#right now i just have to wait for our one (1) hour of hot water we're granted per day

[tardis--dreams]

God i really hope they don't throw all my stuff out of my room and rip my floor open and take away my bathroom tomorrow. That would piss me off really really bad

[apocalypse-shuffle]

JASON TODD | RED HOOD (batman:under the red hood | canon divergence?)

—

“Co-opt #1 - Fire Escape Rendezvous 1/?” (Jason Todd x Fem!Reader)

| You’d thought the man you were talking to was just uninterested and biding his time. That is until one thoroughly fucked up Red Hood falls from the sky early one morning and becomes a more pressing issue.

| SFW, serious injury, drugged & mentally compromised, late night conversations, idealogical debate, canon typical violence, mentions & descriptions of death/killing, -panicked!reader

| pics via: Batman: Under The Red Hood tpb

| content apart of the co-opt series

| 2k+ words

Beg. NOTES: This first chapter is a lot of establishing the universe and background information, so yeah.

‘I officially live in hell,’ you think idly over the crackle of the television and the almost imperceptible sound of your electric kettle boiling water.

One emergency evacuation of the mall, a slew of bomb threats, city wide shelter in place, and a mandated curfew had surely elevated the power struggle between Black Mask and the Red Hood to the top of the Gang War Hall of Fame.

If such a cursed thing existed, anyway.

“In recent news the fight seems to have traveled from the docks to the outskirts of the Narrows. Unfortunately there is still no sign of Batman and our eyes in the sky have once again lost the two battling criminals.”

Great. The man let you all take a collective breath a year after fucking off to who knows where just to restart the clock right after the final exhale. There was always a bomb - metaphorical or otherwise - about to go off in the city anyway, why not add another?

Your teeth worry at your lip. You haven’t heard anything yet, no gunshots or yelling - like Gotham herself was holding her breath in wait for the destruction they would wrought - so you’d been able to ignore the anchor trying to lodge itself in your gut, but now that you knew they were close?

Your teeth leave an indent in your bottom lip and running the top of your tongue over the bite mark only serves to make the area pulse more, not soothe it. You make a low sound, eyes rolling.

Honestly if you had done what you were supposed to last week you likely wouldn’t even be up to worry yourself to death currently. As it stands you’d had an assignment due roughly fifteen minutes ago, so from the second the telltale siren of the Gotham Emergency Network’s warning sounded from your phone you’d been hyped up.

Watching it buzz on the table beside your laptop had made your stomach drop. Like the split second where you start thinking up your funeral rites after missing a step on the stairs.

Even now, looking out at the wayward streaks of moonlight peaking through your curtains to splay onto your living room floor, your mind twits itself where it doesn’t belong.

Admittedly, a split second after the first buzz, right before your phone cried out that the city was once again on fire, you’d thought it was the guy you’d been seeing. Heavy emphasis on ‘been’.

Rising panic aside you’ve been throwing little looks at it for hours now. The colored bubble around your words hasn’t left your head; it meets you seared on the underside of your eyelids every time you blink.

You:

Hey we haven’t talked in a hot minute and I was trying to call to tell you this btw but I'd like to break the whole arrangement we have now off. We don't want the same shit I guess.

You’d gotten nothing short of the ‘unseen’ marker under your message changing to ‘seen’ for your effort. So, now here you were worrying over ten hours later about a guy that couldn’t even be bothered to respond to you breaking up with him.

“Well that’s enough of that,” you sigh, turning off the tv and walking over to your kitchenette. Did you still have anything left over in your fridge that you liked? A pick me up sounded good, especially if you were planning on worrying yourself into an early grave all night.

It was uncouth honestly. At least Batman contained his messes. Hood had managed to knock crime down in The Alley by 60% the last time he was at large, you’ve seen the reports, but starting a city wide dick measuring contest with Black Mask was only dragging everybody through their shit. You couldn’t exactly say you endorsed his current plan of action.

Now to the fridge. The contents of which make you frown.

Fan-tastic.

Swooping down a little more to catch a possible glimpse of anything other than the food stains clinging desperately to the floor of the bottommost fridge shelf, your eyes narrow. Your tongue clicks harshly in the quiet when you thump it against the back of your top teeth.

If you really let yourself think about it, the fact he hadn’t even bothered to answer grated like a snagged scab. Oh!

There was some leftover spam that’d been pushed back into a corner of the middle shelf — bad as it was for your mood you couldn’t help but pick at his lack of answer. Etching away at your thoughts on the man in tiny barely noticeable increments — you’d only missed the meat on your initial scan because of the box of leftover pancake mix shamelessly in front of it. You snatch up both items, shoving them into the bend of your non-searching arm.

Another click of your tongue; more picking.

There was no way he could just leave you on ‘read’. You broke up with him, that’s not just something you leave somebody on goddamn ‘read’ for.

Only a nanosecond’s worth of pain, of worry for what uncovering more could make come pouring out, before the rush started to fade and you couldn’t help but pull on the scab harder. Till you felt your brows furrow all over again.

What were you? Just a way to pass the time?

A dog's rapid fire barking sounds from outside and your head pops up, looking over the fridge door, head on a swivel and eyes wide. The way rabbits go; blood frozen and breath held.

A beat passes where you just listen. When no signs of further disturbance occur though your blood warms, your air puffs out of you, and you can move again.

If you ever saw Red Hood you’d kick him in the dick (except you really wouldn’t, you weren't crazy). You snap open the bottom drawer only for your lip to instantly curl, unfortunately not cause of the game of hide and seek your fridge was playing with you. Hood would deserve it though, and so would another man that was embarrassingly still on your mind tonight.

Peppers. How did you forget you had those? They join your arm stash with a few rough movements.

Maybe you shouldn’t even be surprised. Jason was great - a little testy, but who in this city wasn’t? He was definitely still the best person you’ve dated since high school, though only so far as he was paying attention to you.

The constant “work” calls he had to excuse himself for you’re half convinced were actually his main woman calling or some other jumbled theory. If there was one thing you could do it was reach, but it was more so just the real world applications of creativity in your opinion.

Point was Jason was - had been - nice to call yours for however brief a moment. Even now thinking about him had your body doing an odd combination of being close to legitimate tears over an eight month relationship and the nonstop tremble that tended to come with the hot sensation of shame crawling up your neck.

Was it embarrassing to be this hung up on a white boy you’d barely known for a year?

Kind of, yeah.

Eight goddamn months and you were so caught up on the man you couldn’t snatch the random ingredients out of your fridge without a slight tremor in your hands, and an incessant barrage of curses that weren’t gonna stop going through your mind anytime soon that was for sure. That fucking asshole.

It wasn’t even like you actually cared anyway, it was whatever. Jason was whatever.

With a heavy sigh you straighten from your crouch and move to drop everything on the counter.

Jason was cool enough half the kids in your complex flocked to guilt him into giving them some cash when he came over, and he’d play along like he himself was getting paid for it every single time. He volunteered all over the ‘rougher’ parts of Gotham, and he was from The Alley so he got the city - plus you were a sucker for that Bowery accent, what could you say? Sounds good right? Downright perfect? Yeah well, Jason also didn’t talk, but not in the way that meant he couldn’t hold a good conversation.

You grin a little, unaware of the action, while walking over to pull out a chopping board and knife to wash. You didn’t have much, but fritters didn’t sound half bad and would take thirty minutes tops for you to put to a pan.

Once, you’d both spent hours arguing how The Thing as an adaptation was actually better than Who Goes There? while he harped that you inherently couldn’t separate the adaptation from the book like that: “Everything genuinely interesting about the movie came from the book. The movie quite literally wouldn’t exist without it.”

The conversation had lasted long enough for you to fall asleep on him - a song and dance that quickly became habit for you two; by now your FaceTime has seen many a squished drooling face - but Jason never once revealed anything personal. Not truly.

Not ever.

There’s a harsh crash from below, and that damn dog bellowing again. You take a second to glare at your window before focusing back on the task at hand.

It was a hard thing to catch, the sidestepping, but you weren’t that clueless. Jason didn’t have a middle name - which is fine, that was normal - but that wasn't all. Jason also had an undisclosed job that was always interrupting your time together. Said undisclosed job that paid him so much he could opt to get a hotel rather than let you go to his place - godforbid - every time you didn’t want to meet up at your house for the fiftieth time. You got it when your relationship was new, but nearly a year in?

Both his parents were dead, but sometimes if you called him and it was early enough he’d say something offhanded and mean about his father like he was still alive.

And Jason was fine - he was always fine - but you’d asked him to ‘just trust you’ once and his eyes had gone hard before his entire expression went flat and the date had ended there, it didn’t matter that he hadn’t physically left. Afterwards he’d avoided you for nearly a week and only convinced you to stay once he finally came back around by offering to let you beat his ass if it’d make you feel better.

Even as flabbergasted by the offer as you’d been, it'd worked and you two were back to business as usual within the same hour - no violence needed.

Before that you’d honest to goodness been contemplating going to ask him for his forgiveness for whatever it was you’d apparently done wrong. You’d been so scared he’d leave you you’d been ready to apologize for a problem that wasn’t even communicated to you.

Something that was pretty sad now that you were thinking about it so you were gonna stop now.

Point is it was getting embarrassing, even for you. Contemplating stooping that low for someone who couldn’t be fucked to give you an actual explanation after ghosting you that first time, let alone one that couldn’t even put a name to what the two of you were, was a waste of your time.

You could do better than Jason fucking Peterson that was for damn sure.

A sigh rattles through your chest as you shake out your knife, water droplets falling all over you and the counter in the process. Which—

You turn your head to look at your kettle sitting pretty on the side table closest to the window - you only had so much counter space, okay?

Tea sounded nice right now. You squint at the kettle with a frown. You could’ve sworn you’d had that same thought a while ago. Sure enough when you look a little harder it’s already been filled with water. You were that deep in your head for real? Enough to miss the shrill peeping your kettle let loose to announce that your water was effectively boiled?

“Wow.” You look up, shoulders rising and dropping with more flourish than necessary. “I need a nap,” you grumble and push away from where you’ve got the least wilted peppers and your leftover meat diced.

The kettle clicks back on with a quiet beep, the batter that you completely disregarded the instructions for cause you didn’t have eggs or milk is mixed, and you’re in your third fold to incorporate all the food together when a sharp BANG reverberates somewhere below your flat.

It’s a painful sounding pang that makes you flinch; spoon clattering to the imitation granite with a wet plop. The noise sets off the stray dog worse than before and you’re dropping like a cracked brick flat to the floor, heart hammering in conjunction with the animal’s startled barks.

You're high enough up from wherever the loud noise came from that your window doesn’t so much as rattle, but close enough that the breath shakes out of you with no less resistance than if it were physically being squeezed from you, and your palms tremble against the peel and stick tile your landlord insists is authentic.

You couldn’t—

A gunshot rings out in the definitely too close distance and you flinch.

“Fuck,” you rush out.

The curse you gasp out is unintelligible even to your own ears as you shake against the floor. The bang feels like deadweight vibrating through your bones. Like a presence squeezing at your lungs. There were protocol’s for this, you knew it, but you were just—

The sound of metal rattling harsh and fast meets your ears and this time your window does shake. You look up in what feels like slow motion, dread burning a hole through your stomach. A thump and subsequent end to the rattling freezes you in your tracks.

No way that didn’t come from your fire escape.

Fuck.

You knew one day it’d be Gotham that facilitated your demise, but right after a breakup? That was cruel even by the city’s standards.

Just your damn luck too that whoever was out there skipped three other peoples perfectly presentable fire escapes for yours.

You worry at your lip, eyeing the window behind your sheer curtains for anything unusual. Nothing immediately jumps out to you, just what you can see of the night from the upper mouth of the alleyway you’re in front of and the very top of your guard railing. Your suspiciously un-obscured guard railing.

Without really thinking you pull yourself up to your hands and knees. Your knees ache uncomfortably from your fall and your arms are weak at the elbows, threatening to send you careening face first into the floor, but you crawl forward anyway.

See, you liked to think you were smart. It was one of those things that was nearly a prerequisite in Gotham, even if The Hill was becoming less outwardly dangerous as more of the rich guys looking for cheap real estate forced their ways in. Still, the changes were only recent and - most importantly - a thinly veiled façade.

Crime was still crime no matter how pretty the buildings it took place in or around were.

Regardless, you thought you were smart, but now here you are easing up to your window like a reckless idiot with a death wish. If you were any less shaken up maybe you’d be running out your door - false alarm be damned - or you’d be thinking about calling the police at the very least.

Even in your haze you snort quietly to yourself. As if. At best they’d show up too late, The Hill was so far from everything that police response was shit on a ‘good’ day, let alone when every cop was out falling over themselves in their search for Mask and Hood, so you know you wouldn’t’ve bothered even if your stomach wasn’t currently trying to turn itself inside out.

The floor is cool under your palms and you let out a shaky breath. Elbows aching and knees starting to chafe because of how slow you were moving. You shift to list yourself to the side - alleviate the pain hindering your common sense - only to have it knocked right back into you when you overbalance and fall into the back of your couch.

“Oof,” you huff, noise forced from your chest.

Hands fly up to cover over your mouth, your eyes widening.

The seconds spent sprawled out on the floor give you time to think, at the very least, as you try to catch your breath as silently as possible.

No one would be rescuing you. The police weren’t coming - not that you really wanted their help anyway, your parents had moved to Camden last year, and you’d never even seen Batman in person. If you kept being stupid you’d be well and truly fucked.

Christ, you were mental. What the hell did you think you were gonna do - confirm to whoever was out there that you were home and then fight them off the fire escape yourself?

Somewhere in the ether someone was probably revoking your black card all now.

Retracing your steps backwards while still keeping mum wasn’t the easiest feat with your horrible balance and shaky limbs but you’re managing just fine - even grabbing your phone along the way. That you almost forgot it in the first place you ignore for now, the door and your shoes right beside it are too close for you to jeopardize your goal—

Beep beep beep beep…!

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! It has officially been two years to the day since I posted my first fic on this blog!!!!!

❤︎

Okaaaay, I am very nervous about finally posting this but it’s been nearly two years in the making so hopefully it’s not terrible. Could I have waited to write this until I was a better writer and all my personal thoughts were fully fleshed out? Sure, but there’s no time like the present and I can always rewrite this! This’ll hopefully be a long ride so I’m excited.

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it!

—

Also, feedback would be lovely, but be nice please, goddamn. Was the first chapter unengaging considering Jason’s not in it? Was it in any way confusing or hard to follow the Reader-Insert’s thought process throughout, specifically during the back and forth where she’s thinking about Jason and about what she’ll cook and shit?

[wosoragebaiter69]

double wham

patri guijarro x fem!reader

request: here

A/N: only 1 post tonight 😔 sorry guys, been busy with work and this was surprisingly hard to write… so it’s short, sorry anon

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*NOT PROOFREAD*

Today is the day that I finally propose to my girlfriend. We’ve been dating for 4 years and it’s been the absolute best of my life. It seemed fitting because the whole team is going out on a hike through the mountains, so not only will it be scenic but it will also be in front of our other teammates.

I’ve already told Frido, Lucy and Mapi. Who probably told others in the process. So most of the team likely know my plan. The only thing I don’t have control over is the answer Patri gives. I know she’ll probably say yes but I can’t help but feel nervous.

Little did I know.

Patri and I arrive together, as per usual and she immediately goes to sit with Claudia. Again nothing unusual. I go and sit down next to Lucy who has a massive grin on her face.

“Jesus Lucy, I haven’t even asked yet.” I lean over, whispering in a hushed tone.

“Ohhh, I know. Can’t wait to see her reaction.” I squint my eyes, she knows something.

I shrug it off, plugging in my headphones, ready for the hour bus ride we have to make before getting to our destination.

- - - - -

Once we arrive, Mapi pats me on the back before going to annoy Ingrid about something. I make my way to find Patri, interlocking my fingers with her own. Too focused on my own nerves, I fail to see hers.

We start the trek, observing the views of the city and other wildlife around the place. Taking photos every so often. The weather is nice, not too hot and cool enough so that when we do sweat it’s a cooling feeling.

After an hour or so, we make it to the top. The views are absolutely gorgeous as the city is lit up by the glowing sun. In the distance, I can see the bay. The water glistening even from so far away.

(side note why tf do i keep rhyming things help)

This is the moment. I have to ask, so I pull Patri aside and make her sit down. We’re away from most of the others but the views do not miss.

“So what is it?” She asks, slightly nervous.

“Well I… We’ve been dating for quite a while and I thought, there’s no one else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, soo.” I pause, pulling the box out of my bag.

“Will you marry me?” I ask.

I watch as her smile grows, and she starts laughing slightly.

“What’s so funny?” I smile, confused.

“Because, I was going to ask you the same thing.” She then proceeds to pull out her own box with a ring. Now it’s my turn to laugh.

“Oh God!” I yell into her shoulder, tears streaming out of my eyes.

“Well, I’ll put the ring I got on you, vice versa.” She nods and I take the ring out of the box, placing it delicately on her finger. It’s clear it suits her so well, even if my bank account cried for days. I’m assuming hers did as well.

Because when that ring is put on my finger, all I can think about is how right this feels. To the point I start crying.

“What’s wrong amor?” She wipes the tears away.

“Nothing, this just feels so right. I love you so much bebé” Her hands are on my face still, and she pulls me in for a long kiss.

When it’s done, realisation dawns upon me.

“Wait… do you think all the girls knew? I told Lucy, Frido and Mapi who probably told others and if you told people that means-“ Her eyes also go wide.

“True, very true. How about we go show them ah?” I nod and we get up walking toward everyone else.

“WE’RE GETTING MARRIED BITCHES!” Patri screams.

Most of them respond with the same energy, but all I can think about is how lucky I am to have someone like Patri. Someone I love so deeply.

[chiriwritesstuff]

'Love, Joel'- a 'The Girl in IT' Companion Piece - Pt. 1 - 'The Tornado Watch'

A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter Preview: "Joel?" your voice calls out, followed by a knock on his window. "What the hell are you doing here? The news issued a tornado watch. You shouldn't be here," you say, frowning. Despite your concern, Joel can't help but smile at the sight of you. Your hair is tied into a messy bun on the top of your head, and your oversized sleep shirt falls off one shoulder. If you weren't frowning at him, he swears the mere sight of you would knock him off his feet. His hands itch to reach out to you, pulling you into his truck so he can kiss that frown off of your face, wishing you a good morning. He imagines his fingertips grazing the skin of your bared shoulder, pressing a kiss on your skin as your head tilts in pleasure-

Chapter Warnings and Tags: Strong language, Joel is an idiot who disregards weather warnings, please be smart and shelter if caught in a tornado warning!, no beta we die like men!

Word Count: 2K

A/N: ... and here it is! Part 1 of my 500 Follower Celebration, 'Love, Joel'- a look behind the 10 years of Joel's pining for our favorite girl in IT, Sugar. I thought it would be really fun to see what happened in the span of those 10 years, where Joel worked his ass off trying to feel worthy of our girl! Thank you so much for all of the love and support you all have given me and this little fic of mine, words can't describe just how much it all means to me!

Remember when Sugar asked Joel about the moment he realized he was in love with her and he mentioned something about a Tornado Watch? This is that story.

The National Weather Service in Austin/San Antonio has issued a Tornado Watch for Travis County until 5pm... please do not attempt to leave and find shelter-

"Dad, are you serious?" Sarah's voice echoes through the phone in disbelief. "The entire campus is on lockdown, and I'm stuck in a basement with 50 other panicked girls. Why in the world are you heading to work?"

"The weather lady mentioned it's just a tornado watch, not a warning," Joel defends.

Sarah sighs on the other end of the line. "I really think you should turn around and head back home, you know, like a rational human being."

"Can't do that. The project is already behind, and I can't afford for it to fall even further behind. Plus, I owe Tommy money for all the overtime he's been putting in," Joel explains, a touch of frustration evident in his voice. "I'm already in hot water with the client as it is. You know how it is, baby girl."

"I'm pretty sure this client of yours is sitting comfortably in their own shelter in that big house of theirs. The actual nerve—"

"Sarah, I get it, okay? The moment it escalates to a warning, I'll come down from the roof and join them in that cushy shelter, okay?" Joel reassures, attempting to ease Sarah's concerns.

"Promise?" she asks softly, and Joel envisions the hint of a frown in her voice. "Or else I won't come home over the weekend."

"You're going to come back home this weekend?" Joel's spirits lift, a grin playing on his face as he heads towards the job site.

"Promise me, Dad!"

"Cross my heart," he assures, turning into the driveway. "Need a ride, or you're good to make it back yourself?"

"I think I can handle an hour drive." She replies with a small chuckle. "I don't have a good feeling about this, but be safe, okay? I love you."

"Love you too, baby girl. Go shelter with the other girls now, ok?"

"Ok dad, bye."

"Bye," he says absentmindedly, the phone already disconnected after Sarah hangs up.

Joel turns off the ignition, a deep sigh escaping from his chest. He gazes into the distance, the burden of the tornado watch weighing heavily on him. He should be at home right now, preparing by filling water bottles, checking for enough batteries for lanterns and flashlights, tuning into the television for weather updates, and patiently waiting out the storm.  

Instead, echoes of his client's disappointed voice from yesterday's confrontation linger in Joel's mind, questioning why a 'simple roof repair' is stretching beyond the agreed-upon month.

"I paid you good money and took a chance on you, and you can't even deliver..."

What haunts him more is the image of you in the background, concern etched across your face.

"Dad, you can't blame him for the crappy weather we've been having! Of course, the project would be delayed," you try to reason, awkwardly placing a hand on your father's shoulder in an attempt to soothe his frustration.

"Is it your money that's paying for your mistake?" your father snaps back, shrugging off your hand. "Or do we need to revisit why you thought mounting an antenna on the roof was a brilliant idea? Who do you think you are, concerning yourself in an adult conversation?" he chides, crossing his arms. "Go back inside and help your mother with breakfast!"

Offering Joel a weak smile, you nod, turning back towards the house. Joel smiles back, the sight of your concerned face pulling at his heartstrings. His hands itch to push the errant stray hair away from your face, his hands grazing the softness of your skin spanning across your face-

"Well? What are you doing just standing there?" your father snaps. "Don't you have a roof to fix?"

Just a few more days, Joel. You can do this, he reassures himself. He idles in the car for a bit, observing the darkening grey sky.  At least Sugar should be home, maybe she'll keep me company...

"Joel?" your voice calls out, followed by a knock on his window. "What the hell are you doing here? The news issued a tornado watch. You shouldn't be here," you say, frowning.

Despite your concern, Joel can't help but smile at the sight of you. Your hair is tied into a messy bun on the top of your head, and your oversized sleep shirt falls off one shoulder. If you weren't frowning at him, he swears the mere sight of you would knock him off his feet. His hands itch to reach out to you, pulling you into his truck so he can kiss that frown off of your face, wishing you a good morning. He imagines his fingertips grazing the skin of your bared shoulder, pressing a kiss on your skin as your head tilts in pleasure-

"Hello? Are you even listening to me?" your concerned voice cuts through his reverie, snapping him back to the present. "Go home, Joel. I'm sure Sarah is worried sick-" you bite your lower lip, your lips wobbling a tiny fraction. "-and I don't want you stuck here if things take a turn for the worse," you insist, a hint of worry in your eyes. 

Joel opens his truck door, shaking his head. "No can do, Sugar. You heard your dad yesterday; I need to finish this job and get out of y'all's hair. I've already overstayed my welcome." 

"I don't give a fuck what my father says, he's just being difficult as fucking usual. He's already up in arms fussing around about the watch, i'm pretty sure he's not concerned whether or not you'll show up or not," you say defiantly, frustration flushing your face. "I swear, if you don't go home, I'll force you to shelter with me!"

Well, Joel muses, the corner of his mouth rising in a smirk.  Now that's an idea I wouldn't be opposed to-

"I'm a big boy, Sugar. It's just a tornado watch, no need to worry about little ol me, okay?" he smiles, cupping your cheek.  Fuck, her skin is soft-

you lean into his touch, your eyes closing in resignation.  

"Okay Joel," you whisper, your hand meeting his.  "The moment Nancy over at KXAN mutters anything about a tornado warning, I'm climbing up that fucking ladder myself and dragging your ass to shelter, okay?"

Joel gives your face a small squeeze. "Deal."

A few hours later, as Joel continues on working on the roof over your bedroom, you stick your head out of your window, calling out to him. "Joel? The news said that a lightning storm is going to be rolling in soon. I think it's time you should head out-"

Joel stops hammering a shingle, steadying himself as he peers at you from the roof. "I just have a few more shingles to go-"

Your eyes narrow in irritation. "Joel, no. Get your ass off of the roof this instant!"

"Baby-" he breathes, kicking himself for letting the endearment he calls you in his dreams from leaving his lips. "I can't afford to lose this job, your dad is already pissed as it is-"

Your face contorts into something resembling sadness, and if he focuses on your face hard enough, he swears he sees the tears forming on the corner of your eyes. If it were a different time, in a different place, where Sarah's mother's body replaced yours, he would imagine he wouldn't even be having this conversation, having been forced to brave worse conditions before.

"How am I going to expect to survive if you don't go into work?" she would spit, shaking her head and glaring at him as Sarah wails in her booster seat at the table in the background. "It's bad enough that you basically trapped me, do you need to be here to make sure I stay? What's a little lighting storm gonna do to you, huh Joel? We need to eat!"

"Trapped you?!" he replies angrily, his hands clenching, knuckles white. "I didn't force you to stay, it's not like you're happy to be here!" He motions over to Sarah, his eyes narrowing. "Our daughter is crying out for you and you can't even be assed to comfort her!"

"I don't want to do this right now, just go Joel. You think about your attitude while you work in the storm!" she shouts, harshly grabbing Sarah from her seat and slamming their bedroom door.  

It was her cruelty and selfishness that turned Joel off from dating and finding someone else, the weight of her absence proving to be a heavy burden on him as a single father once their divorce was finalized. Sure, there were women, attractions, and occasional one-night stands, but nothing more than that. Joel could count on one hand just how many women, in the last twenty years, had stayed the night, and to be completely honest with himself, it didn't bother him in the least. He had Sarah to raise and raise right, a wayward, careless brother he had to bail out of jail when he drank just a little too much, and a business to run. He didn't have time for casual, and he didn't have the desire for anything long term. Things were going great, even if his business was barely off of the ground and he was starting to slowly swim into the depths of debt. He didn't need to add anyone else into the equation.

And then you came along.

... with your fucking smile and your bright eyes and the way that you laugh - with your entire body - as he cracks a dad joke so bad he could feel Sarah cringing all the way from her college dorm room. How instead of living your life and being a twenty-something doing something fun with friends, you would rather spend your time with him, sitting on the edge of your windowsil asking him about anything and everything, genuninely interested in what he had to say. How you would bravely climb up his ladder even if you shared that you're afraid of heights to pass him a water bottle, concerned about potential heat stroke. He wasn't used to anyone besides Sarah or Tommy fretting over him, he wasn't prepared to be completely overwhelmed by your sudden presence in his life. He wasn't looking for anyone, and yet-

You took his breath away like a hurricane, and he finds himself ready to be swept away by you and you alone.  

"Joel!" you shout suddenly from below him, your foot already on his ladder as you brace yourself, the tears flowing freely down the slopes of your cheeks. "Please, Joel, just come down! It isn't funny anymore!"

"Sugar! just stay down there, let me just finish, it'll only be five more-"

"NO!" you scream, the sight of your tears making him halt in place. "Stop FUCKING AROUND, JOEL!" you cry, shaking your head in defiance.

Joel drops his hammer and quickly jumps on the ladder, skipping a rung as he hurriedly makes his way to you. "I'm coming baby, just hold on!" he yells as he descends, the need of your body in his arms too strong to deny.  

"You fucking idiot!" you shout, practically barreling into him as his feet touch the ground. His arms instinctively wrap around your shaking form, your small fists beating on his chest as you sob into it, your tears soaking flannel. "What were you thinking, risking your life like that? No one is worth you risking your life for some fucking roof!"

Joel cradles your head as he places a soft kiss on your hair, his hand rubbing your back as he tries to settle you.

"You're wrong, you know" he whispers, his eyes closing as he tightens his hold on you harder. "There is someone risking my life for," he breathes, his mind coming into a realization.

I fucking love you, Sugar, he thinks, biting his tongue from saying it out loud as he loses himself in your embrace, wishing that the moment would never end.  I can die right here and die a happy man, he muses.  Just as long as I get to hold you like this. 

One day, he thinks.  One day I'll be able to tell you this out loud.

[strongheartneteyam]

I wish I could

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!curvy!human reader

CW: mentions of sexual fluids and sex itself, fluff, angst, pregnancy symptoms such as throwing up (maybe you shouldn't read if you find that too gross)

I'm really insecure about this chapter I guess I'm just thinking "Oh no but a human couldn't conceive a baby with a na'vi no way" but you know what this is MY avatar AU so it doesn't have to be completely canon I'm just a crazy perfectionist please forgive my madness guys 🥲 Anyway, it's just kind of a transitional chapter with some fluff and important stuff happening at the same time if makes any sense ?? I'll shut up now hope u like this 🤡

The words in italic are the translation of something said in na'vi previously.

Chapter 5

♡

Chapter 4

After Neteyam made love to you, he kissed your forehead, grabbed your hand and took you to the nearest river and cleaned you up. Your sex and thighs were all covered with his semen and you were all sweaty. Your body was still hot from what happened previously so you got shivers when your feet touched the cold water. But it was a good sensation. The Pandora waters were always so fresh and amazingly blue. It was such a sight to see.

When the both of you were deep into the river, the water covering you until your waist but it only getting to the middle of Neteyam's thighs, he started to use his hand to wash his seed off of you. You started to laugh 'cause the movements his hand was making were ticklish.

"Stop that, skxawng." (moron), he said laughing "Lemme clean you up fast 'cause it's getting close to the eclipse. Our parents will be waiting for us to reunite with the people for dinner."

"Eywa! You're right! I completely forgot about it."

Neteyam clicked his tongue "My beautiful airhead." He slapped your head slightly, not enough to hurt you, just to tease you, making you look at him with a wide smile in your lips. He was the most perfect being you had ever seen. You couldn't believe he was yours. His fangs hanging out of his mouth when he smiled back at you were so cute and sexy at the same time. You knew he could use his sharp teeth to rip someone's throat open but he would only use them to protect you.

After you were ready, Neteyam took a quick bath in the river waters and then you guys headed to the tribe. He was holding your hand and helping you so you didn't trip on any twigs fallen on the floor as you guys needed to walk fast because it was getting dark and dangerous in the Pandora forests. Your parents would be so worried if you two didn't show up soon to meal time.

You felt your cheeks blush when you walked into the sea of na'vi and a few humans reunited around the bonfire, eating their fruits and meat already. You couldn't wash away from your head that only 1 or 2 hours before you were moaning while Neteyam mated with you in the middle of the forest. Eywa, what if you guys had been caught? What if, Eywa forbid, Jake or Neytiri walked into you having sex with their son while they were hunting? You wanted to die just thinking about it.

You and Neteyam were no longer holding hands but you two were walking side by side.

He smiled at you and said "See you later?"

"I don't know. It's getting close to sleep time but maybe we'll talk a bit after dinner?" You said

He only moved his head down slightly in response, still smiling, not showing teeth, and headed to his family. You had just noticed Jake was looking at the both of you, a serene look in his face. You wondered if he was just looking at you two or if he knew something was up.

You knew Jake liked you a lot and he was a father figure to you, since your biological father had died and your na'vi mother, Ao'ite, lost her mate long ago, before you were even born. He died together with many other na'vi in a battle against the Sky People. You wondered how many na'vi had cried over a deceased loved one who was killed by humans. You hated your own species and was ashamed of being one of them. But you reminded yourself of something Jake would always tell you, since you were a child:

"You're one of us, little one. It doesn't matter what your biology is. You live like us, you love and respect our land, you speak our language and pray to Eywa. You're just as much na'vi as I am. Don't forget I once had a human body like yours." He said, sitting down on his heels to look better at your small human child frame and touching your chin slightly, making you smile and say "Thank you, Jake. I'm not sad anymore. If you say I am a na'vi, then I believe you."

He smiled big at you and you went running back to Ao'ite, who took you in her arms, wrapped your legs around her waist, her hands below your thighs and mouthed "Thank you" to Jake. He only motioned his head down a bit, smiling slightly at her.

But even knowing Jake loved you as if you were one of his own children, you still wondered what he would think about Neteyam choosing you as his mate. Would he be against it because you were a human? What about Neytiri? Would she be okay with it? Their eldest son was soon to become the next Olo'eyktan. He was being trained by his father almost everyday. Maybe his parents would think it's better for him to mate with a good na'vi girl. And you knew he would have plenty of options if he wanted to. You weren't blind to the way so many na'vi girls looked at Neteyam. And they were all so pretty and skilled. And the most important part was; they could give Neteyam children. You felt your heart ache.

You realized you were still standing in the same spot Neteyam left you. Swiftly you started walking towards your mom. She had a worried look on her face.

"Are you alright, my child?" Ao'ite asked as you sat down next to her

"I'm okay, mom. I was just lost in my thoughts." You said smiling at her and taking a reddish small fruit into your hand and taking a bite out of it

"I noticed you came to meal time with Neteyam. What were you guys doing that you both arrived here late, together?"

You almost choked on your fruit when you heard her saying that. There was something about mothers, it didn't matter if they were human or na'vi, but they always knew when you were up to something.

"I was just listening to music in the forest, in a safe place, away from dangerous animals, as you taught me, and Neteyam found me there and decided to stay with me for a while. You know he likes to listen to music from Earth with me. I always tell you how happy I get when he turns out to like a song that's one of my favorites." You said, hoping your mother would believe you and wouldn't ask anything further.

She looked away from you with a serious look in her face, taking another piece of meat from the big leaf laid on the floor and said:

"I know you feel something more for the Sully's son than just friendship."

You looked at her surprised and said:

"Y-you do?" With wide eyes and red cheeks

"Ma (y/n). I'm an old na'vi woman. I can tell when a young girl is in love. Don't forget I once was around your age and fell for your father." She smiled

She used to refer to her late mate as your father, even though you never met him but you heard many stories of how great a warrior he was. And you knew he was generous, funny and treated your mom very well when he was alive. So you held him dear in your heart, even if you didn't even know how he looked.

"Neteyam is very special to me." It's all you said, looking down shyly

➳

You woke up the following day with the weirdest feeling in your throat and soon you realized you had to throw up so you jumped off of your mat, ran out of your mother's house and stopped only when you got behind a tree that was close-by. You put your head down and threw up what seemed to be all you had eaten the night before.

You heard the sound of leaves breaking on the floor and you looked behind you only to see Neytiri looking at you, seeming to be really worried.

"(y/n), honey. Are you sick?"

You cleaned your mouth with the back of your hand and looked up at Neytiri.

"Hm... I think so. I might have eaten a fruit that was starting to rot at dinner yesterday or something."

"I'm still worried. Do you need help?" She said

"I think I'm alright. Thank you anyway, Neytiri. You're always so nice to me." You smiled, looking at her beautiful face. Neytiri was the most beautiful woman in the clan, in your opinion.

She smiled softly

"If you need anything, shout as loud as you can and I'll come running to your aid. Okay?" She touched your shoulder

"Okay." You answered and she went her way

Later that day, after you had lunch you felt sick again and tried to run away to throw up because you hated making a mess at the house but Ao'ite came just in time to see you struggling.

"My daughter. Are you gonna throw up?" She saw you covering your mouth with your hand while your face was pale

The yellow liquid falling to the floor was the answer to her question

"I'm sorry, mom. I'll clean it up." You said already going to fetch a cloth to wipe the floor with but Ao'ite interrupted you

"Nonsense, child. You're sick. Sit down and I'll bring some water to wash your face." There was still vomit in your mouth and chin "Only after you're clean, I'll take care of the mess on the floor."

"Okay, mom. I think I need to lie down a bit." You said and laid on the floor "I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't seem to keep anything I eat inside my body. I always puke it."

Your mother was coming near you carrying water in a big seashell and a cloth and looked at you with her big yellow eyes for a few seconds, a serious expression in her face.

She knelt to the floor, wet the cloth in the water inside the seashell that was in one of her hands and started to clean your face up. When you were clean, she looked at you, seemingly mad and said:

"(y/n), did you mate with Neteyam?"

You looked at her not being able to believe what she had just asked.

"I..." You almost denied but there was no use "I did, mother."

"I knew you guys weren't just listening to songs together." She said, shaking her head in disappointment "(y/n), I might be mistaken but I have helped a lot of human girls and women with their pregnancies. I don't know if this is possible, but, you are showing symptoms that might indicate you're with child." Your mouth fell open

"I saw Neytiri when I went to the forest earlier today to hunt food for our lunch. She told me she saw you throwing up. You know how much she cares about you. She was worried and asked me to keep an eye on you."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, mom... I thought it was just something bad that I had eaten. I... I didn't think it was possible."

"I'm not sure it is. But there's a real possibility you're carrying Neteyam's child. And that's a big deal, my daughter. He's going to be the next Olo'eyktan." What she said brought back to your mind all those thoughts about not being good enough to be Neteyam's mate

"After I clean the floor, I will go to the lab and call Dr Evelyn. She will be able to tell us if you're really pregnant. You stay here and go lay in your mat. You gotta rest." She said, standing back on her feet and leaving to fetch something to clean the floor

You did as you mother said and went to lie down at your mat. After she had left, you were still awake and uncomfortable for half an hour but then you feel asleep, feeling tired.

➳

Meanwhile, Neteyam had just stopped for a break from his Olo'eyktan training with Jake. They were resting, sitting on the floor and Jake was cleaning his arrow when Neteyam said:

"Dad?"

"Yes?" Jake looked at his eldest son

"I have something important to tell you." Jake was looking at the arrow in his hand but looked back at Neteyam after hearing those words

"I chose a mate."

Jake had a serious expression at his face

"It's (y/n)."

Jake smirked and said "Who could have seen it coming? The girl you're always drooling over is the one you want to be your mate."

"The thing is... She already is, if you know what I mean."

"What?!" Jake was angry "And you didn't think to tell the people first? You have a great responsibility to the clan as the Olo'eyktan to be." He looked at him like he was crazy

"I'm sorry, dad. It all just happened so fast. It was only yesterday." Neteyam tried to defend himself

"Yeah, of course it was. I suspected something was up when you two arrived late and side by side at dinner."

"What do I do now, dad? Can I tell the people tonight?"

"Boy, you think with your penis, not your brain." Jake said, pushing Neteyam by his arm. "And is there another option? You have to make an announcement as soon as possible. It's gonna be tonight. And you're still not finished with your training. You were supposed to court her for a while and only mate with her after you became Olo'eyktan. How am I gonna tell your mother about it?" Jake shook his head

"Sorry?" Neteyam said with an awkward smile

➳

You woke up with a human female voice calling you softly. It was Dr Evelyn Miller.

"Hi, (y/n)." The redhead was looking at you with a soothing expression in her face "How are you feeling? Your mother told me you threw up a bit."

"Hi, Dr Evelyn. I feel better now. Thank you."

"That's great. Ao'ite told me you were chosen by a nice na'vi boy to be his mate. Is that right?" She was smiling

"Yeah...." You smiled shyly

"And she told me you guys were in a rush and you two mated already." You felt your face burn "The thing is, something weird seems to be going on here. You are showing symptoms of pregnancy. I have to get a sample of your blood and run some tests to see if you really are pregnant. Is that okay?"

"Sure..." You said nervous

"It won't take long. I have all the equipment I need here on my backpack."

Dr Evelyn stung you with a needle in a syringe she took out of a metal box that was inside her backpack. You saw the crimson blood being collected inside the syringe and sighed deeply, your breath faltering.

Ao'ite looked at you worried.

Half an hour later, Dr Evelyn looked at you with a surprised face and finally spoke:

"You are carrying a na'vi baby in your womb. That's crazy." She laughed slightly in disbelief

Ao'ite's eyes got filled with tears and she smiled

"I thought you were mad, mom." You looked at her face

"I'm mad you were irresponsible. And I'm worried for your fragile human health. But I'm also happy I'm gonna have a grandchild. And this child will be na'vi. Eywa ngahu!" (May Eywa be with you)

You felt tears starting to wet your cheeks.

"Congratulations, (y/n). You're gonna be under my care from now on as something like this has never happened before and we don't know how your body is gonna react. I'll leave you guys alone now." She smiled, put her backpack on her shoulder and exited your home

"Mom, I need to tell Neteyam!" You said smiling

"Do you want me to go to the Sully's house and call him? He better have told his parents that you guys mated. I don't want anyone confused or mad when I get there. I already have a lot on my plate right now." She laughed a bit

♡

tagging:

@lik0

@behindthearcane

@destinylb

@thelxnelyworld (I'm tagging you because you asked for part 4 💙)

(If any of you guys don't wanna be tagged anymore just tell me don't wanna bother anyone lol)

[scribblemetae]

Yes, Miss | Hyunjin Smut | Part 1

Website Tagline:  ‘Virgin boy with years of backed up cum pleasures himself for you, come watch my live videos and teach me how to fuck’

Description/Summary:  It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know this was going to happen, how were you to know the person behind the videos you used to get off to was none other than your favourite straight A student Hwang Hyunjin. How would you ever look at the boy with thick black glasses properly again?

Genre: Nerd!Hyunjin, Teacher!Reader, Student!Hyunjin, Taboo but fully legal relationship.

Word count: 9k

Main warnings: general teacher student naughty business, Hyunjin got a Miss!Kink, Cam!boy Hyunjin, Desperate Hyunjin. Masturbation (f) and (m), Mutual Masturbation (Kinda?) Slow burn but also not a slow burn lmao

A/N : Re-post from my Stray Kids story, I do love writing about cam boys! I might write more members as cam boys

He drove you wild, you were here panting hard on your bed sheets as you watched him stroke his cock into his camera. You’re not sure when you became a slave to his live shows, you never expected to become a regular viewer of anybody on the website, only signing up to relieve a bit of stress every now and then. However, since the first video of his you watched, when he was talking about how desperate he was to fuck you with his virgin cock, you were stuck on him. You even went as far as signing up to the website to get notifications for when he would be going live.

A virgin cam boy with a sweet voice and a perfect looking cock, how could you not live for that?. There was something so hot about the idea of him being completely innocent and untouched, yet here getting off for anybody to see.

His viewership seemed small, but that wasn’t exactly a bad thing, it meant not as many annoying messages popping up during live streams when he would say something in need of an answer. He always interacted with his viewers, pretending to be their boyfriend who was to scared to fuck so jacked off just for them, he was delectable. He had said the virgin thing wasn't just a character and was actually true and that made you mouth water for him, he seemed so sweet when he would talk to views before and after lives.

Right now he was the complete antithesis of sweet, hand wrapped around his hard cock as he layed back on his bed, face out of screen as always, filth leaving his lips as he helped his viewers reach their highs. 

“Fuck, I’m so backed up with cum, wanna cum for you so bad.” You were right there with him, fingers deep inside your cunt as you thrusted inside at the same pace he stroked his cock. You watch him as he sits up slightly reading some of the comments panting. “Yeah, yeah I’ll fuck you soon, promise I’ll let you take my virginity soon but for now just enjoy watching me baby.” he continued stroking himself, breathing getting heavier and heavier as you got close to the edge, deep voice turning whimpery. “You’ll have to teach me how to fuck, teach me what to do -shit- cum with me, please cum with me.” The perfect blend of dominant and submissive, you couldn’t help but do exactly what he asked and cum at the same time as him.

When you’d finished your session you were damp and warm but the last thing you wanted to do was move, your shower would have to wait till morning before you go to work. For now all you wanted to do was roll over and fall asleep.

It was only 8am and you’d already had it this morning. Mondays were always pretty bad but this one was worse, all the professors and teachers had to come in an hour early to discuss work plans and for the last half an hour your boss has just gone in on you all for your students' grades. It's not like they were bad, in fact your college was one of the best in the area but he just wanted them to be better. He’d taken your can do attitude and good mood and slammed it into the ground. Today was going to be a long day 

“Correct Hyunjin, does anybody else have any ideas or are we just going to leave it to our fellow classmen over here to answer everything for us?”

You were in the last lesson for the day and your mood had gone from bad to worse. looking around the room at your class and everybody was silent, looking at you with vacant stares, eyes barely open. Mondays were always the same. The majority of your class turned up but most of them were nursing hangovers and dealing with their own sleep depravity. It was times like these you wanted to bang your head against the table. When you swapped over to teaching college students you thought things would be easier, these are young adults who have decided to come to your class, they’ve purposely come to study and learn and yet most of the time it was like trying to get blood from a stone. Days like this always reminded you that in reality they are just young adults that only came to college for the promise of good parties and sex.

As much as your students could drive you mad you did have a select few that would sit at the front, always turn up on time and always engaged with your lessons but that was 4 out of about 30. Yun-hee, Felix, Sunny and Hyunjin, they always made your lessons slightly bearable but you knew everybody else relied on them to get the answers correct so they could just jot it down on their laptops and be on their way. You weren’t blind to it, you could see right through them all, it wasn't long ago you were in college doing the exact same thing. People always relied on the nerdy kids who sat at the front and tried their hardest to get them through.

You rolled your eyes as you turned to face the projector screen trying not to let everybody see your clear annoyance with them, if you thought your last few lessons were bad you had another thing coming. You continued through the next 45 minutes and you were getting nothing from them. Hyunjin and Sunny answered most if not all the questions of class, obviously looking golden in your eyes, but nerdy in the eyes of their piers. The phrase ‘Fucking nerd’ was flung out while Hyunjin answered a particularly hard question, forcing you to remove the foul mouthed ass-hole from the lesson.

You always felt bad for Hyunjin, you noticed that he was picked on a lot and never really stood up for himself, in fact all four of your best students got it pretty rough from the others. You thought bullying would calm down slightly in a college environment compared to the pre-school you taught in beforehand but you were wrong, people were meaner here and if there's one thing you couldn’t stand it was an asshole bully. You shook your head reminding yourself this wasn’t the place to be cussing out your students and looked at the time on your laptop. You still had another 5 minutes to go but you really didn't see the point in continuing considering that for the last 15 you’d just had everybody work in pairs and study the subject. So, you did what all mature, respectable professors do. “Okay guys we’re gonna finish the lesson 5 minuets early, i'll see you all tomorrow”. You know you probably shouldn't have but it was your last lesson of the day and you were just ready to get home and relax.

As the class were packing their books away and you were doing the same, you feel a knock against the table and turn to see that Hyunjin had accidentally walked into it while approaching you, he softly rubs his elbow as he whispers out an “owch.”

“Hyunjin, are you okay?” You reach over touching his arm making sure that he didn’t hurt himself too badly. He just nods at you slowly with a small smile on his face. “I just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed the lesson today.” Everything he did was awkward, you noted as he put his hand out as if he was going to shake yours before slowly pulling it back realising that would be a weird thing to do.

“Thank you Hyunjin, your input on the subject matters are always impressive to say the least.” He blushed at your compliment looking down. It was only as the conversation went silent that you noticed all your other students had left, but Hyunjin was still gripping his bag to his chest as he stood in front of you. “Is there something else you need Hyunjin?”  He went wide eyed at your question, almost as if you’d caught him doing something he shouldn't. “I, No, Miss, your shirt looks really pretty.” 

As you took a second to think about his words he had already started to leave, face bright red in embarrassment but the sound of slapping on the floor makes you whip your head around to where he was laying on the floor. God, he was so clumsy. You run over to him trying to help him up but he looks mortified as you grab his hand and some of the stuff he had dropped. “Hyunjin, you have to be more careful.” He looks like he hit his knee pretty badly as he stands up hopping a little bit waiting for the pain to go down “I know, I'm sorry Noona, I mean, Miss Y/L/N.”

You slowly start handing over his things, a book, a flask and a medium sized green pouch that felt heavier than it should. He was quick to grab them off you as you handed them back, ears still red from embarrassment. “Don’t be sorry Hyunjin, just be careful. You know these kids will do anything that they can to find a weakness in you.” 

You didn’t have to elaborate on any of it, he understood exactly what you meant looking down toward the floor unsure of how to answer. You really did make him nervous, butterflies appearing in his tummy every time he was in the same room as you. “You need to stick up for yourself, be more confident, you're such a bright kid Hyunjin” your hand was on his arm now and he nearly flinched back at the feeling of you words flowing through him. “I’m not a kid, Miss Y/L/N.” You take a deep breath and do your best to say no more, not wanting to offend him in any way. It must be hard when people are so cruel to him on a daily basis. “I know Hyunjin, that's not what I meant”  

He was quick to remove himself from the room after that, shrugging a small goodbye as he walked out on you, leaving you to finish up your day ‘Well that was different’ you thought to yourself as you went back to packing everything away. Something seemed so different about Hyunjin lately and you couldn’t put your finger on it. He was still excelling at classes and still dressing the same way. He still had the same friends and did the same things and yet you could tell there was something on his mind. All you could do was shrug it off and hope for the best for him.

It didn’t take long for you to get all your things together finally and leave the classroom. As you walk down the hallway rushing to get to your car but your name booms down the hallway. Your boss, the man in charge of the school, was shouting you and you hoped to god this could be over quickly so you could just go home. You turned around and smiled at him, maybe you just dropped something.

“Have you handed in all your lesson plans for the next few months''. You couldn’t help but look at him confused, you’ve never really had to go over your plans with him before, this was a college not a pre-school. When you didn't answer he made sure to bark back at you. “___, If you’re not prepared for lessons its no wonder your students are failing” before you could even babble out your defence and make him aware that only 8% of your students actually were failing he continued to berate you in the hallways “You weren’t hired to bring the university down, you were hired because of your remarkable ideas that quite frankly I'm yet to see any of”

You wanted to shout and scream, this being the second time you’d been spoken to like this by him today but you knew it would get you nowhere. This was just the way he was, it was nothing personal, he was just an absolute dick. It was only when you looked around that you saw Hyunjin in the hallway standing by his locker listening into the conversation. You thought everybody had hurried off but knowing there were still people around you felt embarrassed. You didn’t let it show though, or at least you tried not to, smiling at him and looking straight back to your boss missing the uneasy smile he threw back at you. 

You opened your mouth ready to defend yourself but were cut off by him shouting the name of another teacher and you quickly took your chance to leave the conversation. You felt bad for whoever he was about to scream at but at the same time you had taken your share and just wanted to leave 

The drive home was easy, luckily for you. Every traffic light was green and the roads were pretty clear much to your surprise. You managed to make it home much quicker than you usually would. As you slammed your car door a little bit harder than you probably should have you walked up to your door, unlocking it and breathing a little bit easier as you walked into your living room.

After you made yourself food, sat down with a glass of wine and finished up all your jobs, that you finally slumped on the couch not letting the stress from the day dissipate in any way when you sit there replaying everything you could have done better in your head. All the annoyances big and small start to eat away at you until your head starts pounding, when you phone pings your glad there's finally going to be something to knock you out of it when you grab it quickly from beside you. 

You thought it would be a text message, a notification from a game you could mindlessly play until you had to go to sleep, or even a reminder that you set for something you’d obviously forgotten but no it was none of them, the little notification was from SKZCamboys.net, ‘babyboy has gone live’ you immediately bit your bottom lip reading his tagline that pops up every time along with the notification ‘Virgin boy with years of backed up cum pleasures himself for you, come watch my live videos and teach me how to fuck’.

He never goes live on a weekday, only every showing his face, or should you say body, on a Sunday night getting everybody ready for the week ahead of them. To say you were wet immediately just from the surprise of seeing the notification would have been an understatement. You wasted no time grabbing your laptop and rushing to your bedroom thanking the heavens that today of all days he decided to spring a surprise live on everybody

As you open your laptop you're quick to position yourself on your bed, laying down and setting everything up ready to wash away the annoyance the best way you knew how. As soon as you log into your laptop account the notification letting you know he's gone live pops up and you click it, way more eager than usual. You had no shame in masturbating but you did have a little shame at doing it so eagerly. 

There he was, kneeling in front of his camera, slacks on but shirtless. You never got to see his face, you could only imagine how handsome he looked, if only he would tip his camera up a little bit more to help your imagination. Fuck, just seeing him like this was starting to get you wet. 

“I’ll wait until I have a few more views to start, for now we can just have some fun talking.” His voice was sweet like honey, something familiar and safe about it but you knew you’d never heard a voice quite like it, you’d remember the way the vibrations of the deep timber would shake your heart. You can see him reading the comments that are already rushing on the side of the stream, you wish you could click them away but it was the only negative of this website. You always had to see them there next to his perfect body. 

Suddenly his voice turns timid as he reads out one of the comments ‘What do you have instore for us today H? Why the surprise live’ H was his pseudonym, a stage name if you will, he never gave out his real name much to your dismay. You’d do anything to moan it out for him. 

As you saw him covering his body you could see him slowly getting in to character, he pretended to be shy and innocent but theres no way somebody who was willing to get his cock out on camera really was, but still, the show he put on always worked for you.

“I’m sorry about being so abrupt, I know usually we wait till a Saturday to have fun but, I really wanted to touch you today, I know you’ve had such a hard day today I just wanna help you get rid of all that stress”

You gasped at his words, a whimper slightly following it. V had a storyline in his videos, one that you were a slave to. He was your virgin boyfriend. You’re not sure when you started watching his videos but each one you’ve watched was a continuation of the last, usually basing them on the premise that you were his girlfriend, watching him get off because he was to scared to fuck.

"The more time we spend together, the more we talk and get to know each other, the more I wanna be dirty with you." Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, its like he was speaking directly to you. His hands were starting to stroke over his body and you couldn’t help but picture them as your own. As his fingers danced around his skin your eyes raked down his body noticing the hard on that was pressing against the thin material of his pants and your mouth started to water slightly. You couldn’t help but slide your hand down your pants, laying them on top of your panties and slowly starting to rub, trying to warm yourself up a little bit ready for him.

“No, no, baby, stop.” His voice was winey and it stopped your movements “Don't touch yourself yet please, I wanna do it for you remember? I wanna do all the touching.” This was something you loved about watching him, he could read all his viewers like a book, he knew exactly what he was doing and he loved to tease with it.

“Please, just let me enjoy your body tonight, i’ve got so fucking much backed up cum to give you, just let me have my way with you.” As always you followed along and did as he said, restraining from touching yourself and biting your bottom lip frustrated that you couldn’t start without him. 

You couldn’t see it from his lips, but you could see the bouncing of his Adam's apple as he chuckled slightly dropping his innocent character, enjoying what he was doing to his viewers. Comments popping up at the side of his stream asking him to start, begging him to really let them take his virginity.

“You’re all so excited about getting to fuck me, so many juicy pussys ready to let me have there way with them” he moved his had down and grasps his cock groaning slightly “Makes me so fucking hard thinking about it.” As he started to palm himself the pure version of himself makes his appearance again “but, I don’t know if im ready for that just yet, you don’t mind waiting for me do you baby? Just a little longer, I promise I wont make you wait to much longer but tonight I just wanna lick, just wanna stroke and touch you till you’re Cumming for me, is that okay, baby?”

You look around at the background of his live, trying to distract yourself knowing that if you look at him any longer you won't be able to help but start touching yourself out of pure desperation. His bed sheets had math equations on them, different trophies across his wall for academic achievements. You eyes wondered slightly over his body again but this time you weren’t looking at his chest, you noticed a bruise on his elbow and all you wanted to do was kiss it better. While your eyes dances around his bedroom and you mind fluttered with all the ways you’d like to take care of him you managed to change your position so you were up against your headboard, clothes completely removed and your laptop was in between your feet that were now spread out in front of you.

“Lets see who we have joining today, who's going to let this desperate little tongue explore them tonight” The soft stuttering of his words were in huge contrast with the things he was saying making your brain melt and he pulls you back to attention when he starts reading the names of some of his views and your pussy throbs when he calls out your user name ‘Missy/n’. Yeah, you knew it wasn’t exactly original but when you signed up to the website you never thought you'd become a regular viewer of anybody. “Will you let me please you tonight Missy/n? You’re always so silent on my streams”

Shit, he was addressing you, calling you out essentially. His viewership was so small he could remember his regular viewers, sometimes addressing them by the name they asked and talk to them while he streamed. It looked like tonight it was your turn. “Do you like being called Miss, y/n? Does my girlfriend like being called miss? I can do that if you just talk to me baby” Your pussy was dripping at his words, you had to clench your fists in order to stop from touching yourself. You could see other comments on the side begging for his attention, asking him to talk to them since you were clearly too shy. They weren’t wrong. You never interacted, and clearly he has noticed that.

“You always watch my streams but never join in on the fun” He slowly starts pulling on the waistband of his slacks and his cock pops out into view. He's so big and hard, he has one of the prettiest cocks you’ve ever seen and you verbally moan out loud. “We had so much fun last night, I know you where there, you can tell me anything remember, I'm a good boyfriend I'll do whatever you want” he pushed his hand into his pants and you heard a gasp from off camera “Please, Missy/n, please tell me what you like so I can make tonight all about you”

The fact he was directing this to you makes your brain vibrate, all sense being thrown out the window as your pussy clenches around nothing, needing to feel something. You type up your reply, talking to him for the first time, it's strange how nervous it makes you but you need him to start, your stomach is starting to hurt with want. You want to sound sexy but don’t want to embarrass yourself 

You settled with something simple 'Call me Miss, H, I really like that' and hoped to God he would keep going, You’d never felt as nervous as you did pressing the enter button on your keypad. “Fuck yes, Tonight's all about you miss, its all for you”

Waking you up felt great, the laptop was pushed to the end of the bed as you sat up and rubbed your eyes starting to stretch for a second before starting to panic.

No alarm?

You searched your bed quickly looking for your phone, throwing the covers and the pillows around untill you eventually found it hidden underneath the laptop at the end of your bed.

8:35. Shit.

You had 25 minuets to get dressed ready and at work. You let out a frustrated 'fuck' As you flipped your house around trying to find everything you needed. You were lucky you put all your clothes on the right way round at this point.

Your hair was thrown up quickly and your face was bare, you'd have to skip the make-up for today. You threw your laptop in your bag and hauled ass to your car making sure you're there as quick as the speed limit would let you.

You were lucky, every light turned green and the roads were practically empty meaning you were only late to your first class by 5 minutes.

As you ran through the door you were quick to apologize to your students, not that any of them were really paying attention to you. You were in such a rush you barely had a grip on your laptop case and bags while they were slipping down your arms.

"Do you-" you feel your bags slipping lower and lower as you hear Hyunjins voice and his hand reaching out to help you "-do you need a hand Miss?" He was always so sweet. His black hair was tied back and his big blue jumper looked nearly too big for him as he grabbed your laptop bag off your arm allowing you to reposition your other bag on your shoulder.

"Thank you Hyunjin" you give him a smile and shouted out to the rest if your class "You guys talk amongst yourself for a second while I set up"

Both you and Hyunjin walked to your desk and placed all your stuff on there "There-erm-what" as you looked up to your side Hyunjin was still standing over you struggling with his words. You couldn't tell what he was saying over the noise of a nearly full lecture hall talking amongst themselves though "Hyunjin, are you okay?"

He looked surprised at you addressing him and shook his head as he was released from whatever daydream he was in. His cheeks and ears looked slightly flushed as he opened his mouth to say something but the words wouldn't come out.

"Do you want to help me set up?" You weren't sure why he was always so nervous around you, but you tried to help him out wherever you could. You assumed it was because you were his teacher. You weren’t much older than him, but old enough that you held the authority, besides, no matter what your age difference you were the person who held his grades in your hands. He was twenty one years old and he could do whatever he wanted in his life, as long as you gave him the grades to achieve it.

You tried to sound as casual as possible as you directed him to the chair at your desk and asked him to set up the laptop and your google documents, maybe if you were slightly less formal with him he would calm down a little when he was around you. As you pulled everything out of your bag that you needed you heard another whack as Hyunjin rubs his elbow sitting on the chair at the other side of it. That's the second time he's hit his elbow on your desk, he's so clumsy. So much so that in another few seconds you heard a crashing of your laptop and another bang on the table from Hyunjins direction. 

As you look over, your laptop is on the floor and Hyunjin looks shocked. In a second he was rushing to pick everything up as he almost groveled to you “Im sorry, i'm so sorry, wait-”

You can hear everybody in the background starting to turn and talk about what was going on at the front and you feel that frazzled Hyunjin even more. He was clamoring around the desk and the floor trying to pick up everything that had been dropped. You moved around the desk and dropped to your knees trying to help him, as he scrambled, you were trying to help him by grabbing things calmly. The whole class was starting to get louder and you could hear people laughing at him and you were starting to get frustrated. 

“It's okay Hyunjin, don’t worry” but as you grabbed your laptop he seemed to get even more stressed out grabbing it at the same time as you almost as if he was trying to pull it out of your hands. When you looked down at the screen, you realized why. 

The screen was lit up glowing on SKZCamboys.net. All the air felt like it was punched out of your stomach. You must have forgotten to exit everything when you rushed this morning and now both of you were staring at the screen that was on H’s profile. Thumbnail of the video finished and paused on the screen of his cock in hand, with cum all over it. 

There was no explaining this away, you slammed the laptop closed and started to apologise but before you could, the laughing from the class was getting louder “You’re such a fucking loser” - “Look at him stairing at her! Hyunjin wants to fuck the tutor everybody” - You heard laughing coming from all different directions and you could see the mortification coming from Hyunjins face. 

He was quick to react, pulling his body from the floor and running towards the door. You shouted his name but you knew there was no quick fix to this. All this had done was added fuel to the fire of Hyunjin getting bullied and honestly all you wanted to do was hit your head on the table. 

As you managed to pull yourself off the floor ready to scold your students there was a knocking on your classroom door, the entire off you class were silent and that could only mean one thing.

"What's going on here miss Y/L/N" there he is again, the bane of your job. "Sir we just had a small mishap, it's nothing I can't ha-" he interjected before you could say anything. "Small mishap? You have a student running out of your classroom, your entire class shouting about and all your lesson notes seem to be scattered onto the floor"

You took a deep breath before you could answer him. You needed to compose yourself "I can assure you Sir, it's not what it looks like"

"Not what it looks like? So you haven't completely lost control of your class?" Before you could say anything he was walking towards your desk with fury in his eyes "take the rest of the week off miss y/l/n, i'll deal with you on Monday"

You were shocked to say the least, you were standing there in the middle of your classroom and he had the audacity to send you home? As if you were a student yourself. You shook your head, surely he was just being dramatic "Sir, I don't think that's necessary"

"Oh Miss y/l/n I think it's very necessary. In fact, make it two weeks, now collect your things and head home"

You didn't say anything. You felt embarrassed. The entire time this was happening your class was watching over your shoulder in silence. They all looked as surprised as you as you awkwardly bent down to pick up the rest of your papers and packed all your things away. Your exit from the room felt shameful. Your head was hung low as there were no words exchanged, the only sound was the clicking of your heels on the hardwood floor.

As you left and closed the door behind you, you leaned against it hitting the back of your head on it. There was nothing you could do. You weren't the first tutor he'd sent home but if you were honest, you were the first one he'd sent for a legitimate reason. You had lost control of everything going on back there.

That's when you remembered what had happened with Hyunjin. Oh God, you needed to make things right with him, for him. You wondered where he'd run off to, unsure where to even start. How do you make that up to somebody. Nobody wants to see the porn their teacher gets off to, especially not somebody as sweet and nieve as Hyunjin. Not to mention unintentionally embarrassing in front of the class, if he hadn't seen what was on your screen he wouldn't have dropped anything and nobody would have thought anything of it.

The walk to your car was slightly defeated. Head hug low, ignoring everybody who you walked past and slumping yourself into your front seat. As you pulled your phone out to check any notifications you saw the email the university had sent you.

Dear Y/N,

This email is to confirm your suspension from USTRAY University with immediate effect. This will be a 12 day suspension period and you will be due to return on Monday 1st of May.

In the meantime if you have any queries please take them up with your HR representative.

You may still be asked to contact students via email if any on-going work issues present themselves but in these cases you will be paid for your time.

On your return date you will have an investigation to look into the details of your suspension, the out-come of this meeting could rage anywhere between no further action taken to a disciplinary hearing.

We hope you are in good health and we look forward to seeing you soon.

USTAY University 

you rolled your eyes and threw your head back in defeat, the one thing this university had going for it was that it was efficient, you weren't even off the grounds and you already had your suspension email. As you drive home you play the email over and over in your head.

__________________________

You weren't really sure what to do with yourself. You'd been at home for two hours, sat watching TV twiddling your tumble idoly while thinking of how to be productive. Your situation was shit to say the least but you wanted to at least do something with the forced time off. 

You'd been almost in a trance for the last hour, bored and watching TV only managing to snap out of it when your phone rang next to you.

You didn't even look at it when you pulled it up to your ear to speak to whoever dared interrupt you wallowing. "Hello"

"Oh Hi _____ it's Chris"

Why would Chris be calling you? He was one of the music studies tutors at your uni, you'd only talked to him a handful of times so he's not somebody you thought would call to discuss your current situation. "Oh yeah, Hi Chris what's up?"

"First of all I'm really sorry about what happened, you're a great tutor you didn't deserve that, the man has lost his mind I swear" after a few seconds and a small thank you from you he continued "what I actually called to ask you about was Hyunjin"

Oh god, did he tell everybody what had happened. You're sure you'd lose your job straight away if the other tutors thought you were watching porn in your lessons. 

"He didn't come to his second class today and he's never ever missed a class and the somebody told me what happened in your lesson and it all made a little more sense"

You nodded your head as he spoke but you weren't entirely sure why he was telling you this. You knew what had gone on and you'd do anything you could to help Hyunjin out but you weren't allowed back in the uni and he knew that.

"I was wondering if you could reach out to him?" His suggestion left you feeling a little bit of dread, it made sense if you were Chris, to have you be the one to reach out to him. Everything happened in your class and you had always had a soft spot for him but if he knew what Hyunjin saw, what it was that caused the situation then he'd know that your probably the last person that Hyunjin wants to talk to right now.

"You're his favorite tutor, I always over hear him talking about you to Felix in my lessons, maybe if you just gave him an email for an update and a 'How's it going' chat, you know, I don't want him to start missing lessons, I wouldn't ask cos I know your technically not getting paid but" he finished his sentence without actually finishing it. 

You knew you'd have to speak to him, as it stands he was still technically one of your students so you'd have to approach him eventually, maybe it would be easier to do it over email.

"Yeah, yeah okay sure I'll see what I can do"

Before you'd even amended to finish your sentence Chris was thanking you from the other end "just keep me updated on anything that happened, and again, I'm really sorry about all this. He really is a dick sometimes"

You huffed out a small laugh to him and agreed before putting the phone down getting ready to send an email over to Hyunjin.

Where would you even start? How do you talk about something like this to somebody who struggles even talking to you. As you open up your emails on your phone and start what you were sure was going to be the most over thought out email of your life you noticed a notification at the top left of your phone

Babyboy has gone live.

You knew you shouldn't, you knew you had other things going on in your life that were way more important than you getting your rocks off and yet something made you click on it. You weren't working, you weren't getting paid to message him and as much as you wanted to help him the temptation of watching the man that always helps make you cum. Still, there was a small hint of guilt that washed over you, okay, maybe just a sneak peak and then you’ll get back to the email.

As you clicked on the notification and the video started playing you saw that he was already talking to people. Your volume was down and as you turned it up what he was saying was already turning you on 

“Will you fuck me today? I know you want me so bad, i'm ready, please” You were shocked, immediately immersed attention fully on him as his needy voice left your phone speakers. You could pull your eyes away and your body was getting hot. 

“You’re here, fuck you’re here. Fuck me, please” As he speaks he pulls into frame a small looking green bag, it almost looked like a pencil case but a bit bigger and with a bit more weight to it. It looked familiar but before you could even care to think about it he started to pull out its contents. 

Your mouth started watering as you saw the fleshlight. You were biting your bottom lip as he started pushing his finger inside it groaning out loud. What made him take this turn with his videos, you were sure he’d never actually get this far, only ever teasing his audience, but now you have this you weren't sure you’d ever be able to think about anything else. 

“Can’t wait to feel your pussy, been waiting for so long” as he talked you sat further back on your sofa and quickly pushed your hands into your jeans and underwear and started to rub yourself. You couldn’t control yourself when it came to the faceless man, when you felt how wet you were you pushed a finger inside of your hole and let out a soft but long gasp as you felt some of your tension running away from you. 

As he pulled his finger out of the toy he moved it further up in the frame, dipping his face down slightly as his tongue connected to the fake pussy. You immediately clenched around your fingers, this is the most you’d ever seen of him and he was licking a fleshlight, you couldn't help but imagine he was on the floor in front of you, tongue licking inside your slit as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. 

“Taste so good Miss, fuck I want more” The use of the word Miss made your eyes open and what you saw on your phone threw you through a loop. You pulled your fingers away from your body bringing them up to cover your mouth that was open in shock.

You could see his jaw, his tongue had pushed into the fleshlight and now his mouth and lips and jaw were in view as he tongued the toy, but that wasn’t what surprised you. 

Hyunjin.

You’d recognise him anywhere. Your pussy was still leaking and it felt so wrong. After all this time it was Hyunjin on the other end of the camera? His tongue was so deep inside the toy and you could hear his moans, watching his jaw move tentatively as he kissed around the lips bathing the toy in his saliva.

It took everything in you, every ounce of moral to exit the window on your phone and place it down on your sofa. Your eyes were closed as you tried to take deep breaths and forget about it but when you did you pictured him again, the vision of his tongue between your legs, pushing it deep inside of you as your legs quivered around his head.

You couldn’t help but jump up off the sofa, clapping your hands to the front of your body and to the back, pacing around trying to do anything that could get the picture out of your head. It was wrong, the thought of it shouldn’t make your body squirm and your pussy clench the way it was.

You’d never thought of him like this, you’d always noted that he was good looking, it was the main reason you thought the boys all picked on him, jealous that he was attractive and smart, a lethal combination.  But, untill now, never once had you thought about him sexually.

Your phone once again goes off, a notification sound ringing around the room.

Perfect a distraction.

It was a text from Chris

"Thanks for getting in contact with him, I'm sure he'll be grateful for it. Just if you can make sure you message him soon and then send me any updates or just CC me in on the email"

Okay maybe not.

What the hell were you supposed to do? There was no way you could CC Chris in on the email. What would happen if Hyunjin replied and mentioned what happened, in fact, maybe it wasn't a good idea to email him at all. You needed to get some distance. You were having the most inappropriate thoughts about him.

You typed back a quick reply to Chris with the perfect excuse.

"Hey Chris, I've just tried emailing him but sadly I'm having no luck with my Internet connection on my phone and due to my laptop being dropped today I'm unable to try on there until it's repaired. You may have to try and contact him yourself, Sorry for all the hassle"

Okay so you lied through your front teeth but that was the best option out of all the ones you could think of at the moment. This would allow you time before you got back to work to deal with this all in your head 

"Oh that's fine I'll send you over his phone number, maybe just giving him a call would be easier anyways, it's a bit more personal, just let me know how it goes. Thanks again"

Sure enough in the next text Chris sent you over his number and you were near rolling your eyes. 

He was right, a phone call would be much more personal and you wanted to avoid that the best you could. Could you get away with texting him? No, that's far too informal and awkward. 

You couldn't help but let out a loud grunt of annoyance. Fuck it, just call him and get it over with. It's not like he knows what your thinking, this is just as casual as it would have been before you found out. It's only different on your end of things.

You planned out how it was going to go in your head, looking at your phone weighing out the possible opening lines and options you could take 

"Hi Hyunjin it's Miss __, I was just calling to talk about what happened today in class" maybe? No, wait, this opens up the possibility for him to talk about your laptop "Hi Hyunjin, I'm just calling about you missing your lessons today" Nope, that kinda feels too accusatory. You didn't want him to feel at fault. "Hi hyunjin, I just wanted to call to make sure you were okay after today, Professor Bang said you'd not been in for your next class?

That felt better, you weren't accusing him of anything and you didn't give him too much time to talk about the incident, more leading it towards the missing off classes than anything else.

You must have paced around the loving room for a good half an hour before you hyped yourself up enough for the call, anybody watching would have thought you were getting ready for an Olympic run. You'd managed to straighten up your living room, make yourself and drink and do the dishes all until you had nothing left to procrastinate over.

Your heartbeat had slowed down in the half an hour avoidance but as soon as you picked up your phone again you could feel it increasing. You dialed in his number and took a deep breath, it was going to be fine.

Well, it would have been fine if he didn't answer his phone so quickly, throwing you off completely. 

"Hello"

How did you never recognise his voice? Without a face attached all you could hear was the man you watch on the other end of your computer screen. It was different when he was there in front of you though, when he was there his voice was soft and stuttered, unsure of what to say next. When you watch him on camera, although his voice was still soft, there was a confidence that made the two personalities indistinguishable from one another.

"Oh, Hi Hyunjin? It's ___, oh I mean. It's Miss ___"

Shit, now you were the stumbling idiot.

"Oh, Hi Miss, how're you? I mean, what makes you call?"

Okay, so not just you, you were both stumbling idiots. Come on, you just had to get this over with. Just ask him how he's doing and convince him to go back to classes tomorrow.

“Oh well, one of your tutors, Professor Bang? He called me and said you’d missed your lesson with him, I was just wanting to make sure you were okay, it's not like you to miss a lesson.”

You were honest and straight to the point, that's exactly what had happened. He didn't exactly seem happy with your reasoning though as his voice sounded slightly dejected in his reply

“Oh”

You weren’t exactly sure where to run with that without talking a little bit more, the only problem with talking more about it was you knew that inevitably you’d have to bring it up, you’d have to mention the one thing you really really wanted to avoid

“Oh? Are you okay Hyunjin?-” You tried to think of a way to address it but your voice was reluctant “-I know-” Ugh, here you go. “-I know what happened in lesson must have been so weird for you and i'm so sorry for that, I didn't mean for you to see that”

You released a deep breath at the end of your sentence, it felt good being able to say it, just getting it out in the open. Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal after all. It was porn, and you were both adults regardless of Hyunjins innocent seeming nature, besides, he really wasn't as innocent as he seemed evidently. 

“Its, its okay Miss, I’d never judge you for it, its more of a complement than anything”

Good? Why would seeing your porn make him feel…. Wait. It takes all of a second for you to realize what you were looking at when he saw your laptop. It was one of his videos, he knew you’d been watching him. Your eyes widen as realization slaps you right across the face. You can’t believe it. How could you ever live that down, this was worse than you could imagine. This was more than just him simply knowing you watch porn. He knew you watched him, he knew you watched him before you even did.

“Oh My God, Hyunjin, i've just realized”

You couldn’t believe it took you now to figure it out. He must really have thought you were a pervert. You needed him to know that it wasn’t something you did intentionally. You must have sounded so frantic as you tried to convince him

His voice though, was a lot calmer, very soft and shy with a hint of confidence that you’d only ever seen in his videos 

“And now you’re calling me up just to check on me, you must really like me Miss”

Wait, that voice, that is the voice he puts on in his videos. Did he really think you did this on purpose. How could you have possibly known it was him? He never once showed his face until today, not once did he mention his name or anything.

“Hyunjin, you have to know I had no idea it was you. I never would have if I’d have known” 

You managed to calm yourself down slightly but you were still bewildered, the most shocking part was that he wasn’t shocked. You thought he'd be embarrassed when he found out that, essentially, his teacher was watching his porn videos. Instead, it seemed to give him a confidence that you’d never seen in person before.

“Oh, so, you don’t like me?”

Why did he sound so disappointed? You could almost hear the pout that you were certain was on his lips right now. It's not that you don’t like him, it's that you can’t view him in the way you unintentionally have been. How is he not understanding what you’re saying?

“Hyunjin that's not what I mean, i'm your tutor, anything else would be ridiculously inappropriate”

Your voice was stern with him, you weren't tripping over your words anymore. Sure, you may still accidentally be thinking of his tongue licking up and down a sex toy but at least you weren’t verbalising that to him.

“You’re barely older than me”

Again with the sulking, everytime you try to explain yourself he seems upset and offended. He wanted you to like him.

“Hyunjin, do you, do you like me?”

You didn’t feel like you were reaching with your question, in fact you thought it had become pretty obvious after the conversation you’d just had, and apparently Hyunjin thought the same.

“You mean you didn’t know before now?”

God, his voice was so soft and coy. Wait, no, not soft and coy. This is wrong. You shouldn't love the way it sounds when he says it. 

“Hyunjin, you can’t say these things”

Saying it outloud almost made you believe it, made you believe that you didn't want to hear these words coming out of his mouth. Morally and realistically you didn’t but in the back of your head lived a fantasy. A fantasy that only became a thing when you watched his stupid live stream. Him and you, together. Apparently you weren’t the only one with that fantasy either.

“But I've wanted to say them for so long, I always try and compliment you but it always comes out so…-” You could feel his frustration, his voice was no longer pouty and more frustrated “-So wrong, it's so hard to look into your eyes and not get lost”

You fear hearing these words coming from his mouth and you're scared it's for different reasons that it should be. He was turning you on. You were already affected by what had happened earlier and now hearing him say things like this, it was sending tingles through your body

“Hyunjin”

You try to stop him but he just keeps talking.

“I know you would never look at me twice, I'm not some hot, popular older guy, but you do watch me, you care about me right?”

Of course you cared about him, you cared about him so much that you’d always treat him slightly differently, it broke your heart that even in this situation he was talking down on himself. His confidence once displayed was wearing down with your rejection.

“Hyunjin we can’t have this conversation anymore”

Just because you felt bad for him didn’t mean you could let this continue though. You couldn’t let him keep talking. You were scared he would convince himself further that this was okay. You were scared he would convince you.

There was silence, you couldn’t think of the right thing to say and there was no way he was going to lead the conversation.  The tension was so high as the both of you were lost for words. 

“Do you?-” Finally, he was talking. It was still stuttering and slightly unsure but at least he was attempting because at this point you had no idea what to say “-do you ever join in?”

You ended the call. You had no idea what else you could do. You couldn’t answer him, you had no idea what the right thing to say was. You’ve never heard him speak like this, not to you anyways. You were just so surprised that he had this side of him. Filming videos of yourself was one thing, yes one very surprising and unexpected thing for him to do, but to have that same confidence when talking to a real person, that's something you never thought you’d see in Hyunjin. 

What happened to the cute boy who wore oversized jumpers, baggy jeans and stuttered when he spoke

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 9:

And when we go crashing down we come back every time..

Masterlist - Previous - Next

TW: Eating disorder

Day 1:

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

I felt the fresh morning air streaming in my lungs. Felt the first rays of sunshine warming my skin.

Silence. No traffic sounds. No humans chatting in the busy streets. No sound from construction sites. Silence. I straightened my back and sat up, spread my legs wide before I leaned forwards. Upper body touching the wooden planks of the porch. I could feel the stretch in my lower back, almost thought I would hear the creaking of the screws and iron plate. Then I got carefully up and leaned all to way to my left side, before I did the same on the right. Back up in my sitting position I closed my eyes again.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Starting over again.

Day 4:

"Come on, Liz! 5 more! 4, 3, 2, 1. And down." JK clapped when I slowly got up.

"I hate planks." I said and took the water bottle he offered me "What are we having today?" I took a sip and scrunched up my nose.

"Ginger, lime, mint. Good for the digestive system and also good for stress relief." he answered and I drank some more.

"Ugh, I hate ginger and mint is also not a favourite…" I mumbled and JK rolled his eyes.

"It’s good for you. Period. Get down, your 60 seconds break is over in 3, 2, 1 and plank…" god how I hated him at times, why was he always this freaking positive and cheerful.

Day 7:

"Liz, the race starts in 49 minutes, so if you want to watch it, hurry up." JK shouts from the pier and I try my best to finish the next 12 lengths in time for the race start. As I looked up after some time he waved me to him and I swam as fast as possible.

"Here, 22 minutes left!" he said as he helped me out of the lake and wrapped me in a big towel "Come on, hot tea and lunch are waiting." we make our way up to the cabin. What took me a week ago 9 minutes with crutches now only took me 5, still with crutches but the process was there.

Back in the cabin I made my way into the bathroom, but failed to open up the zipper from the wetsuit.

"JK, can you help me for a second?" I shouted and I heard his steps coming closer "Come in, can you open up the zipper please? My fingers are a little numb…" he pulled the zipper all the way down and turned to leave "My hero.” I chuckled.

"Everything for you, princess." he said obnoxiously sweet and we laughed.

"Get your ass ready, the race starts in a couple of minutes!" he chuckled and left the bathroom.

I watched as the camera panned onto Charles, congratulating Max, then Valtteri, then Lewis. He wasn’t happy, the moment he got out of the car, I could tell by the way he was walking that he wasn’t anywhere near satisfied.

"Hey Charlie, good race!" I said as his face appeared on my phone 4 hours later, he looks exhausted, unsatisfied, but also a little sad "What’s going on? Why that face? I know P4 is nothing we celebrate really. But come on! With that car?"

"I still want to win, no matter how shit the car is! Did you see Sainz? He was leading with a fucking McLaren!" Charles sighed and I wished for nothing more than to be able to hug him. "He’s my teammate next year and there are already so many articles out there! That he will be dominating me, he will give me a run for my money! What does that even mean?"

"It means they’re all idiots! Don’t listen to the media! Just do your races and don’t care what others have to say!" I tried to cheer him up.

"Yeah, you’re right! So tell me, how was the first week?" he changed the topic and I understood that he didn’t want to talk longer about the race. So I started to tell him about my recovery, what progress I made already in one week and soon after we were talking about random stuff none of us would know the next day anything about anymore. But just us talking felt better than anything else in the world.

Day 14:

"Hey Seb!" I exclaimed as he opened the back door for me.

"Lizzie! It’s so good to see you!" he said and pulled me carefully in his arms "How are you? How’s the recovery going?"

"It’s good to be back at the racetrack! And it’s going great. JK is literally my saviour! Oh here… Seb this is JK, my physio therapist." I introduced them and they shook hands "Does he know I’m coming?"

"Nope, all top secret. I hope there was no problem at the entrance?" Seb answered and I smiled "You’re a bit late. I hope he’s not in the car already! I told Sylvia to tell them to wait but with her you never know."

"We were sent to a different entrance because the one you told us was apparently only for staff." I said and he just scoffed.

"That’s why I told Syl-… never mind, come in now!" he ushered us through the garage as someone called him out.

"Seb! You need to get in the car! Now! You’re the last driver!"

"Shit! I’m sorry Lizzie! But I’ll tell him that you’re here before I get in my car!" Seb apologised and I just laughed.

"That’s ok! And now run!" I ushered him away as one of the Ferrari staff members brought us to our places and handed us both our headsets.

"It’s really cool to have you here, Lizzie!" the guy said and walked away smiling.

I watched how Seb jumped through the opening in the fence and ran straight to Charles' car, he leaned down and waved in my direction, Charles' head turned faster than the speed of light and I waved at him.

"Lizzie? Oh my god! What are you doing here?" Joris almost shouted and I turned in his direction.

"I wanted to surprise Charles, I was just a little late." I answered and Joris hugged me.

"If he wins today, it’s because of you for sure!" he laughed and I just grinned.

P3. Gino tapped on my shoulder and I looked up at him and he gently side hugged me.

"Ciao bella! Come on Lizzie, let’s go to the barriers! I’ll make sure that no one comes too close to you!" he said and I nodded, then I looked at JK.

"Go! But be careful!" he said and I chuckled.

"Yes, Dad!"

He jumped out of his car and as he was on his way to his team he stopped abruptly when he saw me, he pulled his helmet off and ran straight up to me before he scooped me up in his arms.

"Hey, ma belle!" he whispered and I giggled like a little kid.

"Put me down, Charles!" I laughed and he set me down "Congrats, Charlie bear!"

"Thanks. It seems like you’re my lucky charm, you should stick around!" he said and I blushed "What are you doing here?"

"You looked so sad last Sunday, I don’t know, something was off, I wanted to surprise you and asked Seb for help." I whispered and looked down, he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and embraced me again.

"I’m so happy that you’re here, ma belle!" he whispered and then he sighed happily.

"Charles, your team is waiting. And your interview. And your weighing! Come on!" I laughed and he let go of me, although reluctantly.

Day 15:

"It’s so peaceful!" Charles said and inhaled deeply as we sat on the porch, watching the sunrise, as we arrived just in time "I’m glad that I decided to join you for some days!"

"Me too, Charlie, me too." I whispered, suppressing a yawn and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Let’s get you to bed, ma belle!" he said but I shook my head, as the first sunbeams of the day were gently kissing my face.

"Just a couple more minutes, this is nice…" I pleaded and Charles sighed.

"Yeah, it really is!" he answered and gently leaned his head on mine.

I opened my eyes and realised I was laying in the bed of my bedroom. I slowly got up. Out of bed, walking out the room. On the sofa sitting were Charles, reading a book and JK sketching something in his mysterious book.

"Boys." I said and they flinched.

"You’re up." Charles patted the sofa next to him and I sat down.

"Barely." I yawned and closed my eyes again, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Then why did you get up?"he asked and JK chuckled.

"You’re leaving on Wednesday, I don’t want to sleep through most of it!" I whispered and Charles put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.

"Ma belle, it’s not even 12… and I’ll leave on Wednesday in the evening. We have enough time." he answered and I nodded.

"I’d say let’s have a nice little walk? And later on, we’re having a little cheat day? You wanted to use the pizza oven outside, Liz?" JK clapped his hands together and got up "I prepared some dough and we’ve got a lot of that good marinara sauce you loved so much! On our way back we’ll pick up the groceries in the store and then it’s pizza night!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Charles nudged my shoulder and I sighed "Come on! Show me how beautiful it is here!"

"I’ll fire up the oven, you guys prepare the toppings!" JK commands and Charles and I nod.

"So, we have mushrooms, bell pepper, pepperoni, salami, ham and look at that cheese!" I said as Charles washed his hands and grabbed some bowls, cutting boards and knives. As I washed my hands Charles was already munching on the first slice of ham "Charles!"

"I have to check the quality of the product! And if it’s still good! I don’t want you to get a food poisoning!" he shrugged and I laughed.

"And you’re trying the ham then for what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I’m getting to the veggies, don’t worry! But what about JK and myself? Our safety doesn’t mean anything to you?" he asked, acting shocked.

"I’m sorry! You’re absolutely right!" I laughed.

"Thank you, ma belle! I guess it’s safe to say that ham is all good!" he said and put the ham slices in one of the bowls "Next salami!"

I laughed and began cutting the veggies, throwing them in different bowls.

"How are we doing, guys?" JK walked back in the kitchen, checking the bowls "The fire is burning quite nicely, dough is ready. I’d say, another, maybe 30 minutes and we can throw some pizzas in there!"

"Alright, here, Charles, put all the bowls on the tray, I’ll grab the sauce and something to drink, JK, can you grab plates and glasses? Oh and a spoon or whatever for the sauce!" I said and walked over to the fridge, grabbing some of JKs homemade lemonade and the sauce.

Outside Charles and I set the table, lighting some candles and JK took care of the fire. I sat down and watched as the last rays of sunshine coloured the sky in all shades of orange, red and pink. I shivered a little and pulled my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around them, watching as the sun slowly disappeared behind the mountain tops.

"Here." Charles stood next to me with one of his hoodies and helped me into it "Better?"

"Better!" I smiled at him and as his scent engulfed me, I blushed a little.

"Alright guys! It’s pizza time!" JK exclaimed and Charles held out his hand and helped me up.

We each made a pizza with the toppings of our choices and JK professionally shoved them into the pizza oven with the shovel. After a minute the air was filled with the mouthwatering smell of our pizza’s. JK turned them to make sure they bake evenly.

"It smells delicious!" I said and Charles nodded in agreement.

"Now it only has to taste like it smells!" JK laughed and checked on the pizza "I’d say they’re done!"

"Pizza time!" I clapped as Charles held out the plates and JK put the pizzas on. He then sat the plate with my pizza in front of me and plopped down next to me on the bench.

"They look amazing!" Charles said and filled our glasses with lemonade, then he held his up and JK and I did the same and we toasted them together "Cheers!"

The first bite of the pizza was heavenly and I groaned.

"After weeks and weeks of Buddha bowls and wholewheat pasta and protein stuff, this pizza is the best thing I ever ate in my life!" I said and Charles and JK laughed "I’m serious!"

"It’s definitely far up, that’s for sure!" Charles laughed and JK nodded.

For the next few minutes we ate and talked about everything from racing to traveling. Indulging into our cheat meal, after a while the conversation died down and a content silence fell over us. I saw in the corner of my eyes how Charles and JK glanced over at my plate and I heard JK sighing when he realised I only ate 2 slices of my pizza, but he didn’t say anything.

"I’ll bring the stuff in and head to bed. I’ll have an early FaceTime session in the morning! Don’t stay up too late, kids!" JK got up and put the box with the dough and his plate on the tray, then gestured to my plate and me like he wanted me to eat more then he walked inside.

I sighed and played with another slice of my pizza.

"I thought it’s the best thing you ate in your life?" Charles asked and I looked at him confused "Doesn’t look like it."

"I’m just not that hungry…" I answered and shrugged my shoulders but Charles looked at me for a while.

"You’re okay, right?" he almost whispered it and I looked up "You would tell me if there’s something wrong?" I nodded.

"It’s just, all of these super foods and nutrient boasted stuff I’m eating right now because of JK is a lot! I know it’s healthy and it’s a good fullness but I feel bloated sometimes! I swear!" I laughed and tried to convince Charles and he eyed me questioningly for a moment but then nodded.

"But come on! Eat at least another slice of pizza! It’s seriously one of the best I’ve ever had!" he said and I smiled and bit into the slice.

"Damn! I wished we had some pineapple." I said and Charles' face scrunched up in disgust.

"Please, please, tell me you’re joking! Ma belle! Since when do you eat that!" he sounds disappointed.

"Oh relax, I was just kidding." I laughed.

"Good! I was thinking there’s something wrong with your brain!" he said but as soon as the words left his mouth he looked at me horrified "Oh god! Lizzie, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking! I’m so, so sorry! Fuck! I am stupid! Ma belle, please believe me…" he began but I only shook my head laughing.

"Stop! Charles, it’s alright! I know you didn’t mean it!" I said but he still looked beyond shocked. I turned to him and grabbed his hand "Hey! Come on! It’s really okay! I know you didn’t mean it in any bad way!"

"I wasn’t thinking! But still, I shouldn’t have said that! I’m so sorry!" he looked down at our hands and sighed.

"Charlie, can you please look at me?" I say quietly but he didn’t move so I laid my hand on his cheek and turned his face towards me "Hi… please, listen to me when I say that it is okay! Really!" he leaned in closer, our foreheads resting against each other and he inhaled deeply.

"Still, I’m sorry ma belle!" he whispered and I only nod slightly, sitting back up "I didn’t think… it’s just a saying and…"

"Shhh… stop, please!" I put my finger on his lips to silence him "Stop apologising. It’s fine. I’m fine. Okay?" he nods slowly and I look up at him, right hand still on his cheek, left index finger on his lips. This close I could see all the tiny freckles on Charles nose, his thick, long lashes framing his eyes, eyes so beautiful I could get lost in them, over and over again. He looked deep in my eyes, one hand at my hip, the other covering mine on his cheek. Charles closed his eyes and swallowed hard, as he opened them he leaned in even closer.

"Good night guys." JK’s voice made us both flinch and pull away from each other.

Charles cleared his throat and ruffled his hair and my breathing was erratic. What just happened?

"It’s getting late? I think I’ll take a long shower and then go to bed!" I said and faked a yawn and Charles nodded.

"Yeah, you go showering, I’ll take care of the dishes!" Charles got up and grabbed our plates and glasses and then walked away, but then he turned around "I’ll put your pizza in the fridge!" then he left.

I took a deep breath and walked inside, straight into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror, shaking my head. Nothing happened. It was just a vulnerable moment because he was scared he hurt me. All good. Right?

Day 16:

After a good swim in the lake, we walked back up and I almost slipped, but JK thankfully caught me and we laughed. He held me close to him, just to annoy me but I laughed it off, shaking my head. Back at the house after taking my shoes off he pulled the zipper of my wetsuit down and I walked straight into my room. Getting out of the wetsuit I noticed a little bruise on my spine and called for JK, I put a towel on my front and waited for him.

"Is that from the black roll?" I asked as soon as he walked in and looked at me confused "That bruise above my ass!" he looked down and gently stroked over it.

"Does it hurt?" he asked and applied a little pressure but I shook my head "Now?" he rubbed a little stronger and I nodded "Alright. Seems like you’re making something wrong here… we’ll have a look tomorrow when we’re using it again." he said and I nodded "And now take a shower, you’re shivering!" and he left.

Day 17:

"I don’t want you to go!" I whispered as Charles hugged me tight.

"The season is almost over and then we’ll see each other way more! I promise!" he said and I smiled "I’ll text you as soon as I’m in Maranello!" he kissed my forehead, then he shook JKs hand and got in his car.

"I see you in a bit, ma belle!" Charles smiled.

"Bye, Charlie bear and please drive carefully!" I said and he nodded, then he drove off and JK pushed me back in as it slightly started to rain.

"Alright, Liz. Some light stretching and maybe a bit of cardio?" he suggested and I nodded.

"Let’s go!"

Day 21:

"Liz? Liz? Are you still sleeping? Liz?" the door opened slowly and JK poked through the crack "Liz? Are you awake? Come on. 4:00! We gotta get going if we want to see the sunrise!"

I didn’t move. I didn’t flinch. I only groaned and blinked rapidly. Trying to at least make something in my body move, but to no avail. JK realised that something was off and came to my side, kneeled down and switched on the lamp on the nightstand.

"Liz? Can you hear me?" he asked and I nodded slightly. Trying to even out my breathing "Lizzie? What is happening? What was that?"

"Give me a minute…" my voice was hoarse and my throat was dry. He got up and came a moment later back with a glass of water and helped me to gulp it down "Thanks."

He helped me sit up slowly and waited for me to start talking whenever I was ready.

"After I woke up from the coma, it was maybe a week later? I fell asleep, but then I woke up… and it felt like… I couldn’t move. Nothing reacted. Not even wiggling my toes. But I was awake. I looked around, but I couldn’t move. I panicked, I thought that the last week where I was awake was just a dream and I was still in the coma, like I never woke up from it and I could feel how breathing became harder and harder. I could hear these voices laughing that they would pull the plug on me. There were these shadows kind of lurking over me and I was so freaking scared. And it all felt just like it did when I really was in a coma, so yeah… I thought I’m still not awake. So I tried to thrash around the bed, but to no avail. I don’t know how long it went on like this but I woke up the next morning, feeling like shit. Muscles sore and tense, tired and exhausted. And with a headache I never had before… after that it happened more often… just like in Monaco whenever… whenever… yeah well I googled a little and I’m pretty sure it’s sleep…" I explained to JK.

"Sleep paralysis." he said it at the same time as me and looked up in horror "Please tell me you’ve told the doctors about it?" and as I shook my head slightly he pushed himself of the ground "Lizzie! For fucks sake!"

"I told Dr. Friese that I felt tense and had strong headaches. I didn’t told him the rest. How could I?" I said and JK sat down next to me.

"You said, you heard someone saying they would pull the plug on you… but you’re not supposed to know about that?" he looked at me with big eyes and I gulped.

"I was kind of awake. Sometimes I could hear the people talk, open my eyes a little crack…" I whispered and tears were streaming down my face. JK pulled me into him and rubbed my back soothingly "I didn’t tell anyone, because mum and dad already felt guilty enough that they decided to let them pull the plug on me. If they knew that I knew about it? That I heard it? That I was kinda awake the whole time? JK they would never forgive themselves!" I sobbed out and he just held me close.

"It’s going to be okay, you hear me Liz?" he said and I nodded "We might need to slow down a little. Focus more on your mental health at this point… don’t look at me like that. You’re doing great, physically! We’re far more ahead in your recovery than I thought we would be! So we can slow down a little. And I think it’s important to find you the right help… because what you went through, what you’re still going through is something I can’t help you with. So we will look for help." I sighed but nodded.

"I just don’t want anyone to find out. About everything! The coma, the sleep paralysis, the…" I stopped and JK only nodded.

"I know, Liz, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who noticed it." he said and I looked at him confused "You have an eating disorder. Don’t deny it. I’ve seen you. What you’re eating is not enough. And what you’re eating is pretty often exiting your body the way it entered. I’ve heard it."

"It’s just the stress. And I’m just not hungry anymore. Dr. Friese said it could be the trauma, the meds and stuff." I looked down at my hands.

"Yeah, that’s normal for the first 3-4 weeks. And not 3 months later. I’m sorry for being so blunt. But sometimes you need nothing more than someone being straight up with you! We will tackle that as well!" JK said it gently and I only nodded "For now, let’s get back to bed and sleep as long as you need."

I laid back down and he tucked me in, then he squeezed my hand and left. I fell asleep almost immediately

Day 25:

Another day without any message or call from Charles. Since he left a week ago I received barely any messages from him, one that he arrived safely in Maranello and had a lot going on the next day, but he said he would call in the evening, he didn’t, I asked why he didn’t call, no reply, one day later a message that he arrived in Monaco and yesterday that he’s now in Turkey. But that was it. No small talk, no jokes, no nothing. And when I tried to call him, he didn’t pick up. Maybe because of what happened, no what almost happened, he felt guilty? He had Camille after all. Maybe I should accept that she was right from the beginning, Charles’ full focus should be on her, as she was his girlfriend. Not me. Maybe I had to…

"Hello Lizzie, my name is Dr. Lindner, I’ve talked a lot about you with JK… so why don’t we start with you telling me everything that happened from let’s say the start of this year." Dr. Christian Lindner, therapist specialised in stress and trauma sequelae, was the one therapist that stood out for JK and would be the one I should confide in. He seemed to be a really nice guy, still I felt a little awkward sitting here and telling him about what happened.

"Even before the accident?" I asked and he nodded.

"Everything that changed from this year to last year. Family, friends, job. I want to know everything." he smiled encouragingly and I took a deep breath.

"Alright, good for you that we’re paying you hourly…" I joked and he laughed.

"Why do you think I chose this profession in the first place?" he countered and I laughed. Maybe this could work. He was funny.

"The year started, well not so good…" I began to tell him everything, Charles and Camille, Camille and her friends hating me, the cancellation of the WSeries for this year, me gaining some weight and Camille's comments, me trying to eat less to nothing to lose the weight again, overdoing it a little, the accident, being kind of awake, the video, me wishing I had died that day, the recovery, the sleep paralysis, Charles not talking to me anymore. As I looked up at him he smiled and handed me a box of tissues, somewhere along the way I had started to cry, I didn’t even feel it.

"Thank you Lizzie, for being this open and honest with me!" he said after he gave me a minute to gather myself.

"I swear I didn’t expect to let this all out! I’m so sorry!" I said a little embarrassed but he shook his head.

"No! Don’t apologise! This was exactly what I needed from you! It’s normal that once the floodgates are open everything comes out. That’s a good thing! This way I’ll be able to help you better. Because although your life… well I’m not one to sugarcoat things, there’s a lot of shit going on. And a lot of shit that you need help with to cope with. And that’s why I’m here. We will tackle every obstacle on its own. Step by step. I’m not setting a timeframe, we will be done when we will be done. But for now I think the most urgent matters are your anxiety, the eating disorder and your obvious feelings for Charles Leclerc." he said and I nodded but then I realised what he said at last "I’m not just a funny guy, Lizzie, this is my job. So… you and Charles and Camille? That’s also one of the main topics we’re starting with!" I nodded slowly.

Was this something I wanted to talk about every other day? No. Was this something I wanted to think about all the time? No. Will talking about it help me? Probably.

"Yay… I can’t wait…" I said sarcastically and Dr. Lindner just laughed.

"No one said that it’s going to be easy or that you would like it!" he chuckled and I just rolled my eyes "You built walls around you and I’m here to wreck them down… but don’t worry, I will stand with you on the rubble and sing “I’ve been looking for freedom”." And that made me laugh again "So, why do you think he ghosted you? Is it even ghosting when he texts you?"

"3 messages! Just to tell me that he arrived at his planned destinations! It’s just because we almost… we almost…" I sighed and shook my head "We almost kissed I think…"

"You think?" Dr. Lindner asked and I just nodded "And that’s a bad thing because? Let’s forget about Camille for a second. It’s just you and Charles."

"Just because I have these feelings, doesn’t mean he has them. And what about our friendship? I can’t live without him in my life. That’s just not possible! But what if I lose him because he doesn’t feel the same?" I said and leaned back on the sofa, hands covering my face.

"So it’s more the fear of losing him, that makes you feel like this? Not the fact that he has a girlfriend, that is not you?" he pressed and I sighed.

"Yeah, I don’t know. Both I guess?" I mumbled and he nodded.

"Alright, that’s something we can work with." he scribbled something down in his notebook and sat up a little straighter "And your anxiety and trouble with eating comes from, let me guess, Camille?" I only nodded "Yeah, that fits the pattern. It’s your own insecurities and feelings that are getting in your way. And with whatever she’s saying to you, she’s playing right into it."

"But can we fix that?" I asked quietly and Dr. Lindner nodded.

"Yes, we can. And we will. For today, I’d say it’s enough. I work out a therapy plan and I talked to JK already. He will help you with your eating. We’ll get there. Don’t worry." He got up and I did as well "I’ll see you on Monday! Goodbye!"

"Thank you, for the talk. Have a nice weekend!" I said and he smiled, before he left.

"How do you feel?" JK asked as he walked in and I sat down again.

"Better. Maybe this will work out." I answered and he nodded.

"It will." he said and I smiled a little.

"Yeah, I think so too."

Day 28:

P4. No call. No FaceTime. No message. Only pictures of him and Camille in the paddock. I texted him after the race that it was a good one and it almost was a podium. No response. JK sensed that something was off but didn’t push me to talk to him. I ate, went to bed and fought the tears. To no avail. I cried. A lot. Why did he ignore me? Was it really because of what happened? I called him, for the hundredth time and finally he picked up.

"Charles? Hi!" I began.

"Hi. This is Charles. Leave a message and I’ll call back." Voicemail.

I wanted to hang up. But all the frustration and sadness erupted and I let it all out.

"Charles… I-I don’t know what I’ve done that you’re so mad at me! I don’t know why you suddenly don’t call or text back anymore! I just… I’m sorry for what happened. Well almost happened! But it’s unfair to just cut me- I just miss you. Okay? Please just text me back! Tell me how to fix this! Tell me what I can do to fix us! Please, Charles! Please don’t leave me!" I sobbed into the phone desperately and as the announcement came, if I wanted to keep the message or delete it and re-record it, I deleted it and hung up. Then I cried myself to sleep.

Day 35:

One week of daily therapy sessions.

One week of daily meditation sessions.

One week of daily cooking classes.

One week of daily desperately checking my phone, with nothing from Charles.

One week of daily stupid jokes from JK to cheer me up.

Sleep. Eat. Therapy. Meditation. Repeat.

Day 36:

I sat buried under a ton of blankets on the sofa. Tear stained face. Headache.

"Hey princess. I thought we would go for a little walk?" JK asked as he walked in and looked around the room "Liz?" he was about to leave as he heard the rustling "Are you under there?"

"Yup." I mumbled and sat up.

"Okay. Not concerning at all. Come on. We’re going for a walk." he said and pulled me up.

"I don’t want to. I can walk just fine" I grumbled but he just grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, pushing me towards the door.

"Well, it could be better. You still need every couple of minutes a break and your legs are sore in the evening. So come on. Let’s go." he stood at the door and put his shoes on before he nudged me a little to do the same.

"Fine! Can’t be that bad." It wasn’t fine. And it was that bad. Not even halfway through I twisted my ankle a little and we had to head back home, where JK helped me on the sofa, left to get the first aid kit and then took my shoe off and checked my ankle. He was gentle and the pain wasn’t too bad, still I couldn’t help myself but tears were streaming down my face. JK looked up as I sobbed and gently pulled me into his arms. I don’t know how long we sat like this. But after a while, when no more tears were left to cry I sat up and looked up at JK. He smiled down at me and wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs. He was always so caring for me. Cheering me up. Supported me through this time. Always trying to make me feel better. I leaned in and kissed him, almost. JK pulled back and I blushed. I was shell shocked and scrambled off of the sofa, trying to walk away as fast as possible but my ankle gave in and I almost fell, JK catching me, like always.

"Lizzie, hey, look at me." he said and I shook my head.

"I’m fine, please let me go." I tried to pull away but JK didn’t budge.

"Lizzie, can we talk about this like adults?"

"No, JK. I’m sorry. I’m just- please let me go…" I whispered and the tears were back. JK gently pushed me down on the sofa and sat next to me.

"Look at me, please Lizzie." he said and I took a deep breath, before glancing up a little "It’s okay. Something like this happens quite often… it’s just normal. You’re vulnerable right now. You’ve been through a lot and usually Charles would be the one you feel attached to, because he is the one always by your side. But now it’s me. You see me as the one constant in your life right now. Like an anchor. So you’re transferring your feelings from the one you really love onto the one who gives you stability and safety at the moment. And that is me. But it’s not real feelings. Okay? It's okay. Nothing happened, it’s all good between us." he said it so gently that I swallowed hard and looked up.

"Charles and I almost kissed when he was here and now he’s ghosting me. What if… what if it’s the same with you?" I whispered and JK sighed.

"It’s not because of that, Liz." JK said and I was confused "I told him to lay a bit low for a while."

"What? Why would you do that?" I was furious and got up "You saw how hurt I was the past two and a half weeks because of that? And you didn’t say anything? Why?"

"Because first of all you had to start focusing on yourself! And not on Charles! Lizzie you were constantly checking in on him, whenever he was down, you were down and unmotivated. Your recovery was, is, more important right now and you should finally see that! And secondly, I needed you to finally face the truth that you are in love with Charles! You had to finally see that this denial is only making anything worse for you. You had to be honest to yourself and I had to trigger that. And look at that. You’re finally open up, finally be true to yourself and admit that you’re not fucking ok. So yes. Scream and shout and fight with me all you want. But you’re finally able to talk about your emotions instead of locking them inside, building walls that are higher than the fucking Sky Tower!" he was breathing heavily and I stood there contemplating what he just said. I closed my eyes and slowly sat down again. He hesitantly did the same and I looked at him for a second. Then I leaned back and laid my leg on his thighs.

"Is it sprained?" I asked and JK looked at me for a moment before he checked my ankle again "And what the fuck is the Sky Tower?" JK laughed.

"What?" he asked and took one of the bandages out.

"You said I build walls higher than the Sky Tower…" I answered and hissed a little when he secured the bandage and took a second one.

"It’s a telecommunications tower in Auckland." he said as he finished bandaging my ankle.

"I’m still mad at you. And at Charles. He shouldn’t have listened to you! How could he read all my messages and not even once answer me! And what did you tell him why he shouldn’t talk to me anymore? Not because of my feelings?" I sighed and JK only nodded.

"It’s okay, I broke your trust on this one, I’m sorry. I promise you it won’t happen again, only if you let me no other choice… just kidding! Maybe not. But anyways. I told him that you couldn’t focus on yourself if you’re always worried about him. And he couldn’t focus on his season, if he’s always worried about you. So yeah. I promised him to update him every now and then, which I did. But that was it." JK wriggled my ankle a little and as I didn’t react he carefully lifted it off and stood up "I’m sorry, Lizzie. I tried everything with you, but you wouldn’t open up to me. So I had to make you more vulnerable in order for your shell to crack." he walked out of the room and I closed my eyes. Although I was still mad at him, I understood why he did it. Why was he always right?

Day 66:

The last weeks were filled with more therapy, more meditation, more work outs to strengthen my core and built back some muscles, but mostly to get the needed nutrition back into my body. I could almost eat normally, without thinking about Camilles words with every bite I took. The anxiety induced by her almost gone. Only once was the sleep paralysis back. The last time my brain was lagging when I spoke a lot was at one of the earlier therapy sessions. When we were talking about how Camilles presence affected me. Over all I thought I was on a really good way. Charles still didn’t text me. After I texted him that I knew about what JK said and he ignored the message, again, I was worried. Didn’t he know what to say, after we’ve almost kissed? I thought he would answer. Maybe even apologise. A lot. Nothing and it hurt to know that it was this easy for him, to cut me out. Unfortunately it was something I couldn’t change, but talking about it with Dr. Lindner helped a lot.

"How do you feel today?" he asked and I shrugged a little.

"I’m nervous… in 4 days I’ll see my family again. After months. I don’t know, it’s weird. I think it was a good decision to stay alone here, to tell them not to visit me, after my feelings where such a mess after Charles left… although that wasn’t the reason, I know." I said and scratched my chin.

"How do you feel about seeing Charles again?" Dr. Lindner asked and I swallowed audibly "Ahh. That good, huh?" he chuckled.

"No, it’s fine. I mean. I know how I feel about him. And I know that these feelings are okay to have. I won’t deny them anymore to myself. But that’s it. Charles and I are friends. Best friends. Losing him would be the worst that could happen. So I have to accept these feelings. But I also have to accept that he has a girlfriend…" I answered.

"Very mature. But we talked about the effects Camille has on you? And we talked about how you have to be honest with Charles how you feel about her? How she treats you? And that she is one of the reasons for your anxiety and eating issues?" he asked and I nodded "That’s good. Really, Lizzie. You’ve come a long way in the last month. I think in the new year, we will start with 3 sessions a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday? As my office is in Stuttgart, that’s very convenient."

"I knew it! I knew you were Swabian, too! Although you tried really hard to not let it out!" I laughed and he just chuckled.

"I can hide it most definitely better than you!" I nodded at that and we both got up "Have a nice break! Relax. Talk to Charles. You’re family, tell them about the issues you’re still facing. From that on, it’s going to be easier!" he said and hugged me.

"Thank you, a lot! I feel so much better!" I said and as he released me he grinned.

"That’s why they pay me the big bucks!" and with that he left.

"Okay, Liz! I’d say the next few days we focus a bit more on cardio? And then I’ll get you back home on Sunday!" JK looked at me determined and I nodded.

Home. The first time after I left for Monaco I would be home again. The first time in months that I would see my family again. And the first time after our almost kiss, I would see Charles again, as him and Pascale, Arthur and Lorenzo were going to celebrate Christmas with us. I wasn’t scared. I was nervous. How do you tell your best friend, that you’re in love with, that his girlfriend, he’s in love with, is one of the main reasons for your anxiety and eating issues over the past months?

Merry fucking Christmas.

————————————————————————-

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 9 is out, sorry for the delay - I had a little trouble writing that one, but it’s done (finally!). Next chapter will be a little bit different. You’ll see^^

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram.

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 7 [The Thing Lay Still] - part 2/3

- AAAAAAH IT'S THE DANCE SCENE EXCUSE ME I'M NOT READY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

[Louis] "So much would be written about that grim night in New Orleans, but not a single mention of our last hour at Latrobe's, as if the only crime unfit to print took place on that dance floor." - and what do we say to homophobia, both "period-typical" and current? FUCK OFF.

It's the way they cannot… Aaah, need to say it in French, sorry. Use your translation tool. Ils ne peuvent pas se quitter des yeux un seul moment, même pas quand leurs pas de danse les forcent à se tourner le dos, Louis fermant les yeux jusqu'à ce qu'il soit de nouveau face à Lestat, ou qu'ils doivent se tenir l'un à côté de l'autre, leurs regards irrémédiablement attirés l'un par l'autre, comme deux aimants, magnétiques et plus fort que tout.

[Louis] "It was my sole duty to distract Lestat, but in his mirrored eyes, the distraction reflected back onto me. And in the dead center of the whispering gallery, I lost the thread to my plotting and fell once more into the well with no bottom. I was his, and he was mine."

I haven't said a word about Jacob's voice acting yet. But the way Louis' voice is so soft and slow. As if Louis is lost in his memories and back there, feeling all the love and the frenzy of that night, but also the pain and grief of the long decades since.

- Oof, I'm barely midway through the episode. I'm pausing it so much to not miss a single line that my player is starting to complain.

- "'Claudia, born 1903, I drank the water in 1917. I'm 36 years old.' 'Louis de Pointe du Lac. Born in 1878.i drank of the water in 1910. I am 61 years old now.' 'Lestat de Lioncourt, born 1760. I drank the waters in 1794. 180 years old… this coming November.'"

Ooooh, canon divergence! Not Louis and Claudia, them, we know, but Lestat. Born 1760 but turned in 1780 at 20 years old in the book. Interesting! I wonder why that change. There's another element given in s2, when Armand's writing his little Lesmand fanfic, but otherwise I guess s3 will give us an answer to why that tiny time change.

Meanwhile Tom fucking Anderson continues to be a nuisance.

- FINALLY. BYE TOM.

Love the music. Love the blood. Love the violence. Love the magnificent entrance of the three, in white and red. Vampires are freaking cool and the werewolf crowd can bite my a… Ahem, sorry, werewolf buddies. I got carried away.

- Aaaand goddamn Antoinette about to make her entrance. Aaaargh. But also I am very bi and she is very hot so I can't entirely hate her.

- [Lestat]"'Quite drunk this one. Rosemary… And something else. What is it, my love?' [Louis] 'I… I think it's gin.' [Lestat] 'I wasn't talking to you.'"

Bitch how dare you call someone else your love right in front of Louis, I'm offended.

Oh, wait, actually I can perfectly hate Antoinette, GET YOUR HANDS OFF CLAUDIA.

- [Claudia] "'Lestat… You must think me an idiot. 'She was at the ball tonight.' Not just the ball. You shoulda let that train go, Uncle Les.' [Lestat] 'How? Who?' [Claudia] 'He who called you him… Always the petty lights with you, Uncle Les.'"

Ah, I knew I hated Tom Anderson for more than his slimy, racist, homophobic ways. Nice planning, Claudia!

- Ooh, oh, no, baby, not the cane sword, no no no no. I hate (not) when the foreshadowing comes full circle.

- [Lestat] "Louis! We are joined by a cord, by a cord that you cannot see, but it is real. It is real. I have loved you… with all myself. I'm happy it was you… here with me… à la fin."

*cries*

No but can you imagine Lestat's anguish, the pure suffering and desperation he must have felt? Yes, yes, I know he's done plenty of wrongs, he's hurt Louis and Claudia a lot, he made mistakes after mistakes, he was prone to anger and abuse and violence.

But à la fin he's still a little boy who was neglected by his mother, abused by his father, hated by his first love, kidnapped and raped by his maker, hurt and threatened by the first vampires he's met, and was so lonely, afraid and hurt he didn't know how to love honestly even though he was deeply in love.

"Are we the sum of our worst moments", can we not feel pity and sadness for the monster in the woods? Can we not show kindness to the monster even after he's slapped our hand away, isn't kindness what could make the monster accept the hand?

I wrote a thesis about kindness being the true core of the story of Beauty and the Beast last year, about how it's true kindness and not love that Beast relearns how to be human and builds the self-esteem and self-respect needed to truly fall in love with Belle and have her fall in love with him in turn (there's more to my thesis, it's a 100 pages long, but that's the main point I wanted to make), and I can't help but draw parallels with Lestat.

Beauty and the Beast is French and it was first written in 1740, then rewritten and condensed (from 125 pages to barely 30) in 1756. Lestat definitely must have heard the tale, by the 1770s, 1780s, it was quite popular both in noble salons as in lowlier classes.

Do you think he ever fancied himself the Beast, and saw Louis as his Beauty? Do you think he ever thought he was cursed - despite claiming he never saw his condition as a vampire as a curse - and saw Louis as his salvation? Do you think he felt the fairy tale shatter irreparably around him when he realised that this time he could not keep Louis with him? Do you think in 1945 at the trial he saw himself as the Beast freed from his curse finally, heard and avenged, only to then realise that the curse was still there and stronger than ever because he had deeply misunderstood it? Do you think he spent 77 years living off rats in a dilapidated shack in the city that held his heart because his story went from Beauty and the Beast to the Ice Queen, or Koschei the Deathless, heartless and waiting for the one person that could unfroze or unbury his heart?

Ooooh, Lestat versus folktales. I think I can write a whole other thesis with just that idea. Or maybe a series of fics. Too many thoughts.

- [Louis] "The blood poured out of him as it might never pour from a human being… all the blood he had filled himself with. He lay now on his back, his eyes staring wildly at the ceiling, the irises dancing from side to side."

[Louis] "His irises rolled to the top of his head, the white went dim. This horror that had been Lestat… I stared helplessly at it. The thing lay still. There was no point in lingering."

No comment, just… Can you hear in Louis' voice the anguish, still, after so many decades…

- Huh. Bye Antoinette for real I guess, fire doesn't forgive. So no Antoinette at the Court.

- [Louis] "It was as if we'd expected Lestat to disappear in a puff of smoke or get sucked back into hell." - no but see, that's what I'm saying, the fairy tale ended and now you're left facing the very real consequences of the plot you thought you were living. Lestat ain't no fairy tale monster, just a regular (albeit vampiric) one, flesh and blood at the end. This ain't Buffy. Vampires are flesh here, animated flesh and when you kill them by any other means than fire or the sun, you are still left with the painfully visible reminder of the man that was the monster.

[I really like this part because I hadn't thought of the whole Lestat/folktale before and now I'm having a million of ideas knocking around my head.]

ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | part 1 | part 3

[melanieph321]

SEVEN DAYS OF REQUESTS 3.0

(DAY 1)

We are kicking off this week with a Nicolo Fagioli fic, now that my man is free of all his charges 🤣

Nicolo Fagioli x Reader - Spa Day

Summary - You and Nicolo have a spa day at home after your friends go on a spa day without inviting you.

Enjoy!

"We thought you were busy." Was the response from your friends when you through Instagram, discovered that they went on a spa day without you.

"Hey, babe. What's up?"

You kept scrolling through your feed, wanting all the angles of your so-called friend's enjoying themselves without you.

"Baby?"

Sure, out of the girls in your friend group you were the only one in a relationship. But why did that result in you never receving invitations to go out anymore?

"Y/N?"

"What, Nicolo?"

He was taken aback by your sudden outburst. You had seen him enter the kitchen out of the corner of your eye. However, you found it very annoying of him to try and gain your attention while you were busy stalking your friends on Instagram.

"I....I was just wondering what our plans were for today?" He stammered.

"Our plans?"

"Yes. What do you want to do today?"

You slammed your phone on the kitchen counter. "Why do you always assume that I don't have plans of my own already?"

"Do you?"

"No. But that is besides my point."

Nicolo chuckled. "Babe, what's going on?"

"Ugh, I don't know." You groand. "I just saw that my friends went on a spa day together. And when I asked them why I wasn't invited and they answered, 'we thought you were busy'.

"Bitches."

"Nicolo." You gasped.

"What? It was a bitch move of them to exclude you, no?"

"Yes. Maybe. But those are my best friends you're talking about."

"Well, your friends are bitches."

"Nicolo, this is not helping me feel better."

"I know, I'm sorry." He rounded the kitchen counter, pulling you into a well needed hug. "Tell you what."

"What?"

"What if we have a spa day at home, just you and me."

"Really, you'd do that for me?"

He looked down on you, a slight arch in his brow. "Of course. I'd do anything for you."

You wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tighter. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

The following hour, you and your boyfriend gathered all the necessities to turn your bedroom and joint bathroom into a luxury Spa. You laid out white robes for the two of you to wear, while Nicolo mixed the ingredients for your home made face masks. Once all the product's were set, along with the lit candles and sprayed essence, your DIY spa day was officially good to go.

"Baby, am I doing it right?"

You were quite impressed by how commited your boyfriend was. He went all out, even when it came to plucking your eyebrows.

"It looks great baby. Now let me do yours."

"Mine?" He frowned.

"Yes. We can wax your brows if you don't feel like plucking them."

Nicolo looked terrified. "H...how about we jump into the hot tub. I think it's hot enough now."

You shrugged your shoulders and followed him out onto your patio. Steam rose from the glimmering water of your lit hot tub. Nicolo helped remove your bathrobe and waited for you to step into the tub before doing the same.

You sighed in satisfaction as your body sank into the warm water. "Mhmm, this is so relaxing."

"More bubbles?" Nicolo said, fidgeting with the hot tub buttons.

"Sure, just not up my...." You gasped as a stream of bubbles shot up from below. "Nico, not up my ass."

"Sorry." He chuckled but did not lower the pressure of the bubbles. Instead he swam over to sit next to you, draping an arm over your shoulders.

"Thank you." You said, and leaned forward to peck his lips.

"For what?"

"For this. For going out of your way to make me feel better."

The corner of his mouth twitched into a smile. "Anything for my girl."

"You're amazing Nicolo, really." You shifted to sit in his lap, draping a leg over his thighs. "The worlds best boyfriend."

You sat facing each other, Nicolo's hand pressing flat against your shoulder blades. You captured his face in your hands, kissing him until his hand had wondered from your back to your ass. His strong arms pushed you up against his aching erection. The sensation of having him grow stiff between your legs made you moan.

"That's it baby, let it out."

You whimpered against his lips and Nicolo ate it up. Before you knew it the two of you had ditched the swimwear without a care in the world for the neighbors. You rode Nicolo with a stream of bubbles putting pressure on your clit, causing your back to fold over Nicolo's forarms with the epic release of your oragsm. He chuckled roughly against your mouth. "We should have a spa day every week, don't you think?"

"Oh, shut up."

[youboredright]

Fate Cannot Be Changed

What happens if the strongest mafia known to be the coldest man alive gets arranged married with a sweet hearted woman? Can the innocent Yn change Gojo Satoru, biggest mafia in Yakuta? Maybe or maybe not..-

Mafia Gojo Satoru X reader

(Part - 2)

Yn Pov

‌Just after waking up the first thing I saw was 7:10 am on the digital clock. I rushed to the kitchen. It has been only 3 days of our wedding I messed up.

I started making pancakes in hope I can finish them before Gojo wakes up. After around 1 hour of baking, perfecting, decorating and waiting...Gojo didn't come. Did he come before didn't see...and got disappointed? I disappointed him at the fourth day. With head full of thoughts I approached his room. I knocked few times but he didn't answer. Opening the door all I could see is a empty room. He left. I dryly laughed. What did I expect I was 20 minutes late. Of course he would not wait for me. One thing I learnt about him was that he was very punctual. I flinched when I thought of something. 'What now, will he take action.?' I am scared, because I don't know if he will or not. After all he is the mafia.

I decided to call him to check on him. What if he didn't eat anything for breakfast? What if he didn't take anything for lunch? What if he didn't have anything, it's almost 8:30 in the morning? Concern filled me up. After calling him for 3 times, he finally picked up. "Who gave you the permission to call me?" Gojo kind of yell. "I am sorry . I just called to know if you had breakfast or anythin-" " Look Yn I am working I am not like you. Free all of the time. So do something and don't disturb me." Saying that he hung up the phone. "Disturb" ? Taking care, being concern about your own husband is a act of disturbance?

Forward

‌Gojo was very late. It was almost midnight. Hearing the sound of keys I rushed to the door. "Do you know the time? Did you have dinner?" Gojo just simply ignored me and walked past me. I hold his arm to stop him.

This was the very first time I touched him other than kissing him in the wedding day. I could feel his veins in his biceps under his long sleeve shirt. It was...hot maybe? I was woken up from my thoughts when I felt Gojo dangerously leaning towards me. At this point I could feel his breath touching my face. He was drunk. He had a strong scent of cigarettes and alcohol. After leaning Gojo directly look at me "Do you know what I want? I want her back. Can you bring back Nora? No, right?"

‌Nora? Who is she? Gojo's ex? Is he still in love with her? That's why he behaves like this to me? My mind was full of thoughts. But Gojo's voice was quieter and deeper. He was calm and composed even when he was drunk. Before I could say or do anything, Gojo pushed me and walked away.

Just a few minutes ago my mind was full of thoughts about how I touched his arm but now it is full of thoughts about Nora. Even after all this treatment from Gojo, my heart ached a bit hearing that from Gojo. I went to the kitchen and straight to Gojo's room. Even if he didn't like me, I couldn't see anyone hurt or sick. I hated the fact that I cared about every one.

I didn't knock because it is useless. Going inside I saw Gojo laying on his bed. It was all dark. But I could still see Gojo's toned chest through his half opened shirt. I tried waking him up, but he didn't move. He needs to drink water and medicine before he sleeps. But then again he is a light sleeper and he was maybe he is a deep sleep after a long time. So I just decided to put his medicines on his bed side table and leave. As I stood I felt a strong pull and the next thing I knew was that Gojo.. Pinned me on the bed with my hands above my head.

‌"Who are you? Who send you?" This time his voice was deep but it was somehow scary. It felt like a thread. What made it worse was he was drunk and gave a dead stare. "Go-jo it's me. Y-n" I hated myself for stuttering. "Why are you here" I could feel he was becoming sober but he was still slightly drunk. He left my hands and sat on the bed. "Leave."

"No. Not before you have the medicines and water." I said acting all stubborn and confident but I was scared. Because I heard Gojo never takes 'no' as an answer. "And why should I trust you?" "Because I am your wife. And what will I even do, huh?" "Try to poison me?" 'Poison' him. Why would I even try to kill someon- oh right it is very normal for mafias. "I don't have the energy. to. So please have the medicine" After a lot of begging, Gojo did have the medicines.

"Why is it huge" Gojo nagged. "Oh I don't know, princess" Hearing that Gojo gave me a dead stare. "Why did you call me that.?" "Because you cannot even have a medicine properly" He just rolled his eyes. He did not yell. Was he in a good mood ... Because of maybe Nora? I did not notice I was staring at him the whole time until

"Too much in love with me? That you cannot even resist my handsome face?" Gojo was flirtatious. "No? Well I have seen better" saying that I smirked. "I don't care. Now go to your room. And don't you dare fall in love with me or any other man". His mood changed completely. He was no longer flirtatious or in a good mood. Something triggered him. I mumbled a soft 'sorry' and left not wanting to make his mood worse.

‌It was around 1 am and I was still shifting my sides to get some sleep. Do I have insomnia, now? My mind was full of thoughts about, who actually is 'Nora'. I went to kitchen to grab a glass of water. It was so quite. As I turned to return, the silence broke as the bell rang.

Something pushed me to open the door. Opening the door, I saw a tall man and a girl.The girl was probably in her mind 20s. The guy was wearing a black hoodie with grey sweatpants. Both of them covered their face by a cap and a mask. I was scared but before I could say anything. "Why didn't you sleep yet Yn." It was Gojo. "Sorry I-" "I don't need an explanation. Go to your room. And don't disturb us." I just simply nodded and left. Who was the guy? Was the girl, Nora?

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To be continued

[stanchett]

are you excited to post chapter 2 of nervous ??? i’m sure excited to read it. thanks if/when you do!!! <3

I am!! And here it is! I hope you like it anon ☺️

I’ve decided to make this more of a slow burn fic, if that’s alright with all of you. I’m really enjoying the build up of it. As always, feedback is appreciated!!

This picks up right where chapter 1 leaves off, so if you haven’t read that yet, be sure to check that out here first!!

Also thank you SO much for 400 followers!!! Ily all 🫶

Nervous, Chapter 2

Warnings: alcohol mention

1.8k+ words

Monday evening passed slowly, and you buried yourself up to your neck in your work. Glass of wine in hand, you spread out various papers and exams before you on your coffee table, determined to distract yourself from the anxiety you had about meeting Larissa in the morning. 8am sharp. The reminder echoed in your mind. Taking a long sip, you grabbed a red pen and began marking away, correcting all of their grammatical errors and mis-matched dates. Did your students pay even a shred of attention? You doubted it given the pass/fail ratio on the assignments before you. 

After a couple of hours worth of grading, you closed your eyes and rolled your neck, grateful that your thoughts were able to stray from the principal even for a short time. You glanced at your watch: 10:36pm. Exhausted, you stood from your place on the sofa and headed for the bathroom. You cranked the water in the shower to scorching hot, looking forward to washing off the day. It was exactly what you needed to relax you. You put on your coziest pajamas afterward, crawling into bed and allowing sleep to take hold of you almost immediately. 

—-------

You suddenly found yourself in your classroom, void of any students, sitting at your desk. A flood of worry flowed through you; where was everyone? Surely all the students couldn’t be late for class... Suddenly the door creaked open and in walked Larissa, storming angrily toward you. You felt your face flush a deep red, unaware of her intentions with you, but judging by the look on her face it wasn’t anything good. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, you seem to have missed our meeting this morning. Would you care to explain where you were?” She towers over you with her arms crossed, making you feel infinitely smaller from your seated position. You felt your mouth open and close a few times, the gears in your head working overtime in search of an excuse. “Well?”

“I-I’m sorry Principal Weems, I must have lost track of time-” you stuttered, knowing full well how pathetic your excuse must have sounded to her. You slowly rose from your seat with your words, your eyes locked on hers the entire time. She takes another step forward, pinning you against the desk with her body. Your head swam at the closeness. 

“Now Y/N, I think you and I both know that isn’t true,” her hands came to rest on the desk on either side of you and she leaned in close, making it impossible for you to escape. You had no choice but to look into her eyes as a thigh came to rest between both of your own. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you were avoiding me.”

You gulped audibly, your lungs burning for breath after resulting to such shallow ones at her close proximity. Her thigh was inches from your core, you could practically feel the heat of it radiating off of her. You turned your head away, unable to meet her gaze any longer but she grasped your chin and wrenched it back to force you to look at her. “I believe I can think of a way for you to make it up to me,” she said all too seductively, your eyes widening in surprise as a rush of lust overtook you. You found yourself staring at her lips and licked your own in anticipation. She inched forward, a mere breath away from you. A whimper left your chest as she waited for you to close the gap, daring you to make the last move. 

Just then the bell rang, and Larissa pulled away from you, and you found yourself shaken awake by the shrill tone of your phone’s alarm. You silenced it and covered your face with your hands in frustration, your inner thighs coated with arousal from your dream. You didn’t even have time to take care of your little predicament yourself; you were meeting with the principal in 2 hours, leaving only enough time for you to prepare for the day. It would certainly prove to be an interesting one.

—-------

Coffee in hand, you walked through the entrance of the school, bidding several students along the way good morning. You took a deep breath and headed up the stairs toward the daunting set of mahogany doors, the silver ‘Principal Weems’ placard mocking you as you took the last few steps toward them. You checked the time: 7:58. Closing your eyes and begging for a crumb of confidence, you knocked your knuckles against them. To your surprise, Larissa answered the door herself, a pleased smile on her face at your punctual arrival.

“Good morning, Y/N! How was your evening?” she asked, allowing the door to swing open to welcome you in. You took a swig of coffee, avoiding her question, and took a seat at one of the chairs before her desk. “A restful one, I hope.” You released a small gasp at that, effectively choking on the beverage in your hand. You coughed and sputtered briefly, Larissa’s previously cheerful expression now swapped for concern. “Are you alright?” 

Clearing your throat, you gave her a quick thumbs-up in confirmation. From the nature of her question, it almost seemed like she knew you’d dreamt about her the night before. She couldn’t have known… Right?

She gathered a few papers and a beige folder sitting atop her desk and waved you over to follow her, taking a seat in front of the large fireplace against the wall. You rose hesitantly from your seat and followed closely behind, settling down nervously beside her. A part of you was glad she was treating this meeting so casually, but on the other hand the couch only made for closer proximity between you. She opened the folder in her lap, twirling a pen between her fingers delicately. Your eyes studied them for a moment, her long digits and blood red nails causing your brain to short-circuit, before her words snapped you out of your daze. 

“So, how have classes been going for you, Y/N? Yesterday’s little incident aside, I haven’t heard any negative reports from students about you or your teaching methods.” She looked up at you for confirmation and you nodded slowly in agreement, thinking hard about the matter at hand and willing away any remnants of your dreams from last night. 

“Things have been going pretty smoothly, I would say. Although several students seem to be struggling with the course material.” You thought for a moment and realized this could reflect poorly on your teaching skills, but Larissa cut the passing thought short in your mind. 

“Yes, well... I’m afraid this age can be a difficult one for them. Try to show them compassion, and be sure to convey that you’re approachable with any questions or concerns they may have. It’s important for them to know they can come to you for guidance should they need it.” Her signature smile lit up her face in understanding. Sifting back through the sheets in the folder, she pulled one from the stack and handed it to you. You looked it over quickly and she handed you her pen, still warm from being toyed with between her fingers. 

“If you’ll just sign this for me, it will go on record as you passing your review,” she said excitedly. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face, looking up at her gratefully. She gazed back with so much adoration you feared your heart may burst. You signed your name quickly and handed it back to her. She slipped the sheet back into the folder and placed it on the couch between you. “We’re so pleased to have you as part of the Nevermore family; it’s a relief to see things going favorably for you.”

“Thank you Principal Weems, I’m so thrilled with your decision to keep me on!” Without the buffer of paperwork and professional talk between you, you felt your nerves begin to creep up again. Chancing a look in her direction, you peeked over to find her leaning with her elbow atop the back of the couch and her head resting in her hand, her body turned almost fully toward you with her legs crossed at the knee. She was so attractive in everything she did, Lord help you. Your thoughts clouded over with memories from last night and suddenly it became almost impossible to focus. You felt your face heat up.

“Y/N? Are you sure you’re alright?” Her voice was so gentle in asking the question, and you nearly jumped in surprise as she had caught you once again in the midst of losing yourself in your attraction to her. What really threw you for a loop was the hand that came to rest on your thigh, her thumb stroking your leg through your pants. 

“Y-yes of course, I’m fine. I’m sorry I’m just a little preoccupied, thinking about my day.” What she didn’t know was that the contact drove you insane, and you had to stop yourself from giving away the effect she had on you. The gesture was intended to be comforting, damn your crush on this woman. You swallowed thickly, and did your best to give her a reassuring smile. 

“Alright, I think that about wraps things up for us then. I do hope your students are able to behave today,” she said with a chuckle, delivering a small pat to your thigh before standing from her seat. “If anyone decides to act up, please be sure to send them my way.”

You scrambled to gather your belongings from the floor beside you, nearly knocking over the remainder of your coffee beside your bag in the process. Larissa elegantly strutted back to her desk, opening her laptop in preparation for her own morning routine. Just before you reached the door to leave, she called after you. 

“Have a lovely day, Ms. Y/L/N. Do try not to get too flustered thinking about how it will go.” You nodded politely and rushed out the door, nearly slamming it behind you in your hurry. Your first class wasn’t for another couple of hours, but you found yourself desperate for fresh air. Or a cold shower. Or both. 

—-------

Back in Larissa’s office, she smirked to herself, thinking back on how you froze up when she touched you in the slightest way. She was thoroughly satisfied with her quick thinking when she decided to snatch your planner from your open bag, hiding the small leather-bound book practically in plain sight beneath the folder as she sat on the couch beside you. After all, she needed an excuse to get you back into her office. 

This was going to be so much more fun for her than it was for you.

[fairly-fairy-shampoo]

“In Every Universe “

🌙Summary: Everything about your situationship with Yeonjun seemed perfect. There were no rules, no romantic feelings, and you stayed friends. But when jealousy leads to a falling out between the two of you, Yeonjun is forced to look inward and reevaluate his feeling for you as well was what kind of relationship he wants with you. The question is, are his feeling more powerful then fate?

genre: NSFW, FLUFF, ANGST

pairing: yeonjun × fem!reader × Soobin

Warnings: Voyeurism, Perv. Soobin, mentions of Alcohol, Dirty talking, mentions of sex

Chapter 6

It was late. Like super late. Like 1- 2 a.m. late. And Soobin was a little tipsy. Well, a little more than a little, more like super tipsy…Soobin was drunk. Like tripping over shoes that were left just lying in the waking drunk. He's always said he loves to drink but he's not good at it. He recently met a new friend, Hyungwon, through some content he had to film. He was a little nervous and awkward at the first meeting. Two introverts in an amusement park and Hyungwon Hyung being older than him. But they both got along fairly well, even going as far as to exchange information for drinks in the future. Which led him here on the verge of being piss drunk at 2:00 in the morning with only one thing on his mind. He…had…tea to spill.

The good thing about having idol friends you can trust is having someone who can relate to you and understand the same wins and hardships of the job. They can even make the experience less difficult especially when you need a break from your members which everyone does once in a while. The good thing about drinking with idol friends you trust is the tea that's spilled. It's the entertainment industry. Everyone is meant to keep a good image of this, and not hooking up or dating that, no beef. But at the end of the day they’re humans too so they’re bound to make human mistakes, which is fine. And Soobin is only human too so the talk or drama really entices him. And he's the perfect person to talk to. He listens well, gives good reactions, and never tells. Of course, unless you add his members, specify Yeonjun. Him and Yeonjun have the same love of being on the listening end of the hot drama going on behind the scenes. Only it's a bit different from Yeonjun. Everyone knows he also probably has something to share due to the sheer amount of friends and parties he attends. With Soobin, he keeps a low profile and small circle of close friends so no one expects him to have any tea himself (even though he knows it all) so when he responds ‘oh I wish I had something to tell as entertaining as that, pretty boring on my end’ it's more believable.

As he took off his shoes and headed to the kitchen for some water he had one thing on his mind. A late night tea spill with Yeonjun. Who was probably up at this hour. And if he wasn't he’ll just wake him. As he finished his water, he left the glass on the counter and started down the hallway for Yeonjun’s room. As he got closer, he couldn't tell if there was light coming from under the door but he could hear noises which was good enough for him. He practically stumbled into the door frame before he “gently” knocked on the door. Head feeling heavy, he rested it on the door and yell-whispered “Hyung…Hyung are you up I have so much to te-”

Suddenly the door swung open which almost made Soobin fall.

“Soobin! What man, not right now.” Yeonjun said with a tone of annoyance in his voice. One that Soobin’s inebriated brain could not pick up on. He giggled and stumbled back up while speaking.

“Hyung just wait till I tell you what I heard tonight about these idols from OUR company you're not gonna believe it-” Soobin finally took Yeonjun's state. No shirt on, lips very red, out of breath, sweats hanging off his hips. Sober Soobin would have put the pieces together right from the shoes in the middle of the entrance way and the very obvious boner Yeonjun was sporting. “Hey…w- wHat gOiNg on WitH YoU, LoOk wEird…” he says before furrowing his brow and looking him up and down again.

“I kinda have company over so can you please...” Yeonjun gently nods his head behind him. To which Soobin eyes follow to see very half naked you in black lace bra and shorts seated on the floor by Yeonjun’s mirror, trying not to wipe your mouth of evidence. You turn to face him slightly to give a gentle smile but all Soobin can focus on is the tops of your breasts peeking out of the black lace pushup bra. His eye lingered a little too long because Yeonjun was moving to get his attention and push him out. “I'll talk to you tomorrow man.'' As he goes to shut the door, Soobin nods goodbye, eyes still darting back and forth to you before the door closes. Now he’s just left standing there not sure what to do. He stands there a little while longer before going to wash his face and get ready for bed.

As he brushes his teeth he just stares into the nothingness, still shocked at what just happened. He keeps replaying it in his mind. He goes to wash his face with cold water and as he closes his eyes all he can see is you in the black lace push bra. You guys must have gone out for dinner tonight or something and wanted some…alone time after. ‘Cause girls don’t just wear bras like that normally, right? Do you always wear bras like that? And you are wearing black panties to match? Is it a thong?’ He thought as he started back to his room, these thoughts and the interaction sobering him up real quick. ‘And you were on your knees which can only mean you were probably…and by the mirror so you could see yourself or he could see you better. Did you like that kind of stuff?’ He wondered ‘and were you good at it. From the state Yeonjun was in you must be. And your lips, now that he thinks about it, are always so soft looking and plump. And everytime he's shaken or accidentally touches your hand they're sooo soft. He's even complimented you on it. He’d never thought he'd be sitting here with a semi, wondering how your hands and mouth would feel around his cock. “Ahhhghhhg stop stop stop.” he exhaled deeply and laid on his bed and hoped it would just go down and he can sleep this all off. That was until…

“Ohh- fuck fuck fuck! Junnie please..”

That was not Yeonjun’s voice and he knew he didn't imagine that. Soobin covered his mouth and held his breath. Making the room as silent as possible. The walls were not necessarily thin so he could hear the sound of the bed moving. So against his better judgment he moved to the wall ,pressing his ear to the wall. He held his breath afraid they would somehow know what he was doing.

“Isn't this what you wanted right? For me to fuck you like this?” That was Yeonjuns voice. Followed by the sound of broken moans and skin slapping. Soobin wonders what position you're in? Probably on all fours. God he hopes it's all four. His hands start to slowly move to palm his erection through his boxers. And from the sound of it he’s probably got your arms pulled back too. He can only imagine the look on your face. He starts to palm himself faster. His bunny teeth gently biting down on his bottom lips to hold back any sound.

“Junnieee!! Please Please I've been so good I-” Her Whimpers start turning into incoherent words.Your voice sounded so sweet.So desperate. He wondered what your tits looked like. Did you keep your bra on or take it off? Fuck it he thought finally going to stroking his length, Trying to match the unforgiving pace Yeojun set.

“I know baby -Ugh- I know, Junnie gonna give you what you want. Yeah?” Your whimpers turn into full on cries at this point signaling that you're about to cum. Soobin wants so desperately to cum with you. His hand tightens on the base dragging up as he focuses quick strokes on his sensitive head. Other hand covering his mouth to hold back his moans.

“OH GOD junie! junie baby I- Im gonna-” Soobins close too.

“I know Baby cum for me come on.” He can hear you falling apart on the other side of the wall practically screaming out. He’s still yet too tho still stroking him himself. Pre-cum making a stain on his boxers but he could care less right.

“That it baby-fuck- that its good girl. So good for me all night you gonna get your reward-ugh fuck shit- Im gonna cum, cum in this slutty little pussy fuck!” Soobin wished he was in his place fucking you like that. Cumming in you like that. And that's what sent him over the edge. Spilling himself in his boxers ,and biting his lip so hard he’d think he'd draw blood. He slid down onto his bed breathing heavily. The post nut clarity setting into what he’d just done.

~Previous- Master list -Next ~

[dutifullynuttywitch]

Close Call - Part 1

Wake the Dead

Pairing: Eva Archer x Troy Hassan

Rating: Teen (cw swearing)

Word count: 2,000

Summary: Eva is terrified that something may have happened to Brynn while out scouting.

A/N: Wake the Dead AU, takes place before WTD events. Can be read as a single shot, builds on my previous WtD fics Starlit nights, Sisterly Advice.

Art by the supremely talented @oh-so-youre-a-nerd 💛

Tagging: @choicesficwriterscreations @wakethedead-group-re-read

Eva paces back and forth nervously across the small room she shared with Brynn.

Her sister and her crew were out on a scouting expedition a days’ drive from the Tower. They had been expected back three days ago. It wasn’t the first time they’d been delayed, forced to lay low after encountering too many drones or car issues. But they’d always radio back.

Not this time.

Her mind hadn’t stopped spinning through increasingly dire scenarios as the hours went by. She’d gone through her pest control shifts on autopilot and spent the nights wide awake, too worried to sleep. Staring at that damned door, willing her sister to barge through it with her typical bravado and yet another hair-raising story to tell.

She feels a bubble of panic constrict her chest. She has to do something.

Squaring her shoulders, Eva strides across the crowded hallways over to the airlock entrance. She spots Andrew Scott, head of scouting units in a heated discussion with one of Blackstock’s goons.

“ – been having some radio issues but hopefully comms’ll be up and running again in no time. That damned antenna’s on its last leg…”

“Hey! Andrew! When the hell are you going to send a crew out there to help my sister?”

Andrew whirls around, a sympathetic look etched across his features.

“Eva –”

He’s interrupted by Blackstock’s lackey.

“Watch your language, you insolent brat. We’re not going to put another crew in danger because you decided to throw a little temper tantrum. Now run along unless you want to be put on waste disposal for the month.”

Furious, she rounds on the little man.

“Listen here, asshole, my sister and her friends are the reason the Tower even has resources like medicine, food, weapons. They risk their necks every day for this colony and you’re just gonna leave them out there?”

Andrew intervenes just as the now red-faced man signals over to two burly guards.

“Oookay, okay Eva, Melvin, let’s everyone take a deep breath. No need to escalate things, I’ll handle her.”

“Deal with her, Scott, or I will.”

The little man stares daggers at her before stalking away haughtily.

Andrew waits a beat before turning his focus back to her.

“Eva, how long have we known each other? Ya need to trust me to look out for my crew. I already asked a team to detour to Brynn’s last known location yesterday. But this, pissing off the higher-ups – not helping. You gotta tone it down. Especially if you still want to join our team in a few years.”

The towering man squeezes her shoulder sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, Andrew. I’m just really worried about Brynn… Please let me know as soon as you have news?”

“Of course. Now scram before you get us into any more hot water.”

Eva slowly walks back, dejected. She detours by the supply depot, hoping to run into Troy.

“Hey, Archer! Been wondering when I’d see your pretty face around here.”

Troy’s bright smile quickly turns into a concerned frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Brynn, she… they’ve gone missing.”

He steps out from behind the counter and wraps her in a tight hug. Eva melts into his warm embrace, letting his familiar scent surround and comfort her.

Troy’s heart breaks for her. He’s used to seeing her so strong, fearless. But right now, she feels small and fragile in his arms.

He tightens his hold on her, burying his face in her hair. She smells good, with just a hint of lavender from the contraband soaps he’d gifted her.

That scent had been driving him crazy for months.

He’s been captivated by Eva for years now, really, if he’s honest with himself.

Troy is not exactly sure when their friendship had blossomed into something more for him.

It had been gradual.

He first noticed those lovely dimples whenever she smiled. The way her blue eyes sparkled with mischief when she thought of a new prank to drive her sister up the walls.

He started getting unpleasant pangs of jealousy whenever Eva dated other men.

But it was that first evening he took her stargazing months ago, alone out on that windy balcony, Eva wrapped snuggly in his arms, he’d come to the realization he had truly fallen for his best friend.

And it had terrified him.

Eva and Brynn were the most important people he had in the world. Ever since he pantsed little Eva Archer back in first grade.

She had stolen his ration bar; Troy had reacted without thinking. After the initial shock had passed, Eva pulled her pants back on and ran after him like a little devil, yelling in outrage. Backed into a wall and terrified of this tiny red-haired tornado, Troy quickly apologized. She sized him up for a moment, then said “I’m not gonna hurt you, silly!” Little Eva wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug and gave him back the bar. He broke it in half, “Here, lets share.” From that moment, they had been inseparable.

Brynn, noticing their camaraderie and realizing Troy was all alone in the Tower, started looking out for him. She’d invite him along for meals, making sure he had his rations. Got him new clothes when his were becoming too worn down. Scolded him and Eva when they got into trouble – which was a regular occurrence. And, more recently, nagged him for his not-so-legal hobbies.

They had become his chosen family.

What if he fucked it all up?

He had a tendency to do just that, as his exes would point out.

Plus, there was the little matter of the side hustle he ran behind Blackstock’s back. God forbid they’d associate Eva too closely with him if things went south.

“Hey, watch it!”

The sudden bustle of people at change of shift snaps him back to reality.

Reminds him he’s standing in the middle of a busy hallway with an upset Eva in his arms.

He releases her clumsily, trying to clear the unwelcomed thoughts.

Troy ushers her into the confines of the supply depot, lowering the shutters for good measure. He sits her down on a tattered couch and settles in next to her.

“Eva, what happened?”

She looks down at her hands, eyes glistening.

“Andrew lost contact with Brynn and her crew three days ago. There’s another team out searching the area, but I’m worried, Troy. What if they don’t find her? What if they’re too late?”

“Hey now. Your sister’s the second most badass person I know, right after you. I swear the two of you are like fierce amazon warriors.”

Eva rolls her eyes, sniffling lightly.

“I’m not even gonna ask.”

“The point is, I know Brynn’s alright. She’s one of the best scouts the Tower’s got. And she’s careful. They’re most likely laying low somewhere. She'll be back in no time busting your ass for even worrying about her.”

“I… I’m sure you’re right, Troy. She is good at what she does. So are the others. I guess I... needed to hear it from someone else. Thanks for always being there for me.”

She forces a smile, her glistening eyes sparkling in the dim light of the cluttered room.

“Always, Eva.”

He gazes down at her, tenderness and concern reflected in his soft brown eyes as he pulls her closer into his arms, tracing soothing circles along her back. He wipes a tear from her cheeks, fingers lingering along her cheekbone.

Her breath hitches as she loses herself in his soft gaze and the warmth of his embrace.

Eva feels like a bundle of nerves from the stress, and the tingles she’s feeling from Troy’s caresses are messing with her usual self-control.

Right now, she wants to feel less the nerves constricting her chest, and more of Troy’s comforting touches.

On impulse she reaches up, tracing lithe fingers along his cheek and the dark stubble across his jaw. She unconsciously chews her lower lip.

He stares, entranced. God how he wants to reach out and kiss those lovely lips. He wonders what they’d taste like. Possibly those berry-flavoured ration bars she enjoys so much.

“Eva…”

Troy murmurs, lips ghosting hers.

She lets her instincts guide her, a need she’d been burying for so long. She closes the distance, soft lips meeting his.

Troy’s eyes widen in surprise. He cups her cheek as they kiss gently, tentatively, lips exploring in soft caresses. Bodies tingling with delight at the new but somehow familiar sensations.

“Hmm, Troy.”

He deepens the kiss at her inviting sigh, finally tasting her. Salt from her tears.

And cherries.

Troy loses the last of his self-control. His kisses become heated as he slips a hand below her shirt, skirting her lower back. Eva clings to him, responding to his every touch.

Just as their caresses become more feverish, they are startled apart by a loud banging against the shutters.

“Oi! Hassan! Open up! We’ve got crews reporting back with equipment.”

They glance at each other, eyes wide, breathless.

Troy is the first to recover, filling the awkward silence with his usual banter.

“Well, that was something, Archer… I knew you couldn’t resist this.”

He gestures at his handsome features, grinning.

Eva chuckles, cheeks flushed.

“God you’re insufferable…”

The banging against the shutters intensifies.

“Hassan!! What’s the hold up?!”

“Dammit! Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

Troy doesn’t want to let Eva go.

He’s scared that she'll realize how big of a mistake this was. Head still spinning, he quickly makes his way up to the counter.

Eva watches him go, flushed, heart pounding wildly in her chest.

Oh god, what just happened?

He pulls up the shutters and stops in his tracks, eyes wide with relief and a hint of guilt.

“Brynn!! Boy, am I glad to see you.”

At her sister’s name, Eva rushes up to the front and crashes into her arms.

“Brynn, you’re okay! What the hell happened? You had me worried…”

Brynn winces, and Eva lets her go quickly, giving her a once over. Her sister’s shirt is tattered, a dark bruise appearing to cover much of her right side. Dirk hovers protectively. Cassidy cradles an apparent broken arm as Brienne helps her stand.

Tony’s crew are right behind, carrying both teams’ weapons and crates of canned food and medical supplies.

“We were picking out meds in an outlet mall when the roof collapsed, must have been water damage. Bunch of drones fell on top of us from the second floor. Cassidy and I got trapped under a shelf. Dirk and Brienne managed to drag us out. We hid in a storage room hoping the drones would forget about the yummy human-sized snacks...”

“Looks like we got there just in time. There must have been two dozen of em’ packed into that little pharmacy. Had to lure them out to get to you.”

Tony chips in, dropping off the weapons and supplies onto the counter.

“We owe you one, Tony.”

Brynn pats him on the shoulder, grimacing through the pain.

“Nah, just glad you’re all still on the side of the living. You and Cass should hit the infirmary. You look like you’ve got a couple of cracked ribs and I’m pretty sure arms don’t bend that way.”

“You don’t say.”

Cassidy growls, clutching her bandaged arm.

“Come one, I’ll take you.”

Eva tenderly supports Brynn, avoiding the bruises.

She hesitates a moment, looking back at Troy, cheeks flushed.

“Talk later?”

“Yeah... sure.”

Troy rubs the back of his neck, dreading that conversation. He was an idiot to kiss her when she was at her most vulnerable, worried about Brynn. What if she regretted it? Hated him for it?

He sighs miserably and starts cataloguing the equipment.

The taste of salt and cherries lingers on his lips.

[kenmxaz]

'✵•.¸,✵°✵.｡.✰ CHAPTER ONE ✰.｡.✵°✵,¸.•✵'

I woke up to my alarm blaring in my ears, and turned to look over at the time. Seeing that I already overslept an entire hour, I jumped out of bed to take a shower. "Where is my phone?!" I'm always losing things in a rush. Now I'm running everywhere looking for my phone before I run out the door. "I don't even have time to eat. I'll just miss my first morning class and  make myself something quick." I made some bacon and pancakes. I sat down for a quick bite and washed my dish. I looked at the time again and it's almost 1 PM. I ran out the door and bumped into someone. "I don't have time for this..." I whispered to myself. I looked at who I bumped into and I saw a FINE ASS MAN WITH THE THICKEST ASS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. My jaw dropped at how perfect he looks. I quickly picked myself up and apologized for bumping into him. "It's okay, just slow down next time, Caraja," He said. I quickly walked away and headed to class.

What did he say? Caraja? I have heard that before but never knew what it meant. While thinking about this I was also spacing out, staring at him and I noticed a minute after. "Which class are you attending next?" he asked, looking at the agenda inside my binder flap. "O-oh, I am going to Biology class, and you?" I asked after. "Oh I'm also heading to biology, do you want me to walk with you?" He asked as he started to walk a bit into the hallway. I nodded my head and started to walk by his side. It was a bit awkward because I didn't even know his name and I was too nervous to ask him. A few seconds after walking into class he volunteered to sit next to me and even asked me my name. "My name is Y/N L/N, and yours?" I said, trying to make eye contact. "My name is Miguel O'hara." he said as he put down his bag. The teacher started to explain what we would be doing and I couldn't even pay attention because Miguel was sitting next to me. The teacher explained that we would be dissecting a frog!! Miguel was so disgusted and I heard him say something under his breath but I didn't understand. "Esta pinche maestra.." was what he said.

I looked at what Miguel had on his paper and I saw nothing yet, I was a bit worried he didn't even pay attention. "Do you need help?" I asked him, and he just looked at me. I felt so embarrassed after asking him and then he replied. "Oh, I know what I'm doing. Do you?" he asked, looking right into my eyes with his brown eyes. I looked away and started to feel hot, *Am I blushing for a guy I don't even know??* I asked myself. I thought that instead of freaking out I should get started on this dissection.. So I grabbed our supplies while Miguel was writing our names down and then we patiently waited for our frog. I was looking around the classroom waiting for our frog while Miguel said my name. "Y/N?" he asked, and I quickly turned around and we made eye contact. "You know, you have beautiful eyes. I love the color E/C." he said looking straight into them. As embarrassed as I was I couldn't handle it so I said thanks really fast stuttering and I asked to be excused to the restroom.

As I was in the restroom, I looked into the mirror and I noticed I was blushing really hard. I tried to calm myself down by splashing water on my face but while doing that I slipped on a piece of toilet paper and hit the ground. Of course it hurt but I was so distracted by the feeling I was having and didn't even notice I had got bitten by a spider. It didn't catch my eye but at the same time I FELT that it had bit me. Since it had been a really bad spider bit, and was turning red and purple I knew it had to be treated. So I walked back into the classroom and noticed Miguel got up and noticed something was wrong. "¿Que paso? What happened to you?" He asked, looking at me worried. "It's only a spider bite, but it's turning into an odd color.." I said putting my arm out so he could see. I noticed that his eyes widened and at the time I didn't know why.. He then proceeded to grab bandages and wrap my arm with it and cared for my arm. He was so caring and looked out for me for the rest of the day, sure we had awkward moments but they were all memories to remember but now.. I don't know what happened.

'✵•.¸,✵°✵.｡.✰ TIMESKIP ✰.｡.✵°✵,¸.•✵'

I started to notice Miguel was becoming a more stubborn guy and wanted everything his way and I really didn't enjoy it when he started to act that way. He started to speak more Spanish and that means getting mad more often. At that time I had a boyfriend, his name was Hobie and he was really about breaking the rules and being a rebel and that was the one thing Miguel didn't like. Since Miguel was being overly protective of me, Hobie sat me down one day and said we needed to have a serious conversation. My heart sank as I knew that when someone says "we need to talk," it usually meant something was wrong. Hobie expressed his concerns about Miguel's behavior towards me, pointing out that it wasn't healthy or fair for Miguel to treat me like his girlfriend when we weren't in a romantic relationship. Hobie, being a close friend of both of us, didn't want to interfere but felt it was necessary to bring up the issue. He explained that he didn't want our friendship to be affected, but he believed it might be best for us to break up.

I was caught off guard by Hobie's words. Deep down, I knew that Miguel's actions were not appropriate, but I had become accustomed to them and convinced myself that it was a sign of his care for me. However, Hobie's perspective made me question whether I was truly happy in this situation. Despite the love I had for Miguel, I understood that there needed to be a change.

"Hobie, you're right," I mustered the courage to respond. "I do think it's best for us to break up...but we can still be friends." My voice quivered as tears welled up in my eyes, and I could see the disappointment in Hobie's face. "Yeah, sure, we can remain friends," he replied, trying to hide his own feelings behind a forced smile. I embraced him in a tight hug, silently conveying my gratitude for his honesty and concern. With a heavy heart, we parted ways, and I made my way to my Geography class, trying to hold back the emotions swirling inside me.

As I sat in the lecture hall, the professor droned on about a mundane topic, but my mind was elsewhere. Thoughts of the conversation with Hobie and the imminent changes in my relationship with Miguel consumed my thoughts. Time seemed to slip away, and before I knew it, the bell rang, signaling the end of the class. I hurriedly gathered my belongings and made my way to the Biology lecture, where Miguel would be waiting.

As I stepped into the classroom, I spotted Miguel walking towards me. A mix of emotions flooded my heart - love, uncertainty, and a tinge of sadness. I managed to summon a smile and waved at him. We fell into step together, walking towards our seats in the lecture hall.

The professor commenced the Biology class with an infectious enthusiasm, sharing their passion for the subject matter. They explained how Anatomy is a captivating field of study that has fascinated scientists and scholars for centuries. It allows us to delve into the intricate inner workings of living organisms, particularly the human body, unraveling the secrets of our own existence. Through the study of anatomy, we gain invaluable insights into the structure and function of various organ systems that sustain life.

The professor emphasized that anatomy is not solely reserved for aspiring medical professionals; it has far-reaching relevance for anyone interested in understanding their own bodies and promoting personal well-being. Knowledge of anatomy empowers individuals to make informed choices about their health, adopt healthy lifestyles, and seek appropriate medical care when needed. Furthermore, anatomy forms the foundation for many disciplines within the biological and medical sciences, such as physiology, pathology, and medical imaging.

Reflecting on our recent frog dissection activity, the professor reminded us of the hands-on experience we had gained in understanding the internal anatomy of frogs. The dissection allowed us to explore and appreciate the intricate details of their organ systems, including the digestive system, respiratory system, circulatory system, nervous system, and reproductive system. By engaging in such practical activities, we not only deepen our understanding but also develop essential skills such as critical thinking, observation, and teamwork.

Moving forward in this class, we will have the opportunity to delve even deeper into the fascinating world of anatomy. We will go beyond dissecting frogs and explore a wide range of captivating activities designed to broaden our understanding of the diversity of life. One such activity may involve the use of anatomical models, which will allow us to study and manipulate the intricate structures of various organisms, from the smallest organisms to complex mammals.

Additionally, we will have the chance to examine histological slides under a microscope, peering into the microscopic realm to observe the intricate cellular architecture that underlies the functioning of different tissues and organs. This hands-on experience will help us appreciate the remarkable complexity and organization present at the cellular level.

In our journey through anatomy, we will also engage in virtual simulations of physiological processes. These simulations will provide a unique opportunity to witness and explore the dynamic interactions within the human body. We will be able to visualize how different systems work together harmoniously, such as observing the exchange of gases in the respiratory system or the intricate coordination of muscles in the musculoskeletal system.

Furthermore, interactive case studies will be an integral part of our learning experience. These real-life scenarios will challenge us to apply our anatomical knowledge to solve complex problems and make informed decisions. We will analyze medical cases, interpret diagnostic images, and explore the interplay between anatomical structures and physiological functions.

By participating in these diverse activities, we will not only deepen our knowledge of anatomy but also develop crucial skills that are applicable beyond the classroom. Skills such as critical thinking, problem-solving, and effective communication will be nurtured, preparing us for future endeavors in the scientific and medical fields.

As the professor concluded their lecture, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement for the journey ahead. The captivating world of anatomy offered a refuge from the emotional turmoil I had been experiencing lately. I realized that while Miguel had been overprotective, our connection was undeniable, and deep down, I longed for his presence.

Days passed, and I found myself caught in a web of conflicting emotions. I had been really depressed and felt lonely, and being around friends didn't seem to cheer me up. Seeking solace, I decided to attend a party the following week, without letting Miguel know. I hoped that a change of scenery and some new faces would help me escape the weight of my feelings.

At the party, I mingled with a few cool people and tried to distract myself from my inner turmoil. However, after a few hours, I realized that these acquaintances couldn't fill the void I was feeling. It became clear to me that what I truly needed was Miguel's support and understanding. I knew it was time to confront my emotions head-on.

With determination in my heart, I made my way to Miguel's house, unsure of what awaited me. I knocked on his door, and to my surprise, he opened it right away, welcoming me into his home. As I stepped inside, I took in the peaceful atmosphere. It was a stark contrast to the chaos of the party.

"So, this is your house?" I asked, looking around, trying to break the tension that hung in the air.

"Yeah, I live alone, but it's kind of more peaceful than being at a party," he replied, looking at me with his arms crossed.

Gathering my courage, I took a deep breath and confessed, "I'm sorry, Miguel... I-I was so dumb and didn't realize you were here the whole time. Hobie broke up with me..."

His face contorted with anger, and he blurted out, "¿¿¿QUÉ CHINGADAS??? You went to a party thinking you would get over this fucking feeling? Eres muy estúpida, seriously." Feeling hurt and defensive, I lashed back, "Just leave me alone! All you do is criticize me!"

Miguel's expression shifted from anger to disbelief, and his voice softened as he walked closer to me. "¿¿ERES EN SERIO?? I have cared for you this whole time, and THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?" he said, his voice tinged with hurt.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized the impact of my words. I had let my pain cloud my judgment, and now I had pushed away the one person who had been there for me. Regret washed over me, and I couldn't find the words to express my remorse.

"You know what, Miguel? I don't need you," I said, my voice trembling, a mix of defiance and vulnerability.

He stood there, his face a mixture of pain and longing. It was as if time stood still in that moment, the weight of our unspoken feelings hanging heavily in the air. Without uttering another word, he reached out, his hands trembling slightly, and pulled me into a desperate kiss.

My eyes widened in surprise, and I instinctively took a step back, breaking the kiss. "Miguel..." I stammered, my mind racing to comprehend the sudden shift in our dynamic.

"¿Sí, mi tesoro..?" he whispered, his voice filled with a combination of yearning and uncertainty.

Silence enveloped us as we locked eyes, the unspoken emotions swirling between us. In that moment, it became clear that our connection was too strong to be severed easily. The ups and downs of our relationship had brought us to this precipice, where we had to confront our true feelings.

With a mixture of fear and determination, I took a step forward, closing the distance between us. "Miguel, I don't want to lose you. But we need to find a balance, a healthier way to be there for each other," I said, my voice filled with a newfound resolve.

He nodded, his eyes brimming with a mix of relief and understanding. "You're right. I've been overly protective, and it's not fair to you. We can work on this together, learn from our mistakes," he replied, his voice filled with sincerity.

As we stood there, our hearts entwined in uncertainty and hope, we knew that our journey wouldn't be easy. But with open communication and a willingness to grow, we were determined to navigate the complexities of our relationship.

In that moment, we made a silent promise to each other—to embrace change, to cherish the friendship we had, and to explore the possibility of a love that could withstand the tests of time.

a while...

'✵•.¸,✵°✵.｡.✰ TO BE CONTINUED ✰.｡.✵°✵,¸.•✵'

Also on my Wattpad @kenmxaz

[fridamoss]

Is This The Love (That I'm Feelin'?) Bob Floyd X Loot (PART 4)

Archive of Our Own // Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Summary: Bob & Loot get in a boat. They have a talk!

Warnings: Curses, boners, fluff.

Word count: 3,559

‘He’s sweet and I’m seeing him again today.’ You were pacing the almost threadbare rug in your apartment, biting your thumb nail as the familiar calming voice on the other end of the line helped you through your panic.

‘I should tell him, he should know.’ Across the rug and back again, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. 

‘Then tell him, if he’s worth it, he’ll understand.’

You let your hand fall to your side, stepping toward your reflection. ‘I think…I hope he is. I mean, I think he will understand.’

‘From what you’ve told me I’m guessing he’s a good dude, I wanna date him.’ 

Huffing a laugh, you actually caught yourself smiling, just thinking of him, Bob, he was almost your Bob. Just one more thing, one more hurdle.

‘I wanna date him, I need that.’

‘You deserve it,’ your friend spoke clearly, knowing you fully deserved any happiness that you could cling on to. 

‘We both do, huh?’ 

Sighs book-ended, a silence settling. ‘Go have fun. Call me, whatever happens.’

You promised before hanging up. Running your fingers through your hair, gripping your scalp and squeezing your eyes shut. In a few hours, you’ll see Bob. Everything would be cool, he was solid, despite the shyness that seemed to render him speechless at times. 

It was hot as hell outside, the air con was rattling louder than a street-car, you needed to get the damn thing looked at. A notification popped up on the phone still in your hand. 

Bob: I packed lunch, you just gotta bring yourself. 

Excitement was creeping into your bones, replacing the worry that had stopped you getting a good nights sleep. Were you even a good person? Bob deserved the best. You wanted so desperately for that to be you.

Bob was waiting for you on the dock. You spotted him right away, his hand was shielding his eyes, looking out to sea. Khaki shorts and pristine white socks. The man looked put together, as always. You imagined his living space; a place for everything and everything in its place. 

‘Hey, you!’ 

He turned quickly, as if he was surprised by you showing up. Cracking a big smile he waved awkwardly, ‘hey, you.’

Stepping up to him, only a couple of inches shorter, you reached up and pressed a kiss to his mouth. It lingered for a moment, until he made that ‘mmm’ sound. Big hands settled on your arms, fingers wrapping around you, holding fast. 

At least you were alone, just two of you on the dock in the late afternoon sunshine, water sloshing softly against the side of the boat. 

You don’t remember when your fingers had started tugging at the roots of his hair, or your other hand squeezing gently at his ribs. 

Bob sighed, ‘you gotta stop squeezing me.’ Noses touching, eyes closed.

‘I’m ticklish,’ he admitted, grinning. 

You wanted to pull away, tell him that you wanted to talk, but these kisses were so good, his touches were gentle but demanding. He must have felt the tension a little, he gave your lips a quick kiss and squinted at you. ‘All good, Loot?’ 

‘Yeah, all good, Bob.’ You couldn’t, not now. 

Taking your hand, he lifted his heavy backpack and slung it over his shoulder. Though he was tall and slim, you could see he had that hidden strength, the type of strength when a man will lift something ridiculously heavy and not even flinch. No macho shit either. You really fucking hated that.

Bob threw his bag down into the boat with a loud thunk, grimacing when he realised there were bottles of beer in there. ‘Oops.’ 

You laughed, making him crack another smile that made you wanna jump his bones right there.

‘Hop in, m’lady.’ Bob held you steady as you stepped down safely. The boat jiggled and righted itself as Bob climbed in behind you.

‘Ok, off we go.’ 

Bob felt his cheeks aches from how much he was smiling, being out with you on the calm waters. There really was no need to go too far out, you could still see people milling about on the shore. That was just perfect. A bottle of beer was standing between your feet, both hands wrapped around your sandwich, you didn’t realise how hungry you were. 

Neither of you had eaten today, both anxious for different reasons.

Bob had butterflies in his stomach, things were going so well that he though maybe tonight you could take it a little further. In Bob’s mind, that was you coming back to his and showing you his record collection, and most definitely staying the night so he could be big spoon and feel you sleep next to him. 

He had bought eggs, just in case you liked eggs for breakfast.

‘What’re you doin’ later,’ he blurted, imagining his fingertips running across the top of your shirt, the small bit of cleavage on show for him. Coz it was for him. 

‘I was hoping we could hang out, talk some.’ You gulped the last of the cold beer. 

‘Sure we can, I’d like that. And next weekend?’ He pressed.

You raised a brow at him, just as you did the first night you’d come to talk to him at the party.

Before you could answer, Bob held out his hand to take yours, fingers intertwining across your lap. His thumb was gliding gently back and forth across the back of your hand.

The look in his eye had you melting, there was a chance you would leave your physical body and turn into water vapour that rises from the wooden fences in the morning sun, just like that memory of your child hood that would come back to you in flashes. You started. Making him almost pull his hand away until you gripped it a little harder than you meant.The look of pure hope and lust that had been on his face was eclipsed by concern.

‘Am I movin’ too fast?’ Bob whispered. 

‘No, you’re not. Maybe a little slower than I’d like but I wanna enjoy this.’ You brought his hand to your lips, kissing each knuckle while he watched, his mouth slack. He near leaped across the gap between you and let his mouth find yours in a fevered, searing kiss. His tongue slipped past your lips, tasting the beer in your mouth. 

‘Is this somewhere in the middle?’ Bob took a breath before attacking your mouth again, unwinding your entangled fingers, he placed his hands high on your ribs, bracketing your breasts. Both of you were twitching and trying to reposition yourselves to be closer, but how much of you could touch in this tiny, awkward row boat?

Shifting your butt off the ledge, you sank down into the belly of the boat, letting Bob climb over you. ‘Bob, you are so fucking sexy.’ You gasped, feeling his tongue on your neck, sucking softly down your throat, you could feel his mouth turn into a smile as he continued kissing down to the top of your breasts, his nose drew a line through your cleavage. A piece of hair fell loose, tickling your overheated skin. ‘Should I stop?’ Bob’s voice was muffled, his face pressed into the soft swell of your tits.

‘Hell no. And just for the record, I think you’re a gentleman.’ 

Bob’s hands moved achingly slow, you willed him to hurry up and start squeezing you, grind against you, anything, you’d take anything! 

Your breathy moans were sending him to the edge, he could feel you writhing underneath him within the confines of the boat and you felt so damn good. 

‘Loot, if you keep grinding against me I don’t think I can be gentlemanly much longer.’ He tasted the skin under your ear, tongue on your pulse. 

You were pulling at his hair, fuck he’d cum in a minute if this didn’t stop.

He really didn’t wanna cum in his shorts like the desperate little teenager he’d been. It was so easy to bring him to the edge with some praise, he wanted to be good for you, honestly, he wanted to be the best version of himself for you.

‘These beer bottles are digging into my back. Do you think we could take this some place else?’

Bob nodded, breathing heavily, willing for the ache in his cock to subside. Somewhat glad that you had expressed discomfort, otherwise he would have been ok taking you right here, the thoughts of your warm heat around him, squeezing his cock, hands on his ass….he was almost there. 

‘Fuck, ok, ok.’ Bob moved away from you, sitting back on his heels, watching you squirm around until you sat back on the ledge. 

You could see the bulge at the front of his pants. 

Bob’s face was flushed and he was looking anywhere but at you. Fuck, was he embarrassed.

‘Hey, I want you, I do.’

‘I know,’ he choked on an attempt to laugh. ‘Clearly I want you too. I think I….I think I always have. Since, you know, seeing you on base, a while back.’

‘I just didn’t think you’d ever see me.’ 

‘I most definitely did, I noticed those piercing blue eyes watching me every morning in the hallway.’

Bob put his hands on his knees, looking out across the water again. He didn’t want to look at you just yet. He wanted to be vulnerable and tell you exactly what he wanted, but what if you didn’t feel the same? In all honesty, Bob knew it would take him a lifetime to get over you, even after two and a half dates, he counted the making out in a the closet as a half date.

You could see he was still hard and you were aching to reach out and touch him, make him feel good. wanting to see his head thrown back in pleasure, mouth open and whining while you jerked him off.

‘Bob,’ your calm voice belied the fire in your soul. 

Finally, he turned his face to look at you. ‘Let’s get back to shore.’ 

‘Are you finishing the date early? I’m sorry if I took it too far.’ Bob swallowed hard, feeling like he would cry if you never wanted to see him again.

‘Hell no. I would like to get back and get out of this heat. Coz you are looking like a tall, cold glass of water right now.’

Bob pursed his lips, trying and failing not to laugh. ‘Well, thank you.’

Neither of you took your eyes off each other while Bob rowed back, muscles easing and tensing as he pulled the oars through the water. 

Neither of you spoke while he tied up the boat and you hopped up onto the dock with his backpack against your chest. 

Nothing on this earth would burst this bubble of want between you right now. You had to have him, he was gonna be your Bob from this moment. 

His quiet intensity mirrored yours.

‘Come on,’ he said eventually, holding out his hand. You took it, moving closer so your hips were touching while you walked. 

‘Mine or yours?’ Bob squeezed your hand while you considered. 

‘Mine.’ That was it then, the finality, he could always walk out if he didn’t like what you wanted to say.

Your air conditioning unit rattled to life while Bob took in your small living room. You had set up mood lights in nearly every free space but it was neat, tidy, girly. A fluffy cushion peeking out under a crochet blanket on the back of your armchair. Everything was set up for you, it was perfectly you. 

There were a few framed photos on the wall next to him. One was you with your graduating class from the Navy. Most were who he presumed were your friends, no one looked like you; no family. Bob scratched his chin, curious. 

‘Come sit by me,’ you laid your hand out on the cushion next to you. 

Bob settled in, moving so you could fit in next to him. And you did, you moulded in to the parts of him you fit so nicely in to while he stroked your hair and kissed your forehead. 

‘This is nice,’ he whispered sleepily. The heat of the day was catching up to you both.

‘Wanna go for a nap?’ You suggested, putting off ‘the talk’ for as long as you could. 

Bob’s eyes were puffy, a lazy grin on his face while he nodded in agreement and let you lead him to your bedroom.

Bob kicked off his shoes while you crawled up toward the pillows, opening your arms out so he could join you.

‘Uhm, is this a pants off kinda nap?’ Bob fiddled with the waistband of his shorts. 

‘Yeah, I think it’s a pants off kinda nap,’ you agreed, lifting your hips off the bed to pull off your own cut offs. 

Bob shuffled out of his, revealing a tight pair of black boxer briefs, his bulge was mouth watering. You sneaked a quick look as he shifted closer to you on the bed. He didn’t have an erection but boy, just looking at that bulge you knew he had a monster between his legs.

After a moment of smiling and not saying anything at all, he inched closer, throwing his arm around you, kissing you gently. The heated passion had dissipated for now. There were long, sweet kisses and breathing in each other before his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep, hands clasped.

You’d slept for maybe an hour before you jolted awake, Bob was still sleeping, his mouth open a little. Was it creepy to lay here and just look at him? In all surety you knew you wanted to do that for the rest of your life.

Sneaking from the bedroom you used the bathroom and checked your face, it was a little hot from the sun earlier but no damage done. You moisturised, brushed your hair and used some mouth wash before slipping back into bed next to Bob, who reached out for you immediately.

‘Where’d you go?’ His voice raspy with sleep.

‘Just to get pretty for you.’

‘You’re always pretty,’ he said, pressing his mouth into your neck. Lifting his head from the pillow suddenly, eyes wide. ‘I gotta pee real bad.’

You giggled as he hopped up, looking to you with panic in his eyes as you pointed to where your bathroom was. 

He returned with relief on his face. 

‘I hope you don’t mind I used some mouthwash.’ Bob bounced up onto the bed, full of the joys of spring, smiling down at you. 

‘I wanna kiss you some more, if you’d allow it.’ You were both a little giggly, being here together, with less clothes.

‘I will allow it, Lieutenant Floyd.’

Bob melted into you, kissing you slowly at first, breathing heavily as your tongues started to move against each other. His hand was resting on your hip for a time, you felt him moving slowing down until he began palming at your ass. An exhale became a groan, a sound so sinful from you that he doubled down on his groping. 

Lips messily finding someplace to land on exposed flesh, the symphony of your breaths was filling the small space around you. Like they were always meant to be heard that way.

‘Bob, stop.’ Your hand met his chest and pushed him, just slightly. 

His stomach dropped. ‘Ok.’ It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but he could wait, he didn’t want to force you into anything.

‘I need to tell you something,’ sitting up and wrapping your arms around your knees you waited for him to adjust himself and sit up, a crease between his eyebrows as he studied your face.

‘What is it? You can tell me anything?’ 

A whole host of things crossed his mind at that moment. 

You’d never done it before, you wanted to wait til marriage, you didn’t like him that much, you never wanted to see him again.

The blood rushed around his head, mouth drying up as he heard you say it.

‘Bob… I’m married.’

How could that be? He’d never seen you with anyone, there was no ring, no man living here, no wedding photographs. No one on on base had even warned him. 

You could see the shock wash over him, it broke your heart. He was clenching his jaw, his eyes darting around the room but looking at nothing at all. Absorbing that horrid piece of information you wished in that moment wasn’t true, that it was a bad joke. 

‘You..’ he started, clamming up. ‘Why didn’t you tell me before…’ He wanted to say before I fell for you.

Why would you lead him on like this? You felt like the worst person in the world. He looked so fucking betrayed.

‘I’m legally married, I have to tell you that. But I’m not married for any other reason other than it was for convenience…protection.’

A look of understanding replaced the pinched concern, it dawned on him.

‘Your upbringing? The cult?

You just nodded. 

He got up from the bed, the boner he’d been working on was long dead. There was nothing Loot could say right now to bring that back. Pacing, he ran his hand through his hair, across the stubble starting on his cheeks. Everything had been so perfect. 

He’d thought you were the one, you were it for him. It was crumbling, the walls collapsing in on him.

‘Bob, I wanted to tell you from the get-go but you were so perfect, I didn’t want to spoil it, I didn’t want you to tell me no straight away.’

‘So you wanted to toy with me a bit?’ Bob narrowed his eyes, no one knew how quickly Bob could spit venom if someone started fucking with him.

‘Never. That was never my intention. It was a marriage to protect me when I left home. My family has a fucked up sense of ownership.’

‘So your husband owns you? Is he gonna burst though that front door and beat the hell outta me for fucking with his wife?’

His words stung. It was bound to happen, you’d hoped he’d understand right away. But he didn’t, who would? 

‘It’s not like that, I will explain if you want to hear it.’

‘Fuck me,’ Bob felt the tears springing to his eyes, he’d let them fall, he needed them to. This hurt. 

There was silence between you, the only sounds were the struggling whirs of the air conditioner in the next room and Bob trying to breathe. He was trying to calm himself; eyes squeezed shut, hands over his ears. 

‘Do you wanna sit?’ Your voice was sad. So fucking sad, Bob thought. But he looked you like you were the last person in the world he would want to sit with. Like you just punched his grandma.

He held your gaze for a minute before grabbing his shorts from the floor. 

Usually you were strong, you could keep yourself together out of pride, you never liked anyone seeing you vulnerable. So you bit the inside of your cheek and just watched him dress. His hair had come loose from your hands, it sat across his forehead, covering his ears when he finally relaxed his hands and turned to you.

‘I just need to think about this, Loot. I’m sorry.’ 

You nodded. He disappeared without a kiss or a touch or even a backwards glance. 

Before you started to cry, you found your phone in your shorts and clicked call next to David’s name.

‘Well?’ He didn’t answer with a hello.

‘He freaked out a bit and left.’ Your shoulders slumped.

‘Oh sweetie, I’m sorry.’ He really did sound it.

You spent an hour on the phone, pacing, biting your nails. You hadn’t bothered putting your shorts back on. ‘I never date anyone on base, this is why! Now I have to go back to work on Monday and see him and he won’t look at me in the hallway like he always does. Fuck!’ 

David tried is best to be a good friend and listen, he even suggested you go find him and explain the situation, if he’d listen. You were both sure Bob would listen. 

Just as you were going to find some new clothes to wear, there was a knock at the door.

David was playing out the whole scenario for you, what to say, when to pause for Bob’s reactions when you pulled open your front door.

‘Sorry David, I gotta go, Bob is standing on my front step with flowers.’

You blindly thumbed at the hang up button and blinked at Bob.

‘Sorry, I ran out.’ His hair was still a mess. You wanted to kiss him silly. ‘I’m hell-bent on loving you, please tell me what my chances are.’

His eyes were shining, he had cried, you could tell and you wanted him so bad because of it. Bob walked into the living room when you stepped aside to let him in.

‘Loot, you’re not wearing any pants.’ He chuckled despite the tightness in his chest. 

That’s a good sign, you thought.

[landofzero-archive]

Ibara Saegusa - Private Room Chapter 2

Writer: Nishioka Maiko

Season: Autumn

(Location: CosPro Conference Area)

(One week later)

Ibara: —Yes, yes. I believe I explained that many times the other day, right? I’ll send you the materials via email.

That’s right. I’ll contact that person from here.

No. Everyone makes mistakes, so please be careful in the future. Yes, yes. Thank you. Then, please excuse me.

Haah…… Is it an email this time? Uumm……?

—Ahh, come on! What the hell is going on with this situation……!

Problems occur here and there every day! Even when I fix one problem, two more problems pop up in different places at the same time!

This is nothing short of abnormal!

Another email? Yes, yes. What happened this time?

…… What? ‘My working hours have increased too much this month, so why don’t I take some time off somewhere?’ What are they talking about……?

It’s true that I’ve been busy this month due to filming and management duties, and for the past week or so I’ve been working overtime all the time in order to deal with problems.

…… However, there’s no way I could honestly take a day off in this current situation. This is a person who doesn’t know the situation, so……

(No…… Wait. It’s certainly not the time to take a long break.

Recently, the real situation of major agencies with black labor systems has been a hot topic…… (1)

The public will be looking for the next sacrificial company to pop up in the news in a chain reaction.

Under such circumstances, it would be too risky for me to collapse from overwork as the deputy director……)

Damn…… I have no choice. I’ll quickly finish my day off tomorrow and return to the front line as soon as possible.

(Location: Starmony Dorms (Exterior))

Aira: Uummm…… Copy and paste the inquiry number here. All I have to do is start the inquiry~

—The status is complete! It’s almost arrived! My oshi’s national tour disc♪

What a reli~ef. I thought it would arrive later. I have plenty of time before I go to bed, so I’m gonna enjoy this to the fu~llest today.

That’s why I bought a lot of sweets and drinks. I won’t be leaving my room after today……!

Nazuna: O~i, Aira-chin. Isn’t it dangerous to walk while looking at your phone~?

Aira: Ah, Nito-senpai! Sorry. I couldn’t help but wonder if my package had arrived. Ehehee.

Nazuna: Package? Oh, were you tracking your courier package?

I understand why you’re worried about its status, but it’s still dangerous. By the way, what kind of package are you getting?

Aira: It’s the national tour disc for my favorite idol! I’ve been looking forward to its release!

Right now, my roommates Sakuma-senpai and Tenshouin-senpai are away at a long-term location shoot.

So even if I make noise, I won’t bother anyone, and I think I’ll have a good time at my solo viewing party.

I’m planning to go back to my room and start right away— hm?

Huh? Is there some kind of contractor at the dorms right now?

It looks like there are long pipes being brought in and large trucks going in and out. Outsiders also seem to be wandering around? Is there something going on?

Nazuna: Ahh…… Come to think of it, I heard that there was a problem with the water pipes on our floor and that the repair work begins today.

Aira: Ehh!? Construction!?

Th-This can’t be happening~…… Even though I just wanted to enjoy my disc quietly today~……

Nazuna: Ah. But from what I heard, the construction work will be done in the morning. Aren’t they just doing the demolition work now?

So I think we can have some quiet time after this~

Aira: Wh- that’s good news……♪ Then I don’t have to worry! See ya, Nito-senpai. I’m gonna pick up my luggage right away!

Nazuna: Alright, have fun. Bye~♪

(Location: Starmony Dorm Room (Eichi, Rei, Aira's Room))

Aira: I’m back~☆

– Even though I said that, Sakuma-senpai and Tenshouin-senpai are away for a few days due to long-term location work so there’s no way I’d get a reply.

In the end, I feel a little lonely without my seniors……

Well, it can’t be helped. It’s work. And that’s why I can watch discs without hesitation.

Ah, that’s right! I have to open the package right away! I have to be careful not to damage the package inside……

Uwaai♪ As expected of the first limited edition! There’s lots of bonuses!

Arrange the goods and discs neatly~. Take a photo! Alright! I’ll upload it to SNS later♪

Then, let’s finally have the viewing party for today’s main event—

Hmm? My face feels a little sticky. Maybe there’s still some foundation left over from work this morning……?

It’s hard to lie down in bed like this. I’ll wash my face before the viewing party.

Once I start watching it, I don’t want to be distracted by anything else. I have to be fully prepared!

…… Huhh? Even though I’ve turned the faucet all the way, the water isn’t coming out…… Isn’t that weird?

It was normal until this morning. It doesn’t look like there’s anything particularly wrong with the lower pipe.

Could it be that the water in the room is off because they’re doing repair work on the water system……?

Ehh? That’s a problem~……! I just wanted to wash my face and have a watch party.

Get the water flowing! Hey, hey!

—Eh!? The handle of the faucet came off!? UWAWAWAWAWAWA!? THE WATER’S GUSHING OU~T!?

W-Wait a minute! Can someone please stop thiiiiiiiiis!?

---

TL NOTES:

Black labor systems are systems where corporations operate with exploitative working conditions or a toxic company culture. They typically hire lots of young workers only to then force them to work large amounts of overtime without overtime pay (hence why Ibara doing so much overtime could cause a scandal for CosPro).

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