#roller unity

[samanthalynnsstuff]

"We got wheels, that makes us better. Why judge each other, when we can judge everybody else together?" 🎶

Day 4 of daily Buddy System song fan art!

I could jam out to Roller Unity all day! They really killed it with the roller skates and the outfits! Rhett and Link's outfits when they perform the song are very vibrant and unique and I love them so much.

[whirlytail]

💔🤝✌️🙏🎢

💯🙏💛🟨👍

[win-or-loser]

A New Sport

I just finished Win Or Lose and I am OBSESSED. I had an idea of what Laurie would do after quitting softball and the urge to write was toooooo strong. I hope you like it, and if you don't then I don't care! I wrote this for me! :3

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It was the right choice for Laurie to quit softball. In the passing weeks, she felt calmer, happier, and she hadn't heard from Sweaty since the night of the championship (with the exception of a couple of tests, but that felt like a different matter.) With every week that came and went she felt herself feeling more like... well, herself. She started painting and drawing, and she was pretty good at it. She started learning the violin, and it sounded like a dying cat every time she played, but you gotta start somewhere! But as softball season crept closer and closer, and practices started happening more often, she started to feel left out.

She went to every game, cheering her friends on from the stands, but she still felt like she was missing something. Kai, Rochelle, and Taylor were all laughing at new inside jokes she wasn't a part of, Yuwen and Tom somehow started getting along and wouldn't stop calling each other "bro", and the new kid, Sammy, who took her place was leaps and bounds ahead of her in terms of skill. They were all still friends, of course. And Sammy was pretty cool. But every outing, every school lunch, every sleepover, she felt a little pushed aside. Like she wasn't part of the "in" crowd anymore. She wanted to get back that feeling of unity. That sense of belonging. Of being a part of a team. Something bigger than yourself, where every person and piece, no matter how small, made some kind of contribution to help score a win.

She needed a new sport.

"They're having some soccer tryouts at school," she mentioned to her mom at dinner.

"Oh, that's nice. Do you want to give it a try? You could reuse your softball cleats!"

She somehow managed to hit the ball into the face of both goalies, three teammates, and herself. Soccer was not a good choice.

"I heard the youth club has a volleyball team!" Paula said as she drove them both to their dad's. "Maybe you'd be better at that."

The uniform kept giving her a wedgie and all the girls were mean. Also, she lacked hand-eye coordination. No volleyball.

"Basketball?" Her dad suggested.

The girls were all twice her size, she kept getting hit in the face, and hand-eye coordination again. Basketball, 1. Laurie, 0.

"Maybe tennis."

Hand-eye coordination.

"Track and field!"

She almost died after running one lap.

"Ice hockey?"

No teams nearby to even try that option.

Every failure left her feeling smaller and smaller. Was there any sport she was good at? She almost felt like giving up at this point.

She waited around during practice, watching over the fence as her friends honed their pitches, swings, and catches. She did little cheers for them as they went up to bat and whooped and hollered for every hit. Her voice was sore when they all walked off the field, rushing over for a hug or high five.

"Hey, Laur!" Rochelle hugged her tight. Was she gaining some muscle? She seemed stronger than when they hung out last time. "How's the search been?"

"Could be better..." She said sheepishly.

"Search for what?" Sammy asked from his spot on the ground as he took off his cleats.

"A new sport. Just been feeling kinda bored without something pass the time, ya know?" It wasn't a total lie, but also wasn't the total truth.

"I get that. Anyway, I need to help my mom with dinner and do my chores." Sammy stood up, now wearing a pair of roller skates, and started skating away. "See you guys at school!"

"See ya!" Everyone shouted, waving a quick goodbye to the disappearing boy.

"It's still a few hours before most of us have to go home," Laurie said. "Wanna ride around and see if there's anything to do?"

"Absolutely!"

"Sure!"

"I got nothing better to do."

And off they went on bikes, skateboards, and roller skates, rolling around Peaks Valley to pass the time before they inevitably had to call it a day.

"So you've tried every sport?" Kai asked, slowing down a bit to keep up with Laurie's speed.

"Yeah. I've tried basically everything in Peaks Valley," Laurie said with solemn tone. "I'm just... I'm not good at anything."

"That's just a hobby."

"Don't say that!" Kai reached over and playfully shoved her shoulder. "There's got to be something you're good at. What about your art?"

"But if you work at it, you could be a professional artist and sell it to galleries and stuff."

"Yeah, and when you die, it'll be worth millions!" Oh God, Sweaty was back.

"You gotta remember me when you're a famous painter," Kai said with a playful smirk.

Kai just smiled and shook her head. "As if that'll ever happen..."

Laurie smiled back. "And you better remember me when you're a professional athlete."

"C'mon, slow pokes!" Yuwen yelled from up the sidewalk. "Keep up!"

"We're coming!" Kai sped up on her bike, leaving Laurie struggling in the dust.

Her legs started to hurt, so Laurie stopped and rested. Leaning against the community board outside the park, she watched her friends turn the corner and sighed softly.

"We're probably slowing them down," Sweaty said in her ear. "We should go home."

"You should go home." Laurie swatted at her face, pushing Sweaty away as she tried to catch her breath. She looked up at the posters and fliers, trying to keep her mind occupied. Missing pets and rewards, babysitting services, sports tryouts (that she already failed at). She sighed and went to get back on her bike before something caught her eye. A small poster, hidden by all the others stacked on the board. She reached out and tore it off, holding it close.

"Junior Roller Derby..." It was faded, warped with rain damage. There were two kids drawn on, shoving at each other with their shoulders, decked out in protective pads and wearing roller skates. "Tryouts in River City, April 5th and 6th..." She pulled out her phone, about to search something up before she heard someone skidding in front of her.

"Laur?" Rochelle asked, looking worried. "You coming?"

"Yeah. I just needed a minute." She shoved her phone and the poster back into her pocket, racing off with Rochelle and trying to keep up.

The group rolled around a little bit longer, until the sunset painted their town in golden and orange hues. They rode with everyone to their houses, saying reluctant goodbyes as their group got smaller and smaller until Laurie was riding home alone, her path lit up by the occasional street lights as she went to her mom's house for the night. She tossed her bike in the yard like usual, rushing in and grabbing a plate of food.

"Hi, sweetie! Did you have-"

"Can't talk gotta research love you bye." Laurie took her plate of food and raced upstairs, going to her little laptop and opening way too many chrome tabs. What is roller derby, what are the rules of roller derby, what gear do you need for roller derby, buy skates good cheap, buy pads good cheap, buy skating pads good cheap. She stayed up late into the night, looking up everything she needed, everything she had to practice, all the rules and regulations.

River City was pretty close, so it was still technically a local team. This was the last sport she could try. Her last chance to prove to herself she was good at something. She had one month to tryouts. Hopefully it was enough time...

[leam1983]

2024 in Gaming

Helldivers 2: it's become a running joke with the polycule, and approval with Progressive opinions or talking points now gets at least one of the three of us to jokingly pull out their smartphone to "call their Democracy Officer to report a case of treasonous activity"...

Walt isn't any better, but he's unlocked a few rocket-propelled weapons and now feels better sitting behind myself and Sarah while pelting the enemies ahead with weaponized Freedom.

Balatro: Walt and I's new favourite casual game, wherein appearance of it being a cutesy little variant on Poker suites turns into virtual crack. I've woken up in the wee hours to Walt's face bathed in his phone's OLED screen. When I ask him what's wrong, he typically replies something to the tune of "I need four thousand Chips, babe."

Marvel Rivals: it does what Overwatch 2 don't. As in, it's fun. Me, Walt, Sarah and a few of the boys on an all-Rocket Raccon match? You betcha! Also, there's Jeff the Land Shark, and Jeff the Land Shark deserves the world. Nay, the universe.

Astro Bot: didn't finish it, but I loved what Team Asobi cooked up. It's the most genuine, heartfelt, cutesy and engaging piece of corporate PR and Engineering porn to ever exist. Every button pressed during an Astro Bot session twiddles Mark Cerny's fun bits remotely.

Elden Ring - Shadow of the Erdtree: bought it because I approve of the design ethos behind this DLC's existence, never played it because I suuck at FromSoft games. I made sure to watch some related content so I could point and laugh awkwardly if friends of mine greet me with a random cry of "BAYYYYLE!"

Worshippers of Chtulhu: Anno with a Lovecraftian twist. It's very broken, still very much in Early Access, but the promise is definitely there.

Park Beyond: Meh. Got it for cheap, I guess we're still not getting a decent heirloom to Roller Coaster Tycoon, after the Micromanagement nightmare that Planet Coaster turned out to be for me.

1000xResist: basically a Yoko Taro game not written or directed by Yoko Taro, and it's one of the deeper game-based experiences I've had in a long while. Strongly recommended.

The Cabin Factory: Spot the Difference for easily-frightened streamers who haven't played Exit 8 yet. It has an interesting narrative format and is one of the more surprising implementations of Unity Engine I've seen to date. I could've sworn this was a UE5 project! Beyond that, it's nothing special, but it's priced accordingly.

Clickolding: if Cookie Clicker had an uncanny sense of atmosphere and managed to creep you out with nothing except a sparsely-animated antagonist and a rising click counter, you'd have a sense of what this feels like. It does a very effective job at making you want to be as compliant and possible.

Daemonologie: The Salem Witch Trials in game form, or Ace Attorney if Phoenix wore a Quaker hat and had a fixation on nakey women doing odd shit in the forest. Very tense and minimalist, and very, very worthwhile.

Cryptmaster: it's basically a spruced-up oldschool MUD, with 3D black-and-white graphics and four zombified D&D character archetypes you control simultaneously, by either using your Arrow keys to move the entire party at once, or typing in the words that correspond to abilities or attacks. Very, very, very British humour is on offer, along with a script-writer that managed to predict most stupidly filthy prompts you're likely to try at any given point. It's hilarious and kludgey in just the right way, especially if you remember the nineties' MindMaze on Encarta '95.

Liar's Bar: Russian Roulette for Furries with a decent voIP chat integration. It's shallow and stupid fun, and the subject matter makes people behave in increasingly crude ways as the session goes on. If you're like me, you'll swear you played a round or two against a guy who was actually stone-dead-drunk and who actually had nothing to lose...

Silent Hill 2 Remake: finally, Silent Hill's fog doesn't feel like a performance-saving measure and actually creeps me the fuck out. It makes me feel terrible and has me contemplate not playing it, but it does make sense. Kudos to Bloober Team for finally manage to ground this one heck of a weirdo title.

Indiana Jones and the Great Circle: take Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Dial of Destiny, burn all copies, consign the masters to Disney's oubliette, thank Harrison Ford for his decades of diligent service and pass the fedora and bullwhip to Troy Baker, 'cause Machine Games and Bethesda have managed to find themselves yet another prime title to fuck Fascists up using fisticuffs or blunt weaponry. It's a great callback to Machine Games' own contribution to Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, seeing as every single level in the game has the granular detail of their version of Prague. Slap some John Williams on, add the authentic audio samples for whip cracks and punches, lifted straight out of the movies. I haven't had as much fun raiding tombs or poking through lovingly-reconstructed real places since Nolan North last lent his voice pipes to Nathan Drake.

Imagine my surprise, when the Sistine Chapel turned out to be about the size of our condo building's parking lot! That's tiny! The more you know, I guess!

Star Wars Outlaws: this is what happens when a studio really, really, really wants to give the IP due diligence, but its decades of re-iterated design docs ruin the experience. Kay Vess isn't a galactic scoundrel; she's basically every Far Cry protagonist ever, except in third-person!

The Forever Winter: all crunch, no fun. An incredibly engaging premise, but the mistaken notion that the average gamer has several three-to-four-blocks to devote to this each and every single day. Worth at least a YouTube ride-along, to see the incredible work the Art Design team's pulled together.

Disney's Epic Mickey - Rebrushed: Warren Spector's poorly-received baby and love letter to classic animation gets its just desserts on PC. It's not super complex with only two basic mechanics based off of two buttons on a controller, but it managed to use an extremely limited toolset to great effect, even throwing in what feels like a younger relative's first potential exposure to the Immersive Sim concept of looking for unmarked routes through a level. The in-between side-scrolling levels are oozing charm, and essentially feel like some part of Spector wanted to play in the same ballpark as American McGee's Alice.

If anything, it cements the idea that non-verbal instances of Mickey Mouse should never be left in the same room as a magical implement or toolset. Ever. Verbal Mickeys can push past their childlike glee and reason accordingly, but the oldschool button-eyed and non-verbal originator is not to be trusted.

STALKER 2: Heart of Chernobyl: Have fun losing half your health because the ARMA-esque mechanics decide that grazing damage means holy shit, you almost died! Especially, have fun getting knocked flat out on your ass by mutants - over and over and over...

To be played in subtitled Ukranian out of implicit support, and to have fun with the Slavic definition of an acting range. It's like watching the second season of Squid Game, except you get the sense that their scale goes from Nonchalant to Pants-Pissingly Terrified with very little grading in-between.

And now, for Games I didn't really get into until 2024...

Valfaris and Valfaris II: Mecha Therion: side-scrollers that do their damndest to look like they stepped straight out of the pages of Heavy Metal as of the mid-eighties. Gorgeously grotesque pixel art meets with a banging soundtrack made up of certified shredders. The lead headbangs and throws the horns when he finishes a stage!

Brütal Legend: an oldie but a goodie, previously constrained to the PS3 but now quite cozy on my Steam Deck. It's got a semi-cohesive grab-bag of mechanics, sure, but it's got even more heart, along with a pre-stroke Tim Curry voicing the villain with the gooiest of all countenances. Imagine Shere Khan, but Metal as fuck.

Katamari Damacy: Re-Roll: I barely touched the original when it came out. Having managed to grab the PC port for cheap and knowing how well it plays with a Steam Deck, the Prince of All Cosmos' ball-rolling sojourn across the surface of our planet has turned into a nightly staple for me.

Baldur's Gate 3: Yes, I know, I'm late, you've all banged Astarion sixteen times by now, but I've got time for a long-form WRPG right now. I might not have this much free time once January 10th rolls around.

The Night Cage: not a vidya, but a really nerve-wracking tabletop game that's made for quite a few fun Friday nights at La Casa de Gremlin.

On My Backlog, You'll Find...

Metaphor: Re-Fantazio: I know it's beloved by all, but it feels so "so far, so ATLUS" to me, and I still haven't gotten over P4, P3 and P5's excellent PC ports. I also have Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne to go through, so I really don't know if I have it in me to tackle something in that same vein quite so soon.

Arizona Sunshine 1 & 2: I just can't be bothered to set up my Oculus Rift 2's Link Cable. I have the games, I just don't know if and when I'll play them.

Dead Rising Deluxe Remaster: I'm waiting until my old cheese strats fade into the back of my mind before I tackle this one. Plus, I'm torn about Frank West not being voiced by TJ Rotolo. He doesn't just... feels like he's covered wars, y'know?

Frostpunk 2: bought it to support the devs, am just not jazzed about having to sort of network my way across several simultaneous points of origin until the depressing version of a Dieselpunk sprawl covers the map.

The Yakuza series on Amazon Prime: SEGA's trying to become the Disney of gaming, but something about Kazuma Kiryu's story (or stories) have always felt distinctly and uniquely Japanese to me. As in, it requires a specific mindset and might not be for everyone. I'm waiting for a sign, basically - maybe one to pop my collar and rent a karaoke machine so I can belt out maudlin soliloquies to lost childhood innocence while smoking half a pack of cigs between every third or fourth stanza...

The Sonic Movies: yeah, sure, I'm in my forties, but Jim Carrey's going through a career renaissance by acting out Albert Einstein on crack. Yeah, sure, it's not either of my Robotniks (the Jim Cummings or Long John Baldry versions - for the memes) - but it seems like it might still be a trilogy of adaptations worth pursuing.

Plus, hey, I gotta start catching up on that Stobotnik shit, huh?

[dioslesbianwife]

Amusement park headcannons for Jofoes!

•••🎡•••

Dio scoffs at the crowds and demands the park staff treat him as a VIP. They keep trying to tell him you just have to purchase a special pass to skip lines.

Kars sees the park as a monument to human stupidity. Though he will be pretty interested in the technological advancements used in the rides.

Wamuu does not understand the rides nor why humans seem to derive so much joy from them, but he will like any attractions that involve a test of strength (like a high striker or strongman game).

Esidisi doesn’t care much for the rides and sticks with Kars. They speak in some ancient language as they murmur praises and critiques of the machinery. The two end up getting the attention of some other people as they assume by their clothing they’re characters from one of the rides.

Pucci remains calm and composed but secretly looks forward to spending time with Dio. He gets a headache from all the commotion going on around them though.

Diavolo is immediately suspicious of the crowd and tries to blend in to avoid being noticed. Doppio is the one who enjoys the idea of the park, though Diavolo hates the unpredictability of it. Doppio gets a hat and a tshirt while at a gift shop- which Diavolo hates.

Kira hates the idea of being surrounded by noisy people. He sticks to the quietest areas of the park, like flower gardens or shaded benches. He can already feel his nails growing.

Diego treats the park like it’s beneath him, but it becomes clear he’s looking for a competition. He challenges others to beat his scores at carnival games or ride the scariest attractions without flinching, all while trying to act uninterested.

Valentine insists on going to see any historically themed rides. He walks with an air of dignity, even in a chaotic park. He’d enjoy any gallery sections or interactive viewing experience type attractions.

Dio rides the biggest roller coasters without flinching, just to prove his superiority. He mocks anyone who screams or hesitates.

Kars claims the rides are beneath him but enjoys the adrenaline rush. He remains stoic, even on the scariest attractions.

Wamuu keeps a straight face on thrill rides but does enjoy them. He’s interested in what humans consider to be a show of bravery.

Esidisi doesn’t care about the ride so long as he’s next to Kars. He’ll act just as unimpressed but will be smug if he sees anyone get scared.

Pucci definitely prefers gentler rides but agrees to join Dio on a few coasters (he told him he’d just watch from a park bench but Dio dragged him on), quietly clutching the safety bar while reciting prayers.

Diavolo hates being out of control, so he avoids coasters entirely. Doppio wants to experience at least a few rides, so he convinces Diavolo to let him be for a little. He gets motion sick.

Kira flat out refuses to go on any thrill rides. He sticks to the carousel and ferris wheel, enjoying the quiet and simplicity.

Diego wishes the rides were scarier. He unintentionally gains a small following of girls who fawn over how brave he is. He only encourages it by recounting stories of his most intense horse racing days.

Valentine will only ride attractions that feel "respectable," like ferris wheels. He uses the ferris wheel to deliver long speeches about unity and greatness to whoever was unfortunate enough to get seated with him.

Carnival Games

Dio wins everything effortlessly. He walks away with armfuls of prizes and flaunts them. He later tosses them though.

Kars learns the mechanics of the games instantly and dominates, but finds the rewards trivial. He gives his prizes to Wamuu.

Wamuu loves games like the hammer slam. He accidentally breaks the machine and apologizes but is a bit confused why it’s so “easy”.

Esidisi gets overly competitive, drawing a crowd with his dramatic reactions when he wins or loses.

Pucci calmly plays a few games but doesn’t care much about winning. He’s more focused on keeping the group from causing too much damage. He convinces Dio at one point to stop pettily winning all the prizes before the kids at the park get a turn.

Diavolo doesn’t want to participate at first, irritated that the games are rigged. When he sees Kira look at a cat themed prize though, he goes at one of the machines until he wins it.

Kira avoids games altogether, considering them beneath him. He watches from a distance, annoyed by the noise. He thanks Diavolo for the prize he gave him, despite Diavolo insisting it was just an easy win (as if he didn’t spend half an hour yelling at the claw machine).

Diego is very competitive and enjoys beating the people at the stalls. He accuses the games of being rigged against him when he loses.

Valentine wins at least one game to set an example of "American excellence" and gives his prize to a random child, delivering a heartfelt speech about kindness.

Food Stalls

Dio refuses to eat the "peasant food" offered in the park.

Kars considers the food primitive and does not eat it.

Wamuu will try any type of food at least once, but he mostly just sticks to meaty dishes.

Esidisi wants spicy food and complains there’s nothing hot enough for his taste.

Pucci politely declines any junk food offers.

Diavolo doesn’t eat in public, but Doppio buys ice cream and accidentally drops it on his shoe, which infuriates Diavolo.

Kira brings his own packed lunch to avoid eating messy park food. He eats it in the most secluded spot he can find.

Diego is one of the only ones who knows how to enjoy some good park food.

Valentine chooses a classic hot dog.

Afterwards-

The group is banned from the amusement park for causing property damage, breaking ride equipment, and scaring the staff.

[selkiechild4998]

I just want to say this for my US followers. Everything will be ok. Things may seem dark, they are for a lot of people but we’ll be ok. We’ll survive. Remember, media often times isn’t meant to be trusted, they feed off of your fear and outrage. Don’t give them that reaction.

We survived 2016. We survived 2020. We’ll survive 2024.

Stay strong, don’t loose hope. This world maybe scary. But there is still beauty for you to see in this world. There are still friends to make, memories to be made.

Remember what Papa told us. Life is a roller coaster filled with ups and downs. We are just in a down part. Things will come back up.

Edit: I’ve noticed people in the community on all platforms sending death threats to those who voted. It doesn’t matter if you voted red, blue, or purple. Death threats are NEVER acceptable.

I understand the anger many people feel right now, but attacking others because you are hurting doesn’t solve anything.

Your giving the politicians what they want.

They do not want unity. They do not want both political parties getting along. They want discourse. They want chaos.

Polities from both parties do not care for us. They never did.

Please. Don’t forget to show kindness to each other. Talk to people. Do not put yourself in an echo chamber of people who share your views.

Not everyone with opposing views to you is your enemy. There is enough darkness and cruelty in the world. Don’t add to it.

[blimbo-buddy]

The absolute narrative roller coaster of bloodclan going from:

Godless heathens who are brutes and who need to be demolished in battle (The Darkest Hour) -> -> A complex community brought together by a homeless child, providing a sense of social justice, unity, and protection in a world that would otherwise chew them up and spit them out (The Rise of Scourge) -> -> Never mind they hate families and will kill you if you show any sort of care towards your sister or something (RavenPaw's Path)

[queereads-bracket]

Queer Fiction Free-for-All Book Bracket Tournament: Round 1C

Book summaries below:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

standing on the fringes of life... offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor. This haunting novel about the dilemma of passivity vs. passion marks the stunning debut of a provocative new voice in contemporary fiction: The Perks of Being A WALLFLOWER This is the story of what it's like to grow up in high school. More intimate than a diary, Charlie's letters are singular and unique, hilarious and devastating. We may not know where he lives. We may not know to whom he is writing. All we know is the world he shares. Caught between trying to live his life and trying to run from it puts him on a strange course through uncharted territory. The world of first dates and mixed tapes, family dramas and new friends. The world of sex, drugs, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, when all one requires is that the perfect song on that perfect drive to feel infinite. Through Charlie, Stephen Chbosky has created a deeply affecting coming-of-age story, a powerful novel that will spirit you back to those wild and poignant roller coaster days known as growing up.

Coming of age, epistolary, young adult

The Alliance Trilogy (Sneak, Liar, Traitor) by E. Jade Lomax

A century ago, the general chosen to lead the armies of the Nerian Alliance against their shared enemies deposed the allied kings he served.

With loyal soldiers behind him, the general conquered their three kingdoms in the name of unity and strength.

Now, the vast swathe of land that was the Alliance is known simply as Neria. The old borders and the old ways are forgotten— by most.

This is the story of a princess called Sasha and a rebel named Andrea, neither of whom are as righteous as they think they are.

It is the story of Will, an ambitious amateur spy, and Gabrielle, the equally ambitious youngest princess, who are not as smart as they think they are.

This is Gregory’s story, about a shy young mountain lad who is not as useless as he thinks, who is not as harmless as he thinks.

They all have a long way to go.

Fantasy, epic fantasy, secondary world, series, young adult

[yddaw]

I’ve attempted/learned to: 3D model, write geometry nodes, sketch, digitally paint, web design, write HTML/CSS, write JavaScript, graphic design, logo design, vector design, stream, thumbnail design, React, Unity, color theory, create systems, publish content, compose music, journal, writing documentation, pixel art, precise roller coaster recreation, VR world building, 3D sculpting, composition, UV unwrapping, texturing, weight painting, etc…

Like, I do all of this in my free time. But how do I leverage these skills to make something… idk worth it? Especially to other people?

[mariacallous]

Ukraine’s roller coaster relationship with the Trump administration entered a new downward spiral on February 28 when Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s White House visit ended abruptly after a televised meeting escalated into a very public spat with US President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance.

Trump and Zelenskyy had been due to sign off on a landmark minerals partnership agreement that was intended to strengthen ties between Kyiv and Washington, DC, but the two leaders instead became embroiled in an increasingly angry exchange in front of the cameras over the terms of a potential peace deal with Russia. The Ukrainian delegation left the White House with the document still unsigned, leaving the future direction of bilateral relations in question.

The shocking scenes in the Oval Office rapidly went viral, sparking considerable international unease. The sense of disquiet was strongest in Europe, with numerous officials and commentators across the continent concluding that the rift confirmed their worst fears over Trump’s shifting foreign policy priorities and his commitment to European security.

In Ukraine, millions watched video footage of the White House argument in disbelief. Ukrainians were hoping the meeting would mark a welcome change in tone following weeks of mounting tensions that had seen their president branded a “dictator” by Trump and excluded from talks between the United States and Russia. Instead, they were faced with what appeared to be a complete breakdown in communication with their country’s most important ally and main supplier of critical military assistance.

Many Ukrainians were angered and dismayed by what they saw as Trump and Vance’s confrontational stance toward Zelenskyy. At various points in the heated exchange, the two US leaders appeared to question Ukraine’s war effort and suggest the country was in no position to be making demands, while also accusing Zelenskyy of being insufficiently grateful for US support.

Strikingly, neither man voiced any criticism of Russian ruler Vladimir Putin for launching the largest European invasion since World War II. On the contrary, Trump indicated that he did not welcome Zelenskyy’s hostility toward the Kremlin dictator. “You see the hatred he’s got for Putin,” Trump told the assembled press during the Zelenskyy meeting. “It’s very tough for me to make a deal with that kind of hate. He’s got tremendous hatred. And I understand that. But I can tell you the other side’s not exactly in love with him either.”

As news of the disastrous Oval Office meeting spread across Ukraine, there was a clear effort to demonstrate a united front and rally around the flag. This response was hardly surprising. After all, Ukrainians have been fighting for national survival ever since Russia’s attack began eleven years ago with the seizure of Crimea and the invasion of eastern Ukraine. Since 2014, they have become familiar with the significant challenges their country faces as Ukrainian officials seek to maintain support in Washington and other Western capitals.

Zelenskyy’s main political rival Petro Poroshenko led the way, vowing to refrain from any criticism and saying that Ukraine needed to respond to events in the US by demonstrating unity. Other politicians followed suit. “Under no circumstances should we agree to calls for the president to resign, and I’m saying that as an opposition Member of Parliament. That defies the very idea of democracy,” said Inna Sovsun.

Many Ukrainians expressed their pride in Zelenskyy for what they saw as his refusal to be intimidated and his insistence on pressing the issue of security guarantees. “If we are for real, we haven’t spoken with such dignity since writing to the sultan,” commented Ukrainian political activist Anastasiya Paraskevova, referencing a celebrated but likely apocryphal series of seventeenth century letters sent by the Ukrainian Cossacks to the Ottoman Sultan and immortalized in a painting by Ilya Repin. “This is the sentiment right now. Trump has actually made Zelenskyy even more popular in Ukraine.”

There were also widespread suggestions that the White House had deliberately provoked a confrontation in order to discredit Zelenskyy and undermine US support for Ukraine. “Zelenskyy could have just sat there in silence for 40 minutes without saying a word. The problem is, they would have found a reason to get offended and start a brawl anyway,” argued Ukrainian journalist and commentator Ilia Ponomorenko. “You simply can’t win with people who don’t actually want a standard, successful meeting.”

While the overall mood in Ukraine was one of defiance, Zelenskyy’s handling of the Oval Office clash also came in for significant criticism. Ukrainian Member of Parliament Oleksiy Goncharenko, a member of the opposition European Solidarity Party, called the meeting “catastrophic for Ukraine” and noted that the only winner was Putin. Commenting on Zelenskyy’s role in Friday’s confrontation, Goncharenko told CNN that the Ukrainian leader needed to be “much more diplomatic” and “constructive” in his future dealings with the country’s US partners. “Mr. Trump will be president of the United States for the next four years. We need to work with him, not argue with him,” Goncharenko commented.

A common complaint among Ukrainians was that while they are being asked by the Trump administration to make concession after concession, Russia faces no such pressure. The tone of the White House meeting certainly seemed to underline Ukraine’s limited leverage as it attempts to secure the backing of the United States for a sustainable peace settlement that can prevent further Russian aggression. “You’re either going to make a deal or we’re out, and if we’re out, you’ll fight it out,” Trump told Zelenskyy at one point as tempers frayed.

Mariia Zolkina of Ukraine’s Democratic Initiatives Foundation think tank commented to the BBC that the war of words in Washington would add to a growing sense of injustice within Ukrainian society over the Trump administration’s strategy for ending Russia’s war in Ukraine. She accused the US leader of seeking to grant Putin almost all of the objectives he has sought but failed to achieve on the battlefield during three years of full-scale war, and warned that this one-sided approach would only strengthen Ukraine’s will to resist. “Trump does not understand that millions of Ukrainians are united by a shared sense of zero tolerance toward injustice. This is what led to the revolutions of 2004 and 2014,” she noted, referencing independent Ukraine’s two pro-democracy revolutions.

While most Ukrainians were clearly shaken by the spectacle of their president arguing so publicly with Trump and Vance, the sense of shock was not shared by everyone. Some viewed the Oval Office clash as yet another reality check in a long and painful national journey that has seen Ukraine navigate more than a decade of Russian aggression while adjusting to the limitations of international assistance. “Zelenskyy was brave, but we are supplicants now,” wrote Ukrainian author Andrey Kurkov in Britain’s Guardian newspaper. “Trump and the Kremlin have made it abundantly clear that Ukraine’s participation in these negotiations between the US and Russia is not necessary or desirable.”

[unlimbited-sources]

Happy Matriarch Unity!

To anyone with a mother, or holds a motherly figure in their life!

Me and Betilla had a great time!

As usual, we left the ball after the monarchs cited the “Poet’s Poem” speech.

First we frolicked at the funfair; We cheated a few games, hopped on a couple of rides, filled up on corn dogs and funnel cakes, then emptied ourselves out at screaming mountain, a roller coaster that takes you up into orbit!

Later, we headed to the cinema, and watched the worst motion picture together. It’s not that there weren’t any good movies playing. We like to watch the bad ones on purpose, to make fun of them.

To end our tradition, we shared a sundae at my old, favorite soda fountain. It’s called The Kitchen Sink; Weighing over 15 pounds, topped with cookies, candy, and barrels of hot fudge. It can only be finished by two people. Usually, I order this alone. Don’t tell Betilla.

We managed to make it back to the ball before the evening toast began. Nobody noticed we left. Why can’t Matriarch Unity be a day where we just relax with our mothers? Why do we need a stupid banquet? I’ve seen other nations celebrate with just breakfast in bed.

[limeston-lane]

So. About two of you have noticed that I never made that fusion oc comic at all. Or, that I've abandoned it all together. And you're right! I do have a design of Blueblood, BUT I was too afraid to finish the comic due to my own low self esteem and confidence.

Here's the plan. I post the design and a mystery, soon to be mentioned, character design tomorrow, AND tidbits of lore regarding both.

For now, here's the entire premise of the joke comic I planned to make. I'm not making it anymore as it is too late and I'm really bad at making dialogue. So. Yeah.

NOTE- THIS IS ENTIRELY ALL A JOKE AND HAD NO SERIOUSNESS AT ALL PLANNED.

Toons find that a number of toons in yott went missing, so they sent rocky out to experience the horrors of this year's April toons. Or so they thought it was one of them.

He finds Blueblood in place of both Prester and Holly as a contractor. Blueblood states that both of them were fired, and he is the replacement because they both suck. Rocky finds this strange and leaves.

Meanwhile, the other managers are like, "Anyone seen them?" By other, I mean Misty because no one else cares. Brian approaches Benjamin and goes "ohhhhh, I fucked up. I fucked up. Benjamin, I fucked up." And Benji is trying to get him to speak and he just continues going "ohhhhh, I fucked up big time."

Basically, Brian was curious by the appearance of High Roller and how two cogs fused into a powerful cog. So, he tried to replicate the fusion. But with a twist. Both Buck and Dave liked each other, and he wanted to know how it would go if it was the opposite. He lured Prester and Holly to basement via a fake note and explained the theory he had. Both of them go "fuck you and fuck you as well," and tried to leave. Brian holds them at gun point and tells them to do it. Then they're like, "Oh shit," and are entirely unsure of what to do. As expected, they begin to fight again because they are both highly annoying. And as they did, they fuse! But all Brian saw was an explosion, and both were gone. He thinks he killed them and has blood on his hands now.

Meanwhile, the resistance tries to pull up more information and strike an attack to free the captured toons. They nearly succeed but are stopped by Blueblood. Benjamin and Brian arrive at the scene to investigate and find Blueblood there. Brian is like, "Holy shit, it worked." The toons overhear him and go "what did you fucking do?!"

And so, he explains that Blueblood is a fusion of Holly and Prester. But, as it seems, neither of them are in control due to their inate nature to bicker and fight with each other. Leaving the fusion not entirely in unity as High Roller is. They only fused due to their strong emotions of wanting to be the best and their unfathomable bitchiness. With only small bits of traits placed in from each other.

Blueblood believes that she is entirely better than everyone and seeks to prove so. Then they fight. I didn't plan this part too well, really. But the moment they think they have the upperhand, Blueblood pulls out a fucking gun and Benjamin goes "omfg, I forgot that they're both registered gun license users." Brian then goes "what the fuck." But the gun is knocked out of Blueblood's hand by another toon. Yet again, they think they have an upper hand, but were soon stopped.

Birch, the hq officer, stops them! Cool fight thing. And the resistance is like "what the fuck, birch!!!" And Brian looks to them like "are you stupid? That's not them." And they go "yuh-huh." Brian says back "look with your fucking eyes." So one pulls out glasses and realize that this is a robot copy!!!

Robot Birch is... well, a robot of Birch. It was created by the cogs as a potential infiltration device but was forgotten about due to events of btl. Blueblood finds it and uses it to his advantage. Also puppy.

At this point, I got no fucking clue how it goes down. Maybe a big cool fight scene, and Blueblood has a sword.

This was an alternative ending, but since there really isn't an actual ending made, this might just be that. The alternative end has Brian create the lance of longinus, and it's essentially the scene of End of Evangelion. The fusion breaks, and they celebrate, only to then see Holly a Prester screaming in pain on the ground. Now, the damage was done to Blueblood, but the pain applies to them both. Nothing is wrong with their eyes but the pain hurts so much.

Happy ending. Except for Holly and Prester as they are in the cog hospital for their pains. And Brian, too. They beat him up afterward.

Now for some fun facts regarding some plannings.

Blueblood was originally going to have an identity crisis about who he was and what she was. The Toons would try to help to not much avail.

Blueblood was going to kill everyone, including cogs, in order to become the best. Lance says otherwise.

Brian and Blueblood would've had a romantic interest in each other. Brian later gets depressed due to the fact that Blueblood seemed interested and didn't mock him, unlike how others did.

There was originally going to be a clone of Scapegoat as well. A mix of both Toon and Cog as a horrible experiment. Their name was Judas Goat. Having the ability to shapeshift from a goat toon to a cog. The purpose was to lead Toons to Blueblood for capture.

Birch and Blueblood were going to team up as a team of rejects. They're beating up anyone, basically. If Judas Goat was added, he would be in the team, too.

If the comic was completed early, there were going to be other misc comics depicting Prester and Holly breaking free, but Blueblood still existed. There, they would fight Blueblood. BUT, in different references of other comics or universes (two planned comics were an MLP one, Skullgirls one, and a Sonic/Sonichu one).

This comic never saw the light of day not only due to my low self-esteem and confidence issues but also due to the stress of applying to college. I'm really scared and seasonally depressed right now. Sorry that these promises will remain empty. This goes for other aus i have, for current events and mental issues make it difficult. Thank you.

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” - they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them! Get in contact with them on Facebook, shipping to the U.S. only, and tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!

For those of you who have been affected by the cold weather recently, we feel for you. We’ve decided to put you first in our minds as we find a way for you to think warm thoughts. So look longingly at your roller skates and plan to watch some re-runs of C.H.I.P.S. in the down time.

Aries 

New York is one of the biggest modern cities. And as such it’s been said to have a Concrete Jungle. The problem with that is the heat in the summer and the winds, well, pretty much ALL the time. And if you want a complete 180-Degree change from what it’s like, just drill straight through the Earth and come out the other side. So This Week… If you DID do that, the closest landmass would be the French Southern and Antarctic Lands. Oh, you don’t know what that is? How about learning some geography this week? Curl up on the couch with a blanket, hot chocolate, and a geography book.

Taurus 

London, by comparison, is an old city, with far less industrialized building techniques. But what it does have are vast networks of trains that are some of the best for travel across the countryside. Yes, just hop on and spend the afternoon making your way out to the country where it would have taken a car… Oh, let’s say… an hour or two to get to. So This Week… Spend some time watching the cars in London navigate traffic circles anti-clockwise. You know.. Like monsters!

Gemini 

Paris, for all that the War did to it, has some amazing architecture that’s lasted literal centuries. As we know the church at Notre Dame had a destructive fire, but they’ve been rebuilding the structure in an amazing way. When Activision made “Assassin's Creed Unity” they were given permission to not only scan it, but to record what it sounded like inside. So not only are they rebuilding the look, they’re making sure that, acoustically, it’s correct as well. So This Week… That story was just untrue, but made for a great warm feeling in your heart, right? Just stay home and play “Assassin's Creed” and not worry about it.

Cancer Moon-Child 

Munich Germany would be a fun place to visit, if you knew how to speak German. And even if you don’t, since most of the folk there speak English as well. Considering how they get the Brits visiting from time to time it’s almost a need. But, oddly enough, the Brits are more likely to speak German than the Americans. So This Week… Learn what the Emergency Services Phone Number is there. And do NOT laugh if someone tells you it’s “Nine-Nine-Nine!”.

Leo 

Every time we try to be nice to you all, it seems like there’s some mysterious force pulling us back to the Dark Side. You don’t know the power of the Dark Side. So let’s send you to an area of the world where there’s literally 24 hours of night, for, like, Two months! So This Week… Consider visiting, or better yet watching any streaming webcams of Tromsø, Norway. If nothing else, the view of the heavens will be astounding! AND you’ll be able to have the longest overnight sleep of your life!

Virgo 

Body wash with some strong floral scents are in your near future. Shower, heavy on the body wash, and enjoy the smell as it infuses your residence. Or, don’t. Maybe your choice scent is body sweat. We won’t judge - but we’re pretty sure there isn’t a “Body Sweat Scented Body Wash” out there. So This Week… That was not a suggestion that you find out how to make it so you can sell it! But if you make millions on it, we want a cut of the profits!

Libra

Talk with your friends more. It’s really as simple as that. It doesn't need to be anything deep, just a simple, “played any fun games recently?” And when they tell you, pay attention - even if you’re not that interested. Because one day you’ll need someone to validate your time and you’ll need it. So This Week… So, HAVE you played any cool games recently? How about this; come over and we’ll order some pizza and wings and put on Mario Party? Deal?

Scorpio 

About now is when the worst ‘Scopes start to happen. But this time we’re self-aware enough to be gentle. Kind, even. So let’s get you feeling warm and comforted and at peace. The best way to do that for you, we’ve learned, is through your stomach. There’s only a handful of meals that work in this regard, and you have your choice between two of the best. Should we go with A: Chicken Noodle Soup with extra tortellini in it, or option 2: Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup? So This Week… You chose the Grilled Cheese! Good Choice. Now you need to decide who’ll make it for you: Jamie Oliver, who adds Kimchi to his, or Gordon Ramsey, who uses the wrong cheese entirely. Take your time to choose wisely. There is only one correct answer. Just ask “Alicia X Death” on YouTube. SPOILERS! Alton Brown is the only correct answer! 

Sagittarius 

Pop has several meanings depending on where you live. For some it’s a punch to the face. For others it’s what you call a sugar-filled  carbonated beverage. And finally it’s the sound of a carbonated wine cork being ejected from the bottle. No matter what way you use the word there’s always going to be someone that’ll try to correct you. It’s OK, though. You can let people be That Guy and not let it upset you. So This Week… Just divest yourself of any emotional attachments for grammar and enjoy how much everyone wants to educate you.

Capricorn 

Music, supposedly, binds the human race together, but that’s a lie. Traditionally western music, with its twelve-tone scale and metre based on four, pales in comparison to the poly-rhythmic songs of African peoples. Do you know how to count to seven and four at the same time for the same piece of music? We’re betting you not only can’t, but have no idea how it’s even done. So This Week… We’ve suggested it before, but it’s still relevant. Go listen to the Dave Brubeck Quartet playing “Take Five” and start learning how to count all over again.

Aquarius 

The number one rule of any get-away is to find somewhere safe. We don’t mean as in, ”I don’t expect to be robbed on the street here”, but more, “I can let my mind relax without worrying for a change.” So This Week… If you have a fireplace, consider using it this week. And even if you don’t have one, use your TV to play one of the many fireplace videos available. And remember to close the flue when you’re done.

Pisces  

Game cruises are a thing, did you know that? Head out on a voyage around the Caribbean checking out various ports of call, and in-between go to the conference rooms and lounges to play board games you’ve never heard of before. Or maybe you have? How about something simple and clever: Zombie Dice! Not only is it simple to learn, but it’s quick and approachable by nearly any age. So This Week… If you want to play and win, just play against Wil Wheaton. The Wil Wheaton Dice Curse WILL keep him in the loser's square.

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know - or check out the Ko-Fi page ( https://ko-fi.com/icarusthelunarguard )! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Facebook, Ko-Fi, Discord, and BLUESKY.

[boroughshq]

Welcome to the community bulletin board! Here are some events happening around the Boroughs this month:

June 21: Pride Brunch @ Diva Diner & Drag Show, Brooklyn

June 22: NYC Pride 5k @ Central Park, Manhattan

June 23: Trans Pride @ The She Shed, the Bronx

June 24: DIY Mini Pride Flags @ The Snug Mug, Staten Island

June 25: Pride Night @ Technicolor Theater, Queens

June 26: Book Swap (Pride Edition) @ Brooklyn Flea Market

June 27: Chappell Night @ Sugar & Spice, Queens

June 28: Queer Trivia Night @ The Tool Shed, Staten Island

June 29: Puppy Pride Pageant @ Bronx Dog Park

June 30: Pride Skate @ Roller City, Queens

June 21: Pride Brunch @ Diva Diner & Drag Show, Brooklyn

The rainbows are out in full force for a pride filled brunch show at Triple D's!

June 22: NYC Pride 5k @ Central Park, Manhattan

The NYC Pride 5k is back for another year of fitness, acceptance, and celebration for the LGBTQIA+ community! Members and allies alike are all welcome to participate in a 5k around Central Park.

June 23: Trans Pride @ The She Shed, the Bronx

Indulge in an evening of glamour at our Trans Pride Night! It's all about celebrating diversity, acceptance, and unity with the community. Come as you are, ready to have a great time in a space where love and acceptance shine bright.

June 24: DIY Mini Pride Flags @ The Snug Mug, Staten Island

Join us for a fun afternoon of DIY crafts as we make our own miniature pride flags! Whether you're a seasoned crafter or a first-time artist, everyone is welcome to participate!

June 25: Pride Night @ Technicolor Theater, Queens

Technicolor Theater is back for another movie marathon, Pride edition! Grab your popcorn and get cozy for an joyful movie marathon under the stars! Get ready to laugh, cry, and celebrate LGBTQ+ stories on the large outdoor projector screen.

June 26: Book Swap (Pride Edition) @ Brooklyn Flea Market

Looking to expand your pride reads? Look no further than the Brooklyn Flea Market! Hosted by Cover to Cover, be sure to stop by their booth at the Brooklyn Flea Market on Wednesday to engage in some friendly book trading!

June 27: Chappell Night @ Sugar & Spice, Queens

Come H-O-T-T-O-G-O for Chappell Night at Sugar & Spice! Don your best Pink Pony attire and join in a dance party celebration to Chappell Roan's biggest hits, as well as other Sapphic pop sounds like Fletcher, Renee Rapp, and more!

June 28: Queer Trivia Night @ The Tool Shed, Staten Island

Gather your squad for an unforgettable night of Queer Trivia at The Tool Shed! Test your knowledge on LGBTQ+ history, pop culture, and everything fabulous in between.

June 29: Puppy Pride Pageant @ Bronx Dog Park

Welcome to the first ever Puppy Pride Pageant at the Bronx Dog Park! Community assembled and run, LGBTQ+ friendly folk are encouraged to dress their dog's up in their most fabulous pride apparel to participate in the doggy fashion show!

June 30: Pride Skate @ Roller City, Queens

Roller City becomes Rainbow City to bring Pride Month out with a bang! Strap on your skates for the ultimate Pride celebration. Glide, twirl, and show off your moves!

[uncannyforest]

@erinbrume Yeah! Actually, some 2D objects in a 3D world.

I want to imitate the aesthetic of Roller Coaster Tycoon, so I was originally making the game entirely 2D, but I changed in this year because

(1) I'm getting better at 3D modeling and animation, and decided to play to my strengths (while still leaving a few things 2D to give me practice on pixel art)

(2) I discovered 2D isometric kind of became a big hassle to code, since elevation and both x and y map coordinates all affect which images are in front of others (in theory, that's doable, but I think I made a lot of choices with this game in particular that made it hard, like characters being able to hide under taller foliage)

I realized that since the game is effectively pretending to be 3D (like RCT is with pre-rendered assets), the code would be easier if it were actually 3D—I don't have the same hardware limitations that the 1990's did, and it turns out it's not hard in Unity to make things look pixelated and mix 2D assets into the world.

[l00na24]

I Got Your Six - Chapter 4

Warnings: PTSD, Drugs, Dark themes

Word Count: 9.8k

A/N: I'm sorry I kept you all waiting for so long but finally our boys are here 😍 This was a whole roller coster but I enjoyed so much writing it! Just wanna put a little warning again here that it will get a bit dark at some point, so please be aware!

3 days later, 5 PM, Florida, Pinellas County

As Santiago entered the boys’ changing room in the gym where Benny’s fight took place today, he got greeted by Will for a second time, having already met him a few hours earlier when he listened his speech at the Veteran’s community center where Will was working, after coming back from Columbia for over 3 years.

He had hoped that he was able to at least convince the boys of his plan for the recce, since his first shot with the one person he hadn’t seen for years had gloriously failed.

He hadn’t expected her to come, hell, even that she would read his letter he had sent her. But when she was standing there in front of him in that café, he thought he was dreaming for a moment, couldn’t quite believe that she really had followed his invitation. He had never forgotten the day it happened, the one thing that seemed to haunt him forever. The moment they had lost her for good. It was imprinted in his brain and that would never change, regardless how much he had tried to forget and get over it the last years. And now, after he had met her again, it felt like it was yesterday. Before everything fell slowly apart. They weren’t the team they were before anymore after it happened, no, they never had been the same team again with the most important part missing forever. Her, the heart and soul of the team that kept them all together like they were one being. Every single one of them a different part of it but equally important to the whole unity. A unity that was torn apart to never be whole again.

The moment he had looked in her eyes for the first time again, he knew she wasn’t the same. She looked the same but everything else was so different that he wouldn’t have recognized her if he wouldn’t have known her. There was something to her he didn’t know. He couldn’t put his finger on it but he sure as hell didn’t like it. The way she had spoken to him with a coldness in her voice and eyes she never had before, like she would’ve wanted to kill him right there in an instant if he would’ve made one wrong move. And the way she blew up at him at the mention of the other boys or her reaction toward the waitress, not to mention how she had addressed him. Santiago had kind of felt like he was back to the day in that building again after they had found her, when she had driven that knife in the wall next to Tom, shaking with anger. It was the first moment in his life he had felt something close to fear besides the part when they found her. That day it wasn’t their girl, their little, fragile butterfly, that had been standing before them, it had been an entirely different person none of them knew. Something dark and twisted from the original.

All of them had paid the price for losing her differently.

Santiago had busied himself with constantly thinking about their next mission, strategies, plans, whatever he could find just so he was occupied all the time and couldn’t let his mind wonder over different things. After he retired, he had thrown himself headlong into his work with the DEA down in South America, only to realize at some point that there would be always a part of her with him, regardless what he tried to do. There was no escape. And when the chance arose to finally get a shot at Lorea, he knew he had to muster up the balls and at least try to ask her if he wanted to get the whole team back together for this.

But would she even want to hear anything from him after they never had tried once to contact her for 8 fucking long years? He knew he deserved all the hate she would have for him, for what they had allowed to happen but secretly another part of him had hoped, she would still feel at least a little bit of this special connection they once had all shared. His answer came right the moment he had opened his mouth, making it clear that she didn’t want to hear anything besides what he wanted to talk about with her. He didn’t know what he expected her reaction to be but certainly not the one he got. It felt like someone had stabbed him and dug long, sharp claws deep into his skin to rip him open right after. So the only thing he could do was the one thing he was good at, pretending that it didn’t hurt him and play the tough soldier he was, getting straight down to business like it was the most casual thing in the world.

Santiago was still somehow holding on to the small hope that she would maybe change her mind and call him. She still had time, he told himself. And he had yet to tell the others about it but with that he would wait till the very last second until he could be sure what her final decision would be. If she wouldn’t come, there was no point in revealing to them what he had done but if she did… maybe it would give them a second chance. Just maybe.

“What'd he say?” Will questioned, referencing to their friend Tom, Santiago had visited after coming to Will first, blue eyes looking at his Spanish brother as he stopped slightly left of the bench the older Miller was sitting on with a black hoodie and a dark blue shirt underneath, blue jeans and black shoes.

“He's taking a look at it.” Santiago answered, hoping he could convince their captain to join his plan to get Will on board too. “He may not be up for this.” He warned.

“You know he's the best with something this complex.” Will pointed out, still holding eye contact. “And he needs this right now.”

He knew Tom hadn’t been doing great after he had been forced to retire at some point and all the stuff that had happened between him and his wife Molly that caused them to split. The only things he had left were the two girls they shared and he still took care of and the job he had to sell condos around town, which he wasn’t good at and didn’t like anyway but it was better than nothing with supporting two households and the bills he had to pay. Will visited him from time to time, making sure he was doing somewhat okay since they didn’t live far from each other like mostly all of them except Santiago who was most of the time in Columbia.

The captain was probably the only one that didn’t take it that hard than the other four boys. Not that he didn’t care about the girl in their group, but they were never that close, him being the difficult man he was and having a family anyway. It was never more than a kind of platonic friendship among teammates if you could’ve called it that, but it still hurt him too to a degree to lose her so unexpectedly.

“All right.” Leaning with his shoulder against the wall beside him and putting his hands in the pockets of his jacket, Santiago looked around the room for a moment before turning back to Will, hearing the loud, roaring crowd from outside in the background.

The older one of the Miller brothers was a different topic. Everything went quite literally downhill for him after the loss of their girl. He had met his fiancé one time when he was back in Florida, she was kind, caring and everything he could have wished for and yet she could’ve never compared to her. She always had been his most important anchor, knew him like nobody else did. Could read him and the signs by his body language.

Only she wasn’t there that time when his PTSD reared its disastrous head again when he was standing in that cereal isle. It was like something inside him just snapped and he wasn’t in control anymore. He nearly had killed that man before his fiancé had even noticed what was happening and desperately tried to stop him, to get him out of his furious state. First it seemed that all her attempts were futile, screaming and pleading to Will to stop until she jumped on his back in one final attempt to snap him out of it. Thankfully it worked and he instantly let the man go, not knowing what had happened as he looked into the pale face of the gasping man he had in a deathly headlock seconds ago and the tearstained and fearful features of his fiancé that had gotten off of him, not knowing how to handle the situation and what she had just witnessed.

That’s when she had decided she couldn’t be with a man like him any longer, too scared of Will and what he was really capable of despite being together for a few years and already engaged. So, she broke up with him right after it had happened, left him as fast as she could in the middle of the chaos he still hadn’t fully comprehended. His PTSD never had been a problem back then with their girl because she was the one he could always ground himself on when he needed to and if the rare moment came where it threatened to overwhelm him, she was there before it could even begin to escalate, soothing him till he managed to push through it. There was always this special understanding between them where they didn’t need any words to communicate because they complimented each other perfectly.

The man thankfully refrained from pressing any charges when he heard about the reason of Will’s action. Only throwing some curse words at him and telling him to get it under control before he would kill anyone. Will had never felt more worse and ashamed in his life than in that moment. It was the second time he had lost the one thing that was most important to him which caused him to be more reserved than he already had been, giving up on finding someone that would be able to take him like he was, like she did.

His little brother Ben had been angered beyond belief when he heard what his fiancé had done and how much she had hurt him after he had arrived at the Publix store to pick up Will. They always told each other everything, having been even closer after they lost their most important girl because they needed each other to lean on, to find a way to continue somehow. The older Miller brother had barely gotten over the loss of their girl but with his fiancé leaving him too, that was it. So he focused on his daily routines, counting all kinds of things like he always had, giving motivational speeches for veterans and retired soldiers, helping Ben with training for his fights and occasionally meeting with the guys if everyone had time and Santiago was in town.

But there had been an emptiness inside of him he couldn’t fill. Regardless how hard he had tried to ignore it and to be happy with his relationship before it evaporated into thin air, it just wasn’t the same, it would never be. The part he had lost the day when he had lost her.

To him she was the most beautiful crystal there ever was. Breaking the light in a gorgeous kaleidoscope of all possible colors if it hit just at the right angle and reflecting her personality absolutely perfect. But the brighter the flame of a candle burns, the darker the shadows around it grow, right?

“This shit is fuckin' depressing.” Will huffed while he leaned his body forward on the bench.

“C'mon.” Santiago winked at him with his left eye. “Let your brother have some fun. Support him.” He said with a slight laugh.

“I've been supporting him since the day he was born.” The older Miller countered, sitting upright again before he continued.

“That kid's a one-in-a-million talent, going out there, playing the fucking clown to a bunch of hillbillies.” Even if his face didn’t show how he really felt about what Benny was doing, his voice made it clear, that he didn’t like how his little brother wasted his talent with shit like this for only a few hundred dollars. He knew he was more worth than that but being his older brother, of course he would support him with everything Ben was doing. Those two were inseparable since Benny’s birth and nothing would ever change that, which meant if one would go somewhere, the other would follow, no questions asked.

The loud banging against some lockers suddenly filled the room, followed by Ben’s loud mouth before he rounded the corner in only his red shorts with Frankie in tow, that was wearing his signature ‘Standard Heating Oil’ cap, a light brown leather jacket with a blue shirt underneath and also blue jeans.

“Ah, yeah, where are my corner men?”

“Holy shit, look who it is!” He greeted Santiago with widespread arms when he saw him, flexing them upwards and puffing his chest out before he brought him in a tight hug.

“What's up, Benny?” His Spanish friend greeted back, while embracing him with a wide smile.

“Oh, holy shit!” Ben commented when he lifted Santiago a bit off the ground, holding his friend to him and being happy to see him after such a long time again.

“Oh, God!” The salt and pepper haired man groaned out when he had the floor back under his feet after a few seconds.

In the meantime Frankie went over to greet Will with a hug and a pat on the back that the blonde man returned while looking over the pilot’s shoulder at the interaction between Ben and Santiago before pulling back a little and shifting his gaze to Frankie.

“Hell of a night for you to show.” The younger Miller looked at his friend for a moment, holding his right shoulder and giving him a light pat on the cheek that Santiago returned with one on his right arm.

“It's great to see you, man.” Pulling back with a wide smile on his face, he watched Ben moving over to his locker.

“You as well.” The dirty blonde returned on his way.

Ben had been hit the hardest by everything out of all the boys. Being the one who had always been the closest to her, following her like her own shadow, like a moth drawn to a flame, bound to burn to ashes at the slightest touch.

It was like his heart had stopped beating and his whole world had crashed down on him. He was an absolute wreck for months, his smile erased from his face for a long time like his otherwise so bright and cheerful character. Ben was like a ghost that was trapped in nothing but a hollow shell, his once so sparkling blue eyes, drowned out by a darkness that threatened to swallow his whole being with it. He felt like he was crawling in his own skin with no way out.

Everything he had loved was ripped from him in nothing more but a mere moment, so suddenly that he couldn’t understand. Will had tried to be there for him as best as he was able to besides his own struggle but even he knew there was nothing that would help his heartbroken little brother to get over the most important person in his life. The one girl that had meant absolutely everything to him, more than his own life. She was his goddess he wanted to worship and the ground she was walking on. His guiding north star, shining brighter than anything ever in existence that he’d follow to the end of the world and beyond.

She had been the one who had shown him what true love was and what it felt like to be cared for unconditionally. His other half that completed him and was everything his older brother could have wanted for him in a girl.

But all good things come to an end eventually…

Ben had been forced to do the one thing that seemed impossible to him, to live without her. Never feel her touch again, hear her voice, her laugh, never look into these gorgeous eyes of hers that captivated him every single time because they bared her entire soul to him. The only options left for him were either to lay down and die or to try to safe himself from the dangerous edge he’d been falling off.

At the beginning he had considered the first option, to be finally free from this gut-wrenching pain inside him he couldn’t get rid of. But the soldier in him didn’t think about giving up, the part that was still holding on. It had never been an option and now wouldn’t be any different. Only that it wasn’t as easy, even if he tried to fully focus on their missions and after they retired, on his MMA fights and Will, who kept him occupied. It only had held for so long till the nightmares were back and the darkness that had never left him ever since he had lost her crawled its way back up and threatened to suffocate him anew, being completely exposed and vulnerable to it because the protective wings of his precious and beloved butterfly had been severed for good.

The promise he had given her with the words ‘I go where you go.’ now broken and empty with no more meaning behind it. Like his entire life that had lost its purpose.

It took over 2 full years for Ben to even start to try and recover from the hole that had been torn inside him forever. He might have won the war with himself afterwards, but he had lost the most important fight before it could even begin and he paid the price for it with the part of him that died in it. Like his butterfly in the last flicker of the light.

“¡Ey! Cada día eres más feo. (Hey! Every day you're uglier.)” Frankie said while he walked to his Spanish friend and gave him a playful clap on his butt with a big smile.

“Ah, pequeño pendejo. (Ah, you little asshole.)” Santiago chuckled, bringing him also in a tight, brotherly hug with a pat on the shoulder.

“Qué bueno verte. (Good to see you.)” He added before pulling back, glancing over to Ben again as the pilot went to the bench where the younger Miller was now sitting and putting on his fighting gloves.

Will watched their embrace the entire time with a grin on his face, pleased to see them all together again besides Tom, who had yet to show up because he had to drop off his daughter Tess first like he told Santiago on their drive to the gym.

Frankie had been struggling equally. Not in a million lifetimes had he imagined it to happen. To lose the balance to his darker side, the one girl that carried all his burdens so weightlessly on her shoulders like it was nothing, as if they didn't affect her in the slightest. Her presence alone enough to scare every dark thought in his mind away.

The pilot had suffered just as much as his friends, the endless guilt he felt never leaving him, constantly swirling around in his head to remind him of his biggest mistake.

When he had met his wife, he thought he would be able to move on with his life but turns out, like his brothers, he couldn’t. It had felt like the right decision but after he had married her, that quickly changed. The only things he could think of being that he didn’t deserve to live a normal life, regretting every single choice he had made from the point of no return that had thrown him back into a familiar spiral he couldn’t get out of or all the blood on his hands and the many deaths he had caused. He closed up on himself, giving his wife no chance at all to get through to him anymore and when he wasn’t able to take it any longer, he knew he had to look for other ways to help him out. On some days he had felt like he literally killed their girl with his own hands, her blood staining his skin in a dark red color. The images always following, the memories on a never-ending repeat, looking what he could’ve done different to change the ultimate outcome but only coming up with the same frustrating result each time.

With every passing month, his relationship turned into a more dysfunctional one for both sides that did nothing more but damaging him even further than he already was. The divorce following at some point as the consequence and sending him back to point zero. And that’s where the real shit started for Frankie, with their most important girl gone and his wife divorced then too, there was no stopping him anymore. Not even his flying had been able to save him from himself.

He knew where he had to look, knew a few guys that had exactly what he wanted, what he needed actually. If he wouldn’t drown out the demons that haunted him day and night, he’d go insane. He knew that and he had to find a quick and easy solution for it that nobody would notice, not even his brothers when they visited him or met together at a bar to spend some time with each other to make sure everyone was doing okay or that wouldn’t affect him too much when he was in the air from time to time.

He had tried quite a few things, each worse and more dangerous than the other but nothing helping to numb him enough to not have to think. Until he came across coke. Whatever presented itself was good enough to try it out, so he didn’t hesitate and was surprised when it actually did the job, the only thing he had wanted for so long. To be at piece for at least a little bit, not having to care about anything and quiet his mind.

But the longer it went on, the more careless the pilot got until he had been busted a year ago and lost his flying license. Not that he had felt like shit already, but that had been the blow he had seen already coming if he was honest with himself. So, with clipped wings he had been bound to the ground now, not being able to fly freely anymore. But maybe that was exactly the wake up call he had needed to get his shit back together. Shortly after he had looked for professional help to get away from his drug addiction, knowing it had never been a solution in the first place for his problems.

Never once did he have to resort to anything like drugs or other things when their girl was still with them. It had been already enough to look at her atop of her throne, her crown like a halo above her head. The one very being they swore to protect with their lives but had royally failed to do so. They had been sending her straight into her own death, ignoring their one and only task for a moment and not caring about the possible danger they had put her in. She had given them everything they had ever needed, no matter what it was, being the light to their darkness and they had paid it back with severing her trust in them in return.

“Did you boys get my text? Yeah? Fish?” Santiago took a few steps to the nearest locker on his side and leaned against it with crossed arms over his chest, looking between his two brothers expectantly and stopping on Frankie.

“I need a pilot. I can't do this thing without you.” He added, emphasizing the last word in hopes it would be enough to convince him.

“I don't know, man.” The second Spanish man of the group kept his eyes locked to the bench underneath him, still unsure about his friend's plan and if he really wanted to involve himself in it.

Will was silently following their conversation, his eyes on Santiago the entire time until Frankie turned his head around to meet his gaze for a moment before looking back down to the bench.

“What... What does that mean?” Stubborn as he always was, Santiago wouldn’t let him off that easily, fully knowing if he was persistent enough, the pilot would give in eventually and join him. Like he always had.

“Did you read the text? This can change your life forever.”

“What happened to that bullshit about going back to your mother's homeland and empowering the people to police themselves?” Letting out a heavy sigh when he stood up and walked over to the lockers on his side, the pilot leaned against them and crossed his arms while looking at him. Of course his Spanish brother would say everything to get him to join, it had always been like that.

The man in question only chuckled softly at his comment. If it weren’t for Lorea, it might have already happened.

“Anyway, I lost my license. I can't even fly right now.” Frankie hadn’t gotten a chance yet to tell him the full story but he wanted to be honest with his brother.

The older Miller lowered his head upon hearing that. He and his brother were already in the picture with his whole drug ordeal and the consequences of it. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by them and they found it out eventually, supporting him and his recovery as best as they could, like the team they still were.

“Well, I don't need a pilot with a license.” Not giving in to his rejections, Santiago took a few steps toward him and put his hands in the pockets of his pants, still eyeing him.

“I'm in with the army down there. I just need a pilot I can trust.”

“Yeah, I don't think so.”

“Okay.” The salt and pepper haired man sighed and let out a chuckle, it was going as good as it had with Y/N. It was time to try another approach yet again.

“Lorea is destroying that country.” Santiago explained, walking up and down the changing room while Frankie busied himself with watching Ben taking his black shirt out of his locker, that had been silently listening their back and forth besides the preparations for his fight like his big brother, that didn’t let them out of his sight the whole time.

“So we get to take out a very bad man, and oh, by the way, there's a winning lottery ticket stuck to the bottom of your cowboy boot.” He elaborated and pointed at his friend's shoes to accentuate his message, telling the pilot indirectly what he would be missing out on if he didn’t take this chance.

Having heard enough and giving the younger Miller space to put his shirt on, Frankie moved over next to his Spanish brother with a shake of his head. Whatever he would say, his friend would always find another argument against it.

“Every guy in that gym would jump at this.” If Santiago wanted something he didn’t let it go, all of them were well aware of that. He wouldn’t take a second ‘No’ as answer. Gesturing with his hand in the direction where the crowd outside was already watching a fight to get his point across.

“Come on, focus, guys! It's fight night.” Ben interjected Santiago’s speech with a raised voice to remind them why they were actually here.

“Yeah, don't worry about that bullshit.” His older brother joined in and stood up, walking to him and eyeing the two Spanish men on the way.

“Sorry, Benny.” Santiago apologized quickly.

“You ready for this?” Will asked with a challenging gaze at the dirty blonde.

“Hell yeah.” The younger Miller answered enthusiastically with a smirk, ready to take on his next fight.

“Let's go.” The older blonde gave him two brotherly pats on his right cheek as encouragement before he shut his locker closed and all four men made their way toward the gym.

🌿🌿🌿

“I didn't mean to call your shit bullshit.” Frankie spoke up after being quiet half of the way, giving Santiago’s right arm a clap from the side to get his attention, to apologize for what he had said before.

“It's all right.” Santiago chuckled in return, knowing he hadn’t meant it.

“I got busted.” The pilot finally told him, not wanting to keep it from his friend any longer. “It's not a big deal.”

“Actually, it's a big deal.” He corrected himself quickly, realizing he shouldn’t downplay what had happened so easily.

“Coke?” Santiago asked and looked at him intently for a long moment. He hadn’t heard much from the Millers about it when he was in town sometimes but it was enough for him.

When the pilot only held his gaze and didn’t answer him, he let out a sigh.

“Jesus, Frankie.”

“Technically, it's a suspension. I'm still under review.” Frankie elaborated, not really liking how Santiago’s reply actually sounded and maybe to convince himself that it wasn’t actually that bad.

Both not breaking eye contact until Frankie clapped Will’s shoulder to change the subject.

“Well, what about you? What are you gonna do?”

“I said if Redfly's in, I'm in.” Will answered his question honestly, looking at him and Santiago when they walked next to each other behind his younger brother.

“Come on, stick with me here, guys.” Ben spoke up and looked slightly over his shoulder to them. He wanted the guys to focus on his fight rather on the plan their friend brought with him right now.

“Oh, I'm with you, Benny.” Santiago confirmed him. “But are you with me?” He asked, glancing at his frame from behind.

“Are you in?” Not getting a direct answer from Ben, he inquired him again.

“You know I am.” The dirty blonde replied shortly after, holding his gaze fixated on the entrance to the gym ahead of them.

“I go where you go.” He added the words that once held so much more, not only to him but their whole team. Not letting any emotions cross his face.

“That's what I thought. Benny stands tall.” Satisfied with Benny’s answer, Santiago patted him in a brotherly gesture on his back and put a hand on his right shoulder that he barely reached from his position next to him with their height difference.

While they walked the rest of the hallway to the entrance, one of the other fighters with possibly his trainers walked by with blood all over his head and bare, fully in tattoos covered chest, displaying what a possible outcome of a fight could look like.

“From Red Feather Lakes, Colorado, standing six foot three, weighing in at 195 pounds, I bring you... Ben Miller!” A man announced when they were reaching the entrance. Standing there for a moment until loud heavy metal music blasted through the speakers in the gym and continuing their way out one after another through the roaring crowd to the fighting cage in the middle.

Fate had other plans for the ex-delta soldiers tho… like always.

They didn’t notice that their once most important person was only an arm’s length away from them, hidden in the surrounding crowd and following their every move with the watchful eyes of a predator.

🌿🌿🌿

“From Red Feather Lakes, Colorado, standing six foot three, weighing in at 195 pounds, I bring you... Ben Miller!” A man announced loudly through the speakers of the gym we currently were in.

Me and Luc had arrived 1 hour earlier and were patiently waiting outside till the fight would start, making sure that nobody would be able to notice us from our position as far away and hidden as possible but were still able to see who entered the gym. I didn’t need to accidentally run into them before I actually wanted it to happen and Santiago didn’t need to know yet that I had changed my mind.

We saw both Millers and Frankie getting out of the car they pulled up with 30 minutes later, making their way across the parking lot that was already packed. As soon as my eyes had spotted even the slightest glimpse of them, I averted my sight because I didn’t want to see more than I would have to later.

Not 10 Minutes after their arrival, Santiago got out of a truck after he had spoken to someone in it and handed the same red folder he had shown me before through the passenger window. That someone being Tom, as I identified when he drove away, spotting another person sitting behind him that looked like a younger girl. Was that one of his daughters? She was probably the reason why he didn’t stay. I made a mental note to keep an eye out for him in case he came back because I didn’t need him to ruin my plan. All of them had a real talent for that.

But he didn’t reappear when we carefully made our way inside a few minutes before the fight was about to start.

The crowd that awaited us in the gym was huge and there wasn’t much room to move. Both things I already couldn’t stand. Why would you come here voluntarily?

Luc and I had our guard up as soon as we passed the entrance, him making sure the way in front of us was clear and nobody would be behind me, and I scanned the room for possible threats or the guys. We didn’t need to try to communicate with each other over the volume of all the people inside to agree, that we would take a spot a little bit offside the entrance so that no one would bother us and we would have sight of mostly the whole room while using all the people effectively as our cover.

We were standing in there probably for only 2 or 3 minutes when the fight I already dreaded to see got announced. I wasn’t sure how much of it I could take till I had to get out.

The pure mention of his name alone was enough to raise goosebumps all over my body.

But before my mind could wonder into places I didn’t want it to go right now, loud heavy metal music filled the gym and peaked my attention. Luc was already looking at me from my right side, his gaze telling everything what was about to come any second and cocking an eyebrow at me. I was far from being ready.

As everyone began to roar and cheer, our heads turned to the spot where we could make out some movement out of the corner of our eyes.

I didn’t even need to search for him, my look automatically finding him in an instant as he came walking out on one of the far ends with his big brother Will, Santiago and Frankie behind him toward the cage in the middle of the gym.

“This is your special man, hm? I can see why.” Luc’s voice suddenly reached my ears and pulled me out of my paralyzed state but still having my eyes glued to the person I thought I’d never see again.

He looked still the same, like all of them. The only missing thing was his backwards cap. I couldn’t even remember the last time when I had actually seen him not wearing one. But even without it he looked… Just stop already, Y/N! Don’t you dare and think of that!

“He isn’t.” I replied without emotion, stressing the last word and banning all thoughts of him from my mind while continuing to watch his every move.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” My teammate chuckled while he leaned against the wall behind him and crossed his arms, not believing what I said.

“And I thought it was a good thing that Mick stayed at our base this time.” I breathed out and shifted my look back to him. The rest of the boys had decided to not come with us to make it easier to go unnoticed and to not make this harder for me than it already was.

“That’s why we’re brothers at heart.” Luc retorted and held a hand over his heart with a grin on his face, trying to relax me.

“Yeah, no need to remind me of that.” I answered and let my sight wander over to the four men again.

Ben and Will had nearly reached the cage when I noticed someone walking out of the entrance not far away from us into the mass of people. I saw enough to know that it was the last person that had been missing to complete the team. Knew it.

Of course Tom would be here at some point too when the others were there, so predictable. Some things never change.

Santiago and Frankie were talking about something as they stopped halfway when they spotted Tom coming toward them with three beers in his hand that were sold in this place. Good that I never was drinking any alcohol cause otherwise I probably would have had around ten already. Especially when I looked back to the Miller brothers, Will standing directly outside and banging with one hand against the fence of the fighting cage and shouting something to Ben, who was now standing inside with his opponent facing him.

Holy shit.

I regretted immediately that I didn’t look away when I saw that he was now only wearing some red shorts, his upper body completely bare and the toned muscles of a warrior for everyone to see and showing how fucking gorgeous he actually looked underneath his clothes, like he and every little detail on his body had been perfectly sculpted from god himself.

Those big hands that could bring death in the brink of a second but could caress you so featherlight at the same time and hold you so carefully like you were made of glass. His arms that held the strength to break and build everything he wanted without any effort, his blue eyes burning with a fire so powerful to set your whole body aflame with the slightest look but also held a vulnerability in them like he gave you his very soul. His cheekbones, the curve of his nose and the sharp edge of his jawline that accentuated his perfectly shaped face and his surely plush lips that looked so kissable and would make you melt on the spot. The intimidating mere seize of his huge frame together with his sharp mind and the heart of the most gentle giant that loved so honestly and with such a limitless loyalty.

He was the most perfect human being I ever saw. The one I wasn’t worthy of.

Damn him for waking these feelings again that I had buried so deep… I shouldn’t feel like this…

“You look like you’ve never seen him shirtless before.” My teammate joked next to me with an amused grin, having observed me the entire time and breaking my stare.

“Some people are polite enough not to look, you know?” I gave him a sharp look from the side.

“That’s the biggest bullshit I’ve ever heard.” Luc snorted, shaking his head in disbelieve.

“He always made a joke out of it…” I sighed and lowered my head to the ground, closing my eyes for a moment and remembering the times when I accidentally caught Ben like that or when he took off his shirt right in front of me just to catch me off guard and make one of his comments about my embarrassed reaction. He hadn’t a single fucking clue what exactly he was doing back then…

“Maybe he wanted you to?”

“Sure, cause I wasn’t only his teammate.” I replied sarcastically with a laugh that escaped me and looked back up to him.

“Do you even hear yourself talking? I might not know everything but the things I heard and a certain someone told me, are obviously indicating that this wasn’t just one-sided.” Luc fixed me with his famous ‘You and I know I’m right’ look.

“He was never supposed to tell you in the first place. But believe what you want, I’m not the foolish, little girl I once was anymore.” I said coldly, blocking out everything I thought about previously and averting my eyes to the boys we were here for. I wouldn’t make this mistake a second time. I would never let anyone that close to me ever again. Not even him.

The trio with the two Spanish men and the captain continued their way on the side of the cage to one of the front rows. Santiago did the same Will had before and shouted something to Ben while hitting the fence with his hand a few times. Not that any words would change how the fight would end. Call me a heartless bitch for that thought but we all know it’s the truth. There was only one possible option anyway, anything else was unacceptable.

But back to the boys, shall we? In the meantime Tom went over to the older Miller, exchanging their typical brotherly hug with a pat on their backs. I kindly ignored the woman walking by inside the cage in her flimsy outfit that barely covered anything, holding up a sign to indicate round 1.

Afterwards the trio sat down on a bench like mostly everyone else in the gym, occasionally sipping on their beers while Will resumed his position in the corner of his little brother. Not gonna lie, I was curious about what they were talking because I knew that certain look in their faces when I saw it. Since all were together now and remembering the red folder Santiago had brought with him, there was no way that they weren’t speaking about his idea. Will seemed to join their conversation shortly after when he turned around and hunched over to them. The single nods of each that followed, confirmed what I had already suspected. None of them would sit this out, if one was in, all were. Ben was out of question since he’d always be with his big brother, I was sure that hadn’t changed too.

Santiago’s wide grin and the pat on Frankie’s left arm gave it away. He had gotten what he wanted, every single life of them was on the battlefield now. We could only wait and see who would survive this deadly play in the end… Good that they had an ace up their sleeve they didn’t knew about yet.

“And here we go!” The announcer’s voice rang through the gym and all people that were sitting jumped up from their seats including Frankie, Tom and Santiago, the previous silence gone and replaced with loud shouts and cheers. Will clapped his hands like a few others and had his eyes on his brother and from how it looked, giving him a last encouragement from behind.

The referee that had gotten inside the cage held his hand in the middle of both fighters and looked from Ben to his opponent before quickly retreating and starting the fight all had been waiting for, besides me.

Ben had already zeroed in on the other guy, the look in his eyes one that I had only seen on missions when shit got serious, there was nothing of his always so bright character but a steely and hard one of a soldier. They slowly walked toward each other and as soon as they touched gloves, he took a punch to the left of his face and I immediately jerked my head away to the side and shut my eyes, not wanting to see him getting hurt like that. I could literally feel the pain like I had been hit myself and exactly that brought something up I never wanted to experience for the life of me again and I could feel my body reacting on it.

“You good? If we need to leave-” Luc picked up on the signs and came closer as a precaution in case he needed to step in.

“M’ fine.” I tried to ground myself but felt the embers that had been smoldering deep inside of me starting to ignite with the fatal spark they had been waiting for all this time into a roaring wildfire, feeling the hot flames already boiling the blood in my veins.

My mind just blanked and there was only one thought flashing in bright red before me ‘Kill him! Rip his head off! Snap his neck! Kill him!’. If it weren’t for Luc who held me back, I would’ve actually done it.

“You have to stop yourself. Come on, focus on me.” He stepped into my line of sight that was locked on the other fighter to get me to pay attention to him and not murder someone in the middle of a full gym. “He’ll be okay, it won’t help if you kill the guy.”

Thankfully nobody had noticed yet how hard my teammate had to fight against me to keep me from spilling blood. The monster inside having been freed and being on the trail of its prey, ready to land the death blow and wanting to retaliate against the pain that was inflicted.

“I get how badly you want to hurt him but you can’t go out there.” He carefully touched my arm to test the waters and see how I would react, rubbing it up and down soothingly after making sure I wouldn’t attack him before he joined our hands and gave me multiple squeezes to deescalate the situation.

“Let. Me. Go.” I threatened and sent him a menacing glare, punctuating every word and trying to get out of his iron grip he had on my hand. I was so far gone that I didn’t think rationally, there was no difference between right and wrong anymore.

“Do you wanna expose us? Want your boys to see you like this, Y/N?” Luc countered unbothered and looked me straight in the eyes. He didn’t show the slightest trace of fear although he knew this was more than serious and I wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him to get what I wanted.

“Get out of my way or I’m gonna make you regret it.” I said in a low voice and straightened my stance, making it visibly clear that it was a better choice to back down before I would resort to more drastic measures.

“We both know you need more than that to scare me off.” He scoffed, daring me to show him how far I was willing to go. It wasn’t the first time he had to witness what happened when I lost control and knew how to handle it.

Oh boy, really shouldn’t mess with me when I’m pissed off.

Gritting my teeth at him, I tried to break free again but he didn’t budge and only raised a challenging eyebrow at me to show me who had the upper hand right now.

But before I could do anything, the crowd erupted into loud cheers and our attention went instantly back to the fight. Ben had landed a right hook on his opponent, that looked like he had taken some good hits in the meantime and was struggling to regain his balance. A satisfied feeling rushed through me in that moment, wanting him to feel as much pain as possible, and Ben to beat the shit out of this guy. He deserved it.

“See? He can hold his own. You don’t have to protect him.” Luc thought he had the situation under control but joke’s on him, he made everything much worse with his last sentence and realized far too late what had slipped out.

His words echoed around in my head without pause and drove me to the edge I had been teetering around, waiting for the final push that he had just delivered.

“You’re dead!” I snapped and narrowed my eyes to small slits before I made a more violent attempt to get out of his hold so I could wrap my fingers around his throat, but he still didn’t think of letting go and hardened his grip instead.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it! You need to calm down and snap out of it, I know you can.” Without giving me time to react, he let go and pressed me to his body.

I tried to get away from him when I caught up with what he did but he was too strong. Thrashing around violently but to no avail.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. I just need you to relax. I’ve got you, Y/N.” My teammate continued and waited patiently till my fight against him would die down eventually, countering every try I made. If I managed to get out, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold me back a second time.

“You’re okay, just breathe.” He tried to soothe me and caressed the side of my neck with his thumb slowly.

We stood a few minutes like this until he felt me beginning to relax and he softened his hold carefully.

“There we go. You left me for a sec there, not liking your man getting hurt, hm?” Luc chuckled unfaced and looked down at me after he pulled back a little, still holding me.

I just looked perplexed at him, too scared to say something as I came back to my senses and feeling my heart hammering against my ribcage and the adrenalin rushing through my body.

If he hadn’t been here with me, this would’ve ended in a mass murder.

The thought hit me like a freight train and I shivered. A small part of me was afraid of myself but the bigger part loved the idea of it.

How it would have felt to see their life leaving their eyes, wrapping my fingers around their throats till their last breath left them or how their precious, red life source decorated the whole floor… How much pain I could have caused… and how good it would have felt…

“Hey, are you with me?” A soft touch on my cheek interrupted my thoughts before they could’ve gone even darker.

Nodding, I took some long and deep breaths to settle back in the present and get down from the high I had been on.

“I-I’m sorry.” I apologized with guilt in my voice, not wanting to hold eye contact any longer but he didn’t let me.

“Don’t apologize. It’s okay, Y/N. I know.” Luc assured me with an understanding smile and stroked my cheek.

There was not really anything that could shake him, he wasn’t scared of me like he should be, hell, like everyone should. He never looked or treated me any differently despite all the horrible things I had done and was there when I couldn’t handle myself anymore.

Shouting and clapping filled the gym all of a sudden again that felt way too loud for my ears and made me wince. It was like a sensory overload together with my head that still tried to follow along and comprehend everything at once.

“It’s probably better if we go.” Luc suggested with slight concern and eyed me warily as he took his spot next to me.

“No, I want to watch.” I replied and tried to pull myself back together.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, Y/N. Don’t force too much onto yourself, please.” Both of us knew I was too stubborn to allow myself an out right now, but I appreciated his worry.

“I can handle it, I promise.” I affirmed and shifted my attention back to the fight I had been mostly ignoring. I was playing a dangerous game with myself in this moment, but I wanted to remind me how fucked up I really was. That the things I felt and the thoughts in my head were far from normal, that I wasn’t normal and never would be.

Collective ‘Uh’s’ and ‘Oh’s’ were heard when his opponent tried to land a hit on his shoulder, but Ben ducked away to the side before he fully reached him, like he had anticipated that guy’s move way ahead before he did it and delivered justice right back to him with a heavy punch in his stomach. Technically it was an unfair fight because Ben’s senses were trained for much more than this little cat and mouse game he had going on with that poor guy and he should be able to knock him out cold in a matter of seconds. He hadn’t been a combat expert for nothing. But I guess they didn’t want to replace a new corpse every fight, not that he’d go that far anyway since it was a sport after all. But isn’t that the thrilling part to play with danger? That he could kill him so easily if he only wanted?

I had to give credit to the guy that he was still standing and hadn’t given up yet, but it wouldn’t take long till he would need to at least take a break if Ben continued like this. In contrast to his opponent, he looked more than fine, like he just got started.

They circled each other when they had gotten some distance between them, predatory eyes following every small movement and calculating their next move.

Ever as impatient as I remembered him, Ben chose to strike first and leaped forward, his look fixated on his target as he closed the space between them. His body language indicated that he aimed for the guy’s left side, but I quickly figured out that he was only pretending and instead was going for a direct blow under his jaw with his right hand and sending his opponent full force on the ground that hadn’t seen this coming. What a brilliant move. Trick your target into believing the wrong things and then strike.

“Damn, that was a nasty one. He definitely knows his shit.” Luc commented from beside me with an impressed tone and looked over from the corner of his eyes, checking for any indicators that I was about to act out again but after finding none, focusing back on the fight.

The crowd clapped and roared in excitement when Ben’s opponent laid there for a few seconds and the referee had to check up on him if he was able to continue the fight. How their horrified screams would sound instead?

It seemed like that guy wasn’t about to accept that he didn’t stand a chance as he got up again and back into his fighting stance, blood running from his nose and mouth. Ben definitely had landed some good punches on him and thankfully not the other way round.

The look in his eyes that he was sending Ben now had me tensing tho, he sure as hell wasn’t happy how their fight was going and must be planning something to turn it around in his favor. He was out for blood, but he wasn’t the only one. They inched closer toward each other carefully after the referee had released the fight a second time until the guy decided it was his chance to strike and quickly lunged at him. Ben stepped to the side to avoid his incoming attack but was greeted with his opponent’s other fist that came flying to his chest area and nearly knocking him off balance. He just made sure I would crack every single bone in his entire body, and I’d absolutely enjoy doing it.

But Ben’s punch in return was faster than the guy had probably thought it would take him and he took a blow to the right side of his face, smearing more blood across his features.

Luc was right, I shouldn’t be doing this and instead should be disgusted at myself but the truth I had to admit was, that I would do what I could, to have that feeling crawling back again that actually made me feel alive. That I rather live in the dark than see the light.

The fight continued on with a constant back and forth between the two fighters, like the main event had finally started. Of course it happened as it had to and Ben got too cocky for his own good, probably thinking he could easily overpower his opponent with some quick combos now but got punished straight away for his mistake with some painful hits that had me back on edge and nearly running to the cage.

Scratch what I said before, I didn’t regret a single thought I had previously. This guy had to be taught a lesson. A damn good one. RIGHT NOW.

“Y/N!” My teammate had gripped my wrist in an instant as he saw that I was about to rush forward and jerked me back.

“He’s gonna pay for that.” I seethed and glared daggers at the fighter, my pulse shooting up once again.

“But you won’t be the one to do that. Ben will handle it.” Luc reasoned and tried to keep me in place next to him and not cause any unwanted attention on us.

“I’ll handle it and nobody else.” I growled and shifted my gaze to him. I’d gladly fulfill his death wish in a fucking heartbeat.

“You come back to yourself first before I let you do anything else. Come on, we’re going home. I don’t want you doing something you’d regret and have you on the title site of the newspapers tomorrow.” He countered as the sound of a bell indicated that the first half of the fight was over. The people around us going wild about the prospect of what was to come in round 2.

“I’ve seen enough of this depressing shit anyway.” I answered emotionless and let him drag me out of the gym with one last menacing look behind me.

Guess I had an important call to make.

None of them could have known what butterfly effect it would cause…

A/N: As always thanks so much for your support, every single one means so much! ❤️

The boys don't know yet what they're in for... 👀

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