clutching his right shoulder, blood seeping between his fingers. 

“Alright Roach let’s see what we’ve got,” Jim said. Jim ran their hand along the back of Roach’s shoulder and couldn’t find an exit wound. 

“I’m gonna have to get the musket ball out Roach, I’m sorry,” Jim said, “Can someone get me water and bandages?” 

“Here you are.” 

Olu must have anticipated that need and in a few seconds Jim had all they needed to help Roach. 

Jim cut off a little bit of the bandages and rolled it up, “Bite down on this.” Roach did so and closed his eyes as he lifted his hand for Jim to work on the wound. Roach groaned in pain and Jim worked as fast as they could. Luckily the ball was easy to find and Jim got a finger around it and managed to get it out. 

Blood rushed from the wound and Jim clamped their hand down with a barely bitten off curse. It was more blood than they expected to see and Roach looked a little ashen. 

“Keep pressure on that,” Jim thought, but not entirely in their voice. Jim felt a tingling sort of feeling on their gloved right hand like someone urging them to press harder. Jim didn’t want to hurt Roach but they also didn’t want Roach to bleed to death so Jim pressed down as hard as they could.

Jim didn’t know how long to press down for but they waited what felt like long enough then waited that amount of time twice over. After that they quickly wrapped the wound, which wasn’t bleeding as much, and hoped for the best. Roach looked pretty stable throughout the rest of the day 

Roach didn’t look any better but Jim supposed the important part was that he didn’t look any worse.

Wee John and Lucius took over looking after Roach and Jim went to help clean up on deck and keep an eye out for any other English bastards hanging around their waters. Frenchie was talking with Zheng, who looked like she was complementing Frenchie, and Pete and Olu were just finished cleaning up where Roach’s blood had spilled out on deck. 

“How is he?”

“I think he’s alright,” Jim said. 

“That looked bad for a bit there,” Pete said. 

Jim nodded, “It did, but I think he’ll pull through.” Jim gathered up some of the muskets they had used so they could work on cleaning them and getting them stored away properly. 

Jim thought about the voice they had heard and the feeling on the glove and of the feeling they had had at Izzy’s grave not long ago. 

“Thanks Izzy,” Jim said.

[unicornletters]

IDK IF YOU WRITE FOR RICKY BANES BUT RICKY BANES X READER WHERE (why did i start this in all caps) Ricky hurts the reader deeply by insulting his piracy and stuff. He makes some insensitive comment about pirates and basically insinuates that reader chose that lifestyle. ricky tries to make it up to the reader?? (while being repeatedly told to fuck off by izzy hands who is readers best friend)

I'm writing so much Ricky Banes stuff actually! I will add this to the list.

[angela-feelstoomuch]

High School Musical: The Musical: The series Masterlist (Caswen)

Laundry (1.574 words), Language: English, Rating: G

Summary: EJ had been on radio silence for the past two days, so the chat group sent Ricky to check on him. Because he lived closer to him than the rest. But that was not the whole truth. Ash lived closer, Ricky may or may not have offered to check on him. He may or may not had a little crush going on.

He hated EJ (but not really) (2.162 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: "Oh, fuck!" Ricky cried, touching his bruised ass. He hit the ground hard. “Oh shit, are you okay, Bowen?” A soft voice said over Ricky, looking literally down on him. He was offering him a helping hand. How bad could get Ricky’s luck in one morning? That was the true question. Because he crashed into EJ Caswell. The school jock. And the bane of Ricky’s existence. He hated the guy. Well… Not really. He hated how pretty he was. And how hot. And how he made Ricky want to kiss him senseless every time he saw him. Damn EJ.

How did you get flour on the floor? (1.606 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: EJ arrives home after the worst day ever. Work was shit. Collages were shit. Then they lost a client and shit hit the fan, so after a shitty day he had to spend three extra hours in the office instead of going home with his husband like he wanted to. And the car was making weird noises when he was arriving home. He should look into that in the morning. To sum it all up: his day was completely awful, and he just wanted to cuddle his husband. Maybe get lucky and have dessert in bed. The sole idea of having Ricky as dessert made his day a bit brighter.

Five years apart, one second with you (1.347 words), Language: English, Rating: G

Summary: After five years apart, the first time Ricky saw EJ Caswell, he was left speechless on how pretty and soft he looked. Leaving him on that station after two years sharing everything was the hardest thing Ricky had done in his life. And it didn’t spend a day not regretting it. The first time EJ saw Ricky Bowen he almost cried, all the feeling inside of him blooming again, like if they were seeds waiting inside of him for the spring to arrive. And it arrived, in the form of Ricky Bowen in a suit. To EJ dad’s funeral.

Stress relief (1.668 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: EJ was trying to concentrate on his biology book. He had a really important exam the next day, and Ricky came by to help him study, or at least, to give him some kind of comfort while he studied. He hated the library, but his roommate was shit, so he had to be there if he wanted some kind of peace. But EJ focus was elsewhere. Ricky was so close and looked so fucking cute with all his hair messed up. He’s sure he came to the library right after waking up, not even trying to hide the fact that he took a nap in the middle of the afternoon. The lucky bastard finished his exams two days prior, and had been chilling since then. EJ almost wanted to hate him, but he couldn’t do that. How could he?

Ricky’s guide on how to charm Dr. Caswell (WIP), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: “Mr. Bowen?” Ricky raised his hand, trying not to disturb baby Gina sleeping against his chest. Her face was scrunched up, she cried herself to sleep, poor baby. “You are next.” And then Ricky looked up, confused to see a very young and very new pediatrician standing where Dr. Mazzara should be. And he was fucking gorgeous. Damn. It should be illegal to be that pretty and be good with kids. OR: The one where Ricky is a single father and EJ is his child's pediatrician that nobody asked for but I wrote anyways.

Hey there, hot stuff! (12.585 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: 5 times Ricky was involved in a fire and 1 time he wasn't (kind of). OR: Firefighter!EJ being awkward to super cute Baker!Ricky that is always involved in crazy fire situations.

Is my baby needy today? (3.470 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: How would EJ react to him showing up half naked? Would EJ be soft with him? Nah, he doubted it. EJ in a suit was a different person from EJ in his pj’s at home. He became a shark, and Ricky was his prey. Would EJ kiss him senseless? Yeah, that was a possibility. But to be honest, Ricky always felt himself slip away when EJ kissed him, so there was a 100% chance of him getting dizzy from EJ’s kisses. Would EJ bend him over his desk? Would he fuck his face under the desk? Damn. Those two options were so good that Ricky was more than ready to cum only thinking about it. God, he was getting over-excited already.

[tokyoghoose]

am i more than you bargained for?

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x reader

playlist: heather - conan gray*, 4ever - clairo, line without a hook - ricky montgomery, melting - kali uchis, slow dancing in the dark - joji, using you - mars argo, she - ed sheeran, make you feel my love - adele, letter home - childish gambino, she's casual - the hunna, i love you so - the walters, notice me (acoustic) - role model, red dress - postcard boy

warnings: angst and lots of it, mentions of sex, mentions self-shaming of image, very breif mention of anxiety attacks

summary: a romantic comedy without the comedy between friends with benefits

announcements!

kuroo is definitely a little ooc in this lmao buuuut this is my first like fic fic in like two years. Im still trying to get back in the groove of things and finding how to write personality again and not be repetitive with my wording. Feedback is welcome!

requests are open! feel free to send them in! i will write for pretty much any anime ive seen and if i haven't seen it, ill watch it! the only reasons i wouldn't is if im uncomfortable or can't write the character. :)

——————

When did relationships become so difficult? The days of making friends on the playground were over and it seemed to hit everyone at the same age. Life was getting harder and people were getting older, and suddenly everything was difficult. Nothing came easy anymore and everyone had to adjust to that.

But now you were just confused.

Tetsuro kuroo stuck to you like glue since middle school. Where one of you went the other was likely to follow. The righthand man, the double trouble duo, and the bane of kenma's existence. And then things got complicated. Strangers to friends to best friends to lovers— friends with benefits. Who would've thought the boy that you played volleyball with on a whim would've become the man who you grew fond of. Sixth grade you would've kicked yourself for the feelings you're experiencing. Oh how you wished you were back in the park that started it all. You wished you could warn your youngerself what's to come.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks and it made you want to throw up at the thought.

It started in the first year of highschool when you suddenly noticed the shine in his eyes when he talked passionately about something like volleyball or the way he would furrow his brows when concentrated on his assignments. At first it was endearing, really. But the more you hung around him, the stronger the butterflies felt. It was obvious that he had grown into his lanky body. His legs were proportionate to his torso now and his once scrawny arms didn't hang limply at his sides anymore. He had muscle and height now. Gradually you started to notice little things about him that you would never have seen in other people. Like his lopsidded smile that crinkled the corner of his eyes and brought heat to your cheeks, your stomach launching into your chest when he'd bump shoulders and laugh.

You should've just smacked yourself silly then and there when you started to wonder if he noticed little things about you. Does he think of me like i think of him?

Who knew feelings could be so...perplexing. You moved on, shrugging off the crush in your second year to catch bigger and better fish in the sea. Life moved on and you dated other people, simply remaining friends with kuroo. Little did you know one heartbreak would lead you into his bed, playing in the sheets by the end of the year.

He was just so damn compelling. His laughter and his jokes. You fell for it all over again. Deja vu. Stupid kuroo.

———

The third of highschool had been the breaking point. It was a constant cycle of feeling, fucking, and falling in and out of love with the raven haired boy. It was frustrating, especially when he was so damn oblivious. The only person that seemed to catch on was kenma, but he was very little help when it came to pushing away the domestic thoughts. It would never just work out because you wanted it to because tetsuro was dumb.

It's a chilly day out, the sun nice against your skin but the wind was drastic in comparison. Shivers are sent up and down your spine, you wrap your arms around yourself in a hug. Could this boy take any longer? Foot tapping against the pavement, you heave a sigh, nostils flaring impatiently before you spot the tall athlete. With a girl. A girl?

You'd seen her around before and you vaguely remember thinking she resembled the main love interest in a 90s movie or a bratz doll. She's pretty and has a light, airy laugh. Kuroo must've told her a joke of some kind, but he definitely wasn't funny enough for her to have her hands all over his chest. He's giving her a toothy grin and soft eyes. It makes you want to gag.

Who was she anyway?

Not that it mattered because in that moment the fit of rage your body suddenly flug itself into prevented you from hearing anything. Kuroo's pulling off his pullover and drapping it over the pretty girl's shoulders. You can feel your eye twitch and fibgers tingle. He looks bashful as he waves her goodbye and tragically, you don't feel nearly as pretty as you had been feeling. Now all you wanted to do was sink into the ground below you and possibly into another dimension—or at least the other side of the world.

"She's pretty," is the first thing that comes out of your mouth when he comes over, slouching with his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He had practice this afternoon, you remember. He looks over at you with raised brows, almost like he's surprised yoy said anything or even noticed he was talking to another girl before walking towards the gym with you trailing close behind.

"Yeah she is, I guess."

She's prettier than me.

"You guess? Kuroo, you gave her your sweater."

He shrugs sheepishly, a light pink dusting his cheeks and it makes you mad of uncharacteristic the act is. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"It's just polyester. It's not a big deal."

The conversation suddenly drops as you pause, apparently very hurt that he didn't remember it was you who gave him the sweater in the first place. He turns around, a questioning look on his face.

"What? Are you jealous?" He teases.

You're fuming at his attempt to be playful. Maybe you were overreacting, but it pangs your chest to know he can brush it off so easily.

" Kuroo, that was my sweater. "

It's gritted through your teeth, eyes slotted into a glare and his face drops. Oh is all he can think as he stares at you and the hurt expression that quickly turns into that of annoyance and anger. You push past him, ultimately deciding not to walk him to the gym. His arm reaches out to catch you, but it falls short as he calls out in a whine, "I'll get it back for you, okay? Come on, y/n!"

———

You can't focus on the assignments in front of you no matter how hard you try. You are exsausted. Just wanting to crawl under the covers and sleep for maybe a thousand years, you stop tapping your oen against the paper to hyperfocus on the black dots that now littered the page. The music in the background pauses before coming back to life with the hum of a new song shuffling in. It's quiet and yet, it's overwhelming. You wish you weren't home alone now.

Hanging your head low on your desk, the carpet becoming of interest, you groan. The image of kuroo and that girl replaying in your head over and over like an endless movie. You'd have to give it a bad review if it ever ended.

You're focus is mainly on her though. Kuroo could get any girl he wants with his witt and charm. Not to mention he wasn't jusf handsome, but he's beautiful. Model material—movie character love interest type beat. He has the ability to make any heart swoon if he tries hadd enough, and that girl was no exception. She was more than pretty. She was stunning, even. It was like watching human barbie and ken flirt with one another. She seems so nice too and you can vaguely remember her helping you wish a couple answers on homework one morning. She's better than you and better for him. Is he sleeping with her too? Before you can answer your own question the doorbell rings, quickly followed by a knock at your door.

You look down at your pajamas, debating if you should pull on your robe or not, but ultimately deciding against it when the knocks come again.

"Im coming, I'm coming. What do you wan- kuroo?"

When you open the door, you immediately get the urge to shut it right in his perfect little face, and you begin to before his hand slams against it in protest to push it open wider. He juts out his lip into a pout and his eyes soften into ones pleading like a puppy dog. You huff and avoid eye contact, instead taking intrest in the bad he was carrying.

"What's that?"

"Stuff. I'd be happy to show you if you let me in."

"Sorry, tetsuro, no can do. You haven't returned my sweater. "

He scoffs and rolls his eyes before shoving something bulky into your arms. You're not sure if you should be happy he actually got it back or upset that he had to see her again to get it. Finally looking up at him, you move to the side so he can step in.

"You know, you don't have to be jealous that i gave another girl a sweater. You're my number one, y/n." He's teasing, but his words still send the butterflies in your stomach crazy. You can only hope he means it, even if just a little.

"I'm not jealous. You can sleep with whoever you want, kuroo. We're just best friends—if anything im your wingman. "

You want to hit yourself on the head. Why would you say that?

He snickers at the rebuttle, coming to loom over you. Apparently the only thing that can get you out of your head is his cologne because it somehow invaded your senses. He smells expensive, like nice leather and fire wood during the winter. It's very manly, you note. His shadow hovers over yours as he traps you between him and the counter with a playful smirk on his face. How smug could he get. He leans down, bringing your chin up between his thumb and finger. You hadn't realized how close he was until now. Since when did you get so nervous around him? Why did it make you nervous when he kissed you all of a sudden? It's unfair that he holds the advantage. Heat rises to your cheeks and the tips of your ears and you're positive he can hear the beating of your heart, which was currently trying to break out of your chest.

His lips take you to paradise, as always. Their soft against your own, yet firm. They're slightly chapped and they taste like spearmint. It makes your head fuzzy because they feel so right, even when you wish they felt wrong. You want to pull away and kick him out, and end thjs whole arrangement, but you're already very familiar with the fact it's just beginning.

———

The bed is warm. So warm, in fact, it feels like your suffocating. The sheets tangle around your limbs, strangling you as you tangle your limbs around kuroos. You almost want to cry, and if you were anywhere else— with anyone else —you probably would have. The heat is unbearable and the one sided tension makes your stomach churn and your throat tighten up. You were almost positve an anxiety attack was coming on.

Taking a deep breath through your nose, you close your eyes as kuroo's nimble fingers soothe circles into your shoulder blade idly and yet somehow he manages to dodge the purple and red splotches blooming on the flesh. Suddenly you wish you didn't feel so safe and protected in his embrace. The moment almost tempts you to whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but you don't deserve to be the person who does that because you aren't his person. Best friend, maybe (next to Kenma, if anything) but, you aren't his person no matter how you long to be. You're just a friend in his bed having a good time. It isn't as fun anymore.

You swallow a lump in your throat, flattening your hand against his broad chest and willing yourself to lift up out of his grasp, his fingers falling smoothly to stop between your shoulder blades. Looking down at him, he presents you with the soft, goofy look on his face that he always adorns. God, there's nothing you wouldn't give to wake up beside him every morning and kiss that lopsided grin off his face. It hurts to think about, and another wave of tears try to force their way past your lash line. You blink them away and put on a soft, one-sided smile for the man below you, giving him a quick peck where his jaw and neck meet before shrugging his hands off and climbing out of bed.

His eyes track you, lazily hooded and watching, as you take the sheet with you to cover yourself, grabbing your shorts and whatever top you were wearing but a few hours ago before everything was strewn about. You shy away from his gaze, but it's nothing he hasn't seen before. He shifts in the bed to face your back, elbow propped up to lay his head in his hand. With an uncharacteristically soft tone, you almosf don't head him when he speaks. The words that come from him are like honey, yet raw. It's enough to make anyones knees buckle and crawl back into bed.

"Are you okay?"

There's a slight hint of concern there, just hardlg scrapping the surface of the question. You nod with a hum, throwing on the loose shirt before facing him. Kuroo's brow raises like he doesn't quite believe you, but he doesn't take the question further and instead turns to get out of bed. You gnaw at your lip, taking your turn to watch him stretch out. His back has red streaks messily placed down it from his shoulders to the base, his biceps matching. His hair is messy and not like the normal bed head he sports, parts of it are spiked up from fingers constantly pushing through it, while other parts are laid flat from sweat. You can't help the thought that he's sculpted by the gods. They definitely took their time on him. Scoffing at yourself and shaking the thoughts free from your head, you head to the bathroom. As if the bed wasn't suffocating enough, just being the same room was found to be worse when he looks like that. At this point, it was preferred he stayed under the covers.

You feel stupid while looking in the mirror. Your mascara from earlier had smudged beneath your waterline, clumping together in the corner. Your nose curls at the sight, hands splashing cool water at your face, rubbing at your eyes. With a sigh you lean your elbows on the sink, pushing back hair and looking down at the water going into the drain.

This is ridiculous.

How on earth could you do this to yourself and to kuroo?

There's a knock on the bathroom door, it's light and gentle in the typical kuroo fashion because he doesn't want to spook you. You purse your lips, digging the palms of your hands into your eyes and heaving a sigh. As soon as you open the door and switch places, you're up and out of his apartment without saying goodbye.

The cool air of outside hits your face and you hadn't noticed the tears until the damp chill shook you. Brushing them away, you head home. You didn't want to be around him and you certainly didn't want to think about him. On the way back, you finally decided you weren't going to tell him anything. What would dumb tetsuro know about it anyway.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e85

Ohhhh boy here we go guys

Liam...?

I don’t

Ah

Ricky and Morty

“The chained oblivion, no big deal” Matt Plz

A dark elf floating six or seven inches from the ground. I don’t like how familiar that sounds.

[[MORE]]

28. Christ.

YOOOOO Pumats gonna fight!

BE SAFE PUMATS

or... not? xD

lol gets up on the counter because the rest of them are

He gonna heal??

He gonna... make them invisible?

NICE made my boy Cad invisible but he had still fight

Pumat looking after his fellow firbolg

I love when they panick go invisible xD

Gonna hide on the bookshelf lol Nott

Ooooo bola shot I like that

Yay bane!

This is gonna be a long slow fight

Nice job Cad, canceling that crit

Ffffuck didn’t cancel the crit fuck

93?! FUCK

NO

MATTHEW

YOU CANNOT KILL NOTT AGAIN

JFC

Oh my GOD I hate everything

Cad getting Nott back up yay!

STUNNED YEAHHHH

Not hang on Matthew STUNNED

Okay okay okay this isn’t as bad as it could be...

Banishing smite?

Oh fuck her

YAAAAS FJORD

BANISH HER TO HER HOME plane

bitch slapped her onto another plane lol

I like Cad’s little defensive stuff. He’s such an excellent support.

Also okay so aside from her high damage attacks this assassin doesn’t seem as terrible as I feared so... what’s the catch? Because something awful is def gonna happen.

PS: “that doesn’t happen every day”

Cad: “it does to us”

I’m glad she left but I do NOT like that she can just sneak up on them at any time

PS: “And now they know where I live...”

N: “You could burn down the store, start fresh?”

PS: “I like where you’re going with that, but I might wanna save that for a last option.”

Pumat has some kind of knowledge about

Pumat can MIND CONTROL?

PUMAT GONNA HELP THEM FREE HER MAYBE?

Poor Laura :(

PS: “not like you burned it down or anything.”

Free shield, nice!

Pumat is a sweet guy I love him and I’ve missed him

Freeloading their way into a short rest lol

Jester for the love of the Traveler do NOT go in there as your mom

FJORD do not encourage this

Beau assuring Jester that she supports HER just not the idea is SO sweet

JESTER oh my god

WHISPERS

Cad’s gonna know before Jester does

Ooh dear their description has gotten back to the other side of the mountains

MOAR WHISPERS

I like how they’re pulling literally everyone they know, pretty much every ally they’ve ever made into this

I’m honestly glad The Gentleman isn’t interested in getting involved. It suits his character well.

EVEN MOAR WHISPERS

Jester’s real sad

Like she really was hoping it was him

(And it still could be, we don’t know what Cad perceived)

Oh god Jester

Oh honey

Poor Jester

xD the Tal’dorea council question strikes again

Aw Jester :(

J: “but if he doesn’t want me then I don’t want him it’s fine.”

F: “....we’re glad to have you.”

J: “I’m glad to be here.”

B: “Sometimes found family is better anyway.”

Shit wait fuck

“You should tell her”

IS HE ACTUALLY HER DAD??

holy shit y’all

oh lord Nott had a crush on Caleb??

HOLY SHIT

BEAU ADMITTED SHE HAS A CRUSH ON JESTER

Oh shit the BeauJester fans have been fed tonight

Laura is laying there giggling lol

That’s super sweet that Beau is crushing on her man

I mean I’m still so BeauYasha but

Oh boy okay who is this

Oh it’s him

Oh my GOD

here we go oh god

Also what if he’s her uncle not her dad? He mentioned having a brother...

Oh my GOD HE IS HER DAD

I CANNOT BELIEVE

GENTLEMAN BACKSTORY

I can’t believe I’m having Gentleman feelings

I wanna hug him

Oh god that’s so SAD

He sounds like he still kinda loves her too HELP ME

I’m CRRYYYYING

I’m really sad man

“She loves you. You should have trusted her. I don’t know... I don’t know how you guys could make it work or anything, but... [missed]. She’s never loved anyone since. Just you.”

Operation: Get Marion and the Gentleman Back Together.

TG: “Jester I’m not your father. Any man can have a child. Any man who isn’t around to help raise them doesn’t get to call themself a father.” Owww.

I think you should tell Marion and let her decide. She hasn’t had any say in all of this, I think it’s time she did.

I cannot believe I’m so emotional about the Gentleman.

Jester has this perfect little fairy tale for her parents and I’m literally just sitting here crying you guys

J: “Hey dad, next time I’m in town? Let’s play some Uno.” Crying and laughing and crying.

I stg if he and Marion don’t get their happy ending I’m gonna be SAD

Time to go after Yasha?

Oh dear...

Okay though if it’s addressed to Nott the Brave it’s not from Astrid

Maybe it’s from Caliana or someone again

The looks all the others are wearing

Like Beau’s face

This recording thing couldn’t possibly backfire at all xD

These hijinks omg

I can’t handle it first I’m worried then I’m emotional/crying about Jester and now I’m cracking up

Oh no oh god

Don’t hurt Pumat Sol Matthew I will not forgive you

oh my GOD MATT that PAUSE

Oh my god wait their lie somehow WORKED??

So she lives in Trent’s little compound essentially.

“Oh god it’s her” lol oh Pumat

I love him man he’s a soft boy

Oh dear...

Caleb getting overwhelmed mid trying to plan was excellent I love that call Liam

WHAT

PUMAT IS GONNA TRAVEL WITH THEM?

No no no what if he dies??

DO NOT GET MY COW MAN KILLED

it’s so sweet that he offered I ADORE HIM

I can’t believe he just straight up planned to come with them he was already packed

Like all these othe powerful allies are like “I’ll look into things while y’all do the actual dangerous work” and Pumat Sol is the one who decides he’s going to come and help

We stan two (2) cow men and they are Caduceus Clay and Pumat Sol

I’m really nervous about this though like heading to Rexentrum? Are they ready for this? Is CALEB ready for this??

Oh no Krynn attack that’s bad

I hope it’s not the Krynn

Call Essek find out

Oh god if they help stop the Krynn tho and it gets back to Xhorhas somehow

They’ll never see Essek again and I will CRY

I’m suuuuuper worried about Caleb

Like SUPER concerned look at his face he’s not at all prepared for this

This is definitely a false alarm there are no Krynn

Oh fuck what if Obann is coming for this Colbalt Soul

I am anxious

Go back down Caleb!

Why would you not go back up with the others

Nott, Nott HONEY

Not now!

It’s not the Krynn I will eat my hat if it’s really the Krynn

“Angel’s Eye” oh no

Cardinal Respa?

How far does this conspiracy spread I wonder

“The thing below and the path to it” fuck

“Diversions are already in place” knew it

Oh fuck

Pelor, the temple of the dawn father?

Oh shit they spent so much time in the happy fun ball that the timeline is messed up and this is happening NOW

Fuuuuuck

Oh god they are in it now

Like man even having warned so many allies it’s too late it’s happening NOW

I thought I was stressed last week but nope

Love you too Matt

IS IT NEXT THURSDAY YET?!

This episode in a nutshell: fighting an (immortal?) assassin; Jester’s dad; mail hijinks; TIME TO STOP THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD